#artistic genius and master of ripping our hearts out
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it would appear I cannot contain my mania to the tags alone, for I have hit the 30 tag limit, so concisely continuing:
1- I LOVE HER SO MUCH
2- YOU DID FUCKING AMAZING SHE'S SO SO SO SO COOL
3- PERFECTION.
4- the genshin artstyle really does bbgify people, huh
5- the way I had to stifle a scream when I saw "Eula" and the unhinged violent screeching it turned to when I read "Vetur" tHAAT ASSHOLE- anyway
6- the two of them when they were young always make me so emotional AHhh đ
7- but. You know what makes more onions?? THAT. LAST. DIALOGUE.
8- Please never stop this heart trampling. It's incredible.
9- I am sO SLEEP-DEPRIVED ok byeeeeee :)
[Seiren âą Starsilver Sparrow]
âEula, how would you feel if I suddenly get amnesia, hm? You know like Vetur finally having enough of me and shoving me off the balconyâ" âSister, Sir Meier would have a stroke if he were listening to our conversation,â Eula briskly piped in, lowering her chipped teacup with a delicate clink before shooting an eagle-like glare at her older sister. âHowever, more importantly why would you suggest such wretched events? Is Vetur being bothersome, once again? I thought he had become responsible and stopped after I had made him slip on his own clothesâMMF.â The older sister groaned, plucking another biscuit from the tray and warningly held it up to the youngerâs girlâs indignant glower as she menacingly munched.
âItâs only hypothetical, you funny little lemon. Iâll get a mirror - youâre all blown up like an angry pufferfish.â She tapped the biscuit against Eulaâs scrunched up nose and slowly pushed it into her mouth. âKeep this up and youâll only get porridge for the next week, you hear me?â - - -
Pain rattled through her gritted teeth as a gloved fist yanked her up by her knotted hair. Smouldering eyes of glowing coal glowered down resentfully at her behind a cracked mask, with the distant groaning curses of fallen Fatui heard in the background as they attempted to crawl out from pieces of rubble and jutting stalagmites of golden creedite.
âWhat the hell is this?â
She smirked, blood smudged across her battered lips. Past the shattered frame of the tavernâs window, the hilt of the scythe glinted in the flickering broken light and Adrikâs hand curled over its blade in a last futile attempt.
How bloody damn hilarious.
âHey! What are you gawking at?â The agent jerked onto her hair, his fire-water tinged breath spewing against her face, âDamn it, are you deaf?! Listen to me, you knight fool!!â
Blunt spikes dug into her cheek as a gauntlet slammed against her face. She spat out a hoarse curse, blood spattering from her lips and she venomously fixed a glare at the bloodless grin. Knees immediately slammed to the rocky ground, as the agent dropped her to the ground. Gloved fingers reached to peel away the draped bloodied locks of hair from her face, crooked teeth stretched.
âNow, I can see my punching bag a bit more clearly.â He leered, flicking a strand of copper with deep chuckle rumbling from his throat, âOh! Look at this blood - So young and vibrant!â
Acrid burning crawled up her throat, eyes dilated in trembling rage. She smacked away the lingering touches, letting wisps of hair tear out from her bloodied hairline.
âGet ya damn mitts out of my hair.â she hissed out, defiance sharply flashing across her glower, âAnd just get this over and done with, you bastard.â The agent coughed out a surprised laugh, flexing the stained brass reinforcers with eager clicks. He stepped back as he pulled the flask from his jacket and popped its lid off, swinging its contents down his mouth. He wound in his fingers into an anticipating fist while he drew it back. Bracing for the impact, she closed her eyes as she tightly held her vision in her bleeding hand.
âIâd rather die remembering the lifetime we spent together, than not recognise your face when I see you again.â - - - YIPPEEE finally was able to finish this phew. Anyways say hello to Seiren, my chaotic little limb-hogging treasure hoarder! She's one of my older guys, she's been in my brain since 2022! She's one of Rai's old friends and I can't wait to yap about her, about her wife and about her daughter, and also yap about the whole Aster's Oath. She's one of the characters who are highly important to the main storyline! (Yes I did look at the genshin treasure hoarders and went what if murderous lesbean. and yes that is how she was birthed) Ok lols I'll stop rambling, but please keep an eye out for her in future stuff! :D
-> Got the drip marketing background from @/chie_zuu on twitter!
#AAAHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#fuck I need to stop dropping my phone when I see maehwa notifs#SHE'S HERE SHE'S FINALLY HERE#THAT SPLASHART THOUGH ABSOLUTELY STUNNING#THE GOLD DETAILS ARE SO INTRICATE AND SHINY AND BEAUTIFUL#AND THE WHOLE THING LOOKS SO WARM AND SO SEIREN#AND the blood on her face. Is cool. Yes#cool. I'm sane. that's the only adjective i have for it totally ahaha#*ANYWAY MOVING ON* AND THE DRAGONSPINE SNOW ON THE ROCKS???? SO FLUFFY SUCH CONTRAST#AND YOU DREW THE ROCKS SO AWESOME I wanna eat NO BUT FR SPEAKING OF EATING#YOU ATE THAT ART AND LEFT NO CRUMBS#I think that's the saying but I am not good at internet speak#AND HER CONSTELLATION????#ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. MARVELLOUS. BREATHTAKING.#The arrow is foul. uncalled for. making me sob when I'm already crying enough over finals /lh#ALSO BACK TO THE SPLASHART IT LOOKS SO VIVID AND EPIC#AND THE GOLD CRACKS IN THE ROCK LOOK SO COOOOOOOL#AND BACK TO THE CONSTELLATION OH MY FUCKING GODS HOW DO YOU MAKE IT SO COOL#you're literally better at this than genshin.#I will stand by that#all praise maehwa#artistic genius and master of ripping our hearts out#ALSO THE SCRATCH THROUGH THE ALLIANCES SECTION AND THE BLOOD SPLATTER AHHHHH IT SUITS HER SO WELL#AND HER TITLES AND PRIDEFUL DECEIT AND EVERYTHING ARE SO COOL#AND [REDACTED]'S QUOTE ABOUT HER SOUNDS SO EPIC AND HONESTLY FAIR SHE'S ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING#fuck I love her so much#(she could easily kill me /pos)#AND THE DIALOGUE. AND THE DESCRIPTION. ARE. ALL. SO. FUCKING. ***COOL***#apologies for the excessive amount of tags and me going a wee bit insane - I'm running off 3 hours of sleep and I'm very happy Sei's here!!#her just casually stealing Paimon like YOINK absolutely iconic
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The Forgotten - Part Four Temptation
Part four of my self indulgent smut and angst filled fic.Â
SMUT SMUT SMUT (I know why youâre here)
In itâs entiretyÂ
She could see Donnie; plain as fucking day but behind what seemed like a blue portal in flux. The light was in the middle of a giant arch, something the genius had been working on for years but was unable to get powered up. He had told her it was supposed to be a window between dimensions or possibly more. Leo had hoped it would be an easier way to move from Earth to the battle nexus and visiting Usagi but when the war had started it was abandoned for more important issues.
 It was like looking at an old tube television that didnât have the best reception. The rolling lines of static rolled up the portal skewing her view of him occasionally but there was no doubt, it was her beautiful nerd.
She could see most of his body and he was typing away at a tablet in his hand. His goggles that sat upon his bald crown were smaller yet looked more advanced but that purple mask was still wrapped around his skull. Her feet moved before her mind caught up with them racing towards the gorgeous sight of the tall genius. âDon!â
 His head snapped up at her voice âAurora!â Donâs voice was muffled like static, distant but she heard him. God he looked beautiful and most importantly alive!
 The view of the tall terrapin in the vortex suddenly became unstable swirling violently around him. Shrinking and growing with each pop of energy, like it was threatening to sever the connection at any moment. Aurora hurried to cross the large lab but the closer she got to it, the smaller the portal seemed. It was going away; she was going to lose him again!
 âDamnit!â She heard him growl looking down at the tablet that was now out of sight. âItâs still not right.â His brown eyes rose in sheer panic locked in on his advancing kunoichi. Donatelloâs green arm pushed through the closing vortex outstretched for contact. âAurora!â
 âNo! Donnie!â She reached his hand just in time grasping it tightly reveling in the feeling of his three fingered appendage, he was warm and real. âWhere are you?â she was nearly sobbing now as the portal shrunk further leaving only his shoulders and head visible. Her grip tightened on his hand ready to yank his tall ass through the opening. But then the warm flesh in her hand began to disappear, fazing in and out of solid matter much to her horror. No, she didnât want to me alone anymoreâŠ..
 âAuoâŠ.râŠaâŠâŠIâm âŠstâŠâŠtryiâŠâŠ.to getâŠâŠ.back.â his voice was breaking up along with the view of him.
 âNo, no, no Donnie please I need you!â
 âMyâŠ.brothâŠ..I misâŠâŠ..Aur...loveâŠâŠâŠâ Then the portal snapped and fizzled loudly before shutting down with a bang taking Donatello with it.
 The lab sank into darkness once again as the arch powered down. He was right there; she was touching himâŠ..after 3 years Aurora had Donatello within her grasp. The crushing realization he was gone again brought Aurora to her knees. The cement floor was unforgiving but that pain didnât matter. Her hands lifted to her nose and took a good pull finding his scent there, faint but it was there. She pressed the palms of her hands to her face trying not to cry, this wasnât a bad thing, she had to remind herself. They thought he was dead; the idea of Donnie abandoning them was too incomprehensible to entertain so the other options were terrifying. Or maybe he was locked away in Bishopâs keep doing work for him against his will, the one they could never find. But now, now it was clear he had been transported someplace, someplace he was trying to return from. He was trying to get back; she had to hold onto that, it was all she had.
 Slowly she got her to feet, the resistance needed to know this. Maybe there was something they could do. Casey, April and Aurora could bring the arch back to head quarters and see if they could get it back open, find the last location of the transmission?
 Aurora began closing the Lair back down prepping for its extended hibernation. One last look at their bed she flicked off the light and made her way back up into streets of New York. April and Casey would be happy to know Donatello was alive and it would give the resistance new hope. It gave her hope.
 She kept to the roofs avoiding prying eyes from the streets. The way home was straight forward but still on high alert Aurora took a few extra turns to make sure she wasnât being followed, even sitting in the shadows of a billboard to keep an eye on the horizon. There was no telling how persistence Raphael was in this state.
 When she deemed it safe to return to base Aurora slipped into the abandoned warehouse by the Hudson keeping to the shadows.  Moving past the old canning machinery and empty shattered crates the blonde made it to the secret door to the resistanceâs base.
 As she reached the main level Aurora was greeted by April and Casey who looked like they had just returned their selves hands filled with boxes. April turned and let out a long breath seeing her friend returned safely.
 Casey set down the two boxes he had been carrying and greeted the kunoichi with a hug. âYou ran into him? Howâd the asshole look?â
 âHeâs looking healthy and still a horny shit as usual.â Aurora moved to the boxes he had been carrying and peered into them finding canned goods and a small stash of ammunition. âEven under Bishopâs control he still has sex on the brain. I think his memories were trying to break through though. Raph remembered the game him and Leo used to play.â
 âWho marked you first right?â April chuckled handing off her extra weapon to the armory for safe keeping. âThey were relentless werenât they? I donâtâ know how you accommodated them every morning. You were lucky Mike and Don didnât get into that.â
 âYeah...â Casey chimed in handing off his gun as well. âThey would have put you in a wheelchair for sure. They were in rut most of the time I canât imagine four of them vying for the first fuck every morning. Youâd never leave bed.â
 âThey werenât that badâŠâ
 âCommanders!â a voice shouted from down the hall. A young soldier came into view hauling ass as he ran to his superiors. His wide toothy grin was evident he had good news or at least thought he did. âWe have one!â
 âYou have one what?â Casey looked to April confused.
 âOne of the turtles! We caught one! We wanted to surprise you.â
 All at once Aurora, Casey and April stopped breathing turning to each other in shock. This was not happening, what had they done?
 April swallowed hard moving towards the eager young man, âWhich one?â
 âFrom what Iâve been told, Leonardo.â
 With the mention of his name the room began to spin. Auroraâs heart hammered into her chest making it hard to breath. This wasnât happening. She pushed past April and gripped the manâs shoulders squeezing maybe a little too hard with her growing unease. âPlease tell me you didnât bring him here.â
 The manâs face paled instantly mouth opening to speak but nothing came forth. His silence was all the answer they needed.
 âFuck.â Casey moved back to the armory and called for his gun again. âThatâs it, weâre fucked you god damn morons.â
 âYou fucking idiot.â Aurora growled pulling the inexperienced solider closer; she was ready to rip his head off his shoulders. âYou did NOT catch Leonardo!â It was suddenly hot in the large hallway. Why was it so fucking hot?  âThis was planned, Leonardo allowed you to catch him. Now heâs in the base compromising our position putting everyone here in danger. Please tell me you at least blindfolded him? Tell me you at least did that?â
 âOh yes! We put Gregâs sound canceling headphones over his ears blasting his shitty music. Wrapped his eyes in black gauze and put a thick black hood over his head. He has no idea where we are.â
 âAt least you had the sense to do that. But it might not be enough. Where is he?â April grunted in frustration resting her forehead on Caseyâs shoulder.
 The soldierâs enthusiasm had dwindled with the curt scolding from his three superiors and now as he brought them to their willing captive the manâs head hung with embarrassment.
 As they moved towards the baseâs center, where the lethal mutant was being held Auroraâs mind began to fill with anxiety. This is what he wanted; you donât capture Leo unless he wants you too. He was a ninja master, taught by the very best and an efficient escape artist and a strategist, he was simply perfection. It was the very reasons Bishop coveted him and his brothers. In the wrong hands they were the prefect weapon, skilled killing machines that disappear into the shadows before you even knew you lost. This would not end well.
 Rounding the corner Aurora caught sight of him right away. Green taut skin stretch over mountains of muscle, thick arms and legs bound to the table in the integration room. His vision was still restricted but as soon as Aurora entered into the room Leoâs head turned towards her and she could see the fabric concave as he took in the air.
 âThere you are.â His smooth voice purred through the fabric going straight to the center of her soul. She was in trouble and there was no denying her body still remembered him, craved him, just the deep vibrato of his vocal chords sent her body into overdrive. Â
 Leoâs head followed Aurora as she moved around the table taking in his bound form. She watched his muscles flex and bunch as the terrapin tested his binds, calculating his options. The urge to touch the green scales of his arms was tempting, he was restrained but it was only a matter of time before he broke loose and reeked havoc on the good people here. She needed to prevent the bloodshed but how?
 April broke the bitter silence first her voice rising with her anger for their disregard of protocol. âHow could you idiots bring him here without consulting us first? Especially Leonardo!â
 âWe thought youâd be happy April. You too AuroraâŠ..especially youâŠ..Weâve been trying to get them back for years.â One solider stated as he stepped forward, the look on his face was of confusion but he had no idea what they brought down on their home. âHe attacked us on our supply run and all of us were able to overpower him.â
 âYes we want them back but not still under Bishopâs influence!â Casey came in next starting to pace the floor eyeing up his soldiers.
 Aurora paid no attention to the continuing argument between Casey, April and their team, the only thing that mattered was the green mutant laying a few inches from her. As she watched his hands clench and unclench Aurora remembered their soft caresses, endearing and sure. They were talented beyond anything she could have imagined when they first experienced each other. This deadly being, sleek, and inefficient so feared now, once brought her to the highest heights. She loved him without question but she knew if these restraints were gone he wouldnât hesitate to kill her in this state of mind. Her fingers ran over the scar he had gifted her a few months ago. It was a sobering thought and a gloomy one.
 It was killing her being this close to Leo and not being able to touch him. Just a small touch couldnât hurtâŠcould it? Her hand moved from the cold metal table and ran over the dense muscles of his thigh. She smirked as they jumped at the connection; maybe fearless was a little anxious after all.
 âI have an idea.â Leo spoke again calm as ever yet pressing up into her hand. âHow about we take this blind fold off, itâs getting rather itchy. Is this any way to treat a prisoner?â
 Aurora let a small laugh escape giving his thigh a quick squeeze before releasing the dense tissue. âCut the shit Leo, we know well enough that youâre here on your own accord.â
 âYour troops got the better of me and subdued me with their superior skills; I am at your mercy my lady.â She could hear the sarcasm in his voice as Leo played out his game. She couldnât see his mouth but Aurora could hear the smile, it absolutely dripped with superiority.
 âWhere are your brothers Leo?â Aurora asked softly as the whole room watched their interaction.
 âOh I assure you I am solo. When Raph came home he was rather frustrated. Told me he had gone looking for something we both covet, actually all three of us want but was unable to secure it. I decided I would try to locate it on my own. Besides, the thought of taking it first made me veryâŠâŠâŠ motivated. Unfortunately I was found and taken captive by these fine soldiers before I could find my target.â
 Her heart began to thump wildly within her breast at the thought of his words, âWhat will you do when you finally get what youâre looking for?â
 The terrapin took in a slow breath before letting it out in a long low growl, âI havenât figured that out yet. What does one do with something they obsess over? Kill it or let it consume you? All I know is Iâm looking forward to the opportunity to purge myself of its influence.â
 Casey came up behind Aurora resting his hand on her shoulder. âMaybe we can send him to R & D and see if they can find that little thing in him? I mean now we know what it looks like maybe they can pin point it somehow?â
 That was something. There would need to be round the clock security on him but if he was here they could try and utilize the opportunity to see if they could locate the device with a living host. âHe does not leave this table and his restraints will NOT be removed for any reason. Any reason you hear me!? Not without Casey, Aprilâs or my explicit orders.â Her violet eyes moved with urgency as the soldiers took in her orders. âThere will be no less than six guards posted to him at all times. If he tries to fidget more than usual you knock his ass out. Am I clear?â
 âYes Aurora.â They all responded in unison. Â
 The sound of the terrapin laughing behind her was off putting but she did her best to ignore him, she was too tired for this bullshit.
 As they carted Leonardo out the door towards the R & D wing she heard him, âIâll be seeing you later Aurora.â
 The room empty April moved to her friend wrapping her arms around her neck pulling her into a tight embrace. âYou look like shit.â
 âThanks.â
 âHow was the lair? Anything need attending?â  Casey asked softly coming up behind the two woman.
 Thatâs when Aurora remembered, she pushed April from her embrace and her face lit up, âDonnie!â
 âWhat about him?â
 âHeâs alive! I saw him for a few second today! In the lair, in his lab!â
 Casey and Aprilâs mouth hung open still trying to process what the kunoichi was saying.
 âFucking what?â Casey moved first his eyes wide and hopeful. âWhy for only a few seconds? Where the fuck is the genius?!â
 âDo you remember that big arch he was working on, the one he said would be a doorway to different dimensions? It happened right after I got off the phone with you. I could hear something going on in his lab and opened the door to that thing powered up and Donnie just behind the blue energy field.â
 âNo fucking way! What did he say?â April was now bouncing up and down smacking Casey on the back waiting for more information. Â
 âOww Ape, fuckin stop it.â
 âNo! Keep going Aurora.â
 âThe portal was unstable and began closing right away and the connection was shottie. His voice was breaking up but I heard him say that it wasnât right yet and he was still trying to get back.â Auroraâs voice was cracking with her exhaustion and her bubbling emotions, it had been months since she had a good nightâs sleep and it was catching up with her. Taking a small second she recomposed herself and started again. âHeâs not dead and he didnât abandon us. God I wish the guys were here to hear this.â Another shaky swallow of her dry mouth and Aurora looked up at her hopeful friends.  âIâm not sure if we should bring the arch back here and see if we can figure out where the last transmission came from or if we should just wait until he figures it out? The thing is, I never saw it working before. Did he go to the lair the last day we saw him to work on it and did something go wrong? Mikey was certain he saw him go into his lab here before we went to bed.â
 Then two sets of hands landed on her shoulders making the kunoichi stop. Aprilâs hands cupped her cheeks and leaned in to press a soft kiss to her parched lips. âTake a deep breath Rora, we are so happy you were there to witness it. It gives us hope, but I can tell youâre about to crash, you need some sleep.â
 âYeah weâll have this discussion when youâve had at least 6 hours sleep. Weâll deal with Leo and the arch when youâre a little more rested. Sheâs right you do look like shit and today has been an emotional one for you.
âFor us all.â Aurora corrected him with a shuttering breath.
 âSleep.â
 Begrudgingly Aurora shuffled to her room, her large empty room and didnât even bother with a shower. She could swear she still smelt Raphael on her and maybe, just maybe that would help her sleep. Maybe she could trick her mind into thinking he was there sleeping at her side. She stripped of her clothes and crawled into bed pulling the cool covers up to her chin.
 Closing her eyes Aurora pictured Raphael and Leonardo, the brute and his taste, her lips rejoicing at his familiar flavor and Leoâs voice and the feel of his skin. Then Donnie and the quick but thankful handful of his grasp, all it was missing was her ball of sunshine, Mikey. With their memories fresh in her mind Auroraâs subconscious began to drift allowing her a seamless transition to slumber. Â
 She didnât hear the door open or the bed dip with his weight but as the cold steal pressed down on the soft flesh of her throat Aurora knew it was too late. She didnât struggle there was no point in it, if she moved even an inch the way he didnât want he could soak theses sheets they had once shared with her blood.
 Her eyes opened slowly, Leonardoâs face coming into focus as the sleep faded from her vision. The terrapin was just above her and the look he wore was purely sinful. Like the cat that had just eaten the canary or was about too. Aurora swallowed feeling the mutant finish crawling onto the bed to join her.
 âH-how many did you kill?â
 A soft patronizing chuckle filtered from between his perfect lips. The blade clutched in his hand tilted making Auroraâs neck follow, that was if she didnât want her carotid to open. âDonât worry, I took no lives tonight.â Leo shifted forward grabbing at the thin sheet that covered her naked form and began to pull. âI came here for only one reason tonight and killing your people would put a rather large kink in my plans.â
 She didnât resist and allowed the fabric to pull free of her breasts watching the blue in his eyes disappear as his pupils engulfed the vibrant color. âYou mean your men.â
 Leonardoâs breathing had increased but his hold on that damn blade never wavered. âYours, mine, it makes no difference, I did not kill a soul within these walls. They will wake in a few hours with splitting headaches.â  His lips pursed for a moment focusing in on the two round globes now heaving on her chest. âThey are more spectacular then what I could have imagined.â The descent of fabric halted for a moment as Leonardoâs head lowered and his nostrils flared. âI can smell him on you.â
 âYour brother? Yes, Raphael was rather insistent that he have me before you.â Aurora rose slowly making sure not to make any sudden movements keeping her eyes locked with her deadly guest. âHe found out just how inventive I can be.â
 Leo allowed her to rise to a sitting position finding as he did the rest of the fabric fell pooling at the ultimate prize. Her midriff wasnât perfect, the scare he had left months ago plus a few others that kept it company had healed nicely. His free hand reached out touching lightly at the abrasion smiling as the muscles below jump at his contact. âRaphael is impulsive, undisciplined but none the less is the very best on my team. When he told me you got the better of him tonight my already peaked interest in you heightened. I didnâtâ dare tell him the mere scent of you on his clothes sent my animal instincts into overdrive. Now smelling him on you makes me want to drench you in my scent.â
 âItâs presumptuous to think Iâd allow that to happen if I refused Raphaelâs advances earlier.â Auroraâs voice shook slightly as her confidence waned at the sight of him looming closer, eyes practically fucking her. Suddenly the walls of her sodden cunt began to vibrate with unparallel need.
 âYou forget my little ninja; Iâm mutant and part animal.â His nostrils flared once again. âI can smell your arousal, its delectable aroma is thick and I can taste it on my tongue. In fact I am positive you want me just as much as I want you. Maybe even more?â Leo closed his eyes and took a deep breath growling as her pheromones made every pleasure receptor snap to life. âFuckâŠ. why do I want you so much?â
 That was when she heard the desperation in his voice, it was faint, but she could hear the slight tremor in his words. He was breaking under the stress of uncertainty. That was her moment and she moved with all her training taking possession of his weapon and lunged forward.
 In the scuffle the sheets pulled free and Aurora found herself on his lap, arm securely around his throat pressing the tip to his jugular. Their mouths were so close, so fucking close and she could smell the tea on his breath as it fanned over her face. Leonardo still drank the same Gyokuro brew; his expensive taste followed him into servitude. Fuck, she didnât think this through at all. She was naked straddling his thick powerful thighs and she could feel it, straining against his pants pulsating with each beat of his heart. Â
 âTell me Iâm lying.â He mused but found his cockiness underappreciated and sucked in a breath as the tip of the blade pierced the green scales drawing a bead of crimson. But he was a stubborn turtle and refused to back down. âIf we were something, show me. Remind me of what Iâve been missing all these years.  Your scent, your god damn scent has been haunting me for months, haunting us. I donât do this⊠I donâtâŠâŠ I donât lose control and all I want to do is bury myself so far in your body that I forget everything. Forget this war; forget why I donât feel at home anywhere but with you, someone I have absolutely no memory of. Do you have any idea how infuriating that is?â
 He had no fucking clue; her bitter laughter filled the room, âTry loosing the people you love the most for years, coming up empty handed in your pursuit to find them again and again. Then suddenly they appear with no knowledge of you, dead set on your demise. Try enduring the pain of being sliced open by one of the men you love and as you bleed out he wraps his hands around your throat slowly squeezing the life out of you.â
 She watched the cockiness drain from his face, unexpectedly at the loss for words. The hardness in his cold blue eyes softened searching her for the truth. He was contemplating something.
 She continued, âRaphael remembered something tonight, a game you and him used to play. I think smelling me on him jogged your memory a little as well.â
 The terrapin let out a long sigh and she could feel a little of the tension leave his body, he was no longer coiled to strike, âI wasnât angry or jealous. It was strangeâŠâŠit was just the competitiveness; he had gotten to you first. â
 âTell me Leo, why did you come to my home?â
 âFor you.â His voice was but a whisper, soft and sweet against her lips, the venom slowly disappearing with the space between them.
 Auroraâs tongue moved across her bottom lip tasting his breath, he was so close. âWhat do you want with me?â
 âI had two plans; one would rid me of the temptation and the otherâŠâŠâŠ. would satisfy it.â
 âI see since I am still breathing I deduce youâve chosen the latter.â Her hips rotated slightly brushing the bulging fabric of his crotch against her folds, so close. âWhat was next on your plan then?â
 His vibrant blue eyes moved from her violet eyes to her lips before moistening his own with his tongue. âToâŠto taste you. I need to know what you taste like.â Â
 Keeping the blade semi embedded Aurora leaned forward closing the last inch granting Leonardo what he craved, she in turn savoring him. The tea and his scent invaded her senses as she opened her mouth entering Leonardoâs with her tongue swiping over his finding it just as eager.
 Then she heard it, his rumble the deep vibrating growl that emanated deep within his chest pouring out and into her mouth. Over and over their mouths engaged and reengaged in a desperate battle, breathless and aggressive feeding off each otherâs growing excitement. Leo made no attempt for the weapon, but his hands moved to her naked waist pushing her down coating his pants with her arousal gaining just enough friction he yearned for.
