#as a car gay TM

[breadandblankets]

here's a bat assortment as cars I associate them with:

alfred: columbia victoria, old ass car, looks like they just let the horses loose, also early electric car and the first car to be included in a presidential motorcade

bruce: dodge challenger, a gorgeous piece of american muscle that has been thoroughly ruined by cops

kate: ram 2500 diesel, theoretically a reliable truck with a moderate tow capacity, in reality owned by alcoholic dads

babs: subaru outback (i know what you are)

luke: audi r8 idk i always associate audis with fashionable people and tech bros and idk luke fits that overlap to me..... i just found out this is what tony drives in the mcu..... i swear i didn't pick this on purpose

dick: mclaren spider, pretty, sporty, and really fucking maneuverable like if i had to ask for a (street legal) acrobatic car its this one

jason: Mercedes-Benz 300 SLR jkjk Toyota Hilux an excellent truck that will work forever and also is v good for strapping guns onto

cass: dodge viper, insane power plus tiny body equals a car for people who want to kill themselves

steph: 00s Honda Civic, reliable, dependable, will never die, unfortunately created to be intentionally looked over and driven by people who don't fear death

tim: Lamborghini, expensive, pretty, but if you know you know

duke: Volkswagen Thing, yes this is a real car, yes they look like a toy, theyre technically military vehicle so they come modifiable stock, not very comfortable but it doesn't need to be, it gets its job done and it does it Very well, utilitarian and cool as hell

damian: a Buick coupe, they send him a complimentary AARP membership with it not knowing he's 12, it doesn't much matter though, he appreciates the discounts

[44be1ow]

if someone had told me how gay gta v was, i would've played it a lot sooner

[emo-batboy]

Things Battinson Totally Did During His First Year of University

Using Unhinged or Odd Things I Also Did as a College Freshman :D

Note: for this list, let’s believe Bruce was living in an (admittedly expensive and swanky) dorm because it is required for first-years, especially those entering at a young age, and Alfred told him he needed to make friends. Also yes I did every single thing on this list. I never claimed to be a role model

Bruce, to his TA: I’m so sorry I’m late to class. I gave blood a few hours ago and almost fainted on the way here, but it won’t happen again.

Signs up for a class called “Age of Dinosaurs” despite it not being required whatsoever and proceeds to work his entire schedule around it

Bruce: Your mental health is super important. If you think you should see the on-campus therapist, go see them. Friend: Fine. I’ll sign up for therapy if you sign up for therapy too. Bruce: Hold on-

Finds a loophole in his housing contract that allows him to get a pet frog, calls him kermit :)

Gets a second frog because Kermit was lonely, names it Constantine after Muppets Most Wanted, then realizes that they’re gay for each other. Wonders if the rainbow-colored rocks he got them triggered anything

Swings dramatically between calling Alfred every single day and ghosting him for weeks, cries when he realizes what he did

“Accidentally” joins the student body council, doesn’t know what he’s doing, gets re-elected anyway

Molds a dragon out of Laffy Taffy instead of doing his work

Bruce: *joins Honors, gets all A’s, takes the max amount of classes, has several minors, overachieves* Also Bruce: I’m a failure.

Breaks into a building after hours to study because NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AT THE LIBRARY

Bruce: I will not get seasonal depression this year. Bruce: *gets real and seasonal depression that year*

Meticulously schedules his day with a color-coded planner because if he sits down for too long, the thoughts will consume him

Gives a presentation to his rhetoric class on how much he likes Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (it is 20 minutes long)

Successfully allocates funding from the student body council to pay for free feminine products in the dorms OUT OF SPITE because someone said it couldn't be done. fuck you, Andrew

Bruce: It is not an all-nighter if I go to sleep before my first class. Friend: It is 7:30am, the sun is in the sky, and your first class is at 12:30. Bruce: But I am getting sleep.

Refuses to go anywhere without his backpack because what if he needs three notebooks at once

Loses over 20 pounds because ✨stress✨ and scares the shit out of Alfred when he comes home for Thanksgiving

Argues with his TA over the one (1) question he got wrong on his Dinosaur exam

Bruce, calling Alfred: Hello father figure. How do I do taxes? Do I have to do them myself? Also, I think I’m having a panic attack.

Joins in on a charity arts-and-crafts project that gives kids books with matching activities made by volunteers, proceeds to commandeer the project because “it’s not color-blind friendly” and rewrites the instructions for everyone

Makes a murder wall

Goes to one (1) sports game and proceeds to leave in the first ten minutes because it’s way too loud wtf is wrong with people

Professor, addressing the lecture hall: I dare you to write an essay about these two sentences. Bruce: *writes an essay about six words, gets a 100, never even read the book*

Crawls into the ceiling for some alone time

Ghosts someone after a date because he’s too scared to tell them he didn’t know it was a date in the first place and now he feels bad

Classmate: How tf does he walk across campus that fast? I go in the same direction he does on my bike, and he’s always ahead of me. Bruce: *is gay sprinting to Dinosaur class*

Refuses to let others use his Favorite Pen TM

Constantly gets mistaken for a Grad Student because he is “so wise and mature” (bestie, that’s the autism)

Alfred: *casually mentions he got into a car accident through text* Bruce: *replies with a meme while hyperventilating because he doesn’t know what to do with that information??!*

Wears a suit to one of his finals

Regularly eats non-organic food for the first time in his life, proceeds to learn about several allergies Alfred forgot to mention he has

Writes “What is a Hot Pocket?” in calligraphy and proceeds to laugh his ass off alone in his dorm because he is so exhausted he’s reached the point of delusion

Locks himself out of his dorm right before class, frantically asks the floor group chat if someone can help, proceeds to tell the nice gay man on the floor who saved him “I love you” because his social skills have hit rock bottom

Makes a little music album display next to his desk for his favorite band (Nirvana) His friends call it a shrine, and they are technically correct

Has a blacklist of people he refuses to interact with because Reasons

Counselor: What do you want to do when you graduate? Bruce: *gestures vaguely*

Refuses to take the bus because there are people in there and he doesn’t like those

Loses one of his frogs, how tf did he do that, they’re fully aquatic, oh fuck, this is probably why they got rid of that loophole a year later because unbeknownst to Bruce, he accidentally started a frog revolution in the dorms, btw he SWEARS he did not mean to do that

Has two trash cans in his room: one for the Good Garbage, and one for the Bad Garbage. Only Bruce knows which is which

Bruce: *writes a creative piece about a ship’s final thoughts as it sinks, bringing its passengers down with it* TA: Absolutely lovely, Bruce, but are you okay?

Goes on Night Walks, keeps himself safe by maintaining a level 12 resting bitch face at all times

Earns the nickname “8th floor cryptid” after pacing the halls at 3am when it’s too cold for Night Walks (honestly tho how tf didn’t he get the nickname earlier?)

Bruce: Do you think a depressed person could do this? Bruce: *has a manic episode*

Okay that's all love you BYE

[liyatime]

“ spread your legs ” . . | ˙✧˖°📷 ༘ ⋆｡˚ (enjoy!)

📷 pairing ; mark lee x tm!reader

📷 genre ; smut

📷 cw ; male x transmale/cuntboy intercourse , cursing , kissing , cunnilingus , fingering , c in v sex , vaginal descriptions , raw sex (wrap it before you tap it!)

mark lee , one of the smartest kids on your college campus not only happened to be a top student but he was also your boyfriend of a strong 3 years.

he spoils you so much you dont even know it like buying your lunches for you , paying for your dorm rent , and all around spending a ton of money on you. mark also spoils you by taking you on car rides , he drives you multiple places without asking for gas money and often takes you on trips , like today. he called you out to the parking lot during a fairly busy day saying that he wanted to eat out with you.

you walked out the college building with your tote bag on your shoulder that was filled to the brim with books and your laptop. you were on your phone looking for places nearby to eat at when you looked up and saw mark’s navy blue hooded convertible and him waving at you.

you did a light jog towards his car and leaned onto it giving him a peck on the lips. “i didn’t bother you? calling you out of class like this?” he asked unlocking the car. you walked around to the passenger side and got in , “not at all , i’d tell you if it was a problem. honestly i’m kinda glad i got out of there.” you said smiling. he smiled back and started up the car , “i found a place already, it’s not far from here.” mark said , backing up his car and getting on the road.

on the way to the place mark picked out you guys joked around and laughed , talked about school stuff (which was honestly kind of boring) and listened to music. both your music tastes were diverse but you guys enjoyed critiquing each others choices. you guys also looked at the menu of the place and decided ahead of time what you guys should order , most of the options looked delicious but what matters is how it tasted , mark's the only person who's been here before so he told you to wait and that it'd be a surprise.

the both of you soon arrived at a restaurant-type establishment , with the awkward name of it that you couldn't pronounce it must've been french or italian or something.. but before you could step out of the car mark grabbed your hand and locked the doors , "hold on.. i gotta tell you something," he paused and put his fist over his mouth before trying to explain "— i actually brought you here for something else." he said with nervousness in his voice , "you know we haven't been able to like.. do it because were busy , so i brought you to this uh.. place , because if we did it on the college campus a lot of people would find out and i really wanted to try car sex and i didnt know how to tell you and like—" "mark. it's fine , you could've just told me." you said laughing, "you're such a nervous wreck when it comes to sex like we haven't done it before , but in a car? im excited." you said.

