#as long as it doesn’t get to the dizziness phase I can deal

[dark-elf-writes]

Ear infection twin :)

I am in pain

This is my second double ear infection in like six months and I’m honestly pretty mad about it.

I hope you start feeling better. Ear infections suck

[waltnut]

Hey!! Do you have any more lore ideas of the demon bros in their level 3/4 states? Your last post was really interesting!! :)

I do have some that’s kinda dark? Maybe even kind of NSFW-ish? I’m not sure how you’d categorize it but here it is anyway.

I’ve had this idea of when the “heat season” comes around and what is needed to be done to protect MC. This is in no way what I think happens EVERY TIME heat season comes around just an idea that I had in my head for a concept. I’ve read many wonderful Headcanons for the heat seasons for the brothers and they are all way more thought out than this lol.

The idea is that for MC’s protection, it has been tasked to keep the brothers locked up in their room or a specific location until the heat has passed. The scenario is that this is the first time MC has been there for it and Barbatos is explaining to them and showing them what is needed to be done. There are seals in every room to keep them from breaking out, for example. The seals are made for that specific demon and do not affect MC or other demons. Most of them are in Level 4 during this time but will phase into Level 3 to try to manipulate MC into letting their guard down. Each demon is given something to keep the desire at bay. If they stop receiving these things they will go into a rage.

Assume they are in Level 4 unless stated. This is specifically the brothers...Read more below.

Lucifer - Locked in his room

Mc is not allowed even on the same floor as Lucifer during this time. It is said his power and influence can affect a large radius and should you get too close, you will feel unconsciously drawn to him or where he is.

There is a seal on his door to keep him in.

You will hear nothing behind his door, it is as if no one is home.

He stalks around in his room in Level 4, with all his lights off. Ashamed of himself and his lack of control.

If he knows MC is close, or if he can no longer resist, he is able to project illusions of this form throughout the house to Lure MC or scare MC into heading closer to him. You would see these out of the corner of your eye, or red eyes in the shadows of a silhouette of a giant goat man.

Should MC enter his room, the seal does not react to humans and opening the door does not break the seal, MC will be stuck in here until it’s over. Have fun dealing with a scary goat demon in the dark.

Music is needed to keep him calm. If no music is played he will use his illusions more to terrorize others on the outside and become violent if approaching his physical form.

Mammon - Locked away in his room, in a secret cellar type room that is accessible only through his room. It’ll

To get to him, there is a door in the back of his room, that only appears for this season, magic or something. It leads down a spiral staircase where the walls are stone and you come to a large stone room that is lit by conches and it’s filled with gold and treasure and the like. It’s a dragon’s den. And it’s separated by a wall of decorative bars keeping MC on one side and the dragon on the other.

The seal is on the bars and touching the bars would repel him. But MC can touch them and stick a hand through.

He lays on his treasure and gold objects which will stick to his leathery parts on his wings and the underside of his tail and belly.

Nests of treasures, tapestry and fancy rugs are also used as paddings for his nests. There are items from ancient times, which you could only assume he’s had for centuries and his hoard has only grown since then.

If MC enters this chamber he will transform to level 3 and offer his treasures to them. He will also pout and guilt to keep MC there with him.

Treasure is given to him every hour to keep him happy. He transforms back into level 4 in a fit and will destroy his piles of treasures out of anger and upset if they choose to leave him.

If MC chooses to stay, he will dress them in his treasures and make nests for them.

Leviathan - Sealed in his large aquarium tank. Did you think it was built for the fishes?

The only light source comes from the fish tank and TVs. You can see a giant dark mass inside the tank wrapping around everything inside. It has pulsating glowing orange orbs on its form.

There are Tv’s set up in front of the glass. A lot of them. All of them are anime. There are also a lot of plushies floating in the water. To keep him company, Barbatos would say. These objects keep him calm.

If MC approaches he will turn into Level 3 and press himself against the glass with the most sad eyes. He will use words to manipulate MC into feeling guilty for him being alone and to stay there with him and watch all the shows.

If you stay too long in this room you will hear an eerie whale type song in the back of your mind. It seems to make you dizzy and makes you want to stay with him. Maybe you just might jump in the water. Who needs to breathe anyway? He probably has a solution for that.

If MC chooses to leave he will turn back into Level 4 sea monster and wail the saddest deep sea song and slam his huge body against the glass. Hopefully it stays in tact.

Satan - Locked in his room.

A green glowing wall seal separates the door area from the rest of his room. It has a shimmering flame affect but you can see through it.

His room is trashed. Books ripped to shreds, book cases fallen over, small flecks of green flame and ash are scattered on the piles.

He remains in Level 4 even if MC is in the room. And he is not nice. He is mean. He will scream and yell and swear profanities at them, and especially Barbatos since Barbatos will not let Mc go alone. He will say down right terrible things out of anger and frustration.

If MC expresses any type of upset, it’s possible Satan might notice. If he does, he will lower his voice and approach. He will apologize and begin to try to convince Mc to stay with him and read all the books.

If he is refused he will slam on the sealed wall furiously and monstrous screaming continues. His flames in his body are strong and bright.

Books are given to him every half hour as well as audiobooks of plays from every language to keep him calm.

Asmodeus - Sealed in his room, but an altered version of reality.

His room is separated by a clear glass wall with an invisible seal. On the other side there are mirrors everywhere. It’s like a fun house with how they are not in any uniform pattern. Some are cracked and broken.

There is pillows and blankets and a giant bed where there isn’t mirrors.

The mirrors are used to keep his morale low, showing his reflection in his level 4 state causes a depression to keep him from wanting to pursue others, as he is the avatar of Lust and is the most insatiable during this season.

If MC is in the room, he will actually scream and refuse for them to see him. If MC can convince for Asmodeus to show himself, he will come close to the glass barrier and black tear lines would be streaming down his face.

He will show himself in Level 3 to them to convince MC to stay and keep him company. Something about wanting to see them from every angle with all these mirrors?

If refused he will start to break the mirrors around him. The magically repair themselves eventually.

Other demons like succubi/incubi are sent to him to keep his appetite lower. But he will always prefer MC over them.

Beelzebub - Locked in a giant meat freezer storage near the kitchen.

It’s very cold in here, and there are animal carcasses hanging from meat hooks everywhere. Even things you never seen before. It’s a large cold room with tile.

Bars separate you from the monster in the middle of the room. He sits on a pile of meat and flesh, sounds of tearing can be heard. But also the raffling of chains. The bars are not enough to hold him. There are seals on the bars and metal cuffs attached to his wrists and ankles.

Steam can be seen coming off the monster form Beelzebub.

Once MC enters, he will come launch himself towards them but the chains catch him and hold him away. Barbatos will allow MC to throw him some meat but to use a rod to stick it through, like some zoo keeper feeding a lion.

It was said they didn’t start using the chains until one time he broke out and went on a feeding spree. I won’t get into details about that.

He speaks in very few words. “Closer.” Or “Stay.” are usually what he’ll snort at MC. He stares at them, licking his lips. You don’t know if it’s lust or hunger or both.

He doesn’t put up much a fuss if MC leaves, as the food is enough to occupy him.

Food fed to him by the hundreds is needed to keep him from raging.

Belphegor - Locked back up in the attic.

There is a wall of black smoke/fog that hides the rest of the room. It has light flecks off white in them, like stars.

Red eyes stare at you from inside the fog. They disappear and reappear somewhere else.

Barbatos tells you to not touch the smoke. Do not. Ever. Touch the smoke.

Level 3 arms of Belphie can reach out from the smoke to grab you.

His voice is soft and sweet but his words are not. He tells you he is always with you when you sleep. He can see your dreams. He is in them. It’s the way he says these things that are unsettling.

He can disperse the fog enough to show himself to you. He can change the fog to look like space and galaxies to entice MC to want to stay and experience it.

He will guilt trip MC, saying they’re the reason he’s here and they owe him. They need to make it up to him. He can forgive them if they stay.

If he is refused, a wave of tiredness will wash over MC. Barbatos must always accompany them and he is able to take them away before anything happens.

Incense smoke is needed to keep him calm and sedated.

Now you may be thinking...What about Barbatos?? Isn’t he affected by the season?? To that he replies...

“Oh yes, but my constitution is much stronger than the rest.”

Then perhaps you may be wondering about Lord Diavolo. To which he replies...

“It’s best you don’t set foot in the castle. Better yet, just stay in here in the house, where it’s much safer.”

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

L O V E B O U N D

“Christmasbound IV”

Taylor opens her eyes, just once, then closes them immediately. The entire room is spinning again. Her eyes are glued together, her vision blurry. She should’ve taken an Advil before bed. She should’ve prevented this. With a loud groan, she turns around in bed, the blanket only covering one half of her body. She swallows once, can obviously feel how dry her throat is. Taylor wants to move, wants to get up and tell herself that this is a new day, a new beginning, a new chance. All of these positive affirmations that she’s been growing up with. But today, she can’t. Maybe it was the late night whiskey while being all alone that was a bad idea. Maybe it was taking step closer to Joe and his family, which truly has been a bad idea after all. 

Taylor takes another deep breath, holds her hand. She’s tired. Emotionally even more than physically. She slowly sits up. A stinging pain in her head keeping her from moving further. She looks to the side, could’ve sworn that she ensured to have a water bottle next to her bed. But the only thing she finds on the nightstand next to her is the whiskey glass. Almost empty. Disgusted at herself, Taylor moves her legs to dangle down the left side of the bed. She just sits upright, feels how dizzy she still is. When she was twenty- three and the world was against her, Taylor would always feel a sense of direction deep within her. As bad as it was, and as destructive as her dealing mechanisms may have been - she always knew this was just a phase. Just a bad month, a bad occurrence. A bad relationship. But now, at age 32, she doesn’t feel a sense of direction anymore. Even more so, she feels like she’s been on the right path. For a long time. Until she decided to leave it. Decided to go so incredibly wrong. All of that, while being a mother. Taylor swallows, stands up on the soft carpet on her bedroom floor. Barefoot and with nothing but her oversized sleeping shirt, Taylor makes her way down the stairs. Her eyes immediately fall onto the big window fronts. With swollen eyes and dried mascara on her cheek, she can’t help but smile tiredly. The world is white. Taylor can already see Eleanor before her eyes, having woken up hours ago and excitedly jumping around the Christmas tree. She’s happy it has snowed. She’s happy Eleanor is with Joe and his family. Where there’s more happiness. Where she can make these happy childhood Christmas memories that Taylor always wanted for her little girl. Even before she was born. 

Taylor reaches for the blue coffee mug on the top shelf in the kitchen. She quickly turns on the coffee machine and waits silently for the warm brew to enter her cup. Maybe, just maybe, Eleanor is happier staying with Joe and Naomi, and Elizabeth and Richard. Not with her, right now, on this day. She doesn’t know how to be a mother when deep inside, she’s the lost teenage girl again. She’s never gone through this scenario when becoming a mother. She’s never been prepared that something might hit her that would absolutely numb her from being Eleanor’s mommy. From putting on a fake smile, just to be there for Eleanor. Taylor swallows the hot beverage, knows even without looking into the mirror how horrible she looks. Her shoulder long hair curly and in all directions, mascara under her eyes, bangs all messed up. She slowly grabs her phone, tabs two times to open the chat with Joe. She stares at their last exchanged messages for a few seconds. And she swallows again. 

I can’t wait to have you two here, see you soon. 

How ironic, that she actually felt like he had other reasons to invite her over. Other reasons than to finally move on from her. 

Hey, Merry Christmas. I woke up not feeling great and don’t want to risk anything, so I think I’ll be staying home today. I’ll call later to speak to E. Merry Christmas to your family, give E a kiss from me. 

Taylor drops her phone on the marble counter, doesn’t even care if the fall was a bit too harsh. She then grabs her coffee mug and wanders up the stairs again. This time though, she doesn’t go back to her messed up bed and the empty whiskey glass that is waiting for her like a cloud of guilt, in the middle of her house. Instead, she walks straight to the piano room. With bare legs, she slowly sits down on the little chair right in front of the massive piano. For a second, she just sits there, then lifts the piano lid slowly. She doesn’t even move, just takes a last sip of her coffee before placing the mug right on top of the piano. Her fingers slowly brush each key, low undefined sounds coming from the instrument. She’s never been good at life. But this was all she’s had. All she could really get right. All she will ever understand. 

Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? 

Taylor begins to follow this voice inside of her. Without thinking too much, she lets her hands do the work. Wanders from key to key, until there’s a melody that speaks for her.

 ____________________

“Mommy, I also got the new tonniebox that I wanted. And daddy and me also read me the note that Santa left for me. Santa wrote a note, just for me!” the little girl babbles into her mother’s ears. Taylor, who’s still just in her PJs, sits on the sofa now. Coffee number three in her hands, her hair still as messed up as before. She laughs quietly on the phone, can see her daughter’s excited little face in front of her eyes. “Of course he did. You’re such a good person, and you know that Santa always has an eye on that. And he’s so proud of you, same as me.” Taylor says, consciously didn’t tell her that she’s been a ‘good girl’, this year. She’s learned the difference between society telling you you’re a ‘good girl’ and actually being a good person. There’s worlds between these two things. Taylor can hear the background noises, Elizabeth probably rushing to prepare breakfast for everyone. Just when Eleanor was done telling Taylor about her presents, she can hear Joe in the background. Asking her if ‘mummy’s still on the phone’. Taylor swallows. It takes less than five seconds and she can hear Joe’s voice. He sounds careful, almost worried, a hint of curiosity in his voice. Her text this morning was probably too obvious. He knows her too well, probably can tell already that she’s been to overwhelmed by last night. Too overwhelmed meeting Naomi. Too overwhelmed seeing Joe with another woman. For the first time in a decade. For the first time ever. 

He asks her if she’s feeling better, if she can make it to join them for lunch. How important it would be for Eleanor to have her mum there. Taylor feels sick, just hearing his voice again. Maybe it’s the coffee on her empty stomach, or it’s the warmth in his deep voice, that has captured her from the first time he opened his mouth, ages ago, through all the noise, on a warm LA summer night. 

“I don’t know if it’s safe for me to come over, especially with covid and.. I do feel a scratch in my throat. So I think it’s better if…”

“We all got tested yesterday. It’s impossible that…”

“It doesn’t change the fact that I feel like crap,” she says, hoping he would finally stop. Taylor hears his silence on the end of the phone line. He knows. She knows that he knows. 

“Of course, I’m sorry for pressuring you. It’s just… it’s Christmas Day and…”

“No, no. You’re not pressuring me.” She then says, still feels sad whenever he does. She needs to stop doing this. Needs to stop subconsciously mirroring him. Caring so much and so deeply about his happiness that she adjusts whenever he’s feeling some type of way. Suddenly, Taylor can hear Eleanor in the background. She is asking about mommy. Asking when mommy is coming over. Taylor feels this pressure on her chest again. Is she abandoning her daughter right now? Because she can’t get over her own feelings? 

“Eleanor wants to.. wants to speak to you again.” He says then and Taylor can hear him handing over the phone. It takes one whiny “mommy” and Taylor knows she needs to get up, get freshened up, get over herself. She’s not twenty- three anymore. She can’t just care solely for herself anymore. She can’t just stay right here. 

____________________

With a bad tummy ache, Taylor stares out of the window, watching all the naked trees in the dim light. 

You left me no choice but to stay here forever. 

For whatever reason, these lyrics are stuck in her head and she knows that she needs to write them down tonight. Just when the car stops, Taylor feels a rush of nausea overcome her. She unbuckles her seatbelt and nods at her driver. She thanks him underneath her mask, swallows hard as she sees the family home just meters away from her, behind the glass of the car where she’s still sitting in the backseat. She feels unable to move, but does it anyways. After a few seconds, she’s left the car, wearing black jeans and boots and nothing but a plaid blouse underneath her coat. She slowly takes off the mask, remains there in front of the house. She’s doing this for Eleanor. She’s doing this because she’s got a responsibility. Because she’s an adult now. Taylor slowly takes a few steps up to the entry through the thin layer of snow on the ground, can already smell Elizabeth’s cherry pie through the open window that leads right to the hallway. Taylor knows she looks better than a few hours ago. Her hair and face clean. Mascara where it’s supposed to be. Blush on her lips and cheeks. Almost as if nothing had happened to her. Nothing at all. With a slight nauseous feeling, Taylor was about to ring the doorbell but stopped in the last second, as the big door opened by itself already. A bit surprised and startled, Taylor looks at Elizabeth. And the fifty- year old woman looks back at her. It’s this uncomfortable and insecure silence between them for a few seconds. But even before Taylor can say anything, Elizabeth’s face changes into a warm smile. A relief that has run through Taylor’s veins immediately. 

“Oh hi there, I knew I heard a car pull up.” 

Taylor nods, was just about to answer as Elizabeth already pulls her inside the house and inside her arms. This is still new to her. This is still overwhelming. Taylor closes her eyes and feels Elizabeth’s hands on her back, stroking her back up and down. She immediately feels tears building up, swallows them down in the last second, just when the brown haired woman pulls back and smiles at her. 

“Are you feeling better?” She asks, a well- knowing look on her face, as she already takes Taylor’s coat from her. Taylor, who feels welcomed but trapped at the same time, just nods quietly. She doesn’t really want to talk about it. 

“Yeah I felt a bit off this morning.” she mumbles. Elizabeth places a hand on her back as soon as she’s put the coat away and walks with Taylor into the kitchen. Like a wildcat in fight mode, Taylor hectically looks through the living room but nobody’s there. That’s not quite what she expected to find. 

“Where..”

“Oh they’re all upstairs on the attic looking through Joe’s old theatre costumes.” Elizabeth laughs, begins to stir the sauce she’s preparing on the stove. Taylor just nods, doesn’t really know how to act or move. She just takes a deep breath standing there. An old Christmas CD from the 90s is playing. The lights on the Christmas tree are lid. The cooker hood making dump noises. Elizabeth looks up at Taylor again, can see her awkwardly standing there, leaning against the counter next to her. 

“We’re very happy to have you here, you know.” She says then and Taylor feels how she blushes. She never thought Elizabeth would ever say something like this to her ever again. Not after she and Eleanor left her son. Not after the last Christmas. 

“I’m happy to be here as well.” Taylor then answers and Elizabeth steals her another look, then giggles quietly. 

“Are you really?” 

Taylor feels like she’s freezing for a while. She doesn’t know what to do with this answer. 

“Of course, I.. I’m so thankful we’re speaking again and..”

“No, I didn’t mean that.” She says and Taylor knows what she knows. It must be written all over her face. A face that says ‘he’s moved on, I haven’t’. Taylor doesn’t say anything, as Elizabeth turns down the temperature of the stove and turns around at her. 

“We should go for a walk soon. Catch up a bit.” 

Taylor immediately smiles and nods a few times. Even if she feels like hell is loose, this offer definitely made her smile a bit more. It took exactly seven seconds to pass, as multiple steps come down the stairs and Eleanor screams excitedly, let’s go off her grandfather’s hand to run towards her mom. 

“Mommy!” She screams and Taylor laughs for the first time really today, lifts up the small girl and holds her on her hip smiling. “Monkey, hello.” Taylor smiles, Eleanor and her automatically leaning in for a kiss on the lips which is followed by Taylor stealing her cheek another kiss. Just as she wished Eleanor another merry Christmas, is when she notices Naomi’s warm smile facing them. Within a matter of seconds, Taylor feels irritated again, holds onto the little girl on her arm as if she’s holding onto her life. 

“Oh darling, are you so happy your mummy’s joined too?” Elizabeth strokes over Eleanor’s curls after having watched the scene between Eleanor and Taylor with a smile. She knows that after all, Taylor’s an incredible mother. A quality that she knew she’s got from the very first day they met. Right in this house. A decade ago. “Yes.” Eleanor mumbles into Taylor’s neck and they all laugh quietly. Just in that second, Joe also joins the family kitchen and smiles warmly at Taylor. He’s glad she’s made it. 

“Someone’s glad her mum’s here, huh?” he then laughs at his daughter. Taylor was about to answer him, but his hand that casually lands on Naomi’s shoulder keeps her from opening her mouth.“Ellie, are you so happy you can show mummy your presents now?” the petite woman says, looking at Eleanor who’s still on Taylor’s arm. Ellie. Just in that moment, Eleanor turns her head grumpily, and goes “My name is Eleanor”. Taylor tries her hardest not to smile, but her mini- me seems to have hit the nail in the head here. Joe immediately laughs, both hands on Naomi’s shoulders now. “Darling, why don’t you show your mum what Santa Claus left under the tree this morning for her?” He says with a grin, obviously wanted to change topics to make sure that the awkward mood in the room diminishes. In that second, Eleanor moves on Taylor’s arm quickly and signals her that she wants to get down. 

Together with Eleanor, Taylor now walks into the living room, knees down in front of Eleanor’s presents. 

“Look, this one’s from Santa for mummy.” She says with a bright smile and Taylor decides to sit down on the carpet while opening her present. 

“Mhm what could that be?” She says, swallows hard as she finally takes a good look at what’s in her hands. A colored polaroid of Joe and Eleanor, smiling into the camera is placed in the middle of the green card. Surrounded by little Christmas stickers and drawn Christmas trees with glitter hearts on them, both Eleanor and Joe have their heads stuck together, smiling the purest smiles into the camera. She can see Joe’s arm holding the camera. Of course she’s had some help with this present. Right underneath the picture, Eleanor has placed a smiling heart sticker and wrote “from Eleanor and daddy” in her messy handwriting, just the way a first grader would do. Taylor looks at the card, tears forming in her eyes. She doesn’t want to get emotional now. Doesn’t want to get emotional here in this room. But the two humans, who are so innocently smiling in this picture, still mean the world to her. 

“I love it so much.” She says then quietly, hopes that no one else has seen her get teary. Eleanor looks confused at her mum, but Taylor just laughs, wipes away the tears on her cheeks and immediately hugs her. “This is so beautiful that I got super emotional, honey.” She laughs, soothing Eleanor a bit. And the little girl nods, seems to accept Taylor’s answer. 

“I made the card, but Santa wrapped it up and put it under the tree.” 

Taylor laughs and nods before getting up. Especially, because to Eleanor - it actually makes a lot of sense.

“That’s so nice of him. I’m so happy Santa brought me this beautiful card.” She says, takes Eleanor’s hand before joining the others around the table. 

____________________

It’s been an hour now since Taylor consciously made the decision to have a conversation with the left side of the big table - Patrick and his girlfriend Jess. It’s been so wonderful reconnecting with him, hearing about his plans for after his masters degree. Hearing Jess talk about how they met, their struggles to find an affordable flat in northwest London and how excited they are to drive up to Denmark together once this coronavirus situation is over. Taylor has made the conscious effort to ignore Naomi, Joe and Tom who are seated on the other half of the table. Taylor knows she can’t block the new woman on this table out, but she clearly is taking every chance she’s got to engage in other conversations. Just when Eleanor is tapping attentively on her shoulder is when Taylor looks up and finds Naomi, Joe and Eleanor all dressed up. Apparently ready to go for a walk. A bit confused, Taylor looks at Joe and then back at Eleanor. 

“We’re going out for a walk with Flint, do you want to join us?” 

Taylor immediately shakes her head, an answer that came a bit too fast. 

“Oh thanks for asking but I think you should go without me.” she mumbles, the last thing she wants to do right now is go for a walk with Naomi and Joe. Eleanor however continues to pull her hand, seems to have made up her mind that her mum has to join them today. Just when Taylor was about to talk to Eleanor is when Joe already speaks up. His voice in the same gentle tone that he’s always put on when they had a serious conversation. 

“Actually, it would be fantastic if we could just... talk a bit? Who knows when’s the next time that we can all get together?” he says, Naomi just standing next to him, smiling hopefully and nodding with big eyes. Taylor knows that she’s being unreasonable but she would wish that Naomi wasn’t a petite and small woman, who’s got huge eyes, seems a bit shy and radiates this incredible kindness that sickens her whenever she enters the room. She wants Naomi to be someone she can passionately hate. Someone who’s toxic and mean, who gives off bad energy. But instead, she seems to be a kind, ordinary, bi- racial woman. Someone who Taylor would want to be friends with. The last person who Taylor would have wanted as her replacement. The better choice. The easier choice.

“Yeah it would be fun to.. catch up!” Naomi then says to Taylor in her British accent, sounding a bit unsure whether she’s been taking it too far. Taylor swallows. She’s got no arguments left. If she still decides to not go with them, then she would be the bad cop. A decision she doesn’t want to have to take. Taylor slowly gets up, nods and puts on a fake smile as Eleanor already cheers on her. She seems to be way more excited than Taylor is. 

“Alright, it’s fine.” Taylor mumbles, can feel Elizabeth’s stare in her neck. She knows that it’s not fine. Not at all. 

A bit insecure, just like she was back then, Taylor slowly puts in her boots that were left in the hallway. Joe watches her and he knows this isn’t easy for her. But knowing Taylor, he also is aware that things will feel way easier once she gets to know Naomi. Once she sees that she’s so respected by someone who doesn’t even know her. Once she sees that he wants her in his life. Forever. No matter what the circumstances are. 

Joe remains standing in the hallway, watches Eleanor and Naomi with Flint leave the doorway already. Joe remains standing there, looks down at Taylor who’s still fixing her boots. Once she gets up, she exchanges a look with him and he smiles. Taylor is rolling her eyes. 

I can’t believe you make me do this.

Thank you for doing this.

With her hands in her coat, Taylor slowly starts walking next to Joe. She feels awkward to say the least. Going for a walk with Joe, their child and his new girlfriend. Naomi carefully slows down to walk right next to Joe, and seems to be more than interested to start a conversation with Taylor. 

“It’s such a beautiful weather isn’t it? I can’t believe it started snowing last night.” Naomi says and Taylor nods, can see in the corner of her eye that Joe is holding hands with her. And Taylor feels sick. To say the least. 

“Eleanor was so sad these past weeks cause it hadn’t snowed yet, so she’s ecstatic today.” Joe laughs and everyone reacts except for Taylor. She usually is excellent in smalltalk, and Joe knows that. But seeing her so quiet makes him think that it’s not even a statement she’s giving him - she probably really is at a loss for words. 

“Are you feeling better?” Joe asks her and Taylor slowly looks up, looks straight at Eleanor who’s holding Flint in her hands while walking down the street. 

“Yeah definitely.” She says, doesn’t even try to sound like she’s okay with it. Slowly but surely, she feels rage develop in her chest. She cannot believe he’s making her do this. She cannot believe after everything they’ve been though, he can just go for a walk with Eleanor and her and his new girlfriend. 

“Are you usually based in London or in America, Taylor?” Naomi then asks and Taylor can feel immediately that she’s been desperate to start a conversation with her. Taylor feels her staring at her. But she can’t face her just yet.

“Well Eleanor’s pre- school is based in London so we’re mainly here. But before covid we would travel a lot between Nashville and London.” she answers, feels actually kind of proud that she’s grown up enough to not become mean or sarcastic towards Naomi. And she can feel Joe do the same. She doesn’t have to look at him to know that he’s proud how civil she can be. 

