#ask ratchet

[ask-ratchet-the-medic]

What do you think about people shipping (if you don’t know, that means putting you in relationship with someone) you with Optimus? (Or Megatron, I’ve seen that too) Pure curiosity

I personally love Optimus :)

megashit can go fuck himself.

[ask-tfpratchet]

Hey ratch, what's your opinion on people who don't wash their hands after using the washroom. Trying to prove something to a buddy.

After a quick search I see washroom is another word for bathroom and that is completely revolting! Do you know how many diseases can come from human biological waste? HUNDREDS! Some you haven’t even discovered yet! Your lives are already short as it is why would you want to make them shorter??

Wait… didn’t you humans just suffer a worldwide virus? Why would you want to risk that again??

Just! WASH YOUR HANDS!

[velvetwyrme]

bringing back the question for 2025: who in the autobots would fuck a car and/or have an sti

hi i thought too long and hard about this. then i made a silly comic about it which quickly got derailed into another silly bit. and then it kept getting longer and more terrible

i don't know whether you're the same person as the original anon or not but im gonna freakin cry either way. is this my legacy...

on one hand this ask gave me lots of motivation for some reason, so thank you for that, but on the other hand it motivated me to draw a 6 page comic about robot STIs.

i put too much effort into this lmao. for my actual conclusions AND some extra notes about the comic click the read more 👍

Ratchet: No and no. Has HAD STIs before. When he was younger. True across continuities except... in TFA he would have an STI. I can see it.

Ironhide: Yes carfucking, but I feel like the carfuckin was also a one time thing specifically. No STI. To quote my notes: "Frag no, Chromia or Ratch woukd kill him". Typo included.

Jazz: Yes carfucking, no STI because if he got one he'd be on top of treatment. Originally there was a bit in the comic with Jazz and Prowl arguing about which is worse: fuckin a car or havin a STI but it got cut because its already like 6 pages

Prowl: No carfucking and yes STI. He thinks carfucking is Really Weird. Wait. Purely off of vibes because I still haven't watched ES (someday...) but ES!Prowl would fuck a car.

Optimus: Who else do you think gave Megatron the STI? (/j /j... unless?) Carfucking and STI status varies wildly across continuities imo. G1? Yes and yes. IDW... depends on what point in time. I feel like its a yes to both but not at the same time. TFA would not fuck a car but he definitely has an STI. TFP! and ES! OP is a mystery to me, you guys can tell me if you have strong opinions on them. Hm. Armada OP would fuck a car.

Sideswipe: originally it WAS going to be him in the comic but as I mentioned, it got derailed. He'd absolutely give a car an STI.

Wheeljack/Trailbreaker/Hot Rod: Yeah, probably both. Maybe not at the same time though. Hot Rod was only so low on Prowls list because hes Literally Offworld but who knows what hes capable of.

Yes to carfucking, no STI: Lets see... Bumblebee, Cliffjumper (despite Prowl and Ironhide's assumption in the comic, THIS is my actual opinion lmao), I think Mirage would as well, but he'd vehemently deny it. Also *leans in close to the mic* Elita-1 would fuck a car. But she'd do it and it'd be like. Cool.

No to carfucking, yes STI: *long pause as i look into the middle distance* mmm...Smokescreen. I don't know much about TFP!Smokescreen but he can get lumped in there too. Sunstreaker as well, but more because he says he didn't fuck a car but he could be lying and you genuinely can't tell if he is. Also Brawn for some reason.

As for other characters elsewhere... Rodimus is a strong contender for giving a car an STI. So is Whirl, but I feel like he's slightly less likely to have an STI, yknow? Only slightly.

Other notable ones I think would have both but NOT at the same time: Swerve, Skids, Drift (specifically because of Rodimus because even if they don't fuck they seem like the type of friends who share drinks), I think First Aid fits in here too, and is the only medic who would have an STI that I can think of off the top of my head. Oh also Armada!Jetfire.

I also think that the Aerialbots are all contenders for this category too. Some more than others but it wouldn't matter because they all end up with an STI and it's miserable.

ALSO...