"so this is okay? You're right though , i should've just told you.." mark facepalmed. "I told you its fine mark , if anything you made me really horny , having sex in a parking lot feels exciting." he blushed at your words. "really?" "yeah!" you replied "we should.. get in the backseat then right?" he asked. "yeah.." you two were awkward about this , but mostly mark because he thought you'd think he was weird and gross for wanting to have sex in public and tell everyone on campus , so now that you admitted it made you horny he got excited and was ready to fuck you so bad. mark and you lowered the front seats forward so you'd have more room in the back and then hopped in , immediately jumping to making out.

mark ran his hands all over your body , but he was OBSESSED with your waist , he loved holding it especially when he felt jealous or possessive. you smiled as you kissed him. you both slowly moved into a laying position as he unbuckled your belt and unbuttoned your jeans to gain access to your pussy through your boxers. he threw your jeans on the center console along with your belt and and began rubbing your clit through your boxers , feeling how wet you've gotten in the past minute. you moaned and held onto the door behind you , "fuckkk..." you stretched out the word at the feeling of him toying with you , slightly lifting your hips. he soon removed your boxers and looked at the color of your pussy , admiring how it looked when it was soaked in your juices. he placed his hands at the back of your knees and pressed your legs to your chest then licked a stripe up your cunt and placed a wet kiss onto your clit.

you cried out in pleasure. whenever mark ate you out it was amazing , you're the first partner he's ever had with a vagina but he knew exactly what to do. he must've been studying up for your sake. top student on campus , top student at eating pussy. "is this good?" he said , rubbing his thumb up and down your folds. "yeah.. keep going.." you responded out of breath from moaning. mark reached over to his glove box in the front and pulled out a packet of lube , ripping it open with his teeth and spreading it all over your cunt and his fingers. "take a deep breath (m/n).." he said , sliding his middle finger into you slowly and thrusting it in and out. you threw your head back and gripped the door handle , moaning out your boyfriends name and whimpering. "it's alright baby , i got you." he said , leaning over and giving a tender kiss in which you melted into.

mark inserted a second finger into your sopping cunt , "you're so fucking wet.." he said before dipping down and having a make out session with your clit , running his tongue over it and flicking it with his tongue. "mark im gonna cum.." you said biting your lip and putting your hand in his hair. this only made him suck on your clit harder and faster. you couldn't take the pleasure anymore and came so hard , a clear liquid shot out your pussy and onto mark's face and seats. he slid his two fingers side to side on your cunt as you let loose and immediately went back to eating you out. you were so sensitive and he was so hungry.

mark lifted his head back up and started unbuckling his belt and discarding it , taking the rest of the lube in the packet and spreading it all over his cock. he looked at you like he was a fox and you were the rabbit he couldn't wait to devour , his cheeks were red and he was sweating from his forehead. he slid his cock over your clit and between your folds and gave you a hard kiss , rubbing his tongue against yours and pulling on your bottom lip with his teeth. "mark.." you said , reaching your hand forward and rubbing his cock again your entrance. he smirked and took his cock , slowly sliding it into your entrance. your eyes rolled back but before you could let out a moan he took it out teasingly. you honestly werent having it. "put it in..!" you said , rubbing your clit and looking into his eyes. he laughed and inserted his tip back into your cunt , doing this a couple more times until he snapped his hips against yours and started thrusting into you at a fast pace.

mark replaced your fingers rubbing your clit with his thumb as you moaned his name and let out a whimper each time his hips met yours. the only noises in the car were grunting and the sound of skin slapping against skin. "fuckkk (m/n).." he groaned. he watched as your eyes rolled back into your head and you lifted your hips up so his thrusts were angled directly towards your prostate , your head fell onto the car seat and you gripped his arms. "im gonna fucking cum!" you exclaimed. "fuckin' squirt again for me.." mark commanded , after he said that you immediately squirted all over his dick as he pulled out and rubbed your clit. he then put his cock back into your pussy to help you ride out your high. "s..shit.." he stuttered , pulling his dick out and cumming all over your glistening cunt with his mouth wide open. mark was panting and so you , you were both wet and sweaty making the car smell like sex. he'll definitely need to air out the car and buy air fresheners for future purposes.

mark leaned down and made out with you , tracing the sides of your face with his palm and holding you by your waist. "we need to have car sex more often.." he said smiling. you giggled at his joke and held him close , eventually having to let go. "we should go to our dorm and get new clothes.. they're really wet.." you said. "Lets go." he agreed , giving you one last peck on your cheek before putting his soaked clothes back on just for the ride back.

lets hope nobody questions why he smells like that when he walks through the halls.

c/n: HI IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK LONGER THAN I SAID TO PUT OUT! my job has me busy and im still buying furniture for my home , im going for a modern look so i gotta save up and work hard to get what i want!! i noticed i improved in my writing, especially when writing smut because i used to skip the prep parts and it was so bad 😭 . im a virgin so writing smut is a struggle but im always on tumblr so reading others smut fics and studying up on anatomy and how sex like WORKS was a big help to me. i still suck at dialogue but practice makes almost perfect! i hope you guys enjoy this work more than my others, cuz they really suck lol. 💙

[1dcommunityficrecs]

Girl Direction!

List number two is here! And y'all really showed up, we have 35 amazing fics ranging from barely 1,000 word quick stories to 100,000 word epics all celebrating GIRLS. We've also got a few rarepairs included, which I'm excited to check out!

Please enjoy, share, kudos, comment -- and get ready for the next theme!

Man Made Beauty by jaerie (4788, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) Warnings: M/F

Famous Louis meets non- famous tgirl Harry (again)

Reccer says:

that good girl faith (and a tight little skirt) by ariadne_odair (43734, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Harry and Louis are camp counsellors. They hate each other. The amount of sex they have in the camp showers probably contradicts that.

Reccer says: This story is everything you want from Girl Direction, including impeccable Summer vibes, hot lesbian sex and cute side Ziam.

Bluer than velvet were her eyes (softer than satin were her thighs) by thebreadvan (12333, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Tailor!Harry should probably stop obsessing over her customer’s boobs, but fate can’t keep her away from plus-size model!Louis

Reccer says: Boobs Are Awesome (TM) or, I am love with this fic and the way Harry is just so lesbian over Louis. Harry is a gay mess and Louis is irresistible. I love how the tension was written and explained, also Harry and Louis' dynamic.

You got me in the back of your car like a star (is it wrong?) by thebreadvan (2165, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Harry and Louis go on a road trip, their car breaks down and it's too hot to keep their clothes on.

Reccer says: 80s vibes

She keeps her lips red (to seem like cherries in the spring) by thebreadvan (35299, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

The Office AU, where Harry is engaged and Louis is pining.

Reccer says: Cute baby gay Harry? Love. Pining Louis? LOVE.

She spreads her lovin' all over (and when she gets home, there's none left for me) by thebreadvan (5361, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Watersports

For Harry and Louis, moving in together wasn't easy. (Part II of The Office series)

Reccer says: Domestic Larry getting into a fight that ultimately ends in hot (messy) sex

The Changer and the Changed by Homosociallyyours (59496, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

1970s coming out / self-discovery featuring poet Louis, new girl Harry, folksinger Zayn and her girlfriend Liam, and women’s bookstore owner Niall. Harry is a closeted lesbian who moves to New York after graduation. She meets Louis, a proud lesbian who works in a popular women’s bookstore. They click instantly.

Reccer says: I’ve never read a more beautiful girl direction story. Completely atmospheric and SUCH wonderful, layered characters - including all of OT5! The setting is so thoughtful and their relationship is so mature. This fic feels both like a historical nonfiction and something absolutely timeless. The author really digs into the queer struggle of the 1970s, and in doing so highlights how much things haven't really changed.

Pink Like the Paradise Found by Disgruntledkittenface (18477, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Midwest US girl direction coming out! Harry goes to her first gay bar and meets bartender Louis. It's the first time she really feels like she's a bonafide lesbian.

Reccer says: I love the honest communication, the awkward flirting, and excellent smut! A very relatable story for me.

Tell Me This Is Paradise by QuickedWeen (19855, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Exhibitionism in later chapters

Harry has never had an orgasm. Niall decides that this needs to be rectified, and her method of choice is Louis. Turns out, Louis is very very good at giving Harry orgasms.

Reccer says: Incredibly hot, incredibly honest, incredibly sweet, and HOO BOY I might be a slut for exhibitionism. I also love the way we get to follow their relationship through the chapters.

I Said It Wrong, But I Meant It Right by lululawrence (4381, Not Rated, Nick Grimshaw/Liam Payne) - fic post

From AO3/author: "Nick was a bit of a disaster, but she was used to it. Or so she thought. She had never known how much she could struggle just to function until the new fire lady goddess angel person winked at her."

Reccer says: Unique rarepair fic with a fun and interesting dynamic that adds depth to not only Girl Direction as a trope, but also to 1D fics in general!

Little pink skirt by ialwaysknewyouwerepunk (2468, Not Rated, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) Warnings: Recreational drugs

The girls are at a festival. When Louis tries to light a spliff, the wind makes it impossible to do so, for which Harry has an idea.

Reccer says: The author! Kidding (am i?) but it was so hot. I was caught in by the art and then well… it became a classic for me!

