#as an individual????? is measured to me in things i love???? so i’m gonna be in that chair off my ass on morphine tweakin out

[jamieycomplainey]

getting my wisdom teeth out thursday. send images of the fated. and also texts about the fated. and also-

[mooooonnnzz]

HIIII I THINK REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN! in that case can I have something about celebrating your birthday with the pines and co :3 LOVE YOUR WRITING!!! It inspired me to start writing my own gf things, thank you!

Mable's Surprise Birthday Special

Platonic! Pines Family x Reader

★ BIRTHDAYYY!! FANFICC!!

★ its funny cuz u requested like a day after my bday and then a day before the twins bday like what a perfect timing!!

★ tw: fiddleauthor im kidding i love them sm i had to put fiddleford here

★ 4,5k words

★ gn!reader

★ a silly cute fic!!! i hc soos is a really good baker

★ req r still open!

“Welcome to Mable’s Birthday Special!” Mable noisily raved directly into the camera that she set up on a stand. “Now, I know what you’re thinking. Mable, it isn’t your birthday! And you’re correct on that. But it’s a special someone's birthday!” She plopped herself on her pink chair, pulling out a large colorful book from below and slamming it on the table. Clouds of glitter powdered the air, a fit of coughs spewing out of her mouth. “Agh, glitter attack!” She croaked out, swatting away the sparkling glitter with her hand. 

Now covered in rainbow glitter, she broadly smiled at the camera. “Now, what was I saying?” She pondered out loud, tapping her chin as she looked up. “Oh!” She jumped up, looking back down at the book that was labeled ‘[Name]’s Birthday Ideas’. 

“My siblings birthday is today!” She opened the book, flipping through an assortment of pages before stopping and striking her hand down on a certain page. “Believe or not, this is all the data I collected on [Name] so I can properly throw a birthday party extravaganza!” She leaned forward, passion flowing out of her. “And today, we are going to throw the best party ever.” 

The footage unexpectedly cuts to another shot where she, Dipper and Wendy were decorating the living room and kitchen. “Hello, my fellow Mabelins!” She feverishly waves at the camera. “We are in the living room!” Dipper peeks his head into frame, his eyebrows furrowing. “Mabelins?” He repeats slowly. “Yeah! Mabelines. That’s what I call my fans.” She motions to the camera. “Mable, no one is going to see this.” Dipper blankly said, rearranging the party streamers in his hand so they wouldn’t get tangled. “Dude, don’t say that. That’ll totally ruin her spark!” Wendy tittered, taping individual letters one by one on the wall. 

“But it’s true. Who’s actually going to sit down and watch Mabel’s videos?” Dipper remarked, taking a measured step up on the chair then onto the table. “[Name] is definitely gonna see this after the party.” Mable leaned in closer to the camera, whispering: “Brothers, am I right?” 

Grabbing the camera, she aimed it at Dipper who was jumping up from the table, trying to stick up the party streamers on the ceiling. Zooming in on him, she spoke in an Australian accent. “And now, we have an orangutan in his natural habitat.” 

Dipper grumbled, stomping his foot down on the wobbly table. “Mab–Ahp!” Dipper fell, taking the table along with him. Mable howled out in laughter, running towards him and capturing him twitching painfully on the floor. “Woah, dude. Are you okay?” Wendy got on one of her knees, helping up Dipper from the ground. Dipper quietly fussed under his breath, sending a deadly glare to Mable who wasn’t even paying attention, too wrapped up in her laughing frenzy. 

“Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks, Wendy.” He dusts himself, picking up the discarded party streamers from the floor. “I’ll hang these up for you, dude. Don’t worry.” She takes the streamers from Dipper’s hand, much against his protests. “I can do them, Wendy. It’s okay!” He watched enviously as Wendy grabbed a chair and stood on it, taping the streamers randomly around the ceiling. “There!” She hops off the chair, putting her hands on her hips and admiring her work. “Now Dipper won’t have to be sent to the hospital on [Name]’s birthday.” 

Dipper sighed out, grabbing a bowl of confetti and sprinkling it all over the floor to make a confetti runway. “Thanks so much, Wendy.” A glum look fell on his face and Mable couldn’t help herself and zoom in on his face. “Poor Dip. Too short for his own good.” Bringing her hand in front of the camera, she waves at it. “I’ll see you in the next part!” 

The footage cuts off to Ford in his red turtle sweater and black jeans, an apron that says ‘Kiss the Chef’ adorning his waist. She aims the camera up at his face. “Say, Grunkle Ford. What are we making today?��� 

Uneasily smiling at the camera, he hurriedly stirred the batter. Some splattered out of the bowl and landed on the counter. “We are making a cake!” He tried to sound chipper but he couldn’t hide the distressed look on his face. Oblivious to his stress, she backs up, showing the messy countertop. Batter dripped from the counter and onto the floor where a little goopy pile had been ever so slowly festering. And upon further inspection, Ford had clumps of batter and flour stuck to hair. The white powder was dusted in streaks on his face and clothes. 

“And who’s we?” She spun around for dramatic effect, making her own drumming effects. “Pumpkin, what are you doin’?” Stan walks in, walking past the spinning Mabel and peering his eyes over to the cooking cake in the oven. She stops nowhere near Stan and has to turn back around to show Stan in the frame. “This is my Grunkle Stan! Twin brother of my Grunkle Ford–,” She zooms in on their faces. “--If you couldn’t tell!” 

“Ford, the cake isn’t risin’.” He grabs a mitten and opens the oven. A blast of black smoke wafted into his face. “What?” Ford drops the bowl onto the messy counter, walking over to Stan who was coughing like a maniac while waving the mitten around to disperse the cloud of smoke. “How is it not rising? We added baking powder into the cake, didn’t we?” He snatches the mitten from Stan and slips it on. Grabbing the steaming pan, he placed it on the counter. “Is it supposed to be that color?” Stan grimaces at the muddied charcoal black cake. “How is the consistency still the same an hour later!” Ford scooped the slimy goo and watched it grossly plop back down on the pan. “Who’s taste testing the cake?” Mable curiously asked. Ford and Stan looked at each other before sticking their hand out, yelling, “Not it!” 

The clip cuts to Ford and Stan violently spewing out the cake into the sink or trash can. “What are we doing wrong!” Stan forced out through gags. “I don’t know!” Ford heaves out into the sink. “What’s goin’ on?” Fiddleford saunters into the chaotic kitchen with Soos following behind him. “Hey, dudes!” He waves at Ford and Stan who are still coughing into the sink and trash can. “Hey, Grunkle Fiddleford! Hey, Soos!” Mable turned the camera over to the newcomers. 

Fiddleford stepped into the kitchen, careful with where he put his feet down and went over to Ford’s side. He put his hand on Ford’s back and moved his hand up and down in a comforting manner. “Darlin’, what in the hell happened here?” 

“Me and Stan tried making cake.” The mention of cake has Ford’s stomach churning once again. “Oh, yikes.” He breathes out, teeth bared. “Hun, why don’t ya sit down with Stan? Me and Soos can handle this, right Soos?” Soos’s head perks up at hearing his name. “Yeah! We can make a pizza cake out of real pizza with like, ten layers!” Stan cringes. “That doesn’t sound right.” 

Stan sweetly smiles at Fiddleford. “Thank you, my love.” Fiddleford matches his smile, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. “Ewww!!” Mable shields the camera with the palm of her hand. “Cover yer eyes, Mable!” Fiddleford laughs. “You don’t have to ask me twice!” 

Another clip plays and it's Mable marveling at a beautifully made and decorated tall 8 layered cake. “Now this is how you make a cake!” She dips her finger towards the cake to snag a bit of frosting when she was scooped up by Stan. “No, you don’t!” He moves her away from the cake, placing her back down on the floor. “I feel like out of all the people here, I thought you’d be so strict on not letting anyone touch or eat cake.” 

“I just grow weak in the knees when I see a cake as beautiful as that one.” Mable stared at it starry eyed. “Alright, that’s enough of that.” His hand flop around the camera as he attempts to find the turn off button. “Okay, so how can I turn this o–” 

The next clip is Soos delightfully munching on cake with Mable beside him. “We just couldn’t resist!” Mable says with her mouth full of cake. “I just wanted some cake, dude!” 

Footsteps approach the kitchen and both Mable and Soos look at each other with fear stricken on their faces. Jumping off the chair, she grabs her plate of cake and shoves it into her sweater. Soos shoves the whole piece into his mouth, smearing the frosting and cake crumbs all over his mouth. 

“Grunkle Ford, have you seen my–” Dipper stops dead in his tracks, eyes wide at the marvelous cake. “Is this the cake I heard Grunkle Fiddleford talk about?” He whispers, his eyes looking over to Mable and Soos who were rigid statues. 

“This thing?” Mable jabs a thumb in its general direction. “I have no idea what this is!” She nervously laughs out, pieces of crumbled cake sludge out of her sweater and plops down on the floor. “Righhhtt…” Dipper takes a step back. “I’ll leave you two alone.” He sends a cautionary glance at Soos and Mable before walking out. “Phew!” Soos wipes his forehead with his forearm. “That was close, wasn’t it?” 

“Super close.” She grabs on a piece of cake that was in her sweater and munches on it. She offers one out to Soos who happily takes it and shovels it into his mouth. 

The clip choppily jumps to the entrance door to the gift shop. “Stan went out to grab [Name] cause we kinda left them alone in the mall. Sorry not sorry [Name]! But he’s getting them over here, so any minute they’re going to come in here!” Mable whispers to the camera. She’s hiding behind a can of monster eyes, the camera very obviously on top of the canisters. “Dipper is hiding in a box full of plastic peanuts. Soos is behind the counter with Wendy, they have party poppers in their hands. Fiddleford and Ford are in the living room. They’re act two.” She brought up two fingers and wiggled them. 

Distance voices could be heard coming from outside the shack. “They’re here, they’re here!” She loudly whispers. 

“Who’s idea was it to leave me in the mall?” Mable you ask. She snickered quietly and pointed at herself, the culprit of the idea. “We didn’t leave you at the mall? We were there with you.” Stan terribly lied and you saw right through it. “Grunkle Stan, I don’t know why you lie so much.” 

The knob of the door jostles a bit, altering everyone that they were here before it opened. “Why is it so dark–” 

“Surprise!” Popping noises came from Soos and Wendy and clumped up colorful strings fell on top of your head. Dipper tripped out of the box full of peanuts, running over to give you a self-Mable made birthday sash. “Oh!” You grab the sash, slinging it around you with a chuckle. “What is all of this?” 

“Happy birthday!” Mable popped out from behind the cans, camera in hand. “Say hello to the camera [Name]!” You gave a shy wave. “Was this the reason why I was left behind at the mall?” You remove the colorful strings off your hair and throw it at Stan who sputters in surprise. “Yeah! And there’s one last surprise.” 

“Happy Birthday!” Ford and Fiddleford jump out of the living room doorway into the gift shop, blowing a party horn into your face. 

“OH MY–” 

The frame freezes on you midway screaming for a second before it switches to a whole new piece of footage where Ford is covering your eyes, blindly leading you into the kitchen where your eaten cake resides. “Okay, ready?” Ford looks at you, a huge excited smile playing at his lips. “No, not really.” 

Ford ignores you and peels back his hands and bestows you the beautiful sight of your unnaturally tall wobbling cake. “That’s a really tall cake.” You watch it dangerously wobble to the side. “Is the cake supposed to be wobbling?” You ask, looking around to see everyone’s mortified faces and two stray guilt stricken expressions. “What? That’s ain’t supposed to be happenin’…”  

Fiddleford approaches the cake and oggles it, his eyes landing on a certain spot on the backside of the cake, a wave of fury flashes on his face before he calms himself down and very sweetly smiles at the little crowd gathered in the kitchen. 

The camera catches Mable’s nervous gulp. 

“Who was takin’ big chomps of the cake me and Soos made?” His voice betrayed his sweet smile with how snappy he sounded. 

“Wasn’t me. I was with Dipper decorating.” Wendy coolly said. “Y-Yeah! We were.” Dipper solidifies his alibi, eyes locking with Mable’s anxious ones. “You can’t point any fingers at me! I was real busy gettin’ [Name] back from the mall.” Stan lifted his hands up defensively. “Again, out of all the options, why mall?” You grumbled under your breath. 

“I was with you the whole time, Fidds.” Fiddleford smiled at Ford, his voice sickeningly sweet when he spoke to Ford. “I know, hun.” Then he changes back to finding the culprits who ate his cake. “He’s really serious about that cake we ate.” Soos spoke into Mabel’s ear loudly. Fiddleford’s gaze locked down onto Mable and Soos.

“Mable, sweetheart. Could ya quit recordin’ just for a quick second.” 

The footage cuts to a somber Mabel sitting in a cold desolate corner with Soos on the other end. “I got put in the naughty corner! What is this joke!” Mable threw her hands up in the air dramatically, having them flop down to her sides with a loud melodramatic sigh. 

“It’s only just for a bit, pumpkin! After we set up the table you’ll be back here! Same goes for you, Soos!” Stan’s gruff spoke from the kitchen.

“Okay, thanks Mr. Pines!” 

“Ugh, we shouldn’t have ever eaten that cake.” Mable dragged a heavy hand down her face, pulling at it. Soos’s stomach roared in hunger. A laugh leaves Soos, his attention turning to Mable. “Do you still have some of that cake in your sweater? I’m kinda hungry.” 

“I think so? Let me check.” She digs her hand into her shirt and pulls out a clump of cake that had strands of hair and sweater fuzz on it. “Our last one.” Mable whispered dejectedly. 

“Mable, do you have your camera?” Ford peeks his head out of the kitchen to see Mable handing a mysterious ball to Soos, the camera in front of her. “You’re not supposed to have this, missy.”

“I know.” She frowns deeply when Ford snatches up her pink glitter camera. Ford fumbles with it a bit, the last shot before the scene switched was Soos taking a hearty bite of the ball of cake.

“Is this thing working?” Stan’s voice spoke from behind the camera. “Yeah, it’s working.” Wendy confirmed, tapping at the blaring red light to signal its recording. “Today is [Name]’s birthday! Right, sweetie?” He accidentally shoves the camera right at your face.

“Woah, okay!” You giggled, carefully pushing Stan away from you. “It is my birthday. I think you all are more excited about it than me.” 

Wendy walks over to you with a party hat in hand. “It's like you’re asking for us to forget it.” She hands you the hat. “If any of you ever forget my birthday, you will not hear the end of it!” You glared at everyone, pointing at them in a smooth motion with your party hat.

“They’re not kidding, guys.” Dipper’s eyes have a distant traumatized look to them. “I have seen it firsthand.” Stan added, flipping the camera to his traumatized face before flipping it back onto you. 

You snap the party hat on you with a smile. “I feel stupid being the only one with a party hat.” You walk over to the box full of party hats and grab an armful of party hats. “Tune in and find out if I’m able to put party hats on everyone!” You make a swooshing noise as your hand descends on the camera, palm covering the lens. 

“Stan, that’s when you stop record—“ 

The next set of footage had everyone, even the ones who were grounded for a short while, all huddled up in a group, party hats on. “I got them to all wear party hats!” You cheered, picking up Waddle’s who innocently trudged into the kitchen. “Even Waddles has one.” You cooed at the pig before putting him back down on the floor. “Okay, everyone disperse! Time to start singin’ happy birthday.” Fiddleford announced. 

Everyone surrounds the decorated table with the wobbling cake. Each shove and push to the table had Fiddleford sucking a nervous breath in.

“Okay, ready?” Ford held up three fingers and started counting down by three. 

The whole room erupted into singing the second all of Ford's fingers were down. “Happy birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy birthday to [Name]! Happy birthday to youuuu!”

“Make a wish! Make a wish!” Mable thrummed her hand against the table. The cake shook and trembled and everyone watched with bated breath. 

The cake stills and everyone lets out a sigh of relief. “Welp, wasn’t that close? Am I right?” Stan laughs, slapping his hand on the table. “Stanley!”

The cake plunges down, splattering everyone with its frosting and filling. Silence filled the room. 

Waddles squeaks happily at the delicious treat, feasting on the piece of cake on the floor. You lick around your lips, grabbing a taste of the cake. “Mmm! This is good. Fiddleford, Soos, you guys really did a good job on making the cake!” 

“Thanks [Name]!” Soos is wolfing down a piece of his own cake that had showered all over him. “Glad ya like it, sweetheart..” Fiddleford sighed out, plopping his head on Ford’s shoulder. 

“My camera!” Mable cried out, darting over to her camera that was weighing down from heavy frosting. She fortunately caught it in her hand, wiping off the icing with the sleeve of her sweater and accidently turning off the camera. 

The footage clips to the last video Mable took of the day. You were sitting down on a chair, a table full of gift bags and hand wrapped objects filled the table. “We are now opening presents!” Mable exclaimed, chucking a fist full of glitter in the air. “Ah, my eye!” Stan screeched out, sprinting into the kitchen to run water over his eye, bumping into the camera in the process. “Grunkle Stan! Be careful.” Mable held the camera stand, keeping it still. After a few minutes of hearing running water, Stan walks out with an irritated eye. “Open, open!” Mable chanted. 

You pluck a gift from the table, flipping it on its back to read the name sharpied on it. “Okay, the first gift is from…” You squinted, reading it out. “Grunkle Ford!” You show the mysterious gift to everyone. Curious questions left their mouths as you opened the book shape gift. Shedding the last piece of gift wrapper, you saw what you had gotten. “A book on quantum physics?” You let out a pensive ‘hm’. 

