#as happy as it is its still a little sad bc they arent friends anymore rip

[violenthunted]

if anyone is struggling on dumblr rp right now i think i found the secret ingredients.

first, you gotta force yourself to block the people you dislike, the ones you follow out of obligation because they're "popular" / the friends of your friends who are not and don't want to be your friends / the ones who don't spark joy or have iffy vibes. your dash is your responsibility. it's like a garden & you have to take care of it. dumblr will not be your happy place if it's filled with people you dislike / don't care about / people who ignore you on the daily. believe me, you'll be so much happier with them out of the way, even if at first you feel like your corner is small.

second, you have to take the first step. go like people's posts. comment stupid shit. follow first. barge in their dms. who cares. pretend it's facebook, we're in 2010, and everyone is still publishing "i just ate an avocado" as it happens. dumblr isn't just about writing. regardless of how shitty the interface is, it still is a social medium. cause yeah sometimes life kicks your ass and you don't have time to write. and that's okay!! that's why we have plotting and pinterest and discord and spotify. but to do all that you have to establish contact, and sadly everyone's a scared potato who doesn't know how to do it and / or doesn't know how not to be awkward while doing it. so just try!! see how it goes. whoever's on the other side of the screen will either cry from happiness or reveal themselves to not b worthy of ur time. no matter the option, its a win on ur part.

and lil third, unofficial advice : internet friends aren't always real friends. idc that they told you "ILYYYYYY <3333" a thousand times. people say shit they don't mean and don't care how it might influence you. protect yourself. internet drama is fake and doesn't matter. if u feel like u can't take a step away to go touch some grass for a lil while because you're addicted to reloading the dash, you need to force yourself to do it until its easy as breathing. cause internet "friends" will drop you the second you are not needed anymore, and u need to b strong enough to endure that. u can't rely entirely on dumblr to provide for ur social happiness. its not sustainable and it's gonna fuck you up bc. well. relationships on the internet are not as solid as they seem, no matter what we believe. its already hard having irl friends you can see face to face.

if someone on the internet shows you who they are by not doing right by you : trust them. it's not irl. people arent saying shit without thinking. yes internet relationships can be as strong and fulfilling and incredible as irl relationships but they're also more prone to fakeness, fragility and other shortcomings. with dumblr, other people have the opportunity to type on their little keyboards. to wait. to erase. they're choosing to spend time with you, or choosing not to, in a way that is much more evident than irl. (cause the effort to reply to a discord message is tiny compared to the effort of having to meet somewhere, for instance. and internet friendships solely rely on that act of communication) they're choosing to prioritise you, or not. they don't have to face you whenever they do something shitty. whatever anguish & sadness they bring you, they're not worth it.

just look out for yourself out there, okay? be kind, be nice, be patient, and take a step away once in a while to remind yourself out of all the people on the internet, the most important is always gonna b you. cause you're the one who'll have to face your real life once the screen gets shut

[yuukei-yikes]

now that u mention it i kinda wish we knew more of ayataka. like is their canon dynamic even strong enough to be GIRL BESTFRIENDS!! or are we really just left with yeah theyre friends

ermmm well. yeah id say its strong enough to be like YIPPEE GIRL BEST FRIENDS but like, BARELY...

all of ayano&takane's interactions onscreen are

1. their first meeting at the festival

2. takane offscreen organizing a party for ayano and taking her to the gaming event (where she was gonna take haruka too anyway but he was busy). this is all sort of offscreen because its from haruka's pov. takane still calls to ask if shintaro had remembered ayanos bday and if he had gotten her a present (he hadn't) so even if this one is definitely really sweet, its sad that its not explored bc its not their pov and also haruka and shintaro end up being there anyway. here is also where takane mentions her and ayano are like "penpals", at least until ayano finishes her school year and entered their same school. basically to say they kept in contact after the festival and it made them close to a point where takane was organizing a party for her so.. id say they are best friends :3

3. their talk on aug15 abt supplementary lessons and then about well. haruka and shintaro (attacks them both with hammers) GET OUTTA HERE

4. this one might not count because it wasn't ayano, but takane thought it was. it's from when kano is playing ayano at school. i don't like this moment because the talk is basically takane talking and talking and talking about HARUKA and then asks ayano(kano) if she has a crush on anyone. this is such bullshit lmao and kano is also so mean to her on his pov. he's like takane wont shut the fuck up abt haruka and also she looks surprised im making ayano say she doesnt like anyone bc she probably thought id say shintaro. like he's so mean abt it lol mostly probably to make a point of how much kano hated posing as ayano but still. im really annoyed how its written anyway. just takane talking abt haruka exclusively then asking who does ayano have a crush on like GOD who wrote this (side eye)

5. the email ene sends to ayano saying they will save her

...And i dont think im forgetting any!

i think the strongest moment to be able to say YES of course theyre best friends is the whole gaming event/birthday party bit from over the dimension. i think its so sweet takane organizes ayano a party and even if annoying its cute that she checks if shintaro bought her a present bc she knew it was gonna make her happy. takane mentions ayano was acting a little :( abt no hbd from shintaro and takane felt bad for her lol which is why she calls haruka to check if shintaro remembered. like... the boys are still very involved and stuff and takane was gonna also take haruka to the event she takes ayano but. we can still count it as a good one👍

i was thinking abt this yesterday actually because im like. what kinda relationship do they have post str that is outside of the shintaro bullshit and it pisses me off bc its difficult to work around it when canon doesn't help much.

i think once ayano and shintaro's little circus is over (and soon also shintaro and takane's) takane is super delighted that her relationship with ayano can go beyond what she can do for her and her relationship. i think she probably noticed that her and ayano were almost exclusively spoke for and about shintaro being a jerk and his wellbeing and etc.

maybe ayano is also a lot like omg tell me stuff abt your relationship with haruka :3 like trying to gossip and takanes like man we arent 16 anymore we got a lot more other shit to talk abt right?? and ayanos like 😇NO IF I DONT FOCUS ALL MY TURMOIL ON MY STUPID LOVE LIFE I WILL BREAKDOWN SO HARD AND I DONT WANT TO <- in the inside. in the outside says aww but im curious if youve kissed haruka already :3 shintaro already sat 5cm closer to me than last time👍👏 and takanes like man this sucks. like now that she's older and all this shit's happened takane realises how silly it feels and is relieved when ayano and shintaro separate and ayano starts being more normal LOL

i think like mekatrio and even haruka, takane is a lot like hey. ur like not. OKAY. im here if u need me etcetc but i think ayano was still not in a position of opening up and much less to her since takane's all like 🤞 with shintaro. i think in the quartet haruka's the one she opens up to i answered an ask like that a little bit ago hehe haruaya BESTFRIENDS but with takane, ayano sees a lot of things in between and can't bring herself to cross the line. like not only how shintaro may prefer takane as a gf (wrong ayano is just insane) but takane prefers shintaro as a best friend?? ayano just overthinks so much lol. so its kind of a weird one until both of their respective messy relationships with shintaro get sorted out at least!! after that i think they're both relieved to be able to just be friends and hang out without making it into a therapy session abt relationships or reassurements abt IM NOT gonna date ur lame ass boyfriend . yknow. qjdnwkdjwk ayano admitting to takane she is jealous and takane being all aauuuggghhhh WHYYYYYY!!! ayano is very thankful that takane sticks by her side even after the ridiculous dynamic they went through

anyways. i also wish we got more exploration of their friendship bc its like WHAT is there. we know they were close but its just mentioned so we have no idea what the dynamic is like or what the hell they talked about other than boys. its pathetic

[honeypirate]

What’s a Carnival w/o a Kiss?

Nishinoya, Tendou, Kuroo, and Bokuto visit you at your kissing booth.

Fem reader

Choose your character ending!!

Your best friends name is Mina bc I’m watching MHA and needed a name.

Not edited.

When they approved your VBC kissing booth you were shocked. You thought for sure it would be denied but apparently they thought it would be fun. “What’s the harm in a kiss?” The principle had said while following it up by stating if anyone was truly uncomfortable they didn't have to participate, it was the person’s choice to participate in the kissing booth.

You spent the day preparing the booth and painting it for the carnival tomorrow. You were nervous about it even though the kissing booth was your idea. You only suggested it becasue you thought it would be a great way to raise money since everyone on the girls and boys teams were well know. Plus you thought you could get out of it. nope, if your best friend Mina was participating there was no way she would let you out of it since she knew if you were really uncomfortable with it you wouldnt have thought of the idea yourself. “Too bad so sad” she said while you poured. The girls team would be the ones in the booth Saturday morning and the boys in the booth in the afternoon. Your time was scheduled for noon and youd be in there for fifteen minutes.

You werent just nervous because you had to kiss people, but what if no one wanted to kiss you? What if the entire fifteen minutes you had no one would show up? Just lines and lines for Mina who was right after you. You would feel so embarrassed and it might wreck your self esteem. You sigh and wipe off a bit of paint where you spilled and fixed your other mistakes.

“This looks amazing y/n!” (Noya/tendou/kuroo/Bo) said as he came over to you and you laughed softly “really? Thanks. It isnt hard though it’s just two colors” he laughs and picks up the paint brush with red on the end and placed a bit on your nose and you gasp, your cheeks flushing “doesnt mean you arent good at it!” he says and you smile softly. Somehow just his presence seemed to calm you down “thank you” you said softly and he nods with a grin. you take the white and paint a stripe down his cheek and then giggle as he gasps in shock.

Somehow in the paint fight ended up with him holding your hands above your head and painting doodles on your face while you chuckled and stared up at him. He was so pretty, you didnt get much time to appreciate his looks but you thanked whatever gods were above for this chance

“Hey! Save it for the booth!” His Coach calls out and you feel your face flush as he just laughs above you and rolls off you “sorry coach!” he replies and you avoid eye contact, too embarrassed for being caught goofing off.

“The booth is going to be amazing tomorrow” he says and helps you wash your brushes. “I hope so” you whisper softly, your anxieties coming back. When you’re done you walk him to the gym door so he can head to practice “Hey” he says softly and you look up at him “i’ll see you at the booth tomorrow, okay?” he says with a grin and it makes your stomach flop and your heart race. Your cheeks feel warm as you smile back at him “i’ll-” you clear your throat so you can sound more confident and then grin “i’ll be looking forward to it”

You couldnt sleep, nervous for the kissing booth but now you were nervous because you knew at least ONE person would be there in your line. You didnt even care if you had no other people who wanted to kiss you because you knew your crush was going to be there. At least you hoped that was what he meant.

That morning you made sure you wore your favorite outfit and put on a little perfume, you did your hair your favorite way so you could have more confidence in yourself and at the end of getting ready you felt actually really good about yourself. You looked in the mirror and smiled, maybe today would be the day you would kiss your crush.

Mina shaked your shoulders and squealed “are you ready?!” she said and pushed you towards the booth you had been abiding all day a long “nooooo” is his you respond and she just laughs. “Time to switch!” she sings and your Captain laughs at the boos that Mina get and she waves “sorry boys” she says and pats your shoulder as she exits the booth “good luck” she says and you smile and swallow hard. “Now it’s time for y/n!” Mina sings and you walk through the booth, pausing for a moment when you hear whistles and cheers which was the opposite of what you were expecting. You take a seat on the stool and feel your cheeks flush as the first boy steps up and hands you a red ticket and then presses his lips to yours for a second.

After five minutes kissing didnt even feel like kissing anymore. You lost count of the people who wanted to kiss you but after a few more minutes the line ends and you get a break. You look at your phone to check how much time you have left. 4 minutes to go. You felt your heart begin to shrink when you thought he wouldn’t come. You were distracted by a text from Mina you didnt notice someone approaching until he spoke.

Nishinoya

“Is this booth open?” he asks with a chuckle and your eyes snap up as a smile spreads across your lips “i thought you werent gonna make it” you say with a lilt in your voice and he laughs “how could i miss this? I get to kiss the most beautiful girl not to mention my long time crush” you feel your cheeks flush “i've been waiting for you all day, not to mention i won you this!” he pulls up a small teddy bear and your eyes widen with a chuckle “really! That’s so sweet Noya!” he gets a little nervous now, he confessed his feelings and you didn't say anything about it yet. He feels his face flush as he fumbles with his ticket in his hands. “So.. uh.. Yeah” he says and rocks on his toes as he looks at his ticket. You laugh and hold out your left hand for the ticket with a small smile. He grins as his cheeks dust darker pink as he places the piece of paper gently in your palm. You hop off the stool and lean across the booth to cup his cheek “i’ve been waiting all day for you” you whisper and then you press your lips to his.

Your lips softly rest against his for a moment before you’re pulling back “no, wait” he says softly and cups your cheeks, pulling them back to his own. His tongue touches your bottom lip and you meet it with your own, deepening the kiss and humming in happiness as your lips move together

“Hello?!” the boy behind him asks annoyed and you pull apart with blushing cheeks “sorry guys y/n’s time is over!” Mina says from behind you. You dont know when she appeared but you felt embarrassed anyway. You wave to the long line of guys that had appeared and they all looked mad as Nishinoy just looked like he was in heaven as he walked around the side of the booth to meet you at the back. “Hi” you say shyly and he smiles “hi beautiful” he says you blush “I really like you, Yuu” you whisper with a shy laugh and he takes your hand, lacing your fingers together. “I would hope so! You kissed me like it!” you laugh and rock your shoulder into his playfully “wanna go get some cotton candy?” he asks and you laugh “yes! That sounds amazing. Then maybe we could ride the ferris wheel”

Tendou

“Helloooo” he says happily while waving his ticket slowly in front of your phone “aren’t phones against the rules?” you laugh and roll your eyes “you’re here” you say softly and he smiles and runs a hand through his hair “here i am!” he says with a laugh that shows his anxiety. You take his ticket and then reach up and run your hands through his hair “can i tell you something?” you ask, grateful there isn’t anyone behind him right now. He nods, his ruby eyes shining as they stare into yours “I’ve been waiting for you Satori” you say and laugh shyly and he cups your cheeks, pressing his lips against yours softly. Its soft and sweet and when you pull back he’s pulling your lips back to his again and again, quickly peppering kisses against your lips as you chuckle. “Tendou?” he kisses you and hums in response “maybe” kiss kiss “we should” more kisses “tendou!” mina shouts and he pulls back to look behind you as he still holds your face “take her away, her time is over” tendou shouts for joy and hops through the booth window, taking your hand and leading you away as you chuckle “lets get some lunch and talk about how much you love me” he says and you laugh “sounds good to me” you respond and squeeze his hand. He looks to you with a gasp before his face turns into a grin “and obviously i’ll talk about how much i love you back. It wont just be about me” you laugh “i know, i could tell how much you liked me from those kisses”

