#ask box meme // we must be killers . children of the wild ones .

[raisedferal-blog]

WOULD    IT    BE    AT    ALL    POSSIBLE              for    ppl    to    ask    me    some    meta    or    headcanon    questions  !!      even    if    u    know    nothing    about    libby    or    DARK    PLACES    like    generic      ‘      hc   +      ‘      type     things     or    questions    idk .

[outoftheframework]

Batkids nominating Bruce for Queer Eye is dead-ass the funniest thing I’ve read all day. It would be great, imagine Alfred in the little video cards just sassing Bruce for being useless at everything

sigh...

if I must...

The Batkids nominating Bruce for Queer Eye: A SAGA

based off of this post

-As most things do around here, it started as a joke

-Duke, off hand in the batcave after Bruce takes off his mask to reveal super sweaty and matted hair: “jonathan van ness is quaking.”

-The second the words slipping his lips it was a running joke

-Tim, pulling out Bruce’s original suit with blue underwear over the pants: “What would Tan France say if he saw this, huh? Do you want to give the man a heart attack?”

-Bruce: *deliriously making himself kraft mac and cheese at 3am* Dick, through the intercom: “Are you even gonna add avocado to that or do I have to call Antoni?”

-Babs sends a poster from queer eye in the group chat, stating that they need applicants from Gotham for the upcoming season

-The group chat name is promptly changed to “karamo brown is batman and i have proof” and then once more to “make gotham gay again”

-Tim takes leadership over creating his nomination video, which everyone thought was probably a bad idea

-But he ends up creating a really sappy story about a man who has given himself to bettering the lives and his children and their friends and has forgotten about taking care of himself in the process

-However the kids do start telling increasingly wild stories about him to one-up each other and to try to really secure Bruce a spot on the show

-”One time I asked Bruce to pick me up moisturizer at the store and he just brought back a bottle of water. I don’t even think he knows what skin care is.”

-”Bruce has never cooked anything in his life besides boxed mac and cheese and toast. He can’t even make cereal. I’ve seen him try.”

-After their application is sent in, life catches up and they get distracted by work, school, and nightly activities. But after some time, Tim gets an email while on patrol.

-Everyone thinks he got injured because he screamed so loud

-The day comes where the guys were set to arrive to surprise Bruce (the kids doctored a fake introduction video for him so he would have zero idea)

-The kids all sit at the breakfast table, waiting for Bruce to come downstairs while the Queer Eye guys plus a camera crew hide behind the door

-Suddenly a crash is heard from upstairs, followed by angry footsteps, and a tired, sloppy dressed Bruce entering the kitchen

-*deep breath* ”tiMOTHY HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO LEAVE YOUR SKATEBOARD-”

-The door bursts open and Bruce stands there flabbergasted my the unfamiliar men and camera crew in his kitchen at 8 am on a Monday 

-He lowers his head into his hands to hide the bags underneath his eyes. “Please god.. let this be a bad dream... I can’t do this again...”

-Jonathan comes running up and hugs him, stroking his stubbly beard. 

-Tan politely roasts his baggy sweatpants and ripped t-shirt as Antoni and Bobby explore the immaculate kitchen and Karamo introduces himself to all the kids

-Bruce’s episode is titled “Money Does Not Make the Man”

-Tan is overwhelmed by the amount of tailored black suits Bruce owns

-He puts him into more casual yet age-appropriate street wear

-Bruce purposely buys one shirt because he knows that Dick owns it and wears it often

-Jonathan almost faints when he looks in Bruce’s bathroom and only sees shaving cream on his vanity

-Bruce ends up with a clean-shaven face and a nine-step beauty routine, including two (2) face masks

-Jonathan is constantly play-flirting with Bruce and the kids absolutely crumble when he flirts back

-Bobby makes over the common area of the Gotham City Orphanage instead of redoing any of the manor

-He does a little extra work through funding from WE

-Karamo has a heart-to-heart with Bruce 

-At first Bruce is very closed off and annoyed that his kids forced him into this

-But as the week goes on, Bruce opens up more about how proud he is of his kids even though they can be overwhelming a lot of the time

-Antoni teaches Bruce how to make a healthy and easy family meal for Sunday dinner

-Alfred sheds a tear

-Bruce’s reveal is just a small house party with family and friends where he got dressed up in his new clothes and cooked for everyone

-The guys melt when watching the video and seeing him talk on and on about how happy he was to get his whole family together despite initially being reluctant

-He makes a killer guacamole

-Dick shows up to see that he and Bruce are wearing the same shirt

-Bruce gives a speech about being thankful for his life, family, and friends despite the the ups and downs

-He ends it by announcing that all the kids are still grounded for tricking him

 -The Queer Eye group comes over for Sunday dinner sometimes and is also available by phone any time Bruce needs some sense knocked into him

-All in all, it started out as a meme and ended up as a very positive experience for the whole family. Though it is still a huge meme on the internet, though.

____________

I could create a whole post as just quotes from the episode but IDK if anyone wants that lol

Thanks for reading!

Check out my imagines blog!!

Thanks for the inspiration, @thelampofthemoment

[trustsfew-blog1]

TAGS    002  .

attire          //          cloth   bound   figure .     you   are   how   you   look .

aesthetic          //          there’s   something   soft   in   me   /   we   killed   it   and   it’s   rotting .

musings          //          when   she   was   alone   by   herself   she   clenched   her   fists   together .

sin          //          what   i   want   is   to   swallow   my   own   form   of   mercy .

ask   box   meme          //          we   must   be   killers .     children   of   the   wild   ones .

starter   call          //          i   am   fragile   and   unholy .

closed   starter          //          i   am   half   agony .     half   hope .

plotting   call          //          i   need   my   pain   now .     i’d   be   nothing   anymore   without   it .

wishlist          //          let   me   redefine   god   into   something   i   can   become .

shipping   call          //          i   don’t   want   want   your   love   unless   you   know   i   am   repulsive .

open   starter          //          a   dare .     a   rage .     an   intolerable   tenderness .

unknown   verse          //          all   the   fractured   pieces .

