#as scared to post this as the first chapter of my first f1 fic

[juddygirl]

Consequences of Love- Max/Daniel- 12 k

16

When Max turns sixteen and they placed the cake in front of him, he is unsure what to wish for. He knows that getting a seat in Formula one is just a matter of patience, Red Bull has made it clear he’s going to get one soon. His father and him have worked tirelessly for that goal. there isn’t much to want or wish for anymore.

He sits on a scratchy chair in the dining room of his mother’s home, surrounded by the entire family. Birthdays are a big deal here. It’s one of the few times a year they all get to be together. Max gets to spend time with his mother and sister he doesn’t see much because of his schedule. He misses them a lot and refuses to celebrate anywhere but here, even if it means watching his parents always attempt to tolerate each other since their bitter divorce years ago. They’re sitting on the opposite side of the table, taking pictures to remember this day, they want to have wonderful memories to remember him by if something were to happen to him.

It’s a quieter party compared to the one his friends had thrown for him the night before, which left him hangover and tired for his actual birthday. His head is pounding, his mouth is dry, and his body aching but he tries to hide his misery behind a smile, knowing his dad would kill him if he knew about it.

From the corner of his eyes, he catches his parents, hatred filling their eyes, smirks covering the awful comments they keep throwing at each other. He feels sick at the atrocities they tell each other. Maybe that’s what he should wish for, a normal family. Or one birthday to not end with a fight, or with his mother crying. But that’s wishing for a miracle, and he knows better than to waste it on this. 

He keeps wracking his brain. He watches his older cousin wrapping his arms around his girlfriend’s waist, kissing her neck. Max looks away when their eyes meet. His heart sinks, a spike of jealousy running through him. he stares into the twinkling flames of the candle dancing in front of him and wishes for the one thing he’s been looking for his entire life, Love.

[romanscool]

HIYAAAA it's Ocean 😽

First of all..... Happy holidays!!!!!🎄💫🩷

I know it's only November, but I'm really feeling the Christmas spirit

Anyways I came on to tumblr as I do once every 3 weeks and I saw you posted this ask game thingy so I'm about to bombard you with a bunch of these asks 😼

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

🏡What is your perfect writing envrionment?

💻What do you write your stories on? Laptop, phone, paper, etc.

🍎What's something you learned while researching for a fic?

Yuh

hi hi hi!!!

happy holidays to you too!! and to be honest, I have been really excited for the Christmas and new years' spirit this year too for some reason unknown,,, maybe it's cause im excited for January haha

im so glad for that!! thanks so much for this ask <33

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I actually don't listen to music much while I write,, I'd much rather play a collection of F1 tiktok on loop haha - I have this weird thing where I need repetitive sounds to concentrate, something familiar that my brain doesn't need to focus on :') it's the neurodivergence in me I guess

i've had quite a long period of playing songs like 'We'll Never Have Sex' by Leith Ross, 'No One Noticed' by The Marias (or even 'White Ferrari' by Frank Ocean) on loop while writing the last couple chapters of wcmn,,, so if that helps, I like soft dull songs haha

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

I don't! sometimes I think that's unfortunate, considering English is very much not my first language, but I also quite like my weird syntaxes and made up words so,,, im happy about that :)

🏡What is your perfect writing envrionment?

definitely tucked deep in my bed with my cat sleeping on my shins (that little guy finds this weird weirdly comforting, though it's got to be a little awkward no?)! I'd much rather have background noise (like my repetitive tiktoks) than no noise, and sometimes find having someone -anyone- doing their thing next to me to be quite focusing. not even talking, just me writing and them doing whatever helps me concentrate for a reason I do not know haha

I've often found public transportation (like the bus or the tram) to be very inspiring too! though usually I only write my prompts/outlines/first drafts there because I tend to be easily distracted and write words and sentences that hold no meaning even to me

💻What do you write your stories on? Laptop, phone, paper, etc.

most of it all is written on my laptop (I like the little sounds of the keyboard) because I find that I write faster and more precisely on it. I sometimes write on my phone, especially if im on public transports, but my train of thought is quick to go everywhere and not make any sense,,,

🍎What's something you learned while researching for a fic?

so many things!!

