#as if I needed yet another reason to homeschool

[sadsongsandwaltzes]

I’m not even anti vaxx. But a really easy way to push people that direction is 1. Forcing them to and restricting them of their medical freedom and parental rights 2. Pushing vaccines that do not yet have a clear risk/benefit analysis that proves them beneficial to overall health

[narukoibito]

If you’re up for it - i'm not used to seeing you with clothes on.

Harry had no desire to attend yet another Ministry function, but the tone in Robards' voice made it abundantly clear that if he skipped tonight's he would be suffering desk duty so long that he wouldn't even remember what being in the field was like.

But that didn't mean Harry had to actively participate. Which basically resulted in him sulking in the background along the wall, using those stealth skills the Aurors had trained him so diligently on to avoid small talk and intrusive pawing by one of the desperate singles. He shook off Sirius's talks about his lack of social skills (whose fault was that when he had only ever been homeschooled and hidden away until it was time to fulfill a fucked up fate).

Letting his guard down momentarily, he closed his eyes, letting his mind drift back to a few nights again. He'd learned far too early (finding the hidden stash of fan mail) that being the Boy Who Lived meant there would be no shortage of willing participants. He wasn't one for intimacy (Sirius gave him a hard enough time about it), but that didn't mean he didn't have needs. With a good amount of lubrication and a fair dash of loneliness, he found himself at a bar known for discretion.

That was all fine and dandy.

What he hadn't expected was how much that night stuck with him.

Strange enough, she'd been funny. Her quips making his lips twitch in an unfamiliar way. It had been surprisingly easy when they slipped into one of the many rooms upstairs.

A burning ache rose within him. The door had shut, and he had reached out for her, that reckless smirk, the way her eyelashes fluttered at his touch. Hand wound in silky hair. He swore he could still taste her—

His eyes snapped open at the sound of giggling and heels to his right. Shite, the unfortunate owner of said noise was Romilda Vane, the new secretary in the office who would not relent on her advances, no matter how bluntly Harry avoided them.

He ducked to his left, weaving through the crowd. It'd been an hour, and Robards couldn't say he hadn't shown his face.

Harry turned the corner.

"Oof!"

The wind was knocked out of him by some blur of gold and red.

"Sorry," he said, hands automatically reaching out to steady the blur. He was already taking another step toward the exit when a stray glance had him breathless for an entirely different reason.

The redhead pushed the curtain of her hair out of her face. "No, I..." she trailed off when they made eye contact. "Oh."

He was staring. She had disappeared before the morning light crept through the windows, fulfilling her promise of "no fuss." And for the first time, he'd wished differently. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about her, about the things he wanted to say, if he ever saw her again. He opened his mouth.

"I'm not used to seeing you with your clothes on," she said.

Harry burst out laughing, the tension in his gut unwinding. She grinned, looking tall and proud despite her small stature.

"A welcome change?"

"Hm," she said, her eyes appraising him. "I'm not so sure about that."

He swallowed hard.

"Heading somewhere?" she asked, her eyes following his original path toward the door.

"I suppose it depends. Would you like me to?" His hand was still on her waist, not ready to break contact.

His heart pounded hard at the thought that she might be here with someone.

She smiled, which seemed answer enough until she rose onto her toes. Her lips brushed against his, soft and warm, like sunshine breaking through the clouds.

She eased away, and only then did he realize he had pulled her close.

"That doesn't sound so bad... Are you sure you like these clothes though?" Her hands smoothed out the front of his robes.

"No promises." He grinned at her stupidly.

Before she could respond, a distinctly male and stunned voice, and she turned toward it. "Ginny!"

Ginny...so that was her name.

Harry followed her gaze, surprised to meet the shocked expression on Weasley's face a few paces away. Ron, he thought his name was.

"That'd be my insufferable brother." Her eyes shined with mischief, holding out her hand. "Still game?"

He took it without hesitation. "You bet."

As they walked toward her stupified brother, she asked, casual, "What did you say your name was?" She knew full well they hadn't exchanged names. His grip tightened.

She hadn't known then.

"Harry."

[redrum-alice]

Another ABAcelsus Highschool AU stuff because I need dopamine...

ABA was homeschooled before attending to actual school- the main reason why she had hard time fitting in.

ABA suffered severe anemia in her entire childhood, so she wasn't able to play outside. She spent her time indoors, entertaining herself with books for learning or video games while her foster father took care of her (he's a pharmacist).

The genre of games she played were adventure games and fantasy because she wishes to venture outside. One of them being kingdom hearts and she had fantasize of owning a keyblade.

When it was time for her finally to go outside for the first time after a long treatment, she saw a tall boy with piercings and key necklace. It was as if a love at first sight.

Newly enrolled, she was surprised to see the same boy she saw at the park. She noticed how other people avoid him, but she saw this as an opportunity to approach him

Unbeknownst her, she became a target of bullying due to her antisocial behavior (complete with headphones and all). The last final straw that nearly made her quit school was that some students poured a cold water over her while she was in the stall. All her belongings, clothes and her beloved headphones were destroyed.

Paracelsus sees her shivering behind a bush, all drench and cowering. She had been humiliated. Para pitied her and gave her his jacket to warm herself up before going home. He may be creeped out by her, but he cant let the poor girl catch a cold.

ABA saw this kind gesture as a love language and ends up washing the jacket, planning to return it as soon as possible.

She ends up finding his address and invites herself over, thanks to Slayer (yes, he and his wife Sharon are Para's guardian in this AU. Shh). She waited and waited, until she fell asleep on his bed

Paracelsus came home to see the weird girl sleeping on his bed, clutching on his freshly cleaned jacket. He wanted to wake up the girl, but sighed in defeat and went to the living room to spend the night there.

That whole scenario was erased in Paracelsus' mind because he couldn't stop looking at her sleeping face. Whats worse was that there was a girl in his room-- he aint all about that-

Sharon told him to get a medicine from the pharmacy, but when he got there, he was yet again greeted by a sleeping ABA, guarding the pharmacy.

The boy is stuck between waking her up or leaving for another pharmacy bc he felt like he was going crazy whenever he encountered this weird girl 😭🔫

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not wanting to homeschool?

i(15ftm) have been getting pressured by my family, and especially my mom, to homeschool. my older brother and 3 younger siblings all agreed to homeschool this year, my brother especially being very enthusiastic. my mom(36f) has been watching a lot of news and tiktoks that have made her certain we need to run away to Tennessee (we live in California ) within the next year or two, and she desperately wants me to homeschool.

i have a lot of trouble focusing on schoolwork specially when im at home, to the point that when we were quarantined i failed all but one class. i also have a hard time making and keeping friends, as i am incredibly socially anxious. this last year and now, ive been making close friends, but its hard to keep in touch or hang out when we arent in school.

ive tried to explain that i would be incredibly depressed (moreso than right now lol) and i would probably lose any chances on making it to anything except community college if i home schooled, but my mom wont hear it. she has always written me a letter to read when i get to school on the first day, and they are always very nice. this year she wrote an incredibly passive-agressive note about how she wishes i would homeschool. she is convinced that i will get convinced to talk to my counselor at school and get sent to a group home and then kidnapped for sex-slavery and such, based off of a law that doesnt exist yet ane won't until i am a senior. ignoring that, i would never and have never talked to the school counselor outside of signing up for classes.

anyways, my mom has been bringing this up in every conversation, and shes also still frustrated that i told my friends i was trans before her, and is convinced the entire school and all teachers know as well. i have tried to tell her otherwise, but she wont listen. i only waited to come out to her in the first place, because when i came out as pan, she took my phone and went through it for a week and thought i was saying that i was attracted to pedophiles, and then she immediately outed me to my brother(16m) and dad(42m), who i was waiting to come out to for another month or so, as i wanted to make sure it wouldnt be unsafe to come out. (she didnt tell me she outed me either, i found out from my dad. my parents are divorced and have been since i was 3.) she has since outed me as trans to my dad as well.

however, disregarding that, she has genuine reason to want me to homeschool. it would be less money since we would have to pay for bus rides, extra food, and school supplies for me, and it would mean i get to spend more time with my family, which is a big plus for her. i also wouldnt have to deal with annoying teachers, as it would all be through online courses. for me though, it wouldnt be worth it at all, and i would lose access to my electives, game design and costume design (i go to an art school).

so, am i the asshole? she is genuinely worried about things right now, but i cant see myself being happy doing homeschooling.

What are these acronyms?

[annisassintchaska]

please do toto wolff!! 🫶

Finally Together Again: Toto Wolff x Ex-Wife!Black!Reader

TW: Age Gap-Reader is 28 years old

Y/n and Toto had been married for six years and had a son by the name Silas Wolff who is now four years old. Their marriage was once the kind that authors would write about in fictions or romance novels and poets would write rhymes for, until it wasn’t. Y/n had allowed her family to push themselves in, convincing her that their age gap was too wide and that he was too busy all the time and that their child was being neglected because of it with a lot of other reasons that poisoned her mind against her now ex-husband. For Toto is was kind of a similar case where he was told that she was too young for him and that she’d leave for someone younger, that she would be demanding all his attention which would cause him to slack from his job amongst other things. This caused a huge split in their lives due to arguments and fights, ignoring each other and even leaving for days at a time on rare occasions. The last straw was a third miscarriage since they were trying for another child where months later they decided to call it quits.

Their baby boy Silas was deeply affected by this as he wasn’t used to living in separate houses and having to see one parent at a time and so his behaviour drastically changed for the bad. He was usually very talkative around his parents, making silly kids jokes and wanting to be apart of everything going on, yet these days he seemed to be distant and shy almost very uninterested and dull.

It was Toto’s weekend to have Silas seeming that he is homeschooled he’s able to travel anywhere. Toto had joke gotten him ready to go to the paddock and was putting on his own shoes when he heard his son sniffling. Looking back he saw the tears pooling me immediately picked him up. “Silas buddy, what’s wrong, you not feeling well? You don’t wanna go with me?” He asked fearing that it might be the first option. “I wanna go but I want mommy. I miss having her with us” The little one whimpered as the tears finally fell as he was now full on wailing in his daddy’s arms. Toto had no idea what to do in this situation so the best thing he could think of was to call the most needed person right now, his ex-wife.

Lewis had came and gotten Silas as Toto finally called, the phone ringing a couple time before being answered. “Hello, Toto is everything okay?” Y/n asked in concern as he never once called while he was the one on duty. “Not really, Silas had a meltdown concerning you not being here. It is possible that you could come to the paddock today so we could sort this out?” He asked not wanting to pull her from work. “Yeah, I have nothing to do today so I’ll be there in about an hour” Y/n replied before goodbyes were said and the phones hung up.

An hour later exactly, Y/n was spotted walking through the paddock as she quickly made her way to the Mercedes Garage. “Mommy, you came!” Yelled the four years old as he ran into his mother’s arms. “Hi my baby, where’s daddy and why are you out here without him?” She asked in panic mode that he was left alone but was calmed when her son said. “Your here with Sir Uncle Lewis, he took me on a paddock walk. Daddy is in his office” the child explained. Y/n made her way towards the office going straight in and closing the door behind her with the lock. “Hey, you finally made it” Toto declared as he observed how much more beautiful his wife had become. He admired her pretty bared face (her beautiful brown eyes and luscious full soft lips), her sumptuous full breasts thanks to pregnancy, her thick luscious thighs supporting her widely defined hips. “Yeah, I stopped on the outside since I saw him there.” Y/n replied as she admired the man that she was still in love with. His pretty unruly hair, his natural and beautifully aging face, his impressively sculptured body(his lean upper muscles including his printed abs through the team shirt, his long veiny hands and long legs that look like they could go on forever.

“Alright buddy, I managed to get mommy to come here, so you can speak to us now as we’re listening” Toto urged the young boy to communicate his feelings. “I don’t like this. I wondered why daddy wouldn’t come to the house after work but mommy explained that you two were divorced and so our family is divided. I don’t want that because I like having you both together with me. I see all my other friends online with their parents who fight a lot but they aren’t divorced so why are you different?” The little boy who was very wise for his age expressed, breaking his parents’ hearts as they didn’t want their son to be unhappy. “Bubba, daddy and I are separated because we fight way more than your friends’ parents. We are very distant and that isn’t a happy marriage. We were unable to stay that way as it would damage both mommy and daddy” Y/n explained as the little shook his head in understanding. “I understand, my happiness isn’t the only thing that matters so as long as my parents are safe I’m no longer sad” Silas said as he hugged his parents at once before running off to go find his aunty Angela or one of his uncles (Bono, Lewis or George).

