#as soon as i 1. get our of my writing slump and 2. get some ideas

[sapphiim]

there needs to be more emijulisuba content in the world. subaru has 2 hands he can have both a wife and a boyfriend

[rileyglas]

The List ~Pt. 7.5 - Clarity~

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) x Reader

Summary: Written from Alastor's POV, this chapter gives insight of what the Radio Demon is up to during Part 7. Feeling like you (Alastor) are going mad, you makes a visit to your dearest friend leading to a shocking confession to Husker.

Themes: The usual angst, mystery, sassiness, cursing, fluff, actual plot, Rosie is the sweetest, slow burn, poor Husker, and of course 18+

A/N: This part isn't necessarily needed to follow the story however it was fun to do something a little different. I tried writing in Alastor's voice and give a (small) glimpse into his side.

3.6k Words

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 7.A (You're on it!) Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

**sentences in italics are internal thoughts of the reader/Alastor

This is maddening. You buried yourself in pointless work. Anything to refrain from having to leave your tower and see the others around the hotel, especially her. The foreign ache in your chest only throbbed more at the thought of seeing the hurt in her eyes. Reckless fool! How could I allow her to make me feel such emotions? Almost a hundred years of creating my image and some sinner has the ability to destroy me like this - no - of course not…she was never just some sinner…

Slumping over the scattered paperwork across the desk, you bury your head in your claws. Time was non-existent. Has it been hours? Weeks? Months? No, couldn’t have been that long since you watched her entire being shatter right in front of you. The pain was too much for it to have been that long. This was supposed to just be a partnership, a power grab…How did I end up like this? The radio tower has been your home since she left. You were far too prideful to go back to your room, too afraid of what would happen the moment you caught a whiff of her perfume that surely lingered in every grain of wood and every fiber of your sheets. 

A few soft taps at the door pull you from your tormented mind. Quickly standing from the desk, you straighten your shirt and throw on the same suit jacket you’ve worn for who knows how long. I must keep up appearances, no one can suspect anything otherwise. 

With a shake of your head, you plaster on the usual smile and open the door to see Charlie and Vaggie. “Hey Al! Just wanted to let you know we are about to head up to Heaven for a few hours. Mind keeping an eye on the hotel while we are gone?” Charlie beamed with an excitement that quite contrasted her partner's uncomfortable scowl. 

“Of course my dear! Your hotelier has everything covered.” you chime with a half-hearted bow. Vaggie steps forward, obviously annoyed, “Don’t set anything on fire, don’t destroy any more walls, and please for the hundredth time - keep Nifty out of our room. Last time she tried to throw out all my clothes!”  You hum in acknowledgement and follow a concerningly bouncy Charlie down to the lobby where, like clockwork, a portal to Heaven opens. “Common Vaggie! Bye everyone!” Charlie hops through the portal, dragging a less than amused Vaggie behind her. 

“Sheesh Smiles, you look like -” Angel starts to say before promptly shutting up and going back to his phone after seeing the glare you shoot towards him. Twirling your cane, you walk over to the bar where Husk tentatively pulls out a glass as if silently asking if you wanted a drink. You wave him off, “No need Husker. I have much to do today and need to be of a clear head.” Yeah right, like I’ve managed a clear head at all lately. “Though I am curious, where is our charming little friend? I heard she had fallen ill.”

Husk shrugs but Angel is quick to chime in, “Oh Charlie sent her to get some things from town and take them to Lucifer. She’ll probably be back soon…as long as Lucifer doesn’t take up too much of her time - if you know what I mean.” Angel mutters the last part seductively with a wink. A fiery rage burns through your veins. How dare he insinuate something so repulsive!? The urge to shred the sinner limb from limb boils over and your eyes flash to him, “It’d be wise to keep such vile comments to yourself spider.” you hiss through gritted teeth. A relaxed smile returns as you regain composure and walk away. Without her around, you figure you’ll have some time to freely move about the hotel, busying yourself with the usual to-dos.

You finish the last of your tasks and begin to head back to the tower when Vaggie and Charlie come flying back through a portal, landing harshly on their backs. Tears flood Charlie’s face. She pulls out her phone to make a call, “Dad, you were right. It was horrible!” she says before hanging up. Within seconds another portal opens within the lobby, this time Lucifer coming through. Of course he has to make a grand appearance. 

Your attention snaps back to Charlie in time to see her shove Vaggie away and bolt up the stairs. Now would be a good time to make quite an impression on the girl. You attempt to follow the princess but Lucifer drives his elbow into your side, forcing you into the railing. Every muscle in your face twists in annoyance at the pretentious little “King”. The urge to go after him is quickly snuffed by the feeling of eyes burning into your back. 

A glance over your shoulder makes your heart drop into your stomach. There she is, staring into you. Her eyes didn’t have their bright sparkle and she looked utterly exhausted even with all the makeup. Did she always put on so much? No, she hated caking it on. I really did a number on her didn’t I? Her usually bright smile is replaced with a grim look of…Anger? Concern? Pain? You don’t have enough time to read her before Lucifer makes his way back down the stairs. 

“She seems to need some time alone.” he announces as he makes his way back over to the shell of a woman standing before you. You watch as he pulls her flush with his body, greedy hands snaking up her sides. He mumbles something before placing his foul lips against her skin and disappearing into red ribbons. 

Her face mirrors your feelings of disgust at his touch. Did he force himself on her? I swear if he hurt - You catch yourself stepping towards her. Every ounce of your being longed to wrap her into your arms. Your heart begged to pour yourself into her, to remove every trace of Lucifer from her body. Her gaze meets yours again. You freeze. The pain behind the eyes that stared back at you made your knees nearly buckle. What is wrong with me… With a nod you slink into your shadow. I believe it’s time to visit someone who can help.

It was always a pleasure to be in Rosie’s presence. You can’t quite remember how you met but you knew she was easily your oldest, truest friend here in Hell. Usually you didn’t dally much about romance, her self-proclaimed specialty, but right now you could use any insight she could give. 

“Alastor! How I’ve missed seeing that dazzling smile of yours!” Rosie pulls you into her ever smothering hug,  “Come along, I was just getting some tea. Tell me, what do I owe the pleasure of such company?”

You remain quiet as you sit at the table to pour two cups of tea, smile faltering just enough to tell her something was very wrong. “Oh darlin’, what’s going on? I can’t recall a time you’ve looked so distressed.” It was strange hearing yourself try to explain these last few months. You’ve always made it a point to be very well spoken, years of broadcasting have ingrained it into your mind. But today you fumbled your words telling Rosie how you wound up in this position - with these…feelings.

“Oh my stars. I never thought this day would come.” She sits back in her chair in astonishment. Your ears perk up at her short response, “What do you mean dear?” Rosie leans back towards you, gently placing a hand atop yours, “Alastor darling, you’re in love!” 

An uneasy feeling washes over you. Your hand quickly retracts at the mention of that word. Love? What a ridiculous notion. It’s fruitless…unnecessary…weak…

Her face softens at your doubtful silence, “All of those moments, the desires, even the pain…it’s obvious you’ve fallen head over heels for that gal. She must be quite a charmer to get you this worked up!” she laughs giddily but you’re far from amused at this assumption. 

“Rosie dear, I’m not some hopeless romantic. I don't have the time nor the need for such frivolous things.” She frowns at your bitter denial. You can see she’s reeling, trying to find her next words. She stands up and begins pacing the room, still unable to conjure the right response. Your frustration grows as you try to reason with her, “Look, I just need to figure out how to be rid of this. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can barely think without her somehow worming her way into my mind.”

Her dark eyes snap to you, “You admit you want more than just a mutual partnership?”

“Well yes -”

She steps closer to you, “And you crave her presence, her touch, her voice?”

“Always but - “

“Do you desire a future with her and only her?”

Irritated, you try to answer once again, “At one point yes howev-”

“Alastor, do not deny yourself love just because you don’t fully understand it! It is not a weakness - no sir - it’s quite the contrary.” 

“Enough!” The table jolts beneath your now balled up fists, “What does it matter!? She loathes me! I set fire to her and burned any trust or feelings she could possibly have for me! I ran her off - straight into that imbecile's arms!” you snarl with a heavy static filling the air. 

A gentle hand rests on your shoulder. You look up at Rosie like a remorseful child, “She’d never believe me even if I told her…” you say softly. She squeezes your shoulder before returning to her chair and taking a sip from her cup. “Words are cheap, but actions, they speak for the truth. Don’t allow your pride to get in the way of what you could have.” Her tone turns sharp and concise, “Now, I know you and I know you’re not one to hold onto what ‘could have been’ or fret over past mistakes. But I’m telling you from experience, if you don’t at least try with this girl, you will regret it.” The words drive into you like a hot knife.

A heavy silence falls between you two while a battle rages in your mind. She’s never steered me wrong before, but how can she be so sure? She hasn’t even met this girl and she can already make these incredibly bold assumptions. You finish your tea and stand from the table. Walking over to Rosie’s chair, you bend down to peck her cheek with a quiet, “Thank you.” before stepping into your shadow to return to the hotel. 

In the past you’d have a drink or two to celebrate a victory or to get Mimzy off your case about ‘the good old days’, but tonight you wanted to be numb. “Another.” you demand, slamming the glass against the hotel bar. 

Husk cautiously pours more into your cup, “Uh boss, you doin’ alright?” Before he can finish his question your glass is empty and pounds the bar again, “Another!” you repeat. Husk couldn’t figure out if he should be amused or scared about your sudden change in demeanor. He pours you more, not daring to say no to the demon who owned his soul so tightly. 

You weren’t keeping count of how many drinks you managed to take into your body. Truthfully you didn’t care. The liquor was supposed to make the thoughts stop and numb everything but you found it only amplified with each glass. “Husker…Did - did you see him?” your speech might have been perfect but your mind was definitely beginning to blur. 

“See who?” Husk asked nervously looking around, wondering what strange delusions you might be seeing. 

You hiccup and laugh at his oblivious reaction, “That King…putting his hands all over her. He’s trying to take what is rightfully mine. He has no business touching her in such ways!” you growl as another hiccup leaves your chest. 

“Oh - uh yeah I saw that. She didn’t seem too happy about it either -”

“You’re damn right she wasn’t!” you shout louder than intended.

“Right…” Husk trails off, unsure of how to handle you in this new state of drunken anger, “Look, you don’t have to tell me but you’re definitely drinkin’ to forget something.” he says, trying to tread lightly. 

You signal for another drink while shaking your head in response to his question, “My dear Husker I - I think I’ve developed…feelings - “ The sudden sound of a bottle shattering makes you jump out of your chair. Looking over the bar you see Husker frantically cleaning up the bottle he dropped out of pure shock. 

He looks up at you, eyes wide with bewilderment, “Fuck sorry, I just thought I heard - feelings? What kind of feelings are we talkin?”

You slam another drink back, “Seeing him with her did something to me. It…hurt…It felt like a knife plunged into my chest.” If you were paying closer attention, you’d hear his snarky retort, “If only it was a real knife….” but you’re too preoccupied inside your own mind. Husk finishes cleaning the floor and leans against the bar, grabbing a new bottle and pouring you another without asking.

Why am I even talking with him? I didn’t think liquor could affect me so much down here. Ignoring instinct, you happily down another without wasting any time. The burn washes over your body and a peculiar sense of clarity suddenly hits, “I love that girl.” you say plainly, without a shimmer of doubt. 

Another bottle shatters against the floor along with the glasses Husk was starting to carry to the sink. “Fucking get it together Husker! Do you need gloves or something?! You’re wasting perfectly good rye!!! They would have had your head back in my day for such careless actions!” you shout at the now completely stunned bartender. He stares at you, eyes wider than saucers. Annoyed with the sudden lack of conversation from the demon - It is quite rude of him to just keep staring, I mean really - you slink away into your tower to be left with your thoughts. While you climb the stairs, you don’t bother looking back to see Husk’s mortified face as he mumbles frantically to himself, “What…in the actual fuck…just happened…I need a drink, wait no, I need ten drinks...and where the hell is Angel when you need him!?”

Your buzz begins to fade as you pace your tower, somehow causing everything to hit you tenfold. Rosie was right, I can’t deny this any longer. What am I going to do…hell what can I do? Why is this so hard to -

Three loud knocks reverberate through the tower. You still, not daring to give the person on the other side any clues as to if you were there or not. Please just go away, I don’t have the patience or clear mind for anyone right now. Your shadow tugs violently at your pant leg, signally the urgency of answering the door. You warily turn the knob and focus your eyes on the dimly lit woman in front of you. All the air leaves your lungs.

F-fuck…

Tag List (Let me know if you would like to be added!)

@rl800 @fairyv-ice @looking1016 @martinys-world @sirens-and-moonflowers @alastorssimp @alastorsgirl48 @mysterisumone @phamtasic @ohnah2022 @eris-norwega @kaylopolis @littlebluefishtail @little-slyvixen @laudrawin @qu1cks1lversb1tch

[wildlife4life]

Fuck-Friday Coda

Tagged by the always lovely @theotherbuckley @perfectlysunny02 @cal-daisies-and-briars @aroeddiediaz @exhuastedpigeon @hippolotamus @loserdiaz @wikiangela @daffi-990 @tizniz and @diazsdimples Thank you all so much for all the tags throughout the week and today! I have eased back on working NFL Buck because I am absolutely swamped with school. I have started clinic rounds and somehow the classwork has doubled for the next set of courses. Which holy crap. So a lot of my days are for studying, homework, and quizzes. Add on being a mom/house wife and yea, not a ton of time to work on my favorite WIP. But I am making time on Thursday to watch the newest 9-1-1 episodes and write codas, because I started them in the final episodes of season 6 and really enjoyed it! So I made a goal to make a coda for most if not all of season 7 episodes! 2/2! I will try my absolute damnest to get some work into NFL Buck because it is my baby and I know how much it is beloved. Until then, enjoy the season 7 codas. Posted to ao3.