“You could never go wrong with math!” He proclaimed, sticking out a finger into the air. You awkwardly laugh. “Yeah, thanks Grunkle Ford.” You look under the table to see Waddle’s resting on his belly. “Here, Waddles. I got a new toy for you.” You whisper, waving the book in front of his face. He brings his snout to the book, sniffing it before letting out a snort. He grabs the book with his mouth and places it down on the floor, he pads around it for a minute and flops down on the book, snuggling into it. 

“Next gift!” You pop your head out from under the table and grab the next gift by its handles. You stuck your hand inside and latched onto something. Pulling it out, you came face to face with a Mystery Shack coupon. You didn’t even need to guess who this was from. “Really Grunkle Stan?” 

“Oh, shut it. There’s one more thing left in there!” 

You place the card on the table and dig your hand back into the bag. You grabbed onto a bottle and took your hand out, your eyes widening at the wine bottle. “Um?” You warily look at Stan whose jaw is dropped on the floor. “Who put that there?” Stan marched over to you and took the bottle of wine from your hand. A few quiet snickers came from Dipper and Mable. “That’s my bottle. You get your own.” 

“Uhm?” You look back down in the gift bag and flip it upside down. A wad of neatly folded cash plopped down on your lap. Your eyes brighten and you look over to Stan who’s smiling proudly to himself. “Is this real cash?” You grab the cash from your lap and inspect the dollar bills. “How in the world would I ever give ya fake money? Put some more faith in your Grunkle!” 

You gleefully put the cash back into the side and place it beside you. “Up next is…” You grab a hold of a large square wrapped in Christmas wrapping. The name Soos was elegantly written on the wrapping paper. “Soos!” 

“Yes!” Soos pumps his fist in the air. “You are going to love it, dude!”

Peeling off the wrapping paper revealed the gift to be your favorite music artist vinyl. “Soos! These are expensive, how did you get this?” 

Soos glanced over to Stan and looked back at you. “I have my ways!” He smiled. 

You put the vinyl in your bag with the cash and moved to the next present. Fiddleford’s gift was next and he had given you a beautiful heartfelt note accompanied with a photo of you, Fiddleford and Ford. You thought that was it when he told you to shake the envelope with a wink. A few couple hundred bucks fell out that had you gasping for air. 

“There’s no way you just copied me, Fidds.” Stan pointed an accusatory finger at him. “We just had the same idea, Stanley.”

“Grunkles, Grunkles! Please, no fighting.” Mable stood in between them, her hands flat against their stomachs. “My gift is next and [Name] needs their full attention on it!” 

Mable’s gift was a conflicting mess. You couldn’t decide if it was cute or oddly weird. She had given you a scrapbook, innocent at first, but opening the book showed that she had been harvesting everyone’s hair and gluing them in the book, crudely making a heart full of hair with your name spelt in cursive on the inside. The pages following had copious amounts of glitter, stickers and the strong scent of glue, but they were pretty normal enough, sharing memories of you, her and Dipper in some pages and then others had the family all together. Then there was a page that had you sit back and question your sister's mental wellbeing. She had a whole page dedicated to candid photos she had snapped of you while you weren’t looking. 

She had a photo of you sleeping, brushing your teeth, talking to Stan, playing ddnmd with Ford and Dipper, etc. And to make it a little more weirder, she had made everyone write little comments of what was their favorite thing in the picture. At least what everyone wrote was normal…

“Mable, thank you very—“ 

“—Go to the last page!”

You flip to the last page that was blank. A puzzled look formed on your face and you opened your mouth to ask Mable what was this when you were pelted with a wave of confetti, glitter and sprinkles. A drawing of everyone holding hands launched out of the book and harmoniously started singing happy birthday. Mable started singing along, busting down her own moves, satisfied with the gift she gave you. 

You were coughing up glitter and confetti for the next few minutes. Stan came up behind you to pluck the stray sprinkles that got caught in your hair. Waddles made the gracious effort to clean the floor by eating the sprinkles and a bit of the confetti.

Dipper’s gift was more sentimental. In a rainbow colored envelope, made by yours truly Mable, was a letter that Mable and him collaborated on and wrote together such a nice letter that you doubted if your younger siblings really had made this themselves. With teary eyes, you opened your arms wide and they didn’t waste a moment to run up to you and jump in your arms. 

“That really sweet, thank you guys.” 

You held them in your arms for a minute or two before they let you go and went back to their spot. 

Wendy’s gift was a nice way to top everything off. Seems like she had roped everyone in it and made this whole poster board full of their favorite moments that you had shared with everyone. Branching from embarrassing ones that some were unfortunately captured by Mabel’s trusty camera to unforgettable beautiful memories.

“Who came up with this idea?” You ask with a laugh, looking at a pinned photo where you were mid horrified face when Stan was cannonballing into the pool. He was halfway in, water already sprouting out and ready to splash you and drown Dipper and Mabel. 

“It was a mix of Grunkle Ford and Mable. They’re surprisingly creative when put together.” Wendy said, jerking a thumb over to Mable high sixing Ford. “You guys really went all out for this, didn’t you?” You smile softly. A mix of playful scoffs and ‘of course!’ filled the room. “Who wouldn’t want to go all out for you?” Stan wrapped an arm around your neck, pulling you in a side hug. “I think we might need to drill that into yer head. Yer jus’ full of sugar, who wouldn’t want to give ya such an amazin’ birthday?” Fiddleford affectionately ruffled your hair. 

Ford hugged your other side, slipping a note in your hand. “Is this another sappy note that’s going to make me cry?” Ford chuckles, nodding. “Group hug without us? What is Mable going to say?” Wendy joked. “She’s probably going to kill them.” Dipper laughed. “Who’s killing wh–” She turns around and gasps loudly. “Group hug!” She grabs Soos’s hand and practically hurls herself into the hug. “Dipper, Wendy. Get in here!” They join in on the hug. 

“Happy Birthday [Name].” Dipper tried his best to at least give you a slight hug but everyone was so jumbled up together, all he could do was pat his head against your upper stomach. Everyone else joined in and told you happy birthday. Snuggling further into the hug, you smiled. “Thank you guys.” 

A warning beep rings in the air. “What is that?” Soos asks. Another final warning beep. “Oh my god! My camera!” Mable shuffles out of the hug and darts over to her camera. The frame freezes on Mable reaching out for her camera with everyone staring at the cameras with wide owl eyes. 

Pink glitter mixed in with blue plain text faded into the screen saying ‘Happy Birthday to the best sibling in the world!’ and the video ends. 

Taglist: @boredwithlifeatthispoint, @lovexsage, @teddycricketdream, @theilluminatidragonqueen, @raventeen @cedarmoonzz, @katharine3000

dm or comment if you want to be added/removed!!

i also posted my first fic on ao3!! it's a fiddleauthor drabble cuz i just love them sm. so if anyone wants to check it out the title of it is Amore Mio Aiutami (Main Theme) n my username barbatoz!! :p i'll only post fiddleauthor and billford over there :3

[pigdemonart]

Battle Subway Depot Agents (by pig-demon)

When I made designs for these guys last year I didn’t really think they needed colored references/master post, but since then I’ve drawn them a lot! Also people have added them to their fanfics and drawn fanart! So I figured it was time I made a post for easy ref. :]

These designs are obviously free to use, just give credit (and link me your work if you're comfortable, because it makes me happy to see!) All I request is to stay respectful to their pronouns and skin colors, ya knooow… 👍 note: The pokemon on their cards are all companions, not the ones they use on the Battle Subway. Except Jackie...the litwicks are just there to fill space/give them company.

More info under cut:

Edit: Important disclaimer:

These are again my designs/interpretations for the agents. Please don’t treat them as canon or as the only, quintessential designs for these literal background npcs. Many people have done takes on them before and after me, even back in 2010. It feels silly to ask, but due to past experience, I ask that you please DONT hunt down anyone that does a different take on the depot agents!! 👍

Tags:

I'm gonna start tagging them individually, but for now all Depot Agent comics and art on this blog are tagged under Depot Agents.

Height chart:

I’m not too strict about heights, so I don’t really care about actual measurements. Here’s an approximation of what I tend to visualize though:

Sexualities/Gender Identities: I don't have official labels for each and every agent because I like keeping things fluid for characters to develop these traits on their own. However, as a queer person, I enjoy designing characters who are also queer, therefore I can safely say none of these characters are straight. The ones who are set in stone are Ramses (gay man), Cloud (lesbian woman,) Jackie (non-binary.) Furze uses he/they pronouns but their gender is undetermined. I also welcome anyone giving the agents a different gender identity to suit them (as long as it's done respectfully.)

Notes about each agent...

Cameron:

- Cameron dyes parts of his hair blonde and keeps other parts in black. This is because he is a big fan of Elesa and her fashion choices.  - Though there have been a few occasions to meet his idol, he is always way too nervous to approach her, feeling deep down that he'll mess up somehow. - He practices modeling poses in secret. He loves flourishes and flare, but is simply too insecure to put it on display. - Of his coworkers, he gets along the best with Furze. He's the easiest to talk to because Furze will do most of the talking. - Cameron is easily intimidated — even mean Pokémon can make him nervous. Though, his two worst fears are being left in a room alone with Jackie, and being left alone in a room with Isadore. - He takes advantage of his height to sometimes hide behind some of his coworkers. - Cameron is much better at Pokémon battles than he gives himself credit for. Emmet and Ingo were pleasantly surprised by this, since Cameron was promoted to fit a temporary role on the Battle Subway. They happily made him a permanent member when he proved himself capable. - His Dwebble (Pebby) is secretly very strong, and rushes to protect Cameron when it can. Cam sometimes thinks Pebby helps him feel more confident in himself too.  - If he stumbled into any of his coworkers outside of work, he would simply explode of embarrassment. - He is the youngest child and only son of his family. He lives in his own apartment in Nimbasa.

Cloud:

- Cloud (like Ramses) knew the twins when they were very young. - She used to be an ace trainer in her youth, even going so far to compete in the Pokémon league. Winning and becoming the champ was the most important part of her journey, but something happened along the way that changed that outlook. - It seems with age, her competitiveness has mellowed out. However, she maintains an intense energy when battling.  - Her favorite types are Psychic and Flying types. Swoobat (Sweetie) is her ace.  - Her favorite hobby is baking, and she often bakes sweets for the crew. She knows all their favorite flavors by now! - She prioritizes keeping a friendly relationship with all her coworkers and thinks of them fondly. She considers Ramses family after all the years of working together!  - She is a big fan of Brycen's movies and can recite the lines. - She lives with her wife in Anville. - Cloud loves doing maintenance work both at home and in Gear Station. She enjoys bringing her own tools and industrial flashlight.

Furze:

- Furze only has one volume setting (mid loud,) but he finds himself feeling right at home when talking to either one of the twins. - Furze has ADHD, and this is reflected in some of his habits, most visibly is his fidgeting when sitting still for too long. - He rides a bike to work every day. When he is late, Cloud clocks in for him so he doesn't get in trouble. - This is a kind of a guy that sits crouched gargoyle style on chairs. Only outside of work, of course. Bad posture could get him in trouble. - While working on the Battle Subway, there will be times Furze feels sorry for his opponents and offers to quietly let them pass anyways. This...has also gotten him in trouble. :[ - He went to the same elementary school as Isadore in Castelia. Though Isadore seems to have forgotten their short-lived acquaintance, Furze has not. This is part of the reason Furze claims they are in fact good friends!!! - Furze is the middle child of a big family. He lives with his mom and takes care of her, along with his many Darumakas and Darmanitan. All of his Pokemon have famous trains names. - He collects model trains. Naturally.

Isadore

- Isadore had plans to become the station master the moment he was hired as a depot agent, but alas... (sad trumpet sound.) - As a youth, he was more interested in science and engineering over Pokemon battles. He enjoys the strategizing aspect, at most. Not so much the competitiveness. - In addition, his Pokemon are all rescues and not used for battling. He's had his Watchog (Winston) since he was in his late teens. - His Electrode (Gregor) and Voltorb (Leonard) were rescued from the likes of Team Plasma. - Isadore admits he understands Pokemon better than humans. This has been apparent his whole life. - In spite of acting like a sitcom villain, Isadore cares about the management of Gear Station and the safety of the passengers to an incredible degree. He sees it as a personal life goal to assist in the management of Gear Station, as well as the success of the Battle Subway. - Though it pained him to become a subordinate to the twins, he begrudgingly accepts it for the greater good. - His almost militant efficiency certainly made up for his years of antagonizing the twins before they became the bosses. Ingo and Emmet understand this better than anyone. - Isadore keeps tabs on all of the staff members. So he very well knows all their birthdays and makes it a point to celebrate it. This is by no means a -happy- or -festive- event. It's just customary. - Like Furze, he was originally from Castelia, but now resides in Nimbasa. Isadore's only family is his mom and she lives in his childhood home with their Stoutland. - Isadore would have probably been voiced by every glasses guy ever J. Michael Tatum had he not already been cast as dear Emmet lmao

Jackie

- Jackie is a mystery and they like keeping it that way. When they talk, it's practically impossible to determine what is a lie or truth, especially if the subject is themselves or their background. - They love scaring Cameron the most and will ask to be paired with him whenever possible. They claim Cameron is their "favorite coworker," while Isadore is the least favorite. - It's plain to see why -- Jackie is the only one that doesn't passively tolerate Isadore's tirades. - Though my comics sometimes may allude to Jackie being a ghost/supernatural, this is not confirmed nor canon. I just personally enjoy toying with the concept. : ) That being said...

- Item #: SCP 7453

- Object Class: Euclid

- Special Containment Procedures: The ████ ██████ is ██████ within ████-██████. - Ingo and Emmet choose to not question anything about Jackie, since it's clear they're one of the more efficient workers. However it can be a safety concern... - Cloud and Ramses have worked with Jackie for a long time, though they've forgotten somehow. They believe Jackie is a new hire since they appear to be young. - Anyone trying to make sense of Jackie's employee records simply can't bring themselves to any conclusions. It's better to ignore the inconsistencies. - Jackie has never been seen to leave Gear Station. Jackie has never been seen in anything but their uniform. Jackie has never been confirmed to eat, drink or blink. Jackie knows your secrets. Jackie thinks it's... amusing.

Ramses

- Ramses sometimes misses having a full head of hair, but he thinks his signs of age make him look distinguished. (he is correct.) - Ramses is sort of the "mom friend," making sure everyone's concerns are heard, as well as trying to keep the peace whenever a conflict might arise. - If another coworker is feeling low, Ramses will try to cheer them up with a lighthearted joke or offer advice if they'd like it. - When the twins were promoted to bosses of the Battle Subway, Ramses cried because he felt so proud. - In most circumstances, he is a very simple and logical man. He is quick to find solutions and tries not to fret over the little stuff. It's not good for his heart after all. - His ace is his Pikachu (Musa,) though the mouse is more of a lap pet now. At home, he also has an Audino (Sara) and a Manectric (Nubi) who keep Ramses' husband company. His Klinklang (Moli) is the only one of his personal pokemon that accompany him to work nowadays. - Ramses considers Cloud family. They are best friends and love having family gatherings outside of work. They also gossip a lot, and don't mind when Jackie decides to join. - Ramses jokes about looking forward to retirement, but really doesn't want to leave until he is physically incapable of working anymore. Gear Station is like a second home to him.

In-Game Quotes

The most important reference of all are their in-game quotes, of course, so I'm adding it to the post. A lot of their personality traits can be extracted and interpreted from these few lines. And I personally love that about Pokemon NPCs -- there's a lot of room to explore and play with. Some appear very obvious. Cameron practically announces that he isn't ready for the battle that's about to ensue and seems genuinely surprised to win. Furze comes out the gate talking about the subject they actually care about, which is their job and their love for trains. The two of them are very easy to understand. Now, Ramses lines allude to a gentle and simple personality. He views himself with humility, and maybe even with a bit of humor comparing himself to a train and to his opponent to a station. If he loses he shows no signs of disappointment, he just accepts defeat with one last honest quip. It s also amusing to see the Depot Agents all use train metaphors to describe themselves since it falls in line with how Ingo and Emmet talk.

In comparison, Cloud does the same thing calling herself the terminal instead. Immediately, she is way more daring, though still keeping a sense of professionalism. To me, it's obvious she is competitive as she even admits she was expecting to win ("Ah...I didn't see it coming.") Jackie's lines are fun since it's up to interpretation if they are being literal or lying. It's almost like they are more interested in confusing/creeping out their opponent than actually beating them. To me, it gives off a mischievous vibe. Isadore's opener "There are only two roads in life." is a curious one because it almost feels like he is trying to be philosophical. Definitely a guy who views himself as an intellectual, regardless if that’s true or not. I like to think it's a saying he really believes in, and it applies to his life. The road he likes (long route) vs the road he hates (shortcut) -- fighting tooth and nail to become boss vs biting his tongue and accepting Ingo and Emmet as the Subway Masters.

Those are just my thoughts on how I write these characters. Please have fun playing with these lines too!

[brettanomycroft]

Signals from Somewhere Else

After episode 22 of Protocol, there’s one thing (okay, maybe two things) that everyone is going to be talking about. But I don’t want to talk about that thing (yet. Okay, I lied, it might come up). Instead, I want to dive into some of the implications of this week’s case and how they might relate FR3-D1 [Error], and even Isaac Newton.

