#aspieincollege

[aspieincollege]

Don’t Stress Your Timeline

For as long as I can remember, I've always had an idea of how my life was going to go. I was going to graduate high school two years early, I was going to go to school at either Yale or UConn (Go Huskies!), probably both, undergrad at UConn, grad school at Yale. I was going to be a lawyer or a surgeon. By 20, I would have met my future husband, we'd be engaged by 22, married by 24, and start a family at age 29. I would have bought my first house by the time I was old enough to drink, and I was going to have a fabulous life. Man, you can tell that was a 4 year old's dream, because at age 22, my life is not even close to where I thought it'd be.  

In 8th grade, when my mom tried to get me a placement test, so I could go into a higher grade, we were lied to, and told that no such test existed (in spite of me knowing 2 people who had taken the same test. Both girls skipped into my older brother's grade, and both girls had a younger brother who was in my grade). In 9th grade, being in a school with 3,000 people was too overwhelming for me (this was 1 year before we discovered that I was autistic), so I started homeschooling again, like I had when I was much younger. During my high school years, I started an online business for a month, I learned how to solve the Rubik's cube in under a minute, dabbled with a couple of instruments, learned some sign language and German, spent a whole lot of time obsessing over Justin Bieber on twitter, wrote a book, made a life plan to be a vlogger like Charlie McDonnell, and fell in love with Tumblr. That's pretty much it. I was too depressed about my schedule having been messed with, that I couldn't find the proper motivation to just get up and keep going. I figured, hey!, life's over kid, move on. As someone who was part of the Sims generation, I didn't know how to move past a screw up, I was so used to a redo button. This funk lasted for a few years. When I was 17, I started studying for the GED test, and my SATs. I figured, maybe I could still stay on track. However, I hit another road bump when my homeschooling liaison wasn't in the district anymore, to sign off on me getting my GED at that point. I had to make a new plan.

Luckily, by this point, I was a little more used to disappointment, and bucked up and found out WHEN I could take my GED. Age 19. I was to turn 19 in July of 2014, so, on my 19th birthday, I mailed out the application to take the GED the next month. And I did. And I passed. My grades weren't as good as I was planning, but hey, I passed, and that's all that matters. I was still planning on taking my SATs, but after getting my test results from the GED, I wound up having a panic attack the morning I was to take it. So, I lost my money, but at least I didn't get another bad test score; I just wasn't ready yet. But, unfortunately, without those test scores, I had to make yet another plan.

This plan was to start college at 20, at the local community college, and then transfer to a very specific 4-year school. Long story short, in September of 2015, I went to my local community college, and when it came time to apply to 4-year colleges, I only applied to one, the one of my choice, and since this blog is about my experiences after transferring, then I think it's safe to say, I got in. I got in to the 1 school I applied to. Those are good stats. So, my plan may be off course from what I originally intended, but it's still going well. And I'm glad I made it here, when I did, because I wouldn't know the people I've met. And I really like my friends here. I don't know if I would have made it through the past semester and a half without them.

So, all I can say is, when things get really hard, sometimes you just have to breathe your way through it. Cry it out if you have to, after all, crying is cleansing. Find a support system, and remember, everything happens for a reason. I've got complete faith in you, even when you don't have it in yourself.

[aspieincollege]

Making Your Space Your Own

After spending many, many, MANY years on Tumblr, I’ve come to love a simple aesthetic for my bedroom. To the point of obsession. However, at home, my own bedroom is too small (it’s literally smaller than my dorm room), and I have too much crap that I cannot figure out what to do with it. So, as I headed off to school in August, I was excited to have a fresh start and make my room completely Tumblr-y. As someone with Asperger’s, and I’m pretty sure neurotypicals can relate, college is extremely stressful, and having a good place to just RELAX is crucial. Your room should be your safe haven. This past semester, it took me some time to find the perfect vibe for my room, but I got it perfect in time for finals week, and let me tell you, it was a life saver, and I cannot wait to return to that room next semester. I lucked out, in my school, they have townhomes for upperclassmen, so I don’t have to share my room, but if you DO have to share a room, it’s far more crucial that your area is YOURS. Here’s some things that I did to make my room comfy: 1. I bought a salt lamp. 2. I bought faerie lights, well, I have regular old Christmas lights, but faerie lights are cuter, and I will eventually upgrade. 3. I brought a soft cozy throw blanket, to put on my lap when it’s a little chilly in my room. 4. And most importantly, to give my bed the illusion of a couch during the day, I brought a bunch of decorative pillows to school with me.  5. I also spent a lot of time making a great chill playlist to listen to, that’s been good for studying, and good for relaxing.

