#ashe voice will we dont have a time player

[a-cat-in-toffee]

william read homestuck and classpected his friends

[vaugarde]

this is gonna sound so backhanded but after 3 letdowns in a row from pokemon (followed by a game which isnt terrible but i dislike because of how much it fucked up the plot of sm), then a game that i genuinely really love and want more in the style of and largely because of how it deviates from the main series, im genuinely so shocked that i love scarlet and violet as much as i do. like when i was going through that tutorial i was just cautious and waiting for the other show to drop and be bored at best, but like, graphic glitches aside, it never came. it stayed really fun and charming

[cogmented]

how do you come up with your designs for mcyt’s? theyre so creative and cool so i thought id ask

THANK YOU AND THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTION

now entering yap city tihs will be a long post

my steps are basically

voice

personality

og look of minecraft skin/branding

player movement

other ppls fanart (if any)

things that happened/cultural associations

i start with a bunch of random sketches to get the feel of the person.. that's why so many of my early posts were doodle pages. to me, character design is more based on what the person is like rather than what they look like. i think a lot of people do that

I do this with all of the above and shape language, but in bigger art pieces outside of lineups i also use color and perspective (as in youll see more of someone like spepticle in large, sweeping scenes while someone like zam in closed, heavily perspective-based ones) to indicate personality. ill change designs when suited for this too (spoke with or without a gas mask, vi with or without a mouth, etc etc)

my first iteration of lifesteal designs heavily relied on the look of the skins and were gradually tweaked over time. my most prominent example of this is my spoke design, so i'll use him at least once in the examples for continuous comparison.

i watch a couple of each person's videos first, understand their voice, personality, and what they do, then focus on them in other people's videos too to get a full story, their movement, and what others think of them (helps with personality and things we might not see). streams are the most helpful because they're less biased and you see so much more of their antics. huge stream fan.

i get into the how after this

this process doesnt go in order for some designs and others have a more prominent focus on particular parts of the process that override or effect other parts

Voice

starting off with not spoke here's a problem i encountered when designing wemmbu

I based him a lot off of spoke and ashswag due to not knowing much about him besides the fact that he schemes (spoke&ash-esque) and he doesn't move his character around too much when talking (ash behavior). he didn't match the left one because his voice doesn't have the dramatic, flamboyant fratboy flair that spoke has, so I shifted it to be more friendly yet still dangerous with curved square shapes rather than triangles. i made his scheming, diabolical nature more evident through his clothing that's pretty jester-like and sharp, but with a smoother middle that spoke doesn't have (and to match his eyes).

voice also impacts character height. i dont know how to describe this. mapicc and zam are similar heights because their voices are similar, same goes for parrot and vortex, but leo and vitalasy are close to the same height (due to vitalasy's huge fuckass ears) despite having wildly different voices, with leo's bold text voice and vitalasy's higher-pitched jumbled kinda speech they still take up the same "amount of space" in conversation. they stand out. and even though spoke's voice also stands out an incredible amount he is still only slightly taller than average. this is where personality overrides voice in my designs.

Personality

spoke is sharp in every sense of the word, but is also able to mold himself around to get what he needs.

my first attempt at him was pretty lackluster. i didn't know much of him at the time, only his wither video, and thus understood him mainly through his association with parrot. he seemed a lot more evil and more serious at first glance. like woah! fully fledged mouth and nose?! not anymore.

i cover certain expressive parts to also depict more of their personality in some abstract, holistic way. after watching streams and whatnot, spoke doesnt actually speak (excluding his random sounds and yips or whatever he does) too terribly much, except when the spotlight is on him or he's trying to get something. so, i tweaked his design to encompass that when i understood him better.

i take away his arms to allow his hands to stand out more (character movement thing, he moves around a lot when no one is paying attention to him, punches the air when ..not talking but making a point ig. he's a big fan of hovering menacingly), i give him a slinky-like outside skeletal structure to both capture his affinity for withers (i made him a wither thing because of the wither sounds in his video.. and the withers in general) and to give him the feeling of more freedom with his movement.

i also just really like gas masks so. basically, spoke is someone that hides away until he chooses to stand out. thank lord heaven he looks like some shadow creature.

later on i gave him more magenta highlights, especially in the wormhole era because 1. magenta wasnt heavily included in his rainbow look, making it stand out on his whole being, and 2. because magenta is really really cool and people should use it more.

og minecraft skin/branding

hi spokeis here. this will be quick because his branding is so heavy. lightning, rainbow, black. boom. character. withers and white eyes? easy. causes a lot of anarchy? again, lightning and withers.

planetlord on the other hand is someone i greatly differed from the og skin and branding. i saw the design in a vision idk. i shift his colors all the time in different pieces but i use more of his pfp colors now because there's too many purples in this world. his branding, personality, and voice all connect very well. a bit misleading, he's a bit of a weasel.

Movement

i never used to look into movement, but pvp styles and conversational movement of lifesteal is intriguing. unfortunately it was only something i started paying attention to during the end of s4 because vitalasy's movement was so interesting. he's a big fan of getting in people's faces.

ill be real, i didn't really notice spoke a lot during things because he was almost always never alone, and when he was it is always at a distance or you knew he had people to back him up.

spoke's movement isn't actually too abnormal. he's goal oriented and tends to always be doing something, and when he does he finds the most efficient way possible. pretty basic. his design choices are based mainly on voice and personality.

someone like mapicc on the other hand has very particular movement. he spins around people when fighting and gets right up in their face (in nethpot pvp mostly), so i made his clothing tighter to the skin with looser parts to accentuate that movement: practical clothing for close combat battles. it was also noticed (by the lord) that he tends to look straight forward instead of the slightly down that most players do.

zam fights differently, but i made him with the og branding (he's princezam) and what he does in mind. his body language in my art is more indicative of his personality.

Other people's fanart

shoutout the community, a notable amount of ideas were from the mid-late 2022 lifesteal community.

dog leowook and leather jacket mapicc were from gen, jackalope rek from aoi i think, "croptop" jacket spoke from saints-blade, snail terrain from navy-leader, tv ashswag from kish, sock puppet red definitely from someone i dont remember, 4 armed squiddo from seri, and old cartoon jaron was from bucket

Things that happened/istarted talking about cultural inspirations

spoke and his connection to godhood influenced his redesign greatly. this section affects what the character wears most of the time.

i give both spoke and vitalasy painted palms (alta) due to their connection with godhood and destruction, with spoke in particular reminding me a lot of Kali Ma, thus i gave him a skirt (due to nppp too). vitalasy's clothing is based on Indonesian cultural clothing. wemmbu's also takes inspiration from Indonesian and Bhutan cultural clothing.

indigenous cultures inspired some designs too (i do a lot of ethnographic anthropology work with some of the tribes i base the clothing off of), with woogie having Yupik and Inuit inspiration. polar bear = cold climate in my head. and leo has Haida and Yunnan (minority Chinese providence, not a tribe) inspiration.

bacon's... not bacon strip design's clothing was based on Bangladeshi clothing (im Bangladeshi, i also added alpona patterns to ash's design), nomadic cultures, and some german pilgrim thing?? idk not my best design. i specifically looked for nomadic inspiration because of his willingness to flee at any moment lol. i didnt do this for rek despite his fleeing reputation because i dont watch rek content too much and he already had hybrid traits that took care of that presentation.

poafa's design is a goat because of the medusa trials where he was used as a scapegoat. makes sense i think. his horns are from past associations with jepex that infected mapicc as well (devil trio s1). zam's design is very much from s3 empire and s4 castle.

planet's design changed slightly, mostly rounder shapes, but also the number of "spikes" on his scarf, now stuck at three because of 3ht.. and easier to draw than five. minutetech has a bow instead of a bowtie from jumper due to s5 happenings. the gem on his crown has wemmbu's highlights from his gem's main color.

roshambo's design was also heavily influenced by medusa where i gave him a snake body. in my art that depicts before medusa events he doesn't have the snake body, and same goes with before s4 spoke where i draw him with full pants. in some sketches ive depicted mapicc with a muzzle only after the destruction of s4 spawn due to quix's mapicc dog influence shoutout.

mapicc and ro have matching things that persist seasons (mapicc periwinkle collar, ro red painted ring finger... head finger?), as did subz and vitalasy with matching shoulder pads (beginning of s4 subz had a bandana and vitalasy had a bell that traded between them through artworks of mine) Vitalasy also gained sun and moon earrings. mid and 4c have matching hoods/cloaks ^_^ marriage or something.

hope this made sense and covered everything you could have ever wanted forever... feel free to ask me questions i love explaining processes

[mealstrom0]

Why jerry (you know which one) is a legend

(MAJOR SPOLIERS CANT STRESS ENOUGH, LISTEN TO THIS MASTERPEICE OF A PODCAST BEFORE READING) JERK-OFF JERRY, thats his title given to him to many just a man others a friend but to most..... a pervert, to himself anyways. Now form that alone your thinking 'why is this man important' and thats where i come in to fuel your brain of this man and his acsent to legendhood. Jerry started in the podcast as a side chracter who was created for one purpose jerk off jokes. And for a long time he was just another member to eventually die to a bad roll of the death chart until, the wood arc. without getting into to many spoilers the wood arc is when everyone is stuck in the cursed woods.

Now in the wood arc we cut to some of the crew including. our boy Jerry, plyph (i know thats not how you spell it so he will be called soup boy), Carlos, and then it gets weird because the first time around bathroom berry and nodoze were with the sqaud but Nodoze ended up dozing and nowehere near the group and berry was mistaken for a martial arts guy (cant remember names TIRED). The squad goes through the forest trying to find the ship when our boy JERRY brings out a hand compass (in his hand) and leads the way.

When they get to the uhuru its over run but flora and fauna mostly snakes. Jerry comes in clutch again by (dies of laughter) well speacil skills with much practice. He eventually gets on the ship as well as the rest of the sqaud and helps people break free of their slumber. This my readers is where the legend dies, while saving someone his arm gets bitten by a snake his (sobs) jerking off arm then his other arm, then his legs.........then his crotch. He then falls out a porthole into the wood where he is put to rest in the dirt of where he stood. ashes to ashes, nuts to nuts.

The funerel is small as many didnt like JOJerry but those who were mounred his rightoues death with gifts to keep him occupied in the afterlife.

Now he doesnt seem thaaaat speacil but he is. You see Jhonny O'mara is a long member of campaign and player of the much beloved Travis Matago left that arc. Travis himself did not die but Jhonny voiced you guessed it JOJerry. Jerrys death was the death of Jhonny leaving the podcast (whether he likes it or not) and theres nothing that can change my mind. Our Jerry gave us another reason to let go of Travis and Jhonny for his chracter death did happen, in Jerry.

BUT THATS NOT ALL, The uhuru's crew is free no matter what their idea of freedom is they have it or captian orimar vale helps them find their freedom. JOJerry had freedom to do what he loved wherever he wanted where in other places it would be deemed well inapporite. Just has Nodoze has freedom to rope and travel, as Gable has freedom of no job and getting to have a family, as Dref had the freedom to experiment, as wendyell has freedom to get married (OOF) and pillage, Jerk off jerry was just as free as them and was a head on repersantation of that freedom of whatever freedom is.

JOJerry helped us understand the crew and let go and for that he will be remebered. TAKE FLIGHT JERRY.

(This is all a big meme btw i dont support this behavior or what he did at all but he is a good example of the morals of the uhuru just MUCH more perverted than what it really is)

[genlirema]

Character ask meme:

Eusine

and Morty !!

Character Ask Meme (Accepting)

Eusine

What I love about them: God I wish I had even half of the drive & ambition (and energy) this man has to chasing his dreams he’s like Sonic but less cocky and more free-willed & i don’t think I can remember any other Pokemon character being this excited over just the slight chance of achieving their goals c’:

What I hate about them: It’s been a long while since I played SoulSilver but I didn’t find him creepy/stalker-like at all like the fandom likes to assume…? So I don’t really hate him for anything ._.;

Favorite Moment/Quote: Still cry over the fact that he congratulates you if you successfully catch Suicune. Man could’ve said nothing or told you off for crushing his dream but he decided to thank you instead for the chance to meet Suicune what did we do to deserve this man ;-;

What I would like to see more focus on: I do find it kinda weird that only Suicune gets the focus and not any other Legendary Beast…? We don’t get any context for why Eusine is only focused on Suicune specifically instead of the other two so that might’ve been cool to see i guess ._.; (I mean we kinda sorta got a special episode with Raikou I think but idk I don’t think that counts)

What I would like to see less focus on: Why did they make Eusine yell at Ash. I mean…I get why (kid basically claimed to see the gay chicken god but Eusine wasn’t having it) but why c’: (he never yelled at the player in-game so I see the anime Eusine as very ooc)

Favorite pairing with: Morty x Eusine! (Sacredshipping) but sometimes Jasmine x Eusine too (I think it’s called Simpleshipping…? Kinda basic if you ask me :P but still cute ^-^)

Favorite friendship: Guzma & Steven Stone. Guzma cuz of my oc phase (where basically my oc was friends with a bunch of Pokemon characters & became a crime-fighting team i dont care if its cringe shut up). Steven because I can see these two accidentally/coincidentally running into each other a bunch of times for them to eventually meet up & eventually become travelling buddies.

NOTP: …nobody ships him with Suicune right? …Right?

