#as a teen I shared one password with a ‘friend’ and a few years later when we split apart he used it to get me banned
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lovdrop · 4 months ago
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VRC password sharing to do “uploads” is NOT SAFE!! It is never safe to share a password!
While they have access to the password they can:
Log into your account on browser and edit your username, bio, friends, groups, access your VRC+ info, change your password and email, etc
Have access to your upload options via their Unity and browser
And even if you change that password later it may not log them out of Unity, in Unity they:
Can upload the avatar you agreed upon to receive, but also;
Could upload other things or change the agreed upon avatar
Have access to view your other uploaded avatars and delete them
Have access to the unique codes for the other uploaded avatars, and can use that to replace them with different avatars
None of that is safe!!
I saw a kid recently get their VRC account stolen because of doing password sharing for an “upload.” Just because a lot of people do it doesn’t make it smart or safe. Don’t trust strangers!
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rc-catalog · 1 month ago
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At long last, we finally commence the Creator of the Month event! Without further ado, we present to you a short interview with @webanglikethat, March COTM winner, from which you can get to know her better. Congratulations JB!
Enjoy!
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INTRODUCE YOURSELF
hi everyone!! I’m really exicited to be the first creator to be represented 🥺 you may call me JB and I’m 19 years old! I go by she/him pronouns and I’m a desi italian 🫶🏽
WHEN DID YOU JOIN ROMANCE CLUB?
2022-11-04, which I could’ve never guessed! I thought I’d started playing mid 2023. according to my gallery, my first stories were chasing you and heaven’s secret! the fandom I joined way later, and that’s how I never understood why sometimes my choices were ‘free’ aka Diamond Rush – I thought I bypassed something 😭 seeing the reddit fandom explained a lot haha ! 
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN CREATING?
for the RC fandom specifically, I started creating in May 2024 when I made a Ram edit! before that, I was mostly posting about RC on my Instagram stories and editing them, sharing my thoughts, and occasionally ranting about the characters. I actually had another Tumblr account before this one, but it was focused on different fandoms. at some point, I stumbled across the RC Tumblr community, and at first, I just lurked, reading posts and getting a feel for the fandom. I loved seeing everyone’s discussions, edits, and writing, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to jump in just yet. eventually, though, I decided I wanted to be part of it, so I made this account for two reasons: first, to fully immerse myself back into Tumblr (aka I forgot the password to the OG account lmao / but I did remember it!), and second, to actually engage with the RC fandom rather than just observing from the sidelines.
in general, probably since I was 11-12 for the kpop fandom, which I’m still actively doing !! my passion for creating just keeps evolving and it’s crazy how the things I started with have led me to where I am now !! I’m always pushing myself to try new things and level up my skills and the way I express myself has definitely evolved over the years. I started off with small edits, and random posts, and over time, I got more confident in sharing my work. I’ve written a bunch of poems, edited a lot of stories/videos and I’ve picked up moodboards and graphic design again! the RC fandom has been such a fun and welcoming space, and I love being able to contribute to it (✿◠‿◠)
DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST EVER CREATION?
for the rc fandom? it was a ram video edit (insert link) but if we are saying in general, it was probably one of those kpop profile pictures with heart crowns lmao! I was 11 or 12, experimenting with filters and thinking I was so cool — looking back at it now, it’s cringy, but it was the start of everything. and who says cringe can’t be good? normalize being cringe !! normalize growth !! those little edits sparked something that I’ve carried with me ever since! after that, I started making moodboard edits for kpop artists and umh, here I shall expose myself just for you guys lmaoo. these are the first few “'edits”’ I found from my archived posts (no, I never finished teen wolf …) (yes, I still make seunghyun content).
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CHOOSE 3-5 OF YOUR FAVOURITE WORKS AND RAMBLE AWAY!
there’s a lot of creations that I’m thinking of! one of the hardest was probably the two part web weave I made of cainlane for a friend at the time, but it’s definitely not my fave
my jayniecarter web weave is a really important creation for me. I don’t remember exactly when I got the idea, but even within the first five episodes of 7B, Jaynie’s storyline hit me hard; her role as the oldest and only daughter that everyone relied on and how everyone just expected her to push away all of her plans to be there to fix the problems caused by everyone else. there was something so raw and so real about her struggles and the way she carried so much weight on her shoulders, often without acknowledgment that it made me really pause. it was supposed to be a funny little story but it turned into so much more. I found myself deeply relating to her — her imposter syndrome, her sense of responsibility, and that feeling of being stretched too thin while trying to be everything for everyone. some chapters were genuinely difficult to read because they felt so personal, almost like I was looking into a mirror. at first, I wasn’t sure how to process those feelings. it’s one thing to read something that resonates with you, but another to actually put those emotions into words. that’s when I started thinking about the best way to express it, and I landed on making a web weave. I’ve always loved the way web weaves allow for layered storytelling — how they can bring together different pieces of media, emotions, and themes into something cohesive. it felt like the perfect medium to explore Jaynie’s journey, not just as a character, but as an experience that so many people can relate to. I started by gathering all my screenshots — Carter scenes, moments where Jaynie’s imposter syndrome was on full display, her struggling with the expectations placed on her, and the way she felt like her first year of college wasn’t turning out the way it was “supposed” to and that the experience had been robbed from her. from there, I began thinking about songs and other pieces of media that resonated with those emotions. I wanted to find lyrics that captured that overwhelming pressure of being the person others depend on, that deep-rooted insecurity of feeling like you’re never quite doing enough, even when you are. the process was honestly a mix of research and instinct—some songs immediately came to mind because they just fit, while others took time to find. I also pulled quotes from books, movies, and shows that carried similar themes of responsibility, burnout, and the complicated emotions that come with being an eldest daughter. one of the best song to describe Jaynie and Carter imo is ESOEMOEHOED by Leanna Firestone, so that was the first thing I did, along with 'this is me trying’ by Taylor Swift. some of the photos included are actually taken by me! there is a quote by a book I really like, 'Final Offer’ that made it into the final draft “You always deserved better than me.” / “No. I deserved better from you.” aside from the angst, I also wanted to portray the amazing love a sister has for her brother, so I looked through my pinterest board and found comments people, mostly sisters, left on how they loved their siblings, how they felt like they didn’t exist until they arrived. while Jaynie and Carter’s journey is undoubtedly hard and complex, that doesn’t erase the love, and that was something I wanted to make sure wasn’t lost. one little detail I really liked was, when choosing Hansel and Gretel photos, they were always holding hands! and isn’t that siblinghood? holding hands through all of the shit the world puts you through? the certainty of that warm hold? honestly, putting the web weave together was both fun and unexpectedly emotional. it was therapeutic in a way I didn’t expect and I’m glad it also resonated with the ones who saw it!
My Nova and religious guilty web weave: this one was something I planned almost from the start! I started playing wt:c for my friend andy’s birthday so she could finally talk to me about it. the obvious religious guilt / religious trauma topic stood out to me and I began gathering screenshots as I played. as a girlie who can relate to those kinds of feeling, I was sooo excited to edit this !! from the start, I knew I wanted to turn this into a web weave. I started reading articles, researching people’s thoughts on reddit / quora / any website of that sort, trying to gather their feelings. one of the best sources was an article that began with
'Let me ask you this — have you ever felt like faith was supposed to be a comfort, but instead, it turned into a burden?’,
written by Gary L Ellis. I read that and thought, damn I struck the goldmine! I’m heading in the right direction! honestly, this one was easier to edit because I already had a lot of photos of this topic saved from my previous luke castellan web weaves and some genshin screenshots (the wanderer’s iconic line of 'the first to betray me was a god, my creator … my mother’). it was also easier because I had been gathering screenshots as I played instead of thinking about it later. that saved a lot of time. another line that really fit perfectly was
“I was raised Catholic,” he began. “But you’re not now?” the judge asked, frowning. “No,” he said. He had worked for years to keep the apology out of his voice when he said this.”
and that made me even more excited because everything was fitting together so well !! another obvious source was going to be, 'Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve’ by Taylor Swift, a song about grooming and religious guilt which ugh, Nova would SOOO relate to. overall, I believe this took me less than a week to edit! maybe 3-4 days? I was so excited that I stayed up late editing, and I’m honestly really proud of it. I’d love to make a part two in the future!
my jaynie-ray web weave: it’s been a long time coming – is how I would describe this one. I made it for the catalog’s 14 days of love event and I knew I wanted to choose these two for the platonic prompt. their relationship is so important to me 🥺 their bond is not just a promise of 'I’ll be there’, it’s a certainty. it’s something so much deeper, that it’s impossible to unravel. my main source for this one was my favourite book, 'Happy Place’ by none other than my mother Emily Henry! if you like crying and found family, give it a read ( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧ what really stuck with me, while reading about Ray, was the way Ray’s story doesn’t just expose the pain of being kicked out but also highlights the power of acceptance!! I can’t even begin to explain how much that meant to me. so many stories about queer trauma focus solely on the suffering, and while that’s important, 7B goes beyond that. it doesn’t just show the pain of rejection but it shows the love that comes after. the way Ray finds a new family, a new support system, people who actually love and accept them, is so important. because yes, being rejected by your family is devastating. but what makes it bearable is finding the people who choose you. I wanted to make their relationship justice and hopefully I did <3 I once again used photos I took myself (the quote from the seven husbands of evelyn hugo) and honestly, this one was so easy because I can relate to their friendship as I’ve found it in my best friend Kelly, and I already have like hundreds of photos/quotes/media pieces saved on friendship and found family! honestly teared up a few times making this.
my audrey-deviya web weave: I could not answer this interview without mentioning my wife deviya, could I? this one is recent, so you’d think I remember how or why I made this but honestly, my memory is really bad! I think I screenshotted a few things while playing the old abh update and I was like, wait, that’s sacrificial lamb coded! and who is THE original one? deviya. I knew in that moment I wanted to connect their journeys, to depict their roles as both a weapon and a shield, as a human but also a tool. there were many similarities. – one of the most painful ones was I noticed how both of them die/almost die feeling like they hadn’t lived enough. there’s this lingering sense of unfinishedness, this deep grief over the life they weren’t allowed to have. it’s heartbreaking. their stories reinforce the idea that their blood is almost worth more than their existence, that they need to bleed in order to be important. this was a little harder to edit because I had to go through abh walkthroughs on youtube because I had never screenshotted her dialogues from this point of view! my friend vee was kind enough to send me a few screenshots she had, which saved me so much time !! and they were SO helpful too, I could build a whole edit out of them alone. aside from gathering screenshots, I had no issues because sacrificial lamb is part of yet another pinterest board I have. I hope I did Audrey justice! I’m not an ABH girlie, my focus is on KFS, so hopefully I got her character well !!
now that I mentioned sacrifice and blood, I HAVE to talk about Amala. so I have two versions of my Amala web weave; purple and red. this one I made because I was joking in a discord server about how I was going to make a web weave if my friend Mira (@a-cloud-for-dreams) wasn’t gonna stop sending sad Amala screenshots. we were all joking around until I was like, well … eldest daughter angst? and every other desi girlie in the discord server was like WELL YES ! so I immediately started editing cause when you get a bunch of girls asking you to do something, you do it (follow for more life advices).
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I felt a lot of pressure making this one because it had been a while since I played KCD and I had never closely looked at Amala’s character. Mira was able to give me 99% of the screenshots included in my post and, while I struggled with Amala’s character, I didn’t struggle with her characterization – does that make sense? she’s the eldest daughter who takes care of everyone, who puts her own needs aside and is struggling between her indian and english side (something that sooo many immigrant children, me included, can relate to). from there, it was easy to gather photos because again, I have a bunch of pinterest boards on topic of being the older sister, the third parent and the immigrant guilt! I had the most fun editing the last photo !!!
I’m very shy about my writing so I purposefully decided to highlight my webweaves 😭 but here are some of my fanfictions: -> if you wanted avery to be a love interest, I got a fic for you ( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧ The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury is one of my proudest works. it was hard to get Avery’s voice right because he has very little screentime (I screenshotted every scene in which he spoke) and at some point I gave up, so if you find it OOC just close your eyes lmaoo. -> did you want Vyxaria to talk to Walter about Xantheia? do you cry to peace by taylor swift? don’t look further then! Lonely winter, cradle my heart explores angsty Vyxaria -> do you instead want to break your heart by having unrequited!Walter and brokenhearted!Vyxaria x Xantheia? Thalassophile, do you remember our crestfallen hearts? awaits you ! for more, look at my masterlist!
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theoriginalmarke · 4 months ago
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FIRST JOBS
@itsbadno made a post about his early jobs and it got me thinking about mine. Let's see...
As a wee lad I went door to door selling Grit newspapers. I know you kids aren't familiar with newspapers these days, especially a weekly national paper delivered by a kid.
I shoveled snow out of driveways for a few extra bucks as a preteen in PA. We moved to Florida then and I helped out a friend with his lawn service and I enjoyed that.
As a teen I got a job with a national drug store chain as a cashier/stocker/whatever. I began working several stores in the area filling in once I developed a reputation for versatility and reliability.
My senior year of high school I moved on to The Kapok Tree Inn. There were several locations around Florida and I believe one up north. Ours had five dining rooms, gardens, a lake with a houseboat that you could rent for your honeymoon, a gift shop, and more. Scarface filmed something at that location.
Off hours, the staff was a bit on the wild side. As an impressionable young teenager it was awesome. They offered me a management position if I stayed, but college was waiting for me. They ended up closing six years later, so I made the right choice. The property is now a preserve.
While in college I worked in the campus game room where I hung "Out of Order" signs, drank beer, and played billiards. Off hours, the students were a bit on the wild side. As an impressionable young...
Anyway. First real job was with McCrory's, once known as the five and dime. With them I moved up the ranks, from a clerk to Assistant Manager to traveling around the south remodeling stores to Manager to "Assistant to the Regional Manager" of a spinoff chain. I wasn't really "Assistant to the Regional Manager," I borrowed that title from The Office. But I was the store manager where the regional office was located, which left me as the de facto backup, secretary, and assistant.
I saw the writing on the wall and left before they closed too. I miss the money but I don't miss the stress of retail management. Too many of my friends began getting heart attacks in their 30s, a good sign that it was time to move on.
Maybe one day I'll share my life from there, along with the name of the street my family home was on, passwords, and mother's maiden name.
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destieltropecollection · 4 years ago
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Destiel Trope Collection 2021 | Day 24: Domestic
16 fics under the cut
Kisses And Breakfast | @vampamber
Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,141 Main Tags/Warnings: married Destiel, implied sexual content, fluff Summary: Just another morning in the Winchester-Novak household. Dean trying to be a sweetie by making breakfast for his husband, and Castiel not liking the fact that he decided to do it so damn early in the morning. But it was such a cute gesture, plus there was bacon, so Castiel eventually forgives Dean. Because, you know, bacon. But also because he loves his husband.
Leeches | @mattzerella-sticks
Rating: General Word Count: 1,208 Main Tags/Warnings: Bunker fic, Netflix passwords, Flustered Dean Winchester, Embarassed Dean Winchester Summary: Sharing a Netflix makes sense, in hindsight. Dean gets it. But that doesn’t mean he appreciates seeing a bunch of profiles after his that weren’t there last he checked. He’s gonna get to the bottom of this - of when this happened, why, and how they were able to guess his password.
Lady And The Tramp | @vampamber
Rating: General Word Count: 1,501 Main Tags/Warnings: drunk Dean, annoyed Cas, established relationship, Disney references Summary: Castiel loves his boyfriend Dean, even when he’s being an adorable drunken idiot. So when drunk Dean starts talking about the kiss scene with the spaghetti from Lady And The Tramp, what else is there for him to do but go out and buy spaghetti noodles?
Angel Dreams | @envydean
Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2,033 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Domestic Dean, Dean’s Birthday, Pie AND Cake, character injury, Pining Summary: When Dean ends up unconscious after a hunt, Castiel finds his way into Dean’s dreams only to find a domestic bliss that they both want and need.
The shirt in the dispute (and other laundry feuds) | @chaoticdean
Rating: General Word Count: 2,099 Main Tags/Warnings: Domestic Fluff, Domestic Disputes, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Misunderstandings Summary: It all starts off with a sordid affair of mixed laundry, and somehow it’s World War III in the Men of Letter’s bunker (or the one where Castiel mess a batch of laundry up, and Dean’s Led Zeppelin shirt bites the dust)
Happy Plant Parents | @fpwoper
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2,666 Main Tags/Warnings: Marijuana, Sex Pollen, (Mutual) Masturbation, Dean and Cas are Neighbours Summary: Dean and Cas share a hallway between their apartments, and it tends to smell like weed. Cas promises to bring in plants to help filter the air, and Dean asks Cas to come over for dinner to discuss a schedule to co-parent all the plants decorating their hallway.
Summer Days | @gii-heylittleangel
Rating: General Word Count: 2,788 Main Tags/Warnings: Summer Vacation, Gen, Team Free Will, Beach Summary: Finally having some time off, Dean decides they need to take some real, nice, summer vacation.
Feline | @castielscarma
Rating: General Word Count: 3,597 Main Tags/Warnings: Light angst, love confessions Summary: Cas finds a stray outside the Bunker and decides to bring it home. Little does he know that the cat will come to be instrumental in bringing him closer to Dean.
Bittersweet | @wynterfiel
Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 6,000 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Accountant!Castiel, Gardener!Dean, Kid Fic, Baby Jack Kline, Parenthood, Meet-Cute, Fluff, Light Angst, Domestic Dean/Castiel Summary: A successful work transfer later and Castiel finds himself away from stuffy New York with his baby nephew, Jack. Christmas wasn’t a priority until Castiel realised it would be Jack’s first and maybe he should put in the effort. This endeavour leads him straight to Winchester Nursery and Flower Shop.
we’ll find a new home | @holyfirecircle
Rating: General Word Count: 7,860 Main Tags/Warnings: Love confessions, pining, cooking as a love language, Human!Cas, finale never happened, Summary: After Cas comes home, Dean starts cooking like crazy. He thinks he might be compensating for something.
Home | @peanutbutterjelly-pie
Rating: General Word Count: 10,039 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Domestic Summary: There are apocalypses and monsters and nightmares. But between all of this Dean and Castiel are just trying to manage their lives together. And that turns out to become surprisingly domestic.
stop the world from turning | iCeDreams (AO3)
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10,690 Main Tags/Warnings: COVID-19 related, canon, top!Cas/bottom!Dean, Bunker fic Summary: Castiel’s long existence is defined by blocks of time he’s carved out for himself. As an angel, he was part of the Host, but never quite one of them. Now, in the bunker with the Winchesters and Jack, it’s time to fill the empty spaces the Host left with the family he’s chosen. – OR… a look at what Castiel does for 24 hours with stay-at-home orders in the Men of Letters Bunker.
Welcome to Pine Shores! | @andimeantittosting
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 20,901 Main Tags/Warnings: Future Fic, Human Cas, Mutual Pining, Middle-aged Dean and Cas, top!dean/bottom!cas Summary: Thirteen years ago, Dean, with Cas by his side, bought the run-down Pine Shores Motel, and made it into a home and a stopping place for hunters. In those thirteen years, he has never been able to bring himself to admit his feelings to Cas—after all, why rock the boat? But, Dean realizes, doesn’t Cas deserve more than just growing old in a shabby motel with Dean? Surely, as a good friend, it’s Dean’s job to encourage Cas to get out there and live his dreams.
late july | @thanks-tacos
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 26,669 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha Castiel (Supernatural),Top Castiel, Omega Dean, Bottom Dean,Hurt/Comfort,Mute Dean Winchester,Bookstore Owner Castiel,Past Abuse,Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con,Happy Ending,Slow Burn Summary: ‘I would like to take in your most abused one,’ Castiel says, looking at the rows of doors in the yellow corridor. 'Give him a good home.’ After his accident, Castiel needs someone to help him around the small brick house he lives in and the bookstore he owns. So, he adopts Dean; an omega who barely survived being dumped in a ditch and left for dead. Dean doesn’t talk, but that’s fine; they learn to live together in the quaint, rainy city surrounded by a green forest. Castiel just wants to give Dean a peaceful life he deserves, and maybe also - become his mate?
Prayer in G | ValandraEvans (AO3)
Rating: Mature Word Count: 102,870 Main Tags/Warnings: AU - All Human, Top!Castiel, Bottom!Dean, Happy Ending, Openly BiSexual Dean, Conversion Therapy Trauma Summary: Castiel Novak just finished his third year of Seminary School and is about to undertake his fieldwork assignment in Sioux Falls, SD. He’s been assigned to assist Reverent Michael at the evangelical Church of Divine Light in the community outreach program. Dean Winchester lives on the outskirts of Sioux Falls in a log cabin he built himself. He hunts and fishes and other than the occasional trip into town for supplies or visit from his best friend Charlie or brother Sam is happy with his reclusive life. When Castiel shows up at Dean’s door, bags in tow, this wasn’t exactly the favor he thought he was doing for Sherif Jody Mills when she asked if he was up for taking in a border for a few months. Now he was stuck with the nerdy wanna-be minister with eyes so blue, Dean swears he can see heaven in them.
Life is like a Hallmark movie (WIP) | @hallmarkdestiel,
Rating: General Word Count: 124,626 Main Tags/Warnings: Slow burn Firefighter Dean Doctor Castiel PTSD Summary: Castiel Novak is a big city Doctor. Dean Winchester is a small town farmer. The Family farm is being threatened by the Bank. At first, Dean and Castiel hate each other but Can true love save the day in time for Christmas in Cottonwood Falls, Kansas?
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fyexo · 4 years ago
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201203 The Powerful, Limitless Kai
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EXO member Kai unpacks his solo debut, artistry, and how he learned to express himself.
“I wanted to show that Kai is limitless,” 26-year-old Kim Jongin, better known by his stage name Kai, tells Teen Vogue of his newly-released debut self-titled album. The word is multifaceted, conjuring up an unfettered existence or an endless void, as terrifying as it is appealing.
Kai leans toward the latter. His voice — soft, restrained, thoughtful, and at times giddy during our interview — is an anchor in that wide open space. He’s quite excited about the idea of limitlessness, of existing on more than one plane, of proving you’re more than one thing.
Kai, out November 30, is just the first step.
“Over the years I've been in the industry, many people have seen me as a member of EXO. I have performed in front of our EXO fans and SuperM fans. This is the first time I'm actually releasing something under my own name,” he says. “I want to show people who Kai is through this album. The name Kai means ‘to open’. So, I want it to be open and show a new side of me.”
