#as u can tell. i am severely indecisive.

[nonsign]

hi chat lets vote on who i write about again ^_^

[p1xiemeat]

hi do you mind if I ask you what symptoms of bipolar you have experienced before/are currently experiencing right now? if this is too heavy for you to answer then that’s alright it’s just that I was recently diagnosed with bipolar 2 and I wanted to hear about the experience from another person.. thank you 

well i have bipolar 1 rapid cycling which is more severe than just having bipolar 1. and bipolar 1 by itself is more severe than bipolar 2, so definitely don't compare yourself to me too much. also everyone is different. not every person with bipolar of any type has the same symptoms. i also have anxiety, ptsd, and im seeing a psychiatrist in november to be tested for a neurological disorder that my therapist thinks i may have but she can't diagnose me. so sometimes those symptoms from other things overlap into what i experience. some things might be caused by my anxiety or ptsd. for example i've had hallucinations plenty of times which can be a symptom of bipolar but also could be from ptsd too. i have manic episodes all the time. and when im not having mania im basically in a constant state of depression. its awful. i do have impulses but ive spent years learning how to control them. they used to be uncontrollable and it ruined my life for many years. my sleep and appetite changes constantly. sometimes i dont need sleep at all and other times all i do is sleep. and most of them time i can't eat a lot. and when i am able to eat i end up binge eating to make up for barely eating most of the time. im extremely indecisive and its hard to focus on one task. i usually have like 10 different tasks going at a time which makes it hard to complete anything. but i also become obsessed with my interests. it actually annoys ppl because i will talk about the same few things over and over. i have suicidal thought all the time. only thoughts tho. i would never act on them. but before i could control my impulses i had multiple attempts to end my life. i also have constant racing thoughts or my mind feels blank and i'll be completely silent for days sometimes because i have nothing to say. except when it comes to my children. obviously i speak to them when they are around, but i won't start a conversation when my mind feels blank or i won't CHOOSE to say anything for days. yeah it really fucking sucks. life with bipolar is mainly living in extremes. [for me anyway]. im either exteremely happy or extremely sad. same goes with being confident or not confident, hungry or not hungry, etc. one of the hardest things is having so much energy when im manic and feeling constantly tired and drained when im depressive. because i have children and i HAVE to be productive on daily basis. i can't just NOT clean or do dishes or laundry etc. so when im depressive i have to mentally and physically force myself to do anything. its honestly absolute hell. and im so sorry you have it too. i wish i had more positive things to tell you about it, but im not going to sugarcoat it or lie to you.

as long as you put in effort to work on yourself and try to be aware of the way you react to things or what things affect your mood, it will get easier. i know that i NEED therapy. every time i left therapy i relapsed on drugs or i mentally deteriorated. so i highly recommend finding a good therapist if you start to struggle badly. or just have one just to help you even if you don't think you need one. they help sooo much with helping u understand yourself and your thoughts and actions. i wish you nothing but the best✨💜 bipolar disorder can be so crippling. it can even be a disability for some ppl. for me it is. i am getting disability soon because its pretty impossible to find a job that works with what im able and unable to do. it lowered my confidence a lot when i realized i needed the extra help but now im more okay with it because i know its just the hand i've been dealt. i didnt ask for bipolar disorder. just like i didn't ask for it to prevent me from working. its just what happened to me. and thats okay. 🖤💜 i hope you are well🥰

[tulakhord]

got tagged in SOOO many tag games by @raylangivins asdfghjkl thank u ilu here are like, half of them lmao.

(1) shuffle your on repeat playlist and post the first 10 tracks stupid girl - garbage salt and vinegar - lights DIP N DRIP - cobrah disturbia - rihanna this hell - rina sawayama deep end - catty night crawling - miley cyrus feat. billy idol messy - kiiara jet black hearts - abigail barlow dancing on my own - robyn (2) a questionnaire!

Tea, coffee, or soda? coffee > everybody..... i do love tea tho. Dogs or cats? dogs bc one's sitting on my feet rn and he's pretty cute so. Can you play any instrument? forgot all the piano i once knew oops What's your sun sign? sagittarius for me as well! ♐️♐️ First song lyrics that pops into your head? how will i know if she really loves meee 🎵 Do you have any tattoos? not yet! indecision etc etc Favorite place you've travelled? british virgin islands What's the last movie you've watched? i literally do not remember but i'm seeing the d&d movie this weekend lmao What languages do you speak? only english, i'm pants at languages :( much like the instruments question i forgot the other ones orz Do you have any hobbies? omg so many, i love doing things lmao. rn i am actually doing campaign prep for ttrpg things while i watch hockey and fill this out, which is a whole category of hobbies by itself (writing! mini painting! drawing! map design! terrain builds! etc etc.) You can hang out with one fictional character for an hour, who do you choose? i was gonna be saucy and pick someone hot or someone whose brain i want to dissect like a formaldehyde frog but actually it is toothless i wanna go flying with the flying doggo Compliment yourself: i cooked a delicious dinner tonight! (3) ao3 first lines tagline

Rules: Share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway (spoiler alert: rules are made to be broken…)

"most recent" i have published uhh nothing since 2021 hockey hols oops. i should maybe. fix that. anyway the point is that some of these are from my drafts folder ayy:

The chatter starts up at the end of every season, and every off-season Mat runs the fuck away to get away from it.

There’s three shadows standing over Eddie when he comes to, curled in on himself on the ground and damp with his own sweat.

The last dragons—barely hatchlings—die at Dragonstone. Perhaps it's only fitting that the last dragonspawn do too.

“I used to think about it,” admits Trevor. “You making me sorry for it.” (x)

Leon makes all his biggest mistakes in Las Vegas, and tonight is no exception. The team is flying high off a win they didn’t expect—off a win, strictly speaking, they did not deserve—and the music is good, and the lights are low, and the drinks keep coming. (x)

Raff is in the Dallas hotel room, and Joel didn’t invite him—didn’t expect him—but holy cannoli is Joel glad to see him there. (x)

The first thing to understand was Raff didn’t have a heart. (x)

As far as Jack was concerned, Taylor Hall could take his Nantucket wedding, his signed contract in Boston, his Biosteel invite and his mostly working body and all the other hallmarks of his happily ever after—and shove it up his own ass. (x)

He had made a conscious choice not to tell anyone about the situation, and indeed, not to think about the situation any more than could be helped. This had worked well for the past several years, except that it meant that Auston had not thought twice about extending the invitation for Dylan to join them for two weeks in Scottsdale. (x)

They’d tracked the old legends from planet to planet, each one emptier than the last: graveyards with no graves, detonation marks from imperial explosives scouring ancient stone, each once-sacred place swept clean of its history. (x)

tagging 10 of you i've seen in my notes lately, do one or two or all of em: @maddiebuckley @bluewaterhigh2005 @tobysziegler @st-louis @xreveux @parisebuyout2021 @chevalric @joeslie @marmolita @townhulls @bigbrotherlouis

[finniestoncrane]

congrats on 1k Finnie!!! u deserve all the hype!! I’m gonna throw myself in the ring for the event, respectfully requesting number 9

a little bit about me is that I’m 4’10 (pun intended), I have brown eyes, reaaallly long curly brown hair, I wear glasses (the dano riddler kind LMAO), my fashion sense basically Bella Swan from Twilight, I’m questioning my sexuality/bordering on unlabeled so I’m fine with anyone, I’m an INTP 5w6, and a Leo (I don’t know shit about astrology lol.)

my hobbies include:

- acting, which is ironic bc I can’t stand theater kids lmao

- writing, whether it be my cringe ass fanfics, or to my feelings (or lack there of), or to the dreams I have at night, I gotta always have it documented

- watching movies, specifically horror or comedy. If I have any free time, u can GUARANTEE u that I’m going to being at home watching a movie, or at the theater with my friends. If I could legally marry my favorite movie, I would.

personality wise, I come off as very blunt and have a really dry sense of humor to everyone I meet. When I’m in my element, I can’t help but let my wit get the better of me. I am legitimately confident in my capabilities and myself. I can almost always talk my way in or out of situations. I love cracking jokes at any given moment and I always enjoy making anyone laugh, I’ve been told that I have good comedic timing so obviously, I gotta keep going with it. I also curse a lot, like I need a censor bar around my mouth at all times lol. I’m not afraid to stand up for myself or my friends and honestly, I kinda enjoy to. I absolutely value humor and friendship the most, and they are what keep me going. If I could describe myself as 5 fictional characters, I’d be Mickey Milkovich (Shameless), MJ (MCU), Ruth Langmore (Ozark), Louise Belcher (Bob’s Burgers), and Beth Harmon (The Queen’s Gambit). My positive traits are humorous, competitive, straight-forward, creative, and quick-witted

on the flip side, when I’m in a newish setting or a setting where I’m off my game/ not feeling myself, I’m ice cold, rarely speaking to anyone and if I do, it’s venomous. I tend to isolate myself and obsessively throw myself into whatever it is I need to do and just be done with it. I try to maintain a high level of professionalism and confidence and hold myself to a high standard, becoming wildly competitive and forcing myself to be better than everyone, basically faking it till I make it (and it always works). I tend to hide and bottle up my emotions, and I’m scared of/ hate being emotionally vulnerable. My negative traits are obsessive, indecisive, aggressive, sadistic, and emotionally detached

…and I just realized I went on for waaay too long lmao sorry. congrats again on 1k!!!