Favorite headcanon: I still like to think he’s a waterbender who learned from his uncle (which is the dude in Celadon City that can only be accessed through Surf). I mean…it gives further context for why he’s searching for Suicune specifically, plus I doubt any of his Pokemon know Surf either & it’d be kinda hard to chase a water deity if you don’t know how to use Surf yourself ._.;

Morty

What I love about them: He was the only male Ghost Gym Leader until the shy guy kid from Galar came along & stole his title :c in all seriousness tho I think he has the best character design out of all the Ghost Type Gym Leaders, even the Gen 4 design wasn’t too on the nose (like Agatha or the shy guy kid again, yeah yeah I know his name but i never played Sword/Shield so i’m not using it) or too obtrusive (Fantina…) Also his voice actor’s AMAZING and very underrated I wish people knew about Andrew Rannells more :c

What I hate about them: The Gen 4 design was still kinda pushing it as far as Ghost Gym Leader aesthetic goes & I still like his Gen 2/Anime design better but that’s just me :/ (also he killed my starter on my nuzlocke run when i was 11 ;-;)

Favorite Moment/Quote: I love the part in the anime where Ash asks: “wait you can talk to/understand Ghost Pokemon how?” And Morty just immediately answers “Practice.” (Also again thank you Andrew Rannels for the way the line was delivered I can’t do it justice but it’s like he saying “uuuh how do you do anything Ash huh?” xD)

What I would like to see more focus on: I don’t really see much of a problem with how he’s portrayed in game and/or the anime actually! True, more screen time and/or backstory is greatly appreciated for his interest in Ho-oh (at least in game, the anime is fine) but for what we got, I’m glad we had a Gym Leader who actually paid attention to/studied the mythos of the region for once instead of just being generic miniboss no. 14 (it might’ve been kinda cool to see his clairvoyance used more like in the manga but idk how that would work ._.;)

What I would like to see less focus on: idk he doesn’t get much screen time so there’s not much i can say about him that wasn’t needed…? Unlike Eusine, Morty’s initial attitude towards Ash (dismissing his claims about rainbow birb) made sense for his character (because he didn’t yell at him) but I guess if anyone was going to give Ash a hard time it should’ve been Morty, not Eusine. (Though this would’ve made for some annoying/petty/unnecessary drama so I can’t complain ._.;)

Favorite pairing with: Eusine (Sacredshipping) & Steven Stone (Knightshipping I think…? idk the pokeship list is a mess) Morty & Eusine both hold a special place in my heart for being the first Pokemon characters I liked (and for fueling the oc dream team I mentioned earlier) but I can also see some chemistry with Steven too! They can be chill together c:

Favorite friendship: uuuh does frenemies count cuz I still think Yellowjacket (Guzma x Morty) is the best Guzma ship I’ve come up with yet, platonic or otherwise (though I see them more as frenemies than lovers) I can also see AZ & Morty being close friends too…? idk i just want my top two favs to be buddies & share stories about their history and legendaries together 🥺

NOTP: I used to see Falkner x Morty EVERYWHERE on deviantart and it was very yabai 😬 (though hopefully that’s changed now…? It was less about the characters themselves & more about how they were portrayed…shota…)

Favorite headcanon: because I have been sucked into a new fandom hell I like to think Morty is Keito Hasumi’s uncle and I’ve been meaning to recreate my old dead rp blog just to write about their dynamic but he basically taught Keito everything he knows about music (and possibly magic) and was basically Keito’s second dad (since his real dad is probably too busy working as a monk) and no this totally isn’t just another way for me to put two of my fav characters together whaddya talking about (also the fact that both of these characters have the voices of an angel seriously go look up Andrew Rannells and Yuichiro Umehara right now they are too good for this world ;-;)

[oven-coven]

HIYA my friend @ramen-juice and i been playing overwatch 2 religiously for the past week and so we made sum redacted overwatch main headcanons😼

david - mains reaper, rein and roadie, unreasonably aggressive, will not play support, hates the arcade and events, exclusively plays quick play bc it doesnt have “all that extra shit”

ash - has countless hours of d.va and lucio, but is a pretty versatile player, rly good at 3v3

milo - sojourn or cassidy, cannot play support, gets stressed out too easily💀 loved junkenstein’s revenge, and slayd as cassidy during the event, was kinda bummed when they changed it this year

vincent - zen and ashe, maybe genji, he’ll interact with the character voice lines out loud💀 like if hes playing ashe, when she yells “bob, do smtn” he mumbles “theres no need to yell” or “dont yell at him”

sam - probs someone basic like soldier or baptiste, def played practice vs ai for a while

hux - support main, mostly kiriko and ana, not competitive at all, just wants to have a good time, super supportive in voice chat

damien - ANNOYINGLY AGGRESSIVE, RELENTLESS MOIRA, WILL NOT HEAL JUST ATTACK and maybe pharah or sigma too, but hes so scary to play against

lasko - tracer, like a rly good tracer, plays echo too, but fl and the guys def took away his mic, that man is a nervous rambler, would cry if he had to play support (hes just like me fr)

gav - either junker queen, doomfist or widow only bc he thinks they’re hot, is actually rly good, but chooses to run around squating on corpses and wrecking shit on the map

caelum - probably a clueless symmetra, first character he saw on character select and thought she looked cool, gets potg A LOT on accident bc of his turrets he didnt mean to place while hes falling off the map somewhere

guy - h a m p t e r (me when i run out of characters in 3v3)

geordi - brigette or mei, hes kinda bad at it, but he has a good time💀

slander🕺🏻

elliot - sombra, just gets booped or pinned off the map

blake - genji, will not survive longer than 45 seconds

ivan - torb, annoying, rage quits

ollie - “plays bastion bc hes a little bitch” - sienna

aaron - winston, cannot ult correctly

marcus - mercy, cant heal bc hes too busy dying and respawning (me🧍🏻)

“justice for bob 2022” - vincent solaire

WHAT IS THAT MELODY🗣️🗣️

[strawbxrryneptune]

HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT

You're the head cheerleader at UA.

We're gonna say its UA university, so like class 4-A.

Bakugou is your boyfriend

He plays on the football team 😫

But he got suspended for a little because he saw Deku (yes I'm adding Deku in this, @ me why dont you)

Deku plays on the rival team, he switched schools cause he felt like he wasnt reaching his full potential.

Bakugou basically broke Deku's mf leg, it's a surprise he wasnt kicked off the team, but the he's the star player.

The only reason the UA football team is even in the nationals is cause of Bakugou.

Anyway, Kiri and Sero were roasting the absolute shit outta him for getting suspended.

"PLEASE- HE COULDN'T EVEN KEEP THE BEST SPOT ON THE TEAM KEKEKEK"

*LMAO* "DAMN BAKUBRO, YOU GOT FLAMED"

Bakugou was ready to blast all their asses to the moon and back, until Denki said that he probably couldnt even keep a spot on the cheer squad, it's even more brutal than football and the outfits are too risque.

It went dead silent when poor bby said that, cause everyone knew not to challenge Bakugou.

He immediately stood up from his spot on the couch in the study hall, marching over to Denki and grabbing him by the collar.

"More brutal than football? Hah, you're out of your goddamn mind, Sparky. I can do that shit anyday, even in that girly ass skirt."

Denki smirked

"Wanna bet?"

And that's how he found himself wearing a custom made UA cheer uniform, face red in embarrassment but still determined to not chicken out. If he got through this, he'd get $50 from everyone in the squad except for Mina

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

When Bakugou had come to you, red in the face and hands shaking in embarrassment, asking for a cheer uniform, you almost passed out in shock.

The Katsuki Bakugou, star Football player, top of his class in strength and brains, wanted to cheer? Nah, you were buggin. He wouldn't tell you why, only a harsh, "You gonna give me the uniform or not?" Before giving you a quick and kind of violent kiss on the cheek, scampering off with the bright orange fabric in his hands.

Leading up to the big game for the finals, he would hang around during practice and watch you command the girls, having them jump and twist into complicated positions. You spot him peeping and called him over, teasingly asking him if he could do a cartwheel, not expecting him to actually do one. He has almost perfect form, a little wobbly on the drop down but beautiful nonetheless. You pursed your lips, looking him up and down before clapping your hands loudly, causing him to jump.

"Change of plans, ladies! We now have a new member joining the team, at least for the game next week. I'll need you to be understanding and patient in teaching him the routine, and no making fun!!"

The other girls nod understandingly, surrounding him despite his yells and protests.

You smirk to yourself.

This is gonna be so much fun.

♡♡

A week passes, and you're in the changing room with the girls, handing out their uniforms. You get to the bottom of the bin, and realize theres a pantsuit. You widen your eyes in shock. If the pantsuit is in there, than that means-

"Y/N IM GOING TO KILL YOU"

Shit.

You jog out of the locker rooms, looking around until you see a shaking head of ash blonde hair. You make your way over to him, stifling a laugh when you see him wearing large sweats, the outline of the orange skirt peeking out. He doesnt have a sweatshirt on, so you're blessed with the sight of his pecs and abs bulging out, sweat already dripping down his body due to the heat of the stadium and the embarrassment racking his body.

"I'm so sorry, Katsu. I didnt realize I gave you the girl version of the uniform."

He scoffs, subconsciously reaching up to tug at the crop top.

"Just get me the damn boy version, you shitty-"

"ALRIIIGHT EVERYONE, ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE!!"

You both jump at the sound of the announcers voice, the crowd roaring back.

"WELL THEN GET READY, FOLKS. WE HAVE A WONDERFUL PREFORMANCE FROM THE UA CHEER SQAUD. GIVE EM A HAND."

You look at Bakugou in apology, before rushing the girls out, gesturing for him to hurry as you run out onto the field, the UA side cheering loudly while the rival team boos. Bakugou let's out a huff, shoving his sweats down and running out with you, not looking up. The minute the crowd sees him running with you, the stadium fills with laughter and wolf whistles, some of his teammates fanning themselves in mockery. He growls at them, intimidating but not scary due to the bright orange crop top and skirt he's donning.

The music starts and everyone gets into formation, Bakugou at the far right and you at the left. You start to do your routine, shaking your hips and yelling along to the music, moving around and doing flips. You form a pyramid, Bakugou on the base and you somewhat in the middle. The top girl flips off, does a twirl in the sir and lands in front of you, shouting the UA cheer before you all follow suit, cheering on your team while shimmying around. You turn to see how Bakugou is doing during the end, and the sight that greets you is heaven;

He's heaving for hair, sweat slicking down his hair and dripping down his abs, the skirt flowing and moving along with his thick thigh, which tremble from exertion. He's panting hard, eyebrows furrowed as he tries to nail a pose, wobbling slightly. You gulp hard, shaking your head to clear the thoughts starting to surface, thoughts of fucking him in that uniform, sucking his cock from under the skirt, riding him in your uniform, lifting the hem to see where you're connected. Ripping the crop top to see his puffy nipples, making him moan and tremble underneath you from the pleasure, calling him a cute little slut for wearing that little piece of fabric.

You break from your thought when the music cuts out, roars and screams deafening, even the opposing team cheering for you and the beefy man in the skirt.

You all bow and trot off the center felikd, making your way to the benches you drink water before the team starts playing. Bakugou makes his way over to you, gulping down water from his bottle. Some of it spills out his mouth, rolling down his throat, scattering when his Adam's apple bobs. It makes a trail into the swell of his pecs, disappearing. You look up his body slowly, face heating in embarrassment when you meet his eyes, a cocky smirk on his face when he realizes you were ogling him.

"Ya see sumthin' you want, Baby?"

You grit your teeth at him, grabbing his collar and dragging him off into the space between the bleachers.

He sputters at you when you reach under his skirt and grab the barely concealed bugle there, smirking up at him.

"See sumthin you want, Baby?"

You taunt, rubbing him through the fabric of his boxers.

He groans from above you, muttering out a breathy "Its from adrenaline-"

Before pushing his lips against yours, sucking your lip into his mouth while his hips stutter against your hands. You pull away, grinning when you see him chase your lips.

"Are you sure it's from adrenaline, or is it cause you were prancin around out there like some pretty little whore, hm?"

Bakugou clenches his eyes shut, blushing hard and growling low in his throat.

"Shut the fuck up. I didnt do it for that-"

"Well you still did it, and you looked so good, too, 'Suki. Wanted to suck your cock the whole time."

He whimpers at that, hips moving forward to push against your hand more, pre leaking out and making his boxers sticky against your palm.

"Mm, you like that? Like me praising you? Calling you a good boy and telling you how much I wanted your fat cock shoved down my throat? "

His head falls against your shoulder, moaning into the side of your neck as his balls tighten, cum soaking his boxers and dripping out onto your hand. You lick up his neck, making him shudder.

"There you go, pretty boy."

♡♡

When the game is over, he stomps over to the squad, snatching their money aggressively before making him way back to you, scowling when you land a harsh smack against his ass.

"Is it just me, or is Bakugou glowing?"

♡♡♡

@hanji-is-life your Bakugou in a skirt inspired me to write this Bakugou in a skirt.

Masterlist

[seancekitsch]

Out of the Rain: a Marko x Reader fic

Warnings: bloodplay goes without saying bc vamp, rough sex, dirty talk, semi public sex, telepathy?? me projecting my music taste on this fic again. drug use, fast and loose use of vampire lore bc when i write i am god and u cannot stop me. also can u tell i have like…. v clear descriptions of the setting like i used to work at the place im describing but its not in california

No one had come in for hours. What's the point of staying open? You dim some of the lights in the store, which is one of three head shops in Santa Carla, but the only one open late. You're not really sure why this is the only store that stays open, why everyone else if worried about the three am walk back to their car on a weekend night. You've never seen anything of suspicion, just sometimes that biker gang watches people shuffle out. That was almost comforting, though. People didn't like those guys, so no one would make you use your switchblade if they were around.

The bright while fluorescent lights of your typical daytime ambiance faded away, and now green light bathes you in the “mood” lighting your boss thought was a good idea. The green lighting reflects off of the glass counters, shining it back at the ceiling and making everything that much more green. It fits, you think with the overall vibe of the store. The stale scent of weed, gently and miserably covered up by some nag champa incense, always burning in at least four different spots within the store. You'd long since gotten used to the smoke in your eyes. The music does everything to add to the ambiance. You always have full control of the music in the shop, usually because no one else is willing to take the night shift in Santa Carla. In fact, most of the boardwalk shops had a revolving door of night shift workers. You never got why, something clearly spooks them that does not spook you. Whether that makes you brave or stupid, you dont know. Jefferson Airplane’s Surrealistic Pillow pumps through the speakers in the store. But I suppose no one knows, you're my plastic fantastic lover.

The rain batters the boardwalk outside, a roar much different than the typical hustle and bustle of drunk teens, of the cliques and crews that come in and out; the few that sit and snicker in the doorway, never entering. Some too afraid to be associated with the implication of being spotted in the shop. We sell jewelry and vinyl too, you always say, when they balk at the idea of being in the same room as a bong or incense.

But then there's the other group that stands and idles in the threshold, also not entering. It's that biker gang. Four guys, a girl, a kid. Maybe he’s the brat of the girl and the one who takes himself too seriously, but maybe not. She looks too young for that. They'd been hovering around quite a bit lately, always after dark. You’d spoken to them, at least the ones that are talkative. The hair metal wannabe and the cute short one. Paul and Marko. You knew the dark haired one was Dwayne, but all he ever offered you was a curt nod and a tight lipped smile, respectful but indifferent. They're nice, not worth the spooky reputation they have. Any time it's not just you at the shop, your boss tries to spook them away. Good thing your boss isn't here tonight, because one of them is prowling around the storefront in the rain. That is, if it's not your spliff induced haze playing tricks on you.

No, one of them is out there. Without his little pack. The cute one. Marko.

You walk over to the door, which you haven't had propped open since the rain trickled in as a drizzle at the beginning of your shift. At least he had enough sense to be huddling under the awning. Fuck, he’s handsome even when he looks like a drowned rat.

“What are you doing out here?” You scrunch up your nose as you ask.

“Y’know, waiting for you to show up.” Wanted a look at that cute ass.

You blink at him. Did he really just say that?

“Okay… well, you know it's raining out there, right?”

“I might,” he offers noncommittally, eyeing the spliff still in the hand that's not holding the door. If it were anyone but him, you'd probably get fired for it.

Why is he just hanging around out here? That's hella weird. His curls are getting matted to his forehead, slick with rain, his jacket starting to look a little sad.

“C’mon in, Marko. It’s too wet out here. You’ll fuck up your jacket.” You nod towards the interior of the shop holding the door open as he passes you.

Wrong move, sweet cheeks.

“What did you say?” What did he mean, wrong move?

“I didn't say anything,” he offers nonchalantly as he thumbs at one of the tapestries on the wall. A garish mess that’s supposed to be the worm from Alice in Wonderland, but it’s distorted by a botched tie dye job of dark muddy colors. Every time you look at it, you assume one of the day workers did it.

“No, you said something.”

“Do you want me to say something?” there's both a threat and an innuendo in his tone. Maybe you do, but you just laugh, a sharp exhale through your nose, and bring the spliff to your lips again as he follows you deeper into the store.

You jump up onto the counter next to the ash tray, easy reach for each time you need to ash.

“So why are you really here?” your eyes narrow at him, kicking your sandal off on the floor where it lands a few inches from his boots. He looks uneasy in the space, like for all the wild shit you assume he’s into, he might not actually belong in it. He sways a little to the music, perfectly in tune with the rhythm. You sway along too, and suddenly he fills the space like he belongs. He just needed someone along for the ride with him.

“Do you ever come around during the day, or just at night because I’m so fun?” You’re teasing him, but it’s a nice easy feeling between you.

“Not really a sun guy,” bullshit, he would look beautiful with a tan, “but I do drag everyone here just to see you.”

“Awww, all for me? Do you have a crush, Marko?”

