#as her debut song suggests
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just-miru · 2 years ago
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ok so, about the silly rock opera from earlier-
speaking of the music, i can't say i am a big fan of what it has going on. it's got this electric sorta vibe?? not really my cup of tea when it comes to silly music, but i can't say hate it.
as for the story so far? i think it's going the way i first thought it would go - "love is the only cure" hngngnhn
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apparently tumblr has a tag limit?? it's the first time i reach it adgahahsjjakakja
anyway, these silly thoughts below were supposed to be my last silly tags, and since i can't... put them in the tags anymore, i ma just put them here, i guess-
my silly impression of it so far is kinda meh tbh, but i am curious to see if i will change my mind by the end of the story
('welcome to anhedonia' still slaps tho-)
#for context#people in anhedonia are prohibited emotions#they are not allowed to feel things‚ hence their hearts are locked in cages#people get sent to this 'emotional correction facility' for showing even the slightest sign of emotion‚ while sometimes they're are#sentenced to death#also-#a silly thing i can't get over is that (so far) they've only mentioned positive emotions (like happiness and love)#but no one of the negative ones (such as anger or sadness)#or at least i think so??#there's this part in 'no one wept' where the narator says some stuff‚ but i can barely make any of that-#and it's not like i have silly lyrics to check hngngnhng#anyway‚ back on the 'love is the only cure' part#i wouldn't mind it as much if‚ at least‚ it was referring to love in general‚ not just the romantic type‚ ya know?#and here's even more context-#there's this dude‚ Woolf‚ who 'lived his life by logic'#'he saw the world through formulas and equations' or something along those lines? anyway#and then there's this gal‚ Madeleine‚ who wishes to find a 'friend with whom she can share all her darkest secrets' and stuff#as her debut song suggests#she wants to be 'somebody's somebody'#while wolf is searching yet again for the missing piece for a machine he's been working on#(a sound machine he called 'the symphonyoum' <- no idea how to spell it adafhhad)#he sees Madeleine and falls in love with her at first sight#and then he has this 'the colour of love' moment which i guess helps him find what he needed for his machine#which got me kinda ??? but anyway#since he can't find his words (same man)#he decides to let Madeleine know how he feels by using his machine to express his emotions through sound alone#and it works!#(forgot to mention that the missing piece he was looking for was actually the feeling of love and all that jazz)#and then they have this small moment where they talk about how they can save the others with love and stuff#and this is when i decided to take a small break‚ because my silly brain got tired of all the electricity the music radiates-
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norrizzandpia · 8 months ago
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So American (OB38)
Summary: To the song So American by Olivia Rodrigo. In which a Brit and an American fall so deeply in love with each other.
Warnings: suggestive scenes, language, so much fluff omg, reader is from America (specifically California), reader wants to be a writer and loves Jane Austen, reader loves London, idk if you can tell yet but this is HEAVILY indulgent, reader goes to University of San Francisco (that part is not self indulgent lol)
Note: I couldn’t help myself ive had this idea for too long, my debut Ollie Bearman fic! I hope you like it because i do 🤭
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Eighteen and baby-faced, Y/n thought her trip to London with her best friends would be fun and outrageous. She expected when they touched down in Heathrow that the trip would bring countless amounts of unique memories. It was part of their celebration of completion in their first year in college, a week-long trip to one of their favorite places to welcome the desperately needed summer.
None of them expected for Y/n to slam into a tall body when they were running to a musical before the doors closed and none of them expected that tall body to be that of another eighteen year old who found the short, American girl too cute to tear his eyes away from.
Ollie hadn’t been expecting much when he decided to take a day trip into London, wanting to spend the day wandering around one of his favorite cities. Though, when his eyes graced him the vision of y/h/c hair and a flushed girl frazzled in front of him, he knew it would be one to remember.
She was short, almost too short as his neck craned down to meet her eyes and the two murmured out apologies as he knelt down to pick up her bag that had dropped when they both rounded the same corner too fast.
Her ID slipped out, California’s name in bold letters right at the top and made Ollie laugh.
”American?” He smiled as Y/n’s friends glanced at each other from the side.
Y/n grinned, “Yep, American.”
Part of him knew getting into business with someone who lived on another continent couldn’t be smart, but he couldn’t bear to think of not seeing her again. Her beauty struck him and there were no thoughts in his mind when he asked for her number when she mumbled something about having to leave.
Y/n’s wide eyes turned around to meet his once more, “My number?”
Ollie nodded, his hand in his pocket and clutching his phone, “Your number.”
Her friends behind her giggled before shoving her toward the British boy who they had no idea was not your average or normal eighteen year old. Y/n took his phone lightly and pressed the correct digits. When she returned it, her name staring back at him, he blushed, “Y/n. That’s cute.”
Her cheeks warmed just like his as her friends began tugging on her hand and yelling about making the showtime, “What’s your name?!” She yelled as they dragged her away.
He waved with a beam, “Ollie!”
Ollie. That’s cute.
That summer, Y/n never went back to California. The moment she began talking with Ollie and he began taking her out on dates before she was supposed to leave, she knew there would be no way she could leave him. She canceled her flight back after Ollie had begged her to stay, and told her friends they needed to go back without her, that there was something more she needed to explore in London.
The girls had anticipated it, honestly. When they had seen the dazed grin on their friend’s face every time she came back from seeing the boy, they knew there was not enough willpower to hold her back from changing plans.
She would come back for the next school year, but it was clear if things went well, which they seemed they would be, she would stay for the summer.
And that she did.
Ollie forced her around all of England, showing her his favorite nooks and crannies of the country he grew up in. They would spend hours in his car as he drove her around, to the end of the country and back, just so she could experience his favorite view too. Their moments spent together forced the two to get to know each other wholly. Y/n found out about his racing career, gaped at him when he mentioned his Formula 1 race, and Ollie found out about her mundane life as a student at University of San Francisco. Honestly, he loved how regular she was. He craved her stories of college parties and nights spent up until three AM trying to turn in a paper. He loved her life stories. She loved his. They made for a good duo.
When the end of the two months drew near, tears were shed and words of distance were stressed. As they stood at the entrance to Heathrow, Ollie held Y/n in his arms and promised to find another time for her to come visit him, or one where he would come visit her. He was insistent and while they wouldn’t say it then, they were already in love.
That proved true a few months later, after calls and texts back and forth, when Y/n turned up at Heathrow once more. She was on Christmas break, one that granted her time to see her boyfriend, and while her family had been supportive of her skipping the holiday to go see someone that clearly made her so happy, she still felt a bit guilty to cancel. Though, that feeling diminished when she descended down the escalator and found Ollie holding a large sign with her name on it in pinks and greens, a large smile on his face as she yelped out and sprinted toward him.
“OLLIE!” Her bags dropped and she flew into his arms as he yelled her name back, the sign he had worked so hard on thrown to the floor the moment she got close.
He kissed her cheek and the two were looked upon adoringly by bystanders in the airport as he gently set her down on the ground, kissing her softly and whispering how much he had missed her.
When he led her out of the doors, all her belongings in his hands, they smiled brightly at each other as if to confirm how much they would make this month worth their while.
Drivin’ on the right-side road, he says I’m pretty wearin’ his clothes. And he's got hands that make hell seem cold. Feet on the dashboard, he’s like a poem I wish I wrote. I wish I wrote.
Ollie clutched Y/n’s thigh as he drove to their favorite spot, one he had shown her during the summer. Her head lulled to the side, staring at him lightly and lovingly right when he glanced at her, his eyes roaming over her body.
Her eyebrows pulled together, “What?”
He smirked, “You look pretty wearing my clothes.” His fingers traced up her stomach to tug on his sweatshirt that adorned her upper body. The way it draped largely over her made his heart warm and how she had the hood pulled up over her messy hair made him want to pull the car over and kiss her silly.
She looked cozy. Cozy enough that his hand traveled under the material to rest around her waist. His warm hands made her feel more sleepy, the clock in the car reading a time too early, as she cuddled further into herself. Ollie noticed the yawn that drew from her and smiled to himself, his eyes averting back to the lonely road they were on.
“Can I put my feet on the dash?” She murmured, eyes closing and head tucking further into his sweatshirt.
Ollie patted her leg, “Sure, baby. I’ll wake you up when we’re there.”
He turned the music down enough for her to find sleep again and when her phone pinged beside him, he glanced down randomly. His head had snapped back up before he could genuinely realize the notification he had seen. When it dawned on him what he might’ve seen, his eyes drifted down once more and tapped the screen to see it again.
A notification from In-n-Out stayed put on her screen and he stifled a laugh before whispering, “Oh, she’s so American.”
And he laughs at all my jokes and he says I’m so American. Oh God, it’s just not fair of him to make me feel this much. I’ll go anywhere he goes and he says I’m so American. Oh God, I’m gonna marry him if he keeps this shit up. I might just be in lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-love.
Ollie howled from laughter as Y/n giggled, her joke going over better than she expected. She knew it was funny, but she didn’t think the red in his face from not breathing was necessary. Still, she admired the way he admired her and went along with his hysterics. When his breathing regulated and his hunched over position came back to a seated one on the cold bench in Hyde Park, her stares were finally noticed by him.
”What?” He asked, arm wrapping around her shoulder as he shoved a piece of croissant in his mouth. He offered the last piece to Y/n and she took it, murmuring before putting it in her mouth, “Nothing. You just think I’m funny.”
Ollie’s eyebrows rose and he blew out a breath, “I think you’re hilarious.”
”I wonder how much you’ll laugh with me when you’re wasted.” Y/n’s head cocked to the side as she lost herself to thoughts.
Ollie giggled, “Probably an annoying amount when I’m pissed.”
Y/n’s jaw dropped in horror, “Not when you’re pissed! Don’t pee yourself!”
The couple turned to each other in confusion, Ollie fully taken aback, “Who said anything about peeing themselves?!”
Y/n jabbed a finger into his chest, “You did!”
Ollie pushed her softly, his hand on her waist drawing her back to him, “No, I didn’t!”
Her head fell into his chest in a fit of laughter, “Yes! I was talking about getting drunk and then you just brought up pissing yourself!”
In a moment of realization, Ollie found himself howling with laughter again. His hands clutched her frozen ones in the midst of winter before he got out, “It means the same thing! Wasted and pissed! Drunk!”
Her mouth fell open as she began to understand. Then, she pulled a face, “Why would you British people say pissed? That’s weird.”
Ollie gasped with a smile, “Hey! Don’t be rude.”
She crossed her arms, “You’re the one that insinuated peeing yourself.”
Ollie groaned and scrambled from the seat, running away from her with loud laughter, “Get away from me, American!”
She got up, rushing after him, with strangers giving them questionable looks as they began running through the bushes and trees of Hyde Park,
As she followed after him, his smile getting caught in her mind, she realized she had never felt this way about anyone. Sure, she had had guys in the past, but none of them compared to Ollie. The time they spent together, whether over the phone or in the actual presence of the other, always left her with a fuzzy feeling. A fuzzy feeling she always wanted to feel. The idea of forever was premature, but she was beginning to believe she was in love with the boy running away from her and jokingly berating her for being American. If she was in love, why not entertain the idea of marriage in her daydreams?
When she reached him, falling into his arms roughly with continued giggles, he leaned in and kissed her softly. The look in Ollie’s eyes when he pulled back made her think he might just be in love with her too.
Maybe they could entertain the idea of marriage in their daydreams together.
God, I’m so boring and I’m so rude. Can’t have a conversation if it’s not all about you; the way you dress and the books you read. I really love my bed, but, man, it's hard to sleep when he’s with me, when he’s with me.
Y/n brushed her teeth in the white of Ollie’s bathroom, his parents having generously let her stay in their home during her stay for Christmas. Her best friend, Charlotte, stared back at her from the phone. Their FaceTime had just started and Y/n hadn’t waited to say any greetings before jumping into rambling about Ollie.
”Charlotte, I’m so obsessed with him. I think it’s unhealthy.” She laughed, Charlotte laughing with her. Ollie eavesdropped on the other side of the door. “He’s so sweet and attentive. He remembers all the little things and even suggests things he thinks I’ll love. Which I always do. The other day, we were walking around Sussex and he saw this small book in a window and forced me into the shop. Turns out he had found a Jane Austen Pride and Prejudice First Edition. He told me he remembered how much I loved that movie and that storyline. He even referenced exact sentences that I had said in the midst of my rant about how much I love Jane Austen books. I looked at the price tag, holy shit, Char, it was so expensive. I made him leave the store immediately because the look on his face told me he needed no convincing in buying it for me. I thought I was in the clear, but apparently he’s friends with the owner of that store, so he went in early the morning after, while I was still asleep, and bought it for me. He surprised me with it along with breakfast in bed. I almost cried, Char. He’s even started reading it with me because he knows how much I love it.”
Charlotte’s eyes twinkled at the look on her friend’s face. Charlotte loved Ollie for the way he treated Y/n. “That is fucking insane. This man is in love with you, Y/n.”
Ollie’s heart exploded in his chest from the other side of the door. He had been caught.
Y/n’s whispering was loud enough for him to hear, “I think I’m in love with him too. I can’t get over his smile and his favorite pair of shoes that he most definitely needs to repurchase. I love his humor and how much he wants to make me happy. I love how he makes me feel so wanted and important. I love everything about him from his ratty Ferrari sweatshirt to the moles on his cheek.”
Ollie almost started giggling, jumping up and down like a schoolgirl, at her confession. He was ecstatic. This feeling was better than when he scored points in his first Formula 1 race. Yet, he didn’t want to let her know he knew yet. He wanted to plan something, something big that would show how serious he was about her.
The two friends hung up the phone after Y/n realized what time it was and rattled off to Charlotte about Ollie waiting for her in bed. Charlotte tried not to point out the suggestive nature of her statement, but she failed. “Use protection!” She yelped just as the phone hung up. Y/n stood in the threshold to Ollie’s bedroom, him staring back at her as the two took in Charlotte’s warning.
Ollie flopped down into the sheets, Y/n falling right into his arms. He kissed her neck and whispered, “She doesn’t need to worry. We will.”
They wouldn’t end up falling asleep until far into the night.
I apologize if it’s a little too much, just a little too soon, but if the conversation ever were to come up I don’t want to assume this stuff. But, ain’t it love? I think I’m in love.
Ollie couldn’t wait to tell her. Let her know that he felt the same way. And Y/n couldn’t wait to tell him about her most favorite idea, one she had come up in the wake of telling her best friend how much she loved her boyfriend. Neither of them knew the other had something so serious to discuss as they drove down the quiet street. Ollie had shoved her in the car, telling her he was taking her to a picnic under the stars. He threw his coat over her, taking his other for himself, and drove the few minutes before arriving at the open grass area near his house. He helped her out of the car, leading her to the trunk to get the box of food his mother had helped him make in preparation for this, and found a perfect spot with the clearest view of the sky.
The cold, winter air made them curl into each other, creating the perfect amount of warmth to stay. Y/n didn’t know how to breach her topic as they popped spoonfuls of soup into their mouths. Ollie beat her to it.
“Can I tell you something?” He whispered, finding her soft eyes.
She nodded, “Of course, baby.”
He sighed, putting his soup off to the side and trying to rid his body of unnecessary nerves. He knew she felt the same. Still, his hands shook slightly, not from the cold, “You have completely wrecked my life. You were so unexpected and not something I was ever anticipating, but I am so happy you fell into my life, Y/n. I will always look back on that moment at that random corner in London with so much love because…” He took a deep breath, “I love you and that was the start of you and me.”
Y/n’s face beamed and she set her soup down, throwing herself into Ollie. He fell backward, the two falling into a heap of limbs on the blanket below them. She kissed his face all over with sloppy, lovesick kisses, “Ollie! I love you too!”
He would never get over how her voice sounded whenever she said his name. Sure, she had said it in annoyed manners before when he had ticked her off, but, even then, he loved the way her accent sounded around the syllables. Never did he think he would be putting American accents first before British ones on his list of most beloved accents. Though, he was beginning to find that her smiling face was getting him to do a lot of crazy things lately. Like, buying a book worth thousands of dollars and reading it along with her. Chilling.
She tapped the back of his palms before tugging lightly on his fingers, “I have something to run past you.”
He nodded, pulling her between his legs and stroking her back. She let her legs wrap around his waist as they continued to sit on the blanket, “You know how much I want to be a writer? The reason why I’m studying English and everything?”
Ollie continued nodding, tilting his head as to tell her he had no clue where this was going.
She cleared it up quickly, however, when she nervously rambled, “What if I transferred to a UK university?”
Ollie’s heart almost flew from his chest, “Like, move here?”
She gave a small smile, “Yeah. I mean, I’ve always wanted to move here and study here. I love it here. But, now,” She kissed his lips, “I have more of a reason to. Would that be something you’d be okay with?”
He scoffed, “Would that be something I’d be okay with?! Fuck, yeah! Oh my God, Y/n, please move here. Holy shit, move here.” He begged with the cheekiest grin on his face.
She laughed, “Okay, okay. I still have to be accepted, but I have good chances with my grades and everything.”
Ollie shook her body lightly, “No, you’ll be accepted. If I start a manifestation journal specifically for this, would you judge me?”
Y/n cackled, “No, go right ahead. Tap into that spiritual force, Bearman.”
He kissed her hard, happy it seemed to work out for them. God, he wanted it to work out for them so bad.
And he laughs at all my jokes and he says I’m so American. Oh God, it’s just not fair of him to make me feel this much. I’ll go anywhere he goes and he says I’m so American. Oh God, I’m gonna marry him if he keeps this shit up. I might just be in lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-love.
ONE YEAR LATER
Y/n walked down the street to her dorm, a quizzical look etched into her face as she rounded the corner and ran into a hard body. Her eyes found his familiar ones from her position below him and his smile welcomed her home after a long day.
Ollie laughed, “We have got to stop meeting like this.”
She tucked herself under his arm as they began walking, “You just need to stop walking so fast.”
He laughed at her comment before leaning down and kissing her cheek, “How was your day?”
She groaned, “So long. English in a UK university is much more in depth than I was expecting. It puts American colleges to shame. Plus, for lunch, the waiter screwed up my order.”
Ollie frowned, “Oh, no. What’d they mess up?”
Y/n gave him a sad smile, “I asked for chips with my sandwich and they gave me French fries.”
There was silence before Ollie shook his head with a soft smile, “Baby, French fries are chips here.”
She stopped dead in her tracks, “What do you mean?”
He playfully rolled his eyes, “No one says French fries here. If you want that, it’s chips.”
She stood in front of him in a stance that suggested this was an outrage. He chuckled at her, “Then, what do I say if I want chips?!”
He pushed her hair away from her face lovingly, “Crisps, love.”
She huffed and turned away, walking down the sidewalk before he quickly caught up with her. She grumbled from under his arm, “You need to teach me these crazy discrepancies.”
Ollie nodded and kissed her hair, “It’s not my fault you’re so American, but sure, I will. We can start now.”
Apparently, that sufficed for her as she let out an agreeing noise, “Yeah, so where are we going for this date.”
He put his finger to his lips and shushed her, “No, it’s a surprise.”
Her mind loved the fact that he was so obsessed with planning their outings by himself. She loved how much he initiated everything. She had never felt so taken care of. She always envied the girls loved wholly by their boyfriends and now she had that for herself. There would be no day that would come that she took advantage of the boy she fell in love with two summers ago.
She shrugged, “You better be happy I trust you so much, I’d follow you into a dark cave without any questions.”
Ollie squeezed her, “I mean, I follow you anywhere you go, so if you’re not going into that cave, I’m not either.”
He pulled her down the stairs to the Tube as he slipped her backpack off her body and onto his. She kissed him in appreciation, “So, it’s settled. No dark caves.”
Ollie shook his head and led her to the place they needed to be. He held her hand tightly as they weaved through the crowds, his head flicking behind him to check on her frequently before just pushing her in front of him, his hands around her waist as he steered her.
When they got to their platform, he added his last thought to their conversation, “We need to get married first before wandering into dangerous caves.”
He said it so nonchalantly, it made her fall in love with him more. And when he met her eyes after he was met with silence, he found overwhelming joy within them.
He kissed her in the midst of the chaos underground, his hands cradling her face and hers loosely around his waist. They were a sight for sore eyes, but no one saw them in the midst of their special moment.
It was just for themselves and would be referred back to in the coming years as the moment where their forever really started.
Bloody hell, they were so in love.
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no-144444 · 14 days ago
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hi! i love your blog and i know this is kind of weird but just hear me out. do you remmeber the 'anything but f1' thing they did this year? what if oscar's topic was his girlfriends career and she was like a huge superstar on broadway and on the screen? and he like knew EVERYTHING and answered every question perfectly?
i hope you like this idea, if not, that's totally fine.
thank you ml xxx
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knowing me, knowing you- o.piastri
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a/n: thank you for requesting! sorry it took so long :)
summary: i suggest you look at the ask...
pairing: oscar piastri x reader
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Oscar was too warm and tired for this. He stood in front of a camera, smelling like hairspray and some sort of spray the makeup artist had put on his face, while he was asked all of the ‘Grill the Grid’ questions. 
“That’s it for ‘Grill the Grid’,” she explained. “But this year we have a new segment.”
“Oh yeah?” he questioned, his interest piqued. 
“Yeah, it’s called ‘Anything but F1’,” she smiled. “Your topic is Y/n Y/l/n’s career,” she chuckled. 
Oscar smiled. “This is going to be easy.”
“Will she kill you if you don’t get full marks?” she laughed. 
Oscar pondered. “Probably not?” 
“Alright then. Ready? Pressure is on.”
He nodded. 
“What was Y/l/n’s first role on Broadway?” 
“Matilda,” he nodded. Y/n Y/l/n, his girlfriend, you, also an EGOT winning actor, the youngest there’s ever been. 
“Correct! How old was Y/l/n when she made her Broadway debut?”
“Well, she was 8 in Matilda on the West End and did 2 years of that, so 10?” he answered. 
“Correct! How old was she when she played Sally Bowles, making her the youngest to have ever played her on a Broadway stage?” 
“She was 17.”
“Correct! How old was she when she got her first Tony?” 
“11 years old.”
“Correct!” she smiled. “What Disney princess did she play?” 
“Huh?” he questioned, not knowing that you’d voiced a disney princess. “She’s voiced a Disney princess?” 
She nodded. 
“In a Disney film?”
She nodded again. “Think about it.”
“Does she sing in it?”
“The princess does sing,” she explained. “But Y/l/n did also write a song for it.”
Oscar was stumped. “Can I come back to it?” 
“Sure,” she shrugged, moving on to the next one. “What was her first feature film?”
“Lés Mis,” he answered. “She played Cosette.”
“Correct! What happened at the 2013 oscars?”
Oscar chuckled. “I think Jennifer Lawrence fell over and took Y/n with her?”
“Correct! What is her most streamed song?”
“Does this include recordings she was a part of or just her solo career or the band too?”
“One of those is fine, but if you can give me an answer for all though, we’ll give you an extra point.”
“So,” he started explaining. “Y/n’s most streamed solo single is probably American Teenager, her most streamed band single is probably BABY SAID, and her most streamed cast recording was probably Wicked, or Hadestown.”
“Correct, and it is Wicked.”
As he explained his answers, his trainer and others in the room started to laugh. He knew everything about you. He was so down-bad it was almost embarrassing, but they understood it anyway. You’d been together since you were 14, you were 23 now. You get to know a lot about a person in 9 years, especially from teenage years to being a young adult. 
“What record did she break by winning an Oscar in 2018?” 
Oscar smirked and winked at the camera. “She’s the youngest person ever to gain an EGOT.”
“What school did she teach at in her early years?”
Oscar raised an eyebrow. “How old was she?”
“Ages 8-12, she taught here on and off, and not many people know about it since she didn’t go into that field of the arts.”
He groaned, trying desperately to think. “The Royal Ballet in London!” He exclaimed, finally remembering. 
“Correct! Next question, how many Tony awards does she have?”
“Oh shit they’re on the mantel at home…” he muttered to himself, trying to count them in his head. “5?”
“Correct. Who has more trophies?”
Oscar chuckled. “I have more trophies, but she has more awards.”
“Alright, how many Emmys does she have?”
“1, which she won this year for her role in the Bear.” 
“Correct, how many Broadway or West End shows has she been a part of? You get a bonus point for naming them all.”
“Oh alright, so Matilda, Annie, Into the Woods, Hamilton, Heathers, Spring Awakening, Mamma Mia!, Moulin Rouge!, Cabaret, Six, Parade, Hadestown, Chicago, Wicked, and right now she’s doing Lés Miserables for the first time on a stage,” he explained. “So that was… 15?”
“Just one more?” she hinted. 
Oscar’s face fell. “What? What else has she done?” he asked out loud. “I said Wicked?”
She nodded. 
“Did I say Mamma Mia!?” 
She nodded. 
“Did I say Phantom of the Opera?”
“No, you didn't! Congratulations, bonus point awarded. What has she said is her dream role?”
He took a deep breath. “It’s going to be really bad if I get this wrong, isn’t it? Alright, so, she has always wanted to play Ms. Honey in Matilda,” he watched as the interviewer shook her head. “Shit, alright. Any hints?”
“She said it would be the only way to get her back into a specific show,” she hinted. 
“Oh! Emcee!” he cheered. “God, how could I forget that?”
“Well done! Alright, one final question, what song did she sing at the 2023 grammy awards, where she debuted her first single after ‘LISTEN’, her band, went on hiatus?”
He smirked. He was there for that performance. He was sitting in the crowd as you sang. He got to take you home and congratulate you. He got to be the proud boyfriend all night. He loved it. It was one of his most fond memories. “She sang ‘That’s So True’. I was there.”
“The infamous kiss picture,” she winked at him. He nodded, a smug smile on his face. “So, going back to the other question, what Disney princess did Y/l/n play?” 
“Oh shit yeah, it was animated, yeah?”  
“Not necessarily,” she hinted. 
“Ariel!” he exclaimed. “Ariel, of course!”
She chuckled. “Congratulations, you know the most about Y/n Y/l/n’s career out of anyone I’ve ever met.”
“One would hope,” he chuckled.
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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
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project-sekai-facts · 2 months ago
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What's the deal with SEKAI?
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Due to popular demand, here is a post compiling everything that we know about SEKAI lore, accurate as of At the Beginning of SEKAI With You. Happy 4th anniversary!
First off, what is a SEKAI? As stated multiple times in the game, SEKAI are worlds inhabited by Virtual Singers that are created by particularly strong feelings. These feelings can be those of a singular person (e.g: Tsukasa or Mafuyu), or ones shared by many (like the other three units). The only thing that determines whether or not a SEKAI is created is how powerful those feelings are. Additionally, even if they didn't create the SEKAI, other people with similar feelings can in special instances access and influence the SEKAI (refer to WonderlandsxShowtime or 25-ji, Nightcord de.).
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SEKAI can be accessed through an untitled audio file that will appear on the owner's or accessor's computer or phone. Once the person has discovered their true feelings that the SEKAI is linked to, the untitled file will become a song. More songs can be created by the SEKAI as new feelings are uncovered, as demonstrated in event After Lives. The main stories also show that the singers will know the lyrics to the song even if they have never heard it before nor know what the lyrics should be before singing.
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Despite what some believe that the SEKAI are inside the phone/computer of the accessor, it is shown on multiple instances that the characters retain their phones inside the SEKAI and can still use them, suggesting teleportation. We can also take Rui's observations from the main story into account here, that the SEKAI is a physical location rather than a virtual world. It's all but confirmed that SEKAI exist on a separate dimensional plane. That said, the phone/computer is the key to remaining in the SEKAI. Should the device run out of power, the connection to the SEKAI is severed and the person will be returned to Earth. The other way to exit SEKAI is to manually pause the Untitled song.
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(TL by Puroeng on YT)
At the Beginning of SEKAI With You goes in depth on how SEKAI are formed and how they develop. SEKAI are initially formed as a Fragment of Feelings when a person or group of people exhibit a strong, unyielding desire. School SEKAI was formed when Leo/need saw the meteor shower as children and wished to stay together forever (roughly 6-7 years ago), Wonderland SEKAI formed when Tsukasa was a kid and wanted to make Saki smile (roughly 10 years ago), and Empty SEKAI was formed when Mafuyu started to lose sight of herself and wanted to find her true self again (roughly 3 years ago).
Stage and Street SEKAI aren't entirely clear. Stage SEKAI's Fragment was shown to form when Haruka, Airi, and Shizuku initially debuted as idols. However, all of them debuted at wildly different points in time. Haruka debuted earliest, so we can assume the Fragment formed then (an unknown amount of time ago). Street SEKAI's Fragment is actually never shown forming, so the trigger is unknown. All we know is that it formed during or just after RAD WEEKEND, 3 years ago.
SEKAI grow and change over time. This was first mentioned in Miku's Vivid BAD SQUAD 2* story and was since repeatedly mentioned in Colorful Festival card stories. When a SEKAI is in it's Fragment stage, it sometimes may be able to hold a physical form for a short amount of time. This physical form can be accessed through a glowing orb of light (as shown in the gacha animation) and has to be accessed inside of a fully formed SEKAI. Some Fragments are only temporary and will never become a full SEKAI, something that is alluded to in a few ColoFes stories as well.
If the feelings that formed the Fragment continue to stay incredibly strong, they can manifest into a fully-fledged SEKAI. Again, At the Beginning of SEKAI With You goes into more depth about this. For School SEKAI, it formed when the girls were separated from each other in middle school (~2-4 years ago), Stage SEKAI formed when Minori was attending one of her auditions, which was around the same time as when Haruka, Airi, and Shizuku began to feel dissatisfied with their careers (roughly just over 1 year ago), and Empty SEKAI formed around the time of the Someday, From the Depths of Despair event.
Wonderland SEKAI notably became fully formed incredibly quickly, when Tsuaksa was still a child (hence the presentation of the SEKAI and the fact that he doesn't even remember the feelings that created it when he first discovers it). It is unknown when Street SEKAI fully formed, but it seems to have been almost instantaneous, with the newly formed SEKAI being shown in scenes set not too long after RW. The vagueness could mean that it's possible that this will be elaborated on later.
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(TL by Puroeng on YT)
It's not quite clear as to whether you can always access a SEKAI as soon as it has a physical form. In the main stories, the characters first discover Untitled on their phones when it flashes in response to them experiencing the feelings that led to the SEKAI's creation (e.g: Ichika wanting to mend her friendship with her childhood friends). The characters have no prior knowledge of Untitled being on their phones or computers at this point. Beginning of SEKAI somewhat contradicts this, by having Miku and KAITO constantly trying to reach out to Tsukasa and have him find untitled throughout the past 10 years. However, you could possibly say that the file wasn't there until he was 17 to justify why he didn't find SEKAI and respond to Miku and KAITO earlier.
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SEKAI also continue to grow even after they obtain a permanent physical form, something which was first hinted at in Miku's Vivid BAD SQUAD 2* story, and later became the focus of the World Link events. As the feelings that created them continue to grow and change, the SEKAI continues to grow with them. It should also be noted that SEKAI, according to Miku's Protective Gaze 3* story, will never disappear, even if the creator were to forget about it.
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The final thing to cover here is the Tree of Feelings SEKAI. Last year I wrote a post speculating on some of the lore surrounding this SEKAI, most of which was confirmed to be correct as of Beginning of SEKAI. That post covers this final part in mroe detail, so read that if you're interested. The Tree of Feelings SEKAI is a mysterious Fragment SEKAI that so far has appeared in Miku's Where Feelings Come Together 4* story, and the events Sakura Across SEKAI, Interconnecting Our Feelings and Let Your Song Resonate Throughout SEKAI. The Fragment briefly obtains a physical form whenever the inhabitants (human or Virtual Singer) of all 5 main SEKAI are experiencing a shared feeling.
As mentioned by MEIKO in Sakura Across SEKAI, the Tree SEKAI appears to be some sort of Nexus between the 5 we follow in the story. This is later confirmed to be the case in Beginning of SEKAI, with the same tree appearing in all 5 SEKAI, occasionally transmitting music from the other SEKAI it is connected to. Stage SEKAI MEIKO also mentions in the Sakura Across SEKAI story that this has never happened before.
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While animated by an outsider source, so not entirely reliable, the NEO MV suggests that the Tree SEKAI is beginning to take on a permanent physical form with its own Untitled song. The Untitled song in this case is, of course, NEO.
