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cynthiaerxvo · 27 days ago

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don't read the last page || cynthiana

who - ariana grande, cynthia erivo. || @ariianaz where - the londoner hotel, london england. when - new year's eve, december 31, 2024 what - after a masquerade new year's eve bash, ariana and cynthia have a revealing moment alone to ring in 2025. triggers - n/a

cynthia e. new year’s eve - the day that everyone looks forward to after a long, more often draining than not, busy year. that’s the case for cynthia, but not because the year’s been too much to handle or unexpectedly difficult. instead, she finds herself looking forward to the big celebration simply because of who she’s celebrating with. ariana had flown into london a few days before, and while they both still buzz with the excitement of the year past and the new year ahead, cynthia finds herself savouring every spare moment of their time together. they’d had so much of it this year - but who even could foretell what was in store going forward? all the brit knew was that she wanted to make every second of it last, to make it memorable for both of them, in any case.

so she’s glad that the extensive planning and reservation-making paid off for tonight. they’re at one of the most lavish, five-star hotels in all of london, having completed a stunning three-course meal in a ballroom attached to this masquerade ball with already plenty of champagne in their systems. it’s a couple hours off to midnight, she thinks, but cynthia isn’t as vigilant to the time as she should be. she’s been too busy stuck to ari’s side, keeping their glasses filled and dancing to the music that the dj has chosen for the night. her experience is important to the actress, because as low stakes as this is, she’s determined to make sure her friend has an excellent time in her hometown. despite how sour the word ‘friend’ feels in her mind, even after all this time - but cyn’s accepted it. they’re friends. friends who may have agreed to kiss at midnight should they not find a different option, maybe, but that didn’t have to mean anything to the blonde the way it meant to her.

in a tight red and black dress, her usual stiletto heels, and an ornate maroon feathered eye mask, cynthia shakes the thoughts of the midnight countdown (and everything it could have in store) from her mind and dances her way back through the crowd with two more flutes of champagne in hand. she hopes, deep down, god, that nobody’s approached the singer in the time she’s been away. that’s where the masks have come in handy, as well as the hefty price of admission to get into a party such as this one. it’s maybe a more selfish thought than could be expected, but sharing the younger woman’s attention is something she doesn’t want to do tonight - or any night. “hey,” she grins once she has eyes on ariana and approaches, holding the glass out between two pinched fingers, “i thought i’d lost you amongst the tall people at this shindig.”

ariana g.

since the arrangement was made, little has sat on ariana’s mind ever since. there had fortunately still been enough press to keep cynthia close and, yet, the brunette was near certain no amount of time could ever be enough. so, when the idea of new years’ had become a topic of discussion, ariana couldn’t think of any better way to ring in a both tumultuous and truly brilliant year other than by having her beautiful best friend by her side.

best friends, she insists to herself. because that’s all this is, and that’s fine.

she thinks back to all the high school sleepovers, kissing friends and chalking it all up to ‘just because.’ perhaps this wasn’t all that unlike those times; she was older and more self-aware, sure, but age didn’t automatically mean newfound meaning. ariana shoos further thoughts away with a flick at a flyaway strand of her own blonde hair, adjusting the black and gold mask that seems to simultaneously conceal and illuminate her features. she’s in her new little black dress, as promised, and hopes she makes a good impression on one partygoer in particular.

her head is reeling, fueled by champagne and the glitz and glamour of the ambiance; she’s nearly entranced by the decadence of it all when that thick accent she’d know anywhere breaks through any illusions. “hi,” ariana whispers, suddenly nervous and schoolgirlish upon settling her gaze on cynthia’s features for the first time in a few moments. she reaches for the glassware that the actress offers, cheeks warming as their hands touch — and it won’t dawn on her until days later that it’s actually not the alcohol flushing to her face. “thank you,” she says first, clinking her flute gingerly against cynthia’s, “for this. and for all of this, really — and for making sure i’m not lost in this sea of preposterously vertically inclined humans. i’m glad we’re doing this.” whatever this is.

cynthia e. cynthia is quick to brush away the thanks, because it feels wholly unnecessary in the grand scheme of it all. ariana’s gone and followed through with one of her bright ideas, and has shown up looking radiant as ever, and that feels like thanks enough for the evening. she’s become an expert at finding the little bits of things to be grateful for scattered throughout the big picture, anyway. finding the enough in whatever was still floating between them without asking for anything more, her pride be damned.