Spoilers for TMAGP episodes 21 and 22 below the cut. CW: we’re gonna talk about the brain stuff; probably overuse of the words “fleshy” and “wet” by I blame AJN for that.

Our case in this episode, graciously recounted by Peepaw Augustus, focuses on real-life German psychiatrist and neurologist Hans Berger, whose work led to the invention of the EEG and furthered our understanding of how brainwaves work. The experiment described in the case mirrors actual experiments that Berger completed while working at the University of Jena, including experimentation on a subject with a deformity that allowed easy access to the brain and the placement of silver wires under the scalp to measure electrical activity. Even Berger’s disappointing initial results seem to be in line with history.

Like in real life, the cosmic horrors of this case begin when Berger takes a little depression nap.

The description of “an ocean, deep and unforgiving… full of dark secrets” creates a striking image to be sure, but what’s more interesting to me here is what he recalls next: the “radio signals, invisible and unknowable.” Berger laments that it’s a “shame these two things would never meet,” and then proceeds to enable such a thing to happen, whether he realizes it or not.

He wakes up and is immediately “inspired” to alter the setup he is using to record Herr Schmidt’s brain activity. While Berger is unable to explain how he came up with the idea (we could tell him: it was The Horrors, bud), he transforms his recording device (an early version of an EEG) into a two-way wireless telegraph, using poor Herr Schmidt’s brain as the receiver for the very radio waves that, perhaps, were never meant to make contact with the world below. Berger sent a politely phrased request into the void, and the void screamed back.

Who or what was on the other side can only be guessed at. Was it John/Martin/Jonah, individually or Frankensteined into some horrid chimerical conscience (please read this great post and have your heart broken like me)? Was it The Fears of the Archives-verse, recombined and tossed about like naughty pears in a pear wiggler? Or was it something or someone else entirely? I’m leaning towards JMJ, in parts or as a whole, specifically because I suspect that Hans Berger’s strange (and wetly explosive, thanks Alexander J. Newell) discovery provides a clue to how [Error] and possibly FR3-D1 operate.

Let’s start with [Error]. Here’s what we know about them so far:

They were locked up in tunnels or a basement space under the Archivist’s office at the Manchester Magnus Institute

Something about them causes people, dead and alive, to recount their fears or horrible things that have happened to them (I am not using the word compel here, even though it is used in the transcript for episode 21, and that is on purpose)

They seem very invested in getting the entire story out (this is, admittedly, speculation, as it’s unclear as to whether “THERE IS MORE” is in reference to more victims or more of Gwen’s story)

They have some really weird dogs

I’ve seen a lot of folks speculate that [Error] is or was the Head Archivist in the Protocol universe, and I’ve also seen a lot of folks speculate that [Error] is or was John (and therefore also The Archivist). I think either of these could be true, but more than anything, I think [Error] is a high-powered antenna with the ability to turn the people around them into speakers. Or maybe Speakers? I do love a good capitalization.

What if the “esteemed brethren” of The Magnus Institute were all too aware of the unusual results of Berger’s experimentation, and hoped to tap into the unusual consciousness(es) floating around in the radio waves and ether of the universe by creating their own version? Perhaps they thought they could create a direct conduit (think almost like a psychic medium) through a person, someone who might be able to communicate with whatever is out there and be able to relay its/their esoteric knowledge to help further the Institute’s goals of “Universal Transmutation.” We know already that the Institute was interested in doppelgangers and perhaps alternate universes and that they had a lot of irons in the fire (the Millenium Dome, the gifted child programme, Welling’s Mutare Materia research program, the various outreach centres), so it would hardly be surprising if they were also experimenting in communicating with “the beyond” to try and gain more knowledge.

And maybe it worked. Maybe they were able to create or transmute someone into an antenna, capable of receiving these strange signals, except these mixed signals were too powerful and ultimately took over. Perhaps [Error] is the natural consequence of who or whatever was speaking to Berger finally getting “OUT.” And if who or whatever was speaking to Berger happened to include the fractured consciousness of a hungry Archivist, well then, we have an interesting case for [Error]. [Error], whether or not they were an/The Archivist in this universe, could now be directed by the desires of The Archivist, channeling The Archivist’s thoughts and abilities but with a power greater than that we ever saw in John (or, perhaps, the same power but completely unrestrained by his remaining humanity). Or [Error] could be channeling The Fears themselves, bringing parts of them through not unlike they were brought through in The Magnus Archives.

Either way, I doubt that creating a connection between whatever was out there and the physical world led to the results the Institute was hoping for.

[Error] is receiving the signal to feed, but the signal coming through is so loud and so powerful that instead of politely asking to snack on some horror stories, coming into contact with them instead allows them to pick up on a person’s horrible experience and forces them to broadcast it to the world. It’s possible that, upon creating [Error] or losing control of [Error], those at The Magnus Institute locked them up and cut them off from the dangerous signal they were receiving… Sam accidentally poking a big hole in the floor (and the alchemical signals inscribed in it) could have reestablished the connection between [Error] and the force guiding them.

Now let’s talk about FR3-D1. We know that FR3-D1so far is that it

Is a “bespoke” internet software developed sometime in the mid-90s, apparently designed to search the internet for spooky stuff

Has German source code

Crashes, constantly, much to Colin’s dismay (? Or maybe he’s helping those crashes along to stop it from listening in… but that’s a theory for another time)

Has, within the last year or so of Sam joining the O.I.A.R., started running a text-to-speech program that reads certain cases out in one of three voices, two of which are familiar to anyone who has listened to The Magnus Archives

Occasionally has some unusual .JMJ errors

Seems to be “targeting” Sam with specific cases related to The Magnus Institute

Is believed to be “listening in” by Colin, Alice, and Sam (which is supported by what we know as the audience)

Has been working “better” since Colin has been on mandatory mental health leave

May have some connection to the Stasi, the secret police force of Communist East Germany before the fall of the USSR

Is assumed (by us as the audience) to have some kind of sentience

There are some other items (notably the spreadsheets found in the ARG that appear to be from or connected to FR3-D1and the emails Sam and Gwen have received) that could be connected to FR3-D1 but have not yet been confirmed. Yet aspects of FR3-D1 do seem to share some commonality with [Error], namely a level of sentience and the ability to locate the stories of people who have had horrifying supernatural encounters.

My speculation here is that FR3-D1 and [Error] were both constructed using the same premise or with the same goal in mind: to receive and channel the signals of entities or consciousnesses existing in or coming from “Somewhere Else”: FR3-D1 through a supernaturally or alchemically conceived software program, and [Error] through a supernaturally or alchemically conceived transmutation on a living human.

If this proves to be the case, then the results seem… distinct, albeit with the potential to be equally dangerous. FR3-D1 is more “controllable” and could potentially be better able to separate out the signals being received, manifesting as “Augustus,” “Chester,” and “Norris.” Now these “three” could still be part of homunculus-esque JohnMartinJonah consciousness, but perhaps the computer program is a little more stable and delineated than the fleshy wet mess of the human brain, and therefore what remains of each individual consciousness is able to act more distinctly and independently. In contrast, [Error] (and their fleshy wet mess of human brain) is receiving the signals all mixed and jumbled together, with no failsafes to keep them from “overloading” or being entirely taken over by The Horrors or JMJ or The JMJ Horrors. Given their spectral descriptions, it’s possible that fleshy human brain and body couldn’t take it anymore and, pun intended, gave up the ghost.  

[Error] could be, in some ways, a bodiless, mindless soul acting on a confused mess of instinct and hunger; FR3-D1 is then, perhaps, the elevated mind, in (more) control but disconnected from a body and perhaps from a soul. Given the heavy influence of alchemy in The Magnus Protocol and the importance in alchemy of the number three, the Tria Prima, and the balance of mind, body, and soul, there may be a third entity we have yet to meet who, like FR3-D1 and [Error], are tuned into these signals from beyond and is eager to reunite with the rest… or perhaps FR3-D1 and [Error] are looking for a body of their own to inhabit and find balance (Sam, anyone?).

I feel like I myself am beginning to mix the signals I started with, but before I attempt to wrap this up, I do briefly want to throw one more piece of spaghetti on the wall, because I think it’ll wind up being something: the mention, specifically, of the silver wire the Berger used in his experiment.

It was Dr. Caton who recommended that Berger use the silver wire, as silver is known for being an effective conductor of electricity. Silver also holds importance as one of the seven metals of alchemy and as a possible base metal in the creation of a Philosopher’s Stone. Perhaps equally important here is that the Diana’s Tree, also known as the Arbor Philosophorum, is created using a solution including silver (or more accurately, silver nitrate) and mercury (one of the elements in the Tria Prima)… yep, the (sort of) same spooky tree created by Newton in TMAGP 19, where Newton gave his dog an existential crisis and Robert Hooke was like “burn it all down.” The conclusion we could draw here is that silver is used in both TMAGP 19 and TMAGP 22 to connect organic life to the unseeable Knowledge of some other plane… with potentially disastrous effects.

Whether it ends up being the case that FR3-D1 and [Error] are big antennas wirelessly receiving The Horrors or I’m totally off base, it seems pretty clear that Hans Berger “tuned in” to an unusual—and dangerous—signal, and what’s more, enabled that signal to connect with the Protocol world in a way that likely never should have happened.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 2 thoughts

ah, this episode! i have heard it is very scary. so i’m curious to see how creepy it can be. usually what gets me the most is body horror, at least so far. 

i’m really not a horror fan so i’m interested to see if this will push my limits or just be kinda silly. remember that evil AI in like s1 episode 8? and when it was unplugged it said “noooo, brad :(“ or something like that? yeah that one just made me giggle lol

(author's note after seeing the episode: what...)

(additional author's note: read to the end to see why i think this episode might be actually about the civil war's long-term consequences)

how far we have progressed since then! 

let us begin!!!

we open with a storm and some scary music. pretty intense for the first few seconds. oh, now someone is giving birth. it is very dark and hard to see but it appears these individuals do not look like your average fellow off the street.

GAG! slurping noises are produced as the baby emerges. birth counts as body horror btw i do NOT make the rules. EUGH the umbilical cord…

(sorry y’all pls take no offense to those who have or desire children someday... it’s just something that makes me feel dizzy to watch but i support your dreams and choices i promise 🙏)

okay, but the baby is crying so that’s usually a good sign right? like better than a quiet baby, i think.

but a bunch of people are leaving after the delivery and i thought they would stick around to do things like look at the baby and see if it is healthy and stuff. but no. they’re leaving. where are they going...

they’re digging a hole?????? WHAT DA HELL. BABY IN THE HOLE??!!!!!! while someone cries terribly. OMG the grief…

WHAT THE HELL???

what have i gotten myself into……

intro time. always gonna think about that tweet regarding scully’s glamour shot on her ID. anyway just in case you forgot the truth IS out there.

so we see some kids in a place called home, pennsylvania, and they’re playing baseball. you know how children are, with their baseball. it’s as serious to them as a senator running a reelection campaign. 

kid knocks the ball over the fence, and onto the property of “the peacocks”. the kids will NOT go get the ball, and instead find a spare. seems they prepared for this, or could maybe find a place that isn’t next to a very scary house to play ball, but i understand spacial constraints.

OH???? the kid is digging his foot in to go swing and…. BLOODY PUDDLE???? THIS MUST BE THE BABY FROM BEFORE????

he backs away as we see a tiny hand in the dirt. that poor kid omfg he must have been traumatized… and his sneakers were so bright and white…..

cutscene to mulder in the field after all the kids have fled! ah, mulder loves his baseball. in fact, he even sniffs it. he’s practicing his pitching LMAOOOO please be serious for FIVE minutes. 

scully is measuring the hole while he does all this. in fact, he is not stopping. it just keeps going while she talks about the angle of the shovel.

she makes some quip about quitting the FBI and becoming a spokesperson for the ab roller, when he SHOVES THE BALL UNDER HER NOSE and says “smell that” THIS MAN IS SUUUUUCH A WEIRDO I LOVE HIM

“it’s perfume. eau de ball” (stupid little mulder smile)

very strong juxtaposition between baby death and a daydreaming mulder, but that is the sort of thing we have come to expect from this show. he seems enchanted.

WAIT! he’s talking about his sister… “all-day pickup games out on the Vineyard” and going down to the beach… no cell phones or faxes… oh man, this baseball has him talking about his family :(

“mulder, if you had to do without a cell phone for two minutes, you’d lapse into catatonic schizophrenia” <- WELL GET HIM! it is true. he is always making calls and then abruptly hanging up.

feels weird to be smiling like a fool at my screen as these two talk about their lives after seeing the opening scene... but here we are!

“scully, you don’t know me as well as you think you do. you know my work demands that i live in a big city, but if i had to settle down, build a home, it’d be a place like this” 

OHHHHH MY GOSH

1. he has though about settling down and having a life outside of his work, and this is such a character reveal, and i know he wants like a small army of children, and

2. i just KNOW those words are gonna come back and bite him when this place is revealed to be some sort of cult

she says it would be like living in mayberry which i had to google BUT: it is the town from the andy griffith show. ah, i see. so very quaint.

someone pulls up to see them and i paused at just the right time to see that mulder’s shirt is very baggy and living up to my URL, which is good because sometimes i worry it’s a bit TOO niche, but i made it after watching 4 episodes so i’m too attached to change it now. meanwhile, scully’s coat is wonderfully sleek and it’s a fun little contrast.

this is sheriff taylor, who says this is a very small town, and there are no real suspects. mulder asks about the peacocks next door, and the sheriff goes… quiet. apparently three boys lived there, and their parents were hurt in an accident. the sheriff and his team tried to administer care to the parents, but the boys took the bodies home??? that’s. odd.

so these peacocks have no electricity, grow their own food, and… are inbred. the sheriff says they are feeble and sad, and wouldn’t have any idea what they are talking about. which just makes me think they are the prime suspects.

the sheriff is saying that he loves his town, it is quiet and peaceful, and he knew someday it would change when something terrible happened. when he saw “it” in the ground, he knew that day had come. he seems convinced it’s an outsider but also he is purposefully ignoring all the evidence in the other direction. and he wants their help, but he doesn’t want anything to change. 

(i see... this is about the terrible secrets of small towns and the wish to keep everything quiet and preserve an idyllic image rather than make meaningful change)

apparently they were recommended to help out when “the victim” was described, so mulder says that maybe they should go take a look.

and whew, when they cut to a bundle of blankets next to some cans of spam (that look like they’re partially covered to hide the branding?) it’s a lot. it's a lot to handle, for me, emotionally, but i guess that's a fairly normal reaction. the sheriff just pulled the baby right out of the fridge. we also meet a deputy named barney.

they shove poor scully in a tiny bathroom with just a sink in it to do her work, because they don’t want anyone else seeing the autopsy go down. the sheriff says they can’t do it in his office, because everyone knows he never locks his office door, and they’d start rumors. this whole small town thing is starting to seem quite oppressive.

mulder is also here in this tiny closet-like bathroom, and i can feel the claustrophobia from here. despite the lack of space, scully begins.

and she is taken aback, but not as much by the fact that it is a child but that said child “has been afflicted by every rare birth defect known to science”. mulder has his arm on the wall leaning in and watching in a way that is weird for the space.

we only see a few shots of the baby- thankfully, because i don't think i could handle seeing any more of it than we do- but it’s enough to make me go whew, shout-out to the props department for making something that looks like that, because that is how i cope with seeing things on this show that make me nearly faint

she is reciting the various things that this child has been born with, and mulder says that they can probably rule out murder, right? but scully says idk… it looks like it WAS murder, actually. dirt in the nose.

lord, they walk out after doing that and somehow don’t need to like, down some vodka or something to cope. 

“imagine all a woman’s hopes and dreams for her child, and then nature turns so cruel. what must a mother go through?” oh my gosh is scully gonna make me cry…

“apparent not much in this case, if she just threw it out in the trash”, says mulder, while they sit on a bench on he is manspreading like you would not believe. but i assume they are in a tough spot mentally so manspreading is permitted in this situation.

“i guess i was just projecting on myself”, she says, and oh my gosh does scully want kids someday…. stop i’ll cry!! i’ll cry. 

“well, just find yourself a man with a spotless genetic makeup and a really high tolerance for being second-guessed and start pumping out the little uber-Scullys” he says, rubbing her back.

and i can’t decide if this is funnier if he’s truly and deeply down terrible for her and suggesting subtly that HE could be that man, or if he’s just being a really good pal. so i’m gonna turn around both options in my head for a while and see which sticks.

