#ask-the-mew-winky

[sometimesmew]

Hello dear Winky, Would you care for a Oran berry Muffin @ask-the-mew-winky

[ask-that-one-mew-blog]

"and if they don't die, I die. One of us will be sad in the end. About a boyfriend? ...yes, I had one. I don't want to talk about that, tho." ((Sorry Winky, Andromeda doesn't like making friends, it started to hate it after its best friend died, being that not-legendaries have a shorter life than legendaries. Just to let you know, Andromeda's genderless and I have no idea what its sexuality is-))

[ask-the-mew-phock]

come back where is this phock?

[jjmjjktth]

Chapter 3: Firsts Lead to Seconds

Lady Papilion sent a butterfly to the Eiffel Tower at the arranged time. She could sense the apprihensiveness and destruction of the Black Cat hero. Guiding her butterly to land on Chat’s baton, she felt the weak mindlink for between the two of them. “Hello, Chat Noir, I am Lady Papillion, your partner.” Chat started at the sudden voice in his head.

“Lady Papilion? What miraculous do you hold, how did you get it, and why are you able to be in my head?” Chat questioned.

“I am the weilder of the Butterfly Miraculous of Metamorphosis and Encouragement; the miraculous was put in my bag; and, the miraculous makes a mindlink for me to speak to you directly and give you power if we both agree.” She responded,”What miraculous do you hold and how did you receive it? I assume it has something to do with cats.” She decided to keep the fact that she knew so much about the miraculous a secret for now, she didnt trust him…. Yet.

“I am the wielder of the Black Cat Miraculous of Bad Luck and Destruction; the miraculous appeared on my coffeetable; and I can destroy anything with a touch.” Chat stated with the same amount of formality.

“We must discuss a plan for dealing with Paeon; maybe patrols of something like that. We will also need to speek with athoraties abou setting up an alert or something.”

“I agree, they need a way to contact us as well. For all we know it won’t always be obvious when there’s a…. what did you call it…. an amok?” at her nod, he continued. “Maybe we could talk to our kwamiis about communication devices and give the local government our numbers?”

“I could talk to Nooroo about that. What’s your kwamii’s name?”

“Plagg”

“Give me a few minutes I’ll detransform since I’m not in a public place.” Lady Papillion transformed without recalling her butterfly. She immediately gave Nooroo a flower petal.

“Thank You Miss Marinette.” Nooroo tiredly said.

“Nooroo is it possible for you to notify me of messages while detransformed?”

“Yes, I’ll know if a message is left while you’re not LP!” Nooroo chirped.

“Thank you Nooroo, let’s rest a bit. I told Chat we’ll be a few minutes.”

After a minute or two Marinette transformed to reconnect with her butterfly in Chat’s weapon.

“It is possible for us to communicate with the miraculous, our kwamii are able to notify us of any messages and relay responses even when we aren’t transformed.”

“Well, its settled then. Will you usually be contacting me from off-site?” The cat questioned.

“Yes, my miraculous is made to be used from outside the battles; therefore, I am not as wellprotected as you while transformed. I do have a place I can use as a base, though.”

“Ok. Can you recall your power so we can test our communicators effectively?” As soon as she heard his request, She called out her butterfly and released it from her service.

A few seconds later, her staff buzzed and beeped. Opening the top, she requested the message be read to her.

“One message from Chat Noir…. ‘How can I be of surrrvice, Lady Papillon.’”

“Respond to Chat Noir with, ‘Since this seems to be working, could you bring the contact information to the law enforcement?’”

“Responce sent…. New message from Chat Noir.”

“Read it please”

“‘On my way’” Smiling, she detransformed and retrieved a flower petal for Nooroo.

“Thank you!”

“No problem, lets make our way back to school though.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful compared to the morning; and people were flocking to Ivan to hear about how he beceme a superhero.

“I don’t have any power, guys, there was this lady in my head who gave me power and guided me through the battle!” He explained for the hundredth time. He sounded exasperated.

“This so-called ‘lady’ must be rediculous if she chose you. I would have ended it the moment it began. Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.” Chloé, it’s always Chloé. I could hear Ivan shaking in his seat.

“HOW DARE YOU!” Ivan roared, “MY LADY IS A WISE AND RESPONSABLE WOMAN AND YOU CALL HER ‘RIDICULOUS!’”

“Ivan.” I state, drawing on my calming aura. “Can you calm down? Paeon is still out there and, from what I observed, he gives strong emotions physical form.” I was too late.

Rose shreeked, “The feather! It’s back!” The blood drains from my face and I get up to leave the room. As I enter the hallway, I hear a faint “Yes, Paeon” followed by a stampede.

I ended up using a fire escape to get out of the building since no one semed to think of that. From there it was a simple affair to arrive at my greenhouse as it was somewhat out of the danger zone.

“Nooroo, did the amok take the same form?”

“Yes, it has also taken Chloé Borgeois and Mylené Harple captive.”

“Ok, Nooroo, wings rise!” The familiar warmth washed over her, leaving Lady Papillion in its wake. Feeling the rush of emotions, LP sought out Ivan once again. Bonding with a photo he had on him, she spoke, “Ivan, we meet again.”

“I am so sorry! I was just so angry at Chloé, she insulted you!”

“While I am honored you decided to defend me, Paris has changed. As much as I hate to admit it, it is no longer safe to feel negative emotions. That’s what makes Paeon so cruel.”

“I understand, My Lady.”

“Ivan, are you willing to become Ironheart once again to defeat the amok?”

“Yes, My Lady.” She smiled at his agreement and allowed her power to enter Ivan fully. Transforming him into Ironheart in a wake of lavender bubbles, she began to guide him towards the battle.

Chat Noir was already on the scene, arguing with the police.

“This isn’t a failure on our part! This is an entirely separate situation!”

“Then why is the same monster as earlier climbing the Eiffel Tower with the mayor’s daughter!”

“I don’t have all the information yet!”

“Ironheart, can you please open your palm?” I asked. When Ivan opened his palm, an image was projected into the air. Lady Papillion was siting on her throne of metal vines, her sceptre resting on her lap. One of her hands remained on the handle of the sceptre while the other was draped casually over the vines of the armrest. Around her thousands of butterflies, many different kinds, flew around her.  Giving her the image of a Lady in her keep.

“What seems to be the issue, officer….”

“Raincomprix, Leutenant Raincomprix.” the leutenant seemed to be a bit intimidated by the aura of power she gave off. At a nod of her head, he continued, “As a police department, we were concerned about the resurfacing of this morning’s villain despite you two supposedly defeating him.”

“I assure you, the resurfacing of the amok has nothing to do with Chat Noir and I. The man behind the attack, Paeon, posesses an ability to physically manifest any strong emotions into beings for him to control. The victim of this morning mearly got upset enough for Paeon to exploit them again. This will most likely become a common occurrence untill we track down Paeon and strip him of his power.” The leutenant’s face fell at her words.

“We have already left our contact information with the police department,” Chat chimed in.

“We must hurry, the amok has already caused enough damage as is.”

There is a sudden rustling of feathers as the amok put it’s chest towards the sky releasing millions of feathers from inside. The feathers, moving against the wind, rose into the air taking ther form of a man in a mask.

“I am Paeon, the man who controls this sentinel.” Paeon gestures toward the amok. “I have come to rescue you from the villains Chat Noir and the Butterfly. I must retrieve their miraculous to strip them of their power. Look around you, look at all the destruction they caused.”

“Ironheart, put your palms into the air please.” When Ironheart follower her instruction, a much larger projection than earlier filled the space above him.

“Paeon, how lovely to meet you.” Lady Papillion greeted with a sickly sweet tone. “I was wondering when I would have the pleasure of your acquaintance.” She relaxed onto her throne as Paeon scowled. “I am Lady Papillion, weilder of the Butterly Miraculous of Metamorphisis and Encouragement. Chat Noir and I have not caused the damage to uor beloved city, but Paeon tore through the city using a creature formed with the hurt and rage of an innocent teen. Doesn’t that sound more like the actions of a villain?” With that Ironheart lowers his hands and lept up the tower catching the feathers in his shield. A blinding light shone from the shield and the feathers were gone.

Sensing it was time to act, Chat Noir bounded after Ironheart. The battle was short after that. A well times cataclysm and two graceful catches ended the majority of the afternoons excitement.

As soon as the heroes reached the ground, they were surrounded by the press with their questions and flashing lights. It was definitely a new experience for the three.

“Lady Papillion! Ironheart, do you plan on working together for the time being?”

“Chat Noir! What do you think of Paeon painting a picture of you as a villain?”

“Chat Noir! How long do you plan on being a superhero, and how will it effect your daily life?”

“Lady Papillion! Why dont you show your face in person?” There were so many questions and so little space that Ironheart had to send out a little shockwave to get them to back off so the small image of Lady Papillion could speak.

“Ironheart and I will each take one question.” She stated with no room for argument. “I will not appear in person as, like Paeon, my miraculous is meant for distance and leaves me more vulnerable than the average miraculous weilder.”

“I dont know if I will be selected by my Lady again, but if I am, I will gladly accept it.” Ironheart stated and then left.

“Well done, Ironheart. Remember, your protectiveness is both your strength and your weakness. Be careful.” And with that she withdrew her butterfly and released it from her service. Before she could detransform, her septre buzzed.

“One new message from Chat Noir.”

“Read it.”

“‘Purrhaps you could send one of your butterflies to Arc de Triomphe, I would like to speak with mew, winky face.’” She sighed and sent out another butterfly with a kiss.

The butterfly made its journey to the Arc de Triomphe rather quickly and promptly joined with Chat’s golden bell. “You wanted to speak with me?”

“Yes, I would like to see this base of yours so we can work together purrroperly.” Chat demanded.

“No, It would give away my identity or at least narrow it down for you. That is against what my kwamii told me.”

“Would knowing our identities not improve our teamwork, My Lady?”

“It also may hinder it Chat; so, I must say no.” she could feel his disappointment and anger rising.

“How can I trust you if I don’t know who you are?!”

“You will have to. I am goind to send a champion to heal the city. Good bye, Chat.” and she recalled the butterfly; but not before she felt his anger spike.

Feeling around, Lady Papillion searched for someone with the desire to fix everything. She sent her butterfly into a foreman’s clipboard.

“Hello, sir. I am Lady Papillion, what is your name?”

“Lady Papillion! Um…. I’m Rich Bordétte. It’s an honor to meet you My Lady.”

“Thank you Rich. I would like to offer you the ability to fix all the damage from today’s battles, even death.”

“Ok, call me….  The Worker!”

“Rich Bordétte, do you accept my offer to become The Worker”

“Yes, Lady Papillion.”  The lavender bubbles covered Rich; in the same way as Ivan, the bubbles gave him a sunflower-colored hardhat, a safety vest, and a toolbelt with only a drill on it.

The Worker rose into the air and raised his dril and without ceremony pressed the button. From the tip of the drill, various butterflies and moths streamed out to the city covering everything that was damaged and anyone who was hurt or worse. As soon as the last moth landed, The Worker cried out and all the bugs rose at once flying to the sky. Below, the city looked just as it did the day before. The rubble was gone, the people were healed and all evidence of Paeon was gone.

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Taglist: @novemberandmay @mysteriouslyswimmingfan-blo-blog @slytherinhquinn @blackroserelina  @buginetye @basenikon @moon5608 

Hello, Jjmjjktth here. welcome to my extremely irregular upload schedule filed by a mix of procrastination and The FeelsTM.

 WARNING!!! It may be one day to two or three months when i upload next!

please be patient :) 

Love y'all!

[wooyunhwa]

Genre: smut, fluff, humorous undertones

Pairing: barista!san & barista!wooyoung x fem!reader

Word Count: 7.6k

Warnings: idk just a lot of smut scenes, semi-public sex (in a bathroom), minor pet play (san discovers he’s furry trash), threesome with san and wooyoung but they’re not gay for each other, mild food play (whipped cream) 

Synopsis: How do you choose between two cute baristas competing for your attention? The short answer: you don’t. 