“it’s really a tall country of people, isn’t it?” she teases, because that gene also skipped over her despite being born here, “but i’m glad that you’ve yet to get lost here. i’d always find a way to find you.” the singer lets her glass momentarily rest against ari’s after the brief clink, before she’s pulling it up to her lips for another sip. it’s been an overwhelmingly positive evening, from not being bothered under the guise of the masks, to getting to end the year with the woman who’d made the last few years as magical as they were. cynthia’s so thrilled about it all, evident in the big smile that follows when she rests the champagne flute against her chest. “i’m glad we’re doing it, too. i’m glad you flew all the way out here again, there’s…really no other way i could imagine wrapping up this year without you.”

as unbothered as they are by the folks around them, it is getting a little bit more congested in the ballroom with people rushing to and fro about the imminent big ben chiming and fireworks that would occur once the clock struck midnight. so cynthia steps forward, leans over to the blonde’s ear as a means of making sure she hears her over the music and the crowd. “do you want to go check out the patio? get some air?”

ariana g. the blonde tries to distract herself from the way cynthia lips ghost the rim of her glass but, for reasons unbeknowst to the actress, it's all she can focus on. the clink of their flutes is instagram-worthy, worthy of the year the two have had, and everything in between -- it feels like the icing on the cake (even if the cliché itself makes ariana's stomach lurch in a silly way), all things considered. the manicured fingers of her free hand move to skim the outline of her black and gold mask, still tactfully adorning her features. that same hand then reaches out for cynthia's arm -- looking for her touch the same way she does in every room -- and offers a small, telling squeeze. "i do, too," she breathes, perhaps maybe a bit too much weight in it for such a simple moment. "always look for you."

the feeling is so beyond mutual, and ariana's smile and slight rosiness of her complexion are giveaways of such. "any other new year's plans would simply have been unacceptable." ariana isn't sure what the clock says now, but it's likely nearing twelve -- given that the accommodations have become far more busy. the warmth of cynthia's breath in such close proximity sends a shiver dancing down the blonde's spine, a definitive contrast from the chill london air. "that sounds perfect," she murmurs with a gentle nod of her head. "lead the way?" she asks, extending her hand for the other actress to take.

cynthia e. the agreement to head outside for a moment, while expected to a certain degree since parting is something the two of them rarely do at this point, brings a bigger smile to cynthia’s face. she nods gently to ari’s question and slips her hand into the singer’s without any hesitation or effort to look for it. it’s become so second-nature, to be in contact in one way or another over the past few months, that it almost feels like cynthia’s entire being is magnetized to the blonde’s. there’s no need to feel like she’s blindly looking for the touch of a hand that she knows is hers on some level. maybe not to the extent that she wants it, craves it, but it’s enough and it has to be. she reminds herself of that as she leads ari out of the crowd and to a more secluded, quieter space outside.

she shuts the glass door of the patio behind her once they both step outside, onto a balcony that shoots off from the ballroom and looks out over central london. they’re just high enough to see the top third of the london eye, just past the thames, and look out to a city that feels just as electrified as the energy pulsing between the two of them. with a little bit more privacy, cynthia breathes out a sigh of relief. “alone at last.” she teases, taking a sip of the last bit of champagne in her glass and abandoning it on a table near the door. with a long, languid stroll to the railing, she looks over at her friend and gives her a once over. “you really do look breathtaking tonight.” cynthia adds, her voice laced with a shyness that even surprises her. she’s so curious about her own feelings, even more so about the other woman’s, that she can’t stop the lighthearted question that follows. “were you fighting off the swarms of people who want to be your midnight kiss while i fetched the champagne? i bet you were.”