I think the most 'impressing' is the whole learning dutch language, because I did initially start for wcmn and the dutch dialogue in it (though I've had to use some google translate also,,, sorry duolingo I guess)

a fun one is all the little baby/kid/teen maxiel stuff that I've also put in wcmn and it's little 'epilogue': all the little facts about Daniel being scared of the dark and max having his mum's dress from when he was born as a plushy is all canon!! I wish I could've added more of those in, but I tend to info dump a little too much, so I've decided to keep it to that ;') (for more info on this feel free to check the teen!maxiel tag though!!)

thank you so much for this ask ocean!! it's been lovely to answer all of those little emoji <3

hope you liked my answer, even if they're a little boring or over explained sometimes,,, I hope to hear from you again soon (even if its in three weeks time <3)

lots of love, roman

[aviangrian]

ahhh i just wanted to say i love starboy SOOO much!!!! i did not/still dont know anything about f1 but the way you write it is so easy to follow along with and read!!! i love how you write the characters, especially scar/grian/joel/lizzie, you write them so so sooo flawlessly... i love how it seems like were there with scar in the moment of everything going on and how you describe everything from his perspective. i also LOVE how you write scar and grian especially because they both seem just so *real* and *raw* and i usually never see that from fics. the way you write is just so in detail that it really allows the reader to imagine everything thats happening and i LOVEEE that!!! i also love how you write grian and mumbos friendship, like they obviously care about each other so muchhh and i love how the readers able to see that even through scars perspective!!!!! esp the scene after grian fell asleep watching topgun and mumbo helping him lay down into a more comfortable position,,, and how they hugged when grian finally got p1 😭😭❤️ NOT TO MENTION THE LATEST CHAPTERRRR AND SCAR AND GRIANS FIRST KISS????? THAT WHOLE CHAPTER WAS GOLDDDD i loved that chapter so much,,, so much happened between grian and scar???? that scene of them in the club??? scar (and us) finally getting some insight to what happened in grians past from grian himself??? grian being comfortable enough with scar to actually open up to him??? AND THEM CONFESSINGGG??? ☹️☹️☹️❤️❤️❤️ might be my fav chapter if im being honest

i also just wanted to ask a few questions while i was here though;

first, do you have a set upload schedule? or is it like a whenever you have time to work on it thing?

second, do you think youll be posting more content abt this au after starboy is finished? like a grians pov or something? ive become so interested in this au because i can tell so much work has been put into it and id love to see more it!!

lastly, is this going to be an eventual mumscarian fic??? i think its obvious Somethings going on/has happened between grian and mumbo but i just dont know What... like that one scene with them all at the dinner??? or the car scene with grian standing up through the sunroof???

i cant wait to read more chapters!!! but im also scared As Hell because SO much has happened already and its only been 6 chapters. we still have 5 more longgg chapters left and im so scared but also excited for how things are going to go... i hope youre having a good day, i cant wait to see what you have in store for this story!!! 🫶🫶 sawrry that this was a lot of rambling though,,, 😭😭❤️

anon i’m crying?? 😭 thank you so much.

the goal of the fic is real and raw! it’s an unusual setting (maybe not for me considering this is my second racing centric fic) but everything that happens is a product of the environment! the wins from his own team left scar feeling bitter at times, but watching grian win had him so proud he knew he’d get in trouble w his own team if he showed it lol. it’s all about where they are and it makes me sooo happy (like you would not believe) when people who aren’t f1/sports fan still enjoy the fic!

last ch was a lot and contained a lot of really vital stuff that i couldn’t wait to see the reactions of. grian finally opening up is so important to me and scar letting it happen in its own time is a huge part of why grian begins letting him in, which is evidently not something he’s used to at all. mans has been through it in this universe

as for the questions: i don’t have an upload schedule but i try to churn out the chs when i have time. it fits that valentine’s was right before midterms season for me so i got to get something out before i get swamped by all that 🥲 i don’t like to let a full month go by without posting but we’ll see how my semester keeps going lol

and i’ve been thinking of content once i’ve finished starboy. i’ve had ideas of grian’s pov hitting all the major plot points or even a jimmy spin-off one shot but nothing is planned for now. definitely floating around in my mind

mumscarian is not the endgame but the mystery behind grian and mumbo will be revealed! grian is mysterious and mumbo being mumbo goes along w it, but it does come full circle eventually!

i didn’t even realize there’s already only 5 chs left! that’s crazy, considering how much of the story i have left!

thank you again anon, this is all very much appreciated. i love your rambling because it allowed me to ramble too haha

[madam-wakefield]

Open when...Chapter 5

AO3 Link FF Link

Summary:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 When a few years into their relationship Bernie is asked to go back to the army and deploy Serena isn't sure how she's going to get through the nine months without her girlfriend. What she doesn't expect is for it to be her girlfriend who has the perfect set of surprises to get her through both the best and the worst days. Canon divergent - Elinor lives (well actually the accident never happens), Raf lives, and Cameron isn't a total ass! The staff of AAU also probably didn't all work on there at the same time in canon but do in this! The fic is already fully written with the first few chapters having already been Beta'd. 27 chapters including the epilogue. Hoping to post every Monday and Friday!

