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#as you can see I still don’t know who to tag in these things
faithshouseofchaos · 2 days
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hi i don't think this is a real request but for franco colapinto it's kinda cliche ikr (but i believe in your writing skills so)
older reader (u don't need to specific the age) who refuse to be with franco bc she thinks it's better for him to be with someone close his age, but ofc they're in love and franco is down bad for her even though she's kinda cruel sometimes
so angst with a happy end? or at least something realistic? idk and it's up to u to add other stuff! *oh and they're from the same country or foreigners etc*
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“She calls me kidz bop” — Franco colapinto x fem!reader
Word count 3.5k
Warnings — Angst, heavy makeouts allusion of smut
This isn’t as good as I thought it would be
Tagged— @crispysoup318 @meeel-things @bieberismysoulmate @dejavuontrack @barcelonaloverf1life @nominsgirl @bluebluesol @chenlesbitxh @ironmaiden1313 @chunkpiboli @kr7-i-know-what-im-doing
Franco watched as y/n stood talking to her fellow driver Something deep inside him wished that she gave him the same attention as she did the rest of them. It didn’t matter if they had feelings for each other. It also didn’t matter that she was so cruel to him and gave him nicknames like Kidz Bop, Teeny Bopper, or Rug Rat.
He didn’t mind the teasing or the nicknames, he could take it. He’s used to being teased by others but not by the one he’s falling for, and he didn’t want to admit it but a part of him knew he was slowly concluding that he loved her. Franco leaned against the garage wall, staring at the ground with his hands shoved in his pockets.
He continued to observe y/n’s body language. The way she stood with her arms crossed, the way she laughed at the other driver’s jokes, even the way she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. It was maddening.
Franco clenched his jaw, trying to hold back his frustration. He wanted to speak to her but he was uncertain of what to say. As he watched her, he noticed she was glancing his way. A small smile crept onto his lips as he realized that she was looking his way. He felt a flutter in his chest, a mix of hope and nervousness. He took a deep breath, summoning his courage, and finally stepped forward.
As he approached, he could feel her eyes on him, studying him. He tried to act casually, his hands still in his pockets, but he couldn’t help the way his heart was racing. He cleared his throat, “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”
Y/n turned her attention away from her co-drivers and looked at Franco, raising an eyebrow. “Sure, what do you want?”
Franco swallowed hard, trying to ignore the coolness in her voice. He took a step closer, not caring that they had an audience, “Can we talk somewhere a little more private?”
Y/n nodded, gesturing for him to follow her out of the garage. Once they were alone in a secluded area, she turned to him with her arms crossed. “What's on your mind, kidz bop?”
Franco took a deep breath, trying to ignore the nickname. He knew it was her way of keeping him at arm’s length, but it stung nonetheless. He looked into her eyes, gathering his courage. “I wanted to talk to you about us…”
Y/n’s expression remained neutral, but he could see a flicker of something in her eyes. She raised an eyebrow, “What about us?”
Franco rubbed the back of his neck, nervous. “Well, I just wanted to know…if there’s ever a chance for us?”
Y/n let out a snort, “A chance? Kidz bop, you’re way too young for me. You need to find someone your age.” Franco's heart sank at her words, but he tried to hide his disappointment. “I don’t care about age. I just want to be with you.”
Y/n rolled her eyes, “Yeah, yeah, very romantic. But I’m not interested in dating some kid who still has a curfew. I need someone more mature.” Franco clenched his fists in frustration, “I’m not a kid. I’m just as mature as any other driver out there.”
Y/n raised an eyebrow, “Yeah, sure you are. I bet you still have a teddy bear in your bed and your mom still picks out your outfits.” Franco's cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but he tried to maintain his composure. He couldn’t deny that he had a teddy bear, but he certainly hadn’t asked his mom for fashion advice since he was 12.
“I’m a grown man,” he protested, “Just because I’m a rookie doesn’t mean I’m immature.” Y/n leaned against the wall, still looking unimpressed. “Oh? Prove it then, Teeny Bopper. Show me how mature you are.”
Franco was determined to show her that he wasn’t just some naïve rookie. He took a step closer to her, his heart pounding. “Fine. I’ll prove it to you.”
Y/n raised an eyebrow, intrigued by his sudden confidence. “Alright, I’m listening. Go ahead and impress me, rug rat.” Franco took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He was suddenly keenly aware of how close they were standing to each other. He could smell her perfume, a soft, musky scent that made his head spin.
He looked into her eyes, unflinching. “I’ll prove it by showing you that I’m serious about this. I’m not just some kid who doesn’t know what he wants. I know what I want, and it’s you.” Y/n’s expression softened just a bit. She was impressed by his directness, but still unconvinced. “You’re young, Franco. You don’t know what you want. You just think you do.”
Franco took another step closer to her. “I may be young, but I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I’m done with being treated like a kid. I know what I want, and I’m not going to give up until I get it.” Y/n’s heart skipped a beat at his words, but she tried to maintain her cool facade. “You’re not going to give up, huh? You’re stubborn, aren’t you?”
Franco smirked, feeling a rush of confidence. “I can be when I want something. And I want you.”
He took another step forward, closing the gap between them. He was now standing so close to her that he could feel the heat of her body. Y/n’s breath caught in her throat as he stepped closer. She hadn’t expected him to be so direct. She could feel the heat radiating off of him, and she had to fight the urge to reach out and touch him. But she held her ground, refusing to let him see how her resolve was starting to crumble.
“You don’t even know what you’re getting yourself into, kidz bop,” she teased, but there was a hint of uncertainty in her voice just before she walked away from him. Franco watched her walk away, a mix of frustration and determination coursing through his veins. He knew he had gotten to her this time, he had seen the flicker of uncertainty in her eyes.
He wasn’t going to give up, not until he had proven to her that he was serious. He was in love with her, and he wasn’t going to let her brush him off like some naive rookie.
Once again Franco found himself watching and observing y/n and this time was brought out of his thoughts by a large hand clapping him on the shoulder “You good there Franco?” Charles asked. Franco looked over at him and then back at y/n whose eyebrows were bunched up together and her lips in a thin tight line.
“Yeah I’m good,” Franco answered, looking down at his feet. Charles chuckled at Franco’s obvious lie. He followed Franco’s gaze to y/n, his smirk growing even more as he looked at her. “You have it bad don’t you?” Charles teased. Franco quickly shoved Charles’s arm off him as he gave him a nasty glare.
Charles cackled in response. “I’ve seen the way you look at her. How long are you gonna sit on your ass and not do something?” Charles said.
“There’s a reason why I haven’t,” Franco said, still stubbornly keeping his eyes on y/n.
“Which is?” Charles prompted.
“She’s too old for me,” Franco said. Charles’s jaw dropped.
“Bullshit! She’s what, 26? You’re 21! It’s not that big of an age difference, "he said.
“She thinks it is,” Franco said. Charles shook his head in disbelief at Franco’s stupidity.
“Goddamnit Franco. You’re a pretty handsome kid, why are you letting her have that much control over you? If you feel something for her then do something about it” Charles said.
Franco tore his eyes from y/n to look at Charles “There is something between us. But every time I try to talk to her about it, she shuts it down. Says that she’s too old for me and would rather I find someone my age” he confessed. Charles let out a scoff “She doesn’t mean it. She’s just running away because she doesn’t want to admit her feelings for you” he said.
Franco shook his head. “You don’t know that and besides she’s mean to me and she calls me kidz bop, teeny bopper, or rug rat.”
Charles rolled his eyes “Franco I’ve known y/n for much longer than you being mean to someone is her love language trust me the meaner she is to someone the more she cares for them. She calls me a pretty boy. She calls Fernando an old man. I've seen the way she looks at you. There’s no way she feels nothing.” Franco’s heart skipped a beat at Charles’s words.
“W-what do you mean ‘the way she looks at me’” he asked.
Charles smirked again “I mean you’re constantly in her line of sight whenever you’re in a room. Anytime she’s near you, she always seems to be hyper-aware of it. I don’t think she’s as immune to your charms as she makes herself seem.”
As much as Franco wanted to believe what Charles was telling him it was too hard. He’s seen the way y/n talks to the other drivers. They weren’t like that.
“I get that your old ass has much more relationship experience than I do. But you just don’t understand” Franco muttered, refusing to look at Charles. Charles shook his head at Franco “You’re a lot denser than I thought you were. If you’re gonna waste your opportunity with her then that’s your problem, not mine” he said before he sauntered off, leaving Franco by himself.
Franco stood there, his mind reeling from Charles's words. He couldn't shake the feeling that Charles was right about y/n. That she had feelings for him beneath all her harsh words and belittling nicknames. But he couldn't be sure.
Franco looked over to where y/n was still standing, her expression still tight and cold. He tried to muster up the courage to approach her again, but he couldn’t find the words. He was too overwhelmed by the possibility that she could feel something for him. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for whatever rejection came his way. Franco began to slowly make his way toward her, his heart pounding in his chest. With each step, he felt as though he was walking through mud, his legs refusing to cooperate.
Finally, he stood in front of her, his eyes locked on hers. “Can I talk to you for a second?” he asked, his voice much softer than he had intended.
She looked up at him, her eyes flickering with an unreadable expression. For a moment, he thought she was going to brush him off like she had so many times before.
“Fine. What do you want?” she asked, her voice as icy as ever. Franco swallowed hard, trying to keep his composure. He had practiced all the things he wanted to say in his head, but now that he was standing in front of her, all of his words seemed to have vanished.
He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "I just wanted to talk to you about us." "I know we're colleagues, but there's something more there, isn't there?" he said, his voice betraying a hint of vulnerability.
She paused for a moment, her expression faltering for just a split second before her walls went back up. "Whatever gave you that idea?" she asked, feigning indifference. Franco took a small step forward, closing the space between them. He could feel the heat radiating off of her body, making him heady with desire.
"The way you look at me. The way you always watch me. I know you feel it too. You're just too scared to admit it." Her breath caught in her throat as he neared. She tried to pretend that his words did not affect her, but he could see the subtle change in her breathing, the way her body seemed to gravitate towards him.
"Scared? I'm not scared of anything, least of all you," she retorted, hoping he didn't notice the waver in her voice. "Then prove it," he said, his voice suddenly low and intense. He was so close to her now that he could see the rapid rise and fall of her chest, the way her pulse fluttered in her neck.
He reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from her face, his fingers lingering against the softness of her skin. Her breath hitched at his touch, her eyes fluttering shut for a brief moment. She fought the urge to lean into his touch, to finally give in to the overwhelming amount of tension that hung in the air between them. But she forced herself to take a step back, pulling herself out of his reach. "I don't have anything to prove to you," she said, her voice trembling ever so slightly.
Franco couldn’t help the pang of disappointment that shot through him as she pulled away. He knew he was getting under her skin, but she was still fighting him.
But he had a card he hadn't played yet.
“Then why is this so hard?” he asked, his tone soft and gentle. “If we're just colleagues, then it should be easy for you to turn me down. Right?”
Inwardly, she was cursing his stubbornness. But he was right, and she was losing the battle with herself. She had been trying so hard to keep her feelings locked away, to deny the attraction that was growing hotter and hotter each day.
She tried to come up with a witty retort, but her throat was dry, and her mind was fuzzy. The way he was looking at her, the way he was so sure of himself, it was chipping away at her defenses. He took another step closer, closing the gap between them again. “Come on, admit it. This isn’t just some one-sided thing. You feel it too.”
She could feel his breath on her skin, the heat of his body so close to hers. She thought about denying it, pushing him away once more, but the words wouldn’t come.
Instead, she did the one thing she had promised herself she wouldn’t do.
She melted.
It was as if all the tension and resistance she had built up just disappeared. She found herself leaning into him, her body drawn to his like a magnet.
She looked up at him, her eyes betraying the vulnerability and desire that she had tried so hard to hide. "Franco..." she whispered. The sound of his name on her lips sent a jolt of electricity through his body. He could see the change in her eyes, the way they darkened with emotion.
He moved closer to her, his arms closing around her waist, pulling her against him. He leaned in, his lips hovering just inches from her ear. "Say it. Say you want me." The heat of his body against hers combined with the huskiness of his voice sent shivers down her spine. She closed her eyes, her body molding itself to his.
She took a shaky breath, her voice wavering. "I want you, Franco. Damn it, I want you." A rush of satisfaction and relief washed over him as he heard her words. He’d finally broken through her defenses, and now he had her exactly where he wanted her.
He pulled her even closer, his hands slipping under the hem of her shirt, his fingers tracing the bare skin of her back.
“You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that," he murmured against her neck. She let out a soft gasp as he touched her skin, her body arching into him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, tangling her fingers in his hair.
She had tried to deny it for so long, but now that she had finally given in, it was like an unstoppable force of nature. All she wanted was to be closer to him, to feel him completely. He claimed her mouth in a deep, searing kiss, his body pressing her against the wall. His hands roamed over her skin, exploring every curve and contour of her body. It felt like a dam had broken, and all the pent-up desire that had been building between them was suddenly unleashed.
She returned his kiss with equal fervor, her tongue tangling with his. She ran her hands along his chest, feeling the taut muscles beneath his shirt.
She wanted more, so much more. She was drowning in the sensation of him, losing herself in the heat and the passion of their embrace. Franco pressed himself against her, trapping her between the wall and his body. He broke the kiss, his lips trailing down her neck, nipping and sucking at her skin.
He could feel her coming undone, her body growing more and more pliant against his. He could tell that she wanted him just as much as he wanted her, and it was driving him insane. She let out a desperate gasp as he found a particularly sensitive spot beneath her ear, her hands gripping his shoulders tightly. She couldn't think straight, her mind fuzzy with desire. The only thing that existed at that moment was the feel of his body against hers, the taste of his skin, and the way his hands sent sparks of pleasure dancing over her skin.
He continued to explore her body, his hands drifting down her sides, his fingertips tracing the edge of her waistband. He dipped his head lower, his lips trailing along her collarbone, then down her chest, leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses on her skin. She whimpered and shivered beneath his touch, her body becoming a raw nerve of sensation. Her hips rocked against his, seeking more contact, more friction. She felt like she was on fire, burning up from the inside out.
He could feel her body reacting to his every touch, the way her hips moved against his, the way her hands clutched at his hair, pulling him closer. He could hear the soft gasps and moans escaping her lips, the sound sending a flood of heat straight to his core.
He pulled away just long enough to look at her, his eyes dark and intense.
“God, I love it when you make those sounds,” he said, his voice low and gravelly. The desire in his gaze, the rough rasp of his voice, it was too much for her. She reached up and pulled him back down to her, her lips crashing against his in a fierce kiss.
Her body was overwhelmed by the intensity of her desire for him, the need for him almost unbearable. He met her kiss with urgency, his tongue delving into her mouth, claiming her completely. He pressed himself against her, his body fitting perfectly against hers.
He let his hands slide down to her thighs, lifting her so her legs wrapped around his waist, pinning her against the wall. She wrapped her legs around him, her body flush against his. She could feel every muscle, every contour, every inch of him. She couldn't get enough, she wanted to be even closer.
She tangled her fingers in his hair, holding him tight against her, her tongue exploring his mouth with feverish desperation. He pressed himself harder against her, his body desperate to get even closer to hers. He let his hands slide up to her hips, his fingers digging into the soft flesh.
He broke the kiss, his lips trailing down her neck, his teeth grazing her skin. He wanted to taste every inch of her, to mark her as his. She tilted her head back, exposing her neck to him, her body arching into his touch. A soft moan escaped her lips as he licked and sucked at her skin, his stubble sending sparks of pleasure dancing across her nerve endings. He found a particularly sensitive spot just below her ear, and he lingered there, his lips and tongue working her into a frenzy. He could feel her responding to his touch, her body trembling against his, moans and gasps escaping from her lips.
He nipped and sucked at her skin, leaving a trail of red marks down her neck and collarbone. She was completely undone, her mind consumed with nothing but him and the pleasure he was causing her. Her breath came in ragged gasps, her body writhing against his.
Each flick of his tongue and each press of his lips sent shockwaves of ecstasy through her body, stoking the fire that burned within her. He pulled back slightly, taking in the sight of her - flushed and breathless, completely at his mercy. He wanted to claim her completely, to make her his in every way possible.
He lowered her down just a little bit, his body still pressed close to hers, and he looked into her eyes, his gaze intense and hungry. She gazed up at him, her eyes dark and hooded with desire. Her hair was tousled, and her shirt wrinkled where his hands had been. She looked wrecked already and they'd barely even started.
She met his gaze, her own just as hungry and intense. She wanted him just as badly as he wanted her, and nothing was going to stop them now.
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ain't no love in oklahoma // op81 smau
description: twisters actress!reader x op81 but lando is convinced oscar is lying (from request)
a/n: sorry for being completely inactive. life happened and it didn't happen in a good way! i have a huge exam coming up soon so i will most likely still be inactive besides maybe a few short things here and there. anyways first oscar fic so enjoy! all pics found on pinterest, i don't own any
a/n pt2: might do something fun for each day in october but im not sure what so send me some ideas. also might do some more headcannons/blurbs soon here!
requests: closed but feel free to send me some messages since i love talking to you guys
masterlist
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liked by oscarpiastri, glenpowell, and 2,927,641 others
youruser: go see twisters!! if you don’t, you suck and you better hope you don’t get stuck in a tornado because there’s useful information in our movie
tagged: glenpowell
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oscarpiastri: proud of you!!
↳ youruser: 🧡
glenpowell: caption is so real of you
user1: doesn’t yn have a boyfriend? why is she so close to glen?
↳ user2: yes but probably because there’s limited space. yn isn’t like that
↳ oscarpiastri: exactly what user2 said
landonorris: cute!
↳ user3: what are you doing here??
↳ user4: lando in the comments?
user5: such a good movie
user6: yn + glen = power duo
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liked by youruser, landonorris, and 3,951,750 others
oscarpiastri: proud boyfriend award goes to me 🏆 thx for all the bts selfies
tagged: youruser, glenpowell
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landonorris: i just laughed out loud
landonorris: “boyfriend” lmaooo
↳ user7: i cant tell if he’s joking or serious
user8: cutest couple ever
glenpowell: aww so glad you remembered the time you took me to the aquarium, what a romantic!
↳ youruser: get your own boyfriend capybara
↳ user9: yn CLOCKED him
// lando’s phone//
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//
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liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 4,027,835 others
landonorris: POLE BABYYYY!!! everyone ignore my teammates instagram posts, i have told him to stop. i think he took a hit to the head or something
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oscarpiastri: do you want to go to the farm or not?