The silence in the room was so loud that it was actually heard by the people occupying the space. “I can’t do this anymore. I thought about this before, about how stupid we were to let other people who didn’t know anything about our love ruin our marriage, but it just became real to me after listening to our son. I’ve always loved you and I still do, I also know that you still love me as well so why are we hiding from our feelings and playing around?” Toto questioned as he stared the 5’2 woman down. “Toto, I want to get back together but I can’t risk us hurting our son again. You saw how he is, just imagine what he’d be like if we made him go through this again?” Y/n spoke with fear in her voice at the thought of her son revisiting this traumatic experience once again.

“I promise you it won’t happen again, we’ll get back together but we keep it private, no one will know a thing. We reserve ourselves until our family is at home alone.” Toto suggested. “That sounds amazing, I would agree to that but we’d have to get married all over again” Y/n frowned not wanting t have to plan anything. “No we don’t. Just to let you know, we are still married as I never signed the divorce papers for it to be finalized” Toto boasted as he took the ring from his briefcase and slipped it onto Y/n’s hand as she stood there dumbfounded at his confession.

After this day, the couple stayed true to their agreement as they kept their reconciliation a secret from the world, including their families, just living happily and grateful that they are finally together again.

[faefum]

haha jumpscare, a nerve exploded and then i had the idea to like revamp my twst OCs in a major and minor way, if there are typos I'm not sorry

I WANT ENGAGEMENT PLEASE SHARE TO ME YOUR OCS AND HOW THEY MIGHT INTERACT WITH MINE IM BEGGING

CHANGES:

- Carmin's a girl now (for nearly two years, i kept on switching between the character being a boy, girl, or straight up just being non-binary or genderfluid. after thinking about how i would want her character + story to develop as similarly as i can to Eilonwy's arc, i left her as a girl)

- Thora's still the same (i really should give him more attention bruh)

- their looks idk man

Thora Griffith (left) 🛡️

Erinne Pelagic (right) 🌘

Erinne Pelagic

Clothed in white, continuously shining, and the glowing pride of the Moonbrine, Erinne has no shortage of power that she uses well to her people's needs. Mostly the judge, but often the executioner.

BIRTHDAY: March 3rd (Pisces)

AGE: 18

HEIGHT: 179 cm (5'10" ft)

DOMINANT HAND: Left

HOMELAND: Moonbrine

SCHOOL: (was homeschooled, still)

HOBBIES: Signing documents

PET PEEVES: Mistreatment

FAVORITE FOOD: Aberffraw biscuits

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Escargot

TALENT: Bargaining

BASED ON: Eilonwy (The Black Cauldron, Chronicles of Prydain)

PERSONALITY

She is a level-headed, graceful, and stern individual who will not spend a single moment second-guessing her every move. As the Princess of the Moonbrine, Erinne is responsible for a shockingly vast majority of the kingdom's local and overseas politics, showing herself off as a worthy member of any court. Despite her rather daunting titles and positions—however vague those could often be, Erinne never lets the status get through her head, remaining humble yet mindful of what her mere presence could offer.

Knowledgeable of both traditions and laws, she is quick to correct those who break them but provide second chances when necessary. Erinne is open-minded to change and latter perspectives, acknowledging faults and differences in her or others' decisions and/or plans. Having been taught personally by the enigmatic Moonbrine Queen herself, Erinne is well-educated in nearly all matters of life. With this knowledge, she spoils her friends. "Not my money," she says. Technically.

But despite her amiable yet regal, external persona, Erinne is no doormat. Her hair looks like fire for a reason and controlled inside her head is an anger that very rarely explodes. While her patience often puts her as a saint, one might see a tiny slip in her expression—a twitch of the eye or a falter of her smile, and could only hope that the room has enough escape routes. Stay enough for longer, and one might even hear her curse. And also yell. Make sure to get a lobotomy right after for privacy's sake. Another part of her is that no matter how she is kept in the palace with duties and such, she makes time to roam around in the wilderness nearby. Often barefoot. It's a habit and a way of relaxation she still hasn't lost and wouldn't dream of losing it. Because who cares.

To whoever read the last post about these two with my Yuu in it, I mentioned something about the aunt—the name I haven't decided yet—not being an actual family member. Erinne is mighty suspicious of this but despite her own status, cannot do much about it because the queen is currently untouchable. Think of that as you will.

UNIQUE MAGIC - 'Luster Revelation'

Luster Revelation summons a glowing, golden bauble that Erinne could either hold or set flying in the air—she can control its direction. Whatever the light of the bauble touches reveals what she yearns to know; magical traces and their owners (who - the true name, what - the spell casted, when - the date).

It takes a bit of mana, but it's nothing Erinne can't handle.

TLDR: Erinne makes a floating scanner and fact checks you live. May or may not cause mental damage.

Thora Griffith

The stalwart vice-president of Royal Sword Academy's Fencing Club and a diligent second-year of the school. He co-leads his club and his class with a mild demeanor, a deadpanned expression, and a mysterious past. Mostly the executioner, but often the jury.

BIRTHDAY: October 27th (Scorpio)

AGE: 17

HEIGHT: 189 cm (6'2" ft)

DOMINANT HAND: Right

HOMELAND: Moonbrine

SCHOOL: Royal Sword Academy (Sophomore)

HOBBIES: Fencing

PET PEEVES: Laziness

FAVORITE FOOD: Pot roast

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Charred food

TALENT: Blastcycling

BASED ON: Taran (The Black Cauldron, Chronicles of Prydain)

PERSONALITY

Thora is as stoic as he looks, a well-put young man with a glare that could either send comfort or send folks running. To both teachers and peers alike, he is a responsible and reliable student who puts studies first and indulgences later. Saying that, he crams because he's often too busy playing with his cat. In the classroom, he'd be the type to let you sleep but wake you up when anything happens because, well, you're still in class. In the sparring field, he'd beat you ruthlessly and help patch up your wounds afterwards.

I would like to add that a lot of his personality, with a few add-ons and changes, he got from Erinne from basically sticking with her during their childhood. Their relationship is that they're both close childhood friends with sometimes way too much time on their hands that they end up making calls late at night just to trash other people. Thora's personality definitely helped simmer Erinne, but in turn she ignited a few un-gentlemanly parts of himself. For one, he is actually petty. Overall, Thora is a good person who would hold himself to his promises (he'd die if he won't /j), and respects and honors even his opponents. But by the Seven, you do something that even inconveniences him in the slightest, he'll do something about it. Hate is one thing but annoyance is another, and Thora's usually so easy-going that it's hard to get him to actually hate people. He can be mean, but make sure that it never happens. Thora feels low-key ashamed of it but he still acts like a hater.

He could be quite grateful to whoever helps him out and vows to be with them in their trying time, like Silver except if Silver had a mean bone in his body. Thora is fiercely loyal. He'd be an aggressive supporter and would definitely kill for his loved ones. Great! This goes the same for animals. Since he was a stable boy in the past, he would rather die than harm an animal, especially if they're fuzzy.

Thora doesn't talk much about his past, not that there's anything worth talking about, but because he just doesn't know the extent of his lore (and I'm still figuring it out). All he knows is that he was found as a baby, adopted, and goes to RSA. No information about his birth parents or anything. His adoptive father deflects his queries and Thora has learned to let it go, but of course, he still thinks about it.

UNIQUE MAGIC - 'Bladed Ambition'

Emitting bright energy from his person, Thora summons a massive white sword that he could control with a wave of his arm. The sword stays at a constant size of a two story building and destroys the space around it to make room for itself (when summoned). It lasts for roughly a minute before it dissipates, leaving only rubble. Rather simple.

Takes a HUGE amount of mana, so he's wary about using it because of the blot.

TLDR: Thora makes a giant blade Raiden Shogun style, and deletes your world.

TRIVIA

A few of Thora's close friends assume he has, like, a long-distance girlfriend or something. Thora only rolls his eyes but he thinks it's rather funny.

They're both very strong mages, like, very. In their lore, Thora mostly got his tutoring from Erinne herself who was getting tutored by the queen all the while (sharing the hack, basically). They learned both swordsmanship and magical techniques. Thora excelled more with swordsmanship and hand-to-hand, while Erinne excelled with magic. Ironically, Thora's UM is more destructive than hers.

Mentioned in the previous post some time before but I wanted to expand on this, Thora secretly keeps a small kitten within his dorm room, of which he shares the secret with his roommate. How he got the thing into his dorm was the most frazzled he got; Thora was nearly caught by his own housewarden when he snuck it in. Luckily, he's a swift runner. (I placed him in the hypothetical Alice dormitory until there's confirmation of the dorms in RSA.) More about the above, his housewarden eventually found out but didn't care enough to do anything about it just as long as the kitten was fine (and just as long as he could pet it when he wants). Erinne knows about this.

Despite not seeming like it, both use chronically online terms whenever they're chatting or alone together.

Erinne, when she was four, tried eating a snail and probably would have died if she hadn't slipped on the mud instead. She never shares this vivid memory to anyone.

Erinne is NOT a crowned princess.

I got tired of RSA's uniforms and decided to branch out entirely, barely keeping a few motifs but Thora's attire looks entirely new and might resemble RSA if you look hard enough.

Regarding Erinne's character history, she had many names starting with the oldest that I could remember; Elowyn, Elvira, Eiran, Eryl, Elias, Elissa, Adhika, Enlli, and Carmin. Each rendition alternated between boy and girl, the blue eyes staying consistent (with the exception of Carmin) while the hair ranged from being a light orange, blonde, black, white, pink, red, and red-golden. Her earliest concept was a Royal Sword Academy second-year with long, light orange hair.

About their hobbies; Thora is based on Taran, whose name might be based on the Celtic God of Thunder, Taranis, who was associated with the wheel. I decided to make the genius decision to have Thora be an absolute demon in doing crazy stunts with his blastcycle. He's a biker, basically. For Erinne, signing important things gives her a sense of power-tripping and it makes her feel happy and terrible at the same time.

A bit more of Thora's lore, Hen Wen from the movie and the books was supposed to be his adopted sister in her TWST form. That, or she is an orphan Yuu and the rest will meet during the Halloween event I'm still writing. This, or she becomes both Thora and Erinne's unofficial little sister who kicks off the events.

Erinne knows how to use a bow. She sucks at it, actually.

If in-game, Thora commonly uses fire attacks while Erinne does water ones. Both are heavy damage dealers.

In the original stories of both my sources (lol, click off if you haven't watched The Black Cauldron or read the Chronicles of Prydain and don't want spoilers), Taran and Eilonwy get together and even marry in the pentalogy.

[loving-family-poll]

i fear we are departing from incest but i love to hear myself talk so i shall tell you about my sister's complex about me. first we have to establish some things: my sister is older than me (the oldest of us all, i'm second oldest, just mentioning it bc me not being the youngest feels important here), my sister has an inferiority complex that stems from me being the successful one (probably will come up later but i was a very smart kid and ended up skipping so many grades that i started college at 15), and that my sister has always had bad anxiety and is very very sensitive to rejection

so. let's start from the beginning. our father left us young, didn't pay child support, was generally an asshole, but most importantly he would visit for one reason: me. i was the favorite because, as i mentioned, i was a smart kid and he is very success-oriented so naturally he took to me (and off-topic but this happens so often. like very very success driven people have been weirdly into me since i was a little kid. weird shit but i've used it to my advantage cough cough getting a kid flunked and almost expelled) so anyway our father visits us just for me, even tells me about all the women he was cheating on my mom with before they got divorced. and my sister? my sister has bad anxiety, she's sensitive to being left out. and more than that she has very very strong rejection sensitivity. so how do you think it'd feel to be the oldest child and yet be ignored by our father (this did not affect my other siblings they were too young). so this puts me above her in her mind

she fails a lot in school and this wrecks her confidence, especially since i've always been greatly successful in school. she's pushed aside by her father for me, she's pushed away by her teachers for me (to the point that i would have a teacher for a short time before i'd test out and they'd still call her my name no matter how long she had them). she also has very poor social skills so she was never liked by her peers while i was funny and i was smart and i was such a goody-two-shoes brat but teachers adored me to the point that i could get away with anything i wanted (yes i was pulling shit i think i had a habit of attacking one of my teachers and everyone was cool with it) and she'd be scolded for any little issues because she wasn't as liked + she was more frustrating (she had untreated adhd for a hot minute). keep in mind that most of this was happening while we were both under 10/11

so. you'd think that she would have some deep-seated resentment against me. and you would be correct! now idk what you know about psychology and chances are it's bs anyway (<-psych major that does not trust the field in the slightest) but there's this nifty little concept called reaction formation. it's freudian so. take that as you will. but basically it's just when a strong emotion switches from one to another. for example: hate to love, love to hate… resentment to adoration?

so that's my theory for the basis of this. she has an inferiority complex and a sensitivity to rejection and i was everything she wasn't and for whatever reason her kid brain said hey, why not love my sister instead. and honestly this wasn't that like. prevalent until we teenagers, because i became very neurotic and anxious and developed some disorders you know how it is. and now we see something new in my sister: she likes to take care of people. if i couldn't do something she would do it for me, if someone was pushing my boundaries she would enforce them. i basically spent all of middleschool hiding away in our home (i was homeschooled atp) with only her for company since i'd hide in our room. so she;s taken on the role of being my protector. probably because if she would never be better than me, at least she could be the one protecting me. it made her important. it made her necessary. it made her feel needed. and that is when i catch on. i encouraged her a bit, started praising her, thanking her for any little thing she did, calling for her anytime i needed help because she just loves to feel needed so badly. and yeah maybe that was manipulative and maybe it was wrong but i was also like. 14 or 15 when i started doing this

anyway so she has this whole complex about needing to protect me so that she can feel needed and it's all fueled by her inferiority complex that honestly drives so much of what she does. i find it highly amusing.

so yeah. she's basically a dog to me. tell her she's good and give her a treat and she'll do what you want. and if she does something that makes me upset she folds so fucking quickly it's wild. it's that fear of rejection. she could never stand for me of all people to drop her

and to the person who wanted us in the tournament together sorry but we are just weird about each other in a not-so-incesty way but the vibes are kinda there

The way I was glued to this ask reading SO intently. What you two have going on is so much weirder than if you'd just fucked (complimentary)

[anon-e-miss]

Kintsugi - Memory Box

“Whatcha got there, Ori?” Jazz asked. Prowl raised his helm from Jazz’s lap. He had been reading but had dozed off. If he was not actively doing something, anything Prowl was forever falling into recharge.

