#as a muppet trapped in a flesh prison
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Reblog if you are autistic and haven't flipped a sieg heil to a crowd of cheering people.
109 notes · View notes
pxppet · 2 years ago
Text
Anti is old; Anti is powerful. He is a lesser god among the company he would keep, so long ago that the taste of freedom from this night means nothing. He sits on the sofa of an abandoned house. He is in the fields with the faeries. He is in the sky amidst a storm under his control. He is in a cabin in the woods. He is in an expanding void bickering over power-plays. He's in a bedroom carving a pumpkin.
His eyes refocus, glaring across at the wall. Now there is a friend he could call to. He hasn't seen him in so long. Always so quiet while following his commands, always giddy and light-headed over bloodshed. That is a friend he can call on.
A signal, a blip so small you would miss it unless you knew Anti and his powers. This signal penetrates a neighboring IRIS long-term storage unit. It wriggles its way through electricity, squeezing itself through claustrophobic cords along floors and ceilings until-
In an all white room is a man with wires in his skull. His hands are moving as though puppeteering a play. Dancing invisible marionettes, flapping the mouths of muppets. He is bedraggled and dressed in the same clothes he has worn since he was born. A long time ago. A long, long time ago. The wires play a simulation into his very neurons. To keep the ALTR distracted and happy; to keep him manageable.
Something is amiss, says he, brushing at a sudden pressure on his wrist. He pauses his play, gesturing quizzically to his audience. He watches the silent expressions he knows are laughter despite never hearing it. He tugs off the white string and continues his play.
The signal makes another push, this time into a completely different kind of electricity. The signal worms through the chemicals being fried into his head and shoves at the simulated world.
The ALTR spasms in the empty room, but in his head he is being overtaken and grabbed and grappled just like his own puppets. He contorts himself in pain, the signal forcing him to NOTICE ME.
The wires in the ALTRS head sizzle and burn themselves out. Dissociated, stuck somewhere between the false world and that empty room. Sways back and forth, strings phasing in and out.
The ALTR wakes from the simulation, panting, on the floor. The wires ache and burn into his flesh. He rips them out, not caring about the alarms that sound. His breath moves faster, faster, trembling. He touches his overgrown facial hair in a daze. No employee enters his room. This is an ALTR who should never be free. This is a man that indulged in bloodshed enough for a prison worse than this. He stands, or attempts to at least, shaking to his feet like a fawn. The only sound he can hear is his own breathing, his heart pounding into the water in his ears.
"I, I, I" he points with his hands over and over. "Keeper. Holder. I. R. I. S." His face twists into something quite unpolite- Oh, perhaps a bit rude of him. Perhaps a touch scary, and whatnot? There are employees at the observation glass, faces hidden behind protective suits. They do not enter the room. They are frozen, in the literal and supernatural sense. They are kept at a total standstill in both time and space. The entire room, and leaking into the open doorways, is a monochrome aura. It still everything that it touches, down to an ant on the desk. Frozen, so still, and yet he's giving them the mercy of allowing their hearts to beat.
He tsks, and waves his hand. The blood in every creature trapped in his aura slows to a stop, and he watches his captors suffocate slowly, tediously. Such a bother, so many people gone. What a pickle. Oh well.
"JJ," he spells to himself happily. "Jameson Jackson~" he calls with his sign name into the dead still air. A soundless giggling blooms in his chest, smiling as his aura recedes and drops too many corpses to count in their place.
Jameson tiptoes cartoonishly to the doorway, peeping out his head. No one in sight. The world does loo quite odd compared to the last time he saw these halls. HIGH RISK, screams every sign on the walls. I know I am, he thinks as he half skips half stumbles down the hall.
Joy, joy, joy to be out of that box. But who was that, that little slip up that's set him loose? He hides around empty corners and jumps out at imaginary enemies, laughing without a sound. His chest wheezes and only he can hear his slow breath, the opus and eye of his own hurricane.
Anti, the name drifts into his mind like a static shock, making him jolt to a stop. His own blood , a pumpkin, a friend and enemy and hate and love and death- He blinks, the moment passing. His face goes from haunted and grim back into an entertainer's grin. So an old friend made his way out, then. How thoughtful of him to set JJ free too.
Jameson's suit vest and tie are neat and perfect, colourless in the center of a wavering aura of power. He smiles, stepping unstopped out of the employee exit.
