#as an ace I never liked when characters made dumb choices just because they *liked* some stranger but ig I get the appeal now
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modrzewek · 1 month ago
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fiddlestan comic, cause it was the 80s and like c'mon, look at these queer guys
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How the tables have turned for Stan, in the end he is the one getting used for a roof over head hehe
If it's not clear, Fiddleford erased his memory about Ford, so right now he doesn't remember him.. at least until he sees the shack. What a wholesome start of a messy relationship:)
part 1 (part 2) (part 3)
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krafterwrites · 3 days ago
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Ok, time for the one post I'll make about Sonic 3 itself now that it's out. Since there's already a full recording of it available online, I'm going to write down my "live reactions" (I already know basically everything that's going to happen, but I'm sure there's at least one or two small surprises left) below the cut so I can get this movie out of my system and move on
The first lines of dialogue are a "Cops love donuts" joke. Off to a great start
A gambling ad popped up right as Shadow broke out and started attacking people gljkdfgh
4 minutes in and they've already used the leitmotif of Live And Learn 3 times
Shadow being sopping wet and miserable is pretty cute
Ace already said this but wow they really did ruin the "Talk about low budget flights line", Sonic saying it feels soooo unnatural and shoehorned in
Unless it's for a really good sequence, I don't understand the point of playing a licensed song for literally 10 seconds
Wow the opening fight with all three of them against Shadow is super short
I'm glad that the gun isn't just for show and he actually gets to use it
I seriously cannot get over how stupid Shadow coming from a meteor is, the entire POINT of his character is that he was created. He was born to be the ultimate lifeform, to be a cure for Maria, to bring hope to humanity. Him just randomly showing up instead of specifically being created undermines his entire identity. Also, Gerald creating Shadow is incredibly important to his identity as well. It's almost impressive that they managed to fuck up so much with a single decision
The dialogue has already made me cringe a few times but that was definitely the worst instance so far. I wish they would stop
YIPPEE OFFICER DOWN!!!
Walters having a photo of Team Sonic in his jacket that was taken like 5 minutes beforehand so Rockwell can pick it up to illustrate that she thinks Team Sonic killed him is kind of strange and unnecessary
I thought that the show Eggman was watching was another gambling ad for a second
Eggman said boobs. Sure why not
I forgot that they're allowed to swear a bit
I thought they were going to reference Among Us when Stone said imposter. I wish they did, it would've been an actually acceptable pop culture reference
I'm kind of torn on the flashback montage with Maria. It feels a little too silly and lighthearted, but it is cute to see her and Shadow do a bunch of childish stuff together
However, her not being terminally ill and also not spending her entire life in space is dumb. Those are both very important to who she is, and consequently, who Shadow is (he was initially made to be a cure for her, and her love for the planet that she never got to see is what motivates him). I know both of these are consequences of them making Shadow come from a meteor, but there was literally no reason for them to do that, especially considering it messed up him, Gerald, AND Maria. Why would they make that choice when it doesn't add anything and has such a high cost
The Biolizard puppet is cute, though. They should've actually included it (along with Rouge, Amy, and all the other things they omitted), but I guess it's better than nothing
Oh god Gerald is here. I was thinking "So far this isn't as hard to watch as I thought it would be" but it's probably going to get significantly more painful soon
That was a Family Guy cutaway gag
How is a bunch of loose popcorn still in pristine condition after 50 years of sitting out in the open
That was a bad fourth wall joke. Also get on it, this has been going on for like 2-3 minutes
So if we're meant to believe that Shadow's quill is what kept Gerald alive, can Shadow basically just grant people immortality at will? Or is there really just no explanation for him living longer than any human should be able to
I'm glad that the scene of Eggman and Gerald doing stuff together in VR didn't go on for that long, because it felt like the scene of them meeting felt so dragged out
For a split second I thought the music was using the leitmotif of Dreams Of An Absolution, but then I realized that its Green Hill
The puppet only has like 15 seconds of screentime but it's still SO unnecessary
Shadow saying "revenge guac" is stupid but it did not make me cringe like some of the other lines have so far
Tom using the hologram tech to disguise as Randall... Not my place to speak so I'm not going to say anything, but I don't think that was a good idea
Pointless extended bit of Jim Carrey doing comedy with himself number 3. And I know there's at least one more after this. Why did they have to focus on him so heavily
YESSSSSS thank you Shadow, we all wanted to see that happen. Keep up the good work
I hate that Wade got to appear at all, but at least his screentime is brief
It sucks that we just get Gerald saying "It's not about what Maria wanted, it's about what they deserve" to convince Shadow to get revenge, because that's the opposite of how he motivated Shadow in SA2, he made it seem like revenge is what Maria wanted
When I first saw the commander trying to wrestle away the gum through a leak, I laughed my ass off. It's so stupid. Also I knew they would be cowards and not actually show her getting shot, but it's still annoying
Maria not actually getting to say her last words to Shadow, on top of him not being made by Gerald, really is a one-two punch of completely destroying his SA2 characterization (and his characterization in general). It's insulting to Maria too, how do you manage to take away agency from a character who's entire narrative purpose is to die for the sake of another character's backstory
Also, now that the plot has moved into space, I can say with even more certainty that there truly was no reason for them to use Tokyo and London instead of San Francisco. The only thing gained from using Tokyo is the Chao cafe, and the only thing gained from using London is about a minute or two of basic pop culture references. I'm pretty sure they only picked them because they're two of the most famous cities in the world, which is dumb
I hate that Shadow's arc is about letting go of anger and not seeking revenge, that's completely different from what his story is in SA2, they're barely comparable even on a surface level. His actual arc is about being unsure of who he is and why he exists, being used as a tool for revenge by Gerald, and eventually breaking free of that programming to discover that he was created to bring hope to humanity
The Eggman vs Gerald stuff is the stupidest shit ever, and it's made even worse by the fact that it keeps interrupting the Sonic and Shadow scenes
I hate to say that when I first saw Gerald's death through a leak, I (involuntary) burst out laughing. It's supremely stupid and I do not like it, but it's just so absurd that it's hard not to react in some way
The moon thing kinda makes me mad tbh. This movie loves to make references to iconic things from SA2 instead of actually adapting them
The finale is pretty cool visually, but conceptually, it's a really big downgrade from the original. It's comprised of a super form battle between Sonic and Shadow, a cartoon slapfight between Eggman and Gerald, Sonic and Shadow easily blasting through a bunch of GUN Hunters, them blocking the laser while it gets steered away with an actual steering wheel, and then Shadow physically pushing the ARK away by himself. SA2 featured everyone except Shadow working together to reach the deepest part of the ARK as it hurtled towards the Earth, Shadow rushing in to fight the Biolizard while Sonic and Knuckles neutralize the core's energy, and then Sonic and Shadow being forced to go super after the Biolizard fuses itself to the colony in order to continue Gerald's plan, ending with them both using Chaos Control together to put it back in place
I was going to write a summary after I finished watching, but honestly, Eggman took the words right out of my mouth when he said "It's been a real drag. Thanks for nothing" and then died in an explosion
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happypot0001 · 1 month ago
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Just find it
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…Where?
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!!!!!!PROBABLY WILL DELETE LATER!!!!!!
Guys I’m such a cry baby istg HAHAAA….anyways…..👋
Uhhh I made this post because I was feeling a bit upset today..obviously 😭😭 ig I’m feeling a bit better but I hope there are people that can relate to this too!! Can I just say first though that I had to STRUGGLE to make that stupid gif HAHHH! I’m now going to try to go into depth of each of the important parts of the gif 👍
Feet - I seem to kick everyone around me down. I’m pained that people suffer regarding my sake. Be it for me or because of me. Be it physically or mentally. I can’t help but hurt people who are close to me. I’ll end up with no one because everyone has been harmed by my presence. I only see the backs of the people who have turned away from me, unwilling to speak to me as I’ve already disappointed them far enough.
Hands - I seem to have no talent. I’ve used these hands to draw. To play. To write. To learn. But it has never been enough. It seems like it never will be. No matter what I’m always one step behind. I can only try to work harder, but all my efforts only seem like they’ll eventually end in vain. When is it good enough? It never is…as that’s what I’ve learned. Am I on the right path? No one can tell me. These hands have done me good, but in the end is it of any use? To play. To draw. To waste time. What’s the point if I’m not good at it.
Heart - I seem to succumb to my failure with ease. Help me find it. Is it my heart? Is this why I feel that I’m being tortured inside? Is that why I feel my heart wants to leap out of my chest? Is it my weakness. Is it my lack of willpower. This sick feeling in my stomach, it’s because I’m weak? It’s because I cry too often? It’s because I take their words to heart? It’s because I know they’re probably right. Everything is connected to the heart. That’s why I feel this way. I need to find it. Maybe that’s the answer: I’m weak. There’s no problem. No. No one did anything. I’m just weak.
Mouth - I seem to speak only for me to displease others. I’m boisterous. I’m loud. I’m too much. It’s all too much. Don’t talk to me. I’ll spill. I’ll speak. I’ll practically yell. Listen to me. Or don’t. You’ll go deaf by the time I’ve finally shut my mouth. So I won’t. I won’t speak. Zip. Nothing. Nothing out of me. But. Right. It’s seems they’ve all left. Once an enthusiastic fool, after a ghost to not be seen. To be the loud me or hide it. It seems there’s no choice for me. How do you find that balance. Tell me your secret. But I can’t ask you. I have a terrible ego I have to protect. Why do so many people like you? I’ll never know.
Head - I seem to never have the time to think. The biggest. The one that matters. The one I know will only lead to a path of misfortune and disappointment. Still. It matters. I can’t help it most times. Am I smart? I’ve been told numerous different claims. I can only divide them into two sections. Smart. Stupid. I’ve been called stupid……why? Why. I DONT WANT THAT. IM NOT STUPID RIGHT? Then why can’t I think. Why can’t I learn like I’ve seen others learn. I’m not smart. I’m not creative. There’s no form of intelligence I can seem to fit myself into. I can ace every other test with a 100 in math….but the time I fail…I feel like my life has shattered. I’ve seen myself do it…so how could I mess up. But I do. I’m grateful. I’m grateful I can do something. But what if it wasn’t enough. Some call me smart. But I can only see someone dumb. Past mistakes have affected me in today’s time. Because. I was dumb. I was really dumb. I made mistakes and I was so dumb. I was so so dumb. It still affects me. I was so dumb. I can’t believe I did that. And because of it. I have to suffer. I was so dumb. I was so absolutely dumb. I shouldn’t have messed up in the past. I wish I hadn’t been dumb. Everyone else around me seems so smart. All of these artists. Unique characters. Compelling stories. Amazing people. I’m not like that. I’m not creative. I don’t have a complex enough brain to form new ideas on my own. I always need help. I always need support. I’m dependent. I can’t stand on my own. I need help. Help in every way possible. But I can only fail on my own. And I’m sorry if you’ve had to carry by burden. I’m dumb.
Hahaaaa….I’m sorry I wrote all of this. This was kind of a downer…huh? 😭😭 Heh. I’m sorry if you’ve read it all. It’s not great. And it’s not entertaining. It’s sad. It’s a disappointment of a post. I can’t make it any more appealing. 😆 Because that’s who I am. I’m a simple minded person who overthinks for the wrong reasons. I’m scared of change. Oh my god…I’m so scared of change. But I don’t want everything to be the same. The idea of something being permanent…it…it’s scary. What if I want to change it later? What if it wasn’t worth it in the end. That thought is terrifying. And…I think that’s why I feel I like my hearts about to burst. I’m scared. I’m scared? I don’t know….but…I’m sorry. I’m sorry to anyone who can’t find their pain. I hope this helps you relate to something. And I hope you can find whats hurting you. But don’t worry, you don’t have to find it right now! If you do find it, I hope it helps in the long run. I wish that you do well in your future. ❤️ 😆😆
Lots of love to anyone who may be reading!💕💕
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busting-buffers · 1 year ago
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I was watching The Unlucky Tugs' video where he ranks the TTTE movies from worst to best and decided to make my own so HERE WE GO!
Tier List maker HERE
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14. MIR: I liked this movie as a kid. But I recently rewatched and boy howdy is she BAD. I didn't watch series 11 when Whiff was introduced, so having him in this movie was odd to me because I didn't know who the hell he was! The train racism in this is so overdone and never gets resolved, the logging locos are ANNOYING, and Thomas is just a dick the entire time?? -5/10
13. CAE!: This was one of those that they could have done better. The learning segments make it hard to watch when you're older, but it's for kids so who cares. But again, Train Racism. It gets resolved at the end, sure, but literally just...keeps happening. MIR in point. Also, the random involvement of D10?? And Lady?? who haven't been mentioned since TATMR??? Odd choice. 2/10
12. DotD: They basically rehashed CAE in CGI form, but none of the Train Racism is resolved. The Diesels suck, manipulate Percy, and take over the steamworks. That's it. That's the plot. 2/10
11. BW!BA!: I liked it. The songs were fun, Ace was a cool addition as a bad influence on Thomas, and Nia sure is a girl's engine. It seemed so rushed, though. Like Thomas had this grand idea, Sir Topham jokingly says yes, and like 15 minutes in Thomas is sailing off on a ship to Africa. "Where in the World is Thomas?" is a good ensemble number with cool callbacks to other movies, "Free and Easy" is just catchy as hell, and the other numbers are fun too. It was okay, but not my favorite. 4/10
10. TotB: It's just so, so average, but better than the others ranked lower. I love how James is the antagonist because he's covering up how scared he is in the end, but Percy just seems to baby-like for my taste. His fears are rational, but they really dumbed him down. I do love the introduction of Gator, and his and Percy's friendship is adorable. But it's all downplayed as Thomas didn't comfort Percy, so Percy gets a new BFF and Thomas is upset when Percy wants to leave. I get it, but I don't. 5/10
9. KotR: Ok this was a fun one. We get 1-5-6 buddy-content and it's super cute! I love this pal trio. The Earl and Stephen are such fun characters and I love how they worked them into the series later on. Stephen's characterization is so odd though, but I get it. He's upset he can't be useful like the young engines, and that's all he wants. This movie sets up for some good episodes later. 6/10
8. BMM: This one is so cute! I love the Narrow Gauge engines, and the beginning sequences are action packed and set up the movie well. But it comes back to Train Racism AGAIN. Diesel overhears about Luke and decides he wants him to be sent away, and then Diesel is in the wrong as always. I mean, he is, but we gotta stop making the diesels just bad engines. He did what he thought was right, especially not knowing the context. 6/10
7. HotR: Thomas's first CGI movie was a hit with me. Obviously it set up a rough era but I enjoyed the movie! Hiro's introduction is so fascinating, and Spencer being the antagonist is so so neat to me. This big silver showoff wants to get rid of an antique, but for what. That's why I didn't rank it higher. There's no why as to why Spencer wants to get rid of Hiro. Because he's old? Then why doesn't he hate Eddie?? His actions have no motive. 7/10
6. TaTMR: Don't come for me. I like this movie! It's whimsical and fun and a cool take on the series. It has it's flaws, obviously, like there's no set up for as to why D10 is there in the first place. But then again, this movie was rewritten I think three times? The original script would have been fun if the movie wasn't made for kids. An evil bastard who hates Burnett Stone because he was in love with Tasha, and wants to destroy the last thing Burnett can remember her by? So fascinating. I would have loved to see the original done as a more adult-ish action take on the franchise. 7/10
5. TAB: This movie is so awesome. Retelling the OG RWS and TV series stories in CGI, giving Thomas an introduction arc, and most importantly, Black Livery James (you know I had to mention it). It's such a great call-back to the original 5(?) stories and episodes, and I thought it was done very well. It holds a special place in my heart, but it's not my favorite. 8/10
4. TGR: I loved the musical take on this AGGHHH. All the musical numbers are so fanciful and catchy. I loved the plot, I love how the characters are set up. But like TUT says in his video, some of it is all marketing ploys. Like Thomas jumping the drawbridge, which I will continue to question why. But if you overlook Mattel's marketing, it's a good movie and it stands up well. 8/10
Also the next three movies are in no particular order so:
JBS: THIS. THIS WAS AN INTERESTING PLOT! James is boasting about how he's the favorite and the best, as always, so Thomas decides to put him in his place. But Thomas, unlike James, doesn't know the mainland well because he has lived on Sodor for probably 99% of his life. He was sent/arrived there in 1915, the same year he was built. He only knew Brighton! The experimental engines have great character, and I wish we got more of them in the series. Frankie and Hurricane are so, so interesting: they butter up Thomas to think he's hot shit, then BOOM! Trapped because they need another engine to work there, and can't do it unless they train-nap them. "Hottest Place in Town" is such a good song and aids to their plans, and it sets up their trickery well. The ending is not the best, but seeing Hurricane almost melt was just top notch to the whole thing. 10/10
SLotLT: This and TGD are so interesting because we see another side of Thomas. He thinks he can do no wrong, causes an accident, and ends up being punished. He does it twice, and winds up in a sort of Boy who Cried Wolf-ish situation after saving Ryan from the dynamite. Sir Topham only saw the part where it seemed Thomas was trying to get rid of Ryan, and gets angry with him again (and uses his full name? Papa was upset.) Ryan and Thomas's dynamic was so, so interesting and I wish we had more. Daisy being reintroduced was something I didn't see coming, and was a great way to tie her in to the series again. Same thing with Donald and Douglas, our beautiful Scots. Sailor John being the first human antagonist is so interesting, and this movie also has it's dark points. John was actually going to try to blow Thomas up aith dynamite! He blew up Sir Topham's office! This movie was great. 10/10
TGD: I had the DVD when I was younger and watched it every night before bed. It was so interesting. The songs are top notch: Racing to the Wharf, Jobs-a-Plenty, and Where, oh, Where is Thomas. The bridge scene is incredible and a great way to set it up. Thomas being insecure after Stanley shows up was something that never really happened, and he despised him so much he tried to essentially decomission him? Devious Thomas is my favorite. Thomas actually regretted how he treated Stanley, and they became good friends. SLotLT and TGD had similar plots in that aspect, but they did it so differently that it's not another DotD and CAE! issue. This was my childhood favorite and it still holds up. 10/10
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mikaelsrose · 2 years ago
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Fic Writer Ask Game
🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?
🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?
💖 What made you start writing?
❌ What's a trope you will never write?
🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?
👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!
🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them. [I actually don't know if you should pick or I should pick, let's pick both. Or just pick one, you decide. You pick a character and tell your headcanon and/or I pick Nik Ryder and you tell me a few headcanons.]
🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?
🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?
💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?
🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?
(I've already answered this one, so I'll just paste the answer again) I'm gonna go with Where do broken hearts grow? because it's an emotional rollercoaster (for me) and I was very stressed about posting it. At that time I felt that I went too far for a fanfic and if I remember correctly that chapter was 4 different versions which were toned down a lot, but then I thought "meh, what the hell" and posted it at 2 am 😂
🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic? I had a class called "creative writing" for two semesters which I liked to call "fanfic writing 101" and I always joked with my friends that I'll ace this class (which I did haha) because I used to be a very prolific fanfic writer since I was 12. So a few people know I used to write but do not know the specifics and do not know I still do it (and they won't find out")😁
💖 What made you start writing?
(I've already answered this one, so I'll just paste the answer again) When I joined tumblr choices fandom there were already many fics, but most of them were still set in the original blades universe, and I wanted something different. I'm a sucker for the domestic vibes and angst (together, preferably, lol) so assuming the "write what you want to read" stance I just sat down and wrote my first fic which I am too ashamed to look at now 😁
❌ What's a trope you will never write? mpreg + any fucked up things like in*est, the rest is up for discussion (but pls be reasonable)
🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?
I can't think of anything, really. Maybe I'm a mastermind? 🤔
👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please! + 🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?
I decided to merge these two questions into one. I started writing short fics for Lucifer x MC, but I'm still not sure if I'll ever post them 🤐 Perhaps. But here's a snippet:
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🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them. [I actually don't know if you should pick or I should pick, let's pick both. Or just pick one, you decide. You pick a character and tell your headcanon and/or I pick Nik Ryder and you tell me a few headcanons.]
Okay, call me dumb, but I also don't understand 😂😂😂 Let's just do it like you said, the second option, I'll give you headcanons for Nik in my fics.
I don't have that many for him, honestly, he's still in the making, but here's what I can think of for now:
he curses a lot
after the whole bloodwraith case, he took 3 months off and chilled in Costa Rica 🍹
he started a "secret" project meaning reading about the fae (history, politics, all that jazz) after Cal mentioned to him that Niamh basically disappeared from Earth 🤐
he might or might not have a fling with someone 🤐🤐
he hates portals (and just like Geralt of Rivia he always makes everyone aware of that)
he had a nasty fall out with Cal, so they're not on the best of terms
🤩 Who is your favorite character to write? Niamh and Jude. Niamh because I decided to start my series a year after the events of nightbound + she didn't exactly have much personality in the book, so I feel like a can do basically anything with her - and it's the same with Jude since he's my OC.
💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?
I don't know if I'd say it broke my heart, but it definitely makes me very melancholic and nostalgic and leaves me with a heavy heart, it's the one I've already mentioned > Where do broken hearts grow?
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may-bonne · 2 months ago
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The Resident Evil series is soo fun. Mjovovich has a lot of other dumb movies that I enjoy greatly. I have links to both Machete movies in hd too if you want them. There's untapped femslash in Luz and Sartanna
The thought of being hit on by Mrod's fake tinder profile is so fucking funny. She nailed the rizz of the average tinder man with her performance tbh. Except Frank's first words weren't "Hey babygirl you wanna show me your tits" like the last guy I matched with ❤ (You are right by the way he should)
Accurate lol. He's like this sad thing with eyes too big for his little dog head you find trying to eat a cigarette on the ground when you're heading home from work late. He tries to squirm away when you first break out the towel and won't stand up long enough to dry his back legs and belly
There is just something about Mrod characters. They're always like that. Most of them seem like they need a hug but would turn it down when it's offered. Her characters in Battle in Seattle and 3 am are a couple of the extra rained soaked ones imo. Scratch putting Holga and Katarin in a room they need to be thrust into a D&D campaign together. I read somewhere that Mrod needed to be reminded more than once to not give Holga a Jersey accent. I doubt she went full Frank but I love the thought. I think she should play a few more villains and break out the vague European accent at least once more. Mrod in a D.e.b.s sequel would be sooo good
I forgot about that spoken word thing! Oh to be Mrod in 2014 going onto tumblr dot com to post that and gifs I found in the search library... Captivated by it sounding like one of her tweets and that being paired with the word mooshiness in the caption. Me in the 2010s
Your brain is way more wrinkly than the director's. Your version of the experiment sounds more in character for Doc Jane's unhinged ass than the boring as FUCK one we got. "Performing surgery on a gun" is funnier to me than it should be. Shakespeare was a weird choice. I get they wanted her to be the annoying smart person who spouts quotes but they didn't put any effort in. I'm assuming Johnnie saw Frank take the tape off at least once and it's a wonder that she didn't cringe and ask him why he was doing that to himself. He probably does it so tight that it hurts. Yay for Ace bandages and sports bras!
anon where were you for the last two years while i was having to cope with being obsessed with mrod alone 😭 i would never ever want to meet her but she's just fascinating on a personal level. i wish she'd come back on tumblr but reappearing once in 2022 to post "i've become SLIGHTLY OBSESSED BY THE THE IDEA ONE CAN BLOW METAL LIKE GLASS" and then vanishing forever is also very funny
i found this guy's fansite from like 2005 compiling her quotes and the one i think about is "everything we do is just reinterpreting god. cement is made out of sand. sand is made out of dead carcasses from the ocean. glass, we look through our windows, we’re looking through dead bodies. look at wood; those are dead trees. you live in an inferno, dude. we’re just living among death. we understand that there’s life in that, so we create something new out of all of it. to me everything is god." that's a wild thing to spout off the top of your head to a reporter for like some fucking men's lifestyle mag. honestly that has more thematic parallels to the assignment than anything dr. jane quotes so maybe they should have just let her write the movie
i wish she'd gotten to make that movie she was talking about writing for like 10 years about a secret society of women or whatever. or the other one that sounded suspiciously similar to the plot of jumanji but i'd still watch her take on it
i was so sad when nitter stopped working because i refuse to make an acc but i miss reading her ridic tweets. when vin diesel got exposed for groping that woman i was worried she was gonna leap to his defense but she was busy posting incoherently about the singularity
i think poe and shakespeare are such weird choices. for one thing, it's not like transformation or rebirth are really prevalent themes in poe's works. he just writes about death. at least have her be into kafka. and if you're going to quote shakespeare then i feel like there must be language about the sexes or disguises or transformation SOMEWHERE so i don't get going straight for richard the third. maybe we're trying to avoid comedies and that precludes twelfth night and midsummer night's dream but still. but also dr. jane's whole thing is that she's an artist and a scholar and so superior so why is she quoting writers literally everyone has read? the only explanation i guess would be that she's implying galen is such a philistine he hasn't even read the a.p. lit syllabus but then she scrawls all that stuff on the walls of frank's hotel room so i think her obsession is supposed to be genuine. also literary symbolism actually has to be reflected in the plot. why doesn't she just wear a t-shirt that says poe
give me the machete links please <3 <3 i'll watch resident evil this weekend unless i end up having to work :/ i like milla (i say that knowing literally nothing about her but tumblr recommends me a lot of gifsets). i thought the interview mag feature with her and mrod was cute too
i'll watch 3am and battle in seattle sometime too just for that <3 fast and furious fandom is always pissing me off turning brian into poor abused woobie baby when letty is RIGHT THERE. i kind of wish i were really into rain/alice or something because i love letty and mia too much to quit but it's such a dudeslashy fandom and letty just gets massacred
last thought for this reply is that i'm kinda surprised frank doesn't smoke but i guess maybe the fake beard was a fire hazard
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fantasy-dating-sim-trash · 3 years ago
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Twisted wonderland X Obey Me
So the other day while I was talking to my friend about Twisted Wonderland and obey me the subject had come up what dorm which each of the brothers and Side characters be in and I was like oh my God I need to know so I'm thinking about it and here's where I think each of the characters would go:
For now this post is only gonna be the Brothers tho.
And with some of my own head canons included. I hope theses aren't too OOC! So I hope you enjoy!
Also I feel like Rook would gave A FUCKING FIELD DAY WATCHING ALL OF THEM! man some prime stalking material for Rook, The tweels, & azul. Think about the blackmail potential
The Brothers:
Lucifer: Heartslabyul
I say this because one he's such a stickler for the rules and he likes to have some kind of order in the house. Kind of a buzzkill if you may.
This would be like a match made in heaven for him. Finally some DAMN order.
Maybe he'd get some rest in this dorm. He won't get it but hey that's not the point. (Seriously tho, I doubt he'd get any if Ace & Deuce are still in this dorm and with all the chaos they cause. Plus he'd be so worried about the trouble his brothers would get into in the other dorms. *Cough cough* Mammon *cough*)
He would ABSOLUTELY THRIVE UNDER the queens rules (he would also think some of them are incredibly dumb but he would never voice this out loud ever).
He would also be a huge enforcer of the rules (he'd be like riddle post Overblot) everyone would be terrified to not follow the rules.
Riddle & him would be a force to be trifled with.
He's also one of the top students and takes studying super seriously.
Mammon: Pomfiore
For one he's a model and he takes massive pride in how he looks.
Where ELSE WOULD THE GREAT MAMMON GO?!?
Obviously he know this is the BEST CHOICE
And best of all Lucifer can't tell him what to do (he can and will being in a different form won't stop him . Crowley would ENCOURAGE this behavior from Lucifer much yo Mammon's dismay)
He may not be the best at making potions & stuff but he has his strengths.
Don't let this man anywhere NEAR AZUL & THE TWEELS! HE'D BE ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE TO TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT.
He's not the sharpest tool in the shed and WOULD 1000% fall for the contracts that Azul makes.
So keep him away from them or don't if you want an entertaining show to watch due to the aftermath of dealing with the fallout.
He'd definitely see this dorm as the party dorm.
Mans would PROBABLY get collared by Riddle. I mean have you met him. He would also probably have his ass beat by Vil, cuz he would see something in Vil's room & try to sell it
He would MOST DEFINITELY be caught by Vil himself or Rook and MAN I WOULDN'T WANNA BE HIM when he's caught
Crowley & Lucifer making punishments for him would be oh so horrible
He'd be a mess at the end of it
Him & Ruggie pickpocket buddies
Would try to steal from Leona and ruggie would NOT BE HAVING THAT
Leona's his! I mean he has to protect Leona's valuables that's it
No other reason
Would definitely befriend Ace & Deuce and become part of the dumb ass gang
Head empty and always at the Center of the problems being started
Would have definitely tried to skip his punishment and gotten crushed by Deuce's cauldron spell (Lucifer definitely chuckled at the sight of it)
Levi: Ignihyde
I mean have you MET LEVI? THIS DORM IS THE PERFECT MATCH.
For one he's like a genius with technology
Is a social recluse
Him and Idia would become fast friends or Rivals. There's no in between. (I much prefer the friends route)
Like they have a hard time talking irl but give them gaming headsets and a game where they can play MAN THEY'LL TALK UP A STORM
Finally someone who can understand the other and not just a normie
Ortho would be like oh no, not another one.
He would definitely try dragging both outside to touch some damn grass.
They're creepily similar & have similar mannerisms
Would try & have a contest to see who knows more trivia facts about anime
Would also like Lilia besides the fact he looks like a normie
Once he found out he was a gamer it'd be over
Satan: Diasomnia
This man would absolutely love and fit in with this dorm
He may be the youngest brother but he is one of the most powerful
He is one of the more serious characters and takes studying super seriously
Would 1000% try and befriend Malleus
And he would join the gargoyle club to learn some new facts
You can't convince me that they both wouldn't go on a HUGE INFO DUMP about the types of gargoyles on the school campus
Would also bond over the fact they're both not huge fans of technology
He would also definitely ask a ton of questions about Malleus & (his horns) I mean his lineage
Sebek would get super offended at all the questions like HOW DARE THIS DEMON ASK SO MANY & SUCH BOLD QUESTIONS OF THE GREAT MALLEUS DRACONIA
He definitely wouldn't always get along with Sebek because of his personality
Those two might get into some verbal shouting matches
Would definitely make tea and go on walks with Malleus late at night since its super peaceful
And they would just enjoy each other company undisturbed & without talking
Would definitely recommend books to each other
Lilia would definitely find him super amusing to watch
Lilia would definitely join the Anti Lucifer League (after all he loves to pull pranks)
Would also help sneak in cats into the dorm
Don't get me started on him meeting Grim for the first time!
He would try and pet the KITTY CAT!
And he can talk!
