#ask sparky blaze

[asksparkyblaze]

rasazy Misao ask) opened a portal (this isn’t the book store..) then leave with the portal store open

#74

[painttasticpony]

Comfort Doodles

[asksparkyblaze]

Sparky Blaze is the eternal mare

@asksparkyblaze LOL.

[spencers-abit-weebish]

Teasing

XxX

Warning(s): 141 Being unintentional bullies, Mention of burn scars from fire fighting, slight age gap

The One Where:

Pairing: Price x Fem!Reader

A/n: Reader is described as being small both in height and stature but has a past as a firefighter so they're super buff but its hidden under baggy clothes

W/c:

xXx

You grunt as you set your fellow solider down on the ground against the tire of the Humvee. You quickly take a small oxygen tank out of your bag attaching it to his face before grabbing a towel and your canteen of water wiping the ash and cynder off his face. You look back at the burning building you just pulled him out off.

"C'mon, lets get back to the safehouse" Blaze says helping you pick up the new team member and help him into the vehicle.

"Price, are you good to drive?" You ask. You look back seeing the Captain with a half assed bandage around his hand helping his own teammate stand up.

"Sparky help them I'll drive" Blaze says. You nod helping your teammate into the Humvee first before helping Ozone in.

"Get in" You told Price who nods as you climb into the Humvee after Ozone. You glance back at the burning building seeing whatever Shadows were still alive trying to get out as Blaze starts to drive off.

xxx

"You did good out there Sparky" Price says patting your back.

"I'm only as good as my mentor" You told him as you tended to the slice he had on his hand.

"I can't take all the credit, Blaze's known you longer" He said gesturing to your commander who was patching up one of your comrades. You smile shrugging as you caught Blaze's attention.

"Blaze, celebratory drinks after this right?" You asked.

"Of course, that's a stupid question" Blaze chuckles. You smile rolling your eyes as you finish bandaging up Price's hand.

"You're coming with us, no questions asked" You told him.

"Oh I shouldn't, I have my own task force I should get back to" Price said gesturing to the few Bravo Team members he has brought with him for this mission.

"Please, we never get to see eachother John, I'd really like to be able to hangout with you" You begged. John chuckles as he tries to ignore your puppy dog eyes.

"I guess I can go back tomorrow" He said making you cheer. "Ozone, Druid, Scarecrow, you guys can go ahead and head back to the command base, I'll be there tomorrow" Price said.

"You sure Cap?" Ozone asked.

"Yeah, let Ghost know he's in charge of Soap and Gaz though, I don't want 2 am calls of those two getting into petty fights in the commons" Price said making the three other soldiers chuckle as they grab their bags and left. Price smiles softly as he watches you start to take off your tactical gear. "You got out of there without a scratch" He notes.

"I was a fire fighter Price, I know how to dress for occasion and avoid injury, and we both know I'm good at my job" You smile taking your layers of masks and goggles off. When you roll up your sleeves though Price’s eyes move to the notable burn scar on your inner forearm, right over top where you used to have a tattoo. “Okay this was a rookie mistake and not my fault because the uniform Blaze gave me was too big and in the way” You say.

“Oh I believe you” Price chuckles.

“It was one time give me a break, we have the same scar anyways kid” Blaze says his sleeves already rolled up as he patched up his solider.

"I could use someone like you on my team, you know” Price says flexing his hand that you had just bandaged.

"Thanks John, that means a lot to me" You told him as you grabbed a wet wipe wiping your face from its greasepaint and cinder

"I'm serious darling, you know I only want the best of the best" He says.

"You are my best Y/n" Blaze comes up from behind you tossing an arm over your shoulder.

Blaze used to be your captain back when you were both firefighters, if anything he was the one that convinced you to join him in the military, becoming part of the SAS. From there during basic training he had introduced you to Price where you had immediately become attached to the older man.

"What are you trying to get at here?" You smiled looking up at the two older men.

"I'm asking you to join my task force Y/n" John chuckles.

"I'm giving him my blessing" Blaze adds.

"i- are you sure?" You ask taking a seat next to John.

"Sparks, you're my best soldier, and Price only wants the best of the best. As not only your commander, but you're friend, I really think you should do this" Blaze says arms crossed over his chest soft smile on his face.

"I would really mean alot to me if you joined us, be my second lieutenant" Price nudges you softly.

"Let me think about it John, and I'll get back to you," You smile softly resting your head on his shoulder.

xxx

"You better treat them right Price, because I will hunt you down if I need to" Blaze said.

"I know sir"

"Sparky, don't forget you always have a home here, and don't hesitate to let me know if the 141 is giving you a hard time because i will go up there and start handing out cans of ass-whooping" He says making you laugh. Blaze picks you up as he hugs you.

"Price, friendly reminder that I'm ranked higher than you and will kill you and your men if I need to, take care of my kid" Blaze threatens John one more time making you laugh.

"I'm just transferring team Blaze it's not like I'm getting married" You laugh teasingly shoving him away from you.

"Not yet my little Spark" Blaze says patting your head as if you're a child.

"Bye Blaze,” You say loudly at him grabbing John’s arm and dragging him away with your things. “Lets go before he embaresses me anymore" You whisper quietly to Price as you both head to his car. He laughs his hand on your lower back guiding you to his vehicle.

It took you one week to agree to join Price's team, it took less than 24 hours for the transfer to be complete due to Blaze having done all the paperwork for you ahead of time. Price took it upon himself to drive to you to pick you up and take you to the 141 command base. It was only a few hours distance but it still meant alot to you that he went through that effort.

Price set your bags in the back before opening the passenger door for you. He helps you climb into the truck before closing the door.

The ride was filled with mostly small talk, catching up on the few months the two of you had missed apart.

“What do you bring with you that you have so many bags?” Price asked glancing at the backseat.

“I live in the barracks John, I don’t have my own place” You reminded him.

“Still, I thought you were going to go out and look for a place last year?” He said.

“I thought about it but I spend so much time working it’s pretty much pointless, and you know my mother and sisters all pretty much disowned me when I decided to go into ‘a man’s career’ so there’s no point in finding a place close to home since there’s no one to go home to and I pretty much work 365 days a year” You said.

“Well that would explain how you managed to climb the ranks so fast Sparks, I’m proud of you, but I will say when I tell you to take a leave you’re taking it, I don’t care where you go but I want you to take a vacation” He orders making you laugh.

“I’ll only go if you do, seems fair” You tease making him chuckle. You head your arm rested on the center console and smile when John sets his arm next to yours, his pinky linked with yours making you smile down at them before looking out the window.

When the two of you arrived to the 141 Command Base there were a few soldiers outside waiting for Price. Your hand went to the handle to get out of the car until John stops you.

“Don’t you dare open that bloody door” Price scoffs at you making you laugh as you let go of the door handle. You smile as he gets out running around the front opening the door for you helping you out. The truck was fairly high off the ground and your civilian boots didn’t give you the height that your tactical boots did. You watched as the three soldiers that were waiting for Price were whispering to each-other as John helped grab your bags out of the back.

“Y/n these are a few of my men, Sergeants Kyle Garrick and John MacTavish better known as Gaz and Soap, and that is Lieutenant Ghost you’ll meet the rest of the team tomorrow morning along with some privates we’re training” John introduced.

“It’s great to meet you all I’m Lieutenant Y/n L/n but you can call me Sparky” You smiled kindly waving at the group of men who stared at you in shock. Before anyone could say anything Price had dragged you off to show you your room in the barracks.

“Oh they’re definitely shagging” Soap said.

“They have to be, I’ve never seen Price act like that towards anyone, not even his wife when they were still together” Gaz said before the two of them looked over at Ghost.

“I’m not agreeing with you,” Ghost says before he starts to walk off. “But I’m not disagreeing”

xxx

“Stop” You squeak as John laughs holding up a picture out of your reach. The picture was of your college graduation just a few years prior when you had gotten your PhD. John, Blaze, and a few of your friends had attended the ceremony but the picture that you chose to keep framed was of you standing standing with Price his arm around your waist while Blaze stood behind you both like a proud father.

While Blaze and Price weren’t far off in age with each-other Blaze was the protective older brother you always wanted. Price on the other hand, he made you happy.

“I’m just teasing Sparks here” Price chuckles handing you the picture, you flush as you set it down on your desk before taking out another picture setting it on your nightstand. John took a glance and the first picture was of your fire unit back home. He chuckles softly opening your bag of clothes putting them on hangers.

“You really love your teams don’t you?” He asked seeing you also had a picture of your former task force.

“Of course I do, I mean, back with the fire guys, Cap was the best father figure I ever had, and Blaze is like my older brother, they were my first family" You explained. John smiles softly to himself before closing your closet door and shoving the duffle bag under the bed with the rest.

"Well I hope you see the 141 as a family" John says as he sits down at your desk while you sat on the bed falling back.

"This bed is really comfy" You chuckle.

"I'm glad, now get some rest Sparks, I'll meet you down at the field in the morning" John patted your knee his hand lingering for a moment before he go up and left.

xxx

0500 sharp you were out of bed lacing up your boots and grabbing your PT jacket. You made it out to the field no later that 0510 waiting for the soldiers to all get there. You had gotten them all some protein bars and waters just incase along with Tylenol since Price had mentioned that they had recently come back from a mission a few days before you had gotten there and some of the soldiers were still sore.

“There she is, how’d you sleep Sparks” John asked walking up to you a few of his soldiers trailing behind him. You reached an arm up to him since you had been stretching on the ground. John pulled you up tossing an arm around your shoulders.

“Hey, I slept great my room here is so much better than the one I had back at my old base” You said.

“Probably because Price spent a week making changes to it” Gaz quietly whispered to Soap who nodded.

“So Sparky tell us about yourself, why that call sign?” Soap asked.

“I used to be a firefighter” You explained.

“Aren’t you too small to be a firefighter?” Soap teased. You inhaled sharply at the comment but decided to ignore it.

“Hey are those firefighter competitions real?” Gaz asked.

“Yeah, not every district participates on them though, but my Captain was very, exentric so in our case we never missed one” You explained causing both boys to share looks before they started laughing.

“Here’s the rest of the team Sparks” John changed the topic of conversation as he introduced you to the others.

Meeting the team wasn’t as exciting as you thought it would be. First of all, you were the only girl on the 141. Second of all, ontop of being the only girl, not everyone was open to obeying your orders, not when they had big bad Ghost to listen to. Third of all, the teasing, and it wasn’t as much teasing as it was back handed compliments and passive aggressive statements.

As the months passed with you being part of the team you thought things would progress, but it seemed as John was the only person on the team that respected you. But even he was blind to the way everyone treated you.

“You’re not as dumb as you look” Ghost says after you had offered an alternative plan to get out of the building unrecognized by the enemy soldiers.

