#ask: curator

[fiadorable]

Director’s cut for an ending unforeseen, please. Or breakfast and a show. Or both. 🙏❤️

Both. The answer is always both @curator-on-ao3

Ok, so I'd been looking for an excuse to write an ending unforseen pretty much since the pilot for strange new worlds aired. I couldn't believe the similarities between Pike and Kiley 279 and Janeway and the Caretaker. As strange new worlds progressed, I became more firm in my convictions. Two explorers, separated by over a hundred years and tens of thousands of light years, each with an incredibly tuned sense of justice and tragic proclivity for self flagellation (and clinical depression imo)... what more could I want??

Answer: time travel. The thing these two boneheaded captains love the most. I really needed Janeway to have that moment with Pike when he tells her she's doing a great job because she had so little opportunity for that external validation, and then for Janeway to also give Pike some of her relentless hope as he's preparing to go back to what he feels is his final hour. And the ending. Ugh. I made myself emotional with it. I feel like it's a hair too saccharine, but I dragged that poor man out of a catastrophic accident, dumped him on Voyager, and then had to have them send him back so like he deserves to know his sacrifice was not in vain?? That people respect him and honor his commitment to returning knowing what he's going back to, to have some of his compassion reflected back at him. God, the feelings.

I was a little nervous writing this fic for two reasons. 1) It had been eight years since I'd written Janeway and I was feeling a bit creaky in the characterization department and 2) I was dumping a lot of backstory into the summary so I could get on with the actual important part of the story which was not how or why the time travel worked. Neither of which were actually an issue, of course, everyone was quite lovely about everything. Even the way Janeway pulls Pike aside at the end for a private question just like she does to Chakotay in Shattered which I didn't realize I'd done until after I published OH WELL y'all are nice to not mock me relentlessly for that.

And then breakfast and a show was SO FUN to write, I genuinely enjoyed every second of it, which is, uh, rare lol. Since the show did a musical episode, it felt right to do a Pikeuna piece with Una and Pike. It was fun to use Pike's POV to describe the patter song and think she's perfect and gorgeous and The Best even if she's not much of a dancer. And I wanted them to feel a little "lived in" so I threw in the classic "quiet spouse scares the shit out of the focused spouse" gag.

Una is singing a Sondheim patter song (a fairy dies every time a Trek character mentions Gilbert and Sullivan and entire multiverses collapse when a Trek person sings Gilbert and Sullivan). They get into a mini food fight after Chris starts "helping" her finish up, but it ends with Una clearing the kitchen island with a single sweep of her arm and lifting Chris onto it to finish him off instead.

I find drabbles quite liberating in their constraints. The challenge to create a perfect soap bubble scene where the reader knows there's story that comes before and story that continues after, but this here is the most important, distilled part is just... chef's kiss.

send me an ask for more behind the scenes info on my fics

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

Fuck Verizon

(the winking face was not intentional why the fuck is that the default if you don’t put a question tumblr?!??)

[transmisogyny-explained]

I want to submit a perspective on "afab transfemininity" from. an afab multi gender person. I know my experience isn't representative of everyone who calls themselves this, but I wanted to at least share

I don't call myself a trans woman, I hesitate to call myself transfem. nonetheless, I feel connected to femininity in a distinctly transgender way. when I first came out, I hated being a girl. I was a transmedicalist and validated myself by invalidating others. I had to face a lot of internalized misogyny and transphobia in order to really learn what it meant to be a man. after I started testosterone about 3 yrs ago, I realized I was a lesbian, and started feeling more comfortable being, at least in part, a woman. it was different this time because it was something I liked, something new and my own, not something ascribed to me. it's not cisgender in any way, it is transfemininity

this being said, I know my experience toward transfemininity is extremely different from the norm. I am not what most people are referring to when they refer to transfems, and there are many definitions of transfem that do not include me. despite that, I do have some experiences that overlap, things I can relate to. my femininity is at its core transgender in nature. my gender now is more complex... I feel like both a man and a woman, neither and both. but that doesn't mean my feelings about my gender are predatory or invalid. I don't want to talk over transfems, I am very aware of my place in these conversations. but I still have a place, and it frustrates me to see you share posts that minimize my experience into a stereotype

Why do you view transfemininity as being, at its core, the experience of being “both a man and a woman” lmao

Get back to me when you start viewing trans women as actual women and transfemininity as actual femininity, and not an aesthetic or a vibe or “some other third thing” apart from femininity.