↳ landonorris: you already said i could go so no take backs
↳ user10: lando is going to yn's farm??
↳ user11: LANDO'S MEETING YN?!
↳ user12: oh i know he's going to fangirl so hard
user13: get me someone who looks at me the way oscar looks at lando
↳ user14: are we sure that they aren't the ones dating?
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 3,017,426 others
youruser: back home finally! pic 1: yeehaw. pic 2: my cat cora had her babies!!! pic 3: dinner date :)
tagged: oscarpiastri
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user15: CORA HAD HER KITTIES
↳ youruser: i am officially a grandma. i feel the gray hairs coming in now
user16: oscar and yn are endgame
oscarpiastri: the best company
↳ landonorris: STOP, idk how you got her in on this joke either
↳ user16: i can't tell if lando knows they are actually dating and is joking or if he truly does not believe oscar
user17: boyfriend is back on the feed!
↳ user18: farmer yn is back on the feed!
glenpowell: miss you lady
↳ youruser: you miss my animals more
↳ glenpowell: and what about it.
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liked by youruser, oscarpiastri, and 4,209,384 others
landonorris: OMG HE WASN'T LYING i got to feed so many animals, got to channel my inner cowboy, AND get drunk with the yn? i can die a happy man
tagged: youruser
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oscarpiastri: believe me now?
↳ landonorris: never doubted you
↳ user19: lando seriously didn't believe oscar lol
↳ user20: i fully thought he was joking the entire time
user21: how hard did you fangirl to meet yn, lando?
↳ landonorris: surprised i didn't pass out honestly. i facetimed GLEN POWELL
youruser: so glad you had a fun time!!
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liked by youruser, landonorris, and 3,298,361 others
oscarpiastri: everyone clear that this is my girlfriend?
tagged: youruser
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user22: sassy oscar
↳ user23: channeling his inner lando
landonorris: yes sir 🫡
↳ oscarpiastri: stop being weird ?
youruser: MY MANNNNN
↳ user24: oh she's in deep
user25: there is one thing oscar doesn't play about in life: yn
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 4,208,763 others
youruser: didn't even know there was confusion that this was my boyfriend lol
tagged: oscarpiastri
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landonorris: how was i meant to know?!
↳ user26: literally how everyone else knew, instagram.
glenpowell: yn stop posting pics of me and my boyfriend and acting like he's yours
↳ youruser: i dont like this joke.
↳ oscarpiastri: bromance or whatever
↳ user27: they're in a throuple
↳ youruser: ew
↳ glenpowell: disgusting
↳ oscarpiastri: huhhh
user28: couple goals forever and ever
user29: if they don't get married... love isn't real
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bunnis-monsters · 19 hours
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Good morning, I hope you're doing well.
I've been a shy onlooker of your work for quite some time, however as of recently I've been noticing with a couple of the bee-hybrid ficlets that you've been writing, one or two of them that involved (specifically) child/infant characters were tagged with the 'monster fucker' and various such related tags..?
I love the bee stuff, I do! Please don't take this as a hate message because I really don't mean for it to come off as such. But if you're going to include infant/child characters under the age of 18 in your fics, please don't include them in NSFW scenarios, fics, or situations or put them in NSFW tags. I don't think that's entirely legal in some places and I say that out of the goodness of my heart for your protection and your readers.
There was a woman banned off Youtube who was criminally charged for breastfeeding her child and uploading it and I know this is in no way as severe but I honestly don't want to see you get banned and all your fics wiped off tumblr because you put 'minor characters' in NSFW situations/tags. :(
You could try maybe just not tagging the stuff with baby bees?? You have a huge follow base and a discord (that i'm too shy to join) so I'm sure people would still find that content if they're following you.
I'm sorry for bothering you, I hope you have a good day.
Uh.
I tag all of my fics as monster fucking… because that’s the genre. The baby bees are a result of said monster fucking.
I specifically use monster fucking on all of my posts so people who don’t like the monster fucking genre can easily filter my posts out.
I do not include any smut tags like I do on my other posts, and SPECIFICALLY tag them as “monster sfw” or “monster fluff” when I remember.
Not only have I never sexualized or plan on sexualizing the baby bees, if you or anyone else sees anything regarding them as sexual… idk what to say. They’re the most innocent posts on my page.
Read my REQUEST INFO so you can understand that I do not write for pedophilic relationships or situations. The baby bees are children.
I think you’re reading a bit into it. I’m not sure about that case of a YouTuber being banned for breast feeding, but that’s a real person with real children. These are fanfics. There could have been more behind that, and I know for sure there are cases where parents exploit their children on the internet in ways that are in the grey area, like for example, breastfeeding them and sexualizing it purposefully(breastfeeding isn’t inherently sexual, but it can be sexualized and sold as such to an audience) or having them do things that are suggestive for their pedophile audience to continue using them as a cash cow.
This is not that. The baby bees are fictional, and not once have they been sexualized. I am not interested in doing so. They’ll still be under the monster fucker tag because the baby bees are tied to the bee hybrids which ARE very NSFW. It’s a genre.
I use tags that relate to my post and can help them be easily filtered by those that DON’T want to see my content.
Never ask something like this again, it made me deeply uncomfortable.
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reidology13 · 23 hours
Text
I tell someone I love them (just as a distraction)
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Spencer Reid x fem famous!reader
Summary: In the depths of his addiction, Spencer finds someone who needs an escape as much as he does.
cw: talk of addiction, allusions to sex (no actual smut), angst no happy ending
Meaningless whispers of ‘I love you’ mumbled between laboured breaths and cold kisses in an apartment that doesn’t feel like mine. The sheen of sweat that coats his body is nearly constant these days, it has nothing to do with physical exertion. The glaze over his hollow eyes is the furthest possible thing from pleasure, although by now he might have his wires crossed. His face is beautiful, and I can see myself marrying it in another life, one where my chest isn’t as hollow as his cheeks. A life where I don’t have to ignore the fresh scars in the crook of his elbow as I pull his shirt off.
I am not in that world, and neither is he, a reality that I cannot grieve because this is what I asked for, what I have been working for since before I can remember. The parties that leave me empty and sick, the performances that start the moment I leave the stage, the new friends who tag along for my name. I love him because he doesn’t care about any of it, if only because he’s too high to care about much at all.
I don’t feel anything when I finish, I’m not sure he does, either. I watch as he disappears from my side, already scrambling to his bag, searching through it until he finds what he needs. He slips into the bathroom, finally taking his chance to feel something after the numbness of the night. He has his escape, he used to be mine. I wonder if one day the chemicals he defiles his veins with will stop calming his ever racing mind, or if I just need a higher dose.
When he comes back, I pull him close to me, dragging him back down into the bedsheets and sweat. It works this time, my skin alight with every electrifying touch as his fingers dance gracefully across my body. His hands shake as they move, a feeling that makes my nerves sing as a lump forms in my throat and my heart sinks to my stomach. He looks up at me with those brown eyes that would be so gorgeous if they held any emotion, anything but that violent hunger for a craving he should have satisfied moments earlier. He can’t up his dose as easily as I can, can’t pull his vice back to bed without the risk of never waking up. He doesn’t bother saying that he loves me this time, we both know it’s not true. Or maybe it is, but there are things he loves much more, and telling me he loves me debases one of the only pure things left in the world. I’m glad he doesn’t try this time.
He holds me afterwards, his trembling body not yet ready to stand up, or maybe he knows that the moment he does he’ll be back inside the bathroom. I turn my head away, and as he buries his face in my shoulder, I pretend I don’t feel the apology he mouths against my glass skin. He runs a hand down my upper arm, his touch tentative and light, scared that I’ll shatter into a million pieces. My heart does. If he knows about the tear that runs down my face, he ignores it, and I’m not surprised. Ignorance is what we’re good at, after all.
When I wake up, he’s gone, slipped into the early morning, or called into the job that he shouldn’t be doing in his condition. I crawl out of my cold, damp sheets, the disgusting aftermath of our night. The sick feeling that perpetually sits in my gut, loosening under him, twisting tighter under the sun of the next day. 
Slowly, I peel back the layers of sticky fabric, watching how they cling to my skin and each other as I force them into the washing machine. I turn it on.
Fresh sheets are laid out on my bed, sheets that haven’t yet witnessed the tornado of us, still clean and untainted by tears and sweat and words that never mean anything. I lay the sheet over the mattress, fighting to wrap it around all four corners as it perpetually escapes one, always sitting just slightly wrong. I place the pillows down carefully, fighting the urge to punch them like I’ve been wanting to punch his face every time he shows up at my door.
I can see myself marrying him in this world, too, getting him the help he needs and staying with him through it all. He would be able to be there for me when I need it, not an escape from, but support through the other parts of my life, a person to love and talk to about the hard things. But I know that is still impossible. One day, he will sober up and disappear, or I will be an uninvited guest at his funeral. There’s no option that ends well for both of us, the best we can do is take it as it happens and ignore everything.
I watch as the last blanket floats down over the bed, carelessly adjusting its corners. It looks exactly the same.
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34saveme34 · 18 hours
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FINALLY HERE!!!
Imperfect Integrity 3/5 for Ties AU (check out my fic tag to see the others if you didn't catch up yet!)
this is quite marware fic
some silly warnings: self harm, blood, emotional so fucking emotional, gay, there's gay sex mentions (NOT CLICKBAIT), 4 being an asshole
20k words, so far the longest thing I had ever written, if I keep this up, which I'll probably will, the Ties AU at the end might turn out to be like, 100k words overall or so but that's just an estimate
also as an aside, for the next part you will need to watch Meta runners to understand the stuff in it, otherwise it won't make sense. so if like you want to watch in like. Idk when I'll be able to write AND finish it but it'll probably take a while until I get there.
now when I don't feel exhausted, I'll start working on the Magical AU ep 1 and probably like try to remember worldbuilding stuff I forgot to write down like an idiot
anyways, enjoy!
It had been a while since Mr Puzzles was cleared of the dredged piece. It really cleared his mind, even more overtime. Although, with no money, he didn’t quite know what to do. As he walked around the city, trying to jog his mind, to give him something to work with, he spotted one of his rivals. Or well…. to him more of an ex rival. They locked eyes, Puzzles wasn’t sure how they were feeling. Staring at him with such a mysterious expression, veiled by maybe his still foggy mind or he just forgot how to understand people.
“Puzzles…?” he could hear them speak. Puzzles suddenly straightened himself up as he was caught off guard. Maybe he even stared, how embarrassing!
“Y-.. Yes! It is… I…” he chuckled awkwardly.
“You’re… not here to scheme again, are you?”
“Hm? Oh… I kind of stopped that. Especially with my old studio smashed to the ground” he might’ve sounded a bit too devastated, something he didn’t mean to be in front of someone like this, someone who knew what he was before way too well and felt it on their skin. Even if they never exactly fully met face to face, especially not in such a casual way as now.
“Yeah, I’ve heard about it! I didn’t want to believe it. I mean, someone like you, losing your… your…”
“My everything? Yes, indeed… Is that all you want?”
“Uhm… I don’t know. I never quite got close to talking to you. You were always so…intimidating”
“Yeah I- I’m sorry about that. I wasn’t quite myself, to say the least”
They looked at him shocked.
“You- You’re saying sorry? Huh… You really changed.”
“For the better I think” Puzzles smiled fondly, one man crossing his mind.
“Heh… Well, I’m sure. So, what will you do now?”
“Well, I kind of don’t have anywhere to go and I’m out of a job”
They didn’t reply for a while, seemingly thinking something over.
“Hey… c’mere, maybe I can offer you something good”
“Oh? Sure” Puzzles took a seat in front of them.
Only now did he fully get a good look at them. They were in a white sundress, had green eyes and gray long hair, let loose draping their face a bit, one of their eyes barely visible. He was kind of used to seeing them in suits and other formal clothing from pictures so it was an interesting change. He really needed that sort of casual vibe right now.
“So… You may have been a boss before but… what do you say to working for me? I know you’re qualified so we don’t even have to bother with that nonsense” they smiled. They were serious about their offer. If Puzzles still had a jaw, it would’ve dropped. He still clearly looked shocked though.
“What? You’re a great catch when it comes to this industry. It’s even YOU doing me a favour. And don’t worry, I’d pay you accordingly too, you can name your price”
“Well… I’d like it if it was fair to the others as well. I don’t want to be paid that much more compared to other workers”
“So a little bit more?”
“Sure but- what position do you have?”
“Oh just- whatever”
“...Whatever?”
“Whatever you can take when you come to it”
“So… An… Everchanging position?”
“Well… considering you’re really skilled in all fields of movie making, I feel I would stifle your potential if I forced you into a single position”
“You flatter me”
They laughed.
“You earned it, Mr Puzzles. Even though you were a vindictive… ahem asshole, it’s hard to deny that you always were an extremely talented person”
“Hm… heh” he chuckled “Well, sure, I’ll take it. Let’s just make it official at some point” Puzzles added almost awkwardly. The offer did find him pretty suddenly so he might have rushed into it. Then again, he didn’t see anything bad to it. Though it’ll definitely make headlines that he’s working for a rival of his. There will probably be rumors about it. He didn’t care though, since he would still get to do what he always loved doing.
Just as his now soon to be boss was handing him a business card, he heard wild yelling. Not just any yelling, it was his name being yelled. And it was rapidly getting closer. As he turned to the source of the noise, said source tackled him.
“Mario needs you!!” Mario yelled, as the source of the sudden noise as he was sort of straddling Puzzles with how he knocked him over.
“Uhm…?” his soon to be boss looked over at the 2 and thought for a bit. Then they laughed “Well, alright, here” they gave him their business card “Just call me when you’re not busy being tackled by men” they winked then left. 
Puzzles felt a little hot as he got up, then ripped Mario off of himself as well, considering how he was latched onto him. Puzzles, being tackled by men? No! That never happened before. Mario tackling him down was an exception. And it didn’t mean anything more than that. He just… needed him for whatever reason.
“Mario needs you!!!” Mario repeated himself, looking up at Puzzles with his big blue eyes. God, maybe he will do whatever he wants! Who said that.
“What do you need me for?” he sighed, giving in, asking him as he crouched down to his level. 
“For research. For SMG1 and SMG2”
“Uhuuuh. And why exactly?”
“Our link.” Mario said as if Puzzles was already well versed in Cosmology lore.
“Our what now?”
“The thing I did for you to not die. Though it was on accident… Mario will do lotta accidents but he didn’t think he could do such a big one!”
Mario almost looked proud of himself.
“Hm… Well” Puzzles smiled at Mario, with such a disgustingly sweet smile, it couldn’t be more genuine “I’m glad you did, you really saved me. I would still be lost if it wasn’t for you”
Mario seemed to be lost looking at Puzzles’s screen. Almost as if he froze. It took a good few seconds for him to respond.
“S… So!! Mario needs you!! Right now!!” Mario picked up Puzzles and started running with him at a speed Puzzles didn’t think was possible for the avatar to achieve. He… truly had some wonderful tricks up his sleeves. And didn’t it just make him more endearing? Who said that. 
Mario ran with him to 1 and 2’s place, not stopping even for a moment before getting there. Almost like he was doing everything in himself to focus only on going and nothing else around him. 
They arrived and Mario quickly dropped Puzzles down once he entered 1 and 2’s home.
“There you 2 are!” 2 cheered.
“So, we can start, yes?” 1 chimed in too.
“What will this be for anyways?” Puzzles asked, still sort of confused with the situation.
“You see, Mr Puzzles, what you have with Mario is really special.”
Puzzles tried very hard to not interpret that in a different way than it was meant to. No way anyways! Mario was not his type. He wasn’t even sure if he would even like anyone though. He never really had people like that in his life. At all honestly.
“Special how exactly?”
“Well… uh, exposition time I guess! 2, get the exposition powerpoint!” 
2 brought out a projector, 1 pulled down a white projector background out of nowhere. Puzzles was a little impressed by how well the meme guardians were prepared for this kind of thing. Kind of made him think about the ways he thought of handling stuff before he went really crazy… Good times.
“So you see, I, SMG1, as well as SMG2, we are meme guardians, and also partners. As in cosmically linked. You see, this was something that was inherent to us since we started existing.”
2 flipped to an image of the 2, with their hands linked, in the process of transmuting a meme.
“Started existing? Cosmically linked?” Puzzles was trying to keep up.
“Yes, we are ageless in a sense. Maybe… Immortal is more correct? And yes, cosmically linked. Sort of like being soulmates. It’s so we can share our power and make each other stronger as well. While we can work on our own as well, working together almost always brings better results. Like what you see on the slide, this is us transmuting memes! The same is true for SMG3 and SMG4 as well. Now… You 2”
he sighed.
“I… I don’t really know to be fair” he admitted.
Silence filled the room. Puzzles was thinking how to react.
‘“Well uh… that’s why I’m here, right? So you can figure it out” Puzzles tried to be optimistic for 1 and 2.
“Right!” 2 chimed in. 1 was starting to feel better about it now.
“Yeah, I guess so”
“Should I bring the memes, 1?”
“Just what I was thinking! Almost like you read my mind”
2 giggled before leaving to get the memes.
“What do you need the memes for?” Puzzles asked.
“You see… I was wondering if your weirdly created link can also manipulate memes or not. Considering Mario is literally the avatar of this world- Oh yeah, Mario being the avatar means if he gets killed the whole world goes to ruin. He’s like the heart of this universe. Oh yeah, we come from a different universe, it’s just since we… lost our avatar, it went to ruin, it became uninhabitable. Dwelling on the past so much is no good though ahah.”
Puzzles was just nodding along.
“Say uh… I’ve been thinking… I remember when SMG3 and SMG4 mended their severed ties… although in a pretty dreamlike way, considering I wasn’t fully there but- they had their literal physical ties well- located differently”
“Physical ties?” 1 looked at him curiously “Why didn’t they mention this to me or 2” Puzzles could almost imagine the kind of talking to 3 and 4 will get about this… Ah, well, not his problem.
2 came back with the memes.
“I was just mentioning it” Puzzles started again, slowly to make sure he had 1’s attention again “Because their ties were on their hands, while with Mario, he does have it on his hands, I actually have it right by my collarbone”
“Oooh, the same place Mario grabbed with all his will to make sure you don’t die!” Mario added with a cheery tone, as if it wasn’t traumatic at all.
“E-... Ah, exactly, Mario” Puzzles sighed.
“Hm” 1 immediately grabbed a few notes to scribble on “I wonder if their locations being different could affect anything in this… even the fact that neither of you are meme guardians!”
he still seemed to be a bit frustrated with this whole thing. Puzzles kind of felt bad.
