#as much as possible that is. bcs i will never be fully properly prepared.

[astrxealis]

hi :)) less than an hour until the ffxiv live letter :)) 6.3 trailer hahaha :))

[luneariaa]

Hi, I would like a headcanon of what Lee chaolan x fem's wedding would be like! reader

hii-!! 💜 i love the idea so much,, and i apologize if there's any mistakes since this is my first time writing for Lee!

(o´▽`o) 💜💐 ( and the amount of fics + hcs of him here is criminally low ).

. dividers by @/saradika-graphics and @/cafekitsune ! 🦄

-`✧´- wedding headcanons.

you know you won in life when lee decided to marry and take you as his wife, since marriage is quite a serious and a big thing to him. he is ready to fully commit himself to you.

that's when you know how sincere he is regarding that specific topic.

he would be SUPER loyal to you and change some of his ways FOR YOU.

not his charm and playfulness though like never- it stays.

he'll treat you like his only queen 10000%.

you knew that he's going to be the one for you since he decided to take a step forward with you-- especially when proposing for marriage.

anyway, i just know for sure that the wedding day would be SOOO grand! like the guests list would be endless, and he's not afraid to flaunt everything off ( in a good way perhaps! )

he would pick the BEST wedding dress for you, which obviously would be pricey as heck; made by a well-known designer and brand of your choice if you have any.

he wouldn't mind spending lots of money and possibly going broke for you ( which means never, cuz he got that unlimited money bank going on so he would happily spend lots on you lmao ).

also omg let's talk about the meals-- they would def be those high, first class type of meals being prepared there.

and i personally think that lee would want the wedding to be held with a whole grand hall being rented on, or just within his already large, luxurious mansion.

atp knowing how he is, he probably would want to do the whole wedding venue two times-- bc he's THAT guy.

also, alisa and xiaoyu gonna be your bridesmaids bc the idea is just too cute to me <33

lars and jin gonna be his ( jin mainly joins bc of xiaoyu's convincing lmao ).

claudio might be one of those chefs and waiters ( just wanna add him hh- )

overall, lee is gonna admire and cherish you a LOT nonetheless of where you both decided to marry. he's just happy to be able to properly claim you and finally call you his wife to the whole world <33 !!

and and i just thought that he probably would rent a whole island or like, take you to travel other countries during your honeymoon phase with him; entirely your pick, he wouldn't mind.

i got carried away hhh i hope you liked this! <333

@luneariaa. do not repost; reblogs are alright. all rights reserved.

[seokjinsonlyone]

this is how i think it’d go if you went to visit bts at work and gave them a little peck on the lips

namjoon:

you’d probably walk into his studio and he’d be at his desk headphones in playing back some beat or revising some lyrics

you’d come up behind him and wrap your arms around his neck effectively stealing his attention away from the track

and that’s when you’d place a nice little peck on his lips

but that wouldn’t be enough for him so before you could even fully break apart he’d already be chasing your lips

he’d roll his chair around to properly face you placing one hand at the back of your neck bringing you back to him immediately slipping his tongue in your mouth

what once was a cute little greeting turned into a sensual experience as he gently massaged your tongue with his

and when he felt like he had his fill of you for the time being he pulled back, smiling, dimples on full display and said “hey, baby.”

the depth of his voice would send shivers down your spine and you would settle into his lap wrapping your arms around his neck picking up where he left off just bc he was done didn’t mean you were

seokjin:

you’d probably end up at hybe headquarters after seokjin called you when he was done with his day to get dinner together

you’d call him to let him know you’re outside and within a minute he’d be in your car

you’d lean over the center console to give him a peck to which he’d immediately complain

“woooowww i’ve been at work all day and that’s all i get”

you’d swallow down the urge to tell him that he not the only one that work in favor of rolling your eyes and pressing your lips to his again for a little longer

that wouldn’t be enough for him though “just one more,” he’d request.

“one more.”

“one more.”

he knew that asking for a kiss from you was a dangerous game

could feel it in the way he melted against you

could tell by the way he seriously thought about giving you one of his rolex watches you jokingly said you’d steal and sell

or one of his cars you said you’d steal and sell

thought about giving you the world just for one more kiss

yoongi:

with yoongi you’d probably enter his studio (he’s always in the studio) with the code he gave you

which the fact that you were the only one other than himself that had the code did inexplicable things to your heart you couldn’t really delve into without feeling like you were gonna explode

anyway you’d walk in the room and he already knew it was you like you said you were the only other one who could freely enter and he’d be at his monitor doing whatever producers do

“hey just gimme one sec”

and you knew how that one went sometimes it was actually just a few seconds sometimes it was a few hours until you had his attention but you didn’t mind you ain’t have anything else to do just wanted some company

you didn’t wanna disturb him too much but you couldn’t help yourself so you walked to him turned his head to face you and quickly kissed him before recoiling to the couch a few feet away

10-15 minutes later he was summoning you over to him, pulling you into his lap, and using his thumb and index finger to trap your chin bringing your lips back to his for a proper kiss

you sighed contentedly afterwards laying your head on top of his as he wrapped his arms around your waist, showing you what he was working on

hoseok:

hobi was usually a super organized person liked for everything to have a place and everything to be in that place

but you were his little chaos and organization was definitely not his top priority when he was with you taking second place to soaking up every ounce of your presence in whichever way you would allow him

so really it was no surprise when he texted you asking if you’d seen his little notebook where he wrote his lyrics and whatever other ideas or thoughts popped into his head

it took a bit of searching to find but you had it and he was very fortunate you liked him it was the only reason you were willing to drop it off before work

you made sure to let him know he was the reason you looked ugly today the trip to his office severely cutting your usual routine and he made sure to let you know that a) you were beautiful no matter what and b) he would make it up to you

it was only your second time at the new building your first time was when he invited you along for their first look at the hybe insight museum so it was safe to say you had absolutely no idea where you were going despite the detailed instructions one of the staff gave you upon entry if you hadn’t run into taehyun you probably would’ve been running around that building for another hour

you were thoroughly unamused with the situation but hobi looked so cute and sheepish when you entered the practice room wrapping his arms around you immediately alternating between expressing his gratitude and regretfulness that you couldn’t help but press a small kiss to his mouth

an action you instantly regretted bc a) it caused him to start pressing kisses all over your face in return b) it caused an eruption of various forms of shouting from the six other boys you failed to notice upon entry

you pushed at his chest as heat flooded your body from embarrassment preparing to leave you were going to be late for work “be good” you told him personally before shouting “have fun!” at the other members

jimin:

your days off hardly coincided with jimin’s days off mostly bc he never really had days off always had to go in for one thing or another

but his days weren’t always jam packed some days like today he had a meeting in the morning and a meeting in the evening and not much else to do besides that

and he was the absolute worst at entertaining himself always needed to find someone else’s business to get into and as the object of his affection you were always his first choice

he tried not to bother you too much when you were busy though no matter how clingy he was and he was awfully clingy

if you two weren’t able to be joined at the hip in your free time you were definitely on the phone and if he wasn’t the object of your affection as well you would’ve started ignoring him a long time ago as it stands he was the best company

anyway he knew you were off today and had no plans other than finding a new anime to start so naturally when he found himself bored out of his mind he was in your ear purring down the line for you to come to him

it didn’t take too much convincing your attention span wasn’t on your side so you couldn’t really get into anything and even though you literally saw jimin yesterday you missed him :\

it’s why you didn’t hesitate to land a peck on his lips upon meeting him again and latching onto his arm firmly as he led you to one of the small practice rooms they had

“so tell me about your day”

you looked him over suspiciously he had that mischievous glint in his eye so you knew he was up to something

and you were right you weren’t more than two sentences in to your answer before he was pressing his lips to yours in a long lingering kiss

“i’m sorry continue”

“um...” your attention span really wasn’t with you and it was hard to retrace your train of thought with your lips tingling and the hairs on the back of your neck raised

you eventually found your mental footing and continued speaking about your day which had more or less turned into you ranting about haikyuu when again mid sentence he captured your lips between his own one hand tracing up and down your spine while the other held your head into place so he could lick into your mouth just the way he liked

“go on” he panted slightly breathless once you finally broke apart

“jimin...” you whined

he giggled at his own antics loved riling you up found it so cute how you couldn’t even try to keep the dreamy look off your face “you like me so much don’t you?” he asked with a self assured grin etched onto his face

you did

taehyung:

sometimes he felt so sorry to you hated cancelling on you because something came up or another thing ran over time

you were always cool with it tho never made a huge fuss of it which he was forever grateful for bc he really did love his job

but he really loved you too

he had to cancel three separate times just this week alone and he was missing you something bad

and even though he really wanted to take you out and do something nice for you like you deserved at this point he just wanted to see you

missed seeing you in person and having you in his arms

that’s how you found yourself on a bench tucked into a quiet corner of the upper garden at a table chairs side by side his hands toying with yours as you caught him up on your week so far

he was kinda obsessed with you and you loved it because having his undivided attention felt so so good

so you couldn’t help but close the gap, briefly pressing your lips to his

the slight blush that took over his cheeks had an insane amount of serotonin flooding your brain you loved him so much

even more so when he surpassed his bout of shyness and unabashedly brought you closer to him and attempted to make up for a week’s worth of lost kisses

jungkook:

sometimes life got busy for the both of you and even though you meant to meet up it just didn’t happen

but once you finished your work week you made it your mission to see him as soon as possible

you’d texted him when you got off and he told you he was finishing vocal practice then going to workout which left you with enough time to stop home and freshen up before he was done

as expected his trainer told you he was in the shower when you popped up so you decided to wait in the hallway for him to come out

“heeeeey what are you doing here”

you looked up from your phone to see your slightly damp very buff boyfriend grinning down at you

almost instantly you were hugging him arms wrapped around his waist before pulling back slightly pecking him on the lips

which set something off inside jungkook a shock ran down his body just from the feeling of your lips pressed against his

“let’s hang out” you agreed immediately “i just need to grab something from my studio first”

he laced your hands together dragging you alongside him and as soon as you entered the room he had you pinned against the door hands on your hips kissing you with far greater ferocity than you could have anticipated

and it’s like jungkook knew he missed you but he didn’t realize just how much until he had you in his arms your lips on his

kissing you felt like home and his introverted self never wanted to leave the house couldn’t even help the groan that escaped the back of his throat as you took control of the kiss and made a mental note to remember to never deprive himself of this pleasure again

one of his hands slid down your thigh lifting your leg until you got the hint to wrap both of them around his waist allowing him to show off his strength and grope you at the same time

“jk,” you said breathlessly, breaking the kiss

his lips were chasing yours the second you broke contact he didn’t care about breathing when a fire was spreading through his body

you indulged him for a few more seconds before breaking apart again

this time his lips traveled down your neck kissing and sucking until you were making the prettiest sounds for him

you felt like you were going to explode his hands were squeezing your butt and his lips were on your neck and you were going to explode

“jk...” you whined again tugging lightly at the hair on the nape of his neck

he made his way back up your neck pressing a hard kiss on your cheek before gently nudging your nose with his “hmmm?”

and suddenly you were staring directly into his eyes big and pretty and filled with stars shining just for you

you were going to explode “let’s get out of here”

[harrywritingsbyme]

The one where Harry plays with Y/n

Based Off Of This Ask

And This One

A/N: I couldn’t come up with a decent title or end it properly, but here’s something filthy for ya! I even sprinkled a little bit of Italy Harry and Smaller!reader in it too bc why not😌!! And I’m sorry that it’s super late, it took me a lot longer than usual to write this time. Enjoy🙃

If Harry had to pick one thing he loved doing to you, he’d choose edging you. He loved the idea of pushing you right to the brink of a mind-blowing orgasm just to stop and not carry it through. He loved hearing your desperate and incessant cries out to him, begging and pleading for him to follow through and allow you to let go. He also loved listening to the sound of your voice as you cried and begged for him to let you cum. And he couldn’t get enough of seeing your body thrash and quake before him as you took in the bits of pleasure that he was giving you.

To sum it all up, Harry loved the power that came along with controlling your pleasure. There was something else though that was apart of this power that Harry enjoyed as well. For some reason, Harry had a bit of a thing for making you squirm and blush. 

Given the fact that he could practically read right through you, Harry knew exactly how you were feeling most of the time and he knew just what to say in order to invoke a bashful, borderline embarrassed reaction. It’s not that he wanted to make you feel bad or make you think that the way you were feeling was wrong, he just liked to hear and see you admit to how you were feeling. There was never a time where Harry didn’t want to know what you wanted. He absolutely loved hearing from your mouth what you wanted him to do to you. It didn’t help that when he uncovered your feelings you would get all blushy and cute in the process.

Now Harry’s love and enjoyment for these two things was already at a high under any normal circumstance. But when he fell a little bit deeper into his domspace, his need to have that power and make you blush became even more pronounced. They became his only two goals. He wanted to have complete control over your pleasure, and he wanted to make you squirm.

And today was just one of those days where he had those two goals in mind. He planned on doing it as best and as much as he possibly could. If there was any room for him to pleasure you or embarrass you a little, he was going to do it. 

Harry couldn’t put a finger on what exactly triggered or pushed him a bit more into the depths his domspace as a whole but as you two were talking and making your plans for the day, a wave so to speak came over him that caused him to become more in tune with the mindset and goals of controlling your pleasure and making you a squirming (and a little embarrassed) mess. Since you were so determined to go out, shop and explore the streets of Rome (even though you’d already traveled to and seen a lot Italy, including this part with Harry on numerous occasions), Harry decided to use this as an ultimatum to fulfill and “complete” his goals. While the two of you were lying completely naked in bed, Harry gave you an ultimatum.

“If you let me fill you up and fuck you with my cock twice before we leave, I’ll let you do whatever you want for the day. You can choose what we do, where we eat, everything; as long as I pound into you twice. Can you do that?” Harry whispers calmly. You could already feel a healthy bit of arousal forming between your legs at his statement, and you were never one to turn down a good pounding from Harry so there wasn’t much of a pause between Harry’s ultimatum and your compliance. There was also a pretty small window in-between the time you agreed to his proposal and him pushing you onto your back and moving between your legs. When you two went to sleep last night, you were filled to the brim with Harry’s cock. But while you two were talking and making plans, you pulled yourself off of his cock and turned yourself over to look at him while you two spoke. So Harry was almost desperate to push his cock back into you. Once he’s between your legs he wraps a hand around your calf and he tugs (more like flips) you over onto your stomach. He wastes no time gripping onto and pushing your ass apart before sinking into you. The both of you guys’ moans fill the entire room. He continuously slams into you from behind, stopping every once in a while to hear you whine for him to help going and watch you try to push back against him. After countless deep and sharp thrusts with many wanton and loud moans and shouts in between, you and Harry finally reach your breaking points. After your first and very climactic releases of the day, the two of you lay in bed next to each other for a good while. Both you and Harry (especially you) were trying your hardest to piece together your very much fragmented composure.

Once you and Harry can feel most of your bodies again, the two of you get up and hop in the shower together. This was the first time in a while that you weren’t either pressed against the wall or on your knees in the shower. Instead, the two of shared a few soft and sweet kisses here and there while you got each other clean. The rest of the morning and a very early portion of the afternoon is spent getting ready with little to no advances from Harry. The most you got out of him was a very adamant suggestion on what panties you were going to wear. And in the end, he got what he wanted. He was able to get you into the lacy, barely panties he was dying to get you in. For the rest of the time before going out, you’re anxiously (in a good way) waiting for the second time Harry’d push into you again. While you were looking forward to and waiting for the second time, Harry was watching you wait. He was watching your every move. While he prepared a little something for you two, he watched you from across the counter move around in your chair. He could tell that you were expecting and dying for him to take you one last time before the two of you left the house. Seeing you a bit uneasy and unsure of when he was going to touch you again did get Harry riled back up. After eating and talking a little bit, it was time for you to leave. Which meant that it was also time for your long and much awaited second time with Harry. 

“Ready f’me to take you again baby?” Harry asks as he rounds the counter towards you.

“Mhm.” You readily reply back. When you pick yourself up from your chair, you’re pressed right up against Harry’s front. Instead of responding, Harry swiftly picks you up and carries you both to the living room. He drops you down onto the couch and lifts one of your legs up onto the back of the couch so that your legs are spread for him. He then kneels on the couch between your legs and bunches your dress further up your waist, exposing your dampening panties. 

“You were waiting for daddy’s cock huh?” Harry teases, pushing his finger through the crotch of your panties and pulling them to the side to reveal your glistening folds.

“Mhm” you sigh feeling one of his fingers push up your folds to collect some of your arousal. 

“Well you don’t have to wait any longer sweet girl.” Harry hums before pulling his hands from between your legs and standing up to undo his pants. Harry manages to kick his pants and shoes off in one swift motion before moving back on top of you. “Ready?” He asks quickly, bringing his hand down to line his cock up with your entrance again. To respond to his question, you wrap your arms around his neck and you pull his lips down to yours. When you do this, you feel him begin to push into you. As he does this, yours and Harry’s moans into each others mouths get louder and your grip on each other gets tighter. Even though it was only two and a half almost three hours ago, you both missed the feeling of being around each other like this. Once he’s fully inside of you, Harry tightens his grip around your hips and he begins to quickly crash his hips down into yours. You were still a bit sensitive from round one so this time you could really feel every last thing; and it felt beyond amazing. It felt so good that you managed to bring your leg down from the back of the couch and wrap both of them around Harry’s lower back. As he continued to move inside you, Harry’s mouth began to move down your neck. You could feel him bite at your skin a little then harshly suck on it, which would allow for a small bruise to form on your neck. When you thought he couldn’t get any deeper than he was in that moment, Harry managed to prove you wrong. He releases one of your hips and uses his now free hand to push himself with you in his arms up so that you were sitting in his lap. Being in this position meant that Harry was able to fully control the way your body moved against his cock. Both of his hands go back to your hips and he begins to quickly move your body up and down on his cock. He’d pull you up, just to slam you back down and and keep you down so long that you could feel him tightly pressing into the deepest part of you. He’d even push your body in an almost circular formation so that the coarse hairs around his cock would brush up against your clit. As he continues to do this, you can feel your second release of the day speeding towards you. And so does Harry. He pulls his head up from your shoulder and looks you right in the eye.

“Want you to cum f’me baby, cum ‘round my cock.” Harry pants, lifting himself up from his kneeling position to lay you back down against the couch. After a few more thrusts, you let yourself go around him and he was right behind you. This one was a bit heavier then the last. He poured so much more of himself into you this time. Once he’s caught his breath, Harry begins to slowly pull out of you. That is, not before telling you to tighten up as much as possible so that his cum would stay inside of you. Once he’s completely out of you, he pulls your panties back over to cover you before giving you a couple soft taps over them. “Still wanna go out.” Harry asks, making sure that you were still up for it since you looked pretty out of it.

“Yeah.” You croak out to him. “Just need a minuet because my legs are all tingly.” You continue, trying to move your legs that fell from Harry’s waist and down to either side of him. You weren’t going to let a second round of amazing sex stop you from having a nice day out.

“Well take your time, need t’put my pants and shoes back on.” Harry agrees, giving your thighs a squeeze before lifting himself up from between your legs. He tugs your dress down to cover you back up before moving to the other end of the couch to work on redressing himself. Once he’s dressed again, and you’ve had a little time to regroup, Harry’s helping you up from where you were laying, fixing your hair a little, and moving your both out the door. 

From the outside, it looked like you and Harry were just a couple in love. And you two were! It’s just that as he was placing those kisses below your ear and letting you know how pretty you were, he was also telling you how you looked like a much cuter version of Bambi as you walked on your wobbly legs and that he couldn’t wait to take those now completely ruined panties off of you later on tonight. This was only a little bit of what he did though. When you two were in a more secluded area of a shop you went into, Harry would push his hand up the back of your dress and grab the flesh of your ass in his hand. This would cause you to let out a little squeal, which would lead to the workers in the store to look at you sideways. And all Harry would do in that moment is chuckle at your little outburst, sponge his lips against your warm cheek, and tell you that it wasn’t nice to hit daddy when when you’d shove his hand from underneath your dress. When you two sat down to try out this new restaurant you both found in the area, Harry’s hand conveniently found it’s way underneath your dress. The fact that there were long white tablecloths covering the tables, along with the not as crowded area of the restaurant you two were in (thanks to Harry of course) meant that Harry’s actions went unnoticed. You were bracing yourself to feel his fingers pushing into your panties and touching you. But all he did was squeeze and pinch at your thighs, and seldomly he’d run a finger up the front of your panties. This continued throughout the entirety of you guys’ meal. It was really difficult to keep yourself together. You had Harry touching you constantly, and you had the task of trying to keep his cum from pouring down your legs. 

After a couple hours of wandering around the different streets, some shopping here and there, and now dinner, the both of you come to a consensus that it was time to retire and head back home. The two of you made it back home just in time to watch the sunset. You and Harry had an amazing view from the balcony right off of your bedroom so the both of you climb the stairs to your shared room and he picks up the book that he was currently reading from the nightstand and he pulls you both out onto the balcony. He sits down in one of the two cushioned chairs that were out there and he taps his thigh for you to sit on his lap. Instead of sitting sideways so that you can watch the sunset, you straddle him instead, wrapping your arms around his back and burrowing your head into his chest.

“Don’t wanna watch the sunset baby?” He asks as he flips to the page where he left off the night before.

“Wanna cuddle.” You mumble into his shoulder. 

“Alrighty, I’ll read out loud for you then.” Harry concedes before getting into the book.

Now you didn’t know why, but while Harry was reading, your clit began to tingle a lot. You didn’t know if it was from you and your panties being flooded with his his cum, pent up arousal from his constant teasing earlier, or if it was from the sound of his voice as he read. Either way, it caused you to shift your self over so that most of your weight was on one of Harry’s legs and begin to not so subtly push yourself back and forth against him. 

“Is your pretty little peach soaking wet for daddy again sweet girl?” Harry asks, stopping his reading from the book to address your movements.

“No m’not.” You deny his claim, stopping in your tracks when he realizes what you’re doing. 

“Then why are you rubbin’ against me?” When there’s silence, Harry places his folds the corner of the page where he left off, closes the book, and picks you both up from the chair. He carries you two back into the bedroom where he sits the book down onto the nightstand. He then loosens his once tight grip on you, causing you to slip out of his grasp and onto the bed. From the time you’re lying on the bed Harry says nothing to you. All he does is undress you both, leaving him completely naked, and you completely naked except for your panties. Since you wanted to not tell him the truth, Harry was going to not only embarrass you a little, he planned on taking complete control over your pleasure and make you suffer a little bit. 

Before lying on the bed between your legs, Harry hooks his fingers around the sides of your panties and pulls them down your legs. As he does this, he watches as the strings of your arousal extend from your cunt to your panties as he pulls them off of you. Once they’re fully off of your body, Harry brings them up to eye level and he inspects them. 

