#as if reiji would like it xd

[married-to-google-translater]

Request: diabolik lovers (I don’t mind who) with a reader who doesn’t get phased with shit, don’t get me wrong they have a personality but like you could annoy them for hours and they wouldn’t care

This is for Reiji and Ayato

Kanato is here

Reiji Sakamaki

This would definitely be one of the reasons why Reiji would fall in love with you.

He would be a "mother figure" to all his brothers.

Definitely not the gentle kind XD

It would be nice to have someone around who knows how to behave.

At first, this would be the only reason he would keep you around.

However, with time, more reasons would start to emerge.

Over time, Reiji would become more protective of you.

The others would learn that the easiest way to get on Reiji's bad side was to annoy you.

Because of this, you were able to be at peace for the most part.

Now you could spend more time with Reiji.

As for sharing your time, Reiji wouldn't be the biggest fan.

Especially if he had to share with Shu.

So just stay with him

Ayato Sakamaki

Oh, with this guy, you'd need all the patience you've got.

Especially in the beginning, Ayato would be a challenging case.

This man would be obsessed with provoking you to test your reactions.

He would be mildly disappointed if it didn't work.

Ayato couldn't explain why but he would enjoy your company.

This is why he "mercifully" spends so much time with you.

According to Ayato, you should be grateful and give him your blood.

You were always fun to be with and you made great takoyaki.

Best to wait for a "nice" or nice nickname lol.

Ayato would definitely pick a fight with his brothers if they bothered you.

He would assume you would be grateful for this.

Mighty Ore-Sama would keep you safe~

[yuikomorii]

Am I the only one that thinks that they keep nerfing Yui’s academics game by game? If I remember right, she was supposed to be good at school in a Toukuten (was it written like that?) but in the games she seems to struggle getting good grades? But maybe I remember wrong so sorry for that 🥲

// A good student, in my opinion, is one who tries to study and complete their assignments, even if they find it difficult and their results aren't always the best. For this reason, I’d call Yui a hard-working student but with average performance. Besides, it’s really uncommon to discover someone truly so intelligent that they consistently achieve academic excellence with ease.

Those group Tokutens are bonus CDs made just for funny moments, therefore it should come as no surprise that all characters will be written OOC for the sake of plottwists and giggles. Yui is the same person who literally wanted to bonk the triplets’ head with a hammer so as to make them switch back to normal in the Body Swap CD, and I truly doubt game Yui would come with such a violent idea. xD

I’m also pretty sure it’s implied that Yui has a low-learning ability, which is something very mentioned by Japanese fans, so it’s kinda obvious that she won’t be able to get some things as quick as others. I also believe everyone can succeed in every subject if they pay attention to it in class and put some additional effort BUT it's true that some lessons are tougher to catch than others, if the subject is not your strong point.

Nevertheless, I find it funny how Yui always complains about school, even in CL. Ruki and Reiji act like her parents when it comes to this and she genuinely sounds so helpless that it makes me want to tutor her too, lol.

Hey Yui… just saying, if you need help with any of the quadratic formulae, equations, or foreign languages… I'm here! 👀👉🏻👈🏻

Translations belong to: dialovers-translations and kyouxa on Tumblr

[entamewitchlulu]

If I knew so many people would give you Reiji I'd have given you a different character SDJKGFK

Masumi for a round two??

only seeing this now ;lkdjfa;dlsjasfa anyway it's my own fault for being so predictable XD

Why I like them/why I don’t

I looooooove Masumi because she's mean lol. like she'll just snipe people for no reason. She's really perfect rival material in terms of yugioh and it's a shame there wasn't really space in the narrative for her to be more prominent. Still, her short-lived rivalry with Yuzu was really good for both of them narratively. I really love just how she gets to be smug and a little bit arrogant, and then also gets to be the sort of rival tsundere towards Yuzu like Kaiba is to Yugi lol. she deserves it <3

What I like about their appearance

she's soooo pretty ;w; it's unfortunately so rare to see brown characters in yugioh so she stands out in that regard and she's just generally has such a nice design and palette?? the only thing i'm unsure about is what is happening with her outfit sldkjf;slajfasdl

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

Original for sure. there's nothing wrong with Julia Krystal, it's just kinda whatever. Masumi is cuter.

