#as long as Carlos can make his fiancé whatever food he wants to I’m happy 🤣

[guardian-angle22]

Ok so I wanted to address TK's "issue" with spicy food. I really don't think he has an issue with spicy food. I know that kills the ADORABLE theory of Carlos ordering milder food so he can share it with TK. But here's what I've come to:

In 1x04 TK has no issue with Paul's spicy rigatoni (he grabs a spoon and samples it before they sit down to eat and at the table he was enjoying some large bites there, even talking with mouthfuls).

In 3x12 when Sadie adds the chili oil to their pho, I think she intentionally added more oxy to TK's and then added more chili oil to cover up the taste (as a former addict you really do know what oxy tastes like) and in something like pho, the taste would've come through. I don't think she drugged Carlos as much or needed to add as much chili oil to his. I think she wanted to get TK out of the way because I believe she knew Carlos was going to eventually see her on the security footage.

This is just what I've picked up on, and regardless, if TK's tolerance for spice is low, I still love seeing them share their food. I was kinda hoping we saw it when Owen brought the Chinese food over, too.

I definitely don’t think he is as bad with spicy food as some fandom makes him out to be, that’s for sure. 🤣

I agree with his pho intentionally having more chili oil in it too. Personally, I only ever took that scene to mean he couldn’t handle as much spice as Carlos simply because of Carlos’ teasing line about being a lightweight. It just came across to me as something they had joked about before. I’d say his spice tolerance was mid range - room for improvement but not at Judd level of his “Scottish/Irish constitution rejecting all things cayenne” 🤣

I feel like this is similar to the ~TK can’t cook~ thing within fandom. Technically we don’t have confirmation of that other than never seeing him cook and then the adorable look Owen gives him in 1x9 when asking what TK was going to do about food if he left. But people seem to enjoy having it as a head canon about him. and tbh both him not being able to cook and him having a basic white boy palette seem harmless enough head canons to me that I don’t mind whichever way people want to view them.

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “smells like teen spirit”. Back in Auradon. At Evie’s house. Mal’s in the kitchen making party food. Uma’s fighting a loosing battle with the swivel stool. And Celia’s sitting on the counter)

Celia: ok. I’ll bite. Why Harry. Out of all the idiots, all the boys, and Gil, that you could have chosen. Why Harry?

Uma: hm? Shit. Fuckin’. Crappy chair. What now

Mal: I can get you a proper chair if you like

Uma (slamming her palm down on the counter): I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY KITCHEN FURNISHINGS!!!! Ow

Mal: ok, dude. Say it. Don’t spray it.

Uma (sounding like Sideshow Bob): urgh. (Normal voice) What were you saying Ceels?

Celia: why. Harry.

Uma: he’s a good employee. Does what I say, when I say it, without argument

(Her sister and cousin look unconvinced)

Celia: you wanna tell or can I? Or if you’d prefer we can go full on Greek muse

Mal: ha. And let halfwit Harry be happy? Yeah, no, don’t think so

Uma: yeah I’m lost

Celia: toi, ma chère soeur, tu aimes le pirate

Uma: slander and blasphemy

Celia: well it’s true. Wether you like or not. You “wuv” him

Uma: you’re wrong. Mal, tell her she’s wrong

Mal: I can’t, I’m cooking. (She clears her throat) Coughshe’srightthoughcough

Uma: low blow. Even for you.

Celia: you know it. (She starts humming the “in a tree” song)

Uma: must she use that insipid song?

Mal: she’s your little sister. So yes.

Uma: I’m not, you know, with Harry

Mal: I am really not the one you should be talking to about this. If I had my way he’d be staring down the business end of a jet propeller.

Uma: yeah. You’re right. Got anymore booze?

Mal: open bar cuz, open bar.

Uma: thanks

(She reaches for a new bottle and promptly falls off the swivel stool)

Celia: HAHAHAHA!!!! Called it

Uma (popping up from the floor): I have to go

(She heads for the gazebo)

Mal: if I were you I’d go after her and knock her off the trail.

Celia: meaning you’d turn her away from Hook.

Mal: yep.

Celia: luckily for her, I’m not you.

(She gets off the counter and heads in Uma’s direction. Then she stops and turns around)

Celia: by the way. Where are Dizzy’s folks?

Mal (looking very uncomfortable): uhhhh (her eyes flit to the ceiling)...asleep...?

Celia: eh they deserve after the day they’ve had.

(Celia leaves Mal my long about Lamborghini’s, Doug’s shirt and throttling Evie, and goes to her sister)

Celia: hey

Uma (taking a swig of whiskey that empties half of the bottle): what?

Celia: just checking up on you

Uma: I’m not. It doesn’t exist.

Celia: yeah, yeah, I know. But if it worked

Uma: I am not like them. And you know I’m not. I’m (she takes another swig, emptying the bottle completely) independent

Celia: yeah the thing about they is well.

(This is when “miss independent” happens. After the song Mal poofs in)

Mal: Jay phoned. They’re just coming up to the house.

Celia: about time

Mal: oh and Uma, que pensez-vous de la livraison de Harry dans une boîte d'allumettes?

(Uma blanches and poofs to the front of the house. Mal bursts into cackles)

Celia: I hope you’ll still find it funny when you’re eating your meals through a straw.

Mal: ahh it’ll be worth it. C’mon kid

(They troop through the house and end up meeting Devie at the bottom of the stairs. Mal flings her arm over Celia’s eyes)

Mal: oh look. They’ve finally emerged from the nest (telepathically) Doug your buttons are disordered. Evie, my dear sister, you might wanna charge into your own clothes instead of Doug’s shirt

(They both look red faced and proceed to make the changes)

Mal: that’s better. (Verbally) lets go then

(Once outside they wait for the others. Jaylos, gilonnie and Jane walk up first)

Mal: where’s Ben. You said you found him

Jay: I also said I had a surprise for you

Jane: oh god tell me you didn’t

Gilonnie and Carlos: he did

Jane: fucking cats

Mal: cats? What about cats?

Jay: not cats. Ben.

Mal: uh-kay

Jay: 🎶come on out Ben🎶

(Ben poofs in. Mal promptly squeals in surprise)

Mal (euphorically, Unser her breath): it’s just like cats

Evie: ladies gentleman and pirates. I give you the acting queen of auradon

Mal: oh blow it out your ass sis or I’ll tell them about you’re last wardrobe choice

Evie: I’ll shut up

Lonnie: now that the king and his fiancé are safe. There’s something I’ve been waiting a year to do. You’re Uma yeah?

Uma: yeah

Lonnie: awesome

(She launches herself at Uma and tackles the sea witch to the ground)

Uma: what the fuck!

Lonnie: what’s your problem with Mal anyway? Huh? Is it that she’s more powerful then you? Or that she got away first? Oh don’t worry. I know what she did. And I don’t care. That’s who she was not who she is. But you did what she did. And you did worse. You were angry. And you lashed out at the first person you could. So how are you any different

Uma: get this crazy bitch offa me!

Mal: Lonnie! Lonnie, we’re cool now! So if could I uh hehe?

Lonnie: really? Well alright then.

Ben: got it all out of your system?

Lonnie: mostly. Might be some residual anger that’ll present itself at an inopportune time. But for now I’m ok.

Mal: cool. How about we get you a drink?

Lonnie: appletini?

Mal: more then doable. Let’s get you inside, Evie wipe that smirk off your face, and get you a nice appletini on the rocks yeah? (Lonnie nods) yeah...

(Mal and lonnie go in. Ben approaches Uma)

Ben: I’m sorry about her. She kinda got left out last year and today’s been awful for everyone concerned. She just snapped

Uma: don’t make allowances for her kid ok? I don’t make allowances for Harry

Carlos: no, of course not, you just let him get away with blue murder

Uma: don’t you have a genie to be cowering behind?

