#as always anyone is free to correct me if i've said something wrong

[tonythr]

The Watcher's telescope view is a social commentary and here's why

Ok so let's set some things right first. City of Tears is amazing.

(Yes, Pale Court is also an amazing mod)

I've played Hollow Knight many times, and City of Tears is probably the one location I never get tired of. The scenery, the lore, the room layout, the music, the atmosphere - it's all perfect. It's the culmination of Halllownest's beauty, the peak of the game's art style, and the narrative's most essential location. City of Tears is the heart of Hollow Knight.

This game is a story about a Kingdom and its death, a tragedy of a society that was built on dreams of light but ultimately was consumed by the light so much that darkness became its only hope. And City of Tears stands at the center of this story. So it's fitting that the themes of corrupted dreams, society flaws, and dark hopes are what shape the lore and atmosphere of this beautiful, gorgeous location.

Did you ever notice that the tears of this Kingdom are dark despite them originating in a glowing blue lake, and the waters that flood the streets are almost as dark as the void in the Abyss? Do you ever think about how the vibrant blue color of the City is basically a culmination of how the color blue is presented in other locations (Howling Cliffs, Forgotten Crossroads, and later Royal Waterways being more of a remix of it), and how it's tied to the very essence of Hallownest (and how Resting Grounds, the location that contains Blue Lake and also uses a bright blue color, represent the very foundation of Hallownest's history, that being Seer's story about the Moth Tribe's betrayal that started the war between Pale King and the Radiance)? Do you feel like Soul Master basically represents the thunder and the lightning in this never-ending rain? Do you get it????

Anyway yeah, there are many things that can be said about City of Tears, and this is hopefully not the last time I make a post about it. What I want to talk about here is the City's society.

Basically, Monomon said it better than anyone could:

It's a very complicated topic. The narrative basically explores the inner mechanisms of a free mind, how its primary need is finding a purpose, and how its purpose turns out to be a constant need of... something. Anything. As long as there is something to want, a free mind will want it. As long as there is something to yearn for, something to enjoy, something to dream about, our minds are going to move in its direction, never wanting to stop. Because a stasis is worse than death. Because a world without dreams is an empty world.

But then again, isn't constant yearning another instance of, well, constance? If dreams never end but also never evolve, doesn't that create another kind of stasis?

Like I said, it's very complicated. Let's go back to what I was getting at in the first place. What I actually wanted to say is this:

Theese guys fucking fucked up as a society.

It's classic dystopian shit (or maybe I'm using the wrong word, but you get the point). Rich people are living in luxury while the rest are suffering. They're making gold a fucking religion and are seeing it as the only beauty in the world. The corrupt upper class are using heavy gatekeeping on the lower class.

Literally.

What's interesting is that, at first, we barely see any lower class bugs in the City. There's suspiciously few regular husks in this location, compared to how many rich guys are on the eastern side. But then we get to Soul Sanctum and it all starts to make sense.

There are no red cloaks in those corpse piles. Only the poor were killed for those experiments. It can't be a coincidence. It's straight-up elitism-based genocide (again, I don't know if I'm using the right terms, correct me if there's a better way to say that, but the point is clear).

Also, see how many streets are flooded on the western side in comparison to the eastern side.

Point is, the bugs that ruined the kingdom by always wanting more (what Monomon wrote about) are most likely theese rich ones. It's a very fitting thing for this dystopian narrative: neverending greed that leads to the downfall of a civilization.

There's a note in the Hunter's Journal that describes it in the best way possible:

For every location in the game, there is a place that functions as the center of its essence, its narrative heart, the culmination of its themes. For Queen's Gardens it's the White Lady's cocoon, for Greenpath it's the Lake of Unn, and for City of Tears (or at least its eastern part, the one with the upper class) it's the Watcher's Spire. The tallest building of the great capital. The home of (evidently) the most rich and influential bug of the City's high society. Literally the top of this social hierarchy.

He is also arguably the most mysterious dreamer out of all three. I mean, why does he have only one eye? What type of bug is he? How did he get this much power? Does he really have some kind of connection with the Collector? Is he a motherfucking fluke? Why does he seem to have an obsession with serving the King?

That last question is kinda answered by the cut content though.

That last sentence is kinda confusing. Is it regret? Is it humility? Is it pride in his sacrifice? In any case, here we see that Lurien actually knew that the Pale King was literally a god, and desired to worship him, like any other bug yearns to worship some kind of deity. So while other bugs of Hallownest worshiped PK because he was a monarch, albeit a godlike one (for all they knew he could be just an extraordinary bug, but a bug nonetheless), Lurien worshiped him as an actual god. And the intricacies of worshiping a god are one of the central themes of the game. From the moth tribe's betrayal of Radiance leading to the birth of the Infection to the Godseeker's shenanigans leading to the birth of the Shade Lord - the game makes multiple statements about gods, religious devotion and the semantics of divine power. Just that one idea that a god takes its power from the ones that worship it deserves its own post - heck, it deserves its own book.

So yeah, Lurien's devotion to the King is an important part of the story. He sure is an important character in this narrative. He also got a cool house. Being able to observe the entirety of the Hallownest's capital is badass.

But there's one thing I find odd about all that, and it's the moment we get to actually look through his legendary telescope.

Is it just me, or does this feel kinda... Underwhelming? Almost disappointing? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love this view, it's beautiful, and I would certainly love to be able to see something like this with my own eyes irl, but, looking at this picture, I can't help but wonder...

Did he actually see anything from up there?

In cut dialogue, Lurien talks about how he loves the City's streets, and his hidden lore tablet contains words about his love for bugkind, but... I see neither any streets on this image, nor any bugs (that are not vengeflies). Only spiked rooftops and rainy fog, clouding the view of the actual City.

And sure, the Spire has many windows and even had multiple watchers who were helping Lurien with overseeing the capital...

But his own spot was always this one.

His telescope was sealed in one place, letting him see only a small portion of the City and its life. Almost like his own worldview was stuck in one perspective.

Notice the wording here. It's not "The Seals must remain". It's "Bonds must remain". He's not thinking just about the Seals containing the Infection. He's thinking about the whole Kingdom needing to stay unchanged. His dream is the stasis that the Knight (and also Monomon, Hornet and, in a sense, even Radiance) want to end. The stasis that the Pale King wanted to create in order for his Kingdom (and therefore himself) to be eternal. The stasis that would allow for both Pale King and Lurien's worship of him to remain forever.

But there is always a cost to ascending higher than others, and it's that you can no longer see what's going on below or who's suffering down there. I think Lurien, sitting atop the tallest tower, was actually detached from the struggles of regular bugs. He and his Spire are the culmination of the City's upper class' ignorance towards the ones who were below them on the social hierarchy. A dreamer who dreamt of watching over the very heart of the holy civilization lived so high up he could no longer see his beloved world in its complicated, detailed entirety – and the tears of the stasis created by those like him only blinded him more.

All those flooded streets, those broken buildings, those empty halls, those starving bugs, those sealed doors - even though he watched over them, he couldn't see them.

I'm pretty sure Lurien didn't even know about the Soul Master's experiments, despite the fact that the Soul Sanctum was located right next to his Spire.

Or maybe he knew but chose to turn a blind eye to it (pun intended).

But it's kind of poetic, isn't it? It's the beauty of the tragedy of this game's characters. A Beast who had to surrender everything to the opposing civilization. A Teacher who could no longer teach. A Watcher who couldn't see the truth.

And all that makes me wonder... How much suffering could the Pale King see, standing on that platform at the top of the Abyss, facing away from the pit where his children died?

TL;DR: Lurien's point of view was too high up to actually see what was truly going on down there, both literally and metaphorically. His desire to worship the Pale King made him ignorant of the struggles of regular bugs. Similarly, the extreme elitism of the high society of Hallownest lead to ignorance, discrimination and greed, which ultimately caused the sprawl of the Infection. This side of Lurien's story might also parallel the Pale King's with his ignorance towards the discarded vessels.

TL;DR²: Eat the rich

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Naughty fantasies | 500 follower special 🖤

Pairing | Boyfriend!Avenger!Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Avenger!Fem!Reader

Word count | 2.5K

Summary | Bucky recently discovered a specific fantasy he's been wanting to fulfill. Even though you two have never experimented with roleplaying before, you're instantly on board when he brings up the idea of a Student/Teacher roleplay. It's just not the way you had initially thought...

Warnings | Established relationship ~ boyfriend/girlfriend, use of nickames ~ Doll, Baby Boy, Baby

Smut | Porn with some plot, Bucky watching porn, implied male masturbation, oral ~ M&F receiving, deepthroating, student/teacher roleplay, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), Sub!Bucky Barnes at first, but later he takes back control.

A/n | Firstly, I want to apologize that this has taken so long to be posted, life got in the way and with Fluffcember going on too it was hard for me to find the time to write this. But it's here now, and I hope you will all enjoy it! This is written as a thank you and celebration for reaching 500 followers; this one has been chosen by all of you! 🩵

A/n 2.0 | This is proofread by the amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917, for which I am truly grateful! I also believe this was based on a post from @notafunkiller a while back (please correct me if I'm wrong and it wasn't you!) about wanting to see a student/teacher fic with student Bucky, so I hope this will fulfill at least a little bit of that craving 👀🩵

Events Masterlist | 2. ''Don't tell anyone'' | @the-slumberparty

Banners: @vase-of-lilies | Divider: @firefly-graphics | GIF: Owner

Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

You've been away on a solo mission for the last three weeks, meaning your boyfriend, Bucky, has been looking for a different way to meet his needs. Not in the form of another woman, but in the form of his fist while watching porn.

The idea of porn was very foreign to Bucky at first, but he has always been curious about it. When he truly couldn't take it anymore, he decided to ask you since there's no one else he trusts more with such a sensitive topic than you.

''Doll? Could you come here for a moment?'' Bucky asks as he's seated on his bed, and you're getting ready for a girls' night out with Nat and Wanda.

You just put on your outfit for the night, and once your heels are on, you're ready to go. During this entire time, Bucky had watched you like a hawk, enjoying every curve of your body when you changed and pouting when you told him you couldn't stay.

If it were up to him, he would have you under him the entire night, making each other cum so many times you don't remember your name, let alone where one person begins and the other ends. But no, you couldn't cancel girls' night again.

''Is everything okay?'' you ask as you walk over to him, putting your hand on his thigh as you look at him with a curious gaze.

''Everything's perfect, but I've been... wondering about something,'' he starts, his voice trailing near the end and a blush creeping onto his cheeks. 

Your eyebrows are slightly raised out of curiosity, and your mind is going a mile a minute as you're trying to think of what could be swirling around in his brain. The following sentence is most definitely not on the list of things to even cross your mind, let alone his.

''Where can I watch porn?'' he said it like it was the most casual thing in the world, like someone asking what's for dinner that night. You nearly choked on your saliva, and after your coughing fit, you looked at him to make sure you heard him correctly.

It turns out that you did.

''Are you okay, Doll? I can ask someone else-'' ''No! I can show you!''

It was unexpected, yes, but you didn't want to give Bucky the feeling that you'd think he was weird or that you weren't okay with explaining these things, too. They're only natural, after all.

And that's how you found yourself explaining to Bucky where he can find free porn, and he has been exploring the wonderful world of online porn.

Ever since that night, he has watched porn a couple of times, usually only when you're away on long missions like you are now. He's been watching one of his usual videos when he stumbles upon something he's never seen before that instantly piques his interest.

Student/Teacher roleplay. After that first video, he has been going down an entire rabbit hole of roleplay porn, but he noticed he gets the most satisfaction from the student/teacher dynamic.

Somewhere along the way, he found out about the dynamics being reversed. It was usually a male being the teachers and a female being the students; in this one, a female teacher was punishing her badly behaving student.

Now, he's trying to find a good way to bring up the fact that he's interested in trying out a little roleplay of his own. It's not something you two have ever tried before, but it's not something you have discussed.

So here he finds himself watching the same video over and over again, his sweatpants on his knees together with his underwear and his fist wrapped around his cock, stroking himself at a leisurely pace.

Despite seeing the video countless times at this point, it never fails to get him off, and this time is no exception if it weren't for the fact that you swung open the bedroom door, just as he was about to reach his climax.

His super soldier hearing had not notified him of your arrival because he screamed when you caught him, his phone flying across the room as he tried to cover himself up.

''D-doll! Fuck! I didn't know you'd be home so soon...'' he mumbles, his face bright red while you walk over to where his phone landed to see if it's okay.

''Please, don't tell anyone!'' Bucky pleads, not wanting everyone to know about the kind of porn he watches. It's nothing illegal or anything, but that doesn't mean he's not embarrassed by it.

''I won't, Bucky; this will stay between us,'' you reassure him as you take off your boots before making your way over to the bed, where he's still waiting for what you're going to do next.

''So, you've wanted to try a little roleplay, huh? Well, you could have just asked me, and I would have happily said yes, silly boy,'' you tell him with a sensual voice.

You take slow steps towards the bed as you pull down the zipper on the front of your Tac suit, exposing your bra underneath.

''But first, do you want me to help with your not-so-little problem?'' you ask him, crawling on the bed and in between his legs before pulling the pillow away, revealing how he's still hard as a rock.

''Y-yes, please,'' he whispers, and without any hesitation, you bend down to give a few licks across his red, weeping tip to lick off the few drops of pre-cum that have gathered.

Your fist wraps loosely around the base, closing your mouth around his tip, sucking softly, and earning yourself a loud moan from your boyfriend that has your pussy clenching around nothing.

Slowly, you work more of him into your mouth and throat until your nose makes contact with his pubic bone, and you're gagging around his length. This turns out the be his undoing, and without so much as a warning, he shoots every last drop of cum into your mouth, letting you swallow every last drop.

''Fucking hell, Doll, you always know how to give a warm welcome-'' he tells you as he's softening and coming down from his high, ''- but now it's my time to give you the same.''

The next day, you and Bucky discussed roleplay and your interest in trying it out. However, this is also when Bucky confessed he would like to be the one receiving the punishment and taking the sub role in this scenario.

Your discussion has led to you searching for an office you could use, which may have resulted in a somewhat awkward situation with Steve. See, you've been trying to figure out if any offices are available with a lock on the door, but you didn't want him to know what you would be doing there.

"So, about the office… Is there one available?" you ask Steve again. It's been about a week since you last discussed it with him.

"Well, there are plenty available, but I can't exactly assign an office to you without knowing what you're going to do there," he tells you, focusing intently on your face. You know he means well, but that doesn't make it any less embarrassing.

"I have some- uhm- personal business? With… Well, with Bucky…" you say, your voice trailing off to a whisper, and that's when Steve finally puts two and two together. It's not about exactly what you would be doing, but it did click why you need an office with a lock.

"Oh! Well, uhm… Yeah! We have- I'll put you on the list; I'll let you know!" he says as his cheeks turn bright red, and with that, he storms off to try and not make the situation any more awkward. You quickly retreat to your bedroom to tell Bucky the excellent news, but you decide not to mention that Steve has an idea about what you will do.

A week later, you find yourself in the office Steve assigned you and Bucky. The door is locked so you two can avoid getting interrupted.

''Are you sure you want to do this? Because you know I'm okay with this, of course, but I care about your wellbeing too, Bucky,'' you tell him before you start.

