#ask game: tell me what line you remember from my writing and how it impacted you!

[molinaskies]

This is literally my favorite line in “I Love You Come With Me.”

“He only comes out with you, y’know. I think the only reason I could even admit to all that is because it was to you,” I say, but shake my head. “No. No. I know that was the only reason. With you, I feel like a partner and not like I have to call all the shots. I can fall because you’ll catch me. I can recover because you’ll protect me. I can cry because you’ll never judge. I can be honest with you because you’ll understand. That Sonic is at his strongest with you, Amy, and… and he loves you so much.”

It’s just SO SWEET. I’d like to know your thought process on writting this if you don’t mind.

Awhhhh!! This is fun :)

I’m glad this line resonated with you so much. Thank you, again, for reading ILYCWM and for sharing ♥️

In terms of my thought process, there are a couple gaps here and there because I wrote ILYCWM almost three years ago (isn’t that crazy??), but the major takeaway is that this, in some form, was one of the first lines I ever wrote for the story.

I knew from very early on that I wanted to end up here, with Sonic admitting his feelings out loud to Amy. ILYCWM isn’t a story about Sonic falling in love, but him finding the bravery and courage to express the love he’s known he’s felt for a very long time. Alongside that, the story is about Sonic realizing his emotions are an asset more than a liability and that he deserves, like every other being, to express them.

A big barrier to Sonic having this realization is that he never felt safe (or willing) to explore these ideas. Through his time in close proximity to Amy, those barriers naturally degrade because Sonic’s love for her makes him feel safe—and out comes his more authentic self.

“Sonic the Hedgehog: No Qualifiers”

———

"I Love You-Come With Me"

What if when Sonic asks Amy to go with him on an adventure, she says yes? They've always been inseparable kindred spirits, but what exactly makes their bond so unique, and where do they make each other stronger?

This is my Sonamy Thesis. This is that story.

[mariclerc]

Hiiii,,

Im in a very angsty mood and was wondering if u could write charles x driver!reader where reader gets in a crash similar to jules’? Maybe have her in the hospital for a bit and charles is scared that he’ll lose her? Thanks ahead of time. Hope u have a nice day!

thanks for this request! I made the effort to write angst, since it is the first time I do it. I hope you like it!!

Fighter | cl16

Summary: where you have a serious accident on the track and Charles's memories of it aren't the most pleasant ones.

Warning: a little bit of angst, a worried and scared Charles, injured reader, some swearing.

a/n: This is the first time I've tried to write angst, so sorry if it's not quite perfect. There's going to be a little point of view from Charles. Let me know if you want a part two of this <3

Part 2

“Are you excited about the race, coeur?” Charles asks you as you enter the paddock. (heart)

You nod. “Yep! I think we can give Red Bull a good fight, and you? Are you excited?” you ask him as you stop to sign some autographs for the fans.

“As long as you don't pass my shiny red car on track, everything's fine.” He says and you roll your eyes with a smile, he giggles.

You two have been a couple for years, specifically since you were both racing in European F4, and although it took you a bit to get up to F1, you finally did it and this was your fifth season. You currently race for Mercedes and there is always that rivalry with the Prancing Horse, a rivalry which you both do not pay much attention to since, if it were up to you, you would support each other on the track as you do off track. You are the most loved and appreciated couple in the paddock, people love the dynamic of the two of you, how you are with each other and so on, and knowing each other from karting and then being a couple and staying together until now is not for everyone.

“Well, I think it's time, see you honey!” you said as you walked up to him to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Be safe, okay?”

“You too chérie!” He said as he also gave you a kiss on the cheek and you both walked to your respective teams. “Love you!”

You enter the Mercedes hospitality and go up to your driver's room and change into your racing suit and then go to the starting grid. Everyone was making the final preparations to start the race and the formation lap, you start in 4th position behind Fernando Alonso and in front of Esteban Ocon, maybe you have to make a good start, but you are confident that you can reach the podium together with Max —who starts first and Charles —who starts second... It's going to be a busy race.

***

So far the race is going well, already in the last part of the race, you are in third place fighting with Max for second place, there is a chance of rain but nothing to worry about...

Or at least that's what you thought...

The track began to get very wet even though it was a "light drizzle" and overtaking became a difficult task, likewise, no driver went into the pits to change tires and there was no warning from the FIA as to whether the drizzle was going to evolve into a storm.

Fighting with Max for second place, you got lost and the car took a turn until the nose was almost inside the net that separates the track from the stands, your head, despite having the helmet, was pushed back... You only remember the big impact against the barrier and your head going numb.

Charles' pov

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, please tell me y/n is okay?” I tell my track engineer as I see Y/n's car under the barrier.

“Apparently not, but they say she's fine.” my engineer answers.

But of course she's not fine, fuck it, she's not fine at all. All the cars line up on the pit line while y/n's strong crash repeats on the screens of the circuit, I get out of the car upset and needing answers.

“Shit, shit shit. Why the hell didn't they report about the rain? They think this is a fucking game?” I say to myself as I take off my helmet and throw it somewhere in the box, Andrea hands me a bottle of water and I take it. “I don't understand, I... The same thing can't be repeated, fuck it.” I murmur as I place my head in my hands. “It's incredible that years go by and the same old fucking shit is always repeated, because of them and their inability.”

Upon hearing over the circuit loudspeakers that the race was not going to resume, Andrea takes me to the Ferrari hospitality and I go up to my driver's room where I change out of my racing suit for my Ferrari t-shirt and a pair of jeans, I don't mind going to the "podium" like that and standing in first place, I just need to know if she's okay.

A couple of years ago I lost important people thanks to the same reason: a racing accident, both were horrible accidents that left a mark on me but none like the one I just witnessed. First it was my sports godfather, Jules, his accident left me scarred for life, thanks to this a new safety device was implemented —which doesn't do much to be honest. He died thanks to an accident that left him in a coma for months... Every day I went with my father to the hospital to see him, to see if he was still with us. Then it was one of my childhood friends thanks to karting, Anthoine, It was in an F2 race on the same circuit where hours later I would take the pole position that would give me my first victory in F1, but what happened to him was instantaneous... The next day they announced that he had passed away, my first victory was dedicated to him.

Just as I'm on my way to the "podium" Fred and Toto pull me from the side. “They take y/n to the hospital.” Fred says looking at me.

“Shit... Fuck, why her? Damn tell me if she's...” I couldn't finish speaking because Toto interrupted me.

“Go with her kid.”

“We'll take care of the rest, but go with her.” Fred says, patting me on the back and I run to Andrea to look for my things in the hospitality so I can go, I feel frustrated with myself and I know it's not my fault, but I wish it hadn't happened to her.

***

The sterile white of the ceiling swims into focus as your blurry vision starts to clear a little but you can't fully open your eyes. A rhythmic beeping cuts through the silence of the room. You try to speak, but your throat feels raw and unused. Strained voices filter in from beside your bed.

“...How long has it been? Do they know anything yet?” says Charles with his voice tight with worry.

A female voice is heard, calm but firm. “Mr. Leclerc, we're doing everything we can. The doctors will be with you shortly to explain the results of the scans.”

”But it's been hours!” says Charles with cracked voice. ”Can't they just tell me if she's going to be fucking alright?”

You hear the soft rustle of clothing and a sigh. The beeping quickens slightly.

“We're doing everything we can, dear. She's a strong girl.” The nurse says leaving the room.

He squeezes your hand again, his voice dropping to a frustrated whisper. His eyes don't leave your face.

“Just like Jules... just like Anthoine... why does this always happen? Why you my dear?” he says to himself. “I wish... I wish it had been me and not you amore.”

The door creaks open and the doctor enters the room. Charles straightens up, a flicker of hope in his eyes.

“Doctor, you have an update?” Charles asks.

“We've run some additional tests. There seems to be a minor head injury causing some swelling. It's putting pressure on...”

Charles doesn't wait for him to finish. “Is it serious? When will she wake up?”

The doctor sighs. “It's difficult to say for sure, Mr. Leclerc. Head injuries are unpredictable. But we're monitoring her closely.”

Charles lets out a defeated sigh. The doctor places a hand on his arm.

“She's a fighter, Mr. Leclerc. Just like you.” The doctor says and then leaves the room and gives way to the nurse.

Charles manages a weak nod, his gaze returning to your still form. He leans closer, his voice barely a whisper.

“Come on y/n, wake up. We have a race to win... together.” he whispers.

A faint flicker of movement beneath your eyelids goes unnoticed by everyone in the room. A single tear rolls down your cheek, tracing a path through the dust collected on your hospital gown. The faint movement under your eyelids becomes more pronounced. Your brow furrows slightly, as if struggling against the weight of unconsciousness. A soft groan escapes your lips.

Charles' head snaps up, his eyes widening in disbelief. He leans in closer, his voice thick with emotion.

”Y/n? Can you hear me love?” Charles says whispering.

Your eyes flutter open, blurry and disoriented. The harsh fluorescent lights of the hospital room assault your vision. You let out a low moan, squeezing your eyes shut again in protest.

“Hey, hey, easy. It's okay, you're safe, you're in the hospital.” he says urgently.

A wave of nausea washes over you. You try to speak, but your throat feels raw and scratchy. ”Charles...?” you say weakly.

Your voice comes out in a hoarse rasp, it's barely a whisper, but to Charles, it's the sweetest sound in the world. A relieved smile breaks across his face.