“Wow must be nice to have homes all over the world.” Naomi says and Joe laughs quietly. She cannot believe he’s laughing at her. Cannot believe he would be with someone who’s from an entirely different world. But then again, wasn’t that what Joe was to her back then? A sweet escape from the crowded and abnormal world she’s been living in. Taylor dares to look to her left and she can see Naomi looking at her steps carefully. Maybe, Naomi is Joe’s escape from her. The most painful thought she’s had for a while.

“Well, I’m sure Joe already told you that living in two different countries at the same time isn’t as exciting as you may think.” Naomi laughs quickly, and anyone who would witness this conversation could tell immediately that Naomi is nervous. Taylor hates it. Taylor hates how nice she is. 

“Well, I was raised in southwest London and my family never could afford to travel. So to me, all of that sounds lovely.” Taylor says nothing.

“Daddy, can you help me with Flint’s collar?” Eleanor suddenly yells, already is a good six hundred meters in front of them. Joe immediately nods, starts jogging towards his daughter. Taylor and Naomi are now left behind, slowly continue walking down the street. And without taking a closer look at Naomi, Taylor can feel how happy the other woman seems to be that she has some alone time with Taylor now. 

“It sounds ridiculous, I’m sure, but you have no idea how scared I was to meet you.” Naomi then says and Taylor wishes she never would’ve started this topic. She doesn’t know anything about Naomi and she wants things to stay this way. “When I was younger I had all of your albums at my house and... I really admire you a lot.”

“Thanks.” Taylor answers, as emotionless as possible. And she can sense that Naomi feels the cold that she radiates right now. How can Joe expect her to bond with his new girlfriend on Christmas? How can he think that her love for him has ever diminished? It never could. And he used to know that. The silence between the tall blonde woman in the big black coat and the smaller woman in the red puff jacket gets louder. Taylor feels uncomfortable and she for sure knows that Naomi feels the same. 

“I know you hate me.” Naomi then says and Taylor sighs. Her anger gets more with every single word she says. 

“I don’t hate you.”

“No, I mean.. I get it. And I feel so sorry for...”

“What do you feel sorry for?” Taylor asks, a bit too aggressive for her usual self. 

“I’m sorry that Joe is making us meet over Christmas. It wasn’t my idea. I hope you know that. But I think he just... he wants things to become easier. With us. With you and your daughter. I think he just wants to finally have some peace.”

Naomi’s last sentence rips Taylor’s insides apart. She knows that she’s right. That she just said what Taylor sang years ago. Joe just wants to have peace in his life. With a partner who can give him that. With her as an ex- girlfriend and with his child. That’s all he wants. Taylor and Naomi just keep walking down the street, nothing but the gravel under their soles can be heard. 

“You know, I will never become someone for him like you were.” Naomi then says and Taylor starts to feel sick. She can’t believe that this woman won’t stop talking. It almost feels painful hearing her voice in her ears. “You... you were his first real love. Whenever we talk about these things...” she sighs, then looks back up at Tay. “He speaks a lot about you and I think there’s just so many things he’s still digesting. Please don’t ever think that..”

“Naomi...” Taylor then interrupts her because she feels like throwing up. She can’t believe that the little person next to her is opening up to her if it she was an old friend. And maybe, exactly that kindness is what drives her insane. Because deep down, Taylor knows that Joe deserves someone as caring as that. Someone who helps him heal the wounds that she created. “I don’t hate you, Naomi. But I also need you to respect that I need time. Can we not talk about Joe anymore?”

Naomi looks at Taylor with big eyes, immediately nods. She seems intimidated by the tall blonde woman and Taylor can feel how guilty she feels. Naomi shakes her head, then turns to Taylor. “God, Taylor, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I just thought maybe it would be the right way to just.. be really honest with you, but you’re so right, it was super insensible, and...”

“It’s fine.” Taylor then says, enjoys the sudden silence between them more than she expected. Taylor slowly looks up, can see Joe walking hand in hand with Eleanor. His hand lands on Eleanor’s head, and even from far away, Taylor can hear that she’s singing her favorite Christmas song. Taylor can’t help but smile for a second. Maybe, just maybe, it was all meant to be this way. Taylor still remembers ten years ago, when she first moved to New York and discovered slowly that with the lifestyle she chose, having a family and a committed relationship would be impossible. Maybe, just maybe, she was right back then. Taylor sees Joe jogging backwards, making Eleanor laugh. He seems so happy today. Playing with Eleanor, knowing he’s found someone who can give him the kind of life he was always used to, before her. The kind of life he craves. Taylor suddenly feels a new feeling in her chest. It’s a feeling she read about multiple times but never had experienced herself before, in the truest form she could imagine. She just wants him to be happy. Even if it means that she’s not part of his life anymore. At least not in the way she used to be. And she wants him to ‘digest’ whatever she did to him. Wants someone to help him heal the scars that she gave him. 

“Look at that house, baby, oh my god.” Taylor squeaks for the fifteenth time in the past hour, stops in the middle of the street again. Joe grins, takes a step back to see what she’s looking at. A tiny house in brick stone with a French balcony right on the canal. He looks down at the blonde woman and laughs. She quickly reaches for her crossbody bag, takes out her phone and takes a picture. He can’t help but laugh. 

“We’ll  go home on Sunday and you have two hundred pictures of dutch houses on your phone.” Taylor grins, but doesn’t let him stop her. She just continues to take pictures, then buries her phone in her bag again and reaches for his hand once more. In nothing but her jeans shorts, white sneakers and huge sweatshirt, Taylor walks next to Joe. It’s a lukewarm summer night. With both hands now clinging onto Joe’s, they just continue to walk down the small street somewhere here in Amsterdam. 

“I’m just in awe that there’s people living here, in this.. dream city. It’s so cozy and gorgeous. I just… Joe, I could cry how romantic this is.” Joe, who’s still walking hand in hand next to her just looks down at her with a big smile. His blonde hair a bit too long. His beard grown for his upcoming movie role. He just smiles, gets closer to her and presses a gentle kiss onto her lips. She tastes like the rose chapstick she applied earlier. 

“I’m glad you like it.” he then says, continues walking down this lane. Taylor’s eyes are everywhere right now. She’s smitten by the city, smitten by the fact that she’s experiencing this. A weekend in a beautiful European city with the love of her life. No big black cars. No security around her. She feels so free with him, so safe, so… alive.

“Thanks for taking me here and organizing everything.” She mumbles. The sun is slowly setting and she’s glad she put on her sweater. “You’re very welcome. We’re almost there.” Joe says, keeps looking at his phone to make sure they’re not missing the right lane. “I think we need to go that way.” He says, points to a tiny alley on the left. Taylor looks at him and then back at the tiny street and just laughs. “God, I fucking love Europe” she laughs, holds onto his hand a bit tighter as they make their way through the alley. Joe looks back at her and she’s amused, carefully watches her steps on the cobblestones to not trip or fall. 

“Where are you taking me? Do I have to be scared?” She asks, and Joe laughs. 

“I’m taking you out to dinner, I already told you that.” he says all smart and Taylor just shakes her head. 

“I’m really hungry. Where are we...”, within a few seconds Taylor gets quieter because she’s speechless. Just as they left the  tiny street, a massive canal with a beautiful bridge that fully lid up by small lights is right in front of them. And Taylor feels like she’s in a movie. “Beautiful here, huh?” he smiles and Taylor remains speechless. 

“Do you see this restaurant?” he asks, points to three small tables that are located right on the bridge next to the canal. Taylor just looks up at him, can’t believe he picked this romantic little restaurant for the two. 

“Are you kidding me? This is... oh my god.” With a proud smile, Joe starts walking closer to the small restaurant. Just as they stand in front, Joe starts speaking to the waiter who then accompanies Taylor and Joe to their outside table - a tiny round table on the small bridge right over the Amsterdam canal. Taylor, who truly seems to be at a loss for words just sits down together with Joe. And the blonde haired man has to laugh at her reaction. Her eyes as big as the eyes of a child and her jaw still dropped. 

“Do you like it?” he asks laughing, knows the answer himself. Taylor still looks around, unable to process how beautiful her surrounding is. She’s used to big city lights and massive crowds. But what Joe is presenting her here is quiet and calm beauty. The sunset over the old Dutch roofs. The view over the canal right from this little bridge. People who pass the street on the other side with their bikes. It’s quiet and small and beautiful. 

“Joe, this is... this is by far the most romantic restaurant I’ve ever been at. How did you... how did you find this?” she asks, her phone already in her hand, taking pictures of everything around her. And Joe can’t help but smile. This was exactly what he wanted. He wanted to make this special, wanted to show her some of the most beautiful places in the world he knows. He wants to take her to all of them. The special ones and the common ones. 

Just when he was about to open the menu, Taylor tells him to smile at her and he does so. The picture she just took of him makes her smile. He seems so happy, his eyes radiating in this picture right in the centre of this beautiful scenery right here at this restaurant. Taylor looks at this picture for a minute too long. 

This is it. This is her entire happiness. 

With a happy smile, Taylor puts her phone back into her small YSL purse and opens the menu like he just did. “What are you going to eat?” Taylor asks him and Joe smiles slightly, then looks back up at her. 

“Well I’m not sure yet but I already know what you’re gonna get.” Taylor laughs, 

“Okay and what is that?”

“Number 21 - truffle pasta with side salad. Dressing on the side.” Taylor looks back up at him and laughs in surprise again. He just knows her too well.

“Why the fuck do you read me like a book?” she jokes, and Joe can’t help but stare at her for a bit longer. She really does look incredible in this light. Her bangs a bit messy, her hair in a bun. She looks cozy in her sweater. But most of all she looks... happy. 

“I guess I just know you very well.” he says, and Taylor closes the menu and looks back up at him. It’s a loving look, an intimate one. She slowly reaches for his hand across the table and Joe also puts the menu aside. 

“You do. You really do.” she just mumbles and he feels like drowning in her eyes. Just when Joe was about to open his mouth, the waiter had already made his way to them and Joe orders - both main menus and two glasses of the Chardonnay. Taylor’s favorite. 

“Do you ever think about what our lives could be like, living here in one of these tiny houses.” Taylor then says, her eyes on her surroundings. She sounds so dreamy as so often. Her heart is the heart of a little romantic. Joe still holds her hand on the table, strokes the back of it slowly. His eyes are just on her. “Maybe you would be working at the Amsterdam theatre of arts. I would be a writer. We’d both may struggle financially but live in a tiny old flat. You would get me tulips every weekend. We would eat a lot of cheese.” Joe starts laughing then, still looking at Taylor. 

“I don’t think that’s what actual Dutch people  do on the daily, babe.” he laughs, as the waiter already approaches their table and serves them two glasses of wine. Not even for a split second, Taylor lets go off Joe’s hand. With her other hand she’s reaching for the wine glass. 

“Cheers baby. To us. Two years.” she smiles and he does the same.

“Two years. Almost.” he says and she laughs slowly.

“Oh come on, do you really think I’m breaking up with you two weeks before our anniversary?” she laughs and he just shrugs his shoulders. 

“You never know.” Taylor just shakes her head. He is silly at times. 

“But for real now, what if we quit our lives and move to Amsterdam and become ordinary people?” she asks him and Joe has to laugh once more. She really seems to be obsessed with this idea . 

“I don’t know, I like our lives.” he says, feels a sudden nervousness overcome him. It’s the first time since this weekend. The first time that it comes boiling up and scaring him a bit. 

“I mean... our lives are not normal or easy. I would like normal and easy for a while.” Taylor says, looks around herself once more. She can’t wait to send pictures of this beautiful location to her family and friends. They won’t even believe how lucky she’s been. 

“I think normal and easy is not for us. We’re not normal or easy and I love that.” he says, takes a sip off his wine glass. Taylor laughs and looks at him then. 

“No I am not normal or easy. You are though.” she jokes but Joe doesn’t react to her. She knows that it’s one of her weaknesses. Laughing when she’s nervous. Turning things that scare or worry her into a joke. Joe, who still hasn’t replied yet, just keeps staring at her. She’s so uncomfortable all of the sudden. And she never is, especially not when she’s with Joe. 

“You are normal and you are easy too. And I love you.” he says then and Taylor looks back at him. She can see so much in his eyes, in these moments. So much love and kindness, but there’s also something else. He’s holding something back. Deep down, she can feel that. 

“I know you still think you’re a burden and your life’s all complicated and all that..” he then says and Taylor freezes. There’s not been many times where he’s blurted something like this out. Without thinking twice. Just like that. Taylor swallows. Why is it that he can read her mind like that. As If she was an open book to him. “But have you ever thought for a second that you’re the only one out there I ever want to be with? I.. I don’t care about anything like that. All the.. all the complications or the not easiness or the abnormal things about your life. It’s not like that for me. I can’t ever see myself loving someone else again.” He says, ends his little speech with a smile. And Taylor just sits there, at the restaurant, holding his hand. She looks at his face but his words feel too overwhelming for her to process them. She’s had relationships before. But she’s never heard words quite like these. 

“Do you understand me?” he jokes at her speechlessness then, “I can’t be with anyone else ever again. You changed me.” 

“I changed you?” 

“You did.” Joe looks back in her eyes and he can see how deeply emotional she is. This is it, he thinks.

“You changed me, Joe. In so many ways.” He smiles, takes a deep breath, holds her little hand a bit tighter. 

“I know we never spoke about this in all seriousness, but…” he stops again, looks at her hands, before looking back up at her again. He feels shaky all of the sudden. His hands become a bit more sweaty than usually. “But.. how would you feel about.. things getting more serious in the future.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“How would you feel if I asked you to marry me?” Taylor sits there, a soothing evening breeze passing her face. She just smiles at him, doesn’t say anything. Then, without her controlling it, Taylor starts laughing. Loudly. Joe swallows. This was not quite the reaction he was hoping for. 

“Baby, are you proposing to me? Or what is this?” Joe takes a breath, then laughs with her. He’s a bit insecure, but he’s shaking it off quite well. Acting school seems to have paid off.

“I’m not, I just wanted to speak to you about it. I mean… do you ever want to get married and have kids, or what are your plans in like… years down the road.” 

“Of course I want to marry you. And I want us to have tall blonde weird ass kids.” she smiles across the table, “but.. we’re not there yet. I mean, we’re not even thirty yet. I just.. I definitely need a bit longer.” She laughs and Joe nods. He also takes a sip of his wine glass now. He definitely needs that. 

“Do you feel differently?” She asks him then and he shakes his head. 

“No, no I fully agree with you. I mean.. I’m 27. Way too young.” he mumbles, and Taylor reaches his hand again. 

“Hey, look at me.” she says then, almost whispering because she knows he will hear her. “It’s you and me until the day I die. No matter if you love someone else or.. if you hate me. I will always love you, even when you don’t love me anymore.”

A dog barks at the end of the road. The soft snow underneath her boots creak slightly. For the first time since minutes, Taylor looks up in front of her again. Joe and Eleanor are still a good three hundred meters in front of them, have now started to pick a snowball fight. Just the two of them. And the tall man seems unlucky, seems to have taught his daughter very well. Every now and then, he acts as if Eleanor’s snowball hit him very hard. Harder than humanly possible. And Eleanor loves it, giggles excitedly while speaking to Flint about her next move. 

You left me. You left me. You left me no choice but to stay here forever.

Taylor feels her body vibrating. She immediately stops, turns around at the woman next to her. “Uhm Naomi, can you.. can you walk up to Joe and tell him I need to finish something really quick. He.. he’ll know. See you later.” Naomi nods a bit confused, and it’s only then that Taylor notices how insecure the woman seems. She’s looking at Taylor, trying hard to understand her. Trying hard to read her. It’s this moment, in which Taylor understands that it’s also not easy being in her position. She’s the one who wasn’t there. Who hasn’t lived through the past years. 

But Joe and her did. Every second. 

More determined than before, she then turns around, already picks her phone as soon as she’s a few meters away from her. Within a matter of seconds, Taylor opens her recording app, stares at her phone for a few seconds and closes the app again. She then goes back to her picture folder, scrolls up for a few seconds. Right until she’s found it. Found something she didn’t want to see for a long time. 

07.54pm, Amsterdam, Netherlands, September 4th, 2018. 

Her phone still reminds her. Taylor stares at this picture for a while. Joe indeed, looked so happy. Sitting in the small restaurant by the canal. Holding her hand. Believing that they were forever. Having his mum’s ring in his pocket. Little did he know then that this evening would be the first time she would refuse his proposal. Taylor touches his face on the screen for a few seconds, then closes the app again. She goes back into her recordings, holds the phone close to her and begins to sing quietly. She doesn’t want anyone to notice her. To notice her singing nonsense into her phone - which has been the only dealing mechanism she’s ever known. She closes her eyes, right on this snowy winter day, and she’s back. Back in Amsterdam. Back in summer. 

“Help, I'm still at the restaurant, still sitting in a corner I haunt, cross-legged in the dim light, everything was just right..”

[holidaywishes]

and now we’re here

  Requested: 👍

  Summary/Request: This one is a collab with @kayleafs221​! We flash back with (Y/N) after Freddie left her and to her finding out she was pregnant

  Author’s Note: We have a part three! I wasn’t going to do more than two but @kayleafs221 wants ✨drama✨ so we’re gonna see what we can conjure up together. We teamed up to see how much drama we could fit in so hopefully it fits the bill. @kayleafs221 also mentioned that she wanted to structure this sort of how New Moon was written so we went with it! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I’ve got one last chapter in me to make it all fluffy and bring these two back together! Stay Golden, loves! <3

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

  It had already been a month. You kept telling yourself you shouldn’t be so devastated but he hadn’t called or even texted. You were alone. He had left you completely alone and he wasn’t coming back. You found yourself curled up in his large hoodie on the bathroom floor for the umpteenth time while your chest tightened with every sob and gasp you took as if he took your lungs with him; falling asleep clinging to the last piece you had of him.

Month 2

  You had no choice. You had to throw yourself into work, it was all you could do. Even when you were home, your laptop was out. You let yourself be distracted in any way you could but even that was no use. You had been sick all week and your boss had made you stay home. You didn’t know what to do as you sat on your couch refusing to watch movies because they were all the same. Always a happy ending and the thought of love and sex made you sick, sick to your stomach. You were determined to do something productive, maybe going for a walk would make you feel better. A walk by the beach. It was just as you remembered it. Beautiful. Peaceful. Suddenly your mind was flooded.

  “I’ve been traded to Toronto. I leave at 4am.” What bullshit was that? How could he leave so suddenly and not even be phased? Not have any remorse for any of it?

  “Stay in touch Freddie.” You were so stupid to think that he would care enough to keep whatever this was going long distance. You had to face reality, that you didn’t mean anything to him. It came again, the dizziness, the shortness of breath. It couldn’t be stopped this time. There was only black. You woke up to the incessant sound of beeping, beeping, what was all that beeping? Your eyes were met with an uncomfortable brightness. This isn’t the beach, you thought to yourself, before rubbing your head, “What?” you started to say, confused as to how you ended up in a hospital bed

  “Ah, Miss (Y/L/N) I see you are awake,” the nurse checking your vitals said, “I’ll get the doctor for you, I’m sure you have many questions.” Sitting yourself up, you watched her leave the room before finding the clock and realizing that it had been two hours since you went to the beach. You couldn’t believe you were unconscious for that long, this was crazy, “she’s still groggy” the nurse said, directing the doctor to your bedside

  “That’s normal,” the doctor explained with a smile, “well, we’ve run some tests and you’re severely dehydrated”

  “Dehydrated?” you asked, “I don’t un– I mean I haven’t been out of bed for a couple weeks but I’ve just been dealing with some things”

  “Seven” he smiled, checking the paperwork in front of him casually

  “Excuse me?” you replied, furrowing your brow

  “Seven weeks,” he added, “my guess is that you haven’t been drinking a lot of water”

  “I haven’t really been up for it” you cowered

  “Well, please do,” the doctor said, “for your baby’s sake”

  “I’m sorry what?” you exclaimed, “Baby?” you said, shaking your head

  “Yes,” the doctor repeated, “you’re about seven weeks along. Give or take a couple days. All women handle their pregnancies differently, which might account for your drowsiness and any mood swings you may have been experiencing”

  “I’m not pregnant” you scoffed, readjusting yourself in your bed

  “You are” the doctor returned your scoff, seemingly annoyed at your behaviour

  “I can’t be…”

  “The results say otherwise”

  “But I haven’t had sex, I haven’t left my bed in.. like two months”

  “Which is about seven weeks”

  “But I… I can’t be pregnant”

  “Is there anyone we can call for you?”

  “No… there’s no one” you lowered your eyes as the realization came over you.

Month 3

  After you were released from the hospital, you tried to make the pregnancy easier on yourself by reading a million books and telling your parents what you needed or letting your mom tell you what she thought you needed

  “You know what I think will really help?” she said, “telling the father…”

  “Mom…” you whined

  “He deserves to know, too.” She was right, of course, as all mom’s usually are so you agreed to reach out but you deleted his number when you convinced yourself it was better to forget about him, forcing you to search him out online; a huge mistake really. There were stories about girls who he’d slept with and left ‘in his wake,’ none of which you could be sure of their validity, but then you’d find pictures of him hanging out with Auston Matthews or William Nylander or any of the younger teammates in clubs and bars and you could only imagine that their behaviours spilled into his, so you let it go.

Month 9

  “But what happens when that kid is born with red hair and freckles? Or when he’s a natural athlete?” your sister asked

  “What do you mean?” you scoffed

  “You can’t hide that,” she tried, tilting her head as she continued, hoping you’d get her point. “He’s gonna know. If there’s a picture, he’s gonna know. He’s not dense…”

  “The kid probably won’t be a red head. So he’d never know..” you said knowing very well it could be a possibility. She huffed when she realized she wouldn’t get through your stubbornness. As time went on, you realized that there was no use denying it, Jackson was already excelling at every sport he tried. Knowing this, you kept him as far away from ice as possible. You knew it was wrong but you just couldn’t risk it, especially after so many of the Ducks already knew you. Whenever you thought about reaching out and telling him the truth, something was being said about him. He seemed to be a magnet for negativity.

  “Possible Frederik Andersen injury a very troubling turn for Maple Leafs”

  “Maple Leafs placing all their faith in Frederik Andersen”

  “Andersen Said What Every Maple Leaf Fan Is Thinking”

  “Maple Leafs goalie Frederik Andersen fined $2K for embellishment”

  “Toronto Maple Leafs: Andersen has been a Disaster”

  Every headline seemed to be worse than the last and you knew that if you were feeling stressed just reading them, then he was probably shutting himself away to hide from everyone after living with them. This was a normal thing for goalies to go through in the NHL but there was something about the way Toronto was treating Freddie that made you want to be there for him. But you couldn’t make a decision like that so easily anymore. It wasn’t just about you and your feelings anymore, you had your baby boy to think about and the older he got, the more you could see his personality grow and the more his personality grew, the happier he was; you couldn’t imagine taking that away from him. You couldn’t take that life away from him. But watching Freddie’s career hit highs and lows, noticing he was alone through most of it, your heart broke for him. You hoped that, somehow, your love would reach him. You hoped for his happiness even before your own. Even so, you would protect your son through everything, knowing that meant it might cost you the truest of love.

Toronto 2021

  “Why did you lie to me?” Freddie said under his breath. You could tell he was angry and there was no getting away from this.

  “What are you talking about? I didn’t lie. I told you I had a one night stand with some guy– why are we even talking about this again?” You tried your best to keep the story straight, hoping to appease him

  “You lied about Jackson not being mine!” he started to shout

  “I didn’t…” you stammered. There’s no way. He couldn’t know. You had made sure of it

  “I did the math… I saw your post and I went back because something didn’t… add up…” he admitted, “and the math didn’t fit with some one night stand. That kid in there, who looked an awful lot like me as a kid, he’s mine. And you lied about it. You kept it from me, kept HIM from me!”

  “HE’S MY SON!” you cried. Everything was falling apart and you weren’t sure what to do anymore. There was no getting around this, you had to let out what you’d been holding in from that night, “and you left me! YOU LEFT US!”

  “BUT HE’S MY SON TOO!” he countered and you furrowed your brow, shaking your head as you tried to think of what to say next.

  “I made a choice, Freddie. I looked at how quickly our life together changed and I… made a choice. I couldn’t put a child through all of that. Moving at the drop of a hat, having to say goodbye to friends and homes and cities whenever your job called for it… You never looked back, you never reached out. After two months of waiting, I woke up alone in a hospital and you didn’t even care to call. So I did this. I HAD TO” you confessed, sorrow filling your eyes as you watched his face soften. “So yeah, I lied. But I didn’t lie to hurt you. I lied to protect him. No matter what. I make no apologies for that.”

  “How was I supposed to know that you were in the hospital?”

  “It doesn’t matter, Freddie,” you sighed, “the point is, you left and I was alone and I couldn’t wait for you.”

  “So what now?”

  “I don’t know,” you started. “If this had happened before you got traded, our life would’ve been so different. I pictured it, you know,” you smiled, “our life. With Jackson. We looked so happy in my daydreams”

  “We could be happy like that,” he whispered, moving close to you, “in real life”

  “I can’t change his life for you”

  “I don’t want you to change his life,” he smiled, closing the gap between the two of you and you felt your heartbeat in your head, making it hard to think straight, “I just want to be part of it...”

  “He doesn’t know who you are” you said through bated breath

  “Let’s tell him then” he exclaimed

  “No,” you insisted, putting your hands on his forearms, “if we’re going to do this, we have to take it slow”

  “Slow?” he asked, leaning down to your ear, “how slow?”

  “I just don’t want him to feel overwhelmed,” you replied, your hands drifting up his arms, “just... start by introducing yourself to him... We’ll have lunch”

  “I can do that” he smirked, pushing your hair back before laying a kiss to the exposed skin of your collarbone

  “You have to be patient”

  “I can do that” he repeated as a moan left your mouth

  “I don’t know if you can” you chuckled, finally pushing him away from you

  “I can”

  “I’m serious”

  “So am I!” he laughed, placing his hands on your hips to stop you from turning around, “he’s my son and I will do anything to get to know him”

  “He can’t know you’re his dad yet,” you said again, “I know it seems weird but, please, just don’t fight me on this”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it”

  “Good” you joked, cocking your eyebrow before he smiled at you. That smile always broke you, always made your heart louder than your head, and, right now, you were more than happy to listen to it. He met you in the middle, pressing a kiss to your lips before his hands pushed your body into his and suddenly, it all felt so perfect. Like no time had passed. He was yours again and you were determined to keep it that way.

[boilyerheid]

Could I request Tom avoiding/forgetting to eat in the FTAGH verse?

Tom's lost more than half a stone since his mum got put on her last strike at the clinic for hiding pills in her room - half a stone he didn't really have going spare to begin with. He'd been starting to firm up and fill out a bit since moving in with Ed, the structure of someone else's mealtimes easing him into actually eating on a regular basis despite his unpredictable schedule, but since that warning call from the rehab staff he's fallen back into his most stressed-out habits.

