#as someone who was in college i had some crazy ass experiences

[hoejosatoru]

Roster Hopper

Pairings: Fem!Reader x College Au Karasuno players (separately, except for Tsuki & Yamaguchi)

Summary: You make a bet with your best friend and co manager that you can sleep through the entire Karasuno roster, without the team finding out. 

Word Count: 8.4k

Warning: reader having sex with entire team lmfao, maybe reader is slightly manipulative at times? I don’t think so but tagging just incase, oral (fem receiving) in multiple different positions, light spanking, p in v sex in different positions, men whimpering lol, oral (male receiving), fingering, thumb in ass, squirting, spit, sorta voyeurism, threesome (Tsuki and Yams) virginity loss (Yams), semi public sex, brief drinking mention MDNI

A/n: Changed my original idea to just y/n trying to go through the roster bc you plus a friend is a lot and trying to write around the team not finding out would be hard SO here we are. Y/f/n = your friends name. I didn’t want to have to think of a random name. If you don’t have someone you can just slot in Kiyoko or something. I also bolded each players name so if you want to skip to a specific dude, hopefully it is easier to find. Enjoy!

“How long have they been at it?” you asked your friend as you were filling up water bottles for the third time this practice. If you weren’t so used to the sound of volleyballs being smacked around, it would probably have driven you crazy by now. It was your second year as Karasuno University’s volleyball team manager and you loved it. Water bottle fill up runs and all.

“Too long,” your friend replied, “I don’t get where they get the energy from. I’m tired just watching them.”

“Same.” You screwed the last bottle shut. “But the first years are really good. I think we have a shot this year.”

“Oh without a doubt,” y/f/n’s nodded. “And if they keep practicing like this they’ll only get better. They’re pretty cute too, not that is going to help them win games.”

You laughed. “I was waiting for your say something.” Your voice dropped a little, so none of the boys could overhear you. Not that they were really paying attention to either of you at the moment. Volleyball is life and all. “We have a really cute team, don’t you think?”

Your friend nodded and whispered back. “For sure. Who do you think is the cutest?” This is why you were glad you convinced your best friend to manage with you. Nothing passed time like gossiping about boys with a friend.

“Hmm,” you considered, “Kageyama is cute. But you know how I like dark haired guys. Nish too. Never thought I would think a short guy was so hot. Don’t tell him I said that.” You didn’t want to offend him, but you had a sneaking suspicion all he would care about was that you called him hot. Him and Tanaka were a bit girl-crazy. They were the only players that shameless flirted with you and your friend. You liked that about them; it was fun.

“No, for real! I think Asahi has to be the cutest though,” you friend replied. 

You nodded. They were all pretty good looking guys, so you couldn’t argue. “But the real question is, who do you think is the best in bed?”

Your friend took a second to think about it before answering. “Daichi.”

“Really?”

Your friend shrugged. “I mean he’s one of the oldest, so he’s probably got experience. Plus he’s the captain.”

You snorted. “What does being captain of a volleyball have to do with being good in bed?”

Your friend huffed in faux annoyance. “Well it makes sense in my head. Who do you think then?”

“Honestly maybe Nishinoya.”

“I think you just have a crush on him.”

“Shut up. But also Sugawara. It’s the quiet ones you gotta look out for, you know?”

Your friend nodded. “Totally. Maybe we gotta hunt down their past hook ups and do a survey.” You both laughed, drawing the attention of Tanaka.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing!” You both answered in unison, before turning your back to the court to laugh more. As ridiculous as the conversation was, it sparked your curiosity. You couldn’t deny that you'd thought about hooking up with some of the players. You watched them run around and get sweaty for hours everyday, what else were you supposed to think about? You’d never actually done it, though, not wanting to ruin any friendships with the guys. They could be a rowdy bunch, but you did love them dearly. 

That, however, didn’t stop you from hatching a crazy idea. “What if we didn’t need other people to find out.”

Your friend’s eye brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“I will do all the research,” you replied. She gave you a look that told you she still didn’t understand what you meant. “I sleep with all of them and then we’ll know who the best.”

Y/f/n looked at you like you were crazy. Which, to be fair, maybe you were. “You can’t be serious. All of them?”

“Well not at the same time,” you replied, like a smart ass. Your friend rolled her eyes. 

“Obviously. But that’s still crazy! There’s so many of them.”

“There’s not that many. Just nine of them. Give me the whole school year and I could do it,” you responded. 

“No way you can,” she replied. 

“Wanna bet?” You challenged.

“Absolutely,” your friend replied, “500 bucks says you can’t sleep through the team by the end of the school year.” Damn 500? But a big challenges calls for big stakes. 

“You're on.” You shook hands. “Now let’s figure out the rules.”

After a little discussion you both agreed that besides the obvious of having to get through the 9 players by the last day of school, they couldn’t find out about what was going on. If you were to tell them about the challenge, some of the players might do it just to help you. You had to get them in bed organically. Additionally, you couldn’t request certain sex acts. You both wanted to know how they tried to please women without any bias. If you started telling them what to do, it would mess with the data. Because this is super scientific, obviously.

Y/f/n allowed you one get out of jail free card if someone found out, but it had to be contained to the one person. If the whole team finds out, game over. You didn't need to provide any proof, but you did have to share your ranking with y/f/n at the end, which you were more than happy to. Any other issues that came up, you both agreed to figure out as needed. Simple enough.

“I’m not even going to bother asking you who you think will be the easiest,” your friend said. Both your eyes floated over to Nishinoya and Tanaka, making you both snicker. “But who do you think will be the hardest?”

“Daichi for sure,” you replied, “Doesn’t seem like he’s a hook up guy, but we’ll see. And Tsuki, just cause he can be a jerk.”

Your friend snickered. “He seems like the type who wants spank girls and make them call him daddy.”

You grinned. “I guess we will find out.”

A week later you were at party hosted at the team house. It was the perfect venue to make your first move. Only the upperclassmen could live in the house, but during parties the whole team plus many others were invited. Tonight’s party was particularly crowded, being that it was still early in the year and most people didn’t have much work to do yet. The crowd would make it easier for you to sneak away unnoticed, even with other teammates around.

You set your sights on Nishinoya first. You figured he’d be easy to get in bed, plus maybe you did have a little crush on him. You were super keen on finding out how he was in bed. Maybe it was because of the drink you had, but you were feeling bold. You decided to take a super straight forward, simple approach with Noya.

“Noya, do you want to have sex with me?” you asked when you managed to pull him to a private corner of the party. You almost laughed at how his eyes bugged out of his head.

“Are you serious? Tanaka didn’t, but you up to this as a joke, did he?” he asked.

“I promise he didn't,” you replied. “Just think you’re cute. Do you wanna?”

Nishinoya thought this was better than his birthday and winning nationals combined. “Fuck yes I do. When?”

You giggled at his enthusiasm. It was so endearing. “Right now?”

God he really was a lucky guy, he thought. “Fuck.” He chugged the rest of his beer for good measure. “Yeah let’s fucking do it.” You looked around to make sure no one was watching, before slipping up the stairs to his room. Luckily, his bedroom was on the second floor, which no one really came to. The parties stay in the basement or on the main floor, so you felt safe now that you made it up unnoticed.

The second he closed the door to his room, you pounced on him. You couldn’t help yourself. To be fair, it was very much a mutual pounce. Nishinoya kissed you eagerly, bordering on desperate, but in the best way. You pulled away, both of you breathing heavy.

“Before we do this, do you mind if this stay between us?” You asked, batting your eyes innocently at him. He was putty in your hands at this point; you knew he would agree to anything to get in your pants. “I don’t want it to be weird if the other guys found out.”

“Of course, I won’t tell anybody,” he nodded. You were back to kissing him, very desperately now. You were still standing by his door, pulling clothing off each other. Instead of wasting two steps to get to the bed, Noya just spun your around and bent you over the dresser right there. He was not a patient man and you were not complaining. 

He slid your underwear odd, cursing. “Fuck you don’t know how much I’ve wanted to do this,” he cursed. You giggled, glad your crush had been reciprocated. Before you could get any words out, Noya was on his knees behind you, burying his face in your pussy. You gasped in surprised as he licked up your arousal, his tongue sliding through your puffy lips. 

“Fuck Noya!” you cried as he sucked on your clit. His hands massaged your thighs and ass, keeping you spread for him. He hummed and groaned into your cunt as he ate you out, clearly enjoying it very much. Much like when he kissed you, it was eager and desperate and so fucking good. It didn’t take long before you were cumming all over his tongue.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he gushed, wiping your release off his face. He dug a condom out of the top dresser drawn, grinning eagerly at you.

“And you’re so fucking good at that,” you replied.

“I’m even better at this,” he replied, sinking his cock into you. Your body arched, surprised by the stretch. Noya’s thrusts were rough and frantic, clearly chasing after his high. He gripped your ass tightly, giving it a few smacks, but nothing too hard. You pressed your body back against him, loving that he wasn’t afraid to go for it. Your fingers scratched along the wood of his dresser as you tried desperately to hold on.

It was no use, though. Within minutes you were moaning his name and cumming on his cock. Noya, who was overjoyed he didn’t bust the second his slid in, let himself go the second he felt your velvety walls clench around him.

“Fuck, y/n, so fucking good.” 

You gave Nishinoya a long thank you kiss before getting dressed. You agreed to go down first and then he’d come down a few minutes later so it wouldn’t be obvious you were together. You left his room grinning. And just like that, one was crossed off the list.

A week later you decided to try your luck again. Tanaka mentioned he was going to check out a frat party and you asked for a ride there, which he happily agreed to. As far as you knew no one else on the team was going to this party, so it would be the perfect opportunity to cross him off the list.

The party sucked; it was way too crowded and the music choices were awful. Not to mention, the house was a mess. It made the volleyball house look spotless in comparison. It worked in your favor, though, as Tanaka was more than happy to take you up on your suggestion to chill in his car.

“Dude I thought frat parties were supposed to be the best,” he said, closing the car door behind him.

“Did you see the bathroom? That shit had to be a biohazard,” you replied. 

Tanaka laughed and nodded. “So gross. Sorry I dragged you here.”

“No worries, I wanted to,” you replied. You gave him a faux shy look. “I just wanted to hangout with you, honestly.”

Tanaka perked up. “Really?”

“Really.” And since being so honest worked the first time, you figure why not just go for it again. “Would it be weird if I said I was trying to get in your pants.”

Tanaka blinked at you, certain he didn’t hear you right. “You wanna get in my pants?”

You laughed and nodded. “Yeah, is that a bad thing?”

He shook his head. “No that’s a good thing! A great thing.” 

“So...” your eyes flicked down to his lap. “Can I?”

“Right now?”

“Why not?” you replied. “We are in a dark spot. Your windows are tinted. No one will see.” You leaned in a little further, letting him peek down your shirt. “It will be fun, don’t you think?”

Tanaka did not need any convincing. Fucking his hot manager in his car? He may have dreamed about this exact scenario. Literally. Tanaka pushed back his seat as far as it would go and helped you climb on top. The way he kissed you was so similar to Noya you had to bite back a laugh.

You wasted no time pulling your top off, which Tanaka was very happy about. His face was in your tits before you could even get your shirt fully off. He sucked at the sensitive skin, flicking your nipples with his tongue. His hands gripped your tits roughly, but not unpleasantly. You rocked your hips against his,  letting out a hum of pleasure. Tanaka was already hard underneath you.

“I could die happy right now,” he mumbled against your tits, making you laugh.

“At least fuck me first,” you replied, half joking. But also half serious because you were on a mission. 

Tanaka took that as instruction. “Shit, I got you.” He pulled his cock out of his pants then cursed. “I don’t have a condom.” 

“Don’t worry, I brought one.” You fished it out of your purse and handed it over.

“Damn you really were trying to get in my pants huh?”

You smiled. “Maybe.” 

Tanaka rolled the condom on, then pushed your skirt up and underwear to the side. He let his tip run through the slick before slowly pressing into you. He hissed a little, feeling your pussy suck him in. Once he was all the way in, you pressed your hands against his chested and rolled your hips. 

“Fuck, just like that,” Tanaka groaned, watching where his cock disappeared inside you. His hands ran along your hips and ass, helping you rock yourself on him. He leaned in, continuing to suck on your tits. The car windows fogged, the small space filled with the sound of your breathless moans and his cock thrusting into your wet pussy.

Tanaka wasn’t one to make the woman do all the work, so he planted his feet on the car floor bucked his hips up to meet yours. The deep spot he hit made your head fall back. “Tana-nngh-” your words were cut off by a cry of pleasure. You creamed around him, setting him over the edge. He spilled into the condom while groaning into your chest.

“Tanaka, can you do something for me?” you asked once you caught your breath. He was still buried inside you.

“I’d do anything you ask me right now, not gonna lie,” He replied. 

You laughed, even though he wasn’t joking. “Don’t tell anyone we hooked up. I just don’t want the other guys judging me, you know?”

“It’s in the vault,” Tanaka replied seriously. “And if you ever want to do that again, please call me.”

Two down, seven to go.

Your next opportunity didn’t come until about a month later. You were alone with Asahi in the library studying for midterms coming up. “I need a break,” Asahi sighed, pushing his books away from him.

There was your opening. “You took the words right out of my mouth,” You replied. “My roommate is away right now. Wanna go back to my dorm and watch a movie?” You gave him a look that hinted that maybe it wasn’t just a movie on your mind.

Asahi blushed. “I-I don’t want to intrude.”

You waved him off. “You won’t be. C’mon it will be fun.” With that, you both packed up your things and headed to your dorm. You told Asahi he could sit on your bed while you set up the movie. He sat on the edge of your bed, looking a little nervous. It made you laugh that such a large, handsome man was easily flustered. “Relax, Asahi, you can lay down if you want.”

You hopped on the bed, laying down in front of him. You were in the spooning position, but not touching. You rectified that by slowing drifting closer to him. When your ass met his front, you wiggled as innocently as you possible could. You could feel Asahi shift nervously, though he unmistakably pressed closer to you. It wasn’t long before you could feel something hard poking at your ass. 

“I can feel that, Asahi,” you teased.

“I’m so sorry y/n, I didn’t mean-”

“Shhh,” you hushed him, “I don’t mind.” You reached back, taking his hand in yours and leading it down into your leggings. “Maybe this will make you feel better.” You guided his hand to your pussy, letting him feel your wetness. He let out a low groan. You took your hand away, letting him touch you how he pleased.

“Do... do you want me to...” Asahi trailed off as he continued to play with your pussy. 

“I think you know what I want, Asahi,” you purred his name. He cursed into your hair, breathing in the sweet scent. He brushed it aside, kissing your neck a little. You titled your head, allowing him better access. Then you got needy, so you craned your head back, allowing you two to kiss. He a gentle kisser, sweet and passionate. His hand slid up your shirt, giving your breasts a few soft squeezes. “Do you have a condom?”

Asahi’s cheeks tinted but he nodded. “In my wallet, yeah.” He fished his wallet out of his back pocket, pulling the little foil out. You wiggled your ass agains him, urging him on. He slipped his cock out of his pants, rolling the condom on. His tip nudged at your aching hole. “You sure?”

“Please.” Asahi slid into you slowly, letting you adjust. His arm wrapped around your waist, holding you to him while he thrusted into you. You arched your back, getting him deeper.

“Y-you feel good,” he mumbled against your neck. You quickly learned that Asahi was not shy about moaning. Hell, he was practically whining as your swirled your hips. He was so close to your ear, the sound giving you goose bumps. It was fucking hot. When he slid his hand down and started rubbing your clit it was your tone to moan.

“Asahi don’t stop,” you said breathlessly. 

“Fuck I think I’m gonna-” His voice broke off in a low groan as you felt his cock twitch inside you. He didn’t stop fucking you even as he came, which pushed you over the edge. A warm rush filled your body as you finished. You finally turned around, giving him a soft peck. “Sorry about that,” he mumbled, embarrassed. 

“Don’t be silly, I really enjoyed it,” you assure him. “But if it’s okay with you, let’s not tell anyone we did this. You know how the guys are. If they found out...”

Asahi nodded in agreement. He definitely didn’t need his teammates knowing he came quick. “I promise I won’t tell.”

A few days later, you were sitting in practice, reflecting on how your strategy to get through the 6 guys left. It was half way through the first semester and you only had 3 done. You weren’t too concerned yet, but you knew you couldn’t keep letting so much time pass between each guy. You were so deep in thought that you didn’t notice Tsukki come up beside you.

“I know what you’re up to.”

You startled, giving him a confused look. “Huh?” 

“You’ve been hooking up with the guys on the team.” It wasn’t a question.

You tried to keep your voice even, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Tsukki rolled his eyes. “Don’t play stupid. I saw you leave the library with Asahi last week. Then earlier in the semester you were sneaking around parties with Noya and Tanaka.”

You raised a brow. “You stalking me or something?”

“We are in the same friend group at a small university, it’s not that hard to put together. If you have half a brain at least,” Tsukki replied. “I just don’t understand why.”

You let out an annoyed sigh. Your back was to the wall, you had to tell him. “It’s for a bet. To see if I can hook up with the entire team by the end of the year.” It felt stupid saying it out loud, especially with Tsukki’s judgmental eyes watching you.

“So why are you hiding it? I’m sure these idiots would be more than happy to sleep with you for whatever reason,” Tsukki replied.