“There you are! Don't you ever scare me like that again, okay?” His voice slightly breaks.

He reaches out and gently tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His touch is warm and comforting, the nurse speaks.

“How are you feeling y/n?” the nurse asked softly.

You try to lift your head, but a sharp pain shoots through it. You wince and let out a small cry.

“Easy, easy, don't try to move princess.” he says concerned.

“What... What happened Charles?” you said with a little confusion in your voice.

“You had a big crash during the race, don't you remember?” he asked softly.

You shake your head slowly, wincing again. Images flash in your mind — the roar of the engine, the blur of the track, the sickening impact...

“The car... The rain... I... I lost control” you whisper.

Tears well up in your eyes, the memory of the crash is terrifyingly vivid. Charles takes your hand in his, his grip strong and reassuring.

“It's okay love, you're okay now. That's all that matters.” he whispers.

He squeezes your hand gently, a silent promise hanging between you. The ordeal is far from over, but for now, the simple act of holding hands speaks volumes. You've survived the crash, and with Charles by your side, you'll face whatever comes next, together. You manage a weak smile at him, the sound of his voice a grounding presence. However, the celebration is short-lived. A dull ache throbs behind your eyes, intensifying with each passing second. You squeeze your temples shut, trying to push the pain back.

“Hey, what's wrong?” he asks, noticing your discomfort.

You open your eyes, a grimace forming on your face. “My head... it feels like it's splitting open.”

The nurse step forward. “That's normal after a head injury, dear. We gave you some pain medication earlier, but it might be wearing off... Let me check your vitals again, okay?”

The nurse bustles around you, taking your temperature and blood pressure. Charles doesn't take his eyes off you, his concern evident.

“Is it serious? Should they give you more medicine?” Charles asked.

“Let's see how she's doing first... Y/n, can you turn your head for me, please? Slowly, to the left and then the right.”

You try as instructed, but a searing pain shoots through your neck, making you flinch and cry out. Tears well up in your eyes again, a mix of frustration and fear.

”See? She can't even move her neck! There's something wrong!” Charles says quite alarmed and almost furious.

“It's alright, Charles. It's likely just muscle stiffness from the impact. We can give her some medication and a neck brace for support.” The nurse says calmly.

“Will I ever be able to race again?” you say a little worried with a trembling voice.

The question hangs heavy in the air, Charles reaches out and strokes your cheek gently. ”Don't worry about racing right now, you need to focus on getting better. We'll figure out the rest later.”

His voice is firm, but his eyes hold a flicker of worry. He knows how much racing means to you... For both of you it is the most important thing in your lives, but now that is in the background.

”Exactly... Right now, rest is the most important thing. We'll get you the medication you need, and we'll monitor your progress closely.” The nurse says as she looks for medicine and the neck brace.

The nurse injects a new pain medication into your IV. The relief is slow, but it gradually takes the edge off the throbbing in your head. The nurse places the neck brace on you, although it needs to be tight, as this prevents neck mobility. You lean back against the pillows, exhaustion washing over you.

“Get some sleep, love. You'll feel better I promise.” he smiles weakly.

You nod weakly, your eyelids drooping. Despite the pain and uncertainty, a sliver of hope flickers within you. You're surrounded by love and support, and that makes all the difference.

As you drift off to sleep, you hear Charles whisper a promise in your ear.

“Everything will be okay baby, I promise... Just stay here with me, okay?” He says and you give a slight thumbs up, you feel your whole body weak and destroyed.

The road to recovery will be long and arduous, but with Charles by your side, you know you can face it head-on, even with a throbbing head and a stiff neck.

The fear of not racing again persists in you, but obviously it is not something you can control, Besides, you don't know exactly if you will spend months off the track. What you do know with great certainty is that you have Charles' constant support and that is enough for you.

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Falling in love again (Christen Press x Reader)

Writers block is being a pain at the moment so sorry it's been a while since I posted. I'll be back to trying to write my list of requests in a few weeks when I'm back from holiday. This wasn't requested, just a random idea and probably not very good but I hope you like it!

Warnings: Death of a partner, grief. If you find anything else let me know and I'll add it!

Words: 4.3K

---

Almost two years had passed since I lost my person. The person I thought I would spend my life with, the person I loved more than I thought it was possible to love someone. Life was cruel like that, giving you a person who understood you, who loved you so deeply, only to rip it away in the worst way possible. The day the phone call came, telling me Talia had been in an accident that claimed her life was a blur. Honestly, at times it still felt like a dream. The overwhelming grief, disbelief and fear I felt that day still ever present if I thought back to it. 

I had almost quit soccer for good after that, but I knew she wouldn't want me too. Talia loved watching me play, she knew how much I loved it, always encouraging me and supporting me in everything I did. So I kept going, every game I played, I played for her. The grief had faded since then. It was always there, it always would be, some days were worse than others, but it was bearable. It didn't consume me like it once had.   

One of the things Talia used to love was colouring in my tattoos. Not that I would have admitted it to her, but once we started dating, my new tattoos were purely designed so she could colour them. Our spare time was often spent with her colouring them while I drew or did random stuff. It was something I found myself doing often, especially when I was missing her.

Someone sat down next to me as I slowly coloured in one of the many tattoos scattered over my body. I didn't pay them much attention, continuing colouring, "What are you doing?"

I shrugged, not looking up at Emily, "Colouring."

"Is she colouring in her tattoos again?" Kelley asked sitting across from us.

"Yup, we really need to get her paper or a colouring book."

"Have you ever noticed even when there's paper around she still does it? Look at how comfortable and peaceful she looks. It's like a built in stress relief." I fought the urge to chuckle at how they talked as if I wasn't there. To be fair I was only half listening. 

"Why do you colour in your tattoos?"

I sighed, putting down the pen. The team had been bugging me for months now about it. These were some of the people I trusted most in the world, there was no reason to keep hiding it from them. "It reminds me of my wife. She would sit there for hours colouring in my tattoos while I drew. It became sort of a routine."

"You're married? You don't wear a ring."

I pulled the chain around my neck that held a simple black band and a silver band with a line of diamonds. "Mine and hers," I took a deep breath trying to control my emotions, "She died almost 2 years ago, I only take it off for games."

"God Y/n, I'm so sorry," Ali said, pulling me in for a quick hug.

Alex was the next to pull me into a tight hug, "How come we never knew? We've known you longer then two years?"

"No one knew except our close friends and family. At the time we weren't as close as we are now and I guess I couldn't bring myself to mention it after. We never specifically hid it, just didn't put it out there. She never wanted to the world to know who she was. Never wanted who she was with to impact her kids."

"She had kids?"

"She was a teacher at a school for kids with disabilities. They meant the world to her, she would do anything for them. It was always a worry that her suddenly being known would affect her job in some way."

"It sounds like she was an amazing person. I'm sad we never got to meet her."

"You did, you just never knew who she was to me."

"Talia? I remember you mentioning that she passed away and that's why you took that break," Alyssa asked.

"Yup, we had been married 4 years the day you met her."

"That's why you completely disappeared that day then wouldn't tell us why."

A small smile appeared on my face remembering that day. We had booked a hotel room, ordered way to much room service, gave each other massages, then had a bath and watched movies. It was simple, but one of my favourite nights besides the day we got married, "She had flown in that weekend just so we could celebrate our anniversary. We never spent one apart."

---

Christen sat down on her bed, staring up at me for a second before speaking, "That's why you turn everyone down when they ask you out? Including me."

There had been many people over the years that had asked me on dates, all being turned down for obvious reasons. Christen had been one of them though, about a year after Talia passed. Besides Talia, Christen was the only person I could actually see myself with if I ever got to a point where I felt ready. That wasn't now, but part of me hoped it would happen soon. Despite the guilt and grief that was there, I wanted the chance to be happy again with someone. We had talked about it a few times and neither of us wanted the other to hold on for too long. Talia would want me to be happy, to move on and one day, when the time was right, I would.

I sighed sitting down next to Christen. Sitting or lying on the others bed was a pretty common occurrence when we roomed together. "You know I know she would want me to be happy, but every time I even think about starting to date again, it feels like I'm betraying her. Like if I start something, I'll forget her."

"You'll never forget her. No matter what you're doing or who you're with, she will always be in your heart. She'll always be your person, but you can love someone else while still loving her just as much as you always have. It's not one or the other and if the next person doesn't understand that then they aren't worth the time. There's no rush to move on."

"Thanks Chris. Out of all the people that have asked me out, you're the only one I thought about saying yes to. I'm sorry I wasn't ready."

Christen placed her hand on my knee, squeezing gently. Something that always seemed to make me feel peace. "Don't be. I always knew there was a slim chance of you saying yes and I accepted that. I was just happy that it didn't change our friendship."

"Would you still be open to that date? Not right now, but sometime in the near future."

"Of course I would. There's no rush or pressure though Y/n/n, whenever you're ready, I'm ready. And if you're never ready that's okay too."

--- Today was two years since Talia was taken. Of course it was game day. When I realised the date it was like a weight was sitting on my chest. Christen was still asleep so I slipped quietly into the bathroom to shower and let the tears out. I had originally been thinking about pulling out of the game, but after my shower I was actually feeling okay to play. I was determined to win for her. 