A/N: This one starts wholesome and gets wild. I have a problem with writing San with a furry kink oops,, anyway there’s three separate smut scenes in this so strap in and enjoy the ride~ this was so much fun to write and I hope it’s just as fun to read! Comments are appreciated as always <3 

You paid for your coffee, taking your debit card back from the cashier with a polite nod and a “thank you.” He smiled warmly, flashing his brilliant teeth as he tore off the little piece of paper from the printer. 

“Receipt?” he asked. 

“Sure,” you replied. 

His name was San, which you knew from his nametag. You had come to that particular cafe enough that you were pretty familiar with everyone. You took it, smiling back at him. It could have been your imagination, but lately it seemed like his gaze had been lingering on you. He would make eye contact for a little longer than necessary when you ordered, or smile a little too much when handing you your coffee, or maybe not, and it was all just in your head. You kinda hoped it wasn’t, because he was really, really cute. 

You’d been coming to that coffee shop since earlier in the summer, sporadically at first, but midterms coming up meant you really had to buckle down on trying to tame your workload. You kinda regretted taking summer classes at first, but it was nice to have the coffee shop all to yourself in the evenings, unlike in the fall when it was packed with students. It was so quiet, in fact, that the employees had shut the lights off and almost closed up once when they hadn’t noticed you were still inside. It wasn’t strange for you to be the last customer left in the cafe, especially since you’d been staying late to study more often.

You set your laptop up in your usual spot—the corner seat with the outlet. It was cozy and out of the way, and relatively free of distractions. Well, relatively meaning there was still a very cute barista shooting glances your way, and you tried your best to keep your eyes glued to your screen as you typed out your essay for your literature class. But you couldn’t help but peek in his direction every now and then.

“Y/N?” a voice called. It was Wooyoung’s voice, not San’s. Wooyoung was the other cute barista who worked there, and honestly, you’d kinda had your eye on both of them for a while. It wasn’t unusual for them to be working at the same time, but most nights it was either one or the other. He gave you a sweet smile as you thanked him and took the cup back to your seat. 

Next to your name was a smiley face and some cute flower doodles, and you grinned at the fact that he’d gone out of his way to make your coffee cup look special. Wooyoung always drew a cute little design next to your name, sometimes including phrases like “have a good day!” or “you rock!” or even a short little joke. You often wondered if he did that for other customers, or if he was doing it to flirt with you. Which you kinda hoped was the case, to be honest. He had a playful, sexy charm about him, and you often wondered how a person could make an apron look so hot. 

The next day, you were working diligently when you noticed San slide into the empty seat across from you as you worked. You looked up from your coffee, startled, but moved your laptop out of the way to give him some room. 

“What’cha studying?” he asked, grinning as he leaned over to peek at your screen. 

“Oh—uh, just studying for midterms, nothing too exciting,” you said, taking a shy sip of your coffee. He was even more beautiful up close, his smile almost too dazzling for words. He ran a hand through his pale blonde hair, turning his head to glance out the window, and you marvelled at the cut of his jawline as he tipped his chin up slightly. He turned back, meeting your stare warmly. 

“Is it ok if I sit here? I can move, I don’t wanna bother you—“

“No, not at all!” you said a little too quickly. “Actually, I was just about to take a break from studying.”

“Oh, nice! I’m on break, too,” he said, a warm smile still plastered across his face. You tried your best not to stare, but it was futile. 

“I’m Y/N,” you said instinctively. 

He laughed. “Yeah, I know. I take your coffee order every day!” 

Your face felt red hot. Something about looking at how gorgeous he was made your brain short-circuit. 

“But while we’re introducing ourselves, I’m San,” he said seriously before breaking into a smile. He extended his hand for a cheesy handshake.Your heart fluttered a bit at how charming he was.

 “I know, I order coffee from you every day,” you teased back. 

You chatted for a while, exchanging flirtatious quips with each other. The time seemed to fly by and you noticed him glancing at the clock nervously. 

“Shit, I gotta get back to work,” he sighed, lifting himself up from the table, his toned arms flexing beneath the rolled sleeves of his button up. “But hey, here’s my number,” he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket smoothly and slid it across the table. “We should do something this weekend.”

You knew he was being flirtatious, but you didn’t expect him to actually make a move. You wouldn’t say you were unattractive, but this guy felt way out of your league.

You nodded a bit too enthusiastically, flashing a smile. “I’ll call you,” you said, holding the piece of paper up between your fingers. 

He winked, and nodded towards the bar. “You know where to find me.”

You found yourself at the cafe again the following night, as your workload never seemed to end. Last night, San had given you his number on his break, and you smiled as you got a text from him asking if you were free that weekend. You messaged back and forth for a bit, eventually settling on a plan to meet at a cat cafe on Saturday. 

San wasn’t working that night, but Wooyoung was, and you felt a little strange flirting with him after you’d already given San your number. But he probably didn’t know that, and it’s not like you were dating either of them, so why not? 

Wooyoung called your name when your coffee was ready, and you hopped out of your seat to grab it from the bar. To your surprise, there was no cup to be seen, and you looked up to see Wooyoung holding your drink in his hand with a mischievous smile. 

“Question,” he said. “Why did the coffee file a police report?” 

You looked at him in confusion, trying to come up with a response. 

“Because it was mugged!” he said, grinning at his joke. 

“Ha-ha,” you said sarcastically, but you couldn’t help the smile spreading across your face. “Are you holding my drink hostage?”

“Yes, would you like to hear the conditions?”

“Conditions?” you laughed, raising your eyebrows. 

“Mhm. One: I have another joke, and this time you have to laugh.” Wooyoung dangled the cup of coffee in his fingers, taunting you with it. 

“Ok, I’ll do my best. What’s the second condition?”

“Second condition: you have to text me,” he said, and he turned the cup to show you he’d written his number on one side, surrounded by hearts and winky faces. 

“Ok, deal,” you said, cheeks heating up as you saw the smile spread across his face. He was gorgeous, and undoubtedly charming, how could you say no?

“Alright, why did the hipster burn his tongue?” 

“Why?”

“He drank it before it was cool.” He pushed the cup across the bar to you, and you forced a laugh, taking it from his hand as he stuck his tongue out cheekily. 

You put his number in your phone, sending him a text with an equally cheesy joke you found off google. You heard him laugh when he read it, and you smiled as you continued to type out your essay. 

[Saturday, 4pm]

It was finally time for your first date, and you arrived at the cat cafe a few minutes early, eager in anticipation. You couldn’t help but think about how cute he was as you waited—you couldn’t believe he’d even asked you out in the first place. Let alone both of them. 

You heard him calling to you and you turned in the direction of his voice as he walked up to meet you by the entrance. “Hey, Y/N! I hope you haven’t been waiting too long.” You shook your head reassuringly. “Shall we go inside? Pretty ladies first,” he said, opening the door for you and flashing you a flirtatious smile. 

You two were seated at your table, and immediately the cats took interest in you, rubbing on your legs and mewing. You admired him as he pet them lovingly. There was nothing more attractive than a man who loved animals. 

He ordered coffee and you opted for tea, and you both split a blueberry scone. The waitress came over with a small basket full of cat toys and accessories to play with, and you grabbed a handful, including a cute little headband with cat ears, which you slid on your head. You started playing with the cat toys when you noticed San’s eyes trained to you—specifically to the cheap cat ears on your head. 

He tipped his head to the side in thought. “Wow, you look really nice in those ears.” 

“Huh, these?” you said, gesturing to the cat ears. “I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing,” you teased jokingly. You noticed his face go red suddenly, and you couldn’t help but blush back. He was looking at you like you were the only other person in existence. 

“You never know,” he joked back, letting out a soft laugh and raising his eyebrow. He was so damn charming.

You spent the rest of the time playing with the kitties at the cafe, and you couldn’t help but marvel at how cute he was. He was the poster child for duality—his good looks were intimidating, and every time you saw him standing there with a straight face, he looked kind of scary, the kind of man you wouldn’t ever have the courage to approach. That is, until he flashed his intoxicating, dimpled smile of his, which immediately put you at ease, his eyes forming into cute crescents as he laughed. 

“Do you have any pets?” He asked, making light conversation as he dangled a toy in front of one of the kittens. 

“Not right now, my apartment doesn’t allow them,” you said dejectedly. “But I really want a dog when I move out.”

“Hey, I have a dog! He’s a Shiba, he’s super sweet. Everyone who meets him falls in love instantly,” he smiled, twirling the cat toy between his fingers. “You could come meet him if you want?” 

You blushed, flustered a bit at the idea of going to his place. But you two were really hitting it off, and you definitely didn’t want the day to end. You nodded eagerly. “I’d really like that.”

He flashed you another big smile, and you were entranced. How could he be so charming?

When you got to his apartment, he immediately introduced you to his dog, Shiber. You laughed at the unexpectedly literal name choice. 

“Shiber the Shiba?” you teased, and he laughed with you about it. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d had a date go so well, and your cheeks hurt from the constant smiling. 

You ended up settling on the couch to watch a movie, but neither of you were paying attention. Your movie plans had devolved into you talking and laughing with the TV only acting as background noise for your conversation. At one point, your conversation reached its natural conclusion, and you had your eyes trained to his lips, signaling that you wanted him to make a move. He noticed immediately, and scooted himself as close as possible to you, pushing your hair behind your ear. “Can I kiss you?” he asked softly, like you hadn't just been begging him to with your eyes seconds before. You answered by pressing your lips to his softly, and he reciprocated fervently. You immediately tasted the faint lingering of coffee, and you smiled against his lips. What could be more fitting for a man you’d met at the coffee shop? 

As the kisses began to escalate in intensity, you swung your leg over his and planted yourself firmly in his lap. He pulled you in by the waist, his hands grasping at your shirt eagerly, and you pressed your hips down against his crotch. The sudden pressure caused his breath to hitch in his throat. 

“That feels so good,” he moaned against your lips. 

You took his words as motivation to grind yourself faster and harder against the hard mound growing underneath you, taking pleasure in the moans and grunts escaping him. He grasped hungrily at the fabric of your shirt, practically tearing it off of your body. You were taken aback by his sudden aggression, but welcomed his forwardness as he began kissing and sucking down your neck. 

You pulled back, slipping off of his lap, and planted your knees in the carpet. You began unzipping his pants, and he ran his fingers through your hair in anticipation. 

“Wait,” he said suddenly. You looked at him, brows furrowed in confusion. “I keep thinking about something… those cat ears from earlier looked so sexy on you.” 

“I told you you had a cat kink,” you said with a chuckle. 

“I can’t stop thinking about making you my pet. You’d just look so good in ears and a collar,” he said, eyes darkening as he marveled at the sight of you kneeling before him. The way he said it sent shivers down your spine. His voice was so much deeper now, dripping with lust.

“Well you do have a dog,” you joked lightly.

A lightbulb seemed to go off in his head, and he quickly got up and rustled around in the other room for something. When he came back you were still in the same position, and he knelt behind you, leaning in close. 

“Wanna be my pet?” he whispered in your ear, and you giggled, thinking he was still joking. 

“Sounds fun,” you responded.

You were met with the feeling of a vice being tightened around your neck. He was serious? “I’ve always wanted to try something like this,” he mused in your ear, clicking the collar together. “Turn around,” he demanded, and his sudden commanding tone had you melting at his feet. You liked when he was cute, but you might have liked this side of him even more. 

You wasted no time getting your lips around his cock. It was picturesque in every way, and you wanted to savor it. His hands tangled in your hair as he held back from thrusting himself into you, and you took him as deeply as you could into your mouth. You took his dick enthusiastically, pressing your tongue firmly against it as you hollowed your cheeks to suck. You hummed against him, and you felt his fingers tense in your hair as he bucked his hips up needily. You glanced up at him, hoping to catch a glimpse of his pleasured expression. The view from beneath him was incredible, and it gave you a chance to marvel at the curve of his jaw from below. “Fuck...” he moaned. You pulled back for a moment to take a breath, your saliva connecting at the tip of his cock, and he let out a pleased sigh at the lewd display. “Good girl,” he praised, patting the top of your head softly. It was cute and hot at the same time, and you didn’t know how that was even possible, but he pulled it off effortlessly.

You resisted the urge to joke around with him—you weren’t in a position to kink shame. 

