#asmi drarry

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

i have a Theory about gay ships of the world

So, for many months, I have had a Theory. @bat-plus-moth-equals-both says I'm deluded and insane for it, which means you can never trust anything they say, she's clearly taking revenge for that one time I called her eyes almond-shaped and pretty when we were twelve.

Now, I ask you, gay (gn) shippers of the world, to look upon the following ships and tell me what strikes you as a common point:

Aziraphale / Crowley (Good Omens book) John / Sherlock (Sherlock fanfiction) Henry / Alex (Red White and Royal Blue) Draco / Harry (Harry Potter fanfiction) Wilhelm / Simon (Young Royals) Nick / Charlie (Heartstopper) Darcy / Tara (Heartstopper)

TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE. TELL ME. LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE, MAGGOTS.

(i haven't watched young royals but the others i ship like my lifeblood depends on it, yes, thank you for asking, but that's not the common point)

[queermarzipan]

....I thought this post was complete. That it couldn't get any better after that roundoff from Neil himself. Turns out. Drarry fanfiction is in fact enough to bring it back lmao well done Asmi XD

actually i wasn't sure what he meant by /southern/ pansy specifically. he's an angel wouldt he have said northern pansy?

HA, that would have been a good twist actually, but it’s specifically an English expression, southern pansy meaning “posh English homosexual” because the English southern accent is stereotyped as being the posh accent, which Aziraphale definitely talks that way.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

hi it's the good omens mascot here's some shit about me that might be relevant

I appear to have accidentally caused chaos so I figured you might as well know about me since I'm responsible for it. And also so that you know who you broke, thanks ineffable fandom.

I have been called the prophet by some of you all. This is not entirely untrue, but I would like to add as I did in one post, that Apollo also gave me the curses of art, (very emotional) music, (sometimes good mostly dreadful) poetry, (same parentheses apply, except that the dreadful is on purpose) writing and (used to be good now dreadful) medical knowledge, and so yes, you did accidently adopt a messenger of an ancient Greek god.

Yes, this entire entry into your cult happened from start to now happened in 48 hours.

This will seem less bizarre when I give you context about me and fandoms. I changed career paths (after three years of intense study that cost me my sanity) from science to the arts because I was inspired by drarry fanfiction of them leaving their ministry jobs and following their dreams. Yes I tossed three years and my loss of sanity away in one week of decisions. I'm now a designer. Thanks Draco.

I read so much drarry fanfiction that my mum had to take me to the hospital for injured wrists. I wore wrist and elbow supports and was in constant pain for a few months. I was only later introduced to autoscroll. Yes, I am a fool. Yes, I am unaware of how to human.

I'm broke and cheap enough that I feel guilty buying bottled water, but for Christmas I spent the equivalent of around 150 bottles of water getting a Bakewell tart custom made (they don't sell them where I live). Why? Because in one single fanfiction, it is Draco's favourite food. I would never spend that kind of money on a dessert for any real human being.

That is to say, you all are not ready for when I REALLY fall for Crowley. I don't saunter vaguely downwards for people. I bypass earth and crash into hell, leaving a smoking pit in its infernal ground.

I swear I'm not as dumb as I seem, I just have ZERO general knowledge, and am terrible with faces. I can tell you what the graffiti on the walls of Pompeii from before 70 AD said but I don't know who my previous president was, and personally I think that's very classy of me.

Some of you seem concerned about my sleep schedule. Worry not, I sleep in four installments, night, morning nap, afternoon nap, evening nap. I sleep more than you all, that I can promise. I sleep more than my doggy sister.

About the streams and the timezones, I have no idea how to make it so people can watch, because I frequently mix up east and west and last morning I mixed up the Pacific and Atlantic ocean. I don't know at what point the Eastern hemisphere becomes the Western or how any of it works. I also thought Wakanda was a real place.

But hey fun fact, in 2020 diclofenac sales were dropping in Iceland. I know this because I wanted to make sure to use the correct painkiller in one sentence of a story I was writing. It was completely irrelevant. But hey any of you writers here probably feel my pain. I don't write fanfiction, but I am an author and I write original stories. And honestly what is more useful, Icelandic diclofenac sales from three years ago or timezones?

A career test once told me to be a standup comedian.

Yes that's me Asmi, just your regular dumbass lad who is slightly unhinged, serving himbo twink energy, hello hi nice to meet you all. PS: the poll results are out and Doctor Who won, so tremble, DW fandom.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

I've read so much fanfiction in the past few years that sometimes I forget that I am not, in fact, a white middle-aged British man. Is this a universal experience.