🎀 No.9: Ever Fallen In Love With Someone 🎀

tell me a little bit about yourself and i'll give you a rogue pairing a/n: thank you!! it's funny, with this one i thought of several rogues and then suddenly it came to me in a moment of sheer inspiration and i was like "oh shit yeah that's the one" 1k milestone info! 🔞minors dni🔞 • kofi • tag: finnie1k

i swear to you the height thing is a coincidence but i think a short couple are strong vibes. and he's a mama's boy, so the fact that your hair is long and curly like hers would probably be one of the first things that drew him in

we know he feels about glasses wearers, so... yeah

(side note: i feel you on the theatre kids one, i studied theatre at university and it made me realise i couldn't be a playwrite, because i cannot cope with actors)

ok so oswald has an absolute flair for the dramatics, and don't tell me he wouldn't make an excellent actor. you two could reenact scenes together and write your own plays or movies just for you two!

he strikes me as a diarist, so spending time together writing whatever you're writing while he catches up on his comings and goings in his little unpublished and just for him (for now) autobiography would be one of his favourite wind-down activities at the end of the day

oswald lives his entire life with main character energy and you can't convince me he didn't pick that up from obsessively watching movies about underdogs rising to the top and film noirs. he loves gore and brutality too, so a thriller or a horror would be perfect viewing material for you, and he'd definitely take you to the theatre on a date

ok so, it might be a nightmare putting the two of you together, but it could also potentially be the most fun. both of you are dry, humorous, experts in wit and sarcasm. charming enough to talk your way out of disaster, and into opportunity. together, you'd be a dynamic duo, perfect partners in crime. the confidence you would have separately and together would be insurmountable and intimidating, which oswald would find deeply romantic

little comments and sneaky jokes with the right timing are his forte too, i'm beginning to wonder if you aren't just the same person?

and the aggressive protection of yourself and others? come on, that's just him all over. and he might not swear frequently (although he might have if gotham was more risque) he does yell. a lot. and what extreme screaming match isn't complete without a few good fuck shit cock ass bastards in the mix?

speaking of friends, the loyalty and fierce protection of them would make it easy for him to trust you, which is so important to him. you're obviously a valuable asset in a friendship, and he would treat you as such

it's funny, i always think of oswald (specificalyl in gotham) as louise belcher! very much quick-witted and humorous, which you both are, and he's obviously extremely competitive, with high self-esteem and a belief he can conquer anything. he's not always straight-froward though, but that's something you can bring to the relationship that he can benefit from

he would understand the isolation and the cold attitude also though. it's a good facade to maintain when you're around new people, especially if you find it difficult to trust or open yourself up to them. a safety mechanism almost. it ties in with the holding yourself to a high-standard. he's dead set on being the king of gotham, a position he would gladly share with you if you could assist him in that professional and personable journey, which by the way, faking it till you make it? he's very familiar with it, umbrella boy to mayor after all

i doubt he'd feel the need to hide his emotions around someone like you who was so similar to him and so trustworthy, but he does that around others and wouldn't blame you for a second for trying not to be vulnerable around him, though he'd hope you'd warm up eventually

and please, your negative traits are all ones he holds in high-esteem within himself so get ready to have your ego boosted by him constantly praising you

[coral-melon]

Ohh could i get an obey me matchup if u have time? :D

Appearance: i’m afab, tall but skinny like a noodle, still have curves tho. i have light brown hair and dull blue eyes i’m pale af and have a slightly larger than average number of moles. i have had purple under-eyes since i was 12 they are never going away

Personality: professionally i’m doing well but every other area of my life is in shambles lmfao. still live with my parents can’t drive depressed as hell and barely any relationship experience💀i hate responsibility but i’m still responsible because i hate letting people down. i make a conscious effort to always meet deadlines and show up to meetings on time and it bothers me when other people don’t. but still i’m pretty lenient with others and give them the benefit of the doubt. i am fairly whimsical and quite unbothered by everything. not afraid to push boundaries and attempt things no one has done before, when ppl tell me my goals sound unrealistic it just motivates me more

Strengths/weaknesses: good at drawing and school, graduated college with a 4.0 gpa and a bunch of honors and stuff, and i am the creator of several viral posts and quizzes. good at taking advantage of opportunities that come my way. and i can see humor in everything i love to laugh. i’m kinda irony poisoned and struggle with sincerity, but i’m also an open book i don’t rly have anything to hide. i always talk pretty casually with people no matter who they are but i get away with it cuz i’m smart and good at my job or something. i may come across as impulsive but i do think through everything i do and say, i’m just a fast thinker. i’ve been told i’m too trusting but i haven’t been hurt yet sooo idc ^_^

Likes/dislikes: i am fan of any kind of creative hobby. i like being in nature and interacting with animals but i’m also a pwetty pwincess who hates getting dirty. i hate doing chores and paying for stuff too 💅🏻 i avoid drama and conflict like the plague, though i enjoy it as a spectator. and i hate office jobs, specifically because i work very efficiently then have to pretend to be productive for my dumbass boss when i finish everything early. i love to hang out with people even if it’s something boring like running errands. for some reason people think i don’t like hugs or texting but i do :( i constantly crave novelty i love new experiences

Other: when i really like someone i’ll take an interest in their interests and memorize every little thing i learn about them to the point where i gotta play dumb sometimes so i don’t sound overly invested. we would probably have to have a strong friendship as a foundation cuz u gotta be patient with my repressed ass. i don’t have a lot of preferences for dates so i’d be happy doing whatever they want, i’m v indecisive so it would be good for both of us if they like taking the lead

- 🦝

Hello -🦝! Thank you for taking the time to introduce yourself, it a pleasure to meet you! ^^

This felt really fun for me bc I already had a few silly hc in mind for you, so I hope you enjoy!

I match you with…~

꩜ Never a dull moment when your around him.

꩜ The two of you are a funny duo, to say the least. If it were possible, it would be like you taking care of a leash kid.

꩜ Not to worry, with this jackass over by your side, he will make you forget about your depression with his bullshit and shenanigans! That’s right, The Great Mammon himself! >;D👍✨ ((plz don’t take this too seriously..))

꩜ When it comes to you, he might as well not have any experience either. When others look at you, sometimes they think you’re the one who knows the ropes even if that’s not the case at all.

꩜ He’s supposed to keep an eye on you, but the fact of the matter is that it got twisted real quick and you ended up responsible for him instead. You keep him in check when it comes to his studies and duties he must finish. Oh what’s that? Sike! Even if you didn’t want to, he’ll beg you to help him out before Lucifer catches a whiff that he failed a test for the 1738929th time.

꩜ You’re motivated to want to improve yourself, so why would t you want the same for those you care about? No matter how hopeless someone is, surely there’s always a way!

꩜ Doesn’t matter how much he tries to hide something he did wrong though, Lucifer knows way before he himself does. So you’ll often see him upside down hanging from a ceiling. He temps you first before resorting to begging you to help him out again.

“Are ya takin’ me seriously, human?!”

— “Pfft- Yea yea of course!👌” nah, not really

꩜ As time passes by though, he starts catching your drift slowly without being told what to do. Simply wanting to get your attention and praise is enough to have him determined to want to do better. So in a way, both of you help each other out to get yourselves organized; May it be your actions or mental state. Thriving forward because of it.

꩜ He appreciates you never me giving up on him, thinking about it makes him soft and weak.. He’ll never admit it though! Not the Great Mammon himself! Not in a million years! Pretty obvious tho..

꩜ He, too, is an open book; not on purpose though. He tries to hide it but ultimately just reveals even more.

꩜ But It’s funny watching you two play dumb with each other when it comes to the other’s interests. He is just as invested in what you like — or perhaps even more — like you are with his.

“Oh, you like -insert hobby-? Ha, lame!” *Proceeds to look up everything there is to know about it*

꩜ Lovely to know you like to hang out, cuz best believe this guy is stuck to you like glue. He might try to come up with an excuse as to why he just barged into your room or sent you some random message, but it’s all bs. He just wants to be with you even if there’s no reason. He just really enjoys your company.

꩜ On days he gets paid, He’ll say he’s feeling generous and willing to spoil indulge you a bit. You better be grateful to the Great Mammon! Whenever you go shopping, he’ll keep an eye out for anything you might glance at, even if it was just for a brief moment.