''I'm sure, Doll. And I have my safeword if anything happens that I'm uncomfortable with,'' he reassures you. This does make you feel a little more at ease, and you need to get a few more things ready before your scene.

You've already changed into your outfit of a tight skirt that barely covers your ass, a white blouse that is about two sizes too small, your boobs and bra on full display, a pair of high stockings, and high heels. The entire look is finished with a high ponytail and your glasses.

''Ready, Baby boy?'' you ask Bucky when everything is ready, and when he notifies you that he's ready, you instantly switch into teacher mode. Suddenly, you're glad you've been a high school teacher for a few years before joining the Avengers.

''Somebody-'' you start with a raised voice ''- has gotten an F on last week's test. And because of that, they will receive a fitting punishment.''

Bucky's eyes instantly go wide at how you naturally slipped into your role. Between your authoritative tone and the way you look, he can already feel himself growing hard in his pants, and he has to adjust himself already.

This doesn't go unnoticed by you, and you walk over to Bucky, your heels clicking loudly on the wooden floor. You lean forward when you're at Bucky's table, and this only makes your boobs stand out more, making Bucky unable to look away from them.

You clear your throat loudly, and his eyes instantly snap up to yours, and he knows he's been caught. A deep red color appears on his cheeks and down his neck, and you can't help but grin at the sight.

''What's the problem, Baby Boy? Am I making you nervous by standing so close?'' you whisper in his ear after leaning in, and you are so close to him that he can smell the perfume you're wearing.

He bought it for you last Christmas, and you only wear it for special occasions. This occasion is very special, and his head reels from the thought.

You get back up, and he instantly misses you being so close, but that feeling is quickly gone when he watches you walk, the fabric of the skirt stretching slightly across your butt.

The sway of your hips has his mouth slightly agape and his hand reaching down to his crotch, palming himself over his jeans to give him the slightest bit of relief.

''Barnes!'' you say, and he quickly pulls his hand above the table. His eyebrows go into his hairline as he looks at you, and you turn around, sitting on your desk with your legs crossed.

''Come over here, Baby Boy, and I will give you your punishment now, so you won't have to go to detention later,'' you tell him, your glasses sliding down your nose as you playfully look over them.

He slides his chair back without hesitation, and before you know it, he's in front of you, the bulge in his pants very noticeable. He's enjoying this even more than you thought he would, and it makes you smile.

''For the first part of your punishment, I want you to sit on your knees, and eat this pussy until I tell you to stop, is that clear?'' you ask him, and he nods.

''Words, Baby Boy,'' you order, and he follows with a soft 'yes.'

''Good boy,'' you tell him as you spread your legs for him, and he sinks to his knees, his hands hooking behind your knees to pull you towards the edge of the desk. A soft gasp leaves your lips, and Bucky spreads your legs wider with his shoulders, opening you up for him.

The skirt you're wearing rides up to your hips, and when Bucky finds out you didn't wear panties for this, he lets out a deep groan. At this point, he's straining almost painfully against the confines of his pants, but since you didn't tell him he could touch himself, he hooks both arms around your thighs as he starts to eat you out like a starved man.

''Oh, fuck! Doing so well for me, Baby Boy,'' you praise him, and with that, he increases his pace even more, alternating between licking your clit and fucking your entrance with his tongue to get every last drop of your arousal.

He groans against your pussy with the praise, and you can never get enough of him eating you out like that. Your fingers are threading into his long locks before pulling him even closer, making your moans only louder.

''Use your fingers, Baby, use your fingers to make me cum-''

He doesn't have to be told twice because as soon as he hears the words 'fingers,' he is suckling on your clit, his fingers crooked inside your pussy.

Within no time, you're trembling as your legs are over his shoulders, your hand in his hair pulling him away as you're overstimulated and unable to keep yourself up at this point.

''F-fuck me, Bucky, fuck me until I can't fucking walk straight anymore,'' you tell him as he's worked you through your orgasm, and he's glad he can finally free himself from his pants.

After a few quick strokes, he's pushing himself into you, and you instantly clench down on him from the stimulation he's giving you. Once you've finally relaxed enough to let him in further, he slides in, bottoming out in one thrust.

The moan leaving your body is nearly pornographic, and it has Bucky going crazy, too. After getting adjusted to you and how tight you are around him, he leans forward and captures your lips in a soft, sweet kiss that is the complete opposite of the pace he's fucking you with.

With his metal arm, he rips your bra and shirt into pieces in a single motion, freeing your breasts from their confines and ready for him to play with. At this point, you know he's taken back all control, but you don't care; all you can think about is his cock deep inside you, hitting precisely the right spot.

''Need your fingers, please!'' you tell him, and his metal arm slides between your bodies, finding your clit without a single problem, while his flesh hand plays with your nipples, tugging and squeezing both in an alternating rhythm that only increases your pleasure.

Before you know it, you're falling over the edge of your second orgasm, and Bucky is following closely after, shooting his cum inside your pussy as he bends over and captures your lips in a passionate kiss.

Your arms are wrapped around his neck, and your legs are wrapped around his waist to keep him as close as possible. The two of you stay like that for a little while until Bucky goes soft, and he pulls out, ready to clean you up.

''So, how about that grade?'' he asks you.

''You deserve an A+ after that performance,'' you tell him, and after he's cleaned you up, you try to stand, but to no avail. Your legs give out immediately, and Bucky has done precisely what you asked.

''Here, take my shirt,'' he tells you as he pulls off his Henley before taking off the remaining pieces of your bra and blouse and throwing them in the trash for you. The soft material of the shirt feels warm against your skin, and Bucky lifts your bridal style, ready to take you to your bedroom.

You lay your head against his shoulder with your eyes closed, letting out a content sigh as you let Bucky take care of you. He makes sure all private parts are covered, and despite a few people giving him odd looks, Bucky keeps walking and giving you soft kisses on the crown of your head occasionally.

''I love you, Doll, and thank you for making my fantasy come true. Next time, I'll help you fulfill one of yours,'' he whispers to you before stepping into the elevator, and you fall asleep, getting a much-needed nap.

The elevator arrives at the floor of your bedroom quickly, and when the doors open, Bucky walks past Steve, who instantly turns bright red at the sight of his best friend holding you as you're wearing his shirt.

Steve turns around and quickly rushes into his bedroom to save himself from more embarrassment, though it is unspoken between all three of you that this will never be mentioned to anyone.

It's a good thing you left your bedroom door unlocked - your valuable stuff is always put away safely - and Bucky steps into the large room to put you on your bed without disturbing you.

When he pulls the comforter over you, he is just about to walk away to meet Steve, but you've woken up from the transfer, and you're not engulfed in his warmth anymore.

"Stay?" you ask him in a rough, sleepy voice, and he agrees. Right now, all he cares about is you, and Steve isn't capable of looking either of you in the eye after knowing what you did in that office.

For Bucky, though, this is truly a win-win situation. More time with you and the rest of the day to do whatever he pleases? It's like his dream come true.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

You're analysis are always very insightful! Your considerations about Malleus' restricted options in terms of partners made me wonder if Kalim would end up in a similar situation as him. This is of course entirely speculation, since we don't know much about how his parents got together, but to me it makes sense that in the future he might have to deal with something like an arranged marriage. He isn't royalty, but the Asim family still has a great deal of commercial and political sway in the Scalding Sands, so it's difficult for me to believe that they would just let the heir marry whoever he chooses. And despite how carefree he may act, I don't think he would reject an arrangement made by his family. He seems pretty aware of all the obligations that come with being an heir to the Asim. Besides, rejecting a spouse that was chosen for him might put said person under a lot of public scrutiny, and I don't think he would want anyone to go through that

[Referencing this post!]

Oh, hmmm 🤔 I actually never really though about this kind of thing for Kalim so I guess now is as good of a time as any www.

I do think like there would be some selectiveness involved for Kalim too, given the financial power and political influence in the Scalding Sands that the Asims hold (and that's not even mentioning their connections via family, some of which are royalty, and business partners). There's also been several attempts on Kalim's life, so there would probably be an intense screening and background check process for anyone courting Kalim. Who knows if they're actually there to kidnap him or to take his life??? The Asims would have very legitimate concerns, so they have every right to be vigilant and suspicious of those who may try to take advantage of Kalim's kind-heartedness and gullibility.

Mm, I do feel like (overall) Kalim wouldn't be in as much of a tight spot as Malleus?? I get the sense that his parents are way more open-minded and truly care about his happiness (unlike the Briar Valley senators) so they wouldn't exactly force him to marry someone he doesn't actually love. Rather than a "you have no say in this matter" arranged marriage, they might instead present Kalim with a pool of potential candidates that have already been vetted and encourage him to try them out? Like, go on various blind dates and see if he "clicks" with any of them. There would be more trial and error, more exploration allowed (since there isn't as much of a demand for Kalim to have an heir, especially not right away; he has so many other siblings and family members who could help or assume roles in the business). I believe this is similar to how matchmaking is done in some Asian countries (although I'm not too familiar with the concept, I've only learned a little about it through some podcasts). From my understanding, they try to "match" applicants with someone of a similar social ranking as you (so in Kalim's case, he would probably be meeting people who are also mega wealthy) and based on what you (and oftentimes your family) are looking for. If it doesn't work out, then there's less of a chance for backlash since pretty much anyone can use these services and a perfect match isn't a guarantee, especially on the first attempt. Please feel free to correct me if I got any information here wrong!! ^^

[jerzwriter]

Our fandom is made up of 30 people, half of whom have the other half blocked, so I'm an idiot for even addressing this. But since this continues to be posted publicly, I'm going to set my record straight—MY RECORD. I'm not speaking for anyone else, and no one else can speak for me. None of us are mind readers, no matter how much some seem to believe they are.

Back in April, a creator posted commissions of Bryce Lahela and Keiki Lahela in which the two AAPI characters were whitewashed. I interacted with this post in two ways: I ❤️-ed and commented on it from my personal blog. Also, I was the mod of CFWC at the time and I reblogged it there as part of the Choices Fics/Art of the Week. When I realized what I had done, I posted an apology here without solicitation.

I was angry at myself for my involvement and distressed that my actions caused pain to others. I know whitewashing is wrong. It is racist. I've spoken out about it in the past. Still, I interacted. But I didn't delete my comments to try to hide my involvement as some did. See, when I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong. I apologize and will make amends when it's the appropriate thing to do. So, criticism and corrections are never a problem for me. In fact, they're welcomed because it allows for reflection and improvement.

I'm sharing information not as an excuse but solely for context. See, the world isn't as black and white (no pun intended) as some like to believe it is.

I interacted with that post at around 1:00 AM after being awake for over 18 hours after working a long day, tending to real-life responsibilities, and seeing real-life friends (something I suggest each of you attain.) I was exhausted and should have gone to sleep. Instead, I logged on to reblog and do my "CFWC-work". Something I did every day (for free...) when I was still the CFWC mod.

When I was reblogging, I noticed it was the OP's birthday post (it was mentioned in bold in the header). I interacted from my personal to be kind, and I reblogged to CFWC as I did with all submissions. Did I really "look" at the art? No, I did not. I was exhausted and working on auto-pilot. I'm sure you've all done it - ever end up home and not remember the walk/drive there? I'm sure you have.

Now, I'm sure our fandom mind readers will scream, "WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE!" and "HOW COULD YOU NOT HAVE!" And have at it. In fact, that's exactly what I said to myself ... days after ... when I happened to see a post calling it out (days after THAT post was originally shared). I went back to look at the OP again, and that was the first time I truly looked at the art, and I was like, "Dude, what the fuck?" <- That was directed at me for not seeing it before because it was so obvious, and I was super upset over it.

I took action and accountability right away. I deleted the reblog from CFWC and took it off the F/AotW List. I removed my comments from the OP and really reflected. I discussed it privately with the OP - you know —like an adult. Then, I issued a public apology, and, most importantly, I learned from it.

It was a reminder to check my white privilege. Did I not see it instantly because I was exhausted and not paying attention, or was it because I am so used to seeing through the lens of privilege that I overlooked it? Truth is, it was a little of both. So now I know to be more cognizant and do better going forward. It was a reminder that no matter how much you think you've learned, there is always more to learn. Always.

It was also a reminder to be more conscious of the content I interact with. I have always tried to interact with as many creations/posts as I could so people felt appreciated. Most people in our fandom are not very supportive. They will interact with one or two of their friends at most. I know how much people put into their little blorbos, and I won't apologize for trying to make people feel appreciated. But no more. Now, I'm interacting much less and only when I have the chance/time to TRULY look everything over. (To those of you who ❤️ something to go back and look at it later, you may want to reconsider that, too.)

I also posted this, and it was especially offensive to some - though for the life of me - I'll never understand why. It's merely saying stop with the vaguing, stop with the hate anons, just talk constructively. It was not directed solely at this event - but every stupid fucking bit of drama I've seen. Everyone is so quick to assume the worst in everyone. Things would be so much better, and so much needless drama could be avoided if people communicated like the grown-ups they profess to be.

Just be a decent human being, and spare me the "it's not my job" bullshit. Because if you're screaming about it publicly, you've already made it your job. You're just not doing the job very well.

I'm not perfect. I have, do, and will make mistakes - just like every single one of you reading this will - but I'm committed to treating people fairly and learning when I make mistakes, and I will offer grace when others make mistakes and show contrition because I know no one's house is clean.

I ran CFWC for years and tried to make it as inclusive as possible and encouraged diversity. A mistake was made, and it was immediately corrected. That does not make a blog racist, and it's narrow-minded and ignorant to suggest it is. But as is often the case in this fandom, those who criticize the most are those who tend to offer the least. Always have a problem with the way things are done, but god damned if they'll do anything to benefit the fandom as a whole.

I hate seeing all the problems and division this has caused. I hate that three people have come to me and told me that they were told to "choose a side." That they want to interact with me publicly but are afraid to for fear of attack. I'm telling you right now, no one will ever hear that from me. I will never tell anyone to block anyone. In fact, I only block people I consider unsafe or who block me - because you don't get to have it both ways. In real life, if a friend tells me I have to choose between them and another friend? I will ALWAYS choose the friend who did not ask me to choose because the one who did already showed me who they are. Make your own choices, but if you feel you can only interact with me privately, I'd rather you block me and move on. I don't need "friends" like that.

It was very hurtful that someone I considered a friend didn't think enough of me to come to me privately and assumed the worst of me without so much as a word. A conversation could have done wonders. But you know what that tells me? The "friendship" wasn't as much of a friendship as I had believed. It happens, and it stung for a bit, but that's done. After all, we never lose true friends.

I totally broke my rule of not explaining myself to those who were committed to misunderstanding me, but I just had enough. Besides, I don't give a damn about them - consider it a gift to my haters. Have at it - tear it all apart - if that's what you live for and have nothing better to do - go for it. I honestly feel sad for you. I wrote this for me - to put my truth out there. And I wrote it for those who are afraid to say these things themselves, and trust, they are out there. It's really, really, really pathetic that a fandom about stupid pixelated people devolves into this.

[seb-reads31]

I absolutely loved the shy reader post, it's exactly what I was hoping for. Also implied fem! for Vaggie is perfectly fine and makes sense, Nifty was a good touch but it's so true I'm not mad😅 and g/n for the rest is a win for everyone, who wouldn't want them to experience these women confessing their feelings. I'd love to see part two with the women of heaven. Sadly no Carmilla pet names yet but I'll let you know if I think of any.

