#artic monkeys song theory

[misskattylashes]

Can we talk about how Put Your Dukes Up John (originally by The Little Flames) and Teddypicker are essentially call and answer songs. Put Your Dukes Up John is about a person being manipulated by the music industry to be successful. Teddypicker is about a person so desperate for fame they allow themselves to be manipulated

[misskattylashes]

After the Glastonbury performance of I Wanna Be Yours/Star Treatment, I think this could near the mark. Alex was clearly emotional singing it, and Jamie, Matt and Tom all appeared to be tearful, and this comes a week after their reunion with Miles in London. I could speculate why but it's useless because we'll never know

Ah... I feel a bit strange doing this. Might just stay in the drafts forever. We'll see. But my hands itch to do it every single time I listen to the song so... So here's a lyric analysis of "Star Treatment" and how... it might?... be? A song... About... Miles Kane?? Maybe??? 🫣 (no executions please. I'm really not trying to push this narrative. These things just kind of jumped out at me & I felt an urge to write it down somewhere. And perhaps see if anyone agrees? Comments encouraged! If anyone ever stumbles upon this silly thing) This will get long... Cause that's who I am. And also it references other songs.

Disclaimer 1: I did see someone attempt this on reddit. It was a bit out there though... And maybe ironic? I do share a thought or two with them though.

Disclaimer 2, an Important one: this does rely on an implication that there was something more between the two sometime around/ between 2015-2017ish? I don't want to put any labels and try to stay away from any too specific guesses. But well, I suppose I do kind of personally believe there was something there. If you're not a fan of theories about private lives of real people... I'm sorry. This one's not for you. I really do try to do it as respectfully as possible though. At the end of the day - it's just a theory. And not a mean one. I understand it's all just something that fits together in my head and may be very far from any truth. Disclaimer 3: I know this album is a concept album centered around characters. But I'm analyzing the second, potential autobiogrophical hidden layer beneath the obvious first meaning

Okay, let us have a whack at it now:

I just wanted to be one of The Strokes Now look at the mess you made me make Hitchhiking with a monogrammed suitcase Miles away from any half-useful imaginary highway

This one is very on the nose. But quite literally sneaking in his name in the lyrics -- maybe? we know Alex loves playing with many meanings/hidden messages & double entendres. + the being away from any half-useful imaginary highway makes me think of when he spoke about the fact that he couldn't write any more love-related matarial after EYCTE. And someone encouraged him to just go a different route. That's how TBHC was born. But also implies some trouble in the love-related ascpects of his life around the time. Could've just been trouble around Taylor - who he broke up with soon after the album's release. There's theories about how that happened [current girlfriend invloved] - but maybe there was even more confusion & heartbreak in the mix (ending a tour with someone with whom the lovey-dovey jokes may have gone a bit too far/serious?)

I'm a big name in deep space, ask your mates But golden boy's in bad shape

this is just implying any sort of broken-heartedness.

I found out the hard way that Here ain't no place for dolls like you and me Everybody's on a barge Floating down the endless stream of great TV 1984, 2019

dolls = puppets. And how the industry / society isn't a good place for relationships like this. (People wouldn't understand the type of bond they share?)

Maybe I was a little too wild in the '70s Rocket-ship grease down the cracks of my knuckles Karate bandana, warp speed chic Hair down to there, impressive moustache

Miles and Alex have spoken many times about how their first album was heavily 60s inspired - Scott Walker, The Beatles, 60s Morricone.

What may be less obvious and spoken about is how EYCTE was sort of meant to take their work into the 70s. He spoke about it in an interview when asked about the album cover. It's a 1969 photo of Tina Turner - which Alex commented on by saying: "The idea was to move the artwork on from the ’60s feel of the first Last Shadow Puppets album artwork, so here is Tina on the very cusp of the 1970s" (They also chose to sing covers like Moonage Daydream and Is This What You Wanted during that tour. Both 70s songs from artists that defined the era). So this could be him reflecting on the EYCTE era and how things may have gotten a bit too far during the time. Going in to deep, crossing some boundries and definitions?

Love came in a bottle with a twist-off cap Let's all have a swig and do a hot lap

alcohol? pills? alcohol & or drugs clouding some judgement/helping loosen up and causing the crossing of certain [friendship] boundries?

So who you gonna call? The Martini Police Baby, that isn't how they look tonight, oh no It took the light forever to get to your eyes

It's not a particularly meaningful line in terms of this narrative - but I wanted to talk about it because I find it so beautiful but also so fuck*ng sad. Like - one of he saddest lines I've read. It just hit me in the heart straight away when I heard it. I feel like my personal interpretation is dead wrong. But still choose to see it that way. I also know of the story of how it's inspired by Alex's dad telling him about how we see the light of the stars the way it was in the past bc of how long it takes to reach us. The way I hear this line though is: seeing the bottomless sadness in the eyes of someone who had their heart broken. Someone whose eyes used to be full of happiness - and now it takes forever for any touch of happiness to show up in their gaze. Now a possible interpratation for a second meaning to this whole section could be: calling the martini police = grabbing a drink to help with hearbreak, when there's no other solutions left. Miles has sang in his breakup album Coup de Grace about how he drowned the sadness after hearbreak in alcohol and pills. Mixing stuff together like a mad scientist etc. (Also if you ever saw the interview he did with [the one and only] Martin on his CDG album... Oof... Yeah. There was no light in that man's eyes. Even Martin saw that pain and commented on it. It's a tough one to watch)

I just wanted to be one of those ghosts You thought that you could forget And then I haunt you via the rear view mirror On a long drive from the back seat

This is one of these sections that hits me the most. Cause to me it can be seens as: Alex being aware of how much pain he caused - all he could wish is that he was just another lover whom the hearbroken person [Miles?] could forget. But alas - he still haunts him. Here it gets interesting (or batshit crazy. Cause I might be). Beacause the use of "ghost" just absolutely sends me to Miles' song "Shavambacu" - where he describes the eyes/thoughts of an ex lover still being focused on him after the breakup (this song though could have a whole seperate post of it's own) While "haunting via a rear view mirror" made me jump up and recall lyrics from Miles' song "Dont let it get you down". I saw your reflection, in The backseat of a Chevrolet from Hollywood to East LA NOW - don't shout at me. I know timelines are important. Because Shavambacu and Star Treatment came out around a similar time period. But Shavambacu came out a little bit later. While DLIGYD came out completely after all of hits - this year. So first off - I'm considering the fact that Miles and Alex are clearly still friends and in contact. So could have shown each other songs earlier. But more plausible theory: if these songs are perhaps maybe inspired by one another - they clearly are gonna recall events and/or inside lingo and jokes they both used. Possible situation: post Miles-Alex hearbreak Miles stumbled upon Alex going somewhere in a car. They spotted each other. this also makes me recall the whole:

Swear I saw you smile You try to hide it well 3:15 on the wrong side Columbia Street line from "Killing the Joke". Which many think references the area that Alex lives in. They lived a few minutes away from each other around 2016-2017. So would obviously run into one another often. Even if they were going through something and taking a break/trying not to.

But it's alright, 'cause you love me And you recognise that it ain't how it should be Your eyes are heavy and the weather's getting ugly

This one is also way to sad if you place it in a relationshippy context. There's a few ways I see it: 1) it's alright - no matter what happens, because A. knows M. loves him and will understand why things ended like they did. It shouldn't be this way - but it has to be, because there's things standing in the way. He believes he'll understand despite the grief. 2) dramatic, sad version - the "it ain't how it should be" actually references the "love me part". So M. should understand that things ended because they shouldn't love each other this way. It's just now how it should be and A. believes M. recognises that.