As he patted your head, you noticed something glistening on the floor next to you. A leash?

“What, are you gonna leash me up now?” you asked playfully, glancing up at him from your submissive position. 

“Well, yeah. I am.” His lips drew up into a devilish smirk as he retrieved the leash from beside you and hooked it on the collar around your neck. You had never done anything like this before, and you couldn’t deny it was kinda hot. You let out a small whimper as he tugged at the chain, testing your reaction. He wrapped his hand around the end of the leash a few times before yanking it gently, drawing you up to your feet. Even though it started as a joke, he was really getting into it, and you couldn’t lie, you were too. 

His finger dragged along the edge of the collar. “God, you look so good in this thing. Come to bed with me.” You wanted to, not that you really had a choice in the matter as he led you by the chain to his bed. 

He shoved you down forcefully onto your stomach, but you bounced back gently against the soft mattress. He slipped off your panties, bringing a finger down between your legs to sample your wetness. 

“Looks like I’m not the only one with a cat kink here,” he teased, pushing one finger inside. It slipped in effortlessly, and you let out a whine at the stimulation. He teased in and out with his finger torturously, twisting it inside you, every so often pushing against your clit to watch you squirm. 

You couldn’t take it anymore. “San, Jesus Christ, just fuck me.”

That was all he needed to hear. He pushed in slowly at first before bottoming out inside of you. He tugged your collar as he pulsed his dick inside you, tugging at your collar, causing you to let out a soft choked moan against the pressure. He grabbed your hips hungrily, pulling your hips back against him impatiently. 

He started to pick up the pace, thrusting rhythmically, one hand holding the leash and the other fisted in your hair. You were entirely overwhelmed in the best way possible. “Harder,” you urged, and his thrusts followed your orders. Your eyes rolled back in your head at the sensation of him inside you, and of course, the high you got from the collar choking around your neck. He pulled out of you and released himself on your lower back with heavy labored breaths. Your body gave out beneath you, causing you to collapse on the bed, waiting for him to bring back a cool cloth to clean you up with. 

After you both had collected yourselves, you flopped into the soft sheets of San’s bed. He sunk into the sheets next to you, and you rolled over to swing a tired arm around his chest.

“Well that was… memorable,” you giggled, and he laughed with you, still riding a high from your orgasm. 

“So I made a good impression?” he joked. 

You melted into his touch as he traced his fingers down your back. You nuzzled your head into the warm crook of his neck, finally starting to feel a bit drowsy from your wild night. 

“Yeah, you made a great one.”

[Sunday, 9pm]

The buzzer went off in the laser tag arena, signaling the start of the game. Everyone scattered, artificial gun sounds filling the room as you ducked for cover. Glowing barrels leaking “toxic waste” littered the dark room, and you dove behind one, dodging enemy fire with a nimble slide. 

Wooyoung spotted you as you poked your head over the top of the barrel, and he pursued you with a grin, weapon poised to shoot. Lasers discharged from his gun, aiming for the target at the center of your chest, and you squealed and scrambled away.

He chased you, running a full circle around the barricade, and you turned on your heels, shooting him square in the chest. Wooyoung gasped in mock-offense, and you ran away as he raised his gun again. He had insisted on playing for the opposing team so he could whoop your ass, but so far you were winning. 

You chased each other around like that for a while, giggling and shooting lasers at each other, ignoring the other players in favor of your own flirty warfare. He landed a particularly well-placed shot at your gun, and it made a sad little noise and died, lights flickering as it disabled. 

Wooyoung smirked, backing you into a corner, cut off from all the other players by an artificially dilapidated wall. 

“You’re weaponless,” he laughed, nodding his head toward your defunct toy gun. He pressed closer, causing your back to hit the wall, and he brought a hand up to it to cage you there. 

“Please, spare me!” you giggled, your faces just inches apart. Your heart began to beat faster as he leaned in, sliding his arm around your waist, pulling your body against his. 

“Not this time,” he said, and pressed your lips together. You dropped your gun, letting it fall to the carpet as you wrapped your hands around his shoulders, reciprocating the kiss. 

Wooyoung pressed you firmly against the wall, his tongue sliding against yours with a soft sigh. You got way too into it, completely forgetting where you were as the kiss grew more and more heated. His hands came down to squeeze your ass, pulling you even closer against his body, and you were about ready to fuck him right then and there before the buzzer went off once more, snapping you back to reality. 

You both pulled back, startled, then burst into laughter. As you caught your breath, you couldn’t help but stare. He had a beautiful smile, and a contagious laugh that had you doubled over for a second time. 

“We should probably go before they kick us out,” you said breathlessly, picking your gun up from the floor. 

“It was just getting good, too,” he pouted, pulling you in for another quick kiss before leading the way back to the gear room. 

You hung up your vests and put yours guns back, and you were grabbing your purse from the locker when you felt Wooyoung come up behind you. He slid his hands over your waist and leaned in close to your ear, his warm breath tickling your neck. You quickly looked around to see if anyone was around, but you were the last two there, since it had taken you the longest to return. 

“What’s my prize for winning?” he asked, his lips just barely brushing against your neck. 

“Oh, there was a prize?” you teased, and turned around to face him. He had mischief all over his face, and you kinda just wanted to pull him in and pick up where you left off in the arena. 

As if thinking the same thing, he leaned in, pressing your back against the lockers as he sealed your lips together.  The kiss was even more heated than before, and you let your hands wander over his shirt, across the plane of his chest, moving downward to give him a teasing squeeze to the front of his jeans. He groaned against your lips, pulling back just enough to give you a sly smile. 

“Just can’t wait, huh?”

“So what if I can’t?” you said against his lips, and he pressed you harder against the lockers. 

“Dirty, I like it. You want my dick that bad?” 

“Mm, maybe,” you laughed, and he captured your lips again, sliding his hands down to your hips. 

“Why does home have to be so far away,” he whined playfully. 

“I mean… they have a bathroom.” You were joking, but then again, were you?

“A bathroom?” he raised his eyebrows, surprised and also quite impressed at your suggestion. “What goes on in that little head of yours?”

“I guess you’ll see,” you said, grabbing his wrist, sliding out from underneath him to lead him into the single occupant bathroom down the hall. It was pretty late, and most of the employees were up front, so you were able to slip into the bathroom together without being seen. You flipped the lock, pushing Wooyoung against the heavy door as it slammed shut. 

You kissed him hard, palming the bulge forming in his jeans, reveling in the way he moaned against your lips. You were on a roll—two hot baristas in one weekend? You felt a little guilty agreeing to both dates at first, but who could blame you? 

The heart wanted what the heart wanted. Well, maybe not your heart so much...

You sank to your knees, maintaining eye contact as you worked his belt open and pulled down the zipper on his jeans, and he helped you slide his boxers down enough to let his dick spring free. 

You wrapped your hand around his length, jerking it a few times until he bit his lip and tipped his head back against the door. You were in the mood to tease him, for some reason, and it was working. You planted a tiny kiss to the head of his cock, and you heard him sigh above you. 

“Stop torturing me.” 

You giggled, giving the tip of his dick another small peck. Slowly, you wrapped your lips around it, giving the slit a little flick with your tongue, and he groaned in the back of his throat. You took more of it, letting it sink deeper into your mouth, curling your hand around what you couldn’t fit. 

You sucked hard, cheeks hollowing out as you bobbed your head, forming a steady rhythm as you began jerking him off as well. A particularly well-executed twisting motion had him cursing aloud, and you pulled back, a thin string of saliva connected to your lip. 

“Shh, quiet!” you stage-whispered up at him, grinning at the ridiculousness of the situation. 

“C’mere,” Woouoing said as he pulled you up, giving you a quick kiss before spinning you around. “Hands on the counter.” 

“But it’s wet,” you whined, grabbing a few paper towels from the dispenser to mop up the water. 

“Don’t be such a baby,” Wooyoung teased, flipping your skirt up to give you a sudden smack on the ass. You yelped, partially because of the smack, partially because your elbows were resting in a puddle of cold water. 

You watched him in the mirror as he massaged your ass, momentarily in his own world as he admired it. You wiggled your hips to pull him back to reality. 

He slid a hand between your legs, rubbing over the crotch of your panties, watching your face in the mirror as he added more pressure and started teasing circles over your clit with his fingers. You whined, breathy and needy, and you watched his face light up into a smirk in the mirror.

He slid your panties down, the thin fabric falling around your ankles. He pulled his wallet out of his jeans, retrieving a condom from between the bills. He ripped it open with his teeth, spitting the torn plastic onto the floor as he rolled the condom onto his cock. 

Wooyoung lined his cock up with your pussy, dragging it along your wet folds, and it slid in easily. You bit your lip as he slipped it in, pushing in slowly with a groan. He started off slow at first, then quickly picked up the pace, falling into a fast rhythm as he fucked you. 

You didn’t even care that the counter was wet anymore. You clawed at it with your fingernails, scratching against the sink as he fucked you harder, and it was becoming difficult to silence the cries that spilled from your mouth. 

“Fuck, harder,” you whined, and he obliged. The wet sound of his cock fucking into you echoed in the small, single-person bathroom, and you wondered if people could hear from outside. Not that you really cared at that moment. 

You were in heaven, not in a grimy public bathroom. At least, that’s what it felt like. His thrusts grew faster, and he slid a hand around your front to stroke his fingers over your clit. You had to slap a hand over your mouth to keep from crying out, and your other hand slipped forward and accidentally set off the automatic soap dispenser, depositing foam all over the back of your hand. 

“Fuck, shit,” you said, and you both started cracking up as you shook your hand, splattering foamy soap all over the mirror. 

Tears welled up in your eyes from laughing so hard, but it wasn’t long before your laughter turned to moans again as fucked you faster, giving a few broken thrusts as he finished, groaning as he buried his cock to the hilt. 

Wooyoung let his sweaty forehead fall against your back, panting out laughter as you wiped your soapy hand against his arm. 

“Someone definitely heard us,” he said, and you hummed in agreement. 

He pulled out, snapping the condom off and tying it up before slingshotting it into the trash can with impressive accuracy. You were busy using toilet paper to wipe down your crotch when a sudden knock on the door made you both freeze. 

Wooyoung mouthed oh shit! as you clamped a hand around your mouth to muffle your laughter. 

“Just a minute!” he called at the door, and you both cleaned up as fast as you could, bursting into a new round of laughter every time you made eye contact. 

Good thing you’d chosen to go with the adults only time slot for your laser tag date. 

In the days following your two dates, you still attended the coffee shop as regularly as you had before. You couldn’t seem to focus anywhere else. Things were relatively normal, but any time Wooyoung and San happened to be working together on the same day, you didn’t know how to speak to one without exposing yourself to the other, so you opted for no flirting at all, pretending instead to be too preoccupied with your studies. It was probably suspicious, how cold you acted to them when they were working together, but you didn’t want to seem like you were flirting with one and not the other.

It was Friday, and you were engaged in a particularly intense study session, and in your focused state, the time seemed to slip away without warning. You glanced up to realize the sun had set completely, meaning it’d soon be time for the cafe to close. It was just you, Wooyoung and San left in the cafe now, who were the only ones working the evening closing shift that night. You gathered up your things quickly, trying to leave without making much of a scene. You still felt awkward around the both of them when they were together, not knowing how to approach the delicate situation. 

As you were walking out the door, an arm came down and blocked your exit. 

“Don’t leave just yet.” It was San’s voice, and you turned to see him looking at you with a strange expression. You were the last one left in the store, so he was obviously addressing you. He kept his arm out to block your path. You looked at him in confusion. 

“So I was talking with Wooyoung, and both of us happened to hook up with a cute regular over the weekend. Turns out, it was the same one.”  

You shifted uncomfortably under his intense gaze, not knowing what to make of the awkward situation. Was he mad? You peeked up at him to gauge his expression, but to your surprise, he was smiling. “Oh, uh…” was all you could say. 

You glanced over your shoulder, and Wooyoung had sat down at one of the tables in the middle of the cafe, leaning nonchalantly back into his seat. 

