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luminnara · 3 years ago

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Omega Depression || Alpha!Kiribaku x Omega!fem!reader

Hi! Can I request an alpha!Kiribaku x omega!fem!reader where she is strong on the outside, but sensitive on the inside. Then, some asshole alpha comes and insults her saying that she isn't worthy of having alphas and other super mean stuff that makes her go to omega depression. After that, she confines and isolates herself in her room, not allowing her alphas to enter. Days pass, she misses school for like a week, and her alphas are tired of waiting, so they bust the door and find their omega deep in omega depression and starving herself, and they're super worried and try to help her get out of it, cause she could die if not. The rest can be little angst with a fluffy happy ending!

Yo I live for alpha kiribaku, not gonna lie

Warnings: angst, mental health stuff, depression, eating disorder/starvation stuff, abo

Requests are open!

You were always happy with your alphas. Bakugou and Kirishima were the loves of your life, you were sure of it. The three of you got along well, and there was nothing you enjoyed more than spending time with your boys. You kept up with them easily, never having trouble when it came to handling Katsuki’s temper or Eijiro’s enthusiasm. They loved protecting you, too, not that you ever really seemed to need it; you were tough as nails, as far as everyone was concerned.

You weren’t, though, not really.

“What a useless little omega.”

The words kept repeating in your head, over and over.

“Two alphas? Yeah, right. You don’t even deserve one, not with an uppity attitude like that.”

They kept echoing, no matter what you tried to do.

“What a stupid bitch. They should just leave your sorry ass. You aren’t worthy of anyone, much less alphas.”

You curled in on yourself. You felt sick to your stomach. How could someone say that about you? How could a shitty alpha go and ruin your mood, and your day, by saying something so awful?

“I am worthy!” You had argued. “And we’re happy together, so just fuck off.”

“Oh yeah? Then why haven’t they claimed you yet?” His lips had pulled over his teeth in a sick grin. “You know they’re just biding their time, waiting for something better to come along. You’re nothing to them.”

The little spat had been earlier that morning. It was rare that you ever went out alone; usually Eijirou or Katsuki or both of them were stuck to you like glue, but this had been one of those instances when you had absolutely insisted you would be fine. After all, you were just running a couple errands. You weren’t even going very far from campus. What’s the worst that could possibly happen?

Well...this, apparently.

You had rejected the advances of an alpha who had been eyeing you for quite some time. He was annoying and his scent always made you recoil, but you would never, not in a million years, have thought that he could hurt you so deeply.

Why were his words even bothering you so much? You knew your boys liked you. They made sure to constantly cover you in their scents, they happily gave up their shirts for you to tuck into your little bed nest, they held your hands and gave you sweet little kisses...

And yet, he was right. They hadn’t claimed you yet. There were no big bite marks on your neck to show the world that you were taken. Why hadn’t it happened yet? You always thought that maybe they were just nervous, and they wanted to wait for the right time. Maybe they wanted to wait until school was over and they were better established as heroes.

Or maybe they were just playing with you, maybe you were nothing more than their favorite toy for the time being. What if they got tired of you? What if they really were planning on kicking you to the curb? Without a bond mark, nobody would even blink if they cast you aside. It would just be a normal break up, nothing for anybody else to even care about or get involved in.

But your heart was already aching at the thought of it.

You huddled up in your nest, ugly sobs wracking your body as you clutched one of Katsuki’s hoodies to your chest. An undershirt of Eijirou’s was nearby, a few plushies that they had given you tucked in amongst the blankets and pillows. The scents of burnt sugar and cinnamon wafted around you, and as comforting as they usually were, they weren’t helping you now. Nothing was.

You heard your phone vibrate, but you didn’t reach for it. You didn’t care. You were too wrapped up in your own thoughts, absolutely trapped in your head now. You were plagued by those same words as they kept repeating, telling you over and over that you were worthless, useless, nothing.

When you finally managed to glance at your phone, you had missed texts from both your alphas. You replied to them with a couple of half hearted “yeah, I’m fine” -s, then finally slithered out of bed to make sure your door was locked. You didn’t want to face them when they came to bother you.

If they came.

You spent the entire day like that. When you were out of tears to cry, you just grew numb. It was the worst you had ever felt, and while some part of you knew, deep down, that you needed your alphas to come help you, you couldn’t stand the idea of them seeing you like this. How had you managed to grow so afraid? You usually told them everything, but now...now you abhorred the thought.

“Oi!” Katsuki’s rough voice came from the other side of your door, his scent wafting in. “Open up!”

You didn’t answer, curling in on yourself even further instead.

“Omega!” he called angrily. “Stop ignoring me, dammit!”

“Go away!” you managed to squeeze out, your voice sounding weak and strangled.

He was silent for a moment, his scent changing. It grew more burnt-smelling as his anger mounted, and as it reached your nose, you felt panic and annoyance spiking in your chest.

“Omega,” he growled, voice low. You heard the doorknob jiggling as he tried to get in, but you had locked the deadbolt, and unless he unleashed his quirk right there in the dorms, there was no way he was entering your room.

“I said go away!” you yelled.

On the other side of the door, Katsuki was fuming. The beginning sparks of little explosions were popping around his hands, and if Eijirou wasn’t there to hold his arms down at his sides, there was a good chance he would have done some real damage to the hallway.

“Katsuki, c’mon.” the larger alpha said. “Let’s just leave her alone for a little.”

“Something’s wrong,” Katsuki pulled back as his partner started trying to drag him away. “She stinks.”

“Yeah, she definitely doesn’t smell happy,” Kirishima paused, frowning. “But...we need to give her the space, if she wants it.”

“Fuck that,” his partner spat.

“Katsuki....” Eijirou sighed.

Bakugou’s nostrils flared angrily for a moment, red eyes wild as Kirishima grabbed his arm once again. Someone was trying to drag him away from his omega, from his perfect little mate, and if it had been anyone other than Eijirou, he would have done far worse than simply dig his heels into the floor and growl in protest. Kirishima was right, though; if their omega wanted alone time, they couldn’t just barge in without permission. As much as it hurt both boys, as desperate as they were to get to you and make you feel better, they weren’t total animals. They respected you, and prided themselves on being two big, capable alphas who listened to their omega.

They returned to their own rooms, expecting to at least hear from you within an hour or two.

Hours turned to days.

You texted them a few times, listless, half-assed messages that did little to reassure them. You would send a pathetic I’m fine or a It’s okay here and there, only after they had both blown your phone up for a few hours. It was the only reason they hadn’t tried to tear your door off its hinges; they knew you were alive, at least. But by the third day, Katsuki was beside himself, and even Eijirou was getting upset enough to consider using his quirk to get to you.

You wished that he would. You didn’t want to face them, but at the same time, the fact that they weren’t tearing the building apart to reach you was making you even sadder. Your sad scent was starting to leech out into the rest of the dorms, and by the end of the fifth day, nobody could stop your alphas.

“Oy!” Bakugou snarled, his fist thudding against your door. “Open up, omega!”

You didn’t answer, too weak and listless to bother.

“Babe?” Kirishima asked, his voice strained with the effort of not yelling in panic.

“We know you’re in there,” Katsuki growled. “Quit avoiding us!”

Still, you didn’t answer.

Then, you could hear some shuffling, and the door was being torn off its hinges by Kirishima. Bakugou stormed in as soon as the path was clear, his red eyes blazing with anger, his hands balled into fists.

“You’d better show your face right fuckin’ now, or I swear I—“

He fell silent at the sight of you. His eyes widened, his nostrils flaring. Your scent was so strong and so incredibly miserable that a wave of nausea passed through him. He hadn’t expected that it would be so pungent in your room, and as he covered his mouth and nose with his hand, he rushed towards you.

“Baby,” he cooed, vaguely aware of Kirishima behind him, “what the fuck is going on?”

You tried to bury yourself in your nest, trying to burrow away from the world, but a big hand caught you around the middle and pulled you back out. Eijirou manhandled you easily, his eyes wide with concern as he sat on the floor and placed you in his lap.

“You haven’t been eating,” he observed, looking at your tired eyes. “Or sleeping.”

Katsuki was beside himself with worry. He was immediately sitting in front of his boyfriend, caging you in between them as he began looking you over. “What the hell is goin’ on?”

You didn’t want to tell them. Your throat was sore from crying, and you felt stupid for being so upset. So, you did the only logical thing you could think of and buried your face in Kirishima’s broad chest, clinging to his shirt weakly.

“Omega, please,” the big redhead pleaded, leaning his head down to scent you. “Tell us.”

You shook your head.

“We know Somethin’ is wrong, so spit it out!” Katsuki barked.

His voice was harsh, but you felt a warm, gentle hand on your back that could only be his. The familiar touch made you sigh, and after a shuddery breath, the dam finally broke.

“Th-there was an alpha,” you whimpered, voice muffled by Kirishima.

“What the fuck did they do?” Katsuki growled, his voice deep and savage. It sent a chill down your spine and you whined, clinging to Eijirou for dear life.

“Cut it out,” Kirishima snapped, snorting at his boyfriend angrily. “You’re making it worse.”

“I just wanna know what happened!” He grumbled, his hand pressing into your back.

You hiccuped as a little sob wracked your body. “A-an alpha I rejected, h-he told me…he told me that I wasn’t good enough for you.”

The low rumble in Kirishima’s chest was like nothing you had ever felt before. It was threatening and powerful, putting Bakugou’s growl a moment ago to shame. His arms tightened around you, the scent gland on his neck slipping over your hair as he tried to cover up your unhappy omega stink.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him.” Kirishima snarled, uncharacteristically angry.

“Hey.” Bakugou slipped a hand around your waist, prying you away from the other alpha slightly. “Look at me.”

You faced him with teary eyes, and when you tried to shy away, he took your chin in his fingers.

“We fuckin’ love you. Okay? I don’t say it much. Maybe I should say it more. But it’s true, ‘n no stupid, two-bit, shitty-ass alpha knows anything about the three of us.”

He leaned forward, pushing you back up against Kirishima with his head resting on your shoulder. You finally sighed, surrounded by the scents of your alphas, allowing yourself to relax as the dam broke and your crying started all over again. This time, though, it was freeing, and as your alphas rocked back and forth with you, you felt the dread and the anxiety slowly leaving your stomach.

“Better?” Eijirou asked after a while.

“A little.” you said, voice muffled by his tear-stained shirt.

“Good.” Katsuki said gruffly, pulling you up to stand. “Let’s go get some food in you. Point that shitbag out if you see him...I wanna have a few words.”

#kiribaku #kiribaku x reader #Alpha!Kirishima #alpha!kirishima x reader #bakugou x reader #alpha!bakugou #alpha!bakugou x omega!reader #kirishima x reader #bnha #bnha imagines #abo #omegaverse

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quinncupine · 4 years ago

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May I request Alpha Bakugo, Midoriya, and Todoroki (seperate) always protecting their Omega reader? How would they react if another alpha tried to claim the omega? Likee hmm say for example the two are walking on the street then another alpha just jumps in and talks about like how attractive reader's scent is and stuff! It is alright if youre not comfortable with writing with this many characters, this ABO au, or this idea in general!

Notes: Hi Anon! I’m so sorry this took longer than expected to do! I promise I didn’t forget you! I don’t really know much about the ABO au so I had to do a bit of research first. I’m not really sure if I landed it though, but I did have fun writing it! It’s always fun to try out something new, so I do hope you enjoy it! I also tried to keep it gender-neutral.

Warnings: Language, mild violence, slight blood, possessive behavior, Alpha-Omega au, drinking-drunken behavior

Word Count: ~2.7K

Wanna request something?

...

BAKUGO

Katsuki is the definition of aggressive. It's no surprise he'd be just as aggressive as an Alpha, especially when it came to you. Your mere presence was enough to send him into ultra possessive protective mode.

The two of you were heading back to your shared apartment after one of your weekly date nights. Since he was a pro hero, he didn't often have much free time, so he set aside a specific night each week, just for you. He wasn't the best at showing his love through words, so his actions more than made up for the fact.

A muscled arm wrapped around your waist as the two of you walked through the deserted street. The ground seemed to be swaying a bit, or that might've just been you. One drink too many could do that. Katsuki warned you not to drink so much, but you didn't listen and as much as he complained that he wouldn't carry you home, he still held most of your body weight up by a single firm hand.

"I love you," you cooed, dropping your head into his shoulder with a smile.

His hand tightened around you and a cocky grin spread across his face. "I know."

With a slight pout, you huffed, "say it back."

The tiniest roll of his eyes before he grabbed your chin with his free hand and tilted it up so he could look into your eyes. You were about to question him but his lips silenced you with a deep kiss. "You know I do." He tried to sound annoyed, but you could see straight through it.

He wouldn't be caught dead being this sentimental with you if anyone else was nearby, especially if another Alpha was near. To him, acting like that opened someone up for weakness, and with you on the line, he would never allow that. But since it was just the two of you alone, he allowed himself to show just a slight bit of passion. These little moments were reserved solely for you.

Wrapping your arms around him as much as you could, you let out a heavy sigh with sleepy eyes. The peaceful night air had a bit of a chill to it, but that was nothing compared to the heavenly warmth radiating from his body. That was until you felt his whole person stiffen.

Confused, you looked up. Then the smell hit you. Another Alpha's scent. Even in your hazy state, it smelled overwhelming, intentional…and all-too aggressive. It literally smelled like trouble. You'd had trouble in the past with other Alpha's coming on way too strong, which was one of the reasons why you were so grateful to have found Katsuki. He doesn't put up with any bullshit and isn't afraid to fight others off.

Katsuki's nails dug into your waist, his feet abruptly coming to a stop. Jaw clenched so hard, teeth nearly cracking from the pressure. Ruby-red eyes narrowed into deadly slits. A vicious snarl itching to see some action. It was a sight you were used to seeing from him. Criminals and heroes alike tried to avoid that exact look he was wearing right now.

Plenty of Alpha's had tried to come onto you in the past, but none have been so bold as to outright try to challenge Katsuki, especially in the dead of night on some deserted street. The moment they got a whiff of that dangerous heady scent, dripping with aggression and possessiveness, they immediately backed off. He didn't know the meaning of mercy.

When you turned your head to pinpoint the source of the scent, he twisted around first, swinging you to his back in one easy motion. The street looked empty from where you poked your head around his arm.

"Get lost fuckwad," he growled, "or die."

The shadows shifted and a man clad in loose black clothes that blended into the darkness so well you were having a hard time keeping your eyes on him. It was only when he stepped into the glow of a streetlamp from a block away did you finally see him clearly. He casually crossed his arms behind his head. A way of showing Katsuki that he wasn't threatened in the slightest. Even a full block away the poignant smell of him invaded your nose.

"What a temper on this one," he purred with a sultry charm guised to disarm, a complete contradiction of his hostile scent. "You know babe, you'd be much better off with me."

"Don't fucking talk to them," Katsuki snapped, fingers digging into the fabric covering your arm. "Or I'll kill you."

"It's not worth it," you tugged on his jacket a bit. "Let's just go."

Even as you said it, you knew it was pointless. Katsuki never backs down from a fight. Violence is ingrained in his DNA.

"Gonna take orders from an Omega? At least I know how to keep them in place, like a real Alpha," he smirked, crossing the street. A deep growl rumbled in Katsuki's chest, but the other Alpha ignored it. "Can't you smell it? I could smell their scent three blocks away."

You were on suppressants but alcohol is notorious for diluting their effect and of course, you had to show him up and drink more than him tonight. Was your scent out of control? You didn't think so and Katsuki hadn't said anything about it all night. You couldn't smell it, but if that Alpha had followed you all this way, it must've been strong.

As the Alpha drew closer, you realized just how bulky the man was. He stood taller than Katsuki by almost a foot and that grin stitched into his face was making you nervous. The whole situation was stressing you out so much Katsuki could most likely smell it comes off you in waves. His bright vermillion eyes found yours and he huffed. That instinct to protect was warring with his compulsion for reckless abandon. Before he could say anything, the Alpha made the first move.

With a snap of his teeth, the burly man took off towards Katsuki and Katsuki didn't waste a second. He pushed you back and charged. The two met in a head-on collision. A bright explosion lit up the darkened street with an echoing boom. When the light faded and the smoke cleared, Katsuki stood over his opponent, an angry snarl spilling from his grinning face as he smashed his foot into the Alpha's singed back. What was the phrase? All bark and no bite.

Once he was sure the Alpha was down for the count, he trudged over to you. Without a word, he grabbed your hand and pulled you away. After a few minutes, he deemed it far enough and stopped to pull you into his chest, resting his chin on your head.

"The nerve of these assholes," he muttered, eyes still glaring at the soft shadows surrounding them. He wouldn't feel better until you were back home, under his watchful eye. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," you mumbled into his shirt, closing your eyes with a relieved sigh. "I'm always fine when I'm with you."

MIDORIYA

Izuku isn't a typical Alpha. His demeanor is usually quiet and kind so it always surprised most people to find out he was one. Only making sense when he went into battle mode. The sheer ferocity this guy displays while fighting is one of the most intense things anyone will experience. R.I.P any brave soul that decides to challenge him. He gives it his all, especially if it means protecting someone under his care; namely you.

After leaving the theater (yes, Izuku drags you to each new All Might Movie premier, and no, you don't have a choice in the matter) you lean into him, listening to him gush about every detail the movie had gotten right or horribly wrong. This man was a serious fanboy. His voice was soothing to hear to so you could listen to him prattle on forever if you had your way.

The two of you had almost made it to the car when someone stumbled into you. If Izuku hadn't had his arm around your waist, you would've fallen down with the obviously drunk man. He pulled you away from the drunkard and did a quick check to make sure you weren't hurt before turning his attention to the man. "Hey, are you alright buddy?"

"Dammit!" the man groaned as he crawled back to his feet, swaying from side to side once he made it up. "Watch where you're goin'," he slurred out, lips having a hard time forming the words. Then he sniffed and blinked a few times, focusing on you. "Mmm, you smell good."

Izuku stiffened, subtly stepping in front of you, eyes narrowed. "Your drunk, it's time you went home."