꩜ And even if it’s rare coming from you, he’ll immediately sense if there’s greed coming from you. So he’ll buy you whatever it is that you want so badly! *cough* you just glanced at it.. *cough*

End

I hope I was able to make you smile

Take care -🦝!✨

[oathwilled]

i'm writing up his companion verse and...oh my goD why am i excessive for something that will probably never matter this much

that said, i'm coming to realize that he's also one of those that is real hard to gain approval with until you tick over to medium and then he opens up a lot, but he's a closed-off bastard until he trusts you.

a standard good playthrough will be fairly easy but he disapproves of indecisiveness — taking middle of the road choices like telling somone idk i'll think about it — and being a jerk, and yet also sometimes mercy ( like sparing the Hag, sparing Viconia DeVir, etc ). people like to consider paladins as being shining beacons of good and light, but the oath of vengeance is a different and bloody animal. no mercy for the wicked. by any means necessary. for the greater good.

he's bitter and angry at the gods. he doesn't understand people like gale with a lot of of devotion to their gods, fully, or at the least sees it as naive. he has zero surprise when faced with the realities of it on several occasions ( vlaakith, mystra, shar ) and has to bite his tongue to keep from saying i told u so.

he can be brutal, he can be cold. lawful doesn't mean lawful nice. he's awfully grey in a lot of matters, but innocent people, children, and animals are under absolute protection and he'll fight someone bloody to protect them.

he can also be genuine and warm with those he trusts, and as he opens up more, he definitely slowly gets more personable, easy-going. he relaxes. i feel like this would really start happening more after you first get to moonrise; freeing the tieflings is a big easy bump in approval.

[colgatebluemintygel]

I have seen many videos from MCR gig on tiktok and it makes me happy to know that you were there!!!! I hope you had the best night!!!!

Also: drop some book recs, I read everything

oh my god anon it was AMAZINGGG <3333 it all felt soo deeply surreal and i'm still not totally convinced that it actually happened. such a full circle moment too; from my bandom years to now <3 it's funny how little has changed, actually. and just !!!!!!!!! AGH. i've seen so many other bands over the years i can say with the fullest confidence that nothing has even come close to mcr (fob was maybeee the closest, but that was also just extra special because i was 17 and in paris with my best friend <3). also side note !! i genuinely was not aware that nz held so many emos. we all b hiding. twas truly heartwarming stuff <3

AH omg okay. well! because i am to my core both a goth and an annoying ex english major: frankenstein and dracula. they both make me crazy. i will say: i prefer the start of dracula to the end (and i have also written several scathing essays about the way stoker handles female sexuality and otherness) but! i still love it <3 i read it for the first time when i was 21, and it fully fully took me back to that spooky childhood conception of vampires, and i fucking loved it. with frankenstein, i was honestly a little bit underwhelmed the first time i read it, but i revisited it a few years ago and saw the light !! in fact, i'm planning a frankenstein inspired fic so........ if that tells you anything :-))) (also shout out 2 carmilla!!!!! they are in love :-) )

fantasy is possibly my favourite genre! possibly...(chronically indecisive</3)! and two books that i always always come back to are the name of the wind by patrick rothfuss and the priory of the orange tree by samantha shannon! both are popular for good reason! i really enjoy the prose in both of them. and, like howl, i have pulled out the name of the wind on nights out and recited the first chapter to anyone who would listen (nobody<3 but i was entertained). also the lies of locke lamora <3 fantasy venice! heists!

THE LEFT HAND OF DARKNESS makes me go actually crazy and i'm going to stop myself here because i will type out an essay and i honestly don't have time for that rn <3 but take my word for it! in general i love le guin. the earthsea books are also WONDERFUL and they have strong jungian leanings and it is!! excellent.

something ever so slightly left of field: faces in the water by janet frame. i read it when i was 16 and it changed my whole perception of what writing could be (so did invisible monsters by chuck palahniuk. (tho my motivations in reading palahniuk were, admittedly, emo motivated. if u know, u know)). i have slightly mixed feelings about some of frame's other books, but she is unquestionably! a genius! such an incredible writer, and whenever i read one of her books i am always in awe. it's a similar feeling to reading woolf in that regard. which..... yes! speaking of woolf! mrs dalloway is my current favourite <3 i'm not much of an annotator, other than underlining sentences i like and dog-earing the bottoms of pages if i REALLY like them, but my copy of mrs dalloway is full of those AND smudgy little pencil scribbles. all v incoherent. but v telling of how heavily i was vibing with it

also left of field and not Technically a book (but what i Would consider digital literature): kentucky route zero! i recently played/read it, and it blew my mind beyond comprehension. and yessss while it is technically a video game, it's a literary game in every sense of the term <3 so i will include it here

okayyyy that's all for now xxxx i racked my brain to think of a romance novel that i love, because i LOVE romance, but honestly nothing is coming 2 mind... may return with a rec.

[synchlora]

god i hate my brain taking ironic posts seriously

[glaivenoct]

🔥 💋 🎉 ☔

Whenever I add these sort of posts to my queue, well first of all I forget I added them there oops. Second, I never actually expect to get any bites :o So thank you for the pleasant surprise! :D I need an excuse to ramble and indulge about NyxNoct, it's been a day lol

(apologies in advance because I definitely rambled way more than I thought I would ^^;)

🔥 - Who realized they were interested in who first?

Noct, and it absolutely drives him mad because who hasn't has a crush on Nyx at this point?? He's pretty sure everyone has and literally everyone who's Not Noct probably has a better chance with Nyx than he does.

Of course, that perspective starts to change when Noct flirts with Nyx during training for the first time and Nyx flirts back~

💋 - Who is more rough with the kissing stuff?

Ok so I answered a similar question once before on twitter here. But with this particular wording - I feel like it depends?

Because, yes, I'm such a sucker for Nyx leaving room for Noct to set the tone when they start kissing for more than a few seconds. Suuuch a sucker for Noct being that one to intensify a kiss to hint hint nudge wink Nyx for more.

But then also I think about how Nyx loves leaving trails of lovebites on Noct where no one can see. Or I think about one of those favorite scenarios of mine where Noct, in boxers and one of Nyx's t-shirts (which is way too big on him), gets hoisted into Nyx's arms and pressed against the wall~ Because hooo boy, lemme tell you, the way Nyx kisses Noct then is anything but gentle. He takes Noct's breath away and is proud of it.

As much as I hate to be indecisive and say "idk it depends" - methinks it depends ;u;

🎉 - How did they propose?

Heh. Sooo.. I have a few, if not several, versions in my head of how these two propose to each other. Some off the top of my head are;

While slow dancing on a rooftop at 3 AM

At the same fucking time out at sea on the Royal Vessel

they don't, they elope like the fools they are

On a holiday trip back home to Galahd. It's during a small bonfire party on the beach. At sunset, Nyx takes Noct for a walk further down shore, right by the tide, and pops the question.

If not like in twilight and sunrise, then on their anniversary. It would be a little extra special here because it's the first anniversary they'd celebrate after 10 years apart and the return of the dawn (canon can kiss my ass). Noct's the one that proposes, and he does it in the citadel's old gardens where they shared their first kiss. And of course, Nyx, taken aback but still very much enthused. doesn't hesitate to say yes

I have a particular favorite scenario in my head, and it's a little more on the self-indulgent side, so bear with me on this;

It's winter in Lucis. The holiday season is here, and with that comes Regis' private holiday party, hosted at the Amicitia house. Private means close friends and family only, so all the usual suspects are there. Food, drinks, pictures and games. A time where they all really just get to relax and indulge themselves. Nyx is invited because Regis already knows about their relationship. He's known for a good while and also knows that Nyx is going to propose tonight, so he keeps an eye out for whenever the two mysteriously slip away to the back patio for some "fresh air".

Under the moon and stars, wrapped up in their cozy scarves, winter coats and beanies, Nyx makes Noct feel like a work of art with his loving gazes, whispers of sweet nothing, and reminisce on the start of their relationship/how far they've come.

And when Nyx gets down on that one knee and pops the question? It starts to snow. And Noct feels like he's trapped inside a snowglobe that's rotating in slow motion.

When he says yes, Nyx lifts him off the floor for a kiss and they do a little spin together. Then, when they return to the party to make the announcement, Regis has already supplied everyone with a glass of champagne to toast and celebrate <3

☔️ - How do they make up after a fight?

GHHH this is one of my favorite things ;A; I know I've talked about this sorta thing with Jazz before but I don't know if I've ever thrown these thoughts anywhere else so -

It's a gentle, sweet, sometimes silly thing depending on who breaks the ice first. I like to believe that these two can't stay mad at each other for too long - especially if it's a small kind of argument. But whether it's small or big - they both have their own ways of breaking the ice with each other.

Noct usually starts pushing himself back into Nyx's space - because words aren't easy for him and sometimes he doesn't know where to start with them. What is easy for him is touch, and usually after an argument, they stay apart, maybe avoid each other for a couple days, ect. So say Noct's on one side of the room and Nyx is on the other - Noct will move closer. and closer. and closer. Till they're at least touching arms or something, and if Nyx doesn't pull away or give any sort of indicator that he doesn't want to be touched, Noct will drape himself over Nyx entirely and wait for him to pay attention to him.

Nyx sort of follows the same vein because he knows that Noct is a very Touch Over Words First kind of person. So if they've got their backs to each other in bed, Nyx will brush elbows, shoulder to shoulder. Once he tests the waters and gets the vibe that Noct doesn't mind, he'll be a little bold and kiss his shoulder. Just a quick little kiss. And then his cheek. If Noct doesn't tell him to stop, Nyx will hug him, maybe poke his ticklish spots.

And then it always devolves into small talk. Small talk before one's brave enough to bring up the argument again and talk it out. When they talk it out, exchange the necessary apologies, and come to their resolution - it's make up cuddles and kisses galore!! I mean GALORE!! Till they get comfortable and ease back into each other's touch again, like it's the safest thing they've ever felt and 1000x's more important than any argument they could ever have.