OTP

lol Yuzu for sure and forever <3 though i'm partial to shipping her with pretty much any of the bracelet girls. I just think Masumi should have a hundred girlfriends

NOTP

nothing particularly springs to mind, though she does personally strike me as a lesbian so I don't prefer to ship her with dudes

OT3

if I have to pick JUST ONE combo, it would be Masumi/Yuzu/Selena. But the ideal situation is Masumi in a bracelet girls sandwich

Favourite card they use

Gem Knights as a whole are soooo good but I really love Lapis Lazuli's design

Favourite moment they were in

When she was falling and Yuzu sent her monster to catch her and Masumi looked up at Yuzu and blushed i die every time

Least favourite moment

none, she elevates all moments she's in <3

Would I fuck, marry or kill them

probably marry i suppose? her family's got a gem business so they're probably well off lol. and she's pretty and mean <3

[megaderping]

Someone should write an AU fic where Reiji Kido from Persona 1 ends up as Goro Akechi's guardian because I think it would be cool. Reiji would work well as a guardian for Goro because... - Also a bastard child - Knows what it's like to be driven by bitterness and revenge - Ends up in a better place, able to find happiness in his adult years - Unlike Shido, when he got his girlfriend pregnant, he stuck with her and proposed And I think that kind of role model would be so good for a younger Akechi. Someone like that would be able to see Akechi's pain and course correct, because I think he'd see himself in him. I guess you can take this as a free plotbunny? I'm too busy with The Crow Cries at Midnight to take on another AU. xD

[tom-cobalt]

And you're supposed to be Leo's rival for love for this Tom?

DAAAMN, you're ugly af dude or at least in the inside

- 🌊⚔️ / Jessica Jackson

Ooc: I succumbed to the temptations and currently I'm in Lys' blog. Hi Feathers^^

UGLY?!

I am very, Pretty, than you very much! Unlike you!

- 🍋‍🟩

(Fun fact, design wise, I inspired myself in Shu and Reiji Sakamaki from DL, to give Lime a sort of… Dark Romance vibe to him. Though in would be funny. Also, to show Dark Romance is toxic like lime XD)

[roseytheteacup]

Can you do headcannons about human reader age 13/14 with the shamaki/mukami brothers

Sure I'll give it my best shot

-Sakamaki

when you were dropped off at their house they were confused

"Um why is there a child here "

you explained you were dropped off by a church member because they thought they were a "welcoming family" because of the people that were brought to them as sacrificial brides which this member didn't know,but you didn't care a place to stay other than the church and you get to explore stuff without them telling you what to do you weren't complaining.

you kinda were like "sup"

and you explained what was going on

first ayato made fun of you for being short

or if you were tall like me in middle school Subaru is probably holding his laughter about how you and ayato were they same height(I believe he was 5'7,I was the same height at 13/14)

Well they didn't mind honestly I see Reiji giving you some books for early high school prep

now when a person comes to ask you out regardless of gender they are going to overprotective brothers especially if the person is a young vampire in your class

the numbnuts would probably try to make front of kanato after either Laito kicks him out or you reject them

Let's say you learn not only self defense but you learn how to use a body as fertilizer for new flowers in the garden

Gardening 101 XD

-Muakami

I don't know much about diabolik lovers besides the anime and bits and pieces I found on the internet about the manga and games but I feel like you may accidentally stumble upon their home either running away from crappy family or same situation above

They are a bit more calm about this sorta ordeal seeing as they didn't have the greatest upbring and they didn't have a home a lot

You bet big brother Ruki is giving you your own library because he wants you to be well informed and since they have extra rooms he needs something to do besides keep the other 3 menaces calm

"So here we have some historical books you might - Yuma drop kou I know your mad he went in your room, wait where's - AZUZSA DROP THE KNIFE"

bro getting gray hairs and not even fully alive

Yuma definitely teaches you how to prank you like switching his shampoo with white hair dye

"Oh hey little kitten - wait why are you laughing?"

Kou does the same and teaches you how to prank yuma like by writing "Garden Hoe" on his forehead

Lets say this rival will be going on until the end of time

and Azuzsa teaches you how to use knifes since you are at a decent age to know some knife tricks

now unlike liking pain for others you get hurt he starts crying and wraping you up like mummy

"There all better- I know it's just a little cut but you could lose your arm"

the cut was the size of a speck

All in all all of them will treat you with great care know if you were a little devil child have fun on the street and no I'm not talking about my friendly satanist or my goth and emo teacups I'm reffering to those children that will eat half a wall then get upset that we let them do it

[diabolikpersonals]

It's been a while since I've sent you anything, but I am working on Mirror AU stuff and might have some more thoughts to send you tomorrow!

