#artists and math DON'T mix he's right

[thephooka]

Spent a bus ride yesterday reading a 1997 book by Gary Martin called The Art of Comic Book Inking that someone recced in the Cartoonist Co-Op server. I'm not the target audience for it (it's geared towards traditional inkers working in the print comics industry and is more for b&w comics imo) but it's an...interesting look into how the industry was back then. And by interesting, I mean bleak as fuck!

More below:

So I got curious and tried to find what the page rates for being an inker are like now, and had a look at this list of rates from Comic Book Resource, which are all self-reported by industry professionals.*

You'll notice 'inker' isn't even its own category here. The closest one is 'line artist' which is both pencils and inks, which for the sake of argument let's say is twice the amount of work as inking by itself. (It's not, pencils are harder, don't at me.) I took the average of rates from 2020-2022 for line artists and got $227/page, for both pencils and inks.

The very lowest rate of $100/pg in 1997 for JUST inking would be $190 today. If line artists do twice the work (again, an underestimate) by doing pencils too, that ought to translate to $380/page at the lowest end today. It doesn't somehow! Huh. Have a look through that rate list and you'll see rates even lower than $100/page in today's money (mostly from the usual suspects.)

Here's some more fun math:

Forget the $28k number above--he's including covers in this number, which pay differently. Say you do 22pgs/month at $100/page--that's $26,400 (1997)/$50,282 (today). Subtract a third for taxes** and your take-home amount would be $33,522 in today's money, which works out to a wage of $16/hr.***

At the high end of Martin's numbers, let's say 44 pages a month at $150/page for a total of $79,200, or $52,800 after taxes, and an hourly rate of $25/hr. Adjusted for inflation, that's $150,845 gross/$100,563 net/$48 hourly.

Average these numbers together, and the rates in today's money would be $67,042 net/$32 hourly.

Assuming line artists do twice the work, these numbers ought to be doubled, at $120k/yr or $64/hr.

But by the actual numbers we have, if a line artist works that same amount at the average rate of $227/page, that works out to $59,928 before taxes, $40,132 after, and an hourly wage of $19.

The kicker: the living wage in my metro area (same one Gary Martin lived in when he published this book, incidentally) is $21/hr, assuming no kids. Lol.

This is also assuming you can pencil AND ink at least 22 pages a month every month sustainably without destroying yourself, which is an EXTREMELY generous assumption. Also, no one gets health insurance working in comics, so take that into account with this shoulder-destroying pace.

I'm sure I'm mostly preaching to the choir here, and none of this information is really a surprise to me--oh comics is also a bad industry that doesn't page a living wage? shocker!--but it's interesting**** to actually be able to run the numbers on it to see how much, exactly, rates have stagnated. A lot, as it turns out!

Anyway, here's a little look into how comics pays, in case you're unfamiliar. It pays bad.

*this isn't even including companies like Webtoons and Tapas, who are fairly notorious at this point for underpaying and overworking creators. This is largely print publishing.

**the self-employment tax rate in the US is something like 15.1% and has been since at least 1990 but advice is usually to pay a third in quarterly taxes--easier to overpay and get it back at tax time than underpay and owe.

***based on 40hrs/wk, and I'm showing this number bc I think more people understand hourly wages than rates. I wouldn't include the amount for taxes in this bc if you're working an hourly wage you're probably not self-employed.

****LOUD SCREAMING

[deliciousangelfestival]

Curses from Ex-Boyfriend || Oneshot

Character: Artist!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Y/N navigates humorous breakups and manages an art gallery. A reunion with first love, Bucky, at an exhibition ignites a whimsical love story woven with unexpected enchantments.

Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi

Thank you to anyone who gave a like, reblog, and left a comment. It motivated me to write more. 

Y/N sunk into the barstool, her eyes telling tales of another failed relationship. Yolanda, the supportive friend, encouraged Y/N to share the latest misadventure in her love life.

Y/N sighed, "Okay, get this. The first one, Mike, broke up with me because he claimed my choice of pizza toppings was a reflection of our incompatibility. Apparently, pineapple lovers and non-pineapple lovers are destined to fail."

"Then there was Mark," Y/N continued, a smirk playing on her lips. "He couldn't stand the fact that I had a more extensive collection of pokemon than he did. He said it was a sign of divergent life goals."

Yolanda raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Tell me more."

"James, number three," Y/N chuckled, "Simple, he doesn't like dog."

"Alex was next in line," Y/N continued her tone a mix of disbelief and amusement. "He called it quits because he believed my excessive use of emojis in texts was a clear indication of a lack of emotional depth. Can you imagine?"

Yolanda laughed, "You can't be serious! What about the fifth one?"

Y/N sighed again, "Oh, Tom. He said my insistence on arranging our bookshelf by color instead of genre was a deal-breaker. Apparently, a good relationship requires organized literature. Can you believe these reasons?"

"Bucky was the longest, wasn't he?" Yolanda mused, a smile playing on her lips.

Y/N nodded, "Yeah, high school sweethearts, you know? We were the classic emo couple, complete with matching black outfits and moody music playlists."

Curiosity flickered in Yolanda's eyes, "So, why did you guys break up?"

Y/N chuckled, "Dead serious. Bucky was deep into it. I remember one day, he used a spell to try and cancel a math quiz."

Y/N grinned, "Oh, maybe because I'm over with emo and I think because Bucky got into magic, like, real magic. He bought this ancient-looking spell book at a flea market."

Yolanda's eyebrows shot up in disbelief, "Magic? Seriously?"

Yolanda burst into laughter, "Wait, what? A spell to cancel a quiz?"

Y/N nodded, "Yeah, he was convinced he could influence the universe with his newfound magical prowess. The thing is, our math teacher did cancel a quiz that week, but I later found out it was because he had a stomachache."

Yolanda's laughter faded into a look of realization, "Wait, are you saying Bucky's spell worked, or was it just a coincidence?"

Y/N shrugged, "Who knows? But I guess that was the beginning of the end. Bucky's magic phase and my inability to take his magical ambitions seriously eventually led to our breakup."

Yolanda winked, still teasing, "Maybe he enchanted you with a love spell, and that's why your relationships have been so... uniquely challenging."

Y/N rolled her eyes, feigning exasperation, "Please, if Bucky had any magical influence, it would've been to summon more black eyeliner or something."

Yolanda joined in the laughter, realizing the absurdity of her own suggestion. "I guess you're right. Love spells and high school relationships don't really go hand in hand."

As they clinked their glasses together, Y/N couldn't help but feel grateful for Yolanda's light-hearted humor.

Y/N groaned as she woke up with a slight headache, the remnants of the drinks from the previous night's escapade still lingering. Despite the throbbing in her head, she dragged herself to work at the prestigious art gallery where she served as the manager.

As Y/N settled into her office, her boss, the eccentric Madam Madeline, swept in with her fur jacket and oversized glasses, an aura of sophistication surrounding her. Madeline, always on the lookout for the next big thing, had an uncanny talent for discovering hidden gems in the art world.

With an air of excitement, Madeline announced, "Y/N, darling, I've found the next big artist during my travels around Europe. A true visionary! Prepare yourself; this is going to be huge for the gallery."

Y/N, still nursing her headache, tried to focus on Madeline's words. "Really? That's fantastic news. Who is this artist?"

Madeline beamed, "Oh, you'll see soon enough. I've arranged for the gallery to showcase their artwork. We need to get everything ready for the grand reveal. This could be a game-changer for us, my dear."

Despite the pounding in her head, Y/N felt a surge of adrenaline at the prospect of introducing a groundbreaking artist to the gallery's patrons. With a nod and a determined smile, she assured Madeline, "Consider it done. I'll make sure everything is prepared for the big showcase. This artist is going to leave a mark on the art world, and our gallery will be at the forefront."

As Madeline left the room, Y/N rubbed her temples, contemplating the exciting challenge ahead.

The day of the grand art exhibition arrived, and the gallery buzzed with anticipation. Y/N couldn't help but be excited about unveiling the mysterious artist's work. The moment Madam Madeline revealed the artwork, gasps of awe echoed through the gallery.

The paintings were truly impressive, capturing the essence of emotion and movement in each stroke. Yet, as Y/N studied the intricate lines, a sense of familiarity tugged at her. It was only when Madeline dramatically unveiled the artist's identity that Y/N's surprise reached its peak.

"Bucky?" Y/N muttered under her breath, disbelief washing over her. She couldn't reconcile the image of the once-emo high school boyfriend with the sophisticated artist standing before her.

Without the signature eyeliner and long hair covering half his face, Bucky had transformed into an entirely different person.

Madeline, reveling in the dramatic revelation, announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, the brilliant artist behind these captivating pieces is none other than Bucky!"

Y/N's eyes widened as Bucky approached her with a confident smile. "Hey, Y/N. Long time no see."

It took a moment for Y/N to process the situation. "Bucky? The Bucky from high school?"

He nodded, "The one and only. Surprised?"

Y/N couldn't help but laugh nervously, "More than you can imagine. I didn't know you had this side to you."

Bucky chuckled, "Life is full of surprises. Just like art."

As the reality of the situation sank in, Y/N couldn't help but marvel at the unexpected twist of fate.

Intrigued by the transformation in Bucky's life, Y/N couldn't help but ask, "Bucky, where have you been all these years?"

Bucky grinned, a twinkle in his eyes, "After high school, I decided to pursue art more seriously. I entered art school, but it turned out the formal education wasn't for me. So, I packed my bags and hit the road, traveling around the country to draw inspiration from different landscapes and cultures."

Y/N listened, captivated by the adventurous turn in Bucky's journey. "And then?" she prompted.

Bucky continued, "I found myself in Europe, sketching the beautiful landscapes and immersing myself in the art scene. That's where I crossed paths with Madeline. She saw something in my work, and the next thing I knew, I'm back home."

Y/N couldn't hide her amazement. "That's incredible, Bucky. I had no idea you were out there making a name for yourself in the art world."

Bucky smiled modestly, his eyes reflecting a mixture of pride and gratitude. "Yeah, life has a way of surprising you," he remarked. "Art became my language, and every stroke on the canvas felt like a piece of my soul. Little did I know it would lead me here."

As Y/N continued to admire Bucky's work, a comfortable silence settled between them, punctuated only by the soft background hum of the art gallery. The familiarity of their shared past mingled with the newfound understanding of the paths they had taken.

Bucky broke the silence, "You know, Y/N, seeing you again brings back a flood of memories. The art, the laughter, the quirky moments���some things never change."

Y/N smiled, "Indeed, some things don't. Life has a funny way of circling back, doesn't it?"

