#as a kid i would just read and re-read my american girl and dear america books

[starswallowingsea]

i should have been a history major

[alextriestowritestuff]

House of Hades Read With Me

Hey everyone, I’m back with an update. If you haven’t been following this thread, I’ve been reading the Heroes of Olympus series by Rick Riordan. I read the first three books in this series back in 2012 and never finished. If you want to know my background with the PJO series and my thoughts on the Son of Neptune (I started my re-read with that book because Lost Hero is trash imo), you can find that here. My thoughts on Mark of Athena is here. So let’s get into the House of Hades 50% update that will include spoilers so you’ve been warned. 

Okay so I’m going to use two images to convey my thoughts on this book so far:

Okay so let’s address the first image... um. I’m fucking terrified. I’m scared of Percy and I’m scared for him and Annabeth (She told him that she loves him ahhhhhh, I need him to say it back tho). My past read with me’s have been pretty harsh on the HoO series so far but I really like this book so far. Dear gods, please let the other half of the book be good! Rick you’re doing amazing sweetie (kind of-we’ll get into it). So far, I’ve cried at Percy and Annabeth thinking about each other and how tired and hungry they are. And when Percy and Annabeth were surrounded by Kelli and the other empousai and I really thought it was done for them (I know they don’t die but the fear I felt was real) then Bob came in and saved them. And when Percy was surrounded by the Arai and Annabeth was temporarily blinded by a curse. Like he literally says, if I’m going to die, I’m not going to let them hurt Annabeth and he went out fighting (out meaning unconscious in this case) ughh my heart. It was torn out of my chest!! 

Brief pause because the Arai said that Calypso cursed Annabeth because Percy left her and I just can’t really emotionally deal with that fact because Battle of Labyrinth is my favorite PJO book BECAUSE of Calypso’s appearance. I’ve held a torch for that girl to find happiness for years and to think she cursed Annabeth (Obvi she didn’t know it’d actually affect Annabeth years later), that shit kills me. But I remember thinking in the Last Olympian why Percy didn’t ask for some sort of amnesty for Calypso when he was telling the gods to claim their kids, etc. So I’m glad he realizes he f-ed up there but ugh why Calypso?? It’s okay, I know that her and Leo get together so she’ll be happy eventually. I just have to wait. 

But let’s also talk about the fact that I’m starting to feel bad for monsters? Annabeth and Percy have been reflecting on what it’s like to be sent to Tartarus by a demigod and slowly reforming. And all the curses the Arai gave Percy were manifestations of how he killed those monsters so he felt their deaths which seeing him in pain, put me in pain. Like Rick don’t do this to me. I don’t want to feel bad for monsters but I do. I’m curious to see how this experience will change Percy and Annabeth’s willingness to kill monsters in the future. I really like this presentation of the monster’s perspective, I think it’s very interesting. In relation, I’ve noticed HoO is a lot darker in theme (even before this book) just by the way they phrase things. Like the demigods will say ‘kill monsters’ or ‘kill’ very easily compared to PJO where I felt that death was sugar coated because it was a middle grade genre. Most deaths were off screen (off page?) like Beckendorf’s. Or not very grim. And this series is much more in your face about it, especially in House of Hades. It was hard to get used to at first but I think it shows maturity, it’s well within the realm of YA to kill off characters and explicitly say so it’s just strange going from PJO to this imo. 

Moving onto the next image, the slowly being seduced one. AHAHA Um can someone tell me why I was briefly seduced by Frank and Percy?? So Percy, I’m always seduced by, that’s not new. But him being scary makes him 100x more attractive. Like imagine if Percy had been on the titan’s side? The gods wouldn’t have had a chance. Here’s some quotes:

(This is after Percy kills Arachne, on pg 6) Percy kicked the dust on the rocks, his expression grim and dissatisfied. “She died too easily, considering how much torture she put you through. She deserved worse.” Annabeth couldn’t argue with that, but the hard edge in Percy’s voice made her unsettled. She’d never seen someone get so angry or vengeful on her behalf. It almost made her glad Arachne had died quickly. “How did you move so fast?”

Then when Percy convinces Bob to kill the reforming Hyperion, Annabeth thinks this: 

How was he keeping his cool? The way he talked to Bob left Annabeth awestruck…and maybe a little uneasy, too. If Percy had been serious about leaving the choice to Bob, then she didn’t like how much he trusted the Titan. If he’d been manipulating Bob into making that choice…well, then, Annabeth was stunned that Percy could be so calculating.

He met her eyes, but she couldn’t read his expression. That bothered her too (22). 

Like what?!?! Please come pick me up, Uncle Rick. I’m scared. What’s happening to Percy?? I need them to get out of there STAT! I have no theories as to why he’s acting like this (maybe it’s the energy of Tartarus) but I’m excited to see where it goes. But Scary Percy is also right up my alley so ugh, I’m conflicted. 

So next, Frank. Rick did something hella problematic here but before I get into that, here’s the line where I was slowly being seduced by him:  

Frank was faster. He lunged at Trip and slammed him into the wall, his fingers locked around the god’s throat.

“Think about your next words,” Frank warned, deadly calm. “Or instead of beating my sword into a plowshare, I will beat it into your head” (19). 

Like ngl, that choke thoo?? I’ve never been attracted to Frank but my god, the dangerous tone, the threat. I had to put my hair up and get a cold glass of water when I read that. Frank was the last person I thought would do something like this but I am not mad at all. Very Ares of him.

What I am mad about, however, is the fact that after this scene, Frank (or it’s Hazel that notices) notices that he’s becoming taller and better built. Because Mars/Ares gave him a little ‘grow spurt’. Now let me say this: I’m not one of those people who think that everything problematic was meant to be intentionally offensive/stereotyping/harmful. I know that Rick has had his fair share of controversies ever since he’s been incorporating diverse characters. That comes with the territory of writing marginalized character-I’m black and I still have watch myself in how I portray black characters. He has do the research and I don’t he did it. Sorry. 