Would definitely try and ask grim why he can talk and who he is
Omg this man would IS IN CAT HEAVEN
Grim on the other hand is NOT SO amused
He DOESN'T WANT TO BE PET
How many times must he say it HE IS NOT A CAT!!!!
Satan would definitely carry around extra cans of tuna just for Grim
And grim would definitely love that
Would definitely try to be friend Idia as a fellow cat person
Idia would be a person of CULTURE
Who doesnt like Cats?!?
They would bind and send each other all the cat memes and any pics of any cats they happen to see
Again HAVE U MET ASMO?
Asmo: Pomfiore
This man was MADE FOR THIS DORM
He's like flawless & perfect
How could he not be in this dorm
Vil would definitely disagree he's MUCH PRETTIER THAN THE DEMON
And both would be like frienemys
Its like two type A personalitys clashing
Would make the best social media gurus and would have the best collabs
Even if they CANT STAND EACH OTHER
He would absolutely be horrified at Rook's hair cut
I mean seriously who told him that looks good on him tho
Would absolutely try to change Rooks hair or paint his nails
Still would try and befriend Villa because how could you not love Asmo
They would have a mutual understanding for each other and could actually be real with one another once or if they get past who's prettier
Would also have a great time With Cater
And take so many selfies with him
They would have the best sleep over parties (if riddle allowed it which he doesn't)
Definitely helps ship couples at the campus together
Are definitely the matchmakers of the school (but always chronicly single)
And they both know all the lastest gossip
Bestie vibes with him and definitely would swap makeup & skin care routines
Would ABSOLUTELY LOVE TREYS BAKING
Definitely would take many pics and make many requests for possible snacks
Beel: Savanaclaw
Another which I think is a perfect fit.
For one he's a really honest guy but he's not always the oblivious himbo people make him out to be.
He & Jack would MOST DEFINITELY BE WORK OUT BUDDIES
They would definitely meal prep together (or try to)
Jack is stunned at how much Beel can consume without losing any of his body mass or muscle
The dorm is all about being strong and a lot of them are super well built
He also has an incredible Sense of smell
Which also a lot of characters have in this dorm
His appetite would put everyone else's to shame (Crowley is crying because of all the expenses adding up due to it)
He would be a great spell drive player naturally
Leona would respect him (he wouldn't admit it) since Beel keeps to himself and doesn't talk too much.
Someone (cough Ruggie cough) would accidentally steal some of Beel's food and the whole dorm never forgot it
The rampage he went on was so memorable that people called it a close second to what Riddle did to Ace and the tart
Honestly nobody expected him to get so upset about that
Since then nobody messes with his food
Belphie: Octanavinelle
Now I wasn't 100% sure where he'd go but considering Belphie I feel like he'd be a shoe on here.
He's smart, cunning, clever, and determined to get what he wants
And will do whatever it takes to get it
Even if the means or manner is not always the best
He would either love or Hate Azul
And the tweels he wouldn't mind because he sees a bit of himself & Beel in them
He definitely would hang out with Jade a bit because he is very similar to him
Man u do not wanna get on either's bad side
They WOULD BE LIKE AN UNSTOPPABLE DUO
Wouldn't like Varges at all
He is also a brat so he would definitely try and prank azul all the time because he doesn't like to be told what to do
He would become fast friends with Silver
They would definitely nap together and share all the best spots to sleep and avoid people
Sliver & him would share tips for getting a better nights rest
Would definitely try and get people to do his bidding with his own form of contracts
Because he's tired and doing things is a lot of work
He wouldn't fall for Azul's contract he's a smarter demon than that
He would also vibe heavily with Leona
Belphie, Silver & Leona = sleepy buddies
Would definitely try and steal Leonas napping spots
Ruggie would definitely get a kick outta it & laugh at Leona's face
Be careful if you come across both since they both can have tempers when their tired & cranky
He just doesn't care and Leona respects him for it but also is HIGHLY PISSED OFF because this damn herbivore stole his spot respect but also fuck you
Belphie would definitely have stolen the spot to piss of Leona because he thinks it's funny
There's more I could think of but this will have to suffice for now. Because I can think of more crazy situations. It will have to wait for another time tho
I might make a separate post for the side characters and what dorm they would be in. Who am I kidding I AM MOST LIKELY GONNA DO THAT!
(Link)
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escapenightmare · 3 years ago
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𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐍𝐇𝐀 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒
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― izuku, denki, katsuki, tamaki x gn!reader
warnings ;; cursing, probably grammar issues
notes ;; guess my fav characters >:)
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IZUKU was fast asleep by the end of the movie, leaning his head on your shoulder with his legs sprawled out on the rest of the couch, one hand still holding the remote as his tiny snores ― really close to your ear, tuned out the end credits that played on the screen. rubbing your eyes with a sigh, you bring one hand up to brush away the hair that fell on izuku's eyes, making him let out a content sigh in his sleep. as much as you wanted to let him sleep peacefully, you knew he had to get to bed, and you had to, too. "izu," you say his name softly, running a hand through his unruly hair, "come on baby, we have to go to bed." but izuku whines, still in his sleepy state, snuggling closer to you and dropping the remote on to the couch cushion, instead wrapping his arm around you, "wanna... stay... here." you blink furiously in an attempt to stay awake, "come on 'zuku. i'll leave you here and go to bed by myself," you lie, hoping it would make him wake up and go to the bedroom. and it works, he opens his eyes, taking his head off your shoulder and drowsily stares at you, huffing, "... fine."
DENKI felt you stir beside him, you were laying with your back facing him, using his arm as a pillow while using a pillow too. he took his gaze off the tv and smiled when you turned to face him, leaning into him. "i thought you were gonna sleep early tonight," he says in a soft voice, watching as you roll over again to face the tv. "i'm not sleepy," you say, "anything interesting to watch?" denki shakes his head, mindlessly changing channel by channel, "none that we haven't seen before." he stops changing it and tosses the remote to the side, "hey y/n, i have something important to tell you," he pauses and you look back at him with curious eyes, humming in a way to urge him to go on. "i'm sleepy." you roll your eyes, "denki you're so overdramatic, just go to sleep baby." "but i don't want to leave you up alone!" he reasons, pouting when you say, "you stay up most nights when i go to sleep without playing video games with you." he lets out a long sigh, handing ― more like dramatically shoving, the remote to you, wrapping his free arm around your waist and pulling you close. "good night then babe," he says. "night, love."
after a date, KATSUKI usually hit the hay as soon as you come home and shower. there were the off days where he'd stay up until 10, just... talking or watching some random ass tv show or movie, normally the ones where you could point out everything wrong and make fun of. tonight was one of those off days ― or nights, where he stayed up late with you. he was wrapped up in a blanket burrito with you by his side, the AC was on full blast and you were watching a movie on his phone. mina had recommended it to him a few days back, she said it was nice to see all of the mistakes and regain her ego because the characters made the dumbest choices, that she would never have done. "ashido was right," he grunts, "this is dumb as fuck." "the characters are so stupid, why would they do the thing that you should not do at all if you were in a situation like that?" you agree with him, further grumbling about the idiotic actions the characters did. it didn't take long after that for you to fall asleep, right at the end too. switching off his phone and setting it down, bakugou pulls the blanket tighter around you both, pulling you closer with his head on yours, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
TAMAKI was staring outside, hands wrapped around a warm cup of coffee. it was about 1am and he couldn't sleep, you were raiding the fridge when he woke up, and he had panicked at the sight of you not being there in his arms before he saw the light coming from the kitchen and found you there. you ended up making coffee together and sitting on the ground by the ceiling-to-floor transparent sliding door. you were seated directly across him, staring at him. "is that my t-shirt?" you ask him after a few minutes of silence. a red color spreads on his face as he looks down at the tee he was wearing, which indeed was yours. "yeah," he says, "i- i can give it back if you want me to." you laugh softly, "it's okay honey, it looks good on you." leaning over, you press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. he smiles shakily, before gazing back out the door. the sky was pretty, the dark colors fading away to reveal the early morning colors. you could still see the moon and the sun wasn't up yet, the trees outside were swaying too, which meant it was probably a bit windy. "tamaki?" he looks back at you, "yes?" "i love you." and just as fast as before, he starts to blush, "i love you too."
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taglist ; @therealcozyy @satansspacebubblegum | reblogs are appreciated!
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asimpleram · 2 years ago
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Hello!! Hi!!! Just gonna uh. Pop in and ask if you’ve got any dgs thoughts. Maybe susato in particular because my brain is incapable of not thinking about how capcom did her a wee bit dirty etc etc but that’s most likely me being snippy 💀
Hopefully this doesn’t seem weird out of the blue and all but I’d love to hear your thoughts!!!
OK I HAVE THOUGHTS ON BOTH HOLD ON. BUT ITS GONNA BE TOO LONG TO TALK ABOUT BOTH SO I JUST GOT RID OF MY GENERAL DGS THOUGHTS
Now you asked for my thoughts on Susato:
Susato is probably one of my favorite characters in the whole game. She’s so unique to most assistants (most games try to have the quirky upbeat assistant which often gets the “Maya clone” label, and even if I think that’s dumb and not the characters fault but the writing team and Capcoms fault for its mysoginistic writing choices, and also ‘Maya clone” is a dumb thing cause they are different), but she’s far more mature (we will get into that one..) but still has her various quirks, her very fun moments and she’s really fucking cool.
She’s great! She has so many cool little hobbies, such as martial arts and how she loves the Sherlock Holmes stories and is a little fan girl, how she genuinely has a big interest in law, and is really smart and just such a pleasant character with all her fun details. How she dresses up as a boy to save a friend and how loyal she is. How she has done stuff like tamper with a crime scene and evidence despite being so well versed in law. Augh. Her interactions with others are so fun; she should throw more ppl it’s funny.
Okay now that I’ve gushed about her. I feel like she is done dirty in the game. In terms of things that she goes through vs how much time she gets to spend on it vs other characters? Like her father left for england when she was born and had to shuffle back into her life 6 years later, her brother died and her literal idol FAKED HIS DEATH?? And she grieved him and he wasn’t dead her blorbo from the books just lost his still alive injured body in Hong Kong. Her father fakes an illness making her spend a month an a half on a boat for him not to be sick. That same brother was gonna take her to England on his assassination mission. What was she gonna do when he killed a man?? Idk!! She goes through it!!
And yet. And yet it’s like. Ah yes Susato our forgiving queen who doesn’t have any harsh angry feeling to anyone. Wow! So kind! Like I feel like she deserves to be angrier and meaner cause she gets a lot of things done to her that the male characters get to have moments about? Fucking absent parents is an ace attorney staple and it’s just kinda like. Well let’s brush it off now and let her kinda hang out while we talk to someone else! And I think there’s just some issues with the writing in general I did see a post that I will never find again. That made a good point how some of the later reveals would have been better if it were not Ryunouske who was the one to be confronting ppl or finding/revealing certain bits of info but do to Main Characterisms. And it might have hit harder if it were Susato or even Asogi due to familial ties in the story. I wish I could find the post they lay it out better
And I’m not gonna pretend this is Just a Susato problem cause alot of female characters tend to get the short end of the stick in ace attorney games. Think of the trilogy! Maya and Edgeworth go through very similar traumas and yet the writing let’s Edgeworth go through it while Maya doesn’t get the same treatment. She’s the assistant she doesn’t have time to grieve her absent now dead mom. She’s making quips and eating burgerramen!! Same happens with Susato.
But overall I Love Susato. I have a few post canon AUs where she finally gets to have her issues be front and center. They aren’t fleshed out they are just a few drawings ideas I have that work and my dumb wrist issues have been preventing. I complain a lot but I do love her DEARLY… best assistant. Best Dgs character. Underrated by everyone
And if you have other thoughts please tell me id love to hear them. These are just my thoughts but if you have some thoughts I didn’t notice. Please go ahead!! Thank you for asking :D
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bobohu4eva · 4 years ago
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Pink Lace - Chapter 8
Characters: Baekhyun x Reader (feat. EXO members)
Genre: College AU, stripper AU, fluff, smut, slow burn
Summary: Baekhyun, a philosophy professor with mysterious wealth, got himself completely fucked over a girl who can’t let him into her life.
Word count: 3k
Warnings: sex work, mentions of sexual assault, adult themes/situations, smut 
Tag list: @smolbeanmika @leave-me-in-the-summertime @totallynerdstuff @bbhmystar @nana-banana @kimyhappy @thegreatandi @geniusloey @deligxt @baekswifey @bbhyun506 @lovebuginlove @bellamendoza @baekyeonoreo @bobohumyonlyboo @wooya1224 @strawbaeri-s @xiuweetbbh
Masterlist
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For Baekhyun, the first half of the week was spent preparing. For the first date of all first dates. A first date that would be heart flutteringly romantic, yet private and comfortable. Exciting, but also intimate. Something where he could talk to you, where he could touch you if he wants, where nobody else could see and judge. But also somewhere where he wouldn’t be able to bend you over and take you if you decided to start teasing him again. That would need to wait until after the date, for which he also had big plans. 
 Endless phone calls were made. Flowers, chocolates, and champagne needed to be bought. His mind was set, this date would be nothing short of perfect. So perfect in fact, that you would have no choice but to fall for him the same way he’d fallen for you. The man was dedicated. 
First though, he needed to ask you in a way that would guarantee a yes Baekhyun, I would love to go on a date with you, and not just an ‘okay’. 
His first stop was the florist, owned by his friend Minseok. It was a quaint little shop where he knew he’d be able to get a perfect custom arrangement with all your favorite flowers. Little did you know Baekhyun had used his professor status to look up Mia’s school email, and had been in contact with her in order to make sure he got the best possible things to fit your preferences.  
“Lilies and roses, those are her favorites. As many of them as you’ll give me.”
Minseok ended up putting together a box, a wide white cylinder overflowing with lilies and roses in all shades of white, red, and pink. It was big, a bit extravagant, and quite expensive. But Baekhyun did not care, if anything he was trying to go as over the top as possible, to really show how much he cared and wanted to make this special. No purchase was too large, no gift too much. 
The chocolates were imported from Switzerland. A large box with endless flavor varieties, each one more delicious than the last. The last time he’d had them had been on vacation in Europe, and it was not so easy for him to get his hands on them outside of the EU. But after a few phone calls, he had them on their way over with 2-day shipping. 
Baekhyun wasn’t one to usually spend much money at all. Not because he didn’t have it, he just didn’t feel the need. He had a nice home and a nice car. There wasn’t anything he regularly bought, aside from food. Most purchases would either be related to movies and games online, or would be for his friends. 
But he loved spending money on you, because for the first time in his life there was a girl who cared about more than just his family’s wealth. You actually cared about him. He’d never wanted to spoil someone like this before out of fear that they might only stick around for the financial benefits, but that didn’t worry him when it came to you. He found it almost laughable that after so many years of dating ‘proper’ women, women his family would’ve liked, women who looked great on paper but brought him no excitement and used him for his money, he finally found someone who actually cared for him at a strip club. The universe sometimes works in mysterious ways, he told himself. 
Once the chocolates had arrived and he had acquired the flowers, it was time to get going. 
~
Wednesday afternoon you and Mia decided to put away your homework for a while and bake something together. Apple pie was the agreed upon project for the day. You were in the process of slicing up the apples when you started to wonder just what was taking Baekhyun so long, after all he’d already told you he was going to ask you out. Why couldn’t he just do it? 
“I wonder why Baekhyun still hasn’t actually asked me on a date yet, he said he was going to on Saturday and it’s Wednesday. Do you think he might’ve changed his mind?” 
Mia had to work to hold back her smile. Not only did she know when he planned on coming to ask, she knew the exact flowers and chocolates he was bringing, as well as the date and time of the date itself, all of which Baekhyun had carefully discussed with her. 
“He definitely hasn’t changed his mind, that’s for sure. He’s probably just taking his time to make sure it’s special.” 
“He’s only asking me on a date. He could literally just text me. It’s not like I’ll say no anyway.” 
At that, Mia couldn’t help but crack up. Maybe that was the norm for college guys, but Baekhyun? Ask you in a text? After everything he’d done? It was laughable. 
“What’s so funny?” 
“Nothing!” Mia said and put two hands up in the air in defense, but you’d known your best friend for long enough to tell when she was lying. 
“You know something. Tell me.” You demanded, taking your apple slicing knife and pointing it towards her. 
“Get that away from me! And my lips are sealed, sorry.” 
No matter how much you annoyed her about it, she wasn’t going to tell you. Not only was she sworn to secrecy, she wanted you to enjoy the surprise. 
“Come on, did he say something to you? Just tell me.” 
“I’m not saying anything. You’ll just have to see, but I promise it’ll be worth the wait.” 
“You are so evil.” 
“You still love me” 
The pie was eventually assembled and put into the oven, at which point you returned back to your own room to continue doing homework. Mia stayed out in the living room, since she knew there was a guest arriving shortly. 
~
It was finally time for Baekhyun to go to your house to ask. After approximately 30 minutes of just making sure his hair looked right, he finally grabbed the chocolates and flowers and got on his way. 
It was a pretty warm day, but even with the AC blasting as high as it would go Baekhyun was still sweating. He knew you would say yes, but his hands felt slippery on the steering wheel of his car anyway. It had been almost 5 years since he had last done this, since he had asked a girl out. It had been even longer since he’d asked someone out that he was actually excited to spend time with, and really hoped would say yes. 
The closer he got to your home, the more nervous he became. He couldn’t even explain to himself why. He knew you were home, he knew you would say yes, he knew you were free the day he was going to take you out, and he knew he had the perfect gifts. This was exactly why he’d interrogated Mia via email for days, but when it actually came down to it he couldn’t help worrying. What if you were mad that it took him so long to ask and wouldn’t wanna go anymore? What if something came up last minute and you wouldn’t be able to? He wasn’t sure if his heart would be able to take a response like that. Especially since setting up the date itself had been a whole other story, one that not even Mia knew about. 
Baekhyun could feel his heart thumping in his chest as he got the chocolates and flowers out of his trunk and started walking up to your front door. When he knocked, Mia was the one to answer. 
“Hi Baekhyun!” She said, looking him up and down, and then to the flowers and chocolates he was holding, a wide grin on her face. “I’ll go get her.” 
You heard your name being yelled from the living room so you peeled your thighs off your desk chair and made your way into the common space to see Baekhyun, holding the most enormous flower arrangement you’d ever seen. 
Mia went to her room, leaving you standing before him, slightly flabbergasted. 
“Sorry I didn’t do this sooner, but can I take you out on Saturday?” He asked, peeking over the mountain of flowers that hid the bottom of his face. 
You immediately grinned and nodded enthusiastically, pulling Baekhyun through the doorway. You grabbed the flower arrangement and set it down on the coffee table before sitting down on the couch with him. 
“I would’ve asked days ago already but I wanted to bring these too and it takes a little while for them to get shipped from Switzerland.” 
The flowers had distracted you so much you hadn’t even noticed the box of chocolates he was holding as well. 
“Baekhyun this is crazy, how much did all of this cost?” 
He only rolled his eyes. “You know none of that matter, I just want to make you happy, okay? And you like them right?” 
“Well of course I love chocolate, and the flowers are beautiful, roses and lilies are my favorites.” 
“I know.” He grinned at you.
“I never told you that?” 
“I might’ve found your friend’s school email...” 
Your eyes widened. “You did not-” 
“Professors have access to every students files and that includes school email addresses, and you mentioned her a few times so I figured I would ask her some stuff.” His hand made its way to the back of his neck and he looked down at the ground nervously. “Sorry if that’s weird, I just wanted to make sure I’d get the right things and that you wouldn’t already be busy or anything.” 
You smiled “It’s alright, this is definitely the most anyone's ever done for me for a first date, or any date for that matter, sorry if I don’t really know how to act right now.” 
“Nobody’s ever bought you flowers or chocolates before? Really? Are those boys you go to school with that dumb?” 
“I don’t really date around much anyway, and maybe once or twice for valentines day or something, but definitely never like this.”
“Well you deserve to be showered in flowers and chocolates all the time.” He smiled and grabbed the box and untied the fancy looking ribbon holding it together, and removed the lid. “Try one, this stuff is crazy, no other chocolate has been the same since I first tried it on vacation in the alps a few years ago.”
Of course he went on fancy European vacations. You wondered if someday you’d get to tag along. 
He picked a piece and held it up to your mouth and you took it between your lips. He was right, it was amazing. 
“Oh my god this is so good. Holy shit.” He was right, this would pretty much ruin all other chocolate for you. 
He watched you as you finished eating it and placed a hand on your chin, bringing your eyes to meet his. “Give me a taste.” 
He pulled you in for a slow open mouthed kiss, savoring the flavor of the chocolate on your tongue and leaving you breathless. You weren’t sure if you’d ever be able to get used to the way he kissed you. He was so good at making you feel like your insides were melting with desire it felt almost dangerous. 
“You’re intoxicating, I could kiss you all day.” He said as he pulled away from the kiss just enough to speak. You could feel his breath on your face and his eyes as they bore into your own. 
“Oh come on you’re just saying that because of the chocolate.” You laughed as you pulled away further, face now a bright shade of pink. 
“The chocolate is amazing, but your lips are even better.”
“God you’re so cheesy.” You rolled your eyes at him, but he still just smiled back. “So where are you taking me Saturday?”
“It’s a surprise, I’ll pick you up here around 3:00 and it’ll be a bit of a drive but I promise it’ll be well worth it.” 
“Can you give me a hint at least? Will there be food? What should I wear?” 
“Yes there will be food, and just wear something comfortable and weather appropriate.”  He considered it for a moment, trying to think of something that wouldn’t be too obvious. “It’s an outdoor thing, and something I’m almost 100% sure you’ve never done before, but that’s all you’re getting out of me. I don’t want to ruin the surprise.”
“You’re so mean.” You pouted. “You make me wait for days and now you won’t even say where you’re taking me.” You really wondered what was so special that he couldn’t just tell you. It was only a first date so it wouldn’t be anything that extravagant anyway right? 
“Once you see you’ll understand why I want to keep it secret, just trust me, okay?” You rolled your eyes again, “Hey, y/n, look at me.” 
He put his hand on your thigh before giving you a serious look. “I know this might not seem like that big of a deal to you, but it’s been over 5 years since I’ve taken someone out like this, and even longer since I’ve been this excited to. I just, I really want to make this special, so can you trust me?”  
You gave him a soft smile and a nod. “Of course, I'm impatient is all... And I haven’t really done this in a while either...” 
“It’s really shocking to me how someone as beautiful as you doesn’t have a constant stream on boys trying to take you out.” You chucked, and thought back to Lucas and how he’d asked you to a party. 
“Me and college boys don’t really mix well, I’m not someone who enjoys big parties and they usually aren’t really interested in getting to know me anyway, or once they do they realize I’m just a boring STEM major. You saw that guy Lucas, I’m sure he was just hoping I’d go party with him and get wasted enough to end up in his bed. No thank you.” 
“He was so pushy too.” Baekhyun said as his face fell into a frown at the unpleasant memory. 
“Boys will ask me out sometimes, sure, but it’s always just to a party or a movie or something, somewhere you can’t really have any kind of meaningful conversation anyway, so I assume they just want to sleep with me. And I’m not really interested in that.” 
“You seemed more than happy to let me rail you in my office last week.” Baekhyun laughed, making your face blush an even deeper shade of red.
“That’s different!” You said in defense, giving a light slap to his shoulder. “You’re not some college boy, and we have technically known each other for a while already.” 
Baekhyun had a wide smile plastered on his face again, “Doesn’t change the fact that I’m the one who had to keep it from happening.” 
“Which I still think was pretty lame of you...” 
He caught your eyes again, before leaning in to whisper in your ear, “Baby I’ll make sure that was worth the wait too.” 
You shivered, and as soon as he had pulled away you couldn’t help but throw your arms around him and pull him into another kiss. He quickly deepened the kiss and pulled you onto his lap. The two of you sat like that for a while, exploring each other’s mouths, enjoying the closeness and intimacy of it. Eventually you ended up laying down next to one another, still kissing lazily in each other’s embrace. You knew better than to escalate it into anything sexual now, so you just enjoyed the softness of his lips on yours and his arms wrapped around your waist. 
After some time Baekhyun had to go, and you thanked him again for the chocolates and flowers. As soon as he closed the door behind him, Mia emerged from her bedroom. 
“See! I told you he’d ask soon! Also, he’s even cuter in person.” She giggled and you laughed in agreement. 
“Did he seriously email you about me? What all did he say?” 
“He asked about your favorite everything pretty much, when you’d be home this week for him to ask you, when you’d have time over the weekend, all that. I assumed you wouldn’t mind missing work for the date so I told him Saturday night.” 
“Was there anything else? Any idea where he’s taking me?”
“No, I asked but he wouldn’t tell me either. It was really cute though, the way he was talking about you. He’s seriously whipped.” 
“You don’t say.” You laughed gesturing towards the huge flower arrangement and box of chocolates still on the coffee table. 
“You have to tell me where he takes you, I’m really curious. Did he tell you anything?” 
“Just that it’s outdoors and I don’t need to dress fancy.”
You could tell Mia was thinking, trying to figure what it might be the same way you had. “A picnic maybe?” 
“That feels almost not fancy enough for him, but I don’t know. I really can’t think of anything outdoorsy that nice.” 
“Well, I guess you’ll just have to find out! Come on, let’s cut into this pie.” 
The evening was spent eating pie, and with Mia showing you Baekhyun’s emails to her. They made you feel like your heart might explode from the sweetness and consideration he had when planning everything. He’d even made sure to get you milk chocolate rather than dark chocolate. There were a plethora of other seemingly unrelated questions as well, including your favorite snack foods, colors, and more. You felt a little bad for how much he’d asked her about. 
As the hours went by, you were looking forward to the date more and more.
 Saturday afternoon couldn’t arrive soon enough. 
Next Chapter
A/N: Sorry this one is late and a bit short, but the next update will be *much* more exciting I promise ;) 
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vaguely-concerned · 4 years ago
Text
X-men Evolution; the great 2021 rewatch liveblog
exactly what it says on the tin, about halfway through the show I had TOO MANY FEELINGS and had to start writing some of them out haha (gets quite gambit & rogue/gambit heavy in the latter half, Because of Who I Am as a Person)
- this is my childhood’s x-men, my formative experience with them, and I’m happy to report that still seems like a good thing. the little eleven year old within me gets to geek out and have a good time with the characters and the surprisingly good animation and writing, adult me gets to CACKLE at regular intervals at the fashion/technology/absolute bonkers hot garbage comic book nonsense they use to justify a storyline every now and then, it’s been a good time 
- I was like ‘ah well it is super dated it probably won’t be quite the same now’ and then rogue’s HAIR did the THING in the opening and ‘it’s all coming back to me now’ started playing in the background... the little baby queer in me swooning across time and space
- such a good beast, both his design and the writing, my heart aches for him all the time. he’s just so passionate! about being a teacher! helping young humans learn the stuff they’ll need in life! the most wonderful nerd man, just let good things happen for him
- I’m going to go ahead and assume that rogue’s ‘crush’ on scott is more of a deeply complex psychological process about desiring normalcy and intimacy and trying to figure out if she’s queer and dealing with her emerging sexuality and latching on to the first and best safely unavailable and nonthreatening older boy to project these issues onto rather than actually being a real thing, because I respect her so much as a person and I cannot bring myself to imagine she’s honestly attracted to a man who has POSTERS OF CARS on his bedroom wall. (I’ll give jean a break just because she seems to have a longer deeper history with him that might counteract some of that libido-kill, and also she’s a jock so lol)
like I am very sorry but can u imagine being a teenage girl with any interest in a boy with model cars in his bedroom when gambit’s swanning around being a much, much, much worse choice on almost every possible level but in a teen girl kryptonite kind of way? inconceivable  
(I drag scott quite a few times in this and it’s not because I don’t love him, it’s just his tragedy to be the most draggable man in the world)
to be fair by the time gambit shows up that whole Situation has mostly played itself out I suppose but still  
- toad’s design is so ineffably brilliant, I can’t quite tell you why but that ugly cute charm has really stuck with me, he’s one of the characters I remembered the best to this day just visually
- poor evan... he truly never had a chance, did he, they just saddled him with the most 90s teen bullshit they could come up with like he’s some kind of ‘what adult writers think teens like’ frankenstein’s monster ;______; it’s not your fault honey
- poor poor POOR storm, she gets one focus episode and they were like ‘we’re going to make an episode so racist -- ‘
I’m still STUNNED at how bad it was, but undeniably I laughed hysterically to the point that my neighbours were probably worried when that dude was earnestly like ‘He [stunningly breathlessly racist caricature of a ‘witch doctor’ guy] has stolen her powers, and he’s going to use them to take over Africa!!!’ fhajsdlfhsakjldfh oh really? tell me more, like how the fUCK this could be on television within my life time fasdlfhsdkjfhsad f  just... fahjksdfh
- it’s a testament to gambit’s appeal as a character that his charm can survive what they’ve done with his hair and beard choices in this one fajskfhs regrettable but true I still fuckn LOVE him and in my highly biased yet Correct opinion he should have been around much more. get you a man who manages to stay hot through sheer Vibes even with a bowl cut
- aw scott/jean is kind of sweet in this show even if it’s taking them forEVER to get there, I like it 
- it’s very nice of rogue to not mention magneto’s romantic daydreams and nostalgic memories about charles xavier after touching his face that one time... or maybe her brain did her a service and repressed it, there’s some stuff you shouldn’t have to know about your father figure   
- the danger room is the very definition of ‘why do we even have that lever’ and I wonder what the fuck prof x does to have enough money to replace everything that gets busted all the time
- I’d say that a lot of the writing holds up surprisingly well! (but some of it is also incredibly inexcusably racist in ways that beggar belief, so... not full marks here) the characters have distinct voices and their arcs are set up and delivered on solidly for the most part, and there’s a lot of love showing through in small moments that are just there to have a funny/interesting thing to say about the characters and how their powers work separately and in combination. listen, sometimes I get so thirsty for like. basic goddamn competency in storytelling, let me have this
- ugggggh why is there captain america in my x-men have I not suffered enough... very very funny when prof x goes ‘sounds like you knew rogers personally’ and logan is like ‘I did ;)’ *all the students ganging up on steve rogers* “did you fuck our teacher, captain america?!”