 Aurora whimpered into his mouth, what was she doing? What the fuck was she doing? Her body was moving on its own but she didnât want it to stop. Her hand moved between them fumbling for the belt buckle of his pants making quick work of them. Her deft fingers unbuttoned the top of his pants and drew the metal teeth of his zipper down keeping it free is the sensitive flesh below.
 It didnât wait for an invitation and sprung free as itâs clothe prison was peeled away. She could smell him now, the salty musk of his precum that was smeared over the spongy head of his freed cock. Her fingers encompassed the remarkable girth and the tip of her thumb dipped into the moister swirling it under the head making the terrapin gasp. Â
 Breaking their kiss Aurora sunk the tip of the blade in further and Leo growled in reaction. âTell me what you really came here for Fearless?â rising up Aurora hovered over his cock positioning the long throbbing flesh just below her. âDid you come all this way to fuck me, to have me first, to drench me in your scent?â Her tongue came out and painted a warm wet stripe up his cheek stopping at his ear. âDo you want to remember how it felt when you poured all that you were up into my womb, marking me inside and outâŠâ lowering her body she pressed the weeping helm just into the wet heat of her cunt. âI want to feel the stretch of you filling me with this enormous cock.â Aurora could feel the tears begin to form in the corner of her eyes. It had been years since she had him like this. She could feel the heat of him, the throbbing flesh in her grasp. It had been too long. But she had to remember this wasnât her Leo. Â
 âI want to be inside you. I want it so bad.â Leonardo growled pulling her down on him, but the strength of her thighs held up against his.
 âSay please LeonardoâŠ..donïżœïżœt be fucking rudeâŠ.â She could feel him shaking with need desperate for a taste of what his body was apparently so starved for.
 His sudden shift made Aurora pull the blade back before it severed his carotid as his warm mouth enclosed around her throat kissing and sucking gently. Leisurely his hands abandoned her hips and traced up her naked back making her arch at the wondrous feather light sensation. âPlease.â He finally whispered through heavy exhales into the moister he left behind. Â
 The sensation of him splitting her open on the down slide was overwhelming, reminding Aurora that it had been years since she had taken any of them. Thankfully there was no pain but a twinge of discomfort accompanied with the delicious stretch of being so splendidly filled. Leoâs ascending fingers finally reached the top of her shoulders and clamped down assisting the final few inches to climb home.
 When he was seated fully inside her body, the terrapin let out a throaty groan pressing his beak to crook of her throat. One hand left her shoulder and wrapped protectively around her waist keeping her securely sheathed. Besides the elevated breathing the mutant made no noises but refused to let her rise to ease the pressure building.
 Suddenly his hips rocked up eliminating any space that had remained between them. His mouth opened taking in a section of her neck letting his tongue run over the heated flesh. Then she felt his cock expand and his grip loosen allowing her to lift up beginning the unhurried pace.
 Rolling her hips rotating them just enough to make slow circles finally made the hulking turtle below her voice his appreciation.
 âFu..ckâŠmmhmmâŠfaster..â
 âNo.â she growled softly into his ear while running the cool edge of the blade still in her possession across the green scales of his throat. âYou came into my room uninvited with a weapon and intentions of ending my life, we do this my way or I send you back to the lab missing a few limbs.â
 Leoâs griped shifted back to her hips while he tilted his own to change the angle. When she gasped and shuttered at the new friction his mouth opened into a toothy grin. âYou wonât hurt me. You said it yourself you love me.â
 Leaning down to his neck Aurora began to cover his lustrous green skin with open mouth kisses rising until just the tip of him remained in her body. When she got the weeping wound she had inflicted her mouth enclosed around the hole clearing the tepid crimson from his flesh. She felt the vibrations through her lips as his voiced his pleasure tilting his head to the side to give her better access.
 With a pop her mouth released his throat and she began gradually lowering herself back down on his titanium length.  âYou nearly killed me a few months ago while Raphael watched on. I spend nearly a month in the infirmary because of you, one of the most important people in my life. That was a sobering reminder you are not my Leonardo, my kind, gentle, honorable leaderâŠmy lover. You may have his ridiculously muscled body, his unmatched skill but your soul isnât there. There is something in your body keeping you under Bishopsâ thumb, keeping the real you from surfacing. The real Leo would rather be dead then be in the service of that mad man and I am now 100% behind that. So you better be on your best behavior.â
 No form of protest came from the turtle, but his mouth turned up into a smug grin before leaning forward to capture Auroraâs lips. The demand behind the kiss was insistent as his tongue pushed into her mouth and his hold around her waist began to urge her to move.
 She could feel him throb with each beat of his heart; every inch of her core was stretched to its limit. That was how big Leonardo really was and he wasnât even the largest of his brothers. Raphael held that title, his length was roughly the same as Leoâs but to take Raphael was always a slow start. Luckily he was a patient man.
 She began again, taking her time with each rise and fall on his engorged length. Up and down tilting her hips back so the tip of him could hit just the right spot. Every cell in her body started to ignite with awareness of the long lost sensation of being taken by a mutant turtle. Each time Aurora sheathed herself on every inch of Leo the head of his cock pressed to the back of her channel eager to flood it with his climax.
 The pace was kept slow. Aurora didnât want this to end too quickly; it had been far too long since she had experienced any of their bodies like this. And she had forgotten how intense being intimate with them was. Leoâs grip on her was tight, keeping her as close to him as possible. His mouth ran wild over her, dragging his wet tongue over her throat to her clavicle and down to the top of her breasts. His hands moved up from her hips to her waist urging her back so the warmth of his mouth could find the dark tissue of her nipples. He sucked at each of the heavy globes with enthusiasm, circling each peak with his tongue until it hardened to a stiff nub. Trying her best to stay on guard as the blue terrapin began to worship her chest Aurora found the new angle and sensation of his feasting too distracting and released the pressure of the blade off his neck.
 âLeoâŠfu..uckâŠ..â it was impossible to refrain from praising him, he was a man of focus. When he set his sights on a goal Leonardo did all he could to complete it to perfection and the act of lovemaking was no different.
 Both hands fell to his broad shoulders and started to roll her hips faster fighting at the coiling pressure of her climax as it started to chase her down. Harder she fell down on him spearing herself over and over until the fire in her belly erupted in a blinding rush of endorphins.
 Leo must have sensed her at the end of her rope and bit down on the puckered flesh of her nipple sucking it into his mouth. His right hand left her side and lowered between them slipping a single digit into her heat finding the soft pearl and began rubbing the flesh in soft circles.
 There were no words to express the feeling that washed over her senses. The feeling of dying and being brought back to life was the best way to describe it. Her body arched, tensing up and Aurora let her head fall back allowing his name fill the room in blissful cries of ecstasy.
 âThatâs so pretty.â He growled breathlessly rolling his hips up harder into her body.
 As her body ran through her climax Leo took over the rhythm fucking her though her high right into the slow climb to the next one. The blade held loosely in her hand Leo took advantage of her momentary distraction and stole the weapon from her slack grasp.
 She barely registered the loss of the upper hand as he increased the tempo of his hips and kept the steady strike of that one spot sending her higher and higher prolonging her peak. Even after all these years his body knew how to bring her the utmost pleasure, or was it Leonardo himself remembering.
 As the crest finally began to ebb bringing her back to her mutant partner Auroraâs mind finally registered she was no longer in control of the knife. His three fingers held the handle firmly and ran the sharp tip over the scar he had left months ago and his eyes flashed dangerously.
 âDo it.â She wouldnât be scared of him, if this was how she went it was one hell of a way to go; stuffed full of Leonardo still buzzing from her orgasm.
 Leo chuckled softly rolling forward until Aurora was on her back and he was hovering over her pressing her thighs open wide with the hard plain of his pelvis. His head tilted reaching for her chin making sure she was looking at him. He thrust abruptly sinking to the hilt before pulling almost all the way free. âI donât think I will.â With the flick of his wrist the knife flew from his hand and embedded into the wood of her closed door. âIâm not done with you yet.â
 Grabbing her right thigh Leo hoisted her calve up over his shoulder and rocked smoothly forward sinking into her tight heat with great care. The plunging girth of the rooted flesh was overwhelming dragging splendidly within her walls igniting the fire in her belly. Rapidity it allowed her rising climax to feed on her view above her. The view of Leonardo, the dominate male taking claim to what was once his, it made her core clench and ache.
 As he started to drive forward gently Aurora could see the softness return to his gaze like her Leonardo. Like it was six years ago and he were still hers. She knew she shouldnât get her hopes up as long as that thing still roamed his body Leo would never be hers. But in this moment she allowed herself to dream.
 Then out of nowhere Leoâs voice dropped an octave, dark and needy, âAuroraâŠtell me you love me.â The look on his face was serious but his eyes gave the mutant away, the blue orbs were pleading like he genuinely needed to hear the words. His grip tightened on her hips and he began to pound into her faster chasing after his own climax. âPlease.â
 Ripping her leg from his grip Aurora rolled them claiming the high ground once again keeping with his hurried pace as she resumed her ride. She allowed him to recover pulling him back up into a sitting position. The terrapin wrapped his arm back around her waist and set his gaze back on her flushed face.
 âW-why? Why should I g..ive you that? Mmm âŠfuck!â
 âHumor meâŠ.please.â
 What could it hurt? She did love Leo, just not this version of him.
 Then she could feel him pulse and expand, he was about to topple over into oblivion. Eyes widened and Aurora arched as the extra width made her peak hit without warning. The heat of it raced through her body like a box of fireworks going off under her skin. Her hands shot to his face cupping his sharp jaw line and she leaned back into her spine curling climax. With what little cognitive ability she had left she gave him what he wanted. âI love you.â
 It consumed her quickly eating up all of her strength racking her body with small but powerful tremors. She blacked out for a moment but Leonardo kept her from falling, like he had always done, keeping her safe when she was most vulnerable.
 âRora.â It was faint but the nickname only the brothers were allowed to call her escaped Leoâs lips.
 It was then she felt Leo tense and grip her hips sinking as deep as he could reach as the turtle spilled his molten seed deep into her willing body. Each brutal drive up erupted ropes of ejaculate coating her with his scent filling Aurora until it her body could take no more. With one final drive Leo pulled Aurora down on his cock locking them in place making sure every drop of his cum reached its destination, marking her. His.
 They clung to each other with all their remaining strength riding out their euphoria until Aurora kissed him, kissed him with such ferocity it stole the final breath from their lungs.
 With the need to breath staggering they finally pulled apart.
 As his blurred vision became clear Leo could see tears flowing freely down her cheeks, and the sight startled the leader momentarily. His hands reached to her face brushing the moister with his thumbs, âDid I hurt you?â Â
 âNo, not in this moment at least.â Aurora could feel her heart thundering below her chest as she stared at the terrapin. But this wasnât her Leo and if she didnât do something now their location would be comprised so she did what she had to do to keep everyone here safe.
 Her hands shot out in concession pressing into the soft tissue of his body. Three points, deep into the muscle making Leonardo gasp in shock. His blue eyes widened in surprise and his lips thin into an angry frown.
 âI canât have you leave here conscious, heâll take us all and kill Casey, April and I. Everything will be lost.â
 Leoâs hand shot out and his fingers tips dug into her arm sluggishly. His eye lids drooped and his mouth opened as his muscles gave up their tension. With his final conscious thought Leoâs lips formed his last thought before he succumbed to the darkness, âI would never âŠâŠâŠ.let him hurt âŠ.you.â
 As his body went slack Aurora wiped away her tears and shuttered as he slipped from her body. The loss of his warmth tore through her like a hurricane sinking her further into despair. She took a moment to run her hands under his shirt tracing her fingers along the scarred lines of his plastron. She had to remind herself, he was warm, he was alive and he was healthy.
 With a heavy sigh she dismounted and wiped him clean before securing his pants. Gathering her com Aurora pressed the button making a connection to the person on the other end.
 âCasey, I need you to come to my room. We need to get him out of here before he wakes up.â
 âIâm on my way.â
@imthegreenfairy88 @alonia143 @ravn-87 @tmnt-bucklover @tmntspidergirlâ
#tmnt#tmnt leonardo#tmnt donatello#tmnt michaelangelo#tmnt raphael#aurora the kunoichi#tmnt fanfiction#tmnt fandom#tmnt fic#TMNT TMNT fanfiction#The Forgotten#part four#temptation#smut
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All the books I reviewed in 2020
I know it's a little late for Xmas shipping, but I'm FINALLY getting around to publishing a roundup of all the books I reviewed in 2019!
Part 1: FICTION FOR ADULTS
I. AGENCY by William Gibson: A sequel to The Peripheral for the Trump years, about seductive bitterness of imagined alternate timelines, filled with cyberpunk cool and action.
https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/books/story/2020-01-24/agency-william-gibson
II. RIOT BABY by Tochi Onyebuchi: An incandescent Afrofuturist novella that connects the Rodney King uprising with contemporary struggle, pitting supernatural powers against dire politics.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/04/23/riot-baby/#Tochi-Onyebuchi
III. OR WHAT YOU WILL by Jo Walton: A metafiction about the desperate attempt of a character to pull his writer into a fictional world to save the both from human mortality.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/07/little-bro-with-snowden/#metafiction
IV. A BEAUTIFULLY FOOLISH ENDEAVOR by Hank Green: Sequel to An Absolutely Remarkable Thing - a madcap and sometimes brutal tale of social media influencers, alien invaders, disinformation, and runaway capitalism.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/08/absolutely-remarkable-thing/#carls
V. FAILED STATE by Christopher Brown: A legal eco-thriller that imagines the end of capitalism without imagining the end of the world - cyberpunk meets ecotopianism, with anarchist jurisdictions, show-trials, and rewilding.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/08/12/failed-state/#chris-brown
VI. AFTERLAND by Lauren Beukes: Eerily well-timed road-trip novel set after a prostate-cancer plague wipes out nearly every man on Earth, except for the protagonist's teenaged son, who is now being hunted by the (all-female) US government.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/28/afterland/#XY
VII. BALLISTIC KISS by Richard Kadrey: Sandman Slim confronts the worst demons of all - his own trauma and self-doubt.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/08/25/anxietypunk/#bk
VIII. SQUEEZE ME by Carl Hiaasen: Hiaasen was writing comedic whodunnits about improbable Florida Man types decades before the memes, and his Mar-a-Lago gator plague novel is a hectic and hilarious tale for our times.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/10/05/florida-man/#disappearing-act
VIII. The Ministry for the Future by Kim Stanley Robinson: KSR says it's his last novel and I say it's the book he's been training to write all his life. If you like your climate fiction wrenching but still uplifting enough to move you to tears...
https://pluralistic.net/2020/12/03/ministry-for-the-future/#ksr
IX. SET MY HEART TO FIVE by Simon Stephenson: An absurdist robot-romp in the mold of Kurt Vonnegut about a robot who catches the disease of emotions and tries to treat it by moving to Hollywood to write screenplays about robots.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/01/cant-pay-wont-pay/#robot-rights
Part 2: NONFICTION FOR ADULTS
I. A PUBLIC SERVICE by Tim Schwartz: An incredibly practical, detailed guide for would-be whistleblowers (and journalists who work with them) to staying safe while spilling the beans.
https://memex.craphound.com/2020/01/08/a-public-service-a-comprehensive-comprehensible-guide-to-leaking-documents-to-journalists-and-public-service-groups-without-getting-caught/
II. THE MONSTERS KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING by Keith Ammann: A sourcebook for RPG game-masters explaining how different kinds of monsters can use a variety of combat tactics that add depth, texture (and challenge) to your games.
https://memex.craphound.com/2020/01/10/the-monsters-know-what-theyre-doing-an-rpg-sourcebook-for-dms-who-want-to-imbue-monsters-with-deep-smart-tactics/
III. SNOWDEN'S BOX by Jessica Bruder and Dale Maharidge: The incredible, true tale of how trust among friends allowed Snowden's leaks to safely transit from his home in Hawai'i to the hands of Laura Poitras and the journalists who reported the story.
https://memex.craphound.com/2020/03/31/snowdens-box-the-incredible-illuminating-story-of-the-journey-of-snowdens-hard-drive/
III. ABOLISH SILICON VALLEY by Wendy Liu: A personal journey from a fully bought-in believer in Silicon Valley's meritocracy to a ferocious critic who demands tech to serve humanity, not a human race in service to the tech industry.
https://memex.craphound.com/2020/04/14/abolish-silicon-valley-memoir-of-a-driven-startup-founder-who-became-an-anti-capitalist-activist/
IV. THE CASE FOR A JOB GUARANTEE by Pavlina Tcherneva: A fierce little book setting out an economic program to rescue the nation and the planet from a system that insists we can't even hope for a better world.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/22/jobs-guarantee/#job-guarantee
VII. SUBPRIME ATTENTION CRISIS by Tim Hwang: What's worse than having our lies destroyed by surveillance to manipulate us with ads? Having our lives destroyed by surveillance in order to fuel a fraudulent market in ad-based manipulation.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/10/05/florida-man/#wannamakers-ghost
VIII. MONOPOLIES SUCK by Sally Hubbard: There are plenty of *great* books about monopolies and the resurgence in antitrust, but Hubbard's is the most practical, providing the reader with excellent advice for actually *doing something* about monopolism.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/10/27/peads-r-us/#sally-hubbard
IX. BREAK 'EM UP by Zephyr Teachout: The most lucid, readable, infuriating, energizing book on the rise of monopolies. Teachout never loses sight of the systemic nature of the problem, even as she uses individual stories to tell the tale.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/29/break-em-up/#break-em-up
X. BOUNDLESS REALM by Fox Nolte: There has never been a better book about the Haunted Mansion (indeed, this is one of the best books ever written about environmental design in general). Nolte goes *way* beyond trite wisdom about "storytelling."
https://pluralistic.net/2020/11/09/boundless-realm/#fuxxfur
PART 3: GRAPHIC NOVELS
I. YEAR OF THE RABBIT by Tean Viasna: A graphic memoir of Viasna's harrowing boyhood during the rise of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia. It's a tale we've rarely seen through the eyes of a child, and brilliantly realized.
https://memex.craphound.com/2020/01/22/year-of-the-rabbit-a-graphic-novel-memoir-of-one-familys-life-under-the-khmer-rouge/
II. FEMALE FURIES by @misscecilâ: Castellucci uses an obscure and anachronistic all-woman cast of DC Universe b-characters to tell an incredible, smart, pitiless story about #MeToo, comics, solidarity and betrayal.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/29/female-furies/#apokolips-now
III. LONELINESS OF THE LONG-DISTANCE CARTOONIST by Adrian Tomine: A memoir of intensely felt impostor syndrome, a forceful reminder that comparison is the thief of joy - and that the traits that keep an artist going at first go toxic over time.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/21/the-thief-of-joy/#tomine
IV. CONSTITUTION ILLUSTRATED by R Sikoryak: The Trump years were an unhappy crash-course in Constitutional law, but Sikoryak's genius adaptation of the Constitution in the style of dozens of cartoonists is a pure delight.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/27/ip/#r-sikoryak
PART 4: KIDS AND YA
I. SEND PICS by Lauren McLaughlin: A YA novel that's a thrilling revenge-play about "revenge porn," a cyber-heist novel that's also a sneaky and forceful book about teen girls' sexuality.
https://memex.craphound.com/2020/04/21/send-pics-ripping-brutal-amazing-novel-about-teens-sextortion-revenge-and-justice/
II. IMPOSSIBLE MUSIC by Sean Williams: A YA novel about a music-obsessed kid who loses his hearing is the frame for a book about ability, adaptation, music theory, family, Deafness and what dreams are really for.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/30/deafhood/#impossible-music
III. HARD WIRED by Len Vlahos: A 15 year old discovers the truth behind bizarre dysfunction of the world around him: he's an AI in a sim, and the guy he thinks of as his long-dead father is actually the research scientists who created him.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/08/31/ai-rights-now/#len-vlahos
IV. ADVENTURES OF A DWERGISH GIRL, by Daniel Pinkwater: Like every Pinkwater novel, it defies description, it is brilliant, and it is his best to date. Ghosts, Revolutionary War fleshbots, papaya juice, and supernatural beings from the Catskills!
https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/25/dwergish-girl/#you-are-a-pickle
V. WITCH by Finbar Hawkins: A beautiful debut novel about a pair of 17th century sisters who avenge themselves against the witchfinders that murdered their mother. A superbly told historical.
https://pluralistic.net/2020/10/01/the-years-of-repair/#witch
FINALLY: I published *four* books in 2020!
I. POESY THE MONSTER SLAYER: My debut picture book, about a little girl who turns her toys into weapons and torments her parents by hunting monsters all night, with wonderful art by Matt Rockefeller:
https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781626723627
II. LITTLE BROTHER/HOMELAND: My multibestselling YA novels were reissued last summer in a gorgeous package with a (fantastic) new introduction by Snowden.
https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250774583
III. ATTACK SURFACE: A standalone, adult sequel to Little Brother and Homeland. The New York Times called it "vocal and unflinching" and "ultimately optimistic"; the Washington Post called it a "riveting techno-thriller."
https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250757531
IV. HOW TO DESTROY SURVEILLANCE CAPITALISM: A long pamphlet/short book that makes the case that Big Tech manipulates us and spies on us because they have monopolies - not because they've developed devastating, data-driven mind-control.
https://onezero.medium.com/how-to-destroy-surveillance-capitalism-8135e6744d59
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Taylor Swiftâs âFolkloreâ: Album Review
Itâs hard to remember any contemporary pop superstar that has indulged in a more serious, or successful, act of sonic palette cleansing than Swift has with her eighth album, a highly subdued but rich affair written and recorded in quarantine conditions.
While most of us spent the last four months putting on some variation of âthe quarantine 15,â Taylor Swift has been secretly working on the âFolkloreâ 16. Sprung Thursday night with less than a dayâs notice, her eighth album is a fully rounded collection of songs that sounds like it was years in the interactive making, not the product of a quarter-yearâs worth of file-sharing from splendid isolation. Mind you, the words âpandemic heroâ should probably be reserved for actual frontline workers and not topline artistes. But thereâs a bit of Rosie the Riveter spirit in how Swift has become the first major pop artist to deliver a first-rank album that went from germination to being completely locked down in the midst of a national lockdown.
The themes and tone of âFolklore,â though, are a little less âWe can do it!â and a little more âCan we do it?â Because this new collection is Swiftâs most overtly contemplative â as opposed to covertly reflective â album since the fan favorite âRed.â Actually, thatâs an understatement. âRedâ seems like a Chainsmokers album compared to the wholly banger-free âFolklore,â which lives up to the first half of its title by divesting itself of any lingering traces of Max Martin-ized dance-pop and presenting Swift, afresh, as your favorite new indie-electro-folk/chamber-pop balladeer. For fans that relished these undertones of Swiftâs in the past, it will come as a side of her they know and love all too well. For anyone who still has last yearâs âYou Need to Calm Downâ primarily in mind, it will come as a jolting act of manual downshifting into actually calming down. At least this one wonât require an album-length Ryan Adams remake to convince anyone that thereâs songwriting there. The best comparison might be to take âClean,â the unrepresentative denouement of â1989,â and⊠imagine a whole album of that. Really, itâs hard to remember any pop star in our lifetimes that has indulged in a more serious act of sonic palette cleansing.
The tone of this release wonât come as a midnight shock to anyone who took spoilers from the announcement earlier in the day that a majority of the tracks were co-written with and produced by the Nationalâs Aaron Dessner, or that the man replacing Panic! at the Discoâs Brendon Urie as this albumâs lone duet partner is Bon Iver. No matter how much credit you may have given Swift in the past for thinking and working outside of her box, a startled laugh may have been in order for just how unexpected these names felt on the bingo card of musical dignitaries you expected to find the woman who just put out âMe!â working with next. But her creative intuition hasnât led her into an oil-and-water collaboration yet. Dessner turns out to be an ideal partner, with as much virtuosic, multi-instrumental know-how (particularly useful in a pandemic) as the most favored writer-producer on last yearâs âLoverâ album, Jack Antonoff.
He, too, is present and accounted for on âFolklore,â to a slightly lesser extent, and together Antonoff and Dessner make for a surprisingly well-matched support-staff tag team. Swiftâs collabs with the Nationalâs MVP clearly set the tone for the project, with a lot of fingerpicking, real strings, mellow drum programming and Mellotrons. You can sense Antonoff, in the songs he did with Swift, working to meet the mood and style of what Dessner had done or would be doing with her, and bringing out his own lesser-known acoustic and lightly orchestrated side. As good of a mesh as the album is, though, itâs usually not too hard to figure out who worked on which song â Dessnerâs contributions often feel like nearly neo-classical piano or guitar riffs that Swift toplined over, while Antonoff works a little more toward buttressing slightly more familiar sounding pop melodies of Swiftâs, dressed up or down to meet the more somber-sounding occasion.
For some fans, it might take a couple of spins around the block with this very different model to become re-accustomed to how thereâs still the same power under the hood here. And thatâs really all Swift, whose genius for conversational melodies and knack for giving every chorus a telling new twist every time around remain unmistakable trademarks. Thematically, itâs a bit more of a hodgepodge than more clearly autobiographical albums like âLoverâ and âReputationâ before it have been. Swift has always described her albums as being like diaries of a certain period of time, and a few songs here obviously fit that bill, as continuations of the newfound contentment she explored in the last album and a half. But thereâs also a higher degree of fictionalization than perhaps sheâs gone for in the past, including what sheâs described as a trilogy of songs revolving around a high school love triangle. The fact that she refers to herself, by name, as âJamesâ in the song âBettyâ is a good indicator that not everything here is ripped from todayâs headlines or diary entries.
But, hell, some of it sure is. Anyone looking for lyrical Easter eggs to confirm that Swift still draws from her own life will be particularly pleased by the song âInvisible String,â a sort of âbless the broken roads that led me to youâ type song that finds fulfillment in a current partner who once wore a teal shirt while working as a young man in a yogurt shop, even as Swift was dreaming of the perfect romance hanging out in Nashvilleâs Centennial Park. (A quick Google search reveals that, yes, Joe Alwyn was once an essential worker in Londonâs fro-yo industry.) Thereâs also a sly bit of self-referencing as Swift follows this golden thread that fatefully linked them: âBad was the blood of the song in the cab on your first trip to L.A.,â she sings. The âdive barâ that was first established as the scene of a meet-cute two albums ago makes a reappearance in this song, too.
As for actual bad blood? It barely features into âFolklore,â in any substantial, true-life-details way, counter to her reputation for writing lyrics that are better than revenge. But when it does, woe unto he who has crossed the Tâs and dotted the Iâs on a contract that Swift feels was a double-cross. At least, we can strongly suspect what or who the actual subject is of âMad Woman,â this albumâs one real moment of vituperation. âWhat did you think Iâd say to that?â Swift sings in the opening lines. âDoes a scorpion sting when fighting back? / They strike to kill / And you know I will.â Soon, sheâs adding gas to the fire: âNow I breathe flames each time I talk / My cannons all firing at your yacht / They say âmove onâ / But you know I wonât / ⊠women like hunting witches, too.â A coup de gras is delivered: âItâs obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together.â Itâs a message song, and the message is: Swift still really wants her masters back, in 2020. And is really still going to want them back in 2021, 2022 and 2023, too. Whether or not the neighbors of the exec or execs she is imagining really mouth the words âfâ youâ when these nemeses pull up in their respective driveways may be a matter of projection, but if Swift has a good time imagining it, many of her fans will too.