“This looks like soaking wet to me.” Harry points out with a chuckle, looking right at the damp lace in his hands. When he looks down at you, he can see you biting your lip and fidgeting around a little bit at this. “Now open that pretty mouth f’me.” Harry instructs as he dangles your panties from his index finger. You knew that you were going to get a little bit of a punishment for not telling the truth, so you were going to follow every one of his instructions. As soon as your mouth opens, Harry brings his hand closer to your face and he lowers the panties into your mouth. When he does this, you can taste the mixture of his cum and your arousal. Once they’re in your mouth, Harry lies between your legs and wastes no time attaching his mouth onto you. You could feel his tongue gliding up and down your folds, lapping up all of your arousal and his cum. Even though your cries were muffled because of your panties, they were still loud. And music to Harry’s ears. The sounds you were making, along with the way you tasted was heavenly to him and it only fueled his fire even more. When he started to moan against you as he used his tongue to prod at your entrance, you could feel yourself getting closer to the edge. He could even feel your weepy hole begin to clench up, signaling to him that you were really close to the edge. At this, Harry pulls his mouth away. Resulting in you whimpering through your panties. “Aww, my little baby got her orgasm ruined?” Harry coos, bringing his thumb up to circle your clit. “Poor girl.” Harry chuckles before bringing two fingers down to your entrance. When he waits to push them in, he watches as your hips lift a little to push them in yourself. This causes Harry to let out a little laugh before finally pushing them into you. The feeling of having something inside of you, even if it was just his fingers results in a loud and relieved moan. As he thrusts them into you, Harry makes sure to alternate speeds. At some points he was going really fast, thrusting them into you at full speed and curling them up into your sweet spot. And at other points, he slowed his fingers down, shallowly thrusting them into you and neglecting your sweet spot. When he felt your walls tighten around his fingers, he pulls them from you. Ruining yet again, another orgasm and driving you completely insane. 

The only tactic he had to left prolong the time before he allowed you to cum was his cock. So he lifts himself up between your legs and positions himself on top of you. When he looks down at your face he can your mouth stuffed with your panties and your watery eyes. He then  plucks the panties from your mouth and tosses them off to the side. 

“Now have you learned your lesson baby?” Harry asks.

“Yes daddy.” You whisper back. 

“And what is that?”

“Not to lie to daddy.” You recite back to him, making sure to look him right in the eye as you say it.

“Good girl.” Harry praises. “Now, before you get to cum, daddy has to cum.” Harry continues. “Understood?”

“Yes daddy.”

Once you reply, Harry wraps his hand around his hard cock and gives himself a couple tugs. When he felt you rubbing against his thigh outside, his cock plumped up a bit. Then when he saw your panties and was between your legs, he got even harder. So by now, Harry was fully hard and ready to push back into you for the third time today. Luckily for you, Harry was really turned on at the sight of you being desperate to cum. So it wasn’t going to take long for him to reach the point of letting go. To not delay things any longer, Harry lines himself up with your entrance and pushes into you.

“Oh my god.” You whimper at the feeling of him entering you. Hearing this and seeing your face contort prompted a wide smirk to spread across his face. This was the third time he pushed into you today and he still managed to get that reaction out of you. Even though he was supposed to be punishing you a little bit, seeing you react like this made him want to make you cum really hard. He then presses one hand on your lower stomach and he begins to thrust into you. The both of you were moaning messes. This would be both you and Harry’s third release of the day and you sensitivity was through the roof. He way he was continuously hitting that sweet spot inside of you with every thrust was driving you mad.

“Feel me in y’tummy sweet girl?” Harry pants through the moans that were falling from his mouth. You couldn’t verbally respond to him because he felt so good that you could barely speak. But you were able to lift your hand and drop it right onto of his that was pressing into your stomach. 

As he continued to thrust into you, Harry became a little dizzy. You were squeezing him so tight, tying to hold back like he instructed you to do. You were tightening up so much around him that he had to put in a little more effort to push himself in and out of you. When he felt himself getting extremely close to the edge, Harry finally let you cum. 

“Cum with me baby!” Harry shouts before pushing into you one more time. That thrust pushed you both right over the edge. This time around the both of you released every drop of yourselves that you had left, leaving you two in a heaping pile of exhaustion. After pulling out of you, Harry collapses onto the bed next to you. 

“You did so good today baby. You came three times!” Harry praises, slowly turning himself onto his side so that he could get a better look at you.

“Yeah, and now I can’t feel my body.” You sigh with a slight pout. You weren’t complaining, it was just that the numb feeling was a little weird for you. 

“Wanna take a bath? We can cuddle afterwards.” Harry whispers to you, reaching over to cup your sticky cheek. 

“Please?” 

Masterlist

[olivinesea]

In the Golden Dark

a/n: Having never done any ship writing before I’m just going to jump feet first into the deep end with a little Hotchreid for you today. It’s nice. No warnings except maybe some angst because we are who we are. Probably the softest thing you will see from me so enjoy the moment. Completely unnecessary disclaimer that I would find this relationship wildly inappropriate in real life but thank god we’re out here in the lawless fiction of the internet. And you’re getting full on song lyrics bc Hotchreid is nothing if not decadent af. There’s more but I’m impatient so here’s the first bit. ~ 2.7k

what the hell am I doing here in the golden dark? feeling like I’m someone else who looks the part I built up barricades to block my heart cause I don’t wanna fear you

He leaned back in his chair, reaching his arms up and clasping his hands behind his head, arching his back slightly. With his eyes closed it could be any time of day. He inhaled deeply and pretended for a moment that he was nowhere. He even gave himself a few extra seconds, indulging in the quiet that was the office at night. If only he could feel so peaceful in the right moments—before sleeping perhaps. When he opened his eyes all he could see was the reflection of his office light in the black windows. There hadn’t been daylight for hours. He’d switched off the overhead lights in favor of the small desk lamp that pooled the light only in the area of immediate relevance. Everything beyond its reach faded in and out of existence as his focus fell deeply into the forms in front of him.

He pressed his elbows back as far as they would go, pulling up slightly on the base of his skull, stretching out a day’s worth of stress, countless hours spent bent over report after report. He never could have imagined that saving people would require so much paperwork. Reducing the chaos of the lived experience, the searches and the takedowns, the intricate patterns of dozens of personalities layering choices upon one another; it turned out to be quite difficult to do. It took him hours to wrap up cases, even with everyone doing most of their own reports. Which, through no fault of their own, wasn’t always the case. He usually ended up siphoning off a fair number of those reports in addition to his own.

He didn’t mind, he needed to go over everything, needed to make sure that any possible negative feedback that came back would fall to him and he would be prepared if it did. His team were his responsibility, he would be neglecting his duties if he didn’t ensure that things were handled properly. None of them needed the headache of administrative errors. He was good with details, good with forms, good with protocol. He would happily be the filter that saved them all the trouble of little errors even if it hadn’t been part of his job.

But that didn’t change the fact that it was eleven o’clock on a Wednesday and everyone else had gone home hours ago. Only the late night janitorial staff wandered in and out occasionally, nodding at him in silent greeting as they reset the offices to give the illusion of an endlessly renewable supply of fresh starts. People that didn’t stay late never gave this transformation a second thought. They left the office with full trashcans and small debris scattered on the old carpets, only to return the next morning to find a place untouched by human presence, metal fixtures shining and glass doors free of oily fingerprints. That was just how the world worked for them, generous with new beginnings. People who lingered knew better, that effort was put into the effect. Beginnings were never easy, never flowed so inevitably as the set and rise of the sun.

Hotch had been working late for many years, long before he was even in the BAU. He had learned in law school how to brew the coffee strong enough to stay up all night if need be. How the indoor lighting changed without the support of daylight, tinting the world a thin sickly green color without the natural light to round out the fluorescence. He only got worse about it once he joined the Bureau, the stress of the job causing old habits and old secrets to float to the surface. He compensated by working the hardest, doing the most, never allowing anyone to see him need things that other people needed. He could handle this job, this was all he ever wanted after all. To save the world. Or maybe, more modestly, to save the world of a few.

Now, with Haley gone, Jack with her, somewhere well out of his disastrous reach, there was no reason at all not to fully give in. No reason not to let his insomnia at least be productive. To let the latent self destruction that fueled his actions at least have a positive impact on the people he cared about. He could do that at least.

He rubbed his face with his hands, he was getting loopy. There was no reason to be letting his mind wander so far, there were still reports he could get through. Perhaps, as unlikely as the idea felt, he could even get ahead. He looked back down at the paperwork, letting his feet settle flat on the floor. The letters swam in front of him and he sighed, rolling his pen beneath his thumb, considering. He could probably make it another hour. He could get another pot of coffee into himself. He cast about for his mug, finding it empty on the shelf behind him. He sometimes kept it there to prevent his reports from acquiring telltale dark rings. Rolling back from the desk, he hooked the handle with two fingers and headed out to the kitchenette.

Wrapped up in making plans for what he could finish tonight and what could be left for the morning he was startled to find a light still on in the bullpen. He was certain everyone had gone home long ago. They’d each passed by his office, offering him an out as they made their ways home��perhaps their exit could be the motivation he needed to break out of his office, to head towards his own home. What they didn’t realize was that home was not better for him. Work was far better, far safer, with tasks to complete, a purpose. If he was smart he would stay at work forever.

So he waved to them as they checked out, giving them small smiles that, though imperceptible to strangers, they recognized as both apologies and well-wishes. He knew they worried, that they didn’t like to see him tied to his desk late into the night. They thought it was one of his many methods for making himself suffer but he didn’t have the heart to tell them that this was him making a good decision, this was him trying his very best. In his experience, nothing good happened at home.

He thought he remembered everyone leaving, each goodbye. But every day was the same and they all bled together so he must have missed one because he cannot deny the light down below. As he walked down the stairs, confused by the discovery that he was not as alone as he had been imagining, his tired vision focused better. He could make out dark blond curls and a darker sweater hunched over the desk in the middle of the room.

“Reid?” The name came out as a croak, he hadn’t spoken in hours and probably hadn’t had any water in that time period either. He cleared his throat and said it again, louder and closer to the other man than before. Reid’s head snapped up, expression as guilty as a child caught out of bed.

“S-sorry,” he stuttered, eyes wide.

Hotch frowned, not because he was upset but because he was still a little disoriented and his muscles fell back into the most familiar actions.

“I—“ Reid ducked his head and started pushing papers together on his desk, shoving them haphazardly into a file folder. “I was just…” he trailed off, not really having intended on explaining himself. He was simply also startled and reverting to the familiar.

Reid explained compulsively, able to handle the world when parsed down to facts and numbers. He didn’t have a fact for why he had stayed so late, only a feeling and that he didn’t know how to explain. Nights had been particularly lonely recently so he had allowed himself to stay later and later, getting lost in his thoughts at his work desk. Even without people around there was a sense of occupancy, their faint impressions lingering in the air. Plus there was always Hotch up in his office. He didn’t actively think about him or what he was doing but he liked knowing the man was nearby. Hotch’s solid presence always made him feel more secure, less concerned with whatever might jump out at him from the shadows overlapping the world and his mind.

He couldn’t tell Hotch that, was far too embarrassed to admit that sometimes, even with all the lights on, it was too dark in his apartment. No matter the illumination, he couldn’t quite dispel the unease of the night when he was alone. It wasn’t always like this, sometimes he had enough brightness to spare. Recently, however, things had been hard. So much had been going on, he couldn’t quite pinpoint why but he knew he felt uneasy. Too much had changed, there was too much risk that the floor could still fall out beneath him at any moment. And it hadn’t been so long since he’d escaped the consequences of his kidnapping, his addiction, that he trusted himself to be able to manage too much more uncertainty. Backsliding was always a risk and right now the world tilted at a frightening grade. So he let himself stay late in the safety of familiarity, sometimes working but more often not, idly rereading the books he had brought in and forgotten around the office. Tonight he had actually started to doze off, which contributed to his shock upon being discovered.

Hotch continued to frown at him, watching as the thoughts raced across Spencer’s face. He noticed how deep the shadows were beneath his eyes, the way darkness pooled in the space below his cheekbones, as if they were concave impressions filled by seawater. He knew Spencer didn’t eat enough, was all too familiar with the ways too much coffee and not enough calories pinched the skin and exposed the fine lines of capillaries beneath the surface.

“Sorry,” Spencer repeated.

He looked genuinely ashamed and it made Hotch a little sad. Couldn’t Spencer see that he was just as guilty of whatever it was he thought he was doing wrong by being here? He made a conscious effort to soften his expression, to show the warmth he felt for the younger man. After having spent his entire life masking his emotions, protecting himself one of the only ways he could, it wasn’t always easy to show his affection. Especially not at this time of night, when all he could do was cling to his walls and hope to find himself still on solid ground when the sun rose. Spencer wasn’t looking at him, too caught up in his own maze.

“Let’s go get something to eat,” Hotch said, trying a different tactic. He was smart, he knew not to make it a demand or a comment on Spencer’s health. It was only an invitation, firm enough for Spencer to know he meant it, that it was not just a pleasantry or an obligation he’d rather avoid. A hand extended, an offer of easy company to pass through a little more of this unwanted time. Spencer looked up from where his fingers were worrying at the corner of the file in front of him and smiled shyly. Hotch smiled back, a real smile that scrunched up his dark shining eyes.

“Give me five minutes to close up,” he said and turned back toward his office. As he packed his briefcase, his heart felt like it had been wrapped in a soft blanket. He didn’t bother questioning it—who didn’t like finding someone to commiserate with when they’d only expected more of the lonely dark?

*

Their late night meals became a regular occurrence. Not every night but once, maybe twice a week, they found themselves the last ones in the office. They fell into a rhythm, each learning to read more from the other’s subtle cues. They almost always went to the same place, a 24-hour diner near the office with deceptively strong coffee and a seemingly endless variety of pancakes. Hotch rarely ordered food, though he encouraged Reid to get anything he wanted. He accepted bites of whatever the younger man ordered, happy enough to reciprocate the excitement over strawberry rhubarb or cinnamon blueberry pancakes.

They talked about inconsequential things, mostly Hotch listening as Reid spun out information on whatever topic was on his mind that day. Reid, for his part, made mental note of the things Hotch responded to and had opinions on. Spencer sought out more information in that vein to bring up. He loved to talk, sure, but what he loved more was to discuss. During the day there was rarely time to let his thoughts wander so freely. It was a dream to have someone there, following along and challenging him with questions, building up new conclusions.

On the nights that followed difficult days, when they were both too stubborn to order anything of substance, they drank their coffees and avoided looking at each other too directly. Those nights they were both tied up in their own thoughts, islands separated by more than just distance, but there was something undeniably pulling them together. It was probably just the natural consequence of having opposite dominant sides but they mirrored each other perfectly across the table. Once, they both happened to reach for their mugs at the same time and the backs of their hands brushed against each other. They each noticed but responded differently. Hotch repressed any reaction, pretending the quick touch of bony knuckles and cool skin hadn’t registered. Maybe it hadn’t. Reid, on the other hand, jumped as if shocked, sloshing the hot coffee into a puddle on the table. This only flustered him more and he yelped at the sting of the liquid and the sting of embarrassment. It wasn’t like they’d never touched before. But here, in this nowhere time they’d constructed, it felt different. In his mind that brief touch became nails dragging across his skin, impossible to ignore. But he pretended the mug was too hot and Hotch didn’t argue, quick to assist with napkins and sounds of agreement to accompany Spencer’s half-coherent excuses.

When their meals were done, mostly cleaned plates of syrup and crumbs stacked to one side, they hesitated before standing up. Hotch always offered to give Reid a ride home, Reid always declined, insisting he could get there himself. This led to Hotch giving him a doubtful look and insisting that it was no trouble. Reid, secretly wanting a ride the whole time, struggled to argue for his self-sufficiency a little longer before giving in. It became a silly thing, both of them knowing exactly how the argument ended but they held onto it for some reason. It was a part of their ritual now, an important piece of the night. It kept this, whatever this was, contained, strictly occasional, random even. Not something they planned for, not something they looked forward to.

Hotch waited for Spencer to get in the door of his building before driving away. He knew it wasn’t necessary, Spencer was a grown man and a trained FBI agent with a weapon. Still, it made him feel better to see him safely inside. Sometimes he thought he would feel even better if he could walk Spencer all the way to his front door. But he knew that would be asking too much. As it was, the nights when they shared this extra hour or two together, extended further by the drive home, had been giving him more than he could have imagined. He wouldn’t dare impose himself further. The brittle excuse of safety would crumble if he were to start following the other man inside. He was not ready to find out what that would mean. He smiled unconsciously as he drove to his apartment. For now, it was enough that he had found companionship on these late nights when he would otherwise be slowly, meticulously, working his way into the grave.

~Part 2~

[silverbastardgoldenfool]

Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Ship of Magic

Warning: this is an extremely long post lol! Maybe save it and come back to it when you’ve got half an hour or so for a cuppa and a leisurely read :)

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

This is definitely one of the more obvious differences since I read RotE so wildly out of order the first time. Not only was this the first non-Fitz book I read, but I had stopped between Fool’s Quest and Assassin’s Fate of all places to go back to it. It was torture to leave Fitz and the Fool right before the final book and go all the way back to Ship of Magic knowing I had seven books to get through before I would get back to them. It definitely wasn’t overly long before I started to get invested in the story and characters of Liveship, but it was still a struggle for a while there to stop feeling like I was just trying to race through as quickly as possible to get back to my babies. Of course I did know (thanks to my mum) that the Fool was in this trilogy but you get all of five or so Amber scenes in this whole book so that was probably a bit more frustrating than anything lol.

So with that said, basically I just got to enjoy it from beginning to end this time haha. Even though the plot takes quite a while to kick off properly and the multiple POV means it takes longer to get to know each individual character etc., the sheer amount of foreshadowing, worldbuilding details, character set-up and more just makes this one of the most rewarding rereads ever. My brain was in serial-killer-corkboard mode trying to connect all the dots.

Another notable difference is how I feel about certain characters. Most are probably about the same; I still love all the characters I loved the first time as far as I remember. After like three years of seeing/hearing other people’s opinions on certain characters I was really preparing myself to dislike some of my faves. But SIKE!! I still adore Althea, still can’t help but love Brashen even though he is feral raccoon man, still stan Ronica, still relate way too much to Paragon and of course would fully throw myself overboard for Amber. However there are probably three characters I experience very differently based on later events, and that’s Etta, Kennit and Malta.

Malta is the most unexpected tbh, like I know I grew to like her later on but that was because of how she grew. On my first read, I could barely contain my fury while reading her sections and honestly expected I would feel pretty much the same this time until her development kicked in, but for some reason I’m just not getting mad?? Like if anything I’m finding her kind of hilarious bc her thoughts and behaviour are just SO reprehensible that it borders on cartoonish and it’s just hard to take it seriously I guess? I don’t mean to say that she’s not realistic or that I don’t take her seriously as a character. It’s more like, knowing that rather than her being the ruin of her family and becoming a next gen Kyle she actually does grow and mature and in a lot of ways saves her family, I don’t have that knee-jerk emotional reaction and am able to actually analyse her character more critically. Under that lens she serves as a fascinating manifestation of her culture and family dynamics that I’ve loved digging into. And yes, since I know she grows out of it and never manages to cause TOO much harm, I just can’t help but laugh at the sheer extremity of her shittiness.

As for Etta, I don’t exactly remember how I felt about her at this point on first read, but I do know that my knowledge of how she reacts to Althea’s rape is a huge factor in how I’m viewing her character this time. So it’s bound to be at least a bit different. I don’t even know how I feel about her. I’m deeply conflicted because she herself is a victim/survivor and when she’s rabidly murdering her brutalisers every inch of me is desperate to stan. Also her outfits are cool as fuck and make my bisexual brain very biased!! But… she is so very complicit in Althea’s trauma later. Ugh. But this is why I love her *as a character* even if I can’t love her as a person; she is way too complex to just feel one way about.

And then Kennit, who is also now defined for me, of course, by not only Althea’s rape but everything we find out about him later. I definitely never *liked* him on my first read, but I was always fascinated by him. In that sense, nothing has changed; if anything he is more fascinating than ever once you’re able to observe him through a fully-informed lens. But it also just makes things very uncomfortable and I feel this sense of dread knowing where everything is headed.

So yes, very different reading experience!!

Something you can’t believe you forgot

Literally so much like basically everything lol but one of the things that stood out is that Etta straight up saves Kennit’s life twice in this book alone?? Also Althea tripping on liveship dreams for two weeks while confined to her room on the Vivacia. Oh and also that the Khuprus crest is a rooster wearing a crown! Heaps more forgotten facts will pop up in the notes section tho.

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

Amberrrrrrrrr!!!!!!! No you don’t understand I was literally thinking about her introduction for days, it was so perfect and reminded me so much of the way Fitz always describes the Fool. “[the windows] were clear as water, and set in elaborately carved and gilded frames. They made the woman in the window look like a framed piece of art.” “She looks as if she’s all carved of wood. Golden maple.” Ugh the vibes!!

Favourite character arcs

Althea: hers is probably the most obvious, I guess? It’s a fairly classic arc; somewhat entitled girl loses everything and has to work hard to earn her place on her own merit. But it’s a classic for a reason! It’s satisfying to watch her prove to herself that she really does have what it takes to be good at the thing she loves doing. We get to see that she is capable of growth and change while still remaining true to the core of who she is. She’s strong as fuck and I admire the hell out of her.

Wintrow: poor Wintrow also loses everything, but he has much less to show for it because he was given no room for self-determination in this new life of his. Just to be clear, I don’t really have strong feelings about Wintrow in terms of liking or disliking him?? But he is a really interesting character and I do sympathise with him cos jesus he has it rough. Again, though, Robin’s masterful character development comes through to take us on this journey with Wintrow where his sense of self becomes so distorted that he feels he barely recognises himself, and yet through all the changes he is still always completely recognisable to the reader as the same person.

Brashen: It’s not a crazy arc, but what I like about it is that it’s believable. It’s a very logical trajectory for an addict and certified former wild child to follow when he loses his mentor, his job and all the security that came along with it. It’s like he reverts pretty much back to the person he was before Ephron took him under his wing; he’s just a scared, aimless kid again, with little more ambition than to just find ways to scrape by and survive. He goes from a merchant ship, to a messy-but-legitimate slaughter ship, to having one foot in the pirate game again by the end of the book. It’s also extra interesting because of the way Althea and Brashen’s arcs overlap; she is able to keep herself on track because she has a goal, while Brashen doesn’t believe he deserves anything and so doesn’t think ahead enough to keep himself out of trouble. Brashen has very strong Fitz energy let’s be real lol

Favourite relationships

AMBER AND PARAGON. I swear to god I lose my shit the second I realise it’s a “them” section because I just love every second of their interactions. I love how much of their individual characters are revealed through their relationship and just how much they care for each other so quickly (even if Paragon loves to convince himself he doesn’t).

I also loved the development of Althea and Brashen’s relationship in this book. They start off from such an interesting place, both feeling like they do and don’t owe the other anything because they have this shared history and shared love of Ephron and Vivacia and the lives they’ve lost, but they were never really friends. It’s such a tenuous connection at first that it’s only sheer chance that keeps them in each other’s orbit. I like how they refuse to bullshit each other, and I think the reasons why they’re drawn to and away from each other are really compelling and well-written. It’s obvious to the reader how they feel, but even though I like them together I’m not exactly frustrated by the fact they don’t get together yet because there are legitimate reasons for them not to (Althea needs to stay focused on her goal, and they both have growing to do). It’s honestly also nice to see for once that the guy in the situation is the one who is expecting them to be together after one night, while the woman is the one who doesn’t have time for a relationship. I was honestly surprised by how much I still love them together. I was always excited for their interactions because I knew something interesting would happen.