“Come on, let’s have a chat,” San said, and for some reason his tone sent shivers down your spine. You swallowed, San’s hands on your shoulders spinning you around and guiding you to the table where Wooyoung was sitting. Neither of them seemed particularly upset, which made you even more confused on why they were confronting you about it in the first place. 

You sat down at one side of the table, and San joined, both of them facing you. You set your bag on the floor and placed your hands in your lap, feeling like you were in trouble. 

“Alright, spill. Who was better?” Wooyoung said bluntly. 

“Who was—huh?” you said, gaping at the unexpected question. 

Wooyoung threw San a glance, like there was an inside joke you were missing. “C’mon, we just wanna know. We have a bet going, so who was better?” 

“No way, I’m not answering that!” you laughed indignantly. San made a pouty face at you. 

“I think it was me,” Wooyoung said, crossing his arms. “I kicked your ass at laser tag and you loved it.”

“Hell no! Cat cafe totally wins,” San whined. 

“C’mon, you wish you’d thought of laser tag. Just admit it.” 

“Ok, fine, laser tag is pretty cool,” San sighed. “But you don’t have a cute dog like I do.” 

“I don’t need a cute dog, I’m already cute enough as it is,” Wooyoung said, making a cutesy gesture with his hands around his face at you. You and San both rolled your eyes. 

“Whatever you wanna tell yourself,” San said dryly, and Wooyoung gave him a playful shove. “Ok, laser tag or cat cafe?” he asked you seriously. 

“I can’t pick,” you said, which was the truth. They were both fun, how could you possibly pick the superior date?

“Making out in a laser tag arena or… cat hair up your nose. Tough choice.” Wooyoung pretended to seriously mull over the question. 

“Uh, how ‘bout… sexy kittycat with a leash, or disgusting public bathroom?” San shot back at him. 

“I’m not saying public bathrooms aren’t gross, but that’s why it’s hot,” Wooyoung shrugged, confident with his answer. 

You covered your face with your hands, mortified to be having this conversation. “Do we have to be having this discussion?” you groaned. 

“Yes!” they said in unison, like cartoon characters. 

“Which of us was the better lay?” Wooyoung demanded.

“Not telling!” you hmph’d, crossing your arms petulantly. 

“I put a dog collar on you, so obviously me,” San said, hitting the table like a lawyer who’d just won his case. 

“You did help San discover his furry kink—,” 

“I’ll kill you.”

“—But my dick is bigger.”

“No it isn’t!” 

They both looked at you expectantly, as if waiting for you to settle it. You made a gesture indicating that your lips were sealed. You wondered how long they planned on arguing for. 

“I think there’s only one way to settle this,” Wooyoung said matter-of-factly. 

What, were they about to whip their dicks out and measure them? 

“You fuck both of us.” Didn’t you do that already? “...Right now.” Oh. 

“Deal,” you said a little too quickly. You couldn’t choose anyway, so wasn’t it the perfect solution?

“Wow, fast answer,” San commented, and you blushed a little at his call-out. “Don’t forget, the bet is still on,” he called over his shoulder as he got up to lock the door and draw the blinds over the windows. 

“And I’m so winning it,” Wooyoung said as he scooped you up from your chair, carrying you honeymoon-style to the bar and depositing you onto the counter. San flipped a few of the lights off as he came back, keeping just enough of them on so that it wasn't completely dark. 

Wooyoung disappeared for a second, ducking down to retrieve something from the fridge underneath the counter. He popped back up with a canister of whipped cream, then threw his shirt over his head, tossing it behind him. He sprayed a line of whipped cream along his neck, tipping his chin up to give you the most access. He leaned in, caging you against the counter with his arms. He quirked an eyebrow, waiting for your move. 

You kissed along his neck, scooping up the whipped cream with your tongue and tasting the sugar on his skin. You licked it clean, and glanced up at San, who rolled his eyes and grabbed the can from Wooyoung’s hand. Not to be bested, he sprayed some directly into his mouth, maintaining eye contact with you as he did so. 

He leaned on the counter next to you, and you hooked a finger in the collar of his shirt and pulled him in, leaning over Wooyoung’s shoulder to kiss him. You slid your tongue into his mouth, lapping up the whipped cream as he smirked against your lips. 

Wooyoung scoffed as he kissed along your neck, pulling back to utter a brief but sarcastic “wooow.” His hands came up to feel underneath your shirt, pushing it up to your shoulders, ducking his head to pull your bra down with his teeth. He brought his mouth to your nipple, licking and sucking on it, and you moaned against San’s lips. His thumb traced circles along your skin, and you wanted more. 

San moved a hand between your legs, giving your thigh a quick squeeze before dipping under your skirt and brushing his fingers over the crotch of your panties. He used just enough pressure to have you squirming, determined to be the one to make you moan. You felt like the luckiest girl alive, having these two hot baristas competing over you. 

San slid your panties off, dropping them to the floor. He teased his thumb over your clit, and you arched your back, threading your fingers into Wooyoung’s hair. He gave a soft moan against your breast, then raised his head, stealing you from San as he locked you in a heated kiss. 

You felt the press of San’s fingers as he slipped them inside you, dragging them in and out as you moaned into Wooyoung’s mouth. You raised your arms so Wooyoung could take your shirt off, and he worked on your bra next. San’s fingers moved faster as Wooyoung brushed your nipples with his thumbs, and you had no idea who was winning at this point. 

You tipped your head back, moaning loudly as San fucked you with his fingers, and Wooyoung sucked along the curve of your neck, teeth scraping along the sensitive skin. Suddenly, Wooyoung brought a hand up to your face, brushing his fingers along your lips, and you opened them, letting him dip two fingers into your mouth. You sucked, letting your tongue drag between them, and both of them watched you hungrily, eyes full of desire. 

“Alright, how ‘bout this?” Wooyoung said, pulling back. You looked at him in confusion, and San slipped his fingers out to see what he was about to do. Wooyoung worked his belt open, sliding his pants down enough to free his dick. It sprang free, and he grabbed the canister again, spraying whipped cream in a line along his cock. 

“Gross,” San muttered to himself as you hopped off the counter, getting on your knees in front of Wooyoung. 

You gave the tip of his dick a tiny lick, laughing as a little puff of whipped cream stuck to your nose. He wiped it off with his finger, then licked it off with a smirk. You dragged your tongue along his cock, kissing and sucking off the whipped cream as you worked your way down the shaft. He gave a satisfied moan, petting your hair as you licked it clean. 

"Let's take this to the couch," Wooyoung said, and San agreed with a nod. 

San guided you to a small carpeted area with a couch and a few chairs, draping you over the arm of the couch as he slid beneath you, grabbing your hips and lining you up with his mouth. He took a few tentative licks. “Mm, you taste so good,” he moaned against you. 

Wooyoung moved in front of you, and you took him in your mouth eagerly, twisting the base of his dick with your hands as you sucked. He let out a few pleasured groans, signaling that he wanted more. 

Pleasure swelled inside of you as San began circling your clit with his tongue. You moaned around Wooyoung’s cock, sending vibrations up the shaft that had him biting his lip. You let your tongue circle the head of his cock, distracted by San as he upped the intensity. 

Soon enough you were grinding against his face, leaning your head against Wooyoung’s hip as you jerked him off, moaning as San slid his fingers into you once again. 

You brought the tip of Wooyoung’s cock back into your mouth, bobbing your head over his length. You pulled off as you felt your climax growing, Wooyoung’s hand stroking your hair as you rode San’s face. San sucked hard on your clit as he fucked you with his fingers, and you cried out as you came, bucking your hips against his face involuntarily. 

San kissed all the way down your inner thigh as he slid out from under you, a subtle smirk on his face that indicated he thought he was winning so far. You caught your breath, moving to the center of the couch to make room for the guys. San swiveled to face you, his cock in front of your face as Wooyoung’s hands found their way to your ass. 

You repositioned yourself to all fours, waiting expectantly to feel Wooyoung’s cock push into you. In front of you, San tipped your chin up to meet his gaze, his lips pulling into a sinister smirk. He pushed his thumb against your lip, dragging it down slightly, then hooked two fingers in your mouth, pulling it open to accept his eager cock. 

As if they had conspired, Wooyoung slid the tip of his dick inside of you at the same time that San pushed his against your lips. Your head rushed with bliss at the sudden overwhelming sensation of being taken from both ends. You moaned deeply, sending vibrations against San’s dick as Wooyoung pushed fully into you.

“Look at me,” San cooed, resting one hand under your chin, the other wrapped tightly in your hair. You lifted your gaze up, maintaining eye contact with him as he gently rocked against the roof of your mouth. “Good girl.” You heard Wooyoung scoff as San sang your praises. They fought for your attention as San maintained eye contact, but Wooyoung’s thrusts behind you had you seeing stars. Wooyoung’s hands clamped your ass, digging his nails in as he squeezed, delivering a harsh slap to your ass. They seemed to be enjoying themselves as much as you were—you could tell from their moans harmonizing beautifully as they shared you, and your mind short-circuited trying to focus just on one or the other. 

“That’s a good girl… just like that, princess,” San purred, holding your chin as you sucked and licked at his dick enthusiastically.

“Can you shut up,” Wooyoung groaned, making a fake gagging noise. “I don’t wanna hear your voice right now.”

San smirked in amusement as he continued sliding in and out of your mouth. You wondered how much fun he must be having making Wooyoung gag like that. 

You pressed your tongue firmly on San’s shaft as you sucked, and he bit his lip, holding back stifled moans. Behind you, Wooyoung’s thrusts grew more aggressive as he sunk his nails into your ass. “Fuck,” Wooyoung grunted, giving one final thrust before pulling out hastily, cursing as he finished. Warm liquid dripped slowly down the curve of your back as you turned your attention back to San, who was nearing his tipping point. You focused all your efforts on his dick, sucking mercilessly until he couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled out, painting your face with hot streaks of cum. You stuck your tongue out to catch some, and the rest dribbled down your cheeks and chin. He smiled, petting your hair softly. 

“What a good kitty, lapping up my milk,” he said, making direct eye-contact with Wooyoung, who immediately gagged. 

“Are you trying to make me sick right now? If I hadn’t cum already my boner would be dead.” San laughed, cherishing Wooyoung’s disgust. “Just having a little fun. I know how to show my girl a good time.”

“My girl,” Wooyoung corrected.

You took pleasure in listening to them fight over you. You knew they were going to ask you who was better, but you really couldn’t decide in this moment. You honestly kind of wanted both. But right now you were more worried about the sticky liquid threatening to drip on the cafe’s couch.

“Guys, stop. Can someone get me a towel or something?” you asked. Hearing your voice, they both stopped bickering and trained their eyes on you, eyes growing wide as they realized you were still draped over the arm of the couch, cum dripping slowly down your sides. 

“Shit! Sorry,” Wooyoung said as he scrambled to locate the nearest towel. Wooyoung got you cleaned up, and you all searched for your haphazardly discarded clothing scattered around the cafe.

“Pretty sure that violated like, every food safety rule,” San joked as he buttoned his shirt back up. 

“Yikes, you’re right. Maybe we should throw that whipped cream away,” Wooyoung said, pretending to cringe. You laughed, shuddering at the idea of them using it for people’s drinks after such… unprofessional activities.  Wooyoung came and stood next to you, crossing his arms. “So, who won?”

[vaerilthreshar]

Fake Dating/Engagement AU

“No, mother, I swear. I’ll bring him, I promise,” Vaeril tries to soothe the older woman as he sat at his desk, phone shouldered against his ear, but he’s distracted as he speaks, fingers danced across his keyboard as he desperately tried to find someone his mother liked enough just to leave the man alone for a little bit longer. He had been lying for a while that he was seeing someone, but he was too focused on work, too focused on the work of other folk around him to even think about stepping a toe in to the dating pool. Not in this era at least. The people his parents tried hooking him up with never lasted, he always found something wrong with them that he just couldn’t get over.

So here he sat, in a silky navy robe, scrolling through ever friend that could ever possibly ever owe him a favor that his parents never met. Which, while it was a rather large assortment of people from all walks of life, as his parents lived hours away, there were few names that he even thought would give him a second to describe his situation before slamming the proverbial door in his face.