Kuroo

“Hey there cutie” he says and you laugh as you shove your phone in your pocket. He always had a way of taking away all your anxiety. You smile up at him as he hands you a red ticket. “Glad you could finally make it Tetsu” you joke as you take his ticket, placing it in the basket with all the others. “I told you id be here” he said with a smile as he leaned his elbows on the booth and smiled at you now he was your height. “And here i thought you were just waiting to kiss all the girls” he hums and reaches out to tuck your hair behind your ear “nah, i only wanna kiss you. I mean, why would i want to kiss anyone else when i have you?” you hop off the stool and lean closer “and how are you sure you even have me?” you whisper and he cups your cheek softly “you have no idea how bad I am hoping” he says, his eyes showing how much vulnerability he is hiding with his teasing “same here” you whisper as he cups your cheeks and presses his lips to yours. The kiss ends sooner than you hoped but the way he is smiling melts your heart “are you done here yet?” he asks with a chuckle and mina behind you yells out “yes! She is! Go on!” she ushers you out of the booth. He holds his hand out to you and you take it with a smile, lacing your fingers together “I guess you were right” you say and he laughs “about what?’ he asks and you squeeze his hand as a blush dusts your cheeks “you have me”

Bokuto

“Hey!” he shouts and you look up at him “no hey hey hey?” you ask as you stand from the stool and smile. He laughs and scratches behind his head “i’m just a little nervous” he says with a shy laugh “hey” you say softly and he meets your eye with his cheeks blushing “I was really hoping you’d come” you say softly, your heart racing. “Really?” he asks and leans forward, placing his ticket on the booth edge and you laugh with a nod. You raise your hand and use your finger to tell him to come closer which he does with a smile and you cup his cheek with one hand while leaning into his opposite ear “i really, really like you Kou” you whisper and he hums in excitement “i like you too!” he says and you laugh “maybe i should kiss you now” he says and you nod as you feel yourself get twice as nervous. He cups your cheeks “so beautiful” he whispers before he presses his lips to yours. You hum at the same time and then chuckle as you kiss him deeper. He pulls back and you chuckle as you wipe his bottom lip with your thumb. Mina taps your shoulder “you’re done hun, now go get your man” she says and you laugh as you make your way around to Bo who excitedly takes your hand “do you wanna maybe turn this into a date?” he asks and you smile with a nod “I’d love that Kou”

~ending~

You spend the whole day with him and watch the sunset form the Ferris wheel, stopping right at the top for you guys. “Wait” you say and turn to him “weren’t you supposed to be in the kissing booth too?” You ask and he chuckles softly “yeah I ditched. I don’t want to kiss anyone else but you” you smile, your cheeks flushing and heart dancing at his words “well if I knew that in the beginning” you say with a laugh and he cups your cheek “you only wanna kiss me too?” He asks softly, his eyes drifting to your lips as you nod. “Then maybe you should be my girl” he says and you laugh “yeah maybe I should” you say just before his lips press against yours for the umpteenth time already today, sending warm fuzzies to your heart and spawned more butterflies you were sure to fly out and into his mouth.

[heyitsyn]

Oh God

TimeTraveler!Son x Haikyuu!! Part 2

a/n: hehe i wouldnt put ‘x haikyuu’ if manager y/n ends up with that certain character. youll just have to,,,, wait for the end 😏

he didnt want to lie but he had to so he could survive

hinata offered his hand to help him up and natsu winced at the scratches and the slight headache as he stood on his two feet

‘you okay?’

hinata asked and natsu nodded

‘yea, just a headache’

natsu tried to play it off as cooly as he could bc this must’ve been from the car hit before and he couldnt just say he got ran over by a damn car

‘where do you live? i can go and treat your wounds there’

natsu was about to respond but he remembers hes not in tokyo anymore and he cant just spout out his address

so he did the thing his mom told him to do whenever it was necessary

he lied

‘i-um,,,’

he fumbled for an excuse but he sighed to maintain the act

‘i got kicked out’

he mumbled and hinata had to make him repeat it twice because he said it so quietly

the tangerine boy gasped and held his arms

‘what?! why?!’

natsu sniffled

‘my dad,,,, he just,,, doesnt want me’

well, that was actually true

so a true statement could equal that lie, right?

thankfully, hinata bought it and he grabbed his arm to walk forward while his other was pushing his bike

‘i hit you with my bike so the least i could do is take you to my house and treat you!’

and that was what they did

natsu’s phone was dead even though he was sure he charged it from denki’s powerbank during practice but it remained its black screen no matter how many times he hit the power button

his surroundings was also something unfamiliar

his mother only kept him in tokyo and never took him to go visit her family because she was kicked out and had to go live with her auntie when she found out about him and his father refused to help her

‘so, sendai, huh?’

he mumbled and hinata looked at him confused

‘sounds like youre not from around here. where you from?’

‘t-tokyo’

he replied and saw hinata’s eyes brighten

‘oh?! you look like youre my age so you must have been in a high school in tokyo, right? what school?’

‘yuuei’

‘hah?! yuuei?! what is that?!’

natsu rolled his eyes and shrugged

‘a school’

hinata persisted though

‘do you know other schools?! any other school friends?! like nekoma?! or fukurodani?!’

natsu shook his head and he was supposed to be happy that he got to meet, even talk, to his idol yet his younger self was much more hyper than his mellowed out behavior on tv

‘i stick to my friends from yuuei’

‘but what are you doing all the way here?’

natsu’s throat dried up and he watched his feet kick the pebbles to distract him of his urge to just whine and throw a tantrum with the confusion from this mess

‘i dont know’

he choked out and he was so tired and confused and all he wants to do is cry in his mother’s arms like he used to but she doesnt even know he exists

hinata sensed the tension and sadness from the boy beside him and tried his best to stay quiet until they get home

to say his mom was angry was an understatement

‘SHOYO, DONT YOU KNOW TO WATCH WHERE YOURE GOING?!’

‘kaa-san i was so angry and bakageyama was yelling at me and hit me and-’

‘THAT DOESNT GIVE YOU AN EXCUSE TO RUN SOMEONE OVER!’

natsu sat there on their couch awkwardly watching the black-haired woman yell at the human tangerine

he coughed in impulse and she turned away from her son and went to sit next to the h/c boy

‘dear, im so sorry for my son and his terrible biking. i didnt catch your name when you entered, what is it?’

even hinata forgot to ask his name but thats such a hinata thing to do though

natsu froze

if he was to say his mother’s last name, it would raise suspicion that he might know her in this time period and izuku has shown him enough doctor who to show him what happens when he messes up in time

again, he lied

‘kiri,,,shima,,, natsu. kirishima natsu’

he inwardly apologized to eijirou for using his last name

mrs. hinata raised a hand to her mouth with a surprised gasp

‘oh! my daughter’s name is also natsu! natsu, dear! can you come here for a second?’

natsu heard soft sounds from the stairs and she shyly walked down 

‘come say hi’

she softly urged her daughter to come closer and the little girl ran to hide behind her older brother who gently smiled and held her hand

‘well, thats her. she just turned 10 a few days ago. look dear, kirishima-kun has the same name as you!’

she waved slightly and natsu felt his heart swell at the sight of the adorable little girl

his mother never really had time for relationships so he was an only child and never got to experience a sibling, only hearing the experience of having siblings from his friend, shouto

mrs. hinata placed a gentle hand on his arm to revert his attention back to her

‘shoyo told me what happened and im sorry that this is all happening to you’

he felt guilty at the sight of her sad eyes because this was all a lie but he knew if he told them the real reason, they wouldnt believe him

so he had to continue with the lie

‘everything was falling apart and i wanted to leave everything behind. so i just took the shinkansen to nowhere and ended up here’

mrs. hinata felt her heart tug because he was just a little boy and he was too young to experience this so she offered him something he shouldnt have agreed to but again, survival

‘you can stay with us in the mean time. our guest room has been collecting dust so you can live here’

‘what? no! i can’t!’

natsu instinctually turned it down because he hated people giving him charity

but the woman squeezed his arm to give him a smile

‘i will not allow a child to live in the streets because of something he couldnt help’

‘arent you worried youre inviting a total stranger in your home?’

but she gave him a knowing smile

‘im a mother. i can trust you, boy’

in exchange for board and food, he promised to get a part time job so he could pay her back and get out of their house as quickly as he could

shoyo led him to the bathroom upstairs so he could treat the wounds from the ground

natsu sat on the closed toilet seat while his literal idol was putting cream on his boo-boos

he still cant wrap his head with everything

maybe it was because he was so busy trying to come up with lies that he wasnt able to fully sit down and think about the fact that he just TRAVELED BACK IN TIME and could accidentally change it

‘shoyo, what year is it?’

he mumbled

‘2012′

he answered and natsu sighed but his head perked up

oh god

2012

thats a year away from 2013

the year he was born

that meant shoyo’s team manager was going to give birth to him next year

‘why? did you hit your head so far that you forgot?’

hinata joked but he paled when natsu didnt laugh

‘OH GOD DID YOU?!’

‘NO! AND STOP YELLING!’

natsu shouted, equally surprised

‘whew, thank god. again, im so sorry i hit you’

‘shoyo, dont worry about it, okay? im fine, i swear’

during dinner, mrs. hinata told him about his school situation

‘you can go to karasuno with shoyo. what year were you in?’

‘first’

‘perfect! shoyo is too so he could easily help you around the school!’

natsu nodded quietly, still out of it and his brain finally starting to accept this impossible reality

‘but i dont think i could help you with the entrance exams. im not the most-um-smartest, per se’

shoyo apologized but natsu already knew that

he was no extreme fanatic but he knew quite a lot about hinata shoyo, the player he watched during the 2021 olympics and the reason he started playing volleyball

natsu dreamed to join the msby jackals just like his idol did and eventually reach the national team like hinata did

it was during the olympics of 2021, he knew he wanted to be like him

this boy who sat next to him was the reason he came to love volleyball along with his other idol, oikawa tooru, from the argentina volleyball team after seeing that legendary match 

when oikawa hit that service ace, natsu wanted to be able to receive that

he was merely 8 and his neighbor, midoriya inko, was babysitting him and she placed him and her son who was his friend, izuku, in front of the tv where they watched the olympics match

‘someday, ill be someone great. ill be great like him’

he promised and from then on, he worked to achieve that goal 

‘natsu? hello?’

he was shaken from his thoughts as shoyo nudged him back to reality

mrs. hinata laughed

‘maybe you should head to bed early, dear. you must be tired after having a hard journey’

he nodded and was about to go and wash his dishes when she stopped him

‘no. go and sleep, ill take care of this’

‘i have to do my part in here, hinata-san. please, let me do this’

she finally agreed and he was scrubbing the plates when his mind wandered over to possible solutions on how he could go back

there was an episode that he watched with izuku that the character had to do something to go back

and he had a feeling that he would have to do the same thing

but what would that something be?

there had to be a reason he was thrown all the way in this time and it couldnt just be a coincidence that supposedly, this would be around the same time his mother would get pregnant

but who would it be?

he finished putting the plates on the drying rack and he felt really thirsty suddenly

opening the fridge, he found no water bottles and natsu had a very sensitive stomach so he couldnt drink tap water

his next favorite beverage was there and he pulled a glass from the cabinet

‘hinata-san, is it okay if i can have some milk?’

he called out and she shouted that it was okay

natsu poured the drink on his glass and started drinking it when hinata entered the kitchen and snickered at him

‘yknow, you remind me of my idiot teammate. none of my other friends drink straight milk except for him’

natsu placed the glass down and wiped his lips

‘chocolate milk make me sick and i hate the taste of flavoring in milk. but i just hate flavoring in general. except for gari gari popsicles, those are good’

natsu reasoned, watching hinata move across the room to get an apple

‘still ew. but come on! lets go to bed so i can show you around school early before practice tomorrow!’

natsu noticed his excitement by the way he bounced in place and he chuckled

it reminded him of his friends mina and denki

hinata led them both to his room so he could check his wounds again just to make sure

then something caught his eye

‘kirishima-kun you like volleyball?!’

that threw him off

partly because he wasnt used to being called by his friend’s last name

but also because of the question

‘huh? how do you know that?’

natsu asked, almost defensively

hinata shrugged

‘i saw your volleyball shoes in your bag’

hinata reasoned and excitedly pointed at them

‘you should play for us! im part of the team too! oh oh! what position do you play?!’

‘l-libero’

natsu stuttered out, slightly overwhelmed by hinata’s energy

hinata started circling him, inspecting his height and looking at him up and down

‘yanno, kirishima-kun, youre really tall. like much taller than the rest of my club. maybe not saltyshima but really!! youre so tall!!’

hinata whined in envy and natsu laughed

‘blame it on the paternal side of the family. my ma isnt really tall’

he laughs but then memories of his mother resurfaced and he suddenly felt gloomy, guilty, even, bc he doesnt know if time stopped there or it kept going and if so, shes probably worried sick

and he knew she was always one who blamed herself

hinata noticed his downcast expression and thought he probably remembers his dad and got sad since he got kicked out

so our baby sunshine freaked out and he frantically waved his hands around

‘oh no! gomen kiri-kun! gomen! i really didnt mean to make you think about him! gomen!!!’

he even bowed which surprised the h/c boy and made him stand back up

‘o-oi shoyo! dont! you didnt because i wasnt thinking about him!’

he fussed and patted hinata’s hair

‘i dont care about him. to be honest, there isnt much to think about’

he didnt think about what he said until he heard himself

natsu’s eyes widened, fearful of how hinata could take it but he flinched when the orange-haired boy’s eyes were filled with his own tears

‘OH NO!! KIRI-KUN!!!’

then launched another series of apologies and natsu had to calm him down

oh dear

it was early in the morning like 5 when hinata bursted into natsu’s room

the loud shout of shoyo made his eyes blink open and he groaned before turning to the side

‘come on, kiri-kun! we need to go to take your exam!’