(A second such reference may be found in the bonus track, âThe Lakes,â which will only be found on deluxe CD and vinyl editions not set to arrive for several weeks. There, she sings, âWhat should be over burrowed under my skin / In heart-stopping waves of hurt / Iâve come too far to watch some namedropping sleaze / Tell me what are my words worth.â The rest of âThe Lakesâ is a fantasy of a halcyon semi-retirement in the mountains â in which âI want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet / Because I havenât moved in yearsâ â âand not without my muse.â She even imagines red roses growing out of a tundra, âwith no one around to tweet itâ; fantasies of a social media-free utopia are really pandemic-rampant.)
The other most overtly âconfessionalâ song here is also the most third-person one, up to a telling point. In âThe Last Great American Dynasty,â Swift explores the rich history of her seaside manse in Rhode Island, once famous for being home to the heir to the Standard Oil fortune and, after he died, his eccentric widow. Swift has a grand old time identifying with the women who decades before her made fellow coast-dwellers go âthere goes the neighborhoodâ: âThere goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen / She had a marvelous time ruining everything,â she sings of the long-gone widow, Rebekah. âFifty years is a long time / Holiday House sat quietly on that beach / Free of women with madness, their men and bad habits / Then it was bought by me⊠the loudest woman this town has ever seen.â (A fine madness among proud women is another recurring theme.)
But, these examples aside, the album is ultimately less obviously self-referential than most of Swiftâs. The single âCardigan,â which has a bit of a Lana Del Rey feel (even though itâs produced by Dessner, not Del Reyâs partner Antonoff) is part of Swiftâs fictional high school trilogy, along with âAugustâ and âBetty.â That sweater shows up again in the latter song, in which Swift takes on the role of a 17-year boy publicly apologizing for doing a girl wrong â and which kicks into a triumphant key change at the end thatâs right out of âLove Story,â in case anyone imagines Swift has completely moved on from the spirit of early triumphs.
âExile,â the duet with Bon Iver, recalls another early Swift song, âThe Last Time,â which had her trading verses with Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol. Then, as now, she gives the guy the first word, and verse, if not the last; it has her agreeing with her partner on some aspects of their dissolution (âI couldnât turn things aroundâ/âYou never turned things aroundâ) and not completely on others (âCause you never gave a warning sign,â he sings; âI gave so many signs,â she protests).
Picking two standouts â one from the contented pile, one from the tormented â leads to two choices: âIllicit Affairsâ is the best cheating song since, well, âReputationâsâ hard-to-top âGetaway Car.â Thereâs less catharsis in this one, but just as much pungent wisdom, as Swift describes the more mundane details of maintaining an affair (âTell your friends youâre out for a run / Youâll be flushed when you returnâ) with the soul-destroying ones of how âwhat started in beautiful rooms ends with meetings in parking lots,â as âa drug that only worked the first few hundred timesâ wears off in clandestine bitterness.
But does Swift have a corker of a love song to tip the scales of the album back toward sweetness. Itâs not âInvisible String,â though thatâs a contender. The champion romance song here is âPeace,â the title of which is slightly deceptive, as Swift promises her beau, or life partner, that that quality of tranquility is the only thing she canât promise him. If you like your love ballads realistic, itâs a bit of candor that renders all the compensatory vows of fidelity and courage all the more credible and deeply lovely. âAll these people think loveâs for show / But I would die for you in secret.â
That promise of privacy to her intended is a reminder that Swift is actually quite good at keeping things close to the vest, when sheâs not spilling all â qualities that she seems to value and uphold in about ironically equal measure. Perhaps itâs in deference to the sanctity of whatever sheâs holding dear right now that there are more outside narratives than before in this album â including a song referring to her grandfather storming the beaches in World War II â even as she goes outside for fresh collaborators and sounds, too. But what keeps you locked in, as always, is the notion of Swift as truth-teller, barred or unbarred, in a world of pop spin. Sheâs celebrating the masked era by taking hers off again.
Taylor Swift âFolkloreâ Republic Records
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Deidara Headcanons Collection
Oh god Iâm like minutes from being too late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEIđ„șâ€ïžđ
What He Looks For In A S/O~
âą He would most likely want someone who was an artist, cuz he needs someone who understands and relates to his passion and will challenge him on perspectives (respectfully, ofc)
âą Needs someone who is as active as he is, he could not deal with someone who wanted to stay home all the time
âą Dei is a wild child so whether he knows it or not, heâs going to need someone to balance him out with a more calm/logical outlook on life
âą But thatâs not to say he wants to date a square cause thatâs a big fat LIE
âą He needs an S/O whoâs able to keep with his spontaneous attitude and mood swings
âą Heâd probably be drawn to the innocence of his S/O, heâs seen and done a lot of hard things in his life so would love to be able to leave the darkness behind around you
âą If his S/O was a shinobi heâd be relieved cause they can take care of themselves, but he would also want to accompany you on missions because this boy can WORRY
âą If youâre not a shinobi, he wouldnât mind all that much cause he doesnât have to be concerned with you getting injured on missions, but he would want to teach you the basics defense combat
âą This boy just needs some love with a capital L, tbh
Relationship With Dei Stuff~
âą Heâs surprisingly empathetic and can pick on your emotions/moods quite easily but that doesnât mean he always acts on it
âą Heâs a naturally happy person so negative emotions are a bit hard to deal with
âą If youâre just grumpy, heâll just stay out of your way (a bit) but if youâre really struggling or on suffering through Satanâs Week heâll try to do his best to comfort you
âą (be patient with him)
âą Even though he canât take you out on dates to the city like he wants to, heâll improvise
âą Boi isnât an artist for no reason
âą Ofc he takes you out to see his art and to fly on his creations, but heâs a romantic at heart and loves cheesy cliches
âą Watching the sunset on picnics
âą If heâs free camping in the forest
âą Or just art dates where you guys will find a common project and will work on it together
âą Bonus points towards you if you and Sasori can at least tolerate each other
âą They might never admit out loud, but they are best friends
âą Even if no one could ever tell
âą The three of you are around each other a lot so if you and Sasori are always arguing or getting on each otherâs nerves your relationship could suffer a little because of it
âą LOVES to spoil you. Like just because
âą If you and Dei are dating, you two make a great team whether itâs art collabs, missions, or just life in general
âą He can be a real sweetheart and is more sensitive than people give him credit for so if you just love on this boy youâll have him forever
How To Lose/Annoy Him~
âą Insulting or just plain not acknowledging his art goes without saying, I would think
âą I havenât seen this mentioned before, but hating on or trying to avoid his mouth hands. Although theyâre a huge part of his life theyâre also strange so he can be a bit insecure
âą Being insensitive about his speech tic (un, yeah, hm) heâs already come to term with them, but he doesnât need you, or anyone else rubbing it in
âą As stated earlier, not being able to get along with Sasori, or him just generally disapproving of you more than he does the average person
âą Being overly clingy. Example, when heâs working on his art and youâre all over him, infringing on his special time
âą Playing hard to get or trying to make him jealous. Dei is naturally impatient so it makes no sense as to why youâre trying to get a rise out of him. He can pretty blunt and he expects you to just come out and say it if something is bothering you.
âą Slightly nsfw, but pulling on his hair. He doesnât like his hair being ripped out in the slightest
âą Being friends with Tobi
Soft Deidara Things~
âą Definitely one for matching shirts (i.e His= Art is a bang! Yours= Iâm a bang!)
âą He loves to just cuddle up with you after a long day, no words heâll just collapse on you
âą PLAY. WITH. HIS. HAIR.
âą Brush it, braid it, comb it, whatever, but itâll soothe the heck outta him
âą He really loves to pick out your clothes. Dei is a fashion master and he loves seeing you in clothes he likes
âą Will be that one person to sleep crazy to the point of kicking you off the bed. Now you sleep literally on top of him so heâs pretty still
âą Loves to wake up before you to look at you like âwow she loves me??â
âą Can actually cook really well (i mean he did live on his own for a while) and loves having you try new recipes heâs come up with
âą Just loves being around you, youâre presence can calm him like no other
Random Dei Facts~
âą His love language is a mix of words of affirmation and physical touch
âą As much as he likes to go go go, he also appreciates a good nap here or there
âą Heâs bad at taking care of himself like heâs on the brink of artistic genius and heâll genuinely forget to eat or sleep
âą Has a big thing for music, whether itâs a song or just instrumental he loves the environment it brings
âą He doesnât quite have PTSD, but somethings do trigger him or make him anxious. You just canât live like he does and not be effected
âą That one scene where heâs recruited and is under Itachiâs Sharingan/genjutsu and calls Itachi art and then is repulsed by the thought really makes me think that one of Deiâs biggest fears is thinking/realizing someoneâs art is better than his own
âą He isnât religious but is a strong believer in fate, karma, and such things
âą Contrary to popular belief, he doesnât use his hand mouths for anything other than art. Those are his art tools, his partners, and heâd be much too weirded out to use them for anything different
âą Heâs like a scarily healthy eater. Not necessarily vegetarian/vegan but is a calorie counter and has a very balanced diet
âą He loves to do little not so harmless pranks on Itachi as mini revenge. Heâs even more ruthless as Itachi begins to lose his eyesight
Little Things~
Favorite:
âą Place to kiss- Behind your ear because he loves hugging you from behind and surprising you
âą Way to hug- As previously stated, from behind cuz he feels like heâs protecting you and you fit in his arms like a puzzle
âą Thing to do with you- Discuss or work on art projects together or in each otherâs general vicinity
âą Cuddle position- Lotus (you in his lap, facing him, your legs around his waist) cause he just loves to hold you and you can easily mess with his hair
âą Type of date- Anything thatâs just the two of you spending quality time away from his busy life
This or That-
âą More of a summer person, he loves the outdoors, even more now that he has someone to share it with
âą Definitely a night person. He gets more done at night but also loves being able to unwind with you
âą Likes to cook more than being cooked for, cause he likes treating you
âą Is not much of a reader, it canât hold his attention for long, but occasionally will ask you to read to him if he likes the sound of your voice. He does
Conflict Happenings~
âą Passionate and Stubborn Boiâą
âą If youâre also headstrong, there will be plenty of arguments, usually over small things
âą Best case scenario, something says something that makes you both laugh and problem solved or you end up making out (cuz oh my jashin scowling Deidara can step on my NECK)
âą Worst case scenario, someone storms out and you donât talk for a bit
âą When he wants he can give a verbal tongue lashing harsh enough to make anyone cower
âą Eventually, one of you will cave. You miss each other too much and even art isnât filling the void
âą Apologies are mumbled but heartfelt as to not bruise either of your egos but also cuz youâre both genuinely sorry
âą However, if youâre not confrontational, it might actually cause him to mellow out a bit (only around you though)
âą He canât bring himself to have a one-sided argument with you. It makes him feel guilty and does a lot of damage
âą Instead, he might actually talk things out, courtesy of self-calming techniques you probably showed him at one point
Modern Dei~
âą Heâs that one college student that is at every party but still gets great grades??
âą!He has a double major for sure, art and chemistry, cause how else is he going to make perfect explosions?
âą If he wasnât recruited to a sports team (I could see him doing gymnastics or wrestling honestly) then you had best believe heâs a serious martial artist
âą Heâs smart and sells (non-explosive) sculptures for money on the side
âą He loves road trips, doesnât care as much about the destination, he just loves driving places
âą A serious ride or die friend, like loyal to a fault, but if you ruin that he wonât make any efforts to restore it
âą Incredibly independent and struggles to ask for help even if heâs bad at a particular subject
âąâCEO of completing assignments the night before its due and still acing it
âą His living space is purely organized chaos like everything has itâs own system even if it looks like a mess
âą Wouldnât mind having a roommate, but heâs also used to living alone so heâs fine either way
âą If he did, itâd probably be Sasori, cause heâs one of the only people who could TRULY handle Dei 24/7 (barely)
âą Isnât an overachiever, but just like with art, if someoneâs going to see his work, itâs going to be his best work
âą Even when his friends drink, heâs not that big on it. Feels like it hinders his inspiration and he gets AWFUL hangovers and can barely handle it
âą Modern Dei is a great Dei, cause no matter what our blonde baby is best. Period.
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Sugaâs Interlude
Pairing: Yoongi x Female Reader
Word Count: 953
Rating: PG
Genres: SFW, Idol AU, Little Angsty, Little Fluffy
Summary:Â Sequel to The Last. Yoongi is ready to quit, but you encourage him to sleep on it.Â
Warnings: Themes of depression.
A/N: This is part of my new drabble series that Iâm doing for ficswithluvâs Bulletproof Bingo! 24 drabbles in 12 days so I can get that blackout before the deadline. See my challenge post here and the master list here! Message or send an ask to be on the taglist!
This has not been beta read, please be kind! đ
~~~~~~~
Collaborating with Min Yoongi is so much better than you expected. His studio, Genius Lab, is incredible. Heâs got all the mixing and producing equipment that youâve dreamed of playing with. Yoongiâs schedule is very packed with photoshoots, meetings, and an upcoming music video shoot. Heâs busy a lot, but he gave you the code for his studio and youâve been spending a lot of time in it.
Walking down the hall to the studio, venti starbucks cup in hand, you see Kim Namjoon, RM, walking the opposite direction. You pause in front of Genius Lab and fiddle with your phone, trying to find the code in your notes.Â
âHi, can I help you?â Namjoon asks, closing the distance between you. Kim Namjoon is speaking to you. You knew high profile artists work in this building, but you didnât expect to run into one so quickly.Â
âOh, no Iâm just trying to get in here.â You say a little too loudly, nerves kicking in. But you manage to type the code in.
âOh... So youâre the indie artist that Sugaâs collabing with.â Namjoon states when the door clicks open.Â
âThatâs me.â You nod. Namjoon turns to walk away, but he pauses.
âHe doesnât give that code to just anyone.â He smiles, revealing his dimples, and then continues walking down the hall.Â
The thought of having super special secret access to Yoongiâs studio makes your heart flutter. If youâre being honest, things have felt really comfortable between the two of you. Namjoon just confirmed what youâve been thinking. Thereâs something more happening between you.
Youâre not a total expert on flirting, but Yoongi has been smiling a lot, listening intently to your ideas, and youâre pretty sure youâve caught him giving you the look a few times. But you canât get too far ahead of yourself. The collab is the most important thing right now.Â
Sitting on the small couch at the back of the studio, you sip your coffee and write down some lyrics ideas. The two of you had been stuck on lyrics for a while. You can hear someone stomping down the hallway. They stop in front of the door and you can hear them typing the code. Your heart stops.Â
âOh thank god youâre here.â Itâs Yoongi. You feel a moment of relief before you get a good look at his face. He looks upset, heâs wearing the same clothes as yesterday.Â
âWhatâs wrong? Yoongi did you get any sleep last night?â You ask and he shakes his head. He collapses on the couch next to you.Â
âI think I just quit.â Yoongi hangs his head.
âWhat do you mean quit? Quit what?â You say, eyes wide.Â
âI think I quit everything. We were in a meeting about my next album and I just couldnât take it anymore. The thought of having to go through another album cycle made me sick. I just donât enjoy this anymore.â Yoongi blurts out so many things at once, and all you can think to do is reach for his hand. You hold his hand in both of yours.
âItïżœïżœs okay, Yoongi. You donât owe anyone anything. Youâve already poured so much of yourself into the world.â You give his hand a little squeeze and he looks up at you.Â
âI think the only reason Iâve been enjoying writing this song with you is because itâs given me an excuse to spend time with you.â The two of you share a silent moment, looking into each otherâs eyes.Â
âYoongi, why donât you come to my house for the weekend?â He looks carefully at you, trying to interpret your question. âJ-just to get away from all this, get out of your head for a little while.â You add on awkwardly.Â
âThat could be nice.â
~~~~~~~
âSo the bedrooms are down the hall. Mine is to the left, yours to the right. Bathroom is at the very end of the hall.â Youâre showing Yoongi around your modest apartment. Itâs not very decorated, but you spend so much time at the studio, thereâs not much point.Â
âWe can watch a movie or something if youâd like. The pizza is on itâs way.â You smile, trying to be the best hostess you can be.Â
âThank you. A movie would be great.â Yoongi sits down and you awkwardly sit on the other side of the couch. He chuckles to himself, then leans his head on one of the decorative pillows. He doesnât look very comfortable.Â
You put on a generic action movie that you assume Yoongi will enjoy. Time passes and you try to get into the movie but you canât get past the fact the Min Yoongi is laying on your couch. The doorbell interrupts your thoughts.Â
Hopping up from the couch, you pause the movie and run over to the door. The hot cheesy goodness smells amazing and you canât wait to dig in.Â
âYoongi? Do you want me to bring you a slice?â You ask, but he doesnât answer. âYoongi?â You tiptoe around the couch to see his face. Heâs fast asleep.Â
Maybe he really did just need a break. You grab a spare blanket from the linen closet and gently lay it over him. After grabbing a couple slices, you put the pizza away and head to your bedroom. Itâs too early for you to sleep, but you can hang out here and let him sleep.Â
The next morning, you go into the kitchen to make coffee around 10am. And Yoongi is still fast asleep. Heâs moved around a bit and at some point he kicked his shoes off. But this is over twelve hours of sleep now. You decide to step out for coffee instead of making noise in the kitchen.Â
You: Iâm running to starbucks, let me know if you want anything. Be back soon. [10:13am]
When you return to your apartment with your usual and an iced americano for Yoongi, youâre surprised to see that hei is not on the couch. But his shoes are still there.Â
âYoongi?â No response. You quietly walk down the hall and the guest bedroom door is cracked. Yoongi is asleep under the covers. Itâs almost comical.Â
The day passes slowly because you feel like you canât make too much noise. Going out isnât really an option, you donât want to leave Yoongi alone in case he wakes up. Around dinner time, you decide to say fuck it and cook dinner, not worrying about how loud youâre being. Heâs been asleep for almost 24 full hours.Â
A little after 11pm, you knock on his door, but he remains silent. If he doesnât wake up in the morning youâll have to go in and pour some water on him or something, this is getting weird.Â
~~~~~~~
Youâre ripped out of your dream around 3am by some sounds in the kitchen. You hope itâs Yoongi, but you canât be too sure at this point. You grab the pepper spray from your purse and sneak down the hallway.Â
Itâs a relief to see Yoongi sitting at your dining room table scribbling away in his notebook. He found the coffee you left for him in the fridge and thereâs a couple pieces of pizza on a plate next to him.Â
âI think Iâve got some good lyrics to finish our song.â Yoongi says, pulling his eyes up from the notebook. Heâs smiling and for the first time since you met him, he doesnât look completely worn out. âThank you for letting me stay here.â
âAnytime, Yoongi.â You join him at the table as he begins excitedly showing you what heâs written.
~~~~~~~
A/N: Thank you so much for reading. Check out my masterlist here and the series masterlist here. Iâm always looking for betas, people to beta for, and friends so send me a message! :)
#ficswithluv#fwlbingo#magicshopnet#bangtanhq#min yoongi#yoongi x reader#yoongi fan fic#bts fan fic#yoongi fan fiction#bts fan fiction#yoongi idol au
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Dale Pon, R.I.P.
Pretty much the most famous media advertising campaign in history is âI Want My MTV!â âthe May 2020 Google search returns 184,000 results, more than 30 years after the last flight ranâ and it was the result of the brain of Dale Pon.*
* As I explain in detail in the pieces below, writer extraordinaire Nancy Podbielniak was the word spark for the campaign; it was George Lois who suggested ripping off âI Want My Maypo!â Dale Pon was the person who took these notions and turned them into brilliance.
Dale persuaded me and the powers that be at MTV that he could make it work, Dale who convinced MTV programmers to recording artists to participate for no fees. It was Dale who took the paltry budget allotted and strategized how to maximize the networkâs cable distribution. And finally, it was Dale Ponâs dogged persistence and genius that caused cable operators across America to beg us to please stop running the campaign before all the telephone operators quit in frustration from all the people âdemanding their MTV!!!âÂ
My great friend âand better mentorâ Dale Pon, passed away from difficulties due to Parkinsonâs and Covid19. Thereâs no way to convey all of the ways people expressed their sadness to me today, but one of them probably encapsulated things best by saying âComplicated but brilliant, creatively inspired, strategic like chess master , we were lucky to have been touched by his talents...â All too true.Â
Dale could be âto say the leastâ a challenging personality. Determined to win, he could be a bulldozer crushing an ant. Warm at his core, he could be beyond generous will all he had at his disposal. Unlike many others with talent and raw intelligence, he was quick to share his remarkable thinking, lavish in his ability to elevate the talents of the shy and uncertain, and as bountiful with praises as he could be lacerating with his critical observations. He loved as deeply as he was able, and a constant explorer for the meanings of life.Â
When it came to the work, there was no one better at understanding media, and getting fans interested in its rewards. I donât know if it was his methodologies and personality, or the fact that media promotion wasnât all that well respected in the ad biz, but Dale didnât have too much of a profile in the advertising world. I think, ultimately, he was much more focused on the work than on the publicity. So, things being what they are, what Iâve collected seems to be the most comprehensive look at his career, at least the parts that Iâve directly touch. By no means is it comprehensive, I know nothing about his radio days in the early 70s, and little about his work after I joined the cartoon industry. But all of what I have is yours, below.Â
Iâll lead with what a few of his colleagues and friends wrote a few years ago for Daleâs birthday. And then, below that, all the various campaign pieces (written from my perspective, of course) Iâve recalled over the years.Â
.....
April 2016, on the occasion of Daleâs birthday.
Dale Pon, my mentor and friend. Fucking smart.
Dale Ponâs been on my mind lately, as he is almost every day, because of the ways he taught me to think about âŠ. um,everything. Iâve written about some other important mentors before, but Daleâs influence was so staggering I could never figure out how to sketch it out in anything shorter than book length. Â
âDominate the space.â (He was referring to graphic design, but it might have served as a life philosophy).
âOf course, thereâs an absolute truth.â
âYou remember the first thing you see, but the last thing you hear.â
âThe power of three.â (Broke that rule with this list.)
âAdvertising is a frequency medium.â
âYou make album tracks. I make hit songs.â
Iâm not sure that he ever thought of himself as particularly quotable, but as youâll see below, I wasnât alone in internalizing. There were hundreds more bon mots, most of which he probably forgot as soon as he said them but stuff Iâve never been able to shake off, to this day.
His resume doesnât do him justice, but quickly⊠For 40 years, Dale Pon was at the forefront of media programming and promotion for many of the major media companies, CBS, NBC, Viacom, Storer Broadcasting (where we met). He specialized in radio throughout his career, but when Bob Pittman moved into cable television, he prevailed there too (âI Want My MTV!â is still returns hundreds of thousands of Google search results, 30 years after it went off the air). He was wildly successful in an advertising agency partnership with ad legend George Lois, before setting up a solo shop, Dale Pon Advertising, in New York City.
Dale was brash and loud, very, and he certainly wasnât to everyoneâs taste. The friend who first recommended me for one of his jobs called in a rage when he quit and said if I really needed a gig so badly⊠I knew Daleâs work from its supremacy of the metropolitan subway system for the New York country music powerhouse (a paradox if there ever was one) WHN Radio, but it hadnât occurred to me that actual human beings created advertising, or that it took any real brain power. Dale quickly disabused me of that notion, as he sent me to his tailor to buy me my first three piece suit (more appropriate for Park Avenue media than the cut off shorts I wore to our interview).
Most of all, he was really fucking smart. And deeply, articulately, astute about media. He could tell the story of radio stations or television networks better than anyone, and persuade their audiences to fall profoundly in love, by sticking to the basic human emotions like truth, desire, love. (My favorite? âLove songs, nothing but love songsâ for WPIX-FM, directly appropriated for an Off-Broadway show). He didnât end it there, with a creative, strategic and statistical brilliance that combined, to quote Bob Pittman (from another context completely) âmath and magic.â
What I appreciated most was his intense, almost overwhelming desire to teach me everything he knew at exactly the moment I was desperate for his knowledge. In fact, as I observed him with myself and others over the years, it would be fair to say that if you wasnât interested in being taught, Dale Pon wasnât interested in you. And, not for nothing, it went both ways. Heâs was as incisive a questioner and listener as one could want. Curious, intrigued, dying to know anything on almost any subject. In my case, it meant that we generally spent six or seven days together all the years we were together in two different media capitals. Whew!
Difficult? Challenging? Exasperating? You bet. I wouldnât trade that time for anything.
Daleâs the one who changed the course of my work life, and as Scott Webb says below, âhe changed me.â Itâs because of Dale that I stumbled on my understanding that I wasnât a music guy after all, or even a TV baby, but a pop culture sponge. I wouldnât had the chance to participate in any of the culture shiftings I got to observe first hand. Who knows, maybe I wouldâve stumbled through a life of complete dissatisfaction. Thatâs how profound his influence was on me.
Daleâs birthday recently passed by, and stuck for cogent things to say about him, I reached out to a few friends whoâve crossed his path and might be better at expressing themselves than I ever could. Youâll notice theyâre pretty powerful personalities themselves, but Dale made an impression. Boy, did he make an impression. (I left out some of those controversial moments and unproductive comments.)
Well, our friends didnât let us down. They got to the heart of the matter in ways I never could. Thanks everyone.
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Herb Scannell: Mythical.
Dale Pon is mythical.
Heâs the man who âwanted his MTVâ and got the world to say the same. My friend Fred always claimed that he learned whatever he knew from Dale and whatever I know I learned from Fred so it all comes back to Dale. Or blame them both. Happy Birthday Dale! Forever young!
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Bob Pittman: The Mad Scientist.
Dale Pon is the mad scientist of advertising. Full of passion, always with a breakthrough idea and the urgency to get it done quickly with no compromises. He made a huge contribution to my successes at WNBC Radio, MTV and even Six Flags theme parks. One of a kindâŠ.happy birthday to him from a big fan!
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Scott Webb: âMost people donât know how to think.â
Dale Pon didnât just change my life he changed me. He encouraged me to be brave and fearless and never stop solving problems. He is one of the smartest people I have ever met and the teacher I will never forget.
You never know how things are going to happen. After 4 years at Sarah Lawrence, one of the most expensive liberal arts schools, I was clueless about a career. My secret wish was to write comics (mostly because I had no talent to draw). Unlike most of my class at SLC my parents were basically working class folks with a yankee work ethic who expected me to not move back home after graduation.
One January evening, I was talking with my friend Betsy K who had just graduated. She had just returned home from job hunting in the city. She had an interview at WNBC Radio; they werenât hiring but were looking for interns. âWhatâs an intern?â I asked. I was so naive.
I immediately fell in love with the energy of the radio station. I had to work there.
âYouâll be working for Dale Pon. Heâs very demanding. Do you think you can handle that?â asked Buzz Brindle, a WNBC program director. Me? Of course! Iâve got my Yankee work ethic and my Sarah Lawrence education. I thought I was ready for anything. But I was not ready for Dale Pan.
Dale was bigger than life, louder than anyone else in the company and frequently slammed the door to his tiny office. I found him brilliant, charismatic and intimidating.