Chapter 5

Open when you have had a good day at work…

Bernie has been gone over a month before she really starts to feel somewhat used to not having her partner around. It isn’t easy, but it’s easier than it was when she first left. She and Jason have slowly fallen into a good routine, and this makes life easier for them both. Serena has also gained more confidence in Raf which means there are times when she lets him handle the red phone on his own, knowing he’ll call her in if she’s needed. 

Today has been one such day: She’d been working alongside Raf when the car accident had been called through, two victims with almost identical injuries. There is no way they could have chosen which one of them to prioritise and they didn’t have to. They’d each taken their own second doctor and taken both patients into surgery at the same time. She and Raf had both encountered different complications in theatre, but the end result is the same for both patients. While recovery will take a while, they should both be fine. 

That isn’t the only positive thing to come out of the day. The new F1s who have been driving her crazy for the past week finally seem to be getting used to how life at the AAU runs. They act professionally and sensibly but also aren’t scared to call on her for help. By the end of the day, she remembers exactly what she loves about her job and why she loves being clinical lead of AAU. Today has been one of those days when what she’s done at work has really made a difference. 

At the end of her shift she decides that today is definitely a day for one of Bernie’s envelopes. It doesn’t take her long to find the right one: “Serena – Open when you’ve had a good day…” 

Just as she’s collecting her bag and coat, Fletcher sticks his head round the office door to tell her they are all off to Albie’s for a drink. Normally she’d accompany them, but this evening she decides she wants to take her letter home and enjoy reading it before taking time to herself write to Bernie. She knows that while her day has been good, Bernie won’t be having the same kind of good days as she is, so she wants to share this with her in the hope it will at least help a little. 

The house is quiet when she gets home, and she can’t say it isn’t welcome. Jason is on a late shift which means he likely won’t be home until she’s already in bed. She heats up some leftover curry that she’d saved for the evening and pours herself a glass of red wine before heading to the table, taking the envelope from Bernie carefully out of her bag. 

She can’t help but smile at Bernie’s messy writing, it’s the epitome of a doctor’s handwriting. She takes the letter out of the envelope and lays it flat on the table so she can eat while she reads. 

My Dearest Serena,

I’m so glad you have had a good day and I hope that reading this will help make it even better. It’s so nice to have a day at the mad house that either runs smoothly or that works out for the best despite the challenges thrown at you. I’m so thankful to have you (and Raf) looking after the trauma unit for me. Please write to me when you can to tell me about your wonderful day but until then, let me pamper you with some of my own words of affirmation. 

I am truly lucky that I get to call you my girlfriend, because you’ve been everything to me these past few years. I value how you’ve always taken care of me, even when you’ve been tired. I love the way your eyes light up when you compliment me. The gentle tone you use when talking to me, the one that shows me that you truly cherish me. I know that this life we have created together is not a temporary thing but a permanent blossoming in our hearts. 

That final thought makes every day I spend deployed just a little bit easier. Knowing that at home is someone who wants to nurture and flourish this relationship as much as I do. That trusts me enough to let me have this time, to find the closure I truly needed. 

When I joined the army, I couldn’t openly be who I was. I would have lost everything. Yet here I am able to openly write that I am so thankful that I met you. Never in my dreams did I ever imagine that I would find anyone as wonderful as you. Here I am closing the army chapter in my life, openly gay and with the most amazing woman that I get to call my girlfriend. 

I hope this letter has helped to make your day even more enjoyable than it already was. 

All My Love, Bernie,

Your Big Macho Army Medic x

By the time she finishes the letter her heart is so full of love for Bernie that she’s surprised it doesn’t burst open. She can’t say this is ever how she imagined her life would be like, since she had never even considered kissing a woman before meeting Bernie. But right here and right now, she knows she wouldn’t have life any other way.

She stands from the table, picking up her half empty glass of wine, and heads towards the living room, grabbing her laptop as she goes. She loads up the INtouch electronic mail service, happy now that she’s gotten adept enough to do it by herself. She takes a long swig of wine before beginning to type.

Dear Bernie,

You, my love, are just incredible. I’ve had a good day at work today and decided it was the perfect day to open the matching envelope. You are truly correct, it has made my day even more enjoyable than it already was. 

