#as someone with a broadcasting degree it was so interesting to watch and try to figure out how they made it

[stellarspecter]

it's crazy how much you don't realize you know about something until you start talking about it to someone who knows nothing (<- just watched the eras tour movie and then spent an hour and a half infodumping to my parents over dinner about taylor swift and concert logistics)

[pleasantglitterflower]

Heart Podium (Joe Burrow x OC x Max Verstappen)

Many times our childhood dreams cannot be realized, due to our overly fertile imagination, many times our professional childhood dreams cannot be realized either, either due to the delay in getting a place at the university we dreamed of or the lack of opportunities when it comes to working in the arts or sports. 

There's always plan b.

Kayleigh was one of those kids, it's true that dreaming of being a Backyardigan was difficult, but she was left with plan b, a plan that was broadcast every Sunday before the NFL, her father would have lunch, afternoon snack and dinner on the same channel, watching the drivers and then the Cleveland Browns, his favorite team in the state. 

That was the most exciting thing Kayleigh had in her childhood, watching Formula One followed by a good Browns game, arriving at school and eagerly wanting to talk to someone, but the girls didn't like the subject and asked to talk about something else and the boys laughed at her.

Leaving her and her mom's cookies in the stands.

Until one day she plucked up the courage and asked her father to play go-kart, finding a track in the state of Ohio in 2004, it wasn't the easiest task in the world, but he managed it and little by little, it went from being a joke to a serious thing.

Until high school came and she discovered that there were two ways to get into college: she had to be very smart or know how to play some sport, in 2011 in the United States, go-kart doesn't really mean a sport, far from it.

Not knowing what to do, she decided to confront her parents in her first year.

Not wanting to do anything, since it wouldn't help her with her possible future career was a very risky step.

For her parents, it's not even worth mentioning, they wanted to freak out, exchanging the stability of a degree for a go-kart race, for them it's crazy, especially when they've always prepared themselves financially for it, when they always prepared for her to enter university, which is not the cheapest thing,and it was in these uncertainties and in the midst of this conflict of whether or not to go to college that she tried to get interested in more conventional sports.

But when she tried out, she was terrible at soccer, average at lacrosse, slow at basketball, tough at gymnastics, shy at cheerleading, short at volleyball, afraid of water when swimming and she's a girl, she couldn't play American football.

It was during one of these that she found herself making a fuss.

-You're going to regret it, you know, you're losing the best wide receiver the world has ever seen -  She yelled.

One of the guys looked at her in fright, while others wondered who she was.

-You know you were running for the cornerback spot, right? A blond guy tells her.

-Yeah, I know, that's exactly why - She sighs tiredly.

-Because you came to try for the spot right here, you know they don't choose girls easily.

-I’ve tried everywhere, I came here just to cause trouble, I had nothing to do” She confesses, leaving him confused.

-Really?

-Yes-They end up laughing.

-You don’t like a specific sport, maybe if you try there you’ll do better, maybe explain to the coach that you like it and want to learn and she’ll let you stay-He suggests.

-I like watching, but not putting it into practice, I’m doing this more so my parents can see that I’m not good, I already know I’m not good-She sighs.

-I’m sorry-He gives her a half smile, until she feels a crack.

-Geez, I haven’t tried baseball yet-she remembers and gets up, leaving the equipment there.

-They don’t accept girls either-He reminds her.

-That’s exactly why-Kayleigh laughs.

-By the way, what's your name?-She stops, holding the door.

-I'm Joseph-he says shyly.

-I'm Kayleigh, see you soon, Joseph.

And yes, she tried baseball, but the first time she held the bat, it ended up between the legs of the boy next to her, who fell to the ground groaning in pain.

Kayleigh was thrown out.

Fate was cruel to her when it came to sports, but it only reinforced the idea that she had to continue in karting.

After meeting Joseph, she would see him someday, as she thought, but she would see him every day, until the prom, when after two years together, she finally realized that they would have to separate by force,and how that hurt, not only for her but for him too.

-I can’t believe you’re going to Europe, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m going to tell Ohio State to go fuck itself, I’ll go with you wherever you have to go, but I don’t want to be away from you.-His cheeks already reddened from the cold, he said.

-Stop saying that, you’ve been given an incredible opportunity, you have to take advantage of it.-She tried to convince him.

-But I can’t imagine being away from you.-Hearing that, she lay down on his lap.

-We’ll get through this, you’ll see, and we’ll be strong.

The first year away was the hardest, not only for Joseph, but for her parents too, because seeing their daughter try to make a living racing karts, traveling all over Europe, was something that made them so proud, but at the same time so apprehensive.The second year seemed to be easier. They were already well accustomed to the routine of video calls, social media, messages, letters. They sent polaroids to hang up. Once, Joseph even caught himself putting his perfume on the paper to make sure she could smell him. They exchanged gifts, everything.

Until the careers arrived on television, Joseph could sit down and look for the channel to watch her and she could pick up the phone and watch the college divisionals.The fifth year passed, the sixth too, and then the seventh, when Joe finally took off in his career in American football, being drafted by the Cincinnati Bengals.

And the following year, Kayleigh did what she never imagined she would be able to do: she reached Formula One, after almost dying waiting for this event. Of course the party was huge, she returned to her country with all possible honor, suddenly a little girl from Ohio was going to compete for a title for a team and everyone wanted to know what this little girl does and better, where are the American boys who are not having the same prominence?But she could never say that it had any real effect on the American public. Formula One is still a playboy thing for them, to the point where they even consider golf a more accessible sport.

Just as she was there for Joe's big debut, he was there for his big debut, of course,but their contracts ended up preventing more contact. They had to train, they had to focus, they couldn't travel long distances or do physical work before their work, and they also couldn't be too far away from their work.

It allowed them to spend a few moments together. She would catch his last games if he made the playoffs and he would catch her first races,so much time apart didn't make their love diminish. On the contrary, seeing each other's achievements seemed to only strengthen their love for each other.And even without knowing, there was someone who was not at all happy with this growing love.

-Joe said he'll call me soon.-She jumps around the room excitedly, waiting for someone to call her to give her the prize.

-Hmm- Max makes an annoyed face, leaving his helmet on the stand.

-That's cute, it's the middle of the night in the United States, isn't it?-Carlos asks her, all smiles.

-Yes, it's the middle of the night and he stayed up.-She doesn't hide her smile.

-Really the last of the romantics.-Max rolls his eyes.

-Stop being annoying, she's so happy.-Carlos watches her like a doting father.

Max glares at him, enough for the Spaniard to avoid him and stay quiet.

And of course, the next day, as always happens after every race, Joe sends her a huge bouquet, with a dedication and, when he is present, romantic letters.For most people around him, it is just his European or rather, Dutch humor.

But for those who actually live with him and see the mistakes he makes and notices, the way he treats her when she talks about other things and when she talks about Joe, they understand very well.

Max messed up her hair, trying to free her mind from those thoughts, from that feeling, but realized it was difficult.After another podium with her, another trip to a random bar with everyone involved, the country's biggest celebrities and everything else, he could no longer stand two things.

The first, Charles flirting even with the walls of the place.

The second, the fact that she trusted George more than him, to tell him the reason for her 37th breakup with Joe.

-I honestly don't understand you guys, one moment you say that distance is good, the next you break up because of distance, make up your mind damn it-George, tired of the situation, slammed his hand on the table.He fixed his hair, looked around and composed himself.

-Sorry man, I got carried away-He spoke like most people do sometimes, treating her like a man.

-I know it's not the most normal thing to do, but it tires me out-She said finally, she didn't want to waste her friend's night with this, much less make him occupy his mind with his problems.

She went to the bar to order another drink, without realizing who was next to her.

-Did you bump into something?-She heard someone ask and then looked to the side to see Max.

-What do you mean?-She immediately became confused.

-Your leg is kind of purple,-he says.

-Oh, let's just say I might have fallen on my suitcase- She rolls her eyes.

-It's the third time this season.-He holds back his laughter.

-She goes everywhere and sometimes it happens.-She shrugs.

-Your suitcase can make you more purple than your boyfriend, I think it's time to trade him for her.-Max takes a sip of his drink, savoring every note of it, satisfied with yet another mean comment about Joe. He knows how distance affects him and that's nothing more than a psychological game, sending indirect messages that hurt.

As always, she remained silent, discreetly observing her leg and trying to cover the bruise, with her face reddened.

-I can't blame him, he's going after his dream." She answers for the first time, even if a while later and too quietly, as if she wasn't even there anymore.

Until the girl asks herself, why is Max worried about this?

For a second, Max almost misses the destination of the glass, looking at her.

-Really, there are men whose only dream is to chase a ball, not to have trophies and a woman who loves him.-He takes the opportunity to retort.

-Thanks for ruining the rest of my night, Max, you're always so sensitive.-She answers, choked, finishes her drink and walks towards the exit with long strides.

Max remains there at the bar, staring at the various bottles, some full, others half full, thinking that once again she leaves angry with him, because he doesn't defend her dear Joe.

-You don't have to be so rude all the time, I know you're used to guys around here, but you have to realize that there are girls around here now and they deserve to be treated with kindness and affection, did you know that women are people too?Lewis appears at her side, irritated by the situation.

-Have you stopped talking, Lewis Senna Hamilton?He scoffed.

Max was already drunk enough to almost drag himself back to the hotel.

And even after spending the next few hours thinking about whether or not to knock on her door, as he always does when he’s drunk, he decided it wasn’t the right time.

When he woke up with the sun and that strange feeling, since that’s usually when he goes to sleep, thanks to the jet lag, he allowed himself the luxury of staying a few more minutes in that comfortable bed, under all those sheets, grabbing the fluffiest of his pillows to hug, trying to get it into his head that he was hugging her, trying to get it into his mind that he woke up next to her that morning, it seems he was so used to doing this every morning that with each passing day, the images became clearer in his mind and the sensations stronger.

And for the next race he had a surprise, he jumped out and took off his helmet and head protector, looking in disbelief at the smiling couple on the sidelines watching the track.

-Joe, should I congratulate you or say my condolences? Max gives his best sarcastic smile.

-I don't understand- Joe's radiant smile fades.

-What do you expect from a player? Max grumbles, he had meters around to pass and reach his destination, a screen to review his training, but he made sure to pass between the two, bumping into Joe.

He placed his helmet on the table next to him, silently completing the malicious thought, about his possible dubious qi, when he saw Joe approaching through the shadow on the ground, his smile only grew wider.

Kayleigh decided to leave, aware that they would have some kind of argument.

-I don't understand your stubbornness, Max- Joe confessed, watching Max from a few inches away.

-I say it over and over again, what can you expect from a player? Max rolls his eyes.

-And what are you, don’t you play in this?Joe retorts.

-I’m a pilot, it’s different-he says, convinced.

On the side of the track, tired and just waiting for time to pass, the topic, as always, was just one.

-Max is PMSing- Lando comments while sitting on the floor.

-We should take up a collection and pay a gynecologist, so she can prescribe some medicine, I don’t know- Hulkenberg adds.

-I think what he needs is a psychiatrist, one minute he’s calm, the next he wants to kill you, he’s crazy- Lewis concludes.

-He just needs some time to calm down, recharge his batteries and rest- George defends him.

But he ends up getting angry looks from everyone.

-For this and other reasons, I stay away from that snake pit they call Red Bull, God forbid I have to deal with that creature - Charles says, looking disdainfully at their reserved space.

-No offense, Kay- He makes his observation.

-No offense, I can't stand it anymore- She confesses.

-Not even Kayleigh throws this tantrum when she's on her period, honestly we don't even know when that happens, thanks for sparing us- Lando thanks her, making her laugh.

-I think there are certain details that aren't necessary- She comments.

Max walks past the group with firm steps.

-No one moves their ass in this place, then they complain about the podium- He sends the indirect message with his angry eyes.

Everyone there exchanges glances.

-Hold the Japanese- Ricciardo warns.

-Why? Charles finds the request strange.

-I’m warning you, hold the Japanese guy-he repeats.

And indeed, poor Tsunoda is at breaking point with Max.

Joe left, but Max’s sourness didn’t.

During breakfast at the hotel, Pierre’s strawberries were more sour than expected.

-Her boyfriend leaves and doesn’t get a bruise on his neck, he’s a real wimp- Max grumbles, savoring his waffles.

George’s eyes widen, he wipes his mouth with the napkin next to him.

-Max, how rude. He glances at Max out of the corner of his eye.

But Pierre has the most priceless face, he looks like he’s eaten something spoiled.

-Jesus, you weirdo, who says that, keeps an eye on others, has he become a tax inspector now? He left his comment.

-Watch out guys, there are people watching our necks- Lando dramatically covers his with his sweatshirt.

-I think you should start thinking about where and when you say certain things, Max- Carlos warns him, earning his laugh.

-Why? Do you know anything?” The Dutchman stared at him.

-Common sense Max, just common sense- he retorted.

-That was ridiculously sexist, Max, if that’s what you say, imagine what you think- Lewis gives him his best disapproving look.

-Have you finished your testimony Lewis?Max provokes him.

Max’s life became increasingly complicated there, with the boys and his provocations, little by little choosing to be alone, but not as much as Kayleigh's, who, in addition to having to put up with his mood swings, also has to put up with Joe's suspicions.

His jealousy used to have no name, but now it has a first and last name. Kayleigh only sees one reason for it, the fact that they work together, nothing else could make sense, andexplaining it doesn't seem to help, Joe found himself wondering why they exchanged smiling handshakes live, if she hates him so much.

-Do you really think that after the race, I'll remember how much I hate him? Of course not, Joe. I just think that I won or that I need to improve, hug everyone involved and leave. - She explains, pacing back and forth across the room.

-I don't want to be the annoying guy, but he doesn't look like he hates you, he seems to take advantage of your innocence. - Joe says almost desperately.

-What innocence, Joe? - She asks him.

-Kay, I don't want to fight over this guy. I'm just saying that this isn't something that makes me comfortable. You're walking around half the world with them in a place full of men working, next to several men, and that bothers me. Not only because of jealousy, I don't know, maybe they'll try to do something to you. -

-Jesus, Joe, don't say something like that. I understand your side, okay. I'm not saying you're wrong, but you need to trust me. I won't betray your trust. I haven't done that in all these years. Why would I do it now? - She tries to calm him down.

-Sorry for stressing you out. - He sighs heavily.

And it's been like this for a while.

Even when they're not at work, free to visit somewhere, Max seems to show up in the same place as her or simply in a place nearby, which makes Joe even more suspicious.

But Max couldn't stop there. When he saw her calmly standing there taking some notes, Max approached her with the excuse of seeing what she was writing down and it was then that he took the opportunity to bring his face too close to hers, which left her somewhat speechless. He placed his hand on her hip, giving her a discreet caress.

-Studying for the race, kitten?- He smiled at her reaction, a mix of confusion and embarrassment.

-Sorry Kay, I forget that you're sensitive to male touches. He laughed, leaving her blushing and finally going where he wanted.

She closed her eyes, not liking it at all. His provocations were getting more and more personal with Joe.

Whenever Max managed to get the slightest hint, he would walk away smiling.

But this time, George decided to confront him.

-You should be ashamed of touching women who are in a committed relationship inappropriately- he says, somewhat indignantly.

-Have you had your tea yet, dear English nobleman?" George rolls his eyes.

-Max, I'm serious, that's not cool, it could cause unnecessary confusion- he insists.

-You look so cute saying 'unnecessary'.Max laughs at the guy, who decides to get more serious.

-When Joe gets pissed off and comes to punch you in the face, don't tell me I never warned you.

-Before he punches me in the face, he'll punch you in the face, because you're the little friend who's always around, hugging and advising when they break up. Do you really think he's going to come after me, George?

-I'm in a committed relationship, I've never done this with bad intentions. He doesn't like the accusation.

-Wow, now I'm confused, is this a swing or a threesome? Max laughs to himself.

George stopped walking at the same moment, offended and even more shocked by another accusation.

When he realized it, Max took a few steps back and ruffled his hair.

-Just kidding, George, you're so cute.

But even his happiest days get bad when he sees the two of them together on social media, kisses, dates, more kisses. Max is sure that if Joe knew how jealous he is of him, for being able to love the woman he loves, he would definitely dig a hole to the center of the earth and stay there, far from Max's eyes.

He has thought countless times about using Joe's number saved on his phone, to send some manipulated photo or one that would have a double meaning, but knowing the two of them, he believes that even that would be reason to break up and get back together after a few days.

But it's these photos, the flowers, the letters, her giggles in the corners of the hotel, that make him freak out when he shouldn't. After being next to her in one of the endless meetings and noticing his new gift, a ring on her finger, that was enough for Max to find any reason to start stomping his feet and shouting. And sometimes he even measures her before the race, in the best possible way, as if he were casting a curse on her. -Damn, did you two fight? The boy asks her. -Honestly, I don't know, he left the meeting shouting, now he just looks at me like that. She sighs tiredly. At one of the parties, thanks to Charlie, he can talk to her a little. -You know, girls, sometimes we reach 200 kilometers per hour.He boasts, the trio of friends start drooling in French. -You could say that I am speed. He gives her his most seductive smile.

Max denied it and snorted.

-If I say something like that, I'll get a restraining order.- He takes a good sip of his drink.

-Also, with a sensitive mood like that, you can be sure that many would be afraid. She teased.

-So I don't have a chance? He used his playful tone.

-You're quite cheeky, you know. She lightly took his hand as a quick friendly caress, more for his level of need, that wasn't just a caress.

Max took her hand, lifting it and bringing it to his lips, finally leaving a caress there.

She was embarrassed, but she couldn't see any harm in anything Max did; for her, that was just an apology for the previous treatment.

But from that day on, it could be said that Max started to look at her more, in increasingly shameless ways.

Once again, with a podium in his hands, he waited for her, making sure to catch her eyes, just so she could see him measuring her completely, and she could see that it really affected her.

Or another time, when she was already embarrassed by him staring at her, while she watched the screen with the replay of some moments of the race, he caressed her face, giving her a wink.

She certainly doesn't know what to do with that.

Joe can't dream of that, while Max seems to love it.

But what she didn't expect was for someone to tell Joe about the flirting and say that she is increasingly cornered by the situation.

Unfortunately for Joe, in the middle of his season and fortunately for Max, in the middle of Joe's season.

One day after getting out of the car, Max was waiting for her, not giving her much space to walk away, the girl took off her helmet without knowing what that was, does he want to solve something? Are they going to slap each other or something like that? She wondered.

-How are you, Max? She looked at him.

-You were amazing, you know that? He spoke softly, raising his hands again to her hips and patting them a few times.

-Thanks, I have to go - she said, without giving Max any space. He wanted to know how she was when her only option was to be ridiculously close to him.

The group was confused, to say the least, they didn't know what the hell was going on and what the atmosphere was like.

As Max walked away with firm steps, when he saw that she was far away, he decided to try to get along with the Red Bull team.

-Sometimes I forget that she's not a guy - he laughed for no reason, but he's not like the other boys, who really do forget that she's the woman there. Max remembers who she is every second.

But Joe's situation is nothing that a phone call can't solve.

-Joe, I don't understand who told you that? He asked.

-Someone I trust- Joe justifies himself.

-Joe, I'm going to be honest, if I had the chance to sleep with her, you can be sure I would have done it already, as many times as I could and you can be sure that every time I lie down in my bed, I wonder why it hasn't happened yet and guess what, it's your fault- Max decides to be honest just to hear what Joe has to say.

-You're really brave to say something like that, you know? You know what, I'm going to kill you- Joe gets upset enough for Max to have some difficulty understanding what he's saying, the Dutchman gave his best laugh.

-You know, just a simple touch on her hip makes her all embarrassed, it makes me wonder how long it's been since she's been with a real man, but apparently I don't think that's ever happened, especially since she's only been with you- He continued his provocations.

-Joe, it's really cool that you're the cute guy who gives flowers after every race, gives gifts, writes letters, but if I were you I'd start to worry, because there are a lot of people watching her and I'm one of those people- Joe snorted from the other side.

