#artistic license as they please - it's a don't like move on matter

[dummerjan]

even in my thai shows and adjacent fanfiction i can't escape christmas

[jmdbjk]

The angel chariot

Eagle-eye Army spotted the fact that Jungkook's company car that whisked him away from Incheon airport upon his arrival from Los Angeles was the same one that Jimin used this past December for his comings and goings to the airport. Same license plate. [First 4 numerals/characters obscured to protect the innocent and cover my ass. Also not providing the link to eagle-eye army in the interest of keeping the imbeciles away from them.]

I tried to spy the license plate of the cars during their other past airport comings and goings but they were moving too fast/obscured by objects or people.

Maybe not Jimin or Jungkook but it was used to carry SOMEONE to Hobi's enlistment:

Of course BigHit has a fleet of these identical black KIA Carnival limousines and who knows if actual vehicles/drivers are assigned to specific members, but it was interesting to see and think about.

However, here is a curious bit of trivia: the number 5469 is supposedly the "angel" number. Various sources describe 5469 as:

well mannered

conscientious

artistic

humanitarian

balanced

harmonious

protective

giving

fair

caring

kind

romantic

nurturing

supportive

And this:

"Looking from a numerology standpoint, the energy emanating from the four-digit number 5469 is a decidedly well mannered energy. It resonates with distinct patterns of compassion and perceptible vibrations of romance. The number also points to an awareness which manifests at a subconscious, empathic level — pointing to an almost empathic synchronization with the emotions and thoughts of society."

I don't make that stuff up, other people do.

Anyway, is there a real significance in coming and going in the same car for their separate activities? Of course not. Like I said, we can't know if it's pure coincidence or if members are assigned specific cars/drivers etc. It was just something someone noticed and I'm passing on this extreme level of delulu to you because I aim to please.

The Jikook hug: the live action "I miss you"/"me too" played out right in front of us.

You can't convince me otherwise that when these two are together on their own time, they are up in each other's space in a way that would make you and me blush uncomfortably. It's the way they look at each other and the way they talk to each other. Yes, Jimin gives the best hugs and right before he dove into Jungkook, he gave Hobi the warmest, tightest "I love you hyung" hug as well ... JK's eyes following Jimin all the way until Hobi receives his hug. Honestly, Jungkook seemed like he was patiently anticipating a hug from Jimin too ... it is the attentiveness or awareness of each other and creates a Jimin and Jungkook aura and adds an extra level to their closeness.

Kookie keeps his eyes on his Jiminie all the time and he seems to enjoy his touching. The way JK pulled Jimin in and held on to him...no matter the level of delulu you subscribe to, their bodies in that full frontal, smushed together, I-MISSED-YOU-COME-HERE-BABY-I-LOVE-YOU hug just makes me really happy for them.

So playful and easy with each other.

Yep, I know what I see. If you can't see it, I'm sorry. I don't know how to transfer that ability to detect it to you. If I could, I would so everyone can feel their love for each other.

Did they miss each other? Absolutely. How long had they been apart? 3 weeks? 3 hours? 3 minutes? What difference does it make?

Who knows, maybe they rode back home to Seoul in the angel chariot XXXX-5469 and spent some quality time together before they separated again for their respective solo activities and whatever those might be, we will find out eventually!

[veryberryjelly]

Hello! Can I get a 🥐 for the marauders please? Thank you in advance!

I'm 5"5, I've got a septum, Medusa and nostril piercing. My hair is a curly black bob with shaved sideburns, I have brown eyes. I have one tattoo but plan on getting much more. I'm curvy with an hourglass body.

I'm an ENFP and a Libra with a special interest in divination (like tarot). My house is Slytherin but could be Gryffindor as well. My style is mostly punk/rock. My hobbies are drawing, poetry, movies and music. I'm a smoker as well. I enjoy all kinds of music but mostly bands like Black Sabbath, Queen and Rammstein (weird combination lmao)

I'm an anarchist and I can appear quite mean and scary at first but as soon as you meet me I'm actually quite nice and loving. I'm very brave and loyal. I care very much about my friends and would honestly do anything for them. I'm quite social but don't really open up to people if I don't trust them completely. I get angry quite easily but I'm quick to realize when I'm wrong in an argument although sometimes a bit too proud to admit it. I'm not afraid to voice my opinions no matter who I'm talking to. I love to make people laugh. I tend to overthinking a lot to the point where I sometimes spiral into thoughts that aren't really true. I like listening to people's problems and helping them, giving me the "therapist" title in my friend group. I wanna be a tattoo artist in the future and move away to house in a small village in Italy and spend my life there when I grow old. I also believe that you choose your family in this world, no matter who your "actual" family is.