“It’s my fault, I’m sorry” he spoke quietly but everyone looked at him. 1 panicked a bit.
“Oh no no no, I’m so glad to know this is actually possible! I’ve never seen anything like this! I’m just frustrated because it’s hard to figure out!” 
Puzzles showed a weak smile.
“Besides, it’s also Mario’s fault” Mario chimed in as he stood closer to Puzzles, as if he was trying to comfort him.
They got to a few tests after finally everyone was okay. They came to a few conclusions: The power of the link can be measured physically, however it is more chaotic than the average guardian link, thus it is more unstable. It cannot affect memes, however it has the potential to be more powerful than that. Though that was just a theory from 1 based on how it managed to save Puzzles from going back. However he did note the shared pain being so intense must have something to do with it. 
As they were leaving, Mario didn’t seem to leave his side.
“What?” Puzzles looked at him.
Mario seemed to struggle before finally spitting out something that had been on his rather empty, echoey mind of his. 
“Mario was thinking if you want to live with him!! Considering that he knows you don’t have anywhere else to go right now!!” 
Puzzles was taken aback. He chuckled, his face feeling a bit hot, hot enough that Mario noticed.
“Heh, uhm well, didn’t know you took such a liking to me, Mario” it almost felt like Puzzles was teasing Mario, even though it wasn’t his intention at all. He just wanted to stop feeling like a shaking leaf over kindness.
More concerning, Mario seemed to stop, again, that frozen face of his. Puzzles was scared he hurt him, immediately trying to make it right.
“I mean! That you feel sorry enough for me! I mean uhm, you must not be inviting just any homeless person to live with you!” if he could sweat right now…
Mario slowly regained the composure he seemingly lost.
“Hey now, I do like you a little bit” Mario said cheerfully as he went to lead the way to his and Luigi’s house.
Likes him a little bit? Oh those words were like flints trying to spark something and slowly causing a fire inside his head, making him even more stupid about this whole situation… Oh, it must be the link! There wasn’t anything weird to be explained here, he was just feeling this way because of their link and nothing else. Especially since it happened so recently too! Who knows, it could be actively lying to him about his feelings!
They went inside the house, Luigi greeted him. 
“Mario did say you had nowhere else to go so I agreed that you could live here until you figure something out!” 
“Thank you, it really does mean a lot to me, more than anything” Puzzles sounded so awfully grateful practically on his knees but that could’ve been because he was so god damn tall, it had both brothers ever so lightly flustered. Just a tiny bit but enough to where Puzzles was starting to notice it.
“Oh, of course! It’s the best we can do, it really isn’t much!” Luigi was the more awkward one while Mario just laughed then stared in front of himself. It was almost like he was asserting dominance with just his gaze. Puzzles once again felt awkward.
“Oh, did I mess up… This social interacting thing really isn’t my strong suit right now-”
“Oh, you’re fine, really! Just never had someone so grateful for hospitality is all” Luigi finally sounded fine again “Besides, you can always really thank us by helping around. Mario is like a tornado of messes anyways and I wouldn’t mind help with that”
“Hey! I’m not that bad” Mario defended himself.
“Heh, what, bro? You want to look good in front of your new friend?”
Friend.
Friend.
Friend.
Friend
Oh, it rang so many times in Puzzles’s head. It should have settled in at this point but hearing it like this what did it. Sometimes he still thought he was living in that total loneliness he used to be in before. He smiled. He smiled so much, if he could he would’ve cried.
“I’m your friend?” he sounded like he was genuinely crying.
The 2 brothers looked at him.
“Of course! You’re our friend!”
“Mario thinks you’re pretty cool”
He grabbed both in a tight hug before setting them down again and leaving immediately to a different room. He didn’t even know the layout but he sure was going. At least he was exploring on his own! Oh, he was feeling like a dumbass then. He seemed to stop in what was possibly Mario’s room, considering how messy it looked. But it did smell like him so it was definitely his room. His smell had such a comforting effect on Puzzles, probably due to the fact that the link they newly formed was having undeniably strange effects on him that can’t be attributed to anything else. Nothing else at all. Besides he could NEVER be into fat italians. Just a combo he always found unappealing. So why would he EVER find that type of man interesting or worth his time now? Not even character development could ever do that to him! Just a forceful cosmic link that makes you believe untrue and super false things!
Mario opened the door to see Puzzles on his bed. It was kind of silly, considering he was not even close to being able to fit on the bed. He was just way too tall and lanky to fit on there right. It made Mario chuckle which made Puzzles notice him. They stared at each other for a bit, before Puzzles got up.
“I got in your bed- that wasn’t my intention”
“Mhmmm… It also doesn’t seem big enough for you…”
“Huh? Yea I- How did I not realise that” Puzzles laughed awkwardly as he decided to just plop down on the ground instead.
“It’s okay, Mario understands. Puzzles man only recently became normal”
Puzzles nodded, not knowing what else he could add to this. He didn’t want to run his mouth and say something stupid again. Was he always this much of an idiot? He could barely remember at this point.
Mario could easily notice the frown forming on Puzzles’s screen, which only served to concern him. He sat beside him.
“You good?” 
“Oh I… Well, would you really want to listen? I think it’s just a bunch of nonsense but-”
“Yes, Mario will hear you out. You think he doesn’t think about a bunch of nonsense? You underestimate him”
Puzzles chuckled.
“Well alright… I’m just feeling really stressed… about life in general I think. Since it moved on without me- I can’t exactly resume from where I left off. And my head feels weird in general. Sometimes just… feeling like doing things without thinking or something…”
“HmmmMMmmMMMMMmMM” Mario made loud thinking noises.
“Oh? Do you have an idea on what it could be?”
“No…. although….”
“Although?”
“SMG4 noted before that I acted pretty weird lately”
“Oh huh?”
“In his words ‘Why did you just suggest something good to my videos that wasn’t a meme?’ “
Well this puzzled the Puzzle. 
“What did you suggest?”
“Don’t remember” Mario looked aside for a moment then he seemed to become rather content about himself.
“This is weird… We should talk about it with SMG4 sometime…”
“Mmmm… wait!!” Mario suddenly got up and ran to a calendar “We’ll have vacation soon!!”
“V… Vacation?”
“Yeah! SMG4 said we all deserve one good break!!”
“Huh! So um… I won’t see you for a bit?”
“No way!”
Mario furrowed his brows before he grabbed his phone and went outside. Was interesting seeing Mario act this way… not just stubborn but so… He didn’t even know how to put it into words.
As he sat there, beside Mario’s bed, his mind started to wander, listening to the silence better and the noises hidden in it… The analogue clock that was hung on the wall dominated it although he could hear other things. Like the wind outside. Steps sounding across the halls outside. Even the light hum of his screen finding him. It was rather peaceful, it let him think. He still needed to think about a lot. Or maybe just not think at all. The idea seemed rather attractive. Even though he now cringed as he remembered how tightly he hugged the 2 brothers before running off like a mindless idiot. Good thing Mario didn’t seem to question it. Maybe he should look at things in a similar way! Do first, question why later. Or never, preferably. What could possibly go wrong?
As he was deep in his thoughts, what stirred him from his daydreaming was yelling outside. He now knew it to be Mario, it was rather well… fitting to him. No one else could yell the same way as Mario does. What an odd thing to note for Puzzles…He chose not to think about it though. Just appreciate Mario’s unique nature without further thought. 
A few minutes later, Mario came back with a big smile on his face.
“Mario convinced SMG4 to let you come with us!!” he cheered, hugging Puzzles.
The affection still felt weird, he was still battling feelings. He was sort of relieved when Mario let go of him but he still wished it back so dearly. It was probably one of those things where he couldn’t turn off his brain no matter how much he wanted to.
“You should keep hugs to a minimum, Mario” he commented.
“Awww, you don’t like hugs?” he sounded a bit sad “Really funny how you hugged us so tight before… Mario don’t get it” he looked genuinely stumped.
“I don’t know! I do but I don’t. Just- Just keep them short… please?”
“Okie-dokie!!” Mario smiled “Hmmm… what should you pack for vacation….”
“I kind of don’t have anything” he laughed awkwardly.
“Uhuh… Not even a phone?”
“Nope”
“MmmmMMMMMMMMmmmmMMMMmmmmmm damn”
“Am I not enough by myself”
“I’m gonna ask Luigi if we can get you stuff, can’t just let you come with us with zero planning. That could generate issues we could combat right now instead of leaving it for later”
Mario left. His tone was different from usual. This man was LEADING and with GRACE at that. Puzzles felt starstruck. What the fuck? Sure, Mario had his moments acting a bit outside of who he is but this was so much more. He talked like… Like how he would. Eh, it’s probably nothing!
Luigi got dragged into the room.
“Mario brought Luigi here for you”
“Sorry” Puzzles already felt the apology escaping him. He didn’t think much about it right now afterall. He didn’t think anything. He definitely wasn’t thinking. Why would he be thinking right now? Don’t be silly! He was definitely not thinking and thinking till the end of the Earth! Only the old Puzzles would think about how much of a burden he felt like as soon as he was himself again. The new Puzzles would definitely not feel like he was worth nothing or even less, or that he didn’t deserve to be forgiven even if he was kind of brainwashed.
He was definitely not thinking about any of that. He would never. End of it.
“Hey, it’s okay!” Luigi tried to reassure Puzzles “You do need some things. I heard we’re going to the nearby beach so you need at least some kind of beach clothes. Can…. Can you even go in water?”
“Everything except my head”
“Then yeah! We need swimwear for you. And we need to go shopping anyways!”
“Are you sure?” Puzzles still tried to be nice but was trying to hide so hard that he wasn’t feeling okay mentally.
“Of course! We need spaghetti for Mario anyways so I wanted to go shopping! And maybe… I know where we could get you swimwear”
“Alright” Puzzles got up, hitting his head “Sorry, I’m so tall”
Luigi giggled.
“Well, sadly that’s one thing we can’t fix”
“I think I’ll get used to it”
“Hmm…” Mario thought out loud “Maybe you can squish the spiders up there for Mario”
“Sure thing, Mario” Puzzles smiled at him before turning away, not entertaining anything in himself. Such a stupid idea to overthink such a simple thing anyways. It did freeze Mario though, especially because of the way Puzzles would say his name. Maybe he was a little unwell about Puzzles. Even Luigi noticed the tension between the 2 but decided to brush it off.
“C’mon, guys! We gotta finish while it’s still bright outside!” He left the room, the other 2 soon followed. 
Mario was oddly quiet during the shopping trip until they went to a shop that seemed to be holding just- an abhorrent amount of swimwear of all sorts. Even styles Puzzles never saw before. He was a bit overwhelmed by the selection, although less and less as he reminded himself that about 90% of the stuff sold here won’t fit him considering how god damn tall he was. They went inside, looking around. The shopkeeper, a rather old lady, came out and immediately led the 3 men to the taller section. Now there Puzzles had the chance of finding something good!
They looked around, Puzzles started to feel rather picky. He didn’t know exactly what to go for. 
“Stumped?” Luigi looked up at Puzzles as he seemed to be struggling.
“I don’t know what I exactly want”
“Aren’t bikinis hot right now?” Mario chimed in “Mario was also thinking about getting some”
Puzzles flushed red.
“Me? Showing skin? Don’t be ridiculous!” Puzzles seemed rather defensive. And utterly embarrassed. 
“Mario! Don’t just say things without thinking!” 
“But I’m Mario” 
“You embarrassed him!”
The 2 brothers went onto arguing about boundaries while Puzzles searched further. In the end he found one of those one piece swimsuits that reach from elbow to knee and seemed satisfied with that. It was probably his best choice. Luigi bought it for him. After that they also got him some clothes so he could change later. Once again something that was hard to find at first but since their wonderful world was very diverse even without Puzzles’s amazing lankiness, they found clothes that fit him.
“I’ll pay it back though!” Puzzles said “Write it up somewhere and I’ll totally have it covered as soon as I start working again!”
“Okay okay!” Luigi tried to calm Puzzles down “This won’t drive me broke! If buying Mario a yacht’s worth of spaghetti each month doesn’t then nothing will”
“Oh that sounds like soooo much spaghetti” Mario salivated at the thought.
“Don’t entertain that idea!”
Puzzles laughed at the two.
“Alright but still write it down somewhere. I don’t want to use you too much”
Luigi nodded.
They got home. Luigi went to unload all the groceries while Puzzles got dragged to Mario’s room by Mario himself. He seemed to be going toddler tantrum mode by how tired the day had gotten him or maybe he was just upset he wouldn’t get a yacht’s worth of spaghetti. Even then, his grip on Puzzles was stronger than what should have been possible. 
Mario laid Puzzles down with ease and laid beside him with not much afterthought. He fell asleep fast and even then clung onto Puzzles pretty strongly. He could not escape. 
He couldn’t help it, he let his mind race. He didn’t know how he exactly felt about Mario but he really might make him act up at this rate and he wasn’t kidding. He was being so cute through all of this and at the swimwear shop what kind of sounded like flirting. It definitely wasn’t though! He doubted that Mario would pull out actual flirting just like that. Nobody ever made him feel this way and it was super infuriating for him.
He kind of ended up riling himself up as he angrily stared at Mario. That anger slowly slipped away. He couldn’t stay mad at him. He hadn’t known him for that long anyways, he could always just be feeling this way because experiences in general felt new to him. He just- won’t fully entertain this crazy shit right now but try his best to give himself space to process his feelings. Even if it might throw off the people around him. Even if it could cause him to be a  burden… He stopped at that. He also didn’t want to feel like dead weight around the crew. Especially as he imagined how god awfully awkward he’ll feel around everyone when they go on that vacation. This was gonna be really hard on him, even if he realised he needed space for his big feelings. He yawned. He felt tired too. He pulled the blanket off of the bed and tried his best to cover himself and Mario as well. Kind of weird, but they managed to fall asleep on the floor together. 
The 2 slept soundly together, as they tangled up more while sleeping. Considering how neither was a light sleeper, Luigi had an interesting sight to greet him when he went to Mario to tell him that breakfast was ready.
He giggled at the sight and even took a picture. That’ll be something he can tease Mario about later. He left the room quietly with an evil grin plastered on his face.
It took a while until Mario stirred. Even he was surprised that he was held so closely by Puzzles. And just how warm he was. And wasn’t nearly as hard as he thought he would be, considering his body was made of wires and cables. He actually felt really comfortable. Maybe a bit too comfortable. He still couldn’t quite understand what was going on in his brain. He just let the thoughts run across him as if his mind was a waterfall and these thoughts were feeble, unfit fish that are defenseless against the power of a waterfall. Just like how his thoughts were defenseless at Mario’s mind becoming so empty they become nothing as well. Though that just left him confused. He didn’t know if this was okay but hey! It was probably nothing. It’ll just solve itself in some roundabout way like how things usually just go off in a chain reaction around him. He was sort of used to things happening to him and around him. Just like when his Mighty Italian suffered at the merciless door’s slammige. Although he was panicked, things happening around him kind of solved it. Just like how a good but silly plot demands it. This time should be no different. Since there was a good and engaging start to this and it had slowly been ramping up, it should reach a satisfying conclusion. It was only fair, to make a story that could leave a mark on people… What… What were these thoughts? Even Mario himself was stumped at his thoughts. Maybe it was because he just woke up but he wasn’t exactly the type to have discussions like this inside his head for fun. He preferred his mind to have as much of a reverb as St. Stephen’s Basilica no less and with the most disgustingly awful sound system set up, so bad any words spoken are drenched in noise, losing clarity. Honestly, maybe even more. Make his mind as echoey as a hollow Earth would be and record it with an xbox type headset.
He looked up to Puzzles, discarding his thoughts as he observed Puzzles’s softly humming screen engulfed in static. It was rather mesmerising. He squirmed until he freed his hands and reached up to feel his screen. Even his screen was sort of warm, although harder than his body, there was still something startlingly alive about it. He became a little obsessed with it. And it seemed Puzzles chose the worst possible time to wake up.
Mario hesitantly pulled away his hands from Puzzles’s screen. 
“Hmmm?” Puzzles didn’t speak yet, just humming softly as he woke up.
“Good morning, TV man” Mario defaulted to being sort of polite. It seemed he couldn’t fully discard those thoughts now! Unfortunate. Suffer my gay wrath, Mario.
“Morning, Mario…” he yawned “How’d you sleep”
“Pretty good… you’re comfy” he giggled as he cuddled closer to Puzzles. To his dismay. Puzzles sat up. He whined. Puzzles pulled Mario off of him. 
“Physical affection time is over now” Puzzles said, rather dryly. 
Mario looked at him, with waves of sadness, waves that washed away in his blue eyes that got so big, pleading, looking at Puzzles just to give him one more second of physical closeness. Puzzles strongly averted his gaze. Although now he won’t be able to get those puppy eyes out of his mind. 
He stood up, this time more careful to not hit his head in the ceiling. 
Mario decided to brush it off. Though, once again, he couldn’t quite discard it all until he thought about breakfast.
“Oh, Mario’s gonna have breakfast” and there he went.
Puzzles sighed. Even yesterday, Mario got to him quite a lot but he didn’t have the heart to push him away. Especially not after what he ended up thinking about after Mario fell asleep. Although, based on how it all went down, it might not be the last time that Mario would fall asleep latched onto him. And he was a bit worried about the fact that it didn’t bother him. Though maybe it was better for him to get used to it. He knew he had to make some odd sacrifices to make his life work again. Or more like start working for the first time ever. 
He left to see Mario destroying breakfast. It was as if they made mukbang but violent. He already saw what Luigi meant by Mario being something to deal with. Luigi looked at him, they shared a look. He sat down with the brothers to eat with them. Although he didn’t need a lot to sustain himself, he still needed a bit. And as he did, the 2 brothers looked at him. Puzzles felt embarrassed.
“What?” he already tried to defend himself “can’t a man have his breakfast?”
“TV eats…. pretty cool” Mario was maybe a bit too joyful about Puzzles being able to eat.
“I just didn’t think about it before but it makes sense! Sorry if we caused you to feel bad”
Puzzles sighed.
“Thank you, apology accepted… I just don’t want to be seen as a freak is all…”
“Of course, it’s understandable”
“Mario will fight the haters for you” and he sounded serious about it too.
Puzzles was clearly flattered, maybe a bit flustered. Luigi looked between the 2. Puzzles looked at him. Luigi gave him a look that could only be described as having the vibe of ‘Idk what’s going on with you 2 but I’m not gonna get tangled in your problem’. Puzzles felt defeated.