You “feel femininity in a distinctly transgender way?” Congrats! You’re nonbinary! But that is NOT what being a trans woman is — Their womanhood and femininity is not essentially different from cis women’s.

What you are describing is a very generic experience of being a feminine nonbinary person, and I don't say that to insult you; but to compare that experience to those of trans women’s betrays the fact that you don't view them as the same gender as cis women. Which is transmisogyny. It’s textbook third-gendering.

Call yourself a nonbinary woman- Call yourself whatever you want, in fact. But trans women and TMA people are never going to feel safe around you so long as you continue insisting that transfemininity is essentially the same as the nonbinary femininity you experience, and essentially different from “real” cis women’s femininity.

Also, can I just say that it’s a little condescending that you would end your ask by saying “I’m aware of my place in these conversations, but…”

Like, if you were really “aware of your place” and were actually listening to transfems when we talk about transfeminism, you would be able to recognize the enormous amount of transmisogyny baked into your message. On top of the third-gendering, you also managed to:

Imply that TMA people don’t understand the complexities of gender and nonbinarity like you, a TME person, do

Imply that TMA people creating the language and spaces to discuss our experiences in a way that excludes you, a TME person, is invalidating and somehow tantamount to labeling you as “predatory” (what does that even mean?)

Sent an unprompted ask to a transfem’s blog venting your frustrations with the language of transfeminism, despite the fact that I’m not even the one who made those posts?

Showed a pretty absurd amount of entitlement by insinuating that it’s somehow my problem that you feel frustration over misunderstanding the basics of transfeminist theory

Subtly demanded that I do the emotional labor of managing your frustration, which, frankly, is just classic misogyny

Displayed a complete lack of understanding towards what transmisogyny even is, nor why we, as the direct targets of transmisogyny, need the the language and spaces to discuss it

I really don’t care what transfem “experiences” you think you relate to, the fact that you perpetuate and can benefit from transmisogyny will always separate you from us, and if you actually gave a shit about us and our struggles, you would recognize that and try to be a better ally to us rather than co-opting and redefining our language in a shallow attempt to define us out of existence.

As has been said countless times now:

“Transfeminine” does not mean “trans + feminine,” it is a term coined by TMA people to describe our specific experiences with being denied our femininity. That is something which you, as a person for whom (as you said) womanhood/femininity was ascribed by the system of patriarchy, cannot understand in the way we do.

[regular-gnome]

previous

[epitome-of-an-openbook]

what if i block every person that i see campaigning for or speculating that Buck and Eddie will kiss at the bachelor party bc that enforces the truly horrible bi stereotype that bisexual people, like myself, are more likely to cheat? what if I did that 🤨?

[destinationtoast]

So, Tumblr is doing another new thing, and you may want to make your Likes private.

On my dash, I've started seeing posts with a header that says "Liked by [username of someone I follow]."

So far via this new feature, I have learned that various people I follow are fans of spicy queer photography, rpf, and some controversial opinions. Which is hardly surprising on tumblr dot com, but I haven't seen some of those people reblog such content in the past, so I didn't know that about them previously. (All these folks have their Likes publicly available, so I could in theory have browsed the posts they liked before. But to me, there's a difference between having Likes visible when people go looking for them vs. having them publicized on followers' dashes.)

If you don't like the idea of your liked posts showing up on followers' dashboards with your name at the top, you can change your settings so your Likes are private.

On mobile, open up your settings and click "Pages:"

Then make sure that sharing is turned off for Likes:

You can also send feedback to Tumblr.