- fskadfhas WHY are you showing me hot young-ified magneto’s ass fksjahfskj charles is not even here to see it, what a tragic waste erik 
- ...I was sort of kidding before but uh I think logan genuinely did fuck captain america (or at least wishes very much that he did lol)
- wanda can have a little watching the world burn. as a treat for the way every single adult in her life has fucking failed her (’aren’t they treating you well here’ professor x she’s in a straightjacket)  
- poor rogue tho can you imagine finding out after your biggest crush on a girl yet that she’s your fucking MOM in disguise... I would break out in cold sweat every time I thought about a boob forever after
- well seems like they really just had all that homoerotic rivalry stuff between quicksilver and spyke in their first ep only to never do anything with that again ever?? I mean even without the gay undertone that seems like a dynamic you spent most of an episode setting up writers what the hell haha
- dslhfkasjlh GAMBIT THERE HE IS MY BOY IS ON THE SCENE THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I don’t even care about his awful hair situation or the fact that his eyes are wrong here (coloured contact lenses, maybe, for a watsonian explanation? though he’d probably have to get them made special, considering he needs the sclera and the iris covered up in different ways, I’ve seen some comic panels indicating he has been known to?)
(cute little detail: when he shuffles the cards the first time we see him he ends with removing the top card to show the ace of hearts beneath <3 foreshadowing baBEY he’s a... good-ish boy deep down. hey he tries okay shit gets complicated sometimes lol) 
- cracking UP at gambit perched cheerily on the edge of a crate dispensing cards in the middle of the battle... he’s like ‘eh it’s a livin’ sfsajkhf remy stop working for supervillains just because you had nothing to do on a thursday afternoon and they said they’d pay you
- I’m guessing magneto must have imposed a strict order of silence on these guys or something because I cannot imagine any other reason for him to shut up, especially once he notices rogue is a QTE (or, far more likely, they hadn’t settled on any voice actors for the new characters until next season haha. it is kind of odd that they’re all keeping up near monastic silence, though, even sabertooth lol) 
- WHAT an epic first meeting for us rogue/gambit fans here... first his shadow like there’s fireworks going off behind him lighting him up and then he gives her the fuckn king of hearts and she’s so enchanted by his dumb handsome face she doesn’t even notice it’s about to blow up in her hands and it all happens in heavily meaningful silence afjsdfjashjk no wonder this ship ingrained itself in my hindbrain  
yeah look smug while you can remy she’s gonna have you on your knees one day and you’ll be happy about it lol
- god storm is so COOL, everything just fading out of focus when she really gets going... give her more screen time, show!!
- mystique is every person... this person... that person... that bird... that cat... that wolf... I’m not even sure she’s not also me... are you sure she’s not you? 
- holy fuck I respect the hell out of the decision to just... blow up the entire status quo in a season ender, I only vaguely remembered that (actually in general I appreciate how good the continuity is -- buildings and places that get damaged in battles need to be repaired or rebuilt, it makes the consequences feel more real even when no one gets seriously hurt. where they get the money to restore scott’s car and logan’s motorbikes every time they go cablooie is still an open question tho lol is it credit card fraud, professor? is it telepathically acquired blackmail???) 
- I first watched this when I was nine or so, so it’s a real experience to go from my starry eyed intrigued ‘oh my god... they’re teenagers’ to my horrified adult perspective of ‘oh my god... they’re TEENAGERS D:’
that goes double for the brotherhood boys honestly, I’m here with tears in my eyes like ‘I’m sorry the system has failed you so badly you’re all just a bunch of dumb kids whose caretakers clearly fucked up spectacularly’  
like lance is always waiting for mystique to come back because she’s the closest thing he has to a safe parental figure, may we speak about how crushingly depressing that is 
- rogue is so ready to throw hands at literally any moment and for that I love and treasure her immensely (I think getting to see her be so surly and unreasonable and sometimes difficult and jealous, like any teenager, meant a lot to me as a kid who was not really allowed to be any of these things, this version of the character has stayed with me so deeply. she holds on so fiercely to her right to feel what she feels and be what she is even when it’s ‘ugly’ or unreasonable, which I think plays in really interestingly with how her powers involve getting invaded by other people’s thoughts and memories to the point of overwhelming her own sense of self and the fact that she clearly has a lot of self-loathing and self-consciousness and confusion about her identity as well. I love her so much)  
- oooof this is the ‘the gang experience a microaggression’ episode huh (well more like macroagressions really)
hits a bit different with adult eyes and perspective huh
- hearing jean sound almost like a child when she says ‘that’s so unfair!’ somehow has me like ;______; -- she has to be so adult and responsible all the time, and having her be reduced to the kid she still is and should get to be in front of this awful awful man she could squash like a bug with the flick of a thought... ugh I’m Big Sad (it is funny that jean seemingly plays Every Sport tho djfhaskj)
- MY BOY IS BACK!!! this time with the duster coat and his eyes the right colour, im so happy (too bad about the subdued colour scheme tho; I adore his dumb bright pink getup with my whole heart)
it’s kind of adorable that he takes the time to take the bullies aside and go ‘I know these guys can’t wreck you without getting expelled, but I think you’ll find no law set down by god or man would stop me from doing so whenever I wanted to. so piss off and leave them alone’ lol he’s looking out for them, in his own way
- in this episode: remy lebeau wrangles some kids while looking bored yet mildly amused the whole time. what the fuck does magneto have on you for you to agree to this level of babysitting duty buddy
- fun detail I noticed b/c when I get a fave I hyperfixate: he gave rogue the king of hearts before, but he ‘introduces’ himself to the brotherhood here (lol) with the jack of hearts, probably to symbolize he’s here as someone who works for magneto in this setting and not as his own man? it’s a demotion he’s given himself there, anyway, might be he’s not very pleased about his current position huh 
- I like it when rogue and kitty team up, they’re not very effective together but their squabbling is so cute and non-aggressive 
- pietro is what draco malfoy would be if I ever found malfoy interesting to watch for even one moment, every time quicksilver talks I’m like ‘what wonderfully insufferable thing is going to come out of your mouth this time you little shit :’)’
- a) why are scott and logan shirtless for this scene? I am not complaining on the logan side of things at least but why and b) I laughed so hard I almost fell off my couch when scott asked logan if he’d ever been in love and he was like ‘once. she was the most beautiful bike I ever saw’ falsdfhaskjfhsakjlfhasklhjfd THE BEST VERSION OF WOLVERINE EVER, ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES 
- mystique’s sheer dedication to being a petty bitch is kind of inspirational tbh, almost makes me want to go on a completely bonkers and extra crusade of personal revenge myself  
- oooh they’re doing some genuinely cool things with vision/lack of vision in this one (it’s the scott left on his own in the desert without glasses one btw) even visually, dang! I’m so sad this show didn’t get more seasons than it did, honestly, it deserved it
- hell yeah jean wreck her, go get your man with the suspiciously specific clothing damage normally done to female characters 
awww :’) okay yeah they’re super sweet, I love the tiny loving animation details like how he leans his head against her and her stroking his hair away from his eyes
- nooo don’t bully evan leave my t0tally r4dical sk8er boy alone :(
- I love the running joke of people fleeing in blind panic only to reveal that what they’re running from is kitty’s cheerful well meaning little face fskfaskh 
- scott and jean are already peak married after officially being together for one episode and it’s adorable, and they just stone cold threw logan under the bus, rip wolverine we hardly knew ya
fjasdlfasldfhslajdkfhsadkjlfhsdkjalfhsdakfh h jean establishing herself as the alphabitch of this relationship by throwing her man to the wolves right after dsjfhaskjfhaskjhfsakjdhfaskjhfaskdhfskjahfskdajhf get smarter or get volunteered scott 
- ...eyepatch lady is so hot ngl
oh evan went to the place hank used to go to calm down ;________; (honestly he’s kind of won a place in my heart just by being a pretty normal teenage boy haha)
- jesus fucking CHRIST can you imagine being storm having to look her sister in the eye as she tells her ‘I lost your only child, he’s *vague gesture* somewhere in the sewers we think’ this poor woman
- amanda the self admitted monster fucker you are so VALID (I love her and her family’s design so much tho!)
- it’s so cool that even in his human ‘disguise’ kurt’s fingers follow the shape of his actual hand beneath it rather than moving like a five fingered hand, it’s such a lovingly consistent little detail 
- magneto and mystique in a breathless race to see who can be the shittiest parent... tune in next week for yet another parental nadir (also some low-poly gambit appearances in this one, for those at home keeping score (me), he’s in the background looking like someone drew him with their eyes closed fakjldfhasd look how they massacred my boy)
- someone please teach the brotherhood boys about consent huh
- jean ‘soccer mom before her time’ grey and her SUV dfhakjlhds :’)
- im sobbing rogue baby girl i’m so sorryyyyyy, this voice actress is so good, my parental instincts suddenly kicked into overdrive hearing the crack in her voice :( (bb me was right tho rogue centric episodes ARE the best episodes. that tension between ‘do I identify witn this character or am I crushing on her?? both???’ now has the fun new addition of ‘oh god oh no you are a baby I want to shield you with my body from everything trying to hurt you’)
- mystique is like ‘so you see despite you telling me you never wanted to see me again I completely disrespected that and posed as a friend your age, manipulated you by offering you the mirage of direly needed emotional intimacy and belonging and added some sprinkles of homoerotic tension to it just to massively worsen your already existing grievous psychosexual trauma and identity issues... out of love’
god go jump in a black hole you fucking monster 
- there’s some very interesting and quite subtle subtext about the people she’s morphing into and what that says about her mental state/how it shows off some of her emotional baggage with the rest of the team. it’s like she’s switching between people/powers that fit the purpose as if she’s going through cycles of fight/flight (and then bursts of freeze where she’s herself, which is... so sad)
- this whole episode is hurting my heart but rogue at full power is undeniably epic  
 - ‘professor x get your goddamn act together and get this poor girl some fucking tHERAPY’ challenge
- SAFE PAPA LOGAN ;_____;
- EYYYYYY opening straight on My Lad, I cannot stop winning!!!!! 
fasdfhsad disintegrating the window with a smiley face... remy I do love you more than my heart can bear honestly, hello may we speak about the fact that his urge to be a little shit is so deep and strong it survives mind control (that little breathed out ‘hiah!’ as he vaults the fence too dsakfjsd)
hahaha and he does up the coat fhsalfdsaj 
- magneto dismissing other telepaths like ‘puh-lease, your Meaningful Looks have got nothing on my ex-husband’s’ 
- :’) rogue and kurt sibling timeees
- say what you want but this pyro guy’s got job satisfaction in being a creepy arsonist with a weird recurring horse theme (well at least twice but still weird)
- I love how beast is the kindest man to ever walk the earth but also straight up savage, this man drags people so hard their ancestors wince in their graves
- gambit taking the time to complete the guard’s game of solitaire -- this episode is giving me everything I want. u little disgrace mr lebeau
and THEN he takes the spider out in the most hilariously bonkers way my heart is so FULL
(I love that when magneto moves by he looks startled and has to quickly move his head out of the way to avoid getting kicked in the temple too that’s a fun detail)
I’m so INTO how this sequence shows off that his greatest strength isn’t even his powers (which are pretty straightforward, really, he makes go boom, longer time and bigger thing bigger boom) but that he’s clever and creative and always extremely ready to be the most harebrained-bananapants-extra-in-a-deceptively-laidback-sort-of-way person in the room (I actually have some genuinely Deep Thoughts about how his whole character does a really interesting thing with having the straightforwardly destructive nature of his powers yield to what his nature as a person is, and how using the playing cards play (heh) into it, maybe I’ll write it out some day. just the fact that he could use anything, but he deliberately chose something that adds style and playfulness and corny charm to it and that also limits the damage of the explosions compared to if he habitually used something with more mass... I find it fascinating how much he’s made a story around himself with it and how deeply it shows he does have a good heart, at the end of the day, in almost a metatextual way. he doesn’t want to destroy things or people, he’s at worst (and best lol) a thief.)
- I honestly have literally no memory of white nick fury (which seems so weird now isn’t it funny) in this series from when I was a kid, he clearly did not make an impression on me lol
- mr wolverine ‘assigned canadian at birth’ x-men 
- oh man I dig the androgynity of x-23′s outfit (even tho they had to compensate with the long hair, which... kind of doesn’t make sense in-universe but does on a design level because it’s a crucial thing that she’s a female clone of logan so yeah okay fine whatever have your arbitrary gender markers if you must haha)
ooooooh that’s actually really clever, they make her gender gradually more obvious as she unravels through the episode and her outfit changes -- first the mask coming off, and then her jacket opening to show her silhouette more clearly, that’s cool!  
- my god what really sets this show apart is how much it invests in little character and relationship moments, it’s just so fucking GOOD! it gives laura looking in on those moments such depth and weight because it’s new to her but established to us as an audience, this is how you make found family devastating people (storm growing bonsai trees is so charming too haha) 
- ooof this is honestly quite harrowing 
SHE’S SO SMALL COMPARED TO HIM I’M CRYING (at least that part of his genes translated over faslkfsjdh short king, I say this with all the love and support of a fellow short monarch)  
- tabitha seems to just be running around doing precisely whatever the fuck she wants and you know what I support her even if she is an asshole her father left her a bunch of trauma and no fucks left to give 
- still thrilled about professor x explaining the spider key fuckup to magneto after the fact like ‘magnus you dumb bitch this is why we split up’ 
- awww kitty has anime and movie posters on her wall and sleeps with a stuffed toy :’)
-          remy                           rogue
                              🤝
doing completely unnecessary parkour around the brotherhood living room seemingly just for the hell of it... I’m not saying soulmates but fucking soulmates 
- fhsadkjlfhsakjldfhsadjkfhsdajkfh just as gambit’s soul-level need to be a little shit survived his bout of mind control, rogue’s deep and urgent desire to kiss gambit full on the mouth survived hers I can’t breathe
she looks so pleased with herself too GOOD FOR YOU GIRL at least get something out of this other than more trauma 
also not only the fact that he’s smart enough to figure out what’s going on (though he’s only partially right about who’s behind it. I do so enjoy gambit/mystique deep and sincere antipathy as a constant across all universes tho lmao pure wlw/mlm hostility) but also that he keeps fending her off like he’s not trying to hurt her even though she’s in nigh on unstoppable and invulnerable terminator mode... awww 
- gambit having absolutely no patience for wolverine and sabertooth’s bullshit macho-off and consistently being this little biker trio’s one brain cell is adding years to my life with every passing moment
his voice is a little different in these scenes too, a bit softer and less like he’s trying to impress someone, it’s nice
- hank: well I barely recognize any of these (completely made up) ‘ancient egyptian hieroglyphs’ but from what I can make out -- *proceeds to infodump a perfect coherent narrative* fjdhfak  
listen this whole thing is such nonsense on so many levels, I’m just turning my brain off so I won’t have to think about it okay, the compulsion to put ancient aliens in egypt haunts us as a culture 
- I am CACKLING about gambit in the snow after having to listen to these two chucklefucks ooze testosterone at each other for hours
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he started out taking it in good cheer and is now reduced to ‘dieu would both of you just jump off this fUCKING mountain please’
- ah. a little oops-a-daisy there, we seem to have unleashed the apocalypse. please stand by (they really don’t pull their punches with the season cliffhangers in this show haha)
- opening the season on gambit’s merrily grinning face is the easiest way to gain my favour. yes good this season may commence 
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baby u r my
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 ANGELLLLLLLL
(he’s so cute here tho haha I think it shows the design isn’t unsalvagable, just get him better hair and stubble more like logan has and you’ve basically got it) 
love his exasperated eyeroll when the dude gets spooked (by his eyes? or just the general weirdness?) too
he’s just trying to keep this crazy family of evil mutants together and unmurdered by one another until they’ve managed to avert the end of the world, bless him  
- oh NO rogue’s LIP wobbles my hhhhhheart ;____; such a good animation detail to put in
- like... I know kurt is just a sad scared teenager with a lot of shit going on and all the adults are too busy averting the end of the world to help him... but buddy maybe don’t ask your sister to wake her abuser (who forced her to kickstart the end of the world!!!!!) when she feels utterly unsafe even with her statue version around huh
- ...wanda is good and I want only good things for her. and for her dad to be disemboweled for what he did to her both the first time around and when he forced her to forget I mean what 
- magneto throwing an epic satelite-slinging tantrum b/c ‘no I am the biggest sexiest strongest mutant of the pack :(’... erik fucking get over yourself 
- yes boys absolutely go along with a plan suggested by a dude who looks at you like this 
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nothing bad can come of this surely asdfkhsa
- lance’s quarter of a braincell always trying to go ‘hey wait, maybe... not do this???’ and it never helps lol
- in this episode: Logan Has A Bad Day 
...some very specific bondage positions he’s held in here, I am sure this episode awakened something in someone once upon a time lol 
- logan shielding x-23 with his body... im fine it’s okay I’m not crying don’t look at me
- afsdhlsdfjasdlk those sure are some ‘scottish’ accents flsadkjhkdsjahfsd
- scott relieved to finally be able to cede the position of ‘charles xavier’s least favourite son’ to someone else fjsaklfhsajd (poor scott it’s not your fault honey)
supremely cowardly to suggest there is an ex-wife involved rather than charles slutting his way around the british isles back in the day but okay
- kurt with a cold is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. it’s okay kid it’ll get better soon
- ...is there an implication here that professor x is naturally blond. because I am losing my entire little mind about it (i mean he at least has to carry the gene, as does this lady?)
ETA: upon doing some research into this I can indeed confirm that charles xavier does seem to be naturally blond, and after this knowledge I will never be the same 
- “listen, dracula” fskdafghasd oh scott you sweet baby angel I love you
- I know jean’s abilities are a bit ‘as strong or as weak as the plot needs right now’ at this point (so you can have the setup for what’s going to happen with them eventually and she’s basically invincible ;____;), and normally I’m cool with it but god I want her to just squash lucas like a little bug
- ewwwww please don’t ever say ‘daddy’ like that again
- ...what the fuck is even going on this episode’s a mess 
like okay the split personality thing could be something but the way it’s done... what just happened lol
- MY BOY EVAN IS BACK! with a real glowup too (...though kind of weird how he suddenly looks like a grown man)
- augh scott’s eyes are so pretty oh my god ;__________________________;
- that episode in the first season where evan makes the ‘this is my new family!!’ video is so sad now (also, again, his poor poor parents) 
- time for: life affirming road trip with gambit (involuntary) faskljdfhaskjd
stunt therapist remy lebeau 
- I mean the way he goes about it is batshit insane and it’s very much secondary to what he’s actually up to but this is the first time rogue’s sounded genuinely hopeful and confident and like herself in like a season <3 
- he is disconcertingly pleased about her nearly throwing him off the train, and may I just say I agree it’s so nice to see rogue with her old fire back 
- the first time I watched this it was of course dubbed into norwegian, so I had no idea either of these characters were southern lol (though to be fair I probably wouldn’t have had much context for what it meant exactly either, I was like ten at the time and not too interested in america) I seem to dimly remember the norwegian voice actor did a little more of a ‘french’-tinged accent for gambit all over tho haha  
- you know what respect where it’s due, pyro dude knows to live his life for the lols and one has to admire his sociopathic dedication to it
interesting that he, too, seems to have fucking hated magneto -- I wonder if the implication here is that he kept all the acolytes in line with blackmail or by keeping something/one hostage? (except sabertooth maybe he’d just have to say ‘you get to fuck shit up and fight wolverine’ and that’d be enough)
- fsdakfhsd he’s so focused on her he doesn’t notice that guy about to hit him fkafhsa 
- fuck everything else except whatever the hell these two’ve got going on
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- it’s weirdly cathartic to have rogue have a conversation with someone who was not happily adopted as well, I don’t think kurt like. gets it because his parents loved him unconditionally and still do 
birds of a feather motherfucker  
- fun detail: when the x-men team are on the shore and logan is sniffing around scott is stepping in something and trying to wipe it off his boots in the background
- when he wakes up after passing out from the touch he’s smiling even though she’s standing over him looking like the rage of god outlined by the moon fsajfsa well the last time he passed out like that it was from a kiss, maybe he still has some hopes and dreams in that direction lol (also he recovers from the tumble down the hill first and is checking on her before accidentally brushing her cheek with his hand, which I thought was sweet) 
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and it was in that moment he knew he fucked up *passes out*
- ‘I can explain’ can u remy. can u  
- did it ever even occur to you to just. ask her. to help you. I mean I know it didn’t but like rogue’s always one second away from throwing hands with some bully and is stupidly ride or die, if you’d given her the puppydog eyes she would have crumbled immediately (fair enough I guess this entire episode is telling us he’s not from a background where he has much experience with people just helping him without a price haha) 
- his eyes glowing when he’s angry or upset or using a lot of his power is undeniably cool as all hell. I’m just saying it would be Big Sexy if they sort of flickered with light in moments of genuine vulnerability okay  
- his coat... his coat is what makes the Silhouette tm and I could not be happier about it 
- another parent of the year contestant enters the running lol “hey remy have you ever considered that you’re more of a walking bomb factory than a person? that’s certainly how I think of you hahaha c’mon kid let’s go” 
- the running joke of jean luc getting dollar signs in his eyes seeing the other mutant powers and gambit being like ‘nO!!!!’ and pulling him along is amazing haha
- from the way he looks when he touches rogue accidentally and the way he talks to his dad I’m sort of getting the feeling this gambit might actually be a bit younger than he looks?
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here too -- idk why but it’s making the ‘wait is he baby???’ alarms go off in my head haha. very early twenties at most. 
- and we’ve officially seen him with all the face cards in the heart suit folks! (yes this is the sort of thing my brain notices no I don’t know either)
- poor logan running his ass off this whole episode in a panic and then she’s like ‘nah he’s fine (in several meanings of the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) please put him down’ hfaskfsda
- rogue without makeup!!! her eyes look so naked like this haha <3
- oooh here’s a really interesting thing that tickles my brain a bit in this specific part of the scene where gambit frees his dad -- the part where he’s leaning against the door frame waiting for jean luc, who’s about to suggest using the opportunity to ruin the rival gang from the inside rather than slipping away while they still can
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from his expression here he knows what’s about to happen, what jean luc is about to say, and it’s clearly a ‘man who thought he’d lost all hope loses last additional bit of hope he didn’t even know he still had’ sort of situation. he KNOWS what jean luc is like, and it still hurts that he really, honestly can’t give him even this, can’t appreciate that remy’s already done all this shit for him when he extremely didn’t have to, without immediately (no really, it took him less than ten seconds to go there? jesus) demanding more.  
remy tells him “I’m just here for you” and jean luc does not understand it. remy seems to be sincere in this motivation -- rogue certainly thinks so, having experienced it second hand and found enough at least emotional merit in it to decide he was worth saving even after all his bullshit (lol a bit of a running theme maybe. I think it’s very telling that after she absorbed mystique she was like ‘what the FUCK you’re a fucking monster’, and after she absorbed gambit she went ‘you did the wrong thing for the right reasons’ after she got over the first wave of outrage) 
there’s also what he says as he stands there: “You don’t need me for that”, with the distinct implication that jean luc would only keep him around because he has a use for him and for no other reason -- and then jean luc shamelessly doubles down on that by specifying that it’s not even him he’s got a use for as such, just his powers. that’s some kicking puppies level of deliberately missing the point, it’s almost impressive in how cheerfully mean it is haha
this idea of using people is really important in this episode because remy’s doing basically exactly the same thing to rogue to begin with; it doesn’t really matter to his plan that it’s her that’s with him through this, just what her powers are. (I think it’s  p r e t t y  solidly implied that he does actually like her a lot outside of that too and maybe there is some comfort in having her around for this, but mostly he’s behind a smokescreen of lies through the whole thing sooo I doubt he’s even aware of it, honestly)     
but then it does matter that it’s her when she comes back for him, even after what he did. and unlike jean luc he understands what that means, that she did that for him, and that she didn’t have to. and instead of asking her for more, in return he gives her the thing it’s been established is what he considers the most valuable thing he has; his ‘last card’, the thing he’s credited with keeping him alive many a time, basically. it’s gone from using to mutuality, a tentative place of friendship, and at the end of the day he is a different man than his adoptive father, with a capacity for selflessness and love he lacks. which is of course some of the same stuff going on with rogue and mystique too, except rogue acted from a more fragile and unstable place and did something she regrets, or at least has a LOT of doubts about now, and she found some catharsis in helping someone make a different choice in a similar situation. man there’s some Stuff going on under the surface here haha
(by the way it’s a weirdly... meaningless yet intensely meaningful thing, the gifting of a symbol? of an idea? but he’s putting something very crucial of himself into her hands, is the subtext, and he expects her to understand, which she also does seem to do. at the beginning of the episode he’s proving that he’s seen something true about her -- “You’re such an unhappy girl”, knowing where she comes from, the way she’s mourning her lost confidence and autonomy with her abilities -- and here she’s proving she’s seen something true about him. :’) I wish this show had gone on long enough for this dynamic to progress, it’s really interesting and touching)   
- gambit dragging himself up onto dry land seeing someone approaching (to help?!): :D
gambit seeing that it’s logan and the look on his face: D: 
- rogue using her powers so confidently and fearlessly in this episode tho!!!! 
- *me crying* and then her FAMBILY comes to take her home and he says he’s looking out for her too and kurt still loves her even though they’re having a conflict thing between them and she’s finally able to use her powers without so much fear again and --
- ...did I just watch some baby lesbian love at first sight shit right now???  
- okay last two episodes let’s go
- HELL YEAH STORM (I love that she’s like ‘don’t give me a dumb order like that and I won’t have to disobey it’ too sdfjsaj) her voice has such command I’m usually very much not the ‘step on me’ type butttt
- y’know I feel like apocalypse’s main fault across all versions I’ve seen of him is that he’s like an immortal superpowered god king and he’s not even sexy. like at least make him hot if he’s going to be insufferable in every other way 
- also callout post for apocalypse: one time he made gambit into the Horseman of Death... and didn’t even make him sexy!!! you were handed remy lebeau, supreme bi disaster slut of the x men universe, and you couldn’t even make his brainwashed superpowered evil side hot?? a beautiful stubbled twunk with glowing red eyes and extremely charming :> face practically delivers himself into your hands and you do that to him???? I mean I’m sure apocalypse did some other bad stuff too but that was the worst one
(comics are so dumb y’all) 
- having to watch jean cry is emotional terrorism!! ;___; she has such older sister/mom energy, whenever she gets sad and helpless it hurts 
- oh, OH so PROFESSOR X you’ll make into a hunk and ~*strategically*~ rip his clothes to show off a nipple and a flawless pec in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable because he’s like The Dad??? apocalypse you are rotten to the core this is unforgivable 
- so wait wanda never actually gets her real memories back. what the FuCk I hope that was a dropped storyline because they ended the show tragically prematurely rather than like. the plan
- why is spyke calling storm ‘storm’ show that’s his auntie o!! >:(
- as a society we need to acknowledge that apocalypse looks like a fucking clown
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- ooooh yeah I have been thinking that this show’s greatest visual weakness so far has been not having a visual way to show telepathy/battles of the minds, but this is a pretty cool way to do it! better late than never
- I’m so happy rogue gets to end this herself, since she was forced into starting it against her will, it’s just nice and neat storytelling
- YEAH FUCKING TELL HER KURT AND ROGUE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU and she has the temerity to look pissed off oh my god
the only valid thing mystique has done in her entire life is be in love with destiny. literally everything else she gets up to is a travesty. like I know objectively she’s hot but my loathing for her stops me from even appreciating it. I do enjoy loathing her tho so please don’t change her haha
(a bit odd to have kurt’s attitude to her swing so much but I’m just going to assume he and rogue had a good long conversation after ‘cajun spice’ and that he understands what’s going on better now)
- this last part is such a cruel tease faskdfhsdaj ‘here are all the cool-ass things we had planned. sucks you never get to see it huh’ im devastated 
- magneto without his helmet and playing charmingly with children like charles is going ‘well at least I saved my marriage finally’ fsadkhfjsd (honestly tho I would be super interested in seeing how they’d redeem this magneto because he’s been a real bitch the whole time lol) 
there’s an interesting thing here where magneto looks down at wanda as the last thing he does on screen before this epilogue part (yeah I hope it fucking haunts you forever what you did to her erik you absolute piece of hot garbage) and the last thing charles does is look at jean b/c he knows what’s going to happen to her and it breaks his heart... Dramatic Parallells  
- just the hint of jean as the phoenix has me in full D:D:D: mode tho maybe I wouldn’t have survived it
- gambit in the last groupshot with his arm around rogue ;^) I mean I’m sure they’re headed for some turns and roundabouts along the way but what’s that thing she says as her wedding vow, that she’ll always find her way back? anyway that got me in my heart
- man I really wish this show had been given more seasons, we were barely even getting warmed up here :’(
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yoondoze · 5 years ago
Text
coin toss | jjk
you and jeongguk go way back, even before you were the menacing duo many knew you to be, even before he brought you into the mafia and left you there to join the city’s detective agency. a call for cooperation comes out of a common enemy, requiring the two of you to reconcile for one last mission.
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pairing: jeon jeongguk x reader
word count: 25.4k
genre: soft and hard angst, mafia/detective agency au, complicated exes (?)
warnings: language, violence, blood, character death, sexual implications, little bit of gore, jimin has a weird hatred of yoongi idk don’t take it seriously, mentions of torture, grief, too many italics
a/n: long time no see everyone, hope you’re doing well! this story was inspired by my favorite anime, bungou stray dogs (it’s got a soukoku type beat & you’ll recognize some structures). it’s my first back in a while, and it’s also the longest piece i’ve written, so i hope you all enjoy it! <3
To be called to the Boss’s office for a quick word is almost always a sealed exit ticket from this world. One, because regular meetings of necessity are always held in the boardroom and discussed amongst the executives. Two, one on one meetings mean no witnesses. You’ve been there once before and barely made it out alive. To make it out a second time? The chances are practically nonexistent. 
The room feels less like an office and more like an 18th-century study, a dark academia dream with the coffee-toned furniture and ceiling-high shelves stacked with books. The only sign of modernity is the pristine silver laptop sitting perfectly on his desk. The guards to the side of the room look straight ahead, no indication of how this will end for you.
“My dear, good to see you,” The Boss purrs, eyelids falling into tender crescents as you place yourself gently on the cushion of his ornate bergère. Typically there are two of a kind that sit across from his dark oak bureau, but at this moment one has been removed from the space so yours could be positioned parallel to his own chair. 
The Boss has an intimidating air about him. From the gentle yet feline-like movements that look like they mask something sinister, to his signature verbosity that’s almost professorial, he’s the perfect paradigm of a godfather.
“And you, Boss. It’s been a while.” You maintain a cool tone, not breaking his eye contact. He was a dog that could smell fear and would drag it out of you if he thought it could sate his twisted desire for control.
He sighs as his cheshire smile fades. “I don’t like beating around the bush, as I’m sure you know. You... must have heard the rumors of a third party organization stepping foot in this city, yes?”
The whispers started only days ago, and the most you heard was only an assumption from another underling at the bar. Considering how much people loved to gossip and how boring it got around here, you were just going to brush it off. However, if it was enough to bring you here, it had to be something worth your attention.
