#as if im not astronomically down bad as it is

[jaylaxies]

good afternoon WHAT THE FUCK JAKE SIM AND PARK JONGSEONG????

[quintinh43]

OH MY GOD???!

That's it. I'm dead.

[raptorladylover6969]

oh my lord treat me like one of your raptors pls Raptor Lady. I can cook and clean. I can provide. I AM ON MY HANDS AND KNEES PLEEEEEEEASSSSEEEEUHHHHHHH 🙁🙁🙁🙁

[soulmvtes]

being a lover girl will have you gifting your crush a handwritten book of your favourite poems...

[estellexe]

lil wip for an art trade.. bonus points if you can guess who's outfit he's wearing

[boxwinebaddie]

heeeeello party people!~ super bacteria uncle nina here using my silly tumblr to cope again ( my culture came back and it was...suuuuper fucking bad! like i knew it would be, lol! awesome! <3 thanks, god! )

but we're not thinking about, what were gonna think about is the time that ravenstan got a little Too tipsy topsy turvy on jerseyky boxwine,

( it's the cab sav one, fyi. i can't drink on all these Fucknut Antibiotics - they prescribed me the wrong one and i took it, if you can believe it; i luv doctors - can y'all believe i did this shit Sober? unREAL, brohs! )

and was on tiktok live, the dawn spawns of the world convinced him to do the 'White Boy Of The Month' filter bc he's too impressionable and what can i say;

The Man LOVES White Boys. ;) xxx

( helpsksdj )

so, he started doing it and was like 'nooooo, is /KYLE/ on this one?!?! You're Joking.' ( everyone said 'JK <3' because they all think they're jimmy valmer stand-up sit-down comedians, smh...but no, naught joking, Actually JK bc in my ncau-niverse, cd and the blondies gang are celebrities, so naturally they’re on A Lot of social filters )

so he was GOING to save The No.1 slot...for the no.1 slut ( if you will, ) my ginger gringo king, ceo of dark academic debauchery and bottom feeding ;), new jay's finest - literally - kyley b matthew broflovski; <33 ( buuuut! he's a reformed manhoe; so watchya mowtH! )

buuuuut x2 ( and i'd say it's a big butt, but it's not, it's ravenstan, so it's flatter than the sidewalk; luh you flat stanley ) Gaydhd Won Again and tipsy ravenstan got distracted by all the FINE ASS WHITE MEN and started getting philosophical about it ( that man put a lil too much #thot into those placings; he was born for it, soz )

had about two spots left ( the top and bottom spots; i am laughing ) figured that there was almost 'No Chance!' he would get jersey...

PUT /MATTHEW! GRAY! GUBLER!/ AT ONE ( Immaculate Taste, btw! he also put jacob elordi at number two because he is a fucking genius and that...really tells you Everything you need to know about my stan. like tall, could probably be a runway model, intellectual, kind of a jackass, stays fitted, accent or eccentric manner of speaking...yeah )

-- BUT HE WANTED TO BE CLEAR, HE HAD TO SPECIFY THAT HE WAS SPECIFICALLY REFERRING TO /DR. SPENCER REID/ OF CRIMINAL MINDS. WHEN I TELL YOU HE HAS NO IDEA WHO MGG IS BUT HE HAS SEEN EVERY EPISODE OF CRIMINAL MINDS SEVERAL TIMES. IT’S LIKE...HIS /FAVORITE/ FKN SHOW. AND HE DOES HAVE A FAT CRUSH ON REID. YES, I DOES TRACK; I KNOW. )

and RIGHT when he was rolling for the very last spot ranking on the filter ( that's the BOTTOM, i repeat, THE B/O/T/T/O/M of the tierlist )

...hE GOT KYLE

FUCKING

BROFLOVSKI

and had to place him at /TEN/.

-- riiiiiiight as Kyle /FUCKING/ Broflovski came out of the kitchen in the dorky ass star of david apron that sheila got him for hannukah, with his hair up and everything, holding a fork so stan could taste...

...T-THE PASTA HE JUST MADE HIM FOR DINNER BECAUSE HE'S A SWEET BEAUTIFUL /ANGEL/....and i'm talking The Very First Bite Of EXTREMELY DELICIOUS KYLE Pasta that he put ZUCCHINI IN JUST FOR STAN BECAUSE HE IS ( what? ) AN ANGEL!! FROM hEAVEN!!!!! AND THE WHITE BOY OF THE /YEAR/: TAKE YA JERSEY SLANDER SOMEWHERE ELSE: HE'S MY WHITE BUOY UVF FOREVA!

...proceeded to Blow On It ;-;, s-so stan wouldn't burn his mouth... ( bc rav always gets too excited and burns his mouth; nooo :c </3 ) and asked him why his phone was blowing up w/ people tagging him in thirst traps of 'That Supa Nerdy Guy From That One Crime Show' and asking him if stan tweeted something about him cooking bc people keep telling him that he's 'Cooked'. SHKDLDHLKS HEEELP.

And....

*rawr xd home mid/hschooled ravenstan vc*

Scene. <3

[zombiyh]

why did they have to make this woman so fking hot?!!!!!! hello?????!

[jayjamjary]

I am going to eat this man alive.

[muttfangs]

weekend from hell and I fell off my ebike on my way home because my inner tube is 100% fucked suddenly because Nothing!!! Can ever go right in my life and that shit needs to of course be professionally replaced so I'm on my friends couch picking gravel out of my palms and cleaning road rash on my knee and I sprained my left hand and it hurts super bad FGFFFFFFUFUKYRSGHEghezjyrdrj FUUUUUUUUUUUCK

[spilledmoonlight]

currently experiencing an incomprehensible level of rock bottom right now

[vilsoo]

me waiting for the new vibrator i just ordered to hurry tf up

[quintinh43]

Look at how gorgeous he is.

I'm so in love.

Someone sedate me.

[violet-ram]

now that the poll is over i submitted weyoun to the smash or pass. hes like elizabeth bennet to me. hes bewitched me body and soul

[bangcakes]

.

[strxnged]

remember to be patient.

[alatusprinz]

the way my fluff ideas flied away completely and all the ideas i have are smut