The final whistle blew as I clung onto whoever was closest, my knees trying to give out on me. The rush of emotions I felt was not what I expected. Happiness, relief, grief all rushing through me as I tried to hold it together in front of everyone. Letting my emotions show in front of friends or family was hard enough, I didn't need that happening in front of the fans. 

I managed to hold it together enough to greet the fans before we made our way to the locker room. As I put the necklace back on, I broke. Tears silently streaming down my cheeks before a sob forced it's way out. Instantly, Ali's arms wrapped around me tightly as I sobbed into her shoulder. I didn't like crying in front of people, but there was no stopping it. So for once, I just let it out with the comfort of the people I trusted most. 

Once I had calmed down, Ali finally spoke up, "What's going on Y/n/n?"

"I-it's been 2 years sin-since- I'm sorry."

Ali's arms tightened as another hand squeezed mine, "Never apologise for feeling how you feel. You can always feel how you feel with us. We've got you always."

We spent longer in the locker room than we normally would as the girls took turns comforting me and making sure I was okay before we left. After dinner, most of the team ended up in one of the rooms for team bonding. There were quite a few questions about Talia, normally I didn't talk about her much because of the emotions it brings up, but everyone seemed genuinely interested in her.  Also, talking about her was actually quite therapeutic.  

Even though it was therapeutic, talking about Talia still brought up emotions so I had found myself cuddled up with Ali for comfort. I had almost went to Christen for comfort, but the guilt had started to creep in again making me decide against it.

"How old were you when you got married? It must have been quite young," Tierna asked.  

"We were. We started dating at 19, married at 23.  Possibly too young in some peoples opinions, but at the time we just got the idea in our heads and went with it. I proposed and 2 months later we were married. My time with Talia was incredible, it was fun and low maintenance. We met in college when we both didn't have a lot of money, most of our dates in our first few years were picnics, walks or movie nights. 

I mean our first anniversary, we made each other homemade cards. Talia got me marshmallows because I was obsessed with them at the time and I got her chocolate and gummy bears. We ended up at the beach, making smores before going back to my apartment and making pasta for dinner. To this day that was probably one one of my favourites. Talia never cared about fancy or expensive things, that never changed the further I got in my professional career or as our money situation changed. She was just happy if we were together."

I knew I was rambling, but I couldn't help myself. Talking about Talia before I lost her was one of my favourite things. The girls didn't seem to mind though as everyone's attention seemed to be completely on me. "She sounds like she was an incredible person."

"She was. I think she would have gotten along with all of you. Especially Emily and Kelley. Talia loved pranks and just being annoying. She wrapped up a carrot and gave it to me more than once, she would pull little pranks all the time or poke and prod at me constantly."

Later that night, Christen got my attention as I slipped into my bed, "Hey, you doing okay? I know today was hard."

"It was, but I'm feeling okay right now. I think talking about her helped. I've never really let myself because of the emotions it brings up. Turns out it's quite freeing to talk about her."

"The team would agree, it was nice to hear about her. I can see how much you love her."

"It's uh not weird for you is it?"

"No. Y/n, she was your wife, you love her, you always will. I know that. If we were to eventually get to a point past friendship, I would never expect anything else. You can talk to me about her whenever you want and I don't want you to feel bad about it."

"Thank you Chris. I don't want you to think I'm leading you on or anything. I have every intention of asking you on a date, I just need a bit of time."

"Hey, I don't think that at all. Like I said, there is no rush, there's no expectations."

---

It had been about six months since mine and Christen's initial conversation. I was finally feeling like I was ready to try dating again, all I had to do was ask. It had taken longer than I thought it would and a part of me was thinking that Christen would have lost interest by now or just didn't want to deal with my past. A part of me was tempted to not ask, to save myself from rejection, but I also knew there was no way to know unless I asked. 

"So."

"So?"

I took a deep breath, trying to clear some of the nerves that had been building. I had never asked one out let alone dated anyone else besides Talia. Christen sent me a small smile, the nerves melting away when I saw the adoration in her eyes. "Will you go on a date with me Chris?"

"You're ready for that?"

"I think so, I've been thinking about it a lot recently. It's just this is something I haven't done with anyone besides Talia so I might not be perfect or even close to it, but I'll try."

"I would love to Y/n. Just tell me if we go on this date and you realise you're not ready. I'll understand. You also don't have to be perfect, we'll figure this out as we go okay?"

"Thank you Chris. I'll pick you up at 6?"

"We're sharing a room."

"I'm going to get ready in Ali and Alex's room, that way I can pick you up."

"And they say chivalry is dead." 

---

Trying to plan a date was so far out of my comfort zone that I didn't even know where to start. Of course I had been on many dates with Talia, but that was different. It had been 10 or so years since my first and only first date. I knew Talia like the back of my hand, I knew what she liked, where she liked to go. Christen on the other hand, I knew her, but to a far lesser extent which was making me overthink. What if she didn't like what I planned? What if I did too much or not enough? 

Before I could continue to spiral, I decided to enlist the help of Tobin. Normally I would go to Ali, but Tobin was Christens bestfriend. 

"You okay Y/n?"

"No. Well yes but also no. Christen and I are going on a date tonight and I'm freaking out. I cannot for the life of me decide what to do. Every time something comes to mind, I convince myself that it's not enough. Chris will be the second person I've ever taken on a date, it needs to be perfect."

Tobin led me to sit on the bed as I had started to pace across the room. "Don't tell her I told you, but Chris doesn't care what you do, she's just happy to go out with you. Tell me your ideas?"

"I know she likes parks or gardens, beaches, picnics, museums, that sort of thing. There's not a beach around otherwise I would take her there and it'll be too late to take her to the museum but I found a nice park the other day. It has a lake and there were heaps of like lights and stuff. Was thinking picking up some takeaway and other bits to have a picnic at the park, but it doesn't seem like enough."

"Y/n, that is perfect. I know this is pretty much completely new to you, but you just need to try relax a little bit. You know Chris, she's your friend, you know what she likes. She's going to love a picnic in the park, maybe a walk around after."

"Thank you Tobs."

"Hey Y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"Chris is going into this knowing there's a chance you realise you're not ready and she'll understand that, everyone will. There'll be no hard feelings or anything. Just if that happens, please tell her sooner rather than later. I know you won't do it on purpose, but I don't want her to get her hopes up."

"I will. This wasn't a decision I made lightly, I feel ready and I'm really hoping I am. I admit, it does feel a bit weird, but I really like her Tobin. The last thing I want to do is hurt her."

Tobin smiled slightly, pulling me into a quick hug, "I know and so does Chris. Just take it one step at a time, you don't need to rush anything or do anything that doesn't feel right."

After one last hug I made my way to the door, "Thanks Tobs, I should go get ready before I make myself late."

Before heading back to my room, I ran down to the shop to get a few things. Picking out what to buy took longer than it should have. Everything I thought about buying, I ended up second guessing if Christen actually liked it. Time was running out though so I ended up picking out some wine I thought she liked and some other picnic type things.

Despite almost making myself late, I knocked on the door at exactly 6 pm, trying my best to push down the nerves. Tobin was right, Christen was my friend, I knew she didn't expect or even really like some fancy date. There was no real reason to be this nervous. Part of it was probably because of how new it was, part of me was second guessing if I was truly ready for this, but I think that was due to nerves and not wanting to hurt Christen. Another part was because it was Christen. Gorgeous, kind, thoughtful Christen. Anyone in their right mind would be nervous to be going on a date with her. 

"Hi Y/n/n."

"Hi."

Christen smiled, kissing my cheek softly, "You okay?" 

"A bit nervous, but I'm okay. You ready to go?"

We made our way out of the hotel, stopping to pick up takeaway before starting the ten minute walk to the park. Christen didn't ask about what we were doing, instead making random conversation. Knowing I was nervous, I had a feeling she was doing it on purpose to try calm me down. It was definitely working, my nerves were fading away the longer we talked and I wasn't thinking so much about if it was enough. Instead, I was letting myself be excited about it. 

When we got to the park, Christens eyes lit up as she looked around. I found a nice spot by the lake, spreading everything out on the blanket as Christen got comfortable. "How'd you find this place? It's beautiful."

"I stumbled upon it when I went for a walk the other night."

"You went for a walk, alone at night?"

"Maybe not my best idea, but I needed to clear my head away from our room, away from the hotel."

Concern covered Christens face as she straightened slightly, "Away from our room? Was I doing something wrong?"

"No, no you didn't do anything. I was trying to figure out if I asked you out or not. I guess I was worried that I had left it too long and maybe you weren't interested anymore. I also felt a bit guilty, making you wait so long. It seems unfair to you. Got in my head about it I guess. If you can't tell, I'm a bit of an overthinker sometimes."

"Well I'm glad you did. This wasn't unfair to me, I promise. You were honest about everything Y/n, you didn't give me false hope or lie to me. That was all I could ask of you. Are you feeling okay about this?"

"I am. Honestly, it feels a little bit weird which maybe you don't want to hear, but I'm really having a good time."

Christen smiled, taking my hand gently, "Look, I don't get how it feels, but I will never dismiss anything you're feeling. You can always talk to me about it. It's okay for it to feel weird because it probably is for you, I don't take offence to that."

"Thank you. Now lets eat before it gets cold."

We spent the next couple of hours talking about anything we could think of. There had never been anyone but Talia that I could talk to so comfortably without running out of things to talk about. That was until Christen came along. Long before there were any feelings, there had always been something about her that made me feel comfortable talking to her about things. Now I craved the conversations I could have with her. I wanted to get to know her more, from the mundane to the personal. 