Part two: What are the Virtual Singers? The Virtual Singers in each SEKAI are stated in chapter 10 of the WonderlandsxShowtime main story to have physical bodies. While we don't really know anything about their biological make up, they're at the very least, humanoid and sentient instead of being holograms, though they can present themselves on Earth in that form through any device that can display holograms (or on computer screens as seen in a few 25-ji, Nightcord de. stories and cards). While implied in Miku's Protective Gaze 3*, it is confirmed by Beginning of SEKAI that the Virtual Singers are immortal and don't physically age.
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Versions of the Crypton VOCALOID characters that resemble their real-life character designs exist "between the SEKAI", which appears in-game to be some sort of white space, however the I'm Mine another cuts may be set in this location. While very early stories don't make it entirely clear, it is officially confirmed as of Sakura Across SEKAI that the Virtual Singers in each SEKAI are completely individual entities, rather than the primary Virtual Singers travelling between SEKAI and changing their form.
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The versions of the Virtual Singers in each SEKAI are aware that they are derivatives of their primary form (mentioned in both Virtual Singer events). The derivatives are influenced by the owner(s) of the SEKAI, taking certain aspects of their psyche and abilities. It should also be noted that not all SEKAI start with all six of the Virtual Singers. This is heavily implied to be the case with Street SEKAI and Stage SEKAI, but it not the case with the School, Wonderland, or Empty SEKAI. School SEKAI started with just Miku and Luka, with the other 4 arriving during event stories. Wonderland SEKAI started with Miku and KAITO, though the Kagamines arrived immediately following the main story, shortly followed by MEIKO and Luka. Empty SEKAI started with only Miku, with the other 5 vsingers appearing in response to changes in Mafuyu and the others' mental states.
It is explicitly stated in Len's Vivid BAD SQUAD 2* card story that the Virtual Singers possess supernatural or magical abilities, and are actually incredibly similar to humans, although they have the innate ability to help people discover their true feelings. Despite this claim, Wonderland SEKAI MEIKO is shown to have superhuman strength, Wonderland SEKAI Luka's sleep schedule is controlled by Tsukasa and the others' emotions, and Wonderland SEKAI Miku is ambiguously a cat-humaoid hybrid. Not to mention the sentient plushies, and singing flowers and actual Phoenix. However, these can be somewhat justified given that the Wonderland SEKAI was largely influenced by the imagination of a 7-year-old child. It was also Street SEKAI Len that made this claim, and that is by far the most grounded in reality of all 5 SEKAI.
Now the final part, building off what Len said about SEKAI not being magical or supernatural. The only justifiable explanation is that they are alternate dimensions, as I mentioned briefly earlier on, where these sorts of inexplicable "magical" things are natural occurences.
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So what are some of the physical capabilities of the SEKAI? Let's start with one that applies to all five, the innate abilities to create clothes out of thin air. The unit outfits for Leo/need, MORE MORE JUMP!, and 25-ji, Nightcord de. were all created by the SEKAI, which is mentioned in Honami's Unchanging Flavor 3* card story. The same card story also confirms that these costumes cannot be taken out of the SEKAI. Both Journey to Bloom -HOPE- and a 3rd Colorful Live 4koma illustrate how the costumes form. The 4koma shows it to be instantaneous, much like it is shown in vlives, so it's likely that Journey to Bloom animates the effect to be more visually appealing.
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A notable new one is the ability to physically alter a person's appearance. This seems exclusive to the new Fragment SEKAI seen in Kanade and Rui's Bloom Festival 4* card stories, but given that they're technically still SEKAI, this may apply to regular SEKAI as well. In the aforementioned card stories, Kanade and Rui both turn into their younger selves temporarily. Also shown in those two stories and in Airi's To You Who Wants to be An Idol 4* story, the SEKAI (or Fragement SEKAI specifically again) have the ability to temporarily manifest a person's younger self, or separate versions of their present day self. It's shown that this is not a vision but a physical form, although they are clearly presented to have a separate consciousness to the true version of the person. The same can be inferred for the woman who appears in Haruka's Someday, I'll Deliver 4* card story, and Nagi's appearance in BREAK DOWN THE WALL.
A few SEKAI also deviate from Earth's rules of physics, notably, School SEKAI and Wonderland SEKAI. Wonderland SEKAI is incredibly obvious in its deviations, but School SEKAI recently acquired a flying train.
SEKAI also seems to prevent its inhabitants from dying or getting hurt. While falling from the flying train is treated as a danger in the Wonderland SEKAI Virtual Singer main story, Tsukasa falls from a height in Aye-Aye, Let's Aim for the Star that should have killed him, even with safety mats laid out. Wonderland SEKAI KAITO may or may not have been stabbed in the past too, though he is immortal anyway.
SEKAI can also give people amnesia, as shown in Akito's Wanderer's Thirst 4* card story. Additionally, whenever the unit representatives are summonned to sing together in Virtual Lives, or when they visit the Tree of Feelings SEKAI, their memories are wiped afterwards. However, unlike Akito's case, it's Miku herself who erases the unit reps' memories.
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Lastly, the audiences in Virtual Lives. Obviously, no one inhabits the SEKAI other than the owner(s) and the Virtual Singers, so who makes up the audience. As explained in the First Star After the Rain After Live, these are Sparks of Feelings. Small sparkling lights (suggested in multiple Virtual Lives to be the small triangles seen floating around in the SEKAI) that respond to the songs heard in SEKAI. These are stated to be the feelings of other people (the player character) that resonate with the music and feelings of the performers.
And thus concludes this recap of all the SEKAI lore we know so far. Hope you enjoyed!
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cieldecerise · 29 days ago
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desert rose - yang jungwon
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pairing - idol!jungwon x fem idol!reader
genre - suggestive/nsfw, idol au, secret relationship, forbidden (?) relationship
warnings - mdni! lots of (unspoken) tension, lots of kisses and making out, grinding, implied sex towards the end (not explicitly mentioned), mentions of petnames (baby, angel), hair pulling (not proofread, lmk if i missed any <3)
sypnosis - After a glamorous event, Y/N can’t take her eyes off Jungwon’s new blonde hair. Their secret relationship has been hidden for months, but the tension is undeniable. Back at the hotel, a simple favor—unzipping her dress—sparks a passionate moment that leads Jungwon to her room, where stolen kisses and whispered confessions blur the line between secrecy and desire.
wc - 2.8k
song inspo - lolo zouaï - desert rose
a/n - hi angel, it's cerise! as most engene's might've seen, jungwon is blonde right now and showcased it at an event. he left me completely speechless and drooling, so why not write about it? i must say i've never attempted writing something suggestive, but we've got to start somewhere right? i'll also admit that i wrote this in a rush, i hope you don't mind. either way, enjoy your stay and have fun reading my first post, sweetheart <3
i know i kept mentioning that jungwon's hair is blonde here, but i got impatient since there aren't any pictures of him that have been posted (at the moment), so pretend he's a blonde in the banner for me, will you darling? | bookshelf | paradise
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At a recent glamorous event, various idol groups were mingling under the soft glow of chandeliers, everyone dressed to impress. You stood off to the side, sipping on a glass of champagne, but your focus wasn't entirely on the event. It was locked onto Jungwon, who had just debuted his new blonde hair for the first time in public.
Jungwon, looking effortlessly handsome in his sleek suit, had been feeling the weight of your gaze all night. Every time he tried to focus on something else, he'd feel your eyes on him. He dared a glance your way, only to catch you biting your lip slightly, smirking while your eyes roamed over him. His face flushed instantly, the blonde only amplifying his reaction as his cheeks turned a soft pink.
Your smile widened when your eyes met again, this time holding his gaze just a little too long, your expression a mix of admiration and teasing. You didn’t even try to hide it anymore, openly checking him out with a playful glint in your eyes. Every subtle shift in your posture screamed confidence, as if you knew exactly the effect you were having on him.
Jungwon quickly looked away, flustered. He fidgeted with his drink, trying to compose himself but failing miserably. The heat crept up his neck as he replayed your reactions in his head—the way you’d sip your champagne, a slow smile forming as your eyes trailed down from his hair to his suit, admiring every detail.
You finally made her way over to him, standing just close enough for him to notice your perfume, the air between you thick with tension. You tilted your head slightly, your voice low, almost teasing. "I like the blonde... suits you."
Jungwon swallowed hard, trying to think of a cool response but only managed a soft, "Thanks," avoiding your gaze as he tried not to combust under your attention.
You let out a soft chuckle, clearly enjoying his flustered state. You gave him one last look up and down before walking away, leaving Jungwon standing there, heart racing, as he tried to calm down after the electrifying encounter. He glanced back at your retreating figure, unable to stop himself from smiling despite his nerves.
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Later that night, back at the hotel, the event buzz had settled, but the air between you and Jungwon was still thick with unspoken tension. You had been teasing him all evening, and the way you looked tonight didn't make it any easier for him to forget. Your long, fitted dress hugged you in all the right places, and the high slit revealed just enough of your leg to keep his mind racing.
Jungwon tried to calm down on the ride home, but now that you were back, his thoughts kept wandering. He was still reeling from the way your eyes followed him all night, and now, watching you walk through the hotel’s hallway with effortless grace, it was hard to focus on anything else.
You disappeared into your room, and Jungwon let out a soft sigh of relief, only for that relief to be cut short when he heard your voice call out from the doorway.
"Jungwon, can you help me with something?"
He froze for a moment before walking over, trying to keep his composure, checking for any potential unwanted audience. When he stepped inside, you were standing in front of the mirror, your back to him, your hand resting on the small zipper of your dress. The room was dimly lit, the glow from a small lamp casting a soft light on you as you glanced at him in the reflection, an innocent look on your face, but he could sense the teasing beneath it.
"Can you help me unzip my dress?" you asked, her tone smooth, as if you hadn’t been driving him crazy all night.
Jungwon’s heart skipped a beat as he stepped closer. He swallowed hard, his fingers trembling slightly as they found the zipper. The cool metal contrasted with the warmth of your skin as he slowly tugged it down, revealing the smooth curve of your back.
His breath hitched, trying to keep his eyes focused on the task at hand. But the scent of your perfume mixed with the intimate moment made it impossible not to feel the electricity between you both.
When the zipper was down, you turned slightly, just enough to face him but still keeping close. "Thank you," you murmured softly, stepping up on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek.
But it wasn’t your usual kiss. You lingered there for a moment, lips brushing his skin, the warmth of your breath sending a shiver down his spine. Normally, you might have kissed him on the lips, teasing him, but tonight…this was different. It was softer, more deliberate.
Jungwon’s cheeks flushed, and his heart pounded in his chest. He wasn’t sure how to react—whether to step back, say something, or lean into the moment. Your hand brushed his arm, leaving a trail of warmth in its wake.
"You know," you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper, "you look really good as a blonde."
Jungwon chuckled nervously, unsure of what to say, still flustered from the kiss and the intimate proximity. "Th-thanks," he stammered, his voice betraying how affected he was.
You smiled at his response, eyes twinkling with amusement. "Goodnight, Jungwon," you whispered, before turning around, leaving him standing there in the low light, mind spinning from the moment you’d just shared.
Jungwon stood frozen for a second, hand still tingling from where he had touched your dress. He watched you disappear into your room, your words, your touch, and your presence lingering in the air long after you were gone.
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Jungwon lay in his bed, tossing and turning, his mind replaying the events of the evening over and over again. He couldn’t shake the feeling of your soft lips brushing against his cheek, the warmth of your body so close to his, or the way you’d looked at him all night. The room felt too quiet, too empty, and no matter how hard he tried, sleep wouldn’t come.
He stared at the ceiling, contemplating whether to just stay in bed or get up. His heart raced at the thought of going to your room, but something about the way you looked at him tonight made it impossible to ignore the pull. After what felt like hours of hesitation, he finally made up his mind.
“Fuck it.. I need her right now..”
Quietly, he slipped out of bed and padded down the hall to your room. His hand pulled out a key card and hovered it over the lock for a moment before he gently pushed the door open. The room was dimly lit by your bedside lamp, casting a warm glow over everything, and there you were, sitting up in bed, as if waiting for him.
You were wearing a desert rose coloured silk nightdress that shimmered softly in the light. Your hair was swept over one shoulder, leaving the other bare, exposing your delicate collarbone and the smooth line of your neck. You held a book in your lap, but you weren’t really reading it; the soft smile on your lips told him you had been expecting him.
Without even glancing up from your book, you spoke, your voice low and knowing. "Was about time you came, Wonnie. Was worried you wouldn’t show up."
Jungwon froze for a moment in the doorway, your words taking him by surprise. You knew. Of course, you knew. The smile on your face only deepened as you turned the page of your book, still not looking at him, as if you hadn’t just said something that set his heart racing all over again.
"I—" Jungwon started, but his words faltered. He was flustered, unsure of what to say or how to act. The sight of you, so effortlessly beautiful, sitting there in your nightdress, made it hard to focus on anything else.
You finally lifted your gaze from the book, your eyes meeting his with a look that sent a shiver down his spine. "You gonna stand there all night, baby?" you teased, your voice soft, but there was an undeniable playfulness in it.
Jungwon stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. His mouth felt dry, and his pulse quickened with each step closer. He didn’t know what he had been expecting, but your calmness, your confidence, only made it harder for him to find his footing.
You tilted your head slightly, watching him, the exposed skin of your shoulder catching his attention. "You look like you have something on your mind," you said softly, placing the book aside. "Come here, Wonnie."
He swallowed hard, slowly moving to sit at the edge of your bed, his hands nervously fidgeting in his lap. The tension between you was palpable, the air thick with anticipation. You shifted, turning slightly so you were facing him more directly. The silk of your dress clung to your body, shimmering in the soft light as you leaned closer, your fingers gently brushing against his arm.
"You couldn't sleep, could you?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. Your eyes searched his, and he could feel the warmth of your breath on his skin.
Jungwon shook his head, unable to find the right words. His heart raced faster now, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. You smiled again, a knowing, gentle smile that somehow made him feel both nervous and comforted at the same time.
"It’s okay," you murmured, your fingers tracing a soft line down his arm before resting on his hand. "You’re here now."
Your touch was light, yet it sent electricity through him. His breath hitched as your hand moved to cup his cheek, you thumb brushing lightly against his skin.
"You don’t have to say anything, Jungwon," you whispered, leaning in just a bit closer. Your lips were dangerously close to his now, and his heart pounded in his chest. "I already know."
Jungwon felt himself leaning in, caught in the gravity of your gaze. The warmth radiating from your body was intoxicating, and he found himself lost in the moment, the world outside your dimly lit room fading away. His heart raced as he closed the distance between you both, the soft scent of your hair enveloping him like a warm blanket.
“Y-Y/N…” he whispered, his voice barely audible as if saying your name any louder would shatter the delicate atmosphere.
You smiled, a slow and inviting smile that made his insides twist. “Just be here with me,” you urged softly, your eyes sparkling in the low light. “We don’t have to think about anything else, just you and me..”
With that, you leaned in closer, your forehead brushing against his, and Jungwon felt the warm breath of your lips against his. It was as if time had stopped, the only sound in the room being your breaths mingling together. His heart thundered in his chest, urging him to take the plunge.
But even in his eagerness, a flicker of hesitation lingered. “Fuck, are you sure, angel?” he asked, searching your eyes for any signs of doubt.
You didn’t hesitate. “I’ve never been more sure of anything, Won.” you replied, your voice low and sultry. The sincerity in your gaze was enough to erase the last of his doubts, and with a gentle tug at his shirt’s collar, you pulled him closer. 
The moment your lips finally met, it was electric. The kiss started soft, tentative, both of you savouring the sweetness of it. Jungwon could hardly believe how perfect it felt; the world around you completely vanished, leaving the two of you tangled together in this quiet intimacy. He felt your smile against his lips, the warmth of your body igniting something deep within him.
As you deepened the kiss, he could feel the pressure of your fingers tugging at his hair, your soft sighs encouraging him to explore further. His hands found their way to your waist, pulling you even closer as he lost himself in your warmth. 
“Fuck, that feels good, baby..” he groaned against your lips, feeling an urge to pull you even closer. With a gentle but firm tug, he guided you to straddle his lap, the feeling of your body on top of his grounding him. The shift in position deepened the kiss, igniting a spark that travelled from his lips to every part of his body.
The kiss was intoxicating, filled with everything unspoken between you. Jungwon’s fingers danced along your sides, tracing the curve of your waist, relishing the feel of the silk fabric against his skin. He felt you shiver slightly at his touch, the way your body reacted sending down his spine in response.
“You look so good like this,” you murmured against his lips, your voice barely above a whisper. Jungwon’s heart raced at your words, his cheeks flushing slightly at the compliment.
“Thanks,” he replied, his lips finding their way to your neck, and his breath hitching as you tugged on his hair again, pulling him even closer. The sensation caused the heat to rise to his chest, heightening the already electric atmosphere between you. “But I think you look even better.”
Your lips met again, this time with more urgency. As you continued to kiss, the way you melted into him made his heart swell; he wanted to remember this moment forever. He pulled you closer still, your bodies fitting together perfectly, as if you were always meant to be this way.
Jungwon’s hands travelled up your back, resting just beneath your shoulder blades, his fingers drawing small circles on your skin. “You have no fucking idea how long I’ve wanted this,” he breathed between kisses, his forehead resting against yours as he gazed into your eyes once again, searching for any sign of hesitation. Instead, he only found the same burning desire reflected back at him
You smiled softly, your heart racing at his admission. “I think I might have an idea,” you replied coyly, leaning in for another kiss. This one was deeper, more passionate, as you both lost yourselves in the moment.
The kiss deepened further, and Jungwon couldn’t resist the urge to roll his hips up into you slightly, the movement eliciting a soft gasp from you. He grinned against your lips, feeling emboldened by your response. “Feel that, baby? Guess I’m not the only one who’s been waiting,” he teased, his voice low and playful.
You bit your lip, a flush creeping onto your cheeks as you met his playful gaze. “Maybe I’ve been waiting for you to make a move on me tonight,” you confessed, the same playfulness adding to the sweetness of the moment.
“Then I guess it’s a good thing I carried a copy of your room’s key card then,” he replied, his voice steady but thick with emotion. Your lips met again, softer this time, but no less intense. The kiss lingered, each of you savouring the quiet, stolen moment. Jungwon’s hand slid down to your thighs, wrapping them tightly around his waist until there was no space left between you. You sighed softly against his lips, your fingers still tangled in his blonde hair, and he couldn’t help but smirk at how you clung to him.
“You ready for me, baby?” he mumbled, trailing his kisses down your neck, his lips burning against your skin, and you tilted your head back, giving him more room to explore. With one last lingering kiss, your eyes met—both unspoken and clear in their desires.
“Always.” you whispered, your voice laced with intoxicating need.
Without another word, he flipped you both around, laying you down as he hovered above you. You sank into the soft sheets together, your bodies entwined in the dim glow of your bedside lamp and the city lights. The air between you felt heavy with anticipation as you shared a final, gentle kiss on the lips. This time, there was no rush, no need for words. You both understood what was coming next, the quiet intimacy drawing you deeper into one another.
As your bodies pressed closer, the space between you seemed to disappear altogether. Every touch, every caress became a wordless promise, and the room was filled with nothing but the soft sounds of your shared breath and whispered names, the dim light casting shadows over your entwined figures. The night stretched on, wrapping you in its warmth, until nothing else mattered but this moment—just you two, together.
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© cieldecerise — do not plagiarize, repost, translate, copy, or alter any of my content. thank you darling.
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shina913 · 9 months ago
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Code Blue | KMG
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Code Blue
Pairing: PFWeek!Mingyu x Stylist!Fem Reader
Rating: M 🔞; NSFW
Genre: Idol au; hints of FWB; fluff; angst; smut
Warnings: porn with a hint of plot; cussing; fingering; clit play; breast play; oral (F-rcvng); penetrative, unprotected sex; creampie; soft aftercare
Word count: 3.8K words
Summary: Mingyu doesn't want any other stylist--he only wants you.
A/N: The story was prompted by this video clip and title is from The-Dream's song of the same title. I only meant for this to be something quick but the clown car stopped by my house--it was headed to Deluluville so I just got on, ofc. Nothing but horny word vomit featuring Dior/PFW Mingyu. Tiny bit of angst brought on by the song, and also because I'm me, and why the hell not? Enjoy!
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It’s fashion week and by some wild coincidence, many of your A-list celebrities are in town and they all have scheduled appearances at the big-ticket shows. Unfortunately, due to the location of a few shows and heavy traffic, you can't personally manage everyone's looks. So, you rely on your trusted assistants to cater to everyone's preferences, under your guidance, of course.
One of the clients you couldn't personally attend to was Mingyu. He called you, disappointed, when he saw your assistant, Monica, standing at his hotel room door with a clothing rack to present him with outfit options for tomorrow's show.
“Why did you send your minion here? I thought you were coming?” You hear the pout in his lowered voice.
“I'm at a fitting with another client at their hotel, and it's running late,” you whisper into the phone, then motion to an intern to approve your client's accessories. “Also, I'd appreciate it if you didn't call her that. She's my second-in-command, and I trust her judgment. I can't be everywhere at once, so some compromises had to be made.”
Mingyu’s debut appearance at a major fashion show was a big deal for him and his career. Since his appearance was announced, you prepared accordingly, discussing options based on the fashion house's lookbook. Having worked closely with Mingyu for over a year, you're well-versed in his style preferences. Before he left for Paris, you had shortlisted two outfit options, which is why you felt confident leaving Monica in charge.
“So, I’m the one compromised? I heard you’re dressing a couple of people for Chanel and another one for Saint Laurent. You can’t do that for me?” He huffs out.
You hiss through gritted teeth and excuse yourself to take the rest of your call in the bathroom. “There’s no need to be childish! Those two shows are right next to each other, while yours is across town. I can’t reach you in that short timeframe. Have you seen the traffic?”
He eventually concedes, softening his tone. “I’m sorry. I was just…hoping to see you since we're both in town. I thought that maybe we could grab dinner tonight at that restaurant we went to last time?”
You sigh, wishing it could be that simple. Instead of responding to his invitation, you run through tomorrow’s schedule. “I have another fitting tomorrow afternoon and a meeting after that. Olivier is also hosting a party tomorrow night after the Balmain show, so I don’t know—”
“I can meet you after your last event, just tell me where.”
“You can’t just show up randomly. There’s going to be other designers and stylists. You might feel out of place since you won’t know anybody,” you reason.
“You can always introduce me,” he suggests.
“As what?”
He’s silent for a few beats then says, “Your client?”
You chuckle, feeling a hint of embarrassment due to your presumptions. You've never clarified the nature of your relationship. Since you’re part of his team’s regular stylists, you have to stay professional, especially around staff and his other teammates. Occasionally, when he can steal a quiet moment, he whispers what he'd like to do when he gets you alone.
“Gyu—”
“Please? I miss you,” he pleads quietly.
Apart from the occasional sexy video calls, you haven't seen each other in over a month due to your busy work schedules. As much as you try to convince yourself that you don’t feel the same, hearing the need in his voice makes your chest twinge.
You open your mouth to answer but a knock on the bathroom door startles you. It’s the intern, telling you that your client needs your opinion on shoes.
You sigh, cursing under your breath. “I have to go. Just trust Monica, okay?”
You didn't wait for him to respond before you hung up. You didn't want to hear the disappointment in his voice. You wished you could leave all the work to your staff and head off to dinner with Mingyu, then go to bed with him. But there were too many eyes on Paris this week, especially on him.
This wasn’t like one of your clandestine meetings. He was more recognizable now, which meant photos could be snapped of you and him anywhere. When that happens, it’ll be all over.
After that call, you didn't hear from him for the rest of the night.
********
“So, how did you pick your outfit today?”
The question, posed by one of many journalists in the bustling press line of the fashion show’s venue, brings a warm smile to Mingyu's face.
“This outfit?” He took a moment before responding, his eyes had a hint of nostalgia as he revisited the process that eventually led up to the ensemble he was dressed in.
“Ah, well. My team put it together!” His response elicits laughter from both the photographers and the journalist.
“No, but seriously, I like clean, timeless looks with hints of detail and different textures to keep it interesting. My stylist knows me very well, and she has a great eye.” He finishes with that million-dollar smile of his, leaving the journalist flustered.
“Well,” the journalist says, “Sounds like someone out there deserves a nice bonus.”
“Oh, I agree!” He looks straight into the camera and gives a subtle wink at it right before the clip ends.
You chuckle and shake your head at your phone, swiping away to close out of full-screen mode.
Earlier this morning, he texted you a photo of his final look. He had chosen the blue suit and bejeweled button-down shirt, the ensemble you put together, and hoped he would go for. His choice delighted you, despite how sour your phone call ended last night.
You sent a text to Monica, thanking her for the link to Mingyu's interview clip and complimenting her on her first solo styling job.
She responded, saying that you did 90% of the work. She merely pulled together what made sense, and you approved.
You laugh. She's right, but she would at least get credit in the magazines and fashion blogs where Mingyu's photos would appear.
********
It was well past midnight when you got out of the limo with a couple of colleagues and walked into the hotel lobby, coming back from an after-party when your phone rang. You fish it out of your pocket and drunkenly squint your eyes at the caller ID.
It was Mingyu. You slide across your screen to answer it.
“Hey. Where are you?” His voice was gruff, like he had just woken up or maybe had a few drinks.
“I just got in from Olivier’s party.”
“Mm, how was that?”
“Good. We had fun. Nice way to cap off fashion week.”
He hums in response. “Are you back in your room?”
“Not yet but I’m heading up there soon. What’s up?” You step into the elevator and punch your floor number.
He sighs softly on the other line. “Nothing. Just wanted to make sure that you were back safe.”
“Uh-huh,” you say skeptically.
The elevator dings and stops at your floor. You step out and follow the hallway toward your room. “Why don't you tell me what's really going on?”
As you look ahead, you slow down upon seeing someone leaning against your doorway. How did he even… you stop that thought right away, not wanting to know all the details.
“I was hoping to say goodnight to you,” he says into the phone as you stop in front of him.
You glance at your watch and tell him, “But it’s already 2 in the morning.”
“So, good morning then?” he smirked. Then, his eyes rake you from head to toe. “You look nice.”
Judging by what you recall from your reflection in the elevator's mirror, you knew you were anything but. “Thanks. You look…clean.”
He was showered, barefaced, and dressed in sweats, his hair sticking out in every direction. Now this was the version of Mingyu you were used to seeing in private.
“Can I put you to bed?”
You bit your lip as he moved in closer. The thought was tempting, but you were aware that other staff members were staying on the same floor. But it was also late, and they were likely asleep. Perhaps a little nightcap wouldn't be too bad.
Before you can answer, you freeze when the door across the hall opens. Monica pops her head out, her sleep mask perched atop her head. “Oh, hey guys! I thought I heard voices. What are you doing here?” She directs her question at Mingyu.
“We were just talking,” he tells her with an innocent smile, relieved she didn't see him enter your room.
“Oh. Is everything okay?” She looks worried, assuming that Mingyu is there to tell you that she did an awful job, despite reassuring her that she did great filling in for you.
“All good! He and I just ran into each other in the lobby and started discussing an upcoming shoot,” you say apologetically.
“We'll try to keep it down,” Mingyu adds.
“No worries. I have a white noise machine,” Monica replies with a knowing smile. “You can be as loud as you want.”
Your mouth falls open as she casually turns back into her room and closes the door. 
Mingyu suppresses a laugh. “You think she knows?”
You smack him on the chest and roll your eyes, making him giggle some more.
“You're lucky I pay her well,” you say, reaching into your purse for your key card. You swipe it on the door sensor and step inside while he's still laughing. “Are you coming in or not?”
He laughs even harder, but he follows you right in.
********
“Did you like Monica’s picks?” you call out from the bathroom, as you finish up your skincare routine.
“You mean what you picked?” he retorts.
“I wasn't even there! That was all her.”
“He snorts at your comment. “You think she pulled those pieces all on her own without your sign-off?” He snacks on a few pomme frites that he ordered from room service during your quick shower.
“I've been training her for a couple of years. She deserves some credit,” you reply as you reenter the room in an oversized shirt, walking towards him on the couch, and taking some fries. 
“I mean, she's good, but she doesn't know me that well.” He pauses to watch you settle next to him. “You do, though.”
“Then let her get to know you! Help her out a little.” You suggest, barely looking up from your phone.
“You mean the way I got to know you? Is that what you want?” 
You tense up and purse your lips. However, considering you have no claim on Mingyu, you have no right to feel upset.
“I'm just saying—I can't always be where you need me to be and…you’re free to do what you want.” You clear your throat, attempting to sound nonchalant.
He lets out a sigh, pulling your phone down to get your attention. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want anybody else to get to know me.”
You could hear the yearning in his voice, something you didn’t quite expect.
After years in the industry, you told yourself you’d never get involved with a client. And then Mingyu came along. People were naturally drawn to him, and even you weren’t immune to his charms. He was always sweet, and you assumed he treated everyone who worked for him the same way. It wasn’t until after an overseas photoshoot followed by celebratory drinks with him and his staff, that you let your guard down.
What you initially saw as a one-time slip-up gradually became a series of encounters, each growing more intimate than the last. But you couldn’t stay in that mindset. You couldn’t get your hopes up, especially with someone as famous as he was. Not only was it bad for business but it was bad for you.
“I’m not playing games.”
“Neither am I.” He says evenly. “The fact is, I want you and I’m tired of sharing you with other people.”
You scoff at his audacious remark. “Look, it’s my job—”
He shakes his head and interjects. “You know what I mean. I want to make things official…with you. Just you.”
You sigh. “You know that we can’t.” Even though everything in you wants to scream yes.
“You can’t or won’t?”
“I know that you can't,” you counter. He's just too... public. Not only are you concerned about your reputation, but you're mostly worried about the backlash if his fans ever find out about you and him. The stakes are higher for him.
“That’s not true. It’s not like I’m a prisoner.” 
You chuckle humorlessly, as if he doesn’t see how this won’t end well for either of you. “I know how this business works, okay?”
“You think I don’t know that either? I just want us to try. I feel that there’s something more between us. And I know you feel it, too.” He reaches out and rests his hand on your bare knee.
Your skin tingles with the warmth of his touch. It’s been too long since you last felt it, and you’re ashamed to admit how much you missed it. Craved it, even.
You stare at his hand, now snaking past the hem of your shirt. “There are a million reasons why we shouldn’t do this.”
“Then let’s do it for the reasons that we should,” he retorts, lifting your chin to meet his gaze. You quickly realize that was a big mistake.
His eyes quietly pleaded, causing the knot in your stomach to tighten. Things weren't going to be easy. A million questions swirled in your head, but he quieted all except one as his face drew closer.
“How would we even do this?” You ask softly.
“Let me worry about that. I just need you to tell me that you want the same thing.”
Your hand lifts to his neck, fingers grazing his jawline, then up his cheek. He sighs softly, melting under your touch.
After a few beats, you cock an eyebrow at him. “You know, part of me feels like I’m letting you off easy. Maybe I should let you work for it a little?”
A smile ghosted his lips. He lowered his head, his voice deep and sexy. “I’ll work for it now.”
Even though you see the kiss coming, it still knocks you out. Mingyu’s lips meet yours, his tongue stroking greedily into your mouth. “C’mere,” he says roughly before urging you onto his lap.
Your phone rings, but you silence it quickly before chucking it, not caring where it lands. You tangle your fingers in Mingyu's hair, holding his head while you kiss him ardently. God, you love kissing him. The feel of his lips and the rough sounds of pleasure he makes are music to your ears. He’s ravenous for you, just as you are for him. He catches one of your wrists and pulls your hand over his chest, pressing it flat so you can feel his heart pounding.
“This all you,” he breathes against your mouth.
And with that, your walls come down. You’re done for.
You tear at each other’s clothing, yanking off each other’s shirts. You’re desperate to feel him, your lips and teeth catching every inch of his golden skin. At this point, you don’t care if other staff hear you throughout this floor.
He urges you backward until you feel the armrest of the couch behind you. Kissing you deeply, he cups one of your breasts in his hand, kneading it before pushing the bra cup down to touch your bare skin.
You fumble with the drawstring of his pants, whilst palming him through the material, feeling how hard he already is. You growl in frustration when he pulls your hands away.
He shakes his head and tuts. “You first.” Clever fingers circle your nipple and roll it, sending shocks of delight straight to your core.