He reminds Ed of a hummingbird when he gets like this, flitting around and barely staying still long enough to rest, running mainly on sugar and caffeine if his prodigious coffee consumption is anything to go by. The nervous energy worries Ed, as does the fact Tom seems to consume nothing solid but sweets and the occasional piece of toast (Ed might find ketchup on toast abhorrent, but he'll happily make it for his boyfriend when it's something he'll actually eat), but he doesn't want to add to the stress by prying.

At least, until Tom gets up from the sofa one evening and experiences a head-rush so severe that Ed has to catch him before he collapses onto the coffee table. Then they're having a conversation. Immediately.

"I got a bit dizzy," Tom folds his arms defensively, flushed with embarrassment now he's come back to himself. He looks brittle like this, sharp around the edges in a way he shouldn't. "I'm fine. Sorry I scared you."

"Tom, you almost fainted. That's not fine." Ed's trying his best not to be too confrontational - he knows Tom will clam up if he starts accusing him of doing anything abnormal - but his pulse is still ringing in his ears from the fright and they do need to address this. "And you frightened the life out of me, actually."

"Sorry," he doesn't meet Ed's eyes, looking studiously at the rug and not inviting further conversation. Ed bites back a sigh, because he would be trying to pick his way through this extremely tricky knot with only his clumsy words as a tool, wouldn't he?

"Look, I know you're... finding food difficult at the moment," he can't think of how else to put it. Tom's not denying himself when he wants to eat, from what Ed can tell, he just... doesn't want to like usual. "And I know things are hard with your family right now, but you do still have to take care of yourself, darling. You'd be livid if I made myself ill like this."

"I'm not-"

"Nearly passing out is ill, Tommy," Ed very rarely snaps, so when he does it's enough to get Tom's full attention. Ed sets his hand on his knee and squeezes gently, because he's not angry but he is deeply concerned. "I'm worried about you, please talk to me."

There's a long silence during which Tom glares at the middle distance and Ed just waits. His boyfriend may be endlessly patient when it comes to helping Ed deal with his issues, but he treats his own like an offensive inconvenience of the worst kind - a display of weakness which stains his character somehow. Despite all the progress he's made, Tom's still terrible about being kind to himself.

"It's very difficult to have no control over anything," he mutters tightly, not looking at Ed and clearly hating every second of having to talk about this. At least he's pushing through to actually do it. "I know it's a bad habit, okay? But I'm not trying to do it, I'm just... I've been like this since I was little - I can't eat when I'm really stressed. I forget because I'm thinking about more important stuff, and then the idea of doing it... It's just a phase that'll pass, it never lasts long."

"What can I do to make it easier?" Ed doesn't voice any of the other questions that bubble up inside him immediately, because the answers would be for his benefit rather than Tom's. They can discuss the hows and whys later - right now he's focused on getting his boyfriend well. "It doesn't have to be anything that adds more pressure, we just need to keep you going until you're less stressed. Does that sound reasonable?"

"I s'pose," Tom admits, cautiously, and Ed gives him an encouraging smile when he finally looks up. It's a fragile thing Tom's trusting him with here, this fractured little piece of him that Ed's almost certain nobody else knows about. "If it's already there, I won't let it go to waste. I won't enjoy it, but..."

"So if I put dinner in front of you?"

"As long as you don't let me beg off and freeze it, yeah," he shrugs, arms still folded like he can hold himself together that way. Ed works his fingers gently into the crook of one elbow - a small, familiar touch to remind Tom that it's okay to let his guard down. "This is so bloody embarrassing. I'm sorry, Ned, you shouldn't have to-"

"I'm not cross, sweetheart." Ed doesn't kiss him when he's wound up so tight, but he squeezes Tom's forearm in its place. "But if the next words out of your mouth are about how I shouldn't take care of you, then I will be."

Tom, reluctantly, takes the hint.

[glitxhwayventeen]

Ghostin

Seungkwan: Chapter 4 (One Last Time)

Characters: Seungkwan x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, angst (a shit ton of sadness honestly), semi-unrequited love, death mentions, kidnapping mentions, runaway mates, family fighting, implied violence. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: Sorry it’s a bit short, but it’s because I had to put this into so many different perspectives. The next chapter will be an explanation of what the fuck is actually happening.

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Tag list- @studioreader @imtotallydef

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

🥀

Ghostin Master List

Chapter 4: One Last Time

You weren’t sure how you found yourself here to be completely honest. You remembered falling asleep at the top of a tree for safety one minute and the next, you were being forcibly drug down by your hair. It woke you up from a dead rest. Now, you were being roughly slug around the forest floor to some unknown destination.

You weren’t even sure who it was because the grip he had on the base of your scalp was too tight for you to turn around. You knew it wasn’t a female as the hand was far too big and far too rough to be anything feminine. You also knew the man wasn’t alone. There were three other wolves with him, except they were actually shifted to look like wolves. The man wasn’t.

You could hear them all growling and snarling at each other, you assumed they were using their pack telepathy with each other so you wouldn’t hear what was doing on. It scared you, they weren’t particularly aiming any of their sneers at you, it didn’t seem like the actual men in their wolf forms even wanted to hurt you, but you knew their conversations couldn’t be about anything good. You just had a gut feeling that you didn’t like where it was going…

Hurry up! You know the deal: if she’s not back before sunrise it’s off. And he already upheld his end. One of the wolves sneered to the others, trying to get them to pick up their pace.

I’m trying, but you try dealing with her. She’s squirming like a fucking worm. The one in his human form rolled his eyes as he used his pack telepathy to speak to his brothers.

No shit Sherlock you’re pulling her by the hair. She’s probably uncomfortable. There was a thousand ways we could’ve handled this yet you decided to do it this way. The first wolf chirped in.

Do you SERIOUSLY think she would’ve came with us willingly? Everything we’ve been told about this girl is enough to know that she does whatever the fuck she wants when she wants. This is the only way to deal with her. The man growled at the other men, causing you to jump in his hold at the sudden noise.

Dude quit it! I know you’re an asshole you little fucker but scaring her is completely unnecessary. The quietest wolf, the third one, declared.

Fuck off! I said I’d do this. I never said I’d do it your way! The human of the group chuckled.

You’re a fucking asshole man! She’s just a little girl! The second wolf exclaimed with a huff.

Yeah yeah whatever. Let’s just get this over with so I can go back to bed. I don’t have all day! The man jerked you forward slightly as you picked up his speed.

The others followed behind him, not wanting to piss the strongest amongst them off. But truth be told, he was always pissed off. That’s what worried them.

-

The man lowly growled loud enough to the others to make your eyes all but pop out of your head in fear. You thought it was at you so you tried to move around as little as possible so the little kidnapping scene wouldn’t be worse, even though not moving as much meant feeling much more pain.

It seemed to make your human captor happy, though you heard a small whimper come from one of the others. You weren’t sure why or which one. You were just sure you absolutely had to get away before they did whatever it was that they planned to do to/with you. You just didn’t know how.

It’s not that you were helpless, You were just a small girl. Sure you were a wolf, but four against one wasn’t exactly the best odds and you didn’t know what they planned on doing with you. Seungkwan had told you horror stories about mate stealers and what they did to their prey. You refused to let that be you. You refused to let anyone take you and you refused to be with anyone other than your loving mate.

But as the thought passed through your head, a tight pang rung through your heart. You missed Seungkwan. You missed his rounded face, you missed his sparkly eyes, you missed his compassion and love. You missed HIM.

Panic ran throughout your body at the possibility of never seeing him again. What IF you never saw him again? What would you do? Your entire being longed for him. You hadn’t seen him in so long, it was painful to even think of his delicate face.

You heard the man chuckle and it caused you to tense up. Why was he laughing all of a sudden? They already had you in their grip, did they really have to taunt you and terrorize you too? You couldn’t phase, you had to be standing still and able to focus to do that. You couldn’t try to contact your mate, your spell had cut off most of your connection to him. You couldn’t even contact his pack because until your mating bond was complete, you weren’t technically part of their pack. In your mind, you were completely royally fucked.

And all you could think about was Seungkwan. You knew it hurt him that you left. But what else were you supposed to do? Everyone was clearly so upset with your for being there, you couldn’t stay. It wasn’t fair to them to have to deal with you and it wasn’t fair for him to constantly have to defend you. You did what you had to do.

But that doesn’t mean tears weren’t religiously flowing down your face at this point. No matter what you said or how many times you tried to forget, you still loved him. He was your mate. How could you not? So being away from him was hard.

And now, thinking of the last words you had said to him possibly being the last ones you’d ever actually said to him, you wished you could take it back. You wished you could take it all back. You should’ve told him you loved him more. You should’ve held his hand more. You should’ve loved him better. Why did you push him away when he was only trying to be your support system?

You didn’t think he could feel you anymore. He hadn’t heard from you in so long probably already thought you were dead, which meant dollars to donuts, HE already was dying. You didn’t want him to die. The thought made new tears prick at the side of your eyes that you tried to hold back so you wouldn’t show the kidnappers any weakness.

You wanted to go home. You wanted to lay in bed next to your mate and forget everything else in the world. You wanted nothing else to matter but him. You knew you must’ve been close to your end now. You just wanted to see him One Last Time. You knew no one even knew that you were in trouble, and so you also knew that no one was coming to your rescue.

Little did you know, your rescuer wasn’t too far behind you…

-

He dashed through the forest floor, following the sudden pounding of his heart to find you. He couldn’t smell you, he couldn’t sense you. But he knew that you were in danger. He knew you thought you were going to die. And even though the past week had made him WANT to die, he would NEVER give up if you were in trouble or needed him.

He knew the second he felt dizzy and like the air had gotten knocked out of his lungs that you were in a life or death situation. He wasn’t about to let something happen to you. He dashed out of the house before he even finished his breakfast, leaving it on the table to sit and get cold near his brothers. He didn’t even tell them where he was going or why he was going there. He just left.

He knew all he had to do was follow his heart and his pains to you and he’d be able to find you. His feet were killing him and were probably completely bloody from the cuts he could feel slicing through his skin every now and then, but he didn’t care. This was his chance, possibly his last chance to see you again.

He’d do whatever it took to protect you, even if it meant he wouldn’t make it out. He’d still do whatever it took to get you to safety. He’d find you and save you. He didn’t care if he would die in order to protect you. He just had to save you.

(Updated 9/30)

[brinkofdiscovery]

Tyler Whitman

TW: Guns, Death

Reaping was a good job. Ending the suffering of the dying, escorting their vulnerable souls to a new life--it was nice. It was easy to view it in a positive light. The actual act of taking the soul, though, that was something Tyler hadn’t gotten used to. It was the sight of it, mostly. It wasn’t messy or violent by any means, but seeing his hand phase through someone’s chest so he could pluck the soul from their body? It was just strange, and it was something he could definitely do without. Typically though, if he was lucky, his client would already be dead by the time he got there, and it'd be resting outside the body for easy picking. Unfortunately this time he’d find no such luck. And in the ungodly hours of this Wednesday morning he was wrist deep in metaphysical energy in the middle of an ice cold hospice room.

It was over quickly enough though, and soon he was on his way out, invisible to the nurse who entered just as he’d slipped out into the hallway. The door opened on its own, and Tyler stepped out into the cold morning air of the hospital parking lot. The streetlights overhead were dim, and didn’t offer enough light to hide the faint glow of the soul Tyler cradled in his hands--everything his client once was, now just a small, swirling little orb of dull red light. Tyler had never been able to grasp what made any soul glow the way it did; it was something to do with energy, something about the life it’d led. A lot of talk about guilt and clarity and light that he'd never really understood. This one was dull though, clouded with dark maroon patches that spun and twisted around the bright red that tried to shine through beneath it. He didn’t know what that meant specifically about the woman he pulled it from or the life she had led, but Life had explained it well enough that he at least knew it wasn’t a black and white binary of “good and bad.” This soul was just old, and complex, and in desperate need of cleansing. It wasn’t his place to judge, his job was just to deliver her safely. He was still watching the colors swim when the smell of hickory smoke filled the air, thick and rich and wholly unnatural in the middle of a medical complex. He looked up to see the smoke clouding the streetlights above him, and before long he could feel the heat of it’s flame against the back of his neck. He spun around on his heel, drawing his gun from his hip and taking steady aim for the plume of hellfire burning only a few feet in front of him. Tyler had never met a demon before, but as the flames eventually died down to a simmer, it wasn’t hard to recognize the man standing in the ashes for what he was. Fire licked at the heels of heavy, muddy work boots as he stepped out of the rising pillar of smoke. Golden eyes almost seemed to glow in the low morning light as they traced a line from the pistol in Tyler’s hand, down to the soul held protectively at his side, and finally back up to meet the unwavering glare of the reaper himself. The demon smiled wide, plucking his cigarette from his teeth before breaking the silence with a low whistle. “Well shit, you were ready for me, now weren’t you?” He brought his cigarette up to his lips, taking a final, slow drag before he tossed it aside all together. “Here I was thinking I was doing a good job sneaking up on you.” Tyler didn’t waver. He didn’t move. He kept his aim true, and at his side his grip tightened securely around his client’s fragile soul.

“It’s a joke.” The demon continued, stepping aside to motion to the still-smoldering circle of broken pavement and ash behind him. “See I came in real loud with the fire and the smoke and--” “What do you want?” Tyler pushed his weapon forward, frustration mingling with the tremor in his voice. He held his gaze steady. The demon blinked, staring right back at Tyler for a few quiet moments. “I’m Clay.” He offered, “Clayton, I guess. If you’re wanting to be professional about it, but nobody really calls me--” “What do you want!” Tyler pushed his pistol forward again and cocked the hammer back, his other hand tightened once more, a white knuckle grip straining against the fragile mass of energy. Clayton smiled again. He motioned to Tyler’s left hand with a subtle nod, “Careful, there.” Tyler balked at the motion, and fury rose in his chest as the demon refused to answer him. He spared a quick glance away from him, down to the soul in his hand, before he noticed the way it was straining and twisting frantically against the force of his grip. He kept his gun aimed for Clay, but he turned his attention to the soul instead as he loosened his grip and drew it closer to his chest. “God, what...” He turned the soul over gently in his hand, searching for any splintering or damage he might have done. It looked okay for the most part, but it was spinning faster now, dizzy and scared and struggling to right itself. “What do you--no.” He held a finger up to Clayton before he could open his mouth. “I know what you want. Don’t talk. I know exactly why you’re here, I just…” He trailed off, staring at the soul as its frantic twisting colors returned to a gentle, slow spiral. There was a barely visible crack along it’s surface that he could see now, and some kind of strange, irregular flashing branching out from it, just below the surface. He frowned and ran his thumb over the damage before exhaling sharply. He turned his attention back to Clay, who had leaned in to watch everything with an infuriating, self-satisfied smile. “How long you been doing this, kid?” “Seventy years.” Tyler answered. “Shit, seventy years!” He almost laughed, “That ain’t nothing. You ever lost a soul before?” Tyler’s pistol pushed closer again, the barrel was almost pressed against Clay’s forehead now. He looked more amused than threatened, as if he was considering raising a hand to ease the gun off to the side. Instead Clay just raised his hands slowly and took a step back. “Easy, now, I’m not gonna take it from you. I’m asking. I don’t think I could take you in a fight.” Tyler scoffed and rolled his eyes, clutching the soul closer to the fabric of his shirt. “Fuck off.” “Hey, I mean it! Not much of a point in trying when you could just.” He made a motion like he was reaching into his own chest and yanking something out with a closed fist. Tyler frowned at the suggestion, but he lowered his weapon just a fraction of an inch. “So you think I’m going to give it to you?” “I want it. I think you should.” “And that’s it? That’s all you’ve got? You think I’m going to compromise my job, break the fundamental laws of life and death--” Clay dropped his head back and rolled his eyes. “Damn it kid it ain’t that big of a deal, loosen up! You been doing this for seventy years now and you’re telling me you ain’t ever traded off a single soul?” “This is a person.” Tyler insisted. “Yeah it was, and she was a piece of shit.” “She gets another chance!” “Do you even know what she did?” “It doesn’t matter!” He stepped closer, raising his aim again and stopping just short of placing the barrel against Clay’s forehead. “It doesn’t matter who she was, or what she did, or how many times you fucking ask me; she gets another chance!” Clay opened his mouth to interrupt, but Tyler desperately shook the gun in his face, his blood boiling at the sight of Clay not even bothering to hide his amusement. “You’re not getting this soul,” Tyler snarled. “You can show up to bug me every time she dies for fifty more lifetimes, and the answer will be the same. It’s coming with me, it’s going to be cleansed, and renewed, and put back out into the world, and there’s nothing you can do to stop that. Do you hear me?” Clay blinked slowly, entertained, but thoroughly unimpressed. After a moment he conceded with a shrug and stepped away. He pulled a cigarette from his shirt pocket and brought his hand up to block the wind as he brought it to his lips. Hickory smoke started to fill the air again. “Give it fifty more years. You’ll change your tune.” Hellfire rose up from behind him, reaching out to embrace him again, and he stepped backwards to meet it halfway. The flames climbed higher, and with them rose that unearthly thick smoke that stung at Tyler’s eyes and choked the air. “I’ll be around, kid.” Clay called out before the flames finally swallowed him. The fire roared, impossibly tall and impossibly bright before it finally reached its peak and fell. The flames spread low across the pavement before they finally suffocated and died, and Clay was gone, leaving behind only ash and burning embers. Tyler lowered his gun, finally. He could feel the warmth of the soul against his chest, now. It was still struggling, still sending those flickering bursts of light out from the fracture he’d caused. He sighed, and holstered his gun so that he could smooth a comforting hand over its surface. “Come on,” He said softly, “Let’s get you somewhere safe.”

[creativia10]

First Wip: Dukeceit Vs

Summary: Vigilante Janus has to deal with the chaos that is the newest villain wreaking havoc. Yet they both find themselves drawn to one another.

Notes: I decided to go ahead and try posting some of these unfinished wips. This was actually one of the first fics I attempted to write after deciding I wanted to try and participate in Dukeceit week. I actually really liked this one. I think my original intention was for this to be for the Free day (although I ended up getting a lot of Dukeceit ideas that didn't fit into the prompts). I can see myself getting back to it eventually. Sorry for the abrupt cutoff it ends with at the moment.

Pairing: Janus x Remus

Word count: 2014

Warnings: implied background violence? , innuendos (implied kink), sexual tension

Janus nearly had to swerve as he felt his weight shifted into the wall of the building he was next to.

Well this was new.

Once he got his bearings, he carefully righted himself, testing that the ground was no longer shifting underneath him, and carefully made his way out of the alley he had changed in, still using the wall as a railing in case some other natural shift occurred. He peered out of the alley carefully, working into the natural suaveness his vigilante costume normally gave him.

The city…looked like a mess. He almost couldn’t begin to describe it. Roadways were shifted about, all sorts of objects were around in a disarray as though blown there. There were simultaneous evidence of flooding and fires. Janus had never before seen such a catastrophic mess left around. He wouldn’t have believed such a thing was there if he weren’t seeing it with his own eyes.

He sighed, and carefully stepped about to find the source of all this chaos. It didn’t take long for him to hear a maniacal cackle.

“Oh what fun!”

A man dressed in all black with accents in various outlandish neon colors was floating in the middle of the city, over what looked like swirling ground debris?

He was looking about, seeming to laugh at people’s reactions to the mess he had made. Attention at things such as people trying to fix wind ruined hair, and turning around as though dizzy in disbelief. He didn’t even seem to notice Janus at first.

Janus stepped up to him and cleared his throat.

“I’m not sure why I expected anything else, “ Janus said dryly. Of all things to say first to the new chaos.

The source of chaos turned to face Janus, and tilted his head, an unhinged twinkle to his eye before suddenly his earth twister collapsed and he landed right on the ground. There was an unpleasant sound as he landed, but the man didn’t seem phased as he looked over Janus. He had strange vibrant eyes, that gave Janus a radioactive feel.

“Hmm, you the goodie here to kill my buzz?”

Janus scoffed. “Gosh no. Do I look like a bright colored government ken doll? I clearly have way more class than them. I’m just someone who wants to make sure my life doesn’t get swept up in whatever craziness this is, and have the means to do so. I’d liked to see the end of the day, and I surely expected the road being twisted into a column is not going to be helpful to getting me to work tomorrow.”

The other just stared at him for a moment before he snorted.

“Ah, that’s a good one. See…I’m not done so,” He shrugged and went back to pointing around and zapping strange bouts of nature around the city.

“Are you even putting thought into what you’re doing?” Janus asked as he slyly brought himself closer.

“Or are you just doing your best to be an annoying menace to me?”

“Hmm,” he tapped his fingers to his lips, weird bits floating around.

“I mean, I didn’t have a particular plan, but I guess annoying you is a bonus.”

Just before Janus could pull out one of his weapons, a water tentacle slunk up from out of nowhere, and pulled him towards the black clad menace, wrapping him up and restraining him. The other laughed.

“Ah, now let’s have a looksy here.”

He walked around and seemed to be taking in Janus. Janus struggled and tried to get out of the hold, surprised there was such a firm pressure and that it was hard to break hold off. He wrinkled his nose when he got a whiff that suggested this water was not the cleanest.

“Hmm,” the villain was much closer now. Janus continued to struggle, glaring at the other, who simply smiled at him.

“Ok, “

Janus rolled his eyes. He concentrated, and Remus jumped at the unexpected slithering sensation around his ankle, which helped release Janus from the water hold.

Remus looked down to see the yellow and green snake there.

“Ah, you can summon snakes. Neato.” He then reached backward and got hold of Janus’ wrists before he could use the other snake like fanged object and surprisingly brought Janus up against his back, but he held the strength.

“Oh, snakey, if you wanted to wrap me up to bind me so badly, you only needed to ask.”

Janus grimaced and tried to break out of Menace’s hold, who in turn spun him around and pressed Janus back to his front this time. Menace made a sound somewhere between a growl and a purr.

“I say, I rather like you against me.”

Janus’ eyes widened, suddenly very aware of just how warm Menace’s body was against his. He tried to get ahold of his breath, struggling for a comeback.

“What, no quip back?” Menace asked, sounding far too pleased with himself.

Janus huffed out a breath and tried his other trick again.

“Oh, that’s not going to work on me, dear.” Menace said, even when snakes wrapped around his ankles.

“You’re not concerned about them being venomous?”

“You would kill me?”

“I’m a vigilante, I play by my own rules.”

“That wasn’t an answer~,” Menace sang. “And I’m sure this would be less fun if I died.”

“Who said anything about fun? That’s your thing.”

“Mhmm~. Sure.”

He leaned in some to whisper into Janus’ ear,

“Isn’t there a thrill to being close to a rival whose intentions you don’t know?”

For some reason, the way he said that gave Janus shivers. He quickly tried to think of something else he could summon to get him out of this position before he completely lost his composure.

“Aha!” A familiar voice cried.

“Release the snakey villain, you new fiend.”

However, the obnoxious ‘hero’s’ entrance gave Janus the distraction he needed. Janus stamped on Menace’s foot and elbowed him enough to be able to get out of his grasp. He turned to face him, eyes flashing.

Menace simply laughed.

“Oh.”

“Your villainous deeds have now come to an end now that I-“

Janus shot a gag at him.

Menace cackled.

“Didn’t expect you to do that.”

“He’s annoying.”

The hero wrestled the gag out and stamped his foot.

“Hey! I am trying to save the day!”

“Mhm, and I’m trying to cut down a pest, so out of my way.”

“As if I would let the sly likes of you determine your own moral law on how we retain the bads of this city!”

“Oh blah blah blah, gosh, does he always blather on like this?”

“Indeed.”

The hero gasped in offense.

“Anyways, I really did not come here to fight two people today. So if you’re determined, I’m gonna head out. “

“Aww, but you’re probably more fun to fight!”

Janus just stated at Menace for a moment.

“What?”

Menace laughed, and then zoomed away on another earth twister.

“Aren’t you gonna go after him?” Janus asked the hero.

“But first-“ the hero started.

Janus rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He threw a smoke bomb and left before the hero could turn that into another needless battle, like he tended to do.

-

Janus wasn’t sure what he expected to come of that, but it wasn’t what ended up happening. For one, apparently Menace, as Janus had mentally dubbed him, was better at getting away than he thought. Janus wouldn’t put it past the hero’s incompetence either though, but it really wasn’t his business as long as the pest was done. Recurring villains, unless they were really powerful, were actually not a common thing where they were. Usually the villain would end up in jail. The hero, despite being annoying and over the top, was powerful, like a more dramatic superman. It was annoying often, say when Janus clearly had it against a villain, or the hero suddenly decided to fight him since his deeds were not always the most legal. Nevertheless, a villain being a child about who they wanted to fight was not common. For one thing, usually it was just the hero who fought the bad guys. Janus didn’t always go out of his way since he didn’t consider himself to be a universal do-gooder or anything like that.

Yet, this ‘Menace’ would show up at different parts of the city, bringing about his usual chaos, and almost actively ignored the hero. It was strange. Janus, begrudgingly, felt he needed to step in. The hero didn’t work well with others, or maybe he was just a nightmare to ‘work’ with.

Janus had barely gotten his costume on in the alleyway when he felt a strong wind pulling him out.

Gosh. That was too close.

Menace was standing in front of him, on the ground this time, with his earthy twister behind him.

“Heyy there, snakey. I’ve been waiting~.”

Janus raised an eyebrow at him, despite it likely being covered by his mask.

“Is that so?”

“Mhmm!” The villain leaned forward on his toes, unnaturally keeping his balance, probably from wind powers or something. Janus couldn’t help but lean back some.

“I was getting bored~.”

“That seems to be your whole ordeal, hm? You get bored. I get tired, yet I’m still here.”

Menace snorted.

“See, this is what I mean. You’re fun to talk to.”

“Yes, because snarky rival banter totally counts as talking.”

“Well, it is for me. “

Remus then spun around in his twister that seemed to stretch away.

“Come and catch me!” His voice rang off.

Janus groaned and started to trudge in that direction, trying to decide what he could summon to assist himself. He hadn’t summoned many large objects of transportation, but maybe he could find something to up his speed.

“You! He-“

“Yeah, I know, sir super hero. He seems to want to play with me, I will have to deal with it.”

The hero paused for a moment. “Is there anything I can do?” He asked hesitantly.

Janus smirked at him. “Not that I can think of. You seem the type to care about protecting the people so” Janus waved his hand, and went back to his task. He didn’t get very far before he was thrust into his next obstacle, a sink hole suddenly sucking him into the ground. Janus quickly summoned a grappling hook and hooked it onto the surface so he was dangling, but no longer falling. There was an echo of Menace’s cackle. Janus sighed as he swung himself up and landed smoothly. He looked around and saw he was in a different part of the city.

“Oo.”

Janus heard little clapping.

“That was a neat trick. I got to see you in many different angles. Very fun for me.”