...

On a related note, I spend so much time on tumblr that now I don't know which timezone I'm running on, because it sure as fuck isn't Indian Standard Time. I woke up at 3 in the afternoon yesterday and it's now 7 am, I'm going to sleep soon. Which of you maggots gave me your timezone?!

(I did a little googling and it seems that I'm living healthily according to the timezone of Buenos Aires and Rio de Janeiro. I don't know what to do with this information. The rest of this week, I mostly match up to London time.)

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

it's slepe meds asmi i knOW yall missed me didn;t you maggots. im listening to someone to stay but a slowed version of it. it's a very beautiful song. you should lsten to it mabye that woul be nice? i've listened to it white i wrte my first book and thn while eeling som lonesome yknow

hear the fallen and lonely cry out canyou fix me up can you kdold me close

mmmgh

ngk

you know maggotyys im so very scared a idk cna you tell? im so veyr scared all the time an im all fuzzsome and everything frrls very empty when i look ayt yhe futrue which aint whow a future outghtta look is it? not bleak or sad or anything just empty and it's not about it being unkmown i KNOW it's unknown it's ienffable eheh but lik. itt's. i dont even iamgine anything because who KNOWS nayrmore whats gmnna be there?

it's all so bery strange. i feel liekthis is the part of the post whee i si9uld pyell about crowley fo CROWLEYYYYY it a tradiiton at his poisnt isny iy !@howmanyholesinswisscheese isnt it isnt it

my hands are glazed with lolive oil /paltonic because of the chamical burns on my smcalp

oopsydaisy

well gndongiht! i love you mamgots

TIME TO TAGGY BILDADDYW AHJOOOOOOO

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

I know you're a drarry person but have you read SCHOOLED by WyrdSmith? You might enjoy the humour.

A DRARRY REC? I'M HEALED. EDIT: IT WAS NOT A DRARRY FIC I'M DOOMED.

Also I am not a drarry person. I am a solemn member of the Religious Congregational Monarchy of Drarry. I serve them. Unconditionally.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

do... do you actually like harry potter?

im 98% sure that was you who had that in a pinned post at one time but i wanted to double check because i don't want to be mistakenly attributing that with you if it wasn't

That was probably me! I do like Harry Potter... eh, kind of. Well, I like the fandom. I like the fancreated content. I love the queer part of the Harry Potter fandom. Honestly I haven't looked at canon in years and I am very sure that I don't want to.

Do I like JK Rowling? FUCK NO. ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT. I'm a trans guy and I hate, hate, hate how unsafe she made me and so many people like me feel. It's horrible, it's sick, and it's... yeah.

The trans people in the fandom, who persist in protecting that safe space they created, whose fics changed my life (saras_girl who writes drarry fanfiction literally saved me life, I would have... I wouldn't have made it without those stories that rescued me)... I like them. I love them. I owe them my life and my happiness in a very horrible time. Because back then, I didn't have the good omens fandom, I didn't have a queer support system, and ironically, the harry potter fandom filled that role for a long time.

So, well, there's the answer.

I'm so glad I've found the good omens fandom. I'm so glad I've found safety in this place.

If you're the same anon who asked me about JKR, I hope I provided a more comprehensive answer on that ask, which I'll link here.

[queermarzipan]

ON IT CAP'N 🫡🫡🫡

What are your favourite drarry fics? Mine is Survival is a Talent by ShanaStoryteller: Harry and Draco are adorable, and the original magic is quite entertaining. (Updates have been slow lately, but there's a lot less tension now, and it's worth reading even if it doesn't get finished)

omg YES I DO BELIEVE I'VE READ THAT.

Favourite fics in no particular order:

Turn by saras_girl: Absolute classic, changed my life, it was so beautiful and heartbreaking and healing and happy. Honestly everything by saras_girl is 1000/10.

Azoth by zeitgeistic: THE CHEMISTRY? THE ANGST? THE CLEVERNESS?

Dear Enemy by gingertodgers: the most hilarious epistolatory fic. i would die for all of them.

Little Red Courgettes by blamebrampton: i learned more about politics and diplomacy through this bloody hilarious political satire and romance than I did in all the rest of my education. I was crying with laughter throughout.

Draco Malfoy and the Mirror of Ecidyrue by starbrigid: The first book of the MoE series and it's Draco put back in year 1 with all his war memories intact and he relives everything and i'm doing a bad job but it's AMAZING and the platonic dramione friendship? harry having a crush on little Draco?