“I can’t it’s part of the rules,” you explained, “So if you tell anybody I’m totally fucked.”

“I’d say you’re already quite fucked,” Tsukki replied with a shit eating grin.

“Haha,” you replied dryly, rolling your eyes. “But seriously, don’t blow this for me.” He went to open his mouth but you cut him off. “And no blow job jokes.” His mouth shut, but you could see the gears turning.

“So you kinda owe me a favor, don’t you?”

“If you’re going to ask me to sleep with you, don’t bother. It’s already a part of the plan unfortunately,” you replied.

“Ouch,” he yawned. “But that’s not what am I asking. At least not exactly. I want a three way with Yamaguchi.”

You were shocked but also not at the request. You knew they were best friends, but they seemed like they would be completely different in bed. “Have you told Yams about me hooking up with the other guys?”

“No, I figured I’d keep my mouth shut until I had more information,” Tsukki replied. “But I’ve been trying to help Yams lose his virginity. This seems like the perfect opportunity.”

“Wow what a selfless friend you are,” you replied sardonically

Tsukki shrugged. “I can admit I want to try a three way for selfish reasons, too. What guy doesn’t.”

“And you think Yams wants to lose his virginity with you there?”

“Yeah, he’ll be less nervous. I promise I won’t tell him or anyone else about your stupid bet if you do this.” You agreed. Although Tsukki was annoying, you couldn’t deny that a 2 for 1 would help a lot. You just had to text your friend to make sure it was within the rules.

Y/f/n: hmm I think as long as neither of them no what it’s for, one three way can be allowed

Y/n: Tsukki knows. that asshole figured it out. I have to use my get out of jail card on him -_-

y/n: but Yams doesn’t know, Tsukki will make up some other story to tell him

y/f/n: As long as Tsukki doesn’t tell Yams and no one else finds out then I think it’s fine. Good luck with that lmao 

A week later you were in Tsukki and Yams’ shared dorm room. They’d pushed their beds together for the occasion, which was honestly quite funny. Tsukki looked almost bored and Yamaguchi looked nervous. Typical. 

One thing led to another and you were on their combined beds kissing Yamaguchi while Tsukki pulled your bottoms off. For his lack of experience, Yams was a good kisser. Definitely a little nervous, but sweet. You went at his pace, twisting your fingers through his hair making his breath catch.

“Watch this, Yamaguchi. You have to get her nice and wet before putting it in,” Tsukki told his friend. His fingers were rough and warm as he dragged them through your lips. He rubbed circles over your clit, making sure his friend knew that spot was very important. His long fingers easily slid inside you, pressing spots that were hard for you to reach. You let out a little gasp, which made him smirk. “Take over for me Yams, you gotta practice.” 

They swapped places, Tsukki slipping his cock out when he reached you. “Suck me off.”

You narrowed your eyes. “A please would be nice.”

Tsukki gave you a fake smile. “Please suck me off.” You didn't bother arguing, taking his cock in your mouth instead. He was annoyingly big. Maybe the biggest you had yet. Asahi may have been thicker, but Tsukki was definitely longer. You used your hand on his base while your lips and tongue focused on his tip. Meanwhile, Yams was getting the hang of fingering you. He copied Tsukki exactly, his whole face and chest flushed at the sight of your wet pussy sucking in his fingers. Your moan vibrated through Tsuki’s dick as he hit a sweet spot. 

“Fuck,” the blond cursed, pulling out of you. He didn’t want to cum just yet. “Move Yams, let me show you how to fuck her.”

Yamaguchi’s face flushed a deeper shade of red. “Okay.” Tsukki spread your legs  open after slipping a condom on. He pressed inside you slowly and you so badly did not what to gratify him with a moan, but you couldn’t help but let one slip.

“Sh-should I put it in her mouth?” Yams asked. 

Tsukki shook his head. “You won’t last. You need to be hard so you can fuck her.” Yams nodded, watching his friend roll his hips into you. “I’ll make her cum so she’ll be nice and sensitive when it’s your turn.” Tsukki rocked his hips against yours, holding your thighs wide open for him. You hated to admit it, but it did feel really good. His cock, like his fingers, hit spots deep inside you. His thrusts were surprisingly heavy for his thinner frame. A damn near devious smily spread across his face as he felt your pussy clenching around him. He rubbed your clit with quick circles, finishing you off.

“Fuck!” you cried, your head falling back on the pillow. Pleasure pulsed through you as Tsukki fucked you through your high. He pulled himself out of you with a hiss, stopping himself from finishing. He wanted to do that in your mouth. 

“Your turn Yams.” Tsukki yanked his friend down between your legs. Yams cock ached as he look at your fucked out expression. He couldn’t believe he was going to lose his virginity to the hot older manager. He said a silent prayer that he didn’t cum the second he put it in. 

You sensed his nerves and comforted him. “Don’t worry, Yams, you’ll do good. Let me.” You took the condom out of his shaking hands and rolled it onto him. He whimpered a little, sensitive to even your touch. “Whenever you’re ready, yeah?”

He nodded, holding your thighs like Tsukki did and slowly pressed inside you. He slid in easily, thanks to Tsukki. He let out a whine feeling your warm, wet walls squeeze him. He tried not to focus to hard on that as he rolled his hips into you. You were extra sensitive, just as Tsukki said, making each movement feel extra good.

“So good, Yamaguchi.” You had no problem encouraging the younger guy. You always thought he was sweet. “Doing so good.” Yams blushed and kept it going. 

“Now, where were we?” Tsukki asked, an obnoxious ring in his voice. You rolled your eyes at him but took his cock back in your mouth without protested. You took him deeper, urged on by how his composure cracked. Your tongue ran along the vein on the underside, making him curse. Yams continued to rut desperately into you, making you moan onto Tsukki. You emphasized the sound both for Yams’ confidences and to break down Tsukki. 

Tsukki used his free hands to play with your tits. He gave your nipples a hard squeeze, sending a jolt of pleasure through you that made you cum again. Yams cried out your name, summing the second your walls pulsed around him. Tsukki’s hips twitched as your lips tightened, spilling into your mouth. Everyone was a panting mess by the end. 

“Thanks, y/n,” Yams said as you finished getting dressed. “And I won’t tell anybody, I swear.” You exchanged a look with Tsukki, who nodded a silent agreement that he would continue to keep his mouth shut. You couldn’t help but smile as you left; you were over halfway done.

You went the rest of that semester without crossing anyone else off the list. You were okay with that, though, since you were still on track. Your next opportunity came during the last week of the winter break. Practice had started again, but not everyone was back to campus yet meaning they were smaller. And meaning  Hinata was more desperate for someone to stay and throw him extra tosses.

“Sure Hinata, I’ll help you out,” you agreed. Everyone else had cleared out of the gym, glad to not be the one Hinata targeted. You tossed him for awhile, admiring the strength of the small first year. He was the biggest wildcard to you. You weren't sure if he was gonna be really good or really bad.

“Ugh, I need to get stronger,” Hinata grumbled after his last spike. It looked plenty strong to you, but it gave you an idea.

“I've heard increasing testosterone can make you stronger,” you replied, tossing up another ball for him.

“Really? How can I do that?” 

“Having is sex is one way.” Hinata dropped out of the air, the ball you tossed bonking him in the head. You laughed at the surprised look on his face.

“Sex?”

“Have you not heard of it?” you teased.

Hinata grumbled, “I have! I just didn’t know it could help like that.”

You shrugged. “That’s just what I’ve heard at least.” You took a step closer to Hinata, looking him in the eye. “We should give it a try.”

Hinata’s eyes widened. “Wait are you serious? Like right now?”

“Yeah! Let’s do it and see if your spike gets better.” You knew he couldn’t resist the offer, which he did not. Hinata practically pounced on you. Have sex with he pretty manager AND improve his spike? Sounds good to him. You were all over each other as you got down to the floor. Clothes flying off as you went. You weren’t sure why you felt so particularly excited, maybe it was the risk of getting  caught. All you knew is that you suddenly wanted Hinata badly. 

Hinata was just as eager with you, his hands all over you. His kisses were a little sloppy with need, but you loved it. Your tongues mixed slid your hands over his toned torso. Hinata bunched up his t shirt and put it under his head like pillow. He hooked his arms around your thighs and pulled you up his body. “Sit on my face?”

How could you say no to that. The second your pussy made contact with his mouth he was all over it. His tongue pressing into your soaked entrance, then his lips sucking your aching clit. You forgot yourself, rocking your hips against his face, though Hinata didn’t mind one bit. He loved how your plush thighs squeezed his face as you chased your high. 

It didn’t take long for it strike you, swift and strong as lightning. You bit down on your lip as your moaned his name, trying to not alert anyone who may be walking outside what was going on in the gym. Hinata lapped up every bit of release before you slid off him. In an instant he had you flipped over, with him now on top. 

“You taste good,” he grinned, his lips shining with your release. You pulled him in for a sloppy kiss, tasting yourself on him. “I think I have a condom in my gym bag, give me a sec.” And he really meant ‘a sec.’ Hinata was back at one top of you in a flash, rolling a condom onto his hard length. You didn’t get how he was so damn fast.

You both let out content sighs as Hinata pressed into you. Hinata fucked you hard and fast. He just couldn’t hold himself back when he felt your velvety walls wrapped around him. You were not surprised by his energy in the slightest, but you were surprised by his strength.

“Nngh- Hinata! Right there,” you moaned. You wrapped your legs around him, keeping him close to you. With just a few more heavy thrusts, your orgasm was milking his cock. Hinata’s head fell back while he filled the condom with his release. A mixture of a moan and a whine slipped from his parted lips. 

When you were both redressed, Hinata was already asking for a toss to see if worked. You couldn't help but laugh. Only Hinata would be thinking about volleyball after sex. You indulged him, tossing the ball, which he rocketed over the net.

“Holy shit! You were right y/n, that was so much better!’” Hinata beamed.

“I knew you could do it!” you replied, “But can I ask you not to tell anyone we just did that. If the other players found out, they may pester me to help them like that too.” Hinata agreed, happy to have his only little secret weapon for better spikes. 

6 down, 3 left.

A week or so later, Hinata and Kageyama were bickering in practice, as they do. However, Kageyama seemed more annoyed than usual, so you decided to check in with him after practice to make sure everything was okay.

“Oh, yeah Hinata’s just been... particularly annoying,” he replied, seeming oddly nervous. Or maybe uncomfortable.

“Particularly? What do you mean?”

Kageyama shifted. “Well, he's been bragging about hooking up with this girl...” You stiffened, wondering if Hinata spilled the beans.

“What about it?” you asked, trying to keep your voice even.

“I thought he was bull shitting at first because he wouldn’t tell me who it was. But then he started going into a gross amount of detail and I knew he wasn’t lying.” You let out a sigh of relief, which Kageyama misread. “I’m sorry that was probably weird to share.”

You shook your head. “Not at all. Why does it bother you so much, though?”

Kageyama blushed a little. “Well, it’s kinda of embarrassing, but Hinata and I compete about everything. He’s hooked up with 4 girls this year and I’ve only 3.  I guess it’s kinda fucked up to compete over that.” No more fucked up then your own competition, you thought.

“Not at all,” you assured him, “Friends do shit like that all the time. I’m sure those girls would have hooked up with you both either way.” In your case with Hinata, you knew it was true. They were nice, good looking guys, who wouldn't want to? “Why don’t you tell Hinata you hooked up with someone else.”

“Lying would be so lame. If he realized, I’d never live it down,” Kageyama replied.

“Who said you had to lie?”

Kageyama’s brows furrowed then raised when he realized what you mean. “Are you saying...”

“I’m saying, we hook up and then you can tell Hinata you’re back to being tied without lying,” you finished for him. “We don’t have to tell anyone either. Hinata not telling you is the perfect excuse to not tell him. He won’t have to know it was a favor.”

“Seriously? Are you sure y/n? I didn’t tell you to make you feel like you had to,” Kageyama replied. He was trying to be polite but you could tell the wheels were already spinning in his head.

“I’m sure. I’d do it even if it wasn’t for a favor.” Kageyama blushed. 

“Thank you so much.” No, thank you, you thought.

And so a few days later you found yourself in Kageyama’s dorm, sitting on his lap with your back pressed to his front. An interesting request, but you didn’t deny it. And now you were very glad you didn’t

“Fuck Kageya- oh,” your voice was a strangled moan as he played with your pussy. His calloused fingers moved expertly over your most sensitive spots. You felt almost like his opponent. You could tell he was observing you closely, noting every spot that made you tick. The whines that escaped your lips meant he found the perfect pressure to rub your aching clit. Your hips bucking showed him the sweet spot inside you that drove you crazy.

“You like that?” it was more of a statement than a question, really. He knew you loved it. All you could do was nod. Kageyama had both of his arms wrapped around you from behind. His middle two fingers on one hand plunged into your pussy, pressing your g spot. The other hand rolling your clit, driving you crazy. 

If it didn’t feel so good, you’d almost be embarrassed at how fast you came. Kageyama felt it immediately, letting you fuck yourself on his fingers. You ground against him, his erection pressing into your ass. It made you both desperate for more.

“Need you,” you gasped, reaching back to give him a squeeze through his pants. Kageyama groaned deliciously before pulling his sweats down just enough to free himself. He was riding high from just making you cum and couldn’t wait to feel your walls squeezing him. After he rolled the condom on, he angled your hips back so he could slide in. 

“Fuck,” he hissed. Even better than he imagined. You couldn’t help but immediately start rolling your hips. Kageyama sat back a moment, watching you fuck yourself on his cock. He squeezed your hips and ass, keeping your rhythm steady as you rocked your hips. 

He spread your ass a little, a gasp escaping your lips as you feel him spit on you. You did not expect that from Kageyama. His thumb circled the tight rim of your ass before pressing inside.

You cried out something incoherent as the pleasure you felt heightened. Each roll of your hips felt extra intense, now that he occupied both holes. As if that wasn’t enough, Kageyama reached forward to toy with your clit again. Your body surged with pleasure as you squeezed around his cock and thumb. Even as your orgasm hit, the pleasure didn’t subside. If anything it was build and -

“Oh god,” you whine as a gush of release left you. The composure Kageyama had been holding crumbled at the sight. He groaned, burying his face in your neck as he came. Even lost in his own pleasure, he never faltered, letting you ride out your high completely. You didn’t move from his lap when you finished, not trusting your legs to hold you. “Holy shit Kageyama,” was all you could manage.

“Was that good?” This time the question sounded genuine. You almost laughed, as it sounded like how he asked the spikers if they liked his set.

“Very good.”

Two to go.

You debated saying fuck the whole competition and going back to Kageyama for seconds. It wasn’t against the rules, technically, but your competitive spirit kept you from straying from the goal. Besides you really wanted that $500. Still, you hadn’t pursued either Sugawara or Daichi yet, knowing you’d have to be careful with them. They weren't as easily... won over as the others. Little did you know, Sugawara had his sights set on you, 

“Hey, y/n, need any help?” he asked. You were in the team’s storage room, taking account of all the equipment. It was part of your job to make sure everything was in good shape and put in orders for more as needed. Normally, your friend and co-manager helped you with the task, but she was sick, leaving it to you.

“That would be great, if you don’t mind,” you replied. Sugawara joined in organizing and taking stock of everything. The two of you chatted easily as you worked. Sugawara was one of your favorite players on the team. He was incredible kind and you appreciated his sense of humor.

“Hey, y/n, have you ever had like a bucket list? Or something like that?” Sugawara asked. 

“Sure there’s a list of things I’d like to do,” you replied. “Why do you ask?”

“Well... I’ve always thought it would be fun to hook up with someone in the team room. I guess that makes me a stereotypical jock, huh?” 

You laughed. “Oh? So did you only offer to help in hopes of getting laid?”

“No I swear, I didn’t,” he laughed, “But this does look pretty bad now.” 

“It’s all good,” you replied, “I’d be happy to help.” If only he knew how much he was help you.

Suga smiled. “I promise I’ll make it worth it.” He pressed you agains the wall, gently, and kissed you. You welcomed his soft, warm lips. His kiss was sweet and soft, but there was a hunger behind it that made your stomach flip. The next thing you knew, Suga was on his knees.

“Can I?” his warm, brow eyes looking up at you pleadingly. You nodded and he hooked his fingers into your leggings sliding them off you. Suga put one leg over his shoulder, placing a soft kisses on your inner thigh. Once he’d teased you enough, he went for your pussy. He had a gentler approach, almost like making out with your cunt, but it still drove you wild.

“Suga,” you let out a content sigh. Your hands tangled in his hair, pushing him further into you. Suga hummed approvingly, loving the pretty noises you made. Your leg went weak as Suga sucked on your clit, but his grip kept your firmly upright.

“Cum for me, pretty,” Suga murmured. With the flick of his tongue you did just that. Breathless moans fell from your lips as a warm surge of pleasure filled you.  The second you finished you were pulling Suga up to kiss. You tasted yourself on his lips, kissing him deeply. Your hands went to his shorts, pulling at them. Suga chuckled at you. “Lemme.” 

He pulled a condom out of his pocket before slipping his cock out. You hugged him tightly as he pushed into you. Suga rocked into you slowly at first. You kissed his neck, murmuring how good it felt. Suga hooked his hand under your knee, pressing it up so he can get deeper. The angle urged a moan from you that made his cock ache. “Feel good?”