"What's a lovely thing like you doing out so late?" he ignored Izuku entirely, puffing out his chest with a sleazy grin. That's when the scent hit you. Strong, mixed with the smell of alcohol. It made your nose wrinkle in disgust. "Come here doll, I can take good care of ya."

A low rumble vibrated deep within Izuku's chest. A warning. A threat. Most sensible Alpha's would've taken the cue, but this guy was far from anything resembling sense. Izuku is, for the most part, a rational Alpha, but when the drunkard stepped closer to touch you, he lost it.

It was so quick, you almost missed it. Izuku snatched the grimy hand, twisted it which in turn forced the man to twist as well, and sent him flying with a powerful kick to the rear. He kicked him so hard the Alpha flew halfway across the parking lot, landing in a small puddle with a loud splash. It took a moment for him to roll over, body still trying to process what just happened before finally falling back into the puddle with a long-winded groan.

Izuku stood rigid, eyes locked on the Alpha who had curled in on himself. He gnashed his teeth a few times trying to even out his huffy breaths. Small sparks of green electricity quietly crackled off his skin.

"Izuku?" you grabbed one of his fisted hands and pulled it close.

He looked down at you, still trying to calm his racing heart. Izuku didn't like to get like this in front of you and that in itself was making him more upset. But a part of him loved the fact that he could protect you so easily and that you took comfort in that fact.

The Alpha, apparently too drunk to remember what just happened, rolled out of the puddle and back to his feet. His back was dripping wet, but he didn't even seem to notice as he staggered off into the night.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, finally turning to you.

You wrapped your arms around his muscly frame, fingertips just barely meeting on his back. "What're you sorry for? You protected me, didn't you?"

A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Pride swelled in his chest. A slight tinge rushed to his cheeks so he tucked his face into your neck, nuzzling his nose deep into the crook. Your scent was always so calming and he stayed like that for a minute until he remembered you were both still standing outside the car. "Let's go home."

TODOROKI

Shoto is a strong silent Alpha. He's probably the calmest of the three, but that doesn't mean he won't hesitate to kick anyone's ass if they dare mess with you. He's mastered the evil eye glare and combined with his natural Alpha aura, most steer clear.

You had decided to take a day trip to the next prefecture over to see your friends and had asked Shoto to pick you up from the train station. So, there he was, standing on the platform, umbrella in hand as the rain came down in a steady, freezing pour.

When the train finally pulled in, he scanned the cars until he saw you step out. Even in the heavy rain, he could pick up your scent and it was screaming distress. It confused him until he saw why…or rather smelled why. Stepping out behind you was a lanky man, mere inches from your back. His grinning face was bent next to yours as he talked with you, well more like at you. Large hands ghosted over your hair, taking in heavy whiffs of you. A grimace stuck on your face as you did everything in your power to ignore him, but trying to ignore an Alpha was like trying to ignore a blowhorn to the face. Loud, obnoxious, and completely overwhelming. The longer you ignored him, the more irritated he grew.

Shoto snapped the umbrella closed so hard he almost broke it. He no longer cared about getting wet and used the tip to wedge himself between the crowd of people. The hair on his neck stood on end. The rain on his right side froze the minute it touched his skin while on his left, it turned to steam. He tried to suppress that ball of rage building in the back of his throat, only for an aggravated growl to escape. Anyone who managed to catch his wrathful gaze quickly jumped out of his warpath.

The Alpha placed his hand on your shoulder and that was the final straw. You turned to swat him off, which was apparently the wrong thing to do. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you right up against him, dark eyes narrowed, teeth bared. Panic took over as you struggled to free yourself from his too-tight grip.

An umbrella came out of nowhere, whacking the Alpha right in the nose. He let go of your wrist with a startled yelp, stumbling back a few feet.

Shoto suddenly materialized between the two of you. You'd been so distracted that you didn't even realize you could smell Shoto's scent. But now that he was up close, it was all you could smell. Strong, powerful, and…furious.

"What the fu-AAAH!" With a scream, he toppled over. Both legs were frozen together in a thick column of ice. He hit the ground hard, head smacking on the wet concrete.

Shoto towered over him, shooting that perfected evil eye, face masked in shadows. "Next time," he growled, voice low and terrifyingly calm, "I'd advise not to touch people without their permission." Crouching next to his head, he glanced down at his left hand where a small flame erupted, and despite the pouring rain, only seemed to grow brighter. "Or you might get burned."

The man wisely stilled, eyes wide. "I didn't know they already had a mate dude, I swear."

"Regardless, don't ever let me catch you treating someone like that again," he snapped his hand closed, extinguishing the flame. "Is that understood?"

The threat was heard loud and clear but the Alpha glanced at you and Shoto grabbed his chin and pulled his gaze back to him. "Don't ever look at them again."

A nod and Shoto threw his face to the side, standing up. Taking a moment to compose himself again, he turned to you, hunched in on yourself, looking slightly embarrassed. Too many people were staring because Shoto had made a scene. He could care less about what other people thought. Someone had messed with you and he had to make it right.

Holding a hand out, you accepted it and he ushered you away. The both of you were soaking wet but he still opened the umbrella again, shielding you from the rain. Once you were far enough away from the station and other people, he stopped to inspect you.

"Are you hurt?" he asked, looking for any obvious signs or lingering scent marks.

"No, I'm fine." You hugged yourself, not sure if you were shivering from the cold wet or from that creep, possibly both.

With a frown, he pulled you in close. His left side immediately warmed you up and you buried your head as far as you could into his chest, that familiar, safe scent surrounding you. "Thanks, Sho."

That intense anger was slowly ebbing away the longer you held onto him. That need to protect, to comfort taking its place. You alone were the only thing that seemed to be able to calm him down when he was so worked up. Wrapping his free arm around you, tucking you in as tightly as possible, he kissed the top of your head. "You know I'd do anything for you."

#mha #alpha-omega au #deku #bnha #midoryia izuku #katsuki bakugou #todoroki shoto #bnha x reader #mha x reader #my hero academia #midoriya izuku #boku no hero academia #izuku midoriya x reader #deku x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #request

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ao3feed-piltovers-finest · 2 years ago

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Hi! A while ago you made a post with some great Violyn recs, and I bookmarked and went through and loved all of them, but I didn’t do the same with some that were in progress, so could you link them again? And then also, do you have some new recs? :)) There’s so much stuff out there right now and it’s a bit hard to sift, so unbiased suggestion for something interesting and well written would be much appreciated. I don’t really care about the length as long as it’s good, in character and hopefully canon compliant? Or anything else that stands out, really. As for ratings everything is a go, just a big NO to abo (even if we put noncon issue aside, sorry but there’s only a limited amount of blowj*bs I can take in my basic lesbian p*rn, lol) or gross monster stuff unfortunately abundant these days. Also, nothing wrong with WIPs but preferably finished stories? And TYSM. For what you’re doing there, and for all the recs, past and present! <3

Hey there! :)

First of all, thank you for your kind words, and second - apologies for a relatively tardy reply (also, if you sent this message twice by mistake, the reply's to the greyface one - in case you wanted to retain anonymity, if that's okay?) since it took a bit to compile appropriate thoughts and words for a decent response. But since below the cut you'll be able to find not only links but also (unsolicited? :) reviews, I hope it'll at least give you enough of a fix - for a while?

Now, let's start with...

That post, that I think you can still find under 'fic recs' section on the main page, there were two WIPs there, if I recall? One of them is still a fun read (the unpretentious, fun AU one that I think I tagged as my 'guilty pleasure' at the time?) and the other, well - despite having a really intense beginning it got convoluted and overly watered down half-way, and lost me. (So, no more recommending WIPs, yes - check. Lol.) But to answer your other question - in the meantime I read, loved, and would wholeheartedly recommend... hmm. Ok, since you basically gave me free range apart from the omgaverse (for which - no worries, I don't care for it either, I've seen dozens of them passing over this page, but only one well-written, with an actual interesting plot and character dynamics - but a WIP, so we might go back to that one at some later point? ;) the ONLY criteria now I guess would be...

The works of some new and/or underrated authors? How's that, to fulfill the primary intent of this blog, which is to promote and/or send appreciation to those who really truly deserve it?

So, yeah. In no particular order, here are some of my recent faves:

Digging Like You Can Bury Something That Cannot Die series by shoutoutout

@shoutoutout

Canon compliant, a study on guilt, loss and acceptance. A truly gripping study, a recontextualization if you will (expanding the context span, filling in gaps) with emphasis on that residual emptiness that one never truly accepts, just learns how to live with. The way in which Vi is given facing, then coping with all of it in such a simply human, fight or flight way - is incredibly relatable. While the first part written from Cait's perspective gives a unique insight into her upbringing, her heritage, her relationship with her mother (which, perhaps it's just me - but I love seeing it explored beyond what we've seen onscreen, especially with that last scene, where it's evident that no matter how much she disagrees with her mum she still looks to her for comfort when she is despair) and then of course - grief flooded with regret. Really masterfully written.

Grenadier by antistar_e (kaikamahine)

@kaikamahine

Set post-finale, this is basically a character dynamics piece, written from Vi's perspective. It's a gentle, at times funny and yet gritty and profound exploration of regret, mourning and unhealthy coping mechanisms - on everyone's behalf, with developments between Vi, Cait and Jinx (yes, all three of them - but don't let this deter you just because Jinx has absolutely no boundaries ;) this is uniquely beautiful portrayal of sisterly relationship. The simple way Vi explains her love for Jinx will break your heart, because she loves her despite everything, the guilt, lack of remorse - it's the love that doesn't preclude justice or exempt her from consequences, but just grows, adapts, restitches its seams. It has elements of romantic developments (in different directions?) but the central part is the sisters, and to be completely frank it's the best fic I've ever read exploring these dynamics, post finale. Both characterisation as well as style wise.

Drink from the Cup of Fortune by xanthinriff

@xanthinriff

'Does happiness bloom from the soil of pain, or is pain a byproduct of happiness lost?' If you've ever read anything else written by this author, you'll know that their writing simply cannot be summarized, objectively or rationally. And this one is not an exception, it is post finale, post everything and beyond, and it gives us Vi's perspective on - grief, guilt, need to belong, the feeling of loss, helplessness, selfishness, mental self-flagellation... gosh, I've said it before and I'll say it again, xanthinriff has a uniquely, gut-wrenching writing style that packs a punch - undaunted to tackle even the most complex, or darkest of emotions so it's definitely not for those who want a sappy, trite emotional lemonade. But rather real raw human emotions, such as... well, those listed above?

Now, the author has deleted their A03 account for personal reasons, but this specific work is still available per request, exclusively here (author's prerogative, of course) so if what you read there got you intrigued - send us a DM and we shall deliver.

(This is also valid for some of their other work, previously referenced and recommended on this page)

sweet & bitter by garcondencre

@garcondencre

Canon compliant. An exploration of what happened between the moment Caitlyn and Vi found themselves alone in Cait's bedroom and the moment they left each other in the rain. A beautifully heartfelt character study, a train of thought from Vi's perspective, if you will. Characterization is spot on, emotions are intense and tangible, and the inner conflict fleshed out so viscerally, painfully well.

The Power of a Name by kendricked

@caitkirammans

One of those 'five times' prompts, written from Caitlyn's perspective. A very interesting take on how she viewed things that happened, and then those that [spoiler]. It contains some missing bits, or interludes, if you will. They speaks volumes on Caitlyn herself, seamlessly showing that cross between that naivetee and genuine selflessness - and also how she saw, and sees Vi. Emotional intensification written and depicted at its best.

keep your head low by espressbian

@espressbian

Canon compliant. An amazing dive into Caitlyn's mind (ok, I guess Vi’s as well - in the second chapter?) showing us their respective perspectives on things that happened - through this very skillfully written inner dialogue, depicting the inner workings of both of their minds, but especially Caitlyn's... I found it gripping, touching and impressively intense all at the same time.

no powder but stardust by softnyx

(tumblr unknown - let us know, if you do?)

I think I already mentioned this one? It's a one-shot, but is contained of eight episodes with time gaps, featuring snippets of scenes from different, not-so-random periods. Starts with that beautiful childish pure innocence and veers off into... well, two diverse worlds, a canon divergence AU (star-crossed lovers of sorts, comes to mind) that grows close to the one of game canon-world? The characterisation is endearingly tangible and wholesome, and it is absolutely amazing what a skillful author can do in such little space and with so few words.

Wrap ya gun in giftwrap by Latenightsgunfights

@latenightsgunfights

This is quite a short piece, basically just smutty. Why on this list, you might wonder? Well, the way it shows Vi struggling between how she sees herself, the subtly shown conflict between the tough front and bravado and how she feels about herself in regards to Caitlyn, how it manifests in their physical connection - the implication how certain feelings can be put into submission... it's quite a lot (yeah, no one's immune to hot smutty ones, but I prefer them with some substance, alright? ;) for a short piece with barely 1k of a wordcount.

Chances by mira_blue

@mira-blue

To be completely honest, this is not really CaitVi (they're just acknowledged in the passing) but rather a canon-compliant take on Vi's complicated relationship with her sister, post S1. (Yeah, I've been kinda leaning towards those, recently - can you tell? :) Pieces like this, exploring this kind of dynamics of theirs are quite rare, and this one may seem like just a drabble - but try to get into Jinx's fragmented stream of consciousness. It's uncomfortable, realistic and tangible, all at once. I've seen very few well-written ones and this one is my absolute favourite one.

Shadow of Nothing by UmbreonGurl

@umbreongurl

Quite sure you've read some of the other works of this author as well, but this one is a bit different from all of their other (AU? fluffy? comedy? romcom?) work, and a bit underrated in my opinion. In a span of a single chapter it covers literally everything, from the prison break till post finale - while at the same time being a character study of Cait. It's simple, unpretentious, with effective time lapses, and an interestingly different, more realistic view of Vi - as it makes more sense that she'd be more distrustful, standoffish and defensive to start with in the beginning. But it's a quite fresh and intimate take on Cait, and it's not that angsty (like the rest of the stuff from this list), so...

Dust Collected OnMy Pinned-Up Hair by tailoredjade

@tailoredjade

Ok, there are so many high-school AUs out there, but there's just that something about the pacing of this one. It covers a longer timespan, with smaller/larger gaps and ellipses, but the way it captures the yearning and pining is incredibly palpable. It's friends-to-lovers, but in a way also a compelling character piece that captures Cat's inner workings (exasperation? anxiety?) rather well. Quite interestingly written (in terms of sentence structure, or how it follows the character's thought-process) it's a fittingly positive one, for the end of this list?

Aaand - that'd be all.

As always, if you enjoy any of these (and even if they're not really new for you - and you already had, lol) go drop these lovely people out there a positive note, some appreciation and encouragement - and then let us know as well.

Cheers! 🌈💖

#caitvi #vicait #caitlyn x vi #piltover's finest #vi x caitlyn #piltovers finest #violyn #arcane (league of legends) fanfiction #fic recs #anon #replies

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wenellyb · 3 years ago

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i just saw your pinned post about other parts of mcu fandom being bad and i'm curious what's so awful about the Eternals fans? (aside from people ignoring characters you like who deserve more love or hype. it sounds very frustrating but i guess there's somethin more going on if it's so terrible you compared them to the loki fandom. do they argue a lot or just have bad takes on the movie?) i'd love to know if you don't mind explaining :)

i haven't seen Eternals, but i'm ok with spoilers

Hi Anon!!!

To start it off I would like to say yhat I really liked the Eternals movie. It's not the best movie I've seen but I still liked it a lot and most of all I really liked the characters...they were great.

What is bad about the Eternals fandom? Where to start? The same thing that is bad with all other MCU fandoms and the same stuff you’re mentionning... They find one White character to latch onto and obliterate all the rest. This time they did it with Druig. I would have guessed Ikaris, but I guess he didn’t have enough redeeming qualities so they had to go to the next White character, Druig; even though Kingo and Phastos, were just there. Kingo was definitely the funniest of the Eternals and also an interesting character to explore, but somehow the fandom is making it all about Druig.

Which itself is ok. It’s ok if Druig is their favorite character but I can’t stand them acting like he’s a sweet cinammon roll who has never did anything wrong in his life. He did some awful stuff in the movie (I know you said you don’t mind spoilers but just in case I put the recap at the bottom under read more).

It’s funny you mention Loki, because the Druig stans are reminding me of Loki stans a lot, maybe they’re not as bad, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the path they were following.

It was the same with Loki, I’ve always liked Loki as a character, but I can stand the Lonki fandom because most of them want to act like he’s an innocent victim. I have seen too many posts from Loki stans saying he had never done anything wrong in his life; when he’s a literal murderer, he killed dozens and dozens of people. Like a villain is fine... But the first step should always be acknowledging he’s a villain...

When I got out of the cinema, I really liked Druig, he wasn’t my favorite but I found his character so interesting, but going into the Eternals tag... I nearly got a headache. Same stuff again and again...Everytime there’s a likeable White Character the MCU fandom pulls sh/t like this and ends up making me hate that character, or at least wanting to stay away from that character as much as possible.

Then, there’s the fact that the MCU shipping fandom has claimed for years that they wanted LGBT representation and when there’s a Gay character; who is married with a kid and who’s not a side character left into the background, but it’s hard to find posts about Phastos in the Eternals tag. Worse than that, they’re tagging their druig stuff with “Phastos” and as a result, it’s also getting difficult finding Phastos stuff in the Phastos tag.

It’s disheartening to go in the tag of the first Gay MCU Character and hardly find any new posts, or posts from other characters while know that if he were White and thin, his tag would be filled with dozens of new posts every day. Like don’t say you want LGBT characters if all you’re going to do is ignore them... or at least be honest and say that you want White LGBT Characters.

And it’s not a matter of screentime, because I checked and Phastos and Ben have the EXACT SAME screentime (maybe one or two minute difference on a 2+ movie, so exact same screentime).

TL:DR: What’s wrong with the Eternals fandom? The obsession with Druig while refusing to talk about his terrible actions, the fact that they ignored the first canon M/M couple just because none of them is White, in short, the same old thing.