I believe thats all, again thank you in advance 💗

𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭

i ship you with...

sirius black !!!

sirius' muggle job is a tattoo artist. that's just canon.

i feel like it would be so sweet to meet him because he's your tattoo artist and then fall in love 🥰

if you want to be a tattoo artist i know he's try and help & give you tips on how he got so good.

and the minute you get your license he lets you give him a tattoo because he wants to be the first person you tattoo. <3

he has queen playing almost constantly in his flat, that and bowie

he loves to watch you make your case with people. like if you get fired up he'll just sit back and watch with a soft smile on his lips because he loves that you're so passionate

[peterlbrown4f]

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[trickstarbrave]

example is a dice maker i follow has been getting hit with a lot of these. people yelling at her that all she's doing is 3d printing shit, shoving it in a dice mold, and then pulling it out. it should, apparently, only cost a MAXIMUM 50 dollars for a jumbo, highly detailed, miniature scene cast in the dice rather than the several hundred she charges.

but what they don't consider is:

>cost of resin. it's expensive. you are going to fuck up or have cold spells or your pressure pot is off thus wasting it and having to start over

>cost of silicone: see above. its annoying to work with and really expensive and you will have to make new ones regularly.

>specialized equipment: you are going to need a pressure pot, measuring devices, mixing equipment, and things for safety like gloves, a respirator, and a designated space to do it away from pets and children that is ALSO temperature regulated. i've seen people with some frankly creative set ups with tents and exhaust fans and lights.

>COMMERCIAL LICENSES: believe it or not, in case you have been lead to believe otherwise, you cannot just find any 3d model you please, print it out, and sell that. you cannot even just take any font and slap it on your DICE SETS without checking if you need a commercial license. a lot of stuff online basically has a free commercial license, but likewise even more stuff is only free for personal use. meaning no, you cannot just grab whatever 3d model you want, print it off, and sell copies. if you want something custom for your dice, you have to go to an artist, specifically ask them for it for a commercial service (which will cost SIGNIFICANTLY MORE than a base commission price and may include royalties in some cases), and THEN you can use it.

>time. oh you all think it's super fucking easy to paint miniatures until you actually have to fucking do it. the smaller scale and little details make it more time consuming and annoying because one wrong move with your hand and you fucked the whole thing up. and then on top of painting you have to SAND. you sand your master dice 3d prints, and you sand every dice that comes out of the mold. it doesn't really matter how good your molds are, there will be SOME amount of sanding. which will take you hours. hours and hours as you move through grits, even with machines to help you.

these things are usually like a week of work with additional costs factoring into the price. do you wanna do potentially 30 hours of work for only 50 fucking dollars? probably fucking not. "well she could make the price even cheaper by charging only minimum wage, then she could get more commissions!" do you hear yourself. who in their right mind would willingly accept more work for less pay.

"well. i dont want to pay 450 dollars for one jumbo d20" good news: you don't have to! "well obviously other people wont either--" nope, other people do want to! and if people stop buying she will move on to making something else, so shut up. no one is making you, gun to your head, buy it. a lot of people wanna save up and buy smth like that for a special occasion or because theyre big collectors.

a lot more people don't understand how much labor should be fairly compensated for and all of the work that goes into making certain things and its very very obvious when people start ranting about how "[x] thing shouldn't cost that much it's outrageous you're overcharging and i'm going to personally attack you for this!"

[solkatti]

with the announcement of the great ace attorney i'd like to ask that everyone please refrain from creating or engaging with art that has the rising sun design on it.

tl;dr: it symbolizes the glorification of japanese imperialism so using it sucks.

not tl;dr, everything below the read more.

(tws for below include: discussion of colonization and imperialism, multiple examples of the rising sun motif being used)

(img: the current japanese flag. a white background with a red circle in the center)

this is the japanese flag used today. it’s different from what i’m about to talk about -- this one’s fine, it’s just a flag!

(edit: i put this image as the first one because i got sick of seeing rising sun flag in my notifs)

img: a red circle with alternating red and white stripes coming from the center. sometimes the white stripes are yellow or another pale color, but the design is very distinct.

i’m talking about this flag. for those who don't know, the rising sun motif is a common symbol in a lot of japanese art and design. its motifs (those red and white (sometimes pale yellow) alternating rays) show up quite a lot in anime, games, and decorations around and from japan. they shouldn’t.

nowadays, the rising sun carries a storied and extremely bloody history. to the nations and people japan invaded, it symbolizes that colonization and the numerous war crimes that japanese soldiers and government committed. i don’t really want to get into it so google "japanese imperial war crimes" if you don't already know. they were an empire. they colonized. you can probably guess the rest.

the japanese government still refuses to take accountability for their crimes, and even goes as far as to deny they ever happened. no apologies have been issued, ever, and even some japanese textbooks refuse to even acknowledge the subject. (this article’s from 2013 but it’s still applicable.)

so using it as a decorative element in your artwork, as you might guess, raises some issues. it would be like hanging a confederate flag as aesthetic flair at your american diner (and i know some places do that. they shouldn’t.)