The next moment, that mouth you love to kiss is on your breast, surrounding your tender nipple. His tongue flicks at the tip, his cheeks hollowing as he sucks. His other hand is between your legs, rubbing your aching cleft through your panties, teasing you even more by grinding his length against your thigh.
His scent surrounds you, just as his hands and mouth are all over you. You want some control, but he’s too strong, too quick, sliding lower before you can catch him.
He keeps his gaze on you as he tugs your panties down your legs. Your center clenches at how much that turns you on.
You sit up slightly to unclasp your bra, tossing it while Mingyu scoots back, lifting his hips to shove his sweats and boxer briefs out of the way. 
In an instant, he’s on you again–too impatient to strip all the way naked. He pins your hips down, urging your thighs further apart while he lines himself up to your center, and slowly pushes in. Lowering his head, he groans right in your ear, feeling how tight you are for him. 
You pant as he burrows deeper. Your nails dig into his back and your legs tighten around his waist. You’re wetter by the moment, rendered helpless by the way his hips move, his body mindlessly seeking a deeper connection to yours.
You gasp when he slides in deeper, your hips fighting his hold, needing to arch upward.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he moans, pulling back an inch and thrusting again.
He pulls out abruptly, leaving you empty and aching, but not for long. His mouth is there between your legs, licking, sucking on your clit, and fluttering over the bundle of nerves. Your hands fist at the cushions, eyes rolling to the back of your head. You went from zero to sixty so fast that your orgasm takes you by surprise.
“Oh, fuck,” you breathe out.
Shivers of pleasure course through you as you suck in air. He keeps your legs spread wide with his shoulders, holding you in place, as he slips two fingers inside.  He moves them in and out slowly, circling your clit in between. He teases you a few more times, edging you, making you desperate for his cock.
The instant he shifts to slide over you again, you seize the moment to push him to the other end of the couch. He doesn’t put up a fight as you move to straddle his hips. He simply leans back, his eyes wide, cheeks flushed from arousal, waiting for your next move.
You reach for his cock under you, fisting it slowly. He fights to keep his eyes open but the pleasure you give him feels too good. His chest heaves and he lets out a drawn-out groan. 
Fuck, he was hot. And the way his hands grip your hips tightly as you position him to your center drives you insane with the need to ride him hard.
You slide the tip between your folds, coating him with your slick before your hips sink in one swift move. Your mouths fall open when your ass hits the tops of his thighs, both of you relishing in the sensation. You rest your hands on his shoulders for leverage and roll your hips toward him slowly. His neck arches, letting out a groan of pleasure between clenched teeth.
His hands reach up to cup your breasts, palming them, and pinching your nipples, making you hiss at the perfect combination of pain and pleasure. “Ah…Mingyu...fuck, yes…”
Once you find your rhythm, he thrusts upward, meeting your hips. You push your fingers into his hair, cupping the back of his head to hold him close.
He nuzzles against your temple. “You want this?”
Your nodding wasn’t enough for him.
“Say it.”
So you say it loud and clear for him. “Yes, I want this. I want you.” 
With a shift of his hips, the tip of his cock notches into your opening. Pressure builds as he fucks into you. Slow, easy thrusts that work him into you with every lunge. Your entire body tenses, as he sinks deep into your core. You feel yourself inch closer and closer to your climax.
Your grip on him tightens, and you grind your hips, matching his every move to direct him into where it feels good.
“Kiss me,” you gasp.
Soon after his mouth makes contact with yours, your body surrenders to him. Tears sting your eyes when the tension in you breaks, and you come harder than you did the first time.
The pulsing only deepens as Mingyu continues to pound into you, chasing his own climax. His teeth sink into your shoulder as he finally reaches it, tethering his orgasm to yours.
It's one of the most intense sensations you've ever felt. Despite your body's natural instinct to pull away, your mind resists. The steady thrum of your heartbeat soothes you, and you stay there, quietly relishing the comfort in each other's arms.
********
Reluctantly, you take a second shower, with him doing most of the work cleaning you up. Afterwards, you crawl into bed. You watch him, carefully tucking you in, mildly annoyed that he can move and think clearly while you're still stuck in a post-orgasmic haze.
When he finally flops into bed beside you, you turn to face him. “How are you still moving around?”
He props his head in his hand and grins, his fingers running lightly down your cleavage. “Did you forget the ten minutes it took me to get up?”
“I’m making sure you’re down for the count next time,” you pout playfully.
“Hmm...” Leaning over you, he presses his lips to yours. “I’m just happy there’s a next time.”
You nod, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “Lots of next times.”
Reaching up, you brush his hair back from his forehead. His post-sex look is even more breathtaking. His face is softer, his eyes are brighter, and that smile… you sigh deeply. He looks so happy that it twists your heart to think that you had a hand in that without even really trying. Yet, this also worries you, knowing it would be devastating if that smile ever faded.
“I’m scared, you know,” you confess.
He lifts your hand and presses his lips to it. A few moments of silence pass before he replies, “Yeah. Me too.” You don’t even want to think about how the staff will react when they see him walk out of your room in a few hours.
His facial expression tenses, and you immediately regret bringing it up. You pull him closer, holding him tightly as a silent apology.
“Can we agree not to bring anything but us into bed?” he murmurs, running his nose along your cheek before pulling away slightly to look at you. “I just want us to have some place where nothing else matters but you and me.”
“Okay.” You nod, your hands stroking up and down his back. Burying your face in his chest, you breathe in, letting the familiar scent of his skin ground you in the moment.
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rip-quizilla · 1 year ago
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Eat Me
Pairing: Older!Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Popstar!Reader
Summary: (TLDR: you perform with Corroded Coffin, act like a brat the whole time, and Eddie makes you pay for it.) Two years after your hiatus from the music industry, you're back and all grown up now. After collaborating with early 2000's metal sensation Corroded Coffin for several songs off your new album, you debut the new tracks live in a surprise performance with the band during their tour- and the tension between you and frontman Eddie Munson is so thick, you're barely able to keep your pants on throughout the set. (Songs referenced are by Demi Lovato from her album HOLY FVCK, which inspired this fic. I highly suggest listening to the songs "Eat Me" and "Freak" while they're performed in the story for the complete experience!)
Word Count: 14K
Tags: 🔥SMUT, age gap (reader is 27, Eddie is 47), Reader is a brat (Eddie can handle it), fingering, squirting, p in v sex, unprotected sex (wrap up!!), light degradation, reader has blue hair, reader is a grown-up child star, for the purposes of this fic Corroded Coffin started in the 90s instead of 80s for timeline reasons
🖤🖤🖤
You had no fucking clue what you were doing. 
It had been two years since you’d put out music. Two. Years. That’s enough time for a person’s relevance to crawl into a hole and die, which is something you had been strongly considering doing for the duration of those two years. 
It was a tale as old as time- child star grows up. Child star is not a child anymore, but the world only wants the star to be a child, so if the star wants to keep being a star, they do not. grow. up. 
But you grew up, and guess what happened? 
The world hated you for it. 
So you stopped trying to be a star. You’d dropped off the face of the earth and deleted every social media app from your phone. You’d bought a house in the mountains, and thanks to modern technologies like Amazon and DoorDash, you basically never had to leave. It was a little scary how easily you had become a hermit living in a cabin in the woods. Your life quickly became a never ending cycle of reading, binge-watching tv, and dying/cutting your hair whenever the mood struck (The latest spontaneous color change had left you with a surprisingly pretty shade of faded blue).
It was easy, running away… until it caught up with you.
After all, at your core you had always been a performer. From your first audition at five years old to your big break at twelve, to the first album you’d put out on your television network’s record label- you had always been a person who had something to say and craved an audience to hear it. When your audience had turned on you, it had jolted your rhythm enough that you forgot the words to a song you’d been singing as long as you could remember. 
It had taken you a couple years, but eventually you figured out that when you play the same song on repeat for long enough, it gets old. 
So you wrote a new song. 
To be more precise, you wrote a whole album. Literally. 
Some of the songs were composed, some still needed a tune, but the message of the album was clear: I’m not that little girl on your TV screen anymore. You don’t have to like it, but you sure as hell can’t change it. 
The minute you’d figured that out, you’d called your team. Once they understood the direction your career was headed, they helped get everything in order for your re-entry into the fray that had driven you out in the first place. 
There was only one part of the album that made you nervous. 
I know two years doesn’t seem like that long, your agent had said, but the public eye doesn’t have a very impressive attention span. You only have half of the album composed, right? This is the perfect opportunity to make the other half of the songs collaborations with artists that are in the public eye! 
The idea made sense. Their popularity helps you, and if the songs go over well, then it helps the other artists too. The only issue was that these songs were way more vulnerable than what you used to write… hell, half the songs you’d recorded before your hiatus were written by whatever run of the mill joe schmo had gotten the kid-friendly execs’ stamp of approval. Even when you’d split from the network after turning twenty-three, you’d kept your songs strictly PG-rated since you knew the majority of your audience were minors. These new songs, though… 
You weren’t an idiot. The themes of these songs were not subtle. Anyone who listened to these new songs was going to see a side of you that wasn’t all that pretty. Were you ready for that? Were you ready to bare that darkness to not only the world, but to other artists who meant to help you make music out of it?
Your anxiety about the album had gotten even worse when your agent had given you the list of potential collaborators.
 One song that you were particularly proud of called “Eat Me” had some very metal undertones to it, so you’d told your agent that you’d like to collaborate with a metal band or artist to compose the music that would match the lyrics. Almost immediately, your agent had suggested a collaboration with Corroded Coffin.
The band had been HUGE when you were a kid, topping charts throughout your childhood and making a name for themselves as one of the most culturally relevant turn-of-the-century metal bands. Even now, they were a household name. Your older brother had been a huge fan, so you’d actually listened to their music quite a lot growing up. They weren’t some random collaboration- if Corroded Coffin read your lyrics (which were basically your soul laid out on display) and thought they were shit? It might just send you spiraling right back to your cabin in the mountains. 
You had been equal parts thrilled and terrified when your agent told you they’d agreed to collaborate on the song.
Currently, you were sitting in your home-away-from-home, a cozy apartment that you rented on a month-to-month basis whenever you needed to be in New York, which just so happened to be where Eddie Munson, lead singer/guitarist of Corroded Coffin had asked to meet with you. It was your album, so you had invited him to come to your place and discuss his ideas for the song. You shifted nervously on your couch and glanced at the time on your phone. He was ten minutes late- that shouldn’t bother you, a lot of musicians had a habit of running late. Just because you didn’t subscribe to that stereotype didn’t mean you had to judge him for doing the opposite. 
When you finally heard the buzz of your doorbell, you practically hopped off the couch. You peeped through the little door viewer to catch a glimpse before you had to look one of your childhood heroes in the eye. You… you hadn’t been adequately prepared to see this. 
Eddie Munson had been attractive in his hay day- you could admit that. You’d seen the pictures of him on their album covers, the press photos, the magazines… he had always been cute in a scruffy sort of way. You hadn’t bothered Googling what he looked like now, which you were currently regretting since you had not been adequately prepared for the father of all DILFs to be standing on your doorstep. 
After doing some quick math, you came to the conclusion that Eddie Munson must be in his mid to late forties at this point. His hair was still long and curly and thick as hell, but you noticed other details that you distinctly remembered were not present on the album covers you remember from your brother’s CD collection- dark, whiskery shadow along his cheeks and jawline. Tattoos creeping up from the collar of the crew neck shirt he wore, as well as every inch of his arms. A nose ring. Smile lines. Soft creases forming between thick brown eyebrows. 
Eyebrows drawing together in confusion because you weren’t opening the door. 
Shit. You inhaled sharply and hastily made to open the door. Breathe, you instructed yourself, taking a moment to blow out a semi-relaxing breath before turning the doorknob and plastering on your best entertainment industry smile.
“Hi!” you said, a little too peppy- you knew you sounded too peppy because the rockstar in front of you actually flinched when your high-pitched sorority girl voice slapped him in the face. “Sorry, I think I’m a little caffeine-riddled, I just finished my third cup of coffee.” You said apologetically, swinging the door open wider for him to step through the threshold into your apartment. 
“Too many frappuccinos there, huh popstar?” His voice… if it hadn’t been so condescending, you might have melted on the spot. Your pride, however, had to argue with your clenching thighs. 
“Uhm, no-” you laughed, keeping your voice airy as you shut the door and leaned back on it to ensure it was closed. “-just cold brew, rockstar.” You couldn’t help but add that quip at the end, seeing how he had just called you popstar like it was the same as calling someone a pussy or a wimp. What was his deal?
He looked at you with a raised eyebrow, arms crossed over his chest, and then turned back as if you hadn’t said anything at all. He simply sauntered through the hallway to your living room, where you had laid all the necessary materials for your composing process across the coffee table- but he wasn’t looking at that. He seemed to be inspecting your walls, the decor, the old pictures that sat in frames on your floating shelves, the records you had displayed above your turntable. His eyes surveyed everything like he was a judge at a fucking science fair, and your heart was starting to race as you started to irrationally wonder if you fell short of his expectations or something.
“Ahem,” you cleared your throat to get his attention. 
He turned to face you, irritation flashing across his expression like a cloud blowing past the sun. You took a breath. Calm down, you chided yourself mentally, he’s probably just a prick, don’t take it personally. Be professional. 
“Can I get you something to drink?” You chirped politely, to which he smirked and shook his head.
“Don’t trouble yourself, sweetheart.” 
You bristled; sweetheart? Who did he think he was, Don Draper? Was this the 1950’s? Were you his fucking secretary? Your blood pressure rose by the second. 
“Hm.” you respond, chewing your lip to keep a snarky response to yourself. “Well, we can go ahead and get started if you want.” You gestured to the pages strewn across the coffee table. Notebook pages with your lyrics written out in black pen, empty pages of sheet music that you planned to fill out with a melody to coincide with your words as the morning went on. Your acoustic guitar sat securely in its stand beside the couch, eagerly awaiting your hands to make the message in your music come alive.
Munson sunk into the cushions of your leather couch, manspreading enough to make you feel like a guest in your own apartment. His forearms rested on the thighs of his ripped charcoal jeans as he surveyed the pages before him. He grabbed the notebook page full of lyrics first, chuckling when he saw the title. 
“Eat Me, huh?” he raised an eyebrow at you, and the way he was holding the page between the two of you left only the top half of his face visible from where you sat. You noted that Eddie Munson had extremely expressive eyes. “That’s a pretty evocative title for such a squeaky-clean ‘lil diva.”
Your brow furrowed. “That’s kind of the point.” Using your pointer finger to pull the page down, the bottom half of the rockstar’s face coming into view and spiking your blood pressure again when you saw that fucking smirk still on his face. 
That’s it. This guy is an ass.
“Maybe my agent didn’t accurately portray my vision for this album,” you said, struggling to grit out the words without coming across angry. “If that’s the case, I’m very sorry we got our wires crossed.” 
Ready to listen, Munson leaned back into your couch and crossed one booted foot over his knee, an arm thrown across the top of your couch cushions. The picture of nonchalance. 
Cocky bastard. 
“I’m not sure if you’re aware, but I haven’t put any music out in over two years.” you began. “This isn’t just a new album for me- it's more like a debut album for the new direction I want to take my career in. Up until now, I’ve been portraying a very different side of myself that…if I’m being honest, it wasn’t really me. It was childish and immature and I…” 
You huffed out a heavy, frustrated sigh. “-I can’t do it anymore, I can’t keep being a kid, I’m twenty-fucking-seven years old, for god’s sake.” the rockstar’s eyebrows jumped up at hearing your expletive, obviously amused.
What the fuck? Here you were, being vulnerable with a complete stranger, and he thought it was amusing? You half expected him to laugh, but you brushed past it and decided to ignore this asshole being even more of an asshole. 
“What I’m trying to say is this is a very personal album for me. It’s very different from what I’ve been putting out, and that is very much the point. Does that make sense?” 
You watched as he slowly nodded his head, mulling over your words. “So…it’s like a coming of age thing?” he ventured, “Like, ‘little girl’s all grown up and sexy now’ all that?” his mouth turned up at one corner. “How very Miley Cyrus of you, sweetheart.”
You scoffed, physically recoiling a bit. “Are you being serious right now?” you balked. 
He shrugged. 
Oh, you fumed, that is it. Fuck this guy.
You stood from the couch, finally snapping after holding yourself back from giving this asshat a piece of your mind. “What is your problem?” Munson’s smirk faded a bit, but his smug air remained intact as he stared up at you. 
“Look sweetheart-”
“No.” you cut him off, stopping him with a hand in the air. “Stop calling me sweetheart like you know me or like that isn’t a condescending fucking way to speak to someone. You have done nothing but talk down to me since you walked through that door, so no, you do not get to talk to me like that, I don’t care how famous you are.”
There wasn’t a trace of a smile on his face now, and you took pride in that. Maybe there was a conscience in there somewhere that was telling him I told you so right now.
You took the page from his hands and held it up for emphasis. “If you had just read my fucking song before making assumptions, then maybe you would have understood that this song is actually a social commentary on people like you who assume the direct trajectory of a child star’s career is to go from cute and childish to sexy ‘girls gone wild’ or whatever the fuck.” you spat, practically shaking the paper in your hand. “I’m allowed to grow into whoever I damn well please, and that’s exactly what this song is about. If I want to write a song about sex- and I’ve written a few, they’re on the fucking album- I’ll write them because that’s what I want to write! I’m not doing it for shock value or because I like attention; hell, I’ve been a literal hermit in the woods for two years, I don’t give a fuck about attention!”
You finally paused to breathe, and you knew your eyes must look absolutely insane because the man before you genuinely looked terrified. 
Steeling yourself, you inhaled and exhaled slowly, attempting to push down some of that hysteria. “Sorry.” you bit, “Didn’t mean to unload all that on you. It’s just… this song is a part of me, and you just belittled it without even reading past the title.” You looked him directly in those big brown eyes and thought- hoped- for a second that you saw understanding in his gaze. “That was shitty. I’m not letting other people make me feel like shit anymore.” 
When you were finished, silence took over. It settled over the room like a reprieve from a short but heavy rainfall before the sun showed itself again. Suddenly, Eddie Munson stood from your couch and marched to your door, letting himself out with a sharp click of your doorknob latching closed. 
Okay. That went well. The lead singer of one of the most famous metal bands just came to your apartment, got yelled at, and ran away. You were just starting to ponder how you would explain this one to your publicist before you heard a knock at your door. Tentatively, you opened it- you didn’t need to look through the peephole to know who it was. 
Eddie Munson stood at your door wearing an expression that you hadn’t seen yet today- he looked open, compassionate, and sorry. One hand in his pocket with the other outstretched, tattoos winding up the expanse of skin, rings glinting light from the sconces on either side of your door. He was offering his hand. 
Smiling slightly, you accepted his gesture. You grasped his ink-scarred hand, feeling the cold metal of his rings press against your skin as you shook it. “It’s lovely to meet you-” he said your name softly, and you realized that when he had entered your apartment earlier, you hadn’t even exchanged pleasantries. Hadn’t introduced yourselves, almost as if fame got rid of the need for normal human introductions. Now, here he was, remedying that.
“It’s nice to finally meet you, Mr. Munson,” you said, voice less chipper than it had been when the two of you originally stood in these same spots. “I’m a huge fan.” 
He winced at ‘Mr.’, clapping his other hand over yours tightly. “Please, for the love of god, don’t call me Mr. Munson.” his big brown eyes pleaded with you. “Call me Eddie.”
Your smile widened as you nodded. “Eddie.” you repeated. “Is this you telling me we’re starting over?” 
He let go of your hand, and you felt a sudden chill as the warmth of his skin left yours. “If that’s alright with you?” he replied softly, turning up the end of his sentence like a question. 
Instead of saying yes, you simply stepped back to make room for him in your hallway. With a pleasant grin on your lips, you gestured for him to step inside. “Let’s get started, then.”
After sitting down on the couch once more, Eddie took the sheet of notebook paper on which you’d scrawled a part of your soul written in verse and began to read intently. Leaving him to digest the song completely (also because you felt awkward sitting there in silence as he read your work) you left to grab two water bottles from the kitchen. When you returned, he had already grabbed a fresh sheet of notebook paper and begun jotting down notes. 
You placed the bottles on coasters, bracing yourself for the criticism that you knew was coming-
“You were right.”
Huh? 
You craned your neck to see what he had written on the notebook paper. “About what?”
With a mischievous glint in his eyes, Eddie yanked the paper out of your line of sight. “About this song, it’s completely different from what I’d assumed you would write. Actually,” he grinned. “-it’s kinda fucking metal.”
You smiled, once again reaching for the page. “Then let me see what you wrote-”
“I’m not finished yet, keep your panties on.”
The two of you worked for hours that afternoon, Eddie suggesting lines and chords as you wrote corresponding notes and chords on your sheet music. It didn’t take long for you to grab the acoustic guitar and begin strumming out portions of the song until it was finished.
Both of you agreed it was something to be proud of.
“Hey, uh,” Eddie stuttered before exiting your apartment that evening, when you were both happy with the work you’d done for the day. “I hope you know how sorry I am for being such an ass when I got here earlier-”
You shrugged, any traces of anger melted away at this point. “Eh.” you smirked. “You made up for it. That song might be my favorite on the album now, honestly, I meant it when I said I was a fan of yours- wouldn’t have trusted it with anyone else.”
He smiled at you warmly. “I’m honored to have such a talented fan.” The door was open, but he wasn’t leaving yet. Instead, Eddie stood with his tattooed arms crossed over his chest leaning his weight to one shoulder against the doorway. “I mean it though, you’re a talented songwriter. If you want to collaborate on any other songs, just say the word and I’m back here.”
You quirked an eyebrow. “Are you serious?”
He nodded, “Dead serious.”
Smiling excitedly, you ran to your notebook, flipping through the pages until you found what you were looking for. You looked up at Eddie, a knowing grin on your lips. “Remember those songs about sex I mentioned?”
***
The original plan for your album had been to collaborate with multiple artists for about fifty percent of your album, while the other fifty percent would only feature you. What ended up happening was slightly different.
The more songs Eddie saw, the more passionate he became about the message you were working to convey through your lyrics. He ended up reworking every single song with you in a completely collaborative process, where he never overstepped, never tried to take over- simply understood what you were trying to say and added the extra ‘oomph’ each song had been needing to truly become what you had envisioned. 
“I feel like I really can’t just call this my album now, Eddie, you’ve contributed way more to this to just be credited as a featured artist-”
You’d first voiced concerns about how to credit Eddie in the album a few days into your songwriting spree. It became an easy routine, Eddie would come over first thing in the morning, and the two of you would sit in your living room working through your songs and ordering takeout until the sun set. 
“Well it’s not a collaboration album with Corroded Coffin,” Eddie had replied, sticking a bite of noodles into his mouth. The two of you had been seated at your kitchen table, white boxes of Chinese food, napkins, and torn chopstick wrappers decorating the space between you. “Those fuckers haven’t even met you, they don’t get credit for anything they ain’t playing on.” 
“But I’m talking about you.” you pushed, “If we keep going the way we’ve been, you’re going to be a vital part of the composition for every track on this album! I’m not going to let you avoid credit for that.” you gazed at him, unable to hide the admiration you’d begun to feel for the artist at your table. “Let me list you as a composer for every track you help me with. We already know you and your band will be featured on Eat Me and Freak, so obviously you’ll be credited for those…” 
As you continued to ramble on about how Eddie would be credited for each and every song lyric he suggested, he got distracted looking at the way your hair glinted slightly different shades of blue in the sunlight that filtered in through your balcony window. His eyes followed the light along your skin, taking in the way it glistened off the dewey shine on your cheekbone, how it shone directly into the corner of your eye so that colors he had never noticed were brought to the surface of your irises…
This wasn’t the first time that Eddie had gotten distracted watching you rant about something you were passionate about. He knew he was supposed to be listening, that it was very important that he knew what your songs were about, that he understood the details of your plans for the album so that you wouldn’t have to repeat yourself later- but dammit, you were just so pretty. Really fucking pretty, it was hard for him not to get distracted. Initially, this whole collaboration had just been something that Eddie’s publicist had suggested for getting the newer generation listening to Corroded Coffin in time for their new album to drop at the end of the summerl, so when Eddie had first waltzed into your apartment he’d been expecting a kid; an innocent, teeny-bopper sort of persona. He hadn’t expected a loud, firecracker of a woman with hair the color of his old denim jacket. 
Eddie wasn’t an idiot. He was well aware that he was old enough to be your father. You were what- twenty-seven? Twenty-eight? Definitely under thirty. And here he was, pushing forty-seven with a salt and pepper shadow on his jawline. The hair on his head hadn’t started graying yet (he dreaded the day that he would have to use *gulp* hair dye) but he knew it was only a matter of time. For him to be ogling you like this? It would probably make you uncomfortable if you knew how often his eyes forgot to look away when you left the room. What was that old saying? Hate to see you go, love to watch you leave-
“Eddie?” 
Shit. He’d missed an entire conversation, hadn’t he?
He gave you his best apologetic smile, which didn’t work at all. You sighed, hanging your head low exasperatedly. “You didn’t hear a word of that did you?”
“Not a word, zoned out.” 
You threw a fortune cookie at him.
***
You and Eddie didn’t see each other for a while after recording the album. Eddie was there with the rest of Corroded Coffin to record the two tracks that they were featured in for the album, but after that plus a few guitar parts Eddie had been kind enough to record for some other songs, the two of you hadn’t had a reason to see each other. 
That was why you were so nervous for tonight. 
After working all summer and the better part of the fall, the album was finally finished. Copies of CDs and special edition vinyl were already being shipped out to music stores across the country and set to hit shelves in a week, so tonight was the kickoff event for your publicity tour: you would be joining Corroded Coffin tonight onstage for a surprise performance of Eat Me and  Freak. Tonight was October 31st, and premiering those songs on Halloween with the metal king that helped you make them the masterpieces they were? This was just one of those moments when the stars aligned poetically.
You looked yourself in the mirror, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves before heading to sound check. It had been a couple of months since you’d seen Eddie, but that wouldn’t matter, right? You’d spent a whole week workshopping incredibly personal- in some cases, intimately personal- songs with the guy, so singing onstage with him shouldn’t be a big deal. You were a professional, so it didn’t matter that you hadn’t performed in over two years, you could do this. Never mind the fact that this was the first performance of the rest of your career; never mind that sometimes the way Eddie looked at you make you feel like your knees were about to buckle; never mind that Eddie Munson, rock god and sex symbol of the metal world, was going to be within touching distance the moment you set foot on that stage…
A knock at the door of your tiny dressing room startled you, along with a voice letting you know that sound check was about to begin. Decisively, you grabbed your water bottle and headed to the stage before you could psych yourself out any more. 
When you got to the stage, Eddie was the first person you laid eyes on. He smiled at you, dark curls flying around his face and forming a sinful-looking halo around his face as he gave you a friendly nod- god, he was gorgeous. Waving back at him, you returned the nod and grinned. You wouldn’t be going on until the end of their set, so you situated yourself on an empty stool backstage with a view of the band. 
Their practice was fascinating to watch, how all four of the band members were so obviously masters of their craft, each ear trained to notice any imperfection in the way their instruments sounded through the stereos. Every once in a while, Eddie would look your way out the corner of his eye, just to check if you were still watching; you always were. Whenever he saw you looking directly at him, never glancing down at your phone or at the other band members (besides the odd look thrown in Gareth Emerson’s direction; the way his curls bounced was honestly hypnotic), he’d hold your eye contact, smirk into the microphone, and continue to belt out the lyrics to his songs with a smidge more cockiness than he had been prior. 
When the time finally came for you to join them, you took a deep breath and strutted to where Eddie stood in the center of the stage. No one had handed you a mic, so you weren’t sure where you were supposed to stand until Eddie moved aside to make room for you at his mic stand. 
You looked questioningly at Eddie. “You don’t need your mic?”
He chuckled, placing a hand on the small of your back as he put his lips to your ear. You figured he was just trying to avoid the mic picking up his voice, but the hand on your back… that was new. Was this a move? Was Eddie Munson making a move? On you?
Oh. 
That’s a fun development. 
“This one’s all you, darlin’.” Eddie said, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “I’ll stay out of your way. Also-” He pulled away enough to look you in the eyes, and your lips must have been a little too close to the mic because it picked up your fucking gasp. You jerked your head away from the mic, cursing yourself for being so nervous. 
Eddie definitely noticed, but all he did was chuckle, still staring at you with giant doe eyes framed by smile lines and bushy brown eyebrows. “-it’s good to see you, popstar.” There was no condescension in his tone this time; all you could find in his gaze was kind, genuine joy that you were here, and you couldn’t help but smile back. 
Confidently, you gripped the mic with both hands, smirking at Eddie through your side eye. You didn’t bother leaning away from the mic when you replied, sprinkling sultry into your voice. If Eddie Munson was trying to drop a hint, you wanted him to know you were receiving it.
“It’s good to see you too, rockstar.”
***
Mic check went flawlessly, which meant it was time for you and the band to eat in the green room while fans began lining up outside the venue, waiting for the doors to open. 
You had a couple drinks with the band while biding your time before you had to get dressed for the show. Much to your delight, Eddie never left your side the whole time. You had been close to him in your living room day after day when you’d worked on your songs, but this was different; you kept noticing little glances and touches that spoke louder than words- how his hands lingered longer than expected, never missing a chance to touch your arm or place a hand on your back to guide you as you walked. How his eyes were most focused whenever he was looking at you, and he never seemed to give you passing glances- every look he gave you was intense and purposeful, it made you shiver in a very good way. When he and the band left to get ready for showtime, he took a moment to check on how you were before leaving to go to his dressing room. 
“You nervous?” he asked. There wasn’t any judgment there, just concern for you. 
“Yes,” you admitted, “But I think I’ve got it.”
Eddie smiled widely, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and squeezing you tightly. “Oh I know you’ve got it, angel.”
You caught his wrist, holding it to your shoulder before he could retract it. Turning to him, you batted your eyes a bit before raising an eyebrow. “Angel, huh?”
Eddie inclined his head, eyes narrowing flirtatiously. “What, should I switch back to sweetheart?”
You smirked. “Only if you wanna make me mad.”
It took everything in you not to shrink back from him as he leaned forward, practically glowering over you. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but must have decided against it. You saw his tongue poke into the inside of his cheek as he nodded to himself, eyes narrowing further as if he were having a whole conversation within his head that you weren’t privy to. Finally, he gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze and you let him go, staring at him with every ounce of confidence you could muster. 
“...I’ll remember that, popstar.” he said, voice low and gravelly and sure to throw you into a coma if he said the right words with that voice at the right time. You didn’t let him see how much he was affecting you, though- save for a little grin that you couldn’t hide as he smirked at you and walked away.
When he exited the green room- and you were sure you were alone- you finally let out a breath that you’d been holding for what seemed like entire minutes. You grabbed your drink, chugging down the rest of your liquid courage in the hopes that it might also cool you down a bit. 
***
The cheers from the crowd were deafening, and the gravity of what was about to happen was starting to get to you. 
Corroded Coffin was about to start the song that would be your cue to join them. You stood in the wings like you had during sound check, this time fussing over your outfit to ensure every piece was in place. The fact that it was Halloween combined with the tone of your new album had influenced your wardrobe choice for the evening- ripped black jeans that were more rip than jean, a strappy black bustier top with a plethora of silver buckles that decorating the surface of your bodice where the sides attached at your sternum, fishnet fingerless gloves, and your favorite part of the outfit: the biggest platform boots you’d ever owned. You remembered seeing them and falling in love immediately with the straps that decorated the entirety of the shoe, as well as the silver buckles on each strap that matched your top like a dream. Paired with your blue hair, you looked strikingly goth and nearly unrecognizable from the girl your fans remembered. 
When Eddie announced you onstage, you had to take a deep breath before joining him out there. Slow inhale, slow exhale… and then you were overtaken with hot stage lights.
Out on the stage, you could really take in the size of this crowd- it was far larger than what you were used to, and when they realized who you were, they went wild. You couldn’t help but be intimidated until you felt Eddie’s hand gently grounding you as it ghosted the skin on your back.
His lips tickled your ear as he leaned in and whispered in your ear out of range from the mic, “Knock ‘em dead, sweetheart.” 
You felt a flare of indignation intertwined with delight, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little evilly into the mic at this little shit of a rockstar.
 He did that on purpose. 
You looked at him with the biggest smirk on your face, and it matched the smug, sultry grin on his. Silently, he nodded at the audience as if to say ‘Well? They’re waiting.’