Then if they're up to it, they'll get some fresh air. An easy little walk where they hold hands and have an easy, mundane conversation. They'll make a stop for ice cream, milkshakes or frozen yogurt - some sort of sweet little treat to help move past all the sourness of the argument. Who could say no to that? Certainly not Noct~

[inkykeiji]

hello, bby💞💞 i absolutely ADORE everything u write, ur insanely talented!! I wanted to ask, you’ve mentioned several pieces of art, precisely songs and films, that have inspired ur work; could u give us some music and movie recommendations that have similar vibe to some of ur fics??? Thank u in advance, I hope u have an incredible day/evening, lysm💓💞💖

THIS QUESTION OOOOOOOH YES ANON YES okay okay first of all, thank you so much!!!! i appreciate that a lot <333 YES i love film so much hehehe <3 my music recommendations are pretty much the same as they always are. the films i’m recommending here; i’m not exactly sure if they have a similar vibe to my fics as i’ve found it difficult to find many films that fit that criteria, but here’s a nice huge list of films that have influenced my main series’, and how!!

beware!! very long post under the cut hehehe AND POTENTIAL SPOILERS FOR BMB IF YOU KNOW THE FILMS HEHEHEHEHE

𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬

the godfather, part 1 + part 2

AAAAAAAAH okay, literally one of my favourite films of all time, the godfather (+ the godfather pt 2) is a fucking masterpiece. tomura’s close relationship with his father was both inspired by bnha itself as well as michael corleone’s relationship with his father, vito. michael is the golden child even though he’s the youngest, and i love love love how cold and ruthless he can be!!! he’s also super smart.

goodfellas

listen. if henry hill from goodfellas and michael corleone from the godfather had a baby, it would be tomura. he’s slightly more henry than he is michael, but his characterization pulls from both of these characters!! henry is fun, he’s reckless, he’s young, he feels like a god and he loves cocaine. henry also becomes very paranoid, a path with tomura is currently speeding down (albeit much more intensely, with legitimate mental health issues, but you get it). i also love the subtle ‘mafia princess’ trope goodfellas has going on with henry’s wife, karen (that scene where she says she’s going shopping and asks him for money, and he takes out that massive wad of cash?????? brilliant, one of my faves hehehe). henry also has some difficulty dealing with his emotions!!

narcos season 1 + 2

k, i can’t say too much about how this incredible show inspired bmb; i kind of feel like listing it is already giving away too much hehehe BUT i love the pure POWER pablo exudes, and i love his relationship with his wife and how family oriented he is.

scarface (both the original 1932 version and the 1983 version)

WOOOOOOOOOO OKAY. for the 1983 film: cocaine my friends. cocaine and violence and toxic relationships!!!!!!!  i kind of love elvira hancock more than anything else; she’s so glamorous and fun and just aaaaah she’s definitely not as ‘baby’ or ‘good girl’ as bmb!reader is, but her sheer class and cute dresses and just how SPOILED she is reminds me a lot of bmb! for both 1932 + 1983: tony’s relationship with his sister, gina (which tbh borders on incest). gina’s another one of those ‘mafia princess’ types, and tony is extremely overprotective of her and spoils her like mad, too. she’s also fits that ‘good girl’ archetype a lot more!!

reservoir dogs

purely the violence. the violence the violence the violence, the crude and crass way the men talk to each other, and the fact that they’re like a lil organized crime group put together by a boss. i am IN LOVE (IN LOVEEEEEEEE) with mr blonde (aka vic vega <333). mr blonde’s extreme sadism reminds me quite a bit of both dabi and tomura, and he’s even referenced in the lil torture piece i wrote!! also, you literally cannot tell me that vic wouldn’t spoil the absolute HELL out of his good lil princess if he had one <3

(not a film, but!!!!!) hamlet

break my bones is very very very loosely based on hamlet (which is my favourite story of all time. literally. i love hamlet so much i can’t even put it into words); with tomura as hamlet, dabi as a mixture of horatio and laertes, and reader as ophelia. hamlet, my precious baby, is a spoiled fucking brat, who loved his father and was loved by his father. he’s also very intelligent, but falls prey to his indecisiveness and his inability to make decisions, in addition to the rapid decay of his mental health. that’s all i’ll say hehehe

baby driver

the relationship between baby + debora reminds me of the relationship between dabi and reader a lot <333 i also just love the aesthetic of this film, and the undercurrents of organized crime!!

the shining

just a teeny tiny bit; i cannot say anything about this or i think it’ll give something away!!!!!

burning

trios!!!!! trios!!!!!!!!!!!!and the relationship dynamic between jong-su, hae-mi and ben??????? absolutely incredible and reminds me quite a bit of the dynamic between tomura, dabi + reader!!

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐀𝐔 (𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐞) + 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐲𝐚-𝐧𝐢𝐢

i’m grouping these two together, because a lot of their influences overlap in terms of dabi + reader’s relationship!!! (i’m pretty sure we can all agree that touya-nii is so fucking Daddy, too <3)

true romance

i fucking love this movie, so so so much. i’d go as far to say that clarence and alabama’s relationship has without a doubt inspired or influenced every single romantic relationship i’ve written in at least some way, shape, or form. i LOVE them. i love their co-dependency on each other, i love their whole ‘it’s you and me against the world’ vibe, and i love how far they’re willing to go for each other. also, again, organized crime (no surprise), and alabama is just the cutest fucking thing i swear to god. that scene of her + virgil in the hotel room will forever be one of my absolute FAVOURITE scenes in cinematic history. i would die for this woman i love her more than anything. she’s so cute yet so strong, so brave, so IN LOVE, and aaaah that is just one of my favourite characteristics ever ever ever. i love women who are soft and strong at the same time, even if that strength isn’t physical.

sid and nancy

hello to one of the most famous toxic relationships ever!!! honestly, i don’t think i have to explain this one much LMAO. obviously my readers aren’t as hardcore as nancy and almost always fall into the ‘innocent good girl’ category, but their RELATIONSHIP itself reminds me quite a bit of the relationship between touya-nii and his princess <3

bonnie and clyde (1967)

ahahaha yet again, another very toxic, very co-dependent type of love. like clarence and alabama, i love how these two are literally willing to die for each other—they’d go straight to the ends of the earth for one another, no questions asked. this type of love is extremely unhealthy, obviously, but it’s something i am extremely fascinated with and love exploring in my work! also, that whole ‘fuck the world let’s commit crimes together’????? very tag you’re it dabi x reader!!!

pulp fiction

more specifically, the relationship between mia and vincent. the sexual tension there is fucking crazy, and i love how mia is yet again one of those ‘mafia princess’ types. really, this film applies to bmb as well, but i’m putting it here because the way vincent gets so so SO soft for mia reminds me of the way touya-nii and dabi in these two series in particular get soft for their readers. also, to a lesser extent, the relationship between butch and fabienne. i know a lot of people don’t like fabienne and get annoyed with her, but i think she’s just the cutest thing and i heavily relate to her and her babie/crybaby nature <3 and of course, the relationship between pumpkin and honeybunny (for tag you’re it especially!) <33

breathless (a bout de souffle)

there’s just something about michel that reminds me of touya-nii SO much. i think it’s a combination of his attitude as well as his petty life of crime, and the way patricia hides him in her apartment...i don’t know, it’s difficult for me to put into words, but i love him a lot <3

𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤

the joker + harley quinn: i feel like this is so obvious LMAO but i’m obsessed with the idea of that all consuming voracious love that borders on serious obsession. extremely possessive socio/psychopath and his dumb lil baby????? yes <3 (**i also wanna make a note to say that harley isn’t dumb AT ALL, but J will often insult her in such a way, and sometimes the men who write her portray her as such as well >.> but harley is one of my favourite female characters ever. i LOVE how girly and fun she is while still being extremely strong and (sometimes, depending on the version) independent. she isn’t without flaws, and i love how her mr j is basically her kryptonite <3)

speaking of batman, bruce wayne: what can i say, i just love spoiled rich men who have serious issues dealing with their emotions and walk the line of good and evil <33333

anakin skywalker/darth vader: listen, anakin was seriously slighted by those prequel films. but underneath all of that bad writing, at his core, anakin is a fantastic character. he is SO strongly governed by his emotions and is extremely selfish, and his love for his wife and family is ultimately what leads him down the path to the dark side <3 his emotionally charged motivations remind me a lot of CANON dabi!!!

thelma and louise: i just love their relationship, like, a lot hehehe. their relationship and the ending of this film reminds me a lot of my snowman & me; just yet again that whole ‘it’s you and me or it’s death’ type thing.

the darjeeling limited: it should be obvious at this point that i love trios, and i love complex characters and the relationships that come along with them. the relationship between the whitman brothers, the dysfunctional family, the truama and sadness...i love it all. this film is absolutely beautiful and really doesn’t connect much to my work other than the character dynamics, but i love it so dearly.

mad men: again, those misogynistic toxic relationships and the dependency betty has on don for the first few seasons!! also my god, the aesthetic, i am obsessed.

twin peaks: this hasn’t shown up too much in the work i’ve posted on my blog just yet, but i’m head over heels in love with the dreamy unsettling feeling that saturates this entire series, as well as the drugs and crime. also dale is my baby, protect him with everything <3

blade runner (both films): for city aesthetic

suckerpunch: an absolutely awful film but also one of my guilty pleasures, purely because i love babydoll so so so so so much <33 again, more for aesthetic than story.