‘nooooooooo’

‘yeeessssssss’

it was quite a battle for hinata to even just get natsu out of bed but he managed to bribe the latter with some milk bread from the bakery down the street

‘2′

natsu showed his two fingers and hinata sighed before nodding

‘yes. now go hurry so we can leave!’

dressed in his grey sweatpants and a yuuei sweatshirt, natsu cursed as he only has clothes good for 2 days and he didnt want to bother the hinatas so he was at a loss

mrs hinata bid the two boys good bye and natsu was yawning and dragging his body to walk while hinata was skipping over to his bike

then he finally realized the problem

he nervously looked at natsu and the taller boy didnt understand why he was looking at him that way

‘what?’

shoyo pointed at the bike and awkwardly smiled

‘uh,,, you see,,, i dont think youd,,, fit,,, at the back seat’

natsu shrugged

‘then ill bike. ive done it before’

he sauntered over to the bike and swiftly lifted his leg before testing out the brake handles

‘its good and better than mine back home’

‘a-are you-’

‘sit down, sho’

hinata gripped on to the back of natsu’s sweatshirt as he told him the directions to how to get to the school

natsu remembered watching an interview of hinata talking about his high-school life and he remembered the star player talking about his dedication to go to karasuno everyday for volleyball

and the boy couldn’t believe hes doing that right now, with his idol literally behind him, and driving to the legendary karasuno high school

from the jackals to the adlers and even some other teams like the frogs, natsu cheered for them

there was a memory of his mother sitting with him on their couch during one of her rare day offs as they rewatched the recorded copy of the olympics

it has become natsu’s favorite thing to watch

‘with great talent comes great hardships. people don’t become good overnight and i watched those people suffer through it all but look where they are now’

‘KIRISHIMA, WATCH OUT! COWS CROSSING!’

natsu was snapped out of his thoughts at hinata’s shout

then it morphed into pure and utter confusion

‘cows?’

shoyo laughed

‘since youre from the city, this must be a weird sight for you, huh? well, in the countryside, this happens a lot!’

but natsu didnt mind

in fact, he loved cows

he loved any farm animal in general

maybe it was his upbringing in the hustle and bustle of the city that he grew to love the countryside

shoto took him with his family to a trip to the country once and he remembered loving the smell of grass

they were able to do an activity in a farm where they worked in a rice farm and the peace and serenity was something he will always remember

his mother was lucky she grew up in a place like this

‘kiri-kun, ive been wanting to ask, how is your volleyball team in the city? are you a powerhouse?’

natsu felt pride bubble up in his chest

‘of course! we got second place in nationals!’

he boasted and blurted out before he could stop himself

then he felt fear

he shouldnt have said that because for all he knows, yuuei probably doesn’t exist at this time period

hinata had a different reaction and his eyes shone

‘WHAT?! WOAH! SO COOL! I HAVE TO TELL OUR CAPTAIN THAT WE’RE GETTING A POWERHOUSE STUDENT!’

‘uh-i-uh-’

natsu didnt know what to say because he had a feeling he definitely just did an oopsie

so he switched topics really quick to divert the attention away from his past

‘o-oi sho, once youre done being a pro volleyball player and stuff, we should have our own rice farm’

of course it was such a random idea but it distracted the orange boy

hinata shrugged

‘i mean,,, i have to be a pro first but i guess we can!’

‘hmm,,,, i dont think you have to worry about that’

.................................................

taglist:

@hartbeat-art​ @yakus-yakult​ @nerdyphantomlady​ @jollycowboysaladhero​ @cynicallychaotic​ 

a/n: oh god this sat in my drafts for so long and i really dont know what im doing like i kinda have a rough outline of what im doing but im just going with the flow but i dont think the flow is quite flowy 

[juni-ravenhall]

on the topic of furries (with peace and love to the furries) i have a cousin who is a furry but like, she was always really ashamed of it and i dont talk to her anymore but last time i know she was still going “im not a furry for real i mean like.... its irony... or something” while wearing a fursuit she made herself and going to furry cons and almost exclusively dating and being friends with other furries

which is really sad like... live your true life be happy u know

but what i actually wanted to say was that one time, she started arguing at me for no reason (something she did a lot shes very rude) about that everyone who likes my little pony or who is into horses is also a furry. (her thing was: YOURE A FURRY NOT ME ALTHOUGH IF I WAS IT WOULD BE MARGINALLY MORE OKAY IF YOURE ALSO A FURRY SO YOU CANT JUDGE ME - without me, u know, actually judging her...)

and i think thats interesting like, at the time i was like “but isnt this pretty different?” bc ur typical image of furries is the canine or feline humanoid hottie type right? and MLP or horses in the style of Spirit or sso arent really... like... they dont really read the same way at first glance. but ofc its completely true that theyre anthros aka anthropomorphic animals (humanised animals) even if they still look like a horse and not a sexy wolf, if you’ve given them more humanoid expressions or ways of behaving. (yes i know theres dragon furries and all kinds please dont explain to me. i was on deviantart before some of you were born) 

so my topic is: do you as a horsegirl (gender neutral), or just as an sso player if you arent a true horsegirl, FEEL like a furry? do you identify as a furry on behalf of being into some anthro horses and/or real horses as an interest? would you agree if someone called you a furry on behalf of this? do you consider MLP or sso horses (esp soul horses or wildwoods herds) to be “furry” characters?

[littlecafe]

omg those methods are all so much better for packing the cd! the paper envelopes make me so nervous when i try to take it out. its so dumb to think about how much they could have done better. i got my album this week and the cover is just so sad, even the embossed details are really difficult to see...i wish they could have at least put their group logo or honestly anything else. even the fake group from the drama jr was a part of had actual albums for purchase, and the quality was so much better??

thats truee they were so young when they started, and they still have some time before they have to go... but aron started a podcast with his friend and they just released their first video! it looks really promising and im glad he isnt limited anymore :')

truly the group is so close with each other like always wearing each others clothes or whatever and showering each other with compliments, i dont even know how solo fans justify themselves.

oh my gosh posters for packaging?? thats an expensive piece of paper! ah noo there arent many shops near me so i order them online, which always means a random poster. i did get a group poster though which im very happy about :D and thankfully the pages werent ripped, but just the fear of the possiblity really made the experience less enjoyable that it should have been. i do think those are a decent size for posters. ah did you get your day6 one in a tube?

the albums after the merge just keep getting more disappointing the more you think about it, like romanticize with the tiniest paper photobook in a "box" that would be so easily crushed, and now a blank white cover with empty pages inside :| i miss the happily ever after album budget so much. plus their q is and canvas album were beautiful and the company was literally in debt at that time!

yes the paper envelopes are just not it, when taking it out you have to be extra careful if you don't want to fingerprint the other side....and it just feels kinda wrong storing the cd inside a paper envelope and then inside a book (the album) like it's not even a storage box type album it's literally book style i have no idea why they deviated from attaching it inside one of the covers...it's not even expensive to do like jyp does it cheap af for some day6 albums just a little foamy circle thing to hold it in place

omg the cover ugh i thought the embossing was going to be way more noticeable than that??? but it's soooo light, it's hard to pick up on camera and probably not insanely better in person i bet...the fact that only the 1 and 0 are in black (not counting that tiny ass text at the bottom) makes it the only thing really visible on the album, no group name, no album name, no logo like you can't even tell who the album belongs to it's really a frustrating design choice, also this is minor but the fact that the 1 and 0 aren't even aligned, which wouldn't be a problem at all if you could see the rest of the typography design, except you can't since the rest of the numbers are white so from further away it's just a floating 1 in one corner of the album and a slight lower 0 on the other side like wtf

plssss i saw fans talking about the fake group's album too and it really does look so much better i'm so sick how can you let a group that's not even real beat you in the album department like please do better omg nu'est was done so dirty

yes thankfully there is still some time, unless it's just unlucky drawings that have you get called earlier but i don't really know how it works exactly or what years they are up to now eep but oh wow the first episode is out? i'll have to check it out when i have the time, i've just been out of the loop lately on a lot of things since i can apparently only divide my energy between 2 things at max (rip)

honestly don't know what they are even using to justify their thoughts bc the members are so close and truly enjoy each other's company in literally every video and show i've ever watched of them it's crazy they have solo stans that are that adamant about it too

aw i see, yea kpop stores are still pretty rare and i think every online website just gives randomly but ahhh i'm happy to hear your album got to you safely and nothing is damaged!! and the group poster too omg lucky!! ot5 pictures are always a win i love that for you! oh god yea, if i knew beforehand that albums were arriving in those conditions i would've been so nervous too so i'm glad i didn't??? but also if something was wrong in my album i think i would cry like the ripped pages are really too much.....

oh i think it might be more common for stores in korea to do that, my sister bought the nu'est album physically in store so there's nothing to pack but the poster was rolled and taped by a cut scrap piece of a tvxq poster but it wasn't an official one, it lowkey looked like a press picture from ages ago and it was double sided too idk why the store has it and used it to roll up their posters SJHJDSFDS

i also remember a tiktok that cause a lot of chaos on twitter back then, the only thing i can pull up about it now is this screenshot but seems like occasionally, unsold/ungiven posters do just get crumpled or cut up for packaging ;_;

i didn't get my day6 posters in a tube since i bought them in store! they just roll it up loosely for me and put it in the bag with the album or hand it off to me~ i have bought albums online before but were bought long after pre-order benefits ended so those never came with posters for me but from unboxing videos seems like they tend to come in a tube, i think some places give you the option to have it come folded too if you don't want the tube

yea that flimsy box...what they were thinking like that packaging is so easily damaged during shipping and these albums literally get shipped everywhere!! they were clearly trying to cheap out and not give them a hard cover box but then why would u even attempt that packaging style...if they wanted to go soft cover they should just make it a slip box like this, with everything fitted to the cover so it won't get easily dented but maybe that would expose how thin the photobook was 🙄

those blank pages along with so many useless white space it's horrible, my sister said it reminds her of those testing booklets that have those white pages that say "this page has been intentionally left blank" there's literally no reason to have empty pages in a photobook 😭😭

so true...wish we had that budget back at least for this last album, happily ever after was truly their best work for nu'est imo very sad that it just got progressively worse and more money grabby as the albums went on and then the horrible quality downgrade and price increase after the merge just the bitter cherry on top ugh...exactly...they managed to make decent albums with no money before yet now they have money and this is what we get???

[fortunemars]

Ghostbur headcannon time bc I'm soft and living in that feeling I get when I talk to men that I feel safe around

Image texts bc my handwriting sucks:

He has a heart on his poncho (he always wears it for many reasons). It gets fuller with darker blues the more sad he gets or the more bad memories he is reminded of. I feel like only people he trusts (consciously or unconsciously) can see the heart and those ppl would totally be tommy tubbo fundy and phil.

His stab wound from philza killing him is permanently blue and is actually hollow, there is blue staining the area like blood. But hes not actually injured anymore per se, just the scar. Cannonically ghostbur remembers that Phil killed him so he has a clue why he has this mark. He uses the poncho to cover it up bc he thinks its gross and people wouldnt like him if they saw it.

Side headcannon that wasnt on the picture: his scar stings (like the feeling he gets when hes in water but not actually melting him) when hes around philza and his heart fills up 20% easier/faster when hes around philza.

Bleeds and cries blue, cries blue to release the blue that builds up in his heart. He jars this because when it's not in contact with him, it turns clear. But that takes a while so he has a cellar full of jars with various levels of blue. Once it turns clear he begins to give it out to his friends when he thinks they need it.

The cellar has a really heavy vibe and it makes most characters cry heavily the moment they enter the room, sans maybe one or two that either have no emotions lmao or they just arent affected the same way as normal ppl are to blue.

Philza and Fundy found the cellar first and were both found by Ghostbur. They had to sleep for a day because the room drained a lot of energy from them. Bur was mad they didnt respect his privacy but he was more sad because they got drained by the blue room.

The poncho! It was made by Fundy and gifted to his dad while Wilbur was still... a good dad...

Wilbur put it away and didnt wear it a lot because Fundy didnt like seeing his shitty dad wear smthn he made for a dad he respected. It got torn up and moth eaten in storage but it was the first thing ghostbur remembered when he woke up as a ghost. Fundy hated him for wearing it and how torn up it was but he (begrudgingly after a lot of begging from ghost) teaches ghost to sew. Ghost gets really happy and slowly begins to sew up the holes.

Headcannon that ghostbur gets all his friends pendants with blue in the capsule, he flies around when they sleep and takes out the blue when it gets dark blue and puts in clear blue. Like he tells them sleeping heals mental wounds.

Idk I love the idea of soft caretaker ghostbur bc he just wants people to be happy and cared for no matter their sides or backstories.

He writes stories and reads them to the others when they're asleep but sometimes they fake sleep because they find it comforting to hear Ghostbur tell stories. Fundy was absolutely the first one to find out about this, because he felt cool air on his fur and woke up to Ghostbur quietly and happily reading a story he wrote about his happy memories with Sally-

*cries*

Fundy hated it at first, taking it as "oh my deadbeat dad is just trying to suck up to me now" but soon he found himself laying half awake at night while he listens to Ghostbur telling stories he wrote or heard.

Tommy and tubbo are both told stories about the other and they find it really comforting being reminded of their best friend. It helps tommy get through dreams manipulation because his mindset turns to "well if real tubbo doesn't care about me anymore... at least I have those stories" and he asks ghost to tell him a certain few stories (really good memories of all three of them that ghost remembers) that make him really happy. He sleeps peacefully holding his compass.

Bonus: ghost learns how to sew and makes tommy a tubbo doll and tommy hates it but then he gives in and pretends tubbodoll is his real friend. Honestly real lowkey insane bc of solitary tommy vibes. Tommy tells tubbodoll what he did every day and he holds him when he sleeps at night to keep himself anchored to his tubbo so he doesnt get sucked into dreams tormenting.

Tubbo gets a tommy plushy !! He hugs him every night before he sleeps and talks to him about random every day things. Talks to him while hes alone in his room doing business stuff. Cute.

Both the dolls have mini blue pendants bc it helps suck in the sad from the people. Ghost makes sure to clean out the pendants every night!

Aaaa I have so many random headcannons that would be so cute in a fanfic but I'm not very good at writing. Tell me what you think! I know a lot of these would probably conflict with the cannon but let me have my little comfort mans

[magicflowershop]

one day kitty; Kita version

《inspired by movie A Whisker Away》

✿✿ you wished to be with the person you like and wish granted. whiskers, button nose, tail, four legs and ears on top of the head; you turned into a cat. with this, you are given the opportunity to be with the person you want to express your affections to. but as a cat. and only in one day.

― haikyuu characters x cat!reader imagines!

❀ masterlist ❀

the wheel of names have spoken.

kita was having a good time by himself in his grandmother’s rice fields, feeling the breeze like the precious farm boi he is,,, when he saw a cat sleeping on a wet patch in the middle of the field

gathering concern for the little cat, he brought him home and decided to clean it up 

then you woke up

you felt something scrubbing your back when you open your eyes you see a guy aiming a hose at you 

you scream bc obv, but that scream translated into a screech leaving your mouth and you see your hand

homie that was a paw

why do u have a paw?????