Conversation continued as we walked around the park hand in hand then back to the hotel when it started to get late. The nerves had long faded by now, instead being replaced by giddiness and maybe butterflies. Going on a date with Christen felt right. Despite the lingering guilt, I knew Talia would approve. I knew that out of anyone to move on with she would have chosen Christen for me. That in itself brought a sense of peace. 

---

Christen slipped under the blankets on her bed, pulling me down with her. I laughed as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, mumbling something about wanting cuddles. Pulling her closer, I left a soft kiss against her forehead before speaking. "You want me to sleep in your bed tonight?" 

Christen just nodded. We had just got back from our fifth date in two weeks. They could have been spaced out since we lived in the same city, but I felt like a smitten teenager again. Instead of the nerves that plagued me for our first date, I was excited about the dates. Maybe to some it was too many too quick, but I didn't care and Christen didn't seem to either.

Despite the amount of dates we had been on, we were planning on taking things slow. It was my idea to take it slow as this was something I hadn't done in a long time. We had kissed for the first time at the end of the last one, but even though we were rooming together, we hadn't slept in the same bed yet.

"That can be arranged, but I need to get changed and brush my teeth." She groaned dramatically, but let me go with a pout. After completing my nightly routine, I took my necklace off, putting it next to the bed. It felt unfair to Christen to be sleeping in the same bed as her while still wearing my wife's ring.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking it off."

"Because you want to or because you feel you have to?" I just shrugged, Christen stood up, grabbing the necklace and putting it back around my neck before her arms wrapped around my waist from behind. "I will never make you take this off. I never want you to feel like you have to for me okay? You will always love her and that's okay. It doesn't mean you can't have that love for someone else as well."

I nodded leaning back into her. One of my biggest fears with dating someone new was that they wouldn't understand or get mad at the fact that I will always be in love with someone else. That person just happened to not be here anymore. It was scary that I already felt myself falling for Christen, she was just such a beautiful person, inside and out. I don't think I could stop myself from falling even if I wanted to.

---

Christen and I were lying on my bed as the movie credits started to play. We were supposed to go out, but I wasn't feeling up to it. Talia's birthday was in a few days and I had been thinking about her a lot. No matter how much time passed, I still missed her just as much. I was feeling somewhat guilty about the new realisation that I was in love with Christen, like I was being unfaithful to Talia. I felt guilty a lot when Christen and I first started dating. It had mostly faded over the 6 months we had been together, though it always got worse near dates to do with Talia. I just had to keep reminding myself that there was nothing to feel guilty about and that she would be happy for me.

"I hope she's proud of me," I stated quietly, mostly to myself.

Christen turned her head slightly, "Maybe I didn't know her very well, but I know she is. You've come so far in your life and career. You are an amazing person, anyone would be proud of you."

"Sometimes I wish I could have one last conversation with her. See what she thinks of my life, where I am, who I'm with. I still talk to her sometimes, almost expecting a response, but of course it'll never come."

Her fingers laced with mine, squeezing slightly, "I'm sure she's listening and she's happy that you're living the life you want. That's what the people who love us should want for us."

I rolled over so I could look at her properly, brushing a piece of hair out of her face, "Have I ever thanked you? For letting me talk about her, for understanding that me loving her doesn't take away from what I feel for you, for always being there for me on days like our anniversary, or her birthday or the anniversary of her death. It's something I am forever grateful for Chris."

"I will always do all of those things, you don't ever need to thank me. I love you Y/n, I'll always be there for you no matter what."

"Y-you love me?"

"I do. You don't have to say it back, I just wanted you to know."

I kissed her softly, trying to show everything I was feeling, "I love you Chris."

[neonluardon]

An Uncanny Dream

Now, I have dreams, some of which tend to involve a character or two. I am a Genshin Impact fan, and I especially like Kaeya. But the dream I had about Kaeya was so uncanny and equally majestic that I never wanted to forget about it. So, I prepared some visuals. I will be using the notes I took the moment I woke up. These notes help me a lot, as I have already forgotten almost all of the details.

Plot: I was the player but instead of controlling the Traveler, I was controlling Kaeya, the story itself was from his perspective. Because of a reason, I cannot remember, Kaeya ended up stuck between the line of truth and delusion.

Kaeya was aware of his existence, his world was pitch black and white. Everything he used to find beautiful now looked horrible, all voices were gone but a music that kept repeating over and over. As Kaeya, I was supposed to run around and ask for help. But no matter where we went, we couldn't interact with a person.

I remembered I had some resin (even in a dream I'm worried about not using resin lol) and decided to fight in a domain. Somehow, although we couldn't interact with humans and animals, Kaeya could harm Hilichurls and other Abyss-related creatures.

Upon defeating the enemies, Kaeya got an artifact. But this artifact didn't have relic bonuses.

The artifact's name was changed to "Memories From Afar". When I tried looking at the description of the artifact, instead of writing a story or giving an explanation, it simply said:

"You cannot go back now. Memories are out of your reach."

It said "Fatal error." too in very rare cases, because I was panicking so much that I kept reloading the screen and expected something else to come. After obtaining this artifact, I never managed to earn another one no matter how much resin I used.

I decided to use this artifact on Kaeya, but when I opened the character screen, all of my characters were gone and only Kaeya existed. And, well, he didn't look very well.

All of his talents were set back to one. His name didn't exist, instead, there was something akin to "X" but not exactly the same. He was a shadow, an "absence" on the game's screen. And his profile icon didn't exist as well. During this moment, I noticed that Kaeya couldn't interact with the others because he literally didn't exist anymore. He was conscious, he tried everything, but all that was left of him was his absence. And for some reason, no one in Mondstadt seemed to notice his sudden disappearance either.

Did the Irminsul Tree get corrupted and erase his information or was he not cared for at all? This was the question Kaeya asked. I was shocked since I didn't expect him to know about the tree and information could get erased from there.

I kept controlling Kaeya but the vision was so vague that the map barely helped, and no, the main menu wasn't opening either. No Paimon, no settings, just Kaeya and his absence.

Then, I remember seeing Dragonspine. Kaeya was here for some reason, lost and confused. But since he didn't exist anymore and all he could talk with was me (the player, not the traveler, he broke the 4th wall) he suggested taking some pictures.

This especially crept into me a lot because, in one of the fics I wrote, Kaeya went so insane that he needed pictures to make sure he did things right. I can somehow feel that by telling me to take pictures, he meant it in a way to "make sure everything is real."

He got mad when he saw the photos and how even they were colorless. He thought that by using an object that "exists" he could get rid of the terrible darkness. The photos also proved that what we were seeing was correct since not even the player could outrun the colorless screen. Yes, he said that. If even I can't change things, there is nothing Kaeya could do, according to him.

This was one of the scariest scenes, to be honest. The map was there but I couldn't understand a thing, everything looked too dark, once the elegant and magical Dragonspine was now sheer nightmare material. We fought multiple monsters. Kaeya was trying to find his way into reality, thinking for some reason that someone could bend his curse, and bring back the colors. It felt cold, too cold. I could physically feel the sheer chillness hitting my face. I remember moving in my bed as the dream continued.

But it came to an end. Kaeya was attacked by a Mitachurl with a cryo shield. We tried outrunning it but the cold killed Kaeya before the monster. I woke up after he died, the "sheer cold" screen was the simplest but most uncanny thing I have ever seen. It doesn't look that terrifying in the gif but imagine seeing this in a dream.

And a silence followed, Kaeya said nothing. I clicked the revive button but it simply said "Fatal error: Character files missing"

But as I stared at the screen, I could also think of a way that could have saved Kaeya. It was Diluc. For some reason, Diluc's flames could cut through Kaeya's corruption and the tides of reality itself. That little cut between truth and delusion could be his escape. But we never found Diluc, and it was already too late when I realized what we could have done. I felt guilty, knowing that he died because of me. And it wasn't a simple death either, he was deleted or his information in the Irminsul Tree got corrupted beyond fixing, erasing him from existence altogether as the only remains of his presence were his consciousness. He died in darkness, in the sheer cold he despised so much.

I woke up. I was mesmerized by this dream and wanted to write it down. But now that I looked at my badly written notes and the scenes I tried recreating, I feel terrible. This dream was one of the greatest things I have ever experienced, it showed just how creative my brain could get but also... how horrifying it can be. I will never forget the sheer cold screen and the artifact of "Memories From Afar".

[justmaghookit]

Disclaimer these thoughts and feelings are my own and im not judging you if you don't feel the same, this is just how it felt to ME personally while playing the new Dragon Age. If you had a good experience you're under no obligation to read this, I just wanted to get my thoughts out. Hell even if you had a bad experience you're not obligated to read my word vomit. I'm also not looking for debate or argument so if you're considering that kindly fuck off.

And in before anyone thinks they're funny, I actually enjoyed all the previous games from the start.

Spoilers for companion quests but that's it

I finished Veilguard and like, I probably would have enjoyed it more if I gave a shit about Solas but the fact is I do not. I also didn't care for the "elven gods are actually ancient evil mages" plot either that came out of left field near the end of Inquisition with all the evidence at the time being Solas going "just trust me bro"

If the whole plotline didn't feel like just an excuse to justify the games treatment of the elves

Like Bellara mentions in a side conversation about elven myths being really weird and creepy when you look into them but then doesn't actually give you examples.