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The year was 2012 when EXO debuted with an intensely mythological, high-concept origin story. Shortly after the heart of the Tree of Life dried up due to the red forces’ incessant attacks, Kai descended to Earth — along with the rest of the members of EXO — as part of the legends that “see the same sky but shall stand on different grounds, shall stand on the same ground but shall see different skies.” (A parallel to EXO’s original split into two groups, one focused on China’s pop market, the other on Korea’s.) Each member has his own superpower, and Kai’s is teleportation, although he doesn’t always know what to do with it. During the music video for “Lucky One," the rest of EXO use their powers to fend off villains, but Kai breaks out into dance. (Though if you’ve seen Kai dance, you’ll know that’s as much a superpower as anything.)
That may be Kai’s beginning, but he was brought to life by Kim Jongin, the youngest of three siblings, who grew up in Suncheon, South Korea, with an early interest in ballet and jazz dance. Taking on the persona of Kai at 17 years old, he began to set the framework for what he’d soon become known for: a fluid, captivating dance style infused with seemingly endless confidence, smirking through concept changes with ease. As EXO’s popularity hit the stratosphere shortly after their single “Growl” — with performances on world stages like the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics, the multi-million selling 9-member group remains one of the most revered acts in modern-day K-pop — so did Kai’s reputation as one of the most enigmatic performers in Korean idol music.
Duality is one of K-pop’s favorite concepts, and the endearing dichotomy between Kai and Jongin is a perfect example of where the person and the artist diverge. On stage, Kai paints a mysterious picture, flitting from lithe self-possession to seductive swagger, to borderline arrogance. Off stage, however, Jongin is uncharacteristically shy: he blushes when complimented by his group members, often forgets his own passwords (and asks friends to help out), and is obsessed with his niece and nephew.
While every gaze, every spin, every step with Kai is intentional, Kim Jongin is as free of the bounds of pretense as it gets. It could be as easy as turning a switch on or off, but that would be doing Kai’s ethos a disservice. It’s subliminal. “Kai is me in my dream state,” he says. “When I'm sleeping, it's like my dream character comes alive, and that would be Kai. I’m more of a normal, down-to-earth person. That's just me, but Kai is this persona that's on stage… I do notice that when I'm dancing and pulling off all these different concepts, [I’m] like a totally different person outside of myself doing that.”
And if EXO member Kai is one type of persona, solo performer Kai is another. He previewed Kai with a short film song-sampler, in which he “teleports” through a cinematic thoroughfare of concepts, each one diving deeper. In “Hello Stranger,” his voice is the lighthouse in the storm of the bustling city, asking to talk about the things that overwhelm you. “Reason” is a modern-day fairytale, with Kai as the quirky, attention-grabbing prince in a sea of droning conversations and pretentious debutantes. Hold his hand, turn the corner, and you meet Bad Boy Kai in “Amnesia,” sheathed in leather and a mullet (a hairstyle that continues to be one of the greatest things ever to happen to K-pop) and leaning into noble sacrifice: “Forget me before I know you,” he says. How can you?
We pass through scores of mirrors, each with a different version of Kai as he croons, “Don’t think about anything else.” He holds this attention until the mirrors open into a vast landscape. Now, he is the one looking at a mirror of his own — clad in lace and soft whites and vocalizing his desires openly, “Nothing On Me” is his version of suave vulnerability. The story ends on “Ride Or Die,” a throwback to yesteryears with its heavy, sensual synths and noir setup. It’s a full circle moment; this Kai is the same one we get a glimpse of within the first few seconds of the film, as a hologram. All this while, the mirrors that pull us through the songs have been windows, a journey through the hallways of Kai’s mind, ending in the confident reassurance that he will “ride or die” with us, till the end.
“[I wanted to show] that I can do anything and that anything is possible,” he says. “It’s the connection between teleportation and the limitless possibilities that I have as an artist, as Kai. I wanted to showcase that all of these different sides are Kai, are myself.” And he learned a lot about himself in the process of making the album. “To be honest, I was pretty stressed preparing for all of this on my own, but I think I learned a lot about myself throughout this process. Not just myself as an artist, but [also] a lot about myself as a person: my personality, how I deal with stress, and just... what I’m like as a human being.”
Teleportation is an apt comparison for Kai’s continued interest in embracing other art forms and expanding his artistic lexicon. If that comes with playing with the constraints of conventional style, fashion, and masculinity, then so be it. Like his artistry, his sartorial expression is boundless: whether it’s the slew of crop tops worn to highlight the chorus in “Don’t Mess Up My Tempo”, which gave us one of the most memorable fan-cams of 2018; to the shirtless red suit for “Love Shot” that, frankly, deserves its own museum; to the soft yet dangerous combination of flaming red and lace he’s sporting in the highlight medley for Kai. Every outfit is the period at the end of his words, mapping out his own zeitgeist.
“As my career progressed, fashion itself became a way to express myself on stage and the being that I am,” he says. “It's not just about expressing the song or the concept itself. I think it’s really important for me to try new things and have people notice what I've been trying. I actually want people to look back on the styles that I've tried as an example for them to reference later on. Fashion has become a really important thing for me to develop myself.”
At the heart of these many concepts, of both his Kai persona and his life as Jongin, is movement. Kim Jongin and Kai share a fundamental receptiveness to the world, and of course, a singular, synchronous rhythm that has become the bedrock of his artistry, whether as part of EXO or out on his own.
“When I was younger and I first started dancing, I think I just simply loved dancing itself. I was immersed in the art of dancing,” he says. “I loved doing it, but I think as I've progressed as a performer, as my career has grown, dancing has not only become something I love to do, but it's also become a tool [to] express myself on stage and to audiences. Dancing has been part of more than half of my life now. It’s like a friend that I can't live without.”
source: Tanu I. Raj @ Teen Vogue
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dailyexo · 4 years ago
Text
[INTERVIEW] Kai - 201203 Teen Vogue: “The Powerful, Limitless Kai”
"EXO member Kai unpacks his solo debut, artistry, and how he learned to express himself.
“I wanted to show that Kai is limitless,” 26-year-old Kim Jongin, better known by his stage name Kai, tells Teen Vogue of his newly-released debut self-titled album. The word is multifaceted, conjuring up an unfettered existence or an endless void, as terrifying as it is appealing.
Kai leans toward the latter. His voice — soft, restrained, thoughtful, and at times giddy during our interview — is an anchor in that wide open space. He’s quite excited about the idea of limitlessness, of existing on more than one plane, of proving you’re more than one thing.
Kai, out November 30, is just the first step.
“Over the years I've been in the industry, many people have seen me as a member of EXO. I have performed in front of our EXO fans and SuperM fans. This is the first time I'm actually releasing something under my own name,” he says. “I want to show people who Kai is through this album. The name Kai means ‘to open’. So, I want it to be open and show a new side of me.”
The year was 2012 when EXO debuted with an intensely mythological, high-concept origin story. Shortly after the heart of the Tree of Life dried up due to the red forces’ incessant attacks, Kai descended to Earth — along with the rest of the members of EXO — as part of the legends that “see the same sky but shall stand on different grounds, shall stand on the same ground but shall see different skies.” (A parallel to EXO’s original split into two groups, one focused on China’s pop market, the other on Korea’s.) Each member has his own superpower, and Kai’s is teleportation, although he doesn’t always know what to do with it. During the music video for “Lucky One," the rest of EXO use their powers to fend off villains, but Kai breaks out into dance. (Though if you’ve seen Kai dance, you’ll know that’s as much a superpower as anything.)
That may be Kai’s beginning, but he was brought to life by Kim Jongin, the youngest of three siblings, who grew up in Suncheon, South Korea, with an early interest in ballet and jazz dance. Taking on the persona of Kai at 17 years old, he began to set the framework for what he’d soon become known for: a fluid, captivating dance style infused with seemingly endless confidence, smirking through concept changes with ease. As EXO’s popularity hit the stratosphere shortly after their single “Growl” — with performances on world stages like the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics, the multi-million selling 9-member group remains one of the most revered acts in modern-day K-pop — so did Kai’s reputation as one of the most enigmatic performers in Korean idol music.
Duality is one of K-pop’s favorite concepts, and the endearing dichotomy between Kai and Jongin is a perfect example of where the person and the artist diverge. On stage, Kai paints a mysterious picture, flitting from lithe self-possession to seductive swagger, to borderline arrogance. Off stage, however, Jongin is uncharacteristically shy: he blushes when complimented by his group members, often forgets his own passwords (and asks friends to help out), and is obsessed with his niece and nephew.
While every gaze, every spin, every step with Kai is intentional, Kim Jongin is as free of the bounds of pretense as it gets. It could be as easy as turning a switch on or off, but that would be doing Kai’s ethos a disservice. It’s subliminal. “Kai is me in my dream state,” he says. “When I'm sleeping, it's like my dream character comes alive, and that would be Kai. I’m more of a normal, down-to-earth person. That's just me, but Kai is this persona that's on stage… I do notice that when I'm dancing and pulling off all these different concepts, [I’m] like a totally different person outside of myself doing that.”
And if EXO member Kai is one type of persona, solo performer Kai is another. He previewed Kai with a short film song-sampler, in which he “teleports” through a cinematic thoroughfare of concepts, each one diving deeper. In “Hello Stranger,” his voice is the lighthouse in the storm of the bustling city, asking to talk about the things that overwhelm you. “Reason” is a modern-day fairytale, with Kai as the quirky, attention-grabbing prince in a sea of droning conversations and pretentious debutantes. Hold his hand, turn the corner, and you meet Bad Boy Kai in “Amnesia,” sheathed in leather and a mullet (a hairstyle that continues to be one of the greatest things ever to happen to K-pop) and leaning into noble sacrifice: “Forget me before I know you,” he says. How can you?
We pass through scores of mirrors, each with a different version of Kai as he croons, “Don’t think about anything else.” He holds this attention until the mirrors open into a vast landscape. Now, he is the one looking at a mirror of his own — clad in lace and soft whites and vocalizing his desires openly, “Nothing On Me” is his version of suave vulnerability. The story ends on “Ride Or Die,” a throwback to yesteryears with its heavy, sensual synths and noir setup. It’s a full circle moment; this Kai is the same one we get a glimpse of within the first few seconds of the film, as a hologram. All this while, the mirrors that pull us through the songs have been windows, a journey through the hallways of Kai’s mind, ending in the confident reassurance that he will “ride or die” with us, till the end.
“[I wanted to show] that I can do anything and that anything is possible,” he says. “It’s the connection between teleportation and the limitless possibilities that I have as an artist, as Kai. I wanted to showcase that all of these different sides are Kai, are myself.” And he learned a lot about himself in the process of making the album. “To be honest, I was pretty stressed preparing for all of this on my own, but I think I learned a lot about myself throughout this process. Not just myself as an artist, but [also] a lot about myself as a person: my personality, how I deal with stress, and just... what I’m like as a human being.”
Teleportation is an apt comparison for Kai’s continued interest in embracing other art forms and expanding his artistic lexicon. If that comes with playing with the constraints of conventional style, fashion, and masculinity, then so be it. Like his artistry, his sartorial expression is boundless: whether it’s the slew of crop tops worn to highlight the chorus in “Don’t Mess Up My Tempo”, which gave us one of the most memorable fan-cams of 2018; to the shirtless red suit for “Love Shot” that, frankly, deserves its own museum; to the soft yet dangerous combination of flaming red and lace he’s sporting in the highlight medley for Kai. Every outfit is the period at the end of his words, mapping out his own zeitgeist.
“As my career progressed, fashion itself became a way to express myself on stage and the being that I am,” he says. “It's not just about expressing the song or the concept itself. I think it’s really important for me to try new things and have people notice what I've been trying. I actually want people to look back on the styles that I've tried as an example for them to reference later on. Fashion has become a really important thing for me to develop myself.”
At the heart of these many concepts, of both his Kai persona and his life as Jongin, is movement. Kim Jongin and Kai share a fundamental receptiveness to the world, and of course, a singular, synchronous rhythm that has become the bedrock of his artistry, whether as part of EXO or out on his own.
“When I was younger and I first started dancing, I think I just simply loved dancing itself. I was immersed in the art of dancing,” he says. “I loved doing it, but I think as I've progressed as a performer, as my career has grown, dancing has not only become something I love to do, but it's also become a tool [to] express myself on stage and to audiences. Dancing has been part of more than half of my life now. It’s like a friend that I can't live without.”"
Credit: Teen Vogue.
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pandawritesmanythings · 6 years ago
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Halfrid // Part 3
Platonic!Loki x Teen!Reader
Summary: Your life has always been dictated by the fact that you are smarter than most adults. This has made you antagonize many of them, it isn’t your fault that you are just citing facts! However, when the god of mischief becomes your friend, are there enough facts you can cite to prove his innocence?
Warnings: None, just no Loki this chapter, sorry!
Word Count: +3000k
A/N: Wow! A lot of people responding positively to the last part! I’m really glad you guys are enjoying it. I am opening the tags list in case anyone wants to be notified when the next chapter comes out!
TAG LIST IS OPEN!!!
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NEW YORK 2014
The streets were filled with the usual buzz that surrounded New York. In the distance, the sounds of construction jolted you awake.
You had fallen asleep in your desk again. You sighed and rubbed your hands all over your face, wiping some of the dried salivae away from your mouth.
Your computer was still on and running, its fans warming up the area where it was sitting. With two fingers you slid through the pad and wrote the password on the lock screen.
It opened to the essay you had been working on last night. You smiled while reading it, your teachers had praised you before on your essays, and you were really proud of this one. Quickly you clicked the share button and sent it to your personal account and to your teacher.
You pushed your chair with wheels away from the desk and hopped off it when you reached your closet. You pulled out a simple sweater and jeans, your black flats and pulled your backpack over your shoulder. You rushed to the bathroom and quickly brushed your teeth.
Your parents were getting ready to get to work. They still hadn't forgiven you for 2012, but you knew they would get over it soon. At least they didn't hang it over your head every time you walked into the room anymore.
"Good morning munchkin!" Your dad called from the kitchen, the blender sounding off.
"Good morning dad!"
"You almost ready for school?" Your mom asked kissing your forehead.
"Yep. I already finished my essay and I left my project on my locker, so I'm good for today." You chirped taking your place in the table and placing your backpack by your chair.
Your mom was typing furiously on the keyboard of her own laptop, even though her expression remained calm. Trying to catch a glimpse you leaned in to see what she was doing.
As soon as she felt your curious gaze on the document, she snapped it closed. 
"Come on mom! Let me see!" You whined.
"No. Finish your breakfast, this is not something for you to meddle with." She seriously stated, her brow furrowed.
You deflated in your seat, a long breath of air coming out of your lips. "I was just curious..." You mumbled.
"And where did your curiosity lead you to, last time?" She rhetorically asked.
You hid your face in your arms trying to avoid her fiery gaze.
"Why do you have to make my appetite go away?" You asked muffling your voice in your arm.
"Stop mumbling and eat your breakfast. I'll pack it if I have to, but you aren't leaving the house without at least a bite out of your sandwich." Your mom seemed to be very final about this, completely ignoring the fact that it had been two whole years since New York, and yet she didn't trust you had become more careful.
A mom's mind must be one of the most complicated ones. You only saw the annoyance that her attitude brought you, but under it, there was an honest and sincere worry for your safety. 
Since 2012, your mom had become more overprotective of you. She had given you a phone and a computer, but they were constantly monitored. If you were on a website you shouldn't be in or downloaded any information that didn't come from an official website, she would get a notification. And let's just say since the attack on New York you haven't been particularly keeping out of trouble.
As you took a bite out of your sandwich and scooped some yogurt out of a cup into your mouth you heard your mom sigh behind you.
She placed her head on her hands, rubbing her sides as if she had a headache. "Darling... My little girl. Why can't you be like others?" She asked, not in an accusatory tone, but one of a very tired mother. She hated having you on such a tight leash, but trust was earned and you hadn't earned it.
"What? You want me to be boring and dumb like my classmates?" You asked in disbelief.
"No! That's not what I meant. I just..." You mom was obviously at a loss for words. So your dad swooped in to save her.
"I think your momma is just tired of you getting in trouble kiddo." He smiled putting a platter of sliced oranges on the table and a homemade strawberry smoothie. "She wants you to go out and play on the hydrants during the summer, and be curious about the world. Instead of only researching it on Wikipedia." He smiled slyly.
"But that's boring!" You retorted. "You know what's fun? Figuring out how to get hidden files from the FBI." You giggled. 
Your mom groaned but your dad just laughed. "Oh, love. She's going to be a great agent someday."
"She's not going to end up entering your business, Frank." Your mom deadpanned him.
"But what if I wanted to?" You butted in.
"I still wouldn't let you. You already cause a lot of trouble by yourself. I can't imagine what you would do with actual authorized access to verifiable sources." She frowned as she opened her laptop and resumed her furious typing, this time letting the frustration bleed onto her face.
You angrily took another bite of your sandwich and downed your smoothie. "I'm done." You jumped out of your seat and slumped your backpack on your shoulder. "See you later." You frowned at your mom and she raised her head to look at you.
She looked worried. You walked up to her, biting your lip. 
She brushed a strand of hair away from your face. "I love you, sweetie. I just want you safe, okay? Please forgive me if my way of showing it is sometimes a little..." She struggled to find the words.
"A little mean?"
A light chuckle left her lips. "Yeah, something like that." She kissed your forehead and looked in your eyes. "Have fun today. I love you."
"I love you too." You smiled.
As you turned around to say goodbye to your dad you found him leaning on the threshold of the kitchen entrance. He smirked at you and you rushed and hugged him by the waist.
"I love you, kiddo." He ruffled your hair.
"I love you too, dad!" You smiled up to him.
As soon as you let go, you waved them a final goodbye, grabbed your anchor shaped keychain, and ran out the door rushing to school.
You said hi to Mrs Alianza, your tenant, and ran out the front door. You walked with a pep in your step, humming a tune to yourself.
The sounds of constructions and particular smells of New York greeted you. The usual people did their usual commute. Store after store was speckled with familiar faces, all of them buying, selling, and working as every other day.
The way to your school wasn't that long, which is why it was one of the only things your parents trusted you enough to do by yourself. You would walk up the street, make a right and at the end of that street was your school. The scent of the Starbucks hit your nose when you passed by the open door. You really wished you had money so you could buy yourself some hot cocoa. The weather of the last few days of September was nicely fresh, but since it was usually colder in the mornings the sweetness and wariness of the chocolatey goodness was just what you needed.
But since you were broke as the hobo down the street, you walked past it and headed to your destination. Prison.
Your school was an old building, it looked really fancy on the outside, but had the same crappy classrooms as any other public school had. The halls were filled to the brim with students who were chatting the start of their day away. You, however, just walked straight into your class. Mrs Peyton wasn't there yet, so you decided to simply sit down and open your assigned book. And yes, you had already read up to were your teacher told you, but what else were you going to do right now? Talk to people?
The seat next to you was usually empty, which is why it surprised you when you saw another girl sitting there.
Ok, you are a social incompetent. But please try this time to be relatable. Or at least not scare her off. You bullied yourself.
"Hey," You snapped your book closed and gave her an awkward smile. "A-Are you new here? I've never seen you before."
She looked taken aback by the fact that you were talking to her, but she also awkwardly smiled and nodded.
"Oh, well... Welcome!"
There was a heavy silence between the two of you. Mainly because you didn't know if to ask a question, or let her talk or ask you a question. Your mind kept rolling around to try and make this disgusting silence disappear.
"U-Um..." You struggled. "So, have long have you lived here?"
She looked at you weirdly. This is why I'm a social outcast. You thought.
"All my life? I just transferred schools." 
WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT. You inwardly screamed.
"Oh! That's cool. What school were you attending before?" You asked as you repeated inwardly: Please don't say Visions. Don't say Visions.
"Visions Academy." SWEET MOTHER OF ICICLES-! "It was the best school I have ever attended."
"Ah. Why did you come here then?"
She looked at you as if it was an obvious answer. "My parents think I need to experience The Real World." The did an exasperated gesture. "What does that even mean!?" 
"Well, maybe they want you to see the other side?"
"And mingle with peasants? I would rather die." She huffed.
"Well, you are technically mingling with one." You pointed to yourself.
"Oh, no. I know you are, I just see you and don't think you'll remember what I tell you in a couple of days." 
Did she just call me stupid? You tried to maintain a calm and collected face.
"You don't look like the social type, so I guess you don't care that much for people's problems and grievances." She swatted the air with her hand. "To be honest. I wasn't even that popular in my other school. But if others know I was studying there, maybe I'll finally be popular!" She beamed as if it was her goal in life to be the centre of everyone's attention.
You had two options. Forget this annoying and self-absorbed girl, or make something out of this.
"Have you ever heard the phrase, A fake friend and a shadow only come by when the sun shines?" You looked at her and she shook her head. "It's Benjamin Franklin. Great guy. You might have heard of him."
That got a snort out of her. "Yeah, I have."
"What do you think that means?" You thoughtfully gazed at her.
She looked at you blankly for a second. "I... Don't know...?"
You adjusted yourself in your seat. "A shadow is by your side when the sun is out, just like a fake friend will. But disappear when the clouds roll by. A friend can do the same if they don't care for you and only care for your popularity. You think they'll stick around when the hard times come?"
It left her thinking. She was silent for a minute, looking everywhere except where you were sitting. Something told you that there was more to this girl than you initially thought. Just as she was going to answer you, Mrs Peyton arrived in the classroom and the bell ringed.
You didn't see the girl for the rest of the day.
The girl. Wow. You really had to start asking for people's names first, didn't you?
When your last period was over the bell rang and kids started filing out of the classrooms. Then you saw her.
She was wearing a pink skirt, as short as the dress code allowed her and a pink sweater with a white dress shirt neck coming out of the neck of the sweater. Yeah, she definitely came from a prep school. She contrasted highly with you. Yet, she pushed off the wall and approached you meekly.
"I was thinking about what you said." She claimed. "The truth is... I don't know what I am truly doing here. I don't know how long will I stay, but I just wanted... The validation I guess."
You smiled at her, sympathetically. "So, what do you really want?"
"A friend."
"I... I think I do too." You smiled at her.
"My name is Ashley."
"Mine is (Y/N)"
MONTHS LATER
You had no idea where this had come from. And honestly, neither did Ashley.
You were just one day chatting about the fact that the Avengers were the only guys without cooties in the whole world. They were actually super cool. You laid in your bed listening to Ashley talk about why Thor would beat Iron Man in the blink of an eye.
"I mean. It makes sense, as smart as Stark is, he doesn't level out with Thor's powers." She finalized the rant that you were barely paying attention to while you re-searched about them online. No. You weren't stalking. That's creepy.
"But that's where you are wrong. His source of power comes from his hammer. Right?"
