#ask game-ish at least. I think it qualifies

[lesbianjodie]

Ok folks here's a game:

The black organization is having a secret santa... what little gifts are our dear codenamed agents getting, and from whom?

Send me an ask and in some time (depends on like how many I'm getting at once) I will pick the best ones for each character and draw them with it!! Then a poll may be made for people to guess which agent made the gift 👀

[thesummerpetrichor]

𝓘 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾, 𝓘 𝓫𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾:

𝒪𝒻𝒻 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑅𝒶𝒸𝑒��

Javier Peña x afab!fem!reader

Summary: Its been five months since you started sleeping together, and you're having second thoughts about your "relationship" with Javier. But what does it matter to him? he hasn't even kissed you yet. 🍒 Continuation of “Off to the Races” and “Your Face is Shameless” but can be read alone.

Warnings: 18+ Only Minors DNI you will be blocked. Mentions of DEA, thicc age gap [Javi is in his 40s reader is in her early 20s], mentions of anxiety, major angst, situationship, guilt, unrequited love, self loathing, kissing [they did it!], Javier is emotionally unavailable, petnames, major dom/sub dynamic [dd/lg ish vibes], mean!Javi then soft!dom!Javi, degradation, dumbification, minor objectification, major size kink [Javi is bigger than and can lift reader], praise kink [finally some good girl action], daddy kink, choking, pussy pronouns, finger sucking, oral [f receiving], unprotected P in V [ do better!!]. Let me know if i missed anything 🫶

Word count: 5.4K

A/N: Hello!! I'm back!! thought it would be fitting to revisit these two post hiatus. Sorry in advance for the emotional torture that is about to ensue, but I couldn't help myself. Big thank you to @pixelsandothernonsense for being a big supporter of these two and fuelling their return on the blog time and time again. Lotsa plot, lotsa porn– as always. Hope you enjoy, nasties. Mwah

🍒Off to the races 🍒Your face is shameless 🍒Masterlist

You wanted it to be easy but it’s difficult. You wanted it to be over, but it was not. 

While Colombia seemed to be all fun and games at first sight, the longer you remained stuck in the American embassy’s city centre building the more you longed for home. 

Your research was hitting a roadblock, and things were hard. Funding was running out, and your professors were running away. Better jobs, better prospects. But your degree was the least cause for your troubles. 

You were smart. You were controlled. You didn’t know what you were thinking when you got yourself involved with Javier Peña. It seemed fun at the moment- fooling around, messing with a man double your age and four times more qualified. Trying to wrangle his true intentions out from under his furrowed brow and frown. 

Looking back you felt stupid. Embarrassed. A little ashamed of what you had become. How you let him treat you. 

He used you like a walking sex doll. Didn’t give you one look afterwards. Maybe a pat on the back but somehow that was more insulting. He had never kissed you. And there you were, fixing your makeup in the office bathroom after an evening under his desk had ruined it. 

It had been five months since the first time he'd bent you over his desk but you were only half way through your trip. Five more months seemed too long to bear. It made you sick. 

You glanced at yourself in the mirror. You looked tired, and sleepy and your clothes weren’t crisp as usual. You felt a little bit like the tissue you’d just dabbed against your cheek. A little flimsy and a little dirty. A little used, perhaps. 

It felt a little worse knowing it was all your doing. You weren’t expecting a man like Javier to change. Objectively, it wasn’t possible. But you still asked for more. For him to use and then forget about you. You wanted to leave. You wished he’d never seen this side of you. Frankly you wished you hadn’t either. 

Because you were smart and funny and interesting and could talk about all sorts of things. You liked music and books and movies and trying new food. But he’d never seen you that way. He never would. 

You hadn’t spoken to him once. Not about anything that wasn’t strictly utilitarian. Especially not after he started fucking you. It was far too awkward and far too intimate. 

For him. 

Your feelings flip flopped every day, from the casualty of the affair seeming rather appealing, to it making your chest ache. And yet you couldn’t seem to help yourself, unable to understand not only what this thing you had going on with Agent Peña was, but why you couldn't seem to stop. 

Five months camping out in the office and you hadn’t missed a single day. No matter how bad the hurt in your chest you rolled out of bed and reminded yourself of why you were where you were. It worked. It hurt, but it worked. 

But after five months it seemed like getting out of bed was suddenly impossible one morning and you thought it best to stay home. You got a few calls. One from Fiestl and Van Ness. Connie Murphy sent Steve over with soup when she heard you weren’t feeling well. 

No news from Javi Peña. 

You slept most of the day. With your computer shut and materials put away. You didn’t want to think about it. You fixed yourself dinner- instant noodles, and headed to bed once again. 

You thought it was temporary but the excruciating pain only lingered and carried you on to another day confined to the four walls of your bedroom. 

It was a bad idea- ignoring your work for as long as you did. You should have known that you wouldn’t be able to put it on the back burner- considering the neurosis surrounding your work, the fact you took a two day break was impressive. It wasn’t long before your anxiety was eating away at you, an impending deadline hanging over your head and reminding you the world didn't care about your little pity party. 

Stupid as it was, you found yourself crossing the street at the witching hour of 23:00- clad in the soft cotton dress you forced yourself into earlier that evening. The friday night had persuaded everyone out of the office, and you weren’t surprised when you found the top floor of the embassy building cold and empty. 

You were glad, and perhaps it was the only way you could stomach being there– alone. 

Your desk was exactly how you’d left it a couple of days ago- your books piled in one corner, papers thrown all over the place. It was disorganised and untidy– very unlike you. You swallowed a lump in your throat as you began to sort things out, a feeling of complete exhaustion and defeat threatening to force you into your office chair. You glanced over at Javier’s office, signs he was out for the week prompting the slight relaxation of your shoulders. 

When you finally sat down to get to work, your eyes couldn't help but flutter shut every few moments, the screen of your computer zoning in and out of your vision every now and then. The words seemed to escape you, four lines on your document all you could manage before you were pressing your forehead against the wood of your desk. 

After spending the past two days sleeping somehow all you wanted to do was climb right back into bed. 

Music, surely that would help! Or at least you thought, to no avail, a whole album played once, yet you could only manage another paragraph. Turns out burnout was real.. and it had decided now was the best time to get you. But you weren’t ready to pack up and banish yourself to your studio apartment just yet. So you upped the volume, and sat up just a little bit straighter in your chair, and got back to work. 

Something about the loneliness of working in that drab, white, characterless office was especially miserable. So miserable in fact it was almost comforting, it was so miserable it was funny. It wasn't long before you were sitting completely straight in that sad, uncomfortable office chair, laughing at yourself with a mixture of exhaustion and disbelief. You were stupid, and acted silly, and had all these big feelings, but what did it matter? It was diabolical; the capacity Javier had for ruining your life, but soon enough you’d be out of here and one day you’d probably be laughing at the whole ordeal. 

It was exhausting, but what could you do? The words came just a little bit easier from that point, and you felt yourself accept defeat and immersed yourself in your paper. At the end of the day you couldn’t control how he felt about you- you just had to take it or leave it. Not everything is that deep, you rolled your eyes at yourself, but you knew truthfully the lack of his care and affection was more than a little sting. You decided you were better off defining the “relationship” for yourself, and maybe showing a little bit more restraint. Who said everything had to be that serious, maybe you should've taken a page out of Javier’s book! 

Yes that was it, not everything was that serious, was it?

You really wished you’d had the foresight to gauge the stupidity of trying to drown out your surroundings in a public space in the middle of the night. Sure, no external threat could get you inside the excessively secure embassy building, but what did that mean when the real threat to your sanity was the DEA attache. 

Truth be told, you'd have jumped in fear if anyone had tapped their fingers on your computer screen, but when Javier rounded your desk with a raised brow and waved his hand in front of your computer, you were particularly startled. 

“The hell are you doing here?” 

Any other time you’d probably met him with a snappy reply, something to get him going, maybe rile him up enough till he was pressing your face against your papers and fucking you from the back. You wished you could have given him that response that day, but you were so completely out of yourself, you settled for a shrug and a normal “trying to finish this section”. 

“That why you disappeared these past two days?”

“I wish.. probably would have been done by now.” His brows kit, somewhat confused and just noticing your tired, puffy eyes now that he was closer. 

“When’s it due.” he leaned to sit on your table , and traced your features with his fingers. You felt your eyes flutter shut as the tip of his index ran along the bridge of your nose, and feared your new policy was at risk of being thrown right out of the window at his attention. Sighing, you leaned into his touch. Unhappy, but unable to resist it. “Next week.”

He pitched your damp cheeks between his fingers, gently shaking your head from side to side. “You've got time.” 

You hummed and took a moment to look up at him- yellow table lamp doing his golden features all sorts of favours, ones that he didn't even need to begin with if you were being honest.The weight of his hand, the roughness of his skin against yours had a soft sigh escaping your lips. 

Javier's hand moved slowly, almost hesitantly, to the back of your neck, and he gently guided you to stand. Your legs felt weak, but you helped yourself up long enough to watch him rise beside you, stepping closer. He stepped around you, positioning himself between yourself and the chair, his breath warm against your ear. 

"Sit," he murmured, his voice low and commanding. His hand moved to the back of your neck again, this time pulling you down onto his lap. The gesture was possessive, not tender. 

You obeyed, lowering yourself onto him,  your legs on either side of his waist, dangling off the seat. Javier's hands rested on your waist momentarily, heavy and harsh, before drifting lower to your hips, pulling you further into his lap till you could feel his bulge swell against you. You felt yourself get wet, he lifted your hips and then pulled you back down against him, allowing you the slight relief of the friction as you felt yourself embarrassingly throb against him. 

The proximity was suffocating, his scent—cigarettes, and aftershave. He leaned closer, and for a moment, in your delusion, you thought he might kiss you. Instead his fingers squeezed around your throat, breath fanning your lips. “You want to be daddy’s good girl, dontch’ya?” his voice was low, and biting, and you knew you were in for it, for avoiding him, when he tightened his grip at your lack of answer. 

Slick pooled in your panties, and he let you press your hot core against him, undoubtedly able to feel how easily he could unravel you. You shifted your gaze up at the ceiling to avoid his own. 

You squeaked out a feeble “yes”, already delirious. “Then why the fuck, did you think you could disappear without telling me?” He reached for the string that held together the top of your dress, rather aggressively tugging it undone, watching as it unravelled and revealed the soft cotton of your lingerie. “Busy” you whined when traced your skin with his pointer finger, palm coming to squeeze at your breast and then pull your bra aside. 

“Not looking too busy now, are ya?” your nipple pebbled under his palm, his hot breath fanning against your skin as he trailed open mouth kisses along your neck. You whimpered, reaching to tangle your fingers in Javier’s hair. Surprisingly, he let you tug on his locks, allowing you to ground yourself as he sucked your nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around your bud. He came up to nip at your jaw and you whimpered  a soft “M’ sorry”. 

“What was that?” Javier rolled his eyes and growled in your ear, grazing your earlobe with his teeth, and pinching the flesh of your thighs, prompting you to speak up. And speak up you did, heat seeping into your panties at his tone and words. He didn’t respond to you, just hummed his assent and pulled you harder against him. 