“Yes,” you gasped into his neck. You dug your nails into him as you reached the limits of your sensitivity. He continued as he felt your pussy tightening around him. He was panting and moaning in your ear, a sound you could only describe as pretty.

“That’s it let go for me,” he urged. You couldn't help but comply, your body going slack as your second orgasm washed over you. Sugawara sounded even prettier when he was cumming. His hips stuttered as he released, holding you close. You held each other as you caught your breath.

“This will stay between us, right?” you asked.

Suga smiled. “It will be our little secret.”

Just one left.

It was spring break and the end of the school year was on the horizon. You had a lot of big assignments due at the end of the year, opting to stay on campus to get them done. You found out Daichi was doing the same, leaving him alone at the team house for a week. You knew this was probably your only shot.

You offered to work with him so he wouldn’t be alone at the house, which he happily accepted. You spent the days being each others moral support getting through your tough assignments and insuring the other person took breaks. It did help a lot, Daichi was good at keeping you on task and you were good at helping him not over stress himself. It was the last night of break and you both finally finished your assignments. The relief was palpable, but so was the tension. You got the sense that Daichi was flirting with you at times, but he was hard to read. You were anxious to finally finish your other assignment. You knew if it didn’t happen now, it probably wouldn’t at all. 

“So how should we celebrate?” you asked. You were sitting on this counter, swinging your legs idly. 

Daichi looked at you, catching something suggestive in your voice. “Sounds like you have an idea.” He held your gaze in a way that felt like an invitation.

“Well, I have been thinking about something...” you trailed off, smirking a little.

Daichi stepped closer to you. “Oh? And what is that?” 

You leaned forward slightly, which drew Daichi closer to you. “Might be easier to show you.”

“I hope you do.” He was standing between your leg then. There was only another beat of tense silence before you pulled him in. He gripped your hips, kissing you deeply. You wrapped your arms around his neck, letting Daichi control the kiss. “Wrap your legs around me.” When you did, Daichi lifted you off the counter.

He carried you to the bedroom, placing you gently on the bed. You continued to kiss as clothing came off. Daichi slipped his fingers between your legs, sliding them into your pussy. He pumped them into you, stretching your pussy and making it slick. “You want more?” he asked against your lips. 

You nodded and he pulled a condom out of his bedside table. He put it on positioned himself between your legs. Daichi was really thick, maybe thicker than Asahi. Even with him fingering you, it was a stretch. “Fuck you’re tight,” he groaned as he bottomed out. He kissed and sucked your tits as he snapped his hips against yours. Once you got used to it, the stretch felt good. Your hips bucked up to meet his, pressing him deeper inside you

“S’big,” you whimpered. Daichi pressed on your lower stomach, heightening the sensation of him inside you. His thumb went down to your clit, rubbing circles over it. Your back arched of the bed as a surge of pleasure seized you. Not just pleasure, pleasure and triumph. Your orgasm was heightened with the satisfaction of winning the bet. 

Daichi fucked you through your orgasm until his own took him over. He groaned into your, slowing his thrusts to enjoy every last moment.  He pulled out when you both finished, rolling over on the bed next to you. “Well I am significantly less stressed now.”

You laughed. “Same.” He had not idea how much stress he just took off your plate. “Would it be okay if we didn’t tell anyone, though? The guys on the team are kinda immature. If they found out...” You let him fill in the blanks of his teammates finding out he hooked up with the manager. He absolutely did not want that mess to happen.

“Absolutely. It stays between us.” 

Success.

A few days later you sat with your friend in your dorm filling her in and counting your cash. “I still can’t believe you did it.”

“I know, honestly I’m impressed with myself.”

“Okay but I have to know, how did they do?” You friend has asked you for details along the way, but you insisted on saving it for the end. 

“Let me preface this by saying they were all good, and I would hook up with any of them again,” you stated. You explained that Yams was last, mostly just because of his inexperience. You would, however, not mind being with him again one on one and really rocking his world. 

“You’re gonna scare the poor guy,” your friend commented.

You grinned, “I think he’d like it. Anyways...” In a surprising turn of events, Daichi was next.

“No way.”

“Yeah I mean it wasn’t bad, but he needs to do more foreplay,” you explained.

“Fair enough.” 

Next way Asahi, another surprisingly low 3rd year. You explained that he lost points for cumming quick, but the way he whimpered and moaned was hot so you couldn’t be that mad about it. Next came Tsuki, who you wished could be lower, but alas it was good. 

“And his dick was really big. Like the biggest on the team.”

Your friend laughed. “No wonder he’s so cocky.” 

Tanaka was next. A solid fuck, no complaints.

“He is super into boobs.”

Your friend rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I think anyone who’s ever met him coulda told you that.” 

Next was Suga. “He’s just like... so sweet dude. It was almost kinda romantic.”

“You really need to go on more real dates if you think fucking in the team storage closet is romantic.”

You laughed, “I swear it was! He was best of the third years by far.”

Next was Hinata. “You did WHAT in the gym?” your friend questioned.

“Yeah, I know, I know. Kinda crazy.”

“Very crazy. But please go on.”

“Unsurprisingly, he had tons of energy. But I was surprised by how good he was. I should’ve known better than to underestimate him.”

Next was Nishinoya. “He was so good. And so eager. I just know he’d be super fun in bed the more you get with him.”

“You sure it’s not your crush talking?”

“Shut up. This is all totally objective scientific work.”

“Wait... so does that mean... Kageyama?”

“Yes!” You told her about how he took you by surprise. That he was amazing with his hands and knew exactly how to work you up. And that he made you squirt.

“No fucking way.” 

“Believe me, I was shocked too.” 

You spent the rest of the night gossiping over the experiences and who you wanted to have a round 2 with.

A/n: this was kinda a convoluted idea and I didn’t really know how to end its lmao. But hope you enjoyed tysm for reading<3

[fluffylino]

ghostface ! hyunjin

little did you know you'd end up bumping into someone unexpected at a halloween party

-suggestive? so flirtatious istg

you weren't this type of person. the type of person in college to actively go seeking out parties and big frat parties. infact thats what you'd probably prefer avoiding. classmates and seniors drinking till they pass out or doing god knows what in bathrooms.

it was scary to be amongst so many people yet deep down you really wished you could experience a party like this. atleast for once in your life.

a recently made friend encouraging you to join her and her group of five friends. you weren't exactly on that level of closeness to go out with them but they genuinely were sweet. you felt like you could trust them. however they weren't as much into halloween as you.

you were wild on the inside. god knows what they'd ever say if they ever found out you found ghostface attractive.

not the killing and gore and all. just the idea of a mask like that. hiding someone's appearance completely.

yet all one could see was their physical figure, mannerisms and...their voice.

"you've never watched scream? the 1996 film?" you questioned, voice raising in pitch as they all shook their heads.

"oh is it that ghostface dude you keep mentioning?"

"technically yeah...imagine bumping into somebody wearing that whole outfit...here..in this place"

you said, getting a little anxious as you saw the classmates dressed up as various characters. some a little too gory and drenched in fake blood.

it was a halloween party afterall.

"I really hope he's there..." another friend chimes in. her cheeks visibly turning red. her and her huge ass crush on this guy.

"hm and if he is? what you gonna do with him" you can't help but tease her. nudging her shoulder and wriggling your eyebrows mischieviously. she laughed nervously.

"shhh what are you saying! dirty dirty!" her eyes widening. internally you questioned the innocence of this poor girl. she wasn't the type to think dirty thoughts.

"you think hyunjin will really be here?"

she whispered, looping her arm around yours. both of yall walking past people and into the house. streamers and decorations all over. lights dimmed down and occasionally flashing. the music louder than expected.

"..hwang? hm i don't know" you mumbled, feeling a bit shaky. guilt setting in slowly.

the thing was...you may have had a teeny weeny crush on him as well. however you pushed it aside when you found out she liked him like crazy. she described it as falling in love with him completely. it was a little too extreme but you simply laughed along. knowing all too well that they had never even spoken once in the previous semester.

hyunjin was a senior by a year or three. watching him from afar in the canteen. heart thumping faster than usual when he glanced your way too many times to be casual.

"he's looking at me, isn't he?" she'd always blush and say, trying to avoid him in all the possible ways.

a little delusion because it took only a few instances for you to figure out that he was...looking at you everytime you either walked to buy some coffee or whenever you'd be laughing and cracking jokes.

but you never know? maybe you just thought he knew your existence.

its only when the music gets louder and more people start coming in do things get overwhelming. grabbing a few shots of soju and downing it quicker than ever.

"we're gonna go there okay?" she slurs, waving goodbye and running off somewhere amidst the crowd with the other three. you hum to yourself, smacking your forehead. beginning to feel the alcohol kick in.

just when you think you should leave, your eyes land upon a mask. worn by someone who looks absolutely sculpted.

no flowy robe to match the creepy mask yet the way his arms looked in a tank top the stranger wore was worth drooling over.

looking away quickly when he turns his head towards you.

"god-...f-fuck he's hot..." you mumble breathlessly to yourself. cheeks burning and body on fire.

trying to steal another glance at the stranger. however he had vanished. was he in the crowd or did he go to the kitchen or backyard or-

"looking for me, honey?"

neck spinning to the side to come face to face with the elongated mouth and downward eyes of the spooky mask. a choked out shout leaving you.

"u-uh i-...i m-mean" you don't even know what you're saying at this point.

its the way he's leaning over you. towering above you.

"sooo you got a boyfriend?"

his voice goes straight to your core. its insane how turned on you are. realising he's playing along. reciting lines from the film.

"why? you wanna ask me out on a date?"

dragging your syllables. its the alcohol thats talking now. growing more confident and comfortable with this supposed stranger.

"maybe..."

the mask tilts comically.

leaning down even lower. that is until he sits on the short table opposite to you. carelessly dropping a few leftover candies on the ground. its a mess anyways.

he moves closer. thick thighs on either side of yours. his elbows resting on his knees as he seems to stare back.

expressions hidden under the damn mask. seeing just a sliver of his eyes under the mesh.

"you're pretty...pretty hot to not have one" muffled behind the mask. you can hear him breathe.

eyes trailing down to his arms unconciously.

"you think i'm hot? even though i'm dressed up as joker?" you chuckle. blushing incredibly hard.

because for some reason this stranger felt familiar. his mannerisms and his physique.

"even hotter, baby"

his voice. you've heard it before. you feel like you know this man's voice. no wonder you were enthralled. why couldn't you pinpoint who it belonged to?

"do i know you?" you sit up quickly. mimicking 'ghostface' who sat infront of you.

moving closer till his body heat engulfed you.

"mh do you?"

he tilts his head, humming condescendingly. goosebumps rising on your skin when his hands carefully rest on your knees.

"cause I definitely know you honey"

again.

your heart races.

unconciously leaning into him.

"you do? i see this little game you're playing" you tease. placing your hands on top of his. he lets you.

"m'not playing any games sweetie"

the man laughs lowly. shoulders shaking and neck arching to look down at you. growing more and more interested.

"yeah? then why don't you show me whose under this mask"

gently placing your index under his chin. his hands resting higher on your thighs now.

"oh i couldn't. that would ruin the fun wouldn't it."

allowing you to play around with the edge of the mask. edging him on mercilessly.

"what if i said i wouldn't mind it staying on"

you whisper, eyes meeting his briefly. arousal pooling in your abdomen.

whoever this was. you knew him for sure.

"while we talk? or did you mean during sex? please do tell, doll"

his voice drops an octave lower and you let your instincts kick in. forcing you to your limits with his teasing.

pushing the mask up just enough to kiss him senselessly.

it takes him by surprise, and you find yourself clinging onto him. his hands sliding higher to hold your waist.

quite literally using his strength to pull you right onto his lap. the low table creaks at the weight of two .

(lord have mercy we must stay focused brothers we MUST STAY FOCUSED AAA sorry i had to lolz)

"f-fuck...who are you..." you whisper, nose brushing against his. he huffs out a breath. choosing to kiss you with more fervour.

your fingers slipping under the mask.

shakily pushing it higher until your heart throbs. but that isn't the only thing throbbing when you see his uncovered face.

hyunjin.

"y-you...hyu-njin" going absolutely speechless as it sets in.

you're kissing hwang hyunjin.

the senior you thought you'd never even have the courage to talk to.

the mild taste of peach soju on his tongue. quietly opening your mouth for him to trail his tongue over your bottom lip.

the dark mesh falling over your face when you let go of the mask to fist at his fluffy hair. you could run your fingers through his hair.

his grip on your thighs strong enough to firmly keep you planted directly over where you could feel him.

getting worked up with how affected you were.

the feeling of his hands, his hair, his hot mouth moving passionately...his covered length....

"your friend. tell her you're with me, baby"

hyunjin pants out, nudging his lips to the corner of your mouth. your eyes widen, heart pounding.

"tell her im kissing you"

it felt like you were committing a sin. but you just couldn't bring yourself to care that much.

"tell her...i don't plan on letting you go home anytime soon"

.

.

.

.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha surprise!

its a late halloween present but who cares! ghostface hyunjin has made an appearance acjwugsbsjskskshs~

<3333

[joequiinn]

The Dos & Don'ts of Fake Dating | E.M. x reader | pt. 5

[chap four] | [all chapters here] | [chap six]

summary: You propose a crazy idea to the resident freak of Hawkins, Eddie Munson. But maybe he was even crazier for agreeing to it…

notes & tropes: fem reader, slow burn, faking dating, opposites attract, bratty rich bitch reader, super minor revenge plot, not-quite-enemies-to-lovers

a/n: I'm very excited for this chapter because it's actually one of the scenes that inspired this whole fic! Before I knew what the hell I even wanted to write, I played this idea of a figure skating character over and over again in my head as I built up the story around it. I'm a little behind on writing the next chap, so it may be a slightly longer wait between this and the next one! Hope you all love it!

wc: 4.8k

taglist: @costellation-hunter @daisyridleyss @damon-loves-pie @damp4eddie @delilaaahhh @em0220 @fromasgardandback @kthomps914 @lotrefcp @marrowfrog00 @mewchiili @munsonssweets @no-bueno-writer @rach5ive @sav12321 @sheneedsrocknroll92 @steeldaisies @stormgrl19

Chapter Five

You skated at least four times a week. You’ve done so since you were ten years old, when you decided that you wanted to take figure skating more seriously. Whether or not you had competitions, whether or not you were in the mood for it, you always stuck with your skating routine. With competition season coming up in November, you knew you’d have to start practicing more, putting in longer hours and more days in preparation.

Or maybe not. After all, competing was something that your mom enjoyed, that she encouraged wholeheartedly. Regardless of how much you enjoyed it, it didn’t exactly fit the teenage rebellion thing you had going on right now. Maybe you wouldn’t go to competition this year, maybe you’d skip out on your final season out of pure spite - now that would be cruel. Although a part of you hurt at that idea - because you really did love skating - you reasoned that it was something you had to consider.

Fridays were always very long days for you. While your peers would be set free to roam following the 3pm school bell, you had more obligations for the day. Once you left school, you crammed in as much homework as you could before hitting the ice rink by 4:30 at the latest to get your own practice in. Once that was done, you led a youth skating practice until 7pm, then you tried to squeeze in some more skating time before the hockey team took to the ice at 7:15. After arriving home at 8 o’clock or later, you crammed more homework so you wouldn’t have to deal with it over the weekend, and then by that point you’d be too worn out for anything else, so you generally slept late into the next morning.

This had been your routine for over a year now, ever since your own couch suggested that you needed to get more extracurriculars under your belt for your college applications. She had insisted that your resume would look far more impressive if you showed that you had teaching experience and “leadership potential,” an idea that really appealed to your parents, who were determined for you to get into a good school, maybe even on a figure skating scholarship. So, you ended up taking over the Friday night children’s lessons whether you wanted to or not.

You honestly despised it. You led children age 5 to 7, and they were a constant pain in the ass. You couldn’t raise your voice without one of them crying, you couldn’t leave them to their own devices without someone inevitably ending up hurt. Yet, you stuck with it because you were told to, because the adults around you insisted that you needed to. You couldn’t stand the way your coach would insist that this would help develop your skills, you couldn’t stand how your mother insisted “you’ll look back on this so fondly when you’re older.” These damned kids skating lessons were something else you’d probably drop soon, because you barely tolerated them as is.

While everyone else was at the football game, while Eddie was probably off playing his stupid fantasy game or doing something equally as nerdy, you were here at the ice rink, shouting instructions at children while parents and hockey players watched. Some of the parents had made it clear before that they weren’t fond of your impatient and mean teaching methods, but your coach always seemed to talk them out of pulling their kids from your group. She always argued something about you being the best skating in the county, but you weren’t sure how true that was - sure, you had your fair share of medals, but even with your ego you were pretty sure there were better skaters at your level.

“Come on, slackers, we’ve got five minutes left!” You taunted your group of 11 kids as they skated around the perimeter of the rink as a cool down. You zipped ahead of them, leading the charge as you skated backwards to keep an eye on them.

Many of the older kids had grown used to your abrasive coaching, but you could see that many of the newbies were still frightened of you, your loud voice, and your cold eyes. As a means of excusing your poor teaching style, you always said that skating was a tough sport and they needed to toughen up if they wanted to be any good at it. For how pretty and elegant figure skating could be, you knew from experience that competitive skating could be harsh, so you figured you were helping these kids prepare for it.