"I guess?"
"Then look." You turned the laptop to her and showed her the security feed you were watching. "If we are talking combat, yes he is great. But so is Stark." 
In the feed Thor tried to lift his hammer just to not being able to and giving up, melting in a puddle of despair. "See? Without his hammer, he is basically defenceless."
"He still can fight. Without the suit Stark isn't much more, isn't he?"
"No no no. That's where you are wrong. Stark has the brains. Thor has the brawns." You smirked. "If Tony had to manage to beat Thor without his suit, I think he would find a way. He is way too intelligent for his own good."
"Maybe. But if there is something we can agree with, is that Cap is the whole package." 
You both flopped onto your mattress laughing at that. "That is America's good soldier!" You laughed.
"His butt, tho." 
"EW. NO. DISGUSTING. SHUT UP." You slammed her with a pillow.
You both kept laughing for a bit longer and slowly your laughs became more breathy and ceased being so loud and frequent. You slowly sat up.
It had been a while since you had thought about the 2012 incident. But seeing that footage from Thor and all that talk about mind versus brawn got you thinking... What was Loki doing here anyway? He definitely wasn't the brawns. And the way he got defeated was... Almost comical. But when you talked to him, he came across as a very thought inducing and mysterious guy. And being honest, no bad guy tries to dominate if he doesn't have a clever plan.
"You ever think about the villains the Avengers have to defeat?" You asked, your mind wandering.
"I barely do, honestly." She got up too and placed you pillows back into place. "I just like to think about how many lives they save. I know that they can't save everyone, but I am pretty grateful for the fact that this world is still here. I don't think we would be if it wasn't for them."
"Yeah... Yeah. You're right."
But after Ashley left you were still thinking. Your mind was going in circles. You had always been bad at social interaction, but the only two people you had ever felt truly comfortable talking to were Ashley and, strangely, Loki. How? You had just talked for a few minutes with him, but you could recall what he told you that day almost completely.
So that is how it started. You brought out your personal notebook and wrote down:
The 2012 Incident
And wrote all you could remember about your exchange with him. All you could remember about the ship, how you entered his cell. Your conversation. You repeated the events in your head over and over again until you wrote everything down. Over the next few days, you analyzed all you wrote, over and over again.
Your teachers noticed.
"Are you okay, (Y/N)?" Mrs Peyton asked as you wrote down ideas for the latest essay in her class. You had been spacing out for too long.
"Um! Yes, I'm good. Just... Writer's block, you know how it is..." You stumbled over your words. She didn't look convinced, but still, she gave you a tight lip smile and continued on to help students who were stuck.
A couple of days later you heard your name being called through the teacher's radio.
"(Y/N). Miss Jennifer wants to see you."
Ashley shot you a worried look, it wasn't often that you were called to your adviser's office. But you gave her a slight nod and got up your seat to go to the adviser's office.
You were surprised to see your father sitting there. "(Y/N), dear. We are happy you could join us."
"Is everything okay?" You questioned.
"Yes. Of course." Miss Jennifer reassured you and pointed towards the chair so you could sit down.
"We have had many comments lately on your daughter not being able to fully concentrate in classes. We just wanted to know if there is anything you would like to tell us, darling?" She said as nicely as she could.
Your dad raised an eyebrow in your direction.
Oh, crap. How were you going to explain this? You couldn't just say that a psychopath that you once crossed roads with had been occupying your thoughts.
"You see. Sometimes I want to write about many things, and if I get an idea for something I... Kinda space out. Sorry if I have worried anyone." You tried to answer, your voice sounding more confident than you actually felt.
"I see." She wrote something down.
"Has it been affecting her grades? I know she is smart, but she does have a tendency to lock herself in her head." You dad ask concerned.
"Well, although she has certainly been distracted, there is nothing wrong with her grades. She astoundingly completes her work. Besides her spacing out, her teachers don't fault her much on anything." She tried to calm your dad down. "I called this meeting, firstly to address this subject and make you aware of it Mr. (Y/L/N). However, there is one more matter I wanted to discuss."
"Well?"
She proceeded to show us in her laptop a scholarship program. "I know that (Y/N) is still quite young, but I think this would be an excellent outlet for her imagination." She slid a pamphlet towards us and continued to explain. "See, the WRITE Scholarship is based on talent, and not grades. Some start writing their entrances since they can hold a pencil, but I think that you have enough experience to start trying. You must turn it in, as of late, the last month of your senior year. Some write short stories, but some of the most successful are those who turn in essays about things that interest them. For example, a girl last year won by turning in an essay with proof and facts of how HYDRA had infiltrated so quietly into SHIELD. It won her the scholarship and she went to the college of her choice to keep learning what she loves."
It left you speechless. A scholarship that would fully pay for all your college expenses if you turned in an essay that blew their minds? It was like a dream come true. And you could write about anything. Anything at all.
Miss Jennifer kept talking and gushing about it, but you had already heard enough. There were so many possibilities as to what you could do.
But your mind kept going back to that girl who had investigated HYDRA. What if you could do the same... But examining why did the Incident of 2012 happen?
To Be Continued...
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bemystarsandroses · 7 years ago
Text
Tough bad boy love
So, this was on Wattpad but since that platform is mostly on luck and whatnot, I think I will post more on here. So, these characters are mine and so is the story. It's... Kinda cliche, but who doesn't love the whole "bad boy loves dorky boy" trope? It's so. Effing. Cute. And I don't think it's used enough in writing. Especially since I have my own lil twist on here. Anyway! If you see any errors or something, please tell me! Also, if you see this on any other place except Wattpad, please tell me! Thanks!!!
Warnings: death mention, death by car crash, greif, new town, new people, arithmomania, rebellious teens, slight bullying it may be considered bullying but yikes this dude is rude,fam fluff, brotherly fluff
Ships: ;) you'll know later
Extra: Kaden is an Oc who, true to his character, has a nickname. This means that in this story, and probably only this story his name is not Kaden. I got too excited when I first made this and made his name Kaden. Didn't even remember the whole nickname thing. So if you find any errors at all, tell me and please let me know!
Arithmomania. The act of counting things as a form of OCD.
We just moved in at 4156 at New Banks Road. Fourth house on the left, it's the blue one with a red roof. Three blocks away from South New Haven High. In the middle of New Haven, in the middle of California, in the middle of no where. This town can almost be called 'off the map.' It felt so remote to me. Then again, I was used to large cities, and this was a small town. Everyone knew everyone. So of course, after we finished unpacking, three people came to our house with baked goods. Cupcakes, cookies, and the other one was an actual cake. My mom looked at me while she put them on the kitchen counter.
"Well if everyone is this nice, then Eric, this place will be perfect for you!" Her smile seemed to make every dark corner of the room brighten. She was my light in the dark when everything was gone to crap. I loved her the most out of everyone in my life, and I would do anything for her. I smiled back, nodding as i spoke to her in my own deep voice. I'm 16, puberty sucks, that's about it.
"Yea, hopefully." I hummed out, I felt my face set into a soft smile as I bit into a chocolate chip cookie. I stared at it for just a moment, counting the chocolate chips in it. As I could see, there was thirteen. I would probably find more as I ate, so I took a bite.
As I chewed, the flavor burst into my mouth and I stood there in awe. "Wow! These are amazing!" I cheered, devouring the cookie quickly. My older brother, Thomas, laughed at me.
"Hey, did you enjoy the cookie?" He mused as he got into a cabinet for a cup. I nodded furiously, my black hair swishing along. After I had my little headbanging session, I smoothed back my hair, which was straight, straighter than me. My brother and I shared our mother's hair color, but according to mom, our father had the curliest hair known to man. That's what my brother got. It was shaved on one side, and on the other he kept most of his hair. It was pretty cool, and his hair got him a lot of girlfriend's who just loved to run their hands through it. I've never really had a date, but since it's a new school year, I hope that would change.
"Eric, have you unpacked your room yet? Decorated or anything?" I shook my head as an answer. She tsk'ed, using her index finger to point at where my estimated room was. "Then go unpack, do something. Maybe it can get your mind off of moving?" Her smooth words strikes me, and I head out of the kitchen with a cookie still in my mouth.
I walk up two steps that lead from our kitchen to out living room, then turn right onto the stairs. I walk up 30 stairs, walk five feet, then turn right once again. I was met with a brown oak door, a golden handle that I put my hand on and turned the knob. I was met with white walls, a dark blue carpet, and a brown door that lead to the closet. I had a dresser near the window which was in the middle of the room, wall opposite of the door. While my bed was to the left of me. Boxes which had my radio, books, and laptop ( and other things). Though I went to my bed, with blue covers and a green pillow, I laid down on my back. I have to be careful, so I don't hit my head on the black nightstand. I stared at the ceiling, which had a fan with... "1....2....3....4...5....6!"
Six blades on it and one lightbulb. I loved counting this house, it made me feel like I was doing something worth while in this town. I may have picked the habit up from my old friends, who loved math. I sighed, remembering my old school and why I was here. That day, one month ago, ruined my life. One of my closest friends, who also did the counting habit, died. She was very sweet and kind, always putting herself before others, but she's gone because of one mistake, of one party night, of one friend who was a little too drunk. I sighed, thinking of her. She was just like me, born with this ocd type, arithmomania. For her, everything had a number. Plants had low numbers, animals around thirty or so, and humans had above fifty. With that, she would add up things with those numbers. The numbers were her trick, and it never made sense to me.I always just counted the basics of things, how many people there were, along with who in the room had brown hair or something. It used to hurt me in elementary and middle school, but being a junior now, and having the last two years with a friend who was just like me helped a lot. Now she's gone. Now, I am all alone...
I sigh once again, now getting up and leaning over my bed to stand. I walk slowly over to a box, it's beside my dresser. I open up the four flaps, and dig through the packing peanuts to find a laptop. The top cover was a dark green and blue Galaxy. It was beautiful to me, space is amazing. I stand and walk back to the bed and sat down. I open it up, and type in my password. 'imissyou' then I open up Google Chrome, and go on a website called After School. I had signed in a few days ago, when I found out the school I will be attending tomorrow. I posted something :
Erictheman
Hey, I will be your new student tomorrow. I cannot wait to meet everyone!
I watched as everyone told me hello, being nice and polite to me, welcoming me to the school and such. However, one person stood out from the rest, like he didn't belong in this chat at all.
Coffeishowisurvive
Welcome to hell, hope to see you never, nerd.
He seemed rude. I huffed, reading it over and over again. "Well I certainly hope I don't run into you at all. You sound like buckets of fun." I rolled my eyes, closing my laptop. Seems like it's time to stop for a while. I put it under my bed, I then start to unpack once more. Clothes where now scattered across the carpet, so I stood up and got out some hangers. Then opened my closet, slowly doing the process of putting the shirts, jeans, and other things into the multiple colored hangers then I hung them up. It wasn't a hard process, and I tried my best to resist counting. My mother told me it's okay to count the house, just not the actions, or I'll go mad.
I gave a small sigh, thinking about songs that we're stuck in my head. I started to hum a bit, which slowly but surely escalated to full on singing.
I was a complete nerd, but now the music was all that was in my head. I sang Bon Jovi. "Oooohh, we're halfway there. Oooohh! Living on a prayer! Take my hand we'll make it I swear. Ooohh-! Living on a prayer!" I rocked out, smiling quite a bit. My mom knocked on my bedroom door, interrupting my rock session. "Hunny, c'mon downstairs. Time for dinner! It's pizza today, since I thought it would be a good relaxing day." I nodded, putting away one more clothing and went outside my room. I closed the door behind me, and walked down the hallway, down the stairs.... And turned in to the kitchen. There, my brother was eating pepperoni pizza and sipping on a glass of soda. I think it was Pepsi? I sighed, sitting down beside him and grabbing a slice. I bit into it, until I heard a rev of a Motercycle.
I was quick to get up, wanting to know who in this small town was driving such a cool thing! rushing out the door and twisting the gold knob. I open it, to find a teenager, probably my age, on a cherry red motercycle. As the boy did a stop at a stop sign, I got a pretty good look at him, since we lived on the corner. His body was in black, with what looked like leather. On the back of it was a bright red A with a circle around it that was covering a good portion of it. The shoulders seemed to have pads on, making his shoulders look bulkier and wider, Along with jeans and a pair of dark boots. I couldn't see his face. All I saw, was his bright Blue hair poking out of the sides of the helmet. We kept eye contact for about.... 10 seconds until he rode off. I stared in awe, did this town have a ' bad boy' like in the books? But damn, did he look hot as hell in leather.
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evalocity · 7 years ago
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Password to your Heart
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Pairing : Junmyeon x Becky (my friend Admin B from @noona-clock !)
Words : 2k
Genre : Fluff, Hogwarts!Au, a little bit of angst
Summary : They do say stereotypes have a part of truth in them, and when it comes to the smart, nerdy, bookworm Ravenclaw and the brave, athletic, witty Gryffindor, it seems that this part of truth lies in Becky, Junmyeon and the cheesy crush they have for each other but will never admit. Or will they ?
Message for Admin B : It’s been a while since I’ve shared my work to anyone at all, but when Admin T came to me and asked me to do something for your birthday Becky, it was with great pleasure that I accepted. I honestly don’t remember being more motivated and enthusiastic for a fic than with this one ! Waiting a whole week for you to read this was absolute torture, and I low key forced a few of my mutuals to read some parts to have feedback because I wanted everything to be perfect. I truly hope you’ll like this. I wish you an amazing Birthday and year, you’ve been such a good friend to me B (you and T !) I’m so so glad I decided to follow your blog and that we became mutuals cause damn I don’t know what I would do without your writing and, well, you ^^ Hope you enjoy xoxo
“Password ?” 
“What ?” 
“I asked for the password you have to say for me to let you pass.” The portrait of an old, bearded man in front of Becky replied with an annoyed tone. “Don’t you know how it works ?”
The Ravenclaw frowned. The secret passages she’d use to arrive on time for her classes never required a password before, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to deal with Sprout’s wrath would she be late because of the stubbornness of a portrait.  
“I’ve been using secret passages for seven years. How come are you the only one enforcing a password to cross yours ?” 
“Because I decided so.” 
Great. Becky thought while rolling her eyes as she tried to think of a way to pass. 
After a minute that felt like an eternity of the girl’s dark eyes glaring at the portrait’s painted ones, the old man sighed, having seemingly gave up trying to get out winner of this situation. 
“Are you going to stand here all morning ?” He asked, this time fear more present in his tone than irritation. 
"Well that depends..maybe you could make an exception for me ?” Becky asked while doing what she hoped would look like puppy eyes. “It’s my birthday and I really, really, don’t want to start the day with a detention. Pretty please ?” 
The portrait stayed silent for a few seconds, visibly weighing his limited options. 
“Very well, very well.” He finally said, defeated. “Normally I would obviously have refused you access to my passage but as it’s your birthday...maybe I could give you a present for the occasion.” 
“Look that’s nice but I really don’t have the ti-”
“Pumpkin Pastry. Happy birthday.” 
Becky couldn’t help but carry a smile of content as she realized what the portrait meant and thanked him.
“Don’t mention it.” 
“Sweets as passwords, though ?” She said sarcastically, crossing the passage’s entrance. “Isn’t that Professor Dumbledore’s thing ?” 
“He stole it from me.” 
Becky loved using secret passages. Yes, of course, it’d provide her with a quick and efficient way to move around the castle, but mostly she’d use them to be in her own world for a few minutes, or a few hours would she sit in the middle of the dark yet warm corridors to finish a book. And the best thing was, whereas wherever she’d be or whatever she’d touch in the gigantic castle had been someone else’s before - even her own bed - these long passages were that one thing that she and only she owned. 
It’s not that she didn’t have friends or anything. Actually, Becky was well-liked amongst all Houses combined. Ambitious, loyal, friendly and smart, it seemed like the Ravenclaw was the best student and friend you could ask for. But that was the heart of the problem. Her problem. One might think that being this “perfect” brought the perfect life along, but truth was all it truly brought was the unbearable pressure of always hiding behind a flawless facade, leading Becky to need a break from the rest of the world pretty often.
Although her joyful aura was appreciated by many, there were still students at Hogwarts that rather preferred picking on the young wizard to see it finally break. Sometimes, they did succeed, but she’d never cry in front of them and instead would opt for hiding in a secret passage until the tears would stop falling. 
And when Becky thought about who these bullies were, it truly didn’t surprise her that most of them were Gryffindors. Not because in that House necessarily lied meaner people, but because it was in that House that belonged Kim Junmyeon.  
Ugh. 
Only thinking about him made her want to throw up. 
When she saw him sit on that small wooden stool, waiting to be sorted and nervously playing with his fingers when they were only 12 and had been in Hogwarts for no more than 15 minutes, her young and inexperienced heart had ridiculously missed a beat. 
That was before he’d actually open his mouth. 
Nowadays the Ravenclaw prefect saw Junmyeon as he truly was : the Gryffindor troublemaker. Always late in class, always with his tie undone - Becky had to admit it was kinda sexy, but nobody needed to know that - always picking on her and calling her “Becca” or “Becs” or anything that wasn’t what she liked to be called as...
The young girl shook her head. Trying to forget about all that, as after all it was the point of using these secret passages, she focused on the feeling of her fingers sliding against the cold stone walls when she was walking until, by turning a corner, she was stopped short by a jet-haired boy in front of her she recognized way too well.
His doe-brown eyes widen as they met hers, both of their faces distorted in horror. 
“Jun-Junmyeon ?” Becky stammered with bulging eyes. “What the hell are you doing here ?”
“Becca ?!” He said, visibly just as shocked but also suspiciously uncomfortable and out of breath, as if he had been caught rather than surprised. “I...huh didn’t see you there. What’s up ?” 
“I've told you a thousand time it’s Becky.” She stuttered trying not to look at the boy’s unsurprisingly undone tie and messy hair but only ending up turning red. “And you didn’t answer my question...” 
“Why are you blushing ?” Junmyeon asked, quirking an eyebrow arrogantly as he knew so well how to.
“Just tell me what you’re doing here !” 
The Gryffindor didn’t answer right away, and Becky could swear he was up to no good though investigating the mess he’d done 10 minutes before class wasn’t what she had in mind. 
“I’m not sure that concerns you, princess.” He simply said, and Becky prayed she didn’t turn even more red at the nickname, internally confused at why it was suddenly so hot in the confined space. 
“I’m a Prefect, so yes whatever you’re up to does concern me.” She tried to reply as sharply as possible. “However, I’m late for class and you’re definitely not on my priority list right now, so I’ll deal with you later.” And with that she passed him by, heading to the passage’s exit. 
“Not your priority, huh ?” Junmyeon inquired as he followed her lead. “I’m hurt.” 
“Just leave me alone, Junmyeon ! I already had to fight my way in here with a portrait, I don’t want to fight my way out with you.” 
“Why are you acting all high and mighty suddenly ?” He continued, obviously having other plans in mind than respecting the boundaries the Ravenclaw was desperately trying to set. “I know you can be fun, Minseok hyung told me you’re always the one making people laugh in your common room.” 
“Didn’t know Minseok was in your group of bullies.” Becky said, her mind racing at the thought of her friend telling Junmyeon about what she was like. 
The back of the tapestry that hid the passage’s exit was now only a few feet in front of the two teens and, without even waiting for an answer to her comment, she accelerated her pace to finally get out of what seemed to be hell.
“I thought I told you to leave me alone !” Becky hurled, looking behind her shoulder at Junmyeon who’d seem to keep following her once outside the passage. 
When she finally saw him stop in his tracks, the Ravenclaw satisfyingly turned around to look in front on her until she was stopped herself by noticing that the tall and imposant figure of her transfiguration professor was standing in the middle of the corridor, her green eyes staring at them both with reprobation and discontent. 
“So this really isn’t my day, huh.” The prefect couldn’t help but say out loud. 
“Professor McGonagall, Rebecca has nothing to do with this.” Junmyeon said, stepping forward next to Becky who, confused, was trying to silently ask the boy what he could possibly be talking about. 
“Please, spare me your excuses, Mr. Kim.” The woman said firmly, her piercing gaze almost magically forcing the teens to stay quiet. “It is very noble of you to try to defend your classmate, but I am sorry to tell you that both of you, along with the other students that helped perpetrate this prank, will be forced to attend detention tonight in the Forbidden Forest.” 
“What ?!”
“Yes, professor...” 
“You must be kidding me.” Was the only thing Becky could manage to add as she watched McGonagall quietly turning a corner of the corridor and disappearing. “For Merlin’s sake, please tell me this is a dream.” 
“Becca...” 
“Pinch me. You have to pinch me cause I need to wake up I swear this can’t-” 
“Bec stop !” 
“No YOU stop !” Becky almost shouted to the point where the Gryffindor took a few steps away from her. “Minerva McGonagall just sent me to the Forbidden Forest on my birthday because YOU fucked up as you always do !” 
The girl took a deep breath and didn’t speak for a few minutes, merely acknowledging Junmyeon who hadn’t moved an inch. 
“So, see you tonight, right ? Can’t wait for the birthday party to start.” She finally said and with that she was stormed off without another word. 
“Where are the others ?” 
“They already went in, I waited for you.” Junmyeon answered quietly as they walked towards the dark forest, noticing how Becky’s dull eyes didn’t even bother looking at him when she sarcastically snapped back “too kind.”
When Becky was sarcastic, it was never good. Junmyeon knew that well. It was her way of protecting herself from him, from others. 
How she’d act when he’d put a lock of hair behind her ear for her on purpose. What she’d do when he’d stare at her just a bit too long as she’d blame her cheeks getting red on her being angry instead of shy. 
The teenagers both had a warm cloak over their uniforms, the Gryffindors eyes shining under the light of the Ravenclaw’s wand. The boy was trying to find a way of making conversation, but before he could say a word he was cut by his counterpart who was visibly feeling uncomfortable by the deafening silence too. 
“Do you ever comb your hair ?” She asked and Junmyeon was taken aback by the weirdness of the question. 
“I don’t know...I never really bothered, why ?” 
“It’s been 5 years and it seems everyday is your bad hair day.” 
“Oh, so you noticed that ?” He teased as Becky’s cheeks unsurprisingly started getting red. 
She didn’t answer and instead looked away, embarrassed that someone now knew how, when she’d drift away and stop listening in class, it was him she’d observe. 
Why did Junmyeon always had to make her uncomfortable ? She hated that. She hated him. 
You started it. Becky thought only to curse herself for thinking that.
“What are you thinking about ?” 
The girl stopped in her tracks, turning her head to look at Junmyeon who had spoken up and found herself destabilized by the way he was deeply staring at her. 
“That this night sucks.” She muttered, trying to keep her composure by crossing her arms. 
