#as well as glorifying francis drake

[origami-butterfly]

It pisses me off so much that Mary Seacole isn't on the GCSE history Medicine Through Time course, and Florence Nightingale is.

[good-queen-bess]

Incorrect Tudor/Elizabethan Quotes: King Philip II vs Queen Elizabeth I

King Philip II: Marry me. Princess Elizabeth: Uh, aren’t you married to my sister? KP: Yeah but she’s gonna be dead soon. Elizabeth: Oh…?

KP: Marry me now. You should strengthen ties with a Catholic Spain. Queen Elizabeth: Um, no. Robert Dudley: Yeah bro get in line.

KP: You know, I should be in charge of that country anyway, because my great grandfather was from there. Or something… QE: You mean John of Gaunt? KP: Yeah that’s the guy. QE: How about we talk when you’ve learned more about your ancestry? KP: Well your country is in shambles, anyway! You’ll all be going to Hell! You need to convert to Catholicism! QE: Um, we’re Christan, too… KP: We’ll invade! I’ll fucking do it! QE: *deadpan stare* Uh, it’s been nearly 30 years, and not once have you done it.

*Mary, Queen of Scots is executed* QE: Shit. England: How can you get excommunicated ~TWICE?!~ QE: *flashes a smile* I’m special. KP: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! THAT’S IT!!! I SAID WE’LL FUCKING INVADE!!! AND WE’RE GONNA DO IT RIIIIIGHT NOW! … QE: … KP: … Now…! Now…! NOW! Dudley: *looks at Elizabeth* Aren’t you going to do something?! He’s actually invading! Fight back, Your Majesty! QE: Pfft, I’ve got this handled… I think… I hope… *Spanish Armada is defeated* QE: *wide-eyed* How in sweet God’s name did we win that? Cecil: Apparently the weather was shit out there and the Spanish were crashing into their own ships. QE: *smiles* Damn. Admirals; Sir Francis Drake and Sir John Hawkins: Please can​ you pay your soldiers and sailors? QE: *breaks out in a nervous sweat* Oh, yes, eh, sure… I would…if I had enough money to pay them all… People, Poets and Playwrights: WE SHALL GLORIFY YOU AND PROSPER UNDER YOUR AMAZING GUIDANCE!!! GOD SPEED OUR VIRGIN QUEEN!!! QE: *grumbles* You weren’t saying ~that~ before I won… KP: You know, you should– QE: Fuck off, Philip! Sorry for the really long post! Idk I just got bored and did this… Forgive the language and some of the inaccuracies! I tried to keep it somewhat authentic, but used a lot of exaggeration…obviously. :P