#ashstfu

[me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink]

a dedication to someone that doesn’t deserve one

AroarA // june gehringer // sue zhao // ashstfu // ryebreadgf // sue zhao // rvbhleo // osamu dazai // ojibwa // ashstfu // anna ahkmatova // trista mateer // margaret atwood // unknown // mahmoud darwish // ocean vuong // yves olade // unknown // ocean vuong // lucille clinton // fleabag

[text IDs: Image 1: AroarA, #6: “that the house is slowly on fire / that the house is slowly on fire // and I can't get you to leave it / and I can't get you to leave it // and I can't leave without you / and I can't leave without you”

Image 2: june gehringer, I love you, it looks like rain: “the worst part of love is / that I remember it. // I walk around all day thinking: I'm going to die in the universe you loved me in. // I get so jealous of euthanized dogs.“

Image 3: sue zhao: He asks: “"how do I get over somebody I never had?" And says: // I did not love you but I almost did. At one time, I might have loved you - at least, I felt I might have. If you were never loved by me, then nevertheless you were lovable to me. Last night I dreamt that your head lay on my stomach and traced the rise and fall of my breath. It felt complete natural - even though I knew once, we had left each other. Even though I knew we had wounded each other. In the dream state, forgiveness comes easily. I never loved you but I almost did. There are days when the breadth of ambiguity feels much worse. There are days I wish I would have loved you so I would know how to stop.

Image 4: ashstfu, tumblr: “girls vs getting over anythings thats ever happened to them in their life”

Image 5: ryebreadgf, tumblr: “YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK! YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK! YOU CAN BITE AND SCRATCH AND BEG BUT YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK!”

Image 6: sue zhao: “How often are you violent against yourself? Does it horrify you? Can you stop? Do you want to? And if you did, would you know how to?”

the last three sentences spanning from “Can you stop?” to “would you know how to?” have been underlined in blue

Image 7: rvbhleo, all caps: “WHAT IS THE POINT OF LUKEWARM LOVE? IF IM NOT DROWNING IN IT I HAVE NO DESIRE FOR IT”

Image 8: osamu dazai, no longer human, highlighted in pink: “the wound has gradually become dearer to me than my own flesh and blood”

Image 9: ojibwa, tumblr: “Grieving, grieving, constantly grieving./I mourn what could have been, what will not be, what I can't save.”

Image 10: ashstfu, tumblr: sometimes getting over something is accepting you will never get over it”

Image 11: anna ahkmatova, parting: “I am very calm. Only do not talk to me about him.”

Image 12: margaret atwood, more and more: “there is no reason for this, only a starved dog’s logic on bones”

Image 13: unknown, all caps: “OTHER BOYS ARE BORING AND YOU ARE A BURNING HOUSE I WANT TO LIVE IN”

Image 14: mahmoud darwish, formatted as if in dialogue between two people: “ -Do you have any weapons on you?” “-I have a longing that's killing me.” 

the second sentence is highlighted in yellow

Image 15: trista mateer, honeybee: “I've gotten so good/about not flinching at the sound of your name/that people don't know I'd still throw myself/mouth-open into the ocean/for the chance to drown somewhere you might see it.“

Image 16: yves olade, bloodsport: “All that/matters is that you want to hurt me. // All that matters is that you want me/Say the word & I'll burn for ten days.”

Image 17: unknown, all caps: “LETS GO TO THE GARDEN./LETS BE KIDS AGAIN./I’LL CHASE YOU IF YOU CHASE ME.”

Image 18: ocean vuong, on earth we’re briefly gorgeous, highlighted in yellow: “When does a war end? When can I say vour name and have it mean only your name and not what you left behind?”

Image 19: lucille clifton, climbing: “maybe i should have wanted less./maybe i should have ignored the bowl in me/burning to be filled./maybe i should have wanted less.”

Image 20: fleabag, season 2 episode 6: a screenshot of the priest looking at fleabag, captioned, “It’ll pass.” below]

[hotgirlmeg]

so we share the same love language. hiiii biting the fuck out of u right now 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

i love this for us. biting back rn 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍👩 chomping. nibbling even.

(live footage of us)

[brothersonahotelbed]

HIIII NICO THE MOST PERFECT PERSON ON THE PLANET OMGG HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

ASH !!!!!!!!!! THE MOST PERFECT AND GORGEOUS AND LOVELY PERSON IN OUR GALAXY HIIIIII <333333 i've been okay, mostly just exhausted from work+school BUT i've been immersing myself in the most beautiful media lately that's reinstated my will to live <33 i watched i saw the tv glow and lisa frankenstein & the first season of buffy (for the first time) and i'm reading the sandman graphic novels by neil gaiman and it's all so beautiful right now . what's new in ash's world how are you doing i love you <3 <3 <3 <3

[soracities]

mim i love your tag heavy nonsense <3! here a pastry for you 🍰

ash you darling splitting this over a cup of tea w you 🫖🍵

[userzade]

omg @ashstfu hi i love ur account

[didoscity]

hey hi sorry to barge in! just wanted to say that ur taste in books is amazing :) thrilled to hear that many of these books i shared are your favorites too! plus i highly recommend light years by james salter, it’s an absolute gem! if you enjoy beautifully crafted narratives that delve deep into human emotions and relationships, you’re in for a treat. it’s one of those books that stays with you long after you’ve turned the last page!