You looked over your shoulder at Jeff on the bass, nodded, and right on cue as Jeff began the first note of the song, the entire stage was flooded with scarlet light. 
***
Eddie could tell you were nervous. Flirting with you probably wasn’t helping, and for all he knew, he might even be making you uncomfortable. 
However…
Over the years, Eddie’s gotten more perceptive when it came to the subtleties of body language. He didn’t miss the fact that you’d been leaning into every touch he ghosted over your skin, no matter how overt or fleeting those touches might have been. He’d seen the change in your eye contact when it lingered a little longer than necessary- that shift from attentive to intrigued, even a little wanting at times. 
The only question was what you wanted, and Eddie was really hoping it was him.
As he watched you take his place at the mic, standing monochrome in scarlet light, he bit his lip as he tried to hold back the salacious grin that slid across his lips; he was unsuccessful. 
Eddie hit his guitar part easily as you purred the lyrics that the two of you had slaved over into your microphone. 
Be more predictable
Be less political
Not too original
Keep to tradition, but stay individual
Thrusting ever so slightly with his warlock, Eddie channeled the rage and rebellion of your lyrics into every word, smirking with the next few lines- they had been one of the first additions to the song that he’d made, and you more than did them justice. 
Dirty but washable
Winning but stoppable
All that I’m hearing is
You wanna make the impossible possible
Even though you’d been nervous earlier, it looked like you’d been able to shake it all off. Confidence was rolling off you like waves, strength in your comfort onstage practically seeping out of your pores. Eddie felt proud, yes, but mostly? He was turned the fuck on by it. His eyes never left you as you carefully removed the mic from its stand and leisurely strode to the edge of the stage as you sang the next lines, punctuating the last with a little shake of your head and a comically disgusted wrinkle of your nose.
Is this what you’d all prefer?
Would you like me better if I was still her?
Did she make your mouths water?
Ugh.
Just like you’d practiced, flashing white lights littered the stage right on cue when the drums opened up the chorus, and you belted those lyrics with all the anger and exasperation that he knew you’d felt when you’d written them. You were a force to be reckoned with- this was that girl he’d met when he’d walked into your apartment acting like a jackass; this was the firecracker of a woman who wasn’t afraid to tell him exactly what she thought. 
I know the part I’ve played before
I know the shit that I’ve ignored
I know the girl that you adored
She’s dead, it’s time to fucking mourn
I can’t spoon-feed you anymore
I can’t spoon-feed you anymore
Dinner’s served, it’s on the floor
I can’t spoon-feed you anymore
You dropped to a crouch, for the end of the chorus, legs bent but spread slightly, and flashing lights glinted off the metal buckles of your platform boots. Your voice ripped from your chest as you belted into the mic.
You’ll have to eat me as I am
You’ll have to eat me as I am
Eddie was incredibly grateful for the crouch you’d dropped into, because it gave him a view of your ass that was so perfect, he actually groaned. Swooned, practically. Thank god you had his mic and the music was loud enough that no one noticed. He hoped. However, anyone with eyes could probably see that he was basically undressing you with his gaze right now, so he really needed to get it together unless he wanted to be on a front page tomorrow for the wrong reasons. He cringed, imagining the headline Munson Ogles Popstar Half His Age. Mid-Life Crisis? Yeah. His publicist would love that one. 
You stood back up, stalking the edge of the stage as you sang the second verse. When you were about halfway through, you turned to look over your shoulder at Eddie, and it just about knocked the breath from his lungs. Your eyes- lined in black and zeroing in on him like something out of his metalhead fantasies- smoldered like embers on the edge of a cigarette as you sang the second half of the verse to him. 
Longer hair and tighter clothes
Would you like me better if I didn’t oppose?
Silver platters, pretty bows…
You were at his side now, turned sideways from the crowd so you were facing him as he turned to face you in tandem. About a foot away from each other, the only thing between you was his guitar, thankfully big enough to hide the way his hard-on was quickly growing harder with every moment you looked at him with those eyes. 
Your expression shifted, eyes rolling as you threw your head back in mock boredom, amping the lines up to the extreme. As you lifted your head back up, you looked at him with the brattiest fucking face Eddie had ever seen as you delivered the final line of the verse into the mic.
…Fuck. 
And then you smirked, tip of your tongue peeking out of your lips and you winked at him. 
Fucking. Winked. 
Ohhhhhh, you were doing this on purpose. You had to be. 
And Eddie couldn’t do shit about it, because you were in the middle of a performance, on stage, jumping around in platform boots and screaming the chorus into your mic like fucking banshee. So he channeled every ounce of sexual frustration into shredding the fuck out of his guitar and staring you down, salivating at the way you blazed on that stage like a witch at the stake. Then, about halfway through that chorus, at the edge of the stage and working the crowd for all they could give you, Eddie just about had a heart attack.
Because you dropped to your fucking knees.
You let the music take control of you, screaming ‘I can’t spoon-feed you anymore’ into the mic, you dropped down to one knee followed by the other as you delivered the final lines before Eddie’s solo.
You’ll have to eat me as I am
You’ll have to eat me as I am
You held your last note long and loud, widening your knees and leaning into a backbend that didn’t stop until your upper back touched the stage behind you. Eddie was amazed that he was even able to remember his part when you were in front of him doing that. Jesus Christ.
Eddie continued to play, and he saw you crane your neck just in time to make eye contact with him as you delivered the next line of the song. You brought the mic to your lips, your knees still spread open and your spine deliciously arched.
Choke on it!
God…you were gonna kill him. 
You pushed yourself back into a kneeling position, facing the audience. As Eddie’s guitar solo became more complex, and his playing more impressive, your jaw dropped as you looked to the audience and fanned yourself, as if you were all sharing a joint reaction of ‘wow, are you guys hearing this too?!’. Eyes crinkling from your smile, you brought the mic to your mouth again. 
Choke on it!
Once you were back on your feet, you stood at ease in the center of the stage as you waited out Eddie’s solo. When he finished, you stared down the crowd as you delivered the last chorus. At this point, Eddie could see some of the spectators mouthing the words along with you, and his chest swelled with pride at your ability to win over a crowd that hadn’t even been expecting you on stage. Hell, knowing his fans, most of them were probably older than you by several years, and yet here they were singing your song. 
When you drew your first breath after the final note, the crowd went wild. He expected you to be staring at them, soaking up the energy of a satisfied throng of fans, but no- immediately, your eyes were on him, an ear-to-ear smile stretching across your face. You had just absolutely killed your first song performed in two years, and you wanted to share your joy with him before you shared it with anyone else. 
Eddie couldn’t help but mirror your smile- it was the least he could do, after the way you just made his heart swell to triple its usual size. He took a few steps over to where Jeff stood with his bass, nodding to the mic in a silent question, to which Jeff gladly stepped aside. 
“If this is what happens when you take a two-year hiatus,” Eddie said slyly into the mic, “then maybe you should do it more often, rockstar.”
The crowd cheered again, and you looked caught off guard by his calling you rockstar instead of popstar. To Eddie, it made perfect sense- tonight, there was nothing pop about you. You were rock & roll incarnate, his equal in every single way. You took a few steps back until you and he were the same distance from the edge of the stage, and as long as he was speaking, your eyes never left him.
“So I’ve been working with this absolute badass on an album- well no, I’m giving myself way too much credit, she wrote an album, I plucked a few guitar strings, yada yada yada-” You giggled as Eddie reminded the crowd of your name, loud and clear, so they knew who to look up on Spotify later. “-anyway, her album drops in a week, that last song you heard was called…”
Eddie looked at you with expectant eyes and a devilish smile. He wanted to hear you say it. Just for fun. He enjoyed being a little shit. 
You smirked into your mic. “Eat Me.” 
The crowd cheered again, all it took was hearing you say two little words. Eddie knew the feeling.  
“We’ve got one more before our lovely guest has to leave the stage, and this one is my personal favorite off the album.” Eddie started warming up with a couple chords from the song before adding, “This is Freak.”
You had replaced the mic into its stand at center stage, which was where Eddie headed to meet you. During sound check, you had asked him if he would need his own mic for this one, but Eddie- selfishly- had said it was no problem, and he didn’t mind sharing. That was a drastic understatement though, since he would happily leap at any excuse to have his lips close to yours in any capacity at all. 
You smiled at him, and you were doing that thing again- that thing where you looked at him like you were giving him a dare. That thing where you touched the tip of your tongue to your upper lip. 
Eddie wanted to bite that lip.
Instead, he smoldered down at you as he began the opening chords to Freak. 
***
You may not have been sure about Eddie’s feelings before tonight, but you were now. 
He wanted you. Bad. So bad, you felt high off the lust that was rolling off the man beside you. 
You could tell by the way he was looking at you that he wanted to do so many things to you here and now, but due to the giant crowd before you that wasn’t an option. The power trip of knowing that every move you made was driving him crazy and he couldn’t do shit about it made you feel bratty as fuck, and you channeled every ounce of that into each word of your next song. 
Pinch me, singe me, inch me to the edge
Your eyes fluttered shut as you let the sultry lyrics take over, arms bending as you brought them up to dance above your head as you stretched your neck back. Your pose mimicked the way you might have stretched across a bed, arching your back slightly in a way that you knew would make Eddie’s mind wander to all the right places. 
Prod me, laud me, ungodly but heaven-sent
As the tempo picked up for the bridge, your lips brushed the mic and you bounced slightly to the beat. Looking up at Eddie, you felt your chest tighten when you saw how blown his pupils were as they zeroed in on you. There was nothing silly or flirty in his gaze now- this was lust, want, need… it was predatory in a way that made you shiver.
Get your tickets to the freak show, baby
Step right up to watch the freak go crazy.
Eddie’s guitar launched into the chorus with you, both of your mouths breaking your little standoff by smiling because you couldn’t help yourselves- performing together, this close, singing lyrics that the two of you connected with- you were having so much fun. 
Am what I am and what I am is a piece of meat
Take a bite just to watch me bleed
Freak
Say what you want and what you want is behind your teeth
Ain’t gotta spell it out for me
Freak
Now Eddie’s lips were the ones on the mic, his throaty voice tearing through the air in a way that made you stop short from its power alone. He sang the first two lines on his own-
Bait me, you can cage me
Even plate me, I don’t care
You joined him for the bridge on one side of the mic while his mouth remained in place at the other, and his voice dropped down to his chest to create a sound that was more growl than song. He sounded demonic, feral- damn, you wanted to jump his bones right now. 
Get your tickets to the freak show, baby
Step right up to watch the freaks go crazy
As you both sang the chorus together this time, your eye contact across the microphone was charged with feelings reflected as though you were looking in a mirror. Anticipation for what would happen after this show was building with every lyric, and as he growled his lines into the mic you wondered what the headline would be if you stuck your tongue down his throat right now. 
Unfortunately, that wasn’t how you wanted to start this next leg of your career- at least publicly. Different time, different place. Like, say, in about thirty minutes. In your dressing room. Against a wall, preferably.
When you finished the chorus, Eddie shredded through his guitar solo like a bat out of hell, even improvised a scream into the mic that made your jaw drop yet again. Upon hearing it, you couldn’t help but let out a surprised laugh, hopping up and down in your platform boots and headbanging along with him. After he’d finished, you took hold of the mic stand with both hands and began chanting repeating lines that would take you through to the next chorus before ending the song. 
Came from the trauma, stayed for the drama
You sang the line twice before Eddie joined you for the third and fourth repetition, that deep, ripping croon tearing its way through his throat and out of his plush pink lips less than an inch from yours. You wanted to turn your head and look at him so badly, but you were so close that you’d be locking lips if you did. 
As you both sang the final chorus, you pulled back just enough for your gazes to meet; you were rewarded with lust blown umber eyes, sweat-soaked curls framing a face as timeless as music itself, and a grin that sparked pure joy in your very soul. 
If this guy can fuck, you might just fall for him. 
Eddie prompted the audience to cheer for you one more time after the song was over, shooting you a smile as he brought you in for a friendly hug. He was in front of thousands; you knew his hands would remain in strictly G-rated areas (unfortunately), but he did whisper in your ear out of range from the mic. 
“Wait for me in your dressing room.”
Bingo. 
You thought about following his lead- waiting patiently in your dressing room for him to finish up his show then have his way with you- but you had a better idea. You tilted your head up quickly to bring your lips up to his ear, your clear lip gloss catching its shell.
“I’m gonna keep watching you in the wings- you can do whatever you want after that.” 
Your eyes met as you pulled away, and you let yourself revel for a moment at the way he looked at you- like he wanted to, well…eat you. Eyes so dark they were almost black under the stage lights, he shook his head slightly in disbelief. Again, you felt that familiar rush of adrenaline from driving him crazy when he couldn’t do a fucking thing about it; you were beginning to think you might be addicted.
As Corroded Coffin finished their set, you stayed offstage and did exactly what you said you would- you watched Eddie every second. You were like a sponge soaking up every flip of his hair, every deft movement of his fingers as they flew across the frets of his guitar. Every once in a while, his eyes would flick to where you stood, checking to see if you were still there, which of course you were. Each time he saw you, you watched as he shook his head again, or rolled his eyes, or- in one case which almost resulted in you melting into a puddle on the floor- maintaining eye contact as he belted out lyrics to songs he wrote, with a gaze so smoldering it felt as if there were no one in the whole arena but the two of you. With every minute, every note, every song- you felt him spinning a web around you like a spider trapping its prey, and you willingly anticipated the moment he would finally storm off the stage and drink you dry.
And that’s exactly what he did.
The last song ended, and Eddie wasted no time in ripping his guitar from his torso, handing it to a roadie without a second glance and grabbing you by the hand. You didn’t protest as he pulled you into a corner backstage away from any prying eyes. Before you could think a coherent thought besides Wow, I’m wet, Eddie took both your wrists in his strong, ring-dappled hands and slammed them above your head against the wall. His eyes, black with lust and wolfishly hungry, bored into yours as he used the last ounce of restraint to hold himself back long enough to ask the vital question, “Tell me, you want this?”
He bit the words out; growled them into your face as your eyes widened, desire painting your expression a gorgeous shade of pathetic as you nodded desperately. A deep groan sounded from his chest as Eddie pressed his pelvis against yours, and you gasped at how hard he was. “Words, sweetheart, I need you to say it.”
That familiar flare of indignation in your chest mingled with the flames in your core that burned for all he had to give you. Your eyes shifted, screaming rebellion that harmonized with the submission that your body so desperately craved. The corner of your mouth quirked up in a mocking half-smile. “Fuck yes, I want it, what do you think I was bouncing around out there for-”
His lips murmured a “Fucking Christ,” as he cut your sentence short, smashing his needy mouth against your burgeoning smirk. His arms crumbled as he finally felt the release of his skin on yours, caging you in as his forearms collapsed against the wall, hands still closed around your wrists. His biceps flexed, framing your faces as he all but devoured you in a kiss that was so wanting, so possessive- it claimed you. It ruined all kisses that came before it and would ever follow it. 
He was ruining you, and you committed the way his whole body covered yours and made you feel both safe and coveted to memory, imprinting it on your mind knowing that you would probably never feel this wanted ever again. 
Then, just as soon as he was on you, his touch lifted away. 
A needy whine escaped your lips before you could hold it back. Eddie slotted his tattooed hand into the space where your neck met your jawline, thumb caressing your skin as he smiled sweetly down at you- but his eyes were anything but sweet.
“I gotta go back out for the encore. Go take these off-” you melted into his touch as his other hand played with the buckles at the front of your top. His hand at your neck crept back, taking your chin between his thumb and the middle knuckles of his forefinger as if he were scolding a child.
“-and wait in your dressing room.”
Your eyelids were heavy, and you smirked as you opened your mouth to argue-
“And don’t fucking argue with me.”
You bit the reply into your bottom lip- you could save the brattiness for later. Just as Eddie had begun to pull away, his eyes dropped to your teeth on your lip and in half a second he was on you again.
He sucked your bottom lip into his mouth, running his tongue along the soft skin before biting down firm enough to set off your mental alarms yet soft enough that you didn’t feel any pain from it. He pulled away once more, letting your lip go with a little pop.
“Been wanting to do that all night.” Eddie said, his shit-eating grin back in full force as he winked at you and jogged back to the stage. You stayed put for a second, smiling like an idiot as you heard the roar of the crowd, imagining what Eddie must look like while he returned to the stage with lips pink and swollen from his attempt at eating you alive. No one would know why he looked out of breath and a little extra happy… but you would. 
You’d never walked as fast in your life as you did in that moment, making a beeline for your dressing room, fingers already beginning to work on the buckles at your sternum.
***
When Eddie opened the door to your dressing room about ten minutes later, the gigantic grin on his face fell instantly when he saw you lounging on the couch in the same clothes you’d been wearing during sound check, sans your oversized skull sweatshirt. Your black shorts and knit tank top still showed plenty of skin, but he had explicitly told you to take off your clothes and wait for him. You were still in the mood to brat out, apparently. 
You looked up at him from your phone, smiling sweetly with challenging eyes. “Hi.”
Eddie closed the door behind him, leaning against it as it shut. “Hi.” he mimicked, crossing his inked forearms over his chest. He stared at you silently, expectantly.
You raised an eyebrow, coyly pretending not to know what he was being so pissy about. “What?”
Eddie pushed off the door, walking towards you at a pace that was agonizingly slow. “You know what.” 
You huffed haughtily, looking back at your phone and pretending to be more interested in your screen than the man who’d had you panting up against a wall ten minutes ago. “Well that’s a little presumptuous of you, I’m not a mind reader.”
It didn’t take Eddie long to cross the expanse of your tiny dressing room, deftly sliding the phone from your hands and placing it on a low table beside the couch. “Should’ve known you weren’t listening earlier,” Eddie tsked and shook his head in disappointment. “I know you were a little distracted back there, sweetheart, but when I told you to take your clothes off, I meant it.”
You sighed as Eddie stared down at you from where he stood, towering over you as you laid back against the couch cushions. His gaze devoured you piece by piece as it roved over your wide eyes, glossy lips- your shoulders still shining from sweat after giving your all to the stage, your chest as it rose and fell with your quickening breath. 
“Well,” you purred, like a cat who knew they were the center of attention and didn’t mind it in the slightest. “You didn’t say not to put on clothes after I took the other ones off…”
As you spoke he leaned forward, placing a knee on the couch between your legs so that your heat was only inches from his thigh. His hands splayed across your rib cage, admiring the stark contrast between his ink-covered hands and your soft, cream-colored shirt. It was thin enough to see… wait, were you-?
Eddie smirked, a breathy laugh escaping through his nose as he pulled the fabric taut, confirming his suspicions that yep, you weren’t wearing a bra. 
Oblivious to Eddie’s train of thought, you continued, “...if you wanted me to just wait here for you naked then you should’ve been more specif-”
Rrrrriiiiipp!
Your jaw dropped, cold air hitting your bare breasts without warning as Eddie tore your shirt open. You squealed, your shocked voice jumping up several octaves. “Eddie!” but your eyes told a different story. You were pissed, but the anger you felt was nothing compared to how fucking hot he looked after doing something as dominant and unexpected as ripping your fucking clothes off. 
He raised his eyebrows, giving you a moment to push him away in case he had gone too far- but you didn’t. Instead, you narrowed your eyes up at him and crossed your arms over your bare chest, pressing your cleavage together the way you knew would drive him nuts. “That was fucking Gucci!” you pouted.
Eddie laughed, taking your crossed arms and shoving them up above your head over the arm of the couch as he mockingly imitated your high-pitched “‘That was fucking Gucci!’” he lowered himself over you, bringing his face to the hollow of your neck, and you heard him inhale the scent of you from your collarbone to your ear. He wrapped his lips around the underside of your ear and sucked, then bit, savoring your little moan at the sensation. His mouth met your ear as he growled, “Wouldn’t have happened if you’d just done as you were told, instead of being a little fucking brat.”
Eddie pulled back, sitting up on his knee that was still slotted between your legs as he cupped his hands around your naked breasts. He kneaded them, played with you like he was testing out a brand new toy. He addressed you without looking up into your eyes as he continued to paw at your chest. “You gonna be a good girl now and do what I tell you to?”
You raised your eyebrows, amused that he expected your submission so quickly. Smugly, you looked up at him through narrowed eyes, placing your hands behind your head like a pillow and sighed petulantly. 
“Fucking bite me.”
His eyes snapped up at you, thick with predatory disbelief at your cheek even when he had you half naked beneath you. He’d been challenged before, sure- but at this point, when he had his woman pinned down and moaning under him, he was usually the undisputed decision-maker during sex. The smile that bloomed across his lips was devilish, almost like there was a beast within him that had been kept safely under lock and key- until you’d said that. 
Eddie was on you, grabbing one breast and enveloping the nipple in a harsh suck of his lips, biting down on the little nub hard. You gasped, the sound a lewd, sharp moan that brought out a laugh in him so nefarious it gave you chills. He looked up at you with eyes alight with amusement and feral need that shook you to your core.
“Oh, baby-” he laughed, crawling up until his face hovered over yours. “-I’m gonna have some fucking fun with you.”
Taking your face in his hands, Eddie Munson kissed you like it was what he had been put on God’s green earth to do. His lips moved against yours with a beautiful mix of urgency and devotion, like you could just tell that right here, right now, there was nothing else he cared about except making sure you knew exactly how badly he wanted- needed-  to make you his. He slowly lowered the rest of his body until his pelvis was flat against yours, grinding into your clothed heat and exploiting the chink in your brat armor that was the his fucking size. 
You bucked your hips up into him, craving friction as you moaned into his mouth. Eddie chuckled, stroking your cheek with his thumb. “What’s the matter baby, you need something?” 
You pouted against him, moving a hand to reach between the two of you and palm him through his jeans, but he knocked your hand out of the way, continuing to dry hump you to insanity. You whined as he bit your pouting lip, sucking it into his mouth before his tongue slipped into yours. It explored you, tasting you as your tongue happily let him in. You felt his hand creep down your torso, giving your abused, bitten tit a little squeeze before traveling further down to the button of your shorts.
He undid the button with ease before you registered that he was taking off your clothes after he had denied you access to do the same to him. “Hey,” you panted, reaching for him, “you first, that’s not fair. I’m nearly naked and you haven’t even taken off your shirt.”
Eddie chuckled, tilting his head to the side as he feigned confusion. “Fair?” he asked, “Since when did you want to play fair?” He reached back down to your shorts, button already undone, and gently pulled down the zipper. “You were the one out there- as you said- ‘bouncing around’-” His hands raked up your thighs until they reached the hem of your shorts and slowly tugged them down as you lifted your hips slightly so he could remove them smoothly. Eddie smirked; NOW she does what I want her to do.  “-knowing full well I couldn’t do a damn thing about it… and that fucking wink-” His eyes rolled back in his head just imagining it. He groaned as he pulled your shorts from your feet and discarded them on the floor. “-what the fuck was that, huh? Trying to get a rise out of me, baby?”
You giggled, bubbly laughter floating into a breathy sigh as Eddie’s finger traced the line of your slit through your panties. “Hmmmmm, like it when you call me baby.” you hummed.
 He raised an eyebrow, “Oh you do?” His finger traveled up over the fabric, and he chuckled when you bucked up into his touch as the pad of his finger passed over your clit. That finger slipped under the elastic waistband of your panties, pulling it upwards off your skin as far as it could stretch. “You’re entirely too happy right now,” he stated, matter-of-factly. He let go of the elastic, making you jump with a breathy whimper as it hit your skin with a soft sting. “I’m switching back to sweetheart.”
You whined and he laughed as he continued to play with the elastic on your panties. He stared at them, entranced, before a wolfish grin took up residence on his face. “You like these?” he asked, and you knew where this was going right away. 
You rolled your eyes, shaking your head in disbelief. “How kind of you to ask this time.” 
The grin grew, and he took the crotch of your panties into his fist, grabbing the fabric above it with his other hand to do the same. You ground your hips against his knuckles as they brushed your pussy, already soaked and eager for any friction you could get. “Yeah, you know what,” he voiced, as if he were simply thinking out loud. “I don’t really care if you like them or not.” 
And with that, another article of clothing was ripped to shreds by Eddie Munson and his stupid, tattooed, ring-covered, sexy-as-fuck hands. 
This time you couldn’t even be offended; you were just fucking feral at this point. While he was still distracted by your panties, you quickly shoved yourself up to a kneeling position, startling him enough that he moaned into the fervent kiss that crashed into his mouth. The two of you knelt on the couch cushions, hands grabbing at fabric desperately in a quest to make your skin connect at every square inch you had. Eddie allowed you to pull his shirt over his head, and the shallow breath you had left was instantly knocked from your lungs when you took in the ink that decorated his torso. Some tattoos were old and faded almost blue, while others looked newer- song lyrics, mythical creatures, hellish images adorned his skin like a tapestry that belonged in a museum- but it was here, under your hands. All for you. You couldn’t hold yourself back from bending down a little lower, sliding your tongue up his sternum over the masterpieces scarred into his skin and licking a long, broad stripe from his chest until you reached the tip of his chin. You felt him shiver, arms tightening around you after shoving the remains of your tank top over your shoulders. You started to push him back, planning to open his pants and show him what else you could do with your tongue- but Eddie wasn’t about to let you be on top after the way you’d been acting all night. 
“Mm-mm, nope.” he mumbled, stepping off the couch.
“I’m just trying to suck your cock, baby. Please?”  You looked up at him with your best puppy-dog eyes, widening your legs as you knelt on the couch facing him, squishing your boobs together in that way that usually got you exactly what you wanted. For some reason, Eddie was immune. 
He placed his hand along your neck, thumb and forefinger squeezing just enough for him to feel your pulse. The way your eyes widened, looking up at him the same way you had when he’d shoved you up against a wall earlier- it brought a satisfied hum out of Eddie, and he loved the way he could feel your heartbeat quicken slightly. There was no hiding what you felt when his hand was wrapped around your throat. 
“You like calling me baby, sweetheart?”
You gulped. He felt it, of course, and he had to hold back a laugh- you looked so cute like this. Made him want to break you just to see what you’d be like when he picked up the pieces. 
Your eyes were blown wide, like a hunted fox with nowhere to run. “Is that okay? Can I call you baby?”
His face crumpled- god, you were adorable. Eddie smiled sympathetically, “Oh you can call me whatever you want, sweetheart-” His thumb moved up to your bottom lip, stroking gently before working it into your mouth; he groaned, head thrown back when he felt your soft, wet tongue swirl around his digit and coat it with your spit. 
“-don’t care what you’re calling me as long as you know I own your ass tonight.”
And then you moaned- oh, you fucking moaned his name around his finger in your mouth, and his cock twitched at the way it sounded. He wanted to record that, play it on loop, put it in a fucking song, hell- anything for him to be able to listen to it again and again and again. He wanted everyone to hear it, to know it was his name on your fucking tongue.
His thumb ripped from your mouth, replaced by his middle and ring finger, delving surprisingly deep into your mouth as you gagged around them. Your tongue quickly resumed its previous motions, lapping at his thick fingers and sliding over, under, around, between them. You reveled in the taste of metal as you tongued his silver rings. You gasped when he removed his fingers before, without warning, he slid them into your weeping pussy.
Your expression was beautifully obscene, eyes wide with surprise while your mouth- glistening with spit from his fingers leaving in a rush- fallen open in a silent scream. Eddie thrust his fingers up and into you repeatedly, forcing you open wider and wider with the rapid motion.
“Actually, I changed my mind,” Eddie grit into your ear, “I don’t wanna hear anything but my goddamn name leave that pretty ‘lil mouth until I’m done with you, aright?”
You were moaning, but evidently that was still not enough to deter you from being your snarky self. “Well that’s unrealistic, I’ll probably say more than just tha- ah! Oh fuck-!”
Eddie’s pace was relentless, fingers ripping through you with a vengeance as he muttered “Bratty little slut-” spearing you over and over as you sped toward the white-hot precipice that wasn’t quite release, but certainly what Eddie intended to pull out of you. 
You moaned as what felt like a dam within you suddenly gave way, flooding your inner thighs, Eddie’s hand, and the couch beneath you. Eddie smiled wide, the muscles in his arm screaming pointlessly- he wasn’t going to stop until you’d given him every last drop there was to give. 
“-yeah, not so bratty when you’re squirting all over my hand, are you baby? What, are you trying to say something? Spit it out, popstar-”
The noises tumbling from your lips were anything but coherent, Eddie knew that. He just kept grinning like a kid in a candy store as you babbled sounds that might have been his name, might have been a prayer, might have just been yes, yes, yes, Eddie, god yes! 
Whatever it was, it was music to his ears. 
Eddie looped his arms under your knees, pulling you into a sitting position with your legs wide open. Dropping to his knees, he stared at your spread pussy, glistening with the slick he’d just wrestled from you. His hands, wet with all you’d given him, grasped your thighs firmly but gently as he looked up into your eyes. It might have been the post-orgasmic haze you were experiencing, but for a second, Eddie looked at you with nothing in his eyes but care and admiration. His gaze shone like sunlight as he looked up at you, your stomach creasing from the crunch position he'd placed you in, your breasts rising and falling with each breath- the way he stared at you made you feel like an angel. 
“God, you’re fucking beautiful.” he whispered, hands squeezing your thighs affectionately. Before you could even react, his tongue was on you, lapping away at your soaked pussy. You mewled, head thrown back and spine arching as unraveled you from the inside out. He traced endless intricate shapes over your clit, your lips, your hole- thoughts flew from your brain as you let his mouth drive you fucking wild. His ministrations slowed at one point, causing you to open your eyes- you couldn’t even remember when you’d closed them- and look up at Eddie. 
Upon looking up, you were blessed with the sight of Eddie Munson, close-cut beard soaked with your slick, shirtless, pantsless, and currently pulling off his black boxers to reveal a cock that made you salivate on sight.
You let your brattiness fly out the window- there would be time for more of it later, but right now you needed that cock in one of your holes and you didn’t quite care which one. 
Eddie stroked himself leisurely, eyes boring down into yours the whole time. “Tell me what you want, babygirl.”
You spread your legs open wider for him. “Please.” you whined. 
Eddie shook his head, disappointed, sinking to his knees again. “See, this is what I knew would happen,” he murmured, sliding a finger around your clit at a torturously slow pace. “I can’t believe you got fucked stupid already and I didn’t even have to use my cock, those were just my fingers, baby.” From the slick sounds you heard from below your line of sight, you knew that he was jerking himself off as he played with your pussy. It was enough to pull a desperate moan from your throat. He licked one flat, wet stripe from your opening to your clit before murmuring against you, “Can’t even use your words and tell me what you want, sweet girl’s been fucked too dumb to make decisions, is that right?”
You found yourself nodding ‘yes’, the dirty words flying out of his mouth in rapid succession throwing your brain into overdrive. He was right; you barely had the brain capacity to think right now, much less match his attitude with snark. All you could do was stare up at him with wide eyes, waiting for whatever he planned on doing next. 
Eddie clicked his tongue, tilting his head as he looked at you pityingly. “That’s right, don’t worry baby I’ll just make all the decisions now, okay?” He rose, leaning over you as he placed a knee to your side and stroked himself, lining up his fully hard cock at your entrance. Your heartbeat quickened, excitement and anticipation building now that you knew his cock would be inside you soon. You mewled as his tip stroked your slit, up and down and up and down again… and stopping at your hole, hovering outside you. 
You looked up at him desperately, only to breathe in sharply upon seeing his devilish grin paired with coal-black lust-blown eyes. 
“Beg for it.”
You sighed so heavy it became a sob, frustrated and scrunching up your face like you were ready to throw a tantrum. 
“Are you fucking kidding me?” you whined.
“There she is.” he murmured.
If looks could kill, your glare would have sent Eddie Munson to his deathbed. He matched it with a condescending smile that spoke volumes of the power trip he was on right now. Leaning in slightly closer, he repeated himself. “Beg, sweetheart.” 
You narrowed your eyes. “No.”
Eddie shrugged, backing up just enough for his cock to leave your skin- you knew it was over from there. 
“Wait!” you cried, eyebrows drawing together desperately under his cocksure gaze. Christ you didn’t want to beg, but you might not have a choice. Eddie waited patiently, stroking his cock absentmindedly as he watched you squirm below him. 
You looked up at him, giving him your best ‘fuck me’ eyes. “Please fuck me Eddie.” Your voice was honey sweet, soft and submissive.