“what about your family?” “hm? aside from the need for corrective lenses and a tendency to be abducted by extraterrestrials involved in an international governmental conspiracy, the mulder family passes genetic muster” (said with a celebratory flourish of his hands)

oh my gooooooosh i love them both so bad. he is SUCH a nerd. and his constant need to joke about the horrible things… even when they are approaching a serious topic, life ambitions and the desire to start a family, he has to go in there with some sarcasm to avoid getting Too Serious...

see? he has good genes. allegedly. go forth.

but he sobers up, points out that the child they had to just examine is a serious tragedy, and some likely very young parents are probably incredibly scared. but this isn’t really an FBI matter. 10 points to him for being serious for once.

she is brainstorming how such a thing could happen- “now, we all have a natural instinct to propagate” “do we?” <- ace mulder subtext i see you…

scully is convinced that the woman who gave birth to that child did it against her will, and mulder points out that kidnapping is a bureau matter… she seems determined to save someone caught in a horrible circumstance here, and i admire that about her, the sense of justice she has. she gets up to go investigate.

but he calls out: “hey scully- i never saw you as a mother before” <- OH MY GOD??? OH MY GOD. i can’t even begin to process that right now. oh my gosh it seems like he has wanted kids SO terribly… but scully never really brought the subject up, which is fine because not everyone wants kids!! but what does it say about her character if she DOES…? i am analyzing.

i hope she is happy someday with whatever she chooses. music is playing as he looks after her. do not for a second think i missed that little musical flourish and gaze combo.

so, they go to the peacock's farm. where they find a chopped off pig’s head on the steps. it doesn’t seem to bother them at all, which must be a testament to the strength of bureau training.

mulder tries to do his usual “enter first and ask questions later” thing, but scully STOPS HIM, saying there is no probable cause.

WHAT!!! for once they did NOT JUST BURST IN!!??? their random entering of places is one of my favorite running gags and for once they didn’t. oh she is serious about this one…

so they just peek inside instead…. and then they get their guns and go inside after seeing a table covered in blood. oh…. the scissors from before…. yes, bloody table = probable cause

there is blood everywhere, and the footprint from the crime scene matches the footprint in blood on the floor. AND they find a bloody shovel. well!!! we know who did it now!!! but… where are they??

it is soooo dark and creepy as they make their way through the house. and someone is WATCHING THEM THE DARK as they investigate. BLEUGH we get an extreme closeup on their eyes…….

i am spooked.

now scully is on the phone with sheriff taylor, who is describing the warrants for the arrest of the peacocks he put out, while mulder slams a TV in their hotel room, trying to get it to work. typical mulder behavior

(i bet they felt a need to incorporate some silly moments to lighten out the heavy heavy heavy content, and honestly i didn't think it would work, but for me it kinda is. don't get me wrong, it's still VERY heavy, but it's not start to finish just trauma like we got in calusari, which stands out to me as being the darkest and least fun episode in the series so far. but let mulder sniff a baseball a little and smack a TV and our agents talk about having a family and it is slightly less overwhelming in terms of tone)

and she brings up the white cadillac they found there but he says get a lot of abandoned cars. damn, who is abandoning a cadillac...

what is this sheriff hiding…?

he pulls out his gun from a locked box, and seems deeply regretful. before he puts it back in the box… hmm…

back at the peacock farm. the brothers are packing what looks like clubs into the cadillac. and i notice how silent and scary the whole thing is… no music whatsoever.

meanwhile, mulder is doing a little dance to try and get the TV working, which scully is smiling at him in a way that implies long term affection and exhaustion. i want to get those gifs and save them upon my blog forever and ever.

he’s trying to watch the knicks game, but as she heads out, he says “goodnight mom”, and she looks… uncomfortable. i mean, it’s a weird thing to say, but still. he says a lot of weird things and she doesn’t always look sort of… hmm. idk, the only phrase that comes to mind is “cut to the quick”. i WILL be analyzing that.

she tries to leave and the lock is broken, so he places a chair underneath, which might do something but like… probably not a ton.

anyway, back to the cadillac, where the brothers are pulling out while listening to music. where are they going….

sheriff taylor is up late at night, “taking one last look around before it all changes”. oh, he loves his town… but it is rotten, like mulder says. AND HIS WIFE DOESN’T LOCK THE DOOR AS THEY COME IN!!! NOOOO!

the brothers are on the move, while scully sleeps and mulder watches a fuzzy documentary on hyenas?? okay. king behavior.

but back at the sheriff’s house, he can hear the brothers approaching, and pulling into his yard. oh no…. he looks out the window and the brothers aren’t there. so did they already get in…?

he’s going for the gun, he says, and they enter his house. and he’s got a baseball bat, but where is the gun! they have clubs! like the kind the bad guys in zelda use!!! they look very very dangerous!

he hears them approach as his wife is under the bed……… and he swings his bat at the intruder, but he is barreled right over, it’s three on one, and they beat him RIGHT AS HIS WIFE SEES THE WHOLE THING FROM UNDER THE BED. and they sniff and sniff and FIND HER UNDER THERE????????

what the fuck. who came up with this…….. that song is still playing as they get in their car and leave. i'm sure the song also has some significance to the meaning of what these guys are doing but tbh i have never heard it before so it's hard to unpack.

the deputy is at the scene of the crime the next day, smoking a cigarette, hands shaking in terror. he had come over to give the sheriff a report… and found them that way.

so the owner of the cadillac was found in baltimore, she had left it behind after running out of gas. this is not a lead in the slightest.

mulder is investigating the scene while scully pulls out files from the crime lab, and it is. well, it is very bad, to put it bluntly. the crime scene is horrific. 

she says that the crime scene messed up the tests on the infant… but mulder proposes that… perhaps each of the brothers were the father? she talks about how babies are made and how that makes no sense, but he proposes that generations of inbreeding could maybe make such a mutation. but she says that isn’t possible, they’d need a female family member and there aren’t any left. hmm...

scully wants to try and trail them right now and go save whoever it was that was forced to give birth, but mulder points out that they are outnumbered and could further endanger the victim. what to do…? i don’t know the answer. 

oh! the deputy barges in and says he’ll take them up there so it’s three against three. and they have guns, which should give them the advantage. okay. shoutout to the deputy.

mulder seems suspicious however, and says his suddenly entry was a bit “too chuck bronson for me”. so yeah, i had to google that too. this chuck fellow is the guy from machine gun-kelly. and NOT that sleazy rapper one. the more you know.

scully is confused, though, because why would they kill the sheriff? he didn’t even investigate them. unless they somehow overheard them talking about issuing the arrest warrants while in their house… and they are operating under the assumption that the brothers were not in the house when they were…. but we know that someone was in hiding!!!

OH! back to the house. one of the brothers declares he is hungry. we finally get a semi-decent look at them, and they are incredibly gruesome. someone is under the bed still…. 

and when they declare that they are “ready”, they strip down. they knew this day- and change- was coming, and all they can do is be ready for it. this is our home. and this is the way it’s gonna stay. 

again, i ask, who came up with this……

the deputy and our agents are on the property, now. deputy wants to come in from the front and let them take the back. a brave thing to offer, but i am slightly suspicious of him. they have wired headsets on and bullet proof vests on, and he is going in.

so they’re approaching- scully and mulder in the field, the deputy out in front. scully is peeking through binoculars but she doesn’t see anyone inside!!! it has to be a trap!!!!

OH MY GOSH!!! just as scully tells the deputy to not go in, he opens the door and an AXE SWINGS DOWN AND CHOPS HIS HEAD OFF!!!!!

i am sorry for being suspicious of you, deputy. may you rest in peace.

mulder’s reciting his facts from the hyena documentary. they are witnessing something akin to prehistoric humanity. but he has an idea: divert them out of the house, so they don't have to deal with their traps. it is a good idea.

so they are sneaking into the pig pen, which had to be a pain to shoot. “scully, would you think less of me as a man if i told you i was kind of excited right now?” he asks as they try to get the pigs in a line to topple like dominoes or something???

“is there some secret farmer trick to getting these things moving?” “i don’t know!” lmaooo these city slickers...

they’re shoving pigs straight out the gate, and she’s trying to say some magic pig words from babe, which her nephew apparently watches all day. you know what that means...

! SCULLY LORE REVEAL ! she has a nephew!

but there are more pressing matters at hand than a lore reveal as one of the brothers emerges, falling for their piggy trap. we see them in daylight now, and it is an unsettling sight. 

as the brothers try to herd the pigs back in, the agents sneak in, with mulder picking up a giant log to poke open the door. and it is a good thing he did that, because a trap descends right on the log that surely would have beheaded him as it did the deputy if not for the log taking the axe/weapon thingy for him. thank you for your service, giant log.

they sneak in beneath the log and close the door as if nothing went down. scully is yelling to see if anyone is in the house. they’re doing a sweep in excellent coordination. mulder mumbles “oh no” and i’m scared but he just picks up a newspaper that says elvis is dead and frowns 😭 his ass cannot be serious for more than five minutes 

but something approaches!!!! they enter the bedroom and see photos of generations and generations of this family, with varying conditions. and at this moment mulder notices that someone is under the bed!!

he’s trying to say that they’re here to help, but whoever is down there is screaming, screaming at them to go away. so scully tries to move the bed, but she’s strapped to a board underneath the bed, and they pull her out and…. oh my gosh, she has no limbs, i think? it’s dark and hard to tell. they keep her under the bed..........

mulder says they’re going to get her home, but after a glance at the pictures on the wall, scully says that she already IS home. it’s mrs. peacock. the mother of the family that they thought died in the car accident!!!!!!

she is sobbing and they roll her back under the bed, with mulder having a horrific look on his face, unable to process what he just saw. 

mulder is back on the prowl to find the other brothers. and he tasks scully with trying to convince mrs. peacock that she is the only one who can get “her boys” out of here without them being hurt. a mighty task, indeed.

she walks away, and he says “scully, w-watch your step” and he’s worried about her and i want to cry. oh!! we see a trip wire……….

so scully goes back to mrs. peacock, explaining that she needs medical attention, and the agents are here to help. she says that this is their home- why leave it? she has to see if the boys are okay. 

and she lost her limbs in the accident that killed her husband. “sewed me up just like the family learned in the war of northern aggression” OH! so that is an WILD thing to say in pennsylvania. but it was at this point i thought i was putting the pieces together for an extended metaphor...

but she insists she felt no pain, and that no one in the family does. and they’re such good boys. scully points out they murdered three people, and mrs. peacock says she can tell scully has no children, but maybe someday she’ll learn the pride and the love “when you know your boy will do anything for his mother”

well i think you probably just made her swear that off forever!!! so!!!!!

the brothers see mulder in the window, and they start to run in. and as he holds one at gun point, another tries to bash in his head, so scully shoots him. but this isn’t enough to take him down! and the other one joins in on their attack, so it’s two against one tag teaming mulder!!! oh my gosh scully can you use your perfect aim???

yes, she can, but despite emptying the whole clip, they aren’t hurt!!! 

they’re running and running and dodging a whole lot of terrible blows, and scully yells out that she has the mother! she trips over the wire and one of the traps falls RIGHT into one of the brothers, seemingly finally taking him out.

she notices marks on the floor, and when they go back for mrs. peacock, they can’t find the other brother or the mother.

so they put out an APB for them, saying that in time, they’ll catch them. but he counters with “i think time already caught them, scully”

cutscene to the cadillac- where mrs. peacock says that “sherman and george were good boys”- SHERMAN? a union name? edmund, sherman, and george… 

it ends with mrs. peacock saying that there will be more peacocks, and they have to find a new home, make a new family to be proud of. she is in the trunk of the car while she says this.

okay so first thoughts: WHAT THE FUCK.

this episode definitely lived up to its horrific reputation. but i can’t figure out exactly what it is it MEANS!

beyond exploring the horrific topics of generational abuse, i feel that there is something a bit deeper going on here. i actually felt so compelled to see if i was imagining things that i went on the wikipedia page for the episode, which spoke of its themes on the american dream and the nuclear family. those themes i see for sure- how mulder was talking about settling down in a place like this, so quaint and quiet, how they started discussing their own desire for a family, and how every idyllic thought about what a family could be was upended on its head with the peacocks. that made sense to me. but...

that line- “the war of northern aggression”- was what the confederates called the american civil war to justify their rebellion. this is notable for the fact that this whole episode took place in pennsylvania, which was a union state- but somehow, they got so twisted up in their own hatred that they’re parroting the lost cause ideology over a century after the war.

the repeated motifs of “things being the way they are in a small town, in our town, in our home”- is that a symbol for the festering of post-civil war wounds? the inability for the war to make meaningful change when it came to the attitudes of the people on the losing side, who continue- even to this day- to spew their hateful ideology? the inbreeding metaphor- is that a representation of how hate begets hate begets hate, generation after generation, compounding and corrupting by the lack of intervention from outsiders who are too afraid to change “the way things are” and call out harmful behavior? and the newspaper from elvis’s death… is that another allusion to the family (or perhaps certain parts of the country) living entirely in the past, in addition to their lack of electricity and water, just stewing in their own hatred? even the name- home- reminds me of the “house divided cannot stand” rhetoric. is this talking about the rot of "back in the good ol' days" thinking?

or if not a metaphor for the country, and instead just the horror of abuse? of how people can feel that things are the way that they are, and so that makes it correct, no matter what the cost? about how warped perceptions of family can be made and shaped? and the fact that mrs. peacock went along with all of this, despite being the biggest victim of the family... is that to speak on the twisted nature of gender roles and how they are weaponized in familial abuse?

i have to clarify that i am not an expert on abuse in the slightest; i am just trying to work through the themes of what i just saw. you know how it is on this blog; i do my best to interpret the big issues, but also recognize that i can only see and comment upon so much.

i'm really, really curious to hear how you interpreted the episode, though. or how audiences have understood it in the past, or if it has ever been re-evaluated. what did the cast and crew have to say on it? i want to know.

man. this is gonna really make me ponder. i want to know. it was too purposeful to just be a “wouldn’t it be fucked up if…” sort of situation.

regardless of the terror, i actually thought this episode was pretty good. it felt cohesive, not just a sideshow of horrible things to make you feel shocked. and we learned more about our characters- their ambitions in life, the possibility of a family someday dangling over their heads, and the terror associated with everything that could go wrong. i think there is always some fear about starting a family (i wouldn't know, but i do read books and stuff), and for scully to just now vocalize her thoughts on the subject and to immediately see this case- i can only imagine what it did to her thought process.

i thought the more light-hearted elements were working at the beginning- mulder's TV dance, baseball time, the merits of their genetics, family talk- worked well at first. but by the end it was just... damn. that was a lot. maybe that is the indication of a successful episode, that it can take you along heavy subject matter with a sense of character analysis and horror, but end with just terror.

i'm not a horror fan outside of this show, so the balancing of the heavy and the humor always baffles me a little bit. i don't know how other materials do it, so i can't really say if it could have been done better or worse. i think the important part though is that they don't turn the tragedy itself into the joke. it wasn't giving "point and laugh at the horrible peacock family!" it was finding humor in other situations, that ultimately still surrendered to the sober feeling of what humanity can do.

whew. this one is definitely gonna stick with me for a while, and i’ll need like 12 hours to formulate my thoughts into something comprehensible. but, you ask, did you like the episode?

yes! while i'm not sure i'd watch it again for funsies, i thought our agents had to confront some inner demons while also learning a lot about them together and individually, which is exactly the thing i want in an episode. i think it brought them closer and they understand each other better, and i think we're getting into some real juicy parts of their relationship. i can't stop thinking about him rubbing her back- how terribly devoted they are to each other, regardless of if either of them can put that into words. those dynamics of devotion that go beyond words- it's so special to me.

and sure, i'll take the bait, and daydream about them living together... i am not above fan service in the slightest. it is me, the fan, who loves to be serviced.

but again. i'm spooked.

[ancientforgcd]

General

This blog mainly focuses on Honkai Impact, Genshin Impact Cthulhu Mythos, and Honkai Star Rail, along with various original characters and other fandoms like Dragon Ball. The primary characters I often feature are Magnum Tenebrosum and Kiana Kaslana. While these two are the main focus, I also occasionally highlight other muses and themes, depending on my current interests and creative direction.

Selectiveness 

-I’m a semi-selective roleplayer and I will only roleplay with mutuals. I will kindly ask for you to please check and make sure that we’re mutuals before interacting with me, if you do not then I will ignore you. If you persist, then it’ll earn you a block.

-Please do not reblog threads you are not apart of or reblog ooc posts. It’s rude to do, but feel free to like any thread or ooc post you want.

-This is a supportive and friendly space. I stand by my friends and fellow roleplayers, so if I notice any form of harassment, I won’t hesitate to block to maintain a safe and enjoyable environment for everyone.

-I don’t have exclusives since I know people come and go just as blogs do, but if we’re very close friends (or just roleplay a lot together) I don’t mind coming up with verses specifically for our muses.

Memes, Asks & Plots 

-My inbox and IM are always open for asks, memes, chatting, plotting, etc.I’m all ears for whatever creative ideas you’ve got cooking.

-Reblog Karma? Nah: Here’s the deal - you don’t need to feel any pressure to reciprocate when sending asks. Feel free to reach out whenever the inspiration strikes, no strings attached! And as for me, I might reblog directly from you or the original source, depending on what’s easiest at the moment.

-Curious about my character? Got a question for me personally? Bring it on! I’m more than happy to answer most questions. Just a heads-up, in-character (IC) asks are a mutuals-only zone, but I’m open to all sorts of other questions, whether we’re mutuals or not. Though, I’ll be a bit selective with those.

Characters & Roleplay 

-Ruby is Canon-Divergent and won’t be played any differently. Most other muses are played by how I interpret them.As for my other muses, they’ll be played by how I interpret them.

-Some muses have codenames, some use them, some don't. Really depends on the circumstances.

-All muses are multi-ship. Each ship takes place in its own verse.

-I love seeing new faces! Feel free to bring your OCs or canon characters into the mix. Just make sure there’s a short bio or some basic information available for them.

-Some of my muses are gonna be overpowered. If you don’t like the fact that you’re essentially going to be seeing deities and other powerful individuals in equal measure, then this blog is not for you.

An important thing to read, which is relevant for this blog, as taken from this.