But for now, I leave you with this thought:

• Mirror!ReijiRuki's dynamic reminds me a lot of the Buzzfeed Unsolved guys. Mirror!Reiji is a skeptic who would go out of his way to piss off a ghost/another vampire/etc., while Mirror!Ruki has strong survival instincts and is trying very hard to get Mirror!Reiji to chill out and Not do that.

- Mirror Anon

LMAOOOO mirror reiji ISNT afraid of ghosts xD

glad to hear ur working on the mirror au!! have you decided what medium to use yet, like a fic or a fangame etc?

[pdutogepi]

It's so nice to see Duel Links give the ARC-V characters another chance to shine, after the show fell from the fandom's graces. I hope its storyline doesn't end with a reset button being pressed, though...

Also, Serena's interactions are the funniest! 😂 But that reveal about the Bracelet Girls being more or less Reiji's older sisters (despite being younger than him XD) caught a lot of people by surprise - particularly the Serena x Reiji shippers XD Hopefully she finds the family she craved for so long with Yuzu and the Lancers ^_^

I doubt the storyline for Duel Links will end in any kind of bad way. I have a feeling those behind the game want to give us the interactions and closure the actual show never gave us with the characters and they've been doing a great job at it so far! Granted I feel the counterparts, as of now, ARE still part of Yuya and Yuzu, but can exist separately in Duel Links due to it's ability to create things from memories, but it's better than them not existing at all. I've always personally considered the bracelet girls could very well be related to Reiji still, so Serena did make a very valid point, but it's one of those things that's not really clear or up for interpretation by the viewer, so if people want to consider them not related, then that's fine too! I do like that she sees Reiji and Yuzu as family though. It really made me feel sorry for her that she thought that no one would be waiting for her to come back. I'm excited to see what her and Yuri's interactions will be like when it's his turn to get introduced to the game. I kinda hope they can build the friendship they were never actually able to have with each other.

[irisviel101]

Following up on that, what are your favorite things about the MFB saga as a whole? What are your least favorite things?

Favorite things: Nostalgia XD

Just kidding. If I had to point out one thing in particular, well, it would be the characters I guess. Sure, some of them are pretty one note and let's be real, MFB is not the pinnacle of writing, but the characters are endearing and it's fun to watch them grow and interact with each other. Whenever I see the show, I want to see them succeed. I'm someone who can compromise anything for good characters in a show; poorly written characters are a deal breaker for me no matter how good a show might be. MFB, in my opinion, has a really solid cast of characters.

I also like that when the show wants to get dark, it gets dark dark. I mean, have you seen Reiji's fights with everyone in the Battle Bladers, all of Ryuuga's fight in the Battle Bladers, Tsuabsa's arc with the Dark Power, Toby and Zoe's plotline in the end of Metal Masters, and these are just the ones from the top of my head.

Least favorite things: These tie a bit into the above. My absolute least favorite thing in MFB is how underused some characters are, like Hikaru, Hyoma, Benkei and even Ryo to name a few. The characters MFB does utilize are great, but for every character that gets the spotlight, there are several that get shoved to the background. I wouldn't really mind this so much of those characters weren't set up to be interesting. We had Hikaru's PTSD that could have been explored more. Gingka's relationship with Hyoma and more about him in general. And worst of all, Benkei getting a character arc in Metal Fury when he's one of the main characters.

Another thing I don't like is how characters who are set up to ve really strong never seem to win beyond one or two fights. Like Hyoma and Hikaru in the first season; they barely won against any named characters. And even in Shogun Steel, Kite doesn't win a single battle without synchrome, I believe. So, yeah, that annoys me a bit.

[itfitsitshipsart]

Hiya Ev!!! This ask game has some really good questions, so I'll pick Midnight Rain, Question…? and Hits Different for any f/o you wanna gush about :3

( @pixelselfships )

Yes, I would love to answer more questions! Help me with my sudden extra loving of Reiji (it went from like, 0 to 60 so quickly XD)

Midnight Rain: If you and your F/O have been in a lengthy relationship, how have the two of you changed and grown since the start of your relationship or have you stayed the same?