“No it doesn’t.” The boy softly said but shut up as Becky shushed him. “What is it ?” 
“I heard a noise...” 
“It’s probably just the wind.” 
“Or a wild, big and hungry animal.” 
Junmyeon rolled his eyes and shook his head. 
“Whatever.” He chuckled, a smirk on his lips as he quicken his pace. 
“Hey ! Don’t you dare leave me behind Kim Junmyeon or my ghost will haunt your ass !” 
The boy slowed down but kept smiling at the thought of Becky opening up to him, being funny around him and, just, being herself. 
Wasn’t it little steps that mattered most ? 
“I’m serious though ! This is by far the worst way to celebrate a bir-” Becky tried to add but was cut off by the forest around her illuminating suddenly as all she heard was Lumos !. 
With her mouth slightly opened, she saw garlands light up in the branches of the old trees of the forest. Minseok, Yixing, Irene, her best friend Seulgi and even Junmyeon’s own best friend Chanyeol were all there, holding a cake in the air with their wands and smiling at her. 
“Jun...Junmyeon ?” She stammered, looking at the boy who had the brightest smile of them all.
“Happy Birthday Becs.” 
For a few seconds no sounds would come out of Becky’s mouth. Until all she could ask was “Was that...your idea ?” 
“It was.” Chanyeol answered for his friend with a wink. “And he owes me 5 galleons for helping making the cake.” He continued, but a simple glare from his friends told him to shut up. 
“So...are we going to eat that cake or not ?” Yixing asked, and in that moment Junmyeon regretted he didn’t plan something without his guy friends. 
“How about you start eating and the birthday girl joins you in a few minutes, yeah ?” He proposed, and everyone seemed to understand what he meant. 
Everyone except Becky who couldn’t remember being more confused in the entirety of her life.
“I-I don’t understand.” She said, looking at the Gryffindor in desperation for an answer. 
“Look, I don’t want to sound cheesy here, but I...I really like you, Becca. I wanted to show it to you tonight, with this birthday party in the woods and witg professor McGonagall’s help as..I know I haven’t always been able to do so properly before.” 
“Yeah...that’s an understatement.” Becky murmured, letting out a sigh. “I’ve had a crush on you ever since I watched you during the Sorting Ceremony and...Merlin this is embarrassing.” 
Junmyeon laughed warmly, embracing the young girl who stood stoic in his arms, unable to move from the shock of how her day went on. 
“This is crazy.” She said, feeling weak, but was shut up by the chaste kiss that the boy put on her lips. 
“Was that alright ?” He asked nervously, and Becky could swear the last time she had seen him this nervous had been 5 years ago when he sat on that wooden stool. 
“It was perfect.” 
“I meant if it was okay for me to kiss you, but I’ll take that too.” 
It was the Ravenclaw’s time to laugh, and taking the boy by his loose tie, she pulled him against her to kiss him again. 
“Huh Becky ?” Seulgi called. “Not to ruin the moment, but there are people...watching this.” 
“Not in a thousand years would I have believed professor Trelawney had she told me this day would be real.” Becky softly said to the boy who was now inches from her face. 
“Happy Birthday, princess.”
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rainystripe · 7 years ago
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{one-shot (?)} ROLL DEEP
pairing: Jughead Jones/Betty Cooper fandom: Riverdale 6773 words Summary/excerpt: “Merry Christmas, jo—y” he mutters to himself after securing a large bite of brownie in his mouth. It’s dark in his room during Christmas, but the darkness fades away as his phone lights up with 5 back to back messages from Betty. It doesn’t take much guessing to wonder what she’s sent.
A greeting of course, and a million colorful emoji.
Jug!
Merry Christmas
!
--
or,
Jughead Jones + Netflix and Chill= Betty Cooper?
AO3
Okay, idk where to start LOL. This is inspired by my own dumb text posts and @sweaters-and-crowns inspired me to write this out. I wrote this shit in an entire sitting until my phone was about to die. ANYWAY, a huge, HUGE thank you to @theatreofexpression, @electromagnetic-waves and @rezfaultsmoke for helping me out with this! Honestly, cannot express my gratitude enough <3
I have the option for a possible follow up chapter just in case I go along with it. But lemme know if one of you is interested in collaborating with the second one?!
lastly, Happy Holidays to everyone reading this.
Being alone wasn’t all that bad. Jughead Jones knew that perfectly well. And it’s not that he’s entirely lonely, he has friends and family.
A very spotty family at that, but there’s always a family there for him. And as of late, his choice of family isn’t one by blood in fact, his best friend and his dad are always there for him. Archie and Fred Andrews are always on call for whenever he needs anything. It’s not that Jughead is some type of beggar, because he isn’t, but when he finds that he needs the comforting warmth of familiar faces, good greasy food, and overall good times, the Andrews men are always a good choice.
It’s December 13th in late 2015 when Archie texts Jughead the password to the Netflix account that had recently Fred opened up. The red haired teen has done nothing but gush about how ‘epic’ and ‘fucking awesome’ the application was and at first Jughead doesn’t understand the hype. He’s heard of it, yeah— who hasn’t? The ads are everywhere and so are the stupid memes. Jughead also didn’t understand why he would  need an online theater since there was a perfectly working on through the Bijou and the Twilight. The later of while held glorious tin encased reels from years past. Nothing could compare to the original format of film, but alas, Jughead was born in a different era: the Digital Age.
“Netflix and Chill”
Just hearing Archie talk about the popular term makes the blue eyed teen grimace as he stuffs a chip into his mouth. Archie has been on a quest to ‘get some girls’ and as far as Jughead knew, no one was biting. He does however, know what the entirety of the football team have been ‘getting some fine ass pussy’ (according to Chuck Clayton) as of late, and the not-subtle locker confessions are always accompanied by the Netflix and Chill combo. He doesn’t quite get what the fuss is all about nor does he care. But one thing is for sure, and that is that Jughead Jones doesn’t want to “chill” with a girl while he could be watching a movie on his own.
Unless that girl was blonde, green eyed and super into movies as he was. Elizabeth Cooper was the only girl that he'd hang out with and that was law. No one else could sit with him through a movie, not even his kid sister Jellybean, as she’d talk through the entire selection of his choice and whine about his top choice films for being ‘boring’. Archie was something else, maybe he’d reconsider the ginger if he’d stop falling asleep during Inglourious Basterds. So, Betty was the perfect candidate for watching a movie or t.v series with.
There’s a strange occurrence one day when they all sit for lunch one day, the blonde plops down and immediately dips her head down to ask them something. They’re outside in the blistering cold and Archie is seated next to her while Jughead sits across from the pair. It’s a normal lunch break  until Betty asks what the meaning to ‘chilling with Netflix...or whatever’ meant.
The redhead next to her strings loudly at the wooden guitar while Jughead swears the apple juice he’s just been drinking might’ve gone up his nose. Their reactions only cause Betty’s authoritative gaze to inquire for more information and in typical Cooper fashion, the look demands answers.
“Uh, w-why do you ask, Betts?” Jughead doesn’t mean to stutter, but he does and he doesn’t know why.
Betty blinks and a blonde brow shoots up “Because... Reggie just asked me if I wanted to ‘chill and netflix’ with him.” Her fingers raise to quote her own words, confusion evident on her face. “And then his goonies started to laugh!” She huffs and purses her lips.
Both Archie and Jughead share a knowing look, one of pity from Jughead and the other of awkwardness from his best friend. While Betty picks and tears at the plastic wrapped around her straw, she mumbles in annoyance, distaste as clear as day on her face.
“Ugh. What does that mean?” she mumbles.
Archie’s chocolate eyes urge Jughead’s own icy ones and vice versa. There’s a tiny tug and pull to see who will let Betty in on the dumb trend, and Jughead finally sighs. It always felt weird to talk about anything dirty or suggestive to wholesome Betty Cooper.
“Err— well, Betty…” when he finally starts, her ears perk up and all of her attention is on the beanie clad boy. The curious look and doe eyes make him gulp.
Why did he suddenly feel bad?
“Reggie is being a dumbo as per usual, so don’t listen to anything that leaves his Colgate mouth. But, if you must know…”
The explaining happens and by the end, Betty is fuming in disgust. Archie plants a comforting hand on her back and Jughead offers up the apple on his tray that he never eats as a condolence, one which Betty gratefully pockets for her walk back home after school.
That night, when he’s lounging in tiny space of his living room, his phone rings. Homework has been finished and his backpack was ready for the next class day. Jughead was fresh out the shower and attempting to write on his laptop when the password is texted to him. He stares at his phone for a good minute and ponders if his slow internet would even entice him to download the app on the older computer. It’s not until another text comes through a few minutes later that Archie reminds him of the web browser alternative that he finally gives in and signs into the page.
Writing was sort of boring and the trailer was actually warm for once thanks to the ancient heater that rumbled to life after kicking it in frustration that cold morning. Jughead turns off the light next to him by the couch, allowing darkness to engulf the tiny trailer. The website is simple enough and he realizes that one account already has been set to be his. He snorts and smiles and proceeds to click on the lazy looking image. He doesn’t know where to start; there is an overwhelming amount of content that’s plastered on the main page.
Mean Girls, The Walking Dead, Pocahontas even. Everything is new and flashy and none of it catches his attention and after scrolling for what felt like forever, a recommendation that he recognizes greets him: Rebel Without A Cause.
“Huh, not bad Netflix, not bad at all.” He mutters.
Jughead watches the entirety of the movie and then he’s watches another, and another. He watches a total of four classic films before his eyes close on him. The laptop eventually goes to sleep and Jughead has a strange dream where he’s the main character in a noir inspired film and Betty is a spy that’s out to get him.
Surprisingly enough, Netflix becomes a normal part of Jughead’s daily routine. He often finds himself watching The Twilight Zone while getting ready for school. Other times, he’s sitting on the small two person table in the corner of the kitchen while blowing on the instant ramen that he's made for dinner as Nightmare on Elm Street blares through the speakers of his laptop.
He won’t admit it to anyone because he’s not one to admit to anything, but Jughead finds himself literally chilling while watching Netflix. So maybe the concept of an online Blockbuster isn’t all that bad.
The days go on, and when Christmas break finally arrives, a selection of Christmas themed movies filter through his recommended list. Most of the films that have been selected don’t interest him—sans the original Home Alone (and that one only) so Jughead settles on binging the X-Files and going against the holiday mood that the year has bestowed on the entire planet.
“Santa, kiss my ass. Hello, aliens.”
On Christmas Eve, the trio of friends spend a few hours of the afternoon at Pop’s. Betty and Archie bring gifts and spoil Jughead. While he doesn’t have any gifts to give due to his nonexistent cash flow, he does manage to scavenge enough money from under the couch and the inside of his father's truck to pay for two milkshakes.
“Aww, you didn’t have to, Juggie!” críes Betty, but the look in her eyes say otherwise. If there was a way to describe the word ‘mouthwatering’ it would be the way her jade eyes gloss over with glee at the sight of her favorite treat being placed in front of her. Beside’s, milkshakes usually mark the end of their usual meal, so it was tradition anyway.
“It’s fine, Betty. Trust me. Just enjoy it, please.” The burning embarrassment that’s filling his belly makes him squirm at his version of a gift, but alas, his friends don’t seem to care about the quality or price tag.
“Okay.” Betty pouts back, but she cracks not a second after when her finger dips to scoop up the whipped cream topping the strawberry milkshake. The shy smile on her face makes him smile in return and before he can even register what he’s doing, the maraschino cherry from Betty’s treat is being plucked away from its creamy resting place.
“Jug!” she gasps in mild horror.
A sheepish grin breaks out on Jughead after popping the cherry into his mouth.
In the end, Archie offers his which Betty gratefully accepts and chews on while glaring at the dark haired boy sitting across from her.
Betty’s gift is a new cotton sweater in a cool grey, there’s no hoodie or zipper to it, and while it’s not his usual style, it’s very comfortable and warms him up faster than the broken heater. She’s also gifts him with the annual batch of brownies prepared by her mother, ones which he looked forward to every year. The sinful double chocolate chip fudge brownies were the epitome of heaven on earth that Alice Cooper somehow made every year. It was a treat that contradicts her usual strict style of dieting and control of food for her family, but he had no complains about the brownies, and he never will— unless she changes up the recipe to be skinny. His other gift is a 40 dollar gift card to Pops which Archie swears was the best gift ever since he will be able to reload it whenever he wanted to. A suggestion which Archie throws at him that includes the pink card being reloaded by him for his birthday and the following Christmas.
He’s grateful, he really is. Money is a problem, Jughead grew up with minimal money in his life. Being poor and broke and living off used things was the norm for him. He was still too young to find a job and while his father does provide here and there (albeit rarely being home) Jughead manages.
He always manages.
The internet that runs throughout Sunnyside is a shared connection routing through one main trailer where a guy manages to get illegal access to. It’s not the fastest or the best as every trailer uses the line, but it works fine for him when he’s nestles in bed at night. Being a night owl had its perks, no one was awake when he was, which meant that the internet was free of all the traffic that usually slows it down during the day.
Midnight arrives like any other night. There’s a distant crack in the air, fireworks most likely.
“Merry Christmas, jo—y” he mutters to himself after securing a large bite of brownie in his mouth. It’s dark in his room during Christmas, but the darkness fades away as his phone lights up with 5 back to back messages from Betty. It doesn’t take much guessing to wonder what she’s sent.
A greeting of course, and a million colorful emoji.
Jug!
Merry
Christmas
!
followed by a plethora of green Christmas trees and pink hearts (oddly enough) a few reindeer, presents, bows and confetti. All which she flawlessly executes with the dramatic background effect on the messaging app which lights up with animated fireworks.
“Geez, Betty. An enigma you are.” He reckons out loud before replying with his own simple greeting.
Merry Christmas, Betty. followed by a plain thumbs up.
Exactly two years later, 2016 Jughead Jones would have actually laughed in the face of his present self when told that he was in a romantic relationship. A romantic relationship with a girl, not a stranger, but Elizabeth Cooper.
Jughead was sure that love wasn’t for him. Love and affection had screwed him over since the day he was conceived. His father, FP Jones was a recovering alcoholic now, but he he used to be a poor father. A gang leader, drug dealer with major issues. Gladys Jones— his mother, who knows where the hell she’d fucked off to. She claims to be in Toledo with his grandparents and younger sister Jellybean, but who knows really.
Life had gotten complex during the summer of 2017. A local golden boy had been murdered and the mystery of who did it had somehow brought Betty and himself closer together, so close in fact that Jughead realized that his feelings for her were much farther from friendly.
They had their ups and downs as any couple does. At some point he was sure that they just couldn’t work out. It was as if the universe and his cursed destiny tried to pry him from anything good in his life, but he should have known Betty.
Boy, should he have, especially when dealing with Betty and her world famous stubbornness.
Her fight and reassurance kicks him in the face, planting firmly the idea that he controls his own path and destiny. So, ever since their last breakup back during Halloween, things have been well for the young couple. So well in fact that he was sure he was permanently high.
High off Betty Cooper.
A delicious high, one which he couldn’t get enough of. Her scent, her skin, eyes nose and lips, every bit of Betty was a craving that he woke up to every morning. Jughead was still somewhat shy and awkward around her, that was who he was in personality. He wasn’t some stud who walked around oozing sex appeal and constantly grabbing his girlfriends ass while out in public. Far from it.
Behind closed doors and in the comfort of certain places, both teens found solace in each other’s arms. A comfort and warm that could brave anything the outside world brought to them. No attempt at joining his father's ex-gang could break them. Alice Cooper’s demands to leave FP’s son in Southside went on deaf ears.
Jughead muttered words of love to Betty.
“I love you...I love you.”
She’d watched in surprise at his confession, one which filled her with so much joy that she found the words to mutter them back with tears looking at her jade eyes as she inched closer with a heart crushing smile on her face.
“Jughead Jones, I love you.”
Betty was a part of him then and an even more important one now.
The warm scent of coconut wafts up his nostrils. It’s Christmas again, and this year Betty is spending it with him in the dinky trailer. It’s cold inside and neither teen have bothered to separate from each other to run out and grab the portable heater that Betty had brought along.
Betty’s lips are on his, working through a wet frenzy that makes his stomach clench in need. Their kiss is sloppy to say the least. Long have the brownies been forgotten. The fresh sweets where the reason as to why she was with him in the first place, having begged Alice to let her take the car to drop them off. Even though it was midnight now, Betty had perfectly mapped out when to ask and leave the house.
“Mm—Betty, your mom—“  Jughead muttered between kisses.
“—is asleep” she replied around a mouthful full of tongue. Feverish kisses filled the air of the cramped trailer, their mouths digging deeper into one another. Betty whimpered at the feel of Jughead’s tongue curling against her own, her hands coming down to keep her steady against the edges of the couch.
“You sure?”
“Positive, now shut up and kiss me.” She smiled into his lips. The blue eyed boy eyes crinkled in response, a mischievous smile creeping tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“If you say so.” He finished before attacking her moist lips once more. Teeth came in contact and wet sounds filled the air. The short gasps of air warmed up their faces as they continued to kiss until Betty was resting her back against the worn out cushions of the couch.
This Christmas was already starting off with a literal bang and Jughead had never been so excited for any holiday in his life.
Nimble fingers slip into midnight curls, tugging Jughead closer into her mouth. The same fingers feel good against his scalp which send a delicious sensation down his spine and across his entire body. He’s positioned himself above the blonde, making sure not to crush her by hoisting his body up by one knee in between her legs while the other hangs off the couch. Betty’s legs however, are a different story. The couch was far too small and they were both too tall. One of Betty’s legs is propped up against the headrest of the couch while the other struggles to stay curled around his hanging leg. Gravity doesn’t help and her leg is constantly dragging down before she hoists it back up into place.
Betty notes the taste on his lips and tongue, it’s sweet from the brownies and strong from the coffee he’d downed earlier. The taste is delicious and she can’t get enough and makes sure to let it be known when she curls her tongue against his own, sucking on it lightly. The action causes the deep rumble of his moan to rip through the deepest reaches of his body. It strikes her as super sexy and she moans back.
Jughead latches onto her bottom lip, knipping it softly before plucking it. Her cherry lips are engorged and plump, screaming in a lovely tint that only beckons him to return. Her chest is heaving and his hand reaches out to lift the peach colored top from her body. The tiniest brush against her skin burns him and suddenly the room is no longer freezing, but scalding hot.
Sucking in a ragged breath, Betty manages to lift the top half of her body and arms to remove her sweater, leaving her in a flower patterned lace bra. The laptop screen is still bright in front of them. Home Alone is playing in the background and the hotel scene manages to accentuate the lighting around Betty.
Jughead swallows at the mere sight of Betty’s glowing honey eyes under the effect of the screen. A sheen of gloss on her lips blinds him and he wants nothing more than to kiss her again.
He’s about to lean down when she stops with him with a warm hand on his chest.
Her usually alert eyes are blown wide and lust envelops the usually sweet girl. Her bottom lip is caught between her teeth and Jughead feels his mouth go dry.
Betty is stunning.
The swell of her breasts calls to him and he can’t get close. The periwinkle tinted bra is tight against her skin and he wonders if he can free her from it soon. Betty, however has other plans. She shoots him a shy look and avoids eye contact and she wiggles out of her skirt.
“Betty?” He whispers. Why? He doesn’t know. It’s not like there’s someone else in the trailer.
When the fabric reaches her knees, Jughead takes it as a signal to move back and give her space to watch her as she lifts her long legs in the air to dispose of the wine colored skirt.
It’s a sight, and wonderful one at that. Long creamy legs, supple thighs and matching set of underwear greet him and blue eyes watch intently as Betty bends both knees in front of her stomach. Her pink sneakers dangle in front if him as her arms reach for her knees, hugging them close to her chest. A teasing smile causes his boxers to feel tighter. Blood pumps down south and Jughead groans. The only time that he chooses to wear boxers briefs too. The strain is stifling and he feels the urge to get naked then and there.
“Betts…” He sighs in desperation. He doesn’t know why she’s huddled up or why she’s smiling at him him like that, but damn does she looks good enough to eat.
“Jug…” she copies. Her hands move from cupping her knees to roaming down her legs all while keeping her knees close. It’s a movement that baby blue eyes never stray away from.
Jughead’s eyes widen slightly, urging her on. “Yeah?”
Suddenly she’s nervous, very nervous. There’s something that she’s been wanting for a few days now, a repeat of what they first tried a week prior. An experiment that involved Jughead’s mouth. It’s hunted her, the thought and memories combined with feelings causing arousal to pool in between her legs.
She can’t help wanting to stop their act to get a dose of his mouth on her nether region, but the need is incredibly strong and her panties only become wetter by the second.
“I want you...here.” Her legs part slightly, allowing enough space for her arm to budge through her thigh to cover her sex through her underwear. Betty gulps in anticipation, wondering if Jughead will say no and if she’s ruined the moment with her request.
Their sexual history was tame, wild missionary sex with the occasional ass in the air for Betty as Jughead pounds at her from behind. Sex was new, and they’d only been experimenting for a few weeks, so introducing something new was always nerve wracking. Betty remembers how shy he’d been when she had stuffed her hand into his jeans two nights after their loss of virginity. A day after that Jughead rubbed her into an orgasm over her panties while waiting for school to start. Even then, they’d both fumbled during the entire process. A series of apologies littered the entire thing consummation.
They were wet behind the ears, yes, but that didn’t stop two hormonal teenagers from lusting after each other. Two weeks prior, Jughead managed to gather his thoughts and went down on Betty for the first time, earning him a wet nose and chin with a thigh crushing orgasm against his head from Betty all while doing it on her childhood bed. It must have been good enough to want her to ask for seconds, because his heart has leapt at her sudden request.
“Oh.” He said lightly.
Noticing his response not being as enthusiastic as she’d imagined it be, Betty’s legs slowly drop back down, embarrassment engulfing her. Again, her heart quickens and a dull ring is the only thing that she can properly register. Quickly, she moves to sit up, green eyes avoiding his. The shame in her face is obvious and Betty feels stupid for ruining the moment.
Why couldn’t she have just let nature take its course without having to interrupt it for her own selfish needs?
“You know, never mind.” A nervous laugh escapes her and Betty is moving to sit up but Jughead stops her. The boy moves in closer to her, and her legs are nudged apart. Her heart slams against her chest and Betty is blinking up at Jughead in surprise.
“It’s okay, Betty. I’ll do it...you don’t have to ask.” He adds shyly. His eyes wander to hers, locking together that it becomes hard to look away.
It was surprising that she’s asked him to repeat the act. The first time was sloppy and not how he’d imagine it to be, but he had managed to make her come and since it was never brought up again until now, Jughead had guessed she didn’t like it.