Here’s what Druig did, I won’t go into details but it’s still spoilery so I’m putting him under read more:

He was upset about the Eternals stupid non intervening rule, which is good, but he went to the other extreme and while mind controlling people to stop a violent invasion, he chose another pat and decided to live in the forest (Amazonia forect in I remember correctlw) with a group of people he was mind-controlling. It’s implied that he mind controls them regularly, and they have this sorts of chapel, so it all points out to him being some sort of cult leader or leading a sect something like that. And when we meet him a thousand years later, they are being attacked by deviants and Druig mind controls those people again to fight the deviants, even though they’re humans and could die anytime. It took Sersi convinving him to let them go because it wasn’t their fight for Druig to change his mind.

Somehow I hardly see people talking about this; but there are already hundreds of posts about Druig’s leather jacket.

#Let’s not even talk about Kingo who was the funniest character in the movie but hardly any posts about him either.#druig #drukkari #phastos #eternals spoilers #ikaris #loki #anon asks #l

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btsqualityy · 4 years ago

Text

Assuage: Chapter 8

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: ABO (Alpha/Beta/Omega) dynamics, angst, fluff, smut, enemies to lovers

Warnings: Brief mention of a miscarriage (nothing detailed or graphic, though)

“You’re looking good Hyo,” you muttered as you ran the ultrasound wand over Hyorin’s baby bump. Since Hyorin was only a few weeks out from delivery, you had been having doctor’s appointments with her more and more lately.

“The heartbeat?” She questioned softly and you smiled as you reached over and pressed a button on the ultrasound machine, a loud whooshing sound filling the room moments later.

“130 beats per minute,” you smiled as you looked up at her. “You’re fine and they’re fine.”

“Good,” she sighed in relief. “I’m just so close to the finish line, I don’t want anything to happen.”

“Hey, we talked about this,” you said as you set the ultrasound wand aside, handing Hyorin a few sheets of paper towel to wipe the gel off of her stomach. “Just because you miscarried last year, that doesn’t mean that you can’t go on to have completely healthy pregnancies.”

“I know, I’ll just feel so bad if I can’t give Joon the family that he wants,” she huffed, grabbing onto your hand and sitting up straight.

“I told you before, screw my brother,” you smiled, making Hyorin giggle. “He’d love you even if you two never had pups so you don’t need to worry about disappointing him.”

“You’re right,” Hyorin smiled. “But speaking of love, what’s going on with you and the lone wolf?”

“Nothing,” you shrugged as you cleaned off the wand, setting it back into its’ holder next to the machine.

“With all of the time that you two have been spending together since the full moon party, I know you don’t expect me to actually believe that,” Hyorin snickered.

“It’s only been a week,” you chuckled.

“And you two have eaten at least one meal together every day in that week,” she shot back.

“How did you know that?”

“Tae told me,” she shrugged.

“Well, you can tell Tae that we aren’t like that,” you told her. “He’s cool and all, and we do get along better than we did when he first got here but that’s all there is to it. It’s only friendship.”

“If it means anything to you, Joon told me that Yoongi has been settling into the pack seamlessly and that you two would be a good match,” Hyorin revealed. “Especially given your position within the pack and him being Prime.”

“Hyo, when have I ever cared about either of my brother’s opinions?” You wondered and she just shook her head as she laughed.

“Never.”

“Exactly, so I’m not about to start now,” you smiled.

“Alright alright, I’m not gonna badger you about it like I know Taehyung does,” Hyorin said as she held her hands up in mock surrender. “I just want you to be happy Y/N-ah.”

“I am,” you assured her. “I don’t need an Alpha to make me happy though.”

“No I know, but it’s more than that,” she sighed. “Having someone to love, it’s an amazing feeling. Joon and I have it, Tae and Kook have it, hell even Jimin and Hobi have it so I want you to have it too.”

“And I will, but I’m not gonna rush it,” you replied.

“Alright,” she relented. “Do you wanna come back to our cabin and look at some of the baby clothes that the elders gave me?”

“Sure, I don’t have any other patients schdeuled today,” you nodded with a smile. After telling the receptionist where you would be in case of an emergency, you left the infirmary with Hyorin. However, you didn’t make it far before you were stopped in your tracks.

“Hello Y/N-ah,” Sehun, an Alpha, greeted you, turning towards Hyorin afterwards. “Hello Pack Omega.”

“Hello,” Hyorin smiled.

“Hi,” you said slowly.

“How has your day been going?” Sehun asked you.

“Good,” you nodded. “Is there something that I can help you with?”

“Well, as I’m sure you know, I work in agriculture,” he began. “Growing crops and things of that sort. Well, I wanted to offer you a gift even though you probably have gotten better offers from others.”

“Oh, I don’t think,-” you started to say but you were cut off by Sehun extending his hands to you, a small bracelet sat in his palms. The bracelet was made with blue beads (your favorite color) and white thread, with small pictures of ocean waves craved into the beads.

“Oh, that’s stunning,” Hyorin whispered as she leaned over to get a better look.

“Y/N-ah?” Sehun called and you reached out to touch the bracelet, marveling at how well made it seemed to be.

“It is very nice,” you admitted and Sehun let out a breath of relief. Before you even knew what was happening, Sehun slid the bracelet onto your right wrist.

“I hope you’ll be able to keep it safe for me,” he smiled. “Have a good rest of your day.” He then turned around and walked away, all while you were still in shock at what he had just done.

“Well, that was bold,” Hyorin noted.

“It’s pretty but just sliding it onto my wrist without even asking for express permission first,” you scoffed, reaching down and pulling the bracelet off and sliding it into your pocket. “That’s the type of shit I hate.”

“Yeah, like that’s the only reason,” she muttered.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Hyorin smiled, reaching out and looping her arm around yours. “Come on, let’s go.”

.....................................

Once you and Hyorin made it to her and Namjoon’s cabin and walked inside, you both were immediately greeted with the sound of loud arguing.

“I really think having the crib below the window is the better idea,” Namjoon stated firmly.

“Spoken just like a pup who knows nothing about decorating,” Kibum muttered.

“I’m not a pup!” Namjoon shot back.

“What is going on in here?” Hyorin chuckled as the both of you stood in the doorway of what was slowly becoming the nursery. Namjoon, Kibum, and Yoongi all looked towards the doorway, and you couldn’t help but to notice the smell of irritation in their scents.

“Baby,” Namjoon whined as he walked over towards the door. “Kibum won’t listen to me and put the crib where I want him to.”

“The only reason I even asked you was because I thought you’d have more sense,” Kibum interjected before looking at Hyorin. “He wants to put the crib underneath the window.”

“What?” Hyorin said as she looked up at Namjoon. “Why?”

“I was thinking that some sunlight would be good for them,” Namjoon shrugged.

“Oh baby, your heart’s in the right place but it’s not a good idea,” she giggled. “Even though you built this house good, it’s still noticeably colder by the window than anywhere else in this room. We should put it against the wall by the door, that way it’ll be easier for us to hear them.”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” Kibum smiled triumphantly.

“But for some reason, it sounded so much better coming from my mate,” Namjoon glared at him, and Kibum just rolled his eyes in response before turning to look at Yoongi.

“Can you move the crib while I go get the rattle and stuff?” He asked and Yoongi nodded his head.

“Yeah, go ahead,” Yoongi replied. As Kibum walked out of the room, you turned your head and saw Namjoon already looking at you.

“How’d the appointment go?” He asked you.

“Everything looks good,” you smiled. “Strong heartbeat and everything’s right on schedule.”

“Great,” he grinned widely. “Baby, one of the elders heard about your craving for chicken soup and brought some over.”

“Yes!” Hyorin whispered excitedly, reaching down and grabbing Namjoon’s hand. “Let’s go get some.”

“Why do I have to,-” Namjoon started to ask but Hyorin just pulled him behind her out of the room, and you rolled your eyes at how non-subtle she was being.

“Hey Yoongi,” you greeted him and he looked up at you as he moved the crib, nodding his head at you once before looking down again.

“Ok,” you said slowly, not really liking the fact that he didn’t verbally reply to you. “How’s your day been?” You waited until Yoongi had pushed the crib against the wall that Hyorin said, turning around to face you and only giving you a shrug in response.

“Oh, well the crib turned out nice,” you tried to compliment but when he only gave you another small shrug, you snapped. “Damn, what the hell did I do to you for you to go back to being a complete dickhead?”

“....Nothing,” he muttered and you rolled your eyes.

“Bullshit. I thought we were cool now,” you said.

“We are.”

“Then why aren’t you acting like it?” You questioned.

“It’s....your scent,” he started.

“My scent?” You repeated with wide eyes. “I thought you liked my scent.”

“I do...when it smells like you,” he replied.

“Huh?” You wondered, completely confused as to what he was getting at.

“You smell like another Alpha,” he admitted, and your eyes widened in realization. “And it’s bothering me.”

“Oh, it must be Sehun’s scent from the bracelet,” you murmured, moreso to yourself but Yoongi heard you.

“Bracelet? What bracelet?” He asked.

“On our way over here, Sehun stopped Hyo and I and tried to offer me a gift, which was a bracelet,” you explained. “I didn’t even accept it though, he just slid it onto my wrist with no warning and he must’ve touched my scent gland when he did.”

“So you didn’t accept it?” Yoongi checked and you shook your head, holding up your wrists for him to see.

“I told you, I rarely accept gifts,” you joked, making him smile lightly. “I didn’t even notice that his scent was on me though. I feel a little creeped out if I’m being honest.”

“Can I....scent you, then?” Yoongi wondered and your eyebrows rose in surprise.

“You want to?” You wondered.

“To help you get the scent off, yeah,” he nodded

“Are you helping me, or you?” You teased him as you held your wrist out to him.

“Both, if I’m honest,” he chuckled, taking ahold of your wrist in both of his hands and rubbing the pads of his thumbs against your scent gland that sat right beneath your palm. His familiar scent of freshwater wafted over you and with him purposefully scenting you, you even smelt undertones of citrus and mango.

“Better?” He checked, noticing how you had relaxed.

“Better,” you nodded. “Your scent’s nice. I’ve never smelled mangos on an Alpha before.”

“Well, I’m not just any Alpha,” he smirked, yelping when you reached out and smacked him lightly on the arm. The two of you continued to stand there together, Yoongi still scenting your wrist and you knew that Sehun’s scent was more than gone by now and that you were probably drowning in Yoongi’s scent now but you found that you didn’t really care. In fact, you kind of liked the thought of that.

“Hey!” Hyorin’s voice rung out, making you jump up slightly. “I can smell you both from the kitchen! Get out of my baby’s room with your scents! The only scents I want in there are mine and Joon’s!”

“Sorry!” You yelled back, smiling when you heard Yoongi laughing. “Well, you heard her.”

“I have to get back to the hardware shop anyways,” he said. “Can I see you later?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, a large grin on your face. “You definitely can.”

.....................................

Tag List: @jikook-enthusiasts @veryuniquenamegoeshere

#bts #bangtanarmynet #bts reactions #bts suga #bts yoongi #suga x reader #yoongi x reader #abo yoongi #abo suga #yoongi smut #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #suga smut #suga fluff #suga angst #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bts x reader

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grumpymacaron · 2 years ago

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T, U, E & F 💖

hi rin!!!! thank u so much for the ask ^^

also, shoutout to the anon who also asked for e!!! i did see ur ask; i hope u see this cause i will be answering it here~

e - an idol you think would be easy to get along with?

GOOD QUESTION i've never really thought about it; especially since i don't really watch variety stuff so i'm not very good at gauging idol's personalities and such

after seeing aespa in person recently, i do feel like i'd have a fun time hanging with ningning; our birthdays are pretty close, and we have quite a number of matching astrology signs (HAHAHAHA), but even setting that aside, i've seen the occasional clip of her being dorky and i would def subscribe to her hijinks, hehe

f - the first group you loved?

ooooo it really depends on whether this counts for my first group ever or the first group i stanned when i started seriously following kpop... might as well give u both answers tho, haha!

so the first group i ever knew about and liked EVER was snsd, ofc gotta start with the legends, amirite? this was wayyyy back when i was like six or so and i stumbled upon gee and girls' generation on youtube (my parents were kind of insane to let me browse the web back then but at least i turned out okay? ish?). i kept up w their title tracks from that point on, but

the first group i was super serious about was exo. which was a struggle. dunno why i did it. to make matters worse, i was a kris wu and tao stan. 💀. needless to say i don't feel the same way i did at twelve...

t - your favorite hidden talent an idol has shown?

hmmm this one is also hard for the same reasons i gave in e, but i think the one talent i can really remember is jongho from ateez and his fruits FJDKSLFJSDKLFDS

i'm very envious of him, as someone with small hands that can't even grip an apple that well, much less rip one in half...

u - the most unusual group?

imo i have yet to see another group bring what f(x) brought to the kpop industry; both in member formation, visual concepts, and music variety. the way they adapted to fit each release perfectly, and then some... it really gets me, man.

some of their fashion was super unusual back in the day (especially in their rookie era), but i think it says so much that we're seeing newer groups replicate their looks (a prime example would be krystal's hair in nu abo, shown below!!!:)

even years after their hiatus started, i have yet to see a group that hits for me the way f(x) does. i am always praying and praying for a spiritual successor, tho; i would say the closest group i've seen to getting it is billlie, but i'll have to see how they grow and evolve to be really sure.

#✑ 러브레터 *ೃ༄°*#girlsgenerati0n #THANKS AGAIN FOR THE ASK!!!#kpop #long post

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jawritter · 4 years ago

Text

Unlikely Places

Request: Hi! I love your work! Can you do a ABO? One where the reader is Beta, and Dean Alpha, and she’s his true mate/soulmate, but they don’t know it, and he gets possessive and goes into almost a feral rut where he tries to claim, and it almost kills her but Sam and Rowena save her and give Dean his Omega back? You come up with the plot because you’re amazing at that!! Please! I’d be forever in your debt!

A/N: This is the first time i have ever written ABO in the context. So please take it easy of me if some of the information isn’t isn’t normal ABO dynamic, or isn’t necessarily something seen in specific AU’s before! This is not a series, just a one shot! As always feedback is golden. I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little nervous about posting this one. It’s the most “Non-Con” I have ever written, and it took me weeks to get this written out in a way that I thought might be acceptable. I hope you all enjoy this one!

This one was Beta’d by @squirrelnotsam! Thanks so much hun! <3

Please heed the warnings on this Fic!! Warnings: (((TRIGGER WARNING!! This fic contains Non-Con, borderline rape implications! Please take caution when reading this if something like this affects you! )))

Other Warnings: Smut, almost non-con, angst, possessive Alpha, ABO Dynamics, knotting, forced claiming, forced knotting rut, almost feral Alpha, true mates, soul mates, knotting, mentions of first heat, language, scenting, non consensual scenting, disturbing Alpha behavior. Aggression, Pain, scared reader, Dean can be pretty scary in this one. Massive age gap! 19 year old reader x 41 year old Dean! Mention of parental death of reader’s parents. Language I’m sure because it’s me.

Word count: 5244

Want More? Check Out My Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

“That will be $8.97,” you tell the woman standing in front of you. She pays you for her purchase, and you hand her bag to her as the door opens and closes with a dinging chime.

Your eyes train to the large Alpha male that just walked into the filling station you were working at in Lebanon, Kansas. The Omega you were just checking out wasted no time in straightening her blouse by pulling it down lower, and making quite the show of herself as the Alpha grabbed a basket near the door, and lumbered his way over to the beer cooler, not even giving her a second look.

You had to suppress the snort as the Omega harshly grabbed the bag from the counter where she’d laid it when the Alpha had walked in the door, and made her way quickly towards the exit, leaving you alone with the Alpha as he made his way around the store, filling his little basket with things he usually buys every time he came in.

Pie, beer, jerkies of different types, sometimes toilet paper, the odd Playboy as well as the next copy of Busty Asian Beauty, lube.

You weren’t worried about being left alone in the small store with the rather large and very attractive Alpha. It’s not like it was the first time he’d ever been there, and it wasn’t like he would have any interest in you, a beta.

By law, you weren’t even allowed to speak to him unless he spoke to you first. Betas were considered even lower than Omegas and weren’t allowed to address an Alpha directly. You had to choose your words wisely when it comes to Omegas too, but they weren’t nearly as hard about that law as they were with the Alphas.

You watched quietly from behind the counter as the Alpha picked up the newest porn magazine from the rack and placed it in his basket after thumbing through a few pages.

You wondered if the Alpha lived alone. He carried himself like a bachelor, you never saw him with an Omega, nor had he expressed any interest in any Omega that was in the store the same time he was, male or female. Maybe something was wrong with him physically that prevented him from having those hormone-driven urges that seemed to rule the Alpha and Omega community?

Whatever the reason, the Alpha seemed to be almost done with his shopping, so he made his way over the counter with his basket, setting it down before finally looking up at you, giving you a tight smile before grabbing a few candy bars and adding them to his pile of stuff.

You returned his smile with a little more enthusiasm than what was probably necessary, but you couldn’t help it. Alpha or not, the man was sex on two bowed legs, and you weren’t dead.

Instead of speaking, when you had his total, you turned the screen to him so that he could read his total. This was your usual routine with the Alphas that came in the store; it was just safer.

His piercing green eyes seemed to burn a little as he tilted his head to the side and looked at you, or as much of you as he could see through the counter. Something in his stare made you want to blush; even though Alphas and Betas were not compatible physically, you felt like he was sizing you up. You had no scent strong enough that he would be attracted to, and you weren’t anatomically able to take his knot, which from what you understand was necessary to fulfill his needs.

You were 19 years old. If you were going to be anything other than a Beta by now you were positive you would have presented. You still had not, so the Alpha staring at you made you literally take a step back away from the counter, your heart rate spiking as hungry eyes watched you curiously, like he was noticing you for the first time even though you’d rang up his items a thousand times before.

“What’s your name?” he grunts, and his baritone voice sends a shiver down your spine, landing somewhere deep in your stomach, making it do a flip of sorts.

“Y/N,” you answer shortly, utterly unaccustomed to talking to Alphas. There was no one Alpha that you could recall that had ever spoken to you, and you had been working at this filling station since you were 16.

Your parents were killed by a demon when you were very small, and you were delivered to an Omega compound when you were only 12 by the man that saved your life. It was assumed you would present as an Omega because you came from what they all called a “pure” bloodline.