Janus gave him an unimpressed look, before carefully looking around.

“Where is everybody?”

“Oh, probably deserted. I’m not very quiet.”

He slid up to Janus, on some sort of sliding ground formation.

“I think I’d rather have you all to myself anyways~” He said with a whole body wiggle.

Janus made a face.

“Why do you keep doing that?”

“Hmm?”

Menace suddenly got closer.

Janus took a step back, hand curling for something, but he struggled to wrack his mind of something that he could actually use against the walking natural disasters.

“Th-the comments, to me.”

Janus cursed to himself at the stutter.

‘“Hmmm” Menace tilted his head until there was an unpleasant creak.

“Cause. It’s fun, and I like you.”

Janus paused and stared at him in bewilderment.

“What?”

Menace giggled at that and then suddenly they were against a wall. Janus let out an oof, as his back hit a bit roughly. It didn’t help that the other man was against him.

“Ya know, I gotta say, I’m not the type who’s into pain,” Janus croaked before he could stop himself.

Menace frowned and took a small step back.

“Er, sorry…I got ahead of myself. I didn’t actually hurt you did I?”

Janus narrowed his eyes at the other, a bit

[satoruvt]

the color of you - blue (6)

ITS HERE. I HOPE I DID WELL. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT AKDSHKFJSDH

pairing → keigo takami x reader

word count → 3213

summary → you’re not really dating, so you can’t really be in love with him... right?

song inspo → hell of flying by jeremy zucker, cassette by demian, a lil of bugbear by chloe moriondo

this chapter → y/n comes to conclusions, keigo’s a dork, tension, a fight, crying.

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven

So it’s been… strange.

Or rather, it hasn’t been strange at all, which makes everything even more strange, somehow. You feel like things should be so much different, but they’re not. You reached a wild conclusion that threw you for a fucking loop, made you sit in your kitchen at Angel Cakes and contemplate what the hell you were going to do about anything that would ever occur to you from here on out. Sometimes you almost ask Keigo how things haven’t changed at all, since you’ve decided that you like him, but then you have to stop yourself from saying anything because, oh, right, you haven’t told him.

You don’t plan to, either.

It’d just mess everything up, wouldn’t it? To say “hey, I know we’ve been fake dating for like two and a half months now but I’m kind of liking the idea of really dating you”? Kinda fucked. Not to mention, from a professional stance, what if it ruins your guys’ chemistry when you’re being watched by the entire world? If someone finds out that the whole thing is fake - regardless of your feelings - it means Keigo’s public image and your entire life at the bakery. Everything would go to shit, and after it’s burned down, you doubt you’d even have Keigo.

So you’re not telling him. You’re in love with one of your closest friends, who you are also fake dating, who is also the Number Two hero in the country, and you’re not telling him how you feel. Yes. Okay.

You’ve had a lot of time to reflect about your own feelings, because after Keigo left to fight that villain the other day (and after you managed to get off the ground and clean up) you were sure it was a heat-of-the-moment thing. Yeah, he looked pretty, and there was something dreamy and domestic about laughing and throwing baking ingredients at each other, so maybe your heart just got confused. 

But you’d called him to ask if he was okay (instead of a usual text) and he’d picked up the phone and laughed and your heart had not done that before. Not with Keigo, not on the phone, and not like that. And usually his pet names amused you, but he’d called you “sweetheart” over the phone and his voice was tired and drawled a bit. It made you dizzy. You said goodbye pretty soon after that.

You’re barely walking up the stairs of your apartment complex when your phone buzzes in your pocket. Butterflies (and moths, a few) erupt in your stomach when you read the name, and then immediately die when you read the text itself.

keigo baby 🐦

Do u want to have a playdate with me 👉👈 I could come over if ur mom says its okay

Why him? You think to yourself, swallowing the vomit in your throat and fishing your keys out of your bag to unlock your door. You text back when you get inside, throwing your belongings on the nearest surface.

y/n

don’t ever talk to me again

keigo baby 🐦

Is that a yes??

y/n

….fine, but if u ever use those emojis again i’ll break up with u. legally 

keigo baby 🐦

baby no!!!!

You throw your phone down onto your sofa before flopping over it, letting yourself sink into the cushions for a moment. It takes no more than ten minutes for Keigo to be at your door, letting himself in without so much as a knock. You know that it’s technically your doing, since you didn’t lock it when you came in, but you still whine at him about it, and he mocks you jokingly.

It seems he either senses your tiredness or didn’t have anything in mind to do anyways, because all Keigo does is lift your legs up from where they’re sprawled out on the couch and sits down in their place, letting them flop back onto his lap. He adjusts so his wings aren’t smashed against the back of the couch (or, at least, not as much). You move your feet off of his lap.

You’ve come to really appreciate days like this, where you simply bask in his company and he does yours. As much as Keigo is nonchalant about his lifestyle, you know it’s exhausting for him to do what he does every single day, and then to have to talk to people (fans, reporters, anyone). He doesn’t need to say anything for you to know. And, well, if you can give him a moment of comfort -

God, no, stop thinking like that. You can’t afford to think like that right now. 

The two of you talk, occasionally sharing posts from social media and laughing at dumb little cat videos (there was one that was five whole minutes of one of the guys from that k-pop band being compared to cat pictures and it’s the most wholesome thing you’ve ever seen to date). Before you know it, it’s been a few hours, the sun just fully covered by the distant mountains. The sky cools down in purple and blue hues, dressing up for the night to come. You and Keigo are laughing over old vines, and in your mind you think that it really couldn’t be that bad for this to be every night instead of just… some nights.

At the end of the compilation Keigo groans out a lingering laugh, stretching his legs out as best he can without hitting your coffee table. You stand up, feeling the need to move around as well, and walk towards your kitchen for a drink. Keigo stands after you but doesn’t move, letting his wings flex and stretch from being contained for so long. You get a glass of water, lift it to your lips just as Keigo lifts his arms above his head and holy fucking shit, his stomach -

Tummy! the tiny voice in your head squeals, but the hornier one screams at the top of its lungs ABS and honestly you don’t know what the fuck to do and neither does your body so you choke on your water. Keigo startles, eyes wide, and with a mumbled “holy shit” makes his way over to you as you cough and sputter over your sink.

It takes a minute, but you eventually come back, eyes watery and face red for multiple reasons. You take a deep breath and Keigo rubs your back, eyeing you, which only makes the entire situation worse.

“Jesus, are you okay?” He asks, and you nod, but you can’t look at him.

“Yeah, uh,” you clear your throat, blinking a few times. “Just… went down the wrong pipe, I guess.”

Fuck.

-

You barely recover from seeing a sliver of Keigo’s stomach, and the memory haunts you for days. You attempt at willing it out of your brain, try to tell yourself that you just didn’t see it at all, but your heart is strong as hell and refuses to let your head forget it. You think about it multiple times a day. You think about it for at least twenty minutes each time. You think about it until Keigo texts you a little less than a week after it happened.

Your phone buzzes on the counter in the kitchen and you finish up your bread dough, putting it into a bowl gently and setting a timer to let it prove. Once your hands are effectively clean, you open the message, letting yourself scoff.

keigo baby 🐦

Just finished a photoshoot, could really use a donut right now :/

Attached to his message is a picture of himself, and honestly, he looks really fucking good. It takes pretty much everything in you not to collapse and die. God.

You look up a picture of a donut on Google - they sold out today, and you are not going to make one just for Keigo - and send it to him. For my hardworking fake boyfriend, you send with it. Mostly to emphasize fake for both of you. Yourself especially.

keigo baby 🐦

Fake??? :( sweetheart, u hurt me

Your mind stops working when you read his text, so you leave him on read.

-

The next time you see Keigo in person is when you’re contemplating whether or not you should keep… hanging out with him.

The contract only has a little over a month left, so it’s not as if it’d be that hard to deal with… besides, it’d be easier on the both of you when this whole thing inevitably ends. You don’t see yourself being able to be around him without thinking about kissing him over and over. Not now, at least. You hope it changes. You hope it’s a weird phase or something. 

Keigo texts you and invites - demands - you over (his excuse is that with the hero conference coming up soon many of the smaller heroes are taking care of villains and giving him more time off) and honestly, if you’re really gonna try to stop talking to him as much, this could be your goodbye or whatever. Also, he mentioned wine, and you need to get drunk. Like, “give me an entire bottle so I can cope with the idea of falling for you because I know that you don’t feel the same and I am simply trying to ride out the rest of this “relationship” so I don’t ruin our dynamic and chemistry while we’re being watched by literally the entire world” drunk.

Yeah. It’s been a rough few weeks.

Every time you go to Keigo’s apartment it reminds you of just how broke you are, but you suppose the apartment itself is fitting. It’s definitely modern, but it holds the clutter of Keigo’s personality - blankets strung everywhere, LED lights, a poster of Endeavor hung up in his closet (but you’re sworn to secrecy about that, you pinky promised). When you knock on his door he doesn’t answer, and it’s a good minute and a half before you get a text that says “it’s open, come in” and you sigh, because again, why him?

He’s sitting on the couch, and when he sees you he smiles like he didn’t just refuse to open the door because he’s too lazy. “Well, if it isn’t the love of my life,” he says, and for a second you can fool yourself into believing it’s genuine.

“I’m just here for the wine, dude,” you tease, and he mocks offense at your words.

“Ouch. Mid-relationship rejection.”

Nonetheless, Keigo gets the wine himself (selective little shit) and two glasses, pours each of you one. It isn’t long before you’ve had at least three glasses but no more than five, and you’re maybe, perhaps, a little drunk. 

Keigo is, too, so you’re not really alone, but he’s talking about something Endeavor did like he’s the greatest hero in the world. It makes you smile, just a bit, but then again, you’re usually sentimental when you’re drunk, so maybe it’s just that. Or maybe it’s because you like him. It doesn’t really matter now.

“Hey, Kei,” you murmur when he’s done with his story. He hums, takes another sip out of his glass. “What happens when this is over?”

You look at your feet, scrunching up your toes inside your socks so you have something to look at. Then your eyes move up more, to the top of his coffee table, and then finally they land on him, and he looks gorgeous. He always does.

Keigo blinks once, twice, then shrugs, goes back to his wine. “Dunno. I hope we’re still friends, though,” he says.

“Friends? You want to be friends?”

You’re drunk. You should go to sleep, or go home, or something. Talking is not something you should be doing.

“What?” Keigo asks, but more like he didn’t hear you rather than he didn’t understand, so you take your chance, even through your hazed mind.

“Nothing,” you say, swirling the wine in your glass. “Forget about it.”

And it seems like he does, because when you wake up on his couch the next morning with a killer headache and he stumbles out of his room with a groan he doesn’t mention anything about it even when he talks about everything else.

-

Keigo texts you a few days later, a picture of him posing with another wine bottle. 

keigo baby 🐦

round 2??

The picture is cute. He’s smiling, all lips and curves and blonde hair and tan skin. He’s dressed in sweats, you can see, but he still looks like a model. It makes your heart sink and fly at the same time.

y/n

can’t, sorry. have to stay late at angel cakes. i’ll see u at the hero conference tho

He doesn’t text you for a while after that.

-

The conference comes quick, and before you know it you’re in another hotel suite, getting makeup done. It doesn’t take as much dressing up - your dress is shorter this time, less formal, your makeup less extravagant. You don’t feel nervous, not like last time, but you don’t necessarily feel comfortable either. Your makeup artist is different this time.

It takes a considerably less amount of time for you to get ready, and you stare at yourself in the mirror before it’s time to go. Your dress is beautiful - blue, royal, deep and light at the same time and gorgeous. Simple, too, nothing too out there. When you step out of the hotel room you notice Keigo’s still in his hero costume, but you suppose he has to be. You don’t match with him like you did last time.

There’s no banter, no teasing, no compliments. The ride to the venue is quiet. Keigo sends you a look at one point - a “tell me what’s wrong” look - but you only shrug, offer him the best smile you can, which apparently isn’t convincing, because he frowns when he sees it. You wish he wouldn’t frown so much.

The conference is short, but maybe you’re just distracted. An usher walks you to your seat at a VIP table and it seems like you sit down and then it ends. You clap for Keigo, smile like you’re endlessly proud of him - and you are, even if it doesn’t show that well tonight - and watch him make a scene becuase that’s what he does. He winks at you at one point during the night, while he’s talking into the microphone, and you know it’s for the publicity. The conference ends significantly earlier than the awards show, however, so you don’t have to stay in the suite for the night. 

The ride back to the suite seems shorter than the ride to the venue and it takes you maybe twenty minutes to wipe the makeup off of your face and take off your dress. You walk across the hall to Keigo’s room, knock on the door. He answers.

“Okay, I’m gonna head out, I’m feelin’ kinda tired,” you tell him with a small smile. “Just wanted to say bye.”

“Let me walk you home,” he says instead, and your brain yells at you no!

“No, it’s fine, Kei -”

“Please. I want to.”

He’s never said that before, and a part of you knows you wouldn’t be able to say no to him even if he hadn’t, so you nod and let him follow you out of the hotel and to your apartment. The walk is silent and it makes you feel uneasy but you can’t really do anything about it, not with what you’re trying to do, so nothing happens until you reach your apartment.

You know where this is going, even if you don’t want to, so you take a deep breath, hold the door open for him so Keigo can come inside. He looks at you weirdly for a moment but then enters your apartment, standing in the junction of your entryway and living room like he’s uncomfortable. You let him, then walk to the kitchen for something to drink.

“What’s wrong with you?” You ask, eyeing him suspiciously.

Keigo scoffs. “Shouldn’t that be my line?”

You know he noticed - it’s impossible not to, but you didn’t think… you didn’t think he’d call you out on it. Your pause is evident, but you pretend like it didn’t happen at all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say.

“Yeah? Wanna rethink that, sweetheart?”

The almost-malice in his tone when he says your usual pet name startles you, and when you look up at Keigo it seems like it startled him, too, doe-eyed and looking at you. You shake your head, walking out of the kitchen and into the living room behind him to throw your things down, try to pass the message to him that this is not good. “You’re wrong,” you say.

“I’m not - I’m not wrong, Y/N,” he says, turning around to look at you. “Every time I see you it seems like you’re pushing me away, like you’re not here, and I don’t know if I did something, but I -” he pauses, runs a gloved hand over his face and you want to tell him that it’s not his fault, but that would lead to you telling him everything, and you can’t. “I miss you.”

His voice is broken. When you speak again, your voice sounds like his, but somehow worse. Smaller. “You’re wrong,” you insist. You know he’s not.

“I’m not,” he pushes back. “I’d like to think that in the months we’ve been -”

He stops himself, and you take your opportunity. “That we’ve been what? Dating? We’re not dating, Keigo, we both signed a fucking contract to benefit your public image! This is nothing!”

You have no idea what you’re doing. It’s not nothing. It will never be nothing.

“You think this is nothing?”

“Look me in the eye and tell me that you know for sure we’ll still be friends when this is over.”

He can’t, and he won’t. You’re trying really hard not to cry, but it hurts to fight with him like this, and it hurts that you think you’re falling in love with him, and it hurts that if you tell him it’ll ruin everything and it hurts, so a few tears slip out anyways.

“Y/N,” Keigo says, and his voice is so soft. You want to melt into him, but you shy away when he reaches for you. “Please just tell me -”

“I can’t do this anymore,” you choke out. “I can’t - I’m - I’m calling it. I’ll send my lawyer if you need anything but I just…”

You can’t even look at him. Has he always been so far away?

“Get out, Keigo.”

It sounds so cold, so unfamiliar, coming from your mouth and you half expect another person to have said it entirely. This isn’t you, this isn’t how you and Keigo act, this isn’t… this isn’t it. There’s a pause, like he’s waiting for something, but then you hear him sigh - practically feel him deflate, and then he walks out of your apartment, door shutting quietly behind him.

It’s so quiet when he’s gone.

You take a deep breath, walk back to your bedroom, curl into yourself on the bed, and cry in the blue light of the sky left behind by the sun.

[shesawriter39049]

|7 DEEP| M| MASTERLIST|

SMUT/ANGST/FLUFF/POLY AU 

AU SUMMARY- Your husband Namjoon and yourself run a successful Adult Film Entertainment Company called “Onyx” with your 5 best friends from college who you also happen to be in an open relationship with! This is a candid in-depth look at the rollercoaster ride that is your life!

ALSO LOWKEY A RAGS TO RICHES STORY.....

Namjoon, Yoongi, Jin, Tae, Hoseok, and Jimin, all already work with the OC and Joon, Kookie comes in later one as a new hire...and the possible final piece…

DISCLAIMER: Obv this is a poly so the boys are Bi..but outside of kissing and dirty talk I have not YET ventured into physical MXM….

NOTE- As long as this keeps getting support the initial plan is 7 one-shots, one for each boys. Everyone installment will have smut as well as a overall storyline, one that not only ties into your job, but also the OC’s (AKA YOU) special dynamic with each individual member. The last one-shot (7th) will be the first and maybe only one where smut wise it’s all 7 of them, it will finally address how they all came together, and will be partially a flashback sequence. HOWEVER, there will be bits and pieces of the “Characters” lives and what not sprinkled within the “drabbles” too...so those will also be worth reading especially, as the story developes....or at least reading the summaries! 

Kookie will make appearances throughout, however, he is NOT as involved off rip as the other boys…

ONE-SHOTS SO FAR :

AFTER-HOURS- NAMJOON X OC (Tae comes in at the end) - 

ABOUT- Your husband and business partner find you up way past acceptable work hours for the 3rd night in a row! So, daddy has to step in and remind you that’s not something we do in this household. You come before work, in every sense of the phrase!

OR-You're in desperate need of a 2nd videographer/editor, because Yoongi’s in over his fucking head! So here you are, up at 1 AM scrolling through resumes because your that boss that hates to overwork her employees so she overworks herself!

AKA- “MEET THE KIMS” 

PRETTY PLEASE- TAEHYUNG X OC - ( Joon comes in at the end)

About- Tae fucks you on top of your receptionist's desk before you fire her…

Or- Tae’s feeling a little needy...and somewhat high-key self continuous about you possibly hiring a new production assistant...AKA...Jungkook. It seems as though Mr. Kim takes pride in being the youngest within the office! It seems as though your baby boy just needs a little..reassurance…

JIN & CHOCOLATE- JIN X OC (FT A lil Seok at the end ) - 

(5K SMUT WITH A SIDE OF PLOT! NOT JIN’S INTRO CHAPTER) 

About-You suck Jin off…and brownie batter may or may not be somewhat involved because why the fuck not. Oh, Hoseok comes over to drop off weed…and welll….doesn't exactly leave

Or- His assistants birthday is tomorrow and she’s insisted on him making his infamous “Dizzy Brownies” AKA…pot brownies and Jin being the perfectionist he is, scrapes the first batch. You however, think they’re fine and if he’s not gonna bake with said  batter you’ll find use for some of it…..Then Hosoek stops by to bring the missing ingredient…weed and his dick…

TOUCH ME , TEASE ME- NAMJOON X OC 

(5K, IN COLORATION TO THE EVENTS THAT WILL TAKE PLACE IN “GOT ME LOOSIN’ ALL MY COOL)

About- Namjoon eats you out the minute you walk in the door because well…that’s the kinda husband he is!

Or- Jimin text’s Namjoon to brace him for the mood you’ll more than likely be in after a day full of drama and finally firing the front desk receptionist! Which essentially red for him to make you come hard AF and then feed you….OH, and You guys invite Yoongi over to talk about the Tae and Kookie “Thing”

PRIVATE SHOW- TAE X OC (NEW) 

(5k, Holiday esque one-shot however for the 1st time it does dive into the downside of being in a poly relationship that’s essentially a secret in the publics eye) 

About-Just a casual lunch outing where Tae’s trying to do his job and your trying to get him off under the table with your shoe...nothing new!

OR- Tae and yourself are grabbing lunch at 71 Above, after checking out the last couple of venues for the company's end of the year Holiday party. While at said restaurant, it becomes a humbling reminder that the most important people in your life are essentially a secret...cute!

 UP AND COMING: In no particular order! 

MUTED- YOONGI X OC (SIDE JIN)- HIATUS

Note, this is more of a smut drabble though it will be around 3k...this is NOT Yoongi/Jin’s official “Introduction” if that makes sense….(SNEAK PEEK IS LINKED) 

About-Yoongi goes down on you in the back seat while you’re on a business call….Jin’s driving, lowkey watching..and being a little shit the entire time…

Or- You’re on the phone with a dick of an investor and a second away from losing your shit and calling off the entire deal…however…your boys decide to “distract” you. Give you a little something to keep you at ease so you don’t blow this 6 figure account…

MAKE ME PROUD- JIMIN X OC (ALL THE MEMBERS ARE IN THIS BRIEFLY)

About-  Jimin and yourself take a trip to get a sneak peek at “Filter” before it opens… and Jimin fucks you on top of the bartop…

Or- Jimin’s ready to make his first solo big boy investment….AKA...opening up his own Gay club in WeHo...and the new business venture also reopen’s old wounds about his past. Both good and bad..but at the end of the day he remembers he wouldn’t the version of himself that he’s oh so proud of...without a little someone named “Y/N” 

 “PARTY FAVORS”- YOONGI X OC- 

About- You and Yoongi get a little one on one time while in Amsterdam, IE getting completely stoned, and attending a sex show..hell maybe even joining in on a sex show...shit just get’s wild in the Dam!

OR- You and your boys jet out to Amsterdam for the weekend to celebrate 16 AVN award nominations (AKA THE TONY’S/GRAMMY’S OF PORN) and while high and in a country where nobody knows who you are...(which means Yoongi and yourself are free to do as you please even in public)....Yoongi admits for the first time that sometimes he feels a type of way that HE wasn’t the one that married you considering the two of you were a thing FIRST....

“CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS” - JIN X OC (Side Namjoon)- NEW 

About- Jin says he's coming over to discuss business over brunch, champagne, and a nice Jacuzzi bath…which, of course, leads to more than just talk about “Finances and portfolio expansions” 

OR: Jin’s the eldest, he loves control, he needs control, hints why he’s the finical controller..always has been...even in the domestic sense. Jin’s also shit at feelings he’s used to being the shoulder to cry on not needing the shoulder..he’s not used to feeling vulnerable...so it’s not to easiest for him to admit that he misses being the one you all come home too...misses being “needed”! He’s used to being the one that has his shit together, being the glue that’s held you lot together during your worst times..so this...is completely out of his comfort zone!

“ALL EYES ON ME”  - HOSEOK X OC (FT OT7)-  NEW 

About- Hoseok and yourself have sex in a very questionable place while at the launch party for ‘Spectrum” I.E. your newest business venture...sex toys…your man deserves a little…”Thank you” for all the work he’s put in...including planning this party!

OR- Hoseok’s in over his fuckin head, he’s the one essentially spearheading the launch of “Spectrum” which is obviously his job as the head of Marketing, tactical ETC, however, this is just..different...he’s literally the one steering the boat. He’s good at what he does he knows this, he’s fucking made for it...but...it;s still’ bringing out some old, nasty insecurities...reminding him how he's his own worst critic...a perfectionist to the fault. Reminding them of those days where he never thought he was good enough...and it would absolutely break him if he lets you lot down! 

“GOT ME LOOSIN’ ALL MY COOL) -KOOK X READER | JIMIN X READER (SMUT) FT- YOONGI & TAE

About- Jimin and yourself take Jungkook shopping for a new suit to wear to the “Spectrum” launch party! OH, and Jimin fucks you in the backseat of your truck in the parking garage of the mall…..

OR: You know Kookie still in that “Broke college grad” phase only being with the company barley a month, and you don’t want him to feel self-conscious at the event! You’ve also been too busy to really check in with him to see how he’s adjusting! So, you thought something like this, in a more laxed atmosphere, would be a good solution! Oh and Jimin, honestly he’s just nosey as fuck and inched himself along, like nobody really invited him he invited his damn self! Also Jungook can’t underatand why the fuck your all so damn attractive...like...why!?

AKA-MEET JUNGKOOK JEON

SNEAK PEEK 

***

THE “FINAL” ONE-SHOT,  IS NOT FULLY OUTLINED YET

******

FINAL NOTE-

This series is open to request...for one-shot/ member scenarios/drabbles.

The initial 7 one-shots are done to get the dynamic and I guess you could say “Plot” set in stone...however, once that’s done and in-between I’m open to random scenarios as long as it somewhat coincides with the “Universe”

This is a story that follows normal day to day life in a sense....they just happen to live a very exciting one!

Anything from them going grocery shopping and making dinner...all the way to the OC and one of the boys fooling around on set...as long as it fits the vibe. I’m down!

   *** To clarify as well...publicly ( And in the workplace) the world just knows your married to Namjoon....the whole poly situation is not something blasted on your Wiki...at least not yet....***

(Optional)

***POSTIONS’S WITHIN THE COMPANY*** 

(Obv things are spread out now and they have other employees but they all STILL oversee multiple jobs...It’s a habit now. For so many years they couldn’t afford the help! So, now that they can they’ve just become a little...protective of said job duties..) 

Y/n Kim(26)- CEO/Founder/HR/Storyboard/Content  creator/Directory/Scriptwriter/Talent scout/ALL OF THE ABOVE (Set design, DVD author, 2nd Location manager, etc)   

Namjoon Kim (26)- CEO/ Founder/ Director/ Content analyst/ Lead scriptwriter/ Sr Production manger/ ALL OF THE ABOVE (IT, web design, outreach, etc)

Yoongi Min (27)- Head digital producer/ Program/site Planner/Production manager/Sound engineer/Production scheduler

Taehyung Kim (24)-Executive Assistant/ Content admin/ location manager/Wardrobe assistant/backup talent scout & health liaison

Seokjin Kim (28)- Senior Accountant/ Sales manager/ Financial controller/Logistics/Operations

Jimin Park (25)- Head talent scout/ Model Liaison/ Wardrobe/ Hair & Makeup coordinator/ Onset assistant/Health Liaison

Hoseok Jung (26)- Social media/ Streaming manager/Tactical marketer/ Advertising/event manager/PR

NOW HIRING: FOR A VIDEO EDITOR/IMAGE PROCESSOR/SOUND EDITOR/SECONDARY PHOTOGRAPHER AKA-

 “PRODUCTION COORDINATOR“

....WELCOME TO ONYX!

[courtorderedcake]

Majestically Too Far Beyond, CSSNS 2020

Emma Swan is a Witch who has made (And apparently makes) bad decisions. Helping a desperate Witch out of a weird situation doesn't seem like a bad decision, even against her, runes, a tarot reading and her friend's Snow druid intuition - until it is and the consequences are very real.