[hellsite-detective]

Could you please tell the story of how you and Madame Curator got together? I love those kinds of stories!

ah! a wonderful story that i love telling!

see, me and Madame Curator met on tumblr! no surprise there. i was just going about my day when suddenly i started getting all of my queerplatonic yearning posts on my main blog spam liked. i looked to see who was doing it and noticed she was also reblogging a lot of them. i went to the blog she was reblogging them to and noticed her pinned post was all about wanting a qpr, and she specifically wanted the exact same things i wanted!

so, because i’m socially awkward and don’t know how to just message people, i opened my ask box on my main blog. and by some miracle she sent an ask in! specifically saying that she hopes im able to find a queerplatonic relationship one day. after that, i messaged her and was like “heeyyyy so you seem super cool!! we should talk moooore” and then we did talk more! and like… two weeks of constant messaging later, i messaged her and was like “hey so i kinda maybe possibly want to be in a qpr with you!” but in a super vague way. she said she wasn’t interested and we went about our conversations like normal

the next day! she messaged me being like “okay actually remember when you asked me out? well i think we should revisit that because i maayyybe realized i like you too.” then a couple days later we had a detailed discussion about what we would both want out of a queerplatonic relationship and setting boundaries and then we just ended up together!!

i’ve never believed in “soulmates” (i’m too aroace for that) but after everything that’s happened with her… i’ve started believing it. she’s just amazing and i’m so glad that i met her!

[beescake]

Sorry for the spam (^o^;) I just really like your blog

no need to apologize ayy!

in this corner we welcome all forms of enjoyment, regardless of whether you're a

happy to have yall here w me,

headin into homestuck 2024 :^)

[historical-fashion-polls]

communities?

hey y'all! I didn't want to make this like an "official" desk of the curator post but I did want to pop in and ask about the whole communities thing

I saw that it went live and I have been tentatively investigating them and I wanted to get a sense of if anyone would be interested in a specific historical fashion polls community to like chat about the polls and stuff and have it be a little more interactive with other folks?

would that be fun or is it not something that people are really using?

to be honest with you, I'm not fully sure how it works myself, but I would be more than happy to set one up if it's something y'all were interested in!

let me know your thoughts! 🥰

[jediavengers]

Anakin breeding kink… he’s obsessed with the idea of you being full with his seed so he just fucks you until he physically cant anymore

YES. And once he finishes fucking you, he’d put a pillow underneath your hips and make you stick your legs up while he pushes his cum back into you with his fingers. imagine him looking down at you and just smirking that cocky little smirk he does.

“look at you, filled to the brim.” anakin would tut, breathless and droopy eyed. “tight little pussy can’t even hold all of my cum, can it?”

[marionette-j2x]

"A Breach"

Curator: "Tsk! Virus detected breaching the 5th firewall encryption. It is heading towards the Parable's coding as we speak."

Narrator: "Not on my watch-"

Stanley: "[W-wait, wait! Can I come too?]"

Narrator: "Absolutely NOT. You stay right here and do whatever else you do whenever there's a breach in the system."

Stanley: "[That's the thing! There's nothing to do here! With the stories on hold, I can't just sit around and do nothing! I wanna help too! I'm just as a part of this Parable as everyone else here. And as much as I loathed this place sometimes, it's also my home.]"

Narrator: *grumbling* "Oh Bollocks! FINE. If you're so incessant. BUT I am NOT going to save your sorry arse if things go south."

Stanley: unfazed "[Sure, sure. Can we go now?]"

Mariella: "Any time now, you two! Virus is already outside the parable!"

Narrator & Stanley: Immediately teleports out of the Parable

BONUS:

Narrator: "Nasty little buggers aren't they? Are you sure you still wanted to help, Stanley? Hmm~? I could snap my fingers and bring you back inside the parable with the others where it's nice and safe because your strong and wonderful Narrator had valiantly fought the treacherous beasts of the-"

Stanley: *gulps nervously* "[No! M-My decision is final!]"

Narrator: *shrugs* "Suit yourself. It looks like this is going to be quite the handful. Fear not though, dear protagonist! Remember as the saying goes, 'If you can't beat them, beat them with a bat twice as hard'."

Stanley: "[That's not-]"

Narrator: "BATTER UP-!"

[fiadorable]

1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 for the ask game, please. Or any one of those if you don’t want to answer all five. 🥳

1) favorite part of the place where you grew up (weather, a particular restaurant / hangout spot, vibes, person, sight, etc)?