It’s more than that. You hear the words clearly, but his smile doesn’t move. You kick the other sandal off.

“I can hear you, I don’t know how, but I can. I bet you can hear me too.”

I can. You’re wrong about the tan thing.

You straighten up, mind clearing as you blurt out your next question. Something absolutely stupid.

“So what are you, a vampire or something?” he laughs at you, but his big toothy smile doesn't reach his eyes. No, there's something predatory, extremely dark in his eyes. Otherworldly.

How could you guess?  

“Well, that for one big fucking clue.” You ash the spliff for the final time, leaving the roach in the tray. You would think you’d be more surprised, more upset that you just found out vampires were real, and that you were in the same room as one. You have to say, weirder things are probably afoot in Santa Carla. Murder capital of the world can’t all be from some rowdy teens and a ten year old.

“You do those surf nazis?” is all that leaves your mouth. You kind of hope it was. They were the fucking worst. Racist, misogynistic, destructive. You’d had to threaten them a few times to leave your store on your shift.

“The—? Oh! Surf nazis. Yeah that was us. Ate a few of them.”

“Good for you. I mean— murder. bad. But they were nazis, and now they’re dead. so…” you trail off. Not really sure what to say next, but then you keep going. Remember everything you know about Marko.

“No, no I mean, it makes sense. Right? You and the guys only hang around at night. Aren’t vampires solitary hunters though? I don’t remember Dracula being in a frat.”

“They’re my pack. We take care of each other.” He says it with such fondness and devotion.

You feel a pang of jealousy run through you. You work alone for the most part, live alone, you’ve got friends but they’re all over the place. He belongs to something.

“And you're down with this?” he’s legitimately asking. You nod. You don't really have a choice, you're down or you get eaten, but like genuinely you are down with it. If he was going to eat you, he probably would have by now. There's probably a reason they've been hanging around the store, and in your sightline while you close up. You're putting things together.

“Like really?”

“Well, you haven't made me a kebab yet.”

He shrugs, frowns.

“Could still skewer you on something.”

Laughter erupts from your lips while you roll your eyes, music to Marko’s ears. This is why he took a shine to you, it's easy to get along with you, and you're not one of his brothers.

Something heavy falls in the room, and it's not the haze of the incense. He steps towards you, big blue eyes raking over your body, but always coming back to meet your gaze. He closes the space between you, easily fitting between your thighs; the rough patches of his jacket brushing against your bare skin where your shorts ride up. He leans in, like he's about to kiss you, and against all better judgement, you're going to let him.

You're going to let him.

The record skips. He holds out his hand, more like a gentleman than a biker gang killer, and helps you off the counter.

“Hold on, let me pick out a new record,” you turn without waiting for his confirmation, not at all surprised when Marko follows hot on your heels to the back room. Your boss’ office, the record room. Whatever you wanted to call it. His hands ghost over your arms as you push past the wooden bead curtain to enter the room. You can feel his presence close enough to touch. That's it, right where I want you. There’s his voice again.

He lets you actually pick out a new record. You slide it out of the sleeve and walk it over to the player. The static buzzes and pops as the needle finds the groove.

“Ocean Rain, you heard it?” No. He shakes his head, and you can feel it as he leans into your back.

“Echo and the Bunnymen. They've got a new album coming out this year.”

You turn to face him and his fingerless leather glove clad hands cover your cheeks.

He kisses you gently, tenderly. Not at all the way you’d expect. He’s eager, kissing like there’s something to prove. He licks his way into your mouth, tongue pushing your lips apart and you let him. His arms tighten around you as you kiss, tongues now greeting each other playfully. Your tongue explores his mouth, running along each and every tooth in his mouth. Huh, no fangs, you realize, and maybe he isn't actually a vampire. As if he reads your mind (maybe he does), he pulls away.

“They're, uh, hiding,’ he nods, almost to himself more than you. You nod as well, slow and uneasy, not quite believing him, but he pulls you back into a harsh kiss, more of what you expected. His hands roam your body as yours bury themselves in his curls. Still damp, but long and beautiful just as well. He shrugs the jacket off his shoulders, and his hands only briefly leave you to throw it and his gloves somewhere else, leaving him just in a thin white tank top. His mouth leaves yours to trail lower, kissing your neck. Your pulse point. Fucking irresistable. No, that's definitely his voice. Is this the end? Could be.

“I can smell you, hot stuff,” he moans into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You find yourself gripping onto his shoulders a little tighter, but he lets you sink. He guides you, again more gently than you thought he would; bare knees brushing the threadbare carpet floor before you plant yourself. You look up at him through your lashes and he all but bites back a groan.

“You gonna join me down here?” You lick your lips, waiting for something.

“Nah, I’m gonna let you have a head start,” there's a joke in his tone. You're learning that’s normal for him. He’s silent, or playing jester. It’ll be interesting when you let him fuck you. Shit, did he hear that?

“Quit thinkin’ so loud!” he runs an affectionate hand through your hair. “But yes, I heard you. Glad you're as eager as I am.”

That's encouraging. You take your time undoing his belt, connected to faded and soft leather chaps, not bothering to push them down his thighs before you move to the top of his jeans, teasing your fingers at the skin just above the waistline. He shudders under your touch, extremely reactive. Does he get touched like this often? Or is it just quick fucks? You don't want to think about who else he might be doing this with, focusing again on his body, and all of the offending clothing covering it. You unbutton them slowly, teasing. For a member of the undead, he seems to be out of breath under your movements. The zipper is pulled down just as slowly. You run your palms flat along the bottom of his stomach, to his hips before pushing his jeans down to around his ankles, hooking his boxers on your finger along with them. He’s beautiful, and you can help but stare. Hard, eager, and thick, greeting you with a small trimmed patch of golden blonde curls. You wrap your hand around the base.

You never expected a vampire to whimper, but that's exactly what happens when your tongue darts out of your mouth to lick the head of his cock. Quick, tentative little lick, testing the waters. Your tongue swipes across the slit at the tip of his thick member and his hands animate like you flipped a switch, rising up, going to your hair, rising up again, slamming down against the desk. Your boss’ desk. You lick a long stripe to the underside of his cock, paying close attention to the prominent vein there.

“So good, so good, oh you feel so-” he pants out, hands white knuckling the edge of the desk. Heat pools in your core, loving that he’s so vocal. Fuck, if he could just keep speaking. Your other hand moves to your shorts, sloppily and hastily undoing them and wiggling them down to your knees. You wrap your lips around the head of his cock and sink down on it, taking him as far as you can, until you couch when he hits the back of your throat.

“You look fucking beautiful like that. Please move, Please move, you’re so fucking good at this.”

You do, starting to bob your head up and down on the length of him, hollowing out your cheeks and flattening your tongue against him, cupping and massaging his balls in your hand. Your free finds itself between your legs, rubbing gently at your clit, stirred and encouraged by his praise.

“Does sucking me off get you hot and bothered?” Yesitdoes.

You keep bobbing your head, rubbing your clit, eyes trained on his until his eyes squeeze shut. His cock twitches in your mouth.

“Don't wanna- don't wanna finish in your mouth,” he’s urgent, grabbing you by the chin and pulling your mouth off of his cock. He pushes you back by your shoulders, letting you guide yourself back to lay on the rug. He pulls your loose shorts easily off your legs and settles himself between your legs, too eager to bother with removing his boots and everything.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long. Do you know how bad I wanted this?”

“Fuck me, Marko, dont say it. Just do it,” youre breathless under him, wanting nothing more than for him to be fucking you. He pauses.

“I dunno…” his thumb swipes up along your clit, drawing a whine from your throat, “For some reason I think you like it when I say things.”

You nod, knowing words will fail you. And he gives you what you want, lining himself up and sinking into you, groaning as he buries his head into the crook of your neck.

“Oh I knew your pussy would feel like fucking heaven,” he pants against your neck, pressing a harsh kiss to the underside of your jaw. He sets the pace quickly, unmerciful and fast, fucking hard and deep into you. His hands push up your thin tee shirt, and you can feel his sigh of relief when he gets a handful of bare breast. He doesn't have to deal with a bra tonight. You hike your knees up, opening yourself as much as you can to him, wanting him to fill you to the brim. He looks into your eyes while he fucks you, which comes as a surprise to you. Maybe it shouldn't. You wonder what it would be like to be a victim of his. Does he treat them well? Have fun with them like this? Or is he vicious? You don't know if you could picture him like that… vamped out.

“What does it feel like?”

“What?” he thrusts sharply, snapping his hips into you, making you yelp.

“To be fed on, but not to die.”

Are you serious? You hear him in your head.

YesIam. He thrusts like that again, earning an identical yelp, now coupled with your thighs squeezing him around the middle. You're close already, and he can tell.

He nods, a question; You nod, confirmation.

He pulls at the neckline of your shirt, already scooping so it doesn’t ruin, and exposes your shoulder. Somewhere non lethal. His other hand comes up to grip your jaw, covering your neck but being careful not to squeeze it. You hope he bruises your jaw, you realize. A physical way to feel him when dawn comes. He slows his pace to a rocking, grinding into you, staying deep.

Then he bites. Stars erupt behind your eyes, and it feels like your blood has turned to seltzer. Every nerve in your body is in overdrive as you moan and shake and come undone around his cock. You're the kind of girl that comes from the bite of a vampire, apparently. He doesn’t let up. You can faintly hear him moaning against the open wound in your shoulder, and you hope you taste good to him. He licks the wound a few times more, softly, carefully, like he’s trying to soothe you when he finally lets you come down from your high.

When he pulls back to let you see him, his features are gruesome, full vampire with sharp brows and cheekbones, pointed nose even that much more so almost birdlike. Fangs and bottom half of his face covered in blood.Your blood.  He’s panting like an animal after the kill. But he doesn't scare you. Maybe he should, but he doesn't.  It's just Marko, no matter what, and if he wanted to eat you he would have. Several times now. His hand finally releases your jaw, to wipe the blood from his face. He wipes his hand then on your face, covering you in your own blood, hot on his fingers and palm.

“Fuckin sexy,” he pants, voice deeper and distorted. His thrusts speed up, trying to find his own release as your nails dig into his back, maybe making him bleed as well. You feel the rug burn forming on your back, you feel tears in your eyes. It's never felt this good with other guys.

When he comes, he comes with a howl, buried deep inside you as he shouts and shivers then stills above you. Your chest is heaving, trying to regain yourself as his face slowly fades to normal, and he slumps down on top of you. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, near the wound he tore open, now no longer bleeding. He mouths at any bare skin he can find, lazy half kisses as he spreads more mess and blood on you. Your fingers find his curls again, winding them around your digits as you stare up at the sickly green mood lighting bathing the walls of the room.

An hour later, Marko is helping you lock up early.

He makes sure to dump out all of the ashes from spliffs and incense, makes sure the vinyl is all in its right place while you make sure the register and inventory is all in its rightful place and order.

“You’re dangerous, you know.”

“Me?” you scoff, “That rich, coming from you.”

I’d do a lot of things I’m not supposed to for you. You kinda don't want to ask him what he means by that. For some reason that feels like a conversation you shouldn't have tonight. 

He leaves the store before you, holding the door open for you and letting you lock the doors. He slings an easy arm over your shoulder, not bothering to shield either of you from the rain as he steers you towards your car. You can feel the rain cleaning your face, the blood flowing away and saving you the shower you were going to take before collapsing into bed tonight.

“Where’s your bike?”

“I flew here,” he says with that devilish smile, and you're really not sure if he's joking or not. Your arm sneaks its way into his jacket and wraps around his waist, holding him close as he makes sure you get home same. Marko makes you feel calm, in a way you didn't feel before you moved to Santa Carla. How long had he been waiting to make his move? And does this mean he and his brothers would be coming around more often? Maybe being more friendly towards you. Each step towards your car feels heavy; You don't want to go home alone without him, but somehow you know he won't come with you. 

“Will I see you again?”

He grabs your car keys from your hand, and sticks them in the door handle. Of course you will.

Right. You just have to be near the beach at night. You know, where you work.

He kisses you full on the mouth, holding you close and tight, like you could slip away at any second. When he finally lets you go you pull away to be met with his face, full on grinning, his eyes still closed from the kiss. He doesn't look like a killer.

Marko watches you as you pull open the door to your car and more or less throw your ass into the seat.  He holds the door as he gives you one last smile, and says:

“You know, you should never invite a vampire into your life. Renders you powerless.”

And he winks. 

[give-grian-rights]

HERMITCRAFT 8 LIVEBLOGGING

fifteen hermits worth of liveblogging. i am losing my mind. LONG POST AHEAD.

JOE HILLS (First HC8 Video)

Mumbo did the speech. he forgot everything he was supposed to say <3

Pearl and Gemini were just .in a pit . having stuff thrown onto them

Every Hermit is staying on the same continent !!

FIRST DEATHS VERY QUICKLY, Iron Golems took out Tango and Etho (maybe more?)

Joe seems to be the only one looting the chests

Evil Jevin !!

Evil Xisuma appearance on Jevin’s 60 second video!

Pearl has something planned for an “archeticual wonder” for a resupply area upon death?

Stress, Xisuma and Joe are capturing villagers and starting up a resupply debut.

Bdubs is killed by Cleo and is now OUT FOR BLOOD

First death counts- Etho, Tango, Bdubs, Cleo?

Cleo was killed by Keralis

Joe has now supplied Cleo with weapons and food . She left but not before saying “Time to kill BDubs again!”

Gemini was killed by Bdubs! They both died and are now at spawn.

Pearl was killed by Cleo

Pearl is planning a respawn inn !!

Cleo was killed by Iskall

Cleo was killed by Pearl

False, Stress, and Gemini team up??? AA!!! they brought a delivery of supplies to Joe <3

i wish i knew what was happening on that end .

APPARENTLY XISUMA IS ONTO MAKING THE SECOND VILLAGER BREEDER ALREADY ??

Iskall is the first with Diamonds??

Breathe in that ash !

WAIT IS TANGOS EYES LIKE THAT RN BECAUSE HES TEAMED WITH KERALIS AND BDUBS ???

KERALIS, BDUBS, AND TANGO TRIED TO DO A SHAKEDOWN ON JOE. HE TRIED TO DROP LAVA, GOT HIMSELF ONTO TWO HEARTS BECAUSE HE PLACED IT ON HIMSELF, AND IS NOW SWIMMING OUT INTO THE SWAMP

the big eyed trio are now off to shake down Gemini

Joe fell in Lava in the Nether

Joe Death To Lava Two: Electric Boogaloo

Joe drowned trying to kill a glowsquid

WATCH JOE’S VIDEO OH MY GOD SEAN HILLS RECAP RAP??? MY BELOVED????? i am gonna be streaming this unironically later LIKE OH MY GOD THIS SLAPS. ALSO THE CREDITS AT TEH END IS HILARIOUS

Zedaph Episode Recap

Zed gave us a recap of the continent every Hermit will be living on !!

Wouldn’t recommend Zedaph as the first video for the season, he skips the intro/speech but it’s Zedaph and hes making it fun!! Lots of nice editing :)

~SCIENCE TIME !~

Zedaph.. why is your starter base made out of concrete ?

There are no sheeps whatsoever on his mountain

Hes calling his lab an icecream sandwich..yeah i see it

Zed tried to make a portal underater...f

Scar died to a creeper </3

Zedaphs base is gonna be tracking how long hes there/someones loading the chunk!

XISUMA LIVE BLOGGING

A cool cinema scene of him becoming an axolotl!! <3

NOW I CAN SEE IT, GRIAN WAS THE FIRST DEATH!! Death by Iron Golem!!