As Madeline enthusiastically dragged Bucky away to meet other attendees, Y/N found herself momentarily alone, surrounded by the captivating artwork.

Observing Bucky engage with the crowd, Y/N couldn't help but feel a sense of pride for the once-emo high school boyfriend who had evolved into a renowned artist. The whimsical nature of their teenage years seemed worlds apart from the sophisticated individual now navigating the art world.

Y/N strolled through the gallery, and she noticed a subtle but significant detail in each painting – a delicately drawn flower nestled somewhere within the vibrant strokes. The realization struck her like a soft breeze, and she couldn't help but smile. It was her favorite flower, a subtle signature Bucky had left in each masterpiece.

Bucky, engrossed in conversation with other attendees, glanced in Y/N's direction. Their eyes met, and in that fleeting moment, an unspoken understanding passed between them. Y/N felt a warmth spreading within her, realizing that the flowers in Bucky's art were more than just a visual motif.

The language of art spoke louder than words, and Y/N interpreted the message within those flowers in the quiet exchange of glances. It was a silent acknowledgment, a whispered confession that transcended the boundaries of time and distance. Bucky's subtle gesture conveyed, "I still think of you."

As the art gallery hummed with admiration for Bucky's creations, Y/N couldn't help but feel a connection rekindling.

After the event, the air crackled with anticipation as Y/N mustered the courage to approach Bucky. "Bucky, would you mind grabbing a coffee with me? It's been so long, and I'd really like to catch up," she said, her heart pounding with a mix of nerves and excitement.

Bucky, meeting her gaze with a warm smile, replied, "Absolutely, Y/N. I'd love that."

As they sat in the dimly lit cafe, the atmosphere seemed to thicken with unspoken emotions. Conversations veered into shared memories and life's twists and turns. Y/N couldn't shake the feeling that, perhaps, this was a crucial moment—a juncture where destiny hung in the balance.

Later, in the intimacy of Bucky's hotel room, he opened an old sketchbook. Pages turned with a whisper, revealing an old photo of Y/N. Intriguingly, on the adjacent page, a spell was inscribed—an enchantment woven into the fabric of their shared history. The room seemed to pulse with an energy that felt both familiar and intense.

Bucky's chuckle was dark and enigmatic as he muttered, "Damn, it works."

The revelation left Y/N completely unaware. Little did she know that the seemingly whimsical magic from their teenage years had woven a thread connecting their souls, guiding them back to each other after years of divergent paths. As they continued to share laughter and stories, the magic of the past lingered in the air, creating a subtle but powerful force that bound them together.

Author Note:

Hey friends,

If you've been enjoying the content, I've set up a Ko-fi account. Your support through tips would mean the world and help me keep creating. Only if you feel like it!

Here's the link: Ko-fi

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Hey everyone! 🌟 Your input means the world to me.

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@pigeonmama

If you've got any cool ideas or prompts, whether for this fluff series or any other series, feel free to share them with me!

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Can't wait to hear your awesome suggestions! 🚀💬

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Riz Gukgak Season 1 Playlist Breakdown

Yeah so I really quickly posted my Character playlists to get them out there asap but god I put sooooo much thought into them and I love them so much so I want to talk about each song so you can take a peek into my brain and see what the worms have been cooking. I'll make like a masterlist with links and stuff once I get more out but yeah this one's going first because I decided to go table order right to left.

For all my playlists I choose songs based on a bunch of criteria which is but is not limited to :

vibe

whether I think the character would like the song/artist

whether I can picture the song playing in the background

If the lyrics match up to a specific scene or feeling

if, when put together the general character arc can be reflected in the playlist

if the songs cohesively go together (i.e. similar vibes, genres, themes)

For Riz, the playlist consists of a mix of Alt Rock, 80s/90s, Math Rock, and Punk/Grunge. Here's the playlist if you haven't listened to it

Without further ado... Lets get into it

1. Happy to Hide, Pile of Love

Smiling between my teeth Acting up accordingly Why do I waste my time performing? I don't see the comedy you see In all the scenes involving me As if I wasn't dull and boring I'm happy to hide I'm happy to leave with no goodbye Would you believe me if I said I couldn't cry?

I wanted to start with the classic early 2000s "I'm a nerd in high school" movie song. I can picture this at the start of a movie starring Riz, where he gets to school and gives out his business cards, and it's Not Working, and he doesn't understand why. I also love the way that being "happy to hide" works with his rogue class :)

2. We Are Detectives, Thompson Twins

Someone is on our tail We think they're openin' up our mornin' mail (Whoa) And now each time the telephone rings We think of frightening things We are detective We are selective We are detective Come to collect

This song is so fun and so camp, very 80s alt, I think Riz would love it. I also think it kind of shows how while Riz is definitely extremely serious about the Missing Maiden Case, he is also playing out one of his biggest fantasies and is a high schooler snooping around corners.

3. Daysleeper, R.E.M.

I see today with a newsprint fray My night is colored headache gray Don't wake me with so much The ocean machine is set to nine I'll squeeze into heaven and Valentine My bed is pulling me, gravity Daysleeper

We love our insomniac little guy

4. Cops and Robbers, The Hoosiers

Got your revolution, now you're waging war again Marching on the spot when you should have made amends You say you fight for us, cross your heart and hope to die You're a bully in the playground and we'll hang you out to dry Blame Simon 'cause he said You've got two lives down and one life left Blame Simon 'cause he said You could think better with a hole in your head

Listening to The Hoosiers brings me back to my high school days. This song for me really gets at the change in tone that the "mystery" goes through, specifically with Riz and his relationship with Biz Glitterdew. The way the song kind of starts out as a fun kitchy romp and then devolves into a screeching violent swirl really shows how out of everyone, even though Riz was probably the closest with Biz at the start, he was definitly the one ready and willing to hold him violently accountable for his actions. Riz shows you how to deal with violent incels.

5. Big Sea, Crash Of Rhinos

We'll stand trial, our will won't be broken Your mistake is not that you care, it's that you don't notice Our favorite part is not how this ends It's just how its starts And just that it starts I'll paint you from my memory

I do think that Riz would absolutely love math rock and I do not mind going to jail for that opinion (because every guy that I've met that likes math rock has been proven to be not great - but I'm holding out). Either way, do you guys remember how they literally were in jail for months. Like Riz "son of a cop (at the time)" "The Ball" Gukgak spent several months in jail not being able to do anything but ruminate on the case, what he could have done differently, and what could be happening without them present. Yikes.

6. Black Dragon Fighting Society, My Chemical Romance

Yeah, I drink juice when I'm killing 'cause it's fucking delicious ... Switing out my style bring a friend out with Better grab your soul from the fingers of death I got a medical emergency A medical emergency We got a medical emergency A medical emergency (Mayday, they call the shots, yeah)

This is the type of song that you play during a full throttle drag out feral goblin fight, and its' the song that Riz deserves to end the season with, since he and his mom ate the fucking dragon that killed his dad. Hell yeah.

[noemilivv]

Hihi this is my first time doing a match up thingy so I hope I'm doing it right!!!

I don't have much of a gender preference but I usually lean towards male characters! I'm also non-binary fem presenting! :)

My personality can come off as extroverted but truth be told I have the WORST social anxiety (notice the anon? XD /lh) despite that- I love talking to people but at times I may come off as distant or even weird(in that case I'm probably dissociating /hj)

My style is sort of a mix between scene and casual but I would DIE to try some gothic lolita attire!

My love language is quality time and maybe acts of service! Gonna be honest, physical touch makes me super uncomfortable and I can't stand it- so spending time with someone is how I make up for that!

I'm an artist, writer and an aspiring musician! I also love to sing and dance, and make character designs! World building is also super fun. :) I'm super interested in all things creepy and cute! And cats!! They've been my special interest ever since I knew what one was!

I go by lots of names but I'll use Niko for this one! I don't feel very comfortable describing myself in too much detail, but I will note that I'm pretty short for my age and I got hazel (mostly green) eyes :D

Heres some other info! I'm good with animals, I have super sucky dyslexia(I have to use a screen reader sometimes :P), I'm absolutely horrible at math, I WILL beat you at uno, and I love plushies!!! I have probably over 20!

i was stuck between two haha, but here’s who i went with…

Husk !!

As much as he can’t entirely match it, you’re excitable energy is just the cutest thing to him haha, but he also doesn’t mind when you wanna stay lowkey for a hot sec (for obvious reasons)

Husk doesn’t really mind that physical touch isn’t your thing, cause well, he doesn’t mind it, but he can live without haha

In all he just loves taking care of you, you’re his light and he doesn’t want that light to ever flicker for whatever reason <3

[grazer-razor]

why god may not be speaking to you sometimes: a short story

not everyone believes they can hear from god. but even those that do sometimes struggle to hear from him. even when they quiet down their internal voices to listen, even when they have taken every precaution to make sure prayer time goes smoothly... when the time comes for god to talk, he just doesn't.

if you're like me, you may suspect that he's trying to withhold forbidden knowledge from you, even though you think you could handle such information. but what if i told you that, sometimes, that may not even BE the case? what if i told you that... well, let me just explain.

i am a digital artist that draws monster girls, and sometimes, i may reach a 100th milestone(examples include: 100th upload in general, 100th actual drawing, 100th original drawing, 100th monster girl drawing, ETC.). when that happens, i ask god what i should draw to commemorate the occasion. on past occasions, he's told me to draw a porcupine mermaid, a rat MG, a cat MG, and that same MG as a mermaid.

well, recently, the time came for my 100th original character design to be uploaded. so i decided to talk to god. but when i tried doing so, i didn't hear anything at all! to say that this was a letdown would be a massive understatement. in fact, as time went on, i began to worry that this would seriously cut into my art career, as i really didn't want ideas for my 100th commemoration drawings to be anywhere but from god.

but today, i decided to go through my art statistics, which keeps tabs on how many uploads/drawings/nonvariant drawings/MG's/original designs i've posted. and when i was going through my DA page, i saw something.

i realized that i forgot to put drawings of snickette and melodii on the original designs list in my stats, and there were a few other errors, as well, including an incorrect quantity on the wii subs item listed in one of the lists!

putting the math into the mix, i found out that the current original design count plummeted from 99 to 95!(which doesn't seem like that much, but when you really don't want to be in productive constipation, this is a rather big deal.)

to conclude my story, i'd like to say the moral of the story. the moral is, just because you're not hearing god doesn't mean he's trying to play the role of SCP foundation or something. maybe he's trying to keep you from seeing a green light for doing something that you may end up regretting. if you don't hear him right away, go on with your life. maybe you might see something that explains why he was holding back from responding!

well, that's my story. see ya!