Those are the relationships I’m soft for, but in terms of development and complexity every single relationship in this book is simply immaculate.

Favourite setting

Others’ Island is dope as hell. I couldn’t believe the level of detail and the imagination involved, like all the debris that washes up on the beach is so random and yet so elaborately detailed. It kind of sets the stage for this trilogy being a step above Farseer in terms of how prominent the fantastical elements are going to be. Her prose in that chapter especially was exquisite and really brought the whole island to life as well as setting the tone for the trilogy.

Favourite chapter

It’s not just one chapter but the last few chapters; the entire ending of this book goes hard as fuck.

Most loved character

I would die for Althea right here right now. I would call it a tie with Amber but that would be my future book bias since she’s barely in this one lol (but it’s still a tie with Amber).

Most hated character

Do I even need to say it? I want to put Kyle Haven through a paper shredder

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

Ephron’s death scene is actually really intense and sad. It’s really well-written but it just hits different when you already know the characters and when you know that the shit is about to hit the fan HARD

Althea and Vivacia being separated, especially when you’ve just seen them bonding so intensely and you know they’ll never really be reunited.

Not heartbreaking but most definitely visceral: Wintrow getting his finger amputated. Bitch disgusting

The captain of the Reaper refusing to give Althea her ship’s ticket when he discovered she was a woman was genuinely upsetting.

As was her ensuing hopelessness and loneliness, especially when she was watching a group of friends enjoying each other’s company in the tavern and thinking how she had never had any friends and wondering if she ever would

Only to push away Brashen - her only friend - at the first opportunity

Amber giving Paragon the necklace she carved for him

“My curiosity has always been greater than my wisdom. But largest of all is my own loneliness.” hearing Amber just straight up admit how lonely she is…………. I have stopped breathing

Amber telling Paragon that if she was free to live her life as she wished she would live aboard him, plant a ‘bird and butterfly’ garden, live peacefully. “I would say to the world, do what you will, for I am done with you. Destroy yourself or prosper, it is all one to me, as long as you leave us alone.” The Fool has an artist’s soul; they were made for peace and beauty but is bound by fate to bear constant witness (and be victim) to the worst of humanity so that they can correct those flaws and set the world on a better path. I suppose in a way history itself is the Fool’s greatest masterpiece; they dedicate their entire life to chipping away at the imperfections until the vision is realised. But that is their duty, not necessarily their desire. They - like Fitz, really - want nothing more than a quiet life filled with warm companionship and simple pleasures. And it absolutely rips my heart apart to know - and know that they know - they will never be allowed that.

It’s hard to pinpoint any more individual moments simply because like 90% of this book is depressing and disturbing lol. Althea’s grief and her exhausting vigilance in her efforts to be able to achieve anything as a woman, Brashen’s self-loathing aimlessness, Ronica’s weary determination, Wintrow’s constant degradation and self-policing of his natural human emotions, everything Kyle does, Vivacia’s abandonment, Paragon’s endless torment, Kennit’s inability to stop himself becoming that which he most fears and despises, and his constant cycling between the lowest depths of self-hatred and heady delusions of grandeur. Fun times!

Favourite quotes

“Good luck works best when it is not surprised.” - Kennit POV

“No matter how he seared the faults from himself, another always arose to take its place.” - Kennit POV

“Like many casually cruel men, he had never truly considered why he behaved as he did. It was sufficient for him that he could.” - Wintrow POV

“Althea had never known that misery could achieve perfection.” - Althea POV (obviously lol)

“He was frightening, true, but the most frightening part about him was what others had done to him.” - Althea POV

“Because I can see that you go through life athwart it. You see the flow of events, you are able to tell how you could most easily fit yourself into it. But you dare to oppose it. And why? Simply because you look at it and say, “this fate does not suit me. I will not allow it to befall me.” [...] “Many, of course, will rant and rave against the garment fate has woven for them, but they pick it up and don it all the same, and most wear it to the end of their days. You… you would rather go naked into the storm.” - Amber (to Althea)

“If all were familiar, then we would be swimming back into yesterday.” - serpents lol

“Her hands and feet were like cleverly-trained animals now that contrived to keep her alive despite her own ambivalence.” - Althea POV

“It was an evening to be satisfied, sailing south from winter cold back into warmth, and so her unhappiness pierced her all the more keenly.” - Vivacia POV

“I have always been more curious than wise. Yet any wisdom I have ever gained has come to me from my curiosity. So I have never learned to turn away from it.” - Amber (to Paragon)

“Perhaps men are a trick Sa played on this world. ‘All other things I shall make vast and beautiful and true to themselves,’ perhaps he said. ‘Men alone shall be capable of being petty and vicious and self-destructive. And for my cruellest trick of all, I shall put among them men who are capable of seeing these things in themselves.’” - Vivacia (to Wintrow)

“You and I, we are like buds grafted onto a tree. We can grow true to ourselves, but only so much as our roots will allow us.” - Wintrow (to Vivacia)

“A woman of many talents. And intelligent, too. He’d probably have to kill her soon.” - Kennit POV

“Love, she thought dejectedly, was after all, based on things. Family love, the love in her marriage, even her daughter’s love for her. All based on things and the power to control the things. If you gave up power to people, then they loved you. Funny. Since she had discovered that, she little cared if anyone loved her or not anymore.” - Keffria POV

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

Okay, so just setting it out here that one of the main things I am tracking on this reread is the theme of… let’s call it patriarchy. So misogyny, gendered oppression, gender roles, sexual politics, rape culture, sexual/gendered violence etc. I feel confident saying that patriarchy - as the umbrella term for all of these things - is one of the foremost themes of this trilogy. The text is densely packed with so much to say on all these issues and even with my actively tracking it I will not be able to even remotely cover everything but just know it will come up A LOT

This will be less prominent but I’ve also been looking at these characters through the lens of the “4 Types of Power.” Power over, power to, power with and power within. So for example Kennit would be power over while Wintrow is power within (inner strength). As usual for Robin Hobb trauma is a huge theme in this trilogy but since it’s within a framework of systemic oppression - from gender inequality to colonial rule to slavery - I think power naturally becomes a theme in itself. Most of the characters have or will experience complete powerlessness at some point, from Paragon being stranded, immobile but sentient on the beach, to Wintrow losing more and more autonomy until he is legally a slave. And they all scramble for ways to retain or regain power. I’m interested in looking at what kind of powerlessness they experience, what kind of power they seek/utilise and what kind of methods they use to access that power. I’m not entirely sure how much this will come up in my general notes - it may be something I mostly hold onto til the end and may even end up as its own post - but I just thought I’d mention it here in case it does come up :)

Alright then, let’s start at the beginning!

Others’ Island has a skill road!

Kennit has "pale blue eyes", "gleaming black" hair, high brow, straight nose, firm jaw, finely-drawn lips, "fashionably pointed" beard and "meticulously waxed" moustache.

The blue eyes are interesting since he is from Bingtown and everyone else there seems to have dark hair and eyes - I’m thinking kind of Mediterranean colouring? - so maybe they come from his mother. If I remember correctly his father took a second wife at sea and that’s Kennit’s mother so I suppose she could be from anywhere. Maybe Chalced?

Am I forgetting some deep reason why the Others are terrified of cats lol or is it just a lil quirk?

Very telling (and very quickly) that Kennit demands adoration but is disgusted by the people who adore him. He wants to be loved but deep down still sees himself as unlovable, and therefore anyone who does love him must either be an idiot or have ulterior motives.

The Others use the Skill road to get in people’s heads and lure them off the path

Brashen is 24 and was 14 when he served on his first ship

Brashen was sexually assaulted by another crew member on his first voyage. I find it significant that not only does sexual violence come up so early but it is an incident of male-on-male pedophilic abuse. A perfect example of how expertly Robin Hobb crafts her stories and characters as this not only establishes that Brashen as a character has had a rough life from a young age but also establishes an important thematic element that won’t pay off for two more books.

Kyle has blonde hair and blue eyes

Typical Kyle has the captain quarters in a mess cos god forbid he clean up after himself if there’s no woman to do it for him

Althea is 19

Grandma Vestrit was the blueprint

The Vestrits lost 3 sons to the blood plague

Brashen has brown eyes

Althea has dark, coarse hair and describes her skin as ‘tanned’. Keffria later describes her own skin as ‘olive’.

Bingtown society almost reminds me of The Handmaid’s Tale; it’s this scary concept of a society where women’s roles/rights backslide instead of progressing towards equality over the years, but it’s laid out in a way that’s totally believable. Since Bingtown was founded by exiles and life was so hard that there was no getting around needing all hands on deck, it makes sense that it would become a status symbol to flaunt that your family is comfortable enough that your women don’t need to work. After long enough it just becomes the norm, especially considering their main trade is with Jamaillia who is more and more under Chalcedean influence.

Ronica is such an ~employer~ lol, expecting Rache to be grateful for her shitty life and ‘opportunities’ just because it could be even worse.

Ronica describes Ephron’s skin as ‘almost the colour of the linen he lay on’ after months away from the sun and sea, so yeah, I definitely don’t think Bingtown folk are naturally pale but not as dark as Buck folk, either.

Ephron wanted to make Brashen captain

Honestly super shitty of Ephron to encourage Althea’s independence and adventurous spirit if he still expected her to ‘settle down’ eventually and be a wife and mother while her husband sailed the Vivacia. Why dangle something in front of her only to tell her she can’t have it?

This is thinking way ahead but like. Characters like Althea make me so conflicted because it’s like, cool, we get a woman who is gender nonconforming... but don’t worry, she’s not queer!! and she’ll still end up hetero married with children!! I wanna make it clear that this is not a criticism of Althea’s character or Hobb’s writing but rather an observation of a larger trend. And I use the word “conflicted” rather than “disappointed” because it is more accurate. I find myself weighing up what we COULD have gotten out of an explicitly queer version of this character, vs. what the author is saying through the story and character as they ARE and how much I love and value that. It’s more a result of the epidemic of queer invisibility in media at large - particularly when it comes to gnc women - as opposed to a failure of any one work. Especially when, like I said, you can see that the character is VERY INTENTIONALLY written to be the way they are because the author has something to say. And I LIKE what she has to say! Upon reread I’m really seeing how Althea provides a very specific purpose of challenging the idea that a woman must have either love and family OR freedom/a non-traditional lifestyle. Not by pushing the ~women can have it all~ narrative but by having her find fulfilment outside the prescribed ideals. She can live the life that feels most natural to her, and she doesn’t have to be lonely in order to do so (insert Jo March ~women~ monologue). I appreciate that, and I like her and Brashen together, so I’m genuinely not complaining about Althea’s story, or her sexuality. Even Jek, who seems like the most obvious candidate for “just let her be queer!!!!” but is instead aggressively hetero can’t really bother me bc her specific brand of heterosexuality is a foil in itself to Althea’s severe repression. It all works; I can’t really even say I want it any other way. It just gets me thinking in the broader context about how rarely we get a gnc woman who doesn’t have to ‘subvert’ that archetype by being straight. Because as valid as it is to use a character like this to challenge traditional gender roles and family dynamics, it would also be perfectly valid if she was in fact queer, if she liked other women or didn’t like anyone at all. But it’s almost like when you have a character whose gender presentation is pushing boundaries, there’s an impulse to use an acceptable sexuality to “normalise” and validate their gender. What better way to show that this woman, who rejects so much of prescribed womanhood, is a real woman than to affirm her desire for men? Again, not even a criticism of Robin Hobb - a lot of the time when Althea is airing out her grievances about being a woman she is talking to Amber/the Fool, a character Hobb uses to challenge gender and sexuality with ever-increasing complexity as the series goes on, as well as eventually giving us queer characters. So although my thoughts on gender and womanhood unsurprisingly do not always align with that of the almost-70-year-old author, I am mostly happy with the way these topics are explored in this series and I’m not going to accuse her of having an overly simplistic take on gender and sexuality. Yes she still could have included queer characters in this trilogy if she’d wanted to, and I’m sad there are no explicitly queer women in the series as a whole, but it’s a bit late for that now lol. We all know I can’t help myself when it comes to queering texts but for the most part I think it is a better use of my energy to analyse the copious good stuff that’s actually there rather than focus on what *I* may perceive to be lacking.

It’s sooooo interesting (and sad, and baseless) that Althea’s family view her as selfish and don’t seem to trust that if she had the Vivacia she would use her to look after the family. Pretty much just the fact that she doesn’t show interest in being a wife and mother (at the ripe old age of 19) causes people to think that she doesn’t care for anyone but herself, which is such a false correlation. As a woman who is unattached and child-free by choice, I’ve experienced very similar reactions to my choices and it’s always so strange the value judgements people make based on these factors that have nothing to do with a person’s character.

"He had taken it into his head that one could not traffic in magic, even peripherally, without paying a price." Robin Hobb LOVES this concept and good for her honestly, just wish I could figure out what it signifies lol. Perhaps simply a healthy scepticism of power.

“Ronica thought it was something most slaves brought on themselves.” Ronica plEASE I’m trying to stan u

It’s no wonder that Kennit sets himself such ‘unattainable’ goals. I think a part of him doesn’t actually want to achieve them because then all he will be left with is the reality of himself, unchanged. As evidenced by the fact that when he became captain of the Marietta and completed a first triumphant voyage he didn’t celebrate but instead fell into a months-long depression.

Really interesting that when he broke said depression with a bout of killing it was the first time he had actually enjoyed killing.

Everything about the first Kennit/Etta scene is… Deeply disturbing.

Kennit is a pirate who doesn't want to be a pirate (James Flint vibes). What he seeks is power, respect and legitimacy and piracy is merely his means of gaining it. His plan is the antithesis of what piracy is about. But he doesn't want to be an outsider, living on the fringes, he wants to be a ruler. He wants to be celebrated and adored.

“Hopelessly, he tried to discover who was at fault for his situation. It did not please him to decide that the fault, as always, was his own.” Kennit has so much more self-hatred than I remember. It kind of shows how like, forging may numb the pain but it doesn’t break the patterns created by the trauma that you’re blocking out. Instead you actually get stuck inside those patterns because you’ve lost the ability to process the pain and move forward. So Kennit’s brain remembers the impulse for self-hatred, but now it simply appears to come from a different place, eg: failing to live up to his unattainable vision of who he ‘should’ be. “Pain and perfection. It was the only path to redemption he knew.”

Kennit gives Etta the ruby earring that he found in one of the dead cat’s ears on Others’ Island.

I like that from early on we see that Brashen looks out for Althea, but it’s not in like a pushy or condescending way, he’s just genuinely concerned when he sees the state she’s in after vibing with Vivacia for two weeks instead of eating or washing.

It’s such a weak excuse to say that you had to give the ship to Keffria/Kyle because she has children to provide for… Bro Althea would have made sure her family were taken care of, not to mention what is stopping Kyle from getting any other job and then they could have had multiple incomes??

Selden is 7, Malta is 12 and Wintrow is 13

I love how much Althea and Ronica’s internal monologues mirror each other - yet they would claim they couldn’t be more different.

Malta is taller than Wintrow.

“Our grandfather is dying.” “He’s being doing it all summer.” MALTA ksjdfnkjn

lol Brashen thinking about how althea is so selfish because she's only thinking about herself and not how her father's death affects the crew. Bro shut up her dad is dying. It's okay for her to be selfish rn

Luckily he redeems himself once he sees Ephron and the reality of his death hits him, and when he stands up for Althea, saying she should be the one to quicken the Vivacia. Rights reinstated.

Althea literally likens the quickening of the Vivacia to the birth of one’s child……… Robin how dare you separate them

Althea misses her father’s burial :(

Wintrow really ain’t wrong about Liveships being “not of Sa” lol, the whole thing is most definitely unnatural and fills me with dread

Althea was actually willing to work under Kyle if it meant not being parted from Vivacia

The way Robin Hobb writes young characters is so so on point and fascinating to me. The story seems to come up again and again of a young kid being thrust into a very adult or harsh or inappropriate situation but she always shows that kids still think like kids no matter how "mature" they seem or how many responsibilities they have. She never idealises the trials of childhood or adolescence, doesn't make out that going through traumatic shit as a young person makes you grow or toughen up. She shows how those things can actually destroy a person and shows that sometimes shitty things just happen and we don't always come out the other side better for it. Not to say none of these characters are able to recover and prosper later on in life, but she still lets their experiences affect them in a way that is true to their age.

Althea yeeting her high heels into the street is truly iconic behaviour.

“Now that my father’s dead, no one will ever be proud of me again.” Althea don’t fuckin do this to me beech

When the book starts, Amber has been in town for two years.

“It’s as much the wood she chooses as the SKILL with which she does it.” I see you beech (no idea if this was actually intentional lol but I have decided it is)

Brashen teaching Paragon to weave is cute. They are friend

It’s absolutely heartbreaking how grateful Paragon is for just the very presence of another person, even though Brashen is basically just using him for a place to sleep.

pissing myself that Kennit is like "wow who knew Sorcor would be so passionate about slavery" Kennit he was a slave???

Sorcor is so much smarter than he seems. He's the one to suggest (insist on) chasing down slavers and freeing slaves. He says this will help win pirates over to their cause and he's 100% right. This, more than the capture of a liveship, is what works most in favour of Kennit's reputation. Again, Kennit’s ‘luck’ that the idea he disdains is the one that actually gets him what he wants.

A boy’s labour ‘belonging’ to his father by law til the age of 15 in Bingtown is one of the more fucked up ideas I ever done did hear

Under 15’s Labour Union NOW

Kyle's gaslighting "oh how am I the bad guy here" bullshit is so akskdjsjakks

Makes me insane that Ronica is like “well I would have changed my mind and let you have the Vivacia if you hadn’t just proven that you’re actually not ready for the responsibility!” because Althea went out drinking???? The night after her father died???? What does that even have to do with anything?? Come on ronnie

Okay does Althea not have a lil crush on Amber??? I don’t want them together for obvious reasons but aint nothing wrong with a lil bisexual awakening for my friend Althea

It is literally the Fool’s job to be everybody’s gay awakening. I don’t make the rules.

Amber has one serpent earring and one dragon earring??? Bad bitch said I am going to wear my foreshadowing

What I appreciate about Ronica is that she fucks up but when she does she owns up to it real quick and gets to work on trying to salvage what she can

Love how a normal convo between Brashen and Paragon ends with Paragon just casually telling Brashen to kill himself. I love friendship.

Amber is described as honey-coloured

Amber was literally at the docks to find her nine-fingered slave boy but came face to face with Althea instead.

“Some are supposed to fight fate and win.” FELLAS WE GOT A FITZ REFERENCE

I wonder how much forethought there was from Robin in giving the Fool his wood-related Skill in AQ considering this entire trilogy is about wood lol. Did she contrive that to happen because she knew what the next trilogy was about and that the Fool would be in it? Did the Fool’s powers give her the idea for Liveship? Or did it all just kind of fall together? Either way, it works perfectly.

I love that Amber just straight up tells Althea she wants to be her friend. Could not be me but by Sa I respect it

Jamaillia also used to have more gender equality.

Kyle’s mother was from Chalced and his parents took on more traditional Chalcedean roles

Ronica goes to see Vivacia when Althea asks her to. Good boy.

Vivacia’s story of Althea pushing Torg off the dock when he tried to lay hands on her. We have no choice but to stan.

Is there any significance to Kennit’s raven flag? Why a raven?

“Luck such as yours has no patience with fear." What kind of luck is Kennit's exactly? Is it fate pulling him back towards Paragon like a magnet, where the rest of his soul lies? And why would that require him to be fearless? Because to fear would be to think/feel too deeply? Because he must endure loss of limb and ultimately death to get there? Everything with Kennit’s luck and his wizardwood charm makes my head spin.

Askew, the island founded by runaway slaves, is run by a woman.

The fact that Kyle actually has the power to stop Keffria seeing her own son before they set sail is ridiculous.

"Kyle was his father. Surely he would let no harm come to him.” Sure sweaty

I really do feel sorry for Keffria. She just wanted security and stability and ended up with an abusive cunt instead. Not hard to make that mistake when gender roles in your society are already inherently toxic and power imbalanced.

"If [Malta’s] a little girl, she's a well-fleshed one." Kyle you HAVE to die. I am going to kill you.

Why doesn’t it surprise me that Kyle pulls the old “why would I let my slaves get hurt/die when that’s damaging my cargo? It’s in my best interest to keep them in good condition.” Yuck!!!

Wintrow sputtering like C3PO every time someone has a remotely less than pure thought is so funny. Mild is not actually going to murder torg, bro, just chill out.

Makes sense tho cos ya know, he’s literally been sheltered from real life and raised by fricken monks lol

the sailor who pretended to throw away his Vivacia earring when Kyle fired him, then gave it back to Vivacia :')

Althea asking Wintrow if he will be a witness to Kyle's oath is their only real interaction before they meet again at the end. Wild.

Caolwn was born in Bingtown

Keffria realising that what she thought was a slow, sweet courtship was just Kyle wearing down her defences is so sad and gross.

EVEN WORSE is that he’s using their courtship as an example of what he DOESN’T want Malta to be like. Sir are u fucking okay???

Althea calls Amber her friendddddd

Amber tells Althea she was an actor who played both genders… But did she lie tho??

Genuinely tho how does Amber have such specific knowledge about how a woman disguises herself as a man……… much 2 think about

The description of Brashen realising that Athel was Althea is genuinely hilarious and delightful.

The differences in how Althea thinks she’s faring on the reaper vs. how Brashen thinks she’s doing are so smart and so telling. Althea thinks she’s finally seeing what a crap sailor she really is while Brashen is admiring how well she’s proving herself.

Wintrow’s robot vibes continue as he has to literally spell out for himself the logic behind a joke

And then immediately feels guilty for laughing at it

So clever the couple of times Robin flows smoothly between POV’s with no section break. Once between Wintrow and Vivacia to show how connected they are and once between Althea and Brashen during their sex scene.

When Kennit sees that Etta has been raped and beaten in their usual room and his only thought is that the room has been ruined for him now. That’s gonna be a yikes from me, dude.

Followed by Etta saving the bastard’s life.

omfggggg Kyle going out of his way to undermine Keffria by leaving money and permission for Malta's dress. He has done and will do so much worse but aahahahhshsiskdk

Like of course she has no respect for her mother and feels entitled to do whatever she wants. Why would she believe anyone has any authority over her in her father’s absence when he has made himself the sole authority in the family.

I love how when Malta interacts with strangers and is trying to be all grown up and authoritative they just laugh at her.

Malta is so perfectly written in her deep fascination and draw to men/sex while having zero concept of the reality of these matters and feeling repelled the second things get too real.

What Malta really wants is not sex or love or men or marriage; she wants what those things represent which is life, an acceptable avenue for experience and socialisation. She literally cites the fact that women are chained down with husband and babies before long as her motivation to live as much as she can in the meantime.

Love how Malta doesn't even consider for a moment how inappropriate people will think it is for her to show up to the ball ALONE presenting as a courtable woman while the rest of her family are home GRIEVING.