"stay still, you might hurt yourself”

and why is there a Kita Shinsuke spraying water at you lmao

you see that he’s kinda annoyed that you’re moving so much while he’s trying to clean you up but at the same time you arent sure since he isnt easy to read and that don’t know him too well rip so you let yourself be cleaned for free ig

but yo what the hell??? so you’re a cat now????

you try to remember what happened before all this and how in the world you suddenly turned into a cat and magically wake up in Kita’s place 

you dont know the exact location of his place so you have no idea how to get back home from here

Kita pulled the cat closer to him, and wiping the wet fur with a towel as generously as he could that the cat soon found comfort from his gentle caresses

okay maybe you could stay for a while yk huehue

“you’re having fun”

you hear a familiar voice from a mile away, you look back and see a fat, creepy cat standing on two of its hind feet

o wait

you saw that cat last night when you were watching the shooting star outside,,, you thought it’d be cute if you suddenly wished for something so you did then that thing appeared outta nowhere promising you that he can make your wish come true than compared to a stupid star

so he forced the wish outta you

that you wished to be closer to a guy you admired,, and you had a lot of crushes in your school ykyk,,, just that Kita takes the entire cake

“you have until midnight to remain as a cat. be sure to leisurely fulfill your desires, y/n.”

and so he vanished

while knowing full well you’re basically Cinderella now, you take consideration of your leisure time with Kita-sama

do you stay or do you go home first to check on your household

“oh what do we have here?”

Kita’s grandma entered the scene and you think that okay maybe this development is a little too quick since you weren’t ready to face his relatives yet

“i found this cat in the fields. it looked like it could get sick so i cleaned it”

o yea you were a damn cat

also Kita calls you freakin “it”

:) 

pennywise who

you chose to stay in Kita’s place bc grandma thought it’d be lovely to let you stay there for a while,, and that you looked like you were starving when you saw the food on the table

thank goodness you were a cat bc jesus were you actually drooling

so you spent time in Kita’s place big deal

but his place isn’t what you’re aimed for no?

“i’m leaving”

Kita says putting on his shoes, ready to leave and he’s wearing casual clothes,, you don’t think he’s going to school for volleyball practice

IS HE GOING ON A DATE????????????

lmao

as if thats actually true cmon Kita doesn’t even hang out with girls that much,,, even though he prolly has a bunch of admirers like the other Inarizaki Vball bois

but what if he swang that wae?

??????????

so you followed him right?

you wanted to find out where he’s headed also that he looked good in casual clothes you just want to keep looking at him like this 

Kita went to the grocery store

ah

and apparently he was buying ingredients to make food

ahh

so you begin to think that you were foolish for lowkey gate-keeping him

like sis cmon you’re a cat rn keep your head in the game,, what do you do with those paws of yours that cant even grab his hand and pull him away when he was about to bump into a girl as he was about to grab a bottle of tomato paste

heck you cant even get inside the damn grocery store and walk in between them cause you’re a fcking cat!!!!!!!!

you watch their mouths say sorries to each other

the girl was blushing

hm?

Kita looked worried that he couldve hurt her since the hag was coverin her face

hm

nani k

n̸̢̪̜͚͑́̾́̑̋ á̴̠̜̳͖̼̃͗̚͘͠ͅ n̵̼͙͇̻̹̓͜͜ i̷̥̲̻̪͈̞̙̩͛̾̅̓͝͝͠ ̶̨̡̜̞̟͆̿̈́͜ḵ̶̂̓̀̚ o̶͎͛̋̋̊͋̊̅̈̅ͅ r̶͙̮̱͊̎͠ ę̷̺̪͎͈̗̖̯̣͍͒͊̒͆͂̈́͛́̒̃

you started tapping the glass windows like mad SKSKD

and ofc since you’re a stray animal ppl wont let u get away with absolutely anything so one personnel saw you tapping the windows and shouted at you from inside the store

Kita and the hag saw you and yea that was enough embarrassment for the day, you ran away and let your feet take you wherever 

its a bit boring that since its a weekend there’s nothing to do,, you never expected that Kita’s weekends would be this boring too :(

so the creepy cat appeared

“what’s wrong you dont seem to be enjoying yourself anymore”

“turn me back to human i need to finish my homework”

maybe thats not the most liable excuse you have but it is true that you need to finish an assignment

“but i gave you a chance to be with the person you admire, no? is this not enough?”

“yea well its-”

“here you are”

you feel someone pick you up and you see that it was Kita:0he must’ve looked for you since you dont even know where you are

oh my god Kita Shinsuke looked for you ma’am eye- or mayhaps you took the route back to his house without knowing since you were busy staring at him when you were stalking him earlier ye

you watched how he looked at the creepy cat you were talking to and and judged it from head to hind feet lmao Kita

“do you have the same owner as this cat?”

he asked you and you gave out every ounce of your energy to shake your head as a no as well as to let out the most disgusted and disapproval meow you ever could-

“the hell would i want to be acquainted with that thing!”

a

what

no way did u just speak

so Kita stared at you for the remainder of the time but decided you speaking isnt physically possible and that he could’ve been real tired since he saw the Miya twins along the way

he took you back home since his grandma seemed to be real happy seeing a little animal in the house with them

but you didnt miss to see the little knowing smile from the creepy cat from earlier, you just knew from that alone that he was messing with you since as you said you were bored 

it was wrong of you to talk to that lil disgusting thing

since that moment you refused to speak with your mouth every again, if you were going to speak thought you would probably just purposely say meow only to not make anymore mistakes

also you’re spending a lot of time with Kita’s grandma than Kita himself

“i wonder what your future spouse is doing at this moment, Shin-kun”

Kita looked like he wanted to roll his eyes so bad lmao since he always hears things about his grandma wanting to see his wedding before she dies :c

and yk it makes you sad too just hearing about this

and you want to help 😔

and you would offer help 😌

they heard the cat speak and now you’re running away bc they heard you talk about wanting to marry Shinsuke 🤡

the day ended and you managed to go home before the sun set basically nothing happened and your transformation was all for nuttin, you were bamboozled by a demon cat you randomly saw one night

the next day you were back to your human self and it was a school day so ofc you have to live on normally in school as if nothing happened, as if you didnt just stalk a guy from your school but we’ll get to that

see, you’re friends are friends with a few of the guys from your school’s volleyball team,,, so you’re within vicinity of Kita’s attention 

when you explicitly did not want to see him atm

BUT THEN YOU REMEMBER YOUR FRIENDS KNOW YOU LIKE KITA

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO NOW

you decided to run away but you realize that’s useless bc you’re all going home together :D

now you weren’t the crowds type of person,, you had no idea how it come to this, you’re used to hanging out with your girlfriends yes but they were having fun altogether like this it was fun just watching them goof off and whatnot

“hey”

when i told you you’re almost dropped the second you hear Kita calling to you, you best believe

you said hey but in a different tone of voice bc it was too early for him to notice you had the same voice as the cat he saw yesterday,,, then you both walked in silence

you couldnt take it anymore and decided to go to the nearest convenience store since you had something you want to buy,, you went and whispered this to your friends but when they were asking you to let your voice out, you were deadass croaking

but then you clown yourself sum more bc Kita was concerned of you acting like this and asked if you were alright

now you’re stuck with him in the convenience store bc your friends and his friends thought it’d be a great idea for him to go with you :D

“you should eat something warm before going to sleep, and take a warm bath too”

:((((((

okay now you feel bad for actually making him worry lol

your alibi of getting sick works really well with not speaking at all around him so you used this till the end thinking you can escape him with this until it rained and you dont have an umbrella with you

aight y/n you’re one hell of a clutz

Kita was enough of a gentleman to buy an umbrella for you until its actually out of stock

you guys stayed in the convenience store for the time being

you were losing your mind

how much longer will you stay with him

you thought of an alibi to save you from the embarrassment so you told him you gotta jet and go back to school bc you forgot to bring your notebook with you 

but now you realize you realize you didnt have to tell him bc he’ll still follow you as if his life depends on taking care of you :(

after you randomly stormed out of the convenience store, he caught up to you and pulled you somewhere where there’s a roof over

“are you usually this reckless? or do you just like getting yourself sick?”

homie does not hold back

he pulled a spare shirt from his back and put it on your head,, proceeding to wipe your wet hair with it until he realized he’s subconsciously invading your personal space

he looked right at you, so you two were standing there,,, staring,, his hands on both sides of your head,,,,, both of y’all are wet hunni

he let go and turned the other way,,, the darkness wasnt dark enough to conceal his red cheeks and hunni you made him blush aight

“you reminded me of a cat i saw yesterday im sorry about that”

“you dont have to apologize”

o sis you did it now

you s p o k e

so Kita was beyond surprised to hear that voice again,,,, and this time from yOU,, ALL NORMAL,, NO FROGS

“i, i can explain”

he looked at you confused, hell was he so confused, that you sounded exactly like the voice he randomly heard yesterday which made him think that came from the cat,, he didnt think that was physically possible bc yk but the embarrassment from your face was enough for him to guess

“did you really say you’re willing to marry me”

gOD

“i mean,,, i don’t mind”

“grandma would be glad”

stay tuned for more!

[littlebigafterdark]

I'm feeling in a particular mood for some more Logan stuff, (totally not my comfort character who unfortunately is a medium for a lot of angst /s) so maybe the almost-relapse?

the littles accidentally trigger logan's ED (janus and patton help him thru it)

This is a copy pastd from a really long message i sent to liv a few weeks ago, just in case the grammar is weird or somethin!

oOo

context: whenever roman is a brat and refuses to eat dinner, logan gets noticeably more frustrated than with any other bratty behaviour because it hits too close to home to his eating disorder

so...

one day when patton is out somewhere, maybe at his carpentry class ((thats actually slightly spoilers for a big concept for the main blog lol)), logan has both the littles

and roman is bratty and refuses to eat dinner and logan breathes evenly and tries not to worry abt it bc he KNOWS roman always eats, hes just doing it to be annoying, breathe, he isnt actually restricting its ok

and logan was literally holding the baby fork up to vees mouth and suddenly she giggles and pushes it away

"come on baby, yummy time" logan coos and smiles a little but he doesnt feel it, and with his other hand he tickles lightly under vees chin and she giggles and logan smiles and goes to feed her again

but she pushes the fork away and babbles "mo bima!"

and roman laughs "yeah, no dinner! no dinner!" and bounces

and logan is feeling rlly shaky and hot suddenly and swallows thickly and ignores roman, and keeps looking at vee "princess, please open up," trying not to pay attention to how shaky his voice is. "its papa's spaghetti remember? yummy" he nods enthusiastically and goes to feed her again

but again vee just giggles all squeaky and pushes the fork away and looks at roman with a big smile for his approval. and roman is like "yeah vee! rebellion!!!" still so playful

but he hasnt noticed logans chest is heaving a little and hes staring at where vee pushed the fork away and logan was too shaky not to drop it on the floor.

and he looks up at vee and how small she is and how shes genuinely on the lower end of average weight and they need to make sure she doesnt dip down into underweight and thinks about how terrified he is of the idea that if she did develop an ED like he did it would be so dangerous and he cant see his baby go through that and-

it just hits him so so so harshly and hes suddenly crying and roman and vee freeze and look at him. and he hurriedly wipes away his tears and breathes shakily and tries to say again

"vee pl-please just ea--" and his throat closes up, he cant even say the word 'eat' and he gags on his tears and jumps up from his chair to run out to the downstairs bathroom and locks himself in trying to calm down and stop gagging.

and he can hear vee crying and roman - adult now - promising her its okay, mama feels a bit sicky but everythings okay, lets phone nana, its ok baby

and logan is breathing too fast and shaking and crying with his back against the bathroom door, not gagging anymore, but unable to take himself outside

. he hears roman feeding vee, and vee giggling and clearly enjoying the food, but no matter how comforting that is to hear he cant get over that genuine terror he felt when vee refused to eat, its his worst nightmare for vee to develop disordered eating - for any of them, but vee is already very thin and it could be critical, and logan cant get over that

when janus arrives (barely ten minutes later, he must have jumped in the car straight away which is only used for emergencies bc of janus' partial blindness) he speaks quietly to roman, and of course theyre trying to be subtle

but the kitchen is only across the hall from the bathroom and logan hears every word of roman explaining what happened and how confusing it was and how patton wont be home for another forty five minutes and roman didnt want either vee or logan to be alone but they probably shouldnt be around each other right now since vee gets so upset when the others arent happy

roman tries to talk to logan first through the bathroom door, apologising for misbehaving and promising he wont do that again. but can logan tell him what exactly was so bad about it this time? so roman can not do whatever it is in future.

but logan cant bring himself to say anything. he cant tell roman about this at least not yet he hasnt felt ready yet even if its been years and he doesnt know if he ever will be ready to tell roman about his ED

so after realising logan wont talk to him, roman swaps with janus. janus doesnt know the details but he knows theres something about logan and eating and hes made an educated guess from all the fibs hes heard over the years.

"hey, dic" (janus' unsavoury nickname for logan that he insists is just short for dictionary) "do you need a glass of water?"

logans throat is actually dry from hyperventilating and he says with a quiet scratchy voice through the door "yes please"

and when janus brings it to the door he just knocks gently and when logan opens the door to accept it janus doesnt make any comment on logans messy hair where hes run his hand through it or on his glassy red rimmed eyes or on the tremble of his fingers. but he does say "i know it must be so cozy in there" he nods to the cramped cold bathroom "but you might just prefer it in your room"

logan flushes a little and nods, comes out of the bathroom and heads to the stairs, but he pauses at the bottom of the stairs thinking... he doesnt know if he can be trusted alone upstairs. theres another bathroom up there and the gagging has made his stomach churn and he feels FULL from dinner and if only he emptied it then maybe he would feel better right? .... no

so he rasps without turning back to janus "i... i cant be alone"

"look behind you, idiot" janus says and its far closer than logan remembered him being.

he whips his head round to see janus was following closely behind him. janus raises a pierced eyebrow "well, are we going to stand in the stairway all night?" and of course its snarky but its soft too

so logan breathes deeply and they go upstairs to his room. janus makes himself at home, immediately grabbing a book from logans book case and collapsing sideways in logans armchair as soon as they stepped in the room. logan reclines on his bed and sips his water and does breathing exercises and tries to not feel humiliated about this breakdown

every time logan tries to apologise for disturbing janus' evening (he didnt) or asks if janus is sure roman is grownup enough to look after vee appropriately (he is) or insists that he is okay to be left alone now (he's not) janus just murmurs "shut up im reading"

when patton gets back roman just tells him logan isnt feeling good and patton hurries up to see him - and upon seeing his husband logan is overcome by shame that he almost relapsed and relief that his best friend is here and a wave of tears that he tries and fails to blink away

and janus just quietly bids them good night and promises he'll stay a couple hours to keep roman and vee company, but patton insists he stays the night in pattons room (its not safe for him to drive in thr dark) and janus is used to this routine by now that he knows where the spare pillows are

so janus leaves quietly and logan croaks "thanks, old man" trying to sound casual but regretting it when his voice shakes. janus just holds up a peace sign and closes logans door behind him on the way out.