“Yes, it’s been floating around.” You clear your throat. “Is it something to be worried about?”
He puts his elbows on the table and clasps his hands together, sucking a breath through his teeth. “This has happened before, when a new group tries to disrupt our hold on the functioning of our territory, and we have always squashed them from the picture quietly. But unfortunately, those who call themselves the Syndicate play dirty.”
It seems as if things were not heading in the track you imagined when being escorted on the long walk here. But then he orders the guards at the sides of the room out, and your heart jumps to your throat.
As the large doors close behind them, he resumes talking.
“Last week, twenty-two of our men were killed and one taken during a weapons exchange with a western group...who we thought were a western group. All they left behind was a handful of playing cards.” His wrist flicks up suddenly, a black card tucked between his two fingers. The shine on the back glints under the dim lamplight. He stares in disdain.
The nervous habit of jumbling your fingers started up in your lap, asking, “Who was it?”
“Underlings of the Syndicate,” he brushes past, holding up a single finger before continuing, “The key is that the missing one was a trusted man in our central intelligence unit. He was carrying knowledge of our expansion plans within the next year. When backup came, he was gone. Intelligence then reported that the Syndicate was also responsible for the crisis of our allies in the Midwest, Fox Lodge, two years ago. And a year before, the Federacy in Europe. They crumbled in a matter of weeks.”
The man sweeps his dark hair from his forehead, an undetectable motive flaring in his eyes, the one person you could never read. 
“Simply,” he shrugs, “this fish is too big to fry on our own.”
You couldn’t help but swallow. “And that means…?”
“I’ve spoken to the director of the Detective Agency. A temporary ceasefire has been agreed upon... Similar interests, a common enemy, you see.”
Existed an extensive list of things that did not have the capacity to surprise you anymore in this life. But a ceasefire? That was impossible; The Detective Agency and the Mafia had always been at odds like a fated grudge of the gods above. The fighting had been continuous for all your time spent in the organization.
“I know,” he nods, “It is a miraculous thought. But they have the resources and we have the manpower. While it would be great to let Syndicate take them out for us, we would ultimately be next on their list. Cooperation is our best bet.”
And the thought of what this conversation may be coming to strikes you like lightning on waiting sand. “I thought you didn’t approve of betting, Boss.”
“Hmm… I see you’ve caught on,” he says pensively, a smile rising on his face as fast as it disappears. “This gamble is one I have much faith in. It used to be our ace in the hole, you remember?”
Weakly, you mumble, “I do.”
“You must realize that our situation is grave. I would not suggest it if there was another way. In the kindest manner I can put it, dear, your willing partnership is required.”
And there’s the kicker, the whole reason why. A sick feeling seethes in the pit of your stomach, makes you want to gag or throw up or pass out. You have a choice, of course, but not a real choice. To clarify, it was agree, or be squashed out quietly, as Boss liked to say. On the off chance you would choose death over discomfort, he had to call you to his office for safe measure. 
“I understand, Boss,” is all you could manage. 
“I’m glad,” he smiles. “Though we have all turned a bit sour since Jeon’s departure, I’m sure you are capable of uniting for the sake of our city. I wouldn’t mind if you killed him after the mission is complete, either, but I will leave that up to your judgment.”
The name is awkward coming off his tongue, even with the chuckle he throws in to lighten the mood, implying an air of distance and estrangement. 
Jeon. That bastard. The thought of working with him… incredible. It was silly of you to think that you’d never see him again while fighting for control of the same city, but there you were, awestruck and in embarrassing shock. “Thank you, Boss. I’ll do what is needed.”
“Get some rest. I’ll be calling a meeting tomorrow with the other executives and we will talk about the plan. You are excused.”
With an obedient nod, you are lifting yourself from the chair and heading toward the door, the sound of your heels muted on his burgundy carpet.
“Oh, and dear?”
You pause, turning your head over your shoulder and clearing your throat. “Yes?”
Out of the corner of your eye, you watch as he traces his thumb along the blade of his knife, glinting in the dim glow of the moonlit window. “You know I trust you.”
“Yes, sir.”
Without a falter in his expression, he makes a swift movement with his wrist. Before you can blink, the blade flies past your ear and lodges itself in the door in front of you. “Don’t make me regret it.”
A threat not to be taken lightly.
“Of course.”
As you tread down the hallway on your way out, you can't help but chastise yourself. How dumb could you be? Of course he would try to intimidate you like that. Any other day, you could have sensed it and caught it before it even parted with his palm. That was how it was supposed to be, as the renowned Scorpion, right? Was the thought of Jeon and having to see him again so debilitating that you let your guard flounder like that? Pathetic.
Hopefully he’d only take it as a slip-up. Take it as a respectful allowance and understanding as opposed to weakness. If you were losing your skills, your value was lost, as was your privilege to live.
The ride back to your apartment is the worst you had in years. Even the radio station you listen to regularly for mind-numbing background noise has you wanting to burst. The traffic lights make you want to scream, the sound of the air pushing past the open window has you bubbling with fury, the blinking advertisements circulating building perimeters driving your mind blank. Somewhere in a moment of clarity, you know it all starts with fear. 
Truth was, you and Jeon were partners once. In crime, the trump card the Mafia put down to play dirty, no way to get around you. In tandem, a menacing duo, the bold and the lethal, the Lion and the Scorpion. In the sheets, from time to time, after a few too many drinks or a few too many flirty looks on a sober night. Two sides of the same coin. But that was then, in a different time and a different world, and in a way that you hated how your mind had retained him so perfectly in his bitter absence.
☆☆☆
To be honest, the atmosphere of the first meeting really couldn’t have been any better than expected. It’s the furthest thing from civil, of course, but it can be considered a blessing that everyone participating was still breathing.
For protective purposes, office space had been rented out for a few hours for the intents of the meeting. There were only eight of you gathered in the small space; From the Mafia, the four top executives and from the Agency, the VP and three head advisors. One of them, none other than Jeon himself. The president and the boss stayed out for this meeting in an attempt to lower the tension, which was certainly an effort taken. Personal affairs mixing in would have resulted in at least one dead body within the first thirty seconds.
While there is some sort of discussion occurring around you, you are only focusing on how pathetic you feel in that you’re actively avoiding Jeon, as well as the discomfort in the pit of your stomach that appeared as soon as he did. You always thought that you’d be strong and bold the next time you met, but now that the time has come, you’ve let yourself down. Seeing him face to face after all this time is a reminder of everything you’ve been pushing to the back of your mind for years.
Meanwhile, Jeongguk isn’t sure what the playing field looks like just yet. He’s resting his head on his fist, sneaking a glance at you when he can and wishing you’d speak up so he’d have a good reason to look at you for longer than a blink, but you’re awfully quiet. He hates to think it might be because of him.
“We received an anonymous tip this morning about an underground base in the Coral District. Supposedly, there are multiple entrances from bars in the surrounding area, creating a tunnel system.” Namjoon, the VP, pushes his glasses up and closes the manila folder in his hands he had been referencing. “As our only lead, I think it is in our best interest to take a look.”
Namjoon is by far the most uptight man you had ever met. A little pretentious, of course, but in a way that almost made him cute. His calculative nature made him a good asset, but you couldn’t imagine how much of a bore he must have been in his daily life. You could bet without a doubt that he had been the most opposed to collaboration - if not by the countless moments he had spent sighing in your past encounters, then surely by how his condescending tone went into overdrive the second he sat down.
Yoongi, one of your fellow executives, states plainly, “That means nothing.” He seems more focused in the dirt tucked beneath his fingernails than the meeting at hand.
“It’s anonymous. For all we know they’re trying to trick us,” adds Yeji, personality plagued with suspicion. She doesn’t want to be here as much as you do, but she’s trying. Yeji is scrutinizing and not impressed by the image of naivety that stems from such a simple deduction, and that’s on top of her personal problem with the righteous narrative of the detective agency. You don’t blame her.
“And for all we know, it could be useful. The people of this city are our eyes and ears.” Jimin shoots back, stare unwavering. “It’s not like we should just ignore it. Do you have anything better?”
The strain in the air is almost unbearable, pulling up the hairs on your arms with all the tense energy circulating. It’s as if lightning was about to strike any second. No one says another word, only dirty looks being exchanged between headstrong personalities until a defiant knock comes to the door, startling the aggression into temporary submission. Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you, the only movement he had made this entire time. You only shrug at him.
“Who is it?” Namjoon asks, standing from the table.
“Just clean up. I’m here to take out the trash.” Silence engulfs the space like a dense fog hanging in the air, until the man behind the door calls again, “It’ll only be a second.”
Hesitantly, Namjoon makes the call for him to come in. All eyes flick over to the man, who cautiously enters the room with a nervous laugh. He is clueless to what he’s walking into. He waves a hand of greeting before fetching the bin from the corner of the room, taking it to the main dump on wheels in the hallway. After a few shuffles and plunks, he comes back in to put it in its place.
Namjoon adjusts his tie and clears his throat as he sits down again, resuming the meeting.
“I don’t care what we do as long as we can be done with this,” Taehyung mumbles, resting his head on his palm with half-mast eyes. He’s practically falling asleep, like a cat resting in the sunbeams pouring through a window.
Wendy, another advisor, rolls her eyes at him, responding with a scoff, “Of course you don’t care…”
“Oh, like you’re such a saint.”
The boardroom erupts into yet another argument, different groups spitting words at their own personal targets. All you can do is sit and listen, your hope for this mission decreasing exponentially as the seconds tick by. At least if it didn’t work out, you won’t have to see Jeon again after this.
“Creep,” mutters Yeji under her breath from the chair next to you. She had been removing herself from the argument like you save for a few special dramatic sighs and trivial insults that you didn’t condone, but didn’t exactly scold her for either. After all, she is the closest thing you have to a best friend.
“Huh?” you inquire wisely. “Who?”
She tilts her head to the hallway. Your head whips around to see the janitor through the walls of windows walking away with a peculiar bounce in his step, one he most certainly did not arrive with.
“What’s his problem?” you whisper, leaning in.
“I don’t know, but he was laughing to himself while they were arguing. He’s probably just another weirdo,” she snubs with a sigh. “You know how people are in this city.”
Though you had a slight feeling of discomfort from the commencement of the meeting, since stepping foot in the lobby of the building even, you simply brushed it off as paranoia, or nervousness from who you were about to see. But it just seems too strange to ignore anymore. Wasn’t the building supposed to be completely empty today, aside from those in the conference taking place right now? Your instincts scream at you through a closed mouth, wariness freezing your limbs, but why?
You hold your hand up discreetly as you stare at the simply dark grey bin across the room. It’s the only thing that seemed out of place - besides the meeting table and chairs, the room is completely empty. The pristine board room, black and grey and sparkling clean. And then, the cheap plastic bin.
The argument settles when Yeji whistles, getting their attention. 
“What’s wrong?” Wendy asks obliviously before you shush her with a raise of your pointer. All focus zeroes in on the bin… and that barely noticeable line trailing from it to the door handle.
One tick is all you need to hear.
“We gotta go, now,” you state, standing up hurriedly from your chair. Chatter and confusion ensue again as you drag it behind you over to the floor-length window. You pause, narrowing your eyes at the distance down from the second story. Considering there were no other exits from the room and you suspected that no one here was a part of the bomb squad, it was the only way to go. You drawback, hands gripping tightly around the armrests and hoist it up, swinging it around your side. it effectively shatters the glass, the piercing noise as shards clatter to the floor making you squint. 
“Woah, woah, what are you doing? Do you know how much that’s gonna coast?” Namjoon shouts, becoming frantic as you further knock the glass out from the surrounding area.
“They knew where we were. Look at the bin,” you explain quickly. Their surveillance of you averts to where you had been looking moments before, realization dawning as their sight finds the transparent cord set tight.
“Taehyung, you first.” The boy trails to the make-shift exit without question, blond locks bouncing in front of his face as he hurries over. Carefully, with a hand on the frame, he peers out to see what he’s working with. He’s made do with worse before. He lowers himself out onto the ledge one foot at a time, cautious not to cut himself on the jagged glass poking out. With a deep breath, he commits to the jump and launches off, landing cleanly on the flower beds below.
He cranes his neck up to you with disgust written all over his features.
“It’s new still,” he complains with a frown, toeing the dark mulch which must be fresh and with a rotten stench. You don’t have the time to admonish his behavior as you usher the others out, keeping an eye on the bin and the hallway. Yeji is out next, hitting the ground lightly with Taehyung’s guiding arms.
You fish a compact walkie from your pocket, tossing it down to her. “Find the janitor. Evacuate anyone else you see. Channel Six.” She catches it with ease, only providing a nod before sprinting off around the corner, ponytail whooshing behind her. Namjoon, now on the ground with Jimin, spares a word with him before Jimin takes off after Yeji to catch up. 
“You run a well-oiled machine, Y/N. I’m impressed.” Jeon’s voice from beside you grabs your attention, to which you can only hold his eyes for a moment before breaking it off. He stands smugly with his arms crossed in front of him.
He immediately cringes internally at the way it comes out. It was just supposed to be a compliment, genuinely, but the tinge of complacency in his voice took it all away. The way you don’t respond clamps his heart, but only pushes out more awful dialogue with an inappropriately playful tone.
“What, you’re just gonna ignore me?
Swallowing your nerves, you insist, “Get down.” Now, of all times, he chooses to chat you up? The chipper attitude had your nails imprinting half-moons to the base of your palm.
But he can’t stop himself. Even as he reads your growing impatience, he acts like a whiny toddler, emphasizing, “No, no, ladies first of course.”
“Get down.”
He’s trying not to let your firm edge get to him, playing it off with, “God, so cold. You’re hurting my feelings-” “Get down, Jeongguk!”
The once fluid movement of the world slows as you shout at him, your own voice becoming muted as you listen for it. A blinding light bursts from across the room, ripping through the walls and bursting the glass like balloons, growing brighter and brighter as you watch. In a split second you’re falling, tearing through open air while barely sensing your entanglement in something soft before hitting the ground with a blunt stop.
He had pulled you into him instinctively as the blow forced him off his feet, but the regret is instant in Jeon’s mind as he struggles to move. Not for grabbing you, but for the stupid words he couldn’t close the dam on as they poured out. The threat completely left his mind in the effort to get you to respond to him. He wants to smack himself, but his body hasn’t had the chance to recoup yet. 
You groan, body practically frozen in ache. Rolling off of him, you rub your lids and scratch the hair out of your face, looking up to see smoke pouring out of where you just stood moments before. Jumping to your feet, you brush the small shards of glass from your clothes and ignore the dizziness, aiming to put as much distance between the building and you as you could, but not before pulling a disoriented Jeon to his feet to take him with you. He’s coughing and clutching at his rib, your weight hitting him as an extra beating once he had landed.
Collapsing on the curb out front, you try to catch your breath. That bastard. If it weren’t for his necessity to uphold such a jackass mentality, you wouldn’t have needed the extra painful push out of the building. Without even needing to look, the sound echoing alone let you know that the building was collapsing in on itself. While you can’t feel it now because of the adrenaline, you know you’ll be hurting later.
A muffled noise comes from the walkie in your back pocket. It’s Yeji, who is suspiciously breathing fine as her heavy footfalls transmit as loud as her voice, reporting, “Finally caught up to him. It looks like he’s heading to Coral District, we��re on his tail but we don’t know what we’re going into!”
The device jumbles in your shaky hand as you scramble to get back to her. “We’re on our way, don’t worry. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.” 
You bring yourself to your feet, your fleeting moment of recovery already gone.
“Namjoon, can you stay behind for cleanup? Rest of us will catch up to Yeji. You heard her, right?”
He nods solemnly, and you suppose the blast to the building also was one to his ego. His notorious calculative nature had failed him this time around with that poisonous hatred in the way. Maybe he’ll reference it next time.
You think that Jeon is going to come up with another snarky comment to make, but all he does is pinch his nose bridge and massage his temples. He chooses to stay behind also as you, Wendy, Taehyung, and Yoongi follow in quick pursuit. It’s no surprise that Yoongi, one of the most sloth-like yet efficient strong suits of the Mafia, is already pulling over a civilian vehicle to take. 
“Yeji, current location?” You ask into the radio, trying to keep up an acceptable trot behind the group.
It only takes a second for her voice to crackle back through. “Corner of Park Ave and Third. It’s weird though - he’s not just running away from us, he’s running to somewhere.”
Up ahead, Wendy is pushing Yoongi aside as she shows her ID to the astonished woman floundering for words, admirably commandeering the car rather than stealing. No surprise, but smart nonetheless. One less lawsuit to worry about.
It only takes a second to envision a mental map of the city. The Corner of Park and Third is heading toward an unfamiliar side of town. What was even over there? The subway station, a shopping center? No place plausible for a bar, and definitely not near the Coral district. There was no place you could think of he might be leading them to - unless, of course, he was leading them away from something.
In fact, his direction is almost exactly opposite from…
“Tae!” you shout, just as he’s getting into the car. “Corner of Park Ave and Third. Get on your walkie, I’m taking a detour!”
He tips his head back in understanding as he jogs backwards to the car, soon ducking in slamming the door shut behind him, the car speeding off with a squeal. The thought of being in that car with them makes you shudder, but it’s not like where you’re off to is any better.
The location is printed on the backs of your lids in vermilion red ink. You had to know it regardless of whether you were a frequent visitor or not, because being aware of your surroundings when doing the kind of work required for your job was just as necessary as the job itself. You couldn’t be making arms deals in the alleys behind the Detective Agency unless you were aiming to spend some time behind bars.
Your heart drops as you round the corner to see the building absolutely sacked, your sprinting pace coming to a standstill with disappointment. A small crowd of people have surrounded the area, phones out to snap pictures and take videos. The windows lining the building are smashed in violently, and small plumes of smoke wisp their way out of what remains, the alarms that alerted no one still ringing. 
Light footsteps approach from behind you as your own step carefully over the glass to get a closer look. He’d been in his head for only a few minutes after you left, but when he saw you crossing back over to the other side of town, while he was stuck pathetically on the curb, it sparked his brain back up into working condition.
“Huh. Smart cookie,” states Jeon, seeming to finally be back to reality. Enough to make it here, anyway. In less than a second your blade is against his neck as a firm warning. All he does is smile cheekily, raising his palms up so you could see them.
“No need to be hostile,” he tries, hiding the way he gulps when you look away. “Just a compliment.”
“We are nothing more than work partners. I advise you to drop the act now,” you spit, sure you’d break your jaw with how hard your teeth were pressed against each other, hearing the sandpaper sound grinding in your ears. You lower the blade and tuck it away, exchanging it for your gun in hand as you approach the entrance.
It’s a mess inside. The walls are dented, desks broken, drawers and filing cabinets sprawled all over the floor. Random papers make a muddle of everything visible. The computer screens are cracked and wires mangled as if someone with a bad temper had taken a baseball bat to them. Even the potted plants had been bashed in, fragments of terracotta and clumps of dirt spread out everywhere. 
“Was anyone working?” you ask, fingers tracing over the splintered edges of the welcome desk.
“No,” replies Jeon, in awe of the state of the office. “The President doesn’t come in, and two of our teams are off carrying out other tasks. We sent our office staff home to keep them out of danger.”
Not one thing untouched. Such great care was taken to ruin every piece of the space - but when no one was home. If the office staff were here, would they have hurt them? Or was it a purposeful decision in favor of the empty building?
Jeon’s shoulders slump, bottom lip jutting from his pout. Upon your questioning brow, he says, “They took my octopus pen.” He stares longingly down at what you assume is his desk, or what was his desk.
You squint in confusion, about to prompt further explanation, but Taehyung comes in through the radio. “We caught the janitor. Don’t know anything yet, but he’s being taken into police custody. We looked for the tunnels, but there’s nothing so far. I think it was a misdirect.”
“I think it was too,” you sigh. “The DA was ransacked.”
The waves flatten into grey static. You can picture the confusion that was rising among the group with Tae’s relay of information. When it comes back on, it is a different voice.
“Ransacked, you said? How bad?” It’s Wendy, the panic blatant on her tongue.
“Everything in it was destroyed…” you say, knowing this was just as much a loss for you as it was them. “They knew where we were and bombed us, and then led us on a chase so they could eliminate one of our bases. Let the others know and we’ll regroup later.”
“Copy that,” says Yoongi shortly, and that ends the exchange.
One of your strongest pieces was impressively knocked off the board. There was no way to get the building back in operating shape in the time span you had to eliminate the threat. While you still had their people and outside resources, the building was essential to the functioning of the agency, and the city along with it. If they had already taken down the home base of the detectives, wouldn’t the Mafia be next? Granted, there was no one set base, but things would surely get fishy if you didn’t act fast. Like Boss said, Fox Lodge crumbled in mere weeks. Whatever your opinion was, you couldn’t deny the Mafia was integral in monitoring the underground of the city, and letting control fall into the hands of such self-serving villains would be far worse than anything already occurring. 
Jeon sighs loudly from across the room, spinning on his heels to catch your gaze. He tsks and sweeps a stray strand of hair behind his ear with a delicate hand. “What are you thinking?”
You hum in thought. “It’s a warning,” you conclude, observing the rows of overthrown furniture. “They wanted to show what they’re capable of. Intimidation.”
He purses his lips innocently. “...What next?”
“I don’t know everything, Gguk,” you snap, sending him a fierce glare. “The Agency has to figure out what’s missing, if anything, and then we’ll go from there. Try to figure out a motive or something.”
You’ve been asking for a challenge for years, always unsatisfied with the ease it took to get your way. Laying in bed wide awake all night wanting things to be different, wanting things to have meaning. But with the high stakes, with so much at risk, this was certainly not what you intended.
You have to reassure yourself that you’re capable regardless. Once you get in the rhythm, surely things will be fine. Surely you’d get yourself together and pull through for the sake of the town. When you’ve been biting your nails and staring blankly at a ripped magazine for who knows how long, Jeon interrupts you again.
“Y/N?” The way he speaks your name is gentle and soft, a fondness to it that never failed to pluck at your heartstrings. It’s that special quiet tone of his that you haven’t heard in so long yet could always recall so clearly. It’s a sign of candor coming your way. “It’s good to see you.”
And it boils your blood.
“The park by the marina. Tomorrow at five. Don’t be late.”
☆☆☆
Penny has already started making dinner when you step through the door, just about to slump against the hardwood floor and resign yourself to the eternal slumber. Though she’s only ten, her palate is more tasteful that yours was last year. In times like these, you are grateful for the way she takes care of you sometimes. 
“You look tired,” she observes, sparing you a welcome look over her shoulder as she stirs the contents of her pot.
“That would be because I am,” you breathe a huff of laughter, slowly and carefully sliding off your jacket as to not irritate your sore muscles more than necessary. Taking a peek into the pot, your brain allows you a taste of serotonin that you welcome with open, starved arms. “Fettuccine alfredo? Pen, that’s my favorite.”
A small smirk appears on her face at your amazement. “I know.”
You plant a chaste kiss at the top of her head. “You need a trim soon, kiddo. Can barely see your eyes anymore.”
“That makes me look more mysterious though, doesn’t it?” She allows herself a giggle before turning off the heat, giving the pasta one last mix before transferring it to the two identical bowls on the counter. Her technique is a little awkward as her arms reach up to maneuver the tongs, but that’s to be expected of a kid who hasn’t fine tuned her motor skills just yet. Your mouth is absolutely watering as you fumble through the draws for two forks and some sort of napkin.
She hops up on the stool next to you and digs in, splattering sauce all over her chin nonetheless, but as long as she was fed and having fun.
Taking Penny in was by far the best decision you had made with what your life had come to. It was about two years ago when you stumbled upon her crying in a back alleyway during a job, her parents' lives the casualties suffered in a drug trade gone wrong. Further than that, you didn’t pry. You had those moments, too, the ones that felt better tucked inside a secret place in your heart.
Your only option was to take her with you. While he was incredibly beneficial to the Mafia, Yoongi was also hopelessly cold-blooded. He wanted to kill her to end the trail, to avoid suspicion directed at the organization. You ultimately made the call, because while what you did for a living was in no way guided by a moral compass, you still had your boundaries. Fortunately, it was just when you had gotten your current executive position and started making your fair share for the work you did - and while the both of you knew what went on outside of the apartment, inside was a safer space with more love than you could ever afford to show anywhere else. 
Housing people was one of the organization’s biggest costs. Most who joined did so out of necessity, whether they were out of work or a place to feel welcome. As long as you took care of her, it was an unspoken rule that they’d go easy on her. Occasionally they made her run errands and do deliveries, as children were an easy way to escape qualms from authorities. More often they used her for bait and leverage over those they needed the upper hand on; There’s no better way to manipulate someone than pretending a little girl’s life depends on their next decision. Usually it worked out the way they wanted and she was sent home, but there were times when you noticed bruises or scrapes adorning her thin arms, or hidden beneath her bangs. At least you could provide her with hope.
“So what went wrong today?”
Were you too obvious, or could she just read you inside and out?
You twirl the pasta on your fork before downing a big bite. 
“Got stuck in a pickle for the first time in a while. There’s a lot more on the table than I expected there to be.”
“Obviously,” she says, still shoveling her food down her throat. “I mean what happened?”
You sigh, letting yourself sink into your chair as you recount the order of events that unfolded today. Trying to simplify it as best as you can, you settle on, “I can’t say too much because I don’t want to get you in trouble, but it’s not just the Mafia and the Agency running things around here anymore, so there’s some collaboration going on right now that is getting tough to manage. And these new people moving in on the city… they’re smart. They led us on a goose chase today while they took out the DA.”
“Well, you’re smart too. You can manage it. You always do.”
“I know I’ll have to. It’s more the teamwork thing.” Mindless fingers tap at the countertop. “It was a little bit of a curveball they threw at me.”
“Is the curveball what caused all the bruises?” She looks at you slyly, a teasing simper just begging to make an appearance.
Your eyes roll breezily. “Yeah, it is.”
And all of a sudden the air turns quiet, her demeanor more timid. She looks to you for encouragement before she can even get the words out. With a small prompting nod, she asks, “Is… is it your old partner?”
An awkward chuckle bubbles its way out of your throat in surprise. “Um, yeah. How- how do you know about that?”
It’s a little bit of a shock. You don’t want to make her feel bad, but having this conversation is not one you are completely prepared for. Jeongguk, though his existence in your mind is stormy, is one of those things you always wish you could just keep to yourself, like a small love letter sealed in an envelope and tucked away under a mattress for you to pull out when you want to reminisce, but unfortunately everyone has read that letter and its contents seems to perpetuate underground gossip wherever you walk.
The atmosphere returns to normal when she shoots you a playful look, correcting it to the way it should have been. “I don’t just go to work and come back, you know, people talk to me. Especially some of the other kids my age. They sometimes mention how it’s so cool that I’m living with this legendary assassin, and they tell me supposed stories of… what was it, the Lion and the Scorpion? Yeah, and that he left.”
You bob your head along as she explains, somewhat in awe of her level of awareness of who you were outside of your relationship with her. The observant and lethal disposition you take on at work is a rude juxtaposition to the looser, lively personality you allow out at home. Above all, you wonder if she still thinks you’re cool.
“And what do you say?”
That she laughs at. “Well, it depends on the person who’s talking to me about it. Sometimes I say that you’re really scary and strict and sometimes if I like them I say that you’re really nice… I’m careful about it though, don’t worry. As long as you’re cool, I’m cool.”
Bingo!
“Hey, I trust your judgment,” you state through a mouthful of food, “I condone messing with people sometimes, and if it can harden my reputation around the place, I’ll take it.”
Lighthearted laughter ensues as you eat. The topic fades away and relief starts to take its place, but nothing good can ever last, can it?
“But Y/N…” she trails back, “Why is the Lion a curveball if you worked with him in the past?”
You click your tongue, tapping your fork at the bottom of your dish trying to stitch together the splinters of words floating around your mind into a cohesive answer.
“I’m sure some kids told you about the rumors,” you say, propping your elbow on the table to support your head as you looked at her. “But he and I… weren’t really just work partners.”
“You were dating?” She exclaims loudly, eyes widening. 
“Shh! No, no… well, kind of. But not really. Things were just a little bit more than work-related, that’s all. Listen, it’s not all black and white, and you’ll understand what I mean by when you start to care for people like that.”
“Well did you love him?”
She says it casually and straightforward, as if it didn’t weigh the emotional turmoil of years spent heartbroken and yearning. As if it’s that easy.
Penny’s expression floods full of curiosity. She is so investigative and eager, you wish she could be going to school and learning from real teachers that could give her a real education, not just snippets from your memories that you pulled up for her from time to time. If this wasn’t her life, you can’t imagine what she’d be doing because there’d simply be too many possibilities.
“Yeah, I did.”
And yet, as the words spill, you can’t not remember the pain of his desertion. You can’t not remember the one morning you woke up and he was gone, panic floating through the hallways about him, confusion and worry swirling in your head. Just to find out he had defected without giving you a clue. Not considering what it could mean for you. Not even a goodbye. 
“Do you still love him?”
You purse your lips, meeting her eyes softly. “That’s why I called him a curveball.”
Penny grasps on to the fact that that was the most she’d be getting from you today. It was a lot more than most days - you blame it on your tattered spirit from today’s tiring occurrences. She leads in the kitchen clean up, scooping the leftovers into tupperware for tomorrow’s meal and tossing her dishes in the outdated washer.
You pass behind her in the tight space, carrying your own empty dish with you. “You don’t repeat a word, got it?” you whisper.
She visibly sinks in vexation, head coming to a tilt as she stares at you. “C’mon, you just said you trusted my judgment! I’m almost insulted you feel the need to say that.”
You let yourself indulge in another laugh. The credit of her sharp vocabulary character no doubt belongs to your influence. “You know I have to.” Nuzzling the top of her hair, you add, “Don’t stay up too late. I love you.”
And for leading a life that was so cruel and devoid of light, crowded with guilt and regret, lacking most that makes you human, nothing ever felt more like home than when she says, “I love you too.”
☆☆☆
The next meeting is only better because of the fresh air separating both sides and the imminent fact that last time’s events have everyone so weary they can no longer think about arguing. It has started to sink in that this is no longer a piece of cake, or maybe that it never was to begin with. As well, a park full of citizens going on walks and taking their day slow is no place to expose yourself. It’s warm for spring, one of the nicest days you’ve had in a while, and you’d hate to ruin it.
There is a large circular expanse of white concrete with different pathways branching off into the park, green shrubbery lining each walkway. Pillars on both sides of each one hold up an awning providing much-appreciated shade. You no longer have to squint and can see everyone clearly.
Namjoon, sulking on a decorative cement bench, kicks off the meeting with a depressing statement on the Agency. “They didn’t take anything physical, but we traced their footsteps back through our computers. It looks like they downloaded a lot of our reports from the past few years and files on both our members and yours.”