-My muses are multi-dimensional, capable of both good and bad deeds. Their actions are shaped by the tone and circumstances of each thread, keep that in mind. -No God-Modding, Please: Let’s keep our roleplay fair and fun for everyone. If god-modding happens, I will talk to you in a civil manner. It’s all about respecting each other’s characters and their stories.

-All Genres and Lengths Welcome: Whether it’s novella-style depth or light-hearted crack, I’m open to all kinds of roleplay. Bring on the variety!

-Slow and Steady Roleplaying: Just a heads-up – I’m on the slower side when it comes to replies. But don’t hesitate to nudge me for a response. I promise to get back to you, though it might take a bit of time.

-Real Life Comes First: Remember, the real world keeps me busy with work and daily commitments. So, please bear with me if my responses take a while.Thank you for understanding.

NSFW & Triggers

-Mature Themes Ahead: This blog features mature content, including torture, gore, and sexual themes. If these topics are not your cup of tea, feel free to use the unfollow button. Or, if you prefer, let me know and I’ll tag these posts for easier navigation.

-NSFW Content and Tags: Most stuff NSFW occurs on Sunday, or as we all collectively call it, Sinday. Any and all Sinday content and threads that happen are considered non-canon and will happen on @lewdforged.

-Trigger-Free Zone: Personally, I don’t have any triggers. However, I’m always mindful of the content I share and its impact on my followers.

-Approach to Angst: While I have a penchant for roleplaying angst, an overabundance has somewhat dimmed its appeal for me. So, expect it to appear only sparingly.

-Dealing with Anon Hate: Anonymous hate messages will mostly be ignored. I might post them occasionally, especially if I’m feeling a bit sassy, but they won’t get much of my attention.

-Drama-Free Space: Drama, should it arise, will be sidestepped or tagged accordingly. I’m all about maintaining a positive and enjoyable space here.

Icons 

A special shoutout to Cloud-Ya, the amazing artist behind the HoV icons. Big thanks to them for granting permission to use their work.

Word from the Mun

Thank you for reading my rules, fam. My name is Joy Boy and it’s nice meeting ya. There won’t be many details on myself, but do know that I will answer most questions that are asked about me. I have a few mental disorders, but won’t say what they are.

That aside, I am here for the roleplay and stress relief, not for some petty drama and god knows what else, hence why I don’t associate myself with the RWBY Fandom and neither will I participate in any callout or otherwise drama either. Most of us are adults here, so let’s act like it.

Worry not, there is no password here and I will send in any myself once I read your rules as well.

[buckets-thought-dump]

Is it OK if we can be friends?

Man, this is gonna be a long post. Hope you’re ready.

I’ve been thinking for a while about answering this question because I don’t even know if I should reply to it. Not because of actually addressing the actual question but because I have other things to say about it.

(This is the second time anons have asked me vague questions I can’t answer due to them being anonymous so from now on I’ll use them as jumping off points to talk about something tangentially relevant to it that I do want to discuss)

A lot of the time, when I follow or like posts by other artists that I really like, in the back of my mind I always sort of hope they check out my stuff and/or follow me back. Very rarely they do which is always a fun surprise, but most of the time they don’t. I only hope for this because I personally pretty much always check out the people that like my stuff or end up following me, although this is mostly because my follower count is already so low I can actually take the time to do that. So knowing that I often hope for something like that to happen, I can very easily imagine that would be the same for people that follow and like my work! Which is a really strange thing to think about if I’m being honest.

But more often the reality is that even if I spent some time going through your posts and trying to understand a reasonable estimate of your personality, it would not be a good measurement of judgement to know if we could be good friends or not.

To put it simply, and I’m saying this in the nicest way possible, I do not know who you are! And frankly it’s also very likely you do not know me well enough either to make a fair assessment on if you actually want to be friends with me or not.

Like I know the idea of being friends with an artist you really like sounds really appealing but in reality it would probably end up being really awkward because you very likely don’t have much to talk about because again, you don’t know them!! Hell I barely know any of the artists I follow but I just follow them because I really like their work and they inspire me to make my own stuff too.

You could maybe argue that if you don’t know each other well that creates an opportunity to actually get to know one another but the more likely scenario with parasocial relationships like these is that one person (thinks) they know the other person very well, because likely they do know a lot about them based on what they have posted, but the other person knows absolutely nothing and needs to play catch up to have a decent conversation. Not even mentioning that personalities don’t always come across 1:1 in anything they post. Long story short, this isn’t a good dynamic.

Really the only good way to really get to know someone is to simply talk to them, get to know them from the way they talk to you one on one and what they end up being comfortable with sharing to you as an individual, because more often the stuff someone is willing to share with you individually is often very different from what they’re willing to share publicly. And more importantly they need to have as much of an interest talking to you as you do talking to them. (Oh this is just basic relationship advice isn’t it)

But what I’m really saying with this long ass post is that making online friends is hard, and I think it’s interesting that when you really like someone and their posts, and you think you’d really love to be friends with that person, they very likely have absolutely no clue who the hell you even are. And maybe that’s for the better because you probably don’t know them as well as you think you do either.

So honestly the best thing you can do is at least start up a conversation somehow to let them know who you are and what you’re like. (I obviously don’t mean post a short bio in someone’s comment section, I mean let them know your thoughts about their artwork or their opinions about your post, also be nice)

I think most artists prefer seeing comments over likes anyway so yeah I’ll probably leave it at that

[kariachi]

Thinking about stuff... Okay so we see a green carrying, I can’t remember if it was three or four good-sized people off the top of my head, but it was one of those. She’s said to be able to do this because dragons can carry as much weight as they think they can due to telekinesis (which 1) gotta love it when the ‘don’t tell me it’s impossible’ thing actually works for a proper reason, fuckers can teleport and have telepathy why not, and 2) if this is the case why do you fuckers not have armor for these poor things?!). So if weight isn’t the upper boundary on how much a dragon can carry, then we have to assume it’s space. There’s only so many people you can safely cram onto a dragon, before it starts to affect their maneuvering, risk injury, or even just start risking bitches falling off because they’re hanging off the tail.

So, what can we assume that number would be?

First up we have to think about how much space we can generally expect a person to take up, then relate it to how much space any given rank likely has for along the torso.

For this we’re going to assume the space taken up along the length of the back is equal to the buttock-knee length plus the foot length, and that individuals are expected to sit in a kneeling position- because while I can accept riders being able to sit ahead of the wings, like fuck passengers can, especially on a green, as we’ll be getting to. Based on the numbers I’m finding, this would give us an average of 33.6 inches per person, or 2.8 feet per passenger, plus about 11 inches for the rider which we’ll round up to 1 ft to keep things neat and give a bit of wiggle room. 

Now, as dragonlengths are a unit of measurement based off the length of green dragons- shocker- we can assume that when dragons are measured it’s from nose to tailtip, as ‘the length of a dragon without her tail’ would be kind’ve unintuitive to base your large-scale measurements on. Most creatures with a long tail are only measured to said the base of said tail, and we aren’t told how much of a dragon is tail, but the standard estimate that I’ve seen seems to be the length again, or half the total length, so let’s go for that here first. Now, my estimated average green length was 22.5 ft, so that would make our estimated length without the tail 11.25 ft.

The next problem we run into is figuring out how much of that 11.25 ft is the head and neck. Unfortunately this is one of those things we just don’t get information on, but we can work from some assumptions. For instance, we know that the head and neck can’t make up half the remaining length, because then we wouldn’t have space for our minimum number of riders on an average green. To reach that minimum of three people on board, we need a body length of at least 6.6 ft.

This would give us a combined head and neck length of 4.65 ft, not too bad for something described as long-necked. Your average rider would probably still be able to drape themselves over their green’s neck from their seat if they so wished without dropping their chin on her head.

Now if we were talking four people, then suddenly we need 9.4 ft along the back. We’ve got to take that additional 2.8 ft from somewhere. And this is where I go ‘okay, let me go find All the Weyrs of Pern real quick’, because listen, would you want to muss more than you need to with numbers this close? We have two greens, four smiths, assuming everybody distributed themselves evenly- and with Fandarel involved you know they did- we can assume the greens are carrying three people each, including their riders, so I am gonna call that their max and move on with my life.

So, based on all that, what we’re looking at here is a dragon’s head and neck taking up 20.6% of their total length, their tail taking up 50% of their total length, and their body taking up the remaining 29.4% of their total length. If you want cleaner numbers you can round the body length up to 30%, give people more room, and lower the head and neck number down to 20% even.

Using this and my estimated average dragon lengths we can come up with an estimated maximum for people on a dragon of any given length. An average would be as follows-

Greens- 1 rider, 2 passengers

Blues- 1 rider, 2 passengers

Browns- 1 rider, 3 passengers

Bronzes- 1 rider, 3 passengers

Golds- 1 rider, 3 passengers

“Wow, that’s not a lot,” you say, and I say, the size difference isn’t actually that great. An average gold would have an estimated body length of 11.76 ft, but to fit a fourth passenger she’d need one of 12.2 ft. Ramoth could manage it easy, but even she wouldn’t be able to manage a fifth. Humans just take up a lot of space. Of course all this is assuming adults, you could probably fit more kids, but it’s likely not recommended outside of emergencies.

Of course the problem we run into here is with how fuckers stay on. We know people strap in, but I doubt you want to have straps running from a dragon’s hips all the way up to their shoulders, or all those straps attaching in one area. You can’t strap around the middle because, well, there’s wing in the way. So, I propose two things.

Dragons have different strap set-ups depending on if they’re expecting to have passengers or not. A pair going into Fall is going to have the basic rider’s straps, while pair going on Search or on a rescue will have on passenger straps.

Passenger straps run down the back of the dragon, but are secured at the shoulders and, depending on where the wingsail ends, either the hips or the hindlegs and possibly tail. Passengers then strap on down the line. This would make the passengers in the middle less stable, so likely everyone is also strapped to each other so create a sort’ve semi-solid situation. where the people in the middle are held in place by each other and the people at the ends as much if not more than the main straps.

Whether this would work I’m not sure, but it’s the best I can come up with this late into the evening and without scrapping canon.

[savebylou]

The redefinition of success after One Direction.

I listen to Demi Lovato on the Zach Sang Show and they talk about the type of validation they recieve after releasing a project: "I wasn't patted on the shoulder after a, you know, like playing a soccer game and saying good job, I was rewarded by awards and places on the charts and that came with a lot of responsability".

Thinking this with the members of One Direction, in the book Who We Are they mention how the record label and management told them they need it to get the # 1 single and album, always want the bigger venues. Their expectations always have to be big.

After the hiatus, is interesting how each of them has redefine their concept of success and what they want as solo artists:

-Louis said in 2019 [About the measure of success in 1D]"We're obviously chasing the biggest tours, the biggest singles and stuff like that whereas you know, I've done that. I've done some amazing things in the band, I've play some amazing venues you know, I got some amazing awards along the way, so I just sat in my room one day and I was just thinking what more do I want? I might just as well do what I love, so it got a lot easier after that".

In the same interview Louis explains his measure of success: "I think doing what I love and you know being able to go on their roud and do things like that I think I'm halfway there like definetely, because you know I'm comfortable, I'm happy doing music I'm doing, I'm gonna be able to get out and see the fans that's all I hoped really".

In 2022 Louis mentioned: "We did it all in the band, so like that's been an interesting thing for me of kind of redifining what the word success means to me and what's gonna make me ambitious and what's gonna make me happy and what I need to, you know, what I've got left to achieve." "Is not that I don't feel I can't lose right now but if I don't win on radio, if I don't get radio support you know, if my record label decided tomorrow that they didn't want to be with me anymore etc., etc., I still have my fans and I still have my tour."

-Harry in his documentary in 2017 said: "The thing with the band is that it went so well from the start, that it felt everything have to be a little bigger each time and I think at some point it's quite stressful, there is only so high you can go at some point, you're not gonna make that expectation." " Going out on a high and now feeling like I'm starting fresh, came to terms with the fact that was so great and if I never get to do that on that level again, that's okay".

In 2020 Harry commented: "The worst thing that can happen is that I make a record that I think everybody else wants to hear, and then it doesn't do well. And you sit there going "Well I wish I'd just made the record that I wanted to make." I think if you're making what you want to make, then ultimately no one can tell you you're unsuccessful, because you're doing what makes you happy. That's the biggest thing that I learned this time."

-Liam said in an interview in 2023 : "I finally have something to say. I think you know trying to learn yourself in such an envoiroment it's a difficult thing and kind a need it to go away for a little bit just to kind of find out more about myself before I came back to it." "I love the new sound that we've got and I think everybody will enjoy it as well." "I'm just happy to put the record out and if it works it works if it doesn't it doesn't".

-Niall in 2017 mentioned: "I know in my heart of hearts that no matter what any of us do individually it will never be as big as One Direction,” “I have stuff that I want to write about I have a sound I think I’ve got down. It’s a competitive world out there and if it’s a world where I can bring this sort of music out there and be somewhat successful, I’m happy with that."

In 2023 Niall responds about his plans for the next 10 years: “I’d like to still be doing this, going around the world, still playing to thousands of people. I’d like to win a Grammy. I’d like to be happy. And to still have decent skin.”

-Zayn in 2017 said: " I don’t really want to do shitloads of promotion. I’ll do the music interviews and stuff like that, that actually have something to do with what I’m doing." "I don’t buy into that side of things. I just want to do my music. If people hear about me from their friend, it’s cooler than me being in their face all the time."

For Zayn I couldn't find interviews that talk about his measure of success, but for what we have see over the years, he has prefer releasing music and having a more private life without doing a lot of promo and not going on tour (althought he said recently he wants to go on tour).

Reading all this answers, for my perspective, the boys accept what they achieve in 1D, but in their solo career they didn't put their projects to compare on that manufacture expectation. Each of them decided to follow the music they wanted to make regardless if that will be popular. I'm just so proud of them, that they found their own path and are happy doing the music they want to make and growing as artist and finding their own solo success.

[welcometomyweird]

Change the F*cking Channel

This one is kind of... well... VERY political and I will make no apologies. We’re living in a time where simply being human is political. If you don’t think so, you haven’t been paying attention. And you NEED to pay attention.

There is an amazing podcaster by the name of Micah Hanks. While better known for his eponymous show centering on UFO/UAP phenomenon, he did have a great current events podcast called Middle Theory which I have binged a few times. One of the recurring themes on the show was the issue of “cancel culture” and... yeah... I have things to say on the subject. 

No, I’m not taking Mr. Hanks on. On the contrary, we’re very much of a similar mind on the topic. Mr. Hanks, in my opinion, expressed the pitfalls of cancel culture rather sensibly and eloquently. I just want to take a few moments to share my feelings on it.

I was born in 1980. If you remember the 1980s, you remember that it was the “liberal” left declaring war on music and video games. (Take a breath. I’m a Progressive Liberal, so you’re not gonna be getting MAGA bullshit. And if you want MAGA bullshit... go somewhere else.) Tipper Gore, Al’s missus, is the reason why nearly every album in my metalhead kid brother’s CD collection had a parental advisory label. It’s been “liberals” decrying simulated violence in video games for violent actions among young people. (Not, of course, addressing issues like home life, mental health issues, bullying, etc.) 

Now, it wasn’t just the left, of course. Who could forget the late Jerry Falwell’s homophobic crusade against the Teletubbies? And, as a child of the 80s, I clearly recall conservatives losing it over shows like He-Man, She-Ra, Rainbow Bright, The Care Bears, The Smurfs, and my personal favorite, Captain Planet and the Planeteers. Why? These shows promoted tolerance, inclusion, environmentalist ideologies and, in the case of Captain Planet, Neopaganism. They weren’t wrong about that, but being a Wiccan kid, that’s why I loved this stuff. But, you know, you can’t promote tolerance and inclusion because that’s a threat to “traditional values”. (Translation: Christian values) 

Back in the 80s and 90s, when both sides were being painfully stupid about what American kids should and should not be allowed to consume, the general public seemed to have the same attitude. If you don’t like it, don’t consume it. 

What the ever-loving fuck happened? Look, most reasonable people can agree that there are some ideas that are harmful. Calling for violence against any individual or group is bad, regardless of how you might feel about them. Hate-speech is unacceptable at any time. However, due to the 24 hours news cycle and it’s 10 second sound bites as well as the proliferation of social media, there is no room for nuanced discussion. Some public figure says something that gave you boo-boos on your feelings, cancel them.

Like I said, I consider myself to be a Progressive Liberal, but I come from a more moderate/centrist time. I come from a time when it was possible to have well reasoned and measured dialogue about opposing viewpoints. I come from a time when the fringe elements didn’t have 24/7 platforms to barf up their conspiracy theories or their anti-whatever manifestos. I come from a time when schools promoted critical thinking. *sigh* Those were the days...

Obviously, we had people try to limit what could and could not be disseminated, but we had ways around it. If you remember the 90s, you know it was all about independent media. Independent music labels, pirate radio, independent coffee shops with open mic nights, zines... man, I miss my teens! This was how Generation X and “Elder Millennials” got by the censorship. And now... they support censorship because that was cancel culture is. 

Let me give you all a little more perspective. My parents were Boomers. When they were kids, there were only 3 broadcast television networks and a handful of AM/FM radio stations. Print media was how most people consumed the daily news and news media was forbidden to report on anything BUT the news. No pundits pontificating and giving their opinions. They just gave you the facts. (It would be great if we could get back to that.) When my parents were young, the married couples could not share a bed in films or television. Lucille Ball broke ground for women’s rights when she refused to hide her pregnancy on her show, “I Love Lucy”. (She also helped get Star Trek made, so praise her name, nerds.) 

