#arei vs antis

[areiton]

Imagine obsessively hating on Dylan O’Brien and mocking a real person’s trauma and life threatening accident just because you are still bitter that Dylan’s the star and breakout star of Teen Wolf and overshadowed your talentless fav Posey from day one without even trying... Scott McCall/Tyler Posey fan @noncanonfan (also known as @camelotpark) can relate

So I got this ask. And a few submissions that I’m not gonna share for two reasons. Bear with me, nonnie. 

1. I don’t want to share links to angry ramblings. I spent a bit of time--not a lot cuz it’s ridiculous--on noncanonfan’s tumblr last night and look--they’re literally just shouting into the void. There’s no responses. There’s no interactions. And there’s no reason to give them that. DOB is doing just fine, bless his quirky little self, and the best way to shut up haters is to not bother giving them a voice to begin with. So I’m not gonna share those posts for that reason. 

2. I really really need positive stuff on this tumblr. Nonnie, my darling, my dear, my friend. Send me pics of DOB with puppies or with anyone who isn’t Posey. Send me fic recs and head canons and gifs. Send me ‘omg i miss you in this fandom what do you think about lydia and allison opening a detective agency’ (i miss it too, and that’s fucking badass and we were robbed). But the posts about scott-stans and antis are really not my jam. It’s 2020. My kid is in the hospital. My other two are in quarantine for covid. Let’s ignore the trashfire stans, stop wasting our time on their hate, and focus on some positive, k? 

This goes for all of you, dear readers! Please feel free to fill up my inbox with prompts and nonsense and your shitty days and what you had for lunch (I’m having the most delicious chai coffee) because I truly lOVE hearing about the good things and your lives. 

[areiton]

Friendly reminder:

*Block content you dont want to see

*Ship and let ship

*Tag responsibly

*Curate your own internet/fandom experience

*Try to find joy in fandom, instead of dwelling on hate.

*You can't control other people and their fandom experience/shipping preferences, so don't try.

*Problematic ships don't equal problematic people.

[areiton]

It's April, which means flowers and rain and antis frothing at the mouth that people voluntarily give money to a site that they use, for no other reason than the site put a banner up about their fundraiser.

It's April, which means green grass and bunny rabbits and my faith in fandom being restored despite actual fucking idiots ranting in their corners.

I fucking love April.

[areiton]

Can a single anti please show me the child who was harmed by shipping?

Just--I want to see someone who was hurt by shipping. 

Not by trauma that is triggered by a ship--be careful and protect yourself, but not the internet’s fault if you aren’t. 

Not by making stupid decisions that were ‘influenced by a ship’--if you’re young enough this is happening, fandom is prolly not where you need to be. 

Not by a predator who met them in fandom--don’t blame fandom for bad people doing bad shit. 

By shipping. 

Because if you’re gonna say this shipping is harming children--I’m gonna call bullshit. And then I’m gonna say--show me where. 

Disliking something? Doesn’t make it harmful. 

[areiton]

So I just saw a Iron Man bingo thing. 

Which was apparently created specifically because the current Tony Stark bingo allows properly tagged Starker. 

And you know--that’s ok. It doesn’t bother me that some antis created an event specifically to avoid a certain kind of content. That is curating the internet experience they want, so good job, kiddos. 

What annoys me? Is that they also want their followers to scold the original bingo for allowing things they disagree with. 

Kiddos. That? Is not curating the internet experience you want. It’s annoying and harassment and just childish. Which--I know, you’re all about protecting the children, but like. 

As a person who entered fandom (an age ago) as one of those mystical ‘children to be protected’ and now, as a mother of one of those ‘to be protected’ fandom children, and as a problematic shipper, I want to just go ahead and say--

Starkers aren’t the problem. Problematic ships aren’t the problem. People who make other people’s internet their moral responsibility is the problem, kiddos. 

Mind your business and let others do the same. You were doing so good and you had to go and ruin it. 

[areiton]

I read this post (it’s long but so good, friends) and it got me thinking. 

I was 10, I wandered into the adult section of the library for the first time, and Courtney, my favorite librarian and (looking back) a high school student, handed me Stephen King. An older librarian swooped in and plucked it from my hands, and steered me back toward the Babysitter Club, and I grabbed a book called Lace because it was near the kid’s section and big and I was only allowed to take one book on our family vacation--for a girl who read two or three books a day, that was tantamount to torture. 

Sometimes I wonder if Brenda, the nice protective older librarian realized that King’s Salem’s Lot was a lot less impactful than Lace and the themes of incest and sexual violence I spent the entire drive to Texas devouring. 

But we’ll never know, and for a few more years, I didn’t peruse King.  

I was 14 the first time I heard about Harry Potter. And at the time--I was knee deep in the Kushiel Trilogy. But the one I was told I wasn’t allowed to read? Harry Potter. Kushiel, with it’s thick dense pages and lush sexuality and homage to BDSM--that was fine. A boy in a closet learning the power of love? Not so much. 