“Rust sticks from Mirror’s place,” Punch replied. “Prowl’s favourite, as I recall.”

“Yes,” Prowl said, rubbing the fuzz from his optics. “I haven’t had any in stellar-cycles.

“Well these are all for ya,” Punch declared. “I got a couple o’ treats for the Twins since it’s almost their emergence-cycle.”

“I used to bake them Praxian sweets,” Prowl murmured.

“Did ya know?” Punch asked. “I outta known that. I don’t want ya standin’ in the kitchen but if we pull a stool up for ya, I can help ya bake whate’er ya want.”

“I am sure you and Jazz already have plans for their cake,” Prowl said.

“Nothin’, nothin’ is going be as special as somethin’ baked by their ori,” Punch replied. “I was wonderin’, Jazz. Ya hadn’t set anythin’ in stone...”

“I don’t think a party right now is a good idea,” Jazz said and his originator sighed and nodded in agreement.

“What do you mean?” Prowl asked. Jazz helped him sit up. Prowl’s doorwings quivered. He did not want to be the reason they missed out.

“Prowl, the reason ain’t got a party planned already is ‘cause all they’ve asked for when I’ve asked ‘m want they wanna do is to see ya,” Jazz explained. “All those two care about now is that Ori’s home, ‘n I don’t think they have any idea it’s their emergence-cycle. Y’ll make their cakes like ya always did ‘n we’ll celebrate together.”

“I do not want to deprive them,” Prowl said. Jazz kissed his temple.

“I deprived them,” he said. “All they’ve wanted his their ori. That’s it. We’ll eat their favourite fuels ‘n stay ‘n. They can have friends o’er some other time when they ask after it but let’s be real, mostly they wanna run up ‘n play wit Blue. Primus’ knows he ain’t allowed to slum it down here.”

“Somethings have not changed,” Prowl sighed. “As I understand it, his nanny homeschools him. Other than the Twins, I do not believe he sees much of other sparklings.”

“Poor thing,” Punch said. “Don’t think I e’er seen his procreators.”

“I have seen a femme with some Praxian heritage escort him to a transport,” Prowl revealed. “But I do not know if she was yet another staffmecha or kin.”

“He’s such a sweet mechlin’,” Jazz said. “Could be ripe for trouble when he becomes a younglin’.”

“If his procreators do not ship him off to a boarding school,” Prowl said.

“For now, at least, he knows he’s got friends,” Punch said. “Best we can do.”

“I forgot to grab yer present when we was leavin’ that Pit ya was stuck in, Prowl,” Jazz said. “I was thinkin’, can I borrow yer key card ‘n go grab’em for ya. Rather ya didn’t go out, even in a transport. Yer exhausted.”

“I do not know why,” Prowl said. “I have done nothing but fuel or recharge but the moment I am not actively engaged in something, I fall into recharge.”

“It’s a good sign,” Punch assured him. “Yer frame’s finally gettin’ the nutrients it needs to forge those bitties ‘n it’s exhaustin’ work, even if ya don’t feel like y’re doin’ anythin’. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve made huge bounds when ya see Ratchet again.”

“I hope so,” Prowl replied as he stroked his belly. It might have been his imagine but he thought his newsparks were a little more active and it and Punch’s assurances gave him some hope. “I do not know if it is worth the trip, Jazz. All I got them was cheap junk.”

“Not junk,” Jazz countered. He did not bother to argue on the matter of cheap, there was no arguing. “Gifts that suit’em. Gifts their Ori bought’em.”

“Someone may well have cleared the place out,” Prowl said. He offered Jazz his key card. “The landlord is... creative in his interpretation of the law. If it has not been... I left a box in the closet, on the top shelf. It would be hard to miss. It is the only thing there. Could you grab it too?”

“O’ course, Sweetspark,” Jazz replied as he took the card from Prowl. “Rest while ‘m gone.”

“How ‘bout some o’ those rust sticks, Love?” Punch set the box on the table next to Prowl’s perch on the couch. “Grazin’ is a good way to put on mass without feelin’ sick for it.”

“Okay,” Prowl agreed. He took a rust stick from the box and took a bite. It melted in his mouth. Optics dimming with pleasure, he tugged the blanket over his lap. They were just as good as he remembered.

“Are ya cold?” Punch asked.

“Not really,” Prowl said. “I just do not... keep warm.”

“Let’s see if we can’t make ya feel a bit cozier,” Punch declared. He disappeared into his berthroom, it had been Prowl’s office at one point. Prowl felt no bitterness for its change in servo, though he knew in the past, he would have. Punch returned carrying a stack of linens. “First, some sleeves for yer doors.”

Punch pulled the knitted sleeves over Prowl’s doorwings and then wrapped another blanket around his back and over his shoulders. It was overkill. Though Frigus’ chill had not passed yet, it was Saltus and passed the point of freezing mega-cycles. Prowl did not brush off the blankets though. He took a cube of ruby tea from Punch and nibbled on rust sticks as they watched a holo-drama on the TV. Maybe it was not what Prowl would normally have chosen to watch, it was light, mindless entertainment and Prowl did not sink into recharge precisely but he sank into warmth and contentment. A sharp rebuke in his originator’s voice told Prowl he ought to be a proper host and converse with Punch, he he fell into a comfortable fugue instead, and stayed there until Jazz returned.

***

Jazz could have forced the door and no one would have cared. That was not to say no one would have noticed but not a spark in the petrorat invested Pit was going to stick their neck out for their neighbour. Who wanted to risk the wrong end of a drug dealer’s bat or blaster? Life had very little worth when you lived this far below the poverty line. He did not blame any of them for keeping their doors locked, such as one of these locks could really stop someone with murderous intent. Cheap as their lives were, they were still their lives and Jazz thought Prowl’s neighbours had every right to preserve theirs. Someone else might have thought to call code enforcement to get the freezing death trap condemned but that would not be a mercy to these mechanisms, they would be on the streets then.

The light flickered overhead when Jazz flicked the switch and the petrorats hissed. Jazz hissed back. They had made themselves quite at home in Prowl’s absence and Jazz might have felt sorry even for them living like this, but one of them had bit Prowl. Any one of them would have eaten him, still alive, when the Petrorat bite fever had taken hold and left Prowl too weak to move. He would walked into Prowl’s berthroom and as he did, the petrorats scattered. Though they hissed, it was an empty threat, they were smart enough to know that he could crush anyone of them under his ped. Just as Prowl had said, there was a box on the top shelf of the closet. It was the only thing in the closet.

What was in the box? Jazz had never seen it before. When he had forced Prowl to move out, Jazz did not remember seeing it. Could it have come from his office, after the enforcers had turned him out. Just the thought of that outrage made Jazz bristle. How could any of them have believed for a nanoklik that Prowl would want to or even need to blackmail Chromedome into fragging? That mech had been optic fragging Prowl since forever, and Jazz had even heard them tease Chromedome when they thought Jazz could not hear. Not one of them had teased Prowl, everyone had known he was oblivious. Had Chromedome felt victorious when he had slipped his spike into Prowl, after the divorce had been finalized? Jazz hated the thought and hated that he was sure it was true. He had given Chromedome that victory and nothing could ever change that. The bitlets Prowl carried were proof.

“No,” Jazz snarled at himself. He would not let those sorts of thoughts rot his wiring.

The bitlets were Prowl’s. For the next twenty or thirty stellar-cycles, Jazz would contributed to them and even if he had not been the one to strike the ember, he would give them his code. They would be his in every way that mattered. He wondered what Chromedome would think when he learned that Jazz had taken Prowl back and than he had taken the bitties Prowl carried on. There was a chance it would set the aft off and Jazz thought it would not hurt to be prepared. It would not hurt that his contract came with a lawyer on call. Jazz would give them a call, get her in the know. Maybe, it would not hurt to talk to her about Prowl’s termination. Of course, Prowl was is no condition to return to the enforcers, but after all the work he had done, after they had railroaded him, Jazz thought Prowl deserved some kind of severance. Maybe he was naive but the lawyer would give it to him straight.

“It’s all yers,” Jazz told the petrorats as he lifted up the bagged gifts.

He took one look back over the depressing seen Prowl had lived in for stellar-cycles. Never again. From now one, Prowl was be warm, comfortable and safe and when Jazz went platinum, he would buy them a home, not a condo, a home all their own, and they would fill it with love. Caught up in thought, Jazz did not notice the scrawny speedster until he moved but Jazz saw the sheen of light on the edge of the chipped blade and reacted. Jazz ducked, swung out his ped and knocked the junkie’s legs from out from under him. He knocked the knife away, sent it clattering down the stairs. Before the speedster could try anything else, or runaway, Jazz pinned him to the floor with a ped against his neck.

“Thought ya’d let me do the work ‘n rob me on the way out, h’uh?” Jazz asked.

“Where’d you take him?” The speedster wheezed. Jazz lifted his ped off the mech’s throat, letting him speak more clearly. His optics glowed in the hazy wildness of Syk.

“Home,” Jazz replied. “Prowl’s my ex-conjunx. I brought’m back home to our mechlings.”

“Forgot to pay alimony?” The speedster was snarky, Jazz could appreciate it.

“He was payin’ me,” Jazz replied, lifting his ped from the mech’s neck and offering his servo. “Didn’t tell the court he’d lost his job ‘n gotten sparked up.”

“Not yours then,” the speedster said, and coughed as he rubbed this throat as he let Jazz pull him to his peds.

“Mine now,” Jazz replied. He slipped a card from a slid in his bracer and slid it into the speedster’s servo. “Ya e’er get into some real trouble, take this card ‘n go to the back door o’ the Free Clinic. The medic’s a friend. He’s see ya, nice ‘n anonymous like.”

“Why?” The speedster narrowed his optics as he looked at the card.

“It’s haunted ya that ya didn’t stop me from takin’m,” Jazz said. “It’s kept ya awake wonderin’ what I might o’ done wit’m. Ya ne’er thought ya’d get the chance to try ‘n make it right but when ya heard me go in, ya took yer chance.”

“Why’d you come back?” The mech asked.

“‘Cause I got distracted wit’m bein’ sick ‘n forgot the presents he got for our mechlings,” Jazz replied. “He starved to buy these for’em so he deserves to see’em use ‘em.”

“That seems... fair,” the speedster sighed and relaxed his shoulders.

“What’s yer designation?” Jazz asked.

“Drift.”

“Remember the card,” Jazz told Drift as he took his leave. “He don’t judge. He’ll put ya right. Ratchet don’t care if ya use Syk or anythin’. He won’t turn ya in to the enforcers. He don’t care about that slag. He’ll help ya get clean or he’ll help fix whate’er breaks. He’s one o’ the good ones.”

“Thanks.”