XIsuma’s baseplans need over 45 THOUSAND BLOCKS TO BE PLACED

He’s also planning on making a shulkershell farm!!

i’m not gonna lie ! talking axolotl X is horrifying ! thanks !

Day one Villager Breeder... chaos.

Xisuma Derp! looked straight at a buncha wool and said how badly he needed beds and then walked away

THE GIRLS CAME OVER AND CONVINCED HIM HE NEEDS TO MOVE THE DESIGN OVER MY FIVE BLOCKS FOR SWAMP VILLAGERS..

THE GIRLS ARE JUST LAUGHING AT HIM AND HIS VILLAGER TROUBLES

day one and Xisuma has got his axolotl!!

Very pretty starterbase!!

XB’s

..I’m not gonna lie theres not much to say!! He’s very calm :) he says hes going into it without a plan, and htat last season was the only time he had any thought of what he was gonna do.

He made a real nice starter house and thats about it!

Cleo’s

Bdubs: “She ain’t gonna hurt me!! i’m invincible, babey!”

Cleo learnt that BDubs will never hurt her even if she deserves it . I am starting to realize why she kills him

SHE DECIDED SHES GONNA BE A PROPER CHAOS GREMLIN THIS SEASON...

AISDJASID CLEO GOT PAID TO KILL BDUBS?? HDUIAIHSI SCAR WHY

“Alright I found my mission for the season! Murder.”

Cleo, Mumbo, Grian, and Scar are all holed up in a cave together!

..Scar died from a skeleton !

Cleo has now split from Grian and Mumbo! Scar is missing in action

CLEO FOUND A GOAT

SHES KILLING THE GOAT???

she got a HORSE <3 and Joe gave her a saddle! I think her name is..Widget?

She LOVES the candles for shamboo n waterbottles and bits n bobs for her armorstands!!

Got her Armorstand stickgod book <3

Geminitay POV

NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT!!

She has a LOVELY voice!!

The pov of her in a hole . being surrrounded . is kinda hilarious

It might’ve been Etho who was first death?? I GENUIENLY CANNOT TELL BECAUSE OF EDITING

All the murder was just for heads!

Seriously her voice is. wow

WE LOVE A QUEEN WHO KNOWS HOW TO CRAFT A SHIELD WITHOUT USING THE GUIDE <3

False, Gemini, and Stress are on the great journey for MOSS !

Gem just blew their minds with the moss.

TANGO KERALIS AND BDUBS ARE BACK Keralis: “Show the diamonds show the diamonds show the diamonds!” Gem: “Keralis. This is not how you make friends.”

The boys suecessfully recieved a diamond each

Etho n Iskall are travelling together!! You dont see those two together often

Etho got a glowsquid head!!

Gem: “Etho doesn’t share, is what i’m learning..?”

Etho hooked her with a fishing rod and said she has to do what he said .

In order to get the diamonds, Tango, Keralis, and BDubs placed down a sign saying “Gem is Great!” and Gem used a glow inksack on it.

Etho: “So..What is this? Do you have an ego, or this a motivational thing, or..?” He said, while laughing

Iskall: “I think its really funny that you have set your base up in the middle of a birch forest.” Gem: “I love birch forests! Do you not like my birch forest? Iskall: “I love it, yeah.” Gem: “This is the best biome in the game, Iskall.” Iskall: “Mmmm..” Etho: “I’m pretty sure I heard Iskall talking earlier that like, of all the biomes in the game, there was one he hated more than anything. Gem: “Oh really? And what was that one?” Iskall: “..Taiga.” Gem: “Taiga.. That’s true, thats a good one, thats a good one.” Iskall: “Don’t like Taiga.” Gem: “Mhm.” Etho: “Which one do you hate more than anyone?” Iskall: “..Diorite fields. Thats a bad one.” Etho: “Yeah thats a bad one.” Gem: “Didn’t know about that one. Well make sure to avoid’em. Birch forests are really good.” Iskall: “I’m a big fan of birch forests.” Gem: “Yeah, me too, me too. I’m glad we’re on the same page :) This is so beautiful! All the white and- and the like zebra stripes! is fantastic.” Iskall: “I..Um.. Yes.”

OH SHE’S CANADIAN,, ETHO HAS A FRIEND /j

She’s still in college :O SHE’S A SCIENTIST?? SHES WORKING AT A HOSPITAL?? POG!!

She accidentally found an enchanted golden apple in a mineshaft!! she thinks its the first she ever found in survival!!

She has a cow, sheep, and a few crop farms set up!! Her starter house has INTERRIOR!

SHE CHANGED HER SKIN AND ITS SO PRETTY AND HAS OVERALL AND I LOVE IT!!

shes doing a cottage core inspired base!

WOAHH!!! SHE MADE HTE MOST GOREGOUS CUSTOM TREE I’VE EVER SEEN ??

BDUBS IS HERE and he is so so so impressed by the tree ?!

also hes carrying a clock.. :(

He’s here with a present!

HE BROUGHT BAMBOO!

she thinks its so funny that he stops conversations to sleep AOIDHFEAUI\

SCARS

WE GOT A TRANSITION SCENE!! the canonical reason for the bed in his old village always being occupied is because underneath it, was his wizard portal!

Bdubs: “It’s a new season! You’re the little guy now!”

They are all very amused by that ^

they’re rubbing the fleece of bdubs jacket .

Bdubs: “Have a nice rub :)” PLEASEAHSIOJDIUASLDHIASDA

His starter base is gonna be a wagon and he wants the end game to be a bioshock esque skyscraper!

he confused a horse for a player . flashback to iskall thinking mumbo was a mob

PEOPLE THINK MUMBO DOESNT HAVE PANTS ON.... </3

Scar, Mumbo, and Grian.. have NO braincells. at all. THey just placed a crafting table with a boat on top with a bed on top with a boat on top .

this is what BROS FOR LIFE looks like.

BOATEM POLE !

SCAR IS STUCK UNDERGROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IRL AND HAS NO PICKAXE..

AND HE DIED TO A CREEPER .

it seems like Grian, Mumbo, and Scar are working together !!!! HOLY SHIT !!

THERES SO SO SO MANY FARMS???????

he died several times trying to catch a skeleton with a sword

FIRST CHEST MONSTER OF THE SEASON <3

SCAR JSUT TOLD BDUBS HE LOOKS LIKE OSCAR THE CROUCH... BDUBS CANNOT EVEN ARGUE

OH NO.... GRIAN WENT AFK IN A HOLE . WITHOUT A HELMET .

THEY PUT A  GLOWSQUID HEAD ON HIM

OH MY GOD MUMBO MADE A NOTEBLOCK SONG?? AJUDA

SCARS BUILTING IS SO SO SOOS GOREGOUS SERIOUSLY GO WATCH THE VIDEO OH MY GOD ITS HUGE

its a giant ass house boat wagon . its pulled by a llama . that killed him . so now its trapped, pulling hte agon, forever

Grian: “..Thats a very big house, for a very little hat.”

GRIANS SUPER SPECIAL EGG??

SCAR PUNCHED IT..

they really came out here . and killed the egg already.

Scar: “..I touched the thing”

TANGO POV

We see the three big eyed boys forming <3 they interrupted Tangos intro

THEY’RE BULLYING HIM ABOUT HAVING SMALL EYES AHIDUIASUHDWIS

HE TRIED TO CALL THE TRIO TEAM BUG EYE... THE OTHERS ARE VERY OFFENDED

they found an axolotl and Bdubs was TERRIFIED just screaming “WHAT IS THAT YELLOW THING?!”

BDUBS IS ATTACKING IT ???

okay nope Bdubs caught one and Tango lost it

Bdubs is naming his axolotl Idiot

AMAZING HOUSE. WHY IS TANGO SO GOOD AT BUILDING AND REDSTONE??

Impulse POV

MUMBO TRIED TO PLACE DOWN A BERRY BUSH TO HURT IMPULSE . HE FORGOT HOW BUSHES WORK..

I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT IMPULSE WAS IN THE BOATEM POLE

so it looks like those four are hteo nes who grouped up together

PEARL BROKE THE CONSTITUION SHE GOT IN THE WRONG BOAT SMH

THIS IS SEASON EIGHT! FIVE BROS !

So its gonna be about five people in the same area!!

YOO!! Fantasy build for Impulse!!

G gave Impulse a spyglass, they had a fun moment of zooming in on eachothers face and complimenting eachother IHAUDIHAW

Grian and Impulse worked on an xp farm!

ASHDUIWAHISD GRIAN JUST LOGGED ON INFRONT OF HIM

a pillager stole his boat . not just any pillager . the one with a banner. </3

he has to live with Mumbo tuning a song .. </3 haha

Mumbo POV

it took fifteen seconds until Grian ran in during Mumbos intro

CONFIRMED? GRIAN WAS FIRST DEATH?

SECOND PERSON TO THINK MUMBOS PANTS ARE SKIN COLOR. GRIAN..

Grian: “Can you..Briefly explain why you’re just wearing a hawaiian shirt?” Mumbo: “Uh- what do you mean ‘just wearing a hawaiin shirt? I have shorts on as-well, dude”

FOLLOWED BY

Mumbo: “Can you explain why you’re wearing a red jumper?” Grian: “You know- you know i was born with this!”

MUMBO AND GRIAN STOLE THE BOAT LOOT FROM RENDOC

I THINK RENDOC JUST STOLE THE DIAMOND MUMBO THREW??

Grian: “Is that Scar?” Mumbo: “I can’t see past your giant waffle!”

DSFSDFJIOA they did an edit where they placed down a boat, both Mumbo and Grian got in, they made noises and then bopped up on top of the ravine they were in <3

THEY HAVE NO BRAINCELL THEY JUST PLACED DOWN A BENCH AND SAID “THIS IS THE MARK OF OUR VILLAGE!” and then placed a torch and a boat and a bed and aANOTHER BED..

..Mumbo is trying to be a pacifist this season!

Grian’s taunting him with beheaded things

And obviously part of being pacifist means he’s gonna be vegetarian in minecraft!

..he cannot use monster farms because pacifisim..

Mumbo was in the middle of reading the magical Timmy shack that Tango made (did i remember to mention that? who knows) and IN THE MIDDLE OF GETTING TO THE PART ABOUT IF YOU REMOVE STUFF FROM THE CHEST, NOTHING WILL BE ADDED IN IT AGAIN. Grian opened the chest . Mumbo SHOUTED HIAUDHUW Grian jumped man

They renamed it “Cave of Do Not Enter” HIAUEDUH

Mumbo and Scar BOTH did not know- at least Mumbo didn’t, Scar forgot,  that podzol spawns from two-by-two spruce..

him and his guitar song to be played underneath his house.. it goes with the aesthetic i suppose

MAN HE NEEDS SO MUCH HAYBALES I FORGOT THATS NEEDED FOR THE TUNE HE WANTS

Mumbo: “What.. On Earth.. Scar, it’s meant to be a starterbase, buddy! What is this? This is many things, many many things, a starterbase is NOT one of them!”

HE LITERALLY DIDNT KNOW THAT THE DRAGON EGG TELEPORTS... WHEN YOU TOUCH IT...

BDUBS

nothing special we havent seen yet!! just him screaming about axolotls.

He was working in the Mesa in his intro, skipping the “speech” from Mumbo

He released Idiot the Axolotl and lost it .

Him SCREAMING “Gemini” is HILARIOUS

While Gemini gave away those three diamonds, Keralis got so excited he won a bet with Tango and Bdubs, that he gave back . two of the diamonds . and none of htem released until well after they left

Bdubs: “That’s why i have my mwoss skin!” PLEASE I LOVE THE WAY HE SAYS IT.. make the moss hood.. REAL..

it took me a while to figure out what his base is but i LOVE IT so so much!!!

Nothing much new to add !!

Stress pov

please i love her . very good !! False seems to have joined her sheerly because Stress sounded like she knew what she was doing. she does not.

False felt peerpressured and asked Stress for permission to fight her because everyone was killing eachother .

It ended up with Stress following False. they found a village!

ISKALL only saw him one other time today!!

JEVIN APPEARS AGAIN !

XISUMA FELL INTO HTE BREEDER AND IT WAS SO FUNN IUAHHYIAUSD

Ren: “Ya look goregous, Stress!” Stress: “Thanks! Don’t murder my dog!”

She’s so proud of herself for caving!! (with False n Gem

Iskall blew up!

..Iskall fell from a high place

Stress has a LOVELY ravine base!!

False

False wants to become pirates with Stress <3

gatekeep gaslight girlboss

BIG OL MUSHROOM HOUSE !!

it looks like a mushroom church and i LOVE IT.

Nothing new we didn’t see from Gem. She does want to come up with a banner design for her base, though!

Grian

..Mumbo just thought Grian had a purpose so decided to follow him <3

ALSO HIS INTRO, AS HE JOKED ABOUT IN THE OTHERS VIDEO, WAS, IN FACT, THE BOATEM POLE

Grian is SO PROUD of the fact taht they got good loot from a treasure map. Ren and Doc are NOT IMPRESSED

Grian: “Lets go, potato boy!”

Mumbo: “I don’t have to replace everything I break! Peace Love and Plants- are these plants..?” He says, mining amethyst

pants

he who controls the egg, controls the server... Grian.. you’re doing great sir

...He decided.. his goal.. is to make his OWN..caves and cliffs update... HELLO..?

Grian was the first one to kill the enderdragon, MAN. Speedrunning career WHEN? /j

Grian: “And now [Mumbo] is flexing on my bed!”

he might not have a base. but he has an egg.

It is now 2am. i cannot do this anymore. This will be continued.. tomorrow!

[bakatenshii]

Grapefruit

Oikawa Tooru x reader (haikyuu!!)

word count: 2.3k

TW: 18+, lemon, wattpad, crack

A/N: I’m so sorry. This is actually a joke, a parody, I promise, it’s written like this on purpose for the collab. Terrible (or lack entirely of) grammar, dialogue so cheesy I threw up multiple times in my mouth, too many specifications of shades of the colour pink. For @undermattsun’s whorehouse wattpad garbage fire collab. I’m so sorry.

grape·fruit

/ˈɡrāpˌfro͞ot/

In the world of fandom (check out fan fiction, fanfics, or fics), a grapefruit is a story which consists of sexual explicit themes in bizarre situations.

An orange-twinged pink, almost coral.

haikyuu series!! :3

disclaimer: haikyuu does NOT belong 2 me. Or else I would make XXXX go w/ XXXX ;)

༻✧༺

𝑝𝑎𝑝𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑎𝑔𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠

𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠

༻✧༺

“hurry up y/n!!!” - i remove my skullcandies out my ears, hearing my best friend sunnie(with an ie! not y!) shout to me from down the hall.

flipping my baby pink (NOT cotton candy pink! god there’s a difference, get it right. last week ash-lee with her stupid bleach blonde hair called it cotton candy pink and I wanted to kill her) hair behind my shoulder, i skipped down the lockers.

i was in my best outfit, checkered pink and white (bubblegum pink, this time) leg warmers with my matching pink + white skirt and white denim jacket with a pink butterfly bedazzled on the back. i saw paris hilton in it on her myspace too, so you could say im pretty trendy.

not like the other girls, like brittney (with her dark hair with a blue streak with a puppy shaped purse she swears is designer.) or ash-lee with her stupid ugly blonde hair that’s deffo fake. oh i already said that

anyways

it’s just an average tuesday morning, and i’m just your not-so-average girl. my name’s (y/n) (l/n) and im (age) years old. my best friends are sunnie, rachelle, and meeky. oh, and lindt, sometimes, when she’s not too busy with trying to save the world from global warming.

i’m on my way to p.e. which UGH is my least fav class, who even came up with it? but at least there’s the hottie oikawa tooru-sama in my class (ha! eat that ash-lee + brittney) and all the girls luuuuurv him. he’s soooo hot i bet he has abs

(brianna with the ugly hair who wears green shoes with red socks said she saw him change once and she totally saw his 8pack but she’s a liar so i dont believe her)

(even tho he tooootally has one)

i was on way just skipping down the hall to go to p.e. when someone crashes into me from behind.