7x02 Coda

“We-I…” Buck tries to find the right words again, but he has no idea what they should be.  He doesn’t know if he should be defending himself along with Eddie and Chimney, proclaim that they were just being honest with internal affairs. Or if he should defend Hen and the betrayal she felt when they couldn’t back her up.

Rock and a hard place, with Buck being squeezed tightly in between.

Chimney left the locker-room soon after Hen, with the passing false hope comment, “She’ll come around.”  His phone was half-way to his ear before disappearing around the ladder truck, most likely spilling the entire ordeal to Maddie.

Buck slumps back down on the bench and leans his head against the lockers, closing his eyes with a defeated sigh. Still standing close by, Buck hears Eddie hum in agreement. Yea, tonight was very much a downer.

“We should have had her back.” Buck finally says.

He feels additional weight added to bench and pressing warmth along his arm and thigh when Eddie sits beside him. “We did. We just all put our foots in our mouths trying to show her.” He assured.  He gives Buck knee a gentle squeeze, “You more than me with that whole ‘right call’ comment and wanting to give Captain Collier’s a hard time.”

Buck groans in embarrassment, “I was trying and horribly failing to lighten the mood.”

“The mood was dead on arrival; you had no chance.” Eddie chuckles.

They both go silent, stewing in the hurt emotions left behind by Hen and Chimney, mixing with their own anxiety and worry. It kind of reminds Buck of the last time Hen was captain and that man died at the happiness convention. God that felt like so long ago, when really is less than a year.  Yet here they all are, questioning themselves on the job after losing a patient and without Bobby’s steady leadership to help guide them through it.

Buck could only hope this didn’t send him or anyone else on the team into a spiral of questioning their purpose in life. And he really hoped it didn’t lead to another brush with death, for anyone of them.

The hand on Buck’s knee never left and gave another squeeze, pulling him from his past wallows and has his eyes fluttering open. He looks over at Eddie and sees an understanding smile gracing his lips. “That man’s death isn’t on us. We we’re working on the worst of the crash, and we saved that girl and her mother.  Hen made the right call, the same one Bobby would have made and when those lab results concur with her story, she’ll be back, and we’ll find a way to make it up to her.”

Buck takes a moment to let Eddie’s words sink it and pull him from the beginnings of a self-deprecating spiral. He did his job, he gave his facts of the event truthfully, and Hen would come around. In all regards, Buck just needed to learn how not to put his foot in his mouth, because at the moment it really was a nasty taste.

Slowly most of the tension that had built up during Hen’s confrontation eases away and Eddie felt it through the press of his shoulder into Buck’s, “That has to be a record.” He comments before getting to his feet and reaching a hand out.

Buck doesn’t even hesitate and tries his damnest not to flush too red as Eddie hauls him to his feet with little to no effort. The man has a girlfriend and Buck was done chasing. “Uh yea. Turns out when you stop trying to search for the life’s great moments and instead live in them, internal spiraling is easier to pull out of.” He explains. Eddie also is a big contributor, but Buck isn’t going to admit that to said man.

“Well… At least those self-help books will make good kindling for the next campfire.” Eddie cackles and Buck swats at his shoulder which only makes him laugh harder.

Eventually Buck joins in and the pit of dread dwindles further. He embraces this moment and knows eventually everything is going to be okay.

Short but somewhat sweet I hope! Tagging (no pressure): @jesuisici33 @fortheloveofbuddie @rogerzsteven @lemonzestywrites @evanbegins @buck-coded @devirnis @glorious-spoon @thekristen999 @spotsandsocks @hippolotamus @sunshinediaz @watchyourbuck @lover-of-mine @hoodie-buck @elvensorceress @gayedmundodiaz @giddyupbuck @jeeyuns @bekkachaos @buddierights @try-set-me-on-fire @rainbow-nerdss @thewolvesof1998 @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @eddiiediaz @honestlydarkprincess @doublecheekeddiaz @prosperdemeter2 @transboybuckley @nmcggg @monsterrae1 @dangerpronebuddie @missmagooglie @thebloomingheather

[musings-of-a-rose]

I Never Stopped Loving You - Part 2

I Never Stopped Loving You - Part 2

Pairing: Joel Miller x OFC “Catie”

Word Count: 2500+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: I just had to write this part 2! It's all fluff and a little heart hurt. 

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❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Joel Miller Masterlist

<<I Never Stopped Loving You - Part 1

"I just found her. I don't want to lose her so soon." Joel’s eyes are round and worried, tears that he refuses to let fall are building up at the corners.

Benny, Poppy’s long time boyfriend, had finally come to us 4 months after Joel and Ellie moved into Jackson to ask our permission to marry her. It’s not tradition anymore, but Poppy had read it in a book and mentioned how romantic it sounded, so naturally, Benny had to do it. He’d asked Tommy too, as he had been like a father to Poppy since we moved here 10 years ago. I had said yes right away, but Joel clenched his jaw shut, a gruff “No” falling from his downturned lips. I smiled at Benny, telling him to give us some time and sending him out the door.

"She's 20, Joel."

"That's young"

"It is, but not for this world. Lives are cut short every day, so when 2 people love each other, they get married."

His broad shoulders slump, slightly defeated. "... I just got here."

"She's not going anywhere, Joel. Just a few houses down."

His jaw clenches, thoughts racing behind his brown eyes.

"What about this Benny guy?"

"He's a sweet kid. Too much energy to know what to do with, but he loves our daughter more than himself. You know he technically already asked her to marry him."

Joel’s eyes snap to mine. "He what? After making that big of a fuss of asking us-"

"When we first moved here. Poppy was 10, nearly 11 and she had never been around other kids, let alone attend actual school and have neighbors or other people around. Her whole life had been Lucia and I. Benny introduced himself the first day and they became fast friends. I think it was that first week he asked her to marry him."

"What did she say?"

"She laughed and said 'I'm 10. What do I wanna get married for?'"

"Good for her." 

"I think there was a bit about "stinky boys" too. But that didn't deter him. They were inseparable. And a few years later, they started dating. I wasn't surprised but she was. And they've been together ever since."

"She loves him?"

"So much. As much as I love you."

HIs face softens, but the scowl remains, one tear betraying him by slowly falling down his cheek. I sit next to him on the couch, placing my hand on his thigh. I don’t say anything, waiting for him to speak.

“I only just found out I had another…I have a daughter. I can’t lose her too.”

I place my hand on his cheek, gently turning his face to mine. I swipe my thumb across his cheek to wipe away a tear, stubble softly scraping my skin as his watery eyes find mine.

“You will never lose her, Joel. She never thought in a million years she would ever meet you. I never-” a lump rises in my throat and I swallow hard “-she has been up your ass these last 4 months for a reason. She loves you, Joel. She’s not going to leave you. Just move a few doors down.”

—----

“I don’t understand why, Uncle Tommy! He knows I love Benny and he loves me.”

Tommy tosses some hay into the stall in front of him before turning to face his niece. 

“He’ll come around, don’t worry Pop.”

“I don’t know…he seemed pretty set on saying no. Ugh, and we had this whole thing planned out. I never planned for dad saying no.”

Tommy moves to the next horse stall, repeating the action. “Joel would want to know Benny and he doesn’t. He only just got here-”

“He’s been here for 4 months, Uncle Tommy.”

“Yeah, but he’s spent most of the time with you and your mom. As he should.”

Poppy studies her uncle’s form. “He could’ve just said yes. I mean, Benny and I have been together for forever, but I guess dad is bent on not supporting me.”

Tommy drops the last bit of hay in the stall, hand hesitating over the next bit of hay he’ll have to put down. 

“He only just got you, Pop.”

Poppy blows a raspberry. “I’m not going anywhere. Just a few houses down.”

A look washes over Tommy’s face and Poppy sees him fighting back tears.

“It’s different for him. He gets another chance with you.” It’s quiet when Tommy speaks, but he may as well have been yelling. Poppy’s eyes grow wide and she sits there silent for a few moments.

“Sarah.”

Tommy nods, his eyes coming present from the flashback that he had been on. “Sarah.”

Poppy lets out a puff of air. “Guess I’m the stubborn ass, huh?”

Tommy smiles and nudges her shoulder with his. “You come by it honestly.”

—----

The front door opens, Poppy walking in the kitchen shortly after. 

“Hey mom.”

“Hey Pop.”

“Is dad home?”

“He is. He’s upstairs. Everything ok?”

Poppy nods. “Yeah.”

Poppy heads upstairs, pausing at the door to her parent’s room before she knocks.

“Dinner ready?”

“It’s me.”

“Oh, Pop. Uh, come on in.”

Poppy enters the room and sees Joel standing in front of the mirror, hair slicked back from the water from his shower. Joel opens his mouth to speak but before he can, Poppy crosses the room and throws her arms around him, squeezing a little. Joel hesitates, momentarily caught off guard by the abrupt display of affection, before wrapping his arms around her and hugging her back.

“I’m not leaving, dad.”

Joel’s grip stiffens slightly before pulling back. “What?”

Poppy looks up at him, love pouring out of her gaze. “Benny has a house for us just a few doors down. I’m not leaving. I only just got you."

Joel is quiet for several moments. “You had Uncle Tommy.”

“I did. But he’s not my dad. You are.”

Joel chokes back tears as he stares into his daughter’s eyes, sad for the years he missed watching her grow. 

“Do you love him?”

Poppy smiles. “I do.”

“And does he love you?”

She smiles wider. “He does. He really does, daddy.”

Joel’s jaw clenches, his eyes looking off for a few moments before looking at his daughter.

“Alright, then.”

Poppy’s entire face lights up. “Really? Oh, dad I-”

“Just remind him I’m a really good shot. And so is Uncle Tommy.”

“Psshh, have you seen mom shoot? Benny should be worried about her. Why do you think he sucks up to her?”

Joel chuckles. “As he should.”

—----

Weddings in Jackson are a big event, everyone in town chipping in to help with everything, from decorating to cooking, to making Poppy’s dress. It’s something everyone looks forward to.

Joel stands in the living room, waiting for his daughter to come down the stairs. His hands flex at his sides and he shifts his weight nervously. He glances up at the top of the stairs and his breath catches in his throat, tears immediately welling in the corners of his eyes. She's the spitting image of her mother.

Poppy has on a beautiful white dress, hand-sewn by the seamstress in town. It's floor length, a white pattern of poppies is embroidered into the dress. Her hair is twisted and braided up, whisps framing her face. She wobbles slightly at the top of the stairs, the heels her friend had someone found clicking on each wooden step as she descends. When she reaches the bottom, she turns to Joel, a smile wife on her face. 

"Well, dad? Do I look ok?"

"You-" Joel let's out a breath, a smile tugging up the corners of his mouth "-you're absolutely beautiful." 

Tears well in her eyes now. "Thanks, dad."

Joel offers her his arm and it's then he notices the butterfly clip in her hair, which isn't really her style. 

"Butterfly?" He asks, eyebrows raised in question. 

"Oh. Yeah. For Sarah. I wanted a piece of her with me today and mom said she really liked butterflies. This was all I could find. Oh, and Uncle Tommy gave me this."

She pulls out a small photograph, handing it to Joel. He looks down at it and his jaw slams shut, willing his tears to not fall. 

Staring up at him, was Sarah, clad in her soccer uniform, a trophy in her hand and Joel standing proudly behind her. He stares at it for several moments before Poppy reaches out, gently taking the photo and sliding it into his coat pocket. 

"Now she's definitely with us."

Joel pulls Poppy in, hugging her tightly, trying to hide the tears that had fallen from his eyes. 

"It's perfect. She would've loved that."

Poppy hugs her dad back, hiding her own tears. They embrace for a few moments before hearing the music start outside that was their cue to head out the door. Joel pulls back, trying to covertly wipe the tears off his face while his daughter does the same. He offers her his arm again and Poppy takes it, lacing her arm in his. 

"Don't let me fall, dad."

"Never. I got you, baby girl."

Joel had faced clickers and much worse. But giving his daughter away that he'd only just met was one of the hardest things he'd had to do. Even Joel had to admit that Benny was perfect for her and loved her fiercely. They were a perfect match. 

When he danced with Poppy during the father daughter dance, he could almost picture Sarah, spinning around and laughing as he danced with her too. He knew that she would have loved Poppy.

—---

A couple months after the wedding, Poppy and Benny came over for dinner. We usually had dinner together once a week, Ellie sliding right into our family. She's hilarious and spunky and the thought of Joel having to escort her across the country makes me laugh. 

After dinner, Ellie takes off with Dina and the rest of us settle on the couches. Joel offers everyone a drink, even Benny, whom he'd grown fond of over the last few months. Although he'd never admit it. 

Poppy takes the glass and holds it, swirling around the contents as she stares at it. 