Blush by orphan_account (15128, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

"I've never wanted to kiss a girl but like, every time I look at your lips I just wanna... fucking kiss you all night long." Harry's eyes open wide as Louis' drop to Harry's mouth; her lips are swollen from biting them all night, red and wet and plump. "Then why don't you?" Harry whispers. (or, the Christmas FxF Larry fic in which Louis is 99.5% sure she's straight and Harry likes to walk around shirtless and watch lesbian films)

Reccer says: very friends to lovers Christmas pic that is as fluffy as you want a Christmas fit to be, the smut is vanilla so great if you just want to relax with some pining and confused Lesbians

thank goodness love can float by cryptidstar (orphan_account) (2486, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

prompt: au where they're both sorted in Slytherin and Louis gets tired of Harry flirting with the merpeople through the glass windows of their common room and not enough with Louis. (fem!larry)

Reccer says: very cute and pure sapphic love story, I am always up for a good Harry Potter/Hogwarts AU fit

Bleeding Love by momentofclarity (27191, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Louis is an animal rights activist who throws red paint at fur coat wearing it-girl Harry Styles. Then there's a crack in the surface and something new starts bleeding through.

Reccer says: I'm always here for enemies to lovers, especially if it's written as excellent as it is in this fic.

Bittersweet, Irrepressible by fairytalefemme (5120, General, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

“Dear Sappho,” Harry pleaded, her voice unsure and her eyes squeezed tightly shut, “or Hayley Kiyoko, or anyone really. Aphrodite? You’re the goddess of love or summat, right? Um, or God, I guess, if you’re there and you happen to be a lesbian. There must be a lesbian god somewhere, right? Or at least someone who’s sympathetic to the needs of a young lesbian. Because I need some help. I need Louis Tomlinson to like me back." In which Harry's been in love with Louis all semester but can't tell the difference between platonic and romantic interactions, leading to pining and confusion and at least one date.

Reccer says: this fic is so lesbian I can't lesbian anymore

bambi legs by disgruntledkittenface (11552, Not Rated, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Harry works at her family’s fabric store sometimes and always sells the most interesting fabrics to Louis. Louis is the wannabe fashion designer who keeps buying fabric she doesn’t necessarily need just to find a way to talk to Harry.

Reccer says: it’s so hard to narrow it down because aghhhh i love everything about this fic!!! BEST characterization (including ace Harry) and perfect Zarry friendship. Squee-worthy crushing! Sweet open Harry and lovely lovely Louis! i adore the ace representation and how the characters handled it, the banter, the pet names!!! and the oblivious friends to lovers trope is *chef’s kiss*

If You See My Reflection in the Snow-Covered Hills by friendofhayley (16948, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Alcoholism

The story of One Direction if they were all queer women!

Reccer says: I like how much research was put into it and also how feminist and queer it is?

It’s Probably Because I’ve Got a Big Lesbian Crush on You by yeah_alright (6600, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Brief reference to past homophobia/bullying

OMG MEAN GIRLS AU

Reccer says: It's so funny and such a good twist on the movie - it's not exactly like it but the characters and the VIBES are perfect!

To Sleep, Perchance to Ream by yeah_alright (3988, Explicit, Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles) - fic post Warnings: Somnophilia (consensual)

Harry and Louis have a signal for when Harry wants Louis to fuck her after she's fallen asleep

Reccer says: Kinky and so hot so hot omg so so hot!!! It’s so hot and cute at the same time. I remember I was like ‘omg i want what these two have’

Among Lavender Fields by homosociallyyours (70000, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Internalized homophobia

Harry and Louis are cast in a movie by a French director and the director has them live together while they film in a beautiful, remote location

Reccer says: AN ABSOLUTE DREAM! Just beautiful, soft women falling in love! Honestly like living in a soft, soothing fantasy - absolutely flawless!

It's Been So Long by littleroverlouis (10608, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Harry and Louis are ex-wives who still have fun sexy times.

Reccer says: OLDER SUPER HOT LADIESSSSSSSS so funny and hot

Vesper by Yesisaworld/louandhazaf (2000, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Louis orders herself a vibrator but ships it to Harry's house because she doesn't want her to mom to get the delivery and ask questions. Friends to lovers. Bisexual Louis thanks to Harry LOL

Reccer says: It's so much packed in! Sweet and hot and funny - such a sucker for good friends realizing they should probably go ahead and do it!

Close Our Eyes (Pretend We're Miles Away) by haztobegood (5000, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Major Character Death

Harry and Louis' girls weekend away turned bad and now they're on the run from the law. Thelma and Louise AU

Reccer says: Incredible balance of soft and tense. Made me so so emotional!

Sea Asunder by cupcakentea (68000, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Harry's mom hires painter Louis to capture Harry well enough that she can find a husband. Portrait of a Lady on Fire AU.

Reccer says: Absolutely gorgeous writing! It somehow captures the quietness of the movie but allows the characters to shine through even more.

Must be the Season of the Witch by 4ureyesonly28/evilovesyou (14500, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Harry get a new coat at a thrift store and it brings her both Louis and magic.

Reccer says: witchy goodness! found family! Really beautiful and moving

Harriet and Louise by Blaaake (29000, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Lesbian Jane Austen novel, basically

Reccer says: Lesbian. Jane Austen. Novel.

tempted by the fruit of another by disgruntledkittenface (3000, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson/Zayn Malik) - fic post

Zayn walks in on Harry and Louis hooking up and can't look away.

Reccer says: Zourry my beloved!!! So tender and hot - like SO HOT! Such perfect using of switching POV

in my head we can love forever by beardyboyzx (1272, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Pain kink

Harry's got to stop touching herself while thinking about her roommate. Except that she can't. Or: Harry might be a bit in love with her roommate.

Reccer says: The author does an amazing job at fitting so much emotion into so few words

I know I've got this (because I've had it all along) by we_are_the_same (16351, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Body image, self-esteem issues

Louis struggles with her body image, and she's initially hesitant when her friend Liam books her a boudoir shoot. Despite her nerves, the photographer Harry teaches her to see herself in a whole new way.

Reccer says: I love the way the author describes Louis' emotion: you can feel all her insecurities as if they were your own

That Smile and That Midnight Laugh by yeah_alright/uhoh-but-yeah-alright (50000, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

80s AU - Harry and her high school boyfriend's sister become friends…and then eventually more. Popular, sweet Harry and seemingly tough/loner Louis.

Reccer says: I'm such a sucker for girls slowly realizing they're into girls specifically by realizing they *like* like each other. Sweet and funny and soft with just a tiny bit of angst. It's four parts - one for each season - it's just so lovely!

still, somehow by disgruntledkittenface (1124, Not Rated, Liam Payne/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Depression

Louis trims Liam's split ends.

Reccer says: This fic has such tender and care. It holds such a special place in my heart.

You Make Lovin' Fun by homosociallyyours (109915, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Silver fox Louis and 28 year old travel writer Harry meet on a gay cruise.

Reccer says: An all time favorite with such amazing character development for Harry! And incredible side characters keeping everything fun!

tis the damn season by YesIsAWorld (17901, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Harry returns to her small hometown over the holiday season and starts to think about the road not taken.

Reccer says: Loved the chemistry between all the characters and especially the love story between Harry and Louis

Daydream by allwaswell16 (2024, Teen, Zayn Malik/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Every Thursday, Louis nods hello to her fellow regulars at Horan’s Cafe, one of whom is the woman of her dreams.

Reccer says: So funny and charming!

Study Dates and Coffee Taste by AlwaysHazandLou (2000, General, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Prompt: college au - Harry and Louis have the same class and they have a crush on each other but they're disaster gays and one of them is great at the class and the other one sucks so they have to tutor them.

Reccer says:

[inawickedlittletown]

Don't Make A Shadow Of Yourself (BuckTommy fic) - 5/8

Summary: "A man who's pure of heart...may still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright" - Howl (F+TM)

Throughout most of his adult life, Tommy had dealt with what he was. The duality of being a man and also an animal…a beast. Werewolves weren’t born, they were made. 

Words: 3,136

Read on Ao3

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three

Chapter Four

-

Chapter Five

Tuesday, Tommy drove to Evan’s apartment. He felt nervous and excited all at once. It’d been a while since he transformed anywhere other than at his house. Back when he was still with the 118, Tommy had been a little more adventurous. He’d drive out somewhere and transform and then run into a forested area, Even on his own, he’d gone on camping trips that left him somewhere in the woods where no one could bother him and he could transform and run around and then sleep under the stars and take another run in the morning before he made his way back to civilization. It had never seemed worth it when he wound up making the trek and then really only enjoying the woods as a wolf for a few hours. He didn’t like to think about how lonely it had made him feel to be out there all on his own. 

He sent a text after parking and feeling a little antsy, got out of the car to stretch his legs. He kinda wanted to shift right there and then to shake the feeling off. It didn’t take long for Evan to appear. He carried a gym bag with him and a small tupperware container. 

“Hey,” Evan said with a grin. “Ready?” 

“Here, let me get that,” Tommy said, reaching for Evan’s bag. 

They were on the road a few minutes later. Evan immediately connected his own phone to the radio rather than let the station Tommy wasn’t listening to play whatever was considered popular at the moment. It was only after he’d pressed play that he bothered to ask if it was okay. 

“Doesn’t bother me,” Tommy said. 

“Good. I should have made us a playlist.” 

“Are you a big music guy?” 

Evan shrugged. “I guess a little. I do own a record player so if I really like an album I’ll try to get the vinyl. Haven’t really liked anything new lately.”

They talked music for a while. It seemed like Evan had a taste that ranged through genres in a way that Tommy had somehow not expected. It was cute though, especially when Evan brought up going to a concert with Bobby a couple of months after meeting him. 

“I won these tickets from a radio station,” Evan said. “I think Bobby actually went with me out of pity. But we had a good time. So maybe not.” 