Carlos: not after the mirror, no. But I could repeat the process if you like? (Uma shuts up) good

(Jaylos go into the house. Uma turns around and looks at Jane who is not impressed)

Uma: hey, which one are you

Jane: I don’t want to talk to you. You enslaved my mother. And you boyfriend looked at me like I was food

(She follows jaylos into the house. Evie is tight lipped with barely contained glee)

Evie: today has been raining shower of crap but it’s gotten so much better in the last half hour

(Dizzy walks up to them followed by Hades, Elsa and the Hooks)

Dizzy: grandpa wouldn’t let jay keep Harry in a matchbox

Doug: awww honey, but you know what, there are mountains of cupcakes on the buffet table in the kitchen. Why don’t you go and show Celia?

Dizzy (turning to Celia): now you’re gonna see Wendy kinda magic I can do

(The two head inside)

Doug: I’m gonna head to the garage. You go inside, enjoy the party

Evie: meet me when you’re done?

Doug: goes without saying

(Devie leaves the patio, leaving Ben, Gil, Uma, Hades, Elsa and the Hooks)

Ben: I need to change, starting to feel chilly. Gil could I borrow some of your clothes? I’d poof but I knibda want time to think

Gil: sure

(The two brothers head inside)

Elsa: you haven’t lived until you’ve had my daughter cooking. And I’m starving so I shan’t keep you

Hades: I’ve heard only good things about my daughters cooking. So I’ll join you

Elsa: perfect(.)

(The two head inside)

Uma: tension much?

Cj: typical case of biological father vs adoptive mother both trying to assert their place in the child’s life

Harriet: huh?

Cj: pissing contest. You know what? You three head in. I just remembered something

(She heads to the garage where Doug’s pulling a motor engine in and out of a hole in the ground by a metal chain)

Cj: so you’re the half dwarf who grievously injured my brother

Doug: I stabbed Harry in the dick as he was trying to kill me. Also. It’s been a year. Get over it already.

Cj: a Hook doesn’t forget. Nor do they forgive.

Doug: you know there’s a subdivision of Eton here. I’m sure you’d be able to get a scholarship

Cj: hah. Boys club. And besides. When this is all over I’m going back home and doing away with my father.

Doug: yeah, sure, whatever. Now are you going to stand there gawking like a haddock or are you going to leave me to my own devices?

Cj: I should like to see what happens when the chain breaks or you’re strength gives up.

Doug: won’t break. Dwarven titanium. Magic.

Cj: I know what dwarven titanium is. I’m not as uneducated as the remaining plebs on the island

Doug: yeah. I know. I read your file. (He puts the engine down) I also know that you’re James Hook’s least favourite child. I know who your cousin is. And I know that you’re allergic to vinegar. Which is rather depressing since that’s the only readily available condiment on the island besides rock salt. Don’t mess with me kid. I’m the major-domo.

Cj: so you’re the hornbill to the maneless leonine. Alright then. If you’re do intelligent. Tell me. What goes through your mind when you’re face to face with the sister of the man you viciously attacked and left for dead?

Doug: of course he told you that. I don’t leave the numbskull for dead. Elsa, Merida and I delivered him to the ship and Uma revived him.

Cj: they wouldn’t lie. Not to

Doug: each other yes. But everyone else is fair game. Believe what you wanna believe. I’m going inside to make my kid a snack. I make a mean pb&j. Oh. And I’m not scared of you Miss Hook. I lived through my worst nightmare today so you’re of little to no consequence to me. And stay away from the cars. I’ll know if you don’t.

(He leaves her looking slightly shocked and runs into Mal on the patio bench. She’s holding a sandwich)

Mal: blt?

Doug: beef instead of bacon?

Mal: baloney. Fried on one side, salted on the other. Minced tinned tomatoes. Iceberg lettuce. I know my friends lunch orders.

Doug: you’re a marvel Mal

Mal: not really. I just cook when I’m nervous. Or bored. Or worrying. Or planning a party. Which in this case was all of the above.

Doug: ah. You covered (she hold up a beer bottle) naturally. Wanna sit

Mal: sure. I’ve been on my feet for most of the day

Doug: I’ve been thinking

Mal: yeah?

Doug: oh god this is gonna be difficult. I know you’ve made up your mind and Ben, Jay, everyone, won’t hold it against you if you choose not to. But I think it’s time

Mal: time for what?

Doug: to. Start helping

Mal: oh boy. Ok look. I get it. I do. I get it. But we tried. I tried. And came back with produce in my hair. We all did

Doug: that was six months ago. And besides. (He pulls her off the bench and has her face the window). Look. Vk and Ak. Somewhat peacefully. Coexisting. All because you kept a handle on things when everything else had gone crappy

Mal: eh. Though my cousins about to pelt my sister with apples. Hey jay? Could you? Thanks. What’re you suggesting bud?

Doug: start off with FaceTime. Say once a month Ben FaceTimes you when he goes to the island. And work your way up. It could work

Mal: my being rhere would grind everything to a halt. They’d be focused on me and not on Ben

Doug: true. But you have got to step up some more. You can’t hide behind the curtain forever

Mal: I know

Doug: come on

(This is when “collision of worlds” happens. After the song Mal turns to the party still going on inside)

Mal: I’ve been an ass haven’t I?

Doug: no, not an ass. Just yourself

Mal: somehow that doesn’t make me feel any better. I suppose I should go talk to him

Doug: you do that

Mal: before I forget. (She tackles him in a bear hug). Thank you. Now I’ll go.

(She poofs into Gils room where Ben is currently trying on a pair of aquamarine trousers with yellow braces)

Mal: you know if I had my way, that’d be all you’d have on

Ben: if you had your way, I’d still have the tattered bike pants on

Mal: touché. But why the 13th Doctor cosplay? And more to the point, why Gil’s 13th Doctor cosplay?

Ben: well I did just spend two hours traipsing through the forest, half naked, accompanied by, among others, your birth father and adoptive mother. So I feel like I should cover up a bit

Mal: fair is fair. Speaking of. A few questions. Who did it to you? Why did they do it? Can I kill them? And is it like my dragon form or is it a one and done deal?

Ben: my father, your birth mother and Chad. To get rid of me. Yes you can. And yes I can.

Gil: Harry ran his mouth and Ben switched and chased him for half a mile

Mal: he’s a moron. Oh and by the way. I sorry about the boys.

Gil: I know. I still don’t get why Adam did that

Ben: he’s a heartless up his own ass opportunistic bastard. That’s why

Mal: finally letting loose with the swears I see

Gil: “bastard” is nothing. My baby brother right here gave Adam the mother father uncle and aunt of all call outs. He even used the “count without the O” word

Mal: I’m impressed

Gil: it was amazing. I’m so proud

Ben: shoulders buddy, shoulders

Gil: right, sorry, my bad

Mal: before I forget. I made an omelette station downstairs. And a smoothie bar.

Gil: see ya!

(He rushes downstairs leaving bal alone)

Mal: so I’ve been thinking about the wedding

Ben (putting the coat on): yeah?

Mal: mhmm. I’m guessing we have to have it in the cathedral cause yknow, royalty, but we can still plan the reception yeah?

Ben: correct? What were you thinking

(Mal clicks her left hand and brings her arm down, shifting them to a new location in the process)

Mal: were you there your post coronation rave. Bookends and all that

Ben: oooh I like it

Mal: I’ve even thought of the song for our dance

Ben: I think I know where you’re going with this and I love it. And I’m in a tux. (He feels the top hat) with bunny ears. Huh

Mal: from my dream last night so was this

(She now has the purple Aurora dress on)

Ben (impressed): wow

Mal: not to fancy. But not too modern. And I’m wearing flats so stent dwarfed in comparison by me

Ben: well I could always activate my beast paws.

Mal: might give your mother a heart attack

Ben: true. True

Mal: well then your highness. Shall we practice?