So pull over, I know the place Don't you know an apparition is a cheap date? What exactly is it you've been drinking these days?

once again referencing bumping into each other randomly? And going with it - going some place; talking. Maybe about how Miles' is doing, the heartbreak, how he deals with it - the alcohol (once again - just referencing what he himself sang about in lyrics on his breakup album)

Jukebox in the corner, "Long Hot Summer" They've got a film up on the wall and it's dark enough to dance

"Long Hot Summer" - by The Style Council is actually a song Alex cited to be one of the main references/inspirations used when working on the EYCTE album. So is definitely a nostalgic/meaninful song between the two. They go to a place after bumping into one another - there's a jukebox with a nostalgic song. They can dance together - because it's an incognito, dark place.

What do you mean you've never seen Blade Runner?

Now the Blade Runner line is so clearly Taylor Bagley (the woman is a huge, huge fan of it, apparently) it did have me stumped for a while. But then - maybe it's a clarifying line? Like - if this were about Taylor he would definitely not say that to her. It's obvious she's seen it a million times. Maybe this is here to sort of clarify this?

Oh, maybe I was a little too wild in the '70s Back down to earth with a lounge singer shimmer Elevator down to my make-believe residency From the honeymoon suite Two shows a day, four nights a week Easy money

70s again - EYCTE era But after the tour ended it was time to go back to earth, back to being non-TLSP Alex. Running away from reality into writing music - writing about a make-believe residency (Tranquility Base) Time to leave the honeymoon era = the tour and shows TLSP had together. (also AM may be easy money? Their reputation [very well deserved] makes it so that it's easy - bc anything they come out with will be bought)

So who you gonna call? The Martini Police So who you gonna call? The Martini Police Oh, baby, that isn't how they look tonight It took the light absolutely forever to get to your eyes

...

And as we gaze skyward, ain't it dark early?It's the star treatment Yeah, and as we gaze skyward, ain't it dark early? It's the star treatment It's the star treatment The star treatment

a sad ending. It got dark. A bit too early. It's sad that it all ended. But that's how it has to be - in show buisness, in the industry. They're well known people and it could hurt their careers - also it would just get out easily, so there's no room for self-discovery and just trying it out. That's the star treatment. (This is also a theme I am seeing in Mr. Schwartz lyrics. But that's for another time) Am I crazy? Probably! Is this just accidental elaborate fan fiction? Maybe! But still...I don't know. Song theories are fun. I get that morally it's a gray / or maybe even red area - talking out loud, publicly about theories invloving specific names and relationships. But like... Sue me! Let's call it a guilty pleasure. If anyone ever reads through this wall of text... Hi! Thanks and sorry. And please share some thoughts! (Eh. May just delete this soon anyway) Peace and love

[sleepyyshouto]

❝do I wanna know?❞

★ kay | 18 | she/her

★ main @keeping-up-with-kay

★ haikyuu!! @sleepyomi

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currently;

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★ song: arabella - artic monkeys

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do not edit, reblog, or repost this post per @sleepyyshouto

[peachypede]

Here is my first batch of the spam for the daily berries questions hahaha 💓💝🎶

💓 - What are some signs they’ve fallen for someone? How do they show their affection?

Pecha

- Suddenly goes from 50 on the stuttering scale to a 100. Can’t seem to form a sentence properly when she’s crushing on you.

- Same with clumsiness. Brain is turned off when there’s love.

- So. Much. Blushing.

- Lots of gifts “these made me think of you”. Gift giving is a big love language for her, especially baking. Likes to take care of her crush in some way, whether it be the food like I mentioned previously or even offering to clean their house if you’re feeling stressed with time. Feeling like she’s helping you makes her happy!

Rawst

- Not much of a difference between how he treats friends and how he treats crushes. You’re in his social circle and he likes to tease you a lot.

- Texts you a lot more than usual. Wants to know what you’re up to. Wanna hang out?

- He’s often cuddly with close friends but becomes even more so with you. Just randomly holds hands. Turns his brain off when you guys are at a store or mall and kind lets you tug him wherever like a puppy on a leash.

- His giving love language is quality time and touch because he feels weird actually saying “i like you” out loud.

💝 - What gestures do they really appreciate? How do you get on their good side?

- Any thoughtful or kind gesture goes straight to Pecha’s heart. Her receiving love languages are also gifts and acts of service, so she very much appreciated them. It makes her feel taken care of and loved. She does appreciate words, but she always feels like actions describe a person better

- Rawst also enjoys receiving physical touch and having his friends ask if they want to spend time, too. He enjoys when someone wants to do stuff with him, even if it’s weird things. (An example that popped in my head is @asterer ‘s oc Aster shows Rawst weird movies and he honestly loves that shit. Not only do they get to hang out but now they have like inside jokes)

🎶 - What’s a song they really like?

I’ll do a list of songs so you can get what kind of vibes they like in their music

Pecha

Songs she likes ranges from “im depressed and need sad vibes” to “im energized and working so i need upbeat vibes” to “im daydreaming and need songs to imagine myself and my crush to”

- Numb Little Bug by Em Beihold

- Prom Queen by Beach Bunny

- My Ted Talk by Mxmtoon

- El Chico Del Apartamento 512 by Selena

- 2 Be Loved by Lizzo

- I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston

- Line Without a Hook By Ricky Montgomery

- This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory

- Dandelions by Ruth B

Rawst

I feel like I might change Dawst liking emo and heavy metal because with the way ive written him he seems like he likes lofi and soundtracks because he does a lot of chill streams as well, when he’s alone he likes music when a heavy emphasis on guitar because he likes playing guitar.

- Any lofi that makes you feel like you’re in a cafe

- Beneath the mask (instrumental) - Persona 5 OST

- Should I Stay or Should I Go by The Clash

- Do I Wanna Know by Artic Monkeys

- Fell in Love With a Girl by White Stripes

- Back in Black by AC/DC

- I Was Made For Lovin’ You by KISS

[boxeom]

Songs I Think JJK Characters Would Have On Their Simping Playlist For You

| |Characters: Gojō Satoru, Nanami Kento, Itadori Yūji, Kugisaki Nobara, Fushiguro Megumi, Fushiguro Toji, Zen'in Maki, Inumaki Toge, Okkatsu Yūta, Geto Suguru, Irie Shoko, Ryomen Sukuna.

| |A/N: I'm embarrassed with how long this took me to make lmao. Don't be shy to comment which playlists are your favorite or which songs you think are fitting! I'd also love to see if you have any songs you think are accurate for the characters, too (I adore music, so I'm always up to listen to suggested songs)! [💮= Favorites]

| |Check Out: prt.II

☄️Gojo Satoru☄️

☄️"Nothing" (Jeremy Passion)

☄️"Someone To You" (Banners)

☄️"That's What I Like" (Bruno Mars)

☄️"I Found" (Amber Run)

☄️"See You Again" (Tyler, The Creator)

☄️"You Are The Reason" (Calum Scott)

☄️"This Is How You Fall In Love" (Jeremy Zucker ft.Chelsea Cutler)

☄️"I.F.L.Y" (Bazzi)

☕Nanami Kento☕ (💮)

☕"What You Won't Do For Love" (Bobby Caldwell)

☕"Mirror" (Justin Timberlake)

☕"Kiss Me" (Ed Sheeran)

☕"I Love You Baby" (Frank Sinatra)

☕"Somewhere Only We Know" (Keane)

☕"Isn't She Lovely" (Stevie Wonder)

☕"Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop" (Landon Pigg)

☕"Say You Won't Let Go" (James Arthur)

🌻Itadori Yūji🌻

🌻"Constant" (Jeremy Passion)

🌻"Treasure" (Bruno Mars)

🌻"Consider Me" (Allen Stone)

🌻 "Out of My Leauge" (Fitz And The Tantrums)

🌻"Ho Hey" (The Lumineers)

🌻"Photograph" (Ed Sheeran)

🌻"Puppy Love" (gani)

🌻"Line Without A Hook" (Rick Montgomery)

🔨Kugisaki Nobara🔨 (💮)

🔨"Vanilla Sunday" (Emily Burns ft.Olivia Nelson)

🔨"Say My Name" (ODESZA)

🔨 "Say So" (Doja Cat)

🔨"Love" (Keyshia Cole)

🔨 "Mine" (Bazzi)