(img: two screencaps from persona 5. on the left, the original version, where ryuji’s shoes have the rising sun emblem embroidered on the side. on the right, the version released in korea, where the shoe is white.)

(img: a logo for a japanese import store. a box with the rising sun logo on its side.)

unfortunately, lots of things do just that! these two were literally just stuff i pulled from my memory in two minutes. but it sucks! you shouldn’t do it!

"but how does this relate to lawyer game?"

the rising sun has appeared multiple times in promotional art or merchandise for dgs as decoration, which is a careless and harmful move on the part of the artists and of capcom itself.

the rising sun did exist before the 1900s, so having it on dgs art (roughly the 1890s) is technically historically compliant, but it turns out that meanings change over time, and sometimes, when you depict something from the past it carries new meanings in today’s context!

these games might be set in the past, but they are extremely modern creations. they shouldn't have this motif, and neither should any fanart.

the rising sun not just a decoration anymore, and it hasn’t been for over a century. symbols have meanings, and those meanings can change over time with context. what matters is what the rising sun symbolizes now.

(img: art released for dgs’ 5th anniversary depicting asougi and ryuunosuke. asougi has one arm wrapped around naruhodou and is smiling. naruhodou is smiling, with his left arm raised to the viewer. the background is decorated with the red and white stripes of the rising sun motif)

(img: an officially licensed coaster depicting ryuunosuke. the coaster background has red and white stripes emanating from ryuunosuke, in a flag pattern of the rising sun.)

at best, the rising sun is a symbol of refusal to acknowledge japan's imperial past, and at worst a glorification of it. right wing japanese media loves the rising sun flag almost as much as they like to deny all the war crimes.

(img: promotional art released for the 15th anniversary of ace attorney. it features the dgs cast, naruhodou as the center, with the rising sun motif as the background)

(img: promotional art for dgs, depicting a chibi ryuunosuke surrounded by chibi heads of some of the rest of the cast. he’s holding one arm up to the camera, smiling, with the rising sun motif decorating the background.)

dgs is a product of the culture that created it. and it is literally set right before japan decided to go full steam ahead on brutal colonization, so "an empire with no justice has no future" rings a little hollow knowing what comes after. (japan was being exploited at the time, but right after they decided to do the same exact thing...)

i'm not expecting a thorough critique of imperialism in my fun steampunk sherlock holmes crossover romp, and as wild as "dai gyakuten saiban 3: ryuunosuke naruhodou dodges the draft" would be, capcom would never make a game like that.

there’s a lot to be discussed regarding dgs’ critique of imperialist power and of how japan in the late 1800s was entering that militarized colonizing state and how it’s criticized, but i am not the person to be making that post.

EDIT: this tweet thread is more on that

anyway.

(img: an officially licensed phone case depicting ryuunosuke and asougi, with the rising sun motif in the background.)

at the very least you can't deny it is at least, a little weird seeing imperialist symbols plastered on top of merchandise.

i don’t hold any sway over capcom or the people who make ace attorney. but what i do ask if that people who like these games or want to show their appreciation (like me! i draw fanart of it sometimes!) just don’t put the rising sun motif on it. basically, just don’t put it on your art?? that’s literally all i’m asking.

thanks for reading all this also this is applicable to any decorative use of the rising sun motif like persona 5 or demon slayer or whatever. enjoy your sholmes when the game is released i probably will

[bookofmirth]

yeah regarding your recent post, i’ve been in many fandoms with huge ship wars but i’ve never witnessed such competitiveness over fan art?? it seems unique to the acotar fandom. like it’s just ridiculous how people are actually getting competitive over who has the most fan art, which side is the first to commission the “top artists,” i’ve even seen comments (mostly on twitter sigh) from people “disowning” an artist from their ship the moment they post art from a different ship (which is often commissioned anyway and doesn’t even reflect the artist’s views!!), and counting every new fan art as a “win” for one side and “loss” for the other side.

it’s not a competition!! y’all should be glad any artists are contributing to this f a fandom no matter what ship they like

it’s fucking ridiculous and it’s no wonder that so many artists are distancing themselves from the acotar fandom when they have to post a hundred disclaimers that “i respect both sides and i’ll draw the other ship next and i love both elain and gwyn and please respect both ships in the comments” or they just have to turn off comments completely.

it’s immature and toxic and i’m so tired of this fandom. and both sides do it so i’m sick of one side blaming the other.

It's so weeeeeeeeird anon, I hate it!!!!