Killian is a Demon with a long history of persecution against him, and his denizens are not much better off. His Angelic brother is on a mission to rehab Demonic image to prevent violence on the streets of Hyperion Heights, as some sort of Holy mission deeply rooted in millenia of guilt. Witches and Warlocks use them for parts, Werewolves see them as a threat, Angels mostly still hold on to the ancient feud regardless of their treatise, Fae stay chaotic neutral, Vampires don't care for others affairs - it's a perilous world where hate crimes happen without consequence. After a disastrous meeting, he attempts to drown his frustration with a trip to the bottom of a bottle, but ends up falling in bed with a mysterious Witch in her tower home. Soon he's missing a hand, has only the vaguest idea of what happened from the mess of blood he's woken up to, and a mirror shows that some strange, different, Witch is pregnant with his child.

RATED M for Mature Themes. Written for @cssns​ 2020 Beta’d by The best team ever ( @jarienn972​  @ultraluckycatnd​  @donteattheappleshook​) and Art by @kmomof4​

Read on Ao3 HERE. 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

Chapter 4 - For with you, earth is heaven too

"Thank the bloody stars, Liam is it really you?" 

"Killian," Liam breathed a large sigh of relief. "Yes, are you - what the bloody hell happened to you? Your hand!" 

"But a flesh wound, more importantly can you free me from this wretched tower? This mad Witch trapped me here and I need to - " He caught sight of Emma, who froze, pressing herself against the wall. "It's you."

Emma swallowed hard, Killian pulling away from his brother to stare at her with those unearthly eyes. The feeling of being dropped from a great height overcame her, knees almost buckling at the sensation of floating that eased into a strange thrum in her bones. It was an immediate revelation, her lips parting as his clawed hands balled into fists.

It was him. His name was Killian. Her heartbeat was louder in her ears, and she could somehow feel his shock as if a ripple moved in a small pond. 

"How did you -" Killian tried to ask, but Liam pushed him back, standing between Emma and Killian as Emma backed away further. 

"Is this Witch involved in the plot on your life, little brother?" Liam growled. "If she is, say the word. I had her locked away, and I'm itching to do it again, if not just to prove to my ex that I was right. She refused to listen to me about my suspicions on her delinquent friend, and now she's being frigid. She broke off things, but - "

"You and Elsa were dating?" Emma yelled, snapping out of her trance. "For fucks sake, do you know how much you probably hurt her with your bullshit? How dare you call her frigid!"

"You won't guilt me for this, Witch. I know you had something to do with this."

"Brother," Killian said, his voice trembling. Emma was suddenly full of dread, wishing to simply go home, never to think about the two ever again. "She isn't the, er, the one who -"

"Say no more. I'll have her arrested, and this time you better not even imagine getting out of that cell you -" 

"No," Killian interrupted, laying his hand on Liam's shoulder. His whisper became louder, hesitation falling away from his voice. "No. No, Emma didn't do anything." 

"It seems very clear that she did do something," Liam grunted, pointing at her. Killian looked annoyed, trying to interject through Liam's blustering. 

"She's pregnant, yes, but -" 

"And this child - It's yours?" Liam interrupted, his irritation rising. 

"Liam, could you bloody well shut up for one moment - Look, it's easier to just - let me show you. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, show me Gothel the day she removed my hand." 

Emma was immediately greeted by an enthusiastic Killian and Gothel making out as they stumbled through the same walls that she was surrounded by. Her cheeks flamed as Liam sputtered, and to her surprise the Demon's ears pinked with embarrassment. 

"Sorry, sorry," he hissed out over the sound of their groaning. "Mirror, after this, please."

The mirror showed a naked Eloise from behind seated on Killian's waist as she rocked, loud moaning echoing, causing everyone in the tower to utter a different expletive. 

"No, you bloody piece of glass, after. After all of that!" Killian gritted out with his face stained red, the mirror phasing into a dim view of Killian's sprawled form on the bed. 

Eloise approached, magic rolling off of her in thick mauve smoke, a dagger raised in her hand. The cut was inhumanly fast, Killian waking groggily with surprise to look at his missing hand with confusion, the dark blood dripping from the stump making Emma feel dizzy with returning nausea.

Eloise held the hand in triumph, using a finger to draw a symbol on her belly as light began to emanate just below her navel. Killian was standing now, sheets clutched to him, looking at her with rage as he held his wrist and yelled, but the noise was growing around him as if a tornado bore down with its wind. He was quickly drowned out while wind began to swirl around Gothel, her hair whipping around her face. 

Ripping a bedsheet that lay over a cauldron aside, she tossed in Killian's hand with a giggle. An explosion of blinding light burst forth, and she was gone, leaving a bewildered, bloodied Killian alone in the dark. 

Liam cleared his throat, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"Well, what does any of that mean in regards to -" 

In the darkness, the mirror suddenly lit, shining a gentle glow over the room. Killian walked towards it dazed, squinting at what displayed on the glass. 

Emma could hear her cries of pain, and knew at once what he was seeing. She stepped forwards, watching both brothers with clear wariness. 

"Show them what you showed me," Killian commanded. 

Emma appeared on the glass, her body contorted and stomach swelling, agony written on her face as David attempted to break down her door. 

"I'm so sorry, lass. I don't know how, or why -" Killian began, before Liam interjected. 

"Don't apologize to her. She's the one who did this to you; she made a deal with that woman, and now look." He gestured, and Emma looked down at her feet in shame. "This is just another reason to hate Witches, another proof of their disregard -" 

"Enough!" Killian growled, his eyes flashing. "I know what she did."

"Why didn't you leave? You just watched me go through this, knowing -" Emma asked quietly, her voice breaking. 

"I wanted to leave. Do you think I enjoy this luxury resort? I can't, she transferred some curse on to me." 

"Don't entertain her, little brother. This is proof, and all I need. I hope you enjoy your second trip to prison, Ms. Swan," Liam smirked. 

Killian blocked him from his approach as Emma scrambled backward. 

"I'm not pressing charges on her. Drop it, Liam. Haven't you harassed her enough?" Killian whispered. 

"Can we, um, have a moment alone?" Emma mumbled, her sideways glance catching how Liam bristled, his wing feathers puffed in agitation. "I need -" 

"That's a grand idea, actually." Killian cocked his head slightly, glaring at Liam. "Give us a moment or two, I promise that I can handle myself without you here for a moment."

Liam crossed his arms, his glare meeting Killian's so forcefully Emma would swear there was an electrical current in the air. Finally, he nodded. 

"I'll be literally perched outside, so don't get any ideas about escaping Ms. Swan." Emma nodded, looking away when Liam's gaze tore from Killian to land on her. "And don't forget: I know what your power is. Using it here just gives me more incentive to find you." 

Emma's eyes widened in shock as her head snapped up, just in time to see Liam smirk as he flapped once, disappearing out the window. 

Awkward silence fell between Killian and Emma, left alone as papers stirred in the gust. 

"Are you really not going to press charges?" Emma asked, after a long moment. Killian surveyed her carefully, her nervous fidgeting as she bit her lip and refusal to meet his eyes easing his own nerves. 

"I won't be, lass. Aye. You have my word on it." She looked up, relief flooding her face. When their eyes met, Emma felt a jolt of warmth travel up her spine, her body relaxing of its own accord. 

"And I can trust your word?" she asked, suspiciously. Killian's eyebrow raised, his lips turning upward into a mockery of a smile. "I didn't mean -" 

"Oh, no Swan." He took a breath, laughing darkly while his only hand carded through his hair. "I can guess your exact meaning." 

Pointing a finger to his horns, Emma scoffed. She pointed a finger outside at where Liam was most likely lurking. 

"I meant that your brother is trying to put me back in jail," She pointed her finger at him, jabbing it as his tail flicked in agitation, "Because you didn't have the decency to find a way to contact me," she hissed, stepping forward further. 

He growled low, his eyes narrowing. "And how was I supposed to bloody well manage that when I have been literally trapped here, eh Swan? I wrote on your mirror, should I have let down my long hair or charmed some carrier pigeons?" 

Liam poked his head back in, looking between them. "I told you she is a stubborn -" 

"For fuck's sake!" Emma threw up her hands in the air. 

"Shut up Liam, and bugger off!" 

Liam sulkily returned outside with a disgruntled noise. 

"So what," Emma asked, hands finding her hips. "You were just going to wait up here as I felt this bond thing, and hope for the best? Did you just not feel them, or is this some sort of Demon courtship I don't know about?" 

"Of course I felt the bindings, I've been watching everything, every day. It's been torture." Killian's voice rose, and he was suddenly stalking toward her as Emma backed up, her hands immediately resting against her stomach defensively. Stopping in his tracks, Killian froze, his nostrils flaring as he took a deep breath and exhaled it. "This choice didn't belong to me, or to you. Eloise worked the system, broke laws with her magic to make this happen… If you had just studied the ritual more or realized how wrong it all was, we wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be confined to a bloody tower unless I'm summoned or wearing a brand -" 

"Listen, buddy, you watched me right?" Emma gritted through her teeth. A cloud of shadow began to form around Killian, her magic crackling in pinpricks of light around her fingers. "I didn't know a bundle of Demon baby was coming my way via express mail, so if you could not blame this all on me, that would be great."

"You expect me not to be angry at you? My child was not - I had different expectations of what their life would be like. I, unlike you, wanted a family and children -" 

"I've always wanted a family, even if that didn't necessarily include kids, don't go after me for that."

"You had the choice!" he yelled, the dark around him deepening. "I have had none. I'm just an observer, caged while you -" 

"Choice? I had the choice? Well, gee, good to know I chose this with full consent. I wanted to be hospitalized by your monster baby that tried to explode out of me the first chance it got. I chose to puke up everything I eat, because it's super fun. I still haven't entirely come to terms with the fact that they won't classify this as a rape, unless I press charges - not on Eloise - but on you. I can't think straight, and people think that I did this all on purpose, because yes, I wanted to go back to jail - " 

"Alright, lass, alright," Killian put his hand out in supplication, Emma realizing that her own hands were shaking and breath was coming into her lungs in ragged rasps. She took a few breaths before collapsing onto a low stool, his face immediately falling to a look of regretful concern. She heard him mutter, her eyes closing as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. When she opened them, Killian stood with an offered glass of water. 

"Thank you." Emma mumbled quietly, taking it from him and swallowing it greedily. He nodded, opening his mouth to say something a few times, then thinking better of it. Finally, he scratched at just behind his ear, clearing his throat. 

"I'm sorry for all of that, it wasn't - it's not what I meant. We both wanted this to go differently. I didn't mean - I apologize." Taking another breath, he stepped closer, kneeling to be on the same eye level as Emma. She watched him warily, but to his surprise did not flinch away from his approach. "I can't imagine what you are going through. I haven't had a chance to really talk about everything or process that this is real, that someone would do this to me. To us." 

"Thank you. It's not exactly been… I'm not… I've been really alone." Emma admitted. Now that they were closer to each other than before, a strange sense of calm seemed to flow over both of them as if a cooling rain had started. "This isn't exactly a common thing, so there's no one to talk to. I know it's my fault, and I know that I… Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm sorry, if it matters." She nodded, and he grimaced. "For my part in whatever this is, and whatever she did to us to bind us, I'm sorry. I wouldn't wish this on anyone."

"If you want… I could brand you. I'll free you, and replace her brand with my own."

"No. No, I think not." He laughed lightly, smiling wryly. Suddenly standing, he pulled away and began to pace the floor in quick strides, not looking at her any longer. Emma felt the loss of his stare acutely, shivering. "I'd rather boil my tongue in piss than be another Witch's play thing, and follow your commands like some puppet. You called my child a monster just a moment ago, which means that to you, that's what I am. Absolutely out of the bloody question." Killian tried to rein in his anger, but she kept looking at him as if she cared after making remarks like that. He had tried to calm her, tried to offer an olive branch, and this was her reaction? 

Emma could feel the sting of the lobbed insult, wincing at his outright derision and dismissal. "You're right. You aren't a monster, and I - I'm sorry. The real monster here is Gothel, or anyone who would do all of this. I wouldn't - I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't do any of this to you. You may not like me and we both hate Eloise, but this child doesn't need to suffer for that. I… I want her to have a good life. No. Her best life, everything I couldn't - didn't have. I love her already despite everything, and I want her to be okay."

He calmed, stopping his rapid pacing. "No commands? No chopping off bits of me? And I get to see her… my child?" His blue eyes narrowed, scrutinizing her. "What's the catch, why would you do that for a Demon?"

"Because. I've spoken to your brother and Milah's ghost. They have nothing but trust in you, even if they admit that you have stumbled."

Killian felt his heart stutter. He had put her to rest so long ago, his anger completely doused in one fell swoop. "Milah? Is she -"

"Worried about you, but for the most part at peace. She's in the vast gardens of the afterlife." Emma watched the Demon physically relax, the panic she had felt from him ebbing away to a deep melancholic ache. To her surprise and utter bewilderment, the urge to hug him popped into her head, which she shook off with confusion. 

"Why did you contact her? Liam said that you were trying to raise this child by yourself. Why bind yourself to a child and an unknown father for a deranged woman in the first place?" Killian asked, not bothering to veil his suspicion. 

"I didn't… I should have realized that Eloise was hiding something." Emma nervously fidgeted again, and Killian watched as her eyes found a spot on the floor to stare sadly at. Her half smile was easy enough to read, as he was discovering were many of her tells.

 He watched her fingers trace the swell that lay beneath her t-shirt in small circles, listening intently while curiosity bested his better instincts. 

"I have a soft spot for people trapped in their situations because I've been there. She used that against me, made me believe that I was some savior. As for a baby, I thought that this would be years away and never like this. I knew that I would never have a family of my own besides my brother, and as an orphan I thought that any parents willing to give up their child like I was given up… I just decided that I would at least be able to give an unwanted child the family I didn't have. I figured that if the binding worked, great. If it didn't, fine."

"And the fact that it's part Demon?" he challenged, watching her face and body language with interest. "A monster as you called it? That didn't factor in at all? Did you decide to find me when you realized it wasn't some perfect mortal?" 

"I should not have said that. I'm actually… she's definitely not a monster." She traced the curve of her belly absentmindedly, sighing softly. All of their anger melted away as a deep exhaustion settled in its place. "It doesn't bother me for that reason. It's been hard because of my body, I don't know if you saw what this is doing to me -" 

"There are times where I felt your privacy was more important than my desperation," Killian stated, blushing slightly. Emma gave him a small smile, surprised to see the tips of his ears go pink. 

"I… I do need help, but not because I'm scared of her or resent having a partially Demon child. I'm scared because of the changes in my body, how crazy I feel, and how alone I am in this. I want her to have the best life they can, and that means guidance from someone who understands better than I do." Something shifted between them, Killian hearing the endearing honesty in her tone. "And you, you've acted a lot more humanely than many of the mortals I've met even in the brief moments I have spent around you. It's obvious that you would love your child - this child, and I do - I mean, I care about her, and I want her to have two parents - "

Killian blinked, sure he had misheard, his breath catching in his throat. "Two parents? As in - "

"You and I, yes. I can't do this alone, and your brother is already trying to draw up paperwork for me to give her up for adoption. He put me in jail, and I don't think he really believes that I didn't… Look, if you want out, I understand, but I am keeping her - I think it's a her. I can't do adoption, especially when it's orchestrated by Liam."

They both glanced at the window, Liam still out of purview. "Ah. Yes. My brother is…"

"He's a fucking asshat. The king of the dickheads." Emma smiled, Killian letting out a bellow of genuine laughter. 

"That sums it up. And then Demonic infancy... The pregnancy alone without support - I suppose this could work," Killian mused. He grinned, her smile widening. Warmth poured through the bond, and he watched her form ease into comfort, body loosening fractionally. "You have been more of a mum than Eloise by far, I guess that's fair. "

"I want nothing but the best for my child. This world is not going to be kind. It's going to try and shortchange every aspect of her existence. At least having two parents that love her -" 

"You believe a Demon is capable of love, darling? How progressive." The edge of his tone was back, both of them snapping on their armor with well tuned practice. 

Her eyes shot up to search his, in a challenge. "I don't believe. I know it's true, don't act like I'm an idiot." 

"Just who are you, Swan?" 

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Perhaps I would." Killian said quietly. After a moment, he took in a breath and licked his lips. "Very well. I'll wear your brand, Swan. I'll find a place to stay closer to your abode and -" 

"Stay at my place. I'll make you a set of doors, and it should lessen the need for a full power brand. I think using that much magic might be tricky for me right now anyway, I get tired quickly." He nodded, sympathy leaking into her mind. It felt weird, their feelings intermingling, but not wrong. She could somehow taste it, and knew it was a grayish blue. "You can add a door to somewhere else eventually, but for now I'll put one here to lessen the blood magic that traps you. It'll go to my spare room. You can use whatever suits you best once you find a place. I won't mind, and it's safer for you than the city." 

"You'd trust me alone there, on the farm? And alone in your home?" 

"Snow will say you are a strange omen, but not in the way that makes the flowers shrivel or some other cryptic statement that is Druid for, ‘you're alright’. And then there's what your brother's pamphlets said… I would just feel better if you were nearby, if you don't mind." He nodded, and she released a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. Tension fell from her shoulders as she stepped forward, reaching out to touch him but stopping short when he flinched back. "Where do you want my brand? It's a bit large." 

Muscles rippled under his skin, and she could see where old lines of Witch brands had burned there. 

He had been a slave many times, and many of the brands were old, none quite as faded as the largest one on his shoulder. Almost completely gone, it was ornate and delicate from what was left visible; the shape of a heart and a name. Milah. Emma swallowed hard.

Gothel's wasn't there, she noted. 

The Demon's eyes were dark, black as raven feathers but for the blue flame that licked underneath long lashes. A small silver scar rested on one cheek, shimmering slightly with icy light. His body moved as if it was made of smoke, the main parts of his form solid that trailed away as if he was dissolving into stardust. Swirls of celestial light moved under the many brands, constellations spiraling as she watched. A nebula drifted lower, disappearing halfway under the waistband of his leather trousers, and Emma briefly felt heat color her face. 

Whatever lay below was foreign to her, and based on the guidebook given to her, varied vastly from Demon to Demon. As far as she knew, he could have another arm. 

"Like what you see, love?" Killian whispered lowly, and Emma shook off her thoughts on his beauty and possible anatomy. 

Emma rolled her eyes, and placed her hand to rest on the left side of his torso, just below his sternum. The touch made both of them hiss in pleasure, the gold of her brand a bright metallic color against the light blues of his skin.

"Now," Emma smiled, looking up at Killian's attempts to blink away his half lidded gaze. "If we hurry, I can add these doors and we can leave before your brother makes it back. If you're so inclined that is."

"Why Swan," Killian practically purred, "I must say that is the best idea you've had all evening."

ﾟ・.  ｡・. *✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ*⛧*.・｡*ﾟ.★.・.・✫*.・。.・゜

The first door from the house to the tower took what felt like ages to make, and its toll on Emma's magic was as if she'd been run over by a herd of unicorns. She wobbled through it into her kitchen, immediately opening a can of Red Minos. The magic restoring liquid felt smooth against her tongue, its race to replenish her magic buzzing under her skin. 

The buzzing was met with a strange undercurrent of annoyance with sudden force, and she turned to see Killian glowering at her. 

"You really shouldn't drink that in your condition. All of those magical replenishing energy drinks are terrible for you." He eyed her worriedly, and Emma sighed.

"I don't normally drink them, but I need to make extra space -" 

"It can wait for a day. I can wait for a day. I'll sleep on the floor somewhere or in the tower." He shrugged and took a step forward, standing next to her to watch her fidget nervously with the can. "It's not worth your health, or the little one. Especially given that I've only seen you eat a pop tart and a candy bar for meals today."

Emma felt her fist clench around the can, the aluminum crackling as it crushed. 

"So, the ghost I felt, that was you keeping tabs on me?" 

Killian blushed, the pink of his cheeks startling on his pale blue skin. "When you say it like that Swan, it sounds worse than it is - I was merely trying to get in contact with you and see who was carrying -" 

"Fine then. I'll just fix you up a spot in the nursery," Emma mumbled, interrupting him before she could get more annoyed. "And I'll just throw this away." With a flick of her wrist, the can dropped neatly into the bin. 

The foreign feeling of concern faded, replaced by guilt at potentially hurting the baby with her bad habits. She knew the basics of no sushi, no drinking - if those even applied. What else didn't she know? 

"Where do you keep your linens then?" Killian’s voice steadied her, and Emma pointed him toward a closet. 

"There isn't much. I'm sorry, but you can sleep in the nursery's glider, I have a few blankets somewhere…" 

"I'll be alright, Swan," he assured her, chuckling lightly. "I tend to stay rather warm." 

Emma rolled her eyes, carrying a pillow into the nursery to drop by the glider. She gestured at the murals on the wall. "This is the nursery -" 

"I know. I've watched every day," he admitted sheepishly, his ears reddening at the tips. "I know your entire schedule."

Emma blinked, then blinked again. "Oh." The surprise in her tone didn't seem to bother the Demon, who chuckled softly. "I'm sorry. This is just so weird."

Killian laughed, but the smile he gave her did not reach his eyes. A stale silence filled the room. Not one to sit on idle hands, they began to work in tandem to set up his sleeping arrangements. Finally he spoke again. 

"I'm sorry for not being here. I'm sorry for everything, truly, especially this all happening. I didn't know, I swear it-" 

Emma swallowed hard. Guilt poured through the bond, swirling itself around to the point of being indeterminable if it was hers or his. 

"It's OK, you couldn't have known," Emma soothed. "You don't need to be sorry. I'm not. I mean, it would have been nice, but… I'm a big girl. I can handle myself, and I always have." 

"I wanted to be here so badly. You shouldn't have been alone in this." 

“Hey - You're here now.” 

“Thank you.” 

“You're welcome.” 

A comfortable silence fell in place as she watched him make his makeshift bed on the glider. It was hard not to stare at him, her eyes kept catching the way his horns caught the light even in the dim; an almost mother of pearl iridescence making them shimmer. 

"Oh, your hand -" Emma realized suddenly, only to have him laugh and shrug it off. 

"It'll grow back. Just needs some time and a good potion or two."

Emma nodded, His skin was also strange and ethereally beautiful: it seemed to be a sky blue, but when she moved closer, it became clear that it was as if glittering stardust, galaxies, and things that she could not begin to describe shifted to turn or crash together. His tail was another oddity that left her lips quirking upward. It swept around him in gentle swoops, and she'd noticed it flicking with agitation when they fought earlier. 

Everything about him charmed her in the most peculiar ways. 

(It's the bond. You are bound to each other, and your child. Don't be an idiot.) 

"I can put on the skin suit - er… the glamor if you want." Killian mumbled so quietly she almost missed it, his back turned to her. His tail moved slower still, reminding her of a nervous cat. He was wary of her. 

(Adorable, how unbearably sweet that he was nervous -) 

"Only if you want." Emma shrugged. She saw his shoulders lose their tension, and heard his light chuckle before he turned to face her. 

Emma blinked. She had gotten closer to him, not noticing her drift towards him. Blushing, she watched his face settle into a sly smirk of knowing in the warm quiet. 

(This house has always been quiet, but never like this. This feels -) 

"So, you… Er, work? I guess I don't know what a 'Prince of Hell' does. Are you kissing babies and cutting ribbons all day?" Emma asked, shaking away the bizarre thoughts that seemed intent to turn her to mush. She needed her walls more than ever. 

"I'm actually quite a big deal in the Below. I'm a large feature in the Below's gossip rags and newspapers, if you'll believe it." Killian swallowed, licking his lips. "I'm sure that this will be quite the scandal I'll have to figure out. I might have to hire a publicist…" He ran a hand through his hair, gently scratching behind his ear in thought. 

"I - is the Below - is it like, democracy or monarchy or...?" 

"Ah. Yes. Of course no one up here really takes the time to learn, but I digress. I'm a Pre-fall Celestial, and I chose a side which ended in my fallen status. We designed, built, and made the laws regarding the Below, and thusly were rewarded Kingdoms or provinces in it. There were twenty or so of us, but it has dwindled down over the years from infighting, outfighting, war, and all the other things in between the two." His chest puffed with pride, the bond prickling with touches of it. 

(Get your walls back up! He's weird Hellion royalty and you're some hussy he found who was magically knocked up! This is not Cinderella - this fairytale is too weird even for the Grimm's.)

"Oh," Emma said flatly, turning and striding into the kitchen. 

Killian followed behind, with a hum of disappointment. "Oh? That's really all you have to say about -" 

She pulled a large gallon of jasmine tea out of the fridge, pouring herself a glass. "That gives me no idea or insight into what you do." 

"I'm - I write, edit, and serve as witness and or notary for all contracts that fall in my province." 

"Meaning…?" Emma gestured with her hand for a breakdown, drinking her tea. 

Killian moved closer, plucking the now empty glass from her hands to wash it in the sink. "Imagine I'm the Captain of several fleets of ships that make up a bigger navy. I make sure everyone that touches my name and status is good." 

"Hell has a navy? 

"The Below has -" He paused, and his eyes narrowed as a smirk spread across his face. "Now you're just being right cheeky to vex me. I can feel it. "

She blushed, biting her lip, their distance shrinking as they both seemed to sway into each other. He turned off the sink, the kitchen suddenly much smaller than he remembered. As if in a dream, Emma's hand found his to steady herself, the touch of her fingers soft. His senses were immediately invaded by her while everything else fell away. Catching her eye, he could see the dreamy sort of contentment that relaxed her features, the calm not brief enough to mistake for anything else. 

It disappeared just as quickly, her brows pinching and lips pressed together in a grim line. She flinched away as if burnt, immediately cradling her stomach with her palms. 

"I'll make a downstairs guest bedroom tomorrow, then. It will need, well, everything. I wasn't expecting many guests, and I can't make anything too fancy. A bed and an ensuite are as much as I can muster currently. Ask before you need anything though, I might be able to squeeze a feature in. I'll help you out to the best of my ability." 

"Aye, Swan."

"I eat dinner with my brother every Tuesday and Thursday night. Otherwise I don't really cook -" 

"I know, you eat those awful sugar encrusted tarts instead. You need vegetables and -"

"So feel free to cook for yourself."

"You have an appointment coming up too, and I was hoping to broach the subject of coming along with you. I just, I have a lot of questions; I am both not ready but also entirely ready for -" 

"Well, it's still going to be a while. A year of this, at least, and I'm already scared. I don't know anything about babies, but even less about Demons. At least your brother will chill out slightly now that you have been located."

"Ah, yes. That reminds me. Do you want to continue working? If you do, I don't mind, but you could work less. I am happy to provide a stipend -" 

"A stipend? You can't bribe me -" 

"I'm not trying to -" He stopped himself, taking a slow breath in exasperation while rubbing his hand across his face. When he looked at her again, she saw a patient frustration resting on his brow. "You know, Swan, some people just have good intentions at heart. Take a leap of faith here, and let me repay you for being absent the first four months of our child's life."

"I guess we should talk about our expectations, and intentions, or something then, because I don't want you thinking I'm some damsel in distress." Storming away from him toward the living room, Emma plopped down carefully on the couch. Killian appeared a seconds later, leaning against the wall to appraise her. "I'm not. I don't need help, I don't need you or anyone -"

"You may not need someone, but that doesn't mean you don't want someone there," Killian began striding toward her stopping a short distance away. "I get it, you're perfectly capable, strong, brilliant really - but I'm here to stay, love. I don't want you to have to do this alone, and I know you don't want to either."

