#as “oh they must be a Bad Person” rather than “I have a societal bias that is affecting my perception”

[the-descolada]

love to see post after post about how obvious it is that trans women are being held to an impossible double standard on this site and how obviously related to broader transmisogyny that is directly after being treated like shit and abandoned (and then betrayed in a vile fucking way!) by someone who I thought would be a lifelong friend justified by a conflict they started that existed primarily in their own head in sheer projection and I was blamed for without even knowing what was happening, whose idea of conflict "resolution" was jumping directly to verbal abuse and sanctioning the friendship instead of communicating at literally any point that it mattered and utterly refused to give me any benefit of the doubt for yknow. having human reactions to what was practically emotional abuse and not being a Perfect Angel, and that just serving as further justification to start unpersoning me, when it was so clear nobody else in their life was being treated in such a black and white way. it's so fucking galling man

many people can talk Real Big about how trans women getting banned is bad but will immediately find self justified reasons to participate in whisper networks, or even start them themselves, or, in this case, reach out to someone who did to buddy up and find that justification to chase a sense of moral purity, because they can't be wrong, so this has to be the exception and the transfem in question is Evil Actually. almost every single trans woman I know has a or several stories like this, and it's why seeing these cauterizations from a social network stings and terrifies.

[perspective-series]

Pet Perspective (11/19)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Degrading roles, moral quandaries galore

First Chapter || Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

————————————————————————————–

 Patton grinned as he set Logan down on his desk. “So! What did you want to do? Because I’ve got games, we could watch a movie or maybe just talk?” Patton listed out.

“I don’t have a particular preference.” Logan assured him. “I am willing to participate in most activities but now that I have the capacity to do so I intend on informing you when an experience becomes unpleasant.”

 Patton nodded. “Sounds good! I think a movie would be good then, just to wind down from all that sun and sugar.” Patton chuckled and opened his laptop to pick out a movie on netflix. “Are you okay here, or do you wanna move to my bed? It might be more comfortable to lay down and watch it.”

“I’m comfortable here.” Logan answered.

 “Okay!” Patton said and then looked through the movies. He hummed until he came across one he had seen before but figured Logan might enjoy watching. He pressed play on it and leaned back. “This is a good one.” Patton commented with a grin.

“What is it?” Logan raised an eyebrow.

 “It’s kind of similar to the first one we watched yesterday. But different, of course.” Patton chuckled. “Just watch, it’s starting!” Patton turned his attention back to it.

 As the movie progressed, it was clear that, just like the first movie, this was also had a pet borrower in it.

“I did not understand the first film, just as I do not understand this.” Logan looked somewhere between confused or unsettled. “Why do they feel the compulsory need to drag their borrowers along? No one wants to witness all of this courting.”

 Patton shrugged. “Well, that’s what people do with their pets. They don’t want to leave them alone, so they bring them along.” He explained.

“That seems impractical, as well as demeaning.” Logan huffed. “And on the human side of the plot, it’s unrealistic. They only knew each other for a short amount of time before confessing their love and beginning an arduous journey.”

 Patton chuckled. “Heh, yeah, a lot of movies do that. There’s only so much you can put in two and a half hours, after all.” He paused, glancing down at Logan. “And why would that be demeaning? Wouldn’t you want to be included on a trip instead of stuck at home by yourself?”

“It depends on the venture; I would much rather be left to my own devices than dragged along as an accessory for a romantic getaway.” Logan clarified.

 “I...guess I see your point.” Patton said before turning back to the movie. As it turned out, the borrower had a bigger role to play as he was tasked with delivering the wedding ring to the girl. “Oh, see! There was a reason the borrower came along!”

“Even from a cinematic point that doesn’t make sense.” Logan furrowed his brow. “They made no indication that this would be vital to their relationship- why are they highlighting it? It’s just an excuse to have the borrower in the background for the rest of the film. Not to mention, a ring of that size would be far more strenuous to carry. It’s clearly a fake.”

 “It’s romantic?” Patton said, though unsure. “And really?” It didn’t seem like it would be that heavy.

“Do you see the amount of gemstones on that ring?” Logan pointed to the screen. “And you must account for that weight of the band itself as well. Besides, the action isn’t ‘romantic’ if the borrower is not an important part of the romance itself.”

