#as always i love the vs design he's so scary

[beefy-the-stronk]

Oh god it's so much red skdjsjd

Anyways here's the huge freak that brought back a lot of my art Mojo. I had a bit of block but this sorta helped me get out of it VuV

Oh Vs Pepper, they could never make me hate you 😩

[winwintea]

nct vs haunted house (who you picking to go with you?)

pairing ↬ ot25 nct (127, dream, wayv, wish)

tags ↬ cussing, i roast everyone (sorry not sorry)

author’s note ↬ very lax and lazy shitpost. can y'all pretend like i posted this before november 1st to spare me the embarrassment and shame, thanks. also in no apparent order so you might have to dig for your member. this is the first time i've posted for all the members... also only seen the wayv and dream haunted house videos so it might not be fully accurate.

sakuya

nah why the hell would you pick him. this shit is gonna make a bolt for it and leave you alone inside to defend for yourself. if it's a haunted house walkthrough, he's gonna speedrun it and save himself, not you. if it's a horror escape room he's probably gonna get jumpscared, but will distract himself by laughing at you. NOT HELPFUL AT ALL, somehow manages to break everything. (0/10 partner, made me cry afterwards. this is why i hate children /j)

winwin

you've got like a 50/50 chance of surviving this thing. winwin's scared out of his wits when it comes to haunted houses, but in an actual stressful situation he thinks very logically. given the right circumstance, he doesn't make dumb choices, and can actually progress through the haunted house fairly easy. his only flaw is that when he gets jumpscared he has extreme reactions and always is on the floor. (6/10 partner, just make sure he isn't pulling you to the ground as well.)

haechan

no sane person would pick him, are you okay? i mean he's kinda unpredictable. either cackling and laughing his ass off or sobbing or straight faced the whole time. when he's scared he demands to be carried, like tf? thought you were supposed to protect me. whatever. actually kinda smart and helpful though like if you're lucky you two can get out just fine. (7/10 partner, because at least he isn't gonna leave you alone to die, you'll die together.)

doyoung

get ready for snarky comments on everything, "i wonder if these people are getting paid minimun wage." or "whoever designed this place needs to go to jail why is everything so ugly looking." he's a NERVOUS WRECK though. starts yapping when he's scared. telling the scare actors to "wait pls" (they won't love you like i love you) they don't listen to him though... very tense, movements are stiff, he has like a 25% chance of actually being helpful. (2.5/10 partner, someone tell him to move faster.)

jaehyun

you picked the nonchalant king himself! he'd probably be a bit scared, maybe a few jerks or flinches from the jumpscares, but nothing too bad. probably laughs at the actors or at the situation, but it's not a mocking laugh. very helpful and you'll definitely make it out of there alive! if you're easily scared no worries! he'll be fine carrying you if he has to. give yourself a pat on the back, you picked well. (10/10 partner i have no complaints)

jisung

someone save this poor baby and you because you two are also not making it out alive today. not very loud screams, but oh my god he clutches his chest and bucks his knees like he's heard the worst news of his life. 15,000 mental breakdowns in the span of a minute. asks random obvious questions and is curious about everything. he's too lost in his own head and thoughts to be really helpful, plus he's too scared to try anything so you really aren't progressing further unless you lock in. (2/10 partner, i love you ji but i gotta survive)

riku

honey idk who lied to you but riku is not brave at all. another stumbler, he's tripping all over the place, sometimes you wonder whether it's on purpose or not. no cause this man spends more time on the floor then actually on his feet. when he's collected himself and believes that there's no reason to be scaried he's gonna aegyo his ass off. which doesn't work lol. might as well use him as a meat shield atp. (3/10 partner, good meat shield /j)

yushi

also a 50/50. very very very helpful and knowledgeable when it comes to solving clues and mysteries. but when it comes to progressing forward and interacting with the scare actors he's not in his element. asks "who's there" as if anyone would answer. also in denial half of the time, "oh it's not that sc- AHJH SHHHH-" runs around and clings to something, probably your arm. (7/10 partner, just the two of us, we can make it if we try! )

hendery

i asked to survive not a distraction for my fears and worries. why is bro singing???? we're supposed to be working and solving the puzzles, no more distractions pls!! he's going to terrorize you just because it's funny, but i'm in a haunted house NOT A COMEDY CLUB. when it comes to solving clues he cooks dogshit!! nobody let him back into a haunted house thanks! (0/10 partner, i need the scare actor to mercy kill me atp)

chenle

why. you know better than to pick him. 100% will scream as loud as he can and sacrifice you in -119 seconds. laughing mess. he's like sakuya and will leave you to fend for yourself. he dngaf. will also terrorize you because it's "funny". unless it's a competition he will not help you at all and pretends like he's helping but he's not doing anything except goofing around. try again. (-143/100 partner, except he doesn't love you like in the skz song)

johnny

you make it out of there purely off of johnny’s dumbass luck. i’m serious. as soon as he’s jump-scared he puts his hands up and turns around like “helll naahhhh” and then he starts scolding the scare actor like he’s their dad ???? or something ?? why the fuck did this turn into a big ass therapy session about how the scare actor could turn their life around and use their talents for something more rewarding in life? (9/10 partner, you only make it out of there because the scare actor tearfully tells you the answers to all the clues and promises johnny he’ll work on bettering himself.)

kun

if you thought his leader mode self would activate you are wrong. completely wrong. first of all he TRIES to act calm and mature, but fails miserably. also he forces you to do everything, go first, because bro is ACTUALLY A COWARD ISTG. at least he's pretty decent at solving problems, but when he gets jump-scared he's too terrified to function, like if was by himself he would get himself killed. (-4/10 partner, i asked for a good partner not a manchild)

yuta

going with the other non-chalant king is also a fairly good choice! except he's even more unbothered and unfazed than jaehyun, you're wondering if you should be more scared of him than the actors. feel bad for the actors though like they get a kick out of scaring people and he's just like "heh. that's funny" not very helpful with puzzles though so you might have to do that yourself! (8/10 partner, you'll probably survive, but you'll do most of the work unfortunately.)

renjun

i think the only other person you could pick that's worse than him on this list is taeyong. CONSTANTLY CLINGING TO YOUR ARM. savagely trying to crack jokes but is scared out of his wits for sure. he's okay with solving clues, renjun is smart, just don't pressure or tease him or he might actually snap. honestly just don't pick renjun to be your partner. (-127/10 partner, why are we still here? just to suffer?)

taeyong

you are 100 percent getting killed today !! congratulations !! or maybe you wanted that? poor bubu was not cut out for this line of work okay. he screams the loudest screams you've ever heard, does not function normally after the first scare. you could've picked anyone else and maybe you would've had a 99.99% chance of dying instead of 100. (-553/10 partner, PICK BETTER PLEASE. i'm so fucking mad /hj)

ten

he's a runner he's a track star !! he's literally a cat. what else did you expect? him to not be a scaredy cat? when u call him out for being unhelpful or too scared he'll gaslight tf out of you. he'll also deflect and start saying everything you're doing wrong as if you aren't the ONLY PERSON DOING ANYTHING AT ALL?? “stop pushing me” EXCUSE ME? YOU PUSHED ME? makes me so mad, but at least he sometimes is helpful i guess. (-40/10 partner, you should know better than to pick him.)

sion

better than kun maybe on par with winwin i'd say. his leader mode is definitely more active here, also tries to play up and be brave, gets scared very easily but it's okay. he reacts quickly and that's honestly all that matters in a haunted house bc if you can get out of that inital shock and think logically about the situation you can survive about anything. very good with puzzles i don't think he's a bad option! (8/10 partner, jaehyun maybe enlisting in a couple of days but at least we have sion)

jeno

might be the one of the best options out of all of these clowns. but again nct is a circus and they are so unpredictable. i would feel safe with jeno though. he's suspiciously quiet, and not very reactive when it comes to the scares. very smart too like he solves the puzzles in seconds too. take jeno with you and you are LIVING TO SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL! (12/10 partner, very satisfied would recommend. )

xiaojun

you picking xiaojun is like whoever tf seulgi is singing to that knows 28 reasons to run away but chooses to depend on her anyways. LIKE CMON. xiaojun definitely scares himself. also he's really loud in general like you need something to shut him up with. bad at puzzles, okay with scares, idk if you're gonna survive broski. (2/10 partner, maybe xiaojun has dumb luck and you'll survive, who knows.)

ryo

way more mature than sakuya, i'm convinced you will actually survive! this little maltese is very brave and will definitely go first if you're too scared. also willing to throw hands but let's talk about that later you will make it out of there in decent time, and not struggle that much. may get a little bit scared, but he regains his courage very easily! (10/10 partner, guys i love ryo a lot. he's literally my child.)

jaemin

yes jaemin is a good pick, he’s not that phased by scare actors and will even try to talk to some of them about their day. spreads positivity but will probably mock you for being too scared if you get scared by the jump-scares. if you can deal with that you should be fine. he’s not as good as jeno is with the puzzles but can hold his own weight fairly well. “can we go again?” absolutely not. (8/10 partner, would’ve been higher but for that last comment he’s getting marked down a couple of points.)

jungwoo

just because this man isn’t vocal when he’s scared does not mean he isn’t shitting himself right now. instead of screaming, he opts to stumble and fall instead. any little noise will make him jump, even if it’s caused by himself. closes his eyes because “i can’t get scared if i can’t see them!” he was incorrect. jungwoo can in fact get scared if he can’t see them. (0/10 partner, no negatives for jungwoo but you probably won’t survive.)

mark

best option in my opinion. the only leader who calms down the fastest and reacts the best. i mean he deals with haechan and chenle on a daily basis so he has some practice. all his years of testing his patience has prepared him for this moment. deep inside he’s paranoid as hell, but that really doesn’t distract him from getting you two out of there as quickly as he can. extremely motivated and works hard to solve the puzzles. (17/10 partner, much better than his egg making abilities!)

jaehee

he thought it was going to be fun. it was not. “this was NOT a good idea. oh MY GOd-“ pointing to every little thing, “did you see that”. okay but his prediction game is kinda on point though. thanks to his paranoia he manages to predict all the jumpscares. so eventually you two come up with a plan to scare the actors themselves which actually works surprisingly, and lessens your worries about the whole thing. maybe it was fun after all. (8/10 partner, you got banned from coming back though)

yangyang

now most of y’all might think that yy will whine and scream and cry in a haunted house. and, you’re not wrong! but in terms of the pussy-ness scale against the rest of these clowns, yangyang is actually pretty good at this. he’ll flinch, react, scream, and run away, but he takes the lead. willingly to go first, even if he himself is shaking in his thousand dollar shoes the entire time. good at puzzles too! (7/10 partner, so good so bad like whatever zb1 said!)

perm taglist ↬ @lyvhie @aquaphoenixz @ldh0000 @galacticnct

[janmisali]

Super Mario Bracket: IGGY KOOPA vs COUNT BLECK

"So anyway, I'm Iggy! I'll be your frustratingly overpowered opponent today!"

Iggy Koopa

SEED: 49 (18 nominations)

PREVIOUS OPPONENT: Chunky Kong

SPECIES: Koopa

DEBUT: Super Mario Bros. 3

NOMINATION EXAMPLE: For some reason, I always liked Iggy the most of the Koopalings. I like how crazy he is and his design appeals to more than most of the others. He became my go-to when I play Mario Kart 8.

[Super Mario Wiki article]

"Our duel will be worthy of the last clash the world will ever see!"

Count Bleck

SEED: 17 (34 nominations)

PREVIOUS OPPONENT: Link

SPECIES: Super Paper Mario character

DEBUT: Super Paper Mario

NOMINATION EXAMPLE: best mario villain. He's angsty, he's got trauma, he's complex, he has a redemption arc, you fix him at the end. I love his design, I love the twist with his history. I love his charisma and presence. He's legitimately scary and his minions honestly deserve a rant of their own, individually.

