#as it was and a post 2017 zayn single should never even be mentioned in the same sentence

[zot3-flopped]

I saw people on twitter defending zayns song and saying: harry‘s aiw came out during the lockdown so ofc it would do more views on tiktok

have they noticed that even for it not being lockdown, the comeback of zayn is flopping, and we don‘t even have a full song to chart yet

Nobody was in lockdown in April 2022 - how stupid are these people? Plus As It Was was a hit everywhere, not just on TikTok. Huge sales, huge streams on Spotify.

Are these brand new Zayn fans who have no knowledge of his dismal charting record of the past six years? The two NiL singles were released when the UK was in lockdown, and both flopped disastrously.

[afangirlfantasy]

Here’s to all the fics I wrote in 2017! I have to say a massive thank you to anyone who’s ever looked, liked or commented on my fics! You all make this so much fun for me, and make writing worthwhile! I can never thank you all enough!

                                        Fics Posted in 2017

1.  In Total Darkness I, I Reach Out and Touch

Words: 2k

Tomorrow is a big day for Louis and his husband, and it’s because of this reason that he can’t sleep. Turns out, poor Harry can’t either.

Or a fluffy established relationship AU with some famous Harry all mixed into that.

2.  My Youth is Yours

Words: 2k

Louis can’t sleep, and is worried that his insomnia will be the reason he fails his exam. In a last ditch effort, he goes to his roommate Harry for some help.

Or a roommates AU where Louis gets a little more than he bargained for - not that it's a bad thing. Not at all.

3.  Won't Let Go of You for Nothing

Words: 3k

Louis’ new neighbor is playing their music offensively loud, and he’s fucking pissed. Every night this week he hasn’t been able to fall asleep because of it, but tonight, Louis refuses to suffer again. Taking matters into his own hands, Louis goes over to knock some much needed sense into their brain.

Things may or may not go the way he plans.

Or a Love/Hate neighbors AU

4.  I Picked My Poison, And It’s You

Words: 5k

Louis never backs down on dares. But maybe this was the one time he should have.

Vampire AU

5.  But Darling, Stay With Me

Words: 5k

The 'Louis calls the wrong number AU' with a twist!

6.  Drive Me Crazy

Words: 7k

Louis’ a single Dad heading out to buy a birthday present for his little princess. Harry’s a uni student working part-time at the toy store.

Or an AU where Louis just wants a toy for his daughter, and Harry just wants to take Louis on a date.

7.  Wonderwall

Words: 43k

Taking the sheet cluttered with times available for the next few weeks, Louis notices a pattern in the list. The name of the person Perrie had just mentioned: Harry Styles. It’s written at least seven times, and three of which are during timeframes Louis wants.

“Who the fuck is Harry Styles?”

“You’re about to find out,” she answers, pointing over Louis’ shoulder.

Or a Love/Hate College AU where Louis Tomlinson is the lead singer of The Rogue - the most popular band on campus - and Harry Styles is the talented Freshman unknowingly challenging all that.

8.  Even Angels Have Their Demons

Words: 55k

Louis is appointed the role of Guardian Angel, and his first mission is a boy named Zayn Malik. Unfortunately, it seems that a certain Demon has gotten to him first.

Or... an Angel/Demon AU where Angel Louis hates Demon Harry, but somewhere along the way that stops being so true.

9.  I'm On the Hunt Now (I'm After You)

Words: 56k

Omegas haven’t been able to shift into their wolves for two hundred years. That is, until Louis Tomlinson changes everything.

Or...an AU where Alpha Harry and Omega Louis have a lot more than falling in love to deal with after The Mating Ceremony.

**credit to owner for the manip I used

[wellthatwasaletdown]

About Harry's solo deal

I agree that we will never know the fine details of his contract. I just read what one of your anons said with the link where they explain the difference between a distribution & a licensing deal. I agree with them that what him & OT3 went with the licensing deal because there are less risks on them to lose money.

A licensing deal is:

Licensing is when another business, usually another record label (in this case Columbia) or a distributor (Apple Music who had made apparently a 25 million offer for 1 album), purchases the rights to an album from you. They pay you a set fee, and then they take on the task of acting as the label for that album in the territory for which they licensed the album. In this case it would be global.

