#as a man you are 250 times more likely to be raped than to be falsely accused of rape.

[facelesspassport]

I have personally been falsely accused of rape by a woman before. I have also been raped before... Please, Guess which one was worse. Guess which thing I think about every fucking day of my life. Guess which was more mentally, physically, and psychologically scarring- being falsely accused of rape or being raped. GUESS.

[howdoyousleep3]

Hey, mama. I'm not American but I live in a country with very strict laws about LGBT and porn and stuff. And you know what, literally NOTHING changed with these laws. Noone can take your queerness from you, noone can forbid you be who you are (woman, man, non binary, whatever). But I've never thought you'd be THAT angry over something that didn't even happen yet. Don't you understand ppl vote against this anger ("fuck men", "make everyone uncomfy", "double the suffering and gelive it to trump")? I have no respect for anyone who's trying to take yours from you. But you're doing exactly what they want to do. The only difference is they are against queer and you're against straight. You can send me to hell or not reply in any way. But in a four year time you'll see, that your life didn't cange much. Trust me. People always find the way to do what they want to do. Breathe out girl. Everything's gonna be okay. Even if it doesn't seem like it now.

Yes, I will take this opportunity to “send you to hell”, thank you lol

This is all a backwards line of thinking. This isn’t just another candidate that’s running for President and another candidate that we’ll move on from in four years; this is a man that’s been elected President that will alter and change the trajectory of our country and our government structures itself. Democracy will no longer exist the way that it has for 250 years, if at all.

He has already made announcements of forcing the government to only acknowledge two genders, of punishing teachers with civil crimes if they try and teach anything but, of altering education in schools to only teach about man and wife, man and woman.

What do you mean, “breathe out”?

This is the man that overturned Roe v. Wade, that stripped women of the rights to their bodies. He appointed extreme and conservative Supreme Court Justices that will make similar decisions for this country until the day they die. This is the man that wants to force all women to have unwanted pregnancies at any age, for any reason, even if it might kill them and even if they are the product of rape. He wants to make it illegal for pregnant women to cross state lines, wants the government to track women’s periods, wants to get rid of birth control as a whole.

“Breathe out”?

He wants to make interracial marriage illegal, wants to make gay marriage illegal, wants to get rid of the Department of Education and radicalize education to where everyone prays in school and learns a very white-washed education (moreso than now) that focuses on how amazing America is. He wants to jeopardize school funding more than it is and wave it over districts heads as a threat. Public school and children will suffer more than it ever has.

That’s just scratching the surface.

It shouldn’t matter that it hasn’t happened yet; we’ve barely recovered from the effects of his last presidency. The hate he encouraged and spewed is something I’m not sure we’ll ever recover from at all. It hasn’t happened yet, but he’s outlined exactly how it’s going to happen and exactly what we should expect.

And you think I should take a deep breath?

I’m happy that your life is exactly the same as it was before your laws were put into place. But this is WAY more than a focus on LGBTQIA+ communities. This is our entire livelihood. This is our entire government, country, communities, futures at stake. And this is extremely personal, even as a white woman in a straight presenting relationship. I can’t imagine the fear that any woman or person of color or any trans person or anyone in a gay marriage is feeling.

I’m angry for myself, my two young daughters. I’m angry for the women in my life who have to put their future plans on hold or who have to decide right now if they want to get pregnant or start a family now and are mourning for the loss of it. I’m angry for my best friend who is a woman of color who now has to wait and see if her marriage will end up being legal, whose safety I worry for every single day. I’m angry for all of my trans friends who have to yet again question why this country hates them so much and doesn’t cherish and love them for existing as they are.

I’m angry. I feel rage in my body and spirit that I have not once felt before and that’s with me being one of the lucky ones to receive generations of trauma and anger I have to work through. I’ve never felt anger like this, this stagnant, still, villain era anger. And I’ll be damned if I don’t use it for good because I think it’s ridiculous of you to say that I should be quiet and let the other side, the side that instills fear in others and wishes to take away their very basic human rights, be louder than I am.

Fuck that to the highest degree.

I’m about to use my privilege to scream my love and my support for those in need from the highest of mountaintops. And if that comes in the form of screaming my hatred for men, the patriarchy, Republicans, and conservatives directly back to them then I sure as shit will be doing that; they are the ones with hate in their heart who are wishing to take away the rights of others. I didn’t vote for that. If my hatred comes in other forms like becoming a part of local community groups with like minds, supporting local and black-owned businesses, supporting my local library, educating my daughters to be empathetic and supportive, standing up for women in public if need be, then I will also sure as shit be doing that.

The world deserves my anger.

This was an ignorant ask to send. I don’t hate straight people; that’s just outright fucking stupid. I don’t think you’re educated enough on the subject to be sending me an ask that is effectively telling me to calm down, WHICH IS SO FUNNY because that’s what women are always told when they’re hysterical, because this is much much more than just the rights of LGBTQIA+ people and another President being elected.

Sure, I hope you’re right and that everything is the same in four years. But you’re wrong.

Sure, I’ll breathe out. But then I’m going to take a deep breath in and scream my support at the top of my lungs even if it comes in the form of hating men, conservatives, Republicans, and Trump.

Please don’t pretend as if you know me. This is the internet, this is fandom, this is somewhat of a persona.

Yes, I am angry. I can’t understand how people are not.

[taradactyls]

I think the one I see this most strongly with is Pamela; Or, Virtue Rewarded by Samuel Richardson.

It's hard to read in the modern day. Pamela is a servant girl who spends a lot of time trying not to be raped by her employer, who eventually kidnaps her, and the only other woman in a position to aid her actively helps the attempted rapist to assault her in various ways. At one point she holds Pamela down in bed so it can happen (apparently the woman is this awful because she's an atheist). At another time the employer actively says that he would've continued and actually raped her if she kept fighting him, it was only because Pamela fainted that he stopped the attempt. She woke up from that attempt with her stays (underwear) cut up.

Pamela ends up marrying this man, after realising she has fallen in love with him, who is then 'reformed' by her 'goodness.'

It's meant to be a happy and uplifting tale. Obviously, to us, it's more of a horror story.

We see the victim blame in 'if you'd kept fighting you would've been raped' and also know that being unconscious actually makes you more at risk, and understand that a woman who eventually gave in to her master's advances is not any less 'good' for fearing being violently raped (or worse) if she continued protesting. We are less likely to believe people can be so entirely reformed by the 'virtue' of others, and see a man who would take advantage of power dynamics like that as bad even if he wasn't so aggressive in his advances. There are no real consequences for his crimes and continued harassment of a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD in his employ and who had zero protection or options. It's just all round horrid to our modern eyes.

But in many ways it was actually progressive for the time.

Pamela is a servant who ends the book married (not mistress to) a gentleman with an estate and eventually being accepted and adored by the land owning class. This is a rise of a magnitude far higher than Elizabeth marrying Mr Darcy, Jane Eyre and Mr Rochester, or even Cinderella as she was highborn, and was really making the case that servant women could and do have as much inherent worth as gentlewomen by birth. For how classist 1740 England was, that's a controversial take.

And though it's considered a backwards view now, this was the first novel/work which was really reaching out to lower-class women and saying 'your virtue is worth as much as upper-class women.' I dislike the whole concept of sexual virtue and disagree that Pamela's virtue would be lost through rape, but the point remains that this book was making a case for greater equality between classes in a time where the ruling class relied on being considered naturally better by birth and chosen by god to rule. The novel was criticised for exactly this.

Not only that, but by promoting virginity, he was also championing a woman's right to say no. Pamela's ability and decision to refuse is upheld both positively and as what should have been the final word. The male main character only becomes a 'good' person once he truly understands and respects that. An idea only becomes outdated once the societal framework supporting the status quo has changed, and Samuel Richardson was writing in a time where a servant girl (or any woman really, for instance marital rape wouldn't become a crime for another 250 years) who refused her master's advances would have little recourse or sympathy if he didn't respect that no. This novel was telling all those girls your sexual autonomy is worth fighting for... you're worth fighting for.

And, though we see that Pamela's abuser essentially gets what he wanted and gets off scot-free (an illness and a change of heart isn't going to fly with a judge, you douche), it was revolutionary for the time in that it's told from the victim's perspective as a horrible series of events. These acts, many of which were common place and not illegal (some even actively considered romantic) at the time, was a criticism of many masculine behaviours and championed the woman's/victim's perspective. It drew attention to what we now consider domestic violence and abuse of power. Though we might argue about his methods (a minority of contemporary readers viewed the novel as salacious because of the inclusion of the assault scenes) the author's intent was to actively give moral instruction into proper domestic behaviour. Which, aside from 'sexually assaulting your employees is bad' does also include less radical and actively harmful views such as 'be loyal and loving to your employers no matter what.' Historical novels are a mixed bag like that, but he was still advocating for mutual social contracts towards each other, and rejecting the idea that the rich men who ruled the world could do whatever they wanted. He was speaking for the powerless against those in power.

I'll probably never read the book again, it was too uncomfortable for me, but without an understanding of the time it was written it would feel like gratuitous assault and a glorification of abusive relationships, when really, it was the exact opposite. We're just lucky enough to live in a society where many of his arguments have been accepted both socially and legally for so long that it's hard to imagine a case ever needed to be made in their favour.

tbh nothing frustrates me more then when people brush off classics like pride and prejudice or jane eyre because they don’t fit into today’s modern standards of feminism and social justice etc.

remember that these novels were published in the 19th century. and that some of the things that were written in these books may seem trivial to us today but would have absolutely fucking shook readers in the victorian era

like,,,,,elizabeth rejecting mr collins because she doesn’t love him even though it would have been considered her duty in her family to marry him? or jane eyre not agreeing to marry mr rochester unless it was on her own terms? hell even anne brontë wrote a lesser known novel about a wife leaving her abusive husband with her five year old son to live a better life?? do y’all realize how unheard of that would be in the 1800′s?? where women were considered more of a commodity than actual human beings??

even though they might not be up to todays standards of modern feminism and romance, they were still HUGE building blocks for equality for that time period. so if you’re a reader who says to themselves ‘I read classics with modern standards applied and I can’t get past that’ then you are most likely going to be disappointed when reading classics and not fully understand their significance to that time period 

[wazafam]

Between the 1980s and before a decline in the early 2000s, the erotic thriller was one of cinema's most popular and risque genres. Usually, an erotic thriller features storylines that focus heavily on romance and contain graphic nudity and sex scenes.

RELATED: 10 Great Thriller Movies You Won't Believe Are Not On IMDb's Top 250

Some of these films have been praised while some have been considered "trashy" for focusing more on the salacious elements instead of the story. And while not as popular today, recent hits like Fifty Shades Of Grey prove there is still a market. During its heyday, Hollywood produced some great erotic thrillers that are still viewed by audiences looking for a dangerous and naughty evening.

10 In The Cut (2003) - 5.3

Directed by acclaimed filmmaker Jane Campion, In The Cut's story revolves around a teacher, Frannie, (Meg Ryan) who gets questioned by an investigator, Malloy, (Mark Ruffalo) after the limb of a murdered girl is found in her garden. The two begin a relationship. but Frannie starts to suspect the murderer might be Malloy himself.

Upon release, the film was controversial for graphic sex and for Meg Ryan's nude scenes, which many believed to be brave due to her wholesome image and for normally appearing in light romantic comedies. Despite mixed reviews, Ryan's performance has been praised as one of her best.

9 Crash (1996) - 6.4

Perhaps one of the most controversial erotic thrillers of all time is Crash. Directed by acclaimed filmmaker David Cronenberg, the film concerns a TV director (James Spader) who gets involved with a group of people who become aroused after watching automobile collisions.

Crash's premiere screening at the Cannes Film Festival incited "boos," but it was awarded a Special Jury Prize, which jury president and Godfather director Francis Ford Coppola refused to present to Cronenberg, due to his distaste for the film. The movie was banned in many countries around the world because of its subject matter and sex scenes, and its American release was delayed for several months.

8 Wild Things (1998) - 6.5

During their popularity, erotic thrillers were mostly made for mature adults, however, Wild Things was aimed at the younger 20-something generation. The film concerns a guidance counselor (Matt Dillion) accused of rape by two female students, but the detective (Kevin Bacon) investigating the charge detects a conspiracy is afoot.

Remembered for its verging-on-pornographic sex scenes, Wild Things actually has some clever twists and turns, plus a surprising performance by Bill Murray. Salacious on the surface, audiences enjoyed the fact there was more to it than just sex. Notably, the end credits connect the dots for the viewer on the film's twists.

7 Sea Of Love (1989) - 6.8

Similar in premise to Basic Instinct, Sea Of Love concerns a detective (Al Pacino) on the trail of a serial killer. He attempts to find the killer by placing a personal ad for himself to lure them on a date, but he ultimately begins falling for one of the suspects (Ellen Barkin).

Unlike Basic Instinct, which puts emphasis on the sexual chemistry between the leads, Sea Of love puts the emphasis on the romantic chemistry, making the viewer hope the killer isn't the sexy Ellen Barkin. Over the years, Sea Of Love has become a favorite among Pacino fans.

6 Fatal Attraction (1987) - 6.9

Perhaps the most popular erotic thriller of all time, Fatal Attraction succeeds not because of its more lurid and graphic moments, but because those moments elevate and make more meaningful everything else in the movie.  The film concerns Dan (Michael Douglas), who has an affair with Alex (Glenn Close). Unfortunately, she grows attached to him, and when he tries to break off the relationship, he realizes she won't give him up easily, leading to dangerous consequences.

RELATED: 10 Best Thrillers Involving Husbands And Wives

Director Adrian Lyne crafts a thriller for adults with the intention to not just thrill and titillate but to ask viewers important questions about fidelity and marriage. Lyne would have similar success in the genre with Indecent Proposal and Unfaithful. Ultimately, Fatal Attraction was a huge box-office hit, earning a Best Picture Oscar nomination and a Best Actress Oscar nomination for Close's brilliant performance.