I guess I’ll start at the beginning. I woke up having had a full nine hours sleep, I’m sure that’s the first time I’ve managed that since you’ve been gone. As Jason was on the late shift I didn’t want to wake him, so I decided to grab breakfast and coffee at Pulses, and my timing must have just been impeccable as the croissants were freshly baked just as I arrived, and smothered with a big helping of butter and black currant jam. They were just divine. (I’m hoping this isn’t making you too jealous. To help a little, I’ll send you a jar next time I send a care package over.) 

My day just got better from there. All of the F1s who were on shift turned up on time, and not a single one of them was hungover. They acted professionally and were even able to do parts of their jobs without me having to hover over them. Let’s just say my paperwork mountain is slowly looking smaller. 

Of course, the red phone didn’t behave all day, but I’m now at the point where I trusted Raf to take the first call with Jasmine. And I only jumped in on the second one because we had two patients with almost identical injuries that both needed operating on at the same time. Needless to say, both are doing well and will make a full recovery. (Don’t think that means I don’t want you back though – sharing an office with Raf isn’t as fun as sharing it with you.) 

Then I got home, and I read your letter, and if I’m not the luckiest woman alive, I don’t know who is! How fortunate I am that, even from over three thousand miles away, you are looking after me. That you want me to be the best I can be every day. That you want to hear about all the things that are happening to me whilst you are gone. I think the only thing that would make this day better would be hearing your voice, because I do miss that. I know there isn’t as much I can do to make sure your day goes well but what I will do is attach some recent pictures to this letter. 

All my love, darling

Stay safe, soldier.

Serena x

Just as she hits the send button, her phone starts buzzing. She looks down at it to realise her good day is about to become the best day. 

“Hey, you,” she says gently, smiling so wide that it’s threatening to split her face in two. 

“Hey, my love. Sorry I didn’t give you any notice before calling. I just felt like I needed to hear your voice today.” And Serena wants to say she understands but she doesn’t, not totally. Yes, she wants to hear Bernie’s voice, but she isn’t seeing what Bernie is seeing, isn’t going through what Bernie is. 

“That’s okay, I’ve just finished writing you an e-bluey actually.” They both know they aren’t officially called that anymore, but it’s so much easier to call them that when referring to them. 

“Thank you.” It’s said from under Bernie’s fringe. Serena’s fingers twitch with the urge to gently brush it out of her face but she can’t. “So how is everyone, everything?” 

Serena can’t help but study every inch of Bernie’s grainy face as she replies. “Things are good, it’s starting to get cold here now, the weather is feeling much more autumnal than It was. The trees at the spot where we go walking have turned into the most magnificent shades of oranges and reds. Actually, I attached a picture with the bluey I just wrote you.” 

“Oh, I imagine it’s beautiful, I’m glad you’re doing things for yourself while I’m gone,” Bernie says, smiling back at her. She misses seeing that smile in person, but she’ll take what she can get right now. 

“As if you’d have it any other way.” The chuckle she gets out of Bernie at that is music to her ears. “Mrs. Higgs from next door has been back in hospital though she seems to me home and on the mend again now. She told me to pass on her regards next time we spoke.”

“She’s having a poor run of it, isn’t she?” Bernie questions back. 

“She is, thank god for our brilliant NHS.” Bernie chuckles again at that and Serena would do anything to hear it all night, but she knows they don’t have that luxury. 

“What about you?” Bernie questions. “What else have you been up to?” 

Serena had been reserved about sharing this sort of thing during their first few conversations, feeling guilty for being able to talk about so much of the stuff she was doing when Bernie’s circumstances were so very different. But then Bernie had explained that she likes it, that it gives her a way of feeling closer to home. 

“Fleur and I went out for brunch on Friday, we tried a new café in town, and trust me, I’m taking you once you’re home. You’ll just love the French toast they serve. I’ve got a hair appointment booked for Thursday, my next day off. The grey is starting to show a little too much. Then the day after, I’m off to watch Elinor in her show. What about you? How’s the downtime been?

“Good, we played volleyball together earlier, though I’m not sure my back is very thankful for that right now. Oh, and your care package arrived, the sweets lasted all of five minutes, though in my defence I did share them with the rest of the team. Oh, and sorry to be a pain, but the next time you send one I’m almost certainly going to need some more deodorant,” Bernie says before yawning. Serena watches the way the corner of her eyes crinkle.

“Never! You know you can always ask me for the things you need. But now I think you need to go and get some rest, love. Isn’t it almost midnight there?” 

“It is, and you’re right, I probably do. I love you and miss you, remember that.”

“I love and miss you too, stay safe, soldier.”

And that night as she goes to sleep, Serena is the most content she's felt since Bernie went away.