[Super Mario Wiki article]

[link to all polls]

[wazzappp]

Fun thoughts I am having while hiding in my room away from the friends my mom has over (I love her but I can only hear 'My name is Mary like the virgin but I'm not' so many times).

Re!Robbie vs Canon Robbie when it comes to sound design and how it's frightening in different directions.

Canon Robbie is LOUD when he's the Rider. They're always screaming or growling or howling in what I can only imagine is some god awful hybrid of human distress and engine noises. Which is scary as SHIT. It lends itself very well to the sort of fast paced chases that happen, and using sound to distract or overwhelm prey makes a LOT of sense for them. It's hard to think when your running away from something that won't stop screaming at you. Plus there's the fact that stealth doesent make a lot of sense for them. They're on FIRE so who CARES if they're loud yk? Overall 10/10 very scary I love this angy boi he's doing GREAT.

RE!Robbie in his altered state is the OPPOSITE. He barely talks at all unless he's trying to call out for Gabe or Lisa. He might let out a grunt or small noise if he's hurt. But for the most part, he's just. Quiet. That consistent wheezing death rattle of someone whose about to die but it never happens. Not talking, not yelling, just watching and waiting for a moment to attack. Very spoopy in my opinion I love them both <3

[warningsine]

@armeniuslaurant that moment where you have to decide what to do with Balak was one of the hardest in the game for me.

The Kaidan vs. Ashley thing never particularly troubled me because I wasn't that attached to those characters--at that point in time, at least.

But how to deal with a terrorist? Let him go when you know he had already taken lives and will probably do so again in the future (he was willing to kill millions) or save the 3 hostages like that guy practically begged you to do? Very Trolley problem-like.

Kant would tell you that the blood would be on Balak's hands if you chose to sacrifice the hostages, because the decision was forced upon you. But Kant's ethics can drive a person up the wall.

I know that Balak can become a war asset in the 3rd game, but if you play as a Renegade, he calls Shepard the fuck out.

I feel you became more of a monster than I did. I only took a small amount of people hostage and used them as collateral but what did you do? You dropped a Mass Relay and killed countless amount of my people so you can save lives. If anything, I should kill you for that so I can be the hero to my people but other people would deem me to be the villain for doing so. Wonderous how things are now.

The Leviathan DLC gives me chills. I've always loved it, because it gave me "Bioshock" vibes.

That moment in the game where those indoctrinated scientists tell you in a monotonous manner, "The darkness cannot be breached." Scary af. And when they wake up and realize they lost 10 years of their lives? Oof.

And actually meeting those Lovecraftian creatures?

The music, the atmosphere, the suspense when Shepard travels down to the darkest depth of the ocean, the creepiness when you see how huge Leviathan are, how they can take your friends' forms because they're reading your mind? Pure awesomeness.

That being said, it is beyond stupid that you recruit them and never find out what happens to them after the war. Hello? These all powerful creatures that can indocrinate you are gonna be a problem if they don't fuck off and disappear again. The extended cut should have addressed that.

Also, they're a war asset, but you never see them fight. (Just like with the other living horrors you can choose to recruit: the Rachni.

I wish we had the option to save the Thorian too. What a fascinating creature.)

Unfortunately, with Javik--as funny as I find his "primitives" comments at times, I was as disappointed as Liara, because I wanted more Prothean lore. (Never meet your Prothean idols.)

The deepest the game went with him?

Stand amongst the ashes of a trillion dead souls, and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer.

and

The stone has no choice in the form it will take. You and I Commander, war is our sculptor. And we are prisoners to its design.

[anniflamma]

HHHHHHHORSE?!?!??!!! Hello?!?!! FUCKIN LOVE THE HORSEBEAST HORROR absolutely underutilized potential for the god of horses. As a horse girlie who has definitely almost been killed by various horses over the course of my life (and loves them anyway) I LOVE a good murder horse. Like YESSSSS give me a prey animal with a too wide mouth and too many teeth and a hunger in its eyes and the way it stalks around him like a predator. Give me the horror of an animal that SHOULD NOT BE in the middle of the ocean but it *is*. And then of course the parallel between the Trojan Horse leading his men to victory vs the Poseidon horse killing them killing them dead because Also ALSO. I MCFUCKING LOVE horses. But also. Horses can be goddamn scary. I’ve been in dangerous situations around horses where you immediately realize that you are so small and crushable and they are so large and fast and have big hard hooves and they will destroy you and the ocean is the same way and ugh. Horsebeast Poseidon is my new fave concept for him. Anyway my take on your animatic and the breathless terror of Odysseus absolutely getting whipped around and the waves hammering the ship into oblivion and it’s so *easy*. I lost my train of thought. Oh yeah. SO GOOD. thank you. 10000/10 great concept, phenomenal execution. Can’t thank you enough.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! Also, I can't agree more that I'm probably a horse girlie as well!

I always found horses beautiful animals! And scary horses are such a big plus!! Just slap a humanoid grin onto a horse and then put it in any random environment, and it will be scary no matter what! Maybe… 😅

My first sketches of him were only him as a horse, but the truth is that I have never really taken my time to, well, draw horses! Believe me! I rarely draw horses! Or even animals at all! My plan was to have Poseidon as a horse throughout the whole animatic, but I kind of scrapped it and gave him a human design, which was based on his horse form. So that's why he looks like…. well… Hades I guess? Given that he has black straight (also wet) hair. He had also black clothing but ended with only white.

Anyways, I think Im going off track now! I love horses too, and I'm definitely planning on making some doodles of dear Horseidon!

[internal-bleating]

Monsters Vs Aliens isn't that bad and people should give it more of a chance and Susan Murphy is one of the best female protagonists ever actually

-----------------------------

!!Long Post Warning!!

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People seem to collectively hate Monsters Vs Aliens and idk why. My fam and I have always loved it and me and my dad used to always quote it all the time.

Now, is it better than Megamind? No way. Megamind is a masterpeice of cinema and is very much obviously the superior movie. But is Monsters Vs Aliens THAT horrible? I really don't think so.

I watched it again recently for old times sake and sentimental nostalgia and I really do think it's kind of underated. Is the animation style kind of ugly? First off, ugly and pretty are very subjective, second, yeah I can see why some might find the character design kinda ugly with their weird porportions and Susan's huge fucking eyes. But I really don't think it's THAT bad.

Also people seem to rag on the plot a fair amount as well but the plot and message are both actually pretty awesome if you ask me.

Susan is SUCH a good protagonist ok???

Gonna share my appreciation with ya'll for her.

I know there's probably people out there that view her as annoying and whinny but like??? Give her a fucking break! The girl literally starts off as the most basic average young adult white girl you've ever seen. Like fr she was probably on the more populer side at school, was definitly on the richer side when it comes to the middle class, seemed to live in a very cookie cut suburd neighborhood, and was going to marry one of the most painfully boring and typical white dudes ever. Like this girl was DEFINITELY one of those white girls you always see youtubers do impressions of n shit.

And by PURE CHANCE and coincidence, she gets hit by a meteor on her wedding day (Also can we talk about that hysterically anticlimactic "Oof!" she lets out when she got hit and her mom just brushing off her words when she says she got hit my a meteorite like "yep, everyone feels like that" as if her daughter wasn't fucking COVERED in dirt and ash) and it completely derails her very normal life.

Can we talk about Derek for a sec tho? Like what a fucking selfish jackass! The guy KNEW how excited Susan was about Paris and yet he only cares about himself and continuesly proves he doesn't give a shit about her enough to inconveiniance himself for her AT ALLLLL. Unlike Susan who was completely ready to forget about her Paris honeymoon for him. Like I bet you if Susan hadn't had this whole thing happen to her she'd have the most miserable loveless mariage with this dude and would be in denial of it for YEARS and keep trying to tell herself he cares but probably won't realize he doesn't until way way later. This guy was going to definitly waste a good chunk of her life and leave her feeling so so incredibly lost...

She's confused and scared(seriously her hair turned white in miliseconds becuase of how distressed she was) as everyone runs away screaming and she tries in vain to calm everyone down and things only get more disorienting as helicopters and fucking military men start attacking her and she doesn't understand what she's done wrong. And we also get some foreshadowing of how strong and how much potential she has with her newfound strength yet she doesn't know that yet. A few soldiers attempt to pull her down with ropes around her arm and at first she struggles against it but as SOON as she sees Derek is in danger she's like "Hey leave him alone! Don't hurt him!" and pulls herself free with incredible ease!

So then, Susan is very understandably freaking out and panicking when she wakes up in Area 51, yelling and screaming that she doesn't belong here as she's up until now most likely never experienced such and confusing and stressful situation. And honestly I feel SO SORRY for her that whole thing must've been so overwhelming and scary. We kind of get a timeskip after she sits in the corner of her cell but I bet you she was having a breakdown for the whole first week.

Small note, the government changed her name to Ginormica. Like bruh...

Then villain introduction yada yada skipping ahead a little bit.

Quick mention of the BANGER scene where the President plays Axel F for an alien robot. One of my fave scenes in the whole movie fr.

Also mentioning how Susan is SO SO determined to get out of monster prison.

So Susan and the other monsters are tasked with fighting an alien robot in exchange for their freedom. Susan is like "Oh yes! I'm gonna see my family again!" and I don't think the thought of fighting a robot has fully sunk in yet becuase she's way more focused on the prospect of seeing her lover again.

And THEN she sees this MOUNTAIN of a fucking robot that actually kind of scared me as a kid, and it finally sinks in. They want her to fight THAT. She was not expecting it to be so fucking big. Do these people actually expect her to fight this thing?? She starts freaking out again because like?? HOW??? How is she supposed to fight that thing?? She's never fought before!

Then big action scene, comedic moments with the trio, Susan runs away from the robot scared out of her fucking mind as this huge hulking metal monster aggressively persues her. And we get an actually really funny joke where she's clinging onto the edge of a roof, scared she's gonna fall only to fall like, two inches onto her feet when her grip slips and she's like "Oh. Right. Haha.".

Monster shenanigans again, She's on the bridge and continuing to get as far away from the robot as she can when she sees a car crash happen and reflexively stops in her tracks. She can clearly see the robot just a short distance away, but instead of continuing to run, she risks closing the gap of distance she's created for herself from the robot and chooses to instead help the people who might possibly be hurt and injured. She tries to warn them even as they run away becuase they are scared of her to get off the bridge before the robot gets to all of them.

Yeah, ok, maybe it's kinda ridiculous how fast the robot closes that distance between it and her but movie logic™ ok???

The robot has her cornered, it opens up a panel with a bunch of rotating teeth, intending to GRIND HER INTO A BLOODY PASTE like can we talk about how horrifying of a situation that is?? You're literal inches from a killer meatgrinder that's angling the bridge you're on so that you slide right into a waiting painful hole of death!

Insectisaurous, another big monster she was at first terrified of, shows up just in time. You see that look of incredible relief on Susan's face as he comes to her rescue, incopasitating the robot and pulling the bridge back to it's correct angle in order to help her get away.

Susan starts frantically asking why this robot is so hellbent on killing her specifically. It's not like she's been trying to attack it this whole time! Like why??? Robot seemingly crushes her in its robot hand but then, she pries its hand back open, the gang watching in awe.

In the struggle, the robot creates a huge hole in the bridge and a couple's car starts to fall into it but Susan stop it! "You're doing great!" "I'm doing EVERYTHING!!!" - ASFDJKLHFSDLAJKHSFDJKFASD

Susan, still thinking about the wellbeing of others, prioritizes getting all these people off the bridge and away from danger. When Bob clears the way somewhat, she yells at the people in their cars to go while still wresting with the robot hand to prevent it from harming any of them.