 “I mean...he’s their pet. People do that with pets all the time since they consider them part of their family and all. I’ve seen a ton of movie where dogs gave the ring. It’s not...uncommon.” Patton explained.

“It may be a common action, but that doesn’t ensure that it’s moral or practical.” Logan argued. “Is it truly acceptable if the borrower is uncomfortable or in pain?”

 Patton’s eyes widened. “N-No! Of course not...but wouldn’t the borrowers have said something then?”

“I imagine they would, but humans seldom listen.” Logan explained. “It’s why I was collared in the first place. And again, in this particular instance, I believe the act is merely staged.”

 Patton looked down, fidgeting with the sleeves of his cat hoodie. “You didn’t deserve to be shock collared.”

“That is a correct statement.” Logan agreed. “It was a violation of my basic rights and a restriction of my free speech, although there are no legal consequences for such unethical actions to my knowledge.”

 No, no there wasn’t. Patton paused the movie, turning to Logan. “Logan...do borrowers like being pets?”

Logan frowned, surprised by the question. “No, I hardly think anyone would enjoy this demeaning treatment.”

 Patton deflated and looked down. “And...I’m guessing that includes you as well?”

Logan was more confused. “Of course, it would only be natural that I would draw my conclusions from personal experience. I’ve lived my seventeen years completely in entrapment, either of a cruel or neutral nature. A borrower existence is not particularly pleasant.”

 Patton felt tears prick the corners of his eyes. “W-We were always taught...that borrowers needed to be looked after. That they liked being pets...I never thought twice about it…” How could he not have?

Now Logan was downright startled, with no knowledge of how to possibly approach this situation. It was a clearly ridiculous belief, but Logan worried if he stated such he might send Patton further into this worrying spiral. “Why are you crying?”

 “B-Because…” Logan’s question only caused him to cry more. “I...I should have realized sooner. We-We all should have! I don’t...you aren’t…” Patton could barely get any words out as he wiped at his eyes. Was the world really so cruel that it had convinced so many people that this was okay. Even...even him.

“Patton, what are you attempting to communicate?” Logan pressed.

 Patton’s heart beat rapidly inside his chest as he lowered his hands and stared openly at Logan. “You’re...You’re a person.” And saying it out loud, something he really should have known all along, caused him to cry again.

Logan’s eyes darted around, desperate for a way out of this uncomfortable situation. “Given your reaction, I assume this is a new revelation then?”

 Patton nodded. “I know...that’s so bad! I...I should have realized...from the beginning.” He met Logan’s eyes. “I’m...I’m so sorry, Logan.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Logan felt exasperated. “And was it not obvious from my identical anatomy, ability to speak and rational thought?”

 “It...should have been, huh?” Patton continued to wipe his eyes, slowly calming himself down. “I’m apologizing...because yeah, I should have realized it sooner. Like...forever ago. But I...didn’t. And a part of me wants to blame the world but...it’s also on me too, isn’t it?” He sniffed.

“Perhaps; it’s a complex issue of societal norms and personal bias- I’m sorry, what exactly does this mean?” Logan asked. “I understand and appreciate your delayed epiphany that I’m hardly different from a human being, but how does this affect this relationship going forward?”

 Patton blinked, that was a good question. “Well...what do you want? Like, truly want. If...If that’s letting you go and living free then...I’ll let you go. Because you deserve to make your own decisions now.”

Logan blinked. That was… a lot of pressure. Logan had never even considered what he wanted for his future, knowing it was not his choice to make; rather, Logan was content to fight his battles moment to moment. 

“I...would not know the first thing about survival if I were released.” Logan admitted, slowly remembering his conversation with Roman earlier.

 “Oh...right, I guess you wouldn’t, growing up in captivity huh?” Patton bit his lip. “You could...stay with me?”

“Up until now I had assumed that was the default.” Logan scuffed his shoe against the desk. Was that what he wanted? It wasn’t terrible here, but Logan had never been given such a choice before. He had no idea what options were available.

 “You don’t have to! This is your decision after all and you don’t have to answer now but if you do stay...I promise to not treat you like a pet anymore.” Patton promised, putting his hands over his heart.