They take the responsibility for manufacturing the album, promoting it (Did you see how hands on Columbia was in the promo? Only the high executives like VPs and all are taking care of Harry.) and getting it distributed it (hence why you see 2017 Erskine Record Limited, Under exclusive licence to Columbia Records). So for a certain time period as agreed on their contract, Columbia has the rights but once the time period is over, Erskine Record Limited which is Harry’s label gets back the rights to his material. It’s basically like he is renting the rights but he is technically the ultimate owner…  

 If they make tons of money selling it, then the rewards are all theirs; you don’t make any money beyond your original licensing fee. If they lose money on the album, then that loss is all theirs too; you still keep your licensing fee regardless of the album’s performance and sales.

That is also probably why Harry is doing back to back tours to increase his own revenue. Because there the label doesn’t get a cut unlike if it was like a 360 deal…For artists, it's touring that brings in the most money and not the album sales since the label gets a major cut.

This is the definition of a distribution deal:

Distribution, on the other hand, refers to getting your albums into shops. With a distribution deal, you only make money on what you sell, and your label is responsible for manufacturing and promotion. If you make a lot of money, you get to keep it all.

But if you lose a lot of money on the album, then the losses all come from your pocket. A distribution deal, would mean that Harry’s label Erskine Records Ltd would have had to pay for the manufacturing & promo. That would be quite costly and no one would advise him to that especially since he wanted to be a global star and not just a local indie act. Here are the pros of choosing a licensing deal:

When you are a big artist that has a following, generating a lot of buzz or you are a household name, major labels approach these artists with a licensing deal. Especially when there is a potential for a global market.

when it comes to getting your albums into the international market,  licensing offers plenty of benefits for a small label, including:

A major label knows the market better; they already have relationships with the media, the distributors, and the stores, so they will have better tools to promote the artist.

Licensing is good for cash flow; it puts a big check in your hand up front.

Licensing deals let someone else carry all of the risks.

Another link that people should read is about the Pros & Cons of signing with a major record label. With this, you will probably recognize some of the strategies used by the label during the promo campaign.. The same is applicable with Niall & Liam and their deals.  

www(.)thebalance(.)com/major-label-record-deals-understanding-the-pros-and-cons-2460377

On July 1st 2016, HDD published this:

hitsdailydouble(.)com/news&id=301745

HIGH STYLES: Columbia’s closing of the Harry Styles deal is a big win for Rob Stringer. It’s also a killer start in the managerial business for Jeffrey Azoff—not to mention yet another feather in the cap of power behind the throne Irving Azoff, though the proud pop gives total credit to Jeffrey for making the deal. Spinners are spinning that Apple supposedly offered $25m for one album, which set the bar high and drove up the offers to the extent that the winning bid was in the $75-80m range for three albums. Such a deal would have a break-even point of 5m units worldwide, not including marketing costs or streaming income. Now what would have Jeff Azoff pitched to these labels or distributors in order for them to go to a bidding war… This article from the DM also published on July 1st 2016 will give you a hint about the sales pitch:  www(.)dailymail(.)co(.)uk/tvshowbiz/article-3670161/Harry-Styles-signs-80million-solo-record-deal-Columbia-One-Direction-continue-hiatus(.)html

In August, it was reported that Sony Music - which owns Columbia - were keen to sign the 22-year-old star for a solo record deal.

A Sony insider revealed at the time: ‘Harry has always been One Direction’s most popular member and it’s obvious that we want to secure him. He’s a global superstar.

'Zayn will get to release an album first, as he left the band earlier, but the most excitement is about what Harry is going to do.

'Everyone wants to know what his solo material will sound like, there’s also a lot of pressure to get it right.

I am willing to bet that Jeff played those points in his sales and those same points were also used with the launch…Those ideas were planted since 2014 when Harry linked up with the Azoff.. His rebrand while in 1D was all in effort to make sure that once it is time to go solo, he will have a lucrative contract.

Now here we are almost 6 months in after the launch… Harry has not reached yet the 1.5 million mark of worldwide sales. As of November 1st he was at 1.25 million worldwide sales. twitter(.)com/chartdata/status/925656162300841984. As pointed out earlier by the article from HDD, in order to break even, he needs to sell 5 millions…  So in order for the label to say they are making profit, he would have to sell more than 5 million copies. As the Telegraph said, they have heard whispers and grumbles that his record company were not best pleased with the change of (One) direction. While his debut reached number around the world, sales were modest and faded quickly, and it has only produced one hit single. www(.)telegraph(.)co(.)uk/music/what-to-listen-to/harry-styles-embarks-beautiful-musical-journey-hammersmith-apollo/ So, for the rest of the year there has to be some sort of turn around in the sales. Maybe they are hoping that him being seen on a huge platform like the VS show or The Grammys will change things around.. These are probably the last 2 big opportunities to attract the general population… I am sure they were banking in on Dunkirk for it to boost his popularity with the general population and that failed. If the trend doesn’t change, for sure for HS2, Columbia will have way more input in the type of material he will release… They want what they were promised… Sorry for the long post…