My first big assignment for Dale was to create a chart of all the radio stations in New York and rank them by ratings performance over the past 2 years. I wanted to do a great job for him but the truth was that I was terrible at chart making. I was a liberal arts comic book kid and he had me doing statistical analysis and I knew if I did a bad job I would probably face his famous wrath behind a slammed closed door. But despite my inept chart building, Dale painstakingly taught me how to read the Arbitron reports and methodically went through my work and instructed me how to correct it. I learned more from him over that 5 month internship than I had in my last 2 years of college. But my lesson wasnât in statistical analysis or radio promotion. Dale had high expectations of me, he believed in me and he was demanding in the pursuit of excellence.
A lot of people at the station didnât like Dale mostly because he would raise his voice to make a point or because he was passionate about his beliefs, or would not hold back his opinion when something was mediocre, pedestrian or just plain stupid. Dale expected greatness in people, work and business. His mission was to win and often people found that difficult to embrace. I, on the other hand, found it awesome. I guess he reminded me of the comic book heroes I admired so much - characters who were extraordinary and could do things other people thought were impossible. Most people at the radio station were happy to have a job and get a paycheck and could care less about being #1 but for him that was all that mattered.
It didnât hurt that he was so smart and insightful. He had the uncanny super power of understand exactly what the problem was â and he taught me that creativity was the ability to solve problems in fresh, innovative and smart ways.
âDo you know why I hired you?â he asked me at the end of my internship. âI didnât want to hire one of those kids who studied advertising or media in college. Those kids have been ruined. They show up thinking they already know everything - and they havenât even had a job yet. You didnât know anything but you were willing to learn and think. Most people donât know how to think.â Â
Those were some of the most important words I ever heard. They lit a fire of confidence and trust in myself that did not exist before and served me throughout my life, not just in work but in life.
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Bill Sobel: He yelled at me on the phoneâŠno idea why.
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Noreen Morioka: âGood creates things, and Evil destroys it.â
There is no doubt that we all have a great Dale Pon story. Dale never did anything average. He did everything in extremes. Whether you were laughing so hard that you couldnât breathe or wanting to shake him like a rag doll, Dale is unforgettable.
One of my favorite Dale Pon stories is when he was pitching a new name for a network. Since the channel was going to be all re-runs of a lower level, Dale named it Trash TV. I loved it, but when I presented my designs, he thought what I did wasnât trashy enough and proceeded to get another designer to put flies swarming around the proposed logomark. When he presented his concept to the network president, he stopped at the building dumpster and pulled out garbage to bring up to presentation. Needless to say, the meeting didnât go well, and the president was furious that Dale brought garbage into his beautiful office. Stern words were exchanged on both sides and security was called to take Dale and garbage out of the office. He called later to let me know they were going to search for another name. The network changed their name several times since then, and each time Dale would just smile. We all knew his solution was genius.
Like you, Fred, Dale taught me a lot. He taught me never to settle, always come back stronger and most importantly what the difference between good and evil was.
âGood creates things, and Evil destroys it.â Thanks to this simple Dale Pon-ism, I live my life by.
I will always have a deep respect and love for that guy. Happy Birthday, Dale. You are the true original.
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Tina Potter: So thoughtful. Â
Dale is a magnanimous gift-giver. I once told him the Chrysler Building was my favorite building in NY, and the next time I saw him, he brought me a beautiful framed B&W print of the building! So thoughtful. I still have it!
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Judith Bookbinder: ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
I learned a lot from Dale in a very short time.
Dale taught me that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
If you want to make something happen, figure it out or find someone who can do it for you.
This simple wisdom is something that has served me throughout my professional life.
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Ed Salamon: Directness and Simplicity. Â
I always appreciate the opportunity to say something nice about Dale, but the stories that first came to mind involved women, drugs, and fistfights. Or were otherwise too self-incriminating. Hereâs what Iâve come up with:
The genius of Daleâs creativity is its directness and simplicity (like âI Want My MTV!â). Unfortunately that sometimes resulted in it being underappreciated.
When we worked together at WHN Radio I once heard our boss say to Dale at the end of the day âWe need a new ad campaign slogan for the station by tomorrow. Take twenty minutes tonight, walk around the Village and come up with something.â
When I later started The United Stations Radio Network with Dick Clark and others, we hired Dale to create the logo, which  he agreed to do out of friendship for only a nominal fee. The logo was a distinctive type face, with the letters stuck together (âunitedâ). Some in the company commented that it was too simple; others appreciated its genius.
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Tom Freston: A great bunch of guys.
Dale is a great bunch of guys. Argumentative, persistent, a perfectionist, fun, difficult, and smart as hellâŠ.winning, ultimately, most of his arguments. Happy birthday.
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Therese Gamba: âWork smarter, not harder.â
Long before there was âBetter Call Saulâ it was âBetter Call Daleâ  when you were faced with a creative challenge.  Dale had a long term relationship with MTV Networks having been part of the launch team for that iconic channel.  So when The Nashville Network had to be relaunched  as the new home of the WWE (then the WWF), oh and it had to be done in three months, there was only one person to call.
My first meeting with Dale was over lunch at the Mercer Kitchen. Â Fred had prepped me that Dale liked metrics and to be ready for a lot of questions. Â But as anyone whoâs met with Dale will tell you, you can never be fully prepared for the hurricane of creative energy that is Dale Pon.
I was prepared with my Venn diagram of the overlap between TNNâs current viewers and the WWEâs viewers (no surprise, not a big cross section). Then the questions started in what felt like a ping pong match at warp speed. Â
Two hours into the lunch I had held my own and received the nod from Dale that I was on the right track. I was exhausted, relieved and thrilled to have passed the test. I learned that once youâve basked in the glow of Daleâs approval, you were hooked. Â I also learned that I had become a member of an exclusive club, âDaleâs World.â Â My fellow club members all know the stories, share the memories and still live by what he taught us.
Dale always said âwork smarter, not harder.â Â That mantra has never failed me just as Dale never failed to be supportive, inquisitive and completely one of a kind!
Happy Birthday dear Dale!
(From left): Dale Pon, Anne Grassi, Scott Webb at WNBC Radio, circa 1980.
Alan Goodman: âIâll give you 50 bucks to fuck up this guyâs haircut.â
Two stories about Dale Pon â
1. I was in Paris with Dale (who ran our advertising agency â my mentor was now my supplier) and MTVâs VP of Programming, Les Garland. Dale and Les werenât pals. How tense was it? We had dinner together one night in Paris and Les bought us all expensive Cuban cigars. Outside, Dale waited until Les split off to go to his hotel. The first second Les was out of sight, Dale pitched his cigar in the gutter.
We had flown on 10 hours notice so we could shoot Mick Jagger saying âI Want My MTV!â Dale had already shot a number of other MTV generation stars shouting the line, and some were even biggish. But Jagger was THE âget.â We knew that once Jagger blessed our campaign by participating, weâd get anyone else we would ever want. (We did).
We waited around the hotel a couple of days until we got the bat signal that Mick was ready, and raced over to his hotel to set up. Very quickly, what was supposed to be Daleâs shoot had become Lesâ shoot. Dale was pissed, rigid with anger, sequestered with me in the adjoining room forced to watch the proceedings on a monitor. I went over to him to try to diffuse the situation. I canât remember what I told him. But I remember his response, word for word:
âDo you think I need to hear any of this right now?â
I realized why I was in Paris. I was there, as the client, to witness who threw the first punch.
I had spent every single day of the past four months in the office trying to figure out how to do a job I had no idea how to do. I was exhausted. I had zero interest in the kind of politics and shenanigans that network executives pull, and I didnât want to be there. Thatâs it, I decided. Iâve had enough. Iâm a writer. I have a talent. I can make a living. I will get back home and I will immediately quit.
I said nothing. I smiled through the rest of the shoot. We stopped at a bistro after we wrapped, and had a lovely dinner and wine with the crew. It was a celebration. For good reason. We had Jagger. I stayed quiet. Silent, even. No one knew of my plans.
When we reached the hotel, Dale drew me aside and sat me down.
âYouâre not going to quit,â he said. What?! Huh?! How did he know? On top of everything, the man can read minds??!
âYouâre not going to quit. You are at the very beginning of something that will change the world, and you will have a great career. You have to stay there and be a part of that and do what you do really well. You cannot leave. Do you understand? You cannot quit.â
He went up to bed. I went home the next day, and didnât quit. Instead, I stayed and helped make the thing that changed the world. And it was the beginning of a great career.
2. I went to get my hair cut at Astor Place one day. I walked up to my guy, and there in the chair was Dale. I didnât know Dale used my guy. Dale looked up at me, looked at the barber, and told him, âIâll give you 50 bucks to fuck up this guyâs haircut.â
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Scott Webb (unedited): âHe didnât just change my life he changed me.â
You never know how things are going to happen.
I was a few short months away from graduating from Sarah Lawrence College with no idea what I would do for a job. I was a kid who had grown up reading and loving comic books. After 4 years at one of the most expensive liberal arts schools I was clueless about a career. My secret wish remained to write comics (mostly because I had no talent to draw). Sarah Lawrence was a great place for me. It was there that I understood how to learn. I was naturally curious and SLC exposed me to a world of ideas and brilliant people (students and teachers). But Sarah Lawrence was not a place where I could start a career path. 5 months from graduating I felt the looming pressure of finding a job and making money. Unlike most of my class at SLC my parents were basically working class folks with a yankee work ethic who expected me to not move back home after graduation. Â
One January evening, I was talking with my friend Betsy K who had just graduated. She had just returned home from job hunting in the city. She had an interview at WNBC radio with a guy named Buzz Brindle. She said they werenât hiring but were looking for interns. âWhatâs an intern?â I asked. I was so naive. She explained that an internship is where you work for free - for experience and to get your foot in the door. WNBC was part of NBC - one of only 3 existing TV networks at the time and my eyes lit up at the idea of of doing anything with a big media company. So I lined up a meeting with Buzz to see if I was intern material.
Buzz was sweet and avuncular and I immediately fell in love with the energy of the radio station. I had to work there. âWeâre looking for interns in the promotion departmentâ Buzz explained and I just nodded as affirmatively as possible. âYouâll be working for Dale Pon. Heâs very demanding. Do you think you can handle that?â Me? Of course! Iâve got my Yankee work ethic and my Sarah Lawrence education. I thought I was ready for anything. But I was not ready for Dale Pon. Â
I interned at the station 2 days a week and It appeared I was the only male in Daleâs promotion team. I reported to a woman named Anne Grassi but Dale was the boss. Dale was bigger than life, louder than anyone else in the company and frequently slammed the door to his tiny office. I had never worked in an office before. I found him brilliant, charismatic and intimidating. The other interns and I would huddle in the conference room where we did our work and wait for our next assignment.
I did many things as an intern but my first big assignment for Dale was to create a chart of all the radio stations in New York and rank them by ratings performance over the past 2 years. This was no small task - this was way before computers in offices - and required me to go to the NBC research department to collect dozens of Arbitron ratings books and laboriously extract the data he wanted and lay it out graphically. I wanted to do a great job for him but the truth was that I was terrible at chart making.
I was a liberal arts comic book kid and he had me doing statistical analysis and I knew if I did a bad job I would probably face his famous wrath behind a slammed closed door. But despite my inept chart building, Dale painstakingly taught me how to read the Arbitron reports and methodically went through my work and instructed me how to correct it. I learned more from him over that 5 month internship than I had in my last 2 years of college. But my lesson wasnât in statistical analysis or radio promotion. Dale had high expectations of me, he believed in me and he was demanding in the pursuit of excellence.
The chart was part of his battle plan to make WNBC #1 in the NYC market and when I understood the big picture of what he was doing I felt even more inspired and willing to do anything in the service of that cause.
A lot of people at the station didnât like Dale mostly because he would raise his voice to make a point or because he was passionate about his beliefs, or would not hold back his opinion when something was mediocre, pedestrian or just plain stupid. Dale expected greatness in people, work and business. His mission was to win and often people found that difficult to embrace. I, on the other hand, found it awesome. I guess he reminded me of the comic book heroes I admired so much - characters who were extraordinary and could do things other people thought were impossible. Most people at the radio station were happy to have a job and get a paycheck and could care less about being #1 but for him that was all that mattered. Â
It didnât hurt that he was so smart and insightful. He had the uncanny super power of understand exactly wha the problem was - and he taught me that creativity was the ability to solve problems in fresh, innovative and smart ways. âDo you know why I hired you?â he asked me at the end of my internship. âI didnât want to hire one of those kids who studied advertising or media in college. Those kids have been ruined. They show up thinking they already know everything - and they havenât even had a job yet. You didnât know anything but you were willing to learn and think. Most people donât know how to think.â Â Those were some of the most important words I ever heard. They lit a fire of confidence and trust in myself that did not exist before and served me throughout my life, not just in work but in life.
Dale Pon didnât just change my life he changed me. He encouraged me to be brave and fearless and never stop solving problems. He is one of the smartest people I have ever met and the teacher I will never forget.
.....
Susan Kantor and David Hyman were on the opposite side of their relationships with him, Susan as a long time account executive in Daleâs agencies, and David as a client. Drew Takahashi, a trusted friend and wonderful creative partner. Â
Iâm particularly fond of the pull quote from Davidâs recollections. Having had hundreds of restaurant meals with DP over the years, waitress confusion was probably my overriding remembrance.
Susan Kantor has traveled to the upper heights of television since her time with Dale Pon in the 1980s. But when you read her memoir below he prepared her well, as he did with all of us.
Drew Takahashi is a director who co-founded (Colossal) Pictures, San Francisco, one of the most creative production companies of the 1980s and 90s, and one of the key creative suppliers to the first decades of MTV.
David Hyman became my head of marketing at the MTVi Group when the company purchased Sonicnet.com, one of Davidâs early digital music endeavors (heâs gone on as founder of MOG, one of the seminal digital music streamers).
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Susan Kantor: âLead, donât followâ. Love, Daleâ
Hands down, Dale Pon was my most influential career mentor. Ridiculously smart, enormously passionate, admirably courageous and truthfully a little scary.
We would all brace ourselves for the moment the elevator doors opened and the sound of his fiercely determined walk in his trademarked cowboy boots could be heard. With the first, âgood morningâ would come a rapid fire interrogation of where we were at on all the âto doâsâ he had just given us an hour ago. âWhy isnât it done yet?â
Leslie Fenn-Gershon and I used to joke about putting a Valium in his Perrier so we could get through the day.
When I got to the office in the morning there would often be a ânoteâ, on my chair written with red Sharpie marker on yellow pad lined paper (pre-email), from Dale. Â His handwriting, had as much conviction as his spoken word. Â These encouraging notes were meant to guide, remind, teach, mentor or simply, to show his appreciation - often complimentary, occasionally piercing. I still have them.
âLead, donât followâ. Love, Dale
âLetâs make things happen!â Love Dale â
âThere are children and there are parents. Be a parent.â Love, Dale â
âEveryone wants to be told what to do. Tell them.â Love, Dale â
âWe had a good day today. Thank you for your help.â Love, Dale
As we chased rock stars around the globe helping MTV and VH1 revolutionize the music industry, and traversed across the county to position many TV and radio stations in their market, Dale always imparted the importance of what we were doing and demanded we do our very best, every day.
He recognized my innate work ethic, enthusiasm and willingness to do whatever it took to learn and succeed â he also knew how young and naĂŻve I was. Â Ripe for mentorship and direction. I got both, and then some. The Dale Pon âboot campâ was not always pretty, but it was always colorful, impactful, memorable and most importantly, meaningful. Â
Not only did he teach me all about advertising and the importance of finding the unique selling proposition and saying it as simply as possible so people would remember it, he showed me the world and how not to be intimidated by it. He made me self-aware of my talents and my shortcomings. He also taught me there was no substitute for doing the work.
To this day, I love you Dale and I thank you for believing in me and giving me the chance of a lifetime.
Belated birthday wishes and hope to see you again soon!
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Drew Takahashi: ââŠhe gleefully pushed me to do stuff I hated.â
After seeing you and the MTV crew took me back to good/bad old days. I realized I missed Dale Pon.
Back in the day I didnât know he was a mentor. I only knew he gleefully pushed me to do stuff I hated. In the end I realized you and he knew what was better for me than what I knew. Someday Iâll learn my lesson.
Steve Linden and I went to shoot with Dale for WNBC [AM]. He asked us to meet him at Windows on the World bar for drinks and dinner. He showed up two hours later and Steve and I were suitably toasted. Then he insisted we join him in a very alcoholic dinner. I was so hungover the morning of the shoot I didnât know how I could direct the talent, Don Imus. Dale apologized for needing to shoot something first so we didnât roll my spot until the afternoon. Saved my ass.
Many more memories. The weirdest was him in the Colossal bathroom cleaning crabs of their guts for a surprise picnic in the middle of our animation camera shoot.
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David Hyman: â[He] always confused the waitresses.â
Hereâs mine:
Dale came up with the name of my company, Gracenote. Â I think that just came really easy to him. Â
For a while he was a really great teacher to me. I stubbornly couldnât take the occasional abuse that went with it, even though it was probably good for me. I was honored to be asked as the voice over for a $30 million tv ad campaign by Dale and encouraged to do voice over work. Thrilling to be informed I had career chops outside of sales & marketing.
Dale is the only person i know that would always order two margaritas for himself (at the same time). It always confused the waitresses.
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With Dale Pon @WHN Radio. 1977, New York City.
It was against all odds, but my late 70s stint in country music radio hooked me up with a mentor who made the difference.
Before I got to New Yorkâs 1050 WHN, I was aware of the station. Well aware. Sometime in 1976, my friend/future partner/father of my beloved nephew and niece, Alan Goodman, asked me whether Iâd seen some giant subway posters (the top photo above). Of course, Iâd noticed them, with large portraits of Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, The Eagles, Charlie Pride, Loretta Lynn, Kenny Rogers, Olivia Newton-John, Linda Ronstadt and seemingly dozens of other traditional and contemporary stars of the era. There were so many, they seemed to be everywhere. And, they were gorgeous, well designed, in a sea of drop-dead-New York graffiti, hum drum posters, homeless campers and mess, standing out like nothing weâd ever seen down there before. Too bad it was for music we couldnât stand.
After I got the job with the stationâs creative director and ad man, Dale Pon (another story for another time), I found out a bit about the thinking at the station and the advertising campaign. How did a city that was the home of the most sophisticated popular music of all time âto the likes of Duke Ellington, George Gershwin, Irving Berlin, Frank Sinatraâ welcome the shitkickers in and become the second most popular radio station in the United States (or the world, for that matter)?
Dale was the supremely gifted Vice President of Creative Services, and he introduced me to Ed Salamon, the stationâs innovative program director (Neil Rockoff was the General Manager who brought them together), who used a Top 40 radio approach* to country radio, upending the entire (typical New Yorkerâs) notion that country music hadnât evolved since Hank Williams.
No ordinary radio promotion guy, Dale had been a media buyer at Ogilvy, a radio upstart (a mild description) when the world switched from AM to âprogressiveâ FM, and run radio ad sales teams. In the 80s, he would go on to successfully run his own advertising agency, and together we started one of the most famous media campaigns of all time, âI Want My MTV!â). Â
Dale Pon wasnât going to promote the station as cowboy boots and hats, like the last team did. He wanted big ratings for WHN, big ratings. They all did.
* If youâre interested, Edâs written a book that details his contrarian, and wildly successful, methods called WHN: When New York Went Country. Â
WHN Radio illustrations from top to bottom, all creative direction by Dale Pon 1977: New York City subway station double truck posters (L-R) Olivia Newton-John (obscured), Linda Ronstadt, Elvis Presley; Olivia Newton-John; Kenny Rogers; Television/Radio Age cover ads; Linda Ronstadt double truck subway poster.
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I Want My MTV! Early 1980s, New York City.
MTV had been on the air for six months and weâd fired the storied Ogilvy & Mather and hired Dale Ponâs LPG/Pon (a joint venture with George Lois) at my insistence. Now they were presenting their first trade campaign for advertisers and cable operators and my first big decision was being called into question. America is fast becoming a land of Cable Brats! âItâs audacious! Outrageous! Just like you guys.â George Lois was a big talker, a big seller, and a bit of a smart ass, loudmouth. He was also smart. Even though I knew he designed the âcable bratsâ thing, it was my brilliant mentor Dale, whoâd never steered me wrong creatively or strategically, who was behind the whole thing. His ex-girlfriend, and now one of my best friends, Nancy Podbielniak, had written the copy. Besides, I agreed with Dale that generally trade advertising was a waste of time and bigger waste of money. Consumers were where itâs at, and werenât all the tradesmen we were hopping to reach consumers too? If we had a knockout punch of consumer advertising our job would be done. I knew he was keeping his powder dry for the big show.
America is fast becoming a land of Cable Brats! Thereâs an incorrigible new generation out there. They grew up with music. They grew up with television. Â So we put âem both together â for the Cable Brats, and theyâre taking over America! Theyâre men and women in the 18 to 34 age range advertisers want most â plus the increasingly important 12 to 17 segement. The Cable Brats buy all the high volume, high ticket, high tech, high profit products of modern America. Theyâre strong-willed, cunning, crazily impulsive â an advertiserâs peerless audience. They look and listen and they want their MTV. And they buy, buy, buy. Rock'n'Roll wasnât enough for them â now they want their MTV. (The exploding 24-hour Video Music Cable Network (and itâs Stereo!)
George was certainly right. It was audacious, and it was a touch outrageous. Somehow, the tone wasnât quite right, but after the crap Ogilvy had done for us, it was way better. Besides, hidden in there was the sand grain that was going to lead us to our pearl.
.....
I Want My MTV! 1982, New York City.
vimeo
I WANT MY MTV! took the phenomenon that had taken over the imaginations of young America and supercharged it into a famous brand with just about everyone in the country. I just googled [in 2010]Â âI Want My MTVâ and it popped up almost 4,760,000 results. Pretty amazing for an advertising campaign that ceased to exist 22 years ago.* Pretty potent. Â The whole thing was the work of my mentor and friend Dale Pon. Heâd been my first boss in the commercial media, at WHN Radio in New York when it was a country music station. Heâd recommended me for my job at Warner Amex Satellite Entertainment Company, as the production director of The Movie Channel, and eventually as the first Creative Director of MTV: Music Television. Weâd fallen in and out over the years, but in late 1981, when it came time for us to hire an advertising agency again âat first, the top dog had vetoed Dale as not heavy enough for a company like oursâ with a lot of help from my immediate boss Bob Pittman, I was able to convince everyone that Dale understood media promotion better than anyone else in America. Anyone. Besides, didnât he have âinsuranceâ with his partner, legendary adman George Lois?
Dale Pon (via MTV: The Making of a Revolution)
No one had ever encountered an ad executive like Dale, because he had the unique ability to be completely and analytically strategic ââmath and magicâ Pittman might call itâ and be wildly, and intelligently, creative at the same time. An almost unheard of combination, especially in media advertising. Sure, he had a volatile nature, in advertising that was often a given (look at his partner). But it was his strategic, creative abilities that really set him apart.
Weâd already done our first trade campaign, the âCable Brats,â to the discomfort of most of the suits in the corporate marketing group (Bob and his team, me included, were in programming). But Dale didnât buy into the efficacy of trade ads anyhow, so now were onto the big show, television advertising. The only problem was that we all recognized that an effective campaign would cost about $10,000,000. Our budget only had $2,000,000, and if we didnât spend it quickly the corporate gods would probably take it away in the fall.
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"I want my Maypoâ commercials, created by John Hubley
Looking back, the core creative ended up being the most straightforward part. Daleâs closest friend and creative partner, Nancy Podbielniak had written the cable brats copy and had a tag line âRock'n'roll wasnât enough for them â now they want their MTV!â That rung a bell in George Lois, someone who never missed a chance to abscond with someone elseâs good idea, and decided to rip off his own knock off of a Maypo campaign from the 1950s and 60s (animator John Hubley originated it as a set famous animated spots, and George had unsuccessfully knocked it off using sports stars) and presented a storyboard that completely duplicated his version. Rock stars like Mick Jagger were saying âI Want My MTVâ and crying like babies, implying they were spoiled children being denied. No one was buying it until Dale let me know that there was no way heâd ask Pete Townshend or Mick to cry for us. âPride! They need to show their pride in rock'n'roll! Theyâll be shouting!â After a little corporate fuss we were able to sell it in.
AMERICA! DEMAND YOUR MTV!
Now, it was the next part that was completely and utterly brilliant. Because Dale came from the school that great creative was all well and good, but unless it could move the business needle, what good was it? In this case, the needle wasnât ratings (cable TV didnât have ratings in 1981), but active households, distribution for MTV. Cable operators were all relatively old guys who thought The Weather Channel was a better idea; theyâd turned a deaf ear to their younger employees who were clamoring for us instead.
To dramatically simplify the strategy Dale organized, he decided to only advertise in markets where:
âą There was enough penetration to justify a modest ad spend.
âą But where there were critically large cable operators on the fence about taking MTV.
âą And that we could afford a 300 gross rating point buy (three times heavier as any consumer products agency would suggest) for at least four weeks in a row (the traditional media spend would call for pulsing 10 days on and 10 days off).
The âGâ in LPG/Pon was Dick Gershon. Along with data from our affiliate group, he crunched and crunched and crunched until he came up with a list of markets and dates we could afford. It was 20% of what we needed, but everyone figured if we could really start to knock off a bunch of cable systems, get them actually launch our network, the domino effect would solidify MTVâs hold on the market forever.
Strategy in place, the creative was back on the front burner. The basic campaign was a great way to get famous rock stars endorsing our channel, but where was the close? What would actually make the 'ka-chingâ we needed? Luckily, back in the day there was only one way to for a homeowner get anything from your reluctant jerk of a cable operator (they figure they held all the cards, why should they do anything to make life better for their consumers?). And what was it that young adults loved to do? Dale knew immediately.
No one alive in front of a television set in the summer of 1982 could ever forget
Pete Townshend, with the wackiest haircut of his career, shouting at the video camera:
âAmerica! DEMAND your MTV! Call your cable operator and say, "I WANT MY MTV!!â
We shot the spots wherever the rock stars would have us for 20 minutes (they still werenât really sure this MTV: Music Television thing was going to be good for them). Our director and producer, Tommy Schlamme and Buzz Potamkin, got together with some puppeteers to choreograph the 'dancingâ stereo television. I asked my partner to go into the studio to edit the music sections when they werenât rocking enough, and âpoof!â famous advertising.
Nothing to it, yes?
* For comparison, âI Want My Maypoâ posts 112,000 results on Google. Or âWhereâs the beef?â, another famous 1980âs campaign for Wendyâs returns 176,000 (or if you only use that phrase, which has been appropriated for all sorts of uses, you get 2,640,000).
.....
âMee, mee, me, meeee!â MTV Networks Online, 1999/2000 New York City
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MTV got Sonicnet in the middle of another transaction they thought would be more important. But as the internet heated up in the business worldâs consciousness, Sonicnet.com became something they thought to pay attention to. Which meant that, as president of MTV Networks Online, I was trying to help make the thing successful.