5 Basic Instinct (1992) - 7.0

Following Fatal Attraction's immense popularity, Basic Instinct kicked the genre into high gear. Erotic thriller veteran Michael Douglas stars alongside, at the time, rising star Sharon Stone. Douglas plays a detective, Nick, investigating a murder that resembles the work of a writer, Catherine Trammel. As Nick investigates further, he begins an affair with the seductive and possibly murderous Trammel.

Known at the time for its graphic sex scenes, Basic Instinct is not only salacious but a well-crafted, and at times, Hitchcockian thriller. The screenwriter, Joe Ezsterhas, would eventually write more erotic thrillers like Sliver, Jade, and others. A sequel, Basic Instinct 2, with Stone, would be released 14 years later, but by then the genre had declined in popularity.

4 Dressed To Kill (1980) - 7.1

Considered to be the erotic thriller that started the trend, Dressed To Kill is directed by suspense master Brian DePalma, who constructs the film with elaborate Hitchcock-style sequences. Starring Michael Caine, the plot concerns a woman who witnesses the murder of a psychiatrist's patient by a mysterious blonde woman, only to find herself the murderer's next target.

Praised by critics and audiences at the time for being suspenseful, lurid, and shocking, Dressed To Kill has since been considered problematic due to its depiction of women and violence toward them.

3 The Last Seduction (1994) - 7.1

After stealing drug money from her husband, sexy and alluring Bridget (Linda Fiorentino) flees to Chicago, seduces a local man, and devises a way to get him to kill her pursuing husband. Because of the script, the production company responsible for the movie felt The Last Seduction would be something for late-night television audiences that want a sexy watch, however, the filmmakers set out to make the movie something much more than that.

RELATED: Taxi Driver & 9 Other Neo-Noir Masterpieces

Despite being an erotic thriller, the film received great reviews upon release for its wit, dry humor, and especially for Linda Fiorentino's sexy performance. In the years since, viewers have praised Fiorentino's character as a refreshing spin on the femme fatale character type.

2 Bound (1996) - 7.3

Before the Wachowskis directed The Matrix, they needed to make a "practice film" to prove they could do it, and the result was Bound - an erotic thriller about two lesbian lovers who attempt to steal millions of mafia money. At the time, it was rare for a  lesbian relationship, let alone lesbian sex, to be depicted in a mainstream film.

When released, critics praised the film's stylish direction and neo-noir plot, and for having LGBTQ+ leads without the plot revolving around it. From there, the Wachowskis went on to make The Matrix and more cinematic history.

1 Body Heat (1981) - 7.4

Inspired by the classic film Double Indemnity, Body Heat centers around lawyer Ned (William Hurt), who kills the wealthy husband of his sexy lover, Matty (Kathleen Turner), so that she can inherit his money and they can run away together. However, Ned soon discovers Matty isn't who she seems.

At the time, the film was noted for its many graphic sex scenes, with even more left on the cutting room floor. Fortunately, what director Lawrence Kasdan clearly really cared about was the hard-boiled thriller elements, which are stylish and skillfully crafted. In addition, Kathleen Turner gives a powerhouse and obviously sexy performance in her screen acting debut.

NEXT: 10 Best Movies About Cheating And Infidelity, According To IMDb

10 Best Erotic Thrillers, Ranked By IMDb | ScreenRant from https://ift.tt/33BFltx

[sedehaven]

Saving Ophelia Grace’s Toe

Y’all seem to like my stories about being a witch in the Bible Belt, so here’s another one. This is a coming of age story about a young witch (me), a bunch of adults of various degrees of uselessness, and Ophelia Grace’s rotten toe.

This is not a happy story.

Names changed when necessary.

CW: Body squick, graphic injury, incompetent nurse, malevolent nurse, poisoning, bureaucratic nightmares, dark DARK shit ahead

So, in spite of the crushing poverty that I grew up in, I was given the opportunity to attend a very prestigious boarding school for Juniors and Seniors in Klan Kountry, LA. It’s a public school, so it takes kids from all over the state.

My school was run by a dude named Brother Dave.

Brother Dave was so awful that one of our senior pranks (I DID NOT DO THIS) involved a password-protected screensaver on every communal computer in the school (including, I think, Brother Dave’s office computer) of a bouncing, 3-D image of this:

Dude was NOT well-loved. It is important to know that he and I did not get along. When I was still a prospective student, he told us that our mascot was the mighty Eagle, because Eagles Flock Together.

Y’all. Someone watched himself too much Mighty Ducks.

I replied, loud enough for the whole auditorium to hear, “That’s not true, sir. Eaglettes push their smaller and weaker siblings out of the nest as soon as they can.”

He looked to the staff for support, red-faced and embarrassed by this ninety-pound child who stole his thunder.

The biology teacher (who left for greener pastures after my first year--rumored to have been forced out for being too fabulously dykey for the new administration) looked at him and stated, in her very particular and crisp fashion, “Well, she’s right.”

Safe to say, he hated me from the start. So, if you read this and you wonder, “Why didn’t this silly kid just go to the grown-up?” That’s why. He was our grown-up.

Brother Dave started at the school the year before I did. He was brought in by a local Senator, because said local Senator Fucked Up Colossally.

Senator Fuckup was running against Mr. Sketchy Businessman. Mr. Sketchy Businessman was backed by the Ku Klux Klan (a big deal in parts of the world, folks. My school was in David Duke country.)

Senator Fuckup had a fancy name--well-respected all around the state. Like, several statues of one of his relations decorate the state capital. Big name.

Problem is, Senator Fuckup is half-Black.

In Klan Kountry.

Y’all.

So he’s already at a disadvantage. As it turns out, it takes a village to start a magnet school. Senator Fuckup was one of the founding board members, and promised all kinds of benefits if they put the school in HIS district.

Their other offer was in my own hometown, the Hub City, where several of our major state highways cross with two Interstates.A place with art and history and culture. A place with one of the largest outdoor music festivals in the state--a multicultural, international music festival! With art walks and museums and Mardi Gras parades! With a three-story library, a library for French language and culture, and the second-largest university in Louisiana!

Senator Fuckup PROMISED that the school wouldn’t want for anything if they went to Klan Kountry.

So they did.

It was no great secret that this school was Senator Fuckup’s baby. At the time that I attended, the school was number one in the nation. Something to be proud of.

Except.

Except.

Except that in order to keep various forms of funding, the school was required to take in more melanin-blessed individuals than the locals liked.

Enter Mr. Sketchy Businessman, who ran a series of TV and radio ads claiming that our STATE funded school was stealing money from the local school district.

That’s right. He claimed that our school took money away from the poor Whites of Klan Kountry and gave to the diverse and metropolitan school for the gifted.

Senator Fuckup tried to deflect and dismiss, BUT did NOT rebut those claims. He didn’t believe that the school’s funding was THAT MUCH of an issue.

Any reasonable person would understand that the school was funded from the State taxes. Right?

As it turns out, Klan Kountry is not filled with reasonable people.

Senator Fuckup is a member of a particular subgroup in Klan Kounrty--a not-insignificant population of Catholic Creoles. So, after he wins his election--barely--he realizes that Something Must Be Done to help the image of the school that everybody knew as HIS baby.

Enter his old friend, Brother Dave. Brother Dave, who nearly bankrupted his previous school. His brother-in-law was a contractor who got a few really juicy contracts through him.

Protip: Nepotism only works if the person being nepotized is competent.

Spoiler: Brother Dave’s brother-in-law built schools about as well as Brother Dave ran them.

Brother Dave’s old school is attached to an order of monks who build cheap and simple caskets for people who are into that kind of thing.

They bake bread for the poor. These are good people.

Y’all, these people made it KNOWN--statewide--that they had a casket ready for ol’ Dave if he ever stepped foot in their town again.

Still, Senator Fuckup decided that THIS was the man who would lead my school into a glorious future.

Brother Dave took an aggressive stance on admissions. He wanted kids who didn’t have a lot of drama, and kids who looked (WHITE) good on the recruiting materials. He pulled hard from the local Catholic (Segregation) Academies.

Y’all.

Our Black kids were nearly White-passing mixed-race kids, one kid who was ACTUALLY from Africa, a couple of kids from Catholic schools, and one dark-skinned Baptist girl who is bombshell model-gorgeous. (For those glossy brochures.)

So as many White Catholic kids as possible.

Y’all.

I’ve competed with private school fuckwits in academic contests my whole life, up to that point. If it was something that required preparation (science fair, for example), they wiped the floor with us.

Because daddy the petroleum engineer did the project for them.

If it was a you-know-it-or-you-don’t thing (quiz bowl, for example), they lost so brutally that I might have felt bad for them. You know, if they had souls. Which they did not.

So Brother Dave populated our school with what he thought were “good kids”. White, Catholic kids.

Spoiler: My class started with 250 students. We graduated less than half of that, even after he backfilled our class with new kids between junior and senior year. The class after mine was worse.

Why is that?

White Catholic kids at segregation academies in the late 90′s basically did busy-work worksheet stuff all day. They were not ready for 10 page papers and 5 page lab reports and 100+ pages of reading and 20-50 math problems and projects, projects, projects!

Also, if all you do is worksheets and sit-down-and-shut-up, there has to be a certain...chemical element...to cope.

So, yeah. Drugs. So much drugs. And booze.

Brother Dave also hired Nurse Bitchy Fuckface. She was actually his first hire.

Nurse Bitchy was a walking disaster.

I was sixteen when I first met her, and because she didn’t smell like street drugs (I KNOW WHAT THAT SHIT IS), I missed a lot of signs.

Looking back, I think that she might have been a Prozac-and-wine kind of person. But, as the only drugs that I was familiar with came from street pharmacists, I thought she was just evil.

Hateful to the queers, pagans, Goths, and all assorted weirdos.

You know, all the kids who could actually handle the schoolwork and the pressure. *eyeroll*

I’m allergic to Sudafed. Weird, huh?

A senior at my school told me to be careful with Nurse Bitchy. She has a sensitivity to acetaminophen (Tylenol) and couldn’t have it. Nurse Bitchy had given it to her a couple of times.

It was on my senior’s medical chart. If you’re keeping score, that’s felony attempted murder.

Nurse Bitchy gave me Sudafed seventeen times (that I remember) while I was at that school. She very nearly killed me doing it. Some times I knew, and some times I did not.

“But why did you take it, if you knew?”

Well, you innocent dove, if I refused to take the medicine that the Nurse gave me, then I got written up. Enough write-ups and I got kicked out.

My home school in the Hub City? Eh...as bad as Klan Kountry was, I didn’t have someone assaulting me daily. I didn’t have a gang of girls who got away with attempting to rape me with a broom handle. I didn’t have a very big kid who was given liberties with me (BY THE STAFF) because he was special ed.

Or, as my guidance counselor liked to say (after my father was murdered and I was flunking chemistry--not because of dad’s death, but because the chemistry teacher put all the girls and Black boys in the back of the class--which had NO air conditioning on hundred-degree days--after Brother Dave’s brother-in-law “fixed” it that summer), “Stephanie, you know that you’re the poorest student here. Do you really want to go back to THAT?”

No. I did not.

Under pain of going home to poverty, rape, assault, and maybe death, I took her poison. She watched me do it. And she smiled.

I only went to Nurse Bitchy when I was forced to. This happened far more often my Junior year. The teachers would send me because I was sick (I come from a smoker’s home, and I’m an asthmatic who is allergic to tobacco. My family never quit, so I’d end up with smoker’s pneumonia most times that I went home. Thanks for the lung scars, fam.)

Eventually, when I was a Senior, my computer science teacher realized that I was unresponsive with a fever in her class. She was new that year, and didn’t know any better. So she woke me up and sent me along. Nurse Bitchy gave me the usual and sent me back to class.

Very few humans retain the ability to projectile vomit after age seven. Did you know that?

Lucky me, I did. I still can.

I hurled all over my keyboard. I hurled and hurled. My classmates screamed and ran.

My computer science teacher, an ice-cold woman of Indian descent with a very posh English accent, unplugged the vomit-soaked, ruined keyboard. She took it and me to the nurse.

She slammed the keyboard down on her desk and screamed at her to NEVER send a sick child to her class again.

Nurse Bitchy was (shocking, I know) a racist. She feared the angry Indian lady.

My computer science teacher, I believe, spread the word about Nurse Bitchy’s ineffectiveness. Teachers stopped sending students to her.

That left a vacuum. Nobody was being forced to get medical help. But medical help was still needed.

Before going to school in Klan Kountry, I was a veterinary technician. I worked under-the-table from too young. Illegal-child-labor-too-young.

But, I knew my stuff. I had a stocked medicine cabinet and a dissection kit.

I started doing everything up to and including prison surgery in my dorm room.

I could handle most anything. Which was better than worrying that the nurse was going to poison one of my friends into the ground.

I didn’t ask for money or food or anything (food was a commodity at that school because our cafeteria was infested). I worked for the goodwill of my classmates, which is the shiniest coin in the realm.

I’d gotten into witchcraft earlier that year. People trusted the witch over the nurse. That’s where my school was.

I only had one case that I really couldn’t treat.

Y’all.

It was traditional in the girls’ dorms that unless you were asleep or studying, you kept your door open. Mine was open that night. I was writing Sailor Moon fanfiction, procrastinating on one project or another. I don’t remember, it was twenty-two years ago.

Ophelia Grace (not her real name) came to my door in Doc Martens, favoring a foot. Her roommate or a suitemate or maybe another theatre kid was holding her up as she hobbled into my room.

I hadn’t heard that she’d been hurt, but apparently she had been. She was feverish and weak. Her face was bright red. She was babbling.

“I’m sorry,” she said over and over again. She apologized for coming late. She apologized for coming at all. She was shaking.

I sat her and her friend on my roommate’s bed (we’d bunked them, and I had the top bunk). My roommate was out, in the art lab working on a particularly tricky painting. Probably for the best. He was squeamish (my ex-roommate is a transman, so I’m using his preferred pronouns.)

I grabbed a large bowl and a mug, filled both with water (salted the bowl of water), and went down the hall to the microwave.

The water in Klan Kountry was filthy. It smelled bad and tasted worse. Remember Mr. Sketchy Businessman? He wanted to relax EPA regulations for himself and his sketchy business friends.