The complete 180 change baffled Logan. “I honestly do not know what I want… but I was content to stay here before your revelation, and my position on the matter has not changed.”

 Patton nodded. “Okay...Just let me know if you ever change your mind. And! Feel free to speak your mind. Whenever. Don’t think of yourself as a pet anymore but like a...a roommate!” Patton exclaimed with a grin.

“A roommate.” Logan tried out the term. It was certainly odd- the only arrangement like that Logan could have pictured prior was if Patton got a second borrower and had them share an enclosure.

 “Yeah! It’ll be fun! And I...I won’t lock the enclosure anymore. It’ll just be your room. I could...I could even move it into the guest bedroom, if you wanted more privacy.” Patton suggested. He wanted Logan to feel as comfortable as possible.

“There’s a guest bedroom?” Logan seemed surprised by this knowledge. 

 “Yeah! We like to have it in case any family or friends come over. Although that rarely happens and we mostly use it for storage.” Patton laughed, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “But we can turn it into your room if you wanted!”

“I do not require that much space… the privacy might be intriguing but it would likely be most convenient to stay here, if I’m not intruding.” Once again, Logan was at a loss as to what to choose.

 “Of course you’re not. Like I said, it’s all up to you. I’d be happy to have you stay in here with me.” Patton grinned. In fact, he was happy Logan wanted to stay at all.

“This is… a lot to process.” Logan admitted. “Change can be overwhelming. For now, I think it would be most ideal to stick closely to the routine that was in development.”

 Patton slowly nodded. “Okay. I think we can do that.” He grinned. “Did you want to watch another movie?” Patton suggested. “One without borrowers acting as pets?”

“That would be acceptable.” Logan agreed. “Although preferably one with a more intriguing and believable plot.”

 Patton chuckled. “I...think I might know of one.” He searched netflix and chose Big Hero 6. He grinned and pressed play. 

------------------------------------------

 When Virgil got back from his second exam, he was ready to never go to school again and to stay in his room forever. The test had been hard and he was just happy it was over. He went up the stairs, hearing the sound coming from Patton’s room and smiling slightly at the tell signs of Big Hero 6. He rolled his eyes fondly before entering his room.

 “Roman, I’m back.” He said as he set his bag down by his desk. He looked into Roman’s enclosure. Frowning when he didn’t see any lights on. “Roman?” He pushed the button to unlock the house but instead, he heard the click of it locking. His eyes widened.

 He hadn’t locked it before he left.

 Worry coursed through him and he unlocked it again and opened the enclosure up. “Roman? Come on dude, where are you?” He looked in every room, even took a peek in the bathroom despite himself but there was no one there.

 Had...had Roman actually left. Even after he had promised? No...No, maybe Roman was just with Patton? Yeah, that had to be it! Patton must have come in and offered Roman a chance to get in on the movie marathon him and Logan planned on having. He’ll walk into Patton’s room and Roman will be there. Virgil was overreacting, as always.

 But when Virgil went into Patton’s room and looked around, the only borrower he saw was Logan. 

 “Kiddo?” Patton asked, gaining his attention. The movie had been paused and Patton was now focused on him, eyebrows furrowed. “What happened? Is something wrong?”

 “I…” Virgil ran a hand down his face. “I think...I think Roman is gone…”

 Patton blinked. “W-What?”

“Gone?” Logan furrowed his eyebrows. “Gone...where?”

 “I don’t know!” Virgil admitted. “I-I forgot to lock his enclosure but he had promised that he wouldn’t leave and now he could be anywhere and-”

 “Whoa! Kiddo, calm down.” Patton interrupted, standing up and placing a comforting and grounding hand on Virgil’s shoulder. “Maybe he just decided to take a walk around the house?”

 Virgil let out a deep breath. “Y-Yeah...maybe.” That could be it.

 Patton nodded. “We’ll help you look for him. Right, Logan?”

Logan paused, suddenly remembering the brief and confusing interaction he had with Roman earlier in the day.