[possessedcoast]

the life and times of ryan ross pt 8

.2015/2016

welcome all! make sure to thank @jen--ne--sais--quoi for the existence of these posts because the poor thing asked to know about ryan and now she probably knows more than she ever wanted to!

here in our final chapter, we shall see what ryan has been up to from where we left off in 2015 to as current as we can be as of today (feb 26, 2017) this is mostly links and pictures because he didn’t actually do a whole lot

alright, early 2015. pretty much all ryan ross does is spend time with friends, mostly dan keyes and ryland blackinton. he goes to coachella and looks lovely in his hawaiian shirt. 

he also posted some teasers about making music on instagram, but we saw no new music. 

the most important thing about 2015 is ryan’s beard. 

look at it. it’s glorious. 

in february/march of 2015 zayn has left one direction (this is a ryan ross post, why is she talking about one direction??? it’s relevant, i promise.) someone thought it would be funny to edit the 1d wikipedia page to day that ryan ross had joined the band. 1d fangirls lost their minds. ryan tweeted “ You guys got it all wrong, the four remaining members of One Direction are joining MY band” 

if you look at his twitter throughout 2015, some of the tweets are vastly different than others. it could’ve been him on drugs, it could’ve been shane morris. personally, i think it was more shane, but the other is a possibility. also in june 2015, he got super fucked up and crashed a PHASES show. there are pictures of it out there, but i don’t think it’s really appropriate to share them. i also vaguely remember someone (z maybe?) asking for them to not be shared because ryan was really embarrassed and upset about it. about the incident he said “Def was having too much fun at the Phases show tonight, I promise I'll never do it again  again” so there’s that.

then in july ryro got a girlfriend! he began dating model helena vestergaard and it seemed really good for him. it was certainly good for all of us fans because he posted so much while they were together. she also posted a lot about him. there were so many ryan pictures. it was glorious. here are some pics

then the next most important thing of 2015 happened. 

dorothy ross. 

ryan and helena got the cutest puppy in the world

from then on his instagram is pretty much dottie, but none of us mind because she’s precious. 

we also got this monstrosity

that’s all i’m gonna say about that. more helena and dottie pictures. then we get a picture where ryan tells us he’s taking vocal lessons!! and then he posted a teeny clip of a new song!!! more dottie & helena. a video of him learning to box?

don’t forget that this era of ryan likes hockey and baseball. he watches both and plays hockey too. 

halloween 2015. the fucking party. so. you thought we were done talking about brendon urie. we’re not. by 2015, he and ryan are not talking, at all. brendon usually avoids talking about ryan at all. then adam levine (yes, that one) has a halloween party. ryan’s invited because he’s best friends with mickey madden. he goes as a gremlin. well, a mogwai because he’s fuzzy and not scaly, but yeah. 

brendon, dressed as a skeleton and with sarah, was also there. as far as i’m aware, they basically didn’t even talk. brendon goes on to mention it a million times.

btw, by this point ryan doesn’t use his twitter anymore, it’s all just instagram links. there were some tweets earlier in the year that i’ll be talking about in my shane morris companion piece, but basically, shane likes to troll ryan’s fans by tweeting things or posting things on facebook then quickly deleting them.

also in 2015, ryan posts a picture of what seem to be song titles along with promises for making new music (the “shut the fuck up” was in response to someone telling him to go to bed btw) 

we’re now at the end of 2015. it seems like this is when ryan finally disconnects his twitter from his instagram because (except for one) his tweets stop and his instagram continues. he has also dropped shane morris as his manager (thank god)

near the beginning of 2016, ryan tells us that he has written a song for a band called agelast (sadly, that is pronounced ah-gel-ist, not age-last) he posted on both twitter and facebook about this. i’m inclined to believe both posts were actually him, not shane, but who knows. there was this comment on the facebook page that would be nice if it was from him. 

then, also early 2016, he and helena broke up. he was all set to fly to visit her in australia on a long term modeling job, and maybe he did, but that was that on helena vestergaard. she deleted all traces of him from her social media. he continued to play hockey and post pictures of dottie. 

he also bought 5 pounds of sour patch kids, causing all of us to fear for his health. then he starts to become a bit of a recluse. he posts a lot less frequently and it’s usually dottie pictures. 