Cautions - SPOILERS, DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED ALL OF SEASON ONE, if you are fine with spoilers or already know what's happening feel free to continue <33 ngl Sera was a bit tricky but we're cooking 🍳, cursing (duh), possibly ooc Lute, let me know if there are any others!

Genre - Fluff

Type - head canons

Comments - Hey hey! I'm so glad you loved them 🥹 From what I've seen online (I'm not active on Vivian's Twitter so I'm really just taking the word of others) that Vaggie is canonically lesbian and that Nifty is canonically straight, so that's why I did the respective genders. If I'm wrong, absolutely anyone correct me and show me what Viv has said otherwise 😭 But anyways, here are the heavenly women!~ (also, Lute might be a little ooc, I think it's okay though. Please give me some tips for characters with her personality 🙏🙏)

Sweet, shy thing~ Pt 2

Here's part one!

Emily

- You and Emily have been friends since you both came into existence

- Basically attached at the hip!

- Several times other angels had assumed you two were a couple, but Emily always corrected them that you were just friends. (You were always too flushed and shy to say anything)

- However, one day, when Emily was about to correct another angel, she hesitated

- She doesn't know why, but this time, she didn't want to correct them

- She thought about it long and hard that night, laying awake in her bed, wondering why she hesitated on telling the angel that you two were.. she can't even say it??

- That morning, she ever so groggily walked up to Sera, and asked her what was happening to her

- Sera chuckled, then explained that Emily might have a crush on you

- Neither you or Emily had ever been in a relationship before, you never really needed to. You always had each other, and that's all you both wanted

- Atleast.. that was all she wanted. Now she wants to be.. more to you than just your bestest friend

- She wants your little hangouts together to be romantic sometimes, for you two to hold hands

- The realization of her feelings for you has definitely brought out such cute and sappy thoughts Emily never thought would cross her mind

- She tells you around 4 months before the meeting with Charlie in heaven

- She had finally concocted the perfect plan to confess

- She brought you to a meadow outside of the more city parts of heaven. It was your little hiding space away from prying eyes (mostly.)

- When you arrived, she already had made a flower crown

- But the flowers she used weren't merely chosen at random, no no no. These flowers meant something, and that something was her feelings.

- You and her had studied the language of flowers together, just a passing hobby, and because it was so much fun!

- She used daisies, which means true love and new beginnings. Sun flowers, meaning adoration and loyalty, peace, love, and happiness. Some baby's breath, while used in bouquets for baby showers can also mean everlasting love and innocence. And finally, a daffodil, which means devotion.

- With all of these meanings in mind, you stared at the flower crown, practically screaming her feelings for you as she blushed, her hands shaking slightly as she looks away, silently waiting for your answer

- She doesn't look back up to you until you gently grab her shaking hands, steadying them

- Once they begin shaking less, you grab the crown, and place it on top of your head, a blush spreading across your face as your hands reach back down to hers, giving them a soft, reassuring squeeze

- No words were spoken, but that's all she needed. You returned her feelings, and you wanted to be with her, as her partner.

Seraphim

- She's a very reserved angel.

- She has to be, she ranks very highly in heaven. (Whether she earned her position or was created for it I have no idea but lets just say she had to work for it for my sake.) She worked too hard to get this position, any slips would ruin everything she's done.

- However, lately, she's been a bit more sleepy eyed, and yawning far too much. Michael, (I legit know nothing about the ranks in heaven, correct me 😭) her boss, has noticed and decided to assign her an assistant. That being you! Good job 👍

- As much as she appreciates Michael looking out for her, an angel of her ranking shouldn't need to depend on someone else, and while she does try to argue this with him, he isn't budging.

- She's a bit.. how do I say this, cold and bitchy to you? To begin with atleast

- She doesn't appreciate that she's being forced to have an assistant.

- So, she gives you harder tasks than you can probably handle. And she doesn't really bother to get to know you. Just that you're doing the work she assigned to you and returning it to her when she expects it

- After a while, she starts to warm up to you. And how long is that "while" you may be asking? Around.. 200-300 years....

- Y e a h, she doesn't warm up to you that quickly. But after those years, you can notice her warming up to you, and finally showing some decency of asking about your day

- Which starts your little conversations here and there. Mostly just talking about your days, funny stories, or talking about the work you both do, and some hobbies here and there

- You two grow closer, eventually starting to socialize outside of work, and you finally get to see Sera relax, no longer tense and stressed, but instead a less tense and much happier version of your boss

- The moment she realizes she fell for you was when one day she was looking forwards to seeing you at work.. but you didn't show up

- She was.. sad? She didn't fully understand why until she was reading later that day, a romance novel. It was one about lovers separated due to extreme weather, unable to see each other. The book described the longing both felt, and how sad they were being unable to contact each other.

- She immediately recognized those feelings as the ones she felt when you weren't at work.

- You returned to work a few days later, on top of your desk was a large bouquet of flowers, generally meaning good health and happiness as well as sprinkles of friendship here and there, as well as a note

- "My dear assistant, I thank you for taking care of me and assisting me with my paper work all these years. I have no words to thank you for everything you've done, despite how I treated you when you first began. In order to thank you, and try to apologize for my harshness, I wish to take you out to dinner. My treat, of course. Sincerely, Seraphim."

- And then you two loved happily ever after, the end <333

Lute

- She uh

- She doesn't like you

- I'm being so real

- Kinda like Nifty, she needs someone tough enough to match her or atleast get close

- ...is what she used to think

- HA I GOT YOUR ASSES-

- But because she's the way she is she doesn't like you at first

- Let's say you're a medic for the exterminators cause they get injured sometimes (just go with it)

- On occasion Lute would have to visit you because she got too carried away during the extermination or while training (do they train?? 😭)

- She didn't like going to you but she followed the rules as much as she could. This being one of them

- After so many visits to your office for various injuries she grew fond of you, her thoughts occasionally drifting to you, causing more injuries so she would have to see you again

- After several years of going in this cycle, she finally decided to ask if you two could hangout outside of your clinic

- You agreed, of course. And from then on you two became closer

- Now, to how Lute asks you out.. it's very blunt and straight forward

- It almost sounds like a demand

- "I like you, I want to go on a date with you at [this time] and at [this place]." With a bright red blush on her face 🤭

- Now, she immediately walked away after she said that because she was so embarrassed. So she didn't know if you actually accepted the date or not

- Lute only realized this after she got to the place she asked/told you to meet her at.

- So she was panicking severely, preparing herself to call Adam as a backup so she didn't look like she was lonely, and to blame it on Adam's careless attitude as to why she was waiting for so long.

- However, just as she was about to call him, you walked in, dressed nicely and a blush covering your face

- Lute.. was ecstatic. You actually came?? Even though you're so??? Shy??

- You both had fun talking over dinner, and after she walked you home, leaving a miss on your cheek before walking back to her place, only looking back once to see a deep blush spread across your face at the peck.

[star-crossed-mid]

Leon becoming the king rambles

I haven't finished the entirety of everyone's stories (I just did the mainstory for all 12) but I've been thinking about Leon's final story where he ascends to the king status.

more info dumping theories below. Also I could be wrong like again I have not finished anyone's story completely pls correct me if im wrong

From what I've seen he becomes king of the heavens and is given a new set of stars (the king star).

It makes me wonder who's taking over as minister of wishes/ruler of leo. He did give MC the Leo constellation for her to become a god iirc. It's funny bcuz its almost like his name correlates to a lion and itd probably get confusing from there. Also MC has aquarius in one of her eyes so I wonder if it just went back to hue after this.

Would Vega or Karno become minister? Would it be MC? Would the departments even be a thing when he's king or would he fundamentally just change everything.

If leon becomes the new king/becomes omnipotent, wouldn't he just be forced to live like the king, always hidden away and alone because he literally sees and knows all. Only left a victim of watching things happen until ppl come up to you for more. Letting curiosity roam free as you have infinite power to do anything. A move of his hand and things are gone. Is he even himself at this point or does the curse of infinite knowledge and power catch up.

This also dives into Leon as a character. He's portrayed as lazy and uninterested (on mondays or smthn) at first. He's also shown as a hard worker and genuinely tries to be just and fair. Whenever a god is in trouble he always makes a stand towards Zyg and the King. Most of his character arc is Leon trying to understand that he can trust MC/other people and that they care for him as a person, not a mighty powerful being. Despite his attitude towards everything, Leon is just a character who has to learn to undo his past ways of thinking that were hurting him and the people around him (and he does healthily learn). Leon's behavior is also very cat-like.

Would he be able to keep all the progress he made in a position similar to where he was most hurt.

He also marries mc and has a kid in that route so ig there's that. From what I've seen he changes a few things to allow everything to go smoothly.

Also to note Star-crossed myth has generally happy endings and is on positive notes most of the time compared to other god media being nitty gritty. I may be reading too deep into this to cope with the bad ending of a new video game. For some reason I really love fics/concepts with the scm gods that are tragic like actual mythology/fairytales

I just consumed a bunch of different media that dealt with characters becoming omnipotent gods and it never ends well.

Most of the times characters who ascend to higher status are just left as watchers, in new forms, only watching what once was and what they once had. No one knows if the previous versions of themselves are still there, or just apart of something bigger now.

There was one fan excerpt where the chars of the show were just yelling at the sky/showing the sky items they bought. They did this hoping to show their old friend who had became an omnipotent god said items, and having no idea if they saw it or not. The ex-partner of the person who ascended also spent a majority of the show trying to speak to them again. Even if they weren't together it was the act of love that stayed.

In a new video game that just came out, theres a character who has a really traumatic backstory and has the option to stop their abuser and 'ascend' to a position like their captor. The entire arc of this specific character relies on them making their own choices for once and not being apart of someones plan, and you as the player have the option to watch them make their choice to ascend or try to change their mind. When this character ascends it literally cursed them into continuing their cycle of abuse and losing themselves in the process. Spent the entire game going through character development only for a ritual to just undo everything hahaha imissthemsomuch one thing ascending did was take away their sense of humor and ability to be nice.

anyways wishing leon the best in the messy story of star-crossed myth xoxo dont let the power get to ur head babes hope he does better than the mf king fuck that dude

also random hc ill probably draw later is I like to believe that both Zyg and Leon were in line for the throne as kids/young gods. Leon a little more favored bcuz his powers r stated to be strongest, Zyg being older and more responsible at the time.

tldr Leon probably pissed off Zyglavis somehow and Zyg gave leon the 'ultimate punishment' and took himself out of the competition. The punishment being the weight of the crown.

[milarqui]

Scarlet Lady: Dark Cupid

Directory | Syren

Adrien had always wanted to come to school.

He had never thought it would involve anything like what Mme. Bustier was 'teaching' them now.

“In most fairy tales, the prince breaks the spell by kissing the princess. Can anyone tell me why?” the teacher said, as he finished writing his first love letter.

Alright, he understood that she thought it was thematically appropiate, but... really?

“Oh, ooh!” Rose said, jumping from her seat. “Because only love can conquer hate!”

“Exactly,” Mme. Bustier said, proudly smiling at Rose.

“Yet only approximately 32% of those kisses were consensual.”

Max's stony declaration – along with his stony expression – fell on the cheerful ambiance like... a stone.

At least, that's what Adrien thought, particularly considering that the teacher's smile had turned very awkward from one moment to another.

“OKAY!” Mme. Bustier said, clearly trying to change the subject. “Happy Valentine's Day!”

Yeah, awkward.

----

With the day finished, Kagami was putting her things back into her backpack, when Ondine came up to her.

“Kagami, is Valentine's Day different in Japan?”

“A bit, though I've never participated before,” she replied. She remembered how the girls would hand chocolate to the boys they liked (or not – that was what 'obligation chocolate' was for, apparently) and the boys would then give back white chocolate a month later. But, with her mother's... presence metaphorically behind her, she had never tried. “Do you have plans, Ondine?”

Ondine smiled, blushing.

“Well, I'm really hoping Kim asks me to be his girlfriend! I'm the one who confessed, so it's his turn to make a move!”

Kagami nodded, smiling.

I'm proud of Ondine for striking first.

“Oh! Can I call you later and tell you how it goes?” Ondine asked, pulling out her phone.

“Sure,” she replied, doing the same.

She would do the best to help her one friend in the school happy.

And she also made plans for the future.

If he hurts her, I'll maim him, she decided.

----

The bell rang, and everyone began to pack their things. Some of them had plans for the day, after all, and others just wanted to finally be free for the day.

“You ready, dude?” Nino asked.

“Y-Yeah, hold on,” he replied, still writing. He would have finished earlier, but it was hard to hide it all with all the classes they had had!

“Adridarling~”

Suddenly, a claw hand snatched the letter he had been writing.

“Whatcha working on? A love letter for moi?”

“HEY! Give that back!” he yelled, trying to reach out before she could read it.

If she read that out loud, it would mess up his plans completely!

Fortunately, she did not read it out loud, but she still read it. Then she looked at him, confused.

“Adrien, you got my description wrong. I have cornflower eyes and golden hair.”

What the hell? Why did she think this would be for her?

“The description is correct. You're the one that's wrong.”

She began to wave the letter in the air.

“Tell me right now who this is for if not me!”

“Ah! Um!”

He couldn't answer that! Marinette was right there!

He had to come up with something, quick!

Who did he know that looked like Marinette?

Think, think, think –

“IT'S FOR MARIGOLD!”

“WHAT?!” Alya and Chloé yelled simultaneously.

“Really?” Nino asked, surprised.

“Huh?!”

Alya looked at her friend, who was blushing so much.

“Why are you embarrassed?”

Alya approached Nino, who began to blush.

“How did you not know who your own best friend is crushing on?” she asked, curious.

“I-I don't know! We don't talk about that stuff!”

“How?!”

“Look, dude, it isn't like it's my business who my bro likes!”

----

“Stupid Foolsgold–Bumbling Bee–Marimold! I'll make myself Adrien's Valentine!”

Tikki sighed.

“Chloé, please, this is pathetic.”

“SHUT UP.”

What had she done to deserve... this?

----

Marinette had managed to extricate herself from Alya's grip to get some time alone in the bathroom... so she could come to terms with what Adrien had just said.

“I never thought Adrien would get a crush on Marigold!” she thought, her cheeks still burning.

“You left quite the impression, My Queen!” Pollen cheered, as she bashfully looked away, her fingertips touching each other.

“It is pretty flattering, someone as nice as Adrien liking me. Or a version of me.”

“Flattering!”

“And brave! If he put his feelings out there, I have to answer properly!”

“So brave!”

She had to see if she could visit him as Marigold!

----

Outside the bathroom, all Alya could hear was Marinette apparently talking to herself.

“You sure have strange ways of dealing with bad news, girl,” she commented, even though she knew Marinette couldn't hear her.

----

“'In love with Marigold?' First I've heard, lover boy!” Plagg mockingly exclaimed, and Adrien gave him an exasperated look.

“You know the plan was to give Marinette the poem as Chat Noir. I panicked!”

“Ooo, romantic.”

He stood from his chair and went to the window, almost slamming his face on it.

“Now everyone thinks I love Marigold. Even Marinette! But I suppose it could be worse.”

He sighed.

“I could've said Scarlet Lady.”