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MTV had also acquired a then-unique personalized radio application. Coupled with Sonicnet, we decided an ad campaign would supercharge the site, something large media folks like us thought was necessary. (It wasnât.*)
Over a few objections, I hired my brilliant, challenging mentor Dale Pon to create our campaign. Dale had done our the iconic âI Want My MTVâ for me in the early 1980s and constantly proved himself to be the most creative and effective media ad man in America. The stunningly talented and perfectly musical film director Tim Newman was already on our online staff (after turning his back on a career that included some of the greatest music videos of all time), so he was really the only person who we thought could direct the spots. Dale hustled our head of marketing, David Hyman, into his one and only âand perfectâ voice acting job. (And, I should put in a word for the Sonicnet logo. Designed by AdamsMorioka, from a concept developed by Fred Graver.
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You can see for yourself that Dale knew how conceive big ideas to bring out the best from stars. With Tim in the directorâs chair, the results were pretty stunning. And, to cap it, Dale really knew how to use MTViâs clout to reach for the stars (like Isaac Hayes, James Brown, Joshua Bell, Jewel, Pat Metheny, Sheryl Crow, Beenie Man, Gang Starr, Faith Hill, Lindsey Buckingham, Don Henley, Al Jarreau, Alice Cooper, Blink 182, Kenny Wayne Shephard, Bon Jovi, Buck Cherry, Charlotte Church, Christina Acquilera, Dwight Yoakam, The Ruff Ryders, Eve, Johnny Resnick (The Goo Goo Dolls), kd lang, Buck Cherry, Kelis, Lindsey Buckingham, Melissa Etheridge, Moby, Seal, Sisqo, Static X, SheDaisy, Hillary Hahn, Charlotte Church, Yo Yo Ma, and Sting.)
This campaign, like every other one Iâd worked on with Dale over the decades, was a hoot. One of the best things to come out of my one year in the early corporate internet.Â
âŠ..
* IMHO, one of the great mistakes media companies made during Web 1.0, was thinking that their traditional audience reach would give them huge advantage in building web destinations. Theyâd made the exact same mistake in the transition from broadcast to cable. It didnât occur to them in either era that a basic misunderstanding of the newest medium ânot knowing what the audience wanted from the upstartsâ would not attract anyone to their websites.
And, by the by, the same mistake has been made from popular websites bungling the transition to mobile. And, so it goes.
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itâs time for my play-by-play review (put some breaks in so itâs not a giant wall of text):
âHere in Duckburg, life is like...a hurricane?â Ha ha theme song reference.
El Pato is Spanish for the duck and that amuses me. Although we call our version of that storm system El Niño, so shouldnât it have been El Patito?
Mr. Chunkâs EXTRA CHUNKY Chili Chunks
âCould you give us a hand?â *All laugh* In hindsight, he probably should have helped them instead of using the time tub again. Heâd still get in trouble for stealing, but he probably would have gotten a less harsh punishment.
âWe should have plenty of food we wonât get sick of.â âI said sick from and you know it.â Classic kid logic.
Are the chili dogs a Sonic reference, since Ben is playing him in the upcoming movie?
âChili dogs put the âhoorayâ in âhooraycaneâ party.â That was an awful pun and we should all be mad at Della for it.
âAnd we all get scurvy. Again.â This is why they need Donald home.
âIs that your parenting strategy or did you get that off a bumper sticker?â Beakley keeps in real.
Beakley and Della have a great dynamic this episode. I honestly think Beakley sees a lot of herself in Della and is trying to teach Della what she wishes someone had taught her when she had her own kid(s).
Louie pushing Huey to the center of the room so that nobody notices him leaving, smart.
âMy brotherâs gonna be a professional nerd.â Hooray for supporting your brother!
Mary Poppins-CONFIRMED MEMBER OF THE MCDUCK CLAN.
The wooden cane reminds me of Hop Popâs
âThat boyâs up to something.â Crazy thought here but maybe you should be proactive about that and follow him YOURSELF.
Launchpad never ceases to amaze me. How did he nail wood to STAINED GLASS?
Thatâs coming out of his paycheck.
âYouâve got your own tub?! Lucky.â GET THIS MAN A TUB, STAT!
I hope we get more Louie and Launchpad stuff. The way they play off each other is great.
Louieâs little presentation is great and runs on kid logic.
Bubba is adorable.
BWAMP. Nice sound effect.
âTime Treasures, a subsidiary of Louie Inc. Itâs not a crime if itâs lost to time.â Cute, but I doubt that would hold up in court.Â
Also, did Louieâs plan/most of the episode remind anyone else of Benderâs Big Score? Bender pulled a similar scheme at the end, only his time traveling caused a rip in the fabric of space. So they got off lucky here?
I totally buy Launchpad keeping a shower cap and rubber ducky on his person at all times. I WANT HIM TO GET HIS BUBBLE BATH, DAMMIT!
âHEY COOL. A DEAD GUY!â Dewey, you really shouldnât get that excited over corpses. I know Bubba is actually alive, but did they?
Webby, Bubba is taller and buffer than you. I donât think he qualifies as a âlittleâ guy.
I DEMAND to know about the times Scrooge was frozen in an iceberg! Is Webby counting the time he and Goldie were frozen together?
Metaphors and hypothetical situations donât work on Della. Maybe itâs a pilot thing.Â
âHISTORY IS ALIVE!â I LOVE MY NERD SON.
I love when people meet someone who doesnât understand them/speaks a different language, they think talking louder will help.
âHeâs got a hat like a person!â Is that racist?
Of COURSE Dewey turns the hat backwards.
âYour Funky Fresh waysâ These kids have watched waaaay too much 90s media. The little hip shimmy was great.
Chili dogs>tree barkÂ
âMan, I am learning SO MUCH.â Me too, Webby. Me too.
Did the exchange between Louie and Launchpad about the ethical nature of Time Treasures remind anyone else of when Jim and Launchpad discussed Jimâs plan to get himself into the movie or am I seeing parallels where there arenât any?
Louie went to the school of Katara. (Both agree itâs ok to steal from pirates)
NOTHING is ever 100% safe
Dewey reeeeeeally wants another sibling. I bet someone is gonna push his mom into the dating scene.
OG DUCKTALES REFERENCE FTW
Bubba-a lyrical genius
Launchpad looks SO LOST while all of this is going on. Though he seems pretty lost in the whole episode.
âAt least make him wear a helmet.â Safety lessons!
âSHUT UBBA, MAN.â
âDonât think about it too hard.â A rule of thumb when dealing w/ time travel.
Poor Launchpad is having an existential crisis.
 And THAT is why we leave time travel to the professionals, Louie. Next time just ask Uncle Scrooge.
How did they make a graphic for Timephoon so fast?
Roxanne is salty, but of course the source is McDuck Manor.
I DEMAND MORE FRANKLOON. Maybe Fenton could write a musical about him. Sidenote: I REALLY WANT a Ben Franklin musical.Â
Bubba-an artistic MARVEL
Shimmy that board clean!
The little head stroke she gives Louie. MY HEART!
I...donât think that is how to do math.
âI see how you turned this into a lesson in parenting and Iâm impressed.â THATâS HOW GRANDMAS ROLL.
Gyro-the most USELESS TWINK. I love him.
I love the way Bobby says âoh boyâ for Louie.
âHE IS OFFENSIVE TO THE FIELD OF ANTHROPOLOGY!â Time travel in general is probably offensive to anthropology.
Is it wrong to enjoy Huey going FERAL AS FUCK? Because I thoroughly enjoy it.
Why would you listen to Dewey on research?
âDid you SEE that finger progression on that solo?âÂ
Bubba-MASTER MUSICIAN! Also, KEYTARS ROCK!
âCOME HERE, YOU HISTORICAL ABOMINATION!â Not saying Hueyâs killed a man, but he knows how to and how to cover it up.
 Pretty sure Webby and Dewey are trolling.
âDefinitely not cloning an army.â I have SO MANY QUESTIONS.Â
Louieâs in hoodie-ville.
âHe could be anywhen!â Time travel jokes.
I like that they all assume itâs Gyro at first. WHAT CRIMES HAS THIS MAN COMMITTED?!
âItâs one of the kids.â âIâll get Dewey.â I could see Dewey stealing the time tub, but heâd just try and change the name of things into Dewey puns.
Ninjas,worse than termites-Scrooge Mcduck, 2019Â
MORE BEAKLEY/DELLA TEAM UPS PLZ
âEven good kids do dumb things.â And good adults. No one thinks Louie is a bad kid, but he was pretty dumb.
What was with the log?
SANTA TRAP
âOh no, they may be French.â That line made me laugh.
Launchpad falling asleep when the tapestry was over his face-hilarious.
âDonât ask.â
Launchpad-always asking the right questions.
âThank you past and/or future me.âÂ
I love Huey trying to make sense of Bubba.
âI hate this.â
Poor Huey.
Bubba-an amazing animal tamer
I really like how much Della admires Beakley.
Webby shouting âGRANNY!â T_T
So is that picture of Scrooge, Donald, and Della fighting pirates a time travel related adventure?
Hi Woody and Jessie
âIâVE IMMEDIATELY FAILED YOU.â Mood
Launchpad is so wise. But I think time is more timey-wimey, wibbly-wobbly, right Scrooge?
Dellaâs angry mom voice
The fight is cool.
âAH, ME SCURVY!â BRICK JOKE FTW!
Not the time for time travel logic, Dewey. Plus they seem to be coming from different countries so anywhere would still work.
Bubba-A HERO
âGO, YOU FREAK OF HISTORY!â
#youtriedLaunchpad
âEVERYTHING WE DO HAS ALREADY HAPPENED!â
Della shouting âKIDSâ and Louie shouting âMOOOMâ really hit me in the gut.
Letâs pour one out for Bubba.
I PRAY TO GOD someone writes fics about what each character was doing in the time period they ended up in.
Della was giving me MAJOR Joan of Arc vibes in that armor.
Yeah, this scene hurt. But it needed to be done. Louie still seems to think that it was all a good idea. He hasnât learned his lesson yet.
That scene also reminded me of Merida and Elinorâs fight in Brave. Both sides have a point, but both went too far.
Iâm glad Louie didnât instantly accept his mom. Itâs more interesting that way and feels real.
I love that Launchpad looks around at everyone before he reacts. He most likely knows nothing about the Spear of Selene incident so he has no idea of how hurtful Louieâs comment was.
Gyro had NO REACTION to any of that fight.
That broke poor Della.
âI went to the future. Iâve seen how the world ends.*pause* It was neat! See you there soon!âÂ
I wonder why Launchpad was the only one who went forward in time. Could it play a role in stopping the invasion?
âSome people arenât ready for the truth.â So wise.
Bubba-THE FIRST OF CLAN MCDUCK
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Iâve always had extreme visceral reactions to music â tears, goosebumps, hairs standing on end, bursts of euphoria up and down my spine, that whole vibe. And Iâve always wanted to write about music, but Iâve read so much garbage-ass writing about music that Iâve long been scared off trying only to end up adding to the muck.
Iâve long been scared off of trying most things, honestly â perhaps the number two reason why I donât get it when people continuously call me brave, second only to my bone-deep fear of abso-fucking-lutely everything. Yes, I somehow make the fear of trying into a separate thing from fear of everything in general, as I have truly mastered the art of crippling anxiety, thank you, thank you.
Plus I always feel like I ruin songs for people by talking about them with such fanaticism (nevermind my frequently frustrating flair for melodrama) â canât help but be let down to some degree if not completely, right?
But oh well. Iâve decided to try, clumsily. I donât know what I am doing, but I am try. I am try, internet, and that is the best I can do.
Nevermind where Iâve decided to start, I mean Jesus. Not just Kanye but recent Kanye at that. Poets, in my experience anyway, tend to hate Kanye West. These days, everyone with a soul seems to hate Kanye West, actually. The bipolar in me feels for him when he goes off the rails though, first of all, but secondly, and most importantly, I fell in love with his work way back when Through the Wire happened (two-thousand-fuckin-four yâall), and am devoted in the way one becomes when they go on a 15 year journey with an artist, one who frequently disappoints, one whose flaws have always stung (equating strippers with murderers on Jesus Walks, letâs say), one who has become a shining example of my ability, willingness and, at times, eagerness even, to separate art from artist.
(I have so much to say about art v. artist / appreciating art made by deeply flawed creatures, even be they madmen or monsters, some day, says she who is neck-deep in Henry Miller as we speak.)
So all that is just my introductory caveat. I never claimed to have mastered brevity. If anything Iâve claimed to fail at it in an epic way, having gotten worse as time has worn ceaselessly on. But whatever. What the fuck ever.
Okay. So. I actually have to begin with yet another caveat: The nearly insurmountably awful thing about this song is his lyrics â especially the very first two goddamn lines of the very first verse, speaking of being unpopular with poets, nevermind people who just think itâs above and beyond gross to claim credit for Taylor Swiftâs career while simultaneously talking about fucking her even though heâs married with kids and she was a teenager when he first descended on her life. Making me defend Taylor Swift is egregious at best. For that alone, I could just kick him right in the cock. So, the best way to hear the forest through the trees is to act like his lyrics are in a language you donât understand. If you can do that, you might actually be able to take this journey with me. Might. But if you canât? Best not to even bother.
But before he gets around to making me hate him, Rihannaâs naked voice descends heavily, heavenly, to pool at the small of my back like a silken comeshot, a sound raw as fresh meat and divine as the kill, delivering me with a bounce down into Swizz Beatzâ wild WOOOO, that decadent, ecstatic beat, that burst of sound that comes on like cocaine used to when Iâd spend all night shooting it (blowing through his life savings, ripping our lives apart, destroying my veins such that itâll always hurt, always take a hundred tries as I sit there thinking, âI could do this shit in thirty seconds with sheer force of will, Jesus Christ,â though I say nothing), great, grand boot-kicks to the chest like BAM BAM BAM.
(But it also honeys up like heroin did, softly reverberating, simmering, delivering me into the first verse (that is, donât forget, in a language we donât understand) on a velvet pillow, its fingers in my hair like Sunday morning.)
Then, two verses in, sheâs back, breaking my heart, turning the single word âdidâ into an entire universe, sends sweet shivers up my spine, often brings tears to my eyes. Just that â just one fucking word. In the verse that follows, thereâs this moment where all but the driving drumbeat drops out and he holds me in rapture with the way he pauses there (at 1:33, to be specific), gearing up to toss me into the real sorcery, that heartfucking moment when Rihanna hands me off to Sister Nancy, those bom bom bom beela bom bom ay ay ay ay ay ays laying me down in a field of feathers, makes my hips dance unbidden like a luxuriant fuck at two in the morning every time, sends me reeling.
And even despite not caring much one way or the other for someone playing hype-man in a song, Swizz Beatz draws me in so much deeper with his hearty GODDAMNs, his spooky, feral WOOOOs fingering their way all along and deep inside me, thrumming there, calling, calling.
Then, as if all that werenât enough to flay and lay me down, it closes with Nina Simone, her glorious, throaty spell casting a heartbroken pall over the whole affair, killing me in her own special way with that same single word then dropping out with a slight echo so abruptly that the whole affair leaves me feeling a little disoriented, a little lost, even as I listen to it on a loop for hours at a time.
I find its structure alone to be masterful, its own sort of genius; complex and layered, heralding the unexpected structural shifts used to expert effect in, say, Travis Scottâs Sicko Mode, lifting you up then laying you down to tangle inextricably: Lovemaking and soft and sweet and hard and hungry kisses and a hot fuck up against the wall all in rapid succession without so much as a second to catch your breath; a revelation.
A while back he and I, the one my heart will forever break for, discussed Kanye for a bit â the way his production skills have been, as time wears on, outmatched, at times even displaced, by his skill for curating art and artist, that genius gift for construction shining through in the way he can use seven (fuckin seven!) different producers on one song yet deliver a final product that is fully cohesive despite the ways it splinters, a song that takes you on a very real journey, stitching together disparate parts in a way that haunts as it worms into the ear.
But I mean, maybe thatâs just me.
Up next: Mask by Bauhaus.
#creative writing#writing#words#music#kanye west#kanye#rihanna#nina simone#sister nancy#swizz beatz#the life of pablo#art vs artist
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*Top 5 Rap Verses Of 2017*
Iâm still in 2017 (w)rap-up mode, because so much damn good music dropped in 2017 and there is still plenty to dissect! But how does anyone manage to parse through a years worth of lyrics to pick the cream of the crop? The answer is simple: itâs not possible. The definition of âbestâ will change with time, enivornment, and even how the listener is feeling moment to moment.
But with any art form, it should be expected that personal feelings are a deciding factor. So for my list of the best rap verses of 2017, I considered the strength of the lyricism, the message, originality, the rapperâs ability to edit him/herself to achieve max tightness across the whole verse, the execution of the overall theme, persuasiveness of the artist, the quality of the full song, and of course, how I personally connected with the words of each artist.
These are just some of the verses that stayed with me the longest, but please feel free to share any others that blew you away. And if you missed any of these when they first dropped, please press rewind and enjoy my picks for the Top 5 Rap Verses of 2017...
5. âGunsenseâ verse 1 - Roc Marciano, Rosebuddâs Revenge
Roc Marciano gets away with ârappity rapâ verses (staying with one rhyme pattern over the course of the whole verse, almost like a freestyle technique) because heâs a truly gifted writer. Every bar matters, and every word feels deliberately selected, he knows exactly how to execute. For that reason, Roc Marciâs verses tend to shine on paper. Rosebuddâs Revenge is jam-packed with quotables, but this tough verse on âGunsenseâ includes some lines that really pack some impact, with a high potential for longevity (lets just hope Roc continues to get the credit for those rhymes)....
âSince a snot nose We chopped Os Popped Roscoes Left one lock like Shakka Amose Diamond collar bone Swerve pot holes Cop clothes like niggas murdered in Chicago Miami Beach Polyamory Free financially You should see the body on my spanish bitch Motherfucker this is art You can't just pick this apart This not a hobby, this is therapy Nigga we run this You a fucking fungus I'm just having fun with this I live in comfort We don't pump fake The pump ain't fake, I came to dump it Still run with the same niggas I came up with Bust guns with rubber grips Bitch, whatever it is Just get it off your chest like a breast reduction Yeah I'm back on my back of tricks I fucked hip hop, I had to dead the bedwench I've been better ever since You still woulda thought you had better sense Niggas ain't got no self respect You can fuck with that but that ain't this though That wax shit disco, I dismiss hoes Bout to cop the Rolls with no tints, fish bowl French toast then go hit up Sak's Fifth for trench coats Sink your boat Your body wash up somewhere in Glen Cove I was always told to push the envelope It had blow in it though Look what the wind blew in, in Kenneth Coles Quick, pull a lick like a pick n' roll The give and go, some nights alone, run the iso I'm not a racist, dipped Jesus face in white gold I know I know That's not the Messiah's nose, he had wide nostrilsâ
4. âC. Deloresâ verse 1 - Royce Da 5âČ9âł, The Bar Exam 4
As long as Royce is rhyminâ, heâs going to make his presence felt on this list. By now, the Detroit legendâs proficiency with the pen is so well documented that heâs only chasing âall-timeâ status. As with previous years, Nickel Nine contributed a plethora of great work to sift through, but this verse on âC. Deloresâ is a great example of Royceâs ability to drop bars and share personal perspective.
âWe started off as targets We had the Congress mad at the whole genre Tryna get rid of us Now it's like we not even trying to be good It's like we just sitting ducks in the eyes of evil I open windows with hopes that the wind blows you ten mo' blessings Set my Timbo's next to my dresser with the Nintendo, and yes The extendo's on the AK 47 and it's wrapped in the dresses of En-Vogue It's time, it's time to move something I guess we missed our window to try to prove something Spot a whack producer from across the room Walk up to him, smack his hookah across the moon Break a platinum plaque over a rapper back Go and toss that bitch into a dark lagoon Go into the heart of the art form with a harpoon They ain't skilled enough to stand the field with us You gon' have to retire me It's only like four or five of you rappers who can actually inspire me I be out here telling the truth I should sign my autograph with a polygraph I move in silence Tryna get to you 'fore you could brace yourself Cause I'm tryna put yo' ass in a body cast Y'all niggas lollygag, not me This evening I'm with the biggest spenders having the most prestigious dinner You eating Church's Chicken with suspicious fictitious sinners I'm a living legend, you a fidget spinner I'm getting cheddar, they tryna catch up to my past M's And I'm getting better quicker, tryna catch up and pass Em' I be blacking out, you could ask them Everything I spit be sick, gag phlegm Everything I wear be tailor-made to fit, Giraffe trim Huh, it seem like everybody out here right now wanna be 'Pac While I'm zoning, stirring the pot I'm 'bout to go so motherfucking Lamont Coleman This 'bout to be disturbing to watch While I'm out here swerving the drop Your favorite rapper 'bout to get cleaned up, served in a box Like laundry detergent, pushing 'round these birds with a mop Tryna stay in a genius, creative state of mind Tryna stay sharper than straight sharks in a 'gator pond Grate her down, all for the greater good and the greater grind While they denying now, all these heathens be crying 'bout Taking care of two, three dudes but these people be lying We keeping it G, we keeping the iron out They feed negativity, we eating vagina while Keeping it Zion, we turning the streets of Detroit to a D zoo Eating while we feed people to lions The dude that I brought with me psycho and schizo He think that he Luke, he like to lift you and make you skywalk You don't wanna play with none of his make-believe truth They'll make the iron speak too He'll do the R2D2 to your heart Until it's parts of a easel Threw a piece of your heart in a jar for the people To dissect at Juilliard I'm the best at who we are, that's fucking food for thought Nobody else been thinking like me thus far though Subpar cerebralsâ
3. âSmileâ verse 3 - JAY-Z, 4:44
Most of us didnât think Shawn Carter had enough left in the tank to scrap with the best in the game today. But on 4:44, Hov continued to pad his legacy with great songs and memorable lyrics. With âSmileâ, after already dropping personal gems on the first half of the song (most famously a reference to his mother coming out of the closet), Jigga closes things out with arguably his strongest verse in yeeeeeeaaaars....
âI mastered my aesthetics I know you often heard me wax poetic 'bout bein' back in the Lexus But trust me, that was nothin' a nigga up in The hundreds of millions, I have no ceilings, ah, this that feelin' I'm that boy Anita Baker's "You Bring Me Joy" slappin' out of the toy The separation is clear in my rear-view mirror Objects is further than they appear Oh yeah, I was born with a pair, playin' for high stakes Norman's Cay, he looked up and out of the Lear How niggas can't relate? Fuck a slice of the apple pie, want my own cake In charge of my own fate, respect Jimmy Iovine But he gotta respect the Elohim as a whole new regime And niggas playin' for power, huh So our music is ours, niggas own their own houses Ours was, "Fuck you, pay me" now it's, "Fuck payin' me, I pay you Put the rest away for Blue" That blood money I giggle at it, can't even support my miss' habit Jewelry shoppin' in Pa- all ya jewelers should be embarrassed Huh, blood diamonds drippin' with guilt, I still ain't trippin' That's life, winners and losers Drug dealers and abusers, America likes me ruthless My therapist said I relapsed I said, "Pre-haps I Freudian slipped in European whips" God sent me to break the chain, I'm the true and livin' God in the flesh, the rest of these niggas is vain A stain on the white suit, inferior IQ Niggas'll rip your shit off TIDAL just to spite you Ahhhh, what did I do? 'Cept try to free you Niggas'll love you but hate you 'cause they can't be you Dump 'em all in the bayou, uh Everybody wave bye to the guy you thought you could lie to This was meant to be a haiku, huh But my story's too wide to fit inside the line or two Oh, these that drugs, heron flow, I spaz on the stove This is Hov, no flex zone, nigga, who lied to you? Look, you a pedestrian, don't ever question the security I provided you Oh y'all thought I was washed? I'm at the cleaners Launderin' dirty money like the Teamsters, huh Shout out to Hoffa back home, he in the church When I heard you got booked, that shit hurt Fear for you, bro, we know the system don't work Take a young nigga freedom over some dirt Yet it's legal in Colorado, yeah, we deny Black entrepreneurs, free enterprise That's why it's a black market, that's why it's called the trap That's why it's called the projects 'cause it's exactly that All these people was gon' kill me, heh 'Cause the more I reveal me, the more they 'fraid of the real me Welcome back Carter, smileâ
2. âJUNKYâ - Kevin Abstract of Brockhampton, Saturation II
Brockhampton shouldnât work. A collection of young talent thrown together to crank out multiple volumes of material in a short period of time? How can artists develop actual musical chemistry under those conditions? Well I donât know, but they did. âJUNKYâ was one of the standouts off of Saturation II, and Kevin Abstractâs opening verse was a major reason why. I donât know if I have ever heard such an aggressively open verse from a budding homosexual rap star. Abstractâs words are sharp, freshly delivered, unforgettable and hopefully a turning point for a genre of music that, historically, has lagged behind on too many LGBT matters. Â
âI spit my heart out, lookin' out for my best interests He gave me good head, peepin' out while the windows tinted I speak in tongues and I arrive without a damn mention It's kinda sick and I was born in 1996 and 1999 the only year that I remember I slip through the cracks without havin' a damn temper I bleach my hair because these bitches all about they bitchin' I say shit when I rap and y'all niggas barely listen I do the most for the culture, nigga, by just existing Delete my tweets 'cause I'm ashamed of being a fuckin' Simpson I told my mom I was gay, why the fuck she ain't listen? I signed a pub deal and her opinion fuckin' disappearin' I'm payin' bills for my sister and tryna fund her business Is it homophobic to only hook up with straight niggas? You know like closet niggas, masc-type Why don't you take that mask off? That's the thought I had last night "Why you always rap about bein' gay?" 'Cause not enough niggas rap and be gay Where I come from, niggas get called "faggot" and killed So I'ma get head from a nigga right here And they can come and cut my hand off and, and my legs off and And I'ma still be a boss 'til my head gone, yeahâ
1. âFEARâ verse 3/4 - Kendrick Lamar, DAMN.
In my mind, âFEARâ was an obvious choice. Someday DAMN. may be regarded as a classic, but for now, it should at least be considered a special album. With the first two verses on âFEARâ, Kendrick breaks down the different shapes of anxiety that went through his mind at age 7, and then at age 17. Then he writes from his point of view at age 27, as a successful rap star. What we find is a problem that could not be solved by getting older, or making more money. What we find is that anxiety is a disease that cannot be simply crushed under the weight of any amount of monumental achievements, it only keeps changing shape. Kendrick Lamar shared his own fears on this song, and with that, he has penned an inspirational rap song about struggling with anxiety. I really related to that, and I hope others did as well.