🔨"Better" (Jeremy Passion)

🔨"falling for u" (Peachy)

🔨 "uwu" (chevy)

🌌Fushiguro Megumi🌌 (💮)

🌌"This Side of Paradise" (Coyote Theory)

🌌"Two Time" (Jack Stauber)

🌌"Private Fears In Public Places" (Front Porch Step)

🌌"Best Part" (Daniel Caesar ft.HER)

🌌"Ultimately" (Khai Dreams)

🌌"Love" (Finding Hope)

🌌"The Scientist" (Coldplay)

🌌"Bad Habit" (Ben Platt)

🌆Fushiguro Toji🌆 (💮)

🌆"Try A Little Tenderness" (Otis Redding)

🌆"She Will Be Loved" (Maroon 5)

🌆"Work Song" (Hozier)

🌆"Lost" (Michael Buble)

🌆 "It's You" (Ali Gatie)

🌆"Fooled Around And Fell In Love" (Elvin Bishop)

🌆"Something I Need" (OneRepublic)

🌆"Pretty Face" (Public)

🌕Zen'in Maki🌕

🌕"Things That Make It Warm" (Cavetown)

🌕"Last of Her Kind" (Alec Benjamin)

🌕"Lost In Space" (Joni)

🌕"White Blood" (Oh Wonder)

🌕"All My Dreams of You" (Alexis Neon)

🌕"The Train Ride Home" (The Paper Kites)

🌕"Honey" (Kehlani)

🌕"I Am Falling In Love" (Isak Danielson)

🍙Inumkai Toge🍙

🍙"Can I Call You Tonight" (Dayglow)

🍙"Corduroy Dreams" (Rex Orange County)

🍙"Running After You" (Matthew Mole)

🍙 "Please Never Fall In Love Again" (Ollie MN)

🍙"Electric Love" (Børns)

🍙"Your Fantasy" (Khai Dreams)

🍙"Talk To Me" (Cavetown)

🍙"Your Soul" (Forrest.)

💞Okkotsu Yūta💞

💞"Perfectly Imperfect" (Declan J. Donavan)

💞"A Thousand Years" (Christina Perri)

💞"Mr. Loverman" (Rick Montgomery)

💞"Every Little Thing She Does" (Sleeping At Last Cover)

💞"Build It Better" (Aron Wright)

💞"Somebody To Stay" (Vancouver Sleep Clinic)

💞"Germany And Rome" (The Ridleys)

💞"I'm Yours" (Jason Mraz)

🗻Geto Suguru🗻 (💮)

🗻"Okinawa" (92914)

🗻"300 AM" (Finding Hope)

🗻"Make You Mine" (Public)

🗻"Sweater Weather" (The Neighborhood)

🗻"If You Love Me, Come Clean" (Flatsound)

🗻"Sick of Losing Soulmates" (dodie)

🗻"Mind Over Matter" (Young The Giant)

🗻"The Night We Met" (Lord Huron)

🚬 Ieiri Shoko🚬 (💮)

🚬"Deeper Conversation" (Yuna)

🚬"Cigarettes" (OffonOff ft. Miso, Tablo)

🚬"We Don't Know" (Pop Culture)

🚬"Just A Game" (Birdy)

🚬"Infinity" (James Young)

🚬"Weird Around You" (Eerie Summer)

🚬"Lava Lamp" (Mia Gilling)

🚬"Walk With Me" (Tate Chake)

🌸Ryomen Sukuna🌸

🌸"I Won't Hurt You" (WCPAEB)

🌸"Do I Wanna Know" (Artic Monkeys)

🌸"Ain't No Sunshine" (Bill Withers)

🌸"I Don't Want To See The World On Fire" (The Ink Spots)

🌸"Changing Partners" (Helen Forrest)

🌸"The Great Pretender" (The Platters)

🌸"Stand By Me" (The Drifters)

🌸"To Build A Home" (The Cinematic Orchestra)

© Boxeom 2021- please refrain from copying, reposting or translating. DO NOT REPOST MY WORKS.

[poohpoohtud]

I was tagged by @neuroxin and @ yddaw

URL mixtape game

Rules: pick a song for each letter of your URL

Then tag the same number of blogs.

"Pepper" The Butthole Surfers https://youtu.be/CO8vBVUaKvk

"O Superman" Laurie Anderson

https://youtu.be/Vkfpi2H8tOE

"Ohio " Crosby Stills and Nash

https://youtu.be/l1PrUU2S_iw

"Hair" The cowsills

https://youtu.be/Qt_yKPNORLM

"Pac-Man" The Gorillaz

https://youtu.be/G-7U-FDql1A

"Orgasm Addict" The Buzzcocks

https://youtu.be/p2Mi995ggFU

"O Baby" Siouxsie and the Banshees

https://youtu.be/0jAzo2cPZp4

"Happy Jack" The Who

https://youtu.be/52cQeFBU2Kw

"Twin Peaks Twist" Messer Chups

https://youtu.be/tZZHrK311aw

"U Bring Me Joy" Anita Baker

https://youtu.be/UZ5SaXj30Kw

"D Is For Dangerous" The Artic Monkeys

https://youtu.be/0w6WlfdPSms

I tag.. @vaginablasts @kirasaysakujo @darkmagecimson @ericsquirrel @bluepotion-12-cal @cantdecide52 @slut-in-theory @antimony-ore @lunchbag--rodriguez @grandprise @coffeeinmybeard

[yandereaffections]

Youve sent me into a music frenzy now enjoy all the songs ive associated them to from my YouTube play list ❤️

Javier-

Overdose - Grandson

Daddy issues - The Neighborhood

Sweater weather - The Neighborhood

Caress your Heart - Sticky Fingers

This Side of Paradise - Coyote Theory

I Wanna be Yours - Artic Monkeys

Jackie and Wilson - Hozier

Pacify her - Melanie Martinez

All I got - Oliver Tree

Agapito-

Why do You Only Call Me When You're High - Artic Monkeys

Run - Hoizer

I Don't Even Speak Spanish - XXXTENTACTION

Wasteland Baby! - Hoizer

Blood//Water - Grandson

Burning Pile - Mother Mother

Mama - My Chemical Romance

The Remedy for a Broke Heart - XXXTENTACTION

Nicotine - P!ATD

Honest - The neighborhood

Nia-

I wanna be your girlfriend - Girl in Red

Peaches - Grandson, K-Flay

Can't get over you - Joji

American Boy - Estelle

That would I - Hozier

Like real people do - Hozier

High enough - K.Flay

NFWMB - Hozier

In a Week - Hozier

If I killed someone for you - Alec denjerman

Yandere - Jazmin bean

Aiden-

Sad! - XXXTENTACTION

Treehouse - Alex G

Wiped out - The Neighborhood

Crybaby - The Neighborhood

Bite - Troye Sivan

Heather - Conan Gray

Tear in my heart - 21 Pilots

Doubt - 21 Pilots

Crush - Tessa Violet

Is that alright? - Ashe

Lovefool - The Cardigans

Jamari-

IDFC (acoustic version) remix - Blackbear

Burry me Face Down - Grandson

Another way out - Hollywood undead

Sad! Hye Sung remix - XXXTENTACTION

Wrecking Ball - Mother Mother

Revenge - XXXTENTACTION

Despicable (acoustic version) - Grandson

High - SIVIK

[toraashi]

Haikyuu Boys as Songs From My “Songs I’ve Cried To At 3am” Playlist

A/N: Hello all! No, I did not need to make this, but I hope you enjoy it because I did spend a lot of time on it 😂. This playlist is literally all over the place, so hopefully this is entertaining lmao

[ All of the songs have YouTube links on them if you want to hear them! They’re all amazing songs! ]

Spotify link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6jdHk3a83shoAGgG7mPw21?si=x77gHbPwQ1eja-ehrljOLw

Karasuno:

Hinata: Sofia by Clairo. It’s actually kind of a happy song and Hinata is a ray of sunshine. I cried to it purely because of the line “I think we could do it if we tried.” LIKE I WAS SOBBING