“Say… When exactly is the vacation?” Puzzles changed the subject.
“This weekend”
“Oh huh! 2 more days then… At least I have time to attend to… actually getting a job”
“TV already getting a new job?”
“Yes, Mario” he said “Actually you interrupted me in the middle of it when I was asked to join my ex rival’s studio. Which is why I would’ve needed the- Wait we actually really did forget about getting me a phone” Puzzles stared off “How will I call them now?”
“You can use our land line!” 
“Oh, thank you! Maybe next time we go we can actually get me one”
“Sure thing, Puzzles! Let's hope we don’t forget next time”
“Yeah”
He got up and left, forcing the conversation to end. Mario watched him closely then stared at where he saw Puzzles leave.
Luigi took his phone out with the picture he took of the 2.
Mario noticed the motion under his face, looking down. He took a bit as he realised what he was looking at. He slowly flushed red. Luigi grinned at the reaction.
“I see you slept well” he teased Mario.
Mario couldn’t react as he turned away from Luigi, trying to hide his face. His ears being so red were giving away his thoughts though.
“Oh, dear god, you’re THAT smitten” Luigi laughed, now feeling a bit bad. Mario would usually try to throw hands at this point.
He looked back at him with the most genuine shock in his eyes.
“Smitten??!” he said with so much disbelief, he genuinely didn’t think about it that way.
Luigi stared at him.
“You didn’t think about that at all?”
“No!!! Mario is too stupid for stuff like that!” he seemed rather panicked now.
“Oh, bro” Luigi now just fully felt bad, as he wrapped an arm around his brother, trying to comfort him “I get that it can be hard to deal with these feelings-”
“Mario thought he could only love spaghetti” he started sobbing. Luigi looked unamused.
“...Just know I’m here to listen if you wanna talk about it, okay?” 
Mario nodded then hugged him. Good grief, he didn’t think he would need this so suddenly, just like this. He didn’t even know he could develop feelings in such an embarrassing way. He wasn’t the cool and easygoing Mario anymore, he was stupid and scared now. Sure, he could be scared but it wasn't exactly usual for him to feel this anxious. Not even Peach could make him feel that way while she was around and he still sort of liked her. He never felt like he’s fumbling a bad bitch or something, especially because that fumbling was part of their relationship in a way. However here he felt so much more, being scared he couldn’t be enough for the man he happened to fall for a little bit. Maybe it’ll just pass! That was an on and off thing with a certain someone who wasn’t Peach. And he even grew pretty casual about it too! But this… Mario was fucked. As in utterly, deeply and strongly fucked.
He sighed which drew attention from his brother.
“Mario thinks it’ll pass. Just very intense right now. Way too intense” by the end it sounded like he was whining. 
Luigi chuckled and patted his back.
“If that makes it easier to sleep at night”
Puzzles took a while, it felt like time stopped. But he came back afterall. Why did Mario feel he was gone forever? He wouldn’t leave… would he? When… When he is able to make good money he probably will.
Mario stayed oddly quiet while Luigi and Puzzles were discussing something entirely unimportant to him. It was all just noise. His head never felt so full, it felt suffocating. Uncomfortably so. So many things he had been through yet this broke him in a way he didn’t know could happen to him. He quietly got up and got himself more spaghetti to occupy himself with something. Luigi didn’t say a thing, just glanced at him. Puzzles was none the wiser about the fact that Mario wasn’t just having seconds, he was actively coping with eating. 
The day passed by. Puzzles had the job now, he would start as soon as he got back from the vacation they so suddenly invited him to. More like Mario invited him. From what little he could guess from what he saw and heard, SMG4 really didn’t like him. Not that he had a problem with that, he had every right to. He just knew it could easily make things awkward. Especially because he didn’t know what to expect. Hell, what if he ruins the whole outing? Just making it awful for everyone around…. It truly scared him. In these times, he was weirdly glad he had Mario sometimes latching onto him in his koala kind of manner. Though he did draw the line at his screen being used to watch stuff. Sure, he had so much love for television himself and all- but that was his face! And his face is there to be a face, not to just be your usual household equipment. Mario did try every so often though until he seemed to reach a breaking point with it. He was REALLY bored but he also didn’t want to bother Puzzles into… maybe even hating him. The thought sent a chill down his spine.
Mario was struggling, oscillating between being beside Puzzles or not. He finally put his foot down, abruptly leaving. Puzzles was sure puzzled by this. Staring a hole into the door, as if the door did something to him. He realised what he was doing was dumb as hell as he pushed himself up from the floor and left the room. No one was inside so he left the house to look around. He found Luigi tending to their garden in the back. It was small but really pristine and well-kept. He did know it was a passion of his so it didn’t surprise him but he thought it would be bigger.
“Anything wrong?” he must have stared because this was a question he got from Luigi.
“Oh no, not really! I was just- looking around is all. And it felt a little lonely inside.” 
Luigi hummed.
“If you want to know, Mario left to SMG4”
“Ah! I see! Not… Not that I asked it but thank you”
“Sure” Luigi said with sarcasm which Puzzles did not pick up on at all.
For a while he didn’t do much until he had quite the grand idea. He looked around the house on his own, searching for stuff to aid his idea. On his quest for a pen or pencil and paper, he found personal stuff which he didn’t mean to. Like pictures and notes about adventures they both had. He sighed, happy that they both had such an eventful life, but also feeling jealous for the very same reason. He wished that were him. He shook his head, though he couldn’t help but wonder about all those adventures as they slowly seeped into his idea, tainting it so so sweetly. And it showed. His idea wasn’t only his anymore. But he did like it. 
He started to sketch out concept shots for it as well, full of drama and plans for all sorts of lighting, camera angles, scenery, the practical effects, even ending up pondering about the sound effects, the kind of music he’d use. It’s almost like his love for filmmaking never left him.
By the time Mario got back from an adventure with SMG4 which he induced by causing problems, as he tends to from time to time, he found his room covered in a lot of doodles, with Puzzles being in the middle of it. He looked like he was consumed by it but didn’t seem bothered by it. Grinning happily and without care in his metaphorical black hole of passion. Mario found the smile rather contagious. He couldn’t help but stare at everything, taking in so much detail. Usually his head would explode over such actions, especially because there were words he had to read, or refuse to take in information but today seemed different. He took it with open arms, just like the man in the middle of this beautiful mess.
Their eyes met, shared a few moments of eye contact. The realness of it all, it was sickening and weird. Mario wished some really bad things while being so deeply enamored. Made him wish he never existed. 
Puzzles on the other hand was more confused although flustered. He didn’t think about it too much before but Mario’s opinion on him might have mattered more to him than he let on.
The stare off ended as Puzzles awkwardly spoke up.
“Uhh- hey, Mario! Are you interested in my work?”
Mario took a bit.
“Mario doesn’t know what you’re making but it looks cool”
“Oh they are just plans for scenes I was thinking about! You see, my plans are always all over the place but they always come together in the end!”
“Hmmmmmm….” Mario thought strongly “Like a puzzle”
Puzzles got flustered at the comment as it hit him. He felt stupid for not realising it sooner. He didn’t even choose it because of that, even though this was right there to justify it.
“Oh, dear, aren’t you so smart!” he laughed, slowly letting the awkwardness pass him by. 
Mario shook his head.
“Barely if ever”
“Exceptions exist just for that you know”
“Uh- Guess so? Wouldn’t know”
“Say… would you like to listen to me talk about all this?” he gestured at all his notes and sketches.
Mario thought for a bit then answered rather unusually. 
“Sure, yeah” he sat down beside Puzzles as he started going over the intricacies of building up his perfect scenes. Even having them connect so well, although a full script or story was currently not finished, they were genuinely falling into place. Such an impossible feat, working like that. No wonder he was considered a catch if he can do things like that. And Mario ate it all up. Nodding along to his words whenever he looked for validation to continue, without even thinking much about it. It just all came so unsettlingly natural. 
It felt like so much time had passed when Luigi knocked on their door and opened it, seeing Mario leaning on Puzzles while Puzzles was full of excitement talking.
Luigi giggled at the sight which alerted the 2. Although both were flustered Mario was the one who had it worse. 
“Just wanted ask you 2 if you want dinner” Luigi said as he put a hand on his hip, teasing them.
“Oh hmm dinner haha!!” Mario spoke nervously as he got up fast and ran for the kitchen. Puzzles rolled his eyes, looking a little disappointed.
“I see you’ve been working on stuff” Luigi said, pointing at all the stuff scattered on the floor.
“I’ll clean up!”
“Of course!” Luigi giggled “That’s not why I mentioned it”
“Then…?”
“It’s just great to see you have fun! Now come and eat, you probably didn’t eat all day and that’s not good”
Puzzles got up with a smile on his face. He really was having fun. Especially… when Mario joined. Although that thought was quite complex for him and one that made his head hurt, he still couldn’t wipe off the grin he got going on. He felt almost controlled by it. Not in a bad way, just in the way that he couldn’t hide his happiness at all.
They all sat down. Mario devoured food like a bottomless pit while the other 2 ate a normal amount. Mario eating was a bit too loud this time to make casual talk. The way he sounded, he might as well be choking on pasta at the rate he was taking it in his mouth, making sure he had a good mouthful. And this made him messy as all hell as well, if the absolutely disgusting noises he made weren’t enough. Luigi sometimes glanced at his brother, concerned. He did that enough for Puzzles to notice as well. 
As soon as they finished, Luigi grabbed Mario without a word, dragging him to shower. Mario was screaming about not wanting to shower. Puzzles just watched, awkwardly waving him goodbye, as if out of solidarity. And it was but Puzzles was scared if it looked like he was mocking Mario for getting forced to shower. 
He sat there awkwardly for a bit before he decided to go back to Mario’s room. He tidied up his notes and put them neatly together in a way he knew he could use it again. Order was important to him, sometimes the only thing soothing his anxieties.
He sat down on the floor, then slowly flopped over. His ever so crazy creativity going so fast before drowned out his sleepiness but now it came out full force. He thought over the day as he closed his eyes, noting his thoughts one by one. Being invited to hang out with people who he hurt before. He was scared of how that could go. He would understand if they threw him out immediately after seeing him. Hell, maybe it would be a mistake to take him at all! Even when not possessed, he was still a nuisance, not ready for the world at all. And he felt like the world wasn’t ready for him either. Maybe he’ll just choose to stay away from the others and not talk to anyone! Maybe they would even be glad. Yes. Of course. What else would be a better choice than shutting the hell up as soon as he is around people who could easily make him feel awful even just with a slightly negative glance. He would crumble if he even uttered a word. 
The door to the room opened momentarily shaking Puzzles out of his thoughts. Then fully as he saw that Mario was wearing pink pajamas with a mushroom pattern. The mushrooms had faces and looked like they were ripped from some kind of obscure children’s show. Both the top and bottom had mushrooms. What made it actually kind of funny was the miserable face Mario held. Puzzles chuckled at the sight, he found it way too silly like this.
“You like Mario’s drip?”
“Sure do” Puzzles chuckled again “It fits you well”
Mario rolled his eyes.
“What do you know, Puzzles!” He was clearly playing it up dramatically, and he was failing at even acting like it. He was grinning so much. 
Puzzles yawned.
“Well, I know the day had been long”
Mario stepped rather close to Puzzles, clearly expecting something.
Puzzles looked at him, knowing exactly what he wanted. They hadn’t spent too much time together yet but reading Mario was quickly becoming easy for him. He sighed as he got up.
“Okay, but I’m gonna shower first”
Mario sat down, looking up at him with big puppy eyes.
Puzzles groaned at the sight, was it convincing? Absolutely. Was he gonna practice self control for the sake of not only himself but his hygiene? Also yes.
“After I shower I’m yours all night just stop making that face”
Mario nodded. Puzzles left.
Mario was left to his now mildly filled head. It was bouncing thoughts so awfully. He wished he could think about pasta forever but sadly that wasn’t possible for him. Even before, but now even less. It felt like his head from comfortable silence went to experience white noise. Ever so constant, out of nowhere too. He couldn’t say he fully hated it though. Every once in a while, he just wanted to embrace it so strongly, with his whole body, just the amount of passion he felt even just the thought of expressing it shook him sober. Sober on the idea that he genuinely gained feelings for someone like Puzzles. He didn’t like feeling this aware.
Puzzles came back, Mario’s cloud of soberness immediately dissipated into a different world as he latched onto Puzzles. Puzzles felt a little hot over it. At least he could blame it on the hot shower he took.
“Not wasting a single moment, huh?” he teased Mario, kind of half intentionally. Lot of mixed feelings about it but he didn’t want it to end. It was actually kind of nice.And being sleepy did make him clingier as well.
“Nuh-uh”
Puzzles chuckled as he held Mario in his arms while he laid down.
“Say…” Mario started, looking up at Puzzles.
“Hm?”
“Would you like to come over tomorrow to SMG4’s as well?”
“I- I’m not sure he would like that”
“C’mon! I’ll convince him”
“I- I don’t even know what I would say when I’m there. Doesn't everyone else in your friend group hate me? I did bad things so it would be only fair”
“Times are changing, TV man!” Mario playfully booped Puzzles.
“Are you sure?”
“It would also be good to test the grounds before the vacation”
“Test the grounds, huh? I’ll say… I like the way you think”
Mario seemed to freeze. 
“You good, Mario?”
“You got Mario confused… what thinking did he do?”
Puzzles was looking at him, kind of confused but more disappointed.
“C’mon, Mario, I know those braincells of yours can work out some beautiful things. I’ve seen it”
Mario blushed at the compliment but played it off.
“But Mario got no braincells, only himself! That was all Mario original”
Puzzles couldn’t help it, he laughed at the silly joke.
“You know what, just for that, I’ll go with you tomorrow, just make sure you help out if things get bad”
“Yay! Mario will be your cool white knight”
Puzzles couldn’t help the smile that was growing on his screen just thinking about that.
“Alright. Now sleep”
They slowly fell asleep, in such a sure place. Sure as in right. Might be just the weird feelings in them but it felt like their bond strengthened. Maybe they could even take over the world with what they got. God damn it, good for them! Good for them.
The next morning rose, along with Puzzles first this time. He wanted to get Mario off of himself so he could dress up, considering he was in his pajamas. He actually didn’t like loose fitting clothing like this too much on himself. Sure, they were more comfortable to sleep in but that didn’t mean he would like them.
But by GOD, he didn’t have the heart to wake Mario like this. He could imagine the expression he would pull on him if he tried. And that expression is deeply dangerous!
So all he could do was lie there, taking it as if it was a punishment. He wasn’t necessarily that miserable though.
After a while of lying there, he made up his mind. He REALLY wanted to get dressed. And of course, he was right. He got the most sad puppy look of Mario.
“Please just let me dress up”
Mario whined but let go of Puzzles, letting him grab his stuff and then leave to dress in the bathroom.
Mario was looking at the door until Puzzles appeared again. Lucky for himself, he was too sleepy yet to have further thought. All he knew was that he was already missing the warmth. As soon as he was back, Puzzles opened his arms for Mario to come back to.
It wasn’t exactly the same but it still satiated him.
“You know, I never would’ve guessed you would be clingy” Puzzles noted casually while getting his notes out of where he put them to make sure they still made sense. 
“Oh, Mario’s been this way… he would often sleep at SMG4’s for this reason”
“You… would cuddle SMG4?”
“Yes. Anything wrong with it?”
“No, I was just cur-”
“Maybe jealous?”
Puzzles lit red at the accusation.
“I’m not jealous! Don’t be ridiculous!” 
Mario laughed. 
“Mario believes you”
“Thank you”
Puzzles went back to sorting his notes again, although still a bit bothered.  The more he thought about it, he DID feel a bit jealous. And he felt so stupid for it. He shouldn’t even have the audacity to feel that way. 
Mario clinging onto him did sooth the silly thoughts he didn’t want to have. 
Mario let his grip loosen as he turned to the notes. He was looking at them pretty intently.
Puzzles noticed as well.
“Anything wrong, Mario?”
“Just…. this” he pointed at one of the notes which was detailing a character of the movie Puzzles was working on. It was the protagonist.
“Yes?”
“You were saying this character doesn’t have a motive to do things he does yet”
“Yeah?” Puzzles was puzzled by the verbose thoughts from Mario but listened nonetheless.
“A great motivation would be love. For this character” he pointed at another character, it was actually the secondary protagonist “You said you want this character to be more goofy but I think it would make it interesting if these 2 had something more going on. Especially because you could also show a motive for the murder in act 3. Maybe just make that character a little worse and there!”
Puzzles was staring at Mario. Oh, his mind was full of so many thoughts. And he looked so…. Uhuh, Puzzles, what were you thinking there? 
“That… Actually works pretty well. Hell, it could even work as a twist at the end! So unexpected that the comedic character could end up as the motivator. That they were… always meant to be lovers”
“Even better” Mario laughed “Better write it down”
Puzzles hummed.
“Now Mario’s gonna get breakfast”
“Have a great feast” Puzzles teased Mario.
“Mmmmm feast” Mario walked out with a silly smile on his face, thinking about how big a feast can get. Since this was about Mario, probably very big.
Puzzles looked over his notes and corrected over with the new detail where he saw fit. With a few corrections, the story really felt more whole now. Something about the fact that Mario helped him with it also made him love it more. He wondered if he was supposed to feel bad about that. He and Mario didn’t know each other for too long yet so… would it be… would it be bad to say…
Puzzles shook his head as he clumsily reassembled his notes and hastily put them away as he went outside. Why was this so hard to think about?
He left the room to see Mario indeed finished his feast at this point. He was actually lying down on the floor at this point.
Puzzles looked down at Mario confused.
“Mario’s coping” he said weakly.
Puzzles chuckled, smiling down at him.
“Understandable”
They gazed into each other’s eyes until Luigi disturbed them. 
“Puzzles, I have a lot of work around here, can you help? I’d ask Mario but I don’t know-”
“Mario was planning to go to SMG4! WITH Mr Puzzles too!”
Luigi sighed.
“Can you help me with this at least?” Luigi almost pleaded to Puzzles.
“But of course”
“Hmph” Mario stumped off, making sure he’s very far from housework.
“He can be quite a handful sometimes” Luigi sighed again.
“But of course” Puzzles said, chuckling.
Luigi watched him catiously, while still cleaning another dirty plate left by Mario’s Mario-sized feast.
“You like him a lot, huh?”
Puzzles seemed to go into deep thought as he thought over that. 