There was a family-owned Chinese restaurant we would go to for lunch on weekdays. Beautiful sit down space with a fountain in the middle of the dining area and mirrors on the ceiling to reflect the soft pink and purple lighting. We went so often over the years that the family knew us and our orders by heart, and we watched the son go from server to co-owner. I have yet to find a restaurant that puts that much love into their food.

2) least favorite part of the place where you grew up?

I lived in the back of a network of neighborhoods with several large hills, about a mile back from the main road. If you wanted to walk or bike to the library/park/school, you had to be willing to tackle the insane inclines and be sweaty af when you got to your destination.

3) what's something you once wanted that you now have?

A drum kit. I always wanted to try playing when I was a kid, but it was too loud/expensive/large for our family growing up. So that was my impulsive covid lockdown purchase: an electronic drum kit. And I don't play it often because my form sucks and I keep giving myself tennis elbow, but it sparks joy.

4) if you had to hop in a car right now and drive / be driven somewhere, where would you go?

The beach. I need a barefoot sunset beach walk in the surf.

5) what features would your Perfect Treehouse have (realistically or not)?

Splinter-free wood.

ask me a few of my favorite things

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

Don't you just hate the feeling of

yes

[allastoredeer]

Me : well maybe it's not that bad?

Me : looking for radioapple art and immediately get hit with big buff Alastor and tiny shorter than in canon Lucifer, Lucifer in a dress getting fucked by Alastor, Lucifer in a dress getting fucked by big buff Alastor, Lucifer who look like 5 yo and 'suave sugar daddy' Alastor who holds him and each with thousands of likes and absolutely zero of anything else than that

Me : nope 🙃😔

Save me Vox/Al artists, save me

Man, I love Vox/Alastor art so much.

I just love the Vox/Alastor ship as a whole, be it one-sided, mutual, or anything in between, and a lot of it stems from Alastor still feeling like he's Alastor.

I mean, I think people make Alastor a little more cruel and heartless towards Vox sometimes, but overall he still feels like himself. He gets to be dangerous and manipulative and he gets to be silly and whimsical. It's perfect.

Adding a cut right here because this post got WAY longer than I anticipated ⬇️

I think with RadioApple, when it comes to Alastor, people lean too much into this:

And not enough into this:

It feels like his fun, sassy, and whimsical side gets stripped away and he's turned into a stereotypically tall, dark and menacing love interest.

Where's his flamboyancy? His razzamatazz! As Susan would say, "Where's the showmanship? Where's the pizzaz? Fucking mediocre."

If I'm reading a fic or looking at art and I can't imagine their Alastor doing one of his girly-pop wrist flicks -

- then I can't keep going. His girly-pop vibes are too important to me.

Of course, when it comes to tone in both fics and art, sometimes fun and whimsical aren't what the artist is going for. But even outside of NSFW art and stories, so often Alastor just feels...bland. He feels too stiff. Too much like a suave, old fashioned, smooth talking gentleman, and not enough like a fun, silly, and sassy little freak who loves trolling people.

And with Lucifer if feels like they lean too much into this:

And not enough of this:

I feel like any, if not all, of Lucifer's flaws are brushed aside so often and so easily.

He feels softened and watered down. Like he's either a sad & awkward UwU boi all the time, or he's the most flamboyant, seductive little minx there is. And to be fair, he is both a very sad boi and a seductive little minx.

But rarely does he ever come across as powerful to me. A lot of the time he feels too normal. Or too sad and naive. Literally, like he could be any other sinner if I didn't already know he was the kind of Hell. And that's so funny to me because we've seen him openly and extravagantly display his powers multiple times in the show--not to the extent that he did in the finale--but he was definitely flaunting all the things he could do, make, or summon for Charlie during his musical-battle with Alastor. He was 100% showing off how powerful he is.

Not only that, but, honestly, Lucifer feels too open and sincere because that man is judgmental as fuck.