They were actively dumping into the city reservoir. But Mr. Sketchy Businessman promised to KKKeep KKKlan KKKountry Lily, so he got 49% of the votes.

Racist douche.

I boiled the water in the microwave--first the mug, then the bowl. It was a walk I’d make several times that evening.

Ophelia had a fever, holding steady at “fucking HOT” by the estimate of her friend. My thermometer pegged it at 102. Not good.

I put a teabag and two whole cloves in the cup and let it steep while I took her temperature. I asked her what happened. I don’t remember the specifics of the injury, but I believe that something got dropped on her toe. I think it happened in the theatre.

Ophelia thought she could walk it off. I remember that.

She kept apologizing. I honeyed the tea and shoved it in her hands. The tea helped. She was shivering--hard--from the wracking chills of her fever.

I remember how her febrile shivers made the bunk beds shake.

I remember thinking that I was in over my head.

I remember grabbing my oldest towels, and closing my door.

I remember praying.

And then I took her boot off.

Y’all.

I’ve smelled rot. Some people think that all rot smells the same.

It does not.

Corpse stink has its own bouquet. Blood rot has a distinct stench. Necrotic yeast infections almost smell good--like yeast rolls and something meatier.

I’d smelled Ophelia’s particular rot before.

I was fourteen. A momma dog was brought in, heavily pregnant. She’d been delivering, and the third pup got stuck. There were 11 left. The stuck pup was dead, but we managed to save 4 behind him, plus the first 2, born healthy.

The uterus had begun to rot inside, and several of the pups had been dead for some time.

The spaying that happened after the pups were removed was green and black, with the consistency of pudding. We pulled as much out as we could, but the rest had to be rinsed out.

Thankfully, I’ve smelled that smell very few times after. It smells pungent and strong. Like garlic. Like a cream of garlic stew.

I thought I’d gotten a whiff of THAT smell when Ophelia walked in, and again when she sat down. Pulling her boot off was like the first deep cut into momma dog. Garlic and blood.

The smell of something rotting in someone still alive.

She had on two socks. I peeled off the first one. There was a stain at the toe. The second sock was worse. The smell hung around.

Our windows were screwed shut. I couldn’t do anything about the smell.

Ophelia cried into her tea. She was still apologizing.

The toe was purple and black. There was a lot of yellow pus under the nail, which was leaking out on either side. Red streaks ran up her instep, tracing her veins.

The toe was swollen and needed a lance.

I had no idea how she climbed the stairs to get to me. (I was on the third floor, and she lived below. We had no elevator.)

She started to get loud (peeling those socks off HURT), so I asked her a question. I asked about her history paper. The ten-page history paper was a rite-of-passage at the school, and I knew it was coming due for her. I told her to tell me about her topic and her sources.

She did.

Thank the Lord and Lady.

I got my dissection kit and rubbing alcohol. I made things as sterile as I could.

I told her that it would probably hurt, but that I would work quickly.

Her friend left after the first cut. She didn’t stay gone long, but I heard her vomit in our suite’s toilet.

Ophelia kept talking about her paper. I led her around on that topic, asking questions and asking for clarification. Asking about the books she’d read, and offering a few that I was familiar with on the subject.

This is why doctors and dentists know so many things about so many subjects. Talking keeps the patient calm.

Meanwhile, pus and blood dripped from the slits that I made in her flesh, onto a towel that bore the stains until I donated it to the animal shelter, years later.

I soaked her toe in the bowl of water. The salt burned, but she couldn’t scream.

There was an adult who was supposed to be watching us. If she was alerted to my low-tech medical unit, she would have stopped me and sent Ophelia to the murder nurse.

I filled another bowl, salted it, and microwaved it.

Ophelia’s friend rejoined us, and watched as I squeezed the rest of the pus out of her. Her toenail slipped off in the third bowl. The toenail was cracked. Ophelia kept it.

I wonder if she still has it?

Triple antibiotic ointment and a sterile dressing later, I told her to tell the nurse that she needed a doctor. Nurse Bitchy couldn’t keep us from a doctor if we asked for one. She said that she would.

I gave her a few oral anti-inflammatory pills and some Benadryl to get a good night’s sleep.

She left, with her boot in her hand and a soft smile on her lips. I cleaned my tools, my bowls, the floor where her foot was, and had to do a load of laundry because that one rag smelled so awful.

My roommate came back in time for headcount, and asked if I’d made ramen. Said it smelled pretty good in there.

It did. Rot can do that.

It was hard to sleep that night. I cried quietly until sleep took me.

Ophelia recovered. She became a witch some time later. In college, I think. We’re still friends, in a Facebook kind of way.

Brother Dave is still alive. After working for my school, he ended up helping the Church cover up three decades of sex abuse at a diocese school. Not sure what he’s up to, but probably nothing good. He’s a garbage human.

Nurse Bitchy just retired. She lasted twenty years at that school. God knows how.

Senator Fuckup died in a car crash and the school is being renamed after him. So are the new dorms that are being built.

Klan Kountry cleaned up their water after I left. That’s really good news.

The school continues. Apparently, it got better with Brother Dave’s leavetaking. I hope that’s true.

And me?

I’m still a witch. I’m still here.

And I can still smell that rotten toe on the edge of nightmares half-remembered.

~*~

I don’t want my diploma revoked or to be sued, so disclaimer time.

This is fiction. Any resemblance to people living or dead is coincidental.

[phroyd]

DEKE PIERCE WAS wearing civilian clothes as he took to the lectern in a narrow press room inside the Texas Capitol in Austin last month, but it was still obvious that he was a cop. He stood with his feet wide and his arms slightly away from his body, a stance molded by years in a uniform encumbered by heavy gear. He was there to make an extraordinary announcement: He and 12 other members of law enforcement with more than 250 years of combined experience had filed a friend-of-the-court brief with the U.S. Supreme Court in favor of a Texas death row prisoner named Rodney Reed, slated for execution on November 20.

“We each care deeply about the criminal justice system and the rule of law. While that often means holding wrongdoers accountable, it is the equally important goal of the criminal justice system to avoid punishing the innocent,” Pierce told a group of reporters. “Not only would moving forward with Mr. Reed’s execution be cruel and immoral, it would also undermine the rule of law and the legitimacy of the very system we as law enforcement officers swore to uphold.”

Their brief argues that Reed’s conviction was tainted by common problems in law enforcement — forensic errors, “weak facts,” tunnel vision, and “community pressure that can distort an investigation.” The officers argue that in this case there is “uniquely compelling” evidence that Reed is innocent.

Pierce and his fellow officers join an increasing number of high-profile voices calling for a stay of execution and a thorough review of Reed’s case as a stream of new witnesses continue to come forward with revelations that cast doubt on Reed’s conviction; there is one who now says another suspect confessed to the crime that put Reed on death row. Reed’s lawyers, including his long-time attorney Bryce Benjet of the Innocence Project, have asked various courts to intervene, among them the U.S. Supreme Court. Those actions remain pending as the clock ticks down toward the execution date.

While Pierce and his colleagues understand “as well as anyone the need for finality in criminal cases,” they wrote, where “there is a significant risk of executing an innocent man, that need for finality must yield to the needs of justice.”

18 Years on the Case

Rodney Reed was convicted and sentenced to die in 1998 for the rape and murder of 19-year-old Stacey Stites two years earlier. On April 23, 1996, Stites was found dead, her body dumped on the side of a country road outside of Bastrop, a small town roughly a half-hour east of Austin. She was partially clothed and lying face up, her arms above her head. Marks on her neck led investigators to conclude that she’d been strangled with a length of braided leather belt, a piece of which was left nearby. Sperm was collected from inside her.

The murder went unsolved for nearly a year before law enforcement officers, apparently acting on a hunch, tested the recovered DNA against 29-year-old Reed. It matched and formed the basis of the prosecution’s case. No other evidence tied Reed to the murder. The DNA was the “Cinderella’s slipper,” prosecutors argued at trial.

When he was initially questioned by police, Reed denied knowing Stites, but soon admitted to having an affair with her, which would explain the presence of his DNA; the two had sex just days before Stites was found dead, he said.

It’s hardly surprising that Reed wasn’t immediately forthcoming. The relationship would have been a risky one in small-town Texas, even in the mid-1990s: Reed is black, and Stites was white and engaged to a man named Jimmy Fennell, a white cop in a neighboring town.

At trial, Reed had various witnesses lined up who could testify to the relationship, but most weren’t called, seemingly because they were related to Reed. Those who did testify weren’t particularly effective: One woman referred to Stites as “Stephanie” when recounting meeting her at the Reed family’s Bastrop home. Among the witnesses who weren’t called were at least two who said they knew about the affair and that Fennell had found out about it and threatened Reed.

Over the last 18 years, I’ve written dozens of times about Reed’s case. It was clear early on that it had serious problems and that Reed’s conviction left open a number of questions about what happened to Stites and why. As the years have passed, the case has become even more disturbing. There is medical and forensic evidence that has been debunked. There are witnesses — including within Stites’s family — who have come forward to say they were aware of the relationship. And then there’s Fennell. There’s been a lot of troubling information about him, too, including from law enforcement officers disturbed by his behavior both before and after Stites’s murder. Some of that information should have been made available to defense lawyers before Reed’s trial but wasn’t.

And then there are the courts, crucially including Texas’s Court of Criminal Appeals, which has repeatedly demonstrated a results-oriented willful ignorance in the face of mounting evidence challenging the conviction.

A Suspicious Timeline

From the beginning, the state’s theory of Stites’s murder was a problem. On the day she died, Stites was slated to work at 3:30 a.m. at a Bastrop grocery store. She was living in the nearby town of Giddings, about 30 minutes northeast of Bastrop, in an apartment she shared with Fennell, who was a cop there. She never made it to work. Several hours later, Fennell’s pickup truck, which Stites allegedly drove to work that morning, was found in the parking lot of Bastrop High School. Her body was found that afternoon, several miles out of town.

Based on this set of facts, the state came up with a theory of her death that hinged on Reed’s DNA being the result of a stranger encounter: Stites left the apartment sometime around 3 a.m., driving toward Bastrop. Along the way, Reed, on foot, somehow stopped her and attacked her. He raped and strangled her and dumped her body before driving into town where he parked Fennell’s truck at the school before walking away.

As a practical matter, this never made much sense to me. How would a man on foot overcome a woman driving along a highway? Even if she were to come to a stoplight, it’s not as though she couldn’t drive through it — after all, it was 3 a.m. And if there was traffic at that hour, it would seem even less likely that he could pull off such a feat.

The timeline underpinning the state’s theory was provided by Fennell. He wasn’t awake when Stites got up for work, he said, but she would have left around 3 a.m. or so. He said that he and Stites had been home alone all evening. Yet the police never sought to search their Giddings apartment, even though it was the last place she was seen alive.

Despite that inexplicable oversight, reading the police reports and notes related to the case, you can see that early on, Fennell was a suspect — members of Stites’s family even penned a list of concerns about his behavior at the time. He was interrogated several times by police, exchanges that he characterized in trial testimony as abusive “from day one.”

That Fennell was originally a suspect is important because investigators knew that he hadn’t contributed the DNA evidence. In other words, at least early on, the DNA wasn’t considered the lynchpin of the case. Nonetheless, once they matched the DNA to Reed, they dropped Fennell as a suspect. And that’s a problem, Pierce and the other law enforcement officers say. It suggests that detectives suffered from tunnel vision, “to which all law enforcement officers are susceptible,” they wrote in their brief to the Supreme Court. “This phenomenon does not depend on any bad faith or incompetence of the officers involved. Rather, it is a result of ordinary cognitive bias, that can make even experienced, well-intentioned officers fixate on a theory of the case that, from an objective perspective, does not hold up.”

“In particular, the pretrial investigation shows that police did not believe the forensic evidence exonerated Mr. Fennell until after Mr. Reed became a suspect,” they continued. “Only after Mr. Reed was identified as the source of an intimate sample did police consider the forensic evidence dispositive of guilt.”

In fact, additional forensic evidence pointed toward Fennell. Fingerprints lifted from his pickup truck — the one Reed supposedly drove after hijacking Stites — matched only Stites and Fennell. It’s hard to imagine that Reed would have tried to hide his identity by wiping his prints from the truck while leaving his DNA inside Stites.

As it turned out, there was also a problem with that DNA sample — not with its identification of Reed, but with what the state said it meant about Stites’s time of death. According to state witnesses, the fact that three intact spermatozoa were recovered from Stites meant that she’d had sex no more than about 24 hours prior to death.

Taken at face value, along with Fennell’s insistence that he was home with Stites the night before she was murdered, it would seem that the only conclusion was that Stites had sex just before she was killed. “We know, from the credible evidence, that [sperm] doesn’t hang around for days on end. We know from the credible evidence that that tells you that that sperm got in that girl’s body within 24 hours” of when the evidence was collected, prosecutors told the jury at Reed’s trial. “Which is when? On her way to work.”

I always found this suspicious because it was so oddly specific. Even back then, it sounded like junk science. Reed’s trial lawyers failed to call their own experts, so in 2002, I asked a Texas medical examiner unconnected to the case to review the evidence. He was uncomfortable with the state basing the timeline on sperm evidence, which, he told me, is “never very precise.”

In the intervening years, a number of noted forensic pathologists have agreed that the state’s conclusion lacked scientific support. Even the medical examiner who conducted Stites’s autopsy and had agreed with the state’s truncated timeline at Reed’s trial recanted his testimony. In 2018, both a state crime lab and a private DNA lab walked back the testimony of their employees who had been witnesses at Reed’s trial, noting that their assertions that the sperm had to be deposited close to Stites’s time of death were not supported and were in “error.”

There is another glaring issue for the medical experts who have reviewed the case: The state’s timeline for Stites’s murder was off — by hours. According to the pathologists, changes to Stites’s body at the time it was found demonstrated that she’d been killed before midnight and then dumped in the woods the following morning, meaning, by Fennell’s own account, Stites died while she was at home alone with him.