I started to notice it maybe a couple of months after acosf came out. It just seems like there are a ton of people new to the fandom who have no idea how fandom works, and they are making it hell on the people who just want to create things because they like to draw, or write, or do edits, or whatever. No one can do anything in this fandom without some yahoo coming in with their "ackshually, this means endgame" or "hmmm this is problematic, bestie!"

Shut the fuck up! We are just trying to enjoy our thing, in the way that we want! Block the thing you don't like and move on. 🙂

Art is NOT a contest. The number of notes it gets doesn't matter. If something is licensed, that doesn't matter because that just means sjm is getting rightfully paid for her intellectual property - aka use of the characters. Things don't have to be canon to appear in fan art.

If the artist is doing something they enjoyed, leave them the fuck alone. If the artist is doing something that they got paid for, leave them the fuck alone. Take the art you like, make it your phone wallpaper, and exit quietly to the left.

*the only exception is whitewashing which is not okay and beside the point.

I literally don't care what ship or character the art is for, either. I have the e*riel tag blocked, have since 2017, I just don't go there because I know it's not for me. I've definitely seen people who ship elucien, gwynriel, e*riel, vucien/vassian, whatever, be weird as hell about fan art. This isn't a problem being perpetuated by one specific shipping group, it's all over the damn place.

But it's also cyclical, the art gets posted, the artist gets "hate" (which is very loosely defined, let's be honest) and then the art might get taken down, which does suck for the artist, but then people take advantage of the whole shitstorm to play the victim. "ugh e*riels did this" "ugh gwynriels are the worst" "ugh why do vassiens"

omfg! How old are you people!!!!!! There are bigger problems in the world! jfc.

[crystalwillow]

I’m All Yours

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Casey Valentine (F!MC)

I started a book on May 19th of this year (2020) that is full of Ethan x Casey one shots and short stories. I love Ethan’s character, and really enjoy his relationship with Casey just as much, I wish to share with the 5 part mini-series I started this book off with.

Before I post the fiction. I feel that it’s only right that I say a massive Thank You to @ethansdique again for letting me use some of her art for the cover of this book. 🥰 

Tagging: @kiteplayschoices @brycelahelalover @obsessedheehee @eleanorbloom @fuseboxmusebox @princesslahela @vibrantlyjaz @kaavyaethanramsey @queencarb @schnitzelbutterfingers @ramseysno1rookie @caseyvalentineramsey @ethanramseyswhore @whippedforethanfreakingramsey

=================================

"... Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow...... I love you too.... Goodnight babe. mwah!" Casey said softly down the phone to her soon to be husband. As she placed her phone to charge on the nightstand there was a light knock at her door, "it's open" she called out. It opened slowly and her bridesmaids filed in one by one. Jackie, Sienna, Aurora and Esme. "Hey. How are you feeling?" Sienna asked as they all sat on the bed around Casey. "Pretty nervous if I'm being honest." she replied with a shaky voice, "Hey. You've got this Valentine." Jackie encouraged as she wrapped her arm around Casey's shoulder, pulling her into a greatly appreciated tight hug. "Late night snack before bed girls?" Aurora asked, Casey sat up and looked at her "What is it?" she asked with narrowed eyes, "Gluten free pizza with all your favourite vegetables plus a sprinkling of diced chicken" Aurora answered. The girls all looked at one and other before rushing out the room and down the stairs "Casey has the best taste for pizza. the first slice is mine!" Aurora and Casey heard Esme shout out as the three other girls raced towards the kitchen. The two left behind, shared a chuckle before following them for a snack and glass of wine before bed.

--- 15 hours later---

Casey paced back and forth nervously in her room at the church waiting for word on her dress from Jackie and Esme, and the arrival of her hair and make-up artist from Aurora and Sienna. "Okay... it's okay Casey. everything will be fine there's a whole 3 hours to go. they'll be here soon, and everything will be fi--" She stops rambling to herself as her biggest fear completely takes over and she flops on the sofa bursting into tears. "Why me!?" she screams through her tears. She and Ethan had been planning this moment for the past 2 years. They had been officially dating for a year when Ethan popped the question one night in the diagnostics room, as they were staying late to finish up some reports. Now 3 years later she's "backstage" at a church for her wedding a wreck because both her dress and make-up artist are stuck in traffic. She was a hyperventilating mess by now, she'd been crying for almost 45 minutes when a knock at the door sounded, followed by a deep soothing voice that was all too familiar. "Casey?? Sweetheart, it's me. Ethan. Look... I know we're keeping things traditional because you're respecting me, but I want to respect you too. I've heard about what's going on so I uh... I'm out here in a t-shirt and jeans if you want to thr-" he's cut off by the door flying open and his soon to be wife running out into his arms and sobbing into his neck. "it's ruined! everything is ruined!" she exclaimed through her tears. "hey! shhhhh, it's alright sweetie, I'm here." he cooed softly as he rubbed soothing circles on Casey's back. Slowly he walked into the room and sat them down on the sofa as he cuddled Casey close. Slowly but surely with the small forehead kisses and whispers of sweet nothings she finely calmed down. "I'm sorry." Casey sniffled after a few moments of silence; Ethan's brow furrowed. "Sorry for what?" He asked, "This. I've messed everythi-" She started to ramble but Ethan stopped her with a finger to her lips "I don't want to hear none of that Valentine, do you understand?" he asked seriously but with the softest look on his face. She nodded. The two spent a few more minutes with each other, cuddling, laughing and sharing sweet kisses until Sienna came back. she gasped as she saw Ethan "The others are coming! quick! out... out!" She panicked urging Ethan out the room "I'll see you in a few Rookie" He smiled at Casey blowing her a kiss before leaving, mere moments before the room came to life with what felt like a million people to prepare her for the moment she had dreamt about her whole life. Marrying the love of her life. Her soulmate. Okay so he's a few years older but that doesn't matter, what matters is their love and respect for each other. The ceremony they're here for to tie them together for eternity.