then he goes to a renaissance fair and saves lives with his look 

easily the most important part of 2016 was when ryan did a surprise performance with dan keyes’ band cologne at emo nite la. it’s everything. EVERYTHING. watch it now. it felt like a nice comeback and he looked GOOD

we also got another tiny song clip. more pictures and videos of dottie. he also modeled some new PHASES merch with Z and Langley 

he went to the beach and we were blessed with this glorious image 

then he turned 30! and jeremy burke & alison harvard threw him a mini party at midnight with pizza! 

also sometime in august, his demo ep was deleted from soundcloud (his whole soundcloud was deleted) along with his site going down and his facebook page being deleted. the only thing we know is actually ryan is his instagram. 

then came halloween. with costumes in the past like et, a sloth, and a gremlin, we knew he would not disappoint. he was link from legend of zelda and he spent a good amount of the party (adam levine’s again, bden was not there) with victoria asher and gabe saporta from cobra starship. have some pics. 

(that’s gabe beside him)

then he “drank some blood” in this adorable video with his vocal coach

throughout 2016, a director named dan adams (glitterworldinc on insta) had been tagging ryan in a lot of pictures. i’m going to make a companion piece for him as well, but i’ll mention him here. he posts pictures of ryan, sometimes with strange captions, sometimes with rude captions. many pictures didn’t have ryan in them, but he was tagged. some pictures were of ryan’s house or around echo park. see more about that in the companion piece. lots of speculation went on about what he was doing with ryan. we’ll get to that in a minute. something more exciting now. the longest clip of new music that makes me cry every single time i listen to it, that callback line. (fun fact, z commented on it and called him space boi which is where i get one of my tags for him)

he looked beautifully goth for new years 

now we’re in 2017!

we found out this year that all the things glitterworldinc had been posting are because ryan’s going to be in his new movie!! he’s playing a character named Dewey Parsons in daniel adams’ new movie starmaker

the newest picture we have from ryan himself is this

and dan adams (glitterworldinc) has recently posted two! one was posted today! 

and that is basically everything i know about ryan ross’ life from the earliest facts i know to today! thank you for coming along on this crazy long ride with me and reading this giant mess. i’ll make those companion pieces here soon, so look out for those! EDIT: Update!!!!! ryan posted this mere hours after i finished this because he likes to make my life harder (i’m mostly kidding, i love him so much)

his caption: “On all twos Makin tunes on toons”

EDIT NUMBER 2: i should have made an outline for these posts, jesus christ. i told you all in another post that the guitar ryan burned alive would be important later and then i never told you why. the why is because brendon still has it. yep, he has the guitar that ryan burned all the way back in the cabin/pretty. odd. era. how do we know this? oh, just because brendon put it in his literal house of memories. it’s fine, i’m not crying. (it’s not fine, i am crying) the house of memories is a vip thing for this tour where fans can go in and take pictures with a bunch of old panic! things, from the masks from fever era to stuff from the victorious video. i would kill to go. 

[lifeasarandomdudeknowsit-blog]

Entry #321 - The Wordy Wrestling aWards, Part 5

Well, this is it.  The final entry in the 2016 Wordy Wrestling aWards.  Even though technically it is now 2017 (which is weird to say now that it's officially the new year (side note: I am writing this the day before it is posted simply because, again, I am in a writing mood)).  But this is the big aWard: the Match of the Year.  Keep in mind that my opinions regarding Match of the Year candidates only includes WWE matches from Wrestlemania weekend and forward.  Apologies to those NJPW, Ring of Honor, PWG, or any other promotion out there.  Were this my job to talk about wrestling, I would be much more well-versed in other promotions.  But since this is a hobby, I can only cover so much.

Fair warning: I'm picking my ten favorite matches of 2016, and even after attempting to choose an order, I'm finding it very difficult to decide which was #4, #5, and #6, so I'm basically going to give those three matches a tie.  Also, I have seven honorable mentions that I'm going to try to rattle off quickly: The men's Survivor Series elimination match, Nakamura vs. Zayn (TakeOver Dallas), Cena vs. Styles vs. Ambrose for the WWE World Title (No Mercy), Balor vs. Rollins for the Universal Title (Summerslam), Gargano vs. Ciampa (CWC), Balor vs. Nakamura (NXT), New Day vs. Jeri-KO vs. Rollins/Reigns (Raw).  Each of these matches stood above the majority of the rest of the year's matches, but the ten I've selected as my favorites of the year had something a little more special about them than these listed.  Still, these seven matches are some of the best, and if you're looking for a way to spend a day, watching any or all of these matches is a pretty good way to spend that time.