And myths being weird and creepy alone isn't even good evidence because PLENTY of myths and legends from ancient civilisations are weird and creepy! That's just kinda how they are! Hell the bible is weird and creepy if you look close enough!

And the thing is i didn't start off not caring about Solas, I liked him! Hell I romanced him my first DAI playthrough because I was fascinated by him! But the writings insistent at pushing him at me turned me sour on him.

Like I'm one of those bitches who thought trespasser was an entirely unnecessary DLC cause man I already knew he was going to be the villain in the next game, I got that from the ending of the main game!!!

Also the game just feels short. I'd have to replay DA2 to compare that but it's definitely shorter than Origins in Inquisition(in my personal play time) and everything else feels crushed into a shorter time frame while simultaneously failing to make me feel like I'm under these deadly time restraints as we rush towards the end of the world.

Im making all these big choices but none of it feels impactful because I feel like I've spent barely any time with these characters, which SUCKS because I love the characters! The companions are the best thing about this game!! But I don't feel like I actually get close to them! Hell I didn't even feel close to my ROMANCE option because I felt like we rarely talked.

My partner and I talked a lot and like in the previous games during and after a big decision you could ask your companions their opinions, and sometimes it would give you the option to change their minds if they didn't agree with you(if they like you enough)

And sure i could walk into where they are hanging out and they'll say a line but it felt more like they where talking AT me then TO me.

Also the stupid fucking gifts? You get a non-cutscene of them going "oh thanks :)" and seeing it in their room. They don't talk to you about it, they don't even explain WHY they like it or what it means to them!

I wanted Bellara to tell me how the frog worked! I wanted Neve to tell me the story of the Dock Town mystery! I wanted Lucanis to say something about how is grandmother had a tea set like this!!! I don't even remember the other gifts I gave because they had zero impact!

Also man I can count on one hand the amount of times a companion disapproved of something I did and I dont want yes men! I want team mates who will challenge my decisions and get mad at me. Hell even the companion who gets hardened at the beginning doesn't even challenge you, and they have a reason to challenge you!

Don't even get me started on how stupid that hardened mechanic even is compared to previously.

And then half the companion quests end with really stupid one or the other decisions that do not have to be that way. Like im sorry why does Taash have to only honour ONE of their cultures. Why am I making a this or that decision about the griffons when they could be BOTH these things in the future. Why is Bellara asking ME a DWARF what to do with her people's history instead of discussing it with the other Jumpers? Why does Harding have to choose between her compassion and her rage when by all rights both of those emotions are hers to balance?

I dont know about Lucanis because of the hardening stuff but the only ones that kinda made sense was Emmrich and Neve, and Neve only because I'm a shadow dragon and have a stake in the city. For Emmrich he's leaning on a friend for support during an emotional time. It would have more effect if I felt we were closer friends and had more time together though!!!

Like this game could have been really really fucking good and it has a very decided story it wants to tell and on that front it does it well but its not a story I felt invested in. Maybe if I had read the tie in novels and comics I'd have been more invested but a good game series shouldn't rely on you reading all the tie in shit to be able to pull you in to its story!

I wish the game had been given space to breath and really let me feel close to the characters and the world. I wish I'd gotten that year with Varric and Harding, getting to know them and learning about Solas and what's at stake. I wish I'd had more interactions with my home factions characters, hell maybe even a personal quest to tie in to where you're from!

I cant help but feel like parts of it feel unfinished, like way back when we heard about the writer lay-offs at EA and Bioware we where told not to worry because the story was finished. But I cant help but think that only pertained to the main plot points, that all the little details that are usually lovingly rendered are missing. That Rook's personality feels so one note because they didn't have enough time. That the decisions are so bland because the writers didn't get to expand on them.

All in all to me DAV suffers the same dedregation of all other triple a games. And all other bioware products. Corners are cut and developers are put into straight up abusive development practices that harms the game and harms the industry and most importantly harms the creatives behind it. I really can't blame DAV for leaving me feeling empty when it was made in such a fucked environment.

[bosstoaster]

How do you write long stories? Like, 20k+ ? I always have these grand ideas of how I'd like to write a fic that carries grander themes, like a plot against someone that's investigated or a slow burn romance literally anything that feels like it needs to be long to match the content? Like a 5k murder mystery would be over so quickly it'd lose impact? But I can never find the words or inspiration for what should happen in all the "in-between" moments. I can think of things for the beginning and end and a couple of scenes in the middle and it all comes out to about 8-10k. And I can never think of what to put between those scenes. I've got so many disjointed fics I've written over the years that have remained drafts because I don't know how to elevate them from scenes into stories? The pieces don't fit well enough together to turn it into something more epic. It remains a small fic :/ Any advice at all on this? I remember you saying a rough word count of all your fics combined over the past couple years and being flabbergasted by the number. Extraordinary. I'd love to be able to write long fics 🙏 sorry for the ramble!

(Current total AO3 word count is just over 2.75 million words, which doesn't count the 350k-ish in drafts, or fics on account accounts. But anyhow.) I had the same problem for a really long time, actually! Like, genuinely a decade of fic writing through middle and high school. The answer might be different for different people, but one thing really changed the game for me.

Outlines. Outlines are essential for longer stories, by my book.

What I do is I have an idea for a fic, usually a scene or like, an image of a ~vibe.~ From there I ask myself the first question. What do I want from this? Is it a cute romcom situation? Is it a sexy horror story about taming a monster? Is it a surrealist horror story? What do I want someone else to feel when reading this?

When I have that answer, I can answer the next questions: is this an AU or a canon fic? An AU means that your first chapter is probably going to be setting up the differences from canon. Canon means you have to tell your readers when we are in canon and set up how we got to the Situation (or jump into it, if you're feeling spicy.)

With that answer, we have an approximate starting location. It's fic, so we know where your audience is. How do we get from there to what you want to write about? What needs to happen for your fic to occur? For example, in my vampire fic, step one was turning/killing Dave. Okay, so you have your fic in a state where you're ready to run wild with your premise. Here's the actual meat of your questions.

How do I determine what goes in between the start and the scenes I want to write?

Usually one of a few ways

What needs to occur to get to the scenes I want to write? What makes the characters act in a way I want them to, but isn't out of character? Do they need to be hurt? Emotionally compromised? Worn down? How does THAT happen?

What makes logical, in character sense for the characters to do? Given any of the scenes and conflicts you have planned, what would be their next move/concern?

What SLAPS? What scenes add to the feeling I want the audience to have? For example, if this is a rom com, what scenes would make it clear they should get together, or would work well emotionally? If it's a cozy mystery, what clever things does the main character notice that tell you more about the weird cast of suspects? If it's a horror, what makes the situation more tense?

The point of an outline is literally to fill in these gaps. And there's no stress! You can change stuff or ignore it down the line. You're just drawing a basic map for yourself to know the directions you need to go. Just put down ideas, and if they don't work, erase it and try again.

Many vary a lot in length depending on how much detail I already have in my head, how long the fic is, and how complex the story will be. The Vampire sequel outline is six pages long (very long), while most of them are a page or so.

Here's the vampire sequel outline, speaking of. For that, what I had at the start was a) the boys testing what it means to be a vampire and b) Vamp kidnapping Dave. That's all. The rest I made up during the outline.

Without outlines, I would have no idea where I'm going in a fic, so I'd get through what I had then stall out and get writers block and dither and run in circles and eventually give up.

Respect the power of the outline.

[gascon-en-exil]

Awakening has so many "nothing characters" besides Priam, remember Chrom's father? I still find it funny one of the "Rhea bad" arguments said * Like this isn’t the “good guy blue country” we typically see in a FE game. This is Chrom’s father’s Ylisse. Which I find really hilarious to this day given how much that plot poitn was forgotten with the game entirely vindicating the prejudice against Grima worshippers and even when it was brought up, it was to talk about how Ylisse was the true victim of the crusade.

I'll be honest; I barely remember Chrom's father, or anything he did. FE13's story is already impossible to take seriously in between all the fanservice and time travel silliness and how it's all a clumsily stitched-together riff on the first three games on the series in sequence. Asking me to care about the actions of a character who never so much as appears onscreen (or even has a name?) in a game like that is entirely too much.

Of course, that does play into the broader point about FE's character writing. Like I said in response to the Bernadetta ask earlier today, gimmick character writing is inevitable in games like these, which sit awkwardly between party-based RPGs and large-scale tactical games where most/all of your units are generics. Every FE has a handful of one-note playable characters, and NPCs - or characters only ever represented as generics - are naturally going to be deemed less important by players because that's how the developers are treating them. Conservation of detail: if the author doesn't put time and effort into fleshing out a character/nation/whatever, then it logically follows that that element is not intended to be very important. The hierarchy in FE is mostly clear-cut:

Avatars > other playable characters with plot armor and/or plot relevance > non-plot-relevant PCs > named, unique NPCs who appear onscreen > NPCs who lack one or more of those traits

There's a bit of wiggle room in the middle, if you were, for example, to compare an undeveloped filler unit to the main villain. Apart from though it's a good rule to follow when handling what one might expect from a particular character. Rhea is actually a good example of how this works. Both Fódlan games treat her as more of a multipurpose tool to be brought out whenever necessary than as the impactful major character that she allegedly is. This is in large part because she's an NPC, and doesn't need to be developed in the same way (full support list and multiple endings, battle lines/interactions, activity dialogue) as even goofy bit players like Raphael or Alois. There's a whole bunch of telling and not showing when it comes to Rhea, just like with Chrom's father I suppose.