And I’m sure I haven’t even caught half of the problematic things brought up in HoO (there’s times where Hazel’s hair or skin is described as cinnamon, like food when other non black characters don’t get that kind of description. Also the fact that her name is Hazel like Hazelnut has always bothered me but I digress). Back to Frank’s growth spurt. Prior to that, other characters have described him as a bit on the chubbier side, baby faced, ‘big guy’ (that bothers me tho but that might be an internalized societal mentality that any word like fat or big = bad. And that’s not always true but I personally don’t feel comfortable calling someone that), etc. And he’s of Asian (spec. Chinese) descent. For what it’s worth, I’m not Asian so this may be out of lane to talk about but from my personal life experiences, Asians tend to be on the smaller end of the scale when it comes to size. I am 5″7 ish, size 6 and I would be considered overweight in mainstream Asian stores but in Western stores, I’ve never had an issue fitting in something or finding my size. I also tend to have a lot of options fashion wise. I have an Asian friend (Lmao I feel like one of those yt people who are like I have a black friend so I can say this and that. sorry I’m trying to get a point across) and she is plus sized. She doesn’t fit into the straight sizes in America so by Asian standards, she’s considered anywhere from moderately to morbidly obese. And she faces a lot of judgement from her Asian relatives because of it in addition to the fatphobia that has infiltrated American society as well. 

My friend doesn’t see a lot of representation for Asians her size. If she does she sees Asians that isn’t as thin and small, it’s people with my size who are considered thin by Western standards but ‘big’ by Asian sizing. My problem with having Frank be given a growth ‘spurt’ is that it’s erasing that plus sized Asian representation. This wouldn’t have been a good thing to do to ANY character that was plus sized but do you see where it’s even more problematic to do because of his Asian ancestry? It would’ve been fine if at the end of the series, he got hella fit and happens to be more in shape because of all the fighting he’s done but to be given that growth spurt implies that there was something wrong with his size in the first place. And so far, the other demigods have been taking him more seriously (Frank notes that Leo has stopped teasing him as much) which is kind of thin privilege esque to me. Frank may not be my favorite character but he deserved respect, no matter his size. I think this growth spurt aspect was hella problematic and Rick shouldn’t have done it. It was also unnecessary as hell. He looked fine before and could do everything the other (thinner) demigods could do just as well.

This is getting long so let me get to my last couple of points: Nico and the many, unnecessary POVs.

As y’all know by now, I think Nico deserves rights. He deserves friends and place to call home where he belongs. Both Frank and Jason didn’t want to be alone with Nico because they thought he was creepy and I can see where this is a set up to eventually have him fit in but damn, he’s just a kid. Be nice to my son. I feel like one of those mom’s who just wants their kid to make a friend at school. Will Solace as his love interest please come sooner. Again, I’ve been spoiled to this. I’m interested to see how this pans out and if this relationship will be a kind of aside mention like the fact that Grover and Juniper are dating or will it be given the same focus as opposite sex couples like Percabeth and Jasper. And I already knew Nico liked Percy but I didn’t expect it to come out in the way it had. It makes his relationship with Percy make a lot more sense. And I see how Nico could view him in that sense after Percy saved him and Bianca in Titan’s Curse and how he was like the real life version of his Mythomagic games (also I totally forgot he played that, he’s not that excited little boy anymore ugh, his innocence left ever since Bianca died). Overall, I think Nico being gay was handled well-Jason’s reaction was very straight but supportive so he gets a pass there. My point is Nico deserves the world. That’s all. 

The POVs. Again, I don’t know if people who aren’t writers would have an issue with the POVs in this series but I do. So far, we’ve had Hazel, Leo, Frank, Annabeth, Percy, and Jason narrate. I said this before, Rick needs to stick to 3 or 4 POVs because this shit don’t make sense. Annabeth and Percy are in the same setting together, they can’t even go on side quests because they’re in Tartarus so like why do we need both of them to narrate?? If they separate at some point, maybe. Don’t get me wrong, I love their narration but it’s jarring as hell to keep bouncing from POV to POV. I also saw somewhere that they don’t get a narration POV in Blood of Olympus in which case, I sure as hell don’t want to be reading the POV in the HoO characters who I don’t really jive with except Leo. So Hazel is going to be important to the Mist thing whatever, it makes sense she gets a POV (and she hasn’t had one since tSoN/same with Jason but the Lost Hero instead) but Frank and Leo? And I really thought since it’s 5 demigods (Percabeth in Tartarus) they’re going to be able to do side quests with all 5 of them that we didn’t need so many POVs but guess I was wrong. Idk it’s driving me insane, Rick should’ve done third person omniscient (Think Harry Potter and it can still follow different people like Percabeth in Tartarus). 

Damn, if this is how much I have to say about the first half of HoH, I’m really excited to get back to reading the last half. I’m HELLA looking forward to have Reyna join the quest temporarily (where I left off, she is on her way to the 5 demigods). I want the Piper/Reyna/Jason thing to be resolved (a lil drama would be nice) so Piper can stop being annoying and insecure. I want to know who Coach Hedge has been talking to and is he a good guy? Oh and another thing that’s been bothering me is Gale, Hecate’s polecat? It just farts all the time. And I have to remember I’m 20 and this books isn’t targeted to me so juvenile humor isn’t funny to me anymore but it’s just kind of gross and unnecessary?? 

Anyway, I’m going to have to start a new post for the last half of my HoH read with me because this thing is long. But you guys, I am invested into this book. It is on par with my love for PJO books so far. I could give this book a 4.5 stars (despite some faults) if it keeps going this way. Thanks for reading! 