Anti feels the power enter the atmosphere, hell, any creature on god's green Earth would feel that surging stillness on that day. Anti grins, staring through the ceiling to the waves of grey in the sky. He has to hold back a laugh, to keep his human asleep and unknowing. But he hisses through his smiling teeth like a snake, and feels the utter stillness and smell of dust hit him across the face.
Well then, chap, Jameson signals in return. Time for a bloody good show.
Year of Whump January 15 Prompt!
experimental injection / threatening loved ones / warehouse / warm bubble bath / “I promise this won’t hurt”
Posting early because I was very inspired! An AU that includes IRIS for once. This is a glimpse into some ideas I've had for a while now, enjoy!
CW: kidnapping, inhumane science experiments, dehumanization, captivity, muzzles, restraint, autistic character being overstimulated, manipulative caretaker, nightmares, human weapon trope & mention
▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸
The doctors- if you can even call them that - surround Jackie, they stink of gauze and chemicals and death, death, death. The whole of the IRIS building stinks of it. Jackie could smell it even before they'd begun to inject him with this pale, glowing green liquid.
"Hold him still," someone commands. Useless, Jackie has been stronger, and stronger still, with each passing day. "You are safe, Mr. Reid." He lets out a scream, like a big cat's roar, as the needle presses into his stretch-marked false muscles. He's sobbing, biting, thrashing. The metal restraints are bending and bowing with his strength.
The doctors just watch, stare, eyes behind goggles observing him like a prized cut of steak; like a natural disaster. Jackie gnashes at a hand coming near him, but the IRIS doctors have had him muzzled since he bit one scientists hand off entirely. Jackie doesn't know why he chewed, why he swallowed, and why it felt fantastic.
He bangs his head back against the metal table over, and over, as green liquid shines through his skin in every vein inside his contorted body. He screams out at them, at god, at anyone. He's begging for his mother, he's threatening them with death. Nothing he says will matter, he is an animal to them. He grinds his teeth so hard on the bit of the muzzle it snaps in half. He swallows the plastic without hesitation, choking it down just to be rid of it.
His metal table is wheeled through monochrome hallways as his cries turn to begging and whimpering, the medicine slowing and settling.
---
"The date is September 12th, 2017. State your name for the record."
"J-jackson Reid," he trembles out into the muzzle.
"Mr. Reid, may you state the reason for being at this facility."
"Test- testing. I v-volunteered." His muscles strain, too big and powerful for him, he used to be so lean and fit, now he looks like a freak. He knows he must.
"What drug are you here to test, Mr. Reid." The scientist's eyebrow raises observing, watching, like any other eye or camera shoved at him.
"I don't know."
"Subject has forgotten name of experiment, refer to psychiatrist for evaluation-"
"I don't want another fucking shrink!" Jackie feels the rage but distant, not him, him but not him.
"Calm down Mr. Reid. You are safe in the care of our psychiatrists I assure you."
"Can we just do this another time?" Something is surging in him, but it always is these days. "Please just let me sleep."
The scientist stares hard at him. "For now, fine. But you must complete the questionnaire at least once weekly, as you know. It will not hurt you."
"I know," he says, small.
She leaves, and he tries to find any comfort in the metal prison of a bed.
--
Jackie is awoken suddenly. A light is shining in his room. Great, what's this fucking place doing now, is his groaned thought.
Until a figure steps out of the light. They look around, and glowing eyes land on him. Jackie tenses, the metal groaning. Adrenaline pumps into him, and its painful. He cries out. A hand falls over his mouth. He gasps into it, staring up.
"Looks painful. Get some rest, love." The strangers voice is echoing, resonating, surrounding him. Yes… Yes he would like some sleep. Rest would be good. Yeah.
He sleeps.
--
Jackie slips into the waking world in a slow, climbing jump into awareness. He feels warm, tired, slippery. He raises his hands, and through a fog he sees… bubbles.
He jolts up, gasping. His hand lightly cracks the blue-green bathtub below him. He winces and pulls it away, gritting his teeth in preemptive apology. But no one is around. Jackie can hear them though. In the house next door, in the street outside, and… in the next room over. He sits up, water sloshing around him.
"Hello?" he calls. The sound of someone saying "shit", followed by rustling, and someone moving to just outside the door. It opens upon someone in a black robe with a black mask over the top half of their face.