Kageyama: Bravado by Lorde. I cried to this when I was a kid and I’ve assigned it to him because of it’s like about her rising above her shortcomings to embrace her career/fame and Kageyama basically did that when he chilled out from the king of the court thing

Suga: Epiphany by BTS because he learned to let go of his envy of Kageyama and be happy for his team and himself even though he wasn’t on the starting line-up

Daichi: Not About Angels by Birdy and Next To You from Parasyte cuz that’s the part where the girl dies. Rest in Peace Daichi 😔💔🪦 some angels leave us too soon

Tsukki: Car Radio by Twenty One Pilots. Idk he just screams TOP to me

Yamaguchi: Literally this OST from Mulan where she cuts all her hair off. Also Bravado by Lorde and Epiphany by BTS because he radiates all of those “overcoming my weaknesses and mental barriers to become my best self” vibes

Nishinoya: Training Wheels by Melanie Martinez because of the scene of him biking as a kid he used to be scared of everything and now he’s not and I just love my baby boi

Tanaka: If You’re Not The One by Daniel Bedingfield because he would sing that to Kiyoko TELL ME HE WOULDN’T YOU CANNOT BECAUSE HE WOULD BECAUSE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER ugly cries

Seijoh:

Oikawa: Girl From Mars by Cosmic Child because space AND BECAUSE IT’S LITERALLY ABOUT SOMEONE WHO HIDES THEIR SADNESS AND THAT’S OIKAWA HE’S DEPRESSED. That’s self-explanatory. And the Most Beautiful Moment In Life by BTS because it’s literally about Suga putting his all into basketball and neglecting his life to the point that he’s scared of it and I just feel like that’s Oikawa

Iwaizumi: Heart by Heart by Demi Lovato because I feel like he’d just be the best sweetest boyfriend and like the romance would just be so passionate and I- that’s all I love Iwa

Nekoma:

Kuroo: Mind over Matter by Young the Giant and Hometown Glory by Adele. Kuroo gives me intense “cute neighbor boy you’ve had a crush on forever” vibes. Mind Over Matter never fails to make me sob

Kenma: SUBWOOFER LULLABY LMAOOO and This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory because I want to be lonely with Kenma

Lev: Class of 2013 by Mitski because Lev is def the bby of the family and 100% needed to be kicked out of the house

Yaku: Like or Like Like by Minature Tigers cuz it’s happy and I just can’t imagine Yaku as anything but happy or maybe frustrated tbh. I’m not sure why I cried to this song but I definitely did.

Fukurodani:

Bokuto: Always Forever by Cults. I want to be with Bokuto always forever and it’s just so sweet and pure and that’s Kou for you and I just love him and this song makes me feel so much. And One of One by Duendita because that’s how he’d make his s/o feel. I’m not wrong.

Akaashi: GOLD RUSH BY TAYLOR SWIFT. WHY? Because Akaashi is absolutely stunning and that’s what the song talks about. ALSO THIS OST FROM HXH BECAUSE IT’S THE PART WHERE KILLUA IS LIKE “GON YOU ARE LIGHT” AND THAT’S LITERALLY HOW AKAASHI FEELS ABOUT BOKUTO TELL ME I’M WRONG YOU CAN’T. Also Everything I Wanted by Billie Eilish because he would. HE WOULD. No.1 Reliable boi Kaashi

Shiratorizawa:

Ushijima: Ghostin by Ariana Grande because I want to ghost him. Not really but like the only pity I ever had for him was when his parents bullied him for being left-handed like wtf was that

Tendo: …yeah I cried to Unravel from Tokyo Ghoul at 3am, but listen I’m giving it to Tendo because he did not deserve to be called a monster like he is literally an angel and I’m glad he embraced it but like TF HE WAS A CHILD.

Semi: 505 by Arctic Monkeys. Semi the actual celebrity. He writes music like this. Semi deadass would write this song. Semi is a sex icon as an adult for sure. He deserves this song

Inarizaki:

Kita: New Year’s Day by Taylor Swift. Kita is the one to enjoy the domestic moments in life after the party with. He’d stay and help you pick up the party, HE’S LITERALLY PERFECT OKAY?? And Wait by M83. It just gives me Kita vibes.

Aran: The Night by Lovewave. It’s so calm like my boy Aran is and like just imagine walking home late at night with him and then like parting ways forever. It just screams Aran.

Osamu: SATISFIED FROM HAMILTON. Yeah, I cried to this because I have a little sister. And Osamu gives me intense “I sacrifice a lot for my impulsive sibling and they don’t see it” vibes 

Atsumu: NUMBER 1 PARTY ANTHEM by Artic Monkeys. This song literally just screams Atsumu. I can’t explain it. Sexy, heartbroken Atsumu trying to hit up a girl at the bar as a distraction just to find out she’s taken just immediately reminds me of Atsumu. Also Boyish by Japanese Breakfast cuz I wrote a fic about it. 

Suna: Quit by Cashmere Cat and Ariana Grande. Idk. It just makes me think of him. Maybe it’s because it talks about the person she’s leaving like a drug and Suna gives me intense stoner vibes.

Other:

Sakusa: Clean by Taylor Swift 🤷🏻‍♀️

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[misskattylashes]

I always thought Alex was talking about himself being the one to end relationships....

[guessimjoiningthespidermanfandom]

Hell and Back Pt. 2

Peter Parker x bisexual!reader

Peter Parker x fem!reader

Peter Parker x black!reader 

Peter Parker x villain!reader 

Warnings: Language, hospital mentions, mentions of drug abuse, allusions to suicide, allusion to self harm, self deprecating thoughts, a gun, mentions of knives, mentions of the dead, anxiety, signs of abuse, abusive and toxic relationships, and fainting.

Word Count: 6.1k 

Songs: Pleaser-Wallows, 505-Artic Monkeys, Sweater Weather- The Neighborhood, Daddy Issues- The Neighborhood, Paper Planes- M.I.A, We come running- Youngblood Hawke, Young dumb and broke- Khalid, Do I wanna know- Artic Monkeys, Break the Rules- Charli XCX

“I smiled, I know as much as we get into petty arguments or try to annoy each other on purpose but I’d go to hell and back for those girls. And that’s exactly what I was going to do.” 

A/N: There might be some typos and grammatical errors sorry for those, I you want to be added to the Taglist just message me about or comment it. I’ll have a google form for it soon. 

Series Masterlist   Previous Part   Next Part

When I saw my little sisters, that all went away. Sure I still called them a lot but nothing could compare to actually seeing them in person. Sapphire launched herself into my arms and I stumbled back a bit.

“I missed you too,” I said.

I hugged Aaliyah too. When I entered the apartment I heard voices. My dad’s and some feminine voice. 

I walked in to find some woman who couldn't be older than 25 in my kitchen. Talking and laughing with my dad. I didn’t want to assume anything or start a scene so I just went into my room to catch up with my sisters. 

We were talking about some kid who gave me a DMT pen once and I was tripping balls which I probably shouldn’t be talking about, but I want them to feel comfortable enough to come to me. Makes it easier to keep them safe. 

Our dad opened the door and hung in the doorway.

“Hey… Y/N do you mind coming here for a sec?”

“Yeah sure…” 

I stepped out of the room. 

“Is something wrong?” It wasn’t often that he initiated a conversation that would end positively.

“No,no, not at all, I just want you to meet someone,” 

When I entered the kitchen the same woman from before was still there. My dad walked over to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. 

“This is my girlfriend, Camilla” 

I knew it . I knew it! I was trying not to be hostile toward her every problem I had was towards my dad so I smiled and waved to her.

“Camilla this is Y/N,” he pointed to me. 

“Well I’ll let y’all get acquainted,” He said before leaving the room.

I sat on the kitchen island and waited for her to say something first. 

“Look, I would just like to put it out there that I’m not trying to replace your mom in anyway.”

“Thanks I appreciate it,” 

“Also, are you okay now?” She asked in a low voice.