-Because you can be sure that if I were her boyfriend, her legs wouldn't need a stupid touch to go weak, a simple look would be enough to make her remember a lot of things, things like that my friend, let's be honest, we're among friends here, you don't- Max stabbed the last time, hearing a sound of something breaking and he was sure it wasn't a glass but the phone.

Kayleigh almost didn't find out anything, they both avoided the subject just waiting for the other to tell.

But as the races went by, the atmosphere between Max and her seemed increasingly confused.

With the end of another race, Max lifted her up in a hug that at the moment, out of joy, she didn't stop to think about everything that was happening, but Joe did.

-The thing is, if it were me, it wouldn't be just fucking work- Joe shouted loud enough for her to have to pull the phone away from her ear.

-It was just a hug Joe, we've been together for I don't know three, four years, we work side by side, I understand your jealousy, don't think I don't understand, I do understand and in your place I would be like that too, I'll talk to him okay, I promise I'll talk to him and we'll work this out- She tries to calm him down having this idea.

-Kayleigh Hawkins I trust you, please don't make me lose that trust in you, I love you regardless of whether we can't spend a month together without breaking up, I don't know what I would do without you- He asks sighing heavily on the other side.

-I never did anything to make you doubt me, you know that Joe, if I didn't like you, I wouldn't be with you until today, swallowing all these breakups, just promise me that you'll calm down, okay? I love you - She says finally.

She went to sleep and tried to calm her mind, she needed to be calm and talk to Max the right way, she knows how he is, even if she's a little uncomfortable with all this extra contact they're having, there's no reason to do this to Joe, to let him suffer with a situation that's already driving him crazy, he's far away and the only thing she can do is trust that they're telling him the truth.

She got ready, took pictures with everyone who asked and went into the nightclub, this time looking for Max, the first thing she thought would be that he'd be at the bar, as he always does, but nothing.

She spotted George and it doesn't hurt to try.

She nudged him lightly so that he would lean in without leaving the circle of conversation.

-Have you seen Max? She asks him.

-Thank God I haven't seen Satan today. I heard he came to Earth in the body of this Max guy, but honestly I think Max is the one possessing the devil. George turns back to the group of friends. Okay, that's not the information she wanted to hear today.

She asked Lando the question, indiscreetly interrupting him and a girl she doesn't know, earning a free kick.

-Man, I haven't seen him - Pierre says, already out of habit in the male environment.

She sighs, imagining two hypotheses: either he's hiding out with some girls or he's gone back to the hotel.

She quickly makes sure to send a message to Joe, saying that he's definitely with some woman and that she's going to wait a little longer to look for him again. She rolls her eyes at having to do that, still feeling like she's going to be really embarrassed.

She picked up her drink and decided to walk around again until she saw him walking outside with his glass and sitting alone at a table.

She hurried, she needed to be quick, she didn't want anyone to arrive in the middle of the process.

When she walked through the door, it was clear that he found it strange that she went there, he gave her a small smile that was returned.

-Can I sit here? She politely asked for one of the empty seats.

He put his hands under the armrest of his chair with a big smile.

-You can sit wherever you want.

-Okay - she mumbled tensely.

-What do you need? He asked her, making her a little embarrassed.

If he was having a bad day, it could get even worse, so she decided to be as cautious as possible.

-Joe talked to me yesterday, he was a little upset about our hug, he got jealous of you and you know, I don't want that to get in the way of anything, not you, me or him, so if you could reduce the physical contact it would be a big help. She smiles nervously.

Joe said he's jealous? he asks with the same apathetic expression.

It was then that his laughter startled her.

-Yeah, I know, it's irrational. She quickly agrees, starting to lose her voice and blush with embarrassment, she didn't need to be making such a fool of herself, she thought.

Max froze when he heard that and with his best ironic tone, asked her to continue.

-We've known each other for years, we work together on the same team, it's crazy to say this, I'm really sorry for this boring conversation, but I promised him I'd talk to you, you know- she's already preparing for the next kick, he'd probably say it's a favor not to have to hug her and that would be the kindest thing she could imagine that could come out of his mouth.

-First of all, I'm an educated man, so I wouldn't be talking nonsense, smiling, complimenting, or any of that crap to someone I'm not interested in. We both know you're smart, you don't need to force it so much. She's in a mix of understanding and not understanding.

He looks at her and realizes he's only confused her even more.

-Tell your boyfriend, if he's jealous, he'll have to have the balls to come here to solve it - Max says, enjoying the situation.

-This will create an unnecessary situation, you know, you don't need all this for a misunderstanding- she explains again.

-Let me explain something to you, since you didn't have the tact to notice, from the damn moment I met you, well before I knew that this idiot was your boyfriend, I was already in love with you and something stopped me from talking to you, my girlfriend. Now I'm single and nothing stops me from talking to you. Are you going to say you never noticed? Her feet fell, as she tried to reason, she felt a cold hand go up her thigh. She froze there, not knowing what to do, looking at Max who had the most peaceful expression in the world.

She looked down, seeing the hem of her loose black dress rising higher and higher, exposing the area. She couldn't understand how Max, who distributes rudeness, now had a hand on her thigh. She delicately brought her hand to meet his, making eye contact with him again, but when she thought she would stop her hand, she only made him squeeze the spot and get even closer to where he shouldn't.

-Max I think you- She prepares to get up, but he is faster.

-Sit down, we're not done talking - he uses his most gentle tone, but even so it's hard to say anything.

-That idiot Joe has even threatened to kill me, you know, because he knows that I like you and I made one thing clear to him and now it's going to be clear to you, the only thing I need is for you to say yes, you know where my room is, it's always next to yours, it's not hard to find, when you get tired of this idiot you can knock on my door. - He walks away.

-That's not how it works, it's not about getting tired of my boyfriend -She is cut off.

-I don't know how and what you like about him, so yes, it's a matter of getting tired of him

Even with the shock, she stayed quiet and didn't say anything to anyone, she thought that would make things easier, but everything got worse with Max.

Now besides being a sweetheart, he's simply everywhere.

This includes grabbing her hand when she is focused on the training screens, indiscreetly measuring her and, what has caught the team's attention the most, the number of times he touches her hair.

On another day, finishing some notes about the current track, she doesn't know when he appeared, but he started massaging her shoulders, slowly moving up to her neck. The first thing she did was cough to discreetly send him away, which didn't help.

-You need to relax, Kay, you're too tense - he says quietly.

One of the guys on the team walked by them.

-I'm enjoying seeing you helping each other, Red Bull spirit - the guy leaves smiling.

-Max, that's enough, you're going too far -she says through clenched teeth.

-That's my specialty. He laughed, one of his arms serving as support so he could slide his hand down her spine as far as he could reach, slowly moving up, noticing her held breath.

-You need to relax, why don't you take a deep breath and let my hands help you?He suggested.

-I need you to stop with the double-meaning jokes - She asked.

He didn't answer, he just brought his fingers to the back of her neck, massaging the tips of them and moving down a little, he got as close as the backless bench would allow, pressing her head against his torso, and finally sliding his fingers from her jaw until they almost reached her lap.

-And what kind of massage is this? Can you explain it to me? She asked reluctantly.

-A casual massage, like any other, I think that massage is more about touching someone's skin until you see relaxation appear, and that angle of you is wonderful - He teased, aware that with the force used there it would be difficult for her to move.

-Max, I didn't know you could give a massage - Lando shouts from outside.

-That's great for those who wear a helmet.

-I'll have one - Lando says, and Charles agrees next to him.

-Me too.

-Sure, boys. I'll be right there when I'm done. He smiles at the two of them, who continue on their way.

-Why aren't you writing it down? Did you forget what you wanted? He gives his most fake tone of concern.

But by giving her the massage right there, he makes it difficult for her to say anything.

He then gently lowers his fingers and finishes, bending down a little so that he's at the height of her neck.

-Stop pretending you didn't like it. Considering that you're dating Joe and how much your skin is crawling, I think you should go to the bathroom and get yourself together - he pats her shoulder.

-It's great to see how satisfying these hands are, not just on the steering wheel. He laughs, walking away and giving her another wink. Kayleigh closed the notebook, wanting to bury her face in the ground. This can't be happening. Max can't be serious. But he is very serious and to make the test complete, he decided to tease her with a little more than words. The situation has already escalated to a point where she doesn't know if she can keep denying it and, worse, what to say to Joe when he calls at the end of the day and she has the same scared expression. Suddenly, the guy who was a jerk to everyone has become an angel with her and, on top of that, says he's in love with her, to the point of making a scene. The point is, she doesn't know how far he's going with the description, but Max knows well.

Tsunoda, who is next to the two, was a bit embarrassed by his face towards her and hers towards the floor. He doesn't know if coughing would help to start a conversation or if anything else, the atmosphere around them became unpleasant and even tense. 

She was grateful when she saw Carlo approaching, smiling as always, and greeted everyone, but before they could say anything. 

-We would make a beautiful couple, wouldn't we? He points at her, who freezes in disbelief. 

-Isn't she with Joe? Carlos asks. 

-I didn't ask about him, I'm talking about us. Tsunoda and Sainz stare at each other, not knowing what to say, along with her, who has wide eyes. 

-Of course, they would be great, she's very pretty and you - Carlos is cut off. 

-Really, she's beautiful. Max gives his best smile to Kay, who pretends not to have heard anything.

-I heard Lando calling me, bye guys. He left in a hurry without looking back. It didn't matter that they must have been there for an event or something, he would arrive at the last minute and that was it.

But her destination ended up being the same as his.

Max took advantage of the hotel corridor being empty, to reach her and hug her body from behind, holding her. Kay moved, trying to get out of the tight spot, and then Max decided to play it low, going up to her neck and nibbling it.

-Can't you see that it's crowded here, can't you see that this is going to hurt me? She asked him irritably, trying to stop him from continuing to caress her.

-You said that I always mistreated you, I'm just treating you the way I should, making my interests obvious to everyone. He replied.

And then only two breaths were heard in the hallway, Max continued the attack on her neck, sliding his hand until he reached the hem of the woman's pants where she quickly grabbed him.

-Are you going to run away again? You know that the more you run the better it is for me, because then I'll feel like I've won you over. He then released her, turning her to face him.

When he realized, he was against a wall in one of the many empty hallways, Max brought his hand to her face, squeezing her cheeks.

-Do you know how much it hurt me to spend four years of my life, seeing you with that clown, while you were always by my side? Do you know what it's like to see him deliver flowers, letters and then suddenly it all ends, you feel hope, then you come back and all this repeats itself over and over again, meanwhile, I'm the guy who's always here, do you know how horrible that is? He asked her somewhat irritated, not with her anymore, but with the situation.

-Not even when you were hospitalized after a crash, he showed up, like a good teammate I went there, do you understand now how much I need you to dump him and let me make you truly happy? he asked, letting his hand slip.

He steps away slightly, Kay runs her hands through her hair, messing it up, looking to one side nothing but an empty hallway, looking to the other the same and Max in front of her waiting for the answer.

-You guys break up all the damn time, break up with him, spend some time with me and then if you regret it, which I highly doubt, you go back to him. Max waits for her decision, staring at her.

-I can't... he quickly cuts her off.

-You can't throw away your childhood love, a beautiful childhood love that you see for three months and then only next year."

She swallows that.

-I may not be the nicest guy, nor as loved by everyone as he is, but I will be here and I know very well how much you want someone who is here. He gently takes her hand.

-You want someone who will hold your hand, praise you, watch you run, can do something stupid together, someone who understands you, someone who is not so fickle, someone who is here to wake up next to you, who will hug you at night, who can touch you and he can't do any of that but I can and I want to. The distance between the two became short again until the wall appeared.

Kayleigh took a deep breath and nodded slightly, she was afraid that she was under the effect of his power of persuasion and even more so of those eyes, but she couldn't deny it. She did miss Joe's presence, she loved him, not having him around was always the biggest obstacle.

And this obstacle would only have one solution, one of the two of them giving up their careers.

The fact is that once again they have been separated for a week, but as always she cries on the day and then pretends that nothing happened and they are together.

-We broke up last week - she begins, still thoughtful. -We can try, but I don't want anyone to know, because if nothing works out, I don't want it to become a mess, or for anyone to talk about it - she asks. -They'll start seeing me smile, it'll be kind of obvious - he approaches. -Are you sure?" He asks cautiously first. -Yes - he agrees. Max presses the elevator button, leaves a hand caressing her ear, preparing to finally kiss her for the first time. Max never hides his desire, much less his rush, but even so, he takes Kayleigh by surprise when he lets his hands roam guiltlessly over her body in that hallway.

He finally felt the weight, anger and hurt of all those years being thrown aside, being extracted from her body, he wouldn't say she wanted to wait so long, but being able to drive Joe crazy, just like he had been all this time was wonderful, now he finally has what he wants, her.

[39oa]

roboquinn!!!

thank you and tc for asking <3 but also girl this is literally just YOUR commentator au that i wrote down notes/snippets for and then gave up on as we kept talking because i was delusionally hoping you'd do it for us LMFAO. it's a very bare doc with only lapslock excerpts but i'm still attached to the concept and have many thoughts about how their dynamic would work... also funny because we came up with this like 8 months before quinn even got the c but in all our notes we were just like yeah obviously he'd retire as captain lol

anyway the thing with 4321 is that i would personally read a lot of different au permutations for them, especially anything involving umich/Midwestern College Hockey dynamics because there's a lot of au potential there. commentator au specifically was = what if robo never made it to the nhl? + what if quinn retired prematurely because of injury and both of them went into broadcasting?, and i think we'd decided on robo doing play-by-play because he has more natural personality and quinn taking on the ex-player analyst role alongside him. however what's most crucial to ME about non-player!robo is that i think of him as someone who is very secure in himself and almost neurotically dedicated to always doing the right thing/making the correct life decisions, so the only reason he doesn't make it professionally is that his family moves to michigan a lot later and he and his brothers miss out on crucial junior development opportunities, so he realizes that hockey is a pipe dream and decides to treat it as a hobby and gets a journalism degree or something. this also makes the nick sibling dynamic more interesting because in my head nick would still try to become a hockey player since he's way more stubborn and impulsive, but he'd max out as an echl/ahl lifer and it becomes less of like "look at how much my athlete brother has succeeded!!" but in a way still robo being more successful because he got a good degree and stayed realistic about his future and makes good money now.

i think 4321 is basically interesting because everything in the world for them boils down to Siblings and they're the oldest of their respective nhl sibling groups but still have very different upbringings. i love the idea of having history long before they meet as a broadcasting duo because robo also went to umich and watched some of his games, but quinn obviously not remembering him... i also think in this universe quinn retires early but not like egregiously so and therefore still has a historic career with the canucks, but then he still struggles to grapple with that because maybe at this age the devils are like a total wagon and he has to cover playoff games for jack and luke for example. AND IN HIS ENTIRE CAREER HE NEVER WINS A CUP!!! plus i think of quinn spending his entire career in vancouver and depending on petey way more than he'd thought he did and now being like unmoored from his second home while robo is very used to traveling and is extremely independent and self-sufficient, and then it's like You think you're the most adjusted member of your family because you're the oldest brother and spent decades living alone on a whole different coast but the reality is actually that you were still deeply accustomed to the insular niche of an nhl team bubble and are being forced to navigate what it means to be an adult for the very first time when everyone you ever cared about is still stuck in that environment. and you're in your 30s!

also the reason quinn gets hired is because robo used to broadcast with pavs (who eventually leaves the role because he's old and wants to spend time with his family), so by now he's totally used to working with hotshot american ex-players and is very blasé around Rich NHL Dudes, and again like with nick is basically the more adjusted one who kind of sees how like quinn is basically functionally alone and doesn't have any systems around him that aren't 100% about hockey and thus latches on to him a little bit. so the dynamic is like >we are coworkers but also do you even know how to book a hotel by yourself? and quinn thinking robo is a nerd at first but eventually deferring to his 100% faith in himself and ease with which he navigates social situations.

also robo would have longterm gf because it's the Right Thing To Do and he's never thought that there was another way to live... like he's adjusted to the point of being so mindlessly socially integrated that he never even considers the fact that maybe he isn't even into women, he just does it because it's what he's meant to do, whereas quinn has way more inner turmoil and could never really hold a relationship down and has a million crises about it and then stuff happens and they get together in a random hotel room in finland during world juniors blah blah more bad decisions and realizations the end. please write them for me 😭

[strugglingyetvibing]

I watch the Sky broadcast and omg I think the TV directory this weekend was just generally weird. Lots of skipped replays and cutting away from the action. The commentator set wasn’t great either (I miss crofty 😭)