“HA!”

----

“Operation: Valentine's Day commencing. After much online research, I've concluded this jewel to be the most popular,” Max declared, handing a heart-shaped box to Kim.

“Awesome, Max!” Kim replied, thankful for his best friend's aid.

Almost as if smelling prey, Alya and Marinette showed up, flanking Kim as he admired the jewel Max had found.

“Oo, shiny! Is it for moi?” Alya joked, causing Kim to flush as he realized the girls had just caught him in the middle of planning.

“Negative, Alya, the recipient is–”

Kim quickly jumped to cover Max's mouth.

“Shh, Max! It's supposed to be a secret!” he said, embarrassed.

“It's Ondine, right?” Alya said, smiling, while Marinette gave him a glare.

“It better be Ondine.”

Kim began to sweat.

“How'd you know...?”

“You know how she feels! Go for it!” Marinette encouraged him giving him a thumbs up, along with Alya and Max.

“She'll love it!” Alya said. So encouraged, Kim began to run for the place where he had agreed to meet Ondine, while waving goodbye at his friends.

“Thanks, guys!” he shouted, quickly turning around a corner, and Alya turned to Max with a smirk.

“I'm surprised to see you playing Cupid, Max,” she noted: given his usual approach to romance, it was a tad curious.

“Oh, not at all,” Max replied. “Ondine is a commendable character and Kim is happy.”

He adjusted his glasses.

“As long as they keep the PDA to a minimum, I am content.”

Alya tried to reply, but then she thought it over and realized she was pretty much on the same horse.

“Fair.”

----

She may have been the unofficial Adrien Fanclub president, but she thought that the other girls were taking this love for Adrien a bit too far.

Mireille was hugging the advert column where his latest ad was now hanging, and Jeanne was actually praying to it!

“Mireille, this is excessive,” she noted.

“Shh, Aurore,” Mireille replied, somehow basking on the feeling of the Adrien in the poster even though it was attached to a cold metal column.

“Ha! Dream on, girls!”

Sighing at what was likely to be another annoyance, Aurore and her fellow fans turned to see Chloé Bourgeois holding the same poster as in the advert column, but smaller, and with something handwritten on the corner.

“Adrien is already mine,” she crowed, but Aurore could easily see how false it was. Even a five-year-old child would have been able to make a better fake of Adrien Agreste's signature.

“Hey, that's not Adrien's signature!” Suhayla exclaimed, handily making it unnecessary for her to point out the same.

Not that she'd save Bourgeois a few stabs.

“We're his fanclub, who're you trying to fool?” she asked her, and she was rewarded by the other girl's embarrassed face as she realized her bluff had been called.

“Lying about that, that's so pathetic!” Vivienne shouted at Bourgeois, who hugged her fake autographed poster as if it were worth anything (outside of Adrien's face, that is).

“HOW DARE YOU!”

Heh, truth clearly hurt her.

By the time they were done, Bourgeois would be unable to claim the same thing again.

----

Marinette heard the running up the stairs to her room, and turned to see Alya holding a giant heart-shaped card as if it were some kind of treasure.

“Marinette~ look!”

“What's that for?” she asked, legitimately curious.

“Don't give up so easily! You gotta tell him how you feel!” Alya said.

“Thanks, Alya, but I couldn't begin to figure out how to give it to him,” she replied. Granted, if there was an akuma around, he would show up and fight, but she had promised not to appear in Akuma fights (that was what Marigold was for).

Maybe he would appear at her rooftop tonight...

“Why would that be hard?” Alya asked, shaking her off her daydream. “We know where he lives.”

She blinked.

It looked like they weren't on the same level.

“Who are you talking about?” she asked.

“Who are you talking about?” Alya asked.

Alya decided to pull her out as Marinette explained her love for Paris' best hero, and it was like something switched in her best friend.

“Chat Noir?! That's who you're into?!”

“Is that weird?” she asked.

“Oly if you were literally anyone else!” Alya replied, pulling from her arm and starting to run. “C'mon, let's track him down!”

“WHOA!”

----

Kim was waiting at the Pont des Arts, present in hand, ready for the most important moment of his life. It had taken him long – perhaps too much – in realizing that Ondine liked him, and also that he liked her back.

Then again, he had to admit he was kinda dense.

But, well, Max had come through and (as with many other things) had helped him find the way to finally ask Ondine if she wanted to be his girlfriend!

(He'd have to find a way to pay him back for all the stuff he had helped him with)

He could already imagine her face, smiling and shining as she said yes. Perhaps she might even want to give him a kiss!

“That's right, framed with 24-carat gold. Deliver it to Le Grand Paris.”

When he heard that voice, he felt his blood freezing up in his veins.

“Oh, no. Chloé.”

If she realized he was here, he just knew she was going to ruin everything.

He tried to will himself to become transparent. Invisible. Non-existant. Anything, as long as Chloé Bourgeois didn't notice he was there!

It shouldn't be that hard – it wasn't as if she cared about him on a good day!

“Bill it to Daddykins – uh, Mayor Bourgeois.” Then Chloé looked at him. “Huh? What are you doing here? Hm?”

“Uh, this is a public bridge,” he pointed out, as he tried to think of something to get rid of her before Ondine appeared.

“Oh, wow, you're really trying this with me, Kim?”

“Huh?!”

He definitely didn't understand what Chloé was about now, and definitely didn't like Chloé's face.

He was not religious at all, but suddenly something he knew was from the Bible sprung up in his mind.

My Lord, why hast thou forsaken me?

Chloé then walked up to him, and he tried to stay away, but she just wouldn't stop!

“Sorry, Kim, but my heart belongs to someone way more interesting than you!”

Kim briefly wondered what was going through Chloé's mind to make her think his present was for her.

Then again, that was the usual for Chloé.

“What are you –?!”

“Kim?”

He felt his blood freeze again.

Oh. No. No. No. No. NONONONONONONONONONONONO!

Not now!

“Ondine!” he shouted, turning to the girl. “It's not what it sounds like!”

“Who? Oh, right.” And because Chloé was what she was, she proceeded to make a mess of everything. AGAIN. “Do you mind, Hulk girl? I'm trying to turn down this loser, go away!”

The sight of Ondine's tears pooling around her eyes was like an arrow through his heart, and not the funny cute ones. No, it was the pain of knowing he had (accidentally) caused the girl pain that was coursing through him.

“SORRY TO HAVE BOTHERED YOU!” Ondine yelled, turning around and running away, and Kim felt his heart breaking in pieces.

“ONDINE, WAIT!” he shouted, but he was too late, and all he could do was watch as the girl he liked ran away in tears.

“Ha ha! Don't you hate how harsh love can be?” Chloé said, but he ignored her, kneeling on the ground, not even paying attention as the waste of air that had just ruined his life left.

Not even paying attention to the black butterfly landing on the brooch he had wanted to give to Ondine as a sign of his feelings.

Not even paying attention as a bow appeared on his hand, and wings on his back.

Not even paying attention as he was called Dark Cupid.

But then... he paid attention.

“No love affair or friendship will escape my fury! No one will ever love again!” he shouted, lifting off and flying away.

If he couldn't be with the girl he loved... then no one would be with the ones they loved.

And his arrows met their targets.

“Get off me!”

“Ah!”

“I hate you!”

----

Juleka and Rose had decided to take a walk for their Valentine's date. It was the usual for them: low key, nice, no need for anything grand. Maybe they could duck into a cafe later and enjoy a bit of privacy?

But then, Rose shouted.

“AH!”

“ROSE!” Juleka shouted, briefly seeing a large arrow sticking out of her girlfriend's back before it disappeared.

“Get off of me!” Rose screamed shoving her off, much to her shock.

“What?!” She couldn't understand what was going on. What would make her sweet Rose act like that?

“I hate how tall and gorgeous you are! Makes me sick!” Rose angrily shouted.

Juleka wasn't certain of how to feel.

“Am I supposed to be insulted?” she asked.

This looked like another Akuma in the making. Hopefully, the heroes would fix this.

She wanted her sweet, gentle Rose back!

----

Both girls were tired, and had decided to buy large candy hearts so they could eat them while sitting at the first bench they could find.

“So, tracking down Chat Noir is harder than I thought,” Alya noted, licking her candy heart.

“No kidding,” she replied, doing the same with her own candy. Alya then saw something on the sky.

“Hey, what's that?”

Suddenly, a winged figure with a bow in hand flew in front of them.

“Every heart must be broken!” the obvious Akuma shouted, firing an arrow at Alya.

“AH!”

“ALYA!”

Before she could further react, Alya – whose lips were now black, somehow – turned around and slapped the sticky candy heart on her chest.

“Ha! Like Chat Noir would even want a Valentine from a nobody like you!” Alya said, running away while giving out an evil laugh. Marinette looked down at the candy before turning to her fleeing friend.

“I'll ignore that because you look good in black lipstick!” she shouted at the retreating form, before ducking away.

What the hell had happened with Kim, anyway?

----

“I said 24-carat, not 18-carat! That won't match my 24-carat bathtub!” Chloé yelled into her cellphone. “You bunch of nimrods!”

Unseen by her, Dark Cupid readied one of his arrows, prepared to finally ruin the one that had ruined his attempt to confess.

But, as he was aiming, something hit him in the face, making his shot go wide.

“Ah!”

“Stop it, Kim!”

“Marigold!” He could recognize that spinning top anywhere – and then both heroes stepped in between him and his target. “And Chat Noir! Don't get in my way!”

“Then maybe don't be so loud and obvious,” Chat Noir replied, before both heroes turned to see something else.

“Ew, what is that?” Chat Noir wondered.

That happened to be a copy of the latest Gabriel Agreste perfume ad, showing Adrien in front of the Eiffel Tower. For some reason, the lower part had been ripped out.

And, worst of all, it was framed in gold.

“Scary,” Marigold said, pondering how bad Chloé's stalkering was that she would do this.

“Mind your own business!” the aforementioned stalker yelled.

“I am Dark Cupid!” the Akumatized Kim said, aiming with another of his rose-shaped arrows at the group. “If I can't have love, no one can!”

Chat Noir quickly began to twirl his baton, preventing Dark Cupid from having a clean shot on Chloé, while Marigold began to push the girl to safety.

“Chloé, get inside!” she urged, but Chloé didn't seem to be worried.

“Why? There's no reason for Kim to have something against me,” she replied.

Marigold was dumbfounded... that Chloé actually thought that.

“What.”

“Oh, wait! It's my signed Adrien poster he's jealous of! Go protect it!” Chloé said.

And she shoved her.

Away from Chat Noir's protective shield.

“What–”

And the arrow struck.

“AH--!”

“Marigold!” Chat Noir yelled. He wasn't certain of the effect the arrow would have... but he was certain it wouldn't be good. “Goldie–?”

“SHUT UP!” Marigold suddenly shouted, glaring at him. “I hate that disgusting nickname almost as much as I hate you! You and that blonde pest, I hate with all my heart!”

“HEY!” Chloé complained.

Nobody cared.

Without warning, Marigold threw her spinning top at Chat Noir.

“How do you like that!”

Barely able to dodge it, Chat Noir saw as his partner's weapon instead shattered the glass and tore apart the poster bearing his civilian self's resemblance.

“No! My poster!”

Chat Noir smiled. Alright, this Akuma had done something good, after all.

“I like that very much, thanks!” he replied.

“$@#€!” Marigold didn't seem to agree with his opinion, though.

“My posterrrrr...” Chloé cried out, but, to be honest, Chat Noir didn't give a damn about the thing.

“Run, Chloé!” he ordered, and finally the girl understood the stakes and ran away.

“EEEK!”

While shouting, that is.

With the civilian out of the way, Chat Noir turned to his partner, who was twirling her spinning top around and glaring at him.

“Square up, Chat Noir,” she declared.

“I don't want to fight you, Marigold!” he replied. He couldn't hurt his partner! Her grimace of anger was not very favoring.

“Ugh, your kindness and friendliness is insufferable,” the corrupted heroine declared.

Chat Noir wasn't certain what to make of it.

“Wow, you're really bad at being mean. Thank you?” he answered, sheepishly hoping it would–

“SHUT UP!”

Alright, it wouldn't.

----

In her blind rush to get away from Kim – who seemed to be really jealous of her, for some reason – Chloé didn't see the stand with several flower pots and tripped on it, sending the plants arse over teakettle and covering her with dirt.

“OW! Ughhh...” she complained, trying to stand up again while shaking off the pain and disorientation.

“Whoa. Now that's a look!”

“Wait until Alix sees this!”

“Hey!” she shouted, getting back to her knees and seeing Liar Rossi and Sabrina taking photos of her.

“Have you been hit by the Akuma?! How dare you take my picture!”

“What Akuma?” both girls asked, while Kim just laughed at her misery.

“HA!”

----

Marigold may have been doing this for a much shorter time than him... but she was still a very good fighter, as evidenced by the fact that he had his hands full trying to deflect her spinning top with his baton.

“How can I overcome all this hate inside you?” he asked. Maybe she would slip and say something that would let him get his partner back!

“You can't! Hate conquers all!” she replied.

The prince breaks the spell by kissing the princess.

Because only love can conquer hate!

That was from class that morning.

Oh, goodness, maybe that was worth the attempt.

“I never imagined my first kiss would be like this.”

He wanted to give that to Marinette, after all.

“What are you on about, you creep?!”

Whoops. He had said that out loud. And now Marigold knew what he intended to do.

Welp. If it had to be this way...

He quickly jumped at Marigold, who began to run away.

“Come take your medicine!” he shouted, even though he knew it wasn't going to work.

“Get back you freak!” Marigold shouted at him. Still, he gave pursuit, knowing it was his only hope of stopping this Akuma.

Instinct made him stop right on his track, which proved wise as one of Dark Cupid's arrows landed at his feet.

“AH!”

By the time he was able to recover position, Marigold was half-hiding behind Dark Cupid's form, sticking her tongue at him.

“How're you gonna fight both of us now?” the Akuma taunted him, but he wasn't deterred.

“Ha! I can take you!”

“I've arrived, sidekick!”

He sighed. Just when he thought things could go nice for once...

“Well, there goes my odds,” he complained.

Scar summoned Lucky Charm (a candy heart this time) while he kept his baton in front, deflecting the arrows Dark Cupid was firing.

“Got a plan, Scar?” he asked, even though he knew asking was futile.

“I'll deal with the birdbrain, you focus on Stinkbug!” she shouted, jumping into the air.

“And what do you think you can do with a candy heart?” Dark Cupid mockingly called out as he prepared another arrow.

“THIS, @#$% FACE!” Scar shouted, throwing the candy... which, on impact, exploded, covering Dark Cupid in a sticky mess.

“Ew, what the hell?!”

“THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!” Scar yelled, and he cast a brief glance at her.

“You're sure fired up,” he commented, deflecting one of Marigold's attacks while surprised that Scar could actually be competent. Then he couldn't do much more, as Marigold redoubled her attacks, forcing him to stay concentrated in the fight.

“You would not believe my day! I got snubbed for Mari-mold of all people, my Valentine was laughed at and then ruined, and I was chased into a flower stand and destroyed my hair!” he heard Scar complain, but he paid no mind – particularly when Marigold had just summoned Venom and was threatening to use it on him.