Much to the community leaders disappointment you never presented. So they kicked you out on your ass to fend for yourself, and you were lucky to have landed this job, and the Omega owner let you sleep in the back part of the storehouse.

Finding a place to live on your own as a beta, and at such a young one was virtually impossible, and you would have been dead by now if it wasn’t for her. You never told her about your past, and you never intended to, after all, who else in this twisted world would believe in demons.

The green-eyed Alpha leaned forward slightly, breathing in deeply, his nostrils flaring as he attempted to scent you from a distance, and you put your finger on the panic button just under the cigarette counter you were leaning against, ready to push it if he tried to cross the counter. Sure, you would probably be dead before the cops got there, but at least they would be able to find the security footage and maybe track him down.

You didn’t know what triggered this behavior from him, he’d never done anything like this before, and you wondered if he had just scented the Omega that was previously here, and just thought it was you.

The Alpha placed a large hand on the counter, about to start making his way around it when the door dinged again, and a skinny Beta man you thought you’d never see again entered the store.

“Dean! There you are? What’s taking so long buddy? Sam’s ready to get back to his Omega?” he said as he approached the green-eyed Alpha you now knew was named “Dean”, smiling as he noticed you standing behind the counter.

“Y/N? Little Y/N Y/L/N is that you?” he asked as he shoved the large Alpha aside, and leaned against the counter to talk to you. Earning himself a very disgruntled look from the Alpha and the Beta’s boldness.

“Hey Garth, it’s been a while,” you said, smiling at him warmly. You had met Garth years ago when he showed up to the Omega community you were living at not long after you’d been dumped there, taking a few Omegas there for safety after he wrapped up a hunt in Salt Lake City.

“No kidding! Look at you all grown up. What are you doing here?” he asked, totally ignoring Dean as his eyes narrowed, looking swiftly between yourself and Garth as if he was annoyed that he was missing something.

“Well, I never presented, so they marked me down as Beta when I was sixteen, I’ve been living and working here ever since. What are you doing here? There’s not another Demon around is there?” you asked, and before Garth could answer, Dean spoke up directly to Garth, who, for some reason, seemed completely unfazed by the large, and brooding Alpha leering at him.

“Wait a minute, what’s going on here? She knows about the life?” Dean said, pointing at you as if you were a piece of furniture, and you weren’t standing there at all. Typical Alpha male behavior, but you knew better than to call him out on it.

“Yeah! A group of hunters saved her from a particularly nasty Demon when she wasn't but twelve, and dropped her off at the hunting Omega compound. Looks like that didn’t work out though.” Garth said, giving you an apologetic look.

Dean turned his gaze to you, that same hungry look burning just below the surface as he took you in from head to toe. A deep growl low in his chest that made Garth burst into laughter, and you look at Garth as if he had finally lost his damn mind.

“Just ignore Dean, he’s an old Alpha who’s on the edge of a rut for the first time in too long. His brother and his Omega just moved into their bunker up the road here, and it’s triggered his hormones again.” Garth said with an eye roll, totally ignoring Dean as his eyes widened, and he looked at Garth like he could rip his throat out with his teeth for divulging that little bit of information.

“Come on Dean; we need to go, Sam’s gonna kill you if you wait any longer,” Garth said, grabbing the card from Dean’s pocket and throwing it on the counter for you to ring up his stuff. You quickly bagged his items, handed them to the Alpha along with his credit card as Garth blubbered on about something you weren’t even really listening to, doing all you could to ignore the burning, tingling feeling that the Alpha’s skin left on yours as your hand touched his.

The rest of the day progressed much as every day would. You could have sworn you saw that black Impala he was driving when you closed up that night, but you thought you must be imagining things, and locked the door before making your way to your makeshift bedroom in the back of the warehouse. Falling into an uneasy sleep, that seemed to be haunted by green eyes.

The next morning you trudged your way over to the front door to open up for the day, still rubbing your eyes and yawning widely. You didn’t see Dean until he pushed the door open almost on top of you before you could step back as if he was waiting on the door to open. You stumbled back out of his way in surprise, fully awake now. Dean said nothing, just came very close to you, scenting the air around you before tilting his head to look at you curiously.

You didn’t speak, you didn’t move, hell you were too afraid to do anything but stand there holding on the counter next to the coffee pots.

Leaning over your shoulder, Dean brushes his body against your own as he reaches behind you, and grabs a coffee cup, filling it with black coffee all while keeping you virtually pinned to the counter. His body moving over your much smaller frame made an involuntary shiver roll through your body as he pulled away from you, and made his way over to one of the small booth seats next to the window before making himself comfortable there. His green eyes followed your every move as you quickly made your way to hide behind the counter.

Your entire body was shaking as you tried to get a grip on yourself, as well as your imagination that was running wild in your head. It was effectively putting all kinds of thoughts that shouldn’t be there, thoughts that were not only so far fetched they were laughable, but thoughts of Dean’s hands on your skin, thoughts of Dean’s powerful body moving above yours in a way that made you almost whimper.

Shaking yourself, you continue about your day, choosing to ignore the large Alpha once you have calmed down enough to move from behind the counter. Dean never left his booth except to go to the bathroom. He stayed there literally all day long, just watching your every move. Never speaking to you, never getting close to you again, just watching. When you closed that night, you had to finally speak directly to him, to get him out of there, even though you knew you weren’t supposed to address him without being addressed first.

“Dean, I’m closing, you have to leave,” you tell him in a voice you hope sounded more confident than you felt. Dean said nothing, his green eyes racking over your body before he stands and leaves without so much as a word, and you lock the door quickly behind him.

The next week went on much of the same. Dean would be there as soon as the door unlocked. Thankfully you had learned to move when you opened the door. He’d take his seat in the booth after scenting you, then would stay there until you made him leave, just watching you.

You knew Alphas could become possessive of Betas, it was rare, but it did happen. You also knew that possessive Alpha’s could be dangerous, and had the tendency to be violent towards the Betas they have become possessive over, or they could become brutal to people around them in general.

Dean was an older Alpha. If you had to guess, he was in his early 40’s and unmated. Things like this happened when Alphas went unmated for too long.

You tried to text Garth, but he didn’t answer, he was probably on a case somewhere. You knew Garth said that he was about to go into rut, and with Dean’s behavior as of late, you hoped that Garth was just joking. Cause a rut could mean he’d try and hurt you.

The next day you didn’t see Dean all day long. You thought maybe he found something else to be focused on or obsessed with. That or Garth got your text, and alerted this Sam they were talking about to Dean’s strange behavior. Part of you was relieved, and part of you was disappointed. Sure, you knew you and Dean could never be a thing, and staring aside, he did make you feel a little safer when he was around, and he definitely made you blush every time he looked at you like he wanted to touch you.

Three more days passed without Dean making an appearance, and you had all but gave up on ever seeing Dean again. You check to make sure everything is off before trudging your way towards the little bedroom you had made for yourself. Your mind on Dean, and not really on your surroundings, you almost miss the large man standing in your room when you turned your light off, almost, a possessive growl let you know you weren’t alone pretty quickly.

The hair stood up on the back of your neck as you turned slowly to find Dean, standing in the middle of your room with nothing but a low hanging pair of sweats that were doing very little to hide his thick length that was straining against the fabric.

Your core clenched around nothing, and a shiver ran through your body as you took in the Alpha, his broad shoulders and strong chest on full display as it rose and fell rapidly with each quickened breath, sweat prickling his skin as he stood in the dim light. His tattoo shines boldly on his chest, you knew of as an anti possession tattoo from your time at the compound. You backed up and he took a step towards you, a deep purring coming from him as his lust blown eyes scanned your body.

“Dean, you need to leave,” you tell him, knowing full well that wasn’t going to happen. He was in rut, and you were the object he’d chosen to fixate on, and now you were pretty sure he was going to kill you.

Dean, back you slowly towards your bed, growling low in his throat as his body came down over yours as you fell onto your bed. He was nuzzling his face deep in your neck, scenting you and purring as his teeth ran over your throat.

“Dean, you need to stop, I’m not an Omega. We can’t do this, you will hurt me,” you beg him even though your body was screaming for the Alpha hovering over you, now nipping at the skin of your hroat.

“Not an Omega, still mine. You want me, I can smell it,” he said as he ripped your shirt from your body as if the materially wasn’t made of anything at all. The cold air hitting your skin made you gasp, large hands roaming all the free skin as his mouth claimed yours dominating you easily. His tongue sliding over yours as his huge hands pulled your shorts and underwear from your body. He threw them to the floor before he discarded his own sweats.

“Dean, think about this, I can’t take your knot, this isn’t going to do anything but frustrate you further,” you attempt to make him see reason, even though your body was arching into him as if he couldn’t get close enough, his thick cock sliding through your dripping folds, gathering as much of your slick as he could. Purring and licking at your throat as he did so.

Dean was huge, you had heard that Alphas were large, but Dean was so big that you weren’t sure he’d get in all the way. You’d only ever been with Betas before, and you were convinced that he was twice the size of any of them without his knot.

“Mine,” Dean growled against your skin as he pushed into you, fully seating himself inside of you in one thrust, surprising you. The stretching was almost painful: you had never felt so full in all of your life. Dean’s mouth fell open in an inhuman growl as his lips latched around your nipple, sucking and biting as his hips began to snap into yours. He pulled himself almost all the way out before fully penetrating you again. Each powerful thrust on the edge of pure bliss and too much.

You were almost sure that you could practically scent him as he continued to pound himself into your body, over and over again hitting that stop deep down inside of you that no one had ever been able to reach before. Purrs and growls falling from his lips as teeth repeatedly grazed the same spot on your neck. You could feel the coil tightening in your stomach with each powerful thrust, and before long, you were coming undone around him. Dean continued to fuck you through it. Groaning and sucking a mark onto your shoulder as spots appeared before your vision.

Your head lulled back as you came down from your high. Dean’s body continued to slam into your own.

That’s when you felt it, the stinging pain that was the beginnings of his knot. You knew he was about to split you open, and you did everything you could to get him off of you, scratching, and biting seemed to only push him on. Possessive growls left his lips with each thrust into your abused heat.

“Dean, please stop, I can’t,” you begged him as you felt his knot start to swell further, and pain began to radiate through your body. Dean was too far gone, an animalistic look on his face as he quickened his pace.

You screamed as his knot popped, locking the two of you together as he came, his teeth sank deep into the skin of your throat as your mouth fell open in a scream that never came out. Your vision goes black as indescribable pain radiated through your body. The last thing you remember was Dean purring above you as everything faded to black.

Time seemed to be moving at a strange pace after that. You would get flashes of what you only assumed could be reality because of the blinding pain radiating through our body. You could have sworn you heard Dean apologizing to you between whining noises as he carried you somewhere. Then there was the sound of the Impala starting, after that, you didn't know much. Except for pain, you knew pain because it felt like it was burning through every fiber of your being.

When you woke up again, the pain was gone, but the first thing you saw was fiery red hair, making you jump, which caused pain to shoot through your body again.

“Easy there, dear, you’ve been through a lot; let’s not move around too quickly,” her thick accent and motherly voice seemed soothing to you, and you slowly tried to calm your breathing.

“Where am I? Who are you?” you asked, eyes shooting around the room that looked like an old infirmary.

“You’re in the Men of Letters Bunker. Poor Dean brought you here after he almost killed you.”

Your heart rate spiked up at the thought of Dean. You didn’t know if you were afraid of him, or more anxious to see him again. The whining sound he was making as he carried you to his car was still so clear in your ears, and even though he did this to you, something in you told you that he didn’t mean to do it. That he wasn’t in control, he would have never hurt you of his own free will. If so, he wouldn’t have brought you here, but instead left you there to die.

“Where is Dean?” you asked her as she fussed over your neck bandages where Dean had bitten you.

“He’s locked in his room until he is out of his rut, not by choice mind you, he’s not happy about being kept away from you. He should be out of it by the end of the day. Last I checked on him, and he will be happy to hear you're awake, the name’s Rowena by the way, “ she said as she walked over to the old book sitting at a table in the corner of the room.

You watched as the older Omega woman flipped through the old book's pages in front of her, adding ingredients to the bowl sitting on the table next to her.

“Why did he do this to me?” you asked her just as the door opened and closed with Garth, and another very large Alpha entered the room with long brown hair.

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out. Rowena here is the best witch in the business, and if there’s a way to solve this, she can.” Garth said as he flopped down at the foot of your bed. “This is Sam, by the way, Dean’s little brother.”

Sam nodded politely at you before making his way over to Rowena.

“What we don’t understand is why my brother tried to claim and knot a beta. He doesn’t understand it either. All we can get out of him is that you're his mate and that he needs to see you. I'm sure you don’t want that to happen, especially after what he did to you, so we’ve locked him in his room.” Sam said, his eyes barely leaving the book.

“I’ve heard of a lot of strange things, but I’ve never heard of an Alpha trying to claim and knot a beta as if she was an Omega, and then calling her his mate,” Garth said.

“He’s been following me around for days now, and then he just showed up and…”

You were cut off by a banging on the door, followed by a loud whining, you recognized as Dean. Rowena’s eyes flashed a purple color, and she turned to smile at everyone in the room as the incessant whining and banging continued.

“Don’t worry, he’s not getting through that door, you should rest Dear,” she told you as the room started to get fuzzy, you were sure she was the cause of your sudden drowsiness in attempt to keep you from further agitating Dean, but you didn’t have time to respond to her before you fell back into a deep sleep.

------------------------------------

The next thing you remember is feeling warm, very warm, as if a body was pressed against yours. That’s what made your eyes snap open to see Dean’s worried gaze as he lay in the bed next to you, your body scooped up and pressed tight against his own, holding onto you as if he could protect you from all danger.

Deep whines mixed with purrs filled the room as he nuzzled himself into you gently, scenting you deeply as if he could scent you.

“This is a Bad Idea,” Sam’s voice came from the other side of the room. He was clearly keeping his distance from the Alpha that was holding you.

“He’s not going to hurt her, Sam,” Rowena said. Shifting very close to you, setting a bowl down next to you with strange ingredients inside.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I swear I would have never done that if I could have stopped, I would have, I never wanted to hurt you,” Dean mumbled, kissing your forehead gently as if you were some fragile thing. His large body all but covering your protectively as you fought against your groggy state.

“We think we know what the problem is,” Garth said from somewhere behind Dean. “See all those years ago, that Demon must have done something to you, sort of like what Azazel did to Sam. You were an experiment. One that intended to turn Omega’s into Beta’s before they even presented. There are traces of the Omega gene in your blood. Crowley mentioned something about it a long time ago, but we didn’t know he was successful. The only explanation is that you were Dean’s true mate, and he can somehow still sense it, which is why he went almost feral and tried to claim you.”

You could almost feel the anxiety rolling off of Dean’s body, and you instinctively nuzzled his hold, earning purrs of approval from the Alpha above you.

“See that, she senses he’s nervous, and she’s trying to comfort him. She’s his Omega, I just got to get the spell right to fix this,” Rowena said, shuffling around in her bowl.

“So what are you all gonna do to me?” you asked as Dean tightened the covers around the both of you, pulling you deeper into him.

“We’re going to turn you into an Omega,” Sam says, handing Rowena a strange vile of something to add to her bowl.

You look up at Dean nervously, and he places his lips softly on yours in a chaste kiss.

“It’s gonna be okay; I wouldn’t let them do this if it was going to hurt you. They’re just gonna fix what that sick asshole did to you all those years ago.” Dean said, his deep baritone voice was comforting to you, and you could swear that you could almost feel the bond between the two of you, and you were still technically a beta.

“Okay, dear, we’re ready,” Rowena said as she placed the bowl on the bed next to you, and you buried your face in Dean’s throat.

You could hear her making incantations, and things first. Then a strange tingling started to stretch through your body. Scents became stronger; you could smell Dean first. His own mouth-watering musk, mixed with evergreen and gunpowder, then Sam, and Rowena.

Your skin started to heat up as Dean’s body tense above your own, purring as Rowena ended her spell. Pressing his nose to your neck he scented you deeply.

Your body felt new, refreshed even. The soreness that was there from what Dean had done was gone, and you could feel everything Dean felt. Every emotion, every fear. It was all so overwhelming. Reaching up, you pulled the bandage away from your neck, revealing the mark Dean had left there. His claim still shines against your skin, as even though you knew he thought it would be gone.

Rowena clapped her hands behind you as Dean ran his tongue along the claiming mark on your neck, and slick started to gather at your thighs in response to your Alpha. “Well, my job here is done. Call me if you all need me, oh and enjoy, dear,” she said, patting Dean on the shoulder as she made her way to the door. Dean picked you up bridal style, making his way towards his room that would now be your room.

Not stopping until he had you laid down on his bed, lying down close to you before pulling you into him, purring as he nipped at the skin of your throat.

“My Omega,” he purred against you, an overwhelming feeling of peace washing over you with each touch of his large, warm hand against your small frame.

“My Alpha,” you tell him, nuzzling closer to him, letting his scent wash over you in waves.

“I thought you didn’t exist, I thought I was doomed to die alone. Then when I found you, I thought I had lost my mind. Then when I came to myself in your room… I’m so sorry, Omega, I will never hurt you again,” Dean said, his voice cracking as he pulled his clothes from his body, throwing them to the floor as you did the same. Desperate to feel your Alpha’s skin on yours. Heat roars through your veins as his body wrapped around yours, his half-hard cock resting on your thighs as he settles himself to lay between your legs.

You place your small hand on his chest as his lips claim yours in an intoxicating kiss before rolling himself on top of you. Grinding his hips against yours, rutting his hardening length against your clit as the first wave of cramps rolls through your stomach of your first heat. Slick gushing over him as he pressed himself against your entrance, knowing what your body needed, and ready to give it to you. The foreplay could come later; right now, he just needed to be as close to you as possible.

“It’s okay Alpha. In a lot of ways, I’m so glad you found me. I was sleeping in a storage closet for fucks sakes.”

Dean growled as he entered you slowly in one smooth thrust. The amount of slick your body was creating made a smooth entrance, and he held himself still inside of you as his lips claimed yours. Your walls fluttering around his throbbing length as your body welcomed him like a missing piece that finally was in place after being lost for so long. Both of you groaned in relief as he filled you.