His hands found the backs of your thighs, hoisting you up and into his arms. You wrapped your legs around him and his big arms crossed under you to support your weight. Continuing to kiss along your neck he plopped you on the table, but you couldn’t lie, you much preferred being carried so gently in his hold. Thank god the desk had been cleared– giving him enough room to push you back against it. You didn't really want to unwrap your legs from around him, but he grunted disapprovingly before prying your legs from his waist. Your heart jumped as he took a seat on your dingy rolly chair, his large palms lifting your legs by your calves till your feet were planted on his thighs. You propped yourself up on your elbows. 

Javier's eyes caught sight of your untied shoelace, a small hazard in the midst of your hurried night. As usual, without a word, he leaned down, fingers deftly working to tie the lace in a swift, fluid motion, securing the bow with a final, firm tug, patting the top of your shoe before returning to the task at hand. 

His eyes were hungry like they always were, deep brown, alluring, the only readable emotion in them- lust. Those large palms parted your knees, making space for you between them. A tingle ran up your spine when he brushed the tips of his fingers against the inside of your thigh, dragging them along your skin till he was toying with the hem of your panties. He shifted forward in the chair, meeting your eyes as he planted a kiss on your calf, and then hoisted your legs up on his shoulders. 

Javier took a moment to admire you, letting his rough hands roam under your skirt. You always wondered what those hands were doing; how they wrapped around his gun when he ran out of the office with it, how small they made the cigarette he was smoking look. You watched him grab, and hold, and type from across your desk when he hadn’t fucked you in a day or two, imagined those hands grabbing at your flesh and wrapping around your throat. You imagined him pumping his fingers in and out your pussy with your own hands between your legs in the middle of the night- unable to go mere days without him fucking you, salivating at the thought of those hands wrapped around his thick cock, wondering if he too couldn’t go without your touch. 

Lost in your thoughts you shuddered when you felt him drag his tongue up the cut of your slit, the already moist fabric of your panties sticking to your skin as he nudged your clit with his nose. Your head fell back involuntarily, and you felt your arms ache as you continued to struggle to hold yourself up on your elbows. Seemingly, he had decided that day he wasn’t going to make you work for it- you looked like you were working far too much already. 

“Look at me.” Javier sharply instructed from between your legs. Nipping the inside of your right thigh till you yelped in his hold. You weren't going to last very long at the sight of him, eyes glancing up at you as his mouth ghosted over your soaked pussy. You watched intently as his fingers pulled your panties aside, softly grazing your swollen flesh in a way that had you pulling your lip between your teeth to contain the pornographic moan that threatened to spill from your mouth and alert the security guard across the hall. 

Your leg twitched on his shoulder as he licked a long, firm stripe up your aching pussy. Both your eyes fluttered shut as his tongue softly explored your folds. The sight of Javier between your legs was enough to send you over the edge, one that would live in your head for a very long time. 

You struggled to hold his eyes with your own when he licked at your entrance, increasing his pace ever so slightly before he was softly sucking your clit into his mouth. Letting yourself lean back against the table you reached to continue to tangle your fingers in his hair, hoping he'd let you have his fluffy locks in your hold. Turns out you were lucky the first time, because as was more common, Javier reminded you of his “no grabbing at daddy” attitude by grasping your hand in his. 

“No grabbin at daddy, babygirl” he murmured against your wetness and you shivered. His fingers engulfed yours, stroking your skin and moving your hands to your chest. His large palm covered yours and squeezed your fingers around your breasts. You moaned, and arched your back against the table up into both your palms as his tongue achingly slipped inside you. 

The feel of his mouth against you was more than perfect, the way he expertly ate you out till you were wiggling your hips against his face, his nose nudging your clit as he fucked you with his tongue. Slow and soft then faster and rough, just how he knew you liked it. 

He seemed to be enjoying the feeling of you just as much,  groaning against your wet cunt everytime you twitched and shuddered against him, the taste of you prompting him only to bury himself deeper between your thighs, pull and grab at your hips, hold you close against him as your chest rose and fell. 

Javier lashed his tongue at your entrance, then plunged it into your slick cunt. You felt your core tighten, and you knew you couldn’t hold on much longer. “Please…” barely able to complete your sentence you squealed when he circled your clit with his tongue. You could feel him grin against the inside of your thigh, and you reached for his hands on your hips to tug at his fingers feebly. 

Making out the sound of his chuckle over your heavy breathing you whined, and then proceeded to melt in his hold when he responded with a rather gentle, yet delayed and somewhat playfully annoyed “You can come for daddy, babygirl.” 

The grip of your fingers on his tightened, and you sighed, finally letting go as Javier worked between your legs. Your cunt clamped down on his tongue as he finished you off, licking you through your orgasm and holding your hips down as you shook and squirmed above him. 

He kissed along your seam gently as you caught your breath, your breath hitching when he pushed two fingers in your still sensitive cunt to gently stroke your walls. He stifled a groan. You looked down between your legs as he withdrew those fingers and began to stand up. “She so fuckin wet for me, hmm?” He rubbed slow, soft circles on your clit, not caring to watch you intently for any giveaway that would instruct him on the perfect rhythm. He already knew what you liked- he didn’t need to bother. “Slutty little pussy achin’ to be fucked… after all these days, aint she?” 

He took a second to get a good look at you as he moved closer between your legs, and you propped yourself back up on your elbows and wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him in. 

“My good little slut” 

Bringing his fingers to your lips he urged them open, pushing in and watching you suck gently on his digits. You shivered at the taste of your own arousal. As always you felt a little fuzzy when he did something like that– letting your eyes droop until he nudged you to release them with a pop. He ran those fingers across your lips, watching you struggle to keep your eyes on him as his hand drifted downwards to wrap swiftly around your neck.  “That's better isn't it?” he pressed his clothed cock against your bare, swollen pussy, your panties surely on the verge of ripping the way they’d been pulled aside. Javier seemed to be thinking along the same lines as you, because in a moment he reached for them and urgently dragged them down your hips, unwrapping himself from your hold and holding your ankles in one hand as the other slid your panties all the way off of you. 

When you whined at the loss of his body against yours he tutted, raising his eyebrows at you in warning. 

He then grabbed your thigh with his hand once again, squeezing it and holding it in place against his waist. You heard the jingle of his belt as he undid it. A rough edge on said belt scraped against your skin, but it was difficult to pay attention to it when you felt him reach between your bodies to tease your dripping slit with his length. 

It was sad to admit, but nothing took the weight of your shoulders much like the feeling of his hard cock sliding against your wet pussy, head bumping your clit till you were shivering and then notching at your entrance. You heard him mutter a strained curse under his breath at the feeling of your cunt sucking him in. Javier didn't waste much time, as much as he seemed to enjoy the sight of you deliriously wiggling your hips under him. 

He leaned down and traced the curve of your jaw with the bridge of his nose, breathing in your scent as he pushed in– slowly and gently. Much slower and gentler than he had ever been before. Your legs tightened around him, hips lifting pathetically as you felt him stretch you open. It had been far too long since you’d had him inside you. 

“Such a good little girl..” His hips snapped towards yours. 

“Aren’t ya?” It was an out of body experience, so overwhelming and dizzying you could almost see yourself in the act. Your brain couldn’t comprehend that tone and that gentleness as is, forget when Javier’s cock dragged deliciously against your aching walls. 

Your elbows caved from under you, letting you fall completely back against your little desk. Your head went to fall back soon after, but Javier had managed to snake his hand behind your neck– cradling your head and shielding it from the hard wooden table. Instinctively, you buried your nose in the collar of his dress shirt. He let you seek respite, palm holding you against his warm body, and pressed a kiss to the nape of your neck. 

Your skin felt like pins and needles, little sparks bounced off your exposed waist and prompted you to wiggle your hips away from him at the intensity of the sensations. “Nah uh” yanking you back in his direction Javier squeezed your hips in his hands, refusing to let you escape the death grip he had on your body, pulling you towards him with every deep, slow, thrust. 

“Silly little thing” He laughed against your lips, so close they brushed against you. You couldn’t help it when your mouth fell slack against his. He took your bottom lip between his teeth. He released it as your walls clenched around him, brows knitting at the feel of your warm, soft cunt around his cock. 

“Mine aren’t ya? Daddy’s good little slut?” Unable to catch hold of anything on the table, your hands flew to his shirt, your fingers twisting the fabric as you gripped it as tightly as you could. He let you pull him towards you, one hand sneaking between your bodies to grab and squeeze at your breast. 

“Then you’re gonna take it like I give it to ya?” You tried to nod, head lulling side to side and mouth hanging open, desperate noises leaving your lips. When your back arched against the table he  pulled you into his chest, letting you wrap your legs around his waist so tightly you felt the leather of his belt cut into your soft skin. 

Eventually he picked up his pace, and you could make out the sound of your pens clattering to the ground as your back moved relentlessly against the desk. The dim grey flood light above you came in and out of your focus, the heat that swelled up inside you hindering your ability to concentrate on absolutely anything.  “Getting all cock drunk on me..” Anything but him. Yet another orgasm stirred in your tummy, your entire body hot and tingling with overwhelm. “There’s my good girl”. 

He pulled you into him with every thrust, his hard length throbbing inside of you. “Just how I like ya’– no thoughts in that head’ve yours.” Your bare chest pressed against his soft shirt, but you longed to feel the heat of his body against your skin. 

“Can't think ‘bout anything but daddy can you?” he managed to laugh, his thick cock dragging against your wet walls in a way that had your mouth falling open in a gasp. “Just daddy, ain't that right?” As usual he grabbed at every part of you he could, hands seeking purchase on any exposed skin. 

He grazed your earlobe with his teeth as he spoke. “Poor baby, going dumb on daddy.” All you could do was whine. “Can’t hear ya..” you whimpered again, strained and hasty “yes”s leaving your mouth at record speed as the tension in your core threatened to burst. 

“S’ how it should be” your dress made it easy for you to slide along the surface of the table as he fucked into your tight, wet heat, railing you as you twitched around him. You struggled to form a broken “daddy” between your lips. 

“Stupid little girl can’t do anything but be daddy’s little sexdoll hmm?” you shook your head, but he grabbed your cheeks between his thumb and forefinger and squeezed. “‘S okay babylove, s’ how daddy likes ya best” he shook your face gently, “when ya ain't runnin that smart mouth of yours.” 

He grunted and sighs above you, seemingly lost in his own pleasure, not bothering for the first time to make you beg. It was as if the two days you spent apart had him prioritising other things. “Better this way isn’t it, nothin you gotta worry that pretty head about…” you felt your cunt squeeze him. “Not when daddy’s fuckin’ ya’” 

You could tell he was close by the way his thick cock throbbed against your slick walls, the way his Texan accent came through just a little more than it usually did. Your thighs quivered against his waist as the heat continued to pool in your belly. 

You knew he was close when he straightened up again, hands wrapping firmly around your throat as he angled his hips to hit that sweet spot inside you over and over. “C’mon baby, be a good girl and come for daddy” he tightened his grip, thumb reaching up to swipe gently at your slack lips. 