After death, blood no longer circulates and gravity causes it to pool under the skin in the lowest parts of the body, leading to dark patches that resemble bruising, known as post-mortem lividity. When Stites’s body was found, she was lying face up, yet the front of her body showed clear signs of lividity — on her face, right arm and hand, and chest. Since lividity takes at least four hours to set, the pathologists have agreed that this meant that Stites was killed and left in a position where she was slumped forward, one arm outstretched, for at least four hours before her body was dumped.

Continue Reading ...

Phroyd

[kissmethroughthebone]

TW for sexual assault

I still hate thinking about my second SD, I was so young and we already had sex 14 times in a row and I eventually was in pain, and this entitled asshole, despite me saying I was in really bad pain, and extremely sore in the pussy, decided to completely, and I do mean completely, ignore me. With nothing more than a grimace and a snarky attitude that tried to insist *I* was entitled or overreacting after *14* times of getting dicked in a row from 10pm to 7am the next morning.....

And just went, "Well, we'll just have one more time and be done with it!", and scoffing, making it seem as if there was no other option.

And just for his reaction to be like that, and me being scared of losing someone who had my ideal allowance at the time AND provided me a lot of good, plus my clothes being too far away to get dressed, and remembering how I didn't eat or do anything for a long time before then..... I obliged just out of fear.

Seeing a man cum in me while I was in pain and not remotely interested? Fucking traumatizing.

Especially with a similar past. "I finally have someone who can do WELL for me", I thought. But, he hurt me.

The way he brayed like a donkey during sex before quickly went from amusing, to mocking. The way he HAAAAAAW, HAAAAAAAAW-ed in my face, (lmfao okay i chuckled when writing this line,) was tinged with a gross smugness. As if he was doing it to now go, "I get what I want, whether you like it or not. Take this and bear with it?"

Especially since the way he came so fast, it would've been easier to masturbate.

Just for a week later, all his promises fell through. Whatever illusion he had before of being some wealthy god or whatever? Fell through. It went from "I can take you to Italy, Calistoga, Paris! I can get a chaffeur to take you anywhere you wish. I can get into more food places like this too, for fine dining", to "Let me see what the cheapest Greyhound would be like.... Also, no dinner, no anything, just planning to have sex for 24 hours straight at my place in Carmel, and also my practice is reaaaaaally expensive to uphold, so I'm cutting your allowance to 250."

Ever want to slit a mans throat? I did.

And well, a part of me hates not saying no, since I believed I could suck it up if I could get an allowance the next week, or have another great luxury experience. Something good......

Traumatizing. :/

Hate that. So much.

Not the first or last assault. Similar experiences. Once more of me grinning and bearing it when some creep tried to have sex with me entirely flaccid, (i dont get it, at all,) and then had the nerve to try and FORCE it in raw without my fucking permission. I legitimately had to kick in him the chest to get him off of me. And only THEN did he suddenly get turned on, at near-raping me and having me kick him in the chest.

And then after a long break from the bowl from that, met another fellow. We clicked well, things seemed great. They looked worse with clothes off..... and, the gross degrading aspect of "i can do what i want with this young lady, since she knows that she needs the money".

You ever had a gross man lick your armpit OUT OF NOWHERE in the middle of semi-tolerable kissing up and down your face, neck, and breasts, then have the audacity to TONGUE KISS YOU AFTER IT?

And him insisting on staring me in the eyes as he aggressively pinned my breasts together, rapidly shaking his head sideways to do some weird modernized version of "motorboating", (which actually hurt, and was really fucking unpleasurable at the pointy tongueness and rapid speed he was using,) while going "Still wanna go to London with me, eh??? Not having any regrets, eh, no second thoughts????? Hahaaaa", and continuing on, in a way that seemed mocking.

It got worse, since oh look.... yet another case of "fat man tries to distract very skinny girl by using his mouth on her vagina/breasts, then trying to pin her down with his weight or hand as he sneakily tries to force his dick in, as if she would NOT notice", and then laughing when caught.

But unlike the situations before, I immediately left. Immediately. I even told him that counts as rape, and that there are entire laws against it. He was shocked when he heard I kicked the last guy in the chest for doing so. (As if I was the bad guy.... Fuck. That.)

And demanded an apology.

Took my money, took my gift, got dressed and paid for my own fucking uber home.

And it was good.

I could talk more about the other gross aspects I wish I spoke up on. Like how I didn't notice the second rapey guy had a grossly white coated tongue, and the way he eas insistent on tongue kissing, but he thought tongue kissing was to just stiffly put his entire tongue in my mouth, not move it whatsoever but aggressively let the saliva FALL in HUGE slimey pools from his mouth, with no restraint whatsoever. (I don't know why he thought that would be okay, or if his kink was grossing or weirding out women, but I stayed silent and swallowed, since well, I thought it would pass, and didn't know the option of going "this is disgusting and im leaving" was doable. And I thought I wouldn't get sick, since it was just saliva, until I saw how white his tongue was... And the stomach pains lasted for days, since it was legitimately three mouthfuls of it. I didn't have uber money either, before I knew I could ask men for it on dates.)

I was disgusted. And also angry at myself. And my life. I've been too used to tolerating so much disrespect, grossness, or bare minimum or less that I didn't know I was able to turn down whatever was unacceptable. Since I was used to a life where everything had to be accepted, and that I needed to suck it up and deal with the hour or so of struggle if I wanted that food, that money, that job, that boyfriend, that opportunity......

Ugh.

I really hope I can get a therapist and forgive myself when all of this shit ends.

I do wanna feel better eventually.

I truly do forgive myself and must remember to never let that happen again.

[piracytheorist]

Happy Holidays! I'm dropping into some of my fave creator's ask boxes and encouraging them to Spread the Cheer by Sharing What You Created This Year! Before a new year starts, take some time to reflect on the things you wrote or created to bless the fandom this past year. Remind us all of the awesomeness you put out there in 2019, and feel free to tease us with things to come in 2020! Then pass this along to your faves, so they can share in the fun!

Hey there anon! Thank you for giving me a reason to look back on what I created this year :D

Fics

I wasn’t that productive this year - at least, not as much as I’d hoped/would have wanted. Still, here are my favourite fics I’ve written this year:

Outward-Bound - Angsty Old Hook being angsty!A Resting Place - The three times Killian visited his mother’s grave.Angsty drabble of Rogers and ocean angst being angsty Secret - That fic about teen Hope realizing she’s a whumper and embracing it, I simply have no words for how proud I am of it, lol.To Give One’s Trust - The CS/werewolf!Killian story I wrote for CS Role Reversal, inspired by an art piece by @artistic-writer!Keep Doing That - That smut piece of Hook and Emma and Wish Hook getting it on together 👀���

Gifsets

I was pleasantly surprised to find that my gifset tag (on both blogs, since I started using this blog for gifs again somewhere in spring) had been enriched with more than 250 gifsets this year! That’s like, five gifsets for each week of the year :D

Some of my favourite sets:

The Rite (2011), A Comedy .A Colin Cringing Gif for all your Colin Cringing Gif needsRobyn Being #Relatable .Did someone ask for Millian angst? .Get you a man who can Ow and Ew and Aw .YEET .He protecc - He attacc - He will stab you in the bacc (Captain Charming humor)HDM gifset of Pan being cuddly and cute - my one gifset that has reached 4k notes (!!) and has nearly double the notes of my second most famous gifset. Though it wasn’t anything special or hard to make… how can I not be proud of it? :D

Misc

This long-ass meta post on Peter from What Still Remains (warning for discussions on rape)

Another one on him I did last month (similar warnings here)

Some CS dirty humor 😏😏

More CS humor but slightly more innocent this time

More CS humor but much darker (it’s for 5x11 be forwarned)

My analysis of Call Girl when I realized how better it was than I’d remembered

Me teasing Colin a bit about how big of a Robert Carlyle fanboy he is

Also, this year I started the blog @outofcontextonceuponatime, and even though I made an abrupt pause and haven’t kept on with it since (though I plan to!), I am quite proud of the content I’ve already posted there!

As for next year, I can promise I’ll be giffing the hell out of The Right Stuff. Also gif some more scenes of Colin’s other films that I haven’t giffed yet. I want to focus a bit on some whumpy stories I have in mind for Killian, I hope I’ll be able to share some of those!

[mrlnsfrt]

Persistence > Talent

Maybe you don’t feel like you’re talented. Perhaps you feel like everyone else seems to have more talent than you. Maybe that’s why you keep giving up. Things get hard and you quit, you fizzle out, you give up. You figure if only you had more talent you would keep going. Maybe you think that those who succeed do so because they are more talented. Sure, talent plays a role in success, but I would like to suggest that persistence is actually a bigger factor in determining success than just talent, especially when it comes to the spiritual realm.

Mersenne’s Prime

In 1644, a monk named Marin Mersenne gets obsessed for a while with prime numbers.

You remember prime numbers? They're like the atoms of math, indivisible. They cannot be divided by any other number than themselves. So 3 is a prime number. You can only divide it by 3. Versus 4, which you can divide by 2, and you can get 2.

Remember? OK.

So Mersenne had a formula that he thought could predict prime numbers, OK?

Paul Hoffman, who wrote about this in his book The Man Who Loved Only Numbers.

He says that mathematicians had been searching for a formula like this to find prime numbers for nearly 2,000 years at that point.

Euclid, way, way back, 2,300 years ago, had proved that there's an infinite number of prime numbers. But he gave no formula for how to find them. I mean, they're easy at small numbers. We can do the math in our head. 7's prime. Nothing divides into it. 11's prime. If I give you a really big number, now you're going to have to start calculating, OK?

So this monk, Mersenne, came up with a formula. He creates this formula. And he uses it to spit out prime numbers. And one of the prime numbers that he said that he discovered was-- and this is going to sound a little bit technical-- 2 raised to the 67th power-- that is, 2 times 2 times 2 times 2, 67 times-- minus 1. And if that was confusing, all you need to know is this number of Mersenne's, 2 raised to the 67th minus 1, was famous among mathematicians.

That's how his paper ended. He said it was a prime number. This is 1644. So 250 years later, we're into the 20th century. I think it's 1903. And you have this mathematician that shows up at a mathematical conference that takes place here in the United States.

His name is Frank Nelson Cole. And he gave his talk a very unassuming title. He titled his talk "On the Factorization of Large Numbers." And he went to a blackboard. And he wrote, 2 to the 67th minus 1--

He says nothing. He says not a word.

He just walks over to the blackboard and just, writes that. And of course, everybody in the audience knows that that's the famous Mersenne prime. And he writes, equals, and then he writes out a 21-digit number—(2 67 - 1 = 147,573,952,589,676,412,927)

In other words, when you take 2 and then multiply it by 2, 67 times, and then subtract 1, that is this number, 21 digits long. 147,573,952,589,676,412,927. OK.

Then he moved over to a blank piece of blackboard. And he wrote down two numbers. One is a nine-digit number, times a 12-digit number. He writes those two numbers out. 193,707,721 and 761,838,257,287

OK, so that's two numbers that were sitting there on the board, multiplication problem, and?

And then he did the multiplication, just like the way they taught us back in second grade to do it. 7 times 1, he put down the 7. He went through the whole thing, step by step.

Just long multiplication. He says not a word. Everybody sits there silently.

Now, remember, the whole idea of a prime number is you should not be able to take two numbers, and then multiply them together and get a prime number as a result. It's supposed to be indivisible. If you multiplied two numbers together and you got this 21-digit number as a result, then that 21-digit number is not prime. And if Mersenne thought it was prime-- which he did-- his formula supposedly spits out prime numbers, this one of them, then his formula, 250 years old, is just wrong.

So, picture it. There's Frank Nelson Cole at the blackboard, slowly doing long multiplication, these two huge numbers. It takes a while. They're big numbers. It takes minutes, as this room full of mathematicians just watches him, lots of them, I'm sure, scrutinizing him for any math errors. He still has not said a word. And then, he gets to his result.

And indeed, it ends up being that 21-digit number, 147sextillion, 573quintillion, 952quadrilion, 589trillion, 676billion, 412thousand, 927. Now, the whole place erupts into applause. Legend has it, this is the first time at a math conference that people got up and applauded. And he just returns to his seat without a word.

And then later, someone asked him, "How long did it actually take you to figure out that Mersenne was wrong, that indeed this number has two factors?" And he said that he spent three years of Sundays working on this.

Three years of Sundays. Paul says these three years of Sundays were probably spent solving the problem by trying every possible solution-- dividing that huge number, 2 to the 67th power minus 1, by one number and then the next number and then the next. Three years of Sundays is 156 Sundays. For 155 of them, Frank Nelson Cole failed. Until finally, on the 156th Sunday, Frank Nelson Cole found a number that would divide it evenly, which, Paul says, is par for the course.

Notice how we don't talk about the researcher who spent two years trying to find what this gene did and then gave up or spent three years trying to find a planet outside the solar system and gave up, and someone else eventually did. Progress and discovery are often a combination of insight and hard work. We talk about the ones who did not give up, the ones who persevered and persisted.

(Adapted From This American Life: TRANSCRIPT 450: So Crazy It Just Might Work Transcript ORIGINALLY AIRED 11.11.2011)

Joseph in Prison

Genesis 39 ended with Joseph being thrown in prison after being falsely accused of attempted rape. But while Joseph was in prison God blessed him and he became the second in command in the prison (blog post with more details here).

Genesis 40 picks up the story with the addition of two men to the prison.

It came to pass after these things that the butler and the baker of the king of Egypt offended their lord, the king of Egypt. 2 And Pharaoh was angry with his two officers, the chief butler and the chief baker. 3 So he put them in custody in the house of the captain of the guard, in the prison, the place where Joseph was confined. 4 And the captain of the guard charged Joseph with them, and he served them; so they were in custody for a while. - Genesis 40:1-4 NKJV

I believe it is worthwhile noting that even though Joseph had authority over all the prisoners who were in the prison (Genesis 39:22-23) Joseph did not use his position of authority to take advantage of the prisoners. Joseph did not “lord it over” them, it is almost as if Joseph had studied Matthew 20:25-28 in his small group meeting.

25 But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. 26 Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. 27 And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave— 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” - Matthew 20:25-28 NKJV

As much as I would love to expound on this theology of leadership I will have to leave this for another post, though I briefly address it on this post.