[lovejustforaday]

2023 Year End List - #5

The Redshift Blues - Dispirited Spirits

Main genres: Art Rock, Progressive Rock, Midwest Emo

A decent sampling of: Space Rock, Post-Rock, Jazz Rock, Math Rock, Experimental Rock

Midwest Emo, and probably just Emo in general, really ain't usually my thing.

There's definitely some good and some great in nearly every scene, but I find this one in general to be saturated with overly indulgent projects that don't add up in the quality factor, and bands that just come off as harsh and grating. There's also a prominent few artists in this scene that give off the kind of Nice Guy™ energy that makes my skin crawl.

So if I'm completely being honest, I really just came across this record by chance, and decided to check it out almost purely because of the spectacularly awesome cover art and the equally awesome record title. To quote anime youtuber Hazel, that shit owns.

Dispirited Spirits is the moniker of Portuguese singer/songwriter/producer Indigo Dias, who was just 19 fricking years old when he made this record, and just typing that sentence out makes my head wanna explode. HOW??? HOOOOOOW???!?!?!?

What's even more, this is frigging fantastic by my own standards, and I'm not even someone who regularly enjoys a whole lot of Emo music. If there's any young newcomer who's gonna take the world of indie rock by storm, then it's gotta be this guy, right? If I was a betting man, I'd be putting my money on Dispirited Spirits.

Case in point, his latest project.

That is to say, The Redshift Blues is a stunning record that captures the awe and the angst of being that diminutive human being, bearing witness to the grandeur of the night sky which acts as the gateway to the unfathomably vast realm outside of our tiny little blue planet. Who needs expensive VR headsets to simulate floating freely through the endless sea of the cosmos, when you can just listen to this record, close your eyes, and get just about as close to the real deal as you're ever gonna have in your lifetime?

This album does a little bit of everything on the nerdier side of modern rock music - mostly a midwest emo/art rock/prog hybrid, with moments of post-rock, jazz-rock, and math rock all thrown in the mix. At the same time, this very much reinvents and kinda defies genre, clearly aiming to be its own singular thing.

Dias takes his lyrical inspiration from various astronomical phenomena on this record, the title itself being clever wordplay for the death of a relationship that invokes the universe's redshift or tendency towards expansion, causing objects to become more distant from each other over time. Some may find this dorky or try-hard or whatever, but I think the execution is mostly brilliant.

Anyhow, let's cut to the chase and hone in on my favourite tracks.

"Nine Clouds" swims through skies of glittering space dust, with gently gliding guitars that resonate in endless ripples through space and time. This track is impeccably cushiony; disorienting in the sense that it's as if I'm turning in random circles as the musical notes twist, soar, and plummet, but all the while I remain perfectly cradled in a bubble of warm nurturing light.

"Bring Down The Sky" is a journey through cosmological purgatory and back, with various trials of harsh emo power chords separated by periods of rest nestled between mellow psychedelic phaser pedals and flourishing harps. Also, kudos to whoever laid down the many different drum patterns on this track - really holds the whole thing together to give it some solid form and muscle.

"Methanol Fire" interpolates a samba-jazz beat into its hard-rocking midwest emo riffs, making it the grooviest and most rhythmic track on an otherwise sometimes very free-form record. Leisurely space jazz atmosphere interchanged with sad boys moshing in the nucleus of a supernova. These two major components blend together so seamlessly in a way I probably wouldn't have otherwise thought was possible.

The titular outro "The Redshift Blues" is hands down the real showstopper here, as well as the emotional lynchpin of the record. This ten minute opus is one part looming space ambience, one part post-rock epic poem, yet another part part solitary acoustic ballad, and one part cinematic orchestral elegy. The moment of that final line of the bridge where Dias utters "I'll find you in the stars" and everything comes forth in this really mind-blowing, unearthly harmonious sound swell - that moment just really gets to me. A simple instance of pure, raw, ephemeral beauty in the midst of a very chaotic composition.

There are a few sparring moments here or there where it meanders or overly indulges itself - mostly on "Saturnine Saturn Dreams" - But overall I'm mostly impressed at how much of this manages to come together in a way that comes off very natural. There's a lot of tight composition that's working over-time to make sure that this maintains its nearly amorphous structure.

So yeah, let me reiterate that I am mostly just mind-blown by this project. Dispirited Spirits is easily one of the most ambitious and unique artists in indie rock to have come onto the scene so far in this new-(ish) decade. The powerful cohesion of this project suggests that it came from an visionary who's far more seasoned than Indigo Dias would reasonably be at his young age.

The Redshift Blues brilliantly conveys the existential dread and angst that arises from existing in a world far larger than you could ever imagine, and how that impacts your ability to ever be fully in control of your life when there are so many external factors involved that are so much larger than you. Ultimately, it's a surrendering of the self to the inevitable impotence of being just one person, yet still the artist manages to find a shimmer of hope and humility in what is truly sublime about this world. That, I think, is the true Redshift Blues.

9/10

Highlights: "The Redshift Blues", "Nine Clouds", "Bring Down The Sky", "Methanol Fire"

[pastryleclerc]

📂

hello everyone! ✨️ below you will find the most important information about the author and the links to tagged games, etc. which will offer a little deeper view into the author's head (and life) 👀 if you wanna know more, you can always send me a dm or ask 🥰

name

i have a classic german name which i won't post publicly, but just call me anne or annie for short :)

age

at the time of writing this i am 21 years of age and i'll start my taylor swift year on december 12th 🎂

looks

i am a brunette girl with shoulder-length hair and green (and a hint of grey) eyes (side fact: i have the same eyecolor as charles leclerc and it's the rarest eye color), my height is 162cm or 5"3', i have three tattoos (bound to become more) and a lip piercing at the same place luke hemmings used to have his, i am absolutely not thin but i'm currently trying to loose weight 👩

job

i'm currently a trainee at our district administration in the system of the dual education (1-2 days of school per week and the rest in the office) with the intention to get my bachelor in public administration afterwards! 👩‍💼

places i've been to

the netherlands 🇳🇱, france 🇫🇷, italy 🇮🇹 and greece 🇬🇷 and - of course - germany 🇩🇪

interests

obviously f1 and football, but also: movies, tv shows, cooking, baking, singing (fun fact: i sing in our local choir), dancing, playing handball, playing tennis/badminton, hang out with my friends, going to parties/concerts/etc., travelling, reading, listening to music, swimming, riding the bike, inline skating, ice skating, talking about history (there's more that i can't think of right now but will definitly add) 💛

favorite movies/tv shows

movies: i will watch anything from marvel and dc, the golden age of barbie (aka the early 2000s-2010s movies), mamma mia 1 & 2, top gun 1 & 2, the m:i movies, dirty dancing, pretty woman, titanic, pearl harbor (judge me as much as you want i liked the movie), more that i currently can't think of - tv shows: hawaii five-0, gossip girl (og), pretty little liars, supernatural, desperate housewives (again, judge me as much as you want), bridgerton, more that i currently can't think of

football favorites

clubs: bvb and man city / players: basically all of the bvb squad, john stones, stefan ortega (my friend knows him lmao), christian pulisic, ben chilwell, cesar azpilicueta, kdb, erling haaland (there are probably more haha) ⚽️

motorsport favorites

charles leclerc, sebastian vettel (side fact: he's from the same state as i am), george russell, lando norris, oscar piastri, michael schumacher, daniel abt, nico hülkenberg - teams: ferrari (and mercedes, due to my family) 🏎

artists/genres i listen to often

first things first: i normally describe my taste in music as "everything i love" which is actually such a weird mix / artists: taylor swift, abba, katy perry, the weeknd, ariana grande, lana del rey, måneskin, dua lipa, 5sos, wet leg, wincent weiss, lady gaga - genres: musicals, indie, edm, house, pop 🎶

fun facts

we have a dog at home, my favorite animals are penguins, i have been to the first ever bvb vs. chelsea game, i've been to concerts of 5sos and wincent weiss, i like to build legos, i am an only child, i don't have a favorite season, there also isn't a color i don't like but i prefer beige pink and yellow, the glass is half full when you intentionally fill it up half way and half empty when you drink from it, my favorite quote is "even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise" from victor hugo's "les misérables", my english level is c2, my french level is b2, my spanish level is b1, i once had ancient greek in school, i hated the sciences (math, biology, science and physics), i'm bisexual ☀️

tagged games

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[tauremornalome]

30-something, i stand corrected! knew the math didnt check out somehow, i put him closer to justyna for some reason

yeah i don't necessarily like him as in "i would voluntarily spend time around this man" (though idk, id love to talk to him at least once), but conceptually he is a delight to me. he is a sad person, but enough of a prick that we don't necessarily think of him as being at a particularly low point in his life. like you said, he has just decided he is not good enough at what he dedicated most of his life to, and what orzeszkowa is trying to show, i think, is that he is just too heartless and indifferent towards the world at large, too self-obsessed, to make a good artist, but. idk. she also has her own artistic agenda :P he feels to me like a man who belongs to an entirely different era, which is fascinating. and orzeszkowa is of course making an observation about a type of person she sees in real life, right, so it's not like these people don't exist, it's just - you know. historical context, blah blah blah.

to me he is also somewhat, uh, endearingly? introspective. it's because of his egocentrism, yes, but he has done so much self-reflecting, thought so much about what makes him miserable, and he just can't see any solutions? or refuses to see them. the obvious solution would be getting some fucking therapy but he doesnt have access to that, does he so he is trapped in so many layers of Pathetic and he blames everything around him, and his mother is there, and he has extensively thought about the upbringing she gave him and knows which of his problems stem from it, but she didnt and doesnt understand... and klocia is there, and he doesn't love her, and he married her because she was the kind of person who suited the kind of person he thought he should become, and he is so so miserable and bored he thinks about pursuing justyna because it would be a change, but again it's because he is trying to Rationally? Come Up With A Solution and he just. thinks so much about what he should be feeling or would like to be feeling and what he'd like to be perceived as that he completely foregoes actually. feeling. emotions. his mbti is whichever letter stands for calculating-not-feeling times four

its just. idk man, his emotional problems captivated me. hes such a only child mama's boy and he knows he is miserable but will not claim any responsibility for it. god forbid he tries to better himself. did self-analysis but actively chooses to tolerate and to some extent even idealise his own flaws. someone pls shake this man and bonk him on the head with something heavy. incredible character to put into this nadniemeński mix, thank you eliza orzeszkowa <3

Am I going decrepit with old age, or did you once say that your favourite character from Lektury Szkolne is Zygmunt Korczyński? Because I've finally read the entirety of Nad Niemnem, and I have... following questions 👀

LMFAO i was just thinking about good ol zygmuś yesterday...... and rereading that answer i once gave you bc its like one of two posts about him on tunglr dot com...... it was ages ago, but i mostly stand by my opinion! my favourite boring "villain" problematic son who would have loved to live in the 21st century where he could discover entirely new ways of being an asshole whilst not being constantly scorned for his embarrassing political views. rip king you would have loved globalisation and cosmopolitanism (but like still kinda classist and capitalist).

i just think he is neat, and maybe i was reading too much into him but he is quite multidimensional imo. he is a cringe 20-something year old who still blames his mum for his character flaws, isnt that somewhat universally relatable? nad niemnem is full of inter-generational conflicts and conversations and i think his particular brand of frustration with his own and national past is very interesting

AND he has trapped himself and his wife in an awkward and loveless marriage. which is like one of my favourite tropes ever. 10000/10 obsessed with this guy

[trouble-in-space]

Hello! How are you doing? I’ve came here to ask you for two ships with a male character, one for HP universe and another for marvel universe. Im sorry for the long description, I hope you’re having a nice day <3

I’m a straight female, she/her

MBTI: estj

Ossp: choleric-sanguine.