Tommy told him about Bobby’s first day as Captain. About how out of place he’d seemed and yet how he’d brought a different energy to the firehouse.

“Before Bobby we were the house that Captains went to retire,” Tommy said. “Well, before that we had Captain Gerrard. He made the 118 repressive and every bit of horrible that it could be for everyone that wasn’t a white guy that agreed with him.” 

“Hen and Chim mentioned him once,” Evan said. “Didn’t sound great.” 

“He really wasn’t. I, uh, I wasn’t all that great back then either. Just kinda went along with the crowd because the last thing I wanted was anyone looking too closely at me.”

He didn’t tell Evan that it was because he was gay and a Werewolf and that it was the being gay part that he was hiding more.

“You didn’t want anyone to find out,” Evan said. 

“I really didn’t,” Tommy confirmed. 

Halfway there, Evan popped his container open and handed Tommy a cookie. “I made them with Chris and Jee yesterday.” 

“You bake?” 

Evan’s cheeks flushed pink. “Yeah…sometimes.” 

The cookie was delicious. Tommy ate another. 

When they arrived, Tommy felt his nerves return. 

“Alright?” Evan asked. 

“I, uh, haven’t done this in a while,” Tommy said. 

He turned to look at Evan. “What?” 

“Haven’t come out to run in the woods,” Tommy said. “I have a big backyard.” 

Evan smiled at him. “That couldn’t possibly be the same as this.”

“It’s not,” Tommy admitted. 

“You’re not alone. It’ll be fun,” Evan said. 

Tommy hated it a little, how reassuring that was. He could tell that Evan was excited and that there was an ease about him. He was confident about this and Tommy could be as well. When they got to a good spot where they could stash their stuff, Tommy was already feeling better about it. They hadn’t seen many people around, and it didn’t take long for Evan to drop his bag and turn to Tommy. 

“Ready?” 

Then, Evan lifted his shirt up like it was nothing, his pale skin becoming unveiled. He was lean and muscular and Tommy had seen his shirtless pictures on Instagram, but there was nothing to seeing Evan with his own eyes. To see how his movement stretched and flexed his muscle, or how smooth his skin was. 

When Evan dropped his shirt atop his bag, Tommy had to make himself look away. He busied himself with getting his own shirt off and then his shoes and socks. He tucked those away and saw that Evan was already stashing his bag, camouflaging it among the leaves at the base of a tree. Evan was down to boxer briefs that hugged his thighs and his pert ass. Tommy turned away, taking his own pants off and stuffing them in his bag. His face felt too hot and he wanted to shift quickly. 

He put his bag near Evan’s and when he turned to look for Evan again, he found the wolf staring right at Tommy, ears perked up and his tail swishing behind him. 

“Turn around, Evan,” Tommy said. 

Even as a wolf, Evan could give a reproachful look. He made a yipping noise and he turned and walked towards the nearest trees. Tommy tucked his own underwear in his bag and then he transformed on the spot. 

—

It wasn’t fair how big Tommy was. Not Tommy as a wolf — though he was a big wolf too. Tommy in general was just big. Buck hadn’t meant to get stuck watching him after his shirt came off, but he just couldn’t help it. He was just so solid, built in a way that was almost intimidating and Buck…well, he’d always admired hot people and Tommy was hot. He looked literally like one of those marble statues and Buck had always liked museums. 

His first sight of him as a Werewolf left him breathless too. For one thing, he was definitely bigger than Buck. Thicker and taller with brown fur and as expected, gorgeous blue eyes that stood out even more on the wolf than on the human. His paws were somehow white and when the wind shifted Buck was hit by his scent. It was stronger as a wolf and Buck recognized it because it was Tommy, but also because he just smelled good and Buck wanted to bury himself in it. He’d thought that it had been a cologne the day of the barbeque, but it was just Tommy. Musky and woody but minty with something that could have been some kind of citrus. 

The closer Tommy got to him, the stronger the smell was and the more that Buck just wanted to nuzzle his snout into his neck so he could get a better whiff. Restraint was hard for Buck, but he turned and walked and tried to focus on the smells of the forest. Tommy followed and there was no denying that he was a bit more cautious as he walked. 

When Buck started to walk a little faster, Tommy matched his stride and then Buck started to run. He loved to run as a wolf. There was power in his legs, and he loved the way his paws dug into the soft ground. He couldn’t imagine not existing among nature as a wolf. 

Tommy chased him and they ran for a while, Buck always a little bit ahead which he was sure was only because Tommy allowed it. He only slowed when they got to a stream, the water gurgling over rocks and branches. Buck went right in for a drink. The water was cool and refreshing. 

It was weird to drink as a wolf. It had taken Buck some time to figure out properly how he was supposed to use his tongue to catch the water. He still nearly always managed to get his whole snout wet. Tommy looked messy too, dripping water off his fur. He shook his head, throwing off water in Buck’s direction and then he ran and Buck gave chase. 

Buck followed Tommy’s scent, captivated by the way that it mingled with the trees and the leaves and the earthy wet smell of the forest. He had never smelled something so good, something that he wanted to entrench himself in. 

When Tommy finally slowed down, Buck slowed with him, brushing his side against Tommy’s. Tommy turned to him, nosing at his neck and ears. Buck sat back and Tommy sat next to him. Wind rustled the trees above them, dropping a few leaves, but nothing could tear them apart.

Eventually, they looped back the way they came. Buck tried not to scare a small red fox, but then got to watch as the fox ran as fast as it could from them when Tommy snapped a twig. 

Only once did they have to hide amongst the trees when people appeared, walking the trail. They made it back to their bags a little while later and they both turned away as they shifted back. Nudity was a part of being a Werewolf and Buck was used to it. He and Eddie didn’t even care enough with how often they shifted around each other. 

Somehow it felt different with Tommy. Tommy made him nervous for some reason that Buck couldn’t pinpoint. It made him dress just a little bit faster and once they were both fully dressed, he felt like he wanted to jump back into his wolf and run out again just so that he could keep Tommy longer. 

“That was fun,” Tommy said, breaking the silence. “I didn’t realize how much I missed it.”

Buck tugged at his shirt, fixing it. “We’ll have to do it again,” Buck said. “Hey, uh, what are you doing at the next full moon?” 

“I usually just stay home,” Tommy admitted and he looked away. “Used to go to the Division sometimes years ago but it wasn’t really my thing. So, I…I made sure I had a big backyard.” 

To Buck that sounded more than a little sad. “Eddie and I come out here sometimes. Or a different spot. One time we spent it at the beach which was…well, not the best idea. You can join us. If you, uh, if you want.” 

He tried his hardest not to show how much he wanted Tommy to say yes. He felt it desperately, like he didn’t know if the full moon would go alright if Tommy wasn’t at his side and that…that was new. 

“Oh,” Tommy said and he couldn’t hide his surprise. “I wouldn’t want to intrude.” 

“You won’t be,” Buck assured. “Eddie will be excited to have another wolf and I really…I want to spend it with you.” 

He could feel the warmth on his face, but Tommy just smiled at him and it was a different smile than Buck had gotten before. It was pleased and just a tad unsure. Buck found it endearing. 

“Can I think about it?”

“Uh…yeah, sure. Sure. Of course.” Buck tried to not be too disappointed at not getting a concrete yes. 

On the drive back, they ate the remaining cookies. They’d been out there so long that they had skipped right over lunch and Buck was starving. His eyes couldn’t help but track Tommy’s mouth as he chewed, or how he licked up crumbs and chocolate from his lips. 

“How does Bobby deal with two of you being Werewolves?” Tommy asked. 

Buck looked away and gulped. 

“Oh. He, uh, tries to schedule us both off,” Buck said. “If he can’t, then we’re usually scheduled until a few hours before sundown. It’s not easy sometimes, but we’ve managed it. I only had to transform at the station once.” 

He saw Tommy’s eyebrow shoot up. “How was that?” 

“Well, not everyone knows. So Hen let me out and then I just left. She left me clothes out in the back for when I got back in the morning.” 

“Wow,” Tommy said. 

Buck chuckled. “I know, it’s a bit crazy. I was always waiting for the day when I lost track of time on a call and I had to just transform there and then. How, uh, how is it for you?” 

“They all think I’m superstitious about full moons,” Tommy said. 

“Really?” Buck said through a grin. “No one suspects a thing?” 

“Why would they? To the normal person, we don’t exist, Evan.”

He loved the way his name sounded coming from Tommy. It was why he didn’t think he would ever correct him on how most people called him Buck. Usually, he hated it whenever anyone used his first name — had hated it ever since he became Buck when there were three Evans in his class at the fire academy. He hadn’t known how much was attached to his name until he had a new name. Tommy just…he said it with care, like his name was important. 

“I know. Uh, you ever wonder about what else is out there?” Buck asked. 

“Like what, Vampires?” Tommy asked and since they were at a light, he turned to look at Buck with a perplexed expression. 

“Yeah. I guess. I mean, it’s not implausible is it?” 

Tommy sighed. “I guess not. Next thing you’ll tell me is you think unicorns are real.” 

“Hey,” Buck said, “you don’t know they aren’t. What if they went extinct.” 

He loved the way that Tommy laughed, how it crinkled the corners of his eyes. 

“Never change, Evan.” 