“I guess so… in some ways”
“Some ways?” Luigi seemed puzzled by the Puzzle himself.
“I… do like spending time with him. He can be nice… my opinion can always change though! I could always… end up hating him”
“Hey I get that. Having any kind of relation with Mario isn’t exactly the easiest thing. He IS hard to handle and can be awful to handle- he can do awful things, sometimes even just to spite you. But when he doesn’t do that I do think he’s worth it. I wouldn’t have anyone else as my brother”
“That’s sweet, Luigi… I just don’t know if I’ll last beside him…”
“Oh?”
“It’s just- maybe I… I don’t know…” Puzzles got rather quiet by the end.
“If you’re scared Mario doesn’t like you, I can assure you he does. He doesn’t exactly latch onto people just like that”
Puzzles felt his screen heat up over the mention of the clinginess Mario could prosper in.
“Okay…”
“Is that all?”
“No… It’s very hard to get back to- everything. And I- never had a real friend before. Even before the- possession, I didn’t focus on it as much as I should have”
“Well… then you just have to be patient. I think you know things will be hard and that shouldn’t stop you”
“Right…. thanks, Luigi”
“Anytime”
“I’m also uh…. I also wanna ask for advice. Because I was convinced to tag along with Mario to SMG4’s and I…”
“You’re scared the crew is gonna hate you?”
“Yeah…”
“I get that, I’d be scared if I were you too. Some of them can be hard headed. But they can be really kind too. If you just act like yourself I think you should be fine”
“Really?”
“Yeah. They might make fun of you but they do that to each other all the time. You should’ve seen how SMG3 and SMG4 were before- But they still all love each other, so who's to say they couldn’t love you too?”
“Mhmm… Yea, you’re making a lot of sense”
“I know. I’m sure you’ll do fine. With Mario as well”
“Thank you, Luigi. Now I’ll feel forever indebted to you”
“Oh you” 
After they finished with the dishes, Puzzles went to get Mario so they could go to SMG4’s. 
He wasn’t in his room.
“Mario?” he called out for him “There aren’t more dishes left, we can go”
No answer.
Panic set.
It’ll be okay! It’ll be so. Fine.
“Mario, please?”
He waited in the room.
“This isn’t the time for games, please”
He paced in the room before leaving the room. He went to Luigi.
“I can’t find him”
“Mario? Hmm” 
Luigi went to the front door. He opened it. He took a big breath in. Puzzles watched in anticipation. 
“MAAARIIIOOOOOOOOOO” he shouted, he sounded amplified,, Puzzles swore he could feel the vibrations of his voice. It must carry far if it was this loud for him. How the hell did he do that? Some kind of Mario brothers gimmick or something? He wasn’t sure.
A worried Mario showed up, seemingly coming from the road he’d take to SMG4’s. Even though he was nervous, Puzzles’s heart sank. Did he not want to bring him along? Maybe he really was a burden.
“Mario! You left Puzzles here!”
Mario froze.
“Oh-” 
Puzzles didn’t say a word.
Mario collected his thoughts.
“Sorry- You still want to come?”
“Sure” Puzzles said, sounding rather defeated.
The 2 set off, Luigi could finally relax while 2 were to fight off tension.
They were silent for a while then, Puzzles not even looking Mario’s way.
“Hey… I’m sorry if I upset you. I… didn’t mean to just- ran after my empty head-”
“I thought you didn’t wanna bring me”
“What?? Why else would Mario ask you??”
“I… I don’t know, to take pity on me?”
“Mario doesn’t take pity”
“But.. you took me in as well-”
“Because Mario finds you cool!”
Puzzles felt himself getting hotter over the compliment.
“You think so?”
“Of course!”
“Well, I… I think you’re cool too” Puzzles chuckled with a lovestruck expression. 
Mario never felt so in love. Damn it.
He jumped up and hugged Puzzles, which halted him as he didn’t want to fall over. He stood for a bit before Mario spoke up, looking up at Puzzles with big puppy eyes.
“Can Mario stay here?”
Puzzles chuckled, trying to stifle his embarrassment with little success.
“Sure, but we’ll keep going”
“Good with Mario”
Puzzles went on, with Mario wrapped on him. He held him with one arm while letting the other relax by his side, following the rhythm of his stride as he followed the path to SMG4’s.
By the time they got there, both got rather used to the contact. It was hard to deny it was rather comfortable.
He saw some of the crew outside, seemingly discussing something. It was Meggy, SMG3 and SMG4, with Eggdog and Beeg there. They noticed the 2. 4 immediately went back to the discussion while the other 2 waved at them. He waved back awkwardly.
“We’re here?” Mario asked.
“We sure are… Do you want to get off?”
“Well, if Mario needs to…” Mario reluctantly loosened his grip on Puzzles, landing on his feet without trouble.
 Mario walked ahead and Puzzles followed behind, still an air of awkwardness with him. The glance 4 took at him alone brought back all the anxiety he was feeling before. 
“Hey you 2!” Meggy greeted the 2. 
“Didn’t know Puzzles was coming today as well, good to see you though” 3 said, while carefully looking to 4 too. He knew something was going on with him. Puzzles understood what he was getting.
“Hi” 4 said as he turned around, only one glance at Puzzles then looking at Mario. Even that single glance burned him.
“Mario, remember when we were talking about an event idea for 3’s café?”
They started talking about something Puzzles couldn’t contribute to. So he just stood there awkwardly. Not wanting to go anywhere because he didn’t want to leave Mario’s side but also wanted to leave so badly because he was feeling so awkward. And it definitely didn’t help that he was also really tall compared to the others. Really made him feel like he was never meant to fit in. He wished he could sink into the floor until he felt someone poke him on his forearm. He turned around to see Tari.
“Hi” she said, with a look of understanding. 
“Hey?” he wasn’t sure how to respond.
“You weren’t here before so I was wondering how good you are at games!” she said, already dragging him along. 
“Oh! Sure!” 
Mario looked at him.
“Okay! Happy gaming for you!”
Tari brought Puzzles inside, letting him take a seat on the couch in the gaming room.
“Okay… Puzzles” she looked at him with certain firmness, a sort of care “You looked like a shaking leaf. Sorry if I- appeared suddenly, I just wanted to help you out. You don’t need to game if you don’t want to”
“Uh- Thanks, Tari. I want to try at least. Just be gentle heh” he chuckled.
“But only this time”
Tari brought up Smash and showed Puzzles the controls and showed off stuff in game as well. Letting him get used to it, he didn’t play super awful. He didn’t win a single time but he did put up a good fight. 
“Sorry, Puzzles” Tari was feeling bad “It’s really hard to turn my gamer brain off. You could try fighting against a bot?”
“A bot?”
“Yeah. It’s a player controlled by the game”
“Sounds good”
They played for a while until Meggy appeared there too.
“Gaming going well?” she asked as she sat beside Tari.
“Sure is” Puzzles smiled “I didn’t know games could be so much fun”
“And this is only one! We have quite a few more here. I also have other games I sometimes bring over” Tari cheered.
“By the way” Meggy spoke more quietly “Sorry I couldn’t help you out, Puzzles. I wanted to but the talk of the café event was pretty important too.
“No worries. What’s it gonna be?”
“We’re still in the idea phase. Maid event came up but 3 shot it down”
“Maids, huh? I’d prefer butler” Tari said.
“To dress as one or to be served by one?” Meggy asked.
“Both” Tari giggled.
“Well, now I want to be a butler for it. Maybe I’ll mention that to 3.
“Oh, yeah, how did you manage to get away?”
Meggy took a bit to reply.
“Well… 4 wanted to talk to Mario privately”
Both girls hummed while Puzzles froze.
“Oh, I hope it’s nothing bad”
It was something bad, Mario could feel as he followed 4, rather quietly. It felt like if he tried anything he would be killed on sight.
“So” 4 sat down on his bed, patting the spot beside him for Mario to sit down. Mario hesitated but sat down.
“Did Mario do something wrong?”
“I’ll decide that when I know more. You are pretty clingy with him, huh?”
Mario turned red. Not only did this feel like an interrogation, it was also about his maybe-kinda-probably crush.
“Guess so” he looked away.
“Did he do something to you? Hurt you? Manipulate you? Why are you letting him live with you?”
“Mario just… wanted to be kind”
“That can’t be it. You can tell me if he tried to threaten you”
“But he didn’t! He’s actually really nice”
4 didn’t seem satisfied with the answer.
“He must have gotten to you badly”
“Oh, awfully” Mario flushed at the thought. 
4 wasn’t happy.
“You like him or something??” he asked, anger dripping out of his words.
The longer Mario didn’t reply the more sure 4 was.
“I can’t believe you. We don’t even know if we can REALLY trust him!”
“You’re not even giving him a chance!”
“You wouldn’t either if you knew what I went through because of him!”
“You would if you knew what happened in the void!”
“Shut up! He probably manipulated you then as well!”
“Why are you so insistent? Are you jealous or something?!”
“I just want to protect you” 4 sighed, lowering his voice “You’re important to me, Mario. You’re my best friend”
Mario didn’t know how to reply as he left the room, tears falling from his eyes.
“Wait!” 4 ran after him.
The 3 in the gaming room heard Mario leave. Puzzles felt it in his soul. He was terribly sad. And scared. 
“We have to check on him. He’s doing awful” Puzzles said.
The 2 girls followed him. They went to Mario outside but 4 was still trying to catch him.
“It’s gonna be worse if he betrays you when you like him” 4 shouted after Mario. He didn’t realise the other 3 were there.
Meggy ran up beside 4, grabbing him by the shoulder with force.
“You’re just making him more upset! This won’t make anything better!!”
“But what if he tries something?? He can’t-”
“Yeah, what if I try something?” Puzzles spoke up, while looking down. He wasn’t being silly, he felt scared. 
“It’s like he’s confessing to a crime right now!! Can he really be trusted??”
“Is it too far-fetched to say someone could redeem himself? Or did you never actually trust SMG3?” Mario spoke up, rather angry at 4. Throwing words he might not mean later but he was so angry. It engulfed him and Puzzles too. Puzzles could feel it burn, he was so mad. 
“That’s fucking different!” 4 lunged at him after prolonged silence. 
“And how so?? Do you have proof??” 
“Why would you say something like this about someone like him??”
“Because you speak like that about Puzzles”
“Because- UGH” 4 gave up as he walked away, leaving without another word. His aura somehow seemed to remain though as the 4 of them couldn’t say a word for a while now.
Mario was the first one to do anything, he walked up to Puzzles and held one of his hands in his.
“I trust you, don’t worry” he looked up at him, showing a hopeful smile. Puzzles smiled back.
“Thank you. At least someone… believes that”
“Hey, we believe in you too!” Tari said.
“Yeah! We’re here for you, Puzzles. Even if you did bad things in the past”
“I guess… SMG4 just doesn’t forgive. But honestly I get it. I did awful things. Then again I helped him get with SMG3-” he joked lightly. Mario chuckled at it.
“In a weird way, yeah” Meggy and Tari chuckled too.
Puzzles was glad his silly moment was a hit with the crowd. Good grade for socialisation. 
“But back to it. You’re right… it seems he doesn’t forgive easily. I’m sorry if this made things hard for you” Meggy apologised for 4. 
“You don’t need to be sorry!” Puzzles reassured her “I just hope he’ll be able to calm down. I… I don’t hate him”
“Puzzles is right, we can’t apologise for someone else. 4 will have to do that himself” Tari reassured Meggy, who earned a smile in return.
“By the way, we could go back to gaming” Puzzles suggested.
“Let’s go gaming!!” Mario cheered.
The 4 went back inside to keep playing fun games.
4 paced in his room, starting to doubt stuff. He swore he was right, he was so sure he was right. This man, he knew, he had wicked plans. Wicked plans to ruin people. He almost ruined SMG3, his world, he almost ruined his world for good. It made him so angry. The idea that he could lose his best friend that… that monster. It made him so angry. He wanted nothing more than to cut him out of their life. He wished he didn’t exist at all. So nobody would’ve gotten hurt by his schemes, let that be trauma from being killed several times, risk of losing your privacy, losing oneself to perfection, losing oneself to self loathing and the idea that you’re not enough. He had an impressive collection of things he had done and he didn’t understand how anyone could trust him. How Mario seemed to adore him so much…
Did… Did Mario fall in love with Puzzles?
No… No way. He would act differently about that. He was just… Maybe Mario is playing 4D chess with Puzzles. Sure.
Stop lying to yourself, SMG4. You know very well that you are just trying to make yourself feel better because you can’t cope with the things that happened to you. You’re lashing out because you feel alienated. But you don’t know that. You can’t put it into words. All you know is that you hate Puzzles.
You hate him so much.
He paced around a little more. It was so unfair. Why did it only have to be him?
He left the castle, walking. Just walking. Somehow ending up right back in the café.
“Hey, where were you bl- Oh my god” 3 reacted accordingly to how 4 looked. He looked so messed up.
3 dragged him away to fix him up as much as he could.
“You can’t be serious” 3 whined.
“It’s not fair” it was all 4 could say.
“What’s not fair? I’ll listen” 3 said, cupping 4’s face. But instead of saying anything he burst into tears. 
3 hugged 4, not really caring much about someone screaming outside to order.
“There there…I’m guessing this is about Mr Puzzles”
“Yeah…” 4 said, kind of ashamed in a way. It was hard to deal with the fact that no one else seemed to care.
“You know… I don’t like him too much either but… I don’t really want to concentrate on it. I’d rather give him space to improve than to… push him into new villainy.”
“But… He could take Mario from us… What would I…. Would I be a good friend if I lost him just like that, because I let things happen?”
“Blue, you’re making things worse right now… I bet Mario isn’t happy about this either. And he can fend for himself. Don’t take the guardian part of your name this seriously”
“But I… 3…” 4 seemed to press on.
3 hugged him tighter.
“I’m hugging the worry out of you, 4”
4 chuckled.
“You’re being so silly right now”
“And you’re smiling about it. It’s working.”
“You know you could… do something else to get the worry out of me…”
3 was staring at 4. 4 was staring at 3 with an emotion he identified way too quickly.
“Shush… Don’t tempt me right now. After work you can”
“Bummer”
3 gave him a quick peck on the lips.
“Too bad! Now work, slave” he said jokingly as he then left outside to finally take the yelling costumer’s order.
4 sighed, getting himself together. He couldn’t fail 3. He already did bad enough today.
The day went by rather decently. Even if the feelings didn’t leave. They festered in their minds. Almost unkillable. With so much guilt. Rage. Anxiety. Love. So much.
Hard to bear. Too hard.
The night grew closer. Mario excused himself for a walk from gaming. 
It felt like he was in a bubble. The world felt unreal around him. So many things happening. Weighing on him. He didn’t want any of this. He wondered if he deserved it anyways. Pain. Pain. Pain. Love. Pain. Guilt. Pain. Sadness. Love. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.
Guilt.
He ran and ran until he felt his soul reach back to Earth. He looked around, it was dark. Just a dark night. It was comforting. He sat down in the grass looking up at the sky. Being alone was like medicine. Sure, he enjoyed his time playing with his friends as well. Especially with Puzzles. He actually managed to beat Mario in smash because he got distracted with him. He may have a competitive heart but it’s also really stupid. Nevertheless, the grin and cheer of Puzzles made it feel like Mario won instead. Won guilt.
Guilt.
Guilt.
Was it his fault that SMG4 was acting that way? How could he ever make sure this didn’t happen again? He cared so much about him. He wanted to make things better for him so badly. 
Love.
Puzzles. He… 
Guilt.
He couldn’t ever hurt him. Even if he was forced, he’d fail to. 
So there’s only one person he could actually hurt.
He went back inside. The thought not leaving his mind. 
But he pretended. He pretended he was fine. But it was eating him up.
There was only one person he could actually hurt. For the benefit of his best friend.
And nobody noticed a thing. 
He went back home with Puzzles.  Nobody noticed.
He got home and had a shower. And still, nobody noticed. 
He told Puzzles he’d be back after a midnight snack. He still didn’t seem to notice.
Mario left the room. With steps that felt heavy but were lighter than a feather. He didn’t need Luigi to know. He took all sharp utensils out of the drawers. cutting himself in the process. It hurt.
But it didn’t do a thing. It was like the scene changed and his hands weren’t even hurt now. As pristine as ever. he bashed his hands on as many sharp edges as possible. Hoping for something to stick but nothing. It was like the world was against him hurting himself.
He cursed to himself as he tried again and again. While his hands didn’t retain even a sign of hurt, his blood still remained. Odd. He did feel a bit light headed. He tried to stab himself as well, in as many places as he could think of but it all yielded the same result of nothing truly sticking. But that might have been from him concentrating so hard on hurting himself. To get him out of this hell he put himself into. He made a big mistake. If only he waited enough inside that void for the meme guardians to save him. If only he didn’t feel a sort of kinship. If only he didn’t start liking Puzzles. If only it was so easy to cut him out of his life. If it was only so easy to make SMG4 happy. If it was only so easy for Mario to be happy. To not worry. To not feel guilty. To not feel like the cause of everything bad happening.
He felt frustrated, not knowing what he could use.
Puzzles appeared, soft light coming from his room as Puzzles seemed to turn on a smaller one. It gave him a glow. Like a saviour.
“Mario? What are you doing?” Puzzles asked, trying to keep back just how worried he was.
Mario didn’t react.
If only he didn’t take out the piece. If only he didn’t feel bad for it.
The piece…
The piece. 
Mario, without a word, bolted for the door, leaving in record speed. Puzzles went after him.
He ran after him as much as he could. But he couldn’t keep up.
He cried, holding it right at the scar. The ties. It hurt. It hurt from the pain Mario felt.
Puzzles locked eyes with the ground, concentrating. The energy, he felt it connecting the 2 of them. He searched in it. A blinding power. 
And he concentrated on it further. He wanted this to be over so badly it brought physical results.
He stopped Mario in his tracks. With only his mind. He finally managed to catch up and catch Mario in his arms.
Puzzles felt warm and comforting. The light was still strong but slowly dimmed as Puzzles held Mario in his arms.
They didn’t need to speak a word. Mario tightly hugged back, crying into Puzzles’s shoulder. 
They were there for a while. 
Just in each other’s arms, settled in silence. They understood. As much they could.
Mario’s sniffles slowly calmed down. Puzzles got up, with his arms still wrapped around Mario as he began to walk back right to their room.
Even the walk was silent but both sure were thinking. Especially as they passed by the painful red reminder. Puzzles felt like he got there too late. That he should’ve listened to the signs earlier. At least he still caught Mario from doing something bad. 