Eddie crouched down, sticking a finger in his mouth before he used it to play with your pussy, stroking circles around your clit and pumping it slowly in and out of you. “Aww, baby…” he crooned before narrowing his eyes. “-we both know you can do better than that.”
You groaned, back arching as your hands fisted frustratingly into the cushions. “Eddie, pleaaasse-”
“Try harder, sweetheart.”
“Fuck, Eddie you fucking prick, just fucking fuck me, please, I need your cock-”
Eddie smiled- that was good enough for him. “‘Atta girl.” he groaned deeply as he pushed his cock into your waiting hole, your thankful moan mingling with his. 
His dick was perfect, filling you deliciously and long enough to just hit that spot beneath your clit that made your nerves go berserk. You didn’t realize how loud your moaning was until Eddie shut you up by covering your mouth with his own, swallowing down every sound you made and repaying you with noises of his own. 
“God, baby- so fuckin’ tight-”
You moaned, squeezing him as his cock speared you again and again. You were so built up between your squirting earlier and Eddie’s talented tongue- you were already getting close. 
As if he could read your mind, Eddie grunted out as he continued thrusting into you, “I’m nearly there already, baby, you gonna cum with me?”
You whined, nodding ‘yes’ as he pacified your mewling with his thumb. You lapped at it lewdly, covering him with a thick layer of your spit before releasing it with a pop. Eddie brought it down to your clit, working gentle circles around your bundle of nerves as his thrusting picked up the pace. You squirmed under him, chasing your release as you listened to the filth that poured from his mouth while he fucked the living shit out of you. 
“Jesus, fuck, so tight- my sweet girl, gonna fucking ruin you. Gonna make you come undone on my cock, just a fucking mess, gonna cum so hard on my cock-”
That last thing he said seemed to jerk him back into reality- his eyes grew wide, snapped out of his high as he looked down at you. “Shit, I don’t have a condom…baby, I’m so sorry, shit, where should I-”
You reached down, raking your nails softly over his hips. “I’m on birth control.” you said, smiling calmly. You kicked yourself for being so eager; normally you would still insist on a condom even with your implant, but Eddie just did something to you. “You haven’t been fucking any random groupies, have you?”
Eddie huffed, his laughter strained by his fast-approaching orgasm. “You’re the first in a while, angel. Last I checked I was clean, but I can still pull out if you-”
“Inside.” you whispered, grasping his ass and pulling him deeper into you. “I trust you, Eddie, I want you to fill me.”
His movements stuttered, big brown eyes wide and watching you like you were a miracle unfolding underneath him. He was still for half a second before his thumb resumed its movements over your clit as he thrusted faster, harder than before.
“Oh fuck, you want me to fill you baby? You want my fucking cum?” 
His cock speared into you as deep as it could go, Eddie’s attention to your clit driving you over the edge with relentless speed. “Yes, I want it Eddie, fuck, I’m gonna-”
“Fucking take it baby, cum on that cock.”
Eddie groaned as you clamped down on him, his seed spilling inside of you while your pussy fluttered around him. You arched your back until your face was pressed into the cushions behind you, muffling your whimpering voice as you moaned his name. 
A few moments passed, the air thick with the sound of heavy breathing and the smell of sex, before Eddie slowly pulled out of your wet heat. You laid there for a moment before you felt Eddie clean his sticky spend from your thighs and ass using a tissue. 
“Normally,” he said gently, “I would use a warm washcloth to do this, but we have limited options.” 
You sat up as he finished, smiling up at him playfully. “That sounds nice,” you said, “maybe I shouldn’t have listened to you earlier, made you wait until you couldn’t take it anymore and just whisked me off to your place.” 
Eddie sat down beside you, pulling you into his lap. He looked up at you with nothing but content sweetness in his eyes, any trace of the feral dominance from earlier gone for now. “I mean, we can still do that.”
You beamed, “Really?”
Eddie scoffed, tugging you closer. “What do you mean, ‘really’? You think I need to be desperately horny to want you in my bed?” 
You felt your cheeks heat up at the mention of his bed. “I don’t know… I guess I didn’t know if you wanted this to just be a one time thing, or…” You trailed off, unsure of what Eddie’s expectations had been for what happened after.
Eddie’s eyebrows drew together, confused. “Sweetheart,” he said, his finger tracing circles on your thigh affectionately. “We can hash out details whenever you’re comfortable… but tonight? I would count myself a very lucky man if you came home with me tonight.” He touched his forehead to yours, placing a gentle kiss on the tip of your nose. “Okay?” he asked.
You looked down, suddenly shy upon hearing his honey-sweet words. You gave him a quick peck on the lips before looking him in his big brown eyes. “Okay.” you whispered. 
Your eyes stayed connected, melting you until your lips met his again, kissing him sweetly as his hands worked their way to your ass, squeezing as he sighed into your kiss.
“Alright,” he grunted, playfully slapping your thigh as a signal to stand up. “Let’s get you dressed.”
You giggled. “In what? You ripped up all my clothes!” you held up the shredded panties, shaking your head in disbelief.
Eddie shrugged, stepping into his boxers. “I didn’t rip up all of them, don’t be so dramatic.” He picked up your shorts, tossing them to you. “Just go commando with the shorts and wear your sweatshirt, no one will know.” 
You sighed, stepping over your torn Gucci tank top and retrieving your bra from where it sat neatly folded in a chair. Eddie looked over his shoulder at you as you began to put it on and gasped. 
“You did have a bra!”
You smirked, reaching behind your back for the clasp. “Yeah… I wanted to see your face when I wasn’t wearing one.” 
Eddie shook his head, smiling like an idiot as he buckled his jeans. “Unbelievable.” he chided, “Was it worth it?”
You tugged your sweatshirt over the bra, taking a few steps in Eddie’s direction until you were close enough to snake your hand around to the back of his neck and pull him down for one more kiss. When you pulled away, Eddie looked down at you entranced, blinking rapidly as if emerging from a dream. He could only describe the feeling in his chest as complete and utter euphoria. 
You grinned up at him, eyes alight with adrenaline that still lingered from your performance onstage and absolute infatuation with the man before you.
 “So worth it.”
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youthguk · 2 years ago
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Follow the White Rabbit | jjk (m)
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pairing: idol! jungkook x idol! reader
genre: smut, idols au.
words: 8.2k
summary: Jungkook never involves with other idols, valuing his reputation above everything else. That's until he learns about you. But when his attempt to get closer to you falls short because of false rumors, you're determined to make it up to him.
author’s note: all characters are 18+(!); this is a stand alone story. however, i do have some ideas for more parts, so let me know if anyone would be interested in more parts ♡
“Every adventure requires a first step.”
Jungkook was known for his pristine reputation amongst other idols. And that came with certain drawbacks. 
Being an idol meant being watched. Always. He had to learn it the hard way. But he learned his lesson long ago and now no one would ever catch Jungkook’s pretty shiny eyes darting even with the slightest interest in other groups' direction, especially girl groups. He was sick of that and decided to protect his peace by playing by the rules of the idol industry and fans, scrutinizing his every move, and craving to know more about his personal life. 
Jungkook distanced himself from everything that could disturb his peace. Surely, he is showing up to events, music shows, and year-end award shows with his group, eyes only on members and fans. He is here to do his job, and enjoy performance; he is here for music, not for drama. Jungkook is now called “heartless” and “brat” by his peers; every time some newly debuted idols approach him backstage — he politely bows back to them, not willing to maintain a conversation. Jeon Jungkook is pretty content with his reputation, they may call him “arrogant” or even “spoiled maknea”, he is not here to be liked. 
He is not here to make any new friends, he doesn’t need them, it's as simple as that. Jungkook doesn’t remember when was the last time that he even bothered to check the new groups. Well, of course, that was until the popularity of your group “Bunnies” became so big that it was just impossible for him to escape from you. 
“Hyung, what’s the deal with…what was their name…Bunnies?” Finally, Jungkook gives in and decides to refer to Namjoon who, unlike him, always keeps up with new trends and faces in their industry. “Obnoxious name for a group, by the way,” he adds. 
“Are you asking because of ____ ?” Namjoon teases his favorite maknae. 
“What? No…Who’s that?” Jungkook regrets asking as soon as the words flew out of his mouth. He is, insensibly to himself, crossing the line that he drew himself. Of course, he doesn’t care who you are, he was just curious about your group for a moment. 
“Oh, well, she’s the leader of Bunnies,” Jungkook doesn’t know you (and has no desire to get acquainted with you) and yet he can’t help but pity you. Leader of Bunnies. That must be hard for you. He chuckles at his thoughts which don’t go unnoticed by his own leader, “What’s so funny?”
“Sorry, hyung, but the name is ridiculous,” he shrugs and when met with a disapproving stare from his leader, Jungkook compliantly adds, “But hey, good for them, right? They even caught my attention. Well, it was impossible to not notice, I mean, their song was playing in every damn convenience store that I entered this past few months.”
“You should check the credits to the song.”
Jungkook doesn’t ask why and simply follows Namjoon’s suggestion. His eyes wander on his screen, gaze drawn to the same name repeated both in “Lyrics by” and “Composed by”. 
“That’s the leader…You were talking about her, ____, right?” And when Namjoon nods, Jungkook’s eyebrows are drawn together in confusion. “Why did you think I was interested because of her in particular?”
Namjoon heavily sighs, stretching his arms wearily, “Of course, our Jungkookie is all grown-up now and no one deserves his attention,” he playfully pats Jungkook’s head, knowing very well how annoying their golden maknae finds that. “She just mentioned you in one of their interviews and now it went viral, just like everything that Bunnies do.”
Yet again Jungkook cringes at the mention of your group’s name and, for some obscure reason, takes a mental note to check out that interview. 
_________
You were the oldest in your group and the most experienced one. When agreeing to debut in Bunnies you were promised by the company that you will simply be able to do what you already love the most — writing and composing songs while being able to perform. You never liked the public attention and criticism that comes with the territory, but as your producers and PR agents assured you, all that unwanted public attention will go past you. After all, you were the oldest and not the center of the group. Which was supposed to guarantee you a somewhat calm and untroubled career (as much as it was possible in this case, of course). 
“Welcome Bunnies!” The host of a variety show addresses your group excitedly. Nowadays, it was pure luck for any TV program to get your group to visit them, you were booked and busy. Literally. You don’t remember with what exact mindset you were getting yourself into this and what were you expecting from your group, but this level of success was unexpected, even for your company. 
Thanks to your introverted nature, your beloved members, who in a span of just a few months were all like little sisters to you, took most of the talking responsibility on themselves, leaving you only serious and tricky questions for discussion. 
“So, who would you call your celebrity crush or even ideal type?” The interviewer asks and all the eyes of your members fall on you, pleading for help. 
“Wow, no one has ever asked us that before!” You chuckle as the audience conformably bursts into laughter and you try to stall some more time before you come up with an appropriate and least provoking answer. “Well, I’d say it’s Jeon Jungkook sunbaenim, right?” You turn to your members, looking for support. But you know you already gave the wrong answer when you decided to respond with honesty. “He’s very talented and achieved so much, I always looked up to him, and still after our debut, there’s so much to learn from him.” You blurt it all at once out, not sure why you even went with so many details on your long-term crush on one of the most untouchable idols. You heavily exhale in relief, expecting a change of topic. 
“So, you would date him?” The interviewer decides to not give you an easy time. Surprise. 
“Well, your question was on ideal type,” you flash the audience with your elegant smile which they return with applause and you finally feel free when the next question has nothing to do with crushes and dating. 
That day you come back to your shared dorm with members, tiredly plopping on your favorite couch. 
“How bad was that, be honest,” you almost threaten Rinjea with your discerning stare. 
“It was just fine, stop it, unnie,” you are pretty sure you’ve heard that for the 10th time but it still doesn’t feel like the truth. “Plus, Jungkook is like the most unbothered and arrogant person, he probably will never even hear about this interview.” She brushes you off, again, but this time it works and you loosen up a little. 
The worst that can happen is being made fun of by your friends and that was the last thing on your mind. You scoff to yourself, were you really worried about Jeon Jungkook watching your interview? 
As time goes by, the worries vanish into thin air. Even though your secret crush is not so secret anymore, the general public discusses that with tenderness on how bold you were to confess that. 
Besides, there were no chances of you randomly bumping into Jungkook as BTS stopped performing on music shows. The only place for you to meet him is the upcoming year-end award shows, but by the time you start attending them with your group, your little awkward moment in the interview is long forgotten by you. 
However, the whole “being teased by your peers” thing happens anyway as on one of your very rare days off you find time to finally catch up with your only friend in this industry (besides your members, of course), Harin, who was not only a member of a group that debuted a year before you and a great artist but also a part-time personal provider of gossips on K-pop industry for you. 
“No, but why on earth you mentioned Jeon Jungkook out of all people!” She exclaims and you almost jump in your seat looking around you. It’s a Sunday morning; the cafe that you both decided to meet at is almost empty but you still feel unnerved mentioning any names. 
“Why not? I always liked him,” as you say that you are reminded by the disbelief on Harin’s face that you’ve never actually mentioned that to her before. “And nothing controversial about appreciating other musicians’ talent.”
“Talent my ass,” Harin scoffs, shaking her head. “You really know nothing about him, ____? ”
“I don’t understand.”
“Of course, our little naive ____,” she lets out a long sigh of pity, leaving you absolutely puzzled at this whole situation. “Let’s put it that way, he’s known for his promiscuous ways, if you know what I mean.”
“I don’t understand,” you reiterate yourself, drawing your brows together, growing angry with your friend. You never idealized your favorite artists, but this sounded more like some cheap gossip, and you couldn’t stand that. “If anything, I’ve heard the opposite about him and his members.”
“Well, that’s all a facade,” she folds her arms across her chest sensing the lack of trust. “And if I told you that I experienced that first-hand, you wouldn’t believe that either?” She snorts. 
“You’ve slept with Jungkook?” Something between a high-pitched squeal and a whisper leaves your mouth. You could’ve never imagined this conversation would lead to this. And you hate the little prickle of jealousy and disappointment from this unwanted discovery. 
“Hah, he wishes,” your friend scoffs, pure amusement lingering on her face now that you are more invested in this conversation. “He tried to get into my pants, but I totally turned him down. I mean it’s like an indicator of no self-worth if you get involved with dudes like him.” You process Harin’s words wide-eyed, all of that still sounds as if about someone else, but you can’t naively deny that. “I guess they’re just like everyone else, using their status to get to girls and then run their mouths about them, ruining poor naive girls’ reputations.”
And that was your last straw. You knew you didn’t have the right to judge other people’s personal life but if Harin’s words were true, that was terribly disappointing for you. 
“I can’t believe that… that’s atrocious,” this conversation leaves a bitter taste of disappointment on your tongue that you’re not sure will be able to get rid of any time soon. “And I’ve never even heard about it!”
“You’re lucky you know me and can count on me warning you about douchebags like him.”
_________
Jungkook doesn’t remember when exactly he started falling into that rabbit hole. First, he watched the infamous interview, chuckling to himself smugly. Next, he listened to your group’s debut mini-album, replaying with special attentiveness songs in which you participated in the creation process. 
It’s been two weeks now, and his “for you” page was flooding with you. It was almost unbearable, and Jungkook would gladly get mad at someone if he wasn’t the one to blame. Well, your songs were good, to say the least. And in every performance, his gaze was automatically searching for you. There was something about you that was exceptionally enthralling to Jungkook; maybe it was how poised you always were, carrying yourself with elegance, while your younger members were always wild and loud. They could afford to be reckless and careless, as you were taking a lot of responsibilities on yourself. 
Jungkook was suddenly intrigued by you, wondering what type of person you actually were, as you never gave in any details about yourself except for your love for music and performing. He couldn’t explain it, but he had this confidence that you two would easily get along. 
“I bet our Jungkookie knows all Bunnies’ songs by heart now,” Jimin teases him while taking a break from practicing, noticing the song that is currently on repeat in Jungkook’s headphones. 
Jungkook closes his eyes, trying to ease exhaustion from hours and hours of practice for the upcoming big performance that they’re preparing for the award show. As he immerses into the song in his headphones (which is by pure coincidence written by you), he suddenly lights up with a genius, almost cute, idea (in his opinion). What if he approaches you tomorrow backstage and says hi? It wouldn’t hurt anyone, right? He hasn’t done that since… he can’t even remember, but surely he could try to get to know you and thank you for your kind words and even profess his own new-found love for your music. He is so intrigued by that idea and thrilled with the anticipation of your reaction, that he feels a sudden rush of energy. 
Oh, he can’t wait to see. 
_________
To Jungkook’s frustration, his plan utterly fails during the first day of the award ceremony; for some reason, you are always out of his sight and when he can finally approach you — your members are right by your side. The same pattern follows the next day, and the day after that. 
Jungkook starts growing impatient with you, even though he knows it’s out of your control — you are a leader, after all, and you can’t let your group be on their own. And you are absolutely oblivious to the fact that Jungkook wants to have a tete-a-tete moment with you. At some point, he even wonders if there’s a chance that you’re deliberately avoiding him, as he can’t catch even a fleeting glance from you. Maybe you’re just shy and careful, he calms himself, and in that case, he must meet you in person and reassure you that everything is fine.
It seems that luck was in his favor this time, as your group members were asked to leave the ceremony early for the reasons unknown to him, leaving you all alone. Jungkook can only pray that all his secretive peeking at you wasn’t captured by any fan cams. And when the ceremony is coming to an end, he notices how you start leaving earlier, not waiting for the usual curtain call where everyone gets on stage and says final goodbyes to the audience. 
Maybe you were anxious about big crowds, especially now, when you were all by yourself. Oh, how Jungkook wishes he would have been able to keep you company. While you walk through the seats, Jungkook manages to steal a glance at you without the usual precautions, as everyone’s attention is on you now anyway. 
You look beautiful, as always, he thinks to himself. Something devilish in that white short dress that you are confidently rocking tonight. He could watch you and the way you elegantly carry yourself all day, attentively studying your enchanting features. Oh, how Jungkook wishes he could stare at you freely but as soon as you walk behind the stage, he forces himself to shift his attention back to the stage, nervously shaking his leg. 
After you, a couple of other idols are following your example, rushing backstage before the official closing of the ceremony and Jungkook deems that’s a perfect opportunity. He throws something about promising to return soon behind him, to his members, and races backstage. His heart frantically hammering against his chest left him wondering when was the last time that he felt so free and alive. 
_________
You enter the waiting room of your group, but as the girls had to leave earlier, you are left in solitude which you, quite frankly, don’t mind. It’s the last event of this year that you had to attend. December was insanely filled with work; you would have never imagined that this one day could have been your life. You still can’t grasp if debuting was the right decision; it was hard being a trainee and life was getting only harder and harder now. Well, this is just life and work that you chose for yourself. 
While you were caught in your thoughts, the sound of opening a door goes almost unnoticed by you. But then it is followed immediately by some coughing, almost begging for your attention. You frown at the sudden intrusion and turn around. 
There he was. Jeon Jungkook himself awkwardly standing in your group’s waiting room, nervously pulling at the back of his neck. What the hell? You have never seen him this up close, and god was he the most beautiful human being that you’ve ever seen? Easily. You can’t take your eyes off him, mesmerized by the way his in-life beauty makes you think that photos don’t do him justice by failing to capture his true beauty. 
“Hello…I guess?” he’s searching for your eyes but instead, you grant him a respectful bow, which makes him chuckle with a clear disappointed undertone to it. “No need for that, please.”
At first, when his nervousness took over him, you were caught off guard — that wasn’t aligning with all the rumors that you heard about him. Maybe this was his way to charm you? How many girls has he tricked with that slick image of shyness?
You froze at your place, perplexed by his words. Well, what is he here for then? “Sorry, Jungkook sunbaenim.” 
“Just call me Jungkook,” he heavily sighs, eyes wandering around the room. 
“You can take a seat… Jungkook,” you tentatively motion to him; the awkward silence fills the room. 
You try to suppress all your emotions. You can only hope that your stiffness comes across to him as tranquility. It took a lot of self-control, after all, it was still Jeon Jungkook in front of you. It will take some time for you to fully drift his image in your head to the one that adheres to the disappointing reality.
Jungkook scoffs, a little bit irritated with your covert indifference to him. “You weren’t this shy dropping my name in interviews,” he casually states matter-of-factly. 
Your eyes widen at his sudden passive aggression. Whatever he was expecting from you, you disappointed him. But if anything, you believe that you are the one who has a right to be angry at him after discovering frustrating details about his personal life. 
“And I truly meant that,” you habitually slightly bow your head which irritates him a little bit. Yet you still don’t understand what he’s so upset about. 
“Doesn’t seem like that,” he is still standing by the door, now confidently leaning on it. “More like just another attention-seeker, using our group’s name to promote yourself.” 
His cruel and baseless accusation strikes you painfully. 
“I’m sorry but you have no right to blame me like that,” you pause for a second, trying to catch your breath as you hear your voice cracking from despair, “and I don’t understand why you are being so mean.” 
You see Jungkook’s tensed features soften slightly, a look of concern flourishing on his face from your shaky voice. “Fine, sorry, don’t know what’s gotten into me,” his voice now calming and soothing which resembles more his angelic singing voice that you adore so much. “I was very excited to see you in person, couldn’t wait for the right moment… so I decided to not wait any longer.”
His sudden confession and change of tone leave you utterly perplexed, why would Jeon Jungkook want to meet you? If anything, it should’ve been the other way around. “Me?” You point at yourself, still baffled by his words. “Why would you…”
“I somehow became a big fan, I guess,” you quirk an eyebrow at his “somehow” in dismay, but don’t interrupt. “You are a great artist, your songs…can’t stop listening to them,” he blurts it all out at once, a shade of nervousness back in his voice.
You look at him shocked, how is he telling you all these nice words that you dreamed of telling him? The world seems unreal now. 
“I don’t know what to say…I just…thank you very much,” you bow again despite his previous plea. “And I can’t believe that you are saying this because what I said during that interview, I truly meant that. You are one of the reasons why I decided to pursue singing.” 
Professing your gratitude to Jungkook and BTS was one of your dreams and you couldn’t miss this opportunity. However, the familiar tension and awkwardness were back between you two. 
It’s clear to you now how Jungkook was trying to get rid of that, but you were too resistant to talk casually with him. Not only because of respect: whether he liked it or not, he still was your senior and it was not easy to just treat him as your equal. But as much as you tried, Harin’s words about him were getting to your head. If everything Harin’s said was true, then he definitely wasn’t the best person to get close to. You would never want to do anything that could somehow damage your group’s reputation. It wouldn’t be fair to girls. 
Of course, you don’t even assume that he would be interested in you in that way, but that wasn’t particularly your concern. You knew yourself, and you knew very well that if he tried to make a move on you, you simply couldn’t resist him. And that was scaring you the most. So the least you can do is to stop whatever he’s trying to initiate before it’s too late. 
“_____, please, I really appreciate your words but I was hoping we could drop all these formalities,” his lips are lightly curled in a smile and your heart skips a beat at that sight. 
You cast a glance at his lightened up face, his doe eyes sparkling with sincerity. Your heart aches, how could Jungkook standing in front of you be the same person who Harin warned you about? After all, maybe he is genuine with you now and has no ulterior motives.
“If it’s because of the setting,” he points around, “then we could meet in more casual circumstances,” your eyes widen in shock, anticipating his next words. “We can hang out when both of our schedules match,” he suggests innocently and you feel your heart shrinking. Harin was right. 
“You can’t be serious,” you mutter, shaking your head. “I can’t believe that.”
Jungkook looks at you worriedly, taking a step closer to you. “I don’t understand, what’s wrong?”
You chuckle at his deceiving concern, whatever role he’s playing now, he’s too good, you almost feel ashamed for accusing him of having bad intentions, but you have to set aside your naivety and face the truth. “I can’t believe I am a fan of someone like you.”
“What’s wrong, I don’t understand. You said on national TV that you liked me, and now you act like me suggesting to get to know each other is a crime,” he raises his voice, and you can clearly hear that he’s hurt. 
“And you thought it was an open invitation?” You cross your hands. Only a month ago you would give anything for a little conversation with Jungkook, and now, you were arguing with him, fully enraged. “Besides, that was before I learned about your true nature.”
“Oh…that’s interesting,” Jungkook teasingly claims, making himself comfortable while plopping on the only couch in your dressing room. “Tell me more about it,” to your surprise, he became uplifted for no particular reason, his full attention dedicated to you only. 
“I know that you…” you’re startled by his attentive gaze, eyeing you up and down. And how are you supposed to formulate why exactly you’re upset with him? “I know you unabashedly use your status to get to…to use girls and then spread misinformation that ruins their reputation,” you pause to catch a breath. “You’re insane if you think I would ever get involved with someone like you.”
To your astonishment, he starts laughing leaving you dumbfounded. Jungkook leans his head back, not able to contain the laughter. “This one is definitely entertaining.”
“What do you mean ‘this one’?”
“The nonsense that you just told me, was quite amusing. Haven’t heard that type of thing in a long time,” he reproaches you while tilting his head to the side. 
“Nothing funny about treating other people so disgracefully,” you still stand your ground. “I’ve heard it from a reliable source,” you sound ridiculous to yourself but you don’t think it would be wise to say Harin’s name. What if he is actually dangerous?  
“As a fan you surely have little faith in me” he chuckles bitterly. “I shouldn’t have come here,” he mumbles to himself, the disappointment and pain in his voice almost breaking you. He tightens his lips together, jaw clenched. You know confronting him was the right thing to do. But why does it still hurt so badly? 
“If that was your intention all along, then yes. This was a mistake. ”
————
The bitter aftertaste of meeting Jungkook doesn’t leave you even after a week. You’re torn inside, feeling both guilty for causing him pain and angry for deceiving you and other millions of fans that he’s a nice person. Of course, he didn't owe anyone anything but it still made you cry yourself to sleep for several nights. You were constantly rewinding your conversation with him before sleep, trying to hold on to every little detail in your memory.
Harin turned out to be right — not that you doubted your friend’s words for a second — but still, Jungkook’s genuine disappointment with you felt more personal than just a guy being turned down from getting laid. And it was driving you insane, making you question your decision more and more. A torturing feeling that there was some missing part to this whole story that you couldn’t get hold of.
You desperately needed to discuss it with someone; your members never found out about what happened that day, and you weren’t ready to reveal his true nature to more people. 
Fortunately, during New Year’s week off, your schedule matched with Harin’s and you decided to invite her to your dorm, making it easier to discuss everything without filtering your conversations. 
“How were your holidays, tell me all about it,” you ask, as you both sit on the floor in your room, a bunch of food and snacks presented in front of you that you barely managed to save from your younger members’ eyes. 
“Well…” Harin starts grinning happily, making you excited for the upcoming story. “Guess who actually got to kiss someone special on Midnight.”
Your eyes widen, finally, some good news to talk about! 
“Girl, good for you!” You nudge your friend teasingly. “But with whom?” 
“Seojun from XTQ1,” she squeals from excitement and you try to seem delighted to match her energy. That name doesn’t ring a bell, and you’re not sure if you have ever heard about that group either. 
“I mean, who would have thought, right?” She continues to introduce you to her love story and you were truly happy for Harin.“Only a week before that I embarrassingly tried to hit on the one and only Jeon Jungkook,” Harin chuckles as if not believing that she actually did that. 
Her little remark doesn’t catch you immediately. And when the meaning of her words finally hits you, your heart sinks to your stomach. “Wait, what?” You almost whisper, eyes reverted on your friend. 
“But everything happens for a reason, see? Seojun is such a nice guy, I’m so lucky,” Harin is quick to appease you. 
“No-no, what you said about Jungkook,” you look at her carefully, scared to hear the truth. “You said he was trying to get to hit on you. What happened to that story?”
“Oh, about that…”Harin’sbody tensed immediately at your question. You see her contemplating in her head, as she presses her lips together. “Sorry, I don’t know why I decided to blatantly lie…” She finally gives in and you're left petrified. This is exactly what’s been troubling you since meeting Jungkook in person. “I guess, my ego got bruised by his rejection so badly that I wanted to put him in a bad light,” a nervous laugh escapes her mouth.
“Harin! But how could you?” You almost scream, looking at your friend bug-eyed. “It’s not just bad-mouthing, you made it sound like it was the absolute truth…it could have caused a lot of trouble if you said that to someone else!”
“I mean, I still wasn’t that careless, right?” She forces a laugh while met with disbelief plastered on your face. “I ranted to you out of all people, because I knew you are not the one to gossip around and you are only friends with me,” she says proudly as if that makes this whole situation better. “My delusional nonsense is always safe with you,” still no hint of remorse in her voice.
Somehow, Harin finds this situation awfully funny and it only makes you even more furious. How could she be so reckless with her words? 
“Oh, come on! Don’t be so angry with me,” your friend pleads, growing impatient with the sudden mood change of your conversation that was threatening to ruin your sleepover. “No one would even believe me, everyone knows these dudes are crazy careful, and wouldn’t approach anyone even at gunpoint to not cause even a little rumor.”
Her words cut you, a wave of guilt and shame taking over you. There’s a prick of betrayal as you realize how easily you trusted your only friend in this industry. And it scares you how naturally she lied to you and how facilely you’ve let that lie take over you and hurt Jungkook’s feelings. Now his reaction was making sense to you. And it breaks your heart to know that it was your reaction to his genuine attempt to get to know you. 
________
Jungkook was no stranger to ridiculous rumors and false accusations; both he and his group members have faced that since their careers started taking off. But then you, the person who he was approaching with nothing but sincerity, blamed him for things that he never did, and his heart broke a little. Your disappointment and frustration with him were his last straw. Again, he didn’t know exactly what he was expecting from that meeting with you. Maybe just a nice conversation that could have led to a good friendship and then, maybe, to something more. 
His personal life was almost non-existent at this point. Not only for the sake of maintaining this whole clean and noble reputation. Jungkook was not very fond of one-night stands and was a hopeless romantic, waiting for his one true love. Maybe it was childish but no one could keep him from believing in that. But his relationships could never withstand the crashing waves of his insanely busy schedule and lifestyle. Not something that he could hold against his ex-girlfriends, no matter how many times anyone claimed with their whole chest to be understanding and assuring him that they knew what they were getting into, no one could be prepared for this. He understands that. 
It’s a little bit embarrassing for him to admit to himself that he might have had some hopes for you. He felt like you two could have clicked and understood each other like no one else. Maybe he just fell victim to some idea of you and now he was just feeling the same disappointment as you’ve felt when discovering the stupid rumors about him? 
What’s even worse, Jungkook got reminded, once again, that people liked talking behind his back for no reason, villainizing him at any given chance. After a week, he forced himself to go back to listening to your music. It was still reminding him about sorrowful wasted chances, but he learned to brush it off. After all, it was neither his nor your fault. You didn’t know him personally and weren’t obliged to blindly trust him. 
Just when Jungkook feels like the wound doesn’t hurt him anymore, he receives a strange notice from his manager which invokes a sudden fluttering in his stomach. 
“Her company suggested for you two to film a short collab video with their dance,” his manager stated leaving Jungkook in pure shock. “It was ridiculous how bold they were to even propose this, but then we thought it might be beneficial for everyone. Of course, you don’t need this but Bunnies are super trendy in Korea right now, so it won’t hurt you and your group in general for sure.”
“No, I’m not interested,” Jungkook is quick to answer. He knows this must be your company’s idea, desperately trying to monetize on our innocent statement regarding your ‘crush’ on him. He will spare you with his presence. 
“Right,” his manager nods understandingly. “I actually declined the offer the first time, but the second time their group’s leader, ____, got on the phone herself, convincing me to give her a chance,” the manager shakes his head, remembering your desperate attempt. 
Jungkook freezes at the last words, not believing. And trying his best to not give away his sudden rush of excitement, he’s quick to add. “I think you are right, it won’t hurt me,” and he actually means it. Whatever is the reason behind your unexpected desire to meet with him, it surely can’t make things worse at this point. “Schedule a meeting at my practice room.”
_________
You fidget on your seat while waiting for Jungkook in the practice room at Hybe’s building. Getting here made a lot of fuss, and your managers did a lot of work to get you permission to enter the building as a guest. You were almost sorry to them adding all that stress to their already heavy workload. But you didn’t see any other way for you to apologize to Jungkook. You were determined to do that in person and this excuse of filming a video seemed handy right now. Maybe he will bring an operator or a manager, it would still give you a chance to stay alone with him for some time. 