Because the Hawkins High hockey team had the rink after your group every Friday, many of them were already sitting on the sidelines, getting their gear ready or watching you work. The cocky part of you enjoyed the attention, but hockey players were stupid, so you rarely gave any of them a chance whenever they tried talking to you. Nonetheless, when you were in a good mood, you enjoyed putting on a bit of a show for them, shooting flirty glances their way or occasionally calling out remarks to them between instructing the kids. Tonight, you were paying them little mind, but that didn’t stop you from looking their way every now and again.

As you led the kids back to the center of the ice to wrap up the lesson, a lot of their parents were also waiting in the bleachers or out in the lobby. While you skated back and forth in front of your little army of children, going over some instructions for their next practice with your coach on Monday, your eyes roamed the bleachers. You gave a wicked grin to the hockey players that watched you, meanwhile you took in the parents with very little regards. It was as you looked over the clusters of parents that you saw a familiar face sitting at the penalty bench, and unintentionally you let your toe pick drag on the ice, which very nearly caused you to trip.

God damn Eddie Munson.

As you glared in his direction, hoping your momentary lack of balance didn’t make you look too stupid, you dismissed the kids before gliding towards the dasher board. Eddie, grinning like an asshole, stood up to meet you as children began to exit the ice. You braced yourself on the rail of the board, eyes narrowed at Eddie who appeared far too amused for your liking.

“What are you doing here?” You ask in lieu of a greeting. Eddie briefly glances over at the kids leaving the ice.

“You’re incredible with children.” He mocked, smiling far too wide for your liking; you narrowed your eyes while wondering just how long he’d been here, “Figured I might find you here.”

“That doesn’t explain why you’re here, though.” You respond coldly, gaze briefly looking in the direction of the hockey team to find a couple of them watching your interaction. 

“You did say we needed to make plans, figure out how this was going to work,” Eddie started, taking in your red cheeks and slightly damp forehead that developed over the course of your skating lessons.

“I also said we’d talk about it next week.” You glowered a little, not worried if any of the hockey players saw it - maybe they’d simply mistake it for a lovers quarrel. Eddie grinned, holding his arms up as if he were a presenter on some dumb show.

“No time like the present, right?” Your unamused face gave him all the answer he needed, and his expression fell a little in annoyance, “And here I hoped I was being a good fake boyfriend by visiting you at the rink.”

“You’re being too good a fake boyfriend,” You jab.

Now that all the kids were off the ice, you slid towards the open gate; Eddie kept pace with you on the other side of the dasher board, meeting you at the gate and offering you his hand in assistance. You looked between his face and his outstretched hand with a glare, but eventually accepted his help, stepping over the barrier and onto the slightly cushy floor on the other side.

“I told you not tonight because I’m busy.” You walk over to the gym bag you left sitting on the nearest bleachers. As you sat beside it, Eddie shrugged with a carelessness that seemed almost false.

“Then I’ll go.” He answered simply as you removed your skates, “Just thought it might not be a bad idea to get to know you a little better. It’s not gonna be easy to fake date someone who you know nothing about.”

You shot him a harsh look while putting skate guards over your blades. You didn’t want to admit that he was right, but he had a good point, especially since you had already discussed it before. You sighed heavily through your nose, your cold eyes locked on Eddie’s.

“Can’t it wait? I’ve had a long day.”

Eddie studied you for a moment, leaning back against the dasher board before looking around the ice rink. You quickly put some worn sneakers on your feet and stood, picking your bag and turning away with the intention to leave. But Eddie’s gentle grip on your wrist stopped you from going anywhere, causing you to look between his hand and his face. As you two held eye contact, you realized that Eddie could be just as stubborn as you when he wanted; damn, was this going to be difficult.

“Let me buy you dinner - I’m sure you’re starving,” Eddie started, and for a fleeting moment you wondered if he thought your attitude was because you were hangry. You chewed your lower lip, eyes staring critically at Eddie for another few moments before you let out a defeated sigh, allowing your shoulders to relax a little. Considering that it had been nearly eight hours since your lunch break, it might now be a bad idea to eat something.

Eddie’s eyes softened at your silent resignation, the corner of his mouth pulling up. He finally released your wrist, nodding his head in the direction of the lobby, “Come on, you pick.”

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

Your pick ended up being a 24-hour diner downtown. Eddie showed clear confusion when you mentioned it, so you explained that - for whatever reason - the diner had become something of a tradition, where students congregated post-Friday night football into the wee hours of the night. You’d joined that crowd a number of times in the past, but had no more interest in it - what you were interested in was having people see you and Eddie out together.

You knew it would still be at least an hour before the football crowd arrived, but that wasn’t such a bad thing - it gave you and Eddie a bit of time to actually become acquainted, to learn more about each other beyond “ice princess” and “the freak.”

You studied Eddie while sipping on a chocolate shake, waiting for your food to arrive. He stared back at you unabashedly, and you figured you could be locked into this staring contest until the end of time given how stubborn you both could be. As if Eddie knew what you were thinking, he smirked, finally caving as he looked away from you.

“Not to sound cliche,” Eddie scratched the back of his neck, almost as if he were nervous, but you assumed that couldn’t be true, “but… tell me about yourself?”

You smiled at how dumb the question was - that was so cliche. It was as good a starting place as any you figured, but that didn’t make it sound any less silly and forced. You leaned back in your seat, still holding tight to your milkshake as if it were a lifeline.

Putting on your best Miss America voice, you replied, “Well, I’m freshly 18 from Hawkins, Indiana. I love long walks on the beach, snuggling up with a good book, and I hope one day we’ll have world peace.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes at you, although you could tell he was fighting back a grin, “You’re making this very challenging considering that it was your idea.”

You shrug, taking a big gulp of the chocolate shake, “I guess I’m just a challenging person.”

“You guess?” Eddie laughed mockingly at that, “You’re the most challenging I’ve met. So, how about you try relaxing a little or else no one’s going to buy that we’re together.”

You made a face at the near-insult, finally putting down your drink. You leaned your elbows on the table, taking in Eddie’s face for a moment, stubbornly resisting the urge to say anything. Again, he had a good point, not that you wanted to tell him that. Eddie appeared to have an idea as he mirrored your pose.

“Okay, we’ll go back and forth, a question for a question; how’s that?” You nodded, “Right. First question: Why me?”

Your brows furrowed a little in thought, pinning down a good answer while trying to recall what you’ve already told him, “Haven’t I already explained that?”

“Kind of.” Eddie rolled his hand in a motion that basically said “but go on.”

You bit the inside of your cheek for a moment while thinking, “Your reputation. People don’t know you, but your reputation is in the absolute gutter. No better person to turn to than the guy who everyone in the school already hates.”

Eddie nodded in acceptance of the answer, “Okay, your turn.”

You grinned a little, a question already on your lips, “Why’d you agree to it?”

It was something you’d speculated briefly throughout the week, as you thought that your trade offer might not have been a compelling enough reason for Eddie to agree to this stupid plan. And now you could finally get the answer you were looking for.

Eddie silently stared at you in consideration, and again it almost felt like he was able to read your thoughts somehow. Finally, he answered, “Curiosity.”

You raised a brow in question, to which he once more scratched the back of his neck - maybe that actually was a nervous habit, so you took note of it.

“We both know this idea is kinda crazy,” Eddie started, mulling over his thoughts before continuing, “But I wanted to see how it plays out. See if we can actually trick people into believing it. And I wanted to see if you were as awful as I thought you were.”

You balked instantly, an amused huff escaping your mouth, “‘Awful?’ Jesus, you keep acting like I’m the devil or something.”

Eddie made a face while shrugging, not disagreeing with you, “You thought the same about me. So, let’s call it square.”

Food was finally brought to your table, and you had to resist the urge to attack the greasy burger set in front of you; you didn’t need Eddie to see you act like a ravenous gremlin over some food, even if it had been over eight hours since you’d eaten anything. But you nonetheless dug in, albeit with far more control than your empty, growling stomach would have liked.

“Your turn.” You say around a bite of food, causing Eddie to smile in amusement and the unladylike action.

“Hmm…” He leaned forward, scrutinizing you as he contemplated his next question. Self consciously, you wiped at the corner of your mouth just to make sure there wasn’t any stray ketchup or grease sitting there, “Why ice skating?”

“Because it’s better than cheerleading.” You smiled at your own joke before giving a slightly better answer, “I always thought it was pretty. Nothing else to it, unfortunately; no deep story and significance to it.”

“Fine.” Eddie responded almost as if he was disappointed by the mundane answer.

“Why Dungeons and Dragons?”

“Your questions can’t keep being off-shoots of mine.” Eddie laughed a little, and despite yourself it caused you to smile smally as well.

“Says who?”

“Says me,” He responded while pointing at himself, “I get to come up with some of the rules now, remember?”

“Whatever.” You rolled your eyes with a degree of fondness, which you immediately found strange, so you tried to wipe the look from your face. Nope, you weren’t fond of Eddie Munson, not at all.

You went back to your food, hoping Eddie didn’t catch the amused look on your face. You spoke around another bite of food, “Do you have siblings?”

“None that I know of.” He replied around his own mouthful of food, “But I wouldn’t exactly be surprised if there were any out there.”

You cocked your head a little at the response; it wasn’t so much shocking or sad, rather it was unexpected and different from your own life. You made a mental note to learn more about Eddie’s family, if not tonight then at a later point.

“What’s your plan after graduation?”

You opened your mouth to answer, but then paused - what was your plan now that you were trying to make your own decisions? You hadn’t even considered it. Did you still want to go to college? Where? Studying what? You suddenly realized that you had no true plan for yourself, only the one outlined by your parents, and that realization made you nervous.

“Honest answer: not a fucking clue.” Eddie looked taken aback by the response, so you continued, “My plan before was getting into a good school on a skating scholarship, and studying something completely irrelevant. My parents expect my skating to carry me through life until some good, rich man sweeps me off my feet.”

“But that’s not your plan anymore?”

“That’s another question.” You give him a teasing grin, causing Eddie to roll his eyes, “First, answer me this: If you weren’t stuck in Hawkins, where would you go?”

Eddie grinned with an unexpected eagerness, “LA. The music scene there is insane, and I’d happily sleep on the streets if it meant I had a shot at making my own music.”

Your eyes softened ever so slightly at the unexpected, genuine response - admittedly, you didn’t peg Eddie as the type to have any real goals. But music? That was interesting to you since you weren’t even aware that he played any instruments. You wondered if he was actually any good at it, or if it was some foolish aspiration.

“Now, what’s your plan?” Eddie repeated, smirking at the look on your face - this was one of the few times you didn’t look like a total bitch, so he appreciated it. In fact, you looked relaxed and, dare he say, content; that was certainly unexpected from you.

When you shrugged, he shook his head, leaning forward again, “No, you come up with a plan right now. Don’t base it off what your parents want or what you think sounds like the right answer. What do you want to do with your life once we’re done with this shit hole?”

You contemplated, a mild concern washing over you as you stared at Eddie - what the hell did you want? And why did you suddenly feel so vulnerable because of the question. You had to rip your gaze away from Eddie’s, hardening your expression as you tried to think up an answer that felt right.

“I… I like art, I love clothes,” You started dumbly, glancing at Eddie through your lashes, expecting him to make a face at the lame answer, “I don’t know shit about them in a technical way, but it might be fun for college. Take painting or sewing classes during the day, skate until my feet hurt at night, maybe… I want to be somewhere big and interesting. New York, LA… fuck, even Florida for all I care, I just want out of Hawkins, out of this town.”

“Then I guess we’ll be those high school sweethearts that run off to LA together after graduation, huh?” Eddie smiled widely, and you allowed an amused look to cross your face.

“Oh, I’m sure.” You returned to your food as you tried to come up with a good question for Eddie. An intriguing one came to you, so you asked before you could second guess it, “How do you expect your fake girlfriend to act?”

Eddie’s brow furrowed; it didn’t appear to be due to him misunderstanding the question, but rather that it was unexpected; he even looked maybe hesitant to answer it. Again, he scratched his neck.

You lean forward a little, looking at him seriously, “Give me a good answer, okay? We’re just gonna keep going in circles otherwise.”

Eddie shrugged, “Maybe I don’t have any expectations.”

“Then come up with some.” You immediately counter, prodding the same way he had about your plans for the future. Eddie stared at you with scrutiny while chewing the inside of his lip, as if he didn’t want to come up with a response to the question. You waited, making a mock sweet face at him while you chowed down on your fries. You were going to demand an answer until he gave you one.

“Well, going off the rules you already established,” He made a bit of a face as if to mock the oh-so-sacred fake dating rules, “Aside from playing nice in front of others, it might be helpful if you were less stubborn; you’re like a damn bull.”

You gave him a joshing smile right back, “Fair. Is that it?”

Eddie quickly shook his finger; now it was just a back-and-forth game of you mocking one another, “Ah, that’s another question.”

“Oh, fuck off.” You rolled your eyes with a short laugh, “That is not another question.”

Eddie gave a fake look of apology, shrugging again, “Unfortunately, it is.”

You threw a french fry at him, which lamely hit his chest then landed in his lap. As he laughed and picked it up, you found yourself smiling fondly again, and you quickly tried to shake off the expression.

At that moment, the bell above the front door chimed, and immediately the diner was filled with rambunctious conversation. Your heart jumped a little, realizing the time, and you briefly glanced in the direction of the door; the group that had entered wasn’t your friends, although you recognized them. You turned your attention back to Eddie, who gave you another grin.

“Showtime.” He stated simply, and then a thought appeared to cross his mind, “You want another expectation? Tell me if anything I do is too much, but otherwise let me do what I do - you don’t need to be in control all the time.”

“Don’t I, though?” You countered haughtily, which was met by a flash of seriousness across Eddie’s eyes.

“No, you don’t. I know what I’m doing, okay?”

You studied him for a moment, not entirely convinced that he did, in fact, know what he was doing. Considering that you’d never seen him even interact with a girl before, you weren’t sure if he knew the first thing about dating or romance. But despite your doubts, you relented, relaxing your shoulders as if to show you were relinquishing some control.

“Fine,” You rolled your eyes nonetheless, forever obstinate as you mocked, “I’ll tell you if I don’t like something, but otherwise I’ll let you do what you do.”

“Was that so hard?” Eddie replied with a condescending smirk. You sneered before relaxing your face, knowing your friends were bound to appear any minute now.

As you stole another glance at the door, you suddenly felt Eddie’s fingers graze the back of your hand, drawing your attention back to him with a confused little knot between your brows. He held your gaze as if to make a point, as if to remind you of the conversation you just had, that he knew what he was doing. His hand simply sat on top of yours, your fingers ever so slightly lacing together - he raised his brows as if to dare you to pull away from him. You had to resist the urge to narrow your eyes at him and snatch your hand away, and in turn Eddie gave you a cocky grin before continuing to eat with his free hand.

Eventually, your friends appeared, although they didn’t notice you at first. They were all so full of energy as they excitedly spoke to each other, descending upon a few tables in the middle of the diner and pushing them together. The staff were used to it, although you knew from experience that they nonetheless hated it; you guys were always disruptive to the other patrons, and you figured that was never going to change.

You tried your best not to stare, but your eyes kept trailing over, kept studying the excited faces of the people you considered friends only a couple of weeks ago. After your eyes had drifted over for the umpteenth time, you felt Eddie lightly squeeze your fingers, causing you to unintentionally sneer at how strange it was to maintain this physical contact with him.

“Stop staring,” He instructed when you looked back at him.

With a quarrelsome look in your eyes, you did as Eddie told you, returning your attention to the half eaten burger on your plate, “Talk to me about something, then.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t care, just talk so I can pretend to be interested.”

Eddie looked mildly put off by that, and you realized that you’d taken your customary mean tone with him. You couldn’t seem to help yourself with your former cohorts nearby, it was as if their energy was rubbing off on you.

“You know what I’m going to talk about,” Eddie taunted with a wide grin.

Your face fell in realization, “Please not Dungeons and Dragons.”

“I’m gonna do it.”

“I wish you wouldn’t.”

“So, there’s this character, Kas, who has really interesting lore--”

You threw another fry at Eddie, and at that same moment, you felt someone come up alongside your table. You both look up to see Amelia there with a critical look on her face; your gaze drifts past her, noticing that a few people from her table were also looking at you and Eddie.

You met Amelia’s eyes again, giving her a wide, false smile, “Small world.”

Her eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms, “Yeah, I’m sure you just completely forgot we always come here after games.”

“Maybe she just wanted to see her dear friends.” Eddie chimed in mockingly, once again surprising you with his willingness to instigate confrontation. You laughed as a dumbfounded look crossed Amelia’s at his remark.

“I don’t know what the hell she sees in you.” Amelia snarked with a glare before turning her gaze back to you, “And I don’t know what the hell is going on with you, but it’s already getting pretty old.”

You shrug with exaggerated nonchalance, “Sometimes a girl just needs a bit of a change every now and then, you know?”

Amelia didn’t look convinced as she rolled her eyes with a dramatic sigh, “Yeah, well, this ‘change’ doesn’t suit you at all.”

Before you could respond with another quip, Amelia spun on her heel and briskly returned to her table. By that point, everyone there was watching and awaiting Amelia’s return, quickly huddling together to whisper conspiratorially once she sat down.