[mystic-myrtille]

Watched the movie and honestly it was fine. No groundbreaking cinematic masterpiece. No disasturous dumpster fire. Just an ok movie that felt like a fanfiction from s1

Here's some more thoughts I have. There's no structure it's a little chaotic. Also spoilers (duh)

The stuff I liked:

The music was good

THE ANIMATION IS GORGEOUS. The lighting in every scene is perfect, the city actually feels populated and the colors overall are so much prettier than in the show

I loved the akuma designs

They do a good job of establishing how Marinette, in the beginning, is very anxious, affected by Chloe's bullying and how she doesn't have friends. That works better than what the show tried to establish, about how Marinette had no friends but still being popular for some reason

Alya being a good friend

The way Adrien deals with the loss of his mother and how playing the piano brings him comfort and makes him feel close to her. Imo the show went overboard with how literally everything Adrien does is dictated by his dad and never something he might genuinely enjoy doing. The fact that he had this hobby made him feel like he was more than just a sad boi

Adrien also seems to struggle with not having many friends outside Nino. Works pretty well with the characterization that he's socially awkward after being homeschooled for most of his life

Generally this Adrien has more PV vibes? I‘m digging it ngl

Marinette's dad is the best

Fu's introduction to Marinette sure was something xD

Gabriel was a good villain character. The show version is just some weird ass goof who is a huge ass to his son and everyone, yet the show wants you to feel for him without giving us a reason to care. This version actually has complexity. He’s still an ass, but now the pain over loosing Emilie feels real. You also have him hesitating to use the butterfly but ultimately spiraling completely into an actually threatening villain.

the fight scenes looked great

Marinette is still clumsy and awkward towards Adrien but without being too cringe about it and doing stupid shit. It‘s just heart eyes and day dreams and some stuttering. She‘s still nervous but I never felt like Adrien brought oit her worst side like in the show. She was simply a girl in love. This was wholesome to watch and so much better than... whatever the fuck the show did with the fucking dating trauma to use for """comedy""" bc the show runners have zero respect for her seriously I'll never get over how fucking stupid that was Marinette honey you deserve so much better

I honestly think this is a better version of the square. Still heavily flawed, but their dynamic feels so much more natural. Ladynoir stuff was sweet

The end where Marinette looses the earrings and then saves Chat without the costume was a good scene

Most of their moments were just quiet moments between just the two without any outside forces and characters constantly pushing them together. This bothers me in the show so much and is another major reason I cant get behind the ship, but for the most part the movie has some gentle pushing here and there but no convoluted and stupid cringy plans. In that regard movie love square is superior

Nino had a thing for Alya from the start pretty much, unlike in the show where he was crushing on Mari five minutes before getting with Alya. I like them in both the show and the movie, but the way they got together in the show was a little meh

Nino getting screentime in general

The stuff I don't know how to feel about:

Careless whisper. It was silly goofy but especially the second time when Paris is on fire and we skip to Adrien's room where he sulks... yeah that tome switch really threw me off

Two different voice actors for singing an talking. The difference was very jarring and while good for Bryce, Cristina has the voice of an angel like cmon I need her to do at least a cover from one song

Gabriel's redemption. Ok so I'm a little torn because the way they did it ties in very well with the the "power of love" theme that his love for Adrien makes him realize his mistakes bla bla, but he still terrorized a city and yet faces zero consequences, and Adrien forgives him, which are all thing that really rub me the wrong way. Idk the franchise is so obsessed with painting this man in a sympathetic light and in order for this to feel truly satisfying Gabriel shouldn't have tried to destroy Paris like 5 minutes earlier. I see what they went for and thematically it worked but I just need Gabriel to be put in prison

Speaking of Gabriel, the Adrien Gabe relationship isn't as abusive as in the show. This isn't good or bad, but I still think (very unpopular opinion) the show doesn't handle abuse well at all bc the only point of the abuse is pity points in oder to get the fans to care about the characters. So taking that out of the movie where you have limited time to wrap this whole thing up might've been a smart decision

With the ending they sort of hinted at a sequel

The cut off kiss at the end. They still act like a love square kiss is something sacred that they can‘t just give their fans. Commit to it already

The stuff I didn't like:

The dialogue was… something. Marinette just asking her mom over breakfast how to make her dreams come true. Babe just just woke up, that deep convos are for late nights

Generally the dialogue in both the movie and the show is a little weird

Lika Alya‘s „people try really hard to fail as hard as you“ Marinette spilled some coffee it‘s not that hard

Even though I liked the portrayel of Marinette‘s anxiety, at times the went overboard with it

Going back to the Gabriel redemption, just let Adrien have negative feeling about Gabriel already. The s5 finale have him idolize him and here he just instantly forgives and forget

So the butterfly is a villainous tool by default? They could've fixed their messy lore but noooo

The scene where Marinette gets her miraculous feels rushed.

The way Adrien receives his miraculous. He was chilling in his room and suddenly a black cat shows up. He doesn't even have to proove himself like Mari when she almost got hit by a truck. The moment in the show was already weak but this is just fucking stupid

the first akuma was just some random dude. They should've used someone the main duo has a connection to

Chat being a lil bitch about Ladybug rejecting him. Hated it in the show, hate it here. They could've used the movie to fix Adrien and they didn't. Other than that being a dick move as so many people have explained millions of times now, I find this such a boring source of conflict for the climax of the movie? They worked well before and they both know they care for each other as partners and even if being rejected hurts, Chat acts like LB just threw their friendship away or something with how strongly he reacts to it. In the show it felt blown out of proportion and it does here as well. I think they should've had a different kind of conflict which actively hurt their partnership or Chat stops treating LB unfairly just because to her he‘s not a romantic partner.

The fart jokes. Though tbf this is a kids movie

The way Marinette falls for Adrien was extremely underwhelming. Adrien smiles at her and helps her get up and then just walks out of the library all like „she‘s so weird“. Could‘ve been fixed if he and Mari stayed in the library and had a little conversation

Also Adrien‘s introduction in general? He just chills in the library and… yeah that‘s it. I blame this on the writers of the movie cutting character introductions short because they assume the audience already knows the characters and therefore doesn‘t have to introduce them. I don‘t think that was a good choice

The Adrienette stuff was just a montage. Would've been nice to actually see them connect (though that was probably a time issue)

Also they didn't give any spotlight to Marinette's good qualities like selflessness and intelligence. Would've been nice to see her be more willing to be there for people and help them out with things as a result of her gaining more confidence

Seriously the montage was a big mistake and takes away a lot from what could've made the movie stand out

The reveal felt a lot like Adrien only loving Marinette because she's LB, which was a big reason for me to not ship Adrienette prior to the flip (not that I did after). Something like this would‘ve been believable in a setting where they didn‘t know each other as civilians I guess, but that doesn‘t work for the square. Had they actually shown Adrienette develop outside of a montage this would'be been way more believable and touching.

I think a reverse love square from the beginning would've worked better here, or they should've made the Ladynoir side canon

Adrien tells Marinette about his dead mom. Chat noir tells Ladybug about his dead mom. How does she not make the connection?

The "power of love" theme fell flat with Marinette. she doesn't have her moment of "oh I have to protect the people I love" like Tikki's dialogue suggests. There were multiple people at the theme park she could've spotted being in danger and that should've made her want to save them. Tom being there was literally the perfect set-up. The show does this with Alya being trapped under a car or something and Marinette seeing her

I also think the jump from anxious Mari to brave Mari didn't work. In both the show and the movie it just feels like she just decides to be confident now without really getting there through hard work. The motivation was there in the show (see previous point) but in both instances it just happened too fast. Let Marinette have time to really adjust to her new role

This would've worked if the movie didn't try to keep the show's formula of "villain of the week". Why are we getting a montage about that when there's already a whole ass show with five seasons where we already see that? This montage took up time that could've been used more effectively. The movie should've tried to be more of it's own thing, really shoud've tried to flesh out the characters more in a way the show doesn't. They didn't need LB and CN immediately competent and loved by the public after the theme park fiasco. Just use the run time of the movie to get adjusted to fighting crime on a weekly basis, have them fail to then fix their mistakes and learn from them. Why not do a training montage with the point of becoming better instead of flirting? The movie tries too hard to keep up the show formula and it takes away the quality the story could've had

Also in Marinette's case it felt like the only "power of love" that mattered was her partnership with Chat. Her family and friends weren't completely unimportant but definetely underutilized in that regard. Romantic love is not the only important love you know

Their powers of cataclysm and miraculous ladybug only came in at the very end. The built up could've worked if they spent more time showing how they become good and experienced heroes over time

Generally the climax was underwhelming. Gabriel learns Chat‘s identity and the damage is made undone like 10 seconds later

Adrien being like "yeah I didn't really get close to people after my mom died" what's with the Nino erasure smh

Luka wasn't important

Kagami wasn't even there

I think the end scene hinted at the sentimonster stuff and I wished they would've just not include that

Final thoughts

There are things the movie did better than the show and some things it didn't. They don't waste much time on establishing who the characters are because they expect viewers to already know that from watching the show. But like the show, they fail to use the concepts they've set up in an effective way. The movie not only tries to stay true to the show but is almost dependent on the audience knowing the series.

But yeah, the movie atmosphere was nice. Nothing extraordinary but also not super bad. It had s1 vibes and despite the problems I listed, I had a good time for the most part. Not a must watch but still fine

4/10

[kafkaoftherubble]

Ædith sibling lore because you care. I know you do :]

Ædith's older sister is called Gail and her younger brother is Zoltan, so she's the middle child.

They're born into a noble house, hence Ædith's high government position. As the oldest, Gail was supposed to inherit the position from her mother, but Ædith got it instead. Volkaire vetoed Gail becoming head of the house because she has down syndrome so he thinks she's incompetent. The unfair treatment towards her sister is also what motivated Ædith to get into disability activism in the first place.

All three kids have a bad relationship with their parents because of the ableism towards Gail. Gail worked incredibly hard and got two degrees, one in history and another in political sciences so she is more than qualified for the position. She also has a husband and a son, but I haven't named either just yet. Overall, Gail is very successful and doing well in life.

Ædith is head of the house but uses it almost exclusively to fight for the rights of minorities, starting several charities and doing volunteer work that others think is below her station.

Zoltan left home and restarted his life as a commoner. He was fairly careless until Ædith's arrest, when he's forced to go home to help Gail. Really he just tells ableists to screw off so she can do her thing. He also helps break Ædith out of prison and starts getting his act together to help his sisters fight Volkaire's tyranny because he hates aristocracy and being around rich assholes, but he really really loves his sisters and would do just about anything for them

Alright, lore letter #1! Turns out, my response is kinda long! It's a Three-parter.

Ædith's characterization due to her life experience

A minor question re: Gail's sterling achievement despite her Down Syndrome in a highly ableist country with unsupportive parents

Zoltan

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I was about to comment on how rare it is that Ædith, a middle child, displays traits that are usually seen in eldest siblings. Ædith is dutiful, expresses a sort of compulsion to shoulder a lot of responsibilities, and displays heightened sensitivity to other people's well-being or needs—skills an excellent (or way-too-self-sacrificing?) eldest sibling possesses, but not something a middle child is, well, known to develop early on.

And then it turns out it's because, since young, Ædith has to be the caretaker for Gail and the de-facto "eldest child of the house", assuming her duties and responsibilities due to Gail's struggle—genuine or societal fabrications alike—with Down Syndrome. I imagine Zoltan as a maverick and a rebel since he was a kid, so he had to be a bit of a headache source to Ædith, too.

Amazing instance of experience-informing-personality, π! I LOVE a good cause-and-effect work!

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It's neat that Gail manages to persevere despite the limitations imposed on her societally. But I think this means you'll have to answer a detail-oriented question:

Is Gail homeschooled? Or was she sent to a private school? Or did she study in a public school, or did she complete her studies in a foreign nation?

The reason I asked is because Gail's obstructions in education are twofold, as far as I can tell: her parents' attitude toward her, and her country's national attitude toward people with disabilities. I'll address the second first!

A country that is so wantonly ableist as per the Emperor's attitude will not provide accessibility options, special needs, or even any useful concerns to their (aristocrats-only) public school.

For example, there were no real facilities or policies toward children with any kind of neurodiversity or mental/developmental disorders in my Malaysian education experience growing up. One of my classmates, when I was 7, had an unknown but severe developmental disorder due to encephalitis when he was just a wee baby (Child Lyn was nosy curious enough to poke around for information regarding "this strange kid in class.") The boy had no real structural support nor dedicated teachers/assistance. His parents sent him to school because they both had to work, and he was constantly treated like he did not exist in class by most students and some teachers (not maliciously; they were just not trained to teach him, ya know?). He did not take exams, and he hardly learned how to write his name by the end of the grade. His conditions did not improve even after we changed classes (it's a typical system to get reshuffled into a new class in each grade, usually according to your school grades), and I think he was later transferred out of my school.