A green dot signals that Randy is online.  A friend that he had met through one of the suppliers at the club. “I love you too, mother, I’ll see you soon,” she muttered something but he had already ended the call. “How do I ask,” he questions, tongue pressed between his teeth.

“Hey crazy question-” no, delete. “Are you-” no, delete. “I have a fa-” No. Delete. Delete.  Vaeril stands and saunters over to the bar where he heavily handed pours himself a drink before moving back to perch at the desk. A car perks his head up from behind the monitor but sees nothing changes as his head gets patted in soothing motions. “Time to do it, I suppose, Walter.” The white cat lets out a mewing yawn, as if he approves.

“A thousand dollars if you spend the weekend with my parents and I in the Hamptons and pretend you’re my partner. An extra thousand if you pretend to get in a big relationship breaking fight before we leave.. I await your reply.  Xoxo, V.  Threshar.”

Quick, succinct. He doesn’t hope and wonders that perhaps it wasn’t enough, or maybe he should ask at work, he’s sure someone knows a struggling actor who wouldn’t mind the money. But he doesn’t have to wonder, Randy sent a quick reply, “As long as dinner is steak and lobster.” Which causes Vaeril to grin and type out a reply of, “As if it would be anything but.” with a winky face. He deletes it at first but a second later follows his initial reply with the emoji.

----

Vaeril drove most of the way as they hashed out their story. They’d been seeing each other just under 6 months but it was love at first sight. It was a blind date from someone at the club so he was unsure at first but had never fallen so quickly. Things felt natural with the other, they agreed. Vaeril wanted Randy to take his last name. They had a cat and some succulents instead of children together. They both agreed that they were past that part of their lives, and Randy did have a few children from romantic entanglements with women. As much as Vaeril wanted to give his parents grandchildren, it was too far gone. He was nearly 40, he was not going to be like Elton John and settle down with children when his back started to hurt.

The cabin came in to view and his chest hurt, he didn’t want to disappoint his parents and Randy reached over and squeezed his hand, telling him, “It’s okay, babe. We got this.” It was a start. His parents met them at the door, a hand claps on Randy’s shoulder from Vaeril’s father, and he gets encompassed in a hug by his mother. “You’re so handsome!” she coos, “Much better than I expected. And so rugged too,” she notes as she strokes his beard. Vaeril clears his throat and she drops a hand with a laugh, “Mother, father, this is Randy.”

They get swept up inside. It’s the first of 3 days, they won’t have their blow up tonight, no. They go out to eat, they keep the act up all day. His mother talks about wedding plans. Randy says he just wants to run off and get married, but Vaeril wants a big party. His mother says that sounds like him so he orders another drink. His father asks about football and he drowns out the rest of the conversation.

They share a bed. To keep up appearances. Vaeril warned him that his mother has no shame and would bust open the door for breakfast and he did. The pair was curled up under sheets, barely touching but Vaeril sits up, hair mussed as his mother mentions coffee and his stomach grumbles. His mother moves to smooth hair down but before she can react it’s Randy sitting up, and his hand in Vaeril’s hair before the man can even think.

Breakfast is the only  food his mother will ever make, his father says it’s the only food she ever mastered. They all sit at the table, in robes and still half asleep, as his mother- who will forever be a morning person, pours coffee and asks how they like their eggs. She knows Vaeril’s order. Whole grain toast with poached eggs and two slices of  bacon. One cream, two sugars. But she stares expectantly at Randy, who says black coffee is perfect, and he’s not a fan of runny yolks so he’ll take his as an omlette if that’s alright with her. She doesn’t complain, everyone has their tastes.

His father is reading the newspaper on his tablet, or checking up on emails, which his wife told him not to do time and time again but he doesn’t listen.

They spend the day on the slopes. Vaeril told his parents that Randy hadn’t skied before, but it was still fun. They ate out again. Steak and lobster, baby red potatoes, dark red wine. Randy and Vaeril shared a piece of cheesecake. One more night. They laid the seeds of turmoil that night and his parents heard a heated discussion about people that an outsider would assume was about them, when they were just relaying the plot to a popular movie, but made it to suit their lives. Vaeril yells about a beard, Randy just says he’s jealous that his doesn’t grow as thick.. His mother started to worry that night.

At breakfast, she spoke of weddings again. Which house they were going to move in to, whose last name would they take. Randy says, “He wants me to take his last name but I don’t want to.” Over his coffee, Vaeril mutters, “Darling, who hyphenates their last names? I refuse, I won’t be that person.” There’s a huff, “That person? What does that mean? You think you’re so much better than the rest of us.”

Vaeril’s lips pursed together and he raises a brow, “I don’t think. I know. Do you think I want to spell out both our last names for the rest of my life? You’re dreadfully misinformed. You’re taking my name, end of story. That name will open a lot of doors for you, my love, and having them both would shut them before it even starts.”

He has to hide his grin over his coffee. Randy sparks, “It’s always about you, isn’t it?” He storms off to their room, yells nonsensical things as he throws clothing around the room, and stomps back out to slam a simple silver band on the table causing their drinks to spill slightly. “You can find someone else then. I’m going home.” Vaeril tells him they took his car, and that he’s going to have to find his own way home and to make sure he gives him his copy of the key.

Randy grabs his bag and makes his way into the city, to a small diner they agreed to meet in. He slams the door on his way out.

Vaeril’s mother sobs, but he just stares off out the window, red in the cheeks. He leaves an hour later and picks Randy up. Vaeril pays him his dues and they laugh during the drive home. He feels bad, but he hopes that means he has a few months to ‘mourn’ his lost relationship before his mother starts hounding him again.

[popatochisssp]

Fur a Good Time, Call... 11/15

Series: Undertale, Horrortale Relationship(s): HT!Sans/Reader, HT!Papyrus & Reader, HT!Sans & HT!Papyrus Chapter Warnings: mild dissociative episode

You work at an animal shelter. You love all your fuzzy buddies and can’t imagine a better job for yourself than looking after cats and dogs all day, even when the work is hard and often gross. What can you say? You’ve got a lot of love to give!

You’re just not quite sure yet how you feel about the new monster who’s been helping out these days, and this riddle wrapped up in an enigma is something you just can’t resist investigating…

AO3 Link

Stumble

Ahh, the best and worst part of your job.

“Careful, sweetheart,” you chuckle, “Princess is a big girl and she’s really excited, so don’t let go, okay?”

“Okay, I won’t,” Andrea assured you, holding tight to the leash with her little hand.

It was a truly adorable sight to see, the bright-eyed little girl with a million-watt smile and curly, grade-school pigtails hugging the neck of a dog twice her size.

You weren’t worried about the size difference.

Princess had been with you for a year and you (almost) couldn’t think of a sweeter, gentler dog, no matter how loud her whiny barks were or how ‘mean’ she looked.

Somebody had finally come in who agreed: Andrea latched onto the pit bull within minutes of walking into the shelter and absolutely insisted she was the one—they could both be princesses, together!

Your heart may have melted, just a teeny tiny bit, when she’d said that, and since her mother was now up at the front desk with you filling out the adoption form, you think you’re not the only one.

Delilah dutifully jots down her information with her neatly manicured hand. The sharply dressed lady had honestly intimidated you a little at first, but when she had smiled down at her daughter and explained that they’d come in to find Andrea’s first doggy, your nerves had settled.

“This’ll be good for her,” she says to you, almost absently. “She’s been wanting a friend.”

“Princess, too,” you agree. “I bet they’ll be besties in a week.”

Delilah chuckles. “Aren’t they already?”

Looking at the two of them now—the hugs and face-licks and the tappa-tappa-tappa of excited claws on the tile—you figure she’s probably right on the money.

Watching the slightly bigger family walk out of the shelter, you barely even feel the pang of missing Princess, knowing she’s going off to a great home and a great life.

…But the pang is still there.

You pull out your phone and quickly send off a text, hoping to alleviate the feeling.

You: Hey, I miss our son, send me a pic.

Sans doesn’t keep you waiting for long.

PUNbelievable: [IMG-54]

The picture makes you smile.

Buddy’s handsome face takes up your screen, his blue eyes wide and sad-looking.

He only ever makes that face when he’s angling for food and trying to look extra cute. It has an embarrassing success rate with you, and you’ve caught Sans giving in more than once, so you know it’s not something Buddy’s going to stop doing anytime soon.

The longer you look at the picture, though, the more you realize…

You’ve seen it before

That’s kinda surprising. Sans almost always sends you new ones, candids of whatever your boy happened to be doing at the time you asked.

Then again…

You: Can’t even be bothered to go find the dog on your day off?

Sans got a lot of days off since he wasn’t…y’know, actually employed. He always seemed to use them well, though, for sleeping in or watching a ton of TV.

Naturally, you weren’t about to judge. That was pretty much how you spent your days off on the…very, very rare occasion you took them.

You made sure to tack a winky face onto your text, just in case Sans thought you were mad at him or something.

PUNbelievable: nah sleeping

PUNbelievable: sorry

You smile and add a kissy face to your reply.

You: Don’t let me keep you from your important business! See you later!

PUNbelievable: k

You put your phone away and get back to work.

You’re not sure why you feel weird about it.

-

You still feel weird almost an hour later.

You’ve been granted the great privilege of socializing (read: playing with) a whole litter of kittens while their formerly stray, now spayed mom watches you cautiously. You’re literally covered in adorable, fluffy babies who leap and chirp and fall all over themselves when you shake feathery toys for them and it’s cute beyond words, it really is!

But…you’re distracted.

“I’m being dumb, aren’t I?” you ask the poofy little angel perched on your knee.

He looks at you with his big beautiful eyes and mews, long and high-pitched.

You sigh. “Yeah, I’m being dumb.”

You knew you were.

It was only a text: tone was notoriously impossible to read through text, so getting bent out of shape over one was just…unnecessary.

“Sans just texts like that sometimes,” you told the kitten. “It doesn’t mean anything’s wrong.”

The kitten doesn’t even look up this time, busy kneading at your leg with his sharp little claws, but you think you’re reassuring yourself a little.

Sans does just sort of…text that way sometimes. No punctuation, short words, clipped answers, you’ve gotten it from him before.

Maybe not…since you started dating…but it wasn’t like it was some new thing, either.

It was hardly some sort of sign that Sans was annoyed at you or…or suddenly disinterested or something.

The very thought made you laugh a little.

As much as you still didn’t quite understand what Sans liked about you, he’d made it pretty clear by now that he did like you, kind of a lot. The hugs and cuddles and nuzzles you exchanged near-constantly were proof of that.

You felt the same way about him, and even though you were now keenly feeling your skeleton’s absence, you also felt a little better.

“He’s just sleeping in,” you decide. “I’ll text him again later when he’s actually awake.”

You shift, moving the hand that’s holding the cat toy and about six kittens try to pounce on it at once. Every single one of them misses, colliding with each other in a flurry of protesting peeps and wiggles.

Stars, now this is what you’re supposed to be focusing on!

You get your phone back out and start recording the play session. Best case scenario, you’ve got something ultra-cute to put up on the shelter’s website, and worst case scenario, you’ve got something fun to send to your two favorite skeletons later.

Only a minute and a half of video ends up being taken. You stop the recording when another text pops up on your screen.

PUNbelievable: i lied

You’re frowning, sitting up so fast that you actually topple a kitten over and it mews at you plaintively.

You scoop it back up and instinctively apologize to it, and by the time you look back, you have another message…and another, and another.

PUNbelievable: not sleeping, bad day

PUNbelievable: didn’t want you to worry

PUNbelievable: shouldn’t lie though

PUNbelievable: sorry

…So…you weren’t being dumb.

You’re not sure if that makes you feel better or worse.

You: Are you okay?

PUNbelievable: sure

Well, that’s not a very comforting answer.

You’re actually a little startled by how powerful the sudden urge to drop everything and go find Sans is.

It makes you feel kinda silly again. He’s your boyfriend, but he’s a grown skeleton, it’s not like you need to check up on him…

…but you want to.

You want to go check on him and make sure he’s okay, even if you don’t need to.

It’s what Sans would do if you were the one having a bad day.