I don't think my S/I changes too much through the relationship. Though she starts to be a little more confident and graceful. And she does end up denying the teaching the church left her with of demons and their sinful ways. She loves these so-called monsters and would choose Reiji over them if forced an option.

Reiji gets some heavy character development though! He grows more comfortable in who he is and his shortcomings, he faces lots of guilt that he's been holding for years. He grows to better his relationship with his brothers (some more than others), and follows his dream to become king.

Question…?: If you had the opportunity to ask your F/O one question, what would it be? 

It would be 'why?' Just, why would have fallen in love with me, of all people or vampires. He lowered his standards for me.

The answer though, I know, is that he didn't plan it, and it just happened. He fell in love and didn't know how or why, but once he felt it, he couldn't bear to let these feelings go.

Hits Different: How has being with your F/O changed your life?

Well, I guess the biggest thing is that my S/I, being with him, became royalty and then queen. Considering she was just a plebeian human, a humble girl working at her church and possibly going to be a nun, this was a big change XD

[married-to-google-translater]

Hello, I could request a Yuma, Shu, Subaru (and if possible Reiji) having a crush on the human who studies at school. Thanks ♡

This is for Subaru and Shuu

Reiji is here

Others come later~

Subaru Sakamaki

It all started when you got into the same group project.

You worked together a lot. At first, Subaru didn't pay much attention.

There was something different about you though.

You were always kind to Subaru.

He really wasn't used to this kind of behavior.

Subaru wouldn't have the best reputation at school.

Many people were afraid of him.

Subaru would consider himself a monster and assume that everyone else sees him the same way.

However, you wouldn't. Because of this, Subaru would distance itself from you.

This would be bad if you had school projects together XD

However, a Tsundere has to do what a Tsundere has to do.

Subaru might also be tighter around you.

He really wouldn't understand you.

However, Subaru couldn't run away forever even if he tried.

Shu Sakamaki

Shu and you met because of a school project.

You certainly weren't happy about this.

Shu really didn't have a good reputation when it came to school projects.

It was very likely that you would have to do the whole project alone.

Oh yeah, this was going to be hard.

And that's how it turned out because the project went exactly as you thought.

You did almost all the work and Shu did almost none.

However, your teachers didn't know that.

They think you two would be a dream team.

Only when the subject of the presentation was classical music would Shu wake up.

It turns out that you have at least one common interest.

Because of this, Shu would become kinder to you and you would become much closer.

Shu would definitely want to keep you away from his brothers.

Especially Reiji.

[yuikomorii]

Its fascinating how Laito has the second highest grades of all the Sakamakis, considering how he never touched a study book in his life😅It shows how naturally intelligent and intuitive he is , and imagine if he put like 10% effort into that, i believe he would outsmart Reiji and completely dominate him in most subjects.

I just started listening to the cd dramas and ive read how people praise him for being big brain and cunning and ye im starting to see why now

// Hate to break it to you Anon but I’m pretty sure that grade post was a misunderstanding or a joke because I remember Ayato being placed on the third place in terms of grades there and out of the triplets, I’m confident he’s the least prone to open a book for school. 😭😭

In terms of canon grades throughout the routes, I’m 100% sure Reiji is on top. Yui is bad at maths, physics, science, English, PE and chemistry but at least she tries and thanks to Reiji’s help, I guess she can get better grades than the other Sakamakis. The triplets and Subaru don’t care about tests and Shu sleeps during them despite knowing how to solve what’s there. xD

However, I do think Laito is smarter than Reiji and everyone in general. He knows everything and, not counting the Tokutens CDs since everyone is OOC there for plottwists or funny moments, he is the character with the least dumb moments. I can’t even remember any of them to begin with.

[sadistic-foureyes]

Reiji, what's your opinion on how so may girls (and men as well but probably not as many) are getting turned on by the H-scene audio of you moaning in bed...

Reiji: “Whoever put this thing online needs to be punished severely. This audio is indecent, and I am not fond of such audios.”

[pendulum-sonata]

Ray: *sing-song* Ah-ha! Yes, yes, yes-yes-yes! You cheated. Perfect, proper Reiji cheated! Hot damn, I love tournaments!

Reiji: I only did that because I knew you would cheat!

Ray: Still cheated! Welcome down to my level!

[strawberry--bride]

Couple version : 7 and reiji

Ship art meme 2/6

Reiji x Sharon (pose 7)

!! I am currently not taking any more requests for these, so please do not try and send something in. !!