Let's get on with the list proper, shall we?

#10 – Bayley vs. Asuka for the NXT Women's Championship, NXT TakeOver Dallas.  After a near four year hiatus, I decided to see what all had happened during Wrestlemania weekend.  My first experience was TakeOver Dallas.  I had heard great things about NXT overall since my hiatus began, but had never really bothered to check it out.  This was also my first experience of a women's division match since way back when the majority of women's matches consisted of models fumbling about in the ring for three minutes a week.  So this match made a huge impact on me and immediately made me a believer in WWE's change in mindset regarding women's wrestling.  It helped that I had seen Asuka a few times before when she worked for CHIKARA, but I had not seen anything of her since then.  These two had probably the best match of the night (only Zayn vs. Nakamura came close, but that was more of an exhibition rather than a match with a story behind it, which is why it isn't in the top ten).  Both women gave it their all, and outshone the men on this night.  A fantastic match that once again proved women are just as good (if not better) than the men.

#9 – Cedric Alexander vs. Kota Ibushi, Cruiserweight Classic quarterfinals.  This is the match that every other match in the Cruiserweight Classic had to live up to, and none of them succeeded.  While Gargano and Ciampa had a stellar showing as well (which included a huge amount of emotion that you don't normally see in a WWE ring), Alexander and Ibushi had a master class in how to build a match and made the Cruiserweight Classic a must-watch each week.  Though Ibushi ended up not signing with WWE, this match seemed to single-handedly land Cedric Alexander a job, which couldn't make me happier.  Alexander is a supremely talented guy, and he may end up being one of the few cruiserweights to transcend that division and eventually move up to the main roster. Ibushi would definitely be another, but again, he did not sign.  As great as the matches in the Cruiserweight Classic that followed this one, none quite matched the intensity and creativity of this one.

#8 – Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch for the WWE Women's Championship, Wrestlemania 32.  Yet another reason why I became a huge fan of the way WWE treats its women's division now, these three women had a knock-down, drag-out fight that was nothing short of spectacular.  Admittedly, I did not go back and watch this match (I actually only went back and watched three of them on this list), but what I do remember is that these three women stole the show and put the men on notice.  There may have been “better” matches on the Wrestlemania card, but I sure as hell can't remember any of them the way I remember this match.  It sowed the seeds for the Charlotte vs. Sasha feud that won my Feud of the Year, and proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that the women's division is the strongest it's ever been.

#7 – Sheamus vs. Cesaro, Match 7 of their Best of 7 Series, Clash of Champions.  I've talked about the feud between these two, as well as the tag team that ensued thanks to the slavering inanity of one Mick Foley.  But really, this is the highlight of their entire feud and resulting tag team.  Sure, they dethroned The New Day's longest tag title reign in WWE history, but this match was unmatched at Clash of Champions.  Both men pulled off moves I'm certain no one expected (including a 619 from Cesaro and a terrifying dive by Cesaro through the ropes that could very well have paralyzed him were it not for the fact that the man is a freak of nature), and built an incredible story over 16 and a half minutes. The main reason this isn't higher on the top ten list is because of the screwy finish, where both guys knocked each other into the timekeeper's area, and the referee basically just waived off the match rather than let both guys get counted out.  I would have preferred a count-out victory to a no contest, especially since about two minutes after the ref stopped the match, both guys were ready to go again.  But no match is perfect.  I salute both men for turning what seemed to be a throwaway feud into gold.

The next three matches are the ones I watched again to see if I could pick a definitive order in which to place them.  But I just ended up enjoying all three so much, I'm putting them all at a tie for fourth.

#4A – Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens, Battleground.  These two have been fighting beside or against each other for so long, of course they were going to have an awesome match.  The fact that this was buried in the middle of the Battleground card did them no justice.  These two battled each other for nearly twenty minutes (the longest match of the night, I might add), and showed how a well-built feud should end.  Both men gave it their all, pulling off scary moves and building from a slow-paced start to a frenetic ending.  If any wrestler out there wants to know how to tell a story over the course of one match that simultaneously tells a story about the entire rivalry, this is the match to watch. I cannot emphasize how great both of these guys are, and how I hope in a year's time, they will be feuding over the World or Universal Championship.  I would love to see Sami win one of the top prizes from Owens at Wrestlemania one of these years, because he sure as hell deserves it.