[m4x-smashstappen]

Hello! I just wanna say: If you wanna step away from Lestappen, go ahead! :)).

You are far from the first person that has complained about bias in Lestappen, and sadly, you will not be the last; I'm guessing this is because both of them have such commited fanbases? I would like to hear your opinion, if you are in the mood, because it is quite clear you're very frustrated right now.

I had a similar experience with a different rpf pairing, where many fics turned on my ship in the 'last chapter' (or they never really supported my ship from the start; the red flags were there but I crossed my fingers and sailed on anyways) and they always left a very bitter taste in my mouth. It was so clear that these people were fans of the more 'popular' one of the two and always removed the other from the story somehow (made him a depressed a-hole, made him an addict, killed him in the end, the list goes ON). I was a fan of the less 'popular' one of the two, and stopped reading fics and only read fics my friends recommended because of how many fics got on my nerves.

I, to this day, have only read two Lestappen fics, because I am scared of the same sh't happening (because I know there are so many Charles fans that don't really care for Max or Lestappen, or worse, self-insert using Max). It is your decision to step away from Lestappen, I am happy for you, and I hope if you ever wanna be in the community again, you don't end up reading content from people who are so clearly biased. I also hope you kept posting on Tumblr :D.

Regards, from a Max girlie (SORRY for this entire 'Bible' worth of text)

Hi, nony!

First of all, never apologise for sending long asks or any asks at all, you are more than welcome to rant and vent to whatever length you want.

Second, I'm going to be honest with you anon, as much as I go on a tangent about things, some are pretty much set in place and unlikely to change, ever, lestappen is one of them, the genuine mutual respect and clear fondness they have for each other, nony, as long as that is there I will alway love lestappen, even in the darkest lowest point in lestappen's interactions, the famed Austria 2019 or the inchident, it was still there, yes, they were angry with and at the other, but there was still that possessiveness of 'my rival', so yeah, very much still obsessed with lestappen is me.

Though, I will take a big step back from interacting with the lestappen community. It's not the bias in this ship that bothers me that much, it's the fact that the more popular it grows the more people who have no interest in them as drivers start claiming to like lestappen so that they get readers or followers.

I can see how the Charles fans, who are almost like a...I don't know a good word for it but...the best way to explain is this: Charles has always been Ferrari and Ferrari is a religion. I am going to take a short journey to the past (reference very much intended 😆 I think I'm funny, but really, I'm not), Ferrari is the oldest team in F1 and not just F1, Ferrari has been a force in motorsports and a name associated with racing cars since the creation of this brand (watch the movie Ferrari, it explains much better than I could ever why Ferrari is so important for motorsport), coming back to F1 Ferrari is like the royal house, it's not even about them being the most successful team in F1, which they are, and having the most championships, almost double the 2nd team, it's how deeply intertwined Ferrari and Formula 1 are, to the point that there is no Formula 1 without Ferrari (speaking of, the thing that bothers me about new fans is them not looking into history and dismissing just how important Ferrari is to F1, Formula 1 is Ferrari and Ferrari is Formula 1, one should learn from history, but nope, for annoying new fans there is only the now, history is past; idiots). I think you get the picture, Ferrari is big, Ferrari is a religion, Charles being basically raised as Ferrari has a huge, devoted fanbase, so yeah his fans are very committed.

Max, on the other hand, is relatable, real, human, he is not charming, not PR trained (when I say PR trained I mean the actual final result, the careful with what they say, perfectly knowing how to play the media, how to look like a victim, what to say to look favourable, shifting blame without actually doing it, public image oriented etc, not just the PR training all drivers go through, some drivers are more or less sticking to their PR training, but mostly it's PR all way always), he is blunt, what you see is what you get with Max. He is representing a country proud of its athletes and nationalistic, but I don't think it plays any role, at least not in the lestappen dynamics (nor any tbh, there are so many, maybe more than Dutch fans, people who support Max without being from the Netherlands, but we are talking about lestappen here so). Max fans are protective of him mainly due to the immense unjust hate he has been receiving. Since he was so young when he started in F1, his honesty and bluntness weren't chiseled so it got people freely acting like Max is this arrogant pr*ck, also him not revering the Brits and calling them out, calling out the bias in this sport, it pretty much made him the main target, it also didn't help that he is incredible and the full package, talent, hard work and brains, it's so rare to have all 3 in a champion, even less in a driver, so you have the perfect person to hate in Max, envy for how good he is and the tails he steps on due to his bluntness. This made Max fans very protective of him.

So you have the totally devout Charles fans with the fiercely protective Max fans in lestappen.