Joseph was in charge of everything at the prison but chooses to serve the prisoners. Joseph uses his position of authority to serve and bless those around him. This relationship opens doors for Joseph to further help those under his authority. If Joseph had focused on how unfair life was and how he had been mistreated and how terrible his personal position was he would have missed an opportunity to witness and bless those around him. Joseph did not waste his time in mourning over the injustice of his accusers, which had deprived him of his liberty, rather he focused on his present and future doing his very best to bless those around him.

5 Then the butler and the baker of the king of Egypt, who were confined in the prison, had a dream, both of them, each man’s dream in one night and each man’s dream with its own interpretation. 6 And Joseph came in to them in the morning and looked at them, and saw that they were sad. 7 So he asked Pharaoh’s officers who were with him in the custody of his lord’s house, saying, “Why do you look so sad today?” - Genesis 40:5-7 NKJV

Joseph has shown that he cares, he has earned the right to enquire about the wellbeing of those under his care and they feel comfortable opening up to him and sharing what is on their heart. Their willingness to open up to Joseph will allow Joseph to further minister to them and their needs according to his abilities.

8 And they said to him, “We each have had a dream, and there is no interpreter of it.” So Joseph said to them, “Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell them to me, please.” - Genesis 40:8 NKJV

As the prisoners open up to Joseph he is able to witness to them about God, the true God! And those men were willing to open up to Joseph about what was happening in their lives.

9 Then the chief butler told his dream to Joseph, and said to him, “Behold, in my dream a vine was before me, 10 and in the vine were three branches; it was as though it budded, its blossoms shot forth, and its clusters brought forth ripe grapes. 11 Then Pharaoh’s cup was in my hand; and I took the grapes and pressed them into Pharaoh’s cup, and placed the cup in Pharaoh’s hand.” - Genesis 40:9-11 NKJV

The dream was complex and odd. I would not have been able to interpret this dream, but as Joseph had clarified earlier, the interpretations belong to God.

12 And Joseph said to him, “This is the interpretation of it: The three branches are three days. 13 Now within three days Pharaoh will lift up your head and restore you to your place, and you will put Pharaoh’s cup in his hand according to the former manner, when you were his butler. 14 But remember me when it is well with you, and please show kindness to me; make mention of me to Pharaoh, and get me out of this house. 15 For indeed I was stolen away from the land of the Hebrews; and also I have done nothing here that they should put me into the dungeon.” - Genesis 40:12-15 NKJV

Joseph interprets the dream, and he is so sure of the meaning of the dream that he even added a special request since he was talking to the cupbearer

"The cupbearer was an important official in the Egyptian court. Because of the sensitivity of his position—he personally served wine to the king—his loyalty in what was a perpetually intrigue-ridden household had to be beyond reproach. Ready access to the monarch could make a savvy cupbearer a trusted advisor and place him in a position of great influence. Egyptian documents testify to the wealth and power of such officials."  -- Sarna, N. M. (1989). Genesis (p. 277). Philadelphia: Jewish Publication Society.

The chief baker noticed how the cupbearer received good news and was motivated to share his dream with Joseph as well. 16 When the chief baker saw that the interpretation was good, he said to Joseph, “I also was in my dream, and there were three white baskets on my head. 17 In the uppermost basket were all kinds of baked goods for Pharaoh, and the birds ate them out of the basket on my head.”

18 So Joseph answered and said, “This is the interpretation of it: The three baskets are three days. 19 Within three days Pharaoh will lift off your head from you and hang you on a tree; and the birds will eat your flesh from you.” - Genesis 40:15-19 NKJV

Sadly the dream of the chief baker did not have a positive meaning. The commentaries I read did not agree regarding the details of the execution of the chief baker since the text is a bit confusing (death by beheading, hanging, impalement or some type of crucifixion) but they agreed that he would die and his body would be exposed to the birds.

"Thinking of his own two dreams, and realizing that God was still with him, Joseph sought to help the two dejected men in their perplexity. This desire to help others later proved to be the key to his own release from prison. Bearing his own unearned misfortunes with cheerful resignation and admirable fortitude, Joseph, by his friendly nature, was led to sympathize with other unfortunates, who lacked the inner strength that buoyed him up. It was not out of curiosity but with an earnest desire to assist those in need that Joseph offered the two men his assistance. At the same time he pointed them to God, his own source of strength and consolation."  -- Nichol, F. D. (Ed.). (1978). The Seventh-day Adventist Bible Commentary (Vol. 1, p. 442). Review and Herald Publishing Association.

Joseph’s interpretation was correct and the dreams had indeed been revelations from God about what would happen in the near future.

20 Now it came to pass on the third day, which was Pharaoh’s birthday, that he made a feast for all his servants; and he lifted up the head of the chief butler and of the chief baker among his servants. 21 Then he restored the chief butler to his butlership again, and he placed the cup in Pharaoh’s hand. 22 But he hanged the chief baker, as Joseph had interpreted to them. 23 Yet the chief butler did not remember Joseph, but forgot him. - Genesis 40:20-23 NKJV

As Joseph witnessed the fulfillment of the dreams he must have been reminded of the dreams that God had given him. I can imagine Joseph eagerly waiting for his freedom. Joseph had served and helped the butler at the lowest point of his life and surely he would remember Joseph now that he was re-established in a position of power and influence.

"[The cupbearer] had seen the interpretation of the dream exactly fulfilled, yet in his prosperity he forgot Joseph in his affliction and confinement."  -- Spiritual Gifts. (1858). (Vol. 3, p. 148). Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association.

Joseph was completely forgotten. Notice how the biblical text repeats the statement in two different ways highlighting the plenitude of the forgetfulness. It will still be two years before Joseph leaves his current condition.

Joseph was talented, he had the gift to interpret dreams. Joseph had also received dreams from God, though he might have reason to question the origin or veracity of the dreams he had a young man. Joseph had every reason to become bitter, to give up. Joseph could have said

“I tried being good. I tried following God. I was good, I was honest, I was kind, I always did my best. And what do I have to show for it? I betrayed by those closest to me, sold as a slave, I was falsely accused and thrown in prison, I was forgotten by those I helped…”

If Joseph had decided to give up, I would completely understand. I believe I have given up on things for less. But Joseph seemed to understand that it was not enough to be talented. Joseph seemed to understand that persistence was greater than talent. Sure, Joseph was talented, but without persistence, it would not have benefited him much.

In Genesis 37:2 we read that Joseph was 17 when his father made him the coat of many colors. In Genesis 41:46 we read that Joseph was 30 years old when he finally stood before Pharaoh. So even though we don’t have exact dates or references to Joseph’s age at this point we can know that he spent about 13 years of his life as a slave in or in prison. That is a long time to persist and persevere and press on. I wonder if Joseph could tell that during those years God was preparing him to rule one of the mightiest nations of the ancient world. I wonder if Joseph realized that because of his willingness to persevere, because of his persistence, God would use him to save the lives of many. I wonder if Joseph had any idea of how much power and wealth he would one day possess. Right now things were tough. Right now Joseph’s talent was not enough to make a significant difference in his destiny. Right now, all that Joseph had was persistence. He had to continue to trust God, to continue to do his best, to continue to learn and grow and care and bless, trusting that God was in control and that the dream that God had given him would one day come true.

But perhaps in your mind, you are arguing, thinking

“Sure, but that’s Joseph! He’s a Bible character. He is different. God gave him dreams and the ability to interpret dreams. But I am not talented like Joseph. It feels nearly impossible to persist in my situation.”

Well, I have another story for you.

Mary Jones

More than anything in the world, Mary Jones wanted to learn how to read. The main reason was her great desire to be able to read the Bible for herself. Like most people during the late 1700s, and especially in Wales, she only had access to the Bible when the pastor would read it at church once a week during the church service. But she was not satisfied with just a few stories once or twice a week. Mary wanted more, she wanted to read the Bible for herself. But there were no schools nearby to teach her how to read.

Finally, when Mary was about 9 years old a new school was started and it was only one hour away from her house! Mary longed to read the Bible and now it seemed like her dream would finally come true. She would wake up early so she could do all her chores and walk one hour to go to school. Mary was very poor. Her father had died when she was four years old and she was raised by her widowed mother. Her mother would go out and do whatever work she could at the neighboring farms and Mary would go to school.

Mary wanted to learn so much that she quickly rose to the top of her class. However, learning to read was only the first half of Mary’s dream. When Mary learned how to read she found a kind neighbor that allowed her to come over and read their Bible every weekend. Her kind neighbor lived two miles from Mary’s house. Mary would come over every weekend. Mary had heard some of the stories at church, but she found it so much better to be able to read the stories for herself. The Bible came alive to her, and the time would fly by. Soon, weekend visits were not enough. The hours spent at the neighbor’s house only fueled Mary’s desire to have a Bible of her own in the Welsh language.

However, there were very few Welsh Bibles and they were prohibitively expensive. So Mary began to save money and look for ways to earn money. She would do odd jobs, watch children for their parents, mend clothes, sell firewood, she began to raise chickens and sell the eggs. Mary spent six long years working hard and saving every penny she could. But this was not easy, sometimes some of her money had to be used to help feed the family. Many times Mary felt like it would be impossible to ever save enough money for her to have a Bible of her own. But after six long years, she finally had enough money to buy a Bible in the Welsh language.

Now that Mary had finally saved enough money sh had a new challenge to overcome. Welsh Bibles were exceptionally difficult to come across. They were very expensive, and there were very few of them. There were no Bibles that Mary could purchase in her village. However, Mary noticed that her new school teacher had a Bible, she asked him where he got it and he told her of a minister by the name of Thomas Charles who lived in the village of Bala, 25 miles away and had Welsh Bibles for sale.

Try to imagine Mary’s excitement! She had learned how to read, she had spent six years working and saving all that the could and finally had enough money to buy a Welsh Bible and now she knew where she could get one. So Mary began her journey, early in the morning she set off, barefoot, for a 25-mile journey over very rough terrain to the town of Bala. Her epic trip would be immortalized in history. Unknown to her she was also helping fulfill Bible prophecy.

When Mary finally arrived in Bala, it was late evening. Candles were starting to be lit. She knocked on the door of the house of the local minister who took her in for the night. The next morning he took her to see pastor Thomas Charles. Thomas Charles welcomed Mary and listened intently as she shared her story.

“I love the Bible,” Mary explained, “I have loved it my whole life, even from when I was much younger and would listen to the pastor reading from it at church. When I turned 9 they opened a school in my village and I was finally able to learn how to read. Now there is nothing I would love more than to have a Bible of my own so I can read it a much as I want whenever I can.”

Pastor Charles could hardly believe his ears.

“You walked 25 miles barefoot to buy a Bible?” He asked.

“Yes,” she said, “and I have the money right here!”

“How did you manage to get enough money to buy a Bible? I thought you said your father had died when you were young and that he had been a weaver, I don’t think your parents were very rich.”

“I worked very hard, I mended clothes for my neighbors, I raised chickens and sold the eggs, I gathered and sold firewood, I watched children, and cleaned and swept houses and saved every penny. And after six long years of working very hard, I finally have enough!”

The coins jingled softly in the purse she clutched in her hands.

Thomas Charles then turned to the other pastor and said:

“Mr. Edwards, isn’t it said that such a brave girl, such a smart and dedicated girl, such a consistent Christian who worked so hard and traveled so far just to have a Bible and I do not have one for her? I do not have a single Bible to spare and there is no hope of getting one either because the Religious Tract Society has decided to no longer print any more Bibles for Wales.”

“Do you mean to tell me that we do not even have one for this young girl?” the pastor asked.

“The few Bibles I do have were already promised to other people, I do not have any Bibles to sell to Mary, not even one.”

The words fell like heavy hammer blows on Mary’s ears. Her heart sank. She was devastated. She began to weep and then her body began to shake uncontrollably with heavy sobs. She could not stop weeping because of the thought of having to go back home empty-handed after a lifetime of wanting and waiting and studying and working so hard to be able to have and read God’s word. Her tears wet her cheeks and dripped from her chin. Mary could not stop weeping. Thomas Charles was moved deeply moved with compassion from the core of his being as he beheld Mary and pondered the tragedy of her story.

Pastor Charles got up from his chair and placed his hand softly on Mary’s head and said,

“Mary, you will have a Bible, no matter what. One of these bibles was going to a man who can also read English. So I will let him have an English Bible and I will give you the Welsh Bible that was intended for him.”

He went to his bookcase and got a Welsh Bible and gave it to Mary.

That day a very excited 15-year-old walked 25 miles home, hugging her very own Bible.

Pr. Charles was deeply touched by Mary’s story and in the year 1802, he went to a religious tract society meeting and told them what had happened. After he finished he asked the men there to consider starting a new society dedicated to printing and distributing Bibles in the Welsh language. During the discussion, as Thomas Charles made his passionate appeal for bringing Bibles to Wales in the Welsh language a Baptist minister named Joseph Hughes said that “surely a society could be formed for this purpose. But if for Wales, why not for the British Empire, why not for the entire world?”

That December day, the British and Foreign Bible Society was born. The society held its first meeting on March 7, 1804, and 700 Pounds were raised to begin printing and distributing Bibles all around the world. From God’s perspective this was a profound moment, for this was the catalyst for a global spiritual awakening opening the door for millions of people to have access to the Bible in their language. The moment had come for the fulfillment of Daniel 12:4

“But you, Daniel, shut up the words, and seal the book until the time of the end; many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall increase.” - Daniel 12:4 NKJV (bold mine)

One humble country girl with persistent and unshakeable faith paved the way for the whole world to read and learn about the love of Jesus. Not only that, but she also played a crucial role in the fulfillment of Daniel’s prophecy.

When Mary walked the 25 miles to Bala in the 1800s, the Bible was available in only 67 languages.

By 1900 the Bible had been translated into 524 languages.

There were a total of 428.2 million scriptures being given out by international Bible Societies in 2014, including full Bibles, Testaments, Gospels, and other smaller scripture items. (source)

(I wrote this story by compiling information from several sources including https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbfKGmXkqkk&t=1005s, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zd5vUs0JDbc&t=1409s, http://www.biblesociety.org.uk/uploads/content/projects/mary_jones_story.pdf, https://www.biblesociety.org.uk/ )

If God used Daniel while he was a slave and while he was in prison. If God used a humble country girl. Imagine what God can do through you if you choose to persist?