as soon as the door closes logans face crumples and he hides his eyes behind his arm and patton practically bounds over to logan and climbs onto bed next to him and cradles logans head to his shoulder as he cries

they stay like that, cuddling in bed, patton cradling logans head and kissing the nape of his neck and wrapping his arm around logans waist to spoon him and whisper about what happened and how they can avoid it in future

but mainly they just breathe and cry together and patton fills the hours with soft affirmations of love and getting logan a tea and promising its okay if logan wants a cookie with it but logan says maybe later (later turns out to be 2:30 in the morning but at least it really was later)

they barely sleep that night but its all comfort and talking and by morning despite being exhausted, logan feels safer and breakfast goes by without a hitch

oOo

just some notes me and liv made that i think highlights some main points:

logan struggling so much even when he knows that the kids are just playing around and they don't really mean that they don't want to eat, but it's just one of those things that inevitably hits too close to home

it just suddenly hit him! like any other day he can cope with roman doing that, its a small blip usually, but the fact that VEE started refusing food freaked logan out so much bc they genuinely have to keep an eye on her weight just bc shes naturally so small

his emotions about his history with an ED plus his overprotective mama cg space making him nearly go into a panic attack from the thought that vee could develop an ED is very sad and very true

and janus coming right away!! and he and roman handle the siatuation so well, like roman was so smart knowing not to leave logan alone, and janus calling him dic and taking him to his room and staying there until patton gets back

and him crying from just seeing patton because he's his best friend and he can be vulnerable around him is very :'c <3

hes so so relieved to see patton but theres also the slightests "ive let my husband down" bc he thinks bc patton helped him so much he owes it to patton to not relapse - but of course pat reassures him its natural to relapse but he didnt! he caught it in the early stages and asked for help and patton is never disappointed in him

he caught it!!! he caught it and he stopped himself and he let himself be helped by both roman and janus and patton and he didn't even relapse!! and this whole thing is really a sign of how far he's come that he was able to accept their help in his vulnerable state, even if roman and janus didn't have the full story, they still wanted to help him through whatever he was experiencing

[stray-tori]

An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP 

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS 

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS 

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE 

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

No

NO

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :((( 

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more 

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message 

why 

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

[imbeccablee]

HAPPY BIRTH TO OUR LITTLE GREEN FERAL BOI-HC about how his birthday were when he was younger compared to now? (bonus points for Mama Inko being the only constant and for steadily more and more people being at his parties and deku having no idea how to deal with so many people who love him)

oh you KNOW I'm here for that Izuku angst!!! (sorry this is late, I didnt see this until yesterday night lmao)

before Izuku was diagnosed, he would invite katsuki and those other boys over after daycare. it would always be a little awkward bc technically those other boys are more katsuki's friends than Izuku's but their parents made them go anyway bc it was the nice thing to do

oftentimes the rest of the party would end up with the boys playing with Izuku's new toys (which made him a lil upset but his mom says he should share and not be selfish and besides, these are his friends, he wants them to like him, so its whatever. it is) and also playing Heroes (this is the one of the few times Izuku is allowed to play a hero with katsuki (bc theres no way in heck katsuki would play a villain) and Izuku LIVES for it)

usually the other boys will leave and katsuki will spend the night. this is always the best part for Izuku because, while katsuki does keep showing off, it's almost softer in a way, like the fact that it's just the two of them, alone, with the rest of the world shut out makes katsuki relax and unwind. izuku doesnt understand why katsuki isnt like this all the time. he doesnt know how to ask, either.

this of course ends with his fifth birthday. the months following his fourth, he eagerly awaits the arrival of his quirk, but it never shows. a week after his fifth birthday (which had been even more awkward and embarrassing since his quirk still hadn't manifested), he is diagnosed. and, well, nobody wanted to go to his party after that.

the kids thought he was weird and lame and the parents were afraid their own kids would hurt him somehow if they were to come over, because they all believed the quirkless to be weak and fragile. this of course also meant that none of the kids were allowed to invite him over to their parties, the only exception being katsuki's. and then katsuki fell off a log into a shallow river and izuku tried to help him up and, well.

he still invites people, oh yes. the first few years, he makes little invitation cards drawn in all might colors and an enthusiastic "you're invited!" on the front. inko, the sweetheart, helps put them in envelopes and carefully stored them in Izuku's backpack and Izuku passes them out. the first time no one shows, izuku is devastated. the second time, after yet another year of being downgraded and belittled and beaten and ignored, he is still devastated, but he is not surprised. the third time, it aches and aches and aches, and he decides he's not going to make cards anymore. it's just a waste of time and paper.

inko tried so very hard. those first few birthdays After were completely unsalvageable, but after the third (when Izuku accepted no one would come) they got better. izuku was still sad and inko was still guilty, but they always had a lovely time with katsudon and cake and all might specials. sometimes, his dad would even remember to call and wish him a happy birthday. izuku was- well, not happy, but content. he had his mother. he had his conviction, his dream. what else could he need?

(he steadfastly ignored the longing, the ache. nothing he could do would fix it so there was no point in dwelling on it. it was stupid to feel that way anyway. his birthday was just another day of the week, the month, the year. it didnt matter. he shouldnt feel so bad about it. it didnt matter)

he didn't even think about telling all might his birthday. by the time he was 14 going on 15, he didnt really care about it. it had just been a day he got a gift or two from his mother, his favorite dinner, and a night spent rewatching all might documentaries or movies or interviews. you know, like basically every night, but like, older this time. so he doesnt mention it and all might never brought it up, so his 15th birthday comes and goes like every other birthday did after his 8th.

the truth of the matter was all might figured Izuku would mention it at some point during his training, like offhandedly saying he had to get home early so he could have a celebration, or make small talk about what he'd gotten, or even ask for the day off. but Izuku never did and all might felt too awkward to ask when it was (he didnt want to seem too eager to shower young Izuku with presents like something deep inside him begged for with a vengeance, even though he very much wanted to give Izuku literally anything he asked for. it is a troubling feeling), so all might just assumed his birthday hadn't come up yet.

then all might finally gets a look at Izuku's file, since all might is now a teacher, and sees 07/15/XXXX written and probably breaks the speed of sound with how quickly he calls izuku

"why didnt you tell me about your birthday!!" "wh- I mean- it's just not that big of a deal, I didnt think it was-" "NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL???"

he takes Izuku out to a very belated and nice birthday dinner and has to force an incredibly rare piece of decommissioned all might merch from his early days into Izuku's hands. despite his embarrassment and initial reluctance, that day is ranked in the top ten of his favorite days.

izuku doesnt learn his lesson, however, and neglects to tell his newly acquired friends about his date of birth. the only reason they find out is because all might, having been passing them by at the end of the school day, wished him a happy birthday.

"IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY????" "uraraka please its not a big deal-" "I have to disagree midoriya, today should be special!" "I mean, I dont think birthdays are all that important either" "THANK YOU todoroki"

(and then Izuku thinks for 2 seconds WHY Todoroki thinks birthdays are unimportant and gets sad again but we're not focusing on that rn)

ochako DEMANDS that they celebrate bc theres no way in hell she's allowing her best friend to go without a birthday celebration with friends, but Izuku insists that they at least wait until summer vacation starts in less than a week, especially since he cant just come home with three friends without telling his mom

ochakos like >:( for a second, but concedes bc that's fair and then she launches herself at Izuku and gives him a big ole hug and says "happy birthday!!!" izuku's all sputtering and blushing, and then he feels a hand on either arm and Iida and Todoroki give him warm smiles and wish the same and it takes a good five minutes for his face to calm down and for him to come out from behind his arms once Ochako releases him.

so he tells his mom that his friends want to come over to celebrate soon and inko is just like 😭😭😭😭😭 because FINALLY her boy has GOOD FRIENDS who want to CELEBRATE HIM and Izuku freaks out cuz his mom is crying but she waves him off and tells him to tell the dekusquad that they can come over on saturday and that they can spend the night and that they'll have a wonderful time!!!

izuku relays two-thirds of that information in their group chat and they all agree and then basically Izuku is dreading the weekend bc the few birthday parties he's had with his "friends" before hadn't been all that great (besides the sleepover part with katsuki, though their current animosity kinda makes the memories bittersweet), and like, while he knows objectively Ochako, iida, and Todoroki are Much Better than those boys from his childhood, he just doesnt have a good frame of reference for how these things go.

anyway, so Saturday comes around and Izuku is just listlessly lazing around while his mother finishes cooking ("let me help you mom-" "nuh uh, this is for YOUR celebration mister, you arent doing a THING today), and then theres an enthusiastic knock on his door, and when he goes and opens it his friends greet him with yet another cheer of "happy birthday deku/midoriya!!"

izuku smiles because its sweet even if he doesnt particularly care about birthdays, and invites them in. they set their presents on the table and Izuku's like "you didnt have to!!" and Ochako's like "NONSENSE" and Iida is like "how could we show up at your birthday celebration without presents???" and todoroki's like "any chance to spend endeavour's money on things he wouldnt like is a chance I will never not take" and Izuku is just like akdjajdhajsb when his mom finally comes and greets them

and like. it's nice. it's really really REALLY freaking nice. Izuku didnt realize how much he was actually missing having people with him in his home besides his mom until they were there. there's a wonderful warmth filling his chest as they all eat his mother's homemade katsudon and talk about school and how excited they are for the upcoming summer trip. and when heroes come up, they ask him about different quirks and how they work and what he thinks of this hero and that hero and the only time he's interrupted from his tangents is when he stops himself because he's embarrassed for talking for so long. and then they smile and prompt him some more, saying they love hearing him talk about the stuff that interests him, and can anyone really blame him for bursting into tears?

his friends are alarmed but his mom just smiles, tearing up herself, and she asks if he'd like a big hug, and he nods, face burning bright, and then they all gather him in a warm, enveloping embrace, and he wonders how in the hell he survived without this for so long?

he's so warm and loved and for the first time in forever he feels happy during his birthday celebration.

his 16th birthday party is so incredibly different from the parties he held before he was diagnosed and from the birthdays he spent with only his mother. he'd forgotten that feeling of being cared for by people who didnt need to, or rather he'd never really known it. there's a slight twinge that it took so long for him to learn this feeling, but it's completely overshadowed by the pure elation he feels at finally being able to breathe and relax and let himself be loved.

his friends still look concerned and they obviously have questions, but they dont pry as they all continue with the party. he opens their presents and cries again and then they watch a ton of hero movies and he cries a little more. iida worries he'll dehydrate himself and Ochako fuckin loses it and Todoroki has such a soft look on his face and GOD how has Izuku lived without friends? without THEM?

it's late when they turn in, with futons and mountains of pillows and blankets surrounding them on the living room floor. izuku is nestled between Ochako and Todoroki, and he stares at the ceiling as his friends doze around him. he can feel his heart beating in his chest and, with amusement, he feels his eyes watering again, but he blinks the tears away and whispers thickly, "hey guys?" once he gets sleepy questioning murmurs, he breathes in deeply and says, "thank you." in response Ochako and Todoroki schooch closer until they're cuddled on either arm and Izuku can see Iida doing the same on the other end of ochako. then Ochako mumbles, "anything for you, deku" to which the other two boys agree. and Izuku tries to not get choked up and fails again, but its okay, because its safe here and his friends are surrounding him with warmth and love and Izuku falls asleep happy.

(their second year they have another party, of course, but this one is bigger, with the whole class. it's in the dorm, which is fine bc he doesnt think his mom's apartment could hold all of them. it's just as wonderful as his 16th birthday. he managed to hold his tears back during nearly the entire thing, and the only reason he broke was because katsuki came up to him with a perfectly wrapped box, because everything katsuki does is perfect, and shoved it into his hands with a growled well wishes. katsuki yells at him and the class laughs good heartedly as he weeps, but Izuku is just focused on katsuki, who looks soft and relaxed and nearly identical to the version of him that Izuku saw so, so long ago. and as Izuku thanks him for the present and katsuki berates him cuz "you dont even know what it is yet you idiot open it already", izuku feels a new happiness bubbling up in him, because he's so incredibly glad katsuki has been able to heal as well)

[yyxgin]

no bar!! never fret about replying late. i know what it’s like to not want to talk to anyone. honestly. i won’t call it (my experience) a depressive episode bc one of my friends used to brush off me when i was saying things like i’m depressed and say ‘sad’ instead. like if i were to say ‘that made me/i am depressed’ she’d say something like ‘oh god same! like if it’s making you sad,, don’t do it.’ which is a v poor example of what she did but i never called it depressed after that bc she pissed me off n was disregarding of my feelings (even though she’s incredibly anxious herself) bc i didn’t get it officially diagnosed. idk if you’ve ever read about birth control pills but i always read on tumblr people calling them literal depression pills and i ignored it, thinking either 1) people were being dramatic / were over-dramatising it or 2) it wouldn’t happen to me anyway. it fucking happened and they were not being dramatic. i was never happy n always working on minimal sleep n making self depreciating jokes all the time bc it was the only way i could cope with my thoughts n constant mood swings. so what i’m trying to say is,, i know how it feels. if that’s any consolation. it’s not me trying to be ‘oh me too!’ or ‘mine was worse than you’ it’s just me being understanding n telling you it’s okay. also lemme at your friends!! i’ll stomp them out n get the barman to run them over for you!! they’re so mean to forget you!! i find that deciding i want to do something specific n then asking the appropriate people if they want to do saïd thing/place works for me. it can be a simple ‘we should do this, when are you free?’ helps. making it known that you want to do things helps. or aggressively remind them that it’s nice to be asked bc it means they thought of you even if you couldn’t go n tried to include you. or we can revisit me stomping them out w my beloved barman,,, whatever works best for you my dear <3

admittedly me and one of the girls were discussing that we are going to miss our manager. even though literally everyone moaned about her (i feel like it’s impossible to avoid in literally any job/situation) she did have her moments and she did a lot for the staff like after work-drinks, asking the chefs if we could order off of the customer menu instead of the staff menu or whatever they cook in bulk for everyone to take home in the evening. apparently she did this a lot more than the previous manager. she has a good heart but sometimes she ignored some of the girls when we ask for days off or our availability for the week which was very annoying of her. it could’ve been a lot worse, i suppose, but overall she wasn’t terrible.

thé lady who lives in my town and drops me given the chance, told me the other night that she used to be the duty manager. i asked her why she stopped and she explained that when they furloughed everyone they asked her to come back on like half pay or something? idk i just remember it being explained as they wanted her to come back sooner and take away her furlough so she said no and got demoted. but somehow she still gets some of the furlough? idk i have been taught that asking how much or discussing specifics of paychecks kind of thing is rude, growing up. she has been telling me they keep asking her to come back (now they’re asking her to be a supervisor since she declined the manager role) and she keeps saying no. i love her and want the best for her so i won’t say anything to anyone about the conversations me and her have had (i mean, apart from maybe my mum if i can remember, and you bc, let’s be real, you don’t know me and idk you) and she says they’re just difficult to work with as a management team. she even said our area manager isn’t impressed with our current assistant manager (who is currently the only person on an houred contract since our manager left) which shocked me since i personally think he is quite good considering he has a good relationship with the staff and kitchen (he’s thai so he can communicate with the kitchen better than most of the wait staff (some wait staff are thai but mostly not)) i think she doesn’t want to be the eldest person in management or she doesn’t want the age gap to be so big since she has a kid she can lecture at home, she doesn’t need to be looking after people at work, y’know?