The sound of the door being closed brings you out of your thoughts and you flinch at your seat. Jungkook was standing still at the door, reminding you of your first unfortunate encounter with him. It’s fine, you think to yourself. You will do your best to apologize to him. 
You get up from your seat, nervously standing. “Hi,” you raise your hand to wave at him. “Thank you for not turning down this meeting.”
You see him scoff, lips pressed together. He’s hesitant. “I’m just slightly intrigued. Why would you want to meet up with someone like me, again?” He quirked an eyebrow at you. 
“Jungkook, I’m very sorry,” you plead, pulling the palms of your hands together. “I shouldn’t have said such stupid things to you. If I could, I’d take that back.” 
You didn’t want to mention Harin as it still was your own choice to not only believe those rumors but also accuse Jungkook of them while meeting him for the very first time. But as you watch him fold his arms across his wide chest, you start contemplating. Maybe it was still worth mentioning…
“It doesn’t make things any better but, just so you know, I’ve heard that from a very close friend, I just couldn’t imagine that she would straight up lie to me,” you blurted hoping to see any change in him. 
But he only sneers at you, nibbling at his lower lip. “Well, maybe it was all true, then what?” 
You are startled by his question but still, make a step towards him. “I know none of that is true, I’m sorry,” you try to emphasize each of your words. 
“What if some of it was true?” Jungkook makes several steps forward, reducing the distance between you two drastically.
“What do you mean? I know it’s not,” puzzled with his determination to prove you wrong, you search for his eyes. His gaze now has darkened, doe eyes filled with blazing anticipation. 
“What if I told you that your stupid and untrustworthy friend was right about one thing?” He steps forward again, your bodies suddenly at a dangerously short distance from each other. 
You sigh feeling the overflowing warmth of his body. What was he doing now? Is this some wicked way of trying to scare you off? You try to retreat, taking a step back but you almost tumble on the sofa behind you but Jungkook quickly catches you, grabbing your forearms. 
You feel the heat rushing to your cheeks, hating that it must be so obvious to him how nervous you’re. And well, almost falling on the couch (that you were very well aware of) is probably not making you look confident either. 
“Are you scared now?” He smirks, hands still on your arms even though you’re not planning to fall anymore 
“Stop asking so many questions,” you snap at him to your own surprise. “I came to apologize but now you decide to live up to my stupid accusation? This is ridiculous.” 
“Oh, look how brave you are now,” he dramatically sighs in amusement. “But I said there was one truth to your claims. Can you guess it?” He leans down to you, making it impossible for you to escape his warmth. 
“No,” you say blinking up at him, head not thinking straight anymore. “I have no idea what you’re insinuating,” you say honestly. Of course, there’s a stupid hope growing inside of you that he’s interested in you but you try to not let it get to your head. Jeon Jungkook is interested in you? It even sounds ridiculous. 
“You were right. I wanted to get to know you because I liked you,” the sharpness of his gaze cuts through the electricity filling the room. You raise your eyebrows, unable to look away from him. “Does that scare you?” His honey-laced voice is like music to your ears, how could you resist?
“No,” you are startled by the firmness in your own voice. He's taken aback by your response just as much as you are, searching for a hint of doubt in your eyes. And you know that there’s none when you feel his thumb caressing your arm; a simple gesture to which you feel your stomach tightening. 
“Really?” He raises an eyebrow at you, but you know he doesn’t need an answer anymore. “Is that because now you know that it all was only for you?” He leans closer to your face, his warm breath brushing your skin making you crave more. “That I only got my eyes on you?” He looks at you one more time, a smug grin plastered on his enthralling lips. 
You nod, biting on your lower lip, having no idea where this whole situation is leading to. “Yes.” 
Jungkook’s lips finally meet the skin of your jaw, and you let out a sigh from this long-awaited closeness. His hands fall on your hips while his lips leave a trail of kisses from your jaw to your neck. You lean your head back trying to give him more space at which he chuckles satisfied. “Good girl,” his whisper hits your neck and you feel warmth flooding your body. Your hands slide around his neck, pulling him closer as you desperately need more of him. 
Jungkook doesn’t need to be asked twice and he buries his face in your neck, leaving wet kisses making you close your eyes in pleasure. 
“Jungkook, please,” you whimper, needing to finally feel him on your lips. “Kiss me,” you beg him.
Your eyes shut open when you’re hit with coldness after his lips leave your neck. But then you are met with Jungkook’s eyes, looking at you in anticipation. You can see he’s needy just like you, licking his lower lip. 
“Come here,” he rasps and you finally feel his breath hitting your lips while his fingers dig deeper into your hips. 
You never even dared to imagine what it would be like to kiss Jungkook, but when his lips meet yours you feel an unknown sensational feeling filling every inch of your body. How is he so good? You let out a quiet moan as his soft tongue pokes out, desperately entering your mouth. 
Kissing Jungkook felt natural, so perfect, you weren’t sure you could ever get enough of that. He was taking his time exploring you, attentive to every response of your body to his actions. 
You brush your hand through his silky hair, pulling him even closer to you, needing to dive deeper into the kiss. Jungkook groans into your mouth, feeling your confident touches on him. His hands start traveling up from your hips, discovering every curve of your body. You arch your back towards his touches, hands on his chest. 
Your body tenses as you feel him beckoning you to the couch behind you, still not breaking the kiss. You are both nervous and thrilled at this. Are you really doing this with Jungkook at his workplace? You must be out of your mind, for sure. But it was hard to be your usual restrained self around Jungkook. 
When he carefully places you on the sofa, you almost whimper in despair as he breaks the kiss to stand up. But then you see him teasingly smile at you as he reaches for your shorts, sliding them down your legs, every touch of his hands with your body sends shivers down your spine. You start feeling an unbearable pulsation between your legs when Jungkook, hovering above you, studies every part of your body that’s exposed to him now. His hungry gaze traveled up and down, teeth biting down on his lips. 
He reaches for the hem of your shirt, determined to get rid of it as well. But you put your hand over his, stopping him. You’re frustrated with that as much as he is, but it’s probably the last remnant of consciousness kicking in now. 
“Next time?” He arches an eyebrow at you. Is there gonna be  next time? But you just nod, questions later. 
Jungkook seems content with the deal as his hand immediately trails down, leaving his attempt to take off your shirt. Finally, he dives back to you, your lips meeting again, in a more passionate and needy kiss, mouths melting together. When Jungkook places himself between your legs, you feel the weight of his body perfectly pressed against yours. 
“I want to feel you, Jungkook,” he catches the moan escaping your lips. You frown, angry at the clothes separating you from feeling the warmth of his skin fully. But not here, next time, you remind yourself. 
“Oh, don’t worry about that, baby,” he grants you a mischievous smile. And then his hand slides down, reaching your wetness. Jungkook’s gaze fixed on you, enjoying how your eyelids flutter closed. 
You feel Jungkook’s body shudder as he dips his fingers inside of you and you squeeze your eyes shut, groaning. “So wet, and it’s all for me, baby?” 
“Yes, for you, Jungkook,” you whine as he goes back to your neck, leaving there wet kisses as he continues to slide his fingers inside you all the way in and back out a few times, taking his time with his long strokes. You hear his raspy growl as he’s getting used to how tight and soft your pussy is.
You arch your back, rolling your hips towards him, trying to meet him and get deeper and deeper. Jungkook moves his fingers up, rubbing your clit. 
“Jungkook, I can’t,” you let out a whimper, wanting more of him, spreading your legs wider for him. 
“Oh, baby, but you can, you are perfectly made for this,” his low voice makes you shiver around his fingers. Jungkook doesn’t intend to slow down, as his fingers continue to pump you in a deep and steady pace, coming out only to swirl around your clit. 
“I want to feel you, please,” you pant lustfully. Since when you were so brave?  
You don’t expect Jungkook to obey your words immediately, but this time he doesn’t make you suffer any longer. You watch as he rises up, reaching for the backpack right next to the sofa, fumbling in the pocket. He starts to grow impatient as he can’t seemingly find what he’s looking for, which also kills you. And then he finally pulls out a condom, tearing it open with his teeth. You watch him in awe, turned on by his eagerness. 
He lowers his sweatpants and you heavily sigh as he pulls out his big and hard cock. Your heart pounders against your chest as you watch him roll the condom on. Jungkook breathes hard, and you feel his body finally back on yours. He pushes aside your panties, rubbing his tip against you and you throw your head back, not sure how you’ll be able to wait any longer for him. Your pussy throbbing as he reaches for your lips again in a kiss, only to break it again a moment later, to watch your face when he places his cock between your legs. 
He slowly enters you, watching how you let out a moan. He’s thrusting his hips steadily, and you stretch around him. Jungkook sinks deeper into you, twisting his arm around your waist. You feel your nipples harden against the fabric of your bra and curse to yourself again for not taking it off earlier. 
Jungkook frowns as he buries himself deeper and deeper into you. “Fuck, ____,” he mumbles to your ears and you spread your legs wider, letting him pull out his full length and thrust back in, stretching you. 
You gasp at the feeling of his cock filling you, rolling your hips towards him each time, craving for more and more. “Jungkook, it’s so good,” you lick his neck, trailing it with kisses while your body shivers under him. 
Jungkook starts fastening his pace and you close your eyes shut, sliding your hands down his thighs, gripping his ass, and pressing him even closer to you as he thrusts harder and rougher now. 
You feel his hand behind your back, cupping your ass to nestle in his dick deeper, you hear him panting as he quickens his thrusts, and lewd noises shamelessly filling the practice room. His cock nudges you deep inside and you cry out, pussy clenching around Jungkook as you break loose. 
“Oh, God, Jungkook!” You throw your head back, pulling Jungkook into a deep, passionate kiss as he continues to fuck you faster. 
Jungkook watches how you drown in pleasure, your body trembling under him. He pushes in and out one more time and you see how he shuts his eyes, groaning in your mouth as he stops, body shuddering. He relaxes on top of you, as you trail your hands up and down his back, both of you heavy breathing. 
You lay like that for some time more, both of you adamant to let go of each other. Why would you ever want to leave his arms when it felt so right, so perfect to be cuddled with each other? 
Jungkook places small kisses on your face and you let out jolly giggles and then reality hits you. You froze, eyes glaring at him horrified. “ What if someone heard us? Fuck, I totally forgot about that!”
You pushed him from yourself, forcing him to stand up. Jungkook watches you hurriedly put on your shorts, brushing your hair while looking at the mirror, hoping to make yourself presentable again. He drawly pulls back his sweatpants. “Come on, it’s a practice room. It has some soundproof thing to it, don’t worry.”
“Gosh, Jungkook, we didn’t even bother to put on some music,” you sigh desperately, grabbing your head, thinking back to everything that happened. 
“Well, we obviously had more important things to worry about, right?” Jungkook smirks, approaching from behind, giving you a back hug, hands firmly on your waist. 
You look at both of your reflections in the mirror and almost gasp. Who would have thought that you would end up like this? 
You have no time to rack your brain on that any longer as you hear loud raps on the door. You look back at both of you, to make sure you both look decent. Well, your hair is a mess, your cheeks are blazing red, and Jungkook is not any better. 
You stare in panic at Jungkook but he just smiles, calmly opening the door and letting in the intruder. Well, at least, it seems like the door was locked, you think to yourself as your blood runs cold realizing that you didn’t even worry about shutting the door before getting on the couch with Jungkook. 
“Are you done with the dancing video?” A man enters the room and you recognize his voice. You talked with him on the phone, begging him to let you come here. 
“Yes!” You scream, surprising both Jungkook and his manager. “I believe we are done,” you say calmly, lowering your voice. 
“Are you sure you've finished?” Jungkook looks at you innocently, and you feel your cheeks burning red again. “I’m sure we can still make better takes, don’t you think so, ____ ?” 
Oh, right. The dancing video, the reason why you came here in the first place. You almost forgot about your excuse. You breathe out in relief but then met with Jungkook’s hazed eyes and a cocky grin, you realize his question isn’t so innocent after all. 
“Yeah, you’re right. We can definitely do some more takes.”
____________ 
any feedback is highly appreciated, please let me know your thoughts <;3 
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lovelypham · 8 months ago
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☁️ ──── in which enha's hyung line are forced to reveal their relationship with their idol s/o after rumors spread about the two of them °
ღ⋆。pairing. enha's hyung line(seperate)x fem!idol!reader
warnings!:fluff, dating rumors(obv)
*:・゚✧*:・゚lee heeseung x le sserafim 6th member
read the maknae line ver here
ღ It was revealed that Enhypen, as well as other rising kpop groups were going to perform at MAMA 2023 and one of them was Le sserafim,which is the group you had the chance of debuting in
ღ you had already told heeseung about your upcoming performance at MAMA and gave him a huge spoiler about the killer dance break
ღ But in typical heeseung fashion, he was still surprised when he saw your captivating performance of your latest songs and couldn't help but send love struck eyes your way
ღ poor heeseung was too busy admiring the way you professionally switched between different dance moves, and the way you'd wink at the camera when it was your part,to notice that the camera was sneakily recording his reaction
ღ and enhypen being enhypen they decided to not alarm their eldest member and leave him to deal with dating rumors the next day.
ღ but when heeseung heard the sudden loud screams of fans he quickly looked at the big screen and saw his face on there which he quickly covered up with a tight smile and a wave
ღ After your guys' performance was done you and the other enha members clowned him for his actions towards you and how you had him "wrapped around your finger" which he denied and said he had you that way
ღ The following day korea woke up to the news of le sserafim's 6th member and enhypen's eldest member dating.
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*:・゚✧*:・゚park jongseong X newjeans 6th member
˚✧ it was known that idols from the same company always did dance challenges together whenever their groups had a new comeback
˚✧ and that was the case with you and jay
˚✧ HYBE decided to pair you with enhypen's jay who was also your dear bf in order to do a dance challenge for your newest group comeback "super shy"
˚✧ and because both you,being form NewJeans and jay,being from enhypen did a dance challenge together it obviously shook both engenes and bunnies and actually most kpop fans
˚✧ but in reality what made the short dance clip so popular is because of the heart eyes you and jay kept doing at each other in the bts video and the shy glances you'd send each other while teaching him the choreography.
˚✧ after filming the tiktok video it blew up because of the many comments suggesting you guys had something going on underneath the idol facade you both put on
˚✧ and you know what they were right because not even 2 weeks later HYBE confirmed the raging news of their two idols dating
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*:・゚✧*:・゚Park sunghoon X Ive's 7th member
˚✧ it was known that sunghoon from enhypen and wonyoung from ive were mc partners together
˚✧ and while many fans thought they looked good together because of their icy visuals it just wasn't the case
˚✧ When wonyoung had an overseas schedule in the US for a photoshoot you had to be the substitute mc for her alongside your boyfriend sunghoon
˚✧ fans noticed the fascinating chemistry between you guys and noticed how it was even better than that of sunghoon and wonyoung
˚✧ which lead to some investigation and what they turned out with is that you and sunghoon must have been friends for you guys to be so comfortable with each other
˚✧ but when they noticed the long lasting eye contact and the close approximity you guys had
˚✧ they knew you guys had to be way more than friends which lead to the fast spread of dating rumors surrounding two rising stars from two different companies
˚✧ the dating rumors got so bad that both HYBE and Starship had to reply to the rumors by confirming their artist's relationship with another idol
˚✧ and what both of you didn't expect was the immense amount of support you got from both engenes and dives
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*:・゚✧*:・゚sim jaeyun x æspa's 5th member
ღ after recent dating rumors sparked around the internet of heeseung and karina,SM ent decided to pair you with yet another member of enhypen to film the new dance challenges of both your groups
ღ and while your companies knew that you and jake were dating, the news was yet to be revealed to the fans
ღ while jake was busy admiring the way you had quickly learned the choreography to his new group comeback 'sweet venom' fans quickly took notice of his lingering stares
ღ fans even noted the way you'd laugh about anything he said like you had known him for a long time
ღ and they thought that you guys fit together perfectly
ღ So Mys and engenes made it their mission to see any possible signs that show that the two of you are dating
ღ and they didn't need to look much as the hints were hidden in plain sight , in which fans quickly noticed you and Jake's shared spotify playlist as you guys had the exact same playlist playing on a weverse live
ღ as well as the countless matching necklaces and rings he got you from prada
ღ while this was enough evidence fans thought that it might just be a coincidence as you guys were famous idols and always wore luxurious jewelry
ღ but what wasn't a coincidence was the picture you accidentally posted on your personal Instagram account,that showed you and jake laying in bed with him petting your hair and you laying on his chest
ღ even though the picture was kinda blurry and was deleted in the matter of nanoseconds some fans manged to screenshot the picture of their favorite idols in a comforting state
ღ after two days of fans demanding for an answer from both companies,SM and HYBE quickly released a statement confirming their artist's relationship and hoping that fans will be acceptable and respectful as they chose to keep their relationship private just not secretive.
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(A/N: I'm sorry this was so trashy lol😭😭 it's my first time ever writing something like this so excuse me😗
ps.if you have any constructive criticism you can give me it'll be appreciated just don't hate as this is all pure fiction and for entertainment purposes only 🌼)
dia asked me to tag her when i post this so @enmi-land here you go💓💓
˚✧
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eyeheartboobiez · 6 months ago
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-> 𝗃𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈𝖽𝖽 𝗑 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋
-> 𝗌𝗈𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗅 𝗆𝖾𝖽𝗂𝖺 𝖺𝗎!
-> 𝖺/𝗇: 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 5 𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾!! 𝗂 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗂𝗌𝗁𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗆𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗁 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗅 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗆 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗍𝗋𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗂𝗌𝗁 𝗆𝗒 𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝖻𝗋𝗎𝖼𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝖼. 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝗂 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗎 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒🫶🏿
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liked by cass.cain, rred_hood, and 4,105,018 others
@y/nforeal: GUESS WHO JUST WON A GRAMMY!!! fr tho i couldn't be more thankful for how far i've come as not only an artist, but an individual. now that award szn is over, imma take some time off from making music, because these next few months are gonna be busyyy.
again, thank you to all my friends and everyone who's stuck by my side through everything. i love yall🥹🫶 #grammys2023
View all 15,675 comments
user1: WE LOVE U TOO QUEEN
user2: what does she mean by busy tho??
⤷ user3: fr like is there a baby on the way or sumn💀
cass.cain: SO HAPPY FOR U BABES !!
⤷ y/nforeal: THX GIRLIE😘
⤷ user4: idc how delusional i look i still ship it🤷‍♀️
user5: been a fan since day one, couldn't be more proud🥹
user6: not jason liking her post...
⤷ y/nforeal: right like im confused too
⤷ user7: LMAOO she so real😭
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Grammy winner Y/N Y/LN going to court?! From ruined careers to ruined relationships, here's the rundown that led to all this. (1/10/2023 11:54 AM PT)
Since August of last year, fans have been talking nonstop about the leaked track that's been trending all over the internet. With its romantic lyrics and suggestive imagery, the song — Fantasize — made its debut surprising not only the listeners, but the artist as well.
Renowned singer Y/N Y/LN was more shocked than anyone to find that one of her unreleased songs had been spread around online. Even moreso, when the culprit behind the act was none other than rival singer, Artemis Grace.
Which begs the question: Why would Artemis care to leak Y/N'S music?
Well last summer, her ex boyfriend Jason Todd was alleged to have been in an intimate relationship with the grammy winner. Ever since paparazzi caught the two kissing outside of Y/N's Malibu home, they’ve been rumored to have been seeing each other in private.
Supporters of the singer were more than ecstatic to see the two together, and were happy to see that both stars were getting their well deserved happy ending.
Especially Jason, who had spoken up in past interviews about his ex’s abusive behavior. Stating that the redhead was “more than controlling” throughout their relationship.
Unfortunately the so-called Fantasy was short lived, when the gothamite was seen outside of a nightclub with the toxic ex. Once the news broke headlines, while fans were more than devastated, they were just as quick to come to Y/N's defence.
Regardless of the heartache, many speculate that Y/N may have used Cassandra, Jason's sister, as a bit of a rebound! In fact, the tension between the two was more than noticeable in the interview they did together with Glamour.
As usual, fans jumped to the conclusion that their collaboration is what drove Jason to like Y/N's most recent post on instagram (an action that even she was skeptical about).
Back to the present, it seems that the redhead was also caught red handed. After TMZ investigators revealed Artemis as the culprit of the crime, Y/N made the smart decision to press charges.
On account of copyright infringement, as well as causing emotional distress, the offender had been served an official notice of the legal proceedings being taken against her.
However, because she failed to appear before the judge last week, Artemis was forcibly taken in by the authorities just this morning. The embarrassing encounter with law enforcement was seen by many in the area, and spectators did not hesitate to record the interaction and post it online.
Despite all the drama, fans are overjoyed to see the ex finally being held accountable for her behavior. And who knows, maybe the tragic story between star crossed lovers will get its happy ending after all!
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end notes: so what do we think, yay or nay?
taglist: @din0o0o @cipheress-to-k-pop @bonnie-tz @phatnyash420
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wonik1ss · 4 months ago
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✦ TODDLERS AND TIARAS — ❝ ive ot6 ❞
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[ 寂しげなmoonlight 君といれば ]
synopsis • ives love for you goes unknown even to you sometimes ( ??? ) fluff < song rec : sun and moon - aespa >
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 it all started when one day during iz*one’s off days wonyoung and yujin ran into tweleve year old you
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 wonyoung paused and looked through one of the practice rooms to see you learning la vien rose’s choero
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 yujin and her cooed and then ducked when you looked over to see your choreographer walk in
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 two years later you all meet again when a meeting was held for ives creation
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 during practice you were always a few steps behind and wonyoung could tell so she always paid extra attention to you and made sure you got everything
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 while rei and liz always took you out shopping conveniently during testing seasons
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 while gaeul always helped you with your homework and yujin always stopped by your school to drop lunch she knew you already had
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 while leeseo always claimed to need to sleep in your bed cause your mattress was so soft (totally not because she felt the closest to you and felt like physical she needed to be too)
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 “leeseo I think my arms starting to get stringy..”
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 “it’s still attached stop whining !”
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 you weren’t used to the korea’s culture or idol culture of being so close since that was mostly reserved for the maknae which you weren’t since you debuted at sixteen
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 so when you started your birthday love you were very surprised to see your presents
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 “oh wonyoung got me a heavy gift”. as you opened it your eyes grew wide and your chat blew up
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 the girl had bought you three tiaras with a note ‘for our princess’. you laughed as the chat still erupted and you moved on
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 this kind of reminded of the time rei pinching your cheeks while teaching you random Japanese words.. like really weird
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 “so what did you just teach me?”. you said your hair and hers up in two buns with a ridiculous amount of glitter on your cheeks from rei’s make over
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 “smelly cheese stick”. rei said as she turned on her camera for her daily vlog. your mouth ajar.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 “do you wanna learn tomato cookie for spy poop next?”. you scratched your head while Rei resisted the urge to pinch your cheeks
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 or maybe the time when there was perfectly six seats left in your groups van but yujin and liz were fighting for who’s lap you got to sit on.. it was a suggestion from your manager who said it jokingly but they took it so seriously..
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 “no but I’m older and have stronger bones !”. yujin said as she held onto your waist very tightly.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 “but we are like twin sisters it’s only fair !”. liz held both your hands as yujin cursed and wonyoung and leeseo busted out laughing. while rei spoke up.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 “y/n said she was tired she can just sleep on my lap in the back”. you nodded and climbed over to the back while both girls just sat grumpy the whole ride home
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 oh but what about the time wonyoung and gaeul kept dragging you on stage during ott
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 wonyoungs line stared and she kissed your cheek while you smiled at a fan and at the same time gaeul decided she just needed to dance with you
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 then two minutes later gaeul was giving you a piggy back and when she just put you down wonyoung grabbed liz’s hand and beckoned you their child to take a family photo for a fan
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 you just thought nothing of it.. korea wasn’t your home and you hadn’t been an idol for a long time so maybe you didn’t know everything
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝜗𝜚 but you did know your member cherished even when they treated you like a toddler or dressed you up like a doll with tiaras and such it was all out of love for your big happy family
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writerblue275 · 1 year ago
Text
How Heartsteel would react catching their S/O singing/dancing to “Paranoia” (to their part if applicable)
Inspiration: Me being a dancing/singing/lip syncing fool every time I listen to the damn song, especially while I’m cleaning my apartment.
Genre: Headcanon
Category: FLUFF
Gender: Gender Neutral Reader
TW: Swearing
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^^(How did they get this GIF of me dancing?? 😂)
General things:
Setting the scene, let’s say it’s the first time they’re coming home after the song has released so they’re really getting your reaction to the finished song for the first time.
Ok let’s be clear, all of them would be so flattered and would love this.
Having a supportive partner means EVERYTHING TO THEM.
So even if I don’t put “it means a lot to them to catch you doing this, etc…etc…, it’s still implied.
Aphelios:
He’s had a long day in the studio working with Yone on the next album’s instrumentals after doing a debut music show, so he’s very ready to be home with you and to take it easy tonight.
Grins under his mask as he opens the door and hears “Paranoia” blasting on the Bluetooth speaker he got you for your birthday. He knows how much you love to jam to music!
Sneaks to wherever you are, not wanting to disrupt you and absolutely wanting to grab a photo he can send to Alune (after swearing her to secrecy [not that she would send the photo of you to anyone anyway! You and her are good friends too]).
Manages to get an excellent photo of you using the duster as a microphone, a smidge of dust on your cheek.
You’re so absorbed in your “performance” you don’t notice him at all.
Right after you mime the *ding ding ding* of the bell in Sett’s verse, your smart watch buzzes with a text message.
“I hate to disrupt your award-worthy performance, but what would you like for dinner? (Also you have a little dust on your cheek, cutie.)”
When you spin around and finally see him, he’s spinning his mask on his finger and giving you a sly grin, winking as you gasp in surprise and blush at being caught.
He grabs a tissue and gently wipes off your cheek before giving you a gentle kiss hello.
(I have a headcanon that he would primarily communicate to his partner using sign language)
*Signing* “I’m glad you enjoy our work, love!”
Seeing you love something he put so much effort and time into really brings him a LOT of pride and will continue to motivate him.
He helps you clean and asks you more about your thoughts on the song.
You were in the studio while he worked so you’ve heard parts of it, but you and him agreed that you shouldn’t hear the finished song until it released to the public. It was your suggestion actually. He was ready to let you listen to it early but you wanted to experience the full excitement of waiting for their debut just like everyone else.
Which he LOVED.
Ezreal:
This litTLE SHIT (said lovingly)!
Smug man #1
He will NEVER LET YOU FORGET THIS.
The SMIRK he has when he walks through the front door and hears the all-too-familiar intro to the song.
And when he hears you RAPPING along with Kayn’s part??
NO WAY is he missing this!!
He immediately makes his way to wherever you are and positions himself so he can see you without you seeing him.
Phone camera is at the ready.
Starts recording a video right before the pre-chorus begins and his part starts.
He can’t help but smile as you switch to lip syncing, clearly wanting to hear/focus on his voice.
You’ve told him many times how much you adore his singing voice.
(And he’ll never admit to anyone how much hearing you say that means to him but that’s a different story)
It takes every fiber of his being to not reveal himself while he’s recording.
He’s about two seconds from giggling.
Records through the end of the chorus before stopping the recording and immediately sending the video to the Heartsteel group chat with all the members and Alune. They all love you so he knows they’ll love seeing the video.
He puts his phone away and plans to sneak up on you. (Lmao sneak up? I mean flash.)
This man is an EXPERT at surprising you.
Flashes right behind you before the second pre-chorus starts and starts singing, bursting into laughter as you let out a surprised scream.
He gets a well deserved pillow to the face for that.
Later Yone texts you and tells you that he’s “glad you like the song enough to sing and dance to it throughout your daily tasks.”
And Aphelios hits you with the “:)”
And Ez gets another pillow to the face before bed.
Followed by a kiss because he is POUTING.
Kayn:
This SMUG motherfucker!! (Again, said lovingly!!!)
Smug man #2!!
Comes home to you cooking dinner for you and him, using the spatula as a mic.
Does THE shoulder lean against the door frame (y’all know what I mean, especially if you read romance novels) and just watches you with the biggest shit-eating smirk on his face.
That smirk only get bigger as the song ends and restarts and you don’t change it, telling him you’ve had their song on repeat for who knows how long!
If anything, you’re getting even more into it, starting to dance a little more now and adding some little ad libs while he raps.
Ex: “If you try to step to me, it’ll be the last time” You *in rhythm*: “FUCK YEAH”
He absolutely loves it.
Honestly you’re making him fall in love with you all over again.
Also gives him the idea to ask Alune if you can help make up the fan chants (although he’s sad because he knows they’ll have to be a bit more PG)
Can’t help himself as he lets out a chuckle, giving himself away in the process.
Holds his hands up peacefully as you spin around, ready to throw the spatula if needed.
“Sorry baby, I’m afraid you can’t use me for target practice.”
“God Damnit, Kayn, you know I scare easily! How long have you been home?”
“There’s a reason I stayed over here instead of startling you over there where there are a bunch more kitchen utensils you could have reacted with. And to answer your question, enough time for me to understand how much you seem to enjoy our song.”
You playfully, roll your eyes, shake your head, and smile as he comes over and wraps his arms around your waist, kissing you hello.
He’d definitely tell the guys what he saw, but he wouldn’t film or photograph you (this time 😉).
K’Sante:
I get such immaculate vibes from Heartsteel K’Sante.
Like I’m a BTS fan (woot woot ARMY) and I get very very similar energy/vibes from K’Sante and RM.
Like I do not know what it is, but I would trust K’Sante with holding/watching my drink at a club if I needed to run to the restroom. He has that sort of good energy.
I suppose it’s the…safe? energy??
Absolutely hilarious to use that word considering the batshit things they did in that movie studio.😂
But you know what I mean!
And being in a relationship with someone who has this sort of energy would be A++++.
(I know this is a bit of a tangent but I swear it’s relevant to the topic)
K’Sante’s part in “Paranoia” has that same sort of energy to it. (It’s so hard to explain what I meannnn)
And when he catches you singing and dancing along to his part, the bridge of the song, while you’re folding/putting away laundry, I think he’d watch you for a couple moments.
But only a couple.
He’d make his presence known a bit earlier
Because then I think he’d come join you! ☺️
He’d start singing with you and encourage you to keep singing with him.
He’d gently pull you a little closer to him.
And obviously the slower paced part of bridge doesn’t last forever, but even then I think he’d still dance with you once the song ramped up with you (hard to explain but think casual dancing with a partner at a club/bar).
It would be so FUN??? Such a fun sweet moment between the two of you.
He’d of course then help you fold the laundry.
“It’s only fair since I distracted you from it for a bit!”
You’d keep listening to music with him as you both get some chores done around the house.
Definitely making sure to take time for more dance breaks (duhhhh).
Sett:
(A/N: I love the entirety of “Paranoia” but something about Sett’s verse makes me absolutely FERAL!! THE LYRICS. THE VIBE. THE INSTRUMENTALS. PerFECTION! ØZI fucking nailed it.)
When I first started thinking about this, I thought that Sett would be smug guy #3.
Now I’m not quite so stuck to that idea.
Oh don’t get me wrong, he’d definitely hug you and tease you once you saw him watching you and blushed a deep red.
But they would mainly be half-hearted teases.
And internally? You know this man is melting about you and how lucky he is to have you as his partner and how much he loves you.
Sett clearly has such a soft side for the people he truly loves and cares about.
Have you seen how much he adores his Mama???
You are like the only other person who can really bring that soft side out of him.
And catching you already having the lyrics to his verse down 100% is something that would bring that out of him.
Speaking of his Mama…
Sett would absolutely take photos or videos of you.
But they’re only going to one person.
That’s right, to Mama.
We’re going to assume that his mother really likes you and you really like her. (You think this man is going to be with someone his mother doesn’t get along with? BFFR)
Though let me say I think she’d be very easy to get along with.
Like I definitely don’t think she’s the mother-in-law from hell I keep seeing stories about on TikTok.
But anyway, he just wants to show off his favorite person to his other favorite person (who also adores his favorite person).
And little do you and Sett know but that just inspired Mama to knit you a sweater that matches the beanie she made that he wore in the MV. As like a holiday present!
(I’m so sorry this one was admittedly a little self-indulgent but I think it’s so cute!)
Yone:
Oh this man.
Obviously everyone has worked extremely hard so that Heartsteel can debut. Everyone has had late nights and long days on little sleep.
But as Heartsteel’s main producer…
(Not to mention band mom!!)