That’s probably why, in spite of the fact that you have about a dozen other actually work-related things you could be doing right now, you herd the kittens and their mom back to where they belong and go looking for your manager.

You find her in the back, doing paperwork that looks like payroll. She greets you, which you return a little hesitantly.

Don’t pussyfoot, you scold yourself.

The thought only reminds you how much you want to be with Sans right now: you’re still covered in cat hair and a joke about that would’ve killed.

“Hey, uh…I was wondering if it’d cause any problems if I left a little early today. Like…like a half-day?”

Your manager frowns, looking concerned. “Is everything alright?”

“Oh, no, yeah, it’s…everything’s fine,” you’re quick to assure her. “I just…there was something kind of personal that I wanted to…check on.” The excuse sounded even lamer out loud than it did in your head, and you resist the urge to wince. “It’s not an emergency, I can stay if you need me, it’s not—”

“Would this be a skeleton sort of ‘personal’?”

You freeze like a deer in the headlights at the sly look on her face.

“Uh…I…it might be…?”

Your relationship with Sans wasn’t a secret, but you hadn’t exactly advertised it either.

Or…maybe you had?

The two of you were still new and you could get kinda…kissy. You were under no illusion that that was anything even remotely approaching subtle.

But it’s also just now occurring to you that you never looked up any rules in regards to workplace romances. You weren’t exactly coworkers, Sans was just a really dedicated volunteer, but that was such a technicality.

Were either of you in trouble…?

Your manager laughs in your face. “Oh god, you look so nervous! Relax, you’re fine.”

……Phew.

“I knew you two would work well together,” she says. “I can’t say I knew you’d work that well together, but I’m not surprised either. You’re a good fit.”

Oh. This is awkward.

You feel your face heat and almost wish you were in trouble.

“Thanks,” you say curtly, eyes glued to the floor.

Your manager seems perfectly aware of your embarrassment and smiles indulgently. “Look, you do a lot of good work around here and that hasn’t changed, bony boyfriend or no. We all appreciate it, but you’re allowed to do things for yourself sometimes, too.”

You look up a little hopefully. “So…?”

“You’ve still got a ridiculous amount of paid time racked up and we’ll survive around here for half a day without you. Go smooch a skeleton. Next time you want to play hooky, though,” she adds, “let me know a little sooner?”

“Right. I will. Yes.” You turn to leave, almost forgetting to say, “Thanks!”

If she says something in reply, you don’t hear it.

You’ve got Sans on the brain and you aren’t going to feel right until you see him.

-

The brothers’ house is quiet when you get there and let yourself in.

You know Papyrus’ routine these days almost as well as you know your own, and you know he’s got a full class schedule today without much time in between. He isn’t home and won’t be until pretty late, but Sans and Buddy are here.

Or they should be, anyway. You don’t get an answer from either when you announce yourself and a quick peek into the backyard shows it’s empty, so you head upstairs.

Buddy’s fluffy black and white head lifts from the floor as soon as you reach the top, his ears perked and his tail slowly wagging at the sight of you.

“Hey, there you are, Buddy.”

His tail wags faster. You notice he’s laying down right in front of a door and think you have your answer about where Sans is.

“You want in?” you ask, walking over. “You wanna see Sans with me?”

Buddy springs to his feet, looking up at the round doorknob—an impassable barrier to his pawed self.

Well, what was the point of opposable thumbs if not to let dogs into rooms?

You turn the knob and no sooner is the door open than Buddy’s scampering inside, taking a running leap up onto Sans’ bed.

Sans is there, too, placidly sitting on the edge of the mattress and you smile to finally be able to see him for yourself.

You hope you’re not being clingy or weird coming over unannounced like this.

You just…really wanted to see him.

He looks alright, at least physically. He’s not really dressed, just wearing a black pair of sweatpants that must be his pajamas, but he doesn’t seem particularly bashful as he looks over at you.

He doesn’t seem particularly…anything at all, actually.

Even as Buddy sniffs along his spine in dog-greeting and lays down behind him, Sans’ skull is entirely blank of expression and that…doesn’t sit well with you.

“Hey, babe,” you say gently, in human-greeting. “How’re you doing?”

“…bad. why are you here?”

You think normally, that frank of an answer might’ve hurt your feelings. But you’ve heard this distant tone in Sans’ voice before.

“I took a half-day. Wanted to see you,” you admit with a sheepish grin.

You’re not sure what kind of reaction you expect Sans to give you from that, but you think you must’ve expected something because you’re surprised when you get absolutely nothing.

Sans just…stares at you, his red eye-light tracking you, but even that looks flat somehow.

Empty.

You definitely know what this is now.

That time before…when Sans told you everything…he was like this then, too, all spaced out and distant. Back then, you’d only been his friend and had no idea what to do to help him. This time…

Well, you still had no idea what to do, but now you were his datemate. You were confident that it was your place to help if you could…even if you were still just going to be winging it.

You come a little closer, asking, “Can I sit?”

“……sure.”

You sit down next to him. You try for a close yet respectable distance, but almost immediately slide right up against him thanks to the dip his weight causes in the mattress.

Sans may be all bones, but they’re big bones, with considerable heft.

It’s a fact you’re very aware of with most of those bones on display right now, pressing up against your side.

You don’t let it distract you.

Sans seems okay with touch so you reach out, settling your hand on his femur.

“I gotta say, it was kind of a relief to cut out early today,” you tell him. “It was just an overload of cute in there, all day, it was relentless.”

You tell Sans about your day, the saga of Princess and Andrea, and then being swarmed by a ferocious gang of fluffy kittens.

You don’t really expect Sans to interject or respond to you, and he doesn’t beyond the occasional grunt or huff, but he does angle his skull towards you and just sort of…watch you talk.

Whether he’s actually processing or retaining the words you’re saying, you have no idea, but you also don’t think it matters if he is—as long as he’s hearing you and knows you’re with him, you think that’s probably a good thing.

You also think of the other times Sans has texted you, ‘sounding’ weird but with totally believable excuses about why he wasn’t at the shelter that day when he should’ve been, or what he was doing on his day off.

You wonder how many of those times he was actually having an episode like this one and just went it alone.

He let you in this time, though.

You’re so proud of him for that, and so happy that you can be here for him.

“…Oh, jeez, and uh, heads up, Big Boss definitely knows about us.” You pick up Sans’ hand, holding it in yours to convey your meaning. “I got a really awkwardly maternal…pep talk? I think? Out of it, so I guess we’re fine.”

“mmm.”

“She said to go give you a smooch, actually, but…” You wrinkle your nose. “I think our smooching should be on our terms. I’m gonna kiss you when I want to kiss you, not when our boss tells me to.”

You look up at him. He’s still watching you, still blank, but also…still your very handsome skeleton beau.

“My impulse-control is garbage,” you admit, stretching up towards him. “This isn’t from her, okay?”

“okay,” he says flatly, and you smile.

You press your lips to his cheekbone and turn to nuzzle his face a little for good measure.

He doesn’t return it the way he usually does, but he doesn’t push you away either, and when you settle back down by his side, he moves his arm a little so you can get closer.

You feel like a pretty good datemate right about now.

Somewhere outside, a car alarm goes off.

Sans flinches hard at the noise and even when the car’s owner quickly puts a stop to it, he still looks…pained.

“Sans? Are you okay?”

Beyond the obvious not-okay-ness, you mean.

“…………headache,” he mutters eventually.

You have no idea what a headache feels like with a giant hole in your skull. You’re a little afraid to imagine it, actually.

“Aw, how long, baby?” you ask. “All day?”

Sans shrugs, which you take to mean ‘yeah, more or less,’ and you frown.

“Did you take anything for it?”

“……mmn.”

That was a ‘no.’

“Have you left this room at all? Gotten food?”

“…………”

“Sans?” you prompt.

“…no.”

You push yourself up off the bed.

“Okay, well, that’s not gonna fly,” you decide. “I’ll go get you something. Stay here. …Both of you,” you add as an afterthought, pointing at Buddy.

He’s about as settled onto the mattress as a dog can be, so he just looks at you as if to say, ‘who, me?’

“Yes, good boy.” You plant another quick kiss to Sans’ skull, gentle as can be. “You, too.”

And with that, you leave the room.

You feel a little bad about rummaging around in the brothers’ medicine cabinet. You try not to take any particular note of any bone colognes, bleaches, or anti-anxieties and zero in on a monster-friendly aspirin bottle.

A quick skim of the label says it’s best taken with food, so you pop the bottle in your pocket for now and head down to the kitchen to see what you can make quickly with your minimal amount of skill.

On the way, you shoot Papyrus a quick text asking him to call you if he can, noting that it’s only mildly urgent so he doesn’t worry too much if he can’t. You feel…pretty in control of the situation right now, but you also think you’d feel better if you could at least let Pap know about it.

Sans was your boyfriend, but he was Papyrus’ brother and this…whatever this was, probably deserved at least a call.

Their pantry is well-stocked, as always, but pretty much everything in it has more cooking directions on the packaging than you’re confident with. You switch to the fridge, and find tons of leftovers in tupperware—which is pretty much exactly your culinary speed.

You fish out something that looks and smells like stew and almost just nuke it in the microwave…but you decide to use the stove instead. Wasn’t it supposed to distribute the heat more evenly…or something?

Ugh, more adulting I never learned all the way…

In any case, pouring the soup into a little pot and stirring it on the stovetop made you feel more like you were doing something; being useful.

Until you’ve got someone who can actually talk back to you, you have to take the validation where it comes.

You bless the universe itself for Papyrus because nearly the second you think it, your phone starts to buzz.

You answer it without taking your eye off the stove. “Hello?”

“Hello, Dear Friend!” he exclaims, sounding only a tad frazzled. You hear people shuffling about and talking in the background and think he’s probably in a hallway. “I Have A Brief Lull And I Wanted To Make Sure Nothing Was On Fire. …Or If It Is, That The Proper Response Teams Are Called To The Correct Places!”

“No, no, nothing’s on fire,” you promise, “metaphorically or otherwise.”

“Oh, Good, Metaphorical Fires Are The Worst. Second Only To Philosophical Fires, What Do Those Even Burn, Anyway?”

You have no idea and you tell him as much, “…but listen, I’m at your place. I took the day off ‘cause Sans is…”

Stars, how would you even describe what Sans is right now? ‘Spaced out’ is too light of a description, ‘not himself’ is uselessly vague and slightly ominous…

There’s probably an actual term out there somewhere for this, but you don’t know it, and it’s not as if Sans could really go get properly diagnosed or treated for it.

Luckily for you, this is apparently not Papyrus’ first rodeo, either.

“Ah. He’s Having A Bad Day?”

That was certainly one way to describe it. “You don’t sound too surprised,” you note.

Papyrus sighs. “Sadly, No. These Things Happen. Sans…Goes Away Sometimes. There’s Really Not Much To Do About It, But He’ll Be Back Eventually.”

“That’s…a little reassuring, I guess.” You frown, remembering the last time you saw Sans…‘go away’ like this, and what he was like when he ‘came back.’ “Is…I mean, should I be worried about…after? The last time this happened, uh…I’m pretty sure a panic attack was involved, that’s not…is that normal for one of these?”

“Definitely Not,” Papyrus said firmly. “That Was Probably Triggered By Something Else.”

Like Sans believing for a second that he’d broken your neck? That would likely do the trick.

“Attacks Aren’t Very Common For Sans, In General, I Wouldn’t Worry Too Much About It.”

“Okay. Thank you, Pap, I’ll do my best over here.” Like hell you’d give Sans anything less! “Oh, but hey, I mean…is there anything I…maybe shouldbe doing that I’m not?”

“Well, That Raises The Question Of What You Are Doing, Doesn’t It?”

“Uh…well, mostly so far I’m just…talking to him…touching him a little, like on the arm and stuff. I got it out of him that he had a headache and hadn’t eaten yet, so I’m…I’m heating up some leftover stew and I got some aspirin to go with it. Is that…is that enough?”

You hear Papyrus laugh over the phone, a soft little ‘Nyeh-Heh-Heh.’

“I Don’t Know Why You’re Worried,” he says. “You’re Doing Everything Right. I Have To Go But Clearly, Sans Is In Very Good Hands. I Believe In You, Human! And Continue To Keep The Fires To A Minimum If You Can!”