"Actually, Dad…mom… I, well, we want to talk to you." 

"I told you, my knees aren't what they used to be. Tommy said he'd help with the roof-"

"No. That's…that's not it." Joel sits next to her and the couch and she turns to face him, mouth opening and closing as if she's trying to figure out how to say something. She takes Joel's hand and squeezes it, looking up at him with her eyes that she inherited from him.

"Dad…I'm pregnant."

"Oh sweetie!" I'm on my feet, crossing the room and throwing my arms around her. "I'm so excited for you! How are you feeling? Is the morning sickness OK? I can't remember how it was with you because of what was happening but I do remember vomiting a lot. Have you gone to Lucia yet? Oh and-"

"Mom, chill. I'm only 6 or 7 weeks along." The smile she gave me falters when she looks back at Joel, who hadn't moved, a hard look on his face. 

"Dad? Did you hear what I said?"

Benny shifts in his seat, looking anywhere but at Joel, ready to run if he made a move. 

"Dad?" Poppy sits back down, taking his hands again. "You're going to be a grandpa." 

That broke him. 

"A…grandpa?"

Poppy smiles softly. "Yeah. I mean we won't know if it's a boy or girl until it's born, but if it's a boy, we're naming it Will after Benny's brother. He died a few years after…everything. And if it's a girl…well, we wondered if it would be ok to name her Sarah."

Joel's eyes are wide, big and brown and they stare into his daughter's. 

"You'd want to name her Sarah?"

"Yeah. Only if that's ok-"

"I would love that. She would've loved that." He blinks rapidly, ridding his eyes of the tears that had gathered. 

"A grandpa. Me. I never thought I'd…" He lets out a laugh, hugging his daughter tightly and shaking Benny's nervous hand.

—----

Several months later, Joel is by his daughter's side at her request, her small hand in his as she squeezes it through another contraction.

"Ok, one more push, Pop, and this baby will be here." Lucia gets ready and nods at Joel and Benny. 

"One more push, sweetheart, and we can finally hold our baby." Benny rubs her back up and down, applying pressure to her hips to help alleviate the pain, just as the midwife had shown him. 

"I can't! It's too hard!" 

Joel leans in, getting level with her face as she rocks back and forth slightly, on all fours.

"I won't pretend this isn't hard as shit. But if it's one thing I do know is that you're as tough as your momma. Probably tougher. And I know you can do this. You got this, baby girl. You've got this." Joel squeezes her hand and she nods, taking a deep breath. 

One more push, and their daughter Sarah was born, screaming loudly at the world. 

—-

We stayed with them that first night, in case they needed anything at their request. It's late, about 3am or so and I hear the floorboards creaking outside our door. I glance over and see that Joel isn't next to me, so I quietly get up and make my way out of the door. Peeking into Poppy and Benny's room, I see them both sound asleep on the bed, but no Sarah. I head downstairs to the living room, but stop just short of the doorway, listening as Joel's voice carries to me, the song he had been singing ending.

"You know, I wanted to be a singer in another life. Play guitar and all that. I'll teach you someday."

He hums a little tune to Sarah and I poke my head around the corner, taking in the scene in front of me. Joel is standing, bouncing his arms and swaying side to side, all gentle movements as he stares down and the bundle of blankets in his arms, Sarah's small face poking out from between the folds. 

"Your aunt would've just melted over you. She loved babies. Was always askin' me when me and your grandma were gonna have one. I'll tell you all about her one day." He pauses, clenching his jaw in an attempt to hold back tears. 

"I never knew about your mom until she was already grown. But I promise, I will always be here for you." 

Sarah looks so small in his arms, his broad shoulders looking impossibly large as he holds her tiny body to him, smiling down at her as she continues to sleep. 

"I got you, baby girl."

—----

A Second Chance (a one shot written by @theewokingdead )>>

General Taglist:

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[fandxmslxt69]

*cha chas in*

Ok...let's do some book recs, since I'm on a book kick!

Tropes I love-

Arranged Marriage

Grumpy x Sunshine

And There was One (1) Bed!!

He Falls Harder

Not a trope, but gorgeous writing

Things that give me the ick in books, including triggers: female protagonists who aren't like other girls , cheating (there are a few rare exceptions like White Horse, Black Nights by Evie Marceau, either way, if the main couple cheats on or with each other especially if one party already has a loving supportive partner/spouse, I will burn the book down and rate it one star), suicide, when cats or dogs die.

HI :DDDD

im FINALLY getting out of the reading slump so LETS DO THIS EEEE!!!

first of all LOOOOOOOOOVE the tropes you're into!!! those are my prime ones too!!!

My first rec would be any Ana Huang book - she's a well known romance author and her books are what really got me into romance!!!!! For specific tropes like marriage of convenience/fake dating & grump x sunshine, I would mostly suggest:

Twisted Lies. Fake dating. Billionaire. TW: there's a subplot of the female lead being stalked, the male lead is...of a questionable moral ground lmao.

King of Wrath (its her second series). MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE. grump and sunshine hehehe <33 (HE'S SOOOO GRUMPY IT MAKES ME FERAL???) again, billionaires. looots of "dont touch my wife >:(" hot sex is a must in all Ana Huang books and she DEFINITELY delivers in this one???? again, morally questionable male lead

There's also Lauren Asher who has 2 finished series, and is currently one book (with the second coming SO SOON) into her third!!! Her first series is an F1 romance series so if you're into that, def check it out. but for the tropes you like, I would go for:

Terms and Conditions (book 2 of the Dreamland Billionaire series). Marriage of convenience. you cannot get more grump x sunshine than this one!!!!! DONT TOUCH MY WIFEEEEEEEEEEEE. so so so good and juicy and its soooo freaking!!! i cant describe it!!! but its so beautiful and the characters are amazing and the romance is just PEAKKK.

if you're into something more dark (like...dark.) then:

Twisted by Emily McIntire: first of all ALL her books are DELICIOUS - this book specifically is part of her Never After series, which is currently 5 books (with the 6th on the way!!) based on Disney/Fairy Tale stories, but its like...what if the villain got the girl??yknow??? its NOT retellings, it just uses concepts and vibes! For instance, Twisted is Aladdin "based", using concepts like the magic lamp, character dynamics and overall vibes!! its a DARK. i must make it clear, DARK!!! marriage of convenience enemies (toxic kind) to lovers vibe. its DARK. so the romance is a little messed up but its SO FLIPPING GOOOOOD

All her books are great if you want to look into them. 10/10 10/10

ONE BED TROPES???

The American Roommate Experiment by Elena Armas. She does have a book before that but its not very good so ignore it. THIS ONE. THIIIIIIS ONE!!!!!!! its not fake dating...EXACTLY....BUT. our lead girl wrote a hit romance novel (under a fake name) and is CERTAIN she'll only ever be a one hit wonder bc she cant seem to write a second one to secure herself a contract deal!!! her best friend's cousin needs to crash somewhere and so she offers her place (actually her best friend's place bc her place is damaged or smth) turns out this cousin happens to be the guy who was SUPPOSED to be her date to her best friend's wedding!!!!! but he ditched. anyway they get into an arrangement where she lets him stay with her, he helps her to "rekindle the flame" and get back into touch with romance via....practice dates (WE ALL KNOW HOW THOSE GO???) anyway SOOOO CUTE SOOO FLUFFY hot smut, 10/10 5 star book. one bed trope bc they. share a bed.

i need to note that in all the previously mentioned books, he ALWAYS falls harder. ALWAYS. and i love most of these bc the female leads are SO relatable (delusional (like me), know a gorgeous man when they see one, funny as hell)

anyway yeah thats what i've got!!! all those authors are AMAZING and have books to satisfy any trope you are hungry for, so if you pick up any of these recs and actually enjoy them, i hope you read more of their work <333

[charcuteriecrab]

Hihi again!!!! I hope it’s not rude of me to request a second fic, but I saw your Chreon requests were still open and I had an idea; maybe Leon having to carry Chris bridal-style for whatever reason???? Or vice versa?? (Just the image of Leon carrying giant-muscles-Chris Redfield is hilarious to me AHXNDHSNDH) like maybe one of thems hurt, or they’re just doing it for fun etc etc??

Hi @wisecrackingeric-2 !! I saw this request and immediately knew I had to write it. I couldn't settle on one idea though, so I turned it into a 3+1! Three times Chris carried Leon and one time Leon carried Chris. I hope you like it :)

in my dreams, we're far away from here (Part 1)

A Resident Evil fic request

Rating: M

Contains: blood, strong language, gore, injury

Tags: Chreon, Major Character Injury, Romance, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 2072

Part 1/5 Next ->

1.

Chris had been home alone from a mission for about three days, getting ready to head to sleep as it was 1 am, when Leon finally came home, bags under his eyes and posture visibly drooping with exhaustion. The man stepped through the door, keys jingling, all but dropping his things to the floor, and slumped onto the couch with a groan. At first, Chris was worried that his boyfriend was injured and scanned his body thoroughly, sighing with relief when he didn’t see any blood. Not dying then, just tired.

Kneeling at the edge of the black-stained leather couch they had bought only a few weeks ago, Chris leaned closer to the man, eyeing the splotchy bruises around his collarbone and the bottom part of his neck. “Hey, Leon. You okay?” He spoke softly, not wanting to spook him. He was still worried something was wrong. He didn’t greet him when entering.

Leon’s eyes, previously closed, fluttered open and he groaned, gaze glazed over. “...Chris?” His hands rose to his face and he rubbed his palms deep into his sockets. Chris didn’t like how confused Leon was to see him.

He decided he needed to know for sure whether or not he was injured so he could put the man to bed as soon as possible. “There any injuries I need to know about, Lee?” He rubbed a hand across Leon’s knee, the textured jeans sending tingles through his fingers. 

The touch seemed to break his far-away gaze and Leon sniffed in, posture stiffening. “No. Nothing life-threatening.”

Chris fought the urge to grit his teeth. Leon hid his injuries so easily, and that was something Chris was trying to change. He assumed it was a habit he gained from being sent on so many solo missions. If he wasn’t actively dying, he was still expected to keep going. “Can you tell me anyway?” he said softly, rubbing a thumb across his knee again.

Leon seemed to deflate, his eye-bags somehow darkening. “Got some bruised ribs…my collarbone’s all beat up.” His eyelids fell to half-mast and he leaned further into the couch cushions. “...got thrown into a wall again.” His eyes closed, and Chris brushed his fingers against Leon’s leg again to comfort him. He was proud he was sharing his injuries. “It hurts,” Leon exhaled painfully, then not a moment later his expression went slack, his face turning soft.

Chris was glad to hear that was the worst of his injuries but was pissed that someone hurt him this badly. It infuriated him that the DSO constantly sent him on solo missions. He should at least have a partner. Someone to have his back other than Hunnigan. Then maybe he would stop coming home to Chris so battered.

Deciding to have a conversation with Leon later about it, he carefully scooped his passed-out boyfriend into his arms bridal-style, wary of his bruises, and carried him to their room. Chris laid him out gently, smiling warmly when his hair flopped into his face. He was so cute when asleep. 

Removing his many layers of clothing, Chris then took the time to bandage what he could, focusing on the man’s ribs. Dark purple and sickly yellow bruises covered much of his torso and Chris swore he saw what looked to be a large handprint on his right ribcage. Tyrant size. He nearly growled but stopped himself. Getting angry would do nothing at the moment, but these marks implied a close shave with death. It would have taken only a little more pressure to crush Leon’s rib cage.

Once Leon was bandaged as much as Chris could, he slipped under the sheets himself, cuddling closer into his warmth before pulling the man close to his chest protectively. He would worry about the DSO later. For now, he relished the fact that his boyfriend came back to him alive.

Leon hummed, eyes fluttering open again. "Chris?"

Chris placed a kiss on his temple, letting it linger. "I'm here." He pressed his face against the back of Leon's neck and sighed. It must have been days since Leon slept if he was this out of it. "How long’s it been since you slept?"

Another hum. "I don't remember…how many days was I gone?"

"About four days, Lee."

The man sighed, all the air in his lung expelling in one exhalation. "Probably that long then."

Chris made a sound of discontent and pulled Leon closer, the man snuggling into the warmth. He must have been fighting for his life for at least that long if he didn't allow himself to sleep. The damage underneath the blankets supported the idea. And he was all alone, having to fight for four days straight without any backup.

"We'll talk about it once you get some sleep," he murmured, and Leon nodded slightly. Chris could feel the tension leave him as he finally let himself relax fully, leaning back against Chris.

"Thank you," he whispered, voice wavering.

Chris responded with another kiss on his back. He would always be a shoulder for Leon to lean on, no matter what. And one day, he was going to convince the DSO to give him a partner for future missions, no matter what it took.

2.

“You're being unreasonable."

"No, I think you're the unreasonable one."

"It's a blizzard outside! You would freeze before you got there," Chris exclaimed, gesturing wildly out the window, heavy snow flurries flying past the glass. It was completely white out there.

Leon was attempting to convince Chris that he could walk to the convenience store down the road to buy more of his favorite yogurt without freezing to death or slipping on the ice and hurting himself, and Chris wasn't budging. The news said to stay in unless it was an emergency, and Leon always ran cold anyway.

"That's a risk I'm willing to take."

"Nope. Not happening."