Davad is a shitcunt but he 100% did her a solid getting her the hell out of there.

Malta is 13 (by the ball)

Easy to forget how much Vivacia yearns for Althea as well in this book since she becomes Bolt later, but she misses her so much :(

Wintrow perfectly sets the stage for her later becoming Bolt bc he forces her to question her very existence in a way she never would have if bonded to Althea. "He made her think of things no other Vestrit had considered while on her decks." No wonder her identity is so easily fractured.

Kinda girlboss of Wintrow to challenge his father to be the one to cut off his finger; to dare him to look directly at what he has inflicted on his son and accept responsibility for it.

Which of course Kyle refuses.

And can’t even watch the whole thing.

Kinda girlboss of Wintrow to offer his father his severed finger.

Wintrow loses the index finger of his right hand.

Vivacia eating Wintrow’s finger serving some Hannibal realness

Ahhh it’s so the little things with Amber, like her asking permission to come closer to Paragon. She has the biggest heart. I perish.

“I have always been more curious than wise.” Please DO NOT. I did not ask for an “I have never been wise” through-line, okay? I can’t handle it

Brashen hasn’t had cindin in years. Makes sense that he returns to it when he is grieving and lost.

I’m personally offended that Ephron said the Six Duchies are more barbaric than Chalced

Call me problematic but I think Brashen and Althea’s first time is complicated but sweet. They were both drugged up, Althea initiated it, Brashen gave her plenty of opportunities to stop, and both of those touch-starved bastards enjoyed themselves.

Unfortunately relatable how Althea lets go for a few minutes and finds some relief and companionship only to immediately spoil the moment for herself by spilling out all her sexual trauma. Can’t just let herself just feel good for a moment.

Brashen gets points for vowing to kill Althea’s rapist

Ronica be like yes I will treat Rache with kindness but by god I will resent every minute of it

Keffria has been married 15 years

Cerwin is around 18/19

Keffria fully holds Cerwin over the fire when he comes for his little ‘visit’ and it’s beautiful to behold

I feel like Kyle interfering with Keffria’s girl-child - the one area she would have felt belonged to her - was probably one of the only things that could have awoken Keffria (though it still happens slowly) to Kyle’s true nature and her own power to contend with it

Robin Hobb reallllllly loves exploring indefinable bonds. The wit, the skill, Liveship bonds, dragon bonds. There are a lot of parallels between Wintrow/Vivacia and Fitz/Fool and even Fitz/Nighteyes. Most of them involuntary, most of them as painful as they are comforting. Idk what it all means but I’m here for it.

Tfw your dad gives you a hard time cos you didn’t fight a bear.

There's a channel called Wrong Again Channel. Iconic

I literally can’t process the fact that it’s called the Rain River and not the Rain Wild River

What is the nature of Kennit’s charm exactly? Is it prescient? Since Others and Liveships are both creatures that “should” have been dragons, do liveships share the Others’ gift of premonition? Vivacia has a “bad feeling” about Wintrow going ashore to Jamaillia which she calls a premonition. So does quickened wizardwood have the ability to see the future in some sense? And if so, what future does the charm see? Which part of that future is he trying to bring into reality? Is it that he knows Kennit’s role in returning dragons to the world? If he doesn’t capture Vivacia, Wintrow would never meet She Who Remembers, Vivacia would never become Bolt etc. Is it simply invested in bringing dragons back, stopping the cycle that brought him into being in the first place? He certainly seems to dislike Kennit on a personal level and makes no effort (that I remember) to keep him alive once he’s served his purpose. And when it comes to Etta, does he really have feelings for her or is he again just making sure that she remains loyal to Kennit so that she can continue to save his life and play her role in making things happen?

Etta serving looks every damn DAY

Etta chops Kennit’s leg off to save him from the serpent

“Malta was sick of them both being so crabby. It seemed to her that all they focused on was the sad side of life, the worrying parts.” This is such a kid thing to think. But also hope Malta never meets someone with depression lol.

“We could go north...” we… Brashen is so soft for Althea ugh

“It was embarrassing that she had enjoyed what they had done, and all the more so because he knew she had enjoyed it.” if this ain’t a sexually repressed woman mood

It’s obviously not cool how Brashen insults Althea when she rejects him, but I can’t help but think how he has spent the last ten years of his life in the same place she is currently in; desperately trying to prove he could make it on his own and in the process denying that he needed anybody else, fortifying himself as a one man operation. So it makes sense why he lashes out like that, like he’s trying to undo all that vulnerability and build those walls back up, make it seem like he never cared in the first place.

Rache is paid a wage

Althea’s sentiment that it’s humiliating to be seen to enjoy sex is echoed in the dream Malta shares with Reyn, where we see that her romantic fantasy is one of abduction and powerlessness. This subject of repressed female sexuality and how it manifests and intersects with rape culture is one that - as far as Mad Ship - continues to be explored.

Wintrow refusing to have someone send word to Kyle to get him out of captivity because he believes he can think his way out of this situation is telling not only of Wintrow’s character but the general attitude that slavery is something that people bring on themselves. Since Wintrow sees himself as ‘above’ slavery he is convinced that he will find a way out of it.

Wintrow dreams of dragons and serpents during his captivity

Wintrow is now 14

Kennit and Paragon share the same paranoia

Kennit’s Charm speaks to Etta in front of Kennit (I only remembered it doing so while he was sleeping).

I love how Wintrow’s whole slavery arc serves as a foil to so many of the characters’ belief that even if slavery is wrong, the people who end up as slaves are still somehow lesser or deserving of their fates. But wintrow doesn’t “earn” his slavery, he is pushed into it by a string of bad luck and the horrific injustice of the practice itself. As long as there are slave-owners, slaves will continue to be created; the conditions that create slaves will continue to be perpetuated.

Brashen “you don’t know if you want to hire me but want me to be fully available at the drop of a hat if you decide you do?” communist king, start a union babe

very Fitz-like of Brashen to think “she knows me so well she wants nothing to do with me” like bruh he hates himself so bad

“by the luck in my name” kennit ludLUCK!!!!!!!!! Yes this is me realising the connection between Kennit’s luck and Kennit’s name for the first time lol don’t look at me

“They ignored her just as they ignored the pleas of the slaves.” Yeah, another good reason not to turn a liveship into a slaver: it won’t take long for them to realise they are no more than a slave themself.

Wintrow shares Vivacia’s awareness of the slaves’ suffering

Reyn is 19

Kyle regrets giving Wintrow the slave tattoo GEE I WONDER WHY. What a wonderful time you’d have had explaining that one to your wife.

"they'd already had to put three deaders over the side" rot in hell kyle

Vivacia misses Brashen :(

Literally cannot believe the audacity of Wintrow telling Vivacia that she wouldn’t understand what it’s like to have no control over where you go and what you do… WINTROW. What is wrong with you

“You need to start being yourself and discover your own ambitions and desires and thoughts.” I’m sorry?? bro she’s a SHIP. She can have all the ambitions she likes but she has zero autonomy to achieve them. WINTROW. What is wrong with you

I love that the liveships have their own little community amongst themselves, and that they made a pact to never let what happened to Paragon happen to another liveship.

It stings bad that Althea could have gone to the liveships for help with Vivacia. Ah. How differently things could have gone.

Ophelia is a girlboss

I can’t feel too bad about Gantry’s death. No one forced him to stay aboard when he knew it was going to be a slaver. He knew it was wrong and he did it anyway.

Honestly warmed my heart what the Teniras do for Althea. Letting her serve under her own name/identity is one thing, but making her mate?? They did not have to go that hard but they did. Tomie Tenira the man the moment the legend

When Kennit meets Wintrow, the Charm says the same thing Igrot said when he met Kennit: “A likely urchin, maybe something could be made of him.” Let the unholy discomfort begin.

Even Wintrow feels the deja vu of the moment.

Wintrow really made his own bed with his constant insistence that he didn’t WANT to be bonded to Vivacia. No shit she goes nuts for Kennit when he makes it clear just how much he WANTS her.

The last like 100 pages fuckin SLAP

[michibikionmain]

This isn’t THE tommyinnit villain essay but it sure is one of them

Ok ok so 4 those of u who aren't on discord with me: i have two main essays that have been in the works for MONTHS, these being my Complete Dream character analysis essay going in-depth for nearly all of his canon interactions and finding his character traits and motivations through the story, and my Tommyinnit (and Wilbur Soot) were Always The Villains on the server essay talking about how the only reason so many people view them as the good guys or heroes is because we see the story from their perspective mainly. This essay? Is not either of those. BUT, it does go through a lot of my thoughts on Tommy and Dream’s characters so I figured I’d post it. maybe itll help me organize my thoughts 4 my Mega Projects lol

@ranboocore bc u helped me pop off on this so hard LMAO

Warning, it’s VERY Tommy Critical, what a suprise. I do not like Tommy as a character lol. idk what triggers yall might need me to tag but if u need one in particular pls lmn!

My biggest issue with tommy's character is that he SAYS hes learned but he never does he is exactly the same person he was at the start of the server just More Sad and with Trauma, when out of all the characters he's had the most push to change. c!Tommy is a very tell-don't-show character which can make it hard for some people to connect to him, especially those who don’t directly share his trauma or see themselves in his character. Of course, there is still a MASSIVE amount of people who relate to his struggles and thus love him regardless of his writing, but those who can't relate to him will always feel some kind of barrier until the things they've talked about are actually shown to the viewer instead of being spoon-fed to them.

It is a very beginner writing thing, and I'm hoping that Tommy is figuring out how to fix this, maybe with support from the many other writers on the server. There's the 3 you mentioned, plus fundy, niki, and maybe tubbo who also play dnd, plus Dream who said he would've been an English major and does a lot of personal writing for fun.  I think the biggest issue in the writing lies in the individual ccs being inexperienced in the medium, particularly with planning out their own character growth. 

Another glaring issue I have with c!Tommy is how he's framed to be sympathetic and he goes through all these horrible things without acknowledging his role in any of them. The things that have happened to him are a direct result of his actions, but the thing is HE won't acknowledge and so it falls flat. This isn’t to say that being abused is his fault, because it’s NEVER the vicitm’s fault, but being exiled? His multiple fights with c!Dream? His friendships falling apart? Losing the disks in the first place? They’re the direct consequences of HIS OWN actions, but he never acknowledges this and constantly just... brushes off any accountability by either saying that it’s Dream fault or simply SAYING he feels bad without properly showing it through redemption and GROWTH.

Denial is useful in storytelling sometimes, but Tommy's character has been in denial since the very beginning of the server and at this point it's just exhausting. He only ever switches between denial and depression, not really going through all 5 stages of grief properly. His violent/upset reactions would be more powerful if they were any different from how tommy usually acts, but this is always how he is. When he “lashes out” because he’s reached the end of his patience, it doesn’t SEEM like the snap it is because that’s just... it’s seriously just his standard reaction to everything. It hold no WEIGHT to see c!Tommy yell at someone violently or threaten to fight them because he does that anyways!

Static characters can be a good thing, and can be interesting if done correctly, but not every character SHOULD or CAN be static in a story.

Static characters need to have their position or behavior challenged and question, where they look into if the way they see and interact with the world is really the 'correct' one or just evaluated to see if they truly believe in them. This questioning period is CRUCIAL! and NEEDS to be well done in a way that ACTIVELY SHOWS the conflict between the two ideals. If they decide to hold onto their beliefs/continue their behavior then, it feels deserved, because rather than just being a flat "they do thing its who they are" they have defined WHY. WHY is a very important question to think of when telling the difference between dynamic and static characters. The why of a character is ESSENTIAL to developing them as a relatable, sympathetic person rather than a flat story telling device. It makes them a human rather than a puppet. When a character's motives aren't well defined or discussed, they're doomed to fall flat in everything else, because the WHY is the foundation of what makes them who they are.

c!Tommy has an underdeveloped "why", his motivations are weak, rarely properly discussed and when they are it doesn't particularly stick with him. His motivations change without showing us the internal struggle that should come from literally shifting your driving principles. There are some good MOMENTS of him reevaluating the importance of certain things, but they're so spread out and contradictory and immediately spat one that they're hard to piece together. He TELLS us what his motivations are as well, which is another big flaw when it comes to all that but we don't have time to unpack all THAT Anyways, the key to static story telling is reaffirmation. The character goes through a complete journey and ends with the same beliefs because they've looked into why they have them and determined that they still matter to them. A great example of static writing in my eyes is c!Techno, who since the beginning has believed that governments are bad. c!Techno enters the server to destroy a government, and still ends up doing that because he sees and we see him experience that the reasons he didn't like government before still hold true and he has no reason to support them any more than before, and so his anarchist beliefs are REAFFIRMED, proving to him that they way he handles things is the right one for him.

c!Tommy’s attachments are all just... they're all so weird.  like he LITERALLY SACRIFICES HIS LIFE MULTIPLE TIMES for L'manburg. By action of sacrifice it seems like it should be the most important thing to him, but then he throws it away for some disks that mattered less to him just a minute ago.  But then it's all about how c!Tubbo is worth more than Anything and maybe he's found something more important! but then he shoves THAT out the window for the discs again ig!!! but then it's about l’manburg again? Make it make sense.... pls....

Here's smth that really irks me about Tommy's character, and is kind of weird but give me a second to explain: Tommy has never actually permanently lost much of anything on the server. Every punishment he's ever received he's tried to find some way around. And like... I'm not expecting him to be HAPPY to face the consequences of his actions but seeing him constantly have his cake and eat it too is very irritating, especially when there are characters who DO have to deal with actual permanent sacrifices. The whole thing with the disks. where he WILLINGLY OFFERED THEM UP AND GAVE THEM AWAY THEN SPENT FOREVER TRYING TO STEAL THEM BACK WHILE CLAIMING DREAM STOLE THEM FROM HIM, is the biggest example of this, but it's generally his characters way of dealing with things. He's very backhanded and conniving, constantly calling himself "big man" except for when he wants things from people and he plays up the "iM a MiNoR" card to try and get them to give him things or feel bad. He's not just some sweet innocent kid like people paint him, he knows damn well he's messed up and while he SAYS he feels bad about it, he has never once really shown, with his ACTIONS, regret for what he's done except for the stuff with c!Sapnap, which could it could be argued he did because he thought it would help get c!Sapnap on his side to fight Dream and he knew c!Sapnap was a skilled warrior and could possibly be persuaded to fight with dream.

c!Tommy is in NO way some sweet innocent child, he knows what he's doing. He KNEW l'manburg was a drug empire, and wanted to turn his hotel into the same He was FULLY prepared to just murder c!Schlatt for legally winning an election that he KNEW was rigged AND INTENDED TO HELP RIG HE LITERALLY TEAMED UP WITH c!TECHNOBLADE KNOWING THAT HE INTENDED TO BLOW UP L'MANBURG AND ONLY LEFT WHEN HE REALIZED IT WASN'T GOING TO ACTUALLY HELP HIM--

The line of c!Wilbur saying "Tommy, are we the bad guys?" wasn't him mentally going batshit it was him realizing that the entire time they've been doing terrible things. c!Wilbur was literally ALWAYS Vilbur but the time people CALL Vilbur is when c!Will himself realized he was a villain.

[daaziscoolbesties]

[REPOST] MY 2K WORD COMMENTARY/ANALYSIS OF RANBOO’S LORE STREAM

‼️‼️This post contains lore spoilers from Ranboo’s 4/23 stream, “The Enderwalk Saga. Chapter 1: The Lessons”. If you haven’t seen that stream don’t read ahead unless you want spoilers‼️‼️

disclaimer: this isnt really an analysis as much as a bunch of commentary and half-baked theories.

-on the way to the mansion he was sort of talking to himself saying stuff like "i'm good i'm good" which m a y be a normal thing but also maybe it's not and it flew over our heads cause he talks to chats and donos like that so often

-again, this one may just be a normal thing but when he was climbing up the stairs in the mansion looking for foolish, he repeats some of his words like down to the exact same tone of voice and everything. 12:42,  "this mansion is way too big actually. this mansion is way too big actually." (why the repeated actually? seems odd to me but again it might just be a normal thing that i haven't picked up on). (right after) "okay okay lemme find him lemme find him" again repeated words in the e x a c t same tone.

-does everyone know about ranboo's silk touch hands ability thing? or was that just a techno and ranboo main character moment. bc if it was, how would foolish know that ranboo could pick up the full cake after it'd been partially eaten. unless everyone on the sever knows about that in which case this means nothing. but if they d o n t know... how would foolish know? ranboo wrote about it in the do not read book so maybe if it's not a publicly known thing maybe foolish got his hands on the book and read it??

-14:53-ish, they're talking about the war room and how it was for tubbo or whatever and ranboo says, and i quote "he prepares for lore but he's never gonna do it." now funny thing is at first i couldn't tell if he said "war" like in reference to the war room or "lore". but after playing the clip over and over i can say with ALMOST 100% certainty that he said lore. there is a definite L sound at the beginning of the word. which either means a) this was a slip up (doubtful bc he said later that there were no mistakes), b) he broke the fourth wall because they were supposed to be rping at that point, or c) i'm completely wrong and he said "war" which leads down an entire other road of possibilities

-15:17 "are you a book reader?" "*checks inventory for do not read book* uh yeah i'd say i'm a book reader-" dunno how i didn't catch this the first time I HATE THAT DAMN BOOK

-15:18 there's blue in his hotbar. where did he get the blue.

-16:40 "it's like a metaphor- i have two minds: i have my normal self, my normal little shift-dancing self, and then the builder one. the builder one is demanding. it's a very demanding mind." ranboo then lets out a weird sigh after this. i feel like what foolish was talking about was an indirect(?) parallel to ranboo in and out of enderwalk, there's how he normally is, trying to do best for others, and then there's enderwalk, meeting up with bad guys and "demanding" things (its very late as i write this i really don't know what i'm talking about)

-17:11 "you have your panic closet" i'm sorry his what now 😀 no but seriously how the hell did i miss some of these

-18:04 "you're asking me if i remember?" very funny ranboo thank you for making jokes in these trying times

-18:25 WHY DID HE GET OUT THE AXE WHEN STARING AT THE BEE

-19:38 why did foolish hold the grass block- most of these observations probably mean nothing but- h u h - is that- i'm too tired for this

-19:54 "i never properly thanked you for the deal you made with me" so foolish got something out of this deal, we're not sure if ranboo did. "the green cardboard box" again do you mean dream's house- but seriously the only people i can think of on the server that are associated with green are dream and sam. and i have no idea what cardboard box could be referring to.  foolish got a lime colored shulker from drista

-20:30 "we're supposed to only talk about it at a certain location" hmm now where would that be? panic room maybe? cause like usually after doing a big thing in the enderwalk state ranboo wakes up in the panic room so maybe?  the deal was that they only talk about it in his house

-21:52 how does ranboo receive(?) the lessons? like are they whispered to him in his mind or is he seeing them as words in front of him like we see? hmm

-"Lesson 14: If you have the opportunity to gain a favor, take it." "gain a favor" don't you usually ask people for favors though? how does one "gain a favor"? anyways i'm pretty sure lesson 14 has to do with the deal foolish was talking about. (the deal explained because i now have info: at some point a bit ago foolish met up with ranboo and asked to make a deal, he'd gotten a shulker box from drista. the deal was that ranboo would have ownership of the box, it would be under his name but foolish rents/borrows it indefinitely. ranboo negotiated that if he took ownership of the box he would get a "war favor"  from foolish where if something happens that creates sides, ranboo can ask him a favor that could change his side. but why would foolish want ranboo to have ownership of the shulker you may ask? well i have an answer for you. a theory actually but still. basically since drista technically isn't supposed to give out shit on the server if someone where to have that stuff then they may get in trouble. foolish wants to be able to use the shulker but if it gets found he doesn't want to get in trouble, so he can blame it on ranboo seeing as it's under his name.)

-22:16-ish "i still have this from when you *can't understand whats said here*" well i guess that sort of explains why he had the grass block? idk man (info update: he had the grass block from when ranboo threw it at him telling him to calm down like what ghostbur does with blue)

-31:35 "i figured out how to cause it" how to cause the enderwalk state

-38:30 "ninety three lessons" I STILL DONT KNOW WHY HE KEPT SAYING NINETY THREE AND NOT NINETY FOUR AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY LMAO

-39:01 "it's all for the greater good" okay well when are you gonna start thinking about yourself and not everyone else for once huh. self care bitch.

-40:31 he started holding the axe when he was looking at sam- gonna say it i really don't like that axe ahahah- WAIT A DAMN MINUTE THE AXE IS NAMED "axe of ender" I DONT LIKE THAT I DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL

-41:53 is there something?? physically keeping him from telling sam??? or maybe it's sort of like his enderwalk state taking control to make him shut the fuck up??? so many questions and approximately zero answers

-43:18 ranboo raising his voice legitimately scares me 😀👍

-"Lesson 27: Do not reminisce on what you have lost for it will weigh you down." showed up when he was thinking about and REMINISCING about the community house 👀👀

-"Lesson 53: Never fully trust anyone." showed up literally after he said that he thinks he can trust the other people on the server enough to tell them about what he did

-"Lesson 67: Leave no evidence of what you have helped with." this is different from the others because there doesn't seem to be at least a semi-direct connection to it? unless maybe at the time ranboo was near something he may have "helped with"? not sure about this one

-"Lesson 94: DO NOT LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE" yeah yeah i get it i get it he's fucked up some shit in enderwalk i don't feel like analyzing this thanks

-OH OH NOTICE HOW HE SAYS "REMEMBERING" WHEN THE LESSONS SHOW UP. IMPLYING THAT THIS ISNT A NEW THING, ITS HAPPENED BEFORE AND NOW HES REMEMBERING IT. MAYBE HE WROTE DOWN THE LESSONS WHEN HE WAS IN ENDERWALK AND NOW THAT HES BEEN EXPERIMENTING ITS BEEN EASIER FOR HIM TO REMEMBER THOSE ENDERWALK MEMORIES

-okokok the experiments are that he's been e x p e r i m e n t i n g on how to purposefully induce the enderwalk state. and we know now that it wasn't from the pain of the water because on the stream afterwords he said that it's caused by the intense fear of something happening. and so the "side effects" of the experiments is that since he's in enderwalk more often(?) he starts remembering more things from it

-OH MY GOD WAIT "there is a reason sam, there's so many reasons, theres ninety three of them" (44:47) WHAT IF EVERY LESSON IS TIED TO A QUOTE UNQUOTE "reason" THAT RANBOO THINKS HES A BAD PERSON/NEEDS TO BE LOCKED UP BUT HE SAYS NINETY THREE INSTEAD OF NINETY FOUR BECAUSE THE NINETY FOURTH LESSON DOESNT HAVE A REASON YET/HE DOESNT REMEMBER IT HAVING A REASON

-dude honestly the whole sam part hurts so much this man is scarily good at acting

-46:46 "i cant put you in the prison you wouldn't be able to see michael anymore" bestie that's the point he doesn't want to accidentally hurt michael or tubbo in the enderwalk state—

-okay but there's no way that sam couldn't tell that ranboo was at least TRYING to confess to something- i feel like he definitely knows more than he's letting on because usually like when people do bad shit or admit to doing bad shit he's like in Prison Guard Mode™️ (he literally cut off ponk's arm because he stole some keycards or something) and whatever and idk what he knows but he definitely knows something and is trying to protect ranboo. or he's trying to manipulate him or smth either one works—

-50:38 "you are a good person" "i am?" you can hear my heart shatter. "yes you are" "i don't think so sam" "i do, even if you don't" "i really don't think so" and there it goes again

-51:25 hello badboyhalo i see you to the left of ranboo

-52:44 "but then my curiosity got the best of me" curiosity killed the cat, bitch

-52:54 "there's ninety three, ninety four, ninety- theres so many reasons!" SEE!! NOT ONLY ARE THERE THAT MANY LESSONS THERE ARE REASONS THAT CORRESPOND IM S O SMART—

-52:56 "i don't want to remember anymore!" *quietly brings forth my theory that when ranboo loses a canon life his memory gets wiped*

-53:13 "ive opened pandora's box" isn't the prison?? literally called pandora's VAULT??? so this m a y be a stretch but i'm thinking that maybe this could be taken in the literal sense that he "opened" the prison and let dream out (the sirens at the end of quackity's stream confirm that dream is indeed out)

-53:42 mans just straight up walked through a ghost i—

-55:37 so are we just gonna ignore the eleventh page of the book? "he's alive, but hopefully soon dream won't be"??? alright nevermind it's most likely bc when tommy came back he recruited ranboo in his plan to kill dream

-55:47 notice how he writes "what am i?" as opposed to "who am i?" no elaboration here idk what it could be

-56:08 just so it's clear for anyone who doesn't know- he's wearing armor at this point, and i'm like 90% sure that when he wears his armor water can't hurt him. and i saw someone say somewhere that like with splash potions when thrown it turns into a gas-like thing? so again, it didn't hurt him, he didn't get hurt. he said in the chill stream that he wasn't comfortable making it where his character had to hurt himself to do that. the thing that causes the enderwalk isn't pain, it's intense and sudden emotions like fear and stress. thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[glassworkspiderlilies]

every ribbon you used (to tie yourself to me)

Genshin Impact | Albedo & Rhinedottir, Albedo/Lumine | AO3 Summary: A life is created within a flask and learns to be human. A shooting star from another world falls to the earth. There are words for such things, and for when such things come together. And when they fall apart. (Sometimes, even when a Prince and a Princess meet against the odds, they do not get idyllic ever afters.) Notes: approx 9k words. another albelumi fic that i basically speedwrote to ride the strength of my albedo feelings before xiao drops bc i don’t trust my own fickleness!! aka...will i abandon my sad good boy for one (1) sad rudeass boy....:'(

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“Look at her, touching his cheek to make a truce, her fingers cool with spring rain; in thin grass, bursts of purple crocus—

even here, even at the beginning of love, her hand leaving his face makes an image of departure and they think they are free to overlook this sadness.”

