#as I literally was only awake to drink water and watch these episodes 1 minute after drop

[piratewinzer]

The amount of soup was a surprise

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#10)

S3 E10: Down By Law.

Episode Description: Dr. Manning sustains an injury while helping a drive-by victim and Dr. Rhodes finds himself in uncomfortable waters.

Connor being in ‘uncomfortable waters’? I can hear Ava bullying him already.

(also i wrote a little thing abt maggie giving ava a red bull so enjoy that little bit of content)

Let’s get into it.

-barry just yeeted natalie against a car holy shit that’s fucking hilarious

-will needs to chill the fuck out

-YESSSSS

-THIS WHERE CONNOR BRINGS THE WOMAN HE WENT OUT WITH UP FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. AND THEN AVA HARASSES HIM FOR IT.

-this is one of the most iconic ava moments. (it’s first thing that pops up under the tumblr tag)

-ava overhearing connor not knowing his date’s last name. and ava walking over, already getting ready to make fun of him. barely concealing her smile

-the confidence with which she set down the file. she was too prepared and too excited

-this could just turn into a list of ava quotes

-”It must be hard, remembering all their names.”

“You know I read Derek Jeter used to send his conquests home with a gift basket. But a full cardio work up is... It’s much classier.”

-ava bekker secret baseball fan?

-Connor: “Jeter? You a baseball fan?”

Ava: “Oh, no. It’s much too boring. But I love gossip.”

-interesting. very, interesting... is it weird to anyone else to think about ava liking gossip?

-like the idea is fun and all but i hate the idea of ava being suuuper obsessed with gossip. it makes her seem way too shallow in my book. that being said, one of my hcs about women gossiping about all the shit men do to ava bc they know she’ll call them on it now has a lot more precedence

-i know she explicitly says that baseball is boring but i can’t get the idea of ava being a secret baseball fan out of my head. its just so novel

-HER SHIT EATING GRIN

- Connor: “Well, we will get you in and out of here as quickly as possible.”

Ava: “That’s what Dr. Rhodes is renowned for around here. Quick in and outs.”

Connor: *turns to her condescendingly*

Ava: *two finger salute* “I’m Dr. Bekker, by the way.”

-the lesbian icon jumped out

-also the fact that in the previous episode Ava’s mentor did the exact same salute. idk what it means but it’s not that important

-ava trying to hide her smile when asking the woman if she wanted them to contact her husband

-ava overhearing again when latham tells connor the woman he was with was doing cocaine

-ava smirking when connor says that he thinks the heart attack was from his sex and not the cocaine

-connor thinking he’s so good at sex he’s going to give this woman a heart attack

-he really drives All the ladies wild in EveryWay (sex, suicide. he’s the whole package)

-latham asking connor point blank “did you partake in the cocaine?”

-the ct team gives connor so. much. shit. it’s so funny

-also. ava just chillin at her desk looking at scans? that’s the kind of content i want to see. just her just being there. doing her own thing. that’s what i want

-THE GUY WITH A TEENAGE WIFE IS A REVEREND HOLY SHIT

-counting down the minutes til natalie drops dead (passes out but yk a girl can dream lol)

-sarah. back at it again with her rayon jacket and button up and backpack. the coffee cup only adds to the aesthetic

-connor being surprised that latham isn’t gonna let him do surgery on the women he fucked (twice, he might add)

- whatever you do, don’t think of a brown bear. are you thinking about it?

-maggie dealing red bull to people who need it. that’s a very soft idea

- ex:

Dr. Bekker is sitting at the desk in the ED. Well, sleeping, more like it. Her head is resting on her fist, her elbow precariously close to slipping off the the chair armrest, and her eyes open by just a hair.

“Dr. Bekker.”

Ava jolts awake.

“Maggie,” Ava says, strong accent cutting through, acknowledging the person standing over her. Hastily, she adjusts her jacket and scrubs, smoothing them back into place.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this tired.”

Ava shrugs, seamlessly slipping back into easy confidence.

“Rough couple of cases. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Uh huh,” Maggie says, unbelieving.

She sets a can of Red Bull on the desk with a knowing look.

“You need this more than anybody.”

Ava scoffs. “Those things? They are murder on your heart, come on.”

Maggie hums and walks away. Ava watches her leave, and when she’s out of sight, Ava darts forward, grabs the energy drink, immediately cracking it open and downing half of it.

- anyway.

- @punksarahreese that’s on you for making me believe ava loves energy drinks

- let’s continue

- sarah looking at charles telling her not to do something: I am not going to do a thing you said

- go off babe. it was the wrong decision but go off

- all the nurses watching this guy call nat a bitch:  👀 👀 👀 👀

- will being like: god that guy called you a bitch i fucking hate him

- and natalie being like: he is also refusing to let us treat the 14 yr olds cancer but you obviously have priorities

- sarah is so logical. she’s good at talking to people. can you FUCKING IMAGINE IF SHE HAD BETTER GUIDANCE (oh and less trauma)

- this is also the one with that hilarious screen cap of sarah holding a knife

- the way she is so calm about handing this patient a knife gives me anxiety

- THIS SCENE IS SO HARD TO WATCH IT SCARES ME SO MUCH

- sarah just in alone in a room with a man who keeps having visions of stabbing his wife. and her just handing him a fucking knife oh my god i have too much anxiety for this

- rewatching the series and getting completely confused bc norma is 5′7″ but she looks so short next to colin and the guy who plays latham

- AND RACHEL IS ALSO 5′ 7″ BUT THEY BOTH LOOK SO SHORT - WHY EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW SO TALL

- anyway. ignore that that’s not important

- I... the parallels btwn sarah offering this guy the ability to slit her throat (for therapy) and ava cutting her throat... i don’t know what to do with this information

- idk but sarah holding the knife got me feelin some type of way

- the way connor looks at ava with such contempt bc she... does her job (and his but yk) especially during the hug wtf dude honestly just stop looking at her

- this is also the episode where ava pawns off the patient’s hug onto connor. while yeah, it could ava just being annoying to connor by forcing him to hug his one night stand’s husband, but she did give connor due credit. (and something to be said about her being confused and a tad uncomfortable when the patient hugs her, which is why she pawns it off to rhodes)

- she also doesn’t hug the guy back, which is kind of funny, she never moves her arms and just shrugs out of it

- and like after the hug she takes a few steps away from the guy, really not wanting any more physical contact or attention

- there’s something interesting in ava’s expression when connor gets hugged by the guy, can’t quite explain it. i’m gonna go with it’s her trying to keep a straight face while connor hugs a man he just helped a woman cheat on, but that’s not all of it so

- or. okay, I think i got it. i think that that little expression when connor gets hugged is her rolling her eyes at him getting credit when ava did most of the heavy lifting. yes. final answer. i’m satisfied

- and her looking away from them is her stopping herself from laughing, bc connor is obviously not enjoying this

- and he’s so sad and angsty he can’t even play along with the jokes

- and ava smiling at him with pity as she walks in to talk to the patient, bc that’s really what it is. she feels bad for him bc connor is so obviously lonely

- and connor’s annoyed bc ‘dammit she does have a right to pity me i suck rn’

- med pushing the women are tough agenda LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP

- you hate your women characters so much just fucking shut your mouth

- and will being like ‘ i have a lot to learn about women not being objects’

- and nat saying ‘you are way further along than most’ like no, he’s not. the bar is on the ground and he still can’t jump it

- i’m pretty sure this show doesn’t pass the bechdel test. holy fucking shit it doesn’t. you’ve gotta be kidding me. (at least this episode doesn’t)

I can’t believe this episode didn’t pass the bechdel test. The only convo btwn two women were like maggie and sharon and they talk about barry and oh my god this is infuriating god med the bar is so low. And I’m pretty sure most episodes don’t pass the test anyway. Will is literally the representation of med. He gets lots of credit for doing bare minimum things like giving women rights.

Anyway.

This was a good episode. We dissected a lot of unspoken Ava things, which is very good. Ava had a lot of moments where she was there, but didn’t say anything, and when your characters can do that, that’s when you know your characterization is very good.

The moments where Ava isn’t really doing anything to forward the plot of the episode but she’s still just there, doing her own thing, are hands down my favorite. Her sitting at the desk looking at a scan while connor tells latham he didn’t do cocaine could possibly my favorite ava moment in the series, just bc it shows how much of her own character should could’ve been.

I drew an interesting parallel btwn sarah offering the guy to slit her throat and ava’s death. i have nothing for that but go wild

This episode also showed us Ava pitying Connor, another new aspect. she gives him shit but she also pities him. very good ep for little ava moments

as always, thanks for sticking through it

-

read the rest here:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

[thefragileblackdahlia]

Blink Twice if You’re Okay

Chapter Summary

Finally, a sunny day for vacationing, Ariel suggests the crew should head to Bora Bora. Sam and Ariel have some alone time.

Pairing(s): MOC!Soulmate!Lucifer x Ariel, Platonic! Sam x Ariel

Warning(s): Implied R*pe, HEAVY Angst, Mild Language

A/N: Here is my filler episode. I am really excited about it because it's the first chapter/episode where I have a free creative range. Sam x Ariel content. Let's see what I can do! Also, feedback is appreciated.

Beta'd by no one

Word count: 6,954

OUTFIT 1  OUTFIT 2

Hi before anyone goes into this chapter, I wanted to put a trigger warning for R*pe. It isnt heavily detailed but I just wanted to let you lovely people know. If you ever need anyone to talk to just message me or leave a comment and i will message you. ♥ There will be another TW further in the chapter just in case some of you skip this long-ass warning.

Ariel stood in the motel window, watching the people pass by. 

Days like these, she really missed Castiel and her many other angel companions. It was wrong of her to abandon her garrison, but what 'Heaven' stood for was not right, and the Winchesters deserved better. 

Humans deserved better.

The archangel decided to read a book called 'Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief.' It was a lovely book about a prepubescent boy and his destiny. She felt like the Winchesters could relate, defeating a rising evil and saving the world. 

Ariel slammed the book closed once she heard a breathy voice come from the motel room entrance.

"Morning, Ariel. Have you been up all night?" The voice asked.

"Angels don't sleep, I've told you this." She put it. The woman turned to set her eyes on where the voice came from. It was from Sam, coming in from a morning jog. 

A small smile formed on her lips. She was fond of Sam, and his big decision to end his demonic activities made it easier to look at him. His soul lightened by a tremendous amount, and it was almost as if he could be his own sun.

"So like you're always awake? What is that like?" Sam questioned. 

This was probably the longest he and Ariel had a conversation. He wasn't dumb, he noticed that she always avoided looking at him like his presence was a disease. It made him feel already closer to being a monster, but he was sure she was doing it for a better reason.

Ariel just let out a small giggle and made her way across the room to sit on Sam's bed. "It's not like anything if you have never experienced sleep before. And it isn't like I will ever be close to being human because of my grace, it basically refills." She paused and fixed her gaze on the wall mirror across from Sam's bed. 

"Being an archangel has its perks, but the closest to being human I can get is being empathetic and participating in activities. Like eating, drinking, and sex." Ariel concluded.

The tall hunter peeped his head out of the bathroom when she mentioned sex. He began talking with his toothbrush still in his mouth. "Wait, Angels have sex?" Sam had a slight look of amusement and disbelief.