Leon gave him the biggest pout Chris had ever seen the man give, crossing his arms and staring him down. He had his coat in hand, and winter gloves ready to be put on in his other. Chris shook his head, smiling at his antics. "I'm not letting you freeze."

"And how are you going to stop me?"

In an instant, Chris launched himself to his feet, grabbing Leon and throwing him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, the man yelping in surprise and his winter gear falling to the floor.

"Chris! Put me down. I need my yogurt!"

"We'll go together once the blizzard dies down." He walked into the living room and plopped Leon onto the couch, his boyfriend letting out an "oof” at the impact and staring at him wide-eyed, mouth agape. "For now, we are going to cuddle and watch a movie. Unless you don't want to hang out with your loving boyfriend." He raised his eyebrows.

Leon sighed heavily, expression going wistful. "Fine," he drawled, "but you owe me a lot of yogurt."

Chris laughed. "Alright, I promise we’ll get you as much yogurt as you want later."

Moving himself off his back, Leon grabbed a blanket from the arm of the couch and wrapped himself in it as Chris sat down, grabbing the remote. They ended up watching the first and second ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ movies, the storm slowly dying off as they watched, unaware of the peaceful snow falling from the sky. Chris always enjoyed those movies, and he knew that Leon liked them too. He could even hear the man listening to the soundtrack sometimes when he was cleaning.

The afternoon stretched into night, the winter day darkening earlier than normal and casting their apartment in warm light as the sun fell away. The window turned dark as the end credits played and Chris yawned, looking down at Leon with a smile. He had fallen asleep, his mouth slightly open, a little drool falling out of the corner. He was absolutely adorable.

He would move him later, for now, he laid his head on Leon's, closing his eyes contently. He wished they could stay like this forever. Maybe he could pretend they didn’t have dangerous jobs, at least for tonight. He thought they deserved at least that.

3.

It had been a week since Chris last saw his boyfriend and he was getting restless. His team even picked up on it, giving him weird looks and telling him he was “acting strange”.

He just couldn’t get Leon out of his head. Or more specifically, Leon naked underneath him in bed.

The man was the most gorgeous person he had ever laid eyes on. Ever since he met him, Chris had to fight to keep his eyes off him. And now that he was his, he almost couldn’t believe it. They had been dating for a few months at this point but it felt like they had known each other their whole lives. Well, he guessed they kinda had, and if circumstances were different, they probably would have worked together at the RPD, a fact he thought about often.

Leon was on break and at home, waiting for Chris to come back, and he was so excited to see him. He missed him so much. He knew rationally he wasn’t gone that long but every second away from Leon made his heart hurt in a way he never knew it could.

The ride home was a blur and soon he was pulling up to their apartment complex. He had texted Leon when had gotten off the plane so he knew he was coming. Chris went in the elevator up to their floor and to their loft, not bothering to knock, and stepped inside, the latch sliding open with a click.

Chris was immediately hit with the smell of something Italian, the aroma permeating the air and enveloping him warmly. Gaze moving to the kitchen, he spotted Leon—

The man was cooking something in a skillet and a pot of boiling water and noodles sat on the burner to his left. His hair, not as dark anymore as he hadn’t dyed it in a while, shone brightly in the warm kitchen lighting. He was smiling softly to himself before turning to the door, his grin widening when he saw Chris standing there.

“Chris!” Leon beamed, giving whatever was in the skillet another stir and turning off the burner before rushing over to him and enveloping him in a hug, and Chris hugged back even tighter, breathing in Leon’s familiar scent, Italian spices unable to mask it. 

God, he missed this. “I missed you.”

“It’s only been a week,” Leon said, but he could tell the man was relieved to see him, his voice betraying him. He pulled away slightly and looked into Chris’s eyes.

“I know, but still. It was too long.” Chris cupped Leon’s face and the man leaned into the touch. 

He pulled him close and placed a kiss on his lips, Leon moaning into his mouth. Chris gripped his hair with both hands, deepening the kiss. His boyfriend responded by in turn and his hands started groping Chris’s back, fingers scratching to find something to hold onto. 

“Chris,” he whined, voice husky, and Chris could feel his arousal excite as Leon sang his name.

He pulled away slightly, Leon whining at the loss of connection, before yelping as Chris picked him up and placed him on the kitchen counter, kissing him again. Leon placed his hands around his neck just as Chris grabbed tightly onto Leon’s loose t-shirt, warmth pooling in his abdomen. Chris groaned as Leon pushed in his tongue and both started to pant, arousal clear in their sweat-beaded faces.

They slowed down, placing more chaste kisses on each other’s lips, sucking in breaths before leaning against each other.

“How about we continue this in the bedroom after we eat? I would hate for our dinner to go cold.” Leon eventually said.

Chris found himself laughing. “I guess you’re right. I’m excited to see what my awesome boyfriend cooked up for us.” He placed a kiss on his now-exposed neck, sucking a little.

He moaned. “Keep this up and I won’t be able to contain myself long enough to finish cooking, much less eat it.” He pushed himself off the counter, placing another kiss on Chris’s lips. “Go set up the table or something while I finish up.”

“You got it, boss,” he laughed.

| Next-> |

[golden-fairylights]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @espithewarlock and @your-littlesecret for atgging me to answer these 20 questions. ❤️

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

14 at the moment

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

109,283

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I hav eonly written Formula 1 RPF for now, but who knows what the future brings. For now there is no other fandom I am as invested in though.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

no take backs (Lasdoscar)

the start of the rest of our lives (Landoscar)

to the love that you share (Landoscar)

The one where Lando is calling Carlos (Carlando and the first fic I've ever posted)

all I ever wanted (Piarles)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I really try to but I'm so bad at it. So, I'm sorry if anyone is still missing an answer, I'll get to it as soon as I have the mental capacity to formulate something that doesn't sound indifferent (because I promise I am truely not, I'm just really bad at formulating it).

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well, I think that will have to be A graveyard dance.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I have no clue to be honest. All of my fics, except 'A graveyard dance', have a happy ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not unitl now and I hope it stays that way. I truely don't understand how someone can take time out of their day to leave hate on something they didn't like.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've written two different smut fics, one of them is already posted, the other one is deep in my finished works folder and I don't know if I'll ever post it.

But it's both kinky, never without concent though. In both of the fics they are in relationships and have previously talked about what they are doing. Oh and then I guess there are also some scenes in my longer fics.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think I have.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I didn't

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Actually I have. They are only my top three most liked fics, so thank you again Kit for writing with me.😊I really think we should get back to that.

I've also started writing something together with Immy after we've both been in a bit of a slump. 🥰

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Piarles is definitely up there at the top, but Landoscar is there as well, even though I don't write that often.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I would say I'm good at finishing my wips but then the eight works I have in my wips foulder would probably come crowding me at night and won't let me sleep.

No but I've got a College fic that I started in Febuary and it's constantly growing. I started it as a oneshot and it just grew from there. I don't have a plan for it and I don't know where it's going to go. I don't even know an end for it so, I'd say that one for now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I have no clue to be honest. I have times where I'm kind of confident in what I write and then there are times where I hate every single word. I think that I can just start writing without planing it out is kind of a strength, right? But then that has also been a problem for me at some point, but i guess thats my answer for now.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Similar to the one before, I don't know. I feel like I've not written for long enough to really figure all of that out.

It somehow depends on what I am writing and on my day in general I think. For example, on some days I love writing dialogue and on other days I hate it and everything feels wrong.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

As long as I can understand what the person in the fic is trying to say I'm okay with it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Forumla 1 RPF

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I like most of the fics I've posted so far but A graveyard dance holds a special place in my heart. I can't even explain why but it just felt right while I wrote it.

Thank you again for tagging me, it's been so much fun answering those questions.

I don't have any clue who has already answered these so I'm tagging @gaslybottoms @hrhgeorgerussell @leclercenjoyer @chaesonghwas and anyone else who wants to participate. ❤️

[meadow-selfship]

Hans x Ursula (s/i)

Day 1, 2, 3 for Self-indulgent September (first meeting, museum date (if you squint), Autumn weather/rainy day)

Like many of my 'better' works, this is vaguely inspired by a dream I had that I heavily adapted into this piece.

Pairing: Hans Gruber x Ursula (s/i)

Wordcount: 1660

Setting: a very rainy New Year's Eve.

Dividers by cafekitsune

The pouring rain strained our vision, as we ran over the slippery asphalt. My brother, Abel, followed close behind me. Even though we tried avoiding puddles, our shoes were wet and soggy already.

“In there, the museum looks like it’s still open,” I called over my shoulder. We reached the doors and didn’t hesitate for a single moment, before we barrelled in. The light in the lobby was still on, a clerk sat bored behind the monitors, glancing up from his crossword puzzle. The desk was right by the door, but just past the desk was a little area with seats. It reminded of a doctor’s waiting room with the magazines on the coffee table and the white walls.

Abel sighed and slumped against the door. We dripped all over the door mat, from coat to Abel’s jeans to my wool skirt – everything was soaked through. I wiped at my face, trying to avoid messing up my make-up.

“Good evening,” the clerk greeted and I walked a little closer.

“Hello. Do you mind if we stay here and try to dry up a bit? I know it’s late…” I said.

“Nah, go ahead,” he said with a wave of his hand. “The New Year’s party is going on upstairs so we aren’t closing anytime soon.”

“Thank you,” I said with a nod and squeezed the water from the hem of my wool skirt. Disgusting. Boisterous noises came from upstairs; yelling, laughter, people popping small fireworks. Abel and I exchanged a look.

“Sounds like quite the party,” Abel said.

The clerk shifted. “Sure is.”

“Let’s dry off in the bathroom,” I said to Abel.

“Down the hall to the right,” said the clerk and we went on our way.

“Can’t believe it’s still not stopped raining,” said Abel, nudging my knee with his foot. We sat on the couch in the museum lobby, staring restlessly outside. We worked our way through the art magazines that were strewn about the coffee table, but nothing could quell our unease. At some point, the party upstairs quieted down inexplicably, but no one came down to leave. We’d taken our shoes, gloves and coats off and left them on the radiator, hoping they would dry soon. My hair was still dry, thanks to my thick fake fur hat, that now laid sadly next to the gloves, looking something like a deflated wet rat.

“Can I write on this? It’s yesterday’s paper,” I held the paper up.

“Go right ahead,” the man said, hiding a strange tenseness by pretending not to be interested. Bored out of my mind, I circled the fun words, doing as I often do on the train; to see if there is a hidden poem in the front page article.

I turned to Abel. “It’s already half past eight. You were meeting some friends at ten, right?”

The clerk glanced up, something uncharacteristically calculating in his eyes, for a museum desk clerk. Something felt off. We’d better get going soon.

“Yeah. There’s still time. What are you doing?”

“Black out poem.” I nudged the paper to him. “Your turn. Just circle words or connect them.”

He blinked at me. “Mom and dad should’ve never let you study art.”

I laughed. “I assure you I would’ve been equally pretentious even without the education.”

A static buzz made us look to the desk, where the clerk answered a walkie-talkie.

A walkie-talkie is not something front-office workers usually have in a museum, is it? Something was definitely wrong. I pulled the newspaper towards me and penned a quick ‘er is iets mis’ on it. Abel nodded, mirroring my worried expression. We got up, trying to not let our alarmed expressions show.

"You're leaving?" asked the clerk. 

"Yeah, if the rain isn't letting up anyway, we better get home and dry up there," I said, going for my shoes. Ew, still soaked. Cold, too, and I hoped my toes would recover quickly once at home. Not that it mattered now, since it was still coming down in buckets and we'd be soaked through even if our clothes were dry.

"Gross," said Abel, his lip curling with the feeling of it as he pulled the still wet shoe over his socks. Before we could get our coats on, a small group of men came down the stairs. They walked quickly, with purposeful strides, The one who came down first wore an impeccable suit, was he the museum director? Whether he was or wasn't, Abel and me backed away to the door. I grabbed my coat over my arm and held my hat, same as Abel.

"There was only one thing I asked of you, Johan. It was to keep people out," said the one in the suit. With the way he strode towards the clerk, it looked like he wanted to hurt the man. We should've listened to our gut sooner.

I pushed against the door, and instead of it giving way, it made a beeping noise and stayed shut. The eyes of the men from upstairs fell on us. Suddenly it was like I was a kid caught with my hand in the cookie jar, and I stared back at them with unease. The one in the suit, the scariest one, turned around, and our eyes locked. His expression changed.

"See, the alarm was on, I swear-"

"Johan," he drawled, "you didn't say we had such a lovely guest."

He made a jovial gesture, and came closer. "How rude of me not to introduce myself." 

His sudden pleasantness threw me off. He extended his hand, and the way he did it made me take it, despite the strangeness of the situation. "Hans Gruber. And you? Hiding from the rain?"

"Ursula," I said, trying to apply equal pressure to the handshake. "Yes, we're very sorry for intruding. We just came by here from work, and..."

His touch lingered, warm. His smile was the most charming one I've ever seen. "And this is your..?" He gestured to Abel.

"Abel," he said, reaching out to shake his hand. "We're siblings."

Hans nodded, still smiling, as something calculating crept in his gaze. "Good, good. Pleasure to make your acquaintance. Actually, why don't you stay a little while longer? We are just wrapping up here. How about, after that, I'll take you home?"

It didn't feel much like a question. His eyes lingered like his touch did. When Hans turned around, his demeanour changed again. A business man.