—From “The Garden”, by Louise Glück

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Albedo’s first memory is, of course, of his Master. His vision is filled with her when he is newly born, and though the sight from within the flask is a little distorted, he knows the hands that created him. Much later, when he gains the knowledge to formulate opinions, he will describe her as stern and severe, but at present, scant moments after his birth, his Master smiles at him with something that might be affection.  

Otherwise, Albedo does not remember much of his early, early life. Still so new to existence as a whole, it was a long process to just learn—to learn to learn. He starts from the very basics on how to function like a human being, especially once he outgrows his flask. By all appearances, he is a human, and the differences are minute, or simply indiscernible by humans proper.

To breathe, to eat, to talk, to move. The constant asking of questions comes much later, when he becomes an actual thinking being—and that is when he earns his name too: Albedo, the stage of alchemy in which change begins. Rhinedottir is exceedingly patient with him, never once growing angry at the crawling slowness of this entire process.

She knew, and still knows, what it means to take responsibility for one’s actions.

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Once Albedo becomes—properly situated, he takes to learning anything and everything with a voracious appetite. This appears to please his Master as she teaches him everything she knows—and her knowledge never seems to run out. She seems to have an answer for everything, though she does not always give them to him so readily, preferring that he come to his own conclusions with less guidance now that he can think for himself. Eventually, she starts asking him questions, knowing he does not have an answer. He learns to formulate his own theories and conduct his own experiments in order to find them, and such projects take anywhere from a few scant minutes to several years. Both of them are rarely working on only one thing; there is always some study or another in progress, and Albedo does not think it remiss to think that Rhinedottir is pleased to have another being keep up with her. His Master has had other students before, he learns, but none whom she could impart her knowledge to so fully, for various reasons.

It is a joy, for a very long time, to live his life like this. There is simply so much, to do and see and hear and figure out. But as the months pass, then years, then decades…life begins to grow monotonous.

It is not that he begrudges it overmuch—Rhinedottir still has things to teach, orders to give, and expectations to be met, which only increase in difficulty. Still, he comes to recognize a certain dullness in his pattern, and he cannot fully ignore this knowledge now that he is aware of it.

Nevertheless, his routine has been as such for so long that he does not even consider the possibility of it changing.

But it does, one day, when the sky lights up in a brilliant blaze of solar gold and electric white, and a shooting star plummets to the earth.

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It is a phenomenon that even his Master has never seen in all her years, so it is inevitable that they go searching. The landing site of the mysterious star is not so far away according to Rhinedottir’s calculations, which furthers the imperative nature of their search—for how could they pass up such a golden opportunity for an absolutely unprecedented study? Albedo feels excitement beat warm in his chest, primarily owed to his Master’s enthusiasm. It is a new expression on her, this anticipation, which he finds fascinating; it is exceedingly rare that he is able to observe new facets of his Master. Even after all this time, there is still much he does not know about her, and she thus remains one of the greatest mysteries in his life.

Neither of them make any fantastical preemptive guesses as to what they might find from such an occurrence, but they do consider unusual possibilities—though logically, the basis will likely be rock Yet despite their openness of mind, they are not prepared to find what they do: an unconscious young girl, dressed in foreign white clothes, curled up in the center of a scorched crater.

Rhinedottir, usually always so sure of herself, checks her coordinates again to make sure there is no mistake.

“Well,” she says finally, moving closer to the figure, “This is unexpected, indeed.”

She tries to wake the girl to no avail. Albedo half-unpacks their supplies to take out his sleeping bag, unzipping it and laying it over the strange girl in attempts to keep her warm. After she is neatly tucked in, the two of them set up camp a little ways away, so as not to startle her overmuch with strangers looming over her when she does wake.

The girl opens her eyes as they are making dinner for the night, the slight rustling of the sleeping bag alerting Albedo and Rhinedottir of her wakefulness. They watch from the distance as she sits up, slow and lethargic as if every bone in her body hurts. She turns her head to the side a little then looks up to the sky, not yet spotting them, coming to the realization that she is in an unfamiliar place.

A small sound escapes her, like an aborted sob, hopeless and despairing.

It is at that moment that the wood in their fireplace pops, and her head swivels around at the loud noise. She throws herself back when she spots them, a sword suddenly in her hand, her stance combative; she says—something, her voice sharp and demanding, but they do not understand whatever language it is that she speaks.

Rhinedottir raises an eyebrow at the sudden appearance of a weapon from thin air, but puts out her hands in a placating manner to show that she means no harm. The girl glances at Albedo, who inclines his head towards her in greeting and continues to stir the stew that is beginning to bubble.

Her sword disintegrates from her grip as she does so, much to the alchemists’ surprise. To her credit, she seems to work out the situation fairly quickly, and slowly makes her way to the fire. It is not so much trust but logic that wins out—given their already laid out camp, if they had wanted to do her harm, they would have done so earlier when she was unconscious. She does not miss the sleeping bag that had been draped over her either, and brings it with her, saying something that might be a thanks when Albedo reaches out to take it.

Gingerly, she sits down, drawing her knees up and crossing her arms atop them as she stares into the flames, then looks between Rhinedottir and Albedo. She says—or asks—something, but neither Master nor student can understand her, and they reply so in Teyvat Common. She furrows her brows and tries again, as if testing whether or not they are pretending, a lengthy monologue spilling forth. But after a while, they notice that the sounds and syllables change every so often, and realize that she must be trying other languages as well.

But no matter how many she knows, it becomes apparent that she does not know Common.  

Her distress grows as they fail to recognize sentence after sentence, and she eventually falls quiet, looking close to tears before she buries her face in her arms. Rhinedottir is nevertheless even more fascinated, for even though they cannot communicate at present, it is evident that the girl is something extraordinary.

Albedo too, is curious, if perhaps in a different way. There is something—familiar, about her situation, something that he thinks he might be able to understand. He finds himself reaching out a hand, lightly touching her arm to draw her attention. She raises her head, blinking as she focuses on him, her eyes both wary and despairing.

He points to himself, then enunciates his name very slowly.

“Al-be-do,” he says, and then, pointing to his Master, “Rhine-do-ttir.”

The girl’s lips purse, and he repeats himself several times, until finally she puts a hand to her chest and stares him straight in the eye. He does not think he mistakes the brief flash of gratitude before she speaks.

“Lu-mine,” she says, and Albedo smiles.

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Lumine has nowhere else to go, of course, and so it is a given that she travel with them. She seems alarmed at first when they pack up their camp, but is relieved when Albedo holds out his hand, and tilts his head in question.

She doesn’t take it, but she nods and follows after them.  

She is merely a silent shadow for some time, trailing along and watching them perform their experiments, both combined and separate. It is interesting that she raises her brows at the alchemy, yet does not seem entirely surprised at the art.

Even so, she is not dead weight. She is an able fighter, a fair huntress, and surprisingly, a decent cook. For the two alchemists whose meals tend to be the same time after time and primarily focus on nutritional value only, her cooking skill may perhaps be the most valuable skill that she can offer.

Lumine’s most interesting skill, however, is solidly her fighting prowess. It’s the sword-summoning she had done that first night that draws their attention the most, initially, the weapon appearing out of thin air and disappearing the same way. She seems confused by their fascination with it, but patiently performs it a few times for their observation.

The three of them soon form a comfortable routine. Lumine does not speak again for quite some time, and while the alchemists are intensely curious, they give her the space that she needs. There is no point to rushing her.

When she does finally begin to warm, however, it is Albedo that she begins drifting closer to. It is likely because he looks to be of the same or similar age, and compared to the forbidding severity of Rhinedottir’s countenance, he is much more approachable.  

Rhinedottir watches, the first time that Lumine engages Albedo first, bringing him an apple and making a questioning noise. He blinks at her, looking at the fruit in her hand.

“Apple?” he asks, and she tilts her head at him.

“Apple?” she repeats, very slowly, adjusting her mouth around the sounds.

“Apple,” Albedo repeats, also very slowly as he touches the fruit, understanding now what she is trying to do.

“Apple,” Lumine says back, with the proper accent, her lips quirking up in a smile.

She says something more, then, and of course he does not understand, but she gestures to various things around her, then points back to herself. She taps two fingers to her lips, then holds them out to him, and then gestures between them both.

“Ah,” Albedo says, smiling back, “Yes, I will teach you.”

Rhinedottir watches this all, and wonders about the results that will come out of this union.  

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Lumine is a quick learner, picking up the basics of the language in a few scant months. In return, she begins teaching them a little of her own language—the one of her homeland, they learn much later on—but the accents and conjugations are much harder to get down, so utterly different from Common as it is.

Albedo takes to it far better, as he practices it more, fascinated by this new thing to learn given to him outside of his Master’s expectations. Lumine is inordinately pleased once he starts to string sentences together properly, and Albedo finds that he enjoys her pleasure.

In any case, they finally start to learn Lumine’s story from her in bits and pieces. She and her twin brother, Aether, spent their time traveling different worlds, but at some point, they had been blocked by some unknown god, and cruelly separated. The last she saw, the god had sealed her brother into a small red prison, and then done the same to Lumine.

When she woke up, she was here and stranded, without much of her previous powers.

Now, with enough language finally at her disposal, she can finally ask the question she has wanted to since the beginning, though she knows the answer by now.

“Have you seen him?” she asks, and Rhinedottir shakes her head.

“No, child, my apologies,” she says, and despite expecting this, Lumine’s face falls a little before she composes herself.

“I see,” she says softly, looking down.

She hesitates before she speaks again, meeting Rhinedottir’s eyes with determination, and without fear.

“I will leave you one day,” she says, and Rhinedottir smiles faintly.

“We all leave one another someday, child,” she replies, and Albedo glances at her, then at Lumine as well. “But you will stay for now, will you not?”

Lumine looks up at the sky for a moment before answering.

“Yes. I will.”

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The years continue to pass less dully. Lumine picks up more and more of the common language, Albedo continues to pick up more and more of hers. She also learns a bit of alchemy during this time, enough to play assistant to the two alchemists proper if necessary.

And—also during this time, she consents to have tests and experiments run on her, in attempts to understand her better and perhaps find a way to regain her past abilities. Though she shows a little apprehension at first, the tests turn out to not be even remotely fearsome; she drinks potions and has her movements observed, and though the potions are not tasty and the physical regiments are sometimes rather strenuous, the tests are almost boring.

It is Albedo who does most of the testing and observing and compiling of research on Lumine, later bringing his notes to Rhinedottir for review. His Master is content to let the two youths spend more time together as she focuses on her own work—and anyway, unbeknownst to them, she is conducting her own new study. Albedo has grown much since his creation, and she tracks each minute difference—which have grown more steadily now—with precision. Lumine still has many unfathomable mysteries about her, but even so, Rhinedottir can see the changes about her as Albedo teaches her the names of various flowers and words like “grace”, “strength”, and “gentleness”.

In return, Lumine teaches him the words for “happiness”, “kindness”, and “warmth”.

These children know not what it is they are doing, Rhinedottir thinks, as she watches Lumine trace letters onto Albedo’s bare palm, but oh, she does, old crone as she may be.

And so, she watches, and does nothing to encourage or deny them.

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Albedo cannot yet recognize what the slow molten, seeping feeling is that is growing inside of him, only that it reminds him of rubedo.

Lumine has an inkling of where the path of her feelings could go when she looks into Albedo’s sky blue eyes, but pushes it aside, for she cannot afford to take it.

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He is not meant to share the secret of his birth—or rather, creation—carelessly, but Lumine is not just anybody, and nor does she seem particularly surprised by this revelation when he eventually entrusts her with this knowledge.

“Soil is the origin of alchemy, and the basis of all life,” he explains, using Lumine’s native tongue, for he likes the way her eyes shine when he does so, “And chalk, spotless soil, is the substance which primal life is molded.”

She hums, musing over this new information.

“And stars?” she asks, “What about stars?”

Albedo purses his lips, thinking.

“I don’t know,” he admits, “And it may be too difficult to be able to study, when one is so land-bound.”

She chuckles a little, tilting her head back to look at the sky.

“My first memory is of the sky,” she says, “And the light. So perhaps Aether and I were born of stardust. You said, didn’t you, that the day I appeared, I had looked like a shooting star?”

“It was a brilliant sight,” Albedo says, with a nod, “Neither Master nor I have seen anything like it, in all our years. Hmm…chalk and stardust…I wonder what could be created by the two combined?”

Lumine glances at him, eyebrow raised, but he is not looking at her nor thinking about the implications of what he’s said, hand to his chin in deep thought.

“Well, we are here,” she says after a pause, her tone light, “A child of chalk and a…potential child of stardust. What will you call us?”

He looks at her then, responding without hesitancy.

“Remarkable,” he declares, smiling.

Lumine’s eyes widen at his response, and then she throws her head back and laughs, bright and delighted.

“Yes,” she says, “Yes, remarkable indeed.”

.

There is a market happening in the nearest town, and so Rhinedottir sends Albedo and Lumine on an errand to pick up things they usually cannot get so easily. Normally, the three of them camp out when they can, and head into civilization only if strictly necessary—they cannot conduct the bulk of their experiments in such quarters as an inn. Of course, they must make exceptions when the weather turns for the worse, and there are no caves or such shelter to bunker in. But neither alchemist is overly fond of human interaction, and they avoid it to diminish various complications.

In the past, picking up supplies was a task Albedo had never thought much of previously. But now, with Lumine by his side, he finds that the errand has a new color. They peruse the market, Lumine looking around with more curiosity than he, and Albedo watches her take in the sights and wares. Since the time she has joined them, they have not had many chances to go into towns, and none so far had a market as lively as this—apparently due to some celebration going on.

Just as he is musing what kind of festival might be happening this time of year, he realizes that Lumine is no longer by his side, and has to backtrack a little to find her stopped in front of a taciturn stonecutter’s stall. Her fingers have half-lifted a pendant from his display closer to her as she scrutinizes the stone.

The man’s necklaces are no expert things, their focus mostly on the stones themselves with a chain looped through them, though some are a little more interestingly caged or bound with metal. The rather intimidating stonecutter himself does not push them to buy, and merely watches them with keen eyes as they browse.

“It is a good stone,” Albedo supplies as he steps closer, and Lumine looks to him. The stonecutter smiles faintly as well, pleased that someone is able to recognize its true worth. “I did not know you were interested in such things.”

“It’s the color of your eyes,” Lumine says simply, and Albedo blinks in surprise. “I’ll take this, sir.”

The man’s smile deepens as the transaction is completed, his visage not so frightening like this.

“If I may ask…” Lumine says, just a touch hesitantly, “If I…gave you a stone, could you make another pendant of it, like these?”

The man raises an eyebrow, but gestures for her to show him. She reaches into her pocket, then drops the stone into his palm. The stonecutter’s eyes shoot up when she moves her hand away, and Albedo also blinks at the multicolored facets of a kind of yellow diamond he has never seen before.

“…Best take it to a master,” the man says, but Lumine shakes her head.

“I haven’t the time,” she says, and Albedo blinks at her, unsure why she says such a thing, “Nor do I want this to turn into something too…flashy.”

The stonecutter hums, then shrugs, reaching for some tools, and they wait as he fiddles with the gem. In a few moments, he has it bound up in a simple cage of silver wire, and a chain looped through a little opening. Lumine smiles with satisfaction when he hands it back.

“How much?” she asks, and the man shrugs.

“No need,” he says, “Got to see something incredible. Not every day you get to see a stone like that. I’d like to ask dearly where you got it, but I shan’t.”

Lumine smiles, and pays him for the chain anyway.

They complete the rest of their task with quickly; Lumine says nothing more about her purchases, and Albedo does not ask.  

It is Rhinedottir who notices something remiss with her when they return to their camp in the outskirts.

“Oh,” she says, “It is time, then?”

Lumine’s lips thin, her expression mulish as she tilts her head down a little.

“A few more days,” she sighs, not looking at her. “But no more.”

Albedo attends to his chores, and pretends not to know what they are speaking of.

.

It is a parting gift, the necklace she had made.

She drops it into his palm the day she leaves, looking apologetic. Albedo knew this day would come, of course, but it does not lessen the sting.

He stares at the pendant while Lumine says her goodbyes to his Master.

“You’ve come a long way,” Rhinedottir says, her gaze piercing, “Do you finally feel welcome in this world?”

Lumine glances at Albedo before looking back to the older woman.

“Perhaps,” she says, “But the red god did not call us Outlanders for nothing.”

Rhinedottir shrugs.

“Then make your place,” she says simply, “And you will be an outlander no longer.”

Lumine purses her lips in thought. But she is in no place to consider this with the depth that it needs at present.

“Thank you, Madam,” she says instead, “For your care and teachings all this time.”

Rhinedottir simply cackles and waves her hand before making her way back to the camp, so that the two youths may speak alone. There is no parting gift for her; she has no need for such sentimentality, and she has already been given the greatest gift by being able to observe and test and research this fallen star of a girl.

Lumine turns to Albedo, and the two are silent for a while. Then, she reaches out to take the necklace from his hand, and gently loops the chain over his head.

“Will you stay upset with me long?” she asks quietly.

Albedo looks down at the brilliant stone of the pendant against his chest, turning it this way and that in his fingers. It sparkles in different colors as it catches the light.

“Of course not. It is not—your fault.”

She smiles a little at that.

“Ah, but I am undeniably the cause.”

“We have known since the beginning that you would leave one day, to search out your brother. I must simply confess that I…enjoyed our time together so greatly that I no longer thought of that fact so consciously.”

He finally looks at her, and her breath hitches for a second. They stare at each other for a moment before she reaches into her pocket and pulls out the other necklace she had purchased at the stall, holding it out to him.

“Will you do the same for me, please?” she requests, and he complies.

He steps closer to put the chain over her head, and does not step away when he is done.

“I enjoyed our time, too,” Lumine whispers, her eyes gentle, “More than I thought possible, after I fell to this land. Thank you, Albedo, for…for bringing me back to life.”

He blinks, unnamable emotion welling up inside him, and he does not know what to do.

Lumine reaches out to cup his cheek, her thumb brushing gently across his skin, and he sighs as he leans into her touch.

“Do not forget me,” she murmurs.

“I will not,” he promises.

She smiles, and steps back, his skin cold when her hand leaves him.  

“Goodbye,” she says.

“Goodbye,” he echoes.

He grips the pendant as he watches her go, and cannot help but wonder—

If finding those necklaces at the market spelled her departure…if she had not seen them, if he had not received this gift, would she have stayed a little longer?

.

He mopes afterwards, though he does not know it for what it is. Albedo is ashamed to say that he is unable to properly notice his own behavior until his Master snaps him out of it.

Rhinedottir does not do so in a scolding manner—rather, she brings it up lightly, with amusement.

“Tell me,” she says, her attention more on the bottle in her hand, as she shakes it and considers the changing color, “Do you know what it is you feel?”

He realizes he does not. There is an emptiness inside of him, not exactly great and yawning, but palpable and difficult to ignore. It is heavy even as it is intangible, and though it feels so much like a stone within his chest, he cannot take it and toss it away.

He is not miserable. With Lumine’s departure, his life has simply returned to its old routine with him and his Master. It is not even as dull as he remembers, and he is still glad to be by his Master’s side, learning and working alongside her. There is still value that he finds in his experiments, and meeting his Master’s high (and rising) expectations.

Except—every so often he cannot help but wonder…where is Lumine now, and how is she doing? Has she managed to find clues to her brother’s whereabouts, or has she found him entirely?

At night, Rhinedottir watches her protégé’s face furrowed in deep thought as he reflects upon himself. It is a difficult thing to do, but Albedo has always performed admirably, and this is yet another part of his growth. Distantly, Rhinedottir thinks that for the everyday person in a similar situation, what Albedo is currently experiencing is meant to be part of a rose-colored period in their life.

But she, he, and the one in his thoughts…well, none of them are everyday people.

Rhinedottir tucks a hand under her chin as she muses, ready when Albedo turns to her.

“Master,” he says, perfectly calm, “Is this loneliness?”

Only a faint upward twitch of her lips confirms the correctness of his answer.

“Albedo,” Rhinedottir says, “You have grown up well.”

He blinks, unsure of where this is going. Her praise never comes lightly, and she is not a warm person to give such compliments undue. This acknowledgement makes him…apprehensive.

“And yet, this is only the beginning,” she adds, and Albedo furrows his brows.

Rhinedottir turns away to prevent further discussion. Even with Lumine gone, there is still his Master. Though he has determined what loneliness is, he has not yet realized what it means to be alone.