They got in their room. Puzzles settled down.
“Listen…” Puzzles started carefully “You don’t need to explain yourself if you don’t want to. That’s fine. I know you’re going through a lot I can feel it and I’m sorry… I wish I could help you more. You… helped me and… here I am… making life hell for you…”
Mario grabbed Puzzles’s head. He had a rather firm grip. They were looking at each other.
Puzzles still had that guilty look.
“I’m really sorry, Mario I-”
But before he could say another word, Mario pressed a kiss on Puzzles’s screen, immediately shutting him up. 
“You’re so much, Puzzles”
Puzzles didn’t even know what to say, his screen was just increasingly heating up. In fact he was way too hot. Mario took his hand away from his face as even through his gloves he could feel the heat becoming too hot.
“Ouch, you could fry an egg on your face” Mario tried to joke. 
Puzzles seemed frozen until he slammed Mario down and held him. He held him so hard. Something about that just made him open up more than anything else. He felt like his soul was ripped open and it felt better than anything he ever felt. 
Mario felt a bit helpless under the weight of Puzzles. Not that he minded. It was actually kind of comfortable. 
Mario wondered what SMG4 would think.
And just as that thought crossed his mind, Puzzles rose up, straddling Mario, face to face.
“What are you thinking?” Puzzles asked, a sort of carefulness carrying in his tone. Showing how cautious he was but especially just how much he cared.
Mario felt hot himself, which was obvious as Puzzles screen wasn’t exactly dim enough to hide that.
“I want you”
That stopped both. Now you’ve done it!
The 2 just stared at each other.
“I need you” Puzzles one upped the other, leaning a little closer. 
This felt like a dream.
Mario pulled Puzzles’s head down enough to press another kiss on it. 
How could this feel so natural? Brain in havoc.
As another kiss. Another move. The comfortable pressure. A bite.
A bite?
A bite into the neck. But a gentle one at Puzzles’s neck, which slowly intensified. It was like Mario knew exactly how to get to him. It felt like this could escalate further before Puzzles stopped Mario from another silly little move up his sleeve.
“We should sleep…” he said.
“But…” Mario looked at him with the biggest eyes.
“No buts” he sounded a little cranky.
“I love you”
Oh. Oh alright. That really did it. Well, no stopping now!
They slept in for quite a bit. Sure wonder why.
Luigi decided not to bother them, considering some… things he heard in the night while passing by to go to the bathroom. Better not to bother them.
They took a while to wake up but first Mario did. At least he got time to admire Puzzles in a different way… At least as much as he could from where he was, locked in the hold of him. Honestly, he looked a bit more freaky in the light seeping in but that honestly just made Mario adore him more. With a body that looked so machine yet bore scars that felt like flesh. Maybe part of the reason he didn’t want to show skin. He didn’t know something like that was possible. Adoring Puzzles even more, especially so openly. I mean after what happened… would be a little concerning if he wasn’t… Or at least confusing.
While he could admire Puzzles till the heat death of the universe, Puzzles stirred at some point too.
“Morning, Mar” he said, still kinda sleepy.
“Mar? I like that” 
“Mhmm…” Puzzles cleared his screen a bit, as if to wash the sleepiness away. As he took in his surroundings more, he felt the heat… his fans could barely keep up.
“I-I thought I dreamed that” 
“I’m happy you didn’t”
“Yeah….… me too… sure did feel like a dream too… I… felt like I wasn’t fully… in control? I don’t know”
Mario grinned.
“That’s one way to describe wanting Mario so badly”
Puzzles blushed.
“You’ve no shame!”
Mario laughed at the response.
“You’re not wrong”
Puzzles got up and started dressing up. Mario couldn’t resist looking. Even doing the fuckboy expression, biting his lip.
But when Puzzles looked at him he looked away, as if he was innocent. They continued this until Puzzles looked at Mario rather annoyed and half dressed.
“I know you’re staring at me! You don’t need to”
Mario looked down, a lovestruck grin on his face.
“Mario can’t help it. You’re nice to look at”
“Am… Am I?”
“Yeah” Mario trailed off, slowly caressing Puzzles’s calf that was closer to him
He almost gave in again. 
“No! We have to prepare! We have a whole trip to go on!”
“Buuut Mario loves youuu!!”
“Not gonna work this time. Love you too though”
Puzzles seemed to be able to finally get dressed while Mario was melting on the floor. Melting with love. That’s all that was in his head. Nothing else right now. If only that could last forever.
Mario got up, grabbing stuff to dress up as well.
Puzzles was staring at his back.
“Ayo? And you shame Mario for staring?”
Puzzles brushed it off, reaching to a spot on Mario’s back. It looked burnt but in technicolour. It stung, pain coursing through Mario’s body.
“Does this hurt?”
Mario cried out as he fell over but it was too comical to take it seriously.
“Oh I’m sorry, dear! I didn’t know I ended up hurting you!”
“It’s fine!! Mario’s fine!” he got up “Mario will just..- continue on without a shirt for now”
“Yeah, I’m really sorry though. I didn’t mean to hurt you at all” he cupped Mario’s face in his hands. Mario leaned into it.
“You’re really affectionate with Mario now” he grinned so hard about it, even Puzzles couldn’t interpret this in a negative way. If he did, he’d have to be an idiot for that. And one bigger than Mario at that.
“Is that a problem? I’ll stop” he grinned, teasing Mario as he took his hands back.
Mario huffed in response.
“Mario loves affection… Mario loves you” the shyness compared to his previous behaviour- the difference was staggering! Puzzles found him adorable either way. Oh, wasn’t he such a weird combination of lovestarved and a hopeless romantic for this silly italian? Maybe it’s not exactly like in TV but he would lie if he said he wasn’t happy. He hoped nothing would come between them. He really did hope.
Maybe a tiny bit of worry in the back of his mind. Just the sliver of a chance that something could go terribly wrong. 
“Well, time to pack” Puzzles got up after thinking for a while. Mario looked at him like he was expecting something.
“What?” he asked.
“You forgot to say it back…”
Puzzles sighed and raised Mario up in the air by his armpits.
“I love you too, silly man”
The new name Mario got for himself visibly flustered him. Though that quickly turned into joy.
“Mario IS silly!! The silliest!!”
“And do you know what silliest men do?”
“Love their TV men?”
Puzzles chuckled.
“Maybe. But packing for vacation first and foremost”
Mario sighed.
“Okayy” 
Puzzles put him down.
Puzzles started to pack for himself, taking his sweet time making sure his stuff is as compact and perfectly packed as possible. So good in fact that Tetris players would be jealous of his skills. He laughed at his little joke in his head. He was SO smart. He felt like he was on cloud nine. Maybe what they did yesterday- really eased him up. Which was a good thing. He was kind of happy to have Mario, whatever that meant for the both of them.
As he finished, he noticed Mario struggling with it. He seemed to panic. 
“Dear, are you not good at packing?” Puzzles sat beside him, looking to see he indeed had quite the mess in his suitcase.
“Luigi usually does it for Mario” Mario said, feeling a little ashamed.
“Hey, I’ll help you! I’ve already done mine”
And so Puzzles basically packed for Mario as well. Just as neatly as for himself. Mario watched each hand movement and gesture Puzzles did, like a cat trying to calculate when to pounce.
Mario grew impatient and reached out quickly, grabbing Puzzles’s hand.
Puzzles wasn’t sure how to react for a second. This wasn’t anything strange from Mario to him but he did catch him off guard. 
“Mar, dear… we can hold hands later”
Mario looked at him like a sad wet puppy. Puzzles sighed and grabbed him, placing in his lap. Mario gratefully took it as his rightful place, while Puzzles continued packing with some trouble while trying to inquire what else Mario needed. Who knew a man in his lap could be so distracting. He wasn’t sure if he was fully comfortable but it was also way too nice. He liked the closeness and all. But the weight felt strange and alien to him still. He didn’t know before how he exactly imagined cuddling but the weight was definitely something to him. Just a constant reminder of a presence to him. He was used to feeling lonely. Just because he was brainwashed it didn’t mean he forgot about that. So this presence… In general, as it had been in these past few days, the moment Mario took that piece out of him as well. He swore he felt this all was meant to happen when all that went down. He may have gone a bit crazy but… can you REALLY blame him?
They got done, they went out, seeing Luigi had packed everything else they needed for the somewhat short trip. He stared at the other 2, knowing, especially at Mario, considering he didn’t have a shirt on.
“Mario, do you plan to dress up?”
“Mario’s back really hurts, he can’t” he whined.
“It can’t be that bad- OH MY GOD” Luigi freaked out when he saw it “how did this happen??”
“I… I can’t recall right now…. could’ve been anything” Puzzles said, with little confidence. He didn’t lie but he wasn’t actually trying to be sincere either.
“I’ll see what I can do for your back” Luigi took Mario to the bathroom. Puzzles watched helplessly. He didn’t exactly want to get involved, as much as this was his fault.
He felt bad about it, awful even. He let one person get close to him and it felt like he already ruined it. Maybe now Mario is really only with him out of pity. Who would want to be around someone who hurt them? Especially at such a vulnerable time. He didn’t want the thought to fester. He really didn’t want to. But it did, like a virus, he could feel it in all that was left of his nervous system.
He wondered if he even deserved Mario in the first place. Or if he maybe only brought Mario suffering. And he still felt out of place. How could he fit into a tight knit group of friends anyways? 
And just as he got so deep, the brothers made it back, Mario looking grumpy with a shirt on while Luigi felt a little tired.
“Alright, let’s get going to SMG4’s, we’ll be late at this rate” Luigi said.
Puzzles carried the heaviest suitcases because he was actually the strongest of the 3 but also he just really wanted to occupy himself. And so he was quiet. And he didn’t say a thing about it but Mario noticed. And he didn’t like the silence coming from Puzzles. He wasn’t a therapist or anything but it didn’t exactly feel pleasant or nice. But he brushed it off for now. He just hoped he could make Puzzles feel better in some way or another. Probably in a way that doesn’t end up with him getting more toxic goop on himself that made his skin burn. He didn’t realise it yesterday but Puzzles felt… acidic? Weird stuff.
After a walk that felt longer than it should, they got to the crew. Everyone seemed ready and  were waiting for them. Nobody really felt negative outwardly about this except for 4. Though, he seemed to hold back, with 3 close to him. Puzzles felt this wasn’t going to be the easiest time. 
They got into a bus they rented for this. At least Puzzles was told it was rented but who knows with these guys. Not that he was really that against a bit of crime but he would rather be aware if he was made an accomplice in something like that.
What made him think that was the fact that there was a driver inside but they didn’t look very happy about having to do this. In fact, they looked rather scared. Puzzles decided to push the thought aside as he ascended on the bus the best he could with his tall build.
He sat beside Mario, Luigi went to talk with the others. Puzzles sat by the window. Due to the length of his legs, he actually took up 2 seats and Mario was kind of sitting on his leg. Not that he needed to, there would’ve been space for him elsewhere. But it seemed Mario was visibly very stubborn about sitting with Puzzles. 4 was increasingly bothered by this. 3 grew tired of this at this point, talking with Meggy and Tari instead. 
It was quite the long trip, it was a few hours. It was long with the emotions it had to drag with itself. It felt like it was anchoring time down, intentionally making it harder for time to go on.
But they got there, relatively in good spirit. 4 was really bringing it down. In his obsession to protect Mario he didn’t even notice it was affecting the others as well. In fact, most of the trip, 3 was quietly talking about how annoying he was right now to Meggy and Tari. Listing the ways he had to pander to at least somewhat calm him down which soon stopped working. Though, he tried to be cool about it because he was worried too. He didn’t hate 4 for this, he knew it must be harder for him. But this was beginning to become a lot for him. As much as he loved him, with his whole heart, his mental state kind of reminded him of the perfect incident. It really scared him. Especially because what if something similar happened to him like then. With someone evil enough to take advantage of the situation. And make their life hell.
Regardless, they were there now, packing out to a rather large apartment type of building by the beach. It had enough rooms to house everyone. Luigi kindly asked to be in a different room from Mario and Puzzles, which left the crew questioning for a second. Regardless, he somehow ended up with Saiko and Melony.
They took out the guest bed for him. He put his stuff down neatly.
“So, how come you didn’t want to stay with Mario this time?” Saiko asked, suspicious of this. Melony was sitting on the bed while sorting out her suitcase to take her laptop out she brought for the trip. She was listening though.
“Ah well…” Luigi sighed, a bit annoyed.
“It can’t be that bad” 
“I’m pretty sure they had sex yesterday night”
That shocked both girls, even Melony looked up from the stuff she pulled up to sift through. She recently got into hacktivism to pass the time so it was related to that. Some kind of an article from someone she looked up to.
“Are- Are you sure??”
“Yeah. I kind of- heard them. I OBVIOUSLY didn’t want to” he sighed again. It wasn’t the fact that he found it weird or bad but it was still kind of mind boggling to think about. Especially because just before Mario was crying to him about crushing on Puzzles and now this? Things moved fast with these 2.
“Huh…” Saiko thought for a bit “I see it honestly”
“Mario did have that kind of glow to him” Melony commented which made both look at her weird.
“Nah, he actually burned his back with- whatever comes out of Puzzles’s screen. I don’t know how they did that and why but I don’t need to know”
“BURNED??” both girls yelled in unison. 
“Yeah. I actually had to treat it for him today so he could wear a shirt at least while we get here. It looked pretty rough”
“Mario and the things he gets into I swear” Saiko didn’t know whether to laugh or feel annoyed. Maybe a bit of both if she had to be honest.
“I just hope SMG4 doesn’t freak out too much if hears about this” Luigi thought out loud, concerned. Even scared for his brother.
“Why would he? It’s kind of none of his business” Melony said.
“He really seems to hate Puzzles. I don’t really get it but…”
“I’ve noticed” Saiko was annoyed too “Look, I get it, he was bad but there was a reason for that. Besides, he IS dating SMG3, he’s so unreasonable”
“I have a feeling he just wants to protect Mario but… I’m thinking he might have been doing the opposite…”
The 2 looked at him, at the brink of the worry rising in them. 
“Go on” Saiko said finally.
“I uh… woke up to a pool of blood in the kitchen. I don’t know how it got there… it… could be Mario’s…And there was no sign of struggle. Nothing knocked over or anything, just a single misplaced knife and a pool of blood… it led me to believe that he… he…”
They were looking at him shocked. Luigi finally broke down. The 2 girls scrambled to comfort him, Melony as much as she could with her laptop in her lap. They were just hoping the worst wouldn’t happen. Hopefully.
After a bit of time passed, they heard knocking at their door.
Turns out it was 4, he was gathering everyone to come down. 
The 3 tagged along, following him along with the others.
A big part of the crew was there, with the Mario brothers, the meme guardians, all 4, Melony, Saiko and Puzzles of course. Meggy and Tari decided to stay in their rooms for a bit. The bus driver seemed to vanish for some reason. As they went out they noticed Boopkins was already in there with Bob who had a bright pink donut pattern floaty. He also had those gaudy kind of sunglasses that were gold so it kind of balanced out.
Saiko slowly entered the water, helping Melony out while Mario quickly charged in the water, splashing people on the way. 4 ran after him, yelling about manners. There was something unsettling about his tone of voice but he didn’t say anything wrong. Yet it remained eerie regardless. Puzzles also silently wondered when 4 would mention Mario’s back. He was surprised he didn’t, maybe it was the reason his tone of voice felt so unsettling. Like he was expecting him to lash out again. BUT he knew 4 saw it, he saw that he saw it. And it was terrifying.
1 and 2 set up chairs and parasols so they could enjoy the beach without too much sun. They were also seemingly discussing important meme guardian business as they usually would. 
Puzzles decided to stay back, quietly, sitting just barely in the water. He didn’t want to interfere with 4 and Mario. His reaction to Mario’s back was already scary enough for him. Not even a word, just looking at him so deeply judgmentally. The thoughts reemerged, the idea that he really didn’t deserve any respect. That he deserved a life meant for loneliness and nothing else. Just like how he was before. It would probably be easier. If only Mario let him die instead, he wouldn’t need to be such a black sheep within such great people. He could have moved on from a painful life. He could’ve ended it there. it could’ve been so good.
“Oi, you don’t want to come in deeper?” 3 asked Puzzles, which shook him out of the awful thoughts.
“No… Don’t want to disturb Mar and SMG4 having fun. I think they deserve it”
3 sighed.
“You’re selfless for being lonely for so long. I would be so much more jealous”
“Jealous?”
“You obviously love him, no? I know the signs. Way too well”
Puzzles heated up at how easy he was to read.
“Oh dear… I didn’t know it was that obvious”
“So then? Don’t you just… want him by your side?”
“I… I don’t know if I deserve him” he got rather quiet.
“Blue is a dumbass, don’t let him tear you down”
“But is he really? I.. even hurt Mario”
“Hurt him?”
“Uh… Not important how”
3 stared at Puzzles. Puzzles stared back.
“Oh-.. kay but… really. I don’t get you”
“I made life harder for him. He had… an episode of sorts yesterday. He doesn’t take SMG4’s behavior well and it feels like it’s my fault… I mean if I was just… dead… he wouldn’t”
“Y’know, 4 and I cause each other problems all the time.”
“I think this is different”
“I used to try to terrorise him. We were some… awful people to each other. Worse than what you are for Mario. And we still got here. You know how?”
“No…”
“Love prevails… as much as I hated to admit it before”
“You think so?”
“Definitely. And because of you and that shitty piece of that damned box, I learned it very intimately”
“Sorry about that..”
“Thank you”
“You what now?”
“It might sound messed up but I needed that I think… We both needed it. I never realised before how stubborn 4 was actually about me. I never would’ve figured out if it didn’t get so bad. We might still be here, not dating but still painfully pining if it wasn’t for you”
“I assume you’re joking”
“No. We were a hopeless case” 3 laughed.
Puzzles reacted with chuckling as well.
“Well, I just hope I can somehow… convince 4 that I’m good enough for Mario”
“Way better way to think. I’m going in now, good luck”
3 left in, jumping on 4 and pushing him in the water with a swift and calculated move. Puzzles chuckled at the sight, especially as then they begin to playfully fight. 4 was way less freaky with a smile on his face, having fun. He almost wished that could be a sight that would look at him that way. Just a sliver of acceptance for him. 
He looked up at the sky, thinking stuff through. So many things he wanted to do. And number 1 on his list was to make 4 like him, whatever it would take. He felt like he was trying to achieve the approval of a protective father. While no, it was just his dear’s bestie.