“What do you mean?” Yeji’s eyebrows furrow deeply in confusion. “What kind of information was in the reports?”
“A lot of profiles. Skills, incidents you’ve been involved with, current standing position… things like that. On nearly every important person in the Agency and in the Mafia.”
“Why though?” asks Jimin, leaning back against one of the pillars beside Namjoon. “Can’t they find that information anywhere? A lot of it isn’t a secret. Ask anyone around here and they’ll tell you Min Yoongi is a lazy bastard that-” Jeon gives him a light punch on the shoulder, his disappointed grimace almost saying, “c’mon, man.” Yoongi looks like he couldn’t care less.
Taehyung, who has been pacing the narrow concrete walkways, speaks up. “Get to know your enemy better, I guess? Can’t hurt.”
“To be honest, I don’t think they really needed it either. It looked more like it was meant to be taken as a threat. They probably just did that because they could and they had the time,” You say, recalling the attentive wreckage of the Agency.
“Well, I don’t know about that. We know that they’re tricky, obviously, but they can’t know everything. I think they were also trying to get a better idea of what they were up against. Plus, it’s always intimidating when you come into contact with someone and it seems they know every detail about you when you don’t even know your name.”
Namjoon’s take makes sense. His frustrating attitude is an easier pill to swallow if he’s able to make conclusions like that. Not much could scare you off, but if a random person approached you in a fight and began talking about your past, or your personal life, or mistake you’d made, you’d definitely be unsettled, maybe just enough to slip up. With this group, you’re sure that a slip up is all it takes.
Wendy looks like she has something to add, but there’s a frog stuck in her voice box. She gives a shy look to Namjoon and then continues, something perhaps he was planning on leaving out. “To be specific, there were multiple traces of the words “Lion” and “Scorpion” in the information they stole... It makes me think they’ve heard of your, um, past reputation and wanted to see what they could dig up.”
“Oh, great.” You’re unable to help yourself from rolling your eyes. 
“Wow,” Jeon muses, “Didn’t know we were so famous.” His playful regard meets your own, but you’re too down to react with anything else but a blank stare before flicking your eyes away as soon as they meet.
He looks good today. You hate how much your brain keeps begging you to take another experimental glance as if one wasn’t enough. His button-up drapes gently over his shoulders and is tucked loosely into his trousers, sleeves folded all the way up to his elbows. Not that you’re paying such close attention.
Namjoon clears his throat. “I wasn’t going to say anything because I didn’t want to alarm you without any pretense, but…”
You raise an eyebrow at him, crossing your arms over your front. “Well, I’m glad she spoke up. What if they target us because they think we’re a threat? They already know we’ve been working together.”
Wendy offers a small smile of appreciation, but it is not to ignore how the agents all share looks of hesitation toward each other, visibly uncomfortable with Namjoon’s secrecy.
“Yeah… that seemed kind of important,” Yoongi says, squinting into the sunlight as he tilts his head up. “You can’t keep things from us if we’re working together. I hate this just as much as you do, but we aren’t gonna win if we aren’t honest.”
Jimin sighs. “He’s right. If one side tries to get an upper hand it’ll just cause a rift that makes us easier to pull apart.”
“Okay. That’s fair. I... apologize.” Namjoon is stiff, refusing to look anyone in the eye. He wants to avoid further questioning, but for the time being, you won’t press it. There’s enough on your plate right now.
“Anyway… what’s our next move?”
Yeji’s question goes unanswered. It sits under the afternoon light, the peaceful chirps of birds and casual chatter and boat horns filling in the blank space that no one knows what to do with.
“We don’t have a lot to go off of. The investigation is still looking for identification factors, but it could take time, which, as I’m sure you know, we don’t have a lot of. The most we can do is conduct some interviews with witnesses and passersby, but…” the Vice President looks up at you, “we are counting on them slipping up somehow.”
The dejection in the air is hard to ignore. Everyone feels it. Regardless of how impossible it might be for the two sides to see eye to eye, they can see how hopeless the fight has gotten in a span of mere days.
With the DA out of the picture, all of their employees are either working from home or in last-minute rented offices with limited resources. Never in a million years did any of the executives think they’d see the building that represented their struggle go up in flames. Yet the day it did, they couldn’t be happy about it. It only struck fear.
“So there’s really nothing we can do?”
No one needs to answer for you to know.
“Okay. Let’s wrap this up then. Just be careful from here on out. You know, be cautious of what you say, where you say it. They might be monitoring radio waves, might have bugged places you think are safe.”
 In times like these, you have good reason to be a little paranoid. They already knew where your office space was and the time it had been rented. The Syndicate was skilled and definitely had their reach online, and you didn’t doubt it extended to the personal world. There’s nothing money can’t bribe.
It’s disheartening to see how downcast the group is on a day so bright. Everyone begins to mobilize, though slowly, but they get a move on, going back to wherever they need to be or where they want to be. For now, you decide you want to be here.
Waving goodbye to Yeji and the others, you find a nice spot under some shade on a well maintained wooden bench. It faces the water, today clear and calm, and out in the distance is the gleaming modern drawbridge that closes off the port. To the right, the port terminal stretches out long into the river for the large ships that come in, the marina docked with boats of all shapes and sizes tucked in closer to the city behind it. The boats flood in and out, passing you by, the sails floating in the breeze so temptingly you can just see yourself hopping on one so easily and going along to wherever it may take you.
The dream is short-lived, because Jeon’s presence beside you tugs you from your imagination.
“What do you want?” You can feel him looking at you, but you can’t pull your eyes away from the ships drifting by.
It’s a hit to the confidence he strode over here with, but he continues. “What, we can’t make small talk? We’re partners for this, Y/N.”
Any opportunity he sees to make contact with you, he’ll take. He knows why you’re the opposite, but he’s dying to see you, and not just from across a meeting table or a park.
“Partners don’t need to make small talk, they just have to do the job they’ve been assigned and be done with it.”
He exhales tiredly, disappointed in your lack of engagement, like he expected at least a small something more. “Listen, I just wanted to talk to you. I know how things are, and-”
“No, Gguk, you don’t know how things are,” you snap, finally facing him. “You had the past three years to talk to me, but you didn’t. You don’t get to come and take care of things now while it’s convenient for you.”
“It’s not like that.”
“It sure looks like that.”
“Well it’s not.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s me wanting to talk to you. Because it’s been a long time and I miss you.”
You make a sound caught somewhere between a scoff and a laugh, feeling even more let down than you thought you could be. “Yeah, okay.”
It sounds like bull to you. Does he really think you’re that gullible? Does he really think you were going to see him again and run into his arms like a bride who's been tying yellow ribbons around an old oak tree? The anger you felt at the agency yesterday returns, for what happened in the past, for what’s happening now, for all of it. How he can say he missed you when he had all the time in the world, when he was clearly happy after running away from what he had with you, you can’t understand.
Meanwhile, Jeon feels his heart palpitating as he waits for a reply. The explanations want to roll right off his tongue, but he knows this is not the time and place to bring up the subject matter he’s really urging to talk to you about. That conversation will be held soon as he finds it possible. He thought it might be worth it to just start the build-up with trivial chatter, but it’s not working, and probably never will with you.
He picks at his nails, scraping the minimal dirt out. Should he say it? A part of him wants to go for it, and another wants to wait in fear of scaring you. Unfortunately, he thinks it will either way.
“I heard you’ve been taking care of a girl.”
Unbeknownst to you, he’s right.
It steals the breath from your lungs, that residing anger booking it to make room for fear. Though you try to conceal it, you’re sure he’s seen through it, already felt how the atmosphere has shifted. He shouldn’t know about Penny. In fact, no one outside the Mafia should. You can’t meet his eyes, taking more interest in trying to count every strand of fine hair on the space between your knuckles.
It feels just like what Namjoon had talked about, and though you’re sure deep down he wouldn’t try to hurt you like that, it plants a seed of dread in you. In any other world, it might be similar to someone asking, “How are the kids?” and there would be nothing out of the ordinary about it, just a friendly gesture. This instance, however, is layered with a cocktail of warning and concern.
 Penny can fend for herself, she’s responsible, of course, but no one is invincible. It’s only up to a certain point, especially knowing that she’s only a child. 
“How do you know about her?” 
“I still get around,” he says, letting the pause marinate before adding faintly, “Don’t worry. No one that’s gonna try anything knows. I made sure of it.”
The way he still knows what you’re thinking makes you shiver. Or want to throw up. You pass over the slight relief of his last statement in favor of the bliss that comes with ignoring it.
When you don’t reply because you simply don’t know what to make of it, he continues. “It’s honorable. But that’s dangerous for you. To have someone important to you.”
“I know that,” you admit.
It wasn’t like you were stupid. Sure, you were an executive, but what did that mean when Penny made you so vulnerable? The same way they used her against their enemies could be used against you in a heartbeat for tenfold the amount they wanted. She was your weak spot.
“You have to be careful.”
“I know that.”
Jeon winces at your icy inflection. He’s like a child being scolded by his mother. His eyes squeeze shut, thoughts circling back to all the words that were just aching to pour out of him.
“Listen, Y/N, maybe we can go get some coffee? Or-”
You have to cut him off before he gets too out of hand, palms hitting your thighs. “I think that’s enough for today, Gguk.”
He wants to object to your leaving, but he doesn’t want to push you. Your deep sigh is proof of the distress he caused in the past and still continues to leave behind.
So much for some nice quiet time on your own, huh? You stand up and turn from him, heading down the exit path. Realistically, you’re glad he doesn’t call out after you, because you know it would just get you worked up and that was the last thing you needed. When you were around him, you felt the piercing image your reputation had created crumbling to ruins. It pains you to think of the consequences of an emotional err during times like these.
Yet still, it breaks your heart to leave.
☆☆☆
“He’s been really getting to you, huh?”
Yeji’s voice is quiet above the cacophony of clinking silverware and incoherent conversation, but intelligible enough for the both of you to hear in your own space. 
You smear some whipped cream on your forkful of waffle, placing it in your mouth and letting both the fluffy texture and immaculate taste sweep you off your feet for a moment, as brunch is everything good and great in the world. Or at least in your world, at this very moment.
You swallow before answering, your usual temper tamed by the sedative of a certain portmanteau of breakfast and lunch. “Of course he has. He won’t leave me the fuck alone.”
“Well, he does have to work with you.”
As you chew, you shake your head in wide, dramatic arcs. “No, I mean he keeps acting like we’re old friends. After the meeting he asked me If I wanted to get coffee with him!” you exclaimed, “Like no, I’m not getting fucking coffee with you, who do you think you are?”
Yeji flashes her pearly whites at your short fuse, the one she’s versed in remedying. Deft hands lift up her mug for a thoughtful sip.
“Maybe his intentions aren’t that bad. He’s always been happy-go-lucky like that and he’s probably just too oblivious to think about the consequences of what he did. Yeah, pretending like it didn’t happen hurts, but because of what’s going on right now... it might be a blessing in disguise.”
Despite her intimidating appearance, Yeji was an exceptional conversationalist and particularly thoughtful in her advice. It feels more like a talk between two childhood friends catching up over some food, gossiping about people from high school and boy drama. Though it’s not quite that simple, it lets you take a back seat for a little while. Yeji is one of the only people you’d consider a friend.
“What, like making it easier for the mission?”
“Yeah, 'cause if you can push that issue out of the picture temporarily, you can get the job done and either deal with it after or forget about it entirely. And hey, you’re the Scorpion!” Yeji leans across the table in an enthusiastic whisper. “Scorpions are badass and vicious and don’t spend their time getting worked up over men. In fact, Scorpions reel men in and then kill them, especially you.”
You know she’s trying to encourage you, but the thought is spectacularly unappealing. While she was right in what you did, it’s not like you enjoyed it or were proud of it. You hate to be described that way. Perhaps that is your character among the mafia and the image you spread to protect yourself, and perhaps it’s even true when you get in the work mindset, but is that really you? Talk about an identity crisis.
You reach for your water, the condensation slippery on the glass. “That’s just my reputation.”
She sighs, slumping back into her side of the booth. “Okay, scratch that then. What I mean is that, besides the people you’re close to like Penny and I, you’re this astute, intelligent, skilled executive. You’ve accomplished a lot to get where you are. Why are you letting him get under your skin and uproot that?”
Yeji wouldn’t let someone make her feel like that, and she wishes you wouldn’t either. As much as she secretly admires you - for both that reputation and the real you - she cares about you all the same. Maybe one of the only people that does.
“I guess you have a point.”
“You know I have a point.”
“It’s not that easy though, Yeji,” you say weakly, staring down into your glass. “Every time I see him, I don’t know whether I want to kiss him or beat his ass.”
She laughs at your comment, making you crack a smile too. “It happens, Y/N. Love and hurt go hand in hand.” When you look up at her, she reaches a slender hand over the table and interlocks her fingers with your own with a squeeze. “Just tolerate it for now.”
A troubled exhale leaves you at the prospect, but you squeeze back nonetheless. 
“I can do that.” 
☆☆☆
It's two days later when you get a call from none other than the Lion himself. The time has been passing unbearably, slower than a soul train passing an ambulance. You and Penny relaxed by bingeing an ungodly amount of shows and movies, even delving into your weekly budget for a stockpile of snacks and drinks. But with every laugh that tumbled out of you and blended into the live audiences’, the nervous thoughts of the situation lingered in the back of your mind.
But hopefully, this call will have some good news.
“What’s up?”
“Good news.”
Eureka! For once, you’re happy to be speaking to Jeon.
“Like Namjoon said, they slipped up. Someone wasn’t wearing gloves and left a fingerprint in the DA. Intelligence was able to track it down to a random guy living in the Gambling District. I’ll tell you more about him, but I’m coming to pick you up now.”
You to your feet from your seat on the couch, wedging the phone between your shoulder and ear so you could throw your stuff together. Penny pauses the show for you, sending a raised brow. In silent conversation, you shrug.
God, it’s too early. You’re rummaging around the room for your wallet and trying to process cohesive thoughts simultaneously, and it’s not working out.
You stop to let your hands rub at your eyes. “Okay, but how do we know this was an actual slip up? We don’t have footage to check… it might have been on purpose to lead us somewhere.”
The one thing you had learned in all your time was to play like your opponent. Never underestimate them - especially the Syndicate, who clearly wanted that message to reach you. But if you were trying to get the upper hand on the people you were trying to eliminate, it wouldn’t be far fetched to give them a false lead the same way you had before.
“It’s all we got. And if we are led somewhere, we’ll figure it out.”
“Okay. Talk to you in a bit. I’ll meet you in the parking garage?”
“No need. Already walking up.” In the background, you hear Jeon’s keys jingling as he strides. “Also, we’re stopping for food first. Bye.” A blunt click signals the end of the call.
Shit. He’s coming to your apartment? The current state is an indescribable mess - hopefully he wouldn’t call CPS on you. More importantly, you are still in your pajamas, and there is no way he can see you like this.
“Was that the curveball?” Penny asks with an impish interest.
Your eyes squint. “Take a guess.”
Hurrying down the cramped hallway to your shared bedroom with Penny, you trade your sweats for some comfortable jeans and, with the time ticking down, throw a moto jacket over your hoodie. As the knock on the door sounds, you’re gathering your hair into a ponytail.
When you reach the living room, Penny is already pulling the door open. You hear a greeting, and then Jeon’s head appears around it comically, peeking into the apartment.
“There you are,” he says, looking at your current state with confusion. Not exactly what you might wear to base, but it got the job done. He snickers. “What, did I catch you off guard?”
Trying to hold back your minor pants from running around so much, all you can muster is, “Yeah, a little bit.” You turn to the mirror and pluck a bobby pin from your lips, tucking it into your hair to keep the flyaways down.
“Okay, let’s hit it. Penny, super sorry about this, I’ll finish watching with you later when I get home. There’s food in the fridge, you know where the money is, and I’ll call Yeji to check in on you if it gets late, okay?”
She pouts. “Okay.”
“Hey, you remember the safe word?”
Penny nods dramatically, her dark bangs bouncing, standing on her tippy toes to whisper in your ear, “Cherry-cola… also, he’s really cute.”
You pull away laughing, giving her a light noogie with your fist as her nose scrunches up. She wasn’t wrong, of course. Your time apart did him well, and you assume he must have gotten tips on how to dress because of how effortlessly put together he looked these days. But that's beside the point.
“Love you, Pen. Bye. And make sure your ringer is on.” With a small peck on the top of her head and bidding goodbye with a promise to return, you’re pulling away and leading Jeon out the door, being careful in locking it behind you.
“What’s with the safeword?” He asks, starting down the hall to the elevator. An uncomfortable tilt to his lips fixes on his face. “Isn’t that… kinda inappropriate?”
You roll your eyes, swatting at his shoulder. “Ew. Not that kind of safeword, dumbass. It’s so she knows who she can trust and let inside. There’s a lot of people that I trust that she doesn’t know, so if I have someone swinging by I tell them so she knows she can trust them too.”
He makes a sound of understanding, slipping his hands into his pockets. The way he ambles is spirited yet composed, shoulders relaxed with purposeful steps. Jeon always came and went like low tide in the morning, a calmer view of his personality considering his notorious “devil may care” attitude.
“Can you tell me?” Once he sees the disapproving expression on your face, he continues, “Listen, I already know about her. What if something happens and you need me to get her and you’re too busy dying to tell me?”
Crossing your arms in front of you, you shake your head. “Hopefully that will never happen in the first place, but god forbid…” you cautiously lower your voice, “Cherry-cola.”
“Cherry-cola?” he repeats casually.
You shush him loudly, glaring and speaking through gritted teeth. “The point of a safeword is that not everyone knows it!” 
“Sorry,” his lips purse as you press the button and begin waiting for the elevator. “Why that one?”
“It’s our favorite drink. Goes with anything.”
“Well...”
You cut him off with a hand as the thick metal doors slide open and the two of you step inside. “Not a matter of opinion. I don’t want to hear it.”
He raises his hands up in defense. “Okay, okay. I will respect that, but you know...”
It’s then that you see him giving you a look, an impish smile adorning his cheeks. The dimples that gently poke his skin are the kind that make you feel lucky.
“What?”
His eyes avert, head shaking as he turns away and exchanges his view for his sly reflection in the metal. “Oh, nothing.”
“Gguk.”
A teasing tone coats his tongue as he speaks. “Well, I don’t know, it just reminded me, you know, just pulled the thought from the deep recess of my brain, that.... we used to have one too.”
You almost couldn’t believe your ears, even considering asking him to repeat himself.  The arch look in his eyes told you everything you needed to know. “Yeah, we did,” you agree. “Not like I ever had to use it...”
He faces you with a disbelieving breath of laughter leaving his open mouth, astonished. “What, did you want to have to say it?”
You shrug nonchalantly, raising your voice to say, “No, no… you were always just a little soft about it, that’s all.”
You can’t help the grin growing on your face as his lips part in offense, one corner slowly turning up in a knowing open-mouthed smile. His lids drop in the slightest manner, barely noticeable if you didn’t pay such close attention, and you have to turn away before your face starts to blaze too unbearably. “Oh, you know I was not soft.”
Both of you are thinking the same thing, no doubt about it. Memories roll back like pristine tapes on a projector, ones that most definitely prove his point.
You clear your throat, unsure of where the conversation is going and not bold enough to let it brew. “Anyway, about the guy…?”
He’s disappointed in your choice to change the subject, the tell in the way his head drops and chews at his lower lip for a split second, but abides nonetheless. “Twenty-six years old, been working at lots of casinos around as a dealer but his most recent job was three months ago at King’s Crown. After that, no record. Unfortunately, we have to take him alive since the investigation has the police involved.”
“Unfortunately?”
“Well, kind of. It’s just limiting when there’s a stipulation.”
“Okay. I will respect that.”
Your callback is the cause of a smile taking over his face. You’re glad he doesn’t mention your attitude - if he did, your dignity wouldn’t let you continue. Maybe it’s your good mood paired with his unexpectedness, maybe it’s Yeji’s advice telling you to tolerate him, but regardless, you won’t deny that it feels better than the anger. With hope of a lead comes hope that this could work out.
“By the way, what’re you in the mood for?” Jeon asks casually, turning to you. “We can do fast food, we can do Firehouse...”
As soon as he says the word, memories from long ago that almost don’t even feel like yours resurface. Firehouse was always your and Jeon’s go-to pizza place on lunch break or for celebration after a job well done. Though you haven’t been there in years, the delectable taste of their pies is still fresh in your mind. It’s tempting, but you don’t want to make the decision. You weren’t that hungry, anyway. Jeon stares, awaiting an answer.
At your shrug, his patience runs out and he fishes his hand into his pocket. “Okay, I’m flipping a coin. Firehouse is heads, tails is the nearest drive-thru.”
He says it naturally, but you know he’s testing the water by the way his gaze lingers, measuring your reaction to see if you’ll be angry with him. Not one, but two fond tokens from the past, all in the span of thirty seconds? At one point, flipping a coin was an everyday occurrence to settle disagreements, whether it be where to eat, what time to close up shop, or whose plan to follow. You know he’s trying to jog your good memories, but maybe it’s not such a bad thing.
The metal flings from his thumb and lands with a muted tap in his opposite palm. He slaps it over to the backside of his hand.
“Heads. Firehouse it is.” His eyes flick up to yours, an eyebrow raised in curiosity.
You grin. “Sure. Wanted that anyway.”
He rolls his eyes. A shy smile crawls up his face, the faint hallmark scar at the edge of his cheekbone shifting. “Yeah, alright. Tell me next time before it lands on something you don’t want.”
The elevator doors open with a ding, freeing you into the open world. If you let the resentment subside for a few minutes, it feels just like it used to when things were okay - you and Jeon against the world.
☆☆☆
“So this is it?”
You’re staring up a beat down brick building four stories high. It’s dilapidated and nearly falling apart, in contrast to the virgin casinos, modern and flawless with intricate architecture and an ambiance of expense just half a mile away. Supposedly, your guy was somewhere in there, and it was your best bet that he had something of value to give you.
Jeon slams his side of the car door, still licking at pizza grease on his forearm, and comes around to stand next to you. “Yeah. Floor two, apartment two.” You laugh to yourself incredulously at his casual antics, but he doesn’t seem to care as he walks right up to the door.
He finds that no buzzer is needed for entry, so with your guns at the ready, you take slow steps inside. Jeon leads, you trailing to the side of him. It’s eerily quiet, not a single person out to encounter, none of the hustle and bustle a usual apartment would contain, not even the sounds of footsteps or moving furniture. Did anyone actually live here?
The floors of the hallways are decorated with faded forest green carpet, stains and dust covering the washed-out fabric. There is an ugly floral strip of wallpaper at the top of the beige walls that are dented and scraped in random places.
You’re careful to keep down the volume of the creaking stairs as you shift your weight over them, but it’s nearly impossible. Upon further inspection, the door frame of apartment two was covered in scratches and markings, thin cobwebs joined in the corners. The door itself looks cheap and it has what seems to be a few drops of blood splattered near the knob. You and Jeon share a look of uncertainty, those gut instincts kicking in to let you know that something was off.
He begins to count down, and on three, you’re pushing in the door. He rushes in first with you on his tail to scope out the sides. The apartment is empty, except…
“Well, that’s fucking fantastic.”
There’s a dead body occupying the chair in front of the television. It’s the man, alright, but his throat has been slit, red coating his neck and clothes, head hanging back over the seat. There’s no smell, though - it couldn’t have been that long since others were here, especially due to the slight glisten of blood not yet dry on his skin.
They didn’t bury him, either. Just left the body out in the open for you to find. One alarming step ahead, just like last time.
“Covering their tracks. They knew he fucked up and took care of him before we could,” says Jeon, scouring the rest of the beaten-down unit. No signs of a struggle, no mess, no nothing. A dead end.
When you pat the body down, reach into his pockets, there’s nothing. When you move to his bedroom and start to search through his nightstand, it strikes you that there might be something invasive about rustling through a dead man’s belongings, but you’ve done it too many times to still be sensitive to it. You peer around his closet, look under the mattress, filter through his drawers, until a certain glint of light catches your eye.
On the side of his bed closest to the window, a small card lies on the carpet beneath, hidden by the frame if it weren’t for the shiny sticker on the back. You bring it up for a closer look in the light.
It’s got his name, picture, and contact information as well as a barcode at the bottom. Not a driver’s license, but an ID card for the Belvedere Casino. The sticker in the top corner makes out a small icon of a spread of playing cards.
You’re about to shout out to Jeon, but stop yourself as soon as you open your mouth.  You take a slow once over around the room. Namjoon’s words echo in between your thoughts - Could the place be bugged? They were here not so long ago, and considering how they kept seeming to be a step in front of you at all times, it wasn’t a far stretch. There was no way to be sure, but you had a hunch.
Walking back to the main room, you catch his attention from where he is snooping around the shelves. 
“Didn’t find anything. I think we’re out of luck.” When he turns to look at you, you widen your eyes and make an intense gesture with your finger to your lips before pointing a finger from your ear to the ceiling and directing your eyes around the room. You’re grateful when he understands immediately.
“Seriously? Nothing?” he asks timidly.
“Yeah. They got us. We should head back and call for cleanup, see if they can find anything.” You start for the door, pulling it open.
He hums, eyeing the item in your hand as he walks out behind you. “Good idea… I don’t really want to be here anymore anyway. Feels too weird.”
It’s silent all the way down. Was it too obvious? Was the dialogue too strange, too choppy? The two of you reach the street, careful of your surroundings, before getting back in his car. 
“What was that about?” he asks, shutting the door as he slides into the driver’s seat.
You hold out the card for him to take. “Look. You know how you said there was no recent record of employment besides at King’s Crown? He’s been working at the Belvedere the past three months.”
He looks at you incredulously. “And?”
For whatever reason, he makes you doubt yourself. Suddenly, that solid idea you had in mind that made you split from the apartment is no longer so solid.
“The Belvedere has to have something. That’s our new lead!” Pulling your seatbelt over your body, you reach for your phone to give the Boss an update.
“He could have just been working off-record and gotten involved with the Syndicate some other way.”
You turn to him seriously. “Jeon. If it’s separate, why bother? Why would he be working for the Syndicate when he has a stable source of income as a dealer unless the two come hand in hand? They have to be hiding in plain sight.”
“And you’re willing to bet all your cards on that?” You almost find the doubt in his voice offensive.
You exhale deeply, trying to push down your temper. “The people in the Syndicate who killed him made sure there was nothing left on him to tell us who he was. No wallet, no keys, no license, no nothing, because they wanted his identity hidden. If he was working for them separately, why would they bother to do that? They would have just killed him and left. But it was about who he was and what he did. Which was dealing at The Belvedere.”
The car goes silent, and Jeon doesn’t reply. He only looks at you blankly, his poker face hard to break through, but not impossible. You know when he lets a hand slip up to tug at the strands at the nape of his neck.
“Good job,” he grins, hooking the key in the ignition and rumbling the car to life. He pulls out of the parking spot and onto the road casually. 
“Are you fucking kidding me?” You cross your arms in front of you protectively, glaring at him from the side.
“Oh, come on. I never actually doubted you, I was just messing around.”
You scoff loudly, turning to the window. “You’re such a fucking liar, Gguk. You didn’t get the connection until I explained it and the fact that you can’t even admit that you’re wrong, the fact that you have to act like you always knew, blows my fucking mind!”
He makes a left turn, looking out at the road, clearly avoiding you even though you’re stuck in the same damn car a foot away. “Calm down, Y/N. It’s not that serious.”
“But it is that serious! It was going so well, Gguk. We were finally acting like regular partners on a job. You always have to ruin everything, don’t you? It always has to be about you, and how much of a hero you are-”
“I never said I was a hero.”
“But you sure act like it.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“Oh, I’m being ridiculous? Comes from the guy who claims he was ‘just joking around’ during a serious case like this when you know it’s not like what it used to be.”
“Okay, fine!” He shouts, hands slamming down on the steering wheel. “I did doubt you. I thought it was far fetched.” Jeon's voice booms as he rambles quickly in aggravation. “And then you explained it and I remembered that you’re really fucking smart and I wouldn’t have made that connection myself. And I lied because I didn’t know what else to say. I’m sorry, okay? Are you happy?”
Jeon’s free hand, which had been jerking around as he yelled, finds itself gripping the wheel again regretfully. Silence fills the car, hanging in the air as heavy and solid as concrete. You’re almost scared to breathe in face of all the tension. He looks like he’s about to say something else but stops himself before the words fall out. 
The way you were fuming brings tears to your eyes. When your parents died, all you had was Jeongguk. But Jeongguk’s heart had been rooted in the mafia since he was young. The two were mutually exclusive, and your best option was following after him. It was hard to believe the boy you put your trust in so blindly all those years ago had grown into the man sitting next to you now, bringing you to tears with the way he infuriated you. Where did it all go wrong?
“No. I’m not.”
☆☆☆
You’re tired when you go to bed that night, and you’re tired when you wake up. Though you’re barely awake, you can feel Penny nestled into your side, body rising and falling as she breathes. It’s a small comfort, especially after the rough day you had. Last night had been a mess as you tried to hold it together for her, but simply couldn’t. 
Today, you’ll be heading over to a motel in the Gambling District to stay at indefinitely with Jeon while you work on the case. You have no clue how long it will take - you’ll be taking a look at the Belvedere, but what comes after that, you don’t know.
It was important to note that somehow, the two of you had moved up to the faces of the mission, even though both sides were working tirelessly in the search. 
The last thing you want to do right now is see him, but you have no choice. The sooner you start working and get it done, the sooner you can get home. But for now, you have to start packing. You take another moment to lay with Penny, because when you’ll next feel this safety and comfort again, you can’t be sure of. Then, you carefully unlink her from you and begin laying things out.
Something nice to wear for the casino, clothes to sleep in, essentials for hygiene, an extra pair of socks… 
Eventually, Penny stretches out and groans to inform you of her awakening while you roam around the room. Her feet shifting under the comforter push a t-shirt off the bed.
“Sleep okay?” She rubs her eyes. “Yeah, you?”
“Eh. Could have been better.”
While you are away, Penny will be home by herself. The Boss said that she wouldn’t be required for work while you were gone - she could stay home and safe, for your reassurance. It still makes you nervous, of course, but bringing her with you isn’t an option. Yeji promised she would stop in from time to time, and you would be leaving her with a sum of money in case she needs it to order food or something of the sort.
“When are you leaving?”
“I have to be there by one, so probably in an hour or so.”
“Can we make waffles then?”
You sigh, letting your arms go limp at your side. Waffles were a hassle, and the cleanup could be a nightmare, but… something told you it was worth it over the potential mess.
“Sure, go get the machine set up and I’ll come out in a sec.”