[eatbreathewrite]

The Adventures of Todd and Granny

(Alternatively: “I Saw Granny Ethel with the Devil”)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V

Grocery Store

Todd the demon is a he, now, if only because Granny Ethel insists upon using copious ‘Dear boy, keep trying’ and ‘Atta boy!’ critiques to varying degrees depending on how well his needlework, crochet, and knitting attempts progress.

Gender isn’t a concept the demon concerned himself with before. If Todd had been, say, a girl named Tonya, he supposes he’d be a she instead. If Todd had been gender-neutral and properly communicated with his grandmother, he supposes she would call him they or child, appropriately. Granny Ethel isn’t one to discriminate. Even when she properly wears her glasses and sees his obviously un-Todd-like appearance, only shaking her head and smiling with a good-natured “kids these days” on her lips. But he wouldn’t mind if Granny Ethel called him boy, girl, thing, or abomination, so long as she stayed happy.

Granny Ethel is a patient woman. Todd simply can’t understand why or how she’d become the black sheep of her family, especially after a full week of living with her hospitality. Through the constant baked goods and the modest but satisfying three-meals-a-day; the careful (oh-so-careful) dusting of trinkets and bookshelves with tiny cloths and feather dusters not fit for large claws, which he insists upon doing while she looks on in worry before brewing more coffee; the midday television re-run breaks spent sealing cash donations into envelopes and discussing human rights issues instead of watching old shows, he simply can’t think of her as anything but a paragon of her kind.

It’s a problem with them, he concludes. Not her.

It isn’t a decision he makes lightly.

Spending such a brief time with her, he’s already learned so much more about humans than he ever would have cared to know, beyond perceiving them as vessels or a means to an end. There is much suffering in the world—sometimes even more than that in Hell—but there is also kindness.

He’s known that, but he witnesses it first hand during their first trip outside of Granny Ethel’s home.

“Come, now, Todd, we have much shopping to do. I’m afraid my pantry isn’t stocked appropriately for the upcoming food donation drive and I can’t just skip it this month.”

Todd remembers addressing an envelope to the local food bank—most people would stop there, figuring their good deed was done.

“I also have to stock up on this week’s groceries. Feel free to buy whatever you want, dear. I can cook anything, you know! At least, I try. I suppose you’d like some snacks, too. But I am so glad you’re here; think of all the bags we can carry between the two of us!”

There is no car in Granny Ethel’s driveway, or a garage to store it. He wonders how they’re going to make it to the grocery store as he waits for her to lock the door behind them, as she hobbles down the two small concrete steps with her cane in hand.

It isn’t until she’s halfway down the sidewalk that he realizes they’re walking. In public.

An old crone in black and a demon at her side, wearing a handmade shawl so lovingly stitched with various, terrifying occult symbols.

He isn’t the only one who sees a problem with this—the neighbor’s dog, a small, bug-eyed thing, yaps indignantly at them from the front lawn as it bounces around the dewy grass at its owner’s feet, soon erupting in warning yowls and howls, before falling silent mid-yip when Todd locks eyes with it. The neighbor—Maurice, if he remembers Granny Ethel’s gossip correctly—stands frozen, watering can dangling limp from his hand as he overwaters the begonias at his feet, mouth hanging open in undignified disbelief.

“Good morning, Maurice!” Granny Ethel calls with unmitigated cheer, and a hint of pride. “Nice morning, isn’t it? Oh! Have you met my wonderful grandson Todd? He finally came to visit! We’re going shopping now. Will you watch my house?”

Maurice simply stares, dumb with shock.

Halfway down the block, another neighbor’s car brakes with a squeal before they make it out of the driveway and they stick their head out of the window to gape.

Shutters crack open. Curtains are shoved aside.

Before Todd knows it, they are the cul-de-sac’s center of attention.

Granny Ethel doesn’t pay it any mind and continues obliviously on, waving to each face in turn as those faces pale, yet hers remains rosy.

“My, such a busy day today. I haven’t seen everyone out like this since the Fourth of July block party. Oh, if you’re still here during summer, Todd, we should definitely take part. Maybe we should start knitting an American flag for the occasion. What do you think?”

He can only nod.

They make it to the grocery store without incident—aside from the broken fire hydrant caused by a distracted driver and the one, single person who ran away screaming, and the handful that crossed themselves, and the one person bold enough to snap a picture with their phone before Todd grabbed it from their hands and threw it while Granny Ethel wasn’t looking, too distracted with how well the city’s roadside flowers were blooming—and Todd, ever the gentledemon, takes a small shopping cart from its line and trails behind Granny Ethel as she consults the list taken from her purse.

As expected, those within the store stop and stare. Even the calming elevator music jolts to a pause.

A young man in an employee vest, who looks high, shoots Todd the demon-horn hand sign and smiles before swaggering away to the frozen food aisle, and the manager meekly approaches them, skirting around a fresh fruit display.

“Ma’am, is there—is there something I can—do you need help?” he asks, sweating from his receding hairline to his neck as he tugs at his collar and straightens his frumpy tie.

“Oh! I’m so glad you asked. I didn’t see any sales circulars by the door—what kind of specials are on right now? Particularly on things like pizzas and cereals and whatever else young men like to eat.” Granny Ethel leans in close to the man, close enough to loudly whisper, “See, my grandson here is a quiet, shy boy despite his appearance, and I don’t think he’d ask me himself, but I bet he’d love to get some junk food to snack on between meals.”

The manager’s eyes widen, blood-shot, as he looks to Todd, who only smiles—which comes off as terrifying, he’s certain, with all the sharp teeth and red eyes involved.