Yone really had a record number of late nights at the studio.
Reworking a passage over and over and over….
And OVER
Until it’s right (or until Aphelios/Alune drag him out of the studio at 3am telling him to work on it tomorrow with fresh ears).
And he’d never tell you, but you know he’s felt really bad about all those late nights. All those nights he wasn’t with you.
Potential dates missed because of deadlines.
Not that you were angry with him or anything.
You love him and you know how much pressure he’s put on himself.
And the last thing you want to do is potentially add more pressure on him.
In fact, you and him made a routine the past couple months. Whenever he’d have to work on the weekends, you’d come over to his studio each night during the weekend and bring a movie/couple episodes of a show and takeout.
And he gladly lets you pull his attention away from work for other media and cuddles.
(I feel like in private Yone would be more cuddly than one might expect of a stoic man like him.)
But during these media breaks??
This tall man was like a damn koala the way he cuddled you (not that you were complaining).
So seeing you sing and dance to the song he produced…
Even though the production of this song meant you often went to bed alone….
Was so fucking cathartic for him.
It made him feel like every sacrifice was worth it. Just to see how happy you were to dance and sing to the song he put so much of himself into.
His expression would be so soft as he watched you.
And after you noticed him and gave him a smile, he’d come over and give you a hug, burying his face against your neck.
You are his MUSE, and don’t you forget it.
Ahh thank you for reading! This is my first bit of creative writing in over 5 years, so apologies if it’s not great!
Shout out to @coco6420 for telling me on my main account to not stop myself when I talked about being tempted to post headcanons for Arcane/Heartsteel. Well here we go. 😂
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yangbbokari · 1 year ago
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Skz making a bet on you Maknae Line pt.2
Pairing: OT8 SKZ x f!Reader
Genre, AU: angst ofc, lovers to exes!AU
Warnings: cursing, mentions of cheating, many mentions of insecurities, a little suggestive. I think that abt it
Summary: you happened to learn one day that the never really loved you and only made a bet with the other members to see if you would fall in love with them
A.N: Not proof read at all and FINALLY GOT ALL PARTS OUT YAY
Parts: Hyung line Maknae Line pt.1
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HAN JISUNG Han sat there. He was stunned to say the least. He didn’t expect you to show up nor hear what he said. It wasn’t until Chan nudged his shoulder that he let go of the breath he didn’t even know he was holding. The older boy looked at Han disappointedly.
Chan held him by the shoulder as he told him, “Are you gonna be a dumbass and sit here or are you gonna chase after y/n and hope she’ll take you back?”
After hearing that, Han finally got up to his feet as he nodded his head. “I’m gonna get y/n back be-because I don’t know what I could possibly do without her. Yeah… that’s what I’ll do.” Then he bolted out of the room to go and find you.
As he ran down the hall and almost out of the building, a particular box caught his eye. It just so happened to sit on the top of the rest of the garbage. He could tell it was yours from the way it was made and decorated. Seeing the box there on a pile of trash made him tear up. He grabbed it and held it tightly to his chest.
You were walking down the street by now. Kicking at the rocks that stood in your way. All the hard work you put into everything just for him to turn his back on you. All the tears had already been cried and dried. Now you were extremely exhausted and your only goal was to get home.
Making your way through the crowded streets, you suddenly hear your name being called. You whipped around to see a very distressed Han racing towards you. Seeing the tear streaks on his face made your heart break. In that instant, you almost forgot the hurt he caused you. But when you did remember what happened earlier, your past anger returned and you decided to walk away from him.
When he saw you turn back around and just walk away, he became panicked all over again. He chased after you until he was right behind you. As soon as he could, he grabbed your wrist and made you face him.
“Y/N!!! I understand that you’re hurt and you don’t want to talk but please just hear me out! You mean everything to me and—”
You immediately covered his mouth. He tried to take your hand off but you put another hand over his mouth.
“Let’s talk about this at home. Please?”
Han finally eased down and nodded his head. The two of you were just a couple blocks away from home anyways. So you and Han walked side by side in awkward silence(insert song, sry I had to😭). He constantly glanced between you and the floor until he gathered the courage to ask you,
“Can I… mmm… Can I at least hold your hand? I’m scared you’ll run away and you won’t listen to me. Then I’ll never see you again! You’ll break up wi—”
You grabbed his hand so he would just shut up. So he did. The rest of the way was in silence with the soft comfort of each other’s breath and presence.
When you made it home, both of you sat on the couch. Spending a couple moments in silence. Eventually, you spoke up, breaking the uncomfortableness.
“Are you not going to explain yourself?”
No answer.
“If you don’t say anything, I’m gonna go to my friend’s house. I need some time. Food’s in the fridge so warm up something for yourself to eat if you get hungry.”
No answer.
You sighed as you rose from your position, almost walking away before you felt a small and gentle touch on the tip of your small finger. A soft voice of the one you loved spoke.
“Don’t go… I’ll talk. However much you need me to. Just don’t… leave.”
The last word made you feel a pang of pain in your heart.
“It was a stupid bet we made when we were younger. Hyunjin brought it up during our debut. The first girl we found the most attractive, we would ask out no matter the circumstances. It took me a month to even get to know you and a year to get close to you. I was scared but they made me confess. So when you accepted I was so happy. Nothing matters more than you. I promise. You’re everything I could ask for so please don’t… don’t leave me. I’ll do anything you ask. Just don’t.”
As much as he tried to keep strong for you, there were tears brimming his eyes. You knew you couldn’t stay mad at him for long. And the way he confessed the truth warmed your heart. How could you leave him?
“I forgive you. I’ll just need a little time. I promise, I won’t leave you alone. I just need to take a bit of time for myself, yeah?”
Han slowly nodded his head as you pressed a kiss on his cheek.
Everything was fine though. You returned on the second day and boy did he make it up to you. In more ways than one. If you know what I mean. 😘 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEE FELIX You didn’t hear from him for a few days. It angered you. He was the one who did the wrong thing and now he just thinks he can pretend you never existed!? It’s probably for the best. You don’t know what you would do if you saw him again. Forgive him? Probably not. You’d rather jump on him and claw his face right open. Wait, let’s backtrack that. Probably just punching him in the face was enough.
It had probably been a month since Felix last contacted you, and you to him. It hurt you, you admit. But you were slowly moving on. Finding people you could actually trust in.
Well let’s just say… things did not go according to plan.
On a late night out with a couple of you girl friends, you were drinking and getting hit on. It was fun. The freedom, you mean. You weren’t held back by the restraints of a relationship.
But I guess not everything goes like what you'd expect. Because while you were drinking a margarita, in walks in, no other than, Felix. And who did he just happen to walk up to first? You. The audacity to even take this action made you give him a hard slap on the cheek.
“Hey, asshole. How’ve you been?”
Felix just held his cheek in shame. He couldn’t exactly just yell at you. It was his fault in the first place.
“Hey, y/n… I’ve been awful.”
“Good.”
You were fuming. You were not gonna let some man walk back into your life after saying such hurtful words and then ghosting you for a month. You absolutely loathed him. That wasn’t really true though. Deep down, you still loved him as much as you used to. But, you were too scared to get hurt again.
Felix was equally as irritated but you mattered more to him right now, than his petty thoughts. So he grabbed you by the hand and dragged you out of the bar, ignoring your cries and pleas.
When you were finally outside, his grip loosened but he didn’t let go. You just sighed and rolled your eyes.
"The hell do you want?" You said as you yanked your hand away and began rubbing your wrist.
"A chance to explain myself to you."
"After you ghosted me for a month? Not a chance. Get a life."
"Wait, y/n-"
"Leave me the fuck alone."
"I still want to be with you..." He nearly said breathlessy.
"Well I don't." You were fighting every fiber in you to run back to him tell him how much you love him and never let go. But you didn't want to be the dumb, naive girl, who always ran back to the same man. The same person. The one who hurt them. But you stayed there and listened.
A moment of silence was exchanged until Felix said something.
"We were just immature little fucks when everything happened. Minho made a bet with me, that if I got the number of the roundest woman I could find then he'd give me 200 bucks. I was foolish, so I took up the bet. Had it never happened, I wouldn't have gotten to know the great person you are. I never expected to love you this much, but I do."
You looked up into the night sky to prevent your tears from falling. It was stupid of you to want to run back into his arms. To feel the warmth of his smile and presence again.
“That doesn’t change anything, Felix. You still think I’m a woman who weighs too much and looks… fat. You told me yourself that you love my body. But that’s all a lie because if Minho never made that bet then you would’ve never approached me. You’re just like the rest of them, Felix. Someone who only focuses on looks and not the actual person. You’re no different than Minho. It might have been just an immature joke to you but it meant everything to me.”
“Y/n—”
“No! Don’t talk to me. I don’t want to ever see you again. You ruined me, Felix.”
Felix could do nothing but stay silent and so you walked off. The emotions were too overwhelming for you. You may not have been able to punch him in the face but you were able to express yourself. A month of no closure and now you finally got it. At first, you thought that it’d make you hurt most. But surprisingly, it felt as if you lifted a weight from your chest and now you could be yourself again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ KIM SEUNGMIN You weren’t walking for a long time before you heard another pair of shuffling feet right behind you. You began to panic. It was dumb of you to leave the house this late at night, especially in a big city like this. Your pace quickened and so did the person's behind you. Not only your pace but your breath too. Your fight-or-flight response immediately kicked in and you were definitely opting to flee.
Suddenly, the person ran up to you and grabbed your arm, yanking you back.
"Ahhhhh!!!" Your scream peirced through the night. "Get the fuck off of me! Leave me alone!" But the person only brought you close to their body and hugged you. Then, you heard the soft voice of your boyfriend. "Shh.. shh... y/n it's me. It's me, Seungmin."
You gladly hugged him and thanked him. "Oh god, thank goodness it's just you, Seungmin. I was so scared that someone was following me. That I was going to get abducted or something. Thank you, thank you, thank you." You stuttered out between shaky breaths.
Seungmin only continued to comfort you. "Shh... it's okay. I understand. You're safe now. Sorry for making you so scared, love. Shh..." He rubbed soft circles onto your back as you sobbed into his arms. "I came to find you because you didn't grab your coat and I got worried. Even when we're mad at each other, you shouldn't be out in the cold. I understand if you don't want to talk to me but please make sure you won't get hurt or sick."
It was moments like these that kept you from being mad at Seungmin. You could argue for hours but you would still be his highest concern.
With your hands still holding him to you, you whispered, “Can we just go home?” Seungmin nodded his head, still rubbing your back. “Yeah, let’s go home.” He kissed the top of your head before taking your hand and leading you back to your house.
When the two of you arrived, the once comforting silence became awkward and insufferable. You patted the sides of your arms as you stared at the ground. While Seungmin rubbed the back of his neck and looked everywhere but at you. The uncomfortable silence was eventually broken by Seungmin.
“I’m sorry for saying that. I shouldn’t have taken my stress and anger out on you when you had nothing to do with it. I should’ve talked it out with you instead and I’m so stupid for taking you for granted.”
“What about the last part, where you said… you know.”
“I said that out of anger. But it was mainly because me and a few of my friends made a bet to take out the first girl who walked through the door at that party we met at. Lo and behold, it was you. But then I really fell in love with you and I became thankful that that bet was made. Because if we never made that bet then I wouldn’t have found you, the wonderful and amazing person I love.”
You couldn’t help but tear up at his words. Seungmin didn’t get upset easily but when he did, he would argue with you for days on end. But he always came back around when he all too quickly became worried for you. That’s what made you love him.
When Seungmin didn’t get a reply from you he suddenly asked, “Are you going to break up with me now?” But then he heard your sniffles and his heart broke. He constantly kept making you cry even when he didn’t mean to.
Unexpectedly, you ran to him and hugged him. “I can’t even think of ever leaving you. I love you so much and your way with words just makes me want you even more. You know me too well, Seungie. I love you.”
He kissed the top of your head before resting his head on yours. “I love you too.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ YANG JEONGIN Jeongin waited outside the bathroom for you to come out. It wasn’t like he could go in. He’d be casted out of the restaurant for being a creep and a pervert. So he patiently waited.
Eventually, you did come out but you had washed all your makeup off. The crying left streaks of mascara running down your face so you washed it before exiting. As soon as you saw Jeongin, you turned the other way. But unfortunately for you, that way just so happened to be a wall. You sighed before turning back to him. You were being a bit dramatic but you didn’t know how else to deal with it.
Jeongin spoke up quietly. “Do you want to talk about it? We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” You slowly nodded your head in response and he held out his hand to you. You silently took it and followed him into a more quiet and private room.
“I’m sorry for walking away instead of listening to you.” You said.
“No.. no, I’m sorry. I should’ve told you earlier and this was a horrible way for you to find out about it.”
He paused to see if you had anything to say. But when he got no response, he continued.
“Umm… so I used to have a big fat crush on you…”
You giggled at that, a little surprised that he could admit it so easily.
“D-don’t laugh at me! I’m being serious!” He said out angrily. "I-I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." You said as you kept giggling. Jeongin was happy to see you smiling again so he kept going.
"When my hyungs found out they constantly teased me about it. But then the teasing turned into bets. They were betting on me to see I would ever confess or not. I told them I would but I never actually stayed true to my word. One day, they got bored with each other and came to me. They said that I should confess to you. If I succeeded they'd get me the latest Bruno Mars album and if I didn't then I'd have to give each of them 80 dollars. So we shook on it. I didn't want to lose so of course I mustered up the most courage I possibly could and asked you out. When you said yes, my whole world suddenly brightened as if this was what I was waiting for for my whole life. After I took you on a date, I told them of the success."
Your heart swelled at his words. You never knew he was so in love with you. It was almost as if the past event never happened. Now you were smiling from ear to ear as he told the story. Upon seeing your smile, Jeongin did too.
"I thought they'd stop teasing me after we got together but they never did. Calling me a simp and stuff. I'm not saying I'm not because I'm glad that I love you so much people can see it. But I hate being titled that."
Your eyes were full of affection for each other and it was clear as day. Every word that came from his mouth only reminded you of why you loved him so much. So how could you not voice it?
"Innie?" His ears perked up, indicating he was listening to you. "Have I ever told you how much I love you." He immediately pouted his bottom lip and opened his arms as an invitation. You slowly made your way over into his embrace. "Have I ever told you how much I love you too?" You chuckled as you nodded your head. You looked up at him and saw that he was still pouting. So you took it as your responsibility to kiss it away. Glad to say it worked as he laughed at you antics.
How could you ever doubt him when he loved you this much?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Taglist: @123rinu @pgnwook @mixtape-racha @hannieslovebot @lolareadsimagines @garrixer-06 @bandolls @chansbabygirlsstuff @camilagonzalex @mariteez @beccaskz @kibs-and-bits @kaitchan
@lynlyndoll @bangchansslut6 @hanniemylovelyquokka @changbinsjuicybiceps @xx-twalia-xx @bangchansprettygf @lvlnijiro @totallynotlyntv @htnw004 @shecheatedwithme @jiisungllvr @neteyamsmate4life @yoongles2025 @cosniffee @gdaymates @iilliess @tadashisdisaster @celticcountrygal @dazzlingligth @mylilliposts @troublemaker02
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anyca786 · 7 months ago
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Jimmy Kimmel Live
Y/n! Actress x Sebastian Stan (+ Chris Evans, Anthony Mackie and Paul Rudd)
A/N : Inspired by the Jimmy Kimmel Live interview during Captain America: Civil War (8years ago)
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The lights dim in the studio, and a booming voiceover fills the air. On the screen, a montage explodes – Captain America’s shield clashes with Iron Man’s repulsor blasts, Black Widow flips through the air, and heroes stand divided. The title card blazes: Captain America: Civil War.
Thunderous applause erupts as the lights return to a smiling Jimmy Kimmel. “Welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live! Tonight, we have a super-powered group joining us. Give it up for Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Paul Rudd, and the lovely Y/n!”
The five actors walk out, waving and soaking in the cheers. Jimmy throws them some playful jabs, then dives into the questions.
“Alright, let’s test your knowledge of each other. Chris has memorized all the songs of which Disney musical?”
“Frozen!” Anthony Mackie blurts out, earning laughs.
“Nope,” Chris smiles. “Anyone?”
Paul leans in, “Aladdin?”
Y/n and Sebastian speak at the same time, “Little Mermaid!”
"Yes" Jimmy confirms. The crowd roars with laughter. Chris throws his arm around Y/n.
“This is the kind of chemistry you see on screen, folks,” Paul teases.
“Well,” Chris grins, “Y/n and I might have belted out a few Little Mermaid duets in our trailers.”
"Interesting. Alright, let's move on. Paul's family name was shortened from what?" Jimmy asked.
Anthony jumps in with a goofy grin, “Rud-rud-evan-rudabar?”
The actors erupt in playful chaos, throwing out silly suggestions. Finally, Paul reveals the answer: “Rudnitsy.”
The questions keep flying. Chris nails Anthony’s debut film, and the crowd goes wild. The tension rises as Jimmy reaches Y/n.
“Alright, this might get interesting. Who is y/n's celebrity crush?”
Y/n hides her face, a playful blush creeping up her cheeks.
“Oooh, this is juicy!” Anthony leans forward.
Paul throws out a guess, “Brad Pitt?”
"Nope, try again" Jimmy says with a playful smirk on his face.
Chris and Anthony exchange knowing smirks.
Sebastian tries his luck, “Johnny Depp?”
Y/n shakes her head, even more flustered.
"Maybe I should just say it for you…" Chris teases.
"Please don't!" Y/n says blushing.
Jimmy, sensing the tension, prodded further. "Come on, Chris, spill the tea!"
Chris Evans & Anthony Mackie replied "Sebastian Stan!"
The crowd gasps, then bursts into excited cheers. Sebastian's cheeks match yours in a vibrant shade of red.
He leans towards you, a playful whisper brushing your ear. "Really?"
You nod sheepishly, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips. "We'll talk about this later," Sebastian murmurs back, a flicker of amusement in his eyes.
"Alright last question, aside from English, what other language does Sebastian speak fluently?
"Romanian!" Y/n replies immediately and the crowd erupts in whistles and applause.
As the show drew to a close, Jimmy unveiled a set of action figures – Captain America, Falcon, Winter Soldier, Ant-Man, and (your superhero name). The audience roared with approval as you held up your miniature self.
"Thank you guys for being here!" Jimmy said, extending a warm hand to all of you.
The cheers continued as you and your fellow Avengers exited the stage, the energy of the night buzzing in your veins.
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grussellsprout · 5 months ago
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Is This Where It Ends?
Authors Note: this is my first smau fic I have written or fic in general so please leave any suggestions down in the comments that I could do better on when writing and feel free to write any requests in my inbox for current or past drivers on the grid! This is probably gonna be multiple parts and is inspired by Bailey Zimmerman's "Where it ends"
Pairing: Logan "wanna be Captain America" Sergeant x mixedblackcountrysinger! reader
fc: Various pinterest girls
Trope: Childhood best friends to lovers to ex's to ?
Warnings: Logans gonna be problematically toxic sorry guys.
Background: You and 2023 F1 rookie Logan Sergeant grew up together while being neighbors and moms being best friends with each other growing up. The both of them trying to push their kids into a relationship since they were teenagers because of their own teenage dreams of becoming each others in laws. What happens when Logan and you finally give in and give it a shot falling in love however with your music sky rocketing and his racing career going not as expected. What happens when your sweet childhood best friend turned "love of your life" gets resentful of your success and taking you, your love, and support for granted
youruser
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liked by logansargeant lilymhe and 954,649 others
youruser Finally got around to making my debut album after much anticipation from y'all. American Romance is out now! featured pic of the inspiration of the album overfilled with love and admiration for the absolute love of my life.
Tagged:logansargeant
logansargeant I love you so much my cowgirl. So proud of you baby!
| youruser awww I love you too Logie Bear thank you sm honey 💕💕💕 liked by logan sargeant
user3 Anyone else feeling incredibly single after listening to her album? just me?
| user2 ALL OF US DO
| landonorris felt incredibly single mate after that listen
| user2 LANDO? damn even the album got to him
lilymhe When do I get my own song or an album @youruser ???? Thought I was the love of your life
| francisca.cgomes get in line for your own song I get one first bc I'm really the love of her life????
| youruser You both will gotta leave the best for last @francisca.cgomes @lilymhe
user7 mother is mothering again
user5 SLAY THE HOUSE DOWN Y/N
With the debut of the new album my social media was exploding and the songs were absolutely everywhere you went. I had interviews left and right on the most know late night shows, even getting to host an episode of SNL as the music guest. Even reaching the media on the paddock being a topic for everyone on the grid as it was blowing up. However it was the only thing that they were discussing with Logan, I could tell it was starting to get to him especially with the his and the team performance in Australia and it heading into the Montreal GP. I tried to make him feel as supported by me in his career as I could. I started to cancel interviews to go to every GP there was on the calendar for the season when he started to show the slightest of signs the media attention getting to him but he just kept pushing me away. No matter what I did to try and give him the support and attention I thought he needed or wanted from me. However it just never felt enough even though I was giving it my all. Showing up to all the sessions with him (attempted to be hand by hand) early in the morning and not leaving the paddock until he was done and set while giving my entire attention to him, even while he was in the garage talking to his mechanics; there I was following him around like a puppy just happy to be there. Meanwhile whenever he did seem to acknowledge my presence, his girlfriend's presence, all he could do was give me a scowl because I was in his way, or distracting the team, or something to get me away from him. We were never like this before, he was never like this before. I was starting to regret releasing the catalyst to what feels the ending of my relationship with who was my everything, who i thought was gonna be my forever.
F1gossipandwags
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F1gossipandwags Fans saw y/n l/n looking extremely shocked and confused while upset outside of a restaurant in Miami on Sunday night after Logan Sargeant’s DNF earlier that day. Reports shown while in the restaurant y/n with Sargeant she seemed to be comforting her childhood love while it was only appearing to be irritating Sargeant causing him to “flip out” and storm out of the establishment dragging the music star with him breaking off the 3 year relationship.
user43 WAIT WHAT??????
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dreamcubed · 1 year ago
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lover | mattheo riddle x reader
song; lover [taylor swift] pairing; duke!mattheo riddle x fem!baronet's daughter!reader genre; marriage of convenience, s2l, fluff, angst, hurt comfort word count; 9,1k timeline; bridgerton au (again lol) warnings; abusive parents (verbal, neglect, psychological), implied anxiety, panic attacks, near death experience (illness) summary; born into a loveless family, you had been denied the opportunity to marry for many years. that was, until, a duke noticed your situation and gave your parents an offer that they simply couldn't refuse - but would it be a love match?
suggested by @fictionisjustbetter ! (sorry this took so long)
icl mattheo is just so perfect for period aus
masterlist
"all's well that ends well to end up with you."
———————————————
Sir Vincent Malton was a baronet and nothing more. Of course, while being a low title, it was still a part of the aristocracy, which was much better than the alternative. He took his role very seriously, as his father before him had, and his father before him.
So, when the first Lady Malton of his passed during childbirth having sired not an heir, but a daughter, he had arranged for a new wife to marry ready for his first day of it being considered acceptable to be out of mourning. The second Lady Malton of his was more successful in the heir department: during her first pregnancy, she sired twins, both a boy and a girl. And then after two more girls (of separate pregnancies), she had another boy. Sir Vincent Malton then finally felt safe in the security of his baronetcy lineage.
But he never spoke to any of his six children. He left them up to the second Lady Malton, including his firstborn, who was not her blood. Where other ladies would have accepted their stepchildren as their own, Lady Daria Malton did not. As far she was concerned, Y/N was not her child and thus not her problem. But Sir Vincent was a traditional man who saw the children as the mother's business, so she kept up appearances to continue her life of comfort.
Sir Vincent didn't even bother with the marriage mart, instructing his wife to simply inform him when a suitor (with a title) proposed to any one of his daughters. And Lady Malton had - with her own eldest daughter, Samantha, when a baron asked for her hand. He was twice her age, but Lady Malton (like her husband) cared about title more than anything. Samantha was quickly married off to her new life as a baroness.
One thing Sir Vincent didn't know was that Lady Malton had never officially debuted Y/N. She brought her along to more casual soirées that other non-debutantes attended to keep up appearances, but as far as the one-and-twenty-year-old's actual debut - well, it was significantly overdue. The thing was, Y/N had received callers after such events before, but callers were received by the baronetess and not the baronet, and she quickly sent them away. Thus, the actual stage of proposal was never reached, so Lady Malton was by all technicalities following her husband's instruction.
Y/N knew that it was unfair, that her stepmother's abuse was unjust. She didn't see why she couldn't just allow someone to propose and get her out of the home: Lady Malton clearly didn't like her, so why not be rid of her?
But, she supposed, someone like Lady Malton must quite enjoy having a scapegoat around to target their frustrations at.
***
"Last year was a tremendous success by all means," Lady Malton spoke as her lady's maid attended to her corset, "To have Samantha married off in her first year as a debutante was a splendid result."
Y/N subtly rolled her eyes: Samantha was eighteen and her husband almost forty, it really shouldn't have been a permitted pairing. But, her husband was a baron, and title was all Lord & Lady Malton cared for. They couldn't choose to be fussy as the lowest titleholders of the aristocracy.
"Thus, Y/N, I do not wish you to cause any interference," she explained further, glaring at you through her reflection in the mirror, "I am bringing you along to Lady Bridgerton's birthday soirée out of necessity, as she always includes young ladies of whom have not made their debut."
You knew that: you had attended Lady Bridgerton's birthday event the year prior for the same reason.
"Rumour has it the Duke of Covenshire has returned from his travels to the Americas and will be attending tonight," she proceeded, "And it would simply be marvellous if Grace could secure him as a match in her first year as a debutante."
You glanced over at Grace, sat at the dresser as her lady's maid applied her makeup. She was putting on a remarkably brave face, but you could tell that she was nervous: she was too young to debut. After Samantha's success, Lady Malton had felt confident enough to debut Grace at only seven-and-ten. It wasn't entirely uncommon, but typically Mamas waited until their daughters were at least one year older.
Meanwhile you were one-and-twenty and still yet to have your debut. At this rate you would be a spinster before you had even entered the marriage mart.
You looked to your other side at Tia, your youngest sister at fourteen, who was more than thrilled to be allowed to attend that night. You never saw your brothers, really: Vincent (creatively named after your father) was away at Cambridge, and Henry, the youngest of the lot, was away at Eton.
"Right, is the carriage ready?" Lady Malton snapped at one of the servants, who quickly nodded.
And then with a curt bob of her head, the baronetess proceeded over to the door - a silent instruction for her daughters to follow - and they all headed to the front of Malton House, the London lodgings of the family.
***
"Lady Bridgerton! How good to see you," Lady Malton beamed at the dowager viscountess, "Such a lovely soirée."
"Why thank you, Lady Malton," the kind woman replied, "Pleased to see all your daughters could make it."
"Oh, is Samantha here already?"
"I believe Lady Halterton is over there," Lady Bridgerton vaguely pointed in a direction, "But how are all the Miss Maltons?"
"Grace is excited to make a match this year," the poor girl was pushed forward, "With any luck, she shall follow in her sister's footsteps."
"And what of the oldest Miss Malton?"
You looked up and gave Lady Bridgerton a hesitant smile.
"You know how Y/N is - still doesn't want to debut," Lady Malton sighed, "At this rate she shall be a spinster before even trying for marriage. But, we love her and support her decisions."
You scoffed internally, wanting nothing more than to blaspheme at your stepmother in that moment.
The conversation with Lady Bridgerton wrapped up and the focus then became the considering of various potential suitors. It was the first social event that you had the privilege of attending since the year prior, so you fully planned to savour the moments you were free from the house.
And then the room hushed into whispers as the door opened, it being remarkably noticeable how all the ambitious eyes of the Mamas zoned in on one particular man gracing the room with his presence.
"That's him- that's the duke!" Lady Malton whispered, mainly to Grace, but anyone close by could have heard her.
"Gosh, he's handsome," Tia mumbled to your left, "Shame I'm too young."
You kept your eyes glued on to the pale man with curly brown hair gelled somewhat neatly. His eyes were narrowed like that of a cat's, and his very presence commanded authority - yet he was polite to every hopeful Mama who approached him. Dismissive, but polite.
"Ah, Lady Bridgerton," he spoke, near enough to you for you to hear his gruff monotone voice as he bent over to kiss the dowager viscountess's hand, "Thank you for the invitation, and happy birthday."
"It is an honour you attended, your grace."
The man nodded, chatting to her for a few moments longer as the noise and bustle returned to the room, so you couldn't hear the rest of it.
"Now is our chance," your stepmother said as the duke's conversation wrapped up. She quickly sped towards him. "Your grace!"
The duke paused, and half-turned so he was fully facing your brood.
"Lady Malton, Baronetess of Catury," she curtsied, "And this is my daughter, Grace," she gestured towards the girl.
When his eyes flicked to Tia, she hurried to introduce her, but when his eyes flicked to you, she remained silent.
"And you are?" he inquired.
Your eyes widened: you were rarely spoken to, "Y/N- Miss Y/N Malton," you corrected.
"Don't pay her any mind, your grace," your stepmother quickly said, pinching you in the side as subtly as she could which made you flinch - as it always did. You didn't notice the way the duke's beady eyes followed the interaction. "She isn't a debutante."
"She looks old enough to be." He was clearly referencing the fact you obviously had a few years on Grace.
"It is her own choice."
You couldn't help the scowl that itched at your eyebrows, and the duke couldn't help but notice it.
"Would you care for a dance with Grace?"
The duke's eyes flicked over your sister again, "I have no intentions of dancing this evening- if you excuse me."
And with that, he departed, just to be ambushed by yet another Mama.
Your stepmother turned and glared at you, "You ruined Grace's chances."
"I didn't do anything," you said simply.
"You spoke. You know you're not supposed to."
"He asked me a question."
"I respond to the questions about you."
"Mama," Grace interrupted, shooting you a sympathetic look, "Is that the Earl of Kilmartin over there?"
Lady Malton's head snapped in that direction, "So it is! He has returned from India."
You couldn't be more grateful to Grace for the distraction.
***
"Saunders," the duke, Mattheo, called from his work study in Riddle Manor, his London residence. It was merely a couple hours after he had returned from Lady Bridgerton's soirée.
The secretary hurried into the office, "Yes, your grace?"
"What do you know of the Malton family?"
Saunders paused, "Sir Vincent Malton?"
Mattheo nodded.
"He is married to Dame Daria Malton and has six children. He attended Eton and Cambridge, studying history."
"And of his children?"
"Two sons and four daughters, I believe."
"And what of Miss Y/N Malton?"
The secretary immediately recognised the name, "She is the oldest, your grace. She is one-and-twenty and well-known for not having debuted yet."
Mattheo frowned, leaning back in his chair, "Is there a way in which she is different from her siblings?"
"I-" the secretary thought for a moment, "I believe she has a different mother than her younger siblings, if that's what you mean."
"Lady Malton is not her mother?"
"Well, yes and no. The current Lady Malton is not her mother, but the Lady Malton before her was. She passed in childbirth, I believe."
Mattheo hummed, "I see."
"Is that all, your grace?"
"Prepare the carriage to journey to Malton House tomorrow morning, Saunders, and locate my mother's engagement ring."
Saunders' eyes widened, but he quickly nodded, "Of course, your grace."
Nothing made Mattheo angrier than cruel parents.
***
Lady Malton and Grace were up bright and early the next day, as all debutantes and their Mamas were after a social event. They were to dress in some of their nicer but not so fancy attire ready to sit in the upstairs drawing room in await for any callers they may receive in the downstairs drawing room. You, however, stayed tucked nicely into bed until a more reasonable hour, since your stepmother certainly wouldn't want to catch sight of you until lunchtime - if then.
Still, you rose from your slumber at around eleven o'clock and called for your lady's maid, getting dressed in a simple baby blue piece that you had purchased a few years ago. You rarely got new dresses under Lady Malton's reign.
"I'll take my breakfast in here, please, Melinda," you smiled.
***
The Duke of Covenshire had been up at an exceptionally early hour, having taken a ride on his favourite stallion at sunrise, to then return to his city house and retreat to his office for a few hours accompanied by some breakfast.
He was still there at eleven o'clock.
"Your grace," Saunders began after having knocked on the door, "The carriage is ready for you."
"And the ring?" the duke inquired.
"Here," the secretary presented it, "It was still safely in the dowager duchess's bed chamber."