âWhen I was 27, I grew accustomed to more fear Accumulated 10 times over throughout the years My newfound life made all of me magnified How many accolades do I need to block denial? The shock value of my success put bolts in me All this money, is God playin' a joke on me? Is it for the moment, and will he see me as Job? Take it from me and leave me worse than I was before? At 27, my biggest fear was losin' it all Scared to spend money, had me sleepin' from hall to hall Scared to go back to Section 8 with my mama stressin' 30 shows a month and I still won't buy me no Lexus What is an advisor? Somebody that's holdin' my checks Just to fuck me over and put my finances in debt? I read a case about Rihanna's accountant and wondered How did the Bad Girl feel when she looked at them numbers? The type of shit'll make me flip out and just kill somethin' Drill somethin', get ill and fill ratchets with a lil' somethin' I practiced runnin' from fear, guess I had some good luck At 27 years old, my biggest fear was bein' judged How they look at me reflect on myself, my family, my city What they say 'bout me reveal if my reputation would miss me What they see from me would trickle down generations in time What they hear from me would make 'em highlight my simplest lines I'm talkin' fear, fear of losin' creativity I'm talkin' fear, fear of missin' out on you and me I'm talkin' fear, fear of losin' loyalty from pride 'Cause my DNA won't let me involve in the light of God I'm talkin' fear, fear that my humbleness is gone I'm talkin' fear, fear that love ain't livin' here no more I'm talkin' fear, fear that it's wickedness or weakness Fear, whatever it is, both is distinctive Fear, what happens on Earth stays on Earth And I can't take these feelings with me, so hopefully they disperse Within fourteen tracks, carried out over wax Searchin' for resolutions until somebody get back Fear, what happens on Earth stays on Earth And I can't take these feelings with me, so hopefully they disperse Within fourteen tracks, carried out over wax Wonderin' if I'm livin' through fear or livin' through rap Damnâ
*Honorable Mention*: âThe Prestigeâ - Jean Grae, âEaster Gunday 2âł - Mach-Hommy, âBullet Klubâ - Benny, âMarksmenâ - Ka, âRiviâ - Benny, âDNAâ - Kendrick Lamar, â100,000 Machine Gunzâ - Royce Da 5âČ9âł, â4:44âł - JAY-Z, âFamily Feudâ - JAY-Z, âBlack & Uglyâ - Rapsody, âFreeâ - CyHi The Prynce, âRick Boxesâ - Conway
#Best Rap Verses#kendrick lamar#Jigga#Jay-z#4:44#DAMN.#Jean Grae#rapsody#Brockhampton#Kevin Abstract#cyhi the prynce#Conway#Mach-Hommy#Fear#Rap Genius#royce da 5'9#Junky#Gloria Carter#Bar Exam 4#Saturation#quelle chris#Benny#Griselda Records#c. delores#Roc Marciano#G.O.A.T#B.o.S#Rosebudd's Revenge#RR2#RR1
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VULVARINE on tour Presented by Fat Rascal Theatre Company King's Head Theatre June 11 - 6 July 2019 Interview with Robyn Grant, artistic director of Fat Rascal Theatre and performer in Vulvarine âRipping apart comic book Superhero clichĂ©s and gender stereotypes ⊠with songs that stand out for their ingenuity, wit and catchinessâ â
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London Pub Theatres review LPTmagazine: Hi Robyn, The VULVARINE tour is well under way now but weâre delighted that youâre coming back to Kingâs Head Theatre, with your anarchic musical. As Artistic Director of Fat Rascals are you the genie behind it all? Robyn Grant: Weâre thrilled to be returning to the Kings Head! As one of their associate companies it really feels like our London home and we canât wait for the London audiences to get their teeth into it. As for being the genie I wouldnât say that at all haha, I have the most fantastic team around me here at Fat Rascal. Our brilliant producer Laura Elmes who is a total power house, my genius co-lyricist Daniel Foxx, our wonderful associate director Siobhan CannonBrownlie and of course our amazing cast and crew. Theyâre such a joy to work with and make my job very easy indeed. LPT: We imagine the first rehearsals were laugh a minute, but perhaps it had a much more serious intent? RG: We came into the show knowing exactly what we wanted to say. We had a few research days looking at the marvel universe and its lack of female characters, at the tampon tax and everyday sexism, at the pharmaceutical industry, hormonal treatments frequently used on women and the risks they pose. With all of that in our backpacks we dived into the adventure of creating the comedy, the pace and the feel of the show. All of our political elements are an undercurrent, fuel for the fire and made to seep into the audienceâs subconscious. From rehearsals forwards its really our job to make people laugh! We all get on so well more often than not rehearsals just feel like playtime and itâs up to poor Siobhan to come and reign us in, tell us to get off each others backs, put the wigs down and do some bloody work. LPT: Allie Munro is electric in her role as the hopeless Bryony Buckle thrust into a Spiderman-esque scenario as Vulvarine, complete with nuclear sea urchins. In the story itâs the result of hormone therapy gone wrong and a well-timed bolt of lightning. What was the hardest part of putting all these elements together? RG: Figuring out the story for this show and creating a sensical and satisfying arc was the hardest part for me. As you say thereâs so many elements but we want our work to be fun, fast and accessible. No-one should feel left behind. Allie is a total gift of an actor because whatever you throw at her sheâll take it and make it her own, and also almost translate it for the audience. Sheâs so relatable, likeable and god damn funny I almost think thereâs nothing that girl couldnât sell. Saviour of womankind? Easy mate. LPT: Youâre also acting in the show, playing multiple roles. Could you tell us a bit more about your role as the wittily named Mansplainer? RG: The Mansplainer is Vulvarineâs arch nemesis. Heâs a 55 year old evil marine biologist called Keith Herlit who harbours a love of The Greatest Showman and a hatred of womankind. It sounds completely nuts Iâm well aware but he is SO much fun to play and one of my favourite parts to date. LPT: Thereâs no doubt the show has heart, but whatâs the break-through scene for you? RG: I love the romantic duet at the showâs climax, âThe Office Boy and Vulvarineâ. Itâs a total celebration and pastiche of musical theatre cheese and 80âs rock ballads. Thereâs a disco ball, thereâs dancing fish and thereâs some tasty AF harmonies. Itâs everything Iâve ever wanted to make and the audience always bloody love it, itâs so silly and satisfying. LPT: With the larger than life characters and the catchiness of the songs, have any of your audiences got carried away? RG: Yes they get rowdy and we love it! With our shows we always want the audience to know that theyâre welcome to laugh, cheer and whoop. This isnât a night at the theatre to sit and be silent. It should feel like a party, a celebration; everyone should feel totally empowered and badass at the end. The ladies in Bristol who brought in a bottle of prosecco each and sang along with the finale, we salute you. Equally the gang who were all dressed up as the Mansplainer in Sheffield, fantastic work. LPT: The show is certainly a master class in multi-roling, with a caste of five playing a multiude of roles. Whatâs the secret to your success? RG: We have a firm (and probably unwarranted) belief that anything can be done and that if it seems impossible, itâs probably a gift. Crowd scenes, flying and manic fast changes; Things can go wrong at any time, the audience are totally in on the joke and that creates an electric atmosphere. We just need them to be on our side, they are very much the other actor in the room and if theyâre willing to buy it and laugh, anything can be done! LPT: Have you got a favourite stand out moment in the show yourself? RG: I love the reprise of the title song âVulvarineâ, sang by Sonya, the Mansplainerâs wife (Played by Steffan Rizzi). Itâs such a great empowering moment of girl power, weâre careering towards the end and DANG, boy can SANG. LPT: This isnât your first addition to the musical theatre genre, you took TOM AND BUNNY SAVE THE WORLD to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2017. That was an equally hilarious take on the Zombie Apocalypse trope so we wondered what else you might have up your sleeve? RG: Well well well, not a white rabbit but an Octowoman! Weâre currently working on our new musical âUnfortunateâ, the untold story of plus-size icon Ursula the Sea Witch. Itâs a parody based around Disneyâs âThe Little Mermaidâ and hoo boy are we excited about it. Think sass, sex and suckers. Weâll be taking the show to the Edinburgh fringe festival this summer alongside Vulvarine. LPT: Finally, what do you think is the best thing about bringing the show to Kingâs Head theatre on this leg of your tour? RG: Fabulous London audiences including Rascal fans old and new, a brilliant space to bring the show to life in and a delightful pub for a summers eve G&T, what more could we want!? THIS SHOW HAS ENDED VULVARINE Presented by Fat Rascal Theatre Company on tour: Komedia Brighton, May 27th â 29th King's Head Theatre June 11 - 6 July 2019 Cast Doncaster, July 10th The Lowry Salford, July 11th â 12th Kingâs Head box office Bryony Buckle is astoundingly average. Her days are filled with mind numbing office work, thinking about lunch and lusting after Orson Bloom from IT. But following a dose of hormone therapy gone wrong and a well-timed bolt of lightning, Bryony gains superhero abilities and a brand-new persona: Vulvarine, saviour of womankind. Where is all the tampon tax going? Who is The Mansplainer, and what is his evil plan? Grab your tights, your spanx and your most supportive sports bra. Itâs hero time. "We came into the show knowing exactly what we wanted to say. We had a few research days looking at the marvel universe and its lack of female characters, at the tampon tax and everyday sexism, at the pharmaceutical industry, hormonal treatments frequently used on women and the risks they pose. With all of that in our backpacks we dived into the adventure of creating the comedy." "Allie is a total gift of an actor because whatever you throw at her sheâll take it and make it her own, and also almost translate it for the audience. Sheâs so relatable, likeable and god damn funny I almost think thereâs nothing that girl couldnât sell. Saviour of womankind? Easy mate." "This isnât a night at the theatre to sit and be silent. It should feel like a party, a celebration; everyone should feel totally empowered and badass at the end. The ladies in Bristol who brought in a bottle of prosecco each and sang along with the finale, we salute you. Equally the gang who were all dressed up as the Mansplainer in Sheffield, fantastic work." "We have a firm (and probably unwarranted) belief that anything can be done and that if it seems impossible, itâs probably a gift. Crowd scenes, flying and manic fast changes; Things can go wrong at any time, the audience are totally in on the joke and that creates an electric atmosphere." Share by:
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The Forgotten - Part Four
Another Chapter Eaten, here to repost
Temptation
Whole story
She could see Donnie; plain as fucking day but behind what seemed like a blue portal in flux. The light was in the middle of a giant arch, something the genius had been working on for years but was unable to get powered up. He had told her it was supposed to be a window between dimensions or possibly more. Leo had hoped it would be an easier way to move from Earth to the battle nexus and visiting Usagi but when the war had started it was abandoned for more important issues.
It was like looking at an old tube television that didnât have the best reception. The rolling lines of static rolled up the portal skewing her view of him occasionally but there was no doubt, it was her beautiful nerd.
She could see most of his body and he was typing away at a tablet in his hand. His goggles that sat upon his bald crown were smaller yet looked more advanced but that purple mask was still wrapped around his skull. Her feet moved before her mind caught up with them racing towards the gorgeous sight of the tall genius. âDon!â
His head snapped up at her voice âAurora!â Donâs voice was muffled like static, distant but she heard him. God he looked beautiful and most importantly alive!
The view of the tall terrapin in the vortex suddenly became unstable swirling violently around him. Shrinking and growing with each pop of energy, like it was threatening to sever the connection at any moment. Aurora hurried to cross the large lab but the closer she got to it, the smaller the portal seemed. It was going away; she was going to lose him again!
âDamnit!â She heard him growl looking down at the tablet that was now out of sight. âItâs still not right.â His brown eyes rose in sheer panic locked in on his advancing kunoichi. Donatelloâs green arm pushed through the closing vortex outstretched for contact. âAurora!â
âNo! Donnie!â She reached his hand just in time grasping it tightly reveling in the feeling of his three fingered appendage, he was warm and real. âWhere are you?â she was nearly sobbing now as the portal shrunk further leaving only his shoulders and head visible. Her grip tightened on his hand ready to yank his tall ass through the opening. But then the warm flesh in her hand began to disappear, fazing in and out of solid matter much to her horror. No, she didnât want to me alone anymoreâŠ..
âAuoâŠ.râŠaâŠâŠIâm âŠstâŠâŠtryiâŠâŠ.to getâŠâŠ.back.â his voice was breaking up along with the view of him.
âNo, no, no Donnie please I need you!â
âMyâŠ.brothâŠ..I misâŠâŠ..Aur...loveâŠâŠâŠâ Then the portal snapped and fizzled loudly before shutting down with a bang taking Donatello with it.
The lab sank into darkness once again as the arch powered down. He was right there; she was touching himâŠ..after 3 years Aurora had Donatello within her grasp. The crushing realization he was gone again brought Aurora to her knees. The cement floor was unforgiving but that pain didnât matter. Her hands lifted to her nose and took a good pull finding his scent there, faint but it was there. She pressed the palms of her hands to her face trying not to cry, this wasnât a bad thing, she had to remind herself. They thought he was dead; the idea of Donnie abandoning them was too incomprehensible to entertain so the other options were terrifying. Or maybe he was locked away in Bishopâs keep doing work for him against his will, the one they could never find. But now, now it was clear he had been transported someplace, someplace he was trying to return from. He was trying to get back; she had to hold onto that, it was all she had.
Slowly she got her to feet, the resistance needed to know this. Maybe there was something they could do. Casey, April and Aurora could bring the arch back to head quarters and see if they could get it back open, find the last location of the transmission?
Aurora began closing the Lair back down prepping for its extended hibernation. One last look at their bed she flicked off the light and made her way back up into streets of New York. April and Casey would be happy to know Donatello was alive and it would give the resistance new hope. It gave her hope.
She kept to the roofs avoiding prying eyes from the streets. The way home was straight forward but still on high alert Aurora took a few extra turns to make sure she wasnât being followed, even sitting in the shadows of a billboard to keep an eye on the horizon. There was no telling how persistence Raphael was in this state.
When she deemed it safe to return to base Aurora slipped into the abandoned warehouse by the Hudson keeping to the shadows. Â Moving past the old canning machinery and empty shattered crates the blonde made it to the secret door to the resistanceâs base.
As she reached the main level Aurora was greeted by April and Casey who looked like they had just returned their selves hands filled with boxes. April turned and let out a long breath seeing her friend returned safely.
Casey set down the two boxes he had been carrying and greeted the kunoichi with a hug. âYou ran into him? Howâd the asshole look?â
âHeâs looking healthy and still a horny shit as usual.â Aurora moved to the boxes he had been carrying and peered into them finding canned goods and a small stash of ammunition. âEven under Bishopâs control he still has sex on the brain. I think his memories were trying to break through though. Raph remembered the game him and Leo used to play.â
âWho marked you first right?â April chuckled handing off her extra weapon to the armory for safe keeping. âThey were relentless werenât they? I donâtâ know how you accommodated them every morning. You were lucky Mike and Don didnât get into that.â
âYeah...â Casey chimed in handing off his gun as well. âThey would have put you in a wheelchair for sure. They were in rut most of the time I canât imagine four of them vying for the first fuck every morning. Youâd never leave bed.â
âThey werenât that badâŠâ
âCommanders!â a voice shouted from down the hall. A young soldier came into view hauling ass as he ran to his superiors. His wide toothy grin was evident he had good news or at least thought he did. âWe have one!â
âYou have one what?â Casey looked to April confused.
âOne of the turtles! We caught one! We wanted to surprise you.â
All at once Aurora, Casey and April stopped breathing turning to each other in shock. This was not happening, what had they done?
April swallowed hard moving towards the eager young man, âWhich one?â
âFrom what Iâve been told, Leonardo.â
With the mention of his name the room began to spin. Auroraâs heart hammered into her chest making it hard to breath. This wasnât happening. She pushed past April and gripped the manâs shoulders squeezing maybe a little too hard with her growing unease. âPlease tell me you didnât bring him here.â
The manâs face paled instantly mouth opening to speak but nothing came forth. His silence was all the answer they needed.
âFuck.â Casey moved back to the armory and called for his gun again. âThatâs it, weâre fucked you god damn morons.â
âYou fucking idiot.â Aurora growled pulling the inexperienced solider closer; she was ready to rip his head off his shoulders. âYou did NOT catch Leonardo!â It was suddenly hot in the large hallway. Why was it so fucking hot? Â âThis was planned, Leonardo allowed you to catch him. Now heâs in the base compromising our position putting everyone here in danger. Please tell me you at least blindfolded him? Tell me you at least did that?â
âOh yes! We put Gregâs sound canceling headphones over his ears blasting his shitty music. Wrapped his eyes in black gauze and put a thick black hood over his head. He has no idea where we are.â
âAt least you had the sense to do that. But it might not be enough. Where is he?â April grunted in frustration resting her forehead on Caseyâs shoulder.
The soldierâs enthusiasm had dwindled with the curt scolding from his three superiors and now as he brought them to their willing captive the manâs head hung with embarrassment.
As they moved towards the baseâs center, where the lethal mutant was being held Auroraâs mind began to fill with anxiety. This is what he wanted; you donât capture Leo unless he wants you too. He was a ninja master, taught by the very best and an efficient escape artist and a strategist, he was simply perfection. It was the very reasons Bishop coveted him and his brothers. In the wrong hands they were the prefect weapon, skilled killing machines that disappear into the shadows before you even knew you lost. This would not end well.
Rounding the corner Aurora caught sight of him right away. Green taut skin stretch over mountains of muscle, thick arms and legs bound to the table in the integration room. His vision was still restricted but as soon as Aurora entered into the room Leoâs head turned towards her and she could see the fabric concave as he took in the air.
âThere you are.â His smooth voice purred through the fabric going straight to the center of her soul. She was in trouble and there was no denying her body still remembered him, craved him, just the deep vibrato of his vocal chords sent her body into overdrive. Â
Leoâs head followed Aurora as she moved around the table taking in his bound form. She watched his muscles flex and bunch as the terrapin tested his binds, calculating his options. The urge to touch the green scales of his arms was tempting, he was restrained but it was only a matter of time before he broke loose and reeked havoc on the good people here. She needed to prevent the bloodshed but how?
April broke the bitter silence first her voice rising with her anger for their disregard of protocol. âHow could you idiots bring him here without consulting us first? Especially Leonardo!â
âWe thought youâd be happy April. You too AuroraâŠ..especially youâŠ..Weâve been trying to get them back for years.â One solider stated as he stepped forward, the look on his face was of confusion but he had no idea what they brought down on their home. âHe attacked us on our supply run and all of us were able to overpower him.â
âYes we want them back but not still under Bishopâs influence!â Casey came in next starting to pace the floor eyeing up his soldiers.
Aurora paid no attention to the continuing argument between Casey, April and their team, the only thing that mattered was the green mutant laying a few inches from her. As she watched his hands clench and unclench Aurora remembered their soft caresses, endearing and sure. They were talented beyond anything she could have imagined when they first experienced each other. This deadly being, sleek, and inefficient so feared now, once brought her to the highest heights. She loved him without question but she knew if these restraints were gone he wouldnât hesitate to kill her in this state of mind. Her fingers ran over the scar he had gifted her a few months ago. It was a sobering thought and a gloomy one.
It was killing her being this close to Leo and not being able to touch him. Just a small touch couldnât hurtâŠcould it? Her hand moved from the cold metal table and ran over the dense muscles of his thigh. She smirked as they jumped at the connection; maybe fearless was a little anxious after all.
âI have an idea.â Leo spoke again calm as ever yet pressing up into her hand. âHow about we take this blind fold off, itâs getting rather itchy. Is this any way to treat a prisoner?â
Aurora let a small laugh escape giving his thigh a quick squeeze before releasing the dense tissue. âCut the shit Leo, we know well enough that youâre here on your own accord.â
âYour troops got the better of me and subdued me with their superior skills; I am at your mercy my lady.â She could hear the sarcasm in his voice as Leo played out his game. She couldnât see his mouth but Aurora could hear the smile, it absolutely dripped with superiority.
âWhere are your brothers Leo?â Aurora asked softly as the whole room watched their interaction.
âOh I assure you I am solo. When Raph came home he was rather frustrated. Told me he had gone looking for something we both covet, actually all three of us want but was unable to secure it. I decided I would try to locate it on my own. Besides, the thought of taking it first made me veryâŠâŠâŠ motivated. Unfortunately I was found and taken captive by these fine soldiers before I could find my target.â
Her heart began to thump wildly within her breast at the thought of his words, âWhat will you do when you finally get what youâre looking for?â
The terrapin took in a slow breath before letting it out in a long low growl, âI havenât figured that out yet. What does one do with something they obsess over? Kill it or let it consume you? All I know is Iâm looking forward to the opportunity to purge myself of its influence.â
Casey came up behind Aurora resting his hand on her shoulder. âMaybe we can send him to R & D and see if they can find that little thing in him? I mean now we know what it looks like maybe they can pin point it somehow?â
That was something. There would need to be round the clock security on him but if he was here they could try and utilize the opportunity to see if they could locate the device with a living host. âHe does not leave this table and his restraints will NOT be removed for any reason. Any reason you hear me!? Not without Casey, Aprilâs or my explicit orders.â Her violet eyes moved with urgency as the soldiers took in her orders. âThere will be no less than six guards posted to him at all times. If he tries to fidget more than usual you knock his ass out. Am I clear?â
âYes Aurora.â They all responded in unison. Â
The sound of the terrapin laughing behind her was off putting but she did her best to ignore him, she was too tired for this bullshit.
As they carted Leonardo out the door towards the R & D wing she heard him, âIâll be seeing you later Aurora.â
The room empty April moved to her friend wrapping her arms around her neck pulling her into a tight embrace. âYou look like shit.â
âThanks.â
âHow was the lair? Anything need attending?â Â Casey asked softly coming up behind the two woman.
Thatâs when Aurora remembered, she pushed April from her embrace and her face lit up, âDonnie!â
âWhat about him?â
âHeâs alive! I saw him for a few second today! In the lair, in his lab!â
Casey and Aprilâs mouth hung open still trying to process what the kunoichi was saying.
âFucking what?â Casey moved first his eyes wide and hopeful. âWhy for only a few seconds? Where the fuck is the genius?!â
âDo you remember that big arch he was working on, the one he said would be a doorway to different dimensions? It happened right after I got off the phone with you. I could hear something going on in his lab and opened the door to that thing powered up and Donnie just behind the blue energy field.â
âNo fucking way! What did he say?â April was now bouncing up and down smacking Casey on the back waiting for more information. Â
âOww Ape, fuckin stop it.â
âNo! Keep going Aurora.â
âThe portal was unstable and began closing right away and the connection was shottie. His voice was breaking up but I heard him say that it wasnât right yet and he was still trying to get back.â Auroraâs voice was cracking with her exhaustion and her bubbling emotions, it had been months since she had a good nightâs sleep and it was catching up with her. Taking a small second she recomposed herself and started again. âHeâs not dead and he didnât abandon us. God I wish the guys were here to hear this.â Another shaky swallow of her dry mouth and Aurora looked up at her hopeful friends. Â âIâm not sure if we should bring the arch back here and see if we can figure out where the last transmission came from or if we should just wait until he figures it out? The thing is, I never saw it working before. Did he go to the lair the last day we saw him to work on it and did something go wrong? Mikey was certain he saw him go into his lab here before we went to bed.â
Then two sets of hands landed on her shoulders making the kunoichi stop. Aprilâs hands cupped her cheeks and leaned in to press a soft kiss to her parched lips. âTake a deep breath Rora, we are so happy you were there to witness it. It gives us hope, but I can tell youâre about to crash, you need some sleep.â
âYeah weâll have this discussion when youâve had at least 6 hours sleep. Weâll deal with Leo and the arch when youâre a little more rested. Sheâs right you do look like shit and today has been an emotional one for you.
âFor us all.â Aurora corrected him with a shuttering breath.
âSleep.â
Begrudgingly Aurora shuffled to her room, her large empty room and didnât even bother with a shower. She could swear she still smelt Raphael on her and maybe, just maybe that would help her sleep. Maybe she could trick her mind into thinking he was there sleeping at her side. She stripped of her clothes and crawled into bed pulling the cool covers up to her chin.
Closing her eyes Aurora pictured Raphael and Leonardo, the brute and his taste, her lips rejoicing at his familiar flavor and Leoâs voice and the feel of his skin. Then Donnie and the quick but thankful handful of his grasp, all it was missing was her ball of sunshine, Mikey. With their memories fresh in her mind Auroraâs subconscious began to drift allowing her a seamless transition to slumber.
She didnât hear the door open or the bed dip with his weight but as the cold steal pressed down on the soft flesh of her throat Aurora knew it was too late. She didnât struggle there was no point in it, if she moved even an inch the way he didnât want he could soak theses sheets they had once shared with her blood.
Her eyes opened slowly, Leonardoâs face coming into focus as the sleep faded from her vision. The terrapin was just above her and the look he wore was purely sinful. Like the cat that had just eaten the canary or was about too. Aurora swallowed feeling the mutant finish crawling onto the bed to join her.
âH-how many did you kill?â
A soft patronizing chuckle filtered from between his perfect lips. The blade clutched in his hand tilted making Auroraâs neck follow, that was if she didnât want her carotid to open. âDonât worry, I took no lives tonight.â Leo shifted forward grabbing at the thin sheet that covered her naked form and began to pull. âI came here for only one reason tonight and killing your people would put a rather large kink in my plans.â
She didnât resist and allowed the fabric to pull free of her breasts watching the blue in his eyes disappear as his pupils engulfed the vibrant color. âYou mean your men.â
Leonardoâs breathing had increased but his hold on that damn blade never wavered. âYours, mine, it makes no difference, I did not kill a soul within these walls. They will wake in a few hours with splitting headaches.â Â His lips pursed for a moment focusing in on the two round globes now heaving on her chest. âThey are more spectacular then what I could have imagined.â The descent of fabric halted for a moment as Leonardoâs head lowered and his nostrils flared. âI can smell him on you.â
âYour brother? Yes, Raphael was rather insistent that he have me before you.â Aurora rose slowly making sure not to make any sudden movements keeping her eyes locked with her deadly guest. âHe found out just how inventive I can be.â
Leo allowed her to rise to a sitting position finding as he did the rest of the fabric fell pooling at the ultimate prize. Her midriff wasnât perfect, the scare he had left months ago plus a few others that kept it company had healed nicely. His free hand reached out touching lightly at the abrasion smiling as the muscles below jump at his contact. âRaphael is impulsive, undisciplined but none the less is the very best on my team. When he told me you got the better of him tonight my already peaked interest in you heightened. I didnâtâ dare tell him the mere scent of you on his clothes sent my animal instincts into overdrive. Now smelling him on you makes me want to drench you in my scent.â
âItâs presumptuous to think Iâd allow that to happen if I refused Raphaelâs advances earlier.â Auroraâs voice shook slightly as her confidence waned at the sight of him looming closer, eyes practically fucking her. Suddenly the walls of her sodden cunt began to vibrate with unparallel need.
âYou forget my little ninja; Iâm mutant and part animal.â His nostrils flared once again. âI can smell your arousal, its delectable aroma is thick and I can taste it on my tongue. In fact I am positive you want me just as much as I want you. Maybe even more?â Leo closed his eyes and took a deep breath growling as her pheromones made every pleasure receptor snap to life. âFuckâŠ. why do I want you so much?â
That was when she heard the desperation in his voice, it was faint, but she could hear the slight tremor in his words. He was breaking under the stress of uncertainty. That was her moment and she moved with all her training taking possession of his weapon and lunged forward.
In the scuffle the sheets pulled free and Aurora found herself on his lap, arm securely around his throat pressing the tip to his jugular. Their mouths were so close, so fucking close and she could smell the tea on his breath as it fanned over her face. Leonardo still drank the same Gyokuro brew; his expensive taste followed him into servitude. Fuck, she didnât think this through at all. She was naked straddling his thick powerful thighs and she could feel it, straining against his pants pulsating with each beat of his heart.