"Johan, I'll deal with you later. Karl; get the car. Fritz, Tony; get the bags from upstairs."

They did as he said, dispersing quick and without fuss. One thing is certain; Hans is not the museum director.

Abel and I exchanged a confused glance. I tried the door again, muttering a mild curse when it didn't still didn't open. Before I could ask if this was a good idea, Hans turned back, coming closer now. 

"It's really no trouble for us to walk, we wouldn't want to inconvenience you."

"You're not from here, are you?" Hans ignored my statements to weasel our way out the door. His hand rested on my shoulder, as he directed us away from the exit and towards the elevators. "When I first came here, it was those times when strangers showed great kindness that made me feel welcome. Let me extend that same kindness to you, today."

"Sir, it's New Year's Eve, surely you have something better to do."

"Oh, Liebling, just call me Hans." His hand slipped to my back now, pressing on insistently enough to make it awkward to linger. "Isn't that even better? A festive mood during a festive time. How are you celebrating?"

Even though Abel followed by my side, it felt like Hans addressed only me. We reached the elevators and Hans stepped forward, pressed buttons, no matter that we didn't agree to come with at all. Abel glanced back at the door. I shrugged at him.

"Abel is going to see some friends later," I said, shifting the focus to him. "They're going into the city, find a good spot to watch the fireworks."

"How nice," he said. The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Hans went in first. He expected us to follow, but more so than that, it felt like he didn't even consider it a possibility that we wouldn't. We stepped in and the doors closed. "And you, Liebling?" 

Me, Liebling... "Hmm, watch fireworks from my window and go to bed on time. I'm not such a fan of the loud and the-" I gestured with my arms, "the boisterous."

Hans looked at me for a long moment, no judgement in his eyes, only curiosity and an unexpected fondness. "Then join me in doing the same. My hotel room has an incredible view." Where someone else saying the same thing, would have been a gaud-ish boast, it wasn't with him. His voice was soft, the quietness in which he said it made my heart stir. Would he not be celebrating with those men from before? Or with friends of his own? Not even a wife? If he’s staying at a hotel room, he could be far from home… Just like me.

I kept silence, not breaking eye contact. The moment lasted like that, us staring at each other, Hans' request hanging in the air between us. If we kept it up like this, I wouldn’t need to say anything at all. He could see it all, written on my face, just for him to read – that’s what it felt like. The elevator dinged. Despite having, once again, heard no ‘yes’, Hans led us to the car. 

"Bring Abel home first," I said. "Then we can talk."

Hans’ smile was brighter than even the most colourful fireworks.

[mrs-steve-harrington]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @elder-flower <3 Thank you for tagging me! You're awesome and I really enjoyed reading all your answers. I hope that it helped remind you that you ARE a writer (and a good one at that) despite the creative slump at the moment.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

205 (204 are currently visible, one is waiting for an exchange to reveal)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

685,919

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Stranger Things and The Babysitter and hoping to get back into more Free Guy after taking an anonymous comment a little too personally to the effect of no longer being able to write that fandom without shame

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

a place where I feel at home (Stranger Things) (34,455 words) Day Four: Green With Envy (Stranger Things) (2,825 words) it's (not) just food (Stranger Things) (3,016 words) didn't mean to be too much (Stranger Things) (3,663 words) Mystery Spot Misunderstanding (Supernatural) (23,850 words)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! For one, I really do appreciate anyone taking the time to let me know they enjoyed my fic, however they choose to express that (keysmashes, emojis, "I liked this", etc all make me smile). For another, I know a lot of people won't comment at all if they see that the comments don't get replies. Alas, I am human and often forget. Recently I've replied to some comments years after they were left. I should do another replies sprint soon...

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably this one: Trust (Free Guy (2021)) (7,755 words) It's a non-con/abusive relationship fic and the end has Keys sort of realizing just how fucked up everything is and realizing he can't even really remember his old friends' faces and yeah. Angsty!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm, I've got quite a few happy endings under my belt despite how difficult they are... Wow this was so hard I had to consult a friend. I have fewer happy endings than originally thought. Going with this one, though! a place where I feel at home (Stranger Things) (34,455 words)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not on them, no, which sort of surprises me considering what I've posted the last year or more. But also I'm blocked by like half of the fandom so I imagine I wouldn't see much of it myself anyway

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! One of my goals a few years ago was to get more comfortable writing it and I like to think I've managed that. I've even joined the smut4smut exchange multiple times now! As for what kind, um... Non-con is where I'm most comfortable, so quite a bit of that. But also surprisingly some totally consensual stuff, too. A lot more m/f these days, which is NOT easy when you are squicked by basically all the words for lady parts but I do my best to work around it. There's a sprinkling of m/m in there as well, though less so recently!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do! Not often, although I think of them a lot. It's not really "crazy", but I think it's a little more out there than my other posted one. can hardly feel the cold with you (1,808 words) It's a Stranger Things/Until Dawn crossover featuring Steve/Mike/Jessica because I hardcore ship Steve/Jessica and Jessica and Mike are soulmates so I couldn't leave him out.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I'm pretty sure my fics ended up on that one... Idk was it a Russian site? Some site was stealing a bunch of fics and I think I found some of mine there

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I can remember!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I started on one with @urisarang but never quite got past the first part. I'd still like to continue that fic someday but it's hard?? And I like to think our Free Guy series of fics set in the same universe should count!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

It's really hard to say. All time? I don't think I have one. Maybe a Harry Potter ship or two since that's the only fandom I go back to on a regular basis for reading. To write? I guess it's Stoncy. Feels hard to say for sure because I'm really bummed out about the fandom and season 4 and it's made it harder for me to enjoy writing them. But I still love them.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

More than I could list here. I have so many, I even found one I forgot existed at all the other day. But for this one, I'll say probably the WIP set after Steve and Nancy were stuck in the Entity's Realm (where they are in Dead by Daylight the game). They're home and safe but Steve is isolating himself because he and Nancy were sleeping together while trapped and he "knows" it never meant anything except finding comfort in the familiar so he needs to stay away so Nancy can be with Jonathan and her family. It also features them both having trouble remembering to eat bc eating wasn't necessary while they were trapped in the other universe. I just reread what I've got last night and love it. But I don't think I'll ever figure out how to continue or finish it :(

16. What are your writing strengths?

Introspection. I am most comfortable writing what's going on in someone's head and like to think I'm good at it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue, plot, action, anything that requires thought and/or effort.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't have an opinion, I guess? I don't write anything where it's come up before.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Supernatural!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Hmm, there are a couple that I really like. Favorite right this minute... Caught between two:

anything (anything) for you (Stranger Things (TV 2016)) (5,373 words)

It's a very self-indulgent stoncy fic where Steve is desperate enough to stay with Nancy that when he proposes that she date them both and she thinks he wants to also date Jonathan, he doesn't correct her. I know I wrote it but man, I love the angst of Steve forcing himself into situations he is super uncomfortable with. Dub-conning himself in a way both Nancy and Jonathan would be very upset about if they knew but for totally different reasons than Steve's convinced himself over.

the devil on my shoulder (The Babysitter (Movies - McG)) (2,740 words)

Years ago, I was determined to write as many words as possible for NaNo. I asked ppl on tumblr to send me prompts to write for them so I would have ideas to work from. This fic came from me taking the chance at tagging my plea with The Babysitter and I'm so glad they sent me the prompt because this might be the fic of mine that I have reread the most maybe aside from the one mentioned above. It started out as a fic where Bee encourages Cole to break the rules to manipulate him into being on her side, but it turned into something a little different than that. I don't know how to put it into words but I just really love it. (Too bad there is not much of a fandom out there for those movies haha)

Tagging: @stevethehousewife @urisarang @tkwritesdumbassassins @readythefanons

[eomma-jpeg]

Hey for the faad ask meme! 1, 2, 8, 26, 29, and 38!! Have a banger day my friend :33

Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

answered here !

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

i think i haven't really truly done enemies to lovers, because at first i tried to make ITM enemies to lovers but Milly can't make enemies LOL so it had to become the "he's mean to everyone except her" trope

i think i'd love to write a fantasy au. im a SUCKER for fantasy and i uhhhh have a My Hero Academia fantasy au just in my drive that i don't think i'll ever finish but MAYBE i can get myself to write a trigun one lolol

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

okay ! this is from chapter 31 (the most recent chapter as of today) of ITM... i talk about in the meadow so much im so sorry yall

Picking at the stir fry, Meryl let out a heavy sigh and slumped onto her elbows as soon as Milly left the room, “We need to do something.” Vash’s mouth was full, “Wha’ maes yo ‘ink we ‘an do a’y’ing?” Meryl just glared at him, a hint of disgust on her brow. He swallowed, “What makes you think we can do anything?” Sighing again, “I don’t know, but I just hate seeing Milly like this. She was so excited about the planting just a few days ago and now… now she seems kind of lifeless.” Vash nodded in agreement, “She was already stressed about the reunion, which thankfully seemed to mellow out thanks to you and Knives, but something's keeping them apart,” he set his fork down, “But what are we supposed to do, Meryl? Just ask what’s wrong?” “That normally works for me. Milly doesn’t like to bundle things up, except I guess when it came to Wolfwood,” Meryl confessed, “But even then, she eventually gave in.” Vash was silent as he internalized her words. Then, he said, “It’s hard for me to do that with Knives. He’s hesitant to share with me.” “How do you know?” she questioned. “Hmm?” “Have you tried to ask?” Vash opened his mouth to answer, but he just froze. Meryl chuckled. He relaxed, “Not explicitly.”  Meryl nearly rolled her eyes, “Vash, you should try asking him. I know you two are twins and all, but that connection can only go so far before you have to actually speak to each other.” Screwing his lips in displeasure, Vash said, “I’ve spoken to him before about…” he paused again, eyes nervously passing over her, “About our shared past, but I guess that was the last time we really spoke in depth.” Meryl couldn’t deny the satisfaction that filled her as he revealed a sliver of information about himself, “Then go right now. I’ll talk to Milly, and you should actually talk to Knives.” "But, Meryl-" "No 'but's!" she said with a point of her finger, "Just do! You're normally really good at that." Vash, in a last ditch effort, pulled out those round, watery eyes, staring at her and Meryl felt her footing slip. No, she told herself, not this time. She needed him to help her get to the bottom of whatever was going on between Knives and Milly, and some silly puppy dog eyes and pouting lips were not going to get her, no matter how cute. "Just because you know those eyes have worked in the past doesn't mean they will now," and Meryl pinched his cheek with vigor. Grimacing in pain as well as he could with only one cheek, Vash said, "That doesn't make any sense, Mer." "It would if you had your head on right," she released him, and he rubbed at the skin with his palm. Then it was her turn to turn pitying eyes on him, "Please, Vash?" Meryl watched his breath hitch and she had to stop herself from smiling with smug satisfaction. Instead, she intensified her look with a soft hand on his cheek. "I know what you're doing," he said quietly, "but I'll allow it, for now," then he snuck a kiss onto the inside of her wrist and Meryl felt her ears warm. "Just-" she started, flustered, "Just go do what I asked," then she marched out of the house while Vash chuckled behind her.

i just don't write as much silly dialogue as i wish i did and i really liked this interaction. I think i'd like to play more with scenes that don't require description ? like just straight up dialogue, but I get nervous that me and the audience will get lost so i have yet to be brave enough to do that.

26. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

i do beta for myself ! @noaafishfieldguide my beloved squid reads my chapters before hand lol but I normally go over my own work because im Obsessive and need to make things smooth and clear and less choppy. and sometimes i need to fix things and i don't want to bother my beta to just rewrite for me lol

as a beta for others i love to just fix grammar and continuity lol I have a bad habit of reading other's works and going "oop, that sentence needs to be restructured" T-T i wonder if its the fact that i've written so many essays in my life.

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

hmmmm this is a hard one.

there is... a kacchako (bnha) fic called Don't Ask Don't Tell and it is one of my favorite fics on the internet,,, and while there is a sequel by the author i think I would love to write a lil sequel myself of adult Bakugou and Ochako as team pro heroes working together and kicking evil's butt (and maybe write some hurt/comfort bc i need it lol)

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

so i will always rave about @veilder because she leaves the best reviews on my works and they're so in depth and analytical that it makes me cry and reevaluate my own work, but my fav review from her is this one

apologies if its blurry but it made me SCREAM with laughter when i saw it in my inbox ledkjflejfelj

also ! squid (@noaafishfieldguide) has read all of in the meadow.... and knows my secrets, but here's her reaction to the final chapter so yall can be excited hehe

[dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice]

To the Shadows that Cry Witch /// Chapter 11

Hello!! I know it's been less than a month, but it feels like I haven't posted a chapter in forever! As much as I've enjoyed this small hiatus, it's definitely given me the motivation to start writing again. Now, as for the first chapter of Part 2, Chapter 11 includes an introduction of one of my own OCs, who's name you will find out below and I can't wait for you to meet him! Enjoy! <3

Summary: Magic was real, but it came at a price. So when two girls end up in the one place they never thought they could reach, strange things began to happen. Good or bad? That's up to them to find out.

Tags: Kíli x oc/reader - Fíli x oc (POV to be written soon) - Thorin's company x ocs/reader (platonic) - fluff - angst - EXTREME slow burn - crack - Bagginshield

Word Count: 2355

Warnings: Mentions of Minor and Major Injuries from last chapter.