But now, his member was growing stiffer against his boxers the longer that he thought about tasting Betty again.
“Oh, I just…” her green eyes also wander off with an equally awkward look on her face, but  her focus moves to his pajama pants where a bulge was beginning to form. The red in her cheeks is adorable and Jughead suddenly leans down to kiss her, catching her off guard. Betty gasps into the kiss, opening her mouth wider for Jughead’s tongue to invade every inch. The kiss gets heated, and Jughead body pushes down against her own, making Betty lay down once again.
As they kiss, Jughead inhales deeply, enjoying the mewls that escaped Betty when taking her leg to prop back up against the headrest. His hand trails down from her knee, down the smooth skin of her inner thigh.
The continue to kiss with Betty breaking contact to shuffle closer down towards his knee, spreading her legs even wider in the process by hooking an arm under her other leg. Kisses are placed against his jaw and down the exposed skin of his neck. It’s only when her nose nuzzles his sweater does he realize that he’s still fully clothed.
Jughead shrugs off the material in a hurry, his hair becoming a mess of curls jutting in every direction, a look which makes Betty bite at the corner of her bottom lip.
He looks delicious.
Shirtless, with wild hair and a trail of dark hair that disappears into his pajama pants. Jughead makes Betty’s clit throb in need, so much so that her hand leaves her leg to cup her center instead. The fabric is moist to the touch and Betty gasps at how sensitive she feels at the simplest of pressure.
“Juggie…”
Jughead’s stormy eyes shine black under the light of the laptop screen, the shadows cast complex shadows on Jughead’s body which cause Betty to lick at her lips when trailing her eyes down his exposed chest and hips. The black band of his boxers pokes through the blue hues of the plaid pattern of his bottoms. The dip in his hips is sharp and balances out the smooth taut skin of his abdomen while his arms fill out with a strong bulk of muscle that works for his body type: not too much but enough to make her mouth water.
“Lay back Betty.”
And she does, head coming in contact with the wood skeleton of the ancient armrest. The butterflies in her stomach suddenly burst into a flurry of excitement that make her suck in a breath of anticipation. Both of her hands come to lay on her stomach, her chest rising and falling at an alarming rate.
“I’m gonna go down on you, okay?” It's not until Jughead moves slightly that Betty ss able to see how deep his eyes have darkened, the pupils of his eyes gone pitch black with a single ring of blue circling the iris. The look alone cause her walls to pulse on their own and Betty nods.
“Okay.”
The movie is long forgotten and the brownies are as cold by then. Jughead finds a spot on his stomach to lay on, its cramped on the couch. It’s one of the time where he wishes he could move them to the bed, but all that walking would ruin some of the mood.
When he’s nestled in front Betty’s spread legs, her arousal become more evident. There’s a dark patch on her panties and the fabric sticks to her folds like a second skin.
“Jug…”
He glances up at Betty, who’d eventually moved up a bit to give him space. Her blonde head now rests on the armrest, one leg still up on the head rest while the other is dangled off his couch. Betty’s green eyes were dark and glazed over in need, both her hands fisted at her hips.
“Sorry, babe.” Her arousal was strong, enticing and doing things to him. Jughead’s hand move to hover above her panty before hooking a finger right over the soaked spot to push the material to the side, exposing Betty to the cool air. She shudders at the exposure and shifts slightly. It’s still somewhat embarrassing to be so exposed, but Jughead boosts a confidence in her that she was sure she didn’t have before and she loves it.
Gulping at the sight, Jughead inches closer to Betty, the elegant slit, moist and beckoning for attention.
“You know, somehow this is better than those brownies.” He muses, smirking.
Betty’s cheeks flame up at the comment and her legs move to close before he’s reaching up to push them apart.
She’s embarrassed and rightfully so, they both have yet to stare openly at each other so intimately.
“Please” She whispers. “I want this.” Betty whines and bucks her hips, rolling them in want. The blonde patch of hair above her pink folds is always a sight to behold. It’s cute and suits her and while he didn’t understand her need to trim, Jughead decides that it is very Betty like to have and quite frankly, he doesn’t care how she looks like down there.
His fingers brush over the tougher hair, tugging at it slightly before running them down her moist lips. And in one swoop, his face is burying down on to her warm core.
Nose deep, Jughead sucks in the air around him, slowing down to breath while indulging in Betty. A shudder rips through her body and she shakes beneath him with a moan so loud that it alarms even herself. Immediately, her hands reach to grab onto anything. And Betty finds her nails digging into the back of the armrest and the cushion beneath her. Her body arches, hips rolling into her boyfriends mouth while her body twists in pleasure. The shaking never stops and Betty knows she isn’t cold.
“Ah—“ she cries out. Jughead closes his eyes, his tongue rolling up and down Betty’s folds, making sure to stop on her clit to rub circles on the bundle of nerves. She’s shaking and he smirks into her skin.
Her body hasn’t been stimulated like that, with a ravenous mouth. As it stands, the young couple are novices who only have missionary (for the most part.) sex. So, having Jughead delicately grind his soft tongue against her aching clit sends her over the moon and Betty finds that her body won’t stop shaking from excitement.
The taste is something he can’t describe. It’s unlike anything he’s tasted before, but he likes it. It’s Betty and he’s causing her to release her juices. A boost of confidence washes over him and his mouth continues to work harder. Jughead’s dark head swivels against Betty, and she blushes when she catches a glimpse of his work.
Up, down, side to side, his tongue laps through pink folds. He even comes in contact with her entrance, teasing it with a few light probes which cause her to gasp and scramble to sit up on her elbows. He’s doing something right and he continues to pleasure Betty even more.
“Ooh, like that, Juggie...oh.” Betty moans, watching Jughead’s dark head go to work on her. The view is intoxicating and it’s hard to register that the act is happening to her. The sight is in fact her underwear, her patch of blonde, all which bluntly remind her that Jughead Jones is buried nose deep in her pussy.
She tosses her head back in ecstasy the moment the sucking on her engorged clit becomes too much. The pleasure is tingling and her body is on fire. Betty’s blonde tresses have long been let loose and she runs her fingers through her hair, gripping at the scalp to control the moans that she’s too embarrassed to release and Jughead takes notice.
The sucking become quicker, matching his beating heart, a rapid motion that causes Betty to gasp loudly. Her green eyes snap down to stare at him in awe, pink lips parted. Tiny moans and ‘yes, yes’ invade his body urging him on.
The sucking become sloppy, and Jughead returns to licking her wildly while Betty grinds her sex against his mouth. Her cries are starting to become louder, the filter slowly disappearing.
“That’s it, no need to hold it in.” He pauses to urge her on. He wants to hear Betty, he wants to hear and see how badly she wants him. The strain in his boxers is unbearable and at some point Jughead finds his own hips grinding into the corners of the cushion to release some friction. The gyration against his hips against the cushion only urges him on and before both know it, his mouth back on Betty. Jughead’s hunger is amplified by the use of his tongue on Betty.
“Oh fuck—“ the sob that tears through the living room makes Jughead stop his actions. The sight of Betty riding through her orgasm is indescribable. Like an flower bud finally unraveling and blossoming, Betty is a literal description of the act. Betty gasps, her breath hitching as her body shakes and her hips snap in front of him three times. Tiny grunts explode from her shaking body and the sounds make Jughead shudder.
The scene is erotic and beautiful, better than any scene in any movie.
“Wow.” Breaths Jughead after she’s landed back down. The shaking has minimized but her thighs still twitch against the sides of his arms. Betty pushes up against the corner of the couch with a finger trapped in her teeth. Her blonde locks are a mess and cover her eyes but to Jughead, it as the sexiest thing he’s ever witnessed.
The tired smile that Betty manages blows the air right out of him.
“God, Betty. That was...stunning.” He breathes, leaning over to her and brushing the golden strands away from her face.
“Mm, you’re so good at that, Jug.” She croaks, her voice light as she struggled to catch her breath. Somehow, Betty finds the will to smirk seductively at him. Jughead groans. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
Again, all Betty can manage to do is groan and tug him down for a kiss.
“I love you, Juggie. I love you so much.” Her declaration make his heart swell, as well as his cock. He’s sure that she’s sucking on his lower lip to taste herself, and it’s made more obvious when she laps at the bottom of his lip.
“Thank you.” She’s still shaking and her stomach continues to jerk against her will and Jughead notices when his hand brushes her navel.
And Betty can taste herself, she can also smell herself which makes her stomach coil in need. She has had a mind blowing orgasm, and she wanted more. But she was sure that she couldn’t  go through another one so soon, but she finds Jughead’s hand and leads his fingers to her sensitive folds.
“You did that.” Betty whispers hotly against his ears.
Jughead sucks in a breath and nods, his voice lowering. “I did…”
“Mm.”
The silent foreplay continues and Jughead doesn’t move from his position right above Betty. He continues to rub lazily along her even slicker folds which cause her to gasp and buck her hips. Jughead loves the result that he’s caused. When he comes in contact with her swollen clit, Betty jerks and immediately grabs him by the wrists and shoots him a shy look.
“I don’t think I can do another one just yet.” Biting her lip, Betty blinks up at him and Jughead nods, leaning down to kiss her forehead.
Jughead freezes, silently cursing for kissing her there right after where he’s mouth has been.  Betty seems to notice and giggles.
“It’s okay, Jug. I’ll take a shower as soon as I get home...which I should be doing right about--“ when reaching for her phone on the coffee table, the blonde just about shoots up a foot high.
“Ohmygod.”
“Ohmygod, Jug. I gotta go! My mom's going to kill me!” Like a hurricane, Betty sprints from the couch only stopping to fix her underwear before she’s slipping the crumpled skirt back over her legs and Jughead frowns.
Really?
As confused as he is, he still manages to move out of her way. What time was it anyway? She’s been over for what? Two hours? Also, Betty had been positive that her mother would be knocked out by now.
“Betty, I’m sure your mom won’t notice—“  Betty interrupts him as soon as he starts by shoving her phone in his face. It’s 3:24 am and there are three missed calls and a text: all from ‘Momster’
“Oh shit. Betty.” Jughead’s eyes had gone wide and he moves to help her move along. He guesses that he can live with blue balls than face the wrath of Alice Cooper. After all, he can always get access to Betty when he wants to and if he asks nicely. But for now, he’s helping her by throwing the red scarf over her shoulder and wrapping it as best as he can while she retires her hair.
“She’s going to murder me. When did it become 3?” The panic is evident and he feels bad for her. If he could, he would show up to doorstep and take the verbal beating instead.
“Better yet, why is she still up?” Jughead muses. Betty stops and wonders, but shakes her head after a moment. Time was precious and Alice Cooper did not wait. Taking her bag from the single seat, she leans in and plants a kiss on his lips. “I’m sorry I couldn’t...help you out.”
Both teens move to look at his crotch and Jughead coughs. Turning at an angle to avoid the attention that his erection was receiving. It's not as bad as it was earlier, all the Alice talk ruining the mood in the end.
“It’s fine. No need to worry about me, Betts.”
Betty shoots him a sad smile, she really does feel bad. She wanted more but they had no time. So instead she makes a promise. Jughead blinks when Betty steps closer, her warm breath, ghosting over his ear.
“I’ll make it up to you. Think of it as part two to your present?” His body shudders with excitement at the thought. His body also freezes at the hand that squeezes at his cock through the thin material of his pajama bottoms.
“Be—“
Betty Cooper winks and waves before she’s out the door and running towards the station wagon parked in front of the trailer. Jughead stands there for a split second before rushing to the door, watching as the head beams light up the makeshift driveway and as Betty pulls out. She manages a wave through the window and he returns it. The station wagon peels out of Sunnyside Park, driving off into the distance.
Once she’s gone, Jughead takes a quick shower and drops into the bed in a heap of sexual frustration. He’d tried to help himself out under the cool water that the trailer managed to pump out, but he didn’t get far. A hand did not compare to Betty’s hands and lips. He can’t help the lingering arousal but the night had been fun and it turned out different than what he expected. It’s a Christmas completely different to the previous ones before and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
When he’s nestled into the warm sheets, his phone lights up.
A message from Betty.
Netflix and Chill? My house 6:40 sharp. Parents are visiting Polly.
He snorts at the term, the same term which he now remembers caused Betty to make the stinkiest face he’s ever seen. It’s not something he’d like back then, but he’s suddenly very grateful for Archie talking so much about the app that it somehow brought Betty and Jughead together for Christmas.
And besides, it’s not like they’ll be watching anything. There has to be something to distract them to set the mood. Who really watches a movie when they have a significant other anymore?
Netflix and Chill? You bet.
The phone clicks as it’s turned off and Jughead grins in the darkness, excited for the next couple of hours.
—-
merry chrystler, murry curr’mas!!
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littlemisssquiggles · 8 years ago
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RWBY Musings #8: Ah yes, RWBY Volume 5 Chapter 5. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, this episode just reminded me once more exactly why I’m fully on board with Ruby and Oscar sharing a close relationship.
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I’m gonna drop some blunt honesty right now so take it however you see fit (but hopefully not in a negative light). Regardless of whether you dislike RoseGarden for whatever justifiable reason you may have, you cannot deny the fact that the series itself is clearly pushing those two together. This fifth episode of the season brought more evidence that Ruby and Oscar will have a close relationship. 
Will be it purely platonic? Will it be inevitably romantic? Who really knows? But what I can say is that Ruby’s character and overarching presence in Oscar’s life will definitely play a role in his development as a main character and the same can be said vice versa for him with her.
(You know I’m here to talk, so let’s talk. I’ll try to keep it short today. Emphasis on ‘try’)
As much as I love RoseGarden as a ship and would love more than any shipper to see them be endgame, I could admit that I don’t think romance is quite in the cards for these two. 
At least, not yet. I’d like to believe that Ruby and Oscar are both in a very complicated place right now where, with the fate of the world on the line and with them both being key players in the fight to save it; I just don’t see romance being a primary focus.
I mean there’ll be seeds of it sprinkled here and there throughout the show in smaller, more intimate moments (like the dojo scene from Chapter 5) but not at the forefront; unless the series calls for it.
I wouldn’t be surprised if their relationship will be like Katara and Aang’s from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Light and fluffy during the first season to establish a friendship and then introduce the romance aspects in the following volume. I could definitely see Ruby and Oscar being and treating each other as ‘just friends’, even close friends in this first volume. And then bit by bit, introduce the sparks of romance here and there where they both begin to see each other in a different light than before.
Either isn’t quite sure what this new foreign feeling means but what they do know is that it’s certainly more than how it was before. They both will fully understand that they definitely like each other while at the same time also knowing that it’s beyond friendship. They will know that their friendship is a close and strong one: that they’re each special to each other but they wouldn’t quite fully understand the full deeper meaning of that connection until later.
 And then we, as the viewers, will get to watch them figure it out for themselves and see that journey of feelings persist. Like Ruby will know that she likes Oscar a lot however her liking of Oscar is different than how she likes Jaune and Ren.
I love my ships but I’m a sucker for a slow romance especially when it’s done right and even more specifically, when it actually leads somewhere.
Like I said, as the series progresses and Oscar and Ruby’s blossoming friendships progresses, we’ll probably get more and more moments of their obvious fascination in wanting to know more about each other. At first, I figured that most of the interest would’ve come from Oscar (especially after that first moment in Chapter 1). However, what I find surprisingly cool is that Ruby herself also shares the same intrigue in Oscar. I really love how both teens are interested in wanting to know more about the other.
This is what makes it quite sweet to watch them interact in the show. This is the innocence and purity that I expected the RoseGarden ship to be like in the beginning. Heck, it’s why I sometimes refer to them as RosePine instead cause in my eyes, their relationship has only just began. It has only been just a few episodes in and a few weeks of time passed in the show.
RoseGarden has yet to become a garden. The seeds have been planted though. It’s just a matter of waiting patiently to watch them grow and see exactly how their relationship flourishes.
 I know I mostly talk a lot of ship talk in my musings but at the heart of it all, I sincerely want to see these two grow and have a meaningful bond.
I like ships that actually take the time to build the love between two characters so that when it finally comes to fruition, you’ll appreciate it a lot more. I see the potential for that with Ruby and Oscar. I mentioned earlier how the shows seems to be pushing these two together a lot especially in recent episodes.
At first I figured, like many, it’s probably for shipping purposes. But then I sat down and thought about it some more. Now I think that it makes sense. It’s absolutely rational why Oscar and Ruby would naturally gravitate towards each other. They do share a lot more in common than even they realize and I think part of it has to do with the age difference.
 Y’know the two year age gap that some folks make a hullaballoo about.
I can definitely seen Ruby and Oscar leaning on each other the most cause, for the first time, they’re not alone. They both have someone on the team who is around the same age as them and is going through the same thing as them and can actually help them to understand the true meaning of everything---the importance of protecting Remnant and stopping Salem.
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I am SO glad that I was right about Ruby being the one to have that conversation with Oscar. I was hoping it was her and I’m glad we got it, especially in this episode too. That part was icing on the cake with this episode for me.
Also terrific acting from Aaron is showcasing Oscar’s frustration. I truly felt it for my avocado godson this episode.
Being the youngest in anything (in your class, group, squad, etc), I’d imagine it would be an uneasy thing because on top of all the dire responsibilities that you have to share with your fellow more experienced peers, there is also the pressures of the expectation that others will have of you especially because of your age. I’d imagine that in the beginning, because she was so young, others have probably misjudged Ruby. As a matter of fact, I remember them addressing that point at least twice in the series between Volumes 1 and 2.
 I think this is why we often see Ruby being the one to mostly check in on Oscar over anyone else. Sure it could be interpreted at being more shipping fuel; however I’d like to think that Ruby is the only one who fully understands what Oscar is going through and genuinely wants to help him through this transition.
 My RoseGarden shippers might not like me for saying this but the way Ruby is with Oscar now is more like a big sister or at least a senpai. She’s definitely looking out for our avocado farm son; the same way how everyone: Qrow, Jaune, Ren, Nora and even her sister and teammates she hasn’t seen in so long used to look out for her.
 She cares about Oscar cause honestly, she gets it. She gets his frustration and I loved how Oscar breaking down finally forced Ruby to snap out of her indifference and be honest with him about her sadness; especially the one regarding the lost of two of her friends. I wish we have gotten an extended scene of this. I need a longer scene or moment with Ruby and Oscar just being honest with each other about their feelings; their various nuisances with the world, their pains, EVERYTHING. Not only cause it’ll be good for them both but...because they’ll get why the other feels that way.
 This makes me appreciate the two year age gap more. I know folks hate it but frankly I like it cause it’s reminiscent of Ruby. The 2 year age gap between Oscar and Ruby is parallel to the 2 year gap between Ruby and every other main huntsmen and huntress in her year. Ruby was once the proclaimed ‘baby of the bunch’ and now that torch has been passed down to Oscar.
Oscar is now the youngest huntsmen in training in the group and unfortunately, his development has to be fast-forwarded too because he’s also acting as a conduit for Ozpin’s soul. So he has his own fair share of pressures and qualms put on him despite being too young to fully understand them.
 I also figured Oscar being inexperienced in fighting might’ve been a thing but as it turns out, he actually has fought before. I found that little titbit about Oscar having fought Grimm before quite cool.
Although, Oscar said he’s only fought the ‘occasional small Grimm’. Correct me if I’m wrong but aren’t the smallest Grimm species we’ve seen so far in Remnant not the Beowolf and Ursa Grimm? They are the most commonly seen Grimm in the show and the ones more likely to show up in areas of the public. So unless there is a smaller Grimm species native to Mistrel (like perhaps a flying monkey Grimm, ey?) then those are two Grimm I can see probably sneaking onto Oscar’s aunt’s farm.
 Either way, if those are the occasional small Grimm Oscar is referring to then how badass is he! Can you imagine small young Oscar protecting his aunt and their home; fending off a single Ursa Grimm that had snuck onto the farm with nothing but a pitchfork by himself, mostly? The fact that Oscar has not only fought Grimm before but has survived it, that just confirms what Ruby said to him in the end. He is indeed a lot braver than one expected him to be; and a lot tougher.
Damn! I have now gained a higher respect for Oscar. I honestly thought that coming from a farmhand way of life pegged him as living the quite simple life, outside the dangers of the Grimm.
 So instinctively I would assume he’d be inexperienced to the stuff natural to the huntsmen such as battling the Grimm. But I was wrong.
 This actually reminds me of a funny scene from Doctor Strange. It’s the one where Morro hands Strange a piece of paper after showing him to his room. Strange looks at him all puzzled, questioning Morro if the paper was some ancient Chinese mantra; to which Morro looks at him and responds with one of most memorable lines from the movie for me.
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‘...It’s the WiFi password. We’re not savages!’
This joke is appropriate cause just as how Dr. Strange misjudged the sorcerers, I, too misjudged Oscar. Just cause he was raised on a farm, doesn’t mean he’s not affected by the threats that commonly inhabit Remnant. Just cause Oscar was raised on a farm and has never encountered huntsmen and huntresses, doesn’t mean he’s oblivious about the Grimm. As a matter of fact, the fact that Oscar has faced more Grimm than huntsmen is daunting.
This tells me that there are probably no actual huntsmen where Oscar is from and that’s even more unnerving.
I totally pegged him wrong from the start. They really do say don’t judge a book by its cover cause there are certainly more layers to Oscar than I figured. And apparently he knows more about combat than he gives off and I like this additional note to his character. Nice touch CRWBY!
 Anyways, overall I like the idea of them pushing Ruby and Oscar together cause, it just makes sense guys. No matter what angle the CRWBY decides to take them, it’ll surprisingly work either way in some shape or form.
 If they decide to go the purely platonic, big sister/little brother, kouhai to senpai kind of route, it fits cause Ruby haven gone through the same things Oscar is going through currently would be the best candidate to help him through it all; (especially emotionally) more so than anyone else in series. More than Jaune and even Ozpin because Ruby is basically Oscar at the start of the series. So it would make sense if they form a friendship like this because of that familiarity and understanding. It’s one where they can both benefit from as they can both learn from one another and help each other grow. You heard of Jambuds from Steven Universe, now get ready for RoseBuds.
(I kinda like that name. ROSEBUDS is the platonic friend-SHIP between Ruby and Oscar while RoseGarden is the romance ship. Make it a think fandom)
If they decide to go the still purely platonic but very close best friend route, it fits. If a Ruby and Oscar friendship is allowed to happen then it would only be fitting that it becomes a close one. Oscar could become Ruby’s closest guy friend or even her best friend over all. Sorry Jaune. Sorry Weiss. I know Weiss is who Ruby considers to be her, and I quote, ‘super bestie better than the restie’ according to RWBY Chibi. And I know some fans consider Jaune-y boy to be Ruby’s best guy friend. But...that could be Oscar too someday.  