I don't know if he managed to enroll in a special needs school, which definitely exists in Malaysia. But that's the follow-up question for this, too:

Do schools for children with special needs exist in an openly ableist country like Odeda?

Drawing comparisons to the easiest example of an ableist fascist country in history—Nazi Germany—there were no policies, encouragement, or support for any special needs schools. Why would the state allow such an institution, after all? They were seen as a waste of time, land, money, and resources. A useless waste, for the "defects" of the species, who will "damage" the country's Darwinian approach to "perfection."

So what this follow-up question is really here for is this: how extreme is ableism in Odeda? Brandi worries about herself due to her own mental illness, and in your previous version, her OCD was actually made a hindrance by Odedan policies in her quest for love or marrying Lewis. On a scale of "how easily can someone mask to fit in a neurotypical majority," I think OCD is more easily masked than Down Syndrome, which has a much more pronounced effect on one's education. So if Brandi herself could easily be marked as "lesser" under Odedan's ableist outlook, then Gail's Down Syndrome will provoke worse, right?

If Gail was educated either in a public school or a special needs school within Odeda, then you'll have to explain how she managed to do so when society was rigged against her. Without top-down (i.e. government) inclusivity, sensitivity, and resources, it's very hard to imagine a causal pathway where a child with Down Syndrome manages to succeed under such a climate. And that's not counting the peer pressure, bullying, microaggression, and other possible systemic discrimination Gail would have to face growing up.

Her parents' ableist/non-supportive attitude toward Gail will also make it a little harder to explain why she is allowed to be homeschooled or sent to a foreign land for education.

The second set of options is to have Gail be educated the same way Maurice was: privately. Or else, she was educated in another country that is far more inclusive or egalitarian or something.

However, it's hard to imagine ableist parents actually giving any care or damn about Gail enough to worry about her education, let alone spend money on it. Even if Ædith was the one who insisted that Gail should receive education as any other child deserves, there is only so much she as the kid could do against her own parents. who are the actual masters of the household, until Ædith was at least "old enough" to have her own way of pooling in finances.

Suggestions!

Nonetheless, it is still feasible to write Gail as succeeding despite her twofold blocks! I was trying to come up with some as I elaborated on the questions. Here are some; you can remix them for even better ideas, or they can help you come up with something far superior!

Ædith and Zoltan secretly give Gail some of her earliest education, such as basic literacy. ~ Additional benefit: this scenario provides a causal reason why Zoltan, despite his rough attitude, loves and cares for his sisters deeply—he once had to teach his oldest sister and assist his middle sister with limited support from their parents. This could also be the sentiments Zoltan draws from when he decides to break Ædith out of prison and assume Gail's primary caretaker role. ~ Meanwhile, an experience like this can further bolster Ædith's commitment to disability activism. It can also become a support conversation: Ædith explaining her initial difficulty and frustration in teaching Gail. Without training and knowledge, it's incredibly challenging to teach anyone with mental disabilities. I, uh, speak from experience. ~ To Gail, this experience is a source of strength, because she will always remember that her siblings love her regardless of what the world thinks and that there are people who do not look down on her just because she's "defective." This can translate to her own drive to succeed and seek her own happiness.

A sympathetic governess or private tutor. Such a person could originally be assigned to be Ædith and Zoltan's teacher, but they decided to secretly teach Gail as well. ~ Even if the parents found out, the governess or tutor could argue that they would not ask for extra compensation for Gail's lessons. ~ The governess/tutor could even argue that by teaching Gail, they can help her mask herself better so as to "not bring shame to your esteemed family" or "draw Volkaire's ire for siring such a child." Pragmatic arguments by the tutor for a far more compassionate goal, basically.

A sympathetic relative living outside Odeda takes in Gail out of sympathy or kindness. This way, Gail can get any sort of education over a long period in a foreign land that is less ableist than Odeda.

That's all I could come up with for now. I hope it gets your juice flowing!

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Not much to say about Zoltan for now, since he's pretty much a rogue version of Ædith in a way. I like his addition nonetheless! Think he can provide a lil' foil to Ædith this way, ahahahah!

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And this is why I can only answer this type of letter slowly and little by little! Look at the RAMBLE holy shit. YAP SPELL S+ I SWEAR. Please be patient with my slow ass, ahahhaha!

I have to go back to work after this amazing brain stimulation (your story is better than my work SO MANYFOLD)! Thanks for the crumbs; 'tis was delectable!

Will proceed to other letters (THE HABAD ONE I FOUND IT) in due time! That includes your intriguing new project too, ahahahahah!

[mortul]

so! i heard you like condensed backstories of characters. ... oh, wait, no? well. too bad. you're gettin' one anyway. 🧎

CHRISTOPH'S BACKSTORY, A NOT-SO-SPEEDRUN:

christoph dowell, born in dallas, texas and "found" deceased in, you guessed it, dallas, texas. his parents were clifford and barbara, both excessively wealthy people that donated to multitudes upon multitudes of charities. the dowells gain quite the reputation for this, seen as "ultra charitable" and "not like the rest of those rich folk".

he's not an only child, actually, and is the dowell's third and final child; he's the baby of the family and definitely acted like it. the eldest, biologically speaking, would be his sister: emilie. benjamin, adopted by the dowells a few years before emilie's birth. in modern times, considering all of the siblings' various, err... "situations", this would put christoph at "23", emilie at "27", and benjamin at "30". pay no mind to the quotations, it'll hopefully make sense later.

clifford and barbara would regularly participate in events, auctions, charity runs, and the like. occasionally, they would be approached for interviews at their home due to their reputation preceding them as people. whenever this occurred, they would always command the children to be on their "best behavior", which was faced with prompt obedience... save for christoph. there were times where he was -- politely, at least! -- asked to leave yet his two siblings could stay. he'd oblige because why wouldn't he? it was boring. but it did make him wonder.

an absolute menace of a teenaged boy, acting the typical way boys do-- loud, obnoxious, rude, and just quite awful all at the same time. several people in the neighborhood (down the hill, anyway. because, y'know, a mansion doesn't belong in a neighborhood. nah, it's gonna be the KING of the neighborhood, y'know?) referred to christoph as a "bad seed" and it only encouraged him to lean further into it. for example: he'd pick fights with benjamin all the time (sometimes he'd win.), he'd pull on emilie's hair every so often just because, there'd be the occasional theft of local stores and their goods, a middle finger made at a police officer here and a mooning (yes, really.) made at a taxi driver there, and, as a bonus, drank his first beer when he was about fourteen. all of that and more.

the dowells, as parents, were very absent. their children more or less were made to fend for themselves, only enriched by the occasional attempt by an on-sight nanny or by one of the family servants. they did what all "good parents" do: they provided their children a home, food, and good education. what more was there to ask for?

for a brief moment in christoph's (and his siblings, too.) life, he was homeschooled until he turned 10. to his and benjamin's knowledge, it had something to do with emilie but the "why" would remain unknown for years to come, primarily due to emilie herself refusing to talk about it. christoph did catch the occasional glimpse of his sister leaving the home every other thursday, always around 5 in the PM, and driving somewhere out of town. back in the day, though, there was no google, so he never figured out for what. by then, his siblings were all admitted into a public school-- there was no special treatment there, mostly because their parents saw no point in it. none of the kids, again, thought too hard about it. clifford's official reason, however, is stated such: "our kids aren't any better than the rest of them; there's no reason why they need to go to some prestigious school when, in truth, all they're probably doing there is paying off the teachers to give them straight a's, anyway." this was seen as incredibly down to earth and oh-so noble of both him and barbara.

nonetheless, they all adjust appropriately. emilie finds her own little friend group, benjamin makes himself another home in the library and is fine with being a bit of a loner, and christoph... well, christoph makes some new friends. in terms of grades, benjamin's outpacing both of them with emilie coming in second with mostly a's and some b's. christoph's got mostly b's with a few c's. it's fine.

christoph befriends a few boys: cam, tyler ("tye" for short.), cliff, darrell, and the de facto leader, pearce. they're all collectively seen as "bad kids", so they stick to each other like glue naturally. they only grow closer as the years go by, starting their "sovereign" over the school -- and, soon, the neighborhood -- with harmless pranks. these range from raiding the girls' locker room, sticking gum in people's hair, sabotaging a teacher's chair, and hurling a few spitballs here and there. over time, they grow more and more in intensity, at pearce's behest, with the rest of the boys none the wiser. this is because it's a slow ascension, not too sudden. peer pressure, too, was an obvious factor. christoph never thought much of it, because it was fun. who cares if news of yet another robbery broke into the headlines a few days after the other? no one knew, and no one was going to know. getting caught seemed impossible, and it was. for a while, anyway.

their fifth robbery attempt goes down the shitter, and they're caught. christoph's seventeen when this happens, and his father finds out. his whole family finds out, but his father is the important part in all of this. "a few strings" are pulled behind-the-scenes by dear, old dad and, just like that, christoph's no longer looking at a sentence nor juvy in the eye. he should be thankful for that, he thinks.

his dad beats him later on that night, and it lasts about two hours. his siblings are forced to watch and his mother, too. barbara doesn't seem to care too much, only pulling her husband back when she notices they're about to be late for a dinner with a few other, rich families. all throughout the thrashing, christoph isn't exactly told anything, other than that he was "fucking stupid" for "getting caught". his siblings learn this, too. as he drags himself back to his room and, like the impressionable teenager he is, learns one, important rule: don't get caught.

the morning after this beating allows for christoph to bond with his siblings, with emilie knocking first on his bedroom door and asking if they could come in. all christoph remembers of this moment, in particular, is them sitting in silence before he asks them why they're there. emilie tells him, "we didn't want you to be alone, is all." and they fall quiet again. watching their parents leave for yet another "charity run", benjamin breaks the silence with some small talk to emilie. from there, it evolves-- it's no longer small talk but a full dialogue, filled with jokes, apologies, and shared grievances. this is a day christoph tells himself to never forget, knowing that that was the day he vowed to be a better brother to them both.

when he's allowed back to school (it's not good optics, after all, to go back to school looking like a truck ran you over.) there's not much fanfare. sure, rumors are flying around but they're quickly snuffed out. things go back to normal surprisingly quickly, and the rest of his friends are back in school, too. whatever might've happened between them and their families, it obviously wasn't life-changing.

during their final years in highschool, christoph and pearce start a... "relationship" of sorts. it's not quite casual nor is it that serious. it's enough to be sexual in nature, but it's not enough for christoph to feel good about it. this also wasn't helped in the fact that, at times, pearce would push the subject and hassle at christoph-- that was also when he learned another, important lesson: pearce doesn't like hearing the word, "no". to this day, christoph rejects the notion that he was assaulted or, well... maybe it's better to say that he's uncertain at the prospect. to accept it means reliving it, and that's just something he doesn't want to do right now.

years go by, and christoph starts spending less and less time at home and more and more away. so does emilie and benjamin. no one really cares, considering his parents stayed as busy as ever. they all moved on to their own things-- hobbies, higher education, jobs... it was the natural flow of things. benjamin was the first to move out, leaving emilie and christoph still living at home. they didn't mind, and he'd occasionally visit them anyway. somehow, too, his friend group was still as tight as ever; pearce remained as the "leader" and all was well. over time, he was starting to express interest in the occult (uh oh.) and indulged the rest of the group in this newfound fascination. everyone had their own, individual opinions about it but... well, y'know what they say: peer pressure. as such, the general consensus seemed that they thought it was pretty cool.

when christoph's 23, that's when pearce approaches him in private. at first, he thinks it's all one big, fat joke: i mean... seriously? pearce wants to summon a demon? no way. but... oh man, the look on his face... christoph knew pearce meant it. there was an attempt, on his end, at coping with it; maybe pearce was playing around, maybe he was just trying to make whatever they were actually going to do sound cool, or, uh... maybe... something else that wasn't as stupid as summoning a demon? he doesn't push back as hard as he should-- he knows this now. pearce manages to convince him (think about it: satanic panic's all the rage right now. wouldn't it be kickass to prove them all wrong, say that they tried it and nothing happened? now they're the smart ones and the town's exposed.) and asks one more favor: emilie should come along. that's something christoph does try to say no to, but it's a little too late. emilie's a sneaky, little eavesdropper and assures pearce that she'll be there, under the pretense that "someone's going to havta drive my baby brother home, anyway." christoph can't remember the last time he felt such a heavy pit in his stomach.

they go to the proposed location and it's a barn. for real. not just any old barn, no no. it's an abandoned barn. cliché, right? even emilie laughed about it, and she, like... never laughs at stupid shit like that. unfortunately, that's the last time christoph hears his sister's laugh for a loooong time.

as soon as they set foot in the barn, they're both immediately ambushed by the group of five. christoph's overpowered by two of the boys with emilie pinned down to the ground by the other two. one moment, she's still alive and then the next? dead. pearce stabs her with a funky-looking knife, and that's that. there's no fanfare, no special effects, no ominous background music. nothing. it's just silence, punctuated by the boys' panting. and, of course, by christoph flying into a rage and managing to land a few hits on those he once called his friends. this lasts only for a few minutes, however, before they kill him too. as he goes totally limp, the last thing he hears is pearce shouting at them and them fleeing the scene.

he loses consciousness shortly after and stays dead for, approximately, four days. and let me tell you: waking up after being, quite literally, dead is a wild experience. of course he has questions (such as, primarily: where the hell did his stab wound go?) but there's no one around to answer him. what makes this whole thing even stranger is that emilie's body is gone, too. there's a twinge of hope inside of him, telling him that maybe she's still alive-- but how? maybe she's the same as him... whatever the hell he is now. or, maybe, she's something else entirely. all he knew, in that moment, that there's only one way to find out: hunt them all down one-by-one and make 'em talk. killing them, of course, comes next.