“Huh?” I questioned.

“Your dad said you ran away,” Of course he did “and I saw the news with your school at the Washington Monument.” So I guess she knew more about me then expected. Not surprised she was the one to ask me and not my so called dad.  

“Thanks for your concern but I’m fine, and sorry to cut this conversation short but I’m drained.” 

“Oh, okay, have a nice night,” 

“You, too,” 

I didn’t have time to think about anything. I just made it back to my room and face planted onto my bed. My whole being was sore including my brain. I didn’t have the energy to change my clothes, to shower, to think about my dad being a pathological liar or anything else that happened today.

I was awoken by my dad. I didn't know how long I slept but the sun was out. I can’t remember the last time I was able to sleep while the sun was up. 

“Hey we’re going out, for family bonding and I want you there with us,”

Family.

We ain’t ever been a family before why start now. Is what I really wanted to say but I sucked it up because again I hadn’t seen my sisters in a while. 

The movie was really boring. If we’re being honest. 

I pulled Aaliyah and Sapphire aside as my dad and Camilla were deep in conversation. 

“You know how I was staying at Wade’s house right?” 

They both nodded.

“What did dad tell you about this,” 

Sapphire just shrugged and Aaliyah was the one to post.

“I dunno he didn’t say much like usual he just kinda said you just left,” 

I felt my jaw tightening as I processed her words, my fist clenching by my side. 

“Oh, oh okay,” I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth a couple times “Well I just want you to know I’d never leave y’all without a very good reason, and I never won’t come back,” 

By the time we got back to the house it was around twelve since we watched another movie and went to a restaurant. Then got ice cream. This is the most money my dad could’ve possibly spent on me in a long time. I mean he didn’t because I didn’t get anything and bought my own ticket. I didn’t want him to be able to use the fact he bought me stuff against me. I’d gotten tired of the “after I’ll I’ve done for you,” excuse. 

I couldn’t sleep. No matter what I tried I couldn’t sleep. I tried NyQuil, melatonin, and even tea. The tea really did more harm than good. 

This was an extremely stupid thing to do so don’t follow my lead but I was bored. 

I grabbed a lot of useless shit from the floor of my room and made my way to the roof. I poured hand sanitizer on it and set it on fire. Putting aside the fact that it was really weird the fire was oddly beautiful. I sat there watching it for a minute before stomping it out. 

I was going to text my friend Carmen but I realized she was supposed to be asleep and I didn’t want to get her in trouble. 

I ended up scrolling through Zillow for a while then that turned into me applying for like four jobs. In which turned into me making spamming multiple friends saying we needed to hang out.

While I was on Zillow there was a relatively cheap apartment in Queens. Which was close to my school. It kept drawing me in for some reason. I bookmarked the tab.

Before I knew it the sun was up. I figured if I couldn’t sleep I would go on a walk to the park. 

When I got back to the complex everyone was still asleep except my dad who walked outside like he was waiting on me. He grabbed my arm, squeezing it tightly. 

He basically told me I looked like a prostitute. I was running so my sports bra and leggings were actually pretty appropriate. He said that I was probably going out to fuck people and that’s where I always was. I opened my mouth to defend myself.

“Actually I was just going to the-“ I was cut off by a sharp sting on my cheek. 

He fucking slapped me. Hard at that. He then grabbed my arm even tighter than before dragging me into the house.

 I don’t know what hurt worse my face or that fact that I wouldn’t be able to blame him being drunk on all the times he’d hit me before. He was just an ass.

  By the time I made it back to my room it felt like my body was burning itself from the inside out. My face was red and so was my arm from my elbow to almost my wrist. To try to cool myself down I took a cold shower and took some Tylenol. 

I still couldn’t sleep but tonight it was because it was so hot. I really needed a fan in my room. It was already 6 so I just decided to get a head start at the school. Not without taking pictures of my bruises before covering them with green concealer and foundation. I wore a hoodie for good measure. 

I felt dizzy and decided it was probably best not to skate at the moment and I’m 90% sure I fell asleep on the subway.  Apparently we had an art project due which I had no idea existed in the first place so I wasn’t going to that class today. Even though I did truly love Ms. Kramer. I was just gonna skip and go to Bri’s class. Which just happened to be chemistry. 

I wasn’t surprised Mr. Cobwell asked no question when I walked in. I ate lunch in his class a couple times, he was chill. He continued on talking about Quantum Theory. 

I made Flash move from his seat next to Bri which he immediately did. I guess he was scared of me now. 

“Hey,” I said, placing my non bruised side of my face on the desk.

“Hey,” She whispered back. “What class are you supposed to be in?” 

“Art,” 

“Why are you there? You love art,” 

“I’m not feeling it today,” 

“Alright,” she nodded.

“Lemme use your AirPods,” 

She reached into her bag handing them over going back to taking notes. That didn’t last long.

“What ya watching?” She asked.

“Bad Girls Club,” I smiled knowing she liked this show. 

“What season?” 

“7,” I whispered because now I felt too weak to waste my energy on speaking. I placed the phone on my lap and she took the other AirPod and before I knew I class was over with Tasha throwing trash everywhere.

I figured I was feeling sick because my blood sugar was low or something so I drank some Apple juice at lunch and called it a day.

Now time for Physics. I hate physics. Why would science ever require so much math? 

It was so hot. Like on the face of the sun, hot but I couldn’t take my hoodie off because I felt like I’d sweat my foundation off. 

“Are you okay?” Peter asked me “You look pale,” I swear if he doesn’t learn to mind his business.

“I’m fine,” I told him, not sure if I was trying to convince him or myself, I gestured to his notebook. “Do your work,” 

“Alright fine,” he said reluctantly, glancing at me once before getting back to writing whatever we were supposed to be doing down.

 I pulled my hoodie back over my head and sat up in my seat about to try to do my work again. But it was so hot and I was so dizzy that I couldn’t focus.

The world began to swirl and I knew the switch in my brain was going to flip off. I just didn’t have time or enough energy to tell anyone. 

When I woke up I was in a bed in the nurse's office and the first thing I noticed was I didn’t have my hoodie. Shit. I used to make fun of people for passing out because how does your own body clock out on you? Until it started happening to me like last year. 

I went into the bathroom and sure enough the giant bruise on my cheek and arm were kinda visible. 

Again shit.

I patted my forehead with a cold paper towel because the nurse’s bathroom actually had paper towels unlike all the others, before the nurse came back. 

“Hello, Are you feeling okay?” 

I nodded. She smiled down at me before giving me water and checking my temperature. 

“You have a fever,” she said after looking down at the thermometer “We called dad to come and pick you up but we got no answer. Is there anyone else that can come and take you?” 

I shook my head, not trusting my voice. 

I drank some more of the water before speaking up. 

“I have a friend who’s at this school she could maybe drop me off?” 

“I’m not sure if that’s allowed,” she said. 

“You know what? Go back to class, get your friend and come right back.”

I pushed off the bed and headed out of the nurses office surprised to find Peter sitting on the bench outside it. 

“Are you okay?” He asked me again 

“Yes I’m okay” I nodded. Apparently I wasn’t as okay as I thought because I almost tripped over my leg trying to move. But Peter immediately reached his hand out to stabilize me. And I don’t know why that made me as angry as it was but I said “I don’t need you to help,” harsher than I need to. 

“Sorry,” I said calmly almost immediately after. 

“It’s okay,” He said scratching the back of his neck.

“If you don’t mind me asking where’d these bruises come from,” 

“I fell,” was all I said. He looked skeptical but that was all he was going to get, I didn’t need CPS all up in my business. That’s also payback for him lying to me about “cat scratches”. 

“Can you do me a favor?” I asked.

“Yeah, anything,” he said. 

“Can you go get Briana from Mr. Dell’s class for me?” 

“Yeah I’ll be right back,” he said before sprinting down the hallway. I giggled at his giddiness. It was still extremely hot everywhere my body was tingling. 