Ben: yes we shall

(This is when “at the beginning” happens. After the song the school exterior melts back into the spare room. Mal’s eyes flash fuchsia and she collapses into Ben’s arms)

Ben: woah! You alright?

Mal: yeah. I just gotta talk to my father

(She switches back into her previous outfit and trots back downstairs where Evie’s hosting a singalong. This is when “better when I’m dancing” happens. After the song she walks outside)

Mal: dad I need a word. You too Uma. You’ll want to see this. (Once they’ve sat down she hands a scrap of paper to hades). Does this mean anything to you?

Hades (Jesse L Martin): “when the day becomes the night...no time for tea...before my final rhyme...return home....turn back the hands of...”. It’s one of the Cheshire cats forsaken riddles. Why do you ask?

Mal: I was talking to Ben just now and everything turned dark fuchsia for a sec, like when my eyes when I use magic, and I heard Doctor Facillier say that in my head. It’s not a prophecy is it?

Hades: no. The last prophecy I remember hearing was the Fates telling me I’d rule the cosmos. Followed by Herc beating me. Why would you think it’s a prophecy?

Mal: uhhhh

Uma: no. NO! YOU DO NOT GET THAT AS WELL AS EVERYTHING ELSE! I REFUSE TO LET THAT HAPPEN

Hades: I’m afraid I’m not following

Mal: I’ve got all the hallmarks. Powerful parents. Double heritage. Annoying brother. Really it should be Ben though. Or you cuz

Uma: really? Me?

Mal: yah. You’re much better qualified

Hades: haha. It’s funny. You’ve spent so much time trying to kill her. And she still think you’re better than her

Uma: what’s your point?

Hades (smiling smugly, he’s eyes glowing bright yellow): be very careful about who you piss off my dear

Uma: don’t test me uncle

Hades: and don’t test ME niece

Mal: >snickers<. Sorry. Anyway. So rhere really isn’t a prophecy built around me?

Hades: nope. not even close

The cousins: oh thank god

Hades: would it really be so bad if it were though?

Mal: most likely yes

Uma: she doesn’t even have the cajones necessary to get kids off the island. Why would she be so sort of cliched chosen one

Mal: HEY! You know why I don’t go. I told you why I don’t go. My reasons are my reasons. And you don’t get to say anything to me after the crap you’ve pulled to one up me when I personally couldn’t care less

Uma (oh so very smug): face it cousin. I’ve got moral high ground in this one

Mal: and you had face it “cousin”, that you have a thing for my brother

Uma: not really no seeing as I hate him and he’s only into guys...

Mal: not the fun one. The rat one

Uma (experiencing face freeze): huh?

Mal: well Harry’s my brother and you’re my second cousin which means he’s also your second cousin. And if I read the signals right possibly your almost stepbrother

Uma: I’m gonna kill you

Hades: no you won’t niece. It doesn’t matter. You knew him long before your father and I -ahem- “joined” together and your Olympian dna only counts the parents with said dna. You’re not related to my second son, Uma. And I have absolutely no intention at all of claiming you as my adoptive daughter. So, to use the modern turn of phrase, you’re golden. Is that better

Uma: sort of

Mal (at the same time as Uma): dammit.

Hades: good. Now that that’s all settled. Shall we rejoin the party?

Uma: in a minute

Hades: oh Kronos what is it now?

Uma: did you bring me out here just to say that Harry’s my cousin? Or to talk about the prophecy that isn’t?

Mal: first one. But you pressed my buttons so I wanted to throw you from your comfort zone

Uma (nodding): alright. I respect that. HOWEVER! Don’t look at me like that dragonhide. However. The fact remains you’ve gotta grow a pair and get out there. Your own feelings be damned. It’s not about you

Mal: When has it ever been about me?

Uma: butterfinger boy’s made his whole vendetta about you lousing up his home

Mal: thank you Uma, thanks for the help

Hades: ooh. I know what to do

Mal: smite Harry and save us from his unneeded existence?

Hades: no. You need a pep talk

Mal: no. Please don’t

Uma: actually. I wanna hear what he has to say

Hades: thank you Uma. But you probably won’t like what I have to say

(This is when “who I am” happens)

[hannahmcne]

Warm - Oneshot

"To Evie and Doug!" Jay announced, filling the room with his loud, boisterous voice. Everyone winced but held their glasses aloft. They sat on four matching couches that all faced a round coffee table in Belle's, now Ben's library, in pairs. Ben with Mal, Carlos with Jane, Jay with Lonnie, and Evie with her new fiancé Doug. "For finally tying the knot after waiting all these years." Jay finished.

"To Evie and Doug!" Everyone toasted, holding their glasses aloft and then taking a sip in their friend's honor.

"About time." Ben mumbled under his breath. Mal snorted in agreement as Carlos rolled his eyes and nodded beside her. Evie was finally taking a short hiatus from Evie's Four Hearts and her rigorous business life to marry Doug. She was the last person in the group despite being the only one of them who'd wanted to get married when first arriving in Auradon. Ben put his arm around Mal as she leaned back into his grasp, smiling a little behind the group at the portrait of them that hung above the fireplace with Belle and Adam, the former rulers, to the side. It wasn't her favorite image of them – they were both in their crowns and just the picture of the immaculate skirt made her itch – but it was still nice to see them hung up in such a professional, permanent way.

"I think we made a good choice." Evie hummed, fluttering her fingers a little bit in the pretty chandelier light from far above their heads. They were gathered at the palace, where they usually met because it was always clean, very big, and it was hard to convince the guards to let the royal couple go anywhere else. Plus, they could have servants fetch whatever food they felt like eating.

"Me too," Doug agreed. "Though I still can't believe Jay and Lonnie hitched before us."

"Hey," Jay scoffed, leaning down and taking Lonnie's hand. "When the time is right, the time is right."

"Agreed." Ben hummed. Mal leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. It had been a long day full of meetings and politics and a service project down at East Auradon High, and while she loved catching up with her friends, she was just a bit too exhausted to keep up.

"Do you have any advice about staying in a happy marriage?" Doug asked, mirroring Ben and sliding an arm around Evie's shoulders. The group hummed as one in thought as the fireplace cracked behind them. It was November, and the nights were getting chilly.

Carlos sat up a little, keeping his hand on Jane's knee so he could rub little circles there. "I think conversation is huge for us." He began, looking to Jane as she nodded in agreement. "Jane and I are both busy at Auradon Prep, so whenever there's a moment for conversation it's really, really impactful."

"Not just conversation, but also doing things together." Lonnie agree. "Jay and I are both super busy with our sports and our diplomatic lives, so whenever we chop out time for each other, it's a really big and rare thing for us." Doug and Evie nodded as if this made sense and turned to the last couple in the group. Ben squeezed Mal's shoulder, indicating he wanted her to say something. Mal hummed in thought.

"Don't let work get in the way." She advised with a groan, sinking further into Ben's skin as everyone laughed. It was certainly easier said than done, given she couldn't exactly neglect her kingdom, but the advice was still sound.

"I think that Evie will definitely have the hardest time getting away from work out of all of us, aside from Ben and Mal." Doug laughed, rolling his eyes and putting his hand down on Evie's. Mal nodded with a grumble and curled into Ben's side. Her work would hunt her down if she didn't do it, or at least get her name slathered in the tabloids. The group fell silent. Mal exhaled, curling her fingers into Ben's shirt a little as she debated on whether or not she liked Ben's new cologne. It was spicy and almost smelled a little like smoke. She was just taking a deep breath when Ben jumped and jolted away from her.

"Ow!" He shouted a little, drawing his arm back from around her and shaking his hand as if he'd been shocked. "You burned me!"

"What?" Mal frowned, drawing back from him in confusion. She glanced at her hands. She hadn't done anything.

Ben stilled his erratic movements and raised an eyebrow at her. Carefully, he reached out and ran a hand down her bare skin. A frown stretched across his mouth. "Your skin is warm." He told her. "Like, feverishly warm."