God does not need talent, He is the one who gives the talent. What God needs from you is persistence. God needs you to not give up. If you persist, God will do amazing things. He wants to use you to bless others, to bring the good news to those who are living in ignorance. God wants you to be salt and light. We know it is His will. The question is, are you willing to persist long enough to accomplish God’s will in your life?

Sure, maybe you don’t feel like you have the talent you wish you had or that others seem to have. But I am not here to ask you about how talented you are, I am here to ask whether to not you are willing to be persistent.

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Do you know of any sterek fics with background melissa/talia?

Here’s some background and a few main pairing Melissa/Talia! - Anastasia

First Impressions by doctorkaitlyn

(1/1 I 250 General)

"Melissa," Talia says from the armchair in the corner of Melissa's bedroom, wry smile playing at her lips, "correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that you've met my children before. Many times, in fact."

'cause everything is never as it seems by scepticallyopenminded

(1/1 I 984 I General)

Stiles’ mom dies when he’s nine, and Scott and Mrs. McCall are there for him, and Mrs. McCall for his dad, too, and in return, and because that’s what best friends do (which Scott quickly becomes Stiles’ best friend), he’s there to talk to when Mrs. McCall starts dating again when they’re twelve, and Scott is a little worried that this new woman his mom is dating is gonna hurt her, too, the way his dad did. She’s a woman called Talia Hale, who has four kids herself, with a husband who had died a few years earlier.

political wolves (just imagine) by tryslora

(1/1 I 1,397 I Teen)

Imagine it’s the 10s, and Talia Hale and Melissa McCall are living in Washington DC, their children attending the same elite private academy as other lupine and human political children. Imagine that Talia Hale is making a run for president, attempting to become the first lupine president of the United States.

maybe miracles by ElasticElla

(1/1 I 1,659 I Teen)

The funeral is going to be held on a Thursday.

Melissa's going back in time instead.

The Living Dead by orphan_account

(1/1 I 2,005 I Teen)

After the world learns the truth about the supernatural, the McCall Pack find themselves forced to flee Beacon Hills. However Lydia's attempt to see Allison one more time before they leave, brings back another falled friend from the past. 

Warm Sand by morrezela

(!/1 I 2,923 I General)

Talia Hale had a lot on her plate as she worked on both her training to take over as alpha of the Hale pack one day and finish her college degrees. She didn’t have time to develop feelings for Melissa Delgado.

Hair: brown. Lips: scarlet. by lowsywriter

(3/? I 3,229 I Mature)

"There’s a piece of jailbait sprawled on the front yard as he parks his Camaro behind an electric blue jeep. He is wearing a white t-shirt and chinos and he is very wet, so much that the shirt is almost transparent and Derek has a hard time not staring. He looks like the beginning of a good porn movie."

Haircut by vexatious_vehome

(1/1 I 3,507 I Explicit)

Young Talia and Melissa celebrate the start of their Christmas holiday and a new hair cut.

The Five Times Talia Failed at Dating (and The Time Melissa Salvaged Everything) by MaraMcGregor

(1/1 I 3,780 I General)

Talia must date/court Melissa McCall to ensure that the Hale and McCall Packs will merge successfully. The fate of both packs rely on them getting it right. Unfortunately, Talia has bad luck with planning dates and/or executing them. Murphy seems out to get the couple and the pack has started whispering that Derek inherited being a bit of a failwolf from his mother. Sequel to Through Time.

Down The Rabbit Hole by DeviousPaleKitten

(3/? I 6,136 I Mature)

He wasn’t crazy.He wasn’t crazy, that was what Stiles kept telling himself. His Mantra.It wasn’t exactly a comfort since it felt objective. But it was what Stiles has been telling himself ever since he saw his mother’s ghost a mere few weeks after they put him in the ground.

After 9 years of seeing his mother's ghost,Stiles' father has sent him to Eichen Haus. There Stiles meets some interesting people that seem to be in the same boat as him,but soon become some of the best friends he could have ever asked for.Then enters Dr.Scott McCall, the youngest to graduate in his medical field, and the most gorgeous person Stiles has ever seen.But Scott wouldn't want anything deep with a crazy person -which Stiles isn't- let alone one of his patients.But Scott is there for a whole different reason, a mission of sorts,and believes that Stiles can be one of the prime candidates to help him achieve it

Sentimental Value by captaintinymite (augopher)

(7/7 I 15,785 I Explicit)

Thanks to some pilfered cookies, Derek has nothing but disdain and suspicions about his brother Scott's roommate when he comes to stay with them over the summer. Derek will never admit he finds Stiles attractive, but he finds he's having serious trouble avoiding his him, especially with the unsolicited, erotic dreams he keeps having at night about his brother's best friend. As it turns out, the pair have more in common than first believed; they grow to enjoy each other's company, and then some.But my how things change after a break-in results in a stressful situation for Stiles.

Something New by manboobs

(11/11 I 25,803 I Teen)

Every moment can be measured in heartbeats. His moms get to the arch. Talia turns toward him and smiles, squeezes his hand. He feels his heart thud in his chest. In her vows, Melissa tells Talia that she fell in love with her and her whole family, that what they built together is everything. Cora is grinding her teeth hard so she won’t cry. Scott is openly weeping on the other side. Derek hears the blood rush in his ears, so loud he can't hear his mom say “I do”. Talia dips Melissa in a Hollywood kiss, the crowd cheers. Laura is hugging Derek and muting her sniffles in his neck. He can see his own pulse in his wrist. Stiles catches his eye from the audience, sitting right next to his dad, and smiles. His heart stops for precisely two beats.

(or The One With Talia and Melissa's Wedding, where feels go all over the place because of reasons).

Of Love&Faith by Jiaxing

(21/? I 68,798 I Mature I Rape)

Dean Winchester and his husband Castiel took their children, the twins: Stiles and Lydia and their younger brother Isaac to Beacon Hills. They were moving to Beacon Hills to replace the Argents as the guardian hunter family for the area. There was a treaty in supernatural community to have hunters to aid the werewolf pack that was serving and dedicating their life for the peace in one area against evil and dark powers. The Argents were betraying this treaty when Kate Argent was trying to massacre the Hale pack by using and deceiving Peter Hale and his nephew Derek. She was then killed by Peter before the said man went missing.

After Chris Argent died, after three years of vacancy, the Winchesters finally came to fill the role left by the Argents. Moreover, they were trying to escape the past that left Stiles broken and traumatized. Dean and Castiel were hoping the new place would be a good place for their children to start anew. Stiles was a bit pessimistic about this, until he met Talia Hale’s middle son Derek Hale. After all the heartbreak and betrayals, could Stiles and Derek open their heart to start believing once more?

[ceitupyvo1970-blog]

I have to hold my hands up and say "Been there, done that and have the scars to prove it". Yes, I have been known to wear a band aid or two and even had a visit to casualty for a deep cut. Partner (chef in training and general know it all) and his wonderful country cottage kitchen.. Also, that comment from the bonehead was "during which a boneheaded coworker told her that men feel emasculated if their penises aren't enough in the bedroom". That was the fellows insecurities and had pretty much nothing to do with having ideas about women in general. Also, it was Bloom who was 22, the man could been whatever age.. Winnipeg, in Canada. The summers are fantastic, though. They can be very hot, 충청북도출장마사지 like +36C with a humidex of +42C. Originally from Venezuela, Karen moved to New York when she was eight years old where she became United Amateur American Rhythm National Champion and Professional World Mambo Champion. In 2009, Karen appeared in the US series So You Think You Can Dance before joining Burn the Floor as a principal dancer. Karen is the longest serving female professional on Strictly and over the years has enjoyed successful partnerships with Jeremy Vine, Mark Wright and most recently reached the quarter final with Casualty Charles Venn.. I 23 years old and I measure a 38MM/N these days. I average 1 3 cup sizes of growth a year. But when I ask about a reduction I get told to "just lose weight." I tried to entertain that theory a few years ago by losing 30 pounds. It just way more than just kids misbehaving. Kids don naturally send rape threats, they don start telling extremely racist jokes without having learned to be racist from some source. It the adults in the gaming community that failing children and passsing on this shitty behavior, teaching it as normal and accepted. However, I do see more body positivity here then back at home. I from Southeast Europe and we have very strict standards on how a woman should look like. Before coming to Canada, I never seen so many confident women who are in the same time quite overweight by (SE) European standards. Wait! Could it be? If she smiles, then I know." And then she smiled. I was so excited that I made a beeline through the packed crowd. She was as awesomely nice as you would think she would be. 250 dollars and the thing has a heated seat, press a button and it sprays you clean, oscillating function. You can adjust the water temperature and water pressure. Anywhere from a spittle to glorious paint stripping power. He saw a slight man in humble white robes and dark hair, but soon his purseption of the emperor shifted to the godly figure we know as the Emperor of Mandkind. This is what led many to believe the emperor can alter how those around him see him. Leaving alot of people to wonder which form is the real him the slight man in humble robes or the golden god we know. May I get 충청북도출장마사지 some fashion advice from you more fashionable ladies? I have to go to Las Vegas this weekend for a memorial not a traditional one, but one that will be celebrated in a private dining room at Caesar Palace. It a sort of family reunion with 25 or so folks. I want to wear a pleated midi skirt and short boots, but can pull if off without black tights.

[rhywhitefang]

It’s the end of the year (Well, not quite, but I’m not gonna get any reading done tomorrow)  - and we all know what that means... Looking back at what you read and evaluating your favorites. And no, I did not contain myself to just 10 - but that’s also because I did read a lot this year. Why are they eleven books for the first two categories? Any excuse to include one more book It looks better on the graphic. Although, before someone asks why the Broken Earth Trilogy isn’t on here - Rereads don’t count and I read those in 2017. For a more detailed look at each of my lists, links to the books, and more of my thoughts, look under the cut. For a list of all of my favorite books look here. 

Now, on to these...

The best new releases of the year

Now, obviously, I did not read every single book that was released this year - duh. This is just a list of the best 2018 releases that I read this year. Ranked, they look like this:

Girl Made of Stars by Ashley Herring Blake. Why I loved this one: It’s a really honest, well-written, gentle, well-done, nuanced, and detailed examination of what rape does not only to a person but also to a community from a perspective I’ve never seen considered before. 

Darius The Great Is Not Okay by Adib Khorram Why I loved this one: Because I love well-done coming of age narratives and this one was excellent. It’s a very quiet, introspective, slow moving book with a softer main male character. I also really appreciated the setting of Teheran. 

The Book of Essie by Meghan Maclean Weir Why I loved this one: Look, it’s one of my very specific favorite tropes of all time (I’m not going to spoil it) that I almost never see, the main character is interesting and strong in a mental way I really enjoy, and it’s a deconstruction of conservative family culture. Yay. 

The Adventure Zone - Here there be Gerblins by Griffin McElroy Why I loved this one: I jumped on the hype train and listened to the podcast - and like, this is a comic adaptation of the first arc? Which is so much fun?

The Air You Breathe by Frances de Pontes Peebles Why I loved this one: I loved the main character who was bitter, and passionate, and jealous and lovin, and complicated and determined and stern and regretful. It was great. If you loved Evelyn Hugo, this one should be your next read. 

The Cabin at the End of the World by Paul Tremblay Why I loved this one: This thriller was very unique in the way that it put its focus on just one family, and the whole rest of the world was not really present. Instead we get a very closed, and isolated narrative where everything but the characters we follow and the relationships they have with each other is called into question.

How Long Til’ Black Future Month? by N. K. Jemisin Why I loved this one: I refuse to comment on claims that I light a candle of my very own N. K. Jemisin shrine every night before I fall asleep. If you haven’t read The Fifth Season - go read them right now. My favorites from this collection include: Valedictorian, The Storyteller’s Replacement, Walking Awake, and Henosis.

Circe by Madeline Miller Why I loved this one: I’m a huge slut for greek myth retellings, if you’re a semi-competent author retelling any greek myth, I’ll eat it up. And Miller is more than just semi-competent.

The Poppy War by R.F Kuang Why I loved this one: Listen, listen, listen - you know how to get me as a reader? Training sequences and school settings. This has 250 pages of training sequences in a school setting. It made me very happy. 

Hurricane Child by Kheryn Callender Why I loved this one: Everyone’s excited for this author’s other book, which is like, a YA romance and to be fair, I haven’t read that one yet, but still - why is this one so underrated? It’s a magical realism coming of age story of a young girl and it’s stellar. 

Inkmistress by Audrey Coulhourst Why I loved this one: I wasn’t the biggest fan of the author’s debut, but this has a lot of things I love - “be careful what you wish for” style blood magic, dark self-fulfilling prophecies, and a female characters journey from hero to villain. Also dragons. 

The best backlist books of the year

Meaning, the best books I read this year that were released in 2017 or before that. Pretty simple, really.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan Why I loved this one: It has been a long time since I was this attached to a group of book characters that quickly. They’re instantly relatable, even if they’re not instantly likeable. And beyond that, the whole book is a wonderfully satirical take on the portal fantasy genre. But seriously, guys, there’s not enough of fanfiction for this book - I’d know it, I read them all.. C’mon, where’s my soulmate AU?

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman Why I loved this one: One of the best YA novels out there and not only one of my favorite’s of this year, but also one of my favorite books of all time. Alice Oseman understands the teen coming of age story on a spiritual level, and manages to be so wonderfully affirming in this one.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid Why I loved this one: Listen to the hype, everyone, listen to the hype. Evelyn Hugo is an amazing character and I’d 100% believe you if you told me she was a real person. PLUS, this one also has the trope. The one I talked about with the Book of Essie. 

Strong Female Protagonist by Molly Ostertag Why I loved this one: Well-done, deconstructionalist superhero narrative are my jam. This webcomic is not that action driven, instead it focuses on the main character identity crisis, and her reconsidering what it means to be a hero and what her responsibility as a human is.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M Danforth Why I loved this one: Do you think the owner of this blog might like coming of age narratives? I’m not super sure, like, maybe if she had “I love coming of age narratives” tattooed on her forehead, it would be a little clearer... but like this? It’s a mystery. 