“Do you want to get out of here? … You, me, freedom… we can live our own lives, away from all the humans…”

Logan felt conflicted. On the one hand, Roman was quite obnoxious and he didn’t owe Roman anything. On the other hand, Patton was beginning to prove himself trustworthy but he was still human. Should he tell Patton what he heard? But wasn’t it cruel to drag Roman back here if he wanted to go? Patton had been willing to release Logan, and just because he was incapable didn’t mean Roman was- in fact, Logan felt almost a bit hurt Roman hadn’t brought him along because Logan would have wanted to be a valuable ally.

 When Patton didn’t hear anything, he turned to look at Logan. “Logan?”

Logan jumped, realizing he had forgotten to answer. “I don’t see how I would be of much use.” Logan decided. “You two can certainly cover more ground than myself.”

 “True but you are the only one of us to be able to fit in places Roman would be able to fit in.” Patton said. Virgil, for his part, was bouncing back and forth on his feet. He was both impatient and panicking. 

 “I’m going to start looking.” Virgil announced and went back to his room to scope it out. Patton wanted to help but he turned back to Logan first to see what he would say.

“I can certainly investigate where you see fit.” Logan agreed hesitantly, feeling uncertain if he had a moral obligation to ‘out’ Roman should the borrower be found. “But I still see little to no point.”

 Patton smiled and held out his hand for Logan.

Logan climbed on, wondering why he felt such a pit of dread in his stomach. He hoped Roman would remain undiscovered so Logan wouldn’t have to make a decision.

 The three searched the entire house. When Virgil found no sign of Roman in his room, he scoped out the rest of the second floor, Patton sticking to the first. Logan helped a little with places like underneath the couch and behind the bookshelf but still, Roman wasn’t found. 

 It had been hours at this point. The sun was starting to set and Virgil paced back and forth, pulling at his hair in worry. “Where could he be?! We searched the whole house and he isn’t…” He wasn’t here.

 Patton frowned and looked around. “Do you think...he got outside?”

 Virgil snapped his head over to Patton. “I...well, I mean, if he isn’t in the house…” Where else could he have gone? Virgil’s heart fell as he realized Roman really did escape. Breaking his ‘promise’. 

 ...Could Virgil really blame him though?

 “Maybe he’s still near the house? We could look outside before it gets too dark?” Patton suggested and Virgil nodded numbly. He had a feeling Roman wouldn’t be found, though.

 They went to the front door and Virgil cupped his hands over his mouth. “Roman!”

“How will we spot him in the darkness if he does not want to be found?” Logan asked quietly.

 Patton bit his lip. Logan did have a point.

 But Virgil just shook his head. “No, we...we have to find him. It’s...it’s not safe out here.” There were a number of dangers, including other humans that could just up and pick Roman up and then Virgil really would never see him again.

 “Come on, we’ll use our phone flashlights.” Virgil said, already taking his out and crouching to search through the bushes. Patton sighed but took out his phone, and started searching too, still holding Logan in his free hand.

 Two more hours passed...and Roman hadn’t been found. The humans and borrower piled back into the house as night had fully taken over. Patton looked over at Virgil sadly as Virgil through his hair, pulling at it harshly.

 “Virgil-”

 “I just don’t understand. I thought we were getting along! Why would he...why would he just leave like that?” Virgil yelled, placing his head in his hands.

----------------------------------------------

Logan tensed, the raised human voice putting him on edge. “What… what gave you the indication you were getting along?”

-----------------------------------------

 Virgil glanced over at Logan. “We talked, he told me things about his past...and we had fun playing games...at least, I thought we were having fun.” But if Roman had still decided to escape then maybe it had all been an act. The thought made Virgil’s heart drop.

“And when did all that occur?” Logan asked, trying to piece together the timeline to see where his conversation this morning fell.

 “Last night was when we talked. Earlier today we were playing uno and talking a bit more.” Virgil revealed. “Which is why I’m so confused. Was Roman just...acting then?” Could he even believe anything Roman had told him? But...he had sounded so sincere.

 “I’m so sorry, kiddo.” Patton said, placing his free hand on Virgil’s arm.

Logan bit his lip, uncertain. It was clear Roman was an excellent actor, given the performance he would put on for the humans versus when they were alone. Not to mention, he had a habit of making some jest at Logan and then turning around and acting all innocent to cover up. Logan didn’t know what to believe about his fellow borrower. 