Enneagram: 1w2

Sign: sun- libra

moon - libra

rising - pisces

Love language - acts of service and physical touch

My HP is Ravenclaw but i often consider myself a Slytherin as well…

Appearance: 5’3 tall, I have long light brown hair, it’s not really thick nor thin, it’s really in between, I have full eyebrows and hazel (brown and green) almond eyes. I wearing an accessory whether it is a earring, a bracelet, necklace… I love to dress up!

My favorite hobbies cooking and baking sweets and listening to music! I have a very broad music taste, i listen to everything! but my favorite artist is taylor swift especially the songs she wrote on evermore and red (taylor’s version). I play the ukulele and the piano, which i love. I also like to sing.

I hate any type of drama and needy people. i hate bothering others with my problems and I try to never victimize myself.

i tend to always help people with anything they need, i’m always smiling and trying to make my friends and family's day happier and lighter.

I often hear i am the “mom of the group” because I'm always advising and taking care of them. I always try to see the good i’m people and the bright side of the situation, I try to be a very optimistic person.

even tho i try to be easygoing and “sweeter”, i get irritated easily and i tend to be very sarcastic (i make a lot of snarky comments)

sometimes i feel people think i’m a goody two shoes, because i kinda give off that vibe. I care a lot about how a present myself, I am not one to break the rules, always do what is right, tries to control everything ... But once I am with my friends that vibe and concern about how i present myself goes away, I kinda relax and I guess i get more fun. In those times i get more goofy, and again, really sarcastic

I’m also a really observant person, like pay really close attention to what is happening in my surroundings. And I have a great memory

Random facts:

- not an emotional person, i don’t cry easily for example

- i’m a family oriented person, one of my biggest dreams is to have a big family.

- I love libraries and museums

- I love studying about new subjects

- I am brazilian, born and raised

- I love visiting new places, getting out of my house, even if i’m not going to do anything (like buying something or seeing someone) I love to go out!

- I am extremely good with numbers and math and stuff

- I love the rain and i LOVE CHRISTMAS

- I talk a lot with my hands, I move them a lot

Thanks for requesting hun!! I hope you like these and have a good day!<3

Harry Potter: Cedric! I absolutely love the pairing of Hufflepuffs with Slytherins, it's such a great dynamic. Cedric would get you some type of jewelry (ring or necklace) that either matches something of his or is sentimental. He'd like Taylor Swift maybe, but regardless he'd totally listen to her with you. He'd make sure you always come to him about anything no matter the topic, constantly reminding you that you're not a burden and he wants nothing more than to help you if you need him. No matter the situation or location he would be one of those people you could always be yourself around. I don't know why but I think he'd be kind of forgetful, so he always tells you important things so that someone can remind him. He loves rain. Hear me out, dates with Cedric by an open window in the Hufflepuff common room while it's raining outside. The fire would be going and he'd make you guys hot chocolate.

Marvel: I get Bucky vibes from you! First off, Libras and Pisces are a great mix for each other! (I'm a Libra sun too!!) I've always thought Bucky would enjoy cooking, so that's something you guys could do together. Because he's from the 20's/30's era he loves piano, so he'll always enjoy listening to you play. I see a lot of similarities between you guys as well. He also avoids drama and problematic situations because it's just not something he cares to be involved in, so he'll be thankful you're not that kind of person. He will understand your sarcasm and give the same energy back. He likes to be laidback but it's hard considering everything so I think you could help him chill out a little and just enjoy life a little more! Bucky LOVES museums. He's also trying to catch up on things he missed during the whole winter soldier thing, so he'll ask you to study with him and teach him things that he missed. I think acts of service would be one of his love languages as well!!

[heytherejulietx]

Haunted ~ Jughead Jones

Masterlists

Requests are OPEN

Notes - Hi so I’m seriously proud of this fic, and even though I feel like all of my Riverdale fics flop I’m super happy with this, so if you could reblog this and get it more reach that’s be amazing. (Also, on a note not related to this, I am working on the requests and I’m so sorry about the wait for them, but I was having trouble writing them so that’s why I wrote this fic. Sorry everyone they’re coming soon!)

Warnings - Pure angst and hurt. Be warned.

Word count - 5.6k.

Riverdale tag list - @idont-knowrn

If you’d like to be added to any tag list please just tell me!

You and I walk a fragile line

I have known it all this time

But I never thought I'd live to see it break

~

Everything changed when Jughead moved to the South Side. Of course, she couldn't blame him for moving, she knew he had to. With his dad behind bars for a murder he didn't even commit and not being able to stay at the Andrews household any longer, he didn't have a choice in moving. Living in his dad's trailer was better than staying with a foster family whom he didn't know, though living on opposite sides of town and now attending different schools meant they saw less and less of each other. And to be completely honest, Y/N missed him so much. She missed having him stay over at her house before school since her house wasn't far from Archie's. She missed waking up with him in the mornings, being greeted with lazy kisses and warm hugs. She missed sitting with him in class, helping him in math and getting his help in English literature. She missed after school dates at Pop's; sharing each other's milkshakes and helping him write his novel.

But once he'd moved, the cracks in their relationship started to appear. At first it was just missed phone calls and being left on read, though soon it developed to frequent arguments, being stood up on dates for the Serpents, and just not seeing each other much anymore. It hurt her, because she missed her once perfect boyfriend, who was now so caught up with his new school and his imprisoned father's gang to give any sort of time or attention to her. Maybe it was selfish, but Y/N wanted him to focus on her, and not anybody else, even if just for one night. She could tell that their relationship was headed downhill, though she thought that it would be fixable. They had been through so much already, surely this wouldn't break them apart, right?

~

It's getting dark and it's all too quiet

And I can't trust anything now

And it's comin' over you like it's all a big mistake

~

Y/N frowned down at the Pop's menu sat on the table in front of her, scowling at the small printed words there. This was the third time he'd missed one of their dates, or just forgotten about it all together. She was guessing it was the latter, as Jughead had been too wrapped up in the Serpents and with Toni Topaz to think of anything else. She was certain that he was getting bored of her, or tired of her company. He was hanging around with a gang now, his people, so surely his plain old north-side girlfriend was getting tiresome? She took a glance out of the window beside her seat, seeing that the sky was darkening into evening - dark oranges and blues swirled together as the sun went down like an artist mixing paint on a canvas. When she'd gotten to Pop's it was still daylight, but he had taken so long to show that now it was getting dark.

Before she knew it, disappointed tears were brimming in her eyes, and a lump was forming in her throat. Why couldn't he just spare a few hours to go and see her? At first, she had given him the time he quite clearly needed, and the benefit of the doubt. He had just moved and he was adjusting, and she got that, but now it had been weeks and there was still no effort put in from his end. It wasn't like he was even a proper member of the Serpents, so she just didn't get it. 

After another few minutes she had paid for the one milkshake she had drank and the one that had been left sitting on the table untouched, that was meant for Jughead, and then left the diner. It was cold outside, the kind of cold that seeped through your clothes and gave you goosebumps. Though she already felt the cold disappointment that had been sticking with her for weeks, now. On the colder days before Jughead had moved, he would give her his denim jacket as they walked to Pop's after school, but just the thought of that now made her want to start crying. She couldn't remember the last time she had been wrapped in his jacket, or even his arms for that matter.

Before she knew what she was doing, Y/N had pulled her phone out and called him, anger washing over her and replacing the sadness she felt. He picked up after six rings. Usually it would only take one.

"Y/N?" He asked, no 'love' or 'baby'. "Can I call you back later? I'm with the Serpents."

"Couldn't you have spared one night from the Serpents to show up to our date?" She scoffed, lifting her free hand to wipe her eyes which were now streaming with tears. 

"What?" Jughead asked, sounding confused. "We didn't have a date today."

"Yes we did." Y/N sniffled, her lip quivering when realising he'd forgotten. "This is the third one you've missed for Christ's sake, Jug. I shouldn't trust anything you even say, anymore."

"I'm sorry I've been busy." He huffed, sounding more irritated than anything.

"Yeah, you're always busy now." She swallowed back the lump forming in her throat. "Too busy to come and see your girlfriend anymore."

"Y/N, come on-" 

Before he could say anymore she cut the call off, not ready to hear it. Once her phone was back in her pocket she covered her mouth with her hands as she started crying, her chest heaving with each choked sob that passed her lips. Soon it hurt, though nothing hurt as bad as the sadness consuming her from realising he didn't love her like he used to.

~

Holding my breath, won't lose you again

Something's made your eyes go cold

~

It was almost midnight when Y/N heard the rumble of a motorbike turning into her street corner, before she heard the noise cut off right outside her house. It wasn't unusual for Jughead to come and see her after a fight, though it was unusual for them to fight so often. The most they had ever argued before the move was when his father had first been arrested, but she understood that he was just so stressed with everything that he was lashing out at people. Though this was different.

Y/N hadn't moved from her bed since she had gotten home. She hadn't even changed out of her clothes, she had just gotten into her bed and cried. She was still crying by the time she heard her window being pushed open further and someone stepping into her room. Y/N had the covers over her head so she couldn't see him approaching, though she felt the bed dip when he sat down beside her, and felt his hand rubbing her back through the covers. She sat up just enough to turn and move her arms around him, pressing her face into his chest as she started crying again, holding onto him tightly.

"I'm sorry." She heard him whisper into her hair as he wrapped his arms around her shaking body, which only made her cry harder. Did he really mean that? She couldn't be sure.