forgive me for being a tad late on this! it's currently around the 90 degrees F (32 degrees C) mark, and has been all weekend and will be for the next few days, and my apartment doesn't have air conditioning (i'm currently rocking with two box fans that i'm toting from room to room lol). so most of the past few days for me have been about staying cool and hydrated, and i haven't had the brainpower to finish this as fast as i wanted to. so apologies! i think i switched all of the 'today's to 'sunday's, haha.

~~~

i agree with you! and i think we saw a lot of the same things, too.

this is going to get long! i'll put a 'keep reading' to keep dashes clean, but please feel free to read on! this is where i'm going to go into a bit of detail on the differences between the sky stream and the f1tv international stream, my thoughts about the actual broadcast (not the race, but the structure and flow of the broadcast itself), and the commentary team (harry benjamin replacing crofty as the main commentator and how he did, and how the rest of the team did as well). please let me know what you think! sunday's broadcast was very interesting in addition to the race itself.

i believe sky and f1tv international share a lot of, but not all of their broadcast. for example, i've heard that people who watch sky actually see ted when crofty and the gang check in with him, but the f1tv international stream doesn't show him. we'll hear him, but we still have the view of track/garage action or crowd shots. additionally, f1tv international will sometimes hear team radios twice: once on our stream with no commentary around it, and once more a few minutes later when the commentators hear and react to the radio, presumably on the sky stream. finally, f1tv doesn't always show what the commentators are seeing and talking about. for example, a commentator will say something like "and if you look at this aston martin coming up now..." but the international stream will be showing something completely different, like a haas or a pit lane shot or something. these discrepancies, as far as i've been able to see in my now year of watching f1tv international, are normal and expected (and comedic most of the time, especially when someone is trying to explain something technical and we're seeing a fan happy at being on tv).

all of that aside, i agree that there were quite a few issues with the stream all throughout the weekend. now, i may be picking out more issues due to trying to pay more attention to the actual stream because of crofty's replacement, harry, but there were still a few unfortunate things that could have gone better.

a large part of the issues i saw were related to graphics and replays, like you mentioned. when i was liveblogging the race, i was trying to keep up with pit stops (mainly because there wasn't a lot else going on), but i often couldn't find the actual stop time. usually, even if the broadcast doesn't show the shot of the driver pitting, they'll put up a timing graphic of how long the driver has been in the pits and how long the stop time was. however, there were probably about five times during this race alone that the graphic either came up and never showed the stop time (which is arguably the most important data point on that graphic), or the graphic glitched out/disappeared before the stop time was posted. sure, it was frustrating from the angle of me not being able to post the times here, but it was more frustrating from the angle of wanting to know the stop times. there was another time where a driver, i forget who but i want to say a red bull, was coming in for a stop and when the graphic came up it said that the driver had already been in the pits for over a minute despite the broadcast following the car to the box and showing the car driving and stopping normally, making that timing literally impossible. the whole thing felt rather unprofessional, and could have been wholly avoided by either putting up the correct data with the correct graphics at the correct times or just not putting up the graphics at all. however, i realize there's an issue in not putting up graphics at all and withholding driver data that viewers can reasonably expect to see, so i appreciate the attempt. however, considering this is a basic part of current streams, and wasn't some sort of new graphic they were trying, they should have been able to do better.

i had forgotten about this until i watched a matt & tommy video (i think it was the funniest tweets video from imola), but the broadcast also at one point had put up a graphic saying lewis had a pit lane start (which he did not). there's like more graphics issues i'm already forgetting about, but it was not a great weekend for the graphics team.

the biggest replay fumble i think we both likely noticed was the race start replay, where they cut to the race start replay (i believe without the transition graphic), the replay either didn't start or only went a few frames, then suddenly cut back to the live race. the commentators noted how odd it was, doing their best to smooth out the shift back to the live race, and then a few minutes later the race start replay ran as normal, transition graphic and all. it was, in a word, weird, and having the commentator team, new or not, remark on it is not a great thing to have happen. i'm likely forgetting other replay blips as well, but there were definitely a few this weekend. the broadcast team's job is to run the broadcast smoothly enough to not be noticed. this weekend, they were definitely noticed.

now, for the commentators. i think my opinion that i mentioned around last friday still largely stands - for his first ever weekend commentating the f1 race on sky/f1tv international, harry benjamin did a pretty decent job. i'm extending him some grace with things like stumbling over words or missing team radio or filling 'dead air,' mainly because even if he's commentated before on other channels, it's probably very intimidating to be the main commentator for sky/f1tv international.

however, i seemed to notice a significant uptick in opinionated commentating. what i mean by that isn't something like looking at lap data and saying that the lap was bad, or watching a driver fumble a corner and saying that they fumbled the corner. what i mean is that the commentators seemed to spend a significant amount of time talking about potential future contracts, where drivers could or 'should' go, or other commentary that i believe belongs in the tabloids. of course, the commentators are human and are absolutely allowed to have their opinions on drivers and have favorites and least favorites, and it would be weird of me to say that they shouldn't. but there's a time and a place to voice those opinions, and i believe that live on international television is not one of those times or places. and, i should say, i noticed this from the whole commentary team, not just harry. i'm of the mindset that for most things, unless it's been confirmed by the driver, team, f1 management, the fia, or the applicable primary source, then those conversations should stay out of the commentary box. if they were talking about those kinds of things because the session was boring, there are plenty of other things to talk about that steer clear of tabloid-esque topics. for imola specifically, they could have spoken about ayrton senna and/or roland ratzenberger and their impacts on racing, sebsatian vettel's tribute run and historical car run in honor of senna and raztenberger, where crofty is and why he's not here this weekend (and poke good fun at him), the brand new star of the paddock that is leo leclerc, or any other number of fun but still relevant topics that don't unnecessarily speculate on drivers and teams and don't take on tones of voice that could imply driver quality unnecessarily, which they also seemed to do throughout the weekend.

now, what i won't get into now (mainly because this post is already astronomically long (which i apologize for!)) is the supposed 'british/european bias' that many say the sky/f1tv international team has in which they are very open about liking british teams and drivers more than others and liking the eurpoean and british circuits much more than the other circuits on the calendar. i believe they do have this 'british/european bias,' and it reared its head throughout the weekend, notably with their excited repetition of imola being the start of the european leg of the season throughout the whole weekend. but because that's more of an overarching issue of the broadcast/commentary teams, i'll let it slide for this post because this is more about the imola weekend-specific issues i saw.

i think that covers most everything i noticed! i had no clue it would get this long, and if you're sticking with me all the way though to the end, thank you and i love you!! if i could, i would bake each of you a choccy chip cookie <3

let me know what you think! i'm sure i've missed things here and there, but i'll just blame that on the heat wave, haha. i'd be happy to yap some more about this, other things from the weekend, or anything else you've got on your mind!

thank you so much for the ask! thanks also for letting me go on so much about this, it was really bugging me this weekend, lol.

love you all!! <3

[vihattu-thethoroughbredofsin]

Hey, I saw your post on what the skybound comics did to Jetfire and I feel you. The comics already made it clear it wasn't for me when they killed Bumblebee, but I THOUGHT they would keep Jetfire around after that but no! I didn't read it, cause a friend was kind enough to spoil Bee's death for me but NONE of the Decepticons died in that issue after killing Jetfire?!

That is bull. That is literally bull. And I'm hearing people throwing heeps of praises to this comic series and wishing that this becomes a show. I DON'T. Let comics stay comics and let shows be its own thing for Transformers. Marvel has shown how badly one can mess up a good series when they try mixing that mess together! It ruins the characters AND the plot in the worse way imaginable! No one wins! No one! I know there will be people out there saying differently but this era of shows prove that it will be a high chance of it failing compared to the past!

Hello, anonym! I think you're a fan of Bumblebee, so I sympathize with you, it's very sad when your favorite character is killed in the first issue :(

In fact, the comic series is not so bad, it is clear that it was handled by a person with an idea and inspiration, and he brought a lot of interesting moments. But I don't like the fact that two Autobots were killed in the first issue at once, and the Decepticons are doing well. Once again, the Autobots are at the very bottom and must overcome. Yes, this is the way of the «good guys», but there must be some kind of balance! I think this is because the Decepticons have more fans, and they won't like having one of their favorite characters killed. And so, how many fans does Skyfire have? Not so many, and there are more Bumblebee haters now than fans, there are also few voices of indignation. But maybe the authors themselves love the Decepticons a little more, at least Skywarp is definitely the author's favorite character.

It's interesting with Bumblebee in general, because Hasbro's representatives themselves asked to put this character in the background, because there are a lot of him, and, apparently, approved of his killing. This impression is created from the words of the author, who spoke about this request to shift the focus from Bumblebee to someone else, and about the fact that he was asked to change the number of Ark engines for the final version. It means that there is some degree of control there and all this has been approved.

As for the show, I agree, fandom and Hasbro want it, without understanding the consequences. As if the "Rise of the Beasts" was not an example of this strategy being a failure. Let's hope that comics will not be affected by this trend.

Well, right now I'm just foolishly hoping that Skyfire will be fixed somehow, because it's not fair to just kill him.

By the way, here is the author's channel, he sometimes broadcasts and tells interesting things about the process of creating a comic book, I highly recommend watching it.

[the-lancasters]

A selection of the correspondence between Robert and Alexandra over the last 18 months

AN: Trying something a bit different with the narrative style! 😬 Their relationship has been slowly growing in the background but haven't actually seen each other since the wedding.

Previous| Beginning  | Next

Transcript under the cut

Dear Alexandra,

I hope you were serious about writing those letters, unfortunately it is the most reliable form of communication out here on the ship - the internet is terrible and with 300 crew members trying to contact their loved ones…well lets just say it can turn into an all out brawl sometimes. Being a prince gives me no special privileges on this ship - it's actually something I love most about serving. I'm not Prince Robert, I’m just Lieutenant Lancaster.

Re-adjusting to life on board after the wedding has been interesting - but it always is after I go home for any length of time.

The guys gave me shit for all the fancy dinners and dancing - they all watched the wedding broadcast on board apparently and said that my hat was 2 degrees off centre. Like they could tell from a live feed!

I enjoyed showing you Lancaster Palace in my last days on shore, it's a special place to me. Kissing you in the moonlight at the music pavilion will stay with me for a very long time.

Robert

Dear Robert,

I was half convinced you were joking about the letter writing, but I am glad to be proved wrong for once! Things have really quietened down here - Charles and Vic have left for their honeymoon, and the city is going back to normal after the frenzy of events.

It's surreal going back to my little job after being a part of something so massive. I think my colleagues now look at me differently. They haven’t been all jokes like yours, more like there's this invisible wall that has come down between us. I think they see me as ‘different’ now. Even though they already knew that my father is the Earl of Winslow! I guess it's a bit more real for them now.

I also enjoyed the personal tour of Lancaster Palace. It's quickly becoming special to me too.

Alexandra

Dear Alexandra,

I'm sorry to hear things are awkward at your job. Would it help finding a new place? I remember you saying that there was only so far you could go at this charity organisation and that a bigger one would give you more space to grow.

I can sympathise with the whole ‘looking at you differently’ thing. But in my experience they often settle down soon and remember that you are actually a person, and more than a picture on TV..

Robert Robert,

I did it! I got the job at the Global Women in Business Foundation! I start in two weeks and it cannot come soon enough. The people here are still not gone back to the prewedding state like you promised and I'm looking forward to escaping the staring.

I don’t know how much you see of the news out there but Vic is coming under some heavy criticism at the moment and I don’t know how she keeps that smile on her face during engagements. I went to visit her and she's pretty distraught.

No one seems to be helping her - is this normal? I don’t know what to do.

Alexandra

Alexandra,

I'm sorry to hear that Victoria is struggling, I know that it can’t be easy coming into this particular family. I'm also concerned about the fact that she doesn’t have any support. I’ve contacted Charles to see what the hell is going on. From my experience the staff around you make or break you as a royal. So tell her to get going on that part and the rest should follow.

Robert

Robert,

That was some sage advice you gave. And I don’t know what you said to Charles but all of a sudden the roadblocks seemed to clear! I don’t know if Charles was the roadblock but someone was and he may have just pushed them aside. Whatever the reason - thank you. Victoria seems more like her old self again.

Things are going well at the foundation, I've managed to even make a couple of friends! Which is helpful since Vic isn’t exactly free for after work drinks anymore.

Have they told you yet about your next leave? Maybe we could have dinner?

Love, Alex

Dear Alex,

Dinner with you sounds like the most perfect thing in the world to me right now. But it doesn’t look like I'll be back this year. My mother is, of course, devastated that I won’t be home for Christmas. It's her favourite time of year, and with Victoria being pregnant she seems to have put the ‘perfect family’ lever in overdrive.

Maybe she is over compensating for all the Christmas' that we would spend in separate parts of Sanderton House. Margaret and I would hide up in the nursery and bribe one of the maids to bring us snacks while we played board games.

So while dinner is off the cards, for a while at least, maybe I could call you? We will be in port next week and with most guys going on shore I will actually have a chance at having a semi-private phone call.

Love, Robert

Dear Robert,

I will be waiting by the phone!

Love, Alex

[opedguy]

Close Encounter with Bryan Kohberger

LOS ANGELES (OnlineColumnist.com), Jn. 12, 2023,--Seven years before 28-year-old alleged mass killer Bryan Kohberger stabbed  Nov. 13, 2022 four University of Idaho undergraduates at a rental house, Hayley Willette came forward with her story of going out on a date with him.  Willette said she matched on the dating site Tinder and wound up going to the movies with Kohberger when he was 21-year-old at Penn State, Hazleton and she was 20, working on her nursing degree.  Tracing the development of a mass or serial killer isn’t easy for the best profilers, looking into the proverbial crystal ball trying to make forecasts about the future.  For what it’s worth, Willette said she had an uncomfortable encounter when she invited Kohberger back to her apartment to watch another movie.  Willette recalls Kohberger “was very polite and nice” during the date but he “completely changed gears” once he went to her room.

Why a 20-year-old undergraduate would invite someone she barely knew into her room is anyone’s guess.  So, her recollection of events nearly seven years ago only adds to the post-mortem profiling typically done by researchers looking into the histories of serial killers and mass murderers. “He just seemed very different,” Willette said, about Kohberger once he entered her room.  “Definitely felt uncomfortable when he decided he needed to wait outside the bathroom,” Willette said, something that could happen to any young woman inviting a new date back to her room.  “After an hour or so of him being gone, he messaged me and said I had good birthing hips and I just never messaged him back,” Willette said.  Kohberg’s comments weren’t much different than any young women with a stranger in her room. There’s nothing in Wilmette’s recall that would point to a future mass murder.

Arrested at his family’s home Dec. 30, 2022 near the Pocono mountains in Pennsylvania, Kohberger was tracked by the FBI, making a cross country trip in his white, Hyundai Elantra, the same care spotted by around the rented home where Ethan Chapin, 20, Madison Mogen, 21, Xana Krrnodle, 20 and Kaylee Gonsalves, 21, were slashed to death Nov. 13, 2022 by some unknown assailant.  Police used DNA evidence found at the crime scene on the sheath of the knife to match with some discarded trash at Kohberger’s family home.  Whether the DNA evidence stands up in court, FBI investigators were able to track his movements all the way from Moscow, Idaho to his parents’ home in the Poconos, Pennsylvania. Law enforcement officials showed that with the help of DNA, at least some serial killers or mass murders can be identified for eventual arrest when all leads fail.

Kohberger preliminary hearing in Moscow, Idaho has been continued to June 26, at which point he’ll be charged with burglary and four counts of homicide.  Kohberger’s defense attorney Anne Taylor said it will give her enough time to review discovery of Latah County Prosecutor Bill Thomson said he had no objections to Magistrate Megan Marshall to allow the delay before Kohberg enter his expected not guilty plea.  All the stories from past friends, classmates and acquaintances make for interesting copy in various news stories or broadcast talk.  But as Kohberger knows as a Washington State criminology grad student, he knows the science behind crime scene investigation has evolved into a more exacting process.  Some experts have said Kohberger didn’t cover his tracks very well, leaving the knife sleeve with his DNA or using the same vehicle spotted near the crime scene.

Kohberg’s in custody in Moscow, Idaho until his June 26 arraignment, giving his defense attorney and country prosecutor time to build their cases.   Kohberger waived his right to a speedy trial, another sign that the case against him looks more solid.  If Kohberger really thought he was innocent, he would protest loudly, wanting his day in court at the earliest possible time.  Sitting in jail for the next six months suggests that he knows the deck is stacked against him.  “He’s willing to waive timeliness to allow us time to obtain discovery in the case and be prepared,” Taylor told Magistrate Judge Megan Marshall.  No innocent person wants to rot in jail any longer than they have to, especially if they’re innocent.  Kohberger knows every textbook on criminal interrogation or investigation knows the demeanor of an innocent suspect, seeking a court date at the earliest possible time.

Local, state and federal law enforcement officials should be commended to tracking Kohberger down to his parents’ home in the Poconos, using the latest DNA crime-scene investigation techniques.  Unless Kohberger has a lot of cash to spend on his defense, he’s not going to get the kind of DNA experts refuting the government’s case against him.  Serial or mass killers come in many packages, with different personalities, difficult to stereotype with one-size fits all descriptions.  But one thing’s for sure, especially when the murders are gender-specific, in this primarily young women, there’s deep hatred for the opposite sex.  Whether that’s due to repeated rejection and uncontrollable rage is anyone’s guess.  Establishing motive is usually the last thing detectives figure out.  Waiving his right to a speedy trial certainly shows that Kohberger isn’t protesting his innocence too loudly.

About the Author

John M. Curtis writes politically neutral commentary analyzing spin in national and global news. He’s editor of OnlineColumnist.com and author of Dodging the Bullet and Operation Charisma.

[dangerousstrawberryshark]

Yandere Izuku Midoriya x Villain Male Reader

I would like to clarify something, I never watched “My Hero Academia,” so don’t know much about this show. 

Warning: Violence, slight mention of bullying. 

Requested from Pokadeathpony

Background: Midoriya is doing the normal thing patrolling the city when he finds this beautiful villain male and falls for him. Midoriya decides after already killing an investigator on M/N to join and be the best killing couple.

M/N: Male Name

V/N: Villain Name

E/C: Eye color

S/C: Skin color

H/C: Hair color

sorry if this is bad!!

———————————————————————————————————

Midoriya was patrolling the city at night when he noticed something happening in an alleyway. he saw a guy attacking someone else! As he got closer, he noticed the features of the assailant. (You’re a murder by the way.)

He had soft, fluffy H/C hair, a nice S/C tone that radiants from the gray and dark colors, and couldn’t see his E/C, but it must be beautiful like the rest of him. Midoriya blushed at his features. He had never felt this towards anyone. This is a new feeling to him. 

He was stared for too long because M/n saw him and ran away. I wanted to stop him and bring him to justice but something in me told me to just let him go. ‘Well, I guess I won’t see him again.’ I sighed to myself as I walked away from the scene. 

(Why didn’t you cover yourself in black clothing so you couldn’t be seen? Because of plot purposes.)

Flash forward to morning (By the way it’s summer break in this story. Again I have never seen the show, so don’t judge me.)

Midoriya’s sleep was disturbed by his alarm clock. “Ugh!” Midoriya groans as he smashed his clock. ‘Well, I’ll have to get a new one,’ Midoriya said to himself saying that this wasn’t the first time he has done it. Midoriya just laid there for the next 10 minutes before getting up. 

‘What day is it today?’ Midoriya got up and checked the calendar, seeing that it was Spring Break. ‘Yes, It’s spring break!’ Midoriya went to the kitchen to make some breakfast and watch TV. Midoriya made a traditional breakfast that consists of steamed rice, miso soup, protein such as grilled fish, and various side dishes. 