ariana g. ariana's hand tightens subconsciously as cynthia weaves the two of them through the sea of partygoers, thumb running across the other actress's the same way she's done a million times. her mind tempts her once again to think that maybe, just maybe, there was something there -- but she resigned herself to the statistical unlikelihood of such an earth-shattering revelation and settled for what she had, even if it may always feel as if she's sitting on the precipice of 'what if.' the scene that cynthia has painted before them, by this beautifully welcome change of scenery, is an impeccable sight. the heart of london is so alive, reborn on the cusp of the turning of a page to a new chapter. a new year. a new beginning.

and yet, ariana hoped this night would never end.

"thank god," the blonde whispers with a light giggle, partially in jest but simultaneously in overwhelming gratitude for their newfound privacy. "i was wondering if i'd ever be able to get you alone this evening." as cynthia polishes off what's left in her flute, ariana does the same with hers -- the cool bubbles in the glassware had made her hand uncharacteristically cold. she sets her flute down next to cynthia's and finds her against the railing, where the cityline is almost as stunning as the woman herself. the words that fall from cynthia's lips surprise ariana, for some reason -- though she's no stranger to the kind words of her co-star. "you're an angel, you know that? always have been." she grows inexplicably sheepish, her cheeks likely a very rosy complexion that is concealed only slightly by the dim lighting and embellishments on her mask.

"you're stunning, as always -- absolutely ravishing, cyn." one of her hands moves to rest on her left shoulder before it slides down her arm slowly. the comment is enough to encourage another light laugh. "please," she scoffs with a dismissive fluttering of her free hand. "if there's been a line of potential suitors, i've paid them no mind." she scrunches her nose up in a coy manner. "besides -- there's only about a half hour 'til midnight. that's not much time to turn my head when my mind feels like it's already made up."

cynthia e. it isn’t the warmest london night - cynthia is sure that one of those doesn’t even exist, frankly - but she’s set afire from the inside at every stray lingering contact from the blonde. and her focus is on very little else than the brown eyes that peek through the mask ari’s wearing, big and welcoming enough for her to drown in if she was willing to take the leap. was tonight the night for that? surely, leaving her feelings in 2024 wasn’t going to be an easy feat, but neither was voicing them aloud. the way the other actress is looking at her brings everything back up to the surface for cynthia, and her words help a lot.

“mmm,” cynthia hums curiously, playing along with the coy act that ari was putting on while her body tells a different story - a little step forward, goosebumps lining down her arm where delicate fingers trailed. she leans her other side against the railing, taking a moment to try to collect what’s little left of her thoughts before speaking again. “made up, hm? mine too.” she only breaks eye contact to look back out over the skyline. “seems like mine was made up before i even stepped in the building tonight. which is only…you know, a little startling.”

when she looks back at ariana, it feels like things are momentarily heavier in the silence that they’ve found, and cynthia figures that leaving those feelings unaddressed is worse than the possible outcomes of voicing them. “not bad startling, i should clarify. you are of great comfort to me, ari. but it’s also with great conviction that i made the decision to want to kiss you tonight, and that might be a reality neither of us are ready to confront.” there it is, the out that she’s ready to give ari if she’s not willing to venture out on that limb with her. cynthia’s already reassured herself that she wouldn’t. “you’ve gone through a lot this year, so it doesn’t have to mean more than it should…but it does to me. and i want to be transparent about that.”

ariana g.

the chill in the air dusts an additional layer of pink to the blonde's cheeks as she stays in close proximity to cynthia, unable to ever travel all that far. there's so much that's led up to this that ariana's a little afraid that she'll let her best friend down, that whatever's been painted in that pretty mind of hers just won't come close to the reality of what's before her. there was a part of that hesitance that was deeply rooted in ariana's psyche, maybe a little more at the forefront given the unexpected falling apart of her most recent relationship -- a story that cynthia knew all too well and heard snippets of over and over again while ari tried to pull herself together in between press appearances. she didn't want to ruin something so good. not again.