For those of you in school, what have you done to make your room more cozy?

[aspieincollege]

Getting Out Of A Funk

As the second week of the semester comes to an end, I'm finding myself still in a bit of a funk. Everything is so similar to last semester, that I've been having trouble transitioning my mindset into my new classes (as described in my previous blog post). However, I have found a great (and cheap!) solution to kick my brain into this new semester! It's as simple as more decorations. My first real post on here talks about how to make your dorm room your own (can be found here), and that worked for me very well last semester, but now I need to kick things up a little to make everything feel brand new again. After many hours of browsing Amazon.com, I found two simple pieces that will transform my room, and I'm super excited. It was as simple as a poster and a tapestry.

These two pieces are so beautiful, and I cannot wait to put them up in my room! Have you had to switch up the look of your room in between semesters to help liven things up?

[aspieincollege]

“You Want Me To Go To A Party?!”

This is a question I asked my roommate E, only a couple of weeks into the semester. I was adamant that I wasn’t going to anything of the sort in college. For goodness sake, when I was dragged to middle school parties in the gym, I’d sit in the corner listening to the Jonas Brothers on my mp3 player, much to my friends’ discontent. Hey, I was there, that’s all you’re getting out of me. I wanted to say no so badly, but I also made a goal at the beginning of the year, that I was going to say “yes,” to SOMETHING that I desperately wanted to say “no” to. Also, someone wanted me to do something with them?! That was not something my friends and I back home did, we just all kind of sat there.

So, I told her to give me a few minutes, while I hastily got ready. I threw on some nice clothes really quick, painted my face with some makeup really quick, and tried to tame my wildly curly hair. I wasn’t sure how parties at my school were going to be, and how safe it’d be walking home, so I tucked my pocket knife in my shirt (hey!, a young girl could never be too safe), my keys in my pocket and out we headed.

I don’t think we even made it to a party that night, the town I go to school in, is good about shutting down parties early, but we did wind up at one of the local bars, and boy was that place crowded. It was an autistic NIGHTMARE! It was loud, it was crowded, and it was sticky. Everyone was spilling their alcohol EVERYWHERE! Plus, the drinks were expensive, and didn’t even taste that good (remember kids, drink responsibly, I’m 22 years old, so I’m of legal age to drink, and do not at all condone, or suggest drinking under age). 

I tried to hide the anxiety attack I was feeling by trying to just focus on people watching. This was a completely different kind of environment that I wasn’t used to. I could write about it all someday, so I had to really soak it all in (look there! I’m writing about it!). Luckily, I was able to channel my anxiety, and we actually left there pretty quick. We got there close to closing. So, E and I walked home, and I was proud of myself for doing something that made me so uncomfortable.

The rest of the semester, I was dragged to more parties and bars (there is a far more chill bar in town that I much more prefer), with either E or J. I’ve managed to find some coping techniques that help deal with the anxiety. I’ve found that it only comes from being overstimulated. I can deal with only 1/2 of these at a time: people bumping into me, or the music being FAR too loud. So if both are happening, I can usually calm down by just stepping outside of the party, by putting in my headphones, or if I don’t want people to know I have headphones in, I’ll bring earplugs. They’ve worked WONDERS. (Here is a link to a good pack of earplugs that come with 50 pairs, in case you want to go out with your partying friends, too!)

Do you have any of your own party experiences, or coping mechanisms? I’d love to hear them!

[aspieincollege]