You felt your pussy clench around his cock, finally letting go as you writhed under him. You heard him groan over the ringing in your ears, your own eyes rolling back as your orgasm rolled over you in waves. You gushed around him, your own release prompting his. 

Watching his brows knit as his thrusts got sloppy might have well sent you on a second release, aftershocks making your hips wiggle against his palms as he squeezed them, his cock throbbing inside you before he erupted with a shudder. A string of strained curses escaped his mouth, chest rising and falling rapidly as he rode out his high. 

You laid there, the heat from your exertion slowly dissipating. You felt Javier pull out, his spend trickling down your thighs, and slide your panties back up over your legs. A heaviness tugged at your limbs and made your eyelids droop. Every muscle felt loose, languid, as if all the tension and energy had been drawn out, leaving behind only a deep, satisfying fatigue. 

Javier put his hands on your waist and lifted you off the table, you returned to your habitual silence, this time albeit far more satiated than before. You were dizzy, feeling like a small ghost floating in front of him, engulfed by his towering form. The world around you began to fade, sounds muffling and blurring into an indistinct background hum.

Every blink became slower, your vision narrowing to slits before closing entirely. You let yourself drift into that warm state between sleep and wakefulness, the exhaustion of the week catching up to you in more ways than one, uncaring of the sense that Javier’s eyes had been lingering. You felt him trace the bridge of your nose, reducing any prospects of you actually getting off that desk. 

He fixed your lingerie and tied the bow of your dress back up, one hand returning to stroke your cheek. His other arm came to support your back as it wrapped around you, pulling you towards him. You looked up to find him watching you, with an expression you couldn’t bother to decipher at the moment. 

You couldn’t help but fall into his chest as he stood above you, his arms reaching behind you as he packed your things in your work bag. You felt your eyes flutter shut again, complete exhaustion taking over your weak form. He placed a kiss to your temple, lifting you off the table once and into his hold once again. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, locking securely at the ankles. His hands gripped your thighs firmly, fingers digging into your flesh.

You felt cold again suddenly, and Javier readjusted his arms to hold you with his right while his left rubbed along your shoulders to warm up your skin, prickled with goosebumps. 

Your head rested against his shoulder, the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath your cheek a comforting, rhythmic lull. You nuzzled deeper into the curve of his neck, tilting your head till your nose was brushing the cut of his jaw. 

Javier shifted slightly, and you could feel the subtle change in his posture as he leaned towards you, and his face came level with yours– you could feel the heat radiating from his skin, a stark contrast to the cool air around you. His hand cradled your cheek. 

With your eyes still closed you felt his lips press gently against yours, so pillowy and soft you barely registered them. He tasted how you’d imagined so many times before– cigarettes, and whiskey. Melting into his touch your hands moved to ball the fabric of his shirt gently in your fist. His lips moved against your’s with a carefulness you couldn’t really understand, but the fact that they were at all was enough. Exhaustion aside, you had a feeling the triviality of the whole ordeal, its comfort and normality seemed expected. And just as quickly as it began, it was over.

Perhaps it had always meant a lot more to you, than it did to him. 

The hand that was cupping your cheek pinched it and then snaked around your waist to help you find your footing on the ground, the same hand coming down to slap your ass as he pushed you towards the door. 

In usual Javier fashion he checked his phone, uninterestedly murmuring a soft “you can start again tomorrow” as you stood in the elevator. He let you lean against him, his palm coming down to pat your head momentarily before it was back to sorting the files in his hands.  You looked up at him, his mind now completely diverted to whatever he had come to collect in the office in the first place, so unbothered by what seemed to transpire between the two of you. 

Perhaps nothing really did. 

You wished his words gave you some motivation, but it was turning out to be really difficult to want to be anything more than his dumb, silly, little girl. 

Who else is gonna put up with me this way?

I need you, I breathe you, I'll never leave you!

They would rue the day I was alone, without you

You're lyin' with your gold chain on

Cigar hangin' from your lips, I said, "Hon'"

"You never looked so beautiful as you do now, my man"

sakjdlakd I'm sorry I just can't let them be happy lmao. Hope you enjoyed this, and let me know what you think. Thank you to everyone who reblogs and comments on my content, you keep me writing. Dividers and banners by @/sardika 🐝✨💗

[bimboficationblues]

"but have certain qualified tankish and socdem positions" what positions do you have in mind?

maybe positions was too strong a word. I dunno, you could ask me about specific things and I'd probably have an opinion. I think I was trying to gesture at...okay, I have my theory of metapolitics: values -> goals -> strategies -> tactics. if I'm being maximally charitable then I think I share some overlapping values with ML(M) and socdem types, and at least some of our goals are going to be similar, though not all. on the level of strategies and tactics, I'm a bit more agnostic, which makes me more willing to hear these other camps out. just by nature of that initial overlap, though, I think there's going to be clusters where I find myself in agreement with one or the other or both and maybe don't take the maximally leftcom stance.

there are plenty of reforms I endorse (both on their own short-term merits, and out of the hope or analytical suspicion that they will be long-term unsustainable for capital, opening up new potentialities), and those seem in the short-term like they are comparatively more realizable than certain ML(M) or anarchist strategies and tactics. full employment, UBI, reforms around the criminal justice and immigration systems, some variation of a "Green New Deal," stuff like that. that's the socdem-ish bit.

the tankish bit is, well, more romantic and big-picture - I've never been an ML, but I retain a broad sympathy towards the position that the various ML parties were in even if many of them ended up doing a bunch of shit that I consider both counterproductive and detestable. those revolutions make for a useful historical dataset, would be one way to look at it, and I feel an instinct to push back when people just default to moral arguments (sometimes masquerading as analytical arguments). regardless of how things ultimately shook out (badly), it's hard for me to not be impressed at the scope of what was achieved in places like Russia and Cuba and Algeria and China. (though, you can say 'well, impressiveness doesn't make it good socialism, and all but Cuba eventually wound up voting or couping their way into capitalism and/or nationalism eventually, so who cares,' and I'm sympathetic to that, but we should still be looking at how and why these attempts at a new social form failed rather than just writing the whole project off as the product of malevolence.) and like, in terms of my theoretical grounding, I am more of a heterodox Marxist than I am a heterodox anarchist (though I consider myself both), which means that I share similar conceptual frameworks to ML(M)s even if I think they have a tendency to reproduce "worldview Marxism."

so like, I don’t feel compelled to be maximally leftcom at all times because being a constant hardliner killjoy feels like a form of magical thinking towards trying to get people to agree with you, or an affirmation of identity, rather than a politics. I think that the political realist thesis of politics as a kind of “war” is true, and committing to that principle means that we have to be level-headed about what the possibilities open to us are. sometimes war means spending time on annoying territorial skirmishes just to prevent the other guy from gaining ground, or building fortifications while you figure out the next move. I'm comfortable with ambiguity, is I guess what I'm saying.

our broad experiences of political disempowerment can lead us to approach politics like it’s a game of SimCity where if we can just perfectly deduce the proper inputs, history will spit out the right outputs. broad swathes of writing and activity from the three “'major' 'left-wing'” tendencies fall into this trap. I just don’t think that’s how politics works! it glosses over the way that social and political forces are unpredictable and volatile and hard to "control." wishful thinking is not enough, deferring into fantasies about idealized futures is not enough.

world revolution is not in sight, the unique convergence of circumstances that made the wave of 20th century Leninist revolutions possible does not seem like it's about to happen. nor does it seem like the insurrectionary uproars of the past few decades sustained momentum or laid the groundwork for communization. this leaves me in a difficult place because most of the paths “forward” (as far as like, less immediate cruelty, more access to basic needs, etc.) look pretty reformist, but I think the critiques of reformism as an end in itself are entirely sound, AND that reformism still has to deal with volatility and unpredictability despite its best efforts. liberalism’s key point in its favor as a sustainable system, that its absence of substantive content lets it absorb enemies and competitors into itself, is also its central weakness. we can see it straining right now, and we have seen it break under that strain previously - and I'm skeptical that that tension can hold forever without breaking again.

as such, I think whatever comes next as far as political and economic forms is probably going to be a surprise - which doesn’t mean “give up” on trying to affect our environment, abandoning any framework and becoming "anti-political" in the nihilist anarchist sense. I would rather we find a good surprise than a bad one, like splintered local fascisms! but it does mean we have to be attentive to which way the wind is blowing, and recognize that it's possible the answers will come from people younger and brighter than us.

[contents404]

Why should I decide what they become?

Why do they ask my opinion at the biggest moment?

Am I qualified enough?

We just met, we did some quest together, and all of a sudden I have to decide what are you gonna become?

What??? Thanks for the trust, but what??? Remember the Dread Wolf in my head? Remember I can’t be trusted cause I might be a spy device made by the Dread Wolf’s blood magic? Remember?

Change position I’ll never ask that kind of question from a leader-ish figure in my group. Even if they are trustworthy and all. They are not me. I might need time to figure out how I feel, but they are not me so even if they give opinions they will be vague and general and useless in a sense.

So why should Rook decide their fate with a panicked opinion? Especially with someone like Taash who told you the first time you met that you don't got to tell them who they are.

Where is the choice to ask back what they think about? They’re 30-ish adults except Taash, let them decide their own mess.

It’s weird. To say the least.

It was weird when Alistair asked the warden what they wanted him to do. But that’s just Alistair. Now you got whole seven grow ass adults asking you what you want them to do, at a big point in their life, you, your opinion alone, will single handily decide what they’ll be in the future.

That’s fucked up. That’s so fucked up.

I really like the companion's quest line in the game. But the last push quest/talk started to give me panic attacks.

Rook is the one asking for their professional help. Just when they all become Rook’s property for a simple Rook to decide what or who these people should be?

Even ME2 doesn't work like this. You have to constantly call their shit out or be supportive to make them change. And there is gonna be a high bar to clear in your reputation parameter to dissolve the big fight between companions. And the aftermath of you changing their life was displayed in ME3.

What the heck is this abomination I got?

Does Solas’ blood magic get them too? Cause we all live in Solas’ house?

I know leaders should make decisions for their team but not this who do you think I should marry kind! What the fuck would I know? All the info I have about you is from the banter I overheard! I’m not trustworthy in this matter!

[ambroise-framboise]

Hermitcraft deserves more crossovers. So have this post about Hermitcraft and Katekyo Hitman Reborn bc current and past fandoms colliding makes the brain go brrrr.

This will not make a lot of sense if you’re not at least slightly familiar with the KHR world btw.

This is a “Hermits get dropped in a random world, proceed to baffle everyone” kind of crossover. My first reflex was to have a Hermit be Skull. Look, a Hermit can and will qualify for the title of “Strongest Flames”, so the Arcobaleno part works. The question then was ; WHICH ONE would play Skull. The whole “goofy and undying” part of the Skull persona made me think of Scar, bc man is he talented at this kind of stuff. BUT ! I’m sorry but Scar, Concorps Convex Scar is a Mist. So not Scar.