[lovelyxhorrors]

The Disaster Mission With The Insect Mancer and the Gravity Maifoso - Part One

An action and funny drabble for @the-silver-peahen-residence involved our two muses; Chuya Nakahara from BSD ( Peahen-mun's muse ) and my OC, Pete Gnat. There are some moments of seriousness in the first part but things get more hectic in the second part.

----- Summary ----

Chuya and Pete were assigned on a mission. But this unlikely pair don't like each other for reasons and so they will cooperate with together without any further incident.

----

The collaboration between the Lovely Horrors and Port Mafia is still ongoing. Sid is in discussions with the boss while everyone has their missions. Matt is usually paired with Ryunosuke, Charlie with Gin, Shrika with Higuchi, Jason with Tachihara, Lex with and a few others.

But this pair-up is the worst thing that Chuya Nakahara has to deal with. He doesn't know much about the other Horrors. He heard they're pretty good at their jobs, especially with hunting and killing. Hell...some of them are pretty reasonable like Sid but they shouldn't be messed with. If Chuya had to describe this.

Matt is just crazy. Shrika flirts with him to the point where he blushes all the time and he can't get any job done. Jason is a wild guy which is not surprising since he's a werewolf. Charlie is quiet and he can't really tell what she thinks, Cobin hates everyone equally with that smug attitude of his, and oh Lex creeps him out even with those bandages! He is told not to look at his face but goddamn..that guy's face looks fine!

He can handle them as they can be managed and reasoned with. But by god! What did he have to pair up with Pete of all people! What is the boss thinking?!

Okay...sure...Pete looks after Yumeno and he really takes care of him which he really respects. Yumeno tells Gin and Ryunosuke that they're having a wonderful time and he's being homeschooled. Chuya has no problem with it. Not at all.

But the bugs. THE BUGS! Those slimy creepy little shit crawlers scare the living shit out of him. He remembers when one crawled up his leg, a freaking huge black centipede! That happened when Chuya restrained Pete whom he didn't know that this punk is a skinny-ass blondie that look like an emo! Chuya can't help but laugh knowing this scary-ass monster is a punk. H

Then he felt something crawling up his leg, Chuya froze and slowly looked down at his pants before pulling one of them up to see one. He can't believe that he screamed like a little girl. Never that he yelled like that. Thank god, nobody is there to hear about it.

Ever since then...any bug he sees, he makes sure to walk away from. Fast. Freaking bugs remind him of Pete. Hell...he even uses his ability to make them go away instead of squashing them with his bare hands. He hates Pete! He is a second guy below Dazai!

"Can't believe I am stuck with you," Chuya muttered.

"Can say the same thing," Pete said.

Pete doesn't like Chuya. To him, he is always angry and likes to get on his nerves with his insults. He even teased him about his body build whenever he came out of the suit. Always ask him why he is so skinny at his bones and he needs to eat more. This guy always pokes fun at him and his costume. Hell, most of the time Chuya is in a bad mood. It gets worse when he runs into the ADA and Dazai. He is in the worst mood making Pete have to deal with it. When he gets really irritated and stressed out, he smokes! It bothers him so much! Oh when he drinks, he gets drunk easily making him pick him up on Matt's orders. Just why?! It's like dealing with a drunk uncle.

For now, their job is surveillance and he hopes that this mission is just boring. Another normal day at least, Boring enough for Chuya to cool off and have him not do anything stupid.

"Ugh...." Chuya sighed as he is drinking his coffee milk. "Hey, anything yet, bug brain?"

Pete ignores the nickname but answers, "Nothing yet."

"Tch. This is boring." Chuya sighed as he keeps sipping his drink.

"Do you prefer problems or no problems?" Pete said.

"Doesn't matter to me, it means there is no action going on. Means no fighting!" Chuya groaned.

"Really?" Seriously. Pete thought, looking at him with a look.

"Yeah." Yeah, seriously. Chuya frowns at him before looking up at the sky. "Anyway...I got a question."

Ugh. Here we go. He's probably asking something stupid. Pete thought.

'Why the hell do you wear a suit?"

Really? Pete thought but he answered, "Because I felt like it."

"Isn't that hard or something? Wouldn't you get overheated inside of that thing?" Chuya asked.

"Not really," Pete said.

"And why's that?" Chuya asked.

"Because the bugs help." Pete answered simply.

'The what?" Chuya blinked.

"The bugs help," Pete repeated. Chuya felt a shiver down his spine, he shivers in disgust. "You're saying....that there are bugs inside your suit?"

"Yeah. Didn't you know that?" Pete answers, but he can't help but smile at Chuya's pale expression.

"That's....really gross!" He yelled, taking steps back away from Pete, "What the hell?!" Chuya commented, pointing at him angrily, "Why won't you transform into a monster like Shrika and Jason?!"

"Because I don't have that ability," Pete stated the obvious making a face.

"And why not?"

"Because it just isn't! Why? Do you want to me turn into a bug monster?" Pete said. Now thinking, Chuya had to imagine Pete as a bug monster with those claws, bug-like features, and all that. "Nevermind." Chuya doesn't want to think about that.

Pete sighs. Good.

"But I gotta ask."

Oh god. What now?

"What got you into the fraction of Horrors, anyway?"

What kind of question is that?

"Because I kill."

"Heh. Everyone can kill, bug brain" Chuya scoffed. "What I am saying is why you join the fraction like that. I'm going, to be honest, here, you don't strike me as a type that enjoys killing."

"Huh?" Pete said. Inside his suit, he looks confused.

"Your friends." Chuya begins, "Not sure about Sid but so far, Shrika likes to drop people from the sky, Jason likes to maul people, Cobin likes to spray bullets at people that pisses him off and Charlie likes to strangle in her trap for some reason. I don't know about Lex who uses freaking light lasers, and....don't get me started on your leader, Matt."

"From what I have seen so far, your friends kill because they felt like it. You on the other only kill when it's needed."

"Okay, what are you getting at here?" Pete is getting annoyed with this.

"You're the most sane out of all of them." Said Chuya. Pete looks over to Chuya looking confused as he said this. "Why?" Pete asked.

"Why?" Chuya can't help but laugh, "Because you kill those corrupted pro-heroes because they hurt Yumeno." He said. "And after you are satisfied with that, you don't seek out in fighting or rather kill other people for the kicks of it. From what I heard based on you what do, you go for the surveillance for your fraction letting others know where your enemy is. You're more like a bodyguard than a killer." Chuya taking a sip of his drink.

"What's your point??" Where is this guy going with this?

"My point is that your teammates are freaking monsters. You...even with that creepy bug suit on, you're the most human out of everyone in there. Hell...even the low-ranking members of your fraction; the Followers who took the HYDE pills prefer dealing with you and Sid." He said. Pete narrows his eyes at this before turning his head away to glance towards the sky.

"I mean...if you ask me...you're probably more suited to becoming mafia material."

"Forgot it. I'm not interested in anything like that." Pete quickly said.

"Sorry, sorry. You don't have the guts to become a mafioso anyway." Chuya shrugged him, annoying Pete even further.

Who the hell would want to become a gangster?! Pete made a face but his monstrous appearance didn't show it. Only the inside.

"So that's why I'm asking," Chuya asked. Pete exhales deeply, "Do you really want to know?"

"Yeah."

"Because they asked me to." Pete answered as if that was the only answer. This made Chuya blink and looks at Pete in disbelief. "Ha?! Wait...so you joined because they asked you to? That sounds way too suspicious." Chuya frowns.

In Pete's mind, he recalls a memory.

He is laying on the floor inside his own childhood home. There were two bodies in the closet with flies around and a small body buried outside the backyard. He felt empty as he stares off into the distance. Sometimes..he dreams only to wake up in a dark room. Surrounded by trash bags, boxes, and decaying things while his bugs are buzzing around. He didn't want to do anything nor want anything. He became a demon for the sake of revenge but now...he feels empty. Then something breaks inside his house.

Light beams through the plaster wall making his eyes wince.

He had his bugs attack but all bugs were killed immediately with the use of knives.

"Hey....are you the one living in this house?" A young man with red eyes and scars asked him cheerily.

----

After recalling that memory, Pete responds, "It's true. I was in a dark hole surrounded by filth. I was laying around on the floor and making sure my bugs keep everyone away from me. That's when Matt came in and he ask. Well...after fighting him and defeating me, he asked me to join. So I join the Horrors." Pete gives him a short version. Chuya looks dumbfounded by this before raising a brow at this, he shakes his head with his arms crossed

"Man...that sounds like you were depressed and Matt got you out of it."

Well...you make it sound like that. It does sound depressing.

"You can say that," Pete answered. Because of Matt, maybe he didn't have anything but follow Matt and Sid since he has nothing else to live for. Until now.

"What about you?"

"Huh?"

"It's only fair to ask since you're so curious about me," Pete said. "Why did you join Port Mafia?"

Chuya sighs loudly not wanting to argue with that point, so he goes to explain, "You know Dazai Osamu?"

"The detective guy that is with the ADA. Yeah, I met him." He asked, recalling the man back at the aquarium when he is confronted about Yumeno. Chuya nods, "Yeah...that's him. That bastard got me to join. Not by choice anyway."

Pete looks over at him as he listens. Chuya goes on to give a bit of his backstory about himself. He is part of a group called the Sheep; a group consisting largely of teenagers down on their luck that maintain their own territory. They begin to attack Port Mafia and other organizations. Along the way, Dazai was sent to combat them, or rather...he kidnapped the Sheep's members to get Chuya to work for them temporarily in order to save them. To do that, he has to help them with something. Along the way, Chuya tells the members of Sheep that he is doing this for them and is told things will work out. However....the Sheep in betraying him while compelling Chuya to join Port Mafia.

"Dazai came over when I was poisoned and weak. With his squad with orders to kill them all. To protect them, I will join Port Mafia so he can spare his life. Hell! Bastard gave me that choice if I want to save them..." He tightens his fists.

"Even if they betray you?" Pete asked. Chuya shakes his head, "They didn't betray me...rather....they were scared of me because that bastard manipulated them into thinking I betrayed them." Chuya growled.

Pete never thought Dazai would do that. Hearing that his ability is to cancel other abilities from Yumeno. "Hold on...I don't understand. He's part of the ADA why would he do something like that?"

"Hmph. Isn't it obvious, you didn't know that Dazai is a former Mafia member? A former executive?" Chuya replied making face the city. Pete blinks. Actually, that makes sense, why would Dazai approach him at the aquarium. But he has a feeling there's more to the man but he used to be part of the Port Mafia??

"I........I'm sorry that you went through something like that."

"Huh?" Chuya blinked.

"I am sorry that you were forced to join them after being betrayed by the other group you care about. It sounds like you didn't have a choice. The only choice you made is that you did it in order to protect them while wanting to live at the same time. Maybe your friends will understand....someday." Said Pete.

Chuya blinked at Pete and his....empathy. It's genuine and human. Dazai is right. Pete is more human than most of the Horrors. He doesn't know his life but based on his answer, it sounds like he had it rough. He closes his eyes as he sighs.

When the Entomancer looks at Chuya but he didn't expect his expression. The mafia executive looks at Pete with such annoyance as if he just offend him and shit in his cereal.

Huh?

"What?" Pete wondered if he said something wrong. "What's wrong?"