You and Eddie shared an amused glance; he went back to poking at his food as your gaze trailed back to Amelia and company. You happened to lock eyes with Duncan, who stared at you with harsh scrutiny, as if he wasn’t buying this thing between you and Eddie in the slightest. You gave Duncan a mocking while, starting to wave before flipping him off, causing Eddie to snort and choke on his food. You couldn’t help but laugh out loud as he hit his chest a couple of times, trying to clear his throat. The sound of such a genuine laugh escaping you was absolutely foreign to Eddie, but he decided it was a sound he enjoyed, even if it was at his expense; he made a mental note that he had to find ways to make you laugh more that didn’t involve him choking.

“You could’ve killed me.” Eddie croaked before laughing himself, his smile wide.

“You’re fine.” You teased, squeezing his fingers while giving him a false pout of sympathy, “You big baby.”

Eddie rolled his eyes in amusement, digging his wallet out while finally relinquishing the grip he had on your hand, “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

He tossed money onto the table and stood, offering his hand to you again. You quickly snagged one last fry before accepting Eddie’s hand, allowing him to pull you to your feet. He once again laced his fingers with yours as he led you through the crowded diner, and you had to fight back the desire to cringe in confusion at it. The both of you eyed the crowd of Hawkins High’s elite as they watched you back critically.

Once outside the diner, Eddie paused in front of one of the large windows and pulled a ridiculous face at the kids still watching you; he quickly tugged your arm, leading you back towards the van as you laughed again at his antics.

[sidekick-hero]

(steddie | teen | 1.4k | tags: college au, meet-cute thank to a fire alarm | @steddielovemonth prompt Love is giving him your sweater even if it makes you cold by @stevesbipanic | AO3)

Everyone had told Steve that college would be so much fun. Freedom from the crushing expectations of his parents breathing down his neck. Parties every weekend and a huge dating pool to choose from. An open-minded and progressive culture that made exploring his sexuality easy and fun instead of kind of suicidal like it had been in his small-minded hometown in Bumfuck Indiana.

What no one had told him was that telling his father that he didn't want to go to business school, that he wanted to teach, would result in his father refusing to pay Steve's tuition.

They didn't disown him, but his parents made it clear that they thought his time in college was a waste of time. At least as long as he was studying something his parents considered beneath a Harrington. To them, becoming a teacher basically meant becoming someone else's doormat just because he wanted to teach their kids.

So he was on his own financially, which frankly took a lot of the fun out of college. Suddenly, partying and dating had to take a back seat to the fact that paying for rent, food, and tuition meant limiting his college experience.

It meant working before or after class.

It meant working his ass off for his classes so he could graduate as soon as possible.

It meant living in the dorms instead of his own place.

Which is exactly what led to him standing outside in the middle of the night in the freezing cold of October in just his boxers and hoodie because some asshole set off the fire alarm in their building.

Steve shivered as he huddled with his fellow freezing students in the dimly lit courtyard, glancing around to see if anyone had brought extra clothes. The chilly wind cut through him, and he cursed his luck for not grabbing a coat when the fire alarm blared through the dorm. He was glad that he had his hoodie right next to his bed so grabbing it on his way out of bed was almost second nature. His sleep-shirt, even thinner and softer from constant wear, was not much in the face of the chilly October weather in Chicago.

As the students exchanged disgruntled glances and whispered complaints, Steve noticed a figure huddled alone on a bench, looking particularly uncomfortable in the cold. Squinting through the dim light, he recognized the boy who lived two doors down from him — Eddie.

All in all, they had exchanged a handful of words, for while Steve was a morning person, often up before the sun to go running, Eddie was a night person by choice. Their paths most often crossed in the wee hours of the morning, one's day beginning as the other's was ending. If Steve were telling the whole truth, he would have to admit that he had tried to time his morning runs to make it more likely that he would run into Eddie.

The guy was cute, sue him. Dimples, big chocolate brown doe eyes, dark curls often tamed into a messy bun at the back of his head so that his tantalizing collarbones peeked out from under the collar of his too-big shirts. It drove Steve a little crazy, but so far he hadn't done anything about it.

Maybe this was his chance to fix that.

Despite the biting cold, Eddie offered a shy smile as Steve approached. "Hey, Steve, right? I'd say it was good to see you, but to be honest, I like it better when I run into you in the hallway."

"Yeah, that's me," Steve replied with a small chuckle, trying to shake off the cold. "Mind if I sit here? It's freezing."

"Go ahead," Eddie said, making room on the bench.

Steve sat down and soon they were huddled together for warmth. It was surprisingly nice, even if he still wished he was somewhere warmer. In the midst of the chilly chaos that had become this random Wednesday night, Steve couldn't help but feel a strange connection forming between him and Eddie as they both sat on that lone bench watching a fire truck arrive. There was a sense of camaraderie that hadn't been present in their earlier nods and small talk in the hallway because of the shared discomfort of their current situation.

Maybe this whole ordeal could turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

They started talking, finding common ground in the shared annoyance of the fire alarm and the absurdity of being forced out into the cold in the middle of the night. As they chatted, Steve couldn't help but notice how easy it was to talk to Eddie.

"You look even colder than I do," Steve remarked after a while, having noticed that Eddie's wiry frame was shaking more and more.

"I didn't have time to grab anything. I was just about to crash when the alarm went off," Eddie explained, rubbing his hands together for warmth.

Without a second thought, Steve unzipped his hoodie and draped it over Eddie’s shoulders. "Here, it's not much, but it's better than nothing."

Eddie's eyes widened in surprise and a warmth flooded Steve's chest as he watched the boy pull the hoodie tighter around him. "Thanks, Steve. I really appreciate it. But now you don't have anything. That shirt looks good on you, but not really warm."

It's true, Steve can already feel the goosebumps on his skin, but he's not ashamed to use that as an excuse to huddle even closer to Eddie. "It's okay, really. I’m running a little hot anyway. Besides, you could help keep me warm?" He added slyly, giving Eddie a long look from under his lashes and enjoying the adorable blush that rose to his cheeks.

"It would be my pleasure, my knight in shining armor. Or rather, my knight in a Queen shirt." With that, Eddie opened the hoodie and gestured for Steve to lean in. Having hoped for such a reaction, Steve scooted even closer, wrapped his arms around Eddie's middle and let him drape the hoodie around them both.

As they sat there, sharing the hoodie and enduring the cold together, Steve found himself drawn to Eddie in a way he hadn't expected. While he'd found Eddie cute from the start, it was only now that he felt this almost magnetic pull toward the other boy, and their laughter amidst the chaos of the fire alarm only strengthened that feeling. Half an hour ago Steve had been ready to call this the worst night of his college experience and now he felt warm and safe, something settling inside him that he hadn't even realized was out of place.

Steve was in the middle of telling Eddie a story about the gaggle of kids he was babysitting at home and how they were coming to visit him soon. Just as he was telling him about his hunt for one of those weird dice sets with too many sides for the nerd game the kids were playing, they were surprised by the sudden sound of silence that filled the air.

The absence of the blaring fire alarm signaled the all-clear to return to their rooms.

As the crowd in front of them began to disperse, Eddie reluctantly started to remove the hoodie from around them, clearly wanting to give it back. Steve stopped him, though, enjoying the sight of Eddie in his hoodie far too much.

He realized he didn't want Eddie to give the hoodie back. He didn't want this night to end here and go back to his room, to his bed, alone.

"You know, I've got a coffee maker in my room. Want to warm up with a cup?" He suggested suddenly, trying to make his voice and eyes as inviting as possible as he looked hopefully at Eddie.

Eddie hesitated for a moment, his eyes searching Steve's cautiously. But something in Steve's eyes must have told him what he was looking for, making him throw caution to the wind. "Sure, why not?"

Smiling broadly, Steve grabbed Eddie's hand and started walking toward their building. He had the feeling that he should be reeling more from the whiplash he had gotten that night, but all he could feel was the joy of anticipation.

They walked back inside, leaving the cold behind, and as Steve sipped a cup of warm coffee, he realized that sometimes unexpected circumstances can lead to the most beautiful connections. Little did he know that the accidental fire alarm would be the spark that ignited a flame of love in his heart that would burn hot and bright for decades to come.

It didn't even dim when, on their wedding day, Eddie confessed during their vows that he was the one who set off the fire alarm by falling asleep with a pizza in the oven.

[i4oba]

mark as… 💭 / your college friend !? ⊹◞✿

your first ever lecture being anthropology, out of all options, was pretty much chaotic and a really humbling experience

you kind of felt lost?? with the lecturer throwing in some of his own antics, with a little too much of little pop culture doses

i mean, he was trying??? talking about batman all of a sudden, comparing a pretty much real theory to his logo or something

(not that you didn’t mention that during that really crazy one on one oral exam… BUT STILL?)

now that’s how you got to know mark lee

i mean, not during the exam, waaaay before that – the first lecture, being just as confused as you, he was.. probably trying to look for someone who was taking notes (preferably good ones at that)

and that’s when your eyes met his!

i guess the panic was so evident in the look you gave him, he just.. couldn’t help but laugh loud asf at your CONFUSED face

i mean, if it was the other way round, you would’ve laughed as well, what can i say..

but still, you had to whisper shout at him (which was weird in the middle of the lecture, being literal meter away from each other) ?? telling him to stop the shenanigans or else you’ll throw hANDS!!!????

(you ended up not doing that – you decided his face was too cute… yeah… pathetic…)

anyways… he literally waited !!!!!!! for you not so far from the lecture hall after it was finished and.. he kind of just??? approached you when he saw you exiting, face representing the Thousands of questions you were left behind

i mean, he felt the same kinda–

but anyways, it was quite.. awkward when you two first interacted. he didn’t really know what to say, you couldn’t really respond to him since all he could muster out was

well.. it sounded stupid

(because he was nervoussssss–i mean, who wouldn’t be when they are trying to hit on a pretty girl like you.. DUH?)

he ended up asking for your notes though.. but it was strategic, you know???

you gotta slide into his dms that way!!!!!! so he can try again!!!!!! (a little bit harder maybe idk)

i mean, you agreed but had a suspicious look while nodding, still trying to figure out his intentions

it really wasn’t clear honestly, he seemed so weird at first, and then he was friendly, offering help around the campus, and then suddenly he wanted to chat???

YOU HAD EYES OF COURSE. even at the omnious, freaking awful freshmen camp you couldn’t spot anyone that looked even half as good as him

but still…

he had that kinda “pretty boy next door” type of vibe which you honestly adored–probably that’s why you agreed on going to that party as well, he invited you to

it was silly of you, of course, and you couldn’t not notice the confused looks of your dormmate

you two knew each other for like.. 2 days and she was suddenly acting like your mother

“ughhh… that dude, you know, that johnny fella has that kind of reputation on campus…”

WHO THE FUCK IS JOHNNY!!!!!!!??????

“he’s a compsci major” she said, shrugging

“that’s literally where the fuckboys are at”

you were like What.. are yoU EVEN SAYING LMFAO

(every compsci major dude i’ve ever seen was a loser though… ?)

where she got that information???OUT OF HER ASS????

later on, like two days had to pass at most???? maybe just one and a half??? and she got invited as well–some chenle dude and her went to the same seminar and things just happened

not her opinion changing.. lol

but it was set now that you two are going together! mostly because she knew you don’t have any friends so.. she might as well help you out–that’s the least she can do after you two changed beds

she kind of made you out to be a loser that way.. like WHAT! YOU HAVE Friends… just

having a major on a different campus.. BUT STILL THE SAME SCHOOL!!!

she was always giving you that weirded tf out look whenever you mentioned it. like okay girl, go off, say whateva lol

but she felt the need to accompany you (GOD BLESS HER TBH)

looking all hot and stuff, you two both paid a visit to the house party which was… honestly pretty boring looking at first

like yeah, just a couple of dudes, not hype enough music either

you expected some kind of shitty techno untz untz music like in those german clubs

those are HYPE. or the eastern european clubs’ music.. elite tier i swear

but you got none of that, only a silly and honestly pretty mid ?? spotify playlist

it’s like giving the aux to someone who only listens to tiktok music like BFFR

right before you were about to leave this horrible gathering, you spotted mark, having a really heated conversation with a Damn Tall boy, snapback on both of their heads

they kind of looked like a couple lmfao OR TWINS

you were hesitant whether you should go and greet him but there was no actual reason that could pull you back

since your roommate literally found someone from her sociology 101 lecture and literally vanished from the surface of earth

Leaving you alone, with a horrible mix of vodka and some other shit you would’ve spit out if only there weren’t too many people

so yeah, there wasn’t any other choice you could’ve made, outside of leaving way too early

that’s how you ended up in the conversation with mark (and, later on you found out, johnny, who wasn’t actually that big of a douchebag your roommate had explained)

it was nice honestly, you got a chance to expose some Drama from high school, you got to talk about your arch nemesis (who attends the same college as you) and some other, unimportant stuff

but they were soooo interested it made you feel??Idk special or something

it really isn’t that frequent that you can shittalk and someone wouldn’t shut you up

and that is why you got back to mark every time–he listened. not only the funny bits of your life, he listened to everything you had to say: your life, school and problems with coursework (he even offered to help), and yeah..

lovelife as well.

you got together with someone from the same major as you–jaehyun.

he was funny, and charming, absolutely adorable and such a great lover??? And then… and then yeah

shit happened, like it always does and you were officialy Heartbroken

you couldn’t really handle it, even though it wasn’t your first time

(in high school, you dated one of the jocks and then got surprised he cheated on you like Dude those are infamous player lmfao…)

so the first person you went to was

your roommate! But she was busy as hell with assignments and exams so she kind of.. I mean she tried to help, but half of her attention was on you, and the other half glued to the monitor of her computer, reading stuff for her research paper

so you went to the second choice of yours–mark lee. but you didn’t mention that fact to him.. it would’ve hurted his heart deeply

you two went to the movies after you raged a little, cried a little into his shoulder and begged him to punch jaehyun in the face

he figured you should focus on something fun, instead of the self deprecating shit you’ve been on lately

and he was Absolutely Fully (ahah!) Truly right

you bought a ticket to the first movie you two saw, not even paying attention what it actually was

(it was a damn horror movie which was So Fucking scary you BOTH were left trembling from fear… pus-)

he used this fact for his own good… he invited you over… to his dorm… since his roommate went home for the weekend…

and the funniest thing is that you agreed, hurriedly messaging your friend, telling her not to wait for you, then ignoring ALL of her furiously typed down responses and calls even

she needed to focus ANYWAYS

so that’s how you ended up in mark’s dorm room… Yeah, yeah yeah

some might say it’s pathetic, some might say you’re dumb as Hell but what could you doooooo

he was looking at you with that extra adorable puppy look on his face… how could you resist

there was no way you could say no, it would’ve been heartless ????????

and you know what would’ve been even MORE heartless?????? Not giving a kiss on his beautiful lips that were literally SCREAMING for yours

It may or may not have been a bad choice but you couldn’t care less… suddenly you felt at ease, kissing him vigorously over and over again

soft hair between your fingers, his breath on your lips and sparkling eyes looking at you

maybe… maybe he was more?? Than a friend

(your roommate was about to slap you right then and there when you told her about the story though…)

[centrally-unplanned]

I love deconstructing 'lifestyle' articles like these, they are such a gold mine of biases and narrative formation by the chattering classes. Here we have a wonderful premise:

Now, Ms. Margo is living a dream of many American women who are seeking relationships abroad, some of whom cite the toxic dating scene in the United States

Well, no objection from me that the US has toxic dating norms. But, hm, idk, 'many women' - is this a true trend amoung the American Female? Lets see who this article features:

Ms. Margo fell in love with the city (and its men). She found a gig teaching English in Paris and moved there after she graduated from Sarah Lawrence College in May 2019.

Okay, not *that* crazy but I do think I know what kind of Sarah Lawrence grad gap years in Paris before her law degree;

For Cindy Sheahan...At the end of 2017, she quit her job and traveled throughout Southeast Asia for leisure, and she started using Tinder.

That isn't...most people can't list as their full time job "Dating in Thailand";

For Frantzces Lys...she started a podcast called “Chronicles Abroad” with her co-host, who had met Ms. Williams, 40, in Malaysia. In 2018, Ms. Lys interviewed Ms. Williams, the founder of a consultancy, and the two kept in touch. They started dating years later.

Oh yeah the extremely relatable situation of a podcast host and boutique consultancy founder travelling to Mayalsia!!

“When you decide to just live your life for yourself, you actually end up stumbling upon people that match your energy and the same ideals and values,” said Ms. Lys, a 42-year-old founder of a wellness company.

Oh a wellness company, who hasn't founded one of those!!! And a link to their company, wow thanks NYT, that was definitely gonna be my follow-up for Ms. Lys:

Cepee Tabibian, who moved to Madrid at 35 from Austin, Texas, felt similarly.

Okay that could be normal, what do she d-

In 2020, she met her partner, who is Spanish. Now, she is the founder of She Hit Refresh, a community that helps women over the age of 30 move to a different country.

Jesus fucking Christ none of these people are real. They are full-hog in the industry of packaging and selling their Life of Insight & Discovery for $500 an hour over zoom sessions to non profits hosting leadership seminars, their dating isn't dating its brand management. I don't doubt they authentically love their life but this, shockingly, is not a trend, is not a sample, is not ethnographic data, this is an ad buy by a sliver of globe-trotting wealthy woman masquerading as journalism.