Taglist - comment or message to be added!

PLEASE START FROM THE BEGINNING IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY OK LOVE U

Want some background music? Check out my Soundtrack Playlist!

Now available on Wattpad and AO3 (please let me know if links aren't working)

< Part 1 // Chapter 11 // Chapter 12 >

PART 2: Chapter 11 -

Unfortunate Beginnings

Anodyne (Definition): Capable of soothing or easing pain. (Figuratively) soothing or relaxing. (Adjective / Origin: Derived from the Greek/Latin word anṓdynos/ an·​o·​dyne ˈa-nə-ˌdīn)

Hobbiton, The Shire – T.A. Sunday 25th September 2939 of the Third Age (1339 in Shire-reckoning)

The moment Bilbo’s footsteps faded away, Kay was immediately upon me as she whipped around in her chair and I could see the question she had wanted to ask earlier burn in her eyes.

“Why’d you ask for his name?” she practically blurted out.

“Because we don’t know him.” I stated. Kay’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“But we do? Don’t we?”

“From the book and movies, yes,” I began explaining, “But we don’t actually know him, we just know of him. Plus if we called him by his name without asking for it first, I’m pretty sure he would be given enough heebie jeebies to throw us out. Then we would really have no place to go.”

Kay nodded slowly in agreement, before responding. “I mean, we do know of other places to stay.”

“But, would we actually get there alive, let alone know how to get there?” I questioned rhetorically.

Kay slumped back in her chair disappointedly with a groan at the obvious truth. We were raised and conditioned to live in a – somewhat – sheltered society. We hadn’t had a single lesson in life on how to survive out in the uncharted wild, apart from the occasional Bear Grylls show that I couldn’t remember anything from, except that thing where you drink your own urine, but I would honestly die on the first day of thirst than go anywhere near my piss. Soon Kay pulled me out of my spiralling thoughts as she pushed herself out her chair and I twisted my head to watch as she passed me.

“Oi.” I said, reaching out to prod at her arm. “Bilbo said to stay put.”

“He also said help yourself to tea.” She fired back as she made her way to the kitchen. “And I have two working ankles.”

It was now my turn to slump back in my own chair with a huff. A bit bored, I stretched my legs towards the fireplace in an attempt to warm my feet as I listened to Kay’s footsteps as she pottered around. You couldn’t let her be too sure of herself whilst she walked around with a knocked head after all. The clinks of ceramics became clearer as she wandered back through, balancing everything on the ornate wooden tray in her hands. She plopped it onto the small table that sat in between our armchairs before settling herself back into her chair.

Swatting my outstretched legs away from the fire whilst muttering something about my lack of fire safety, she passed me my cup of steaming tea, before picking up her own. Facing towards the open window, where the sun and many sounds of the morning wandered through, her expressions shifted as thoughts floated around in her head.

“Where do you suppose he’s gone?” She pondered as her eyes wandered about.

“Some sort of healer maybe?” I suggested, taking a sip of tea. “He did seem to panic over our whole ‘We’re severely injured!’ ordeal at the end of breakfast.”

“Huh, maybe.”

We sat in a peaceful silence for a bit as we waited for Bilbo’s return. Though whilst I stared at the crackling fire, an unwanted thought came to mind.

“Wait, so.. how are we gonna repay him in this condition?” I said worriedly. Kay joined me in staring at the fire as she tried to think of something. “I just don’t want to be kicked out for not being able to do anything meaningful.” I added.

“Eugh, you’re right.” Kay replied with a slight panic in her eye as she looked away from the flames at me. She took a moment as she thought of her next words. “Though I’ve read the hobbit enough times to know he’s surely not like that. We’ll explain that whilst we’re healing, we’ll start with smaller things, then the better we get, the bigger tasks we take on.”

I took a deep breath as I nodded, drinking more tea to distract myself from overthinking.

Moments passed before the second stretch of silence was interrupted. The muffled sounds of voices getting closer to the front door increased, one voice sounding familiar but frantic, whilst the other one unfamiliar and annoyed. We both leant over our armchairs to fixate on the circular door as it swung open, and we both watched as a now tussled up Bilbo quickly ushered in another hobbit. This other hobbit looked as if he had been dragged out of bed then through a bush backwards by his pointy ears as he stumbled in with bleary eyes. Poor guy was nodding almost subconsciously at the words that were pouring out of Bilbo’s mouth as he rubbed at his eyes in an attempt to be rid of his tiredness. He slipped off the coat that was already askew on his shoulders, before haphazardly patting down his unsightly bedhead of mousy brown hair as he turned away from his now hung up coat to follow Bilbo deeper into the house.

“Now Master Baggins,” The stranger managed out whilst stifling another yawn. “Let us see what caused you to wake me up at the crack of dawn, on a Sunday might I add.”

“Yes, yes, through here.” Bilbo said almost dismissively as he strode up to where we were sitting, beckoning the other hobbit over. I spotted the relief on his face as he saw that we hadn’t really moved at all from where he had left us. As for the second hobbit, his tiredness was snatched away from him in an instant as his half lidded eyes landed on us, and he almost stumbled back in shock at the sight of us, his hand clutched over his heart.

“By Yavanna! Where in Middle Earth did they come from?!” He cried as his wide chestnut eyes scoured over our appearance. We recoiled slightly at his outcry, eyeing each other concerned. Surely we didn’t look that bad?

“Fell straight from the top of the hill, they did.” Bilbo began explaining, , (Ok, maybe we did look that bad) stuffing his hands in his pockets as he swung back and forth on his heels. The other hobbit faced him with a gaping mouth at Bilbo’s casualness, before turning towards us.

“And you’re still alive?!?” he gasped incredulously. I shrugged whilst Kay gestured at herself with a ‘guess so!’ look on her face. He faced back to Bilbo, “And what in Yavanna’s name made you make the decision to bring two unknown big folk into your home???”

“That’s what I was saying!” Kay muttered to herself, though the two hobbits were too busy squabbling to notice.

“They mean no harm to any of us. No weapons or anything malevolent in their packs. From what they’ve told me, they simply got lost in the woods and never found the way out.” Bilbo stated, his tone indicating that this was his final decision. “And they’ve given no reason for me to have them leave. Nothing but impeccable manners.”

We both eyed each other confusedly at Bilbo’s sudden defensiveness, then all three of us watched as the second hobbit’s mouth bobbed open and shut, unable to form the words. Bilbo looked between him and us for a moment before letting out a frustrated sigh. Gesturing towards us with a firm hand, he glared at the unnamed hobbit expectantly. Looking rather panicked for a second, Mr No-Name brought his eyes back on us. He then straightened up, nervously digging his thumbs into his belt loops as he began to speak.

“I errrr – Good morning.” He managed out and we both smiled politely as he spoke, which seemed to relax him slightly. “I’m Erard Noakesburrow, Hobbiton’s doctor, and uh – my good friend Bilbo here, told me that you both had quite the night!. And he’s certainly not exaggerating, from what I can see.” He said whilst mostly eyeing the bruises and cuts that were scattered around on the both of us.

“You’re not wrong.” I replied jokingly. “I’m pretty sure everything’s broken.”

Erard huffed a light laugh at my half-joke, giving us both a weak smile back that emphasised the freckles dotted on his face. Luckily he seemed to be calming down from his original panic.

“Right,” He said, lightly patting his legs to rid of the rest of his nerves. He turned back to Bilbo who was looking back expectantly. “I guess I’ll go and get what I need to examine them both. Then we can go on about the healing process.” He explained. “I take it they need a place to rest?” He asked Bilbo.

“There’s no need!” Exclaimed Bilbo, causing Erard to blink at him in surprise. “They’ll be.. staying here.”

Erard eyed us both slightly, then back at Bilbo.

“Allllright then, if you insist Master Baggins! Saves me the hassle!” He said as he turned towards the door. “I’ll go get my stuff.”

Kay and I both looked at each other questionably at Bilbo’s insistence. He was a hobbit, and I’ve read many times that hobbits do love having guests, but surely he wouldn’t be this eager to let two strangers he just met (officially) this morning?

We watched as Bilbo waved Erard out the door, nodding at whatever the doctor was saying as he walked away, before pushing it shut and heading back over to us. Bilbo went to say something, but I quickly interrupted as to not forget what I wanted to say.

“Are you sure you want us here?” I questioned. Bilbo blinked at me in confusion. “I mean, you don’t actually know us and you seem very sure about letting us stay.”

“Well I – I’m not too sure, actually.” He said uncertainly. “It’s true that I don’t know you both, in fact the only thing I know are your names.” He uttered half a word, before quickly changing course,” But you should know! Us hobbits truly love having guests – and to send you away, seeing the state you both are in, it would be very cruel to do so!” He finished with a nervous laugh.

My eyes drifted to the ground as my thoughts darted around to try and guess what Bilbo would have said, but the answers were too far out of reach right now, so I simply nodded at him. He gave a strained smile before disappearing off into the kitchen, muttering something about another kettle of tea. Kay and I instantly had a silent conversation, the both of us mouthing questions and gesturing our confusion at each other. It was somewhat unusual for Bilbo to let us stay and despite our uncertainty, it wasn’t like we were complaining.

Finally, Erard had returned with his bag. Placing it on the floor near us, he knelt down to take out what he needed and placed it on the table next to the fresh tea Bilbo had brought in. I leant forward to take a look at what he had. Most of it looked like traditional doctors equipment. I identified a stethoscope, but I’m not a doctor, so everything else I couldn’t put a name to.

“Okay, why don’t we start with what you know.” He said.

Just like we had done with Bilbo over the dining table, we listed off everything we knew. With each injury, we watched as Erard’s face became more and more concerned, and by the time we had finished, he was quite pale.

“I.. – I’ve got to say,” he huffed, his cheeks puffing out as he took a deep inhale. “It’s a miracle that you’re both here.”

Everyone had grim looks on their faces as he said this, reality setting in as Kay and I both realised how lucky we were to survive (and land in Middle Earth of course).

As respectfully as he could, Erard gently examined my ribcage, lightly pressing his small fingers down to identify which areas were broken. As for Kay, no torch lights were available in this dimension, so he used his finger for her eyes to follow to check on her head injury, confirming that she indeed had a concussion, but to add to our growing list of luck, it was only minor. Like he did with me, he used his fingers to see where Kay had injured her back as well. Standing back up, he brushed off his trousers and retrieved a book from his bag. He asked to borrow a quill and ink, which Bilbo quickly rushed off to get. He spoke as we waited.

“From what I have examined from the both of you, it’s not looking good.” He said a bit solemnly and we looked up at him with worried faces. “Though, it’s not the most terrible, either.” At this point Bilbo had walked back in and wordlessly handed him the quill and small bottle of ink. Erard thanked him with a nod and began writing in his book as he spoke again. “Everything I’ve observed will heal on its own, though it will take a while. Bed rest with short spurts of gentle exercise will ensure that you stay healthy. You – ” he pointed the quill at me, “ – will need a sling for that wrist of yours, but your ribs and ankle should heal as long as you’re gentle with those areas. And you – ” the quill darted in Kay’s direction, “don’t lift anything heavy for a while, otherwise you’ll worsen the strain on your spine.”

The two of us nodded obediently at his words and he snapped his book shut, satisfied. After repacking his bag, he beckoned Bilbo over to the front door for a private conversation. We carried on drinking our teas as we tried to tune in to the unintelligible murmuring going on down the hallway. Eventually the front door opened and we both leant over our chairs again to call out our thanks and wave goodbye. Erard raised his hand in response as he slipped on his coat, sending a warm smile in our direction before he turned. Giving Bilbo a nod – most likely to do with what they conversed about privately – he picked up his bag and stepped out, leaving Bilbo to push the door shut behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you enjoyed meeting Erard! I'm going to create a character sheet of him soon, so look out for that <3

Please let me know if you want to be added to the Taglist!

< Part 1 // Chapter 11 // Chapter 12 >

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Can't wait to see you soon for Chapter 12! Also please comment if you want to be added to the Taglist <3

Taglist:

@opheliasdrowningg @mrsdurin @g1gglef1t @qmabailor @jupiterrdarling @emstar07 @geewoo-ko @phanryesworld

(Message me if your tag isn’t working)

[nani-nonny]

Sneak Peeks

I was relaxing and having a few drinks to really enjoy my Spring Break when I realized I hadn’t updated LCD in like… 3 weeks? Give or take? So, I decided to share what I’ve been working on in that time because I didn’t stop writing hehe. Below the cut are sneak peeks for BYMH Part 2 (Peepaw Interview), LCD Ch.7, and WDS Ch.1.

BYMH Part 2

First question: Have you ever met the other peepaws? For example: OMO, WMAS, MNMC, etc…

Reunion freezes in his seat and his eyes widened in shock. “There’s more of us?!”

Fourth question: If you had the chance to reset the clock—not time travel to the past like you have already—all the way back to the day the Krang invaded, would you take it?

Reunion shifts awkwardly in his seat and looks away. His hand tightens on his knee and creates a fist that slams on the tense muscle of his thigh. He swallows before saying, “I… I’m guessing that’s a question for the others… right?”

Leonardo Come Down - Ch.7 (#2)

Splinter jumps off his chair to drag Leon by the hand to the table. He sits his son next to Casey and takes his plate to the sink. “Talk to Casey, I’m going to… think about what to say when he comes home.”