Compare that to today. We have hundreds of thousands of podcasts spanning just as many genres and topics. Mr. Hanks has half of them! (I tease with love. He only had 3... for now.) Broadcast television is almost dead, but it’s still out there with hundreds of channels and then you have the growing number of video streaming services. Social media is.. well, it’s a cesspool, but it’s there. We are in a time where we actually have too many options for our entertainment and for our information. And yet... one show, one person, one song, one “something” sets off a small demographic and everyone has to come out in force and demand that he/she/it/they get “canceled”. Why? Change the fucking channel. Find something else. You have the freedom to choose... just like everyone else. 

Alright, I’m done. End rant.  

[nerdygaymormon]

SOME families are forever

The thing that bothers me most in how Elder Oaks’ speaks about LGBTQ people is how casually he throws away queer people. Several times he has spoken of queer people being consigned to lower kingdoms of heaven, unable to qualify for exaltation and he does so joyfully. Queer people are automatically excluded from the Celestial Kingdom and it’s gonna be great for them.

Elder Oaks also says the Church is here for people to become exalted. In other words, queer people can’t be exalted so the Church isn’t so concerned about us and isn’t here for us. Really? A church that claims to be God’s true church is designed to exclude whole segments of God’s children?

The other thing that bothers me is when I point this out, most members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints basically shrug. They got theirs and don’t want to rock the boat and possibly wind up with us in the lower kingdoms. How does this fit with the parable of the shepherd who left the 99 to rescue the 1?

This has always been jarring to me, the idea that the Heavenly Parents who made me gay also didn’t make an accommodation for me to return to them. How is this loving or fair or hopeful? That doesn’t sound like the God I know.

According to church doctrine, the gay or trans person you love is separated from you, not for 100 years, not for 1000 years, not even for a million years, but for forever. Does this punishment really fit the crime (if it even be a crime to be queer)?

For the parents and family of LGBTQIA+ individuals, they’re okay being separated forever from these people they love? Why is it they aren’t saying, “well if that’s the case, I guess we’re all going to a lower kingdom.”

It seems most Mormons don’t have a lot of sympathy for people not included under the umbrella of eternal sealings. Too bad most queer people can’t be exalted, but it’s an acceptable cost so that others can be. 

We speak as though most people, or at least most people in church, are going to be exalted and live with God in the highest levels of the Celestial Kingdom. However, that’s not true, not even for your ward. To be exalted requires a marriage of 2 people sealed together who are living up to all their covenants. 

What if one spouse stops believing? Not only do they drop out from Celestial glory, but they also pull their spouse out with them. I know parents who put a lot of pressure on their children who are making choices that rob the parents of their eternal family—no empty chairs. No matter how faithful we are, how many covenants we make and keep, our salvation and eternal family is dependent on others who may let us down. 

We teach, “Families are Forever,” but what we really mean is “Some Families are Forever…and it may not be yours because life is long and things happen.” We’re all on the verge of ‘not togetherness’

We use the “ideal family” as the measuring stick and if you’re family isn’t “ideal,” then you won’t be saved in the Celestial Kingdom. As long as your family fits the ideal, this seems hopeful and good. What of the convert who is the only members of their family? What of people whose children have left the church? What of those who are divorced or never married? What of people with an abusive spouse or parent?

I appreciate Chieko Okazaki’s words from her book, “Turning Hearts to the Family.”

A divorced family is not a broken family. It’s a family with a particular set of circumstances that it needs to work with. A family with a gay child is not a failed family. It’s a family with a member who needs special love and understanding and who has love and understanding to give back. A family with a pregnant teenager is not a dysfunctional family. It’s a family with a complex set of decisions to make. I don’t think I’m going very far on a limb to say that I know that you either have someone in your family with at least some of these problems or this is what real families deal with the real world and they don’t stop being families

Instead of preaching the ideal family, wouldn’t it be better to talk about family ideals? Things like love, compassion, trust, responsibility, forgiveness, honesty, integrity, service, kindness, loyalty. 

Families can look like a lot of things, there’s not just one configuration of people who qualify as a family. Let’s honor all families as holy, let’s recognize the good and beauty families add to the world and to the lives of those who exist within them. 

Love the people in your family, have joy with them, maintain good relationships with them, that’s how we honor our family.

[fansblogarchive]

Shattering My Expectations (again, word limit)

That Lightbulb just can’t be stopped, can she? She never fails to… well, fail. I counted today as the sixth time Lightbulb has shattered, the sixth part in an incessant pattern that you just can’t help but marvel at! Because, well, what else can you do? Look down on her for being careless? Heh. Just sit back and enjoy the proceedings! Now I know what you’re thinking. Fan, this is great and all, but what of the other five times Lightbulb has broken into pieces? Surely these groundbreaking moments cannot be ignored! Oh, you are quite right about that! For here I shall list off every occasion so far in which our irreplaceably light-headed light bulb friend has cracked us up! And no… I’m not referring to her sense of humor. At least, I think she’s purposely making all of those jokes. She’s trying to be funny, clearl- eh, let’s just move on. 1. Penciled In – A Lightbulb shatter was never expected or planned on any schedule. Why? It is because it had never occurred before, that is, until this fateful day. Now, as a writer myself, I know the pains of writer’s block. But I’m sure it doesn’t hurt as much as a pencil straight to the face! That’s gonna leave a mark that you can’t erase… Yet how would this landmark event be followed up? In a way only Lightbulb could! 2. Not a One-Shot Wonder After All – That last one may have been the first time we saw Lightbulb break, but unlike many musical sensations that have graced our radio stations, she came back with a vengeance. Several vengeances, actually! As for this one, it’s a classic comedic fall over a rock, and it’s during a challenge. Lightbulb’s shattering became one pattern, and her… memorable performance during Season 1 team challenges became another. She always knew just how to mishandle a group effort- I mean- well, um. She’s just perfect, okay? She has her own standard that she’s measured by. She’s Lightbulb. 3. The Episode 5.5 Scene-Stealer – Oh, Lightbulb certainly had a small amount of screentime in this already bite-sized minisode, but she makes the most of it by sticking her landing squarely between a captive Paper and Baseball! Forget Baseball’s book about where life itself comes from! I want to know where irreplaceable diving champions like Lightbulb come from! That way… I can stay away. This is reckless behavior, honestly. Who would bring up their kid like that? 4. Into Thin Air – I just don’t know how she does it. Seriously, upon her rejoining, Lightbulb miraculously fades into existence, betraying any semblance of gravity until she promptly decides to hit the ground. I’ve watched this countless times, and I still wouldn’t be able to explain it. It honestly makes no sense. Then again, neither does Lightbulb. But hey, at least she’s not like certain other individuals that happen to be on my team. I’m willing to brush off that issue, though! Brush. Off. Brush… next time, okay? You’ll understand soon enough. 5. Dropped out of the Game – Now don’t let this heading fool you. Lightbulb would never drop out of II. She’s too stubbornly unaware to ever consider that! You just got to love her, for even when she’s eliminated from the show, she still goes out with a bang, or perhaps more like a “keilkeicccc”! It’s difficult to describe. 6. Holiday Trip – One of my Internet friends said it best – Christmas ain’t Christmas until someone gets severely injured. It’s a very special time of the year, and you can just count on there being some sort of complication. It’s one thing when you receive a present you don’t want, but it’s another when you stumble over a rock and hurt yourself as you land upon a blanket of fresh, white snow. It’s like becoming incapacitated on a puffy cloud, it stirs feelings in you that… I don’t understand and quite frankly make me feel a little too aware of myself and immensely uncomfortable because of it. Let’s get off this subject! 7. Support Me – Just as Lightbulb was about to give Paintbrush some help- Wait just a moment! This is number 7! I stated on INANIMATE INSANITY, a show I dearly observe and respect, that this was the SIXTH time Lightbulb had

[wonlouvre]

pairing: doctor!wonwoo x lawyer!female oc genre: modern royalty, arranged marriage, fluff and future angst word count: 5.2k!! WARNINGS: is an awful lot of fluff a warning?

author’s note: FINALLY!!! AGAIN!!! i can’t believe we have reached part 5, you guys ;_; i never imagined this fic would even be liked by so many of you. i am so grateful to even receive notes from the first part up to the latest. i appreciate all of you! please let me know what you think. this is the part i have been excited for, so i hope you are excited too! enjoy!!!

five: the one | masterlist

What happened at the hospital made you cling to Wonwoo in the most subtle way possible. You wouldn’t even consider messaging his phone clingy. But yes, you have finally taken a hold of his phone number. Back then, Jeongyeon was the one who contacts him about your joint schedules. And now, it’s you that personally calls or messages him. Mostly messages. Aside from talking about the official duties you have been assigned together, one of the main reasons why you took the initiative is you just want to hear about whatever from him firsthand. You did notice, however, during the first time you sent a hello, it surprised the Prince a little but he just shrugged it off. You’re embarrassed but you brave through it because it’s only normal to communicate with your future husband.

You try to start and hold conversations with him from time to time but it doesn’t last long. It’s alright though. It’s not like you want to talk about his childhood through message bubbles. You’re also aware that a buzzing phone is the most unwanted item when he’s on duty unless it’s an emergency call. It’s also the same for your job. Staring at your phone while waiting for his reply has caught Jeongyeon’s attention already and she has not hesitated to reprimand you. 

“What’s gotten into you?” Jeongyeon asks and drops two lunchboxes on the center table of your office. “Are you still sick?”

You purse your lips and shake your head no, eyes not leaving the bright screen of the small device.

“Come on,” she calls and steals the phone from your hand. “It’s time to eat. I prepared this especially for you.”

You scoff in disbelief, but the smile on your face says otherwise. You stand from your chair and follow her to where the mouthwatering food is at. 

“I didn’t hire you to cook for me though,” you say, reminding her how she doesn’t have to do this. 

“Ey,” she dismisses your words and hands you the spoon to start eating. “I’m just helping His Highness out.”

Your ear perks up at the mention of the Prince. “What?” 

“He didn’t tell me to cook for you, don’t worry,” she quickly informs, noticing your face forming a frown. Then, she smiles. “He just wanted to make sure you’re eating right and well. And, it just so happened I had the time earlier to prepare this. Ta-dah!”

She opens the lid of the first food container and your stomach growls in hunger at the sight. A set of colorful vegetables, fully cooked meat and warm rice were presented before you. By the looks of it, she really did have the time earlier.

“Should I thank you or the Prince?” You ask in jest.

“Of course you should thank me!” She holds her chin up and points to her chest proudly. “I’ve been taking care of you for the longest time while His Majesty just started. He can actually learn 

a thing or two from me, you know?”

He’s taking care of me, your thoughts echo, making you smile. 

You’re definitely calling him later. 

The wedding planning resumes in no less than two weeks after navigating back to your usual routine. And on this one fine Saturday afternoon, Wonwoo decided to drive his own car and have you with him to go to your wedding planner’s office together. He messaged you and you welcomed the thoughtful gesture. He picked you up from your apartment, much to both of your security details’ dismay. Jeongyeon sent you a bunch of heart gifs afterwards and you can picture her screaming (silently) at the top of her lungs. 

This is the first time you’ve seen Wonwoo in the two weeks that passed and it’s kind of awkward to be alone with him in one small space. This is also the first time you have witnessed him driving. Security is tailing behind though. They are really not fond of letting the two of you out of their sight. 

This car ride is quiet aside from the radio playing some mellow music. Wonwoo has his hands on the steering wheel and his eyes on the road. Which is good because as much as you want to stare at his handsome face, you need to hold yourself back. You let your eyes wander to the view outside the window instead.

Wonwoo doesn’t seem to notice your shyness and that eases your worry because you really don’t want him to think you’re shying away from him. You actually want to talk. Talk about anything and even everything. But, how? 

After you called him that one time, you’ve started speaking to him by call here and there. Before his shift starts, after his shift ends, before he goes home or when he’s at home and even before he goes to bed. They’re just casual calls that didn’t even last longer than ten minutes. That’s about it. Phone calls. But now, you are face to face and you don’t seem to know how to form words anymore.

Unbeknownst to you, Wonwoo noticed your dilemma and spoke up first.

“Do you want to grab something to eat after?” 

“Huh?” You ask, snapping yourself out from the thoughts occupying your mind.

“I figured it would be nice to catch up and all,” he explains, sparing you a small glance before quickly bringing his eyes back on the road. “Coffee or tea will do if you’re not that hungry.”

Warmth surged to your face. What kind of question was that? Of course you’d love to! You’re just holding yourself from shouting a loud YES! with a bite of your lip because you don’t want to sound overexcited. 

After a beat of silence, you boldly answer, “I’d like that.”

Wonwoo smiles and reaches his hand out to yours, squeezing them not only once but twice. His touch reminds you of how he held and kissed your hand that one time he accompanied you back to your apartment. Your breath hitches and you hide your surprise with a small smile. He lets go after a few seconds but those few seconds almost made you faint. 

You gulp, heart attack is inevitable with this man.

The meeting was short so you and Wonwoo decided to drive to the nearby coffee shop you passed by earlier. The place wasn’t packed and the facility was notified by security to make sure that distance and privacy from the public is observed. Such protocol is not enacted all the time and you are free to go out and about together or individually but sometimes these measures are taken into consideration to make sure that your safety is not compromised. Especially if there are topics or discussions that should be reserved only for the parties involved. 

Such as now when Wonwoo just casually dropped an engagement party bombshell to you like it’s the morning paper.

“An engagement party?” 

“Yes,” Wonwoo confirms, a nervous smile drawn on his face. “My mother, in her own words, thought it would be lovely to hold an intimate and simple party back home.”

“Oh,” you mutter and place the cup of coffee back on the table.

“Do you mind leaving us for a moment? I’d like to speak about this with the Princess alone,” Wonwoo politely dismisses the security detail and they obeyed with no protest. 

Once they’re gone, Wonwoo stands from the chair he sat on when you arrived and takes the space on the loveseat you chose. He takes hold of your hand, an action you noticed he’s been confidently doing lately. You opened your palm for him because you don’t mind. But a little warning next time is much appreciated because your heart can’t take any more of his surprises.

“I didn’t know we had to hold an engagement party,” you start and he agrees in a heartbeat. “I thought after going public, that would do it.”

“I know and I’m sorry,” he apologizes in a pout and that gave you the strong urge to squeeze his cheeks. Which you actually did. Your urges are becoming stronger than your own will whenever you’re with him.

He smiles at your touch and you roll your eyes when he winks at you. You guess it’s not only the hand holding that Wonwoo has been confident of lately. He has started to always search and meet your eyes and stay as close as possible to you.  Earlier after locking the door of his car, he  held your hand and the wedding planner couldn’t hide her pleased grin when she opened the doors of her office.

He also has the same confidence to escape from trouble, just like now. Although, of course, you’re not saying Her Majesty is causing trouble. It’s just nerve wracking to go to your future in-laws house for the first time. You’re sure any soon-to-be wife would feel the same way. 

But then again, you’re not just any ordinary soon-to-be wife.

“I heard the beaches there are lovely,” you mention to lighten the mood.

“Yes, they are,” Wonwoo guarantees, his arm now completely around your shoulders, fingers grazing the skin of your shoulder every once in a while. He’s completely warm and you wonder if he’s warmer when you finally get to see him in his hometown. 

You exhale and reach for a napkin to wipe the remnants of the cupcake he took a bite of off the corner of his lips. “Well, I guess I’m gonna have to file for a vacation leave then.”

Wonwoo’s eyes light up, an excited smile forming on his lips. No words were needed to describe how ecstatic he is to visit home. 

With you.

A week went by and you are now officially invited by the neighboring kingdom for a two-week stay at their Royal Residences. Your parents, the King and Queen, have received the official invitation and they have given orders for you to travel at the convenience of your time. They wish to come along but they do respect the Prince’s parents wishes to spend time with their future daughter-in-law. 

This is your last day of packing and preparing before the long car trip tomorrow and Jeongyeon is all smiles while helping you. She had mentioned before that when she was younger, her family annually travels to the beach there because of how breathtaking and relaxing they were. You can tell she’s very excited through her humming as she zipped the last of your bags.

Jeongyeon placed everything you’ll be bringing near the door of your bedroom to not miss out on anything when you depart tomorrow. She then leaves after resting for a few minutes, bidding you an excited goodbye and see you tomorrow. 

A while later, after scanning your whole room with hands on your hips, you let yourself breathe out and plop down on your bed. The week that went by was oddly busy and tiring. It scared you for a moment because you thought this might hinder you from leaving. But thankfully, after meeting your deadlines and satisfying clients that asked for your legal counsel, the two weeks to come is all yours and Wonwoo’s for the taking. 

You draw your phone from your pocket, thinking of ringing Wonwoo to check on him. But the sound of your doorbell distracted you from doing so. Your brows knit in confusion. You’re not expecting anyone other than Jeongyeon today. Well, you don’t expect anyone other than Jeongyeon ever. 

Nevertheless, you stand up and walk outside the comforts of your bedroom. 

You peek at the monitor near your door and your eyes widened like saucers when you saw the person waiting on the other side.

Wonwoo.