"I don't feel warm." Mal protested, running a hand down her own arm. She felt normal.

Carlos leaned forward and put a hand on her shoulder. "Huh." He hummed. "You feel like a heater." Immediately, everyone got up and reached out to touch her. Mal flinched back as her friends raised eyebrows and exchanged glances, running their hands down her arms and patting her shoulders and legs.

"You feel like you just came out of an oven," Evie commented with her eyebrows knit together in concern. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I feel fine." Mal snapped, pushing their hands away. "Now stop touching me!"

Everyone jumped back. Mal leaned into the couch. Ben glanced at her skin suspiciously. "That's so strange." He hummed. "You didn't cast a spell or anything?"

"Why would I?" Mal asked.

Ben unbuttoned his sleeve and rolled up the cuff, revealing an odd red mark where his arm had been around her. Mal's mouth dropped open. "I did that?" She gasped.

"You just flared up." Ben shrugged, still looking puzzled. "It was like you were a stove. You're a little cooler now but holy crap, ow."

"I'm sorry." Mal frowned. "Here, am I still cooling off?" She extended her arm a little and Ben carefully laid a hand on her bicep, ready to rip it away if she flared up again. After several seconds, he shook his head.

"No." He responded. "You've leveled off, but you're still incredibly warm." He pinched his lips together as Mal crinkled her nose.

"Huh." She mumbled and rubbed her hands together before poking him. Ben jumped and wrinkled his nose at her. Then he leaned back into the couch, carefully not touching her, and pulled out his phone. She snorted. "Doing some internet-searching?" She asked. Ben nodded, lips pressed into a thin line, and didn't say a word as he started punching in keywords. "I'm not dying." She told him. "So don't try and start ushering me to the hospital like that one time I had a red mark appear on my throat."

Ben made a face and waved her off, still examining his phone screen.

"Can I feel your skin again?" Carlos asked, wrinkling his forehead. Mal made a face but extended her hand and let him take it. Carlos felt her fingers and shook her head. "That's freaky." He told her. "And you just flared up?"

"And then cooled by like, five degrees." Ben nodded, squinting at his screen and grumbling. "All I'm getting is explosive behavior." He sighed. "Let's try hot…skin…"

"I wouldn't put that in a search bar if I were you," Carlos advised. He pulled out his phone and began searching the web.

"Point taken." Ben sighed. "Sudden Fever..." He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Fairy with a sudden fever." He grumbled.

"Oh, that makes sense. Maybe magic is involved." Evie nodded. Mal rolled her eyes and watched her husband pinch his lips together as he skimmed search results and flipped between pages on his phone. They fell a little silent, waiting for him to find something, and then slowly began to exchange glances. After a few minutes, Mal watched Ben's fingers slow a little. His gaze flicked up to her, then back down at his phone, and then they locked eyes for a few seconds.

"Did you find anything?" She asked, leaning towards him and trying to glance at the screen. Everyone else got up, craning their heads as if they'd somehow be able to twist their necks around to peer over his shoulder. Ben hid his phone from them, shaking his head and pinching his lips together to keep from laughing. He slipped the screen into his pocket and pressed a hand to his forehead, shaking his head and blinking rapidly. "What?" She asked.

Ben ran his hands down his face and a bright, stupid, disbelieving smile spread across his face as he shook his head, glancing surreptitiously over to her. "Was it another conspiracy theory?" Mal asked, shoving his knee a little as a bewildered smile passed across her face. Ben chuckled, shaking his head harder and harder as he pulled his phone back out and let the phone read his facial features so he could unlock it. He put a hand on her shoulder as he leaned over and showed her the screen, carefully blocking the screen from Jay and Lonnie, who were edging closer to the couch's arm. Mal blinked twice at the screen and glanced at Ben as her smile dropped from her mouth into a face of shock. He made sure she had a firm grip on the phone before withdrawing, covering a smile with his hand as Mal pulled her legs up and waved at Jay to sit down.

The page was from the MagicalMoms blog and appeared to be a Question-then-answer type format. The question? "This is my first pregnancy and my husband's grandma was a fairy. I've noticed I'm incredibly, unbearably hot and my average temperature is actually 110.6°. Is this normal for fairy/fae pregnancies?" A list of answers was below. Mal felt her shoulders slump as she read the longest, most liked response.

"YES! Totally normal. I just had my fifth, so I'm very familiar with the heat. I actually have fae blood myself though, so I don't notice it. You must be human, which is why you can feel how warm you are. Most Fae women are oblivious to their own temperature. It's actually the earliest symptom you can show in a magical pregnancy – the moment the embryo implants on the side of your uterus, you're warm, so unless you're alone you'll probably figure it out right away. It's usually an instantaneous thing the moment – or the few seconds – after you become pregnant. You flare up and then you'll remain a space heater until the baby is born. The reason the heat can happen anywhere is because there's a certain amount of time from emission to fertilization to implantation. It can take anywhere from five to fifteen days for implantation to occur, which officially 'begins' a pregnancy. Most other symptoms will show up around month two and three. The only time my husband and I didn't notice right away was because we were on vacation with family when I found out about my third. We stayed in the hot tub for, like, four hours with all the adults, laughing, and then when we went home was when my husband noticed my skin hadn't cooled off yet. You actually have a very low temperature… I think the average is 118.7°, but the highest I've been is 136.3° and the lowest is 121.6°. So it varies! WARNING: 120 degrees is very, very hot! A five-minute exposure will produce third-degree burns. Make sure and do not let little children (Or your big children(Husbands)) fall asleep on you! It shouldn't be dangerous to you(maybe just really uncomfortable). Hope that helps!"

Mal glanced left at Ben, who was still covering his mouth and shaking as he tried to keep from bursting into laughter. She glanced back down at the screen and kept scrolling.

"Gave my husband a second-degree burn after he fell asleep with his hand on my knee… whoops!"

"I dunno if this is common for everyone, but I flare up when the heat first starts. Like, it's really intense heat for the first five seconds. My poor, patient husband had his arm wrapped up the first time it happened because the burn was so severe(We had our arms linked together)."

"Ya, that's normal. Man, I can't even tell you how awkward it is to be at lunch with your GF's and your mom-in-law and they all turn around and start smirking at you bc you're suddenly a million degrees."

Mal turned off the phone and handed it back to Ben, carefully feeling her skin even though she knew, logically, that she wouldn't be able to feel anything. Ben put it back in his pocket, covering his mouth with two fingers as he stared at her, waiting for her reaction. She stared into his eyes for a few seconds and then shook her head. "No comment." She told him. Ben nodded in agreement and turned back to their friends, who were waiting for an explanation. "He found a weird article about the two of us again." She lied to her friends.

Evie hummed. "I found one the other day. It was talking about how Mal had put Ben into a magical sleep and was keeping him underneath the palace while Harry Hook posed as Ben."

Ben snorted and put his head down. His brain was still fried from searching for what could possibly be the cause of Mal's random burst of exothermic energy. Jay and Lonnie laughed though, and Jay slapped his knee. "There was the one I saw at the store the other day – It was about how Audrey had killed Mal and then started pretending to be her so that she could still be with Ben."

"Audrey and I literally haven't been a thing for seven years now," Ben grumbled with a smile still frozen on his face as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "She's married!"

"I have a news story for you right here," Carlos mumbled. He held his phone up a little and let Jane read over his shoulder as he rolled his eyes at the screen.

"Let's hear it." Mal hummed, setting her hands on her knees as Ben ran another hand down his face in shock.

"Magical pregnancies usually involve a sudden rise in body temperature that lasts from the point of implantation until the end of gestation." Carlos read. "A female, especially one with fae blood herself, may find that her resting internal temperature is about 118 degrees, which is hot enough to sustain third-degree burns over longer periods of exposure."