--- 30 minutes to the ceremony ---

The girls are all inside their room having the finishing touches put to their outfits when there's a frantic knocking at the door. All four bridesmaids rush to answer it. on the other side you hear a frantic voice "Have you girls seen Ethan?!" you zoned out of the conversation as your phone pinged

Ethan: peep out the window :)

Casey: Why?? ...

Ethan: Just... please?

Sighing Casey set her phone down and peeped out the window, only showing her head and neck. As her eyes focused, she saw Ethan doing the same round the corner of the building and smiled wide, giggling to herself. She waved and blushed as Ethan blew her a kiss before disappearing round the corner. "Casey..." A voice sounded out behind her causing her to jump "What are you smiling at missy?" Jackie asked smugly, "oh, nothing. Just two birds who looked very much in love" Casey replied. Jackie, Aurora, Esme and Sienna all gave each other a knowing smile before turning back to Casey and wiggling their eyebrows "What? ..... What're you guys looking at me like tha- OOOOOH. no! stop! get your minds out of the gutter!" she laughed as she threw a pillow at Esme and one at Jackie. "Oi Valentine!" they shouted in unison and the world around the five of them went completely still for a moment "wow. That's the last time I'll hear that as my last name." Casey whispered with a tear coming to her eye but stopped it from falling. *ding ding ding ding ding ding* the bells started to chime signaling the beginning of the wedding. "well...." said Sienna, suppressing a smile as she looked around the room "Let's go and make you a Ramsey!" She cheered and the others joined in as Casey grabbed her bouquet and followed them out.

As Casey stood behind the closed door, the nerves really hit her, "Oh God... I'm doing this. I'm marrying Ethan Ramsey. phew" she rambled nervously "hey! It's going to be fine" Ethan's dad told her soothingly "What if I trip and fall on my face though? I already had one breakdown tod-" She started rambling again but was cut off by the bolt on the other side of the door moving. Letting out a deep breath, she looped her arm through Alan's, and they began walking down the aisle, as Casey walked down towards Ethan he looked down to wipe tears from his eyes. Soon, they were standing opposite each other and exchanging vows. Ethan cleared his throat and looked at Casey with a smile, "Rookie. That's how this whole thing started... you helped me rescue a woman in the reception area on your way to orientation when you didn't need to stop. as that year went on you infuriated me more and more with your persistence to be kind to me when I was, quite frankly, being an asshole to you. But then we... hooked up. I had shut that kind of thing out of my life for years. To be honest, I'd given up on finding "the one" who I would end up marrying. But you came along and changed everything. I... You showed me the feeling of love again that I had blocked out. I feel normal again and I want to thank God for putting you in my life because if it wasn't for you, I believe I would have become a stubborn drunk by now. Thank You for everything you've done and will continue to do. I love you" he finished up and kisses away a tear rolling down Casey's cheek. "you look beautiful" he whispered in her ear.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife." the priest announced after Casey and Ethan exchanged "I do's" and rings. They leave the church to hollering and applause, with bursts of confetti coming from random people. As they reached the steps, Ethan picked Casey up "Ah! Ethan!" she giggled as he carried her to their limo that would take them to their reception and then their new house at the end of the night.