Ariel glanced over at Dean, who was stirring in his sleep. Man, he was still asleep? The ginger nodded. "It isn't permitted," She returned her gaze back to Samuel. "But the rebellious angels do..." Her voice drifted as she thought about all those years of Angels rebelling and her having to execute them. 

"I wouldn't really know..." She added

Rushing water filled the silence momentarily, followed by spitting and then more silence. The brunette male leaned himself against the door frame. He didn't have an immediate response to that, so he just examined her and picked apart her vessel's features. 

It was decorated in freckles and beauty marks. Her eyes were a crystal blue and her lashes were long which complemented the round shape. Ariel's entire being was very alluring.

Sam cleared his throat and started, "What are you reading?-"

Ariel cut Sam off. "Do you guys usually sit around and wait for a case?"

Dean's groggy voice came from her side. "You got a better idea?" He ridiculed while rolling over onto his back and stretching. 

"You both talk too much. Have you not heard of sleep?" Dean snapped.

"Well, no one told you to go to the bar and drink yourself half to death." Sam countered while taking a seat next to the celestial being. 

The gentle giant had many more questions to ask Ariel, but not around Dean. He just wanted to know everything she knew and if he could redeem himself.

The 30-year-old man groaned as he moved to the edge of the bed. "Yeah, well, sue me for having fun." He drawled while sitting up.

This comment made Ariel cringe. 

The idea of drinking yourself under the table and flirting with an endless amount of women, being fun, was an overstatement. Not too long ago, she and Dean were sucking face in Jack's house, and nearly two weeks later, they were strangers again. 

Ariel avoided Dean as much as she could, and whenever Sam tried to get them to talk, it backfired.

"We could vacation." Ariel suggested.

Sam clenched his jaw at Dean's inconsiderate response. Maybe Ariel didn't sleep or eat, but she did display some emotions. She cried, laughed, and obviously, she loves. He hated how clueless his brother could be.

"Yeah, let's just hop on a flight to Bora Bora. Oh, wait, with what money? We barely had enough to stay at the motel." Dean queried. He knew what he was doing, pushing Ariel away. 

Feelings are what Dean tried to avoid in this life, but Ariel made it so much harder for him. Whenever she was around him, he felt the need to protect and hold her in his arms, and he wasn't sure if she had the same feeling.

Ariel scoffed and gestured to her back. "Did you forget that I have wings, dumbass? I can fly us there and maybe whip up some clothes but that's about it."

"Hanging out at the beach actually sounds nice, Dean." Sam interjected. 

Maybe bathing in the sun could take his mind off things, or perhaps it would give him the personal time with Ariel he wanted. The hazel-eyed hunter pressed his lips into a thin line and glanced over at Ariel, who was just waiting for a response. 

"Or...We could go without you." Sam added, which earned a questioning look from both Ariel and Dean.

That suggestion made Ariel's heart flutter. Alone with Sam? She never thought about it, but now that she has, she didn't object.

Dean's face contorted to the thought of his brother alone with Ariel. He hesitated before speaking. He was not good for Ariel, maybe Sam could give it a shot. Sam was smarter and more considerate. 

"Sure, Go ahead. I'll just go to Bobby's," Dean asserted, nonchalantly.

Ariel could tell it bothered him, she could sense the tension in the air, and it only made her want to leave. 

Their unhealthy dynamic and the fighting, somehow, she was always in the middle of two brothers. That is how it started, and that was how her story would inevitably end. 

"Alright." She mumbled before disappearing.

Sam was about to address Ariel, but she just up and left. He immediately looked at his brother and shook his head. 

"You ignore her for weeks...she offers a vacation day in Bora Bora, and you act like an ass. " Sam scolded.

 Now Sam had to find the archangel, apologize for Dean and possibly give her a hug for Dean. The tall being pushed himself off of the dingy motel bed and started for the door.

This radical reaction made Dean angry. "What- I mean, you're practically taking her on a date." He paused. "Why not just kiss her in front of me- Lay her down gently and go to town." The bow-legged hunter stepped to Sam as he spoke.

It was obvious Dean was jealous, but Dean literally had the opportunity to take Ariel to the beach and enjoy a day in relaxation, but he fucked that up moments ago. Sam took a minute to think and then just grabbed his coat and scoffed. 

"Y'know. With you acting like this- maybe I will." Sam sneered and left the room to search for their angel friend.

Dean was taken aback by his brother's forwardness. He did not expect him to say something like that, which meant Dean really messed up. The surly hunter stood in the doorway as he watched his brother leave.

Fuck.

LATER

A soft rustling sound filled the air.

"Samuel? I bought us swimwear!" Ariel exclaimed as she arrived in the motel room. Her eyes darted around in hopes of finding the tall man, but all she was met with was silence and a glowering look from Dean. "Sam?"

Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. "He went out- looking for you." He slammed the lore book closed and grabbed his duffle bag. 

Just then, Sam entered with a case of beer.

"Hey, I couldn't find Ariel, but- Hey, where'd you go? I looked everywhere for you." Sam asked with a laugh. He searched everywhere for her, the diner, the pool he even stole a car and drove to the strip mall, yet here she was, standing in the room with her arms full of clothes.

"What's all this? Where'd you get the money?" Sam chuckled.

Ariel smiled and wigged the bunch of pool noodles. "Clothes! I saw in the movies that people bring a big wardrobe on vacation, even if it's for a few days. I also picked out swimwear. I wasn't sure what your favorite color was- because I know humans become peeved when you forget their favorite things. Like when I forgot Dean's favorite pie flavor-" She started rambling.

"Ariel?" Dean cut her off.

Ariel glanced at Dean, "huh?"

Dean shoved his arm's into his leather jacket. "You're rambling."

"Sorry, I'm just excited. Angels were never allowed to come to earth, and the only beach adjacent place I visited was The Garden of Eden...and when I was there- Lucifer-he uh. " Ariel stared off into the distance, her nails softly digging into the plastic bags.

She tried to fight the impending flashback, but it won.

"Why do you love them and not me? Those apes are flawed beyond comprehension, but us, Little one- We're perfect. You're supposed to love me. We are soul mates!" Lucifer rutted his body against Ariel's, a loud cry erupting from her throat.

The archangel cleared her throat and looked at Sam who's brows were furrowed. "Nothing good happened to me when I was in the Garden. So sue me for looking forward to one good day." She muttered, with her hands visibly shaking.

Her words silenced the boys. Sam was fascinated by how old she was. And Dean was bothered by the fact that Lucifer had done something to her. 

The Garden was supposed to be this sacred place. God was supposed to be watching over everything, right? How could God of all beings let that happen to her? Dean felt like an asshole.

Sam clenched his jaw and sat the beer down on the tv stand. "It's okay, here gimme that." He stretched for the bag of swimwear but recoiled when he saw Ariel flinch. 

What could Lucifer have done that scarred an Archangel of the lord?

"No, it's okay. Let's go, I want to go." Ariel breathed and grabbed the toys and the beer. "Bye, Dean. See you tomorrow." The redhead smiled wanly at the older Winchester.

"Have fun." Was the last thing the two heard before Ariel transported them to the Resort.

LOBBY 

They arrived in the resort lobby: Conrad Bora Bora Nui.

"A little warning there next time." Sam laughed from the ground. 

The male was buried underneath many plastic bags. He let out a low groan and gestured to the front desk concierge, "Go check us in our room while I gather this stuff."

"I've never interacted with...other humans before, I mean- I never spoke to anyone else. Even at the store I just gave them the money." Ariel whispered while kneeling by Sam's head. 

The only humans she interacted with were at the store, and that didn't go too well. They asked her if she were a robot and why she was dressed like the 70s 'threw up on her.' She did not like that.

"Here, it's okay, just help me up, and I will book it," The long-haired hunter tossed the things aside as he saw Ariel stretch her hand out for him to grab. He grasped her hand and pulled himself up. 

"Thanks."

Ariel grabbed the clothes and whipped up suitcases out of thin air for their clothes. She looked down at her attire. With a thought, the woman was now dressed in a short, red sundress. She smoothed down her now straight hair and glanced up in time to see Sam ogling her.

"Here, You look like you just came from a marathon- maybe this would suit you better." Ariel murmured as she snapped her fingers and changed Sam's clothes. He now wore a Hawaiian button-up with pale gray shorts and male sandals. 

Sam snorted and looked down at his outfit.

The hunter appreciated the gesture, but he felt more comfortable in his running clothes. He didn't want Ariel to use up all her grace just to have him in some fancy luxurious person clothes. 

"This is a bit much, don't you think?"

Why did the Winchesters never accept anything good? It bothered her. 

Ariel gave the human a small pat on the arm. "It's okay. I want the full experience. I saw that people dress like this in the movies."

"Really?" Sam chuckled at Ariel's ignorance. It was a delight to be with a celestial being that had no idea how humans worked. He wondered if all angels were like this. 

"Let's go." Sam murmured while taking his hand in hers and pulling her toward the front desk.

PRESIDENTIAL DELUXE SUITE

Once the two were situated in their suite, Sam strolled out on the balcony of the Villa and spotted Ariel, leaning over the edge. She looked at peace with her red hair blowing in the breeze. 

If someone had told Sam years ago that he would be in the Bahamas with an Archangel, he would have told them that they were crazy. 

Ariel shifted onto her other foot and glanced over her shoulder at the hunter standing by the doorway. "Thanks for coming with me, Sam."

"You don't have to thank me, who would pass up the Bahamas? I mean, I like researching, but I guess I kinda needed a break." As he chatted, he inched closer to his speaking partner. 

Sam perched himself on the wooden railing, next to the woman, and resumed talking. "I- I kinda wanted to get you alone, so I could talk to you about...me? I mean, I want to know more about you too." He rambled.

"Sam, It's okay. I already know." Ariel laughed at Sam's nervousness and placed a light hand on the human's forearm. 

This sweet gesture caused Sam to tense up. He wasn't used to someone other than Ruby touching him, and to have an Angel caress him, it made him uneasy. Ariel overlooked Sam's body language and flashed him an alluring smile. 

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything," Sam replied and moved closer to her. A small voice in his head screamed at him to move the hell away from her, but he couldn't. There was something about her energy that drew him in, and Sam felt safe. He knew that he was in good hands, and he'd be damned if he would let something like this fall into the hands of someone else.

Ariel slowly pulled her hand back and motioned over to the white sofa on the deck. "Well, there isn't much I can tell you." She paused and plopped down on the cushion and patted the spot next to her. "But from what I do know, we should sit."

The tall being shuffled over to the couch and cautiously planted himself next to the angel. He fiddled with his fingers and kept his gaze on Ariel.

"Okay, well as far as I know and what I've been told by my older brother- is that you have been trying to track down Lilith and you've been using your powers but- You're drinking demon blood...that stuff is bad Sam."

Ariel moved her hand onto Sam's and gripped it tightly as she told him all she knew. "I know you mean well, but nothing good will come of this if you sacrifice your humanity just to kill one demon." She paused. "You tell yourself, it's to save people but if you have to risk the light in you, then does the end really justify your means?"

Sam averted his gaze once she brought up the blood-drinking. He was saving people. That was all that went through his mind when he thought about using his powers. It was the only way he could cope.

 "I... what she did to Dean- She's breaking the seals and you're telling me you don't want her dead? I can kill her, I just have to get strong and then I can kill her." Sam choked out.

Ariel regarded the man with an expression that was inscrutable when Sam spoke. 