also today, me and one of the girls were upstairs (two floors of the restaurant!) and it’s nearing 11pm and her brother (who also works there) comes up and asks us when we’re finishing (mostly her lol) but we had two tables just sitting talking amongst themselves so she just said idk. he was saying he wanted to go bc he’s tired etc n he’s driving n she was like it’s fine go home i’ll call an uber or something n he was refusing to leave her behind. (i feel like i brushed over the two tables sitting there but it must be noted they’re the only tables left in the entire restaurant and we were the only two wait staff still there, apart from her brother but he changed and was waiting downstairs). anyway, she was sweeping (i was cleaning the booth/sofa thingy chairs as it was a mundane task we could do to pass time and while she was sweeping by one of the tables thé boyfriend was whispering to his girlfriend saying ‘should we go?’ and the girlfriend said ‘why should i care?’ and the girl came over to tell me v quietly and i got so upset for her. bc she is literally the sweetest person on the earth and the only reason i didn’t go to ask the manager to see if i could go home with the lady who offers to take me (ex-duty manager lady!) was so she wasn’t alone up there. if i had been the one sweeping near that table i would’ve snapped so fucking hard at them. i mean, we’re 18 and have lives and sleep schedules, and we’re working until 11pm on a thursday before we even get home?? like i wouldn’t have minded staying if they were reasonable tables but after the gf said that i was like ‘shall i go get our stuff from the staff room?’ so i could split as fast as possible. in the end the temporary acting manager came up and told us we could finish and she kicked the tables out ten minutes later. i told her what the table saïd and she thought that was mean and unnecessary too. i was also worried about my sleep tonight since i have my first vaccine tomorrow morning. that’s why i was more pressed about what time i left work today. oh well.

im sorry for talking so much about work! sometimes i don’t have someone to talk to about it (at home) bc of my weird hours and sometimes i don’t like re-explaining things to my mum if she doesn’t get it the first seven times. sometimes it’s just a little too draining as she doesn’t understand since she’s a lifer at her job. it’s easier to explain to my dad but then i get a whole lecture on something that i ultimately have no control over n id rather just bitch w the girls at work but the problem is WE’RE AT WORK!!!

also i booked for my first tattoo!! i’m excited. it’s for next week,, which was super quick considering i was expecting to have to wait soooo much longer. i’ve been telling people about it and that it’s happening but i haven’t had the pleasure of telling people exactly where i got the idea from. bar, my dear, you know wheein’s new album, redd? well, it comes with loads of things, including these stickers (one for each song) and the one from springtime was just so perfect and when i saw it my first thought was, this would be a perfect tattoo. and so i am having it tattooed on my body. a subtle nod to kpop whilst also having something meaningful on my body. i also have just decided i want a small, minimalistic (or one-line art) rose on my sternum, kind of in the valley of my breasts, bc my nan was a rose. i like having her close to me. i recently got her necklace fixed which has left me feeling so incomplete after it broke in august last year. it’s been almost ten years and i think i’m long overdue something to remind me of her. i fiddle with my necklace when i’m nervous which is why i love it so much but incase it breaks again (i pray it doesn’t but i have a long life ahead of me) i would like her close still.

gosh there’s never enough space in my head to remember what i want to tell you so i’ll stop here for now since i should sleep to be able to wake up in time for my first jab. i’m scared but it’s whatever i’ll do it i suppose,, eeek 😨

ilyl ~ 🌻

thank you so much for opening up to me about this, it means a lot to me :( i am so sorry you had to go through this and honestly,, i really resonate with you. i feel like when i talk about my emotions and my sadness (dont know if its okay to call it depression either but yea), my friend either always either makes me feel like my emotions arent valid or she tells me she doesnt know how to help, which is frankly, why i dont talk about my emotions to people irl anymore. i dont open up and it takes me a long long time to do so if i ever do, because i tend to feel insecure/not safe :D so really, thank you for telling me and i hope you are doing better. your emotions are valid and i am always here for you 

HAHAHA i mean i dont have many friends so theres not many to stomp on:( but i mean,, i get passive aggressive when i feel forgotten/left out so you best believe i told my friend how im feeling, but like uhhh it didnt do much. i spent the whole weekend at work and i was free on friday but my friend decided to ditch me and yeah. i havent been out in like two weeks now and i mean i am an introvert so i dont mind that much but even i want to socialise sometimes

aah i mean every manager has their flaws, no one’s perfect. my manager keeps calling me to go to work even though i was literally there for 11 hours on saturday AND sunday which means i worked for 20 hours in two days. and i work 20 hours a week at max. and i already worked some hours before the weekend so i think i have like 30 hours now and she keeps calling??? dude i need a break too,,i am so exhausted and tired of this shit :dd

oh i totally get what the lady that drops you off sometimes told you. i would feel a little iffy if i heard it too, but like,,,judge by your own experiences!! if you feel like something is off, you can always leave,, so i wouldn’t be so stressed about it.

why are people so rude ??? dude,,you should care, because we are all human. everyone has their needs and their lives and i bet he wouldnt like it if he was the one in your place. why should you stay there longer just because he didnt want to leave?? that was so unnecessary. people are weird beings and i learnt that after working with them this weekend,,,like i litereally got screamed at because i couldnt accept cash in different currency. like,,what tf do you want me to do?? i dont have every single currency with me so i could give u the change ?? tf ??

ALSO ITS OKAY TALK ABOUT YOUR WORK HOWEVER MUCH YOU WANT !!!! i also feel like i dont have anyone to talk to about work bc my parents dont listen to me as much as they used to these days and my friend unsurprisingly just doesnt care bc she doesnt work,, and i dont wanna talk to my internet friends abt it as much bc i feel annoying so i am glad us two can talk about these things together !!!! 

YOUR FIRST TATTOOOO WHOAAAH thats so cool. i love tattoos hihi dfkja idk if u already had the appointment but tell me how it went after !! i wasnt able to find the sticker on the internet but im sure it looks hella pretty. also i love how it reminds you both of kpop and your grandma, its wonderful <3 i really want to get a tattoo one day,, and i also want something meaningful (not that i am hating on people that tattoo themselves just for fun and have no meaning behind their tattoos i just have commitment issues so i want something long lasting). alSO my crush (yes i have a crush now ew) has a tattoo and it looks like satan lowkey,,but apparently its a japanese something (i forgot the word oopsies) and it means jealousy, bad past and wisdom ?? i was like BOY IF U DONT??? fjdkla he has blue hair btw i am very much whipped but he also doesnt know me and i am older than him so this is embarrassing

ALSO I HOPE YOURE FEELING WELL AFTER GETTING THE VACCINE !!! 

ily <333

[thelaudown]

hyouka poly slowburn so its like: (post-anime)

satoshi and mayaka are dating all through highschool and houtarou and eru are maybe a little more invested than friends would normally be, and step in when they have problems to a degree that regular people would call a boundary issue.

houtarou and mayaka still give each other shit at every opportunity, but theyre much more outwardly friendly than before, and if she ever argues w satoshi houtarou is the first to say that theres no way its her fault. maybe one time it is and he confronts her abt it in a way that forces her to take him seriously. its the respect and codependency for me. 

mayaka and satoshi have functioning eyes and houtarous feelings for eru are completely obvious to them. unfortunately shes a little harder to read, so they never really get further than being very close friends and committing to being together for the foreseeable future, as far as this road will take them - its the same dynamic for the entire friend group, but satoshi starts seriously considering a proposal in third year. 

he and mayaka will be seperated through college - she wants to go to art school, he thinks he might like to be a teacher (specifically of like, textiles or language) and he thinks long distance is too much to ask of her. after a serious conversation she agrees and they take a break through college, but they are tentatively engaged, will be keeping in touch, and want to pick things back up once theyre both in the same location again. 

mayaka and eru flat in college, bringing up mayakas long buried feelings for her, and theyve always been so touchy, and she has a feeling that erus guilty about something? but she doesnt want to get her hopes up. she gets really frustrated and confides in the only person who knows both satoshi and mayaka and isnt involved - HOUTAROU, who attends a less prestigious college than eru but is taking similar business courses (he hasnt forgotten) and is commuting from home. 

hes closer to them than satoshi, but theres still a little distance and they dont meet as often as theyd like, partially bc he doesnt often make the effort - the energy he does have is expended on his classes, bc he has a motivation to do well - if he does, maybe eru will consider him without him even putting himself out there. anyway she still calls him on the phone all the time tho. 

he doesnt really have any advice when mayaka speaks to him, but hes quick to reassure her that satoshi wouldnt be bothered by her feelings - "because its eru". functioning adults refer to each other by their first names. it was a super embarassing transition period but theyre used to it now. 

so mayaka takes the leap and eru admits that while shes never really been one to dwell on romantic feelings, she reciprocates but is concerned abt satoshi - she loves him too, after all, and he and mayaka were/are/will be a great couple. she ends up confessing this to houtarou, filled w apologies and assurances that he neednt worry abt her personal matters, but he doesnt mind listening. anyway it stings (in a sad way, not a bitter one) that she apparently has interest in both mayaka and satoshi but not him, but he REALLY cant blame her. he tells her that he doesnt know how to advise her and she thanks him for listening, and then he does probably the most meddlesome thing hes ever done and calls satoshi and tells him everything. 

satoshi is really cool abt it, and hits him w "lol if theyre dating what if i just take you out to lunch. fairs fair. what do you mean you dont know about my massive crush on you, mr observer didnt pick it up? oh wow okay youre really stupid when it comes to yourself. ill pick you up on friday" and then satoshi calls mayaka and gives her his blessing and assures that he loves them both and wishes them the best and wow they REALLY need to catch up soon. hell bring houtarou and they can compare date notes! and he hangs up. 

satoshi is still kind of a petty guy and he probably only confessed to houtarou bc he was taken off guard, but hes not being inauthentic by any means. this is the new improved satoshi 2.0, who is becoming more comfortable w there being things he doesnt like abt himself and working on them and getting his feelings out constructively, rather than pushing them down and refusing to put himself in situations that might turn out badly. he gets his hopes up again, and is happier for it even when hes let down. 

eru is shocked to hear abt houtarou and satoshi. mayaka isnt. they talk abt it, interspersed w making out, and are shocked to realise that they like both of them - mayaka is ESPECIALLY taken off guard, both by her own feelings and erus, which shed never noticed before. she almost tells eru abt houtarous 3+ years of pining, but stops herself lest things get messy. shes starting to get an idea, but needs to tread lightly. besides, its not like houtarou wld ever like her. theyre barely even friends. it doesnt all add up as evenly as shed like. 

for houtarous part, hes genuinely in wtf mode irt satoshis feelings for him, and hes been in eru chitanda hell for so long that he never considered anything else, but now that he IS.... satoshi isnt so bad. he was always really cute w mayaka, when he wasnt being annoying for fun and profit. sure. okay. so they do some gay double dating through college, but the cross couple pining dont stop. satoshi is absolutely still obsessed w mayaka, but houtarou doesnt mind bc he cant take his eyes off eru whenever they meet up either. 

she still calls him on the phone all the time, and when schoolwork picks up he often finds himself calling her w thoughts or questions. they do some more thought exercises, but they dont need to argue as an excuse, and she barely has to badger him anymore. one day he looks at himself and sees a functioning adult who spends a moderate amount of energy on things that arent necessarily necessary, and wants to sigh, but. hes happy. 

college ends and they all find themselves back in kamiyama - satoshi is student teaching at their old middle school, eru is hard at work for her family, mayaka is working while she works on her manga debut, and houtarou is working while he figures out what he actually wants. 

its clear to all of them that mayaka and satoshi need to have a talk, so they do, and they come up with... poly. its unconventional, but they really are happy, and they really do love each other, and mayaka would love to start wearing her ring again (satoshi never took his off, and she pretended not to notice but she had the biggest lady boner over it). 

so now sometimes eru and houtarou are hanging out while their boyfriend and girlfriend are out on dates being engaged, making up for lost time and considering the practicality of marriage while they both have sidepieces, and houtarou and eru are pining BAD, but neither notices the other and he asks how her business is going and maybe kind of offers his assistance platonically. 

so now THATS happening, and satoshi and mayaka get to talking one day abt how those two should date, shld we do smth? and if they did then the only pieces missing are mayaka/houtarou and satoshi/eru which is a beautiful dream but wld never happen, what do you mean he/she wld love to date you, wait really, oh my god, what, are we doing this, 

and houtarou who has been working himself up to confessing for the past SEVEN YEARS, never gets to bc satoshi and mayaka interrupt while theyre at work and do it for him 

[cowboyshit]

@adampage tumblr did a dumbass thing and messed up the read-more to where I couldn’t put it under one so I had to delete your ask and I’m making a separate post for this disaster of a ramble hoooo boy i hope you’re ready for what you’ve unleashed

adampage  asked: ma’am I know you’re high off your rocker but if you have time would you please critique hangman’s playlist for me bc I want to know your thoughts 🥰 anyway yeehaw

OH MY GOD yes???? yes I fucking WILL?????? let’s just pump the breaks on what i was doing right the fuck now, get his playlist in front of me (even though ive been listening to it nonstop and have so many things to ALREADY SAY) and talk about this shit. im sorry if this isn’t coherent im pry just gonna ramble. (edit to add now that I’m done: ITS FREAKING 3252 WORDS LONG LMAO OH MY GOD)

first and foremost. I Love It. let’s just slap that down. get that out of the way. ITS SO GOOD. SO FUCKING GOOD. also this is going under a readmore cause YEAH. it’s THAT LONG.

let’s start first with mr. adam ‘i taught graphic design when i was 20 and learned adobe illustrator and photoshop to design my own tshirts when i was an indie wrestler’ page’s cover image. wait. no. back up - look at the profile image he chose for his profile. it’s not a selfie. it’s not a picture he snapped with his camera. it’s a screenshot of the “has been drinking” moment on aew dynamite. what a lovable FOOL. he really saved that and put that as his profile pic im skjdfkjfd okay now swing back to the anxious millenial design with the signed hangman adam page for the cover. he designed that. I swear he did. I swear he did that. I could be wrong but I just feel it in my bones. that was him. also, THAT should have been the vintage shirt. cowboy shit is cute but ANXIOUS MILLENNIAL COWBOY? I NEED THAT AS THE SHIRT!

okay now let’s get into the songs. wait. before i go through it I do want to say something about the playlist overall.