“Scar, I'm glad you're actually pulling your weight for once, but now is not the time!” he shouted, but that momentary distraction was more than enough to allow Marigold to trip him, leaving him at her mercy.

“Marigold! His Miraculous!” Dark Cupid ordered, even tangled up as he was in candy.

“Ready to lose your fur, Minou?” Marigold asked, smirking, as she prepared to sting him.

“Geez, can't you handle anything on your own?!” Scar shouted, and before his eyes the yo-yo got tied up around Marigold's arm.

“Ugh!” Marigold complained... but this was the moment.

Carefully putting his hands around her face, he brought her down...

And their lips connected.

It felt... it actually felt quite nice. Tingly. Her lips were so soft, and he could even get a hint of something sweet on her.

It may not have been Marinette – but it sure was a close second to what he thought it would be if he ever got to kiss her.

He was so into kissing Marigold, that he forgot where he was.

“Do we need to come back at another time?”

“AH! WHAT–?” Marigold asked, clearly confused and shocked at where she was.

Time to finish this!

----

Marigold was utterly confused. She had been in Chloé's room, and Chloé had pushed her away from her, and then something had hit her – and now she was outside the hotel, with Scarlet's yo-yo around her arm, and herself pinning Chat Noir against the ground for some reason.

Before she could react, Chat Noir stood up and grabbed her by the waist.

“Sorry, Ma Belle, it's time to fly!” he announced.

“Wuh?”

Before she could ask anything else, Chat Noir threw her at Dark Cupid, and she instinctively put her hands ahead, accidentally hitting the Akuma with Venom – and how had that come out at all? – and paralyzing him.

“Wha-oh!”

“The brooch, wanna-bee!” Scarlet yelled. She briefly recognized it from the box Kim had shown her and Alya earlier, so she grabbed it, and Kim soon recovered his form.

“Good job, Goldie!” Chat Noir cheered.

“Yaaaay?” she tried to cheer, but failed.

Mostly because no one would even tell her what had just happened.

----

Kim shook himself awake, and realized he was no longer in the Pont des Arts. And also surrounded by ladybugs.

“How did I–” he began to ask, before he was interrupted.

“Get here? By being the worst at handling rejection from a pretty girl, that's how!” Scarlet Lady shouted, stoking his anger as he stood up and towered over her.

“Who, Chloé?” he asked in disgust. “I wasn't even trying to as her out in the first place!”

He covered his face in anguish.

“But thanks to her, I'll be lucky if Ondine even talks to me, let alone agrees to be my girlfriend!”

He ignored Scarlet Lady's disgusted answer – which sounded so much like Chloé's would be – as he tried not to weep –

“Uh, Kim?”

That voice.

He turned around, and he saw –

“Ondine! What are you doing here?!” he asked, both worried and relieved to see her again.

“I, uh, saw the flying birdman with a faux hawk,” she replied, blushing. “Thought that might be you.”

He walked up to her. Maybe he still had a chance to fix this!

“Ondine, please, let me explain!”

“It's okay, I heard everything,” she softly replied, and he felt his heart soar as he saw her smiling. “So, if it's not too late, can I be your Valentine?”

“Valentine, girlfriend,” he replied, hugging her closer, “whichever means I get to kiss you!”

“Ha ha!” Ondine laughed, and she kissed him.

And he swore it was even better than he had thought it could be.

----

Chat Noir coughed awkwardly at seeing Kim and Ondine kissing each other for the first time. He was glad for his classmate and his now-girlfriend for getting a chance to finally do this... but maybe they could give them some privacy?

Marigold, who was clearly happy at seeing the new couple sealing the deal, turned to him with a questioning look – and the first beeps sounding out from her haircomb.

“Chat Noir, what happened? I remember being at the hotel–”

No. No. No. He really didn't want to discuss this here and now.

“Oh no, you're about to change back, better get going!” he said, 'subtly' pushing her away so he could avoid what was bound to be a really awkward conversation.

“HA! What happened is that back alley stray put her lips all over--”

“GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE YOU TURN INTO A PUMPKIN!” he quickly talked over Scar before she could ruin things. The fact that she was beeping just made the excuse more believable.

“RUDE!” Scar complained, even as she obeyed and found a safe place to transform back.

----

Adrien stumbled into his room after taking a long shower in a failed attempt to wash off his embarrassment of what he had had to do to save the day.

“I'm so glad this day is over,” he said, walking over to the bed.

“Ah, not gonna spend Valentine's with your sweetheart?” Plagg asked in what he knew was a mocking tone. “Wait, who was that again? Pigtails or Goldilocks?”

“Ha, ha,” he sarcastically laughed before dropping on his bed. “Hopefully that's all the Akumas for a while. I don't think I can look Marigold in the eyes.”

Someone tapped on the window.

“Adrien,” Marigold said.

“AHHH!”

Damn, did he have some summoning power or what?!

Either way, he went on to quickly open the door. Marigold was not Scar, she deserved far better!

“Marigold! W-What brings you here?!”

“Well, I-I heard a rumor,” she said, bashfully. “About writing me a Valentine? That I definitely didn't hear at your school!”

He ignored the last part of the suggestion. It wasn't important, anyway.

“Oh! Um! Well!” he said, trying to come up with anything that wouldn't betray the truth. “I just, uh, wanted to show my appreciation! But, um, just as a hero of Paris, not because I have a crush on you!”

“Oh, that's a relief!” Marigold said with a sigh.

A relief?!

Hey, he didn't want to break Marigold's heart, but why was it a relief? Was he that horrible?

The truth hurt.

Unaware of the mental damage she had just caused, Marigold explained.

“The whole reason I became a hero was to protect my city and make things easier for Chat Noir. So to have your support, even after you saw me at my newest and clumsiest, makes me very happy.”

“Oh,” he replied, feeling his cheeks blush.

“Oh, um, and there's actually someone I'm in love with, so I'm glad I don't have to let you down or anything.”

“Huh, me too,” he admitted.

“Hm.”

Wonder who it is, he asked himself. Whoever Marigold loved had to be a swell guy.

----

Wonder who it is, she asked herself. Whoever Adrien loved had to be a sweet girl.

----

Up above, a narratorial face just covered itself with a palm.

Idiots, it christened them.

----

“Thanks for being my first fan, Adrien,” she finally said, and gave him a sweet kiss to the cheek.

“Ah,” he said, surprised.

“Happy Valentine's Day!” Marigold cheered, and Adrien watched her jump off his window and into the February night, his heart beating as his palm covered the place where the heroine had just kissed him.

Then he realized what he was doing and hit himself on the chest.

“No 'doki doki'! You're in love with Marinette!” he admonished his own heart.

----

“Kim asked me to be his girlfriend!”

“Wonderful. How did that happen?”

“Not well at first, I thought he was actually asking Chloé, but it turned out to be a mistake, because he wanted to ask me and I just didn't realize it before I left. He even got Akumatized because of it, and when I found him he told me everything and he even kissed me!”

“Good. Now I won't have to maim him.”

“You what?”

----

“SHE SAID YES! SHE SAID YES!”

“I know, Kim, you have been shouting that for the past hour. But I am still happy for you.”

“Thank you, Max, you're the best friend I could have!”

“You can pay me back by not engaging into overt public displays of affection while I'm nearby.”

“Huh? Oh, fine, I won't. What does 'overt' mean, anyway?”

----

Intermission

@zoe-oneesama Think Hawkmoth will get his heart literally broken?

@msweebyness Hope you liked the second of your favorite duo's chapters!

Alright, that's the Kim/Ondine part done. I hope it fit your expectations!

About Kagami's mention of Valentine's Day in Japan, it's pretty much spot on - girls give chocolate to their male friends and the guys they like, with the former usually getting "obligation chocolate", and a month later, during White Day, guys will give the girls white chocolate in response.

Curiously, the real "couples' day" in Japan is Christmas instead of Valentine's Day.

Now, we cruise into a mostly calm episode in Intermission, before coming back to action with Animan!

[lamelycool]

I'm So Sorry

A/n: Love some family dynamics man. Anyays Uh this got really long. If you want the slightly extended ending I can post that too just ask! I hope you guys like it. Oh and if you see any errors/typos feel free to let me know:)

Warnings: mental issues, paranoia, character injury, character death?, blood/injury, self harm?

Summary: Data is worried he is broken. Is it all in his head or is there something seriously wrong with him? Can the crew save him from seemingly himself?

I'm sorry Commander, but that's wrong." Wesley speaks up timidly.

"What do you mean?" Commander Data asks with a tilt of his head.

"Well, you said quadrant 4,5 yes?" Wesley asks nervously.

"I said quadrant 4.9,5.6 correct. Have I misspoken?" He asks. From anyone else the question may seem defensive or condescending, but not him. He asks like he asks any other question, with an earnest child-like curiosity.

"Yes sir. It's in quadrant 7,8 not 4,5." Wesley says, looking over at Data. He can't help but feel nervous at calling him out. He knows he's right, but him being right means Data is wrong. And that doesn't sit right with Wesley.

"You're only off by 3! But..." Wesley trails off.

Data looks down at the console and rechecks his calculations. "Indeed, you are correct Wesley. I am unsure as to how I thought it was 4.9,5.6 it is clearly 7.9,8.6." Data tilts his head. "Intriguing... When I run self-diagnostics I am functioning within normal parameters? But that is obviously untrue."

Wesley smiles sheepishly. His cheeks are lightly flushed from embarrassment. "It's alright! Mistakes happen sometimes sir." He soothes emptily thinnly veiling his concern. Data doesn't make mistakes unless something's wrong.

"But usually I do not make mistakes." Data replies. "I apologize for my error."

Wesley shakes his head. "Don't worry about it Mr. Data." He turns back to his console and tries slow his racing thoughts.

Why was Data off?

Is he alright?

Was it a simple mistake?

A minor error? System fluke?

Or is it something more serious?

Wesley takes a shaky breath. Panicking won't help anything. Data is fine. Data is always fine. He takes a deep breath and refocuses his attention to work.

"Captain?" Data speaks up, turning his seat to face him.

"Yes Data?" Picard looks up from his pad.

"May I be excused sir?" Data asks. He politely continues, "I would like to go to engineering so that Geordi can run further diagnostics on me. I fear that I may be malfunctioning."

"Of course Data take your time." Picard says kindly with a nod.

Data stands then looks down at Wesley. "Would you like to take over for me while I am away?"

Wesley nods quickly. "Yes sir, thank you." He slides over and takes Data's place.

Once Data is relieved of his duty he exists the bridge and enters the turbolift. After selecting his floor he hits his com, "Geordi, do you have time to meet with me in engineering?"

"Of course I do Data! You know I always have time for you. And besides, things are pretty slow down here anyways. Is everything all right?"

"I am unsure Geordi. I believe I may be malfunctioning." Data says with an off tone. Almost anxious. Hearing this rings alarms bells in Geordi's head but he brushes it off. Too soon to worry, it could just be a false alarm.

"Like the last time you thought you were malfunctioning because you tripped?" Geordi jokes trying to keep the mood light.

"My optical sensors were off." Data shoots back.

"Very minutely my friend. Veryy minutely." Data can practically hear Geordi's 100 watt smile through the com. It also isn't hard for him to imagine Geordi shaking his head at his antics.

"Anyways I'll meet up with you and see what I can do about your lil problem. See you soon, Geordi out."

***

"I'm sorry Data I just don't see a problem. I've checked everything. And I mean e v e r y t h i n g. You are functioning just fine. Heck, you're functioning better than the last time you came in." Geordi says exasperated.

"Perhaps we sh-"

"Data." Geoedi grabs him by the shoulders gentle but firm. Looking into Data's eyes he says, "You're fine. Really don't worry so much. Maybe you should just rest for the day? Take your mind off things."

"Perhaps...Perhaps that is a good idea. Thank you Geordi." Data says sincerely.

"Of course Data. Anytime. Now then, go rest!" Geordi sends him away with a pat on the back and shoos him out of engineering.

***

Deanna's therapy sessions with Data were usually quite normal. She would listen to his observations and inquiries about the human condition. And about his journey of becoming, what he already is in her opinion, a person and more human like. She would only interrupt occationally to give her imput and advice when needed. While some might find his rambling annoying and monotonous, she finds it quite enjoyable. His unending stream of spoken consciousness is soothing, curious, and pure. Not to mention the lack of intense and intrusive emotions attacking her psyche is also pleasant.

But today was different. It was anything but a normal session. The moment he walked through the door she could sense something was off. He didn't speak nearly as much and even requested that she lead the session today. And when he did speak he responded breif and monotone. He seemed to be more interested in looking at the table or at his hands than at her. He avoided her eye contact like the plague.

While Deanna didn't want to push him to talk to her, she still wanted to know what was bothering him. She tried to give him time to process and open up on his own. But soon they were already halfway through the session and he still hadn't even hinted as to what was bothering him. So she decided it was time to be direct and just ask.

"Data...is everything alright? What is bothering you?" She asks him softly. But as he had been doing alot this session, he simply sits unresponsive. His eyes staring down at his hands unblinking. It was as if he was in another world, in a trance.

"Data?" She tries again to gain his attention. This time she even snaps her fingers in front of him trying to bring him back to the real world.

"..." He still didn't respond. That's it....

"Data!"

Data jolts his head up and looks at her eyes wide open. A second passes until he blinks slowly and fully snaps out of his daze. As if his processors just now decided to begin working.

"I am sorry counselor...what were you saying?" He tilts his head slightly, he still sounds far off and untethered but at least he's responding now.

"Are you alright? You were spaced out for quite some time." Deanna inquires brows furrowed. She could quite literally feel that something was off with him now. It was subdued but definitely present.

"Yes." Data responds automatically. Then after a beat of silence he shakes his head. "Actually no...I am not 'all right'. I worry that I am broken."

"Broken? Oh data." She croons and grabs his hands. "Why would you ever think you are broken?"

"Everything is...wrong" he looks down at their joined hands. He opens his mouth to speak again but no words come out.

"What do you mean Data? What's wrong? Are you feeling...off?" She offers.

"I cannot feel." He states robotically like he has many times before.

"Data..." She gives him a gentle yet pointed look.

"Sorry. Yes, I fee.... I am off. I am having calculation errors, I am unable to focus, and I always have the sensation of being watched although I know I am not. I feel as though I am not safe..." Data says anxiously now fidgeting with his and Deanna's hands.

"Oh my Data. I could see how that would make you feel off! When did this all start?" Her mind begins to race is someone stalking him or is it paranoia? Is it possible for him to be paranoid?

"I believe a week ago? Not long after we arrived in the Lohrn Cluster." Data answers quietly after some thought.

"Data... that was 2 weeks ago not one." She says eyeing him more concerned now. He doesn't make simple mistakes like that ever. Maybe he isn't being stalked and it is more than just paranoia.

"This is odd. Maybe you are suffering a malfunction? Have you spoke to Geordi?"

"I am not malfunctioning, Geordi already checked and said there was nothing wrong with me. He checked multiple times quite meticulously. But he still found no abnormalities."

"What about Beverly? Perhaps she would be able to help." Deanna says hopefully. "Maybe she could find something that was overlooked or have an idea of how to help?"

"Perhaps...thank you Counselor." Data stands and begins walking to the door. Deanna trails closely behind him hand on his lower back.