It took him a while to gather the courage to look Ariel's way, he felt like the dam behind his eyes was going to collapse at any second.

"You remind me of someone..." The angel whispered. 

Ariel recommenced, "Sam, this isn't the way to go, and if you continue down this path...I cannot promise you I will stay to protect you."

"Y'know, I can perceive the human soul and yours is very, very bright." Ariel raised her palm to the hunter's face and cupped his cheek. The agony emanating off of his being overwhelmed her and drowned her. She could feel her chest tightening with every breath.

"It's beautiful." The archangel murmured before moving incredibly closer and shifting onto her knees. Ariel raised her fingertips to Sam's temples and sent surges of her grace into him. She wanted him to see what she saw.

The hunter could feel the tears coming and just as Ariel sent the surge of grace, they fell over the precipice. Samuel's eyes glazed over, resembling Ariel's grace-charged eyes. 

Sam's face contorted as she sent the many images of himself into his mind.  His eyes darted from side to side as he saw himself but behind there was a bright, nearly blinding light behind his figure. His ears perked once he heard her dulcet voice.

"You could be your own sun, that's how bright it is. So don't worry about some darkness within you, there is none. You and your crusade, to kill Lilith- It leads to darkness." Ariel whispered.

This exchange was intimate for them. 

There was a long pause before Sam pulled Ariel into a crushing embrace. He nuzzled his head against her neck, tears streaming down his face. 

Sam could not for the life of him tell what it was about this strange woman except that she just reminded him of something, someone, of Jessica. If Sam could see Jessica in her, he only wondered who Dean saw in her. Maybe mom?

"You can't be real." He whispered. Samuel's hold on her tightened tremendously. "Someone like you can't be real." The troubled man repeated, more for himself than her.

"I am real and I'll be here for a long time...I hope." Ariel smiled and gave her human companion a kiss on his forehead. She lingered until her vessel reminded her of Dean. 

Dean, Ariel missed him. She missed comforting him and watching the stars. A soft buzz filled her ears. 

Sam sniffled and lightly nudged the angel. "Sorry- Okay, so, tell me about you. You must be very old. I'm guessing 5 billion years old."

"Close, but no cigar. I'm 10 billion years old give or take a few. Thanks for making me feel old." Ariel playfully pushed Sam away, which was followed by a small sigh. 

This caught Sam's attention.

Sam looked out to the sea, watching the sunset. "Was it lonely?"

"Not at first... I have- well, had four brothers; they are also Archangels. There's Gabriel, Raphael... He did this to me." She gesticulated to the scars that were now fading. 

"Then, Michael, he is the oldest. He says I ruin everything."

Ariel gave a sad laugh and shifted in her seat. She turned to her side, raised her legs, and laid them across Sam's lap. Then, she relaxed her head on the back cushion. 

"Y'know how a younger sibling comes in and knocks over all the blocks..."

Sam chuckled at her analogy. "Yeah, I think I get it. Sounds like a horrible family." He fixed his hazel-eyes on her sapphire eyes. 

When she got down to the last name, her eyes seemed to gloss over. It wasn't often Ariel cried or showed any other emotions besides joy or anger, but Sam did notice when she disassociated. 

Sam laid his hands on her calves, and he gave them a small squeeze to let her know he was listening.

"Then there's Lucifer..." Ariel breathed. Just saying his name made her wings tense up.

Sam started. "We can talk about movies if you want-"

Ariel shook her head and chuckled. "No, it's okay. I'd rather tell you than Dean. He...would not handle it well." She paused and began telling her story. 

"Father, he made me a part of Lucifer and So that sort of made us more than just archangels created by the same thing." Ariel pulled her knees to her chest and hugged herself.

The celestial being fingered the frills on her dress hem, sadness clouding her features. "Him and I, we were God's favorites. We were left alone most of the time. We were a pair- two peas in a pod...but then one day that changed." 

 "Well, It started with the conception of you- humans. I was okay with not being a prized possession, but Lucifer..." Ariel's voice cracked.

"So, when Lucifer wanted me to rebel, begging me to join...I said no. He said I was a part of him and that he didn't need permission..." Ariel closed her eyes and shook her head once she began having flashbacks of The Garden.

Trigger Warning: Implied R*pe (read with caution) Please do not progress if this may trigger you. After this flashback, there will be a short summary of what happened.

FLASHBACK

The sun beamed down on the greenery, morning dew trickling down the blades of grass. In the distance, there were animals grazing.

"Gadreel, please!" A disembodied voice came from somewhere near the Garden.

"I cannot, you know the rules. I'm sorry, Little one." Gadreel held his military position as he eyed the girl in front of him. 

It was Ariel.

"I am so much older than you, not fair of you to call me that. Please, I promise I won't do anything. They're arguing again...I just want to be alone with the trees." Ariel pleaded with the guardian angel.

Gadreel opened his mouth to speak but stopped, his face contorting. A line appeared between his brows as his eyes darted from the archangel to heavenward. He seemed to be listening to something or someone but Ariel couldn't discern who.

"Maybe don’t go in the garden today..."  Gadreel whispered. 

Ariel was taken aback by his anxiousness. "Why not? You would let me in any other day."

The guardian seemed fixed on something else as he gazed at the beauty before him. He had an inscrutable expression that teetered between pitying and haunted. 

Something was wrong.

"Okay, be careful." Ariel's guardian companion huffed.

"Always," The archangel squealed and gave Gadreel a light peck on his cheek before flying into the Garden.

When she disappeared, a disembodied voice echoed throughout Gadreel's mind. 

'Good. Now, Leave your post.' 

The angel hesitated for a moment, glancing back over his shoulder at his friend settling down but the river."I'm sorry, Little one."

Gadreel flew away.

Ariel resided near the stream and stretched her vessel's limbs before laying on her back. She only came into the Garden when they put her in the middle of things. Again, Lucifer put her on display for everyone in the garrison to see; Asking her to join him. When she declined, most of the angels snickered, embarrassing Lucifer. 

He did not like that.  

For years, Lucifer had been throwing a tantrum of the creation of humanity, amongst other things. It greatly affected the whole Archangel family, but Ariel never said a word about how she truly felt. 

Deep down, she knew that she wasn't made to serve heaven, and once she finally saw humans for the first time, her heart was set. Humans were to be loved, cherished, and above all things, protected. And after his last act of aggression against her, she wanted no part of her other half. 

This made Lucifer more vehement. 

No one agreed with him, and those that did were never outspoken.

"I knew you'd be down here, Little one." A sultry incorporeal voice came from behind her, frightening her. 

Ariel's body tensed at the way he put emphasis on 'little one.' She did not like this nickname- or at least when it came out of his mouth. When others said it, it was like a term of endearment, but when Lucifer said it, it made her being crawl.

"Are you cloud watching?" He addressed her again, starving for attention. 

She would not give it. 

"You could at least look at me when I'm talking to you." Lucifer growled.

His explosive temper instilled fear into the young angel's heart. It was not fair; he was older, and stronger by so much. She felt helpless in this situation, and it wasn't like her other brothers would step in and make Lucifer leave her alone. God was no better, but still, she loved her Father. 

Ariel finally set her vessel's eyes on his.

Lucifer's eyes were distant. They held nothing in them but possessiveness and wrath. "Why did you leave me like that?" He asked coldly.

Ariel perched herself up on her palms while keeping her eyes locked with his. "You always shout over the same things. I won't be on display with you asking such inane questions."

"My questions aren't stupid, it's important and lesser angels don't think for themselves like we do, they're meant to follow. Now if God's two most favorited Angels rebelled because, well who cares of the because- They would follow us..." Lucifer took a seat next to his sister and crossed his legs.

"What you'd be leading them to is damnation and i will not join that. Your logic is skewed and Father won't appreciate us defiling his creation he took so long to make." Ariel countered while pushing herself to her feet.

Lucifer's expression hardened as he listened to her. "Damnation? I'd be leading them to triumph. Imagine what you and I could do together..." The man's word fell off as he shifted onto his feet and made an advance on her. 

"What we could make..." He murmured as he disappeared.

"You and I will do nor make anything. Why can't you get it through your thick skull that- I. Will. Not. Join. YOU!" Ariel set her eyes on the gate ahead, seeing that Gadreel was not at his post as usual. 

Lucifer reappeared behind the angel placing himself betwixt her wings. "Why can't you get it through your thick skull, that I'm not doing this without you." The corrupt being roughly set both hands on his sister's shoulders and squeezed them tight.

"And I'm done asking for permission." He whispered in a breathy voice.

"You're insane!" Ariel breathed as she tried to pull herself away, but he just dragged her back to him.

"No... I'm actually not." Lucifer growled, dipping his arms under her feathers and pressed his body against hers. His archangel blade appeared in his hand; the pointed bit pushed lightly into her chest. 

The color drained out of her face as a high-pitched ring filled the air, besides their heavy breathing.

The nefarious being led her over to a nearby tree, shoving Ariel against the tree.

"Luci... This isn't the way..." The ginger's voice broke as she said the word 'this.' Ariel tried to flap her wings to get away but with him pressed so hard against her scapulars it was agony if she even tried moving an inch.

"Please, We can talk this out..." She panted.

"Fuck his Garden. Fuck his Creation. I'm way past talking." Lucifer muttered through clenched teeth, lifting the blade to her neck. He dipped his head down, pressing his cool lips against her vessel's warm neck. 

It invigorated him. The thrill, her fear.

Ariel's eyes filled with grace, donning their rosy color; This was her fighting back. She set both hands on the bark and pushed away from it, but failed to overpower his hold.

Lucifer let out a wry laugh and resumed leaving marks all across her neck. The offender ran his vessel's calloused hands over the curves of her waist.

Ariel began weeping, "Michael!" She tried, but her prayer was cut short when Lucifer slit her throat, her grace seeping out of the cut. Her knees buckled as her essence was stolen. 

"Mmm" Lucifer moaned as he inhaled her grace, his once rosy eyes slowly shifting to a more blood-red undertone. "Now, for the best part..." He cooed in a honeyed voice. 

"NO! " Ariel shut her eyes and reopened them, filling them with more grace, but it just poured out of her neck like a faucet. She wriggled under his hold like a worm, her wings flapping causing moans of agony to exit her mouth.

At this moment she wondered where Gadreel was, where was Castiel? Where was her big brother Michael? Where was Dad? 

"Please..."Ariel knew nothing about intercourse or how humans managed to get it done, but she knew this was not how things went. There were steps to take, and her vessel did not appreciate the way the monster was treating her.

Lucifer brutally capped her mouth with his calloused hand, muttering a "Shut up."  He hastily lifted her dress and grinned. 

"It will be alright." Lucifer sang to his little sister. 

It's safe now ♥ Continuing with Sam x Ariel

Sam held the sides of Ariel's face and searched both her eyes. He wasn't sure what to say. By what he put together from her broken words were that Lucifer had defiled her in the Garden.

To add to that, no one came to save. Not even God.

"Don't worry. I'm here. Dean's here, and we won't let him get free." The hunter pulled the tired archangel into a tender hug, giving her a hard kiss on her forehead.

Sam cradled her for hours, partly wishing Dean was here because he could have probably changed her mood by a great deal.

Soon, Sam fell asleep with Ariel still conscious in his arms. 

A light breeze blew through her scarlet tresses sending a light scent of cherry shampoo past Sam's nose. The giant stirred in his sleep and tightened his hold on the angel. 