It takes a few more minutes to get everything packed, take a few extra bottles of soaps and gels just in case, quickly zipping up your duffle bag and tossing it down onto the bed for when you return later.
Out in the kitchen, Penny has gotten more of a move on. She has already retrieved the ingredients from the pantry, even started measuring amounts out accordingly with the instructions on the back of the box.
You let her have a little fun and crack the eggs this time - though some shell gets in there, it’s nothing you can’t pick out. She makes jokes and you can’t help but laugh, and something about it has its way of calming you down. It reminds you of how precious moments spent together are. Something about the girl just makes you let go of the burdens you carry.
But it’s much too soon that you’re cleaning up. A small ending for a small fragment of your day bound to be filled with things much larger than you’re ready to handle. 
The rain falls like feathers when you pull into the lot, plunking consistently on your windshield. You turn the key and take it out, shutting down the vehicle’s rumbling engine, the lights dimming out all around you. You should get inside sooner than later, before the weather worsens, but you can’t seem to bring yourself out of the car. Jeon’s is already parked, meaning he’s inside waiting. But there’s no other choice you have. You’ll have to see him at some point, anyway. Postponing will only anger you further.
You push open the car door quickly, grabbing your bag and darting up the stairs as they clang under your shoes. The droplets smack against your skin and drip down relentlessly. It could be worse, but it is certainly not pleasant. Once you find shelter under the awning, you raise your hand in preparation to knock, but Jeon is already yanking open the door and stepping aside to make way for your entrance.
Inside, you dab at your hair with your sleeve carefully, fixing it in the mirror opposite to you. As clued in by the backpack and laptop already set up on the right side of the singular bed in the room, you deduced he had already claimed it. Therefore, you take the initiative to place your own bag on the left side, closest to the wall.
“So… how are you?”
“I’m fine.” You reach into your bag to begin unpacking a few of your essentials, feeling his eyes glued to you as you move around the room. Even as you plug in your charger, toss your computer on the bed, you could sense his firm yet uneasy presence behind you.
“Have you started yet?” you ask, brushing back the hair that had fallen forward onto your face. You’d prefer to start your work instead of floating around the elephant in the room awkwardly. 
He tucks his hands into his pockets. “No, I was waiting for you.” Jeon has been stuck to the same spot near the dim lamp beside the door since you stepped through the threshold. It inclined you to think that maybe he’s as nervous as you are, but you’re sure it’ll pass over in a matter of minutes once he gathers himself. 
“Okay.” You exhale in thought, sweeping yourself into a comfortable position on the bed. “I’ll start doing background on the casino and it’s ownership records. You can look into workers or people associated with the man who was killed. Or call the agency, I don’t know. You do you.”
He makes a small noise of agreement, flipping open his laptop. However, with the slow movement of his fingers across the keyboard, the air void of purposeful clicking, you can tell he’s not getting much done. In fact, you can see in your peripheral his stillness, as if he’s waiting to make a move.
When you spare a glimpse over to him, he offers an expression of deep thought, only to say, “There are snacks, too. In case you get hungry.”
Your scampering flow of typing pauses. “Okay.” All you can offer is a brief, tight pull of your lips, what you could barely define as a smile.
Luckily, he seems to receive your message loud and clear, turning back around in his chair to start up whatever he was planning on. You know what you want to get - the information most valuable to doing what you needed to do and confirming what you already suspected, which was in the past records of the proprietorship. It would also be helpful if you could find current workers and see what they were doing; Maybe even more helpful if you could find nothing at all.
The records you stumble upon are nothing short of interesting once you finally break down that barrier. Ownership of the casino had been consistent up until three months ago, when the deed holder - a healthy man of only fifty-six years old - made a business deal and swiftly moved out of the country, only to be found dead in his home a month later. The new owner’s background appeared without even the slightest scratch. The lack of suspicion is suspicious in itself - you don’t think the Falcon would have the place under his own name, but having it under someone who is pristine as a newly minted coin is dubious all the same.
It’s the shut of Jeon’s laptop that sucks you back into the reality of the motel room from your online sanctuary. He stands up to stretch and makes a move for the bathroom. The room is shrouded in the darkness of nighttime, save for the moonlight streaming in through the windows and the sorry excuse for a lamp on your night table. It wouldn’t kill you to call it a night either.
When he emerges, you take your turn, bringing a change of clothes with you so you won’t have to face the tension that might arise if you came back out in just a towel. The shower is pleasant; For a second, if you close your eyes, you’re no longer in the same space with him and can enjoy the time for yourself. 
Your heavy heart can’t be kept at bay for too long. Outside the bathroom is a surprisingly accurate reminder of old times, when scenes just like this were the regular, and the feeling was the same. But at this moment, the way you’re avoiding his eyes while you braid your hair in the mirror is a show of just how much things have changed.
“Why are you looking at me?” you pipe quietly over the steady padding of your feet on the carpet, his watch following you hesitantly.
Jeon sits back at the head of the bed, not sure where to direct his gaze anymore now that you’ve verbally interrupted it. His constant attention, and especially the way he doesn’t deny it even in the face of your attitude towards him, leaves you with a weary ache that you’re quickly getting tired of feeling all the time.
A charming, shy smile fixes on his face as his head tilts endearingly, testing the waters. “What, I can’t look at you?”
“Not like that,” you mumble, barely above a whisper, lifting up the sheets to crawl in, leaving as much space as possible between the two of you. When you turn your back to him to look at the wall, you think he might make another teasing comment, but he doesn’t.
“It’s the braid,” he elaborates, as if it’s some sort of excuse sufficient enough to play flirty and cool with you when the situation is anything but. “It reminds me of when we were kids… you used to wear it like that every day.” 
It’s almost as if to say, do you remember? But of course you remember. Afternoons spent at the playground, your hair in a loose braid thrown over the front of your shoulder. Mornings spent in the courtyard, scribbling down answers to work that was due in ten minutes. Evenings spent wandering around town, laughing and joking together as kids should. But nothing offered by the times of the past could dismiss the times of the present.
You lean over and tug the chain on the lamp, darkness enclosing your small room.
“Go to bed, Gguk.”
He doesn’t make another sound that night.
☆☆☆
The storm has proven its resilience yet continues to torrent, horribly testing the aging logs of trees and endlessly splattering your windows. Even still, it has something to say, residing anger it wants to make you feel, trapping you inside your room and limiting your options. It’s a deep pain, but perhaps if you were a storm, you’d let yourself drain out every ounce of deplorable wrath until there was nothing leftover, too.
Jeon sits at the small table near the door. He’s been there for who knows how long, flipping through pages, making phone calls that connect no dots, wasting his time. There is nothing that can be done at the moment, not with the state of the weather at least. Weather, a trivial matter, the most popular topic choice for insignificant conversation, heeds your course of action without a known resumption.
In the meantime, you enjoy yourself as much as you can. You make popcorn in the less than appealing microwave and settle in to watch whatever piques your interest in the slightest, meaning there is not a wide selection. Right now, you’ve got on a show about the aliens who have supposedly visited ancient Egypt and other societies bygone, and have been consistently present throughout the timeline of human history.
“Y/N. Let me ask you a question.” Jeon rubs his forehead, slumping over in his chair. “Did you come here with the intention of helping this case, or just to vacation?”
You nod in thought, humming. “Good question. I’d say the former, but I don’t think your question was intended to have an answer. Let me ask you a question then.”
His tired face turns to you expectantly. 
You take a pensive breath before raising your hand and asking slowly, “Do you think that aliens provided advanced technologies to the Germans to build new weapons for the Third Reich?”
He stares at you blankly, meeting your still and inquisitive expression for just a moment until he cracks, shaking his head and looking away toward the window, as if he’ll find something better to say out there.
“No, I’m serious,” you insist as you toss another kernel into your mouth, hoping he takes your biting satire to heart. “Because, this guy is saying that the Germans built a flying saucer. A whole fucking flying saucer, called the Haunebu, and no, wait, listen, it was said to use mythical technology from old Indian texts.”
You stare, intent on waiting for a response. Jeon pinches the bridge of his nose, the way his fuse was quickly shortening keeping you bitterly entertained. “You have to work with me, Y/N. Can you please just work with me?”
The joke dissolves and you blankly turn to flip through the channels. “I am working with you. There’s just nothing to work on.”
He puts his head in his hands. “For God’s sake, can you stop? I know you don’t care for me, but if you could just cooperate-”
Your eyes widen in surprise. “Care for you?” you repeat, your smile fueled with gallons of flammable offense, sitting upright on the bed. He spins in his chair to face you again, eyebrows knitting together before confirming, “Yeah, care for me!”
A sour laugh escapes you, arms folding over your front. “I don’t care for you? That’s rich, Gguk.” 
“No, you don’t! And I don’t think you ever have, quite frankly, because you’re acting like such a bitch to me and can’t even give me a chance!” Jeon stands now, leaning into his words as his hands stretch out in dramatic gestures.
You jump to your feet. ”Why should I give you a chance? What good has that ever done me?”
Jeon’s jaw visibly clenches, his hand shooting up to meet his chin as he eschews your scrutinizing eye. You feel your nails digging into your palms as your fists clench, but you’re sure you’ll swing at something if you stop.
Your throat begins to sting, masking your cracking voice with a low tone. “I almost died for you, Gguk. And a week later, you left me.”
The room collapses under the weight of the elephant. It’s everything you’ve wanted to say for years bubbling to the top.
As soon as the venom leaves your mouth, you know he remembers. The guilt washing over his features says it all, awful clips of the last mission you ever went on together passing through his vision.
It was supposed to be an easy interception of a deal, but Jeon’s inability to differentiate between necessary risk and recklessness cost you your covers. He got away. You were captured.
It was torture at the expense of his safety. Excruciating pain in order to protect him from his own mistake. Your blood spilled, your tears cried, your body hurt. Yet at the end of every video, every call, every threat, your only message to him was that it was okay.
They were the worst you had ever encountered. They wanted leverage over the Boss; They wanted Jeon. And the only way to him was to you. At the time, it was worth it. You wouldn’t give him up, you wouldn’t let yourself become a part of an exchange for his life. You put his over your own in a heartbeat.
And where had that gotten you?
Your depth of a breaking point had provided that desperately needed time to organize a plan of attack, and even though you hadn’t been there quite yet, even though you had been trained and it was far from your first rodeo, it wasn’t anything less than scarring. 
Even though the mafia infiltrated and rescued you successfully, the inner turmoil never fully recovered. Though you moved past the nightmares and the flashbacks that hid in your damaged subconscious, the memory never stopped hurting. Especially when he up and left you to deal with it on your own.
“I know,” is all he can muster. 
A thrilling laugh of spite rips from your throat. He hates it.
“What? That’s all you can say? You can’t even give me an explanation?”
“I… I was out of options for us, Y/N. After the mission, I knew it was me making you vulnerable. People were hurting you over me, and I didn’t want that for us anymore. I made a plan to leave, and I thought that you could come with me… but I was stupid and in a rush and the deal was only for my cooperation if the Agency helped me out. They wouldn’t let me take you.”
Your usual crisp verbosity fails you now, everything you need to say stuck in your throat. A stabbing anguish falls like bullets in a downpour, a storm born only in the bitterest winter. 
“I know I fucked up, Y/N, I know I did. And I’ll always be sorry and I’ll always regret it. And I’ll spend every second of my life trying to make up for it.” Jeon’s lip quivers through his shaky breaths, his eyes now soaked, the ache in his heart unforgiving. “And I know I can’t ever take it back, but you hate me so bad…”
A pained upturn of your lips feeling the grudge of a thousand wrongdoings phases over your expression, for him, for you, for everyone you’d ever known in this sickening lifetime.
“I don’t hate you, Gguk,” you sob through your teeth, wiping furiously at your eyes, “I hate… I hate that I love you regardless of what you do.”
He winces. “Please don’t do that to me.” “Do what?”
Hot streams of tears trickled down his supple cheeks, voice cracking as he whispers, “Say that you love me when you know how I feel.”
“Oh shut up, Jeongguk!” you yell, wet rage prickling your veins as it courses through you. Your cheeks are now just vessels for a dam breaking loose. “I have always loved you!”
And it hurts so bad to say it. The way he makes your stomach flutter feels like a betrayal to yourself. But that smile he wears like a medallion, those eyes that are always searching for you, that golden heart that loved you so well - everything you hate is everything you love. Even when you want to ignore the truth for everything it’s worth and all the weight it heaves on its shoulders, it’s impossible to escape the way you love him even when you wish you could just hate him.
You calm yourself with a shaky breath. “I loved you before, and I loved you after, even when you left and I knew you weren’t coming back.”
“That’s not true,” he sputters, taking a step toward you. “I was always going to come back. Every day, I begged for help to get you out. But the deal I made with the agency was only my rescue for my cooperation, and it didn’t include you, no matter what I tried to do.”
It stings your chest. You have to turn away when your head drops to your palms, but he’s quick to reach a hand to your shoulder for your attention. 
“It’s been over three years, Gguk,” you whisper, sniffling as you wipe your running nose with your sleeve. Your voice is clogged in disappointed acceptance. “Don’t lie. Just say my relevance to you faded and you forgot.”
He grasps your arm gently, beckoning your eyes to meet his. While your tears are slowing from tire, his are an endless faucet left on in negligence.
“No,” his tone softens, “No, I was waiting until it was safe.”
You shake your head, the soreness in your chest present as ever as you try to hold it all in. “It was never going to be safe.”
“Maybe. And maybe it won’t ever be. But you have to let me make it right.”
“How do you intend on doing that? Putting snacks in the fridge doesn’t do shit, Gguk.”
He inhales deeply as his lips press together. Jeon takes a careful glance around the room, eyebrows furrowing as he silently pleads with you. 
“I made a plan to get you out after the mission is completed. The higher-ups at the Agency agreed just in exchange for you to give a private report with as much as you know for future reference. From there, it’s you going wherever you want, no strings attached, no extra deal you have to make.”
“That won’t work,” you scoff.
“Yes, it will! I promise it will! Listen, everything is already planned. My friends are taking extra care because they trust me. You’ll have new records, a new passport and a license, new everything, and even…”
“Gguk...” You whisper as he continues rambling. “Gguk. Jeongguk!”
He takes in a sharp breath as his words are cut off mid-stream, feeling his heart drop to his stomach.
In a quiet, calm whisper, you explain, “I can’t. I have Penny and other people here that I care about. For god sake, I have money I've been saving for years in that apartment, all our stuff is there, I can’t just leave and not come back.”
The desperation in his voice is now out in the open. “I know. I wasn’t expecting that, but I’m working on her now, too. You just have to trust me.”
For a second, he lets himself swell with hope, but your deep, despondent sigh crumbles him right back down to where he started. 
“Gguk…” you start, but he can’t bear to hear it, leaning down to meet your hesitant eyes straight on. Distress clouds his watery pupils as he implores you with every ounce of sincerity he can muster to the surface for you. He doesn’t know how else he can make you see he’s being more honest now than he ever has been in his life. 
“It’s okay if you can’t forgive me. I understand, and I’ll never stop being sorry. And, and I’m sorry for how I acted when I saw you again, but I was just so scared.” His lip trembles as he searches for eyes for something, anything. “I didn’t know what I was supposed to do because I was so scared of what you’d say and how you’d feel and I thought if I acted like it was fine, it wouldn’t hurt as bad.” 
He swallows on a dry mouth, trying not to stammer but his heart denying him that ability.
“I, I thought about you every day. Every day. And I knew it was complicated and everyone told me I should just let go and, and I just couldn’t! I just knew it was you. It was always you. And I am so, so sorry I made you feel it wasn’t.”
By now, you can’t restrain your tears, no matter how hard you clench your teeth or comfort your face. In a moment of deep affliction, there’s no other place to turn but him. The second you pull him to you is relief synonymous with the feeling of when a battered castaway finally spots a plane coming for their rescue; it is joint. 
“I wish I could trust you, Jeongguk,” Sobs muffled by his comforting chest, you cry, ”But I don’t know if I can do that. I want to believe you so bad, but I… I don’t know if it’s worth it.”
The comforting warmth of his body is a mean juxtaposition against the harsh sobs that rack through it. Jeongguk smells of something sweet and nostalgically familiar, like sunny beach days spent down by the salty water, plucking seashells from the sand and digging for hermit crabs once the waves pull away from the shore. Light sunscreen and grainy memories that flash by as your brain slides through like film.
“That’s okay,” he mumbles into your hair. Your will splinters in his arms. “Just think about it. That’s all. Just think about it.”
Though you nod against him in shaky assent, it’s not a promise. 
☆☆☆
Not the next day, but the day after, is when you decide to make your move. 
The casino is a home base, hidden in plain sight. Not even that - crowded by the public eye, and yet not a suspicion raised despite its astronomical numbers being reported over the past few months. Sure, it was bustling full of rich men in need of something to spend their money on, but not enough to sustain those incredible reports.
And under that brittle, flimsy assumption comes your similarly brittle, flimsy plan. Go in, see what you can see. Scout for suspicious activity, chat up drunk patrons and loosen their lips, explore the building a bit. See what you see.
Your fingers are nimble, but your prickling nerves make them fumble as you try the clasp on your necklace. The nail on your pointer can’t seem to hold the small lever down for long enough, even when you twist the chain around so you can lean forward to do it in the mirror. You even consider just tossing it to the side and going without the necklace.
Jeon, standing awkwardly to the side and already having fixed his sleeves in place countless times, glances over to you in the mirror briefly. You sigh when you catch his hesitant watch in the reflection - his shy offer goes unspoken, just a reminder that it’s there if you want to take it. All it takes is a minuscule top of your head to give in.
 Resisting Jeongguk is like resisting gravity. It pulls you down sooner or later, no matter how high or far you push yourself off. But at the end of the day, it keeps you grounded.
His footsteps are barely audible on the carpet as he approaches timidly. Light on his feet, as always. You surrender the ends of the necklace to him and tug the pendant back around to the front. The pads of his fingertips are rough as they drag lightly across your skin in the exchange, igniting a flaming feeling in their path. You can feel the hairs on the back of your neck prickle as he pushes them out of the way with the back of his hand. Considering his extensive training and incredible eye, you’re sure he notices it, but you’re grateful he doesn’t say anything.
You try not to let your eyes wander in the mirror for too long. For your excursion tonight, your dress is one of the best you own - a simple, dark satin gown with a generous leg slit to steal some eyes, but not enough to make you uncomfortable. The deep cowl neck is flattering in its pristine v-shape, especially with the way the pendant hangs itself just above.
Jeon is sporting all black. His shirt is ironed smoothly, fitting well over his shoulders and tucked with care into his trousers and secured with a sturdy belt. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows to reveal his skin, tattoos peeking out in a shamelessly appealing way, and the collar…
Okay, too much. You’ll go into sensory overload if you look any longer. He’s caught onto it, the way a smirk creeps onto his face. He lingers a second longer after he’s clasped the jewelry in place. The Gguk you know flicks his eyes up quickly and throws a small, short smile your way, hands reluctant to pull away as they take the time to drift over your bare shoulders.
You clear your throat, taking the initiative to get on your way. He hides the way his spirit dips at the rejection, but he knows he can’t expect more. Once you’re outside and have locked the door behind you, the night air hits you, cool and fresh and promising. But for what exactly, you can’t be sure.
☆☆☆
The Belvedere is one of the most expensive-looking places in the city - in the months since you’d last worked a case around the gambling district, it had certainly been renovated. At the very front, the casino’s name glows light blue in a thin font while large ivory columns hold up a wide intricate ceiling to shade the pavilion. A wall of luxe glass doors lines the entrance, so sparkly and reflecting you think it can’t be just glass. 
As inviting as the front entrance seems, it is not your way in. Too many scrutinizing eyes, too many cautious cameras, too much security for your type of job. That leads you to the side of the building, a small alley between buildings with one side entrance. The agency already looped the footage twenty minutes ago just to be safe.
But of course when you try it, it’s locked.
“And… what now? They’ll notice if we just break in.”
Jeon shrugs. “Maybe not until a little while. Besides, we’re covered.” His pointer finds the camera up above the two of your for reference.
“I’d rather hold off on the damage we do.”
As he racks his brain for another option, your brain tunes in to the muted sound of shoes on linoleum. He raises a question just as you put your ear to the door but your shush quiets him immediately. The footsteps are coming your way.
Just as you feel the door about to open, you tug Jeon to the side next to the door’s hinge, pulling him down by his collar into a kiss. The door opens loudly and his hands, after his initial shock dissipates, find themselves on your waist as your own snake their way around his neck. You make sure one hand covers the side of his face generously and that your hair masks your own, meanwhile Jeon can’t help himself from getting swept up in you.
A guard, you think it is, halts when he sees the two of you, but takes it off his radar when he can no longer stand to watch your shamelessness. Or rather, Jeon’s shamelessness. His lips persistently press themselves to yours, nipping and pulling all the while his large hands push into your waist. Something about it makes you think it’s not just for a distraction.
The man shakes his head and turns the opposite direction, walking out toward the street. Before the heavy door falls closed behind him, you reach an arm out to grab the handle. Jeon pulls back slowly, blinking dumbfoundedly. He never thought you’d do such a thing - but clearly, it wasn’t such a thing to you by the way you were grinning like you’d only told a joke. He swallows, mentally slapping himself in a note to get himself together. You’re already stepping inside, and he picks up to follow suit.
You follow the hallway down the main room, and no one raises any concern, probably unable to sense suspicion in their state of inebriation. The two of you weave your way through crowds of people with too much money to spend, quietly thinking of how easy it would be to pickpocket them - but that’s for another time. 
A quick scan of the room provides you with the bar, rows of slot machines, pool tables, and a large lounge area filled with the sounds of mindless chatter and glasses clinking. You order drinks to blend in, nothing alcoholic, because as much as you wish you could get drunk and have fun in a casino, that wasn’t the reason you were here. Jeon hands you your coke with a practiced movement.
In a cheesy sort of cheers, he says, “To… the Lion and the Scorpion? Or is that too soon?” He purses his lips, half scared you’ll agree its too soon. It’s relief when he hears the laugh he missed so dearly.
“Not too soon, just a little embarrassing.” You clink your glass to his and take a sip. Jeon leads you over to the dartboards in excitement, one of his favorites to partake in. He chooses the one at the end of the row so you can stand beside him, supposedly to be impressed by his skills and praise him.
“God, this reminds me of Macau,” he sighs out contently. His coffee eyes roam around the large expanse of the hall, seeming to glitter under the crystal chandeliers hanging above you as he walks back from the controls, darts in hand. He gets into position and throws his first, landing for two points in the ring of red. As if you didn’t already know, he adds, “I loved Macau.”
You scoff. “What, because of the way our covers were blown and we had to massacre the lobby, or the sex?”
“Why not both?” He shrugs, smirk creeping onto his face. Another dart leaves his grip, expert aim leading right to the bullseye.
You take another sip of your drink. “Careful,” you warn, “Can’t be too good at this. It comes with questions.”
He hums, and you wonder if he’s even listening. “And you still had blood on your chest. Weirdly sexy.” His eyes narrow jokingly as he speaks just low enough so only you can hear it, and the reaction it pulls from you is exactly what he wanted when he starts to laugh. He lets go of his last dart with a shake of his head, either at the memory or his bad throw that says he’s going fishing.
He turns back to you. At your annoyed expression, he takes another swig of his drink and leans down to your ear. “Seriously though. That was hot.”
You roll your eyes before sending a scowl his way. “I’ll make sure to be extra messy tonight, just for you.” Your eyes crinkle peevishly. The sarcastic tone doesn’t escape him, but he does look hopeful.
“Hey, speaking of, this could be my New Macau. If you’re feeling frisky after the mission.” He throws you a flirtatious wink. While your poker face implies disinterest, your stomach is somersaulting head over heels, and you have a feeling he knows it by the way his eyes linger on you when you raise your glass to your lips. 
The phone in your purse vibrates. It’s a text from Yeji - need to get a move on. Jeon already has your gaze when you look back to meet him, but he knows it’s time from your expression alone. With a small nod, he goes up to end the game on the machine’s screen. Instead of coming back to you, though, he subtly taps your arm as he walks past and heads off to the door of the main floor, disappearing from your sight. You wait for a good thirty seconds, let people pass across the camera view at random, before hopping down from the barstool to follow in his footsteps.
You find him waiting in a secluded hallway, away from crowds or casino-regulars. He looks solemn, back pressed against the wall, and you have a feeling that what he has to say might upset you. He thinks so, too.
“Listen, you have to make a decision now. Before we split up, because there’s a chance I might not see you after this.”
You shrug. “I haven’t decided yet.” His eyebrows draw together as he gives you a pleading expression. His eyes flick to both sides of the hall before coming back to you, releasing a deep breath before pushing his hair from his eyes.
“I gave you the time, Y/N. You have to before it’s too late.” Jeon gulps, fumbling for the words. “Just come with me, please. I know it’s a lot to ask and I know you’re scared but you can trust me. I can help you.”
“No, Gguk. You don’t get it - It’s not possible. It’s not an option.” You sigh in resignation. A depleted smile surfaces as you shake your head. “Not in this life.”
“I’m not leaving you.”
“You did it once, you can do it again.”
“I’m not… I- I won’t. Y/N, please…” His lip quivers, his eyes glossing over.
He can’t accept the answer your silence provides. It’s not enough, not something he’s willing to endure. If it’s going to be a no, he has to hear it loud and clear.
He purses his lips tight. “I’ll flip a coin then.”
“...What?”
“I’ll flip a coin. Heads, you come with me. Tails, I’ll go,” he says shakily, swallowing, “...and I’ll never speak to you again.”
Before you can stop him, he’s wiping away the tears that have not yet had the chance to escape and aggressively fishing a quarter from his pocket, placing it on the tip of his thumb. Desperation burns in him, but you’re paralyzed. All you can do is stare, a fish out of water being held in the grip of an angler who just can’t let go. Or maybe one that’s urging you back out to sea.
His thumb flicks and the coin flies, the sound barely audible in this corner of the building but piercing to your ears. It flips in the air, every rotation executed with purpose - in that moment, as its arc nearly completes, the thought strikes you like lightning and without a second thought, you hand reaches up and snatches it midair.
Jeon is awestruck. He searches for something to say as his fountain of hope runs dry.
Weakly, you mutter, “Okay.” Its compliance, but a strange relief that makes you feel guilty the second it washes over you.
“Okay?”
“I’ll come.”
A tight-lipped smile spreads on his face - it’s the best he can do after such stress. In a heartbeat, he embraces you tightly, broad shoulders enveloping your form. His grip is familiar and only full of good things, even if it might suffocate you. His long, wavy locks brush lightly against your jaw as he buries his face in your neck. For once, you let yourself have that rare moment of comfort. 
“I won’t let you down,” he says, a vocal assurance for himself maybe more than for you. He thinks that maybe he shouldn’t say it, but he has to. “I promise.” 
It’s his first small triumph tonight. If nothing else, it is a debt repaid. He won’t push for more. He pulls back, lets you fix your hair and readjust your dress.
“Let’s get a move on. I’ll search the main floor, you take a look around the building. Keep in touch.”
You’re about to turn away from him, but his arm catches your wrist at the last second. When you look back to see what he has to say, he has trouble finding the right words.
“Listen… Y/N, I don’t know what it is, but I have this awful feeling. And I’m trying to ignore it, I know I’m probably just nervous, but I just want you to know in case. You don’t have to say anything…”
The hair framing your face bounces as your head begins to shake, trying to deny him before he can even say it. “No, Gguk, I know-”
“No. I...I love you. And you gotta know that, no matter what happens.” His thumb traces small circles on the patch of skin where yours meets your index. Before you have a chance to respond, he gives your hand a tight squeeze and plants a chaste kiss to your cheek, lips plush and sweet against your dimple, his last action as your token of remembrance. 
He doesn’t know why he feels so frail as he walks away, wiping away the wetness leaking from his eyes as he tries to calm himself down. Maybe it’s the lack of information, maybe it’s you possibly being in danger again. He tries to push it down as he struggles to resist the urge to look back at you; He’s just all up in his head, right? You can defend yourself, you’ll be fine without him, he reassures himself. You can make rope from kitchen twine.
You’re stuck on your own as the distance between you grows, heart racing as your time to say it back runs out like sand in an hourglass. In less than seconds, his figure has already disappeared around the corner.
A delicate finger reaches up to press the small button on the spyware piece tucked behind your ear. The whisper is low but you mean every syllable, regardless of the leftover turmoil that has consistently tempted you into anger the past few years - “I love you, Jeongguk.”
It’s a shot in the dark for you without his physical presence, but he hears it. It’s barely audible, but he hears it, and rings in his mind for moments after. It makes him feel right, like the moment when everything sifts into the bowl perfectly, no clumps of doubt left behind in the minuscule metal crosshatches. Even if just for a few seconds, the feeling of relief stays frozen in time.
You’re on your way back to the main hall when a buzz from your purse alerts you to an unknown number calling your phone. Typically you’d let it ring, thinking it was spam - but considering this was an agency phone, that wouldn’t make much sense. Your finger hovers over the green accept button, hesitantly pressing down and lifting it to your ear. 
The response is immediate. “The Scorpion,” a man on the other end addresses you, sounding much too enthusiastic for your taste. His voice is masked with a changer, the tone fluctuating as he speaks. “I’m glad you could make it tonight. I’ve spent a lot to make this place nice.”
The theatrics elicit an impatient eye roll from you. “Who is this?”
“Who do you think? You’re a smart cookie. There’s a reason they call you the Scorpion, isn’t there?”
He lets the pause marinate and continues, “I actually wanted to meet with you. I need to discuss something vital to you in person, but you’ll have to do some things for me first.”
You begin to turn around, spinning on your heels and intent on heading to Jeongguk downstairs, but the voice on the phone stops you. “Where do you think you’re going?”
You freeze, an eyebrow raising at the voice’s inquiry. Keen eyes scan quickly, landing on the faceless lens of a security camera - 
“It’s my casino. Of course I can see what you’re doing.”
A skeptical breath escapes you, squinting at the camera focused on your position. “...What do you want?”
“I just want to talk.” It’s casual.
“How do I know it’s not a trap?” “You don’t. But you don’t have any other option, really. If you need convincing… why don’t you check your home security?”
The dubious persona falters as your heart stops. It couldn’t be. You exit the call and open the app on your phone right away, and a sinking feeling hits you like a truck on the freeway, full speed and with reckless abandon. The view from the camera, grey and grainy, displays the apartment in pieces, furniture overthrown and papers scattered. The dread crawls up your spine as your worst nightmare, the one thing you always prayed for despite the lack of faith, comes to life; Penny is gone.
You call the number back.
“What now?” you say, jaw clenched. trying to calm your breathing.