--- At the reception ---

The reception was in full swing as Ethan and Casey sat at their table watching their guests enjoy themselves. Sighing happily Casey looked up at Ethan and kissed his cheek. "I love you Mr. Ramsey" she said, he looked down at her and smiled "I love you too Mrs. Ramsey" he smiled and kissed her lips sweetly. She giggled giddily and hugged him tightly. Ethan's dad approached the table with someone in tow, making Ethan rise to his feet to stand in front of her protectively. "I found this guy outside. He said he knows Casey." Alan stated as Casey looked up and saw Landry who gave a nervous smile and wave "You weren't invited." Casey said coldly as her face turned sour, "I know but we were friends and I wa-" Landry started to explain as Casey moved past Ethan getting into his face "Exactly, WERE  friends. But you decided to try and get my license revoked and almost cost me my job, when I was doing what was right for the patient. She passed away happy! and YOU!" She said raising her voice louder and louder by the minute as she jabbed her finger into his chest and pulled her shoulder out of Ethan's comforting grip, "YOU WERE. PART. OF IT. But you left that part out to save your ass! So, no. We are no longer friends because you are a TWO FACED, BACKSTABBING, MAN-WHORE, WHO NEEDS TO LEAVE MY RECEPTION AND GET OUT OF THIS BUILDING RIGHT NOW. GO!" she shouted as she pointed to the door. "I- okay" Landry said as he turned to leave. Ethan pulled Casey close to his chest, pressing a kiss to her head, "Get rid of him dad. Please, for Casey's sake." He told his father who obliged and escorted Landry out. "Hey. it's okay" Ethan cooed to Casey sweetly as he hugged her tightly as Jackie and everyone else came running over to support her "are you okay Case?" Elijah asked, "I brought you Champagne" Sienna said as she held out the flute to her best friend. Casey took it with a smile and a small "thank you" as she took a sip. "I think we should go dance. All of us. We've come so far together. Aaaaand, I wanna have fun tonight" She smiled as she placed the flute on the table next to Ethan's beer. "Macarena circle?" Bryce suggested, his eyes glistening with mischief "WOOOOO!" everyone cheered and rushed to the dance floor as Bryce went and asked for the song before joining the circle. Together they danced and laughed the night away. Before they knew it, Ethan and Casey were pulling up to their new home they would share for the rest of their lives. "Casey.... honey..." Ethan whispered as he gently woke his new wife up "Hm?" Casey hummed as she sat up looking confused "We're home" Ethan said softly, and Casey responded with a smile. After he had stepped out, Ethan held out his hand to help Casey out of the limo and together they stepped into their new home ready to start the next chapter of their lives together. 

[robyndehood]

My Son's Story (pt. 1)

DISCLAIMER: I Know it's a bit of a long read, but it's important. Please read. I promise it isn't boring. Thank you!

Hi Everyone,

Intro

This is my first real attempt at Tumblr. Please contact me if anything I post violates a rule or is not considered appropriate. Anything I post, I truly mean no harm nor offense to anyone. But I need to write daily again to regain my gift and share it with the world. I have been working on my version of the "great American novel" for years. As a child, I was well on my way to becoming a successful author, but people had other ideas for my career path - and to put it bluntly - my contribution to society. Writer's block set in and then what was second nature to me - creative writing, became a lost skill. Or maybe a distant memory. Writers know that half the struggle as an artist is the dilemma of our own aspiration towards perfection. But nothing is perfect. It is a social construct and the antithesis of true beauty.

The Ultimate Birthday Gift

So, that said, let's talk about my son. He's three - he's actually turning four in December. He was born on my birthday and has been the greatest gift that I have ever received. I won't pretend that he is perfect or even generally compliant with my directions. But he's loving. He's empathetic. He's brilliant. He's beautiful. And most of all, he is the sweetest person I have ever met.

I am going to go slightly off-topic for a bit; just to paint the full picture. I don't want to ramble and I am definitely a believer that a short and to the point message is almost always far superior to a long and complicated message. But bear with me because this snippet of the backstory is essential. And my son's story is important.

Appalachia

We live in Pittsburgh, part of the Appalachian Mountain Range. There is no other way to say it than the unadulterated, ugly truth of it - Pittsburgh is racist. Very racist. Beyond that, there is a general lack of common courtesy to outsiders, customers of businesses, other patrons in stores, etc. And the rudeness, is actually pretty much unrelated to the racism. It sounds strange and surely, minorities who are on the receiving end of it would certainly assume that racism was the reason why they said "excuse me," "thank you," etc. and about half the time are ignored like they're a ghost. But don't get it twisted - there are many times the aforementioned behaviors by many Pittsburghers IS induced by racism AND a lack of common courtesy and manners. You see, their deep-seated tribalism is indoctrinated into many Pittsburghers so completely from a young age that they know no different. It would be difficult for them to understand this article and I'd bet anyone ten bucks that if enough PIttsburghers read this post - they will attack my analysis of Pittsburghese culture as though the post itself is a blitz on the entire city.

Brown or White?