She's obviously tiring from holding his hand at bay for so so long and knows she can't keep it up forever and that's a scary thought to have cuz she's unsure how she's going to get away from this thing. But then she takes in her suroundings and a plan forms in her head.

Once again, Susan has never had to do this before. She's just winging this and is fighting for her god damn life! She speaks to herself to hype herself up for what she's about to attempt, hoping it will work.

Then BAM! With a determined burst of strength she jumps into action, pushing the robot hand wide open before grabbing the other and pulling the robot towards her, using its weight and topheaviness to make it lose balance and fall forwards. She grabs Link whose out cold btw rn, and carries him to safety, jumping out of the way JUST in time before the robot completely destroyes the bridge where she just was as it falls over.

A peice of the bridge comes down with it and severes its head from the rest of its body, effectively damaging it enough to power it off, permanently. Susan peers over the edge of the collapsed bridge, a smile of relief that the danger has passed and she's still alive spreading across her face. She actually did it!

Villain scene and monolouge, impending doom approaching, time skip,

Susan is excitedly talking to the others as they ride in the plane's cargohold about how "Wow! I can't believe I actually did that!" and she's so so proud of herself and you see Dr. Cockroach and Bob smiling back at her becuase from their POV she's probably glowing so so brightly and looks the happiest they've seen her ever. Her confidence is at skyrocket height right now! And yet, she can't help but long for her old life. She tells them how she's going to find a way to become normal again and that Derek will help her because he loves and cares about her and won't rest until they've fixed this(poor thing doesn't realize how much of a shitstain Derek is yet).

Bob (yeah he's the comic relief but i feel like people greatly underate how honest and genuine he can be like come onnnnnn(also yes I added him to my kinlist idgaf)) is like "Wait but you were just talking about how you're so strong now and how there's not a jar in this world you can't open" and yeah the whole line is played in a comedic light cuz Bob seems to only care about whatever food is in the jar she can't open but I feel like it's a little deeper than that.

After hearing about how great Derek seemingly is, the gang wants to meet him and Susan is like "Yeah sure I'll gladly introduce you guys!" and they all arrive at her home and she looks so happy to be back!!

Her family is kinda wary of the gang but she reassures them they're all chill and introduces them as her new friends, showcasing how far she's come relationshipwise with the three of them(since she was scared of them and found both Bob and Dr. Cockroach gross when they all first met. She legit tried to kill Dr. Cockroach when they first met like wow.)

Another example of Derek not caring, he doesn't show up to welcome her home from prison. Susan runs off to go get him so they can all celebrate together.

The monster gang tries to adjust to society and does their best to be friendly and nice but everyone is still super scared of them and it doesn't go very well...

Susan is SO SO HAPPY to see Derek again! She forgets how big she is and how strong she is in her excitement and Derek is kinda... understandably distressed when she picks him up, swings him around, almost suffocates him and almost crushes him. When Susan realizes this she immediatly apoligizes to him and puts him down.

Derek proceeds to show just how much of a fucking dickwad he is. When he asks her if he expects him to put his whole career on hold to help her, she's like "YES???" like bro this girl was ready to make the sacrifice of her PARIS HONEYMOON that she was VERY VISIBELY LOOKING FORWARD TO for your benifit!! Derek breaks Susan's heart and she's completely at a loss now. Everything feels like a lie. She leaves her home to go off to where she does not know.

Once again, yes, I KNOW it's kind of an impossible reach for the monster trio to show up right then. And ONCE AGAIN, I'm claiming movie logic™.

Bob once again being incredibly blunt and honest. Makes the whole gang face the fact that everyone hates them and doesn't want to be around them.

Heard somone bring up and praise the "We could save every city on the planet and they'd still treat us the way they've always treated us. Like monsters..." and honestly, fucking correct and valid.

They all have that quiet sad moment together.

Link tries to lighten the mood by asking how things went with Derek, the seemingly perfect and accepting loving guy Susan has sung the praises of for her entirety of her time with them in prison(seriously Link's whole response to her talking about him in that one scene way earlier implies she talked about Derek NONSTOP). He and the others do not yet know he's a prick as Susan had just discovered.

Susan finally accepts the fact that he's a selfish jerk as she tells the gang so.

"There was never and us! There was only Derek! Why did I have to get hit by a meteorite do realize that??" - Girl go OFF!!!!

She gets a good old rant out and in the process realizes that she doesn't have to feel lost. She's gonna be just fine without him because she's fucking amazing and has four new awesome friends now. She tells them just how awesome they all are and that none of them have to be accepted by society. They all have a character turning moment where Susan has learned she loves this new her and things are looking real up for the five of them! But then, of course, something has to go wrong.

Galaxar's ship shows up and abducts Susan. Insectosaurus tries to help her again but is hit by a ball of energy from the spaceship's cannon. He lets out the most heartwrenching shriek and we get an actually really sad scene as Susan is pulled into the ship and Link, knowing there's really nothing they can do for her in that moment, rushes over to his friend.

"Don't close those eyes. Don't you DARE close those eyes!" *Insectosaurus's eyes slide shut* "You can't..." - LIKE COME ON THAT WAS FUCKING SADDDDD AAAAAAAAAA

Susan has a confrontation with Galaxar, the villain of this movie. They have a very "You have gotten in my way for the last time" "I don't know who tf you are!" moment.

Susan has a moment of clarity where she's like "Wait, all of this is YOUR fault??" and she realizes that he's the reason her whole life was derailed and why she suffered all this trauma of her wedding day, being taken away from everything she's ever known with no hope of ever seeing her family again, and almost dying in a fight with a robot. He's why her fiance wants nothing to do with her(not defending Galaxar or anything for this cuz he did a lot of horrible shit but he really did her a solid by derailing her life cuz as i've stated before, Derek would have ruined her life in the long term if all this never happened to her).

Galaxar is all smug during this.

"You destroyed San Fransisco, you terrified millions of people, you killed my friend, just to get to me??" - My poor girl really out here still putting other people before her and caring more about them than herself...

Galaxar is so sure he's got the upperhand, so sure he's safe from her becuase of that forcefeild. But nah, Susan is fucking LIVID now and breaks through that forcefeild.

She proceeds to break through every barrier Galaxar puts between himself and her becuase she's learned just how imposing her power is now. She's chases after him through the ship like "I'M GOING TO FUCKING KICK YOUR ASS!!!" and Galaxar is actually genuinly scared of her as he's fleeing.

LIKE YES QUEEN!!!! GET HIS ASS!!! KILL THE BLUE FUCK!!!!

And because we still got a fair amount of run time to go, and because we still need our protagonist to struggle a bit, Galaxar manages to trap Susan in the extraction chamber just as she's about to get him. She's still glaring absolute daggers at him through the glass though. He looks back at her, smug expression returning. She then slams her hands into the glass and it STARTS TO CRACK!!! Galaxar is getting scared again and jumps back but he also commands the computer to begin the extraction process.

Susan is determined to break out and get to the person responsible for everything that has happened to her in the past month, but as the Quantonium is removed from her body, her pounds on the glass get weaker and weaker and soon she's no longer cracking the glass. Her now much smaller hand weakly presses against the glass one last time before the chamber retracts and she's left lying there back at her original size.

And even after all that, and even though Galaxar now towers over in instead of the other way around, she still meets his gaze with her own determined glare.

Side note, I know it's supposed to be a joke and all but im really curious about why exactly Galaxar came to the conclusion of destorying his whole fucking planet.

Also,

"There were innocent people on my home planet before it was destroyed!"

"Well I'm sorry your planet was destroyed..." "Oh don't be. I was the one who destoryed it" - Idk this whole exchange is just really clever to me. Like talk about speedrunning the whole trying to sympathsize with the villain and then discovering they really are just a bad person trope LMAO.

Another big skip,

Link is still mourning Insectosaurus, and both Bob and Dr. Cockroach are unsure what to do. Link takes the intiative right then and there.

"We're not gonna let Insecto die in vain. We're gonna get up there, find Susan, and we're gonna take that alien down!" - HELL YEAH BRO!!!

Skip skip, they get onto the ship, they find Susan(Galaxar was going to throw her into the incenerator. As a pyrophobe, WHAT a horrible way to go out wow), Bob fucking murders somone,

"I can't believe you guys actually came for me ;-;" "Us monsters gotta stick together" - Like holy shit that's so adorable.

Poor Susan isn't sure if she can even call herself one of them anymore becuase she's small again :( (Only thing different is that her hair is still white)

Dr. Cockroach assures her she's still awesome.

Skip again,

Big epic fight scene. Link actually gets to do shit this time and isn't unconscious.

They set the ship to self destruct and the doors to the chamber begin to shut. The gang rushes to reach the doors before they close all the way. They manage to get Susan through the doors right before they shut but the trio isn't so lucky.

The trio urges Susan to leave without them but she doesn't want to.

"You can finally get your old life back..."

"But I don't want me old life back!" - SHE DOESN'T WANNA ABANDON HER FOUND FAM FR!!! She finds a way up to the control chamber where Galaxar is priming the escape pod and intending to leave with the Quantonium.

"Are you crazy?? You could've killed me!" "Then we understand eachother." - fuckin baller line.

Susan demands for him to open up the doors and release her friends but he's like "lmao make me" and then when he goes to climb into the escape pod, she stops him and they have a scuffle that ends with her holding him at gun point like "You better fuckin do it right fucking now buddy!"

"Even if I wanted to I couldn't! That's what happens when you set the ship to selfdestruct!! Now we're all going to die! And there's nothing you can do about it! Sooooooooosan." <- says her name in a very mocking tone.

And Susan is like "Actually I can do something about it" "And the name is Ginormica" *points the gun up and shoots it at the thing holding the Quantonium so it falls on her* - FUCKING BAD ASS!!!!

So Susan is big again, she saves her friends just in time, She jumps off the small platform they were huddled on just as a peice of the ship comes down on top of it, smashing through the floor of the ship. The four of them grab onto eachother and dangle thousands of feet above the ground, Susan clinging on for dear life to the bottom of the ship.

She loses her grip and they all start to fall but they're caught by somone.

Turns out Insectosaurus isn't dead!! He's a butterfly now!!!!!

They all fly away to safety just as the ship's automated computer voice counts down.

Galaxar is frantically pushing buttons on the control panel since the escape pod doesn't work without the Quantonium. He covers his ears and squeezes his eyes shut as the countdown ends.

"Three, two, one."

.................

*distant bird call*

"Hmm, nothing happened, maybe my count wa-" *ship explodes* - This part had me DYINGGGG the first time I saw this movie.

Butterflyosaurus lands before a crowd of cheering people.

Susan's parents are all proud of her.

"Oh Susan, ever since you were a maybe, your dad and I knew that you'd... you know, save the planet from an invasion from outterspace" - Can we talk about how fucking weird this must've been for them??? Like yeah it was scary for Susan, but imagine how her parents must be feeling; like their only child started growing into a giant at her wedding and then she was taken away from them to some place unknown and they didn't hear anything from her after that(bet you the government deleted her birth info and denied she ever existed and was straight up gaslighting them into believing they never had a daughter.) until suddenly their duaghter is on the news becuase she fought a giant alien robot and I wonder if they knew she almost DIED doing it.

Derek shows up then, makes a shitty attempt at apologizing to her- no wait he DOESN'T say he's sorry, nah he doesn't hold himself in the wrong. This fucker.

"Baby I thought long and hard about what I said, and I wanted you to know, I forgive you." "... You forgive... me?" Susan is visibily perplexed at this.

"Yes it's not your fault you got hit by a meteor and ruined everything. In fact you didn't ruin everything. I just got a call from New York. They offered me network! All I gotta do is get an exclusive interview from you!" - Yes, he's only "forgiving her" cuz it benifits him. I cannot believe I saw people in the comments of a video about MvA saying she should've forgave him like ya'll are fucking stupid.