aaaah thank youuuu, yeah i honestly have such a lovely memory of reading each of those <3 i will def check out light years, i've been having a bit of a reading slump so its actually so good to get a new rec!! thank you so much <33

[springsteens]

absolutely love that you don’t even know what a colleen hoover is LOL !! anyways hii hello what’s your fave read of 2023?

hiiii omg THE ICONIC ash in my inbox 🥺🫣

tbh I probably don't know who she is because I'm not American but to be honest I don't know much about new books coming out overall especially those popular ones that you can buy in every supermarket 🥴

favourite read of 2023? 🤔 hmmm... I finally read Dracula and I adored it. 🥰 I also loved two Polish books about the history of my country's society – about the peasants who lived like slaves and about their masters aka upper class. I also read a lot of Susan Sontag's essays and I adored them but it's hard to choose just one book out of them all. I was also crazy about Wuthering Heights after finally reading it but I'm not sure if it was the beginning of this year or the end of the 2022... 🤔 the website I'm using for saving books doesn't track the time. what about you? 💗

[virtualplushy]

omg hiii sorry to barge in, i know i just followed you but i absolutely adore the whole vibe of your blog. so so incredibly warm and sweet like honey bear-shaped bottles... worn leather-bound journals ... & the scent of the ocean breeze from a coastal village (fresh, warm, welcoming, etc!) hope u have a lovely day <3

this is the SWEETEST THING !!!!! thank u so much, i’m so glad you’re here !! this was such a warm & kind msg to send thank u sm ☹️😭

[officialkendallroy]

HIIII sab! happy fall love the new theme, so so excited for halloween!! 🎃

ASHIIIIEEE im just seeing this now but happy fall ❣️❣️❣️ i hope youre having pumpkin soup and crunchy leaves and some nice weather 💞

[hotgirlmeg]

LISA i need bollywood movie recs PLEASE

omg ash, beloved, this is like the best thing anyone has ever asked me...this is finally my time...😁💖 here we go! (doing a "read more" because this might get long)

I just went with a lot of stuff I watched in my youth (lol) and these are kinda basic but still good and fun so I hope this can help you out a bit! 🫡

☆ = personal fave

Om Shanti Om, 2007 ☆ (literally like every genre, amazing songs, deepika padukone, and honestly one of my favourite movies in general. For real, every genre: romance, drama, comedy, action, horror even, period piece, celeb cameos, revenge, reincarnation...)

Devdas, 2002  ☆ (drama/romance, I watched this way too much as a child, which may explain the way I am)

Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, 2001 ☆ (so much drama/romance, top tier songs, AMAZING cast)

Taal, 1999 (I've never personally watched this fully, but my family absolutely looooves this movie, and the songs are amazing too)

Jab We Met, 2007 (romcom - haven't watched this in forever but I remember having fun lol)

Ra.One, 2011 ☆ (action/sci-fi, I really like this one because it's sci-fi, which I don't really see a lot of, and Akon sings like two songs in this)

Chalte Chalte, 2003 ☆ (romance/drama, I shed A Lot of tears. Always.)

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, 1998 (ROMANCE, childhood friends to lovers, pining, etc etc. And I don't think I've watched this but my parents LOVE this movie so. Added to the list!)

Duplicate, 1998 ☆ (comedy/action/romance, this one is kinda silly but holds a special place in my heart <3 it's fun, okay!)

Fida, 2004 (romance/thriller, batshit insane movie tbh. I think that's all i have to say)

36 China Town, 2006 ☆ (mystery/thriller, amazing songs - again, and a fun mystery! kinda predictable now that i'm older lol but still fun)

Salaam-E-Ishq, 2007 (romance, drama, a bunch of different stories in one, and ofc a lot of Drama)

Kal Ho Naa Ho, 2003 (romance, and I shed A Lot of Tears...I haven't rewatched this in forever because I know I'll cry a lot but it's good!)

Dil Ka Rishta, 2003 (romance/kinda dramatic...as per usual, an amnesia story but it works! And Aishwarya Rai looks gorgeous as per usual!)

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, 2006 (DRAMA!!!/romance, god so much drama...it had 6/7 year old me SHOOK and even now. Insane. There's some cheating in this one.)

Capping it off here but I hope you enjoy some of these! 🥰 And perhaps I shall link my Bollywood playlist in another post...

[brothersonahotelbed]

happiest birthday nico my beloved!!! i always wish you alllll the best and hope for only love and good things to come your way 💓🍷

hi ash my belovedddd thank you so much <3333 sending the love right back at you <333

[joonary]

UM HI

HELLO ASH

[warmspice]

hii clem <3 i absolutely adore ur icon it’s so 💓!!!

Hiiiii hi <3 thank u...... Sometimes a girl's gotta simmer........

[libraryfag]

I LOVE U BASIL <3 FOREVER

ASH I LOVE YOU FOREVER TOO <3 <3 <3

us ^^^

[hrina]

STFU YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE I HAVE EVER LAID MY EYES UPON!!!!! CHANGE THAT POLL

this is how im picturing u in my inbox rn:

[springsteens]

HOW DO YOU SEND A SUPER BOOP I AM SENDING YOU A KISS IN RETURN BTW 💋👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

you do it on desktop and have to hold the purple boop feature on your dash until it starts spinning 💜 sending you a kiss, too! 🥰 you can spam me with boops to get the badges if you want (everyone can lol)