Bri ran towards me 

“Oh my god are you okay,” 

“I’m fine, I just need you to talk to the nurse with me real quick,” 

She apparently didn’t have her car with her today so she was a no go. 

“I’m sorry girl,” she said, pulling me into a hug. 

“It’s okay, go back to class now,” I said.

“Alright feel better,”

I walked back out of the office to find none other than Peter still waiting there.

“So what happened?” He asked.

“Looks like I’m walking home,” I smiled sarcastically. “Yay,”

“I can walk you home,”

“No, thank you” 

“I insist,” I laughed again 

“I still think that word is funny,” I said.

“Okay, now let me walk you home,” 

We were walking in no general direction. No one but MJ and Bri know my address and  I’d like  to keep it that way. 

“Wait, you need food,” He claimed.

We ended up at this place called Delmar’s Deli. I’d passed it a couple times while walking home and during my less legal “hobby”. I really wasn’t hungry at all. I took all of like two bites from my sandwich claiming I’d take it to go before throwing it away. It wasn’t bad, it was quite good, actually I just wasn’t hungry. 

“My aunt is a nurse at an emergency room, she can check you out,” I hate anything that's anything like a hospital at all brings terrible memories, but I didn’t want him to know where I lived so I agreed. I’d ditch him then.  

It took us a while to get there but by the time we did I had to stop and catch my breath. He offered to walk me home and got me food. What a Spiderman thing to do. I’d say I had much solid proof to go on by now.  

“Peter!” The gorgeous brunette woman came over to the waiting room “What are you doing here don’t you have school?” 

“Yeah but my friend-“ When her eyes ghosted over to my face she cut herself off. “Oh my God are you okay,” she referred to my bruises “What happened to you?” 

“Did Flash do this to her?” She asked Peter and I had to stifle a laugh at that. I wish he would try to lay a finger on me. 

“No, she just told me she fell, we’re here cause she fainted and I don’t know if the school nurse is very capable of actually helping,” 

Is this a new thing Peter just decides to randomly worry about me for no good reason and forces me into taking care of myself. Because I hate it. 

“Oh, ok,” She nodded her head. “Grab one of those questionnaires over there,” She pointed to the sign in table. “Are your parents going to come too?” She asked and I shook my head. 

She and Peter moved over to the side and started talking about something I had no interest in. I grabbed the questionnaire and sat on the edge of the closest seat.  

1. What’s your age?

That’s easy 15.

2. Specify your race 

African American of course.

3. Select your highest level of education

Some high school

4. What’s your marital status? 

Single never married. Unless you count that un-ordained wedding I once had.

5. Specify your employment status

A student. 

6. Have you ever been treated in an emergency room (specify age)? 

Yes, as a child. 

7. Have you ever been rushed to the hospital? If yes, do you remember why?

Okay wow. Yes. 

I sat on the cold bathroom floor, vision blurry from tears forming in my eyes. 

“Y/N, you okay in there?” I heard my brother ask after lightly rapping his fingers on the door. 

“Yeah, I’m okay!” 

No I wasn’t. I wasn’t okay at all. In fact I was the farthest thing from okay. I glanced down at my thighs, you could see cuts from the night before and scars peeking out from underneath my shorts. I was sobbing at this point. 

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. I wasn’t sure if it was for myself or to everyone I knew I’d hurt by this. I already had the headache. I was just waiting for the rest of the pills to kick in. 

I was holding onto the sink for support when the left side of my body started to feel tingly. The whole situation felt hazy. I was shaking hard before I fell, taking almost everything on the sink with me. 

My head hit the bathmat and I could feel my heart slowing and hear my breath become shallow. I heard the doorknob jingle and that was the last thing before a feeling of true bliss and peace took over my body. 

I could hear screams and sirens and I knew I was in an ambulance. Slowly I awoke with wires all over my body and an IV in my wrist. My limbs were dead weight, I couldn’t move. 

A single tear fell from my eye alerting me off my surroundings. I quickly came back to myself. I made up the excuse of a family emergency and left.

I ended up halfway across the city. Then in Brooklyn visiting a friend. 

I knocked on the window of Aaron’s apartment. I could see Miles sitting on the couch.

“How’ve things been over here?” I asked once I was settled on the couch as well. 

“Uh, pretty tame, and you?” 

“There was that whole elevator stunt and I almost fucking died which was fun.” 

“Forgot you never take anything seriously,” He rolled his eyes. 

I laughed in response “Well one of us has got to be fun for us since it’s clearly not you,” 

“In celebration of me not dying I’m making sundaes,” 

“Alright,” He said leaning back on the couch. 

“Hey uh, When’s Aaron coming back?” I asked, getting the whipped cream out of the fridge.

“I’m not sure,” 

This is actually like really fucking dangerous. Like it could kill me. It’s just I was already in pain and had a headache. I also wasn’t thinking. I’d already made the sundaes. I turned around so Miles couldn’t see what I was doing before I- Okay I’m not going to do this. Get it together God you’re acting like an addict. The amount of people who’ve died from inhalants were insane. There it is again death. 

“Drawn anything new lately?” I asked, wanting to get my mind off of the topic of death that seemed to be plaguing my brain lately.  

“Some small sketches,”

I got the text that’d I been waiting for. I’d been talking to Aaron for the past few days. I’m not sure how Miles would feel about that. So I haven’t said anything. 

But I got the text. 

Staten Island Ferry 3pm

I immediately popped up from the couch.

“I have to go like right now, it’s an emergency,” 

I sprinted towards the door almost running into the punching bag in front of me. 

“Y/N-“ 

It’d been a week and things were looking up. I had a great day yesterday without the use of any drug. But nothing good ever lasts too long. I didn’t have to worry about that now. What I needed to worry about, was getting Peter to stop falling on his ass. 

I tried not to laugh at him and failed. 

“It’s not funny,” he said, pulling me down with him as I reached out to pull him up. Soon he was laughing too. 

I felt a vibration in my pocket and saw that Aaron texted me. 

hey the results from the search came in.

what???? don’t play with me I’m on my way right now. 

“Uh hey I gotta go sorry,” 

“No it’s fine I probably should get home too,” He pushed off the ground reaching down for me. 

“Do you wanna do this again tomorrow?” He asked a hopeful glint in his eye once we were both on our feet.

“Yeah sounds nice,” I smiled.

“Okay,” He nodded.

“Okay,” I echoed heading off. 

Ned was being fucking stupid.

“NO!” I slammed my hands down on the table “You don’t stab anyone especially if you plan on using bleach to clean up the blood. At least use vinegar and lemon,”

“Okay, jeez,” he said reeling back, “How would you do it then?” 

Before I could say anything MJ spoke up

“You could just use a needle full of air in between their toes, Their heart would fail” 

“Orrr,” I said spinning around on top of the table towards Ned. “You could overdose them on potassium and by the time the police get there the potassium in their blood is back at a normal level,” 

“Yeah that works too,” MJ stated going back to whatever she was drawing.

“You guys scare me,” Ned muttered making me smile. 

“Where’s Peter?” I asked and Ned pointed across the room. 

There he was sitting by Liz. It was cute I knew about his little crush on her. I’m sure the whole school did. Glad it’s working out for him. However that did not stop the pain in my stomach. 

I got up from the table because suddenly I did not want to be at school anymore. 

“Where are you going?” MJ looked up at me.

I shrugged. In all honesty I had no I idea where I was going. Somehow I always end up at Wade’s house when I don’t know where I want to go. He wasn’t home but I had a key. I can’t remember if he gave it to me or I stole if we're being honest. 

Clearly I hadn’t passed by a mirror in a while because damn. I look terrible. 

My eyes were red and circled with a dark hue from lack of sleep. I still had a yellowing bruise on my cheek. I was pale. I looked to be on the verge of death. 

I looked frail, like at any second I’d just fall apart. 