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂

honestly, my music recommendations are exactly the same as they are in this post right here. lana del rey, lil peep, chase atlantic + the neighbourhood are the four that i’d say influence my work the most tho, and have the most similar vibe to my stuff!! also, nicole dollanganger is an incredible artist and lyricist, and i’ve been told more than once that my work and her work are quite similar (which i agree!!!). her stuff is hauntingly beautiful, but i have a lot of difficulty listening to it because it hits a little too close to home and makes me cry literally every single time. so please be wary of that, i’m giving a general trigger warning for her because she can get quite dark. but her work is absolutely fantastic, i highly recommend as long as you feel that you can handle it!!! <33

AAAAAH I KNOW I’M MISSING LIKE A MILLION THINGS I SWEAR but these are the films (and tv shows) + artists that readily come to mind!! thank you again for your question anon, i love stuff like this so much and i love discussing films and art hehehe <33

[paynomindtomyidiocy]

Hi guys life update:

I have a bunch of positivity appreciation challenge spreading or whatever asks in my inbox and I want to answer them and send them to other ppl I really do but also I’m kinda tired so I’ll do it at some point

I’m lowkey thinking about saying I’m heteroflexible?? I was browsing Reddit the other day in a quest to find additional information about Duccio and somehow I discovered the term? Idk I just feel like it summarises where I’m at with my sexuality crisis (I say crisis bc I like the word and I have a lot of crises but they’re always at like the back of my mind so it’s not stressing me out too much).

Then again, I might not lol. Almost every single one of my friends is queer and it’s gotten to the point where the word hetero makes me cringe a little lmao idk if I want to refer to myself as hetero anything, but also it feels more straight than saying bi with strong preference which I appreciate kind of with my whole issue about not feeling like I can say I’m gay? Idk I may or may not come to a decision, maybe my indecisiveness will last long enough for the oestrogen to kick in or for me to emotionally mature and I’ll have a crush on someone and then the crisis will be resolved a little. Who knows? Am I procrastinating figuring out my sexual identity? Yeah I guess you could say that it’s pretty in character for me ngl

Also I’m trying to be more productive and I have exams coming up and we actually have study leave this year so it’s a bit more serious n I may be a littttle lax in replying to stuff etc

So I’m being a little dramatic with this because I don’t actually care that much but if I hear one more person tell me I’m lucky I don’t have periods I think I might like, scream or something. Internally probably but who knows maybe this art history revision will push me off a cliff I didn’t know existed. That’s a metaphor I am once again making it known that I’m not actually depressed.

But yeah just someone I was pretty sure knew found out today and was like omg ur so lucky u don’t have to bleed out of ur vagina, etc etc and I was like

yeah bitch but I also have a lack-of-sex-hormones induced sexuality crisis, a snowflake complex (which is actually rly bad because not only am I autistic and adhd but I also have this like super rare disease oh boo hoo it just enables all the self pity ugh do you ever just find yourself insufferable like I literally have nothing to feel sorry for myself about I kinda want to smack some perspective into my subconscious), am at risk for osteoporosis, pretty severe heart disease should I not get enough oestrogen (which is worse considering I’m also Indian, and like a bunch of my relatives have died from heart attacks), have to take vit d bc Indians are low in it and it poses complications with the POI and shit, not to mention I can’t have children plus a bunch of other shit

Also I’m seeing that that whole last bullet point is just one big block of self pitying bullshit about what are ultimately my first world problems n I’m rly wishing I could just shake some perspective into my subconscious right about now UGH

I kinda want to rewrite it without the self pity but I cba bc I’m so tired just bear in mind I’ve gotten like no sleep as of late :)

This all sounds much angstier than intended but I am actually doing ok and I’m not super sad or depressed or angry at all I swear

I’m actually pretty well balanced

Well, relatively. Idk

Now I’m kind of wondering what the point of this post was

Oh well

Enjoy the life update ig

– Anya :D

[badwithten]

“This is ridiculous” Hendery let out a huff as he walked towards the front room of the apartment.

“You say that but you're getting ready to leave” Kun said matter of factually following behind him.

“Because you're making me go” 

“I’m not making you go anywhere. I’m just saying I invited Y/N to lunch with me but I think it’s a good idea if you go and talk to her as well”

“Shut up” He ran his hands through his hair. Was he really about to do this? It was something he had been dreading for a long time but he knew eventually he would have to talk to you again. It wasn't fair on you or the boys to leave things how they are. If he wasn't so indecisive and moody we wouldn't even be having this problem.

“She doesn't know you're coming but I’m sure she won't mind”

“Just stop talking before I change my mind” They finally were ready to leave and started the short walk to the cafe where you were waiting unexpectedly. Kun had sent you a text asking if you want to come study with him.

The whole Hendery thing was a new situation for you. Never had you had a boy best friend that liked you, then you liked back but nothing happened between the two of you. Thinking back on the night that he kissed you made you upset, if you had just kissed him back things would have been fine. But you can't be angry at yourself as back then you didn’t like him. It felt wrong to be kissing him at the time. But now that’s all you thought about. His lips on yours. But it was wrong. You had Jaehyun and you were happy with him. Hendery had Nina and he was happy with her. Even if you couldn't be with Hendery you still wanted to be around him. You enjoyed his presence and his friends. Not being with him at all was harder than pretending to be ok with seeing him with someone else. 

The door to the quiet cafe finally opened and you looked up to see Kun walk in, a smile came across your face. But that smile quickly disappeared when you saw who followed him. Hendery offered you a smile but you couldn't give it back. It was too much seeing him here and you just needed to process how you felt first. They came over to the booth you had picked at took the seats opposite you.

“Sorry for bringing him along without asking but he needed help with the assignment and you seem like the person to help with that” Kun did the talking for him, which you were both glad for.

“It’s ok, it's nice to see you guys again” You pulled out your laptop to start working, instead you stared at the blank screen for a bit. Were you really about to talk about this stuff with Hendery while Kun was here? Or did he actually come just to study? 

“I’ll go order the drinks then. On me” Kun stood up to order, but you didn't want to be left alone with Hendery, not yet anyway. You assumed Hendery felt the same by the way he got stiff when Kun stood. Were you that unconformable to be around? 

“So..” You let out with a sigh, unsure where to even begin.

“Not right now. Not while Kun is still here. Please.” For the first time in what felt like forever he made direct eye contact. Not an accidental crossing between eyes, not someone caught staring or even just awkward looks towards each other. Real meaningful eye contact. You could see him better now, experience what he's feeling more clearly. The pain hiding behind his deep brown eyes, the tears nearly flowing out if it wasn't for his eyelashes and the dark circles beneath them. 

Luckily it wasn't long til Kun returned with the drinks, once he arrived back at the table you stopped looking at each other. It was time to study, put all of your emotions behind you for a little. You did just that and had a good time. You and Hendery worked on the assignment while Kun complained about whatever work he was doing. It was nice to be able to hang out with them as if things were still normal. As if your heart wasn't breaking. Although hours had passed it only felt like minutes, minutes until your time to be normal was over. Soon Kun was packing up to leave. This meant it would just be you and Hendery. You and Hendery by yourself to finally talk about everything. But you didn't want it to end, because right now things were normal and good. But after this conversation with Hendery things might not be normal and good anymore. You might never see him again. 

“Thanks for the drinks Kun, I owe you one” You hugged him goodbye before sitting back down.

“It’s ok Y/N, only Hendery owes me.”

“Why me? Why not Y/N?” He let out a dramatic sigh “I’m your roommate don't you love me?”

“Because Y/N doesn't leave her dirty socks around the apartment” You all let out another laugh, one that you hoped wouldn't be the last you heard. “Anyway I’ll see you later guys”

It was finally just the two of you. At night when you're lying awake in bed, thinking about what you would say to Hendery if you ever did confront him like this, you can’t shut those thoughts up. You have so much to say to him but now that you're actually here, your mind goes blank. You can’t think of the words you want to tell him. You can tell he has the same problem, he keeps opening his mouth to speak only to close it moments later. After watching him do it several more times you decide to take one for the team and start it off.

“Sorry for pushing you to far the other night” It took him off guard hearing you speak, not only that but you were apologizing for him? As if all of this wasn't because he didn't know what he wanted.

“Sorry for kicking you out of the apartment” He didn't know what else to say, so instead he mimics you, hoping to clear the air.

“Sorry for rejecting your kiss”

“Sorry for kissing you” Now it was his turn for taking you off guard. He's sorry for that kiss? He didn't want it? Is it just because of Nina or does he really regret kissing you that night?

“Why are you sorry for it?”

“It was the wrong time, you were upset, I shouldn't of done it.”

“But if it was a different time it would of been ok?”