Going back to the "Dad Beat Dad" episode, there are multiple examples of him being a self-righteous little shit: 1) he was incredibly critical of Charlie's hotel the moment he stepped inside, even if he tried, and failed, to cover it, 2) he didn't even try to hide his disgust for Alastor's bar, which he didn't even know was incorporated by Alastor (who he hadn't even met him yet) and could've been incorporated by Charlie or Vaggie, for all he knew, 3) he wasn't taking Charlie's hotel or her plan for redemption seriously from the start, he didn't even have his mind open to the possibility, he wasn't there to hear about her plans he was only there to see her, and 3) when the hotel was attacked by the loan sharks, instead of making them go away or preventing the hotel from being damaged - which he could have very easily done with no amount of effort - he hung back and smugly reiterated that he was right and sinners can't be redeemed and Charlie should just give up on her goals/dreams because it's just not possible so there's no point in trying.

Like, Charlie was very clearly in distress over her hotel being attacked and destroyed, but he was too busy boasting about how he'd been "proven" right to see that.

He's very easy to anger and his ego is so easily bruised. Alastor got under his skin immediately and effortlessly - though I also believe that's on part that Lucifer doesn't have a high opinions of sinners anyway - and Lucifer 100% escalated the conversation/argument he had with Alastor during their first meeting.

See the whole scene of him referring to Alastor as a "has-been" and insulting the name he'd given the hotel, especially when you take into consideration that until Alastor said that he named the hotel, Lucifer thought it was Charlie who came up with it.

And I'm not going to say that Alastor was an innocent, picked on little baby in that scene, he was 100% riling up Lucifer from the start, but also, like...Alastor's lines weren't outright antagonist like Lucifer's were. They were more subtle, slightly needling and passive aggressive, but nothing that could really be taken as a insult.

This is literally the dialogue, word for word, of their very first interaction:

Lucifer: What in the unholy Hell is that?!

Alastor: Just some of the renovations we had done. Adds a bit if color, don't you think?

Lucifer: And you are?

Alastor: Alastor, pleasure to be meeting you, Sir, quite a pleasure. It's nice to finally put a face to the name. You are much shorter in real life.

Lucifer: Who is this? Who is this now - are you the bellhop?

Alastor: Ah-ha, no! I am the host of the hotel. You might've heard of me from my radio broadcast.

Lucifer: Hmm, nope! I guess that's why Charlie called it the "has-been" hotel, hahaha!"

Alastor: Ha ha ha, it was actually my idea.

Lucifer: Ha ha, well it's not very clever.

Alastor: Ha ha, fuck you.

Like. That's their first interaction. And if you go back and actually pay attention to facial expressions and body languages, this was the first time he's seen Alastor, and Lucifer was immediately disdainful.

I went back and screenshotted Lucifer's face, right after Alastor's first line (which was a relatively innocent in and of itself and didn't even sound that antagonist), and:

That's a lot of disesteem for someone he literally just met. At most, you could argue that it was Alastor's smirk or tone that set him off ⬇️:

But even that is such a small thing to get upset over.

I'd say the only time Alastor really started getting openly hostile towards Lucifer was when he wiped his hand after shaking Lucifer's cane (which Lucifer didn't even see as he was too busy fixing his hat) and commenting on Lucifer's height (as a shortie myself, can confirm, that'll get on the nerves very fast).

My point is, Lucifer was immediately unfriendly towards Alastor and escalated the situation just as quickly, if not quicker, than Alastor did. Alastor implied that Lucifer might know of his radio broadcast, and Lucifer jumped right to calling him a "has-been." He doesn't even know him. This is their very first meeting. He was judgy and dismissive of Alastor at first sight, and, let's be honest, he kind of threw the first punch with that "has-been" line. Alastor said Lucifer was shorter than expected, but it's not like he laughed, pointed at him and called him a undercooked little chicken nugget. I'm sure a lot of demons/sinners who've never seen Lucifer would also assume he would be taller and more menacing at first glance, and I doubt this is the first time someone was surprised with his height (still not cool, Alastor. We vertically challenged folk have feelings too).

But Lucifer was prejudice from the start and antagonized Alastor just as quickly, and way more openly, than Alastor did to him. And don't get me wrong, this isn't me saying that's a bad thing on Lucifer's part! This isn't me criticizing or scorning him for it. I think it speaks so much of him as a character!