"Hi," they speak. Their voice is rough, worn out, and distinctly a northern English accent. They smell like they've just rolled in freshly mowed grass then dumped river water on themself. "Before anything- You're safe. Don't use your muscles too much, they're all torn, literally all. You've been strained for so long I can't even guess."
"Who… Am I still in IRIS? Are- Will you-" Jackie backs against the wall behind the bath slowly, trying to seem compliant and small. The indented scar along his cheeks and nose grimly keep his mind on pain, pain, pain. "Don't hurt me."
The masked person sighs. "Like I said, you're safe. Jackson Reid?"
"Jackie," he corrects too quickly. "P-please just- just Jackie."
The person smiles, warm and friendly. "Jackie. I can't tell you my name yet. But you can call me The Cat, if you want."
"The… That is so fucking formal. Where am I?"
"I can't tell you, but you're-"
""Stop! Don't- don't say that a-anymore, please don't." Jackie holds his own head, trembling.
"Okay," the person agrees quickly. They move to sit beside the tub. Jackie blinks at them, arms curled near his chest like a tyrannosaurus. "I can tell you a thing or two, but just that. You're in my boss' apartment. I'm taking care of you. The bubble bath is a spell of mine, it helps the healing of tissue."
"Magic. M-may as fucking well exist after the shit I've s-seen."
"Have you always had a stutter?"
"What does- does it matter?"
"We're worried the experimental shit they tricked you into damaged your brain. One of us- there's an 'us' by the way- can work with heads and hearts. She took a look and there's… weird shit, let's just say."
This makes Jackie snort, despite it all. "Weird shit? That's the b-best you got huh?"
The stranger sends him a wry smile. "When it comes to the fuckers at IRIs, it could be anything. I'm… sorry. You were just a citizen. You didn't deserve this. Not that those- those asswipes fucking care."
Jackie hums, and lays back into the water. He hasn't stopped shaking since he's woken up. The masked person tsks and reaches out, holding Jackie's arm. Jackie jolts, but he was trained to not pull away. He sits still for the examination, letting himself be bathed. He doesn't even want to know the punishments a magical person would give. IRIS's were enough.
---
Hours later, Jackie has been laid to sleep in the guest room of the house. The mask finally comes off. Long hair tumbles down as the hood is removed.
Marvin scratches long nails through their hair, shaking it out and sighing. Unnatural, inhuman blue eyes scan the coffee table. They pick up their burner phone and pull up the photo gallery. Plopping onto their boss' sofa, they scroll through photos of several dark haired chilren and teens with their mum. A cruel joke compared to the muzzle-scarred man with over-stretched, bulking muscle on a too small frame. They've been stalking Jackson for their boss for months. He's an asset, one who will become a great soldier for them. IRIS will be expecting him, sure, but expectations mean nothing in the face of the beast they've created.
Marvin's eyes downcast, then close. The death threats they were ordered to send Jackson Reid's family still disturb them. But they had to make sure; Jackson has to have connections to no one but their team from here on. They puff out a stressed breath, and pull the blanket and pillows from the back of the sofa to form a bed. Their boss will be home to de-brief Jacks- Jackie tomorrow, then they can begin training him properly. For now the healing bath and a good rest should help him begin to see the coven as safe.
Marvin curls up, and sleeps.
Jackie tosses an turns in his sleep, nightmaring of a metal muzzle digging through his flesh until his teeth fall out. He will wake to a new life - well, a new, new life - tomorrow. A mattress and blankets will soothe out the knots made by the metal and medication. He is no longer a prisoner. Things can only go up from here, Jackie is sure.
63 notes · View notes
weekendwarriorblog · 5 years ago
Text
The Weekend Warrior 12/13/19: JUMANJI: THE NEXT LEVEL, BLACK CHRISTMAS, RICHARD JEWELL, BOMBSHELL and more!
Woooooooo!!! We’re starting to get to the end of the year with only three more weekends of new movies before we’re into 2020, which on one hand, has to be better than 2019, but maybe not in terms of box office with no “Avengers” or “Star Wars” movie in sight.