Absolutely the only relatable person is:

Alexis Brown, for example, noticed a lack of “effort and intention” from the men she was dating in Atlanta, where she attended Spelman College.

When she traveled across Europe for vacation from October 2022 to January 2023, however, the people she dated made it clear that they wanted to spend time with her.

Who takes way more words than is necessary to tell me she had a polycule stretching from Paris to Prague during her study abroad, which, good for her, that is what study abroad is for. Shockingly, this is not a new development in the collegiate experience!

Buried amoung the branded bullshit is Alexis's real gem and the only true 'thesis' of the article:

“The dating culture in the U.S. is that it’s cool and normalized to be indifferent to someone and not really express how you genuinely feel,” Ms. Brown, 23, said.

Which is essentially that in Europe people will "express emotion" unlike the cold, busy America. I don't doubt this, but I would hope a writer at the NYT's could have slightly more social awareness; the 'reason' Americans do not "express emotion" is that if they did you would dump them right on their ass on the first date.

Someone telling you, to quote Ms Margo:

“This one guy was like, ‘I ran through traffic just to look into your eyes once, and if you don’t want to go on a date with me, I can die happy knowing that I just met you,’” said Ms. Margo, a 28-year-old English teacher from Los Angeles.

As an opening line is cringe and uncomfortable, because they do not know you. They are lying and you know they are lying, it is a horrible foundation for a long term relationship. American dating norms have been hammering this lesson home on every participant (but if we are being honest, its primarily women hammering this home on men) and it is probably right to do. Anyone who does this lacks credibility.

But when you are in ~*Paris*~, you don't care about their credibility, because you lack it yourself. You are on vacation, you have no future, just a sequential present. If the guy who tells you your eyes are his world turns out to be a clingy failson who requires at least a blowjob a day to keep his mood stable, you can just *get up and leave the country*, you cannot be trapped because nothing is keeping you there. By placing an ocean between yourself and your social standing you can radically change your standards.

And you know what, there is something to that! Maybe the 18-point-checklist you mentally process every Tinder swipe through as you plan out your dream wedding on Cape Cod to a status-swollen ghost in a Tom Ford speckle-gray blazer while on lunch break from your quant analysis job at a digital marketing start-up in Chelsea isn't the best baggage to bring into a first date! Through radically shifting your social context it might be possible to jar your brain out of what is holding it back. Its not what you found in Paris, but what you left behind in America, that could actually make a difference... and that reality could give this article some heft.

But then say that instead of trying to sell me on the idea that:

For Ms. Margo, a Black woman who attended predominantly white institutions throughout her school years, she felt ignored in the United States, as if she “was not an option,” she said. In Paris she felt seen.

France is less racist than the campus of Sarah Fucking Lawrence against black people. No wonder the humanities are dying if they are teaching this level of self awareness.

[wystericwoes]

This is kinda a shit post but here we go.

Cursing, sukunas mentions the word assault but no details. Talk of sex but no sex

Are the jjk characters virgins or not?

Students:

Yuuji-

Absolutely. Have you seen him?

Megumi-

Yes. Fight me it’s realistic. Ain’t no way he’s done it with anyone yet, maybe once in kindergarten he held hands with a girl and he counts that as relationship experience

Nobara-

Honestly, I wanna say yes, but I feel like she had some middle school boyfriend that she did it with.

Maki

Pre shibuya arc, yes. After that, idk who but shes pegging someone. I also wanna say she’s a lesbian but Ik her and Yuta gonna be porking in the future if they haven’t already. (He’s the one who gets fucked btw)

Inumaki

Had to think about this one. But yes. He’s kissed people, but he’s def a virgin

Panda…

That’s a bear

Yuta

No 😭 idk if it was with Rita or something but he’s not as innocent as he looks.

Hakashi

Absolutely not. This man is piping down Kirara every night and has had girlfriends before her.

Kirara

You seen her? No. Too fine

Mai

No, probably was to some random boyfriend she had.

Mechamaru/kokichi

Yes. He’s been in a bathtub in bandages his whole mf life 😭

Miwa

Kissed a boy in first grade and thinks that counts but yes

Momo

No, has had a couple boyfriends

Todo

Say what you want but this man is a virgin. And he’s proud. (Saving himself for that idol)

Kamo

100%. A girl asked him out once and that was it.

Teachers/faculty:

Principal Yaga

No, he’s had a long term partner or two, talked about his puppets afterwards.

Gojo

Do I even gotta say it 😭 his body count isn’t in the thousands like everyone jokes, but only because his standards are crazy fucking high.

Shoko

No, has had boyfriends in her life. Now she just does hookups

Utahime

No, one douchey boyfriend she had in college and maybe one or two later.

Kiyotaka

I seriously doubt it. But he seems so damn stressed all the time he doesn’t get much action.

The adults/sorcerers:

Nanami

No, Tried saving himself for marriage but hooked up with some girl in college/early adult life and has had maybe one or two partners that didn’t last because of his work.

Geto

He’s not but his body count is low. They gotta be a jujutsu sorcerer so he’s just narrowed down his options to like 7 people in the whole fuckin country 💀 when he was younger in highschool maybe he slept with some people either via relationships or otherwise. Canonically was a ladies man and is attractive so he’s got options. (Too bad he’s crazy)! And ofc if you’re a gojogeto shipper than there’s that.

Sukuna

No He’s only ever assaulted people sorry 😭 never has had a real “relationship” (unless of course were talking my series on him) maybe one night stands and that one chick that liked him. Idk he was doing some weird fuckery back then.

Naoya

He paid for sex. Constantly wondering why no girls like him and the clan hasn’t assigned him someone yet (or however that shit works) and so he just straight up got a prostitute, it’s a secret he’ll take to the grave. Poor sex worker his dick and ass is probably dirty because washing is “gay”.

Hajime

No, lived a long ass time and definitely did it.

Hiromi

Not a huge priority for him but no

Mei Mei

No and it was to someone other than her brother thank god

Yuki

She is too fine and boisterous not to be. She’s definitely had her pipe work rearranged if yk what I mean. Plus all that traveling gives her options

Ino

No. Def has had a few relationships. He’s the type of guy who scored when he was 13 to someone a little older and thinks he’s a baller when he’s just a victim 😭

Toji

Literally has fucking children. And canonically was a player before he met his wife. Man is ran through

All the curses are virgins because they’re either ugly or choso who hasn’t been alive long enough to know what sex is 💀

[youremyheaven]

Behen ab aapko apna manifestation routine spill karna padega kyunki

You 🧲 Venus men

Meanwhile me:

Me 🧲 underage boys (no I'm not a pedo. This just happens on its own I swear 🥲)

LMAOOOO 😭😭😭😭

fr it's crazy bc a Bharani stellium guy from college who I haven't spoken to in YEARS started messaging me recently 😭😭 I am fr a Venus man magnet

I also think I'm a very powerful manifestor ngl and i think I've been unconsciously doing it ever since I was a kid or something but here's my routine/tips:

1. Self concept

I'm sure y'all have heard of this already and there are a million people talking about this but this is kind of the beginning and end of manifestation

What is manifestation? It's creating your reality

How do you create your reality? With your mind, duh 🙄😜

I have always believed that I'm a 10/10 baddie, a complete and total catch, any man would die/kill to have me and I'm the bestest gf anyone could ever wish for and this has been my mindset since forever and guess what? 😌🤪That's exactly how I'm treated and the kind of experiences I have 🤪🤪 (sometimes to a crazy extent, one guy actually tried to kill himself when I rejected him 😳😳 so pls be very careful with this 😔)

I've always believed that I'll be adored, helped, taken care of and provided for no matter where I am. When someone tries to tell me about how hard things can be or how slim the odds are, I have to laugh like GIRLLLL ur making things hard for yourself and I'm not and will never be you 💅 I'm ME and things are ALWAYS easy for ME. that's just my mentality and attitude and NO ONE can tell me otherwise. i have had many crusty ass people tell me I'm delusional and guess what they're rotting rn and I'm not 😌💅

I've heard some people speak about life/love/career/finance etc in the most negative pessimistic way and they wonder why they have no friends, no boo, no money nothing GIRL UR THE PROBLEM 🤧🤧

why is my dating life so different from many women? why do I get princess treatment? it's because I BELIEVE this is what I deserve.

that means, rejecting anything BENEATH this. there will always be creeps, low effort men and assholes, it's up to you whether or not you want to put up with that. it's not that low value men never approach me, it's that I pay NO MIND to anybody who isn't worth my time 💅

others can sense your energy. it affects the way you carry yourself. you think you're being nice when you act low maintenance but you're actually repelling men bc they want to be with someone who is hard to get and hard to keep, bc they like the challenge. I was known throughout my college years for being the girl no one could have 💅 bc no crusty man could ever touch even the tip of my pinky nail and that exclusivity means that you have to be special enough for me to pick you and that makes the men compete 💅for you

BUT HERE'S THE IMPORTANT PART:

by having this mentality you can attract many men for sure but there's no guarantee that they'll like you as a person once they get to know you

I have this self concept of everybody bending over backwards for me and dying to be with me but I am (and this is another personal belief) a very warm, kind, sweet person so I'd never take advantage of anyone's generosity or toy with people's feelings.

WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?

because karma is real

You can manifest winning the lottery but you could get into a car accident two days later and never live a life of wealth

This is to say that life does not end with manifesting something. Our character, our virtue, how we treat others and our intentions ALL MATTER. You can manifest something amazing and then have a horrible time experiencing it. So it's always important to keep a clear heart 💛 if you want to enjoy the fruits of your labour/manifestation

I'll give you my grandpa for example

After my grandma died, he went and got married in less than a year and it really hurt my dad's feelings (my dad was like 25 when it happened tho) and my grandpa said that he really wanted company in his old age and it's hard to find a widow around his age from the same community so he jumped at the first one he found and thought it was fate lmao aka Dadu (paternal grandpa in Hindi) thought he manifested that baddie but GUESS WHAT, she dumped his ass a few years in and he was all alone in his old age with no one except my dad to take care of him.

So you can manifest marrying a baddie but how that marriage works out will all be dependent on your karma 🫶

2. Embodying your beliefs

Look at your lifestyle. You want people to give you princess treatment but do you live like a princess?

Maybe the thing standing in your way is money but let's start there then. Manifest money. India has 1 billion people , if you can get 10 people to pay you for a service you can still make 10k + every month for pocket money

Do what you gotta do to live the life you deserve and don't make excuses

You want princess treatment but you act like a broke scarcity minded kanjoosi girl ??? Not gonna work 😔

3. Have faith

This will help you detach and not obsess over outcomes or be desperate

Are queens ever desperate?? No 💅 neither should you be

Have blind faith (easy for me bc im delusional) , it gives you a sense of entitlement maybe but a healthy entitlement 😌🫶bc you know you got God on your side ✨

4. Persist

Don't change your mind , keep believing even if you don't see results yet.

It's like placing an order. It might be delayed but it WILL come

Happy manifesting ✨🫶💛

Hope you attract everything you've ever wanted

[redlegumes]

Forgot my fic 'If it's just till St. Patrick's Day' starts and ends on Halloween(s)!!!

So here's the first, somewhat stand-alone, chapter to kick off your cuffing season (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥

AO3 Link

CW: Smut, Closeted trans character, Light Mentions of - Alcohol use, Tobacco use, Homophobia

"Here comes the cold, Break out the winter clothes, And find a love to call your own"

Costumes. Let's blame the costumes.

It was Halloween night, sometime past one am, and Steve Harrington was lowering onto his knees on a stranger's bath mat. He was salivating at the thought of what he was about to pull out from underneath a pair of black panties. He was relishing the aroused and shocked expressions on Eddie Munson's face.

BE WARNED 18+ after the cut

Robin was attending the University of Notre Dame. Her folks were Irish Catholic, so she had an admissions edge. She just happened to 'lose' the faith sometime around orientation. She was in the marching band there and had learned that just because it was Catholic and private that didn't mean students were uptight. A lot of repression and high stakes academia during the week led to a lot of unleashed crazy at the parties when students let loose on the weekends. At least that's what Robin had said when she was luring her friends to visit for Halloween.

There was a shadow cast performance of 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' in the evening and a party a lot of her new college acquaintances were going to, but Robin wanted some support. She wasn't loving that some 'friends' wanted her to be their experiment. There were folks who were definitely 'out' and on-campus LGBTQIA+ organizations, but she hadn't known those people all that long. She certainly hadn't fought creatures from a hellacious alternate dimension with them, and weren't the best friendships built on that bond?

This was that argument that led Steve and Eddie to agree to visit her for Halloween. The group chat between the three of them for the month of October had been mostly teasing potential costumes and memes. Steve was going up the day before, crashing in Robin's dorm, and would be with her the whole day. Eddie had said he could show for the party.

He had all but dared Steve (well actually, if he thought about it… there was definitely a dare somewhere) to dress as anyone from Rocky Horror other than Brad Majors.

"Steve

Steeeeeeeeve

You have to dress as someone other than prudetastic Brad. Especially since you're flying solo. Can't go looking around for some 'Janet' all night. Dress as anyone else fr."

Steve chuckled aloud when he'd read the message. He didn't hate the Brad comparison, nevermind that he'd rather dress as Janet, but he already had another costume in mind. Prude? No one's called me that before. Eddie is about to learn why.

He decided to show Eddie up by dressing as the least dressed of the film's cast: the creature, the creation, the muscle man, Rocky. A little chest oil and some impossibly small gold shorts was all it took. Had Eddie really forgotten? I was on the swim team, idiot. No stranger to tiny trunks.

Steve initially smirked when he took off his coat after they met up with Eddie. His jaw had dropped.

Eddie arrived, a corseted, high heel wearing Franknfurter, and with Robin's hair slicked back as Columbia the three of them were a hit. People literally stopped them to snap pics and selfies. So Steve's ego was already in a, self admittedly, inflated place.

They drank. Enough to feel loose, but not drunk. Steve started to look for a bit of fun for the evening. If he wanted fast and dirty… guys were easier picks. He figured especially at a party with the theater department. He eyed a few candidates, but he couldn't stop looking back at the one person he knew he shouldn't.

Eddie’s eyes had been watching him like prey since he entered. Steve recognized that stare, and he was sorely tempted to do something about it. Eddie's calves in those heels, thighs in those fishnets… it was doing things to his bisexual heart. The ass in those black panties deserved to have hands all over it. Steve had perfectly functional hands. Why not mine?

Because that's my friend. A key member of my small family-esque friend group. I don't want to fuck that up for anything… but Eddie has to worry about that too.

Since he'd been declared alive, free and clear of suspicion, and a graduate of Hawkins High, Eddie had been working incredibly hard at a mechanic apprenticeship he'd landed. It paid, so he had his own place, and selling drugs was out. Steve hadn't heard anything about his band, and in general he seemed to be working through the Mind Flayer's end the way they all had. There were a handful of people who could relate, and if they hung out after work or school that's who it was with.

So if he's looking like that… interested. Hell, hungry… A one time thing wouldn't be a big deal right? Maybe he's not concerned about the 'complicated' of it all.

That thinking led to a brush up in the kitchen, and extended eye contact. Eddie turned away. Oh, wow. Okay so maybe he really thinks I'm fucking straight. That why he's been eye-banging me all evening? Like I wouldn't notice? Something flared in Steve.

Steve walked directly up to Eddie and caught his fingers in his hand. He wordlessly led him upstairs into a bathroom. Steve locked the door behind him. He turned to assess and faced an Eddie whose eyes were as dark as Steve'd ever seen them. He wanted to fall into the gaze trained on him deep, endless… processing. He has brought Eddie this far. It was time to see if the scribbles on the bathroom stalls in high school had any truth to them. He could still picture a bit of graffiti from his junior year.

'best weed + best head E. Munson'

And now here they stood, barely dressed, facing each other. Ironically for Steve, in a bathroom.

Eddie stepped forward, and in a rare moment for him, seemed unable to put a sentence together. He looked minutely frustrated with himself before beginning to approach Steve again. He let his hand tentatively reach out and touch Steve's cheek. When Steve didn't back away, leaning his face into the touch Eddie's next movements were swift. The hand wound to the back of Steve's head, his other clutching Steve's hip. Eddie's lips crashed onto Steve's own.

Eddie's looks had been hungry. His kisses were ravenous. Steve did his best to respond in kind, sucking Eddie's bottom lip, biting softly. Eddie moaned, and Steve let his hands wander down. Oh that's not bad at all Munson, he thought, feeling the outline of Eddie's hard cock.

Steve got onto his knees. He pulled Eddie's panties down just enough to reveal the cock he'd just traced under the fabric. It was handsome. Eddie's hair flush with his skin, trimmed, left no distraction from his twitching dick now at the same height as Steve's mouth. He could feel Eddie's legs tremble slightly under his hands.

Eddie swallowed audibly. "I'm negative, uh… full panel," he managed to say.

"Same." 'Cause now I'm dying for a taste. "Step out of the heels…" Steve moved so his lips were pressed against the underside of Eddie's cock. He held it as he kissed up toward the tip. "Unless that's your thing." He looked up through his lashes at Eddie. He liked the view, Eddie trussed up in a sparkly purple corset, his face red, lips wet, hair a riot of untamed curls. Steve bit his lip and opened his mouth. "Freak," he said before slipping his lips around the pale pink tip of Eddie's cock.