I don't know if I answered your question how you expected anon, sorry about that. It comes down to why these fanbases are how they are to their favourite drivers. You could say they are committed, but I think it's a bit more complex.

Anyway, the bias in fics is due to the influx of people who are multi-shippers, and multi-drivers fans, which don't care much if at all about lestappen, writing fics about this ship for various reasons, but the one causing most conflict, so to speak, is writing because it brings readers and not actually caring about the pair.

I'm sorry you experienced that, anon. Also it is very bad writing etiquette to not put warnings, no-one gives a f*ck about your 'it spoils the plot', b*tch, it's fan fiction, not an award winning novel, put the d*mn warnings and if you have multiple ships, state which is endgame, for f*cks sake, you are no competing for a literature Nobel prize, show some sympathy to your readers.

But people are greedy and horrible, so my advice, anon, is to wait for the fic to be completed, go straight to the end/last chapter and see who ends up with whom. This way you won't have an unpleasant reading experience.

As you can see, not even the popular ships are safe, and the more popular the ship the more people who only care about having kudos, comments and many views than they ever do about the pair they write.

Funny story, when I first started reading F1 RPF, that was before Charles' pretty face graced F1, I was a multi-shipper and I read all sorts of pairs, but I did like maxiel, it was the puppy love, Max's teenage crush on older cool Daniel, it was cute. That being said, there was a tendency there to diminish Max, Daniel was the greatest and Max always needed to thank all heavens Daniel even looked his way. Anyway, the fic that ended maxiel for me was one where, long story short Max was in love, Daniel acted in love, Max tells him he loves he, Daniel doesn't say it back, Max crashes in the race and dies, Daniel some time laters meets someone else and gets married, whatever, the drop which filled the glass for me, and ended the ship, was Daniel saying at his wedding speech how he never loved Max, he didn't know what love is until he met x person he was marrying, and I was like no, done with this. Then Charles came into the picture and lestappen and I actually got it, I understood what that author meant, ironically. Maxiel was cute, puppy love, crush, but lestappen is equals, fierce, real. For me Daniel and Max as brothers or best friends in fics make so much more sense because of their close bond, even Max had a crush on Daniel and they figured out they work better as friends, that makes sense too. Lestappen is the real deal, endgame.

Moving on because this ask has turned into an encyclopaedia lengths answer 😅

I won't give up on lestappen, I'm way too obsessed with them, unhealthy amounts of obsession, but who care, I'm more the cuddly kind of obsessed anyway.

I was thinking of making a list of lestappen safe ao3 authors, but right now there are only 3 names there, maybe 5 if I stretch a little. I will start on it, but it might take some time to go through the tag.

I will not interact with anyone on tumblr tho, there are too many claiming to like lestappen because they are popular or Max is the current WDC, not to mention the multi-shippers, and I haven't figure out yet which, if there are any, blogs are lestappen.

Anon, I'm such a mess, why would you wish horror upon the max and lestappen tag with my posts 🤣😂

Still, feel free to talk to me anytime, fellow Max girlie (isn't Max so incredible, adorable, talented, smart, cutest lil duklin, delightful, sweet, bold, enchanting, brilliant, fascinating, resourceful, captivating, nicest person, a joy to watch racing, especially in the wet, he is stunning, a beast on track and a kitten outside it, our little meow-meow, the best tho, simply lovely, we have such impeccable taste 🥂)

Thank you for your kind message anon, it made my day reading it 🤗

[1337wtfomgbbq]

Okay @miafi asked me numbers for the fic ask thingy and I THOUGHT because tumblr said 'drafts' I could put it into the drafts, but then tumblr ATE the fucking post!?!?!?

Aaaaanyway, mia asked for 15, 18, 24 and 27 so here it goes.

15) How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters? It either hits me out of the blue or I'll ask a 'random song lyrics' generator for help. Sometimes I'll even get an idea for a fic or a chapter title before I even get the actually fic idea.

18) What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic? „I'm not gonna fuck you, I'm gonna make love to you.“ Said by Bjarne to Jan in 'Just a few days in Tuscany' and later also said by Jan to Bjarne. I know it's cheesy as fuck but I like it. Also the fact that I started to have Lance refer to Jan as 'his Jan'.

24) Share a moodboard for (one of) your current WIP(s). I don't actually do moodboards for my fics.

I used to do moodboards for OC projects but I'm not really doing it that much anymore either. The last OC moodboards I did were for two harry Potter OCs my sister and I came up with, Doireann and Shannon McNamara.

27) Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why? I was actually hella nervous to post 'The cats and their canary' and 'Can you handle the curves' because those two were the FIRST ever fully smut fics I ever wrote. I have OCD and it focused a lot on being 'not pure' or 'degenerate' because of having sexual thoughts. But when I wrote those fics I was finally in therapy and could get a handle on it. It also helped that I finally figured out that I was ace. Honestly, those two fics actually mean quite a lot to me. 'Happy Drunk' was my very first F1 fic I ever posted and I was so fucking scared to try this pair that had been done to absolute perfection by fearless_seas (who actually left me a comment), stelleappese and kangeiko.

[studentville-struggles]

A Double Life

Chapter 5!!

A self-indulgent Daniel Ricciardo fic.

Summary: Returning to old passions results in the start of chaos and living a double life. We say we hate chaos, but the thrill is unlike anything else.

Words: 1,941

Masterlist // Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

F1 was no joke.  

PhD’s were no joke.

You were exhausted. Exhausted didn’t even begin to cover how you felt. Were you dying? Who even knew at this point.  

One monday your legs finally gave out as you were walking into university, collapsing from the exhaustion you were fighting. Thankfully you had just made it into your building, the porters quick to call a medic. You actually ended up having to take a couple of days off of lab work and go home and just spend some time sleeping and spending time with your parents. Your supervisors were so worried for your health and the stress you had been putting yourself under they pretty much banned you from the lab for a week.  

You still did the workouts you needed to and prepped for races from home. You just did everything on more than five hours sleep. The luxury. It was so damn needed.

Speaking on the phone to Lando one night, the two of you becoming closer friends since being team mates and him checking in more frequently since finding out about you collapsing, you had been joking about how nice sleep was. 

“I used to think that being ordinary was boring. Now I’d do anything for a 10 hour nap and a chippy.”

Your little exhaustion moment had scared you a little bit. You’d always managed to do everything. You could have two intense lives and work it. You had felt that for the last three years you mastered juggling a double life. Was it finally coming to crumble around you? Was this it, was the dream over?  

You wouldn’t allow it. You couldn’t. Youd fought so hard for this, to have your cake and eat it. It was never meant to be easy and you knew that, this was just one more thing to overcome. Once you had your PhD you would be able to live any life you wanted. You might even be able to sleep seven hours a night on the regular.  

You would make this double life work for a little longer, you had to.

Having re-evaluated routines and switching things up so that you could make the most of both lives whilst still being healthy, you were feeling confident, comfortable and it was growing with each race that passed. Sure, not all of the results were what you dreamed off; after all you were yet to tip Lewis off his pedestal, but you were getting there. Getting the car to do your bidding was the first half of the challenge. Now you just needed to do that, but better than every one else on the track.

The other thing to come out of your health scare; especially after some of the drivers have commented on your less deathly appearance was an interesting change in your friendship with a certain Australian.  

Sure, you had the big change from thinking he was rude to being caught smiling at his texts, to hanging out in Australia at the start of the season. That you had kind of seen coming; but this? This was unexpected, and you weren’t quite sure what to make of it currently.

After finding out about your little incident, Daniels’ entire energy changed. He was visibly concerned about you, whether you were better now, how you were doing getting everything under control for good. His reaction to discovering the in-depth extremeness of your routine having binged watched your show – he claimed it was a curious interest to occupy his flight but you knew it was to be nosey and you didn’t mind that – was even stranger He had effectively cornered you at the paddock in China with a written out list and spluttering of expletives with the general message of “what the fuck, no wonder you're exhausted.’.  

The frequency at which you two texted and chatted was steadily rising as your friendship bloomed but after his discovery of ‘the incident’, it had sky rocketed. Both in general conversation, but also in his concern for you overdoing things. He’s started to make a point, like Lewis often does, to ensure you take a bit of time for you and to relax; so movie and game nights are now a little thing you get when you meet up for a face to face catch up.

The vibes between the two of you were shifting ever so slightly and you weren’t entirely sure where there were setting themselves.

---

You were very lucky in that your family would often come to support you, especially your mum and dad. Albeit your mum couldn’t watch half of the races due to her fear that her little girl was going to be hurt, but she was there every chance she had.  

As the season progressed and you were getting some races closer to home, you felt it was about time to invite the main group of people who were yet to see this side of you. Given the intense patience and grace they had given to you, supporting you though everything and allowing your camera crew all access; it was time to invite your boss. Well your other boss. Your supervisor.

Getting back into the swing of things at work in the lab after the Spanish Grand Prix, you felt it was finally time to give back to your lab family.