“Take out your earpiece, toss it to the floor, and crush it. I need to protect my location somehow, right? Just a precaution.”
You slowly remove the receiver from its spot nestled in around your ear, thumbing the tiny matte black tech. It’s your connection to the outside, to safety. It’s your connection to Jeongguk. But the Falcon has played his cards right, leaving you with no other option. It falls from your fingertips, clatters to the linoleum, and you crush it underneath your heel.
“Now, your weapons. My guards will come to escort you - hand over your gun and any knives you may have on you. I know you’re sneaky, but now… really isn’t the time. I’ll see you in a bit.” A cold click ends the call and he’s gone.
On cue, two masked men dressed in all black emerge. They don’t frighten you, you know you could take them if you needed to. However, the priority is Penny, so you have to. You surrender your weapons and phone to them, and then they begin to shuffle you away to wherever the Falcon had made his nest.
Despite the nerves prickling like electric shocks, uneasiness itches in the back of your mind. Something about the phone call - was it the strange familiarity that made you feel so nauseous? You couldn’t quite place your finger on what was so off, on what about it pulled the alarm, but something besides the obvious situation at hand was wrong.
☆☆☆
Jeongguk doesn’t have much to go off of. He’s looking for something, anything, that can clue him in. He finds a creepy looking stairwell and decides to take it down. That’s how you find everything in need of being found, right? By following what feels off?
He comes to a storage room full of dusty metal shelves, all lined with boxes upon boxes. He takes a quick sweep of the room, shrugging to himself before delving into one. It’s just piles of text he doesn’t understand, pages and pages of orders and receipts dating back years and years. Maps of the building, information of repairs and inventory and renovations. It doesn’t mean anything useful, until he sees orders under names that ring a bell.
But from where? People he went to school with, maybe? For the life of him, he can’t remember where he knows them from.
He’s frantically flipping through pages, pulling boxes from the shelves and trying his best to read under the dim light. It’s not making any sense, until he lands on orders filed under the name… Jeon?
He freezes, all alone in the middle of a storage room full of thousands of documents, a sickly feeling washing over him.
A trembling hand reaches up to press the button on his earpiece.
“Y/N? I think I just found something.”
He waits, and no response from you.
“...Y/N?”
☆☆☆
The penthouse is in the heart of the city, just a few blocks away from the Belvedere. The view is enough to tell it to you - it overlooks miles of blinking lights and busy streets with which you have an archetypal love-hate relationship with. 
You’ve stepped fresh off the elevator into an open room that is in dire need of an interior decorator, or at the very least some basic furnishing. It’s basically empty, the dark hardwood floors even coated with a light layer of dust. Nothing except the moon and the fireplace at the other end of the room illuminate the space.
There’s shuffling, and the guards on either side of you are grabbing firmly onto your arms.
“What the fuck are you doing?” You struggle against them, fighting to get out of their grip, but one of them mutters how it’ll be better for you if you cooperate. You strain against the instinct to escape, every bone in your body screaming disgusted by the forced submission. Handcuffs click into place, and pressure on your shoulders pushes you to your knees. Then, they resign themselves to the back corners of the room.
A door creaks open at the far side of the room. The man sports a dark coat that obscures his figure, and long, dark hair hangs over the man’s face. His steps are slow and calculated on the wooden floor as he makes his way to the fire. Slender, practiced fingers grab onto the poker and stir the fire, glowing orange embers soaring in a blizzard of an inferno. A silver ring glints in the moonlight - one you’d recognize anywhere.
The details flood back, chains of connections like dominoes tipping over the edge of gut-wrenching betrayal - 
“...Boss?”
The man pauses, followed by a sudden clasp of his hands in… delight?
He spins on the heel of his oxfords to face you, hair sweeping back as he smiles at you.
“Keen as ever, my dear. You truly are the Scorpion. I know how you feel about your title, but you’re deserving of it.” 
A shaky breath leaves your throat, eyes stinging as you make out a low, “What is this?”
At the sight of your panic, the boss hurries over to you, making a show of how he takes your jaw in his hands. Though you flinch, he wipes the escaping tear with a calloused thumb.
“No, dear, no need to cry! This doesn’t have to be difficult. You are just leverage - you won’t be hurt as long as what needs to happen, happens.” The way he shakes his head, the twisted compassion in his eyes, makes you sick.
“Then where’s Penny?”
His sigh is accompanied by a sad smile. “Penny is the leverage over you. In case you get any funny ideas.”
“For what? What is this about?” you press, “What about the Syndicate, huh? Aren’t you gonna tell me what this is for?”
A rush of air, and then a sharp pressure on your throat. The Boss’s blade creeping up your throat - a small burn as he nicks your skin. 
“I’d watch my mouth if I were you. You should remember where your loyalties lie.”
You swallow thickly, and he continues.
“The Syndicate is real. Their presence in this city is real - but we are on good terms with them. I help them, they help me. They sacrifice a few men because they do what’s needed for the terms of the agreement, just like us.”
He blew up a building, ransacked the agency, led you on a wild goose chase in search of a threat that didn’t exist? There was always something psychotic about the Boss, that’s why he instilled so much fear in you - his lack of empathy, the lengths he’d go just for a show of power, but a ploy like this?
“And what’s that got to do with me?”
He scoffs. “It’s not about you, my dear. It never was. It’s about your connection to who it is about…”
His grin grows inverse to your pained frown, lips quivering as the realization dawns on you. “Jeongguk.”
“You’re the link, Y/N. I know how much you hate to love him. Only if you were forced to for the sake of the city. The reconnection wouldn’t be easy, but that boy is persistent, and the moment he heard you say those words back, it was sealed.”
You’re choked by the weight of his words crashing down on your throat. It’s horrifying, the way the tears well up and spill recklessly, finding it hard to breathe with your arms restrained. You focus your hardest on the effort to stay conscious, but the nausea is eating away at you.
“He was honest, too. He’s tried multiple times to fish you out of here. And it always rubbed me the wrong way. He’ll leave me behind, but not you? You’re my best, Y/N, but I despise you simply because of what your existence means.”
“You’re going to kill him?” you bite your lip to hold back the sob trying to crawl its way from your chest.
The Boss blinks, tilting his head in a faked compassion. “Only if he makes the same mistake again.”
An alert sounds out from his pocket. He fishes out his phone and holds it up to show you a map with a green dot steady on a location, seemingly yours.
“And it looks like we’ll find out right about… now.”
The elevator behind you opens, and the guards point their guns straight at the figure stepping off. His gun is held up protectively, but he has nowhere to go, face falling as he reads the situation - reads the pain on your face as you stare back at him on the floor.
He lowers his pistol, glaring at the man waiting smugly in front of him.
“Nice to see you again, Jeongguk.”
His lip turns down in disgust, spitting rancor - 
“Can’t say the same for myself, Dad.”
☆☆☆
The tension in the air is tight, like a thousand strings of yarn pinned wall to wall and floor to ceiling and impossible to maneuver. The Boss tsks at the cold reunion, more bitter than he had hoped. 
“What, you didn’t miss me all these years? I raised you, after all.”
“Raised me?” Jeongguk scoffs incredulously. “Try training me into your personal pawn, like some fucked up trophy for you to flaunt.”
“It was only so you could someday take my spot, son. I treated you the same way my father did me.”
The bitter timbre of his voice is laced with venom, so uncharacteristic of the Jeongguk you know. “Well, I worked out my daddy issues with a therapist. Maybe you should give it a shot. You should also probably mention how fucked up you are to plan a scheme like this just to bring me here.”
“You left, Jeongguk. I’d do anything for my son.”
“Oh, please-”
A loud click, and cool metal pressed against your forehead. Jeongguk freezes, and he knows the stakes. His blood boils from the blatant manipulation. There was a reason he left - he hated feeling this exact moment, and he hated reliving it even more. It was a place he thought he’d never be in again.
The Boss rolls his eyes again. “Always with something to say, forgetting I’m your elder, your father no less. Plan on letting me speak soon?”
His eyes are as cool as Jeongguk’s now. Dark, disappeared from dramatic frills or drawn-out tones. The resemblance is stunning, strikes fear in your heart, both physical and the mannerisms long-buried by time now resurfaced by each other.
When you meet the Boss’s eyes, they show no remorse for someone he claimed thinks of as his best.
Jeongguk’s eyes flick down and back up. Cooperation.
“Thank you.” He pulls the gun away, letting you catch a breath. “It’s simple, son. You agree to come back, and everything goes smoothly. If not, you won’t be leaving this room alive, and neither will she. Can’t have my trump cards playing against me.”
“Leave her out of this.”
“She’s the reason you’re here, how could I leave her out of this?”
“This is you and me. Not her.”
His father muses the idea, chews it up, spits it out. “Okay,” he grins. “Just us. I’d say go until one surrenders, but that’s not how us Jeons do it. If you can kill me, you’re free to do what you want.”
The guards lower their weapons, leaving the room at a snap of the Boss’s fingers, and Jeongguk’s grip on his tightens, knuckles turning white as he nods sharply in agreement. He’s been caught, a three-year-long game of cat and mouse finally come to a standstill. The man he looks at is just another cruel, cold-hearted crook on a power trip. The last thing he wants to do is fight him, because as skilled as Jeongguk might be, his father is equally such. He also has the upper hand: No feelings of remorse.
But he sees you on the floor, and when it comes to your life on the line, he knows he’d do anything. No matter the risk or the cost, he’d play a losing hand if he had to, if just to keep the fear from your mind. He steps past you, eyes speaking of reassurance when they meet yours, but it’s not a promise. 
Once Jeongguk has made his way around you to the center of the room, the Boss’s attention falls to you.
“Hear that, dear? This is a family issue. But in case you need any more convincing…”
The same door he creaked through minutes ago flies open, and in shuffles two people. Penny’s figure mirrors your own, arms tied behind her back. Her eyes are red and puffy, hair mussed and clothes wrinkled. There’s no blood or bruising visible, but it kills you the second you lay eyes on her. Your chest heaves silently, panic rising as she is brought in front of the fireplace, led by… Yeji?
The sleek, dark ponytail is unmistakable, and her cat eyes flick over to you in guilt as your words confirm her presence.
“I’m sorry,” she mouths, tears clouding her eyes. “I didn’t know.”
It was impossible to believe how easily everything was collapsing. Maybe your foundations were not as strong as you once thought. Wasn’t it just a week ago you had last spoken to her, taken her advice on working with Jeongguk?
“Again. No need for anyone to get hurt as long as you don’t interfere.”
But would Yeji hurt Penny, even at the Boss’s command? Was she that scared of him? Penny finds you, and you try your best to communicate reassurance, but you fall short. She trembles in fear the same as you.
Without warning, the Boss’s blade flies across the room. Jeongguk side steps, but the red gash sliced along his cheek taunts him for being a second too late. He reaches up a finger to dab at the blood in awe.
His anger fuels him forward. He raises his gun, ringing out shots that bury themselves in the drywall as he closes the gap. The Boss dodges each one. Slender fingers pull the gun from its holster, firing back immediately, glass shattering behind the younger.
Jeongguk zig zags on his feet, blade swinging up viciously at his father while he pulls the trigger in his left hand. The Boss is quick despite his age, no hesitation to his wide, ruthless swings. Jeongguk ducks and spins, changing their positions, knocking a knife from his grasp.
The man laughs. “That was good, but you can do better!” he yells, evading Jeongguk’s relentless swipes. As he taunts, a shard of glass reaches your vicinity. “Or are you too scared to hurt your old man?”
Your fingers bleed hot as you force the shard into the keylock, lifting up the metal lever.
It only fuels Jeongguk’s fire. A firm kick to the chest sends the Boss stumbling back. Jeongguk progresses, his knife dropping around in his grip, taking the slim moment to drive a sharp ice pick stab to his father's shoulder.
His eyes flick to you, and he doesn’t have the time to pull it back out. His father parries his left wrist outward and the gun is knocked from his fingertips, skidding to the floor, arriving kindly right in front of you. A single shot blasts out and Jeongguk lets out a clipped yelp. Your wrists free from the lock and reach for the solution just inches away.
But it’s already checkmate. The Boss’ blade is pressed up against Jeongguk’s throat, who is on his knees as he clutches at his thigh, crimson seeping through his fingers.
“Has the Lion been tamed since I last saw him?” The Boss mocks. There is nowhere for Jeongguk to go. “I’m disappointed, son. Love has made you weak.”
It steals the breath from your lungs. His eyes dart to your figure, mirroring his son’s actions just moments ago. He dares you to make a move. With his play, you can’t.
But that’s where the Boss is wrong. The man void of love sees it as a shot with a predetermined course from point A to point B, easily interfered with by the right tools, by the right move. However, love should not be mistaken for something meager. It’s an ever-weaving thread, crossing and connecting each and every way. Love does not have to be star-crossed and dire, it is not always a fated, tragic romance. There is no one love to outlast all others - not when it can be one you choose.
Yeji meets your eyes from across the room. The Boss has only a bluff catcher against her, the mistake of expecting loyalty before knowing for sure. It’s a twisted collusion that you never would have chosen, but it’s not your hand to play anymore.
Her vision is blurry through her tears. Yeji takes a breath she’s sure will be her last and releases it shakily. She has to do it now. She thinks of every other woman roped into his scheme, every future Penny that will be taken if it doesn’t end here, and she knows you can do it, because she was never strong enough to.
“Forgive me,” she croaks. 
An enraged bellow leaves the Boss, but all too late. She has already fired, breaking the lock that has held you captive all these years. A scream rips from your throat as Penny’s body falls forward and collapses to the hardwood.
Yeji is shredded by the entourage of bullets ripping from the Boss’s gun. She stumbles back, hits the wall, sinks to the floor.
Your hands instinctively reach for the weapon in front of you, hands fumbling as you pull the trigger with the weight of a thousand lives behind your index alone. The Boss falls, knife slipping from his fleeting grip, the third and final seal to the game.
The silence is stunning. Nothing feels real. It’s all shock before the pain rushes in, the inability to breath, the feeling of drowning. It’s utter anguish as you fight to the other side of the room, but Jeongguk holds you back. Pushing past him, only for him to spin you around and make you look him in the eye.
“We have to go,” he says through gritted teeth, voice cracking. His eyes plead with you as they blink away tears. Blood coats his hands, urgently dripping down his wrists as they grip yours. “Y/N, we have to go.”
 It dawns just as the day on the glowing horizon behind him that it’s over, but there is no victory in sight.
☆☆☆
The coming days are a whirlwind. Most of the time you’re numb, finding yourself stuck in your mind replaying memories over and over, and wincing to pull yourself out of them to the real world that is not much better. The funerals are a blur, long and tiring processions of black and sympathies you are not capable of accepting that leave your head pounding by the time you finally can sleep. But the dream world is not as kind to you as you would have hoped. 
It isn’t the memory of her death. It’s the memory of her smile, bright and tender, that could not see another day to shine. You haven’t stepped foot in the apartment yet. You will at some point, but not yet.
Yeji is another story. It’s a moral dilemma of what your inner compass tells you is wrong and your love for the only friend you ever had. Yeji was not bad, you know that. But it was murder, and perhaps that was why it did not go unpunished. Were her actions the results of weakness, or strength? Of personal desire, or wide-scale consideration? You could spend hours wondering whether things might have been different if she hadn’t done it, but at the end of the day, you would never get the chance to know. 
In the meantime, the mafia is collapsing. Those who wanted to leave took their chance the second the news of the Boss’s death came in. Ran away to other cities, shelters, anywhere they could to get away from the struggle of the organization. Others who had nothing else are stranded picking up the pieces. They won’t be able to make a comeback, you know that. They’ll turn to other forms of crime, maybe even those that you’ll have to face again in the future.
You can get away from it all for a few moments of peace, but not much more.
Jeongguk’s apartment is close to the marina. He’s lucky for such a beautiful view. This early in the morning, the world is silent, relaxing without the mindless bustling of life. Boats float calmly across the harbor, sails reaching up to the sky streaked with blossoming pinks and clement oranges. Daybreak’s retiring light glitters as it touches the surface of the water with a gentle hand.
The glass door slides open slowly behind you, and Jeongguk’s presence enters to calm your thoughts. The slight limp in his step is barely visible, and he’s lucky that his father’s bullet avoided his femoral artery. If it did, he’d probably be in a much more dire situation than he has now. Since that night, rumors have surfaced that the Boss missed due to nervousness, or fear. Jeongguk knows that his father’s aim was too sharp to miss, and also that he was a hypocrite.
He takes a seat in the chair beside yours. His hair is mussed from a long night of tossing and turning, the same as yours.
“Couldn’t sleep,” you mutter, tongue coated with exhaust.
He hums. “Me neither.”
The flux of air from his sturdy chest is a comfort that relieves the pain for just a little while. Lifts it away like a fog being cleared, and the weight falls off your shoulders so you can breathe again. His eyes swim with affection, and you’re sure that a thousand particles of stardust must be locked away behind his irises.
It never fails to amaze you how Jeongguk always seems to know what you’re thinking. “It’s not your fault,” he says.
“I know.” It’s weak, barely a whisper. Your head drops to your palms despite your claim. “But it really feels like it.”
He takes a deep breath, atmosphere placid and unassuming. “You did everything you could. Some things are just out of your control, no matter what you do. It’s not fair, but just because you couldn’t stop something bad from happening doesn’t mean you caused it.”
You swallow blearily. “I just don’t even know where to go from here. It’s never going to be the same. So what do I do now?”
“I don’t know,” he speaks gingerly, “Maybe you should get out of here. Start again, somewhere else. I’ll probably do the same eventually.”
Your head begins to shake at the thought.
“I don’t want you to go,” you pause. “I told you that.”
Jeongguk softens. “Oh… okay. I, I won’t then.”
Finally, your head raises to see him properly. His calm guise masks the need of reassurance beneath. “I mean it. Do you remember when you said to tell you the next time so it didn’t land on what I didn’t want?”
He nods slowly.
“When it was in the air, there was just this split second watching it that it hit me. I knew what I wanted. Despite everything,” the corners of your mouth upturn, but not all that happily, “I wanted to choose you.”
Dark, wavy hair falls in front of his eyes, brushing at the healing cut that will certainly leave a scar. His gaze is tender and soft and all that’s good in this world. He looks at you like you’re the only thing he’s ever wanted. And if you asked him, he wouldn’t hesitate to agree.
“I forgive you, Jeongguk. For everything, I don’t care. I’d go through it again and again if I had to.” A fleeting smile pushes the tears from their deep wells. “‘Cause I need you.”
Jeongguk suffered the subtle heartbreak of unknowing for years on end. He’d sit on his balcony just like this, mild evenings under the setting sun, knowing you were out there living under the same sky as him, yet so far apart. He thought of you crossing city streets, breathing the air of the home you loved and hated simultaneously, maybe even sitting out on the fire escape of your own apartment. You were within a radius of just miles, which sounds like nothing compared to how far he’d go for you. 
He saw you everywhere. Saw you in every crevice and crack of the city. When the sun was shining brightly, when rain poured like bullets. From the window of the train, from the coffee shop. Retracing his routine steps was hard when he always saw your footprints right beside his own.
It was the feeling he’d been waiting on. At last, he feels contentment in his chest. It’s all he’s ever wanted. His pulse stutters as he thinks that he might just be dreaming, but when he reaches out to touch your clasped hands, steady fingers curling over yours, he knows it’s real. You’re real. It’s pure, unadulterated sunshine splintering over his soul.
Jeongguk stands, holding out his hand for you to take. He pulls you up with care and tugs you into his embrace, warm and kind. His arms around you are safe and sound, and the gentle beat of his heart eases the noise in your mind. It’s the heart that wouldn’t quit on you, the one the angels must either admire or envy. It’s the only thing that feels okay.
One day, things will be better. It’s far away and hard to grasp, but it’s there, waiting for you. Things that are meant to be will find a way, no matter how long it takes, just as Jeongguk and you found your way to this very balcony. But for now, sharing the weight of a heavy heart soothes the lonesome burden of loss, and what it means to love.
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ceoofanticatradora · 4 years ago
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We need more anti C//A who are Adora stans (like you seem to be) so that people can understand that C///A is bad for Adora. Heck C//A is bad for Catra too, but the shippers don't seem to realize it. If Catra had been able to let Adora go maybe she could have healed instead of her festering and the abuse may have ended instead of escalated.
Hello Dear, welcome on my Blog and a big thank you for your message! Firstly I wanna apologize that this response is reaching you more than three full days, almost four later. Just real life getting into the way of my online presence (at least I got my A-Levels admission!) but I assure you that replying to you was on my To Do List the entire time. And while I could've typed something quick, I thought you deserved a full length response just as much as the person before you received. That goes for anyone really to ask/write me anything in the future.
Adora is a character that has flaws, her own interests, things she struggles with/is insecure about etc. but she also still works on being better (up to Season 5). This makes her relatable, fleshed out and overall three dimensional. Overall for me that makes Adora very likeable. Which is funny because when I first watched the show I thought of her as too goofy and felt like she as a character was overall just flat. Her character design did not speak to me either, the ponytail with the weird hair poof and these pointy shoulders of her jacket just really were not my taste. Isn't it amazing how perceptions can change?
As you can guess from that description I did not always stan Adora and she's probably still not my favorite character but over the almost two years I've been in this fandom I've grown rather fond of her. Other important characters to me are Kyle (a very relatable comfort character of mine, he learned to stand up for himself and others and I support that, f*ck Season 5 for barely acknowledging his existence), Lonnie (apart from treating Kyle badly (which I really do NOT support or excuse) I really love her, man, some women just do me like that, I mean she really stood up to Catra like that), Entrapta (I'm autistic too! It's great to have some representation, seeing the ableism/treatment she experiences in the show is not so much though), Seahawk (I don't even know why, I have some issues with his behavior towards Mermista at times but overall I love this dork), Scorpia (she reminds me of myself so much and I really wanna give her hugs, I'm so glad she chose to no longer let Catra treat her like that even though I will be forever salty she just immediately forgave her), Peekablue (I can explain this even less than Seahawk, especially since it was not even really him in the end but his existence somehow helped me cope with Season 5, without him I probably would've left this fandom ... and also my favorite color is blue) and Double Trouble (now there's enough people already critcizing how they're not exactly great Non-binary representation but this dramatic lizard will forever be in my heart, that reality check they gave Catra, basically slapping her in the face with facts was satisfying as h*ck, also I like lizards overall).
Now there's plenty of characters I like, dislike (or even hate) or am simply indifferent about but after all this is not a tier list but me talking about Adora, Catra and Catradora. Adora started off as this girl that was so sure what she was doing is right but once she was taught differently she was willing to leave everything she knew (except Catra, because she valued her despite everything) behind. And not only that, she broke out of the abuse cycle that Catra tried so hard to keep upright. And that is exactly what makes Adora such a good role model. She teaches children (or people) that:
Your past doesn't define what/who you are or what/who you can become
-> Adora used to be a Horde soldier and did not know where she came from, but nonetheless she found herself a family and became a hero that saved thousands of people
You can always change your mind and start a new life if you feel disappointed in what you are doing/who you are as a person
-> Basically the exact same point, Adora started a new life as she saw what the Horde really was and changed her mind about who to fight for
You deserve love too, be it platonic or romantic (or se*ual???) (If you're aro and/or ace just ignore the part that does not work for you)
-> While Adora for various reasons thought her only use was to please others and meet their needs and expectations (mostly due to Shadow Weaver and Catra) she learned to accept that she too deserves love and validation (if the love aspect would not have been focused on it being romantic love so she could smooch Catra in the finale this would've been a billion times better because she got love from her friends that showed her her real value)
You can walk away from something/someone, that does not make you egoistic/selfish
-> Adora walked away from the Horde, after Catra stubbornly refused to come with her despite many offers (basically Catra broke the promise, not Adora) from her too and that did not make her a "traitor" or "selfish", h*ck, Adora in the end did this for a bigger purpose too, even if part of it was her not wanting to live with such wrong morals
Your opinions, feelings etc. about a person/something can change and that is perfectly fine and valid, being able to change is part of what makes someone human
-> Adora's views on many things changed throughout the show: The Horde and the Rebellion, the First Ones, Catra, being She-Ra, herself, her priorities and so on ... she actually makes use of her brain, which is why Catra saying "Don't you ge it?" or calling her an idiot and dumb never sat right with me, she's a realistic character for shifting with her thoughts, feelings etc. and sometimes just does not fully think things through
You don't have to let other people treat you like sh*t (just because they have some issues they never worked through does not give them any right to let it out on you)
-> This point is obviously centered mostly around Catra and her abusing Adora almost every chance she gets, which is why Adora standing up for herself and not letting Catra blame her for her own decisions and mistakes is so important, "You made your choice, now live with it" is one of the most powerful lines throughout all the five Seasons
Now I'm sure there is still more to Adora's character than what I just listed and unfortunately almost all the points basically got pushed aside, well, Adora as a character got pushed aside in Season 5. All her growth, the things that made me love her, see her as great role model for so many people robbed of their value for the sake of making everything revolve around Catra. That brings me to her and how you are absolutely right that Catradora is harmful to both characters. Of course Adora is affected most by it in the end but Catra too is obviously suffering under the fandoms obsession and just the overall idea of them being romantically involved.
Just like with Adora the stans make almost everything about Catra over her relationship with Adora. She too can barely exist outside of it and if she wasn't the fan favorite she'd most likely would too be mostly in Fanarts that include Adora and not just her (if you google "Catra Fanart" most content is still Catra and Catra only but here and there Catradora still peaks through). But for whatever reason the fandom still views her more as her own person as the other ones? Catrouble and Scorptra Shippers might actually still get less hate than Glimmadora Shippers (I'm not denying they don't get any, they most certaintly do) which is just plain hypocricy and favorism. Kinda like the: A woman needs to be loyal to her husband and her husband only but if the husband wants to be active with other women that is perfectly fine because "that is just how men are" or how i like to call it ... sexism. Now in this case they are both women so it's not sexism but yo do get my point.
But much more importantly, Catra has an unhealthy obsession with Adora. Signs of that are for example:
Constantly talking about Adora, even when said person is not around (to Shadow Weaver, Scorpia etc.)
Obsessing over having control over Adora like in that one Episode "Are you kidding? I finally got control over Adora, I'm not giving that up!"
Building her entire character and her actions around Adora "We need to take Adora down", "Adora left me", "I'd rather see the whole world end than see you win!", also shown in Season 5 where she states she does save Glimmer only for Adora and not for Glimmer or to do the right thing
Getting aggressive or very emotional over Adora like clawing the wall, having nightmares etc. (destructive behavior towards herself and others)
Having no or barely any characteristics outside of her relationship with Adora like, we don't know her interests or likes and dislikes outside of being evil, obsessed with Adora, being abused by Shadow Weaver ...
Trying to force Adora to meet her needs and expectations regardless of Adora's owns
Sacrificing her oppurtunity to be happy in the Crimson Waste for the sake of her Adora obsession and being better than her at all costs
So yes, you were very right with saying that not putting Catra in a relationship with Adora would've benefited both characters. Catra could've learned to exist on her own, develop interests and a life outside of Adora. Learn to accept herself and eventually come to terms with her childhood abuse. She could've been free and not "the abusive cat girl that ended up with the person she unhealthily obsessed over to the point of no return" she kinda is now. Even if we ignore the whole "dating your long term abuser" part from Adora's side and "being rewarded" for horrible behavior, Catra alone is not giving a good example to people watching. As much as I dislike Catra, disdain her even, an ending where she is dependent on Adora, unable to stand on her own two legs after she led armies in war is not what I would wish for her, even with a decent redemption arc (that she did not get).
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tigerkirby215 · 3 years ago
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5e Akshan, the Rogue Sentinel build (League of Legends)
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(Artwork made for League of Legends by Riot Games.)
HE’S HERE HE’S HERE HESHEREHESHEREHESHEREHESHEREHESHEREHESHERE...
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It’s no secret I’ve been excited for Akshan since he was first announced; the prospect of a grappling hook champ was simply too interesting for me. Seeing him now... I’m having slight reservations? I really dislike his Scoundrel mechanic (who had “bring back Garen Villain mechanic” and “revival mechanic” on their 200 years Bingo card?) and I kinda wish the grappling hook was incorporated more into his kit but... he still seems fun? It looks like he plays like a Twitch with more of an assassin focus, and Twitch has always been a fun character. I’m probably not buying him immediately on release but I’ll grab him when he drops down to a standardized price.
But anyways I’m here to build funny grappling hook man! ...Without his grappling hook. Look I’m going to tell you right now that while there is a grappling hook in 5e there’s little way to get a grappling hook gun like Akshan has, and while I’ll do my best to provide options in this build don’t get your hopes up. If that’s enough to make you lose interest in the build I’m sorry, but I do hope you stick around to read it anyways.
GOALS
Reclaimed by the light, yade yade yada... - Reviving people in real life is hard. Reviving people in League of Legends is a little easier. Reviving people in D&D though? Pretty easy.
Stealth time! I mean, stealth time...! - You will never guess what class the character with “Rogue” in their title is.
Only one way out of this mess; skyward! - Like I said I unfortunately can’t give you a grappling hook... gun. I can still give you the grappling hook item, and ways to climb out of dangerous situations!
RACE
Akshan is human according to the lore, so feel free to leave your complaints about Variant Human at the door. You can put +1 into your Strength and Dexterity for super Akshan action! You can also grab proficiency with the Persuasion skill (because how can you say no to that smile?) and whatever language would fit as Shuriman.
Of course Variant Humans get to grab a feat at level 1, and hello Crossbow Expert my old friend! Get that double-shot passive in while also fighting up-close and dirty. Oh and not needing to reload is obviously nice.
ABILITY SCORES
15; DEXTERITY - You’re still a marksman, which of course means Dexterity for shooting.
14; CHARISMA - You fight with a roguish charm. Rules are more like guidelines really, and why follow rules if they ruin your style?
13; STRENGTH - You need strength to throw grappling hooks if your DM doesn’t give you a proper grappling hook gun. Also carrying reobtained loot from warlords is nice.
12; CONSTITUTION - Even if you’re a squishy marksman / assassin having health is still a good thing.
10; WISDOM - You picked a few too many fights with bad people, but you’ve still got a good heart.
8; INTELLIGENCE - Grappling hooks are cool and all but attaching a grappling hook to an ancient relic used to vanquish a prophesized evil isn’t the brightest plan, and ignoring that prophesized evil for your own personal vengeance quest isn’t a good idea either.
Feel free to swap Strength and Constitution if you want better health but worse grappling hook tosses.
BACKGROUND
Akshan was an Urchin before being saved by Shadya. You get proficiency with Stealth and Slight of Hand as well as some tools, but I’d honestly suggest replacing them with Jeweler's Tools and Leatherworker’s Tools to keep your outfit in check. (Mostly because you get Thieves’ Tools from your class and won’t need a Disguise Kit.)