“I like how you don’t care what people think of you, that’s a nice trait to have” Gaz says after you explained why you had met up with them at the bar looking the way you did.

“I never would’ve pegged you for for a fire fighter even less baseball team in High-school. My guess would’ve been choir or band kid, and I don’t maybe a teacher” Soap said still in disbelief that you used to be a firefighter and part of your high schools baseball team.

Ozone, Druid, and Scarecrow were really the only ones that treated you with the slightest bit of respect only because they worked with you on the field before and have followed your orders. But even they could be a bit insufferable at times.

“What’s going on between you and the Captain, are you two shagging?” Druid asked as he sat with you in the mess hall. You rolled your eyes getting up tossing your meal and heading to John’s office.

“Ya’know I think the only reason Sparky’s even with us is cause she’s sleeping with the Captain” Ozone told Scarecrow.

“You think? I mean she is pretty bad ass” Scarecrow said.

“Yeah but just look at how Cap treats her, he treats her so much more differently than the rest of us” Ozone said.

The straw that broke the camels back was on a mission. A bad one at that.

“Shit! Duck for cover!” John said grabbing you by your vest and pulling you towards him. Everyone nearby ducked as the building exploded and collapsed.

“Are you okay?” You asked him.

“Yeah you?” He asked. You nodded your head as you kept moving.

“We need to rendezvous John I don’t like it here” You told him.

“I know, but we need to catch him Sparks” John said. You nodded your head as you shot down a few soldiers that rounded the corner.

“Price we got a problem, bad one” Soap could be heard over the comms.

“What is it?” Price asked making you stop.

“We have our target, and by we I mean Gaz. He’s trapped inside the burning building with him” Soap says causing you and John to look at the building that was on fire and on the verge of collapsing.

“Sparks” John says. You sigh heavily dropping your head.

“Toad, Archer I’m gonna make a run for it, cover me” You ordered hearing both men reply with ‘Yes ma’am’

“With all due respect Sparky I don’t think you’re gonna be able to get them” Soap starts coughing clearly indicating he’s probably in the mess trying to help.

“I’ve got the target but I can’t find Gaz” Ghost says coughing over the comms.

“Both of you get out of there now, that’s an order” You tell over the comms.

“C’mon Sparks, can’t be too *cough* bad, we’ve done worse things before” Soap chuckles.

“God damnit Soap I’m your fucking Lieutenant so you follow my god damn orders, I want you out of there now, the same goes for Ghost” You yell. You stop in your tracks as you see a portion of the building start to collapse.

“Sparks we-”

“That’s an order Soap” Price cut him off.

Once you made it you spring into action. You take off your backpack grabbing your ropes attaching them to your waist, clipping your axe to your thigh. You take out a few oxygen tanks setting them up before placing your gas mask over your face and going in.

Soap is the first person you find since he was on his way out.

“Go, there’s an oxygen tank waiting for you outside” You told him. He nods as he makes his way out finding Price outside with Druid. Price immediately slaps the mask over his face turning on the tank.

“Ghost! Gaz!” You call out.

“Over ‘ere” Ghost coughs. He has the target who’s already passed out. You climb over some fallen beams getting to him.

“Can you walk?” You asked.

“Yeah” he says. You grab the target with ease tossing him over your shoulder. You grab the Axe breaking the beam you had jumped over after making sure it couldn’t cause anymore damage and help Ghost out of the building.

You set the target down on the ground grabbing an oxygen tank putting it over his face. Soap takes off his mask handing it to Ghost who slightly lifts his balaclava so he can breath.

“I found our target at the bottom of some broken stairs” Ghost says. You nod your head.

“I’m going back in” You said going into your backpack pulling out a fire hydrant.

“You go in missions with all this in your bag all the time?” Soap asked.

“I was a fire fighter for 8 years, I’ll be damned if I’m not prepared for something like this” you said.

“Y/n!” John calls out before you run back into the burning building.

“Yeah?”

“Please be safe” He begs. You simply nod your head running inside calling out for Gaz. After sweeping the downstairs you see a flight of stairs that have toppled over. You climb up the stairs using the rope for support making your way to the second floor.

“Gaz!” You yell finding him by the window passed out. You kneel at his side taking off your gas mask slipping it on over his face. Your break the window looking out. “I have him, I’m sending him down” You said causing the rest of the 141 to nod, the ones that hadn’t made it to the rendezvous point had met up there after reassuring they they had taken down the rest of the enemy soldiers.

“Sparky?” Gaz said as he slowly regained consciousness.

“I got you big guy” You said lifting him up as if he weighs nothing. You helped him out of the broken window and slowly lowered him to the ground. Right as you were about to untie the rope from yourself to go ahead and jump out since the height wasn’t that far, the floor below you breaks.

“Y/n!” You hear John scream. You scream as below you is a fire just inches away from you. You cough as you pull yourself upright looking at where th floor was once above you.

“I’m alright!” You yell out as you cough again. Looking around you you start to climb the rope. You find your axe and fire hydrant not too far away from the edge of the hole.

“Keep the rope attached to Gaz, it’s the only thing keeping her out of the fire” Price orders. They all nod as they start attending to Gaz.

“Captain, we have a problem” Soap says taking the gas mask off of Gaz, it was the same one you were wearing. He slips the oxygen mask over the soldiers face.

“That’s not our only issue” Ghost says looking up at the window we’re the glass shards still attached to the frame we’re cutting into the rope due to your movements on the other side.

“Y/n get out of there!” Price yells into the burning building. When you didn’t respond he starts to worry. “Bloody hell, give me that” Price says taking the gas mask from Soap. He goes into your backpack in hopes of finding something to help him save you but grunts when he comes up empty. Price throws all common sense out the window as he runs into the burning building.

“Sparks!” He yells. He hisses when he gets too close to a fire his arm getting slightly burned.

“John” You croak back. He looks over and last the burning flames seeing you hanging between the first and second floor, holding onto the rope and what’s left of the second floor for dear life.

“I got you Sparks don’t worry” John says as he starts making his way towards the stairs.

“No it’s too dangerous, get out” You shout back as your lungs start to fill up with smoke.

“I’m not leaving you here Sparks” John shouts back as he jumps over the hole on the stairs his foot briefly getting stuck after creating another hole. He quickly scrambled up the stairs as they collapsed behind him. Without thinking he runs over to you stopping when you shoo him away.

“The floor’s becoming fragile get out of here before we’re both stuck” You cough.

“Y/n your rope is about to snap and that floor is about as stable as Ghost’s mental health, I’m not leaving you here” Price says. He looks around the room before finding some books. “I’m going to try to hit the fire hydrant towards you, think you can grab it?” He asked. You nod your head adjusting your grip before reaching forward for the hydrant. Price slides the first book across the floor, missing the hydrant but hitting the axe. You watch as it misses you but falls into the fire below.

“Damnit John that was my good axe” You complain.

“Sorry darling, it was in the way” John says before sliding the second book. John almost cries when he hits the fire hydrant but instead of going towards you it falls to its side and starts to roll off the edge of the flooring. “Y/n!” he yells when you let go of the floor reaching for the hydrant. Your body drops causing the force of your weight to snap the rope. John runs to where you were holding onto the broken wall for support as he looks into the hole on the floor. You’re on the ground spraying the fire around you and yourself in the process due to your clothing starting to burn. John sighs in relief as he slowly jumps down the hole to the first floor.

“Are you okay?” He asked taking off the gas mask putting it on your face.

“Yeah” You say slowly getting up. You check yourself seeing that while you had a few burns in your clothes you were fine. You and John walk out of the building seeing the target was now awake along with Gaz.

“Let’s get going” Price says as you start to pack up your bag with the exception of the two oxygen tanks.

“You won’t leave” The target mumbles.

“I just saved your ass so shut the fuck up” You growl at him.

Before anything else could be said, you felt a jabbing pain right on your lower back. Making you double over in pain. Gaz and Soap both copy your movements as they both get shot as well.

“Sparks” John as he pulled you off the the side the rest of the task force doing the same.

“I got it, I got it” You said pulling out two hand guns and your goggles. The team watches as you step out from the hiding spot and start to shoot, you earn yourself another bullet which causes John to cringe as he grabs his rifle. He stands behind you taking out the last couple of guys.

You sigh heavily leaning back on him his arm going around your waist.

“Can we please get out of here before my adrenaline goes down” You sigh heavily.

It took nearly an hour to get to the RV point due to most of the task force member having injuries and trouble breathing.

When you all got there, the teasing began again and you were finally fed up.

“I refuse to believe little ole’ Sparky actually pulled you all out of a burning building”

“You’re so small, how the hell did you carry a man twice your size out of there”

“Got yourself shot twice In the process how the hell did you even do that”

“That’s enough!” Price barks at them. He looks over at you noticing your adrenaline hasn’t gone down yet, only being fueled by your annoyance and anger.

“There goes Captain again defending his girl” You hear one soldier whisper to another, low enough that Price doesn’t catch it. You finally snap as you stand up from leaning against the nearest wall walking up to the soldier that towered over you.

“So what?” You say catching him off guard.

“Come again ma’am?” The solider says suddenly nervous he’s being put on the spot.

“No no, don’t start with formalities go ahead, say what you’ve been saying for the past year I’ve been with you all. Think I don’t hear your taunts and whispers? Go ahead, say that I’m too small, or too inexperienced, I’ll never be as good a Lieutenant as Ghost, I’m not smart enough to be here, I’m not big and bad like the rest of you, I’m Captain Price’s little whore, his toy and the only reason I’m standing here right now is cause we’re fucking” You said finally confronting the entirety of the 141. The men all got silent causing you to bitterly chuckle. “Now you all want to be quiet, good to know the kind of men you all are” You say as you start to load into the trucks.

Price sighs heavily telling everyone to load up. He climbs into the back of one of the trucks seeing you tending to your wounds. He’s in shock on how your adrenaline still hasn’t worn down.

“Can I?” He asked reaching out for the tweezers. You sigh heavily handing them to him. Gaz, Soap, Ghost, Druid, and the target are all loaded in behind you. Your target has a bag over his head and you had tranquilized him.

You watch as Scarecrow and Ozone get in the driver and passenger seat the rest of the team loading up on the other trucks. Due to your years as a firefighter you also had medical experience so you slowly and quietly coach John through the proper treatment of a bullet hole so you wouldn’t take up space in the infirmary at base.

“How about your back?” John asked as he finished bandaging your shoulder to your liking.

You hold up the bullet you carved out of your vest, “Another one for the collection” You joke. John chuckles as he sits himself next to you a hand placed on your thigh. A silence with tension unknown to you and John was made. Soap was the one that decided to break it.