It didn’t take your fingers long to punch your code and unlock the door. You didn’t even bother checking if you completely unlocked the door because your feet sped to open it yourself. 

“Hey,” you greet and finally get a good look at his form. He’s wearing an oversized grey hoodie and black jeans outlining his long legs. It won’t take a minute to guess he just finished his shift. 

“Hi. Sorry. Did I come at the wrong time?” 

“Did you drive here?” You ask instead of answering. Exhaustion can be clearly heard from his voice and it makes you frown in worry. 

“No, no,” he assures, giving you a tired smile. “I am way too exhausted to drive.”

You didn’t need words to let him in. You just opened your door wider and turned around to walk back inside, certain he’d follow.

You can’t see it, but Wonwoo’s tired smile brightens when he sees you comfortable around him. The first time he stepped foot here was brief and today he’s hoping it lasts a little longer.  The moving car earlier almost lulled him to sleep, but he resisted to not miss telling the driver where to drop him off. “I’m sorry again. You were probably busy.”

“Don’t be,” you say and sit on your couch. You then give him a smile and pat the space next to you. “Now sit.”

Wonwoo returns your smile and takes a seat, dropping his small backpack beside the couch in the process. He lets his head rest sideways and closes his eyes briefly to regain some energy. 

You pout and reach out to remove the fringe blocking his eyes. “Have you eaten?”

He gives you a quiet nod before snuggling closer to the couch. “I just wanted to see you before we leave tomorrow.”

You’re rendered speechless with his words, heart definitely swooning. Without thinking twice, you pulled him close to your body by his arm before securing his head to your chest. His eyes blinked in surprise, but he welcomed the affection anyway. He closes his eyes again and nuzzles his nose to the crook of your neck. Soon, his arms are wrapped around your waist and your legs are over his lap, almost sitting on them. A cozy silence is shared between the two of you. 

“You have two weeks to see my face uninterrupted,” you whisper while running your fingers through his soft locks. 

Wonwoo’s lips stretched to a blissful smile and you can feel it against your skin. “Can’t wait Princess.”

Your first day at Wonwoo’s kingdom has you booked. Similar to the act of kindness their Majesties extended to your kingdom, your parents returned their generosity by donating for the construction and development of a public hospital. 

Although a courtesy call to their Majesties should have been your first agenda, their Majesties granted you permission to attend the ceremony commemorating the official start of the project. 

Wonwoo’s arm served as your anchor as the two of you stand before a cheering crowd. You make sure to keep a genuine smile and give enthusiastic waves whenever they shout for you. But, you are aware that they are much more excited to finally see their Prince back on their soil. You smile and give Wonwoo a glance who does the same. He holds the hand that’s snaked around his arm, a comforting touch to help keep you calm. 

After the Secretary of Health gave his closing remarks, the ceremony ended. The two of you bid farewell but not before you have extended your greetings to everyone present and wave one last time to the persevering crowd. 

The climate here is no different from your home. However, you must say that there are still some distinctions after seeing the port and the view of the sea. Even though you have been here before, this trip is a whole new experience because you’re about to be wedded to someone who belongs here. 

“Y/N, my dear.” The Queen joyfully opens her arms after you formally greeted their Majesties with a curtsy. You gladly reciprocate the gesture and hug her back. 

Wonwoo greets his father on the other side with a bow, but His Majesty wanted to envelope him in a hug instead. His embrace definitely says how much he missed his son after a long while. 

“I am so delighted to have you here,” the Queen says, rubbing both of your arms to warmth. “I hope the car ride wasn’t exhausting.”

You shake your head while smiling. “It was alright, Your Majesty.”

Her smile grows bigger. “We’ll let you settle down first before we proceed. We have prepared a room for you and the rest of your staff. But, I’m sure Wonwoo wouldn’t mind sharing his with you.”

You blush at her cheeky wink and you can see Wonwoo grimace from your peripheral. His Majesty just laughs at his beloved’s antics. 

“Your mother is joking,” the King assures and gives his son a pat on the shoulder. He then moves to your direction to finally give you  a hug.

Wonwoo steals you away from the loving couple, afraid of what else his mother will blurt out. He holds your hand again and you just giggle when you see him narrowing his eyes at them. 

“We’ll be taking our leave then, Your Majesties,” you say and bow once again. 

Their Majesties nod and wave goodbye. “See you later!”

There are still some instances where your home is called The Palace, however as times have changed, the Royal Family has opened its doors to modernity. It’s now usually referred to as the Royal Residences. Wonwoo’s home had done the same and you’re a little relieved that their customs are not that different from your homeland. 

Jeongyeon follows behind as Wonwoo gives you a brief tour to help you navigate around necessary rooms you’d be going to such as the kitchen, library, entrances and exits. All the while, his hand remained clasped with yours. 

The Jeon’s have made their mark on their residence and it’s not that hard to see. It’s too early to say but you can see how it is originally them. From the wallpapers, flooring, artworks, furniture and more. It’s nothing uncomfortable. It’s actually exciting and you’re looking forward to the days to come. 

Shortly after Wonwoo’s tour, you have arrived at the door of your designated room. 

“If you need me…” Wonwoo says, then pauses, hesitating. 

You tilt your head to the side, trying to decipher where the sudden shyness is coming from. You try to hide your grin. This is one of the rare times you see Wonwoo not making eye contact. 

“Your room is at the end of the hall, I know.” you finish his sentence for him and his eyes widen in surprise. Now, you are laughing indeed. “Her Majesty might have shared the information when she hugged me earlier.”

Wonwoo groans and palms his face, embarrassed. He loves his mother, a hundred percent. But, she’s testing it by how much she’s teasing him. 

You squeeze his hand. “You should get some rest. I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

“Okay,” he answers, face still red. “I just hope she doesn’t rub herself on you.”

You shake your head at his remark and let go of his hand, reluctantly. 

“See you later, Princess.”

You adore the emerald dress that your mother had personally designed for you to wear on this special night. She actually surprised you three days before you left, presenting a huge box and smile when you arrived at the Royal Residences. She even told you how long she had this in store and she can’t believe that such a day she’d see you wear it would come. 

It’s a long-sleeve and backless dress with intricate patterns you believe only your mother would ever come up to. Looking at yourself through the mirror clothed with such a dress makes you confident and strong, reminded by the Queen who’s much more than you already are. 

Once zipped up, Jeongyeon helps put your official crown on the top of your head. The last time you’ve worn this was when your parents celebrated their wedding anniversary. And tonight it carries a different meaning and duty because you’re wearing it for the first time in a while, at your engagement to Wonwoo. You really wish your parents could be here. You’ll have to make sure to take and send a lot of pictures.  

“You really look beautiful, Your Highness,” Jeongyeon praises, looking from behind you as she does some finishing touches for the last time. 

You smile and thank her. 

A knock on the wooden door has your breath hitching. This is it. You release the breath you briefly held before turning away from the mirror to walk towards the door. Jeongyeon helps you with the train of your dress then holds the doorknob, waiting for your signal.

“Whenever you’re ready, Your Highness,” she whispers. 

You nod and hold your head high. “Let’s go.”

Wonwoo is no stranger to wearing formal clothes such as black suits with either a bow tie or necktie. Although he’s more accustomed to wearing scrubs and his white coat ever since he started working, he still remembers how his mother used to scold him whenever he arrives at events with a disheveled or mismatched tie. All the while, his father just laughs and fixes it for him, without fail. 

But this time, he promised to do things right out of respect to the woman of dignity that you are. Well, he’s of age to know how to do such simple tasks anyway so he really does not have any excuses. 

He humors himself and dust the invisible dust on his shoulders. 

It’s been a long while since you and Wonwoo have been engaged and yet his thoughts and heart are still all over the place. It’s nothing bad to worry about. In fact, he has grown fond of your company already and he won’t deny that the affectionate moments you have shared are more than enough to leave butterflies flying in his stomach. 

He then checks the time on the watch his parents gifted him on his graduation. He better get going if he’s to meet you at the banquet hall. He doesn’t want to keep you waiting like the day you asked him if he really wants to marry you. 

He wouldn’t be late at all because he does want to marry you. 

There. He finally said it and tonight will officially seal that with his parents, the King and Queen, and his people as witnesses. 

He gives himself a last look in the mirror and then takes his leave before a knock on the door is even heard.

It came as a surprise when you saw the color of Wonwoo’s necktie that is visibly similar to the color of your dress. It may sound unbelievable and a tad bit cringey, but your heart can’t help but flutter when it catches your attention. 

Wonwoo was already standing at the entrance of the banquet hall with his hands behind his back, eyes down on what seems like his brand new shoes and heart and mind patiently waiting for you, when you appeared before him. 

When he looks up and sees you at last, his big smile welcomes you. You can see his eyes brighten up when he sees the color of your dress and your nerves are a little bit relieved. 

“I didn’t get the memo, but I’m glad we’re matching nonetheless,” he says when he takes your hand to wrap around his arm. 

“Are you saying that this is a remarkable coincidence, Your Highness?” You teasingly reply as the two of you face the closed doors, awaiting to be opened. 

“Hmm. I think it’s our mothers,” he deducts, making you laugh. “But I’d like to call it meant to be.”

Your ears heat up at his last statement and you have to bite your lip to avoid smiling too wide. 

After a few seconds and static exchange from walkie talkies, a loud voice announces your attendance followed by opening the huge doors of the banquet hall. Inside, a number of guests not exceeding a hundred and fifty are standing from their tables, clapping as you and Wonwoo enter. 

You feel like the two of you started everything right from the very beginning until now. Your only hope is that it lasts, even just for tonight. 

Wonwoo’s family was nothing but all smiles when you met them. Brief yet sincere greetings and hugs were exchanged when your fiancé introduced you to them, the family that you’re soon-to-be part of. 

Wonwoo’s hand remained on the small of your back as you moved around the hall to meet every guest. You only got separated when his parents had to take you to different groups of people to engage and socialize. But still, from time to time, you and Wonwoo would meet eyes. 

The dance floor was opened after dinner was served. You couldn’t eat much as your nerves hindered you from doing so. It concerned Wonwoo, afraid you could be sick or not enjoying it. But you dismissed all his worries. Telling him you’re more than okay, just nervous. You finally convinced him when you held his hand. 

A little while later, Wonwoo excused himself to go to the restroom. He squeezes your shoulder and mutters a quick, “I’ll be back.” You were left to watch the King and Queen’s turn to dance their number and you cheered along with everyone watching the sweet exchange. 

So far, you are enjoying the night and as the party is nearing its end, you feel grand. 

What could possibly go wrong, right?

The presence of an ex-lover. 

Okay, that sounded spiteful, even for you. But seeing them standing from the distance and chatting had your heart dropping a little. You turn your eyes away and remind yourself that a minimal change of your expression can be noticed by the hundreds of people present at this party and you can’t let your jealousy be the trending news for tomorrow. 

You swallow the lump on your throat and plaster a smile on your face. You can’t and won’t let this get to your head. There’s nothing bad about catching up. Who knows, they may have chosen to remain friends. Even though you really don’t know how things ended between them. 

Your knuckles turn white from tightly gripping the napkin placed on your lap and your cheeks hurt from how fake you are smiling now. 

But then you ask yourself, why are you restraining yourself from going there and introducing yourself? Introduce yourself to the girl he once considered marrying. Introduce yourself as the one he’s marrying now. 

The jealous side of you is screaming for you to stand up but the lawyer side of you is telling you to stay composed and-

The lawyer in you doesn’t win tonight because before you know it, you have already stood up with feet taking you to where your fiancé is. 

Wonwoo’s back was facing you when you see and hear her giggle as you near them. You sneak behind Wonwoo, almost making his soul jump out of his body, startled by you. But when he realizes that it’s you, his tensed shoulders visibly relax.

You smile and hold his hand, purposely ignoring the other girl. “Can we dance?”

WHAT? 

Your head grows dumbfounded at your question. You can’t believe yourself.

“It’s an honor to meet you, Your Highness,” Wonwoo’s ex-girlfriend introduces herself with a curtsy before he could answer your question.

You just nod, showing no interest at all. You could feel Wonwoo growing tense again as he grips your hand tighter. 

You don’t have any intentions of staying and holding a conversation with her so you return your eyes immediately back to Wonwoo and repeat your question. “Let’s dance?”

Wonwoo didn’t hesitate to give in to your wishes, pulling you to the dance floor without looking back. 

He smiles at you and you smile at him too, the other girl long forgotten. 

Later in the night when the music died down and the crowd has dispersed, you find yourself growing guilty by your harsh and curt actions towards Wonwoo’s ex-girlfriend earlier. It was so wrong of you and the need to apologize is imperative. 

“I’m sorry about what happened earlier,” you say while looking down on the floor. You and Wonwoo just arrived in front of your room and you have to do this before the night completely ends. “It was childish of me and I… I’m really sorry.”

Silence. 

You brows furrow when you don’t hear Wonwoo reply or mutter at least anything. You’re about to raise your head but Wonwoo’s warm hands beat you to it when he holds it gently and lands a soft kiss on your forehead. 

“She’s married,” he finally says something and that something makes you look up. “But I guess you didn’t notice because you only had your eyes on me.”

You punch his chest when he laughs, definitely not appreciating his teasing tone. “I can’t believe you.”

He’s still laughing when you pull away from him. You roll your eyes before turning to your door, ready to go inside and save yourself from further embarrassment. 

Wonwoo doesn’t fail to notice and immediately takes hold of your hand, tugging you back to his arms. You avoid his eyes when leans down and tries to get you to look back at him. He smiles and sneaks a kiss on your cheek. 

“Stop it!” You warn and push him away, but it was futile. “Are you drunk?”

Wonwoo shakes his head. “No.”

“Then leave.”

“But I don’t want to,” he whines and sways your bodies from side to side.

Wonwoo is now full on hugging your whole body to his and when you return his hug, he hugs you tighter and closer. He cradles your head with one hand while the other soothingly rubs your back. 

“We were young and wanted different things back then,” he suddenly tells. “We were committed to each other but it wasn’t meant to last and as time went by, we realized we were better off as acquaintances rather than as a couple.”

You sigh and snuggle closer to his chest as you listen to his story. “What about now?”

“Hmm?” He hums as he breathes in your scent. 

“Would you still want different things, even with me?”

Wonwoo backs off a little with his arms still around yours when he heard your question. That got him thinking. But it didn’t take him long to give you a sure answer. 

“I would still, yes.” He smiles and presses his forehead against yours. “But regardless, I’d still marry you.”

Your face blushes at his confession and you try to hide away by diving back to his chest. 

Wonwoo chuckles and finds your chin to lift your head up. “I hope it’s not too late, but you really look beautiful, Princess.” 

You don’t know what has gotten to you but once you lock eyes with Wonwoo, you hold the back of his neck and gently pull him down to meet your height. You push yourself up to give him a kiss on his lips. He freezes, but quickly melts right after and captures your lips to fully kiss you. It was only supposed to be a peck, but Wonwoo had other things in mind. 

A whimper can be heard from you when he deepened the kiss and you can only wish for this night to never end.

“Can I stay with you tonight?”

Wonwoo didn’t have to answer. He just holds your hand and runs. 

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

Genre Aware Anime where all the Characters are Actively Trying to Not be their Anime Roles

Okay so I’ve been seeing these posts about individual genre aware anime characters so...

I propose putting them all into one show.

We start in a house with a mother and her six year old son. The mother wears her hair in a side low ponytail. “Mom,” says her son with yellow hair, “where’s Dad? He’s never around! I HATE him!”

The mother freezes. Oh no. Oh no. This has gone too far - his tragic backstory is starting! She takes her hair down immediately and then grabs her cellphone and tells her son to shut up. Her logic is anime mothers who die are always the kind and nurturing ones, so by being the opposite, she will avoid death. After several rings her husband picks up. “What-” “Get your useless ass over here. You’re becoming a househusband. This dumbass’s tragic backstory has just started because you care more about your experiments for the government than your family.” There is silence. And then...

“No.” “Yes.” “You can’t make me.” “I’m divorcing you.” “That’ll make it worse!” “They’re never divorced though, so it won’t.” More silence. Then- “Fine, I’ll send in my letter of resignation. The stuff we’ve been doing is leaning a bit too close to an alternate dimension that my son can fall into anyway.”

We cut to present day. Bright haired kid has now just started high school. His dad is making food when he comes in and they hug. He has Mommy issues now instead of Daddy issues.

Yep, meet the Protagonist. His goal in life? To not be the main character.

“Hi, Dad, I’m going to go to practice.” Bright haired kid, who’s hair is now shaved off so he’s bald, is in a rock band. Why? Because he made no friends as a child and his parents saw the symptoms of Tragic Backstory SyndromeTM and just kind of let him wander into a practice in someone’s garage.

“Sure thing, son”

We cut to someone else - another boy dyeing his hair dark green. We can see that it’s white at the roots. “The traffic should be perfect in around half an hour! Least chance of death by a car accident or by a mysterious force!” Yells his mother from the kitchen. Yes, this is a White Haired Anime Boy. His goal in life? To not die.

“Okay!” Yells white haired anime boy, finishing up his dye job. His logic is that if he dyes his hair Protagonist colors then the Universe will get confused and the anime won’t happen.

His phone rings, and he picks it up to a video call. On the other end is the only friend he’s been able to make without being worried about dying due to a tragic betrayal. She has pink hair cut into a short undercut.