 “I think...I think we should head to bed. It’s getting late.” Patton suggested gently but Virgil still whirled around to him, eyes wide.

 “What? No! We have to keep looking!” Virgil tried to pull away but Patton held onto him.

 “Virgil, it’s already late. I hate it as much as you but there isn’t anything we can do. Not at this hour. Maybe in the morning you can call the shelter?” Patton said with a gentle smile. Virgil stared at him for a moment before deflating.

 “How do you even expect me to sleep?” He was still so worried.

 Patton winced. “I know but...please just try? You won’t find him if your exhausted.” 

 Patton, of course, had a point but that didn’t mean Virgil liked it any better. But he sighed and gave in. “Fine. But I’m getting up early.” Patton nodded. That was fine by him, as long as Virgil got a few hours of sleep.

 “Alright, goodnight Virgil.” Patton said, before heading up the stairs with Logan in hand. 

 Virgil thought about following him up but he glanced towards the living room he was in. It...was possible they could have missed a few places? Virgil took out his phone flashlight, silently apologized to Patton and proceeded to continue his search.

[raisingsupergirl]

I Didn't Vote

Yep, you heard it right. On 11/3/20, I didn't go anywhere near the polls. I woke up, went to work, went home, and went to bed. Sure, I'd had a long day, but I certainly had a chance to swing by and punch my ticket. I thought about doing it. From the time I woke up I thought about it. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it, and I didn't really know why. Even the next day I couldn't figure it out. And I've been mulling it over since then. I still don't have a satisfying reason, but at least I have a reason. Actually, I have several.

Okay, let's get this out of the way. My first reason for not voting is ignorance. No, not on the part of the political candidates, or social media, or you. I didn't vote because I'm ignorant. I know so little about the two old guys (and there was a woman, too, right? That third-party so-and-so?) fighting to "rule" our country. Here's what I do know… First, Trump: He's filthy rich. He owns some companies (honestly couldn't tell you which ones). He had a TV show (can't remember the name) and a tower. He has been our president for the past four years, and he did some things that veterans and conservatives like (I can't tell you with certainty even one thing that he's responsible for changing). He's a republican, but I think he used to be a democrat. I also think his wife's name is Ivanka, he has a daughter, and his VP is Mike Pence. Lastly, people either love him or hate him, which has only further divided our nation. He comes off at different times as a megalomaniac, a bully, and an idiot (though he may not be any of those things. Who knows?). He has no filter, he has Twitter, and he claims that everyone else is out to lie, steal, and cheat to make him look bad, which is ironic, because his ridiculous hair does that all on its own. And now on to the other guy.

I actually forget Joe Biden's name a lot. I want to call him Pence or Kerry or even McCain. Seriously, though that's not saying much. I'm horrible with names. But I also forget what he looks like. When I think about him, all I see is Jim Carrey. Oh! That must be why I tend to call him Kerry in my head. Silly me. Now… what about him? He's a lifetime politician, he's democrat, and he's really old. I know that much. And his running mate is a woman, I think. Seems like he's probably going to be our next president based on the Electoral College, but I couldn't tell you with confidence what that means. And that's about it. Honestly, I don't know anymore than that.

But why don't I know more? Am I dumb? Well… I don't think so. I received a master's degree over a decade ago (with honors, no less), and I like to think I've only grown smarter and wiser since then. I love learning new things—ideas, talents, how things work. But one of those things just isn't politics. So, the second reason I didn't vote is disinterest (I'm racking up quite a compelling argument, I know). I've written about how I don't have a passion for BLM even though I think it's a worthy cause. And I think the main reason is because it falls under the "politics" umbrella in my mind. Too many people with too many emotions and not enough listening. I just don't have the stomach for it. I would rather spend my one life changing the world one person at a time. I'd rather show love to my neighbor (as a Christian), fix someone's knee pain (as a physical therapist), and help other people get their ideas across clearer (as an editor). And, if I'm being honest, all of the doom saying just doesn't scare me. I'm a country boy at heart, and I have simple needs. My family is small, and I have a cabin in the woods. I was sad when Y2K didn't happen. I love individual people, but I'm not a big fan of society. In large groups, people are mean and naïve. And so, fear just doesn't enter into the equation for me. Life is so much bigger than what the marketing campaigns claim.