“We’re sorry Sparky” He said. You look over at him watching him take off the oxygen mask giving it to Gaz to put it to his face. From the corner of your eye you arch Ghost drop his balaclava slipping the oxygen mask over the targets face.

“Go on” You said your voice becoming cold.

“We didn’t realize a lot what we said was bothering you, I mean we’re so used to the task force being all men and usually we like to tease the newbies but I guess we forgot that you’re not new” Soap says.

“That’s a shit apology Soap, don’t make excuses, I should write you up for the shit you all pulled” John said his voice harsh with his soldiers.

“I think what Soap is trying to say is that we felt excluded. Obviously we’ve worked by Price’s side for years and he’s been an amazing leader and friend to us. Then suddenly when you come around it’s all about you. We all got in our heads and started believing the rumors going on about you two so we just subconsciously started trying to hurt you” Gaz says handing the oxygen mask back to Soap.

“I’m a soldier to him just like the rest of you, the only reason John and I have a closer connection is cause he’s been with me since I was in basic training. He and my former commander Blaze were the only people to show up to graduation due to my family pretty much disowning me when I chose more masculine line of career” You explain.

“I don’t think that’s what they mean Darling” John sighs heavily. You look at him confused as he leans over his face in his hands.

“You know when my wife and I split up I was a mess,” He started. “I had to take a months leave to get my shit together and darling, you had no reason to be there for me and help me but you told Blaze you’ll be damned if you let me fall into a pit of depression on my own” He said.

“Sparky we’re sorry about the rumors but there is a reason we thought you and the Captain were sleeping together” Ozone said from the front.

“Yeah he treated you differently than he treated the rest of us, but Sparky, the man looks at you and follows you around like a lovesick puppy” Gaz says.

“Okay that’s enough I think she gets it” Price says causing the other men to chuckle. You smile leaning forward taking John’s hat off running your hands through his hair.

“Fuck you, I owe Blaze 50 pounds” You giggle.

“Excuse me?” John says.

“Before I came here he had bet me 50 pounds that part of the reason you wanted me on the task force was because you have a crush on me” You smile

“He wasn’t entirely wrong, but you are amazing darling, I mean you just saved my best men from a burning building, and I guess that bloody asshole too” Price said gesturing to the target who had his head thrown back on the wall drool falling from his lips.

“Is he going to be okay?” Soap asked.

“I think I injected him with enough tranq to take out a full grown horse,” You said. “He’ll be okay, I’d say one day in the infirmary and he should be okay for interrogation” Ghost nods his head taking the oxygen mask dropping the bottom half of the bag before lifting his own mask to breath again.

“Back to the topic on hand, we’re sorry Sparky, and thank you so much for saving our arses even though we’ve been horrible to you since you got here” Soap says all eyes landing on Ghost who hadn’t spoken a word since you saved him.

But the silent nod he gave you was enough for you to smile and accept their apologies. You grab the first aid kit as you move over tending to Soap and Gaz’s wounds.

“You know there’s not much I can say about Ghost but I hope you all know I’m in charge of PT this weekend, and I am petty enough to hold grudges even though I forgive you all” You smile wickedly as you bandage up Gaz since he only got grazed by the bullet on his leg.

“Oh we doubt your training can be worse than Ghost, he’s ruthless” Soap says earning him a glare from you that made him shut up. As you finish patching him up you take your seat next to John again.

“Ghost I expect you to follow Lieutenant Spark’s training this weekend, and if I hear a single complaint from any of you you’ll be on cleaning duty for a month” Price orders. The sound of Ghost hitting his head against the wall of the vehicle was enough satisfaction for you. You rest your hand atop John’s that was on your thigh again. You side eye him with a smile on your face as you link your fingers with his.

“Darling” John whispered to you.

“Yes dear?” You smile cheekily causing John to chuckle and turn pink.

“Did any of my comments ever bother you?” He asked.

“John, you’re the only man on this earth that can tease me and won’t get their head blown off” You said.

“Tease you- you say” John smirks.

[sunnyreincarnated]

Y’all be careful. Sparky is harassing a poc named blazed-citrus, accusing them of faking their race and what have you.

Do NOT interact with sparky. If he sends you similar asks ignore him.

[msweebyness]

Mirrorverse Crossover- What Happened Before…

Here’s a special from ya girl, Weeby! I figured we could use a little expansion on Sparky’s intro to the AU, and thanks so much to him for helping with this! Enjoy! @artzychic27 @imsparky2002

The heroes all stood, gathered around IsmaGenie as he prepared to grant Max’s wish, to see alternative versions of themselves from another world, like had happened to a hero of one of his comics. Whatever happened, it would surely be…interesting!

“Alright, is everyone ready?”, the blue-skinned genie asked, and at the nods from his companions, clapped his hands together, igniting a bright flash.

A portal suddenly opened up over the ceiling, and a certain wicked group of teens were dropped through it onto the floor, shouting and cursing at their painful landing.

“What the devil?!”, Mari DeVil shrieked, fretting as attempted to sort out her now ruffled fur coat.

“Again! AGAIN!”, MimRore squealed, clapping her hands and giggling maniacally as her friends gave her looks of annoyance.

“Where in the Sam Hill are we?”, Ivan Oogie groused, rubbing his head, which he had smacked on the floor as Mylensula fussed over him.

“Um, better question: Who in blazes are they?”, YzAlya piped up, pointing and drawing the other villains’ attention to the heroes, both groups just staring at each other.

“Why does that one dude have so much hair?”, Honest Nino whispered to IsmaScar, his eyes focused on Adripunzel, who was nervously messing with his long braid.

“Jeez, that one has to be like ten feet tall!”, Mireides muttered to her girlfriend, gawking at Demolition Denise.

“I feel the inexplicably strong urge to put a curse on that redhead.”, Juleficent said to QRC, her eyes narrowing as she looked at a nervous Sleeping Nath. The dark fae witch then yelped as her scepter was suddenly coated in ice beneath her fingers.

“Unless you want to have the worst case of frostbite you could even imagine experiencing, I’d suggest you leave Nathaniel alone.”, MarcElsa said darkly, summoning a barrage of icicles to his hand. A few of the villains nervously backed away.

“Looks like some of ‘em got a little magic of their own…”, Doctor Cabello mused.

“Marc, hold on.”, said Snow Mylene, gently placing a hand on her friend’s shoulder, “Let’s not jump to violence. What she said was out of line, yes, but they weren’t expecting to be brought here. Maybe they’re just a bit confused.”

This earned her a sneer of disgust from the sea witch, before IsmaGenie stepped up and explained the whole situation to the villains, the whole ‘Alternate-Universe-Counterparts’ thing. The villains looked the heroes over with varying degrees of disbelief and disgust. They were do-gooders in this world? How revolting!

“WAIT, WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT THING?!”, Kimton suddenly shouted, pointing at Julebeast, and looking at her fur, horns and claws with utter revulsion.

“A person, asshole.”, the beastly princess snarled, showing off her sharp teeth as she glared at the hunter, who tried to appear as if he wasn’t intimidated. QuasiIvan stepped up and put a bracing hand on his best friend’s shoulder.

“Ignore him, Jules. He's obviously an idiot who doesn't think before he speaks.”, the bulky teen placated, pointedly ignoring the looks of disgust he was getting from King Marc and some of the other more vain villains.

“Who needs brains when you have guns like these?”, Kimton said smugly, flexing his arms with an arrogant grin. LeOnDine swooned, while the heroes could only watch in disbelief. This was the Kim of the other world?

“Gods, ego much?”, Kimules scoffed as he crossed his arms over his chest (without meaning to, showing off that they were respectively buffer and broader than his counterpart’s) with annoyance. But at that moment his attention was caught by his girlfriend, who seemed to be having some trouble breathing as she stared at a certain villain who was bringing back unpleasant memories from the recent past.

As the young demigod tried to help the mermaid calm down, it was then that her condition was noticed by the villains, who saw the opportunity to strike. Mylensula noticed it seemed to be her the princess was afraid of, and gained a particularly wicked grin.

“Oh, whatever’s the matter, little mermaid? You’ve hardly said a word. Speak up! I'm sure you have a lovely voice.”, the sea witch said in a taunting cadence, fingering the shell necklace draped over her collar, which was starting to glow…only to yelp when there was suddenly an arrow pointing at her face.

“Leave her be, witch.”, Kagamerida said darkly, her eyes like flint as she glared at Mylensula, until Ivan Oogie stepped protectively in front of her and glared, which failed to intimidate the diminutive-statured princess in the slightest.

“Alright.”, BluRore piped up, “Let’s try to keep some semblance of civility here. We’re young adults, there’s no need for this nonsense.”, earning nods from the heroes and scoffs from the villains.

Madame Sabrina sneered in disgust as she looked over the group of heroes, her eyes finally coming to rest on the heroic Ismael, who met her glare head on with a quirked eyebrow.

“Why does one of your friends look like an oversized smurf?”, the purple-clad redhead demanded, pointing a manicured nail at the young genie.

“Why does one of your friends look like the lovechild of a burlap sack and the Pilsbury Doughboy?”, Aladdix sniped right back, leaving the villains agape, one in particular.

“WHY YOU LITTLE-”, Ivan Oogie started to shout, only for Mylensula to jump in and comfort him.

“Don’t listen to her, Spookyboo. You’re the most terrifyingly attractive man in the world in my eyes, and you always will be.”, she cooed, and much to the heroes’ discomfort and the villains’ resigned annoyance, the two began making out.

“Okay…can we PLEASE just try to have a normal, non-confrontational conversation here?”, BluRore said in exasperation, placing her head in her hands.

“And just what makes you think you can tell us what to do, Pixie Prick?”, Alix Khan snarled, stalking towards the fairy. Only to be stopped in her tracks by Miremba stepping in front of her girlfriend.

“Back off, runt.”, the royal lioness growled, and the two bared their teeth at each other.

“Alright, that’s just about enough!”, TiAlya called out, “Now, I’ll tell y’all what’s gonna happen. There ain’t gonna be any more insults, or any more fightin’. We’ll take it slow, one at a time, and we’ll sit down and get to know each other! Now, doesn’t that sound nice?”, she spoke in her “Mom Tone” which left no room for argument.

“And what if we refuse?”, Nath of Hearts snarled, reaching for his dagger, only to yelp when an arrow pierced the wall just to the side of his head, “Understood.”

“Alright…let’s get started! Who wants to go first?”, Fairy GodBro said with a nervous smile.

And there you have it! Leave your thoughts in the comments and reblogs!

[asksparkyblaze]

A flying fire horse yes

(OOC: TY FOR DRAWING MY LOVELY LOOKS GREAT!!)