He has grown well, and continues to do so—but this is not the first of hard lessons, nor will it be the last.

.

Change comes again some years later, in the form of a letter, delivered to them by the hands of a hilichurl.

It is Albedo who receives it. He’d been trying to observe the unique patterns on its mask that he has not seen before, but when it spots him, it calls out to him. His name is mangled, yet still recognizable, but despite the address the hilichurl is wary and holds out the letter as if it thinks it will be the last thing it does.

But it completes its mission; Albedo takes the envelope gingerly, nonplussed at this sudden, unexpected interaction.

The hilichurl scampers away the moment Albedo’s fingers close on the paper and secures it.  

“Master,” he says, when she ambles up beside him, having noticed this interaction from afar, “Have you ever seen the like?”

“No,” she says, her voice absent as she stares at the envelope in his hand. “Open the letter, Albedo.”

He obeys. Inside in a single folded sheet, with a single line in careful print.

I’ve found my place.

“I see,” Rinedottir murmurs.

She looks thoughtful but says nothing else, merely looking to the sky before walking back to their camp.

Albedo stares at the letter, at the familiar handwriting, at the emptiness of the remaining space. He should be glad for Lumine, and gladder still that she has managed to notify them that she is alive and well.

But the fact that it arrives to them after all this time, not from her directly but in the hands of a hilichurl of all things…he knows how to read the letter for what it is.

A severance.

Her place is elsewhere, somewhere out of reach, some place that he cannot understand.

(And yet…to turn the unknown into the known…that is what he does.)

Albedo stays out for a long, long time, until the sun sets, and his fingers turn cold.

.

Rhinedottir watches as her boy stands outside in the wilderness and navigates through heartbreak.

When Albedo comes back to the fire to warm his hands, she smiles a little at the resolution set on his face. He has nothing to ask her.

Yes, she thinks.

Soon, she will have nothing left to teach him.

.

Albedo wakes one morning with his Master nowhere to be found.

Her tools are gone. Her notes are gone. Nearly every trace of the fact he had been traveling with another person is gone.

All she leaves behind is a note, a recommendation later, and the Opus Magnum, the ancient alchemical manuscript which she had so carefully protected during their travels.

He reads her note with trembling hands.

Albedo, when you have put your own affairs in order, go to Mondstadt. Find my old friend, Alice, and give her the recommendation letter. Complete your final assignment.

He surveys the camp once more when he is done, still in disbelief. His Master, Rhinedottir, suddenly gone from his life with nary a warning. He had feared such a thing before, that if he had failed to complete the assignment he’d been given, she would leave him—she had threatened to do so before often enough, as a motivator. But he had and has done everything she has asked, met every expectation and even beyond.

He had not thought that the opposite too could be true, that she would eventually run out of things to teach him, and leave him thus. What she deems her final assignment had not been delivered in any unusual manner the other day. The truth of this world…he had thought like any other task—that she already had the answer, and would watch over him like always as he struggled to reach the same enlightenment.

The sun is already high in the air but the morning is nonetheless dark. He cannot move. The routines he performed with his Master are gone, because his teacher is gone. Nothing is the same. He does not know how to adjust.

Albedo reads her letter over and over again, until he finally reads the recommendation letter she has left too. It is an impersonal detailing of his abilities and accomplishments—so like his Master, and not at all unexpected, and yet he feels emptier having read it.

“Master,” he whispers, “Is this what true loneliness feels like?”

It is more debilitating than he could have guessed.

He watches the sun rise and fall, rise and fall. He does not eat or sleep.

He does a study in hunger, in dehydration. In inertness. He presses his cheek to the ground and watches ants and beetles traverse the dirt. He is not looking to die—though he would not be able to die in this manner to begin with. But nor can he bring himself to move.

And then, one day, a sunsettia plops onto his head.

And then another, and another. He peels his eyes open and looks up to see a hilichurl retreating to a safe distance. It watches as he slowly rises to his knees before running away fully.

If he recalls correctly…it is the same one that had delivered him Lumine’s letter, the one with the unique mask patterns.

Lumine.    

Do not forget me, she had said, and he promised that he would not. But he confesses he did, for this snatch of time where he could not think of anything at all.

Complete your final assignment, Rhinedottir had said, and as her loyal student, his compliance was inherent. But that is not the path is he currently on, nor attempting to be on.

…There are still things he has to do, wants to do.

Albedo eats the sunsettias slowly, and then goes searching for more when his stomach settles. The hilichurl does not appear again, but the reminder was enough. His studies in stagnation are done; they do not achieve what he actually wants to achieve.

Logically, he knows, but pulling himself back together is still slow going. He takes one step at a time, and begins going through the motions of the everyday life he had shared with his Master. It becomes familiar again in due time, and he realizes, perhaps, that Rhinedottir had prepared him for this for quite a long time. He has everything he needs, including the routines, even if he is alone.

The rest depends on him.

For the first time, he cries. He does not realize he is doing so until the tears drip off his chin and onto the back of his hand. It is a curious feeling; a part of him marvels at this new, uncontrolled response, the force of his feelings so overwhelming that he cannot contain them.  

“I am still learning, Master,” he whispers, and wipes the tears away.

When you have put your own affairs in order, Rhinedottir’s letter had begun, and so he shall begin to do so.

The first order of business: to once more find the shooting star that had fallen to the earth.

.

It takes a few months, though even that is sooner than he expected. He spends that time simply roaming…and attempting to communicate with hilichurls. Not all the encounters go well—he cannot always get close, and sometimes even if he can, it results in battle. He does not know how to begin learning their language, but he can observe their culture. He seeks out the shamans and brings food to showcase goodwill, shows Lumine’s necklace to them if he is able to establish communication. Albedo cannot tell if they understand, but he tries anyway, and continues to try.

It pays off.

After many other failed attempts, this group of hilichurls exclaims after looking at the necklace a bit, and gestures wildly for him to follow. They lead him to a field of sweet flowers, and at first, Albedo takes this to be another misunderstanding, sighing.  

But then he sees the Ruin Guard ambling towards it, and the figure perched in its hand.

The Guard stops in front of him, and Lumine’s face is expressionless as her eyes meet his. The Guard lowers its hand for her to step down, and he sees that there are also apples and sunsettias in its palm.

These she gives to the hilichurls, who exclaim in delight, carrying off the fruits immediately. The Guard itself ambles away slowly once its hand is empty.

“You’ve been kind to them,” she murmurs, watching the hilichurls go. “Thank you.”

“Lumine,” he breathes, his voice hushed.

“Albedo,” she says back, turning to face him.

For a moment, it feels like they are meeting for the first time again, though now they already know each other’s names. Like him, she looks the same as she did all those years ago, and yet much has changed since then.

“You’ve been looking for me,” she says, her voice flat, “Why?”

“I felt I was in danger of losing you,” he replies, not at all offput by the coldness of her attitude, “So I came to keep my promise.”

Her expression changes at that, a flicker of pain flashing across her eyes.

“I am not the girl you once knew,” she tells him.

“And yet, my life’s purpose is to turn the unknown into the known.”

Her brows furrow at his response, the corners of her mouth tugging downwards.

“This is not for you to know.”

“All knowledge is worth having. If you will not share it, I will attempt to discover it myself, in due time.”

Her lips thin with displeasure, her eyes bright with anger. He tilts his head a little as he scrutinizes her.

“You let me find you,” he says gently, “Why?”

Lumine tenses and does not answer him.

“You are afraid,” he continues, and she begins stepping back, her eyes wary, “…And you are lonely.”

At that, she hisses and turns away as if she will leave him entirely, but he reaches out to grab her wrist.

She stills at his touch, and does not pull away.

“How funny that I should feel the same,” Albedo says, with something of a self-depreciating laugh.

Her head whips back to look at him, and the two stare at each other before she finally sighs, the tension draining out of her body. She looks…small, like this. Terribly so.  

“Madam Rhinedottir left you,” she says, her voice defeated.

“Yes.”

“You almost died.”

“That is not true, though I was indeed indisposed for some time.”

She raises her eyebrow at that, and he gives her a sheepish look. There is not much more explanation he can give about that, and Lumine shakes her head.

“I did not send that letter so that you would come find me.” she says, her voice distant.

“I know. But why did you send the letter?”

She hesitates before responding.

“…I…thought you would rather know, than not.”

“Ah—a kindness then.”

He smiles a little here, tilting his head just a little teasingly, and her face softens against her will before she turns her face away.

“If…you wish to view it as such.”

A few heartbeats pass before they speak again.

“Are you still searching for your brother?”

“…Yes. But so far, it has been fruitless. I suspect I will only see him when the dust settles. In the meantime…I’ve discovered something else I cannot walk away from.”

“And will you tell me what it is?” he coaxes warmly, but her response is icy.

“Do not ask of me such a thing Albedo, when you are not here to stay.”

He pauses, deliberating whether or not he can answer otherwise to hear her answer, but he will not lie to her. Her lips quirk up at his quietude, but her expression grows melancholy after a moment.

“There is something you cannot walk away from as well,” she says, and he nods.

“My Master’s final assignment is to find the truth of this world,” he says quietly, “I…wonder if I will be able to see her again, when I do.”

Lumine blinks, faintly surprised, though she says nothing on the subject.  

The two fall silent then, looking at each other. Albedo is still holding onto Lumine’s wrist, though neither of them comment on the matter.

After a while, Lumine sighs, and reaches out a hand to touch his cheek.

“Albedo,” she says, switching to the language of her homeland, “I confess it is good to see you. But it was not…a good choice.”

He blinks at her and leans into her touch, holding her gaze.

“I wanted to see you,” he says simply, and she shivers to hear the language from him in return.

“Do not do this again. The next time you find me, I will kill you.”

He smiles a little at that.

“Then when it is time for me to die, I will come to you.”

She frowns, and drops her hand as if burned.

“Ah, so you intend to make me do it,” she says, shaking her head. “You are cruel, Prince of Chalk.”

“It is not about making you do it. It is about having a reason to do so.”

She looks at him sharply, her eyes and posture demanding. But he smiles, and says nothing more. The bargain for this information is not something she is willing to make at present.  

“Don’t come,” she hisses.

“I will, if I must. You have already made the declaration.”

Her jaw is clenched at his refusal, her body trembling slightly, and it is another moment before she speaks again.

“…Then if you must come, at the time, if I am nothing like you remember, if I am no longer who I say…you must be prepared to do the same. You made me a promise. Do not forget me. Me. As Lumine. Do not let a stranger kill you.”

He tugs off one glove, and holds out his hand.

Slowly, she takes it, intertwining their fingers. Hers are warm as his are cool.

“So once more, we make an exchange,” he says lightly.

She blinks at him, then peers at his neck. She reaches under his collar and tugs out the pendant she had gifted him so long ago by the chain, the yellow diamond still glittering as brilliantly as ever. He reaches under her scarf to tug out hers, the blue crystal still beautifully clear and luminous.

Lumine sighs, and leans her forehead against his.

“You make this difficult,” she mutters.

He chuckles.

“Master used to say that if it was easy, you were not learning.”

Her lips quirk up into a wry smile. After a while, she squeezes his hand, and does not let it go when she steps back.

“Go,” she sighs, “This is hard enough already. Do not make it harder.”

He looks at her, then lifts her hand to press her knuckles to his lips.

“Until death unites us, then,” he says, and lets her go.

She does not say goodbye this time, and he does not turn back. She watches him, until he is out of sight, gripping the pendant hanging in the center of her chest so hard it hurts.

.

Mondstadt welcomes him with open arms, and his skill is so far beyond what everyone else is used to that even without the recommendation letter, he could have easily made a place for himself. Even so, he is new to the city, so to make him Chief Alchemist is too hasty still.

He does not mind; he does not need a position at all, so long as he is still allowed use the resources that they have.

Instead, he accompanies his Master’s friend, Alice, and her little daughter Klee, on various adventures to better acclimate himself to the country. It is very different than traveling with his Master; Alice is rambunctious and destructive, attentions everywhere all at once with whatever new thing catches her interest. Klee watches her mother with big eyes and a wide smile, and listens with rapt focus whenever Alice sits her down to teach her how to make bombs. (Surely that is not conventional, but…Albedo has not exactly lived a conventional life, and does not have “normal” parenting to compare Alice’s to.)

It is chaotic, and yet he does not wholly mind. It is a new experience to consider.

And yet…in three years, Alice too is gone. She leaves Klee with Albedo and the Knights of Favonius, and then she and her partner are gone in a flash, into the depths of the world.

Klee holds Albedo’s hand tightly when her parents leave with nary a backwards glance, and he squeezes it gently back, understanding her feelings. They are similar—an absent mother and an absent Master, the ones left behind and lonely, their abilities just a little too much for Mondstadt’s walls.

He and Klee sleep side-by-side that night, and for a little while to come. But the little girl handles it better than he, ultimately; she is perky and bright within a few days, pouring her attentions into crafting new bombs and terrorizing the fish in Starfell Lake. (He mitigates this where he can, but…Klee’s shenanigans become commonplace and well known amongst the Knights as they all pitch in to watch her.)

During their travels, Alice had said they were now a family, and that Albedo could call her Mother, if he so wished. But he did not, and the word stuck oddly when he tested it.

But as for Klee…it is not so strange to call her little sister. She had already endeared herself to him early on, with an unprecedented affection so whole and pure and innocent. Despite his lack of previous interaction with children, he does well in caring for her, and he cannot help but marvel a little at the responsibility of watching over another life like so, perhaps a little like the way his Master had when he was brought out of his flask.

They are, perhaps unexpectedly, a good pair. With Klee, Albedo learns about a different kind of contentment, and comfort. There are nights, after Klee has had a nightmare and Albedo simply cannot sleep, that they sit together and watch the stars with a hot drink, or go out to catch fireflies. Together, they forget to be lonely.

“Albedo,” Klee says sleepily on one such stargazing and hot-drink night, nestled up beside him, “I’m really glad that you came to Mondstadt.”

Albedo strokes his sister’s hair, and smiles tenderly.

“Thank you, Klee,” he murmurs, picking her up with great care to put her to bed, “I’m very glad I did too.”

.

Regardless of previous misgivings, Albedo gains two titles, aside from the one his Master left him, very quickly: Chief Alchemist, and Captain of the Investigation Team. He is truly a Knight of Favonius by the time this happens, with even his bladework adjusted to better suit their style.

Besides Klee—and Sucrose and Timaeus, whom he has taken under his tutelage in the past months—he still primarily keeps to himself. He is satisfied with the relationships he has, and is not interested in cultivating too many new or deeper ones. The work that is required for such things…it is troublesome.

The official assignments required from him by the Knights are, quite frankly, easy, just barely requiring five percent of his energy. But this suits him just fine, as it allows him ample time for his own pursuits.

His life in Mondstadt is colorful, and though here too he forms his routines, there is never a dull moment—especially with Klee, and two students to teach.

Albedo wonders if something like this was the reason his Master sent him to Mondstadt. He is…happy here, in this gentle and free city.

He wonders if, as they had traveled the world just the two of them for so long, his Master had been, too.

.

He is not in the city proper when Stormterror attacks, but he hears about the Traveler the moment he returns. The knights on duty inform him that the young man and his floating companion had been taken to see Jean in her office, and then the group of them had headed out again afterwards posthaste. Albedo walks towards Headquarters with renewed curiosity, but expects he’ll hear more about everything in due time, and simply goes to his workshop as usual.

There is a knock on his door a little while later, and he calls for whoever is on the other side of the door to come in. He is observing the color change of a potion in his hands, and turns only when it has settled into the proper pale shade.

When he finally looks up from the bottle, he nearly drops it in surprise.

A young man in foreign clothes stands next to Jean, about the same height as Albedo, if perhaps a touch taller. He is slim, his long blond hair tied in a braid, his golden eyes open and curious. A small fairy-like child floats next to him, but Albedo’s focus is on the Traveler, and blinks as he takes in his visage.

They are not identical, but nevertheless, Albedo knows him for who he is.  

“Good afternoon, Albedo,” Jean greets, “You must have already heard the stories, but this is the Traveler, Aether, who I’ve deemed an Honorary Knight of Favonius for his assistance. His companion is Paimon.” She gestures back and forth as she introduces everyone. “This is Albedo, Chief Alchemist and Captain of our Investigation Team.”

“Hiya!” Paimon says, waving cheerfuly while Aether dips his head politely in greeting.

“Hello,” Albedo returns, finally settling down the bottle into a rack. “Thank you, for your service to Mondstadt. What brings you here to see me?”

“He is looking for his sister,” Jean explains, and Albedo keeps his face impassive. “I was hoping that he might sit with you awhile to tell you about her, and you could sketch her likeness for some missing person posters?”

“Ah,” Albedo says. “Yes, of course. I will clear some space.”

“Excellent,” Jean smiles, making to leave. “My thanks, Albedo. And—Aether, Paimon, please get some rest afterwards. Arrangements with the inn have been made, and they are ready to accommodate your stay for as long as you need.”

Aether bobs his head again, murmuring a thank you, and in the next moment it is just the three of them.

Albedo is curious about the floating child, but…he puts this aside for now, clearing some notes off a stool for the Traveler to sit. He does so gingerly, looking around the workshop with fascination. Paimon floats, of course, but she moves this way and that in excitement.

“We heard that you’re really great at drawing—Paimon can’t wait to see a master at work!” she exclaims, and Albedo smiles wryly.

“I hope I will not disappoint,” he demurs, as he moves around to locate his materials.

“Thank you, for agreeing to do this,” Aether adds, hesitating a little on the words. “I’m sorry—my mastery of the language is…not so good, yet.”

Albedo prepares the proper paper and pencils, then glances at him sidelong.

“You speak it well, but would you prefer to use a language more comfortable to you?” he asks, and watches Aether’s eyes go wide with shock.

A heartbeat passes, and Aether rises from his seat—

And slams Albedo into the wall by the collar, his hands fisted into his shirt.

It is an aggressive action, yet not one fueled by violence, but desperation. Aether’s eyes are begging as they well up with tears, and his entire body trembles. Paimon watches with her hands over her mouth, completely taken aback by this turn of events and unsure of what to do.

“Where? How?” Aether chokes out, his voice raw, “Tell me—you’ve met her, haven’t you? She taught you. There is no one else left besides she and I who know this tongue.”

“It was many years ago,” Albedo says, putting his own hands gently over Aether’s. There is already a lot understood in that statement; neither Albedo nor Aether are quite human, and neither are quite willing to reveal such personal secrets so openly just yet. “The last I saw her was in a nameless flower field, when I was on my way to this city. I know not what she is doing, nor where she is now. I am sorry.”

Aether loosens his hold, breathing ragged, and steps back.

“I am sorry too, for my reaction,” he says, running a hand through his hair, still distressed. He paces a little, unsure of what to do with all the adrenaline thrumming in his veins. “It has been…quite some time, that I’ve heard our language, and from someone other than Lumine.”

“No harm done,” Albedo assures him, though he suspects his back will be a little sore.

The two regard each other for a moment, and Paimon looks between them.

“Will someone please explain what is going on?!” she demands, and Aether rubs the back of his head sheepishly.

“He…knows a language I thought was lost,” Aether says, then pins her with his gaze. “Paimon…you can’t mention what happened here to anyone else, I mean it. Please.

“Wha? Paimon doesn’t get it, but…if you say so. It’s unfair to leave Paimon out, though!”

“I’m sorry,” Aether says, ruffling her hair. “I’ll…explain to you later. And I’ll buy you more Sticky Honey Roast.”

“Yes! Alright, Paimon will do whatever you say!”

Albedo smiles a little, and motions for Aether to sit.

Neither are sure how much to reveal, and also in front of Paimon, so they go through the motions of the situation. Aether describes Lumine in vast detail, and though Albedo does not need it, it is fascinating to hear of her through the eyes of her brother, and match his words to what he knows.

By the end, Paimon marvels over the final drawing, and Aether goes quiet over the portrait. It is a remarkable likeness, down to the way she holds herself and the gleam in her eye.

“Thank you,” Aether murmurs, and Albedo knows he means more than just for the drawing.  

“Alright then! Let’s go to Good Hunter now!” Paimon cheers, and flies off first without waiting for an answer.

Aether lingers, as expected, handing back the sketch with reluctance so that it can be copied.

“You may have the original, once the posters are produced,” Albedo tells him, and Aether smiles.

“My thanks,” he says, then hesitates before continuing. “Please…could we meet up again? I’d…like to speak more to you, about…a few things, really, but about Lumine especially. And...I cannot express how much it means, to be speaking this again.”

“I may be difficult to find,” Albedo admits, “But if you can get word to me, I will make time. I would like to speak to you, as well.”

Aether’s smile is brilliant, and he leaves the workshop in a mood just as bright.

Albedo watches him go, and wonders what to tell him, and how much. He looks at the sketch in his hand, unsure of the result of putting up these posters will be. There may be a danger in that it is too good a likeness.

She had said…not to look for her. The next time you find me, I will kill you. But surely that did not apply to Aether, whom she was looking for to begin with all the years.

He sighs deeply and wonders—

Lumine’s goals, and the truths she has found…what are they?

.

A thousand miles away, underground, Lumine stares down into a pit she cannot see the bottom of, gripping her blue pendant tightly. She holds it over the edge of the abyss, then loosens her fingers, the stone swinging freely.  

After a moment, she sighs.

She retracts her hand, holds her fist to her chest.  

She slips the chain back over her head.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 15x18 “Despair”

WOW TODAY SURE IS A DAY, HUH

-

04:40pm

Y’ALL

I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS

I KNOW WHAT’S COMING

BUT AM I PREPARED?

my post leading up to this: https://almaasi.tumblr.com/post/634003656411381760/i-have-seen-the-spn-spoilers-okay-okay-okay

i found a faster torrent and there are 7 minutes until it’s done I’M GONNA GO WANDER AROUND FOR A BIT BRB

-

04:51pm

window is blacked out

i am as ready as i can be, i think

-

04:52

HERE WE GO

-

omg so much has happened irl i fully forgot what happened at the end of the last ep so THANK U RECAP

-

BILLIE JUST

BOMBED THE EMPTY

WITH JACK

:0

-

05:00

just as i was thinking “aaah billie’s probably lying, jack’s capital D Dead” THERE’S JACK

-

JACK’S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-

05:05pm

nice shot

-

05:07

CHARLIE’S PARTNER IS GORGEOUS AND THIS IS SO HAPPY

they better both make it to the end and out the other side or istg

-

OH NO WHERE DID BABE GO

-

babe is named stevie

BRIng STEVIE BACK

-

05:09

THIS PLACE IS CALLED KIM MANOR

-

we’re like 1/3 of the way into this episode?? damn

-

cas and jack hanging out on the hood of the impala like the brothers did all those years ago

good family talk spot

-

05:13

high quality face

-

05:15

cas: WE DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE USEFUL OR--

cas baby yesssssssssssssssssssssss

these are the words cas can say because he knows them for himself

-

05:19

THE DOTS ON SAM’S PHONE CHAT WITH EILEEN

DISAPPEARING

OH...................