âTell me Iâm lying.â He mused but found his cockiness underappreciated and sucked in a breath as the tip of the blade pierced the green scales drawing a bead of crimson. But he was a stubborn turtle and refused to back down. âIf we were something, show me. Remind me of what Iâve been missing all these years.  Your scent, your god damn scent has been haunting me for months, haunting us. I donât do this⊠I donâtâŠâŠ I donât lose control and all I want to do is bury myself so far in your body that I forget everything. Forget this war; forget why I donât feel at home anywhere but with you, someone I have absolutely no memory of. Do you have any idea how infuriating that is?â
He had no fucking clue; her bitter laughter filled the room, âTry loosing the people you love the most for years, coming up empty handed in your pursuit to find them again and again. Then suddenly they appear with no knowledge of you, dead set on your demise. Try enduring the pain of being sliced open by one of the men you love and as you bleed out he wraps his hands around your throat slowly squeezing the life out of you.â
She watched the cockiness drain from his face, unexpectedly at the loss for words. The hardness in his cold blue eyes softened searching her for the truth. He was contemplating something.
She continued, âRaphael remembered something tonight, a game you and him used to play. I think smelling me on him jogged your memory a little as well.â
The terrapin let out a long sigh and she could feel a little of the tension leave his body, he was no longer coiled to strike, âI wasnât angry or jealous. It was strangeâŠâŠit was just the competitiveness; he had gotten to you first. â
âTell me Leo, why did you come to my home?â
âFor you.â His voice was but a whisper, soft and sweet against her lips, the venom slowly disappearing with the space between them.
Auroraâs tongue moved across her bottom lip tasting his breath, he was so close. âWhat do you want with me?â
âI had two plans; one would rid me of the temptation and the otherâŠâŠâŠ. would satisfy it.â
âI see since I am still breathing I deduce youâve chosen the latter.â Her hips rotated slightly brushing the bulging fabric of his crotch against her folds, so close. âWhat was next on your plan then?â
His vibrant blue eyes moved from her violet eyes to her lips before moistening his own with his tongue. âToâŠto taste you. I need to know what you taste like.â Â
Keeping the blade semi embedded Aurora leaned forward closing the last inch granting Leonardo what he craved, she in turn savoring him. The tea and his scent invaded her senses as she opened her mouth entering Leonardoâs with her tongue swiping over his finding it just as eager.
Then she heard it, his rumble the deep vibrating growl that emanated deep within his chest pouring out and into her mouth. Over and over their mouths engaged and reengaged in a desperate battle, breathless and aggressive feeding off each otherâs growing excitement. Leo made no attempt for the weapon, but his hands moved to her naked waist pushing her down coating his pants with her arousal gaining just enough friction he yearned for.
Aurora whimpered into his mouth, what was she doing? What the fuck was she doing? Her body was moving on its own but she didnât want it to stop. Her hand moved between them fumbling for the belt buckle of his pants making quick work of them. Her deft fingers unbuttoned the top of his pants and drew the metal teeth of his zipper down keeping it free is the sensitive flesh below.
It didnât wait for an invitation and sprung free as itâs clothe prison was peeled away. She could smell him now, the salty musk of his precum that was smeared over the spongy head of his freed cock. Her fingers encompassed the remarkable girth and the tip of her thumb dipped into the moister swirling it under the head making the terrapin gasp.
Breaking their kiss Aurora sunk the tip of the blade in further and Leo growled in reaction. âTell me what you really came here for Fearless?â rising up Aurora hovered over his cock positioning the long throbbing flesh just below her. âDid you come all this way to fuck me, to have me first, to drench me in your scent?â Her tongue came out and painted a warm wet stripe up his cheek stopping at his ear. âDo you want to remember how it felt when you poured all that you were up into my womb, marking me inside and outâŠâ lowering her body she pressed the weeping helm just into the wet heat of her cunt. âI want to feel the stretch of you filling me with this enormous cock.â Aurora could feel the tears begin to form in the corner of her eyes. It had been years since she had him like this. She could feel the heat of him, the throbbing flesh in her grasp. It had been too long. But she had to remember this wasnât her Leo. Â
âI want to be inside you. I want it so bad.â Leonardo growled pulling her down on him, but the strength of her thighs held up against his.
âSay please LeonardoâŠ..donât be fucking rudeâŠ.â She could feel him shaking with need desperate for a taste of what his body was apparently so starved for.
His sudden shift made Aurora pull the blade back before it severed his carotid as his warm mouth enclosed around her throat kissing and sucking gently. Leisurely his hands abandoned her hips and traced up her naked back making her arch at the wondrous feather light sensation. âPlease.â He finally whispered through heavy exhales into the moister he left behind. Â
The sensation of him splitting her open on the down slide was overwhelming, reminding Aurora that it had been years since she had taken any of them. Thankfully there was no pain but a twinge of discomfort accompanied with the delicious stretch of being so splendidly filled. Leoâs ascending fingers finally reached the top of her shoulders and clamped down assisting the final few inches to climb home.
When he was seated fully inside her body, the terrapin let out a throaty groan pressing his beak to crook of her throat. One hand left her shoulder and wrapped protectively around her waist keeping her securely sheathed. Besides the elevated breathing the mutant made no noises but refused to let her rise to ease the pressure building.
Suddenly his hips rocked up eliminating any space that had remained between them. His mouth opened taking in a section of her neck letting his tongue run over the heated flesh. Then she felt his cock expand and his grip loosen allowing her to lift up beginning the unhurried pace.
Rolling her hips rotating them just enough to make slow circles finally made the hulking turtle below her voice his appreciation.
âFu..ckâŠmmhmmâŠfaster..â
âNo.â she growled softly into his ear while running the cool edge of the blade still in her possession across the green scales of his throat. âYou came into my room uninvited with a weapon and intentions of ending my life, we do this my way or I send you back to the lab missing a few limbs.â
Leoâs griped shifted back to her hips while he tilted his own to change the angle. When she gasped and shuttered at the new friction his mouth opened into a toothy grin. âYou wonât hurt me. You said it yourself you love me.â
Leaning down to his neck Aurora began to cover his lustrous green skin with open mouth kisses rising until just the tip of him remained in her body. When she got the weeping wound she had inflicted her mouth enclosed around the hole clearing the tepid crimson from his flesh. She felt the vibrations through her lips as his voiced his pleasure tilting his head to the side to give her better access.
With a pop her mouth released his throat and she began gradually lowering herself back down on his titanium length.  âYou nearly killed me a few months ago while Raphael watched on. I spend nearly a month in the infirmary because of you, one of the most important people in my life. That was a sobering reminder you are not my Leonardo, my kind, gentle, honorable leaderâŠmy lover. You may have his ridiculously muscled body, his unmatched skill but your soul isnât there. There is something in your body keeping you under Bishopsâ thumb, keeping the real you from surfacing. The real Leo would rather be dead then be in the service of that mad man and I am now 100% behind that. So you better be on your best behavior.â
No form of protest came from the turtle, but his mouth turned up into a smug grin before leaning forward to capture Auroraâs lips. The demand behind the kiss was insistent as his tongue pushed into her mouth and his hold around her waist began to urge her to move.
She could feel him throb with each beat of his heart; every inch of her core was stretched to its limit. That was how big Leonardo really was and he wasnât even the largest of his brothers. Raphael held that title, his length was roughly the same as Leoâs but to take Raphael was always a slow start. Luckily he was a patient man.
She began again, taking her time with each rise and fall on his engorged length. Up and down tilting her hips back so the tip of him could hit just the right spot. Every cell in her body started to ignite with awareness of the long lost sensation of being taken by a mutant turtle. Each time Aurora sheathed herself on every inch of Leo the head of his cock pressed to the back of her channel eager to flood it with his climax.
The pace was kept slow. Aurora didnât want this to end too quickly; it had been far too long since she had experienced any of their bodies like this. And she had forgotten how intense being intimate with them was. Leoâs grip on her was tight, keeping her as close to him as possible. His mouth ran wild over her, dragging his wet tongue over her throat to her clavicle and down to the top of her breasts. His hands moved up from her hips to her waist urging her back so the warmth of his mouth could find the dark tissue of her nipples. He sucked at each of the heavy globes with enthusiasm, circling each peak with his tongue until it hardened to a stiff nub. Trying her best to stay on guard as the blue terrapin began to worship her chest Aurora found the new angle and sensation of his feasting too distracting and released the pressure of the blade off his neck.
âLeoâŠfu..uckâŠ..â it was impossible to refrain from praising him, he was a man of focus. When he set his sights on a goal Leonardo did all he could to complete it to perfection and the act of lovemaking was no different.
Both hands fell to his broad shoulders and started to roll her hips faster fighting at the coiling pressure of her climax as it started to chase her down. Harder she fell down on him spearing herself over and over until the fire in her belly erupted in a blinding rush of endorphins.
Leo must have sensed her at the end of her rope and bit down on the puckered flesh of her nipple sucking it into his mouth. His right hand left her side and lowered between them slipping a single digit into her heat finding the soft pearl and began rubbing the flesh in soft circles.
There were no words to express the feeling that washed over her senses. The feeling of dying and being brought back to life was the best way to describe it. Her body arched, tensing up and Aurora let her head fall back allowing his name fill the room in blissful cries of ecstasy.
âThatâs so pretty.â He growled breathlessly rolling his hips up harder into her body.
As her body ran through her climax Leo took over the rhythm fucking her though her high right into the slow climb to the next one. The blade held loosely in her hand Leo took advantage of her momentary distraction and stole the weapon from her slack grasp.
She barely registered the loss of the upper hand as he increased the tempo of his hips and kept the steady strike of that one spot sending her higher and higher prolonging her peak. Even after all these years his body knew how to bring her the utmost pleasure, or was it Leonardo himself remembering.
As the crest finally began to ebb bringing her back to her mutant partner Auroraâs mind finally registered she was no longer in control of the knife. His three fingers held the handle firmly and ran the sharp tip over the scar he had left months ago and his eyes flashed dangerously.
âDo it.â She wouldnât be scared of him, if this was how she went it was one hell of a way to go; stuffed full of Leonardo still buzzing from her orgasm.
Leo chuckled softly rolling forward until Aurora was on her back and he was hovering over her pressing her thighs open wide with the hard plain of his pelvis. His head tilted reaching for her chin making sure she was looking at him. He thrust abruptly sinking to the hilt before pulling almost all the way free. âI donât think I will.â With the flick of his wrist the knife flew from his hand and embedded into the wood of her closed door. âIâm not done with you yet.â
Grabbing her right thigh Leo hoisted her calve up over his shoulder and rocked smoothly forward sinking into her tight heat with great care. The plunging girth of the rooted flesh was overwhelming dragging splendidly within her walls igniting the fire in her belly. Rapidity it allowed her rising climax to feed on her view above her. The view of Leonardo, the dominate male taking claim to what was once his, it made her core clench and ache.
As he started to drive forward gently Aurora could see the softness return to his gaze like her Leonardo. Like it was six years ago and he were still hers. She knew she shouldnât get her hopes up as long as that thing still roamed his body Leo would never be hers. But in this moment she allowed herself to dream.
Then out of nowhere Leoâs voice dropped an octave, dark and needy, âAuroraâŠtell me you love me.â The look on his face was serious but his eyes gave the mutant away, the blue orbs were pleading like he genuinely needed to hear the words. His grip tightened on her hips and he began to pound into her faster chasing after his own climax. âPlease.â
Ripping her leg from his grip Aurora rolled them claiming the high ground once again keeping with his hurried pace as she resumed her ride. She allowed him to recover pulling him back up into a sitting position. The terrapin wrapped his arm back around her waist and set his gaze back on her flushed face.
âW-why? Why should I g..ive you that? Mmm âŠfuck!â
âHumor meâŠ.please.â
What could it hurt? She did love Leo, just not this version of him.
Then she could feel him pulse and expand, he was about to topple over into oblivion. Eyes widened and Aurora arched as the extra width made her peak hit without warning. The heat of it raced through her body like a box of fireworks going off under her skin. Her hands shot to his face cupping his sharp jaw line and she leaned back into her spine curling climax. With what little cognitive ability she had left she gave him what he wanted. âI love you.â
It consumed her quickly eating up all of her strength racking her body with small but powerful tremors. She blacked out for a moment but Leonardo kept her from falling, like he had always done, keeping her safe when she was most vulnerable.
âRora.â It was faint but the nickname only the brothers were allowed to call her escaped Leoâs lips.
It was then she felt Leo tense and grip her hips sinking as deep as he could reach as the turtle spilled his molten seed deep into her willing body. Each brutal drive up erupted ropes of ejaculate coating her with his scent filling Aurora until it her body could take no more. With one final drive Leo pulled Aurora down on his cock locking them in place making sure every drop of his cum reached its destination, marking her. His.
They clung to each other with all their remaining strength riding out their euphoria until Aurora kissed him, kissed him with such ferocity it stole the final breath from their lungs.
With the need to breath staggering they finally pulled apart.
As his blurred vision became clear Leo could see tears flowing freely down her cheeks, and the sight startled the leader momentarily. His hands reached to her face brushing the moister with his thumbs, âDid I hurt you?â Â
âNo, not in this moment at least.â Aurora could feel her heart thundering below her chest as she stared at the terrapin. But this wasnât her Leo and if she didnât do something now their location would be comprised so she did what she had to do to keep everyone here safe.
Her hands shot out in concession pressing into the soft tissue of his body. Three points, deep into the muscle making Leonardo gasp in shock. His blue eyes widened in surprise and his lips thin into an angry frown.
âI canât have you leave here conscious, heâll take us all and kill Casey, April and I. Everything will be lost.â
Leoâs hand shot out and his fingers tips dug into her arm sluggishly. His eye lids drooped and his mouth opened as his muscles gave up their tension. With his final conscious thought Leoâs lips formed his last thought before he succumbed to the darkness, âI would never âŠâŠâŠ.let him hurt âŠ.you.â
As his body went slack Aurora wiped away her tears and shuttered as he slipped from her body. The loss of his warmth tore through her like a hurricane sinking her further into despair. She took a moment to run her hands under his shirt tracing her fingers along the scarred lines of his plastron. She had to remind herself, he was warm, he was alive and he was healthy.
With a heavy sigh she dismounted and wiped him clean before securing his pants. Gathering her com Aurora pressed the button making a connection to the person on the other end.
âCasey, I need you to come to my room. We need to get him out of here before he wakes up.â
âIâm on my way.â
#tmnt#tmnt leonardo#tmnt raphael#tmnt donatello#tmnt michelangelo#tmnt fandom#tmnt fanfiction#tmnt fic#TMNT TMNT fanfiction#the forgotten#part four
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the contents of the heart matter.
A point made clear in Todayâs reading of the Scriptures with chapter 9 of the book of Matthew that illuminates our need of grace:
[Forgiveness and Healing]
Jesus got into the boat and returned to what was considered his hometown, Capernaum. Just then some people brought a paraplegic man to him, lying on a sleeping mat. When Jesus perceived the strong faith within their hearts, he said to the paralyzed man, âMy son, be encouraged, for your sins have been forgiven.â
These words prompted some of the religious scholars who were present to think, âWhy, thatâs nothing but blasphemy!â
Jesus supernaturally perceived their thoughts, and said to them, âWhy do you carry such evil in your hearts? Which is easier to say, âYour sins are forgiven,â or, âStand up and walk!â? But now, to convince you that the Son of Man has been given authority to forgive sins, I say to this man, âStand up, pick up your mat, and walk home.ââ Immediately the man sprang to his feet and left for home.
When the crowds witnessed this miracle, they were awestruck. They shouted praises to God because he had given such authority to human beings.
[Jesus Calls Matthew to Follow Him]
As Jesus left Capernaum he came upon a tax-collecting station, where a traitorous Jew was busy at his work, collecting taxes for the Romans. His name was Matthew. âCome, follow me,â Jesus said to him. Immediately Matthew jumped up and began to follow Jesus.
Later, Jesus went to Matthewâs home to share a meal with him. Many other tax collectors and outcasts of society were invited to eat with Jesus and his disciples.
When those known as the Pharisees saw what was happening, they were indignant, and they kept asking Jesusâ disciples, âWhy would your Master dine with such lowlifes?â
When Jesus overheard this, he spoke up and said, âHealthy people donât need to see a doctor, but the sick will go for treatment.â Then he added, âNow you should go and study the meaning of the verse:
I want you to show mercy, not just offer me a sacrifice.
For I have come to invite the outcasts of society and sinners, not those who think they are already on the right path.â
[Jesus Brings a New Reality]
The disciples of John the Baptizer approached Jesus with this question: âWhy is it that we and the Pharisees fast regularly, but not your disciples?â
Jesus replied, âHow can the sons of the bridal chamber grieve when the Bridegroom is next to them? But the days of fasting will come when the Bridegroom is taken away from them. And who would mend worn-out clothing with new fabric? When the new cloth shrinks it will rip, making the hole worse than before. And who would pour fresh, new wine into an old wineskin? Eventually the wine will ferment and make the wineskin burst, losing everythingâthe wine is spilled and the wineskin ruined. Instead, new wine is always poured into a new wineskin so that both are preserved.â
The Book of Matthew, Chapter 9:1-17 (The Passion Translation)
A chapter of the New Testament that is paired with chapter 16 of the ancient writing of Ezekiel in which is read a story of God âbetrothingïżœïżœ Israel and her unfaithfulness that followed, yet with a promise of atonement and a coming New Covenant which was revealed in the Son.
The closing lines of Ezekiel 16:
Iâll firmly establish my covenant with you and youâll know that I am God. Youâll remember your past life and face the shame of it, but when I make atonement for you, make everything right after all youâve done, it will leave you speechless.ââ Decree of God, the Master.
The Book of Ezekiel, Chapter 16:62-63 (The Message)
to be accompanied by inspiration from Psalm 8 and Proverbs 8 for October 8 of â19
[Psalm 8]
Godâs Splendor
For the Pure and Shining One
Set to the melody of âFor the Feast of Harvest,â by King David
Lord, your name is so great and powerful!
People everywhere see your splendor.
Your glorious majesty streams from the heavens,
filling the earth with the fame of your name!
You have built a stronghold by the songs of babies.
Strength rises up with the chorus of singing children.
This kind of praise has the power to shut Satanâs mouth.
Childlike worship will silence
the madness of those who oppose you.
Look at the splendor of your skies,
your creative genius glowing in the heavens.
When I gaze at your moon and your stars,
mounted like jewels in their settings,
I know you are the fascinating artist who fashioned it all!
But when I look up and see
such wonder and workmanship above,
I have to ask you this question:
Compared to all this cosmic glory,
why would you bother with puny, mortal man
or be infatuated with Adamâs sons?
Yet what honor you have given to men,
created only a little lower than Elohim,
crowned like kings and queens with glory and magnificence.
You have delegated to them
mastery over all you have made,
making everything subservient to their authority,
placing earth itself under the feet of your image-bearers.
All the created order and every living thing
of the earth, sky, and seaâ
the wildest beasts and all the sea creaturesâ
everything is in submission to Adamâs sons.
Lord, your name is so great and powerful.
People everywhere see your majesty!
What glory streams from the heavens,
filling the earth with the fame of your name!
The Book of Psalms, Poem 8 (The Passion Translation)
[Proverbs 8]
Canât you hear the voice of Wisdom?
From the top of the mountains of influence
she speaks into the gateways of the glorious city.
At the place where pathways merge,
at the entrance of every portal,
there she stands, ready to impart understanding,
shouting aloud to all who enter,
preaching her sermon to those who will listen.
âIâm calling to you, sons of Adam,
yes, and to you daughters as well.
Listen to me and you will be prudent and wise.
For even the foolish and feeble can receive an understanding heart
that will change their inner being.
The meaning of my words will release within you revelation
for you to reign in life.
My lyrics will empower you to live by what is right.
For everything I say is unquestionably true,
and I refuse to endure the lies of lawlessnessâ
my words will never lead you astray.
All the declarations of my mouth can be trusted;
they contain no twisted logic or perversion of the truth.
All my words are clear and straightforward to everyone
who possesses spiritual understanding.
If you have an open mind, you will receive revelation-knowledge.
My wise correction is more valuable than silver or gold.
The finest gold is nothing compared to the revelation-knowledge
I can impart.â
Wisdom is so priceless that it exceeds the value of any jewel.
Nothing you could wish for can equal her.
âFor I am Wisdom, and I am shrewd and intelligent.
I have at my disposal living-understanding
to devise a plan for your life.
Wisdom pours into you
when you begin to hate every form of evil in your life,
for thatâs what worship and fearing God is all about.
Then you will discover
that your pompous pride and perverse speech
are the very ways of wickedness that I hate!â
[The Power of Wisdom]
âYou will find true success when you find me,
for I have insight into wise plans that are designed just for you.
I hold in my hands living-understanding, courage, and strength.
I empower kings to reign and rulers to make laws that are just.
I empower princes to rise and take dominion,
and generous ones to govern the earth.
I will show my love to those who passionately love me.
For they will search and search continually until they find me.
Unending wealth and glory
come to those who discover where I dwell.
The riches of righteousness and a long, satisfying life
will be given to them.
What I impart has greater worth than gold and treasure,
and the increase I bring benefits more than a windfall of income.
I lead you into the ways of righteousness
to discover the paths of true justice.
Those who love me gain great wealth and a glorious inheritance,
and I will fill their lives with treasures.
[Wisdom in the Beginning]
âIn the beginning I was there,
for God possessed me even before he created the universe.
From eternity past I was set in place,
before the world began.
I was anointed from the beginning.
Before the oceans depths were poured out,
and before there were any glorious fountains
overflowing with water,
I was there, dancing!
Even before one mountain had been sculpted
or one hill raised up,
I was already there, dancing!
When he created the earth, the fields,
even the first atom of dust,
I was already there.
When he hung the tapestry of the heavens
and stretched out the horizon of the earth,
when the clouds and skies were set in place
and the subterranean fountains began to flow strong,
I was already there.
when he set in place the pillars of the earth
and spoke the decrees of the seas,
commanding the waves
so that they wouldnât overstep their boundaries,
I was there, close to the Creatorâs side as his master artist.
Daily he was filled with delight in me
as I playfully rejoiced before him.
I laughed and played,
so happy with what he had made,
while finding my delight in the children of men.
[Wisdom Worth Waiting For]
âSo listen, my sons and daughters, to everything I tell you,
for nothing will bring you more joy than following my ways.
Listen to my counsel,
for my instruction will enlighten you.
Youâll be wise not to ignore it.
If you wait at wisdomâs doorway,
longing to hear a word for every day,
joy will break forth within you as you listen for what Iâll say.
For the fountain of life pours into you every time that you find me,
and this is the secret of growing in the delight
and the favor of the Lord.
But those who stumble and miss me will be sorry they did!
For ignoring what I have to say will bring harm to your own soul.
Those who hate me are simply flirting with death!â
The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 8 (The Passion Translation)
my personal reading of the Scriptures for October 8, the 16th day of Autumn and day 281 of the year:
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9 Movie Scenes So Flat-Out Crazy Theyâll Fill You With Joy
Every year, Hollywood throws a developing nationâs GDP at illustrious directors like Michael Bay and That Guy Michael Bay Hired To Direct The TMNT Movies so they can film increasingly implausible action scenes. And every year, the results still canât hold a candle to what some (usually foreign, always insane) directors can achieve with less money than The Rock spends oiling his biceps.
So buckle up for some of the balls-out craziest action movies you havenât heard of, and be warned: Some of these scenes contain graphic violence, and all contain the power to make you feel bad about your own physical fitness.
9
The Best Movie Where A Horse Slides Under A Truck, So Far
Alluda Majaka! is an Indian sex comedy that just so happens to include a chase scene more badass and outrageous than all Fast & Furious movies combined. The movieâs hero is on his way to be executed, after being wrongfully accused of murder, when the police car heâs in drives past the wedding of his lady friend. He immediately freaks the fuck out and escapes, using only the power of fisticuffs and an uncanny ability to whip sticks at cars and send them soaring through the air.
Devi Films Unbeknownst to most, the laws of physics simply do not apply in India.
Our hero then escapes on horseback, but â oh no, thereâs a truck in the way! This leads to, well, this:
Devi Films
Yup, he slides underneath the truck with his horse, the likeliest explanation being that theyâre in The Matrix and that horse is the Chosen One. The scene doesnât end there â the protagonist then takes the cops on a chase, which sees the horse taking the bus.
And finally, everything culminates in obligatory inexplicable explosions.
And this is all so just he can bust up a wedding he noticed as they passed by, like some kind of roided-out version of The Graduate.
8
A Giant Laser Peach Beats Up The Devilâs Warriors
The Taiwanese fantasy film Magic Of Spell is about a young Chinese villager, Peach Boy, battling an evil wizard. How do we know heâs evil? For starters, he lives in a place called âDevil Palace,â and literally bathes in blood â though to be fair, that might just be how the plumbing works in all of the âDevilâ-brand properties.
So, what kind of powers does Peach Boy use in his fight against the Devil? Well, at one point he conjures a glowing peach that floats out of a stone well, because stonefruit magic is unknowable and mysterious.
Some of the Devilâs minions foolishly try to take on the peach, but they quickly regret it.
Since a giant peach ramming into dozens of people would start to get a little tedious, the peach is also outfitted with a motherfucking laser blaster. If Roald Dahl got a job writing for Battlestar Galactica, this is probably the kind of insanity weâd see.
7
Hereâs The Horny Indian Terminator Vs. An Army Of Cops
Enthiran is an Indian sci-fi flick about the worldâs first lifelike android, Chitti, who looks just like a human being whoâs constantly wearing sunglasses. Presumably, his creators couldnât get the eyes right and said âfuck it, heâll be one of those douches.â
Unfortunately, like most robots, politicians, and people you went to high school with, he turns evil. After kidnapping the woman he wants to impregnate with his little cyber-babies (yep), heâs chased by an army of cops, which he thwarts by stealing all of their guns.
Chitti then creates thousands of copies of himself, and they all join together into a single giant robot.
Of course, Chitti emerges victorious. So, hopefully, all of this madness is in favor of some kind of elaborate, genius-level master plan, right?
6
A Blind Swordsman Fights Above An Electrified Hot Tub
In Blind Fury, Rutger Hauer of Blade Runner fame plays a Vietnam vet whoâs also a trained Samurai. Oh, and heâs blind. Itâs basically a cross between First Blood, a Kurosawa movie, and ⊠uh, Ray? In the movieâs climax, Hauer has to fight a guy in a swank mountaintop penthouse â but then, one of the tanning lights falls in a hot tub, which is now not only electrified but also presumably full of STDs.
Using his blind Samurai war-vet expertise, Hauer manages to turn the electrified pool to his advantage in the inevitable way:
But thereâs another henchman there â so, naturally, Hauer throws him off a mountain.
This reinforces the important lesson that if you have a house on a mountain, you should probably spring for the double-glazed glass, at least for the pane nearest to the thousand-foot drop.
5
Attack Of The Deranged Beach Ball-Shaped Creature
Drunken Wu Tang is one of many batshit-crazy martial-arts films from the â80s, but what sets it apart from others is the filmâs true breakout star: the Watermelon Monster. Or the Banana Monster, as the subtitled version calls it, although neither of those names really do it justice. Itâs more like a fanged cannonball with red lips and glowing eyes, like if Hell had access to papier mache.