“S-SURE! Junk food. Right. Um—uh, w-well, I think there’s a BOGO—buy one get one free—deal on the frozen pizzas. Uh…most cereals are marked down right now…th-there’s a sale on potato chips…hot dogs…” His voice trails off, too burdened with trembles and fear as he continues to hold Todd’s gaze. “And—you know, I’m sure some other employee can help you, ma’am. I’m not one anymore as of this moment. I QUIT.” That said, he yanks the flimsy plastic nametag from his shirt and runs for the door, followed by half of the shoppers who abandon their carts and drop their baskets, scattering groceries everywhere.

Granny Ethel watches him go, then sighs. “He must have been overworked and stressed. I almost walked out on a job a long time ago for the same reasons, but I needed it. You be careful of corporate America, Todd.”

He takes her words to heart, and he fully agrees.

Shoppers that remain in the grocery mart avoid them at all costs as they meander through the frozen food section, the bread aisle, the junk food corner—and Granny Ethel pays them no mind, filling the cart to the brim with refills of groceries she needs back at home and treats she thinks Todd needs more of in his life. He supposes he does, if she says he does. Far be it from him to contradict her adolescent-savvy wisdom.

Even so, the single shopping cart is far too small for all of the spoils—halfway through the shopping list, he finds them in need of another. It isn’t an issue. Many are left scattered, abandoned, around almost every corner. By the end of the list, both carts are full to the brim, and Granny Ethel is simply beaming.

The checkout lines are deserted—they have their pick. Although only one station is manned by a clerk, and it greatly narrows their choice.

As Todd wheels the two shopping carts to the register, he recognizes the young employee from before, who once again shoots him the demon-horn hand symbol.

“Love your poncho, dude,” Sam (as his nametag reads) comments with a bit of a tired drawl, and there are dark shadows under his eyes as expected from an overworked youth on minimum wage, but he is otherwise energetic, quickly scanning each of the items set on the conveyor belt, and smiling at demon and old woman in turn. “Did the little lady here knit that for you?”

“Crocheted!” Granny Ethel corrects with a grin, preening like a proud parakeet. “It does suit him, doesn’t it? Of course, I would never make something that didn’t suit my dear grandson. He must always be well-dressed.”

“You seem like a really supportive gramma. That’s cool. When I was in my super hardcore death metal phase, mine just dragged me to church every Sunday.” A digital beep accompanies nearly every word as he skillfully rings up each grocery down the line.

“Oh, I would never do that. Mainly because I no longer belong to a church. And also because Todd seems so averse to discussing Bible passages, so I never force him.”

At this, Todd gives a wry smile. He places the final handful of groceries onto the conveyor belt and sidles around Granny to the other side of the checkout, bagging the groceries that have already been scanned. It seems the official bag boy has fled in fright.

“I can imagine. Never one for religion, myself. Oh, and you’re eligible for the senior citizen’s discount, so let me just…” Sam pauses a moment to key in a code on the register and it dings. “Aaand, there. Your total comes out to $204.56. Stocking up for the winter already? It’s only March.”

“Oh, dear, no. Half of this is for the food drive!” Granny Ethel chuckles good-naturedly as she leans her cane against the counter and digs through her small pocketbook and produces a checkbook, then dives back in to search for her favorite pen.

Sam turns to Todd while awaiting payment. “By the way, dude, that costume is killer. I’ve never seen anything so realistic, with the added bonus that you scared the boss away! Totally made my day. My week, even.”

Todd gives a nod, happy to be of service, even if it isn’t a costume. He can’t exactly say it aloud. Perhaps one day he’ll learn how to speak English coherently, but for now nonverbal cues work just fine.

Finally, Granny Ethel finds her pink, plastic jewel-encrusted ballpoint pen and makes out a check to DeVille-Mart, even going so far as to take one of the heavier paper bags for herself, never one to make Todd carry all of the groceries himself. “You have a wonderful day, young man. Thank you.”

“Y’all have a great day, too, Ma’am.” Sam offers a toothy smile, and it seems sincere enough as he sees them off with a lazy wave “Hope to be seeing you shop here again.”

Todd isn’t so sure they’ll ever return once upper management hears about this visit, but it’s nice to know they are accepted by at least one individual.

“Now, Todd, let’s get to the food bank. We have such a long day ahead of us. But there’s a reward at the end of it—I bought ingredients specifically for chocolate turtle brownies!”

If the visit to the food bank is in any way similar to this excursion—and it will be, he decides, as yet another gawking driver’s car slow-collides with the corner vending machine when they pass through the automatic doors—they have a long day ahead of them, indeed.

[ourhero]

Untitled

Editor’s Note: This started as a mid year progress report, and turned into something else. Enjoy.

We’re 223 days into 2017. And I have to say, personally, I’m very pleased with how this year is panning out. Again, let me reiterate that this is based solely on my personal life- the world and America, at large, are a whole other story which I cannot delve into because I just don’t have the time to smash the patriarchy, belittle most Republicans and  re-cap the daily shit show that is occurring in our country.

But, I’m good!

Wow, that sounds so fucking dumb. As if I am totally unaware of how awful things are in the world. Trivial. Entirely surface. Anything I put here now, seems like pure fluff compared to the reality.

How do you write when it all seems… meaningless? For the first time in months, I’ve sat down to write because I’ve actually wanted to. Because I felt as if I had something to share- something that people would read, connect with and say “wow, I sure missed Brady’s writing”. But now, as I try to conjure up anything of depth or wit, I’m struck by how much none of it matters in the grand scheme of things at this very moment. And yet, the Word document stays open. And I’m still here, watching a blinking cursor.