As a Shuriman kid you know all of the City Secrets. When you are not in combat, you can lead your allies through the city twice as fast as your speed would normally allow. Being a street kid does give you some valuable knowledge!
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(Artwork made for Legends of Runeterra by Riot Games.)
THE BUILD
LEVEL 1 - ROGUE 1
Wow who would’ve guessed the character with “Rogue” in their title is a Rogue?! As a Rogue you get proficiency in Acrobatics, Athletics, Insight, and Deception. But feel free to swap it up to make your own Akshan! You can also get Expertise in Acrobatics for rope-swinging tricks, and Stealth to hunt down scoundrels!
When you find the scoundrels deliver swift Comeuppance with a Sneak Attack! If you have advantage or fight dirty with an ally near the enemy you can do an extra d6 of damage with your shot! And to top it off you’ve spent enough times in the streets of Shurima to know how scoundrels talk and can use Thieves’ Cant to trick them that you’re one of them, or can listen to scoundrels talking to know when to stop them.
LEVEL 2 - ROGUE 2
Second level Rogues can opt not to attack and instead use a Cunning Action to Dash, Disengage, or Hide as a Bonus Action. “To the shadows; where the scoundrels hide!”
LEVEL 3 - ROGUE 3
Third level Rogues get to choose their Roguish Archetype, and to get the ability to swing around on ropes the Thief is about as good as you’re going to get. That’s because Second-Story Work makes it so climbing ropes doesn’t cost extra movement, and also lets you jump further if you have a running start. In addition you have Fast Hands, allowing you to use your Cunning Action to make a Sleight of Hand check, use your thieves’ tools to disarm a trap or open a lock, or take the “Use an Object” action.
Now here’s the thing about using your grappling hook: most DMs would consider throwing a Grappling Hook to be a “Use an Object” action. So as a Bonus Action you can throw your grappling hook and then use your climbing speed to climb up the rope, as if you were grappling upwards! Of course talk to your DM if that’s okay, but if they let it happen you’ve practically got a flying speed at level 3! As long as there’s walls to grapple on, at least. “Akshan, away!”
And to top it off your Sneak Attack also increase to 2d6.
LEVEL 4 - ROGUE 4
Feel free to skip your first ASI if you want some Sentinel abilities first, but I consider Dexterity more important for a Rogue. More shooting, more AC, and better stealth!
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(Artwork made for Riot Games.)
LEVEL 5 - WARLOCK 1
The Light Sentinels are a powerful, ancient entity who gave you powers in exchange for a set of rules. Just because the one who signed you up is dead and you don’t really follow the rules doesn’t mean you can’t still use their powers! But truthfully I just wanted a Charisma caster and you all know how much I love Warlock. Naturally powers against darkness and undead would be Celestial in nature! While you normally use The Absolver’s Healing Light to revive people healing is also useful. You have a pool of d6s equal to your Warlock level plus one. As a bonus action you can heal a creature you can see within 60 feet of you, spending dice from the pool. The maximum number of dice you can spend at once equals your Charisma modifier. Roll the dice you spend, add them together, and restore a number of hit points equal to the total. You regain all expended dice when you finish a long rest.
In addition as a Celestial Warlock you get Bonus Cantrips like the Light cantrip to see with your dumb human eyes as well as Sacred Flame cantrip to deliver Comeuppance! And of course to get cantrips you also get Pact Magic! You learn two cantrips from the Warlock list like Prestidigitation to be cool and flashy, and Mage Hand which can help you with your... legitimate business.
You can also learn two first level spells like Guiding Bolt and Cure Wounds, straight from the Celestial List! Mark a foe as a scoundrel and keep your friends alive and well! “Go; and die no more.”
LEVEL 6 - WARLOCK 2
Second level Warlocks get Eldritch Invocations: normally you get two but we’re only going to take one for now. But which one? Mage Armor is the best AC you’re going to get until you get magic armor which means that Armor of Shadows could be good, but Mask of Many Faces will let you choose your outfits however you please, and keep them from getting dirty! Basically I’m leaving you with a choice: if you want better AC but worse infiltration go for Armor of Shadows. Alternatively if you want the ability to sneak around in plain sight then Mask of Many Faces is a good choice for you!
You could also learn another Warlock spell but we’re going to wait for...
LEVEL 7 - WARLOCK 3
Third level Warlocks get their Pact Boon, and while the Absolver isn’t quite a “blade” Pact of the Blade is still the boon related to using cool ancient relic weapons! If you want to upgrade Pact of the Blade into “Pact of the Blade and also Sentinel Weapons” take Improved Pact Weapon.
Now here’s where I’m going to have to tell you to homebrew with your DM a little: for whatever reason Improved Pact Weapon lets you summon a shortbow, longbow, light crossbow, or heavy crossbow. Notice that there’s no Hand Crossbow on that list. This (technically) means that you can’t summon a Hand Crossbow, even if you take the Invocation tax for Improved Pact Weapon. Pact of the Blade does let you bind to any weapon... as long as its magical, and the lowest level magical Hand Crossbow you can get is either a +1 Hand Crossbow or a Crossbow of Warning. (Both good items to have but not necessarily something you’ll find in your adventures.) In short the official rules don’t let you have a Hand Crossbow.
Honestly I see no reason why you can’t have a Pact Hand Crossbow, but if your DM’s a stickler about it you can survive with either a Heavy Crossbow or a Longbow. (Depending on your preference.) If your DM doesn’t allow you to use a Hand Crossbow take Sharpshooter as your level 1 feat instead of Crossbow Expert, as you’ll get more use out of it.
tl;dr talk to your DM about letting Improved Pact Weapon let you summon a Hand Crossbow. If they say no edit the build with that in mind.
Anyways you can also learn more spells like Invisibility to sneak around, and Misty Step for good ol’ Flash.
LEVEL 8 - WARLOCK 4
4th level Warlocks can get an Ability Score Improvement... or a Feat! It would be easier just to grab Eldritch Adept now and talk about which Invocation you’ll use it for next level.
You can prepare another spell at this level at least, and also learn another cantrip! For your cantrip Minor Illusion can be used to make distractions while sneaking, and Mirror Image is a good spell to keep alive.
There are other spells you can take instead if you so desire. Lesser Restoration from the Celestial list is never bad to have, and Darkness can be used as a Smoke Bomb which you can’t see through with your dumb human eyes. And of course there’s the obviously good spells like Hold Person or Shatter. I’m trying to build what’s most accurate to Akshan, as well as what I believe would be the most useful. Feel free to change the build as you wish.
LEVEL 9 - WARLOCK 5
5th level Warlocks get more invocations like Thirsting Blade for a bit more attack speed with your Absolver. You can also cash in that Eldritch Adept Invocation to take One With Shadows, to hide in the shade of a wall until it’s time to surprise your foes! “That’s right; it is I!”
And finally we’ve got our revive! Take Revivify to bring someone back from the dead, as long as it was fairly recent. And the best part is you don’t even need to kill the person who killed them! But you will need a lot of diamonds, which can get expensive. “Dear friends: please stop dying. Love, Akshan.”
There’s several other third level spells you could potentially take (notably Thunder Step which might be a good replacement for Misty Step if you don’t mind throwing stealth out the window) but it’s up to you to take them.
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(Artwork by @Tsvetyaa on Twitter.)
LEVEL 10 - ROGUE 5
Now that you’ve got the Sentinel part down it’s time to hone your Roguish skills! 5th level Rogues can use their reaction for an Uncanny Dodge, halving the damage from an attack they saw coming. In addition your Sneak Attack increases to 3d6.
LEVEL 11 - ROGUE 6
6th level Rogues get Expertise in two more skills: Deception and Persuasion would be useful to charm your way out of danger.
LEVEL 12 - ROGUE 7
7th level Rogues can swing out of danger with Evasion: if you make a Dexterity saving throw and succeed, you take no damage! And even if you fail you only take half damage! Oh and your Sneak Attack is now 4d6. “Consider yourself, absolved.”
LEVEL 13 - ROGUE 8
8th level Rogues get an Ability Score Improvement: let’s cap off that Dexterity to be the best shot you can be!
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(Artwork made for League of Legends by Riot Games.)
LEVEL 14 - ROGUE 9
9th level Thief Rogues can never be found as long as they’re careful. Supreme Sneak gives you advantage on Stealth checks if you move no more than half your speed on your turn. This has insane synergy with One With Shadows as you can turn invisible and then get advantage on stealth (because for some reason being invisible doesn’t do that.) And of course if you go slow and steady you can sneak around just about anything, which is great for when you pop out to do 5d6 Sneak Attack damage! “Ha! I have you now!”
LEVEL 15 - ROGUE 10
Rogues get a few extra Ability Score Improvements... one extra, to be precise. But that means you can bump up your Charisma to be better at socialization and all that Warlock stuff.
LEVEL 16 - ROGUE 11
11th level Rogues get Reliable Talent, meaning the lowest you can roll on a skill you’re proficient in is 10. I always like to go through your skills when you get this ability to show what the bare minimum you can roll is, so...
27 on Acrobatics or Stealth
25 on Deception or Persuasion
21 on Slight of Hand
18 on Athletics
16 on Insight
And your Sneak Attack is now 6d6. What fun!
LEVEL 17 - ROGUE 12
12th level Rogues get yet another Ability Score Improvement, which of course means more Charisma!
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(Artwork made for Legends of Runeterra by Riot Games.)
LEVEL 18 - ROGUE 13
13th level Thief Rogues can use any Sentinel weapon they reacquisition thanks to Use Magic Device. You ignore all class, race, and level requirements on the use of magic items, letting you have fun with whatever toys you find. And when all else fails your Absolver now packs a 7d6 Sneak Attack!
LEVEL 19 - ROGUE 14
14th level Rogues are so good at sneaking they can catch the sneakers! You have a 10 foot Blindsense to know if anyone’s hiding near you.
LEVEL 20 - ROGUE 15
Our final level is the 15th level of Rogue for Slippery Mind... You get proficiency in Wisdom saving throws. That’s it. Well how’s about 8d6 Sneak Attack as a final sendoff?
FINAL BUILD
PROS
I’ve got something for you! It’s... comeuppance - Three shots with a Hand Crossbow means three chances to apply your 8d6 Sneak Attack! Akshan is all about burst and burst people down you can certainly do!
Sometimes I even sneak up on myself - Supreme Sneak, One With Shadows, and the Invisibility spell will help you move around in the shadows without being spotted. And even without that you have a minimum 27 Stealth roll thanks to Reliable Talent!
You are reclaimed. Go! Live! - It obviously goes without saying but a little bit of healing helps a lot in the long run. Everyone can appreciate a pick me up.
CONS
You try to rest and some lowlife kills one of your palls! - You have a lot more limited resources than the average Warlock as your Healing Light only comes back after a Long Rest. What’s more is that most of your spells are utility based so it might be hard to get use out of the renewable nature of Warlock spell slots. And to top it off Revivify is expensive! So you’d best be ready to spend a lot of diamonds.
I live by my own code: don’t be an ass - Your Charisma unfortunately isn’t maxed out, which means your Warlock abilities aren’t maxed out. But you don’t really need maxed out Charisma as most of your spells are utility based... I’m just saying Sharpshooter is an option.
Shadya would approve of this... I think - You missed out on level 17 of Thief Rogue which means you don’t get arguably one of the strongest Rogue abilities in the game: Thief’s Reflexes. If you’re not going to get to level 20 anytime soon I think that this build is quite good but if you’re going to get to a high level maybe ditch the revives? (It’s more than likely that Cleric can do it better.)
But you’re enough of a hero without the super-awesome relic weapon that can bring people back from the dead; that’s just an added bonus... as is the grappling hook! Use your natural awesomeness to sneak up your foes and then use your legitimately-obtained weapons-of-mass-absolution to vanquish any scoundrel in your way! And if a depressed ghost king comes knocking tell him that the maximum time limit on your revives expired. “Silly Viego, we can’t bring back those we’ve lost. I mean, I can. But not you.”
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(Artwork made for Legends of Runeterra by Riot Games.)
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dathen · 4 years ago
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The ableism towards Jon is also why I kinda hate the "Jon is stupid" joke, like yeah Jon has made some dumb choices. (Which are actually mostly tied to impulsivity rather than lack of intelligence but I digress.) Now its gone from "why'd you smash that table my guy" to "haha Jon is socially awkward what an idiot" and its... yikes.
(Oh boy I have a whole tag dedicated to that discussion because I figured people might want to blacklist it.)
It’s funny because the Q&A’s literally say “stupid protagonists are one of our least favorite horror tropes” and “we’re more interested in exploring the real effects of trauma and mental health, and having characters react realistically when they’ve been through so much vs having them ~go insane~”  So you get characters (not just Jon) making terrible choices that are deeply rooted in trauma responses, PTSD, and self-destructive tendencies.  Like I’m sure most of us were like NOOO JON THAT’S A STUPID DECISION NOOOOO, but then looking back in that context, we can see what led to them.  That’s honestly one of my favorite things about The Magnus Archives as a whole; it’s so rare to let characters be affected by their trauma, and it’s so rare when that’s allowed to manifest in ugly and messy ways vs. just “this character is extra sad now.”  
But send it through the “flatten everything into a joke” machine and you get weirdness like “Jon’s trauma responses are him being stupid, the girls’ trauma responses are them being badass.”  A perfect example is Basira and Jon charging off to Ny-Ålesund.  In the text you have dialogue exploring in detail how it’s a trauma response for both of them:
Not like there’s normal trauma, you know?  But it’s pretty common.  The most important thing becomes control, engaging on your own terms.  Even when it’s stupid or dangerous.  Anything to not feel helpless.
And then I keep! seeing! posts!  About how Jon’s an idiot for charging off, and it’s good Basira is there to ~be the brain cell~ and keep him on her leash!  Which both dismisses that Basira is also traumatized and erases her complexity, but is just downright nasty about Jon’s mental health.  
....WHICH, BACK TO YOUR ASK, I can see how that spread to that character as a whole , and how much it lends to the “Jon is so stupid and deserves to be bullied for it and all his smarter friends laugh about it” trends.  I remember Jon’s obliviousness about relationships or Martin liking him was mostly received at first as “haha, what an ace mood, I can never tell when people are together or when they have a crush on me either.”  It’s such a huge jolt on both an ace and aro level to see how it’s become “Jon’s so stupid, of course Melanie and Georgie are together, why would Georgie help Melanie recover if they weren’t dating??”  Can we please go back to the ace culture jokes!!  Why is “[character] is such a stupid idiot” humor so popular anyway??
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all1e23 · 5 years ago
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Between the Stars [Pt.5]
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Pairings: Past!Steve x Reader, Bucky x  Reader
Series warnings: CHARACTER DEATH. Grief. Overall sadness. Depression. It’s pretty angsty if I’m being honest. Things mellow out as the series goes on. TW: Military/Spouse death
A/N:  This Chapter is mostly a flashback to when Steve and the reader started dating.  Thanks to my @moonbeambucky​ for looking this chapter over for me and making me sound less dumb. If you like it write a book report, sing me a song or come scream at me. Remember not to judge everyone too harshly till all the secrets come out. ;-)
***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!****
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It was awkward, to say the least. 
You’ve never really been this… touchy with Steve. Bucky sure, but he’s always been a little handsy with you. Bucky was that way with everyone, really. Even Steve. His arm was always slung over Steve’s shoulders, or he was ruffling his hair. Bucky kept his shoulder jammed up against Sam’s through all their bickering, so it never seemed strange when he took your hand or pressed a kiss to your forehead. Had you hoped it meant something different? Something more than what it meant with everyone else? Yes. 
Well, no. Or maybe you did. 
You wanted the chance to see if you wanted all those lingering, seemingly platonic kisses and soft brushes of the hand to mean more. 
They didn’t appear to mean more to Bucky, and you weren’t sure that they ever really meant something to you, but Steve’s kiss? That meant something. You couldn't deny the spark or the way your stomach turned upside down, your desperation when he broke the kiss. It was unexpected and breathtaking. You could still feel the heat of his hand wrapped around yours and the sweet taste of marshmallow on his lips. 
It wasn’t like any kiss you had before, and you doubted any other could make you feel this… whole. 
Steve’s truck felt small tonight as he pulled up to the drive-in, it was one of the only few left, but they had the best cheese fries for thirty miles (or so you said), and you thought fewer eyes watching you would lead to less pressure. It didn’t hurt that the place was cute as hell. It’s been around since the 50's, and they hadn’t updated much. The round building was still painted a bright seafoam green, and the pink neon lights got regular maintenance, but the menu was still on the same cement and metal stand on the driver’s side of every parking space. The intercom was still an old school microphone, and while the staff no longer came out on skates, they did have the same old red trays they would stick to windows back in the day. 
The call button to order was on Steve’s side next to the blue and white menu, which hadn’t changed much over the decades. The same classics were listed, cheeseburger, hot dog, and milkshakes. Onion rings and chili cheese fries, of course, made an appearance, and rootbeer floats were always 50 cents. Steve double checked with you before he ordered two things of cheese fries (you didn’t share, and he knew this) and two milkshakes, staying in his own seat once he was done. He made no move to pull you closer or take your hand, the pang of disappointment that crashed into your chest surprised you. This wasn’t something new because you kissed, it was always like this, and you shouldn’t be upset. You never shared the same side of a booth when you went out to eat, and you usually didn’t give it much thought. Bucky always sat with you, and Sam sat next to Steve. If it was just the three of you, you would sit across from the boys claiming you wanted to see them both, or you would sit in the backseat of the truck and let the boys share the front.
In reality, you never wanted either of them to feel like you had a favorite. 
You watched as Steve ran a hand through his hair, pushing his bangs back out of his eyes only to have them flop right back. You laughed at the sight and Steve blushed when he met your gaze, he smiled in return and glanced down at his lap. He was nervous, and he should be. This was new territory for you both, and if you let it, if something went wrong, it could destroy your relationship with Steve and possibly with Bucky and even Sam. It wasn’t something either of you should take lightly because if you were going down this road, you needed to be one hundred percent that kiss wasn’t a one time fluke. 
The hum of the radio was interrupted by a low, scratchy buzz, and Steve reached over to spin the dial to find a station that came in a little clearer. You watched his long, thick fingers mess with the dial, finally giving up and pressing the square button for whatever tape was in to play, and you couldn’t help but shiver at the thought of how they felt against your skin. Steve noticed your tremble and asked if you were cold, you nodded and allowed him to think so. It was less embarrassing to say you were cold than to admit you were picturing the way the small calluses on his fingers tickled your skin and wondering what they would feel like other places. 
You quivered again, and Steve turned the AC off, rolled the windows down, letting the warm summer air quickly consume the cab, and you were grateful. At least this way, if he finally touched you, you could blame the heat of your skin on the hot air. 
“I’m sorry if…” Steve’s soft apology made you look over, but Steve was avoiding looking at you. “I’m sorry if that, before. The kiss, I mean. I’m sorry if that was--” 
You didn’t have to be a mind reader to know what he wanted to say but didn’t dare to say out loud. I’m sorry if I was overstepping. I’m sorry if that wasn’t something you wanted. 
Steve shook his head clearly giving up on what he wanted to say, he took a chance and looked up, offering an apologetic smile even though he had nothing to be sorry for. You slowly slid across the old worn leather seats into the middle, so you were touching hips. He looked confused, a little nervous, and the slight twinkle in his eye said hopeful? You shrugged in explanation and settled back against his chest, so you were tucked in the crook of his arm, Steve’s arm was resting on the back of the seat to make room for you.  
“I like it better over here. Warmer,” you murmured in a quiet confession.
You watched Steve’s hand leave the beige-colored seat, and come forward to grip your chin between his thumb and forefinger, and he untucked your head from his chest where you were hiding your face letting head fell back towards him, and if the steering wheel hadn’t been there your head would have ended up in his lap. Steve stared at you for a few minutes, his thumb brushed over your bottom lip, and he just watched you. His eyes traveled to your lips when they parted slightly at the feel of his thumb grazing over them for the second time. There was no hesitation or uncertainty in Steve, just like at the lake. Steve’s thumb dropped onto your chin, pulling just enough to keep your lips parted, he dipped his head down to sneak a taste of something sweet before he had his supper and hummed happily when you tilted your head back silently asking for more. 
Steve was grinning when he very reluctantly pulled away from your lips; he didn’t want to, but the intercom buzzed to let them know their food was incoming, and he didn’t want someone to see you like that. You may not be his girl, but your red swollen lips and heavy-lidded eyes weren’t something he wanted everyone to see. A soft kiss landed on the tip of your nose, and he helped you settle back against him. 
“Can I take you out this week?” Steve asked, confident, and unwavering. 
He must have felt the spark in his heart, too. 
“Yes,” you breathed, heart-pounding and fingers trembling. 
There was no snappy response or snarky comment. You could barely get out a simple three-letter word, let alone make some witty comeback. His arms dropped around your waist, and as if he couldn’t keep them from seeking you out, his lips brushed against your forehead, just as the waitress skipped to the window with that old plastic tray to snap to the window. When you made a move to give Steve space to eat, his arm only tightened on your hip as he glanced down at you. You hadn’t realized you had slipped down in the seat until Steve had to tilt his head down to meet your eyes, which asked what you wanted to do. If you wanted to get up, he would let you, but the hold he had on your waist said he wanted you to stay right where you were
So you relaxed against him, and Steve grinned, that easy, sweet Steve grin you’ve always found more charming than he did. Steve passed over the cardboard container that held your fries and styrofoam cup filled with your drink of choice -- a chocolate strawberry milkshake. You pulled your knees up and set the fries on your lap like some sort of makeshift table, examining the fries in front of you, and you could practically hear Steve's eye roll when he spoke. 
“Yes, I gave you the one with the most cheese. This isn’t my first time taking you for cheese fries, Y/n.” 
You grinned. 
No, it wasn’t the first time, and you had a feeling it would be happening more often. 
“As long as you know the rules of taking me out, Rogers.” 
You felt his lips brush against your forehead, and he whispered against your flushed skin, “I think I can handle any rules you give me as long as I can get you to kiss me like that again.” 
A faint smirk pulled across your face. If Steve kept saying things like that there was a good chance his lips would the last you kissed.  
--
Six weeks it’s been since summer heat and milkshakes and kisses. 
You’ve been dating… Er, well, sorta dating Steve for six weeks now. You weren’t exclusive even though he made it a point to tell you he had no intention of dating anyone but you; there had been no official talk, no declaration of what you two were. It was six weeks of going on dates without the pressure of labels, and you didn’t mind. Steve told you that first night, after several chocolate laced kisses at your front door, he wanted to take things slow and see the natural path your relationship took. He didn’t want to force anything, and Steve knew just as well as you did that it was important for you and your friendship to move at a slower than normal pace. 
And you liked Steve attempting to court you -- his words. 
Steve always brought flowers when he picked you up for a date, he stood in the hallway and talked to your dad for as long as your dad wanted, always adding a yes sir, at the end of everything he said. He was sweet. Steve was careful with his words and affection, mindful that everything he said and did would have a lasting impact on whatever you became. The way he held your hand was delicate. You didn’t have much to compare it to, you hadn’t dated all that much, and the only person who held your hand this much was Bucky. It was different though, Bucky always slid his hand down your arm and laced your fingers together when he finally reached your palm, clinging to your touch. Steve was tentative when he reached for you, not because he was nervous or unsure. He was very sure in his touches with you now, but it was as if he was giving you time to adjust and decide if you wanted your hand to be held. 
You always did. You liked holding his hand. It was warm and sure, even though only your fingers tangled around each other, your palms usually never touched, and somehow there was still that sense of security. You liked it, and you liked Steve. There were things you were feeling for Steve that you didn’t think you could feel for anyone, let alone someone who’s been right there in front of you for as long as you could remember. 
It was weird, but a good kind of weird. The kind that gave you butterflies and made you want for things you didn’t think you deserved and as much as it scared you to admit, you were falling in love with Steve. 
“So you and Steve, huh? I gotta say, I never saw that coming.”  
You glanced up from you the keys of your piano and met Bucky’s gaze across your room; it was silly how just the mention of his name had your heart pounding. Steve was helping his mom with some work around the house today, so when Bucky called saying he missed you and wanted to see you, you jumped at the chance to spend time together. You weren’t sure how many more days things would be like this. No one was stupid enough to think things would stay the same once you and Steve-- Well, once he was yours, and you were his. 
It would change everything. Forever. 
“Um, yeah… I think anyway. I don’t know for sure how he feels... It’s still new, and he may not be thinking. Are you okay with it? I know, this kind of changes things. Between us.” 
No longer a threesome, but a couple and a best friend. 
Bucky fumbled with the pen in his hand and shrugged a shoulder. He was upset that much was clear, but you didn’t know if he was upset that you were possible dating Steve and taking away his best friend or because you didn’t talk to him first. Admittedly, you knew you had messed up there. You should have talked to Bucky and made sure he was okay with it, he was your friend first and Steve’s, and here you were creating cracks in the foundation of everything the three of you built. 
“If it’s what you want, what I think shouldn’t matter.”
You narrowed your eye at that lame attempt to avoid telling you what he was feeling, and Bucky quickly tossed the pen onto the table in dramatic fashion and rolled his eyes. “It’s fine. It really is. You’ve been smiling a lot lately, and I’m guessin’ that has to do with Steve, so it’s good. I like seeing you happy.” 
Steve did make you happy, and you were happy to hear Bucky wanted you happy, but you knew it wasn’t the whole story. He was upset over something, and you knew Bucky well enough to know he wouldn’t tell you unless he had to. So, for now, you would let it drop. Your fingers danced on the keys as you eyed Bucky; his face was blank, refusing to give you what you wanted, so you finally huffed and dropped your hand into your lap. 
“Well, good, because I don’t need your permission, you know?” 
Bucky chuckled at the false annoyance in your voice, and you relaxed once you saw him smiling. “Yeah, I know, Trouble. “ 
You stuck your tongue out at him in response. That nickname was getting old. It was his fault the two of you get into trouble all the time anyway, no matter what he said. If he had any sense at all, he would stop encouraging your crazy shenanigans, but you had a feeling he liked you being his Trouble, and you were okay with that. You let your eyes drift back the keys in front of you, trying to find a melody, but your thoughts couldn’t be bothered with notes at the moment. You stared at the sheet music and gnawed on your bottom lip, tossing Bucky’s words around your head and wondering if Steve did feel the way you did. Yes, he liked you and really liked kissing you, but did he have the same jump in his heart at the thought of loving you forever? 
Bucky sighed, and because he knew that look well, he told you with absolute certainty. “I wouldn’t worry about Steve not feeling whatever it is you’re feeling. I think he’s, uh, I think he’s been feeling that for a long time but kept it to himself.” 
Your brows pinched together, but you didn’t take your eyes off the sheet in front of you. None of that made sense. If he felt anything close to what you felt for him, you have no idea how he could have ever held back. 
“But why?” 
Bucky shrugged, rubbed the back of his head thoughtfully, and gave an answer that you knew he had reason to believe was true for whatever reason he wasn’t going to share. 
“I dunno. Think he thought it was breaking some friend code, and he wanted to make sure it was the right decision before following through.” 
"What friend code could he possibly be breaking by taking me out on a few dates?" 
Bucky cleared his throat and shrugged, dropping his gaze to the empty pile of words glaring back at him.
“I’m pretty sure he’s in love with you, and if he isn’t, well, he’s an idiot.” 
He wanted to say more, but you saw the moment his brain told him to stop, forbid him to say another word on the matter. You probably should have pressed more, asked him why he would say that, but your phone vibrated on the bench to you, and the name that popped up on your screen stole your attention just like he did with your heart. 
--
Present 
The sound of Steve’s truck pulling into the driveway made your skin prickle with excitement. You had missed Bucky while he was gone. It’s been three months since Bucky came home, and there’s been little time you spent without him in that time, so hearing him pulling up the gravel road in Steve’s truck helped ease the anxiety from this afternoon. You supposed the truck was Bucky’s now, you didn’t want to drive it, and Bucky only had his bike back at his mom’s, so he needed a vehicle. Plus, he deserved a little piece of Steve. You glanced out your bedroom window and frowned when you saw Sam and a large bright green tarp covering something in the bed. 
You quickly closed the curtain, not wanting to see anyone else but Bucky today. It hadn’t been a good day. It was nice to see Natasha and attempt to be a regular person, like the way you were before, but it was forced, and the performance left you exhausted. There were stilted moments and awkward chuckles derived from weak jokes meant to make you feel “normal.” It only made you miss Steve. You missed everything about him and the life you had before. You missed the way he held you, the feel of his breath on the back of your neck while you slept, and every time you closed your eyes, you saw him as if he was still right there with you. 
After all these months and you hadn't moved on. 
Sam was a liar; he was a liar, it didn’t get better, and you didn’t have it in you to fake it for him today. 
So, you stayed hidden away in your bedroom, curtains drawn and the door locked. If they thought you were sleeping, neither would dare wake you, they both worry about your lack of sleep so they wouldn’t ruin what little rest they thought you were getting. You pressed your ear to the door, and you picked up their voices as they carried something heavy inside, maybe it was something for Bucky’s room. 
“She’s not going to like this.” 
Sam sounded nervous, which was strange. 
“You don’t know her like I do.”
“She’s going to kill you.” 
“Just shut up and lift with your legs. I’m over here doing all the heavy lifting. How come I got the heavy side?”
You didn’t listen to Sam’s response. You knew they would bicker back and forth a few times before they worked it out. It wasn’t long after that, the front door shut, and you rushed to peek out the window only to find Sam leaving in Steve’s-- Bucky’s truck. Bucky must have picked him this morning, or he sent Sam off to get something for whatever it was they carried inside.
Now that Sam was gone, you could take the chance to sneak downstairs and see what the hell they put in your house. You quietly pulled your door open just enough to sneak through, slowly tiptoeing downstairs and round the corner into the living room. Bucky was standing there wiping off-- Your piano. What you assumed was your old piano anyway, Bucky was running a microfiber rag over some smudges on the top (you once yelled at him for using anything else for fear of scratches). What in the hell was going on? Bucky slowly turned around to find you watching him and smirked as if he expected to see you standing there. He tossed the rag on the floor and wiped his sweaty hands off on his jeans. Your eyes fell onto the instrument, and you tried to see if it was really yours without getting any closer. Sure enough, there was a scratch on the back edge matching the one Bucky and Steve created, and the slightly color off keys smiling back at you. 
You knew if you looked underneath there, your initials would sit. 
How Bucky managed to find it, you have no idea, but you wouldn’t be surprised to find out how much trouble he caused simply to bring it back to you. 
“Hey there, Trouble. Sorry, I’m late. I had to make a stop.” 
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