And if they decide to go the full on romance route, do I need to even explain this one? Cause I think points number one and two also justify why this would work. I will note however that I don’t see it working now cause the relationship is still fairly new to both characters and there’s still some cute awkwardness between them both.
However..if left to cultivate with the right amount of development, I can certainly see this growing into a meaningful love for both characters (but only once they’ve matured to the age where those kinds of feelings would be more appropriate). Somehow I can only see Oscar and Ruby falling in love with each other as they grow older or at least after a longer period time, like at least after a year.
Overall, either way, RoseGarden just...makes sense you guys! It really does and I’m not even just saying this as a shipper. It just MAKES SENSE. Better yet, it makes FUCKING SENSE and it’s almost mind boggling how much sense it makes.
Hate on the ship as much as you want haters. You are entitled to like whatever ship you like and from one shipper to another, I respect that. However you can’t look me in the eyes and tell me that Ruby and Oscar growing close in some way makes no sense at all.
From now on, if anyone asks me why I like RosePine (RoseGarden), I’m just gonna tell them this:
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(Not even trying to be arrogant right now. It just DOES!)     
LittleMissSquiggles (2017) 
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Fives and Dogma are still alive, but have to live in hiding. They need to face their own demons when it comes to understanding what defines them as soldiers, clones, and human beings. When another friend joins them, they may get closer to this understanding for once. AO3 chapter on the link and full chapter below the cut.
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The tides are high today. The ruins facing the ocean are long forgotten by the locals – noting to see but worn-out walls guarding a moss-covered house that nobody ever had become interested in. It was too far off, away from the capital city and with a far too difficult access. The terrain was unstable, and a speeder or an actual military walker might be needed to climb the steep way. Not even the troublesome teens would bother try getting there, for it was too much trouble just to spray some graffiti over an old building.
Nobody knows, however, that the place is actually inhabited. The roughed up exterior hides a home that smells like freshly-baked bread and wildflowers (a bush full of them grows near the vegetables being grown in the backyard) and the walls are painted teal-green. The decoration is simple and leaves no clue of what kind of people live there aside from the bes'bev leaning on a wall and the password-locked datapad on the small dinner table. There are three chairs placed around the table, but one of them is covered pants and shirts of the same black uniform while only the remaining two seem to be in use.
The backyard’s wall close to the meiloorun trees has an old, rusty target hanging there, blaster burns so deep on its center the next shot might just pierce the thing through. And much ahead on the deck against which the tides are crashing, there is a man looking over to the sea. The man has a large scar on his temple and its pinkish, lighter skin different from his darker tan, and his brown eyes are lost in the waves’ movement. The waves go back and forth, back and forth. Crashing against the deck. Crashing. Spraying. Exploding. Like that explosion back in…
He shakes his head. No. Remembering never did him any good.
He thinks about maybe shooting a little on the target. He misses the action, misses shooting. Then he thinks about maybe watching one of those holo-vids for the billionth time. The mere thought makes him scrunch his nose in annoyance. He can always play a holotable game. He snickers, remembering back in the day when he was just a kid and he’d be awake late at night playing with…
No, please. I don’t wanna think about him. Not today.
The man is dressed in plain black clothes, but there is a piece of what looks like a white armor on his right arm. The armor is dented, scratched and clearly has been through a lot in its lifetime. Something that he hasn’t seen in years happens: the light on the blue panel close to his wrist lights up, and a sound like static comes through it.
The man jumps upright, and he who seemed like an farmer who’d never left his fuit trees’ side in his life suddenly has the posture of a soldier. He clears his throat as his eyes examine the comlink, and he whispers tentatively:
“Sir?...”
There is silence. Not a single word, not a single sound but static. The man knits his brows, poking the comlink. Damn old thing must be picking up interference. Of course they  wouldn’t call him. There’s no reason they would. The man runs his hands through his black hair, which has grown long and untamed as his goatee that now is a full beard like one of the Generals he’d served under. He has tried tying his hair up in a bun but then he saw himself in the bathroom mirror he almost screamed at the resemblance he’d share with his younger brother. That day, he’d punched the mirror until his knuckles were bloody and the glass was ground to bits. He hates mirrors now.
The man had a name before, when his brothers were still alive and his life seemed to have meaning, to have purpose. He was part of something big, something meaningful. He had a family, countless brothers who shared his face and his genetic code.
Before all this, the man’s name was Fives. And whatever this story turns out to be, it feels like an epilogue of a badly-written story.
Another man walks out of the house up to Fives. He had the same face and wore the same black clothes, the same arm guard only on his right arm just like him. His face was scarred like Fives’, but not on his temple - lighter spots dusted over his face like freckles on a large V-shape, as if deliberate laser shots had been used to erase what before had been a tattoo. The man had been the first clone to ever come to live in this planet, in this house. He tugged on the cuffs of his shirt to then walk to Fives’ side, looking at the crashing waves.
“Made some bread.” he said “Milk’s almost gone, we gotta milk the bantha.”
Fives hummed in response, and he kept watching the waves. Fives had been living together with him in hiding for the past six months, and the other man had been living there a year prior to that, and yet, they didn’t talk much. It was hard getting the Fives to talk. He’d most unexpectedly turn aggressive, never physically violent but he would scream and curse, he would slam doors, he would empty his blaster on the target outside and sometimes he would just scream at the ocean as if he cursed it.
“Will do. Can I ask you a question…” he drew in a breath, turning to the other man “…Dogma?”
Dogma nodded. He was averse to talking too. In fact, his voice would be raspy whenever Fives would hear it. Dogma would spend most of his days playing his bes'bev and baking – he used to be terrible at first, but grew very good at cooking. Unlike Fives, he kept his crew cut and shaved on a regular basis. He needed the order, needed to look proper. He’d lost so much but if he lost the appearance of a soldier, he felt like he might lose his mind too.
Not that he haven’t already, but still.
“What is it?” there it was, his voice raspy as usual
“I think my comlink rang.”
Dogma nodded sharply.
“Mine did too. Coincidence?”
“Hardly.” Fives frowned “He must be trying to reach us.”
“But why would he?”
“No idea. He said he’d never come back. Ordered us to lay low. I have no idea why he’d risk talking to us.”
“Maybe… Maybe things were cleared out.” Dogma said, his eyes slowly moving from one side to the other “Maybe we can go back.”
Fives tried to let out a laugh but it came out as a snarl.
“Go back? Not gonna happen. Look what they did to us.”
Fives turned his back on Dogma, and Dogma says:
“I got the radio to work. We can get some transmissions from the local outpost, stay sharp, keep an eye out for any progresses on…”
“We are not listening to shinies talking about whatever boring shit they do on this wasteland.” Fives snapped over his shoulder “We are not getting involved. It’s over, Dogma, we are no longer troopers. Get over it. I did.”
Fives ran his hand over his chest. He could still feel the uneven spot on his sternum where the blaster shot had hit his reinforced plate under the armor. As a last minute resource back at the 99, Kix had given him the untested armored clothing designed by Kix himself, for him to wear under the uniform. It was the only thing that saved his life. Once after Rex got Fox and his men to leave, and asked General Skywalker for time with his fallen brother, he talked in hushed whispers to the soldier who pretended to be dead. As Kix got in the scene, he pulled his best grieving face as he placed Fives on a stretcher carried by droids and he looked at Rex in a silent begging: help me out.
And Rex did. Kix made the “autopsy” on another dead brothers whose temple he’d quickly inked with a number five tattoo, as he’d later scrap off the superficial flesh of Fives’ forehead on the same spot, disfiguring his tattoo. And just like they had done a year prior to that with Dogma, Fives was registered as dead. Details of his file showed him as a victim of the virus-induced paranoia that had killed Tup, shot dead by a trooper trying to protect the Republic. His chest had been badly injured by the close range blaster shot nonetheless, and he would have breathing issues for the rest of his life.
Still, he was alive. That was more than Hardcase, Tup or Echo had ever gotten.
Fives got back into the house and dropped sitting on the couch with a long sigh. Dogma followed him, leaning against the doorframe, his features darkened with the contrast of the sun that poured in from behind him.
“Are you alright?”
“Am I ever?” Fives asked angrily as he rubbed his chest still
“You can’t just accept to be forever stranded in this hellhole, sir.”
“Will you cut out the kriffing “sir” shit already?” Fives’ voice was louder now, angrier still “We are not soldiers anymore, Dogma, we are just two men trying not to die anytime soon even if life sucks, even if every day looks exactly like the one before, even if we should be dead but aren’t, even if everyone we ever cared about-- Shit…”
Fives ran his hand over his face. Dogma just pushed all his fucking buttons, the whole posture gist, the whole protocol crap. He didn’t need any of this shit. He didn’t want it. Dogma stared at him in silence for a full minute before walking inside, picking up his bes'bev and sinking down on the opposite chair, hitting a few notes of the Vode An melody at it. Fives frowned to then abruptly get up and storm out to the backyard once again, slamming the door on his way out. Fuck Dogma. Fuck Dogma and his stupid bes'bev and his stupid formal addressing and his stupid face, Fives’ own goddamned face as well.
He picked up the blaster hanging off a nail on the wall and walked away from the target, taking his aim. He drew in a breath, and his chest felt tight. It hurt. He gritted his teeth, imagining the Rishi Eel that had killed Cutup and he pulled the trigger. Dead on center. He tought of the clanker that had killed Droidbait. Dead on center again. He thought of the clanker in the tank, the one who’d exploded Echo in front of him and he screamed between his clenched teeth, shotting it dead on center again. He kept shooting, and he kept thinking, and he kept screaming. Hardcase. Waxer. All the men killed in Umbara because of Krell. Tup. The ammo was long over but he kept pulling the trigger, the empty clicks echoing in his ears louder than the blaster shots. He dropped the weapon, running his hands over his head and the tightening in his chest seemed to only worsen.
Shit. Shit. Fuck.
“Jareor jetiise!” he snarled, turning to face the ocean where the sunlight glimmerd over the waters “kaminii haar'chak! Shabiir alor!” he spat on the ground “Fuck, fuck! I’m a fucking idiot!”
His breathing was shallow now, ragged in his dry rage. He heard the door creaking open followed by Dogma’s footsteps approaching and fuck no, he was not in the mood to deal with his accepting crap.
“Cursing the Jedi, the Kaminoans and the Chancellor is a good change of pace, but you’re still cursing yourself.”
Fives did not look over his shoulder, but Dogma’s voice was close enough for him to know the brother was right behind him.
“I do not want your self-help crap, Dogma, now will you shut your kriffing mouth for once?!”
“It was not your fault, Fives.”
“I’m telling you to shut up.” Fives’ voice is controlled but has a warning to it
“You need to stop blaming yourself.”
“You are always so quiet, and then there are these days in which you just won’t shut up, will you?”
“Just talk to me. Maybe I can help. Maybe… Maybe you can help me.”
Fives balled his hands into fists.
“This is your last kriffing warning—”
Dogma reached for his shoulder.
“You never told me what really happened to Tup.”
Krack! Fives spun around so fast Dogma couldn’t avoid the solid punch to his jaw, staggering back with a grunt. Fives grabbed Dogma by the front of his blacks, his face twisted in raw anger very close to his.
“Listen to me. Kriffing listen to me.” he repeated as he’d shake Dogma by his collar “We are outcasts, deserters, legally dead. Life is hell as it is, and so help me the stars, it’s not like I don’t think about jumping down to the rocks every single day, but you don’t have to make it even worse. Stay in your lane, Dogma. Just stay in your lane. Play your flute, do your meditation, make your goddamn breads and cakes but leave me the hell alone.”
Before Dogma could answer, the comlink on his wrist beeped, and a voice came through it:
“Doubt, do you copy?”
Rex. He was calling  Dogma’s codename. The only time this happened before was when he announced Fives’ arrival to their hiding spot. Fives let go off Dogma, and he hurryingly pressed the button on his arm piece.
“This is Doubt here.”
A sigh came from the other side.
“I’ve been worried when I tried to reach you earlier and failed, may have had some interference. Is Nine there with you?”
That was Fives’ codename, based on his former numeral name and his deceased sergeant from the Rishi Outpost. Dogma eyed Fives for a second before nodding.
“He’s here, sir.”
“Good.” said Rex “Stay put. I’m on my way there. And, Doubt… tell Nine I’m bringing a friend to see him.”
The transmission was cut, and Dogma looked at Fives still.
“Which ‘friend’ would that be?”
Fives shrugged, lowering his gaze.
“No idea. It’s not like there were many of them still alive.” he scratched the back of his head, exhaling sharply “Kriff. Hey, Dogma, I’m…”
“You’re sorry, I know.” Dogma sighs, turning back to the house “I was out of my place. I’m sorry too, I just… Just wanted to do something for you like you’ve been doing for me so often.”
Dogma had recurring nightmares every other night. Tup used to have them too, would wake up in a cold sweat saying he’d seen himself doing horrible things. Fives had researched – something he’d learn from Echo – through datapads and even asking the Jedi about techniques to keep bad dreams at bay. Even commander Tano, bless her, had gotten him a book on anxiety taken straight from the Jedi library. Thanks to that, he knew a lot of breathing exercises, several techniques to cleanse one’s thoughts and, as General Skywalker had taught him, soothing mantras to steer one’s mind towards a peaceful sleep. These had been specially useful to Dogma as they’d lay in their beds to sleep and he’d writhe and whimper and cry in his sleep and wake up terriefied; Fives would calmly say “your intrusive thoughts are not who you are. Your mind is playing tricks on you. Take hold of reality. You are not what you dream. Breathe.”
Fives shrugged, feeling even more embarrassed now as they walked inside, waiting for their former captain to arrive.
“Maybe I’m beyond help, brother. Just leave it as it is.”
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rei-the-rat · 8 years ago
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Saxophone
Thank you @shishiswordsman for looking this over for me~
read on ao3
Law was, for lack of a better description, kicked out of the hospital. Well, in reality he was told he was working too much again, and that he ought to get the hell out, courtesy of senior doctor Kureha. But it felt like he’d just been kicked out.
He stretched on the way to his car, contemplating what to do with himself. Usually, Penguin and Shachi would drag him off to a bar if they got out early. But his friends were out of town on personal business. So he had the freedom to do as he pleased with his days off. A smile found its way to his face, and he quickened his pace to his car.
His boyfriend would be ecstatic to know he had some time off. It was on short notice, but he doubted Luffy would mind. Once inside his car, Law pulled out his phone. The date and time flashed on the screen with a bright light, illuminating the darkness in his car and momentarily blinding Law. When the glare lessened, Law looked back at his phone and frowned a bit. He had forgotten what day it was, so maybe Kuroha had a point; maybe he had been working too much. A Friday night meant Luffy was at work.
Luffy was a musician who played at a lounge downtown. Once a month he also played at a rather ritzy hotel and occasionally he would volunteer to help out with school musical productions. But Tuesday through Friday he played with his friends at the East Blue jazz lounge.
Law smiled at the thought of Luffy playing his saxophone and then halted as a realization derailed him. He had no idea what a saxophone sounded like.
He was sure he had heard one somewhere before, but he couldn’t pull up a tune or song to place to the instrument. Was he even thinking of the right instrument? What did a saxophone look like again? What did Luffy look like while playing it? Did he stand? Read sheet music? Could he play with his eyes close?
Too many questions with no answers, and Law felt guilty for not knowing. He had been dating Luffy for over a year and not once had he ever heard Luffy practice or asked him to play. Music was important to Luffy just as the medical practice was to him.
Law growled under his breath as he started his car. At least it was an issue easily remedied. He still felt awful about it, but he would apologize to Luffy and make it up to him.
It was a little after ten when Law pulled into the parking lot of the lounge. He grabbed his bag from the back seat before heading inside. The atmosphere of the lounge was calm and quiet. Law could hear the soft murmur of others as he walked through the foyer to the hostess’ podium.
The young woman greeted him with a smile. “Just one? And will you be needing a menu tonight?”
“Ah, yes. And maybe just a drink. I came to listen.”
“That’s fine. We get a lot of college kids this time of year.”
Law almost corrected her but decided to just leave it. Did he really look like a student? With the messenger bag, he suppose he could pass as one. He chuckled to himself at the thought.
She led him across the the dining area and pass the bar on the far wall, only stopping to grab a small menu from the counter. The booths in the lounge were each embraced by large curtains hanging from the ceiling. They could be pulled closer to block out more sound or pushed back almost completely. It gave the customers a secure sense of privacy. The hostess brought him to one of the smaller booths and took a moment to adjust the curtains as he caught up.
“Is this ok?” She asked.
“Yes, thank you.” Law slid into the seat and looked across the room to the empty stage and cleared floor in front of it. Tables were sparsely placed throughout the center of the room, but a designated area had been left for what Law assumed was a dance floor. Judging by the number of people, the lounge was actually busier than Law had assumed based on noise. Some were in booths like him, with dates or laptops and notes spread across the table; there were a few patrons at the bar, but most were at the tables, chatting and laughing.
“The band will be back in a moment.” The hostess reassured him when she saw his gaze linger on quiet stage. “Something went weird with the wires for the speakers.” She placed the drinks menu on the table along with a small piece of paper. “That’s the wi-fi password if you need it. Will you be ordering anything from the bar?”
“What’s the house scotch?” Law asked as he pulled out his ID.
“Alabasta Kings.”
“A scotch on the rocks then.” He waited until she left before getting his laptop out of his bag and setting it up. His email was loading when he heard the room quiet just a bit and the lights changed.
“Ok, sorry about that guys,” Law recognized Nami’s voice as she apologized for the delay. He glanced over to see her in a shimmering dress on stage while Sanji and Brook were setting up to start playing again. “But Usopp fixed the problem so we’re good for the rest of the night.” She stepped off to the side so Sanji could take the mic.
Law turned back to his laptop so he could start sorting through his messages and work a bit on reports that were due at the hospital. The first notes were played on the piano before Sanji began singing softly in time with the bass that sped up the rhythm of the song. Law paused before he began composing a reply email and looked back to the stage. Despite the slow start, the beat was quick and catchy. Several couples had gotten up to dance, and Law smiled as he watched an older couple move across the dance floor with ease like they were teens again.
A unique sound, something deeper but more quirky than the others, kicked off the chorus of the song. Law’s gaze flicked up to the straw hat and then settled on the man wearing it. He had seen Luffy in suits before, simple dress shirts with a jacket and slacks. It’s what he wore when he performed, but this was a little different.
With the dark room and light shining on the stage, his hat tipped just enough to cast a shadow over his eyes, the sleeves of his jacket rolled up his forearms…
Law watched, mesmerized by the sight. Luffy moved with the music, swaying back and forth or stepping to the beat; he played with his eyes closed and a small smile at the edge of his lips. He looked classy, like he was made for the music and his instrument was an extension of himself.
The hostess bringing his drink back forced him to look away. “You should have said you were with the band.” Before he could reply that he wasn’t, she handed over a note. “From Miss Nami. And don’t worry, your drinks are on the house.”
Law sighed as she left. He read the note quickly, a small message from Nami about how he should’ve called ahead if he was going to stop by and she’d come by to sit with him later, and returned his attention to his lover on stage. “Can’t believe I’ve been missing out on this…”
The lounge was winding down with only an hour before close. It was one in the morning, and the band had finished their last song. Law had shared a few drinks with Nami before she had to head backstage again. He’d spent the evening listening specifically to Luffy, what notes the saxophone made, which parts did he play alone, and now he closed his eyes with his head leaned back, filing all the memories away until next time.
The booth’s cushioned seat dipped beside him and a warm hand slid across his shoulders. “Hey handsome. Come here often?”
“No, but I should really fix that.” Law chuckled. He opened an eye at Luffy and pulled him closer. “You sounded good up there.”
Luffy grinned. “Thanks. I didn’t know you were getting off early.”
“Neither did I…” Law sighed. “Are you all done?”
Luffy gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Yeah, let me grab my sax, and I’ll meet you in the foyer.”
Law didn’t truly feel his exhaustion until his back hit the bed. “Ok… maybe it’s a good thing I have the next four days off.” He heard Luffy laugh. Law threw an arm over his eyes to block out the light. It was turned off a moment later, but he didn’t remove his arm. “Come here, I need to tell you something.”
He felt Luffy crawl over him, naked except for his boxers. “What’s up?” He pulled the unfastened belt from Law’s pants and began unbuttoning his shirt.
“I’m sorry.”
Luffy paused. “Why?” He picked up Law’s arm so he could look at him.
Law blinked at the darkness. “For never asking you to play, and I don’t know… not caring as much as I should about your music. I-” He stopped with a hitched breath because something wet was licking up his stomach. Luffy’s tongue, he gathered after a kiss was placed where his chest tattoo ended.
“You care.” Luffy said. He kissed his way up Law’s chest. “You always ask how the performance was when I play at the hotel and you remind me to practice.”
Law clicked his tongue. “That’s why I never heard you play before tonight.” He could see Luffy better now, the shine of light in his eyes as he looked at Law.
“Hm, I guess I don’t really play around you often.”
“Never.” Law corrected.
“That’s not true. We met because you heard me playing.” Luffy resumed his trail of kisses.
“What? No, we met at that antique store downtown…”
“Cricket also knows how to fix instruments. Remember, you asked us to keep the squeaking down.” Luffy was talking against his neck now.
“That squeaking…”
“Was my saxophone.” Luffy confirmed.
Law snorted. “How…? Thank goodness it didn’t sound like that tonight.”
“I know.” Luffy sighed with a small laugh.
It was silent for a moment before Law spoke again. “You looked good playing on stage.” He could feel Luffy’s grin as he sucked softly at his neck. “I kinda want to have sex right now, but I’m too exhausted.”
Luffy buried his face against Law’s shoulder in a vain attempt to muffle his laughter. Law pinched his side. “Don’t laugh at my pain.”
“Mmm, poor thing.” Luffy settled into giggling. He scooted back a bit so he could pull Law up in a sitting position. “It’s ok. We have tomorrow and the day after that. Let me take care of you.” He tugged off the last of Law’s clothes until he was in a similar state of undress.
Despite how tired Law was, sleep didn’t come quickly. He laid wrapped in Luffy’s embrace while the younger tapped out a rhythm against his arm. “What are you playing?”
“Hm?”
Law rested a hand over one of Luffy’s. “This. I used to think you were just drumming your fingers but…” He paused and ran his thumb against Luffy’s knuckles. “It’s always the same, and it’s patterned, not random. Are you playing something?”
“You noticed? You’re smart.”