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS LOST EDEN WonderGOO Tokuten Drama CD ”Coffin Decoration ~ Out of the Counsel of Three comes the Greatest Fashion Sense”

Original title: 棺桶★デコレーション～三人寄れば最強のセンス!?～

Source: Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN WonderGOO Tokuten Drama CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Midorikawa Hikaru, Takashi Kondou & Tatsuhisa Suzuki

Translator’s note: This CD added three days to my lifespan with how absolutely ADORABLE Subaru is. ;w; I love it when he gets super excited about coffins and such, haha. That being said, Ayato and Yuma were hilarious in this CD as well. I loved how they all work together in the end to make what is probably the strangest coffin in all of human and Vampire history. xD 

Ayato: …Goddamnit, Reiji. Can he just stop complainin’ ‘bout every single damn thing? I’m not the only one whose room is a mess! It’s my room so it can be as messy as I want it to be, right? …Huh?

Ayato suddenly comes to a halt.

Ayato: Is that…?

Subaru: …

Ayato approaches Subaru. 

Ayato: Oi, Subaru! Whatcha doin’ over here? …It doesn’t happen every day that Mr. Shut-In leaves his room. 

*Rustle*

Subaru: Shut up!! It’s none of your fuckin’ business, is it!? I’m busy right now so leave me alone!

Ayato: Busy? All you’re doin’ is lookin’ inside some store. …Ah? 

*Rustle* 

Ayato: What’s this? 

Subaru: Can’t you tell? It’s a customizable coffin. 

Ayato: Oh. Now that you mention it, it does have these weird decorations on it. …Oh! Are those different kinds of sweets and candy on top? Interestin’! 

Subaru: You like that overly cutesy one? The one on the far right is obviously the coolest!

Ayato: Hah? The one with the black wings? …Also could they have fit on any more skulls? It’s way too much.

Yuma approaches them.

Yuma: …Aah? If it isn’t the Loudmouth and the Shut-In. What brings ya two here? 

Ayato: Subaru wants to decorate his coffin, apparently. 

Yuma: Decorate? Is that the sorta thing you’re into mate? 

Subaru: I’m not…!! I never said I’d actually do it, did I!?

Ayato: But you’ve been lookin’ at this even way before I came here, right? I bet you actually want to give it a try.

Subaru: …!! W-Well…

Yuma: Heeh…Well, check it out! It says that right now, ya can put on as many ornaments as ya can fit on there!

Subaru: …

Ayato: If you’re too scared to go inside by yourself, I can come with you? I’ll even help you pick out some stuff! I’ll sniff out the real cool stuff!

Subaru: …I can only see this endin’ badly. 

Yuma: In that case, I’ll tag along too! Let’s make a coffin that would turn anyone into a shut-in. (1)

Subaru: You guys are makin’ fun of me, aren’t you? Besides, aren’t you outside for a reason as well!? 

Yuma: Yeah. I’m on my way to buy stuff for tonight’s dinner. But I still have plenty time, so it should be fine. 

Ayato: I only left the house to escape from Reiji’s ramblin’. …Come on, let’s go inside already. 

*Rustle* 

Subaru: …Hey!

Ayato: You grab his other arm, Yuma. 

Yuma: Gotcha. 

*Rustle* 

Subaru: …! Ugh…!

Ayato: Don’t worry. You’ll be cryin’ tears of joy by the end.

Yuma: Exactly. Leave it to us!

They drag Subaru inside the store. 

Subaru: As if…!! Why do I have to do this with you two fuckers anyway…!? I can already tell you’re goin’ to turn it into some kind of weird shit…!! …So stop pulling me…!!

*TIMESKIP*

Ayato: Oh…They’ve got so many decorations to choose from. Wow.

Subaru: Aren’t their coffins a lil’ too big as well? This is pretty much twice the size of my current one. 

Yuma: You’ve got a point. This doesn’t look like it’s meant for one person. 

Ayato: What are you sayin’? Not only does it give you more space to work with, but it’ll obviously be more comfortable to sleep in as well!

Yuma: Is that how it works? 

Subaru: Che…I can’t keep up with you idiots any longer. I’m goin’ home. 

Ayato: That kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it? …Let me see…Oh! What do you think ‘bout this one? 

*Rustle* 

Yuma: Ah! Why a huge cross out of all things!? Ya really think this guy will like that?