"Do- do you still love me?" Y/N couldn't help but ask through the tears, needing to know. It felt like he didn't, or that he was loving her less and less every day.

"Of course I still love you." Jughead sighed, his hand lifting to gently run his fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry I've been so distant lately, I've been busy sorting out stuff at South Side High and with the Serpents. I really didn't mean to forget about meeting up with you, okay?"

Y/N sniffled a little as she nodded, just holding onto him a little tighter. Whether she completely forgave him or not was a different question, though she was willing to give him another chance to prove that he really did mean what he said. 

"Hey." He said softly, moving his hand underneath her chin to tilt her head upwards. Her red-rimmed eyes locked with his and she watched his expression soften somewhat when he took in her features, though there was something about his eyes that made her stomach swirl with uneasiness. They were just so cold and unlike him. Maybe he didn't really mean what he had said.

~

Come on, come on don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Something's gone terribly wrong, you're all I wanted

Come on, come on don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Can't breathe whenever you're gone

Can't turn back, now I'm haunted

~

After that night, Jughead had promised to make it up to her and come and see her the following weekend at Pop's. And to be honest, she really needed it. Her week had gone absolutely horribly, with Betty suddenly becoming cold and distant towards her. Y/N couldn't fathom why Betty had become so cruel to her; she just knew that the last time herself and the Cooper girl had spoken, it had ended in a long string of insults from Betty then her walking off. So she could really do with her boyfriend's comfort, after her best friend clearly didn't want to be around her anymore.

Y/N sipped on her milkshake at Pop's as she waited for Jughead to show up, his drink sat untouched opposite her on the other side of the table. Once she had hit the ten minute mark she began to grow worried that he wasn't going to show, but thankfully she spotted him pulling into the parking lot of Pop's after she had heard the rumble of his motorcycle outside. A smile was painted over her lips as she waited for him to walk inside, though it quickly faded once she had caught sight of him.

His face was full of cuts and bruises, most of them looking extremely painful. At first she had been worried that he had been in a fight with somebody at his school, though her stomach sank when seeing the leather jacket he was wearing. The leather Serpents jacket.

He had clearly caught sight of her expression, as Jughead sighed as he slipped into the seat opposite her own. "Y/N, I meant to tell you-"

"That you'd joined the gang you told me you wouldn't?" She whispered, her eyebrows furrowed with disbelief. "Why would you do that? They're dangerous, Jug, they're a biker gang. Are you kidding me?"

"They aren't dangerous." He frowned. "They're like family."

"They're like family?" She scoffed. "Oh, and I'm not anymore?"

"Hey, I didn't say that." Jughead frowned a little more.

"Maybe you didn't say it, but you've been meaning it for weeks!" She practically exploded, sitting up in her seat as her waterline burned with the build up of tears again. "When was the last time we both properly hung out together, hm? Or ate dinner together? Or even spoke to each other without arguing?"

"I told you I've been busy, with-"

"With the Serpents, yeah I know." Y/N scoffed. "You never have time for me anymore, and that's all I'm asking for. I miss you, Jug. You could have at least told me that the reason you were too busy to spare a few hours for me is because you were joining a fucking gang."

"What is your issue with the Serpents?" He snapped defensively, making her flinch at the harshness of his voice.

"You said you wouldn't join them, you promised me, remember that?" She asked. "Oh, but maybe you don't, since you seem to be forgetting a lot recently." She huffed, lifting a hand to wipe away the tears that had started falling. "They are dangerous, Jughead, have you even looked in the mirror recently? If you had to do that to join then what else might you have to do now that you're involved?"

"Will you give it a rest?" Jughead snapped, causing her to flinch once more. "Like it or not, I'm a Serpent now, okay? And I'm sorry that since I have this thing called responsibilities now that I can't spend every minute of the day with you." 

"I didn't say that, Jug." She whispered, more tears falling. "I just miss you, we never see each other anymore and when we do it's... it's like you're a different person."

"Yeah? Well if I'm so different then why don't you just find yourself a new boyfriend, then. One that fits the criteria." Jughead scowled as he got out of his seat, shaking his head as he looked at her.

"Hey, wait." Y/N whispered, also getting out of her seat. "Don't go, Jug, I'm sorry." She whispered, reaching out to touch his arm.

Jughead was still frowning as he pulled away from her touch immediately, shaking his head as he just turned away and walked out of the diner, leaving her stood crying as she watched him leave.

~

Stood there and watched you walk away

From everything we had

But I still mean every word I said to you

~

Despite everything Jughead had said, they didn't break up. A few days later Jughead had stopped by her house to apologise, and for once it looked like he meant it. He had been close to tears himself as he ranted to her about everything, but mostly about how sorry he was and how he couldn't stand to lose her. By the end of the conversation she was crying too, and she had agreed to give him another chance. Maybe by this point she should have noticed just how many chances she had given him recently, and saved herself from any future hurt by breaking up with him, though she couldn't do it. She physically couldn't be without him, it pained her to even think about it.

Everything was good for a while. Betty had given her an explanation as to why she had been acting so funny, and definitely one she hadn't been expecting at that - as she had been getting phone calls from the Black Hood - the infamous serial killer who had taken up occupation in Riverdale over the past however many weeks. Whilst it was a complete and utter shock, she had immediately forgiven Betty, as she understood that she had become distant from Y/N so that the Black Hood wouldn't kill her. And things with Jughead had gotten better. Whilst he was still different to the soft and loving boy she had known before the move, he was clearly making an effort, and that mattered a lot to her.

Jughead had been especially better once his father was out of jail. It was a huge relief for everybody to have FP out, and whilst his return meant Jughead having to step up as Serpent King, Y/N was making an effort to try and understand the Serpents more, so she had been helping Jughead plan FP's retirement party in the Whyte Worm.

Though she had also been meeting up with Toni Topaz there, who was helping her learn the Serpent dance for her own initiation. 

Whilst she still wasn't too fond of the Serpents, she wanted to be there for Jughead to make sure he didn't end up getting hurt or imprisoned like his father, so she had agreed to do the extremely sexist 'Serpent dance' and partially join the gang to keep an eye on her boyfriend.

Even though she wanted to keep him safe, on the night of the party she felt horrible. On her way to the bar she felt nauseated at even just the thought of stripping into lingerie and dancing in front of a whole bar of gang members, but once she was there she felt even worse. The smell of alcohol once she had walked into the building was sickening, and it only made her worse. She was almost convinced enough to leave altogether, though once she saw her boyfriend approaching she knew there was no way of getting out of it now.

"Hey." He smiled once he had reached her, planting his hands at her waist as he leaned down to give her a kiss - thankfully the action helped calm her a little. "You look amazing."

The compliment made her blush a little, as she was only wearing a peach skirt and white blouse, though she couldn't help but wonder what he would be thinking later once she had revealed what she was dressed in underneath the good-girl outfit.

Soon the party was in full swing, and somehow she had managed to lose Jughead in the crowd, though she had managed to find Toni sat at the bar instead. Whilst she wasn't extremely fond of the Topaz girl, she was grateful that she had wanted to help her out with the dance.

"Hey north-sider." Toni greeted once she had sat at the bar, stood on the other side of it. "How're you feeling?"

"Like I'm about to throw up or pass out." Y/N told her, scanning the room for a moment before looking back at the pink-haired girl. "Give me something." She tapped the bar, hoping a drink would help. She didn't even drink - but Y/N was hoping that some alcohol would help calm her nerves.

"Are you sure?" Toni asked as she started pouring a liquor into a shot glass for her. "You don't exactly look like you can hold your drink."

"Please, I need some confidence right now, and if that means drinking to get some then so be it." She sighed.

"Alright then." Toni placed the glass on the bar in front of her, looking a little concerned.

Y/N lifted the glass and eyed the liquid for a moment before lifting it to her lips and knocking back the whole drink in one. It burned it's way down her throat and made her start to cough at the horrible feeling, though despite that she put the glass back on the bar and tapped it, signalling that she wanted another.

"Another?" Toni asked. "Are you sure? Maybe that's not the best idea."

"Please, Toni. I won't be able to do this completely sober." She sighed.

Toni just nodded and started to pour her another one, though as she did Y/N's attention was soon locked on the stage a little away from the bar, seeing Veronica and Archie stood there with the Karaoke machine that Y/N had managed to hire for the party earlier in the week. Tearing her gaze away she took the second shot pretty quickly. It still burned horribly on the way down, though she didn't start coughing again. By the time she had taken her third shot, Veronica and Archie had ran off of the stage mid-song, and Y/N had left the bar to quickly move onto the stage, once Toni had said that it was now or never.

Once she was up on the stage she had managed to meet Jughead's confused eyes in the sea of people, and somehow she didn't tear her gaze as she started singing the rest of the song as she unbuttoned her blouse. Y/N tried her best to look seductive and confident as she stripped herself of her clothes and started dancing, and the alcohol did help a lot with that. She was able to focus solely on the dancing as she moved over to the pole on the middle of the stage and spun around it twice, before lowering herself down onto the floor in front of it. The mass amount of people watching her didn't even phase her as she had moved back to the microphone to sing the last few notes of the song, though once she met Jughead's eyes again she felt her stomach sink with nausea. He had that same cold look in his eye again, the one that looked like he had lost all of his love for her.

After the dance was over Y/N had left with her clothes to change in the bathroom of the Wyrm, missing the speech that FP had started as afterwards she went to stand outside by Jughead's motorbike to cool off. It wasn't long before she spotted Jughead walking out of the back entrance of the bar to come and join her, his expression one she couldn't even read. She could just see that he was not happy, not at all.

"Hey," She said softly as he approached, though was met with no reply once he was stood in front of her. "What's wrong? Was it the dance?"

"It's everything." His voice broke as he shook his head. "And yeah. Why would you do that?"

"I wanted to be a part of this." She told him. "The Serpents, your world."

"Why?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he frowned at her. The expression made her uneasy, as it was one she was all too familiar with recently. "Archie knew to cut bait. Now I'm dragging you down. I'm dragging my dad down."

"He's still figuring it out." She told him softly, trying to muster up a genuine sympathetic smile. "And it's gonna be okay, we'll figure out whatever we have to do together." Y/N reached out to place her hands on his chest, though frowned when he had immediately stepped backwards.

"No, Y/N. Mm-Mm." He shook his head. "Not together."

The words struck her like he had just slapped her around the face. Her head tilted a little as a sudden coldness rushed over her body, nausea swirling around her stomach once again. Was he really about to break up with her?

"Y/N, if you stay, I don't know if I can protect you anymore. You might get-" Jughead paused as he ran a hand over his mouth, before planting both of them on her shoulders. "You probably will get hurt. I can't let that happen to you."