“Gonna take care of you Omega, no more sleeping in storage rooms. I can’t give you much, but I can give you all that I have, and I can protect you with everything in me.”

Dean hips snap into you in a rough thrust as his instincts begin to take over, and your heat starts to take the forefront of his attention.

“I’m all yours Alpha. Always will be.”

There was a lot you still had to learn about being an Omega, and you still didn't even know your Alpha really, but you knew one thing, you were so glad he found you. Pain and all, it was worth it.

Fate always finds a way, even with everything against you. In the most unlikely places, even after you gave up hope. That’s one lesson you will never forget.

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authoressofdarkness · 4 years ago

Text

His Perfect Model - Chapter 1

Tony doesn’t need the money from porn shoots, Lord knows. It’s just a fun, extremely well paying side gig. But when he somehow acquires permanent... ah, custody... of the omega from his latest shoot, he knows he’s found his perfect model. And their fun together is only beginning. It may take him some time to convince Peter of that, but really, he’s not too worried.

Read on AO3 here. Notes, warnings, and Chapter 1 under the cut.

Notes: Hello hello! I'm back again! This is another random plot bunny that I've been fidgeting with for a while, but I was eventually convinced to get it up sooner rather than later, so here it is! This first chapter is very explicit, and it probably will be rather smutty most of the way through. Not sure how long this will be yet or what it will deal with, but just for transparency, there may be talk of past trauma that could extend to noncon, dubcon, kidnapping, human trafficking, and more. I'll tag each chapter accordingly as we get there, but none of it should be too explicit. Also, anyone familiar with GMSTS will be familiar with how I write ABO, but, as simply as possible, omegas have vaginas, alphas have cocks, and betas are what we would consider "binary." Again, I say so ahead of time just in the interest of transparency so I don't accidentally trigger anyone's dysphoria. Aaaanyway, if you've made it through my rambling and are still interested, yay! Thank you for being here, read on, and I hope you enjoy! <3

He tries not to judge.

That was probably why he gets hired for so many gigs. That and his insane amount of talent, but — well. Anyone could have that amount of talent with working with equipment if they tried. Now the fact that he builds his own… that is something special, he knows.

And, really, his technical prowess was what pays his bills more than anything, and is what made him rich. That, and his father’s name, but he tries to keep that part more under wraps. He’d turned away the responsibility that normally came with being a Stark a long time ago; but the intelligence and the mechanical prowess is practically in his blood. Unable to be rejected.

Anyway, the point is, he doesn’t need to do porn shoots; yet he still enjoys taking these side jobs. He always had, even on his way to the top, and he never made any attempt to hide it.

He doesn’t just shoot porn, of course. He’d lend his camera skills to anyone who asks and has the money to back up the offer. But of course the dirty jobs tend to be his favorites. Any alpha that says they don’t like to pose an omega how they like and look at their pretty pussy for any amount of time — and get paid the big bucks to do it — was certainly a liar.

And yeah, he takes some weird jobs included in that. But he doesn’t ask many questions except on the preferences for stylings of the job, and he’s kinky enough himself to never dream of judging the extremism of it, so… yeah, he makes pretty good money.

Today might be testing the extent of it, though.

The scene he is shooting today isn’t particularly extreme or out of the ordinary, on first glance. The omega was to be strapped to a chair with a wand tied in place to tease his pussy, and Tony is supposed to capture it in photo and on video as his torture goes through stages of multiple denials until he’s hypersensitive and begging to stop. The rest was put as to be determined based on the way it comes out.

It is far from the craziest thing he’s ever shot, and he planned it out easily enough, with a few of his favorite toys and set pieces, and he’s easily ready to go.

The weird part starts when the omega gets there.

It’s apparent immediately that this is no porn star. Aside from his experience in the field and the number of them he actually knew from it, Peter doesn’t carry himself like one. He is small and shy, with a lithe, gorgeous body, as Tony can see from the moment the two gruff alphas accompanying him strip him out of the poor excuse for a covering the omega had been wearing. All he was left in then was a slip, and it’s sheer fabric did nothing to hide the pretty nude form underneath.

Most people arrived in normal clothes and then would either change or strip.

The second thing was that he is already bound. Again, unusual. Clearly he hadn’t driven himself, of course, but… this must be a really elaborate scene for him to already be tied up. And the rope isn’t even the good stuff; it’s plain and grainy, certainly hurting his wrists and not at all his color. Tony always used rope that complimented the style of the scene and the person’s skin. It would be a waste not to.

Peter is gorgeous, and he could have used a lot of colors, admittedly. But the boy is delicate and pale — his pussy much the same in the photos — and so he’d chosen a light pink, one that didn’t wash out his already pale form and almost matched the pretty color of the soft bits he’d been paid to pay special attention to. It’s easy enough to match the background of the scene and the colors of the toys and rope together, thematically.

But that aside, all of the choices up to this point were strange. Stranger than he’s used to. But he makes it a point not to say anything. He’s not being paid to judge.

Even if Peter looks almost scared of the two men he came in with. Even if something rings off about this whole gig.

Tony isn’t stupid, but he doesn’t care much for the loss of business — at least — pushing for the truth would cause. So he pushes the thoughts down and finally approaches the omega.

“Hi, princess. Gentlemen.” He kneels down to be at Peter’s level. “My name’s Tony. I’m going to be the one taking your photos, honey. Can I get you anything before we start? A water? Bathroom break?” The omega silently shakes his head. “Alright. Let's get started then.” He holds out a hand to help him up.

Peter takes it, and Tony helps him to his feet and guides him over to the chair. “Now we’re going to start with some photos on the floor and make our way into the chair. I’m going to change out your ropes. I want you to leave the slip on, for now.” It’s white, a nice color to highlight the details of the creamy skin underneath, and doesn’t contrast with his ropes, either.

He cuts the bonds on the omega’s wrists and reties them in front of him with the pink rope, then has him lay down on the floor, propping his ankles up on the edge of the chair so the slip falls back to expose creamy thighs and stomach and the top of that tantalizing slit from above his pressed-together thighs.

Tony suppresses the urge to purr. “Perfect.” He moves behind the chair and starts taking pictures, ignoring the stir of arousal in his gut at the sight of the gorgeous omega as he does, throwing out occasional changes in position for him to follow.

Peter, for his part, is pretty demure throughout all the photos. He’s quiet — whether shy or afraid to speak, Tony doesn’t ask — but he doesn’t look sullen or make any faces to spoil the photos. He just complies with Tony’s directions, usually silently or with an occasional “yes, sir,” allowing Tony to direct and shoot him in a dozen different positions before allowing him to actually sit in the chair.

Feet on the chair. Legs crossed. Legs open. Spread your folds with your bound hands. One leg up, then the other. Knees bent. To your chest, pussy exposed wide without your fingers. Pull the sheer over it for a few shots. Hold the wand to it. Hands above your head. Hold still while I get shots of it resting there. Tied with the rope like it will be in the video. Lick the wand. Close your eyes and hold it there. Take off the slip. Repeat a few sultry shots without it.

Finally, he picks up the slip and helps the omega to his feet. “You can sit in the chair now. Put the slip back on for a few minutes.”

Peter nods and does as he’s told, and Tony watches, unable to help himself. He doesn’t find himself incredibly attracted to a lot of his clients, at least after so long of doing it, and what with his tastes being so specific… but Peter seemed to hit everything on the head, and god, it was a bit of a problem for him. He’s supposed to be setting up his camera right now, but instead he’s admiring the curve of the omega’s spine and his plump ass as he heads for the chair he’s going to tie him to and-

He snaps out of it. He’s going to shoot the video he’s being paid to shoot, and that’s it. No fantasies allowed. At least not until after when he’s jerking off to the memory of this.

He sets up his video camera, then returns to the little omega, waiting patiently for him to come to him so they could shoot the scene. Tony grabs some more of the pink rope, setting about tying the pretty thing down, wrists to the arms, ankles to the legs, back to the back, and the wand added with a loop through the middle tying his back to the chair, letting it sit perfectly against Peter’s pretty pussy. He tops it off with a blindfold, and purrs at the completed look.

“Perfect. I’m going to get a few more shots before we start filming. Just relax.” He can smell the omega starting to get slick, even just from the wand resting against his pussy. He definitely knows what’s coming. Even though it’s not Tony’s idea, or Tony’s omega, even, he’s getting slightly excited at the thought of being in control and being the one to do this to him.

He gets a lot more excited when they actually start.

He does. He can’t help it. From the moment he turns the toy on and watches the omega’s head loll back in pleasure, eyes fluttering under the blindfold, he’s rock hard in his pants, watching, smelling the omega’s slick as he goes from slightly wet to absolutely drenched and dripping down his own thighs by the third denial. And his moans… the way he meekly whines out for alpha and those little cries of pleasepleaseplease! when he’s on the cusp of orgasm… it’s pornographic, there’s no other word for how obscene and arousing it is, matched only by the way his lithe body squirms in his bonds, fabric around his eyes darkening from tears-

By the fifth denial, Tony is convinced he could probably come in his pants right now from this, if he let himself. He’s half-ass tempted to. The alphas that had brought him in have stepped outside, and Peter is slumped as much as he can be and panting in the chair, still blindfolded, just waiting for him to turn it back on. It would be so easy to rub himself to a quick and dirty orgasm out of any of their lines of sight.

He doesn’t. He turns the toy back on and lets his cock twitch and strain in his pants at the sound of Peter’s broken cry instead, finding this edging to be just as satisfying for him as how it’ll probably end for Peter. At least it’s fair.

One of the alphas that brought him in returns sometime around the eighth denial. He joins him off to the side this time.

“How many?” He sounds almost bored, eyeing the crying and squirming omega with minimal interest.

Tony tried to keep his voice even as he answers, despite the arousal threatening to roughen it. “When I turn it on again, it’ll be nine.”

“Good.” He nods, looking satisfied.

There’s a long moment of silence except for the pitiful whimpering of the omega. Tony breaks it again. “How many times am I supposed to deny him?”

“At least ten.”

“And then?”

The other alpha turns to him. “That depends on you, I think.”

“On me?” He can’t hide his surprise. The paperwork had said to be determined, yes, but he assumed it was to be determined based on what Peter could take. “What do you mean?”

The older alpha gives him a once over and purposefully scents the air before answering. “You want him. Don’t you?”

It’s not like there’s any way of hiding it, but his cheeks still tint pink. “Yes. Who wouldn’t?”

“Well, you have a chance at him before anyone else.” The alpha tilts his head. “How much are you willing to pay?”

“Excuse me?” Tony straightens. “Pay for what?”

“Him.” The alpha tosses his head in Peter’s direction.

Tony lets out a little breath. God, is it tempting, but he doesn’t need anyone else used whore, no matter how pretty he may be. “He’s pretty, I grant you, but I’m not paying to fuck an omega used by how many others before me. Thanks, but no thanks.” It sounded crude, but really. Why would he take a risk like that?

“He hasn’t been. He’s fresh meat.” The other male shrugs. “The shoot is for material to advertise him. He goes online for sale tonight… unless you pay me for him right now.”

Tony doesn’t need him to say it flat out to understand that his suspicions were right — there’s definitely something illegal going on here. And he has a choice.

But what kind of choice is it, really? He only knows two people’s names out of what is surely a ring, and in all likelihood, they’re fake names. These two alphas probably wouldn’t have shared this with him if they weren’t confident that he wants Peter enough to take it. And even the fact they were here and they did this shoot would be enough to get him in trouble, even if he turned it in himself. Not to mention the fact that they know his real identity. These two men or someone else would surely come back after him if he tried to turn them in — if they didn’t kill him flat out.

But if he bought Peter and kept quiet… it was better for him, better for business, and surely better for Peter. He couldn’t be as bad as whoever the boy would end up being sold to on the black market.

Tony meets his eyes. “How much?”

The alpha grins, pretending to think about it. “To have first go round at him? A couple grand. I’ll go back outside and let you have him until sundown, if you give us our material and the cash. To keep him? Well, I still want the photos for promotional material, but… a mil or two.”

Two whole million. For a pure, untouched, gorgeous, terrified omega straight out of his wet dreams.