Sucks that you have that whole love problem, but at least you have those friends of yours. Love is love, whether it's romantic or platonic. You love them, they love you. Friendship is magic (or something like that I guess)

+ I think I need to clean my glasses!

[bigasswritingmagnet]

With My Own Hands

Fandom: Girl Genius

Summary: A continuation of Zeetha, Daughter of Klaus and Gilgamesh, Son of Zantabraxus.

When Selnikov arrives at Mechanicsburg in his giant clanks, Zeetha doesn't have any Sparky lightning to take care of them. She's going to have to take care of it her way...which lands her in Mama Gkika's tender care. Here she discovers there are more unanswered questions in her life than she realized, like, why does her hair really look like that? And, why does she want to put this Gilgamesh guy in a headlock so badly?

Meanwhile, Axel Higgs is going to learn that the heart wants what the heart wants, whether she's a princess or a Baron's daughter.

AO3 Link

“Battle clanks!” was the shout from the top of the wall. “Headed straight for Mechanicsburg! Sound the alarm!”

“That’s the last thing we need,” Wooster said. “We better get out of here before—”

“She’s gone,” Krosp said.

“What?” Wooster looked around; sure enough, there was no sign of Miss Agatha anywhere.

“She and Gil took off before that guy even finished yelling.”

A memory flashed before his eyes: Zeetha's hands around his throat, her eyes blazing as she ordered him to get Agatha to Mechanicsburg and keep her safe, and if anything happens to her, it had better be because you're dead in a ditch with your skull caved in, or you're going to wish you were, Agent. Ardsley. Wooster.

Wooster shivered and scurried up the stairs after Agatha. Both she and Gil were half-hanging off the wall, marveling at the sight of the great, spider-shaped clanks striding their slow, purposeful way towards the town.

“They look amazing,”Gil said. “I wonder what kind of a power source they’re using. They must have some sort of in-unit generator.”

“Look at the guns!” Agatha sighed, starry eyed. “I can’t wait to see how they work.”

Wooster grimaced. He turned to Zuken to assure him that Agatha was normally more concerned with the wellbeing of people under her care—as far as he knew—but Bergermeister Zuken was nodding.

“Yes,” he said, with satisfaction, “that sounds about right.”  

"Get my troops out there, now!" Klaus roared. “I want the shock troopers on the ground, now, and call in the Fifth Airborne—”

“Someone is already taking care of it, Herr Baron,” Sun said.

“Who are they sending out? How many soldiers?”

“Just one. Perhaps they are going to…negotiate…”

Klaus’ hands gripped the side of the bed, and there was an ugly certainty in his voice.

“Tell me it isn’t—”

"Zeetha!" Agatha exclaimed. "What is she doing? She's going to get herself killed!"

"You said she was good at fighting clanks, right?" Gil said.

"I said she said she was good at it! I don't know if it's true!"

"It is," Wooster said, "but she's never fought clanks this big, and certainly nothing like it on her own."

"Why is she on her own?" Gil asked. "Surely the Baron would never send his own daughter out without some sort of back up."

Carson, still wearing that maniacal grin the castle had left him, cackled.

"She's wanted by the state!"

"She what?"

"Every soldier in town has orders to detain her on sight!" Carson went on. "By any means necessary!"

Agatha turned on Wooster.

"She what?"

"The Baron, er...had her...contained just before the incident at Sturmhalten, when we discovered that it wasn't your body that was collected from the circus."

"He locked her up because I tricked her?"

"N...nooo..." Wooster said, choosing his words carefully. "He locked her up because she said she would defy him every step of the way to protect you from him, because she believed he was being irrational in his pursuit of you."

Agatha blinked several times.

"She's...she's not mad at me about that?"

"She was far too glad that it meant you were alive," Wooster said, gently.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"I thought she might want to tell you herself," Wooster said. "I believe she feels somewhat responsible for your predicament."

Agatha looked down at the figure standing utterly alone in front of the massive war clanks, any one of which could destroy her in a dozen different ways without so much as scratching the hull.

"Oh Zeetha."

Klaus half rose in his bed, strangled in the wires, tubes, and catheters that kept him in place.

“Get me over there!”

“I will do no such thi—”

“Captain Dupree!”

Bang managed to drag her eyes away from the window and gave him a cheerful little salute.

Zeetha was utterly alone. Her sword was at her hip and what looked like an oversized quiver of arrows on her back. At her belt—Agatha squinted. It almost looked like a tool belt.  

“I am Rudolk Selnikov, Commander of the Knights of Jove! I hereby take commande of the empire in the name of the House of Valois! Surrender the town, the Heterodyne girl, and the Baron. Cooperate and no one will be harmed!”

"Leave or die,” Zeetha called in return, her voice echoing across the field.

"Short and sweet," Gil said. "A little blunt but—"

Klaus, pale and trembling, clung to the window sill Dupree had propped him up against. Sun wondered how much of it was pain, and how much was fear.

“Have a plan,” Klaus whispered, hoarsely. “Please have a plan.”

“She’s going to get fried,” Krosp said.

“No,” Agatha said, softly. Her mind went back to the day she had met Zeetha, a lifetime ago. “I think…I think I know what she’s doing. These were built for power, intimidation. They’re big. And big means slow.”

"This is your final warning, girl!"

"I am Zeetha Wulfenbach! And that was your only warning."

Someone shouted to open fire, but Zeetha was already racing up the front leg of the closest spider clank; the soldiers’ fire was blocked by their own machine. The leg began to move, curling in, the weight of the clank tipping back onto the other three legs.

But by the time the angle of the leg was such that Zeetha would be unable to keep hold, she had reached the uppermost joint of the leg. From the quiver on her back, she drew a metal spike; from her tool belt, she drew a large mallet. Zeetha rammed the spike between the joint and the upper section of the leg and swung the mallet hard, three times, until it was buried deep. She repeated this process at the bottom, then raced up the leg towards the body of the clank itself.

The soldiers, not expecting their quarry to run into the gunfire, hesitated. Zeetha leapt over their heads and went over the dome of the spider clank and down the other side. Agatha and the others scurried down the wall to keep her in view.

Zeetha slid down the rounded dome of the spider clank; just before reaching the edge she jumped.

She drew her sword.

Gravity brought her down.

Zeetha drove her blade into the gap between the joint and leg, severing the pistons that connected them.

The leg buckled. Panicking, the engineers inside tried to re-balance, but the leg on the other side was jammed, the spikes holding fast, and the remaining two legs could only stagger back and forth, helplessly.

Slowly, ponderously, the machine tipped forward and hit the ground.

Gil had been right—the machine had been powered by some sort of generator, and now it exploded in a great, oily fireball that missed Zeetha by inches. The woman herself springboarded off the falling clank, somersaulted through the air, and hit the ground in a neat tuck and roll that had her on her feet just beyond the flames of the ruined machine behind her.  

"Ashtara above," Gil breathed.

Bang let out a high-pitched squeal of delight, clapping her hands and bouncing in place.

Zeetha, barely breathing hard, turned to the other clanks.

"Surrender," she said.

The crew of two of the clanks immediately tossed their rifles over the edge.

The third began to fire up the gun, filling the air with a high-pitched hum as a blue glow gathered deep within the mouth of the cannon.

“Too slow,” Agatha whispered. Moments before the cannon fired, Zeetha feinted right, then darted left. The cannoneers fell for it, and the shot went wide.

It was the only shot they had time for, and this time, Zeetha didn’t bother attacking the clank.

She was up the clank’s leg in a moment, leapt in the air and came down on the soldiers like a fury from hell, sword swinging. In less than a minute, the soldiers on the outside of the clank lay dead, and Zeetha darted inside the machine’s crew cabin. A few moments later, the clank slowly subsided, lowering itself to the ground. The fog blew away for the final time to reveal the clank's remaining crew emerging with their hands behind their heads, Zeetha bringing up the rear, wiping her sword down. 

"She did it! " Agatha cried, almost levitating in her excitement. "She did it she did it she did it did you see her she was amazing!"

"She really is that good," Gil said, impressed.

“Yes,” Wooster said, trying to subtly check if he’d survived the ten heart attacks he’d just experienced. “Yes she is.”  

Even with Bang’s jaw wired shut, the delight and excitement in her voice matched the starry shine in her eyes, her incoherent yammering almost drowning out the Baron’s screams of agony as she dragged him back across the room. Sun, once more turned away to prevent himself from having to act on his oath to allow no pain to come to his patients, was not surprised—she and Zeetha had always gotten along quite well.  

When Klaus’ screaming subsided, Sun looked to him. The Baron was back on the bed, breathing hard, but smiling. At second look, however, Sun realized it was a wry, sad smile.

“She did quite well,” Sun said. “I am impressed.”

“It was incredibly foolish,” Klaus said. “She could have been killed a dozen times over. But…yes, it was quite a feat. I’m glad to know she is as good as she thinks she is. Perhaps this means she won’t get herself killed after all.”

His smile faltered.

"When I think what she could have been," he said to himself. "If only I hadn't been so..."

"Stubborn?" Sun suggested. "Foolhardy? Reckless?"

"Careless," Klaus said, closing his eyes and sinking back against the pillows. "If I hadn't been so careless." 

Zeetha paused before she got too close to the Wulfenbach soldiers, letting the prisoners carry on ahead. She should get involved—find out who was responsible and take them to her father—but it was far too risky. She was sure that every Wulfenbach soldier in the empire had orders to detain her on sight, and if she got into the same room as her father he’d lock her up again.

Although, she thought proudly, most of the soldiers would hesitate to confront her, now that they had seen what she was capable of. She had just taken a spider clank on her own—with nothing but a sword, a hammer, and a few railroad spikes. Those Sparks could scoff at her all they liked now. They would all know she didn't need to be a Spark to take them down. She was lightheaded with delight at her own success.

���She hoped it was delight. 

"Hey, dot vuz real nize vork, sveethot," said a voice beside her. Zeetha started and looked to her left. A Jӓger she didn't recognize—green skin, green eyes, one arm—grinned at her. She stiffened. The regular soldiers might hesitate to fight her, but the Jӓgers? She’d never lacked for sparring partners before; there was no doubt that they’d be practically lining up for the chance to go toe-to-toe with the woman who could take down an army single-handed.

"I don't want to fight you," she said.  

"Dot's good!" said another voice. A female Jӓger—Zeetha assumed she was a Jӓger, but she had a scarf over her mouth—was now on Zeetha's right. "Ve dun vant to fight hyu either."

She looked at them again, more carefully.

"My father didn't send you?"

"No, ve iz vild Jӓgers. Hy iz Jenka und dot iz Dimo."

"Did...did Agatha send you? Is she alright, did she make it here okay? Did she..." She swayed slightly.