“I’d like to take you to work next week, and maybe a few others once I check numbers.” Your supervisor knew what ‘work’ meant for you but with more and more people questioning your regular three day weeks, you were starting to feel like letting your two worlds collide a little more.  

“Where is work next week? Monaco?”  

“Yup. I’ll give my media team a ring and see how many we can take including hotels and go from there”  

“Including?!”  

“Full VIP, would be rude of me not to.”  

A short phone call later, with some rough numbers figured out, you had five full VIP passes at your disposal. Given you rarely have guests at Grand Prix’ they allowed a few extra tickets this time. As one would imagine with a free weekend in Monaco, the academic staff in your research group snapped up those tickets in no time. Of course, with the amount of time spent in your offices and labs, you were safely assuming three of the five had no idea what your job was, though were very curious as to how and why it was taking you to Monaco.  

Academic life was no joke. Everyone was busy, everyone had very little free time. Watching sports was only done by super fans really. There weren’t any motorsport super fans in your office and somehow both your show and driving career had still remained unquestioned. How that was true with the camera crew still following you around, you had no idea.  

You had sent out a rough, and very vague itinerary, reminding them to be ready to leave work at 6 pm on Wednesday, heading straight to the airport. You had also sent strict dress code instructions- the smarter end of smart casual, knowing that they would likely, if not definitely, be appearing on camera.  

With some of your team meeting you at the airport, ready to get your race weekend media started, the confusion of your university colleagues was growing. It peaked as they had you film a short clip to start the weekends media off, it was only a short Instagram story, post hair touch up, to say hi to fans.  

“Hey guys, just me taking over the Instagram stories! We’ve just arrived at the airport to head over to Monaco! Can’t wait to see you guys this weekend and I’ve even brought a few colleagues from the university so you’ll be seeing my two worlds collide as well! See you soon!” Waving at the camera, you cut the video. With all thumbs up from your team, you uploaded it to your team Instagram, views piling in almost immediately.  

“Rachel what the hell do you do?!”

“Oh you’ll see soon enough, I don’t want to ruin the surprise now.” You teased, surprisingly enjoying the suspense.  

Walking up to the private jet having gone through security with ease, the shock was only increasing, though you everyone was feeling very excited for the flight now they saw the plane. Things were fairly calm after this, the journey quick, smooth and you avoided giving too much away.  

Arriving at the hotel you sent everyone off to their rooms, giving timings for meeting the next morning. You would be leaving before them to start greeting the media and doing some press conferences before your track walks, and so had arranged for a few cars to be sent for transferring the rest over to the main hub. Once they were all happy with the plans, not that you’d given many details, merely timings, you could head to your room where Daniel had snuck over waiting to reunite.  

He had many complaints about spending the evening having your catch up in a hotel when he had a perfectly good home a few minutes away. At some point during the evening, after the food had been demolished, the words said and a crappy Netflix original on the tv, the two of you had fallen asleep. When you woke a couple of hours later, you were awkwardly hunched on the sofa still, somehow having entangled yourself with Daniels body.  

Realising that it was far too late to send Daniel home, you both needed sleep if you were to survive the media day, and you couldn’t send him on his way in the small hours of the morning. Trying not to wake him too harshly, you start untangling yourself from the mess of legs. With Daniel starting to stir, you grab his hand, wordlessly pulling him from the sofa, over to the hotel bed.  

Still in the silence the middle of the night brings, Daniel shed the majority of his clothing, slipping under the covers in only his underwear, with you following soon after as you quickly change into your sleepwear.  

For something so foreign in your friendship, the ease and comfort at which you snuggled together, falling asleep again under the covers, was almost unnerving. Almost. In your sleepy state, you couldn’t recognise that, only time would reveal that.  

--

Having snuck off to begin your media day trackside, you were eager to see your lab colleague's reaction to where they were. It was as you were heading back into McLarens hospitality that you, as well as the whole group, could see the full magnitude of this job and how it differed to the Rachel they were used to seeing in the office.  

“You’re a driver?”  Shock? Disbelief? You couldn’t quite tell but the reaction was  

“Yes”

“What the fuck? But you’re in the lab like 10 hours a day”

“Now you know why I don’t have time to get things done otherwise in my three-day weeks.”

Once the shock wore off, the excitement and initial questions had settled, you set the group up with timings for the day and let them wander round the paddock freely as you headed back to your meetings, promising to see them during the lunch break.  

Having your worlds united felt good. It felt as though some of the pressure you hadn’t realised was there from keeping them separate, was melting away.  Although the feeling that was beginning to bubble away every time you bumped into Daniel was very close to being a distraction.

You needed to drive; just get in the car and block everything else out.