So Susan is like "Oh wow reallY?!?!?! Cool! Hey is the camera still rolling?" And Derek, unaware he's fucked up, says "Of course lol!" So Susan proceeds to break up with him on live television and then flick him up into the air. She also tells Bob to catch him so he doesn't splat onto the pavement.

Bob then tells him off for being a selfish asshole and Derek, now humiliated, tells them to shut the camera off.

and honestly??? FUCKING DESERVED!!! Hope that clip becomes immortalized as a meme and you are forever branded as the idiot who icon monster celebrity Susan Murphy broke up with on live television. also 100% convinced that the group of people on the internet who have a huge thing for giant women hate Derek for turning down having a supersized wife like all of them would KILL for that COME ON BRO!!!!

A slug apparently got turned into a Kaiju in Paris so the gang all fly off into the sunset to go deal with that and the movie ends~ LIKE HELL YEAH SUSAN YOU FINALLY GET TO GO TO PARIS YEAH!!! After all the shit she's been through she deserves at least that.

There's a fair amount of things I didn't mention but I think that if anyone reading this hasn't seen Monsters vs Aliens before, or hasn't seen it in a while, you should give it a watch again/for the first time. You don't HAVE to, but I recommend.

Maybe some of the jokes aged poorly, maybe some of the humor is kind of childish and unfunny, maybe its full of outdated "HEY LOOK THIS MOVIE WAS IN 3D!!!" bits, but I fucking love this movie ok???!?!?!?!?!

It's in no way perfect and in no way one of Dreamworks best films ever but I feel like it isn't necessarily one of their worst ones either.

[semi-imaginary-place]

umineko ep7 pt2

Slaps roof of character wow they get so many names and character designs and personalities/personas. We got ushiromiya lion and the red suit. Clair the white ghost witch who has the role of urban legend beatrice who also shows up as elder sister gold Beatrice in .. ep5? And then chick younger sister beatrice. Then we got the og italian beatrice, and her incest daughter kuwadorian beatrice2. Oh yeah and gaap is also a beatrice. Lion and beatrice have gold hair why does shannon have dark hair.

Natsuhi and battler are so right, go get rudolph's cheating two timing ass. Rudolph being all torn up about battler hating him and cheating, and kyrie is out there popping off champagne and dancing on asumu's grave. It says something that 12 year old battler was more emotionally mature than kyrie. Kyrie to some degree even resented battler and hated asumu enough she was resolved to kill her. Battler meanwhile doesn't hold rudolph's decisions against ange and even admires kyrie. 12 year old battler shouldn't have carelessly promised things he couldn't keep. forgetting about what he said is so 12 year old core. In a way you can think the ushiromiya family incident as rudolph's fault. It sounds like shanon was more infatuated with the idea of marriage than any one boy, like girl you agreed to marriage at 16. Also something insidious about george probably wanting marriage for children to continue the family line and what not and idk if shanon is even capable of pregnancy. In the long run 6 years is pretty short, it just so happens to be at a critical time in a kids life, Rudolph didn't get to see battler grow up. Shannon high off copium deluding herself that this is all a test of her love that the longer battler stays away the more devoted he is. vs. the reality that like most 12 year olds and he forgot and didn't think it was important.

Huh white beatrice took on shanon's love for battler. She just made kanon??? You can do that? Scary. Shanon so repressed she made an edgy emo boy alter. And then clair remade her form to be battler's exact type, which just so happens to look like og beatrice. Or did she rewrite og beatrice's appearance? white beatrice changing her hair color still doesn't explain why shanon and lion have different hair colors. Unless yasu's hair was originally gold but in making the shanon servant persona they changed the hair color from gold to black/brown. Beatrice 2 3 is also classic anime 1 drop of white blood makes your family white forever (see ann takamaki) where as in reality 1 european parent 1 east asian parent always (excluding rare mutations) ends up with dark haired children like you get a dark chocolate brown at lightest. So beatrice2 (F1) being blond is almost impossible. I'm not even going to think of why kinzo has white hair or the ushiromiyas in general have light hair i heard someone say this is just for audience interest where in universe everyone has black hair. So at best bea2 would also be dark haired with recessive alleles. And then incest backcrossing to the same dark haired alleles means it's still impossible for bea3 to have blond hair. Which brings it back to blond lion unless that is just visual design and not canon.

Ah the epitaph was to decide whether genji would reveal yasu or not.

The thing is battler doesn't know beatrice exists so even if he did come back he wouldn't love her. The one battler has a past and relationship with was shanon. In taking that love from shanon they doomed it. Also i get they're a hivemind thing but it's kinda disturbing that emotions can be cut and pasted from one person to another

Weird that the translation is using a mix of romanized and japanified names but very few of the actual taiwanese names which are mandarin chinese. Like the translation uses Tansui when it's actual name is Danshui which is an actual place. The eng translators probably don't know but replacing existing names with japanese ones is one of the main tactics of japanese imperialism and colonialism to forcefully assimilate the population, cultural genocide and all that.

Not genji dressing her up to be presented to kinzo, feels sooo bad. Ok i wasnt sure which version because this beatrice acts like shannon but is being narrated by clair. But kinzo's line about your face and voice resemble your mother part i want to throw up. Get away from them, i must protec. Yeah sure you carry beatrice's blood but you're also 3/4 kinzo. Every line out of kinzo's mouth just gets worse! Die right now. Hell is too good for kinzo. Making them cosplay as their dead mother is so messed up. Kinzo was a bastard until the end didn't natter that he was ruining someone else's life or dumping massive trauma on them or that they'd been a servant since 6 and so many labor laws broken like child labor little rest nor vacation verbal abuse with holding food, noo all the mattered was making himself feel better.

First order as head: i quit. I guess this vaguely makes the george shanon relationship better, even if it's beatrice side that became the master the one with love for battler, and not shanon. Although really now that bea/lion/shanon/yasu (i hate this series most confusing identities ever!) knows, why didn't you choose someone who isn't a cousin/nephew. Oh wait i just realized they are 19 i remember earlier they were talking about faking yasu's age. In some ways the george relationship makes more sense. Shanon/clair/beatrice is so passive about their life. She hands over the position of head because they don't want to decide anything, leave everything up to fate and go where fate takes her. George offers that kind of certainty were he decides things for shannon and she goes along with it.

I dont get whats going on are clair and will undoing the previous episodes and murders?

Yasu/shannon/beatrice/clair/etc. (am i missing any?) is soooo normal. Girl splits her persona when her preteen crush ghosts her that's not a healthy response. She is not coping well. Shannon chooses george to tell her how to live and what to feel (not dissing lifestyle subs or anything but girl what). She sets up a bomb to blow up the island with an elaborate serial murder plot. Girl is mentally unwell. Oh yeah and then kinzo trauma dumps and makes her spiral. Oh yeah and kanon. I cant tell if their character is meant to be coded with dissociative identity disorder like maria is autism coded or not. They need therapy, and feminism. Actually all the ushiromiyas need therapy and feminism.

Gun safety everyone. This is why you store guns and ammo separately, don't fight over a loaded gun, and don't put your finger on the trigger unless you plan to shoot. Wow hideyoshi "let's hide the murder and bodies". Something about that fascist gold fever making everyone go crazy and murderous (except erika who's already deranged, and battler who's battler). You don't even need the explosion plot you can always lie and say krauss and natsuhi got in an argument about hiding kinzo's death and the inheritance.

Damn kyrie killing everyone is cold blood. Forgot she's a yakuza heir. She really lets hate rule her life. Asumu's gone so she just transfers her hatred into battler. Kyrie and rudolph a match made in hell, they're both terrible people. I've honestly checked out of all the main romances (battler beatrice, george shannon, jessica kanon). the most interesting are eva hideyoshi which is girlboss + malewife but they're both deeply sexist. And kyrie and rudolph, they're such terrible people but they really do match each other and make good partners. I'm not sure rudolph and kyrie are on the same page. Oh that's how eva survives makes what happens with ange more painful given what she accuses eva of.

Eva is the luckiest person alive. The ange angst train continues. Wow kyrie might be an actual psychopath (the actual clinical definition not the pop psych twitter definition), utterly self centered and self serving, kinda impressive but wow. The truth huh, the inside of Schrodinger's catbox. I guess battler won in the end with the anti witch anti magic hypothesis. But battler isn't dead yet. And of course ange's fragment of miracles is one where kyrie and rudolph succeed in massacring everyone.

What does that red scene mean?? Beatrice is reluctant about kinzo's "feelings" ew this better not be incest round 2 with beatrice3. They hate their body because of a terrible injury which she describes as unable to love. Or is this beatrice2.

Given kyrie's love for ange turned out to be a lie i wonder about her relationship with rudolph. Maybe it was pragmatism afterall it can be pointless to love someone who's dead and kyrie sees thing that way but I've never met anyone with that degree of control over their emotions. Most of the time when people can control emotions it usually is just repression ignoring and stuffing down emotions rather than changing them. Less often people are talking about indirectly affecting their emotions like rewarding yourself with a cookie to bring your mood up or leaving an environment that is making you angry I've never met anyone who can turn love on and off like a light switch. Kyrie admits to testing rudolph so i do think it possible she would have killed him too if he'd been unable yo murder george and battler. Which makes me wonder if she did love rudolph in her own way as much as she was capable of. The two certainly got along well, had good chemistry, and seemed well matched in dispositions being able to keep up with and push each other, similar hobbies, etc. or was rudolph an achievement, a possession, a trophy husband for her. Kyrie did devote 18 years to getting him but it almost to me seemed more about destroying asumu for daring to get in the way of what kyrie wanted. The other thing is why does kyrie twice now monologue about her motives. Flipping the chessboard bern shows it to torment ange. But what about kyrie to vent? To distress her opponent?

[goldeneyedgirl]

TwiFicmas23 Day 12: Jar of Hearts (All or Nothing)

Happy Christmas Eve!

Today, despite my best-laid plans, is a section from Jar of Hearts as a preview for the upcoming chapter. Yes, it should be the whole chapter, but recent developments have had me contemplating things and making some adjustments to how JoH ends; plus this chapter might need some scenes from Seth and Alice to mix things up. I'm undecided.

Honestly, it was either a JoH snippet or some deleted VS scenes tonight, and Anon made the decision for me ;)

So I hope you enjoy this - another year of Ficmas over, and I have no idea how we made it this far! Happy Holidays everyone!

eight. all or nothing

The truth is that Emmett never saw any kind of war.

He was born right before America joined World War One and was a vampire before World War Two. There had been the shadow of the Great War over his childhood, from what he remembered, but it had always been something tucked away to the side. It hadn’t touched his family specifically; they had been simple people, focused on working hard, putting food on their table, and keeping a roof over their heads.

And then he was gone before World War Two was a worry his parents would talk about in hushed voices (that memory is solid; the hum of his parents’ voices in the next room talking over the big things, the scary things that might actually come for the McCarty boys, as he drifted off to sleep next to his brothers.)

It was one of the few things that he had in common with Carlisle - and even then, Carlisle had seen battles as a medic. Edward had been dazzled by the glamour of World War One before his death, and Jasper… well, it was Jasper. His brother had been fighting one war or another his entire life - and death. 

The closest Emmett ever come to war? That had been the debacle with Victoria. And he wasn’t so arrogant that he believed that it came anywhere near what an actual war was. He remembers the news stories through World War 2, through Korea and Vietnam. He remembers seeing Carlisle’s grim expression, watching Jasper leave the room before the remote landed on the couch next to him, before the news pages settled. He’s never envied his brother his role on the front lines, never really examined how that missing piece separates him from his brothers and Carlisle. It was just one of those things that weren’t part of his human life, and that couldn’t ever really be recaptured.