After making his breakfast he sat down and watched TV. nothing was really so he went on the News Channel. “Good morning everyone, it’s a wonderful day here in Musutafu I’m Himari Yamamoto, and now for the weather with Sakura Kobayashi.” (Random name I created.) it then flashed over to the Weather woman. 

“Thank you, Himari Suzuki. So today, we have warm winds coming in from the south and today’s temperature is 18 °C (64 degrees Fahrenheit) now back to you, Himari.” she was done giving the weather. 

“Thank you, Sakura, now onto breaking news. A dead body was found in an alleyway near (insert random restaurant name) last night at 10 something PM.” 

(Does this sound like a good news broadcast?)

when the news lady said that Midoriya had a flashback to last night, he remembers seeing the cute murder. ‘Wait cute?!’ Midoriya was getting all confused about this. He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the news say, “An investigator is currently trying to bring this murderer to justice.” 

‘An investigator?!’ something is triggering Midoriya. For some reason, he’s mad at this person, but he should be happy that someone is going to bring them to justice. ‘Why I’m I like this?! What I’m I feeling?’ Midoriya was confused, did he like this murderer? 

Time Skip (10 PM)

It was 10 PM, the same time Midoriya first spotted ‘him’. Midoriya hated night patrol (does he?) but this time he is actually was excited because maybe he’ll accidentally into him. Nothing really happened until he sees the same H/c and S/c. just to be sure, he got closer and he could confirm that was M/n.

M/n was just walking around. People assumed that M/n was a kind person and that he would never do anything bad towards anyone but behind closed doors, M/n can be the most dangerous person you’ll ever meet. He shows no mercy and is ruthless. But he only kills people who wronged him and people who bully him because he was the ‘quiet kid.’

Anyways M/n was just walking, he was going to the store to get some items. As M/n was walking he could feel someone watching him. He kept turning and looking around. This is what years of bullying can do to you, it makes you more aware but of course that all changed when M/n killed his bullies. M/n arrived at the store and got what he needs. 

While walking home, he could still feel eyes watching his every move. ‘Is it that damn investigator?’ M/n yelled in his mind. But little did he know that those eyes were not from the investigator but from a hero.

Time Skip (3 weeks)

For the past three weeks, M/n felt like he was being watched. M.n could rule out that it wasn’t the investigator because he still doesn’t know who is behind all of these murders. As for Midoriya, he watched M/n from the top of the building just in the shadows. He learned a lot about M/n from stalking him, he discovered that most of M/n victims are his bullies. Midoriya is lovesick for M/n. 

Midoriya finally understood what he was feeling. These feelings developed as he began to stalk M/n more. He denied it at first but it got more controlling. Midoriya wanted to join M/n but he couldn’t do that because of the investigator. So he had to deal with him.

Midoriya got out his phone and called him. It was ringing for moments until someone picked up, “Hello?” the man finally picked up. “Ah yes, is this Satoshi...  Hashimoto?” “Yes, this is Satoshi. What do you need?” “This Izuku Midoriya and I want to help you with the murder cases.” “Wait you’re the Izuku Midoriya?!” Looks like Satoshi is a fan of Midoriya. MIdoriya is just getting more annoyed about this man. 

“Answer my question. Yes or no? The more time that is consumed, the more time that killer is out there.” “Yes, I’ll be honored for you to help me.” “Okay, I want you to meet me at my apartment. Today at 11:00.” “Uhh, why your place?” “Do you want me to help or not?!” “Yes, sorry, I’ll be over there.” “Great see you at 11:00.” then Midoriya hung up. 

Midoriya sat there with a sadistic grin on his face. ‘This night will be your last.’

Time Skip (11:00)

It was 11:00 and Satoshi should be arriving soon.11:10, Satoshi hasn’t arrived. 11:30 still hasn’t arrived. Just then Midoriya received a call. “Yes, I don’t know where you live.” *sigh* “Okay I live in the (Apartment name) complex, on the 4th floor. Go straight and then take a left, and go straight.” “Okay thank you.”

It was currently 12:10 AM and Midoriya heard someone knocking on the door. ‘About time.’ Midoriya got up and walked to the door, unlocking it. “Hey, Satoshi nice to meet you.” he extended his arm out. “Nice to meet you too,” Midoriya said while shaking his hand. “Come inside.” “Okay.” Satoshi walked inside and Modoriya locked the door. 

Midoriya slowly walked behind Satoshi, pulling out the knife he had in his pocket. “So wha-” Midoriya put his hand over Satoshi’s mouth covering it so he wouldn’t make a sound. And Midoriya shoved the knife into his head killing him instantly. ‘So this is what murdering someone feels like?’ Midoriya didn’t feel guilty, he felt relieved. 

Midoriya didn’t stop there, he continued to repeatedly stab Satoshi’s body. He cut his fingers off one by one. He cut open his chest and pulled his intestines out. Midoriya released all of his anger. “Tsk, what a mess.” Midoriya grabbed the body and put it in a trash bag. He cleaned up the blood and cleaned the knife. 

Once completed Midoriya took the body to the nearby garbage dumpster and there it in. “Time to go to sleep.” 

Time Skip (3 days) 

M/n turned on the news and he was shocked at what he just saw. “The body of Satoshi Hashimoto was found in a dumpster. The killer is unknown but it is speculated that it’s the same murderer.” ‘I didn’t kill this man? If it wasn’t me then who was it?’ M/n thought to himself. But M/n didn’t care at least Satoshi wasn’t a problem anymore. 

Times Skip (10:00 PM. Another one?! Just too lazy to put anything else.)

M/n was walking when he was grabbed and pulled into an alleyway. He was shocked at first but he regained his focus and looked up at who it was. ‘Just who I looking for.’ M/n smirked but before he could pull out his knife, and stab this person, someone else killed him. The body dropped to the ground revealing the person who was behind him. And it shocked M/n.

‘Midoriya?’ M/n mouth dropped. “Hello, M/n.” “How do you know my name?” “Well… you see. You caught my attention and... to be honest I was the one watching.” M/n couldn’t process what was going on. The MIDORIYA was interested in him and he didn’t care that I kill people? “But I kill people… how are you interested in me?” “Well I knew you were a killer but I just stayed quiet. And that investigator, Satoshi? I was the one who killed him.” 

M/n was now more shocked. “You were the one who killed him?! Why though? I thought you were a hero?” “Yes, I was the one who killed. Why? Because while I was watching you, I started to develop feelings… sick feelings. And now the last question, I WAS a hero but now I want to join you.”

Not only does Midoriya want to join you in killing people but also has feelings for you. Sick feelings. ‘I mean Midoriya is kind of cute.’ you thought to yourself. “Fine, I give you a chance and you can join me.” Midoriya face lit up and he grabbed your face and pulled you into a kiss. You blushed at this. “Okay stop that, you need to prove yourself first.” Midoriya nodded his head. 

Time skip (5 months later)

Midoriya proved himself showing you that he can handle it. He also was ruthless as you and showed no mercy. You also began to develop feelings for Midoriya and you confessed to him, he was ecstatic.  He pulled you for a long kiss and you kiss back, melting into it. He pulled back and whispered.

“You’re mine. You belong to me and I belong to you.” 

ANNOUCEMENT: I’m currently out of request! You can request me something. it has to be Male reader or gender-neutral, give a description, and you can request smut if you want. any male character from anime to your favorite celebrities. I need to create a rules section but I don’t know how to do that.

[whump-a-la-mode]

Villian-Sicle

A drabble I couldn’t get out of my head. Villain puts themself in a harrowing situation-- with the only way out being to trust hero. I’m open to continuing this if anyone is interested ^^

CW//Superhero whump, villain whumpee, environmental whump (kinda), implied hypothermia, hospital setting

Villain should have known.

It was a risk, they did know that much. The few henchmen they still had among their ranks had warned them, worrying and puttering about like nervous schoolchildren. The heroes had grown ever closer in their pursuit, with scarcely a day going where one of them wasn’t seen in the nearby city.

The only thing keeping them away, for the moment, was secrecy. Villain’s base was embedded into a nearby mountain, settled into a worn Cold War era bunker that had been hewn from the rough limestone. Every last one of their henchmen had had the same advice for them: “Let’s just lay low for a bit, boss. They can’t sniff around here forever, we have enough supplies to last a month, at least, I made sure.”

Would such a plan of action have been wise? Certainly. Even now, villain couldn’t help themself from dreaming of a week or two, laid up on the couch, watching TV and reorganizing their armory.

Impulse had gotten the better of them, however, as it always seemed to do. The Serum had been transported to a nearby hospital on a specially chartered plane. The pilot and crew would be staying in the city for the night, while the Serum stayed in the hospital, housed safely in the freezing cold temperatures that it required to stay fresh. It was a short opportunity, so short that they would miss it if they so much as blinked. Once the dawn rose, their prize would be whisked away, never to be seen again. They couldn’t miss it.

They would be in and out, Villain promised their henchmen. A few hours, if even that. No risk at all. What would a bunch of white-coat nerds do to stop them? Yell out some facts and figures?

It was supposed to be a quick job.

It was very much not a quick job.

Villain’s hot breath burned against their own face as they tore through the bright, sterile-lit hallway. The tiles beneath their feet couldn’t have possibly muffled their footsteps any less. Instead, their movements were broadcasted to everyone in the building, and, probably, in the entire city, with how much this damn hall echoed.

They had entered the building through a back entrance, just twenty minutes ago. Or maybe it had been more like fifteen, or thirty, or... they had been running for so long. They didn’t know anymore.

Their powers crept from them at the very thought, weaving out into the world around with invisible tendrils of information. One latched onto a computer, politely informing them that they had been running for their life for exactly twenty three minutes and 32.34 seconds.

Great! The joys of technopathy. Villain couldn’t defend themself, but they could find out the time. Fantastic.

Before them, a fork in the hallway appeared, almost too quickly for them to react. With a split second decision based on nothing, they tore to the left, nearly tripping over their own feet with the motion. A few seconds later, their pursuers performed the same action.

Villain kept running.

When they had gone in through the back entrance, the hospital had seemed nearly dead. Motion-activated lights sat dead as the emergency room staff chugged their way through their third round of coffee. It was perfect. They crept through the back storage room, and began making their way to the cold storage.

It was perfect, until Hero stepped out around the corner. It was perfect, until Villain found out that the Heroes had assigned themselves to provide an overnight guard for the Serum.

Of course they had been.

Villain nearly slammed into an empty gurney, narrowly darting around it. The Heroes on their tail swore.

It was a miracle they hadn’t been shot yet, in all truth. That would have been too merciful. No, the Heroes had to hunt them like prey. Like the beasts there were.

In nature, most predators can be classified as ambush predators. Creeping in the bushes, the tall grasses, waiting for their prey to turn its head. However, some predators had a different approach. Endurance predators. Chasing their prey until they grew too tired to go on any longer. It was a common method among social predators-- wolves, notably.

Wolves. That was what their pursuers were acting like.

Villain considered swearing under their breath, but decided quickly against it. They didn’t have the air. Neither did they have the air to keep running like this for much longer.

In their chest, they could feel their heart as it struggled to beat itself free from their ribs. Their lungs struggled to bring in any air, gasping every shallower with each breath.

They couldn’t keep going. Even with the enhanced physical prowess that the simple virtue of having powers gave them, they couldn’t keep going. At this rate, they would collapse at any moment, succumbing to their predators’ jaws.

Another gurney was dodged, and another turn made. They couldn’t feel their legs. They had to stop. With another quick reach of their powers, they found their current location on the hospital’s floorplan.

Nowhere near a single exit.

They were fucked. The windows weren’t much of an option either-- they were on the fourth floor, by now. But, it was either that, or being caught, or...

Or getting what they came for.

In the distance, a few doors ahead, they saw it. It was nearly unbelievable-- a mirage of water in the desert.

A door, simply labelled “Cold Storage.”

The last of their strength was quickly spent on advancing just a few more steps and slamming their body into the door, quickly gaining them access. They slammed the steel door behind them, clicking the lock into place as quickly as they could.

Outside, fists beat at the metal. A smile grew across Villain’s face. Their pursuers had been just a second too late.

Villain collapsed. There was little other way to describe the ungrateful way in which they fell to the ground, a heap of limbs and unwashed hair. They were safe, at least for the moment.

A cursory moment of curiosity led them to seek the temperature value being read by the thermometer on the wall. -20 degrees Fahrenheit. Why did that seem off...

-60 degrees. That’s what the Serum had to be kept at.

Shit. They glanced again at the floor plan. There was more than one Cold Storage.

Shit shit shit.

More banging on the door. Villain sat up, still gasping for breath. This time, however, the air being gulped into their lungs burned for its cold, rather than its heat. They wrapped their arms around their chest, reminding themself with a prick of nervousness that they were wearing little more than a light sweatshirt.

The influence of their powers searched the room, twisting along the walls and among the shelves lining them, searching for whatever was keeping the place so damn cold. They found nothing but a vent-- the cold air was being pumped in from somewhere else. Somewhere too far away for them to reach.

They gulped.

Someone yelled outside the door, followed by a weapon of some sort striking the handle. It didn’t budge.

A shiver rippled along their spine. They hugged themself as tight as they could, but it didn’t change the fact that the feeling in their fingertips was already beginning to fade.

From outside, a laugh. A voice. That stupid, stupid voice. Hero’s voice:

“You’re going to catch your death in there. Open the damn door, we’re not gonna hurt you.”

Likely story.

Villain lowered their head, closing their eyes and trying to pretend that their teeth weren’t already chattering.

[sturchling]

Salt-Fic September Day 6: Camera

Damian had met Marinette about a year ago. He had been in Paris with his father, and had literally bumped into the clumsy girl. Despite his icy demeanor, Marinette still treated him with kindness. Her warmth thawed Damian to a degree and they spent the remainder of his trip together. By the time he left, they had decided to start a long-distance relationship. They messaged all the time, and FaceTime every night. It was during one of these nightly video chats that Damian learned about the liar.

---------------------

Damian had thought Marinette was exaggerating when she told him how gullible her class was. She wasn’t exaggerating. He had transferred to her school for a semester as an exchange student to see what the situation was, and it was worse than he thought. Marinette had told him that the class had been pulling away from her. What she did not tell him, is that she is almost completely isolated, with only three people still talking to her.

  ---------------------

Nino, Nathaniel, and Adrien all knew that the Italian was a liar and had stayed by Marinette’s side, despite the class pressuring them to abandon her. They said they should leave Marinette by herself to ��teach her a lesson’. The thought of that infuriated Damian. How dare these imbeciles be so callous towards his angel. Damian knew it was the liar’s fault, she was the one who tricked the class into turning against Marinette. Damian was going to end this girl’s reign over the class if it was the last thing he did. Damian spent the rest of the school day, watching as the class fawned over the liar and her obviously made up stories. He could not believe how easily fooled they all were.

  ---------------------

After school, Damian spoke with Marinette to see what she had already tried. Damian was shocked by how some of the attempts had gone wrong. Like how when Marinette threw a napkin to prove Lila’s wrist wasn’t sprained, and they all fell for her stupid story about how a napkin gouged someone’s eye. How could anyone believe something so stupid? Then Marinette told him about how Alya had asked her for proof that Lila was lying, without having any proof herself that she was telling the truth. That gave Damian an idea.

  ---------------------

Though there was one question still on Damian’s mind. “Why has this deceiver grown to despise you?” Marinette just sighed. “I knew she was lying from day one. I-” Marinette paused before she revealed her secret and switched to a different story. “She said she saved Jagged Stone’s kitten, but I’ve worked for him before. He has never had a cat, only Fang. His crocodile. Anyway, after the napkin incident and she realized I was trying to expose her, she cornered me in the bathroom. She tried to play nice, but when I didn’t buy it, she changed. She told me she would take all my friends and leave me alone.” Damian had to force the rage he felt to the side, for one because Marinette had told him about akumas and he didn’t want to deal with that right now. But also, because now he had a plan. “You said she threatened you after you tried to expose her right? Think she would do the same if I did?”

  ---------------------

Damian’s plan was simple. He would actively try to expose the liar to the class, in a way that the liar was sure to notice. When that inevitably failed, like it did for Marinette, then he would make sure he was alone for a while in the locker room. Lila would come to threaten him, just like she did with Marinette and he would try to keep the liar talking as long as possible. What Lila won’t know is that there will be a hidden camera in the locker room recording every poisonous word. He will have video evidence of the liar admitting to her deception. He also planned to share the video, live, with everyone in school, so no one can claim it was edited. If this doesn’t convince the class, then he is getting his angel out of this school.

  ---------------------

The next day, Damian started his plan. First, he went into the locker room and hid a camera up near the windows. The camera is remote controlled so as soon as the liar came in to confront him, he would start recording. Then he went into the classroom to begin the next phase of the plan. When Lila started one of her stories, this time about helping Prince Ali with a new environmental charity, Damian pointed out to the class that Prince Ali is known for working with children charities, not environmental charities. Lila floundered for a moment, but quickly covered her tracks. “He may be known for the children’s charities, but he has a wide variety of philanthropic interests. He just doesn’t get as much media coverage for his other charities.” The class bought the lie and didn’t question the liar at all. But that hadn’t been Damian’s goal with that comment. And based of the glare the Italian was giving him, he had accomplished his true goal.

  ---------------------

At lunch, Damian waited in the locker room like he planned. He didn’t have to wait long before he heard it. The sound of the locker room door opening. He turned to see the liar standing near the door. Damian quickly started the camera recording and broadcasting, and waited for the liar to start talking. Once she knew they were alone, the smile dropped from her face. “I can see you’re smart so I’m not going to waste our time trying to trick you with the nice girl routine. Don’t ever try to expose me again, or you will regret it.” Damian couldn’t hide the smirk on his face as the liar fell into the trap, which seemed to anger her further. “What do you mean Lila? Expose what?” Lila sneered at Damian, “You know exactly what. You tried to expose that my stories are more fiction than fact. If you don’t want to go through what I did to Marinette, then be smart and back off.”

  ---------------------

Damian had succeeded with getting the liar to admit to her lies on camera. But he wanted to clear Marinette too. “What did you do to Marinette?” Lila smirked, “I made her friends abandon her. You’ve seen how she sits in the back with only a few friends. She used to be one of the most popular girls in class. Now she is a nobody in the back of the room that everyone thinks is a bully because I told them so. I even got her expelled for a while. And if you try to expose me as a liar again, I will do the exact same thing to you. I will make your time in Paris miserable.”

  ---------------------

Now it was Damian’s turn to smirk. “See I won’t have to expose you, because you just revealed yourself. See that little camera up there by the window. It recorded every word you just said. It has also been streaming this live to the whole school. Now the whole school knows you are nothing but a liar.” Lila turns pale as she finally notices the camera. She flees from the locker room, hoping that Damian was lying or that some people didn’t watch the video or watched it and didn’t believe it. But when she got back to the courtyard everyone was glaring at her. Just like that Lila’s hold on the school was completely broken. She tried to reclaim her control, but no one listened to her now. Damian had also shared the video with one person outside of the school. Lila’s mother. Her mother had come quickly after the video aired and pulled her daughter out of the school, to send her back to Italy to attend a reform school. The liar was gone from his angel’s life and Marinette couldn’t be happier. And it was all thanks to Damian and his camera

Hope you guys liked it! @maribat-central-official

[wishingstarinajar]

I am going to ramble a bit but I will hide it under a cut because it's a bit long. It will be about the previous fandom I was active in around two years ago and how it affects me to this day. It's also about popularity and putting others on a pedestal.

If this sort of ramble isn't up your alley then feel very free to skip over this post! I don't mind. If you want to read more about it, just check under the cut.

The Franchise And Its Creators

====

THE FRANCHISE AND ITS CREATORS Around mid-2014, I joined the Wakfu and Dofus fandoms, a small-ish fandom as a whole but popular in certain circles.

For those who don't know, Wakfu and Dofus are (online, console, mobile, figurine, card and board) games, comics, animated series, specials and movies created by a French studio named Ankama. These two franchises are intertwined with each other as they play out in the same universe but in different timelines. I myself dabbled around in the animated part of the fandom; I was a huge fan of the two series and the Dofus movie.

There was very little catering to the international part of the fandom when it came to the studio's attention and interactions. There were no English dubs or subtitles; international fans had to rely on English fan subtitles on ripped/pirated episodes of the show and movie, same for the franga/comics. Merch was hard to get. A lot of articles related to the shows and whatnot were in French only, which is understandable because it is a French-made product. But there's no denying that the international fanbase felt a little neglected back then.

====

MY FANDOM JOURNEY