"Of course Data. Oh! How about in the meantine we start meeting more often. I'd say at least twice a week? Is that alright with you?" She asks gently. She wants to keep an eye in him. To make sure this isn't as serious as she feels it is.

Data nods stiffly, "That seems to be a good idea. Thank you again Counselor."

"Not a problem Data if you have any more concerns contact me." She gives Data a soft hug. It is brief and soon after he leaves out the door.

'I hope that it will help him. It pains me seeing him so out of sorts.' She thinks to herself watching him leave.

***

"I'm sorry Data I ju-

"Can not find anything? There is nothing wrong with me? I am in perfect condition right?" Data interrupts shooting up from his seat in frustration.

"Data!" Beverly looks at him in shock. Its not as though he yelled or even snapped at her. Its just so out of character for him to behave this way. Data sinks back down onto the medbed.

"I apologize Dr. It is just disheartening that no one can find what is wrong with me. And it seems as though no one believes me." Data speaks softly. Sounding like a scolded child, a sad, scared and scolded child.

"Data...I believe you! It's just I can't find the problem, you seem perfectly healthy! But that's obviously not the case...You are acting out of character and seem to be experiencing severe discomfort. I'm very concerned Data." She admits. Bev rubs Data's back in support and to comfort. It pains her to see her normally energetic and kind Data....so broken and sad. He may deny all emotions but times like this proves otherwise.

"Dr? Am...am I crazy?" Data chokes out.

"No! No, you're not crazy!" She tilts his chin up making him look her in the eye. She lets out a gasp when their eyes meet. His eyes are brimming with golden tears. "Oh my poor Data..." She mummurs to him.

That's what finally broke the dam. Golden tears begin pouring down his face and sobs wrack his body making him tremble like a leaf. Beverly pulls Data into her embrace, holding him tightly. She speaks gently trying to soothe him and whispers sweet nothings in his ear. She pats his back and rocks him gently. All the same as she would to Wesley when he was just a boy. And in an odd way she does see Data like a son and holds a lot of love for him. So to see him cry well... basically every cry he lets out is another stab to her poor maternal heart.

Beverly decides the best course of action is to get the captain. She knows how much Data looks to him for support. And he ought to be able to calm himself down. So she taps her com badge. "Captain I need your assistance down in medbay. It's Data. Bring the counselor aswell if possible."

"Is he alright? What's going on?"

"You will have to see for yourself, please just hurry." Bev says exasperated.

"On my way now."

***

"Beverly?" Picard calls out entering sickbay.

"Back here." She calls softly to him just from the other room.

The captain makes his way back following her voice. When he steps into the doorway he freezes in shock at what he sees. Data, sobbing in Beverly's arms. Him whimpering and whining in a small wavering voice.

"Where's Deanna?" She mouths.

"Busy." He breathes out.

"Talk to him" Bev mouths. Picard looks at her wide eyed and shakes his head. The captain doesn't do well with tears. And with mushy sentiments.

"I don't know how." he whispers panicked. He honestly has no clue how to deal with emotions. Much less an androids. She gives him a pointed glare then rolls her eyes.

"Hey, Data? I have to go for a moment alright? Talk to the captain for now. I will be right back." She carefully untangles herself from him. Then goes to leave before the captain can protest. And she leaves Jean-Luc with the sniffling android to fend for himself. She knows the stubborn man can handle it.

Seconds pass until Picard gathers himself and his courage. And then he quietly crosses the room and takes a seat beside Data.

"Data...what is the matter?" The Captain asks rubbing Data's back.

"Eeverything...I am broken...aand now mmy chest hurts. I hurt. I should not hurt. My eyes are leaking. I aam broken. I do not waant to be broken." Data stutters out his lips quivering barely holding back his cries. Seeing Data so distressed breaks through Captains tough exterior and right into his heart nearly bringing himself to tears. Picard struggles to stay composed.

"Data you...you are not broken. It's normal to cry when overwhelmed. Just take some deep breaths with me. Then we can talk more." Picard orders. And so they sit there together simply breathing in and out. In and out. Until Data calms down. While he is alot calmer, his breath is still shaky and tears stain his alabaster cheeks gold.

"Now Data. How are you feeling?"

"I...I am unsure. I am conflicted. I was unaware I could cry." He sniffles sniffles.

"I was too Data...I was too. Would you like to talk about it?"

"Nno sir, if I may I would like to go to my room." Data requests, seemingly more composed than before. But he avoids looking into the Captain's eyes. Because he'd surely see right through him otherwise. And he'd burst back into tears. Data can't handle it he can barely think straight.

"That's fine Data. But I think you should go to engineering first to talk to Geordi. Then after you may have the day off."

"Yes sir...thank you. I'm sorry for crying." Data quips ready to leave as soon as possible.

"Don't worry about that Data." Picard shakes his head and gives Data a pat on the shoulder. "I'm just glad you're alright."

'I do not feel "alright"' Data thinks to himself as he leaves the medbay. He forgoes going to engineering and goes straight to his room instead. It is pointless to bother Geordi he thinks. He already knows what he will be told. He can't stand to hear it again. All he wants is to go home and hold Spot.

***

"I'm sorry I couldn't come with you captain what is it that you needed?" Deanna asks.

"Data he had an outburst."

"An outburst?"

"He was crying...he was sobbing."

"I- I didn't know he could cry." Deanna says in shock.

Picard laughs ruefully. "Neither did I."

"Is he alright?" She asks.

"No...No I don't think so. Deanna, you've spoken to him what do you think is going on?"

"I'm not certain captain but perhaps he is going through a break through of sorts? He has been seeming more and more emotional lately. Maybe the newly developing emotions are overwhelming him? Leaving him in a vulnerable state, much like a child still learning how to regulate emotions."

"If that's the case then what should we do?" Picard questions.

"For now I'd say it's best to just let him know we are here for him and give him guidance when he needs it." She sighs. "Other than that there's not much else I know to do...I wish I could be of more help."

"You are doing all you can Deanna. You're doing a great job."

"I know but I just don't feel like I'm doing enough." She sighs.

***

"Worf?"

Worf turns on his barstool to face Data. "Yes Lt. Data?"

"May I join you?" He asks.

Worf looks at him for a second then nods turning back the bar with a grunt. Data slides into the barstool beside him as Worf sips his cranberry juice. He waits for Data to speak first and observes him from the corner of his eye in the meanwhile. Worf's trained eyes quickly notice Data's on edge and fidgety behavior opposed to his usual calm and collected self.

"Worf may I ask you a question?" Data speaks up.

"You may." Worf turns to give him his full attention.

"I am uncertain as to how I should word this so I will not 'beat around the bush'." Data pauses and then speaks meakly, "I feel unsafe."

This catches Worf's attention as cheif of security. "What do you mean? Is someone giving you trouble? You just have to name them and I will see it handled, you need not worry!" Worf states fiercly sincere. He would do everything in his power to keep his family safe and Data is no exception.

"No, that will not be necessary. No one is giving me trouble. I simply feel unsafe in my mind... I seek your advice Worf. I do not know what to do."

Data avoids eye contact with Worf. He's not even sure why he felt the need to reach out to Worf. What could he do about the fact that Data is losing his mind? Not even the Dr or Counselor could help him.

"I see..." Worf pauses a moment to think. "You are a strong warrior you need not worry. But I will still keep an eye out for you just in case. If you would like you are welcome to join my Mok'bar class. It would help you to clear your mind."

"Thank you Worf. I will keep that in mind." Data states standing up from the bar.

"No need for thanks. Your safety is my duty." Worf grunts. He gives Data a strong pat on the back and then watches him leave.

***

"Data? Are you there?" Geordi calls from the hall. Geordi, Will, Deanna, and Worf have been waiting for quite awhile. They all decided to come to Data's room when he failed to show for their scheduled poker game. He also failed to respond to any of their messages.

When they get no answer Will decides to call this time. "Data are you there? Its Will." This time a faint buzz like hum can be heard from inside the room.

"Do you hear that noise?" Will asks. The group all agrees to hearing it and unease grows amongst them. This is such an odd situation and unlike Data. Although he has been acting stranger and stranger lately.

"That's it! Data if you do not respond now I will be forced to use my emergency override!" Worf barks out. After a moment of waiting he overrides the lock and storms into Data's room. His hand over his phaser ready to draw if necessary. The others enter behind him more cautiously.

A scan of the room the quickly reveals the cause of the ominous buzz. Data on the floor. Laying sprawled out on his stomach twitching. His face turned at an odd angle looking at them eyes open and unblinking. In a pool of his blood.

"Data?" Geordi calls urgently and rushes over to him. "Data!"

Geordi quickly kneels over Data who's breath is coming out in short sputtered gasps.

The others all stand in their own forms of shock and grief. Deanna cries as Will holds her against him. He is unable to look away from his friend's seizing body. Worf is comming Dr. Crusher, his eyes look anywhere but Data.

Geordi reaches down and rolls Data onto his back. His eyes spasm unfocused as his body continues to twitch. The buzzing hum coming from Data's slightly parted lips becomes more audible.

Geordi's quickly scans his friend and immediately notices the problem. There is damage to Data's bioplast in multiple areas, but mainly his throat which is ripped out. There is further damage across his temple with sparks flying from it. And finally in Data's steel clutch there are several wires and chunks of his bioplast.

"Data...what have you done?" Geordi looks down at him. His pale skin glistens with sweat and yellow blood that pours from him. "G-Geor-i" he spurtters out garbled by his blood. Geordi's eyes widen in surprise.

"Data! Stay with me buddy! You're gonna be okay. I gotcha...its okay." Geordi mummurs out while trying to stop the bleeding. He presses his trembling hands up against Data's throat. The room is so silent yet so loud. Deanna's soft cries with Will doing his best to soothe her. Worf's foot fall as he paces restlessly. And the hum from Data which is steadily growing more faint and quiet by the minute. Until finally the sound of loud voices and running can be heard from the hall.

"I'm here move out of the way!" Dr. Crusher commands as she rushes through the door. A couple other nurses rush in behind her silently awaiting her orders. Dr. Crusher comes to a stop and crouches beside Geordi and Data. With trained eyes she assesses the damage and has to hold back a gasp at the sight. It's worse than she was expecting. How could she expect this? Data soaked in his golden blood, eyes unfocused as if he was already dead. Lifeless. She shudders at the thought. She pushes her own feelings down with a deep breath and lets the doctor within her take over.

Beverly orders her nurses to prepare the gurney and to gently load him onto it. She turns back to Geordi. "Are you coming? We will need your help. You know his body best." She asks Geordi urgently.

"Y-Yes. I will. We should get him to engineering. Quickly." He stutters out to her trying to stay strong for Data. She nods and they all sprint to engineering.

***

"How are you buddy?" Geordi asks.

"I-I am bbrok...n." Data garbles out.

"I can tell." He chuckles mirthlessly. "I'm going to shut you off to prevent any further damage to your circuits is that okay?" He asks wanting Data's consent. He hates having to shut Data off as is. Much less without explicit consent. Feels wrong like killing his friend. Even though he knows he'll spring back to life the second he switches him back on.

Data tries to respond but chokes on blood and sputters. He instead responds with a small twitch of a nod with honeyed tear streaming down his face. Geordi tears up at the sight and reluctantly shuts him off watching his body go limp. Geordi flinches at the sight and calls the Dr. It's time.

***

"Worf how are you holding up?" Will asks worriedly. Worf has been silent doing nothing but stiffly standing by the door for over an hour now. And while Will may not be able to help Data, he can and will help Worf.

"Fine." Worf growls out in response.

Will approaches him slowly. "Worf, its okay to n-

"I said I'm fine!" Worf shouts punching the wall beside him. Will flinches in his spot not moving any closer.

"I- I am sorry...It's just..." He stammers struggling to find the right words. Will nods encouragingly and waits for Worf to continue.

"It was shocking to see Data like that. So hurt and fragile...I forgot he is capable of being hurt... Of dying" Worf lets out a shaky sigh. "But more so I'm angry! I'm angry that this could happen! That he would do this! That...That I didn't stop him."

"Worf none of us knew this would happen. Its not your fault."

"He came to me! For advice... for help! He needed me and I couldn't help him. When has he ever failed me? Never, he has always been there for me. And this is how I repay him? Leaving him for death..." Worf vents his anger his pain. Raging and raving to Will. When hes done he's left out of breath, sitting against the wall with Will beside him.

"Feel better?" Will asks with a weak smile.

"Yes...thank you"

***

"How is he doing?" The Captain asks Geordi.

Geordi sighs pinching the bridge of his nose. "He is is fully repaired and is rebooting now. But I won't be able to tell if there is any permanent damage to his neural net until he wakes up."

"What happened to him Geordi?"

Geordi stands silently then sighs. "He...It looks like he did it to himself. But why?" Geordi sighs defeated and begins pacing.

"Why would he do that? Why hurt himself? Was it a suicide attempt? I don't think he would try to kill himself. He's never even mentioned having suicidal thoughts! At least not since he was first activated. When he was dealing with neural pathway developments. But not now. It doesn't make sense," Geordi rambles hands shaking.

The Captain walks over and puts a hand on Geordi's shoulder. "Look I understand you're upset. I'm worried too. But there is nothing we can do about it right now. So let's focus on getting him back to full functionality and stable. Then we can discuss with him and try to get some answers."

"Okay yah. Yah... you're right." Geordi shakily nods.

"And to be safe we'll have Counselor Troi run an evaluation him. The Captain pulls him into a tight hug. "It's going to be okay Geordi."

"II know its just...I thought we lost him! Thatthat I lost him..." Geordi mummers in Picard embrace. Even though he tried to hold it in some tears fall. It's just too much for him to bear. Spending hours piecing together his friend's broken bloody body like some sick jigsaw puzzle. It took a huge toll on him.

"He's still alive thanks to you and Dr. Crusher's hard work. All thats left is figuring out the root of the problem and helping Data out." Picard rubs Geordi's back soothingly.

***

"Why did you do it?" Geordi asks in a trembling voice. "Why?"

Data looks around at the faces of his friends. He feels a sense of embarrassment and guilt. "I-I am not sure. It was like I was not in control of my body. I was just trying to get it out."

"Get what out Data?" Deanna asks gently. She moves to soothe Data.

"I do not know." He goes silent. He drowns in shame. He does not want them to think he is crazy. Seeing this Will quickly stops Data's spiraling thoughts.

"It's okay. We're going to figure it out Data don't worry." Will pats Data's shoulder. Deanna nods in agreement and grabs ahold of Data's hand shooting him a supportive smile.

"Geordi, have you looked into the circuitry that Data pulled? Maybe that has something to with it." Dr. Crusher asks.

"I did but there was nothing wrong with any of it... other than the damage from being pulled." Geordi trails off.

"Have you tried using a different setting on your scanner?" Worf speaks up. Everyone turns to look at him. Worf flushes at all the attention. "What?"

"Thats a great idea...why haven't I thought of that? Maybe there is something but it is not being picked up!" Geordi exclaims and starts adjusting his scanner. He scans and adjusts until finally he picks something up.

Geordi gasps and drops his scanner. "Oh my god..." He covers his mouth with his hand.

"What is it? What have you found Geordi?" The captain urges. The room is tense as everyone waits for Geordi to explain what is wrong with their Data.

"There is some type of parasite attached to his circuitry...and this whole time...I never noticed." Geordi mumbles nearly in tears again.