Yep, this is the Pink Haired Anime Girl. Her goal in life? To not become the love interest. Her logic? Love interests never have hair in a short undercut. They also don’t have nose piercings, which she got under the condition from her father that she wouldn’t make friends with any boys who’s hair is naturally a bright color. White doesn’t count.

“Are you going to die today?”

“No. Are you going to fall dramatically into someone’s arms today?”

“That’s rarer than you think but no.”

“Nice.” White haired anime boy checks the time. “I’m gonna rinse my hair. Bye.”

“Bye.” Pink haired anime girl says deadpan, because most love interests who aren’t kuuderes are either bubbly and happy or angry, and since her hair is pink, she figures she has less of a chance of being a kuudere love interest.

We cut to a large-breasted girl putting on a huge beige sweater over a long white skirt. Meet the Fanservice Character. Her goal in life? To not be a fanservice character. This means nerdy clothes, multiple layers all the time, and being very careful where she steps and falls.

“I’m gonna go now!” She yells into the apartment and walks out the door. For good measure she always wears circular glasses instead of contacts - stereotypes, baby.

“Uh oh,” she thinks as she approaches a curve. Careful, careful.

“I’m sorry!” She’s bashed into by someone, obviously hurrying, his hair is a mess and his bag is still open, spilling papers onto the ground, and...

He’s not laying on top of her, to accidentally touching her. Self defense classes, baby.

“That’s okay!” She says and hurriedly gets up before he can talk to her more. She wouldn’t mind being the love interest above a fanservice character, but she’d much rather be nothing at all.

We cut to a classroom, where a huge gaggle of students are all congregated around a few desks, loudly chattering and talking and throwing things at each other. It’s obviously a huge amount if people and at the center?

Sitting on top of the desk but in a normal way, not a super-cool rival way, is a dark haired anime boy with dark eyes. His hair is kind of spiky, too, but it’s brushed way out of his face as he talks to and yells at everyone around him, seeming to keep up with over twenty conversations at once. It’s like he never even stops talking to breathe.

Yep, this is the Dark Haired, Silent But Respected Rival. His goal in life? To not be an angsty brooding loner. His logic? If he doesn’t shut up he can’t be silent, and if he’s liked by everyone then he can’t be disliked but respected because he won’t be disliked.

“Are you doing anything this year?” Someone asks, and the boy nods. Yes, he is - as a Silent But Respected Rival, he has a wide repertoire of skills so he can match the protagonist in everything, but he only actually tries at two, so that he can’t get good enough to be a rival - theater and ballet.

His logic? Have you ever seen a theater kid Silent But Respected Rival, or one who does ballet? No, no you haven’t, because theater kids are dramatic bitches and that is exactly what this kid is.

But not in the brooding loner way. That’s way too Rival-like.

These kids have had their lives shaped by an anime they don’t even know will happen. Ultimately it does, but-

The Fanservice Character is the rival. She’s silent enough for it. She’s a rival to the White Haired Boy, because dyeing your hair protagonist colors does something. The love interest is the Silent But Respected Rival, who’s having a gay crisis the whole time. The Pink Haired Girl doesn’t die but chills in the background and provides very sarcastic commentary. The Protagonist accidentally winds up as the fanservice character.

[pumpkinpaix]

this is gonna sound so harsh but im legit tired of chinese diaspora people who think that bc they are of chinese descent and they have pleco they can act like voices of authority in the fandom. if modao is the 1st chinese book you have read pieces of with a dictionary, if you have never interacted with the actual chinese fandom, you are not part of the intended audience and your biased opinion is not the One And Only Valid Truth 🍵

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree | this is really hard for me to express in terms of an agree/disagree axis lol

genuinely cannot tell if you’re trying to shade me here anon lmao 😂

this got long and rambly (of course) asldkjfslj. i would love to make the excuse that it’s bc i’ve got a migraine and had No Sleep but. let’s be real i’m always like this.

ok i’ll start with where i agree: i don’t think anyone has the right to act like an ultimate voice of authority in fandom. i think different people with different backgrounds have varying realms of expertise and they should be respected when they share that knowledge, but that the instant someone starts to use that kind of power as a weapon against people they personally don’t like, i think they forfeit that privilege. no one has the one and only valid truth about a piece of media because that’s fundamentally impossible. i have definitely interacted with diaspo who behave like their heritage gives them some kind of incontrovertible authority over everyone else, and they’re fucking insufferable and often rather cruel, even/especially towards other diaspo. meet me in the denny’s parking lot and fight me for real. i’ll kick ur ass. >:c

however, I also think it’s true that there’s a lot of dismissal of heritage fans in this fandom, if that makes sense, from both sides of the equation: non-Chinese fans ignore our cultural hangups because they’re inconvenient, and non-diaspora disdain us for being not Chinese enough. that puts a lot of us in a position of feeling disrespected just for being who we are, or having our very real knowledge and unique experience as individuals devalued because of it.

regardless of my identity, I have formally studied a lot of things: literary translation, media analysis, the politics of oppression, film critique, religious studies, philosophy, four foreign languages etc. and that is all knowledge that I had to work for, and work hard for. I do have a certain measure of authority on all of these subjects over a layperson (to varying degrees), and there are going to be times when i will be more correct than someone who disagrees with me -- but I’ve also absolutely experienced people talking over that specialized knowledge because of who I am, which is, to be clear. extremely infuriating and hurtful. like, i have cried so much about it in the last 18 months. people see my racial and cultural identity before they see anything else, which is understandable to a degree, but upsetting when it becomes the basis for how my work is judged, whether positive or negative. i don’t want you to trust me blindly because i’m abc. I want to you to trust me because you have examined my work critically and judged it to be trustworthy!

so i guess this is getting into the strongly disagree part of the answer: i’ve been speaking a lot with other diaspora fans lately, and it’s been simultaneously hugely relieving and also really saddening. relieving because oh thank god someone else Gets It, and saddening because pretty much all of us, no matter what kind of diaspo we are (north american, european, SEA, taiwanese etc), we’ve all experienced a lot of pressure in this fandom, from non-Chinese, Chinese, and other diaspora fans alike. we’re all acutely aware that we are not modao’s intended audience because being diaspora vs being “from the mainland” or whatever, are actually quite different things, but modao still feels close to home. even if it was not written FOR us it is still familiar to us.

and, because so many of us are multilingual and multicultural, we end up being the bridge between the “actual” chinese fandom and the english-speaking fandom, which is largely made up of non-chinese. (sidenote: I hate it when people say things about being “actually” any identity because it’s almost always for the exact reason you brought up: to use heritage as street cred. it’s like damn, being “actually” chinese doesn’t make ur opinions any less rank. sure you might be “actually” chinese, but do you have basic reading comprehension and literary criticism skills? no? ok then sit your ass back down) many of us are most comfortable in english! so we produce our content in english! but we also DO often have a somewhat privileged access to the culture that underlies mdzs and can explain it in a language that other non-Chinese fans can understand. so it’s not surprising that people flock to us for answers to their cultural questions. and like. if we think we know the answer, it’s natural for us to try and help. this is fandom! we’re here to have fun and find community! and it is definitely a little bit nice to have my culture treated as something desirable for once instead of just like. a weird exotic curiosity that no one really cares too deeply about. and, since a lot of us are able to do things that non-Chinese fans can’t (research in chinese, for example. ask family members for help and more information etc.) we end up just having more information to share.

I think this sometimes results in a tendency for fandom at large to put heritage/diaspo fans on pedestals and tout them as authorities (or use our conflicting viewpoints as ammunition in fandom drama) when the diaspo in question have repeatedly stated that they should not be taken as authorities on something -- and then, once you reach critical mass, your reputation starts to precede you, and I think there’s a lot of misconceptions of how a lot of diaspo act in this fandom simply because of that phenomenon. most of us know that we’re not ultimate arbiters of some kind of cultural gateway, and it can be very tiring both to be treated as such when we insist we are not, and then punished by other people who assume that we acted like we were.

i don’t think there’s a benefit in trying to keep en fandom and cn fandom totally separate, and I also think it’s unfair to consider the cn fandom the “real” fandom. i think that way lies deeper misunderstandings, gatekeeping, etc. i think we can definitely acknowledge the differences between them, but i think trying to make meaningful connections between fandom circles is really valuable! i don’t think i’ve ever made it a secret that modao is my first cmedia fandom? so it’s also the first time i’ve had reason to interact with chinese fandom, which has been super enlightening and interesting! i’ve made some super cool friends and learned a lot about how fandom works in china, how it’s similar and how it differs from the fandom i’m familiar with.

and then, kind of circling back around, there’s also a bit of a sense like, okay, so if diaspo don’t belong in the CN fandom, but we can’t talk about our own culture with some degree of confidence in EN fandom, then like..... where do we go...? if we see EN fandom doing something that contradicts our cultural knowledge, do we just. not say anything? do we not count unless we’ve already ingratiated ourselves to CN fandom? that’s probably where the core of my strong disagreement comes from, because criticism of diaspora fans as like, acting above their station so to speak, feels just like a tired continuation of the same shit we’ve had to deal with for our whole lives, being told we’re not good enough for anywhere and that we should just be quiet and keep our heads down and get over it. that our opinions, despite coming from a unique perspective with a unique relationship to the subject in question, are less valid or real than “actual” chinese people, you know? and sometimes i see that and im like lmfao just sneer at me for being jook-sing and leave then if you’re so eager to think of me as lesser.

so yeah, basically im of a few minds: true! diaspora fans don’t get to throw their weight around just because they’re diaspo. they don’t get carte blanche to act like bullies or try to shape the fandom to their own personal liking and crusade against people who disagree with them. they don’t get to pretend their heritage makes them superior to everyone else, and i think western diaspora especially need to be careful when asserting any kind of moral lens over the text to acknowledge that we have our own biases to interrogate. i am not immune.meme etc. on the other hand, this vein of criticism tends to put all diaspo in a bit of a double-bind, and also, however unintentionally, plays into the general, continuous trend of dismissing diaspora for being diaspora, and i’m really not about that. i don’t think that’s the motivation behind opinions like this, but i do think that when the basis for the argument hinges on the idea that diaspora are not “real” chinese, no matter how much I too have beef with certain diaspora fans, the argument needs to be revisited. 

(ko-fi)

🍵 ((un)popular) opinions meme

[vkelleyart]

Thoughts on fandom: inclusion and engagement.

(Art credit to the kindhearted @penpanoply​!)

There’s been some stuff floating around on Tumblr about strife in the CO/WS fandom, and though I haven’t been explicitly named-dropped on anything public, my DMs have been... active. lol Rather than rehash what’s been said already, I just want to impart a little wisdom and perspective in the hopes it may soothe frayed feelings and offer a way ahead for cultivating a respectful community. As someone who has been an active participant in online fandoms since the mid-’90s, which was the advent of online fandom content creation (shout out to my fellow X-Philes!), and who has also spent a chunk of her professional life managing social media for the federal government and for activist groups, I can promise you it’s all gonna be okay.

Here’s some context for why strife happens and what we can do to create a more inclusive and communicative fandom environment. 

1) It sounds cliché, but fandoms go through growing pains. 

In the case of the Simon Snow fandom, what was once a small and cozy space untouched by cataclysmic events (such as the release of *gasp* a sequel) has grown exponentially in a relatively short amount of time following the release of Wayward Son. Newcomers are eager to find a home in this space at the same time as folks who’ve been here a while may be consciously or unconsciously wary about widening their circle, and It’s important to remember that this is not necessarily an expression of bad behavior on either side but just human psychology doing its thing. 

The byproduct, however, is that tension and stress builds over time from the lack of meaningful communication across the divide, which subsequently fuels misunderstandings. Ironically, the interfaces we use to communicate don’t help with this because any existing communication about the tension happens in tiny vacuums until a trigger goes off and bad feelings go public. 

Way Ahead: These moments of destabilization are opportunities to see where we can be more self aware about how we engage with fandom and the kind of community we want to be. Can you promote, support, or befriend someone trying to gain a foothold? If yes, please do! Each person must reach their own decision about what they can do within the confines of their available energy, health, and time, but a little self awareness goes a long way as long as you’re honest with yourself and others if applicable about what you can contribute. Anyone who judges you for it isn’t worth the strife.

2) In a fandom comprised of vulnerable/marginalized people, it’s more accurate to say that cliques are “bubbles of trust.”

This one's important. Just by nature of the source material, the CO/WS fandom includes fans with a wide array of backgrounds and experiences, especially when it comes to those who identify with the characters’ queerness, mental illness, and/or trauma. I really believe––based on individual conversations/group chats––that the difficult lived experiences that so many of our fandom peers have endured has produced one of the most open, aware, and accepting fandoms I’ve had the pleasure of participating in. Our vulnerability is, in a real way, our strength.

That said, a community of survivors also has the side effect of cultivating small circles of engagement that I call “bubbles of trust.” When you’re a survivor of abuse, marginalization, mental illness, fill-in-the-blank, it’s often quite hard to risk casting a wide net and expanding your circle to include new faces––which can subsequently be internalized by equally sensitive and vulnerable newcomers as rejection, judgement, or inadequacy.

Way Ahead: First of all, there may indeed be gatekeeping and exclusion going on. But before internalizing someone’s cagey behavior as gatekeeping or purposely exclusionary, ask yourself if you have all the information. Many people are private (I include myself in this assessment) because life has regrettably taught them to be this way, and so they may insulate themselves to a small group of people who have earned their trust. Some people might also triggered by certain content (case in point: smut triggers my anxiety) so they don’t engage with it. Others might have something in their pasts that define how they handle certain subjects (for example, a person of color should not be tone policed for getting angry when confronted with a racialized microagression, however accidental it was). You just don’t know what you don’t know. 

The solution here is to regularly check your privilege and ask questions in a private space if you sense you’re being treated unfairly by someone. If you go public with your grievances in hopes of mobilizing the mob, you may accidentally find yourself stepping into the role of the aggressor instead of the victim.

3) Social Media is not built to help you get engagement. It’s built to help itself make money off of you.

Repeat after me: Hits/likes are not a measurable indicator of talent or worth. There are ridiculously talented folks on Tumblr and elsewhere who, for whatever reason, haven’t had their viral moment, and it’s not their fault. Loads of factors come into play where things like likes, reblogs, and comments are concerned, among them being posting frequency, subject matter, the time of day, the day of the week, the week of the month, the month of the year, the current administration, the stock exchange, the concentration of middle class users, who just won the Superbowl, a madman trying to steal an election and undermine the democratic process, a PANDEMIC, do you get where I’m going with this?? lol

At the end of the day, my humble successes have been helped along by good luck, good timing, high profile signal boosters, and an absurd amount of work. (This is why I try to signal boost new work whenever I get a chance over at @vkelleyshares.) 

So while you cannot control Tumblr’s interface, trends at large, or your fellow users, here’s what you can do to ensure you give your work the best possible chance of exposure.

Have an image ready to go with your post. Tumblr is a visual platform (no matter what it says about being good for text). Not good with images? Set up a Canva.com account and get access to free graphic software with a gazillion templates to create whatever attractive image you want to attach to your post.

Keep the outward facing text brief and easy on the eyes. Too long and eyes will glaze over. Put excess text behind a “read more.”

You may think you’re being cute when you do this, but don’t put yourself down in your posts. (Don’t put yourself down in general, of course.) Doing so acts as engagement repellant. If you don’t believe in your work, no one else will.

Related: Be your best cheerleader. Confidence is a magnet, and if you don’t have it, go ahead and fake it until you start to convince yourself you are worth the buzz. So promote yourself! You have gifts that only you can impart. Use that knowledge to fuel everything you do from your art/fiction writing to your outreach with other content creators, and by golly, if someone’s done it already, acknowledge that contribution and then tell the world that this is YOUR unique take on it.

Treat your fellow fandom creators as human beings, not art/fiction/content boosting machines. I cannot count how many times I’ve had folks slide into my DMs with offers of friendship only to disappear once they realize I’m not available to draw a picture for their fic. It hurts because it’s manipulative and it makes me want to hole up and not signal boost anyone. Creators who truly support each other will not give off a transactional vibe. I want to help you reach more people, but not if that’s all I’m good for in your eyes. 

The long and short of it: Lead with compassion, do your best with the opportunities at  your disposal, and remember that fandom belongs to everyone in it. ❤️

What saves a fandom made of sensitive and vulnerable souls from imploding when it goes through growing pains is radical compassion from those who can offer it. Begin with the assumption that your fellow fandomers are not trying to harm you, and wade into the water knowing that your insight into the lives of your peers is limited by default and you may need to temper your words or actions accordingly. If you’re a content creator, save compassion for yourself as well, as there are indeed challenges to gaining an audience, and lack of engagement does not mean you lack talent or skill. Be your best advocate, and if you have the bandwidth to lift up a fellow creator and make a new friend, please, go ahead do it! 

And finally, fandom belongs to everyone, and no one has a monopoly on characters, tropes, or themes. Create and consume what you love (with respect for your more vulnerable peers), and bask in the variety, my friends!

That’s all I’ve got in my head at the moment, although I’m sure there’s more I’m forgetting. Thanks so much to @penpanoply for letting me use her art for this and to everyone else, hang in there and try not to judge each other too harshly. These are unprecedented times, and most of us are doing our best in circumstances that are pushing us to our limits. 

As always, if you have questions or want to sound off on anything, shoot me a message or an ask, or ping me on Discord. It might take me a second to respond (thanks, Covid) but I’ll get to it! Love, love, and more love to all.