Making Friends

When I first got to school, I was extremely nervous to make friends. To mask those nerves, I just was set on not TRYING to make any friends, and if it occurred organically, so be it. It was much the same attitude I had when I started 5th grade, the 4th school I was in, in my 4 years of being in school. (I was home-schooled until 2nd grade, which was good, since I was virtually nonverbal until I was 7 anyway.) The day I moved in, I was at school by 10 am, and completely moved in by noon. So my mom and I explored the area some, and when we got back in the evening, one of my other roommates, E, was moving in. It was an awkward welcome. We were just getting back in, and her and her dad would be leaving to go out to dinner. I didn’t see her again for days. That weekend, I sat in my room doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I actually didn’t leave my room at all, except to go to classes and use the bathroom. And for food, well, I had a mini fridge stocked with yogurt, and a box of granola bars that I’d ration. I had a meal plan, but going to the dining hall by myself was completely out of the question. This mess went on for a week. Until the school had a power outage. When my computer stopped charging, and my TV shut off, I knew that I would have to venture out of my room to see if it was the whole apartment. M and K were out of town, so I couldn’t ask them, but E was just getting out of the shower when the outage happened, and I ran into her for the first time since we moved in. Together we saw our RA, and found out that it was a schoolwide outage and should be back soon. So instead of going back to our apartment, we went to the grocery store. And just like that, I made a friend, and finally got some real food. The story of how I became friends with M and K was much simpler, they asked me if I wanted to get drinks with them and their friend Z, and his friend J. I accepted the invite. It was an awkward encounter, in which I mostly talked only to M, her and then at some point in the night when seats were shifted, J as well. It was a sort of ice breaker for meeting them all, but I still was way closer to E, and would gradually get to know the rest of the group from just sitting in the living room to do my homework. So, making friends wasn’t as hard as I’d hyped myself up to think it’d be the WHOLE SUMMER before I got to school. Just like 5th grade, when I was sure I’d make zero friends, and within seconds of sitting down was greeted by my now best friend of 12 years. I know it’s not always this simple, and it can be scary getting to know new people, but I’ve found that if you sit in a room full of people long enough, someone’s bound to say hi eventually.

[aspieincollege]

Well, my first semester is coming to an end...

...and it was horrible. Okay, it was fantastic, but it was also horrible.  Since this is the first post, I think I should introduce myself. My name is hyphenated, I am 22 years old, I am a junior in college, a first semester transfer student (I lived at home before and took a short bus ride to the community college down the road, I’m 4-5 hours away from home now), I have Asperger’s Syndrome, also known as high functioning autism, and I like music and Tumblr. Oh, and I have a niece that I’m obsessed with. Her name is Alice, also fondly referred to as my Aha!. Back to my first semester though. I live on campus, but luckily, my college has the option to live in an on campus townhouse if you are a junior or senior, with 3 other students. I live in one of those. It’s great because it’s an apartment, so we have our own kitchen and stuff, they’re 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and each unit has their own washer and dryer. That’s not coin operated. Lit. I have three roommates, technically, but two of my roommates - M & K - are dating, and have been since high school, and one of their friends from home - Z -, hangs out here A LOT, so it feels like he lives here too. In fact, I’m closer friends with him, than his two friends who actually live here. My other roommate, E, she’s amazing. I’m closest with her. Like me, she transferred in this semester, so neither of us knew anyone here. While I will go into more detail later about specific events of my semester, it was full of anxiety, ADHD, depression, trips to cafes in the local city to study on the weekends, parties that I didn’t want to go to, missed classes, friendships, drama,  some terrible grades and some great ones. I will also share some personal coping mechanisms that I have found to be very reliable for handling being on the Autism Spectrum in a foreign environment.

[aspieincollege]

I’m Back At School

Today marks a week since I’ve been back at school. While I’m mildly excited to see my friends, I definitely miss home. This semester has been much harder to jump back into than my previous 5. Maybe because it’s my first spring semester away from home, so, while it is a fresh new semester, everything is the same. My apartment still has the same little things in the same spots as last semester, and I’m even taking a follow up class from last semester, in the same classroom, with my same roommate that I took it with LAST semester. So things feel the same, but they’re so different at the same time. It’s honestly messing with my head. Luckily, my bullet journal HAS been helping increase productivity. I send this post out on a break from a 6+ hour study session. (To see my previous post about productivity, and the aforementioned bullet journal, click here).  Not only is the weirdness of this semester getting to me, I lost my wallet on Tuesday, and while I think it may be in Z’s car, I cannot be sure. (Last time I saw my wallet was after my night class with Z on Tuesday, we went to Burger King, haven’t seen the thing since). However, I have been able to replace at least 1 item from the wallet. I’m honestly extremely amazed with how I’ve been handling it all. I’ve been known to have extreme meltdowns (aspie freakouts, as I call them) whenever anything goes wrong, but I’ve been keeping relatively zen about everything this week, and that’s a big feat for me. Hope all is well with all of you lovely readers! Talk to you soon.