"We have to remove it, destroy it!" Worf growls out breaking the silence.

"Hold on hold on!" Riker says holding up his hand. "What exactly is it and where did it come from? Have we ever seen anything like this before?"

"No, not that I can think of," Geordi replies.

"This is not good news." The captain sighs. "All right, I want you to take Data to sickbay and see if you and Dr. Crusher can find a way to remove whatever it is that's attached to him."

"Yes sir." Geordi and Dr. Crusher leave with Data in tow.

Riker turns to the captain, "Do you think this might be related to our arrival in the Lohrn Cluster?"

" It does seem too coincidental that all this begins happening to Data at the same time we arrive here." Worf adds.

"Actually, you two might be right! I just remembered that Data mentioned he first started having issues shortly after we arrived." Deanna exclaims.

"Maybe we have an answer then," Riker replies.

Picard nods. "Well, let's hope so."

***

The next two days were busy ones for everyone. Dr. Crusher and La Forge working hard to find a way to remove the parasite from Data. And the rest of the crew is busy checking all of the systems on the Enterprise to make sure they were not infected. So far they have spotted only spotted a group of parasites attached to one of the navigational systems.

Weasley is also busy trying to figure out exactly where the parasites came from. And he's running experiments to see what affects them. And when he finally finds something he reports it back to Picard.

"Captain, I may have a lead for you."

"Excellent, tell me about it. Anything at this point would help us figure out how to get rid of these things." Picard says happy to have any answers.

"It seems that the parasites are attracted to specific frequencies. They will not attach to any of the lower frequency settings." He holds up a screen that shows two different settings on a transporter system.

"If we could somehow change the setting, they might not attach to it." Wesley says hopefully.

"This is a great lead thank you Wesley. Please share your findings with Mr. La Forge immediately." The captain orders.

"Yes sir!" Wesley runs off to med bay to speak with his mother and Geordi.

***

"That's genius Wesley! And I believe we already have proof to support your theory! I was able to find damage from other parasites that were present in Data's system. But when I found them they were already dead. The humming that Data was making when we first found him might have been what killed them!" Geordi says excited to finally have some solutions. He is ready to finally solve this problem once and for all.

"Happy to help." Wesley says bashfully then he turns to Data, "Data would you be able to do the humming again?" Wesley asks.

"I can try but I do not remember humming." Data says quietly. He is extremely worn down and drained. The parasite is physically and mentally exhausting him.

"That's alright just try. It was a deeper buzz like hum." Geordi describes. "I will be scanning the parasite I will let you know when there is a change. Alright?"

Data nods and starts to produce a hum noise progressively getting lower until. "Data there perfect! It is reacting."

Data continues the hum and the parasite struggles against the frequency until it dies. "Its dead Data! Good job." Geordi exclaims relieved.

"I am glad." Data sighs tired but happy it's finally over. "Thank you all. I am sorry for all the trouble."

"Of course Data! And you're no trouble! It's my fault! I should have taken you more seriously. I'm so sorry..." Geordi apologizes disappointed in himself. He should have believed his friend from the start, he shouldn't have brushed him off. This could have gone much worse. He would never have forgiven himself if Data had permanent damage or worse...died because of his negligence. Hech he can't forgive himself for anything right now as is.

"Geordi it is not your fault." Data gently brushes Geordi's cheek with his finger tips. "You could not have known. Besides everything is all right now."

Geordi laughes, "I'm supposed to be comforting you right now not the other way around." Data's lip twitches into a slight soft smile.

"It's good to have you back Data." Dr. Crusher pats Data on the back interrupting their moment.

"I missed you Data!" Wesley exclaims jumping between them and pulling Data and Geordi into a big hug. Beverly laughs watching them. She can't wait to tell the others that Data is well again. After all its good to have the family back together again.

[crownmemes]

Elementary Sentences, Vol. 3

(Sentences from Elementary (2012-2019). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"I would never suggest that a woman cannot melt corpses."

"Your romantic inclinations are not a flaw to be corrected; they're a trait to be accepted."

"I know you, and I know you'll never be happy within the confines of a 'traditional relationship.' I said what I said because it pains me to see you try to fit into one simply because it is the default mode of polite society."

"Did you bring a child with you to work today?"

"It is a poor detective that blames her evidence."

"You must understand that you will always be special to me."

"Can we do something besides talk about murder?"

"Imagine sitting for an oil portrait in this day and age. The hubris practically leaks off the canvas."

"What is wrong with me? I'm not feeling anything I'm supposed to be feeling..."

"I'm an expert in many things, but love is not one of them."

"You think this is an exercise in self-pity?"

"It's a form of torture, having to swim through my old life."

"Would it not have been simpler to just tell me?"

"You're not a doctor anymore, and I'm not your patient."

"If you want to drag your feet on this, feel free. Just keep in mind, this investigation could be handled quietly, or it could show up on the evening news."

"Do you plan to reproduce? Are you going to procreate at some point?"

"The things that I do, you think that I do them because I'm a good person. I do them because it would hurt too much not to."

"It hurts. All this. Everything I see, everything I hear, touch, smell. The conclusions that I'm able to draw, the things that are revealed to me."

"You helped me when I needed help. I won't forget it."

"I've thought long and hard about it and, after many, many hours, I've come to the most wretched of realizations: you are my friend."

"Well, I confess to being surprised that this has escaped my attention."

"I have what some may call a strong personality."

"Sometimes, without meaning to, I can bend others to my point of view."

"You are, in your own way, a lonelier man than me."

"The great love of my life is a homicidal maniac. No one's perfect."

"I don't have enough caffeine in my system to understand you right now."

"What is existence but the absorption of and the reaction to the data that the universe presents?"

"That's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard you say, and I've known you a long time."

"Justice is like an orgasm; it can never come too late."

"My behaviour was inexcusable, and I do apologize."

"I let myself in. I hope you don't mind?"

"I've always been willing to go to great lengths to protect my family."

"How much do you really know of my father?"

"Spies don't have motives; they have orders."

"If I've learned one thing over the past couple of years, it's the importance of making amends."

"The past is the past; I wish to move forward."

"Ask yourself; when you were a boy, could anyone have parented you?"

"You're not a cop; you're a citizen with delusions of grandeur."

"Perhaps it's best that I don't hear the full explanation."

"I don't think that either of us is a fool."

"You don't care for my father much, do you?"

"You are one of the best liars that I have ever met, and that's saying something."

"You seem angrier than I'd expected. May I ask why?"

"Respectfully, I don't like that theory."

"You can never just drop anything, can you?"

"It's been a long time since you've enjoyed any intimate contact."

[ilikekidsshows]

Thank you for all of your meta/analysis post! I've been binge reading your ML post and sadly, I too has lost interest in miraculous ever since s4 and even more so when I saw a clips that kind of confirmed that at least Kagami and Felix are senti. If Adrien too is a senti then it's no longer the story that I want to watch, after he's degraded to become a sidekick by s4, thinking that he'd be something less than a human just sadden me greatly especially since I've been in similar position as him and I'm always want to see how he free himself. But if he's a senti then his life is at the mercy of his cousin and even though felix said that the act of creating and deleting a sentimonster is monstrous and he won't do that, it still doesn't sit right for me. I want a story about a child who's abused by their BIOLOGICAL parents and try to get free from that toxic environment, not another Disney-esque story where the child is abused by their step parents and need a magic to break free or a prince charming to save them. Oh well it was good while it last I guess.

Thanks! Yeah, a lot of us who like Adrien a bit too much are dropping the show after we saw how season four treated him. Frankly, I was actually briefly worried that season five might end up being good, because then I'd have to watch season four to catch up. So season five being even worse is technically a good thing since now I don't have to watch "Kuro Neko". Frankly, with how different the show ended up feeling from what got me into it, I consider the start of season four a retooling of the series and seasons 1-3 the original Miraculous.

Apparently the new take on what real life family situation SentiAdrien parallels is artificial semination/fertility treatments, to try to deflect from the accusation that the concept demonizes unconventional family structures. However, that just means they're now demonizing fertility treatments. There are sects who fully believe that getting fertility treatments is going against some higher power that has decided that you'd be an unfit parent (many fundamentalist christian groups naturally believe this). Having the couples who resorted to magical fertility treatments always include at least one person who by all rights shouldn't have kids (Tomoe, Mr. Fathom according to Félix and supposedly Gabriel) is very much in line with this kind of thinking.

There's a reason I've been saying "the Sentimonsters better not be a metaphor for anything". The thing is that the very concept of "sentipeople" is so misguided that it will end up demonizing whatever group it's trying to drum up sympathy for. In addition, the instant you start to think about what being a Sentimonster would mean to a person, it becomes horrific. I can't see there being a satisfying conclusion because I don't care if the Amok or Peacock are in the hands of someone trustworthy: it's inherently wrong for anyone to have that power over another person. And Félix isn't even trustworthy.

If the 2002 He-Man was in Miraculous, he'd crush the Peacock Miraculous into dust and free Duusu to return to concept space. It's really the safest and the only morally correct choice.

[scarlet-bee]

[ID: A digital drawing, with the words "Happy Thanksgiving!" written at the top. Below the words is a person with a light skin tone. Her brown hair is long and wavy, and she wears glasses.

The person's eyes are closed, as she smiles with her mouth open. She is making a heart shape with her hands. End ID.]

(I used she/her because I assume the person in the drawing is you, feel free to correct me if I got anything wrong!)

Thank you!! Sorry I got to this so late! I don't really celebrate Thanksgiving anymore, but I still really appreciate this! :) [smiling face emoticon]

(The next few paragraphs aren't aimed at you specifically, just Americans who celebrate Thanksgiving in general.)

Admittedly, I'm not very educated on the actual history of Thanksgiving (AKA the full story, not just the version they teach us in school). However, I have read some about it, and I've seen Native Americans speak on how they feel about the holiday, which is enough to make me not want to support it anymore. I don't want to celebrate a holiday that originated from colonization and genocide, regardless of how much we try to seperate it from that origin.

I do still eat Thanksgiving dinner with my family (out of fear of how they'd react if I refused to take part), but I pretty much just think of it as a regular meal. I do acknowledge that I'm still technically taking part in the celebration, though, and it's on me that I haven't gotten the courage to speak up about it to my family yet.

I can't tell anyone to stop celebrating (I'd be a hypocrite if I did, and I obviously can't control what other people do), but I do urge my fellow Americans to learn more about the history behind Thanksgiving, listen to Native Americans about the topic, and make your own decision based on that knowledge. I recommend this post as a starting point.

Most importantly, we need to listen to and support Native Americans and other Indigenous people all year round, not just on days like Thanksgiving and Columbus Day. We need to keep working to educate ourselves, listen to Indigenous people, boost their voices, and support them monetarily when we're able to.

(Back to talking to just you now!)

This probably wasn't the response you were expecting, haha. I know you were just trying to wish me a happy holiday, so I kind of didn't want to be a "downer," but I wouldn't have felt right posting something about Thanksgiving without acknowledging all of this. Like I said, though, I do really appreciate the thought behind this! It's nice that you thought of me, and it always makes me happy when people draw things for me! Thanks again for the well wishes and for the art!! <3 [heart emoticon]

[thejosh1980]

Some mothers do 'ave 'em...

I recently met up with a close friend and over a cup of coffee, and a few more on following weeks, he shared his story regarding the recent breakdown of his relationship with his mum. 

He shared his feelings of loss, and potential long term damage, of his relationship with his most significant close family member, his mother.

As he shared, I came to understand over the years he'd learnt to let the distance grow between himself and some family members, or chosen to set boundaries with others, due to various reasons, the overall decision based on challenging relationship dynamics. 

He came to realise some of his family was toxic and dysfunctional, and he had to protect himself. He had learnt that while you can't choose your family, you can choose if you have a relationship with them.

His mum was the only constant. While there had been a few challenges between them, overall he felt it had been a good relationship, until now.

He said he felt some bad vibes leading up to the “conversation”, although he trusted that if there were any problems that his mum felt needed addressing, she would speak up, allowing him the chance to correct, change or extend his support, connection and relationship with her in a manner that would bring closeness, not distance, to their world.

I've known him a long time, and I remember years ago he was different. Back then he just as likely to argue, push people away, manipulate, act out and do all sorts of things that would often times make matters worse.

Over the years, I've noticed he's learnt that's not the way to build bridges, develop bonds, and cultivate trust. He now believes in the importance of connection, talking things out, and being honest and open. 

I've experienced those changes within our friendship...

We've had plenty of chats about this kind of stuff over the years, and although still not perfect, he aims to focus on accountability, responsibility and strategies to learn how to develop healthier relationships. He's often reflecting, reevaluating and adjusting.

He's learnt people aren't mind readers, and playing games doesn't work. It's about speaking up before resentment sets in, setting boundaries, developing understanding between each other, not assuming and asking questions, and that a well thought out response is far more beneficial than an impulsive reaction. 

Being angry doesn't give anyone a “get out of jail free” card, to behave any which way they want. 

He told me how his mum had a go at him over a relatively minor issue with no warning. It sounded to him like she had been biting her tongue for a long time, and was just waiting for an excuse to unleash a brutal tirade of abuse and accusations, at one point calling him a “fuckin bastard”.

He remembers a lot of “all or nothing” type statements during that conversation too, things like “you are always rude”, or “you never say hello or goodbye”, “you're always doing your own thing, and never include me” and so on. It sounded to him like at some point, he's not sure when exactly, but she had decided everything he did was wrong.

He said she even mentioned something that upset her over a year ago, although he remembers having a chat about that back then. Well, maybe she forgot they spoke, but he's baffled as to why she didn't mention it when it first became a problem. 

Why hold onto it for a year?

He said it was like she was constantly setting him up for failure by keeping quiet on anything that was bugging her. Just adding another thing to the list of bad things he was doing, or not doing. More evidence to confirm her opinion that all he did was wrong, bad or rude.

When he tried to give examples that these statements were not true, or offered alternative (and true) reasons why he behaved the way he did, his Mum would hold the line, offer no response, or simply laugh it off and shift the focus to the next issue she had on her mind, effectively dismissing him and removing any responsibility and accountability on her part.

He conceded, that at times, he didn't have time or capacity to engage when she wanted to. In those (past) moments he would respond with “give me a minute” or “can we arrange that for another day”, or “I'll call you back”, all of which she took as a slight against her.

It wasn't the fact that his Mum had issues she needed to talk about and feelings to express, he knows some of it was important stuff. It was how she'd done it. He thinks she let the resentment build to boiling point, letting the insults, and the judgements fly... Causing more damage than any of the issues she raised could.

She was angry, she said what she said, and he has to deal with it now. 

He told me, even 2 months on, while it may be very easy to forget the hatred that was spoken, it is very difficult to forget the hatred that was heard. 

He said, “I really can't imagine ever having a reason or justification to say the things she said to me, to her. Yeah, shit comes up and if you feel it's important, you gotta talk it out. But exploding, going on the attack, is just unhelpful”.

The few times they have seen each other since that day, he felt that she hasn't realised the damage to their relationship and the pain he felt by those words. He has sleepless nights, constant self doubt and feelings of worthlessness, all because of a mother's “love”, and anger.