YES IM A NORMAL AMOUNT OF PASSIONATE ABOUT DRARRY.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

🍎 anon (dramatically): I'm back

Asmi (very deliberately not looking up ): yes, I can see that.

🍎 anon: more 🍎🍎🍎?

*looks up suspiciously* Why, yes. Thank you. Honestly, what do I have to lose even if it is poisoned? I'm dying at the final fifteen tomorrow anyway. Give me that emotional support fruit.

Trying to remember Draco as much as possible during the last 24 hours of my life in this mortal coil.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

well, it's been a year since i found you all...

My dear maggots,

This is a long letter, but I owe it to you, and I hope you read it. One year ago. That's when I made that fateful Good Omens post. I'd joined tumblr a couple of weeks before that, in some part for Drarry, mostly for some kind of community.

You see, the month before, I'd just dropped out of college, not even halfway through the first year. I'd been isolated by nearly all the students, and the administration took their side. Of the few I'd considered friends, only one checked in on me after. My high school friends were busy with their own college lives. It's a long story, and a sad one, but this isn't about that story.

Hopped up on reading too many tumblr screenshots on pinterest, I threw myself into the hellsite, and finally was able to talk to a couple of people. Some of you have run into my I need a friend post. For once, I had some kind of interaction. And then my dash was flooded with Good Omens and so I made a post trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with the gay angel and demon.

I was in freefall. I'd long since passed the edge of the cliff and fallen over, and everything in my life was upended, and everything that I'd valued about myself, I'd lost. I was in freefall, and you caught me.

Delighted by my utter dumbassery, apparently, you crowded around me and offered theories and fanart and posts and lore. You laughed at my stupid jokes and pulled me in to watch the show with you. You read my summaries and named me the Mascot of your fandom. You were all so, so kind.

Which is why I adore the Good Omens fandom, and why I'll never leave, even after what Gaiman did. Because yes, I'd interacted with him before things went down, and sure, he was involved in the journey, but this isn't about him. I didn't even know he existed before this year. This is about you, and me, and the community that we created. He doesn't get to take that away.

And then, even once I'd watched the show, you stayed. You became my family. You adopted me into your fold. You began to talk to each other, too. Some of you made friends, some of you found qpps, some of you fell in love with each other, some of you found family. And you thanked me for it, but I don't think you understand, it was thanks to you. You did this. You found a sad, lonely boy with a weird unhinged sense of humour, and you saved him. If you were saved yourself, well, I am very, very, glad. Because you deserve that. You all do.

Whether you've never interacted with me with words or whether we've had hours long phone calls, whether you found me out a year ago or last week, whether you're part of the good omens fandom or not, it doesn't matter, I want to say thank you. You should know that no matter what else happened, you are so deeply good. And kind. And you helped me.

I'm in art school now. You were with me while I was searching for a college. While I wondered if I should even join one. You were with me the day I did the entrance exam. You were with me on my first day, and every day after that. When I was at the hospital or at home or on holiday. I knew I was never alone. Because I had you.

You never have to be alone again, either. You gave me a family, and I will do everything I can to keep it safe. I love you, so, so much.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

~ Asmi

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

T-48 hours to Armageddon (when we watch me finish GO Season 2), I want to make a statement. and a will.

I've been getting a lot of ominous statements from the fandom. They've become increasingly concerned for my mental stability and even survival post the season two finale (thanks guys). I feel like as mascot I need to make some kind of statement, in case I do not survive the Final Fifteen. Maybe a will. Don't worry, this contains no spoilers (?) and no speculations or fanfiction about season 3. It is simply My Dramatic Outpouring of Poetic Emotion.

Firstly, @neil-gaiman, good day to you, Neil, this is the first interview (?) I have watched of yours. And I see you said "quiet, gentle and romantic" which until now I was kind of assuming was a fandom inside joke. I'm glad I know what to expect going into the second half of season two. In case I do not survive, thank you very much for this journey, you have created a masterpiece. I think I will watch Coraline in the next 48 hours since I am living on borrowed time and I do very much want to watch that before it all ends.

Secondly, to all the maggots, thank you very much for kidnapping me and dragging me into this beautiful pain with you. I do not think I will survive the Final Fifteen. I fell for Crowley and Aziraphale too deeply. But all my love to you, and I hope you will ensure my memory lives on. Take my posts and my meagre contributions, for they are yours. Maybe @1800ineedshelp, Lina, you can ask the maggot choir to sing Eleimon Aegovoskos (for those unaware, that is a hymn I wrote for Crowley) at my funeral, if my body is found and not discorporated. @queermarzipan I need you to mention my love for Drarry.