“Haha, yeah, okay, no problem, Pap. Go learn some more stuff, I’ll see you later.”

Papyrus is truly the monster embodiment of sunshine…or maybe an energy shot.

You get off the phone feeling re-motivated and ready to take on anything!

You finish with the stew, get it in a bowl, and head back upstairs to Sans’ room where two pairs of eyes are on you the second you open the door.

Well…Buddy’s pair, and one magic red light in an eye-socket.

“Found some stew,” you announce, bringing it in. “Or maybe soup? Is there a difference?”

Your answer is, of course, blank stares.

“Yeah, I have no clue either.”

Setting the bowl on the nightstand for a moment, you fiddle with the aspirin bottle and hand a couple tablets to Sans, who takes them even before you ask him to.

You’re starting to remember from last time how weirdly compliant these…episodes? made him act. You still don’t think you like it, but at least it makes taking care of him a little easier.

Sans takes the bowl when you pass that to him, too, and only spends a moment looking at you before starting to eat it.

Satisfied, you plop back down on the bed beside him, reaching back to give the dog a pat for not being too much of a food-hound right now.

You loved dogs, they were such incredible animals. They could be smart enough to read a room and decide the right time to beg for scraps and at the same time, be dumb enough to get stuck in a couch or bark at their own reflection.

Amazing.

A spoon in your face startles you out of your musings.

You blink at it, too surprised to process it for a second, before turning to look up at Sans. The look on his skull, completely devoid of any of the emotional cues you were used to, was absolutely no help but there weren’t many ways to interpret food being held in front of your face.

He wanted you to have a bite, too.

You smile, feeling warm all over, and accept it—you hadn’t had lunch and you were definitely a little peckish.

It was easier not to think about it when you had Something Important to do, but you’d brought Sans his medicine and his food and with your tasks completed, that rich broth smelled far too tempting to turn down entirely.

Over the course of the bowl, you accept another two or three bites, but turn down the rest.

“No, baby, I’m fine, you finish it,” you say to the last one, patting Sans on the arm. “I at least had breakfast this morning.”

Sans doesn’t react to your teasingly chiding tone, but he does finish the stew without protest and lets you take the bowl when he’s done.

“I’ll take care of the dishes real quick,” you say, giving him another kiss on the cheek as you go. “Don’t want Papyrus pitching a fit over a messy sink.”

Papyrus probably wouldn’t be too terribly upset if you just left the dirty dishes in the sink to soak. He’d probably also immediately go wash them himself in spite of his gruelingly long day of classes, which didn’t seem fair to you at all. Better if you just take care of it now and then nobody has to worry about it later.

Besides, what else were you doing? It was your day off!

You keep that thought in your mind when you finish washing dishes and come back to Sans.

“Hey,” you say to Buddy, pointing to the floor. “Down, off the bed, down.”

Buddy, knowing at least one of those words, takes his sweet time stretching and shaking off a little before hopping down onto the floor.

More room for you.

You close the window curtain against the midday sun, kick off your shoes and get on the bed, pulling at Sans like you could somehow budge him if he didn’t want to go. “Come on,” you coax, “lay down with me.”

Sans does without question and you arrange the pillows and blanket to your liking before snuggling up next to him.

“I’m gonna take a nap,” you tell him. “Wake me up if you need anything, okay?”

“……okay.”

You’ve got the day off and Sans is taken care of, and while this isn’t exactly the circumstances you’d imagined for your first time sharing a bed with your boyfriend, you’re not going to waste the opportunity to relax and enjoy not being at work.

Sans is like a skeleton space-heater beside you and you doze off to the thought of all the nuzzles you’re going to give him when he comes back to you.

-

You wake up…not quite sure where you are.

There’s something soft and plush underneath you and a big hand stroking so gently and pleasantly over your head that you almost don’t want to open your eyes.

You do anyway.

The hand stills as you look up into Sans’ grinning skull from your new place atop his chest.

“hey,” he says.

You couldn’t explain in a million years how, but from just that one word, you know.

You’ve got your Sans back.

“Hey yourself,” you mumble in a rasp, pushing yourself up a little.

You wake up faster when you feel the strange give beneath your hands where there should’ve been…no, not even bone, there should have been a cavity where you were laying.

So, what the hell…?

………

A pillow.

Sans had actually wedged an entire pillow into his ribcage so you’d have something comfy to lay on while you were on top of him.

“I’m gonna be frank here,” you say. “I don’t know if this is adorable or hilarious.”

Sans laughs and you bounce a little with the movement. “can’t it be both?” he asks. “an’ if you’re frank, who am i?”

…Yep, your Sans was back.

You snicker, planting your palm in the middle of his face. “A jerk, apparently. You’re lucky I already knew that!”

Sans grabs your wrist and you blink in surprise as he holds your hand still so he can nuzzle it.

“i am lucky,” he agrees, his single red eye watching you. “thanks for stayin’.”

Your heart thumps hard in your chest. “I…well, of course I stayed. Where…where else was I gonna go?”

“work, if you didn’t take off for me.” Sans looks mildly chagrined. “i didn’t mean to make ya’ do that…”

You scoff. “You didn’t make me do anything. I wanted to come see you, so I did.”

Sans doesn’t look particularly comforted.

“Hey, come on,” you insist. “You know me, I never take time off, it’s not like I don’t have the days saved up. I got a nap in and I got to see my favorite skeleton, that sounds like a pretty good use of a day to me.”

Sans stares at you…and then he smirks. “m’tellin’ Pap you said i’m your favorite.”

You laugh and pull your hand back from him. It’s an empty threat and you both know it, but still…

“Okay, you’re right, I take it back: Papyrus is my favorite skeleton.”

“aw, i only got to be the favorite for ten seconds? that’s cold.”

“He’s just my favorite skeleton,” you say, folding your arms over Sans’ chest and resting your chin on them. “You can still be my favorite funnybones. How’s that?”

That one takes an extra moment to process.

Sans’ eye-light is shivering again, warping weirdly out of shape, and you’re definitely going to have to start paying more attention to context to figure this out because you didn’t even say anything humorous that time.

No time to think about it now, though, because Sans is sitting up, his arm coming around your back to hold you against him.

“okay,” he chuckles, “okay, just for that, we’re gonna salvage this half-day of yours.”

You laugh a little. “What?”

“c’mon, your first ditch-day in fifty years—”

“It’s been a couple months?”

“fifty years,” Sans insists. “we can’t just lay in bed all day, let’s go.”

You yelp in surprise when Sans unceremoniously rolls off the bed with you. You’re tensed, clinging to his ribs like handlebars as you wait to thud onto the floor.

There is no thud, of course. It’s a ‘whoomph’ at best when the two of you land on the couch downstairs and Sans starts digging through the cushions for the TV remote.

When he finds it and turns it on, you snort. “So, we’re gonna lay on the couch all day instead?”

“couch date,” Sans shrugs, winking down at you. “it’s my turn to pick, isn’t it?”

…You gotta give him that one, it is his turn.

You roll over to face the screen, snuggling backwards against Sans into the closest thing to a spooning position you can manage. If you leaned your head back, you’d barely be resting it against his sternum, but it’s hardly your fault that he’s impractically huge.

At least you’ve got the pillow in his abdominal cavity to make it more comfortable, plus the decorative couch pillows he graciously shifts around and settles beneath your head and arm.

Sans really is a thoughtful guy, even if he won’t stop giggling about how small you are.

“next time we go somewhere that charges admission, i’m smuggling you in,” he says. “pop ya’ into my ribcage an’ nobody’ll know, two for the price of one.”

The mental image is so stupid that you laugh, too. “I can’t even tell if you’re serious, you actually are that much of a con-artist. For the record, I don’t want to do any crimes, don’t make me do crimes!”

“aww, don’t get worked up about it, i’m just ribbin’ ya’.”

“I’m telling you, Sans, the comedy police are gonna get you one of these days.”

He bends down, nuzzling the top of your head. “visit me in comedy prison. bring me a cake with a rubber chicken baked into it.”

“What?” you laugh. “Why? That won’t help you escape!”

“i’ll serve my sentence fair an’ square, the chicken’s to keep my morale up. help me hendure it.”

You don’t even dignify that with a response.

“hey, if I’m down on my cluck an’ all cooped up…”

Okay, fine!

“How about you just don’t go to comedy prison at all?” you suggest. “It’s not eggsactly all it’s cracked up to be.”

Sans’ deep baritone laugh behind you feels like a gift, a hard-won reward after a rough day and it makes something in your chest sing with delight.

You reach back, swatting lightly at a rib. “Pick something good to watch, funnybones.”

“yes, dear…” Sans sighs, but he also drapes an arm over you as he starts to flick through the channels of daytime television so you know he isn’t as put-upon as he’s acting.

There’s not much on, of course: it’s still daytime programming, which is always a little lackluster no matter how many channels you have to choose from, but neither of you is all that picky.

You end up bouncing around from show to show, catching bits of movies here and there. Some of them you recognize and can give some context to Sans about, and others you’re both completely clueless.

Buddy comes down eventually to join you, laying on the floor in front of the couch. You know you’re anthropomorphizing, but you think he looks a tad annoyed with you for disappearing on him the way you did. Luckily, you can reach him from your spot on the couch and you give the scruff of his neck a good apology scratch so you don’t feel too bad about it and your dog-friend certainly doesn’t try to stop you.

You don’t try to stop Sans, either, when he reaches down to touch you.

It’s perfectly gentlemanly, of course, with nothing untoward behind his idle petting. The feeling of his hands stroking along your body—your arm, your hip, and just once, a bit of your thigh—is nothing but pleasant and you’re happy to lean into his touch and let him leisurely explore you.

It’s nice, a lovely way to spend an evening and that’s exactly what you do: snuggle and watch TV together until the sun goes down.

-

All three of you look up when the front door opens and Papyrus strides in.

He seems a little surprised to see you but quickly smiles when Sans gives him a lazy, “hey, Pap,” and goes right back to watching TV.

“Hello, Brother,” Papyrus returns, shucking off his messenger bag of books and his fashionable cold weather attire, “Human! I Suppose The Both Of You Have Been Lazing Around All Day While Some Of Us Were Working To Be Productive Members Of Society.”

“Yeah, pretty much,” you freely admit.

“best day ever,” Sans adds, stroking at your arm with his thumb.

He doesn’t turn away from the screen, though, so he misses the little thumbs up Papyrus gives you on the sly that makes your cheeks feel a little hot.

You suppose it could be worse: he could’ve asked for details about why you were spooning his shirtless brother in the middle of the living room, still mostly dressed for work yourself and leaning back against the whole entire king-sized pillow Sans had stuffed behind his ribs.

Papyrus is incredible at rolling with the weirdness, though. The more time you spend with these guys, the more you realize it has to be because he’s seen weirder.

Truly, a harrowing concept.

“Well,” Papyrus proclaims, “If You’re Both Really Such Loafers, I’m Sure You Won’t Properly Appreciate A Lecture On The Merits Of—”

“nope, already tuned out.”

“Sigh. No Point Wasting It Then!”

Without further ado, Papyrus marches over to the couch and shoves Sans’ legs right off of it.

Sans has pretty quick instincts. He catches you against him so you don’t fall off, too, and half sits up, bracing himself against the armrest.

All he says is, “dude,” but you hear the unspoken, ‘what the fuck?’ clear as a bell.

Papyrus just sits down on the newly-freed couch real estate. He bends to give Buddy on the floor a quick pat and then reaches over to swipe the remote.

“You’ve Had Plenty of TV-Time With Your Human, Sans,” he says flippantly. “If You Insist On Corrupting Them With Your Couch-Potato-Ing Ways—”

“i do,” Sans says emphatically, hugging you more tightly to his chest.

“—Then They Should At Least Be Exposed To Some Decent Monster Culture!”

So saying, he changes the channel. No actual programming is playing yet, but there’s a promo on for the special that’s about to air and you recognize it.

“Oh, Napstablook!” The ghost DJ, one of monsterkind’s most prominent artists since coming aboveground. “I love their music!”