Because I was very interested in the lore of both franchises, I had to do a lot of digging and translating to be able to fully indulge in it all. I went full in! I dug deep, created OCs, art and also tried to write fanfiction. I also shared news and info about the series and movie; I ran a fan blog dedicated to sharing things with the international part of the fandom. I was also often approached about lore, particularly for a few of the canon characters and one of the races that play a role in the Wakfu franchise; the Eliatropes. It was fun, it felt good to help other fans out, it was nice to make friends and be creative with others about similar things.

Eventually, the character and art theft began. We all know this is a 'normal' part of fandoms, so I won't hammer too long on it. My issue with it was the fact that my main OC, a female Eliatrope, gathered a lot of attention because female Eliatropes were a rarity in the Wakfu franchise. They existed but didn't get a moment in the limelight, except for one that even received her own game (Islands of Wakfu) but it was so obscure that a lot of fans didn't know about its existence. My OC was somehow mistaken as canon by plenty of folks and many others started to use her as a template to create their own (female) Eliatrope OC. I didn't mind, as long as they weren't straight-up copies and I tried to be supportive by answering lore questions and give feedback whenever it was asked for it (which happened a lot). Of course, copying and theft happened more often than not; over the five years I was part of the fandom, I sent out almost a hundred DMCA reports for art and character theft (like true theft; I could handle some similarities or one-time occurrences). One particular case went to the extreme but I won't beat that dead horse any further; it brought me enough misery to last me half a lifetime, that's all I'll say on it. I kept a lot of the negative experiences behind closed doors and dealt with a lot of it quietly to not bother, worry or burden anyone else with any of it. I wanted a positive and supporting environment for my followers, even if the truth wasn't as pretty.

====

ANKAMA'S STRUGGLE

Over the years, studio Ankama increased attempts to cater more to the international fanbase of its animated properties (articles in English, English dubs and subtitles, etc). However, the studio's struggle to garner the attention of international supporters (aka companies and sponsors) didn't go too smoothly, and to make matters worse, they were also struggling with finding a platform in France to broadcast the Wakfu series on after wishing to take a different and more mature direction. Ankama wanted more freedom with the Wakfu show, like less censorship, a serial rather than episodic, and it not being aimed at a young audience like its previous contractor demanded Wakfu to be. Ankama even turned to crowdfunding to get certain projects (like new Wakfu seasons) off the ground and let's just say that those crowdfunding projects are best described as tiny dumpster fires; they weren't pretty to watch. The first one was a disaster with plenty of displeased backers and the following crowdfunding attempts often didn't meet the end goal due to bad past experiences or the lack of interest.

Luckily, Netflix breathed some life into the international Wakfu fandom, which was great! But it was still received badly (mostly due to the awful English dub and sound mixing of the first two seasons and special) that the third season Netflix made possible was not getting the attention it deserved. It was also a rushed product due to financial and time constraints on Ankama's part. Netflix eventually declined a fourth season and it all fell a bit apart from there. Ankama turned to crowdfunding once more to try and make season 4 a reality. Last time I checked (which was quite a while ago), it did decently enough to make season 4 a reality. (Please don't ask me about it, I don't know anything about it.)

====

THE PEDESTAL

While all this was happening behind the scenes, I was starting to struggle with the reputation I built up in the Wakfu and Dofus fandom over the few years I was a part of it. The best way to describe it is that I had grown exhausted.

Aside from dealing with the theft and answering people's questions daily, I wanted to be treated as an average fan but I kept getting put on a pedestal. People went as far as to call me by titles (like lady Wish and miss Wish) more often than not. To be called and treated as such made me feel alienated, like as if I wasn't considered real. I often asked to just be called Wish, no titles/formalities required, and that I wasn't as 'popular' as they believed, but the majority of the people didn't seem to listen. People were either afraid or refused to interact with me because they considered me 'too popular', or simply wanted nothing but my validation, feedback and/or free art. I also had my fair share of haters and people that didn't approve of my 'status' in the fandom. Join the club xD I wasn't very happy with it either.

I really started to dislike being called 'popular' because it had such a bad impact on the people around me (and my own mental wellbeing). Friends started to become jealous of the attention I garnered and it dragged me down every time. At times, it would turn toxic. It was never my intention to make my friends feel like they meant less because they surely didn't. To learn that they believed others were only friends with them or only looked at their art/writing because they were good friends with me hurt so much. It still does. I refuse to believe that was fully true because I was (and still am!) surrounded by very creative people and they all deserved as much attention as I was getting, at times more. I wish others saw it that way too.

I was also heavily chained down thanks to the role (model) I played in the fandom. Too many people (especially young ones) looked up to me and there were a lot of expectations that I felt forced to meet. I started to lose the energy for it, but if I dared to stray a little from the path, the pitchforks and torches would come out. It was very restricting.

In the end, I felt stuck. Things started to grow toxic. There was a point where I began to dislike the franchise because of the bad feelings it brought me. I couldn't even get myself to watch the series or movie anymore. I focused less and less on the canon side of things and more on my own ideas, which was one of the only comforts I really had left in the fandom. I started to shut myself off, which upset a lot of people. I am sorry for that, I wish it didn't happen that way but I was at my wits' end.

When I realized and also accepted that I was no longer enjoying myself with canon or fanon, I knew I had to move on or stuff would end badly. It was a very tough realization and decision to accept and make; I literally dedicated five years of my life to the fandom. I spent hours a day digging for info and news to translate and share, doing 'research' for my fanfics, answering questions, and whatnot. I truly lived the fandom day in and out. It was the first fandom I ever actively participated in to this degree. What the heck was I going to do without that?

====

THE NOW

Abandoning the fandom was a scary step to take but not one I regret. I left the Wakfu and Dofus fandom behind me in late 2019. I feel freer now and so much happier. I no longer have the burden of expectations, being a lore guide or be forced to portray a certain role model weighing me down. I am no longer on that f*cking pedestal. I can finally explore interests that aren't exactly child-friendly without a big part of my following pummeling me down for it. (Don't worry, I always try my best to keep it in the appropriate places.)

Do I still like Wakfu/Dofus and all the stuff I've created with it? Yes, I do but I also want nothing more to do with it. Aside from the friends I've made there and also stuck around on my new adventures, I left the fandom behind me.

I still get approached at times about how my Wakfu OC, art and writing inspired someone and ask me if I could give them feedback for their own ideas or give them advice/information on Wakfu/lore. I am extremely humbled by it every time. It's great to see someone feeling inspired and be creative. However, I've moved on. I've left interacting with the Wakfu/Dofus fandom and fan-made stuff far behind me. I haven't touched it for almost two years and it shows on all the social media I share my art and writing on. I at times wish people could be considerate about the fact that I moved on but I also know and understand that not everyone knows my reasoning or my side of the story. I try not to be too harsh on it.

====

MY ADVICE

I don't hate anyone for how things turned out; a lot of it was my own doing by not saying no or taking a stronger stand.

It did teach me a lot of things, especially about caring for my own well-being and putting others on pedestals. Please be mindful when you treat someone like others treated me before; it's not healthy, for yourself and the person you put on that high pedestal. Take everything in moderation and consideration, that's all. Everyone's human, everyone has feelings, and everyone deserves a sense of being. Even your favorite artists and content creators. Don't treat them like an otherwordly being that you have to worship.

In turn, if a fandom or something you enjoyed is making you unhappy nowadays, you owe it to yourself to make or find a change. Be good to yourself, always!

~~

Thanks to anyone who read through this ramble. I needed to get this off my chest. I am not asking for advice, neither pity or whatever else. I just wanted to share my thoughts on past experiences because I have a feeling others might be going through something similar.

Thank you again, please take care.

[mannien]

Mornings in Sheffield Park | TH - CHAPTER 1

The one with stress, takeout food around the world, late night walks, and Disney dreams.

Word count: 6.6k 

Warnings: some stress, some anxiety, mention of sex, and a lot of smiles

Masterlist

Fourth week into the morning pitch meetings at BBC, Millie felt lifeless and drained. The room was usually exploding with ideas, creative energy, and a lot of constructive feedback to the few interns who were allowed to join the conversation with editors, writers, and producers. That morning had started ugly enough for her: with an overwhelming number of e-mails about the schedule and missing content for Politics Live.

When she first landed her spot at BBC, Millie was over the moon. She was constantly calling it a dream come true, a once in a lifetime opportunity for her to begin a writing career in media. Her degree seemed to be the best choice for her future and Millie was ready to prove that graduating from humanities can actually land her a decent job. Her first days were filled with morning preparations, early commute to the city centre and exceptionally smoothed out shirts. The work environment in such a fast-paced industry felt inspiring and daunting at the same time, but Millie felt obligated to use this experience to its full potential. Each day she attempted to learn more than the day before and possibly show off a tiny bit more of her creative skills to her superiors. She spent her evenings researching topics and people, trying not to fall out of the loop. Being one step forward was hard work, one that Millie desperately wanted to ace.

The second week of her internship brought a slight shift to her agenda. After grasping the general concepts of working for a major radio and TV broadcasting company, she was aware of the production processes. She tried to happily follow up all the details about the work of a writer, a researcher, or an editor – just so she could be prepared for the follow-up of the introductory week. And as she hoped her interview was remembered and she would soon contribute to any program touching upon music or pop culture, her dreams and calls were slowly fading away. The intern manager ascribed her to the team devoted strictly to politics and daily news, having no vacancies for the popular radio programs. Even though she took whatever spot was offered, it was only to get more insight and experience.  

Having already managed to speak up a few times during the morning routines in the conference room, Millie eased herself into the work environment and was treated like a regular employee. But the first wave of success quickly passed, especially when she was hit with growing emptiness in her brain. She did not enjoy politics, so as far as she could, she attempted to sneak in a sociological aspect into the context. But her tactic had an expiration date.

A couple of heads were expectantly turned at Millie when she was unsurely stuttering her weak ideas for the upcoming programme. She knew it wasn’t going well and she was mentally cursing herself for trying to impress the producers that much so early on.

“This isn’t gonna work. We’ve covered this enough in the evening news. Let’s take five, and maybe you’ll come up with a different angle. I’ll give you another shot here.”

Hugh, the head writer took off his glasses and watched her fidget in her seat. She nodded and took a deep breath, before leaving the room for a short break. Her mind was racing in panic; she wasn’t ready to admit that she didn’t have any idea. She walked back and forth through the corridor until she cursed quietly and walked away to the main hall. She pulled her phone from the back pocket and without overthinking this anymore, she called her boyfriend. He picked up after the third ring.

“Babe, can I call you back…”

“No, Frank,” She felt determined and fierce. Her hands shook from the pure view on board members slowly coming back from the kitchen with fresh coffee mugs. They were probably waiting to hear her another take on the TV show which Millie, wholeheartedly, was beginning to hate. “My work on the programme is too basic and I’ve been roasted for the past fifteen minutes or so. Hugh has me in the spotlight in front of everyone. Help me, please?”

“It’s not your fault they’ve given you a job you’re not good at, babe. It’s just an internship, they will roast you anyway.”

Millie’s lungs were ready to stop working and suffocate her. She feared she might start hyperventilating, or at least meet up with a panic attack from the nerves. Franklin’s reaction seemed to be absolutely unfair and inconsiderate of her actual feelings, and he must have felt that through the piercing silence on the line.

“Look, I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t worry so much about it. They will probably just give you another placement where you’ll fit more, I don’t see why it’s such a bad thing.” And just like that, she started doubting herself and her right to overthink her situation. It didn’t sit well with Millie and she could feel anger slowly making its way through her veins.

“Can’t you just fucking help me? This one time?” She lost her temper, she lost her patience. At the same time Riley, one of the end writers, started waving at her from the end of the hall as to show her that her time is coming to an end. “I need a hook, or something that would spark a debate. Brexit-themed, maybe. Can you think of anything?”

Frank groaned loudly. He wasn’t exactly happy that she made him break down his ambitious wall and let her in on topics he was too invested in. Millie could hear him moving around as he left his desk of the equally large office of The Guardian, until the line went surprisingly quiet. Her anger and fear made her clutch her phone tightly to her ear, while her legs started carrying her slowly to the terrifying conference room.

“Think internationally. See what the Spanish had to say about May’s resignation from the Office. Think economics in the EU. Try to stand on the Union’s side and do some fair judgement.”

“Give me facts, not ideas. You’re the one who knows politics.”

“Spanish government says that May’s resignation is bad news. Compare it to the popular opinion that she was the worst Prime Minister since the 18th century and the American war on independence.” Millie breathed in, trying to desperately grasp all the details he just provided her with.

“That’s a… harsh and history-digging argument,” She mumbled in surprise, “where did you get that from?” She grabbed a yellow post-it note from the reception desk and quickly scribbled the key words on it. Her briefing on politics was never something like this and she could feel the embarrassment making its way into her heart. It wasn’t her way of thinking and she felt like a fraud.

“I can’t tell you that.” By the end of the single sentence Millie could feel the blood escaping her face, making her look pale and scared for dear life. She didn’t want to have heard that sentence, she was definitely happier not knowing how did he come up with a story like this. That was one of the many reasons she tried not to talk business with him.

“An opinion entry. A column for The Guardian. Shit, you just busted one of your colleagues.”

“Sometimes I hate it that you’re smart. Did I ever tell you that?”

“You just saved my internship!”

“Please don’t say that. I will pretend that we just talked about the weather.”          

“I’ll spend them the details. You’re the best, Frank.”

“Alright, go kick ass.”

And that she did. Franklin did save her internship, mainly because Millie avoided the specifics about who and why said something so harsh about the resigning Prime Minister. However, it definitely did spark interest among the production board. Afraid of not being so lucky next time, she decided to politely suggest a replacement for her permanent internship division within BBC, due to her ‘personal discomfort with discussions over issues of such importance and potential shame to their glorious country.’

Millie felt bad for using her boyfriend’s knowledge for survival at work. She wasn’t genuine and her idea didn’t come from her hard work - it was sourced in fear and anxiety-driven reactions. This situation proved to her that she wasn’t fit for the position, but it also raised her stress levels around the fact that she couldn’t get by on her own in the industry. She didn’t want others to navigate her through it all, but the conversation she had with Frank had also made her uncomfortable. Her need of support in a stressful situation was primarily turned down, so—naturally to her character—she started to worry even more.

With a heavy heart and two bags of Wagamama takeout, she walked up the stairs to his apartment. She was usually working until later hours than Frank, so all she really needed was for him to open the door for her. She leaned on the doorframe as she waited patiently for the two turns of the lock. He opened still in his work attire – tailored jeans and a light grey button up shirt. He was holding his phone next to his ear and humming approvingly to the speaker when he looked her up and down. He winked at her and let her in, as he continued to talk with someone.

Inside, Millie found the TV turned on with a football game playing. His work jacket was still hanging on the back of the tall stool in the kitchen, and the grocery bags laid unpacked on the table. She took off her shoes and made her way to the kitchen, where she made a little room for their food on the countertop. Pulling off her sweater, she peeked into the shopping bags – she wasn’t surprised to find a couple bottles of beer and food essentials, a multipack of tissues and a large box of condoms.

“What’s all this, babe?” Franklin came up to her and briefly kissed her on the lips, before looking into the boxes with deliciously smelling food.

“I just thought it might be nice to eat some goodies,” She smiled, trying to sniff out his mood first. He smiled back at her with approval and reached for the plates in the cupboard, so she continued, “also, it’s a ‘thank you for being my saviour today,’ kinda thing.”

“Ah, yeah. I bet everyone on my floor will hate BBC’s guts for that.” Frank said it so casually, with a shrug to follow up, that Millie struggled to understand the dynamic he had at The Guardian. He seemed to be a great fit for his team, because a week into his new job, he was already invited for Friday drinks and talked about his co-workers just like anyone would about their long-time friends. She couldn’t understand how was he getting so lucky at any step, but the last thing she wanted to do is doubt him. Any time worries and competitiveness clouded her brain, Millie was making extra room for compassion and support.

Frank unloaded some of the curry on his plate and started eating with a fork, and then made his way to the living room where he spread out on the sofa. He didn’t say anything else, somewhat scaring Millie that he will let her know he’s uncomfortable randomly, on a promisingly good day. Trying to figure out her brain, she followed his actions and took some extra food to the coffee table, before sitting down next to him.

“But you’re not gonna get into trouble for that, are you?” she was biting the inside of her cheek hard, definitely not used to not being judged for using someone else’s help.

“Nah, I don’t think so. They don’t know I’ve got a girl at BBC, so I should be just fine.”

Millie ate her curry in silence, suddenly at loss of words driven by his surprising statement. She didn’t want to raise an argument or seem overly sensitive. But for some reason she hoped that he would talk about her at work, especially considering his already formed strong bonds in the office, and a definitely higher success rate in his position. Ever so charming Franklin, he always glowed among people. She couldn’t really fight with this, so she just kept any comments to herself and focused on her food.

Frank switched the channel to the evening news and pulled her to his side once they were done eating. It comforted Millie to know that at the end of the day, they could both enjoy each other’s company, no matter what was happening at work. She didn’t pay much attention to the news, but rather focused on the way he reacted to it and what he enjoyed. She felt too tired to get invested in another load of politics, so she just soaked in his warmth and curled more into his side. He smelled of coffee and heavy, musky cologne that he liked to reapply frequently. Millie closed her eyes and breathed out the stress that weighed her down after a long day, finally finding peace.

“I’ll go grab a beer, you want one?” he abruptly stood up, making her slightly loose her balance and lean back towards the pillows. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips in a thin line.

“I’m good, thanks.”

“You sure? You’re awfully quiet today.” He spoke already from the kitchen, not even catching a glimpse of her pursed lips.

“I just need to wind down. It’s been stressful day.” She pushed a little smile on her cheeks as he came back with a frown. He took a few large sips of his drink and put it on the table, before lowering himself on the couch and leaning over Millie.

“I can help you relax, if you want.” He raised an eyebrow in a flirtatious manner, leaning into her and leaving a series of delicate kisses on her lips. He then moved onto her jaw and sucked on her skin, but never left a mark. Slowly massaging her waist, he slid his hand under her shirt and sprawled his fingers across her hip to pull her closer.

Millie enjoyed the warmth that started to spread through her body, but she couldn’t find any energy to give some of it back. She felt drained and exhausted, so a mere thought about participating in sexual activities was sure to make her at least slightly uncomfortable. Unless Frank was willing to change something about it.

“Okay, hold on,” her chuckle and a light push at his chest made him narrow his eyebrows in confusion, “I don’t think I’ve got enough energy today, Frankie.” Her whisper was followed by a reassuring smile. She weaved her fingers through his short hair and kissed the tip of his nose.

“What if I provide you with some energy first?”

“What, you’ll give me an energy drink?” She laughed at her poor joke and he chuckled, too, but more at her silliness than anything else. He laid her down comfortably and cautiously peppered her with kisses on her neck and the tiny bit of cleavage that was available without unbuttoning her shirt. She was slowly giving in, allowing him to get lower on her body and touch her. Frank either wanted to make her feel better, or was really horny. But whatever the case was, she didn’t want to stop him and ruin his enthusiasm. The glow in his eyes and admiration painted across his face were too intoxicating to back away. His touch was filled with sparks of emotions and a kind of drive that Millie was addicted to. She felt wanted and needed, and that’s what made her return the heated kisses despite her hooded, weary eyes.