"How do you know what I want?" she snapped, unable to get comfortable on the couch. She huffed in annoyance, trying to position a pillow behind her back. 

Killian sat beside her, and she glared at him openly. Reaching towards her, she flinched as his hands gently moved the pillow upwards and to the side. 

"You're an open book, love," he murmured, scooting to sit on the other side of the couch, letting her stretch her feet. 

The anger dissipated again, the bond gently thrumming in contentment at his presence. Emma realized she felt exhausted, the onset of the draining interactions and introductions catching up to her. 

"It might not be so bad, to just have you around. Only just a little bit, to help me do baby stuff, and nothing else at all."

Her eyes closed despite the Demon staring at her, and she blinked them open trying to stay awake. 

"Who knows, love," he whispered, voice a low rumbling as her eyes shut again. "You and I could become friends in this mess." 

Emma yawned, curling into the couch, feeling his presence nearby as if they were connected by a length of cord. 

"Not your love," she managed to grumble, his chuckle the last thing she heard before falling asleep. 

ﾟ・.  ｡・. *✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ*⛧*.・｡*ﾟ.★.・.・✫*.・。.・゜

When Emma woke, she was surprised to find she felt well rested, something that hadn't happened in what felt like years. Light music was playing on a radio, and the smell of something delicious was wafting from her kitchen. She blinked the bleariness away, standing with a stretch and a groan. 

"Good morning, Swan," Killian called from the kitchen. Looking around, she realized that he'd cleaned too, her floors gleaming in the pale morning sun. "I made you an omelet, if you'd like one."

"Oh, we haven't been feeling eggs much lately," Emma looked down at her stomach, surprised that the smell wasn't making her retch. "But… Maybe this morning she's decided to give them a chance."

"Probably desperate for something other than sugar and grease," Killian teased, his tail flicking as his head fell back to look at her. He grinned, and she tried to hide her own. 

This was weird. All of it. The familiarity of him, cooking in her kitchen wearing pajamas he'd somehow acquired while she had slept, humming along to the radio's music. Her friends didn't even know he was here, and he had already broken (crashed) through her walls without any of the resistance they had met. Emma bit her lip, rolling it between her teeth. 

A plate slid in front of her, breaking her from her thoughts. A beautiful yellow omelet with flecks of tomato, ham, spinach, and onion rested in front of her. Mouth watering, Emma took a small bite, letting the cheese melt on her tongue. 

She let out an indecent noise, digging into it as Killian sat beside her, amused. 

"I'd never have guessed you haven't eaten before, Swan."

"Shut up," Emma managed, swallowing another bite. "This is so good, I don't know how you did this but it just - it's so good."

"I went downtown after I was sure you were asleep. If I'm going to be staying here, I needed some clothes and the contents of my fridge." He shrugged, taking a bite and chewing slowly. "I didn't go Below, it would be too much hassle right now, and I was worried about you waking up alone."

"Oh." Emma felt surprise tug at her heart, her brows furrowing. "Why would you be worried about me being alone? I'm alone a lot." 

"Because, now you're not. It'd be bad form to take your kindness and make it look spurned." Killian blushed, and Emma stared, scrutinizing him. 

"Well, you don't have to worry, I told you before that I'm fine." 

"Aye, Swan. This was more courtesy than compulsory."

"Good."

They ate in silence, Emma finishing before him. She placed the dish in the sink, then turned to the wall of the kitchen. Focusing her magic, she made the outline of a door appear, pulling it into reality carefully and folding the plane of existence around it. Connecting the door's functioning portal to Killian’s place was the trickier part; without him there, she had to search manually for traces of him. 

Sure enough, she found his apartment in the penthouse of a downtown tower, its all glass windows and dark, minimalist, slate doors sleek compared to her white paneled addition. 

The door clicked into existence, and she fell to her knees, panting. 

"Emma, by Fenrir's blade, are you alright? What did you -" 

"Made," she panted, pointing to the door. "You, door."

"This could have waited, you scared me! The bond fell from reception for a moment and I thought -" Killian looked panic stricken. Emma rolled her eyes. 

"I'm fine. Just used more magic than I thought. It fluctuates; the baby wants more some days. Usually the days when I need it, but," Emma wiped a hand across her face, finding it sweaty as she slicked back her hair. "I make do."

"I'll get you something to -" 

"I'm fine, Killian. I promise."

He nodded and straightened, but watched her warily as she stood. Emma brushed off his worry easily, his concern as far as she was concerned, was nothing more than worry for his offspring - more bond induced nonsense that they would have to muddle through. Killian disarmed her through it, if her guard even let down the slightest bit, the link between them made her too honest, too trusting. 

(Too vulnerable?)

(No. Never again.)

(Careful, always careful; better safe than sorry.)

ﾟ・.  ｡・. *✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ*⛧*.・｡*ﾟ.★.・.・✫*.・。.・゜

Working out all the small kinks took a few days, including the call to her friends that she had found the Demon, and they needed privacy to figure things out before the coven could descend upon them. Mary Margaret, Anna, and Regina took it the hardest (the lattermost to Emma's surprise), but that was fixed with promises to visit individually when possible. Elsa had smoothed it over, truly, by offering (with a new frosty demeanor) to play bad cop to Emma's good. 

Making it clear that Emma needed space and making a case that even rattled Regina, Elsa had convinced everyone to ease up - even while she was miserable. Liam had tried to use his discovery about Killian to apologize, discovering very quickly how 'frigid' she could actually be. 

Killian for the most part seemed grateful just to be there, and out of the tower. His room was set up and Emma had attached it neatly to the tower (the door currently in his closet), and his other residences. It took time, but the house and her magic got along in a great way, the door's stability not at all in question. Killian had teased her after they toured his homes that it was a lot to baby proof - Emma was simply thankful that the two properties he favored were not out of state. The further the distance, the more taxing it got - it was among the few reasons she had that as much as she wished she could make a door to the Below for him, she couldn't. 

"It's alright, Swan. I don't mind going back and forth to get what I need from the Below. It truly doesn't bother me to commute." Dropping another box into his downtown penthouse as she looked on, he shrugged, leaning back to rest on the bar with his elbows. "I can turn in some work, touch base with my team, do the things I can't do up here that need to be done. Plus, it's not as if you would have if you could have - it's illegal to have unauthorized portals to and from the Below. It's in the DRIVES act."

"Oh," Emma blinked. "I keep seeing that, but I don't know much about it honestly. I have to sign the baby up under it at some point -"

"Not any longer. Liam said that when he suspected you initially, but now he's rescinded the request." Killian’s jaw clenched, his claw like nails ripping open the top of the box in a slash. 

Emma shook her head, looking at Killian with sheer confusion. "Why would he do that? I thought it protected -" 

"I asked him to," Killian stated, an edge to his tone. His eyes flicked to look at her, the sideways glance almost a challenge of some sort. Emma pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to understand what was going on. 

"Okay, I guess I don't get it." Shifting to step towards him, Emma frowned when she saw hurt flicker across his face. "Are you upset with me? Why would you ask Liam to do that? Is there something I should know?" 

"There's a lot you should know, love, I just - just don't fret about it. It's fine." Killian smiled, but the lie seeped from his words into his expression. "Just know that if you ask a Demon or anyone close to them, the DRIVES act is not popular. It's a hit list in the right hands, and the attributes asked in that questionnaire are very unnecessary."

"I don't -" 

"Emma, I don't want to explain all of this right now, but I promise I will. I just - I just can't until I am sure you will understand. My brother isn't great about it, but he's better than many." 

"I guess I'll leave you to this then?" Emma grumbled slightly, unaware of whatever she had done. He caught her wrist as she turned to leave, his hand warm over her skin. 

"It's fine. Please stay, we can change the subject." Killian nodded, and he encouraged her to sit at the large bar. He had impeccable taste, if a bit too modern for Emma's liking. Dark colors and steel fixtures looked untouched, gleaming in the light of a sleek fireplace built into an onyx wall. "So you have a doctor's appointment here soon, right?" 

"In two weeks, at the five month mark. I'll be a third of the way along, basically." Emma stroked along where the swell of her belly curved upwards, marveling at how fast time had passed. She was still carrying large, but had completely slowed down in growth to stay the same size. Her body was rounded out almost completely and as much as it could be, her breasts heavier and her center of gravity at risk of creating an orbit. 

Killian hummed in response, watching her intently. "Do you feel…?" 

"Her move?" Emma finished his question, and he nodded. "I'm starting to. She's the size of a plum right now, if you can believe it."

Killian nodded again, the silence once more taken over. He cast a longing look at her before returning to unpacking. The bond thrummed, and Emma found herself by his side. 

"Here." Taking his hand even as he startled, she placed it on the lower side of her stomach, pressing softly against where she felt the baby laying. Killian let out a choked noise of surprise, his hand stiff until the tension loosened and his large palm formed to her side. 

The bond exploded with warmth, as if a knit blanket had been wrapped around her shoulders and a mug of cocoa had been placed in her hands. Every muscle unwound, her thoughts hazy and free. It made her feel too comfortable, to which she accounted for the madness of what came next. 

"You could come, if you want," Emma whispered, her body resting against his in a gentle lean. "To the appointment, I mean."

"I'd like that a lot, actually," he murmured back, his other hand lazily hugging her against himself. 

They stayed like that for a few moments, the bond between them alive with its vibration, until Emma pulled away with sudden realization. 

Killian looked dazed when Emma stared at him, but said nothing when she turned on her heels and stomped back into her own house again. Emma's anger felt like it might eat her alive, the door to her special room opening with no resistance. She scooted between the boxes and ducked under the bottoms of clothes, curling into herself. 

(The bond was officially a problem.)

ﾟ・.  ｡・. *✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ*⛧*.・｡*ﾟ.★.・.・✫*.・。.・゜

For the most part after that, Emma was successful in her attempts to avoid Killian, both of them happy to stay clear of the other without risking the consequences of the tenuous bond. 

Neither of them acknowledged it openly, until a few days before the first trimester check up when Killian confronted her. 

"I don't have to go if you are uncomfortable, but I truly do want to be there for you and our child," he told her seriously, handing her a large bouquet. The flowers smelled amazing, the yellow and white blooms immediately making Emma's heart clench. "I've taken off that day, and I have a chauffeur for you to save you from the commute. I thought we might -" 

"It's fine. I said you could go, and I meant it." Emma shrugged, holding onto every bit of her armor. 

"I meant to ask, and I know what you have said, but…" Killian raked a hand through his hair, tousling it around his horns. "Mixed children tend to take after the non-Demonic parent. Are you sure that you want to keep -" 

"I'm sure," Emma growled, her attention snapping towards him. He lowered his hands in supplication, and Emma realized she was practically ready to spring: her arm had curled around her belly protectively, while the other was outstretched, and the grimace she wore was more bared teeth than anything. 

"I was only confirming. It's - I'm not -" 

"Whatever," Emma snapped, hugging herself tightly. "It's at eight am. Be here by seven." 

"Aye." 

Per his word, he was promptly waiting for her at seven am the morning of the appointment, the sleek black town car's leather seats warm as he helped her inside. 

Emma hadn't seen much of him since their tense conversation, but he cleaned up well in the skin suit - horns, claws, and tail disappearing, and his skin a pale color that made his lips seem to blush. She could tell he was uncomfortable in it, and in an attempt to calm him she took his hand in hers. 

"It grew back nicely," Emma remarked, examining the scars that still appeared, even through the glamor. "Does it hurt?" 

"No. It's prone to stiffness and some cramping, but," He gave her a grin, the unearthly blue of his eyes bright with mischief as they crinkled. "What can one expect from second hand goods." 

Emma could not help the laughter and groan that bubbled up as he gave a dramaticized sigh with a tilt of his head. "That was terrible," she managed, still giggling. 

He only grinned back, giving her hand a squeeze. They sat quietly together until the car stopped, Killian helping her out again and into the lobby of the office. It was a short wait, the doctor looking at Killian with surprise and then distrust as she ran over her checklist. 

"Still feeling movement?" 

"Yes," Emma answered, sitting sideways on the examination table. 

"Eating and drinking well?" 

"Yes," Emma answered, as Killian made a noise. 

"Are there any recipes or guidelines I could follow to cook for her, so she eats -" Killian tried, the doctor wrinkling her nose and not looking at him. 

"You are growing right on schedule, are you having intercourse at all?" the doctor asked, ignoring Killian completely. 

"I - no, I'm not, I -" Emma stammered. 

"Good. Any Demonic Malevolence?" The doctor shot a sideways glance towards Killian, and he frowned. Crossing his arms and sitting back in his chair, he tilted his head to stair at the ceiling. Emma noticed his tail had broken through the glamor as it began flicking rapidly with agitation. 

"Um, I am not sure -" 

"This would be thoughts of hurting others, destruction of items of value, cravings for raw meat, forcing contracts or actions to be done by means of thrall on others or against your own will, feelings that result in heightened fire magics -" 

"Oh, no," Emma shook her head. "Nothing like that at all."

"It's illegal to withhold reports of malevolence, are you aware of that, Miss Swan?" 

"I - Yes," she repeated, slowly. "Yes I am." 

"And you are sure there is nothing you would like to report?" the doctor asked, leering at her. Emma laid a hand over her stomach, looking at Killian. He let his stare at the ceiling drop, catching her eye, his gaze unreadable. 

"I'm sure," Emma nodded. 

The doctor clicked her pen, making a clicking sound with her tongue. "Alright, slide your pants down and lay across the table here. The ultrasound technician will be in shortly." 

The doctor left, leaving Emma and Killian alone. 

"Do you need me to -" Killian began, but Emma was already shimmying down her pants and underwear. 

"Oh, no," Emma said, realizing his attempt at giving her privacy. "I - you're going to want to see this, I think, and at this point, my vagina and you are going to become acquainted in the least desirable of ways that I doubt anyone could sexualize. I'm fine with it. If you are grossed out, let me know. I don't want you fainting - "

"I assure you that I do not intend to faint or do anything untoward," Killian stated firmly. 

"Good," Emma said simply. 

The technician came in moments after, immediately glaring at Killian as she got to work. She squirted freezing gel on the roundness of Emma's belly, making her jump. Killian snapped to attention, looking at the technician with narrowed eyes before moving his chair closer. 

The technician pursed her lips before plastering a sunny smile over her grimace. "Alright, let's see this baby! Fingers crossed for good news!" 

Taking her wand, the Fairy made a few circular motions, a glowing mist sticking to the gel of Emma's stomach. Waving her wand at the machine, the machine whirred to life, focusing in on a blurry image.

"That's her?" Killian asked, reverently, leaning forward to look at the monitor in awe. The small white blob kicked out a tiny leg, flailing in the black and gray of the background. Emma felt his fingers interlace with hers, and found that she was grateful for the grounding gesture. 

"That's our baby, oh I - Killian, she's perfect, she's -" Emma could barely recognize her own voice; the excitement, the weight, the proof that they were a part of this something forever and the giddiness of everything stealing her breath. Tears pricked at her eyes, the emotions too much. Swiping them away, Emma took in a deep breath, and steeled herself again. 

"Good call, a beautiful little princess is nice and snug in Mum." The nurse pointed to the screen at the baby's sex, before giving a sly glance towards Killian. "She looks normal enough; didn't inherit much of her father at all. Bless your luck for that." 

Emma glanced at Killian, tensing at the nurse's rudeness, but he didn't seem to notice. His smile was wide as he squeezed her hand, the grin making his eyes twinkle absolutely infectiously. All Emma could feel was adoration, the warm balm of it through the bond, and the lightness that made her squeeze his hand back in turn.

"She's beautiful," he sighed out, and Emma managed a choked nod, before his eyes caught her own. Worry immediately spread across his features. "You're crying, darling are you -" 

"I'm fine, I just got -" Emma hiccuped, trying to stop the tears rolling down her face. The nurse, to her credit, was cleaning up quickly, wrinkling her nose at them in disdain when Killian cupped her cheek, his thumb gently swiping away tears. "I just got overwhelmed for a moment. Thank you for coming, it means so much more than I thought, and -" 

"Thank you for letting me," Killian replied simply, shrugging ever so slightly. He pressed a kiss to her knuckles, and Emma shivered at the electricity that seemed to shoot down her spine. 

Emma rebuttoned her pants and pulled her sweater over her stomach, standing carefully while Killian smoothed down the knitted fabric. Swaying into his touch, he let her rest her cheek against his chest, the comfort of the not-quite embrace washing over them. Humming a noise that he reciprocated, her hands splayed across the stretch of his chest, as Killian’s nose rested against the crown of her head while his lips pressed chastely against her forehead. 

(It could be like this forever, it could be everything and a future if you just -) 

The nurse cleared her throat loudly, and Emma jumped away from Killian’s arms, looking startled. 

"Your pictures are ready," she drawled, her eyebrows raised even as her eyes began to narrow. "If you'd like them, that is." 

Emma nodded, swallowing a deep breath to calm her racing heart. 

The pictures were a blurry mess, a few profiles of their baby that were more modern art than much else. One was marked as 'thumbsucking' and Emma tried not to be overcome by the strange swell of emotions that threatened when she traced the tiny hand that met a tiny mouth. Killian’s favorite was of their baby's feet, crossed at the ankles but directly in view of the camera's viewpoint. They were so tiny, so small even with their tiny nubbins of toes. 

Leading her to the car, the chauffeur asked where they were headed. 

"We can go home if you like, Swan," Killian hesitated, taking her hand and swiping his thumb over her knuckles. "But -" 

"It's alright if you have plans today. I understand, I didn't expect you to stay," Emma mumbled, trying not to let her strange disappointment leak through the bond, or show in her downcast eyes. 

Killian laughed slightly, shaking his head. "On the contrary, I was going to ask you to lunch."

Emma looked up sharply, lips parting in surprise. "Oh, I'd - I wouldn't mind that at all -" 

"I thought we could have lunch together, then we could go shopping for her, now that we know for sure, and you could pick out anything you don't have already." Blushing, he raked back his hair with his other hand, scratching behind his ear. "If you're up for it, that is. I know that this is all…" He made a gesture with his hand, and Emma could not help the laughter that bubbled up. 

"I'd love that, but I can't afford -"

"My treat, all around." Killian squeezed her hand again, his eyes meeting hers as she bit her lip. "Please. Let me take care of you, and her. I know it's all -" 

"Fubar?" Emma suggested, his lips quirking into a grin. 

"Sure, though I would argue Snafu, as not everything has been a disaster. Some of this, it's been -" 

Emma cut him off, calling out to the chauffeur. 

"Granny's please, on Crimson boulevard and Lupine Highway." 

The chauffeur nodded, and Killian rolled his eyes. "You have to eat something besides grilled cheese and onion rings, Swan."

"You said vegetables, and that's what onion rings are. Delicious, delicious, vegetables." Emma grinned, leaning herself to rest against him. 

(So much for armor, you let him through your walls like he owns the place. Stop letting the bond win, stop letting yourself forget about your scars!) 

(Shut up, brain, and let me eat my onion rings.)

[spookysweet-heart]

Reshape The Past

Request: No

Fandom: Battle Egos

Parings: Battle Egos x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mention of Death

A/N: This is Part Two! Part One can be found here! This is gonna be a Julie and The Phantoms AU, with the Holloway Sisters and Battle Boys! I hope you like it! The songs featured throughout the series are by their respective bands and artists, I’ll link each song that’s featured so you all can listen along. Each song I chose has significance to the story, so I hope you pay attention to them! The collage was made by me! Edited by @semiproeagle23​

The girls looked at each other before they turned their attention to the drum set. 

“Who’s going to play the drums….” Raven spoke softly, walking towards them placing a gentle hand on one of the drums.

Marie glanced at the drums before looking back down at her notebook, feeling unsure.

Anne bit her lip nervously while clenching and unclenching her fists. “I-” Taking a deep breath in and out, she let her nerves slip away. “I’ll do it. This song doesn’t need a keyboardist anyway. I know her parts.”

Marie took Anne’s hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Are you sure?”

“Positive!” Anne smiled at her sisters as Raven walked towards her with Natalie’s drumsticks. 

“Our little sunshine, still brightening up the place even if we’re dead.” She playfully ruffled Anne’s hair, making her giggle.

“It’s settled, then! Let’s go get (Y/n)!” Marie was the first one to disappear with the other two following along.

Sitting at the kitchen table, you took a sip of your coffee and scrolled through your phone, seeing the pictures your mom posted of her and your younger siblings in her new house. Looking up from your phone, you saw the three women staring at you sitting at the table.

“Jesus fucking Christ! How long have you three been here?!”

“Just got here, actually. Had breakfast yet?” Anne sweetly smiled and looked around, noticing a bowl by the sink.

“Just some cereal. Why? Did you want something to eat?”

“We can’t eat.”

“Or sleep.”

“Or pick up anything that isn’t ours.”

“What?” You looked at them a little confused. 

Raven excitedly looked at you, grinning. “So last night we figured out we can pick up and play our instruments!”

“We wanna know if it’s okay if we show you a song we wrote?” Marie slid her notebook to you.

Taking the notebook, you looked through the pink and black colored pages. Reading the lyrics for a few seconds, you looked back at them, nodding. “Sure, why not. I should still have time before I have to get to class.” Sliding the book back, you stood up, putting the mug in the sink, and followed them out to the studio.

Raven pulled out a chair for you to sit on in front of them.

“Are you ready?” Anne asked you after she got comfortable behind the drums.

“Ready when you guys are. What’s the song called again?”

Raven smiled, adjusting her mic. “Candy Coated Lies!”

Marie grinned, adjusting the strap of the guitar. Counting down silently from three with her fingers, the group began to play.

Marie started feeling the excitement run through her when she started to sing. “Just about done livin' this life. Look at my face when you're talking to me, talking to me. Brought a blunt knife to a gunfight. Words and phrases lock me in cages. I'm taking my time if it's alright. Hold the world up but it's weighing on me, weighing on me. Watch it all fall from a great height. All these rats that are running races.”

Raven took over the pre-chorus. “Stay away, you push me to the edge. I need a tidal wave to drown out all the pain in me” She looked over at Marie when she joined her for the chorus.

“Just about to break, I can't stand the taste of Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Every day, the same, driving me insane. Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies.”

Anne focused as much as she could on playing the drums. It felt a little off at first, but she started to feel free with each passing beat. Raven and Marie glanced back at her when she took over the vocals. “You're killin' my vibe for the last time. Vultures up high started preying on me, preying on me. Take a step back to the broadside, 'cause I'm not as brave as I'm letting on to be. Losing my breath but I'm alive. Should have spent more time fighting for me, fighting for me. Making my way to the bright side. Is there paradise?”

The other two join in, the three of them singing the chorus. “Just about to break, I can't stand the taste of Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Every day, the same, driving me insane. Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies.”

Raven took the lead for a moment to let Marie catch her breath a little longer. “Talons digging deep down inside of me. Holding this absentee, guilty, and desperately.”

Marie closed her eyes for a second and smiled when she opened them again, seeing you look at them in awe. Giving this last round her all, you saw her grow more and more passionate about asking you to join their band. “Just about to break, I can't stand the taste of Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Every day, the same, driving me insane. Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Just about to break, I can't stand the taste of Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Every day, the same, driving me insane. Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Stay away, you push me to the edge. Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. I need a tidal wave, to drown out all the pain in these, Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies.”

Anne dropped the drumsticks, shaking her fingers to loosen them up. Raven took off the strap of her bass and carefully put it back in its place. Marie breathed a bit heavily, but her smile never faded. “So? What’d ya think?”

Smiling, you stood up, clapping for them. “That was amazing! But is Anne okay?”

“I’m fine! Not used to playing drums is all!” She lightly waved her hand, dismissing your concern. “All good!”

Raven walked towards you with a small smile on her face. “This isn’t everything, to be honest.”

Marie gestured to the logo on the drum set. “We want you to be a part of our band!”

“(Y/n)?? Hey! Are you here?!” A voice from the other side of the door caught you four off guard. 

“Oh shit! No, I forgot my friend was coming over today to help unpack…” You looked around frantically before Raven got your attention.

“Hey, we’re ghosts, remember? They probably won’t be able to see us.”

“R-right…” Turning your attention to the door, you made your way to it, opening it.  “Erica!! Hey!”

“Hey, yourself! I was looking for you everywhere and when I made my way back here, I heard music coming from inside.” 

The girls looked at each other with wide eyes and smiles when they realized what she said. 

Erica looked around, seeing the stereo was on. “So you were just listening to music, then?”

“Yup!” 

“Seriously, you of all people need to sign up for the talent show this weekend! Your name alone could get you a deal.”

Playfully rolling your eyes, you wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “That’s exactly what I don’t want. If I want a deal with a label, I want it for my talent, not the name.”

“You never want an easy way in.”

“Nope! It takes the fun out of everything. You know I wanna work on this.”

“I’m just saying, the opportunity is there. You should take it.”

“Don’t think so. C’mon, I’ll buy you breakfast on the way to school.” Quickly waving to the girls, you closed the door behind you, leaving them alone.

Anne took a seat on the couch with Marie getting her acoustic guitar. “This is gonna be great! That girl heard us!”

“Yeah, but she can’t see us.” Raven crossed her arms over her chest, looking down at them.

“Yeah...but it’s a start. We just need (Y/n) to agree to join the band and we sign up with her for that talent show. She can maybe play it off like she recorded all the instruments while we actually play.”

Raven only shook her head. “That sounds ridiculous...but I guess anything is possible now.”

Anne looked up at Raven a little concerned. “You okay?”

“Yeah...kinda. I’m just feeling overwhelmed...I think I’m gonna go for a walk or something..”

“Do you want one of us to go with you?” Marie asked while putting down the guitar.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just be a while. I’ll be back later.” Raven disappeared, leaving a red mist behind.

Walking with her hands loosely behind her back, Raven looked around the huge park, seeing children playing, running around, and giggling while their parents watched over them. 

Everything seemed normal for a moment, she felt like things were okay...till someone phased right through her and she felt like reality punched her in the face again. Raven was a little dizzy, not used to people just going right through her. 

Before she knew what was happening, she was on the ground with slight pain on her forehead. “Hey watch where the fuck-” Raven blinked, trying to understand what happened.

The other woman who bumped into her frantically stood up, lending Raven a hand. “I am so so sorry! I thought I’d phase right through you. I thought you were alive!”

Raven took her hand, letting the other ghost help her up. “You crashed into me...wait you thought I was alive? Does that mean you’re...dead, too?” 

The woman gave her a nod, still holding her hand. “Yeah. been dead for a while. I’m Lexi, by the way.” Looking down, still seeing their hands touching, Lexi quickly took hers back, feeling a little embarrassed. “I- I’m sorry again, uh but can I ask you something?”

“I’m Raven, and uh sure I guess…” 

“Are you new to the whole dead thing?” Lexi adjusted her bag on her shoulder.