Tony swallows. It’s hardly a decision. Not when he’s smelling how wet and ready Peter is sitting a few feet away and he knows he could have the money out of the bank as quick as a phone call. It’s not as if he doesn’t have it. “How soon do you want the cash?”

~~~

By the time Peter reaches the tenth denial, Tony officially owns him.

The two other alphas leave with a flash drive with the photos, the money in an account, and the promise that they’ll get the finished product of the video soon.

Soon, but not today, or the next couple, probably. He’s going to be a bit busy.

He fixes the angle of the camera so it’s situated mostly below the neck; the focus of it, of course, on the omega’s creamy open thighs, and the wet pussy forced open between them with the wand. Then he moves around, approaching the omega from the back while he’s slumped in the chair, panting and crying weakly.

He slides the blindfold off the omega’s wet eyes from behind, and Peter immediately straightens, tugging at his bonds. “H-hello? Alpha?” His voice is thick and raspy from crying.

“Hi, honey,” Tony purrs, setting his hands on the omega’s shoulders, enjoying the way he jumps at the touch as he runs them down his body. Deft fingers free the wand from its loop, and Peter sobs in relief.

“Oh alpha, thank you, gods- ngh- “

Peter starts to thank him for removing the wand, but chokes off with a broken cry when it returns, this time in the alpha’s hand. Tony smiles at the response as Peter’s head lolls back into his shoulder, turning it up a setting and shushing him gently at the sob that tears from Peter’s lips again.

He runs his other hand back up Peter’s body and settles it against his chin, grip firm on his throat, forcing him to keep his head back and on his shoulder. He drops his lips to the omega’s ear. “You can sob and struggle all you want to. I’m not going to let you come. And I’m not going to stop torturing you until you stop all of it. Don’t cry, don’t struggle, don’t beg me to let you ruin yourself. When you start saying please and thank you for the pleasure and for what I’m doing to you, and be a respectful, obedient omega, we might stop.”

“It hurts-“ Peter whimpers. “Alpha, daddy , please… I’ll do anything- oh- “ His face presses against Tony’s chest with a tortured cry. His thighs tremble viciously against Tony’s hand, back arching a little over the chair.

Tony feels a pang in his chest, but presses on. They have to finish this video before he starts going soft, at least. “You’ll sit still and be quiet. Here. I’ll even help you.” The hand not holding the wand in place comes up and covers his mouth, holding his head firmly against his shoulder. “Now be good, and I’ll make it stop.”

It takes time. Another few denials, kind of time, but it doesn’t matter. He has as long as needed. He’d given the omega an order, and he’d learn to listen, or they’d keep going all night.

Eventually, shaking and exhausted, Peter goes limp against him, eyes closed, pitiful little sobs audible but no words even trying to come from behind the alpha’s hand, still clamped on his mouth. Tony makes a triumphant little sound, and pulls the wand away. “Look at me, omega.”

Peter’s eyes flutter open, red and wet, fixing on Tony.

“Since you’ve listened, now, we’re going to be done. I’m going to take my hand off your mouth, and I want you to thank me. Don’t stop thanking me, and don’t say please, again, or we’ll stop until you can get control of yourself. Am I clear?” A nod against his hand. “Good.” He lets him go.

Peter takes a small breath. “Thank you.” His voice is barely a hoarse whisper.

“You’re welcome, omega.” Tony presses a kiss to his neck and lets the wand trail back up Peter’s thigh, suppressing a smirk at the way his breath hitches again. “Again.”

“Thank you, Alpha.”

“Good boy. Remember, don’t beg. Just be grateful.” He pauses, then slides the blindfold back on his eyes. He knows they want his full body in this shot, but he isn’t too keen on the possibility of the omega being recognized, either, knowing what he does now. Then he steps away just enough to tilt the camera back up, allowing it to get Peter’s face, and a small portion of his own neck and torso behind him.

When he returns, he takes his chin, turning his head toward the lens. “Look toward the camera, now. Think about how many people are going to see this, honey, and try show them how good you are. Let everyone see how pretty you look when you’re coming, just this once, before I take it all for myself.”

“Yes, alpha. Thank you, alpha.”

“Good boy.” With that, he turns on the wand again.

The omega’s body jumps visibly in the camera lens when the toy finds his swollen clit again. He lets out a broken little cry, but his hips don’t move, even as he starts to tremble again immediately. “Alpha- feels so good, Alpha, thank you- so close, Alpha, so close, thank you- oh god, oh- ngh- “

The force of the orgasm rocks his little body, and he nearly screams at the intensity before going completely limp in the chair again, clearly seeing stars, seeming to have blacked out.

Tony flicks the toy off and lets Peter’s head go, watching it fall to his chest as the omega pants and struggles to regain his senses. He walks over to the camera, taking it off its stand and coming closer.

He trails his fingers from the inside of Peter’s bound leg, up his core, pausing for just a moment to tease that oversensitive little bud, tearing a strangled cry out of Peter that he shushes, and then clear up to his face. He cups his cheek, stroking it as the omega’s unfocused eyes try to open under the fabric, clearly barely holding on to consciousness.

“You know you want one,” he murmurs, just loud enough to be heard. “So come get it.”

Then he shuts the camera off, setting it aside and turning completely back to Peter. It was time to get the omega home.

Taglist: @snowstark @serrabloodsong

Let me know if you would like to be added! <3

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atmo-spherique · 4 years ago

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Kaminoan: Phonetic Inventory and Counting System

While discussing clone things with @daitoshi, they offhandedly mentioned the weirdness of the number of clones in a batch (and incidentally the general structure of the GAR). Apparently this was all the inspiration I needed to decide I was going to create base-4 counting system for the Kaminoans. 32 clones per batch seems pretty random, but it is just 2 x 16 (2 x 4^2), so in a base-4 system, it’s no more random than say 200 (2 x 10^2) is in base-10. Base-4 also ties in thematically with DNA irl, so that’s fun for a bunch of cloners!

I’ve put together a guide to my process and rules for the enjoyment of all. And by enjoyment, I mean frustration because this counting systems it incredibly upsetting.

We normally assume most human counting systems are base-10 due to our (standard) number of fingers. How the heck to do count to four with three fingers, then?? Well, this is how Imma say the Kaminoans count on their fingers:

Does it make sense? I guess. Does it seem probable? Not really. But the joy of conlanging and worldbuilding for aliens is you can always just be like, “Whatever, their alien brains are built differently.”

Anyways, we’re gonna want some names for these numbers, so we gotta come up with some mouth sounds to represent them.

We do not have a lot of canon (or legends) words for Kaminoan stuff, and what we do have is of course plagued by the same issue that every collection of made up words in SW suffers from: absolutely no internal consistency. Okay, well maybe there is some internal consistency, so let’s look at what we got:

PEOPLE

Taun We Lama Su Kina Ha Ko Sai Nala Se Erla Halle Burtoni

PLACES

Tipoca Timira Derem Baran Wu Su Des Slici Tal An Glascretia Razoral

STUFF

aiwha nahra

AIWHA POD STORY

Protas Melkorr Kikla Thalina iiaa oii sso uded

DAITOSHI

Sre Len

Taun We, Lama Su, Nala Se: these are iconic of the vibe I want the phonetic system to embody. So, what features from this data set should I keep for the phonetic inventory?

I dismiss Glascretia and Razoral outright since they have a very “fake English vibe.” Same with Protas and Melkorr, since they just seem to be plays on Proteas (Greek myth) and Melkor (Tolkien) respectively. Also, I throw Halle Burtoni right out the window because every other Kaminoan we meet sounds like their name came from the same language. What the heck happened here?? Whatever language she’s named in, it’s not the one I’m building.

Get rid of thalina, too; I don’t like the <th> just because. Additionally, I’m not sure what the <h> in nahra represents (is it silent? pronounced? part of a digraph with <r>????), so we’re gonna ignore it for now. Finally, the terminal <d> in uded doesn’t fit the vibe I want to go for. I consider keeping the terminal <s> in Su Des but eventually decide against it.

From Tal An and Erla, I decide that approximants can occur finally.

I take <c> and <k> to represent the same phoneme.

For absolutely no good reason, I have always assumed the <wh> in aiwha was inspired by Maori, so I’ll count that as one phoneme. However, I decide to have all approximants have a voiced and voiceless form. So, I end up not using the Maori rendering anyways.

Great, overall we’ve got what looks like it could be a very CV syllable structure. In order to match the vibe I’m going for, I won’t complicate that too much.

We have several C<l> consonant clusters, so we’ll say that it can occur initially. And since we said all approximants can occur finally, we’ll just say all approximants can occur in this position, too. Plus, since I’m mostly just doing this project to amuse Daitoshi, this also allows for their OC’s name to be permissible in the system.

Now, what is going on with these words from the Aiwha Pod short story?? Suddenly double letters. Okay. We’ll say <a> and <i> have long forms, and then we’ll say <u> does as well for a more balanced system. Same with <s> and then <h>, again for balance. Do these words represent diphthongs? Meh. I’ll say no, they’re bisyllabic because I want them to be.

After all that, we’re left with :

m /m/ n /n/

p /p/ b /b/ t /t/ d /d/ k/c /k/

s /s/ ss /sː/ h /h/ hh /hː/

lh /l̥/ l /l/ rh /ɻ̊/ r /ɻ/ wh /ʍ/ w /w/

i /i/ ii /iː/ u /u/ uu /uː/ e /e/ o /o/ a /ä/ aa /äː/

ai /äɪ̯/ au /äʊ̯/

(C1)(C2)V(C3)

C1 = -approximant if occuring in cluster

C2 = +voiced approximant

C3 = +nasal or +voiced approximant

Yay! Let’s work on naming some numbers now.

We’ll obviously want unique names for 0-4. Additionally, the number 9 is very significant in the GAR; squads consist of nine troopers, so every other division ends up divisible by nine. Cool, let’s give 9 a unique name and let it play a role in counting. I also give 36 and 144 unique names, thinking of things like “dozen” and “gross” and “score” in English. Aside from these, we’ll want the various powers of 4 to be something simple.

Futz around with the phonemic inventory, maybe drop it into a word generator, and here are the unique number name around which all other numbers will be based:

And there you have it! The basics, at least. I’ve worked out the names of number 0-64 with which, as long as you know the powers of four, you can work out any number you’d like up to 206 billion~!

Additionally, I decided to create a numeral system (I mean, it’s only four characters, so why the heck not?) very loosely inspired by the structure of the DNA nucelobases (adenine, guanine, thymine cytosine), so here’s that:

And here is a list of the names of all of the numbers through 64! The general rule is simply that if the smaller integer appears first, it is multiplied by the following. If the larger integer appears first, it is added to the following. Aside from a few of the earlier numbers, it’s pretty regular! 9 lends its name to its multiples, and of course 36 (and 144) have unique names, as mentioned above. After hitting 64, the numbers repeat (the same way that they do in English after 100).

*both rai hhel and kwado lho are used, though the latter is rarer

Aaaand for examples in this system, I thought I’d convert some clone designations into it :3

Rex 7567 → 1312033

each digit: lho hhel lho kwa abo hhel hhel

full number: rai hhelto lho whenau kwaiil hhelte hhel

abbreviated: tehhel tekwa abo hhelte hhel

wooooow you can immediately see why they wouldn’t go with base-4 designations haha

Fives 5555 → 1112303

each digit: lho lho lho kwa hhel abo hhel

full number: rai te lho whenau kwaiil hhelrai hhel

abbreviated: telho tekwa hhel abo hhel

maybe we will just call him “Telhon” in Kaminoan :)

Cody 2224 → 202300

each digit: kwa abo kwa hhel abo abo

full number: kwate whenau kwaiil hhelrai

abbreviated: kwate dokwa abo abo (or perhaps “abora” for “double zero”)

I accidentally made his name start with “Kwate” which sounds enough like his nickname I suppose :)

And that’s it! If you read this far, um, thanks (unless you’re Daitoshi: curse you for inspiring me to create this). idk why you would, but anyone is welcome to use this for whatever purpose. Would love to see what you come up with if you do, though, so hmu~! ;)

#star wars #words #kaminoans #kaminoan language #conlang #star wars worldbuilding #praying there aren't any typos or mistakes in this #cause i am outta energy for proofing it again #the tables are absolute eyesores #bc tumblr apparently hates html tables #and also image quality #ugh.

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novantinuum · 4 years ago

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Fandom: Steven Universe

Pairing: Steven/Connie

Rating: Teen Audiences

Words: 2.6K~

Summary: In which Connie’s subconscious, innocent touch helps Steven realize just how nice the sensation of gentle fingertips gliding across the surface of one’s gem can be. (Just a bunch of teen romance fluff, + first kiss)

This is set like... a few weeks before Steven leaves Beach City. I imagine he’s been recovering from what happened in I Am My Monster for at least 6 months by this point.

His days aren’t always great- there’s a lot of ups and downs- but thankfully, today is a markedly pleasant one.

_____

His house is still for once. Impossibly so. No Diamond business, no new arrivals to Earth, no disgruntled Gems kicking down his front door. No more battles, beyond his own internal ones. Admittedly, a part of him is happy for the peace and quiet. He’s appreciative of the way all his family and friends rallied around him in support months back after... erm- after his breakdown, but every guy needs some space eventually.

‘Some space’ never has to mean alone, of course.

Steven sneaks a doe-eyed glance at the girl flopped next to him on the living room couch, her mind lost in the pages of her own fantasy world. It’s a new series, something about a human accidentally falling into the world of the fae. (It’s only been like, half an hour, and she’s almost a hundred pages in already!) A pliable smile teases his lips as he watches her eyes flicker back and forth, digesting each passage with a voracious hunger. Sighing in content, he turns his attention back to his own book, externally making as if he’s busy exploring the world of fiction to hide the sappy fact that instead he’s been thinking about her all along. Honestly? He adores quiet days like these. Even if they’re not doing anything special, it’s just nice to get to spend time alone together. It’s a comfortable together.

Connie shifts, instinctively curling closer, her free arm slung against his side. With a soft hum of content he leans into her welcomed embrace, trying his best (and— caught in her innocently bewitching presence— failing abysmally) to focus on the wandering lines of text.

Everything is peaceful.

No hard knocks, no frenzied phone calls, no family disruptions. The domestic warp hasn’t even activated once this whole lazy afternoon. In recent days, he’s pretty sure that’s a record.

At long last, his house is still... and yet in a flash, his hormone riddled teenage mind— ever foolish— is everything but.

Because Connie’s touch is tickling him.

It’s subconscious, almost imperceptible at first. At some point her free hand has roved so that it’s no longer pressed against his side, but against his midriff— which is currently exposed, his shirt bunched up at the waist from all his slouching. Teasingly, her fingertips dance upon the facets of his gem with the pinpoint expertise of a prima ballerina, encoding an endless rhythm directly into the sum of his being, the feather-light contact sending vibrations almost too faint to notice coursing through his hard light veins. But not too faint for him. Not now, not while host to this kind of silence. Not when the girl draped on the couch next to him unknowingly commands every shard of his attention with the slightest twitch of her index finger.

It’s taking all his willpower not to squirm at this ticklish contact right now. It’s so... weird when other people touch his gem. It’s certainly not something he’s used to.

(Steven promptly buries the memory of the last time someone touched it, refusing to let old terrors tarnish an otherwise pleasurable encounter. He can feel the pink threatening to rise in his cheeks, that instinctual rush of panic he’s grown so numb to over the past months rearing its ugly head. It’s so, so hard to wrestle away from its thrall sometimes, but thankfully his therapist has been teaching him ways to mitigate these sorta reactions. His eyes clamp shut as he breathes deep through his nose and focuses on the tangible, on what he knows: the plump, lumpy cushions of the couch under him, the slight scent of garlic and cumin in the air from the lunch he cooked a few hours ago, the rhythmic crashing of waves outside the house. The warmth of his best friend by his side—)

Tap, taptaptap, tap, taptaptap...

His cheeks bloom a human red as her lulling rhythm continues.

Like he said, it’s obviously subconscious. It has to be, right? It would certainly make sense. From his observations, Connie’s always been a tactile thinker. It’s part of what made her such a quick study in sword fighting. Whenever her mind is alight, those beautiful neurons firing back and forth like a firework display, her body is in motion. Sometimes it’s her foot, tapping impatiently into the dirt as she parses through memory to find the precise words to say. Or it’s like how she memorizes facts for tests easier if she’s jogging, listening to audio recordings of the test materials she made herself. And then there’s times like now, when Connie is reading. When her fingers tap and glide with an almost impish touch across the diamond gemstone in his belly’s center as her eyes— by all appearances entirely disconnected from both her hand’s motion and his reaction— skim effortlessly across the unfolding tale on her page. Her hands... oh, those hands... calloused, warm, digits lithe and curious in their movement. They’re always shifting, always tapping, always twitching to some identifiable rhythm. Is this just another example of her sway towards more kinetic-based thinking? Or... is it something else? A silent yearning that extends its roots from the heart into object reality, innocently unaware of the power of its call?

Stars, Steven thinks, mustering with all his strength to ignore his burning face, so maybe I’ve been thinking a little too much about her lately...

Eventually, it all becomes a bit too overwhelming to handle. If this continues in silence any longer, well... well, heck. He doesn’t even want to imagine what embarrassing things could happen. Mustering up all his courage, he flips his book shut and drops it on the cushion beside him.

“Um, Connie? By the way? That’s kinda ticklish,” he squeaks out, voice high and reedy.

Upon his words, she notices where her fingers are subconsciously tapping and immediately pulls her hand away, her cheeks flushing dark. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” she says, quickly tossing her book aside and shifting upright on the couch. “I didn’t mean to goose ya’! I wasn’t even thinking abo—“

“No, it’s okay!” he interjects with an open hand. “I’m fine, really, I am. I- it’s not like, uh- It isn’t like a bother, and- well, it just—“

Burning up with such a ferocity that he’s about one impulsive decision away from high tailing it out of this fraught social situation and dunking his glowing pink head right into the Atlantic, he forces himself to hush before he says something super stupid and humiliating in front of his best friend in the whole world that he’ll regret and replay in his dreams forever and ever for the rest of his days.

Okay, Steven, stop running your mouth like a lovesick fool for one second and think. How can you say this in a way that doesn’t sound entirely stupid and/or weird?

Watching him closely, curiosity written across every vibrant feature, Connie inclines her head ever so slight, a subtle, wordless gesture— one only a Jam Bud could understand— for him to keep going.

The phantom sensation of her fingers tapping against crystal rushes through his nerves like the physical analogue to a bad ear worm. He reaches up to itch at the side of his neck, unable to fully stifle his nervous laughter.

“Honestly, it uh- it actually felt pretty nice?”

“What, me touching your gem?”

“Yeah,” he manages to croak out, voice cracking like it hadn’t since he was freshly fifteen.

She isn’t able to fully stifle her giggle at this, pressing her hand tight to her mouth far too late.

His heart nearly plummets at the sound of her teasing laughter, the constant thrumming of his hard light veins steadily quickening as a flood of energy pulses just below the surface. He knew he shouldn’t have said anything, he knew it was far too much after every other recent misstep he’s made in their relationship! Why couldn’t he have just kept his trap shut?

“Aw, geeze,” he says, voice thick and his every muscle ready to bolt, “this is so embarrassing—“

“No, no! I shouldn’t have laughed, it’s okay!” she jumps in, pressing her hand to his shoulder to help ground him “It’s just bodies, Steven. It’s not weird. It’s just how skin-to-skin contact works. It’s supposed to feel good, because we’re meant to be social creatures, y’know?”

He hums softly in agreement, taking the offered moment to ease himself down from brink of panic. He focuses intently on the weight of her hand, resting feather-light against him. It’s a small gesture, but a powerful one. More than anything, more than words alone could say, it’s a promise. A reaffirmation, moment by moment. I’m here. We’re here. It’s a truth even the sobering reality of shared trauma can’t hope to erase: that even when the going’s tough, they have each other.

Connie brushes a stray stand of hair behind her ear then, shifting on the couch. Perhaps out of a sum of bashfulness, her eyes drift, not quite able to meet his.

“I- it’s silly, but I guess I never considered that you could even feel sensation through your gem,” she admits.

“Really? But you’ve had a gem before. Well, shared a gem,” he corrects himself, though in the end it’s all semantics.

“Well, sure, but when we’re Stevonnie, they don’t tend to think about stuff like that, because you’re used to it, and I’ve never thought about it. It’s simply... normal for them, I guess.”

“Hahah, yeah. It’s always been that way for me,” he says with a soft chuckle. “I never crawled like a normal kid, d’ya know? Dad says I always used to move around by scooting on my butt. When I tried crawling my gem would scrape against the floor, and apparently? I hated it.”

She laughs for real this time, (with him, not at him), her voice ringing true and beautiful and clear like a bell. His heart swells with joy.

And then...

Connie’s lithe fingers reach towards his midsection, hesitantly at first, before— in careful consideration of boundaries— pausing in their voyage entirely.

