#ask the valets

[ask-court-of-darkness]

Valets, what is your least favorite trait about your master?

Master Guy can be rather impatient at times.. though I suppose that is just how he is, haha. I must admit, however, that he is more patient with those he trusts.

Hm. That’s a good question… maybe Toa could use a little bit of a sense of humor. Not that it’s bad to be serious, of course-

Prince Roy has no bad qualities, I should say. Although… perhaps…. no. I will not say.

Young Master should eat more! He is getting to be very skinny and I worry for his health, I must say… Perhaps I shall encourage him to be healthier, but he does not feed himself due to laziness. Oh, how I worry for him…

Look, mate, I would never speak badly about Rio, but sometimes he can’t see romantic love unless it goes right up to him and punches him in the face.

Fenn??? This is my moment to shine, my dear! Where am I to begin?? He’s lazy, he’s a womanizer, doesn’t eat unless forced, spends too much time flirting, doesn’t attend lectures, throws himself upon unwilling people, has different nap partners every other hour, drinks too much, doesn’t take things seriously-

[krakenshipwreck]

good on shane wright for living in south lake union like a legit 20something! and also v interesting that shane knew perfectly well that everyone else lives on the eastside but decided to do his own thing. finally, i would love to see what shane's expression was like when mike benton suggested he should have a roommate like matty does and shane was all i like my 1BR just fine thanks.

[ethereal-occultist]

Nothing is worse than being exhausted, and just wanting to lie down, but you have to navigate through a big city to get to your hotel

[sunlaire]

in the maid au how long does it take for hickey to realise irving is an easy target? is it on sight? does he have to talk to him for a few minutes? does it take days? (though i'd imagine irving would be very transparent, willingly or not) i'm burning with the need for maid jirv information please-

I think it would be p much immediate. Hickey has a habit of talking to people all normal and friendly, when actually he's trying to gauge how they might be of use. It doesn't take long to clock the overly guilty religious vibe.

I this au, I love the idea that hickey and Gibson are close in the same way as canon. So they're out in the alley smoking cigarettes and chatting. Gibson asks him what he makes of the new guy. And hickey gets a smile, puffs on his cigarette and shrugs. "Reminds me of a lamb, sorta. Walking around like he does. Scared. It's in the eyes" he makes a gesture to his own eyes while talking.

And Gibson is looking askance at him. "Well try not to cause too much trouble, Cornelius. If you get kicked from this job, you know I won't be following you. I need the money, so."

"oh, you have the sweetest manor, you know that."

"I'm serious" and I think hes just the tiniest bit jealous of Irving getting this attention.

"relax billy. It's just a bit of fun." So yeah he becomes Irving's bully. He walks that line of not pushing him so far that he'll quit while still having his beer and skittles.

Admittedly, when he walked in on Irving in his room, all flustered and desperate for release yet unwilling to do it himself, Hickey did get a bit carried away. Like "Whoa this guy is tormented and it's kind of working for me."

Meanwhile, upstairs Jopson is preparing some tea while crozier reads the morning paper. "oh, how is that new maid working out for you, Thomas?"

Jopson gives him a kiss on the cheek before sitting down across from him "pretty well I'd say. Thank you again for him, Francis. He's a lovely addition."

And crozier smiles like 🥰 of course Jopson I love you jopson

[mrghostrat]

What’s valet arrangement???

Also all the rest sound so good!!!!

hnng this is one of my oldest wips based on a fic prompt someone suggested when i first rejoined tumblr! i came up with 2 or 3 ideas, one of which branched into In A Place Like This, but i'd still love to write the valet version

set in the 20s, angel/demon canon adjacent au, where aziraphale is posing as a valet for angel work, to try and better influence some of the city's more notoriously behaving bachelors. crowley, also posing as Help (like the bartender role he has in PLT), spots him and starts causing havoc to pull his pigtails

OR valet!aziraphale needs to get into a function for angelic duties, and crowley just happens to be quite highly esteemed in society at that point. he gets wrangled into playing the part of aziraphale's employer, thus sneaking him into the event, with lots of up close and personal valet+gentleman shenanigans

[mmoosen]

🐺 🐺

Hi!! Ty for the ask💜

But Nola’s vision is targeted on Gabby’s face, betrayed, troubled, and defeated. Nola has spent years learning Gabby and Gabby is scared that this is the end.

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

Me when Passepartout:😘🇫🇷

Such a beautiful man <3

[ask-court-of-darkness]

Valets! If you had to take a shot every time your master made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

(Tino) Perhaps slightly.. slightly tipsy. Young Master likes to sleep in most dangerous places!

(Jasper) I would never speak badly of Prince Guy, but he does make perhaps slightly questionable decisions sometimes. However, I like to think I hold my liquor well.