"Ve came vit Mizz Agatha, yez," Dimo said, cheerfully. He leaned against her, subtly. The Jӓgers began to walk. Zeetha absentmindedly let them lead her.

"I need to find her," Zeetha said, urgently. "I need to tell her I'm not mad at her. I forgot to tell Wooster to tell her that I'm not...I'm not..."  Her feet seemed very far away. "What's wrong with me?"

"Hyu iz a liddle bit in shock," Jenka said, kindly. "Und hyu got a liddle bit shot."

"Oh... That's bad. I have to get out of here," she said, panic rising. "I can't pass out in front of everyone, I'll, I'll ruin it."

Jenka and Dimo nodded at each other, approvingly. They liked a girl who understood the importance of drama in a display of power.

"How about hyu vanish from der battlefield all mysterious like?" Dimo suggested. Zeetha nodded, which was a mistake.

Jenka and Dimo both leaned on her now, and picked up the pace.

Zeetha did not black out, exactly, because she had not stopped walking, but one moment they were outside and the next they were in the cool darkness of an underground tunnel.

"Where are we going?"

"Ve'z taking you to Mama," Jenka said. By the gentle, patient tone, this was not the first time Zeetha had asked. There were two new Jӓgers with them, who introduced themselves, in the same tone of voice, as Oggie and Maxim.

“Who is Ma—” Zeetha raised a hand to push her hair out of her face, and froze. "My headband," she said, frantically. She spun around, and kept going, the world tipping wildly back and forth. Hands grabbed her and steadied her body, but her head continued to go around and around. "I need to find—I have to cover my hair." 

"Hyu hair?" 

Zeetha reached up and touched her hair, the roots of which were not brown, but a vibrant emerald green. She'd only gone without the special shampoo for a little over a week, but the hair fungus had taken already taken hold, infecting her entire scalp.

"My hair, I have to...My headband must have fallen off, I need to find it...Have to cover my hair before anyone sees…"

"Hyu need a hat!" Maxim said, eagerly. "A big vun dot von't fall off!"

"Vit hyu name on it, in case it gets lost!" Oggie chimed in.

"Sure," Zeetha said. "That'd be great."

And blacked out for real.

She woke in an unfamiliar room in an unfamiliar bed, looking up at a face she almost recognized. 

"Father?" she tried to say, but the words caught on her dry tongue and cracked lips.

The man leaned forward, and Zeetha saw it definitely was not her father, and she wasn't sure why she'd thought it was. He was about her age, with short brown hair and a proud nose in the center of a round face. He helped her sit up and put a cup to her lips. She drank it, too tired to be suspicious. 

Whatever was in the cup cleared her head and when she sat back she was able to take in the expression on his face. Wary and suspicious. 

"Zur baken Skiff?" he asked. Zeetha blinked. Her head must not be as clear as she thought. 

"What?" 

"Zur baken Skiff?" 

"Oh boy," she said. "I didn't hit my head when I passed out, did I?"

"No," the man said. "I was just checking something. Have you ever heard of a place called Skifander?"

"No. Who are you?"

"Where is your mother from?"

"What a great question, if you ever find out let me know, who are you?" Zeetha snapped, temper rising.

The man held up his hands in surrender.

"Gilgamesh, son of Chump and Zanta—"

"Son of who?"

Gilgamesh sighed.

"Call me Gil. I'm Agatha's kolee. Her...trainer. Her friend. You are the daughter of the Baron Wulfenbach, who is actively trying to imprison and kill her.” He folded his arms across his chest and the dislike was evident on his face. “Agatha wants me to make sure you stay safe. I think we should keep you locked in here until she takes the—"

Zeetha threw the drink in his face. Gil yelped and flailed, falling backwards. Zeetha threw the blanket over his head and raced out the door. She made it all of half a meter before she skidded to a halt before she hit the three Jӓgers blocking the hallway, a blonde, brunette, and redhead. 

No, not Jӓgers. Human women, but with sharp teeth and pointed ears and...not a lot of clothing. 

"If you're going to try escaping," one of them said, "you might want to put some pants on, first." 

Zeetha looked down and gasped. She darted inside the room, nearly colliding with Gil, who was chasing after her. He was still clutching the blanket; she tore it from his hands and held it over herself.

"What happened to my clothes?" she demanded, backing away from him, red faced. "Did you take them?"

"Relax, sweetheart," said the brunette Jӓgerfraulein. "We did."

"And we were perfect gentlemen about it," said the blonde Jӓgerfraulein, archly.

"We even did your hair," said the redhead.

"My hair—?" Zeetha grabbed a handful of her hair and dragged it in front of her face.

It was sleek. It was silky. It was shiny.

It was bright green.

"The cut still isn't great on you," the brunette said, "you should try growing it out."

"What did you do?" she shrieked. "How did you even do this?"

"Just a little hair treatment," the redhead said, shrugging casually, although Zeetha could tell she was surprised by the reaction. "We thought you'd be happy, considering what a nightmare it was before."

A shadow filled the doorway, and a low, smooth voice spoke.

"Vy dun hyu lie back down, sveethot," it said. "Hyu still isn't all better." The woman in the doorway was a Jӓger. There was absolutely no question about it. Even if she hadn't been nine feet tall with turquoise hair, Zeetha could tell that those nails were claws and those fangs were real.

"Hy iz General Gkika," she said, ushering Zeetha gently back onto the bed. "Hyu can call me Mama."

"Gkika. I've heard about you," Zeetha said, obediently laying back down but keeping the blanket firmly wrapped around herself. "Khrizhan mentioned you."

Gkika preened, just a little, not seeing the amused looks her fraulein traded each other behind her back.

"Vell, Hy hope he told hyu Hy know vut Hy iz doing." Abruptly, Gkika turned her disapproving look at Gil, who was damp and bright red. "Hyu said hyu could vatch her."

"She caught me by surprise!" Gil said. "I didn't think she'd be that fast after getting shot in the leg!" 

"What!" Zeetha tried to check her legs without uncovering herself. "Where?"

"Right here."

Gkika began to move the blanket, but Zeetha firmly moved it right back and glared at her. The general put her hands on her hips.

"Hyu know, Hy heard hyu made a pretty big deal about not caring if people saw hyu vit hyu clothes off."

"There's walking around in my underwear on my own airship, and there's being completely naked in a bed surrounded by strangers," Zeetha snapped. Gkika's lips twitched.

"Maybe if Hy tell dem to turn around?" 

Zeetha glared at her, but allowed her to move the blanket. Gkika was polite enough to move it only as much as she needed to, but Zeetha tensed up anyway at the horrifying sight of a small, mechanical device apparently implanted in her leg.

“What is that?”

“Yeah,” Gil said, fascinated. “What is that?”

“Is a little ting vun of de masters made.”

“You put a Heterodyne device in me?” Zeetha exclaimed.

“Hy’z going to take it back out again,” Mama chided.

“How?” Gil asked, and Zeetha recognized all too well the tones of a Spark whose interests had been piqued. “You’ve got it embedded in a major arteraahh!”

His scream came when Mama yanked the device clear out of Zeetha’s leg. Zeetha bit back her own scream, although she did clamp her hands over the wound.

“Would you relax?” she demanded of Gil, some strange internal competition demanding that she be more composed than he was. “She obviously knows what she’s doing.”

Tentatively, she released the death grip on her leg and wiped away the blood. The pain had gone, and only a starburst-shaped scar showed any sign that she’d been injured at all.

“Hy had a feeling hyu iz de kind of girl dot likes to keep her battle scars,” Gkika said.  

Zeetha’s heart began to race, panic rising, her mind screaming that she had been here too long, she needed to find Agatha, where was Agatha? Zeetha stamped it all back down. She was a warrior, damn it, and her father’s daughter.

“This would be weeks of healing,” she said, keeping her voice as casual as possible.  

"Hyu vuz hurt bad, und ve need hyu on hyu feet real qvick, so Hy gave hyu some of de battledraught."

"That kills people," Zeetha pointed out, still a very polite voice. “The Jӓgers on the ship said it makes non-Jӓgers explode.”

"Ya, but Hy knew hyu could take it. Hyu poppa made plenty of...improvements, yez? Oddervize hyu vouldn't haff been able to do dot trick vit de clanks." 

Zeetha felt herself bristling.

“It wasn’t a trick,” she snapped. “It was skill.”

“Sure,” Mama said, irritatingly casual. “Und hyu poppa made sure hyu had de strength und speed to go vit it.”

Zeetha shot to her feet, teeth bared.

“I didn’t need his help! I did it on my own!”

“Hokay, sveetie,” Mama said, putting her hands on Zeetha’s shoulders. “You relax und—”

Zeetha’s fist hit Gkika in the solar plexus, actually knocking her back a step. Gkika responded with a punch that sent Zeetha flying into the wall and landing in a heap on the bed. Zeetha stayed put, waiting for her heart rate to slow and the burning anger to fade.

“That’ll be the battle draught,” she said, calmly.

“Yez, hyu should mind hyu temper for de next few days. De draught can make hyu…”

“Exciteable?” Gil suggested. “Emotional?”

“Energetic,” Mama said, diplomatically.

Zeetha sat up and ran her fingers through her hair, holding it front of her face again and watching the slide slide up and down it in a way it had never done before. She would have thought it pretty, if she didn’t know better.

"I guess it fed the fungus, too." 

"De vut?"

"The fungus. The one that's turned my head into a cabbage?" Zeetha said, snidely. Gkika tipped her head to one side. 

"Dot's not a fungus, sveetie. Dot's just hyu hair." 

"We used regular conditioner and hair dye remover,” one of the Jӓgerfraulein said. “The stuff we used when Olga tried to be a redhead and came out looking like a—”

The blonde girl, beet red, punched her in the arm, hard. Zeetha barely noticed.  

"Oh, please, so my hair is just naturally green?" 

"That's why I asked if your mother was from Skifander," Gil said, suddenly. "Lots of people have naturally green hair." 

Zeetha's face went tight. Everyone tensed again. But Zeetha forced herself to relax - or at least to look relaxed - and flicked the lock of hair away. 

"I don't know anything about my mother. Father never liked to talk about her. And he never mentioned a place called Skifander, either." 

There was a knock on the door and Ognian stuck his head in, gaze politely averted. 

"Dere iz some people to see Mizz Zeetha," he said. "Und Hy brought de clothes hyu asked for." 

He handed the box to one of the Jӓgerfraulein, and did not avert his gaze from her in the slightest. His cheeky grin earned him a flirtatious smile and a saucy wink before he ducked back out again.

Mama set the box next to the bed. It was full of a variety of outfits that seemed…showy. Zeetha dipped a hand in and pulled out a dress that was made of almost a whole meter of golden fabric.

“We got everything from our costume wardrobe that we thought might fit you.”

“I don’t suppose you have trousers.”