Who then ? I tried to figure out which Hermit had which flame (that’s hard, I don’t watch every single hermit and also the personality has to somewhat fit). Some are easy-ish, like Mumbo being a storm bc red like redstone and destruction (Mumbo Kills a Lot Jumbo my beloved), and Tango too maybe. Bdubs is a Sun, it makes sense in my head. Cub is Mist, bc Convex again. Joe is... Mist and Rain probably ? Doc might be a lighning and a storn, idk. Xisuma is a Sky, of course. Who would be Skull ? In the end, I was like ; okay, mischevious enough to create an annoying persona, love stunts, associated with the color purple... Grian. Is it the best fit ? No. Do I care ? Also no. So what happens ? Hermits get yeeted into a new world, and deal with it like they can, being both very chaotic and efficient. They carve themselves a little place in some almost empty part of the world, far from civilisation. Xisuma, our beloved admin, notices that the world is in Hardcore (aka no respawns) and decides that it won’t do. Hacker man powers, puts everyone back in survival. They are effectively immortal. Nice.

Some travel sometimes, and they still love roleplaying, which is how Grian (under the name Skull) ends up being a stunt artist, and gets contacted by Iron Hat Guy. Said dude has no idea who Skull is btw. He thinks he’s a civilian. Which, technically isn’t wrong. Grian does the Skull act, and the moment he can slips away to tell allll about Flames and Mafia and the Underworld to the rest of the Hermits. They are VERY interested, and a thing leads to another and oop they’re all Flame active and bonded and they made a new mafia family (maybe named the Hermits, maybe not).

It’s important to note that they don’t... really care about the murdery aspects of the mafia world ?? They’re very used to death games, and kinda assume that people just respawn in another world when they die. Many Shenanananangians laters (including Grian getting cursed to be baby, which makes every hermit laugh a lot, and Scar being like, terrifying to most of the mafia world), and we get to the sacrifice/big fight where all the Arcobalenos are supposed to get a team and fight each other. Now, instead of asking the flames of the earth guy (whose name i’ve forgotten rn, oop) Grian of course asks his friends.

The others Arcobaleno have no idea these guys existed (well, they had heard of the Hermits but had NO IDEA they were Skull’s Family) and are thus very surprise. Fighting happen, the hermits are overpowered bc HERMITS, and Kawahira arrives. Tries to punish everyone for rebelling and refusing to be a sacrifice/continue the endless cycle.

It looks bad, until ! TFC, beloved grandpa, man actually older than time (and older than Kawahira) and maybe Herobrine himself but who was retired, intervenes. Kawahira stands no chance and gets bonked into submission by a pickaxe. The problem gets solved, and then it’s a race to stop the resident scientist Hermits and Verde to bond over blowing up entire cities and making inventions of mass destruction.

I’d say THE END but it’s really not.

What do you think ? What Flames would YOU give to the Hermits, what events and interactions would you like to see ?? Send an ask or a comment ! I’ll answer as fast as I can

[thevikingwoman]

Feedback, criticism, reviews and creator distance

Something has been on my mind for awhile on the topic of feedback and creators, especially in the spaces of fanfics and smaller original creative works, especially in interactive fiction. 

I mash these together, because many IFs are hobby or side projects, or at least one person efforts. For both fanfics and IFs, there is also usually an element of interaction with the creator and for IFs, especially on tumblr, it tends to happen in a “fannish” way. 

I have a very long post under the cut, but TL;DR: no creator ever owes you anything and no feedback should be unsolicited.

First however, lets talk about reviews - what are they and who are they for? Reviews are opinions. If you review a book or movie, your audience is other people who might go spend time on this media. The purpose of a review is to inform others. It’s not a way to deliver feedback to the creator - usually by the time you get to reviews, the piece of media is done. It’s not something that’s particularly useful in fandom or for most IFs: most are free or free-ish (for IFs), and it’s simply easy to back out if you don’t like something. Positive based rec lists are more useful: you are drawing attention to something good, not sparing someone from the latest MCU flop. 

Next, there’s criticism  - there’s a couple of different things that can fall under this umbrella. It can be a more academic review (a criticism of classical novel as canonical literature), it can be a criticism on why something is undesirable to spend time on (games with lootboxes). It can also be directed feedback on things that don’t work in a piece of media. For the latter, I will shove it under feedback, because it’s purpose is the same. 

Now, on to feedback. 

 Feedback is first and foremost meant to be actionable. You give feedback on something because you want to change it, because maybe you’re good at something, or perhaps because you’re noticing something the creator missed. 

the thing is though: feedback is usually solicited. A fanfic writer can ask for beta reader feedback. A novelist will get editor feedback. My friend might ask me for feedback on their letter of complaint to the HOA. 

Now, you can also leave feedback unsolicited. This can take the form of leaving feedback in the comment of a fic or sending it to an IF creators ask box. 

the thing is though - after the creator has put something out in the world, they’ve already asked for feedback from the people they want feedback from. They’re not looking for feedback from bypassers. They’re not looking for “criticism”. They might not even be looking to correct spelling mistakes. 

But, viking!! Don’t they want to be better? Anyone should want to be better. 

They probably do. I want to be a better writer. (Or maybe they don’t, and they just want to have fun, and that’s valid). But do you know where they want to improve? do you know know what they’re looking for feedback on? do you know what is deliberate choice, and what is an oversight? Unless the creator has directly told you: “Internet stranger, can you please give me some feedback and my pacing,” you don’t know shit. Maybe the pacing is intentional. Maybe they’re working on nailing character voices and they don’t care about pacing. 

In short - why do you think you’re uniquely qualified to give feedback to this creator? this is not a school assignment, you’re not their teacher. 

but, viking!! I’m a professional editor! 

I suggest you go work with your clients. (I highly doubt a professional would not get this whole rant)

still with me?

Now, lets get to creator distance - as I mentioned at the start, this is mostly relevant for fanfic and IF and how those two ways of fandom interactions overlaps. Many IF creators hang out in fandom related spaces, or close to their own fandom. It’s also something I’ve seen authors do, both here on tumblr for a few and mostly on twitter. It’s clearly fun for authors and writers to engage with their fans! 

but sometimes I see this lack of distance. Asks get too personal. Demanding. Straight up weird. 

I think sometimes, people forget both that the person on the other end is another person, but also that they do, in fact, own their own creation. Just because they interact with the fandom, doesn’t mean they’re part of it. The barrier between fan and creator can become blurry, but it doesn’t mean it’s not there. 

Just this morning I saw an ask to IF (which I don’t play), begging the creator to make some side characters romancable. And I get it, the author gives people access to them by answering asks (you’re not emailing c/o Penguin Publishing), but there’s something audacious about asks like that, which essentially tells the author how to write their story. Here it’s where all of the above fits in - this unsolicited commentary - please do this, is no different than unsolicited feedback or “criticism”. Not wanted, or needed. 

It’s not a collaborative story. 

I’ve seen many asks like this, or asks telling authors they’re doing something wrong and in the end they simply assume the author needs to be told how to write their story. 

Think about this for a bit. 

Maybe a story element doesn’t work for you, maybe you would like to see something different. There’s no one preventing you from closing the book, hitting the back button. 

I sometimes wonder what people hope to achieve with this type of feedback or suggestions. Maybe they think they’re helping? But mostly it comes off as weird and entitled. I hope anyone assumes the author knows what they want and how to achieve it. And if the author doesn’t - see above. They probably have someone they can ask - betas, editors, friends, playtesters. 

Creators and authors don’t owe you their explanations either, they don’t owe defending their creative choices. Do you like their storytelling? Do you trust them? 

I think creators too need to think of their own distance. Stand by your choices. Reserve a little mystery. Because I see this too; authors getting too involved with their own fandom or their own critics. It’s natural to want to defend, especially with good reason ( here is why I choose these story elements), but in the end I do believe creators need to do create a little distance. 

I think it’s so hard, especially with a small medium which relies heavily in many ways on fandom interactions like IFs, and where many people come from fandom. As a fanfic writer, I love talking to other fanfic writers, but here I have no need for mystery, though I still think the solicited feeback clause applies. 

I think all of this is increased by the general access everyone has to everybody. I can @ tweet famous actors and authors and the vice president. it’s a strange world and there’s a balance that few have found. Both as fans and creators. 

(and yes, if you’re a creator - study Neil Gaiman’s responses. He engages lovingly, supporting, funny. And keeps some mystery around his creations when needed) 

[glittertrail]

I was tagged by @aquafinha to do this (thank you Katie🥰💖)

1. Why did you choose your url?:

for a long time my personal brand was the friend that loved glitter vfx and makeup in general, ofc i would go all out and leave trails of glitter everywhere lmao also i like having a url that is recognizable but not fandom affiliated

2. Any side blogs?:

yes lmao so many but the active ones are only @ellavaday for rpdr stuff, @ccantaloup for cute animal videos food and reminders to be kind to yourself (it is where a lot of... not particularly good stuff used to be documented and instead of deleting it i decided to rebrand it and keep it as a reminder to myself) and @ateneawrites for fic writing (this one's a baby and it's brand new bc i haven't written for fun in a good 6 years, i'm rusty but definitely having fun at least)

3. How long have you been on tumblr?:

2010ish

4. Do you have a queue tag?:

nope, y'all gotta figure out if i'm online or not by yourselves lmao (it's not hard i usually blog a lot of things in a row when i'm online vs one post every half an hour when i'm not)

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?:

i had just moved to a new continent and didn't have many friends and was bored

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?:

because i lost my old one😭 i put a cute pic of a ghost for halloween and lost the one i had before of a bottle shaped like a heart that said poison 😔 the one i currently have just looked okay with the no header look i like on mobile

7. Why did you choose your header?:

i don't like the look of headers 😬

8. What’s your post with the most notes?:

in this blog? It's buried bc this blog is old as sin but it's either a post about leon orcot from psoh or effie trinket from thg, rn it's a screenshot of choriza may's last look on the rpdr runway because this might not be the drag race blog but the stickers of a peach with "chocho" written on it definitely belongs to this blog lmao

9. How many mutuals do you have?:

probably about a hundred-ish but i am not sure since the rpdr blog is quite more popular than my main

10. How many followers do you have?:

this blog has about 1.1k and the drag race blog has about 4.8k followers (which is absolutely insane but most of those have to be inactive by now tbh.. that sideblog exploded when i first made it bc of t&k), fully have no clue about the other ones but those are the ones i frequent the most

11. How many people do you follow?:

367

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?:

have i made anything but shitposts?