It was so unfair. My bones dragged down my body. The pieces of my soul that were mined out and removed from my mind. There’s a hole leaving me forever longing and I cannot fill nor feel. Hiraeth, a beautiful word for a ugly feeling. longing for a home that I never truly had, a home in which I’d never return. I would like to drift to where my spirit lies. It’s in the eyes of you and me and everyone in between. Drifting on a small boat in the sea. Viridian. Yes! That's the place I would like to be, that's where my soul lies yes you see.

 I kept punching his punching bag over and over again. Until I was on my back on the floor begging my lungs to allow air into them with Time (Is) by Solange playing on loop. Something put it into my head that I had to kill Vulture. I’d never directly killed anyone but that was gonna change. Having people killed or knowing someone was going to kill someone and not doing anything about isn’t killing anyone in my book, but I’m sure it would be in Spidey’s

That’s literally Liz’s dad though…

Okay maybe I’d just get him locked up. Great now I gotta be a snitch. That’s new. I showered not even caring about my hair now my curls were sticking to my face. I was freezing now though. I didn’t know whether to be glad that my body wasn’t on fire anymore or be upset that I was covered in goosebumps. 

Wade’s laptop was sitting right there on his bed. I was only taking a shower but, I think I should be allowed to watch Netflix and he wouldn’t mind, I was already on his account anways. 

After like 3 episodes into this random show there was a folder that was calling to me for some reason. 

It’d be okay to take a sneak peek. I thought to myself. 

I clicked on it and it was locked. I guessed the password in like three tries. He’s really gotta up his password game. It opened to multiple folders, one with my mom's name. Okay I had to click this then. 

I opened it which opened to more folders one titled ‘In Case of My Death’. 

Okay, okay cool my mother has had a video of what to do all if she died all along. This would’ve come in handy five years ago. 

There were three videos with the names of myself and my sisters. I clicked on mine then paused it. 

Then unpaused it again. 

I couldn’t do it. Okay, yes I could. I played it again. As soon as I heard the beginning of the word “hi”. I shut the computer off. I couldn’t do this. Couldn't do it because I was weak, I couldn’t handle myself. I was stupid and weak and a fucking disappointment. Guess my dad had been right all these years. I knew there was always some truth to the words he spoke only a matter of time until I started acknowledging it. 

I don’t remember coming home to the apartment. And I definitely don’t remember writing all over the walls of my dad’s room. But I had a marker in my hands and it looked like a toddler had gone to town. 

Holy Shit 

He was actually going to murder me, in cold fucking blood.  I trashed, the living room area, his room, and then mine. I was not coming home tonight. Looks like I’d need to find a new home now. At this point that sounded like a pretty solid plan. 

I text my sisters a quick text ‘stay at grandma’s house tonight dad is going to pissed like Super Sayian mode’ before grabbing my go-bag which was: a bag of the essentials, like hygiene a couple shirts, shorts, hoodies, pants, and of course the flash drive can't forget the flash drive. 

The flash drive that’s driving me crazy. I’d yet to open it though.  I knew I was crazy because I did all this while fucking sobbing.

I wandered around for hours. Making my way to Brooklyn, Manhattan, Harlem, AND actual New York City.  

Somehow I still ended up at Olivia’s door at the end of the day. I honestly believe we were soulmates. Most people don’t know you get many soulmates in a lifetime. I think Olivia and I would be the karmic kind. A karmic relationship is meant to help you grow, but it is never meant to last—it's often playing out a bad experience from a past life. I’m guessing I hadn’t grown yet because here I was.

She opened the door after a second. I’m surprised she did because I used our special knock so I knew she knew it was me. 

“I can’t fucking do this anymore,” I screamed in her face. 

“You're the one going off and being secretive and shit, like you’re scared I’m gonna hurt you or something,” she yelled walking up the stairs. 

I followed after her, 

“Maybe you would hurt me. I don’t know you are insane,” I said, tears brimming my eyes. 

“Just because you have fucking daddy issues, doesn’t mean you have to carrying them into every part of your life,” 

“I have daddy issues?” I screamed soon turning into me choking on a laugh making an unhinged noise “Oh, I have fucking daddy issues, now? Oh, okay,” I nodded. 

“Your parents didn’t even fucking want you,” I pointed at her. “At least my mom stuck around before she died,” 

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” 

“Yeah well right back at you,” 

“You’re fucking psychotic! Literally you’re so much like your dad and you don’t even know it, You’re trying to please him and he doesn’t give two shits about you, Wake up Y/N! Wake up.” 

“I’m hard on you because I love you so much,” She claimed, but her love was suffocating. 

“Oh yeah? I asked “Well i don’t know how much more of this ’love’ I can take,” 

“Fine then,” She screamed. 

“Fine,” I said before she slammed the door in my face leaving me standing out in the cold crying. 

That wasn’t even the worse we’d said to each other. It was the first but not the last time we’d break up either. I do believe we loved each other though in our own twisted way. Well at least I know I loved her. 

“Hey,” She said softly as she could sense I was due to break at any second. My cheeks were probably tear stained. 

“Hey,” I whispered back. 

“Are you okay?” She asked. 

“No,” I shook my head. One thing I liked about her is I didn’t have to fake it around her, because masking my real emotions was so draining. At least I didn’t have to do it with everyone. 

“Wanna talk about it?” 

“No,” 

“Okay,” she said softly “My parents aren’t home, so you don’t have to worry about them,” not surprised. 

I nodded before she grabbed my hand bringing me inside.

“I missed you,” she said stroking my hair as I laid on her bed, my head in her lap. 

“I missed you too,” I wasn’t lying my head drifted to her from time to time. It wasn’t that I wanted to get back together I just missed her presence.  

She smiled sadly at me running her finger over the bags on my eyes. 

“Heavy is the head that wears the crown,” She quotes.

“Yeah well, ’m not queen or princess and definitely don’t have a crown, so we don’t gotta worry ‘bout me,” I said. 

“You’re a princess to me,” I gave a genuine yet tired smile at that.

“You can go to sleep, it’s okay,” She said.

That was the first time I was actually able to fall asleep and without medicine or having to go on a walk or do anything really. 

I woke up in the bed alone only to find Olivia sitting at her kitchen island eating spaghetti. 

She smiled when she saw me coming into view. 

“Sleep well?” She asked.

“Yeah surprisingly,” How long had I been asleep for I wondered.

“It’s 10 pm,” She said, still being able to read me. 

I made my way over to her and sat across her.

“So what’s really going on with you miss Y/N?” She questioned. 

I shrugged “I don’t know, nothing,”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself? Cause I’m not buying,” 

I explained to her how my dad was being weird and how I wanted to move out now. How I had pretty much vandalized the house. How I found the video of my mom. Just everything. Well maybe not everything I didn’t tell her about Vulture because I feel like she’d try to do something and I didn’t want her to get hurt. 

“Oh wow, damn... holy shit. Are you gonna watch your moms video?” She asked. Huh I hadn’t thought about that.

“I mean of course I will, yeah,” I nodded “Probably, I don’t know I’m scared,”  

“Wouldn’t you rather just push the fear back and watch then wonder the rest of your life what it says.” 

I sighed. Can't argue with that logic.

“I’m assuming you came here because you need a place to stay?” She said. 

“Yes, I need a place to stay just for a while but I don’t want it to seem like I’m just using you I can find somewhere else,” 

“Now it’s fine stay as long as you need but my dad gets back at the end of the month and we both know he doesn’t like you,” She chuckled at the last sentence and I laughed too. 

I was on the ferry heading towards Staten Island now. I knew the sale was for these weird alien shits but that's pretty much all I knew. I figured I’d sort of “out bid” the buyers then get rid of everything. By outbid I mean straight up steal. Some guy in a white pickup truck is officially my target. Thorn was still on hiatus. Meaning no knives unless you count the pocket knife I always had on me, no suit. I did have a trejo though, you know just in case. I couldn’t help my mind from drifting to Pop Smoke’s “I got it on me”. I let out a small laugh.  

I was hiding behind some car waiting for a crack in the plan to slip in. 

That was until Spiderman showed up. It’s like he had a sixth sense to ruin all of my plans. 