A corollary to all this is that it's the natural role of transformative fandom to expand underdeveloped and overlooked elements of canon, often in ways that the original writers never conceived or intended. However, as I noted in my discourse video, everyone in transformative fandom has their own priorities when it comes to which parts of canon they believe deserve to be expanded upon - and discourse frequently arises when contradictory desires in fandom spaces come into conflict with one another.

[alegocarmadein]

How about 35, 32z and 17 for the writing asks?

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

oh god. so it's set in the fae realm, right? I call it Elphame in this fic. And it's this mismatch conglomorate of ideas I've learned, rpg shit, and random fucking ideas. not based on real fae myth, this is fantasy bullshit. So there's these beasts, right? these monstrosous, weird creatures called the First Beasts because they were what first evolved/were created. And over like….millions of years many of these beasts have been hunted down (mostly by humans). They're generally worshipped by various species of the fae realm. we meet at least two, maybe more. But they're ethereal in a way. kinda terrifying? ever see a bug that's so fucken weird you're like. I don't think you're an enemy. but maybe ur an alien so please leave my house/screen. or had a weird crawdad-like thing run over ur foot when you weren't expecting it? yeah like that, like not unheard of just like ah hi what the fuck are you. generally this fic is meant to be a respite. there's not really weird time shenanigins, or fucked up memory stuff, just a classic slow, we're walkin in the forest looking at shit and talking while we head towards our destination. oh look a giant snail. hey did you know i love you. im going to look at you meaninfully and study your features cause i have no clue if we'll ever get home. that shit. not pining…just…lingering. it's also a uh interim? between next of kin & the third story in the series. that ones. gonna be. rough. so we have to be chill in between then and now. god i will get this goddamned story done. someday.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

Hm. I am really. really. really. bad at remembering lines. but this segment sticks with me.

"Still, Feels said nothing. Not the house still brought you back to me. Not you were unconscious, you didn't hear how that place still breathed - quiet, yeah, but still there. Not the flies were gone when we left, the dust swept away, the window propped open for us .

Instead, wordlessly, he held his hand out.

An invitation. A question.

Do you trust me? it asked.

Kane took it, and in the silence he gripped it tight."

god the "An invitation. A question." I LOVE that shit in writing. the repeat of similar words but with important meanings that when put one after the other elaborates on the feeling of the story, the imporatance of the end, the meaning behind the action. AHG.

this is my favorite kaf fic. and this whole segment of it is just OH so impactful. i love house horror and i love the house loving you (see thirteen letters). i found it because its a kaf fic- shit i just realized you asked me this rowan, this is going to seem like pandering, i didn't even notice you asked it. well. anyway- the way it's written is really alluring in a way that is very satisfying to read. it is just the type of fic i wish everyone made because it's so good and really just. good fic. 100/10. quality shit. like argh. 

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/44602054)

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

uh keep it tight. fuck keeping it tight. sometimes. you need to linger. SOMETIMES. you need to use fucked up punctuation. SOMETIMES you need to repeat words in a row to emphasize shit. SOMETIMES you need to fuck up your structuring and have it not make sense to get there. to the end. sometimes. you need to linger. sometimes you need to say "fuck consistency we're takin this shit OFF THE TRACKS. WE WILL NOT RAILROAD OURSELVES INTO STEREOTYPICALITY. WE WILL MAKE WEIRD STORIES." 

make weird stories yall.

(i never do ask games so this is very fun. im gonna reblog the list so if theres any anyone wants to ask. ya know. ask.)

[gaiaseyes451]

🤡 🛒 🦅 for the writer emoji ask game?

(Also of you do outline your ff I'd love to hear how you do it/have some tips 👀)

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?

I don’t tend to write humorous things, in my opinion. But, I did write a chapter for Coming Home - Choose Your Own Adventure that I thought was funny because the argument was just so absurd (and I managed to slip a discworld reference in there, too!):

“No. No no, go ahead, Aziraphale.” Crowley throws himself back in the chair incredulously, it would have toppled over from the force of it if he did not, absolutely and completely, expect the chair to stay right where he bloody well put it. “Tell me what other words are off limits here.”

“You said you were ok with taking it slow-”

“It’s been 6000 years! If you went any slower you’d rival the Great A’Tuin!”

Aziraphale stands abruptly and stalks away from the table. “Oh, really now, that’s absurd-”

“So what other words are off limits? Is it just adverbs that I need to be wary of or are there nouns, too? Nightingales? Ducks? Heavenly?”

“Heavenly is an adverb…”

“I don’t give a shite about parts of speech!” Crowley levers himself out of his chair and follows Aziraphale across the kitchen, gesticulating wildly.

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

I have a thing for the memory loss trope and playing with how memories define who each character is, but also how what they do (or don’t) remember impacts the people around them. I use descriptions of light a lot to get at color and temperature. I’m a sucker for religious imagery or mimicking phrasing from prayers or Mass. I skew heavily toward melancholy, apparently, even when I think I’m writing fluff, haha.

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

Even in short fics (<15k) I usually know where I’m going or have an anchor scene that I’m writing to and then after. If it’s short, I will write the parts as they come to me and then spend a lot of time moving sentences and paragraphs around until the flow feels right (Ostinato and Return to Eden were written this way). Long fics (like A Little Life and my current WIP collab Bitter Things) I have to actually outline. It helps me to have something that I can move scenes around with because I don’t usually write a story in order. For BT, KJ and I have a Trello board with a card for each scene with a summary/anchor text and we’re moving these around constantly as we write. I never really know if my outline works until I’m writing to connect the plot points. The characters still surprise me and I have to reorder or add or remove a scene. I like having room to let things evolve naturally, but if I need the roadmap to get started.

[viperwhispered]

hiiii ner!! throwing you 💭🧪💡and💌 for the fanfic writer ask meme!! -diodellet

Ty for the asks @diodellet! (also good to see you around again, hope the exams and stuff went well!)

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

Tbf, for my reader inserts a lot of it is wish fulfillment - quite often, they’re more or less thinly veiled self-inserts in disguise. Things I’d like to see, things that I personally enjoy, stuff like that. Write what I want to see in the world, basically.

However, there’s also a big part of wanting to elicit emotional reactions in other people. I kinda alluded to this with my previous answers, but like, for me, the important thing is to tell a clear, impactful story - I’m not that interested in experimenting with language, for example, though of course some that comes with the territory, too.

I was an absolutely voracious reader of books as a kid / teenager (until I got my first laptop, oop), and I’d often just chew through books - which means I have forgotten a lot of what I’ve read. However, I still remember one book where the twist in the end hit me right in the feels, and I specifically took a moment to sit with those feelings in order to remember them.

So I just always love it when I can make my writing impactful enough for it to affect someone. I’ve gotten so many great things and highs and lows out of reading, and I want to give some of that back, if I can.

🧪 Do you research for your fics?

If I need to, certainly. I do typically prefer keeping canon-compliant if I can (unless it’s like an au or something we’re talking about), or true to life in general, so I’ll certainly be checking facts and stuff and trying not to get anything wrong. Plus, just refreshing myself on the tone or speaking patterns of a character feels like research, too.

And of course there’s been those times when I’ve been trying to find out when Japan got flip phones or other things like that. I'm totally that writer who goes down a research rabbit holes for like one or two lines of fic.

💡How many WIPs do you currently have?

Uhh… Depends? WIPs I’ve actually put some words in? Two that I’m actively aware of, probably others buried somewhere in the depths of my files. WIPs that I have ideas for… Well, on my list there’s six more or less vague concepts that might or might not become something.

I’m not really one to bounce between wips, so it’s pretty much one main wip at a time for me, rotating in the brain until it gets cooked (or left waylaid).

I suppose it helps that I kind of had a break from writing before Fixation happened so I don't have much of an idea backlog, so to speak.

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?

Where do I even start… I mean, with the recent fics, pining sure is high on the list. Just, all the fluffy parts of a (pre-)relationship. For more specific tropes (like only one bed or fake dating or whatever), I don’t think I have strong preferences. Whatever works for the particular story, really.

For my smut I’ve been told I tend to play around with power dynamics a lot and yeah I can’t disagree with that.