Evie's mouth dropped open and Jay let out a series of unintelligible noises as he pointed at Mal suddenly, whose cheeks turned bright, bright red. Ben covered his face and finally began to laugh hysterically. Lonnie squinted as she tried to figure out what was going on. "Wait, wait, wait!" Jay exploded. "So you got pregnant, like, right there?" He pointed to the couch. "Like, five minutes ago?"

"I don't like this symptom," Mal whispered. Ben was too busy laughing to console her. She covered her face by dipping her shoulders forward and holding a hand underneath her forehead, hiding her eyes.

"Shoot. What are you going to do?" Evie gasped. Doug elbowed her with an eye-roll.

"They're married, E." He snorted. "It's not exactly a horrible thing that Ben's wife of three years is pregnant. It's not like we're all seventeen and she's just lady of the court."

"Just lady of the court?" Jane harrumphed. "But yeah, Evie, they're adults now. Did you forget?'

Evie blinked slowly in a way that illustrated quite clearly that she had, in fact, forgotten. She looked a little shell-shocked. Ben finally managed to straighten up. He leaned over and kissed Mal's cheek. "Well," He sighed, still shaking his head incredulously. "That was excellent timing, I guess."

"No kidding." Mal stared at her arms with a wrinkled nose. "Can we just… not talk about it right now? Ben and I need to talk first and figure out what's going on."

Mal reached over for his hand and squeezed for a moment. Ben let her keep his hand for a few seconds and then pulled it away and waved it to cool it off. "We need to get an abundance of fans and ice packs." He sighed. Jane burst into laughter and doubled over as Mal pinched her lips and sulked. Ben turned to the Fairy Godmother's daughter. "Did you know about this?" He asked.

"No." Jane laughed. "But thanks for tipping me off. And hey, in the future, you guys don't have to come up with any elaborate schemes to tell us."

Mal groaned. "I can't believe that just happened." She sighed. "I think… I might turn in early."

"You okay?" Ben asked, raising an eyebrow. Mal nodded and gave two thumbs-up, though she still looked a little shocked. She got up and walked towards the door of the library. No one said anything until they heard the knob click into place behind her. Then Carlos let out a breath.

"I didn't realize how warm it had gotten around her until she walked away" He mumbled. The remaining seven burst into laughter, nodding in agreement. Jay, Carlos, and Lonnie leaned over to thump a half-beaming, half-embarrassed Ben on the back as Evie, Doug, and Jane let out simultaneous breaths. The entire situation was so surreal that no one even commented on it.

______________________________________________________________

The second time went a little better, if only because they were alone when it happened. Zach was three and they were still the only people in the group with a kid, though rumors were starting to fly that Jane wanted one. She, however, hadn't lit up yet.

Ben's workday had run over with meetings and so he'd walked in late, after Mal had already put Zach down in his nursery by herself and turned in. As he opened the door and pulled his crown off his head with a heavy sigh, he could see his wife's frame curled up in a half-moon shape, facing her side of the bed. Her shoulders were bare, so she'd evidently tried to stay up for him, but running a kingdom and raising a son were just as hard on her as they were on him. Ben set the crown down on his nightstand and leaned over to kiss her left eyebrow, which was facing up. She didn't even stir. Completely gone. Ben sighed.

He shut and locked the door and threw his suit over a chair in the corner. He'd have to send for it to be dry-cleaned tomorrow. He plugged his cell phone in beside his crown and then slipped into bed beside Mal. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled him close to her, hugging her tightly. She didn't stir, which was mostly okay because he was tired anyway. He closed his eyes, buried his nose in her hair, and memorizing the way their skin felt touching each other – even though he'd already memorized it a thousand times in a thousand different ways.

His eyelids were growing heavier and her scent was slowly dragging him down to sleep when Mal let out a little breath that made him open his eyes for half of a second. And, in an instant, he felt like he was on fire. The feeling happened so fast he didn't have time to react to the sudden pain, but then his entire body felt very stiff and very, very warm. A mist was arising from the sheets as the warmth hit the cold air. He lifted his hand up. Even in the dark, he could see dark burns stretching across the skin where he'd been holding onto her, just like a sunburn. He turned his hand around, ignoring the way his skin felt like it had the maneuverability of plywood, and used the back of his hand to feel her skin. It was hot to the touch. Ben sighed and released her. He could hardly move as he rolled back over, carefully avoiding contact with her so he wouldn't have any severe burns in the morning, and stared at the ceiling in something like shock.

She was pregnant. Again. Holy crap. Ben covered his face with his hands and let out a disbelieving laugh as he imagined what his parents would have to say tomorrow morning. Mal would, of course, be suspicious about her own condition the moment that she noticed the burns that were likely covering his neck, chest, arms, and legs. He wondered how she'd react.

The next morning, he found out when he woke to Mal frowning down at him with squinted eyes, examining the angry red heat scars across his chest. "Did you get burned?" She asked, eyebrows knit together.

"You burned me," Ben informed her, raising an eyebrow and carefully prodding her arm.

Mal hit him with a pillow and decided to go back to sleep.

______________________________________________________________

"Five minutes, that's all I'm asking!" Mal demanded as her irate children squirmed in their outfits. Zach was being better than Tyler, but not by much. Her eight year old fidgeted as he stared mournfully at the picnic basket in the far distance and trying to inch away from his mom, who was wrestling with Tyler.

"I don't wanna!" Tyler exploded, eyes flashing and green magic crackling at his fingertips. Mal balled her fists up.

"You have to! For five minutes while the photographer takes a photo of us and then we can go!" She snapped, fixing Tyler's shoe on his foot. "Zach, don't you dare!" She reprimanded him.

"It's not going to be five minutes, mom!" Zach groaned. "It's going to be hours and hours and hours!" He collapsed against the chair he was supposed to be standing by. Mal tangled her hands into her hair and fought back a scream.

"Need help?" Someone asked behind her, setting a hand on her shoulder. Mal whirled around, nearly smacking the person behind her with her hair.

"Yes!" She snapped, shoving Tyler's other shoe into Ben's chest. "You take care of your sons! They're just like their grandmother and I can't handle them anymore!" She stomped her foot at the two boys. Zach's eyes grew wide at being compared to Maleficent and he straightened up a little, looking ashamed.

"Okay, okay, Madame Dragon." Ben laughed. He bent down and put Tyler's shoe on. "Boys, you're stressing Mom out. We need one photo for the history books, and for the portrait in the front hall. And if you want, we can have you stand still for three hours so the painter can paint it live instead of taking a few photos and doing it that way." He gave both boys a stern look and they both let out groans. Mal pinched her fingertips to the bridge of her nose as Ben picked up Tyler in his arms. He kissed Mal's cheek. "It's only another hour, and then you can escape, and I'll take the boys swimming." Ben promised her.

"Escape to where?" Mal demanded. Evie, Jane, and Lonnie were coming up for lunch, but she didn't really see why that was supposed to be a relief. "Lunch and small-talk with your mom and all the girls is not 'escape', Ben. It's a prisoner exchange program. Except one jail cell contains constantly complaining children and the other contains constantly complaining moms." She crossed her arms as Tyler sneezed and lit Ben's shirt on fire.

Ben batted the green flames off his shirt and stamped out the ashes on the ground. Tyler's flames weren't usually dangerous. He frowned and carefully shifted his son away as the small boy whined and pulled at his dress shirt. "Whose bright idea was it to have a son with magical potential?" He asked.

"Not mine." Mal pinched her lips together. "I didn't get a say in either of them." She crossed her arms indignantly.

"You don't want me?" Zach's mouth dropped open and crocodile tears filled his eyes. "I'm sorry I'm acting like Grandma!" He cried as his nose started to run. "I still love you, Mommy!" He wrapped his arms tightly around her legs as Mal's eyes softened, though she looked skyward at his dramatics.

"Oh, baby." She groaned and leaned down to hug Zach. "I didn't say that. I do love you. I'm happy I get to keep my little prince around."

