#ashstfu

[me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink]

a dedication to someone that doesn’t deserve one

AroarA // june gehringer // sue zhao // ashstfu // ryebreadgf // sue zhao // rvbhleo // osamu dazai // ojibwa // ashstfu // anna ahkmatova // trista mateer // margaret atwood // unknown // mahmoud darwish // ocean vuong // yves olade // unknown // ocean vuong // lucille clinton // fleabag

[text IDs: Image 1: AroarA, #6: “that the house is slowly on fire / that the house is slowly on fire // and I can't get you to leave it / and I can't get you to leave it // and I can't leave without you / and I can't leave without you”

Image 2: june gehringer, I love you, it looks like rain: “the worst part of love is / that I remember it. // I walk around all day thinking: I'm going to die in the universe you loved me in. // I get so jealous of euthanized dogs.“

Image 3: sue zhao: He asks: “"how do I get over somebody I never had?" And says: // I did not love you but I almost did. At one time, I might have loved you - at least, I felt I might have. If you were never loved by me, then nevertheless you were lovable to me. Last night I dreamt that your head lay on my stomach and traced the rise and fall of my breath. It felt complete natural - even though I knew once, we had left each other. Even though I knew we had wounded each other. In the dream state, forgiveness comes easily. I never loved you but I almost did. There are days when the breadth of ambiguity feels much worse. There are days I wish I would have loved you so I would know how to stop.

Image 4: ashstfu, tumblr: “girls vs getting over anythings thats ever happened to them in their life”

Image 5: ryebreadgf, tumblr: “YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK! YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK! YOU CAN BITE AND SCRATCH AND BEG BUT YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK!”

Image 6: sue zhao: “How often are you violent against yourself? Does it horrify you? Can you stop? Do you want to? And if you did, would you know how to?”

the last three sentences spanning from “Can you stop?” to “would you know how to?” have been underlined in blue

Image 7: rvbhleo, all caps: “WHAT IS THE POINT OF LUKEWARM LOVE? IF IM NOT DROWNING IN IT I HAVE NO DESIRE FOR IT”

Image 8: osamu dazai, no longer human, highlighted in pink: “the wound has gradually become dearer to me than my own flesh and blood”

Image 9: ojibwa, tumblr: “Grieving, grieving, constantly grieving./I mourn what could have been, what will not be, what I can't save.”

Image 10: ashstfu, tumblr: sometimes getting over something is accepting you will never get over it”

Image 11: anna ahkmatova, parting: “I am very calm. Only do not talk to me about him.”

Image 12: margaret atwood, more and more: “there is no reason for this, only a starved dog’s logic on bones”

Image 13: unknown, all caps: “OTHER BOYS ARE BORING AND YOU ARE A BURNING HOUSE I WANT TO LIVE IN”

Image 14: mahmoud darwish, formatted as if in dialogue between two people: “ -Do you have any weapons on you?” “-I have a longing that's killing me.” 

the second sentence is highlighted in yellow

Image 15: trista mateer, honeybee: “I've gotten so good/about not flinching at the sound of your name/that people don't know I'd still throw myself/mouth-open into the ocean/for the chance to drown somewhere you might see it.“

Image 16: yves olade, bloodsport: “All that/matters is that you want to hurt me. // All that matters is that you want me/Say the word & I'll burn for ten days.”

Image 17: unknown, all caps: “LETS GO TO THE GARDEN./LETS BE KIDS AGAIN./I’LL CHASE YOU IF YOU CHASE ME.”

Image 18: ocean vuong, on earth we’re briefly gorgeous, highlighted in yellow: “When does a war end? When can I say vour name and have it mean only your name and not what you left behind?”

Image 19: lucille clifton, climbing: “maybe i should have wanted less./maybe i should have ignored the bowl in me/burning to be filled./maybe i should have wanted less.”

Image 20: fleabag, season 2 episode 6: a screenshot of the priest looking at fleabag, captioned, “It’ll pass.” below]

[brothersonahotelbed]

HIIII NICO THE MOST PERFECT PERSON ON THE PLANET OMGG HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

ASH !!!!!!!!!! THE MOST PERFECT AND GORGEOUS AND LOVELY PERSON IN OUR GALAXY HIIIIII <333333 i've been okay, mostly just exhausted from work+school BUT i've been immersing myself in the most beautiful media lately that's reinstated my will to live <33 i watched i saw the tv glow and lisa frankenstein & the first season of buffy (for the first time) and i'm reading the sandman graphic novels by neil gaiman and it's all so beautiful right now . what's new in ash's world how are you doing i love you <3 <3 <3 <3

[soracities]

mim i love your tag heavy nonsense <3! here a pastry for you 🍰

ash you darling splitting this over a cup of tea w you 🫖🍵

[userzade]

omg @ashstfu hi i love ur account

[springsteens]

absolutely love that you don’t even know what a colleen hoover is LOL !! anyways hii hello what’s your fave read of 2023?