“What gave it away?” Raven playfully rolled her eyes at the question, giving Lexi a smile to reassure her she wasn’t being mean.

“Everything, honestly.” Lexi smiled back. “You look like something’s troubling you. Wanna talk about it?”

“Are you sure you have time to listen to me?”

“Pretty sure I have some time before I meet up with a friend.” Lexi led the way to the other side of the park where no one was occupying any of the benches.

After a while of listening to Raven, Lexi nodded and looked over at her. “So now you guys don’t know where your other sister is, and this girl. (Y/n)?”

“Yeah.” 

“She can see you guys. And she’s living in your old house, and you’re sure she’s alive?”

“Also her old house, and yes, we’re sure.” Raven got quiet for a second.

“Have you tried finding what your unfinished business is?”

“My what?”

“Your unfinished business, like what you wanted to do before you died but never got the chance to.”

Raven thought for a second but shook her head. “I can’t think of anything at the moment. It’s all too much. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. You’re new, so it’s not gonna come right away. Some of us never really find it.”

“What about you? How’d you die?” Raven looked at Lexi before immediately covering her mouth with her hand. “I- I mean you don’t have to tell me, it’s fine. I’m sorry if that’s too personal for you.”

Lexi giggled and shook her head. “No, it’s fine. You told me your story. It’s only fair that I share mine. I died with my best friend. Her name’s Kimberly and we were inseparable in life, so it made sense even after death we’d still be with each other. We’d joke about that kinda thing, so when it happened we freaked out. We were walking home from getting dinner one night since the place was just a block away from our apartment. We didn’t see it coming at all. Someone was being robbed and we got caught in the crossfire. We got shot cause the person who was running away wasn’t looking where they were shooting.”

Raven took Lexi’s hand in hers, squeezing it. “I’m so sorry, oh my god, that’s horrible.”

Lexi smiled softly. “It’s alright. What’s done is done, right?”

“Lexi!!! Dude we’re gonna be late!” Someone shouted from across the field, waving and trying to get Lexi’s attention.

“Is that your friend?” Raven let go of her hand, feeling a little disappointed.

“Ah yeah, that’s her. I gotta go, but I’ll see you around, Raven.” Lexi stood up, stretching her arms a bit.

“Uh, w-would it be alright if we meet up tomorrow?” Raven quickly stood up, looking down at Lexi, hoping she’d say yes.

“Tomorrow? I should be able to meet up for sure. When and where?”

“Tomorrow morning, here? If that’s okay.”

“That’s completely fine. See ya then!” Lexi disappeared for a second. When Raven looked up, she saw her across the field.

“Who was that?” Kimberly grins over at Lexi, curious to know of a possible new friend.

“Newly dead, her name’s Raven..”

“Pretty name. Just her?”

Lexi shakes her head. “She has two sisters, she was just feeling lost.”

“I remember that feeling…”

“Yeah...So it’s almost showtime for you isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but you know I get worried…”

“I’m not passing through or whatever. Besides, why would I ever miss a friend's show? You know I can’t.” Lexi smiled as they both disappeared.

Standing in front of the red velvet rope, they showed the guard their IDs. Being let in, they walked through the huge lobby, making their way to the staircase leading downstairs.

“There she is!”

“Here I am! What’s up Bones?” Kimberly gave him her best puppy eyes she could.

“Nope, not gonna work this time. We have ten minutes till curtains up and you were almost a no show.”

“Chill, I was out for a walk. I needed to clear my head a bit. I’m sorry.”

“Change, please.” Bones pointed to the costume on the rack. 

With a snap of her fingers, she changed into the costume her boss designed. “Done.”

“There you two are! Has the boss seen you yet?” Natpai almost rushed into the group.

“Not yet. Is he mad?” Lexi asked, but a shiver ran down her spine when she felt someone standing behind her. Turning around, she saw the owner of the club.

“Mad? No. Irritated? Definitely…” 

“Phantom! I- I mean sir it was my fault. I went out for a walk, and we lost track of time! It won’t happen again.”

Phantom’s eyes glow a bright red for a moment before calming down. “Of course it won’t. You wanna know why?”

They all stayed silent, not daring to say a word.

“I OWN YOU. I GAVE YOU THIS FREEDOM AND I CAN TAKE IT AWAY!”

“Y-yes, sir…”

Adjusting his tie, Phantom’s demeanor became softer. “Now, Mare’s waiting for you three on stage. Bones, Natpai, you two go on ahead.”

The two brothers nodded and gathered their things, rushing off to their places.

Phantom smiled down at the two women in front of him. “My girls,” Placing his hands on their cheeks, he gently stroked his thumb against them. “What were you two up to? You know I keep tabs on you both.” Taking his hands back he looks between the women staring at him. “I know you met someone new. Care to share anything about that?”

“Uh, um, I- I bumped into her. She’s newly dead…” Lexi looked down at her shoes, feeling intimidated. 

“Go on, sweetheart, what else?”

“She also has sisters with her....that’s all I know, sir. We only talked for a few minutes.”

“Interesting. Well, they're newly dead and they seem like ordinary ghosts. I see no reason to invite them here, yet.”

Both Kimberly and Lexi looked up at Phantom. “Invite them?”

“To see a show, of course! Isn’t that what we do here?! We put on shows not just for the living but the dead must also have a place to come and relax.” Phantom looked at his watch. “And look at that, you’re up. You, get to the stage. The band needs a singer, don't they?”

“Yes, sir!” 

“And you, they need their stage manager backstage, don’t they? Get to it!”

“Yes, sir!” Both women go their separate ways, leaving Phantom to walk over to the balcony overlooking the entertainment room. The orb on his cane glowed a dim red.

“We’ll keep an eye on those new ghosts. They might be of use…”

Back at the house, Raven popped back in to see Anne looking through their things and Marie sitting on the floor hunched over her notebook, looking frustrated. “What’s up with you?” 

“Remember the song we were working on? I’ve been trying to finish it, but I can’t figure out the chorus.” Marie frowned, not liking what she wrote.

Raven sat next to her and took the notebook, reading over the lyrics. “Take your jacket out my car, out my car. So I can forget who you are, who you are. Fall forward, fading through catastrophe-feeling.”

 “That’s where I just blank out…”

Raven looked over at Anne. “Have you tried to help?”

“Yup, I couldn’t think of anything either, so I decided to see what else of ours is in this bag.”  Pulling out a red cap, Anne tried it on.

“Hey, that’s mine!” Raven pouted, standing up and dropping the notebook back on the ground next to Marie.

“Guys, don’t make a mess here, we share the space, remember!” Marie raised her voice a little, feeling annoyed.

“Hey…are you guys still here?” You poked your head in to see an annoyed-looking Marie while Raven and Anne had a tug of war with a red cap. “I see I’m interrupting something.”

Anne let go of the cap and smiled, making Raven stumble. “You’re not!”

Raven glared at Anne, dusting off the cap so she could put it on.

“I’m glad I’m not.”  Stepping inside, you closed the door and took a seat on the couch, feeling grateful for not being on your feet for once today.

“Is something wrong?” Anne looked at you concerned.

“Hm? Oh! No, nothing's wrong, just tired from classes and unpacking so much today.”

“That’s understandable. I’m sorry you have a lot on your plate at the moment.” Anne resisted the urge to give your shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“It’s fine. Um, but I do have one thing I wanna get off my to-do list.”

“What is it?” Raven asked as she took a seat in one of the empty chairs.

“I thought about your offer. About joining the band.” All three girls instantly looked at you, hope shining in their eyes. “It took me all day to think about not just joining, but also about signing up for the talent show. It’s a huge thing the college does 'cause it’s not just a talent show. They call it that to make it simpler, but it’s just multiple shows to see who record labels are looking for.”

“Sounds like a lot of fun, honestly.” Marie smiled, sitting up and leaning back against the coffee table.

“It is! Um, but it’s also a lot of work too. Despite that, I think I’m ready to get back into music and sign up for this thing with you guys as a band!”

“Really?!” They immediately said it at the same time, making you giggle and nod.

“Yeah! I think it’ll be a good new path for the future. Ya know, kinda like reshaping the past in a way for myself.”

Marie grinned and quickly grabbed her notebook. “(Y/n), You’re a genius!!!”

“Huh?“ Looking at the other two confused, Raven smiled softly. 

“You just helped Marie finish the chorus of a song we were working on.”

“Oh! Can I see it? If that’s okay.”

“Of course!” Marie happily handed you the notebook, excited to hear what you thought of it.

Taking your time to read through it, you nodded your head while tapping your foot against the floor. “Well, we have the lyrics. I think I have an Idea for music.”

Raven went silent for a moment before she spoke up. “I met someone today while I was on my walk.”

The three of you looked at her curiously. “Who’d you meet?”

“I, uh, met this girl. Her name’s Lexi. She’s also dead like us. She’s really nice, and she helped me out with some things I had difficulty understanding about us being ghosts now.”

“You should invite her to the show!” Anne got excited, bouncing in her chair.

“She’d be the only one to actually see us on stage with (Y/n). I don’t think it would be a problem.” Marie smiled at Raven, playfully poking her cheek. ”You should definitely invite her.”

“Well not just her. Would you be fine if her friend tags along, too?”

Anne giggled, feeling her excitement bubble even more. “Oooo! Another ghost! We can make two new friends now!”

“I think that’d be sweet if you invited them.” You smiled at Raven while handing Marie her notebook back. “I also think I’m going to bed. I’ll see you three bright and early to start working on this song!” Stretching as you stood up, you waved goodbye to them when you started to leave the studio. “Night everyone!”

During the week, you spent most of your free time with the girls working on the song. You taught Anne how to use the soundboard when she played the keyboard. It took the first two days to agree on the drum sounds you’d use, but it worked out in the end. You, Marie, and Raven figured out who would sing what parts of the songs, both girls agreed you’d take the lead for the majority of it while they took backup instead.

The morning of the performance, the four of you looked through your wardrobe to see what you could wear. You settled on an old band shirt, ripped jeans, and a black jean jacket. It was casual, but still fit the mood of the song. The big factor was that you felt comfortable in it and could move around.

“So this is the place?” Lexi looked around the outdoor theatre area, amazed that it was as huge as it was.

“Looks like it...oh! Is that the girl that can see them?” Kimberly looked in your direction, but you didn’t notice since you were setting up the keyboard and soundboard almost off stage.

“Yeah, that’s her.” Lexi smiled when she spotted Raven helping you.

“Why don’t you ask her out?” Kimberly tilted her head, asking genuinely. 

“I- it’s not like that, dude. We’re just friends...”

“Right, just friends. That can change, you know.”

“Shut up. You’re a dork.” Lexi’s cheeks started to turn light pink, feeling a little embarrassed. 

“I’m your dork and you’re stuck with me!” Kimberly laughed when she saw Lexi pout.

“Alright, alright. Settle down, everyone. I believe our next act is ready to begin.” The host of the show looked over at you.

Nervously, you whispered to Marie. “I don’t think I can go through with this after all…”

“You got this, (Y/n), we wouldn't have asked you to do this if we didn't think you were perfect for the part. We’ll be here, just look over at us when you need support, alright? You’re not alone in this.” Marie gave an encouraging smile before you were led out to the stage.

Adjusting the mic to be a bit lower, you looked out into the audience and felt your nerves almost wash away when you saw your friend Erica in the front row, smiling and giving you a thumbs up. “Um, hey, everyone. I hope you guys are enjoying yourselves so far. The song I’ll be performing is called Take Your Jacket. Thank you for listening, and I hope you enjoy it.”

Pressing the button on the soundboard, the music went out through the speakers. Taking a deep breath in, you picked up the mic and started the song.

“You want your song? Well, here's an anthem. You broke my heart and held all of my past to ransom. Well, get a grip. You're not that special. Trying to slip around the demons that you wrestle. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying my hardest. Don't get me wrong, but sometimes the smart ain't strong.”

You were about to look over at the girls, but before you or anyone could prepare themselves, they suddenly appeared on stage, playing their instruments and joining you on the chorus. “Take your jacket out my car, out my car. So I can forget who you are, who you are. Fall forward, fading through catastrophe-feeling. Like the storm will never pass. Break the mold, reshape the past.”

Taking the lead again, you danced over to Marie, singing the next part to her. “Came from beneath and knocked me over. Rotting my teeth, you're sickly sweet like cherry cola.” Continuing to sing, you turned your attention back to the crowd. “No, not this time, no, you won't fool me. Your childish tricks are in the past, I can guarantee. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying my hardest, Don't get me wrong, But being the smartest ain't too clever.”

Raven and Marie joined in on the chorus, jumping and dancing in place. “Take your jacket out my car, out my car. So I can forget who you are, who you are. Fall forward, fading through catastrophe-feeling. Like the storm will never pass. Break the mold, reshape the past.”

You started to dance around on stage with the girls as they played their instrumental parts. It’s then that you all realized the crowd was cheering at all of you. The girls' smiles widened, looking at you and realizing the audience could see them!

Smiling and feeling excited, you took center stage, ready to finish the song on a great note. “Take your jacket out my car, out my car. So I can forget who you are, who you are. Fall forward, fading through catastrophe-feeling. Like the storm will never pass. The hole you left is sore at best. We know this wouldn't last, reshape the past.” 

Hearing the crowd cheer for you all was a feeling you never thought you’d hear again. Looking around at the girls, they smiled at you before they disappeared, leaving a white mist behind. The audience's cheers slowly faded, wondering what happened to the band.

Quickly thinking, you started to explain what just happened. “Uh thank you all for enjoying our performance! We’re The Hex Girls! Hologram band all ran by me, (Y/n) (L/n).” Taking a bow, you left the mic on the stand and ran off stage where Erica was waiting. 

“A hologram band?! Seriously?” She crossed her arms over her chest

“What?” You look at her genuinely confused.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this? (Y/n)? I thought we said no more secrets after what happened with your dad…”

“I….I know I’m sorry but this was super last minute. Please You have to understand-”

“Yeah, understand that my best friend since Elementary School decides to keep it a secret that she joins and makes a band, let alone signs up for this show without telling me either when I was the one encouraging you to do it in the first place?!”

“I’m sorry, seriously! I just wanted it to be a surprise…”

“Sure is a surprise...that you don’t trust me to help with this. You know I don’t like when you put everything on yourself.” Erica sighed and shook her head. “I’m gonna head home.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” You asked her, but it felt more like pleading.

“Probably not…” Erica turned to leave, leaving you alone by the door backstage. 

“That was amazing! They saw us!” Marie shouted in excitement when she caught up with her sisters and two new friends. “So, which one of you is Lexi?”

“That’s me..” Lexi shyly smiled.

Marie hugged her tightly before letting go. “Thanks for helping out my sister the past week. She talks about you a lot, by the way.”

Raven punched Marie’s arm, slightly embarrassed. “Do not, stop lying.”

Anne giggled and mouthed out, “She does” to Lexi, making her blush even more.

Marie pouted at Raven while rubbing her arm, “Geez, you didn’t have to hit that hard.” Looking over at the other two giggling, she smiled. “And how about you?”

“Me? Oh! I’m Kimberly, it's nice to meet you.” Reaching out her hand, Marie took it in hers and shook her hand before taking it back.

Anne pouted, feeling a bit left out. “Why am I the one left out without a cute girl to talk to?”

Both Lexi and Kimberly blushed while Raven and Marie laughed. 

“You’re not being left out, dummy, you’re a part of the group. Stop being a pouty baby, sunshine.” Marie hugged Anne from behind, making her giggle.

From afar, Phantom saw all of them interacting before putting his sunglasses on and making his way back to his car. The soul collector had an idea brewing in his head after seeing that very interesting performance.

Tag List:

@lady-bee-fechin​

@forbiddenstars​

@wildspeciallavender​

@fluffy-demon-wolf​

@huffle-princess​

[zwritestuff]

Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes (Crygi)

“D’you wanna get married?” Gigi blurts out before she can think it twice. No, scratch that. She’s not thinking at all. 

Crystal doesn’t even flinch or look surprised by the question; she just stares at Gigi for a long second, blowing the smoke in her face again.

“Sure, why not?” She replies, throwing the cigarette on the floor and stomping on it.

a/n: SPARE ME THE DIRTY GLANCE, ‘KAY? the people asked for it (well, it was like three anons and one person.) and i delivered. will someone read this and not think i’m straight up mental? who the fuck knows! but just to clarify - yes, i did write based off gigi’s instagram caption where she said she and crystal got married in vegas. do i think that’s true? that’s for me to know and clown over, thank you very much. it’s not beta-ed at all and poorly looked over, so pls act as if there are no mistakes even though there are. title comes from Waking Up In Vegas by Katy Perry.

“D’you wanna get another round?” Gigi shouts over the music so Crystal can hear. But Crystal barey registers her, being far too much worried in trying to re-apply her lipstick — her phone serving as a mirror and the flashlight making her squint.

They’ve been in drag for hours now, and everything hurts, aches and itches. Crystal’s sparkly red lips are now a shadow of what they were at the beginning of the night, and if Crystal insistes on re-applying some of her lipstick, it’ll end up being more of a mess, for she can’t get her hands to draw a straight line.

Gigi’s lost her hat somewhere, the last she remembers is that Heidi took it to fool around and take pics with it. She doesn’t mind; it was heavy, anyway, and if Heidi lost it she can use that to ask her for a favour later on, once the tour begins and their lives turn into a complete and utter chaos.

“Ta-da!” Crystal exclaims satisfied, turning to see Gigi. Her red lipstick is smudged around the edges, with half of the glitter gone and she’s pretty sure she got some in her teeth too. “What were you sayin’?” She asks, pulling down the neck of her dress and stuffing the lipstick there. Gigi giggles; she swears she’s seen Crystal put from bills to her phone there, and she’s not sure why, if her coat has large pockets, but whenever she does it she can briefly see that stupid One Direction tattoo, so it’s not that she’s complaining. 

“Want another round?” Gigi repeats, coming closer to Crystal can hear her better. Crystal blinks owlishly, tilting her head to the side and furrowing her brows before speaking.

“Wait a second…” She says, standing up from her seat and trying to walk. It takes her about two steps before she almost trips with her own feet, even while she’s grabbing the table for some stability. Crystal sits back down as Gigi laughs loudly. “No,” Crystal replies, with that high pitched tone she always uses when she’s embarrassed.

Gigi complains with a whine, sounding far too childish, and if they were a little sober Crystal would make a joke about this, but Crystal seems one shot away of being drunk out of her mind and therefore she’s unable to form any coherent thought. She just giggles at whatever Gigi says or does, before jamming to the music blasting through the place — a remix of Circus by Britney Spears, currently, and she tries to do the whip movement when the lyric comes on. 

“Careful, Britney, you’re gonna get dizzy,” Gigi advices, a giggle escapes her as Crystal does weird moves to the beat of the song. 

Crystal pulls her tongue out at her, scooting herself closer in the couch of the booth so now she’s in Gigi’s personal space and dancing all over her. Gigi laughs loudly, throwing her head back against the headboard of the couch as Crystal pokes at her ribs as she sings off-tune.

“I make it hooot, when I put on a ssshowwww,” Crystal drunkenly slurs, singing right in Gigi’s ear, pressing her lips ever so slightly. It sends chills down Gigi’s spine, making her stomach twitch, and she doesn’t even mind the fact Crystal has probably left her lipstick smeared in her ear and wig. She’s left her lipstick in far worse places before.

They’ve been fooling around for quite some time now, running from Missouri to California and everywhere in between. The whole ‘dating a drag queen that lives in the opposite side of the country’ it’s hectic in every possible way, not only because the show will air in a few weeks and whatever privacy they have will fly right out the window — not that they have any privacy now, if they were to be honest.

Crystal’s lips linger on her cheek, mumbling the words of the songs, her breath is hot against her skin and if they weren’t in a public event, with lots of cameras everywhere, filming every move they make, Gigi would’ve grabbed her by her wig and pulled her into a kiss long ago.

“Wanna go for a cigarette?” Gigi blurts out at the same time the song transitions from Circus to Womanizer.

“But you don’t— oh!” She catches on when Gigi stares at her lips and bites her own bottom lip, winking. A dumb, toothy smile spreads across her face as Crystal nods.

They lace their hands together and navigate through the crowd, elbowing people to get to outside, running into their season sisters every so often. Nicky is already drunk, giving Jackie a sloppy lap dance and Jackie exudes gay panic, while Jaida just doubles with laughter and Jan —seeming to be the only sober one— films the entire ordeal. Gigi lets a sigh of relief when they don’t notice them leaving together.

There is, however, a tinge of worry at the back of her mind that someone has noticed them, but she doesn’t pay it much attention, since she’s trying to help Crystal walk without falling in the process.

The cold night air hits them and Gigi suddenly feels a bit more woken up. Crystal sighs heavily and fetches for something in her coat, smiling happily when she pulls out a package of cigarettes, and leans against the wall.

Gigi just stares at her as she tries to light up the cigarette, closely watching the tube when it doesn’t light up at the fifth attempt. She grumbles, throwing it away with a childish whine.

“Got a light?” Crystal asks, the cigarette dangles from her lips and Gigi tries to search for Widow’s lighter in her pockets.

(Widow didn’t lend her lighter, she just forgot to ask back for it long ago, and now Gigi is stuck with a lighter she only uses to light up Crystal’s cigarettes.)

There’s a flame and Crystal brings her face closer to it, firmly holding the cigarette between her lips. Gigi would normally scold her for it, but right now the action doesn’t even phase her. 

Crystal takes a drag and blows the smoke right into Gigi’s face. Gigi is embarrassed to say she finds it hot.

“You’re an angel, Geeg, you knew that?” Crystal says, winking at her. “C’mere.” She pats the air next to her and Gigi settles beside her, watching Crystal as she smokes.

There’s something about Crystal that makes her endearing to watch, even if she’s not doing anything. But it’s Gigi who we’re talking about; Gigi, who’s beyond head over heels with Crystal. It’s funny, when she thinks about it, this all started because Crystal was so unapologetically weird during their time on Drag Race, and Gigi felt more and more drawn to her until she was so into Crystal she found it hard to breathe.

And then Crystal reciprocated her feelings, after God knows how many shared fruit snacks, hints thrown her way and subtle flirting, and Gigi forgot how to breathe altogether.

“You think too loud,” Crystal suddenly says, and Gigi blinks repeatedly.

“What you mean?” 

Crystal gives her a shit eating grin before answering.

“You think that I’m so coooool, and awesome and cuuuute, and how you wanna wife me upppp,” Crystal babbles, holding her cigarette in her hand as she leans closer to Gigi again, hitting her with the smell of nicotine and tequila. 

She brushes her lips against Gigi’s, being the tease she is, and then Gigi groans, grabbing her by her wig and closing the distance between them.

Their lips move lazily, tasting every second that the kiss lasts, taking all the time in the world. The kiss is tender and soft, making Gig feel butterflies in her stomach — it doesn’t matter how many times she kisses Crystal, it still makes her melt and feel as if she’s sixteen and kissing a boy for the first time.

Crystal breaks the kiss after some moments and goes back to smoking, placing an arm around Gigi’s waist. Gigi lets her head fall in Crystal’s shoulder, looking at the oddly empty streets when something catches her attention.

There’s one of those chapels in which people get married as if it’s no big deal, and a group of people await in front one of those, with their cameras ready as they snicker between each other. A couple comes out from behind the doors, and there’s screeching and laughter as many flashes point their way and there’s rice thrown.

Gigi imagines for a moment that’s her and Crystal. How funny would it be if they actually got married? Gigi’s always wanted a big wedding, because if she’s leaving the market, she may as well go with a bang. But a small, private wedding doesn’t sound half as bad — she imagines herself in full drag, cinched and painted, anxiously waiting to say “I do.”

She looks at Crystal, trying to imagine how would it be if they got married. She doesn’t think much of the actual cohabiting, that doesn’t even cross her mind; instead, she wonders what would Crystal wear, and if she’d cry once the moment of saying their vows arrives.

An idea crosses her mind, and at that moment it seems innocent enough, but later on she’ll find out it may have not been that good.

“D’you wanna get married?” Gigi blurts out before she can think it twice. No, scratch that. She’s not thinking at all. 

Crystal doesn’t even flinch or look surprised by the question; she just stares at Gigi for a long second, blowing the smoke in her face again.

“Sure, why not?” She replies, throwing the cigarette on the floor and stomping on it.

And that’s all that Gigi needs to grab her hand and make their way to the other side of the street, not really thinking before they’re at the reception of a tiny pink chapel, filling out their information, scrambling to find their IDs —luckily, Gigi always has it on thanks to her baby face, and Crystal always has it on her phone case— and the seventy dollars fee. Gigi says something along the lines of, “That’s what I get in tips after doing three shows in one night.”

What happens next is a blur of a man talking and reciting some boring laws, making them sign some papers and asking if they have rings. Before she notices, Crystal is pulling off one of her own rings and offering it to Gigi, and Gigi whines pathetically because she doesn’t have a ring for her. She pays five extra dollars to buy a cheap ring the chapel offers in emergency cases and tells Crystal she owes her.

They get told “You can kiss, uh, the bride,” in a very doubtful tone, and suddenly nude beige and sparkly red clash against each other. Much to Gigi’s surprise, Crystal doesn’t cry at all through the whole thing.

When they come back to the party, holding hands and with their lipsticks smudged, the other queens get a little suspicious about it. When asked about what were they doing, Crystal just replies nonchalantly:

“We got married.”

A decent amount of the cast don’t believe her, because she’s drunk and there’s no way in hell it’s true, they say. But others like Nicky, Jaida and Jackie fully do, wasting no time in scolding them for doing such a stupid thing, but they barely pay attention.

It hasn’t fully sunk in the reality of what they just did, but that’s a problem for their sober selves. Right now, they just make their way into the bathrooms, lock in a stall and kiss lazily until their lipsticks are beyond any touch ups.

[midnights-calm]

Honey and Ginger

Hi there! This fic is base off of two writing prompts by @thecinnamonroll-varian. Hope you enjoy!

--------

Everything was fine. The Saporians had been returned to jail and Corona was still in one piece. Sure, there was the occasional glare or remark about his past, but Varian didn’t think about it too much. 

Besides, he had other things to worry about. Like helping Xaiver organize his herbs, or putting up the new sign in front of Monty and Atilla’s shop. And he can’t forget that he promised to help Dad gather supplies to fix the roof. Not to mention he still had to figure out how to bring back the King and Queen’s memories. He didn’t have time to focus on people’s glares.

*Cough Cough* 

...Or a small cough. It wasn’t a big deal. Just a dry throat that could easily be fixed with a glass of water. Simple. Now what did he do with that book that he said Catilena could borrow?

***

Varian brought his elbow up to cover his cough, pausing in adjusting the sign. He had enough time before heading over to Xaiver’s to drink some water, but the relife had lasted for the trip. He did his best to keep quiet and hide the shivers raking his frame. If the older man notices anything he didn’t say so. But then again he was a bit wrapped up in recounting the tale of a curse involving a cauldron. Once the coughing subsided, Varian adjusted his position on the ladder and returned to his work.