He wondered how he could even do that. It definitely wouldn’t be him trying to show off with his skills. 4 would think he was shallow and maybe even think he was planning something worse secretly. If he poured his heart out, 4 probably wouldn’t listen either. Maybe Mario could put in a good word for him? Or the others, as much as they can. Convincing 4 that he wasn’t evil anymore was way more trouble than what his ideas could change. He sighed.
He suddenly jerked up at the sensation of someone poking his shoulder several times. It was Mario.
“What’s up, Mario?”
“You were sitting here, alone”
“I didn’t want to disturb your time with SMG4”
“Mario has space for everyone”
“SMG4 is questionable in that regard”
Mario could only sigh in response as he leaned onto Puzzles’s shoulder.
They spent time silently, it was maybe a bit too silent for Mario. It looked like he was out of energy.
“Say…” Puzzles started awkwardly after a while.
“Hm?”
“How’s… your back”
“It was totally worth it”
“That’s- That’s NOT what I asked”
“But that’s what Mario cares about”
“YOU… You’re so shameless” Puzzles couldn’t help but smile.
“Maybe. But you love Mario either way”
“I sure do”
They stayed in comfortable silence. 
Meggy and Tari finally arrived as well. Meggy had her hands behind her back, nothing suspicious. The grin on her face was definitely not suspicious as well.
She looked around, looking for the right victim to strike. She spotted the one least suspecting it: Bob, looking half asleep on his silly floaty. She aimed with precision champions would get jealous about. She then shot, water sprung out of her gun, hitting Bob just right, knocking off his glasses.
“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR??” he shouted, looking around for  the culprit.
Meggy and Tari were loudly laughing about this so it didn’t take a lot  for Bob to see them. 
“What, Bob? can’t handle a bit of water, eh?”
Bob didn’t reply verbally, instead he pulled out his mega deluxe golden water guns that matched his sunglasses he was so painfully separated from.
And from here, a war began as others brought out their guns too.
Puzzles panicked as he quickly got up and ran away, while Mario sadly got caught in the fight, he had no choice but to join in.
He found a place to hide, he was out of view by this large rock.
He sat down and tried his best to calm down. His circuits could’ve gotten damaged there badly. He didn’t want to think of the nightmare that would be fixing that kind of damage. He had to once and he still wasn’t sure if he fully recovered from it.
He just sat there, in the sand, still feeling the water dripping down on his lower limbs. The sand sticking to him felt uncomfortable but he could manage. 
He sighed, laying against the rock. His mind felt a little empty. He didn’t exactly expect to be left alone like this. Maybe it was just his brain playing tricks on him but he felt uneasy for some reason.
That reason turned out to come realy quick by. SMG4. Just the 2 of them. 
“AH!!” Puzzles got surprised by 4’s presence as he stared him down as he was good for nothing.
“I’ve got a few words for you” he said, it seemed he wouldn’t waste his time with useless small talk.
“Yeah?” Puzzles was scared.
“The bruise on his back was you, wasn’t it? What did you do to him?”
“I uh…” Puzzles got quickly nervous “You don’t need to know that”
One of 4’s eyes twitched. He was NOT happy.
“If I find out you’re controlling him this way, you’re dead”
“I’m not! I promise. I care about him too, okay? He hadn’t been doing well”
“Like I’d believe you. If you really aren’t controlling him you would tell how he got the bruise”
“I said you don’t want to know”
“It was clearly you”
“Yeah, but you don’t need to know how”
“What could be worse than fucking mind control goop??”
“...Acidic…” Puzzles turned away, honestly thinking about it just made him heat up all over again.
“Acidic??” 4 was unsure what to think. He was trying to be mad but he was more lost on where this was going.
“And it… got on his back on accident… I didn’t mean to, we… got carried away” Puzzles tried to leave out the most important part.
“C…Carried away? With… WIth what?” 4 was left confused as he was trying to figure it out. But Puzzles wasn’t replying anymore, instead strongly trying to avoid eye contact with 4.
“Did…” it clicked for him “Holy fuck, Mr Puzzles, did you fuck my best friend??”
Puzzles grew visibly more nervous.
4 was left more confused if anything.
“I-  I don’t know what you’re planning with… all this you’re doing but you’ll NEVER convince me”
“I get that…”
“Blah blah I can’t hear your pitiful acting” 4 left, not listening to Puzzles’s words which actually were as sincere as they get.
“It’s okay…” Puzzles got up “I just wish you didn’t ruin stuff this way for other people” he said that last part under his breath, which 4 luckily didn’t end up hearing.
“You know, I really don’t get your deal” 4 said.
“I have no deal. I just wanna live again”
“That’s what they all say”
“Didn’t SMG3 have a similar thing”
“Unlike you, he wasn’t a parasite on other people”
“I… was invited”
“Maybe if you had a spine you would have declined”
Ouch.
“Maybe… It would be easier for you, would’t it? For the both of you. If I were just… out of the picture”
4 didn’t say anything. When it was said outloud like this it felt… different.
Puzzles continued.
“I want you to get one single thing through your head if it won’t be anything else” Puzzles said, glaring at 4 “You can believe I’m still a villain all you want, you can believe I want to hurt people all you want. But if you do this to the detriment of Mario’s mental health and constantly try to infantilize him with trying to ‘’’’’’’care’’’’’’’’’’’ for him, thinking you know so much better than everyone else, just know you’re annoying everyone else in the process. And hurting Mario more than you’ll ever realise.”
And with that, he left 4 dumbfounded. He wasn’t even sure how to react. This GUY trying to lecture him?? What the fuck did he know about life anyways??
He stomped off, far away from everyone as he went back inside. He didn’t want to see anyone then. He needed to see some funny memes. If they could even help him at this point.
Mario noticed this. He felt awful again. Even Puzzles joining back didn’t quite help.
Especially because 4 seemed to have left for good. The silence he left felt louder than anything.
“Dear, are you okay?” Puzzles finally asked him.
Mario couldn’t verbally respond without crying so he just shook his head.
“If… you’re worried about SMG4… I kind of talked to him.”
“Wh… What did you say to him?” Mario asked, though he did tear up in the process.
“Just… something he really needed to hear. A piece of my mind”
“You shouldn’t hurt him… he doesn’t deserve that”
“He WAS hurting you, no?” Puzzles grew a bit frustrated and spoke a bit louder, gaining their friends’ audience.
“Is this about 4?” 3 asked, stepping into it.
“I just.. I told him that he’s hurting Mario with his bullshit.”
“It’s- not-” 
“Yeah, it’s so easy to see! Mario looks miserable ever since 4 started being overprotective” Meggy chimed in.
Mario felt uneasy.
“Guys-”
“Yeah, you guys are right, even I’m upset about it” Luigi joined in after listening for a bit “I’m WELL aware”
“Please just-”
“I’m so sad he’s been causing so much trouble! If only we could all just get along” 
“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP” Mario broke, scaring everyone.
“Oh, dear…? Are you…”
“You guys are being so mean about Mario’s BEST friend. Sure, he is an asshole but he’s MARIO’S asshole” he got up and left the group, aiming to search for 4, leaving everyone there stunned. Puzzles felt bad.
“I… really thought I was doing the right thing” Puzzles felt guilt wash him over.
“You tried” 3  pat him on his back.
“I just feel like I can’t make things right. Like things won’t ever be perfect”
“Well, with people like us around, it won’t be” 3 tried to be reassuring “but we can try to make it work, you know, love prevails”
“Aww, 3, didn’t know you were giving away advice like this now” Meggy giggled.
3 tried to shush her.
Puzzles smiled at the interaction.
“Is it bad if I need time to  figure out how I can make it work?”
“We’ll be here for you either way” Tari said, stepping beside him.
“Exactly! Cuz what else are friends for?” Luigi joined in.
“Aww you guys” Puzzles could melt “I’ll… really try my best!”
And he got wrapped in a brief group hug. Damn, did it feel nice to have friends!
Meanwhile, Mario was banging on SMG4’s room to no avail, screaming, crying for him to open up. 
“Please….. SMG4…….. This can’t go on… I know Puzzles was a bit mean to you but…. just please talk to me”
“Whatever you want to say you can say without opening the door” 4 said, quietly. It was hard to read his tone.
“I know you’re scared of Mario being tricked into an awful thing but he promises he’s not! If Mr Puzzles wasn’t actually nice he wouldn’t like him as much as he does! Mario knows you want to protect him but still- You shouldn’t feel so much burden over that! Mario doesn’t need you to worry” he was practically crying. He just wanted things to be okay so badly.
He sniffled there for a while.
“Hope you at least tried to understand me” he said, as if hope left him.
And then the world turned awfully quiet for 4. He thought for a while it was nothing. But that nothing really felt like something. As in that something bad could happen, and it could happen right under his nose without him doing anything. 
The anxiety rising in him after a few minutes got the best of him. He finally unlocked the door, even the unlocking felt painfully heavy and slow. He had not time for this shit.
“Mario?” he looked around, seeing no sight of the italian. He grew more worried as he called out again, receiving no response.
He went around in the rooms. He went to check all of them, he was in none of them. Although, something caught his eye about 1 and 2’s room. Something very important. But he wouldn’t go that far… right? Right? 
Okay, now he was REALLY worried as he barged out the door with force that could’ve broken it if it didn’t open so easily as he tried to find any clues where Mario could have gone. This was BAD.
Puzzles could feel it too. He excused himself as he went looking for Mario himself.
As he did, he found 4 first instead.
Puzzles glared at 4. 4 glared at Puzzles.
Time seemed to stop.
After glaring enough both sighed. Which made them look at each other with judgement all over again.
“We should stop this” Puzzles said, begrudgingly. He was holding it back but damn 4 didn’t do much to show he’s good to be around.
“You’re right” 4 sighed, defeated.
“Let’s just… try and find Mario”
“Yeah”
The 2 went on silently, which was the most peaceful they had been around each other.
“You know…” 4 started.
“This isn’t the time”
“I’m just worried over what he might be doing”
“He’s hurt, I know that”
“Duh, idiot”
Puzzles rolled his eyes.
“What do YOU know anyways?”
“He took the godbox piece”
“He did WHAT????”
“I… I noticed it wasn’t in SMG1 and 2’s room anywhere when I looked around to try and find him.”
“Oh my god…”
“Yeah I… god I feel so bad…”
“That’s the first step”
“YOU’ve got nerve”
“SMG4… I get it, you’re jealous, he told me he’d go over to sleep and even cuddle you. I’m… not trying to steal him away”
4 blushed at the mention of it.
“Me? Jealous? No… No I…”
“He IS your best friend so of course you care a lot. I… don’t blame you but you did go too far”
“... I just… can’t help being anxious I guess? It feels like anything can be out to get us at this point…”
“Look… SMG4. I’ll promise you something. I’ll let SMG1 and 2 do all the things and tests to confirm I have no ill will anymore, no godbox manipulation. Don’t you know how it feels? You… become… something else…”
“It’s… scary…”
“I’m sorry if I scared you too”
“Yeah…though, how do you know the fact that the godbox manipulated us before?”
“Sometimes… it’d whisper things. The piece had a faint voice”
“A… A voice??”
“Of course… It would tell me what to do and manipulate my senses to think I’m doing the right thing. It would also tell me some information I could use to my advantage. And sometimes it would utter words I couldn’t connect anywhere. Sometimes I wonder if… the piece itself went insane…”
“That’s… scary I’m… I’m sorry. For… everything these past few days I guess”
“I’ll only accept if you accept me too”
4 stared at Puzzles.
“Maybe after we save Mario from doing something stupid”
They walked for a while. The quiet wasn’t so uncomfortably tense anymore. Puzzles found 4 a lot more likable when he wasn’t swearing at him and staring daggers into him. As they walked they spotted Mario at a cliff, his back turned to them. His arms in front of him, holding the piece. He seemed lost in it.
“Mario!!” Puzzles shouted for him as he and 4 got closer and sped up.
Mario turned a bit too fast, slipping off the edge.
Puzzles and 4 jumped after him with not much thinking. Puzzles caught both of them, utilising his long arms. 4 was too busy fearing death to actually object against it. None of them wanted to die, so badly too. Like a sense of determination crossing across them like electricity, light engulfed all 3 of them, slowly slowing their fall and making them land safely. Though, they barely realised that with how bright and strong the light was. Puzzles noted it was stronger than when he kept Mario back last time. But it felt similar.
As they finally came back to their senses from such an adrenaline inducing fall, 4 picked Mario up, cheering he was saved. But Puzzles did too. And he was taller so with that 4 came too. 4 didn’t mind it much but it did feel weird being lifted up like this. While Mario was SO confused.
“I’m so glad we managed to save you” Puzzles expressed his happiness with words.
“Mario thought he’d die for good”
“Did you want to?” 4 asked.
Mario lowered his head, not answering. But then for a different reason as he looked in his hands, seeing what the piece had become. It went form the pit of darkness it had, turning blindingly bright but still somehow safe to look at. It also seemed to constantly shift in shape. The other 2 looked at it too, just as confused.
“Did we… do this?” Puzzles asked.
“Guess so” 4 replied.
Mario looked at one of them then the other.
“You 2 are not trying to kill each other anymore?”
“We… talked” 4 said “I’m sorry for how I acted, Mario… I really am”
“Mario knows”
“I’m also sorry. Lashing out wasn’t exactly the… best choice I made today”
“You both need therapy”
The 2 laughed.
“We’ll make it work. Somehow” Puzzles reassured Mario, finally putting both of them down.
“And we need to show 1 and 2 what happened to the piece. I don’t know whether they’ll be super excited about it or if they’ll be bummed out they can’t examine it further”
“Probably a bit of both”
“Mario’s…” Mario spoke up, changing the subject “MARIO’S SO HAPPY HIS FAVOURITE PEOPLE ARE GETTING ALONG” he was jumping with joy. It only just fully settled in then.
That was when the others got there.
“You guys are okay??” Meggy was running in the front.
“We were so worried!” Boopkins ran ahead, although he was trying to catch his breath.
“Sure are but” 4 pointed at the piece that changed in Mario’s hands. 
Everyone was shocked, 1 and 2 were in fact so shocked they both fell over. There was a lot to tell and the crew was sure shocked, especially at the fact that 4 and Puzzles talked it out. The piece went back to its rightful place and then they could finally have the few days they’d spend there be chiller. There were still problems but it wasn’t anything the crew couldn’t bear. One could say that they weren’t perfect but they still found integrity.
For now. You know the saying, nothing lasts forever! However for now, things are okay, which was what really mattered.
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jacarandaaaas · 3 days
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I notice how (most of) the fandom likes to pin Mirabel as motherly but...Camilo's right there. I can see him getting strict when he needs to be or blurts out the right advice at the right time...which literally shocks everyone when he does but still. In other words, he's the "mom/dad" friend that everybody needs at the right time.
He takes care of kids all day + Is a natural caretaker like Julieta is. We don't know much of his personality other than "mischievous" but taking care of kids from an early age can surely make someone responsible and mature overtime.
Mirabel isn't the town babysitter; she has her own things going on. And I know she loves kids and all, but she strikes more as an older sister/ "aunt who gives you the candy you aren't supposed to have" kind of gal than a motherly type. Don't get me wrong, I honestly think she's good with advice too, but Camilo comes in a close second.
Yet, there's literally a tag on ao3 that's "Mirabel Madrigal acting as Antonio Madrigal's parental figure" that belongs to 94 fics. It's not a lot but still.
I'm okay with it being an au and all, have your fun, but Camilo takes care of kids on a regular basis. Shouldn't he be the one that's seen as parental?
It would be funny to see the slacker get fed up with someone's antics and start scolding like a parent would. I'm sure when it happens it makes the person do a double take because it's not something he does often. Rarely even.
So, when it does happen, it's shocking.
It would be nice to have Camilo be painted as someone who is emotionally mature. Maybe not to the extent of Mirabel, but like I said, he takes care of children. That has to make someone emotionally mature to some extent.
It would be nice to see Camilo not painted as a jerk for once. Sure, he's incredibly blunt but not a jerk! And yes, he's a teen boy, he's going to feel emotions like one, but we SAW him giving tea to his mom when she was freaking out.
Not jerk teenager would do that unless they were forced too. Camilo isn't forced, he wants his mama to be calm so SHE can feel a little better. We can see that by the way he's talking to her.
It would be hilarious to see Camilo using a chancla on someone (maybe a bully who's harassing Mirabel) and ending it with-
"AND DON'T THINK YOUR PARENTS WON'T HEAR ABOUT THIS!"
Sorry for the rant, I didn't intend for it to get that long.
anon you are speaking my language!! I’ve talked about my dislike for parentified mirabel before so it’s nice to see I’m not alone on that!
camilo definitely has a more nurturing side and we see it as early as the opening song! Whilst I wouldn’t go as far to say he acts like a parent he definitely knows how to discipline children and is just naturally good at dealing with them! I would love to see more content that talks about how caring camilo is (I am sick of the jerk camilo thing he’s not heartless guys!) I can definitely see him as more experienced with kids than mirabel as he’s the babysitter she’s more just the fun one who hangs around with them! it’s a very different dynamic as we don’t really see mirabel necessarily looking after kids only entertaining them! As for your point on camilo being emotionally mature I would have to agree! the mothers wouldn’t trust him with their kids if they thought he would be irresponsible! he definitely knows how to scold them even if it’s surprising when it happens! I’m glad you mentioned the tea scene, as I think it shows a different side to camilo! he is caring and he’s good at comforting people! he isn’t gonna try make a situation worse he cares about his mother and wants to assure her! and I hate when people use that scene against pepa too! it is normal to make your mother tea weirdos!!! I love that scene despite how brief it is and we see glimpses of that side of camilo in the comics too!
As for mirabel 100% agree! she definitely strikes me as someone the kids would view as the cool older best friend much more than a parental figure. They don’t want to make her mad because in their eyes she’s cool! she’s fun and entertaining and they don’t want to make her mad! it’s not the case of a parent where it’s they know they’ll get in trouble for it! that’s partly what inspired my camp counselor au lmao! the fact mirabel is so good with kids in a way she makes them feel validated she doesn’t reprimand them she is someone they view as a friend! The mirabel is antonios mother fic genre is one I completely avoid i love their relationship because she is so much more of an older sister figure to him! I’ve said before I don’t like these fics so I tend to avoid them even if I don’t really read fics anymore lmao!
but I agree with most of your points! camilo is always seen as the fun one whilst mirabel is the parental one when in canon it’s the other way around! that’s not to say camilo isn’t fun because he absolutely is but we see him actually babysitting we see mirabel just hanging out with kids for fun! what I really need to see is mirabel and camilo as a babysitting duo that would be so fun!! both of them are 15 and deserve to have fun!! let mirabel have fun!! I would love to see more stuff involving camilos nurturing side for sure though!