Why do I want to write? Why am I so compelled, even when I don’t want to share it? When I was a kid, I was obsessed with these books called “Dear America”, which were fictional diaries of girls living in some of our country’s (and later in the series, our world’s) most difficult times. From the Revolutionary War to the Holocaust, to the bombing of Pearl Harbor. It also helped that I was a huge history nerd (Thanks, American Girl!) and these fed right into that niche. These books, I now realize, were instrumental in not only teaching me how to read a long book, but how to tell a story, and how important it was to share mine.

I started journaling in the 3rd grade. I had a Winnie the Pooh journal that had a vinyl cover, a flimsy plastic lock, and multi-colored pages. It’s long gone now (thrown out during my childhood move), but I remember what was in it. I listed what I did during the day, how my parent's divorce made me feel, how my friends brought such joy to my life. I wrote down pretty much anything and everything, no matter how unimportant it seemed in the moment, right down to what we had for dinner. I may not have noticed it, but I was striving to make my life be as important as those fictional historical journals I poured and obsessed over.

On a shelf in my bedroom, is every journal (full or not) that I have written in since fifth grade. (Here’s a picture).

I tend to carry a journal with me wherever I go. Just in case I feel the need to write something down. I’ve been known to purchase notebooks if “inspiration” (oh, I use that word very loosely) should strike. And so, I have a handful of drug store notebooks, half filled with thoughts of every kind. Some happy, some sad- but mostly reflective on my life and where I was at.

I have the journal I used when September 11th happened. It’s filled with newspaper cutouts from that day and the following. It’s also full of my fears and anxieties, which would eventually come to a head months later, resulting in my short stint of homeschooling due to overwhelming anxiety and depression.

I have a diary from my days on the cruise ship- lamenting losing my virginity to a man whom later went MIA (and to this day, I believe I am still in a relationship with- since we never officially broke up). It’s full of memories of biking in Alaska, and black sand beaches in Hawaii.

I have a journal that I bought in Italy 7 years ago, and never unwrapped until my return this past January, where I filled it completely- noting every restaurant I ate at and everything I did. It also accompanied me to every bar, where I sat and drank Prosecco and tried to figure out my life. I then returned to shop I bought it at years prior, showed the owner, and bought another.

Writing always meant something to me. It still does, but I think I’m still figuring how to use in the best possible way. I don’t like conflict, so I don’t think I could ever write something where I try to change peoples’ minds about some long-standing issue, however much I believe in it. I don’t like to write fiction- I get bored or overwhelmed and feel that my characters are flat. My plotlines resemble other ones written by authors of little to no acclaim (and hey, that’s okay!).

So I write me, and my life, and the world around me. I write to remember how I felt in an exact moment. I write so I don’t forget the people I meet and the places I go. I write because if I kept all of this up in my head, I think I would be committed.

And if you made it this far in my rambling, you probably get that.

I sat down to write today about… well, anything. And I ended up here. It’s not my most glorious piece of work, but it may answer some questions- why I don’t post regularly and maybe, how we got to this point- this exact moment. With the state of the world, I hesitate; I truly do, about posting something like this. But hey, this is my way of dealing with it.

 Clearly. 

[ktliterary]

About My Query 16

Recently, at the SCBWI Summer Conference, I did a three-hour workshop on queries: what they should include, how to structure them, how to write them, and how to improve them. We’ve been posting About My Query critiques for years now on the blog, and while it’s not a regular feature, it is something we like to do every once in a while, because we know that not every author can get to a conference like SCBWI (although I recommend it if you can!) Without further ado, here’s a recent query sent specifically to me for critique:

Dear Kate,

SOS “Save Our Santa” signals a 5-year-old girl from North Pole. Will anyone answer the call?

Dia’s parents read aloud the front page story of Christmas Day morning newspaper, “Yesterday at midnight, a little girl Dia, took a sick Santa back to North Pole, where elf doctors treated him. Sunrise was only 2 hours away, and Dia knew that the children world over would be waiting for their presents. She wanted to help Santa in being happy and healthy before sunrise, so she sent kids an SOS to help her in quickly curing Santa.”

“Did kids respond to Dia’s SOS? “Was Santa able to deliver gifts before sunrise?” “How did Dia become famous?”

“Dia saves Christmas!” is a holiday fantasy easy to read chapter book for 5-6 year olds. Dia is an Indian American girl born to immigrant parents, who do not celebrate Christmas and other American festivals with the same enthusiasm as Indian festivals. Dia loves sharing her festival stories with her friends. There are not enough diverse books where young children from other cultures, who are trying to form their identities in America’s melting pot, are represented well. I believe they deserve to be heroes in books where they are saving the day. Kids who read diverse books are more likely to become adults with compassion and inclusion; a trend that is currently seen even in Oscars new attendee list and top TV shows like ‘Quantico’, ‘Scandal’ and ‘How to Get Away with Murder’. And, this is my attempt in creating awareness in children’s books.

I am an active member of SCBWI. My article has been published in the Inspiration Unlimited eMagazine.

I’m seeking representation for my book (3,334 words). Please let me know if it sparks your interest; I would be happy to send you the manuscript.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely, U.M.

The author also asks a few specific questions, so I’ll answer those first, and then dive into the query.

1) Did I correctly identify the age group? While I don’t represent easy-to-read chapter books, I do know that the tendency in children’s books is to read up, which is to say there may be some concern about a book about a 5-year-old protagonist being marketed to 5- to 9-year-olds. A lot of easy-to-read books are also part of a series, and published in bulk, so I wonder if this might be better served re-envisioned as a picture book. I also found this a pretty good summary of age ranges for children’s books. 2) Did I correctly identify the genre? Fantasy? Fiction? I think “holiday fantasy” covers it, yes. 3) Did I correctly identify the format? Easy to Read? It works for me, yes. 3) I see that many agents are only open to MG or YA? From your experience is Easy to Read a hard format to sell? It is, for some of the reasons mentioned above. A lot of Easy-To-Read books come out of established series with characters already well known to readers, like Angelina Ballerina or Batman, either from picture books or other media, so it can be difficult to break a new character out, especially if it’s a standalone title 4) SOS “Save Our Santa” signals a 5-year-old girl from North Pole. Will anyone answer the call? – Is this line considered as a pitch? If not, what should pitch contain? It’s a hook, certainly, although some would say a pitch needs to include a bit more information. With that said, let me get to the query critique!