Y/N felt her waterline burning with a build up of tears as she stared back at him, starting to shake her head. "That's not your decision to make." She practically whispered.

"Actually, yeah it is." He stepped backwards as he spoke, the painful cold gaze returning to his eyes. 

"How many times, Jug?" Y/N asked as the tears started falling down her cheeks, her voice becoming wobbly with emotion. "How many times are we going to push each other away?" She gave a light push to his chest as she spoke, taking in a light breath as she tried to stop the tears. 

"Until it sticks." The harshness in his voice just made more tears fall as her expression crumpled. "This was my dad's one chance at going straight, and I wrecked it. I'm not going to destroy you, too." He moved to turn and walk away, though Y/N started following instead.

"Just tell me what happened, Jug." Her voice broke as she moved to grab his jacket and turn him around, tears cascading down her face faster as she reached up to cup his face in her hands. "Tell me."

"Please," His voice was weak, and she could see that he was holding back tears, too. "Go home."

Jughead stared at her for another moment before pulling away from her hold, and turning away to walk back into the bar. Y/N couldn't stop the oncoming wave of sobs as she watched him walk away and head back into the bar, her heart aching as she covered her face with her hands. She felt like somebody had just ripped out her chest. He wasn't her's anymore, and she wasn't his.

~

He will try to take away my pain

And he just might make me smile

But the whole time I'm wishin' he was you instead

~

The next day, Y/N had found out on the same night that Veronica had broken up with Archie too. She had been at Pop's trying to fight back a fresh wave of tears, when Archie had taken a seat beside her and started up a conversation with her. She eventually just broke into a fresh wave of tears as she tried explaining to Archie what had happened, and he had moved his arms around her to hug her, trying to comfort her in the best way he could. Though it felt wrong - his arms felt different to Jughead's, they were more muscular and harder. That fact alone just made her cry harder as she held onto Archie, as she wished it was Jughead sat with her instead. But she couldn't seem to let go of Archie - needing the reassuring contact even if it wasn't from the right person. So she just held onto him tightly as she cried, silently wishing it was Jughead instead.

~

Oh, oh, holding my breath, won't see you again

Something keeps me holding on to nothing

~

Y/N returned to Pop's the day after, hoping to catch Archie there again. Though as she had walked though the doors of the diner, instead of seeing her red-haired friend, she saw Toni sat at the table beside her usual one instead. She frowned as she looked at her, knowing she probably knew about what her gone down between herself and Jughead at FP’s retirement party. She had tried to walk part Toni without being noticed, though just sighed when she heard her call her name.

“Y/N?” She asked, causing the girl to force a smile as she turned to face her. “Listen, I’m sorry about what happened between you and Jug at the party.”

“It’s fine.” Y/N shook her head. It wasn’t fine, far from it, but she wasn’t about to stand and talk to Toni Topaz about her feelings, of all people. “It’s probably been a long-time coming.” She sighed.

“Listen, I-“

“Y/N?” Another voice came from behind her, an all too familiar voice, causing Y/N to frown as she turned around and saw Jughead stood there. She hadn’t seen him since the night he’d broken up with her, and hadn’t planned on seeing him for a long while, knowing she wouldn’t be able to handle it. Though instead of tears of sadness filling her eyes like she thought would happen, angry tears filled them together as she put two and two together. She glanced between him and Toni, and just shook her head as the tears started falling. He was meeting up with her, not even three days after they had broken up.

“Nice.” She whispered. “Rub salt in the wound, why don’t you?”

“What?” Jughead asked, before his eyes widened as he looked at Toni before back at her. “Y/N-“

“I don’t want to hear it, Jughead.” Y/N shook her head as the tears fell faster, quickly stepping past him and towards the exit of the diner to head outside. Her vision quickly became blurred with tears as she walked, breathing becoming a difficult task as she pushed back any verbal cries trying to escape.

“Y/N wait!” Jughead called after her. “It’s not what you think, please.”

Y/N turned around to face him as she started full-on crying, despite trying not to. “No, Jughead, I don’t care!” She shouted through her tears, her whole body starting to shake. “Just leave me alone, okay? I can’t be around you right now.”

Whilst Jughead stumbled over his words trying to say something, Y/N just turned around and walked away as she started sobbing freely.

~

Come on, come on don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Something's gone terribly wrong, you're all I wanted

Come on, come on don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Can't breathe whenever you're gone

Can't turn back, now I'm haunted

~

By the time Y/N had gotten home, she was a mess. Her chest hurt with each rough cry that passed her lips but she couldn’t stop. Weeks of emotional torture she’d endured, watching Jughead fall out of love with her, and just as things had started to seem okay he’d broken up with her. He had said it was to protect her, because he couldn’t let her get hurt, but was that really the reason? Or was he really just not in love with her? And wanted to be with Toni instead?

Once she had managed to get to her room she just slammed the door and fell to her floor, her hands covering her face as she hunched over. Everywhere hurt; her chest, her throat, her eyes, her heart. She felt like screaming, screaming for hours until her throat was raw and she couldn’t make anymore noise. Though she couldn’t physically stop the sobs long enough to even try to scream.

Her hands were shaking once she’d moved them from her face to plant them on her bedroom floor to stable herself, the shakes travelling up her arms and through her body until her entire frame was quivering with the agonising pain she felt. The tears couldn’t seem to stop, either. It felt like she had been crying ever since the break up, and for the most part she had.

“You’re not gone.“ She sobbed, hitting the floor with her palms before hunching over again as she continued crying. “You can’t be gone!“ The words mixed in with her crying to the point where she sounded like a wounded animal, begging for death. And in a way, she felt like it. Y/N didn’t think she could survive without Jughead by her side.

~

You and I walk a fragile line

I have known it all this time

Never ever thought I'd see it break

Never thought I'd see it

~

Another week passed before she saw Jughead again. The first time she had seen him after the break up it had been an accident, though this time he had asked to meet up with her, and for some reason said yes. Y/N tried telling herself that she had agreed to go simply because she was curious about what he had to say, though the real reason was because she was hoping he wanted to meet up with her to get back together.

For once, Jughead was there before her, though the scene looked so odd. For a start, he wasn’t even wearing his signature beanie - just the Serpent jacket that looked so foreign to her. And there was nothing on the table. Usually when they met up, whoever got there first would get each other’s favourite milkshakes. Though the only thing there was an untouched Pop’s menu.

“Hey.” Jughead said softly once she had sat in the seat opposite him, not beside him as usual. “I’m glad you came. I wouldn’t have put it past you if you didn’t.”

“What did you want to talk about?” She asked, just wanting to get it over and done with. Whilst she wasn’t crying herself to sleep every night anymore or tearing up at the mention of his name, she still didn’t trust herself to be with him for too long, in fear of setting off her uncontrollable flow of emotions.

“I just...” Jughead sighed. “I wanted to say I was sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have been so harsh with you about it. I probably could have done it all in a nicer way to make it easier for the both of us. And, I just wanted to say that I wasn’t meeting up with Toni last week in the way that you thought. Really, Y/N, she just wanted to make sure I was okay.”

Y/N scoffed quietly as she shook her head, a sad smile making it’s way to her face. “And I was thinking you wanted to get back together.” She whispered, though he heard her.

Seeing his eyebrows furrow and the shake of his head was enough to make her eyes brim with tears again as a lump formed in her throat.

“Y/N, I can’t do that.” He whispered, reaching across the table to take her hands in his. “You’re in too much danger with me, I can’t let anything happen to you.”

“I can handle it, Jug.” She tried telling him, though her throat was clogged up with tears and it made talking an extremely difficult task. “I can handle it, please can we just try.” Tears starter falling as her voice broke, her hands tearing from his as they flew to cover her face. After a moment she felt the seat dip beside her as he sat down, his arms winding around her and pulling her into him as she started crying.

“Please don’t leave me.” She started crying, the sound of her heart breaking almost louder than her cries. Almost. “Please, Jug, this can’t be over, I never thought I’d see this break, please.”

Jughead was stiff as he rubbed her arm gently, letting his lips linger on her forehead as a way of trying to comfort her. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, his own voice thick. “I have to. Y/N.”

At that she just started crying harder as she held onto him, trying to soak up his hold, his touch, everything, as she knew once he left she wouldn’t ever get it again. She turned to be completely pressed into him as she sobbed into the cold uncomfortable leather of his jacket, trying to hold onto him for as long as possible. Though she knew everything was over, and she couldn’t even take the thought. She couldn’t stand to live without Jughead in her life, she just didn’t want to.

She was haunted.

[nerdmars]

Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak have been waiting for years to unleash Silk Sonic on the world. And you can tell they're in the mood to party now that their finger-snapping, slinky debut R&B jam "Leave the Door Open" is out.

Speaking to Apple Music's Zane Lowe on Friday (March 5), the mimosa-sipping pals broke down the group's origins, what it felt like to work together in-person and how they roped bass-slapping funk legend Bootsy Collins into the mix.

Mars said one of the songs on the album dates back to a phrase he came up with on tour in 2017, that quickly morphed into a hook that "snowballed" into seriously intense studio sessions. "It was like, 'Well, want to come back tomorrow?'" Mars told Lowe. "And we kept coming up with music. It felt like why you fall in love with music in the first place. And jamming with your buddy… There’s no plan, just working out the parts and trying to excite each other... that's why this wouldn't happen if it didn't make sense and it didn't feel natural and organic. This was a series of events that led us to 'Man, why don't we just do it?'"

That initial idea turned into a friendship, which morphed into a realization that they loved a lot of the same music and then, hitting the studio. The pandemic, of course, threw a wrench into their plans, but instead of trying to make music long-distance, .Paak said they decided to get in the studio face-to-face.

"When you get in and you can jam with someone and other artists that could hold it down and you're bouncing, that's different," AP said. "That's the difference and you're really creating a groove from scratch. You guys are trying to figure out what's going to work. What's the math behind this that's going to get everybody feeling good? What is it? Is it too heavy? Is it not heavy enough? And especially with this song, it's a song that requires so much patience and delicate..." Mars jumps in: "Delicatessen," with .Paak adding, "Delicatessens. A lot of meat went into this song."

Because both men are allergic to being regular, they knew they needed to get Parliament/Funkadelic thumper Collins -- who Mars referred to as "the definition of a superstar" -- into the mix. "There's so many artists that you could see that grew up on him. And me and Andy being a couple of guys that just grew up loving that," he said of the pair's mutual admiration of Bootzilla. "And we thought it'd be incredible if we could dream up a dream set list and we, that was our model in the studio, 'Alright, well, let's create the set list of doom, who would be the ultimate host that could thread all these songs together?' And thank God for Bootsy."