But this…

This is a war. This is being right in the middle of the trenches with fucking lizard people and aliens charging at him with no sense of self-preservation.  This is not knowing if the movement behind him is friend or foe or someone dying in the mud. This is having foreign blood dry wet and ice cold against his face and sometimes it smells good and other times it smells like rot and death; in not being able to see Alice or Seth in the blur of bodies and movement.

It’s watching a woman in a leather jacket beat the ever loving shit out of an alien for crushing her flask underfoot, and a broad black guy take a bone-shattering punch to the jaw and not even flinch. It’s realising that this is not the time to pull punches or worry about hiding what he is - these people are like them. It’s a weird feeling made weirder by how isolated the last five years have been.

(It’s killing the first alien in two moves and not feeling anything except disgust and impatience because this battle is the only thing standing between him and Rose.) 

//

It feels wrong to admit it, but it’s fucking exhilarating to throw a punch and shatter these monster-alien things. To not hold anything back, to move exactly how he was designed to. More than one hero is caught unaware by his speed; he saves two Wakandan warriors simply by being faster than they are - a crude but effective solution. 

//

It’s hard enough to get across the mud-slick the battlefield has become without running into another alien, another fighter. He hardly recognises half of these people, but more than one he saves from a killing blow - a big-eyed alien girl whose face lights up as he snaps the spine of the alien looming over her. She reminds him of Alice, when she first arrived back in the 50s. But he doesn’t pause, his eyes sliding over the battlefield looking for Alice or Seth, and mentally cursing himself out for not realising that all-black outfits would not be helpful in a battle situation. He should have insisted on reflective racing stripes or something. 

Next time.

(Wait, no. There would never be a next time, a need for fighting ensembles and funny little vests for Seth with reflective panels because they would never find themselves in a fight like this again. That was a promise he was making to himself - for himself.)

And that’s when he finally spots Seth, mud-slicked but alive. 

“No, no, no,” he’s already moving when understands what he’s seeing. wolf Seth, who is no small opponent (last summer, when they’d been bored… well, the short story is that in his wolf-form, Seth weighed double of what Alice did) - is somehow tangling with three aliens, with Thanos looming behind like the shadow of death, his eyes firmly on Seth.

There was no fucking way that the giant purple asshole was laying one goddamn hand on Seth whilst Emmett still had venom in his veins and his head. 

He sees Alice lunging across the battlefield from the opposite direction, her eyes focused fully on the potentially disastrous scene before them. 

“HE’S A FUCKING KID,” Emmett hollers pointlessly, but Seth surprises both him and Alice as he takes the arm clean off an alien, the limb cracking into pieces under the force of Seth’s jaws, before darting with a swiftness that wasn’t expected heading towards Alice before Thanos could move against him. And Alice is there, giving Seth cover to run into the crowd, Thanos giving her a dark look. 

“Watch out, man!” someone yells from above, and he looks up but makes the mistake. A snake-like alien strikes, a blow that shakes him to his bones and before he can use his momentum against the monster, he’s hauled across the battle field to land flat on his back in the mud, his left arm torn off and venom pouring from the wound. The pain is sharp and alive as he reorientates himself - it’s been decades since he lost anything more significant than a finger, and it always makes his head spin (he has no idea how Jasper managed to survive entire campaigns in the south, because he can’t even sit up). 

The alien is laughing at him, mocking him, as his broken arm is discarded in a pile of rubble (still twitching, ugh. No matter how many times he does loose fingers, toes, entire limbs, the twitching never stops being messed up). Thanos smirks but has already turned away from them, to venture deeper into the battlefield. 

Leave Alice and Seth alone. Fuck, Alice, keep Seth out of trouble, please. 

Two horrified superheroes that he doesn’t recognise are staring at him in complete horror, probably expecting him to bleed out - this should be a death sentence, and there’s no way to do triage in this mess. He’s seen a lot of bodies on their side drop in the mud with wounds that could be treated in any other circumstance, but here and now, they get to die in the mud because no one has the time or the supplies or the place to save them. The entire world outweighs saving one bleeding warrior. It’s unfair, but it’s how this has to happen. 

He’s oddly pissed off about the arm, honestly - it fucking hurts. He’d been less mad about the time that Peter took his right leg, honestly. This felt like a matter of honour. 

“Pay attention Emmett!” Alice says as she tears past - her jacket is long gone, and her arms are luminous white in the dull light - and offering no help; she’s clearly got a target in mind as she ducks and weaves out of sight. He scowls at her departing back as he scrambles back to his feet, eyes locked on the alien. 

“Nice move,” he says conversationally as he approaches the alien, who is beyond irritated he’s still moving. “Unluckily for you, this isn’t my first rodeo.”

(Jasper would be proud, he likes to think. Will be proud. More than sixty years of wrestling, play-fighting, and training, and he’s ready. This might not be the Southern Wars - down in Monterrey, they don’t go down as easy as these hydrostatic skeleton bug aliens - but Emmett was trained by the goddamn best.)

It takes three moves - punch, trip, stomp - to have the alien crushed at his feet, eyes dull and dead, and he has to stop himself from shredding the corpse  to burn out of habit. It’s an efficient kill, and then he’s moving quickly towards his discarded arm - ugh, still twitching. 

“Hey, you need to sit down, we’ll get you out of here.”

The man in front of him isn’t recognisable at first. Shaggy brown hair hangs in his face, and he’s swathed in Kevlar. It’s the arm, the once-silver left arm that allows Emmett to identity the man - Bucky Barnes. Cap’s best friend. The legendary marksman. 

“It looks worse than it is, Sergeant Barnes,” Emmett manages as he reaches out for his broken arm. “Just need it to reconnect fast.”

Sergeant Barnes isn’t expecting Emmett to be lucid, or for his arm to line up roughly in the joint; he covers Emmett’s back for the precious moments it takes for his body to recognise and reattach the join sending a shower of warmth and sparks down to his fingers. 

“Fuck, I hate that feeling,” Emmett mutters, flexing his fingers. 

//

Alice is with the Scarlet Witch, and that oddly makes him tense up in worry. But the Witch has Thanos trapped good, so he shouldn’t worry. Just keep taking out aliens, just keep everyone busy whilst smarter people deal with the goddamn glove. 

Alice looks positively hateful in that moment, glaring at Thanos as the Witch restrains him and maybe... maybe they've got him...

And then the Witch and Alice go flying as the world churns up in fire and smoke and Emmett needs to know his sister is okay.

[pretentious-art-love]

Film Reviews #8 - Megamind vs. the Doom Syndicate

When I heard that the reception for this movie was bad I decided to still keep going and watch it, people mentioned only the animation errors from the trailer, and well, nobody has Peacock, it's not like anybody actually watched the thing itself. The animation is indeed more cheaply looking and it can feel uncanny if you are used to the fluid animation of the Hollywood-tier film, but I love, love, the character of Megamind so I decided to give it a shot. The first Megamind itself is my favorite movie ever made by Dreamworks! I think it has some interesting plots,! Seriously! The purpose of villains, the need for conflict in life, and even topics present to today's internet bubbles like Incel culture! It was witty, it was funny, and it had something to tell. Even Megamind: The Button of Doom had something good talking about being authentic to yourself and what not!

Anyway, I thought that if you can get into the animation, you could enjoy the story. There structure of the story is good, having Megamind struggle with his new role as a hero with his self sabotaging, having Megamind pretend he is still a bad guy along other villains to not be destroyed, having Megamind to deal with his arrogance still. All these ideas have lots of possibilities for character progression and growth, but aside that, there is very little else for the original public.

In short, this is now a kids franchise. I see the love in the heartwarming performances and writing. Voice actors and writers for children's shows have a knack for simplicity and clarity. They are always vibrant and expressive making sure that complex ideas are presented in a simple way so the kids can get it. It works for them and it can be really charming when you get into it, but for the rest of the public this will not work. The humor will feel too obvious and dry, the characters will feel standardized. The music and design is very evident and in your face, there is no mood setting or build up, the music is used in short spurts to set up a punchline. The jokes set up are very obvious and simple. With kids there is very little space for subtext, so you set up things at plain sight. Sure, there are shows and movies that can talk to both children, and adults, true, but there is only so much you can do trying to gather both audiences. Sure you remember jokes and parts in Pixar classic movies that you didn't understand, or jokes that you didn't get or plot bits that bored you, I remember I couldn't watch Nemo when I was 6 because that bit where Nemo gets kidnapped absolutely terrified me, the niece of the dentist, she terrified me, Sid in Toys Story was way too scary. Maybe once you get a little bit older as a kid, you can then enjoy Pixar films. Disney films… well, I don't know, I never enjoyed Disney films so I can't comment about them. But anyway, yes, Pixar films can be enjoyed by both kids and adults, but you can only go so far with kids while still trying to talk to adults at the same time. If there is a scary villain without a face, showing him holding a teddy bear is a must go, if there is a bunch of bad guys attempting to destroy the city, if they are bickering with each other and being silly, that will help to see them as less threatening for a kid. With this movie and the TV show, there is a clear target audience, little kids.

I know that new productions are always rebranded as sequels for old properties to have a better chance to succeed, but for the people who enjoyed the first Megamind, this is not it. If Peacock management wanted to bring the kids to the platform, it might help, I'm not sure, a lot of kids around this decade aren't focused on feature length films exclusive for Streaming but in self made content and Indie Animation or also YouTube Shorts, they have a little kid character in the movie who manages to get more audience than Roxane through the internet and that constantly helps the main characters, the writers aren't oblivious about how the youth works, there are still famous and successful TV shows for kids nowadays as well, but I don't know really any of them. There is a dance scene and also some silly pop music numbers (the ending scene theme is actually very catchy). With the animation budget cut in, the movement is a lot less fluid, there are more frequent animations errors, the lighting is a lot simpler and the characters just look… different. But again, this is a kids show exclusive for Streaming TV, not a Hollywood-tier movie with a 130 million dollar budget.

It makes me a bit sad that their crew and cast got their work trashed by the internet like this because of another case of faux sequel and rebranding, it also makes me a bit sad for Megamind fans that were looking for a true sequel, but this is not what the movie is. As for the TV show, I don't think it will be my coup of tea.

Quick Chum or the city is gonna have a new ZIP code!

Hehehe, okay, that one was kinda funny.

4/10

[keiraboberia]

In celebration of the new episode tomorrow (that will probably make us all collectively loose our shits) I offer a List of half-assed head-cannons that I made while fighting of a single melatonin tablet:

Link is obviously the tallest, around 6’3 I believe. Scary is pretty average height, about 5’9 but she always rounds up. Hermie is 5’5 but frequently wears heeled shoes when he needs too. Normal is 5’3 and had to re-sew the legs of the teeny costume because they were too long and he kept eating shit while cheerleading. And Taylor is of course short with no remorse at a whole 5’1 and we love him for that.

Scary Listens to Creep By RadioHead and says something along the lines of “Modern music just doesn’t hit the same anymore…”

Taylor’s favorite Studio Ghibli movie isn’t Totoro, It’s spirited away. I have no reasoning for this it just works in my mind.

All the teens are definitely neurodivergent coded, therefore I’m taking that and running with it. Link is autistic and probably has some form of anxiety. (Just like me fr)

Mae Hales cuts her own hair and it looks fucking amazing.

When Normal was younger the only kids TV show he was allowed to watch was Bluey.

Taylor has a Tamagotchi and is terrible at keeping it alive

Linc (Link? Linck?) gets frequent growing pains, especially in his legs. Whenever this happens his dads treat it like how men treat women in their periods and Link is always confused by it. “Do you want a hot water bottle and some Aspirin, honey?”

Scary tried to pierce her own septum one time and it healed over with so much scar tissue that when her mom finally let her get a nose piercing she chose a nostril instead because she was embarrassed to tell anyone.