Her eyes lock with his, her shy expression wholly giving up the chase on what her request will be before she ever shifts her tongue to ask in words. “Is it okay if-?”

“Always,” he says, gently leading her hand under the hem of his shirt and towards the gemstone at his core.

He can’t help his sharp inhale when he feels her fingertips dance across his facets once more. Even when he knows what’s coming, knows to expect this contact, it’s funny. Not funny in a ‘haha’ way, funny in an ‘I’m not used to this’ way. After all, he’s never exactly made a habit of touching his own gem beyond periodic cleaning, and (almost) no one else has ever had a purpose to. It’s for this reason that a small traumatized segment of his mind still can’t help but spiral in panic about the mere concept of any external being brushing against this treasure, this tangible half of his very essence. Given the nightmares he’s been through, he’d have every right to deny her touch. But with Connie... beyond everything else, allowing her in this way is the greatest show of vulnerability he knows how to give.

It’s his proof to her that in this moment, he trusts her implicitly, without question.

Gracefully, she traces her finger around the edge of his gem, lines each individual facet in turn. It’s ticklish at first, much like before, but as she grows more confident in her gentle exploration he finds himself relaxing under her touch. He feels warm, a faint buzz of content flooding his system through his hard light veins. With her, he feels safe.

“It really is beautiful, you know that?” she says, a peaceful expression settling across her features. “Your gem.”

“Nah, you’re beautiful...” he murmurs bashfully, cheeks flushing.

“So are you,” she replies in swift measure, eyes soft with endless adoration.

His fluttering heart extends its gossamer wings and soars. If it weren’t for her nestled at his side, lithe fingers running across each facet in even measure, her tactile presence tethering him like an anchor to this present reality, he’s pretty sure he’d have floated halfway to the ceiling by now.

Daringly, his gaze locks with hers. He swears his heart’s beating its own drum solo within his chest, but this time it’s not because of fear, not at all.

It’s the feeling of freedom.

His fingers loop around a stray strand of hair that’s fallen in front of her eyes. That seems to happen a lot, he’s noticed. As delicate as he can manage, he hooks it back over her ear.

“Can I...?” he whispers, his warm breath brushing against her lips.

She replies in wordless affirmation, leaning forward to close the narrow gap between them. Hooded eyes drift shut. Her hand still rests on his gem as they finally move to cross that final barrier, that fuzzy, oft indistinguishable line drawn between childhood sweethearts and could-be couple, and kiss.

Well, attempt to, anyways.

To be fair, despite his schmaltzy roots, Steven only has movies and books to pull from as an example.

Their noses bump against each other’s at first. Both giggling, they tilt their heads to compensate and then mash their lips together, reveling in every ridiculous moment of their joint inexperience. It’s definitely sloppy, and he doesn’t have a clue where he’s supposed to put his hands or how long is too long, or how he’s supposed to move his mouth against hers, or— stars, did he even remember to brush his teeth this morning?? He sure hopes so— but because it’s with Connie all of that doesn’t matter. It’s perfect in every way.

“OoooOOOoo, looks like loverboy’s finally gettin’ some!”

He and Connie startle at the interruption, pulling apart from each other with equally flushed faces to match eyes with their surprise visitor.

It’s Amethyst, leaning against the kitchen table with a downright roguish smirk, probably thinking she’s the funniest Gem that’s ever emerged. Of course, who else would it be? (Though, which entrance did she come in from? When did she sneak past them? Were they really so involved with each other that they just... failed to notice??)

“Crude,” he says, brows creased with faint annoyance.

In return, she cups her cheeks and serves him the most ridiculous, schmaltzy expression she can muster. “Sap!”

Connie stifles a laugh at her exaggerated antics, but on his side he can’t help but be salty that her interruption yanked the two of them away from the blissful throes of blossoming teenage romance.

“Oh, get outta here, you,” he chimes back, and playfully tosses one of the couch’s pillow straight towards her face. “Shoo!”

The quartz Gem catches it out of midair and grins, no stranger to tests of reflex these days. Adopting a fake posh voice, she fires back her retort. “Your wish is my command, Sir Sappington...”

Tucking the pillow under her arm, she turns on her heels and skips up and over the warp pad’s platform, stalking towards her room with a victorious air. She doesn’t even try to mask her lovingly teasing snickers as the door splits in two at her command and she crosses the barrier into the temple’s dimension warping interior. The last they hear from her before the passageway shuts is an overly triumphant ‘whoop.’ Steven can’t help but raise a scandalized brow at this. What, were the Gems hosting a betting pool about him and Connie, or something?

But thankfully, in time, the beach house grows peaceful again. They’re alone together, and together they’re content.

“Geeze, sorry about that,” he says bashfully, scratching at the nape of his neck. “You know how Amethyst is, heh heh.”

Connie smirks with loving, mischievous intent, comfortably cuddling up against his shoulder. “She’s kinda right, though...”

“About?”

“You can be pretty sappy sometimes,” she says fondly, and tilts her head so she can smooch his cheek. “Just one of the many reasons I love you.”

____

Notes:

So, given that I’ve also written a fic wherein Steven wakes up feeling a hand against his gem and has a panic attack, a word of explanation with my headcanons-

Ultimately, I imagine there’s a very stark difference between a trusted individual like Connie touching his gem when he’s fully alert and it’s just them, alone, safe... and him waking up and being groggy enough to not immediately realize who it is next to him.

In the end though, I just hope Steven would be able to reclaim a once-terrifying experience (someone else touching his gem) as something that is also able to be loving and comforting when it’s done with consent.

#su #su future #steven universe #connie maheswaran #connverse #su fanfiction #steven/connie #amethyst #my writing stuff

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nagisasstunningpersonality · 4 years ago

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TINSITOGS, a retrospective (happy birthday)

(yes I’m like two days too late I know I’m sorry)

Why hello followers and ass class fandom, nice to see you there. I’m sure MOST people know about this, but in case you don’t, hi. On AO3 I’m better known as livixbobbiex, writer of maybe one of the most infamous Assassination Classroom fics.

Which I mean like, if you haven’t read it yet you totally should it’s fanlore at this point I promise-

Shameless plug that I don’t need aside, I felt that, on its first birthday since actual completion, I just wanted to share some things about it. Some tit bits about writing it, fun facts, maybe even some author advice TM. I appreciate that it’ll be super annoying if I do that in the tags, though, so that’ll all be under the cut. If you don’t want to read the whole post, then no matter what, thanks for the support in general!

I also want to take the opportunity to announce that I’ve reopened my discord, so if you want to talk about my fics with me (and others), you’re more than welcome to join! (the link is here)

The origin story

I’ve stated this many times, I think, but TINSITOGS was never supposed to be a serious story. Taking you back, quite a long time, it actually started in a facebook DM with a friend. We used to come up with “head canons” with each other, which were basically just very condensed fanfiction plots over a multitude of text messages. I believe I was trying to cheer her up, and I tried to come up with some kind of plot line.

At the time, I was fairly fresh to the Ass Class fandom, and I was joking about how there were no teen pregnancy melodrama fanfictions. It wasn’t that I wanted one, I just thought it was strange for a school centric anime with a bunch of ships to NOT have one. And, back then, I only really cared about karmagisa. So I just decided ‘right it’s happening’. The reason I decided to make it ABO was due to ‘it making sense’. Fun fact: it was almost written as AFAB trans Nagisa, but I decided against it as I didn’t rate my ability to handle it well back then. Looking back on it, I’m glad I made that decision.

Over around two months, writing out the plot of this story took over my life a little bit. I had no idea where I was going with it, but I was having so much fun with the drama that I decided that Karma and Nagisa shouldn’t get together soon at all, and I had a lot of fun teasing my friend with the ‘will they won’t they’. It was only when I got bored that I invented this intense drama plotline to finish it all off.

That period of time was a lot of fun. And whilst that friendship didn’t end well, I still have a lot to thank her for. She chose Daichi’s name because I had no idea, and she wanted to annoy me because I didn’t like Haikyuu. When I couldn’t decide on his hair colour, the purple was her suggestion because ‘why logic?’ Daichi speaking Korean was because of how much she liked Kpop. She even helped me choose the title of the actual fic, so there’s a lot you can thank her for, honestly.

After I finished that story, though, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Whenever I daydreamed, I used to think about that damn Daichi Akabane, and how much I wanted to tell his story. I’d even come up with extra stuff to fill in a lot of the gaps, and developed his character in my mind. I decided that I was really desperate to write it down. Usually that worked when I had an idea I wanted to work through.

I wrote the first chapter in late 2017, and then the next two as well. I just, kept going, and realised that I could go further still. TINSITOGS was never something that was supposed to be shared, but I decided I may as well. After all, that fated ‘teen pregnancy drama’ fic still didn’t exist, and I thought it would be funny to make it happen.

Yes, as I’ve stated publicly a few times, TINSITOGS was a crack fic. If I wanted attention from it, it was infamy. We even joked about me cursing the fandom if it ever became the most popular fic (whoops?). What I wasn’t expecting was a bunch of people, in a fandom where at the time there were NO ongoing karmagisa fics and it was pretty dead, to really seem to enjoy it. It was enough to have me keep writing it, at least. I still don’t know at what point I actually started taking it seriously, but somehow I did, and the rest is history?

The reception

In my wildest dreams, I never thought that I would be the author of one of the most popular fics in the fandom. To this day, the amount of views TINSITOGS has is insanity to me. For the record, across all platforms it’s on today it has 238,000, which is literally a number I can’t even visualise anymore. Almost quarter of a MILLION. To this day on AO3, it’s the most viewed Ass Class fic that’s an ACTUAL ass class fic (the others are multi fandom compilations). So yeah, I achieved the original goal, I guess?

Now you might be wondering, “omg the karmagisa fandom is fujoshi trash”. And, considering the origins, it is kind of funny. The thing is, though, TINSITOGS was written at incredibly good time. It was written when there were, essentially, very few long form Karma/Nagisa stories. If any other fics did get posted on occasion, they were usually just oneshots. I was also, at that point, writing very fast. A symptom of ADHD is becoming obsessively productive over certain things. Since I was able to get a 3k chapter out every few days/once a week, TINSITOGS was consistently bumped to the top of AO3′s default view. And some of those first few chapters were altered canon, and transcribing the canon dialogue didn’t take very long. The more views it got, the more people would read it out of sheer curiosity.

I think it also helps that, at least after it started getting some positive feedback (which was honestly after the pre written chapters), I purposely tried to make it ‘not terrible’. I mean, I personally think the first chapter is pretty weak and if it wasn’t somewhat iconic to a lot of people I’d rewrite it. But in general, I purposely tried to make the world of ABO my own, to make it more accessible to those who don’t like that genre, and stay away from the inherently grosser stuff as much as possible. I genuinely do get comments about how I introduced people to the genre as a whole, still not sure if that’s a GOOD thing but hey, it happened.

TINSITOGS turned into a lot more than just a joke. It turned into my favourite hobby. It turned into a research project (honestly, you would not believe the amount of mummy vlogs and legit scientific articles about child development I consumed). It turned into something that, at least I believe, was widely loved.

Meaning

I think it might be wrong to say that I don’t have AN idea of when I started to take the fic super seriously. For me, it was around the time someone commented something along the lines of saying my writing meant a lot to them, that they’d spent all night reading it and had been unable to put it down.

Not to get too dark here, but I do have a past in writing a very long, somewhat popular fic (it’s still on my fanfic net profile if anyone’s interested, but I don’t recommend it). However, in the latter part of my teenage years, the depression struck. Writing was the love of my life, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore. Maybe I’d be able to muster an idea or even a chapter at the best points of that, but I’d never completely finished any story. Starting to write again was a huge step in my recovery, and one of the reasons I convinced myself that life was worth it was being able to impact someone’s life somehow. Even to this day, I still remember the fics I read when I was, like, thirteen. How much I still remember them, and how much they meant to be at the time. I wanted to be that writer for someone else. To be honest, it was actually Yuri!!! On Ice that got me out of the super bad, but I still never wrote anything of real consequence. TINSITOGS was the first time in a long time I actually committed to something.

And, to be completely honest, there were a lot of times I was tired of it, and wanted to just quit. But, the thing was, I felt like people depended on me in a way. I got so many comments that were just FILLED with support, telling me how much they looked forward to every update. It wasn’t just empty words, either, a lot of the times these comments would be super engaged with the actual writing. I can’t even describe just how much they meant to me, how much I would look forward to reading everyone’s opinions. And then discord happened, which was a lot of fun.

TINSITOGS went a lot further than I ever thought it would. There were comments, discussions, fan art, fan FIC (which is honestly incredible to me). Someone even added it to TV Tropes, at one point. Not to mention the Cards Against Humanity deck and quiz It makes me so unbelievably happy that I could inspire that much creativity, but it’s a two way street. It was all of that which inspired me to write, too.

Writing

The only real goal I actually had was aiming for around 3000 words per chapter. I had a whole facebook log of plot points as planning, and I was mostly just trying to expand on them into prose. I honestly thought that, at its completion, the entire fic would be around 100k words, if that. Not, at one point, being literally the longest ass class fic on AO3.

There are a lot of aspects that were directly adapted from the original messages, and I tried to stay faithful to it more so at first, even if I later removed some of the pure crack. But the style was also vaguely similar, with the story being told mostly from Nagisa’s perspective with swaps to Karma when it made sense. All the main plot beats, too, are pretty much identical. The plus to this was I was able to add a lot of really fun foreshadowing, and I feel like it’s a fun reread because of it.

Honestly though, if there’s a demand to release those OG message logs, I will. Mostly because it’s kind of funny, and interesting to see. Isogai and Nagisa were engaged at one point, even.

Obviously, it changed somewhat. 3000 was the minimum length, and the time to completion was whenever it felt right. One of my big concerns was about pacing, so it took a lot more fleshing out and maybe ‘filler’ content for some of the main arcs to work.

There’s parts of TINSITOGS I don’t think aren’t written that well, and some that I’m still super proud of. I think you can definitely tell there’s a gradual shift in style, and I get a lot more comfortable with writing them as characters as it goes along. To be honest, my pride for the fic overall is what it represents.

It is funny to think about the places it got written in, though. I started it when I worked at McDonalds with no life direction, then it went through my first year of university with me. It’s been written in at least four countries. Aeroplanes, night clubs, long haul buses, a train through the Japanese southern coastline. Even the start of covid. TINSITOGS managed to see a lot. I even turned a scene in (the boat scene during the India chapter with altered names) to my university as a legitimate assignment.

There were also a few messages I wanted to achieve, once I realised I had the platform to put them across. One of them was, obviously, ‘use protection kids’. It was important to me that I didn’t glamorise it too much, and I think that came across. I also wanted to dispute some of the issues with ABO, and subvert the consent issues as much as I could. An arc I really ‘liked’ writing was how abuse doesn’t always look the same way, and that it can be a drawn out change in behaviour. How the most important part of ‘being a good parent’ isn’t perfection, but genuinely loving and doing the best you can for your kid. How love doesn’t solve everything, and effective communication can take a very long time to learn and build a functional relationship. I mean, there definitely was a lot I tried to put in, and you’re free to interpret it all how you want. But, I like to think some people learnt some of these things, at least.

Daichi

Honestly, Daichi developed almost of his own free will. I had a good idea of his appearance, and that he was smart. Writing him from birth until around nine years old (older if you read the sequel fic) pretty much allowed that fluidity. It was really fun to explore a nature vs nurture development, and let his own characteristics speak for themselves.

He’ll always have a special place in my heart.

This is the first image I ever made. When I was trying to figure out what Daichi looked like, I honestly just edited Karma’s hair (pretty well, actually? I’m impressed with my past skill). That’s where the ‘he looks just like Karma’ meme kind of came from.

This was the first image I actually created of Daichi. I THINK it was on rinmaru games mega anime creator or something, but it’s literally not available on the internet anymore as far as I can tell, so I can’t double check. This was in the pre-piccrew days. His eyes are closed because they didn’t have the right tone of goldish/silver.

His sister, Kaguya, didn’t even exist originally, even though I decided on that ending pretty early on. Actually, she was going to be called ‘Irina’ due to some hijinks. Initially, when Karma found out about Irina’s pregnancy, she was going to get super emotional and mad at him and basically force him to name his first born daughter after her. Karma agreed to shut her up, never intending to have another child, so when the surprise second child later came along they had to live with the pain. However, to be honest I just forgot to write in the actual scene that set it all up, and I decided against adding it anywhere else. The name Kaguya was a very last minute decision, and it was a chance for me to explore some ideas that didn’t fit with Daichi’s character.

Interestingly too, Daichi and Nao were never intended to be a thing. I only decided that towards the VERY end. Even though the reason I named Nao that was because of a ship I had in a J Drama (Good Morning Call). It just kind of ended up happening because I won myself over with imagining the cute.

The music

I used to write with a lot of background music, though not all the time. Particularly towards the start, there was a lot that didn’t really make sense thematically, yet I would write to a lot.

Here’s a link to the spotify playlist if you want it it’s basically all the ones I noted I’d listened to a lot. Not including the smut ones, though, I have a whole playlist for that.

Some of the notable ones:

Five String Serenade - the first scene I wrote of the entire fic, in Chapter 25 New Year Time where they fell asleep cuddling.

Cosmic Love - when I wrote Nagisa’s love confession scene in hospital (I also wrote this pretty early on)

Northern Downpour (though it was actually a cover by Emma Blackery) - The chapter after Daichi’s born (30)

When The Party’s Over - Confession Time Third Period, Chapter 69. I literally listened to this song on REPEAT when I planned and wrote the kind of ‘break up’ scene, and it’s one of the few parts that made me cry writing.

Turning Page - I know I said no smut, but this song actually gave me the idea to have the “I love you” in chapter 108 be less on a whim and actually more built up. In the original plan, Karma really did just say it without thinking. I’m glad I changed that.

Bury Me Low and Numb - pretty much all I listened to when writing the last few chapters, because Evil Nagisa core. So much so that Bury Me Low was in my top 2020 songs rewind.

As for the title, there’s actually quite a funny story. I had no idea what to call the fic, and when that happens I usually just try and find some song lyrics. I really wanted to use something from ‘October’ by the Broken Bells. Not only because it’s my favourite song (has been for years), but thematically it really worked. The issue was, it worked as the WHOLE song, there were no individual lyrics that captured everything. And, if they did, they didn’t flow very well. And naming the fic ‘October’ would have been weird for a lot of reasons. There Is No Sweeter Innocence That Our Gentle Sin really was just plucked randomly, in a desperate search to find any snappy lyrics from any song that had some kind of meaning. After a bit of discussion, we settled that it kind of worked... if Daichi is innocent and they committed a sin or something. It also wasn’t the most obvious lyric from the song (Take Me To Church if anyone doesn’t know) so I just went with it. It works out, I think, because TINSITOGS turned out to be a pretty good acronym and pronounceable word in its own right.

The merch redbubble drama

It’s a well known fact that I’m not very good at art. However, I decided to try pixel art because it seemed the easiest to not mess up. I made Karma and Nagisa, before deciding to also give Daichi a try.

This, to this day, is the only good quality art of Daichi that I actually own. The only one I’m actually happy sharing and thinking it doesn’t look terrible. As much as I love people sending me fanart, it’s not ‘my property’, right.

So, I was kind of joking about TINSITOGS having merchandise. At first I just made two funny quote things, and uploaded it to redbubble. I was never intending to actually make money from this, and I’d agreed to myself that if I did, I would just donate it to charity. I was joking with the quotes, but since I had this artwork I figured I may as well uploaded. Separately, there was also an image that had pixel Daichi next to pixel Nagisa and Karma (which I also created).