—

Tommy didn’t really go around smelling people. At least, not when he could help it. Sometimes colognes or perfumes were just that strong or worse it was bad hygiene and bad BO that could hit a Werewolf nose — even in human form — like a punch. He hadn’t known that Evan would smell so good. At first, he thought it was something else, but it was Evan. He smelled like something sweet, which, of course he did. His scent was warm, it was also earthy and Tommy thought lavender was mixed in too. It wasn’t until they were running and the wind was catching Evan’s fur that Tommy knew why he found it familiar. He smelled like tea. More precisely, earl gray. Bergamot. Evan smelled like Bergamot. 

Tommy had forgotten what it felt like to run with another wolf. How it felt to chase and be chased or how wonderful it was to lean against Evan and have his scent surround him. 

Afterwards, when they were back in his car, it was like he couldn’t stop smelling him. Really, it was that he didn’t want to stop. He knew he had never reacted to anyone like this. He’d never been something like obsessed with anyone’s scent before. Scent drunk, some Werewolves called it. 

By the time they were back at Evan’s apartment, Tommy didn’t want to leave him. Evan didn’t get out of the car. He lingered and then turned to Tommy almost nervously. 

“Are you hungry?” 

“We skipped lunch,” Tommy pointed out. 

“Pizza?” Evan asked and the way he tilted his head, smile on his lips was so puppy-like. This man was far too precious. 

“Sure,” Tommy said. 

Evan shot him an even bigger smile, as if he had thought that Tommy would turn him down. Instead, he followed him up to his apartment. He was impressed. It had a nice loft space and then the rest of it was open concept. Everything was neat and tidy. As nice as it was, he couldn’t imagine that it was ever a space where Evan could shift forms. 

“Uh, if you want to clean up a little the bathroom is through there,” Evan pointed at the half open door. 

“Thanks.” 

He wasn’t too messy. It wasn’t like they had rolled around in the mud or anything. Still, he splashed water on his face and ran his wet fingers through his hair. When he rejoined Evan, he found him in the kitchen with a paper menu for a nearby pizza place and two beer bottles. He handed Tommy both the menu and a beer. 

“I liked your wolf,” Evan said a while later, when they’d settled at Evan’s table. 

“Yeah?” 

He was blushing for some reason that Tommy couldn’t determine. At times, Tommy did think that Evan was trying his hand at flirting with him. He stared at Tommy enough. Still, he couldn’t be sure and he liked Evan too much to risk it and risk the friendship they were forming. If he was reading things wrong or if anything went badly, he didn’t think he’d be okay with losing Evan. 

Evan called their order in. 

“Twenty minutes,” Evan said. “I’m glad we can agree on something. Eddie is crazy and likes pineapple on pizza.” 

“That’s a choice,” Tommy said.

“It’s horrible is what it is,” Evan said with a shake of his head. 

Tommy took a few sips of his beer and smiled against the lip of the bottle. Evan took a sip of his own and then motioned for him to follow him further into the apartment towards the living room. 

“Uh, we could watch something? If you want?” Evan offered. 

Tommy would have done anything with him and to ease the awkward way that Evan reached for his remote, he grabbed it out of Evan’s hand. Evan gasped. 

“What is your favorite movie?” Tommy asked. 

He walked around Evan to sit on the couch. It felt firm but comfortable. Evan eased into sitting at his side. 

“Evan? Favorite movie?” 

“I really liked Star Wars,” Evan said, but he said it like a question. “What, uh, what’s yours?” 

“Love Actually,” Tommy said. 

“Never seen that,” Evan said. “Uh, I haven’t seen a lot of things. But we could watch that if you want? I mean, if it’s your favorite you like it so…”

Tommy let out a breath. This hadn’t been his aim in asking and yet, he didn’t hate the idea of sharing a movie he loved with him. 

“Okay,” Tommy said. “Just, uh, be aware we won’t be able to be friends if you don’t like this movie.” 

“Oh, that’s how it is?” Evan asked, settled further into the couch and brought himself closer to Tommy. 

Tommy busied himself figuring out Evan’s tv without any input from the man, but when he finally looked towards him he found a fond little smile and something like wonder in Evan’s eyes. 

[ruffboijuliaburnsides]

So playing our Vampire the Masquerade game tonight. It's my baby vamp Tallulah's first real outing. She's like 23, a classical pianist, was a Good Girl (tm) before the whole vampire thing. She is in no way prepared for the breaking and entering they're about to do. She's out with 2 other vamps. One, Frankie, is essentially Vampire Vico Ortiz. The other, Ruby, has pink hair and a fuck off attitude. And as Tallulah is more anxious than either of them, they're already a little protective of her, and she's small and somewhat frail-looking.

They break into the fenced-off area outside this building before realizing that there is a car parked outside that has people in it, who probably saw them pick the lock. Tallulah is panicking a little. They decide to just try to casually walk back to the cars and leave.

Two guys get out of the car with melee weapons. Approach them. And say something along the lines of "We're gonna show you what we think of freaks like you."

And Tallulah, without even thinking about it, blurts out, "Oh my god are you gonna gay bash us???"

She succeeds her subterfuge roll, helped by the fact she's currently being protectively flanked by a couple of very queer-appearing individuals. One of the guys panics and says no, they absolutely weren't, his sister's gay.

Tallulah & Co. successfully manage to escape because these guys didn't want to be mistaken for homophobes.

[divorcingjimmatthews]

time to inflict my jade and khatri AU headcanons on yall. jhatri AU masterpost

i hadn't thought about khatri in a while and that lovely ask brought back all the khatri thoughts please bear 🐻 with me

khatri is so repressed gay priest coded to me that i actually forget that's not a canon plot point most of the time

to me he's constantly having sexual thoughts about boyd that he is sooo deeply ashamed of, mostly because he believes that boyd is straight and would change the way he sees him if he knew

in any case with the dead wife situation boyd's got going on it's definitely just easier to push any lustful thoughts aside. until jade shows up :)

yall khatri was soo sweet and caring with jade!! and his reaction when jade flirted with him while high? kristi rolled her eyes, boyd slapped him away, but khatri had a fucking experience there, you cannot change my mind

pictured above: what could have been the start of a beautiful relationship if the writers were not so concerned with superflous things like "story" and "plot"

it might have been the first time in his life that another guy openly called him beautiful or looked at him like that. or it might also have reminded him of a boyfriend he had or almost had in his youth. take your pick. both work

also, we cannot ignore that jade is a really attractive guy and that he's literally handcuffed in this scene. it's such a peak meet cute come on look at them. look at their hands

now, i can see khatri going to check up on jade the next morning or a few days later. jade is completely alone after all so i feel like khatri would tell him that he can stop by the church if he wants. jade would just laugh it off and then be like oh you're actually being serious?

but he would go. not for his own sake but because tobey was catholic or something and he was kind of losing his mind when they buried him so he didn't get to give a proper goodbye. khatri does a little funeral service just for him and jade is a mess afterwards

they would sit and talk and khatri would ask him if tobey was his partner and jade would feel safe enough with khatri to explain the complexities of their situationship. khatri would share some of his own memories about loving other men in return

khatri is basically resigned to eternal unhappiness tm but jade is clingy and needy and entitled so he would find excuses to see khatri all the time. i stand by my belief that khatri couldve fixed jade. imo most of jade's bratty attitude comes from being defensive against what he percieves as threats but with khatri i think he would just feel safe to be himself

jade would obviously have a big problem with khatri being resigned to unhappiness tm and i think he would just rope him into projects like he did with jim and tabitha

they would have a lot of discussions about religion where jade would be a total prick but khatri would humor him because jade clearly needs the venting session and because khatri can really use a lighthearted break from his internal monologue of guilt and shame. symbiosis

obviously people would talk because it would make no damn sense. why is a priest going around collecting car engine parts

and indeed a big part of why they're spending time together at all is because they enjoy each other's company. just like with boyd the situation doesn't really work in their favor because jade is not really thinking about anything besides finding a way out of the town

one day some people are looking at them a little weird and jade knows that look so he gets really worked up and yells something like "yeah i'm fucking your priest if that's what you wanna know, can you move along now?"

as soon as he turns back to khatri he realises that he really fucked up, though. once they're alone in private jade apologises and admits that he said that because he kind of wishes he was fucking the priest but "listen, that's not the point, the point is that i'm really sorry, i shouldn't have said that, and i shouldn't have said that here, and... fuck"

"i'm just sorry, alright?" before leaving the church while feeling terrible for having fucked up that bad. sadly i think they... wouldn't really get to fix it? since jade would be getting sucked deeper into the whole visions situation around this time and khatri has the whole deal with sara going on

which is another reason why khatri would shut jade away. maybe jade would go try to fix things and ask to come in and khatri would have to tell him no. because he literally has his best friend's murderer locked up in the basement LMAO

if someone else wants to add to this or sees a way in which it could work please do add to this i am literally so starved and i have so many cute headcanons for them if they were together but i cant see khatri going for it so i just suffer

[darkkbluee]

What are your lawlight headcanons?

Oh, an ask? In my inbox? It took a while to realize there really was something in the inbox and it wasn't a bot this time. Anon, this is my first real ask, I'm so touched <3

To the topic! Lawlight headcanons! I have so many, I don't even know where to start. Some of them are AU genre specific, some are based on which arc/timeperiod it is. So many thoughts, how to summarize...

Warning: Below is a long ramble of a few headcanons and why I think that way. They're headcanons, and don't need canon or authorial proof to exist, thanks. Some of them might be AUs too, oops.

For AUs set in the early 2000s, where Light is first arc age. L realizes he's in love first. Not because L's older. Because of the circumstances Light grew up in.