Shit 

Well abort mission. Just as I started walking around to get to the side of the boat. The van I was next to had Vulture literally coming out of it. I knew it’d looked familiar. 

I made it up to the top deck looking down on everything unfolding. So a quick rundown,  the FBI was here, meaning Tony Stark or someone with government clearance probably did something because I highly doubt that Spiderman, the Spiderman that I’ve seen hit a window like a bird while swinging, had any government clearance. 

See now I was looking to find a good time to make my escape. That was until that purple alien shit started spewing stuff beams of light through the ship. And fuck, I look away for one second and the new Shocker guy was gone. I turned around and saw he was running in another direction. I chased after him the rubber of my sneakers squeaking on the deck. 

I jumped down onto Shocker’s back sending us both to the floor before he pushed me off. I was definitely going to be sore tomorrow and I’m pretty sure I heard something pull in my leg. 

He jumped off onto the Vulture and I knew I couldn’t do anything anymore. Not like I was just going to shoot them down in public. I saw the light shooting down the middle of the ferry. I was gonna make a run for it but the loud squeal noise was so loud I fell over. Soon I was slung back into what I think was a bench not entirely sure I just knew it hurt like a bitch. 

I’m pretty sure I feel unconscious for like 30 seconds. 

But that was enough because the boat had already split in half and I couldn’t get to the deck or a lifeboat. However Spider-Man was frantically trying to get it together. 

I was trying to be hopeful because everything was looking up, as the parts of the ship got closer together but I think we all know the saying ‘what goes up must come down’ 

Over the ringing in my head I could assume that things were fixed because people were cheering. One thing that comes from cheering is movement and if I learned anything from the elevator it’s that moving in a very unstable metal death box is not a good idea. 

The ship was falling apart again until it wasn’t. It was pushed back together by I could only assume would be our government clearance guy Tony Stark. I looked out the window and yep there he was. 

As soon as I got on solid ground I called my sisters.

“Hiii!” I exclaimed. “Where are you, are you okay?” 

“Yes we’re fine, and where at grandma’s house like you told us to go to where else would we be,” I could almost hear the eye roll in Liyah’s voice. 

“Okay little Miss attitude stay there until I can feel everything out with dad,” 

“Alright,” 

“Okay I love you guys,” I said, getting a small “love you too” from Sapphire. 

“I know,” was the response I got from Liyah. I almost gasped the audacity of this child. 

“Say it back,” 

“Say it back,” She mocked, evoking laughter from both sides of the call. 

“Okay love you too byeeee,” She said hanging up. 

I smiled, I know as much as we get into petty arguments or try to annoy each other on purpose but I’d go to hell and back for those girls. And that’s exactly what I was going to do.

Taglist: 

@tomdiddlyumptious

[katsumox]

different kinds of theory, dw. scientific, economic and political. yeah, indie music is nice- i've got a bunch in my playlist. coincidentally, artic monkeys and current joys are at the top of aforementioned playlist. what kind of music do you listen to? pageants sound chill tbh -tsukishima k.

that’s so interesting!!! i literally listen to everything, but the main stuff is indie music, riot grrrl/punk stuff (like dazey and the scouts, bikini kill, etc) rap music and music from the musical heathers. i listen to A LOT of stuff💀 what’s ur favorite song rn?

[spir1tfar3r]

Oh, are we playing top 5 with you? If we are top 5 favourite songs?

I mean we can—

E-girls are ruining my life - CORPSE

Bitch Came Back - Theory of a Deadman

Breath - Breaking Benjamin

I will not bow - Breaking Benjamin

Why do you only call me when your high - Artic Monkeys

[shit-talk-turner]

I prefer artists that release music when they believe they have created something good. I don’t mind waiting years for the next album, as they are true to their craft and don’t put out mediocre songs every 6 months to keep themselves relevant. Look at Kate Bush as a prime example. I’m unsure about Louise though as the time to release a first album and a next one, is more than Artic Monkeys and Kate put together. It should be a classic with my theory lol

You’re not wrong, but being able to do that is a privilege earned when the music you do release is good enough that it provides you with an income, a reputation, a fanbase, the opportunity to play live. AM can take their time — they’re already established. Someone like Louise, with one album that flopped, no money and no fanbase, can’t afford to sit on new material waiting for perfection if she wants a music career.

[michaelburnnham]

shaw and thirteen for the ask meme

shaw

favorite thing about them: everything

least favorite thing about them: nothing

favorite line: “Our guy just went from blue blood to hipster faster than you can say ‘ironic facial hair.’”

brOTP: mayhem twins!!

OTP: that’s. that’s not even a question. her and root lmao.

nOTP: anyone who isn’t root

random headcanon: nothing off the top of my head bc it’s been too long since I properly thought about this show and its characters

unpopular opinion: uhhh idk

song i associate with them: I suppose “do I wanna know” by artic monkeys because I say it in a shoot fan vid and that’s all I can think of

favorite picture of them: these two

thirteen

favorite thing about them: EVERY GODDAMN THING

least favorite thing about them: the fact that she's not real

favorite line:

Graham: Pack it in, you ain't Banksy!

Thirteen: Or am I?

brOTP: her tardis team

OTP: her and either river or missy

nOTP: her and rose. cute in theory, but overall just no. rose is off living her best live with tentoo. plus the way I've seen some rose stans act about 13/rose is just kinda annoying to be honest.

random headcanon: she plays with her sonic screwdriver a  l o t

unpopular opinion: I don’t headcanon her as a lesbian like a lot of other people do. like, overall the doctor has been hinted at being pan enough that I can’t see thirteen as a lesbian

song i associate with them: all I got rn is the macklemore song “glorious” that was in the second trailer for the season esp bc I watched it so many times

favorite picture of them: the fact that i’m expected to limit this is homophobia at its finest. I’m just gonna say these two gifsets

[ryebreadpool]

musical theory

Here I will describe the three main classifications of modern music based on my own personal criteria. I have seen quite a bit of discourse surrounding these categories so I thought I would step in and cast my opinion: a bop: This is any song that causes an influx of positive emotion. A bop can make one stand up and start dancing, even if they haven't had a good day preceding the song. ("Give Me Your Hand (Best Song Ever)" by The Ready Set is one such for me) a banger: Would you make out with someone with this song in the background? If the answer to this question is anything but a yes, the song in question is not a banger. These are typically love songs, but there are no solid limitations. (For an example, try "Quantum Immortality" by Crywolf) a jam: This is a sort of miscellaneous category, somewhere between a bop and a banger. Jams tend to have a more aesthetic leaning as opposed to a personal one, and do not have to be upbeat or romantic. (A favorite of mine is "Die Young" by Sylvan Esso) However, not all music fits neatly into these three categories. For some reason, songs by Artic Monkeys always seem to land on an intersection of the three, and musical theater is generally just so emotionally confusing that it flies off the musical grid. Fusions of these genres are very prevalent, but one must really focus on the atmosphere and emotions generated by the song. For example, the cover of "Thousand Years" by Sawyer Fredericks gave me some grief, but I reluctantly classified it as a banger due to its romantic undertones. Halsey tends to walk the line between a banger and a jam. Happy listening! Also remember that these definitions rely on my own opinion.

[relativelyn0rmal]

I did a not depressed thing

I made my username outta the first letter of song titles, all by different artists; it was fun tbh

•Red Light Indicates Doors are Secured - Artic Monkeys

•Elvis Presley in America - U2

•Live it up - Mental As Anything

•Amazing - Alex Lloyd

•Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper

•I Just Gotta get a Message to you - The Bee Gees

•Voices - Rev Theory

•E-Bow the Letter - R.E.M.

•Lego House - Ed Sheeran

•You Talk Too Much - Run DMC

•Never Gonna Give you up - Rick Astley

•Orange Blossom Special - Johnny Cash

•Rainbow Connection - Kermit the Frog 🐸

•Mean to me - Crowded House

•Angels - Robbie Williams

•Let's Dance - David Bowie