In the movie, the monster is a deadly temple guard. Not only does it have the ability to fly through the air and headbutt you like a common soccer hooligan, but itâs also inexplicably equipped with cables that shoot out of its body and attach themselves to your nipple region.
They can also be used like grappling hooks, for more smacking-into-people action.
No one even beats the monster in the movie â they just run the hell away, leaving the door open for a Watermelon Monster sequel, and Lord willing, the Watermelon Monster Cinematic Universe.
4
A Movie Thatâs Basically The Raid With Children
The Thai action movie Power Kids, AKA Force of Five, AKA Child Services Drops The Ball: The Movie, finds a group of scrappy kids taking on a building full of terrorists. At the very least it shows us all how badass Home Alone would have been if Macaulay Culkin got off his ass and learned some martial arts instead of merely scrounging paint cans and Micro Machines.
In Power Kids, the titular kids of power have to break into a hospital thatâs been taken over by terrorists. Why? Because their friend is a patient there, and this whole Die Hard situation is really messing with the heart transplant he needs. So naturally, the kids beat the shit out of the terrorists:
Yes, thatâs one of the kids jumping off the bad guyâs back, grabbing a fluorescent lightbulb from the ceiling, and using it to hit him on the way down. That has to be the most satisfying use of those things ever, not just in movies. In the end, two of the kids double-team the poor villain, and then somersault-kick him out the goddamn window.
3
A Rogue Cop Takes Down A Car Full Of Thugs Using Only A Lamppost
Weâve talked before about Singham, the Indian cop flick that makes the Naked Gun franchise look like sober police dramas. In one particularly batshit scene, rogue cop Bajirao Singham confronts a gang of thugs, who you can tell are up to no good because theyâre hanging out in a Jeep down by the docks (a classic tell-tale sign of abject delinquency).
Apparently, Officer Singhamâs hatred for criminals is only rivaled by his disrespect for public property. When he needs a weapon, instead of using, say, his weapon, Singham just strongarms a goddamn lamppost out of the boardwalk.
Then Singham charges after the bad guys like a bat out of hell ⊠whoâs carrying a lamppost. He smashes the lamp in one guyâs face, which also sends him flying into a second lamppost for good measure. Seriously, did this movie get a kickback from the lamppost industry for sexing up their boring-ass product?
He then shoves the lamp into the steering wheel, sending the car flying in such a way that it doesnât crush any of the many nearby innocent civilians.
Of course, this isnât exactly a movie thatâs grounded in reality. For instance, a slap from Singham wouldnât be out of place in Toontown:
2
Attack Of The Ass-Kicking Magical Pigeons
Martial artist Cynthia Rothrock starred in 1990âs Prince Of The Sun, in which sheâs protecting a small Buddhist boy whoâs magic or whatever. Whatâs important is that this leads to 90 minutes of punching and kicking bad guys who are dressed like Vanilla Iceâs accountant.
After a couple of these beige-clad bad guys break into her apartment trying to steal the kid, the fight eventually spills out onto the nearby playground. Rather than just sit idly by, the little boy uses his powers.
And how do these powers manifest? Laser beams? Lightning bolts? Nope, he magically commands a flock of pigeons to attack the goons â which retroactively makes one wonder if that homeless lady was secretly using black magic at the end of Home Alone 2.
With pigeons biting their faces (among other body parts), this leaves those damn khaki-wearing thugs wide open to getting their asses kicked.
By the end of the movie, the kid uses psychedelic magic to banish the villain to a mystical corpse-ridden lake, because once you cross the Rubicon of magic pigeon attacks, your plot can go anywhere.
1
Riki-Oh, The Bloodiest Damn Movie Ever Made
WARNING: Might wanna skip this entry if youâre planning to eat soon. Or, like, at all.
The insanely gory 1991 dystopian prison movie Riki-Oh: The Story Of Ricky has a number of scenes that will test the very limits of your mental steel. In just one fight scene, we both see Ricky punch a guyâs eye out of his skull âŠ
⊠and his opponent trying to strangle Ricky with his own intestines.
So, itâs only fitting that the final battle would be even wackier and more gore-soaked, as Ricky faces off against the evil jailhouse warden. Since having a ripped martial artist face-off against a douchey bureaucrat wouldnât meet those standards, the filmmakers wisely decided to have the warden transform into a slobbering ogre.
Predictably, the hero of this story eventually manages to best the warden. Not so predictably, Riki does so by tossing him into a conveniently placed meat grinder.
And cementing the fact that this movie will never be shown at any barbecues, this happens:
The movie ends with Ricky tossing aside the wardenâs severed head like a beach ball, and literally punching down a massive jailhouse wall, leading the audience to wonder why he didnât do such in the first five minutes of the movie.
You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter, or check out his podcast Rewatchability.
Itâs Happiness Week here at Cracked, so make sure to check back every day for content thatâll grant you respite from a hard day. And donât worry, if you missed a day, you can check out everything weâve done here.
For more films you should probably go and watch immediately, check out The 5 Most Mind-Blowing Moments From Indian Action Movies and The 5 Most Ridiculous Martial Arts Movies Ever.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out Why Action Movies Are Musicals For Dudes, and other videos you wonât see on the site!
Follow us on Facebook, and weâll follow you everywhere.
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The Short, Scandalous Life of Austriaâs Most Tortured Artist
Itâs seldom that an artist receives a first solo museum show decades after death. But then again, few artists have the haunting magnetism and drama of Richard Gerstl, whose rarely exhibited work is currently on view at Neue Galerie in New York City.
A lesser-known contemporary of Gustav Klimt and Egon Schiele, Gerstl was a bona fide rebel whose short life ended tragically in suicide. He was a man at odds with Austriaâs fin-de-siĂšcle society, rejecting anything that smacked of tradition or discipline. For Gerstl, even Klimtâs controversial Vienna Secession movementâwhich sought to break the mould and move away from Austrian conservatism in the artsâwas too haughty and bourgeois. (He refused any association with the group, and once declined participating in a show alongside Klimt.) Â
Some might argue that Gerstlâs proto-Expressionist style evolved in diametric opposition to his peers, but itâs not quite that simple. His amalgamated aesthetic was born out of a commitment to experimentation and irresolution.
The artistâs earliest self-portrait, Semi-Nude Self-Portrait (1902-1904), suggests the divergent influences that surfaced in his work. He indexes the diamond torsos of Greek Archaic and Egyptian sculpture, ordering his painting with rational proportions and anatomical perfection, but renders himself androgynous and flat. The young Gerstl is portrayed against an aquamarine background, with a bright halo around his head.
Is it a nod to Byzantine mosaics depicting Christ and Lazarus? And does this imply that Gerstl sees himself as a savior? Not necessarily. The halo also highlights Gerstlâs buzz cutâa conspicuously anachronistic hairstyle that was associated in his time with psychiatric patients. Mad or divine? Gerstlâs painting evokes the tortured genius trope of our greatest artistic masters.
And like so many great masters, Gerstl has a traumatic life story, one that culminated in a torrid love affair with Mathilde, the wife of his close friend and famous composer Arnold Schönberg, in 1908, and the artist ultimately taking his own life. After being caught in flagrante, the young painter slumped back home, destroyed his papers, tied a rope around his neck, and plunged a knife into his heart.
Itâs not like unstable men were a rare find in Vienna, however. After all, this era contained a number of tortured eccentrics who were well-versed in Sigmund Freudâs seminal psychological tomes. Schiele comes to mind: a man so driven by his erotic inclinations that the small Austro-Hungarian village of Krumau (now part of the Czech Republic) literally ran him out of town for painting undressed, nubile teens. Yet Schieleâs scandals are mere postscript compared to Gerstlâs provocations.
A young virtuoso, Gerstl chafed under the strict conservative tutelage of Christian Griepenkerl at the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna. When Gerstl left the academy in 1901, he went without formal instruction for three years. That isolation magnified his dueling traits of narcissistic self-assuredness and shy insecurity. Years later, he would completely alienate himself from Viennese society by refusing to participate in the honorary procession of Emperor Franz Joseph I of Austria.
Unsurprisingly, Gerstl was intensely lonely, and his solitude took a toll on the artistâs work. The most unsettling example is Gerstlâs Full-Length Self-Portrait, Laughing (1904). Undone by negative comments from a viewer who visited his studio, the artist tore into his self-portrait, defacing it with blue paint and cutting the canvas into two unequal halves.
What remains is an awkward, tragically duplicitous image of the artist. Gerstl looks handsome in his three-piece suit and nonchalant pose, but his face betrays him. There is something forced about his smile and an uneasy quality in his eyes. The dark void behind Gerstl reverberates with this looming sense of dread; a depressive cloud preparing to swallow him whole.
Gerstlâs destructive tendencies became a hallmark of his expressive style. The ripping of paintings would later evolve into the scarring of the canvasesâ surfaces, the faint trace of a brush stem interrupting his impasto layering of pigments. He was known as a full-blooded painter, often foregoing any sketches or planning. And without much official instruction, he looked to the work of painters outside of Vienna.
He became enamored with a more international style of painting, including the French Pointillism of Georges Seurat and the often gloomy compositions of artists like Edvard Munch and Vincent van Gogh.
The influence of Seurat is palpable in Gerstlâs various portraits from 1906. Portrait of the Artistâs Father, Emil (1906) is unabashedly French-inspired. The artist positions his father directly in the sun, creating a makeshift spotlight. The extreme contrast between light and shadow frees Gerstl to experiment with his pigments. Here, his eye for color truly shines, as he mixes deep yellows, reds, and blues to create a strikingly sullen image of his elderly father.
Mathilde Schönberg, however, was Gerstlâs most infamous muse. After Gerstlâs alienation from Viennaâs artistic community, he found a quick friend in Arnold Schönberg, whose experimentations in atonal music equally made him an avant-garde outcast. Schönberg hired Gerstl to teach Mathilde how to paint, hoping she could earn the couple some extra money through commissions. Despite Gerstlâs infatuation with Mathilde, he and Arnold maintained a healthy and productive friendshipâeach inspired the otherâs art form.
With the Schönbergs, Gerstl explored the rougher effects of his paintbrush. Mathilde Schönberg (1907) is one of the artistâs best-known works. The composition is hastily painted, eschewing any sense of depth or proportion. Mathilde vibrates off the picture-plane, her solemn face and crossed hands dramatizing the withdrawn impression she apparently made on men.
Naturally, Gerstl saved his most terrifying, daring experiments for himself. He translated the freehand method of Pointillism into daunting acts of auto-aggression, contorting his face into rabid caricature. Self-Portrait, Laughing (1907) unmasks the artistâs mercurial nature that he concealed in earlier work. Here, too, laughter signifies annihilation. The artist fades into smudges, with his shoulders barely receiving any definition.
Oddly enough, the artistâs final self-portrait retreats from this abstract style. Nude Self-Portrait with Palette (1908) looks like Viennaâs reaction to Pablo Picassoâs âBlue Period.â Gerstlâs figure is sharp, defined, and geometric. The painting is washed in blue huesâpossibly a reference to his earliest self-portrait. Here, however, he is nude, suggesting his transition from boy to man. Gerstl has cropped the painting at the calf to emphasize and center his sex. Yet the artist looks pale, emaciated, and distant.
The artistâs final painting was a nude portrait, not of himself but of his forbidden lover, Mathilde. More so than his first portrait of her, Seated Female Nude (1908) suggests a hurried rendering of Mathildeâs likeness. Gerstl has intentionally obscured his subjectâs face, leaving her purposefully unfinished or willfully destroyed. What remains is a hazy outline of her body, drawn with a puerile emphasis on her breasts and sex.
The result is a seemingly post-coital image with a nefarious quality. The mirror behind Mathilde indicates that this dalliance took place in the artistâs studio. It was the same mirror that Gerstl would later hang himself in front of.
Dead at the age of 25, Gerstl is outlived by only 60 of his paintings. Most of these are currently on view at Neue Galerie, providing a glimpse into Gerstlâs sprint toward destruction. But while he lived, Gerstl found more in painting than many of his contemporaries could imagine, transfusing emotion into pigment.
Whereas Klimt and Schiele cage their subjects in gilded patterns and disfiguring perspectives, Gerstl is interested in freedom. He pries emotional reality from the canvas above all else, allowing intimate portraits to vibrate with instability, conflict, and self-loathing.
âZachary Small
Gerstl, Semi-Nude Self-Portrait, 1902-04. Courtesy of the Leopold Museum, Vienna.
Gerstl, Self-Portrait, Laughing.
Itâs seldom that an artist receives a first solo museum show decades after death. But then again, few artists have the haunting magnetism and drama of Richard Gerstl, whose rarely exhibited work is currently on view at Neue Galerie in New York City.
A lesser-known contemporary of Gustav Klimt and Egon Schiele, Gerstl was a bona fide rebel whose short life ended tragically in suicide. He was a man at odds with Austriaâs fin-de-siĂšcle society, rejecting anything that smacked of tradition or discipline. For Gerstl, even Klimtâs controversial Vienna Secession movementâwhich sought to break the mould and move away from Austrian conservatism in the artsâwas too haughty and bourgeois. (He refused any association with the group, and once declined participating in a show alongside Klimt.) Â
Some might argue that Gerstlâs proto-Expressionist style evolved in diametric opposition to his peers, but itâs not quite that simple. His amalgamated aesthetic was born out of a commitment to experimentation and irresolution.
The artistâs earliest self-portrait, Semi-Nude Self-Portrait (1902-1904), suggests the divergent influences that surfaced in his work. He indexes the diamond torsos of Greek Archaic and Egyptian sculpture, ordering his painting with rational proportions and anatomical perfection, but renders himself androgynous and flat. The young Gerstl is portrayed against an aquamarine background, with a bright halo around his head.
Is it a nod to Byzantine mosaics depicting Christ and Lazarus? And does this imply that Gerstl sees himself as a savior? Not necessarily. The halo also highlights Gerstlâs buzz cutâa conspicuously anachronistic hairstyle that was associated in his time with psychiatric patients. Mad or divine? Gerstlâs painting evokes the tortured genius trope of our greatest artistic masters.
And like so many great masters, Gerstl has a traumatic life story, one that culminated in a torrid love affair with Mathilde, the wife of his close friend and famous composer Arnold Schönberg, in 1908, and the artist ultimately taking his own life. After being caught in flagrante, the young painter slumped back home, destroyed his papers, tied a rope around his neck, and plunged a knife into his heart.
Itâs not like unstable men were a rare find in Vienna, however. After all, this era contained a number of tortured eccentrics who were well-versed in Sigmund Freudâs seminal psychological tomes. Schiele comes to mind: a man so driven by his erotic inclinations that the small Austro-Hungarian village of Krumau (now part of the Czech Republic) literally ran him out of town for painting undressed, nubile teens. Yet Schieleâs scandals are mere postscript compared to Gerstlâs provocations.
A young virtuoso, Gerstl chafed under the strict conservative tutelage of Christian Griepenkerl at the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna. When Gerstl left the academy in 1901, he went without formal instruction for three years. That isolation magnified his dueling traits of narcissistic self-assuredness and shy insecurity. Years later, he would completely alienate himself from Viennese society by refusing to participate in the honorary procession of Emperor Franz Joseph I of Austria.
Unsurprisingly, Gerstl was intensely lonely, and his solitude took a toll on the artistâs work. The most unsettling example is Gerstlâs Full-Length Self-Portrait, Laughing (1904). Undone by negative comments from a viewer who visited his studio, the artist tore into his self-portrait, defacing it with blue paint and cutting the canvas into two unequal halves.
What remains is an awkward, tragically duplicitous image of the artist. Gerstl looks handsome in his three-piece suit and nonchalant pose, but his face betrays him. There is something forced about his smile and an uneasy quality in his eyes. The dark void behind Gerstl reverberates with this looming sense of dread; a depressive cloud preparing to swallow him whole.
Gerstl, Grinzing, 1906. Courtesy of Galerie St. Etienne, New York.
Gerstlâs destructive tendencies became a hallmark of his expressive style. The ripping of paintings would later evolve into the scarring of the canvasesâ surfaces, the faint trace of a brush stem interrupting his impasto layering of pigments. He was known as a full-blooded painter, often foregoing any sketches or planning. And without much official instruction, he looked to the work of painters outside of Vienna.
He became enamored with a more international style of painting, including the French Pointillism of Georges Seurat and the often gloomy compositions of artists like Edvard Munch and Vincent van Gogh.
The influence of Seurat is palpable in Gerstlâs various portraits from 1906. Portrait of the Artistâs Father, Emil (1906) is unabashedly French-inspired. The artist positions his father directly in the sun, creating a makeshift spotlight. The extreme contrast between light and shadow frees Gerstl to experiment with his pigments. Here, his eye for color truly shines, as he mixes deep yellows, reds, and blues to create a strikingly sullen image of his elderly father.
Gerstl, Portrait of a Man (Green background), 1908.
Gerstl, Mathilde Schönberg. Courtesy of Belvedere, Vienna.
Mathilde Schönberg, however, was Gerstlâs most infamous muse. After Gerstlâs alienation from Viennaâs artistic community, he found a quick friend in Arnold Schönberg, whose experimentations in atonal music equally made him an avant-garde outcast. Schönberg hired Gerstl to teach Mathilde how to paint, hoping she could earn the couple some extra money through commissions. Despite Gerstlâs infatuation with Mathilde, he and Arnold maintained a healthy and productive friendshipâeach inspired the otherâs art form.
With the Schönbergs, Gerstl explored the rougher effects of his paintbrush. Mathilde Schönberg (1907) is one of the artistâs best-known works. The composition is hastily painted, eschewing any sense of depth or proportion. Mathilde vibrates off the picture-plane, her solemn face and crossed hands dramatizing the withdrawn impression she apparently made on men.
Naturally, Gerstl saved his most terrifying, daring experiments for himself. He translated the freehand method of Pointillism into daunting acts of auto-aggression, contorting his face into rabid caricature. Self-Portrait, Laughing (1907) unmasks the artistâs mercurial nature that he concealed in earlier work. Here, too, laughter signifies annihilation. The artist fades into smudges, with his shoulders barely receiving any definition.
Oddly enough, the artistâs final self-portrait retreats from this abstract style. Nude Self-Portrait with Palette (1908) looks like Viennaâs reaction to Pablo Picassoâs âBlue Period.â Gerstlâs figure is sharp, defined, and geometric. The painting is washed in blue huesâpossibly a reference to his earliest self-portrait. Here, however, he is nude, suggesting his transition from boy to man. Gerstl has cropped the painting at the calf to emphasize and center his sex. Yet the artist looks pale, emaciated, and distant.
Gerstl, The Schönberg Family, 1908. Courtesy of MoMOK, Vienna.
The artistâs final painting was a nude portrait, not of himself but of his forbidden lover, Mathilde. More so than his first portrait of her, Seated Female Nude (1908) suggests a hurried rendering of Mathildeâs likeness. Gerstl has intentionally obscured his subjectâs face, leaving her purposefully unfinished or willfully destroyed. What remains is a hazy outline of her body, drawn with a puerile emphasis on her breasts and sex.
The result is a seemingly post-coital image with a nefarious quality. The mirror behind Mathilde indicates that this dalliance took place in the artistâs studio. It was the same mirror that Gerstl would later hang himself in front of.
Dead at the age of 25, Gerstl is outlived by only 60 of his paintings. Most of these are currently on view at Neue Galerie, providing a glimpse into Gerstlâs sprint toward destruction. But while he lived, Gerstl found more in painting than many of his contemporaries could imagine, transfusing emotion into pigment.
Whereas Klimt and Schiele cage their subjects in gilded patterns and disfiguring perspectives, Gerstl is interested in freedom. He pries emotional reality from the canvas above all else, allowing intimate portraits to vibrate with instability, conflict, and self-loathing.
âZachary Small
from Artsy News
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[13] Origins of Religion:
Explore the original religious experience of mankind at the dawn of civilization.
Entheogen: Awakening the Divine Within Manifesting the Mind: Footprints of the Shaman Ancient Egypt and The Alternative Story of Mankindâs Origins The Hidden Knowledge of the Supernatural Re-Awaken: Open Your Heart, Expand Your Mind Shamans of the Amazon The Root of All Evil: The God Delusion Ancient Knowledge The Naked Truth Before Babel: In Search of the First Language
[14] Western Religion:
The fascinating history of the three Abrahamic religions: Judaism, Christianity and Islam.
Secret Quest: The Path of the Christian Gnostics The Secret Gate of Eden Forbidden Knowledge: Lost Secrets of the Bible Banned From The Bible: Secrets Of The Apostles The Road To Armageddon Muhammad: The Legacy of a Prophet A Complete History of God Gnosis: The Untold History of the Bible
[15] Eastern Religion:
Expand your mind by also studying the entirely different religious worldviews of the East.
Inner Worlds, Outer Worlds The Life Of The Buddha The Seven Wonders of the Buddhist World Mysteries of the Cosmic OM: Ancient Vedic Science Where Science and Buddhism Meet The Yogis of Tibet Taj Mahal: Secrets To Blow Your Mind Light at the Edge of the World: Tibetan Science of the Mind Myths of Mankind: The Mahabharata Ayurveda: The Art of Being
[16] Consciousness:
Learn about the basic unity of existence and the miracle of consciousness.
Atheneâs Theory of Everything Theory of Everything: GOD, Devils, Dimensions, Dragons & The Illusion of Reality The God Within: Physics, Cosmology and Consciousness 5 Gateways: The Five Key Expansions of Consciousness Return to the Source: Philosophy and The Matrix The Holographic Universe DMT: The Spirit Molecule Kymatica Neuroplasticity: The Brain That Changes Itself
[17] Mysteries:
Indiana Jones-style explorations into the unsolved mysteries of the past.
Alchemy: Sacred Secrets Revealed The Day Before Disclosure The Pyramid Code The Secret Design of the Egyptian Pyramids Decoding the Past: Secrets of the Dollar Bill Origins of the Da Vinci Code Forbidden Knowledge: Ancient Medical Secrets Secret Mysteries of Americaâs Beginnings: The New Atlantis Secrets in Plain Sight
[18] Mass Culture:
Learn about how our thoughts and opinions are influenced by mass culture.
The Century of the Self All Watched Over By Machines Of Loving Grace The Power Of Nightmares Starsuckers: A Culture Obsessed By Celebrity Human Resources: Social Engineering in the 20th Century Obey: The Death of the Liberal Class Motivational Guru: The Story of Tony Robbins Bob Marley: Freedom Road Radiant City
[19] Corporate Media:
Discover how the mass media and advertisers channel our irrational impulses.
Weapons of Mass Deceptions Secrets of the Superbrands Orwell Rolls in his Grave The Esoteric Agenda Propaganda The Myth of the Liberal Media: The Propaganda Model of News Manufacturing Consent: Noam Chomsky and the Media Symbolism in Logos: Subliminal Messages or Ancient Archetypes Edward Snowden: A Truth Unveiled Outfoxed: Rupert Murdochâs War on Journalism
[20] Art and Literature:
Explore the lives of famous artists and how art opens peopleâs minds.
Cosm: Alex Grayâs Visionary Art Banksyâs Exit Through The Gift Shop New Art and the Young Artists Behind It Salvador Dali: A Master of the Modern Era The Day Pictures Were Born Off-Book: Digital Age Creativity This Is Modern Art
[21] Health:
Explore issues in health, how our bodies work and the incredible power of our brains.
The Human Brain The Truth About Vitamins How To Live To 101 Americaâs Obesity Epidemic The War On Health The Beautiful Truth Food Inc. The Truth About Food The Living Matrix
[22] Drugs:
Documentaries on the effect of drugs â legal and illegal â on the body and mind.
The Union: The Business Behind Getting High The Drugging Of Our Children How Marijuana Affects Your Health Making a Killing: The Untold Story of Psychotropic Drugging Clearing the Smoke: The Science of Cannabis LSD: The Beyond Within The War on Drugs: The Prison Industrial Complex Are Illegal Drugs More Dangerous Than Legal Drugs? The Prescription Drug Abuse Epidemic Run From The Cure: The Rick Simpson Story
[23] Environment:
Thought-provoking documentaries on the environmental movement and the growing threats to our biosphere.
Earthlings Blue Gold: World Water Wars Shift: Beyond the Numbers of the Climate Crisis All Things Are Connected The Fight For Amazonia Flow: For Love Of Water Here Comes the Sun The World According To Monsanto The Story of Stuff
[24] Cosmos:
Expand your mind by exploring our indescribably large and beautiful Cosmos.
The Search for Planets Similar to Earth Cosmic Journeys : The Largest Black Holes in the Universe The Mystery of the Milky Way Fractals: The Hidden Dimension Into The Universe With Stephen Hawking: The Story of Everything Pioneer Science: Discovering Deep Space Carl Saganâs Cosmos The Strangest Things In The Universe
[25] Science:
The history of scientific discovery and how scientific instruments expand our perception.
The Complete History of Science Secret Universe: The Hidden Life of the Cell Stephen Hawking: A Brief History of Time Quantum Mechanics: Fabric of the Cosmos The Light Fantastic DNA: The Secret of Life Parallel Universes, Alternative Timelines & Multiverse What Is The Higgs Boson? Infinity
[26] Evolution:
The story of our evolution and the emergence of self-aware human beings.
The Origin of Life Homo Sapiens: The Birth of Humanity Beyond Me The Global Brain Metanoia: A New Vision of Nature Birth Of A New Humanity Samsara Ape Man: Adventures in Human Evolution The Incredible Human Journey The Human Family Tree
[27] Psychology and The Brain:
New research is shining a spotlight on how we can improve our brains.
How Smart Can We Get? The Science of Lust The Secret You What Are Dreams? A Virus Called Fear Beyond Thought (Awareness Itself) The Human Brain Superconscious Mind: How To Double Your Brainâs Performance How Does Your Memory Work? Secrets of the Mind
[28] Modern History:
The story of the Enlightenment, the Industrial Revolution and the rise of the modern world.
History of the World in Two Hours The Industrial Revolution The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich The French Revolution Big Sugar The American Revolution
[29] Pre-Modern History:
The story of the Americas and European history in the pre-modern world.
Socrates, Aristotle and Plato The Medici: The Most Influencial Family In The World A History of Celtic Britain The Crusades: Victory and Defeat The Vikings: Voyage To America Copernicus and the Scientific Revolution
[30] Current Events:
Become more informed about current events that are shaping the world.
Syria: The Reckoning Empire: Putinâs Russia The New Arms Race The Killing of Yasser Arafat Egypt In Crisis Inside Obamaâs Presidency The Untouchables: How Obama Protected Wall Street Behind The Rhetoric: The Real Iran A History of the Middle East since WWII Climate Wars
[31] Ancient Civilizations:
Fascination explorations into the ancient civilizations of our past.
The Persian Empire : Most Mysterious Civilization in the Ancient World What The Ancients Did For Us What the Ancients Knew Egypt: Beyond the Pyramids Secrets of the Ancient Empires Graham Hancockâs Quest For The Lost Civilization Atlantis: The Lost Continent Seven Wonders of the Ancient World
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