Light is the eldest (and only) son of his family. He had his life figured out since childhood and never doubted he would do anything other than follow that path: Become a detective, chief, and eventually director. Get a girlfriend, buy a car and a house, marry said steady girlfriend, have two kids, the whole traditional family thing. You can even see hints of that in second arc.

When I first read the manga, I could see it in manga!Light. It seemed that way to me because it is sort of a common cultural thing between some Asian countries. Not anime!Light though, which is interesting, but not the point here.

So, Light does not realize he's in love, because he's never had the question of whether he's gay, because he never thought the reason he can't keep his eyes off L is because he's attracted to L, because 'attraction to L' is a non-existent concept in his consciousness.

Light is not dense, nor homophobic or anything. He recognizes when other men are attracted to him, he accepts that people can love whoever they want. He just never superimposes that image on himself.

It takes a whole long while for his brain to cook enough, to separate himself from the image he has in his mind. Then, he questions his sexuality and realizes he is, indeed, attracted to men as well. Or rather, one specific man. He has no sexual and romantic interest in anyone else and by that age, Light has experimented enough to know that.

Between Older Light and L, Light would be the first one to figure it out. But between 18 - 21 year old Light and L, it would L.

2. L is very specific about textures. His favorite, the one he discovers when he meets Light, is Light. Light takes very good care of himself, his face and body being as much a resource he uses as his brains.

Cue touchy L. L likes to run his fingers through Light's hair, he likes it when he can touch Light skin-to-skin, likes it when Light touches him back with his fingers.

As much as L likes watching Light (because L will freely admit he is a shallow creature and Light is very attractive to watch indeed), L loves touching Light more. He may or may not miss body language cues if he's too close to observe the full picture, but the trade off is worth it to L.

3. Light's long list of ex-girlfriends and admirers has stumped L many times. Especially when Light admits they all knew about the others. And that they don't begrudge Light for not committing 100%. And that they still happily help Light with whatever he wants them for even decades later.

Sometimes, it makes L wonder if he is just another victim of Light Yagami's charisma. Then he discards that thought because it doesn't matter. He has Light and Light is just as obsessed with him right back. L is the eventual winner and it doesn't matter who caught whom when they're both in it together.

4. They're both highly competitive. It translates over to board games as well. It's a Rule TM, posted on the fridge, notarized, signed and stamped by their friends and family, that they are never allowed to play Monopoly. And Uno. And Catan. And- [an increasing list of trade focused games].

Addendum - Twister should only be played in personal space, behind closed locked doors! — Sayu and Mello

Addendum 2 - Light is forbidden to play Jenga with Near. — L

That's all for now! If I continue, I'll never stop XD

Thanks for the ask, Anon!

[dtkqer]

wait why ranboo (idk much abt him)

ESSAY WARNING AHEAD do not fucking repost this shit anywhere holy fuck i will kill you!!!!!!! respect my boundaries :((

ok my thought process was somewhere along the lines of

rboo (kid wanting to blow up as a mcyter during summer 2020) getting attention through making fan content of dream smp (also trying to write themself into the lore) -> dream (kid who blew up as an mcyter before the pandemic hit, getting even more insane numbers) sees himself in rboo, adds him to the dream smp

-> path 1: parasocial stan delusion - ran is both viewer and cc, relatable to viewers in a down to earth way while gaining an insane amount of success very very fast -> heightened scrutiny to not fuck things up because his audience is full of normal people who care about social justice on paper (part of dreams influence in having a gender and race diverse (somewhat) audience) -> growing importance of boundaries (tm) -> fandom becomes insanely blue haired liberal and jumps on every mistake, demanding quick and GOOD apologies for both inane and serious shit -> fandom becomes volatile and creates disproportionate responses to everything -> they (rboo) become spineless -> this attitude and spinelessness leaks over to the whole of mcyt since most of dsmp shared an audience at that point -> feedback loop we see today (sidebar: growing media illiteracy combined with volatile reactions extend to lore shit on all ends and was absolutely compounded by their joining -> "sanctity" of the lore -> michael -> dsmp audiences split over the parasocial belief that character = content creator's thoughts beliefs and actions in real life instead of. acting)

-> path 2: control and queerness - branch off from blue haired liberal -> viewers have good intentions in wanting more rep in the cc space (queer and women, not so much race) -> marginalized communities cant afford to make mistakes as much as white men in the space -> disproportionate amount of criticism for both white men and marginalized ccs -> viewers attempting to take control of ccs due to ran blurring the line between viewer and cc during lockdown/most viewers' formative social years being taken from them -> not much education about queerness in the first place -> queerbaiting discourse and queer being a symbol of goodness -> people seemed to want dream to be straight and evil and ran to be gay/queer and good -> double standards when dream and ran come out because of dream's perceived power, status, and past growing up in conservative florida he had already been addressing, but ran gets a warm welcome because of bending to the audience more than dream has and past not holding as many mistakes meaning they could claim queer as an identity -> selective biphobia because if dream is queer hes a bad queer so everything he does is evil

-> return to main thread - brighton bastards formed, beeduo date and break up, everyone becomes bitter boots after lockdown ends and dream abandons his adopted bastard child he came to love that george originally gave birth to -> october and drexodus -> quackity resentment somewhere in there behind the scenes, dtkq breakup -> former audience split over lore comes back into -> qsmp shit -> dream and by extension dteam/munchy is evil except badboyhalo who supports dream but is still on qsmp because hes a lore andy -> schisms from the past continue to grow, new schism of q's side vs dream's side appears (secret third challenger of brighton floptopia) -> people air out their dirty laundry and snide comments -> november and december -> relative peace -> march-> karl gets hit by a car -> present day -> dnf sextape

i may be wrong for quite a bit of this but this is how i saw it . again this is a tumblr exclusive if you repost this anywhere even iwth my url cropped i will fucking kill you.

[shitpostmontgomery]

Ancestral Tips for Obstructing Fascists

The progressive backlash to "It's always correct to punch a Nazi" watered down the fact that it is, actually, always correct to punch a Nazi. Now Nazis are emboldened and think that they're Winning(tm). We didn't punch hard enough in 2016 and now it's going to actively be dangerous to do so, thanks to the Fascists supporting the police in a bi-directional agreement.

So, here are some tips I got from my Grandpa on how to Gleefully Obstruct Fascists (GOF), Tips from a WW2 Vet (who was raised by a WW1 vet, and whose son fought in Cambodia to take down the Khmer Rouge. We got a lot of military history in this family but let's focus on the important stuff).

Take Care of Your Safety Remember how a lot of Trump voters smiled to your face, agreed with you, promised to vote for Democrats, and then straight-up lied because they privately voted how they wanted? Yeah, you need to stop being naive and try it yourself. Especially when your safety is at risk. If you're Queer, Pagan, Gay, Progressive, at work No You're Not. Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir, the most helpful little idiot you can possibly be. There is a time and a place to feel safe but the public isn't your community, and being 'Out' doesn't mean being public. Public isn't safe anymore. It isn't safe anymore.

Don't Sell Out Your Comrades Just because you're pretending to go along with it, doesn't mean you get lazy and actually just go along with it. My ancestors who went behind enemy lines risked their lives, they didn't magically become Nazis and genociders while they were there. They kept helping while they were behind the lines; they supported their comrades, looked the other way instead of reporting to the 'authorities', and Obstructed.

Fascists are Sloppy, Even When They Look Slick Take a look at your local fascists. Do they know their history? Their Geography? Their Science? How things work under the hood? Of course not. You do. So when they ask you to grease the machine? Apply glue. 'Accidentally' lose paperwork that will get people deported. "Sorry sir, I didn't see it happen" when they try to get you to be a witness to something that shouldn't be a crime. "They were right here the whole time", and "They're with me, officer". Vote in the local elections, the council elections, the state elections, the senate elections. Attend everything, record everything, download and print everything that's important to you.

This is a Great Time to Be Autistic (Unless they go full Eugenicist, in which case you may have to mask for your safety. See point #1). For those who can't successfully GOF while behind enemy lines, be annoying. Lean fully into your desire to nitpick. Ask for specifics, and documentation, every time. Ask for the names of people approving things. Get the transcripts. Insist on full due process, and act offended if the fascists try to waive the process. If they want to change the process, insist on following the process required to change the process. Grind activities to a halt with consultation meetings, amendment meetings, board meetings, review meetings, 'just one more thing before we go', and inviting every man and his dog to those damn meetings so 'everyone has a say! :)'. You ALL know how infuriating it is when managers engage in groupthink and nothing actually gets done, so you know how to weaponise it. And if the approval meeting fails by even one vote, one error, one technicality, let it fall. Due process is due process. If they want to ruin your life make them goddamned work for it. Many of them won't.

Make it Expensive Inconvenience is also financial. They'll gut your healthcare, skyrocket your food and your rent, and generally make it hard to live, so feel free to return the favour. If you're a mechanic, it's your duty to only fix one thing at a time when their car is in the shop. If you're a grocery store worker, now is a great time to get their orders wrong. Misplace their chocolate bars, substitute their bread for tortillas every time. No shampoo, just bars of soap. If you know who your local Fascists are, you know who isn't getting the family and friends discount. Who doesn't get the extra portion of chips for free. Who no longer get your casseroles, who get charged to have a plumber visit their house but 'can't find the blockage', and whose electricians suddenly realize that a LOT of wiring needs to be replaced for safety reasons. Pull the fire alarm for the oil and gas company buildings, just casually. Waste their money, waste their time. If Fascists want community they should have earned it. We live in a society, and society is pissed.