‘After a year of dating you…’ Law thought bitterly. It was going to take him a while to get over the guilt and feeling like a bad boyfriend.
“Don’t laugh?” Luffy sounded almost embarrassed.
“Promise. What song is it?”
“Careless Whisper.”
Law sighed and scratched his nose. “Luffy?”
“You don’t know that song?”
“Yeah…”
As soon as Law said it, Luffy was up and rummaging for something in the corner of the room. Law considered flipping on the lamp beside the bed. He didn’t really want to move that much though, so he waited. The first note of from the sax startled him a bit, the bedroom was small and it bounced off the walls.
‘Guess this is the song,’ Law listened to it, and it did sound familiar. But he had never heard the whole song or had a name to place to it. The melody Luffy was playing seemed excessively sexy, which was a weird thing to think about a piece of music. Law was smiling regardless when Luffy stopped.
“Nice song.”
“Eh… it is, I guess.” Luffy rejoined him on the bed.
“You guess?”
“The music is, but the lyrics aren’t my favorite.”
“What’s it about?” Law reached out for Luffy’s hand.
“Regret… because the singer cheated on his lover. That’s what it sounds like to me, anyway. It’s kind of a sad song, but everyone always calls it a love song.”
“Broken love is still love.” Law squeezed Luffy’s hand.
“It’s dumb. He shouldn’t have done that.” Luffy laid next to Law. “But I like playing it, just the sax part.”
“Maybe you should rewrite the lyrics?”
“Maybe…” Luffy opened his arms so Law could lay against his shoulders.
“Rewrite them for us.” Law mumbled sleepily. “Something to match your sax…”
Luffy smiled down at him, his breathing slowing into long peaceful beats. The warmth of sleep and his lover pulled at him, and as his eyes closed, his fingers tapped out the notes of a love song.
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jessicakehoe · 6 years ago
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These Celebs Are Destigmatizing Mental Illness
Many campaigns have worked to normalize the discussion around mental health (Bell’s Let’s Talk and CAMH’s One Brave Night among them). But one thing that really reaches the masses is when a celebrity speaks out about his or her struggle to spread the message that it’s OK to have mental illness; it doesn’t make you weak.
Anyone who has ever suffered from depression or anxiety—whether temporary or chronic—knows the feeling of wanting to crawl into bed and stay there until things seem OK again. And somehow when these celebrities who seem to have it all come out and say that they actually don’t have their shit together, it is encouraging to us. By focusing on their health, it normalizes the conversation and gives us the courage to take care of ourselves (and be vocal about it).
Below, see the celebrities who are helping to fight the stigma against mental health by being open about their own struggles. Want to learn more about mental illness? Here are 5 myths about anxiety and depression, and information about different types of treatment.
Selena Gomez
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I have a lot to be thankful for this year.. My year has been the hardest yet most rewarding one yet. I've finally fought the fight of not 'being enough'. I have only wanted to reflect the love you guys have given me for years and show how important it is to take care of YOU. By grace through faith. Kindness always wins. I love you guys. God bless
A post shared by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on Nov 24, 2016 at 6:21pm PST
In August 2016, Selena Gomez announced that she would be taking a break from her career to deal with anxiety, depression and panic attacks associated with lupus (an autoimmune condition from which she suffers). She made a return to the spotlight in November that year at the American Music Awards, where she delivered an emotional, heartfelt speech, briefly touching on her battle with mental health issues.
“I had to stop because I had everything and I was absolutely broken inside. I kept it all together enough to where I would never let you down but I kept it too much together to where I let myself down,” she said. “If you are broken, you do not have to stay broken.”
The songstress also opened up about her issues with mental health in the April 2017 issue of Vogue (which she covered). “Tours are a really lonely place for me,” she told the magazine. “My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting onstage, or right after leaving the stage. Basically I felt I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t capable. I felt I wasn’t giving my fans anything, and they could see it—which, I think, was a complete distortion.”
She revealed she spent 90 days in a mental health facility in Tennessee, surrendering her cell phone and taking part in various forms of therapy. And while Gomez is the second most-followed person on Instagram, she told Vogue she no longer had it on her phone, and an assistant had her password.
“It felt like I was seeing things I didn’t want to see, like it was putting things in my head that I didn’t want to care about,” she said. “I always end up feeling like shit when I look at Instagram. Which is why I’m kind of under the radar, ghosting it a bit.”
Camila Cabello
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#BGT  here I cooooome !!!! gonna b singing #cryingintheclub woooop
A post shared by camila (@camila_cabello) on May 30, 2017 at 5:06am PDT
Former Fifth Harmony member Camila Cabello made headlines in September 2016 after she left the stage early during a performance under the guise of a wardrobe malfunction. She later revealed, on Snapchat, that the cause was excessive anxiety, even tweeting, “just wanna sleep for 3 days.”
Cabello had already been open about her struggles with anxiety prior to the incident, however, telling Billboard that 2015 was a “low” for her, personally.
“I was having terrible anxiety, nonstop. My heart would beat really fast the whole day. Two hours after I woke up, I’d need a nap because my body was so hyperactive,” she recalled. “I was scared of what would happen to me, of the things my brain might tell me. I realized the stuff I thought was important isn’t worth my health. Now I write in a diary every day, work out and meditate.”
In March 2017, the Cuban-born star revealed to Latina magazine that she also deals with obsessive compulsive disorder. “It was just totally out of control,” Cabello told the magazine of her OCD. “I would wake up with a super-accelerated heartbeat and really negative, intrusive, compulsive thoughts. I was so inside my head, and I didn’t know what was happening.”
She continued, “I totally understand now, being in it, why there shouldn’t be such a stigma on mental illness, because it’s a pretty common thing for people. But you can get help. If you’re dedicated to making it better, you can—because I’m in a much better place now. I started reading books about it and it really helped a lot when I understood [the illness], and that [the thoughts I was having] weren’t real. Sometimes you have to remind yourself to slow down and take care of yourself.”
Zayn Malik
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A post shared by Zayn Malik (@zayn) on Aug 14, 2018 at 10:01pm PDT
In June 2016, former One Direction member Zayn Malik cancelled a U.K. concert due to anxiety. He made the announcement on Instagram, writing, “Unfortunately, my anxiety that has haunted me throughout the last few months has gotten the better of me. With the magnitude of the live event, I have suffered the worst anxiety of my career.”
Later that year, Malik revealed in his memoir, Pillow Talk, that panic attacks have stopped him from performing on more than one occasion. “I just couldn’t go through with it,” he wrote. “Mentally, the anxiety had won. Physically, I knew I couldn’t function. I would have to pull out.”
And while a member of his team offered to say he was sick, Malik insisted on being open about his struggle. “I was done with putting out statements that masked what was really going on. I wanted to tell the truth. Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of; it affects millions of people every day,” he explained. “I don’t want to say I’m sick. I want to tell people what’s going on, and I’m not gonna be ashamed of what’s happening.”
Cara Delevingne
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Had the most incredible time at @finolhu_maldives this holiday. Thank you @gentlemonster for hooking me up with the shades 🕶 📸 by @james_suckling
A post shared by Cara Delevingne (@caradelevingne) on Jan 10, 2019 at 12:26am PST
In 2016, Cara Delevingne took to Twitter to reveal she took a break from modelling due to depression. “I suffer from depression and was a model during a particularly rough patch of self hatred,” she explained. Later that year, she told Esquire she had been struggling with mental illness since she was a teen, more specifically, after she discovered her mother’s drug addiction.
“I was suicidal. I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I realized how lucky and privileged I was, but all I wanted to do was die,” she told the magazine, adding a six-month break from school and medication might have helped save her life at 16.
However, Cara stopped the meds at age 18, saying “I get depressed still but I would rather learn to figure it out myself rather then be dependant on meds, ever.”
Adele
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Auckland / Mt Smart Stadium / Mar 25
A post shared by Adele (@adele) on Mar 25, 2017 at 9:41pm PDT
Despite being a 15-time Grammy winner, Adele still experiences stage fright. In March 2017, she admitted to her New Zealand concertgoers that she may never tour again, due to the ongoing issue. “Touring isn’t something I’m good at–applause makes me feel a bit vulnerable. I don’t know if I will ever tour again,” she told the audience. “I get so nervous with live performances that I’m too frightened to try anything new. It’s actually getting worse. Or it’s just not getting better, so I feel like it’s getting worse, because it should’ve gotten better by now.”
Lady Gaga
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I felt like a princess in custom @tiffanyandco made just for me for the #GoldenGlobes 🤗 The Aurora necklace was named after the Aurora Borealis as an homage to #AStarIsBorn 🌟 #TiffanyAndCo
A post shared by Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) on Jan 8, 2019 at 10:29am PST
In 2016, Lady Gaga revealed she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after she was raped at age 19. “I suffer from PTSD, I’ve never told anyone that before,” she said on the Today show in December 2016. “But the kindness that’s been shown to me, by doctors as well as family and friends, has really saved my life.”
More recently, Gaga opened up about her mental health struggles in a conversation with Prince William, as part of the royal’s Heads Together #oktosay series, which aims to end the stigma with the help of celebrities.
“For me, waking up every day and feeling sad and going on stage is something that is very hard to describe. There’s a lot of shame attached to mental illness. You feel like something’s wrong with you,” she told the Duke of Cambridge via FaceTime. “In my life, I go, ‘Oh my goodness, look at all these beautiful, wonderful things that I have. I should be so happy,’ but you can’t help it if, in the morning when you wake up, you are so tired, you are so sad, you are so full of anxiety and the shakes that you can barely think.”
But despite her hardships, the A Star is Born actress told William “the best thing that could come out of my mental illness was to share it with other people.”
“I feel like we are not hiding anymore, we’re starting to talk, and that’s what we need to do really,” she said.
Demi Lovato
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A post shared by Demi Lovato (@ddlovato) on May 9, 2017 at 2:42pm PDT
Demi Lovato is one of the most vocal mental health awareness advocates in the biz. The former Disney star, who has battled drug and alcohol addictions, bipolar disorder, self-harm and an eating disorder for years underwent rehab in 2010 and in 2013. Now, Lovato is much healthier and is committed to ending the stigma against mental illness. In 2015, she launched the Be Vocal campaign as a way to encourage individuals struggling with mental illness to talk about what they’re going through.
“I think the more people vocalize what they’re going through—their experience or just simply educating themselves so that they can learn more about what they’re talking about—that’s going to be the key to creating a conversation about mental illness and making it more understood,” she told HuffPost. “There’s a lack of compassion for people who have mental illnesses and there’s a lot of judgment. Once you make people realize that mental illness can happen to anybody—and it’s not anybody’s fault—then I think they’ll become more understanding of what mental illness really is.”
Jennifer Lawrence
Photography by Steve Granitz/WireImage
Jennifer Lawrence opened up about her struggle with anxiety in 2013, telling Madame Figaro that she began experiencing symptoms as a preteen. “When my mother told me about my childhood, she always told me that there was like a light in me, a spark that inspired me constantly,” Lawrence told the magazine. “When I started school, the light went out. It was never known what it was, a kind of social anxiety.”
She eventually went to seek help from a therapist and turned to acting as a form of self-therapy. She also revealed to the New York Times that she manages her anxiety with the use of prescription meds.
Emma Stone
Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage
Oscar winner Emma Stone told Rolling Stone in 2016 that she experienced bouts of anxiety and panic attacks as a child. “My anxiety was constant,” she said. “I would ask my mom a hundred times how the day was gonna lay out. What time was she gonna drop me off? Where was she gonna be? What would happen at lunch? Feeling nauseous. At a certain point, I couldn’t go to friends’ houses anymore–I could barely get out the door to school.”
She did reveal, however, that therapy and acting, specifically improv and sketch comedy, is what helped her work through it. “You have to be present in improv, and that’s the antithesis of anxiety,” she explained.
Chrissy Teigen
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My stoop buddy
A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on Apr 29, 2017 at 6:47pm PDT
Chrissy Teigen is never one to hold back, but she shocked fans when she penned an essay for Glamour in 2017 on her struggle with postpartum depression. “I couldn’t figure out why I was so unhappy. I blamed it on being tired and possibly growing out of the role: ‘Maybe I’m just not a goofy person anymore. Maybe I’m just supposed to be a mom,'” she wrote, later adding “postpartum does not discriminate.”
Months later, Teigen finally saw her family doctor, where she got her diagnosis. She began taking antidepressants. “I’m speaking up now because I want people to know it can happen to anybody and I don’t want people who have it to feel embarrassed or to feel alone. I also don’t want to pretend like I know everything about postpartum depression, because it can be different for everybody. But one thing I do know is that—for me—just merely being open about it helps.”
Troian Bellisario
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Thanks @coveteur I truly am a creepy eavesdropper. 😉 (📸 by @weston.wells )
A post shared by Troian Bellisario (@sleepinthegardn) on May 10, 2017 at 6:53am PDT
In November 2016, Pretty Little Liars star Troian Bellisario revealed via a voting PSA that she struggled with an eating disorder when she was younger. She said it was early detection and mental healthcare that saved her. “If I had just been shunned to the side as not having ‘real problems’, I don’t know that I would be living today,” she explained. “I just want to make sure that everybody has the same opportunity for treatment that I have, and I think that we have to make sure that our government invests in those programs.”
Troian shared her story on her struggles with anorexia in her film Feed, which she wrote and directed. “It was not easy; it was like engaging with an addiction,” she told Interview magazine of revisiting her story, adding that working on the film was “like poking a sleeping dragon.” “One of the things I really wanted the film to explore was that once you have this relationship, once you have this mental illness or this disease, it never really goes away.”
And just like many others who suffer from mental illness, Bellisario said she feels like no one truly understands what she went through. “Still to this day, I couldn’t get anyone—even the people who loved me the most, even my boyfriend or my mother or my father—to understand what that experience was truly like for me,” she said. “It was about my eating disorder, and I found there were so many people who thought that it was about losing weight or being skinny, and I couldn’t quite get them to understand that it was about control on a very, very literal level.”
Gina Rodriguez
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One year after the devastation of Hurricane Maria, there is still work to be done. Thank you @ricky_martin for giving us all an opportunity to continue to contribute to the reconstruction of our beautiful island of Puerto Rico. #allin4pr #miislabonita ❤️🙌🏽 link in bio 🇵🇷🇵🇷🇵🇷
A post shared by Gina Rodriguez-LoCicero (@hereisgina) on Oct 26, 2018 at 4:12pm PDT
Jane the Virgin star Gina Rodriguez got candid about her struggle with anxiety in a moving Instagram post. “I suffer from anxiety,” she captioned the video, which sees her makeup-free in a New York Yankees cap. “And watching this clip I could see how anxious I was but I empathize with myself. I wanted to protect her and tell her it’s ok to be anxious, there is nothing different or strange about having anxiety and I will prevail.”
Shawn Mendes
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Je t’aime France ! 🇫🇷 x
A post shared by Shawn Mendes (@shawnmendes) on Nov 10, 2018 at 2:31pm PST
It may be hard to believe that Canada’s very own heartthrob has had his fair share of anxious episodes, but he has. In April 2018, the singer-songwriter told The Sun in an interview that he had seen a therapist a few times. “I found I was closing myself off from everybody, thinking that would help me battle [my anxiety], then realizing the only way I was going to battle it was completely opening up and letting people in,” Mendes said.
Said anxiety was chronicled in his single “In My Blood” (Lyrics: Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in, sometimes I feel like giving up, no medicine is strong enough, someone help me.)
“All pain is temporary, and the thing is with anxiety, and why it’s such a hard thing for people who don’t have it to understand, is that it is very random and it hits you at moments you don’t expect it. Sometimes it lasts two hours, sometimes it lasts a day and sometimes it lasts five minutes,” he said.
Sarah Hyland
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Velvet dragon scaled 🧜‍♀️ dripping in 💎 for the #goldenglobes @instylemagazine #instylewbglobes
A post shared by Sarah Hyland (@sarahhyland) on Jan 8, 2019 at 9:29am PST
Back in December 2018, Sarah Hyland opened up about experiencing suicidal thoughts after her body rejected a kidney donated by her dad. The Modern Family star, who has had a slew of health problems her whole life, appeared on Ellen in early January 2019 and spoke about her depression.
“After 26, 27 years of just always being sick and being in chronic pain every single day—and [you] don’t know when you’re going to have the next good day—it’s really, really hard…” she said.
“I would write letters in my head to loved ones of why I did it, and my reasoning behind it, and how it wasn’t anybody’s fault,” the 28-year-old revealed, adding that she was “very, very, very close,” to taking her own life.
When asked how she overcame her suicidal thoughts and depression, Hyland said that she confided in a close friend (“I finally said it out loud to someone… just saying it out loud helped immensely, because I kept it to myself for months and months at a time.”) who urged her to see a therapist.
Ariana Grande
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A post shared by Ariana Grande (@arianagrande) on Mar 30, 2019 at 9:57am PDT
In British Vogue’s July 2018 issue, Ariana Grande opened up on her experience with PTSD after the 2017 Manchester Arena bombing. “It’s hard to talk about because so many people have suffered such severe tremendous loss. But, yeah, it’s a real thing,” she said. “I don’t think I’ll ever know how to talk about it and not cry.”
In November 2018, the singer/songwriter dropped a single titled “thank u, next,” dedicated to all of her exes, including the late-Mac Miller (who died this past September of a drug overdose) and ex-fiancé Pete Davidson, which resulted in fans wondering who her therapist is. “Therapy has saved my life so many times,” Grande tweeted in response. “If you’re afraid to ask for help, don’t be.”
photography via instagram/@arianagrande
In an Instagram story posted on April 11, Grande shared a side-by-side image of a healthy brain and a brain affected by PTSD. She also included an image of what is allegedly her brain, which appears to show incredibly high levels of PTSD. “Not a joke,” she captioned the story. In a follow-up story, Grande posted a selfie containing the captions “life is wild,” “she’s trying her muthafukin best,” and “my brain is tired.”
Prince Harry
The Duke of Sussex has spoken out extensively about his own mental health journey, and the trauma he suffered as a result of losing his mother, Princess Diana, at a young age. In an interview with Bryony Gordon for her podcast about mental health, Mad World, the royal said, “I can safely say that losing my mum at the age of 12, and therefore shutting down all of my emotions for the last 20 years, has had a quite serious effect on not only my personal life but my work as well.”
“I have probably been very close to a complete breakdown on numerous occasions when all sorts of grief and sort of lies and misconceptions and everything are coming to you from every angle,” he added.
After seeking out counselling and learning to open up about his struggles with friends and family, the royal co-founded Heads Together, a mental health awareness campaign, with Prince William and Kate Middleton in 2016. While on a recent trip to South Africa with Meghan Markle, the royal couple met with Waves For Change, an organization promoting mental wellbeing through surf therapy, and spoke out about the need to counter the stigma against mental illness in our society.
“I think most of the stigma is around mental illness [and] we need to separate the two… mental health, which is every single one of us, and mental illness, which could be every single one of us,” he said. “I think they need to be separated; the mental health element touches on so much of what we’re exposed to, these experiences that these kids and every single one of us have been through. Everyone has experienced trauma or likely to experience trauma at some point during their lives. We need to try, not [to] eradicate it, but to learn from previous generations so there’s not a perpetual cycle.”
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Day two of #SussexRoyalTour is underway, and The Duke and Duchess have joined young South Africans and @WavesForChange to focus on mental health and take part in ‘surf therapy’. • Hundreds of young people from Cape Town’s townships meet every week at Monwabisi beach to surf, but also share stories with mentors and talk through the daily challenges they face. Their Royal Highnesses were able to hear how the sessions are building trust, confidence, and belonging, and they also got to join in as children took part in ‘power hand’, which teaches them how to keep calm down reflect on strengths. While on the beach The Duke and Duchess met @TheLunchBoxFund – which was one of the charities they nominated to benefit from donations following the birth of their son, Archie. Almost 30,000 meals are provided by the charity every day across South Africa, including for three @WavesForChange projects. And before they left The Duke and Duchess joined the Commonwealth Litter Programme (CLiP) – which was teaching the surfers about the impact of plastic waste on the ocean. #RoyalVisitSouthAfrica • Photo ©️ photos EMPICS / PA images / SussexRoyal
A post shared by The Duke and Duchess of Sussex (@sussexroyal) on Sep 24, 2019 at 5:00am PDT
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lindyhunt · 6 years ago
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These Celebs Are De-Stigmatizing Mental Illness
Many campaigns have worked to normalize the discussion around mental health (Bell’s Let’s Talk and CAMH’s One Brave Night among them). But one thing that really reaches the masses is when a celebrity speaks out about his or her struggle to spread the message that it’s OK to have mental illness; it doesn’t make you weak.
Anyone who has ever suffered from depression or anxiety—whether temporary or chronic—knows the feeling of wanting to crawl into bed and stay there until things seem OK again. And somehow when these celebrities who seem to have it all come out and say that they actually don’t have their shit together, it is encouraging to us. By focusing on their health, it normalizes the conversation and gives us the courage to take care of ourselves (and be vocal about it). One can’t help but wonder whether more openness could’ve helped musical wonders of the past who turned to addictions and those who had publicly documented breakdowns.
Below, see the celebrities who are helping to fight the stigma against mental health by being open about their own struggles. Want to learn more about mental illness? Here are 5 myths about anxiety and depression, and information about different types of treatment.
Selena Gomez
View this post on Instagram
I have a lot to be thankful for this year.. My year has been the hardest yet most rewarding one yet. I've finally fought the fight of not 'being enough'. I have only wanted to reflect the love you guys have given me for years and show how important it is to take care of YOU. By grace through faith. Kindness always wins. I love you guys. God bless
A post shared by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on Nov 24, 2016 at 6:21pm PST
In August 2016, Selena Gomez announced that she would be taking a break from her career to deal with anxiety, depression and panic attacks associated with lupus (an autoimmune condition from which she suffers). She made a return to the spotlight in November that year at the American Music Awards, where she delivered an emotional, heartfelt speech, briefly touching on her battle with mental health issues.
“I had to stop because I had everything and I was absolutely broken inside. I kept it all together enough to where I would never let you down but I kept it too much together to where I let myself down,” she said. “If you are broken, you do not have to stay broken.”
The songstress also opened up about her issues with mental health in the April 2017 issue of Vogue (which she covered). “Tours are a really lonely place for me,” she told the magazine. “My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting onstage, or right after leaving the stage. Basically I felt I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t capable. I felt I wasn’t giving my fans anything, and they could see it—which, I think, was a complete distortion.”
She revealed she spent 90 days in a mental health facility in Tennessee, surrendering her cell phone and taking part in various forms of therapy. And while Gomez is the second most-followed person on Instagram, she told Vogue she no longer had it on her phone, and an assistant had her password.