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?:

i started to check it daily again just recently, kind of left it abandoned in 2017 but i'm here probably more often than i should currently

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once?:

never, the unfollow button is right there and blocking is not hard should that not suffice

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?:

same as katie, i get annoyed, it usually just ensures i ignore it, specially, no offense, if it's got to do with the us

16. Do you like tag games?:

love them

17. Do you like ask games?:

love those too!

my favorite thing is the mutuals that will send you things to your ask box unprompted too btw or play things like "assign me a time period in history" or a dessert (@msaudreyanne @woodswit @jackredfieldwasmyjacob are probably some of my favorite people to follow bc of those things)

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?:

depends on what we consider famous, i think some of them have got def more engagement than most, if that counts as famous then @woodswit @msaudreyanne and @legallybrunette1997 qualify

if we go by "people that represent their fandom" i think I'd be remiss not to add @goldenliartrash and @sapphicfolch to the list (hello ministericos how are we doing) and then @ellanainthetardis (or hayffie fanfiction god) and @junosjukebox and @veronicasanders (for rpdr fanfiction specifically)

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?:

a couple that i'm v good friends irl with now since i firmly believe in being a tiny bit in love with your friends 🥰

(no pressure) tags: @kindlichekaiserins @sapphicsupremacist @dykegoblins @amillcitygirl @gardenarcana @poliearbear @lissette @timelordsensate @katya-zamos @doumekiss @1-800-heller @papitati @stephanieschildren , any of the people i tagged before while answering this and anyone else who wishes to do this

[princesssmooshie]

Just My Luck

Prompt: Readers dog gets off the leash at the park and jumps on an unsuspecting Spencer

(Set after or in season 8)

A/N: Hi! This is my first ever fic, and the prompt is from the lovely @imagining-in-the-margins. I made this fic on my own, however I have my lovely betas ( @broken-stardust and @kirencer) who gave me wonderful advice! I am not the best, so please have patience with me. It’s been a long time since I’ve written for fun, so be honest! Please tell me what you think here and in the comments. I enjoyed making this.

WC: 1162 ish

Today I woke up knowing a few things: I have bad luck sometimes, I have an amazing golden retriever named Ginger, and today was a wonderful day to go play with her. As Ginger and I were walking, we stopped momentarily so that I could make sure that we were at the right park. When we continued to walk, I looked around the small park and noticed how many people were at the dog park today, some with dogs, a few with other people around them, and people just enjoying the early summer evening.

After walking for a little while, I had finally found the place that I deemed the perfect spot on top of a small hill. I dropped my stuff onto the cool grass, and with that, we were ready to relax.

My dog stood up, giving me the cutest face, and while looking at her, I decided to play a game of fetch with her. I let Ginger off her leash, and she ran circles around me. I found a ball deep inside my bag, and I showed it to her. I threw it up and down in my hands to get used to the weight of it. It was a lightweight, gray ball with the Kong logo on it, opposed to the normal red that they normally sell.

“Ok, go get it baby,” I said excitedly. Having seen no one near me, I thought it’d be ok for my dog to run around off the leash, but unfortunately, like I had said, I have horrible luck.

Suddenly, a tall man with gorgeous honey eyes adorned with glasses walked out of nowhere, and ended up being tackled by my frightened dog, making the both of them fall down the small hill. I ran over to the man and, in doing so, ended up tripping in the process, falling down the hill with them. As soon as I stood up, I rushed to apologize, but I was interrupted by the mysterious man.

“Oh shit! I’m so sorry," the man heaved, clutching his chest. "I didn't see you there. Are you ok? You took quite a fall!”

“Am I ok?" I laughed. "Are you? You just got tackled by my dog and you’re asking me if I’m ok?”

This whole situation seemed comical to me, but knowing my luck, it was bound to happen at some point in time. I found it ironic how he was apologizing to me, when it was clearly my fault.

“Well, you fell down the hill running after us!” The man pointed out.

“You have a fair point,” I agreed.

What’s your name? I want to properly apologize.”

“My name is Dr.- Dr. Spencer Reid, but you can call me Spencer. You don’t have to worry about the Dr. part. Are- Are you sure you’re ok?” He asked in a small panic

“I am so sorry, Spencer! My name is Y/N! Yes I’m sure that I’m ok! You’re the one who fell because of me, and of course my graceful dog,” I said sarcastically.

“Is there anything I can do to make this situation better?” In my head I was hoping that he’d ask for my number or for us to go out somewhere sometime, but knowing my luck, and how bad it can be, it was highly unlikely.

“Well, yes, actually. You can give me your number, only- only if you’d like to of course! We could go out for coffee sometime? Or we could go for a walk in a park? Maybe even with your dog,” he said with a small smile.

“Really? Sure! Here I’ll give you my number.”

I pulled a piece of paper out of my bag, and wrote my number on it. He looked happy as I handed it to him. His smile was gorgeous

“Um- okay. Would you like to talk to me for a little while? I came here alone, and now that I’ve realized that, it makes me feel a little awkward, but I’m warning you that we might get interrupted. I work for the FBI, and if they call I need to go.”

“Wow. You’re a doctor, and you work for the FBI!”

“I’m not a medical doctor! I have three phDs, I can read 20,000 words per minute, and I have an IQ of 187,” he said sadly, as if he’d gone through this conversation before many times.

“Wow. So you’re like a genius then, huh,” I said as I put Ginger back on her leash.

“I don’t believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but yes I’m a genius, by societal standards at least,” he said with a sad smile.

“Can I ask you a couple questions while we’re talking? I know it might seem a little strange since we just met, and I don’t want you to think I’m crazy or anything, but I think you’d be the only person I know who would be qualified to answer, and you seem like a very interesting person.” I asked with a small smirk

“Um, sure! Now, what were the questions?” He responded happily.

“Well first of all, do you have any clue why my dog tackled you? She normally doesn’t do that without a reason, and I want to know if I can somehow prevent this.”

“Well, you have a golden retriever, and the breed is very well known for being friendly, and I’m a complete stranger who entered in unannounced, so it’s natural that Ginger here would want to defend you,” he explained.

“You said that you had a couple questions, and that was only one. What’s the other one?” He said in a puzzled tone of voice.

“Do you know if bad luck is real?” I questioned.

“Well scientifically speaking, there is such a thing as luck, and there are things that you can do to change it. And it depends on how you are as a person as to how you define luck, either good or bad.” He answered quickly.

“So I do have bad luck?” I asked, with a frown on my face.

“I did not say that, however, statistically, depending on your personal definition of quote unquote bad luck, then yes and no, yes you do have bad luck, but at the same time, you could not have bad luck. I’m- I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“You are, but I find it quite cute. So, tell me, Dr. Spencer Reid, how can I change my luck?”

[holopiloted]

          so...how do the apex games really work ?

          obviously,

     nobody knows. i don’t know, i don’t think you know ( and if you do...why didn’t you tell me ?? )...& respawn DEFINITELY doesn’t know —

                    so here’s my take on it that nobody asked for !!

     okay — there’s a few basics that we do know from canon; like the fact that they operate on a ‘seasonal’ system. and right now, they’re somewhere in between season 130 and 140, approximately 120-ish of those being thunderdome games before the apex games were a thing — i’m still trying to make sense of respawn’s math and timeline, but to me, it only makes sense if there’s 2 SEASONS A YEAR, and here’s why:

     as usual, because elliott is who i’m most familiar with in the lore, i’ll be using him and his timeline to kind of bookmark a few other important points and events. i’ll try my best to explain as i know not all of you are as familiar with him and his story.

so there’s a few canon dates that we know in lore:

elliott was born in 2703.

elliott is 30 years old.

the apex games ( not the thunderdome ) started somewhere between 2728 & 2731.

elliott has participated in 8 SEASONS of the games.

using this information, we now know a few more things:

the current year in apex lore ( at the game’s release ) is somewhere around 2734 ( the year elliott was born plus his current age ).

according to the date range, the apex games have been going on for anywhere between 3 to 6 years.

     we also know that the bloodsport had already been revived and in play when elliott convinced pathfinder to join the games to aid in the search for the robot’s creator, meaning the apex games have already made it through a season or two ( or a few more ) before elliott decided to join.

     so, if elliott has played in 8 seasons of the apex games, and it’s only been around for a maximum number of 6 YEARS, this means that there’s a MINIMUM of 2 SEASONS a year. and that the games have been going on for a MINIMUM of 4 YEARS. though, as i’ve stated before, i believe that the games were going on before elliott decided to join, which, in my book, would mean that the games have been going on for at least 5 years.

     now, let’s keep in mind, those are the MINIMUM numbers. from here, i can’t put together any solid evidence to determine if it’s two seasons a year, three seasons or four, so from here out, is purely headcanon based.

     well...everything except for this: we know that new legends have to go through “qualifying matches” to prove their skills if they’re not invited to join the apex games. these qualifying matches could be something that goes on year round if the apex games were to have 4 seasons in a year, buuut —

          hear me out: think about an olympics style schedule.

     you have the qualifying ‘pre-season’ — three months where you go through sign ups and qualifying matches to make it into the apex games; past players of a certain average rank and higher don’t need to run through qualifiers again for the next season. there’s two pre-seasons a year.

     then there’s three months worth of SUMMER GAMES, the official start of the season. it’s a televised event, and i can definitely see them treating it like one — a game a week, 12 games in a season. there’s prize pools every match, but stats are king at the end of it all.

     after that they get three months away — the off season. there’s another set of qualifying games running in the meantime, but for those who’ve already played in the games the season before, this is time to spend on themselves, to go home, to rest — to train and get ready for the WINTER GAMES, another three months of weekly matches and prizes.

          of course, this is reiikon we’re talking about, so, i DO have a theory behind my reasoning for all of this ! but this is also getting really long so i think i’m gonna put it in another post later this week — but yeah, this is kinda what goes through my brain when i’m writing out threads & plotting,, i think —

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

please tell me your headcannons about the silly old traditions and funny hats and gowns worn at the Assassins Guild graduation ceremonies (bonus points: Vetinari occasionally attends as a distinguished alumnus; differences for those not taking the black) Downey has to make a speech

I love this ask, thank you so much. <3 

--

Downey has added feathers to the hats because it’s Downey and he believes all hats need a nice feather. 

Vetinari: . . .I refuse. 

Downey: It’s a single, white feather. Very stylish. 

Vetinari: You can’t make these hats stylish. It’s impossible. 

Downey: That will not stop me from trying. 

-- 

First it must be said, I place most of my Discworld fashion firmly in the “anywhere from 1350-1650″ camp. Which means there’s lots of diversity but it’s all still very late medieval/early modern. This is a just-me thing though, as the books are all over the place with the fashion. There seemed to be a sense, in the early Watch books, that fashion went backwards (i.e. the more recent, to our mind, the clothes the more old fashioned they are on discworld) but that was quickly abandoned partway through the series and then it became a hodgepodge. 

I still like the early modern feel and so am keeping to it. You can pry Downey’s stupid fucking doublet with its black pearl buttons and his slouchy hat with the Florentine “I’m very gay” feather from my cold, dead hands. 

--

This got long so it’s under the cut. 

Fashion first, because this is Downey and the Assassins we’re talking about after all. 

So I imagine the hats that the professors/teaching staff wear are the slouchy ones like these. This is modeled off of hats that were in fashion when the guild first instituted formal graduation ceremonies which are relatively recent (for a given value of “recent” i.e. only circa 150/200 years ago). 

The students graduating with the Black get the slouchy hats too. The ones who didn’t take the black get the more familiar flat board graduation cap. (Students 100% balance things on top of the flat board cap. This may or may not be desired by the cap-wearer.)

The formal, ceremonial gowns, indeed the entire outfit, for the teachers are hilariously ornate because of course they are. It’s the Assassin’s Guild. 