They walked hand in hand through the chilly evening, sometime after she persuaded Frank to walk her to the nearest tube station. The wind was slightly tickling her neck, but other than that she felt at peace. She let her hair down, flowing gently with each blow of the air and lightly caressing her face like a safety blanket. They swayed their hands until they had to make room for a group of people passing by.

“Jane texted me about a little get together this Friday,” She mumbled into the night, trying not to disrupt the peaceful atmosphere around them.

“Ah, yeah. Aaron told me about it, too. I guess we’re going, right?”

“Yeah, it might be nice. The girls mentioned this new club near their apartment? I think that’s where they wanted to go.”

“Cool. I could use a little break.”

As they continued their walk, Millie mostly focused on leading the way through tight London streets. Franklin’s parents rented him an apartment in the city centre, close to everything you could dream of in London. It also meant crowded streets at any hour, so to have a nice walk around the neighbourhood usually requested it to be late at night. But it didn’t matter to him, as long as he had a short commute to the office and all other things that life requested from him, within reach. There were times when he would mention coming back to Manchester and supporting his parents at their law firm, but Millie saw how much he preferred his growing career as a journalist. Mathilda and William were a generous couple, so they shared their resources with him and tried to help him get into the business as smoothly as possible. Sometimes she wanted to ask him about his permanent position at The Guardian and whether his name had anything to do with it, but she never felt comfortable enough to do it. Some things were better left unspoken.

Reaching the staircase to the station, Franklin stopped and made her turn to him and look up at his smiling face.

“Thanks for coming over tonight. I had fun.”

“Yeah, me too.” She smiled shyly, nodding her head in reassurance.

“I wish you could finally move to the city, though. It would be so much easier if you were a few blocks away.”

“You do realize that even if I moved out, it wouldn’t be anywhere nearby?” Her chuckle resonated through her body, almost as if she wanted to humour herself at the topic that had started to come up more often in their conversations.

“I could ask around the office if anyone has a room available to rent.”

“But I don’t want to share my personal space with strangers, you know this. Don’t try to change my mind about it.” She smiled tightly.

Frank has been trying to persuade her into moving out for months. He wanted to be closer to her, within a short train journey, rather than a whole commute in and out of Kingston. He felt comfortable in the business of London, and Millie liked to call him out on being spoiled by having an apartment on his own in such a lively part of the city. But she wasn’t financially ready to leave her family home in equally comfortable Southwest London, where she had all she needed within her reach, and her social life was just a tiny bit longer train trip away. It was a source of their small disputes from time to time, because it was Millie who spent more time on going to his place and spending time there. Naturally, it made her feel more engaged in their relationship and Frank tried his best make up for the difference. But one thing that never occurred, was Millie staying over for longer than a night. Even a night’s sleepover was a rare event, somehow always blessed by excuses from either one of them.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” he pecked her lips and brushed her cheek with his thumb. “I talk about it out of concern, okay?”

“Okay. But I like my train rides and I like Kingston. So let’s just deal with it for now, yeah?”

“’Course,” He sent her a tight smile before giving her one last kiss. “Text me when you get home.”

“Will do.”

Millie was one of those people who could be easily judged as thinkers. Years of taking trains and buses in and out of central London taught her to cherish every moment of peace she gets during her journeys. That’s how she learned to create playlists for each season – summer commutes were always different than autumn ones; they required different sounds and lyrical quality. Intense months during university semesters also showed her how to read fast between the stops and how to juggle standing on the tube and holding an open book without falling, as the train slowed and rushed every few seconds.

As she was approaching her station in Kingston, she stopped the music but kept her earphones in. A bunch of other people was hurrying to get out of the train and get home as soon as possible, but after leaving the station, she would have a lonely 15-minute walk to her neighbourhood, so she always tried to stay alert in the evenings. Getting on the sidewalk in the busiest area of Kingston, she closed her book and put it back in her backpack, pulled the jacket tighter around her middle and continued her steady walk.

The air was getting crispier with each minute outside. It was refreshing and calm, disturbed only by a few laughs from the pub across the street and two cars passing her by. She turned into one of the quieter streets, where the buildings were becoming shorter and more separated from each other. Brick fences and trimmed hedges adorned the concrete sidewalks on both sides of the street, illuminated only by a few lanterns. Most of the light was coming from the windows in a row of semi-detached houses that Millie has known for a good chunk of her life.

Right when she wanted to cross the street and take a right, she heard a subtle clicking of a dog collar and a leash. Soft padding from the back was slowly approaching her and becoming louder, as well as someone’s whistle.

“Tess, come here!” a hushed call didn’t disrupt the peace of the night, but rather added the familiarity that Millie adored. She slowed her walk and turned around, just in time to be met with lightly jogging blue Staffordshire Bull Terrier. She panted lightly with her tongue out and reached Millie’s legs, where she tucked her head and mewled timidly.

“Oh, and who do we have here?” Millie chuckled at the dog’s persistence in keeping close. She scratched her head and patted her on the back, “are you on your evening walk, Tessa? Is that right?”

“We didn’t mean to scare you, Millie,” Dominic reached them and sent Millie a kind and apologetic smile, “good evening.”

“Hi, it’s good to see you.” She beamed at the middle-aged man, whom she learned to adore like a family member.

“Likewise, yeah. Heading home?”

“I am, just got off the train.”

“We will keep you company, then. Is that alright?” He fixed his glasses and leaned down to attach the leash to Tessa’s collar. Millie’s insides warmed and her mind calmed down at the idea that she will get to spend a few minutes with a friend.

“Absolutely, thank you.”

“Ah, don’t mention it. I bet Tom would have my head, hadn’t I offered,” they chuckled at the mention of his son. Their laughter died off comfortably and escaped into the night air, while Millie reminisced about the caring nature of the Hollands. “How is it going at BBC?” he asked after a moment, letting her go first through a narrow passage.

“It’s… going,” she smiled shyly, not sure how to dress up her words. In Dominic’s company she always felt one step behind in her creative skills; his writing and comic abilities exceeded her capabilities, or so she thought. “but I feel like I’ve definitely hit an end with politics. I know it’s only been a month, but it’s just… it keeps on proving that I should be writing about something else.”

“Oh, it’s totally understandable. Rest assured, you’re not the only one stuck like this,” They turned the corner onto her street. “but I wish you luck there. They have some sensible editors, so I assume you’ll get a chance at something else as well.”

“I hope so. Today I asked them about switching departments and the intern manager told me she will think about it, so there is a tiny light.”

“Something will always work out. You’re smart, you’ll find your way there.”

Dom and Millie continued down the sidewalk, until Tessa stopped near the gate to Millie’s house. She sniffed the pavement and turned back to the girl who crouched down to pet the Staffy one last time.

“Thanks for walking with me,” her smile was genuine, coming straight from her heart. “please say hi to Nikki and the boys. Is Sam still home?”

“He is, he starts his practice at the end of June. So, we all will be here to celebrate your birthdays.”

“Oh, that’s great! It’s been a while since we’ve all been together.”

“That’s true. But you’re welcome to stop by anytime.”

“I know, thank you.” With fondness painted across her face, she scratched Tessa’s ear and stood up straight, reaching for the keys in her pocket.

“Have a good night.”

“You too. Bye, Tess!”

Whenever she got the chance to interact with someone from their family, Millie instantly felt their love and care penetrate her straight to the core. It was this kind of relationship that had been built through the years, only making it stronger and bringing it closer to the concept of family.

Nikki, Dom’s wife and Anna, Millie’s mother met shortly before Millie and Tom were born. At first only neighbours, soon they became best friends to the point of engaging their families in a kind affair. Greetings at the doorstep turned into late night family dinners and weekends away with the kids. They were used to spending most of the birthdays and holidays together, especially when Millie and Tom’s birthdays two days apart brought them all closer. She raced her best friend in Anna’s womb and came out to this world right before the brown-haired boy. Ever since the Beavers celebrated the birth of their third and youngest daughter, the Hollands began their journey with four boys. They always stayed close and treated each other like family, deeming it necessary to nourish their friendship and turn it into something everlasting. The example of their parents taught Millie and Tom to mimic the closeness and made them create their own little world.

Millie’s older sisters also treated Tom, Harry, Sam and Paddy like brothers, but not as much as Millie did. Samantha and Liz were already grown toddlers when the families got together, so they figured more as the female patrons of their youngest sister and her adventures with the boys. But Millie and Tom’s friendship turned into something so effortless and harmless that no supervision was necessary. They were each other’s partners in crime, best friends from next door. Their mothers had signed them up for the same dance classes, helped them get to the same summer carnivals, and let them have late nights in makeshift dens. Millie was one of the first people their dog, Tessa, got familiar with. She missed him dearly when he started his journey as a young actor, but Nikki made sure he always made the time to call his best friend when the time zones were somewhat cooperating. They nurtured their friendship through Millie’s education and Tom’s career, not stopping even for a moment. He was there for her always, carrying her home when she scratched her knee after falling off the slings. She would help him with homework whenever he felt too embarrassed to ask his parents. Tom escorted her home from her disaster of a prom; he was the first one to understand her anxiety and help her through it. And Millie always read the books and scripts Tom needed to prepare for auditions. Just like that, they always found home in one another.

           Their house smelled of baking and freshly watered plants. As quietly as possible, Millie took off her shoes and tip-toed into the kitchen, turning on only the least invasive, small lights. She put down her backpack and lightly stretched, letting out a tired, yet content breath. Her eyes scanned the kitchen in search for the source of the sweet scent, and there it was, on a cooling rack in the corner, covered with a tea towel – fresh lemon sponge cake, the favourite of Millie’s mother. Lightly dusted with powdered sugar, it added an extra layer of sweet comfort to the late night’s atmosphere. She left the cake untouched, but put the kettle on to quickly make herself a cup of tea for a good night’s sleep. She let out an overwhelming yawn and rested her hips on the side of the countertop, patiently waiting for the water to boil.

           She felt her phone vibrate in the back pocket of her jeans. The brightness of the screen was almost blinding, until it adjusted to the low lighting in the room. She could feel the anticipation growing in the back of her head as she noticed a new message.

           (Tom) I got you something today

           After a second or two, a picture loaded under the message. Millie gasped and smiled like mad, when he showed her a pair of Minnie Mouse sequin ears. It was an artefact that Millie has always dreamt of, not having an opportunity to go to Disneyland ever in her childhood.  She awaited the chance with high hopes and wandering mind, but she knew the trip had to be thorough, well-planned, and wholesomely happy.

           (Me) You were in Disneyland????

           (Tom) yeah we did promo for spidey today 

           (Me) I’m so jealous rn

           (Me) THANK YOU FOR THE EARS!!!!!  

           (Tom) it’s alright

           (Tom) I didn’t get any weird looks at all

           (Tom) Just casually carried around this shiny sparkling beauty

           (Me) I bet you loved this feeling

           (Me) I bet you bought yourself a pair too

           (Tom) Don’t tell anyone

           (Me) You could always pretend they’re for Tessa

           (Me) I just saw her and your Dad btw

           Whenever her and Tom texted, it always sparked a never-ending conversation about sweet nothings. They mocked each other, talked about their days, spoke about all things home. It allowed them a safe space from their daily hustles; Millie was able to breathe lightly and happily, and Tom had a chance to detach from the world he desperately tried not to drown in.

           Almost spilling the tea, she slowly made it upstairs without losing the sight of her phone screen. She struggled to turn off the lights in the corridor without making a noise but somehow, she managed not to disturb her parents too much, as she reached her bedroom. Safe within her own little space, she put down the mug and let go of her backpack and jacket. She threw herself on the softest bedspread and waited patiently for Tom’s reply.

           The text bubble stopped and a massage didn’t appear, but her phone started ringing. Millie answered the FaceTime call and waited for the camera on his phone to adjust and show his familiar face.

           “I had a meeting with Disney and they want me to participate in one of their projects for a Marvel-themed ride at Disneyland,” from a crooked angle she could see his neatly gelled hair and uneven eyebrows. Tom was walking somewhere, but then sat down and perched his phone on the mug that stood on the coffee table, so that she could see him better.

           “That’s exciting, right?”

           “Oh, yeah!” She could see him rummage in a brown paper bag and pull out a box with some takeaway food. “But I’m telling you this because we could turn it into our Disneyland trip that you’ve wanted, right?”

           “That would be nice, yeah.” She smiled back at the screen, but a terrible yawn sneaked in to her expression. Tom scrunched his forehead and took a large sip from a bottle of water.

           “I didn’t wake you up now, did I?”

           “No, I just came back home. I am tired, though.”

           “Yeah? How was work?”

           “Stressful and not nice. It wasn’t a good day.”

           “Oh, I’m sorry. Wanna talk about it?”

           Tom spent the next minutes carefully listening to her words and trying not to spill his soup on his fresh clothes. He hummed to some of the stories and asked little intrusive questions, to get the whole picture. She kept rubbing at her eyes and stifling her yawns every now and then, at last making a mess of her mascara and getting it all over her skin. Despite the seriousness in her voice, Tom smiled fondly to himself at the view of her ruined face that probably mimicked her current mental state. It wasn’t something he should laugh about, but it was rather endearing to have her so comfortably sharing her lows with him, while he casually ate his lukewarm, very late lunch.

           “Why are you laughing at me?” She returned his smile, knowing it was probably something she did.

           “You made yourself look like panda.” He chewed on a chunk of chicken from his second plate. The wrinkles by his eyes deepened with each of her chuckles and proved to them that this is the lightness they need in their daily routines. “Well, it’s good you asked for a new placement. You should be comfortable in your work environment. I’m proud of you.”

           “Thanks,” she yawned again and stopped herself mid-rubbing her eye again, earning a wholesome, groggy laugh from her friend, “your dad thinks they will give me another chance.”

           “I mean, he knows some people there, so he probably has a point.”

           “Yeah, I just don’t want to get my hopes up too high, you know?” A comfortable silence rested between them after he nodded and continued munching on his food. Millie stood up from her bed and took the phone with her, but also started to slowly get ready for the night.

           “You will know when the moment feels right and shows you something worth a shot. Trust yourself, Mills.”

           “I guess…” she trailed off, making her way to the closet to find fresh pyjamas. “I’m glad my panda face entertained your… what is it, lunch break?”

           “Sort of, yeah,” he chuckled, enjoying the playfulness of her tired self, “I should be coming back in two weeks. We could hang out then, if you’ll have the time.”

           “Oh, for sure.”

           “Alright, I’ll let you rest. Text me anytime, yeah?”

           “I will. Thanks for the Minnie ears!”

           “You got it, Minnie Mouse. Sweet dreams.”

                                                          *  *  *

After her little mishap with Politics Live, Millie tried her best to keep up the hard work, but stay low. She tried not to focus too much attention and just assist other workers in their tasks, only coming up with ideas when necessary. She strived to come back to her public voice, but she knew she needed it to have a comfortable outlet, preferably in another setting and on different topics. She was greeting the intern manager with additional caution and kindness, trying her best not to leave her case forgotten.

Segregating files for the research team seemed to be the best solution to her temporary creative break. Her attention to detail and wholesome care about the task being done to its full potential came in handy. She volunteered to help the group of meticulously scribbling and researching men in keeping their documents in order.

The soft mumble of the radio in the background was interrupted by a guy named Tim. He always wore rock band t-shirts under his jackets and Millie swore she had seen him participate in a wild dance routine during the last year’s Glastonbury Festival. He stopped typing on his keyboard and started to quietly hum a song that was definitely different to what Scott Mills was announcing on Radio 1.

“Oh my God, do you guys know this song? I can’t get it out of my head!” he groaned in frustration, making a few people in the open space office chuckle.

“Do you know any words, maestro?” Millie’s head snapped up at the sound of Kim, the intern manager’s voice. She was passing by with a bunch of files and a coffee, before she perched herself on his desk, obviously making fun of her friend.

“It’s got this very cool, mariachi-like trumpet between the lines,” he mimicked a trumpet player and hummed some more, “and the guy sings something about stopping a feeling…”

“Justin Timberlake?”

“You know he’s not my jam, Kim! It’s an old-school song.”

“You’re the old-school one here.” Kim’s comment earned a couple more laughs at poor Tim, who was genuinely struggling. “you’re the researcher, have you googled it?”

“Of course I googled it, stop mocking me! People are watching.”

Their little light-hearted exchange brought a breezy atmosphere to the office and made Millie smile some more. She kept on looking up at Tim to check if he’s found the song he was looking for, but without luck. Her fingertips started to tingle with each swipe through the pages in a file, because she felt like she knew the song. Deciding to come against her decision to lay low, she gently cleared her throat and swallowed her nerves of speaking up in a new environment.

“Hey Tim, have you tried to find it on Spotify?” they both looked at Millie with playful smiles, as anyone would to the up and coming intern fresh out of university.

“I don’t think it’s the title of the song, so I won’t find it there.”

“But you actually could,” she offered, biting her lip nervously “since the recent update, you can now type in the lyrics into the search bar and the results will show you all licensed songs with the same or similar lyrics.” Tim instantly reached for his phone and started typing away.

“Oh really? I didn’t know that, let’s see…” Kim looked into his phone and watched his progress.

“And since you’ve remembered a catchy verse, it’s very possible that others also tried to find this song through the same words. So, it will probably come up within the first few results.”

“Alright, smarty.” He shook his head in amusement. Millie watched as Kim’s face got ridden of any emotion and just stared at Tim’s work.

“But if nothing comes up, you can always try ‘Hooked on a Feeling’ by Blue Swede.”

Millie waited with racing heart at their reactions. Tim clicked on one of the results and raised the volume, filling the room with a sound so familiar to Millie’s memory. She smiled shyly and internally patted herself on the back, before coming back to her task.

           “How did you know this song?” His triumphant smile was radiating, as he did a little dance in his seat and twirled on his rolling chair. “It’s such an old tune, I didn’t think your generation would know it!”

           “Yeah Millie, how did you know?” Kim encouraged his question and watched her carefully, almost as if she was studying her intern.

           “It’s in the soundtrack to Guardians of the Galaxy. I wrote a paper on it.”

           “Hm.” Kim’s unreadable expression was giving Millie chills, but in a positive way. She liked to be asked about things that interested her and prompted her to be creative, so the way this situation evolved was close to burst her heart into passionate flames. “I’ll ask the Radio managers if they want a music and pop culture geek, how’s that sound?”

           It sounded like Millie put the trust in herself at the right time.  

****

tagged: @peeterparkr @katieraven @kozybear@sunsetholland @hey-marlie @lauras-collection@cunaeparker @constellationsv @heyhihellowhatsup0 @spideyspeaches

If it bothers you that you’re tagged, please let me know!

[vulgarloon]

Trust my fucking rage, bro

Apart from general reasons, I have some very personal ones why I HATE antis and people saying:

dont ship xx shipping xx is bad you encourage and promote xx by liking these ships tHiNk AbOuT mInOrS!

First of all, can we please talk about the hypocrisy of people saying that shipping some fictional characters is A SIN, immorality and a pure transgression, while there are THOUSANDS of people who LOVE Game of Thrones with all the bloody and horrific mess it includes, or Cannibal or Silence of the lambs, or many other twisted and abnormal fictional stuff which are considered okay to be widely broadcasted? How do these things differ in any way and why fictional ships promote socialy unaccaptable behaviour, and fictional stories in books or tv shows don't?

Do y'all want to go and eat people after watching that 'sexy cannibal dude' doing shit like that? Do y'all want to become doctor and go slaughter criminals like Dexter? Have children with your daughters like that fucker from GOT? No? Then why shipping Thor and Loki or Tony and Peter or whatever pairing is not quite 'normal' will instantly make you 'not normal'? It reminds me of this fucking ridiculous and gross homophobic statement that some people are trying to push forward, the idea that if you show homosexual characters in some shows then children will ALL INSTANTLY BECOME GAY, because apparently that's how some people's world works - you just look at the fucking chair and then BECOME THE CHAIR YOURSELF. Fuck this, aight?

Do you guys understand what fiction and fantasy are? Does anyone has any idea about humans' imagination properties and how our psyche uses it? Have you heard about sexual fantasies and people NEVER EVER wanting to implement even the tiniest of details from these fantasies into their lives, because they are just FANTASIES? I bet no, and this enormous gap in our knowledge about orselves makes us angry, anxious, when we encounter something we can't exlain due to lack of knowledge. We are scared of stuff we don't understand and people want to destroy things they are afraid of.