“It felt like I was seeing things I didn’t want to see, like it was putting things in my head that I didn’t want to care about,” she said. “I always end up feeling like shit when I look at Instagram. Which is why I’m kind of under the radar, ghosting it a bit.”
Camila Cabello
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#BGT  here I cooooome !!!! gonna b singing #cryingintheclub woooop
A post shared by camila (@camila_cabello) on May 30, 2017 at 5:06am PDT
Former Fifth Harmony member Camila Cabello made headlines in September 2016 after she left the stage early during a performance under the guise of a wardrobe malfunction. She later revealed, on Snapchat, that the cause was excessive anxiety, even tweeting, “just wanna sleep for 3 days.”
Cabello had already been open about her struggles with anxiety prior to the incident, however, telling Billboard that 2015 was a “low” for her, personally.
“I was having terrible anxiety, nonstop. My heart would beat really fast the whole day. Two hours after I woke up, I’d need a nap because my body was so hyperactive,” she recalled. “I was scared of what would happen to me, of the things my brain might tell me. I realized the stuff I thought was important isn’t worth my health. Now I write in a diary every day, work out and meditate.”
In March 2017, the Cuban-born star revealed to Latina magazine that she also deals with obsessive compulsive disorder. “It was just totally out of control,” Cabello told the magazine of her OCD. “I would wake up with a super-accelerated heartbeat and really negative, intrusive, compulsive thoughts. I was so inside my head, and I didn’t know what was happening.”
She continued, “I totally understand now, being in it, why there shouldn’t be such a stigma on mental illness, because it’s a pretty common thing for people. But you can get help. If you’re dedicated to making it better, you can—because I’m in a much better place now. I started reading books about it and it really helped a lot when I understood [the illness], and that [the thoughts I was having] weren’t real. Sometimes you have to remind yourself to slow down and take care of yourself.”
Zayn Malik
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A post shared by Zayn Malik (@zayn) on Aug 14, 2018 at 10:01pm PDT
In June 2016, former One Direction member Zayn Malik cancelled a U.K. concert due to anxiety. He made the announcement on Instagram, writing, “Unfortunately, my anxiety that has haunted me throughout the last few months has gotten the better of me. With the magnitude of the live event, I have suffered the worst anxiety of my career.”
Later that year, Malik revealed in his memoir, Pillow Talk, that panic attacks have stopped him from performing on more than one occasion. “I just couldn’t go through with it,” he wrote. “Mentally, the anxiety had won. Physically, I knew I couldn’t function. I would have to pull out.”
And while a member of his team offered to say he was sick, Malik insisted on being open about his struggle. “I was done with putting out statements that masked what was really going on. I wanted to tell the truth. Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of; it affects millions of people every day,” he explained. “I don’t want to say I’m sick. I want to tell people what’s going on, and I’m not gonna be ashamed of what’s happening.”
Cara Delevingne
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Had the most incredible time at @finolhu_maldives this holiday. Thank you @gentlemonster for hooking me up with the shades 🕶 📸 by @james_suckling
A post shared by Cara Delevingne (@caradelevingne) on Jan 10, 2019 at 12:26am PST
In 2016, Cara Delevingne took to Twitter to reveal she took a break from modelling due to depression. “I suffer from depression and was a model during a particularly rough patch of self hatred,” she explained. Later that year, she told Esquire she had been struggling with mental illness since she was a teen, more specifically, after she discovered her mother’s drug addiction.
“I was suicidal. I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I realized how lucky and privileged I was, but all I wanted to do was die,” she told the magazine, adding a six-month break from school and medication might have helped save her life at 16.
However, Cara stopped the meds at age 18, saying “I get depressed still but I would rather learn to figure it out myself rather then be dependant on meds, ever.”
Adele
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Auckland / Mt Smart Stadium / Mar 25
A post shared by Adele (@adele) on Mar 25, 2017 at 9:41pm PDT
Despite being a 15-time Grammy winner, Adele still experiences stage fright. In March 2017, she admitted to her New Zealand concertgoers that she may never tour again, due to the ongoing issue. “Touring isn’t something I’m good at–applause makes me feel a bit vulnerable. I don’t know if I will ever tour again,” she told the audience. “I get so nervous with live performances that I’m too frightened to try anything new. It’s actually getting worse. Or it’s just not getting better, so I feel like it’s getting worse, because it should’ve gotten better by now.”
Lady Gaga
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I felt like a princess in custom @tiffanyandco made just for me for the #GoldenGlobes 🤗 The Aurora necklace was named after the Aurora Borealis as an homage to #AStarIsBorn 🌟 #TiffanyAndCo
A post shared by Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) on Jan 8, 2019 at 10:29am PST
In 2016, Lady Gaga revealed she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after she was raped at age 19. “I suffer from PTSD, I’ve never told anyone that before,” she said on the Today show in December 2016. “But the kindness that’s been shown to me, by doctors as well as family and friends, has really saved my life.”
More recently, Gaga opened up about her mental health struggles in a conversation with Prince William, as part of the royal’s Heads Together #oktosay series, which aims to end the stigma with the help of celebrities.
“For me, waking up every day and feeling sad and going on stage is something that is very hard to describe. There’s a lot of shame attached to mental illness. You feel like something’s wrong with you,” she told the Duke of Cambridge via FaceTime. “In my life, I go, ‘Oh my goodness, look at all these beautiful, wonderful things that I have. I should be so happy,’ but you can’t help it if, in the morning when you wake up, you are so tired, you are so sad, you are so full of anxiety and the shakes that you can barely think.”
But despite her hardships, the A Star is Born actress told William “the best thing that could come out of my mental illness was to share it with other people.”
“I feel like we are not hiding anymore, we’re starting to talk, and that’s what we need to do really,” she said.
Demi Lovato
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A post shared by Demi Lovato (@ddlovato) on May 9, 2017 at 2:42pm PDT
Demi Lovato is one of the most vocal mental health awareness advocates in the biz. The former Disney star, who has battled drug and alcohol addictions, bipolar disorder, self-harm and an eating disorder for years underwent rehab in 2010 and in 2013. Now, Lovato is much healthier and is committed to ending the stigma against mental illness. In 2015, she launched the Be Vocal campaign as a way to encourage individuals struggling with mental illness to talk about what they’re going through.
“I think the more people vocalize what they’re going through—their experience or just simply educating themselves so that they can learn more about what they’re talking about—that’s going to be the key to creating a conversation about mental illness and making it more understood,” she told HuffPost. “There’s a lack of compassion for people who have mental illnesses and there’s a lot of judgment. Once you make people realize that mental illness can happen to anybody—and it’s not anybody’s fault—then I think they’ll become more understanding of what mental illness really is.”
Jennifer Lawrence
Photography by Steve Granitz/WireImage
Jennifer Lawrence opened up about her struggle with anxiety in 2013, telling Madame Figaro that she began experiencing symptoms as a preteen. “When my mother told me about my childhood, she always told me that there was like a light in me, a spark that inspired me constantly,” Lawrence told the magazine. “When I started school, the light went out. It was never known what it was, a kind of social anxiety.”
She eventually went to seek help from a therapist and turned to acting as a form of self-therapy. She also revealed to the New York Times that she manages her anxiety with the use of prescription meds.
Emma Stone
Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage
Oscar winner Emma Stone told Rolling Stone in 2016 that she experienced bouts of anxiety and panic attacks as a child. “My anxiety was constant,” she said. “I would ask my mom a hundred times how the day was gonna lay out. What time was she gonna drop me off? Where was she gonna be? What would happen at lunch? Feeling nauseous. At a certain point, I couldn’t go to friends’ houses anymore–I could barely get out the door to school.”
She did reveal, however, that therapy and acting, specifically improv and sketch comedy, is what helped her work through it. “You have to be present in improv, and that’s the antithesis of anxiety,” she explained.
Chrissy Teigen
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My stoop buddy
A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on Apr 29, 2017 at 6:47pm PDT
Chrissy Teigen is never one to hold back, but she shocked fans when she penned an essay for Glamour in 2017 on her struggle with postpartum depression. “I couldn’t figure out why I was so unhappy. I blamed it on being tired and possibly growing out of the role: ‘Maybe I’m just not a goofy person anymore. Maybe I’m just supposed to be a mom,'” she wrote, later adding “postpartum does not discriminate.”
Months later, Teigen finally saw her family doctor, where she got her diagnosis. She began taking antidepressants. “I’m speaking up now because I want people to know it can happen to anybody and I don’t want people who have it to feel embarrassed or to feel alone. I also don’t want to pretend like I know everything about postpartum depression, because it can be different for everybody. But one thing I do know is that—for me—just merely being open about it helps.”
Troian Bellisario
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Thanks @coveteur I truly am a creepy eavesdropper. 😉 (📸 by @weston.wells )
A post shared by Troian Bellisario (@sleepinthegardn) on May 10, 2017 at 6:53am PDT
In November 2016, Pretty Little Liars star Troian Bellisario revealed via a voting PSA that she struggled with an eating disorder when she was younger. She said it was early detection and mental healthcare that saved her. “If I had just been shunned to the side as not having ‘real problems’, I don’t know that I would be living today,” she explained. “I just want to make sure that everybody has the same opportunity for treatment that I have, and I think that we have to make sure that our government invests in those programs.”
Troian shared her story on her struggles with anorexia in her film Feed, which she wrote and directed. “It was not easy; it was like engaging with an addiction,” she told Interview magazine of revisiting her story, adding that working on the film was “like poking a sleeping dragon.” “One of the things I really wanted the film to explore was that once you have this relationship, once you have this mental illness or this disease, it never really goes away.”
And just like many others who suffer from mental illness, Bellisario said she feels like no one truly understands what she went through. “Still to this day, I couldn’t get anyone—even the people who loved me the most, even my boyfriend or my mother or my father—to understand what that experience was truly like for me,” she said. “It was about my eating disorder, and I found there were so many people who thought that it was about losing weight or being skinny, and I couldn’t quite get them to understand that it was about control on a very, very literal level.”
Gina Rodriguez
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One year after the devastation of Hurricane Maria, there is still work to be done. Thank you @ricky_martin for giving us all an opportunity to continue to contribute to the reconstruction of our beautiful island of Puerto Rico. #allin4pr #miislabonita ❤️🙌🏽 link in bio 🇵🇷🇵🇷🇵🇷
A post shared by Gina Rodriguez (@hereisgina) on Oct 26, 2018 at 4:12pm PDT
Jane the Virgin star Gina Rodriguez got candid about her struggle with anxiety in a moving Instagram post. “I suffer from anxiety,” she captioned the video, which sees her makeup-free in a New York Yankees cap. “And watching this clip I could see how anxious I was but I empathize with myself. I wanted to protect her and tell her it’s ok to be anxious, there is nothing different or strange about having anxiety and I will prevail.”
Ariana Grande
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A post shared by Ariana Grande (@arianagrande) on Nov 6, 2018 at 7:11pm PST
In British Vogue’s July 2018 issue, Ariana Grande opened up on her experience with PTSD after the 2017 Manchester Arena bombing. “It’s hard to talk about because so many people have suffered such severe tremendous loss. But, yeah, it’s a real thing,” she said. “I don’t think I’ll ever know how to talk about it and not cry.”
In November 2018, the singer/songwriter dropped a single titled “thank u, next,” dedicated to all of her exes, including the late-Mac Miller (who died this past September of a drug overdose) and ex-fiancé Pete Davidson, which resulted in fans wondering who her therapist is. “Therapy has saved my life so many times,” Grande tweeted in response. “If you’re afraid to ask for help, don’t be.”
Shawn Mendes
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Je t’aime France ! 🇫🇷 x
A post shared by Shawn Mendes (@shawnmendes) on Nov 10, 2018 at 2:31pm PST
It may be hard to believe that Canada’s very own heartthrob has had his fair share of anxious episodes, but he has. In April 2018, the singer-songwriter told The Sun in an interview that he had seen a therapist a few times. “I found I was closing myself off from everybody, thinking that would help me battle [my anxiety], then realizing the only way I was going to battle it was completely opening up and letting people in,” Mendes said.
Said anxiety was chronicled in his single “In My Blood” (Lyrics: Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in, sometimes I feel like giving up, no medicine is strong enough, someone help me.)
“All pain is temporary, and the thing is with anxiety, and why it’s such a hard thing for people who don’t have it to understand, is that it is very random and it hits you at moments you don’t expect it. Sometimes it lasts two hours, sometimes it lasts a day and sometimes it lasts five minutes,” he said.
Sarah Hyland
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Velvet dragon scaled 🧜‍♀️ dripping in 💎 for the #goldenglobes @instylemagazine #instylewbglobes
A post shared by Sarah Hyland (@sarahhyland) on Jan 8, 2019 at 9:29am PST
Back in December 2018, Sarah Hyland opened up about experiencing suicidal thoughts after her body rejected a kidney donated by her dad. The Modern Family star, who has had a slew of health problems her whole life, appeared on Ellen in early January 2019 and spoke about her depression.
“After 26, 27 years of just always being sick and being in chronic pain every single day—and [you] don’t know when you’re going to have the next good day—it’s really, really hard…” she said.
“I would write letters in my head to loved ones of why I did it, and my reasoning behind it, and how it wasn’t anybody’s fault,” the 28-year-old revealed, adding that she was “very, very, very close,” to taking her own life.
When asked how she overcame her suicidal thoughts and depression, Hyland said that she confided in a close friend (“I finally said it out loud to someone… just saying it out loud helped immensely, because I kept it to myself for months and months at a time.”) who urged her to see a therapist.
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meanwhileinoz · 8 years ago
Text
People On Reddit Share The Dark Secrets That Could Destroy Their Marriages
We’ve all got secrets.
Things we are afraid to tell anybody. People will judge you, especially if your secret is messed up.
That is why we have the Internet. To post our secrets anonymously, facing no criticism and getting it off our chests as well. A Reddit thread revealed people sharing their darkest secrets, which could potentially ruin their lives. Read them below:
“Years ago my gf (we’ll call deb) and I were out with her friend (we’ll call Sara). This one day Sara had to pin unlock her phone each time to take one of many pictures….out the corner of my eye I saw her pin. I saved it in a note. Months later sara and deb were at my place and went to the pool. Sara left her phone indoors. I used her password and hit jackpot. Nudes, videos, message logs with some guy she was talking (well call jeff) to, along with tons of dick picks and videos of him jacking off…
With this goldmine of pics and vids I concocted a slow plan…..very slow. Slowly I broke off with deb but kept in touch with sara. I then created a alter ego online (we’ll call it Vanessa). For months I worked this identity so it looked real. This identity started following Sara on all social media (Sara accepted any friend requests). Vanessa blackmailed jeff. Jeff was given 2 days to stop talking to sara or his dick picks got leaked. He was chicken sh*t and dropped her like a hot potato. But Sara was strong willed…when Vanessa threatened sara to stop talking to jeff or her pics get leaked she protested…so I knew I had to change tactics. Vanessa disappeared for a while until I could get Sara’s phone in my hands for a bit. One day sara was over and ‘lost’ her phone at my place. I ‘found’ it for her the next day…. Not before I installed a spy app that let me keep track of her everything. A few weeks later Vanessa came back but now armed with the conversations sara was having with everyone. While tracking Sara’s reactions and suspicions, I made it show that Vanessa wasnt real….
Now all my friends know me as being pretty tech literate. One day im talking with Sara and she breaks down crying telling me how she been long distance sexting this guy and somebody hacked his or her phone and now shes being blackmailed by some stranger she doesn’t know. So she askes me if I could help her. Long ending short I made it look like jeff was Vanessa. I made it look like he created this person so that he could blackmail Sara into f*cked up sex stuff. Sara left him and guess who was the hero? Me. I caught ‘Vanessa.’ Sara was now safe because of me. Once we blackmailed the guy, ‘Vanessa’ disappeared… You know…for realism. Sara and I now had this tragedy…this hurdle that we overcame together. We started dating not long after. She was never going back to long distance relationships and wanted to try local….4 years later were married.”
  “My father never had anything other than boys, and my mother always wanted a girl. Try as they might, they just had tons of boys. When I was 6 they adopted a girl of also 6. Everyone was pleased, and she was quickly included into the family by everyone and we all took an immediate shine to her. Especially me.
We started playing ‘doctor’ at 9. This progressed to fooling around by our early teens, and into actual sex shortly thereafter. We’re both over 30 now. We have sex whenever we see each other. We also like to pretend we are twins when we do have sex. We’ve both had our shares of girlfriends and boyfriends, but we always kept it up even while in those relationships. She’s actually married now.
We still have sex about 2 times a month, more when the family gets together for holidays. I can’t even imagine the bricks that would be sh*t if anyone ever found out. It’s been close a few times, especially when we were younger, but nobody’s ever caught on.
  #3 From a divorce lawyer who goes by TheLadyInReddit:
“Client is an elderly gentleman, some type of retired professional. His son is a pastor. Everything about his situation seemed very normal in terms of income, property, etc. However, it turns out he had a pretty serious porn hobby and he was concerned his wife might find out and use it against him in the divorce. However, as I mentioned above, I assured him that was pretty run-of-the-mill these days and unlikely to affect anything. He then asks if I feel the same knowing the porn is not ‘mainstream.’ I asked what he means and he looks very nervous. I wanted to make sure he wasn’t referencing CP, so I pushed him on it.
The guy was into goats.”
  “My friend inherited a beautiful diamond engagement ring. The stone was worth $20K. His fiance was thrilled to receive it and flaunt it. Now his wife of 25 years, it’s still one of her most precious possessions.
Only I (and you 4 million) know that she does not own the original diamond. My friend sold the stone for $15K and an equal sized, substitute diamond on the day he picked it up from being sized to fit her…
The value of the ring was learned at appraisal, and was actually appraised a bit higher. The $20K was the number he knew he could get from a wholesaler in the district. It is still insured for the higher amount. The stone that was substituted is a diamond – and I couldn’t tell the difference. The money was mostly used to clear debts.”
“I’m an atheist. I’m also a deacon in an evangelical church. I’m not exactly proud of it but I try do my part to convince people to live like Jesus because even if he wasn’t god, he certainly had some good ideas about loving other people.
The problem for me is my family. I’m married with a one kid and another on the way. I believe that such a revelation would be devastating for my wife. I’ve tried to tell her in subtle ways but I can’t bring myself to just come out and say the truth. I love my wife and I don’t wish to harm her emotionally in that way.”
  “I am a gay man married to a woman who has no idea I am gay.
How is my life? It’s great. It’s pleasant. I have two beautiful children who I love more than anything. I have a successful job and a lovely home. My wife is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. So that is my life.
Myself, however, the way I feel inside is not so good. I feel disgusted with who I am. Growing up in a Catholic household had me living in fear of being banished by my family for revealing my sexuality. That’s not something I’m afraid will happen, that is something that is a well known fact in my family. I would love more than anything to be honest to everyone. I am a coward though…
As ridiculous as it sounds I thought that getting married and settling down etc would make these feelings I had about being gay go away. Before meeting her I was constantly struggling with the fact that I might be gay. My upbringing made me believe that being gay was wrong and so I always tried to convince myself that that’s not who I was. For awhile it worked. I think I wanted so bad to be straight that I just made myself believe I was. I got married to my wife at 23 and for a short time after our wedding I was relieved. I thought ‘Yes, I knew it. I knew I just had to find someone who would clear all this up for me!’ That just came crashing down. We started having sex more to try and get pregnant and that caused me realise [sic] that I am a gay man. I’m not remaining in the closet because I’m too scared of my wife’s reaction. In fact she would probably be the most forgiving. I have decided not to come out because of my family. I’m not exaggerating when I say that they will disown me. They wouldn’t think twice about it. I wouldn’t be happy. I would be lost. Now that I have children that just scares me even more. I wouldn’t ser [sic] them much at all and that’s not an option for me… There are many things I wish I had done differently but I do not regret any of my choices because they’ve all led me to where I am today. My son and daughter are these amazing little people. I live in a great house with a loving and sweet little family. Our marriage (sham marriage as some people have pointed out) is a good one despite my sexuality. Our marriage is healthier than some that I know about and hear about. I have accepted that I may never come out and I’ve learnt to be okay with that. I will consider going to therapy too. This is the most I have ever talked about it. Up until now I have not told a soul and so I have really swept everything under the rug. It is amazing what you can block out if you really try.”
  “I once helped out my a female friend’s family by taking care of their cat for a week. Every day for a week, I would go over there and snoop around their house. I found my friend’s diary, and proceeded to read the entire thing. I used this information to get her to like me, and she is currently my wife.”
  “I have lesbian sex with my best friend about once a month. Neither of us say anything to our husbands. We drink a good bottle of wine, get tipsy, get nasty, and fall asleep. When we wake up, we laugh, kiss, and go about our lives.”
“No ones going to probably find this comment, but I have an addiction to prostitutes. I can’t control myself. I’m also married and my wife has no idea. I spent $2000 on our credit card while she was overseas for 3 weeks. I lied and told her that I had a gambling problem, that’s why I spent so much. Little does she know, I was bringing hookers home.”
  “I’m a guy with a foot fetish. And I -never- told my wife even though she has amazing feet. BUT it gets worse – I have a weird twist to my foot fetish. I’m really into ‘pedal pumping’ (i guess that’s the closest way to describe it) and I’m mortified to tell her or anyone else, and never have. When I was a little kid we spent a LOT of time at church during the week for mom’s choir practice and there was a decent looking piano player lady who would kick off her shoes and play the piano barefoot. And even though I knew nothing of my sexuality, I remember Saturday afternoons, being up on the stage/pulpit during boring choir practice, laying on the carpet, playing with Matchbox cars and trying not to make it seem glaringly obvious that I was transfixed watching this lady’s bare foot pushing on that piano pedal…
I was totally transfixed, and it continues to this day. Women playing pianos, organs, driving barefoot, using a sewing machine barefoot. My fantasies usually always involve me imagining myself as the pedal, and the woman has a sexy bare, nylon, or sock clad foot. If it’s a smelly foot even better. I feel guilty and stupid to this day. Why on earth would a fetish like that develop when I was a prepubescent kid?”
  “When i was in 8th grade i fell in love with my girlfriend. I never thought it would be possible for someone so young could have such strong feelings. The relationship didn’t last more than three months because my mom and step-dad divorced and i had to move. I thought about her every day since i moved away. I met another person and have been married for 20 years now. I have four kids and have no complaints about my wife. Five years ago through social media i was able to correspond with 8th grade girlfriend. It turns out that she still has feelings for me too. I have been faithful to my wife for our entire marriage but want more than anything to be with my first love.”
http://ift.tt/2xOOyzD
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