Mattheo had seen no point in keeping it anywhere else since that room had remained unoccupied for quite some time now.
"Excellent," he murmured, "Now, let us make haste."
***
It wasn't a long journey to Malton House, so really it was no time at all by the time that the Covenshire carriage pulled up to the smaller but still grand home. There were two or three other carriages parked outside, likely belonging to other potential suitors.
Mattheo wasn't worried: he was a duke, after all, and the Maltons were merely baronets. They would jump at the opportunity to marry a daughter off to be a duchess.
After knocking on the door, he was greeted by a short balding man with a seemingly permanently curved eyebrow.
"Here for Miss Malton?" he asked.
"Yes," Mattheo replied, although he had a feeling they weren't referring to the same one.
"Name?"
"Mattheo Riddle, Duke of Covenshire."
The butler's eyes widened, "Right this way, your grace."
Mattheo was led through the hallway into the downstairs drawing room, where Lady Malton and Grace were perched on an orange settee. On the other side of Grace sat an older gentleman, meanwhile on the settee sat across from them were two others. One of them was roughly the same age as the first, whereas the other was much younger - closer to Grace's age.
"Your grace," Lady Malton instantly said, shooting up to curtsy.
"Lady Malton," Mattheo nodded, "May I speak with Sir Vincent?"
"Yes, yes, of course," the baronetess said with widened eyes, "I'll go fetch him at once."
Typically she would have sent a servant to complete such a task, but clearly the shock had consumed her to the point she sprung into action. Once she had departed the room, Mattheo turned his eyes to Grace and the other three gentlemen who were all staring at him curiously.
"Who are you gentlemen?" he asked.
"Edward Cann, Viscount of Sancourt," one of the older gentlemen introduced.
"Gareth Warner," the other older one spoke.
Mattheo couldn't help but question the audacity of an older man to pursue the hand of such a young woman when he didn't even possess a title. Still, his eyes turned to the youngest man.
"Sir Charles Robinson, Baronet of Rackney."
"And how old are you?" his eyes were still on Charles.
"Twenty, your grace."
Mattheo hummed, that was more appropriate for Grace. Unusual for a man to seek a wife at such an age, but not unheard of.
"Lord Cann and Mr Warner," he began, and they perked up at his address, "May I ask what the devil men of your age are doing pursuing such a young woman?"
They were clearly taken aback by his blunt honesty, as were the servants littered around the room.
"I certainly will have to rethink my family's business with your estates in light of such news."
And with apologies to Grace and Mattheo, the two older gentlemen quickly vanished from the room, moments before the Lord & Lady of the house made an appearance.
"Your grace," Sir Vincent spoke, holding out his hand, which Mattheo shook, "To what do I owe the honour?"
"May we proceed to a more private location?"
"Of course, right this way."
"Your presence won't be required any longer, Sir Charles," Lady Malton said, clearly confused at the absence of the two other gentlemen.
Mattheo interrupted, "Oh, I'm sure it will, Lady Malton. I wouldn't dismiss the young gentleman."
Before she could ask what he meant, he was being led out the drawing room and to the baronet's office.
"I believe you know what I am here for," Mattheo stated simply, after declining the offer of brandy.
"I shouldn't want to get my hopes up, your grace."
"I would like your daughter's hand in marriage."
Sir Vincent nodded, "Of course, I shall dower her fairly-"
"Unnecessary. I have no use for a dowry, no matter the size."
"Oh- okay," the baronet paused, "Which daughter is this?"
Mattheo almost frowned: was Sir Vincent not aware of his daughter's status in society? Perhaps he left such matters up to his wife.
"Miss Y/N Malton."
"You're the first suitor that we have received for her."
The duke's breath hitched.
"This is such a relief - of course, we will arrange the wedding right away."
"I would like to marry her quickly," Mattheo said, "We will need to procure a special license."
Sir Vincent nodded, "Whatever you wish, your grace. It is an honour to be your father-in-law."
Mattheo turned to leave after saying his thanks, but paused and faced the baronet again, "You should definitely consider Sir Charles Robinson to marry Miss Grace Malton, he is a fine young man."
The baronet was clearly confused at such a statement, but absently nodded nonetheless.
***
You had been shocked when your father called you down to the drawing room: you couldn't remember the last time that he had requested your presence. Not that he requested your sisters' presences either, you were pretty sure your brother Vincent was the only of his children he spoke to.
"Excellent news for our family," he began, with Lady Malton looking thrilled at what she expected him to say, "Excellent news indeed."
You almost rolled your eyes, expecting that you had simply been called down to receive the announcement of Grace's engagement.
"The Duke of Covenshire has proposed."
Lady Malton stood up, "This is fabulous news! Well done, Grace."
"No," Sir Vincent silenced his wife, "Well done, Y/N."
Your head snapped up.
What?
"Whatever do you mean, Father?"
"His grace has asked for your hand in marriage," you had never seen your father so happy, "And naturally I accepted."
Lady Malton stood in absolute horror.
"I was beginning to become worried about your lack of proposals," he continued, unaware of his wife's reaction, "But clearly God was holding out in await for this massive surprise."
"But- what about Grace?" Lady Malton finally spluttered out.
"I am in the process of discussing that matter with Sir Charles Robinson, the duke recommended him himself."
You noticed the way Grace smiled to herself at that and looked abashedly to the ground. Clearly she was happy with such an arrangement - had the duke known that and so used his influence to help her?
"His grace wishes to be married quickly."
And thus, at the end of the week, you were married.
***
You had no idea what a honeymoon night was supposed to entail. Typically, a Mama would give a bride-to-be 'the talk' the night before her wedding, but Lady Malton would never do such a motherly thing for you. Thus, you were left completely clueless.
Plus, apart from the exchange of your vows, you had hardly spoken to the duke before, so you really didn't know where the evening was going to take you as you stepped out of the carriage outside Riddle Manor. You were both to spend the night in his London home before beginning the three day journey to his countryside residence the next day. It was a typical agenda for newly weds.
You were introduced to the various staff, including your new lady's maids - you now had two of them, as opposed to one - before you were both led through to the dining room. Your eyes fell on the long dining table, with the two distanced ends laid and nothing more.
You grimaced.
"Is salmon not to your tastes?" your husband asked you.
"Tis a very formal set up," you explained simply, but said nothing more as you assumed one of the seats.
"I mostly take dinner in my work study, so this will be a rare occurrence."
You ate the entire meal in silence, and then it was time to be shown your bed chambers.
"This is the duchess' chamber," he gestured to the door, "You may redecorate it however you so wish."
You hummed.
"My chamber is next door - we have an adjoining door, of course."
You said nothing.
"Are you going to enter?"
"But what of our consummation?" you asked.
Mattheo paused - he hadn't expected you to be so blunt.
"Lady Malton did not give me a talk like she was supposed to," you explained, somewhat shyly, "I do not know what is meant to happen, but I know that something must."
"Right," he said slowly, "We will consummate."
***
You lay awake in bed next to the duke the next morning, unable to get the memories of the night prior out of your head. Never would you have guessed that that was how babies were made, something that felt so heavenly, so good. But, you were also confused, many women muttered about it in fear, as if their consummation was unenjoyable.
Perhaps it differed with each man. Regardless, with Mattheo, it was completely and entirely soul-consuming, and you wished to experience it a countless number of times over.
A knock sounded on the door, "Your graces, breakfast is ready."
Mattheo was still sound asleep, "We'll take it in here," you replied.
You weren't used to having power in a household.
Also, how did the servant know you weren't in the duchess' bed chamber?
Mattheo woke up once the servants had wheeled in the breakfast selection, and once you were both loosely dressed, you began eating. It was then that he began speaking.
"Now is as good a time as any to set out the details of this marriage," he said, making you look up from your eggs, "I married you because I can't stand when parents mistreat their children."
Your heart warmed at that: he had noticed how Lady Malton treated you?
"I do not intend for love, but obviously at some point there will need to be an heir," he said, "You may have conceived last night, but it is unlikely. In the probable case that you haven't, we can wait a couple years to produce one should you so wish."
You thought over what he was saying - perhaps part of you had hoped that he had fallen in love with you at first sight, but you knew that was childish. This was a marriage of convenience.
"I only have one condition when it comes to children," you said slowly.
"Which is?"
"That you are an involved father," you said, "Like the Bridgertons are known for being."
Memories flashed through Mattheo's mind of his childhood: his father's coldness and distance all throughout the years until he returned from Cambridge a grown man. Only then did the late duke want anything to do with his son.
"I shall be involved," he said.
***
You couldn't look Mattheo in the eyes, you soon realised. He scared you, not in the way that Lady Malton had, but in a way you didn't quite understand. He made you nervous, made you unable to speak more than a few words at a time. Not that you did speak much: the entire journey to Covenshire Hall had been very much one of silence. The only sound to accompany you was the wheels and hooves against the cobbled roads.
The nights were spent in inns, in separate bed chambers.
Covenshire Hall was enormous: far bigger than the Catury estate that you had spent half your childhood on. It made sense, obviously, you were no longer a mere baronet's daughter, but a duchess.
"Your graces," the butler greeted you as you stepped out the carriage, "Welcome."
"Dantle," Mattheo replied, "Gather all the servants in the entrance hall."
"Right away, your grace."
The man disappeared inside, and you soon had entered through the same doors that he had, to be greeted by the largest entry room that you had ever seen. Symmetrical stairs curved around the walls either side of you, carpeted in plush blue velvet. The walls were decorated in a branch-design, but the once deep maroon colour had faded over time: it was evident to you that there hadn't been a lady of the house in quite a few years.
And then, quite quickly, the room filled with lines of house staff - more than you had ever seen for one household before. You were introduced to them all, including the primary housekeeper, Ms Godley. She was an older woman, with mostly grey hair that still held evidence of her brunette days, and a lightly wrinkled face that seemed more to do with the permanent pursing of her lips rather than age. Her eyebrows were ghastly thin, much like the rest of her, which could only be described as bony. She wore a pleated black dress down to her ankles, suggesting that she was in mourning.
You smiled politely at her, but she did not return it.
"I will leave you in her capable hands," your husband said to you, "She will provide a tour of the grounds."
"Where are you going?" you couldn't help but ask.
"My office."
You watched as he left, before turning back to Ms Godley.
"Where shall we begin?" you asked, attempting to be friendly.
***
You didn't like Ms Godley - not one bit. She reminded you of your stepmother, except this time you didn't even have younger siblings to provide a distraction. It was quite evident that she wasn't particularly fond of you either, although you had no idea what you could have done.
"This is the nursery," the woman said tightly, "It has been empty for some years now."
Gazing around the room of faded yellows and purples, you were cast back to when you were in your nursery, though you always got the short end of the stick when it came to beds. Nonetheless, it had been a relatively pleasant time for you, back when your sisters were too young to notice that Lady Malton treated you differently, so you would all play together as children do.
You didn't want any of your children to feel left out.
"Your grace," Ms Godley said curtly, "We don't have all day."
You sighed, exiting the room.
***
Loneliness was a familiar emotion to you, so a week of solitude in Covenshire Hall wasn't all that much of a change from your old life, other than the fact you now had servants waiting on your hand and foot. Although, you were growing quite bored: at least with the Maltons, you were always distracted by gauging your stepmother's mood.
You decided that you needed a distraction, and since the prestigious house was in desperate need of a fresh lick of paint, you landed on redecorating.
"You called for me, your grace?" Ms Godley stood before you in the duchess' office that you had taken to using regularly.
"Yes," you stood up, walking around your desk, "I have a matter to discuss with you."
It took everything in you to act courageous in front of a woman so similar to Lady Malton.
"I wish to redecorate the house," you said simply.
By some miracle, Ms Godley's lips pursed even more.
"Starting with the entrance hall - since that is the first room guests see, then-"
"No."
You paused - was she allowed to say that to you? "No?"
"No. This estate is not a part of your lineage, you have no right to tamper with it."
The amount of bravery that it had taken for you to have this conversation with her, just for her to pull a line that sounded so eerily similar to Lady Malton's.
"I am the lady of the house," you said, but it was obvious you weren't speaking as surely of yourself as moments prior.
"The dowager duchess was never permitted to redecorate either," she said, "And I imagine that the late duke would especially not want somebody as measly as a baronet's daughter interfering with his heritage."
You stood in shock for a few moments, eventually managing to splutter out, "You are excused."
Once she was gone, you finally gave in to the panic consuming you, feeling your breath beginning to dramatically labour and push against your corset. You felt trapped, suffocated, like you had your entire childhood, and you didn't like it. You had to escape.
So, you did.
You weren't running away by any means: you just needed fresh air, and the woods on the Covenshire grounds seemed perfect to hide away for a while. Just a couple days ago, you had taken a walk through them. Of course, that was on one of the paths that navigated between the trees, this time you simply started running straight ahead once you breached the tree line.
But you could only go so far when you had to hitch up your thick heavy skirts to make progress, so it wasn't long before you collapsed against a tree, your lungs pounding against your rib cage which were in turn pounding against your corset.
It was then that floods poured out of your eyes and down your cheeks, leaving a sticky, puffy trail behind.
You should have known better.
Just because you were a duchess didn't mean you suddenly had control over your own life.
You failed to notice the looming grey clouds gathering above, up until the sky thundered, and the familiar trickle of heavy rain commenced.
***
Mattheo was sat in his office, going over estate finances, when a knock sounded on the door.
"Your grace?"
He hated being interrupted during work, but still said a grumbled, "Come in."
"I am so sorry to disturb you, your grace," Dantle said, bowing his head, "But the duchess appears to be missing."
Mattheo's head shot up, "Missing, you say?"
"Ms Godley was the last one to speak to her, approximately two hours ago."
"Where has she gone?" the duke was now standing up.
Dantle appeared uncomfortable, "I do not know, your grace. Apparently she ran down into the woods."
"Ran?" Mattheo felt his blood boil, "Have you gone out to look for her?"
"No, your grace, the storm-"
"The storm?" he saw red, "The bloody storm?" He then let out a sound somewhat adjacent to a growl before pushing past Dantle out his office.
He was going to find his wife.
***
You probably had pneumonia or something at this rate, you thought to yourself. Your body was completely freezing and soaked, and your lack of cloak was becoming apparent as a massive problem in terms of your well-being. You should have gone back inside the second the rain started, but that was when you were still in the depths of your upset. It wasn't until you were too cold to move did you calm down a bit more.
To be honest, you were about ready to accept your fate.
"Y/N!" a faint cry came from nearby, and as much as you wanted to call out and alert them of your location, your voice was weak.
By some miracle, the man - your husband - managed to locate you.
"Y/N, oh, God," he blasphemed, "Are you okay? What are you doing out here?"
You couldn't even reply.
Mattheo scooped you up into his arms and began making haste back towards the mansion that you shared.
"Stay with me," he murmured at irregular intervals, right up until you felt the warmth of a fireplace hit you on the cheeks. You were in your bed chamber, you realised, upon noticing the faded floral pink wall decor.
Your skin was so numb you hardly felt your husband begin to peel off all items of your clothing, including your undergarments. Typically, you would have felt embarrassed, but you were completely spent.
As he picked you up again and carried you through to the bathroom, where a bath had been prepared, you couldn't help but curl into him.
"I ordered it be run before I went to find you," he said softly - the softest you had ever heard him speak.
The warmth of the water felt heavenly.
"What happened, darling?"
You shivered, this time not because of the cold, but because of the nickname.
"Godley," you forced out between your blue lips.
"Ms Godley? What did she do?" he asked as he began to wet your hair.
"I wan- wanted to redecorate the house," your teeth were chattering, "She said I couldn't change anything."
Mattheo said nothing.
"It's- it's the way she said it," you clarified, not wanting him to think you were a brat who had simply been told 'no', "She was so mean."
"How did she say it?" you didn't miss the edge to his voice that hadn't been there before.
"She said it would upset the- the late duke - and that- that he especially wouldn't want a measly baronet's daughter to-" you choked on re-emerging sobs, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, my love," you felt him press a kiss to your forehead, "I will handle this."
***
After you had warmed up in the bath and been wrapped up in thick clothing, Mattheo gently escorted you to one of the larger drawing rooms, where, to your horror, every single staff member of the house was gathered. Including Ms Godley.
"It has come to my attention that the duchess is not receiving the respect she deserves in this household," your husband sent an icy glare in the housekeeper's direction, "As the lady of the house, it is her right to decorate our rooms however she so pleases."
Ms Godley's lips pursed.
"The redecoration that her grace desires will commence immediately," Mattheo gave a forced smile, "Follow her every instruction. Any questions?"
"What of the late duke?" Ms Godley asked.
"What of a man of whom is dead?"
"Surely you should respect his wishes."
"How I choose to treat my father's wishes is none of your concern, Ms Godley. You are overstepping."
The old woman opened her mouth to say something, but decidedly shut it before saying, "My apologies, your grace."
"Apologise to my wife as well."
"My apologies," Ms Godley gave a stiff curtsy.
You had been glancing nervously between your husband and the housekeeper throughout the entire exchange, feeling overwhelmingly put on the spot. It was the second after Ms Godley apologised to you that your chest tightened and you erupted in a coughing fit.
"Darling?" Mattheo asked worriedly as you fell forward.
"Can't- breathe-" you choked out.
You felt a hand press to your forehead.
"She's overheating," the duke said loudly, "Help me get her to bed. And call the doctor."
Murmurs of, "Right away, your grace," came in reply.
"You're going to be okay," Mattheo said softly to you as he picked you up for the millionth time that day, "You must be."
***
The doctors concluded that you were pneumonic, which had been what everyone suspected but were too scared to say in front of you. But, you weren't an idiot, and understood what your symptoms meant.
There was a good chance that you would die.
It was dark outside: it often was when you came to from your fever dream episodes, for a few minutes of painful consciousness. You lurched up in bed, quickly producing horrific gurgling coughs and splutters, unable to stop yourself from groaning in pain in between. Tears pricked at your eyes as you placed a hand on your chest, your blurred vision just about making out the duke running in from the door between your bed chambers.
Mattheo grabbed the cloth from your bedside table and dipped it into the pot of water placed for this occasion, hurrying to press it to your burning forehead. You let out a brief sigh of relief, before you began coughing again.
He rubbed your back, "You can get through this."
You weren't sure if you could, in fact, you felt deathly, as it were. But, your husband's words gave you a sense of strength and hope, and it was all you could do but nod after the coughing subsided.
"If- if I make it," you murmured, falling back on to the pillows. Your voice was low and cracked. "Please- may we go to London?"
"Whatever for?"
"I..." you trailed off, "I would like to make friends."
And before Mattheo could question you further, you drifted back into unconsciousness and shallow breathing.
***
It was three days later, on a chilly but sunny morning, when you awoke naturally instead of being forced awake by coughs. Your breathing felt stronger, and you weren't overheating, which was the best feeling you had felt in forever.
You heard voices outside your door.
"Is she doing any better, your grace?" who you assumed to be the doctor asked.
"We were about to check," your husband's familiar voice replied.
The door opened, and you blinked a few times to clear your vision as the two men approached you.
"Mattheo," you said softly, your words still sore to speak.
"You're awake," he said simply, pressing his hand to your forehead. The physical contact comforted you.
"How do you feel?" the doctor asked.
"Better."
He raised his eyebrows, "In what way?"
"Every way."
He performed a more thorough examination, and concluded that while you likely still had a couple more days of illness, you had pushed through the worst of it and were well on your way to recovery. You were relieved to hear that, but even more relieved to finally be able to take a bath and and cleanse yourself.
"You wanted to return to London," Mattheo said simply at dinner that night, as he was taking it in your room with you.
"I said that?" you asked. You knew that it was what you wished to do, you just couldn't recall mentioning it to your husband.
He hummed, "While you were feverish."
He had been taking care of you?
"Well, yes- I wish to finally have a social circle."
"You mentioned that also."
You said nothing.
"Once you are fully returned to health, we shall make the journey," he said simply.
You couldn't help but beam, "Really?"
"Really."
"Thank you- thank you so much."
He shook his head, as if to say 'don't thank me'.
"I'm so glad you're my husband."
Mattheo chuckled, "I'll take care of you no matter what, darling."
***
Two weeks later, and the doctor had determined that you were back to being healthy and thus your convalescence was able to come to an end. It was then arranged for you and Mattheo to return to London for the remainder of the season but three days later, once you would have passed an appropriate honeymoon duration. While you were terribly excited to be able to properly socialise, you were also nervous. For one, your stepmother would be there, and for two, you weren't that experienced with the correct customs for socialising. The only comforting factor was that your husband would be there with you: a man who you held a lot of adoration for, and felt an immense amount of comfort from.
After the pneumonia episode, he hadn't distanced himself quite so much. Granted, you still hadn't engaged in your wedding night type of intimacy again yet, but you ate meals together, and frequently found yourself wandering over to his bed chamber in the night. The first time you had done it, it had been most nerve-wracking.
It had been a few days since you had snapped out of the fever dream episode, and were feeling much more energetic. Unfortunately, you had also been dealing with bouts of insomnia, which you suspected had something to do with your fear of falling asleep and re-entering the fever dream. Like usual, you found yourself up at the early hours of the morning, only the exhaustion was catching up to you and you could feel your chest tighten as hysteric panic began to set in.
Before you completely freaked out, you forced yourself up and over to the adjoining door, aiming to seek comfort from Mattheo even if the prospect of doing so petrified you. He stirred the second that you entered the room, at least it appeared like he did from what you could make out in the shadows. "Y/N?" he murmured.
You let out a sob.
"Come here," he said without hesitation and you gladly obliged, finding that you could finally drift into a slumber once in his arms.
And, thus, you went to him whenever you couldn't sleep.
But, now, you were in the carriage back to London, with your hands folded neatly in your lap and your husband sat across from you. You weren't sure why, but there was an awkward silence present.
***
Mattheo was conflicted.
He didn't know why he cared so deeply for you, why he was so willing to aid you whenever you were in need.
A strangled, screaming part of himself deep inside knew exactly why he felt how he did, but the part of him that he listened to feigned ignorance and told him it was simply expected of him to take care of his wife.
But the thing that confused him the most was the fact he felt the urge to tell you about his childhood, about his father, and about the lack of family and love he had endured. Why would he want to tell you such personal information that didn't even matter any longer, since the cause of it was dead?
Why did you make him feel this way?
"Mattheo?" he looked up at you sat opposite him. Your voice sounded small and timid.
"Yes?"
"Are you mad at me?"
He could have sworn he actually felt the searing pain of his heart breaking at that moment. He wasn't sure he was capable of being mad at you. "Of course not, why ever would you think that?"
You gave a gentle shrug, "You're quieter than normal."
"I'm often quiet." It was true: he was often regarded as a grumpy and brooding individual.
"Yes," you said tightly, "But not like this."
It stunned him how easily you could read him, but, then again, maybe he had never been close enough to anyone for them to know him. Maybe his emotions were obvious to anyone who cared enough to try and figure them out.
"Do you not wish to return to London?"
Mattheo paused for a moment. He hadn't put any thought into whether or not he wanted to go back to the capital, but initially it seemed like an obvious answer since he had always despised the season. Overbearing Mamas and their brood of debutante daughters were his idea of hell, but now he felt different. He realised that he did in fact want to go to London, not just because he was now married and off the Mamas' radar, but because you wanted to go. Mattheo was faced with the overwhelming realisation that he simply wanted to do whatever you wanted to do.
"Oh, dear, you don't, do you? We can turn around," you said quickly, making him snap out of his thoughts.
"No," he rushed to say, "We shall go to London."
"But you don't want to go."
"I do."
"But-"
"We are going, and that's final."
You opened your mouth to say something more, but decided against it, and turned your gaze to out the window.
The rest of the journey was silent.
***
"We need to discuss the rules for our time here," Mattheo said once you had settled into Riddle Manor for some dinner.
"We do?"
He hummed, "I will not be attending every social event we are invited to."
"But- people will think our marriage is rocky if you're not with me. The ton will talk, they always do."
"I said not every social event," he reminded, "I will attend some."
"You have to attend the first one," you said, "That one is the most important."
Mattheo agreed, "Of course, but from then on, it will be events here and there. You are welcome to attend alone."
You deflated a bit, but nodded your head, "Maybe we can host a ball at some point."
His eyebrows raised. Riddle Manor hadn't been the location of a ball in almost thirty years - there had been no lady of the house to host it.
"Perhaps," he replied pensively.
***
The next social event, to Mattheo's great horror, was the infamous Smythe-Smith musicale. Otherwise known as a torturous cacophony of four tone-deaf girls of whom were trusted with instruments that should have undoubtably never been allowed within five feet of them. You had heard what the quartet were like, having never attended yourself, and - honestly - you were rather excited to finally be a part of an inside joke of the ton that you had been left out of. Your husband was not nearly so enthusiastic, having attended exactly twice before, but not for a good many years.
Unfortunately, as selfish a woman as Lady Malton was, she was more than willing to sacrifice her hearing in order to secure impressive marriages for all of her (biological) daughters. So, you weren't surprised to enter the Smythe-Smith ballroom and see her stood with Grace closely by her side.
"Introducing, the Duke and Duchess of Covenshire," the man stood by the door announced, making your half-sister and stepmother quickly turn their attentions in your direction.
You squeezed Mattheo's arm tightly, to which he patted your hand and nodded when your family members approached.
"Your grace," Lady Malton gave a gentle curtsy - to Mattheo, not you, "How fares your marriage?"
It was a question that bordered on the edge of improper for polite society. "Most excellent," the duke replied coolly, making you smile to yourself.
Lady Malton gave the politest smile her sour face could muster.
"What brings you here?" Mattheo asked, trying to gauge why Lady Malton would put herself through the Smythe-Smith musicale with no daughters on the marriage mart.
"Marriage prospects, of course."
"Is Miss Grace Malton not engaged to Sir Charles?" he asked.
"Well- uh- yes."
The duke raised an eyebrow at the woman, and you must say that you were thoroughly enjoying this interaction.
"They shall be married at the end of the week," she said reluctantly, "But until the vows are complete, things can change."
That was when you realised: Lady Malton was praying on securing a last-minute proposal from someone of a higher status than Sir Charles. If it meant marrying into more wealth and more powerful connections, surely your father would agree to it.
"You should come to the wedding," Grace blurted out, "We thought you would still be in the country, so we didn't send an invitation."
You knew the real reason that you hadn't received an invitation was because Lady Malton would have taken control of all the wedding arrangements, and you were most certainly not on her invite list. But, she couldn't revoke the invitation to the duke's face and in a public setting, so she forced herself to smile and agree.
"That would be lovely," you beamed, purposefully showing as much enthusiasm as possible, simply to upset your stepmother, "Now, if you excuse us, I wish to secure front row seats."
Multiple people around you stared at you like you were insane - they just wouldn't understand your motivations.
"Trust me, front row seats are never the ones that need to be fought for here," Mattheo whispered to you as you both moved over to the rows of chairs set up.
You shrugged, "You're sitting with me whether you like it or not."
"Ah, Lady Danbury," he spoke as you came face to face with the renowned old woman sat in the very central front seat.
"Your grace," she raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
"Come to enjoy the musicale?" your husband asked, the sarcastic undertone impossible to miss - at least to you.
"But, of course," Lady Danbury smiled, "I attend every year."
You desperately wanted to enter the conversation, but you didn't know how.
"You're the eldest Miss Malton, aren't you?" she said towards you, making you freeze on the spot.
"Uh, yes - Lady Riddle now, actually."
She hummed, waving her cane around despite being sat, "Yes, Duchess of Covenshire. Quite grand, no?"
You awkwardly smiled.
The dowager countess turned her attentions back to Mattheo, "I must admit, I didn't think you would marry for quite some time, your grace."
"Nor did I," he simply replied, which for some reason, slightly hurt you. You had inconvenienced his life: you were a burden to him as a result of him being a good person.
"I fear that love does tend to have the effect of uprooting our lives," Lady Danbury said wistfully, a gentler emotion than you had ever witnessed on her from afar at the few social gatherings you had been allowed at.
Love.
"I only wish I had been so lucky as to have had it been with my husband."
You looked up in surprise. To be honest, you knew very little of the dowager countess' life: she had been a widow for as long as you had been alive, so it was hard to imagine her having a husband. All you knew was that she was widowed very young, and chose to never remarry. Part of you had assumed that it was because of how much she loved her husband, like the dowager Viscountess Bridgerton. It was clear now that you were wrong, but you knew better than to pry.
"Alas, let us enjoy this musicale," she said with a glint in her eye, "It is meant to be a joyous occasion, after all."
You knew she said it sarcastically, but, for you, this was indeed a joyous occasion. You were more than thrilled to finally be a part of London society - the ton.
Sparing a glass in Mattheo's direction, you were surprised to see that he was already looking at you.
***
The duke did not attend another social event with you for the rest of the week, but almost every night you were out. It was strange, not needing to be chaperoned as a married woman, but you quite enjoyed it.
The first two events alone you spent as a wallflower - albeit a married one - which weren't so enjoyable. But, once people realised that the Duchess of Covenshire was present at the social events, you began attracting a lot of attention from fellow ladies who aspired to be friends with someone of such a powerful status. Soon, you were mingling with the ton as if you had always done so, although your social skills were still inept. Thankfully, most were willing to overlook this due to you being a duchess.
Then, your sister's wedding came around, and it meant that you would have your second outing with your husband accompanying you. That made you more excited than you were willing to admit.
"Blue is most becoming on you," Mattheo spoke from behind you, making you jump. You hadn't heard him enter your bed chamber.
"Thank you," you replied, "I had it tailored on Tuesday."
"How much?"
You blanched - it had been quite expensive. You had felt guilty at the time, but found it difficult to say no to the Madam who had been dressing you.
"Darling, you are free to spend my money, I am simply curious," he reassured you, "My wife deserves only the best, after all."
Butterflies swarmed in your stomach. Was it normal - for you to feel this way towards your husband when it was merely a marriage of convenience? You were snapped out of your thoughts when he moved closer to you and began kissing along your neck.
"Mattheo," you murmured.
He hummed, "Shame you're already dressed," and then he reluctantly pulled back, "But, we must depart now anyway."
That was the first hint you had received that he wanted to repeat the intimacies of your consummation. And it made your skin feel hot and prickly.
***
Your half-sister was a gorgeous bride: her elegant dress matching her eye colour and making her glistening smile seem bright. It was obvious that she was elated to be with Sir Charles, the incredibly young baronet who hung off her every word. One could only describe it as a love match.
"Thank you," you said to Mattheo, who was stood next to you as you applauded the newly weds.
"For what?"
"For recommending Sir Charles - and for marrying me."
He chuckled, "There is no need to thank me, darling. I can hardly complain about having a breath-taking wife, can I?"
Yet again, butterflies, and the overwhelming sense of desire.
Soon, it was time for the first dance of the newly married couple, celebrated back at Sir Charles' London residence. After they danced the first number alone, more couples joined the dance floor for a waltz. You couldn't help but look up at your husband hopefully.
He sighed fondly and held out his hand, "My lady?"
"My lord," you murmured, taking his hand and allowing him to lead you on to the dance floor.
As you moved into position, you found yourself avoiding looking at Mattheo's face, as for some reason it scared you. Maybe it was the proximity, or the emotions you had been consistently feeling for the last few days. Regardless, you felt timid.
"Darling?" your stomach flipped, and you were forced to meet his eyes.
"Yes?"
"I prefer it when you look at me," Mattheo muttered before he could stop the words from tumbling out. Momentarily, he froze, unable to ignore the way his heart burned in his chest.
"Okay," you said breathlessly, now not being able to tear your eyes away from him.
"You're so perfect."
A lump formed in your throat, "No one's perfect."
"Perfect for me," he said so quietly you almost didn't hear, just as the dance came to an end.
You stood in silence for a few moments, unable to process his words.
Eventually, you spoke, "Mattheo, I- I..."
The look in his eyes beckoned you on.
"Heaven knows I know nothing of love nor what it's like to be loved, but- but I think I love you."
His expression was unreadable, and you felt as if you had said the wrong thing, right up until, "I think I love you too."
God, why were tears pricking in your eyes?
No one had ever said that to you before.
And then you shoved yourself into his arms, desperately seeking warmth and affection as if it were your life line. The other people at the wedding and propriety be damned.
Mattheo moved his head to whisper in your ear.
"All's well that ends well to end up with you."
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masterlist
written; 09/08/2023 —> 04/10/2023 published;05/10/2023 edited; —/—/——
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