Ayato: Ah…? I guess you’re right, it’s kinda creepy. Oi, Subaru. Let’s go for somethin’ else after aーー

Subaru: Not bad…

Ayato & Yuma: Haah…!? 

Subaru: I should probably put this one on the lid. Also…It’d look even better by adding a pair of bat wings. …Wait, no! The dragon wings are kind of temptin’ too…

Yuma: No way…That’s the sort of thing he likes? What’s wrong with your lil’ brother’s taste!?

Ayato: Don’t ask me!!

*Rustle* 

Subaru: Oi, you guys should bring me some decorations too. If they’re good, I’ll even use them. 

Ayato: That arrogant tone pisses me off, but seems like he finally got in the mood. …Let’s do this. I’ll put on some weird shit and turn it into the lamest coffin ever seen. Hehe…

Yuma: I mean, I guess this is a decent way to kill some time, so count me in.

Subaru: What are you two whisperin’ ‘bout? 

Ayato: Nothin’! I’ll go fetch somethin’ that’ll blow you out of your socks, so just you wait!

Yuma: You just stick to bein’ your usually loner self and have fun decoratin’ ‘kay? 

*TIMESKIP*

Subaru: …Okay. This should do for the lid. 

Ayato: Oi, Subaru! Check this one out…!!

*Rustle*

Subaru: Ah? What? Also, what took you so damn long!? I’m pretty much done except for the sidーー …Wait, that’s…

*Dun dun*

Ayato: It’s a mini-sized takoyaki grill! If you put this on your coffin, you’ll be able to enjoy takoyaki all while livin’ the loner life! Isn’t that amazing!? 

Subaru: Hard pass! Besides, if I start grillin’ takoyaki inside my coffin, I won’t be able to sleep from the stench afterwards, will I? 

Ayato: Haah? But it’s the best smell in the world…? You really don’t get it. 

Subaru: I’m pretty sure you’re the only person in this world who feels that way. 

Ayato: Fine then. Guess I’ll have to make do with this one instead…

*Rustle rustle* 

Subaru: …Please don’t tell me that round thing is a takoyaki. 

Ayato: Huh? Are you really that stupid? What else does it look like to you? Well, it’s only a decoration and not the real thing though. 

Subaru: But why!? You’re the only person who’d be happy havin’ that thing on their coffin!

Ayato: You already rejected the takoyaki grill so at least let me have this? You’re really provin’ the point that the youngest child is always the most selfish one. 

Yuma walks up to them. 

Yuma: Are ya’ll havin’ an argument again? Ya never grow tired of that, do ya?

Subaru: We’re not! It’s just Ayato’s who’s tryin’ to put stupid shit on my coffin!

Ayato: Ah…? Maybe you should stop shootin’ down all of my suggestions!

Yuma: Oh come on, lay it off. You’re causin’ issues for the store. …Anyway, I brought some stuff with me. 

*Rustle* 

Ayato: Let me see���

*Rustle rustle*

Ayato: Carrots, peppers, eggplant and cabbage…These are all vegetables, aren’t they?

Yuma: Gotta get those greens in. Works wonders for yer health. 

Subaru: No but…Those are not somethin’ you’d put on a coffin, right?

Yuma: Nah, don’t worry. They’re all just incredibly well-made replicas. 

Ayato: Heeh, these as well? After seeing the takoyaki from earlier as well, I have to say that they really upped their replica game. 

Subaru: That’s not the issue…!! What I’m tryin’ to say is that these don’t fit the aesthetic at all!

Yuma: Hah…? You are in no position to judge, are you!? The fuck did you do to this coffin? 

Ayato: Geh…! Now that you mention it, Subaru’s creation is��on a whole different level. 

Yuma: Skulls and crows…Ah? And are those thorny vines and snakes running across? 

Ayato: And can we also mention the really creepy face in the middle? Is that a monster of some sort?

Subaru: Take a proper look! It’s a devil! Can’t you see its horns? 

Ayato: Do devils have horns?

Yuma: Beats me. …Or rather, why would a Vampire put that on their coffin? 

Subaru: I just thought the design looked cool, that’s all. 

Ayato: Then these spider web-like patterns were done on purpose too? 

Subaru: Obviously. 

Yuma: I don’t get it. 

Ayato: I don’t even want to understand. 

Yuma: Guess I have no other choice but to fix it up for ya a lil’...