#4B – AJ Styles vs. John Cena, Summerslam.  Another fantastic match that was buried deep in the show's card that none of the following matches could even come close to, well, matching in terms of storytelling and drama.  Both men wanted to lay claim to the top guy on Smackdown, and over the course of 23 minutes, built a story that few in this day and age can match. I watched this match again the day before writing this post, and about ten minutes in I was wondering why I thought this should be a Match of the Year candidate.  Yet by the end I was hanging on their every move, much like the crowd.  One major factor that this match, Zayn vs. Owens, and the next match listed had going for them was an intense, raucous crowd that ate up every single second of action. Both Styles and Cena are consummate professionals, and made each other look fantastic.  The fact that Styles won clean was a huge deal to many, as Cena had rarely lost a bout cleanly over the past decade. It solidified Styles' place on the roster, and as we saw a couple of months later, pushed him to the World Title.  I can't wait for their match at the Royal Rumble.

#4C – Samoa Joe vs. Shinsuke Nakamura for the NXT Championship, NXT TakeOver Brooklyn II.  In what was easily one of the top feuds of the year, Joe and Nakamura put on several stellar matches over the course of three months.  But none quite matched the intensity and fervor of their first in-ring encounter at TakeOver Brooklyn II.  The crowd was white hot, the atmosphere was tense, and both men wanted to tear each other apart. And over the course of 21 minutes, they did.  Both men pulled out all the stops to try to destroy the other en route to the NXT Title.  In the end, Nakamura finished off Joe after three knees to the head (I'm glossing over a LOT of in-ring action here) to capture the NXT Title for the first time.  Honestly, the emotional high from seeing Nakamura reach the top of the NXT mountain was more satisfying than any of their other encounters.  Bonus points go to the amazing entrance Nakamura received, with a solo violinist rocking the crowd out with a beautiful yet harsh melody, an entrance that would only be topped by Bobby Roode's entrance at TakeOver Toronto.  All in all, fantastic.

Okay, we're down to the nitty gritty.

#3 – DIY vs. The Revival, Two Out of Three Falls Match for the NXT Tag Team Championship, NXT TakeOver Toronto.  What happens when you get two of the absolute best tag teams in the world together and tell them to fight each other for 22 minutes?  This match.  There was such masterful storytelling between these two teams that it's hard to imagine anything better happening all year (though, seeing as how this is #3 on my list, at least to me, two more matches did slightly better, but that includes extenuating circumstances).  I hate glossing over entire matches like this, but really, what made this match truly epic was the ending (spoiler alert), which saw Ciampa and Gargano simultaneously locking Dash and Dawson into different submission holds right in the center of the ring.  The beautiful moment came when The Revival actually held each others' hands to try to keep each other from tapping out, but after enough time had passed, both relented.  It was probably the best ending to a match all year, and not only solidified DIY as the tag team of the future, but proved that The Revival are ready for the main roster.  A true classic of this generation.

#2 – The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler, Intercontinental Title vs. Career Match, No Mercy.  If there was one match I wish I could have actually had the opportunity to see live, it would have been this one.  No Mercy was held right in my backyard, and I did not attend, mostly because I didn't exactly have the money to afford a ticket.  But watching the match through cameras was about as good as you could ask for.  These two built up their feud brilliantly both in the ring and on the mic, and it culminated in what may very well have been the magnum opus of both men's careers. All the tricks Miz used to keep his title from Ziggler over the course of this feud, from a run in by the Spirit Squad to Maryse spraying something in Ziggler's face, could not stop Dolph from achieving his goal.  Sadly, this match was not the main event, but it was at least placed higher in the card than Styles vs. Cena or Zayn vs. Owens.  Truly an emotional victory, not just for Ziggler, but for the fans watching.  The expression on the face of The Miz after losing the match told us everything we needed to know.  You couldn't ask for a better performance from either guy.

#1 – Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks, 30 Minute Iron Woman Match for the Raw Women's Championship, Roadblock: End of the Line.  Words do not do this match justice.  The culmination of an eight month feud, where there was no rematch clause and the only way to win was to outlast your opponent.  Some people have complained about Sasha tapping out with two seconds left in regulation to tie the score and force overtime, saying why couldn't she just wait the extra two seconds.  But for me, I was on the edge of my seat wondering if she was going to hold on and break Charlotte's PPV winning streak or give in to the pressure.  It was a stirring moment for me.  Really, I can't describe this match here, because you have to see it for yourself to see how amazing it was and how far the women in WWE have come since even two years ago. Honestly, this match should have been the main event of Roadblock, and it was a shame it wasn't.  Still, both women had the best showing of the night, and for putting on an amazing feud filled with awesome matches ending in this memorable encounter, Sasha Banks and Charlotte get my vote for Match of the Year.