Plan Your Workarounds Fascists like to screw everyone over, so you will be inconvenienced as well. Stock up on Plan B, medications, and masks. Get your hand sanitizer and disinfectant cleaning materials. Clear your devices of any tracking apps like the ones for your period, your health, your sleep, and your location. Memorize the names and numbers of attorneys who will help you if you get arrested. Find the organisations mobilizing to get people access to abortions and healthcare. Print hard copies of your voter registration, your identity documents, and union affiliations. Stash some cash for the possibility of banks going down, even temporarily. Leave sites like X and Facebook, and stop engaging with family/friends who you don't trust to keep you safe. They will rat you out, they will get you arrested, and they'll laugh about it. Prepare for natural disasters to hit your home, because you can't trust the government to save you. Get your tea candles, matches, and terracotta pots for arctic blasts, and get your USB-powered condenser air conditioner units with a high-capacity powerbank (solar powered, ideally) for heatwaves. You'll want high quality masks for poor air quality, bottled water, and a plan in place to evacuate. Find the sites that allow you to monitor conditions for yourself; the state probably won't tell you until it's too late.

Boycott Every time a boycott has been applied en masse, it's worked. Did you know that the term was based on the time it happened in Ireland? How Tumblr's stocks tanked so hard Yahoo was forced to sell, and it became useable again? How Starbucks desperately started donating money to Gaza in an effort to get customers to return? How Macdonald's is scrambling to lower prices to get people to come back? How fuel prices dipped every time there was a lockdown because if nobody buys gas, the gas producers panic? Find a way to work without gas. No more financial support to big corporations that funded this nightmare. No more Coca-cola products. No more Cadbury products. Avoid Unilever, shun Nestle, BP, Santos, you name it. Stop buying fast fashion. Block Shein, Temu, and all that trash from your devices. Stop supporting the celebrities who turned their backs on you. Merchandise is tacky, and so is rewarding people for throwing you to the wolves. I know it's a lot of work. I know it'll be hard, but surviving is the most important part right now. Survive, get through it, and make the Fascists so frustrated and demoralized that they give up. We are more tenacious than them. We are smarter than them. We are kinder than them. We can support each other through this and if they want a crumb of the love we possess for our neighbours they'll need to start pitching the fuck in.

[qqueenofhades]

Feel like I just watched a parenthesis ao3 fic with Taylor Swift lyrics….

Look was this season's storyline mostly a mess? Yes it was. Did they fill a lot of time that they could have used more efficiently? Also yes. Did they leave us SUFFERING? DEFINITELY INDISPUTABLY YES.

But the rest of that shit was straight up angst/romance fanfic?!?!?! I mean?!?!?!

Angel Crowley/Aziraphale and Crowley before the creation

Validating the fandom headcanon that Crowley did in fact fall instantly in love in Eden, to the point he thinks that shielding someone from the rain and gazing into their eyes is the A+ number one way to get humans to fall in love

Also validating the fandom headcanon about Aziraphale finally realizing it in 1941

ALL THE MARRIED COUPLE BICKERING JESUS?!?!?!

THEY WERE INDISPUTABLY, INCREDIBLY, UNFATHOMABLY MARRIED

AZIRAPHALE JUST LIKE HONEY I AM DRIVING UP TO EDINBURGH IN YOUR OUR CAR AND CROWLEY BEING LIKE OKAY FINE BUT I AM STILL NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT

And CALLING AZIRAPHALE TO COMPLAIN THAT HE WAS MESSING WITH THE CAR WITHOUT PERMISSION

Crowley in the bookshop without his jacket AND WITHOUT HIS GLASSES (UNTIL THE LAST SCENE YOU KNOW)

Crowley rushing to Aziraphale's rescue with "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" blaring

The whole "how long have you been together/is the bookseller your side piece/do you have a husband because you're a walking gay disaster" scene with Crowley and Nina

The constant sitting at tables with candles! And roses!

EVERYONE IN THE BACKGROUND WAS QUEER??

JOB'S SASSY GAY SON! (DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT EPISODE! I AM SUFFERING!)

THE MAGICIAN AND THEIR TRANS SPOUSE

THE RANDOM GUY WITH GRINDR ON HIS PHONE

NINA AND MAGGIE OBVS

THEY REALLY SAID "YES WE SEE SANDMAN S1 WAS VERY GAY AND IT MADE SOME BIGOTS UNHAPPY, LET'S DOUBLE DOWN, JUST MAKE IT MORE GAY FOR EVERYONE"

GOD BLESS

and of course THE LAST SCENE

WITH THE BIG DRAMATIC LOVE CONFESSION AND CROWLEY'S "I WOULD LIKE TO SPEND..." LIKE THEY HAD THAT MAN WHOLEASS PROPOSING I WAS NOT READY

FOLLOWED BY THE BIG DAMN KISS (TM)

and AZIRAPHALE THINKING THEY CAN BE TOGETHER IF THEY GO BACK TO HEAVEN AS ANGELS TOGETHER WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY THE LAST THING CROWLEY WANTS

"I NEED YOU"

AND THEN OF COURSE IT ALL GOES TERRIBLY WRONG BECAUSE OF COURSE IT DOES

SECOND ACT CLIFFHANGER MY BELOVED BELOATHED

wow there are a lot of capital letters in this huh

I regret nothing

man that whole Stupid Homosexuals Cannot Communicate And Get Themselves Into a World of Self-Inflicted Hurt Because They Are So Dumb really is my catnip huh

/takes deep breaths

We're all fine here now

[imsobadatnicknames2]

I think I had already talked about this once but it's p funny how this video's comment section is full of people complaining that thanks to Political Correctness and The Woke Left(TM) you can no longer have jokes like this is Current Year because the joke flew right over their heads and they thought it was making fun of electric cars and gay people.

[nerdyvocals]

Final round of episode quotes as @look-at-those-niceass-rocks and I finished our final watch party. Once again, the cast and crew are in the house, so @saveourpinks, please enjoy. (You can find previous posts with more unhinged quotes here and here)

Honorable mention from before we actually started, them waking their husband up with: wake up, it's time for me to see gay shit

Second honorable mention, a conversation had while I struggled with my audio: Them: I tried to show [Husband] Merely Players last night but he was too tired Me: I can't believe your husband is homophobic Them: I AGREE Husband, distantly: I don't deserve this!

(about Buddy) God his shoulders, he's built like a Dorito

(this is specifically in reference to episode 8 but honestly, this was said multiple times throughout our watching) Me: WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH COMMUNISM??? Them: It's the 50s! If it ain't American, it's communist!

Me: I love that Buddy's dad's name is Dick Them: It was a choice

(In reference to Blandiels) He makes me SO uncomfortable. Like I know that that's the point but he's so slimy-NO NO STOP, STOP KISSING HER, FUCK-!

(roughly three minutes of us screaming over Lydia's Woman Scorned (tm) dress, followed by another three minutes of us laughing at the faces everyone was making when I pause the video)

(about Susan's mom) Me: Heinous fucking bitch Them: What. A raging. CUNT.

(after we both spent a Hot Minute thirsting over Cynthia dancing on the car) Them: I talk a big game but if I was within five feet of this person, I would be just staring and stammering Husband, distantly: We know honey Them: SHUT UP

(both of us wheezing over CGI!Richie)

Cops: *show up* Us: *John Mulaney voice* SCATTER

Them: NOT THE LINE I'VE LOST THE ONE I LOVE THE MOST AS SHE PICKS UP OLIVIA'S JACKET Me: They are simply In Love

Them: He's gonna do something stupid, I can feel it. Me: You don't know the half of it! Them: He's gonna propose to a teenager! (okay maybe they do know the half of it, fuckin' prophet)

Me: *reading off episode titles as it starts storming where I am* And this one is called You're Dropping Out of Rydell- thank you dramatic thunder???

(honorable mention, me being unable to tell what was real thunder and what was from the episode)

Them: I'm not emotionally ready for this Me: Me neither and I've seen it like eight times already

Nancy: *dramatic exit* Them: She's so dramatic and I respect her and only her

Me: I love you singing along to a theme song with no lyrics Them: Sometimes I just gotta make funky little noises!

(About Nicholson) I am going to break that man's ball sack with a driver.

Them: It's giving pouty little bitch Me: Which one? (referring to Buddy and his dad) Them: Yes

Cynthia: *walks in in Richie's Jacket* Me: Hello my name is Single and Gay Them: I am not single but I am gay and I think... I don't think, I have no thoughts, head empty

(About McGee, then the scene transitions to Daniels) Them: The only adult in this school I respect- I AM GOING TO KILL HIM WITH MY BARE HANDS! Me, wheezing: What about your human hands? Them: THOSE TOO

(said in the most disgusted voice I've ever heard) Of course he likes Walt Whitman

Them: [Husband], I'm killing the pedophile, wanna help? Husband: Let's be honest, do you really need my help? Them: Someone's gotta drive the car.

Them: "Feelings central?" I bet you were feeling sensual when you were making out with Olivia-LYDIA on your couch earlier Me: ...You good there? Them: The names are too close

(Face to Face begins) Ah, dramatic acapella is my gender

Me: Once again, love how much you hate Buddy Them: He's had so many chances to earn my respect and he has done nothing!