As for Mars' legendary perfectionist streak, .Paak said the last person he collabed who worked him to death so hard was his original mentor, Dr. Dre. "This dude doesn't listen to music like regular people, you know, people get lost? And he can't, he can’t," .Paak said of Mars. "A lot of people do collabs these days, but I don't think they understand what it's like to go in and get work with someone that's challenging everything.” Like, 'Did we do this right? Did we do this right? Should we try this right?' You know for me, a lot of it is about having fun, but he was really the first person, the first period of bringing it to my attention that sometimes you got to go through hell to get heaven."

Mars and .Paak see the project as the next evolution of their careers, even if the collaboration kind of just fell in their laps as a happy accident. And now that it's done, the pair, who have a mutual love for ripping it up live, are anxious to get out there and perform the tracks for an audience, whenever that's possible.

"We were in a situation right now for guys that grew up playing live. That's another thing. That's heartbreaking for it to be in the studio and trying to write songs, but the live element is gone," said Mars about COVID-19 putting a crimp in any plans to do a joint tour. "While I'm writing songs, that's a part of my whole thing. It goes to like, 'I can't wait till people hear this.' And it's also, 'I can't wait to play this for people. I can't wait to be with my band.'"

But when things open up again, .Paak said they will definitely be ready to hit it, hard. "I'd love to present it," he said. "And soon as the world gets to the point where it's saying...," with Mars adding, "We need it, man. We need it. I mean, if the terms are right. Yeah. The terms got to be locked, though."

[halfusek]

Hello, question concerning your Amazon Abomination comic Verse: What do you would have happened, if Henry stayed? I don't think it would've changes mich in the whole creating live thing and Joeys growing Obsession with it, but what would've happened to Henry?

Lemme clear something up - Abomination is nothing else but an interpretation of what in my opinion has happened in the studio. In the beginning, I wanted to make it a thing focusing on Joey and Bendy only but then I started getting more and more ideas which made me figure out a way to tell the whole story (in the way I see it at least).

At first I wanted to shortly answer “there would be no Abomination lol” but then I gave it some thinking and… get ready for an essay:

What would happen if Henry didn’t leave the studio?

I believe we have an answer for this concerning just Henry himself in the game.And it’s not a pleasant one.

“Local Artist Pushed Himself Too Hard, Found Dead At Desk”. I mean that’s basically what staying would mean for Henry - pushing harder.

I don’t think this newspaper is telling us what happened to Henry Stein, I got that impression the moment I saw the headline, but after a while, I realised it doesn’t really… make sense.

The whole point of Joey and Henry choosing two different roads is that Joey held onto working and creating while Henry chose family over work. (Even though Henry showed some signs of workaholism, I think Linda could be the one helping him choose what’s right and better for him - I mean why even mention and focus on her at any moment if she wasn’t important in any way?)Does that make sense? Make this whole “Henry chose the right path and didn’t push himself too hard” just to say that he pushed himself too hard in the end? Yeah, no, I’m not buying that. I mean it could be true but not really satisfying to me.

So I think it’s just a “what if”. What if he stayed.He would overwork himself.And since he would choose work over family then maybe he would lose Linda in the process, maybe not but either way their relationship wouldn’t be doing well.

Now let’s do a small comparison.

To me, Henry seems like a sorta passive person, especially with his “just keep drawing”. Don’t question anything, just keep doing what you do.On the other hand, we have Joey who is like “just do whatever it is you do and trust me as your leader”.

This is… a really bad mix.Even worse when you take into consideration that they are friends. And you are willing to push yourself harder for someone like that. For a friend.

Since we already are going kind of against Henry’s character by assuming he wouldn’t leave, we might as well assume he wouldn’t really change the way he’s working. He would keep pushing, just as Joey wants him to and as an old man thinks would magically fix everything but… no, I honestly doubt that.

I don’t think studio’s successes/failures depended on Henry either, he was one amazing animator, we can surely give him that (it took a few people to replace him), but Joey still managed to (temporarily) succeed without him.

I honestly doubt the debt the studio was later in could be easily fixed by one person. Maybe Joey would listen to Henry more than other people (like Grant, his goddamn accountant), but the thing is that at some point they were successful and well things often rely on luck, economy and stuff like that, so many ideas could have seemed fine until things weren’t really fine. I mean Great Depression made some people really rich and some really poor, it was really tricky to make financial decisions.Plus - Henry is passive. He just keeps drawing.Joey believes Henry would push him to do the right thing, maybe he would try but then again - Henry ends up overworking himself, so in the end, it’s almost as if he just left.Can’t really push if you’re dead.

So we actually end up with a similar set up to what we have in the original story.

The only exception is that we could have a 6th labelled coffin. With Henry’s name on it. So it could somehow go even more unpleasant from now. How? Oh, it’s pretty simple:

…kind of. As Henry would die from overworking himself and wouldn’t be actually… killed. But still, there is something which I think is worth noting.

It seems to me as if the inkwell is associated with Henry. I mean if any of the items was associated with him, it would be this one and no one from the workers doesn’t really fit (except for Joey, but “The Illusion of Living” fits him waaay better for obvious reasons). Also, let’s assume here that the items are connected to actual workers because they could just represent something else, but in this interpretation, I take them this way. I think I should elaborate a bit on how I see it works, which I actually did include in Abomination:

I did some math. And I don’t like it.

We have 14 characters: Joey, Henry, Wally. Thomas, Sammy, Norman, Jack, Johnny, Susie, Allison, Shawn, Grant, Lacie, Bertrum.(I’m going to aggressively count Johnny even if it’s not his name because the organ moans in pain and there has got to be someone in it and I like things making sense in the game, even if it’s just a reference to something else.)

6.

12 (next to Norman’s and Grant’s there is an unlabeled coffin).

Another unlabeled one in that hallway after you exit Allison’s and Tom’s safehouse. So 13…

14.

Now, I’m not counting this one:

As it’s not a physical coffin, only a drawn one. It’s another symbol of death and death is connected to Henry a lot.

(The last one could be just referring to the ink as in the Ink Machine or to the inkwell, or maybe even to both, who knows.)

But the best/worst is:

The actual offering has a skull and crossed bones on it.Ink = death.Scythe being a “reward” for not dying a single time and killing everyone on your way. And activating all the flashbacks which help Henry realise he’s in a cartoonish loop. By entering the death tunnel on purpose. When Henry is most lucid.“You bring death”.And, heck, even him playing “The End” and setting everyone free (by playing “The End” and in some ways killing everyone in the studio) is something death-connected.

Whatever the symbolism is, let’s go with the inkwell being an offering connected to Henry’s soul.

Also, let’s go back to the number 14.

Workers with coffins: Norman, Grant, Bertrum, Lacie, Susie.

Workers with offerings: Henry (inkwell), Joey (book), Shawn (doll), Sammy (record), Thomas (gear), Wally (wrench).

Workers without labelled coffins nor offerings: Allison, Jack, Johnny.

Unlabeled coffins: 3.

What made me start thinking deeper about this is the fact that none of the workers has both a coffin and an offering.Also an interesting thing with how… corpses in the game act:

workers with coffins: Norman/The Projectionist, Susie/Alice - corpses don’t disappear (hard to tell what’s with Grant and Lacie as we can’t be sure of their fates and Bertrum is an octopus ride but his head doesn’t seem to go anywhere)

workers with offerings: Joey/The Ink Demon, Sammy/The Prophet, Wally/Boris - corpses sort of disintegrate/vanish? (except for Sammy in the searcher form but yeah he is a searcher which work differently, again we don’t know Shawn’s fate and Thomas/Tom didn’t die in-game)

the rest: Allison doesn’t die in-game, neither does Johnny (lmao imagine killing the organ) but Jack is crushed by a box and we can’t really tell what happens to his body but… his hat stays

other deaths: Searchers - they go back to the puddles, same with the Swollen Ones and the Lost Ones buuuuuuuuuuut!

the Butcher Gang - corpses don’t vanish but sort of? collapse? which is confusing (in a way Grant, Shawn and Lacie’s fates are so they aren’t necessarily crossed out of being at least some of the Butcher Gang members)

So the thing I think is that while not everyone was sacrificed, Joey still has some control over their souls. Or, if you please

owns.

And let me tell ya seeing as older, slightly more rationally thinking Joey still was playing with Henry’s soul making him go in an endless loop, leaves me with zero doubt that he would play with it 30 years earlier.I mean the inkwell has always been included in the packet. ;)And definitely Henry’s death would impact Joey, but I’m afraid…

…nothing good would come out of it.

[wndrlstvbz]

Math and Makeup Don't Mix

you need help for a makeup look and your spider boy happens to be the perfect model.

a/n: just had to be part of the amazing @upsidedownparker 5K writing challenge!! 

this is ya girls first time doing this so please bear w/ me here loves

You could hear Peter huffing and puffing up the stairs to your room and the lightbulb lit up in your head. Per his advice you had decided to put your skills to the test and join the schools theater group as their new makeup artist. The director had just presented the new play this morning and you noticed a drag queen character in the cast. While part of you was jittery with excitement the other part was ready to spontaneously combust. You got home with a wig in one hand and your phone playing drag tutorial videos in the other.

The MUAs you’ve seen before make it look easy but just because James Charles did a quick drag video on Youtube doesn’t mean you can just whip up a whole look on opening night. At least not without some practice. Lucky for you, your model had just walked into the room.

“Peter my love, darling, boo and best thing that has ever happened to me! How has your day been sweetheart?” You say looking up to him, making sure to use the puppy dog eyes to soften him up before throwing in the catch. He chuckles and wraps his arm around your neck while glancing over your shoulder to see all the products and brushes sprawled on your vanity. He looks up at you in the mirror with narrowed eyes, “I think I know the reason for this sudden burst of affection.”

You scoffed and turned to him in pretend shock and hurt, “Listen here Spider-boy if you think that I’m being all lovey dovey just so you can be my practice model for a makeup look...” You pause for emphasis, “Then you are completely right! Take a seat please, babe.” You did a mini victory dance as Peter rolled his eyes and reluctantly sat down on your chair as you pulled out the materials you needed, “But all jokes aside, how was it? I know you had tutoring after school today.” You gently took a very expensive tube of foundation he was vigorously shaking out of his hands, “No touchy.”