Well, that was a great trip down memory lane.  I got to relive a few moments that will probably live on in my mind for a while to come, and I managed to keep myself entertained throughout my time writing these posts.  I'm not entirely sure what I'll be writing about from here on out, but I suppose I'll have to figure that out when I get there.  My thanks to anyone who read all of these entries.  I know I can be a bit wordy at times (hence the name of the awards), but really, I thoroughly enjoy this form of entertainment, and I'm not afraid to say it.  It's a fun, weird form of entertainment, and really, that's what entertainment should be anyway.  But that's my opinion.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 22nd April 2018 - Nicki Minaj and David Guetta Edition

Let’s just get on with it.

Top 10

Alright, so we do have a new number-one, with “One Kiss” by Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa jumping up two spots to claim its throne only a week after its debut. I mean, I’d rather it be this than what it was two weeks ago, but this isn’t really that much of an improvement over what is now at the runner-up spot.

Yes, that’s right, Drake’s “Nice for What” has fell off of its debut – which is something I didn’t really expect to happen. I think it will regain its position sometime, however, and you can quote me on that.

At number-three, going down a single spot from its runner-up position last time, we have a song.

“Paradise” by George Ezra creeps up a spot to number-four.

“These Days” by Rudimental featuring Jess Glynne, Dan Caplen and Macklemore continues its slow descent to number-five, which is okay – it had a good run.

“Friends” by Marshmello and Anne-Marie still won’t budge at number-six.

“Lullaby” by Sigala featuring Paloma Faith has strangely moved up two spaces to number-seven.

“Feel it Still” by Portugal. The Man, similarly to “Friends”, won’t move out of the number-eight position.

“Psycho” by Post Malone featuring Ty Dolla $ign has moved up a spot to number-nine, probably because of the next spot’s absolute freefall.

At number-ten, we have “This is Me” by Keala Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble barely holding on after a three-spot tumble.

Climbers

So, the top 10 is pretty stable, but is anything shifting up in the 30 less popular songs? I mean, not really anything that notable. Off the debuts, we have “Answerphone” by Banx & Ranx and Ella Eyre featuring Yxng Bane moving up seven spaces into the top 20 at #18, as well as “Mad Love” by Sean Paul featuring Becky G and David Guetta up 14 spaces to #25. The big story here, however, is definitely Cardi B’s swift 17-space uptake for “I Like It” with Bad Bunny and J Balvin, now at #23. I can see this becoming a big hit.

Fallers

There were a lot of earlier 2018 and even late 2017 hits that fell this week, but none of them all that big. We had “Breathe” by Jax Jones featuring Ina Wroldsen down five spaces to #27, “IDGAF” by Dua Lipa down seven spaces to #28, “SAD!” by XXXYIKES down five spaces to #29, “A Million Dreams” by Ziv Zaifman, Hugh Jackman and Michelle Williams down seven spaces to #33, “Sanctify” by Years & Years down six spaces to #35, “Never Enough” by Loren Allred down eight spaces to #36 and “All the Stars” by Kendrick Lamar and SZA down five spaces to #39. It should also be noted that “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran is now being credited as the duet version with Beyoncé as it goes down five spaces to #38. The BBC and Charts Company are very inconsistent about that.

Dropouts and Returning Entries

Now, we are gathered here today to mourn the losses of “Dreams” by Ruti from #14, “Wasted Times” by The Weeknd from #30, “Pray for Me” by The Weeknd and Kendrick Lamar from #32, “Fine Line” by Mabel featuring Not3s from #35, “I See You Shining” by Nines from #37, and finally, “Dancing” by Kylie Minogue from #39. Nothing terribly tragic or even important here, and no returning entries, so I think we should get straight into the new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “Like I Do” – David Guetta, Martin Garrix and Brooks

Two David Guetta tracks debuted this week and I’m going to assume right off the bat that they’re just bland EDM or electro house tracks with a pitch-shifted hook and a tropical tinge.

What? Did you expect it not be exactly what I expected from David “I Made One Good Song, Let’s Do It Another 72 Times” Guetta? No, but I am somewhat surprised by how punchy these house synths are in the drop, with some alarm sounds for good measure and pounding percussion, as well as that throbbing bassline. The pitch-shifted vocals are repetitious and assumingly a sample, but they fit in the synth noise that is the verse’s instrumental, which also has some subtle... tambourines? Damn, Guetta, you really went all out for this. Yeah, I’m sad to say this about a track I was so downbeat about, and to an extent, three artists I don’t care for, but, yeah, this is pretty damn good. Exciting and straight-to-the-point dance music, with all artists having a damn good jab at it.