I can’t decide if this is because he shares so many similarities to the character hangman adam page, but so many of these songs apply to his character like, this fucking playlist plays like a hangman adam page THE CHARACTER playlist. like this is the playlist i’d find on 8tracks back when that was the “thing” in fandom where every song makes me go “OMG THAT IS THAT CHARACTER” like. I don’t know if he did that purposefully as an extension of the character? or if it just happens to line up because of how similar he is and his story is to his character but SOME of these songs wooooo boy they get deep dont they? when you compare them to the character?

okay. songs.

so I know some of these, especially the classics, summertime of course, but for the ones I didn’t know I love them so much. they have such a vibe that just fits him, and they’re all so good???

rather low by nick shoulders is one I didn’t know and I fucking LOVE it. and look. it goes from Long Time Gone by the Dixie Chicks. Long Time Gone about being away from the country life, from home and if my THEORY is right about this playlist hitting the character, hangman is struggling with being lost, without a family. it goes from that to rather low, which talks about not being welcome at home. like “I told you once I told you twice, I’m steeped in verse and cursed in vice” ajdskjds GOOD lyrics. beat slaps. song slaps. I love it.

okay so we go roll on mississippi which is soft compared to the two upbeat songs that just hit us before. calms you down after that high energy beat rather low had. lets you breathe. AND it’s got a sad, soft, longing pull to it, falling in with more of those “lost” from home themes. “You're the childhood dream that I grew up on. Roll on Mississippi, carry me home. Now I can see I've been away too long.” UGH! and also, it’s just a good fucking song.

then we go to a song i haven’t heard and love, going places by aubrie sellers. it’s a little bit funkier, but still soft. also groovy as FUCK. and it obv talks about GOING places. so maybe the first three songs were about the home he’s left behind, but now it’s about where he’s going. and man this song just SLAPS.

A CLASSIC is next, 1970 something illegal smile by john prine. it has that classic soft croon, such a good country sound and it’s a little bit playful. it makes you wanna smile and sway back and forth. it’s a good song. fun. but it’s almost a little bit. dark? “ Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone. No, I'm just tryin' to have me some fun. Well, I sat down in my closet with all my overalls, tryin' to get away from all the ears inside my walls. I dreamed the police heard everything I thought, what then?” it just makes me think of when his character “killed” joey ryan. I could be looking too far into it but, that’s what popped into my head.

OKAY NOW this next one. fuck yeah I DIG this song. I hadn’t heard this song and it quickly went into my liked songs. and if we’re following his character, the lyrics hit HARD. “ I've lost the will to try this worthless lullaby. Its melody won't fly me past oblivion. I bet it would be nice to find that paradise, a world of sparkling light beyond the setting sun. But I don't dream anymore” ugh !!!!!!! UGGGHH!! SO GOOD?? and even the slight upbeat to it. “would if I could but I don’t dream anymore” uuuuggghhh SO GOOD. love this song. one of my faves of the whole list for sure.

the next two back-to-back are CLASSICS and fit the hangman adam page character so damn perfect. i’ve even looked at lyrics from merle haggard’s i don’t want to sober up to night for adam in the past akjfdkjdsf it’s fucking perfect. and then followed by dwight yoakam’s honky tonk man?! amazing. we go from from fucking heart-wrenching lyrics if you think about them for him: “ I don't want to sober up tonight. I don't want to act like things are alright, and I don't want to change just to make you think I'm happy. That's my right, I don't want to sober up tonight. I want to keep my mind a little hazy. I don't care if all my friends think I'm crazy. The way I treat myself I might be a little crazy But that's alright, I don't want to sober up tonight. I'm here to drown another day of misery. I'm in here to spend one night without a mem'ry and the way I'm drinking now there won't be any memory. But it's alright, I don't want to sober up tonight” to HONKY TONK MAN. HONKY. TONK. MAN. “ Well I'm a honky tonk man and I can't seem to stop. I love to give the girls a whirl to the music of an old jukebox, but when my money's all gone, I'm on the telephone singing, hey hey mama can your daddy come home?” ajhsdjksdjkf like. look. partying hangman, drunk, swinging a girl around in the country bar???? cause he refused to sober up and just wanted to have fun? anyways regardless if there’s a connection or if im reaching, these are some good classics to pull out right here. honky tonk man will ALWAYS bring the party back up.

another song I didn’t know but now love? happy reunion by colter wall? this is a good freaking cowboy song??? and it’s a cute story???? about what a cowboy does during his day??? what the fuck? riding along the range with his dog, helping the cow, getting the calf back that’d gotten lost???? CUTE? anyways this is a vibin as HELL song and if it’d come out when I was still raising cows my ass woulda been blasting this shit as I drove to feed the herd for SURE. this song is a whole ass vibe and I’m digging it.

okay. walk through fire by yola? another i didn’t know (which - so far it seems all the songs that arent classics - spare dixie chicks - are from 2019) and I am obsessed with???? it’s so good? and fuck just such a good love song??? “Standing on the side of the river. Staring across the great divide. I'd give all my gold and silver just to get to the other side. Your love is like a rescue vessel, carries me through the night through these flames of destruction. I know you're gonna make it right. I know, I know you're gonna save my life.“ LIKE? HENLO????????? FUCK!!!! THATS SO GOOD. that whole song I could post all the lyrics tbh. and the way she CROONS it ugh. yeah. I love that song.

FUCKIN YES. DOLLY FUCKIN PARTON. youre not gonna make a country playlist and not include a dolly parton song boy i KNOW IT. and the song choice??? hm? remind you of a CERTAIN COWBOYS STRUGGLE WITH NOT HAVING A HOME???? “What difference does it make which way I go, got an empty feelin' down inside. Still I need to stay alive and who can tell what waits beyond this road. I'm a drifter” ajdfshjsd god I love dolly. and of COURSE he does too. i’m so pleased by this choice I can’t stop smiling. ugh. love this. love dolly.

sandpaper oneside, rubber other by the bobby tenderloin universe what do you know? another 2019 song I didn’t know and yet absolutely LOVE. I also am loving how he does a mix of classics with newer (but still almost classic-country sounding, maybe like. classic meets modern) country music in this playlist. AND WHAT A SONG. it’s so good? and again, just makes me think of the character. “there are two minds inside me. that’s one life too many. but i keep moving slow on both sides, strong as I can be.” tell me that doesnt make you think of hangman adam page. and it has such a... sad vibe. “i cant believe the things i am. as much a lion as a lamb” !!!!!!!!!!! ugh such a GOOD LINE. THAT SLAPS. LOVE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh this song. especially the back vocals of the woman that comes in later on? it’s like. ethereal. beautiful. fucking beautiful and almost haunting. paired with the sad lyrics? UGH. gorgeous.

long white line by sturgill simpson i do know and LOVE and it’s got a fun, uplifting cowboy beat following the more slow, sad croon of the last song. it’s SO COUNTRY. the way it’s sung? SO COUNTRY. and also ajdfskjsd adam. “I woke up my baby was gone without her I don't need no home” and “Gonna' push this rig 'til I push that girl out of my mind. If somebody wants to know what's become of this so and so tell em' I'm somewhere looking for the end of that long white line” kjdjkfdkjf this is just such a country song, and it fits SO well, especially after that previous pick.

now we go from two new songs to another classic. another (i think) 1970s country hit. lonesome, on’ry and mean is SUCH a classic country song. it has that good old sound, and the story it tells too. and just, I can’t stop thinking about hangman just “ Been driving these highways, been doing things my way. It's been making me lonesome on'ry and mean.” ajdskjflkf it’s fair to say that character IS lonesome, on’ry and mean right now. anyways, fun country song regardless and I DIG the addition.

okay back to a newer song and holy shit. this is my personal favorite of the new songs he introduced me to. this song I LOVE this song. fuuun FUN beat, makes me want to fucking GROOVE. I love love love this, and I love the way the singer sings? it just makes me wanna UGH. just wanna sway to it. the whine in the croon I just love. and the BEAT. the beat is so fucking good. and the lyrics? “I'm that wholesome Midwestern boy that you want to bring home to your mama. Even though I bring you joy, baby I'm not the toy you wanna play with at night. Too many things I've seen. Too many people and places I've been. I'm thinking about doing those things I shouldn't be doing. Something I've never done before. I want something to fuck me up. Need somebody to fuck me up. Everyone feels like it. Fuck me up, fuck me up, fuck me up” ajdsjkds I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH “Well I might go and get drunk and stoned 'cause it's better than being only crazy. If I ever come back, wherever I end up at is where I was supposed to be.” it’s so perfect for his character it drives me crazy. this is a song I’d listen to and first, groove to, and then be like THIS SONG IS HANGMAN. love this song. absolutely a favorite.

the next song though. the next song. fucking hangman adam page and his love of biscuits. southern biscuits by seasick steve oh. my. god. this BOY. THIS COUNTRY BOY. THIS BISCUIT LOVIN COUNTRY BOY. this is such a damn good addition. not only is it so fucking country, almost. spoken/sung? the soft hum with the fucking banjo??? and of COURSE of course he knows and loves this song I can’t with him. and it hits you with the: “ Southern biscuits, nothin' better in the world 'less they're made for you, by your southern girl.” and I go UWU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

two new songs so guess what? classic time. BALANCE. HE’S KEEPING BALANCE. I swear he’s done this purposefully and I could be crazy I could be giving him more credit than is due but I swear he’s picked the arrangement of songs too. because this is too coincidental. so, we’ve got our classic livin on the run by david allan coe. what a DARK song to go with. about a man who murders a woman and lives on the run (again, can’t help but think of the joey ryan murder thing, but hey. that’s just me grasping for straws) regardless if it ties or not, it’s a good classic and it’s fun to croon to even if its uh. dark but sung like. upbeat? almost???

okay, another classic and, to me, one of the sexiest songs on this playlist. I fucking love this song. it’s sexy with an underlying of dark. she literally seduces and knocks the guy out and robs him blind and he’s STILL craving her summer wine like. this song is SO GOOD. so fucking good. the way the music swells with the storytelling is beautiful. “Strawberries cherries and an angel's kiss in spring, my summer wine is really made from all these things. Take off your silver spurs and help me pass the time, and I will give to you summer wine” is just so ajkdfskjdfs ugh i love this song

and guess what? two classics so we’re swinging to a newer song. left turn on a red light by blackfoot. oof. I didn’t know this song and it hit me, it’s so good and I know im saying that about all of them but Honestly. “ Sun shines down on the desert, and it seems to make my life a haze, and I dream of my childhood sweetheart,and the freedom that I had in those days.” UGH. “ Will I always be a rambler? Will the ones I love always keep tellin' me, "You stare too long in the mirror, son, someday you'll be too blind to see.” HELLO???? those lyrics? SO GOOD. and again applying them to hangman just makes me FERAL SCREAM.

cowboys and hippies by cody jinks is such a hangman song it’s almost unreal. if I was going to REALLY reach I’d say it almost reminds me of the way the crowd pulls him back. “At some old honkytonk bar that I know by the smell, some old drunk on a barstool on a Merle Haggard tune. That's my kind of room. Raising hell with the hippies and the cowboys. They don't care about no trends, they don't care about songs that sell. Yeah, tomorrow I'll be gone, so tonight everybody just sing along, raising hell with the hippies and the cowboys” GOOD LYRICS. this has the same sad undertones too as a lot of these songs have too.

ugh. I love him sincerely for this next one. blue skies is one of my favorite songs, but blue skies by willie nelson? YES. my grandpa used to play willie nelson ALL THE TIME and I love this version. an uplifting song to follow the heavier songs. I’d like to think of a hangman who has the blue skies from now on. all of his blue days gone. this song is such a classic (cover) that just. good pick. I love this.

alright, so we’ve got a classic but he’s chosen the version from bojack horseman which makes me think that might’ve been the first time he heard it, but that’s neither here nor there. stars is a BEAUTIFUL song. and boy am I happy we had blue skies before this cause fuck. how sad? how emotional?????? “People lust for fame like athletes in a game, we break our collarbones and come up swinging, some of us are downed some of us are crowned, and some are lost and never found” fuck. fuck fuck fuck. and the last two lines, thinking about hangman? “So if you don't lose patience with my fumbling around, I'll come up singing for you, even when I'm down.” FUCK. my HEART. good pick but OUCH. good but ow.

summertime by orville peck is next BLESS finally an orville song I was gonna lose it on him if he put a playlist and DIDN’T include an orville song. interesting though he went with summertime, the newest, and not any of the ones off pony. but! it follows stars well. its soft, lull, and the lyrics are so hangman now that I put it in this context. “Catch 'em by surprise and chasin' the horizon, nothing holds me down. Askin', "Where the time's gone?" Dreamin' with the lights on, tryna keep your eyes on something along the rise" anyways I know YOU know this song well it’s so fucking good. has that same soft pull a lot of these songs have. the way that chorus swells though? the secondary vocals??? ugh. yeah this was a great choice, I’m glad he went with summertime. it fits the vibe of this playlist so well.

we’re ending on a song with such a country sound to it (i mean all of these do), a bit more upbeat, a bit more funky. “Some say I'm a wild man, drink too much nectar from the corn” and also “Oh the school, it wasn't for me. I earned my stripes a different way I learned to sing harmony and go play out on the stage” definitely makes me think of hangman for SURE. it’s a funky song to end on, and if you keep listening to the playlist on repeat like I do, it even falls into long time gone really well.

and of course this is assuming you’re meant to listen to them one after the other and not on shuffle. I’m sure it still works on shuffle but I LOVE the flow of this playlist listening to it one after the other.

love this whole playlist. and my identifying it with the character could TOTALLY be reaching, but of course I’m going to think of him and analyze his selection of *these* songs specifically to put out to all of us. out of EVERY song he likes. he didn’t include... hmm cowboy take me away, for example? shoulda been a cowboy??? the vibe of the overall playlist FITS “anxious millenial cowboy” it has an underbelly of sadness to it. and I dig the fuck out of that.

overall 10/10 I love this fucking playlist thank you goodnight

[inadeepanddarkdecember]

･ﾟ: *✧ lost nights✧*:･ﾟ

[[ I highly recommend listening to this playlist while you read! Pasting it ugly-style too because my theme is fucking up the link for anyone trying to click through on my blog. ]]

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMBzl7puwIYLutdI5atf5UWYVi0RAbq1F

Cyrus’s knee bounced as he waited, impatiently listening to the sounds outside his bedroom door. His curfew had passed hours ago, but he was still fully awake. Fully dressed. Waiting. His phone buzzed, and his hand lashed out like a whip to grab it.

[Thomas, 1:34 AM:] Is she gone yet?

[Sent, 1:35 AM] No not yet.

[Thomas, 1:35 AM:] I can go if you don’t think you can make it.

[Sent, 1:36 AM] Just give me a few more minutes. She cant be up much longer.