‘-u-GH!’ i fall.

‘hey!!!!’ i turned around to yell at who’s bumping into me-

it was oikawa tooru-sama!! the most popular boy in school!!! i felt like i was in a dream i pinched my hand but... it hurts!!! this isn’t a dream!!! the oikawa tooru-sama just crashed into me!!! with his body!!! his shoulder touched me!!!!!

he turn and looks at me and... my heart stops. i think im dying omgomgomg

‘a-are you okay (y/n)-chan?’ he asks me and holds his hand out.

i cant believe it. the oikawa tooru-sama is giving me his hand to hold?!?! is this heaven???

‘i-i-‘ i stammer. i’m so shocked i swear my face is beat red. ‘i-i’m ok.’

i was too scared to hold his hands because mine were so sweaty from seeing him this upclose. i stand up and dust my knees because i want him to think i’m tough. that’s right. oikawa tooru-sama is a professional vball player! (v for volley-ball) he’s not going to like some dumb average weak normal crybaby girl.

‘ok. see ya in class!’ he smiles and waves at me before walking down the hall, shooting me his signature smile. the one that makes flowers bloom around him and glitters around his whole body.

h-how did he know? did he just say in class??? the oikawa tooru-sama knows who i am???

i take out my phone to frantically text my bffs (sunnie, rachelle, meeky and lindt) and see the group chat had some unread new messages. i click open it.

(beep)

𝚋𝚕@𝚑𝚔𝚞𝚐𝟶𝟶: omgzzzz i juss saw tsukki-sama xDDD

𝕣𝕒𝕖𝕖𝕖𝕖𝕩𝕠𝕩𝕠: STDU XDD wut wuzz he wearin?!? hes sooooo hawt oh em geez

tsukki-sama, aka tsukishima kei-sama, is the hot blondie in the other class’s vball team. rachelle and sunnie are sooo in love with him, but i don’t blame them. he’s soooo tall, taller than oikawa tooru-sama even. (but that doesn’t matter because oikawa tooru-sama has the prettiest smile in the world and no one’s seen tsukki-sama smile like... since he came outta the womb)

i quickly type out my txt because this is more important than what the blonde vball star is wearing.

(beep)

𝖗𝖆𝖜𝖗𝖇4𝖐4: guizzzzz guizzzz GUIZE!!!! GUEZZ WUT JUSS HAPPND!!

𝖗𝖆𝖜𝖗𝖇4𝖐4: u’ll nv beliv it!!!!! omGZZZZZ IM LAIK DYINN XDDDDDDD TT_TT

ｓｋ８ｅｒｇ１ｒｌ: omgawd wuuuut

ｓｋ８ｅｒｇ１ｒｌ: w8 kita-sama jus sk8dd by me i fink he haz a new b04rd!!!!! be are be

𝖗𝖆𝖜𝖗𝖇4𝖐4: uGGGHRRR MEEKY DIS IZ MOAR IMPOARTAN!!!!!!

before i have the chance to tell them about my fateful encounter with the oikawa tooru-sama someone snatches my phone away. i turn around, maybe it’s oikawa tooru-sama again?

UGH NO IT’S OUR STUPID BALD PRINCIPAL. now i’m in trouble.

‘no phones in the hall (y/n) (l/n)-san!’ he yells at me. his breath stinks, yuck.

he takes my phone and puts it in his pocket and i realize that he’s putting it in his pocket and taking it away.

‘b-but-‘ jimmy i protest. not my flip phone with my pink bedazzled hello kitty charm on the end!

‘no buts!!!! see you after lecture missy!!’

god, this is just like, the worst day ever.

༻✧༺

𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑𝑏𝑦𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡

𝑙𝑒𝑡’𝑠 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑑𝑟𝑢𝑛𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑

𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎𝑛 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑦 𝑡𝑜𝑤𝑛

𝑤𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡

༻✧༺

p.e. is the same as always: im sitting on the side, not doing sports because girls like me can’t risk breaking my perfectly painted pink (hot pink, not baby pink) nail with diamonds on it. i tell my bffs about the encounter and they all agree that it’s deffo fate.

‘i know right??’ i giggle staring down at the man of my dreams, at his chocolate brown locks, thinking back at his dreamy brown orbs staring into my dark black ones offering me his hand.

‘you should totes ask him out!’ giggles sunnie.

‘oh em gee, never!!! that’s sooo embarrassing, he’s totally gonna say no!’ i said.

‘seriously, (y/n)-chan, what do you have to lose?’ rachelle said.

‘just like, my dignity and self respect.’ i reply sassily.

at that we three burst into laughter, and the fat p.e. prof turns and tells us shhhhhhh.

i love my friends.

i tell them about our bald principal taking my pink flip phone with the hello kitty charm on it away.

‘oh no!’ rachelle exclaimed.

‘what are you going to do?’ sunnie asked.

i shrug, feeling at a loss without it.

‘it’s like, seriously dangerous without a phone.’ the blonde said.

‘what if you get like, kidnapped or something?!’ the purplenette said, clasping her hand over her mouth in a show of shock. (ps. bluette vs. blunette?)

‘kidnapped?!?’ i laugh. ‘who’s gonna kidnap me?!!’ we all burst into laughter again, causing our p.e. prof (still fat and annoying) to shhh us again.

little did i know that the brunette vball star was staring up at me, plotting.

i had no idea what was about to come.

༻✧༺

𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦, 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑦𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑑𝑎𝑦

𝑤𝑒’𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑝𝑒

𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑛’𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑎 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑠𝑎𝑦

𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑢𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑤𝑎𝑦

𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝑖𝑡 𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑛, 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑒

𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒, 𝑡𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡

༻✧༺

when i open my eyes, my eyes are heavy, staring up at a bright light above my head. i squint my eyes because the light hurts my eyes.

‘well, well, well’ i hear a voice behind me. ‘(y/n)-himesama’s awake, i see.’

wait-

i know that voice-

that’s-

that’s the oikawa tooru-sama’s voice!

‘w-what?’ i stuttered, surprised but feeling a warm rush going down my body at the sound of his voice. ‘what’s going on?’

he chuckles. ‘can’t you tell?’

i look around and see my arms taped up behind me on a chair and my legs tied together by... something. rope maybe?

‘where am i?’ i ask, even more bewildered.

‘tsk tsk tsk, silly (y/n)-himesama. i’ve kidnapped you, my dear.’ he said. ‘we’re in my mansion right now’

my eyes pop out of their sockets. am i hearing him right?

‘no,’ he corrects himself. ‘we’re in our mansion.’

i can’t help but blush at that suggestion. our mansion?

that’s right, i must be crazy, i think to myself. this is all just a dream, i’m still in school, on the bleachers with my bffs and i fell asleep in our class.

‘this isn’t a dream, darling’ he singsongs, and i feel more warmth flood downwards. god what is wrong with me? turned on in this situation? but can you blame me? who wouldn’t get turned on when the oikawa tooru-sama is standing in front (or behind) them and calling them ‘darling’?

‘w-what- h-h-how?’ i ask him. ‘i was just at school, staring at you play vball in the gym- i mean n-not staring at you- and-‘

he chuckles darkly.

‘i know you were, (y/n)-himesama. that’s why i kidnapped you, because you’re so cute.’

i blush at his words. m-me? cute??? did the oikawa tooru just call me cute?

i suddenly remember what rachelle and sunnie said in p.e. today about being kidnapped, and shudder. god, h-her mind! they’re totally gonna tell me i told you so! when i tell them.

‘b-but, h-how?’ i bit my lip looking at him beneath my lashes, or however anastasia steele did it in too many shades of grey. (it wasn’t actually that bad, but ill never admit it. it’s sorta kinda hot. also pantone says theres only like 37 diff shades so.)

‘i saw you with your friends, and i served a ball at your head knocking you out.’ he explained. suddenly i feel a pang on my head reinforcing what he’s saying.

‘ow...’ i say quietly.

the brunette man built like a god walks into my frame of vision for the first time after waking up and i notice he’s shirtless, all 8pack exposed for me to look at.

(i guess brianna was right, but she’s still a liar that wears green shoes with red socks.)

he comes up to me and kneels in front of me until he’s kneeling in front of me. he carresses my cheek with his hand (the same one he reached out to me earlier that day, pre-kidnapping) and i sigh.

if this is a dream never wake me up. i think to myself.

‘wh-‘ before i can get the words out asking him why me?, he presses a finger to my lips, shushing me.

he looks at me with his brown chocolate orbs, and i get lost in them, counting the stars and constellations in those glowing beautiful orbs that i never thought i could look at so up close. (except in photos i secretly took)

‘i love you, (y/n) (l/n)’ he says.

i fainted.

༻✧༺

𝑡𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠

𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑏𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒

𝑤𝑒’𝑙𝑙 𝑐𝑟𝑦, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑢𝑝 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡

༻✧༺

i wake up (for the second time that day, god what is up with today?), my eyes still heavy.

‘good morning, darling,’ i hear a voice say, and suddenly i remember everything that’s transpired so far.

(for reference: i crashed into the oikawa tooru-sama this morning, had my phone taken away, and now kidnapped by none other than the oikawa tooru-sama, now in his- no, our mansion.)

‘o-oikawa tooru-sama?’ i stutter out weakly, still groggy.

‘just tooru, my hime-sama.’ he says and i feel my body heating up again.

suddenly, i’m filled with an overwhelming emotion, and the worlds spill out before i can stop them.

‘i love you, t-tooru.’ i stutter on the foreign name, biting my lips (for good measure).

he looks at me, chocolate orbs piercing right into my super dark black pupils, and he starts to cry. i cry too, because he just looks so beautiful, even when he’s crying.

he holds me in his arm and i nuzzle my nose into his neck, smelling his deep chocolatey velvety sweet minty musky scent. he smells so good i could just stay here forever, bathing in the chocolatey velvety sweet minty musk.

‘u-um...’ i start, and he nuzzles his face into my neck some more. i can feel his wet tears on my shoulder... is he still crying??

i try again. ‘u-ummmm...’

he finally looks up at me and i peer into his deep chocolate orbs, feeling him stare intently into my dark block orbs. i wiggle my arms to show him i want him to release them, because if you remember they’re still taped up by like, tape or rope or whatever.

‘o-oh!’ he exclaims and unties them.

i don’t know what came over me but suddenly we’re kissing, our tongues are battling for dominance within our hot wet cavernous mouths, and it’s soooo hot.

he grips my legs and spreads them apart, tongues still fighting a mighty battle, and i see him take out his big massive rock hard member in his hands.

i wrap my legs around him, thankful for the pink (bubblegum pink) and white checkered skirt im wearing today for easy access, and he pushes his hot shaft into my core. i can feel his member in my wet gushy wushy pussy and it feels so good i came.

he cums too.

‘w-will you marry me?’ he looks up at me, his member still inside. i feel tears brimming in my eyes again as I nod.

‘i do.’

༻✧༺

𝑤𝑒’𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚 𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑑 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑝 𝑜𝑓 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑠

𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦’𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑒’𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔

𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑒’𝑙𝑙 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑠𝑜 𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒

a/n: ta-dah!! the end!!! tankzz 4 readin guyzzzz lawl im thinking of making dis a series so... ;))) tell me who u wana be kidnapped by next! xD

a/n #2: speshull tankz 2 uwucatgirlprincess99 4 da line (u kno da one ;))) + sk8erg0rl666 4 havin me in da collab! + also cummin up wiv da title!! lawlzz rawr x)))

a/n #3: OH WOW . erhm. Longest chappy thing ive written. Hope you liked it. so uhm. ENJOY ! [btw, I'm considering doing the NEXT CHAP; sneak peek thing. Should I? :3 Comment?] plz R&R!! :]]] kudoz 4 u <333

p.s. da colour i used 4 da lyriczzz is fuschia pink! :3

p.p.s. comment below if u reconize dee song!! ur a kool kat if u do ;))

[prongssmrrcury]

the changing room

wolfstar fic /// one shot

word count::: 1.5k (its pretty short)

smut warning⚠️

THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING A ONE SHOT AND ITS LITERALLY 4 AM LMAOOO BUT I HOPE U LIKE THIS OK I LOVE U BYE <33

ecstatic roars arose from the gryffindor stands as chaser james potter passed the quaffle to marlene McKinnon who didnt hesitate to launch it through the longest hoop narrowly missing the hufflepuff keeper who made an attempt to save it but of course, failed dismally. the ten points this goal earned broke the tie the two teams had and made gryffindor not only win the match, but win the quidditch cup. yells and cheers from the tall scarlet stand were filling the entire stadium, the seven players got off their broomsticks and ran to give each other one big aggressive group hug that involved a lot of back patting, screaming, laughing, and a chant saying "we won! we won! we won!" and suddenly marlene was hoisted up by the six other players and they all started cheering her name as she scored the winning goal. they threw her in the air then carefully caught her, only to repeat that again. there was no doubt that the gryffindors were going to celebrate that day till they all pass out.

"that was such a great game!" yelled sirius when the group hug had finally broken apart, making his way to the changing room with james.

"yes i know! that last throw i gave to marlene, didnt think twice, almost as if i knew she was going to score it!" james said, a wide grin not departing his face. "and you! you too padfoot, you were amazing! saved almost every quaffle thrown" sirius adjusted his hair and a smug looking grin spread on his lips. they entered the changing room and took their quidditch robes off and put on their normal school uniforms, sirius was standing in front of the mirror making final adjustments, ruffling his hair that always looked perfectly styled even after a bloody quidditch match.

"hey" he heard a soft voice break the utter silence he was standing in. he swiftly turned around to see a smiling remus standing next to him, fiddling with his fingers- god sirius loved it when he fiddles it makes him seem (if possible) hotter. what was he doing in the changing room anyway.

"hi" sirius replied in a quiet raspy voice getting a little closer to remus, staring at every inch of his face his eyes could take in. he looked at his fading scars, his messy ash hair, the awkward smile he was wearing, his hazel eyes that bear so much comfort. remus didnt respond right away, he just appreciated the few moments of silence he had with sirius. they werent exactly dating but the entire school seems to be convinced they were. maybe its because sirius once refused to sit down on his chair in mcgonagalls class and instead insisted to sir on remus' lap or he's not attending transfiguration til the end of the year, or maybe because they always sat cuddled up together in the gryffindor common room, giving each other small intimate touches and pecks every now and then.

"the game was amazing" remus broke the silence, closing the space between them their hips touching now, he felt sirius' entire body go stiff for a second. sirius lowered his gaze on remus' lips as he talked. remus had perfectly round plump lips that (in sirius' opinion) were so kissable. there was a small white scar that went through his lips and to the bottom of his chin.

"hmm" was the respond sirius gave. he was in complete and utter lust of the boy standing right before him. he felt remus softly thrust his hip forward which made sirius' insides erupt with butterflies and made his dick go rock hard, he was sure remus felt it through his trousers. sirius didnt think too much, because one second he was standing in front of remus, the other second he found himself thrown on top of one of the sinks with his lips connected to remus'.

remus kissed him hungrily, deepening the kiss and pushing sirius back, almost bending his back. he moaned deeply into the kiss that seemed endless, sirius pulled away from the kiss, keeping his forehead connected to remus'.