If you haven't caught on yet, I'm a bit of a skeptic. I don't know if I was born that way, but I became aware of it in college. I didn't particularly like my research classes, but I loved learning how to read scientific articles. Specifically, I love learning how to recognize BS (Biased Science, that is…). I have a knack for seeing through it in any situation. I can generally tell when people are lying, and even though I don't know everything, I do understand concepts, theories, and ideas better than the average person. And like Aristotle (and Plato), I'm keenly aware of my own ignorance as well as that of others. I see how people embrace sensationalized "fake news" and assume causality just because of correlation. Everyone does it. I do it. But I'm aware of it. I'm aware of social media algorithms, of herd mentality, of confirmation bias. And so, the third reason I didn't vote is because I assume everyone is either lying or buying into lies (lying and bullying are my two biggest pet peeves, by the way). And we've already established that I don't have the time or the energy (or the mental capacity) to learn the truth of every political topic and use those truths to set everyone straight. But hey, at least I'm honest…

Remember when I said earlier that fear didn't factor into the equation for me? Yeah, obviously that’s not true. I mean, sure, I'm not afraid of societal collapse or the end of the world. But I'm obviously afraid of being wrong. We've established that I don't know much about Trump or Kerr—er… Biden. That I'm ignorant about politics, in general. And we know that I'm a skeptic—that I have to come to my own conclusions. And most of the time that looks like stubbornness. I hate being told what to do. I hate being micromanaged. I hate the virus on my computer that sets Bing as my default search engine instead of Google. I hate the alarm on my wife's van that makes me wear my seat belt. And I hate the Facebook banners that keep telling me it's my duty to vote. I'm a grown boy. I can make those decisions all on my own. And I will not blindly trust a random source with dubious intentions to make those decisions for me. And, as much as I love my friends, I don't buy their claims that it's my duty to vote, either. Countless brave men and women did not die for my DUTY to vote. They died for my freedom to do so. Same as my freedom to be a Christian. Which means I'm also free to NOT vote.

But why wouldn't I WANT to vote? Because I'm afraid of whom I would have voted for. I'm aware of where I live and what my local culture thinks. In short, I voted for Trump last time, and I probably would have voted for him this time. And I couldn't stomach that thought (side note: I do have one regret, and that’s not voting local. I do know people personally who were running for office--as well as local bills--but I missed the opportunity to vote on things that I DO know about because of my fear of voting for the “wrong” president). It’s not that I doubted that Trump would do positive things while in office (even though, as I said, I'm not sure what he actually did the past four years…), but I'm just so tired of everybody acting insane. There's a reason I don't have cable. There's a reason I only get on social media to post pictures and check my notifications. And while I don't buy into all the sensationalism claiming the president has ultimate power, I do believe that he has a microphone. And a Twitter account. And even though our government is based on checks and balances, our media definitely isn't. If Biden is, in fact, our president for the next four years, my only hope is that he'll keep his mouth shut.

Okay, everyone's mad at me now. And that's okay. I put myself out there. I was honest about my ignorance, my bias, and my fear, which is more than I can say about most other people (presidents included). And maybe my honesty will compel others (you?) to reevaluate the "truths" they (you?) assume are self-evident. It's taken me four years, but I finally understand what "Make America Great Again" means. What would it take for our country to be great? Accountability. That's it. If every man, woman, and child did everything possible to give back to our country, we WOULD be great. If we worked hard to repair crumbling buildings, if we painted breathtaking murals, if we learned classical philosophy and used it shape our thoughts, if we refused to blame someone else for our unhappiness, if we did everything in our INDIVIDUAL power to contribute to the greater whole, if we truly loved our neighbors and gave them the shirt off of our back regardless of their political leanings… THAT would make us great. Right now, we're all so divided. We're all so afraid and easily manipulated. I've chosen to put my time and energy into things "smaller" than politics, but that doesn't mean I don't care about the future of my country. Quite the opposite, in fact. And hopefully, when I'm dead and gone, my tombstone won't read, "The guy who didn't vote in the 2020 presidential election."