Sam slowly opened his eyes and let out a low groan and stretched his body. "Is it morning already? I didn't mean to fall asleep." He murmured.

On the horizon, the sun met the sea, casting a beautiful glow on the sky. The sunrise was always one aspect of earth that Ariel loved. All the colors and sensations made it so winsome. 

With her ear pressed against the giant's chest, she could feel every heartbeat. 

"It's okay. I didn't come to just swim. I came to bond." Ariel murmured. 

The archangel stretched her wings and draped them over her and Sam; They were large enough to hide the duo. A light shadow to be seen over their bodies. 

The hunter glanced down at the shadow and furrowed his brows. He never wished more to see her wings then-  to see the sun glistening and painting her feathers in the purple and pink hues. Dean told him a few times what they looked like but that they look scarier in person. He said to 'imagine white bird wings and dye them red.' 

Dean wasn't very descriptive.

"What is heaven like?" The hunter watched the sky as he imagined heaven. He was hopeful yet terrified because if they banished an archangel for helping humans, could heaven really be a great place? Sam concluded it was better than going to hell.

Ariel tore herself from the human and rose to her feet. "Heaven is one, but many." The angel didn't really want to talk about home, she ran away from there. Heaven to her was like an abusive home, full of innocent angels being manipulated by a person convinced they are doing good.

"What does that mean?" Sam got up from the white couch and followed the angel. It wasn't like he meant to prod but he needed to satiate his curiousness.

Ariel whipped around and glared at the tall man. "It means just what I said. Now please, stop asking me." She let out a shaky breath and turned away. "I understand you are a curious human, but it is still a sensitive topic for me." Ariel murmured.

"I didn't mean to- I'm sorry." Sam drew his lips into a thin line and clasped his hands. "How about we go check out the restaurant?"

The angel's mood switched almost instantly, a smile danced across her lips. "Yes! I want to try whatever a mimosa is." Ariel laughed and flew into the hotel room to change her clothes.

"A mimosa? Can angels even get drunk?" Sam laughed as he walked into their suite. He assumed she went to change her clothes or at least wait for him to change. The hunter grabbed the suitcase that Ariel gave him and opened it to find a bunch of clothes, tailored to him. 

Sam rummaged through the clothes and found a suitable outfit and waited for his angel companion in the loungeroom of the suit. The service wasn't ideal in this area but he still attempted to send Dean a message that they were okay.

RESTAURANT

There was a small flutter of wings that startled Sam until he looked up to see Ariel standing in front of him, beaming.

"Is this attire appropriate? I've been alive for a long time and I value humans’ idea of fashion. I wasn't sure if these shoes were alright with this dress..." Ariel rambled, twiddling her fingers as she talked about her passion. 

Sam listened to her ramble for about five minutes before he just decided to stop her; He was starving. "You look beautiful, don't worry." The human pushed himself to his feet and gestured to the door. "We should maybe walk instead of teleport."

"Perhaps." Ariel hummed and started for the door. 

Together they walked down to the restaurant for breakfast.

"How long have you known this Castiel?" Sam asked with his mouth full of uncooked spinach. He preferred the healthier diet, claiming that you can't hunt if you have cholesterol problems. 

Luckily, Ariel was an angel and didn't have to worry about that.

Ariel's eyes widened and she put up her finger. "Don't, It's like jinxing yourself. If you say an angel's name too much they might show up." The archangel looked around, tightening her hold on the wineglass. She didn't want to see Castiel. 

The last time she saw him was nearly a week ago and she probably frightened him and the rest of the host. 

"Are you avoiding him?" Sam mumbled while sipping some of his water. He drew his lower lip between his teeth as he hadn't considered other angels potentially showing up. 

A line appeared between Ariel's eyebrows at his question. It wasn't difficult but it wasn't easy to answer. "No, It's just..." Her words fell off as she looked heavenward. "When I escaped, something happened to my eyes-." The angel paused and brought her hand to her cheek, gesturing to her eyes. "One turned red, like...Lucifer's. It may have frightened him along with the rest of heaven." 

"Red? Why does it matter what color they are? You are nothing like him." Sam frowned.

Ariel shook her head, "We are one in the same, yet opposite ends of the spectrum and so if-" 

Sam spoke out of turn, interrupting her. "If he's bad, then you're good? What happens if he's good?" His eyebrows rose at the thought of Ariel potentially turning bad. It was something he could not imagine.

"I don't think that would ever happen. Lucifer is corrupted, his grace is red and there no turning back from that." The archangel spouted in a brittle tone. She could not see herself becoming corrupted even after the years of being locked away.

The friendly giant tilted his head in speculation. He wasn't one to pry or be pessimistic but if red grace meant a corrupted angel- what did that mean for her? 

Ariel gazed at her companion with wide eyes. "The seals." She murmured. "The weaker the cage becomes- if he gets out..." Her eyes drifted off to the side, then down at her mimosa. She raised the glass to her glossed lips and took a long sip.  

Sam surveyed Ariel's grimace for reluctance before stretching his arm over the table and cupping her hand. It was a small gesture but the comfort probably meant a lot to Ariel. His mouth curved into a wan smile. "We won't let him."

"Just listen- okay? This is crucial." The celestial being inhaled deeply and gazed into Sam's hazel-eyes as she parted her lips to speak. "Promise me, you won't hesitate." 

"What?" The longhaired males asked, his face shifting from a puzzled look to a doleful one. Sam immediately got up from his seat once he realized what she meant. His small disturbance grabbed everyone's attention in the near vicinity. 

The archangel quickly intertwined their fingers. She flew them to an empty part of the beach and let out a small sigh. 

"We didn't pay..." Sam murmured before glancing to his side and seeing the sorrow-stricken angel. 

"Tell me why I have to kill you, now." He demanded in a low tone.

"Because I can feel myself withering away!" Ariel shouted. "There is this darkness encompassing me with every turn and no matter how many humans I aim to protect and save- it never goes away. It grows every day- I can feel his wrath already, Sam..." Her tone was wobbly, indicating that her vessel was bound to weep.

At first, Sam was taken aback but then his features softened as she revealed what she was going through.

If she could sense his wrath already, then how far gone was she and how much longer did they have with this sweet version of her? 

Sam's eyes glazed over, he fought back his tears as best he could. 

"Promise me..." Ariel whispered whilst caressing his face. Her fingertips grazed the light stubble on his jaw then ran over the few bumps on his cheek. 

Sam's lips quivered as he tried so hard to hold in his sobs but a strangled sob escaped his throat. His entire body trembled as he thought back to two years ago and his interaction with Madison and how he had to shoot her in the heart.

This hurt equally to that or maybe even worse. He'd grown to like Ariel in the past days since he has met her that day Travis died. It was hard for him to even think about killing her, how would he even be able to, she was an archangel. 

"How?" Sam choked out. 

Just then there was a blade in Sam's hands, with curved edges. He studied the sword, his fingers tracing over the Enochian inscriptions. The distraught hunter gripped the hilt with care and let his arm fall to his side. 

"Why not Dean? Why me?" He spoke in a quavering voice.

"You're strong..." Ariel whispered, wrapping her dainty hands around his large mitts. She aimed the pointed end above her left breast, showing him where she wanted it to happen. "And- You'll be the only one close enough." She finished. 

Of course, Sam had no idea what she meant, but if Lucifer was set free, the hunter would be the only one close enough, strong enough to break from Satan's hold. 

"No..." The long-haired male shook his head in defiance. 

"No, If i can fight my darkness, you can too. I won't let you- I can't." Sam took a moment to gather himself before speaking through choked sobs. "Dean, He would tell you the same thing... If there is good in you, then maybe-"

"Abel..." Ariel leaned into Sam's warmth, swiping the blade from his palms. Her eyes moved from side to side as she talked, almost as if she was experiencing something entirely different. 

Sam stared at the angel. Why did she call him Abel? Was she having a flashback? He opted not to say anything and let her finish.

"I tried to lead you to the light..." Ariel whispered in a chagrined manner. "Just promise me, Abel." She squeezed her eyes shut and rested her forehead against his chest. 

"I promise." Sam murmured in a husky tone. 

The human pulled Ariel into a crushing embrace, gazing out into the horizon. "I promise." He affirmed more clearly, resting his chin on her head.

For a vacation, it wasn't that all relaxing. His nerves were constantly yo-yoing and his eyes were puffy from crying. Ariel, of course, looked perfect, even when she cried. 

"Ready to go home?" Samuel questioned. 

"Yes." 

Their home wasn't a conventional home, they traveled from place to place, slept in dingy motels yet they always had one constant in their lives; The 1967 Chevy Impala.

That was home for the boys. And now it was Ariel's as well.

SERIES MASTERLIST

[365-money-diary]

DAYS 50 - 56

DAY FIFTY

6:25 AM - Up an at ‘em. It’s vaccine day! The State Farm Stadium is 30 minutes away from my house and I kind of have a history of feeling light-headed and such so I eat a piece of toast before we leave. Prep our water bottles and coffee in our respective hydroflasks and we’re out the door.

7:25 AM - We arrive to the stadium and go through a slew of checkpoints. Unfortunately because of the storms they aren’t giving out plus ones today so we will try for K again when I get my second. The process is pretty easy and we are out of there in 30 minutes. I get the Pfizer vaccine. :) 

8:30 AM - K and I take a walk since I still have some time before work starts. 

10:00 AM - Today is going to be super easy workwise so I just kind of take my time easing into it. I start to feel some tingles from the shot as well as arm soreness. Nothing I can’t handle though! 

12:00 PM - Annual charge for my recipe plugin comes through for my blog. Heat up broccoli fried rice for lunch. $49.00

2:00 PM - My arm is starting to hurt but nothing I can’t handle. Eat pretzels.

4:00 PM - Ditch work early to take a walk to the lake. Bring wine in a hydroflask to just sit and enjoy the weather. I chat with T on the way and then FaceTime with H who says he’s moving to Philly. Super bummed honestly. DJing with him is one of my favorite things on this planet.

6:00 PM - Arrive home to find a sleepy K. My arm is really hurting at this point and we decide to take a nap.

7:30 PM - Wake up feeling groggy and in pain. Remember they advised drinking water before taking Tylenol so I down 48 ounces and actually start to feel better. Heat up a Big Sur Breakfast burrito for dinner and K and I watch the first 30 minutes of Uncut Gems. K’s brother hits him up to play RocketLeague and so he breaks away to that and I watch more of The Challenge.

11:30 PM - I am tired of being awake and would just rather be asleep.

DAY FIFTY TOTAL: $49.00

DAY FIFTY-ONE

8:30 AM - Wake up feeling like my body has been doing work to fight something, but without any external symptoms (fever, chills, fatigue) minus my sore arm. Continue hydrating and make a chemex.

9:00 AM - I can’t really work on the trim today as planned because of my arm, so I decide to work on my blog instead. 

11:00 AM - Make pancakes and hashbrowns for breakfast.

2:30 PM - Post a recipe for Greek Salad. The Internet seems to be receptive which is nice… my last few recipes have flopped. Finish The Ruins. Actually bummed Sara & KellyAnne didn’t win. Evan, Kenny, and Johnny suck and needs to rot in hell. Make a giant bowl of popcorn.

5:00 PM - Drop off a ball and a tube to a friend who is starting to take Pure Barre classes again. Walk back and then K and I walk to the lake with the dog. Feels like the best thing we’ve done all day tbh. My arm still hurts too much to exercise so this is the best it’s gonna get.