Tumblr media
Sony Pictures is releasing the second-to-last sequel of the weekend, JUMANJI: THE NEXT LEVEL, which brings back all of your faves, including Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Karen Gillan, and introduces a new character played by Awkwafina. I reviewed the movie over at The Beat, and also discussed its box office prospects
I also will have a review of Sophia Takal’s horror remake BLACK CHRISTMAS (Universal) over at The Beat, but that’s mainly interesting since it’s the second remake of the ‘70s horror movie, this one produced by Blumhouse.  I really liked Sophia Takal’s previous movie Always Shine, so I’m definitely interested to see what she does with a mainstream horror film.
You can read my reviews of both those movies over at The Beat, although the Black Christmas review is embargoed until Thursday night… make of that what you will. Plus you can read more about the three wide releases over at my weekly Box Office Preview.
Tumblr media
One movie I haven’t reviewed over there is Clint Eastwood’s latest, RICHARD JEWELL (Warner Bros.), which stars Paul Walter Hauser as the famed Atlanta security guard who discovered a bomb in the city’s Centennial Park and was then accused of planting the bomb there to be seen as a hero. The movie also stars Sam Rockwell (as Richard’s lawyer), Kathy Bates (as Richard’s mother), Jon Hamm as the FBI guy who is after him and Olivia Wilde as the Atlanta reporter who first breaks the story about Jewell being a suspect. I’m going to try to write a mini-review for this one, but long and short of it, is that this is another really good movie from Eastwood, and if I get a chance, I will write more about it soon.
LIMITED RELEASES
There are a bunch of great movies coming out in limited release, some that will expand wider later in the month.
Tumblr media
First and foremost is Jay Roach’s BOMBSHELL (Lionsgate), starring Charlize Theron as Megyn Kelly and Nicole Kidman as Gretchen Carlson, and if you know those names, then you might already realize that this film written by Charles Randolph (The Big Short) is about the Fox News sexual abuse scandal. Margot Robbie also stars in this one, as does John Lithgow as Roger Aisles, plus there’s lots of other great character actors in roles as people you might know from the news (both on camera and behind the scenes).  I was hoping to write a fuller review of this and maybe still will but didn’t have time before getting this column out. Regardless, this is a very intriguing and entertaining film (just like The Big Short) with fantastic performances by all. The movie will expand nationwide next Friday.
Josh and Ben Safdie are back with UNCUT GEMS (A24), starring Adam Sandler as a New York jewelry merchant who gets his hands on a rare South African gem, and then spends the entire movie trying to get it back after lending it out to star basketball player Kevin Garnett (playing himself). I wasn’t really a very big fan of the Safdies’ Good Time, which Millennial critics tend to cream all over, but Uncut Gems is definitely better even if it’s similarly manic. Sandler’s definitely good in the role, but awards-worthy? Not even close… I think this ia good movie being sold by people as a great movie, and I couldn’t disagree more. If you liked Good Time, you’ll probably like this, too. This will be nationwide on Christmas Day.
Terrence Malick is also back, continuing his amazingly prolific degree of filmmaking in his mid-70s with A HIDDEN LIFE (Fox SEarchlight), a three-hour drama about an Austrian farmer (August Diehl) who refuses to swear allegiance to Hitler as WWII begins, which first makes him a bit of a pariah in his rural community but eventually gets him thrown in prison for treason. Valerie Pachner is quite terrific as his wife, and the movie has some great smaller roles for Matthias Schoenaerts, the late Michael Nyqvist, Bruno Ganz and Jürgen Prochnow. If you’re a fan of Malick’s better films than
Kristen Stewart plays French New Wave actress Jean Seberg in Benedict Andrews’ SEBERG (Amazon), about how the actress got into a relationship with Hakim Jamal (played by Anthony Mackie), causing trouble for her career. The movie also stars Margaret Qualley (Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood), Jack O’Connell, Zazie Beetz and Stephen Root, and it will get a limited release this weekend.
Stephen and Robbie Amell star in Jeff Chan’s Code 8 (Elevation Pictures), Robbie playing Connor Reed, a guy with superpowers living in a world where those with powers are minimalized and living in poverty. In desperate need of money to help his ailing mother, Connor gets in with a powered thug named Garrett (played by his cousin, Stephen) to use his powers for elaborate heists. It’s a surprisingly good movie, mainly due to Jeff Chan’s ability to create a big movie on a seemingly limited budget.