Splinter pats Leon’s hand before he leaves the kitchen. Leon scratches Splinter off his list, but he watches his father’s shoulders slump the farther the rat gets from the kitchen. Are they…?

Whispers of Distant Souls - Ch.1(?)

He mumbles to himself like a spell, “A ninja’s greatest weapon: hope. Hope will get me through this. I can’t give up.”

Leonardo’s fist tightens again and he sucks in a sharp breath. He shuts his eyes as he forces himself to sit up, changing his position to sit on the back of his ankles all while holding tightly to his wound with his prosthetic. He breathes slowly before opening his eyes to assess the situation.

WDS Sneak Peek Bonus:

“Would have hoped to tell you before he found you, but you’re adopted. Papa wanted to tell you before our eighteenth.” -Donnie

Are you really siblings if you don’t try to trick them into believing they’re adopted?

Anyways, I’m almost done with WDS CH.1 but I want to post it when I have the entire story planned out. I already knew how I wanted the story to start but it really needs a little more oomph in its entirety so I’ll focus on that before ch.1 is uploaded.

And LCD Ch.7 might be a bit of a slow one since it’s leading into a bit of a bigger picture so disclaimer if it’s a bit boring(?). Think of it as the calm before the storm.

BYMH still needs some work because I’m deciding whether I want to post WDS’s answers from part 1’s questions before or after his first chapter is uploaded. Well, that and I’m thinking if I want to add another question because the interview is about four questions long? Idk I’m an indecisive person so the answers to my own questions will probably come up soon.

[temperedgods]

Part 1 Chapter 10

Last week was pretty rough for me so I completely forgot about posting this part. Honestly I think if I went through editing this part last week I would've been worse off. Not gonna lie this isn't my best work. It's sort of an epilogue/cliffhanger that I wrote, while completely toasted. A lot didn't make sense, was shallow, or just something that I don't want to do with my writing. But I did complete pt 2 and there is a sort of interim part I am working on. Doesn't work for either 2 or 3 but I feel needs to cover some bases with story beats. It'll be a monthly post now most likely. Going to grad school this year, I'm pretty sure, so lot of my time will be with that and also paying rent.

Free palestine, fuck landlords

There wasn’t any celebration or huge party for the group, but a quiet night of light drinks and conversation. 

Kracak wasn’t happy at first but as soon as she sat down on a couch she passed out for the rest of the night.

Will got out a nice wine and began pouring a glass for everyone still awake. While Charlie refused a glass, Lucan intercepted him.

“I actually have to step out for a bit. Give me a rain check on my glass would you?”

Will nodded and quietly said 

“Go let her know you’re ok.”

He smirked and quietly stepped out.

Morgan looked confused when he saw him step out and sprint down the street.

“What’s Lucan up to?”

Will brought over a tray of wine glasses.

“He’s gonna go get some more wine for us.”

“Really?” Jordan ribbed while taking a glass, “Do you think his girlfriend works at the wine shoppe?”

“Girlfriend?” Morgan was shocked.

“When we were in the carrier, Lucan came back to the realm of the living screaming a name, Nijali.”

“And you think that’s his girlfriend?” 

“It is his girlfriend Morgan.” Lawrence attested while taking a wine glass. “He just wasn’t comfortable talking about it.”

“Why not?”

“They just met. Seems like it would’ve been uncomfortable for him to say something about it right before, well before any of us may have died.”

“Why didn’t he say anything now? We’re in the clear?” “I am not sure. He’ll say something when he’s ready.”

Sullen, Morgan took a drink.

“It may not feel like it,” Lawrence assured “But we’ve only known him, and Kracak, for about a short time.”

With an arm locked with Jordan’s, Malan spoke up.

“You’ve only known me for a week too!” “You’re different,” Lawrence clarified. “I’ve at least heard about you before. And this makes it a lot different.” He pointed to the two hand in hand.

Kracak stirred a bit before going back into deep sleep.

They shared more conversation for a while until Lucan arrived back.

Morgan was the first to realize there was an obvious lipstick print on his cheek that he hadn’t noticed.

“So Lucan, was your girlfriend glad you were back?”

All the blood in Lucan’s face rushed out and he was pale as a ghost.

Jordan laughed.

“Lucan, we all know. And it’s fine if you don’t want to say much about her.” Jordan said as they got up. Jordan put a hand on his arm.

“You will need to bring her over one day to our place so we can meet her.”

“I’ll uh- I’ll think about it.”

“Great! Let’s get you some wine now that you're back!”

Wine was poured for everyone and the night slowed down as more was consumed. It wasn’t too long that Jordan found themselves slumped between Malan and Morgan, both sharing a laugh at their shared experience.

Riley was having a great time with Charlie and Will, and Shelly. She loved Anthus and was ecstatic to see one in the group and now had ample time to play with him.

Lawrence went outside for a moment to check on something and came back in. He had the 3 playing with Riley come outside to see something.

“I would’ve gotten Jordan to come out with Malan or Morgan but they have their own version of this.” He looked behind the three and saw the entire couch had everyone else asleep on it. Lucan was in the bathroom at the moment.

Lawrence revealed a musician that Charlie had felt he had met before.

“Lawrence, that’s not who I think it is, is it?” 

“Ask him yourself!” Lawrence answered.

The musician, holding a violin, got up and shook Charlie’s hand.

“I have heard a lot about your work, love.” The musician complimented. “I have to congratulate you on your quest to bring music to everyone. I might even play some of your songs when I’m by myself.”

“It is him!” Charlie elated. “Oh Melodia I’m such a big fan I-” “Everyone’s a big fan dear, nobody can really hate a rhythm, now let me play you two sweet couples a nice song for the night.”

The music god played an upbeat song fitting the mood. Melodia thought the night as a somber time, but needed something lighthearted to help celebrate the events the day before.

Despite Shelly being taller than Charlie, he still led the dance as he was classically trained in ballroom.

“My mother taught me how to dance. I hope it’s-”

“Charlie, your moves are working on me.” She smiled sweetly.

Charlie chuckled, and continued to dance.

Will had led their dance. He never felt this close to Lawrence in months.

“Lawrence, you don’t have to worry anymore. Morgan’s safe, we’re all safe. You can let go just for this moment.”

Lawrence just danced silently for a moment and finally said something.

“I love you William.”

Will’s heart raced as he and Lawrence looked face to face with Will’s.

Melodia interrupted as he stopped the music.

“Listen, you were about to share a very special moment. Believe me I appreciate that since half the songs in all of existence are about love. But I think you can share this little garden with one more pair of love birds.”

A violet Halcyon poked her head through the entrance of the garden and looked around.

“Hi?” She asked.

“Great! She’s here! I’m not sure who she’s swooning for but it’s apparently for someone lucky inside!” Charlie immediately put the pieces together.

“Are you Nijali?” He quietly asked.

“Uh, yes?”

Shelly quickly came over.

“Oh my goodness we just heard about you! Woah you are so pretty! Charlie, can you grab Lucan? He needs to dance with her!”

Charlie was already halfway in the doorway to grab Lucan. He came out with a Lucan in his hands, half asleep and slowly opening his eyes to see Nijali.

“Uh, hey Lucan. It’s nice to meet some of your friends.” Lucan was set down right by her.

“Now you two don’t have to do anything else except slow dance and look adorable!” Charlie announced.

Lucan slowly put a hand on Nijali’s shoulder as she went flustered.

“I’m sorry my friends roped you into this.” Lucan apologized.

“No, this is actually really nice. I’m pretty sure the guy playing violin is the god of music so it’s a great experience.”

“Yeah, it’s an interesting group I found myself in.”

“And it’s a really interesting guy I found myself enamored with.”

The two kissed, as did the other two couples.

Lawrence and Will had shared many beds and many kisses during this journey, but his one felt right. It felt complete to them, and Will had hoped they could feel this way forever.

Joseph fell down the stairs. He didn’t imbibe in the same wine as the others had, he had his own stock he kept to himself and would put him in the condition that the only way down the stairs was the one that involved bruising.

He jumped up and saw that everyone had either went upstairs to sleep, fell asleep on the couches and chairs, or was Lawrence and wide awake,

“Fun night?” Joseph asked.

“We have a friend outside waiting for us.”

Joseph raised an eye

“Really? Is it the lich or the guy who wants my spot?” “I thought the lich wanted your spot? But no it’s not him.” Joseph sighed deeply, cast a spell that brought everyone upstairs to a bedroom, and opened the door.

Lawrence sat in his chair and sipped from his wine glass as Joseph and the figure talked for a moment.

“Listen Darius, I know you added something to that talisman.”

“And? Seemed like you didn’t have a better plan!” “My plan was to let fate and prophecy work itself out!” “And look where that got us up to now? Lots of people died, and a bunch of deals with the gods welched on. Now let me talk to Lawrence.”

Joseph stood silent for a moment, staring right through Darius.

“Come on Joseph, we both know what’s gonna happen. And you handle death a lot worse than I do.”

“You’re much more of an asshole than I am too.”

“Take one to know one, bitch.”

Joseph eyed him.

“Fine. Talk to him, and get out.”

“I have no other reason to be here, so I will. Not because you told me

Darius casually stepped into the house the group lodged. Joseph exited while grumbling something.

“Good evening Lawrence Mikael. I believe we have met before.”

“Indeed we have. Joseph has made it very clear that you shouldn’t be trusted.”

“And?”

“And that I trust very few people. Will, Morgan, and Jordan now, I trust all of them.” “And the dog?” “I trust him too, and you’ll know that Riley is more of a man you’ll ever be.” “Ouch, I think that’s a bigger insult than anything Joseph has said to me.”

Darius sat down in the chair across from Lawrence. 

The fire in the chimney had been burning the entire night. Before Darius sat down it was embers, now it had roared back to life.

“I spoke to Melodia after your adorable dance tonight.”

“Did he give you some music theory?” “No, I wish. He told me his hands were tied. It wasn’t his decision to make.” “What decision?”

“The decision on your fate when dawn rises in a few short hours.”

Silence crept through the house. Riley was in the same bed as the other three and rustled slightly to find someone to hang onto.

Lawrence swirled the wine in his glass. He looked into the eyes of the wizard.

“So it’s decided? I will see the face of Mikaela tomorrow?”

Darius sighed.

“Unfortunately, yes. I asked even if me, Joseph, or Nolan, could change her mind. Nothing would, I am afraid. No mortal can change this I’m afraid.”

Lawrence stopped swirling his wine.

“I- I’m scared.” Lawrence muttered.

“Death is something you should be afraid of. It’s not something anyone can fully grasp until they have met it, And when they do, it’s too late to tell anyone.”

“I- I want to see Will before I go.”

“You will. Grimbergen will let you see him one last time.”

Darius’s eyes looked to the floor.

“I wish I could help you.” Lawrence muttered. “Bridge the gap between you and Joseph, help Lucan, put things right for everyone

Darius looked up.

“One of those tasks by itself is almost insurmountable for one person.”

The two didn’t say anything for some time.

“Please, don’t hurt them.” Lawrence pleaded for the first time.

“I’m not sure if I can promise that.”

“If you can’t, my sister will make sure you will regret doing so.”

“I am sure she will.”

“I will miss her too. I will miss Morgan, and Jordan, the Whisper, and Riley. I will miss them all.”

Darius slowly got up.

“I believe you should say your final goodbyes to all of them.”

He held out a hand to Lawrence.

“Thank you.”

[dachi-chan25]

Recent Reads

Sooo I haven't been writing reviews for what I've read in like a year so and actually I haven't been reading all that much (the reading slump is real) so I will try to ease myself back into it and hopefully that will make me read more.

1.- The Hollow Kind by Andy Davidson

3/5

This book is about a mother and a son running away to her family's old turpentine state to hide from her husband who is an abuser. The house and the property in general is very dangerous and holds many secrets.

There were some intresting bits, especially in the sections about the past, but it didn't really capture me.

2.- Bloody Fool for Love by William Ritter

4/5

I looooove Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Spike is my favorite character, that being said I thought it was a pretty fun story and really lays out the dynamic between Angel and Spike as well as establish who Spike is as a vampire.

3.- The Institute by Stephen King

5/5

Luke is a genius 12 yo boy making plans to go to college soon, he happens to have the ability of making things move sometimes, this catches the attention of The Institue, a plce where children with psychic potential get experimented on to develop their abilities.

I loved this book. It really got me out of my reading slump cuz I practically went through it on one sitting. I felt that while this concept is not original it was very well executed and it was deeply disturbing, also the ending was really sad but felt true to everything that happened in the book.

4.- The Last Ever After (School for Good and Evil # 3) by Soman Chainani

5/5

Sooo I watched the Netflix adaptation of book 1 of this series and became obssesed w it and I've been reading the books and they are sooo goood. So this is the 3rd book and I won't go much into detail about plot and stuff, but I definitely recc it for someone who loves fairytales and that wants a twist on them cause these books definitely defy expatations and the roles (gender roles specifically) of many fairytale archtypes.

5.- What Big Teeth by Rose Szabo

4/5

This is a very atmospherical whimsical book. It's about this girl who was sent away to a boarding school but she escapes and comes back to her family, who are all different from her and she wants answers from her grandma who was the one who sent her away, but she doesn't get them, her granny dies and this sets in motion everything for our protagonist to discover her family's secrets.