The alternate punchline to the comic, had it been set on the Lost Light, is... a meeting (in which the general consensus is that Rodimus fucked the car that mysteriously appeared on the Lost Light, AND he gave it an STI)

Then, Nightbeat bursts in with Brainstorm in tow, and he reveals that it was in fact Brainstorm's fault- NOT because he fucked the car (he's far more interested in er... lab equipment, lets say) BUT he made a gun that fucks cars, and accidentally gave the GUN a STI

ALSO SIDEBURN FROM TF:RID (2001). he would ABSOLUTELY fuck a car and give it an STI. He canonically loves red sportscars and you KNOW that mans got an STI.

[zedortoo]

QUIT CANOODLING YOU TWO!!! THERE'S A WAR

(alts+ other doodles)

[peace-hunter]

Wouldn't it be funny if the primes can speak through the matrix in Optimus but only a few words. It would spook everyone and the high guards guilt increasing.

Basically this.

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSj4YXJjp/

they can yeah! it's a weird feeling and it can be more than a bit invasive if they do it without warning, but sometimes a point needs to be made y'know?

eventually OP gets used enough to it that he's only mildly annoyed at being interrupted mid-sentence

everyone else still finds it a little freaky whenever he gets possessed in the middle of a conversation tho. no matter how useful it can be sometimes (´～｀)

haunted au

[myfictionalfables]

somebody wheezed on ‘em-

[fernisfreaky]

oppy gets super lovey dovey during aftercare proceeding him topping bc he is very conscious of their size diff 😔❤

[bloominglegumes]

just saw them dratchet yuri cuddles my heart is melting so soft so beautiful. Sending my praise and love.

That's it that's the ask. Have a nice day :)

thank you so much!!! <3

your ask gave me the sudden urge to draw them again,, hfjsfh i hope yall enjoy

[keferon]

Oh hey Orion time? Orion time

Anyways. So Ratchet. Do you think he knew Orion back then too? Were he and Shockwave and Orion all friends and then Shockwave doing all of that caused Ratchet to leave? Or at least is a reason he left? Ratchet probably had to be the one to deliver the news about Orion too, so

Oh fuck. Oh no. Oh they definitely were friends YES. Ratchet would stick around for quite some time after Orion's death but yeah. It would fuck him up and traumatize. Severely. And then looking at what Shockwave has become is just. Too much for him.

[somerandomcockroach]

[izsheum]

I need more wife content please, ratchet..ratchet.. come home ratchet.. ratchet… ratchet…

Ps I’m eating your art

sobbing crying as i see you walk off with an art-shaped lump in your throat

have the girlfailure with a phd — i didn’t quite know Which design is preferred but i always default to prime 💔

[ask-ratchet-the-medic]

I’m tired.

Please stop tagging me in everything I’m old and I need sleep

[ask-tfpratchet]

I know you dislike Miko's electric guitar, but is there any music you do like to listen to?

Anything that isn’t Miko’s electric guitar…

[ihatebrainstorm]

Rogues Gallery AU Ratchet and Drift details vvv

Drift, formerly going by the name Deadlock, has long since retired her career as the hired assassin Cheshire after ending up at Ratchet's free clinic 10 years ago. The two now live together and have since gotten married at some point, with Drift sometimes helping Ratchet out in the clinic. Otherwise, she trains her athletic skills relentlessly and repaints/maintains her old gear in case anyone decides to cause trouble for either of them. You never know what might happen in Gotham City...

Ratchet runs a free clinic in Gotham, treating anyone or any bat looking for help. Her history with Prowl is long, and she doesn't necessarily approve of Prowl's decision to don the cowl, but she'll still help out regardless. Ratchet's currently been looking to retire alongside Drift some time soon, but has tremendous difficulty staying away from her clinic.

Both can break every bone in ur body if they really wanted to

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Continuation of my other post here, the autobots have come close to figuring out that Optimus is the sire but Optimus is way too moral to spark up an subordinate so they don’t look into it more

Skywarp stole the evidence, Ratchet doesn’t notice cause he and Optimus are too busy with the baby for any fun private parties

[lui-the-cute-snek]

codeword mango!!

tfp wheelratch pretty please with a cherry on top 👉👈

Here you go! Sorry this took me a bit, I have little to no experience drawing tfp bots