Your first line/paragraph is a little confusing. There’s a timeline disconnect between the little girl sending out the S.O.S. and her parents reading about it in the paper the next day. This may just be a problem of the query, and not the text, but I think you want to keep the action in the present — not about Dia’s parents reading about what she did the night before when she was supposed to be in bed, but about Dia trying to help Santa with a worldwide S.O.S. in order to save Christmas. It also creates a disconnect with the main character, who should be Dia, not her parents.

I would also leave out the quotes from the text. Especially with such a short book, you really want to introduce the story but telling the agent about it, not quoting the pages which very well may be included below. Maybe something more like this?

On Christmas Eve, when Dia tried to stay awake to meet Santa, she was surprised to find him coughing and feverish trying to leave her presents. With not much time left before Christmas, Dia races him back to the North Pole to see his elf doctor, and puts out a worldwide S.O.S. to other children, hoping to quickly find a cure for the Claus.

That’s just an idea, of course.

I love the idea of Dia as an Indian-American child trying to combine her family’s heritage with American customs, and I appreciate your desire to write diverse stories that reflect the world we live in. That said, be wary of preaching to the choir. Instead of boldly stating “There are not enough diverse books where young children from other cultures, who are trying to form their identities in America’s melting pot, are represented well”, be more specific about you want to do with this book, with this project. I would also cut entirely the last two lines from this paragraph — a query for a chapter book isn’t the place to mention tv like Quantico and Scandal. One of my bullet points in my About My Query presentation at conferences is “Don’t Preach to Me”. Like so many in publishing right now, I’m well aware that We Need Diverse Books, and I want to do my part in shepherding them to the bookshelves. Tell me why Dia and her story is the book I want to spend my time promoting, not reminding me of the cause.

I hope this helps, and wish you the best of luck with your manuscript!

About My Query 16 was originally published on kt literary

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Princess Principal 1 | Youkai Apato 2 | 7O3X 2 | Mahoujin Guru Guru 1 | Classroom of the Elite 1 | Saiyuki Reload Blast 2

Princess Principal 1

Welp, it’s a war plot, which normally fares badly with me, but it looks like female anime James Bond, which normally goes down well with me because I loved the Alex Rider and Young Bond series growing up.

Wah? It-It’s English!

Wa-hey! Kajiura. That probably explains the English song (because wasn’t he on Re:Creators too?). Update: No, Re:Creators has Hiroyuki Sawano.

Sometimes this is England, sometimes this is Germany. It’s strange exactly how well the German and English parts go together.

Black Lizard? Like Edogawa Rampo’s phantom thief?

That metal object called Cavorite…it reminds me of Shaun Tan’s The Lost Thing. Haven’t read it, but I love the style of it.

*shakes head* Only in anime would you have ninjas in steampunk London.

Oh gosh, lil bun girl’s voice is whiny and my ep keeps freezing for some reason that isn’t buffering but otherwise I’m impressed. It’s solid in most ways, and the music is perfect for it! It might be just the thing I need to brighten up my season alongside Katsugeki.

Amy Anderson is an English name so I don’t take much issue with it, but it just sounds a lil’ cliché.

There’s CGI in this, but it’s hard to spot because it’s disguised so well.

Who the heck is Kimble? Update: They explain who he is later…

The last man that gets his butt kicked by the ninja girl…LOL.

This ED is English, too...but what the heck is a “dancy conspiracy”?

Youkai Apato 2

I noticed Yushi used haikei (Dear Sir...) which is very formal.

I swore “cigar” was referring to giving Reimei one, but heck. Cigar is his dog…wolf…canine, dangit.

Antiquary? Eyepatch man has no real name???

Oh gosh. Please just get me out of here, I’m not interested in Hard Drinking Party Girl number 384123847098…

Long haired Hase!!! Oh. His name’s Ryu? Okay then.

H-Hey, this just stated that being a weeb is a two way street. It’s vaguely reassuring, actually…

The anime staff didn’t even bother to show Yushi stopping the bleeding. So was it Yushi or was it the removal of the spirit that stopped the bleeding, or what, exactly?

Why are you worried, Akira???

The lunch is from Ruriko, isn’t it?

In the end, I think I’ll say (and I think Yushi would say too) Ruriko is best girl.

Kuri? So that’s the kid’s name…

There’s something ultra sad about Yushi going, “What is a mother, anyway?”

This is still the subpar show it was last week, but it’s a keeper until I decide the lineup. I did indeed get my long-haired Hase, which is a bonus.

7O3X 2

Urgh, they bring the memories of the first ep right back. Can people please stop using fanservice as an incentive to watch more, as engrossing as it may be for certain parts of the audience?

There appears to be someone shoving Mari from behind at the end of the OP…

Wasn’t Napoleon born in Corsica?...Yup.

You gave a question about an anime term…in anime. *rolls eyes* That’s real bottom of the barrel stuff, but the answer is “absolute territory” (zettai ryouiki).

That’s cute, Shiki has an electronic dictionary…

Holy moly! The zettai ryouiki joke worked on me! Plus Gakuto likes zettai ryouiki! Guh!!!

Zettai ryouiki works less and less the more you see it, like a joke. So a zettai ryouiki gag would naturally be the same.