“If it was a different time and you wanted it. Then it would of been ok”

“Well I’m telling you now I want it. If that’s what you want” You don’t know where that surge of courage came from, but you instantly regret it from his reaction. He groans and places his head in his hands. Was that the wrong thing to say? You let him hold himself while he thinks, while you think about how to say goodbye. This whole thing was a bad idea, images of Jaehyun flash through your mind. It's wrong to do this to him. Especially when you're still deeply in love with him.

“Y/N I need you to be honest with me” He makes eye contact once again and lends forehead, taking your hands in his. “You're with Jaehyun. I’m with Nina. But I have to admit I can't get you out of my mind. But I’m not sure what that means. I’m not sure how I feel about it. But what I need to know is how you feel about it. I know you love Jaehyun and you know I love Nina, it would be selfish of us to expect otherwise. But Y/N tell me one thing. Am I still on your mind?”

"Hendery of course you are”

“Hendery I don’t know”

r u ok? pt 12

hendery x reader

social media au, college au

hendery notices that the loud girl in class becomes quiet and withdrawn. they’ve never talked before but he wants to help. but it ends up going further than a simple ‘r u ok?’

masterlist

prev | ending one | ending two

[gluupor]

Hi! I absolutely love your writing

Andrew can smell him coming before he can hear him. His sense of smell is excellent—which he regrets greatly since both Neil and Kevin are on the footie team meaning their dorm reeks of sweaty boy—but even so there’s something distinctive about Neil’s scent. It’s not even his blood that Andrew can smell (and despite the fact that he needs to consume it to live, blood doesn’t even smell that good to him—like raw meat and pennies) just him. Neil smells alive in a way that most people don’t; alive and desperate to stay that way, despite (or maybe because of) the fact that he doesn’t think he’ll survive the year.

It’s not long before he can hear Neil, too. He’s shuffling his feet and clearing his throat, as if he’s trying not to startle Andrew into falling off the Ramparts. Andrew wants to scoff. As if Neil could sneak up on him. As if Andrew isn’t absurdly aware of his whereabouts at all times.

Neil comes to a stop several steps behind him; he’s close enough now that Andrew can hear the rush of blood through his veins, can practically feel his heartbeat. It’s both comforting and enticing, and Andrew wants, he wants—

Nothing. He wants nothing. He can have nothing. He’s known that for his entire life; he learned that lesson long before Drake decided he wanted to make his latest plaything into an undead monster like him.

Neil shifts from foot to foot, indecisive. Andrew half-turns toward him, planning to tell him to spit out whatever it is he wants to say. It’s probably another accusation of some kind. He’s convinced that Andrew wants to kill him for some reason. Possibly because Andrew has made one or two attempts to do so.

(Not serious attempts. He mostly just tried to scare him into telling the truth. The Roommates’ Anathema prevents Andrew from actually hurting Neil—much to his past annoyance. He couldn’t believe his bad luck when the Crucible placed the mysterious newcomer into his and Kevin’s room.)

“Andrew—” says Neil, before cutting himself off. His expression shifts from incredulous to irritated. “Are you smoking? For God’s sake, you’re flammable!”

“Everyone’s flammable,” mutters Andrew rebelliously, although he knows very well that vampires are more flammable than most. When Drake bit him it unlocked his magical powers for the first time. He pushed Drake off of him, and wordlessly cast a Tyger, tyger, burning bright (not that he’d known that’s what he was doing at the time). It had been like dry kindling going up in flames.

“Jesus Christ,” complains Neil, as he grasps the key that always hangs from his belt. It’s large and old and bronze, and it’s the only magical instrument that has ever worked in Neil’s hands.

Andrew gave it to him; it’s an old Hemmick family heirloom that Andrew had used until he’d found a magical silver knife in the catacombs when searching for rats to drain of blood. The key had never felt right in his own hands; his knife felt like it belonged there. When Neil had shown up at Watford without a family or a magical instrument of his own, there had been a long search where students offered him instruments they weren’t using, until he’d settled on Andrew’s key.

“Make a wish!” casts Neil, instantly extinguishing the cigarette, and filling the air with the scent of his magic—wintergreen and ozone.

Andrew turns away from him and flicks the now-soggy cigarette over the Ramparts. “You swear like a Normal.”

Neil appears at his side and leans against the stonework. “I am a Normal.”

“Sure you are,” replies Andrew, raising an eyebrow. Because so many Normals can control magic.

Neil made a big splash in the World of Mages when he was found living in the Normal world, with no known Magical family. Almost as big as Andrew did, although it was quickly discovered that Andrew actually belonged to the Hemmick family (one of the oldest and most powerful Magical families) but that his mother, the family fuck up, had given him up for adoption in the Normal world. Andrew was incensed—or he would have been, if he hadn’t learned to control his emotions by then—when he learned about how protective the World of Mages was over magical children. If only his mother had told her brother she was pregnant instead of hiding out in the Normal world, he and his twin Aaron would have been given magical homes.

Of course, they probably would have lived with their Uncle Luther, which, given his cousin Nicky’s stories, would have sucked. But it still would have been better than Normal foster care.

“Neil Josten is a Normal,” corrects Neil, giving Andrew a side eyed look.

“And before you were Neil Josten?” asks Andrew. He usually skirts the topic, pretending that he has no idea that Neil is lying about his identity as long as Neil continues to pretend he has no idea that Andrew is a vampire.

Neil smiles at him and doesn’t answer. Andrew’s chest throbs. He wants to kiss Neil, which isn’t surprising or new. He spends most of his time wanting to kiss Neil, wanting to bury his face against his neck to feel his pulse and his warmth and the rush of his blood, wanting to prove to himself that Neil is still alive.

He also wants to push Neil off the Ramparts for making him feel these things.

“Too bad you weren’t ten minutes earlier,” he says instead. “There was a confused ghost trying for a visiting.” The Veil is thin and these visitings have been going on for weeks. Andrew isn’t expecting anything—he has no family he cares about and he doubts that his ancestors would pick him to speak to in any case.

“Oh?” asks Neil lightly.

“A woman, looking for her son. Abram.”

Neil is practiced at lying so he controls his reaction tolerably well; Andrew doesn’t think that anyone who hadn’t spent as long as he has observing Neil would even notice the way he tenses.

“It’s an unusual name,” continues Andrew, feeling like he’s pressing on a bruise. “I don’t think there’s anyone at Watford with it.”

“Not that I’ve heard,” replies Neil, his voice almost natural. “What… what did the ghost say?”

“Mostly she just moaned for her son and told me to stay away from him—I have no idea who she thought I was.”

“Uh huh.”

“And then she said that danger approaches and Abram must leave Watford.” Andrew watches as his words fall like a blow, confirming his suspicions.

He gives in to his desires and reaches out to touch Neil, gripping him by the back of his neck. “Good thing your name is Neil,” he says roughly. “You’re not going anywhere.”

[armsdealing]

i love sending people memes. however something that’s important to note is that whenever i send memes i always try to send several (like anywhere between 2-5), simply because i’ve got too many characters and there’s many interactions i could see happening or i’m just an indecisive bastard. it’s never an obligation to answer them all -- i am never expecting that. you can do it if u want to, but u can pick and choose too. and if none of the memes i send really click with you you should never feel afraid to tell me to try and send other ones. 

if you’re okay with being sent more than one meme at a time feel free to lmk by liking this message also. especially if we haven’t interacted yet. i may just send u some rn!

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Fifty-Three: Stacks ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Hyūga Neji, Hyūga Hiashi ] [ SasuHina, death ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

What a heavy two weeks it’s been.

The passing of her aunt was undeniably difficult. Funeral arrangements - handled mostly by her cousin, and her father - at least ended with a beautiful if not sorrowful reflection of her life. And as much as the grief weighs on them, well...life goes on. They all have jobs, homes, and in some cases relationships to tend to. While Hotaru will never be forgotten...there’s still so much more to be remembered.

Hinata took the few days surrounding the funeral off from work to stay in the city, helping with arrangements and providing moral support for Neji. Thankfully her boss is rather understanding, giving her the days with her paid leave and offering more should something come up.

Two days after, Hinata’s arranged to return home, giving heartfelt goodbyes to her cousin, and even to her father and sister.

“...hopefully the next time I’m in town, things will be...lighter,” she offers softly, hands loosely clasped as she looks sorrowfully at them all. “D-don’t hesitate to call if you need me, or if something else comes up.”

“Thank you, Hinata. Having you here made a world of difference,” Neji replies, tone still weighed with grief.

“Of course...take care, Neji. Father, Hanabi.”

“We’ll be in touch,” Hiashi assures her before the group disbands.

Thankfully, by now, Hinata’s car is more than fixed. The demolished tire from her first day back to the city was easily replaced, and nothing else has gone wrong with the vehicle since.

...she also hasn’t contacted the man who gave her a lift into town.

Mostly, she just can’t wrap her head around a celebrity just so happening upon her in her hour of need, let alone being nice enough to give her a ride, listen to her grief, and give her his number in case she happened to need anything else.

In truth, well...nothing has come up to ask of him. Not that Hinata thinks she could bring herself to even if something did, but...well, she also lacks an excuse.

And now she’s heading home for what will likely be a long absence from her home city, and...she’s not sure when she’ll be back, let alone if she’ll ever have a reason or chance to run into Sasuke again. The two hour drive is typically only made for holidays or birthdays. Or...well, days like what brought her here this time around.