Eddie moaned, and his painted fingernails buried themselves in Steve's hair. He didn't push, but Steve liked the possessive nature of the hold. He swallowed Eddie's cock in further, hollowing his cheeks as he sucked. He'd tasted Eddie's precome, bitter but sweet because it told Steve he was already doing a good job. He liked the appetizer, but he was ready for the main course.

Eddie was speaking again. "Fuck, Harrington. Holy fucking hell. You're doing so good. You're gonna get me off with that pouty pretty mouth in no time. Fuck. Oh, Stevie! Baby, be careful, I'm close."

'Stevie' sounded so nice on his ears. He'd always liked it, but there'd been an implication all his life; ‘Stevie’ was too 'girly' a nickname. Hah, just scratching the surface. Now Eddie was calling him 'Stevie,' 'baby?' He loved it. He deepthroated Eddie with his mouth's next pass. He took him as deeply as he could ignoring his reflex, the gag, ignoring Eddie's cry and warning.

Steve kept Eddie's cock all the way in, choking a little on the cum as he came, hips twitching his dick just a little further in as he filled Steve's mouth. That sound, the light gag, seemed to break something in Eddie. His legs shook again. Steve released his hips, where he'd held them in place, and Eddie finally slipped out of his heels, sitting down on the side of the tub.

Steve breathed in deep as he looked over at Eddie. He looked gorgeous. His eyes blissed out, glazed and unfocused; his lips still puffy and pink from their rough make out. Blowing him was good and all. Steve thought that was what he wanted tonight, but now… he really wanted more. Never hurts to ask. He licked his lips. Though in the bathroom, at a party, with someone who was purely a friend half an hour ago… Screw it.

"I want to fuck. Can I fuck you? I want to fuck you."

Eddie came back to earth and looked at Steve in utter shock. He mouthed a few words before he seemingly regained control of his voice. “I’m a, I'm I normally top,” he said, a little rough.

Steve chuckled a bit. “Yeah? I only top for anal.”

Eddie’s eyes widened a little as though he was stunned Steve had even used the word ‘top.’ “Fuck, Harrington. For how long-”

Steve shook his head, and interrupted Eddie. “-Dude, don’t dig into it now.”

“Steve." Eddie looked him in the eyes, hard. Steve read the meaning as Eddie elaborated, "I'm not exactly prepped for bottoming."

“Fuck it Eddie. I do not care. I'm using spit anyway. We’re in a bathroom…”

Eddie looked him over. Steve was still on his knees, though he had leaned back a little. He felt like he was the one trembling now. Eager. Ready. Steve gripped his cock through his tight gold shorts. That's where Eddie's eyes stilled.

"Okay. Well, that’s gonna be too much." Eddie pointed at Steve's hard cock. "With that thing, Steve? It’s too big." It should have disappointed him, but the way those words left Eddie lips… they became awestruck compliments. "Christ." Eddie pushed his hair back and looked at Steve again. "And yet, I’m entertaining this absolutely fucking crazy…" He rose, muttering to himself. "There's got to be something in here…" Eddie started digging under the cabinets.

He turned around quickly and stood, smiling maniacally. "Brilliant! Okay, now we're talking." He held out a bottle of 'one hundred percent all natural aloe vera.'

Steve’s face broke out in a huge smile in response to Eddie's. “You’re so resourceful," he practically purred.

Eddie's own smile waned a little as he turned the aloe in his hand. He bit his lip. "Shit. God. Steve, are you sure?" His big brown eyes were full of hesitancy.

He is the one who just came. He's got more clarity than me, Steve briefly thought.

"I mean this is this is fucking crazy," Eddie said, shaking his voluminous curls about.

But I want to so badly. Steve had that same sensation of standing at the edge of a high diving board, adrenaline pulsing, about to dive. “I want you.” Steve got up slowly, putting his hands on Eddie, almost as though he were climbing up. He thought about kissing his lips again, but at the last second turned, leaving Eddie gasping at the swift change of course. He lowered his lips onto Eddie's neck, kissing his way up to his hairline. Steve's hands fiddled around, and he snapped Eddie's garters. “I think you want me too,” he said, whispering just under Eddie’s ear.

Eddie let out a short laugh that didn't disprove Steve's statement. He pulled back just enough to work one hand back to Eddie’s panties, raising an eyebrow, asking. Eddie’s face was flushed again. Steve’s free hand loosely held his wrist, feeling his elevated heartbeat.

Eddie licked his lips. “Kiss me again, and then bend me over the sink baby.”

Steve moaned in response, lips landing on Eddie’s once again. He paid a little more attention to it this time, sucking Eddie’s tongue, pushing his own in to tangle. First impressions were that Eddie was very good at this. But I am too.

When he pulled back, Eddie held up a condom, cash, and his ID card bound together with a hair tie.

“Where-”

“-Corset.”

Steve took the condom and aloe from Eddie’s hands. “Position yourself how you like… Let’s keep the discomfort minimal, yeah?”

Eddie chuckled, and slowly took off his underwear, snapping his garters undone as he went. Steve briefly thought to help, but Eddie’s eyes were on him. This is a little show for me. No interruptions necessary. The thigh high fishnets didn’t immediately roll down, and Steve ran his hands over them after Eddie pushed his ass out, braced against the counter.

“You look so fucking sexy tonight Eddie. Was it for me,” Steve teased.

“Can’t a boy want to look pretty without drawing the male gaze?” Eddie shook his ass a little, his entrance on display. Steve was rolling the condom on his cock, lubing his fingers. Eddie’s eyes met Steve’s in the mirror’s reflection behind the sink. “But I’d be lying if I said I’d never thought of seducing you pretty boy.”

If he wants to seduce me… “‘Stevie,’ ‘baby, ‘pretty.’ I like the way you talk Munson.” Steve smiled and rested his slick fingers against Eddie’s hole. He started to circle it with his finger tips, gentle pressure, just warming up. Being able to see Eddie’s face, his reactions in the mirror, was hot as fuck. He slipped a finger in and then another before Eddie’s face really changed. He rocked back a little as the third entered him; his eyes closed, breathing swiftly in from his nose and exhaling slowly from his mouth until Steve felt satisfied with the stretch. Eddie's ring was loose enough now, and his mind was blazing with desire and a barely contained impatience.

Steve looked back up from his work to see Eddie staring at him in the mirror. Steve smiled again. “You gonna like watching me fuck you? Come on, tell me.” Steve left just one finger in Eddie. He was searching with it. “What do you want me to call you when I cum in this tight ass?”

Eddie responded, “sexy, babe…” He inhaled swiftly as Steve found that spot. Eddie closed his eyes and moaned, “devil, freak.”

Steve removed his fingers and grabbed his cock, lining up. “Gorgeous, darling, freak,” he drew the last word out as he pressed his tip in.

Eddie moaned and breathed out. His press became easier, and Steve moved in as deep as he felt Eddie could take him. Eddie bit his lip, his eyes closed. He was mouthing, and then crying, “baby, you’re so fucking big.”

“Enough for you darling?” Steve stopped, he was far enough in for his own needs. He could thrust… but he needed to check in. “Gonna let me fuck you now," he said, his voice shuddering with his hips. "Please?” Steve rubbed the small of Eddie’s back. He held his hip with the other hand. His whole body shook briefly as he fought to keep himself from plunging further in.

Eddie’s eyes opened and they stared into Steve’s in their reflection. “Fuck me Stevie.”

God, yes! Steve began to thrust his hips, keeping the passes quick and measured. “Babe, oh!” Steve sped up, unable to keep his eyes open any longer. “It’s gonna be quick. Fuck, that’s oh, so good. Eddie,” Steve exclaimed, feeling the low rolling build of pleasure in his body, the desire that drove his hips, sharpened to the point of ecstasy. Eddie’s body was a hot, frictioned embrace, designed for him to fill. Eddie cried softly underneath him, telling him to cum, telling him it was hot, and big, and good. Steve slowed and pumped through his orgasm, conscious he had cried Eddie’s name when he came. He briefly hoped no one outside the bathroom had heard.

Steve pulled out, and Eddie lifted off the counter, immediately moving to sit on the toilet.

“You said you didn’t care.”

Steve laughed. “I don’t.”

They cleaned up and put on the small amount of clothing they’d removed, both of them adjusting and checking for marks in the mirror. Steve caught Eddie’s eyes in the mirror again. He thought he saw a nervous sort of gaze reflected there, but the Eddie that turned around was brashly grinning.

“Let's uh. Let’s have a smoke?”

…

They looped through the house. Steve wasn’t sure how long they’d been gone, but a glance assured him that Robin was doing alright. She looked particularly animated in a conversation with a number of equally glittery people. She must’ve been really into it, hands up and gesturing.

They stood at the back door to the house, and Steve noticed that somewhere along the way Eddie had grabbed his jacket. He threw it over Steve’s shoulders and opened the door. Why is he always covering me up? Steve laughed softly, and followed Eddie out.

They huddled together, away from the other few folks in the tiny backyard. Eddie quietly lit his cigarette, taking a pull. He exhaled smoke into the night air and shook his long locks. "I can't believe I didn't know."

It was easy to guess what Eddie had meant. "I can." Steve laughed a bit again. He felt good. The sex had been the best he’d ever had in a bathroom by far. It was possibly the best he’d had outside of a bed, and it hasn’t gotten weird yet. Eddie seemed chill with… everything so far. "I don't exactly brag about my hookups by name."

Eddie cocked his head to the side. "And if they're more than hookups?"

"I know I'm bi,” Steve shrugged and pulled at the sleeves of Eddie’s jacket, “but there's never been anything ‘real’ with a guy. So, people assume I'm straight." They assume a lot of things… and I let them because… Hell, I don’t need to think about it right now. Besides, that’s all this was, a hookup. Eddie doesnt need to know everything.

"That's…” Eddie pulled at some of his curls, bringing them to his lips in a nervous gesture Steve had seen before.

Steve knew, as he lived now, he benefited from straight guy privilege. Eddie was out, and he’d gotten shit for it in the past. The town had been nasty about every aspect of Eddie when he was a suspected murderer too. Homophobia featured in part of their attacks. Steve didn’t love being basically closeted, but his bisexuality wasn’t the identity he worried about most.

“I guess live your life," Eddie said, dropping his hair. He exhaled another cloud of smoke, and Steve reached over to steal the cigarette. Eddie let him. "Well, ‘Steve of many secrets.’ We good?" Eddie blinked at him and resumed his intense gaze. Eddie had eyes that made Steve want to trust him with secrets, but instead, he finished Eddie’s cigarette.

"Yeah… If I can I keep the jacket," Steve teased. He wrapped his arms around himself, batting his lashes at Eddie.

Eddie pursed his lips, but Steve could still make out a bit of the smile he was hiding. "You'd have to give the vest back."

Steve snorted and flicked the cigarette butt into the dark. "If the police didn't trash it when they impounded the Winnebago? Gladly.”

Eddie steered him back toward the house, reclaiming his jacket, and they rejoined Robin for the night.

[i-want-all-the-cookies]

Hey, it's me, crawling back after being gone for a while 🥸. Unfortunately I've had to deal with a series of unfortunate events in my life. One of which was losing my notes (AGAIN) 😭. Soo in the attempt to try and get back into the swing of things, I'm gonna post some of my story wip ideas in hopes that it will motivate me enough to actually start writing again.

Note: I'm not including my Jimmy, Forrest, or Philip fics as those have already been started. This is just for wips of fics I only have minimal notes on right now.

Wolf fic

Wolf/Reader or OC

Found friends, unlikely friendship, wrong number, catching feelings for a stranger, dealing with grief

Summary: You're left with an empty hole in your soul after the loss of a great friend. A void that you attempt to fill as you reach out to find some kind of closure. Basically, you wrong dial/text Wolf. He humors you at first with responding, since he's bored and finds your messages entertaining enough to pass the time. But somewhere along the line feelings start to develop, even though he's never even seen your face. Most of this story takes place over messages and almost encounters.

Wolf fated mates fic

Wolf/OC or reader

Enemies-lovers, rivals-lovers, semi forced proximity (both are union members having to deal with union shi), fated mates au, no shifting, mate reveal at age 18, you know before he does, trying to be the bigger person is HARD

Summary of sorts: A member of the union under Yeo-Il. Think Donald's a huge ass but the pay can't be beat, even when having to deal with other union members like Wolf. Especially Wolf. Who you can't seem to get along with from the very first encounter. You both are basically water and oil having to coexist in the same space. But then you turn 18 a couple months before he does, and realize that destiny has played you for a fool, by making Wolf your fated mate. So now you're left trying to figure out what to do next.

Notes: was reading waay to many werewolf stories during the creation of this story idea 🙃

Donald fic

Donald/OC or reader

Oppites attract, aged up characters, both already in the workforce, forced proximity due to work, one night stand not staying a one night stand, very low spice (for now anyway), mostly just sexual tension, expanding on one of my oneshots

Summary-ish: A crazy night out with friends leads to an unexpected one night stand with a dangerous but handsome looking stranger. You check it off as a very delightful YOLO experience, never expecting to meet "what's his name" again. Until you find yourself sitting in a conference room, while your boss introduces the new business partner your company is doing a collaboration with. And if that wasn't awkward enough, you get voted to be the employee to spearhead the details of this new business merger.

Notes: this came about when I mentioned to someone about how cute it would be if Donald developed feelings for someone like the character in my karaoke crackfic. A very opposites attract that just happens to work despite their differences. Only for them to shot that idea down and state he would be better off with someone like one of their own OC's, who's more like him 😐🤨😮‍💨

Welp, challenge accepted I guess.

Jake 7 minutes in heaven fic

Jake/OC or reader

Quiet and reserved character meets popular and outgoing character, opposites attract, 7 minutes of heaven game, forced proximity due to game, aged up characters, college au, college frat party, fish out of water

Summary: You get dragged to some frat party by your more outgoing and social bestie, only to be left alone while they make out with some rando. While trying to blend in and look like you belong you end up getting paired up for a round of 7 minutes in heaven, and before you can even begin to protest, you end up locked in a closet with Jake Ji.

Notes: Haven't decided how spicy I want to make this one. Should I make it more suggestive in nature?  Or should I crank the spice level all the way up 🌶🔥😈

Alright. That's it. Now to wait for some motivation vibes to come and find me.

Also, completely unrelated, but is it just me or have the porn bots uped their game while I've been m.i.a? Like not only are they "following" but now they're also liking posts? And not even locking their accounts, so when you click on the profiles you get an eyeful of "activity"! Like wut in the... left me completely shooketh.

[magical-glimpse]

Hi miaro..

Im in my first year graduation and there is this guy, he is my senior..

There is a strange, how do I say, i didn't knew him properly and when I met him a few months back it was not that good meeting too but I don't know what it was, I started to kindoff get obsessed with him,not in a bad way,it was, as I got to know him more I got into him and saw myself in him...

I felt him like myself,

I go through his social media and watch him and I just cant take my eyes off of him, this started to happen around 6 months ago and I strangely used to feel like "he is the one"...

I was at the best times, I felt like I won over everything and it was crazy feeling, but slowly I don't know why but things started to turn negative, people I didn't wanted to meet came back into my life, things that I ignored, few situations and emotions I had forgotten, it's like life is restarting again from the beginning and wanting me to work on all those things and it's tiring and toxic as hell...

It's like I met him, he made me feel like a queen, and once I started to feel that way life was like this this this this it's like showing a mirror to who I'm...

Strangely he is going through same experiences as me not the romantic one, that I don't know but more about issues with family, friends, few life problems we face, when he shares few post or when we gather for any group meetings or college fest, he shares exact thoughts like something I had in my mind, say we are talking about an old song or view on life, he shares exact words and it's crazy ..

There are so many I want to share but I'm going through awakening and life is shifting in the sense that it's meaning, what actually matters and all...

And I'm growing more and more towards that person too ..

Could it be a twinflame thing? Can you please help me out with what it could be?

But what's strange is, I have not seen him experience any sort of things romantically, we are not in contact that much too and I don't want to be judged too.. if it was a twinflame thing he would've felt same right but why did he trigger me so much, and why do I feel so confident in him as to he being the one?

Other than the romantic angle 😜 everything fits in and I just don't know how to go about it..

What if I tell him all these and he laughs his ass off

Also there is a girl in his class he probably likes, guys around tease him with her, so I don't wanna mess, my heart breaks but I just cant stop loving him and the way he makes me feel..

Some sort of lesson-causing soulmate ? Probably. Twin Flame ? There isnt much here to show that. Yes, i do see that the two of you meeting may have caused some mayhem in both your lives. But graduations in general tend to do that.

Obsession has nothing to do with any kind of soulmate. Feeling like someone is the one is also extremely subjective, and there are so many stories of people thinking someone was the One when it just was not true, i do not think it is sufficient to indicate anything, especially since soulmates are not even supposed to be the One in the first place.

The romantic angle, as you said, also has nothing to do with twin flames, or any meaning towards what you are meant to learn whatsoever.

A twin flame does not necessarily feels the same about you as you do. They are simply a soul that mirrors yours and if coming across each other in a life, both should learn major learn lessons.

Let him laugh his ass off, who cares. But according to what you have given me, there is no good reason to think this is a twin flame relationship, so even less to talk to him about it.