"fuck remus" he managed to breath weakly "im so hard, so fucking hard. if we keep doing this i'll cum right through my trousers"

remus smirked a little, running his fingers through sirius' hair to keep him as close to him as he could.

sirius softly connected his lips to remus' again, taking time to peck and softly caress the scars he had on his lips, which earned him a moan from remus. sirius breathed heavily, " i fucking love you. holy shit. every inch of you" he continued kissing his lips, as though not bearing to not kiss him. remus only dug his fingers deeper in sirius' soft curls, almost pulling it, sirius thrusted his bulging dick on remus' clothed one. sirius' hands went from remus face slowly down his body to his waist and stopped on the band of his trousers and started undoing his belt and unbuttoning the button, their lips not breaking apart. just then sirius broke the kiss, a string of saliva was on his and remus' lip which made them both give a small laugh. sirius attached his lips on remus' neck, giving a nibble and small bites wherever he felt like. remus threw his head back in pleasure and gave sirius another thrust with his waist.

"this- yes this feels so fucking amazing" remus breathed. sirius licked his adams apple that was moving and vibrating as he spoke. sirius go off the counter than remus threw him on and got down on the quite dirty floor and got down on his knees. he felt remus' gaze on him, watching carefully his every move mesmerized by the handsome boy that was sculptured my gods. sirius took one black band he wore around his wrist and sloppily tying his dark soft curly hair. he palmed remus' dick that was almost screaming to be let free, he carefully attached his lips on his hips, gently nibbling his soft skin, sucking it between his teeth making sure to leave marks for him to remember the next day. he continued his trail of soft kisses and hickeys that scattered on remus' hips and lower stomach. he kept palming him to make sure he was making him as satisfied as possible. as he got closer to his pubic area, sirius pulled his underwear to reveal his intimidating length that sprang right at remus' stomach, it looked so hard, the tip was leaking almost begging to finish.

"fuck remus... fuck- you're perfect. just flawless" sirius didnt wait for a response this time, but placed remus' length in his mouth, licking the tip and teasing him by swirling his tongue, remus then unexpectedly thrusted in sirius' mouth which made sirius gag slightly. remus looked apologetic for a few moments trying to mutter a "sorry" but sirius was already bobbing his head, taking in as much as he could letting his dick hit the back of his throat a few times.

"sirius- s-stop" remus whispered "im going to cum in your mouth" he was met by a smirking sirius who didnt stop but on the contrary deep-throated a couple more times until he felt a warm liquid erupt in his mouth. remus, who was gripping on sirius' hair for dear life, threw his head back and let out a big sigh of relief. he pulled his trousers and underwear to cover himself and got on the floor to look at sirius' face. he could barely see, there was stars in his vision but even if he was on his deathbed, he'd still look at this handsome face. a couple of strands had fallen from the loose bun sirius made and were stuck on his sweaty forehead. sirius' chest was going up and down rapidly as if he had just finished a marathon, remus pushed the hairs stuck on his forehead behind his ear and have him a weak smile.

"how are you feeling babe?" sirius asked

"dont mind me, how are you feeling". sirius returned the smile with a big breath.

"im as good as i can be"

"you were amazing darling" remus said in a rather soft tone that still had some rasp to it. he pecked sirius' lips a couple of times before he could stop himself. the changing rooms slowly creaked opened to reveal james walking out very slowly to see his two best friends a puddle of motionless limbs on the floor, exchanging soft words and pecks and kisses.

"right- right, but you're just friends?" james smirked at them, quoting what they always say.

"fuck i forgot youre here" remus said in a weak laugh.

"im not here moony, dont worry" he winked at them and left the changing room leaving them both. maybe he right about this one, maybe they werent just friends. the way remus can make him feel wasnt a feeling just a mere "friend" can evoke. sirius didnt know exactly what remus made him feel, or what he was to him, but whatever label you put on their relationship, sirius just wanted to lay in the heat of remus' body for as long as he could, hearing comforting voice cooing in his ear.

[freak60000]

ive been really into looking back on the teasers for new legends in apex so im gonna go on a ramble about them because i ust. love them so much warning this is VERY LONG

OKAY. octane, wattson, and valkyrie are the only legedns with no teasers for their actual CHARACTER. there are teasers for the SEASON, however, for wattson and valk. we'll start with the season 2 teaser.

season 2: a laptop appeared on the mountain in kings canyon. (this couldve been season 3 but.. im going off what i remember.) this was not a teaser for wattson herself, but rather a teaser for the season, in which that laptop would be used to blow up the repulsor tower (this laptop is also a teaser for season 3, in which it is revealed that this laptop belonged to crypto. more teasers for him next)

season 3: nearly every screen on kings canyon was hacked to show a countdown. legend banners, computers, etc. i believe some displayed code as well. the announcer's voice would constantly glitch in and out, as it it were being hacked. in the singh laboratory on kings canyon, crypto could be found using a computer in one of the closed off rooms, before seeing you (the player) and running away. the room he was in still cant be accessed, but still remains there. (in the voidwalker short, crypto's logo appeared on the flashdrive, the same one seen on the flashdrive in the season 2 trailer used on the laptop.)

season 4: in season 3 during the halloween fight or fright event, in which pathfinder is sent to another dimension through a portal seemingly just like wraith's, there is a mysterious figure running these twisted games, this figure replaces the announcer, announcing ring closes and the sort. this character ends up being revenant, but from another dimension, the dimension pathfinder accidentally stumbled into. strangely enough, this new dimension is one of the only dimensions where pathfinder does not exist. revenant exists in the original dimension, and becomes the new legend in season 4.

season 5: vaults began to appear on kings canyon. they could not be opened. in the vaults on worlds edge however, upon opening them you get your standard gold and purple loot, but there is a bracelet in the corner of the room. if you interact with it, youre sent to an underground storage facility with robot bodies lining the walls. you cannot reach the end of the long tunnel ahead of you before you are sent back to the loot vault. this facility, on the minimap, appears ot be beneath skull town on kings canyon. int he season 4 trailer, there is a little girl who appears throughout. revenant murders her parents, and she is seen after the trailer ends mourning over her fathers body before looking to the camera. this little girl was revealed to be the new legend, loba. in the lobbies during season 4, loba could be seen sneaking behind the banners before disappearing.

season 6: this one is much different than previous seasons. some gun skins are seen with a logo on them, all containing an R. this same symbol begins appearing in graffiti around worlds edge. graffiti, mainly in capitol city/fragments, shows the face of kuben blisk (the games manager), with text saying "wont let ya down". other graffiti like this is spread around. the spitfire gains a hopup that shoots paint instead of bullets.

season 7: a screen appears in the firing range. it doesnt work for a few days, but eventually you are able to interact with it. this screen showcases a woman speaking in a muffled, poor quality voice. this seems to be a recording of some sort. she assigns you to a task. this task orders that you find all of the gravity lifts spread across both kings canyon and worlds edge. if i rememebr you can check up ont he screen and there woudl be different dialogue? idk but once you finish these challenges, the screen would show the woman introducing herself. she shifts the camera to show herself and once she sets it down, the quality is clear. she says "you can call me, horizon. see you real soon, darlins!" and she ends up being the new legend in seaosn 7

season 8: bombs began dropping and appearing all over (i think both) the maps. i think thatts it idk i didnt caare abt that season too much

legacy: valkyrie was not rteased, but the season was. holosprays appeared around the map. if you got enough of them, care packages gave you (im gonna call them keys because i dont rememebr what theyre called) keys. thees keys could be used to activate the platform on the firing range, which called in a ship, which would take you to a place with an elevator that took you to a preview of the arenas. ash would talk to you here, and she would have special dialogue for horizon, calling her "dearie", further psuhing the idea that ashleigh reid is indeed ash.

season 10: current time. there are platforms with little diamond shapes on them. they open up to several blue specs forming the shape of a moth. the caves that contain the vaults, such as the ones in and by train yard, geyser, and thermal station, begin to shake upon entering, with rocks crumbling down from the top. the screen shakes and there are audible rumbling sounds all around you. characters such as bloodhound comment on this, saying "the ground shakes beneath us... i fear we are not prepared for change" (and things along those lines.)

YEA thats all of them. lmk if i missed anything! love u

[pandastern]

Gravity (Bakugo x OC)

Part 4: Different Convictions (past)

Bakugou x Vigilante!OC

Warnings: angst, explicit language, violence

Word count: 2433

Genre: enemies to lovers ; angst ; romance

When a new student makes an entrance, Bakugou has a real bad feeling. There is something about this girl that just doesnt feel right. From the flaming hair to the calculating glint in her green eyes, everything about her just pisses him off.

Little does he know that his fate is intertwined with the person he despises so much, defining his future path in a way he would have never expected.

“Fuck…”

Artemis sat in the courtyard at the back of the school, her arms dipped into the cool water of the decorative fountain UA had built to make the space more… decorative.

The cool water soothed the growing ache in her body. Her arms and hands, in particular, hurt from the overuse of her quirk. Artemis sighed deeply. In her head, the fight played again and again. She had lost control. She had become so close to breaking the rules she had given herself. Disgust spread through her gut until she felt like she had to gag.

No, she couldn't let that happen ever again. 

“Artemis?” The low, rumbling voice of her homeroom teacher made her flinch.

“Mr Aizawa.” She sighed and shook her head, dunking her arms deeper into the cold water.

Aizawa narrowed his eyes at his new student. He could clearly see the burns on her skin. “So...are you just going to sit there, sulking like a child, or are you going to tell me what happened there?” he said, sighing deeply, his lazy drawl making his voice deeper. “If your arms are burned, you need to see Recovery Girl.”

“No, I'm fucking fine. I don’t need help, thank you very much. Leave me alone,” Artemis hissed through gritted teeth.

“Ah, I see,” Aizawa replied dryly. “It's practically normal to forcefully rip out a whole school’s water supply in mere seconds.”

Sitting down next to her, he crossed his arms and gave Artemis a stern look. Her eyes flickered up to him, a myriad of emotions passing through those green orbs. Suspicion, anger, fear… He had seen these kinds of eyes before.

“Miss Moon, I’m giving you one last chance to tell me. I won’t ask again.”

Her jaw clenched. Aizawa kept his unflinching eyes on her, studying every movement. Finally, she let out a ragged breath.

“Yeah well… I got angry. I lost control. Shit happens!” she growled, evading his gaze. “Are you going to expel me? Give me detention?”

Her last words sounded more like a challenge than anything else. So much defiance in such a small body.

“No. Here at UA, we dont expel students for accidents,” Aizawa responded. “The principal won’t be pleased and the school will be without water for a while, but what is the city’s tax money is for.”

With a sigh, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a can of iced coffee from one of his pouches, opening it casually and taking a sip.

“In any case, it wasn’t just a one way attack. Rest assured that Bakugou will be reprimanded for his reckless behavior, as well. Whether you like it or not, if you want to be a hero, you will have to learn how to work and rely on others, even If you don’t see eye-to-eye with them.”

“Eye-to-eye? Sure, that’ll happen.” Artemis scoffed and looked up at him. “Relying on others... Funny you should say that considering you prefer to work alone, Eraserhead.”

Ah. So she had done her research before coming to this place. 

“Regardless, I am able to work with my colleagues seamlessly should the need arise. A hero has to be able to do both. If you can’t, you die. Simple as that.”

Aizawa could clearly tell that this stubborn girl in front of him wouldn’t crack. Not now, anyway. He sensed that there was something lingering under the surface of those deep green eyes that were way too old to belong to a 15 year old girl. He sighed.

“In any case, I would prefer that an incident like this does not happen again. The paperwork is horrendous. Am I understood, Miss Moon?”

Artemis swallowed and nodded. Shadows passed through her eyes, as if she’d just evaded grave danger. “Yes, sir. Sorry… about the pipes.”

Aizawa nodded and got up with a groan. “All right. Get yourself cleaned up and go home. Tomorrow won’t be any easier.”

As he walked away, he couldn't help but shake his head. There was something so strange about this girl, but he couldn't put his finger on it yet. He would have to keep his eyes on her in the future. For now, though, he had to prepare the rescue training trip the school had planned for his class for tomorrow.

Artemis sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. The sensation of the shaved side of her head still felt so incredibly unfamiliar to her. After her fight with Bakugou, she’d tried to save what was left, but she’d ended up having to finally admit to herself that the only thing she could do was shave off the burnt hair and give herself an undercut. 

Class 1A was currently boarding a bus to an external training facility. The flame-haired girl watched as their class rep Iida ushered every single student into the vehicle with ridiculous hand gestures while continuously blowing into his coach whistle like a caricature of a flight attendant. Artemis couldn't help but roll her eyes. It wasn’t that Iida was a bad person - in fact, he was as straight cut as a hero could be - but the boy was so much of a stickler it was tiring. 

When it was her turn to board, she let herself fall into the seat next to Kaminari and Sero and stared out of the window. She’d managed to lose herself in thought, when the scent of burnt sugar and nitroglycerin suddenly flooded her senses. Great.

“Heh, nice hair cut,water hazard,” came the smug, taunting voice of Bakugou Katsuki.

A quiet groan escaped her lips and she looked up. Crimson eyes stared down at her in a silent challenge. Hadn’t he had enough already?

“Ah, what a glorious day for you to remind everyone what a giant piece of shit you are. Congratulations, boom boom boy,” she replied with the sweetest smile she could muster. “Don’t worry, we know! No need to prove yourself.”

If looks could kill, she would have been dead this instant.

A small smirk tugged at the corners of her lips. Artemis would have thought that getting almost shot in the face should have been enough to deter him from any further attempts to get a rise out of her. Seemed like she was wrong, though she’d be lying if she said she was disappointed.

“Tch. You little… I'm gonna kick your ass!” Bakugou spat.

“Oh, really?” Artemis chuckled. “That’s funny, considering that I wiped the fucking floor with your sorry ass yesterday.”

Ah, there it was. The blood vessel at Bakugou’s temple. Artemis couldn't help but smirk.

“You just got fucking lucky! Next time I’m gonna break you in half, trust me,” the ash blonde growled with gleaming eyes.

“Move along. No fighting on the bus. And hurry, we don’t have all day.” Aizawa’s voice cut through the tension before Artemis could retort.

As Mr Anger Issues walked along, grumbling something under his breath, Artemis rolled her eyes again. She really wasn’t in the mood for this today.

“God, I hope this guy gets diarrhoea for the rest of his goddamn life,” she muttered, directing her gaze towards the window again.

A snort next to her caught her attention. Kaminari gave her a mischievous wink and nudged her and Sero in a conspiring way

“You mean… explosive diarrhoea?” he snickered.

The image of that cracked Artemis up. “Well, as a quirk, it would suit him even better.”

“Ahem!” Aizawa’s warning voice cut them off.

“S-sorry, sir…” Kaminari muttered and scratched the back of his head.

Artemis sighed. There were a few things that she’d have liked to say, but she knew that Aizawa would be so quick to get on her back that it wasn’t worth it. At least at this moment.

“So, rescue training, huh?” Sero started in an attempt to change the subject. “I’m pretty sure they’re gonna divide us into teams again, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I think so, too. Artemis, you haven’t been in our other training sessions. Are you excited?” Denki asked, giving her a flirty wink.

Artemis chuckled softly. “Well…” She considered how best to word her response. “I’m… curious to see how it’s gonna work. Teamwork is always a challenge. It depends on who you’re in a group with, and who you’re up against.”

“That's true. Personally I’d rather not get paired up with Bakugou or Todoroki,” Sero said with a sigh.

“Ungh, yes,” Denki chimed in. “Don’t get me wrong, they are super hard hitters. But Bakugou is, well, Bakugo, and Todoroki freezes your ass If you're not useful. Bet you I’m gonna end up with one of them.”