-

05:26

DONNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

oh i wish we’d had more donna and jody :/

-

05:29

dean’s gonna lose cas and then it’s gonna be the sam+charlie+dean “i just lost my lover” club :c

-

05:34

just thinkin about the ending of the final episode

the only two endings i really want are:

everyone we love is somehow alive and they drive into the sunset

they all die but wake up in heaven and there’ll be peace when you are done

or some combination thereof

-

05:37

billie: i didn’t hurt your friends

yeah i thought not

-

bobby vanishes and my eyes flood with tears

that last look between him and sam........

-

wait when was donna from another universe??? or did she die at some point

WOW I’VE FORGOTTEN A LOT

-

05:42

dean: “what do we do, ca--- my heart”

.......

yep

i’m not ready for whatever’s about to happen

-

I’M SO !!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE THE FACT THEY JUST WON’T DIE

AND THEY ALWAYS COME BACK

IS THE SEMI-BOSS FIGHT

I’M LOVING THIS

EVEN THOUGH I HATE IT

-

05:46

this sure is a screenshot huh

-

05:49

/mutes discord bc this needs all of my attention

-

05:51

cas’ eyes are starting to tear up and he’s smiling as he starts to talk and ohhhhhhhhh here it comes

-

05:53

there’s.

literally.

a wall.

between them.

talk about SYMBOLISM

-

jensen’s pupils are so wide right now holy shit

-

“you are the most caring man on earth”

dean looking at these words like it’s news to him

;~;

cas

thank you for saying these things we’ve all been yelling at the screen for years

-

05:58

DEAN HAS CAS’ BLOODY HANDPRINT ON HIS JACKET

........i can’t let myself believe that was it

THERE WILL BE MORE

SURELY

like

in no conceivable world do the writers get this far, give us THAT, and have it never be mentioned again or properly resolved

hello yes i’m waiting for the magic ritual where cas’ bloody handprint plays a part

-

06:02

yeah i mean

if they saved the whole world multiple times over

everyone’s gotta go

-

oh dean................. oh no

-

GOD

THAT REALLY WAS SOMETHING HUH

i feel like my full reaction is reserved 

because this was half a story. this was one-sided and it was just cas’ monologue. dean has things to say

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT OVER

i know people (misha??) has said it’s a permadeath but i do not believe that, and i don’t believe anything anyone says about what’s coming tbh

i got an anon in my inbox a few weeks ago who correctly predicted this, saying they knew someone on set, but like......... the real ending would be top secret and anything that gets out would not end up in the inbox of some fic author along with a bad vibe. (i didn’t answer it, not wanting to stir up shit.)

that anon said cas isn’t in the last two episodes. except that can’t possibly be true because we, the audience, can see people in the empty, and cas still needs to yell at the empty, and death is in there too... and the empty just wants to sleep so we need to see that too, and cas would be there.

THERE’S MORE TO COME, KIDS

two episodes left

i’m wary of the next one because it’s the deadly duo writing, but they seem to be okayish these days so maybe it’ll be fine

but the finale..... fingers crossed <3

fingers also crossed for a blue georgia, north carolina, and pennsylvania <3

/goes back to cnn livestream because I WANNA WATCH WHEN GEORGIA FLIPS

also. back to spn for a sec. i’m a leeeeeeetle bit mad that the gay black woman disappears first. like i know everyone died but. haven’t we had enough of that??

10/10 even so BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN IT COULDN’T HAVE BEEN BETTER

eh. this show is what it is, and i just gotta accept that, BUT ALSO I THINK WE’RE GENUINELY GETTING SOMEWHERE WITH DEAN AND CAS HERE

but only so long as this actually has a conclusion

which it must do

because this is very much an emotional cliffhanger. cas just emotion-dumped and then fucked off so dEAN’S GOTTA PROCESS AND THEN CHASE HIM

OBVIOUSLY

BECAUSE THAT’S HOW LOVE STORIES WORK

we didn’t watch 15 years of this thing only to be given half of what we wanted in the closing moments, and then get left left high and dry. the writers/producers are clearly willing to give us canon love confessions, and they're not gonna get as far as this, with a finale as tense and dramatic as this, and be like lol dean's straight and only likes cas as a friend........... after he’s dead and died for the joy of their love........... that's beyond madness

and dean needs to SPEAK. there are so many things he’d never said. and he needs to say them to cas. he was basically silent in this conversation and you can’t just say that’s their ending. it’s not their ending.

AND LIKE

IF THIS SHOW AND THIS FINALE AND THIS SEASON HAS PROVED ANYTHING

IT’S THAT NOBODY STAYS DEAD

AND WHATEVER THE WRITER INTENDS, THE CHARACTERS HAVE THEIR OWN DESIRES AND DRIVES

AND FOR THAT REASON, GAY LOVE WILL PIERCE THROUGH THE VEIL OF DEATH AND SAVE THE DAY

[ruffboijuliaburnsides]

OKAY so last night i said something in tags about “ask me about my thoughts on atla post-canon polyamory” 99% because I had typed a bunch of shit in the tags and then accidentally CLOSED THE TAB thus losing said tags, so that was a bummer, BUT like 3 different people reached out wanting to hear about it so HERE GOES. (thanks to @taibhsearachd for rambling this out with me last night)

SO. this started bc we got somehow on the topic of how much we really disliked the whole Aang/Katara kiss at the end of the show.  Not because we’re against them kissing (Aang had to already have turned 13 by then, an innocent kiss is perfectly reasonable for a 13yo in my opinion), but because the placement of the kiss made it so... CENTRAL. We were talking about how we would’ve liked the kiss to have been earlier, preferably before the big finale, and then like... they still could’ve had a soft romantic moment on the balcony but it could’ve been like.  Hand holding or sitting together with Katara’s head on his shoulder.

And Birdie mentioned she’d always liked Zutara back in Ye Olde Tymes because the whole “Aang and Katara get together when they’re barely 13 and 15″ thing just seemed... really untenable if we’re going with endgame, AND it made a lot of sense to get Katara and Zuko together politically, especially since there’s nooooo princess up north anymore since she turned into the moon and all. But the resurgence of the fandom (thank you for once Netflix!) has opened our eyes to ZUKO AND SOKKA and that’s fuckin amazing but now we’re back to square one in re: Aang and Katara. But then I realized that we can fix all of this with a) allowing for healthy breakups of relationships that don’t work yet but might work when the people involved have grown/processed things, and b) extensive polyamory.

And so here’s my thought:

Aang and Katara break up for a while probably not long after the end of book 3.  They’re fucking kids, they’re traumatized kids no less, and they both have a lot of shit they need to deal with both personally and in the world that isn’t really conducive to “baby’s first serious relationship”.  They’re still friends, they view it as “well... let’s maybe try again in a few years if we’re both still interested”.  All their friends are aware of this and supportive and in the end it’s healthy for both of them bc their traumas and coping mechanisms didn’t always play nice with each other even BEFORE all the fallout from the finale and having to take on more responsibility in the world and such.

Zuko properly gets with Sokka and Suki during this time, though there’s no talk of like. Marriage or anything. Yes, Sokka’s politically got the same sort of appeal as Katara, but the thing about politically advantageous marriages at that level is there’s sort of the assumption that you’ll be, y’know, having heirs, so Sokka’s not really cut out for that and Suki flat out refused to be official Fire Lady or whatever.

So once Katara and Aang are older, like Aang’s 17 and Katara’s 19 and Zuko’s sitting over here at 21, and his advisors are all “ok but seriously Fire Lord Zuko, we really should look into at least a BETROTHAL of some sort” and he just sighs, and they’re bringing up all these Fire Nation ladies and he’s like “no it’s gotta be more diplomatic than that, she shouldn’t be Fire Nation” and so one of them’s like “well, uh, that water tribe lady you’re friends with, she’s set to be a pretty strong leader as she gets older, that would be a good way to do it.  Or that blind Earth Kingdom--” “NOT TOPH.” “ok but seriously, tho, think about it your majesty”

So Zuko’s torn because he really does like Katara, and she’d be an amazing Fire Lady in addition to being an amazing... whatever her title would be down in the Southern Water Tribe (I definitely picture her and Sokka basically being the leaders of the pan-tribal council - he handles military and adjacent stuff and she handles the rest).  But Katara’s with Aang again FINALLY not that they’ve made a big deal of it outside their friends.  BUT he knows that y’know... people can be with more than one person.  Hell, look at him and Sokka and Suki, right?

So he goes to talk to Aang like “I want to make sure I run this past you so she doesn’t have to try and do it, because I’m the one even bringing it up, and it’s obviously up to her, BUT here’s the sitch”.

And see, the thing about the Air Nomads is it really doesn’t make sense to me that they’d have the same kind of ideas about like.  Monogamy and parenthood and relationships as other nations, ‘cause like.... the kids are clearly raised communally.  Like, I vote ‘you probably know who your parents are but really all the adults are your parents, maybe you get an extra cake from them on your birthday but that’s about it’ for the most part. And y’know being with who you want to be with sort of thing. Sure you’ll have people you might be more committed to, but by and large the general consensus is “love who you love, whoever and however many people that is!”

So Zuko’s all prepared to angst for even ASKING if Aang would mind playing technical second fiddle in an heir-producing/marriage/inheritance/etc sense to HIM, ugh what if Aang hates him for even thinking it? and Aang’s just like “oh yeah that’s cool dude, if she’s down go for it! You wanna talk to her together? I don’t mind being there to reassure her it’s ok, and that you weren’t asking me permission to ask her so much as you were making sure it wouldn’t upset me if you did, and all that” and Zuko’s like “...what. I.  Ok sure?”

And Katara does like Zuko, she just y’know, also liked Aang and didn’t want to GIVE UP Aang, but Zuko’s like “it’ll be good for our people, and I’d never make you stay in the fire nation full time you have your own responsibilities and also you don’t have to stop being with Aang or even like hide it or anything, it’s not like people don’t know I’m with Sokka and stuff, it’s just, y’know, OFFICIAL HEIRS and stuff” and so she’s like “Oh!  Oh, yeah, that’s good, we can have a couple kids and stuff”

But ofc they end up a lot closer than “just a couple kids” but it’s sweet!  She has kids with Zuko and kids with Aang and really as long as one of them turns out a firebender (can the avatar have a kid of any bending type? NO ONE KNOWS but Zuko’s advisors are prepared to accept it at this point) so long as they end up with A VIABLE HEIR that Zuko will claim etc etc.

And of course Zuko and Sokka and Suki have a couple kids whose parentage is uncertain not that they really CARE, and Suki and Aang aren’t really into each other romantically but when they’re a bit older they discuss it and decide to have a kid just so they can have a shot at a potential airbender baby, because heck yeah rebuilding the airbenders, might as well get some extra genetics up in this ish.

And these kids are all largely raised together in this big pack of like 10 kids of varying ages who move between 2 or 3 different homes, and Zuko rules the Fire Nation and Sokka and Katara lead the southern water tribes, and Aang does his Avatar thing, and they all spend as much time together as possible with the kids and Suki and some of her girls from Kyoshi Island are the main people ALWAYS THERE for the kids.

And there’s at least one kind of each bender in the group (bc you can’t tell me it’s 100% you have to have a bending parent, considering neither Katara’s mother or father were benders, so one of Suki’s kids is DEFFO an earthbender) and they’re a chaotic bunch and sometimes the Gaang forgets which one of them provided the genetics for which kid but really it doesn’t matter bc they’re ALL the kids’s parents, and all the kids are ALL their kids, and it’s a big happy messy disaster of a polycule that the Fire Nation nobility and advisors despair over, but they can’t deny that it seems to be working out pretty well and that the Fire Lord is good at his job and pretty damn happy, so they don’t bitch too much about it.

...Also at some point Sokka and Toph discuss dating and end up sort of doing it for a while but then going back to being friends, but she does ABSOLUTELY get him to father one of her kids, which she then declares firmly she made out of a rock and bended to life, and most people are preeeeetty sure she’s full of shit but can’t fully discount the possibility and only the Gaang knows the truth.

so yeah that’s my avatar polyamory thoughts, it is not canon-compliant with legend of korra but who cares this is my imagination and headcanon and LoK doesn’t play into it at all. *nod*

[spookypotato]

Maybe a fic where after Sirius’ ankle is broken initially ( like the first couple of hours after) they think he won’t be able to play again because the doctors thought it was worse than it was and the team are told to prepare for the worst and we get to see their reactions :(

Sorry lol I’m just OBSESSED with your writing, I get so giddy reading them bc they are so so perfect

Thank you so, so much! It means a lot someone enjoys my writing that much. And please dont apologise for giving me good ideas to write and compliments that make my day!💛

Okay, I don't know if this is what you wanted. But I hope you like it anyway! Sorry I took longer than last time. I haven't forgotten about any prompts, I just had a bit of a block.

Characters, again, by the wonderfully talented @lumosinlove! Thank you!💜

The lights were too bright. But Sirius tired to open his eyes anyway. James was sitting next to him. How the hell had he gotten into his house?! Then memories came back, cracking of bones, emergency sirens, a stadium erupting in booing noises.

He was in the hospital. His foot hurt a lot less than he expected, but it was also in a splint at the moment.

As soon as James noticed, that Sirius was awake -or at least had his eyes semi open- he hugged him rather aggressively.

"Mate, idiot, I thought you were dying!", James voice was muffled by the pillows.

"I did tell him, that you would 100% survive, though.", Remus interrupted Sirius thought process.

Not really being able to say anything yet, he just took in the scene he was presented with.

The cubs, off to the far left of his room, had probably just stopped playing a game with Olli. The cards were all over the table and Sirius couldnt even try to guess what they had been playing. But they were all facing him now.

Next to them Kasey sat a bit further away, but clearly in a position were he could look into Logans and Finns cards and observe the game.

In the middle of the room stood Kuny, Nado, Dumo, Thomas and pretty much their whole team. They barely fit into the room.

To the left stood Arthur and Moody, both relieved at him being awake. They had probably been discussing something about the season.

Right on his bed sat James. Still hugging him. Sirius wouldn't put it past him, to just stay like that for the next few days. Lily was sitting next to his bed on the right, reading her magazine. She was clearly not surprised about James' behaviour.

And then there was Remus. Probably sitting the closest to him after, off course James. Right to his left. There was no magazine or playing cards or even his smartphone anywhere close to him. He might have just arrived. Although he did look a bit too tired for that. Remus looked relieved, but also somehow pained.  Sirius didnt know if it was, because of his ankle or because of something else.

His thoughts were interrupted by James, again. "Sirius, are you with us?"

Now the whole room was staring at him.

"Ouais, je suis réveillé.", it came out as a raspy sound. "Can I-", he coughed. "Can I have some water, please?"

James got his water not even a split second after, from his bedside table. He almost spilt the contents over the hospital sheets.

After he drank the entire cup in one go, he put it back next to his bed. He only realised now that there were flowers and chocolate there.

Chocolate- how ironic. No one in a hockey team would ever gift another hockey player chocolate. It wasnt on their meal plan. How long would he be gone, if he was allowed to eat chocolate?! He would be able to play again, right? Panic went through his entire body.

That moment a doctor came in. Everybody looked at her expectantly.

"Mr. Black", she started, "you broke your ankle, and you were in surgery, a few hours ago. I'm glad to see you have already woken up. That's a good sign. I have to inform you however that there were complications with the surgery, so you'll probably not be allowed to leave for at least the next week. Also-"

"I'm sorry, doctor, but that wont be possible.", Sirius interrupted her. "We have a very important game this weekend, and not only do I need to play, but I need to practice. I can stay no longer than today."

I would have been funny, that Sirius Black tried to debate with a Doctor about his body's state, but in this situation the doctors expression seemed to morph into a sad one.

"I wasnt suggesting it, Mr. Black. You will stay here, for at least a week. After that, we'll check on your state and if we decide to let you go home, you'll have to rest for at least 10 weeks to let the bone fully heal"

"But-", Sirius tried to say, but was cut of by the doctor again.

It was like a child complaining about not being allowed to have a certain toy.

"Once your bone has fully healed, you'll need to learn how to properly walk on it again."

"And afterwards I can start practice again?", Sirius sounded like he at least tried to accept his fate. He wouldn't be able to play the whole season.

"I dont think that will be what's happening. I'm sorry to inform you, but at the moment, it doesn't look like your ankle would handle the pressure of being on the ice in a professional state again."

"Does that mean he can never play again?", James asked, his voice sounded a bit shot.

It was only then that Sirius realised again, that he wasnt alone in the room.

"As it is now, no. I'm sorry. It could potentially change, but it is highly unlikely", the doctor told them. Even she didnt seem as neutral now as when she appeared. But then again, all of gryffindor loved their lions. She was probably almost as devastated as any other person in gryffindor.

"Thank you", was the only thing Sirius could choke out. This was all to much information at once.

As the doctor wanted to leave, James got up.

"Cant you bloody do something?! Anything? Please? We need him. Anything?"

The doctor just repeated herself. "I'm sorry, but as of now, the only thing we can do is wait how Sirius body reacts to the injury." With that she left the room, Arthur and Moody following her.

James sat down again. And hugged Sirius tightly and awkwardly, because he was still lying on the hospital bed. "Please tell me if you need anything, Pads.", he whispered.

The rest of the room hadnt said a word until now. Sirius was thankful for it. But they were all staring at him. Waiting for some kind of reaction.

"Guys, I'm fine.", Sirius lied. "How did the snakes game end? I want every detail."

He didnt listen. But he was pretty sure someone explained.

So many emotions were running through his mind.

He was furious. At Snape for hitting him. At the world for making it happen to him. At the doctors for not doing more. At himself for blaming everything else except himself.

He was sad. This was it. His career was over. He would maybe sit on the bench during games, if the team would even let him. He probably wasnt even part of the team anymore. He would be able to come to the first few games. And then fewer and fewer. Until the crowd had forgotten him. Until the team had forgotten him. Until he was just an ex-hockey player, sat in this massive house, alone and unwanted, all over again.

"Sirius.", a gentle voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "Sirius, are you listening?" It was Remus', his hand now on Sirius' arm. As he looked down Loops pulled it away.

"Yeah, no, a bit, sorry." Sirius replied, " I was a bit lost in thought." As the rest of the team almost gave him a another sad look, he added "Just thinking about your new training plans and how exhausted you will all be. Next time you need to show the damn snakes not to mess with lions." This was one of the first times he wished, he could be exhausted with them.

The team didn't laugh. Logan moved his chair closer to Sirius bed.

"Next time we'll win. For you."

"Wow, if I would have known it just needed at hit, to get you more ambitious, I would have been down months ago.", Sirius joked. It wasnt funny. He didn't even laugh himself, although he tried. It came out as a short, bitter one.

The team was staring at him again. It was horrible. He didnt want their pity. He wanted to get back on the ice, now. But he couldn't. He would never be able to skate again. In his life. It was over. Everything was over.

[koishua]

I am not great at theorizing but I would love to hear about your favorite characters from atla!

oh my, i am SO down for this. let me take a look, okay

i wont rank them or anything bc i love them all, but my top five would be uncle iroh, sokka, toph, suki, and azula.

UNCLE IROH. is the story's source of lesson and of wisdom. he is such an icon and he is loved by all istg he is the best man ever i love him so much i wish i was related to him as a niece like zuko or something. he truly is so wise and kind against all.

he is one of a kind, he was such a gem and held a strong view of what was wrong and what was right. i think people underestimate how great of a bender he is, tho. he was a member of the order of the lotus (eyyy the oldies but goldies gang basically lmao) aka the strongest people ever hello?? he represented the fire nation in that group and my GOd is he an amazing one.

he is different from most, because unlike other firebenders, his skills and abilities aren't directly derived from anger and fury. that's why he isn't as hot headed as regular firebenders and even teaches zuko about this (which works bc zuko is considerably calmer later in the series)

and then there is his legacy. mans beat an entire dragon in a battle of flames?? he breathes fire too so that's always the coolest thing ever and his diligence while working himself back to prepare for war in that prison absolutely took me out omg the way he strategizes??? explains why he was a general. he has a heart of gold unlike any.

SOKKA. now for him, i have the biggest amount of respect and adoration for. let's adress the elephant in the room here. he singlehandedly devised a ginormous plan to defeat am empire that has been raising tyranny for over a century. how fucking awsome can one get?? mr sexy brain amirite?

plus, he was completely skilless the first part of the series and his entire growth just blows me away every single time. sure, he had his little boomerang but that was it. after they created gaang tho, his potential was so fully exploited i cant even express how proud i am oml he was diamond in the rough.

he acted so brash and was the comedic relief character a lot of the times, so his subtle feats of intelligence didn't get noticed a lot, but oml the way i am down bad for him. his determination and desperation to become god at a skill is so enjoyable to watch like,,, the piandao episode where he learns how to wield a sword is one of my favorite episodes of all time!! anyways, this is getting alittle long so lets move on to....

TOPH BEIFONG. listen. lis-ten. thats my girl right there. i was eight when i first watched atla and she was twelve and the amount of confidence she instilled in little-me is just- *sobs* (also i realized that she is literlly the only character in this with an official lastname lmfao)

toph is forever going to remain as THAT icon. her mindset is as stable and stubborn as they go because of her earthbending lmao i love how self-assured she is. she is the definition of born into riches, growing to become greatness.

her heritage is not at all important to who she is as a character and most people even forget that she is insanely wealthy because she never mentions it. but anyway that is beside my point idk why i touched on this aspect. moving on!!

i feel like they portrayed her childish nature so well in this series like?? sure, she was the greatest earthbender of all time and still is, she was also a twelve year old tween lmao she was something else istg

and her sass, humor and just her entire attitude was so solid oml she was THAT bitch and i mean it in the most awed way possible. i can talk about her more but imma keep it short for this post's sake.

SUKI. my idol right here y'all. this is my og feminist queen right here. badass woman i love her so much. embodies courage, hard work and strength in oneself. man, kyoshi warriors are super awesome i literlly do not have any other words about her other than "woah"

obviously, she couldnt bend at all but growing up on kyoshi island, one made by avatar kyoshi herself by literally parting an entire section of land away to carry them back to make an island by spouting out lava hundreds of miles down the ocean floor is just???? but we aren't here to talk about the blood-thirsty woman rn-

she learned how to deal damage on benders who dared to attack their homeland and she is just- just- idk ugh she is so gorgeous too like?? forget about sokka please, come marry me instead i beg you ;-;

suki is so quick to react to danger and doesn't wait for anyone to save the day. she knows what she can do and she does her best to help ;-; im thinking about that once moment when toph fell into the ocean and suki was the first one to dive right in their to save her while everyone else was just literally standing there lmao even katara who could literally bend water

AZULA. now, this is where shit goes down. i lover her as a character that has been developed to show what a bad childhood environment could lead to in children who are particularly cunning and born a little sharper than others.

azula was a threat to all at the age of fifteen. fif-teen. she was a mastermind in countless incredible plans that overtake populations and she is so incredible quick-witted. perfectly evil for the sake of being evil, but also not at the same time.

the azula we last see in the agni kai between her and zuko, her own bilogical older brother whom she had tormented pretty much their entire life, was the product of accumulated trauma and pressure that she had been subject to ever since she had learned bending fire. blue fire.

she had shown from the start that she was gifted and strong and was on a league of her own compared to other kids. all of her childhood was spent garnering the approval of her father and grandfather who were toxic and evil and bad role models for her. anyone who grows up in bad environments are guaranteed to turn out messed up.

her mother preferred the softer zuko than her sadistic daughter and not receiving her mother's affection enough really showed its consequences in the last few episodes where you get to see her breaking down. she hallucinates about her mother and it was so heartbreaking to watch for me as a seventeen year old. i didn't really get the extent of her pschotic breakdown as an eight year old.

for heaven's sake, she was a devil. idk my thought are so scattered rn but i feel like i can make a post about her complicated character later when i gather my thoughts properly bahaha

tldr for azula: gifted child gone horribly wrong

anyhow, this was super fun omg

[acerine]

Can I request a naruto x reader? Where she’s apart of team 7 and her and naruto was dating but they fight and break up. Which causes her to get depressed and develop an eating disorder and everyone gets worried when she shows up to train bc she looks sickly and her bones stick out badly. Just angst with happy ending? (You don’t have to write it if you’re uncomfortable with this topic. I suffer from anorexia and it’s hard to find stories on this topic. I do understand if you don’t wanna write it)

Hold Me

Pairing: Naruto x Reader

Warnings: Angst, eating disorder, like one cuss word

A/N: I don't have a problem with writing about disorders but I just get worried that i’m not portraying them properly, please reach out to someone if you are suffering. aaaand that ending wasn't as happy as I wanted but I think it works. 