it's when cynthia utters those two words that ariana's tempted to take a small step back, not in desire to retreat but in sheer disbelief. "yours too, huh? even before tonight?" she asks, humming softly as her eyes narrow lightheartedly as her gaze studies the other woman's features in this particular lighting. "that's a relief. i mean, i absolutely would've taken a heel off and shoved the stiletto in the direction of anybody who came close, but i was hoping i wouldn't have to make a scene." there's a glimmer in her eye as she pauses, just for a beat. "well, not one of that kind anyway."

listening to cynthia speak, ariana is overwhelmed with the desire to cut her off there with the kiss -- to tell her this isn't some huge leap they're making when she's been feeling this way for longer than she would care to admit in the current moment -- but there's only a bit of time left 'til twelve, so it would have to wait. she would have to wait, just for another few more agonizing minutes. "i get it," she eventually murmurs, reaching for one of cynthia's hands while her gaze drops to her own two feet. "good startling."

she takes a deep breath, knowing that once this conversation has been shared that there's no going back to the way things were, so to speak. there'd always be this unspoken acknowledgement of what happened tonight, and there was no way to predict what would happen from here -- what they would do, how they would act, and how things could change. and that was, perhaps, what terrified ariana the most. "you are absolutely ridiculous," ariana murmurs, the glimmer of a single tear welling in the corner of one eye. "of course it would mean something. in fact, it would make the past several months of my life make far more sense. it would mean everything."

cynthia e. the idea of ariana causing any kind of scene at someone approaching cynthia tonight had her smiling wider, because it’s an adorable visual that she wholeheartedly believes. she can’t say much about ari being tiny but mighty, they both are, but it’s endearing in a way that helps her swallow the lump that’s formed in her throat. “you could take on anyone,” cynthia nods with conviction between short giggles, “you’d strike fear in anyone’s hearts who even came close.” there’s so much she wants to say, so much she feels at the thought of a knight-in-shining-armor bit that cynthia chooses to take a metaphorical step back and observe. every bit of body language from the blonde, every glance is followed by the brit, desperate to know if she feels the same way somehow.

it’s the silent understanding that ariana does that has cynthia reeling, because it’s everything to the older woman that there’s a semblance of reciprocation. she’s spent months trying not to indulge herself in thinking any further of what things were, especially when ariana was taken for a majority of the year. they were both trying to be content with how things were, grateful that they could experience all the hype for the film together as friends. but the nagging feeling that they could be more, that they could make it work if they both really tried, had kept cynthia yearning for the chance to try.

“okay,” she quietly replies, giving the hand in hers a short, reassuring squeeze, “good.” she doesn’t know how much longer she has, or how much longer she’s going to be able to stand it, but she catches the sounds of cheering and spares a glance back inside the glass patio doors. one of the giant screens shows that they’re in the last stretch of the minute. “i don’t know about you,” cynthia starts, separating their hands for a brief moment so she can reach up and around to delicately untie the little ribbon keeping the mask on ari’s face, “but i want to see you for this. if that’s alright.”

ariana g. the mere seconds between now and midnight have ariana feeling like she might explode. her heart pounds vigorously against the confines of her chest, the sound so deafening to the blonde she's convinced the brit can hear it, too. "anything for you," she whispers, so soft and certain -- like the words uttered are a promise she's keeping. there had been many moments over the past year that the simple motion -- cynthia's squeeze at her hand, whose touch she'd know anywhere -- had grounded her, but it was far more substantial in this moment when she needed her feet to stay planted upon the earth more than ever.