Honestly, I just think you are having a crush...

He may not reciprocate, in which case ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. it may feel like you're in love and he's special, but likely he's just some guy that you have a lot in common with that you met at turning point on your life. Or at least, you didnt give info that make it seem different.

I see my answer seems very cynical, however this is as genuine as i can be to help you in the circumstances you have chosen to give me.

[livingasaghost]

remember in high school and college when i chronically overshared on tumblr about every little thing and then i was like "no no that's too personal i shouldn't share that nobody needs to know that"

well joke's on yall because i am still a chronic oversharer!

so basically you all surmised that i signed for my own solo apartment. i got the keys last tuesday and i was hoping to move in this past weekend with the help of my dad. it was supposed to be a simple thing...and now i am sitting on the couch in my old place with my entire life in boxes and a full-ass covid diagnosis. how did we get here you may ask?

basically the unit i am renting is not the one i toured or signed up for. which shouldn't be the end of the world, i'm flexible, the space is mostly similar....except that it smells like cigarettes and also there have been a million other tiny problems. the appliances aren't as new, the tub needs help, there's just no microwave???, the fridge doesn't really open properly, there was water pooling in the bathroom sink, when i got there the first time the deadbolt lock was wiggly, the ceiling outside the unit is literally falling down??? and also one day when i came to check out the unit there was a notice from the sheriff for the previous resident to vacate the premises. so totally chill!

i kind of had a breakdown about it when i first saw the space but then i reasoned with myself that i was just making a big deal out of nothing, that it could all probably be fixed, and some of it was fixed by maintenance...but after going to the leasing office three days in a row trying to fix all these problems, i still have to deal with the cig smell, NO MICROWAVE?, and the entire thing just feels more and more unsafe. not to mention it wasn't what i thought i was paying for, especially for the price range.

and i think the biggest thing too is that the one person i kept talking to in the office was both incredibly unhelpful and really quite rude. and sure maybe she was having an off day (three days in a row???) like i can be empathetic for sure....but goddamn i am a new resident you should at least tRY to be nice to me! i think i deserve that at the very least!

so anyway dad came to visit and tell me i'm not crazy and we toured my unit again and both agreed that this isn't what i thought i was getting so we gotta talk to someone before i move everything into that godforsaken unit. we try to talk to the office on saturday but the lady (again, rudely) told us that everybody was MIA until tuesday but there were two other units similar to my style/price range so okay maybe i can look at one of those on tuesday

...except sunday i tested positive for covid and so obviously now i am bedridden and i can't speak bc my voice is almost gone and so okay i'll just have dad call the office to sort things out....except when he calls the office they say they'll call him back with someone who can actually deal with this (nobody ever calls back in that office, i know from past experience). so okay maybe i'll send a message in the resident portal! (again, nothing)

now last week i think i spent 3-4 days just stewing in my anxiety, feeling like shit, not eating or sleeping, and the best part of my day was going to work. bc that's how bad i felt about this whole thing. but now i am out of work until next tuesday, i have even less of an idea of what to do, and i'm arguably losing more money the longer i wait but i feel this strange sense of peace. like nothing matters! i will be okay bc i am privileged but i will use this to spite landlords and capitalism and i will continue to be angry! bc what the fuck! literally could have been a chill little thing if they would have just walked through the unit with me like i asked the moment i got my keys but nO she didn't want to do that because i was inconveniencing her!

god the more i think about it the more furious i am for the other people they've inevitably done this to

i'm so so lucky to have incredible parents and friends to support me through this bc it quite frankly sucks ass but what are we doing about the lower class! how are we helping them!! how do we stop this from happening to other people!!!

anyway, now you have context, i'm back to being an emotionless blob watching parks & rec and sniffling on the couch let's all pray that xfinity doesn't realize that they haven't disconnected the wifi yet oops

[rainbow-tazer]

Yes it is that time again where it's late, I'm high, and I got particular thought keeping me up, this time it's beef jerky guy. With the recent video floating around of some chick checking to see if her bf actually used soap to wash himself it has made me relive the memories of beef jerky guy.  

Back in my younger days I want to say around 18 to 19 I hung out with a group that made incredibly questionable choices. I would pretty much hang out and party with these guys every single day if I wasn't at college I was hanging out with them and when I got home from college I spent the night's drinking with them. So the main couple of the group had texted me to come hang out one night and I got in the car not really knowing what we were doing just down for anything like always. They started out by warning me "hey we got to go pick up someone and drop them off somewhere, but just so you know they smell really bad"

I was like "what do you mean like how bad??"🤨

Immediately the girlfriend was like "oh my God like actually horrible I'm so sorry you have to be that back there with him like I would kill myself" 😭

at the time all I could think was damn there's no way it could be that bad she has to be exaggerating right? than she added “like its crazy we are about to pimp out this dude, he has a huge cock so girls pay to sleep with him despite his smell” he boyfriend shot her a look like girl we discussed this which she responded “what she's gonna see the girl hand you the money anyways” meanwhile I'm just sitting in the back of the car like .... “WE ABOUT TO DO WHAT?!” 😰. 

The boyfriend then explain to me that the guy is his really close friend and despite his terrible smell women still pay to sleep with him because his Ding-A-Ling is just that grand. So they had worked out a deal where the boyfriend would drive this dude the places he needed to go to have sex with these women, and in exchange the boyfriend would get half whatever he got paid.

 so we go to pick up the guy and the minute this man enters the car I shit you not my eyes started watering, this dude was fucking foul 🤢. the girlfriend was in no way exaggerating the putrid smell that leaked from this man, was only a smell I could describe as beef jerky being left out in the sun for months. Hence the name I coined for him being “beef jerky guy” partly because i could not for the life of me remember this guys name and kept thinking his name was Kyle for some reason 😅. They were nice enough up front to crack the window in the back which i was using as my only source of oxygen for the whole ride, oh believe me i was gasping as i could see the fumes rolling off him towards me. Finally we pulled up to this dark ass park where this lady walked up to the car payed the boyfriend and walked off over into the darkness of the nearest playground with beef jerky guy 💀. This man smelled so bad i genuinely needed answers like his smell haunts me, I don't care how big his dick is idk how anyone fucked that dude without a gas mask let alone would pay for such an experience.

Immediately i was like this man must not have access to a working shower or have crippling depression right? nope as they explained which was later confirmed when i went to his apartments (because he had to get the drug he was making in the oven out before they exploded, you know normal stuff) that he indeed did own a working shower. Also the guy did not have crippling depression as it turned out this dude was just as they had originally described “a hippie mf who didn't wash his ass”. Apparently everyone in his life brings it up, but i suppose when you have a big dick you get the confidence to stop washing your ass😭💀

[bobbymckenzie]

ok taking a poll: should i try to write a college au? if so, gimme ideas for plot points and drama and shit bc i’m like this close to buckling and writing it so. lmk !

[rpmusingsforthesoul]

Community Season 1 Sentence Starters

feel free to change pronouns

“Okay, there’s more to this speech. There’s actually a middle card that’s missing. Can we look around our immediate areas?”

“Holy crap. ____, I see your value now.”

“Um, I am in a bit of a jam.”

“I would say anything to get what I want and I want you to like me.”

“Do you have something balled up inside of you?”

“Say you have to pee. I need to talk to you.”

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom and bring my jacket, wallet, and keys with me...in case there’s a fire.”

“I think she needs to decide whether she wants to be considered a child or an adult because children get pity, but not respect. And adults, they get respect, but they also get the back of their heads grabbed and faces pushed through jukeboxes.”

“Would you have some self-respect? You are obsessing over someone who does not give you a second thought.”

“I AM A SPANISH GENIUS!”

“My knowledge will bite her face off! So don’t mess with ____ or you’ll get bit!

“We’re gonna take this and put it in a museum for crazy people.”

“How about I pound you like a boy-? That didn’t come out right.”

“Boo. An ordinary coffee for an ordinary life.”

“I shall have...a birthday cake!”

“I can help you with your image. First, I’d lose the jacket, you look like a high school bitch.”

“So, who wants to be in a psych experiment?”

“Houston, we have an idiot.”

“___ told me she had a sex dream about you. You still have a chance!”

“If I’m occasionally naked in your dreams, I won’t complain.”

“No worries, man. Eh...some worries, man. Some worries...”

“We were designed by whatever entity you choose to hear what’s in this range. And really this range alone. Because you know who’s talking to us in this range? The people we love.”

“I don’t know about you, but this feels like a real college to me.”

“I’ve peed alone my whole life.”

“I’m not having a conversation with someone who emerges from a bush.”

“You were way more attracted to me than you were willing to admit.”

“I am offering you an opportunity to drink from the cup of life rather than romancing your nether regions in front of the E channel.”

“I’m sorry i called you a handsome hobo.”

“Is there a pill that makes the word ‘no’ clearer?”

“If this dude doesn’t show up, we’re definitely going to Applebee’s.”

“___, kick his ass!”

“Beep-beep! Oh my god, what’s going on? Beep-beep beep-beep beep! My bull-crap meter’s going crazy.”

“I’m back with no booty.”

“She’s had enough! She’s had enough!”

“If the sea was always still and calm, no one would respect her.”

“Hey! Get out of my parking space, dip-wad!”

“You ever get tired of being a buzz-kill, ___”

“Why are you dressed like a wizard?”

“The dean announced the prize and we turned on each other like animals.”

“Checkmate, bitches.”

“___ made God mad!”

“I’ll take everyone out. I play paintball three times a week, bro. I’m one of the douches that brings his own equipment.”

“I know the family downstairs hates me. I don’t need to know why.”

“Tell me who did it so I can murder your face!”

“Yeah, learn everything. Learn until you’re dead or you could call this number.”

“___, Don’t get back together with ___! I love you.”

“I’m glad you’re staying.”

[kkusuka]

Have I told you I hate weak y/n’s that get pushed around by fangirls? No? Well, I hate them 😊

Let’s have Oikawa, Atsumu, Akaashi, Semi, and Terushima react to their normally calm gf, beat the dog shit out of a fangirl that tried to intimidate her for dating said men above. Reader just has a soft smile before cocking her fist back and boxing her shit before holding up the fangirl and looking to the rest like “You wanna end up like her? No? Then know your place~ ☺️”. Then she faces her bf with a sweet smile and says something affectionate like “I brought you lunch, dear. I made it just how you like it 😄” before kissing his cheek like she didn’t go Muhammad Ali on a bitch

<3

Oikawa Tooru<3

Oikawa’s had more than a few less than pleasant experiences with women

Considering he’s always been surrounded by them, from his sister's friends in middle school and being swarmed by them in High school and college- having women around him was nothing new

And for the most part, they were all pleasant

Giving him little gifts and food- that he always gave to you- and just telling him how much they loved watching him play

All things he can deal with before talking to his favorite girl, you

Though, there have been instances of some bold woman who just never get the hint

Whether it be drunkenness or some weird dream of having Oikawa to herself or just blatant disregard of his relationship

And right now just happens to be one of those times- but now you got a firsthand view of the madness.

Whoever this was clearly didn't understand relationships or personal space for that matter

She had a hand on his chest and was just blubbering about how she would be the best wife for him and would make life so much easier- much more than you do for him- and that was just what you saw from the ten seconds you were in earshot

He would normally laugh it offend continue seeking out autographs but he seemed to be locked in an iron maiden

“I promise! Forget about your girlfriend, she’s useless anyways!” and finally a perfect chance to make yourself known

“Tooru, I have your lun-” you attempted to grab him away, him shooting a pleading look to save him before your wrist was snatched from his arm and tugged away and shoved to the side then pushing your body away from the two

“Back off bitch!”

Now,  you were normally a pretty calm person, you knew how to deal with the women and you have been for years.

But you stand by the fact that it was never ok to put your hands on someone- no matter the situation.

But at that moment, you could care less about your silly reparations and breathing methods, that lady put a hand on you and pushed you

You could hear Tooru telling her to keep her hands off you but you just looked around and made sure that everyone saw what had happened, you don't need to be arrested anytime soon

Grabber her arm you detached her from your boyfriends and in the next second your fist was connecting with her face, watching her wither on the floor you turn to your boyfriend who’s now coming towards you

“As I was saying, I have your lunch.”

Atsumu Miya<3

Another guy who’s constantly surrounded by women

Although he is far less appreciative and nice to them, and he makes it a point to be abundantly clear that you are the only woman he will spend the rest of his life with

Something that wasn't too popular with a few specific fans

Every blue moon someone will find his phone number and blow it up with loving messages or try and get his address

The worst it’s been was someone finding his apartment number and thankfully being too far away to come by themselves but they did send some inappropriate images to his PO box and that led him to create an even thinker line between fans and himself

Thankful, the whole of them understood and respected his boundaries

Buuuuut there are always people who go the extra step

Like whoever this is crowding your boyfriend after a win against the Alders with a giant poster of him and a …. Thong

If you were the slightest more stoic you would have held in the laugh that started it all but it seems crazy is crazy no matter how you provoke them

That lady heard you laugh and the flood gates opened, in a split second her hand was on your cheek then she was on the floor holding what you could hope was a broken jaw

You didn't even realize you punched her until a shooting pain went up your wrist

Though before you had a chance to return to your lovely boyfriend, who was standing in the same spot shell shocked (and slightly turned on)  hand grabbed your ankle the flung you to the ground

It was, for lack of a better term, a catfight

She was hitting you and you were hitting her and she was screaming random shit about how awful you were to her precious Atsumu- seriously this lady was insane

Nevertheless, security arrived, and let’s just say that you were in much better condition than she was, who knew you could fight so well?

Though you weren't allowed to come to the next game and had to apologize to the heads of the Volleyball association, Tsumu was proud of you and the internet was on your side- so it was kind of a win-win

Akaashi Keiji<3

He surprisingly doesn't have a swarm of fangirls around him

But it’s much much worse, you’d rather have a mob of girls around him than the four specific psychos that never leave the poor guy alone

Everywhere in school at least one of them is watching the two of you, in class, at lunch- no matter where you try and eat- you swear you even saw one at the boba show you pass on your walk home with him

The worst part?

He thinks it’s funny.

It is hilarious to him that you try so hard to keep them away full knowing he would never leave you for the likes of them. It’s just too cute how you puff up your cheeks and huff about them and honestly, it's a breath of fresh air considering how much everyone kisses up to him

Well- he likes it when they are at a distance

On the off chance they get close to him, it's a different story. They truly are intolerable, and they away try bad-mouthing you to him like it was supposed to mean something that they don't like you

And they only ever do it when you’re away- cowards they truly are. And since they’re always watching, as soon as you left to buy the two of you lunch, one of them was on him in an instant

She was annoying and all she could say was ho you were a ‘poison’ in his life and he had to leave you as soon as possible

He didn't even realize you were there until a hand grabbed the back of her uniform and flung her off him. And from the looks of it, falling on the ground really hurt

“I’m a poison? That’s all you could come up with?”

You didn't even have to say another word, she was already out of sight

Not missing a beat, you handed him his lunch and started talking about the latest episode of the volleyball anime you loved.

Semi Eita<3

First off- a total power couple

Not only are you willing to beat a bitch, but he’s also ready to hype you up while you do it

It’s not confirmed you have, but there are rumors that you fought more than a few girls who were less than pleasant. And it’s not like you do anything for rumor control, you just laugh and turn the other way

Still, even with the rumor mill running rampant, some girls still try and shoot their shot

But this girl has to be the boldest woman on planet earth

Not only was she flirting with an openly taken man, but she was flirting with him as he held his arm around your waist. She even looked at you as she spoke to him, the audacity of people these days

“You like music? That’s crazy, I do too!” you wanted her to shut the fuck up as soon as possible.

What pissed you off more was that he knew exactly what he was doing, and he was letting it happen to spite you.

What happened after this you blame solely on the alcohol the party was providing and not on the fact you wanted to clock this girl the moment you saw her

It was just that suddenly your drink was in her face

Then her drink was in her face, and she was running to the bathroom, maybe she should listen to rumors more often because you don't think strawberry daiquiri will come out of a white crop too so easily

Terushima Yuji<3

He’s an ass

But he’s your ass, somehow

He’s a manwhore and an attention-whore, mix that should have been shot before it could grow into something more

By now you're used to the girls slipping him their numbers and hitting him up on every social media site possible and you remain happy to say he doesn't respond- probably too busy dicking you down to care about any of them

Plus, less than 1%  of them actually approach them in public, and they just happen to be the most insufferable people on the planet.

Desperation doesn't even describe it

Of that 1%, at least half of them try to touch him, running a hand on his arm, tugging at his clothes, maybe even a strand of his hair, all you can deal with because he knows what’ll happen if he even entertains their advances

But for some reason, the only thing that sets you off is when they mention the tongue piercing.

It invokes a rage unknown within you, the second the metal ball’s mentioned you see red. And he fucking loves it, you could be three prefectures over and the second the girl mentions it, you magically appear at his side like you’d been there the whole time

All of a sudden you’re all over him, disregarding this girls words as she tries to bring the conversation back to her, going as far as grabbing your shoulder, and since she touched you first- you had the green light

Your arm pulled back and your fist connected to her cheek

And like nothing ever happened you turned back to the blond

tags: @diamond-3 @rinsangel @heyheyitsne @angelalje @monisi @crystal-lilac @sadpotato10