#as a Company Hellmart fosters the attitude that we employees have no real value

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

First, much love & thanks to those who sent virtual hugs😌. I was too tired after I left work last night to explain further, but now is as good a time as any.

The past couple of months, I've been happier in my job than in years (even with the physical exhaustion). For two reasons in particular. The kind regard of the dozens & dozens of my regular customers. Being told they appreciate my kindness & patience, my friendly manner, my bright smiles, is truly a balm for my spirit, even working under the cruel, dehumanizing conditions of Hellmart.

And in the past 4-5 weeks, I've been able to sit for part of each shift. In December, someone left a collapsible stool behind the Service Desk, and despite the fact I don't have a doctor's note, I started to use it when the pain in my ankles from standing 6-8 hours a day, got overwhelming. I was careful not to overuse it, and not use it when managers who might frown on it were around. And boy oh boy, did this make a huge difference in my level of pain! I went from taking Motrin 2-3 times a day, to once or not at all. Making me able to deliver even better service to all my customers - many of whom have been saying for years that management should let me sit.

Well, that's all over now. We got a new general manager this week, and as with all female general managers I've worked for at Hellmart, she's a real uncompromising hardass. I think they behave that way because in our company, they DO end up having to work harder than their male counterparts in order to succeed. Endemic in Hellmart corporate culture, women are not treated as true equals even in the 21st century (oh the stories I could tell about that!). This one has already shown no mercy.

During the recent Nor'easter, 68 people called out due to concerns about traveling in adverse weather conditions. Used to be if 50% of scheduled associates called out, no one incurred an absence. But under this one, they did. I wasn't surprised in the least. Worse still, the word came down that no one sits except those who have a previous doctor's excuse, which they now have to present anew. Even a 75 year old man with a clear limp has to prove his paperwork again.

Well, I don't have paperwork. I don't even have a doctor, since Hellmart booted me off their insurance plan (that's right folks, I fell right through the cracks of not qualifying because I don't get enough hours). So the past few shifts I've been on my feet the whole time, and the pain is back just like before...and my longtime customers are back to saying 'why aren't you sitting?'. Thus, the demoralization and hopelessness, and that feeling of being trapped there, has come back to me in earnest. While my knees and ankles are killing me.

When I can finally get to see the one HR associate, I'm gonna tell her my story as I have here, and then ask for what they call a 'reasonable accommodation'. There are at least 3 Hellmarts within a hour of our location that allow all cashiers & service desk staff stools for sitting. I bet morale is a lot better there than in my store!

*sighs sadly*

I honestly don't expect it'll make any difference, but I've gotta try, and hope there is enough compassion in whomever I talk to, to give me some relief.

Feet now elevated to try and reduce my ankle swelling, I'm gonna try and sleep - hoping beyond genuine hope that some mercy may be shown my way.

Completely demoralized about work right now. And given my homeless status, I'm more trapped here than ever.

Probably will be crying myself to sleep tonight.