the cheers either amplify or still the noise in her head; ariana can't quite tell. she frowns at the separation of their hands, sad empty spaces between her fingers where cynthia's had been -- and often were. however, those big brown eyes brighten when cynthia's hands move to the back of ariana's head to find the satin that holds her mask over her eyes. "of course," she nods, suddenly sheepish again, and dips her head down just a bit to allow cynthia easier access. once the mask is loose enough, ariana takes it into her two hands delicately and runs her fingers along the lace before looking back up at cynthia through long lashes.

she sets it to the side carefully, feeling incredibly vulnerable with her uncovered face now illuminated softly in the light of the moon. ariana moves back toward cynthia, her own fingers finding the tie to the other woman's mask to mirror her actions. "before this year ends," ariana teases, the corny but fitting phrase falling from her lips with ease as she loosens the bow at the back of cynthia's head. "thank you for seeing me -- like really seeing me -- and for making my day so many days this year. i couldn't be more grateful to be ending this one and starting the new one... with you."

cynthia e.

it’s such a tender touch to undo the satin and have the younger woman stood in front of her in all her glory, and cynthia realizes that she doesn’t know or understand beauty before this moment. it was silly to know somebody for so long and still feel like her knees could turn to jelly just at the sight of them, but here she is - here they both are. it’s a comfortable quiet between them as ariana then reaches to undo cynthia’s mask with an equally delicate brush of her fingertips, brown eyes settled on the pair across from her. seconds later and her own mask is off, and manicured fingers take it and add it to the pile.

“of course.” she replies softly, glad to free up her hands again. the vulnerability of being face-to-face mirrors the years of their friendship in many ways - they’d emotionally undressed in front of each other often, especially over the last few months. and she’d give anything to continue to do so, even with less of a promise to see each other in between now and next fall, even with the uncertainty that follows this scenario. if it backfires, she’ll have to deal with that later, but for now, she’s lost in brown hues that she can see so much clearer now and her heart is pounding in her chest. surely worth any anguish later. “seeing you is the greatest privilege. thank you for looking deeper at me and…taking a chance.”

the crowd just behind the door to the patio has started chanting the countdown now, they can hear it through the glass, and that’s enough for cyn to delicately reach forward. one hand finds a spot against ari’s side, feeling the fabric under her palm and trying hard not to find it dizzying. her other hand brushes against the singer’s cheek, thumb skirting along a prominent cheekbone. as the time ticks down, and the older woman takes a short step forward, it feels all too perfect. the shouted numbers reach the final three, and just before the applause rings out and the fireworks go off, they’ve created some of their own - as cynthia closes that last tiny bit of distance to press her lips against ariana’s.

ariana g. she would be lying to say that this was the first time they've done this, but it's definitely the first time it's happened like this -- and ariana wants to commit this moment to memory but also never wants it to end. there's a newfound sense of how real this is with their masks off; there's nothing to hide the rosy color that dusts across the blonde's cheeks or the sheepish smile that has her dimples so profoundly on display.

"i should be thanking you for taking a chance," she murmurs, careful not to spoil a perfect moment with the chaotic innerworkings of her mind and her pesky inner monologue. "i'm not always the easiest pill to swallow, yet you make it look like the simplest thing in the world. i don't know how you do it." ariana feels unsteady almost, shaky on her feet, but her hands find cynthia's waist. she's grounded, yet again -- by her best friend, her confidant, and now... her almost new year's kiss. her thumbs graze the fabric carefully, admiring the stitching and the woman who wears the dress so well, when the countdown from ten begins and it's all happening faster than the actress can catch her breath.

ariana pulls cynthia closer as the numbers get lower, and everything in view is hazy except for her. she hums once cynthia's lips meet hers, and it is exactly how she expects it -- if not better. their mouths linger together through the cheers and hollers a few seconds more, and ariana only retreats reluctantly when she needs a quick breath of air. "happy new year, angel face," she beams, leaning back in for one more kiss. "you've already made mine."

#step by step from town to town ;; threads #ft. ariana g.#🩷💚 our BABIES

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