You can check out the trailer and Chan’s original short film that inspired the feature below, and my interview with Robbie Amell will be on The Beat on Thursday sometime.
youtube
youtube
Steven Luke’s The Great War (Saban/Lionsgate), opening in select cities Fridays, takes place during the last days of WWI where a regiment of African-American “Buffalo Soldiers” are trapped behind enemy lines. When one escapes, he asked to join an all-white troop to find the survivors.s
An interesting doc, especially for lovers of dance, is Alla Kogvan’s documentary Cunningham (Magnolia), which uses 3D technology to explore the life and work of the late choreographer Merce Cunningham (who would be celebrating his centennial anniversary this year), combining archival footage with newly-created performances of Cunningham’s greatest work. This movie reminded me quite a bit of Wim Wenders’ doc Pina in that I enjoyed this, despite having zero to no interest in dance in general. It will open at the Film Forumin New York on Friday, as well as Film at Lincoln Centeruptown, the Royal in L.A, the Arclight in Sherman Oaks and Edwards Westpark 8 in Irvine.
Xavier Dolan’s latest film The Death and Life of John Donovan (Momentum), stars Kit Harington, Natalie Portman, Susan Sarandon, Kathy Bates, Thandie Newton, Jacob Tremblay and more. It’s about the relationship between a young actor and a TV star that takes place ten years after the latter’s death. It will open in select cities and On Demand.
Lastly, there’s Danny Abeckaser’s MAFIA drama Mob Town (Saban Films), starring David Arquette, Jennifer Esposito, Jamie-Lynn Sigler and PJ Byrne.
Also, next Monday, Trafalgar Releasing is releasing Gorillaz: Reject False Icons, a new concert doc about Damon Alban’s Blur spin-off group with comic artist Jamie Hewett.
STREAMING AND CABLE
Michael Bay’s action-comedy 6 UNDERGROUND (Netflix), starring Ryan Reynolds, will get a very limited release Weds. before debuting on the service on Friday. I really don’t know much about it other than it’s about six specialists come together to do stuff.
REPERTORY
METROGRAPH (NYC):
This weekend, the Metrograph begins a fairly self-explanatory series called “Malick: The First Four Films” to coincide with the release of A Hidden Life (see above), although 2005’s The New World won’t screen until next weekend. Also, the theater also continues its annual “Holidays at Metrograph” series with Billy Wilder’s 1960 Oscar winner The Apartment screening Saturday and Sunday. Welcome To Metrograph: Redux continues with David Lean’s Brief Encounter  (1945) on Wednesday and Otto Premingers’ Bunny Lake is Missing  (1965) on Friday and Saturday. This week’s Late Nites at Metrograph  is David Lynch’s Dune (1984) while Playtime: Family Matinees is the 1992 The Muppet Christmas Carol.
ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE BROOKLYN (NYC)
Tonight’s “Weird Wednesday” is Blue Vengeance from 1989, while the weekend’s “Kids Camp” is last year’s animated The Grinch. On Monday evening is a 10thanniversary screening of Vernon Chatman’s Final Flesh. Tuesday’s “Terror Tuesday” is the original Black Christmas from 1974 (already sold out), and “Weird Wednesday” is the 1985 thriller Trancers, hosted by John Torrani.
THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):
The Weds. Afternoon Classics matinee is The Thin Man (1934), starring William Powell and Myrna Loy, while Friday’s “Freaky Fridays” offering is the original 1933 James Whale movie The Invisible Man. The Weds/Thurs double feature is Todd Haynes’ Carol (2015) and Far from Heaven (2002) with DP Ed Lachman appearing on Weds (sorry, sold out!). Saturday and Sunday offers the Kiddee Matinee of A Christmas Story, as well as a special “Holiday Edition” of the New Bev’s Cartoon Club. Friday’s midnight is Tarantino’s own Reservoir Dogs, while Saturday midnight is the holiday horror film Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984). Monday’s Matinee is Bad Santa, starring Billy Bob Thornton and Monday night’s screening is Ingmar Bergman’s Fanny and Alexander (1982).
FILM FORUM (NYC):
“Scorsese Non-Fiction” will continue through December 17 with screenings this week of Rolling Thunder Revue and Shine a Light, as well as another screening of A Personal Journey with Martin Scorsese through American MoviesFriday, and screenings of the classics The Last Waltz and No Direction Home: Bob Dylan on Sunday.The 70th anniversary 4k restoration of Alec Guinness’ Kind Hearts and Coronets will continue through December 19 with screenings at 12:30 and 6:10pm each day. This weekend’s Film Forum Jr. is the Disney animated film The Aristocrats (1970).
EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):
After an encore screening of Auntie Mame (1958) on Thursday, the Egyptian will screen a David O. Russell hosted screening of Tourneur’s 1919 film The Broken Butterfly with musical accompaniment on Friday. Saturday night is “Retroformat 10thAnniversary” sponsored by the George Lucas Family Foundation, showing two hours of movies from the early 20thCentury with musical accompaniment. Saturday night is a Spike Jonze double feature of Being John Malkovich and Three Kings, while Adam Driver will continue his awards campaign run by appearing for a double feature of Noah Baumbach’s Marriage Storywith Jim Jarmusch’s Paterson.
AERO  (LA):
Terry Gilliam will be appearing in person on Friday night for a TRIPLE FEATURE (!!!) of The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, Time Banditsand The Adventures of Baron Munchausen… which makes me really wish I lived in L.A. On Saturday, screenwriters Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski will screen their new movie My Name is Dolemite along with Tim Burton’s Ed Wood  (1994). Edward Norton and Primal Fear  (1995) producer Hawk Koch will appear on Sunday afternoon for a double feature of the latter (in which Norton stars) along with Norton’s own new film, Motherless Brooklyn. Tuesday’s “Christmas Noir” Is Nicholas Ray’s debut TheyLive By Night (1949).
MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):
MOMI’s own Terrence Malick series ends this weekend with screenings of Voyage of Time: Life’s Journey on Friday and Sunday, The New World: Limited Releas Version on Saturday, as well as The Thin Red Line on Sunday evening. Monday, there is a free screening of Martin Scorsese’s Casino (1995) as part of “Martin Scorsese: Four Movies over Four Decades.” Saturday’s family matinee is Hiroyuki Morita’s 2002 film The Cat Returns, while John Cassavetes’ Gloria (1980) will screen on Sunday afternoon as part of the ongoing “Always on Sunday: Greek Film Series.”
MOMA  (NYC):
This week’s new series is called “The Wonders” and it’s the first American retrospective of writer-director Alice Rohrwacher and the actress Alba Rohrwacher. I’m really not that familiar with either although Rohrwacher’s Happy as Lazzaro last year was fairly well-received.Modern Matinees: Iris Barry’s History of Filmal so continues this week with Hamlet  (1920) today, Greed  (1924) tomorrow and a program called “Great Actresses of the Past 1911 – 1916” on Friday.
IFC CENTER (NYC)
Weekend Classics: May All Your Christmases be Noir will be screening Charles Laughton’s 1955 film The Night of the Hunter, starring Robert Mitchum;  Waverly Midnights: Spy Games will screen Hitchcock’s North by Northwest; and Late Night Favorites: Autumn 2019 will show Aliens and Eraserhead.
FILM AT LINCOLN CENTER (NYC):
Not much to report except that there will be an encore screening of the 2001 Korean blockbuster My Sassy Girl on Thursday afternoon.
ROXY CINEMA (NYC)
Continuing its Nicolas Cage vintage series with 1991’s Zandalee on Wednesday, Barbet Schroeder’s Kiss of Death (1995) on Thursday and Sunday.
LANDMARK THEATRES NUART  (LA):
0 notes
Text
I think it's wrong to overly criticize neurotypicals just for existing. If we didn't have NTs we wouldn't have honey. I love honey so much but if it were left to my autistic ass it'd be unharvestable. If you put a single teaspoon of honey on my hand I'd melt into the floor and die. But I watch these videos of people harvesting honey and it's pouring everywhere, all over the knife and their hands. I feel the same way about bartenders, they get simple syrup and citrus juice everywhere just so I can have a daiquiri.
In closing, I do not like feeling sticky, but I like things that might make me sticky; that is why we have NTs.
19 notes · View notes
Text
If Kermit had a tongue Ms. Piggy would not be capable of standing.
3 notes · View notes
Text
Everytime I join a new social media I think "this time it'll be different, I'll join in and do it right" then I don't.
I think MySpace and Facebook very early on were the only places I participated. Until Tumblr anyway. I feel like I'm doing Tumblr right. I don't post often but I could and that's what counts.
1 note · View note
Text
One of the most important things someone ever said to me was that I articulate my arms like a Muppet. I took this as an enlightenment moment and have lived my life to make Gonzo proud of me.
1 note · View note