“Ah, You’ve Heard Of Them!” Papyrus seems pleased. “You’re Not Completely Hopeless, After All, Then.”

You feel Sans huff out a breath behind you. “didn’t know blook was gettin’ a televised concert…”

“I Only Just Found Out Myself,” Papyrus admits, “But I’m Happy For Them! Nothing Beats The Showmanship Of The Late, Great Mettaton, Of Course, But That Ghost Can Certainly Mix Some Spine-Tingling Tunes, Nyeh-Heh-Heh!”

It’s quiet for a long moment, save for the sound of the television.

You have the feeling that Sans wants to say something, but has to figure out how first so you keep your mouth shut and let him work it out.

“hey,” he says to you eventually. “new date idea. you cool with changing it up?”

Still in your ‘day off, down for anything’ mindset? “Yeah, sure, whatever you wanna do.”

Sans nuzzles the top of your head again, gratefully affectionate, and then turns to Papyrus.

“hey, bro, we’re gonna go to grillby’s, get ‘em some real monster culture. ya’ wanna come with?”

Prev Chapter | Next Chapter

[matlaus]

Two Truths & A Tea [November 2, 2019]

IN PROGRESS

Rue sits back as he checks his uno hand, casually scratching behind Mini's ear as she passes by the box of cupcakes decorated like black cats that he had picked up as something special for the rare full day both he and Jesse could both be off, planning to cook something special for Alina that night when she got back to work and Jess went off to hang with her friends, mulling over his choices of what to play, before a small smile twitches on his lips as he pulls out his card of choice, looking up at Jess as he places it on the pile. "Annnnnd....Reverse," he offers, the smile twitching further up as he sees Cosmo go over to his mom and happily mew at her before she begins cleaning her, just watching for a moment before he hears a knock at the door.  "That Him?" He offers, as he glances over towards the door, recalling The Guy and her plans for later that day.

Jesse lightly chews on the right bit of her inner lip as she rereads over her winky face...feeling like it was borderline creep not what she was going for at allllll, moving to shoot a quick change to make it less....aghh. Her gaze panning up a bit as she sticks her finger on the icing, gently sucking her finger until she sees the card, just thankful it wasn't a draw four, slapping her final card down to snag the win, a jolt moving through her as she hears the knock a shy lopsided smile moving across her face. "...maybe......" She lowly says, moving to stand up and go to see.

"Damn," Rue lets out as he sees the card that Ends Him, a small smile twitching upwards onto his lips as Jesse secures her victory, before taking in her response. "Want me to go hide, or pretend I'm..." He lightly says, pausing for a moment to consider the hypothetic options as he strokes his chin in thought. "...the cook, the maid, the cat whisperer, all of the above?" He offers, a small playful smile forming on his lips before giving Jess a light, encouraging nudge of his shoulder before she gets up to go get the door.

"Cut it ouuuuuuuut..." Jesse whines out a bit, wagging a finger for a few beats at him before releasing a short stream of breath through her lips and then moving to open the door, "Hey," She looesly trails off, a peek of a smile moving across her face, stepping back a bit to let him inside. "Jusssst gimmie a sec, and we can go?" She offers, a flash of a strike cutting through her as she internally tries to recall where she left her wallet, stopping mid stride, "Rue, Mathias. Mathias, Rue." She explains, her fingers moving between them for a bit before heading off into her room, vaguely remembering something...

“Hey,” Matt replies back, a grin slowly forming on his lips as he takes in Jesse, giving her a nod before he realizes there was another guy in the room...feeling the need to backtrack a bit to take him in as Jesse steps into her room, realizing the guy seemed...older than him, and definitely cooler, trying to gauge if this could be Jesse’s...brother? Hopefully? Moving to greet him before taking in the other cat next to Cosmo, his eyes lighting up as he moves over towards Jesse’s room’s door, leaning against the wall. “I didn’t know Cosmo had a friend,” he enthuses, definitely not ditching the guy because he wanted to avoid the Awkward of having nothing interesting to say to him and his mind like...totally blanking and him needing to dip to avoid any potential Awkward...

"Really?" Jesse calls out, pulling down her shorts as she moves around, rummaging through her pile of unfolded pants for something in particular, "...Are you saying he's not instantly lovable?" She asks, turning her head as she shimmies on a pair of joggers, turning to look at herself from behind in her mirror.

“Like a cat friend!” Mat quickly corrects, as he leans against the wall by Jesse’s door. “Like I didn’t know you...guys had a second cat?” He offers, adding in the “guys” after realizing the other cat might not be Jesse’s, but possibly the guy’s instead?

A quick smile crosses onto Jesse's face as she hears the question, "It's his mom, her name's Mini! Don't be scared to say "hey", she's won't maul you...yet." She grins, leaning over to grab her bag, moving it over her body, opening her closet and grabbing her coat, propping open her door a crack, "Unlessssss...you wanna come inside?" She lowly murmurs out, her smile continuing to curve along her face as she looks over at him.

A smile begins to form on Matt’s lips, finding it...really kind of Cool? That Cosmo still had his mom, a vague recollection or thought moving through him from somewhere that such a thing was probably rare (?) in the cat world, moving to hear Jesse’s question. “Maybeeee,” he lightly offers back, moving to give a Polite knock on the door to the beat of one of his favorite songs. “May I Come In?”

A smile begins to form on Matt’s lips, finding it...really kind of Cool? That Cosmo still had his mom, a vague recollection or thought moving through him from somewhere that such a thing was probably rare (?) in the cat world, moving to hear Jesse’s question. “Maybeeee,” he lightly offers back, moving to give a Polite knock on the door to the beat of one of his favorite songs. “May I Come In?”

Jesse's lips continue to slowly drift upwards as she leans along the frame, watching with silent amusement as he knocks on her door, waiting for a few beats as she looks over him. "Good to know." She states, moving out of the door closing it behind her, and walking back into the living room, leaning down to give Cosmo a goodbye pet down his back, "We're gonna head out." She offers to Rue, her finger moving in a foreboding circle. "Behave yourself now, you hear?"

"Won't do anything you wouldn't do," Rue offers, a twitch of a playful smile forming on his lips as he crosses his fingers in the promise gesture, scratching Mini behind her ear as she climbs onto his lap, before giving Jesse a quick salute. "Have fun, and will keep you updated on your son and his adventures tonight," he offers with a bit of lightness to his tone as Cosmo joins Mini on his lap, moving to softly stroke his fur before Cosmo gives Jesse a quick mew goodbye.

Jesse squints her eyes a bit as a flash of a smirk crosses over her face, "Half-believe you..." She lowly offers back, before snapping her fingers into a finger gun at the mention of the updates, "That's what I like to hear..." Moving out the door and down the steps beside Mat, letting out a shiver as she feels the cold air hit her face, moving to zip and button herself up, her hands instantly moving into her pockets. "Soooo, you wanna start now or once We Get There?" She asks, casting a glance over to Mathias before looking both ways and briskly moving across the street.

Mat moves outside with Jesse, already feeling the cold air as he shivers in his jacket, walking beside her as he considers it. “I thinkkkk we should start with a Practice Round before we get there,” he offers, looking over to her.

Jesse's thick brows smush together as she hears Mat's words, "What?" She asks, a bit of a chuckle moving into her usual low, deep tone, "How do you figure that?"

"Like...everything has a Practice Round, right? Or like a game tutorial mode?" He offers, thinking on some of the games his brother's studio had made that he had played to check them out and support him, a smile forming on his lips. "Gotta like...give it a test run before the Real Official Deal, right?" He offers, before he drums his fingers on his leg as he tries to think of a good Test Round. "Okay, a Not So Exciting One to begin, but like, good for Tutorial Purposes...My siblings are named Arthur, Major, and Olive. Which is the Lie?" He offers, cocking his head to the side in Faux Uncertainty, doing his best to keep his tone even and neutral so he wouldn't give it away.

Jesse squints her eyes in thought before giving him a little nod, feeling like it was True Enough, following along with him down the steps down into the subway, through the turnstiles, thinking it over some feeling like it had to be "Major" because what kinda name even was that? Or..."Are they...mmm, they share your last name?"

"Does that technically count as a Hint? Need to stop and make the Official Referee Call here," Matt offers, considering it in his mind as he rubs his chin in thought with his free hand.

"You didn't say anything about asking questions," Jesse offers back, "Sooo, I think it should pass..."

Mat mulls the consideration over in his head a bit, lightly stroking his chin in his best expression of thought. “How about...you can ask one question per round?” He proposes, finding it a solid middle ground.

Jesse takes a soft inhale of brisk air in, catching a side glance of his stroking of...air, the edges of her lips briefly curling upwards as she moves her hands into her pockets, continuing forward across the street not bothering to pay any mind to the asshole who didn't seem to know how to drive, "This would be the part where you answer then..."

Mat moves to lightly drum his free hand against his leg, building up the drumroll before the Big Reveal..."Same last name," he delivers, waiting to hear Jesse's Final Answer.

Jesse takes in the answer with what she was feeling from before, "Mmmmm....gotta be Major. Major Lau? That's like a knock off of some old movie or something isn't it? One where the person's lips and the words always seemed to miss each other." She questions back, feeling like it was in that weird niche or whatever.

"Oooh, so close, but the answer is...Arthur. Plot twist, Arthur's real name is...Erik," he answers, a smile twitching onto his lips, a chuckle moving from him at her answer, though. "It totally sounds like that, though," he acknowledges, an amused smile forming on his lips. "Now, it's your turn."

"Erik?" Jesse lowly murmurs back, her head slightly tilting from side to side as she takes that nugget of info in, that sounding more like it fit, a faint curl of a smile appearing as she hears Mat's laughter, warm, and giving her little fluttery feelings in the pit of her stomach, trying to focus off of them into somethings she could say, "I'm allergic to peanut butter, I...never learned how to ride a bike, I was born on a full moon..."

"Erik," he affirms in return, a thoughtful grin on his lips as he takes in Jesse's three things, cocking his head lightly back and forth in thought for a moment. "Allergic to peanut butter?" He offers, deciding that felt Right, but also something to file away if it was true, glad he didn't think he ever brought over Reese's? Hopefully...

A short breath of air passes out of Jesse as her lips subtly curl upwards as she hears his answer, "Heheh...yeah. One for you..." She admits out, "Though does it count because it was the "practice" round? Hmmm..."

“Alrightttt,” Mat remarks, a grin forming on his lips, before he hears the question. “You’re right it wasssss the Practice Round, so...think it may be just more of a personal Good Job Me than any Official Point?” He offers, wondering if Jesse agreed for if that should be the Official Call.

[anonmemesables]

How to utterly confuse a mun.

@ask-the-mew-winky

[sometimesmew]

@ask-the-mew-winky @tekhal

A local villager brings out an ancient book. Seems the picture has been half rip out “Long ago before anything existed. Arceus built the world and created Mew. Mew created ‘life’ on Arceus world. Humans and pokémon's alike, lived in harmony in their own habitats.

The condition in Arceus world had come to an endless stand still, which the three rulers, Time, Space and Distortion, we’re born. For time to keep flowing, To keep space in order and for distortion in check. The Humans and Pokemons be-- “ Seems half of the words have being rip out.

 The local villager turns a few pages. “Many Mew’s lived everywhere across the world, but the very first Mew was loved by all humans and pokemons. To show their love and dedication, they built a shrine and statue for Mew. Sightings had prove Mew lives in this shrine, perhaps calling it ‘home’ and watch’s over the village.”

“Any human and pokemon who knows this, would offer prays and gifts to Mew.

We ask for help, answers or just simply wanting to chat. Seeing Mew would be a blissing. Mew doesn’t show herself to strangers, if regulars come, she won’t be so shy to come out

But it has being shown Mew isn’t always at this shrine. Perhaps it is traveling across land and sea to visit everyone.”

[ask-the-mew-phock]

[ask-that-one-mew-blog]

*the Mew doesn't seem happy about the subject of the conversation*

[ask-that-one-mew-blog]

"It's a pleasure to meet you too!" ((My terrible handwriting is back *creepy-epic music* Also since Winky's 8 I just assumed it's a kid so it smol- Sorry if the art is bad I was lazy))