Zach sniffled and wiped his eyes. "But I'm not a prince." He mourned. "I'm just an evil, wicked dragon who's going to spell Charlie to sleep!"

"And… that's a sign we're not going to let you play with Audrey and Chad's children anymore." Ben jumped in, sending a pointed look towards Mal, who nodded in exhaustion. "Listen, sport, keep your head up. Everything's going to be fine. You're going to be awesome. You know, above all else, a good king has to believe in himself, even when things get hard. Don't listen to what people say about Grandma or Grandpa. You're not the Beast or the Evil Fairy. You're you, and you're a great kid." He leaned down and hugged both small kids to him. "But, it would be great if you could not complain about the photo anymore. If it helps, Mom hates them more than both of you combined, and she puts up with it even though she doesn't get to go swimming afterward."

"Mom can't swim." Zach pointed out, wiping the last of his tears away. Mal wrinkled her nose. Of all the things she wished Ben would have never have told their children about her, that was near the top of the list.

"Fine," Ben conceded. "Mom puts up with it even though she doesn't get to maybe have snow cones down at the lake afterward."

"Snow cones?" Zach exclaimed, brightening up and letting a smile break across his face.

"Snow cones?" Tyler repeated, accidentally kicking Mal in the leg as he flopped his feet out while staying attached to Ben's hip.

"Yes, so be good or else we might have to worry about mommy turning into a dragon and burning the snow cone shop to the ground." Mal threatened half-heartedly.

"Is everyone ready?" The photographer called, finishing adjusting the settings on his camera and adjusting for the lighting levels looking out over the lake. Two chairs were set up facing the camera. Mal sighed and looked over to where Belle and Adam had been patiently waiting beside the car, watching Ben and Mal wrestle the two young princes. "Let's start with the boys, do mom and dad, and then do the whole family before our zwei kinder go down to the lake." The photographer suggested, winking at the young boys as they shifted in excitement. Mal exhaled, leaned back against Ben, and ushered the two boys forward to the photographer.

Ben took her hand and leaned down to whisper: "Please don't tell them they're acting like Maleficent anymore." Mal could only sigh and nod in agreement.

The promise of snow cones and swimming combined had finally won them over. Both Zach and Tyler sat still and paid attention as the photographer took photos of them. Mal was proud of Zach especially, since he apparently needed forty-million photos, being the future king of Auradon.

Oh. Wait. She didn't like that idea. Zach would be King one day. Mal squeezed her eyes shut. Thinking of her little boy all grown up and in her husband's place made her heart feel black and sad, and she didn't want to do it ever again.

Taking photos with Ben was nice because he kissed her cheek and held his touch there, and whispered jokes into her ear to make her smile, and her sons were behind the photographer making silly faces to brighten her day. So all in all, it wasn't a bad experience. There were an awful ten minutes where Belle and Adam got their pictures taken and the boys had to be entertained, and then finally they were on to family pictures.

"Now, let's have Mom here and Dad here," The photographer instructed, arranging them on the chairs. "And then little Tyler, do you want to sit on Mom's lap or Dad's lap?"

Tyler stretched his hands out to Mal, and called: "Mom!" Which made her feel a little happier even though she knew he'd be complaining in about forty seconds. Zach sat on Ben's lap, and they all held their best smiles for about thirty seconds while the photographer snapped a shot of them.

"Done!" Zach declared, reaching to unbutton his shirt and bracing his frame to start dashing back to the car for his swimsuit. Tyler started kicking his leg up and dropping it back down against Mal's leg. She pinched her lips but said nothing.

"Woah, champ!" Ben exclaimed, catching Zach's shoulder before he could undo the first button. "We've got to get grandma and grandpa in, now. Remember?"

Zach let out an insufferable groan and collapsed into the dirt. "I want to go swimming!" He complained.

Ben stood up and Belle sat down beside Mal. Adam took up a place behind Belle and Mal, and Ben stood beside his dad. Mal continued holding Tyler, who was still kicking his foot into the air, and Zach took a begrudging place behind Mal, with his hand on her shoulder. As the photographer got behind the camera, Tyler began to squirm, making Mal tighten her hold on him. He kicked a little harder, and his shoe went flying off, landing in the ground about twenty feet away.

"Tyler!" Mal groaned, leaning her head back. Belle laughed and patted Mal's leg in consolation. Mal felt like the queen had no idea what this was like, though. She'd raised one child with beast blood, not two.

"I got it." Ben sighed and left his post to retrieve the shoe.

As he left, Mal felt Adam put a hand down on her shoulder and squeeze it comfortingly. "You're doing great." He told her. "I wish I had video footage of trying to get Ben to sit still for his portraits when he was growing up."

Mal could only groan. She watched Ben pick up the shoe and turn back around, and Tyler squirmed even harder, wanting to be let down. She pulled him tight to her chest and growled. "Sit still!" She demanded.

Suddenly, Belle yelped and ripped her arm and leg away, which had been brushing Mal's side. "Goodness gracious!" She exclaimed. In Mal's arms, Tyler had burst into screams, and angry red and brown marks suddenly covered his skin. Adam cursed – loudly, and a word Mal did not want her children repeating – while Zach yelled in pain and panic and dropped to the ground dramatically at her feet while holding his scorched hand. "Mom's gone dragon!" He yelled. "We're all gonna die!"

'What?" Mal gasped, her arms loosening as Tyler began to scream even louder. She watched Belle quickly take Tyler out of her arms and glimpsed more red marks covering him, exactly where she had been holding him. Her eye twitched, and she turned to stare at Ben, who had watched the scene unfold with a dumbfounded expression.

Adam felt her neck, the closest exposed skin, with his unburned hand. "You're like a furnace." He informed her. "You must be at least twenty degrees warmer."

"Congratulations?" Belle asked, trying to calm her irate grandbaby as Zach rolled over, face-first, into the grass and began to howl with his nose into the dirt.

"I've been burned!" Her eight-year-old wailed. "Mom burned me!"

"What happened?" The photographer asked slowly, staring at the family in confusion. Behind her, Mal watched a blue convertible car pull into a parking slot with three bodies inside of it. One, dressed in fiery pink and orange, jumped out and raced over in concern.

"Why is everyone screaming?" Lonnie asked, gasping for breath as she caught up to Ben, who was slowly coming back to his sense and was beginning to realize that they were in a very public place with two royal children who were screaming about their mother burning them. He dragged a hand down his face slowly and shook his head.

"Go back to the car, Lonnie." Ben sighed, and took a few tentative steps towards Mal, stepping over Tyler, who was hiccupping and fussing about the burns on his body, some of which had tiny little risen bubbles appearing on them. He set the shoe down and offered a hand to Mal. "Are you oka-" He began.

Mal shoved him, hard, and stood up in a flurry. She kicked her shoes off in the grass and stepped over Tyler before making her way to the car. "Leave me alone. I'm done." She declared. Ben watched her go, yanking pins and clips out of her hair and turned back to assess the damage. Two burned hands, one of them on a rather dramatic eight-year-old, one burned hand, and leg, and one very badly burned five-year-old. He sighed and covered his eyes. "Boys, we might have to skip swimming today to, ah, go to the hospital." He carefully took Tyler from Belle and unbuttoned the child's shirt to see how badly the flare had hurt him.

"Mommy burned us!" Zach howled. "She was gonna light us on fire!"

"She wasn't," Ben assured the crown prince. "Listen, Zach, I need you to pay attention for a second. Mommy can't really control that heat. It's something that happens to her that tells her she's going to have another baby."

Zach's eyes bulged out. "Right now?" He exclaimed.

"No, no." Ben shook his head. "Not for a few more months. I'm sorry you got burned. Mommy didn't mean to burn you. That's just her body's funny way of saying she's going to have a baby. It happened with both you and Tyler too."

Zach sulked and looked down at the red marks on his skin. He hadn't gotten it too bad. It just looked like a very small and oddly-shaped sunburn. "So, Mom's going to have another baby, like Aunt Evie just did?"