I am latin and there aren't many latins in Pittsburgh. But when we moved to Pittsburgh when I was in seventh grade, people knew my last name. Summer had just passed and I do get brown. I can get brown very quickly in the right type of sun and I get brown eventually in the sun that exists in cloudy and northern Pittsburgh. In seventh grade, some boys decided it would be funny to call me "estupido," and up until two years ago, I avoided sun exposure that would reveal my "brownness" like the plague.

Subversive, Subconscious, and Secret Racism

So, not long after I started that strategy, I was treated as white. (Side note: latins can be any race; but it seems that societal constructs are seeking to change this long accepted designation and categorize latins as some in between, brown race and not an ethnicity. To be honest, I am ok with that and now proud to be latin.)

The reality of being treated white in Pittsburgh for many years was that I learned what white people actually said when they were only with other whites. The most common thing that was said was one white person mumbling to other white people that someone was a "dumb n******" or a "dumb monkey." I've heard white adults refer to children who were black as "n***lets." But it was always this crocodile smiling through their teeth behavior. They'd never dare say it to a black person. Instead, they'd just indirectly discriminate against them.

I do have to mention that by no means do all Pittsburghers behave this way. It's just too many of them. I don't know the percentage, but if I had to guess I'd say - 50% plus.

Yes, Racism Happens All The Time Even if You Don't See it Happen

Many white people will tell you that racism is gone because they don't ever observe it and Obama was president - a black president. Therefore, everything is now over. I can admit that I have experienced my share of discrimination when my skin darkens. But I had no clue how bad it was for black people out here until my son became the recipient of the ugliness of it all. To me, racists are by definition ignorant cowards; so it makes sense they'd pick on a small boy whose only family is his mother.

Evil Always Starts Slowly

If one reviews history, every evil dictator or regime began slowly chipping away human rights. By the time the citizens realized the dire state of their country, it was too late. Their freedoms were already taken away and mechanisms to fight back had also been methodically erased.

When my son was born - a boy who is half African (his father (if you want to call him that since he is basically not involved) is from Ghana); no issues arose for the first two and a half years. But then the indirect discrimination started. The same rules that applied for white children didn't apply to him. I could give so many examples. But let's just say, as a rambunctious boy, if my son mimicked a white boy's same rambunctious behavior, we were confronted and the white family was not confronted.

One day I made an appointment for my son's hair to get cut at Philip Pelusi. They made the appointment knowing that he was only two and a half. The receptionist let me know that the stylist was a "Grade A Stylist," so I would have to pay more. I was fine with paying more; cool. After the appointment was made, I mentioned to the receptionist that my son was mixed race. We ended the call and I began to get my son ready to leave. Within ten minutes, the salon called back and informed me that they didn't/wouldn't cut my son's "type of hair." I promptly returned the call and explained his hair was curly, that's all. They blatantly lied and told me that the stylist doesn't cut ANY curly hair. Right. So, if a white lady came in with curly hair she would be turned away? I doubt it. Either way, the stylist is "Grade A." She is also licensed to cut hair by the state. Shouldn't a requirement for state licensing require one to know how to cut all "types of hair"?; I saved the recording, by the way, and still have it.

As months progressed, little by little wherever my son and I went in "white areas," we felt hostile vibes. Other incidents occurred that couldn't be proven as racial discrimination, but I knew. Whites behaved as though my son didn't deserve to be around them.

Southern Hospitality

We traveled down south a few times in the past year. Yes, some of the south is very racist still to this day. But not where we drove. Suddenly people responded when we said "excuse me," "thank you," etc. No white families prevented my son from playing with their children. No one told me my son was a nuisance or put out that vibe.

The Lesser of Two Evils?

But we had to come back each time because we live here and I've been working my way out of the projects that I have lived in for four years. Shootings. Open drug use and sales. The smell of crack in the hallways. Infestations in other apartments that come our way no matter what we try. People peeing on the hallway floors. Yes, seriously. Young children being encouraged to bully and beat up other kids. Children stealing or attempting to steal my son's toys because their mothers buy them none. Gamgmembers as young as twelve.

So, I concluded: "yes, we will move, but until then, we only sleep in our apartment and we do not play at the projects' playground." I figured IF I saved a certain number of money since I have a car that I saved for and bought last year, we would make it in our new, chosen city (Tampa or Jacksonville).

But then the racism against my son in the "white playgrounds" became worse. One day he was playing with a five year old boy at an indoor playground. The mother had no issue with it. The father of the boy arrived half an hour in, promptly scooped the boy away from my son, and told his son that he had told him he was not to "play with n*****s." My son couldn't understand why he could no longer play with his new friend and kept calling to him, "friends again!" while sobbing because he thought he had upset the boy. I had to leave with my son because of it.