*Rustle rustle* 

Subaru: Oi! Don’t be changin’ the composition without my permission!

Yuma: Oh come on, just watch. 

*Rustle rustle* 

Yuma: First you put this here…and then…

*Rustle rustle*

Yuma: …There we go! The carrots add a nice touch, don’t ya think?

Ayato: Heeh…You had the crows hold carrots with their feet, huh? 

Subaru: I mean…I guess it doesn’t look half bad…

Ayato: …Oh!

*Ping* 

Ayato: I just had a genius idea as well…! If I put the takoyaki inside this lizard’s mouth…

*Rustle rustle* 

Yuma: Ah! I kind of like it!

Subaru: Say, don’t you think the eggplant would fit well with the color palette as well? 

Ayato: It’s purple after all! Why don’t you try wrapping one of those chains around it?

*Cling cling* 

Subaru: …Not bad. 

Ayato: Let’s add a basketball while we’re at it as well. See? It looks good with a crown of thorns placed on top of it.

Yuma: In that case…The cabbage should go inside the skull, right?

Subaru: No, wait. Tomatoes would work way better. 

Yuma: I’d say we go for cherry tomatoes then. It’d look way better if we stuff a bunch of them inside. 

Subaru: Yuma, you…You’re a genius!

Ayato: Oi, Subaru. We need somethin’ big which really stands out. 

Subaru: Ah, now that you mention it…I saw a spider ornament with really long legs earlier. It didn’t click with me earlier, but it might actually improve the overall design! I’ll go get it!

Ayato: Yeah! We’ll decorate some of the other empty spaces while you’re gone. 

Yuma: Hurry up, ‘kay?

Subaru: Kuh…Don’t mess it up!

Subaru runs off.

*TIMESKIP*

*Rustle*

Subaru: …It’s perfect!

Ayato: Yeah! We created a true masterpiece!

Yuma: We didn’t skimp on the details after all. 

Subaru: I was kind of worried for a sec…But I never thought the end result would be this good!

Ayato: That’s all thanks to my help. 

Yuma: What are ya sayin’? I’m the one who did such a great job with the composition. 

Subaru: Hah…? We were able to achieve this result because I did the lid first.

Ayato: Excuse me!? 

Subaru: Got a problem, huh!? 

Yuma: For the millionth time, don’t start fightin’ inside the store! …Anyway, don’t we need to square up now?

Subaru: Ah, right…

Ayato: I hope you’re not gonna tell us you don’t have any money.

Subaru: Hah? Of course I do!

Subaru walks to the counter. 

Yuma: Anyway, how much does one of these cost? 

Ayato: Hah? Didn’t you say that there’s an all-you-can-fit deal? You must have seen the price then, no? 

Yuma: Nah, I didn’t pay attention to that.

Subaru: (muffled) ーー Haah!? Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me!? 

Ayato: …!? What’s that guy’s problem? Why is he shoutin’ out of nowhere? 

Yuma: Should we go take a look? 

Ayato and Yuma walk up to him.

Ayato: Oi, what’s up?

Yuma: Did ya forget yer wallet? 

Subaru: I didn’t! But look at the damn total!

Yuma: The price? …Ahー It’s surprisingly…expensive, huh? 

Subaru: I don’t have nearly enough money on me. 

Yuma: I’ve only got some small change as well. …I mean, there’s the money Ruki gave me to buy food butーー If I use that, my head will be on the choppin’ block…

Ayato: Oh geez, guess I have no other choice. I can easily pay this mu…

*Rustle* 

Ayato: Hm…?

Subaru: Ayato…

Ayato: Now that you mention it, I didn’t bring my wallet with me. 

Yuma: First ya talk all big and now this!? 

Subaru: Or rather…If my pocket money isn’t nearly enough, I doubt addin’ yours to it will make much of a different. 

Ayato: Ahーah. We put so much time and effort into it as well. 

Yuma: We should have probably checked the price tag first.

Subaru: Haah…My coffin…I’ve decided! I’ll start a part-time job at this store and one day that coffin shall be mine!

Yuma: Haah!? What are ya sayin’...!? 

Ayato: It’s not worth goin’ that for, is it? 

Subaru: Right! You two should come work here with me as well. I’ll go have a word with the manager, so stay right here, ‘kay!?

Subaru runs off.

Ayato & Yuma: Haahーー!?

 ーー THE END ーー