Sometimes I wonder if my mom would have stopped me, if she’d actually read the first few pages, or if she realized that two decades later, both series sit on my bookshelves, but only one is tattooed on my body, only one tugs at me, who I am as person. 

But we’ll never know, and for a few more years, I didn’t read Potter. 

When I was 13, my parents wouldn’t let me or my brothers watch Saving Private Ryan, because of the graphic violence. They wouldn’t let me watch Braveheart because of the sex scene. 

That was fine. I curled up with a series of historical fiction that detailed the lush, exotic life of Cleopatra and her lovers, read all about the battle and executions and killings in Rome with Colleen McCullough’s Master of Rome series, read about Alexander and Hephstation fighting and fucking in an ancient dusty book I still wish I had a copy of--and missing Saving Private Ryan and Braveheart didn’t bother me. 

I wonder, sometimes, what my parents would have done, if they realized how very little I cared about what media I wasn’t allowed to consume because I had everything I wanted and no one paid any attention. 

The point of this is--censorship doesn’t work. Kids are gonna read what they want, they’re gonna partake in the media they want. Take away what you think is gonna hurt them, and they’re still gonna find something comparable or worse. 

And in the end--it’s ok. It’s ok. Those kids--they’re gonna be ok. I am ok. No one was hurt in the making of this adult. Trying to shelter me actually hurt me worse than monitoring and talking would have but that’s a story for a different day. 

I say this as a parent who gives her kids pretty free rein over their media consumption--censoring doesn’t work. Talking to them? Discussing what they’re watching and sometimes saying, hey this might be something we need to wait on for a bit? That works. Or it’s working for me. 

Antis need to stop trying to shelter these kids they think they’re protecting, and maybe realize they aren’t pretty dolls on a shelf somewhere who shouldn’t ever experience life--they’re real people with real interests and a real world they will have to interact with. Let them do it. Let them do it in a space that safe and has guidance.  

[areiton]

PSA for Antis

When you send hateful 'omg you're writing <insert whatever you dislike>' asks? It makes us want to write MORE of it. To write it darker and dirtier, if for no other reason than fuck you.

You are achieving the opposite of your desires, kiddos. Cut it the fuck out.

[areiton]

Ew. Imagine comparing an actual hero and a canonically gifted, complex neurodiverse character of Polish origins to mass murderers and crime lords just because you are an ableist piece of rancid trash who’s still pathologically jealous and butthurt over Teen Wolf fans and viewers preferring actually compelling fictional characters over your badly written and portrayed fave True Privileged ManChild & Shitty, Entitled White Boy Scott McCall: https://princeescaluswords.tumblr.com/post/185186369205/so-about-endgame-more-specifically-tonys-rant

Privileged ManChild & Shitty, Entitled White Boy princeescaluswords and his gross delusional squad buddies can relate.

Arei: I can’t bother to argue with them right now. Because here’s the thing--if they watched that scene and came away with those feels, arguing with them won’t do anything. It’s pointless. Here’s my thought, sweet nonnie. I won’t argue with folks who dislike a character. You aren’t required to like Tony Stark or Stiles Stilinski or Peter Hale. I don’t like Steve Rogers (MCU canon Rogers, fanon and comics Rogers isn’t so bad) and I expect some people prolly would take issue with my ‘he’s an entitled self-righteous asshole who needs to go to therapy and figure out what gaslighting is’ stance. But! That’s my opinion and I generally keep it to myself because this is my happy place. (To be fair, Tony is ALSO a entitled asshole who needs therapy and to stop manipulating those around him. Neither are perfect--no one in the MCU is. That’s what I like about it) 

I don’t care if PEW or whoever the fuck else doesn’t like my favs. I care when they shove their moral standards--which constantly shift and only they get to decide--on other people and their writing. Censorship offends me. And PEW and all the rest can say they don’t advocate censorship--but they do. 

But disliking a character? Sure, go for it. I think they’re all batshit and can’t follow a story or subtext to save their damn lives, but hey--their choice. If you can watch Endgame (or all of the MCU) and walk away thinking Tony didn’t pay a price for things? Well, fuck, me shouting on the internet isn’t gonna do anything, you are an actual idiot. 

(Tony is Polish?? I thought he was Italian? Someone halp--what’s our boy’s heritage?) 

[areiton]

ugh, scott mccall delusional squad members russianspacegeckosexparty and princeescaluswords are currently harassing a queer black woman and teen wolf writer just because she doesn't worship their personal fav and writes *AMAZING* sterek fics instead of scott mccall centered ones like they demand her to. and i... i am beyond disgusted by antis' toxic, abusive behaviour tbfh. they stay literal trash

I’ve seen a lot of Scott McCall nonsense and anti bullshit and general discussion over on @thisdiscontentedwinter tumblr–if anyone wants a recap, she does a much better job dealing with their nonsense than I do. 