All ceremonial gowns would be different iterations of the houppelande. 

Beneath the gown there is the Assassin’s black of the doublet with a long-ish skirt beneath the belt (knee length? perhaps floor - but then it starts hitting gown territory). The doublet is form fitting at the top, belted off with the skirt below. Naturally, there are very nice buttons. The linen undershirt is white and can be seen at the collar and wrists. Leggings/tights/hose/whatever you want to call them, also black and worn with dress shoes, not their usual working day boots. All men present wear this, including Vetinari. 

(Downey: No grey-blacks allowed on stage unless it’s representing your specialty and I know you didn’t specialize in astronomy and quantum mathmatics. 

Vetinari: 

Vetinari: But it’s My Colour. 

Downey: Put the doublet on.) 

Women on staff are also all in black, but it’s a dress over a kirtle which is over their undershirt which can be seen at the cuffs. The dress et al is also form fitting on the top with tightly buttoned (or laced) sleeves, then there’s the belt and full skirts after. Dresses are always worn with a high neckline. They too have formal dress shoes, though you can’t see them. 

The ceremonial gowns are black with coloured lining and trim. I’m thinking the sleeves are large and pinned back to show the lining which represents the general field you’re a specialist in. So, green for biology; red for literature/linguistics; white for deportment/dancing; blue for history; yellow for mathematics or whatever. The lining can be dual-colours if applicable. The trim will accent the lining but doesn’t mean anything in particular.  

The slouchy hats, however, tell you what the person specialized in with regards to their training i.e. poisons; knife work etc. 

Some gowns have that long drapey hood that is purely for aesthetics, but not all. I’m thinking if your specialty is stealth (coughHavelockcough) you get it. But, of course, as a specialist in stealth you don’t want people knowing that so no one who qualifies for a drapey hood wears it. 

Students wear simple black gowns with relatively short, deep cut sleeves so you can see more of their doublet beneath. Boys wear the usual doublet/hose combo (kind of like this) and girls the formal dress/kirtle combo (think this, but all black and with less jewels and tighter sleeves) beneath their graduation gowns. 

All gowns on students and staff alike are closed in the front - either with buttons or ties. 

Aside from the hat distinction between those who are taking the black and those who aren’t, the gowns for those taking the Black are all black and have the drapey hood. Those that aren’t taking the black have gowns trimmed with a dark colour - maybe blue? grey? something that blends but still is distinct.

--

Ceremonial Nonsense 

The graduation is held in the great hall where the students usually dine on a day-to-day basis. Parents are allowed and all families get a “plus two” for grandparents or family friends or whatever. 

There are two separate ceremonies - the first is for those taking the Black. That’s the one where Downey forces Vetinari to give a speech as he is Guild Provost and one a Distinguished Old Boy etc. 

Downey does his speech first and usually lines up those coming after him (Vetinari; Mericet; Lady T’Malia is what I have in my head. Though Mericet can usually convince Downey to sub in someone else as he is Too Old For This Shit).

For those taking the Black Downey will pepper in Fun Facts About Assassins and Helpful Pro Tips for Life (some of which are more helpful than others). Vetinari’s speech usually offers subtle rebuttals to Downey’s more outlandish life advice. Lady T’Malia’s is a universal favourite because she has the dry, disdainful wit of a person who has seen way too much nonsense in her life and has lived to continue to roll her eyes at it all. 

Mericet, when he’s made to do a speech and can’t pawn it off on one of the younger staff, is always very short. His record time was 15 seconds wherein he got to the podium, looked somberly out at his soon to be former students, and said “All I can say to you is, good luck and don’t die” then he sat down. Downey could be heard to mutter: Really?? rather loudly. 

Vetinari, more out of a desire to cause Downey some form of annoyance than anything else, will drone on for a long time and pepper in weird references only the headmaster of the guild will understand. He makes a few tiger jokes every year to which Downey, when he gets up to introduce the next speaker, will reply: “You really need to get over that”. No one knows what they’re talking about. However, the students always haaate it when Vetinari takes the podium. There is much sighing and sliding down in seats out of boredom. 

The students are called up to the stage the receive their diploma in order of their name and it’s done by house (so viper house then black widow then poison dart frog or whatever they all are). 

Weapons are expressly forbidden on all students after that One Unfortunate Incident back when Cruces was headmaster about which the least said, soonest mended. 

Back when Downey and Vetinari were graduating, when weapons were allowed, all students were given a ceremonial sword and they got to wear it when they went up to take their diploma. Students still get a ceremonial sword (or dagger, depending on preference) but they are received after the ceremony. 

The infamous ring is presented alongside the diploma. 

For those not taking the Black, it’s still the same roster of speakers but it’s usually a faster ceremony (though, that is changing over the years as the Guild is sought out more and more as a general-purpose educational institution for parents seeking a classical education for their children). 

Students in this group are also gifted a ceremonial sword but they’re allowed to wear theirs during the graduation ceremony because most can do nice, polite, gentlemanly dueling and not much else. Unlike their colleagues who can use it in increasingly diverse and experimental fashions. 

After both ceremonies are complete there is a grand dinner with students and their families and much conviviality. Under Downey’s reign as headmaster the amount of “accidental deaths” that occurred at this dinner have decreased dramatically. Mostly because unlike previous headmaster, Downey thinks it a waste of a good education to knock someone off so soon. Also, it is deplorable manners and not civil.

(Vimes, “It’s also immoral.” Downey, “I fail to see your point, commander?”) 

Wait at least a year or two until inhuming that One Guy who was A Class A Cunt During Maths. Or, if they’re really that bothersome, at least have the grace to wait until after the pudding has been served. 

--

Pre-graduation tomfoolery 

The graduating class, as a whole (well, those who survived the Run and those not taking the Black who haven’t accidentally fallen down the stairs), have two weeks between end of term and graduation and tend to run absolutely wild. 

Downey’s main rule is: no one is inhumed, his dogs are left alone and nothing is set on fire; flooded; booby-trapped; or exploded etc.* 

*see fine print for continuing list. 

It is considered a grand tradition for each house to prank their house master. One year, students cellophaned everything in Mericet’s office. Including individual pages of books. Downey thought this absolutely Delightful. Mericet said, “that’s it, I’m retiring.” Which is, coincidentally, what he says every year. 

Students will also strike up a very large game of Gotcha (i.e. Assassin) over the course of the intervening weeks between Term and Graduation. It used to be a very deadly endeavour but due to Downey’s new rule of “no inhuming until after graduation you daft kids” it’s just become a way to dunk on people. 

These are also the weeks that students clean out their rooms which is always an adventure. Many will try and discreetly sneak out their illegal pot plants and shroom logs. Those that hide them in places that aren’t their room will have minor panic attacks because Lady T’Malia and other staff enjoy rounding up the plants ahead of the students and watching the fallout. 

(Vetinari: I really should tell Vimes you have enough here to supply everyone in the city for a decade. 

Downey: Leave my drug collection alone.)

There is a lot of Lady T’Malia and others being like, “You all do know we hid our illegal shit in the exact same places, right?’ 

Students will also throw end-of-year ragers in the common room which the staff pretend to know nothing about. These tend to get very messy very quickly. Downey will show up around 3am to shut it down, though. Because some people need to sleep and aren’t 18 anymore. 

--

Anyway, that’s the long and short of my headcanon for Guild Graduation nonsense. All in all it’s a rowdy if somewhat bittersweet time. Downey secretly gets a little teary eyed over it. Aww look at his tiny little murderers going off into the big wide world. He remembers when they first arrived with knobbly knees and big eyes. His paternal side comes out in full force. 

Vetinari: it’s very good you have hundreds of students and several dogs because I don’t know what you’d do without them since you’re basically 110% a dad. 

Downey: i might have gotten married. What a horrifying concept. 

Vetinari: 

Vetinari: I have weird feelings about that which I am not going to explore in any great depth. 

--

Thank you so much for the ask! <3 <3 

[izayoichan]

Check In Tag ✔️

Well I am probably late for this as well then, but thanks for the tag @fataleromeo

Why did you choose your URL? – Well Izayoi is always taken, and I didn’t think of Izayoiri until later, so every single link I made in my stories will break if I change it to that now.. so yeah. It became a way to use my general internet name in this blod as well. 

Any side blogs? – Nope, none

How long have you been on tumblr? – I think two years ish.. something like that at least 

Do you have a queue tag? – Ehm.. since I don’t know what that is, I will go with no.

Why did you start your blog in the first place? – I followed a friend who posted art on tumblr, so to follow and rightfully give her all the love she deserved, and when looking around I stumbled over the simblr community, and here we are today.

Why did you choose your icon/pfp? – It’s my vtuber/png that I use for streaming instead of my self. They are boss-cat and his stardragon, very much inspired by my sims and @mahvaladara awesome dragons and lore.

Why did you choose your header? – I change it between the drawings I commissioned/got from @mahvaladara as I love them, and the new setup I found that I do love, does not have the way the old one had to swap between images, so I try and remember doing it manually. 

What’s your post with the most notes? –  My current give away I think, which is not surprising at all. I am normally lucky if I get above 10 on anything else, so there wasn’t much competition 😎

How many mutuals do you have? – If I counted it right.. 42.. I think (good number) I was never any good with social media stuff though so

How many followers do you have? – 424 still many more than I thought I’d ever see.

How many people do you follow? – 107, like I said, not good with social media. 

Have you ever made a shitpost? – Ehm, not sure what qualifies as one, so maybe?

How often do you use tumblr each day? – I am kinda active all day, I like to check to read the stories I love, and when those are posted, I tend to be much less active. 

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won? – Nope, I do not do drama, can’t be arsed.

Do you like tag games? – Yes, depending on what kind it is

Do you like ask games? – I love them, but I know I am often bad at asking others, and I fear almost always to not be interesting enough, or have a good enough story to be asked, so I also often skip.

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? – I don’t know tbh.. I have no idea what qualifies you as tumblr famous?

Do you have a crush on a mutual? – Nope.

I will tag @dandylion240 @mahvaladara @katmk36 @gumdropsimstop I think most everyone else has been tagged and I probably tagged some that already have. Do it if you want to, and of course if not, skip it :)

[an0nymousghost]

simblr asks v2

here are my answers! find the questions here.

i wrote soo much ahaha. like however much you think i wrote, i wrote more than that. imo everything i write is gold though

1. are you going to buy the new pack (cottage living) when it comes out? no, it looks really nice but i legit never ever buy packs at launch, especially cause this one is a expansion and it will probably go on sale at some point

2. do you p*rate your dlc or buy it legitimately? buy it legitimately 👌

3. what’s your favorite world? brindleton bay, it gives like seaside cottage vibes. willow creek is good but it’s boring. 