“Sure,” the brunette said, grinning. “But they might be a little short on you, Baroness Long Legs.”

“Turn around,” Zeetha ordered Gil. He rolled his eyes, but obeyed.

“Europans,” he said, exasperated. “I swear, it’s a surprise you people even take your clothes off for sex.”

“Is that what you’ve been ‘significant pause teaching’ Agatha?”

Gil’s ears went bright red; he whirled around, mouth open to shout. Gkika grabbed him and spun him back around again.

���I! You! That! She never! That is not—! We—!”

“You’re the one who hesitated before you said ‘teacher’.”  

“I hesitated because it’s not a direct translation! I teach her how to fight!”

“Is that what they call it these days.”

“You—!”

 Once more Mama spun him back around.

“Hyu stay put. Hyu get dressed.”   

Zeetha wasn’t sure why it was so enjoyable to tweak this Gilgamesh, son of Chump and Zantha, but it was. It felt…appropriate, somehow.

From the scraps of fabric the girls had called “costumes”, Zeetha selected a rather nice blue vest which—slightly irked by Mama’s comment about Zeetha’s unexpected need for decorum—she decided to wear without a shirt. The trousers were, indeed, too short, but there was a pair of leggings that didn’t tear when she tested a high kick that “accidentally” almost hit Gil in the head. “Fortunately”, Gil managed to dodge.

“Okay,” Zeetha said, “First thing, I need to find Agatha. She needs as much help as she can get, taking…the…castle…”

“Hyu okay dere sveethot?”

Zeetha didn’t answer. There was a large standing mirror on the other side of the room. Zeetha didn’t exactly avoid mirrors, but her hair had always been a source of chagrin, and she certainly didn’t enjoy looking at it. Now…

She barely recognized herself.

Now that her hair hung straight, instead of frizzing up wildly around her head, the hideous bob framed her face pleasingly. Her eyes looked larger and brighter. The color was dazzling, attention grabbing. It was undeniably her natural color, right down to her eyebrows. It looked…right. Like a missing puzzle piece had finally been found. The last of Zeetha Braxus had fallen away, and she was finally, completely, Zeetha Wulfenbach, heir to the Empire.

“Hyu okay, sveetie?”

“I…yes. I’m. I’m fine.” She dragged her eyes away from the mirror and fingered a lock of her hair. Silky and smooth. She could probably even run a comb through it.

Her father had to have known. Why hadn’t he told her the truth when he told her who she was? Why hadn’t he at least told her when she was presented to the world as his daughter? There were many things he didn’t tell her, but this might be the only thing he’d ever lied to her about.

As far as she knew.

“I’m fine,” she said, more confidently.

“Come on in, boys!” Mama called. Ognian, Dimo, and Maxim came tumbling in, smiling widely.

“Ve got hyu sword!”

“Und hyu knife!”

“Und hyu hat!”

“My what?”

[iistxrmyskyii]

Reya Timeline

Just wanted to give out a brief overview of Reya’s life for people to know ^^

CW: Suicide, burns, scars, mental struggle, harassment

1 years old:

- Reya is born

- Mother: Zuri Lalokai, Father: Manu Lalokai

- Born at the ocean side

2 years old:

- Reya meets Aria

- The two become very fast friends, along with their parents

5 years old:

- Reya’s family is forced to move to Montell

8 years old:

- Reya gets first job as an entertainer

- Literally loves it

- Small gigs

10 years old:

- Aria’s family goes broke

- Lalokai’s decide to help out

- Reya helps Aria get an entertainment job

15 years old:

- Aria + Reya are full fledged entertainers

- Reya slowly rises to fame, Aria not so much

16 years old:

- Aria becomes a hunter instead

- Introduces Reya to Tony, Sparky & Warren

17 years old:

- Reya is almost followed home by a pretty well built man

- Warren gets her home safely

- Why Reya was so afraid when Bodie scared off the hunters

- The Blaze Incident: Reya accidentally walks too far behind a safety line at one of her shows and gets burned all over her upper back.

- She decides to take a break from her entertainer job

18 years old:

- Aria isn’t heard from for days

- Reya goes to Aria’s house and finds her dead in her bedroom (I’ll spare the details, but it’s very obvious it was a suicide)

- Reya’s mental health takes a very large decline, to the point where she hides away from people

- Warren comes to ask her for a favour

19 years old:

- Reya becomes a full fledged hunter, per Warren’s request

- Reya gets in a very bad fight with Warren, Tony & Sparky so she decides to separate from them

- Reya gets caught in a trap during a mission, and is found by a mysterious halfblood.

The start of Gator Boys.

[asksparkyblaze]

Meows

#70

[asksparkyblaze]

Mod: SHES LOVELY!! omg thank you!!!

Some fanart for @ask-narratordoe and @asksparkyblaze

[painttasticpony]

All danger seems to be avoided purely by dumb luck.

[sparkedblaze]

“Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.” -G.K. Chesterton

⚡️Hey! I'm Sparky or Blaze or any number of nicknames you wanna give me, I'm not really particular

🏳️‍⚧️My pronouns are he/they/it, but idrc as long as you don't call me she/her ♋18+ 👍🏼Writing, math, escape rooms, logic puzzles, movies, youtube, Dr. Pepper (I have an addiction to the stuff) 👎🏼Rootbeer, bugs, slimy things, loud noises, crowds, going out in public, getting wet 💔Triggers: S/A, S/H, bugs, clowns, SPIDERS (anything with more than 6 legs shouldn't exist, and 6 is already pushing it)

🤬I curse so please use caution

Newsies Discord Server

Ask Me About X

✍🏼What/where I write: Newsies on AO3 Harry Potter Mauraders on Instagram

🎨More arty things: LinkTree Omg Newsies as Vines

🚫DNI: TERFs, -phobes, racists, anti-, yk this list could go on forever just don't be an asshole

🪭Fandoms: Newsies (1992, Live, and UKsies), Harry Potter (fuck jkr), Percy Jackson, My Hero Academia, Haikyu!!, Sk8 the Infinity, Hamilton, In the Heights, Heathers, Be More Chill, Six, 21 Chump Street, Legally Blonde the Musical, Mean Girls the Musical, 9-1-1, West Side Story, Cats the Musical, Panic There are probably more

🎶Favorite music: Age of Madness, Newsies, In the Heights, Alec Benjamin, DCOM soundtracks

🗣️Characters I can and will talk about for hours: Any newsie (but especially Albert, Elmer, Jack, Davey, Les, Mush, the Delanceys), Peter Pettigrew, Severus Snape, Sturgis Podmore, Pandora Lovegood, Leo Valdez, Luke Castellan, Frank Zhang, Dabi, Shoto Todoroki, Iwaizumi Hajime, Nishinoya Yuu, Kojiro Nanjo (Joe), John Laurens, Pip Hamilton, Usnavi, Benny, JD, Heather Chandler, Michael Mell, Katherine Howard, Anne of Cleves, Justin Laboy, Emmett Forrest, Janis, Christopher Diaz, Athena Grant, Mouthpiece, Balkan, Baby John, Pouncival, Tumblebrutus, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, Ray Hall, Heather Nill

🎙️Relationships you couldn't get me to stop talking about if you tried: Spralbert, Javey, Blush, Pink Flowerpatch, Xenora, Percabeth, Frazel, Hot Wings, MatchaBlossom, Lams, Boyf Riends, Buddie, NillHall

🫶🏻Mutuals:

@caw-salem Fuck u roomie 🥰

@the-lavender-lapin My babyyyyyy🩵

@noxexistant thank you for gracing my pfp with gay pryder 😭🙌🏼

@raggedy-albert My fellow Albert enthusiast 🧑🏻‍🦰

@kellyscowboy UR HCS ARE SO GOOOOOD 😍

@hexmari LOML IM GROVELING AT YOUR FEET 🙏🏼

🧐Special interests: Newsies, dinosaurs, DND

🎉Fun facts:

I play DND

I like math because I understand it almost all the time (and if I don't I can usually look it up and figure it out), words are hard

I'm in PST

I have a dog that only has 3 legs, his name is Porch

I have anxiety, depression, bipolar II

I have a lot of the symptoms of autism, but am not formally diagnosed bc I can't currently afford a therapist

🕳️Current hyperfixation: ——————————

[purplefangirl42]

Clonetober- Day 5

Prompt: “I can’t come back.”/role reversal/dark side AU

Prompt list by @ladysongmaster Divider by djarrex

Tags/Warnings: Mentions of Character Death, Grief, Canon Character Guest Appearances

Sparx took a deep breath before shutting the canopy on the top of the two person fighter. He stared at the controls in front of him, giving his course one final think through. Once he committed to this, there was no going back. But, he needed to save them; they needed him to do this.

Solidifying his decision, he started the fighter and took off from the landing field. The comm light flashed at him, indicating that someone was trying to raise him, but he ignored it. Soon enough, he left the military airspace and ascended into the atmosphere. He needed to get away before anyone could stop him.

His personal comm on his wrist started blinking at him this time, which could only mean that whoever was trying to contact him knew what he was doing. He pressed the button to activate it, allowing the person on the other end to come through.

“Where are you going, Captain Sparky?” a raspy voice asked. “Everyone’s got their pants in a twist down here.”

“For backup. I’m not going to let them destroy their lives like this.”

“You could have asked for our help. You know we don’t exactly play by the rules.”

Sparx punched in the hyperspace coordinates as he approached the jump location. He didn’t want to admit that the man on the other end of the conversation was right, but he knew that more people fighting with him would be beneficial. And who else would fit this unorthodox mission?

“Would you help?” he asked. “I know you cared about her too.”

“Send me coordinates and I’ll make sure Hunter agrees.”

Sparx did as requested before resting his hand on the lever to enter hyperspace. The coordinates were set, he just needed to jump.

“I have a stop to make and then I’ll meet you there,” he said. “Thanks for the help.”

“Don’t thank me yet, reg.”

Sparx cut off the transmission and pushed the lever forward, letting the stars blur around him as he entered hyperspace.

Howzer stood between Cham and Eleni, staring blankly at the hologram of General Kenobi. He could not believe the news the Jedi had just delivered, the words still ringing in his ears. 

Lena and Blaze were dead. Chip and Keebo had disappeared. 

“Has Keebo tried to contact you at all?” Kenobi asked. “Every attempt we’ve made to contact either one of them has gone unanswered.”

“What does Captain Sparx say about all this?” Howzer spoke up. “If anyone would know where they went, it would be him.”

He didn’t like the look that crossed Kenobi’s face at his question. 

“He has disappeared as well. He took a fighter and went rogue. If I had to guess, he went after them.”