Hermie, at multiple different theater companies, has played the cowardly Lion, scarecrow, and Tin-man in the wizard of Oz

Assuming everything goes fine and dandy and the world doesn’t completely explode, following the events of this season the Kids still play TTRPGS weekly.

Scary loves Scott Pilgrim VS the World

Normal Cries at animal shelter commercials

Taylor loves strawberries

Link is really good at making spaghetti

Hermie is naturally a Ginger but since he’s dyed his hair so much it’s hard to tell

Scary Mains DryBones in Mario Kart because she likes the design, Hermie Plays Bowser or Peach depending on his mood, Normal Plays Princess Peach, Taylor Either Plays Mario or Wario and Lincoln plays Yoshi

[vinxwatches]

the adventure's of puss in boots

1.1 9 years old, tv show, but not bad in animation quality (at least from the . definitely themes that the last wish touch on as well (of course that'll be the strongest point of comparison). love that the fight in episode 1 ends with a massive bluff "i can't defeat all of you, but i can defeat one. so which one of you will die?"

1.2 travel through different horrific lands. "yes, my friend, this is going to suck". the kingdom of darkness: just a dark screen a noises of people stumbling, and then doing it multiple times. the humour is spot on. that's a damn cool sphinx design, and telling us something about the character while not being overly obvious while in 3d show based on a movie? now that's surprising. sad that she's not in the next one, probably never to return, which makes the quality of design even more surprising.

1.3 you know, it takes some skill to make a funny "i hate my wife" joke, but they pulled it of. "i can never say no to a woman" "please pay your bar tab" "no" have i pointed out that this show nails the humour yet? puss vs ninja's? funny. but apparently not enough. puss vs teenage overly buff ninja pigs? now we're talking. also this show loves being dark in it's humour. how how the mean lady is apparently often crying. i wonder if that'll ever get depth, or is ever mentioned again instead of just being one dark joke.

1.4 "what's it like inside your head?" "wet and bloody".... i mean you're not wrong. at this point i'm just trying to convince people to watch the show because the humour is great. "it's not scary, it's just a bag stuffed with old dolls' heads" so many blink and you'll miss it jokes. why does dismemberment follow me everywhere? seriously what the fuck is up with that? why is it suddenly everywhere? at least it's clean and well cared for. this old guy be horny, in a kidshow. how is this a 2015 show? "you are crazy. but this is not new information" "nope". also recurring villain maybe?

1.5 standard episode: life here is too boring and an interesting old friend comes to steal the hero, but turns out to be a villain. will they play it straight (probably, he's designed as a villain), or will they do something more interesting. way too deep a thought for a short scene: so the orphanage is putting on a fake adventure, the costunes are brought out, and the buys very shortly argue over who gets to be a princess, until it's revealed that everyone who wants to can be a princess. here's what makes it so interesting: there is no joke outside of "the intrinsic funniness of buys wanting to be princesses". now while this could of course be setup for transphobic jokes later this honestly feels like it's just scene setting, just quaint town life, and the opposite of transphobic. i'm sure we won't see a trans character in this show (probably the closest being a queer coded villain) but this is nice. a simple message that everyone gets to be a princess if they want. again very cool monster design. like i want to steal this for my dnd game good. kind of a giant geko with a huge mouth and a lure like some fish have but with a fake pretty lady looking thing instead. my point of comparison is the kong-fu panda tv show which has the issue that it was extremely limited to always using the same assets. this show keeps bringing out amazing new designs every episode so far. also the message is damn strong. also neat that the standard plot was only really plot setup, it's never actually part of the plot, it never really comes into play. and for a boring plot now following up can be the best thing. the joke is that everyone wanted to be a princes. nothing about gender, just everyone wanted to be the same thing, nice. seriously, how come i never heard anything of this show? 2015. i'm pretty sure i watched some cartoons in 2015. did it never make it's way on dutch tv? i mean i've also never seen anyone talk about it online, something i think i'll have to correct at some point.

1.6 softpaws? nope, just a black cat. also the return of the sphinx which makes me happy. interesting that we get the more visually interesting sphinx sister first. so i've been watching a lot of TBSkyen and now want to kind of do a visual interpretation video like he often does on these two sisters. how the firsts inks and piercings make her read kind of Egyptian, alongside the naked cat stylings, while also indicating individuality and complexity, and how the lack of those in her sister suggests that she's simpler, which is true. one tells riddles, the other just tries to kill you. fuck why is this show so full of great dnd ideas. many magical fountains, each with different effects, like reverse gravity, talking backwards, and needing to say a word to undo it, which is hard with talking backwards, or induces fall damage after falling upwards for a while. fuck it, list time: fountain of invisible spiders, fountain of nausea, fountain of fire, fountain of itchy feet, just a regular fountain.

1.7 this serious continues to confuse me in a positive way in not making transphobic jokes. girly scream from the cowardly mayor? ok, that's prime setup right? sure, but they don't make the joke, it's just a scream that doesn't match the character design, but that's part of the general joke of the character: he's a coward who often hides in a barrel, but he's a huge buff dude who wouldn't even fit in the barrel. you get what i mean? puss doesn't burst in saying "i'll save you my lady" and then haha is a dude. he just bursts in to save someone. another standard plot: convince someone they are brave by pretending they defeat something, they they get overconfident and find real trouble and learn to reign it in or fully return to the status quo, wonder how they'll do it. damn, they did the getting too confident straight, but put enough good jokes in the scene to not make it awkward (hard to avoid), not to see if they can do the rest well. making Dulcinea (the female polite cat) do it because puss is too tired helps. "it's ok buddy, i'll read it to you" "you're a cute friend" subversion of expectation and cute as fuck, these are the joke i love. oh no, the man travels with a shadow over his face in spite of physics, he's definitely evil. surprisingly polite to those he thinks unwell though. and the standard plot continues. going with the "hopes and dreams dashed, but then shows bravery for reals". yep that's basically exactly what they did, with one funny in concept but sadly meh in execution fightscene. this isn't an episode you watch for the end, you watch for the jokes which are amazing.

1.8 human shrek is on the cover of the romance novel. blink and you'll miss it and i love it. oh no, puss ate xanathar's fish, and is now hunted by a Sinnamon smelling golem. this is so stupid in the best way. classic way for things to gain a soul too, it's neat. and damn does it make for a neat episode.

1.9 "let me gaze upon your golden booty" "i am uncomfortable" yes i'm still trying to get you to watch the show. oh a dust devil, neat. and that it's a demon is accurate to how people used to think about them (to my knowledge the origin of djinn). i think that was the first reuse of an asset i noticed (if you ignore the bandits): a sceptre that was broken in a previous episode. this is not a negative, just impressive that it took this long to use the same asset for a similar thing. also love that Dulcinea's arc so far is getting angry, but not like in a bad way.

1.10 excalibur? ok, this is an interesting take. generally not the angle of a reluctant hero (fun dnd PC backstory?). and the classic puss being pretty lost when he can't be the hero... starts to feel a bit overdone, but how many things can you do with him? also the animation touches are very nice. is this a story about cheating? because it sounds like a story about cheating, and with someone not getting over their ex. also this episode has some crazy good action. also this sword has a problem with asparagus.

1.11 uhm, that's not what sphynx looks like. where are her inks and piercings? did they accidentally use the wrong model? "well, technically medicine is the best medicine, but laughter is cheaper". wait what!? the cow barlady used to be an assassin?! also is this an episode about racism? like this could turn sour quickly. also what i think is clever but also semi noticeable is a cost cutting measure (honestly i've been noticing it for a while): if things don't move they aren't actually rendered in 3d, instead a single render is made of them and then it's a flat image that animation is rendered on top of. now this makes total sense to do: it's a lot less rendering so everything will be faster, which is a necessity if it's a tv show with tv show budget with 15 episodes. it allows for backgrounds that are relatively detailed unlike other 3d shows which are very often very plain. but if things look slightly off to you this may be why. damn, mature talk about wanting to do things but not doing it. this show is crazy. also damn that's one evil mouse. at least the sphynx petrified is the correct model.

1.12 that's just a god damn goblin. like literally called a goblin. and visually think dnd goblin... wild. also this is just about racism. mostly a pretty standard episode, but pusses unwavering belief is nice. and if a new person joins the cast that would make it even better.

1.13 earlier today episode? can always be fun. oh, Dulcinea gets to have puss' standard problem: feeling like he's no longer needed, and thus no longer him, thus problem. "i'll even write all of the stories myself. i will use all of the words. so many words!" and suddenly puss is talking like fucking trump. when puss thinks Dulcinea may be in legal troubles he'll immediately start helping her out, because pull aint no snitch lol. well now this episode conflicts with the last wish. Puss being against wishing stars here but going after it then? well, there is of course desperation

1.14 mother Mary the cat? so it'll be a puss' pride episode. the episode didn't have any big fightscenes, so instead the focus was put on the final dance. odd, but really fun.

1.15 a curse of bad luck turning puss into a black cat, that's just neat. wild that i had nothing more to say about it despite it being the last episode of season 1. oh well, on to season 2 i guess.

[lmelodie]

Back Together BlackIce things Pt. 2

Late night posting addition. Part one is Right Here. Will there be a part three? Four even? Depends on how long their gonna rot my brain for. We'll see.

I just wanna inform everyone that the only way the scenario would go concerning a BlackIce, Who Did This to You? moment would be one asking this and the other responding like: YOU DID ASSHOLE! DO YOU SERIOUSLY NOT REMEMBER THIS??

And the other who asked has to go like: ….Oh! Oh yeah! Huh. Die mad about it then >:|

My Worst Nightmare (affectionate)

Since they first knew each other, Jack has been ADAMANT, whole heartedly believes, that there's an audible difference between Killian laughing WITH him vs. AT him. He says he can hear the subtle difference but everyone else thinks he's crazy.

Conversations involving catching up about all the things that have happened in the past 910 yrs.

K: So yeah, I did get my leg caught in a bear trap once and that was pretty wild.

J: YOU DID WHAT??

-----------------------

J: Did I ever tell you that I was kidnapped by pirates once?

K: Did I ever tell you that I was a pirate once

J: Doesn't surprise me. You do look like you contracted scurvy a while ago and still hasn't been able to get rid of it.

You bet your sweet ASS that Jack takes full advantage of that stupid fucking scarf he always wears. That shits ALWAYS getting yanked.

There will be the very occasional snow on Halloween. Jack uses this as a very blatant lie of an excuse to visit Kills on the job during the holiday.

They both STILL hold a grudge on Cupid. Stupidly in love once again and they still hate his guts. They tried complaining about it to him once and Cupid goes:

"Oh, so what I'm hearing is that you wanna break up YET AGAIN!? You wanna fall out of love twice, fuckers? Because I can make that happen! I can take all that away again right now. Stop running ya mouths."

The both of them never brought it up again after that.

👏Making👏up👏with👏the👏Mother's👏in👏Law👏

Mostly Jack is the one with the uphill climb on that front. Duna hates his GUTS and there is such a minute microscopic chance of her coming around to him again. And the image of Jack absolutely floundering about trying to win over this woman is amazing.

At some point Killian goes: "Dude, it's not gonna work. I expected this and it's fine that she doesn't like you."

And Jack goes: "It is NOT fine. I WILL win her over somehow and she WILL like me!"

Spoiler alert: She doesn't.

WINTER STREETS/FORESTS AT NIGHT!!!

It's their whole vibe and they love hanging out in those areas in the dead of night in the middle of winter. Because ugh it's freezing cold, it's scary dark, there is no one around and it's completely uninhabitable and miserable. But not to them!! They are probably the only ones who will find such a scenario thoroughly enjoyable and romantic even.

Killian, along with not being able to slow dance, also can't ice skate! He's never learned, so Jack abuses this 100% and has frozen many lakes to force him out on. It's the same thing as the dancing where it's one of the rare instances that he's more dependent on him. Ego boost of the century.