4. if you use a queue, how many posts per day do you set it as? 3 or 4. i used to do like 12 lmaoo what even was wrong with me

5. do you watch sims on youtube? yes, i watch mainly malixa, oshinsims, and msgryphi

6. what are your thoughts on the most recent pack? (dream home decorator) those sectional couches look good! but honestly im kinda annoyed because now it’s even harder to have all the items filled in when i place lots from the gallery. like i’m just saying like a lot of builds will use that pack probably and if i don’t get it then i can’t really use builds/save files 

7. how many packs/kits do you own? lemme count

expansion: all - 10/10 game: 5/10 stuff: 9/18 kits: none xo

24/38 - 63%

8. what’s your origin id? is it the same as your url? 🤗 it’s in my title, it’s celeschul. it doesn’t look that nice in my title but i use celeschul in my package files and i’m guessing people search things like, “celeschul penny hair” or something like that in order to find my cc- so i keep it in there so the search results are easier. i do want to change it though..

but no it’s also not the same! well i mean it’s the username i use for cc. my origin id used to be an0nymousghost but i changed it. i wonder if anyone’s taken that one?

9. is your simblr your sideblog or main blog? main blog ✌️ my old blog @stardze​ is a main blog as well.

my old old simblr was a sideblog but it had like 1 follower and it literally a bot so i don’t think that counts. i have a multifandom sideblog though 

10. do you have a cc finds blog? i wish. i was thinking bout it earlier and that would be sooo neat but sometimes i download stuff that doesn’t have a tumblr post attached to it, and also it’s stressful to keep up with so nah

11. are you wcif friendly? yes sir. in fact i bring the trouble of wcifs onto myself but doing them even when nobody asked.

12. what’s your favorite sized household to play with? (ex. 1 sim, 4 sims) gonna have to think on this one, honestly 1 sim is really fun and stuff goes by so fast. doing stuff with astrid when she was on her own, it was much more efficient. 

for families, i haven’t done that in a while actually. 5, 2 parents and 3 kids is cute tho. why did i write this this is honestly such a hard question

13. if you have c&d, do you play with pets? i feel like i haven’t played with cats and dogs in forever. honestly i just have no paitence. noelle fae was supposed to get a cat (there’s a food bowl + cat bed in her house) but when summer vacation started, the amount of time i spent playing ts4 decreased a lot. (this doesn’t really make sense, i have a lot more time. honestly it just has to do with my recent obsession with a certain anime/manga and some other personal thing)

i did random nightmares in may though and i had pets frequently. g5 didn’t because sofia scarlett lived in an apartment, but g2/3/4 had cici, and g1 had all the cats. but that was back in march so it’s been a while.

14. what lifespan do you use? i really want to do aging off but then i feel like it drags on. but aging legit stresses me out, sometimes i just want to sit down and do some cas stuff but i only have 2 hours in real time and there’s like 4 days left till one of my sims’ birthdays. 

15. if you own a lot of packs, how many of them have you actually played through? just so everyone is aware this question was made for me

i feel like eps require a specific save made for testing them out, but the only save i’ve ever made for an ep is noelle fae’s get famous save. 

that is literally a lie - i made a save for island living with one of my 100bc kids, maisie acapella. i did actually post it on tumblr BUT then i deleted all the posts BUT i reblogged them on my alt account BUT i privated my alt account so i honestly forgot about it

i have never played through discover university or watched anyone do it on youtube, i’ve read gerbits’ story about it so i think i’m pretty qualified. i’ve always wanted to do one with periwinkle acapella but i never got around to it

another ep i know nothing about is get to work

i tried doing a eco life playthrough but i hadn’t watched any videos and i was like..what is going on. so i quit lolx d ;;;;; i mentioned it but the whimsy stories legacy was the first time i had played with the eco lifestyle features so technically i think i know what im doing

i got outdoor retreat literally on monday of this week so i haven’t played through it yet. 

jungle adventure i still don’t know what’s going on. i remember last year before i bought the pack i was brainstorming, and wanted to do a ja playthrough with luna and cedar, who are a couple who i did a random legacy with and it was all queued to post when i deleted everything (if you’re wondering why, it’s because my queue was literally 200+ posts). except this time i didn’t save them to my sideblog so i lost them. 

i still havent had a restaurant in dine out 

also never did the vet thing from cats and dogs

i have no idea what that rock climbing thing is from snowy escape but i did most of the other stuff because rn g5

city living i did through psc stage 5 and also it was the first pack i bought anyways

the rest of them are either stuff packs or i ended up playing them through casual gameplay (seasons, parenthood)

16. what do you do as you play sims? (ex. listen to music) i listen to music most of the time, or listen to commentary youtube videos because i am an alpha chad. i also used to talk with my friends on voice call but i don’t do that anymore 🥲

17. which sims challenges have you tried? random legacy, whimsy stories, perfect sim challenge, 100 baby, legacy (just the plain get-to-10-gens one), random nightmares, berry zodiac, astrology legacy, apocalypse

i feel like im forgetting some.. honestly most of the stuff i did before simblr was either 100 baby (i love that challenge) or random saves that lasted for 2 seconds. 

18. do you like the new(ish) hair swatches? nah. 

i do appreciate that most cc hairs have a true (ish) black, thank god! and the fact that the hair update is what inspired me to update and fix a bunch of hairs with different issues is pretty nice. but will i use them? no. 

plus it takes up like 5 gb? depending on how many packs you have.

19. post the latest screenshot you took 📸

i live in cas

20. what is the cc/ingame hair that looks the most like your own? i think that dream home decorator side part hair looks a lot like my hair. honestly i havent see much like my hair but that one is kinda-? close

21. who is your favorite sim of yours and what is their story? noelle and alari fae i think! 

link to post

noelle is blonde and has blue-grey eyes. she wears purple contacts pretty often though (because she wants to 😌)

alari has light brown hair that is kinda curly, and she’s got pretty vibrant blue eyes. 

they’re sisters, alari is 3 years older than noelle. noelle was 19 and alari was 22 when they got spotted

they worked as models when they were young adults. their jobs involved dyeing their hair blue/pink, and they would model like clothes and stuff. anyways, they were pretty successful. like not ultra famous but they had enough money to not work for the rest of their lives. 

their modeling group was made of 4 girls, the others were named paisley autumn and they were green and red, respectively. some things are: 

paisley and alari started dating during this 

autumn was a single mother to a little girl named destiny

noelle dated many people during this but never ended up finding the one <3

when their contract ended after like 6 years, paisley and alari went to go live together and noelle decided to get into acting. so thats when get famous playthrough started!

there’s more but basically they’re like oc’s with sims on the side. xoxo

22. if you use cc, are there any cc creators that you have like ALL of their items? this is such a good question! i hoard hair very heavily (my folder is 11gb) i so i have like 97% from most of the popular hair creators. 

i think i had legitimately EVERYTHING from simstrouble though, i went through multiple times to check and i also have all of her retired stuff. 

i have everything from ridgeport i think-? because of the fact that she uploaded all her stuff in one big zip. 

i think that’s it.. for a long time i also had everything by clumsyalienn, but then i ended up deleting it and only keeping my faves. 

and looking at my collection, maybe ah00b? i might be missing a couple but i at least have like 99%.

23. what’s one pack you think is underrated? dine out, it’s laggy af yes but it’s such a nice thing for my sims to do. 

24. what are your favorite sims stories/legacies? melons by gerbits always and forever

this question was inspired by this ask anyways so 

25. if you could change one small thing about ts4, what would it be? most of my suggestions are pretty complex but literally just - when you add tray files, they appear at the top. my life would be so much easier

this took me literal hours to answer

[sheisraging]

Tagged by: @nightlocktime (thanks!)

1. Why did you choose your url? 

It is a U2 lyric and I love them.

2. Any sideblogs? 

No.

3. How long have you been on tumblr? 

Uhhhh... I wanna say since like 2010.

4. Do you have a queue tag? 

Yes

5. Why did you start your blog? 

LOL TO LOOK AT PRETTY PICTURES.

6. Why did you choose your icon? 

Because it’s Elio/Oliver and I love them

7. Why did you choose your header? 

Because it’s Chris Evans and he’s my husband.

8. What’s your post with the most notes? 

GOD. A post of stills from Orange is the New Black with the full caption of Cindy talking about why she wants to convert to Judaism. It’s not even gifs I have no idea why it has so many notes, though it WAS a good monologue.

9. How many mutuals do you have? 

80 or so

10. How many followers do you have? 

6.8k ish (hello who are you all and what are you all doing here?)

11. How many people do you follow? 

137 

12. Have you ever made a sh*tpost? 

Honestly unsure. What qualifies as a shit post?

13. How often do you use tumblr? 

Too often, but mostly I just scroll like 2 pages worth of my dash and refresh.

14. Did you ever have a fight with another blog? 

Not as far as I know of. At least not one that I participated in.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog” posts? 

I feel like I do not need to reblog them.

16. Do you like tag games? 

Sometimes - depends on the game.

17. Do you like ask games? 

Yes.

18. Which mutual do you think is famous? 

I know that @bartbarthelme is famous.

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual? 

All of them.

Tagging: @bartbarthelme @provenance @headbandsandflats @kissedbifire

[skwtches]

husk for the ask game!! :D

favorite thing about them

SO MANY THINGS!! no joke, i started a list the other day of reasons i like him sm, and its not even close to being finished even tho its a page long already skdfjdd

BUT, i’d say a big reason is bc there’s so much to be explored with his character and what we have of him so far in terms of personality & hints of his past leaves an extremely interesting canvas that im more than excited abt seeing come into full form in the future. 

least favorite thing about them

he has very little canon content other than his 3-ish minutes of screentime in the pilot & some fun facts from the creators, so im kinda starved for official content and will just,, impulse purchase any small amount of official merch he has :pensive:

like, don’t mind me, i’ll simply stand & wait for him to get a prequel comic like the silly little fool i am 🧍

favorite line(s)

“I lost the ability to love years ago.” (kdjfjd ik in my soul that that line is important, i swear-!!)

“Oh, you thought it would be some kinda big fuckin’ riot just to pull me outta nowhere?! You think I’m some kind of fucking clown?!” (more to add to my hc that he struggles w being taken seriously by his peers & gets defensive thanks to his insecurities-)

brOTP

husk & niffty

husk & crymini (found family trope has me in a tight grasp & i just wanna see these two getting along & husk unwillingly becoming a father figure for her PLS)

husk & charlie

husk & cherri & angel

husk & vaggie

husk & mimzy

OTP

huskerdust

nOTP

radiohusk (rly don’t like them as a ship. HOWEVER, im rly interested in knowing their history together & how they know each other kdjfdkjf)

husklie

random headcanon

going off of the fact he canonically likes magic tricks, i rly like the idea that he did stage magic a lot when he was alive (prolly when he was younger)

ALSO, i love the idea that he’s actually super perceptive & pays attention to what goes on around him whilst pretending to simply brush it all off

unpopular opinion

prolly doesn’t qualify as an unpopular opinion, but i once saw the take that husk was an uninteresting character & it made me so frustrated dkfjdjfk

song(s) i associate with them

me finding more songs by passenger was such a mistake bc i associate way too many with husk now, esp ‘a song for the drunk and broken hearted’

oh, and i hope that i don’t fall in love with you by tom waits! what i love abt this one is that husk’s va himself said on a stream that this song rly reminds him of husk & he even sang & posted a snippet of it as husk on twitter (which 1, makes it clear that husk should sing at some point in the show PLS, and 2, i gotta finish my husk animatic to this song eventually hhhh)

i also associate a lot of sinatra w/ him!! specifically his cover of i’m getting sentimental over you :)

ALSO ALSO, tortured soul by chord overstreet bc it’s literally just a huskerdust song from his perspective 

no i will not be taking constructive criticism /j

favorite picture of them

[brawltogethernow]

So the problem starts, the problem starts when Kaine agrees to go to a bake sale.