He pouted and grabbed another tube instead, “It was horrible I mean I was trying to teach this kid probability and it was worse than trying to teach Mr. Stark how to use snapchat!” You snorted, your mind going back to last month when you got a spam of pictures of Peter in different filters, followed by a video of Stark asking Peter why the hell there were flowers on his head. “You have to admit the snapchat incident was funny, but probability is fairly easy, is the kid in our class?”

Peter laughs nervously, “Well actually he’s 12 so... no.” You nearly drop the powder in your hands and gape at your now red boyfriend, “Don’t look at me like that, I was a master at probability by the time I was nine, that little boy has no excuses.”, he pointed out. “I worry about you sometimes Parker, now what color eyeshadow do you want?” You asked, “And before you grab one, this is spring look so no spid-” You turn to see Peter slowly putting back down a red and blue palette. You shake your head and hand him another one to choose from. The time passed by with a mini dance battle and Peter stopping you every once and a while to show you a funny video he found.

“You know y/n, I feel personally victimized by this color discrimination thing you have going on.” Peter states with a smug look on his face, “I might have to stop letting you practice on me” You pull back after finishing the second eye and smirk back, “Then I might have to make you a very ugly drag queen as revenge.” Peter pulls you on his laps and spins you both till you two are facing the mirror, laughing, “I mean come on babe, me? Ugly? The probability of that is zero, but you go ahead.”

You roll your eyes and apply the finishing touches, you grab some red lipstick and turn to Peter, “Pucker up, buttercup.” After all the hard work it was done and needless to say, Peter looked beautiful. As he played with the wig in the mirror you cleaned everything up. “Y/n, baby, any chances I can keep this wig?” Before you could mutter back a response you felt arms snake around your waist and pull you back.

“Peter no! Put me down this instant or so help me!”, you yelped as Peter spun you around, he planted you on the ground facing him. Even with all the makeup on you could still make out his best features, like his crazy eyebrow that took forever to cover up. You leaned up to peck his lips but he cupped your cheeks and held you back, “No ma’am, you never let me kiss you when you have makeup on so you don’t get to kiss me.” You stared at him in disbelief before turning back to your vanity shrugging and laughing, “Well the probability of you being able to keep that act for long is zero as well so.” You could tell Peter was weighing his options in his head, “Okay, you’re right, where’s the cleaning things? I want my kiss.”

You snickered and pulled Peter into the bathroom and sat on the sink counter while proceeding to clean off all the caked on makeup on his face. “Thanks for doing this for me though, you’re the best drag queen boyfriend in the world!” you joked. Peter planted a kiss on your forehead, “Anything for you my love”. You looked up at your boyfriend with a cheeky smile, “So what’s the probability of getting my kiss now?”, Peter glances from your eyes to your lips and you already know what the answer is, “According to my calculations, 100%.” You giggle and pull on his shirt collar till his lips smash onto yours. Peter pulls away and gazes into your eyes, “Math and makeup don't mix but our lips sure do.” You bite your bottom lip and shake your head, “Well we should do that one more time, just to be sure.”

[supere1113]

The Artist In Me - Track 6: Gifted Alien

Here in the album lies a palpable tone change. We're 5 tracks in, and I wanted the first five tracks of TAIM to be sort of a mirror to the 5 tracks that make up Identity, as they are transcendent projects: TAIM explores the ideas that Identity lays the foundation for. This was a happy coincidence, but those five tracks almost mirror Identity in length, too! Just 2 or 3 minutes difference, Identity being longer. They ALSO mirror each other in the sense that they are kind of an exposition of me, my beliefs, my core and my values. 1) Inspiration is your friend. Love it. 2) "I can hang out with my friends, the next day, I'll be fine with reading books at my house!" Ha ha ha! 3) I'm multi-talented, and I do what I want. "And you can, too!" 4) I have big dreams, and I want to achieve them all. And 5) Imma stay original, Imma stay authentic, I tell my story, and you can come along for the ride! (I kinda set you up for what comes next in that last one ha ha ha!)

I also put a tone change here to signal a switch in the narrative at this point in the album. I go from telling you about myself and things about me, to telling you stories about my life as a preteen after I got all those values and what I experienced that defined that era of my life... while also telling you one more thing about me. I'm on the Autism spectrum.

In this, the very heart of the album, I tell you about my developmental make-up. I tell you that I am autistic. High-functioning autism is what they call mine now. If you personally know me, or have seen any of my content online, this may surprise you because you're probably thinking, "Evan never seemed autistic to me." I'll get to that in a second. Anyways, I got diagnosed when I was in 4th grade, but my mom didn't tell me until I was 11 (it was called Asperger's Syndrome at the time, but the people who diagnose it have put all of the different types of autism under the umbrella of Autism Spectrum Disorder, or autism for short since then, so I'll call it that since it's not 2009 anymore. Technicalities). Michael Jackson had died that same year she told me and that really affected me deeply. It had never happened to someone I cared that much about. Amidst that loss, I was... "gifted" with this new information as well.

My perception of autism has changed over the years, and I see it differently than I did then. But at the time, I was really confused about what that means to and for me. I didn't know how to make sense of it, how to perceive it. I was led to believe that I was like everyone else mentally, and then my mom tells me that I'm not, but in fact, markedly atypical from other kids, other people. I could write a book on autism and how to notice it in minorities, but the most prevalent "symptoms" (I hate that word) you can find in me are that I struggle to make and especially maintain eye contact. It's scary and really just... overstimulating to observe all the features of the human face. Even the moon is terrifying to look at sometimes because it looks like a giant abstraction of a human face floating in the sky! Doesn't that sound scary?! I also was born without a "social chip" in my brain if you will. "How is he able to be so nice and mannerable and perceptive without a social chip?" You can't really tell on the surface because I learned how to socialize early on, but I had to learn it like I learned math and science and reading. I'm an incredibly fast learner, so I've gotten really good at it, but socializing will never be second nature to me. Always a weird art that every other human likes to do, and I learned how to do it because I want to connect with said humans. For nearly 40% of my life, I was overtly enthralled by the Titanic. Everything about her (you can tell my enthusiasm as I address the ship as a she. This ship is my everything). The circumstances behind her sinking, the arithmetic of the dead and the survivors, the morals of the passengers, how the disaster affected human history, random facts, and most of all, her technical specifications and visual appearance. And the (in)accuracy of the many movies made about her. She's the reason I'm a designer. How's that for defining a kid's life?! For most of my childhood, I spoke mostly about Titanic and it annoyed a lot of people to hear me talk back then. The thing is, I didn't pick up on the fact that they felt that way. That's Autism. Right there. Many people "on the autism spectrum" as were categorized, are also very smart and typically skilled and blessed with some sort of talent, or multiple talents in my case. I know I'm not the only one like that, either. Michelangelo and Sir Isaac Newton were autistic as well.

So after mom told me about that, I had connected all the dots between my behaviors. So the big question became, "What am I?!"

In postmodern society, kids and honestly everybody are led to perceive diagnosable developmental differences or so-called "disabilities" as just that - disabilities. So I slowly began to believe that something was wrong with me. It became weird to have great gifts, to have a vast collection of knowledge in your head about this one thing that you're interested in. To have trouble socializing and blending in, all because God made your mind to function differently than everyone else. I wasn't mad at God, I just confused about the whole situation... and that's what this song is about. Whew!

The musical ideas explored in Gifted Alien stem mostly from hip hop of the early to mid 1990s. Boom-bap and G-funk stuff mostly. A lot of 2Pac and Biggie influences, also some gospel sauce in that mix, too. Donnie McKlurkin, Kirk Franklin/God's Property, all that. Cool stuff.

I think that Gifted Alien is the most important song on this album because of its message and the fact that it sheds light on something that isn't really discussed to the point of people having a significant understanding of it. Autism. Also minority autism. Black autism. You don't see very many musical artists talking about this stuff in pop songs or songs made for the mainstream. So if you want to share only one song from this here album, let it be this one if you like it. I want so desperately for other autistic people, regardless of age or ethnicity, diagnosed or undiagnosed, that they are not alone. I hear them, and I'm speaking for our shared community.

Hi. I'm Evan, and I am a gifted alien. And I love you personally. ❤

You can listen to Gifted Alien here if you want. This link will take you to wherever you listen to music. YouTube included. ❤

[imagine-the-fandomz-blog]

May I request a match-up for Free!, Hetalia, and Yuri!!! On Ice? I am a cis female, 5'7", and asexual demiromantic. I'm a bit on the chubby side with brown hair and brown eyes. I like to write original stories and fanfiction, and draw when I have the time. I like working with numbers, so I excel in subjects relating to math. I am a weird mix of shy and out-going: I'm shy around people I don't know too well, but once I warm up to you I am loud and sarcastic. I am an INTJ.

Free!

Rei Ryugazaki! You give off the vibe of being studious and very intelligent, which is what he looks for in a partner and that is what makes you two the perfect pair. He’s also very good at mathematical-type subjects, like yourself, and when you first meet he honestly finds your shy nature quite charming, and he can feel his attraction toward you grow stronger the more you hang out and get to know one another. Once he gets past your initial shy self and discovers your more sarcastic side, he’ll definitely poke fun with you every now and then to provoke some playful, sarcastic banters. Any story you’ve written he’d love to read through and provide constructive criticism to help you grow as a writer. He’s your #1 supporter in every thing you do and wants to help you reach the goals you’ve set out for yourself.

Hetalia

Estonia! He enjoys that you like working with numbers and are good in math-related subjects, and he’d use this as a way to bond with you from time to time. He’d also be one to enjoy reading through your stories if you allowed him to and would definitely provide feedback where he saw fit. He’s not a very good artist himself, but he definitely takes an interest in what you have drawn and would love to see all of the works you’ve completed. When you first meet, he’d absolutely adore your shy nature and that’s what got him so attracted to you in the first place. Once you got more comfortable and showed your sarcastic side, he’d be a bit taken back but would just chuckle to himself and, if you were to make some sarcastic comment, he wouldn’t hesitate to throw one right back at you.

YOI

Jean-Jacques Leroy! He would most definitely be attracted to your shy nature when you first meet, thinking how adorable you were and how much he wanted to get to know you better. Once he did and he discovered your loud and sarcastic side, he’d definitely like to poke fun with you from time to time just to see your reactions and comebacks you make. He’d admire that you’re so good with numbers and excellent in math, and knowing this he would always come to you whenever he had troubles with someone relating to the subject. He would also like to read some of the stories you’ve written if you’d allow him to and would support this hobby of yours, telling you it’s great to have a creative outlet such as that. ((Tbh I had a bit of trouble trying to figure out who the best person would be for you in this particular anime, so I was mostly basing my match-up on the strengths and weaknesses of the INTJ personality I found on a website. Hopefully you like all of your match-ups anyway!))