PLUS, MORE BED SHARING DIATRIBES! Because it's my new favorite thing

They don't sleep in the same bed often. Jack only needs to sleep every couple days and Kills every week, so it's only occasionally that this happens at all.

There is no one designated big/little spoon. They switch on almost a daily basis. They're both switches. It's just a matter of who initiates first that day.

BUT! Killian does sleep with his eyes open. So as long as Jack is not directly facing him as he's trying to sleep, it's all good.

It's a nonnegotiable requirement that Kills sleeps with the heated blanket. If he doesn't, he will get hypothermia in the night and will complain about it for the entire rest of the following day.

The night always starts of very normal, but as they sleep, they just get more and more tangled up. And it's WORSE because Killian's joints can bend in impossible ways, so they wake up the next morning absolutely MANGELED and in a mess of limbs.

[alovelyburn]

I was wondering who your top five favorite Berserk characters are and why you like them? My bad if you’ve gotten this ask before.

Not in a few years! 1-3 are easy for me, it just gets tough after that because at that point there are a lot of characters I like without any of them standing out as particularly more amazing than the others.

...this is very long.

Guts Despite I guess being more of a vocal Griffith advocate, Guts is actually my favorite character not just in Berserk but in Manga as a whole, and arguably in..... fiction. I mean I can't think of anyone I like more offhand, anyway. As for why... I'm generally fond of the kind of character that he is: a complex personality with a lot of heavy issues, rage and emotional struggles. If you look at any media with a Guts-like character I probably like them - Auron, Senji Kiyomasa, Jason Todd, whatever, they're just my kind of thing but Guts is really the granddaddy of that type and he's more nuanced and interesting than any of the other ones I've personally run across. Jason kind of skirts close sometimes but it depends on the writer... and Western franchise comics are just less consistent by nature. There's also the Punisher but he's a homicidal maniac.

So, even though I like this type in general, it's sort of rare that they're the actual protagonist right, like usually the protagonist is some teenager and the broody complicated guy is like the mentor, or a scary guy they have to deal with or, in the case of a romance usually the love interest. That doesn't stop them from being fun characters that I like, but it does tend to limit how much exploration they get.

I appreciate that he's a protagonist who isn't always a nice or admirable person - that he makes mistakes and hates himself for it, that he sees his own monstrousness and struggles to control it and sometimes gives in to it (or even makes use of it). And the coexistence of his sometimes seemingly contradictory traits - his protectiveness vs the way he hurts people, his desire to belong vs his tendency to abandon, his insecurity and his cocky swag, his uncertainty vs his steel will - also makes for a multifaceted personality. Miura said he designed characters with a mind toward what they'd bring out in Guts and as a result, Guts has a lot brought out in him, I guess. Generally speaking the more complicated a character is the more interested I'll be in them anyway. This is something that's going to come up with Griffith as well, but I also have an attraction to moral ambiguity. I genuinely believe he's capable of being just as cruel, just as monstrous, as Griffith ever was (and vice versa) - and in a lot of ways we've already seen him do that - it's just that I guess a lot of people don't register it that way because his specific priorities better align with their sympathies and also he's the protagonist so people will tend to side with him anyway. But that... doesn't change that he's a person who will use a child as monster bait, or that he sexually assaulted a woman he's supposed to be protecting, or that he let the pilgrim camps around the tower of conviction get sucked into hell in order to get his ex back. It doesn't change that he's selfish and cruel sometimes.

Traditionally I also tend to be drawn to characters who kind of defy I guess stereotypical gender...norms? Guts in a lot of ways is a classic masculine type, but I appreciate that he isn't the no-emo badass that, I guess, he gets perceived as by some people. I love that he cries more than most of the characters in the series, or that his primary motivation is heartbreak over Griffith betraying him. That his rage is more cope than anything else.

I always say he'd reconcile with Griffith if he had a chance, as we know, but if you think about it that's kind of a dick move, I mean Griffith did feed the Hawks to demons and rape Casca in front of him. But that doesn't mean I dislike that I feel he'd do it, on the contrary, that just makes his emotional workings more interesting to me because it's a little desperate and sad, and a little selfish and monstrous, and I think he'd... know that it was a dick move and that he's a little pathetic for being willing to do it. And I think he'd struggle with it and hate himself for it. But I still think he'd do it. Which is interesting to me.

I also love that he's not motivated by romance. It's a rare gem of a thing, and I mean I do obviously believe he has romantic feelings for both Casca and Griffith, but even with that being the case I don't think his romantic feelings for either are his true motivators - he's not attached to Casca just because she's the woman he was planning to be with, he's attached to her because she represents the Hawks in his head. And while his feelings for Griffith have a romantic component I do think it's just one color in a massive storm of feelings. I always think Griffith is in love with Guts, whereas Guts loves Griffith which includes also having romantic feelings for him but it's not necessarily the primary driving force in those feelings.

Also, I really love a stone-cold badass. I've never been a person who automatically gloms onto the underdog, I guess; I know a lot of people are inherently turned off by overpowered characters or characters who rarely lose or whatever, but that just doesn't bother me, I love watching a character cut through an army solo, it's just fun for me.

Along the same lines, I love that he's relentless and can't and won't be stopped. This is kind of an interesting one because I feel like for a lot of people a big chunk of his appeal is that he is always kind of struggling against larger forces and he gets fucked up and he takes hits but keeps going. Whereas for me, the part that appeals to me is just... that he keeps going, whether that means fighting and fighting and never taking a hit or taking hits and getting back up is less important to me than the fact that he's always continuing to go.

And I like the way he mouths off to gods and demons.

Griffith Even though Guts is my favorite, I do actually think Griffith is Miura's master creation. The subtlety of his characterization, the ambiguity that sometimes ripples back just enough to reveal the edge of this vast and complicated personality and the way the reader is left to connect the dots is really fascinating to me - though I do wish people were better about connecting the dots instead of drawing over them.

I say this a lot, but Griffith is the one who actually embodies the reasons I love Berserk the work itself, the world, the philosophy behind it, etc. That someone like him can break is evidence that anyone can break. That someone as good as he is can be cruel is evidence that anyone can be cruel. That someone as terrible as he is can be kind is evidence that anyone can be kind. He encompasses the breadth and depth of humanity in Berserk's world, in all its beauty and all its hideousness.

I love every Griffith, though I do think all of them are distinct in their own ways.

During the Hawks Era, there is a certain innocence to him that persists despite the things he sees and does. He is... childish, I mean honestly, when I think about Griffith in the Golden Age this is maybe the main thing that comes to mind? Because he can be the adult in the room, he can be the genius strategist, the brilliant combatant, he can be serious when he needs to but these are all roles, and when his guards are down (mostly around Guts) his reserve melts and he's expressive and silly and playful and ultimately his self-image is literally that of a barefoot child.

That kind of informs a certain earnest purity that comes through in the way he sees the world and the feelings he has about things or people, and the specifics of the ambitions he holds. Even some of the things that people use against him - the piles of corpses you could say - are things that by the standard of the day really aren't anything he needs to feel bad about, but he's tormented by them to the point where guilt ultimately becomes arguably the driving force behind his actions more than the original ambition that created those corpses to begin with.

I think in the end, what drove Hawks Griffith was still a kind of kid looking at the castle kind of idealism - the dream of self-discovery intermingled with the yearning to build the kind of world that wouldn't make people go through the things he did. The issue is that in a more realistic world, as Berserk has tended to be (magic and stuff aside), that is hard to sustain.

You know what he reminds me of? For anyone familiar with Fate/ there's a thing about Artoria/Saber where she became a martyr to her own Kingdom because she ended up living for the country and sacrificing for the country which made her increasingly dehumanized and Gilgamesh, charmer that he is, realizes she's trying to carry the world on her shoulders he basically determines that she's inevitably going to be crushed under the weight of her own self-imposed burden, which he thinks is hot. Aside from the hotness of it, that always reminded me of Hawks Griffith - the way he tried to carry the Hawks on his back and never let them see that he was imperfect, the way he lived to maintain that image so they had something to believe in, and the way it strained the man underneath.

And that! Is! FASCINATING, look as much as I love Guts for being basically made of steel, I also love Griffith for not being as mentally resilient as Guts is - in fact so many of the reasons I glommed onto Griffith are the direct opposite of reasons I love Guts - so much of Griffith's character is driven by his feelings for Guts, especially during the Golden Age, and I find that to be just as fascinating as Guts' romantic ambivalence. In so many ways Griffith seems larger than life and inhumanly perfect - invincible like he can withstand anything, but all that strength can't hold him up when his heart breaks. In the end its his fragile human heart that is his downfall every time. And the breakable interior underneath his epic hero exterior makes for an interesting cocktail.

This is getting too long so I'm going to try to be brief with Neo - obviously he embodies the larger cosmic themes of Berserk even more than Hawks Griffith does - but I also find him fascinating as the fallout from everything that went on with Hawks Griffith. Because Griffith tried so hard to be a person who lived for his dreams and wasn't battered about by his emotions but he couldn't manage it and so when he's remade in the image he desires he becomes the thing he wanted to be, and its beautiful and epic and inspiring but also kind of hollow and sad. Griffith lives in the fallout from making the wish with the consequences he didn't expect, and it's interesting because it's not wholly clear how much he realizes what he's lost - how much he feels it - until the external imposition of factors that bring his emotions back full force for those shreds of time between transformations.

Farnese She's been my third favorite for... ages. That said, she's not Guts or Griffith so I don't have as much to say about her. I just think she's an interesting character - the changes that take place in her as she tries to reinvent herself are really cool to me.

If you line the events we know up chronologically you get a pretty cohesive story about this emotionally abandoned girl who cycles through various forms of trying to locate herself and her place in the world and forming kind of frantic dependencies on various copium flavors until she is ultimately forced to face the lie that her life had been, at which point she has to start over from nothing. I think that's a cool and very human story. Also, it's interesting to me to see this person who, when we first meet her, seems so powerful (in a political sense) and determined have all those masks torn down until you see the terrified lost person inside all the trappings... and then to see her build herself back up, but in the way she chooses and through the means she desires, having finally been untethered from the obligation and demands of her family or the church.

Farnese is kind of a normal person to me, you know? Like Guts and Griffith are Epic Heroes - they're Made Differently in that heroic form. And people like Serpico are kind of skirting the edges between normal and epic - I'd call him kind of a normal hero as opposed to an epic hero and then there's Farnese who is very cool yes, but ultimately also a basically normal person. And watching her grow and adjust in this world that is deeply hostile to normal people - not just the Berserk world as a whole but the specific path that she goes onto by following Guts - is A+ entertainment for me. It also makes her admirable, because she was born to such extreme wealth and could have had such an easy life if she decided to put her tail between her legs and run home, but she didn't.

So... yeah I mean I think it's a good arc.

From here the short list was Charlotte, Serpico, Zodd and Rickert.

Charlotte I talked a lot about why I like her so much pretty recently, but to quickly recap... I enjoy watching her develop from a sheltered shy shrinking violet into someone who is, while still very gentle and quiet, far stronger and more resilient than one would have expected. I love that she has these progressive views - I assume she got most of them from her father who was quite progressive as well before he lost his damn mind, but it means she and Griffith are aligned on a lot of political views.The risks she takes to save Griffith, the way she loves him even when he's lost everything and can't talk anymore, the way she's able to fight off the King without assistance and protect herself for the year that follows... it works for me. She's a different type of character than someone like Guts or even someone like Farnese, and of course she doesn't get a lot of screentime since she's a relatively small character, but I've seen a lot of growth in her. I also think she's adorable and her romantic fantasy version of the world is kind of... just. Interesting. It's interesting when one character is in a different genre of story than everyone else, I don't know.