"Tch! What's wrong?! It's what you said that's wrong! I don't need your damn pity! Heck! I bet you're laughing inside!" He looks away with his arms crossed.

"I'm not." Pete said, looking at him in confusion. "What do you want me to say???"

"I don't know! Anything else besides that!?" Chuya exclaimed. "Besides...you shouldn't apologize for something you weren't there for! Now you make feel me bad!"

"Uhh...okay...uh....that sucks?" Pete asked making Chuya groan. "Forget it. I thought maybe I can kill some time by talking to you so I get something out of you or something but damn...I never thought you had the most boring reason to join a killer fraction."

"So you asked me that question just to kill time?" Pete said, looking at him with a face. Chuya shrugs.

Why does Pete even bother???

"Looks like you two aren't killing each other!" A chirp is heard making Chuya and Pete turned to the familiar voice. Chuya blinked. "Hold on! How long have you been standing here?!" He pointed at the person in question with his finger. Shrika.

Shrika tilts her head with a coy smile. "A while." She giggled.

"What is it?" Pete asked, getting straight to point.

"So far....from our end, there are no problems from the sky. Higuichi went back to report so I came here to check up on you two! So how is it going?"

"No activity yet," Pete said, thanking god that there is no activity! He can't imagine if he and Chuuya got into a battle right now. But the fates decided to laugh at him when his bugs picked up something.

"What?" Pete narrows his eyes to which Shrika picked, "Something wrong, Pete?"

"Grrrr.."

"Looks like you did find something." Shrika said.

"Finally some action!" Chuuya grinned making Pete slump his shoulders inside, wishing he can go home already. "Hey bug brain! Let's go! Where are they at?!"

I hate this job....Pete growled.

"At the far right downtown...." Pete tells him to which Chuya grins before he jumps off.

"Wow...he seems excited. Aren't you going after him?" Shrika said.

"I don't have a choice..." Pete answers and follows.

-----

Once the disastrous duo got to the scene...rather Chuya beat him to it as he had things taken care of. Pete didn't like how he got information out of people when most were being knocked out or ended up being dead by accident. Though...Pete did make sure none of their enemies escaped from their location as some of their enemies were now paralyzed.

However...that wasn't the problem. The problem is Pete trying to calm him down and prevent him from killing their enemies. He had to remember that Boss Mori wanted some of them alive.

"Hey! Knock it off! You're going to-"

"You know what?! I'm sick of you telling me what to do!" Chuya yelled.

"I'm just saying if you want to get things done right. You need to keep some of them alive for information!"

"Oh! So now you want to act smart?! The hell is your problem!"

"I got no problem! You're the one who has the problem! Your gravity manipulation is hurting my bugs!"

"Your bugs?! Oh sorry!" Then Chuya makes a face, "NO, I AM NOT! If you care so much about them, tell them to get out of the way!"

"Uhhhh...." The enemy gang members are staring at the two dumbfounded as they are sweatdropped. Are these guys for real? Forget Chuuya Nakaahra, but that bug monster is arguing with him. Are they working together or fighting each other!?

"Damn, bug! You know what?! I think we should fight. I never fought someone who controls bugs! This is the time I will beat you up for real!"

"You're joking right?" Pete can't believe what he's hearing. Then again...there are times when Pete wants to set Chuya straight. Maybe this is a good time to do that, right now.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" Chuuya activated his ability, surrounding his own body in a red aura. Pete breathes as he imbues his own suit in green aura. "Fine then! Let's see what you got-"

A swish is heard as the enemies look to see Chuuya's leg raised to the side and the head of the monster flying off. The spectators gasped in fright. He kicked this monster's head off. The monster's body drops to its knees. The head rolls over to the enemy leader who widens his eyes at this, takes a step back, and falls on his ass.

"OH SHIT!"

The enemies look between the mafioso and the monster arguing then before they know it. The headless monster rose from the ground and then several tendrils came out. Upon a closer look, the tendrils look like enraging centipedes with clicking noises. The enemies were now horrified and almost sick to their stomachs.

What kind of monster is this?

"Bastard...." The monster spoke. "You want to play like that, fine!" And then the windows begin to shatter, as a swarm of insects fills the area.

"Everyone get down!" Said the enemy leader as all of them dropped to their knees. They need to find a way to escape.

"Damn godfather wannabe bastard!" Pete's head is now picked up and is placed back on the suit, fixing it. Then with a raise of his hand, the swarm surrounds Chuuya. With a growl, Chuuya stomps his foot, bringing up rubble and hitting the bugs.

"Bring it, you fucking bug!" Chuuya shouted.

The enemy leader has no idea what's going on but he is not planning to stay here to see who wins. "We gotta get out of here!" He tells his men. They hightailed out of there as they heard crashing and cursing.

Pete bum rushes at Chuuya, grabbing him by the throat and pins him against the wall but Chuuya kicks him hard. Pete spits out a flying roach from his mouth to which Chuya yells in fright and gets out of the way.

"YOU SICK BASTARD! YOU THREW A COCKROACH AT ME?!" Chuuya yelled before bringing up a floor using his ability and throwing it at him. Pete easily smashes the floor and went at Chuuya with punches before striking him with a centipede. The two fight inside the warehouse to the point where it collapses upon them, creating a crash. Both emerged from the wreckage. Pete is missing an arm and a tusk. Chuya rolls his shoulder and is missing his hat. He growls.

Before they went at it. A voice stops.

"What do you think you two doing?" A grave voice stops them. Both turned their heads to see Sid and Gin who is sighing and shaking her head.

"You're supposed to bring down a group messing with your operations. What is this?" Sid asked.

Pete and Chuuya looked at each other, then saw the entire mess and pointed at each other, "HE STARTED IT!" They said in unison. Gin sighs loudly, "You guys."

"He kicked my head!"

"He spat out a cockroach at me!"

The two blame each other as they point at each other, listing what they did to each other. Sid stares wondering if Pete and Chuuya are acting like 5-year-olds fighting. Gin had enough, "QUIET! Just....enough. We're going back and you two explain to the boss what you did. Shrika and the rest already round up the enemy." She said, telling them.

Pete and Chuuya slumped their arms but both looked at each other with a glare. The girls turn their backs and lead.

--- At Port Mafia headquarters ----

They are waiting for their meeting with Boss Mori who is taking in reports from fellow Port members. Soon, it's going to be their turn to explain why a warehouse has collapsed on their turf.

Both are still roughed up as they are dirty. They grumble at each other.

"I hate you." Pete said.

"Like-fucking-wise." Chuuya said.

Another day has ended.

To be continued.

[moonfurthetemmie]

other random sunfall shit that's either funny or important

Another cut because it's a little Long with all the stuff I threw into one mf Thing

Funny fun facts from the original dream:

In my dream this actually started out as Kai redoing Dreamswap, and then halfway through my brain was like 'actually this is Silver's AU' and completely forgot kai except for the art style for the mental image of everyone in the frozen living room. I forgot about the first half when I woke up tho 

Cross and Ink were dudes again even though they're girls To Me. Which is so funny 

dude the ice chairs were sick

The ice chairs melted when the new boyes also thawed out. very sad. The two Inks, single Finch, and single Cross were there and the chairs started melting first and they were all like "Cross what did you do" and Cross was so indignant. 

Dream II momentarily turned into Reverie/OG Dream when he was revived and tried to write 'hi Dream!!!' on Dream I's old notes. we had to tell him old Dream was gone. I think he got sad but around there is where I woke up

Dream II had my awful cursive handwriting for some reason FDFDSFSFDS

Finch was like....i don't know really prim and proper?? He was sitting like a princess in front of the fireplace for the crack photograph. I don't know what that was about but that's the main reason I think he was supposed to get a new version 

yeah the one Ink had all the vibes of OG, and the paint thing, just with DS's outfit. I don't know what the fuck that was about. It was so stupid (funny). Cross and the other Ink were much closer to the camera and Ink looked and acted more like DS, and Cross...tbh i don't remember. he seemed pretty normal. Maybe he wasn't though.

I never actually saw any of the castle except for that one room. it was just 'yeah they're in an ice castle. and frozen

Other stuff:

It was going to be cryosleep and not petrification, bc that’s what it was in the dream, but there is literally no reason to do that to them. Freezing Orion and Corvus isn’t going to made them stronger it’s just going to make them sopping wet and really dumb for the first hour after they thaw out

Corvus looks terrified as a statue :))

Glaze doesn’t respond to her name in donut shops because she just automatically assumes it’s someone ordering a glazed donut instead of someone calling her name.

Do you know how long it took me to push Corvus and Glaze together. Anyways Corv’s pet name for Glaze is Donut and Corv is the the reason Glaze is now actually putting effort into deal with The Maelstrom. 

There were actually quite a few survivors from JR. There was even enough to keep it going (even if just to say we survived. There’s not many of us but we’re still here and by god we’re doing our best), but they were scattered and the few others Ink and Finch found had already resigned themselves to trying to make a new life for themselves in this apocalyptic hellscape that the MV has become. 

“Alright you little shits it’s scavenger hunt time. Whoever finds the most stuff on the list gets a candy bar” - exhausted Ink at 11pm having to go on an emergency grocery run because 4-year-old Temp and Glaze eat way more than she thought they would and she is still trying to figure out how much food she needs for the three of them. No, they can’t read yet; their lists are in pictographs. Reason #99 why she should not be responsible for kids. She really needs another adult. 

Ink almost didn’t bother enrolling Temp and Glaze in a school bc it seemed like a lot of headache-inducing paperwork, but the lure of ‘time to herself without two hyperactive children’ was too strong. 

Xena and Java didn’t go to a proper school like the other clones, tho. Cross and Error just weren’t sure they could get Xena and Java to school. They did their best to homeschool them instead. Finch and Hacker gave them some basic shit to teach the kids too, because Finch was pretty sure they’d forget some actually important stuff. He was right btw. Xena and Java are lucky they know as much math as they do. They’re also lucky Cross and Error were willing to ask for help teaching them how to read and stuff because dear god

Cross really can’t blame Xena for not wanting to do this, but Xena hasn’t turned in her resignation form yet, which is the only reason Cross is pushing her to work on her shit. Xena does not realize this yet. Glaze is also seeing this and is very sure the older ones are forcing them to do this, which is why she hasn’t said anything. 

All the older ones kinda decide to start training the kids to fight at different points. Finch and Hacker took the longest to. As much as Finch wants Wren to be able to at least defend themself, he really doesn’t think young kids need to learn to fight. 

Oddly enough Ink took the second longest. She wasn’t too worried about it being appropriate or whatever to teach kids of a certain age to fight, her logic was just “I have very little patience. Kids test my patience more than most things. Kids are also very stupid. I should wait until they’re less likely to get themselves killed trying to learn how to hold a stick with a sharp pointy end.” She did teach them how to use their other magic, though. 

Cross and Error started teaching Xena and Java about their magic pretty early on. Their logic was ‘if they know how to control it young, there won’t be problems with runaway magic. Just problems figuring out where the cookie jar went and catching kids swinging from the ceiling’. They still wait for them to be at least double digits old before starting combat training. And they didn’t use real weapons.

All of the clones have the same birthday. 

Oddly enough, Aster actually wanting to help encouraged the others a lot. ‘You mean you WANT to be involved in this thing we don’t feel we have a choice in??? …maybe it won’t be that bad.’

None of the clones realized Corvus and Orion were going to wake up in their lifetimes. Especially not this soon holy shit. 

Had Corvus and Orion been more prepared, that one fight may not have gone as badly as it did. As it was they were young and inexperienced and had even less idea what they were doing than the others. They’re lucky they didn’t die. Hell they’re lucky it was only about 20 years and not 100. Or 500. 

Corvus and Orion do have a destiny bond. Had being turned to stone killed Orion, Corvus would not have lasted even a second longer in that first big fight with the Maelstrom. 

Also Corvus and Orion are both right about becoming radiants/corrupts. It would make it much easier for them to deal with the Maelstrom, but it would also make them much more vulnerable. 

Worst Ending Corvus & Orion: 

Corvus’ body is now made entirely of corruption and she can turn into a ✨goo puddle✨like OG Nightmare. Her body is very, very endothermic. Worst ice hands ever

Orion on the other hand is very EXOthermic and very very hot so like. Be careful

Orion is an unfortunate combination of Dream’s holier-than-thou-ness and some pretty awful manipulative tendencies. Obviously she is in the right, smh. But if she needs to do a little persuading, she’s not above using tricks and lies. She fights dirty, don’t let her talk of honor and righteousness fool you

Corvus is, surprisingly, rather honest most of the time, which doesn’t help Glaze when Corv offers to let her join her. Still, the corruption in her wants only one thing, and she will stoop as low as she needs to achieve it. 