I have already put a POTC post in queue, maybe I'll add a few more so I linger painfully on this site even after my mortal remains are resigned to the stardust that Crowley once created.

Thirdly, @howmanyholesinswisscheese, please make the funeral arrangements and pay for them, thank you. You can play Someone to Stay if you like as you cry over your beloved late son (me). I hope I was your favourite (only) problem child and family disappointment.

Those who made art for me, @ivory--raven, @1800ineedshelp, @madfangirlontheloose, @arkytiorlecter, my deep thanks, let it be displayed in lieu of a photo.

Lastly, OFMD fandom, I'm sorry I entered so late. Make sure the show is renewed. Fly your gay flag high for me.

I still have two days, but I'm taking precautions because I'm very organised like that. Take my love, maggots, all of you, I couldn't tag everyone though I want to. May the nightingales sing again.

Your mascot and prophet, very, very dramatically yours,

Asmi

[queermarzipan]

OH MY GOD THOSE ARE ALL MY FAVS. Except for the courgettes which I've never even heard of somehow in this list of absolute CLASSICS. AA

I'm gonna take it upon myself to provide MORE RECS because YES, but first:

Turn by Saras_Girl. Yes. Yesyesyes first fic I ever read by reccomendation and it was soso good. You go looking for Drarry recs, the first one you find is this. For good fucking reason. 100% justified appreciation, imho. Yes. Maura😭😭😭❤

Azoth by zeitgeistic AZOTHHH I only ever read this once😭 can you believe. I loved it. Snape's portrait. 10/10 RESOLVING TO JUST. NOT LOVE HIM. LIKE IT'LL WORK. AND THEN HAVING TO STOP INTERACTING WHEN IT DOESN'T. 😭😭😭😭😭

Dear Enemy by gingertodgers DEAR ENEMY THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE SEEN THIS RECCED?? I'M?? SO HAPPY??? THAT THIS IS BEING APPRECIATED??? GOT ME INTO EPISTOLARY I HAVE NEVER LOOKED BACK. Identity porn, because obviously. SOSO GOOD

Little Red Courgette by blamebrampton: I have actually never heard of this which is weird since it's in a list of absolute CLASSICS. Sounds amazing will check out

Draco Malfoy and the Mirror of Ecidyrue: Currently paused lmao I have loved it so far but probably will have to restart the book I'm on it's been AGES. lol. Can you believe I had not heard of Eurydice when I started this fic?? Proof positive that I was not on Tumblr

NOW HERE COMES MY RECS. BECAUSE I AM LARGER THAN LIFE AND HAVE THE HUBRIS TO MATCH

Starting with my "keep this in an open tab for rainy days At All Times": Day 254 by tigersilver. Just SO rereadable you will absolutely reread it just save yourself the trouble and have a dedicated tab. It's fine.

Continuing with my "keep this in an open tab for rainy days At All Times But This One's Horny": Aural Gratification by birdsofshore. Also look through all of birdsofshore's works. Because. Yes.

Little Prince, Kneel by DragonGirl87. Oh. My. GOD. This is what got me into BDSM lmao. AMAZING introduction, ALL the kudos to the author, this is literally like a step-by-step guide through What To Do And What Not To Do and What Is And Is Not Okay, etc, all the author's notes have links and explanations, it's. Amazing. If you feel intimidated by that corner of fic and want to try it Literally At All—read this. Also super sweet btw Harry and Draco lmao that's what ur here for not me waxing rhapsodic about the frankly perfect introduction to BDSM this is. Ur not even here for that I'm hijacking another post lmao

Two Sides of the Same Coin by noiselessheart—Draco reads Romeo and Juliet. Gay Panic. Harry being BEST FRIENDS with Ginny. They are teenagers but they are So Teenager. Just. EVERYTHING. Amazing.