(Grayson) Prince Roy is a mindful and wise man. I should not think I would have even the slightest buzz….

(Knight) What? Toa?? I’ve never known him to make very bad decisions….

(Thoma) Erm… well… maybe a little? Or a lot?? Even though he’s my best mate, he’s… sometimes a little thick in the head.

(Violet) *completely drunk and wobbly* Fenn? He’s an idiot and a bastard!

[elmelloill]

i had no intention of giving my xiv retainers lore because they're literally just characters i like from other media (frederick fireemblem and dr roman) but for some reason now that i have a house i'm like. thinking about it. oops.

[huanglaoshu]

I also had to be similarly firm with Jeeves, who had repeatedly hinted his wish that I should take a cottage there for the summer months. There was, it appeared, admirable fishing in the river, and he is a man who dearly loves to flick the baited hook. "No, Jeeves," I had been compelled to say, "much though it pains me to put a stopper on your simple pleasures, I cannot take the risk of running into that gang of pluguglies. Safety first." And he had replied, "Very good, sir," and there the matter had rested.

...

I shook the head. "Out of the q., Jeeves." "The young lady tells me the fish are biting well there just now." "No, Jeeves. I'm sorry. Not even if they bite like serpents do I go near Steeple Bumpleigh." "Very good, sir."

-- Joy in the Morning, chapter 1

"His lordship is placing one of his own at your disposal, sir. He instructed me to say that he wishes you to proceed tomorrow to Steeple Bumpleigh -- " "Steeple Bumpleigh!" "-- where you will find a small but compact residence awaiting you, in perfect condition for immediate occupation. It is delightfully situated not far from the river --" It needed no more than that word "river" to tell me what had occurred. On his good mornings, I don't suppose there are more than a handful of men in the W.1 postal district of London swifter to spot oompus-boompus than Bertram Wooster, and this was one of my particularly good mornings. I saw the whole hideous plot. "Jeeves," I said, "you have done the dirty on me." "I am sorry, sir. It seemed the only solution of his lordship's problem. I feel sure, sir, that when you see the residence in question, your prejudice against Steeple Bumpleigh will be overcome. I speak, of course, only from hearsay, but I understand from his lordship that it is replete with every modern convenience. It contains one large master's bedroom, a well appointed sitting-room, water both hot and cold --" "The usual domestic offices?" I said. And I meant it to sting. "Yes, sir. Furthermore, you will be quite adjacent to Mr. Fittleworth." "And you will be quite adjacent to your fish." "Why, yes, sir. The point had not occurred to me, but now that you mention it that is certainly so. I should find a little fishing most enjoyable, if you could spare me from time to time while we are at Wee Nooke."

--Joy in the Morning, chapter 4

I had foreseen that some explanation of my presence might be required, and was ready with my story. My lips being sealed, of course, on the real reason which had brought me to Steeple Bumpleigh, it was necessary to dissemble. "Jeeves thought he would like to do a bit of fishing. And," I added, making the thing more plausible, "they tell me a fancy dress dance is breaking out in these parts tomorrow night."

-- Joy in the Morning, chapter 7

It's not dissembling if you're telling the truth, Bertie.

[warsavant]

hehehehe got my first rude comment as a professional seamstress! had some lady on facebook tell me i charge too much because she only sells shirts at a fraction of the cost, and rudely at that. meanwhile, everyone who does work at my level of authenticity charges the same price as i do or more. i feel bad for her, honestly. with her prices, at best? she's making below min. wage per hour, not counting material costs. she's waaaay selling herself short. i hope she does it just for a hobby because that's a stressful way to make a living!

[jungshookz]

Tesla Tuesday’s with valet!tae&jin but they don’t know abt sentry mode that records outside the car and accidentally catches them talking abt how EXTRA great miss y/n’s ass looks today and how EXTRA delicious she smells bc she used a new shampoo that smells like marshmallows and honeysuckle >>>:DD😼😼😼😼😼😼😼😼😼

"Oh, I've heard many, many things courtesy of sentry mode. Never been described as sex on legs before, but I'm here for it."

talk to my characters!

[airandangels]

As Gladys' débutante ball approaches, Mrs Russell seems to be on a spree of cutting off her nose to spite her face, first disinviting Carrie Astor because her mother wouldn't receive her, now wanting to dismiss Monsieur Baudain who's turned out to be a fraudulent Frenchman, a mere ouiabou wannabe from Kansas. How much ball will be left after all these cuts and changes?

[bansheenolan]

trick or treat!!!

this is sooo hard bcuz ive told u all my headcanons so u get a fic idea instead:

im gonna write (at some point) about the gabeallison valetargent of it all <3 about kids taught to be weapons and get murdered :( and how being raised in these families are fully abusive but u cant tell from the outside looking in

[oscargender]

Had the most. Specific dream