7:45 PM - Arrive home and roast potatoes for buffalo chicken sandwiches. I’ll definitely be shooting this for the blog.

8:00 PM - It’s one of those nights where I already did everything and I’m tired of screens. I reached out to a friend a few days ago for book recs and I pick one from the list called The Guest List. Buy it on kindle. $16.40

9:30 PM - I’m already ready to start a new season of The Challenge. This one is Fresh Meat II. Can’t believe Darrell gets eliminated on the first episode. Dang.

10:45 PM - K and I decide we’re tired and that it’s time for beddie. My body is definitely ready for sleep. 

DAY FIFTY-ONE TOTAL: $16.40

DAY FIFTY-TWO

8:30 AM - Wake up feeling pretty rested. Definitely a lot better today. Arm is mildly sore. Might be able to ride the bike or play DDR today. Maybe modify Pure Barre but probably not. Take a shower for the first time since Thursday because I usually shower after I exercise and that hasn’t happened in a while… hah.

9:00 AM - My kettle has been here for a few days but I haven’t broken it out of the shed yet. Unbox the beauty, give it a little rinse and make my first cup of coffee. I like how quiet it is and how little space it takes up. 10/10.

10:15 AM - I notice I still have a half block of tofu leftover so I make tofu/egg tacos for breakfast with Field Roast Sausage, mushrooms, onions, and jalapenos.

11:15 AM - Clean the kitchen and prep for shooting. I am feelin’ the vibes from my last post so I don’t want to lose motivation. Make miso butter pasta since it’s really all I can swing with the ingredients in my pantry. 

1:15 PM - Finish shooting and import the photos into my library while watching The Challenge in the background. Decide might as well start editing. I don’t have much else going on and I’m again, feeling motivated.

4:30 PM - K goes on a drive and I decide to play DDR. My arm is not ready for barre but it can dangle a bit while I stomp on some arrows. I decide I really want to learn Afronova on heavy which is something I never was really able to pass consistently in my youth. It’ll be a good thing to work toward over the next few weeks.

5:30 PM - Pour a glass of wine and hop on zoom with K’s family. It’s nice to see them.

7:30 PM - Make buffalo chicken sandwiches for dinner with potatoes.

9:00 PM - Walk to the lake with K. 

12:00 AM - Finish my entire post for miso butter noodles. I don’t think I’ve ever shot and posted something in the same day. Exhausting! Hah

DAY FIFTY-TWO TOTAL: $0

DAY FIFTY-THREE

8:00 AM - Pure barre charge. Make a chemex. And eat half a bagel with earth balance and nooch for breakfast. Also get charged for my automatic payment to Amazon for iron pills $27.93

9:00 AM - Today is my officemate’s birthday. My boss and I pitched in to get her a Lululemon gift card. $35

12:00 PM - Leftover miso butter noodles for lunch with air-fried broccoli.

5:00 PM - Today was honestly exhausting but I am ready to move. Play a few games of DDR and then do a barre class. 

7:00 PM - Rinse off and make the last of the buffalo chicken sandwiches. We’re very excited for groceries tomorrow hah.

9:30 PM - Buy a phone tripod. I suck at doing videos one-handed and I know I can grow my pages like bananas if I can actually shoot the content correctly. I apply the gift card my boss got me for building her website so this is on the house. 

DAY FIFTY-THREE TOTAL: $62.93

DAY FIFTY-FOUR

7:00 PM - Long ass day. Groceries are slated to arrive. Incoming of bell peppers, tomatoes, grapes, tofu, cucumber, broccoli, red onion, limes, lemons, bananas, jalapenos, serranos, clementines, bread, chickpeas, tortilla chips, tortillas, sprouts, potatoes, baby carrots, onions, salsa, cauliflower rice, cilantro, gf mini pretzels, apples, hashbrowns, oat milk, cheese, vegan cheese, brown rice, white rice, gf pasta, spring mix, romaine, tomato paste, dark chocolate, red wine and balsamic vinegar, pineapple, scallions, oregano, shallots, mushrooms, orzo, kale, chipotle peppers, eggs, brown sugar, burger buns, corn, parsley, veggie straws, vanilla bean, asparagus, snap peas, a pound of coffee, plant sausage, plant yogurt, zucchini, radish, cabbage, seltzer, plant yogurt, pasta sauce, plant pizza, jelly, and mustard. $350.86

8:00 PM - Eat red lentil pasta for dinner.

DAY FIFTY-FOUR TOTAL: $350.86

DAY FIFTY-FIVE

1:00 PM - Done with meetings for the day. My brain hurts. Hah make salad (bbq chicken, spring mix, carrots, bell pepper, onion, corn, tomatoes, cucumbers, and ranch is the combo for the week), drink seltzer, tryyyy to calm down. 

3:40 PM - Actually hoping no one bothers me for the rest of the day. Change into workout clothes and sneak in my last barre class for the challenge. 

6:00 PM - Get charged for CBS all access. Craving a cocktail instead of wine. Pick some grapefruits from the backyard, text J to ask how to salt a rim, then make a grapefruit + mezcal drink with a chili-lime salted rim. YUM.  $6.48

7:00 PM - Veggie sandwiches with potatoes is the name of dinner for the next few days. So good!

DAY FIFTY-FIVE TOTAL: $6.48

DAY FIFTY-SIX

8:30 AM - Make a chemex and “get to work.” Today is super slow. I finish the last of my outstanding tasks, make 2 batches of chex mix which I regret because K says he won’t be eating any since he’s trying to avoid salt. Snack on that and then make salad for lunch.

1:30 PM - Literally no one has pinged me so I take the opportunity to play some DDR. I play for nearly an hour before anyone bothers me and nail down the steps to this one section of Afronova at ⅕ the speed. I’ll try ⅖ tomorrow! 

5:30 PM - K and I are both starving so I make us dinner early today. Drink a grapefruit + mezcal cocktail after din.

8:30 PM - K asks if I’ll walk to the lake with him and the dog. I kind of don’t want to since I played my heart out already but he asks pleeeassse and I oblige. The walk is really really nice. We even sit near the waterfront for a while watching people do this cheesy skate routine. 

10:30 PM - Make it back. I work on my blog in K’s office while he edits video stuff. I have The Challenge on in the background and finish Fresh Meat II. Only 11 more seasons before I can cancel my membership! Hah.

DAY FIFTY-SIX TOTAL: $0

[kazosa]

Secrets - SoA: Chapter 10

Summary: Reader has lived in a life full of secrets. When her father dies unexpectedly and sends her on a trip all over the country, she finds out just how much like her father she really is. The end of her trip brings her to Charming, CA where she finally gets some big pieces of her family puzzle put back in place and form new relationships with the people there. Chapter 10: Sunday morning. Unexpected request. Warnings: language, (implied smut, doesn’t really qualify, assumed sexytime) A/N: If it wasn’t clear before, this takes place after the events of the final episode, SPOILERS! Italics are for Chibs and his inner thoughts. Bold is for the reader’s inner thoughts. Word Count: 2300 Tags: @telford-ortiz-teller  @sam-samcro  @tstieff  @yourcroweater  @kacilove26  @hiddlelove  @evilsorceress  @reallynigga21  @suz-123  @between-shades-of-winchester  @caitcrook  @i-was-made-of-nutella @charlottecl  @gunsnrosesislife

If your name is struck through I can’t tag you, sorry!

IF YOU WISH TO BE TAGGED, PLEASE LET ME KNOW IN SOME WAY. ASK BOX IS SAFEST WAY, BUT I DO TRY TO LOOK AT ALL COMMENTS AND REBLOGS. COMMENTS WELCOME!

Secrets Masterlist

The next morning, you woke up to the sound of Chibs talking to you in Gaelic again. At least this time, he wasn’t yelling at anyone. You had no idea what he was saying but, whatever it was, it sounded sweet. He had his arms wrapped around you. You were his own personal body heater. If he were anyone else, it would have bothered you. You didn’t like people in your personal space, he was the only one you had ever let get this close to you so quickly, both literally and figuratively. Lying there listening to Chibs, you weren’t sure if he was awake, whispering sweet nothings to you or if he was just talking in his sleep.

“Mornin’, m’aingeal,” his voice rumbled in your neck, sending goosebumps down your side making you snuggle back into him.

“Morning, Filip,” you said, once the goosebumps settled. “What were you saying?”

“Hmm?” he mumbled giving your shoulder butterfly kisses.

“What were you saying before? It sounded nice,” you said.

He fidgeted behind you then tightened his hold around you.

“Ah, well…” he paused, “I said ‘Mo ghradh bithbhuan.’ It’s a sort of… pledge.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth either. The truth was, it was a pledge, what he hadn’t said was that it translated to, “My love forever.” He’d been alone a long time. Sure, there had been women here and there, Jarry was just a huge mistake, and they had all really, just been sex, and they were rarely still there in the morning, if ever. He’d always left Jarry after a few hours. Waking up with (Y|N), in the morning, and being happy about it, was a feeling he hadn’t had in a very long time. And he honestly couldn’t remember if he even felt that way with Fiona, that relationship had ended so long ago…

“Hmm,” she sounded like she didn’t believe him.

He laid there with her a few moments, just enjoying it while he could.

You picked up your phone to see what time it was and you couldn’t believe your eyes. It was almost 8 am and your internal clock hadn’t woken you up. For the first time in ten years, you’d slept in.

“Huh,” you muttered to yourself. Why now? Were you just that content with Filip?

“Wha’s a matta, love?” he whispered, already knowing the answer, nuzzling into your neck and shoulder.

You wiggled back into him, pulling his arms tighter.

“Not a thing,” you said.

Three things became very clear, right away. 1. It was very cold in the apartment. 2. You had zero clean clothes. 3. Filip either subsisted on condiments and coffee, or he rarely ate at home. There was barely enough food for when he’d made breakfast a few days ago. There was no real food in the apartment. Filip was still lying in bed, only half awake while you stuffed your dirty clothes into a laundry bag.

He looked at her, through half-open eyes, wearing the SAMCRO t-shirt he’d given her to wear a few days ago. It barely covered that magnificent arse of hers. The woman had been blessed with a fine figure and he loved how she looked in his shirt. He watched her stuff clothes into the bag and he’d been given a perfect view.

“Filip,” he liked it when she called him by his given name, “I’m out of clean clothes.”

Pulling up the covers, he motioned for her to get back in bed.

“Come keep me warm,” he said.

The scar on her leg peeked out as she climbed back in his bed. It was a jagged cut that, thankfully, hadn’t gone too deep., but it still left a raised mark on her. He practically slept on her side of the bed with her now. To get in bed, all she had to do was roll in his direction to put her face to face with him. Her arm went around him as she moved in close. He dropped the blanket around her and his hand went to her hip.

“You seem pretty warm already,” she noticed, her hand rubbing his back.

“Aye,” he said. “Missed ya.” His hand made its way under her shirt. His fingers easily found the more raised scars on her back. She never complained about her back hurting her, though he was sure it did more than she let on.

“Are you always this sweet?” she closed her eyes and arched her back into him as he worked the muscles around the scars.

“Only for you,” he kissed her forehead.

Her hand left his back and she was looking up at him, a funny little look on her face.

“My god, you’re so handsome,” she said, her hand coming to rest on his cheek. Her fingertips tracing one of his scars, just as he had done with her.