Howzer cursed softly under his breath and stepped away from the table to stand near the window. He could hear the Syndullas wrapping up the conversation in the background, saying that they would let the Jedi know if they heard anything, before the transmission was cut and the glow from the projector disappeared. After a moment, Howzer felt a gentle touch on his shoulder.

“Howzer?” Eleni asked. “Are you alright?”

“Honestly? I don’t know,” he said. “How could they just disappear like that?”

Eleni moved to stand beside him and he turned his gaze to look at her.

“I know my sister loved her master dearly, not to mention the affection she had for Commander Blaze. To lose them both at once? That is entirely too much for someone her age, no matter her training and maturity.”

“But why would Chip go with her?”

Eleni shrugged and looked out the window.

“I cannot answer that, but perhaps he can.”

Howzer followed her example and looked outside to see a figure standing in the courtyard below. Double pauldron, blond mohawk, and armor with lightning bolts.

“Sparx,” Howzer said softly before bolting out of the room, heading for the exit. 

Sparx waited in the courtyard of the Syndulla home, tapping his foot impatiently on the dirt. He knew Howzer had seen him, so he only had to wait for him to come down. Before long, the front door opened and he saw the man leave the building, almost running to meet him.

“Sparx, what the kriff is going on?” Howzer asked breathlessly as he approached. “Kenobi called and said what happened.”

“What did he tell you?”

“He said..he said that Lena and Blaze were killed in an accident,” Howzer said. “That Chip and Keebo disappeared and that you had also gone missing. So I ask again, what is going on?”

Sparx scoffed and ran one of his hands through his thick curls. 

“It was no accident. They were killed by someone else’s carelessness,” he hissed. “The Council tried to enact a punishment but they were overruled by the higher ups. Keebo didn’t like that and decided to go where she could find justice.”

“And Chip? He was always the most logical, the most rule-following of us all. Why would he go with her?” 

“He felt so guilty. He tried to save Lena and she slipped away before he could. I don’t know if he went because he felt he could keep Keebo safe, or if he’s looking for the same justice she is.”

“And you?” Howzer said, pointing a finger directly at Sparx’s chest. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to get them, and I need your help.”

When they exited hyperspace a few hours later, Howzer was surprised to see another ship waiting for them. He wouldn’t think that Dathomir would be a place many would come to visit. He was even more surprised when Sparx let out a sigh of relief in front of him.

“Thank the maker. They came.”

“Who?” Howzer asked. 

“Our backup.”

Sparx navigated the fighter in the direction of the ship, pressing the button on the console to hail the occupants onboard.

“Come in Havoc Marauder, this is Captain Sparx and Captain Howzer.”

“We read you, Captain,” a deep husky voice answered. “You mind telling us your plan?”

“We go down there and get them out.”

Howzer furrowed his brow at Sparx’s answer. He didn’t seem to have a plan other than getting Chip and Keebo off the planet below. Which didn’t give them much to go on. 

“I was able to track Commander Torra’s comm,” a higher, lilted voice said. “I should be able to pinpoint their location from that.”

“We’ll follow you and go from there.”

The transmission ended and Howzer leaned forward to watch the other ship turn and head for the surface of the planet.

“Who are those guys?”

“The only people that would be crazy enough to help us.”

Sparx flew after the larger ship, following them as they descended. They eventually came to a stop on the edge of a large cliff face and landed in a clearing covered in mist with a reddish tint. Sparx and Howzer climbed out of their fighter as the ramp lowered on the other ship. Four men descended the ramp, clad in the strangest trooper armor Howzer had ever seen. 

“Her signal was coming from a cave near here,” one of the men said, the higher voice from before. “We can only hope that the two of them are together.”

“Okay, the first thing we need to do is try to talk some sense into them. Howzer and I should be able to get through to them, but we may need some help, especially with Keebo.”

Howzer watched as a tall thin man with a crosshair painted on his helmet stepped forward.

“I’ll come with you,” he said in a raspy voice.

“I was just about to ask if you would. Hunter and Wrecker, I’d like the two of you to stand guard outside. Tech, keep your ship ready in case we need to leave in a hurry.”

“Is that a possibility?” the man Howzer guessed was Tech asked.

“One thing about Dathomir is that you can never be too prepared,” Sparx said. “Now let’s go before trouble comes looking for us.”

Howzer followed Sparx and the tall, thin trooper into the cave Tech had said Keebo’s signal was coming from. He hoped that she truly was in there and that Chip was with her. They needed to bring them home.

Sparx could feel a tingle run down his spine as the three of them entered the cave. Something was telling him that there was something very wrong, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. After some time, they hadn’t come across anyone, but there was a strange green glow coming from further in the cave. 

“Do we continue towards the creepy glowing or turn around?” Hozwer asked from behind him. 

“I wouldn’t go towards it if you know what’s good for you,” a voice called out from their left.

All three heads snapped towards the sound and Sparx heard the soft tsk from behind him, probably from Crosshair.

“It looks like we found one of our strays,” the sniper drawled. 

Sparx rushed over to where a man was manacled to the wall and kneeled beside him. It was Chip, battered and bruised. Sparx tried yanking on the chains that held his brother to the wall, trying to break them free, with no success. A shuffling noise came from behind him and then Crosshair was handing him a laser cutter. Sparx nodded his thanks and got to work on the cuffs. 

“Where’s Keebo?” he asked as he cut through the metal bindings. 

“They took her,” Chip answered weakly. “They promised her justice, but it came with a price. When she wasn’t sure she was ready to pay it, they took her anyway and left me here to rot.”

Sparx looked back to his companions and saw Howzer kneel down beside him as well. He reached out for the cutter, gesturing towards the glowing light with his head.

“I’ll stay with him, you two go save Keebo.”

Sparx relinquished the cutter and got back to his feet. He looked to Crosshair and with a nod from the sniper, the two of them took off down the path towards the green glow. Eventually, they reached the source of the glow and found themselves face to face with a number of women dressed in red. Keebo lay on a table before them, her eyes closed but her chest rose and fell, meaning she was still alive.

Sparx pulled the blasters from the holsters on his hips and he heard Crosshair assemble his rifle beside him. The women in red all started to advance on them, apart from one that stood beside the table, her hands hovering over Keebo. 

“I’ll take the four on the right, you handle the other three,” Crosshair said, raising his rifle.

Once Howzer had removed the manacles from the cave wall, he tried to get Chip to his feet. Chip, however, wouldn’t budge.

“You gotta help me out here,” Howzer said. “We need to get you out of this cave.”

“What’s the point?” Chip asked dejectedly. “I can’t come back. Not after all that’s happened.”

Howzer knelt in front of his brother and took his chin in his hand.

“What are you talking about? Of course you can come back. What happened wasn’t your fault.”

Chip looked up at him, sorrow and hopelessness in his eyes.

“You don’t know that, you weren’t there. She was right in front of me and I couldn’t help her.”

“I heard from others what happened. It was too late, there was nothing you could do. You know that she wouldn’t want this for you. Lena would want you to carry on, you have to know that.”

“What if I can’t get past this?” Chip asked. 

“You will. Sparx and I will help you. That’s what brothers are for.”

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this! Please reblog, like, and comment! This will have a part 2 later in the month!

[fatummortem]

Midnight Suns vs Characterization

So this is my views on the differences, just putting them down for reference considering I’m debating on making the Hunter & for Robbie. Probs touch base a little with the other characters in the game but it’s just me getting my thoughts out. The only storyline spoilers touched on is Johnny. Other is behind the scenes mention of things. So if ya wanna be fresh for the game pls don’t read. Unless you like spoilers then go to town. But there is no mention of major spoilers that exclude Johnny Blaze. Maybe a background spoiler on Peter.

Wanda’s story seems interesting to me, not sure about her disconnection with her brother & the lack of her kids though i suppose later on in comics that does happen. Nico i think is the closest to canon? Even maybe Blade’s story. though don’t quote me on that I'm not an avid Blade reader. Not really sure about the avengers side of it, i don’t read them anymore. Tony is the one with the most growth I’ve noticed? But if you do more than one playthru you lose it. Just for the fact the first five levels of friendship (and maybe 1 or 2 levels of the other form of friendship) carry over. So you miss out on most of his growth because you don’t get those scenes again.

Robbie, well Robbie mostly gets picked on? Literally when meditation comes up it’s said to empty your mind like Robbie’s head or what not in one conversation. o.0 Though I guess it’s nice to pick on someone within the team & Robbie doesn’t seem to mind but it just seems really odd because he’s really smart. He is stupid in the game when it comes to magic, considering he doesn’t have Johnny as a mentor (though the comics kinda went away from that too) it makes sense he couldn’t be well versed in it. 

&& he’s a hardcore gamer? Like gaming while being a single parent is extremely hard. Especially if you have one job, you have to balance it perfectly & carefully so it doesn’t border on neglect. I mean it’s what I found because i’m a gamer & was a single parent. 

Robbie, he balances school, a job, street racing & ghost riding. Like he literally has never gotten into a relationship bcuz raising his brother is his biggest concern. I guess if he played with his brother on off hours it could work but multiplayer games eat up more time, energy & money. It just seems to me that Robbie would put the money for gaming towards buying a wheelchair for Gabe as he mentioned what he can afford is the low rung. But I am extremely guilty of working for the ‘r’ us just to get a discount so i could game with my kiddo. Or waiting until taxes came around to actually buy games/systems i wanted when the kiddo was young & i still had custody. But i had to stay away from multiplayer games just to be able to stay focused on the kiddo. 

I love the fact he does inventing with Peter, it is my favourite thing in game, that he gets to nerd out with Peter Parker & someone else later on. I mean there was a reference or easter egg to robbie racing Tony, which is amazing bcuz that is my favourite thing in the Avengers comics. which is just him asking about help with a wheelchair but i will take what i can get.

Robbie’s persona is mostly his Avengers run, but only if you weigh him down with like three weights of self doubt hanging around his neck at every turn. I mean yeah there was a few things that made him doubt things in comics, but that involved being magically controlled to kill innocents & his dreams about his own death. Which y’know would happen to most people. 

The alteration to the ghost rider lore i'm kinda mixed/confused about. Robbie mentions his uncle was his nemesis. so it kinda ties it in with the fact he had never met Mephisto before. So I’m guessing his background he still didn’t sell his soul to become a ghost rider.  But, instead of his car being the possessed thing, Robbie does infact have a spirit of vengeance inside of him. He names it Sparky. Which makes me crack up at it all the time.

That & the parchment seems to affect him while it didn’t with blaze? Blaze seems like this mashup between Johnny & Danny. Like they mixed together the harshness of how Johnny can be with Danny, Danny getting kicked out of being a Ghost Rider a few times & Johnny’s connection to carnie life. 