"Yeah." Ben sighed, and carefully redid Tyler's shirt. The worst of the damage was on the little boy's hands, and some burn cream would clear it up soon enough. "Hey, how does an extra-large snow cone and no swimming sound in exchange for getting a new sibling in a few months?"

Zach wrinkled his nose. "I don't want another Tyler!" He exclaimed and broke off into several pitiful groans. "I wish Mom had turned into a dragon instead!" He turned around pointedly, crossing his arms, and Ben rolled his eyes as he gathered Tyler into his arms. "We'll have to try another day," He told the confused photographer, who nodded and began to pack up. Evie and Jane appeared behind her, surveying the scene as Belle and Adam examined each other's wounds.

They met his eyes, trying not to laugh. Ben pointed a finger to them both. "Not a word." He cautioned. "You both had to go through it too, so not a word."

Evie and Jane could only laugh as Ben took his quivering five-year-old to the car, where Mal had plugged in some headphones and was listening to Isle music with her eyes closed and the seat leaned all the way back. "She has the worst timing," Evie whispered to Jane, who could only laugh in agreement as the photographer packed up, and the party broke off before it ever actually began.

______________________________________________________________

The last baby was a girl, and Mal was absolutely done after that. And where once-upon-a-time Ben had wanted more children with her, dealing with twenty-seven total months of not being able to touch her for extended amounts of time(Which kind of forced him to cut back on his favorite things to do with her) and then dealing with the "normal" things like morning(all-day) sickness and sleeplessness and cravings(No, Mal, you can't have five pounds of salt of everything!) really convinced him otherwise. So they stopped at three and three was fine. Three was actually more than fine. Three was three more than Mal had ever planned on growing up, and three was a good number to keep track of, and of those three only two could use spells, so all was well.

Even just one was fine, really, because that one got her off of the throne. She and Ben retired at age forty-two, and Zach(who eventually mellowed out and became less dramatic) became King of Auradon. He ended up marrying Charlie, Audrey and Chad's daughter, which wasn't necessarily a relationship that Ben and Mal supported in the beginning but worked out well enough in the end. Tyler hasn't married yet, and the last girl, Belle Marie, is dating around and not really playing seriously. Mal loves her daughter, but she wishes she could have at least one Sunday dinner with her where Marie's phone isn't blowing up with messages from random guys(and girls) who want to date her.

Ben agrees.

It's nine a.m. on a Tuesday and, for once, they're having breakfast together. Well, except for Charlie, and Marie is dragging her feet today. Charlie is down in the royal stables, Mal thinks, and is getting her horse hitched up to take to Auradon Elementary for the day. Zach is rushing a little bit, walking out of the room and down to his office before returning with papers and pens and – oops! – he forgot a stapler so he's back out again. Tyler doesn't even notice as his brother wanders in and out of the room. He's too busy eating all the marshmallows out of his cereal before trying to coyly steal more, thinking Mal won't notice even after all these years. He's twenty-two, but some things never change.

Mal gets up to steal a few more strawberries as Ben plays a math game on his phone. She has no idea how he can concentrate. Nine a.m. is an evil hour and no well-minded person should wake before the hour of eleven, in her opinion. It's been years since she was a delinquent at Auradon Prep, but again, some things never change.

Marie staggers into the room with a bed head and a bathrobe and a collection of different-pitched yawns. She slumps into her seat and crosses her arms and lays her head down on top of her plate. Mal's daughter share's her opinions about mornings. "They're more evil than Grandma and shouldn't exist."

"Morning." Mal hums. "How did you sleep?"

"Fine." Marie yawns and Mal set her plate down beside Ben's and then reaches over to rub Marie's back a little.

"What are your plans for-" She cuts herself off, and then squints at her daughter's skin suspiciously. Marie's neck is warm. Far, far warmer than just a fever. Mal presses the back of her hand to her daughter's cheek, shocking the teenager awake, then feels the side of her neck before she turns to Ben with a dumbfounded expression.

"Why are you touching me?" Marie complains, batting at her Mom's hands. "I'm fine, Mom."

Ben, however, has looked up and has his head tilted in that way that Mal remembers from years ago when he'd hug Evie or Jane and know, immediately, what new eventful thing was going on in their lives. His lips pinch together in a fierce, angry line, and he leans over to touch Marie's cheek as his expression goes even whiter.

"Stop!" Marie moans and hides her face away. Ben and Mal examine each other, and neither is quite sure how to break this news to their daughter.

Zach reappears in the doorway and laughs when he sees Marie curled up on top of her plate. "Hey, Rie." He laughs, and leans over the table to push her hair aside and send light streaming into the dark prison she's building around her head. His joking expression turns to shock and horror as he jumps back, holding the same hand he burned all those years ago to his chest. "Oh my gosh!" He shouts, and finally shocks Tyler out of his stupor.

Tyler looks around, eyes flashing a little bit as he calms down from his surprise, and gasps: "Where's the party?"

"Why are you all warm?" Zach demands of his sister. "You're like, five-million-degrees!"

"No, I'm not!" Marie frowns and finally sits up. "I'm not warm at all!" She runs a hand up her own arm to prove it, and Mal exchanges an exasperated look with Ben, who is looking increasingly angry about the entire situation.

"You totally are! You're like a furnace!" Zach protests. "It's like when mom-" He cuts off, and Mal watches her son connect the dots. It is probably a good thing, she thinks, that he's experiencing this deductive reasoning with his sister before he ever experiences it with his wife. Poor Charlie will, however, suffer along with him from the heat.

"Wait, she's all lit up?" Tyler asks, and then pushes his seat back and jumps out of his chair. He puts about ten paces between himself and Marie and stares at her in horror. "Are you going to burn us?" He yelps.

"Burn you?" Marie asks. "I haven't cast any spells!" She looks toward her mom, the magical expert in the room, for help and notices her parents exchanging tight-lipped and amused expressions. "What?" She demands.

Ben turns off his phone, shaking his head, and picks up his glass of orange juice. "You better call your boyfriend." He mutters.

"What?" Marie asks. Mal sets a hand down carefully on her daughter's shoulder.

"Did I ever tell you about the time I found out I was pregnant with you? People with Fae blood… they flare up and can actually burn people. Tyler was burned all over his body because I was holding him. Zach only got his hand. And then after that intense heat, you just stay warm until it's over." She watched realization, and then horror appear in her daughter's eyes and took her hand away. "Just food for thought. Usually, you can't notice the heat either. Only if you're completely human." She sits down and watches Tyler and Zach slowly calm down and return to their seats. Marie looks like she's been hit with a freight train as her eyes bug out. Mal isn't quite sure what to do. They live in a palace with servants and thousands of rooms, so there's not really a financial problem, and there'll be plenty of time to comfort her only female offspring when she's not soaking in the information, so she figures that for now, it's best to make sure her daughter gets her head wrapped around her own situation and then maybe later they can express their disappointment in the situation. (Unfortunately, she's an adult now, so they can't do much more than that.)

And everything kind of has a way of figuring itself out, so she lets it be and focuses on trying to help Ben not explode into death threats towards whoever dared defile a Princess of Auradon.

[amethystina]

for the trope mash up #6 bookshop au and #52 marriage of convenience Jake/Cougar

The Losers fandom really likes bookshop AUs. What’s with that? I mean, I’m not complaining, but what are the odds of getting three of them? 

AH WELL. I admit that I had a hard time deciding what time period to put this in and I ended up choosing one I hadn’t done before (and one I happen to be very much intrigued by right now). So, below the cut you will find my ideas for a story with these two tropes in it — a Fantasy AU, to be more precise ;)

Working in a bookshop is, in fact, a dream come true for Jake. He grew up poor in the huge, bustling capital and never really saw much aside from the nearby houses and his father’s smithy. There was this kind lady a couple of houses down that taught him how to read, though, and Jake loved it from the very start. So, as he grew older, he read whatever he could get his hands on which, admittedly, wasn’t much. Still, for a couple of hours he was able to dream of faraway lands and kings and queens and valiant adventures, and books became a bit of a refuge for him.