[totembearer-blog1]

send me a: "✎" and i'll handwrite your url

send me a: "✉" and i'll handwrite a little message for you

send me a: "✈" and i'll handwrite the one place I most want to go

send me a: "★" and i'll handwrite my favorite color

send me a: "♥" and i'll draw you a picture

send me a: "☀" and i'll handwrite my favorite season

send me a: "✦" and i'll handwrite my favorite animal

send me a: "☮" and i'll handwrite my tumblr crushes

send me a: "♪" and i'll handwrite my favorite genre of music

send me a: "♫" and i'll handwrite my favorite singer or group

send me a: "✂" and i'll handwrite something I find attractive

send me a: "✔" and i'll handwrite my favorite movie

send me a: "✮" and i'll handwrite my favorite food

send me a: "☾" and i'll draw something of your choice

send me a: "☁" and i'll write something of your choice

[grlmissing]

TAGS  .

attire          //          cloth   bound   figure .     you   are   how   you   look .

aesthetic          //          there’s   something   soft   in   me   /   we   killed   it   and   it’s   rotting .

musings          //          when   she   was   alone   by   herself   she   clenched   her   fists   together .

lyra   silvertongue          //          what   i   want   is   to   swallow   my   own   form   of   mercy .

ask   box   meme          //          we   must   be   killers .     children   of   the   wild   ones .

starter   call          //          i   am   fragile   and   unholy .

closed   starter          //          i   am   half   agony .     half   hope .

plotting   call          //          i   need   my   pain   now .     i’d   be   nothing   anymore   without   it .

wishlist          //          let   me   redefine   god   into   something   i   can   become .

shipping   call          //          i   don’t   want   want   your   love   unless   you   know   i   am   repulsive .

open   starter          //          a   dare .     a   rage .     an   intolerable   tenderness .

[moralscoded-blog]

TAGS   002 .

attire          //          cloth   bound   figure .     you   are   how   you   look .

aesthetic          //          there’s   something   soft   in   me   /   we   killed   it   and   it’s   rotting .

musings          //          when   she   was   alone   by   herself   she   clenched   her   fists   together .

carrie          //          what   i   want   is   to   swallow   my   own   form   of   mercy .

ask   box   meme          //          we   must   be   killers .     children   of   the   wild   ones .

starter   call          //          i   am   fragile   and   unholy .

closed   starter          //          i   am   half   agony .     half   hope .

plotting   call          //          i   need   my   pain   now .     i’d   be   nothing   anymore   without   it .

wishlist          //          let   me   redefine   god   into   something   i   can   become .

shipping   call          //          i   don’t   want   want   your   love   unless   you   know   i   am   repulsive .

open   starter          //          a   dare .     a   rage .     an   intolerable   tenderness .

[softchoices-blog]

TAGS    001 .

attire          //          cloth   bound   figure .     you   are   how   you   look .

aesthetic          //          there’s   something   soft   in   me   /   we   killed   it   and   it’s   rotting .

musings          //          when   she   was   alone   by   herself   she   clenched   her   fists   together .

odette   noel          //          what   i   want   is   to   swallow   my   own   form   of   mercy .

ask   box   meme          //          we   must   be   killers .     children   of   the   wild   ones .

starter   call          //          i   am   fragile   and   unholy .

closed   starter          //          i   am   half   agony .     half   hope .

plotting   call          //          i   need   my   pain   now .     i’d   be   nothing   anymore   without   it .

wishlist          //          let   me   redefine   god   into   something   i   can   become .

shipping   call          //          i   don’t   want   want   your   love   unless   you   know   i   am   repulsive .

open   starter          //          a   dare .     a   rage .     an   intolerable   tenderness .

[trustsfew-blog1]

Nonsexual acts of Intimacy - Select from the following for my muse to respond to...

♔ : Finding your muse wearing their clothes

♕: Holding hands

♖: Having their hair washed by your muse

♗: Your muse falling asleep with their head in my muse's lap.

♘: Cuddling in a blanket fort

♙: Sharing a bed

♚: Head scratches

♛: Sharing a dessert

♜: Shoulder rubs

♝: Reading a book together

♞: Caring for each other while ill (specify which party is which)

♟: Patching up a wound

♤: Taking a bath together

♧: Your muse playing with their hair

♡: Accidentally falling asleep together

♢: Forehead or cheek kisses

♠: Your muse adjusting their jewelry/neck tie/ etc.

♣: Back scratches

♥: Your muse crying about something

♦: Slow dancing

[raisedferal-blog]

TAGS    002 .

ask   box   meme          //          we   must   be   killers .     children   of   the   wild   ones .

starter   call          //          i   am   fragile   and   unholy .

closed   starter          //          i   am   half   agony .     half   hope .

plotting   call          //          i   need   my   pain   now .     i’d   be   nothing   anymore   without   it .

wishlist          //          let   me   redefine   god   into   something   i   can   become .

shipping   call          //          i   don’t   want   want   your   love   unless   you   know   i   am   repulsive .

open   starter          //          a   dare .     a   rage .     an   intolerable   tenderness .