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gurugirl · 2 days
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Hi, idk really why I want to ask you this but sometimes I just feel so insecure about the fact I’m still a virgin at 23. I haven’t even kissed someone. I’ve always been so insecure about my looks that I’ve never wanted to get intimate with someone, and i know I’m not ugly but I just feel like now the fact I have never had anything makes me feel repulsive. I’ve been on dates but I’ve just never felt that interested in them? I like my alone time too and I feel like I can’t be bothered trying to force a relationship when I want to work on myself. I’m going travelling in 6 months for a year and I doubt I’ll meet someone when I’m travelling so I’ll be 25 almost when I come back and still a virgin. Is that bad? I know I should take things at my pace but I just feel like there must be something wrong with me if I don’t really want to with anyone I’ve met who’s been into me? What should I do?
I got wordy here so a read more was necessary ↓
Hi hon. I say this anytime someone asks me about having not met some milestone yet - but you still being a virgin at 23 really doesn't define you at all and it's not weird. I bet I could post a poll right now and ask who's still a virgin past the age of 23 and you'd see a lot more virgins than not. In fact, I just had a recent anon who is also 23 and a virgin (pretty sure I posted this ask yesterday - check the #ask tag on my blog if you'd like) so you're not alone. Not even close.
Milestones, especially something like when you should lose your virginity, should all be done away with. There's no timeline for something like that. And I'm sure you've heard it before but you definitely want to enjoy your first time having sex and do it with someone you trust and not force yourself to get it over with. While I think virginity is mostly just a social construct, it can be a big deal to us as individuals.
You aren't repulsive, there's nothing wrong with you, and you get to decide when and with whom you do have sex with. No one but you. I actually think you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. You've gone on dates and have made the mature decision that you weren't that into the people you dated, you know you're someone who enjoys your alone time (me too hon), you already know better than to force a relationship (some people don't get this concept bc they're scared to be alone and by the time they realize what they've done it's too late), and you're about to go on a year-long travel which is huge and there would be so many people your age terrified to travel for a year. You're brave, adventurous, and smart.
I think you're way more amazing than you realize, just from this ask I can pick up how mature and emotionally intelligent you are. Don't compromise. You're doing absolutely amazing. And also don't discount yourself that you're not going to perhaps meet someone on your travels. Who knows what will happen? Maybe you'll still be a virgin after the year is up - but that's perfectly okay too. Be open to what could happen and keep doing what you're doing.
Also, it's going to benefit you to not talk badly about yourself. Start telling yourself how impressive and how unique you are. Do away with saying such negative things. Seriously. No more of that that! You're going to be just fine. Remember that you're still young, you're smart, and you're about to do something that most people in this world cannot say they've ever done, nor would they be brave enough to (enjoy wherever your travels take you!).
xoxo
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medi-bee · 4 months
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isat pokemon au, my liege?
my rambling in tags
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#my art#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#pokemon#siffrin#mirabelle#isabeau#odile#bonnie#i am not individually tagging pokemon sorry. floragato eevee ursaring scorbunny meowstic <- for anyone who does not know them#im personally a big fan of when artists mold pokemon designs like clay to fit their characters so i tried to channel that#siffrin really does have the perfect mystery dungeon backstory. washes up on a beach with no memories of their past type of deal yknow#i imagine that he was still a sprigatito then? and evolves at some point during their journey? dont ask me for details i dont know them#veryy tempting to make him an absol but ive already seen that done very well!! so i kept most of these to floragato sif#mirabelle being an eevee is suuuch low hanging fruit sorry. i could not resist the evolving pokemon not wanting to evolve trope#i was concerned that sif was no longer shortest party member until i realized they just stand on their back legs all the time to feel talle#when quadruped like mira he is still shortest. sorry siffrin#isa gave me such a hard time. like i never thought i would turn a character into ursaring of all things but it really was the best choice#my other choices were bewear or pawmot if you care. he’s so bear coded#if going purely based on looks i probably would have made odile a sneasler. but i wanted her to be psychic#ill be honest bonnie was purely vibes. they carry the treasure bag :)#never draw bonnie's hat in profile worst mistake of my life#loop is still cat shaped here but i’ve seen the idea of them changing species thrown around. much to think about#i like the idea of the party seeing sif and loop side by side and immediately clocking their entire deal#the change god is mew btw. very important information to no one but myself#eurasie as hisuian zoroark?? lots of hair. and the king can be darkrai#don’t mind the inconsistencies. me and my 2781 ways of drawing the same character#wait what does an eevee look like again. googles it. oh i really crabbed this one up#uhh. looks around. been sitting on this one for a bit too long i think. maybe ill clean up some more sketches later
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wavesoutbeingtossed · 6 months
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The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.
We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.
@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)
If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.
(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)
We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.
Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.
By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.
But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)
One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)
With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.
To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)
At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.
TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.
I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.
#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two!#can remove if needed!#but you guys made me think a lot#this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day#where she relayed an argument she had with her partner#who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes#and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see#and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’#and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence#when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it#(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol)#long post#again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵‍💫#i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so#also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive#being a shitty partner does though!#writing letters addressed to the fire#it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed#she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it#because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them#whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner#in her adult life at least#and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted
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toddtakefive · 4 months
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thinking about todd and his resolve toward… not quite isolation, but being alone in a room full of people again. he goes along to the study room to sit on his own and do his homework, he sits at the poets table and follows along with what’s being said while keeping quiet, he goes to the meetings at all but doesn’t necessarily contribute (in fact, if you watch him when cameron is telling the story ‘from camp in sixth grade’, you can see that he recognizes it before any of the other poets but doesn’t voice it until they all have). he’s not alone, necessarily, if you want to get technical about it, he’s just lonely, and he’s generally okay with that. he doesn’t have friends and that’s fine, he doesn’t participate in class and that’s fine, he doesn’t have a relationship with his family and that’s fine—he could live without any real connection and he’d have been, more or less, fine.
the thing about when he says “i can take care of myself just fine!” is that he isn’t really wrong, you can infer that he’s been doing it his entire life anyway, it’s that ‘taking care of yourself’ isn’t the same thing as really living or being happy. todd’s an introvert, certainly, and even as he gets closer to the group he defaults to sitting quietly in the background, but he’s also denying himself community out of fear not introversion. todd isn’t friendless because he’s an introvert, although that definitely plays a part, he’s friendless because he pushes anyone that might want his company away. if anyone has every wanted for his attention in the first place. (neil’s unwavering interest in him is unique (even when it comes to the rest of the poets, who are fine with todd coming along and joining the group, but aren’t really hellbent on him being there in the beginning) and his refusal to accept it is a direct result of being so lonely growing up.)
there’s obviously something to be said about the implications of his parents neglect, and the more than likely fact that he grew up friendless, and how those both play a part in in him being so skilled at dodging social interaction/being so avoidant of it, but by the time we see him in the movie he’s all but accepted his fate as being alone his entire life. he’s already accepted being the family disappointment, and he’s already accepted he’ll never amount to anything, and he obviously doesn’t like it, but he’d have managed living with that knowledge without the confirmation that it was all wrong. would he have been miserable? almost certainly. but he’d have managed. he’d done it for that long already, anyhow.
#and like obviously it’s BAD in the long run and his isolation IS only making his life worse but… genuinely he’d have been alright#all things considered#it’s super interesting to me how it’s neil who starts the domino effect of todd’s life becoming Less Shit#both by beliving in him and putting faith in him that he’s never seen before and refusing to let him hide away#but it isn’t a savior moment on neil’s part#and i find it so odd when people frame it as one#todd is like… actively irritated at him in that scene 😭#neil is right that todd needs to get out of his shell and put himself out there and Believe in himself#but todd can’t accept it yet because he can’t see what neil sees in him yet and doesn’t believe it exists at all#and it frustrates him because unlike everyone else neil REFUSES to give up on him#and as far as todds concerned it’ll be for nothing#as far as todd’s concerned ​neil isn’t a savior or a hero in that scene he’s an annoyance#a necessary one in the grand scheme of things but an annoyance all the same#i think people forget that just because todd DOES want to break out of his shell (‘don’t you think you could be?’ / ‘no! i… i don’t know!’ +#‘come on you heard keating don’t you want to *do* something about it?’ / ‘*yes* but…’) doesn’t mean he knows how or believes he actually CAN#todds autonomy can be taken away from him a lot (ironic) and he can be twisted into someone with no opinions or thoughts or whims +#outside of neil but that isn’t really the case#and a part of that blame lands on the movie because todd doesn’t get explored a lot but there’s still evidence of him being his own person#he’s not a yesman and he tells neil when his ideas are stupid (keeping the audition from his father) or he just doesn’t personally agree +#(the entire ‘no’ scene) and he functions perfectly well when neil isn’t around and while they aren’t focuses +#there are short scenes where todds alone or scenes that start eith them apart that make it clear they aren’t attatched to each other +#in the way people can often write them to be (that is in the trenches if the other is missing)#this post and all these tags are my long winded way of saying FUCK the codependent anderperry thing some people subscribe to it makes me#mad#neil’s goal is to help todd grow into himself and become his own person and find his identity more than anything#and todd doesn’t need neil to hold his hand to do literally anything and everything he’s a normal guy with anxiety#come on guys#dps#dead poets society#todd anderson
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fisherrprince · 9 months
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oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock
#say one thing wrong to me and you will have a wonderful few days with the rock#if angry silly girls have 100 fans etc if they have 0 fans i have died#sorry i saw a YouTube meme i vehemently disliked on principle and got mad at the only child behavior-#kipspeak#she is just short tempered and uses anger to mask other more ‘shameful’ emotions!!! alphy did the same thing with just deciding not#to express them. which is still not good and I think why he breaks and ends up teary so often now#this shortness does not translate to actually being mean to people. she only uses being mean as a shield for herself and being snarky#Is just fun for her. it’s fun for Me. you have to inconsequentually tease people or they’ll never learn to laugh at themselves#the twins and thancred 🫵 do this thing where they have big emotions but they don’t want anyone to SEE they have big weird emotions#so alphy pretends he doesn’t have them under a veneer of dignity and alisaie pretends the emotions are Something Else. thancred is#just so emotionally constipated he has trouble expressing anything. he’s got enough baggage for a flatbed#anyways. alisaie is such a compassionate and kind girl and she learned how to make snarky jokes and went ham. and she hates appearing sad o#weak or vulnerable so she blocks it off with an unapproachable emotion so no one pities her and they maybe get on with the plot#it is in fact also great at getting ppl to move away from the sad or embarrassing topic. even if the tradeoff is being more offputting#she would never (grabs youtube meme) she would never seriously bully her brother. this is sibling ribbing only. Cain instinct#just leave her be she is learning how to snark humor and she loves it she loves being sharp. alphy has wit he just keeps it close#my brother didn’t learn how to tell or receive a joke until he was 14 he took everything so seriously. he can do it now though and he’s#HILARIOUS. Don’t tell him I said that. my man knows exactly where the funny points are even if he hasn’t learned when to stop yet#too many tags. Whatever. jokey snark alisaie who sometimes compliments is happy alisaie grouchy snappy angry alisaie is way too stressed#very easy way to tell between the two. even alphy can tell between the two I believe! He tends to rib back in protest if they’re having fun#and try to stop her if they’re not having fun. case in point ‘what is that supposed to mean?!’ vs ‘alisaie ryne was only trying to help.’#I know they’re twins but that’s such an intensely older sibling thing to do that it reels me#LONG TAGS AND THREE EDITS TO ADD ON SHORT I resent this stereotype taken too far into ooc behavior. it happened with nya#It will happen again and as a postscript let me regale you with Things U Can Notice About Character Motivation and Actions—#I’m not done let me s#she and raha are friends now I decree. ‘haha you like me’ SPUTTERING PROTEST FROM BOTH
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alluralater · 4 months
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hey everyone, i won’t be as active for a while. got home last night super late after being on the road for 20 some odd hours. dealing with some family things and as an older sister, my priority of taking care of my siblings comes first before anything else. being on here is amazing for me but i don’t think i’ll have much time for it. reminder to please treat those in your life who are battling addiction with patience and care. i lost my older brother (sweetest person i’ve ever known and he remained that way up until his last night) to suicide and alcoholism, trauma and ptsd, depression and his feelings of hopelessness. talk with the people you care about. another of my siblings is dealing with the same and i refuse to let it escalate to such a terrifying end twice in less than a fucking year. remind the people you care about that there are beautiful things to live for. show them kindness and love. there is all kinds of misinformation out there but know this, you can make a difference for someone. don’t let them suffer in silence.
#if you have me on snap then you saw the super gorgeous views and such on my way to idaho but what you did not see was me picking#up my little sister. propping her body up with pillows in a hotel room to make sure she didn’t aspirate on her own vomit in her sleep.#pouring out her water bottle of white claw and talking to her about drug use.#i never make her feel as though she has disappointed me or that she should feel ashamed. shame helps nothing. love helps everything.#i’m going to get her back into treatment soon- i just need her to know she has a home when she’s out. detoxing here first and being#positively reinforced for every single step of the process is so fucking important. it was terrifying to learn that if i had not gone to ge#her when i did that she probably would have died there in the next few weeks.#my fear of death for her is not what guides me though and there’s a huge difference between that and doing something out of love. being#there in dire moments is important yes- but being there through the mundanity of recovery is JUST as vital. it’s a process and it’s hard.#she’s moving in with me for awhile so i can help her through this sensitive time in her recovery.#she’s trying so hard and being recognized for that has literally been making her sob. knowing she has people who truly care for her is#everything. now that my stepdad is away from her like across the country i can actually finally help her. she’s starting to understand and#without me saying anything- she is starting to see what he’s done to her and our family. she needs love and support and stability. she need#reasons to live. sorry im kinda rambling a lot in these tags but i just… i can’t lose another one. the love i carry for my siblings is#unlike any other. i’ve treated them like my children since i was a child and those are my own issues but our mother is gone now too so it i#up to me.#losing my brother last september and my mom the year before that- grief has just been back to back.#in the hotel room i couldn’t sleep. she fell asleep so quickly and all i could do was watch her and think about all of the things i want to#do to make her feel like her life has value and worth enough to stay here and not go. my little sister is forever four years old in my mind#yes she’s an adult of 23 but she is a baby to me. she’s so young and she has so much ahead of her. she deserves a happy and fulfilled life.#our lives have been… very hard. 4 out of 5 of us are still standing and i plan on keeping it that way.#this is not the pain olympics or whatever but listen- if i put an adult in any of the situations we were in as children they would not#survive. we only did because there was no other choice. now there are escapes and we are old enough to try them all- every single one of us#has searched for some escape. it spirals and escalates and it doesn’t help but it is an escape. giving her love and affection and getting#her the help she needs and doing it the RIGHT way- it lessens the need for escape. there is nothing wrong with being an addict.#addiction ends one of two ways. life or death. unfortunately there is no in between. she’s going to feel everything- bad and good. i want#her to know there is so much good. that she is good. every move i make right now matters so i don’t think i’ll have time for tumblr or#much socializing.#just a heads up yk. thank you for your patience in advance <3
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i know it’ll never happen but is it so wrong for a girl (who is not a girl) to hope
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star-scrambled · 1 year
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hey this goes without saying but unironically dni if you hate paani octonauts. like actually.
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calamitydaze · 6 months
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long tag ramble below u have been warned
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#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again#but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags#(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now#but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao)#so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t#anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable#and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it#her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night#but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt#or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort#and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person#and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal#as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward#i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer#but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been#either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing#i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever#also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway#sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation#i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me#but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still)#plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down#so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again#but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to#anyway. i think that’s all i have to say!#i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open#love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶#bella talks
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kavehater · 5 months
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I wish I could inject pasilyo into my brain so I can have permanent happiness
#There’s this specific part of the song#It srsly alters my brain chemistry#Anyways#i hate tumblr sm#Idk like I Gen hate being on here sm#No matter what account I make no matter if I tell ppl about it whether I don’t tell ppl I just hate this place soooo much#Like if I have a following it sucks because it’s rlly lonely if I don’t it’s still lonely and then if there’s nobody at all it’s lonely#Loneliness is what got me to discord boy so like :D#The fact I am genuinely missing him sm I’m gonna krill myself 😻🙏#Also I think I hate talking to minors cause these kids be letting themselves get groomed all the time I’m so tired of seeing it#The creep in my course is being so weird to Raisa who is a minor … I can’t help but think it’s all my fault … I invited her to the pharm gc#To show her how messy it was ….#I didn’t expect her to follow and accept requests of everyone …#Anyways I just am so annoyed. Like I wish I could have one person just one where I can be confident in being their no.1 but every time I th#Think I’m maybe somewhere high up on someone’s list of important ppl I realise I overestimated my position even tho I’m rlly self conscious#And being myself down over that. Also I still hate Eid. I hate Eid sm. How do ppl genuinely enjoy Eid. Idk if I’ve ever been excited for Ei#It’s like I’m just suddenly getting more sick of ppl by the day. I Gen don’t like talking to ppl at all even tho I used to rely on talking#To others like its sustenance now it’s just such a hassle to me because I’m so sick of being unimportant to literally every single person I#Have ever known. Literally everyone except maybe dahlia idk. the only person who has never gotten mad/snapped at me o is dahlia#And knowing my luck that will soon be taken from me too. Anyways good riddance to tumblr i loathe this site and im sick of the mind games#All the time from just existing on here. Gen makes me feel ill. I’m so sick of that girl I like and sick of everyone. The only time ppl car#Is when I cause a scene. And ykw atp I loathe being showed sympathy and pity for these sorts of posts because it just feels like a big joke#Cause why couldn’t you just care when I was fine. Why do you ONLY care when I’ve had enough of your bad behaviour. How does one make someon#Like me go mad with all these things#Istg if I come back to this dumb site whether to this acc to the tora one or my other account everyone has permission to beat me up.#dora daily#Tldr;I HATE ppl and everyone ever + I’m just sick of pretending like everyone doesn’t suck cause how can ppl be so insufferable intolerable#Insane horrible in every way and ppl like them. How do they live with themselves when they’re this aggravating. Every day I hate ppl more#Because their mannerisms their everything is just so embarrassing.#Essay tags 😻😻😻
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