Cause we've seen the soft and tender moments he has with Charlie. We know how much he loves and cares for her. But he's also egotistical, antagonistic, and judgmental as hell, and that's what makes him such a fun character to write about. He's awkward yet showy, smug yet caring, depressed yet prideful. And by god, this man will show off his power without hesitation. He knows he's hot shit. He knows he's the strongest person in all of Hell. He knows he's the top dog and he can do whatever he wants - even if he has no love or interest in interacting within the Pride Ring (as far as we've been shown).

He's got a lot of multi-facets to him and I adore it, and that's why I get so annoyed when all of that is stripped away and he's turned into this soft little sunshine UwU boi who's just a sad, sweet lil lamb who's done no wrong.

No! He has done many wrongs! There's a reason he and Charlie were estranged and I don't think it was Lilith's fault - or, at least, I don't think it was all her fault (I have many thoughts about Lucifer and Lilith's divorce, okay)

I didn't mean for this to turn into a full-blown character analysist post LOL but alas I tend to get carried away. This was all to say, I really enjoy RadioStatic because Alastor typically gets to keep his sadistic and whimsical side, and I appreciate that. His silliness means a lot a to me, and if he comes off as too stiff or formal, it takes me out of a story.

Lucifer's flaws and sheer power also mean a lot to me, and I wish there were more fics and fan-art that showed that. If Lucifer reads too much like a normal, every-day person, I lose interest. I like the idea of people getting used to him, and getting comfortable around his presence, only to get a sudden and overwhelming reminder that he is, in fact, an ancient and immortal being with immense power that their brains wouldn't even be able to comprehend.

I have so many headcanons about Lucifer as a fallen angel and how his habits and lifestyle developed over the thousands upon thousands of years he's been in Hell. Habits he's adopted that unconsciously help him duplicate the mannerisms and behavior of sinners and demons, but also those small, indistinct tells that are quick and subtle reminder that he could destroy everyone in Pentagram City with ease if he decided to; and also, those times if you were to look closely and really pay attention, you get the faint, unsettling feeling that there is something very un-human about him. A subtle, unnerving shiver down your spine as your instincts yell at you that this person is not a person at all, he's just passing off as one.

That shit gets me. Give me ancient, eldritch Lucifer and I'll love you forever.

I am sorry Anon, I did not mean for this response to get so big 😅 You gave me a paragraph and I gave you a novel. But yeah, save me RadioStatic artists, save me 🙏 I rarely have to worry about Alastor turning into a big, buff alpha man or a soft little UwU when he's with Vox, and I appreciate that.

Edit: Adding a screenshot of my tags here because apparently I wrote down too many and it cut off the character tags.

[regular-gnome]

pick'a boo, making funny faces to the little kid

[buckdiazlafd]

do you have any fanfic or fic author recommendations? you’re like the only person i’ve seen who Gets buddie

anon- i feel as tho i am one post away from u being like, you know what nvm i take it back 😭

but this is extremely sweet, a compliment i don’t know if I deserve actually, i think it’s more for my mutuals but ✨💗

i will share fics for sure! these are from my bookmarks and i think they capture the dynamic perfectly. anything from any of these authors is 🫶

be sweet to me baby by @sibylsleaves (sibylfic so. automatic fave)

close ain't close enough (til we cross the line) by @cranberrymoons (one of my fave infideleddie fics. buddiestander extraordinaire)

Still by @gayhoediaz (nde. ish. Yay 💗💗)

invisible string (tying you to me) by @bookinit02 (um. I cannot say enough things about this fic. it means everything 2 me)

where our eyes are never closing by @rewritetheending (this was the first buddie fic I ever read, and I think I was spoiled)

boys, when my baby found me by @eddiegotout (UM. this fic made me create a buddieblr acct. the specific derangement this fic caused me made me sign up and register a 911onABC url and make a second blog so. godspeed [highest form of compliment])

something deep inside by @eddiegettingshot (oh you want perfect buck and eddie voices? look no further. any fic by them, always)

Best case scenario by @lesbianrobin (looooove this fic! also ultimate buckstander <3)