Course Johnny being fired from it could be an assumption & he just got OLD and can’t change shape anymore. Maybe too much strain to his body?? He still has the increased leave a burning trail behind him thing and still can manipulate his shotgun. Infact Johnny seems to have all of the powers except for the bit about turning into a Ghost Rider (okay i have no idea of the penance stare so not all of them but he can do things you shouldn’t be able to do when you’re fired from being a ghost rider)

Johnny’s betrayal kinda backfires on him? Well i mean doubly so. He pissed of Robbie while doing it, mainly for the fact Robbie knows Hunter and the Solution Johnny finds or thinks he needs is really stupid for him as a chara. I will say him also betraying Robbie isn’t his fault, he was stupid about his agreement with Mephisto, which considering Johnny, that seems like a mistake he wouldn’t make. And considering some of the codex entries on Johnny or what comes up it’s a mistake he wouldn’t make. Though i guess anyone can have one of those absent minded ‘oh shit i shoulda thought of that loophole’ moment when dealing with a devil. On the other hand taking HUNTER TO MEPHISTO WITH A PART OF THE DARKHOLD NEARBY is painfully unsmart of Johnny. He just... ploop here have this being because they’re a danger to the existence of the world... >.> Johnny did you think things thru in this game??????? did the writers get hangry when they wrote you or just read the comic where Johnny’s not firing at all cylinders??

[thebadchoicemachine]

Pauling In Blunderland

Alice In Wonderland TF2 AU

Masterpost • Ao3

Chapter 1/14 - A World of My Own / I’m Late

“Pauling,” the Administrator asked as she blew out a puff of smoke. “Are you paying attention?”

Pauling snapped her head up, fumbling the pages of her magazine further into her book. “Yes, of course! I am paying so much attention. I’m—gah!”

She was cut off as the Administrator snatched both magazine and book out of her hands. Her razor-sharp nails seemed like knives slashing toward Pauling. 

“Guns Blazing: Issue 6,” the Administrator read in her withering scornful drawl. “Really, Miss Pauling? I’m disappointed.”

“I know! I know, and I’m sorry.” Pauling adjusted her glasses, looking away to hide from the administrator’s burning gaze. “It’s just that I don’t… I don’t understand.”

“Understand what?”

“Any of this! Why do I have to study gravel, and if all we’re doing is reading from textbooks then why do we have to be in the gravel pits?” Pauling threw up her hands, gesturing at the dusty mounds around them. 

“Oh,” the Administrator sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with boney fingers. “And here I thought you were brighter than that.”

“I am! I mean, I want to be. I swear I’m good at this. That’s why I’m your assistant, right? I can make a bomb out of an analog alarm clock and a splinter for crying out loud!”

The Administrator only rolled her eyes and took another drag of her cigarette. “Yes, yes, you’re very destructive. If you want to be competent, however, you need to understand more than senseless violence.”

“I do!” Pauling insisted, being uncharacteristically confrontational with her boss. “I do paperwork! I make painstakingly meticulous plans and coverups! I just…” She trailed off, cowing to the challenging look in the Administrator’s eyes.

“Just what, Miss Pauling?”

“I don’t like those parts,” she confessed. "They're very boring."

“I see.” The Administrator closed her eyes, pensive. “You like the ‘fun’ parts of your job. You believe that these precautions are unnecessary to your work.” 

“Well, it’s not exactly that I think it’s unnecessary, but spending all day learning about different types of gravel does seem a bit excessive. You know, just a smidge.” 

“What would you like your training, or your work for that matter, to consist of?”

“Huh?”

“Go on, describe your ideal world to me, and be honest.” She punctuated the word honest with a sharp look that wiped any idea of sugarcoating or sucking up from Pauling’s mind.

“I, uh, okay! I guess my world would be something more sparky. Like, in a world of my own there wouldn’t be the need for busywork. I could fight and destroy all I wanted and never have to worry about cleaning up the mess. There’d be no responsibilities! No real consequences even! It would be thrilling instead of stressful and blah, you know?” She squeaked the last line, beaming. Thinking about such a wonderful world had her face flushed in excitement.

The Administrator remained cold and unmoved throughout the monologue. When it was done, she only shook her head. “God, you’re naive, Miss Pauling, but I suppose that can’t be helped. It’s not your fault you’ve got a measly twenty-something years under your belt.” She took another painfully long drag of her cigarette. 

Pauling quietly cleared her throat. She tried desperately to stop herself from digging her nails into her legs. She took a subtle deep breath and untensed herself, looking outward to the gray fields around her. 

There was a very tall rabbit parkouring across the distant structures. 

  “Miss Pauling,” the Administrator snapped. 

“Ah! Yes?” 

“Did you hear me?”

“No, I’m sorry.” Pauling struggled to split her gaze between the rabbit and the Administrator’s stern face. “Uh, there’s a—”

“I said: perhaps we should take a break.”

“A what?” The absurdity of the statement was enough to pull Pauling’s full attention back to her boss. She never got breaks.

“A break. You’re useless to me if you can’t focus enough to retain the information I’m telling you. Take a rest, get medicated, I don’t care. ” The disdainfully tapped some ash off her cigarette. “Just come back ready to do your job properly, including the training. Understood?”

“Y-yes ma’am!” Pauling stammered, already standing with her eyes once again locked on the rabbit. She was so caught up in the strange sight that she couldn’t even feel afraid of the Administrator’s request. 

The rabbit was closer now, heading towards them, but didn’t appear to have noticed them at all. 

Pauling took off, hopping on her motorcycle and speeding away before she had her helmet on right. She estimated his path, figuring if she went west and a bit to the south she could get ahead and cut him off. Targets running into her was always a better plan than her having to chase them down. 

She pulled up between two outposts and waited with her back to the wall. There was a large stretch between these two buildings; the rabbit would have to land on the ground to get across and, as far as she knew, he had no reason yet to break from his path or change direction.

Sure enough, after only a minute or so of waiting, she heard him coming. At first, it was the thumping that tipped her off, the light clang and bang that sounded as he jumped from place to place, but then she heard it talking. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK.” The panicked hissing quickly grew louder as he came closer. 

Finally, just as she’d planned, he bounced over her head and landed on the ground between the two buildings. As he was about to jump onto the second one and continue his sprint, Pauling launched forward, tackling him onto his stomach. 

Up close, he made even less sense than before. He was, in fact, actually a rabbit but he also looked uncannily human. He had dappled white-gray fur and long, twitchy ears. There was even a cotton tail. Despite his animalistic appearance, he also was fully dressed in a sleeveless purple shirt, shorts, and what looked to be an earpiece. He also had a baseball cap and bat, both of which had been flung away from the impact.

The weirdest thing about him, though, was that he didn’t look creepy. He looked like a cute anthropized cartoon character. But in real life. But somehow not disturbing. 

“HEY!” The rabbit growled, squirming under her hold. “I’ll cave your skull in you dirty little—” He stopped when he met her eye, his scowl melting into a flirty grin. “Hellooo. Listen, normally I’d be all over this but I’m kinda in a rush right now. What say you we pick this up sometime later?”

Pauling ignored his offer. “What are you?” She pulled open his gums, examining his mix of leporid and human teeth with fascination. 

He pulled back and grinned again. “Oh boy, where do I even start with that question? You got no idea. You got no idea who I am. Most people call me Scout and, basically, I’m kind of—LATE!” With a hand (Paw?) on his earpiece, he abruptly shot up, knocking Pauling over. 

“Oh no. Oooh boy, this is bad,” he murmured to himself as he frantically raced around, picking up his items. “He’s gonna kill me. He’s gonna pop my tiny head off! AHH!”

“Wait! Who’s going to kill you?” Pauling shouted in vain as Scout raced out, freaking out the whole way. 

  Pauling jumped back on her bike and took off after him again. It was difficult to keep up with him from the road but, with effort, she managed to glide between the debris. The hard part was keeping track of Scout as he abandoned his previously straight path to run in ostensibly random directions. More than once, Pauling swore they went in a full circle despite the scenery looking different with every turn. 

“SCOUT!” She yelled, but either her voice was drowned by her bike, or he was too panicked to respond. 

The twists and turns became more and more frequent. The swiveling distorted Pauling's vision, making the gray and brown scenery turn vibrant red and blue. It was beginning to nauseate her. She thought about stopping, but the idea of hitting the brakes made her head feel like it would explode.

Scout changed directions again. She barely caught it—a flash across her vision—but she skidded after him, not even seeing what was in that direction. 

It was careless and messy on her part; she could have slammed into a concrete wall from how desperately she pivoted. Thankfully, instead of breaking her teeth on wood or concrete, she flew into an open space. 

The close-knit maze of structures was suddenly gone. She looked behind her to see the ordinary buildings she’d expect, but much further away than they should be based on how she’d just exited their alleys. She turned her attention back to the space in front of her. It was a wide, sandy square, barren of anything except for a metal circle in its center. 

A bomb hatch? Pauling wondered in morbid awe. This puzzle just kept getting pieces and pieces that didn’t fit together at all. 

“Whaaat? Nah, I’m Right on schedule. The schedule is right on, haha.” Nervous chatter drew her attention back to her target. Scout was standing at the edge of the hatch, speaking into his earpiece and fighting to get his long ears properly through his cap again. 

“Hey! Rabbit boy! Scout!” Pauling called. She dismounted her motorcycle and ran at him. 

Scout’s face fell when he saw her coming. “Crap. Lady, I don’t have time for this!” His paw flew up to his earpiece again. “Nope! No problem! YES, I KNOW I’M GONNA BE LATE,” he yelled at whoever was on the other end. 

Just as she was about to grab him, he hopped backward and plummeted into the bomb hatch. 

“Caaaallll meeeeeeeeee!” He shouted as he fell into the darkness.

Pauling stared, mouth open. One, she didn’t realize the hole was open and, two, there was no way anyone would survive a fall like that. She didn’t even hear him hit the bottom, he just called until his voice was too far away to hear.

Tentatively, she reached out and stuck a hand over the hatch, eyes widening as it went right through the metal. The cover, she realized, was an optical illusion painted onto the sides.

She sat back and bit her thumb. She wanted to know where this went. She REALLY wanted to know, but she also didn’t like the idea of dying trying to catch up to an obnoxious rabbit boy. She stood up and walked back to her bike, picking it up, but looked back at the mysterious hatch. With a stubborn groan, she let her bike fall again. 

Instead of leaving and instead of jumping in blindly, Pauling decided to compromise with herself. She opened the pack on her bike and took out some supplies; namely, a grappling hook and heavy-duty flashlight. She then slung the rest of the pack over her shoulder and reapproached the pit. 

“Deep breaths, Pauling,” she told herself. “When are you ever gonna get a break again?”

With that, she secured the hook above ground, straightened her glasses, and leaped into the unknown.