Per Solum Lacuna: By Words Alone by Azhure ARATAKTSSKTKTAAK. IDENTITY PORN EPISTOLARY THAT'S SOMEHOW EVEN BETTER THAN DEAR ENEMY BECAUSE THERE IS AN OLD BOOKSHOP!! IN FRANCE!! WHICH IS APPRECIATED EXACTLY AS IT SHOULD BE APPRECIATED I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS FUCKING BOOKSHOP this is an awful rec, I apologise, here's a better one lmao: Harry and Draco each independently find one half of a pair of enchanted journals that are definitely not sentient and definitely do not purposefully matchmake IT'S SO GOOD I SWEAR

You Send Me (Honest You Do) by firethesound HOLY FUCK THE LONGING. Friends to lovers is so fucking ACHY I LOVE IT AFKGSGKSDKGMFKTSKGSZ. Also check out the rest of firethesound's fics bc YES.

Star Quality by who_la_hoop WISH UPON A STAR THAT YOU COULD TRADE YOUR FAME WITH DRACO MALFOY LMAO THAT'LL GO WELL I love this so much lmao it's so great. Also I'm trying not to rec more than one thing by the same author but PLEASE check out Tea and No Sympathy, Groundhog Day timeloop, yes

Speaking of time travel—Eternally Consistent by kitsunealyc is the best time travel fic I have ever read. Hands down. So Fucking Good aND KEEPS IT FUCKING CONSISTENT. FUCK. I LOVE WHEN THINGS FIT TOGETHER. SO MUCH. ETERNALLY CONSISTENT HAS THE BEST NAME EVER FOR ITSELF

ALSO speaking of time travel—Far From The Tree by aideomai. Harry's kids travel back in time to Eighth Year. Wait... Harry's kids?? Like as in birthed children?? Fuck. Hwhehwehahhsghegwhe

Shibboleths by zeitgeistic—ATLANTIS IS HERE! WORLD IN CRISIS (only they don't know it yet lmao). Love this TO BITS. Eucalyptus😭😭😭 Yes this is a repeated author. No I do not care. It's from the original list it doesn't count

Love Bites by mlle_notorious: Top notch smut. God tier. Unbe-fucking-lievable. Also has a mystery, but. The smut. The SMUT.

Changing of the Guard by Lomonaaeren OH MY GOD THIS FIC. THIS FIC. THIS FIC I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS FIC I SWEAR TO GOD THIS IS A NORMAL REACTION I'M. FUCK. Harry runs a business called Metamorphosis, which provides the discerning witch, wizard or variation thereupon the perfect stranger for every occasion—and fulfils every role of the business himself. Including all the employees. (That's a lot of people. A lot of disguises, and a lot of people.) He gets a letter from Draco Malfoy asking for a fake boyfriend to make his parents disown him. CRUSADE AGAINST HOMOPHOBIA ENSUES.

It Started In The Shower by chickenlivesinpumpkin: Started it for the smut, got hooked by the story. Seems OOC, BUT IT'S NOT I PROMISE THERES A REASON OMG IT'S ACTUALLY SO GOOD IT FITS WITH CANON PLUS MORE FUCKED UP VOLDEMORT PERFECTLY. OKAY. PLEASE. Harry finds Draco Malfoy in the shower at Grimmauld Place. They fuck. They keep doing it. And then Snape shows up. (During Not-Seventh-Year.)

That's thirteen. I'll stop now. If anyone wants more just ask and I WILL respond I promise but it will not be a list like this it will be like. One or two. Or three. MAYBE four.

Fucking hell I love you for this Asmi. I've been cold turkey on Drarry for TOO FUCKING LONG. XD.

What are your favourite drarry fics? Mine is Survival is a Talent by ShanaStoryteller: Harry and Draco are adorable, and the original magic is quite entertaining. (Updates have been slow lately, but there's a lot less tension now, and it's worth reading even if it doesn't get finished)

omg YES I DO BELIEVE I'VE READ THAT.

Favourite fics in no particular order:

Turn by saras_girl: Absolute classic, changed my life, it was so beautiful and heartbreaking and healing and happy. Honestly everything by saras_girl is 1000/10.

Azoth by zeitgeistic: THE CHEMISTRY? THE ANGST? THE CLEVERNESS?

Dear Enemy by gingertodgers: the most hilarious epistolatory fic. i would die for all of them.

Little Red Courgettes by blamebrampton: i learned more about politics and diplomacy through this bloody hilarious political satire and romance than I did in all the rest of my education. I was crying with laughter throughout.

Draco Malfoy and the Mirror of Ecidyrue by starbrigid: The first book of the MoE series and it's Draco put back in year 1 with all his war memories intact and he relives everything and i'm doing a bad job but it's AMAZING and the platonic dramione friendship? harry having a crush on little Draco?

YES IM A NORMAL AMOUNT OF PASSIONATE ABOUT DRARRY.