Another time, a ten-year-old boy taunted my son on an outdoor playground and called him a "dumb monkey." My son first attempted to yell, "I NOT DUMB MONKEY," a few times; but the boy persisted and even smirked in my direction. My son ran to me and asked me to make the boy stop. No parent in sight and again, I just had to leave with my son.

Enough is Enough

Finally, last month or so, my son and I were at our usual laundromat doing laundry. We had finished. My son skipped a few steps in front of me and tried to open the glass door but couldn't push the bar to open it because of his height. He placed (yes, placed..lightly) his foot on the door to try to give it a bit more of a nudge. I was a few seconds behind him so just pushed the door open and we went to our car to load our clean laundry into it. In retrospect, I saw an older white male go next door to the beer store right after we walked out of the laundromar. The beer store employee approached us as I loaded my laundry into my car and then intended to leave.

The beer store employee told me he was getting "reports that kids were kicking glass." He said kids. Plural. And what he said made me envision a bunch of grade school kids kicking around broken glass on the sidewalk or parking lot. I responded calmly that "I have one kid and he's been with me the whole time. He wasn't involved." The beer store employee wanted drama to transpire. It was obvious. He said in a threatening manner: "Just so you know, I have cameras." My son and I exchanged glances because we were confused. What kids? Kids were kicking glass. Where? What glass?

Again though, I calmly responded that my son wasn't involved and he should check his cameras. He told me he was calling the cops. So I got my three-year-old son in his car seat and set a time limit of ten minutes to wait. We weren't running when he didn't do anything. The cops of course showed up about a minute later. It's ridiculous because in our projects (different police department than the laundromat police department), there have been shootings where children were outside playing when several clips were emptied into crowds and the police station is a block away. I know people called and it took an hour for them to arrive on scene.

Long story short, the laundromat cops knew it was a bullshit call. The supposed "kicking glass" was because my son placed his foot on the door to try to open it when we were LEAVING. The police eventually informed us that was the alleged "kicking of glass." There was no kicking that happened. The door wasn't even dirtier, let alone damaged because my son tried to use his foot to open the door. Lightly, by the way.

Even though the police were kind to my son, for the next week, my usual gregarious child was terrified to go anywhere. He eventually told me it was because "the cops will chase me and take me to jail because I bad guy now."

He's over it now. Mostly.

But we still have to pick between the craziness of playing at our aforementioned projects or going to a "white playground" and risking my son being rejected. It's usually a 50/50 shot that he will be rejected. If he gets rejected, he gets very upset.

Again, these are problems we never faced on our travels down the southern eastern seaboard. We didn't get treated like this at the destinations or on the journey by car to and from the destinations.

I knew we were living in an extremely racist and rude area, but one day I found this. It's a map delineating the results of a study conducted by Google and others regarding the level of racism in different parts of the country.

I already knew this much. But it's good to know I'm right that we are in the worst part of the U.S. for racism and the kindness we received traveling to those certain southern states was no illusion. And I did ask locals before I found this map if I was right that people are kinder to all colors in whichever given area.

Not the Worst Thing That Happened But the Last Straw

People talk a lot about Karens these days. This lady looked like she jumped right out of a Karen meme. My son was two feet away from her while we waited in line and she said as obnoxiously as possible: "Can you handle this? Please get him out of MY space." Yeah, I didn't let it go. At all. Her argument was that she said "please" so it's OK to make my son feel like a "this" and not a little boy. I held him while he sobbed. Long story short, I decided right then anywhere has to be better than this.

It isn't me just knowing people are being nasty to my son and I'm upset. He understands. He had an evaluation for something and he tested very well. He cried about each of these incidents. He just wants to make people smile and make friends.

So, next month we are going for it. I'm no where close to the aforementioned goal. I have some savings. We may end up in shelters at first after savings dry up in a few weeks. But we cannot survive up here. Nor can we advance here.

Side Note

I wrote this mostly to inform others of the status quo and reality of racism and the real effects it has on one tiny boy. And I know it will just get worse if we stay since it's this bad already.

But if you anyone knows of any resources to help us get on our feet in a month in Tampa or Jacksonville (Tampa is my first choice, but either one.) I have applied for housing, even though I didn't and don't want to go back to projects; but I'd take one down there over watching my son endure so much pain any day of the week.

Ok, so final part: I'm going to say upfront I feel extremely awkward with this paragraph because this isn't my way (years before my son was born I was homeless for a stint and never sat with a sign or a cup. Just couldn't do it), but for my son, I'm going to drop my cashtag here. Everyone is struggling and I know there are people with much worse problems. I appreciate anyone who has read this far and can help spread the reality of what I wrote about. That's the reason for the article; but if help is received at all because of it, we would be grateful but it's definitely a far second most important reason for the post. Here it goes, for my baby, in case it'll change his life and give us that better foot up, here it is: $RobyndeHood