“Hi Varian!” The boy paused and looked over to see Rapunzel and Eugene headed his way. He gave them a wave in return.

“Hey guy! What brings you guys out here?”

Eugene shrugged. “We were just enjoying a stroll and found you. Whatcha up to buddy?”

“Nothing much, Monty asked me to replace his sign.” 

“Didn’t you fix that for him last week?”

“Yeah, but he said that it broke again. So I offered to make him a new one.” Varian shrugged, swiping his sleeve across his forehead. When did it get so hot?

“Varian, are you feeling alright?” Rapunzel asked with a concerned expression.

“Yeah I’m fine!” He chirped. “It’s a bit warm out, but it’s nothing some water can’t solve.”

The couple didn’t look too convinced, but before they could say anything, Monty came out.

“How’s that sign coming, boy?” He snapped.

“A-almost done, sir! I’ve just gotta straighten it out.”

Monty huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well hurry it up. I need you to take a look at one of my displays. It’s been wobbling since your last visit.” 

“I could take a look at it for you Monty.” Eugene chimed in. “I’m sure that it’s a simple fix.”

“No need, the boy here’s probably got everything to fix it himself.” Eugene quirk an eyebrow. The way Monty was treating Varian wasn’t sitting right with him.

“Alright, finished.” Varian called, hopping off his ladder. He immediately stumbled back a step, before shaking his head. A sudden dizzy spell, so what. “Lead the way.”

Rapunzel and Eugene shared a look, before following Varian and Monty.

***

“Are you sure it’s broken?” The alchemist asked. “It doesn’t look like anythings busted.”

“Well Atilla said that his last batch of muffins came out over done, so something must be wrong with it.”

“Or maybe he had left them in for a bit too long?” Eugene offered with an arched brow. After fixing the display, Monty immediately had Varian fix his register, before dragging him over to look at the oven. At this rate, the older man seemed determined to have the boy fix every minor inconvenience in his shop. 

Rapunzel nodded, keeping an eye on Varian. She noticed him coughing more the longer he worked, and letting out small shivers as time passed. Not to mention how his skin seemed to have paled since they had run into him outside. It was really starting to worry her.

The old man huffed. “Preposterous. Atilla would never.”

“Oh, I-I think I found your problem.” Varian said, repressing another cough. He cleared his throat before he continued. “Looks like there’s something blocking the smoke stack. It’s keeping heat trapped in the oven itself. Not to worry though, I’m sure I can get it ou-”

The alchemist quickly brought a hand to his mouth as he broke into another coughing fit. This one was longer and more painful than any of the previous. Rapunzel swiftly moved over  to rub soothing circles on his back as Eugene rushed to fill a glass of water. Monty, on the other hand, just crossed his arms and looked annoyed.

“Don’t be spreading any germs around my shop boy.”

“So-sorry.” Varian gasped in between coughs. “M-must’ve breathed i-in s-some ash.”

Eugene glared at the shop owner, before offering the glass over to the boy. “Here. Drink this.” He said as Varian took the glass. The younger took slow, careful sips letting the cool liquid soothe his throat. Once he emptied about half of it, he lowered the glass and took in a deep breath.

“T-thanks Eugene.” 

“No problem kid.” Eugene replied, flashing a concerned smile. “Are you sur-?”

“Ahem!” Monty cleared his throat, causing Eugene and Rapuzel to scowl. “The oven if you would?”

The brunette let out a frustrated sigh, before collecting himself.“Monty buddy, can’t you see tha-”

“R-right sorry about that!” Varian wheezed, quickly getting back to removing the blockage. Rapunzel felt more concern bubble up to the surface as she kept her hand placed on the Alchemist’s back.

“Varian, are you sure you should be-”

“A-Ah-ha!” He cheered, straightening out and revealing a small piece of tinder. “G-got it!”

“Good to hear. Now I need you to take a look at-”

“Oh would you look at the time! Rapunzel didn’t we have that thing we thought we could have Varian look at.” Eugene interrupted. Rapunzel glanced at him, before understanding crossed her face.

“T-that’s right!” She jumped in. While she didn’t like lying, she knew monty would continue to force Varian to work. “C’mon boys we should probably get going!” 

The princess grabbed both males hands and quickly left the shop. They keep a hurried pace until they’re a handful of streets over. Normally, that distance wouldn’t phase him, but now it has Varian wheezing. Rapunzel stops upon noticing the alchemist’s state. 

“Are you sure you’re okay Varian?”

“Y-yeah…” He gasped, trying to take in as much breath as he could. “Just- uh, just give me a second.”

Eugene wasn’t convinced. He stealthily removed his glove and placed it on the younger’s forehead. Varian flinched away from the contact, but Eugene got what he wanted.

“Kid, you’re burning up.” He stated plainly. 

“I-it’s nothing. R-really, I’m fi-.” Varian tried to say, but another coughing fit stopped him.

“You’re clearly not. Varian please, let us help.”

“No!” Varian shouted, causing all three to flinch. Realizing his mistake, he hurriedly corrected his volume. “I-I mean n-no thank you! Besides, you guys are probably busy anyways. A-and I promised to help my dad.” The couple looked like they were about to argue, when a voice called out from behind them.

“Varian!” The trio turned to see Quirin making his way towards them. “There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you, son.”

“O-oh Dad!” The alchemist stammered. “S-sorry about that! I got caught up helping Monty.”

His father chuckled. “Of course. I forgot that you said you’d be there.” Varian chuckled, before it dissolved into another coughing fit. Quirin’s smile faded, and he quickly closed the remaining distance between them.

“Varian? Son, tell me what’s wrong.”

“N-nothing.” Varian choked. “ t’s just a cough.”

“Varian, please.” Rapunzel pleaded. “You have a fever. Let’s take you back to the castle.”

Quirin flinched, returning his focus back to his son. “Varian, why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”

“Didn’t want to bother you.” The boy muttered. He was very dizzy all of a sudden, and his balance felt off. He shook his head, and groaned. Next thing he knew he was falling forward. Strong arms caught him before his head could meet the ground.

“Varian!” Three voices called out. He tried to pinpoint each owner, but a spike of pain shot through his brain. The last thing he felt before drifting into unconsciousness was someone lifting him up and carrying him someplace else.

-----------------------

So this was four pages in itself. I’ll post the rest later :3c

[didsomebodybreakyourheart]

Jungkook is a trainer at the gym you joined. He's sweet and you hit it off.

Notes: this is dumb and self-indulgent and I'm extremely embarrassed to have written it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you sure you've never done this before?"

"I'm. Sure." you finally managed to get the words out. You were out of breath and dizzy, even the core of your soul was sweating and here comes this kid to question the legitimacy of your un-fitness.

"You're a natural then!" he said excitedly and smiled. He's so pretty. His eyes turned into the cutest little arches with the smile and he had been so sweet since the beginning of the session.

He was cute. So cute you couldn't stop a breathless little laugh from escaping. "Jungkook, I swear, I'd never even gone up the stairs before today. My first time going up stairs was to get here from the first floor." you managed to say in an attempt to make him laugh and actually got a full body laugh out of him.

"Well," he started again, smile still in place, "you're doing amazing." He caught hold of your shoulders and adjusted your position, before looking straight into your eyes with the sweetest, most earnest look and said "please come back next week?"

"Jungkook... I--"

"I mean!" He took a step back "it doesn't have to be this class, just, don't give up on exercise, ok? I barely had to adjust your position at all today and you're having fun so. Uhm. You are having fun right?"

This was officially too cute to handle while trying to hold your entire body weight on your arms. Still. You decided to try and be playful.

"Are you sure you're not trying to bribe me with compliments to come back to you class? Because. If you are, it's definitely working, I'm not gonna lie"

Cue full body laugh again. "Nah I really mean it." He said before raising an eyebrow and getting a dangerous little smile. "But if it gets you to come back to /my/ class, I can step it up."

You shook your head, feeling almost fluatered from that one. "You don't have to do that, Jungkook, I do like this class. You're great at this." You said honestly.

"Thank you." He replied and you questioned when you started to think people's teeth can be cute.

------------------------------

So your first meeting with Jungkook was at his TRX class six months ago. In the following months you really did keep going to his class and you had become more and more friendly with each other.

He was adorable, is the thing. He was sweet and nice and so very into his job that is was inspiring for his clients. He loved being physical so much, you often caught him spending his free time at the gym attending a boxing class or just using the equipment.

Meeting him at the gym when he was off was always fun. He has all his best friends there and yet he always seemed to want to spend time with you when you were there.

Which is how you might have developed a small unimportant absolutely-no-big-deal crush on him. On your gym instructor. Who's four years younger than you. And who's so hot he's off the goddamn scale, let alone being anywhere near what you considered your league.

It's fine. You kept telling yourself. It'll fade away just like every other silly crush you've had. It's fine, it's fine.

-------------------------------

"Oh come on, I haven't seen you in so long"

Adorable. "Jungkook, I am literally in front of you."

"You missed class last week"

"This again?"

"Yes I kno- wait, no, don't let your elbow jut out like that, here, yeah, keep it in line, perfect-- I know you couldn't make it but now you'll be missing two weeks in a row."

"Which is why I'm here now, using the gym equipment with you in the middle of the night."

"This isn't my class, i’m not even working right now!"

"And yet here you are, critiquing my form!" You said with a small breathless laugh "Being friends with a gym bunny is such a pain"

"Elbows in!!" He said and moved to hold your elbows where he apparently wanted them. "And this is literally my career, you can't call me a gym bunny what the hell. I'm a professional."

"A professional pain in the ass bunny" you said as you finished your last set. "Ok I'm done with this, please can we just shower and leave now"

He frowned. "We should war--"

"Please Jungkook, it's the middle of the night, please can we just leave this place."

He laughed and shook his head. "Fine" he said and crouched over your seat, caging you in the machine you had been using with his arms. "Only if you walk home."

He's. So close. Why was he always so close to you. "Noooo, Jungkook, it's late, I hate walking this late at night, I'm--"

He crouched down further "I'll walk with you" he said interrupting you and staring right into your eyes.

"What... No you don't have to do that. It's late for you too."

He smiled and straightened up again holding out his hand. You took it and he pulled you up. "Come on."

------------------------------------

You usually never showered at the gym, feeling way too uncomfortable to shower with other people around, but this time it was late and there wouldn't be any hot water at home so it made much more sense to shower there. Besides you, Jungkook and the receptionist were the only people there at this time of night, so it was really no different than showering by yourself.

It was nice and quiet, since the music that usually plays in the gym during the day had been turned off earlier. You had closed your eyes and were enjoying the feeling of taking all the dried sweat off your skin when you heard it.

"It's been a looong tiiime, without you my friend and I'll tell you all about it..."

You opened your eyes and turned the water off, trying to concentrate on the sound. It was. God. This was Jungkook, wasn't it. You stayed frozen in place trying to keep listening to him sing.

His voice was. Amazing. Not a single mistake in tonality, and so so sweet, it felt like it could reach straight into your heart. You could really only just stand there and listen, feeling softer and softer with each phase he sang. Jungkook was just lovely, wasn't he. He'd been so friendly to you from the beginning, had supported you so much, had made your new venture into exercise so fun and interesting and. And just. He's so beautiful. And so sweet. And he can sing like an angel. Even the very fact that he was singing at all was endearing to you. The fact alone that he was in good enough a mood, having stayed at the gym past his shift to hang out with you and having promised to walk you home, to sing right then was so sweet to you. You really thought you might just start tearing up if you thought too hard about it.

You shook your head and finished your shower, always keeping an ear out for Jungkook's voice.

---------------------------------------

When you finished getting dressed and stepped out of the women's locker room, you found Jungkook waiting for you outside holding two steaming paper cups of tea in his hands. He smiled and offered you one and you wondered if it was possible to die from severe waves of affection for someone.

-----------------------------------------

The walk home was nice. You both lived relatively close to the gym, your own house being about a thirty minute walk from the gym and Jungkook's being just a bit further away.

You were mostly quiet, catching up about work, you complaining about that one coworker that keeps giving you trouble and Jungkook being only slightly annoyed at the gym for not paying him on time.

You desperately wanted to mention his singing, but didn't want to embarrass him in case he hadn't realized you could hear him. In the end you blurted it out.

"I didn't know you could sing like that" you said and waited to gauge his reaction.

"What?"

"At the locker room just now" you explained. "The locker rooms share a wall and it was so quiet, I could hear you" you said looking at the ground. "You sound amazing."

"Aish, that's... Ah... I... Hadn't realized you could hear me, that's embarrassing!"

"No, Jungkook, that's what I'm saying, you sounded beautiful. Your voice is amazing, I almost couldn't believe it was you. You're just so amazing, man, I just. Hope you know thar." you said. God late night conversations made you a hundred percent more expressive, you waited to see how badly jungkook was cringing.

"It's not. Like. It's nothing, I just sing sometimes. When I'm happy or. You know. When I'm feeling good, it comes out. Sometimes."

"Being at your workplace in the middle of the night, past your own shift too, makes you happy?"

"Yeah it's. That wasn't work." He said, avoiding making eye contact with you, keeping his eyes at the ground. "We were hanging out that's. That's not work."

"God, Jungkook, you're so sweet sometimes. I can't believe you're so nice to me."

He looked up at you at that. You gave him a small sincere smile and kept talking. "I really don't think I would have stuck with the gym if it hadn't been for you. Sometimes my only motivation to come to your class is to see you." You said only realising how bad that sounded after hearing yourself say it. "Ahh I don't mean that in a creepy way just. We're friends, right? And seeing you mak--"

"I always look for you." He interrupted suddenly. "I always look for. Uhm actually. ah, can we please just. sit for a bit?" He asked and pointed at the staircase in front of the house you had just walked past. You followed his lead and you ended up sitting next to each other. Your heartbeat had skyrocketed since he suggested it and you felt numb down to your fingertips but you tried to keep a calm facade to avoid making a fool of yourself.

"When you joined " he continued in a quiet voice "I was so excited to have you there. You were so cute and funny and so nice. I liked that you were so honest with me about how inexperienced you were and." He trailed off a bit. He looked so small. His voice was quiet and he kept avoiding eye contact with you. Your heart was almost breaking to see funny, smiley Jungkook look shy and breakable. "People always try to play off like they don't need help but you were so honest and you looked at me like you needed me. And I really liked that." He took a deep breath. "And when you kept coming and getting better and better, -you really are a natural, you took to it so well-" he interrupted his own string of words with that, looking up at you to say it, before turning away again "ah right, so, I thought eventually you wouldn't need me as much or you would get bored of my class but you kept coming. And it made me so happy to have you there. I love talking with you, you always take me seriously and when we're joking around it's still so comfortable. People can be... weird sometimes, when I try to joke around with them. But you always made me comfortable." He trailed off again and hid his face in his palm. "Ahhh I'm sorry, is this too much? This is too much, I'm sorry"

"Jungkook no don't apologize." You tried to confort him and hesitantly put your hand on his shoulder. "I feel comfortable with you too. I still, even months later, I still feel out of place and awkward at that gym without you there. And you know, sometimes it's not even that!" You said and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze to get him to look at you. "Sometimes I just want to see you. Regardless of the context. I just. I like. Uhm. Yeah."

You trailed off and ended up breaking the eye contact you had initiated, second guessing yourself.

Jungkook reached up to the hand you had on his shoulder and took it in both of his own in his lap. He gently played with your fingers. "Your fingers are shaking" he whispered.

"I'm sorry."

"No." He shook his head and squeezed your hand in his. He breathed out an imperceptible laugh. "I'm nervous." he said.

"Yeah me too."

"It's. Sometimes it's difficult for me to not be a try-hard, you know. I take things too seriously and I get in my own head and I... But. I get so excited and happy when I'm with you, it turns all the shitty things in my head off. I don't even get the chance to overthink things when I'm with you."

"Jungkook..."

"I like you." He said in the end and held eye contact with you this time. "I just like you a lot"

He's so handsome. He's gorgeous. And he's so sweet. And young. You felt like crying. "That's sweet, Jungkook. It's nice of you to say." God your eyes really were watering. You took your hand back from his lap and looked away to hide it.

You knew you were confusing him, but hearing the words and knowing he could never ever mean it the way you want him to, was kinf of hitting you right where it hurt. He's too good for you, always had been. You'll be his friend, of course you will, but that's how close people like you are allowed to get to people like Jungkook.

"Don't cry." You heard him say. You felt his arm coming around your shoulder and gently pull you close. "Please don't cry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make your sad."

He's sweet. He's so so sweet. You let him pull you close to him, hiding your face in your hands and letting your head fall on his shoulder.

" I'm not expecting anything from you, I just wanted you to know." He said gently, bringing his other hand up to stroke your hair. "We can just be friends, nothing has to change, please don't cry because of me."

You shook your head. "Jungkook." You managed to say. "Of course nothing will change. You aren't into me. And that's fine, it's fine I just" you paused "I really do like you. So much. So so much."

He pulled back at that, seeming startled at the confession. he felt him take a moment and shake his head as if to gather his thought before crouching down to touch his forehead to yours. God you'd never been this close to him and you like him so much. He's so warm. You wished you could stay like this, with his arms around you and his sweet voice in your ears forever.

"Hey, shh. Come on. Baby. Shh, it's ok." he said, the pet name startling you out of your thoughts for a second. He noticed. "Come on, please don't ll be like this. Please, baby, can you show me your pretty eyes? Hey. " He sounded lighter, less small and shy but instead closer to his usual self. "You just made me so happy, telling me that you like me, baby, why are you crying now? Come on." He tried to pull your hands away from your face and you let him. He gently placed his hand on your neck. "Hey. There you are."

You smiled weakly. "Hi, Jungkook."

"Do you really like me?" You nodded and he smiled wide and so so handsome. "Ahh you're making me so happy. Why are you sad?"

"Jungkook. People who look the way you do, don't "like" people like me."

"Gross, stupid looking guys don't like gorgeous adorable girls?" He said with a confused frown. Handsome. So handsome. You like him so much.

"Jungkook, don't."

"Hey." He started and put your hair behind your ear. "The first thing I thought when I found you in my class for the very first time was how gorgeous you were." He sounded so sincere. He can't mean it, of course he can't, but he's so sweet your heart aches with it . "You gave me all of your attention, you followed all my instructions so well. You kept looking right at me. Focusing on everything I was doing. I kept showing off in that class." He laughed. "It was so obvious, my friend gave me so much shit for it. But I wanted to keep your eyes on me.” he shrugged “In the end i was so excited to see how good and nice and funny you were, I couldn't keep it up. But, baby, sometimes when I catch you looking at me, it feels like my blood turns hot."

"Jungkook..."

He shook his head. "Do you really not know? Being close to you right now, having you in my arms... Baby, I wish I could keep you here forever."

He's so close. You reached up and touched his hair and he turned his head and kissed the palm of your hand softly. "Please, baby" he whispered.

Feeling numb you reached up again and crossed your arms behind his neck. He felt so strong and solid. You lightly pulled him even closer, your chest touching his now. You brought your face close to his softly nuzzling at his cheek, tracing your lips on his skin. You felt him exhale shakily.

He moved both his hands to the side of your waist, touching at your ribs with a gentle controlled force, like he'd been holding back. Like he's still holding back. You want him so much.

"Baby" he whispered, his voice sounding shaky and just a touch of desperate. You could feel his whispers on your skin.

"Shhh, baby, I know" you whispered back. You started kissing his cheek with tiny dry kisses, just a press of your lips against him. In return, he snaked his arms around your waist and pulled, bringing your chest even closer to his. His palms were open, fingers spread wide on your body as if he was trying to touch as much of you as he could. He turned his face to the side, so that his nose was touching yours and you felt his breath right on your mouth. He angled his face towards you and his lips nudged yours. You followed his movement and did the same, your bottom lip catching on his own top one. You felt his breathing stumble and you did it again more deliberately this time. You kissed his top lip and he made a frustrated noise. He moved one hand behind your neck, holding you still and finally, finally, kissed you for real.

He leaned back on the wall behind him and used his hold on you to pull you on top of him as if you weighed nothing. He's so strong. His chest was so hard and solid, you wanted to keep touching him forever.

Feeling breathless and realising this was way too much to be doing in public you made a small noise and pulled back just enough to look at him. "Fuck, Jungkook, this is." you laughed. "Fuck." You kept laughing and after catching his breath he laughed with you.

"Why are we laughing, baby?" He asked between giggles and you shook your head.

"I'm just happy. And emotional." You said and hugged him close to you, burying your face on the side of his neck. "Jungkookie, I'm so happy."

He just laughed and stroke your back. "I'm happy too. But also. We're making out in public on some poor stranger's doorstep so." You laughed harder, but he was right, you had to move. You pulled out of his arms and he frowned so you ducked back in to give him a small kiss on the cheek again.

"Come on, baby, we have to move." You said with a smile and got up. He didn't. "Come ooon, Jungkook, move!" You said with a laugh. He smiled at you and extended his arms for you to pull him up. He's so cute. You pulled him up and he followed the forward movement to hug you again. You hugged him back with your hands around his waist.

"Baby." He just said and gave you a chaste kiss on your cheek. "You'll be with me now, yeah?"

You shook your head. "Ah Jungkook has anyone told you you're adorable?" You squeezed him tight. "Yes, baby, I'll be with you now."

[monster-noises]

under a cut cause Idk how long this is gunna be... (hint... it’s Long) CW: confusing trans stuff, surgery mention,  there’s nothin graphic and it doesn’t get Too Heavy so don’t worry

I have such a.. weird relationship with my body and my gender and change and I am so frustrated with it right now...

In case you hadn’t.. guessed from my highly unspecific cryptic references over the last few days I was just lucky enough have had top surgery on the 10th, which is something I’ve been waiting five years for and I’m so relieved it’s finally happened at least theoretically my real emotions are much more complicated and far less... elated I don’t like change, especially sudden, abrupt, change. It’s not fun, it’s hard to process, and it’s always incredibly stressful. And top surgery is a Big Permanent change to my Permanent Singular Human Body. I can’t go back now, my bodies now different than it has been from the body it was for over a decade. All familiarity with it stops here and needs to be rebuilt from 0. And my brain doesn’t care if it /knows/ it’s the right decision for my happiness long term or my quality of life, that’s!!!! too much!!! it’s too much!! I can feel nothing but looming distress and dizzying discomfort! I had.. similar fears and worries about regret and dissatisfaction just before going on T. I was /terrified/ it wasn’t going to be the right choice for me, the shaky impermanence of my identity up to that point made me worried I would start T and “phase out” of “being trans” and it would be too late (turns out, a shaky impermanent sense of identity is a symptom of being Trans and not out to yourself, who woulda’ guessed?) I would have changed (read: damage) what,at the time, was a perfectly reasonable body and I wouldn’t be able to go back. Five years on those fears seem Ridiculous, I was miserable, I was uncomfortable in my body and could not relate to it at all! And now I’m able to feel (somewhat shaky, but definitely much more present) confidence in my appearance, and the face in the mirror gets less and less foreign as that chasm that so long separated me from myself grows smaller and shallower. But I had five years to slowly adjust to the changes brought on by T as they appeared one, maybe two at a time. And only in the last year or two have they really settled into a human vision that I can call “The person I thought I would become as a child” Top surgery is much more...immediate There is not years-long period of slow steady changes until one day you look in the mirror and realize “Oh.. when did he finally get here?” it’s rapid, and all at once, one day that changes everything in a small two hour window. So suffice to say... my brain is not Elated, or relieved, or excited, or euphoric, or any of the other emotions people relate to their top surgery. Instead  have a mundane toiling knot in my gut that I’ve somehow done something very wrong. I remind myself I haven’t, I remind myself of all the things I’ll finally be able to do, the things I’ll be able to feel comfortable doing again, the ways it will make my life easier, that last tiny leap across the crack in the earth to join my body and my person, and I remind myself that “The way things have always been, they were fine, you were fine, you didn’t need this” is completely untrue, and is something we will see stronger in retrospect than we do now. I still can’t shake it though. The damnable feeling that something has gone wrong. I think that has a lot to do with my issues with change but also the fact that there is a long drawn out recovery process that has so far proven to be uncomfortable and miserable does not make the awaited feelings of gender euphoria come any faster. I think once this fucking binder is off, I don’t have tape and gauze all over my chest, I don’t have to sleep on my back and grit my teeth through the ensuing back and hip pain, and I can just live and get used to things being the Way They Are Now, the euphoria will come, just as it did with T, or when I cut my hair, or changed my name and pronouns, those thoughts of “But things are fine, sure it’s uncomfortable sometimes but you don’t /need/ to change” will be replaced with “you made the right choice, you chose to live” but I’m not there yet and if I’m being honest with where I am right now I’m.... kinda miserable in a very different way than the subtle pervasive misery of my specific experience with dysphoria but none the less I’m not... happy not yet I think I need to mourn? is that... would that be accurate? do you mourn the loss of something you didn’t want? that you distinctly felt as your body betraying you when they first appeared? that you wished you wouldn’t get, that maybe you’d be the exception and you wouldn’t have to deal with? (all very real thoughts I had as a 9 year old going shopping for a training bra) can you.. mourn that? I wish I could just.. have the text book experience, wake up post surgery and cry tears of joy and relief. say “yes please” when the nurse asks me if I want to see my chest for the first time and grin at the new beautiful home that’s been crafted for me. Feel giddy and euphoric and proud as I go through the healing process, answer every “how do you feel?” from caring friends and relatives with an earnest “fantastic!” but instead I have a quiet murmured “not yet” to a now slightly confused nurse, no smiles, no big celebrations, an ever building tension about the final reveal, feigned enthusiasm when responding to the texts and phone calls (though I don’t have the feign too much, I can be truly enthusiastic about the fact I am in almost no pain, which has been brilliant, thank you body, for that at least). A disjointed experience that I don’t understand. It’s all very... isolating. And I feel like I can’t talk about it because it’s not dripping with the expected celebratory tones, it’s not even like... just a quieter experience, it’s genuinely kinda sad. And how do you talk about that? how do you expect people to react to that? “Hey everyone! I got this thing I’ve been waiting over half a decade for at long last! but I feel like shit about it right now! come back in 2-4 months when I’ll have settled into it and we can celebrate then!” That’s a great way to invite people to try and talk to you about things that they don’t understand and you don’t know you can explain even to people who Might. I’m worried about my final reaction to the big reveal, which will probably be tomorrow as I take the binder off to wash myself as best I can without gettin’ the gauze wet. I have a feeling I’m not going to react at all, I’ve never been one for big emotional reactions even without all the weird other shit going on, but I would like to feel... something. Ideal, some kind of joy, okay.. maybe only some kinda joy, I think breaking down crying would suck pretty bad. Regardless, I’m not looking forward to my big reveal moment reaction being a Neutral Head Nod. At least I won’t have to perform it for anyone. Being trans is weird and hard and I want to crawl into a cocoon for the next six weeks please and thank you.