Actually, I think quiz bowl isn’t that popular with girls because some girls are afraid to be geeks, as unfortunate as that is. It kills diversity in certain circles…like the IT industry…

There seems to be a blanket of sadness over this reunion between Mari and her friend.

“Home field”. Dang, opposite answer!

Cache what? Oh, uh, i-it’s a type of wraparound clothing…I know that style, I just didn’t know it had a name.

Recession? Oh dangit! I studied stagflation a few months ago! It happened during the 1970s in America, which is one factor as to why Japan became such an economic powerhouse at the time.

English folk songs? (Really?) I dunno who wrote them, so…I learnt something today.

So Mikuriya Chisato (just another darned reason to watch this show) is a fairly typical shonen rival. Smug as all get out. Not like I’m cursing myself, he’s not hot but he’s easy on the eyes…

Dangit Mikuriya! I was gonna Mallory too! The question is who said “Because it’s therez’ to “Why climb Mount Everest?”, right?...The question is “Why climb the mountain?”, but same diff, people.

Ramsar Convention? Never heard of it.

Sugar honey ice tea, this one seems to be a group based on historical stuff. Congress Dances appears to be a movie based on the Congress of Vienna.

LOL, the scat question was funny just from the strange sounds. The noises that should have followed “doo bee doo bee” must’ve been “doo ba doo ba” then.

Oh! “In the manner of the chapel” is acapella! I thought it looked like something I knew. (Hah, it does help for me to be a former pianist sometimes, eh?)

Dangit, I thought I knew the Newton one, but I blanked out. CV stands for “character voice” – naturally I’d know that one.

Ah, the tale of the underdog. Always makes for riveting drama, it does.

Gahaha! I was completely lost on the literature questions, but man, I laughed so hard at the zettai ryouiki joke. Seems they were building up to something after all. Plus, Chisato’s so amazed, I laugh even harder, that smug butt.

Oh yeah, I wonder why Shiki was in his school uniform, even though Mari wasn’t?

The silhouette from last time is present. Probably a transfer student into Buzou who’ll help the quiz team, knowing anime…There’s Yukirin (or whatever her name is), with the glasses on her head and the scarf around her neck.

“After stripes, Fukami’s preferred-” – I’d presume that’s “After stripes, Fukami’s preferred style of headband is what?” or something like that. You can see she’s wearing an American flag headband in this segment, so I’d say stars or plain pink (like you can see sometimes, like in the ED). Wha-huh? Why does Gakuto know that??? Oh no. Does that mean it was a fanservice question, about Fukami’s panties??? Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*panting and trying to recover from the previous realisation* This show’s boilerplate. It’s got good things to offer, but it also has…*shudders* fanservice. Persistent fanservice. Depending on how bad the new entries this week are (the entries in question are Mahoujin Guru Guru, Classroom of the Elite and Gamers), there may be a chance for this to go on hold (because that’s what I do to shows I can’t be certain about).

Mahoujin Guru Guru 1

ANN said this was alright, so I’m using it to determine whether I should stick on with some of my boilerplate shows (specifically Hina Logi, which doesn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy inside despite its attempts at schoolgirl SoL, 7O3X, which is fun to play with but has fanservice and Youkai Apato, which is overall lacking).

Holy anime, Batman! This thing’s 24 minutes! (I kinda knew that from ANN categorising it as such, but that still had an element of surprise when I saw it on CR.)

The cutesy artstyle doesn’t suit this show. It would be better doing a Gugure! or OPM thing with switching between two styles (chibi and detailed).

Uh, subbers? Why is “Boering” “Jimina”???...Oh, okay. Jimina can mean a lot of different things when in different contexts, but it would mean “boring” in this context, so they went with a deliberate typo on “boring”. I see.

It’s already making me laugh at the mention that this sign would make great firewood. I foresee great things from this show.

Bado’s basically an “I took an arrow to the knee” guy, right?

“No reply. It’s just a corpse.” – LOL.

Oh gosh. Not the magic granny! (sarcastic)

Yeah, I kinda lost interest, but that’s because this is meant to riff off RPGs and ye olde fantasy, right?

You can’t just ride on weird faces alone to carry your humour. I can see how this is funny, but I’m not laughing simply because I find the overreliance of funny faces to convey humour is a bit overused.

Oh. They did it again. Ainshent = Ancient.

Suddenly, these guys go the DN Angel route with the training. Well, it’s better to start in medias res than to have to train from no power at all…

I think it works better with dramatic voice acting. Read the “the money covers that” quickly like the “spoken by” of an ad, then read the “all you get is cash!” with a voice that you use to tell scary stories…and you’re set.

Oh gosh. It’s fanservice, and right after I was complaining about it in 7O3X too…

Arabian blonde girl is so shiny, I can’t see…*bumps into something*

See? I knew he’d take the sword! Not only do they spoil that in the promo material and the eyecatch, Heroes Prefer Swords (to quote TV Tropes)!

Okay, Karamatsu-Nike. Hold up.

No, the counter guy said it was a heavy iron sword, right?

A-hey. So Nike switched to the dagger? Yeah, I thought I saw that dagger previously too, but he’ll probably get the sword someday…or maybe he just bought both. I don’t give any cares for these guys.*shrugs*

This thing is produced well, but mmhmm. I saw an inbetween fram of bishie eyes, and I like me some bishie eyes.

Wait, the monster always wanted to do a monologue? Guess that’s all kinds of villains’ shtick, not just big baddies. (almost laughed, but that kind of joke dies too quickly)

Was that mage perhaps…*gasps* Magic Granny? Noooooooooooooo!

When did he notice her?! (almost laughs, but not quite)

There’s a Laughing Man, an Anpanman and the word shippai (failure).