He said, the worst of it all, was that he felt he had let her down as a son. He can't remember if she actually said he was shit or no good as a son that day of the conversation, some of it is a blur. His take away from the conversation and her behaviour since, his overall feeling, was that he has never been a good son, ever. He has done very few things right since he was born, and that finally the truth about his mother's feelings about him are out in the open. 

He admitted there have been moments where he wonders if she regrets having him.

He said then something I wasn't expecting, but after all I've heard, shouldn't really be a surprise, “all I know is, I cause Mum pain just being around her. After hearing her words, its now clear to me. I want her to be happy, and that means keeping my distance”. 

I could see his pain as he spoke. I knew it was hard for him to share.

Yes she was angry, but what did she hope to achieve by saying such things in such an angry way?

We did discuss some of her background, what he knew of her childhood, her family and their struggles before he was born. There's several events from her childhood and younger days that likely affect her today, although she doesn't seem to be aware of it. I didn't offer this as an excuse for poor behaviour, only that it may help him gain some understanding. It might be if she ever wanted to look within, she may be able to trace back through her experiences, and recognise their affect on her feelings, thoughts and behaviours today.

He doubts she fully understands her core values and beliefs, and where they come from. It is surprising how just one sentence or experience (let alone many) as a young person, can have a life long affect on our perspectives, decisions and behaviours. 

He said to me “I just wish that any problems she may have had, she would have wanted to discuss it with me instead of building up to this brutal outburst”. He would have listened, and tried to come to a solution or arrangement that both could be satisfied with. 

He told me, “But right now, I just can't trust mum”.

He feels that any trust they had, disintegrated during that conversation. 

Sometime after the initial conversation he asked her what are her expectations for their relationship in the future, what kind of relationship does she want? She didn't know, and so he feels that if there is any hope of reestablishing connection, it would require effort on her part. 

The balls in her caught.

He spoke about this (un)development of his relationship with his mum and the complete sadness he feels that overshadows everything at the moment. There has been news, what most people would consider exciting news, in his life. Things he would normally share with his Mum, and now he feels he can't. How can he share this news when all the trust in her, and their relationship, has dissolved? If she can spin a positive story into a bad one, like in recent conversations, what's stopping her from twisting this news?

After one of our conversations I thought about how I would feel if my Mum used brutal and angry words expressing her discontent for my part in her life, out of the blue, with little warning. Honestly, I couldn't imagine it happening. It would be such a 180 on her behalf, it would surely put me into deep shock, deep depression or maybe worse.

I think I would be concerned for Mum, what was really going on with her? 

What happened......?

Mum, are you ok......? No really...... Are you OK?

But then, how could I ask her? How could we, after that trust was napalmed, begin to find a way back to trust, love and connection? 

I guess I would step back, go over what she said, and came to a similar conclusion to my friend. It would be clear, for now, she doesn't want me in her life anymore. I would read her actions loud and clear.

There's nothing I can say to my friend to help. What could I say that brings comfort in such an uncomfortable situation? 

All I can do is listen.

As painful as it is, it isn't unusual to hurt the ones closest to us. There's a trust there that the person closest will continue to love us, no matter how hard we push them away, no matter how much we hurt them. I know my friend loves his mum. I know he's feeling very hurt. I can only hope that steps are taken to mend the bridge that exploded a few months ago.

I'm not saying my friend is right and his Mum is wrong, I don't think the world can be viewed in black and white either, especially when it comes to relationship dynamics.

I don't know how many stories I've heard, or relationships I've been a part of, where resentment has crept in, built up and erupted uncontrollably. It can be a very evil and damaging, and these days I believe many times it can be nipped in the bud, simply by speaking up. 

In fact, I try my best to encourage myself, in fact force myself, to express my feelings when I start to feel that I am heading in the direction of resentment. 

Sure you have to trust the person you're speaking to, maybe they actually won't listen, or acknowledge you. Maybe they get angry because you said this or that. It's a risk. And I'd say if you let the resentment build (like my friend's Mum) to the point of exploding, there's a larger risk that the trust will be gone within moments of the volcano erupting, burning all in its wake.

Once spoken, words can be very hard to undo, even more so when the words are said in anger.

Let's not let anger get the better of us, or our actions.

Thanks for reading,

Josh

[americanbrffan]

Is Barkjaxk really reliable? I remember they put out something just before lili's birth, that she was born 2 days before, that Harry was seen pacing in front of his house the day before and was angry? Stressed? Something.

They also said the couple wouldn't be at the Jubilee. But they were.

Most things they say are very cryput, they hint that they know something damning, bombshell revelations. But that they can't say just yet. A bit of a tease, as I see it.

And when it's something they claim they knew, they always just say they knew all along. Or they refer to some generic tweet from 2/3 yrs ago and say that's what they keanth when they said 'big things happen behind the scenes' or some bland nonsense like that.

So why do we believe Barkjack? I don't follow them but I do follow some Tumblr accounts (incl yours. I love you!). So im always left scratching my head when a blogger says 'Barkjack says xyz, and they have proven themselves before, so...'

How have they proven themselves?

My rule of thumb is to take anyone claiming to have tea with a grain of salt. If they prove themselves over time, I become less skeptical, but I still never believe someone knows everything. Mainly because free will makes all predictions a moving target, so there's always the chance someone changes their mind or changes a date/time/place and the information that was true at the time has now changed. 🤷🏻‍♀️

That said, re: BarkJack - I've been following them for years now and have paid attention to not only their BRF tea but also their other celebrity gossip to see if they get that right as well. They don't often miss the mark, but when they do, they acknowledge it and take the hit to their reputation instead of trying to make excuses. That says a lot to me.

Case in point - based on their intel at the time, they reported H&M's first child would be a girl. When Archie was born, they immediately owned it and said they were wrong. People gave them a lot of grief about being wrong, but guess what we all found out recently - M's shower was all pink. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Of course a girl would've been everyone's assumption!

I didn't mind them being wrong about H&M attending the Jubilee (free will and all) because I was more interested in whether there would be any photographs/video of H&M with the senior royals, which BJ adamantly said wouldn't happen. And it didn't. They also stood their ground that the duo wouldn't appear on the balcony, despite H&M putting out numerous articles that they would, and that was correct also.

They do like to make cryptic remarks, which is tiresome, but I've actually used some of them to go searching for evidence myself. They said something about behind-the-scenes investigations and I remembered KC's new assistant private secretary was a barrister, so I looked into his background. Sure enough, he's an expert on data protection law. My hunch is they're investigating the links between all the hateful, anti-monarchy social media accounts to see if they can prove there are links that lead back to H&M. But that'll take time, so we'll have to wait and see...

My advice - take it all as gossip and hearsay. If it turns out correct, great; but if it doesn't, it's no big deal. It's mainly just possible BTS filler to what you're seeing in front of your eyes anyway. 😉

Sorry for the long-winded answer 🫢 and thanks for the ask! 🤗

[leroibobo]

to people sending me asks to promote their fundraisers: i prefer to reblog fundraisers to my fundraiser tag on my main blog dedicated to them (which i have linked at the end of this paragraph) because it keeps it all organized. you're more than welcome to send me these asks, just know that i'm not gonna publish them here, and will instead reblog your post to my main on that tag. on that note, please check out my fundraiser/"things to do" tag on my main. i also encourage you to check out el-shab-hussein's pinned post and the riding-with-the-wild-hunt and vetted-gaza-funds accounts for more organized fundraisers/resources.

this post, this post, and this post (as well as the links in the last paragraph) are dedicated to resources for information and action regarding issues i care about. if you like what this blog posts, i implore you to check it out, as it concerns the very real people who come from places i may post about.

i don't have a consistent schedule and just post whenever i feel like it. this may mean weeks at a time with nothing and then sudden posts. feel free not to follow/to unfollow if you're not into that.

dnis are as effective as "are you 18" popups on porn sites - i'm well aware of how performative they are, let alone that i can't actually stop anyone from interacting with my posts. still, because of what i happen to post as well as some weird interactions i've had throughout this blog's history, i feel obligated to state the following:

🇵🇸🇺🇦 = 👍

i don't look kindly on identity chauvanists ("pan-[anything]", race/religion/nationality/language/etc supremacists/chauvanists, etc) or regime/institution worship (yes, even the one you really like).

if you want to talk about something i wrote in that regard, i'm up for it as long as you're respectful. if you just want to be angry at me, please block me and leave me alone instead. it's not my responsibility to cater my blog to you no matter how egregiously you think i captioned pictures of buildings.

that being said, if i do actually get anything in one of my posts factually wrong, feel free to correct me. (i tend to mute notifications on posts with lots of notes, so i may not always respond to reblogs/replies, but my ask box is open.) this blog is informal, i’m not an academic or journalist, and i'm not immune to making mistakes on my posts (though i'll correct myself if i notice) - i'm just someone who likes to learn. feel free to ask any questions you may have too, but again, i'm not a professional.

you can find this blog's tag directory here. icon source here.

[uwusillygirl]

(Sry in advance if this is annoying bc she’s not the main characters in fof) but I’m soooooo curious about your thoughts on Robin in this verse. Obviously she and Steve are still best friends, but I love her jokey dynamic w Eddie and how nice she is to Chrissy. Also I can’t get over the scene where robin calls Eddie “such a lucky fucking bastard.” It lives rent free in my head because same robin me too. And Chrissy being confused by it is hilarious. This was all just a long winded rambling way of asking if you think Chrissy and Eddie ever find out Robin’s lesbian? I’m sure they’d know if this was a modern au or something but considering it’s the 80s and even though Chrissy and Eddie are weirdos/freaks I’m sure (maybe I’m projecting) that robin would still have a healthy dose of fear

you are all WAY too considerate!!! i get to sit around writing like the most in-depth, ridiculous, self-indulgent little fic and people like actually come talk to me about it!!! i'll answer whatever questions u want!!! and these ones are always so interesting!!!

okay so i'm gonna give my answer and then also give u a little nibble of a wip (which may never see the light of day the way i write, so sorry if anyone gets super gassed up over it) where i wrote about this concept bc i've actually been thinking about it too!!

short answer though is that robin is definitely extremely skittish about telling anyone, including them. i do think it comes out eventually after spending enough time together, though! she's more trusting of chrissy than eddie simply because she gets rose-colored glasses with girls/women who are nice to her, but in reality eddie is way less startled by it than chrissy.

okay and here's a little tiny wip bite:

Chrissy wasn’t sure how their conversation had devolved into something so base. It had started because Robin had mentioned that she had hooked up with this girl recently, and Steve had been surprised because he had also hooked up with her back in high school. 

(Chrissy had learned recently that Robin liked girls. As in dated them, liked them. Chrissy was fine with it — as if she had any right to judge on anything like that — and had actually been quite flattered that Robin entrusted her and Eddie with that kind of information. But the whole thing did short-circuit Chrissy’s brain a little. She’d just never met someone who felt that way. 

“What if I say something wrong to her?” Chrissy had fretted one night in bed shortly after Robin had let it slip. 

Eddie had just laughed. He always spoke to Chrissy gently about this kind of thing. He understood that while he’d been off living some vibrant, punk rock life that allowed for him to not be totally flipped by stuff like meeting someone who was gay or having a girlfriend that occasionally needed to be made to cry in bed, Chrissy had been trapped in an extremely sheltered childhood, born and raised by Reagan conservatives. 

“What could you possibly say wrong?” Eddie comforted her. “She doesn’t have a disease we have to be nice about, Chris. She’s just gay.”

Chrissy, wasn’t sure, felt like she somehow would find a way to step in it. 

“Right, but, like, can you believe we know a gay person? In Hawkins?” Chrissy followed up. 

“Yeah, sweetie, I can,” Eddie had murmured, voice growing sleepy. “It’s not like she’s the only one.”

“You know other ones?” 

Eddie laughed again, this time hard enough to shake the mattress underneath them. 

“Okay, baby, let’s not use terms like ‘other ones’,” he corrected gently after he composed himself. “You’re talking like Nancy Reagan over there.” 

Chrissy had slapped a hand over her mouth. “Sorry. I didn’t even notice.” 

“But to answer your question, no, not that have personally come out to me. But I imagine there’s more than one gay person in a town of a couple thousand.”

It sounded so obvious when he said it.)

All that to say Robin and Steve’s shared sexual conquest had triggered an attempt to create some sort of figurative sexual Venn Diagram of who they had all (well, everyone but Chrissy, who was just picking at the label on her wine cooler) had sex with that overlapped.

[messedupfan]

How do you get your books/ stories to feel so real? I’m starting to write but I feel as if comes off bland or feels like a beginner is writing it.

Hey anon,

That's a huge compliment, thank you 🥹

I took some time to consider my answer because I still feel like my stuff is bland or bad. But I sometimes have to remind myself not to be hard on myself. And you shouldn't be hard on yourself either. If you are a beginner, it's okay to be a beginner. We're not born knowing how to do everything.

Some of the things that help me write are:

Write everyday: even with writers block, just have a document to type random sentences or writing about your day or anything that comes to mind. It's still writing. Even write in a notebook if you can. Sometimes pen/pencil to paper can help break through writers block.

Edit your stories: when you feel like you've come to a good stopping point, reread everything you've written. Reading out loud can be helpful as well. But look for errors in spelling and grammar. (Sometimes you can even get inspired to add something to the story or chapter.)

Write what you know: when you're writing, don't write about anything you're not confident in at the beginning. Do as much research as you can. When you don't know, it comes out in your writing and can be confusing for readers. Or you'll have someone that does know about how wrong you could be and they'll correct you.

Talk and Listen: I'm very antisocial myself but you'd be surprised how much storytelling you can learn from just talking with people. Whether I'm at work or volunteering or at a networking event, people love to talk about themselves and they love when someone is listening. It's helpful for when you have an idea for something that doesn't feel realistic. Because sometimes an absurd scenario that you come up with feels like someone might say "that's not realistic"

Read and Study: You can learn a lot about writing from reading other people's stories. And there's one book that helped me a lot when I was starting. It's called Writing Down The Bones: Freeing the Writer Within by Natalie Goldberg. That book is possibly the best birthday present I've ever gotten because without it, I wouldn't have started posting my stories.

Let people read your work: I know it can be scary to share your work but letting trusted people read your work is so helpful. Getting any feedback can help you improve. But you have to be open to constructive criticism (it's hard, I'm always fighting the urge to defend my writing but it's very helpful to hear from other people about what works and what doesn't work.)

The Bird Scene: That being said, should you feel strongly about keeping something in because it makes sense to you or that you feel confident about your story because of the work you put into it, consider it your "Bird Scene." Which is a reference from the show Victorious. If you haven't seen it, it's a lesson that they teach the main character when she is asked to perform a scene. She does okay the first time. But fails. Then she does better the second time. Still fails. She went all out the third time and failed again because she asked the class how she did. That's when she defended her work because she didn't care what they thought, she cared about the work she knew that she put into it and she was proud of herself. So, be proud of your work when you know how much work it takes to write. Don't let anyone discourage you from writing. And don't write for people, write for yourself.

Plan: Try to plan out as much of the story as you can. It will help you a lot in the long run. It doesn't have to be too detailed and can be flexible but still know your direction of the beginning, middle, and end. Because if you don't know where your story is going, neither will anyone else.

That's all I could think of off the top of my head. I hope you find any of this helpful! I hope you gain more confidence in your writing and I hope to read something of yours one day 🫶

Have a wonderful day!