Aside from showing up in a few people’s adverts across the internet, there was no real harm with this. In fact, I didn’t make money anyway. It was just... more the joke of it existing. I did, however, buy myself a Daichi phone case, which is one of my favourite possessions.

The funny ‘drama’ comes in when they got taken down due to copywrite. Sure, the one with Nagisa and Karma, I understand. But the other three literally had no mention or anything to do with Assassination Classroom, aside from being from a fanfiction. So basically, someone who owns those rights claimed my OC as theirs. Which makes Daichi canon? Whatever the case, I found this hilarious don’t worry.

How has TINSITOGS changed my life?

This is quite a strange thing to think about. Because, in a lot of ways, it really hasn’t. As I’m sure a lot of people know, I don’t really consider myself to have any real ‘fame’, despite the impressive numbers. Whenever I tell people in my personal life, they seem to think I’m some sort of internet celebrity, but that’s never been the case for me. I mean, it’s hardly a cultural phenomenon.

In a lot of ways, I’d much rather befriend someone than have them admire me. Possibly because being someone’s inspiration is kind of weird... I’m just an awkward duck who likes to write after all. I don’t mind it, though. I genuinely find it an honour, even if I don’t necessarily agree. I also want to take this time to say that if anyone ever wants to talk or message me, you’re more than free to do so. I’m usually super casual with people who do that, I promise.

TINSITOGS was the first story I ever finished in the way I truly wanted to. Start to end, a full narrative. And it took a LOT. There were so many times I almost felt like quitting, or took super long breaks. For me, ADHD queen, actually finishing something was a huge deal. And I know I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t owe it to everyone who read it, and myself, to see it through. You know like, if I were to die tomorrow, at least I’ve left something behind.

In a lot of ways, it’s changed me for the better. It’s helped me develop my writing styles, and way of thinking. It encouraged me to become more active in the fandom, and develop some important friendships. I always feel like my Tumblr and Fanfiction ‘known’ factor is separate. I think most of my Tumblr following is more to do with my theories/Japanese context research if anything, for example, but I know I wouldn’t be so interested in that if TINSITOGS hadn’t lead me to deeply examine character and really look into analysing source material for clues. I also think there’s just... a lot of myself in it.

I was 17 years old, when I first came up with the idea. I finished the story when I was 20. Now, at the time of writing, I’m 21. That time has seen some pretty significant changes - just in general life facts and my own personal human development. For me at least, a lot of that was pretty turbulent, and TINSITOGS stands as a time capsule for that, in a way.

I know I gained a lot of confidence, and it affirmed to me that writing is what I love. Telling stories and sharing them is what I love.

Conclusion

Do I think TINSITOGS is an outstanding piece of writing, or the best fic ever? No. I really don’t. It’s strange to say because I definitely spent a lot of time on it, but it’s not like I put my full unbridled efforts into the story. I don’t fully plan, use a beta, or even read through on my own. And that’s okay - that’s not what I write fanfiction for. Fanfiction is my place to have fun with characters and stories I like, without the pressures of having to stand on my own complete originality. Yes, I’m fully confident that I can write at a “higher quality”, if I really wanted to. I’m also aware that some authors put their full effort into their fics, and that’s just as valid!

It feels odd to say this about my own writing, but I honestly think there’s just something in this story. It might not be written in the best prose ever, and the premise might be kind of dumb for a lot of people. But, I think, there’s some part of this fic that managed to grab people. Somehow, at some point, many readers get captured into the emotions and so drawn in that ‘they just have to finish it now!’ Again, I’m not sure myself how I actually achieved that. Of course, that won’t apply to everyone, but I do feel there’s some truth in it. And it makes me happy, to have caused that.

If TINSITOGS is your favourite fic, or if you genuinely think it’s the best story you’ve read, then thank you. I really appreciate your support, and I’m happy to have been a part of your life, I guess. I know how much fanfics can mean to a person, and that’s why I’m not going to take it down, or edit it at all. And it’s fine too, if you loved the fic for a while and moved on -i t happens. Whatever the case, I’m very honoured to have been able to occupy a moment of your life. Or if you find this fic in 10 years time, even, I still wholly appreciate you.

This story was incredibly important to me, and thank you for reading if it was ever important to you too.

You may ask, what now? Well, this is only intended to be a detailed look back for whoever’s interested, and it’s likely the only one I’ll actually do, a year after completion. Of course, if you ever want to ask me anything or just discuss the story, you’re honestly good to contact me in whatever way I have available.

I’m still writing my ongoing stories, of course, despite taking a small break due to the university work load. I fully intend to complete the stories I’ve already started to tell, at least. After that... I’m not sure if I’ll still write fanfiction. Don’t panic, this isn’t a ‘I’m quitting writing’ thing. I may, however, have bled the Karmagisa genre a bit too dry at that point. Who knows? I am pretty interested in writing something original for once, so maybe that’ll work out.

For now, at least, thank you to anyone who read this fic. To anyone who commented, liked, or interacted with me over it. To anyone who created or learnt from it. I’m really glad that I got to share this story with you all, and ultimately left some kind of mark, no matter how big or small.

Happy birthday, TINSITOGS. I had a lot of fun writing you.

#ass class #assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #tinsitogs #karmagisa

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reyloforcebalance · 5 years ago

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Confessions of a Rated-T Fanfic Writer

I have something I want to get off my chest as a relatively new member of the fanfiction community (specifically Star Wars and Reylo). At the end of this post, I have a list of my favorite reylo fics, so if you like, just skip to that.

When I started writing fanfiction after The Last Jedi, I wasn’t much of a reader. This article from the Atlantic introduced me to the world of fanfiction, and I gobbled up Forms and Interstellar Transmissions but quickly found reading others’ work made me self-conscious about my own. So, in the interest of preserving my confidence, I focused on writing.

During this period, I noticed most of the Reylo fandom was interested in rated E or M fics. Explicit fics were the most popular on Ao3 with a significant difference in the amount of attention and praise given to them verses rated T works, and the more I noticed this, the more resentful I grew. It bugged me to know that so many readers would never give my story a shot simply because of its rating.

Then one day on a whim, I clicked on a fic by Kylotrashforevor and got sucked in HARD. I found refuge in AUs because they weren’t set in the Star Wars universe and didn’t make me second guess my own plot choices. It’s like the sky opened up, the sun came out, and suddenly, I understood. I no longer felt resentful of readers who exclusively searched for rated E fics because WHY THE HELL WOULDN’T THEY!? Rated E fics have the whole package— great story, great characters, AND the sexy stuff.

Almost overnight, I became the very reader I hated. I snorted rated E fics like cocaine while barely giving fics with other ratings a glance. I was ashamed of my hypocrisy, but this did little to stop me.

Then, I started noticing a strange pattern. There were several times when I’d start a fic, get really into the plot, but when I got to the smut parts, they were just “so-so.” I glazed over the sex scenes but didn’t feel like I’d been robbed because I enjoyed the story so much the disappointing smut hardly mattered. That’s when it struck me…

Why am I only searching for E-rated fics when I’m clearly enjoying a lot more than that? If I can read an E-rated story and still love it despite so-so smut, why bother limiting myself?

So, I started opening my searches to all ratings and haven’t looked back since. I found rated G and T gems that I kicked myself for after reading because what if I’d never grown out of my stupid rated E exclusivity and missed them!?

So, if there’s a moral to the story, it’s this: You will greatly enhance your fanfiction reading experience if you put your biases aside and try a little of everything. I used to think most rated E fics were smutty trash heaps until I found Kylotrashforevor. I used to think AUs were weird, crossovers were nuts, and crack fics were just worthless. I was WRONG on all accounts. Trying new kinds of stories helped me better appreciate the breadth of talent and creativity in the reylo fandom, and I want to encourage others to do the same.

So, if you usually read only E or M fics, try giving T and G stories a shot. I think you’ll be surprised by how little you miss the smut. If you usually read T and under, let me assure you the explicit parts of many M and E fics are easily skipped. Don’t let a couple of sex scenes keep you from some of the best stories out there. Broaden your tastes, and I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Below are links to some of my favorite Reylo fics. In the spirit of this post, they represent a variety of genres and ratings. For simplicity’s sake, I’ve divided it into canon and AUs and noted if the work is incomplete.

Try a little of everything and enjoy!

CANONVERSE

Darkness Rises… And Light to Meet It series by @a-nerd-obsessed. A dark Rey role reversal fic where Rey and Ben grow up together in the Jedi Academy and struggle with their understandings of the Force. My ABSOLUTE favorite. Currently on part 3 of 4.

Higher Ground by @kathknight and Seraphprotocol. Post TLJ fic with hands down THE BEST actions scenes I’ve read in a reylo story.

The Machine by @vespaer77. Post TLJ fic that explores the role of the military industrial complex in the Star Wars universe. Incomplete.

Darkness, Take my Hand by @kathyswizards. Post TLJ fic where the Raddus rams into the Supremacy before Rey can respond to Kylo’s offer to rule the galaxy.

Sky-Marked Souls by AnonymousMink. Post TFA soulmates fic where Kylo and Rey get marks on their skin whenever the other feels physical pain.

Like Sands Though the Hourglass by @jeenonamit. Someone’s posting Reylo fanfiction to the First Order’s Intranet and Kylo IS NOT pleased.

Pillow Talk by @themoonmoths. Post TLJ fic where the bond brings Rey and Kylo together every night for bed-sharing and conversation. Incomplete.

Strike Me Down by Mericat_Blackwood. Post TFA fic where the spirit of deceased Han Solo is dead set on bringing his son back home. Incomplete.

When the Force Ships It Too by Neuvoreylogirl. Alternate TLJ plotline that pits Snoke and Luke against one another in a galactic Reylo soap opera. Snoke is the worst “cool dad” ever...

Stand in the Sun Then by @the-reylo-void. A Galaxy’s Edge-inspired fic where Kylo notices a certain three-bunned hairstyle has become very popular on Batuu.

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

First Order IT, Can I Get Your User ID? by krossartist/ @theeamazingem. Mechanic Rey likes her job except for when the computer screws up and she has to call her least favorite IT guy for help.

Fireflies by quixoticlux. ABO meets Mansfield Park meets Clueless when high school Rey can’t stop crushing on her cousin Ben. Incomplete.

Nine Lives by on_my_toes. Doctor Ben becomes increasingly concerned when he notices the barista at his favorite coffee shop has a habit of putting herself in harm’s way.

Stay Out of Trouble by Deathtoallstars. Cop Ben keeps arresting the same wily college kid who always seems to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Incomplete.

Bleeding Edge by Succubusybody. Westworld meets Stepford Wives in a dark fic where Rey takes care of scientist Ben’s every need until she makes a shocking discovery.

Can’t Turn Off What Turns Me On by audreyii_fic. Omega Rey and Alpha Ben come together during her heat and an intense connection sparks.

Miles from Where You Are by Mooncactus. Rey and Kylo get into an online battle about Star Wars films.

Nevertheless, She Persisted by @dawninthemtn. Campaign staffer Rey is tasked with keeping an eye on her boss Leia Organa’s aloof son. Incomplete.

Self-Inserted by @kylotrashforever. College student Rey happens upon journal belonging to Ben Solo, an old crush from high school she assumed hates her. As it turns out, he doesn’t…

Epithumia by Pontmercy44. Engineering student Rey keeps falling asleep in Introduction to Classical Art and Literature. Professor Solo is less than pleased.

#longpost #reylo #reylo fic recs #openyourmindsandyoursearches #fanfiction #reylo fanfiction

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bokutoslittlebird · 4 years ago

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CHEERS TO ABOVERSE IM STILL CONFUSED BUT I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ABOVERSE

IM ON A BREAK SO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT at least my version of it. Many authors who write for Omegaverse have different styles of writing it and often will make it more complex or simple, depending.

A/B/O (Omegaverse) dynamics under the cut because uh... this is gonna be long

So first off, we have the rankings:

Alpha, which are the top of food chain, theoretically speaking, and are able to impregnate anyone. “But what about females?” Yes! Female alphas have a penis, like male alphas. Now, some authors will change it up. I’ve read some where the female alpha will still have the normal female genitalia, but has a penis that can pop out of the vagina? It was weird explanation, but that’s the gist. I’ve also read it where the female alpha is born with male genitalia, so only a penis. They could also have both, it is really up to the author’s wishes. Alphas have cycles of prime breeding which is referred to as a rut.

Betas are considered the normal class, they’re the middle men. Betas do not have cycles but they do have a scent. Male betas can get female betas and omegas pregnant, and alphas and male betas can get female betas pregnant. This means female betas go through their normal menustration cycles.

Omegas are the last class rank. They are the baby makers and can get pregnant regardless of their gender. So, male omegas. They also have a prime breeding cycle which is referred to as a heat (which is very similar, in my opinion, to a normal female’s estrus period). The equivalent for this in female betas is ovulation. Now, omegas can have babies, but how do you do that if you’re male? Well, some male omegas will have female genitalia, or they go through a c-section. Some authors write it with the baby coming out of the butt. It’s weird, but it’s creative expression, no strict laws of Omegaverse. Some male omegas will have the normal male genitalia, the penis and ballsack. These are useless, however.

Now, I headcanon that there is an extra level to both omegas and alphas. Some people have the abo dynamics interacting to create alpha/beta genes or beta/alpha genes (yes, there’s a difference). I add a level to alphas, so they’re a cut above the rest. This would include, but not be limited to, Enji Todoroki (BNHA), Iwaizumi Hajime (HQ!!), and Bokuto Kōtarō (HQ!!). These alphas above alphas would be deemed “Apex Alphas”. I have seen this term used before, I just can’t remember which blog I follow (or followed) used it, so please let me know if anyone knows where the term was coined; same with the omegas. An omegas extra level is a “Fecund Omega”, and these are highly submissive, housewife-esque omegas. These can include, do not come at me for this, Yachi Hitoka (HQ!!), Rei Todoroki (BNHA), and Oikawa Goshiki Tsutomu (HQ!!). Why them? Because I feel like they just are. Of course, they can be whatever you headcanon them as. Jesus fuck i hc Oikawa As a bottom and an omega but I know a lot of people don’t see that so it’s personal opinion.

If you’ve gotten this far, you’re probably still caught on that whole “scent” thing. If you’re not, that’s okay. You’re still gonna read this. Scents are distinguishing smells that each alpha, beta, and omega carry. An alpha’s pheromones are stronger and overpower an omega’s and beta’s. Betas, while they have scents, cannot actually smell the distinguishing scent (See BokuAka: Threesome, Kinktober day 13 for an example). Omegas have scents which are often more feminine, usually referred to as being “sweet” or “floral”. There is nothing wrong with that, but it doesn’t mean an omegas scent has to be feminine. An alpha’s/omega’s scent increases and gets heavier with their rut/heat cycle. Fan fictions set in school setting are usually introducing a set of guidelines for this: either the alpha/omega is forced to stay home during their cycle, or some kind of suppressors are put in place. I’ve seen medicine used, scent-blocking collars, as well as a “special perfume/cologne” (it was only in one fic and it was on Wattpad, so not common).

Alphas and omegas also tend to fall to their instincts more often than not. It isn’t a common theme, but I feel like it would fit properly. Maybe if an apex alpha gets a whiff of an omega about to enter a heat cycle, that alpha will then become obsessed with that omega, perhaps even howling (the idea of Bokuto howling at a Reader who accidentally entered a heat cycle gets me hot dont @ me).

Onto intercourse aka sex! So, alphas have what is called a knot. It is used to plug up their mate (which is their s/o) full of their cum, yummy! Jk The knot itself will inflate as the session goes on, and is quite painful for the receiving partner. Due to this, some authors will write it so a knot is only used during a rut or heat cycle. I do them regardless because, well, I like it. Also, alphas will be adamant about not being submissive or on the receiving end due to instincts, and vice versa for omegas. Their instincts come first when it comes to their cycles, definitely, but in general as well. Knotting also faces a problem, aside from the stretch: the inflation lock. The knot acts as a plug, yes? So, the alpha has to wait for their knot to deflate before detaching themselves from their partner. This can take a few moments, until the alpha has expended their seed and possibly until both parties breathe normally. I’ve also seen it where this can last up to 30 minutes, so get comfortable!

There is another aspect of sex with alphas, but is not necessarily only with sex (it will commonly be seen during intercourse, however). That is marking. I don’t mean writing a name on skin with a marker or branding their name into skin (even tho that’s hot), no. Biting down hard enough to draw blood, therefore leaving a mark? Yes. This lays claim to an omega or beta by an alpha and is a signal of a lasting relationship. Here’s where authors differ: how long the mark lasts. Some have the marks last forever, some only a week, some a month, some for years. It depends. When a mark starts to fade, it requires the alpha to once again claim their mate. This can also lead into angst material, as I’ve read one fic where the alpha marked an unmated omega and essentially ruined their life. Or, on a different note, having a mark that will last for months and having their mate die and soon, their mark fades too. Now, both omegas and alphas can mark their mates, it’s more commonly seen with alphas, though. Betas are not seen to mark their partners, but can be marked by an alpha or omega.

I briefly mentioned scenting, which is different from scents. Let me explain. Scents are what an individual has that is their distinguishable smell. This can vary from person to person, author to author. For example, I headcanon that Akaashi (HQ!!), regardless of rank, has a distinct spearmint and/or coffee smell, which is actually quite common for him. On the other side, I headcanon someone like Bokuto to smell like a pine forest, maybe even sandalwood? Something rustic, but other authors may see him smelling like a beach or even like smoke, due to his love of barbeque. The scents are completely versatile and can come from their hobbies, interests, or favorite food. For example, Sugawara’s scent could be spicy, like maybe it has a hint of Tabasco sauce or Buffalo sauce. Another indicator of scents, if they don’t have specific interests or a favorite food (looking at you, Osamu 👁👁), their scent can somehow relate to their personality. Like in the Suga headcanons, his omega had a spicy scent because of their chaotic, feral energy. Osamu would probably smell like a recently extinguished fire, or the air before a storm. Calm, quiet, but a warning. Scents get heavier with heats and ruts, of course, but they can also be amplified due to emotions. This is often seen in fics where an omega is upset and their alpha can tell and comfort them. Or, if you’re into angst, the beta cannot properly be there for their alpha/omega because they cannot smell their scent. (Yeah I went over this twice but it’s an important aspect of Omegaverse)

Scenting is different because, well, it’s a verb first off. So, an action. Scenting is usually what mates do to mark a claim. So, scents come from scent glands (I usually put them on the neck, as do other authors). Scenting is the action of rubbing their scent onto their mate/partner. Like I said previously, alpha’s scents overpower others, so if an alpha scents an omega, their scent could stay on the entire day. An omega’s scent doesn’t hold very long, but it’s faintly there. A beta cannot, in my little world, carry another’s scent. They have their own scents, but cannot be scented or be scenting anyone.

I think that’s everything lmao. Like I said, every author differs so this is basically my system of Omegaverse. A lot of people think Omegaverse is weird or just complicated and strange, but I see it as a way to explore, kind of? Like, if I wanna make this one character go absolutely feral, I make them an alpha or omega (see Kinktober piece, day 13, again lmao). There’s a lot of freedom when it comes down to it, since their is no strict rule or law about how it is to be written or produced. Not only that, it’s an AU that can be added onto anything, since it only really affects the genitalia and who can get pregnant, yknow? It’s also good as a society set up for gay ships, like BokuAka or IwaOi, having Akaashi and Oikawa being omegas while Bokuto and Iwaizumi are alphas. This is because same sex couples are still frowned upon in most countries, especially America (the south) and Japan. It also gives these gay ships a chance to have their own little offsprings together, which is downright adorable. I personally enjoy writing Omegaverse more than regular stuff because it adds an extra element to work with and don’t get me started on the whole predator-prey dynamic. Delicious 💦

#BB.Chirps #BB.asks #Omegaverse #omegaverse Haikyuu #I guess since that’s the bulk of the focus #anyways yeah I love Omegaverse #and I’m so glad my BokuAka x reader gets so much love

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