#37 – “Flames” – David Guetta and Sia

Now, this is more what I expected. A flat melody with some extra tropical synths and Sia being completely wasted. Sounds like David Guetta, right? Well, not really. It’s got a chugging guitar melody to back it up, a steady drum pattern and Sia is underused but still kills it as always. I especially love the chorus, where it goes into a burst of celebratory, triumphant electro-pop, as Sia sees how many ways she can mispronounce “flames”. It’s not amazing, and neither is “Like I Do” for that matter, but man, I’m surprised by how much I like this, considering my distaste for Guetta’s music in the past. I hope Sia has a new album out soon, by the way. I’ve missed her.

#31 – “Barbie Tingz” – Nicki Minaj

You do not know how hyped I have been to listen to these two new Nicki Minaj tracks. I don’t tend to bother with pre-album singles, but since I kind of have to for this show, I gave these two a shot to see if my expectations are met. Honestly, this production is somewhat underwhelming. Tribal drums would usually be an immediate appeal for me, but it’s drowned out in reverb and a weak droning circus-synth that they call a bassline. I like the constant ad-libs, though, they add some flavour - and Nicki’s still great on the mic as always, with some decent rhymes as well as the fantastic flows and unique delivery we all know her for. I wanted to like this so much more, but sadly, Nicki’s new producer can’t keep up with the woman herself. I’m still excited for her new album, of course – I love Nicki’s personality and skill as an MC enough that I could probably listen to a whole project of disappointing tracks and give it a positive score.

#30 – “German” – EO

Andalé, andalé, EO, EO, uh-oh! What’s popping tonight?

I have no idea who this EO dude is, but like Nines from last week, the dude sure has a joke-bank of names. Seriously, these British faux-reggae rappers need to start working on their stage name game. Oh, yeah, the music – well, I’ve talked about this song before. At least, I think so. I’ve heard this autotuned croon with some mediocre lyricism, weak reverb-addict dancehall production and steel pan/trap snare combination for the percussion a few times before. Hmm... Let’s just say that if I wanted to listen to German music, I’d go for Kraftwerk.

This isn’t even in German, it’s just about foreign jewellery, foreign cars and foreign women. I mean, why German? It’s not stereotypically a luxurious country or anything; you’d expect a rapper to say that their cars and their girls are from like France, right? Is that just me? I don’t care – skip this trash.

#26 – “Chun-Li” – Nicki Minaj

Is that a man singing with an incredibly nasal nose or a bee buzzing for that synth? I can’t tell. Either way, Nicki is steps ahead from her served production as with “Barbie Tingz”, with intimidating, albeit melodramatic, spoken interludes and catchy fire bars, some of it being pretty impressively freestyled... which you can tell with the “Call me 2 Chainz, name go ding-dong” line. Yeah, that’s pretty questionable, but otherwise, yeah, with some less underwhelming production, this would have been a certified banger. As it is, it’s just some dude blowing his nose over an otherwise bland trap-rap track. Nicki, get some better dudes behind the keys next time, because this newly-hired guy isn’t doing too well.

#20 – “Let Me” – ZAYN

Oh, my God! It’s the lead single from former One Direction member turned R&B bad boy Zany Milk’s sophomore album... even though he released two singles prior but let’s just presume those were for buzz. This is the real thing! It’s going to be amazing! It’s going to be ground-breaking! It’s going to be a trap banger with production that is breathtaking and not watered down! It’s going to have meaningful, conscious lyrics that do not mention vanilla ice cream! It’s not going to have Zayn’s skin-crawlingly weak falsetto! It’s not going to have a jumbled mess of a chorus! It’s going to be a powerful, triumphant “stick-it-to-the-man” anthem with experimental instrumentation and a rebellious attitude to the lyrics! It’s not going to be the lazily trend-hopping BS that Zayn otherwise decides to sing on! It’s going to be new, fresh and exciting! Yeah...

Nope.

Conclusion

Nothing here knocked my socks off, but nothing here forced to me to put shoes on and go out for a walk. Best of the Week goes for “Like I Do” by David Guetta and co., with his other single with Sia, “Flames” getting the Honourable Mention. Worst of the Week is pretty obviously “German” by EO, with Dishonourable Mention going to “Let Me” by ZAYN. Nicki Minaj doesn’t take anything, which is sad because I thought she’d bring home Best of the Week. We’ll see how that album is, though, in a few weeks. For now, see ya next time!