(ask game here for anyone else curious)

[hextechmaturgy]

Do you have any headcanons for how Grief and Andrey's relationship is like? What do you think Andrey has done for the town's criminals? (i saw your tags on the voice lines reblog)

OH FRIEND...... YOU HONOR ME WITH THIS ASK YOU DO..... i got so excited to answer. i'm actually writing an angrief fic atm spanning from when they meet to when the game ends, but because i'm a very very very slow writer it's not coming out anytime soon. if you're interested tho wink i'd be happy to send u a very short sneak peak in dms wink

regarding headcanons tho, i'll try to be concise but honestly i have many unorganized thoughts and feelings about those two. should also be said that i have a timeline in my head for pre-game events that probably doesn't match canon at all, but it makes sense TO ME and time in pathologic is more of a suggestion anyway sooo hihi let's go

andrey is a bit older than grief; they meet at age 19/20. artemy is leaving and grief's losing his friends, his family. he's turning to gangs for company, which only further alienates him from lara and stakh. andrey is making friends for once, a rare thing after years on the run. his head's full of ideas, ideas that someone actually wants to hear, it's exhilarating. they meet at a plot of land where a staircase will stand one day, both immediately clocking Each Other™️, but the knowing looks go beyond a tick in their gaydar. andrey is a free man and grief wants to be free, desperately so, but he's also afraid. what will it cost him? grief fears the unknown, the steppe curses that keep him up at night, the scorn of his friends and the abandonment, the unknown. it's hard to be authentic, isn't it? andrey sees this struggle, understands the want to fight, the want for freedom. andrey tells him it's okay to want

that first meeting emboldens grief, sustains him when his family breaks for good. they don't see each other for months, and a lot changes for the two of them, but they still remember and all too well. andrey asked to see him again, grief is reluctant. just meeting the man was already impactful enough, he's relived it so often, lost in dreams. but he feels bold, andrey makes him bold. he finds andrey bleeding at his own bar. he needs stitches somewhere he can't reach, won't you help me out, sweet filin? he does. his hand trembles, his stitches are terrible. odd thing, piercing skin, sinking into another man's flesh. hope this doesn't awake anything in him!!!

(spoiler: it absolutely does)

it's probably not a huge surprise at this point if i state i write grief with internalized homophobia in mind, and a considerable amount of religious trauma too. the man he wants to be brings him to shame, and that reflex goes beyond sexuality yes but it's also about that. andrey is uncharacteristically patient. he'll push and prod, poke at the hidden layers behind those freckles he's memorized for some reason, but never goes beyond grief's limits. freedom shouldn't be scary. grief will evolve, he will grow, and andrey will look at him with pride in his eyes and something that is definitely not love (andrey only knows violence. what does he do with love?)

grief is becoming a proper criminal now, respected even if he won't cut, perhaps respected because he gets the job done without cutting. he becomes a seller of all things illegal, and andrey is always in the market for something dangerous. he wants a weapon that will allow him to get up close and personal, and he gets something personal alright. grief gives him a knuckle-duster, a gift. places it around his fingers to see how it fits, awfully gentle. it's not a ring, it's not a promise, they're not that ridiculous

(spoiler: they absolutely are)

the first outbreak is scary. peter suffers immensely from it and when peter suffers, andrey agonizes, but peter is fine...... grief wonders if the pest is divine punishment, if he's to blame for it somehow, but surely not....... they're both restless and healthy, alive, and they're sort of neighbors (oh my god they were neighbors). it's easier to call their INVOLVEMENT stress relief. neither is prepared for the truth really

friends who bang! andrey's got plenty of those and this one isn't any different, okay? barkeeps hear all sorts of juicy gossip, and if he happens to perk up at news on grief and his gang, it's only because andrey is a dangerous man too, and he's wise to look out for the goings on of the underworld. i'm actually still unsure what the line 'wasn't long ago he was on his knees, begging before me' is all about, but i'm convinced it's not horny, at least not 100%. they spend a lot of time on their knees before one another, almost anything andrey says sounds like a threat or a preposition. andrey is held responsible for the death of at least one man (rip farkhad) so he's probably feared in the town. his lifestyle alone shocks plenty of people. grief holds his men back with a "no stabbing, no shooting, no killing" leash, but we know they're able, we know some are willing. perhaps grief needed andrey to intimidate a gang member he was having trouble with, truly desperate, out of other solutions. i'm begging you for help, on my knees if i have to. those men are terrified of you, and frankly so am i (but not in the same way, oh never, somehow i know you would never kill me). it would explain why andrey brings it up to artemy during the second outbreak. grief's men will start misbehaving soon - i wonder if he will come crawling to beg again

i think they're amicable for the most part, their personalities bounce of one another. they're insistent on the just friends thing mostly out of habit. i know you will come if i need you, and we have plenty of fun together already. that's enough, no? what else could a bastard need

second outbreak is a mess and we all know just how much. apple basket reunion is awkward because hey grief why did the guy at the bar tell me about you being on your- how about we don't talk for a while? oh also, this is a small thing, but shout out to the day you find grief and peter at aspity's house. i laughed so much imagining that conversation, or the very OBVIOUS lack of one. peter isn't even really there, dozing off lost in his thoughts, and grief is nearby sweating bullets. be cool grief, be cool - wait why are you even trying to impress peter?

when the polyhedron dies - because she is alive, and she is dying - andrey is lost to senseless violence. he doesn't believe artemy's confession because that would mean killing grief's childhood friend. it's easier to be angry at thirty faceless men. we also know that grief is... NOT WELL, after the whole thing with aglaya. grief is sitting at a staircase (THE staircase that once wasn't here) and he stays there until it's dark, until it's light again. andrey finds him, drunk out of his goddamn mind, probably guided there by all the twyrine in his system. it's unsettling to not see her when he reaches the top, it's unsettling to not see grief as well. what can two broken men do but weep? they whisper to each other. come with me, let's kill them all. it's not worth it, nothing is anymore. i'll go without you. you'll die. do you care?

there's stuff i missed, stuff that probably doesn't make sense, i'm writing this at 6 am in a frenzy of angrief feelings because i love them. i love this ask, i had to reply or i wouldn't sleep. what happens after the game is a wonder to me as well. i've said before somewhere that p1 grief is who p2 grief could become after the diurnal ending. andrey is also going to struggle with his place in the world, mourning the loss of a perfect tower that can never be reproduced, of brilliance and hard work, probably mourning the loss of his brother too, not to the pest but to love. peter has grace now and i think that will be jarring, not being the only family peter has. the twins have only ever had each other, is andrey falling behind? how will he catch up? can he? twins are perfect opposites, he says: it's only natural that when peter starts to improve, andrey begins to degenerate

but i like to be hopeful, because i like these characters a lot (i know u would never be able to tell xoxo). two negatives make a positive, so maybe andrey and grief can be miserable together, and maybe then they'll realize that love is fit for bastards too

[pekasairroc]

Tagged by @sinfulauthor

1. Were you named after anyone?

My mom used to have a friend named Holly who remarked how she always loved her name. I have been repeatedly assured I was not named after Big Hol.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Christmas Day when Ed’s parrot Azul died :(

3. Do you have kids?

Nah

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

As a kiddy kid I did a lot of sports for a season or two (soccer, basketball) or several summers (softball) but I fenced foil for a few years and later on did some cross country. I would like to get back into fencing but would need to find a casual club that’s a good fit and change from a French grip to a Pistol grip due to hand hurty

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Often, but I prefer deadpan understatements.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Currently it’s whether they have a flu shot badge at work and then if they’re masking (mandatory if they don’t have the shot, highly encouraged regardless). I have had to do so many audits and trying not to STARE at people’s badges and lower faces due to exposures at work.

7. What's your eye color?

Blueish gray green. Aka blue.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

9. Any talents?

I can make myself and others stop hiccuping on command.

10. Where were you born?

Chicago suburbs

11. What are your hobbies?

Lots of art, writing, sewing, and crafting is what I usually tell people without getting into the details.

12. Do you have any pets?

No, but once I figure out the petsitting situation I would love to get two rats. I am not actively figuring out the petsitting situation.

Look, it’s one thing to ask a big group if someone could watch a cat for a weekend and it’s easy af to find a dog sitter but it’s hard to ask people to feed and clean up for two rats. It just is.

13. How tall are you?

5’8”

14. Favorite subject in school?

Latin. Languages in general.

15. Dream job?

I sit as the creative head of a production company. Is it animation? Is it comics? Video games? Doesn’t matter. I explain to the group in the room ideas for stories and they wait with bated breath to the finish. They applaud. Standing ovation is implied. They set to work on making my visions and stories and characters a reality with far more technical artistic skill than I personally have but 100% under my 100% perfect creative direction. The story is an international hit. Millions adore these stories and characters and are impacted in their life in a positive way, always remembering these little tales and being so normal about them. I live a quiet life in a cute little house drawing silly doodles when I’m not drafting the next story— and let’s be real, I don’t need to draft since it’s perfect and easy from the start— and give Q&As where no one asks dumb questions and everyone perfectly understands and respects my vision and desire to not tell certain details but listens spellbound for every tangent I go on about the history of one line or a part I thought was funny. Everyone leaves me alone but radiates in my storytelling prowess and is inspired in turn. Me and my characters are forever remembered in the realms of history.

That's not what you meant by “dream job?” Well, I actually like my infection control job and the parts I dislike are the parts that suck for all regulatory jobs. Love 2 tell people to wash their hands.

[purplejabberwock]

For the ask game: 17,31 and 57 please!!

Game questions from here.

17. what is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

I've actually had a number, enough that I often only remember how much I love them when I'm rereading the story. Right now, though, it's probably 'What we were isn't all we can be'. The relevant fic is not yet posted.

31. tell us about one of your characters who’s an absolute joy to write

Gilgamesh, from FATE/ Grand Order. He's such a chaotic bastard, but he has good points and he knows it. I usually trend toward writing 'lawful good' characters but Gilgamesh has this wild arrogance combined with intelligence and fieldless fucks that makes him one of my favourite FATE/ characters to write.

Especially in days where moral purity in art is becoming Such A Thing again, there's something incredibly uninhibited about writing a character like Gilgamesh, who quite literally Does What He Wants, often good or helpful things, just because he can, without a care for what people will think. Especially when the way he goes about it is not particularly 'nice' (but necessary).