He let out a scoff and tried to take her hand away.

“No,” she said, not budging. Her fingers went back to tracing. “It just adds to who you are. I love the way your eyes get more amber in color when you look at me like that…” she touched the crease of skin around his mouth, “You have the cutest dimples. I see YOU, Filip. I see all of you.”

He wasn’t sure he could speak without breaking down, so he didn’t, he showed her what she meant to him.

Filip had let you pick a shirt to wear and you found your cleanest pair of jeans to wear. There was a laundromat just down the street from Scoops that you and Filip had gone to. The first load of clothes was in the wash and Filip told you to stay with the clothes while he went to the diner on the corner to get you both breakfast.

You were sitting on an empty dryer and Filip had only been gone a few minutes when you heard the door open. Looking toward the door, you were expecting to see him strutting over to you. You were sorely disappointed.

Chibs liked the lady at the diner, but she always took forever and had to small talk. Honestly, there was nothing about him that could make someone think he was interested in small talk. He thought that he put off a strong vibe that he wanted anything but small talk. Still, Ella talked on and on while holding his bag of food. If it had been any other day, he might not have minded. Before (Y|N) came into his life, he might have stayed and eaten at the counter and let the lady blather on, but he needed to get back to (Y|N) while the food was still hot. It was more than that though, he had a bad feeling, like something was wrong. As soon as he walked out of the laundromat, he’d looked in at (Y|N) sitting on the washer, getting ready to open her laptop, he’d looked around the road and the other buildings but didn’t see anything out of place. Still, that feeling wouldn’t leave him.

Finally, Ella gave him is food containers and drinks and he was out the door walking back to the laundromat. As he got to the windows, he looked inside for (Y|N) and didn’t see her. He was concerned, the feeling that something was wrong came back, but maybe she was just in back using the restroom. He pulled open the door and went inside to where she had been sitting and put down the food on the next machine over. The washer was still running, her laptop was sitting open and running, but she wasn’t anywhere around. He looked through the whole building. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and dialed Scoops. Thankfully, Chuckie was there and answered almost right away.

“Chuckie, did (Y|N) come back to the store?” he didn’t even let him say hello.

“No, boss. She didn’t. She’s not with you?” he asked.

“No. Did you see anything?” he asked just as a thought popped into his head. “Did you see a cop car?”

“Well, now that you mention it, yeah, about 10 minutes ago. Took off kinda hot, too,” he said. “You don’t think she got picked up, do you?”

He sighed heavily, “Aye, either tha’ or she stole the cop car.”

“Would she do that?!” he asked.

Chibs didn’t answer. He didn’t think she would, but he wouldn’t have put it past her either. He looked at the computer. The screen was showing an email from her COO.

“Chuckie, see what you can find out and call me back,” he told him.

“You got it, boss,” he said and disconnected.

Chibs was pissed. This was Althea, it had to be. He’d only suspected she, or someone, was watching the store, now it was all but confirmed. The washer stopped running and he threw the clothes into the dryer while he thought things through. He could call Jack...or Debbie. Thinking of how she would react made him push aside that thought almost immediately, but if (Y|N) was in trouble, he should call her. Deciding to wait until he heard from Chuckie, there was nothing left to do but eat his breakfast while he waited.

Maybe ten minutes later, Chuckie called back and let him know that (Y|N) had been picked up by Sheriff Jarry and Deputy Eglee. He couldn’t get any more information than that out of the duty sergeant. He thanked him and ended the call. He wouldn’t be going anywhere until the dryer was done.

Jarry had you in an interrogation room. She’d left you sitting at the table with a bottle of water saying she needed to make a phone call before she could come back to talk to you. You’d waived her off, reminding yourself not to lose your temper INSIDE the sheriff’s station. That was what she wanted you to do. If she decided to charge you with anything, it meant you’d be stuck in a cell for the next two days. Poor Filip, he probably thought you’d taken off. He was a clever guy, you were confident he’d figure it out.

Ten minutes later, Jarry finally came back. With her, she carried a large file folder. Dropping it on the metal table, it made a loud banging sound as the contents went spreading out in front of you.

“Jesus, lady, this isn’t the movies. You don’t need the drama tactics,” you muttered and your stomach growled. Missing breakfast was not your most favorite thing in the world. Being hungry and rousted from the laundromat had put you in a foul and bold mood.  “Is there a point to all of this? Are you going to charge me with something?”

“Whether or not I charge you with something is entirely dependent on you Miss (Y|L|N),” there was that smug cop tone again. “Can you account for your whereabouts last night between the hours of 11 and 3am?”

You wanted to flip her off, but you kept yourself under control. You’d seen the deputy cars parked just down the road from Scoops. The clubhouse had a perfect view of the street for a block and a half in either direction and after the incident with Happy the night of the party, you’d needed to see for yourself. The cars were unmarked, though you knew a cop car anywhere, plus the butts on the ground had been a dead give-away.

“Why don’t you ask the people you had watching Scoops? I’m sure they could tell you,” you said quietly.

Jarry paced around the room. She looked pissed. Of course, it could just be her broken nose and her arm that was in a sling, you assumed to keep her from hurting her ribs or arm. You’d messed her up more than you thought you had. You gave her credit for suiting up and working again. As you watched her pace you noticed that she looked like she was wrestling with something internally. Finally making a decision, she spoke to you.

“There have been a rash of car thefts in the area in the last week. More than ten. Consorting with a known felon,” she flashed a quick look at you, “with multiple suspected car thefts in your past, it seemed like a good idea to bring you in for questioning.”

It pissed you off to no end that she had taken the time to call in to your hometown court and police to see what the detectives and court documents had to say. First, she had stopped you and Happy, probably to find out your name. Then she had investigated you further for some bullshit reason that was really just an excuse to check you out. Though the file folder contents did have you intrigued. You could see a picture of the front end of a 1970 Chevy Nova sticking out. If this wasn’t a fake case, the cars being stolen were intriguing.

“What is all of this?” you asked pushing the pile of pictures and papers back into some semblance of order.

She pointed her spindly finger at the file, “That is a record of all of the thefts in the last week and all of the reports and evidence brought. There’s even a few arrest records for probables.”

Well now, this just got interesting. What is Jarry getting at?

“And what do you want me to do with this? Do you want me to look at it, tell you it was me?” you thought maybe you knew what she was doing.

Jarry’s voice went up in volume, “I want you to look at the goddamned file and tell me who is behind this!” Jarry spun on her heel and paced more franticly like it physically upset her.

“YOU want ME to HELP YOU?!”

[skittykittie]

Kaiyuan to Jianshui

July 30, 2015 (written on the day)

My alarm went off at 7. I actually was able to make myself get up and make it down stairs for group breakfast... but it was only me, Jessica, and Sophie. Little by little, everyone else was getting too lazy to get up early to eat. Our hotel didn't provide breakfast, so the three of us got the task of finding a decent local place to find something to eat.

Luckily, Jessica was able to spot the entrance to a local farmer’s market not too far from our hotel. We walked across the street (through crazy traffic) through a small gap between the strip of stores and businesses. I couldn't tell from the outside, but the entrance led into a huge farmer's market. They had set up all behind the strip of buildings. There was plenty of fresh and hot food as well as vegetable and meat stands.

These were definitely where the locals came. We passed by a lot of people on bikes with baskets of their fruits they had picked. There were families that were shopping for the day's ingredients. We walked around a bit until Sophie found a rice noodle shop she liked. She ordered from there, and Jessica and I got some steamed buns for ourselves and the rest of the group. It was so cheap! Only 1 yuan (about 15 cents) for one bun, and they were big buns!

When we got back, it was time for our morning routine of putting all of our stuff into Dr. D's room, transferring all of our equipment for the work day downstairs, and checking out of our rooms.

It was a nice morning so I decided to walked the short distance to the hospital with FangQi, Jess, Zhangrui, Landy, and Sophie. The streets were much more alive than the evening previous. I'm starting to get the impression that these smaller Chinese towns really like the "the early bird catches the worm" saying.

Once at the hospital, we were warmly met and welcomed by the hospital staff, most of which we had met the night before. At the entrance of the building was an rolling banner of LED lights that read, "Kaiyuan welcomes the China California Heart Watch!" Wow. These people really knew how to impress.

The meeting with the head director and co was equally as impressive. We were brought to a large conference room with a huge table that was able to accommodate our whole team of 10 and their staff, who I didn't count. We were served tea in glasses, instead of plastic cups. They also introduced themselves one by one, making us do the same. There was applause after every person was introduced. Their head director spoke before we started our proposal and conditions for work, and it seemed as if he had memorized and pre-rehearsed it. Maybe he was just very articulate? I'm not sure, but it was pretty professional. Lastly, at the end, they had the typical photo taking with Dr. D and the directors, but they had them take it in front of another room where there was already big screen with a fancy background set up.

Kaiyuan really, really, knew how to welcome us.

We separated into our clinic and training groups. Clinic was set up on the pediatrics and OB/GYN floor. I don't actually remember how many patients we saw that day. Maybe 7 or 8? Half of our patients were infants, less than a few months old, making our job fairly simple. A lot of them didn't have much of a problem, some were just follow ups.

There was one family in particular that stood out to me that day. It was an 11 year old girl who came in with her parents. I could tell by her father's extremely dark skin and over worked hands and her mother's traditional outfit, that she was from a very poor family. As we interviewed them, Sophie and I realized they didn't speak Mandarin well. We had to get one of the other doctors to interpret for us. They had traveled hours from their small village to come into town to have her examined. They were also of an ethnic minority group, which explained why they spoke a different dialect of Chinese.

The reason this girl really stood out to me was because they were so extremely poor (well, most of our patients are) and she was very sick. We found several heart issues on her that were operable. With the funds and resources ChinaCal has, we were able to help arrange to send them to Kunming and accommodate her for surgery. They were worried because they had never been to Kunming and would most likely get lost, they were also worried about having to take time off work, but Shanshan and the other doctors helped work out a plan for them to get her the help she needed.

It is cases like this that make me remember why we are here and my motivation for coming in the first place. She is a prime example of what good all the donations went to. Many of the kids we see don't usually have anything direly serious wrong with them. Our purpose is to find and help the unfortunate few that do. I was extremely happy to see them get what they needed for their little girl. Without this organization, I don't think she would have ever even been seen for her issues.

Sophie and I finished well before 12 pm (our designated lunch hour), so we opted to go get a tour of the maternity ward. Similar to the NICU in Mile, we had to dress up in the whole gown attire. Unfortunately, this woman we toured with didn't realize I didn't speak Mandarin well. Sophie and I also didn't get a chance to really tell her, either, because she kept talking... and talking... But it was kind of cool to at least walk around. The ward was empty (thank Jesus), so there wasn't really anything for us to see besides the rooms and a little bit of equipment.

We hung out a bit longer, finding things to watch in the ultrasound room and the hallway. Pretty soon we went to lunch. Lunch was almost exactly like the day before, welcoming staff, lots of pre prepared food, and toasting. Most of us chose not to drink wine this time, though, including myself. My redness gets embarrassing.

When we got back, we had only one or two more patients to do an ultrasound examination on. The last child was one of those that was so afraid of the doctor's, he'd cry just by entering the room. He was really cute though, a little 2 year old boy. He had been so fussy before lunch that we told the family to go out, get him really tired, and come back after lunch. They came back and he was less fussy, his dad was carrying a large toy truck that was still new in the box. It was a cute attempt to try to calm him down, but he didn't care for it once we got him in the examination room. Poor kid.