Rickert He stole Zodd's spot. Mostly because I always like that "last of the old Guard" type of character, and I find his emotional struggle where Griffith is concerned really interesting. In a lot of ways it echoes Guts' struggle, albeit without the UST. The bit where he smacked Griffith - that whole scene and everything leading up to and after it, is one of my favorite parts of the series - I love that despite knowing what Griffith has done, he still wavered on the edge of whether to stand with him or not. I also love that he decided not to, and that at the same time he still holds his reverence and love for the Griffith who used to be, even though he can't accept the Griffith who is. Even then after that, he's still reluctant to believe Griffith would have him killed - which I think he's right to doubt, because I'm so sure it was Locus who did that. Anyway, he doesn't do much - rather he does a fair amount but he does it in spurts and then vanishes for years at a time - but I'm always glad to see him when he shows up.

Serpico is still on the edge for me right now, but I've been warming to him more during the current reread, I guess because I had to think about him more than I normally do. So I wouldn't be shocked if he eventually overtook Charlotte or Rickert - not sure which. I just need to see more of him/think more about him to get a sense of where he falls for me.

I also think that if we get the full backstory on Skull Knight and Void there is a high chance that they'll just knock the bottom two off entirely and give me a legitimately solid Top 5 instead of, honestly, a Top 3 + extras.

[sheltershock]

Sashamilla is such a nice ship. I just want to gush about my otp, so sorry if this isn’t organized as neatly as it could be. But thinking about them, their dynamic, and how they’re portrayed just gives me so much hope and makes me feel happy. Like suddenly throughout my day I’ll just break out into a big, goofy smile and that’s just nice. 

Also: warning, this is a long text post. 

I like how we get personally introduced to each of them separately, and that they get to be their own characters first and possibly in a relationship second. In the first game we get to meet Sasha, get a feel for his personality, run experiments, explore his mind, discover his traumas, and then get directed towards Milla. Sasha’s a complete, standalone character with personality, quirks, and a backstory by the end of his level without any mention of romantic relationships. And then we meet Milla. We don’t get as much time with her, but that’s because she shined more in the opening of the game. She’s already established with her job as an international secret agent, we see her character design which is colorful with lots of circular/spiral patterns, and we see that she’s motherly, kind and responsible. And then we enter her mind and get both  an expansion of that and a subversion. She's a bubbly party girl who’s always pumping everyone up, and has probably one of the most tragic backstories in fiction. Although her trauma memory vault is hidden, it is 100% accessible before her second one even if you’re playing the game for the first time. So before you get to her second memory vault you get her personality, a few quirks(overprotectiveness w/ the explanation of why), and her super depressing backstory. She’s a stand-alone character. And only after we have two complete standalone characters do we get to see her second memory vault where we get the implication that they’re both in love with each other.

But both of them have already been built up so well that they got time to be their own characters instead of simply being “X’s love interest.” It prevents this problem that happens in a lot of heterosexual couples in media where often it’ll just be one full character split into two roles. So the couple “completes” each other, because neither character was actually a complete character to begin with. I actually have a bit of a distaste to the idea of “completing each other” in romance, and I heavily dislike how it’s leaked into real life in the form of “your other half.” You are your own person, and absolutely complete as yourself. I like the terminology of “complimenting” instead of “completing,” specifically in the analogy of color theory. For example the colors red and green. You can make an entire painting in just shades of red or just shades of green and no other colors and it’s a complete painting. But if you put red and green together, it looks really nice because they’re complimentary colors. People in romantic relationships should compliment each other, rather than complete them. 

Sasha and Milla absolutely compliment each other as a couple. It helps that they’re clearly apart of the “opposites attract” trope, but the literary term would be a foil. They are so badly and fully themselves that they can’t help but highlight the other person’s qualities. Control vs. Chaos. Monotone vs. Colorful. Flat vs. Expressive. Logical vs. Emotional. But the reason they compliment each other so well is because it isn’t as easy to say that they’re just opposites, because they’re also extremely alike. For example, you can’t say that Sasha is emotionless, cold and uncaring. You just can’t. Milla is absolutely emotional, warm and friendly, but you can’t say that Sasha is the opposite of that. Firstly, because emotional baggage exists in his mind, which would imply, y’know, emotion. He sympathizes with Raz enough to step up to be his mentor, and when he believes Raz has mistaken a “scary, flaming-eyed demon” for a Censor, he doesn’t berate Raz for wasting their time, but just gently encourages that problems often seem larger in our heads, and that it’s alright. And in Rhombus of Ruin, Sasha tries extremely hard to be as comforting as possible to Lili, to the point that he actively tries to imitate Milla with slow speech, a softer tone of voice, and even throwing in a “darling” at the end. 

The same can be applied vice versa, too. Sasha is clearly a smart, intellectual character. But Milla can’t be called stupid. Except for the times where she is literally brainless, she proves herself to be really smart and capable. She can easily put herself in other’s shoes to identify problems, she knows how to read ripples in emotional oceans and trace its source, she’s extremely knowledgeable about children and their development, and in RoR she can rally the Psychonaut team from their emotionally charged, personal tasks to work together to achieve a goal. Milla isn’t stupid. She just has a different version of intelligence. Instead of Sasha’s logical-mathematical intelligence, Milla has really high emotional/interpersonal intelligence. And that’s the beauty of complimentary characters, that lean towards comparing and contrasting. 

Speaking about how Sasha and Milla compliment each other…well, they compliment each other. Literally. Their version of flirting is just them hyping each other up. Which is really cute. Complimenting their work ethic, ideas they come up with, talents and abilities, etc. Never in the games do they really talk about the other’s physical appearance. Which makes sense since they’re both psychic. But it’s refreshing to see a relationship where both people value their personality and talents instead of physical attraction. The famous scene in PN2 where they are both inching close in way that’s so obvious that they’re going to kiss, they’re talking about how fucking talented and good at their jobs they are. 

Since we see that this is how they flirt with each other, you can actually go backwards in the series and see that they’ve been kind of doing it for all three games. In RoR, when Sasha suggests the idea of tracking a constellation, Milla says “oooh~ great idea, Sasha!” Or in the first game when Sasha refers to Milla as “one of the world’s foremost levitators,” which Raz repeats to Milla as “the most powerful levitator the Psychonauts had.” And Milla’s response for her tone to get really soft and go “Sasha said that? Really? I didn’t know he noticed…” Which, uh, they went on multiple missions together and she’s in the air for most of them. I think he noticed. Then Raz goes on to say that he only works with the best teachers and Milla calls him a flirt. But armed with the knowledge from the sequel that they’re literally always talking to each other, and can do so while having a different conversation, I personally like to think that she was referring to both of them as a flirt. 

And that’s another thing, they’re always talking to each other. Which communication, yay! And it also hints that they like each other enough that they always want to be available for conversation. But surprisingly, when this is revealed in PN2, I think it’s the first time a two-way telepathy connection has been brought up. Of course, characters have been projecting their thoughts into Raz’s mind during all three games, but in these scenarios, Raz always responds out loud. You’d think in an organization of psychics, this kind of two-way communication is normal, but it isn’t? When Sasha, Milla and Hollis go on the casino mission, they’re using radios to communicate. Out loud. Radios. This is a stealth mission and they picked a type of communication where you have to vocally express your thoughts? At one point Milla is saying into her earpiece, “I’m approaching the front desk, I’ll distract the clerks.” That’s not something you want to be saying out loud, within earshot of the target you’re going to distract. Of course the argument can be made that this choice was because the interns were coming and they needed to hear what good correspondence sounds like. But there’s got to be a more effective, less life threatening method right? Unless, of course, that two way mental links aren’t very common. 

Projecting yourself into a mind doesn’t seem to be very hard, but manipulating the mental world does. Within all the games, Raz has to play each level and mind by its own rules. The same is probably true in the real world, that each mind is different and has its own vibe and rules. Solutions that worked in previous worlds are viable in new ones. For example, in Hollis’ mind you have to disconnect the ideas of money and risk to destroy the Lady Lucktopus. Bob’s mind seems to work with a similar boss idea, each plant represents a person in his life that has caused pain, and realizing that his view of them determines if they’re a monster. So if Raz really wanted to optimize his therapy speedrun, all he’d have to do is disconnect whatever thoughts Bob has with these people. But that’s not the solution, Bob has to do the disconnect himself. Like Hollis said, the Psychonauts are there to help people fight their own demons. Because it’s almost like trying to go in and manually changing someone’s mind usually fails in some way, because everyone’s mind works differently. 

What I’m trying to say is that psychically linking two people is probably extremely difficult. You probably need to have a good understanding of each other, get on each other’s wavelength, etc. The only other time something like that has happened was with the Meat Circus, which was terrible, and multiple characters said that untangling Raz’s and Oleander’s minds would be difficult. So thinking about how Milla’s and Sasha’s minds are linked in such a way that they can communicate without it going horribly wrong is extremely impressive. Especially with how stated previously that they’re really different from each other. But seeing how they can get on the same wavelength, it again shows how similar they actually are. It seems really symbolic of a healthy relationship. 

I don’t really know what else to necessarily say. They have their own identities, they compliment each other, they have subversive banter, they’re psychically linked and are probably really good at communication. Just watching them being in a relationship is cute. Even if the games don’t make it clear what exactly their relationship is. They love and appreciate each other for being themselves, and that’s just so hopeful and adorable to me. 

[vmures]

I was tagged by the lovely @keldjinfae and asked to list my top 10 movies. It's always a struggle to pick a top ten, but here are my current top ten in no particular order.

Sliding Doors - Fantastic movie with a great soundtrack. I love the way it explores the ideas of parallel universes and the what ifs around our daily choices and experiences. It's just so damn good.

Spirited Away - I'm a huge Alice in Wonderland fan and this has very similar vibes. It's also so much more than a trip through a strange world. It's a story of growing up, of loss, of finding yourself, and figuring out who you are. Miyasaki's films are always so beautiful, but this remains one of my all time favorites out of his works.

The Princess Bride - there are very few perfect movies out there, and this happens to be one of them in my mind. It's a wonderful blend of romance, humor, adventure, whimsy, and fantasy.

The Last Unicorn - while the Red Bull terrified me the first time I saw this as a kid, the movie itself remains one of my all time favorites. The art is gorgeous, the soundtrack so beautiful and fitting, and the story is such a good one.

Lilo and Stitch - this is just such a great movie. As someone who was a weird little child, Lilo resonated deeply with me. And the whole theme of family, both blood and chosen, gets me every time.

Star Wars (the original trilogy) - I enjoyed the prequels and sequels well enough, but it's the original three that remain my favorites. Such a huge part of my childhood and just so much fun.

The Lord of the Rings trilogy - these were such a love letter to the books and it shows in ever aspect. The cast was perfectly chosen, the locations were amazing, the set, costume design, special effects, and soundtrack were all crafted just right to suit the film and the story. Like the books, it is a powerful story and in some ways I think the movie version hits a bit harder. I still love the books, but I love the movies just as much.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil - I tend towards comedy-horror and dark comedy over pure horror in general. This one is both an amazing horror film and a great comedy. It's also a very sweet story in a lot of ways. My all time favorite thing about it is that it turns the whole scary redneck/hillbilly/country folk think on its head. As someone who grew up in the rural south and whose kin are very much country folk, I really appreciated that aspect a whole hell of a lot.

Atlantis: The Lost Empire - I tried to avoid listing too many Disney movies, but this one is such an underrated Disney film. Cute archeology/history nerd plus band of misfits plus otherworldly and amazing woman plus well done villains and a great adventure backdrop just make this just a fun film. If you've never seen it, I highly recommend giving it a chance.

The Martian - this goddamn movie makes me cry over potatoes. That said, it's a great film filled with science, snappy jokes, heartwrenching scenes, and a fabulous cast. Plus Sean Bean gets to live! And he gets to explain a LoTR reference, which always delights me.