But before she makes the long trip back, Hinata decides to be ever so slightly self indulgent. While some parts of the city hold bittersweet (or just plain bitter) memories...one place she still finds comfort in is a diner along one of the slower streets. How it’s still standing with all of the remodels and buyouts around it, Hinata really isn’t sure...but she’s damn glad it’s still there.

Parking in the lot with a surprising amount of other cars, she steps out and locks her own, taking a moment to look the building over. It’s had a few touch-ups since she was a little girl - new paint, a bigger parking lot - but otherwise is the same place she can just barely remember coming to with her mother and father before Hanabi was born, and her mother lost.

Sighing softly, she adjusts her purse along her shoulder and walks in.

Immediately, the smells of good food fill her nose, and she can’t help a small smile and a happy hum. It’s been far too long since she let herself come here. Waiting to be taken to a table, she accepts a menu...but already knows what she’s here for.

...that’s when she pauses.

Digging out her phone, her fingers wriggle in indecision over the screen, hovering over Sasuke’s name. Surely he’s busy...it’s not like she can just ask him to stop what he’s doing and waste his time on her. Especially for something so...insignificant.

...and yet something tells her to try

Nibbling her lip, she quickly types up a message and hits send before she can chicken out.

...do you happen to be in the mood for pancakes?

Setting her phone down anxiously, she locks her hands to keep from fidgeting, eyes giving the mobile frequent glances. A minute passes...and then two...and then it buzzes!

Like she’s trying to grab a slippery fish, Hinata dives onto the phone, nearly letting it squirt out of her grip before reading the message.

As a matter of fact, I was just thinking about lunch. Where r u?

Staring dumbly at the reply, it takes her a long moment to process that he just agreed. Shaking away her shock, she gives him the name and address of the place.

Cool. C u in 10.

...did that really just happen?

A bit numb in shock, Hinata declines to order quite yet, instead asking for a mug of hot chocolate...complete with whip cream. Sipping it quietly once it arrives, she can’t help her eyes flicking to the door every few seconds.

When he walks in, she almost chokes.

Dark eyes roam over the place before spotting her, gesturing when the waitress comes to seat him. She, unlike Hinata’s first impression, clearly recognizes him, attempting to subtly gush over him as she takes him to Hinata’s table.

...her attitude cools, however, when she sees he’s moving to sit alone with a woman.

Shrinking a bit sheepishly at her scathing glance, Hinata watches her go before looking to Sasuke. “...I, um...I-I really didn’t think you’d...that you’d come.”

“You caught me at just the right time,” he affirms, giving his own menu a glance. “Just finished a photo shoot and I’m starving.”

“...oh! Well...good! Um...just about a-anything is good here.”

“You said something about pancakes?”

Oh...he remembers what she said? “Y...yeah. Um…” A nervous hand tucks hair behind her ear. “...I used to come here with my family when I was pretty little. After all of the...after the last few weeks, I just...wanted to come in again before I left.”

“Heading home?”

“Mhm...I’ve already missed several days of work.”

“Ah, right...architect, if I remember correctly…?”

“Yes. M-my boss is pretty nice, so...I’ve had more time than I r-really should have.”

“Glad they understood. And that I got to see you before you head back.”

Hinata can’t help but stiffen just a hair in surprise. He’s…? “M...me too. Sorry I didn’t, um...text you earlier. Busy, and...w-well, I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Sasuke snorts. “If I had something on, I’d just reply later. My brother has me well trained not to look at my phone when I shouldn’t.”

She stifles a small laugh. “Oh…?”

“Yeah...he’s a bit more polite than I am,” Sasuke replies, giving a hint of a grin. “Older brother syndrome: forever my babysitter.”

“M-my cousin is the same way with me…”

It’s then the waitress returns, asking for their orders. Hinata gets her desired pancakes topped with strawberry jam, and Sasuke does the same, holding on the jam and getting only butter.

“Not a fan of sweets,” he explains at her look once the server leaves.

“W-what?! But...that’s not possible. Sweets are so good!”

He shrugs, clearly amused. “I think my brother got all the sweet teeth. He’d be right there with you. I’m just more of a salty or savory guy.”

“Then w-why did you get pancakes…? There’s other things to order.”

“Well, I wanted to see what the fuss was about.”

In spite of herself, Hinata goes a light shade of pink.

Eventually, two rather impressive stacks of pancakes arrive: one with jam, the other slathered in butter. Hinata has to pause. Has this dish always come with so many…? Can she even eat them all?

“Smells awesome,” Sasuke admits, breaking her from her surprise.

“...they are! They’re p-perfectly light and fluffy,” she replies, eagerness returning at his enthusiasm. Taking up her own utensils, she takes a bite as he does, forgetting herself for a moment and humming in satisfaction.

Just as heavenly as she remembers.

Across from her, Sasuke chews thoughtfully for a moment before swallowing. “...I will admit, I’m not really a pancake guy...but these are damn good.”

Mouth still full, Hinata simply brightens in response, then going pink as she realizes she looks like a bit of a chipmunk, cheeks full of pancake.

As she sheepishly ducks to chew, Sasuke just chuckles.

They pass the time with idle conversation: Sasuke does most of the talking, offering bits of his schedule the past few weeks. As expected, he’s been busy.

“Since our last film came out, we’ve been promoting it like crazy. It’s done pretty well, so they want to milk it for all its worth. Hence the shoot this morning.”

“I see...I don’t really s-see many movies, but I’ll have to go watch it!”

“You don’t have to just cuz I’m in it. Only if you’re actually interested.”

“I am!”

Head leaned in a hand as he watches her struggle to finish her last pancake, Sasuke seems to quietly study her. “...m’glad you texted me. I talk to a lot of people, but...it’s a lot easier to talk to you than any of them.”

She pauses mid bite, blinking. “...really?”

“Yeah. You’re just so...normal.” His brow perks as she snorts. “...what?”

“...I-I don’t know about normal…”

“Well, compared to a lot of the kooks I end up around most days. You just...talk. And listen. Everyone else just wants to be heard, wants to be right, wants something from me. It’s exhausting.”

Brow wilting, Hinata isn’t sure how to respond. “...it c-certainly sounds tiring...I’m sorry.”

“Eh...it comes with the job. Still...it’s nice to have a break. So thanks. I needed this more than you know. But by the sounds of it, you don’t head this way too often, do you?”

At that, she grimaces a bit in guilt. “Well...no, n-not really. Four hours round trip is just...rough. And, um...m-my family is rather busy, so I don’t see them much. But...maybe I could -?”

“Don’t make arrangements just on my behalf,” he cuts in, waving a hand. “That’s not fair.”

“But -?”

“It’s fine. If you have other reasons to turn up, let me know, and I’ll make it work. But don’t go out on a limb just for my sake. I’ll survive. Besides, we’ve broken the texting ice. That’ll be nice on its own.”

“Well...a-all right.”

He affords her a small smile before glancing to her plate, half a pancake still left. “...give up?”

After a confused pause, she laughs. “Yeah...I don’t remember it being that much food.”

Before she can object, he sneaks his fork over, snagging a cut but untouched bite and chomping it.

Hinata just...blinks.

“...hm...not too bad,” he offers nonchalantly, setting down the utensil. “Still too sweet, though.”

She doesn’t have a reply, taken aback.

“Well...I better get back to it. And you probably want to get home.”

“O-oh, um...yeah.”

“Hey, text me when you get back, all right? Just in case I have to go rescue you again.”

“...oh! Um...a-all right. I’ll...I’ll do that.”

The pair head out, Hinata ignoring the squinting glare from the waitress as she finds her car. “Well...guess I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yeah, for sure. Drive safe, Hinata.”

“Y-you too!” Slipping into her seat, Hinata revs the engine before carefully navigating the lot, winding through town and onto the highway.

Belly full of pancakes and mind full of thoughts, she prepares for the long drive home.

                                                           .oOo.

     (This is a sequel to day 352!)      A very quick turn around from yesterday's prompt! Partly because this actually fit and came to me quickly, but also because a reader asked for a follow up, and...I thought I'd go ahead and do that!      Hinata seems to be making a new friend! Nothing quite like bonding over pancakes, lol - Sasuke appears to appreciate her simplicity. I'm sure they're going to remain in touch ;3      Anywho, I gotta head to bed, so that's all from me. Thanks for reading!

[four-loose-screws]

FE4 Suzuki Novelization Translation - Chapter 6 Part 4

If you would like to start from the beginning, read a missed part, etc., click here!

FE Game Script Translations - FE Novel Translations - Original FE Support Conversations - Ko-fi

———————————

Chapter 6 - The Bard’s Introduction

Part 4

As Oifey feared, once Sigurd’s army captured Anphony Castle, Augusty Castle deployed their knights to attack Nordion.

The Kingdom of Augusty was famous for its powerful cavalry unit. If the entire unit attacked at once, they would probably capture Nordion. However, Chagall lacked confidence and decisiveness as a military leader. The moment he made up his mind to attack, all the potential ways he could lose came flooding into his mind. In the end, he decided to play it safe and keep the main unit behind, so he could keep a solid defense over Augusty even if he lost to Nordion.