I don't have much knowledge on anorexia so im so sorry if I didn't write about it properly. 

masterlist

uzumaki naruto

You groaned and plopped yourself on a bench near the entrance to the village, exhausted from the search for your boyfriend. He had dashed off immediately after training was finished without a word to you; again. You were getting worried due to how often this was happening, especially worried because he had been speaking to you less -- the only time you really saw him was during Team 7 training. You had asked Sasuke and Kakashi if they knew where he was going but they seemed to be just as clueless as you.

Looking up and seeing the sun set, you decided it was time to head home. He’d tell you whatever was troubling him eventually; you could only hope at least. “Nope -- don’t doubt him, he's never given you a reason to.” you softly mumbled to yourself, but the creeping heaviness in your heart told you otherwise.

As you walked through the village you felt your stomach grumble, the exhaustion from training and searching finally catching up to you. You decided to stop by Ichiraku’s -- it was on the way to your house and their ramen is rejuvenating, especially after gruesome training with Sasuke. shudder. He certainly gives training his all, the developing bruises were proof of that.

“Naruto that’s your 3rd bowl!” a voice giggled, bringing you back to reality.

Did they just say Naruto? Of course your boyfriend would be here! Why didn't you think of checking Ichiraku’s first? You quietly chuckled to yourself as you walked towards the voices, excited to finally see your boyfriend and share some ramen with him. But you certainly weren't expecting to see your boyfriend with his arm around Sakura nor did you expect to see how close their faces were

...

“Naruto...what are you doing?” your voice cracked slightly. Naruto and Sakura both halted their movements. Slowly he turned his head to gaze at you, “W-What are you doing here Y/n?”

Sakura looked guilty and avoided your gaze; immediately letting you know that she was aware of your relationship and what she was doing. “No seriously, what are you doing here with her?” you forced out, the strain in your voice becoming less evident, your anger overpowering your sadness.

“I was just catching up with Sakura, I haven't seen her since she started working with the other medical ninja!” He yelled out in an attempt to defend himself, his eyes darting away from you to his bowl. “Y/n calm down...it’s not what it looks like.” Sakura softly spoke. You scoffed, “Then why cant either of you look at me?”

No response.

After a minute of silence you had had enough, “Okay well don't stop on my behalf. Have fun with Sakura, Naruto.” Turning around, you began to walk away before feeling a grip on your upper arm, “Wait what's that supposed to mean?”

“Im pretty sure you know what it means.” Ripping your arm away from his grasp you sluggishly began your walk home, your body in pain from training and from your aching heart.

...

You closed the door behind you, locking it, and diving face-first onto your couch. The events from before finally registering in your head. Soft sobs began to fill the empty room and the couch pillows became stained with tears. What did she have that you didn't? You knew he used to have a crush on her when he was younger but you thought he outgrew it. Hell, you thought she had a crush on Sasuke, since when has she been interested in Naruto? Your mind was filled with questions.

Your stomach grumbled once again, this time louder than before. You didn't have the energy to get up and make yourself anything -- you weren't even sure if you even had food at home. Moving into a sitting position you glanced at the kitchen before getting up and heading to your room, you could eat in the morning after you slept off today’s events.

...

You woke up and slowly got ready for training; not mentally prepared to face Naruto after your break up. You felt a pang in your chest at the thought of his name -- making you aware of how difficult training was going to be. You sighed and began to make your way to the training grounds, taking a look at the kitchen. The last time you ate was yesterday morning but you felt fine, although the painful growl said otherwise. Shaking your head, you moved towards the door and left.

...

Naruto hadn’t showed up to training today. Kakashi said he had gone on a year training mission with Jiraiya. How convenient. They could both tell something was off between you two. “How about we cancel practice today? I think we deserve a day off.” Sasuke rolled his eyes at Kakashi, “And what are we supposed to do while you read a crappy book?”

“How about you two be actual teenagers for once?” Kakashi grumbled before heading off, leaving you and Sasuke alone with nothing to do. “Well since the moron and Kakashi aren’t here do you want to train with me?” Sasuke was pretty hardcore when it came to training — seriously, this kid did not know how to hold back. Training was life or death with him but you didn’t know what else you could possibly do on your free time other than wallow in your self pity, so you agreed.

Yeah, let’s just say you were better off moping in your room.

...

Your body felt so weak from training, the only fuel being emitted into your body came from a banana. You were constantly burning away calories and weren’t eating enough to refill them but you just couldn’t bring yourself to eat a proper meal. After finding Naruto and Sakura 12 months ago, you hadn’t felt hungry. Sure your body was weak and your stomach growled occasionally but you weren’t hungry. You hated how everyone said otherwise.

“Y/N are you sure you’re not hungry? You’re starting to look like a pile of bones...”

“Seriously, i think you should eat something.”

“Your movements are becoming sluggish, fix it.”

It was all you heard now. You felt fine. You looked fine. Why was everyone freaking out? Was it because you lost a bit of weight?!

Annoyed, you began to make your way to the meet Kakashi and Sasuke. Today would be the day Naruto returned and you just wanted to get it over with. Once you arrived all you were met with the usual concerned gazes from Kakashi, an indifferent Sasuke, but now you were met with a new pair of eyes. He looked good. Really good. 

Fuck, you couldn’t do this. “You know what...i’m not feeling too hot right now so i’m going to head on home.” Your words tumbling out as you spun around, ready to return the way you came. But your legs crumbled from underneath you, too weak to fully support you anymore. You could hear Kakashi and Sasuke’s cries of concern but you couldn’t focus on them, you could only focus on the one person you didn’t want to. “Woah, what’s wrong?!” Came his frantic voice — his arms capturing your frame before you could fully hit the ground.

Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me.

You knew he could feel your bones, your oversized shirt no longer able to hide your secret. His eyes hardened before picking you up and carrying you to your house. You felt so tired and it felt like this was a dream. Everything was so hazy and you couldn’t fully comprehend what was going on. Did you actually collapse at the training field or did you hallucinate that? You couldn’t tell anymore.

But his hold on you felt real. His scent smelled real. What was he doing carrying you, you two broke up because he decided to get cozy with another girl.

Before you knew it you were being laid on your bed, “I’m going to go get some food, just...wait for me okay?” His voice cracked. Why did his voice crack? “Yeah uh okay...” Why were you agreeing to what he was saying? You watched as he walked away from your room, “What is going on?” you softly mumbled to yourself, attempting to regain your sense of reality. Staring up at the ceiling, you didn’t realize how much you changed in the year that you two broke up. Yeah okay maybe you lost some weight, and maybe you only left your room when it was time for training or missions, but was it really that odd? 

You saw Naruto coming back into your room and sat on the bed -- it dipping under his sudden weight. He had made you some soup, surprisingly not ramen, and held the spoon up to your lips, “Eat it.” You couldn't bring yourself to argue with him so you complied. The only sounds surrounding you two were the clanging of the spoon against the bowl and your small gulps. Your stomach felt warm, you had forgotten the feeling of a full stomach. 

A choked sob captured your attention. You looked up away from the bowl held in front of you and saw the tears streaming down your ex-boyfriend’s face. “Im sorry for doing this to you. I wouldn't have left if I knew this would happen.” His voice shakily cried out. You didn't know what to do, was your condition really that bad? He set the bowl onto your nightstand and cradled your cheek, his other hand wiping at his tears. “I’m so sorry.” He continuously cried out. 

The hand on your cheek felt warm, it was nice. Both of his hands now wiped at your cheeks, you hadn't realized you were crying but he was wiping your tears away for you. 

Maybe you were broken, maybe it was his fault, who could say? You pulled him into the bed with you and he held you in his arms -- he made you feel like you would be okay, he made you feel safe again. Sure you two had a long way to go before you could trust him but for now you were happy just being with him. Like it was before that day last year. 

“Please just hold me.”

[fmdminaharchive]

❧ you’re like spring.

date(s): february-march 2021 mentions of: daisuke (briefly for happening reasons), jiah (extensively for gay reasons) word count: 1,712 (475 words composition, 748 words songwriting without the lyrics) warnings: none details: partial composition and full lyric verification for ‘the spring’. minah makes music again, it’s more of the same yet different. she’s also grossly in love, though she’s well aware there has been a time she wasn’t. also little extra bits of the whole Process because i can and they’re cute

“how about another spring song?” the creative director suggests and minah is quick to agree.

sure, she has some thoughts on that statement. the expected release date they gave her is late may, pushing near the end of spring but she can’t say she’s surprised. sure, these songs usually do best around early to mid april, when spring is fresh and the temperatures are slowly creeping up together with the bloom of flowers but she wagers that either bc doesn’t give her solo comeback enough priority over whatever else is planned earlier in the year or they’re aiming to recreate the same effect ‘hopefully sky’ had. 

it’s kind of ironic, minah thinks, the implied image of a late bloomer bc throws in her lap. 

she doesn’t mind it, it kind of suits her in ways.

➽───────────────❥

being informed that she will be working with the same producer she worked on for ‘hopefully sky’ and ‘being there’ only further confirms minah’s suspicions, they’re fully intending to let her stick to her niche. it’s not a bad thing persé, she likes her music, she likes the producer, the whole process will undoubtedly be a delight. but paired with the fact she had been purposely left out of writing for her debut album last fall, minah can’t help but feel bc doesn’t yet trust her quite enough. not enough to write on something important as an album, not enough to write on something she hasn’t done before.

which just means she has to prove herself.

when minah shows up for their first studio session, she shows up prepared, reaching for the acoustic guitar kept in one of the corners of the room

one eyebrow of the producer quirks up. “were you asked to compose it yourself? i thought i was, that’s why i prepared some things-”

minah just shakes her head, smiling serenely. “i wasn’t. but i have something i want to let you hear regardless.”

the guitar parts aren’t all that much, no bells or whistles. but minah likes to think that’s their charm. her instrumentals never are too flashy, not taking the foreground but instead serving as a gentle, guiding hand. the strums and chords are meant to be a base, to frame and support her voice rather than to be the main attraction.

the simple melody reminds her a lot of her busking days back in busan. sure, for the most parts she played and sang popular songs, ones that would be recognized by passersby and hopefully bring a smile to her face. but when things were slower, wen there weren’t as many people around, minah could spend stretches and stretches of time playing around with chords, improvising their structure as she went, their gentle hum to fill the silence until people came by again. it was a comforting sound, a comforting feeling.

of course, this time it’s not mere improvising, not tangent of chords that escape her memory the moment they fade out into the air around them but it still feels that way as she plays the song for the producer, a light-hearted, warm feeling teaching from her fingertips to her chest. 

when she finishes the song, minah puts the guitar beside her again, looking expectantly at the producer. “it’s not a full song-” she starts, sentence trailing off, searching for some sign of approval or dismissal, whatever comes first, whatever will tell her if she was right to go out on a limb.

“it’s not.” the producer agrees with a nod. “but it could be.” another beat of silence. “it will be when i turn it into one.”

the excited squeal that escapes minah is one of victory.

➽───────────────❥

“you know, i already wrote lyrics to go with it too.” minah brings up a little while later, by now both of them with a cup of coffee in their hands, having spent the last hour or so properly writing down the guitar part she had played earlier and fiddling with ideas how to expand on it.

“well why didn’t you say so earlier, go ahead, i’m listening.” 

so minah quickly pulls out the piece of paper the lyrics are written down on. they’re her words, she has sung them a few times but she doesn’t feel confident enough in her memory to do it entirely by heart just yet. 

she picks the guitar up again from where she had left it, leaning against the side of the table, placing her fingers against the fingerboard and strumming the strings, playing the same chords she had played before but this time accompanied by her voice. 

i think spring is coming again almost sick of the cherry blossoms once again, i face a lonely season as the wind blows

in terms of sound, the song sounds as warm and comforting as it’s spiritual predecessors ‘hopefully sky’ and ‘being there’ had, the sweet, family-girl charm minah had initially wrapped the general public around her finger with. lyrically, however, the tone is a bit more somber, lonely and longing for the happiness her surroundings seem to have found. it puts it smack in the middle of both her self-written songs from last summer and the tone of her first album and her portal collab with daisuke from last winter. a pretty clever way to bring together the two sides of her sound she has released so far if she says so herself.

that flower is so pretty, it makes me lonely that couple is smiling so brightly making me so sad why is it so beautiful? why am i jealous? everything’s spring spring spring but me

of course, the lyrics are hardly relevant for minah in the moment. she is entering her second spring together with jiah, their relationship having started roughly a year ago, when spring was creeping up on them much like it is now. 

but feelings didn’t need to be lived to write about them right, to be able to convey them all the same. minah’s entire ‘epilogue’ had been drenched in the sorrow of heartbreak while she was on cloud nine. much the same applied to this song, there is none of the longing for a spring romance, not when she has all of that right in the palm of her hands already, not when she gets to wake up stroking the messy strands of hair out of jiah’s face and kiss the tip of her nose.

you’re spring, spring spring spring you, where did you go? you’re spring, spring spring spring the spring wind is blowing

minah gets it, she really does, why spring is generally seen as a romantic season, the slow bloom of the world stirring awake after the winter. cherry blossoms showers during walks in the parks, couples huddled together due to the last remnants of cold wind. spring is romantic in it’s very existence. it’s soft, it’s comforting, a gentle welcome after the slumber of winter. 

and because of that, jiah is spring too. the pink hues of her flushed cheeks and the radiance of her smile, the tingling sparks of heat left across minah’s skin. she’s warm without ever being overwhelming, like the slowly rising temperatures giving the flowers time to adjust and bloom.

i’m dreaming of a fun love will my sweet love ever come? after another lonely day the wind blows

it hasn’t always been like that though, minah has been familiar enough with the bittersweetness of cherry blossoms. she’s a notorious workaholic after all. for as long as she can remember, she’s always been busy with something, be it her career or her family. it had left ample time for epic romances when she had been far too all over the place to open up her heart and whatever sparks did fly quickly fizzled solely due to the fact minah didn’t have the capacity to nurse a budding romance among everything.

so it isn’t like she doesn’t understand, it wasn’t like she has never kicked the ground scoffing watching the loved-up couples in springtime. minah knows the feeling all too well. so she knows how cathartic songs like this can be. sometimes you just need to be bitter for a bit before carrying on with life.

when the warm spring wind brushes my cheeks will spring come into my frozen heart as well? is it love?

minah has found her own love in the spring, only just a year ago, after watching the seasons slip by so often without much romance of her own. 

so minah hopes. she hopes that anyone who will relate to the song hearing it now will find their own spring love eventually. maybe not this season but possibly next, or the one after that.

even if not for many more springs, with every passing year, they’ll be one spring closer to that, and isn’t that enough reason to keep waiting? 

➽───────────────❥

a few weeks pass after that, minah doesn’t really keep track of the time where is so much she’s doing anyway but sooner or later, she finds the same producer waiting for her after she leaves vocal practice for lipstick’s upcoming comeback. 

“c’mon, i need to steal you away for a second, there is something i want you to listen to.” he explains briefly and minah is quick to follow the familiar path to one of bc’s in-house recording studios. 

of course, she knows this is about her solo comeback. she however doesn’t know if her draft got the bc stamp of approval. she might just as well be faced with an entirely different song.

as she takes a seat in one of the office chairs, the producer pulling up a file on his computer gracefully named ‘the spring’ minah feels pretty sure of her case though.

“i finished your song.” he simply says before pressing play.

it’s her song indeed, both of those parts are true. it’s hers, the familiar guitar strums in the background and a demo of her lyrics on top of it. it’s also a song, a full song this time, the blanks that were still missing from her rough draft filled in. 

minah really likes it.

when the song comes to an end, she turns to the producer and smiles. “i like the accordion.” she laughs. “it’s a nice touch.”

[officheol]

Wonwoo: Drunken Love Confession

Drabble Prompts: #71 “You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?” #77 “We’re meant for each other.” #27 “Kiss me.”

Pairing: Wonwoo/F!Reader

WC: 1204

Rating: PG

Content: Fluff, Very slight angst, Drunk Wonwoo

Requested: Yes!

Requests: Open!

Summary: Your boyfriend is drunk. And a conventional “first time” relationship event drops from his lips at a not-so-conventional time.

Masterlist

A/N: This was really fun to write. It’s a mix of 98% fluff and 2% angst for that good ‘person vs. self’ conflict. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do bc tbh this made me get super fuzzy feelings for our Wonu. Also, yes I referenced “Crazy In Love”. How could I not?

Rattling in the quiet dark space of your apartment stirs you from your deep sleep. Rolling back over, you ignore the sound and stretch out your limbs as you bury your face in your pillow. Except, you hear it again, much louder this time. You probably should have been worried; after all, it could be a stranger breaking in. Instead, you groan and scowl, prepared to fight anyone who interrupted your much needed slumber. Lifting yourself off your bed and patting your bedside for your phone, your irritation grows as you see the bright light shining in your eyes and the lock screen clock announcing it’s 4:08 in the morning.

You don’t grab some type of makeshift weapon as you make your way into your open living space (You regret that moments later because the person who shows up makes you want to smack them.), and realize the sound is coming from behind your front door, two voices mumbling along with the occasional banging. Sneaking your way to the peephole, you close your eyes and take a deep breath when you realize who blessed you with a surprise visit.

Jerking the door open, you’re greeted with a body nearly falling into you, arms reaching out to steady themselves, a cheesy smile on their face as they recognize you.

“Jeon Wonwoo.” You eye your boyfriend up and down, not even glancing to the guy behind him, who is very clearly trying to run away before you can scold him. “Hold it, Mingyu. Don’t even try going anywhere.” He freezes and returns like a reprimanded puppy with his tail between his legs.

“Y/NNNNNN,” Wonwoo sings, batting his eyelashes, “Mingyu! Look! It’s my girlfriend, Y/N!” He hiccups and his eyes widen. “How is she here? I was just thinking about her!” Mingyu offers a limp shrug to you, a weak apology spilling from his lips as you groan.

“You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?” You sigh as you lean on your doorway, Wonwoo stumbling after you as he refuses to let go of his arms around your waist. He nuzzles his face into your neck. “Mingyu, explain.”

The younger of the two shrugs again. “We were out with some of the guys catching up and drinking. Dunno how he got so drunk. But at some point, he kept babbling about you: how perfect you are, how much he misses you, etcetera. It was gross.” Mingyu grimaces. “So to shut him up, we told him you wanted to see him too. And here,” he gestures to you, “we are.”

You press two fingers to your forehead, not awake enough to be dealing with this, but also not mean enough to turn away your adoring boyfriend. Wonwoo missing you when he was drunk out of his mind? Yeah, you could say only true romantic acts work on you, judging by the warmth growing on your cheeks. “Alright, alright. Mingyu, come in for a bottle of water and you can go. Tell the boys I’ll deal with them later.” Taking your boyfriend by the hand, you pull him in past the threshold as he shuffles after, smile still lingering on his lips.

After you dismiss Mingyu, confirming that he’s getting home safely, you turn to your humming boyfriend who is busy braiding your hair. 

“You have such pretty hair.” You want to roll your eyes, but watching how content Wonwoo is, all sarcasm dies on the tip of your tongue.

“Okay, lover boy. Thank you, but let’s get you some water. And something to eat, hmm?” You pull away from him and he lets out a small whine at your sudden distance. Setting the cup of water down and a bowl with crackers in front of him as he sits at your kitchen barstool across from you, you can’t help the amused smile on your face. Your boyfriend has always been sweet and attentive, even with the mistaken image of his cold eyes, but you’ve never experienced this before. His misshapen hair falls across his face and his eyes look a little distant and dreamy, and yet you’ve never been as fond as you were right now. And dare you say it, in love. But no dare could make you have enough courage to express that emotion for the first time though. Even with his current words and actions, you manage to doubt how he feels about you. The fear that the alcohol is merely exaggerating his emotions, rather than express the truth, eats at you.

Lost in thought, you don’t realize Wonwoo has finished his glass and is observing you as well. He breaks the silence first.

“Have you ever thought about how we’re meant for each other?” You blink twice, unsure if you heard properly.

“Excuse me?” you tread carefully.

“Yeah,” he lets out a love filled sigh. “It’s just, we’ve all heard stories about true love when we were younger, right?” Wonwoo gazes at you, elbow propped on the counter, palm supporting his jaw. “Sometimes, I used to doubt it. And yet here I am, crazy in love.” He tilts his head and giggles as if he were just thinking out loud. “Which means it has to be true. Because what I feel for you, certainly isn’t a lie.” He spins in the barstool seat, almost losing his balance.

What he’s saying does not make total sense, but you get the gist of it as you comprehend that Wonwoo just confessed his love for you. And not just love, but in love love. You don’t have time to think for too long though, because this time he actually does lose his balance, and plummets to the floor.

“WONWOO!” You rush around the bar and expect to see your boyfriend wincing at the pain. Instead, he just pouts and peeks at you through his eyelashes.

“It hurts,” he sniffs.

Falling to your knees next to him, you check for any visible sign of injury. “Where does it hurt, baby?”

“Here,” he points to his lips.

“Really?” This time, you do roll your eyes and sit back on your heels, arms crossed, unimpressed. “Why should I?”

“Because it hurts,” Wonwoo nods sagely, “And because I love you. So kiss me please.”

Your mind is telling you to rationalize that it’s possible he’s not fully aware of what he’s saying. Your heart is saying that it’s been over an hour since he’s arrived on your doorstep. He drank water and ate crackers. He must have sobered quite a bit, even if not fully. And Wonwoo has never been the type to lie or pretend about what he feels.

Strangely, your heart makes more sense.

Leaning down, you laugh, pressing a long kiss against his lips, whispering, “I love you too,” as he grins and wraps his arms around you.

You trust your heart.

(In the moment, you convince yourself that it being past 5 am has no effect on you. And that the love you feel for your wonderful boyfriend surpasses your exhaustion. Wonwoo confirms that this is, in fact, not true. Because his head is ringing more from the earful he got rather than his hangover the following day. But hey, at least he got to spend it with you.)