Secondly, would you kindly stop the fuss about minors? Show me someone who ever said that any social media is definitely for minors and 100% safe and is made out of rainbows and cotton candy. Since when internet in general and websites such as tumblr, ao3, twitter are for children? Also shouldn't it be parents' responsibility to keep their children safe and teach them about internet safety rules? Or maybe 24-h available and totally free pornhub is somehow less harmful for them then fanfictions or art? I mean that's definitely the place to get some super healthy behavior examples.

And lastly, my personal reason for such an unexpected outlash. I recently understood that all my life I was told to do everyhting considering only what others will think or feel and ignoring myself. I was always forced to keep my thoughts and feelings locked inside, just to make sure no one will be hurt. I wasn't allowed to show my anger, my tears, my resentment because it could have somehow 'break' people around me, who apparently were so much weaker than myself, a distressed child with smothered emotions.

Long story short, I have learned to hide my real emotions flawlessly, immaculately, to degree where I couldn't even understand what I was feeling and the only thing I had inside me was apathy and emptiness. Thanks to my friends and my psychologist I am slowly learning how to feel as myself again and how to let my emotions just be there. And now I want to tear apart anyone who is trying to strangle me and my feelings. And since I have strong feelings for the ships I like, this kind of fuckery and antis with their very important and very relevant opinion on stuff no one asked them about makes me bloody ferocious.

Take care of your own safety, you sugar princessess and princes, get the fuck out of the places you don't like and take all the minors with you. Block shit you don't want to see, nobody owes you nothing, and the whole community, a whole bunch of adult people with their interests won't change or shut up or stop existing just to ensure your comfort.

[the-final-sif]

"i trust you" under the lying quirk oh no that killed me. Imagine the bakugous in the katsuki hakamata au but without anybody realizing whats going on so baby doesnt get adopted (canon?), and Bakugou not trusting adults ohhhh dear

God, Katsuki getting hit by a lying quirk would be super interesting.

I think it’d have to be that he bumped into someone, maybe someone in gen ed or a kid or something. They don’t realize their quirk activated because Katsuki yelled at them afterwards and they thought he was fine.

The rules for the quirk are a bit more complex than just forcing someone to say stuff that’s untrue, it forces a person to try to deceive other people.

As such:

Any form of communication is affected, although to varying degrees.

The quirk compels the affected person to deceive other people on any given matter. This can mean telling lies directly, but it also means the person will dodge questions/refuse to answer if simply lying would reveal the truth.

Speech/typing/writing is all forced to be lies in some form or another.

Body language/facial expressions are somewhat effected, although less so.

The quirk lasts for 24 hours or so.

Katsuki gets to class, and he feels fine right up until a teacher asks him a question. He opens his mouth to tell them the answer, but instead finds himself saying he doesn’t know. He’s extremely confused as this pattern repeats. When Mina asks if he’s okay after their first class, he tries to tell her something’s wrong, only to find himself saying that everything’s fine and to mind her own business.

This keeps up until lunch, by which point, Izuku has solidly picked up that something is wrong with Katsuki. He approaches Katsuki about it towards the end of lunch, only to have Katsuki look him in the eye and say, “Everything’s fucking fine with me, Midoriya.”

Good news; This clearly communicates to Izuku that something is wrong.

Bad news; Izuku has anxiety, and Katsuki has never called him by his last name, so he assumes that he did something horribly wrong and offended Katsuki without meaning to. He tries to apologize and ask what he did, but it’s ineffective and Izuku retreats to try and figure it out.

This means that Kirishima approaches Katsuki, also trying to figure out what’s wrong with him. He asks Katsuki what’s bothering him, and Katsuki tells him that He’s bothering him. Because of the lying quirk, Katsuki sounds so serious that Kirishima is now convinced it’s something that both he and Izuku did, so he also leaves Katsuki alone for fear of angering him further.

Lunch ends with the whole class on edge and trying to figure out what Kirishima and Izuku did. One of the students, probably Iida, informs Midnight whose their next teacher that something seems to be wrong with Katsuki. He indicates that it’s some sort of serious friendship fight/emotional issue. Midnight pulls Katsuki out of class ahead of time to speak to him, telling him that he can talk to her if something’s up.

Katsuki looks at her, and all he can see are images in his mind of being chained up at the sports festival. A muzzle in his mouth, chains on his arms, fucking thousands of people watching, and her part in putting him there. It’s been awhile, but that’s the sorta shit that’s hard to overcome. Particularly after it got broadcast on national TV, and villains decided they liked what they saw.

So, with all of that in mind, his mouth opens and he speaks in a reluctant but oddly soft voice.

“I fucking trust you, and I’ll tell you if there’s shit I want to talk about, but there’s nothing on my mind right now.”

And Midnight buys it. Later, in the staff room, she’ll brag to the other teachers about it. That she was the first one Katsuki said he trusted. It strikes Aizawa as odd, but he doesn’t speak up for fear of being called jealous. Maybe he is, a bit.

In the meantime, a grouchy Katsuki returns to class to suffer through the rest of the day, telling lie after lie of “I’m fine.”. He says a few odd things, like telling Denki that he ‘well and truly thinks he’s a complete moron without even a flicker of light on in that head of his’, mentioning in response to someone that he’s never gotten a nightmare in his life, and pissily telling Uraraka that she’s a total coward who he doesn’t even have an ounce of respect for. Everyone assumes he’s just in an awful mood though, and takes to avoiding him.

At the end of training for the day, Katsuki took a few hits which he blows off any concerns about and stomps his way back to the dorms. Tired, frustrated, and hoping he can just sleep off the quirk. His plan is to hide in his room until it’s over.

Only, Kirishima just can’t let sleeping dogs lie. He knocks on the door until Katsuki opens up, only to be greeted by his friend’s tear stained face.

Kirishima gives a watery, heart felt apology, asking Katsuki to please tell him what he did, because Kirishima has been desperately trying to figure it out but he can’t come up with anything. He promises he didn’t mean to hurt Katsuki, but he knows the other is clearly genuinely upset about it, so for their sake of their friendship, won’t Katsuki please tell him what he did wrong?

And in that moment, all Katsuki can think about is how much he cares about Kirishima. How much he doesn’t deserve a friend this kind and good. His mouth takes hold of that thought, eyes narrowing in anger that isn’t his own, and they start shaping out, horrible, horrible words.

“I hate y-”

Katsuki is cut off by himself slamming the door shut, having wrestled back a tiny bit of control from the quirk to prevent himself from saying something he can’t ever take back. He locks the door and steels himself against Kirishima’s crying, because even though every part of him wants to go comfort his friend, he knows he can’t.

It’s silent for a long, long time after that.

Given that that was such a shitshow, Katsuki’s expecting to be left alone for the evening. He doesn’t think there’s anyone else in the dorms stupid enough to come try to talk to him after Kirishima was sent sobbing.

Surprise though, there is!

Shouto had heard about what happened with Kirishima, after he spent most of the evening trying to console a panicked and heartbroken Izuku. Comforting people is hard for him, and he feels like he’s doing a shit job of it. So instead, he decided to try to solve the mystery of what’s going on. He’s not sure what Katsuki’s deal is, but he’s going to get to the bottom of it, even if he has to break down Katsuki’s door to do it.

To rephrase that a little;

Shouto breaks down Katsuki’s door after he refuses to answer, to try to get to the bottom of what’s going on.

After a bit of angry yelling, Shouto demands to know what Kirishima and Izuku did to upset Katsuki so much. Katsuki wants desperately to say that they didn’t do anything, but again the quirk forces him to lie.

“They know what they fucking did!”

Shouto, whose stubbornness can match Katsuki’s on a good day, shoots back that the two of them don’t know what they did, and that Katsuki needs to explain what’s causing him to behave so weirdly. Again though,

“Those assholes know what they did, and I’m not fucking behaving weirdly!”

And then a thought strikes Katsuki, and out of desperation, he tries something.

“Those assholes know what they did, and I’m not fucking behaving weirdly!”

One more time, red eyes fixed on Shouto now, pleading.

“Those assholes know what they did, and I’m not fucking behaving weirdly!”

He can’t repeat the phrase again, the quirk has caught onto his trick, so now he’s left wondering if Shouto got the message.

Here’s the thing. Shouto can be dense at times. He really can be. But he’s also willing to leap to ridiculous conclusions based on limited evidence, and sometimes, just sometimes, that’s exactly what a situation calls for. Maybe it’s Katsuki saying it three times, or maybe it’s the desperate look in his eyes, but Shouto gets the hint.

“Katsuki, what color is your hair?”

It’s a weird fucking question, but Katsuki is relieved knowing that Shouto’s got it now. He finds himself dodging the question, getting hostile, but Shouto stays patient and firm, demanding an answer and asking other, simple, straight forward questions that Katsuki is unable to answer. After a handful of those, he’s convinced Katsuki is unable to say the truth, and he connects the dots that Katsuki���s been hit by a quirk.

Obviously, he takes this information to Aizawa, who in turn checks the school’s cameras from that morning. There they find the student that Katsuki ran into, and get an explanation on the rules of the quirk. It’s only 24 hours, which is almost up, so really all that’s left to do is for Shouto to go tell the others what’s been going on.

Oh, and Aizawa has to check on Katsuki, because unfortunately he distinctly recalls the kid saying he was fine after training that day when Aizawa asked if he’d taken any hits.

Aziawa has to ask a number of questions to suss out if Katsuki is actually okay. Not to mention trying to get permission to check and wrap Katsuki’s (thankfully minor) injuries from training. It’s uncomfortable as hell for him, but some of Katsuki’s answers give him pause.

“Fuck off, I don’t trust you.“ 

“I don’t want you here. Leave." 

“You’re the last person I want to see right now.”

And sure, it’s not quite the same as hearing Katsuki say that he trusted him or that he wanted Aizawa there, and Aizawa’s not going to take anything said under the quirk at face value, but it still warms his heart a bit. Because he knows what the kid is really saying.

In the afterwards, once the quirk is gone, Katsuki is tackle hugged by Kirishima who he assures he is not mad at. Izuku is still crying, but he’s always crying, and it’s a better sort of crying this time as he joins in on the hug that Katsuki reluctantly allows. There’s some teasing, but mostly the class doesn’t take what happened to heart.

Midnight pulls Katsuki aside again to talk, and after this whole mess, he’s just very tired. After he confirms he said what he said the day prior under the influence of the quirk, she’s hurt, asking if that’s really how he feels. If he really doesn’t trust his own teacher. And Katsuki knows this is when he’s supposed to comfort her, but he’s too fucking done for that shit.

Instead, he gives her an exhausted look and asks her what she expected after the sports festival. It catches her off guard, but he doesn’t relent, saying that he said what he said. The quirks worn off now, so If she wants someone to lie to her to make her feel better about what happened, then she’ll need to find someone else, because Katsuki doesn’t do lying. Then he leaves, because he’s got other shit to do.

And after that Fun Talk, and after this entire experience, Katsuki is emotionally raw, but he still has to talk with Aizawa. It’s a thankfully quick conversation, but afterwards he mumbles out a thanks to his teacher. Then even more hesitantly, he double checks that Aizawa knew Katsuki was lying when he said those things last night.

Aizawa says of course, he understands it was the quirks effects and he’s not holding it against Katsuki. Katsuki replies that that’s good, and then quietly and quickly, he makes eye contact with and says he does trust him, and there’s nobody else he would’ve rather handle that situation. Katsuki being Katsuki, he barely gets the words out before he’s off in a huff with his face red, leaving his teacher in shock behind him.

Somehow, despite all the chaos caused, Aizawa still finds himself secretly glad for that stupid quirk.

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Bad Manners (S2, E5)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:35 - Martin totally thought John Watkins abducted and killed Ainsley. Mark my words. 

0:44 - Holy. Shit. Ainsley is FIVE years old (or younger) here right? A five year old with that much determination?!?! She literally stayed silent in that clock for probably hours......and no one was concerned about this kid when Martin was arrested because...?

1:09 - Anyone else impressed with Malcolm’s aim here? Just me?

1:20 - Gil and Malcolm talking about sleep and murder is so freaking sweet. <3 Honestly, they’re acting like friends instead of co-workers and it warms my cold dead heart. 

1:29 - Does Gil become a grumpy old man when he doesn’t get 8 hours sleep? I really want to know now. 

1:39 - OMG. Gil pointing at Ainsley here is hilarious. He’s totally acting like some weird mix of a stern pissed off high-school teacher, and a step-dad trying to discipline an unruly teen. hahaha AND MALCOLM’S FACE. Look how done Malcolm is. He looks so so tired, sad, and exasperated. 

1:44 - Wow. Girl power. Ainsley has those camera guys bending to her will. I honestly would’ve thought they would just read the situation and turn the camera off themselves. 

1:47 - “It’s not a game.” Yikes. I have thoughts about this:

Malcolm is right - it’s not a game. 

Malcolm is a bit of a hypocrite for saying that to Ainsley. Although, to his credit even when Malcolm is excited/inappropriately happy about murder it’s always pretty clear that he thinks murder is wrong, and that he has sympathy for the victims and their families. 

Ainsley does not have that same sympathy for the victims. That much is clear later in this episode. 

Pretty sure the writers are trying to turn Ainsley into a serial killer this season. 

2:13 - “You know I like to share these things with my friends.” .....does this mean Malcolm thinks Dani and JT are his friends now? Last I checked (Ep 1x05) Malcolm didn’t have friends. This absolutely melts my heart. <3 I’m honestly so happy that Malcolm considers someone other than Gil to be his friend.

2:18 - “We lost Dani to vice.” .....What is vice? AND WHAT IS THE REAL LIFE REASON THAT DANI WASN’T IN THIS EPISODE?!? 

2:19 - Edrisa has a medical degree right? She has to know how dangerous consuming that much caffeine is right? Plus aren’t energy drinks super dangerous if you drink a lot of them (or maybe that’s just what adults in my neighbourhood told kids)?

2:30 - Edrisa SHINES in this episode. She’s so funny and awkward and I just love her. 

2:36 - hahaha Gil has adopted the whole team. Look at him throwing the “Dad warning stare” at Edrisa. 

3:31 - Why does Edrisa start bouncing around looking upset when Malcolm says, “rejection is a powerful motivator”?!?! Has she recently been broken up with or something? Is this a reference to how she has a crush on Malcolm (who doesn’t reciprocate)? I WANT MORE INFORMATION.

3:47 - TWIZZLERS!!! <3 Damn I love how this tiny detail about Malcolm’s character keeps coming up. 

3:55 - Ainsley is on a rampage this episode. She’s so determined ...actually she’s acting a lot like Jessica (think girl in the box bracelet). However, unlike Jessica, Ainsley’s motives aren’t about justice or the safety of her loved ones.  Ainsley is chasing personal gain (career) with a side of (a subconscious?) need to be exposed to murder and her father’s twisted world. 

4:05 - This whole interaction between Ainsley and Malcolm is really interesting. Ainsley is knowingly manipulating Malcolm to get the answers she wants. We’ve seen her do it in 2x4 and 1x19. She knows her big brother would do anything for her. It makes sense, they’re five years apart and after the trauma they experienced as children Malcolm felt responsible to protect Ainsley. He never wants to disappoint Ainsley. Not a burden he should’ve had to deal with but I digress. PLUS Malcolm looks weary of Ainsley here. He knows what she’s doing. He’s scared that she’s turning to the dark side. But he still gives her the answers because if he doesn’t - that means something has changed. He thinks that would make Ainsley suspicious and then she might remember what happened to Endicott. He’s scared of and for Ainsley. 

4:32 - OKAY. I’ll say it. The thing that annoys me the most about this episode is that it suggests that Ainsley was a debutant when in 1x6 AINSLEY TELLS MARTIN SHE WAS NEVER A DEBUTANT. She went to etiquette school - I guess that doesn’t strictly mean she also did debutant balls but it sort of suggests it in the context of this episode? Did she actually graduate from the etiquette school (there was bullying, maybe she was expelled/dropped out similar to Malcolm and Remington?)?

4:59 - “No stabbies” OMG. How is this show not classified as a comedy?!? Istg I laugh harder watching this ‘drama’ then I do watching most of the shows that call themselves ‘comedies’.

5:35 - It’s honestly kind of amazing that Ainsley and Malcolm are as ‘sane’ as they are. They were raised by a stubborn predatory psychopath and a stubborn rich meddling socialite. They had no chance of normalcy. Look at the amount of pleasure Martin is currently getting by throwing his son under the bus with regards to Jessica. 

 5:45 - “No actually, I cleaned it up.”.....does this have a dual meaning? Did Martin do something to make Malcolm dispose of the body? We already know that Martin has tried some sort of conditioning on Malcolm (remember ‘C’mon boy!’ from 1x14? The stabbing?). What if Martin said some sort of trigger word to control Malcolm and coerced Malcolm into getting rid of the body? What if this isn’t the first time?

6:05 - Ainsley is a sociopath. I’m calling it again. I called it when I first watched Q&A (1x7) because the way she treated Malcolm was more than just selfish/careless. It was cruel and she didn’t feel any remorse for literally broadcasting her brother’s private health details on television. That is messed up. I honestly won’t be shocked if the writers make Ainsley a full blown serial killers (although I’m not sure I want that because I don’t know how Malcolm would remain the main character if the story goes in that direction?). 

6:12 - Poor Jessica. I honestly feel really bad for her. Sure, she’s a headstrong alcohol dependant crazy rich woman. She also has a good heart. She’s been dealt a pretty shitty hand when it comes to relationships (minus Gil but she ruined that because she’s a MORON) and now she’s terrified that her own children have become monsters and she blames herself. She definitely hasn’t been a perfect mother but I don’t think she’s to blame for Ainsley and Malcolm’s obsession with murder. If these kids had a different bio dad, they would probably just have a low-key drug problem or some other common rich kid baggage. 

6:15 - “You know that’s not how cancer works right?” LOL. hahahaha

6:33 - Martin kind of has a point. There’s no rehab for murder. That’s why he’s been in jail for 20 years and he still wants to kill people. In my opinion, given what we’ve seen of Ainsley’s personality: as soon as she fully remembers that night - she’s gone. She’ll go full serial killer and Jessica and Malcolm will lose her forever. 

6:40 - Jessica’s little jazz hand finger twinkle as she spins on her heel and leaves Martin kills me. It’s so extra. It’s so funny. And it’s sooo Jessica. 

6:47 - Damn. Martin is pissed. I’m worried. That’s murder-level rage. If he escapes ISTG Martin is going to try and kill Gil. For so many reasons 1) because he hates Gil, 2) it’ll hurt Jessica, and 3) killing Gil will eliminate his ‘Dad’ competition. 

6:54 - Edrisa on caffeine is AMAZING.

7:43 - I love Edrisa but her blatant, unreciprocated crush on Malcolm is honestly getting a little creepy. 

7:52 - Gil spent all last season drinking out of a Yankee’s mug. Doesn’t that mean he’s a baseball fan? Why doesn’t he know this pitcher guy?

7:56 - hahahaa “Where is JT?” Because obviously JT is the team sports fan. 

8:22 - Does Gil get nightmares about cases? He always seems really uncomfortable around the dead bodies. 

8:45 - “And suddenly I’m wide awake” SERIOUSLY - is anyone else laughing every 60 seconds when they watch this show? Is my sense of humour just super dark and messed up?

8:54 - YES. The liquorice is BACK.

9:00 - I love Malcolm talking to JT about his obsession with candy. I love how Malcolm doesn’t even hesitate before giving JT an honest answer. Malcolm is acting like JT’s annoying little brother and I am here for it. One thing I did notice though - Malcolm specifically mentions candy+dopamine but doesn’t mention his depression/anxiety. Processed sugar can be a short-term (unhealthy) way to boost your mood. It’s why some people eat their feelings. I really want more backstory about Malcolm with the lollipops and licorice though. 

9:19 - “But you didn’t do anything wrong.” Awwww Malcolm is so soft here. I love how much he genuinely cares about JT. <3 I love how JT is comfortable enough with Malcolm to give him an honest answer. <3 THEIR RELATIONSHIP HAS GONE THROUGH SUCH A GLOW UP. <3 

9:32 - “Like toy dolls?” hahaha the way Malcolm perked up here. All I could think was “SQUIRREL!” hahaha. 

9:41 - Malcolm is doing better than he has been the past few episodes? I mean he’s still suffering and he’s still in a terrible mental state. BUT he also seems happier? IDK maybe he’s just entered the more manic nervous energy stage of his emotions as opposed to the depressed and scared stage. 

9:49 - “Deep childhood trauma”. So we’re looking for a debutant killer with childhood trauma who is chasing perfection? Debutant = rich lady culture. Like Ainsley. AND Ainsley went to the same etiquette school as the first two victims. The writer’s wanted us to assume the killer was Ainsley for the first 15 mins of this episode right? I’m not the only one seeing it?

10:04 - “My sister went there too.” ....why is there something super attractive about the way that line was delivered?

10:08 - I’m so done with this absolute tom foolery. Why does the team keep splitting up into two teams - where one team is JUST MALCOLM. The one who is unarmed and technically a civilian?!? This makes no logical sense to me (except for plot).

10:25 - Was Martin just about to say, “Just like the old days”?!? Is Martin referring to Endicott? OR is Martin referring to something that Malcolm’s repressed from his childhood?

10:30 - “I always root for the bad guys.” .....finally some truth from Martin.

10:40 - Soooooo I guess Mr. David doesn’t know? I promise you Mr. David has suspicions though. How could he not?!?!

11:24 - “It was brutal for Ains.” Look at how sad Malcolm is! Ugh. This hurts so much. He clearly loves his sister so so much and what she’s done is slowly killing him. I honestly think that part of the reason Malcolm helped Ainsley dispose of the body is that Malcolm doesn’t want to loose his sister. His sister is one of the only good things he’s always been able to count on. If word gets around that she’s a killer - Malcolm’s fragile world gets shattered a little more and I don’t know if Malcolm can recover mentally from that. 