Well, as a comedy it fares better than Hina Logi, but because it’s a high fantasy parody, it’s sucking at its own job. Sorry, but I’m going to put you on hold. I think I need to reevaluate you with the sound on. Sometimes, I felt like I should laugh, but didn’t because I genuinely couldn’t find a reason to, either, which is kinda rare for me when it comes to comedy. I can see why people like it though.

Classroom of the Elite 1

For some reason, this has glowing reviews, so…let’s see what the hype is about.

Okay, you’re quoting Nietzche. *side eyes* If there’s two things I know about Nietzche, it’s 1) he has some good quotes under his name and 2) he always comments on the state of humanity’s evil. I love to quote the “if you stare into the abyss…” thing, so at least you have my attention.

Classroom of the Elite…Episode…what? It’s a Classroom of the Elite episode. We know that already.

*Googles furiously* I knew it! “Heaven does not make one person above or below another” is a Fukuzawa quote (from An Encouragement of Learning, which I had to learn about from nkhrchy)! However, using two quotes in succession has less effect than just one.

I think it is in my country, you get fined ifyou get caught not giving up your seat to those who need it (including elderly people), so I see the girl’s viewpoint more.

Oh great. *sighs* I start to wonder where the show will go as soon as I see Seiji Kishi. All of the man’s works I’ve seen so far are hit or miss. Ranpo Kitan had a terrible plot but eyecatching visuals, while Tsukigakirei was plodding enough to make me yell at the screen a lot.

Was that a bear in a uniform? I wanna see a bear in a uniform the same way as Mechazawa (Cromartie)!

Man, these pink eyes are weird.

This brunette seems to be a future class rep. You can see it written all over his mannerisms and dialogue…which is exactly what protag thought too, it seems.

The phone’s like a PayPass…?

Horikita? Like that 3rd year?

Fairy Mart, LOL.

*sighs* Of course he’d focus on her assets…urgh.

Doesn’t “uji” mean something along the lines of “surname”, come to think of it?

“Quilsilver” (sic).

Gah-hah (half laughing), it looks like Starbucks! Guess that’s not surprising, knowing how some girls are into their skinny mocha lattes with the soy milk and quinoa. Then again, that’s stereotyping, so that’s mean.

Ayanokouji is hard to read, but I can predict his thought process like we’re completely in sync (which I guess is meant to happen in a show like this). Horikita’s pretty expressionless too, meaning this comes off similar to Sagrada Reset – there’s potential, but the quality of the character writing is hard to determine.

I think Horikita suspects Kushida wants to hang off the dudes. Like something out of Legally Blonde.

Only a dude writer would make a girl mention her underwear so casually…*grumbles*

Since I read ANN prior to watching this ep, I knew the twist, but it was handled competently enough.

“Sapere aude” appeared during the ED. It means “dare to know”, and was first mentioned by Immanuel Kant. I learnt about it in politics, and heck, for a series that relies on lofty quotes like this, it does make sense to include it.

The words in the ED, if not Japanese, are German and Latin, along with a sentence or two of French and some English (because I spotted “…the root of evil”).

This style, that involves a lot of pink…I should’ve known is was Seiji Kishi and Lerche. It vaguely smacks of Ranpo Kitan!

I’m not sure what way this is going to go, but I can say I’m at least intrigued because there does seem to be some strong writing behind this. That means Hina Logi is going on hold.

Saiyuki Reload Blast 2

The gangster feel of this is great, y’know? The perfect way to kick back any day. (Unfortunately, if you want to know how I’m going on Gangsta, I still have it on hold…that was a lil’ subpar compared to what I wanted to cling to that season.)

Just out of interest… Well, here’s a better indication. That’s a pretty long road trip. However, the distance between Adelaide and Darwin (both Australian cities) is longer (3030.61 km or 1883.13 miles or 1636.4 nautical miles if measuring by driving distance on the same site as that second link), so…the Saiyuki guys have no right to complain.

“A salt lake…So a lake filled with salt water.” – You don’t say…I bet there’s a specialised term for that in Japanese, but still.

Float? Like the Dead Sea?

It’s funny how these guys use both magic and science. It’s something I’ve been trying to write ever since “The Future is Crimson”, because being able to combine both into a show smoothly indicates you’re a great writer (at least, in my opinion).

Like, enough with the camera blood splatter and “shooting through” the camera. Otherwise, I’m happy with this battle scene.

Seeing ancient China through a Japanese person’s eyes instead of through my parents’ Chinese version of jidaigeki-style live action dramas is…really something else. I think that’s one reason I’m so attached to this. (In case you’re wondering, yes. My parents watch a lot of old Chinese live action dramas. My dad especially is fond of things involving Mao Zedong or Deng Xiaoping if not those weird period dramas I just mentioned.)

They have credit cards in this period. That’s…hilarious! Then again, we’re talking about dudes with a dragon/jeep and a gun in what seems to be ancient China. Go, anime! (partially halfhearted) (shakes head knowingly*

The more the enemy lady (who appears to be Gyokumen) talks, the more I think of Queen Beryl from Sailor Moon and the more I get hit in the nostalgia. Ah, the 90s. Those were some good days of anime.

Gahhaha, the Sanzo party is full of debauchery, yet I can see why they’ve spawned so many anime seasons and specials.

“Looks like you did get here in the nick of time.”

The Sanzo party sound so unmotivated when they go, “Urasai”.

These extra things really ain’t funny, but…well, it’s almost like seeing an AU of these guys in the modern day. Including, and up to, watermelon smashing. An anime can’t go without at least one watermelon smashing scene if it’s got a beach episode...or it’s summer, which is just a big excuse to show a beach scenario anyway.

Update: After much thought, I regret to say that 7O3X and Youkai Apato are going on hold. The Reflection, which I intended to check out originally, will probably be out on the 29th while I still have Gamers! on tap next.