After a few minutes passed with no response, he set his phone back down. It was faint–if he wasn’t listening this closely, he would have missed it–but he could still hear the sounds of the tv coming from the living room. His mother had already showered; as best he could tell, she had already finished her nightly routines, but of course, it had to be tonight that she procrastinated on sleep. What was she even doing awake? It was a Thursday; she had work in the morning. He had school as well, but he had given up on sleeping for the night as a consequence of his plans. He could always nap.

He went through his mental checklist again: his backpack leaned on the wall across from him; he had removed anything unnecessary for tonight and replaced it with some snacks and, more importantly, his borrowed camera, instant camera, and a pack of film for the instant. It felt like so little, but Thomas had the blanket and Cyrus did always have the propensity to overpack and overprepare. His jackets hung by the door, and he was already wearing his spare pair of shoes so he could just grab his jackets and go. His keys were in his jacket pocket, and his phone was, of course, beside him. He had refilled his water bottle. That should be everything.

He froze when he realized the tv had stopped. Sometime during his mental review, his mother had shut off the television. He picked up his phone.

[Sent, 1:48 AM] Shes gone. Be right out.

He gave it another minute, listening hard, and when he didn’t hear anything, he stood at last, stretched, and threw on his backpack.

Thomas and his car idled a small distance from Cyrus’s apartment complex, and in short order, Cyrus himself appeared, climbing into the passenger seat. His escape had gone smoothly; he threw his backpack on the ground, buckled his seatbelt, and immediately started zipping himself into his two jackets.

“There you are,” said Thomas as he returned the car to life and pulled away from the curb. “Any later, and we might have missed the meteor shower.”

Cyrus looked over, eyes wide and alarmed, but before he could say anything, Thomas laughed and held up a hand. “Kidding, kidding. We’re gonna be fine.”

Cyrus’s shoulders slumped, and he shook his head with a wry little smile playing on his lips. “Asshole,” he murmured, good-natured. Comfortable and warming, he sunk into his seat and put his feet on the dash as Thomas continued talking.

“Do you mind if I put my tunes on today? I discovered this cool new band, Catfish and the Bottlemen, last week. Have you ever heard of them?”

“Go ahead. I don’t think I have.”

With his spare hand, Thomas pressed play on his phone, and the first song began to drift out through the car’s speakers. Through the car window, Cyrus watched the darkened houses fly by; they had left the urban areas, and now it was just endless suburbia, the same five homes in the same five shades of cream over and over and over and over again. After a minute or two, Cyrus asked, “So where are we going?”

“Oh, it’s this great place about an hour and a half outside the city–two hours from where we are now. It’s up on a bluff near the ocean–very windy there–off some rocky side roads. My dad took me there the first time I went, and I’ve been back a few times with some of my other friends. It’s great; you’ll love it.” He paused a moment to glance at Cyrus. “You might get cold though. You can borrow my windbreaker if you need it. My letterman should be enough for me. I have hotter blood than you, after all.”

“We’ve discussed this.” Cyrus’s tone was sharp, and Thomas’s teasing smile wavered into worry. Cyrus smirked. “I don’t have blood. I’m a vampire, remember?”

Thomas laughed, at once relieved and amused. “Yes, yes, of course. How can I forget?” His voice dipped into a dramatic tenor. “You’ve come to absorb my elven powers under the light of the new moon and the magic of the falling stars. Once you’ve sucked me dry, you’ll feed my body to the leviathan. I am naught but a witless pawn in your nefarious schemes, driving to my doom. Alas.”

He bowed his head for a moment, and Cyrus laughed. “It’s not your fault. None can resist my many, many, many charms. Even the most virtuous maiden falls before me.”

Thomas chuckled a little more as he shook his head, and his voice returned to a normal tone as he said, “I got you a coffee, by the way, in the cupholder. I know you usually prefer tea, but it’s going to be a long night; don’t want you falling asleep as soon as we get there.” He gestured toward the cup with a wiggle of his elbow.

“That might happen anyway.” Cyrus had taken a nice, long nap for most of the day to try to reduce any later sleepiness, but all-nighters had never been his strong suit. If no time else, he felt confident that he would end up asleep during the car ride back. Nevertheless, he picked up the indicated coffee cup and took a sip. Despite the wait from whenever Thomas had bought it to now, it was still warm–no longer hot, but still warm. It was soft, creamy, chocolatey, a little sweet: a mocha. While Cyrus could drink tea black, he much preferred milk and sugar to ease coffee’s intensity. He gave a small hum of approval as he took another sip. “Thanks.”

The pair lapsed into silence for a while, Cyrus sipping his coffee and both enjoying the music. Several songs passed, one Thomas identified as a Catfish and the Bottlemen song. When the music next changed, however, Cyrus raised and eyebrow and asked, “Is this All-American Rejects? It is, isn’t it?”

“What? They’re not that bad.”

“I’m judging you.” He took another sip of his coffee.

“You recognized them.”

“They were inescapable on the radio,” he said, making a show of a shudder.

Thomas rolled his eyes. “You can change it if you want.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll survive.” Cyrus’s teasing tone returned, faintly.

A smile touched Thomas’s lips as he shook his head. “Whatever you say.”

Cyrus’s attention drifted back out the window. The yards of the homes grew ever larger as they passed, one by one, and fields started to sprout up between them. Trees came down from the hillsides and slowly began to press in around the winding roads. Everything was still dark, dark, dark, and Cyrus kept glancing toward the sky, hoping to catch sight of a wayward falling star. The Lyrids weren’t supposed to come in earnest until the wee hours before dawn, but that didn’t stop him from looking. They were lucky: the skies were crystal clear tonight, and the further they traveled, the more they could see.

Soon, Thomas started talking again and pulled Cyrus back into conversation. He told Cyrus of his latest ventures in the haunted dressing room, updated him on the drama of the runaway actor, complained bitterly about the injustice of some music company or another, and rambled about his newest favorite thing in history, the Ghost Army of WWII. Cyrus, in turn, listened more than anything, but also offered his thoughts on all these things and spoke of the book he’s been reading and complained about what, he swore, was the worst movie he’d seen in a very long time.

The miles and minutes passed unnoticed, rivers of asphalt stretching out behind them. Human habitation all but disappeared, and their car became the only source of warmth and light on the road. The dull roar of the ocean joined the background bass of all the music. The road decayed beneath them, from tar to gravel to packed dirt, and the trees closed out the sky. Eventually, they reached the end of the road.

“Alright. We have to walk the rest of the way. Don’t worry; it isn’t far,” said Thomas as he shifted the car into park. Both of them got up, gathered their various things, then set off down the trail. Cyrus had merely the jackets he wore and his backpack, whereas Thomas carried a large folded blanket in his arms and had thin duffel bag slung over his back. Cyrus thought about asking what was in the bag, but he decided he would learn soon enough and asked a different question: “How did your dad find this place?”

“You know, I never asked? This is private property, but I’ve never had any trouble from anyone. He was probably just exploring, but maybe he’s friends with the owner?” Thomas shrugged, and all Cyrus could do was shake his head.

It wasn’t much farther until the trees opened up, forestry giving way to grassland and raw cliff. Waves roared against the stone, and the scent of sea spray filled the air. The sky yawned far above them, swirls of stars and light visible that had been long masked by the urban glow, and Thomas jogged a little ahead to lay out the blanket. “This is it!”

“It’s beautiful,” Cyrus murmured, and when Thomas looked over at him, expression asking for repetition, he said more loudly, “I like it.”

“Knew it,” said Thomas, very proud of himself.

“Don’t sound so smug,” he said, smiling and shaking his head a little as he came over and sat down on the blanket. He began to unpack his backpack, but paused as he watched Thomas unzip the duffel bag. He recognized the object withdrawn immediately.

“A telescope? Where did you get that?”

“I borrowed it from Anthony. He has a test tomorrow, so he’s missing this. It won’t help us find the meteors, but since we’re already all the way out here…” He let his voice trail off as he set up the instrument.

Cyrus hummed approval and fussed with his instant camera a bit before somewhat suddenly bringing it up and snapping a quick picture of Thomas, who looked over at the bright flash, rubbed his eyes, and said, “If you had warned me, I could have posed for you.”

“Your poses are terrible.” Cyrus’s tone was matter of fact, but a smile tugged at his lips, and Thomas grinned. Cyrus had no short supply of photos of Thomas and his many, many absurd poses. If he wasn’t fast enough, sometimes he’d get a pose whether he wanted it or not. “This photo might also be terrible,” he added, as he shook the small square of film the camera spat out.

Thomas crawled over, and Cyrus held up the picture as it became clear. The photo was, in fact, terrible. He had caught Thomas mid motion; one of his arms was entirely blurred, and the flash had caught on his glasses and bathed the entire scene in a stark light that made him look more like a cryptid than anything else. After a moment, he put a hand on Cyrus’s shoulder and looked into his eyes, voice and expression full of exaggerated pity, as he said, “Oh, Cyrus. You poor, naive soul… I don’t know who got that for you, but didn’t you know instant cameras are outdated? You may as well throw that old hunk of junk away.”

“Shit, you’re right.” Cyrus stood up. “What was I thinking? It’s a good thing we’re next to this giant landfill. The guy who gave it to me was an asshole anyway. Did you know he collected records? Talk about behind on the times.” Shaking his head, he wound up for a throw, and Thomas could compose himself no longer.

Bursting out into laughter, he threw himself at Cyrus’s legs. “No!”

There was no resistance; Cyrus fell forward with a yelp, and Thomas was still giggling as he pulled himself up and readjusted his glasses. “Sorry… Are you okay?” When his question was only met with a groan, he scooted a little closer, and concern rose in his voice as he leaned in a little. “Cy? I’m sorry; I didn’t think that would be enough to knock you over. I really was trying to hold back. Are you okay?”

Still face down in the blanket, Cyrus reached up, slowly, and shoved Thomas’s face away from him. “You’re a dick.” He pulled himself back up into a sitting position. “But yeah, I’m okay.”

Thomas breathed a sigh of relief. “Good.”

Panic flirted across Cyrus’s expression, however, when he remembered the camera; his gaze darted about the blanket, and he snatched it up to examine it closely.

“Shit, is it alright?”

“Yeah, I think so. Good, because if you broke it, you would need to buy me another one.”

“I know.” Thomas still sounded a little abashed.

“…I wasn’t going to actually throw it.”

“I know. I was just playing. Sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Hey. Don’t worry about it.”

Thus certain he was forgiven, he perked back up, his easy smile returning. “Okay.” He moved back toward the telescope, looked through the lens, then started to fuss with the device as he said, “The radiant point for this shower is Lyra the harp, where Vega is. Do you think you could help me find it? You’re better at this than me.”

“Sure.” Cyrus flopped back onto the blanket. He had become intimately familiar with the shape of the sky in his youth, spending many hours in hospitals staring up at the twinkling lights, a book of legends and constellations in his lap. Vega was easy to find, relatively. It was a brilliant star that hung directly above the land below, and though Lyra was a small constellation, other, larger constellations bordered it. The Corona Borealis, Hercules, Draco, Cygnus… There were more stars visible here which muddied the sky, but nevertheless, one by one, he picked the constellations out from the mass.

Thomas threw himself down beside him. “Did you find it? Have you seen any meteors yet?”

“None yet. It’s there.” Cyrus pointed. “The bright one, with the four other stars beside it.”

“I think I see it.”

“When do the meteors come?”

“They’re falling now, actually. At the height of the shower, they fall at one or two a minute. They can appear anywhere in the sky, but most are supposed to come from Lyra.” He smiled, a wry touch of amusement coloring his voice. “I know I shouldn’t be surprised you brought your camera–one of them, anyway–but there’s no way you’ll be able to catch a picture of any meteors.”

“It would be a waste of film to try,” he agreed. “But I wanted to be prepared.”

“You only bring the instant out for special occasions.”

“My first meteor shower is a special occasion. Besides, these look nicer on my wall.”

Chuckling lightly, Thomas relented. “Alright.” After a moment, though, he gasped and nudged Cyrus’s arm. “I saw one! Did you see that? It was over there!”

“Yeah! I did.”

“Your first shooting star, hm..? Did you make a wish?”

“Of course.”

“Okay; don’t tell me.”

“I won’t.” Cyrus paused briefly, then said, “Thomas?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for taking me out here.”

“It’s my pleasure. Honest.”

[spockular]

wow ok i meant to write a lil paragraph ranting about how im crazy etc but it got bigger im prob gonna delete later

ok nobody wants to read this and honestly i dont want them to but i dont have anyone to talk to about this & its been eating away at me lately for some reason so! uh im rly bad about like. letting things go and i’ve been single for like five fucking years bc im disgusting but i check up on my ex now and then (sometimes more often than others) because i dont even know why honestly.... idk i think i just got a glimpse into what life as a gay trans etc could be for a second when we were together and even afterwards when i was still friends with some of our mutual friends (im still friends with one of them but the rest i no longer speak to). like our relationship wasnt great and i was terrified the entire time to the point of like. not eating for days and shit (one time i passed out in the hallway of its dorm from anxiety and hunger lmfao) but thats kinda irrelevant now. 

anyways its long over and but bc i am petty and angry all the time and have had very little going for me socially for p much my entire life im still sad about how little connection we actually had and how desperate i was for us to be close but was continually denied that. im sad for my little teenage self and im sad about what that did to me as a person (a lot of this falls on my own shoulders but i’ll just say its been a real long slow journey from then to now and im still trudging along). 

i do still care about my ex tho just like. as a person and even though it fucks me up in ways i still dont rly know how to articulate i like to check its social medias every once in a while just to see whats up etc. kinda recently my ex and its current partner (someone i used to be friends with) started t and im happy for them both but it also feels like such a punch to the gut like.... theyve had more time to figure out their gender i think (idk the exact situation obvs) bc ive been so shut down for my entire life but it just feels rly shitty. and i feel shitty for feeling shitty bc why should i?? they arent taking anything away from me or even affecting my life at all; we havent even lived in the same side of the country for a long time and we havent spoken even longer than that. but its hard for me to see and think about either way. 

i feel weird too bc we’ve had a lot of parallels in our life that to the casual observer seems like im probably copying my ex but i honestly have not.... like we’ve both been through a few name changes and both times our new chosen names have been rly similar but its legit complete coincidence which freaks me out. and we’ve had a lot of similar interests in media and in the kind of art we make..... idk i feel rly weird about it. 

idek what i came here to say anymore im just. stressed out rly bad all the time lmao. ive been doing a lot of work on myself lately but it still feels like im not getting anywhere. i cant do therapy but ive gotten rly good at self reflection and recognizing unhealthy/destructive patterns of thought and action in myself but im not always good at correcting it because its just me and my dumb wormy brain in here. idk im rly sad i guess is the point im sorry if anyone read this whole thing and if we know each other irl im sorry if it made you feel weird i normally dont talk about this for that reason