Guardian Demon: *appears* Them: What. The fuck. Is happening? Me: BEAUTY SCHOOL DROPOUT BABEY

(@ Buddy) Them: He's not a total ding-dong. Just like 80% Me: He did just thank her (Susan) for having sex with him Them: ...85%

(About the Red Sox analogy) Cynthia giving me Gender Euphoria with one sentence

Nancy: *talking about love stories, mentions Shy Guy* Both of us: *Cackling at the full-body never mind Cynthia does*

Nancy: Tell anyone of my vulnerable nature and I will deny it until the day I die! Them: FUCKING MOOD like I know I was literally also just crying but we're gonna move past that, I'm a bad bitch again

Me: Finale time! Any thought or predictions before we get started? Them: Leonard gets arrested and as he's being taken away, he gets hit by a semi truck- Me: What is this, Mean Girls??? Them: Yes! McGee punches the principal in the face and defeats him in blood combat and cements her place as principal- Me: *slowly dissolving into horrified laughter* Them: Cynthia gets to kiss Lydia again, which is all I really need to be happy, and terrifying CGI Richie comes back and does the Macarena! Me: *can't start the episode for five minutes because I'm laughing too hard*

(Ten seconds in) PAUSE THIS I HAVE BEEF THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY OF GETTING MARRIED THAT QUICKLY IN A CATHOLIC CHURCH

(after rant) Me: Yeah but the tensions wouldn't be as high if they had six months to stop the wedding! Them: ...there are two wolves inside of me, one says valid, and one is formerly Catholic and Upsetti

Me: I want a shirt that says "I have two wolves inside of me, one of them is Catholic" and nothing else Them: *WHEEZE*

Cynthia: He's just. Some guy. Both of us, in sync: HIT HIM WITH YOUR CAR

"Old Soul" is groomer for "Fuckable"

(@ Gil climbing in through the window) Me: On the one hand, I'd fold, on the other? Terrifying! Them: YES! Me: Although I guess if I had the rapport with someone that they have?? Maybe?? Like good in media, bad in real life. Them: Gil? Yes, absolutely. Edward Cullen? Fuck no! The two genres of climbing through my window

(after the drag race) YET ANOTHER THING BUDDY DID NOT EARN

Me: Hey, do you have tissues? Them (afraid): ...should I get some??? Me: Maybe Them: I don't think I have any in the house??? Me: Ah! You're fucked!

*ten minute interlude of us crying over the Coming Out Scene, discussing what it means to both of us, and how furious we are of future generations not getting to see the best queer rep of our lifetimes if this show doesn't get saved. On that note, sign the petition if you haven't already.*

THEY STARTED BY STEALING A CAR THEY WILL SAVE THE FRIENDSHIP BY STEALING A CAR

Oh someone please hit hi- YESSSSS!!!

(at the start of All In) Me: She (Cynthia) is going to cry Them: I'm going to cry Me: I'm already crying

Me: Lydia is stronger than I am I would already be on my knees. (note I use a cane and sometimes a wheelchair, if I am on my knees I Will Not be Getting Up)

Me: Hopelessly Devoted walked so this song could fucking run Them: I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THE SAME THING

Pink Ladies: *Offer Hazel a jacket* Them: *aggressively close to the mic* That sounds very gay I'm in

Them: I cannot take my eyes off Jane. Like they are all very beautiful right now but there's something about her- Me: It's the bisexual energy Them: ...Dammit, you're right

Rizzo: We'll start our own gang! Them: With blackjack and hookers!

(Introduction of Frankie Zuko) Them: I'm sorry, HUH???

(As credits roll) Me: So, how we feelin'? Them: Normal, I am so normal, I am feeling so fucking normal about this. Me: Thoughts? Them: *incoherent screaming*

We had some much fun doing these, we decided to keep a quotes list for more movie nights. Next up, Julie and the Phantoms!

[transpanda-1]

TIMELINE FOR PEOPLE WHO DON’T KNOW KH BECAUSE THEYRE SMART (for @ashenberry)

In the beginning, a mobile game happened. This is universally seen as a “bad move” and everyone hated it

Anyway, Ventus jettisoned from said mobile game with some extra darkness(tm) in his heart because he didn’t settle his debt on his pay to win gacha dues

Cut to baldy mcbaldman Xehanort. He’s a weirdo obsessed with darkness, so he goes: “Eh. Guess I’ll rip the excess darkness out of this kid’s heart and make a new person or smthn”

Cut to him doing that. Vanitas born. Vanitas has no face, just kinda a blurry black blob with red eyes

Ventus goes “ow my everything existentially” and passes out into a death coma. Luckily though an actual baby Sora’s heart is passing by and goes “oh lemme fill that pothole for u. Googoo Gaga.” And Ven’s heart no longer resembles the Grand Canyon

Vanitas has face now, like Sora.

Xehanort’s like “boooo why don’t you die harder” and shoved Vanitas and Ventus together again when they were stronger cause he needed to form his super extra special car keys

Ventus goes “wtf die” and Vanitas goes “Okay. Your heart tho.” And Ven goes “wait shit.” And then his heart explodes

The remnants of Ven’s heart return to Sora, “heart pothole filler extraordinaire”, and asks if there’s no vacancy, then he’s let in.

CUT TO YEARS LATER AND A BETTER STORY

Teen Sora’s chilling on his island with his pals, [Girl] and bestest pal Riku who definitely doesn’t have repressed gay feelings for Sora that will result in an angsty apocalypse

Oops the apocalypse

Anyway [Girl] is a super bright heart and escaped apocalypse by chilling in the room next door to Ventus’s but still just a bit too far from the ice machine for convenience.

Sora figures this out and goes “ooh I hope this doesn’t wake anything tramsgenderly in me” and releases [Girl]’s heart from his, at the cost of needing to release his own heart

Cut to waking up things tramsgenderly OUT of Sora’s heart

Turns out this universe makes two things when u release a heart. Ur heartless, who has ur heart, and your Nobody, who has ur body. Very straightforward I know.

Because Sora had Ven and [Girl] inside his heart, his mom lets him have two Nobodies: Roxas and Naminè.

[Girl] restores Sora quickly so those two actual nobodies start out as blank slates n figure out their identities

And absolutely nothing else happened no siree

Some nobodies tried making a clone of Sora but it turns out his tramsgender vibes were off the charts and made a girl named Xion. She’s trans. She explodes. Queen.

[derpylittlenico]

the following brought to you by Shower Thoughts tm tm tm

a "whump but not actually" not-fic? fic idea? whatever.

...

ok, so.

we know stiles is a pending accident on long legs. this isn't a secret.

but what if some member of the pack (maybe a mother henning Scott? or curious Allison? hell, maybe goddamn Isaac being a nosy bitch) accidentally catches a glimpse of a shirtless Stiles, and. just. bruises. bruises all over. from nip to goddamn hip.

cue...whoever...losing their shit via mass text to everyone else in the pack, because??? je m'fuhkin escuse? thu fucc??

I mean they are understandably Worried, bc those are so not lacrosse bruises. they would have seen that shit happen, and definitely heard about it too, because Stiles is unafraid to whine loudly, at great volume...well, unless he's actually hurt. so the fact that he's said nothing?

they are totally having guilt spirals, wondering is Grumpy Brows was right about wolves being too rough to be safe around humans, and is that why didn't he say anything??? bc he's spiteful and didn't want have to admit maybe Derek was right? bc omg, he'd totally not mention deep tissue bruising just to spite Derek.

(cue lots of Scott hand wringing and worried frowns. maybe even Derek staring melodramatically out of windows too dusty for even him to see out of bc he's Like That)

only?

......yeah, no, that's not what's going on, at all.

bc, see, Stiles is friends with the ladies from the Jungle. They are his best bitches, and he's learned not to bitch about a few minor bruises after hanging around people who routinely put on staggeringly tight compression tights and five inch high heels. Never mind the plucking and waxing.

It only took one Amateur Drag Night for him to learn to "suck it up, buttercup."

but anyway. they are his besties from other people's testes, and so drag his happy ass into shenanigans as often as possible.

...which includes pole classes at the local rec center, Thurs afternoons and every other Sunday evening.

and yeah, the bribe of free food following a two hour Lady Guhgah boogy sesh in short shorts is a nice bribe, but he doesn't really need to be bribed to hang out with them. They're a fuhkin blast to hang out with, and have some Stories.

(and also don't ignore him when he asks if they think he could be attractive to gay guys)

and ofc, though he only came for the good music and better company, he'd still put his entire ass into it and get really good at it. bc, as the queens have taught him, if he's not serving absolute cunt when the opportunity arises, why even bother.

but before all that, while he's still learning?

he'd bruise.

a lot. like? a lot a lot a lot.

bc the thing tv and movies don't tell you about pole dancing is that part of the trick is training your skin to kinda...stick? suction on? to the pole like Cameron Diaz stuck to the car windshield in That One Scene in The Counselor.

(but he doesn't talk about that movie. or that scene. bc some things just need to be forgotten.)

tl, dr?

in those early days, while he was still clenching more than clinging, in between getting dumped on his dump-truck, he admittedly looks like he's been PvPing the Hulk for funsies. Or picking fights with Creepy Grandpa Argent. Or just, like, generally slamming himself into walls.

so yeah.

"whump but not," bc the pack is scrambling to find a way to have an intervention over Stiles hiding injuries, bc he forgot to mention he and Jizz Taylor and Gloria Hole and Bicurious Georgia have decided to learn pole technique alongside Natalie Martin, a few bikers from the local biker bar, and Stiles' 55 yr old neighbor.