Poor, poor Glaze. She promised herself she’d protect Corvus, and now she has to help kill her.

The pair of them are mere shadows of their former selves.

ALSO hey here's a bonus Xena that no one asked for (even though i said someone oughta smh)

[real-life-cloud]

Hey uhh I vaguely remember reading in your tags somewhere some time maybe long ago that you were homeschooled, do you mind me asking just generally what that was like? Don‘t share if you don‘t want to

Y'know what, sure! I like telling stories and oversharing on the internet tbh. Strap in lol it got long.

Tldr; homeschooling was isolating, it definitely set me back socially. The self paced nature of the work put way too much pressure on me, and now I have terrible choice paralysis and rarely finish a project I start. If you or someone you know is considering homeschooling someone, make sure they know what they're getting into.

A lot of homeschooled kids were put into that kind of schooling because their parents want to monitor them. That's not healthy. I'm sure that's not how it is every time and that there's applications of homeschooling that work for people, but it needs to be done well. Kids need to be properly socialized, supported, and given the privacy they need.

Some background info on why I left public: There was an incident where a teacher yelled at me for no good reason in front of the entire student body during lunch. (I was holding a piece of paper (THAT ANOTHER TEACHER GAVE ME FOR HIM TO SIGN) in the lunchroom which wasn't allowed??) I was EXTREMELY embarrassed and anxious around that teacher from then on. I got moved to a different class so I didn't have to be near him. The guidance counselor was really helpful during the whole thing.

OKAY storytime 📖

"Homeschooling" can mean a couple different things , I did it two different ways at points in my life. I feel like the first thing ppl think of is being taught at home by a tutor or parent, but I wasn't homeschooled in this way. And I was in public school until about 7th grade actually!

However, my mom was super mad, and wanted to talk to the man that yelled at me, but the principal wouldn't let her. They kept giving excuses as to why but the jist was: the guy was an asshole and they knew it. SO mom got fed up with the staff and just pulled me out of public school altogether. It was actually my idea! The thought of seeing that teacher again was so upsetting that I just wanted to leave.

[ I feel like I should also mention that I grew up religious and that it was super common for kids to be homeschooled in my church; you were looked up to for homeschooling your kid bc it "kept them away from bad association" and "gave them more time to devote to god." So my mom didn't really fight me on the suggestion. ]

First, I did cyber school! I was in cyber school from 7th - 10th ish. I was given a laptop that blocked anything fun (but not well, so I zipped right past all the blocks lol) and had online classes. It was similar to how I think school worked during covid? No cameras yet tho, just a teacher on VC with power point slides and a chatroom for students. I was a pretty good student up until this point, but I started barely scraping by a lot of classes and failing others. I think I retook pre algebra 3 times? I passed with a very low D 🫶

And SOME classes were self paced. Those were the Fucking Worst. No teacher, not really. I could technically email a teacher with questions but I was a horribly anxious little 14 yr old so no way was I gonna do that. I remember one year I had a civics class that was self paced and I was so lost and stressed about it that I procrastinated til the entire course had like a week til it was due. And it wasn't just tests, I had to make multiple power points on different topics throughout the course. I had a complete emotional breakdown in front of my mom cause I'd been hiding this from her. I was so afraid she'd be mad, but she helped me finish everything on time. She basically did like half of it for me, bless her. God I hated that class.

So at this point school is going. Kind of really bad. My grades suck and half the time I cheat. I don't really have friends because all I do is sit on my laptop and go to church with my family. I didn't have any contact with my old school friends because they weren't a part of my religion. (Jehovah's Witnesses are super exclusive and cult-y) And teenage me has just realized they're not straight!

Like many isolated, repressed, gay teenagers, I mainly expressed myself online. But a few months after I turned 16, my parents found my secret email account that was connected to all my private social media. It was very apparent I was gay. So I outed myself by accident. They pretty much took away all my access to the internet and started paying super close attention to the media I consumed. I'm just glad they didn't go to our church elders and tell on me for my sins or whatever. Life continued as "normal" with them just. Pretending it didn't happen and hoping and praying that I'd magically turn straight. I actually recently found out that my parents NEVER talked about my sexuality with each other during this stage. They just completely avoided the topic.

[ another note, my entire immediate family is actually out of that religion now, and everybody's cool with the gay thing 🫶 my dad actually told me that my coming out is what made him question some things with our religion. ]

But then it became a question of what I was supposed to do for school. I couldn't be on the Websites That Turn You Gay, but I was also doing bad in school and would be put behind a grade or two. Not to mention I was terribly anxious and hadn't really socialized with people my age for the past 3 or so years.

That's how I started correspondence schooling! Another kind of home schooling. It's exactly what it sounds like. The school sends you books and tests, then you mail back the finished papers to be graded. And you might be thinking, Cloudy didn't you just go over how much you hated the self paced classes in cyber? This sounds just like that but worse! And I would say why yes, anon, I did! Such a good memory!! Gold star for you ⭐

This schooling didn't go great, as you could imagine... I think I finished two classes? This didn't have any time limit, however. So why on earth would I feel any pressure to do anything? Overall it was a giant waste of money. I just kept not doing it! Then life got super crazy, I won't go into detail but it was a rollercoaster of family drama, my mental health being at the worst it ever was, and leaving that religion. And then covid!!!! Everything happens so much 😞

I was so far from my diploma that I gave up on finishing my classes and started focusing on getting my GED. This took me another 2 years lol. I finally got it last summer!! I also landed a new job in the spring after being unemployed for a little over a year. And I just got my driver's license last week! It's taken me a longgggg time but my life is on the roll again. This is probably more than you were asking about but yeah.

[wandaluvstacos]

Chapter 28 of Good Investment is now up on my Patreon!

Good Investment is available at the $5/month tier. People who pledge $5 a month have access to not only Good Investment but The Sponsors series (ongoing), Pretty Things (complete), May the Blood Run Pure (complete), and Kept Man (complete), along with the $1/month tier books, the Reflections trilogy (ongoing) and The Halfwife (ongoing).

Adri Schvaneveldt has always felt split between two worlds. In one world, they are the adopted child of a large and conservative Mormon family. In another, she is the CEO of a burgeoning fashion empire that pushes boundaries. But in order to be the latter, Adri first has to find the funding. After gaining a hefty following as a social media influencer/model, Adri has the potential customers– if they can get a reliable production model pounded out. And that means a bit of groveling at the feet of investors, most of who have never even heard the term “non-binary”.

But Adri lucks out with Gideon Snow, whose youth and open mind bring much needed funds to make Adri’s dream of diverse, accessible fashion a reality. Of course, lifting a newborn company to its feet is no small task, and late nights drive Adri to occasional stays at Gideon’s nearby house, where their relationship begins stretching beyond business. Adri knows they can’t put an entire business venture at risk for the turbulent whims of their heart. But reason doesn’t always win out.

Excerpt:

“Ah, here it is.” Gideon turned the laptop so Adri could see the screen. On it was a photo of him and Tiffany at a train station in Copenhagen, with Gideon in his newly-acquired bomber jacket.

“This is you?” Adri asked, leaning in closer to see the picture. “You’ve got long hair and a beard!”

“My Jesus days, yeah.”

Adri giggled, finding immense pleasure in this. “You look very punk rock. What happened to that?” They gave Gideon a pointed once-over.

“Ah. Well, you see, there is an age at which every white man takes a good hard look at a cardigan sweater and thinks—I will look good in that.”

Adri snorted, then started laughing, resting one hand on his arm as they used the other to half-cover their mouth. They were so fucking cute. The only reason Gideon told half of his stupid jokes was to make pretty girls laugh. He was glad he hadn’t yet aged out of it.

“You do look good in cardigan sweaters though,” Adri chuckled.

“That’s your Mormon damage talking.”

Adri laughed again, snorting a little.

“Anyway, this was how I dressed back then. And that’s the jacket.”

“I can see why you liked it. You look very dashing.”

“Thank you.”

“And that’s Tiffany?” Adri asked, pointing to the similarly bearded person standing beside Gideon, though she’d shaved her head down to a buzzcut at the time.

“Yeah.”

“How’d you two meet?”

“I used to hang out at this coffee shop that a lot of Americans would go to. She was a year older than me and in a study-abroad program, so we met there. We had a lot in common, beyond just a shared interest in computers. She’d grown up in rural Idaho with prepper parents. They were big conspiracy nuts and they homeschooled her up until high school, so she was sheltered and sort of an outcast like me. She dropped out of college and decided to stay in the Netherlands with me, so we went to the university there together.” As he spoke, Adri flipped through the files in the folder, most of which showed Gideon’s travels at the time. Tiffany was in some of them, but so were a lot of other friends that Gideon had fallen out of touch with. In one, Gideon straddled a bike with a pretty brunette riding sidesaddle on the back, her purse cradled in her lap.

“Who’s that?” Adri asked with a lifted eyebrow.

“Ah. Chloé. My girlfriend at the time. She was French. She barely spoke any English, and I barely spoke any French. But it’s fine, cuz we honestly didn’t do much talking.”

Adri snorted. “Ah. I see.”

“It’s a good thing, too, because I think the only reason she liked me is because she didn’t have a fucking clue what I was saying.” It had been a long time since Gideon had thought about her. She was fun and he’d enjoyed their time together, but he’d hardly known anything about her except how to finger her to orgasm in the bathroom of a train to Turin, Italy. Valuable knowledge, sure, but he couldn’t even recall her last name.

“Sounds like you were quite the Casanova.”

“I was a goofball American kid up to do anything with anyone. You find people to hang out with pretty easily.”

“It sounds amazing. I’m a little jealous. While you were off traversing Europe at nineteen, I was stuck trying to talk to strangers in the DC area about Joseph Smith.”

[performing-personhood]

Sigh

Okay. So, I've got this catch-22 problem when it comes to getting my emotional needs met. And I am having a hell of a time finding anyone else talking about this, so I guess I gotta.

Context and the issue behind the cut. CW: childhood emotional neglect, and adult emotional self-neglect, difficulty with emotional openness

I'm a survivor of emotional neglect from emotionally-immature parents who themselves had unchecked untreated childhood trauma. I'm also a survivor of longterm adolescent emotional abuse from a peer romantic partner. Also also, I was homeschooled for nonreligious political reasons, so I literally had no external support system. Nor healthy relationships or friends at all until I was 15. It's a complex situation whose morphology does not slot neatly into the standard predefined trauma categories.

Basically the TL;DR is that I spent my entire adolescence surrounded by people who never once made an effort to check in with me, assuming that if I was quiet I was fine and that because I was listening I was available to perform emotional labor. People who, probably, assumed I would come to them if I needed something, despite having no evidence of that being a thing I am capable of doing.

As a result I'm a people-pleasing compulsive listener, so I naturally attract people with a desperate innate need for an audience.

The problem with attracting these otherwise-lovely humans is that these people also believe that I will come to them if anything is upsetting me and otherwise if I'm quiet I am most likely fine so there's no reason to check in with me.

In the same way they believe I will come to them with a problem or need, I believe that if they have an interest in how I am doing they will come ask me about it. They're very open about everything else, you see, so I figure there's no subtext at play and they'll come to me when they want to know something. They do it for everything else, why should this be different.

And therein lies the rub.

I was raised to understand that my needs were not as important as other peoples' needs, and that most people would come ask me if they wanted to know how I am doing but otherwise don't really care one way or another. Nobody has ever made much of an effort to disabuse me of this notion. Because it's awfully convenient for them, I think, to have a person around who has no apparent needs or preferences. Which I did by design to make myself acceptable, but as a result, I am now a completely invisible adult.

Here's where the catch-22 problem happens.

The pattern goes like this:

I suffer in silence because I believe my needs are unimportant to others.

My galloping-and-unreigned RSD repels me from asking for my needs to be met because I believe that will be an inconvenience and a bother, and I will be rejected.

I do not display outward signs of distress in order to not inconvenience others, and to protect myself from any potential rejection.

Nobody thinks to check in because I'm not making any outward signs of being in distress.

Wanting someone to check in with me becomes yet another thing I have to ask for.

I'm uncomfortable asking for things because of my belief that my needs are unimportant, that others are too busy for me, and that I'll be rejected even if I do manage to ask because if they do want to know how I am then they will approach me and ask.

I can't explain this problem to anyone, so they might think to ask more often in the future, because it might hurt their feelings to know they've hurt my feelings and I am legitimately petrified of making someone perform nonconsensual emotional labor (lest I become the monsters who made me this way)

Nonetheless, nobody is expressing curiosity about my wellbeing and thus my belief that my needs are unimportant to others is reinforced.

Do you see the problem here.