That made artemis perk up. “Freeze you? So, ice powers… That is interesting. If I were paired up with him, I could most likely use his quirk as ammunition,” she said more to herself than to the boys next to her.

“I wouldn’t press my luck if I were you. He’s… not a team player. If you're not up to his standard and deemed useless, he’s gonna consider you dead weight and take you out,” Sero said, scratching the back of his head.

“Well, I’m not good at many things, but I certainly ain’t useless in a fight,” Artemis scoffed. “Though I do share his sentiment. Someone who can’t pull their weight in a fight is a liability. Taking them out of the equation is the easiest way to ensure success.”

“Damn, that’s… kinda badass?” Denki said a little nervously. “I didn't pick you for a solo player…”

Artemis shifted in her seat so she could face the boys next to her better. She could clearly see the naive sentiment in their eyes. Usually, the wide-eyed believed that teamwork made the dream work and everything was gonna be all right with ‘friendship’. Not exactly something she could ever understand.

“It’s not badass, it’s common sense,” she said, crossing her arms. “I’m not dying just because someone can’t pull their own weight. The mere wish of wanting to help without the skill to do so does more harm than good. So, best to get out of the way and let those who actually don’t mind getting their hands dirty do the work. This isn’t a game. You either fight and win, or you die. And a dead soldier is a useless soldier. Simple as that.”

That she even had to spell that out to a group of people who were set on becoming the future heroes of tomorrow made her blood boil. The oh-so-familiar steel inside her soul stiffened her posture and she sighed.

“Heroes nowadays spouting about teamwork and ‘oh, happy friends, let’s work together to create a dream’ is utter nonsense, if you ask me. It’s too easy to forget that this isn’t a popularity game. It’s a job. A job that can cost lives if it isn’t done right. No-one gives a fuck about how popular you are if you can’t do your job. Teamwork is only sensible if it’s beneficial for every party involved. It has to be result-oriented. Teamwork just for the sake of teamwork is stupid.”

Artemis ran a hand through her hair and directed her gaze out of the window again.

“That’s why I prefer to work alone. I know my abilities and I know myself. It’s nothing personal.”

The sudden uncomfortable silence that spread around her was something Artemis had not expected. Had she said something wrong? Looking back at Kaminari and Sero, she frowned. Both of them stared at her with their mouths slightly agape.

“What?” Artemis asked, confused. “Why are you both looking at me like I kicked a puppy in the face?”

“Dude,” Kaminari began, clearing his throat. “That’s… kinda harsh? Is that how you work over there in Europe?”

“Yeah… I mean, we are classmates. We gotta stick together. Who can we rely on if not on our friends?” Sero asked.

Artemis sighed again. “That's exactly what I meant. Yes, we’re classmates, but what does that really mean? Teaming up should essentially be dependent on the skills of each party that can work together to accomplish a goal. Whether you’re classmates or not has no part in it. For educational purposes, it might make sense, but in the real world, teaming up just for convenience will most likely turn deadly.”

“Sounds to me like you’re either scared shitless and don’t trust anyone, or you think you’re better than everyone else and arrogant enough to believe no-one can match you,” Bakugou interjected with a nasty smirk from his seat down the bus.

Artemis’s eyes narrowed at the angry blonde. He wasn’t as thick-headed as she’d thought in the beginning. It seemed that he was not only an excellent fighter, but also very perceptive. A dangerous combination. 

“Big talk coming from you, Mr I’m-Better-Than-You,” Artemis purred, leaning forward and focusing her eyes on him like a predator on its prey. “You pretend to be hot shit every day, Katsuki Bakugou, but what can you do exactly? Be loud and do more damage than necessary? My guess is you're overcompensating because you know you ain’t shit.”

“Tch, as if. Don’t act like you know anything about me, you sorry excuse of a squirt gun,” he spat and turned away in his seat.

Something told Artemis that she had hit the target quite well.

The bus came to a halt, and the conversations of the class became louder as a big glass dome came into view. Aizawa rose from his seat.

“All right, class, quiet down. I’m not gonna say it again.” He crossed his arms. “The pro hero Thirteen is gonna wait for you inside. I am expecting you to be on your best behaviour. I will not tolerate any stupidity, or I will make you all train after class ‘till you drop. Is that clear?”

The students hummed in agreement and started to get off the bus.

Aizawa’s dark eyes fell on the newest addition to his class. What he’d overheard her say on the bus ride made him feel slightly uneasy. While she had made some sensible points, her apathy concerning teammates and the people around her was concerning. It was a dangerous, slippery path that could easily go in the wrong direction. He would have to have a conversation with her about that, but something told Aizawa he’d have to be smart about it. Artemis had so many walls up, she may as well have been a high security prison.

He wondered what kind of life this child had lived up to that point that could possibly have made her that way.

[softforcal]

Don't know if it's boring, but I can't stop thinking about hc's for Slytherin!reader, who ends up being really good at quidditch and joining the team. ash and cal (I can't pick their houses) are super into her because she's so cool and powerful, and they're always trying to show off in the games against her, but end up being super distracted all the time. And then one day the reader gets hurt in the game just to open her eyes and find the two waiting for her to wake up ending with poly!cashton

Cashton x Slytherin!Reader

-this concept is a mood so im so happy you sent it in babe

-okay so Slytherin!Reader

-Slytherin Ash ( @irwinkitten convinced me on this, more on it to come later)

-and fuck it lets go Hufflepuff Cal because i’ve never written him as a squishy lil puff

-okay, so from year one it was obvious you were going to be a force to be reckoned with on a broom

-we’re talking you being team captain, chosen for first line and you being on the pitch for almost the entirety of every game

-you are breathtaking to watch

-you really push your team to be the best it can be, and on the flip side, teams you play against really make an effort against you because you’re the one to beat

-Ashton plays his absolute best because he loves the way you praise him after a good match

-the two of you are probably the best players on the team and your house is completely in love with the both of you

-Hufflepuff!Calum is also a team captain

-he respects you a lot because even he has to admit you’re amazing

-whenever he’s not playing and you are, he watches from the stands, eyes on you the entire game because you’re just brilliant

-and whenever he’s playing against you, he kind of lives for post match talks as the two of you walk to the change rooms because as captains, you’re both really civil and it’s important that you are sportsman-like

-its game day, Slytherin vs Hufflepuff

-you and Ash walk into the great hall and sit at your table, the table erupting in a small cheer because their two star Quidditch players have arrived

-Cal watches you from the Hufflepuff table with Hufflepuff!Michael and Gryffindor!Luke

-breakfast continues, Cal’s eyes shifting to you every now and again

-as you and Ash are leaving the great hall you stop by the Hufflepuff table, “hey Cal, hope you’re at your best today, I think it’s going to be a good one.”

-he grins, a blush rising in his cheeks, “hope you’re feeling at your best, you’ll need to be to beat us today.”

-”ouch, a Hufflepuff with teeth? im shocked.” you laugh, leaving with Ashton who is somewhat indifferent to the whole thing

-after all, you and Cal are captains so the fact that you’re civil is, again, not a shock

-it reaches game time and all of you shake hands before the match

-(i just realized, i dont know if this is a thing in other places? in Canada we do this before soccer games? or after? i don’t know. lol. go with it i guess.)

-Cal’s hand shake lasts a little longer, his smile a little bigger

-as soon as you’re all on your brooms you’re in game mode and you are sexy as fuck

-the game starts and you were right about it, this game is definitely the kind of game that has everyone on the edge of their seats

-you’re racing around and Ashton gets just a tad too distracted. it’s never happened before. he’s a little off his game since the morning when you talked to Cal, he tried to make it seem like it didn’t bug him but he had to admit the Hufflepuff!captain was getting under his skin

-and then it happens

-a bludger barrels towards you, you swerve and it narrowly misses a full impact but still clips your broom, sending you off balance and falling towards the ground

-the entire crowd screams and as you hit the ground everything goes black

-the next thing you know you’re waking up in a hospital bed

-you let out a groan and this signals the guys on either side of you to speak, “Y/N don’t try to move-” “Y/N it’s all my fault.”

-”one at a time.” you say, your team captain voice emerging even in your state

-you blink away the blurriness to see Ashton on your left and Cal on your right

-”what happened?” you ask

-Calum opens his mouth to speak but Ashton gets there first, “a bludger knocked you from your broom. it’s my fault. i should have been watching you. you hit your head and went unconscious. i’m really sorry Y/N.”

-”it wasn’t his fault.” Calum tries to explain, “we all know Hufflepuff has one of the best beaters in the school. you couldn’t have gotten there in time mate.”

-Ashton looks to Calum and his expression softens, as does his grip on your hand that you hadn’t realized he had

-they both have one of your hands

-”who won?” you ask.

-this makes them both laugh in relief, because of course that would be your next question.

-”you fell and got escorted off the pitch, everyone was really distracted after that, Slytherin just couldn’t play without their captain-” Calum begins to explain.

-”Just say it Cal, you caught the snitch.” you laugh slightly before wincing, pulling your hand away from Cal to touch your head, finding a bandage there, “is a bandage really necessary?”

-”Pomfry says you’ll be fine in an hour or so.” Ashton answers, taking a bit of enjoyment in the fact that you let go of Cal’s hand not his

-you sigh, putting your hand down again on top of Calum’s and Ashtons enjoyment fades

-”thank you both for being here, Calum you did your duty as opposing Captain so if you have better things to be doing, i understand.” you say finally

-”i’ll stay… if that’s okay with you.” Calum says

-so they both stay and you try to kill time while waiting for the hour to be up so Pomfry will let you leave

-”so what’s with the two of you holding my hands?” you ask, “sorry i’m still a little loopy.”

-”liar.” Ashton laughs, avoiding the question

-Calum’s thumb starts to rub the top of your hand and this soft Hufflepuff is just like “i don’t know about Ashton, but i’m holding your hand because i think you’re a bad ass but even bad asses need comfort sometimes.”

-and of course Ashton needs to say something but like: “well how the fuck am i supposed to follow up after that?”

-you all laugh

-Pomfry telling you you’re good to go and can change back into your clothes out of the hospital gown

-you leave to go do that and while you’re gone Ashton and Calum are both just like “you’re into her arent you?” “yeah you too?” “yeah.” “fuck.”

-”well i’m in her house-” “opposites attract.”

-”i’m going to ask her out.” “me too.” “okay.” “sort this out later?” “yeah.”

-but as soon as you get back Cal is like “Y/N let me buy you a drink at The Three Broomsticks to celebrate your recovery.” and Ashton rolls his eyes like “easy for the match winner to say. i’m coming too.”

-the three of you walking down to the Three Broomsticks

-you almost slipping on ice and they both steady you immediately, grabbing your hands

-you all laugh, “maybe you hit your head harder than we thought, i’ve never seen you this clumsy.” Cal grins

-”and you spend a lot of time watching me?” you tease

-him and Ashton both stop laughing immediately and you know you’ve hit a nerve

-”okay what is up with you two today?” you laugh, “i mean the hand holding, and the bickering, and now drinks?”

-”we both like you.” Ashton sighs, causing the Hufflepuff to flush completely

-”both of you?”

-”yeah.”

-realizing you’re still holding both of their hands

-both of their hands

-how the fuck would you choose when having both of them just feels right?

-”polyamory.” you blurt. they both stare at you, “you know, dating two people?”

-they look at each other then at you and you’re all surprised when Cal says “i could be okay with that.” “me too.”

-your grip tightens around their fingers as the two of you walk to get drinks

-you all just talk, mostly about Quidditch

-a few people in The Three Broomsticks coming over to see how you are because practically everyone was at the game in the morning

-Gryffindor!team captain Luke and Hufflepuff Michael walk in and immediately come over, “Y/N, glad to see you’re doing better.” Luke beams, “just wouldn’t be the same kicking Slytherin ass next weekend without you leading the uphill battle.”

-Gryffindor!team captain Luke is a cocky shit

-”keep talking Hemmings, that way when we kick your ass it will be even funnier.” Ashton grins.

-”ouch.” Luke says, taking a seat at the table, “you sure about that Irwin?”

-”you can’t sit with us.” Calum states. shocking all of you again.

-”wow Puff, you letting these Slytherins corrupt you?” Luke laughs

-”don’t call him Puff.” Ashton interjects

-Luke looking between the three of you and then he realizes, “this isnt just a friendly post match drink is it?”

-Ashton opens to his mouth then closes it, he looks at Cal and they both look at you

-”we’re on a date.” you state.

-”the three of you? are on a date?” Luke repeats, looking between all of you, i mean he kinda guessed it but hearing you say it is a whole other ball park

-”yeah. and what about it?” you ask, crossing your arms. Ashton laughs, crossing his arms too and finally Cal crosses his arms and you all stare down Luke

-two snakes and a badger staring down a Lion

-”well i’ll leave then.” Luke says, finally breaking and standing to leave

-as soon as he’s gone you and Ashton turn to Calum, “wow, look at you Puff, who knew you could be so intimidating.” Ashton grins.

“i thought you said not to call me Puff.” Calum asked.

-”i’m allowed to call you Puff.” Ashton states ”how did you even end up in Hufflepuff?” Ashton asks, “besides the tendency to blush.”

-Calum shrugs, “guess i’m just a softy. you’ll see.” he winks at you

-the three of you laugh and the bill comes…. so who pays? both of them pay for you which means the tip is enough to buy an entire extra drink

-this is an interesting triad

-because Ash is a dom but he’s not the Slytherin team captain, you are

-and Cal is a dom, a little softer, but he’s the Hufflepuff team captain

-and you are a force to be reconned with as the Slytherin team captain

-so a lot of different power dynamics

-you and Ash walk Cal back to his dorm

-you go in for a hug and kiss his cheek but as you both pull away slightly you find yourselves going in for the full kiss

-its soft, very Hufflepuff, pure and sweet

-smiling when you pull away

-him saying goodnight to you and Ashton

-Ashton’s arm going over your shoulders as you walk, “aw, you’re blushing Captain. didn’t realize you’d have such a soft spot for a Hufflepuff.”

-”you seemed pretty sweet on him too Ash.” you point out

-Ash scoffs but remains silent

-walking past some Slytherins and they all whistle because you and Ash have been the Slytherin Ship for ages

-he walks you all the way to your room and he pulls you to his chest, “gotta admit, seeing you and Hood was kinda hot.”

-”just kinda?”

-he laughs, one hand coming up and cupping your face as his lips press against yours. his other arm wraps around your waist as he clutches you close, hand sliding down to your bum and making you giggle as you pull away, “okay Ash, that’s enough.”

-he grins, “you sure you’re feeling okay?”

-”yeah my head’s fine i think. Pomfy fixed me up.”

-”okay, but if you need anything or you can’t sleep, come grab me okay?”

-another quick kiss and then you enter your dorm

-the girls you share a room with are all freaking out, “so you were with Ashton and Calum?!” they all scream

-”yeah, my head is fine, thanks for asking.” you laugh

-”that poor Puff, he’s going to be crushed when you choose Ashton.” one of them sighs.

-”he won’t because i’m not choosing.” you state, collapsing in bed

-a thousand questions. the Slytherin girls all think Calum is hot, i mean, everyone does, but he’s a Hufflepuff? they are shook

-And Ashton is cool with it? they are shook

-you, Ash and Calum meeting up the next morning for breakfast and Calum is kinda just like “is it bad i’m happy you got injured? i mean, i’m not happy you got injured but you got injured and now-”

-”we get it Cal.”