I actually had to help with this one, he was so bad. He kind of reminded me of how I used to be with needles. We finally were able to get him to lay still and stop crying by playing a few episodes of Tom and Jerry that Jessica had on her iPad. It was like magic. He was mesmerized by the cartoon. His mom was also there next to him narrating the whole thing to him. It was adorable.

Once we were finished, we packed up and then... nothing. It was only about 2 when we finished. The training team had finished, too. We had 2 hours to kill while waiting for our car that would bring us to the next city at 4. I spent my time working on blogs out on this nice patio they had and watching the baby yoga and swim session.

What? Baby yoga swimming?! What's that you ask?

Probably one of the cutest things I've ever seen. It's an out patient service where parents bring in their babies to be given a thorough bath and let them swim around. Babies obviously can't swim, so what they do is put a round floaty right under their chin and around their necks. Then, the nurses have a huge sink of water, and let the babies float in there. It's seriously the funniest and cutest thing I had seen all trip. The babies are literally just floating heads. A lot of them really enjoyed it, they were kicking and swimming around, one even fell asleep. After their designated swimming time (maybe 15 or 20 minutes) the nurses would come over and give them a good washing. The entire team was so fascinated by this whole procedure. We stood at the viewing window taking pictures, video, and coo-ing over how funny they all looked.

Car came right on schedule at 4 pm to pick us up at the entrance of the hospital. I was confused at first because on the outside, it was just an ambulance van. But then the door slid open and I saw that it had been remodeled on the inside. There were enough seats for all of us, plus two extra! We were amazing able to fit every person and every one in that one van. It was also the most comfortable ride thus far. We each had individual seats, AC, cushioned with SEATBELTS (something that is not often seen in public transportation, let alone used at all in China).

This ride, I was less tired than before. I was actually awake for half of it, but that also could have been because the road was extremely bumpy at times. The road was very wound around the mountains, as well, causing me to get constantly bumped against the side of the van. Nonetheless, I was awake and able to watch the scenery. It was beautiful. We were finally IN the mountains, not just driving through them or by them. There were several turns where one wrong slip of the tire would mean us tumbling down a cliff.

We arrived at our next city Jianshui, our 5th city of the week, and it was only Thursday. We weren't greeted with a parade like Kaiyuan, but the hotel was extremely nice, the nicest so far. We had a western toilet (a valued commodity for Donna and I), a shower that was closed in (most showers just pour out onto the ground and everything gets all wet), a coffee table and a couch, breakfast was included in our stay... the only bad part was the wifi. It was terrible. I had to go out into the lobby to actually be able to use it at all.

Oh well, you win some, you lose some. We were staying there over the weekend, so I was extremely happy about that.

Around 7:30 we went out for dinner. We had to walk a bit to find a Muslim restaurant for Zhangrui's sake, but I'm so glad we did. We ended up at a place that had HOT POT. Even though it was the middle of summer, it was SO GOOD to have some real hot pot. I ate to the fullest I've felt all trip. I can't describe to you how amazing that place was. A group of people actually went back the next day for dinner again haha.

When we got back, our stomachs stuffed, Donna decided it was time to do laundry... by hand. She had brought soap to wash some clothes in the sink. Everyone in our group did it that way, too. My dad had told me to find a place with laundry service, but honestly, I couldn't find anything that said they had laundry service. The only place that had was my 5 star hotel in Kunming, and they charged, like, $2 per SOCK. Shirts and pants were even more.

Nope. I was going with Donna's plan.

We were going to be there over the weekend, so we'd have plenty of time to make sure our clothes dried. They had plenty of rails and a laundry wire where we both hung our clothes to dry. I also felt very safe and clean at this hotel, so I washed everything I could. It surprisingly did a pretty good job. Some of the water I washed in actually turned dark because of the dirt I was getting out.

After I finished that and showered, we got ready for bed and our last work day before our first "free" day!

[happynowidiot-blog-blog]

Weekend #1, 2012

My flight out of Chicago sat on the runway for over an hour waiting for it’s turn with the de-icer. Luckily, we made up time in the air and I only landed an hour late. This was perfect as Massimo’s flight from LA landed at the same time. Penny met him before they headed to my terminal to get me. I topped up my phone while I was waiting and then sat on top on my suitcases until they got there. I was wearing jeans and my black hipster boots with my new green wool military coat. I also dyed my hair red the night before I flew out. I saw them before they saw me and stood up to meet them. Penny hugged me as Massimo commented, “Nice red.” After I hugged him he said, “You look like a communist.” Penny fell over laughing and I groaned in despair. I’d made the comment earlier that week that I’d noticed that particular coat/boot combo made me look like Simon. Apparently the red hair doesn’t help. Of course it doesn’t. Thank god I didn’t decide to go blonder.

Massimo went home while Penny and I (unsuccessfully) attempted to move back into my room. The school lost my keys. Of course they did. I left my suitcases in my flat and packed a bag for the night. We went to Wagamama for lunch where I discovered just how dehydrated and starving I was, a side effect of refusing to eat airplane food. We went back to the flat where I showered and had a cup of tea making me feel one hundred percent more human. Penny was beyond excited to finally be able to introduce me to Cougar Town so we started a marathon. Massimo was jet lagged as fuck and I was having a hilarious conversation with him on FB. Jet lagged!Massimo is my new favorite Massimo. He was literally falling asleep at the computer and had lost the ability to type in English. He passed out at around 6 PM, despite our warnings that he was going to hate himself for it.  I had to make coffee in an attempt to stay awake myself. We ordered pizza for dinner as Penny whined about the plans she was making with that Scottish guy Ryan who was in London for the night. Eventually we started getting ready and had a few glasses of wine while we helped Pen’s sister pick out an outfit over Skype. As we headed out we stopped to say hi to Nathan. His boyfriend Alex was over as well as their friend Simon so we chatted with them a bit before we left with an invitation after they got home from their night in Soho.

It was early and dead when we got to Big Chill. It doesn’t normally get busy there until about 11:30 and we’d gotten there before 11 even. The guy on the door was new and carded us which I couldn’t quite believe. I haven’t been carded there in almost a year. We told Tof when we found him later and he laughed really hard. Arturo smiled and high fived us over the bar when we walked up. Sherlock said hello and then later announced that he was engaged to Vi. Penny thinks he was kidding (Arturo reacted weirdly when he said it), I’m less sure. Either way it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night. Dawid was upstairs (I’d been talking to him on his break and he said he was up there with Rob) so we headed up there to say hi. There was a private party going on and we once again didn’t know the guy on the door. It was early enough that we could still drink outside so we hopped the rope on the terrace and snuck in through the side door. Dawid looked excited to see us and walked around the bar to give us hugs. Rob was no where to be found and I forgot to ask if he was around. We went back downstairs before the bouncer could yell at us (or try to kick us out which would be kind of funny to watch). There was fairly slim pickings in terms of randoms and I was too tired to really make an effort. The Sherlock thing had put me in a weird mood and neither Simon or Rob were in so I was just generally a bit down. That, and the fact that I’d only brought enough cash out for one drink so I remained fairly sober.

There was this attractive guy in hipster glasses that Penny had decided she wanted to have in her phone as “Hipster Glasses”, an admirable mission if I say so myself. We were dancing as the dj that night was particularly good and him and his friends were next to us on the dance floor. At one point he leaned over to me and asked if we were English. I said no, we’re American. I asked him where he was from and he said Sydney. I’m pretty sure I literally said “Of course, you are” and introduced him to Penny. I was talking to his friend, a cute lawyer from London who was clearly annoyed with his friend and was jumping on the grenade for him. Eventually he wandered off and I told Penny I’d see her later. I walked away and then realised that she had my phone. I walked back and they were already making out. I tapped my fingers on Pen’s arm and she gave me my phone back. I wandered around until I found Maggie standing by coat check. We’d run into him in the stairwell earlier and he’d hugged us hello and talked about the trip back to Sweden he’d just been on. He wasn’t working so his hair was pulled back tight and he was wearing this gray cowl neck shirt. Weirdly, he actually seemed to be pulling it off. We’ve decided he’s not allowed to be out his work clothes with his hair like that as he suddenly was some degree of attractive. It’s like when Atilla cuts his hair and is less than beard-y. It’s just not good. I talked to Maggie for a bit until I noticed that the guy getting his stuff from coat check was Hipster Glasses. I checked my phone and Penny was waiting for me in the bathroom.

We hung around a bit longer before heading home around 1:30 or 2 AM. We said our goodbyes to the bartenders that could get away as the bar had gotten busy and headed home. I was tired and my mom had said something guys not liking redheads so I was feeling a bit low and unattractive. We got home and ate the leftover pizza and watched a few more episodes of Cougar Town. Myles’s relationship status on FB had changed so I messaged him and we talked for a bit while I attempted not to kill him while he discussed how he’s not used to people being attracted to him. When we finally went to bed, Penny came and laid next to me in my bed so we could have “Penny and Brittany’s Pillow Talk” before I passed out. I needed that to sort of shake me out of my funk.

The next day involved a useless trip back to Kensington after sleeping in and having breakfast with even more episodes of Cougar Town. We’d decided to go to this movie night thing at Big Chill that night so after I straightened my hair and Penny got ready we walked down there. Sherlock and Dawid were setting up the projector upstairs when we got there so we set our stuff down on the first table and they left us to watch Superbad by ourselves. Penny ran downstairs and ordered us food and glasses of wine. She’d forgotten the wine so Dawid brought it up but not before shouting as he entered the room so we both jumped and then making fun of us for liking the movie as he left. He was very chatty all night. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him talk to so much. I went downstairs later to get us more wine and chatted to Sherlock for a bit. He’d finally noticed my hair and went, “You’re ginger now.” He then asked if we’d made up with “the nice one” yet. Asshole. He then convinced me that Shahida had come in on Saturday and was talking shit about Penny. I, of course, came up in arms until he’d said that she’d called her “a pale bitch”. That wasn’t right. You could call Penny a lot of things. Pale is not one of them. I literally walked behind the bar and punched him before heading upstairs to finish the movie. Two guys eventually came and sat in the back of the room and watched about half of the movie with us. When it was over they’d already headed back downstairs.

We went to go walk downstairs as well and found Simon at the top of the staircase. He was wearing his red jeans with black boots and a gray jumper under his coat. The first thing I thought was “Oh god, I own that outfit.” The first thing he said was, “You’re hair looks nice” before hugging us both hello. He was in a very weird mod. Even his hugs were weird. They didn’t feel like his normal hugs. We chatted for a bit until it got a bit awkward (Simon just stopped engaging. It was weird.) and I said I was going to get another drink if he’d like to come hang out with us. He declined and walked outside. The weird thing about this is that Simon recently quit smoking. Sherlock decided to so he’s doing it with him. For some reason I’m opposed to this. Penny and I got another glass of wine and sat down at a table downstairs. We talked to Dawid for a while at the bar and a few minutes later he walked over to the table to continue an unbelievable boring story about this coffee shop he used to work at in Poland. Simon had come downstairs and was standing at the end of the bar looking moody. I picked up my glass of wine and went to talk to him. He was opening three sugar packets and I realised I smelled coffee. He was making espresso. It was after 10 PM by this point. The three sugars in the tiny cup was because he hates coffee. I decided not to question his logic and we talked for a bit but he seemed… distracted, almost? That’s the closest I’ve come to figuring out how he was acting but Penny doesn’t think that’s quite right. Eventually I ended the conversation and he said he’d see me later. I sat back down and watched as he downed the espresso and quickly left. He’d turned right out of the building which is weird considering the tube stations are to the left. The mystery deepens.