hiiii omg THE ICONIC ash in my inbox 🥺🫣

tbh I probably don't know who she is because I'm not American but to be honest I don't know much about new books coming out overall especially those popular ones that you can buy in every supermarket 🥴

favourite read of 2023? 🤔 hmmm... I finally read Dracula and I adored it. 🥰 I also loved two Polish books about the history of my country's society – about the peasants who lived like slaves and about their masters aka upper class. I also read a lot of Susan Sontag's essays and I adored them but it's hard to choose just one book out of them all. I was also crazy about Wuthering Heights after finally reading it but I'm not sure if it was the beginning of this year or the end of the 2022... 🤔 the website I'm using for saving books doesn't track the time. what about you? 💗

[plushiebi]

omg hiii sorry to barge in, i know i just followed you but i absolutely adore the whole vibe of your blog. so so incredibly warm and sweet like honey bear-shaped bottles... worn leather-bound journals ... & the scent of the ocean breeze from a coastal village (fresh, warm, welcoming, etc!) hope u have a lovely day <3

this is the SWEETEST THING !!!!! thank u so much, i’m so glad you’re here !! this was such a warm & kind msg to send thank u sm ☹️😭

[hotgirlmeg]

pregnant money chocolate 💀 LISA

STOP 😭 i'm rebuking the first one. be gone!! 🌀

[officialkendallroy]

HIIII sab! happy fall love the new theme, so so excited for halloween!! 🎃

ASHIIIIEEE im just seeing this now but happy fall ❣️❣️❣️ i hope youre having pumpkin soup and crunchy leaves and some nice weather 💞

[libraryfag]

I LOVE U BASIL <3 FOREVER

ASH I LOVE YOU FOREVER TOO <3 <3 <3

us ^^^

[hrina]

STFU YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE I HAVE EVER LAID MY EYES UPON!!!!! CHANGE THAT POLL

this is how im picturing u in my inbox rn:

[brothersonahotelbed]

NICOOOOO I MISS YOU HOW ARE YOUU OMGGGG

AASSHH HEY GIRLL <33

I've been doing well recently !! I was kind of consumed by the real world for a little bit and was really really enjoying my distance from social media/the internet.. but then my chemical romance became the most important thing in my life again so I'm more online these days but still, things are goodd!! I've been writing a lot, mostly poetry but also working on some chapters of a novel I have to piece together for my novel writing class. Stressful, but ultimately rewarding because I love love love love writing <3 also I started reading The Witch's Heart by Genevieve Gornichec and it has revived my faith in mythology-based fantasy novels. Cool weather is finally here, my semester ends in a few weeks, like... things are looking up I really think! How are you?? Hope you're taking care of yourself, much love to you as always <33333

[folkfreaks]

HIIIII NELLY I LOVE YOU! KISS KISS <3

ASH !!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU BRIGHTEN MY DAY 🌞🌞🌞

[ahsteria]

HIIII HAPPY BIRTHDAY! VIRGO TWIN :)

TYYYY YAAA VIRGO TWIN

[pascalthechameleon]

hiii kai <3 what are ur top 3 fave movies of all time :) i need recs !

Ash, I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life, so I hope you’ll excuse if I elaborate a bit on your ask. “Little Miss Sunshine”, “Fantastic Mr. Fox”, “The Darjeeling Unlimited”, “My Neighbour Toronto”, etc., are all movies I consider some of my favourites of all time, but a quick check of your letterboxd confirms that you’ve watched all of those already. 

The following movies I highly recommend and didn’t see on your letterboxd:

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

La La Land 

Little Women

Beautiful Boy 

Midnight in Paris

Princess Mononoke

Everything, Everywhere All at Once 

The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 

Punch-Drunk Love 

Good Will Hunting 

Head Full of Honey (the original version from 2014 - made me bawl my eyes out when I was seven, and still to this day, I can’t watch it without crying. However, there’s no English audio available, and I’m not sure if that might negatively impact the viewing experience.) 

The Edge of Seventeen

I think if I continue to add more, I'll never stop and it'll just be this endless list of movies, which won't really be much help to you, I think. But if I think of another really important one, I'll tell you!!

Anyway, if you do decide to watch one of the movies, please please please tell me what you thought!! Thank you and goodnight :)

[soracities]

hiii ❣️1, 3 & 14 for the ‘3 things’ asks!

14. 3 professions that you would like to try

ooh!!! absolutely landscape gardener, microbiologist, proofreader !!

[springsteens]

HOW DO YOU SEND A SUPER BOOP I AM SENDING YOU A KISS IN RETURN BTW 💋👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

you do it on desktop and have to hold the purple boop feature on your dash until it starts spinning 💜 sending you a kiss, too! 🥰 you can spam me with boops to get the badges if you want (everyone can lol)