11:36 - “Teasing made her capable of...stuff.” C’MON. There’s no way Mr. David doesn’t know. 

11:45 - Sooo is Martin saying that he recognized that Ainsley was a sociopath when she was a small child? Or did she just respond to his (or John Watkins’) grooming much ‘better’ than Malcolm?

11:56 - “Because she’s her mother’s” Okay. So I see the point. I can see that Ainsley is driven and stubborn like Jessica. BUT it feels like Martin is suggesting that Jessica is capable of murder? Which - I honestly don’t think she is. If anything - Malcolm is more like Jessica than Ainsley is.

11:59 - There was a look in Martin’s eyes when he was comparing Ainsley to Jessica that really freaked me out. I can’t figure out why. It makes me wonder if Martin still somehow views Jessica as ‘his possession’ (he refers to her as his wife all the time but I always assumed that was just to get a rise out of people?). Martin’s dream from 2x4 certainly suggests that he still wants Jessica romantically. I honestly think he’s going to try to escape and rekindle the romance with Jess; and it’s going to go very poorly when Jessica rejects him. 

12:06 - Preach JT. Preach. This is creepy af. 

13:00 - Ugh. Of course this creep has a history of indecent exposure. Now I understand why Gil and JT were hostile with the dude right from the start. 

13:12 - Man. People will use the Bible to justify anything. No wonder people hate Christians ( I say this as a practicing Christian).

13:18 - JT is such a good dude. I’m so glad he’s a dad now. <3 He’s going to be such a good one. <3

13:26 - “One phone call and this place will be shut down.” OH SHIT. GIL THAT IS VICIOUS AND I RESPECT THE SHIT OUT OF IT.

13:35 - I soooo thought that dude was going to sprint out of that room. 

14:30 - THIS. YES. This is why I have a problem with Ainsley’s enthusiasm for murder vs. Malcolm’s. Ainsley’s enthusiasm is centred on her nee to ‘get the story’. She’s obsessed with forwarding her career and as a result she’s treating crime like a competitive sport. Malcolm’s obsession (while it can border on creepy and reckless) is always centred on his need to find the killer and stop the murders. Malcolm is seeking justice and his heart is in the right place. I can’t say the same for Ainsley.

14:31 - “We’re brother and sister, everything is a competitive sport”.....whoever wrote this doesn’t have a sibling they experienced trauma with as a kid (and as a result was raised by a single parent). Seriously, my dad was abusive he lived with us until I was 10 and my brother was 7. Then my parents got divorced and my mom was a single parent (he didn’t pay child support or see his kids after the divorce). Are my brother and I competitive? Sure sometimes. But the way we grew up forced us to become partners. Annoyed with Mom? Let’s rant about it together. Is he struggling in math? I’ll tutor him in exchange for a Reese cup. Am I struggling at daycare because I have massive social anxiety? He’ll include me in whatever he’s doing so I’m not sitting alone in a corner. My point: siblings who experience trauma together don’t have the typical sibling relationships that are widely televised in North America. There’s a lot less fighting and competition and a lot more teaming up and commiserating. 

14:39 - “It. It’s terrible.” - Notice how Ainsley didn’t actually say how it made her feel? She gave the standard “TV response” to a murder “a terrible/horrific/tragedy has occurred”. She doesn’t feel bad that these women are dead. She’s too consumed with getting a story to even stop and let herself feel anything. I’ve been saying it since last season - the way Ainsley shows no regard for other people and their feelings when she’s obsessed with her job is concerning. 

14:50 - “Remind me of the people who cut us off after Dad’s arrest.” ...Are you kidding me?!? The whole fandom has been speculating about this since early season one and they’re not going to elaborate on that line?!? I’m going to need some more information about this and it better be in the upcoming episode where Jessica’s younger sister appears. 

15:40 - She thinks of her students as family? Sooo what does she think of Ainsley? Wasn’t Ainsley bullied at this school? Did she do anything about it? 

16:00 - this is like a ‘weekend/evening school’ right? Kids aren’t living in this house like a boarding school/summer camp?

16:01 - “Mr. Whitly” UGH. This bitch preaches etiquette and she doesn’t even have the common courtesy to call Malcolm by the name with which he introduced himself? Nah. I don’t like her. 

16:13 - Ugh. Ainsley, seriously? Why don’t you help your brother solve the case. AND PREVENT MORE MURDERS. Why are you indirectly but purposely obstructing justice?

16:37 - “Of course.” Huh. Do you think Martin might try and manipulate Ainsley into killing Malcolm? Ainsley definitely capable of it. She doesn’t actually seem to care about Malcolm nearly as much as he cares about her. 

17:17 - WTF?!? That’s creepy af. How did no one in this show think this assistant was a suspect? She has a super creepy doll that she ‘forgot’ on the floor the middle of a hallway. AND THE DOLL WAS STANDING UP. Not sitting, not dropped carelessly, STANDING UP.

17:30 - Look at Malcolm’s face. He’s definitely going to be having nightmares about that doll. 

18:25 - OMG. This was amazing. JT just totally bulldozed his way into catching that dude. Very badass. Also kind of funny (maybe that’s just my messed up sense of humour again?).

18:44 - Ugh. This dude has a thing for dolls. I don’t want to kink shame but - no. no. There’s something really gross about that.  

18:48 - I’ve seen some people say that this doll looks like Ainsley and how that’s supposed to be some sort of foreshadowing/symbolism. I kind of see it? I mean the hair colour is similar and if you pause the screen at 18:48 the angle kind of looks like Ainsley? It would be an interesting metaphor though - Ainsley played with dolls as a little girl. John Watkins gave her angel statues. She is Watkins’ and Martin’s doll’ in the sense that she was the object that murders manipulated/groomed. 

18:53 - Then again, pause the screen here and there’s something about the facial structure that looks like Dani to me. 

19:00 - Jessica lets Ainsley work in the murder office?!? No. No she doesn’t. This is garbage. Jessica would’ve forbade it. Jessica would’ve bordered up this room immediately after Watkins.

19:57 - Poor Jessica. She’s clearly terrified that she’s losing Ainsley and terrified of Ainsley. BUT Jess, sweetie, running to Europe won’t fix this. 

20:16 - “She wanted the dolls to look like her students.” AND PEOPLE SEND THEIR CHILDREN TO HER?!? WTF?!? NO. NO. NO. NOT OKAY. 

20:31 - HAHA look at Gil’s face when Trevor tells him he can make the ‘perfect woman’. Gil’s like WTF - can I arrest you for thinking you can fabricate a ‘perfect woman’?!!?

21:06 - Malcolm is having so much fun playing with Trevor’s doll head. Look at how excited he is. It’s kind of adorable but his manic energy is showing which is concerning. 

21:10 - Why is Trevor giving his doll fancy 1940s(ish) names? 

21:31 - Props to LDP. I honestly believed Gil was annoyed with Malcolm for barging in on the interrogation the first time I watched this. 

21:42 - “They got a word for everything.” hahaha OMG. This is so reminiscent of a teenager explaining some new tech to their tech-illiterate parents. 

22:00 - I can’t tell if Gil feels sorry for this creep or if he just thinks the dude is really gross. Probably a mixture. 

23:00 - Oh we’re bringing up the chloroform again. At least Malcolm knows not listen to Martin about this nonsense. 

23:25 - “It doesn’t feel fun.” - THIS. This is why I honestly don’t think Malcolm will ever become a serial killer. His guilt complex is just too big.

23:56 - Are. You. Kidding. Me? This is next level. Ainsley is so out of line here. AND SHE SHOWS NO REMORSE. SHE DOESN’T THINK SHE’S DONE ANYTHING WRONG. THIS GIRL HAS GONE DARK SIDE (she was already halfway there).

24:17 - I’m getting papa!Gil vibes when Gil is talking to Ainsley and I want more scenes of them interacting. Seriously, did Gil have a relationship with Ainsley when she was a kid? I MUST KNOW.

24:45 - Ainsley has no conscience. I honestly don’t think Ainsley has a conscience. 

25:00 - “Who is that!?” Malcolm is totally acting like he’s Ainsley’s father-figure right now. I’m here for it. 

25:22 - SORE LOSERS?!? I’m sorry. What? If you weren’t concerned about Ainsley you damn well should be now. That is seriously messed up. People are dead. This is not a game. Do you know who else thought murder was a game? Martin Whitly.

25:31 - Okay. Ainsley has a point. Malcolm lecturing anyone about being reckless is pretty hypocritical. But at least Malcolm cares about her. 

25:54 - Heart. Shattered. Look at how terrified Jessica is. Look at how gentle and reassuring Gil is. UGh. WHY DID SHE BREAK UP WITH HIM??! I mean, I know why I just think she’s a moron for doing it. 

26:00 - Poor Gil. He’s so confused and so concerned. The whole Whitly family is acting crazier then usual and he doesn’t know why. 

26:11 - “Both you and Malcolm are at an 11 and I’ve never seen Ainsley like that.” FIND YOURSELF A MAN WHO CARES LIKE GIL AND NEVER LET HIM GO. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Seriously. The love and concern he shows for this family warms my cold dead heart. 

26:16 - “Her father?!” Oh shit. Now Gil knows there’s something BIG happening. Jessica would never run to Martin unless she absolutely had to. 

26:19 - annnnd Gil’s also being a prideful man who’s feeling are hurt. “You went to him?” He’s right to be though - the woman he loves went to a serial killer for advice before going to the guy who practically co-parented with her. 

26:33 - “I’m here. Whatever you need. I’m here.” <3 <3 Gil is the definition of a good man. <3 I’m in love with it. 

26:48 - “You were right on time for me.” ....*snort* subtle Gil (and in front of JT!!)

27:08 - Edrisa is hysterical on caffeine. hahaha. This whole scene is perfect. 

27:20 - You know someone is acting manic when Malcolm Bright is concerned about their eccentric behaviour. 

27:34 - Annnnnd Tom Payne was a split second from breaking character here. I don’t blame him. hahaha

28:05 - EDRISA flipping and dropping that pencil. HAHAHAHAHAHA

29:10 - “Absolutely not.” hahaha this is funny but also really sweet. Malcolm knows that Edrisa hopped up on caffeine isn’t safe to have near an active killer. Who knows what’ll happen. I wish he’d care that much about his own well being. Looks like calling for backup last episode was a one time thing. 

30:37 - I’ll give the writers one thing - Miss Windsor makes a convincing murder suspect.

31:22 - GIL. STANDING. UP. FOR. JT. IS. EVERYTHING. Where is O’Malley’s back up? Oh yeah, they’re not brave enough to defend him.

32:00 - Huh. Bright texted for backup. This is growth. I’m proud of him. 

32:15 - YES. This JT arc was handled right. Sure JT could’ve complained. It would’ve been episodes upon episodes of bureaucratic nightmares and injustice. This show isn’t about racism. They showed enough to portray that the system is broken and they had JT act like a responsible adult. It’s not fair that JT had to go through this or that he’ll likely experience something similar to it again. But the fact that JT is acting like a bigger person is perfect. JT will protect his family. Always. That includes Malcolm. So JT avoids putting through a formal complaint because he knows that will take time away from doing his job, from protecting others, from hanging out with his wife and kid. JT’s taking the higher road, it might not be gratifying or fair but I respect the hell out of him for taking it. 

32:28 - Gil is so so proud of JT. Look at him. <3 <3 

33:40 - Look, Miss Windsor is a bit of a stuck up bitch but she has a good heart. Look at the way she immediately tells Malcolm where Ainsley is when she realizes what’s happening. 

34:14 - This confused me during the first watch - Ainsley obviously didn’t drink any tea - so why is she drugged? (obviously I know now). 

34:17 - Big brother Malcolm frantically looking for Ainsley is so so sweet. <3 

35:42 - The music, the dolls, and Miss Windsor’s speech here. There’s something about this part of the episode that is strangely reminiscent of 5x16 of Criminal Minds.

36:20 - ......does Miss Windsor have some sort of mental illness? She’s talking to herself and ranting erratically. Is this just emotional stress or something deeper?

37:00 - This is why Malcolm’s not a serial killer. Even now- looking at a killer - he’s trying to sympathize with her. He’s trying to understand why. He’s trying to calm her down, diffuse the threat, and get her mental help. 

39:00 - Oh yeah. Ainsley was definitely going to kill without remorse. Again. I’ve seen some theories that Ainsley only ever tries to kill to protect Malcolm. I disagree. I think Ainsley’s trying to protect herself. Ainsley is pissed off that this girl tried to drug her and kill her because she thinks Ainsley is wicked. Ainsley was pissed at Endicott for whatever he did to Ainsley before Malcolm got there. I think Ainsley felt threatened and scared so she reacted. I don’t think this has anything to do with protecting Malcolm.

39:41 - Malcolm isn’t a killer. Look. He smells gas but he takes the time to carry an unconscious murderer (who literally just tried to kill his sister) out of the building. 

40:00 - The drama. Holy hell. What a weird ending to this case.

40:48 - Who gave Ainsley a police jacket and let her keep it?

41:14 - She almost died and she’s still obsessing over ‘winning’. This is seriously unstable behaviour. Way more concerning than anything Malcolm’s done since 2x1. 

41:45 - “My father was a serial killer also.” Anyone else super irritated by that phrasing?!?  Just me?!? Something about the ‘also’ feels super wrong to me.

41:53 - Oh sweetie. I’d argue that you are more messed up than Malcolm. 

42:06 - Jessica went to see Martin twice in one episode. THIS IS BAD.

42:15 - “Maybe even more so than Malcolm if that’s possible.” Jessica knows her kids. I’m on her side here. 

42:20 - Martin is way too happy about Ainsley showing signs of serial killing. 

42:30 - Jessica? You married an act. That man never existed. He’s always been a serial killer. You just didn’t know it. He’s manipulative and you were a victim to it. 

42:50 - “A partner.” OH THIS IS NOT GOING TO END WELL. ESPECIALLY FOR THE GIL/JESSICA ARC.

Okay....so definitely the weakest episode of the season so far. AND the fact that we got no mention of Tally and/or the baby this episode is a crime. 

BUT I’M SO SO SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT EPISODE. It’s going to be a televised fanfic and I can’t wait. 

[lamortexiii]

Cryptic Mystic: What’s Your Sign?

Many of us are fascinated by astrology and all things outer space related. The great unknown that is beyond the stars has been a hot topic for centuries. But, how did the zodiac begin? What makes astrological signs and the alignment of planets and stars so magical? Is it truly prophetic? Does your sign define your personality, past, present, and future? Or is this simply another product of the Barnum Effect?

So I’ll start by asking the obvious: “what’s your sign?” I’m a Leo through and through. While I’m skeptical about the claims of some astrological signs and their relation to my life on a daily basis, I do believe there is some truth here - as is with most things. This topic is one that I have been wanting to write about for some time now. I have always found outer space, stars, planets, etc. to be fascinating. As a child, I remember laying in the grass and watching the stars above me. In my little valley in the forest, I could see so many stars that wouldn’t be visible if I were in the city. I am so thankful I had that childhood experience of growing up somewhere where I could truly connect with nature and the simple things around me that most take for granted on a day-to-day basis. I still stargaze to this day, but I can’t see near as many as I once did in my childhood forest valley home. I’ve seen a plethora of shooting stars throughout my lifetime, two meteor showers, two solar eclipses, and plenty of unidentified objects that were likely satellites… or were they…?

One time when I was driving home from work late one night I saw something that befuddled me. As I drove down the winding 2 lane highway in the darkness of the night I saw what appeared to be a helicopter hovering right above the trees. Now, this area I was driving through was rural. There are few houses in those woods, but there are some. The backroads leading to the site where the “helicopter” was hovering are seldom traveled, especially this late at night. I began processing the event in my mind and questioning if it was a helicopter, why would it be hovering so low and what exactly would it be doing in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. It just didn’t make sense. I thought about logical explanations and could only come up with one. There is the slim possibility that someone driving on one of the many backroads in that area may have got into an accident and was getting airlifted to a hospital. I’ve seen it happen before on backroads near there. Aside from this idea, I had nothing. By this point, I had obviously slowed down so I could get a better look. Hell, there wasn’t any traffic so it’s not like I was worried about causing an accident or anything. As I looked closer I noticed it wasn’t a helicopter at all. There were about 4-6 large bright lights shining down below the area that the craft was hovering over. The circumference of this craft was much wider than a helicopter - more circular. The lights were far too big and far too bright. Whether it was fear, shock, tiredness, or my stomach growling, I continued to drive on and leave the peculiar scene behind. Now, I know this has nothing to do with astrology or zodiac signs, but it is an interesting story nonetheless. 

In reference to zodiac signs, I find that descriptions of a Leo with my particular birthdate are genuinely pretty accurate when describing my personality and conflicts. However, the daily horoscopes are definitely not accurate in my experience. I will say that when I read/listen to them I try to apply something positive from the reading to my daily life. I engage in a deeper thought process and practice mindfulness throughout the day, keeping that positive focus within my mind on the positive message I am supposed to be implementing into my day. I have also found that compatibility readings have been somewhat inaccurate as far as certain zodiac signs getting along or not getting along with other zodiac signs. The biggest obvious red flag for me is how many different sources there are. And guess what? They all say something different on the daily. If zodiac signs and horoscopes are supposed to be accurate, then why don’t all individuals who report them online all say the same thing - or at least something similar?? To play devil's advocate here, I did say earlier that I believe there is some truth to all of this, which is why it interests me so much and also why I believe in this stuff to a degree. There is a lot of magical and wondrous history to unpack in regards to the zodiac and horoscopes. So, let’s jump right in, shall we?

Interesting fact: the word zodiac is derived from Greek terminology meaning “circle of little animals.” We’re a circle of little animals - cute visuals there, eh? Hieroglyphs in Egypt dating as early as the 14th century BC were found to contain a circle of decans (constellations) depicting something that looks a lot like the constellations and zodiac symbols that we know today. In total there were 36 decans found within the temple.

During the first half of the first millennium, Babylonian astronomers created our modern zodiac. They also mapped the previous constellations that were seen in the Egyptian hieroglyphs but continued to add more as they were discovered. In the last half of the 5th century, the Babylonian astronomers divided the many constellations into 12 equal "signs” to represent the 12 months of the year at 30 days per month. Each sign contained 30° of celestial longitude, thus creating the first known celestial coordinate system. According to calculations by modern astrophysics, the zodiac was introduced between 409 and 398 BC and probably within a very few years of 401 BC. Unlike modern astrologers, who place the beginning of the sign of Aries at the place of the Sun at the vernal equinox, Babylonian astronomers fixed the zodiac in relation to stars, placing the beginning of Cancer at the "Rear Twin Star" (β Geminorum) and the beginning of Aquarius at the "Rear Star of the Goat-Fish" (δ Capricorni). Due to the precession of the equinoxes, the time of year the Sun is in a given constellation has changed since Babylonian times, the point of vernal equinox has moved from Aries into Pisces. 

You’ll be pleasantly surprised, intrigued, or disgusted to know that all of this does have some roots within religion. The Hebrew Bible shows knowledge of the Babylonian zodiac. E. W. Bullinger noted that the drawings found in the book of Ezekiel were quite similar to the middle four quarters of the zodiac (Lion/Leo, Bull/Taurus, Man/Aquarius, Eagle/Scorpio). You read that right, Scorpio is noted as being an eagle - not a scorpion. Some say that the twelve tribes of Israel are correlated with the zodiac signs found within the Hebrew 12 month calendar. There is an argument that the position of the Israelic tribes around the Tabernacle from the book of Numbers correlates with the exact order of the zodiac, with Judah, Reuben, Ephraim, and Dan representing the middle signs of Leo, Aquarius, Taurus, and Scorpio, respectively. It is shocking how I have heard religious people in modern times talk about how this is all a bunch of garbage, even though some of this is literally correlated with items from the Bible.

To explain daily horoscopes and the connection between the stars, planets, and our zodiac signs, you must engage in a bit of math (yuck). When planets and constellations of the zodiac would align, the Babylonian astronomers of that time would note the experiences that people had and found similarities. These experiences, along with the position of the Earth, Sun, Moon, and constellations and the positions relative to the zodiac signs were stored within a catalogue. This went on for several years and is essentially what began our modern-day daily horoscope. However, it is my personal opinion that a lot of these “professionals” who have their own magical websites where you can get a free daily horoscope, just make shit up to sound interesting. That is obvious by the previously mentioned differentials found within each page. I encourage you to do a quick Google search and you’ll see what I’m talking about. This ties into the belief that the Barnum Effect is in play here. You’ll remember the Barnum Effect from last month's blog. If you haven’t read the June 2021 blog The Imaginarium of Barnum, I suggest you head there next to get a deeper understanding of what I’m talking about before you continue reading. Much of what is broadcasted in daily horoscopes, zodiac sign descriptions, and even within mediumship and tarot readings is full of extremely vague generalities. Because the information is presented in such a vague and generalized way, it then becomes an instance where anyone could apply any of the information to their life in some way. So as you can see, there is some psychological manipulation at play here. Now, I am not saying this is true for all who present the information. I will say that there are A LOT of shams out there. I have seen far more fake sites/readings/etc. than I have seen legit ones. If I had to give a percentage from my personal experience, I’d say about 85% of what I’ve seen is bullshit. But you choose what you believe at the end of the day. I just ask you to keep an open mind and a wise eye about you when scanning the web for horoscopes, zodiac information, tarot, and mediumship. 

All of this information is interesting to stew on within your mind. I hope that you learned something new. I know I did when I was researching this topic for the blog. The religious ties were the most surprising thing to me. What did you find most interesting? Drop a comment under the blog on Tumblr or under the Instagram post for this month’s blog and let me know. Tonight if you are able, take a look at the stars and see if you can find the constellations. The plethora of shapes within the brightest stars are brilliant to gaze upon. Who knows, maybe you will find your zodiac constellation. Maybe you will depict a new constellation on your own by combining different combinations of stars. Or maybe you’ll see something that you can’t explain…

Cryptic Mystic Blog by PsychVVitch @psychvvitch

www.LaMorteXiii.com