It's something I think a lot of 'bastard with a heart of gold' characters want to be but don't quite strike. Then again, I haven't seen any FATE/ outside of FGO, so he's probably different elsewhere given the impact Masters and summoning can have.

Also, he's hot.

57. what is the last thing that a fic made you google when you were reading it?

I think this must have been when I was reading @beafocal's 'Only lovers know', for lampverse, before she posted it. Merlin and Romani were in New Zealand and something about the way she described the shower/tub/water knobs made me go 'wait what, is that seriously what those are like over there?!'

It was a small thing but it was funny because sometimes you never think of the small things until they trip you up like that. (The description, at the time, was not accurate for the styles in Aus/NZ.)

[allthegoodusernamesaretakenagain]

Hi Holly, my favourite favourite author! 👋

I came to poke you with some interaction stick. You can ignore me ^__-

BUT, if you are ok with answering a few Get To Know The Author questions:

What is the first Zelda game you've ever played?

Hopes about TOTK?

Do you have a book that you think impacted you the most? Or one that you think back to most often (can be a fanfic)?

Favourite fanfic of course ^^?

Oh my god this is so sweet, little old ME??? Of course I will answer best I can <3

1. The first ever Zelda game I played was the DS games, Phantom Hourglass and Spirit Tracks. My Nan was a very big fan and I have fond memories of sitting in her kitchen and playing the games and she loved helping me with all the boss fights. I know they aren’t the best games in the series, however, they hold a lot of nostalgia for me. I never did complete them though, I just watched my Nan do it instead.

2. Oo that’s a good one. One of my main hopes for TOTK is to see a really well developed story. I know that’s super basic but one of the things I loved so much about BOTW was the memories and characters, so I really hope there’s some sort of memory adjacent gameplay that develops the characters more. Also, I kind of got tired of shrines in BOTW so I’m hoping for something new to explore in this game. But my main hope isn’t anything too specific other than a good game. What I want might not be what fits, so I just hope the years of waiting are worth it!

3. A book that genuinely impacted and stayed with me was Little Women. The narrative of following four strong, unique, and amazing woman through a little domestic life really made me reflect on myself. I’m a child of five (much like Quentin) and it made me think about what relationships like that mean. It made me want to write about domestic relationships and environments as much as others. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak is another, which is a story narrated by death. It has a one line at the end: “I am haunted by humans.” and I think there is so much beauty and wonder in that. The idea of ‘humans’ can mean so much, and it always sticks with me when I write. And I can’t not talk about my favourite, albeit very sad, book. A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness. It’s a shorter novel but it’s so beautiful. It tells the meaning of letting go even when you don’t want to, and acknowledging how you feel. My favourite quote ever from that book is: “I wish I had a hundred years. A hundred years I could give to you.” And that book has just stuck with me.

4. Omg favourite fan fiction is so hard. I go through so many hyper-fixations. One that I always come back to is this fan fiction called Sorcerers Bane by BeautifulFiction for the Merlin Fandom. I remember reading it like crazy and nothing has topped that mad rush to finish it since. I can’t believe that fandom is still alive today tbh.

Thank you for the great questions, the ask made me all happy it’s so cool to have people interested, I get all flustered. Never feel like you’re bothering me haha I will always answer :)

I hope those answered your questions!!

[mybookplacenet]

Author Interview: Haley Cavanagh

Tell us about yourself.: I am an award-winning YA sci-fi/fantasy and self-help book author, a military veteran, a wife of 20+ years, and a mom to two teens. Where did you grow up, and how did this influence your writing?: I was a scrappy apartment kid who joined the military right after high school. I was fortunate enough to have some amazing teachers and adults influence my life along the way. My writing reflects this from the characters to their surroundings. I love to write about a normal person who goes through extraordinary circumstances. Do you have any unusual writing habits? I can't write without my dog. My dog loves to cuddle my ankles while I write. I don't know who started it, but to this day, I can't really focus on anything unless I have my furry cuddle buddy. What authors have influenced you? I was a scrappy apartment kid who joined the military right after high school. I was fortunate enough to have some amazing teachers and adults influence my life along the way. My writing reflects this from the characters to their surroundings. I love to write about a normal person who goes through extraordinary circumstances. Do you have any advice for new authors? Don't ever give up. Believe in yourself and in your potential, and no matter what, keep writing. What is the best advice you have ever been given? "From here on out, it's sink or swim. Decide what YOU'RE going to do." What are you reading now? Ikigai What's your biggest weakness? Charcuterie! And chocolate. All the chocolate. What is your favorite book of all time? The Stand by Stephen King The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins Intensity by Dean Koontz When you're not writing, how do you like to spend your time? Spending time with my family and doing fun things together. Do you remember the first story you ever read, and the impact it had on you? I remember reading Little Women by Louisa May Alcott when I was six or seven. It was my first full-blown book, and it catapulted me into a love of literature. I wanted to be Jo, she was so cool! What has inspired you and your writing style? My military experience and growing up the way I did. What are you working on now? I am writing a second book in the Evol-Human Chronicles world - a 2nd book after Shadowed Skies. It takes place both on land and in an underwater village. I'm having fun with it. What is your favorite method for promoting your work? Instagram and blog tours are the easiest. When it comes to marketing I much prefer to just write my head off, but I like being able to interact with readers, so if it's not an in-person book signing or a workshop, I love seeing everyone's comments and hearing what they have to say. What's next for you as a writer? I plan to continue writing YA books for the foreseeable future. How well do you work under pressure? One of my strengths is I deal very well with stress. I try to help others in stressful situations. I'm grateful for my military experience for that. How do you decide what tone to use with a particular piece of writing? I ask myself if the emotional actions are honest and gauge the age, self-awareness, and environment of the characters. If the action or tone is appropriate for their situation, then that's what I go with. If not, there's always the old editing cutting board! If you could share one thing with your fans, what would that be? Nothing you ever do with your imagination is wasted. Adulting: The Ultimate Cheat Sheet began as a few lines scrawled onto a Post-It Note. So if you've got a dream, no matter how ridiculous or weird or small it might seem, believe in yourself and pursue it with all your heart. Haley Cavanagh's Author Websites and Profiles Website Amazon Profile Goodreads Profile Smashwords Profile BookBub Profile Haley Cavanagh's Social Media Links Facebook Page Twitter Instagram LinkedIn Pinterest YouTube Account Read the full article

[yuusaris]

Fanfiction ask: 51 and 61- your choice for the fic on 61! :)

51) Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

Yes and no - I'm becoming more open to them to things currently, and I find I'm more open to writing spooky things than I used to be. My tastes are in the middle of a change, xD.

That being said, I find I like to write ambiguous relationships more than I like reading them. Must be the romantic in me.

61) In [insert fic], what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

Ooh, you're nasty making me pick, xDDD.

Ah... ffuck, lemmie check my AO3, I've got lots, lmao.

I think I'm gunna go with one from A Different Form, A Different Time - because I wrote one out that I feel had everything I wanted to convey in it.

So, it's in Chapter 2, TKB and Atem are supposed to be fighting, but Atem just keeps trying to reach across the aisle - Atem is 16 here, Thief King's at least in his early 20's - about what happened, apologizing, taking on the blame and responsibility himself, something he always does even when it's not his job and not his place. He's already doing the thing that he'll do to TKB's soul when he dies.

And TKB is trying to shut him up about it, points out that Atem's a child to get across that Atem is so unrelated that apologizing means nothing, and then just ends up reminding himself that he's trying to murder a child and he gets fucked up for a second.

I wanted to depict a Thief King that wasn't the swaggery gung-ho we see in Millennium World, because Millennium World is a game, not a truth, being controlled by a ghost puppeteering the shell of his old body, brainwashed by isolation, cultivated by a dark God. I wanted the fight to be bad and awkward because neither is actually prepared for this confrontation because you never truly are prepared to see your enemy as a person, let alone one who could care about you.

So Thief King has to back up, breathe, reassemble himself, the situation he's in and what he's trying to do because that realization, murdering children who took no part in what was being demanded, hits. Just slightly. The knowledge that he's killing someone who had no idea, who didn't ask, and the only person who has proven to give a damn about his people other than himself.

Throughout this chapter, Atem's name is being continuously mucked with and blacked out with some letters being visible. The scene is a memory, one told from Yami slowly getting flashes back and losing pieces again, remembering how the shadows and the Puzzle impacted his sense of self. Connection to TKB has been the anchor for that name, that identity, that person, and as that falters, as the divide widens, his name becomes more and more lost.

And then, when we get -

“I’m here to kill The Pharaoh.”

- His name is blacked out fully now and any other time it comes up. The decision made, Thief King has resolve and he's back on his shit. It's not about Atem as a person, it's about Atem as a symbol, as a Pharaoh. He's here to kill The Pharaoh, and he will kill The Pharaoh no matter who The Pharaoh is.

And then still makes the point to comfort them both. To tell Atem that it's not him who sinned, to tell himself that this is wrong but needed, trying to absolve Atem of any personal duty and himself of any personal guilt. As Pharaoh he must pay - as Atem, he's a naive child. As King of Thieves, he has a duty. As whoever he was - we never got his name - he didn't want to do what others did to him.

But he will try. He will fail. That cycle will last for millennia.

Shout out also to the line A harsh voice that, when he focused, said his name like a knife against a whetstone, the vaguest I've ever been about someone masturbating about someone else.