As a result, they were driven away by Sigurd’s infantry unit, which had just returned to Nordion.

-

The moment the battle was over, Beowulf went to Nordion Castle.

He passed through the castle gate, and saw a beautiful young woman with blonde hair dressed as a soldier. She was giving out orders to the Nordionian Army.

‘Seems awful stuck up.’ He thought in response to her behavior and expressions, then asked one of the soldiers, “Who’s she?”

“Princess Lachesis, King Eldigan’s younger sister.”

‘So that’s his little sister, eh?’

He’d gotten a bad impression of Eldigan when he once traveled to Nordion looking for work.

-

While resting alongside the road, he met a group of cavaliers that would occasionally go hunting. The leader was well dressed, rode a white horse, and had perfect posture.

‘He looks like a pretty high-ranking cavalier.’ Beowulf thought.

He asked the knight at the end of the line who they were, and the man said with pride, “That man is our king, His Majesty Eldigan!”

Beowulf mounted his horse, and rode up alongside Eldigan.

“Your Majesty!”

Eldigan stopped his horse and looked at him.

“I am Beowulf, a mercenary. I would like to serve you, if you would please consider hiring me…”

“Sorry, but Nordion has no need for mercenaries. Excuse me.” Eldigan said, and continued on as if nothing had happened.

Beowulf simply watched Eldigan and his men walk away, unable to say anything.

‘That man has everything, and I have nothing.’

But that stark difference between them did not make him jealous, rather, he was relieved to be nothing like Eldigan.

-

After that, Beowulf asked the villagers about Eldigan every chance he had. They were always happy to boast about their king, and also told him about his half-sister, Lachesis, from a different mother. She was a beautiful, refined girl. But the envious villagers also told him that she was a little too close to her brother.

‘And those villagers were right.’ He thought, looking at her from the side.

‘She’s completely different from any girl I’ve ever met before. The difference between them and her is as great as the difference between Eldigan and I.’

Beowulf had very rugged face, which was attractive to women who liked such features. However, next to the princess, he felt ugly by comparison.

Suddenly, he was overcome by an impulse unlike anything he’d ever felt before.

Before he realized what he was doing, he was next to Lachesis.

She stared at him, and seemed to be on edge.

“So this is the princess of Nordion!”

“How rude! And who might you be?”

“Oh, sorry to bother you. I’m a mercenary. Name’s Beowulf.”

“Do you have business with me?”

“Yeah, I just wanna say one thing to you. War is no game. A chick like you would just get in our way! You should behave more like a princess, and stay in the castle.”

“Why you…! You have no right to say such a thing to me! I’ve done a lot for this army!”

“Ha ha ha! You really are Eldigan’s sister. You have a really strong spirit.”

“Huh? ...You know my brother?”

“Yeah, we were acquaintances a long time ago. He asked me to look after you, so that’s why imposed myself on you like that.”

“Oh, I understand now. I’m sorry.” There was nothing arrogant about the way she spoke her words. They were a genuine apology.

“Yeah, me too.” He panicked and thought, ‘What did I say that for!?’ However, he found his next sentence coming out as smooth as ever. “If you want, I can teach you how to fight in your free time. Eldigan would want me to.”

“Yes, Please. If you have something in mind already, we can start right now.”

“Really? Try holding your sword, then.”

If he didn’t know any better, he would have said she wasn’t in a battle stance at all.

“Alright, think of me as an enemy. Attack me.”

“But…”

“But what?”

“You don’t have a sword.”

“That’s fine. Just come at me!”

“Ha!” She put a fair amount of power into her swing, but he was easily able to dodge it.

“Good. Once more!”

“Hii-yah!”

Not even three minutes later, Lachesis was already out of breath.

“Alright, that’s enough for today.”

Lachesis sheathed her sword, then looked at Beowulf with a worried expression.

“That was an amazing first training session.”

Her face lit up at his words.

“But you still lack power. You look like a princess playing a game of fencing. From now on, we’re going to train every day.”

She’d never heard such harsh words before, not even from her brother. But she agreed with him. “Please.”

He could tell by the light in her eyes that she already trusted him.

‘No woman’s ever looked at me like that before. I’d never be able to betray her.’ He thought. ‘I’ll protect your sister while you’re gone, King Eldigan.’

ー

Sigurd gathered together the leaders of his army for a tactics meeting.

To reach Augusty and save Eldigan, they needed to pass through Mackily. And to do that, they would have to capture the castle. The only road to Mackily was a thin one between two plateaus.

However, on the right-side plateau were five ballistae, ready to shoot down anyone who tried to travel down the road. To make matters worse, the villagers told them that King Clement of Mackily was a mage with the ability to wield a Sleep Staff.

Deirdre offered to use her Silence Staff once more, but for her to do that, she had to enter the ballistae’s range.

“The ballistae are dangerous, but their accuracy is poor. If our calvary ambush them, we can minimize the damage done to our army. Several of them might be put to sleep, but I think it’s worth the risk if we can defeat Clement.” Eve, one of the Cross Knights, suggested.

“No, that plan is too risky for me.” Sigurd dissented. “Is there any way we can come close to Mackily Castle without entering the ballistae’s range?”

“It is possible. There’s a mountain path north of Evans. If we climb that, we can pass behind the ballistae. But that would take a week.”

“Yes! Then, we can avoid being seen by them at all! The problem though is the week of travel. Oifey, do you think anything might happen to Eldigan during that time?”

“I asked for information from the Cross Knights, and they said Augusty’s cavalier unit is extremely powerful. The group that attacked Nordion was only a fraction of their full army. However, it also seems that what I’ve heard about Chagall is correct. He is very indecisive. Therefore, I can say with confidence that King Eldigan is safe."

"What makes you say that?"

"If Augusty loses, then he can use Eldigan as leverage to convince us to agree to a cease-fire. He won’t risk losing that option.”

“Of course. Then let’s go with the mountain strategy. It will also allow everyone some time to relax.”

Sigurd put together the small unit that would go with him, entrusted Nordion to Quan, then left for Evans Castle.

-

When they arrived at Evans Castle, they saw a group of pegasi flying towards them from the north.

“What are Silessian pegasus knights doing here?” Sigurd wondered aloud.

Meanwhile, Lewyn rushed up to the top of the castle wall.

The pegasus knights shifted into a battle formation, but Lewyn took off his striped bard’s turban, and waved his arms, signaling to the pegasus knights. His bright green hair flowed in the wind.

He recognized their leader. It was Erinys.

When she saw Lewyn’s green hair, she gasped, and ordered her knights to halt the attack. She realized there was a chance the man might be Prince Lewyn, who they’d been sent out to search for.

They approached the castle wall, still cautious, and immediately knew for sure that the man was indeed Lewyn.

Erinys sped up her pegasus and quickly landed on the castle wall.

“Prince Lewyn, you’re safe!”

“Yes, I am. But more importantly, Erinys, why are you here? You even tried to kill me!”

“I apologize. But, you're wearing such strange clothing, that I didn’t think it was you…”

“This? Oh, it’s what a bard wears. What do you think? Looks good on me, huh?”

“U-Um, yes, it does.”

“Hmph! The look on your face says otherwise! Well, whatever. You still haven’t answered my question.”

“N-No, I haven’t. I apologize. Queen Rahna ordered us to go look for you. We went to Augusty Castle, looking for information about you, and King Chagall told us that you’d been captured by the Grannvalian Army, and were being held at Evans Castle…”

“You’re too trusting.”

“Huh?”

“Did you get a good look at his face? Didn’t you notice that he has the face of a liar?”

“Um…”

“It’s great that you’re so honest, but you’d never make it as a commoner. Someone would take advantage of you, and you’d end up like Sylvia…”

“Prince, Lewyn, who is… Sylvia…?”

“Oh, um… nevermind. So what are you going to do now that you’ve found me?”

“We’re going to take you back to Silesse, of course! Please come home with us! Queen Rahna is worried about you!”

“If I go home, then it will only incite civil war! It would do nothing more than make the people suffer. Are you okay with that?”

“But you are Wind God Forseti’s successor...”

“But I don’t have the Holy Mark!”

“You’re lying.”

“How would you know?”

“Because Queen Rahna told me that it might not have appeared when you left the country, but surely it would have by now…”

“So, are you going to undress me and look to see if I have it?”

“Uh… um…”

“I’m joking, I’m joking. I’ll do it. I’ll go home soon. But there’s things I must do here first.”

“Then please let me stay with you. I’ll go tell my knights that you’re safe.”

“I’d tell you not to, but I know you wouldn’t listen. I get it. I’m going to stay with Prince Sigurd for the time being. He’s an interesting man. Plus, his army is full of beautiful women. You should become friends with them! You could teach them a thing or two about how to be a proper lady.”

“Y-Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Hey, I’m still joking. Isn’t it obvious? Don’t look so scared. Jeez, you’re too serious. ...But, you’re also the cutest woman in the world. So don’t change. You’re perfect the way you are.”

“Y-Yes, You’re Majesty. ...I-I mean, no, I’m not…”

‘She hasn’t changed a bit.’ Lewyn thought at the sight of her blushing face. ‘But she’s grown into a fine woman since I last saw her, physically speaking.’