-he blushes so much

-he’s so soft

-you have a bit of a headache but you’re a strong Slytherin and you’re not about to go to the infirmary so your guys walk you up to your dorm room, all your room mates are gone so you all just chill

-lying on the bed with your legs dangling off the side so the three of you can fit

-Ashton teases the shit out of Calum

-and Calum kinda takes it but you see him coming more and more out of his Hufflepuff shell to reveal a few Slytherin traits buried underneath

-”i know a great cure for a headache.” 

-one thing leads to another and soon you’re pressed between them as Ashtons hands wander your bum and Calum’s unbutton your shirt

-Ashton takes the dom position which is actually kinda funny because you and Cal are the captains

-”just for the record, i am not calling either of you Captain.” Ashton says as hes helping you wiggle out of your pants

-”yeah, i’m more into Sir. or Daddy.” Cal agrees

-you and Ashton being shocked by him

-he just keeps shocking you both

-your sweet, soft, Hufflepuff is dirtier than either of you imagined

-Cal’s kinda a Slytherin in the sheets a Hufflepuff in the streets?

-like and and Ash riff off of each other and it’s mind blowing

-so there’s like no space on the bed after but you all somehow manage

-this is where Soft Hufflepuff Cal comes out

-running his fingers over your skin

-sweet kisses

-but Ashton is a Slytherin so he just watches

-he thinks it’s sweet af

-you all hearing your room mates coming up the stairs and you all freak out, Ashton is fastest throwing clothes on so he jumps out of the bed and goes out the door to intercept them

-your room mates all freaking out at seeing a shirtless Ashton Irwin in front of their bedroom door

-but they’re Slytherins and they can be savage, “aw, did your Captains send you out here to play guard dog?”

-ouch, that one hurts

-Ashton opens the door for them and Cal is still looking for his shirt, he freezes at the group of Slytherin girls ogling him

-he picks up a shirt and throws it on and runs away with Ashton laughing

-Ashton comes in and is more comfortable with it, finding his shirt, then he realizes “that damn Puff took the wrong shirt.”

-that shirt becomes the shirt you all share

-so Ashton is a typical Slytherin and he is loyal as fuck

-no one can rip into Calum ever again

-or Ashton will fight them

-and Calum is the softest muffin so he brings so much love and warmth

-a bad ass but super soft triad

-and ya’ll are a force on the Quidditch Field

-the three of you using the Quidditch change room for sinful things

-practicing Quidditch together

-good luck kisses

-good luck kisses followed by “break a leg.” “you’d like that wouldn’t you?” “yeah cuz then we’d win.”

-but always being happy for whoever wins when you play against each other

-and amazing post quidditch match sex after winning games

-aggressive, pent up, angry sex after losing games

-your teams getting super rowdy about love bites and scratch marks

-the Hufflepuffs being kinda weird about the fact that their golden boy is dating two Slytherins

-Hufflepuff hearts breaking everywhere the day Cal first refers to you as his girlfriend and Ashton as his boyfriend

-also hearts melting though

-the Slytherins being kinda like “wtf.” about it because you’re dating not only a Hufflepuff, but a super sweet team captain Hufflepuff?

-but no one would ever accuse you of going soft

-if anything, you and Ash are even more hard core because you have someone (someones) to protect so fiercely

-Ash is the king of being sneaky so he always finds places for quickies

-people getting used to seeing Ashton dragging you dragging Calum through the halls

-Quidditch afterparties where the three of you are waaay too rowdy

-Ashton loves PDA, Cal is not as into it because he always becomes a blushing mess but that just leads to more kissing and face squishing

-closets barely fit two let alone three

-Calum falling out of broom closets more than once 

-i kinda love this

-i mean, ya’ll should know by now how much of a slut i am for Cashton

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 3 (Cont.)

“aight fellas im here for the fortnite session where we droppin boys”

Hibiki shows up, ready to participate in this four player game of sociological tension.

“hope hibiki’s doing okay. im worried about her. ryoko, stop resting your arm on my head.”

“ryoko does as ryoko pleases baby”

Vibrates angstily.

“im missing my wife for this guys please lets just do this”

“wish i had a wife too instead of this vase filled with fucking ashes” SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORP

The squad analyzes the statistics of all Noise outbreaks over the last month to see if there’s a pattern somewhere. Somehow, Hibiki is regarded as an authority on this, despite being just a normal girl.

This is not the face of someone who has a degree in Noisology, let alone even listened to a Noisia album.

“looking photogenic while this girl describes how these horrible, lovecraftian entities butcher entire populations will look great on my acting resume”

Strained sounds of holding back laughter at this absolute clownery.

*coughs quietly*

Exposition goes on about the UN acknowledging the existence of Noise, but them existing for far longer, existing in myths as demons and monsters of long ago. This makes little sense, but fuck it, just roll with it. They also say the Noise is rare, but this being Symphogear, the Noise will be here forever, until the end of time.

“its like the noise are a metaphor........................”

Hibiki, looking dead inside as the average overnight studying student would, muses whether someone is behind the noise. She also asks if you can hear the sound of one hand clapping.

Tsubasa makes a very relevant observation that the school is smack dab at the center of all these outbreaks. In retrospect, you probably should have asked her first. She points out it may be because someone wants their get their hands on the almost complete relic hidden away in the 2nd Division: Durandal. Why anyone wants an old ass french sword is beyond me.

“yeah i can do exposition too, fuck you”

Finished relics are extremely rare and as a result extremely powerful. Incomplete ones are pretty powerful, but need to be rebuilt a bit.

“i discovered all this, conveniently, as the only person left to do so! totally not suspicious at all.”

“anime plot hurting brain. bullshit levels make think no good.”

“wish i got hired for a macross anime instead, they get to go to space”

“being meguca is suf- wait, im confusing my roles”

The exposition goes on to note that America wants the relic. This is one of the few shows that depicts America in a very serious and antagonistic light. America never cooperates in any useful way except once.

“it should would suck if someone was sending us them noise monster all on purpose-like”

“yeah............! suuuuuure would suck.... mmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm...”

Tsubasa and Ogawa quietly plan idol ruminations. This animation used to be far, far worse.

This is the moment where Tsubasa becomes sword-kin. From here on out, she will always refer to herself as a sword. This is law. Literally every single season has this same deal. She believes she is a sword. I know it’s not literal, but I like pretending it is.

Succ Intensifies

“gonna get her number later after the season is over, damn”

Hibiki muses on the nature of war.

“why we gotta fight”

“cause yall suck”

Ryoko then says some very not nice things that we’re just going to walk right around because Ryoko is a little bit of a weirdo and should probably keep her flirting to the short haired lady working on the bridge.

“i will call the cops, lady”

Hibiki starts her next day at school as she spots Tsubasa during her choir class.

“forget my nintendo switch with the latest smash bros game in the classroom goddamnit”

“hibiki please tone down the gay for five seconds while we try to get through this dumb singing class in one piece”

“i smell a homewrecker”

“THE GAY CAN NEVER BE TONED DOWN, IT CAN ONLY BE TONED”

Hibiki is then fed by multiple classmates for this statement.

The Anime Janai crew is fond of Hibiki, much like a group of Lords being fond of the royal court jester. Hibiki clowns it up by working on a report she procrastinated until the very last minute. “Your life sure is an anime!”, one of them says. Hibiki then says, “I wish!”. They smile in unison at the irony.

Look at how they mock the threads of reality. Absolute monsters.

Hibiki nails the report at the skin of her teeth, Miku’s gonna get ready for the meteor shower, everyone’s real fucking happy, the evening looks peaceful, all is well.

“i cant wait to do all these fun things we promised several times over!”

Unfortunately, the worst case scenario happens.

Her tiddies start ringing.

“no.... fuck.... my tiddies... they’re ringing...”

She knows now she cannot go.

In retrospect, she probably could’ve blown them off. I mean, what are they gonna do? Fire her? She’s practically irreplaceable. Alas, her conscience is too strong. The ringing from her tiddies too loud to ignore.

“okay im back for the thing you promised we’d do repeatedly that we planned for a good amount of weeks now”

“...”

“i got fucking ghosted didnt i”

“cannot fucking believe i got ditched on my hot date with hibiki. bet its because her tiddies rang, isnt it. always her and her... GODDAMN tiddies ringing ALL THE TIME. LET ME BE WITH HER... god...”

“bae. im sorry. the tiddies rang. i have no choice.”

Miku tries to keep it together. Neither of them are happy about this state of affairs, and rightfully so, because it’s fucking stupid. Hell, it would have made more sense of Miku knew but still got jealous anyway, because she feels her job is establishing too much distance! And they talk those problems out instead of issues that only arise if everyone’s a goddamn moron about communication!

“but thats the point of the pl-”

NO! IT’S NOT CLEVER! IT’S FRUSTRATING! THERE ARE CLEVER WAYS TO SHOW A LACK OF COMMUNICATION BESIDES A CHAIN OF OBSTACLES TOO STUPID TO EXIST!

Miku takes the whole thing with grace even though I’m absolutely certain she threw her phone at the wall in raw, gay frustration.

Hibiki, understandably, is pretty fucking pissed.

“im gay. im angry, and im gonna fuck yall up for RUINING MY DATE AFTER HAVING FINISHED MY DAMN REPORT”

Hibiki fights the Noise. She’s gotten slightly better at fighting, but for now she’s still sorta trash at it. A grape themed Noise throws bombs and crushed her under rocks from a ceiling.

You’re a student. You’re the lone survivor of a concert that you got flak about for years. You go to an institution for singing with your best friend and basically get shoved into a life of crime fighting unwittingly. Your only teammate hates you and tried to kill you. You don’t get to hang out with your best friend anymore. Your teachers hate you. And you’re losing against the abominations that may have potentially warped your life negatively, forever.

This is probably the pivotal moment where Hibiki fucking snaps and decides she ain’t taking shit anymore. She’s not at her strongest yet, but mentally? She has decided to tell the world to go fuck itself.

“MY WIFE THINKS IM CHEAAAAAATING, MY TEAMMATE THINKS I SUUUUUUUUUCK, AND I’M SICK AND TIRED OF IT”

My, Hibiki, what big fangs you have. All the more to grit your teeth and beat the shit out of things with, I assure you.

Needless to say, even without having the skill, she’s starting to understand and get more comfortable with the full extent of the power her suit provides her.

She’s gotten so mad that even the illustrators are afraid of her.

To note: this isn’t just anime drama silhouette stylization. She is actually physically turning into a red eyed shadow. You’ll know why later down the road.

“YOU WANNA FUCKIN FIGHT ME NOW TSUBASA? HUH? HUH? YOU WANNA FUCKIN’ FIGHT ME?!”

Needless to say, her rampage goes on for a while.

She manages to dispatch all the Noise except for the Grape themed one. Up in the hole it made, she sees the meteor fall from the sky...

Wait, look closer. Is it a bird?

A plane?!

No, it’s...!

“i aint gonna tell her i just did a wish on her”

Sword!

“why the fuck does SHE get jetpacks?!”

Hibiki randomly yells out she wants to protect things too, for absolutely no real reason. Who would even break the ice with that. Hibiki, please.

They sorta stare each other down in a field awkwardly, like a bad high school reunion. But, a mysterious voice breaks out of literally fucking nowhere.

“didnt know they legalized gay marriage in japan already, otherwise id be showing up to this joke of a marriage sooner, you absolute buffoons”

“did this bitch just insinuate id waste my time getting married to this complete idiot, let alone even contemplate getting married in a public park as opposed to having a customized karaoke based marriage in the FUCKING HILTON?!”

“hey time out dont say that shit im already married and my wife already feels enough like im cheating so please keep those comments to yourself okay please”

“eat my ass, nerds. id tell you to come to the park in 15 minutes for an ass kicking...

but we’re already here, now aren’t we?”

[emilywatchescursedshow]

SPN S2 E5 - Simon Said

bong in the title card, great shit.

It's hot, I'm on edge, I'm hungry, time to eat and watch some spn instead of cleaning my dump of a room. It has been a WEEK and it's still not DONE yet hrhrhrh ok here we go

I'm skipping the recaps I don't care if they're indicative of anything I don't care how they're edited

We get a MOTW cold open!! Some phones, some guns, oh is this like that one xfilhosnuthastuhtematns (taze her again)

Oh jesus love suicide

Sam's wet

So we're establishing that Sam has a psychic connection to the demon. Also that the Roadhouse is the new, like dad's journal or something?

I ship Sam and Ash honestly

Oh right Sam got kicked off of never broke a bone last episode (his arm is in a cast) it's very generic arm cast and does not look like it would help a broken hand but w/e

He'll do it for.. a PBR

I am also horny for dean w Jo you and I are the same.

Dean knows all the lyrics to this song and is just singing it with no musical accompaniment. I guess this is how we learn he is also horny for jo?

The extras in this episode are struggling a bit. But I know shit about acting.

OH OHKAY SO. the scene they go look at the van, the song that's playing is from the "This Is Spinal Tap" soundtrack, it's not a "real" classic rock song bc Tap is a mock rock band. What a weird pull - I think the music is supposed to be diagetically coming from the car stereo. I guess it's what they could get rights to?

Sam is a demon sleeper agent

Again, why the fuck is this Stonehenge song in here. And why is it playing so obtrusively over this scene.

Didn't dean say he likes this van? Maybe he's the DND nerd.

Dean got jedi mind tricked into giving his car away that's fucking hilarious

What class of crime is pulling the fire alarm

"he full on obi-wanned me"

I guess the Black guy just *had* to die, time for guilty Sam

So Andy murdered Dr. Jennings? OH Andy is the psychic kid. Are we going to get a bunch of homicidal psychic kids. I hope Sam gets to be homicidal at some point, that would be fun. Sam could be a hot bitch killer I think.

Oh it's the bong shot. Reading philosophy like a poser.

Dean you could just go to a diner

This Dean can't help himself talking needs to be in every episode. Honestly it would be amazing if Sam became psychic enough that every time Dean was like "I'm not telling you about this" sam could just flash his little eyebrows and Dean compulsively confesses. I think that would do both of them good. I know that doesn't happen but. Missed opportunity.

Sam's not affected by the psychic thing, that's fun. Sam's abilities are pretty limp tbh.

This is starting to look exactly like the XFiles episode i was thinking of tbh, there's a psychic misderiction there too

So we have compulsion, telekenisis, and visions. I wonder if all the demon children have different powers

Classic "that's impossible" joke

Andy just wants to live in a van and honestly, same.

Oh i wanted to write earlier that I hate hearing Dean call his car baby

Dean is such a fucking nerd.

Evil twin twist. Andy is freaking out

Wait the brothers name is "Anson Weebs" uh what

Oh that's the brother huh.. that wasn't really set up. Also like, why would he kill his parent people

Why.. is she wearing only her slip??

Oh no it was just a vision.

Troubled little meow meow sam winchester

Why is she aware of the mind control?

I guess the brother wants to ruin Andy's life or something?

I could screw with more than just your head dean winchester dont fking... uh...

Oh ok so he's making her strip and then have sex with him this is a family tv show

The effects over the voice commands are a lot.

Psychic brother showdown. They both have to die so Sam is the only special demon child. I'm betting they both go over off the cliff

Oh so I guess this guy is just out of his mind wonderful. The man with the yellow eyes oh it's the demon's fault. That's kind of nice. Oh god is Dean going to snipe the evil brother?

Why did Andy have a gun?????

Yeah I get why the lady wouldn't trust him anymore

Sam not understanding the concept of self defense. "Everyone is capable of murder"

"What are you seven?" a good question. Sam's face at Dean is correct.

Fell on Black Days - I guess they got the rights for this Soundgarden song

Dean is not a team player

So the demon is just behaving randomly... great.