6.-The Vinyl Underground by Rob Rufus

4/5

This book it's bitchin'. So our protagonist Ronnie is grieving the death of his brother, who died in Vietnam. They were very close and even had plans to host a radio show together so it's very hard on him especially as he lives in a very small town were seemingly most boys can't wait to get drafted. He meets Hanna, an asian girl new in town, and together with Ronnie's athlete friend form a group to listen to music together and their closeness makes a ripple in town as they find a way to express their non-conformity to the war.

7.- Verona Comics by Jennifer Dugan

2/5

Mmm, I am a very nerdy person and I love comics and superheroes a lot, so I was definitely intrested in this Romeo and Juliet retelling. I was expecting it to be wholesome and fun but honeslty I couldn't get into it at all and the main characters didn't have a dynamic I was intrested in, like not even the conflict between the families was compelling at all cause the dad was such cartoonish asshole villian so yeah not my cup of tea

8.-Breakable Things by Cassandra Khaw

4/5

This is a story collection, I ended up liking the stories very much, they all had this very creepy eerie feeling to them and I dig that a lot.

9.- Jane Eyre: A Retelling by Tanya Landman

3/5

What was the point???? This is Jane Eyre but super super condensed and w the authors' personal opinions/biases against the characters or like their input on what they believe the character was thinking and I did not vibe w that alas it is basically Jane Eyre but told via one paragraph long chapter so it is the same story but not even given a different spin at all.

10.-The Housewives: The Real Story behind The Real Housewives by Brian Moylan

4/5

This book was super intresting, so I haven't watched "The Real Housewives" like at all, I have seen a few clips and the memes I guess but not like a whole episode, but I was intrested in what makes reality shows so popular and what goes in their making yada, yada. This book definitely gave me the answers I was looking for and not only that bit was pretty fun and entretaining as a read so yeah I definitely recommend it if you're looking to read more non-fiction but don't want something super dense or theoretical.

11.-Dead Flip by Sara Farizan

3/5

I feel this book would be perfect for fans of Starnger Things, it follows a group of 3 friends: Cori,Maz and Sam, they are inseparable until they have a fight and that night one of them goes missing. It's told in 2 timelines, but eventually they intersect as the missing friend returns. It's a fun read but a bit too juvenile for me so that's why I only gave it a 3 but still it was enjoyable.

12.-Motherthing by Ainslie Hogarth

4/5

This book was not what I was expecting, so the only thing I knew about this book was that a woman get haunted by her dead mother-in-law... but no, well kinda. The story does start when the mother-in-law dies, but most fail to mention that the protagonist of the book is one of those deranged woman booktok loves which takes the book to a whole other level as the protagonist deals (very badly) with her grieving husband, and her obsession with motherhood via reminiscing her own mother and the poor relationship she had w her, to her poor relationship w her dead mother in law whom she resents for not loving her and embracing her in the family, her hyperfixiation w one of her charges at the Nursing Home she works at and finally her own obssesion w becoming a mother. This book is definitely a ride but one I enjoyed.

13.- Sea Witch by Sarah Henning

3/5

So, I like The Little Mermaid, it's one of my favorite classic fairytales because I like the melancholic vibe ( I love that suffering) and the Sea Witch is a very intresting character so I was definitely pumped up for this but ... it was not bad per se, but for me it felt very cliché and generic, I felt like I was watching one of those Disney movies about Villians were they yassify and basically justify their every action when all I've ever wanted is a descent arc, a corruption arc... well anyway not the book for me but not bad enough to make fun of it either just very meh.

[beyondtsh]

How to Get Motivated as a Christian

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How to Get Motivated as a Christian

Even Christians need to know how to get motivated in whatever they’re doing. This is especially true if you have conditions such as depression or anxiety. I know there are many days when I get up and I just don’t really feel like doing anything.

Some days you just plain feel lazy and that’s okay unless you have important projects to get done on schedule. Then it’s important to get motivated to get up and do something.

Do You Have a Lack of Motivation?

I do. In fact, I go through this frequently.

Medication Conditions Causing Lack of Motivation

I have a couple of medical conditions with side effects of depression and anxiety. Sometimes it gets really annoying; other times I just throw my hands in the air and simply give in to the laziness. And that’s not really great when you’re trying to build a business.

Some of my lack of motivation comes from not really knowing what I’m supposed to be doing with myself. You’d think I’d know at my age (63 at the time of this post!). After I lost my last full-time job I ended up at home on permanent disability. I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing since then.

How to Get Motivated After Failures

I’ve had a couple of home businesses that I had to shut down due to increased physical and medical conditions. My continuous brain fog and pain didn’t bode well with those businesses.

Now with my t-shirt business, I started out all excited about it then fell into a slump. My brother was suddenly killed and my motivation to do anything went right out the window.

I’ve started to do a little more with it lately as far as writing, designing, making ads, and marketing it more.

I Just Need That One Sale to Get Motivated!

But, I think my periodic lack of motivation now comes from not enough sales yet and that gets pretty frustrating. Sometimes just learning to be patient can be how to get motivated!

It’s kind of like when you’re watching a sports game and the team’s losing because they haven’t scored yet. But then, as soon as they get on the scoreboard, they get motivated to move. They may even end up winning the game because they just got that little bit of motivation.

What Things Do You Need to Get Motivated to Do?

What are some things you may need some motivation to do? Well, cleaning, doing laundry, and cooking are some household things you might need to get motivated to do.

If you work from home, you may always need motivation to get things done. Some of those things may be writing, marketing, creating emails or newsletters; things that you have to do yourself if you don’t have the funds to outsource.

One of the ways that I’ve found motivation is by chatting with people in a couple of Facebook groups related to my business. Another is chatting with some of the people I go to church with and I get some encouragement from them.

One of the best ways to get motivated is just by talking to Jesus; simply asking God for motivation in Jesus name, to get my mindset more on creating new blog posts, designing new shirts, and marketing.

And, of course, another great way is just by reading the Bible.

How to Get Motivated Reading Bible Verses

There are many great motivational passages and scriptures in the Bible that can actually teach you how to find motivation and also provide cross references to other passages about motivation. Here are some of my favorites from the New Kings James Bible:

Philippians 4:6-7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Psalm 121:1-2 “I will lift up my eyes to the hills— From whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.”

Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.”

Matthew 11:28 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Get this t-shirt design here!

How do you get motivated to get through the day?

[berestweys]

Kinnporsche Rewatch - Episode 14

Summary: MISS ERIKA SAVES THE DAY

Favorite Line: “You gotta be tough. Don’t be all talk.”

Porsche’s Wacky Antics: Tells Kinn if he has ‘business’ with the Minor Family he better put his mouth where his money is. When Kinn tells him he has a surprise for him, Porsche says, “Then I’ll go wait for you in the restroom.” Smacks Kinn on the ass.

Why is Chay crying? Kim sang him a sad song (and dammit I love this song thank you Jeff Satur for your everything) and says It’s You. Please Stay. Chay cries a pretty cry and can’t quite bring himself to delete the video.

Woe is Big: Footage from my private dirge for Big while everyone else is shooting at each other (that’s Ranya in the bg with the great manicure):

(Pouring one out for Chan too)

Tankhun Highlight: Joins up with Team Arm and his toys to save Porsche and Kinn and befuddle Vegas. OOPS, did Tankhun accidentally hit Kinn and Porsche? ... Woops. Sends a photo of “his beloved son” to Korn, who is of course tormenting his betta fish. I’ve seen the meta theorizing Tankhun is the other player in The Chess Game and in this moment I believe it.

A Woman Speaks: Yok tells Chay over the phone to be good and she’ll be back soon. Miss Erika shouts at Porsche to take Khun Kinn to safety and then screams at the Minor Family, “Don’t mess with my masters! You die!!!” Miss Erika is some kind of superhero and even on second watch I grabbed my face and screamed when she appeared. 

What’s Pete eating, and who prepared it for him? Presumably he’s going to eat some of the takeout marriage curry rice once he’s done cuddling with Vegas and Macau. From here on out, no more hunger for Pete. Only full tummies everyday.

Vegas Report: He warns Porsche about what's coming. He’ll be a good little soldier for Gun, but he won’t let anything happen to Pete. Porsche tells him to take care of Pete and Vegas nods firmly in agreement. Tells Porsche he’s going to have to choose & wishes him luck with his choice. Judging by his outfit when they storm the Main Family compound, he’s planning to attend a Bee Gees Fanclub reunion after the coup. His FACE when he stumbles in and sees Gun slumped lifeless against the bookshelves UGH. The complete silence as the camera moves in and his tremulous “Phaw?” does me in. Poor little meow meow. The fragility of his face when he later wakes up to a new life: I will write a poem about it. Look out, Siken, here I come.

Shipping Activities

KinnPorsche: Porsche comes barreling into the gunfight to protect Kinn. He’s on Kinn’s side and no one else’s. Kinn grabs Porsche’s dick while they’re actively being shot at and I’M LOVE THEM. Gun tries to lure Porsche to his side but Porsche is physically clinging to Kinn and it’ll never happen. Kinn gets between Porsche & Korn, and I can see the moment when Porsche realizes that he can’t make Kinn choose; Kinn’s not going to save himself from his father. Porsche is going to have to save him himself, and then we have the most awkward engagement ring exchange in history. Kinn’s been practicing to be a bartender so he can give Porsche his heart! Porsche promises Kinn his whole life, and Kinn will treasure it. The family is united, Porsche is wearing a Danger Suit, and I remember that Porsche is the hero of this story. He’s not naïve about what he’s gotten himself into, not after everything. What comes next? The hero is going to do everything in his newfound power to save his entire family from the inside. (Vegas will help.)

VegasPete: This section’s first draft was a wall of text nearly 1K long, riddled with caps lock, caterwauling, and gnashing of teeth. Once I read through it I realized two things: 1) My mind has collapsed inward and crushed any chance of reason or perspective. 2) I may be an actual lunatic and no one should listen to me. So, I will just say this about VegasPete in the finale, because we all watched it, and most of us are still licking our wounds about it months later: You are responsible forever for what you have tamed. Full disclosure though, Vegas, the thing you tamed will shoot you and beat the tar out of you, and then it’ll insist you take it home & feed it. Pete demands Vegas take responsibility for him and Vegas… does. The romance and devotion between two such fucked up individuals is the greatest thing I’ve seen in years. Please give me season two with VegasPete being disaster domestics, arguing over vet bills for their cats, literally unable to pick out curtains together without an eruption of violence. Give me feral dads (Mama Bears) to Baby Venice and big brothers to Macau. Give me the two of them tender & screaming, possessive and snarling over each other, beginners at love who’ve got the desire but not the know-how to do kink in a healthy way, tryna be better but completely at sea as to how to do so. Two fuckers hopelessly, desperately in love & in dire need of therapy. (Porsche on the sidelines going ‘Are... are you guys okay?’ and they turn on him in unison “NO!”) Listen, I- I need it. I need it so badly. My hands are trembling.

Do I care about KimChay yet? Hmm... eh? Kim is hot as hell casually protecting Chay. Leaving the goons dead on the floor for Chay to find, like grisly gifts from a feral cat… well. Okay. Okay there’s potential there. I don’t /care/, exactly. But I can see if I was given another full season to see what happens next, I could be convinced to show a mild interest. Maybe. Begrudgingly. (Just keep Porchay away from Valet Parking.) (Also Macau is going to have to be there in the mix or forget it.)

# of KimChay scenes in this episode: 2.5

# of KimChay scenes I watched without skipping through: 2.5

Kisses: Porsche and Kinn in Kinn’s living room, sharp blue and green suits. Cheek & hand kisses on the boat. Vegas and Pete in the hospital, once Vegas understands Pete is here for good. Vegas kisses Macau and Pete on their cheeks when they dissolve into a little pile of fambly.

Tits Out: Vegas, one tit out, in his enormous hospital bed. Excellent, poignant nipple, the most I’ve respected him throughout fourteen episodes.

What’s Gun wearing?

Serious Observations of Various Sorts: Chan dies sure in the knowledge he has a bigger dick than any man alive before or since. Maybe in his next life he’ll be lucky enough to own a Kevlar vest. Nampheung tells Porsche and Chay in flashback that little birds represent freedom. When Porsche and Chay visit her she’s painting two pairs of birds reflected across from each other. Her story is only beginning and I’m so mad we probs won’t get a second season. Whatever’s going on behind her troubled eyes in that final scene, I want to know it. Korn’s been keeping her for some nefarious purpose and I. must. know.

Have I calmed down? *wipes away the tears* *blows nose* *wanders aimlessly down the street mumbling snippets from mary oliver poems to myself* HAVE I?

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Episode 1/ Episode 2/ Episode 3/ Episode 4/ Episode 5/ Episode 6/ Episode 7/ Episode 8/ Episode 9/ Episode 10/ Episode 11/ Episode 12/ Episode 13

WAIT, askljhfdfskjdhgf one more thing about VegasPete. There’s been lots of fandom scuttlebutt about Pete’s bloody back and how it likely happened when he and Vegas were rolling around in the parking garage, but. I cannot help thinking the pattern of it looks like an angel with his wings torn off. Which, you know, thematically is not out of place even a little bit. Pete and Vegas’ story is centered around life, death, and rebirth. There’s room for a fallen angel in there somewhere.

Ok bye. ***