Whichwood by Tahereh Mafi Why I loved this one: No, I did not read the first book in this series, and I don’t think you need to in order to enjoy this. Here, I just really appreciated the friendship aspect of the book and the healing power of reaching out to others and letting them into your heart. Also death magic. That too.

Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds Why I loved this one: I think the slam poetry style this was written in, often novels written in verse don’t work for me because it feels like more distance being put between you and the narrative, but in this case it really elevated the story. And of course, this was a very introspective read with a focus on character development.

One Hundred Nights of Hero by Isabelle Greenberg Why I loved this one: The artwork here is just gorgeous, just like in the first one The Encyclopedia of Early Earth. Its beautiful and has a lovely fairytale vibe.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon Why I loved this one: This has a very sharp, very unique voice to it and a protagonist unlike anyone I ever read. And the spaceship setting was really cool as well.

Under the Pendulum Sun by Jeannette Ng Why I loved this one: This is a fae book that gets fucking dark, and truly fucked up as any proper fae book should do. Some parts of it read almost like a trippy nightmare which is just delightful. And the premise itself? Just wild, man

Girl Mans Up by M-E Girard Why I loved this one: Say it with me everyone 📣: Coming 👏 of 👏 Age 👏 Narrative

Honorable Mentions

Yes, I have a whole entire seperate list of honorable mentions. What’s it to you?

A  Very Large Expanse of Sea by Tahereh Mafi Why I loved this one: The writing is beautiful and engaging. The protagonist is refreshing, lively, realistic, and I loved her perspective. Her internal journey was wonderfully rendered. The issues she dealt with were important, timely, and needed to be put into the forefront. It had a lyrical, atmospheric quality to it and I thoroughly enjoyed my experienced reading it. Why it didn’t quite make the list: It almost, almost made the list because it was really good. There was just one thing that bothered me. I get that the point of this book was that the protagonist was really isolated in the beginning, but even so... she had a romance with a guy, she had her brother and his friends whom she hung out with. But she didn’t seem to know any other girls... at all. The only other real female character I remember is her mother. And then there’s one interaction with another girl and that girl is a racist bitch. So I didn’t like that portrayal.

Geography Club by Brent Hartinger Why I loved this one: Teenagers finding themselves.... friendship..... clubs.... gay people.... I mean, come on.  Why it didn’t quite make the list: The writing style isn’t the best.

And I Darken by Kiersten White Why I loved this one: This was a great first book in a trilogy with a historical setting I haven’t read about before. It has court intrigue, sultans, assassins and political imprisonments. The main character’s brother, Radu, is one of my favorite characters I read about this year and I liked the way this tackled religion. Why it didn’t quite make the list: Being the first one in a series, this feels more like...a prologue, than anything that could stand on its own.

When I Hit You - A Portrait of the Author as a Young Wife by Meena Kandasamy Why I loved this one: It’s an unflinching look at an abusive marriage, power dynamic, and coping with the more patriarchal aspects of your own culture. It’s also really well written and extremely believable.  Why it didn’t quite make the list: It had an odd framing device, and because the protagonist was a writer, this caused it to be kind of pretentious at times.

Here to Stay by Sara Farizan Why I loved this one: This is a very realistic depiction of high school, and the social dynamics most teenagers for. Teenagers aren’t wise or mature, most of them have a lot of growing to do. And I liked how flawed everyone there was. They just wanted to keep their head down, or they overcompensated for their insecurities, and they dealt with their own issues. I liked how the topics in here were handled. Why it didn’t quite make the list: The plot was a bit too simplistic for me. 

Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant Why I loved this one: Killer mermaids! Need I say more? I’ll say it again - killer mermaids! Why it didn’t quite make the list: Despite the title, this isn’t really that deep. Just a fun monster horror.

The Emperor’s Soul by Brandon Sanderson Why I loved this one: The one thing that Sanderson does consistently well is develop magic systems, and I really liked this one. And because this one was so short, there wasn’t some epic (or even cosmic) overarching plot, but a rather clear and relatively small narrative of a specific task that needed to be completed, which I found absolutely fascinating. I think I like this story even more than the Mistborn trilogy. It’s my favorite from him. Why it didn’t quite make the list: Everytime Sanderson writes a female character, you can tell he feels so proud of himself for being such a feminist. 

I Was Born for This by Alice Oseman Why I loved this one: This surprised me. Even though I loved Radio Silence by Oseman and had read that one before, the subject matter of this book didn’t really seem appealing to me, but it was still really fun. I loved the friendship dynamics and the discussions of fame. Why it didn’t quite make the list: I just very much wanted this one to go more in depth and really dive into that character development, and these relationship dynamics. I just wanted a little more of that. 

A History of Glitter and Blood by Hannah Moskowitz Why I loved this one: I loved most things to do with the fae - the dark fae of folklore, mind you, not whatever SJM is doing. Now, these fairies aren’t really traditional, but the setting is definitely dark. Also, there’s an unreliable narrator which I love.  Why it didn’t quite make the list: I was kind of iffy about some of the racial implications with the goblins. 

The Monster Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson Why I loved this one: We stan a ruthless, traitorous accountant. Love that dark character development, bitch.  Why it didn’t quite make the list: While I loved the first one, this one really lacked a clear sense of structure or direction. The pacing was kind of off. 

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan Why I loved this one: I loved the worldbuilding here, and the setting of concubines in a castle, quiety rebelling in themselves. Yay.  Why it didn’t quite make the list: It felt a bit juvenile at some points, some things were rushed, and I would have liked a bit more depth to the characters, especially the love interest.

[dwarrowdams]

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

It’s Festivus, obviously, which means that it’s time for my annual airing of grievances.

This year’s topic is kind of two sub-topics under the broader category of romance novels: specifically, misogyny directed towards romance heroines (and the women who write them) and anti-aro sentiments within romance novels.

Misogyny around romance novels isn’t exactly a new thing (because ofc women can’t like a thing without it being dragged through the fucking mud and treated like crap), but it’s morphed into an ugly animal that sometimes disguises it as a Good Liberal™.

You know, the kind who “doesn’t see color” and has a gay friend and thinks that they deserve praise for not misgendering trans people.

These Good Liberals™ see romance as something that’s fueling misogynistic stereotypes.  Problem is, they’re making these assumptions based on outdated romance novels that don’t reflect current trends.  There are some romance novels that are misogynistic af, but the genre is no more inherently misogynistic than every genre.  This is a whole-ass genre that largely centers the lives and desires of women in a way that many other types of fiction don’t.  If you want to say that all of it is bad, you might as well just come right out and say that you don’t give a fuck about stories that often flip patriarchal narratives on their heads.

Also, I never see people coming for fantasy—which is a cesspool of misogyny—the way they come for romance, and the misogyny in that genre is so awful that I'm scared to read any fantasy novel written by a man unless I am 250% positive that no women are raped/sexually assaulted/sexually harassed on page.  (Sometimes even novels by women have gender-based violence.)  If you actually give a fuck about making sure that women are treated like complex and three-dimensional human beings, look at all genres, not just one that is primarily written by women and often centers woman MCs.

(also like...queer people exist in romance, so talking about the genre like it’s all allocishets is a surefire sign that someone doesn’t know what the fuck they’re talking about)

The romance community itself is good at dealing with misogyny (you have to be when someone writes a fucking “is romance killing feminism?!” thinkpiece every other week), but they’re shit at dealing with anti-aro sentiments.

I fucking love romance.  I’m writing romance novels.  I read romance novels all the damn time.

I’m also on the aromantic spectrum and don’t like it when others imply that me (or others) identifying as such means that something is wrong with us.

Anti-aro sentiments sneak their way into so many romance novels.  Someone is hailed as “unfeeling” just bc they’ve never had a romantic partner.  Someone’s love “fixes” someone else’s cold heart.  Someone wondered what’s wrong with them bc they never loved anyone romantically before.

It’s hard to notice at first, but once you see it, it’s hard to unsee.  There are so many other ways that authors could express that someone didn’t feel romantic love other than resorting to the tired “unfeeling” or “heartless” tropes.  Romantic love is not some end-all, be-all thing.  It’s great, but so is platonic love or familial love or the love you have for your pets or the love you have for your favorite hobby.

Not every romance novel does this, but when they do, it gives me an icky feeling inside.  It reminds me that people in my own community think that people like me are missing something, that we need “the right person,” that we’re like a clock with a missing part.

Aro-spec people are perfect and we are not missing a single goddamn thing—except the respect and acceptance that we deserve (and tbh that’s other people’s fault, not ours, so we personally are not missing anything).

I just really fucking hope that the genre begins to weed out these insidious anti-aro sentiments because as a romance writer, I don’t want to be a part of a community that thinks I’m missing something bc I rarely feel romantic attraction.

[bthump]

You're acting like Casca is being forced to stay with the Hawks , when she could've leave anytime she wanted. Victimizing her when she was an equal warrior like the rest of the Hawks until Guts came along, even Corkus said no one could beat her when they assaulted Guts and tried to take his silver coins. She was amongst the best warrior Griffith had they all respected her. Both Guts and Griffith hurt her more especially Griffith since she's more familiar with him since she knows him longer.

…what is this a response to? Where did I suggest Casca was forced to stay with the Hawks?

The closest thing I can come up with is my tags on this post, which are referring to the fact that Casca is upset because she wants to leave with Guts and now feels like she can’t because of Griffith, and I think that’s pathetic writing that could be vastly improved if Casca was motivated by something other than men.

I mean if we’re talking about Casca’s term as leader of the Hawks, the text insists over and over again that she’s basically forced to lead them bc of her sense of duty and bc everyone just turned to her as their replacement for Griffith - Judeau tells Guts multiple times that leading the Hawks is terrible for her, we see that it drives her to suicide, and when the Hawks learn that Griffith isn’t going to recover they want Casca to keep leading them and Judeau tells them to stfu because they’re asking too much of her.

And I think Miura choosing to emphasize the toll leading takes on Casca emotionally is a shitty writing choice, especially compared to Griffith’s issues with leadership which are all about guilt, vs Casca’s which are all about how difficult it is.

Also like, are you saying I’m victimizing her by pointing out how often she needs to be rescued because she’s always conveniently feverish/on the verge of exhaustion/suicidal/up against someone so strong someone else has to step in/etc? There’s a well-known piece of writing advice: “show, don’t tell.” We’re told that Casca is the third best fighter in the Hawks who can defeat ten men. We’re shown Guts or Griffith rescuing her (or Guts easily defeating her) way, way more often than we’re ever shown her actual fighting skills.

This is a deliberate choice on Miura’s part, to shove Casca into the role of victim as often as possible despite what we’re told of her skills. I’m not dumping on a real woman who has a lot of bad luck lmao, I’m dumping on Miura’s misogynist writing.

Casca was a full character for about 90 chapters, in which she had to be rescued, let’s see… I count eight times: nobleman, guts, ch 15-21 (which could be counted as like 4 separate rescues but i’m being generous here), silat, suicide attempt, wyald, judeau during the eclipse (could be 2 separate times but let’s call it one), skull knight at the eclipse.

Compare it to the number of times we see Casca defeat her enemies herself in those 90 chapters: Adon at Doldrey, the nobleman (after Griffith throws her a sword), a few attempted rapists as she’s running from the 100 man fight (before Judeau and co show up and get the rest for her), and one of the Bakiraka assassins.

(I counted the nobleman in both categories lol bc Griff threw her a sword and chopped off his ear first to interrupt the rape attempt, but Casca finished him off and was also a kid so she gets points for that. Just fyi.)

Or compare that to Guts, who is a full character throughout the whole 300+ chapters of story, and had to be rescued once when Griffith rode back for him after their first raid, once when Griff leapt in to save him from Zodd, a monster neither of them could actually defeat and it was actually fate that saved their asses, and once when Skull Knight showed up at the Eclipse. Oh, I suppose there was one time Gambino killed an enemy on the battlefield for him when he was like six. And Skull Knight didn’t save him from Slan, but he did save him from the subsequent cave collapse, so let’s be fair and count that too.

Versus an uncountable number of times he defeated his enemies himself.

Or compare it to human Griffith who is a character for about as long as Casca, and has to be rescued once after he’s tortured to the point of helplessness. Maybe twice if you include Zodd killing Wyald while Wyald’s holding him. And even after he’s physically helpless he manages to save the group once himself.

My point being that Miura chooses what to write, and he chose to write a ridiculous amount of situations where Casca needs to be rescued. He chose to make her a victim many many times even though she’s theoretically a highly accomplished warrior, and then he went all in and turned that into her entire character in the 250 chapters post-Golden Age, and I am absolutely gonna criticize that choice.

Finally, I often cite the way the Hawks fully respect and admire Casca as one of my favourite things about her character, and I don’t think I’ve ever suggested that she wasn’t hurt by Griffith and Guts lol, so i’m not sure why you brought those things up.

[badmousestuff-blog]

Is TAXATION THEFT

(SHOTS OF ME OPENING A LETTER)

Mmm Money. Oh hello there, Badmouse, I was just enjoying the sweet sweet smell of the British Payslip, nah its pretty bland, this one here’s from a job I had about 2 years ago, ah memories, memories, memories…. (Sees Tax) I’ve been stolen from.

£50 taken from me! Money that I don’t even get to decide how it gets spent, 1 vote every 5 years out of 2 preselected jerks every 5 years I wouldn’t call a great turnaround. We don’t tolerate thieves coming into our houses and stealing our prized possessions, why do we allow the Federal government to do the same?

(British Mouse appears) We don’t have a Federal Government in Britain, you poser twat.

Rational Mouse: Maybe I can be of assistance.

Its not really ‘THEFT’ though is it? Its a lot less of this “Gimmie your money, of you’ll die!” And a lot more of this “Gimme your money, and I’ll give you, Mrs Piggy Winkle.

IrM: Still Theft Buddy! If one man steals from you, is that Theft? What about 5? What if they buy the man a hamburger and give him a vote? Is that not still the…

MYOPIA ———————————————

RM: This is Myopic and Archaic guff dude

(Irrational Mouse Gasps)

This isn’t how the form of governance we now inhabit came to be anyway, its like that Who will Pick the Cotton without slaves analogy when you compare it to Roads.