So, at the age of fifteen, when he is offered a job at a bookstore instead of his father’s smithy, he takes it. And he LOVES IT. Maybe he reads more than he should, but some days are slow and the owner is okay with it. The fact that the bookshop is in a nicer part of town also means that Jake earns quite a lot of money and even if he gives most of it to his mom and sister, at least he feels like he’s moved up in the world.

It is in the bookshop that he reads his first spellbook. And, sure, he’s probably not supposed to try them out because only mages are allowed to, but who’s to know? Some of the spells are absolutely wicked and Jake just gets bored easily. No harm done, right?

Jake is twenty-four and comfortably content with his life when a new customer steps inside the shop. Jake has never seen him before but the man is, without a doubt, the prettiest Jake has ever seen and his clothes are far too nice to belong to a commoner. So the guy is undoubtedly a noble of some kind and Jake makes sure to be extra polite when the man asks for help to buy a book for his sister. Jake gives some tips and somewhere along the way lose track of time entirely, giving the stranger a lengthy review of several of Jake’s favourite books before he even realises what he’s doing. The stranger doesn’t seem to mind, however, and Jake might blush a bit when the man smiles at him. His name is Carlos, Jake learns, and he might be a little bit smitten.

Eventually, they find a book for Carlos’s sister and Jake is disappointed to see him go. But, hopefully, Carlos might come back some other time.

And, of course, he does. Several times.

The first couple he really does have books to buy, but, after a while, he seems to show up just to talk to Jake. Or, well, listens to Jake, because Carlos doesn’t talk much, but that’s fine — Jake talks for the both of them. Jake can tell that Carlos is pretty damn rich, even if he clearly tries to hide it, and therefore never lets himself believe this is anything but a casual acquaintance, but a part of him wishes it was more. It doesn’t take long at all before the mere sight of Carlos makes Jake’s heart race, and every time Carlos does say something, Jake has to hold back a delighted shiver. Besides, Carlos is so damned pretty with his dark, warm eyes, long, soft hair, and that subtle confidence that makes Jake’s knees a little weak. He can tell that they’re very different — not just their personalities but class and such as well — and he knows it would never work, but he can dream, right?

Jake is surprised the day he realises that they’ve known each other for over five months. It feels both longer and shorter, somehow, and he’s so helplessly in love he doesn’t know what to do with himself half of the times. So he talks instead, about himself and his dreams and things he’s read about. The one thing they rarely talk about is Carlos and whoever he might be, but that’s fine because Jake doesn’t need to know. He’s curious, sure, but wouldn’t dream of asking.

After the six-month mark rolls around, Jake realises that maybe he should have. That’s when the betrothal between the prince — not the heir to the throne but an important part of the royal family nonetheless, Jake is told — and a neighbouring land’s princess is announced. The entire city is celebrating and Jake is happy, too, until he happens to see the announcement posters and that’s Carlos — Jake would recognise that face anywhere. Carlos is the prince.

Jake isn’t surprised that he didn’t know — he’s way, way below the nobility and he has no idea what they look like — but he realises just how stupid he’s been. And how insulting. He could probably be thrown in jail for some of the things he’s said to the fucking prince, and knows he has to do better.

So next time Carlos comes around, Jake congratulates him on his engagement and makes sure to use the proper titles and as good manners as he can manage. Carlos, surprisingly, looks like his heart just shattered into pieces. That doesn’t help Jake at all because he’s still trying to swallow the fact that the man he’s in love with is getting married and he’s the fucking prince so Jake should cut his losses and move on. But he doesn’t want to, especially not when Carlos swallows and tells him it’s just politics. A marriage of convenience and alliances. He doesn’t actually want to marry, but doesn’t really have much of a say on the matter.

And that’s when Jake realises that his story won’t end as happily as his books do. Neither of them is getting a happily ever after.

When Carlos’s leaves that time, Jake is pretty sure he won’t be coming back. That would just be rubbing salt in the wounds.

Jake is absolutely correct.

He doesn’t see Carlos for over two months and tries very hard not to let the heartbreak show, but he’s pretty sure Jess can tell. She kind enough not to ask, though, which is a small blessing.

Then, one quite regular Thursday, a lady steps into the shop. Had her face not been plastered all over the city, Jake might not have recognised her, but he knows this is Carlos’s fiancée.

He has no idea what to do with that.

So he tries to act natural and asks how he can help, only to find himself scrutinised within an inch of his life. Carlos’s fiancée is very beautiful but also quite terrifying, and Jake’s heart starts racing when she blatantly asks him if he’s the one her fiancé is mooning over. He doesn’t know how to respond because he had no idea, but she seems to take his silence as confirmation. And Jake knows he must be in deep shit now. She’s a princess and if she thinks that he’s encroaching on her turf, she could have him hanged.

But first she asks him if he loves Carlos back and, without really meaning to, Jake stutters out a yes. If he’s going to die, he at least wants to have that said out loud.

He loves Carlos.

To his surprise, the princess smiles and looks relieved, of all things. And then asks him to please elope with her fiancé. Jake feels he’s entitled to looking confused at that point.

She explains that neither of them wants to marry but she’s the heir so she can’t exactly run off, not to mention that she’s actually quite keen to rule her homeland. Carlos, on the other hand, is only second in line with younger siblings to take over, should something happen to his older sister. So, the princess argues, Carlos could totally break the engagement and run off into the sunset with Jake. It would be a scandal, for sure, but the princess is certain their countries will manage an alliance even without a marriage, if nothing else when she takes the throne.

Jake stands dumbfounded but, when pressed, nods.

He would very much like to be together with Carlos, even if it means running away for a little while. The princess assures him of that too — Carlos’s parents are much too kind of exile them for eloping, but they might want to stay away until the worst of the scandal has died down, at the very least. Meaning that Jake doesn’t have to leave his sister and young niece permanently. For a little while, sure, but they’ll be back.

Once satisfied with his answer, the princess leaves, giving Jake ample time to freak out about the whole thing. He even starts having regrets, wondering if it’s a trap somehow, up until the point where there’s a knock on his door the following night and finds Carlos and the princess standing outside. Jake, again, is a little too stunned to react, especially when he sees the simple travelling clothes Carlos is wearing.

But the princess explains that the sooner they leave, the better. The planning for the wedding has already started and it will be less of a waste if they go now. Not to mention that someone might figure out they’re eloping and try to stop them. Jake stops only long enough to ask Carlos if he’s aware of what he’s doing. He’s no doubt going to be the one who’s hit with more consequences, but Carlos just looks at Jake, his gaze serious and so full of hope and determination that Jake can’t breathe. Then says:

“It’s worth it.”

And that settles it for Jake.

Their departure ends up being on pretty short notice and Jess isn’t happy at all, except she really is because she wants what’s best for her brother and he’s been so miserable this past couple of weeks. She takes the time to give Carlos a quick shovel talk, thank the princess for her solution to the problem, and then proceeds to pack Jake and Carlos some food for their journey.

Jake thanks the princess too, but she assures him that he’s really doing her a favour by eloping with her fiancé. And, for that, she tells them that if they ever run into any trouble, they should head for her homeland and ask for Princess Aisha. She’ll make sure to help them.

And, just like that, Jake finds himself sneaking out of the capital with a wayward prince and, as he laces his fingers together with Carlos’s and gives him a shy but happy smile, he knows this is just the beginning of their adventures together.

THE END.

Aaaaand yeah. How about that? I could easily go on about their adventures (which would involve the magic I only managed to throw in as a small footnote here) and dragons and whatnot. But you’ll have to settle for this ;)

And yes, I know that the marriage of convenience wasn’t between Jake and Cougar but no one said it had to be! This worked better with my idea xD