This little old lady put her hand on his face, see? What are little old ladies doing putting their hands on his face? Doesn’t she know he could snap her neck with a finger twitch?

“You are a good Catholic boy,” she says. “I know one when I see one,” she interrupts when he opens his mouth to protest, though he wasn’t yet decided which descriptor to zero in on first. “You are always at confession.”

Kaine may, possibly, have been using confession as a kind of no-papers-required stand-in for therapy. Or maybe a no-blood-shed-Aracely-isn’t-glaring-at-me stand-in for hurting himself.

He has enough brain cells not to say this. Barely.

“Thank you,” he says instead, and tries to pull away.

She leans with him. Her hands remain on his face.

“But I never see you anywhere else!” she says. “You must come to the bake sale. It’s on Friday.”

“Okay,” says Kaine’s mouth entirely without his input. He was born with an inbuilt structural weakness against little old battle axes. He attributes this to the ghost echoes of Peter Parker’s idyllic childhood.

-

“So what are we making?” demands Aracely as soon as he returns to the presidential suite. “Lemon bars? People on TV make lemon bars. What is a lemon bar?”

Sometimes, Kaine is more glad than anything that she's always eavesdropping on the inside of his head. Often, he’d cut off a limb, hell, all his limbs, to keep her out. He'd grow a bunch of spider legs again and then cut those off. He’s not sure exactly where this falls between the two extremes. But definitely closer to the negative side.

“Oh,” she says as if he answered, tipping her head. She’s turned around on the couch and sat up on her knees and braced her arms on the back of it to see him better. “You don’t know either. That’s okay, we can Google it.”

-

So they burn the kitchenette a little bit.

"We can rebuild it," says Arcacely. "We have the technology."

He definitely leaves her in front of the TV too much. But what's the alternative, bringing her with him more?

"Yes, it is," says Aracely like he spoke out loud. "And that is but one more reason why you should do that."

"Hell no," says Kaine, and books it out of the suite fast enough that he can pretend he didn't hear her shout, "Swear jar!"

-

He finds the maid who most often handles their rooms. He hands her a stack of hundreds for her trouble, then gives her a couple more because he can tell the exchange has scared her. He tells her the hotel can bill him the damages. And then he asks her how to get to the hotel kitchen.

Aracely appears, out of breath, as he finishes bribing his way into use of a stove. Her ability to do this is one reason among many why he doesn't own a cellphone.

"You could have just asked them," she chirps, methodically going through the room and opening, examining, and then closing every drawer. It's empty right now, so there's no one to stop her. "I think they would have just let us use the kitchen. The people here like you."

"No, they don't," corrects Kaine. "And who cares? It's not like we need to save money." He can just go hit more human traffickers if he runs low. And since he spends a lot of his time doing this even when he's not running low, he is in absolutely no danger of running low. He's pretty sure he could buy a yacht, or a politician.

"Success!" proclaims Aracely, and when Kaine turns around she's holding a clear plastic tub of brown powder over her head. There's a piece of paper laminated to the side with text printed on it that might be a recipe. "Brownie mix!"

-

"That is not food," declares Aracely of their creation. "No one is going to buy that."

Kaine leans over to examine it. It's kind of...grainy.

"Brownie sand," says Aracely. "Could we start a new trend?"

Kaine sighs. They should have known trying to quarter the banquet-sized serving on the tub was a bad idea. They have clearly miscalculated on some ephemeral measurement level. They've angered the baking gods.

"Are there baking gods?" inquires Aracely.

"Why don't you ask the Catholics," says Kaine, and tugs her away to tip the cleaning staff again.

-

“This is good too,” says Aracely, presiding over the storebought tubs of those weird shitty grocery store cookies that are mostly icing that they brought instead.

“I don’t even know how I got here,” says Kaine. “What are we doing here?”

His nose twitches. He’s not sure if one of them still smells like burnt lemons or if he’s just imagining it. He does know that he’s avoiding anything lemony for a long time.

-

The woman who got him into this sidles up to them shortly after they set up, looking very pleased to see him there.

"Always good to see fresh faces," she says, and winks at him.

She continues to talk in a way that stays steadily one step to the left of him feeling like he has a firm grasp on the conversation. Possibly that's because he's overthinking things and doubting whether he's correctly interpreting a single word she's saying. What even is "the congregation", in this context?

He looks at Aracely.

She shrugs.

Is it a list. Do you have to complete a set of tasks to qualify. Are there membership cards?

Aracely shrugs a little more beffudledly. Her reeducation via television and following a vigilante around active crime scenes must not have taught her about this.

-

The bake sale is to raise money to fix the air conditioner. This means that the building is the same temperature inside as it is outside. The best description he can come up with for the response the people in the room are having to the sweltering temperature is "cheerfully miserable".

Other than that it's...weird. Festival-ish? It kind of plucks the strings of memories that don't belong to him of May Parker presiding over neighborhood events with an endlessly gentle iron fist, but it also doesn't. He also kind of feels like he is impersonating someone who is actually supposed to be here. But that's nothing new.

There is a big confused snarl in Kaine's chest made mostly of other people's experiences that he can't even begin to interpret if he pings himself about the concept of "God". He thought that might be a problem if he just walked in here and...socialized.

It is not. No one is asking him about God.

"What do you think about the setup this time?" a woman with a thin mouth and long, spindly fingers demands. Her lipstick is the same shade as Annabelle's hair and her turtleneck suggests a total lack of concern for the wet Houston heat that Kaine finds honestly terrifying.

"The--?" he starts to answer.

"It's definitely for the best they didn't decide to hold it in the basement again," she continues, saving him from answering her not-really-a-question. "I mean, why? The lobby has all these lovely windows."

She gestures. Kaine nods along, his adrenaline spiking more than it ever has for any interaction with a werewolf or a most dangerous game type with a knife.

Thus follows a brief interaction where Kaine hums or nods when appropriate, and in return learns that she's very invested in the greater accessibility of the lobby, she plays piano on a volunteer basis for the church, and she knows he's "one of Marie's injections of fresh blood" but doesn't seem interested on calling him out for not belonging here.

"Do come to the community breakfast tomorrow," she finishes, buys two cookies, and leaves.

The emotional aftermath is akin to having weathered a near-death experience.

-

Aracely has found an older couple to speak Spanish with and is chirping away at the same blistering clip typical of her English, but with a more fluid cadence that betrays it's at least one of her native languages. The in-his-head thing doesn't really go both ways, so he has no idea what they're talking about. Probably something he'd regret knowing. What if she is asking them about baking gods.

A guy in a priest...collar...thing...who Kaine hopes desperately is not the one he sometimes monopolizes, or, failing that, does not recognize him, has sprouted up to make polite conversation.

"Not a bad turnout today, eh?" he says.

"Good thing they moved it back into the lobby," tries Kaine.

The priest beams at him like he's repeated the secret code.

"So true," he says.

Kaine is totally mastering churches. This is great. He bets if it were Peter in his place he would have started a fight by now.

-

"I think that went well," says Aracely after they've retreated to the suite and she's curled back up on the couch with a bowl of...something. She stabs the contents of the bowl with a spoon. "We should definitely do that again. Socializing with your community is almost as important as scaring away all its drug lords!"

"They're not my community," says Kaine. Not just the Catholic church a few blocks away from the hotel, which he still thinks he prefers from inside an anonymous guilt box. Houston is not Kaine's community. He does not have, does not get to have, a community. (Aracely rolls her eyes in an incredibly teenagery way, projecting exasperation either at his answer or his train of thought.) "What are you eating?"

She salutes him with her spoon. "Brownie sand! It's very edible!"

"Ichh," says Kaine.

"It's good for you!" Aracely declares. She looks dubiously down at her bowl, and corrects, "It's not actively bad for you!"

"No more chocolate," says Kaine. "No more lemons. No."

"But maybe some more bake sales?"

"...Maybe."

"Yes!"

==

On AO3 (where the title and summary can be considered a bonus gag). Last year the GG Discord was talking about how the Marvel wiki categorizes characters by religious affiliation, which led to questioning why Kaine Parker was listed as Catholic. I reported back several months later after I read Scarlet Spider that it was because he started going to confession after being thrown through a church wall, which prompted gelpenss to pitch the mental image of Kaine showing up to one of the less cinematic things people do in churches.

[molluskmo]

Tag Game

Tagged by @robyntheredhead

1. Why did you choose your URL?

My fanfiction username is Catlorde, but it was already taken. I was also watching Game of Thrones around the time I joined tumblr, so Lordmotherofcats was kind of the unfortunate love child of the two.

2. Any side blogs?

I have a fanfiction/fanart side blog @catlordee It’s where I post some of my own fanfiction and reblog other people’s fandom content.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

5 - 6 ish years I think. Not sure but it was junior or senior year of high school.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Not 100% sure what that is so I guess not.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

My siblings and I all made tumblr blogs at the same time bc bonding I guess. I would’ve eventually made one anyway bc fandoms.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

My brother drew it for me and I love it.

7. Why did you choose your header?

Aesthetic/bi color scheme

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

A Doctor Who chart sorting every incarnation of the Doctor on a three way axis between James Bond, Mary Poppins, and Willy Wonka. My finest work.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Honestly no idea. At least 20 I think.

10. How many followers do you have?

196 but at least some of those are pornbots that I didn’t care about enough to block.

11. How many people do you follow?

446 lol. Apparently I collect.

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

Tbh I feel like everything I’ve done probably qualifies as a shit post to at least someone out there.

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

A lot. I scroll here when I’m bored/brain dead which is always.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Kind of. People always get snippy when I post a critique of a character or popular ship. But the closest I got to a fight is when some kid tried to pick an argument after I said in a post that I was happy (still am) that Gina Carano got fired by Disney. I don’t bother fighting with people who just pick fights bc they can and just shut them down. They finally gave up after trying to play nice and be friends once they realized how stupid they looked.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Almost never reblog them. Even if it was something I may have originally reblogged once I see the ‘if you don’t reblog you’re a bad person’ etc I immediately want nothing to do with it.

16. Do you like tag games?

Yeah sure I guess. I haven’t done many of them and only have a few people on tumblr who like talking to me so jury’s still out on that one.

17. Do you like ask games?

Again, haven’t done many and only have a few people who I directly interact with so not sure yet.

18. Which of your mutual as do you think is tumblr famous?

No clue. Like I do in real life, I also spend my time on tumblr under a rock.

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I don’t think I know anyone well enough personally to have a real crush. I sometimes develop passing crushes on the IDEA of them. Does that count?

20. Tags

@geerlynotgirly @elliemuze @somethingcleveroneday @wt5464erttiii6547