Its conflating a systemic transport basis, to a generalised commodity thats sold many times over. They’re not the same thing, theres a very obvious reason why business prefers state run roads the same way industrialised economies prefer state run schools. You’re sort of neglecting why these things came to emerge in the first place. Is it it any coincidence that most of the toll roads started being gutted when Feudalism came to a close?

IrM: Who even are you?

RM: Oh, I’m RATIONAL MOUSE

IrM: So that means I’m…

(RM does the Jack Nicolson eyebrows)

IRRATIONAL MOUSE… Well thats not fair is it?

RM: Look just read the script bud, y’know how it ends

IrM: Fucking writers, you don’t do anything…

RM: Excuse me

IrM: The state has been showcased to be an incredibly inefficient, bureaucratic nightmare, that can never innovate like the market can, it wastes too much of its money, I mean have you seen the state’s attempts to be cool, they couldn’t even make a Millennium Dome profitable.

EFFICIENCY ———————————————

RM: Well you’re right on profits but apart from that its pretty much all Chicago School taft

(IrM gasps)

So many of us have a distrust for the public sector these days, its really no wonder seeing as for the past 40 years men in suits have done an active push of erasing the private sector defects by blaming the state. Quite interestingly, and surprisingly for a lot of leftists, the state sector is actually very efficient, especially when it comes to R&D.

IrM: Blow me

RM: No, I’m serious, wide spread free at the point of use services benefit amazingly from economics of scale. https://newint.org/features/2015/12/01/private-public-sector http://www.psiru.org/sites/default/files/2014-07-EWGHT-efficiency.pdf

Let me put it this way, what seems more efficient to you. Have 10 businesses all competing to not to make the best product, but to win them over to you, you can’t just ask them. In order to do that you’ve gotta come up with some snazzy designs, aesthetically pleasing logos, a funky marketing gimmick, before long you’re spending so much dough in marketing you’re not even interested in helping people, just getting yourself seen. Or You could just have one org that does all of that stuff, it doesn’t need to compete. Sounds to me like a lot of hands that could be spend doing R&D.

IrM: Thats investment not waste, besides R&D is the definition of the private sector … Yea?

RM: No. The private sector utilises R&D a lot, but effectively every piece of GPT was created in the public sector. Yes Samsung made this phone, but who made the battery that goes in it? Why is the state sector significant? TIME. Companies flock new models of these out every year to keep the money train rolling, and most importantly keep faith with their shareholders. Makes them flimsy, crappy, liable to break. But GPT takes decades not years to bring it up to commercial satisfaction. Do you really think that  shareholders are gonna give you investment with the tagline of “Coming this summer. 2047”

Fact remains, we’ve had plenty of time to analyse the effects of the free-market and what we find is theres hardly any greater efficiency.

IrM: You’re really getting off topic here, okay fine businesses want roads, the market isn’t as efficient as I thought, it doesn’t mean that taxes are moral.

WHY BASE AN IDEOLOGY AROUND IT? —————————————————————

Fair enough, the government sure as hell does take my money through a warm gun doesn’t it?

But for the vast majority of us… its really small, like in my pay check I only lost 1/20th of my monthly income, and sure its annoying not being able to spend that on the latest gamer game or a lush soap but I am getting free healthcare, an education, a polli… I’m getting firemen, ROADS, libraries, Society. If thats worth £50 a month then fuck me daddy I’m ready.

(BRITISH MOUSE gasps)

Point here is, you’ve got no semblance basing your entire ideology around something so insignificant, especially when the majority of us will not be owners we’ll be workers and buyers. Now I’m no normie, I know that a lot of this just goes on corporate warfare, IMF loans, and bailouts. But I recognise that thats part of the system we live in and sadly we have to hang on to what we’ve got whilst the very government I am under is selling it all off to the highest bidder. Don’t want things getting worse do I?

IrM: Yeahh its not a significant thing to base your ideology around, but you’re not getting the point, Taxation is still THEFT!

RM: Ok.

IrM: (Puzzled) eh… No, Taxation is Theft.

RM: Well at this point does anyone care about the views of an An-cap. Come back to reality dude.

(Blinding light)

IrM: The right of a man to own his own own property is a right ordained by common natural law prerequisite to our beings here on earth, through the self-ownership of a person’s own oneself, by natural exclusivity to the creation of ethics and rule of law, as prescribed in first principles, to disagree is literal rape and medieval iceland an…

RM: Alright I get it, you want a wibbly wobbly philosophical answer. Look I could the Positive/Negative rights shit if you want, Kant and Moral hierarchies if we want, I really don’t think folks give a damn about that right now, besides theres probably better people who could do that job than me (Olly)

I think when the dust has settled it all comes down to taxes being negligible compared to what you defend.

IrM: Huh?

RM: Exploited Labour

IrM: Huh, there is no exploitation, if I want someone to pick my potatoes…

EXPLOITATION IN 45 SECONDS

A man has £10 worth of Capital, he uses this to buy raw materials. He pays a wood turner to turn this wood into a chair worth £50. For this he pays the labourer £10. The turner therefore has to make 5 chairs in this arrangement in order to buy 1 of them for himself. You don’t gotta be a genius to see theres a disconnect going on here…

Remember my old pay check? I made about £1000 a month, Now as you…

IrM: Why do you keep leaving? I’m in here?

RM: I got £1000 a month, in an average day we made £1500 worth of goods, generally there were 3 people there each day. Divided by all of us thats £500 each. Now I’m gonna be super generous and say that only half of that is profit, that brings us up to a daily average of £250, but I only saw £60. Whats going on here?

IrM: You decided to take that job…

RM: No I didn’t it beats eating ass omelettes for a living.

I’m not denying its very liberal estimate it is, but £190 is a lot of money that I literally get no say in how its spent, I’m sure a lot of it would of have to have gone back into my employment or taken out as more taxes, but its not the specific amount I’m interested in, the point is I get no say my labour power, I don’t even get a vote, best I can do is fuck my boss. If we drag this out to a month, thats £3000, I’m getting screwed. And this, this small little number, is what we consider… THEFTTTTTTTTTTTT. Those Chicago boys were good.

IrM: You can… You can start your own business…

RM: Majority will always be workers not owners.

IrM: Not if everyone decided to save up their money and open one

RM: Nobody’s going to buy your cigars if they’ve quit smoking to sell you cigars.

PAUSE

And don’t think I’d stop there, I’d consider RENT theft too, think of all the money we spend so just existing in buildings, somehow I don’t think it costs half our pay checks to have personal washing machine fixers.

IrM: But its their property

RM: O RLY?

IrM: Yes, if they weren’t allowed to do that then they wouldn’t bother, nobody would be able to find anywhere to rent

RM: And maybe if jesus had been hanged we’d all be kneeling over a fucking gibbet.

IrM: Wa.httt??

RM: Theres a reason I think why we call them American Libertarians. See if you pick up a copy of Adam Smiths stuff you’ll notice that he’s not the pastiche we think of him as. Check this out… “The landlords like any other men, love to reap where they never sowed, and demand a rent even from its nature produce” Now I’m not saying BOOM Smith’s a lefty, the point is he didn’t view Capitalism as great just because, he was looking at it based in his experience of the system as it existed in Britain.

But America has a very different history to us Anglos, the entire nation was founded upon a certain hatred of taxes, and tea.

BM: Actually it never really was about the taxes, they just wanted to own the slaves whole sale, didn’t want old money controlling the colonies so they could …

And when you take the views of this man, and throw it into the melting pot of Exceptionalism and Capital, you get all sorts of zany concepts, like the Self-Made man, The U-turned addict, the Noble Christian, and above all the cult of the founders. They’re dead, they’re not going to sleep with you, I’m sorry.

So what of it? Is Taxation theft? Sure, but its not worth basing your life around it. We all think the Capitalist process is just the general flow of life but its very recent, Medieval Ireland and Iceland don’t compare guys, and at the heart of that system is Exploitation, something that we all as a class deal with on a daily basis, and gain nothing from. One might argue, Taxes on business are a trade off for what they get from us.

I know when you first get into politics its juicy to claim theft over a little bite out of your salary, but we only see it that way because its… literally right in front of us, there isn’t a spare column that counts your total labour value. We shouldn’t get so pissed off over the pennies scraped off instead of the huge overhead.

IrM: Well, guess you got me there.

RM: The circle is complete

BM: I must say it really is a very American thing this whole Taxation, not good business isn’t it rather? RM: Well at least we don’t live in a socialist country… like FRANCE!

Yeah thats like 2, 3, 4 personas in 1 video, I could start an extended universe.

BOOM RAWRRRRRRRR

Oh what now?

I’M THE LATE FOR TRENDS GUY, FEMINISM IS CANCER!

nope nope.

WAIT, STOP, SOMEONE GIVE ME AN OPINION!

[nerdygamerace]

My D.A (WKM)

Alex

Full Name: Alexandra Sarah Riverwell  

Nicknames: Alex ((She uses this more than her Full name)) Ice Queen ((By the guys who tried to flirt with her in the office and got turned down)) The beast ((From her college days.))  Thorned Rose. ((From a few Judges that believes you cannot grab her without getting hurt, Plus the same for some police officers.)) and Lady Luck. ((She got this nickname because she never lost a single poker game with anyone, Form college and beyond.))

Gender: Female ((She a bit butch though))

Age: 32

Cultureal Background: White ((French and English history but grew up in America))

Hair: Spikey short Bob cut

Hair Color: Dark brown

Eye color: Dark Emerald Green

Marks: No tattoos but she has a scar on the back of her left leg. It's long and goes from the ankle to the back of the Knee. ((She got it from an old Police case where she knocked the mugger she was chasing to the ground but He cut her leg good which made her retire from Her police work and go into her degree of Law))

Height: 6 Feet 6 Inches

Body Type: Muscular, very muscular and skinny ((She can lift up to 250 pounds without any issues, 350 if she pushes herself to the Max))

Weight:185 Pounds 10 Oz ((Most of it is  Muscel))  

Piercings: One small Golden loop on each ear

Sexuality: Asexual/ Biromantic

Extra facts: She Wears reading glasses, She has a glare that can shut up anybody who sees it, She carries a large flip knife with her at all time, she can handle a lot of achonal, She's a Heavy sleeper, she Snores She will never be caught dead in make up or a dress, most if not all of the time she is mistaken as a man, she knows  how to disarm any weapon, and she also knows how to attack anyone  with her hands only, She sees Damien as a little brother, She can write with both hands, She loves small children and infits, She can lower her voice to sound like a man for a bit enough to pass off as a guy during trials and phone-calls, She has carried Damien before when His old wounds on his hip are too much to handle, She is a black coffee type of gal, She's a night owl, She a bookworm, She loves Rain, Hates the Actor Mark as she knows he never bothers to learn his lines and makes changes but he's so famous and popular everyone goes with it and she hates him and his movies. She dislikes tea but drinks it but it is rare, She loves Snakes and wants to own a few in the future,

Life: She had a normal childhood born and raised into the loving arms of two women, Who were happy she was healthy after they paid so much to have her, She grew up smart happy and healthy Straight A's and a ran track. College she studied Law and meant a rich young man named Damien after They were put into the same room because they mistook her as a man, Damien wanted to coreet it at first until he relised that Alex wanted to be with a guy roommate. After that He taught her how to hide her voice and sound more manily and mascline. They grew into fast friends both smart and tanleted, Both getting A's and B's in college and Law school. After College though she became a cop so she could work both sides catching and condanting Crimals. But after getting a bad scar she decide to work as a lawyer but she was a damn good cop too. And knows how the law works, She also was the one to help celine get a dicovce from amrk while she was on the Run, Damien was the one to Pay Alex and relised it was his old friend, He then had her become the DA and she's been working for Damien for years.

Relationships with the Cast:

1: Damien: Known him since College, they were roommates and studied and partied toughter, Sometimes Damien would try and keep him friend William in college, Keep him studing but the man was in a different College and to stubborn so he left. Alex treats Damien like a brother, she always protects him and keep him safe, And Yes Damien pulled some strings to let her be the DA but she tells him he didn’t have to but she is a prefect fit for the job and is happy that she can work along side her best friend.

2: William: She knows him though Damien's stories of his old friends and his childhood. She knows a lot about William without once ever meeting him She knows a lot, so she blieves she could be his friend if she could learn to keep all the childhood and stories she knows from Damien to herself until He tells them, Plus she knows Damien has a crush on this man. Plus she does know he's the one who stole Celine away.

3: Mark: She knows him better then she cares to say but rarely sees him in a postive light, No matter how much Damien says how he was a good guy during His childhood. He was a very good man in the past, Now he's fucked up and Alex would not care to be near him, He's a sexest, abusive, lying, backstabbing, meniptive man and she hates him with a passion. Plus he's a terrabile actor, the behide the scences stuff she seen Mark do when she was ther with Damien just showed he wasn;t good even in her profession. Just saying his name leaves a bad taste in her mouth.

4: Abe: She's meet him a few times, He doesn't know her too well but she has put down the hammer of justice a few times on crimanals he cought. And She repects him as a detricve as she knows it's hard in his line of work, She did mostly chasing after muggers and robbers but he works in the murder and rape cases. She knows it has to be hard on the guy, Plus with a lot of dead partners, WHich each death more tragic then the last, It has to hurt a man's soul and drive him to drink.

5: Celine: Alex Only knows her because Of damien and Mark talking about her. Alex doesn;t see her as to trust worthly but she might take a page from Damien's book and try to trust her as her childhood storoes from Damien are sweet but the more resent ones of Cheating, running away, and using her husband just for money also leaves a huge sour taste in Alex's mouth. But tries to give her some lineway knowing Mark as she has meet him before and he was not a nice guy Abusive towards His fellow Actors and the underlings. But she will not see her making friends with Celine anytime soon and if the rumors and stores are true, She’ll hate Celine just as much as she hates Mark.

6: Benjerman/Chief/Gegore: She's never heard of them or meet them or seen them.