At one point, I got up to get a glass of water and Sherlock was kneeling behind the bar while the two guys who’d watched the movie stood in front of it. I leaned over and asked, “You okay down there, Sherly?” and he said yes before standing to ask the guys if they’d made a decision. They ordered the same again and the guy standing closest to me struck up a conversation. I invited them to join us and they followed me over to our table. Their names were Rick and Nick (seriously) and far too old for us. Still, we talked for a while for something to do. Rick is a custom’s officer (which caused both Penny and I to stop in our tracks and decide we need to be friends) and Nick is an investment banker. Rick switched back and forth between which of us he was interested in until finally sticking with Penny. They were nice and cute and I enjoyed talking to both of them. Eventually I joined Nick for a cigarette outside and Rick took that time to get Penny’s number (even if he did feel creepy asking because of his age). We went home soon after that and Penny mentioned that Nick had a girlfriend. I could’ve screamed. I saw him pull back at some point but didn’t really worry about it. That would explain why he’d stopped flirting later in the night. Something in his brain flicked on and he remembered he couldn’t do that. It also explained why he hadn’t asked for my number. Ah well. You win some, you lose some.

At one point he was talking about being an Arsenal fan and I couldn’t help but sneer at him a bit. He asked who I supported and I declined, knowing that it would very well end the conversation. He looked at me, smirked, and said, “You’re a Liverpool fan.” I had no words. He said he knew a girl from Chicago and she was a Liverpool fan. He figured it was a regional thing. I let him roll with it. It’s better than explaining how a group of boys from Dubai and a few people I follow on Tumblr converted me. I still can’t believe he called it. The funny thing is that if he was wrong he would’ve probably offended the hell out of me.

[historywhore2-0]

Weekend #1, 2012

My flight out of Chicago sat on the runway for over an hour waiting for it's turn with the de-icer. Luckily, we made up time in the air and I only landed an hour late. This was perfect as Massimo's flight from LA landed at the same time. Penny met him before they headed to my terminal to get me. I topped up my phone while I was waiting and then sat on top on my suitcases until they got there. I was wearing jeans and my black hipster boots with my new green wool military coat. I also dyed my hair red the night before I flew out. I saw them before they saw me and stood up to meet them. Penny hugged me as Massimo commented, "Nice red." After I hugged him he said, "You look like a communist." Penny fell over laughing and I groaned in despair. I'd made the comment earlier that week that I'd noticed that particular coat/boot combo made me look like Simon. Apparently the red hair doesn't help. Of course it doesn't. Thank god I didn't decide to go blonder.

Massimo went home while Penny and I (unsuccessfully) attempted to move back into my room. The school lost my keys. Of course they did. I left my suitcases in my flat and packed a bag for the night. We went to Wagamama for lunch where I discovered just how dehydrated and starving I was, a side effect of refusing to eat airplane food. We went back to the flat where I showered and had a cup of tea making me feel one hundred percent more human. Penny was beyond excited to finally be able to introduce me to Cougar Town so we started a marathon. Massimo was jet lagged as fuck and I was having a hilarious conversation with him on FB. Jet lagged!Massimo is my new favorite Massimo. He was literally falling asleep at the computer and had lost the ability to type in English. He passed out at around 6 PM, despite our warnings that he was going to hate himself for it.  I had to make coffee in an attempt to stay awake myself. We ordered pizza for dinner as Penny whined about the plans she was making with that Scottish guy Ryan who was in London for the night. Eventually we started getting ready and had a few glasses of wine while we helped Pen's sister pick out an outfit over Skype. As we headed out we stopped to say hi to Nathan. His boyfriend Alex was over as well as their friend Simon so we chatted with them a bit before we left with an invitation after they got home from their night in Soho.

It was early and dead when we got to Big Chill. It doesn't normally get busy there until about 11:30 and we'd gotten there before 11 even. The guy on the door was new and carded us which I couldn't quite believe. I haven't been carded there in almost a year. We told Tof when we found him later and he laughed really hard. Arturo smiled and high fived us over the bar when we walked up. Sherlock said hello and then later announced that he was engaged to Vi. Penny thinks he was kidding (Arturo reacted weirdly when he said it), I'm less sure. Either way it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night. Dawid was upstairs (I'd been talking to him on his break and he said he was up there with Rob) so we headed up there to say hi. There was a private party going on and we once again didn't know the guy on the door. It was early enough that we could still drink outside so we hopped the rope on the terrace and snuck in through the side door. Dawid looked excited to see us and walked around the bar to give us hugs. Rob was no where to be found and I forgot to ask if he was around. We went back downstairs before the bouncer could yell at us (or try to kick us out which would be kind of funny to watch). There was fairly slim pickings in terms of randoms and I was too tired to really make an effort. The Sherlock thing had put me in a weird mood and neither Simon or Rob were in so I was just generally a bit down. That, and the fact that I'd only brought enough cash out for one drink so I remained fairly sober. 

There was this attractive guy in hipster glasses that Penny had decided she wanted to have in her phone as "Hipster Glasses", an admirable mission if I say so myself. We were dancing as the dj that night was particularly good and him and his friends were next to us on the dance floor. At one point he leaned over to me and asked if we were English. I said no, we're American. I asked him where he was from and he said Sydney. I'm pretty sure I literally said "Of course, you are" and introduced him to Penny. I was talking to his friend, a cute lawyer from London who was clearly annoyed with his friend and was jumping on the grenade for him. Eventually he wandered off and I told Penny I'd see her later. I walked away and then realised that she had my phone. I walked back and they were already making out. I tapped my fingers on Pen's arm and she gave me my phone back. I wandered around until I found Maggie standing by coat check. We'd run into him in the stairwell earlier and he'd hugged us hello and talked about the trip back to Sweden he'd just been on. He wasn't working so his hair was pulled back tight and he was wearing this gray cowl neck shirt. Weirdly, he actually seemed to be pulling it off. We've decided he's not allowed to be out his work clothes with his hair like that as he suddenly was some degree of attractive. It's like when Atilla cuts his hair and is less than beard-y. It's just not good. I talked to Maggie for a bit until I noticed that the guy getting his stuff from coat check was Hipster Glasses. I checked my phone and Penny was waiting for me in the bathroom.

We hung around a bit longer before heading home around 1:30 or 2 AM. We said our goodbyes to the bartenders that could get away as the bar had gotten busy and headed home. I was tired and my mom had said something guys not liking redheads so I was feeling a bit low and unattractive. We got home and ate the leftover pizza and watched a few more episodes of Cougar Town. Myles's relationship status on FB had changed so I messaged him and we talked for a bit while I attempted not to kill him while he discussed how he's not used to people being attracted to him. When we finally went to bed, Penny came and laid next to me in my bed so we could have "Penny and Brittany's Pillow Talk" before I passed out. I needed that to sort of shake me out of my funk.

The next day involved a useless trip back to Kensington after sleeping in and having breakfast with even more episodes of Cougar Town. We'd decided to go to this movie night thing at Big Chill that night so after I straightened my hair and Penny got ready we walked down there. Sherlock and Dawid were setting up the projector upstairs when we got there so we set our stuff down on the first table and they left us to watch Superbad by ourselves. Penny ran downstairs and ordered us food and glasses of wine. She'd forgotten the wine so Dawid brought it up but not before shouting as he entered the room so we both jumped and then making fun of us for liking the movie as he left. He was very chatty all night. I don't think I've ever heard him talk to so much. I went downstairs later to get us more wine and chatted to Sherlock for a bit. He'd finally noticed my hair and went, "You're ginger now." He then asked if we'd made up with "the nice one" yet. Asshole. He then convinced me that Shahida had come in on Saturday and was talking shit about Penny. I, of course, came up in arms until he'd said that she'd called her "a pale bitch". That wasn't right. You could call Penny a lot of things. Pale is not one of them. I literally walked behind the bar and punched him before heading upstairs to finish the movie. Two guys eventually came and sat in the back of the room and watched about half of the movie with us. When it was over they'd already headed back downstairs.

We went to go walk downstairs as well and found Simon at the top of the staircase. He was wearing his red jeans with black boots and a gray jumper under his coat. The first thing I thought was "Oh god, I own that outfit." The first thing he said was, "You're hair looks nice" before hugging us both hello. He was in a very weird mod. Even his hugs were weird. They didn't feel like his normal hugs. We chatted for a bit until it got a bit awkward (Simon just stopped engaging. It was weird.) and I said I was going to get another drink if he'd like to come hang out with us. He declined and walked outside. The weird thing about this is that Simon recently quit smoking. Sherlock decided to so he's doing it with him. For some reason I'm opposed to this. Penny and I got another glass of wine and sat down at a table downstairs. We talked to Dawid for a while at the bar and a few minutes later he walked over to the table to continue an unbelievable boring story about this coffee shop he used to work at in Poland. Simon had come downstairs and was standing at the end of the bar looking moody. I picked up my glass of wine and went to talk to him. He was opening three sugar packets and I realised I smelled coffee. He was making espresso. It was after 10 PM by this point. The three sugars in the tiny cup was because he hates coffee. I decided not to question his logic and we talked for a bit but he seemed... distracted, almost? That's the closest I've come to figuring out how he was acting but Penny doesn't think that's quite right. Eventually I ended the conversation and he said he'd see me later. I sat back down and watched as he downed the espresso and quickly left. He'd turned right out of the building which is weird considering the tube stations are to the left. The mystery deepens.

At one point, I got up to get a glass of water and Sherlock was kneeling behind the bar while the two guys who'd watched the movie stood in front of it. I leaned over and asked, "You okay down there, Sherly?" and he said yes before standing to ask the guys if they'd made a decision. They ordered the same again and the guy standing closest to me struck up a conversation. I invited them to join us and they followed me over to our table. Their names were Rick and Nick (seriously) and far too old for us. Still, we talked for a while for something to do. Rick is a custom's officer (which caused both Penny and I to stop in our tracks and decide we need to be friends) and Nick is an investment banker. Rick switched back and forth between which of us he was interested in until finally sticking with Penny. They were nice and cute and I enjoyed talking to both of them. Eventually I joined Nick for a cigarette outside and Rick took that time to get Penny's number (even if he did feel creepy asking because of his age). We went home soon after that and Penny mentioned that Nick had a girlfriend. I could've screamed. I saw him pull back at some point but didn't really worry about it. That would explain why he'd stopped flirting later in the night. Something in his brain flicked on and he remembered he couldn't do that. It also explained why he hadn't asked for my number. Ah well. You win some, you lose some.

At one point he was talking about being an Arsenal fan and I couldn't help but sneer at him a bit. He asked who I supported and I declined, knowing that it would very well end the conversation. He looked at me, smirked, and said, "You're a Liverpool fan." I had no words. He said he knew a girl from Chicago and she was a Liverpool fan. He figured it was a regional thing. I let him roll with it. It's better than explaining how a group of boys from Dubai and a few people I follow on Tumblr converted me. I still can't believe he called it. The funny thing is that if he was wrong he would've probably offended the hell out of me.