Here’s the problem with anti behavior. In their need to defend a fictional character–they hurt real people. Right now it’s a black woman. In the past, they’ve accused me (a Lantix woman) of being racist. Their logic is–well, laughable and shouldn’t be called logic because it’s a disservice to the word. 

And frankly, they’re boring. It’s the same goddamn argument every time. We’re racist because we think other people are better at some things than Scott. We’re abusers because we think villains deserve redemption arcs. We’re blah blah blah bullshit. We’re horrible naughty very bad people who need to rethink our wicked ways.

It’s the same argument ad naseaum and it’s frankly, boring. And gross. You want to come up with new material, squad, or you want to, idk, use actual logic and not just rambling nonsense that makes no sense (have any of y’all actually attempted to read Camel or Pew’s posts? They’re actually nonsense) come back and we’ll talk. Until then–go write fic or something. 

Why can’t we all just live and let live with fandom, ffs. 

[areiton]

I just saw a post condemning Starker and Thorki and comparing them to Sterek (???) and Wincest.

And like, Wincest isn't a hardcore ship of mine, but the other three, yeah, I'm here for.

(I don't know why Sterek is on this person's list. SOMONE CHIME IN.)

So apparently my type is problematic ships and I give exactly zero shits.

Ship and let ship, y'all. Don't like it? Ignore it. But leave people who aren't hurting anyone alone. Jesus.

[areiton]

So, Starker fam, @irondadgroupie is getting a bunch of hate and unfollows because of a Starker positive post. Maybe give 'em a follow if you can. And honestly, screw the antis.

[areiton]

As entertaining as arguing with antis is...

I'm gonna go hang out with my kids at a wedding. And maybe I'll write something problematic in my downtime.

[areiton]

Guys. Look. I love y’all and I LOVE talking about fic and fandom and meta and headcanons. I love it. 

But. 

PLEASE. Stop sending me wank. 

I don’t want to argue with antis about why their fav character is awesome or not. I’m not gonna make anyone change their mind. Moreover--I don’t care to change anyone’s mind. 

I don’t care if someone thinks Scott McCall is the best thing since sliced bread or loathes Tony Stark. I stay outta their tags for a reason. 

I only care when people start screaming censorship or try to silence authors and artists. If they aren’t? Just--send happy making stuff. Honestly. 

Right now I’m exhausted and I want my inbox to just--stop. Please help me out here, friends, cuz I like talking to y’all but I will always put myself and self-care first and if that means closing the inbox? I will. Let’s not make that necessary, k? 

Cool. 

[areiton]

Who is prince?

An asshole anti who likes to tell people they’re morally wrong because they don’t like his fave, Scott McCall. Or to tell them they’re racist, whichev. Apparently he’s got Starker on the radar for bad/wrong/don’t ship and I’m over here like, “kiddo, you need a hobby that isn’t so damn negative. Do you need fic? I feel like you need fic.”

[areiton]

Antis exhaust me?

Just got tagged by one who is actively looking for shit they don't like and like...friend, please make better choices with your life. Choose joy, you'll be so much happier.

And in the meantime, I'm gonna go write what they hate. Cheers and happy friday, friends.

[areiton]

Ok, so here’s the thing. I just (thank you so much, Mini) read a thing about how horrible MCU Tony is. 

Because he’s sexist and a war profiteer and a dick. 

And that’s awful, right? He’s awful. 

And look--I am the first to say, Tony is flawed. He is fucked up. 

He built an empire on weapons sales--wait, did he? Or did he inherit it and when he realized just how damaging it was, did he do everything he could, up to and including risking his life, to ensure his weapons never hurt people again? I feel like that’s the plot of Iron Man. 

He’s sexist! And like, yes. He’s a playboy. He likes sex and goes through women pretty quick, until he gets with Pepper. But being a playboy doesn’t = sexist. Making an incredibly competent woman your CEO isn’t the move of a sexist. 

He’s a dick!! Ok, yes. Yes he is. He’s arrogant and a dick and has a host of mental health problems and a problem with alcohol that is legitimately concerning and his actions while drunk in Iron Man 2 are downright cringe-worthy. 

But here’s where I disagree with antis. Because while they see that initial persona--the sexist war profiteer--and never see beyond that, I see a man who is dealing with a childhood marked with abuse and neglect, living up to a toxic masculinity that idolized a super solider. Something Tony could never ever be. I see a kid who grew up too fast, with too much pressure, growing up into a man with a fuckton of baggage, trying and succeeding to be better than the legacy his father and business partner chose for him. 

Tony is flawed. He is neurotic and has asshole tendencies and chemical dependencies, and he’s got an ugly face he shows the world in the beginning of the franchise. But he’s also the guy who wants to help Coulsen find a way to see his girlfriend, he’s the one who reaches out to Bruce on a science level, and tries to keep the Avengers together despite the fractures in Civil War. He’s the guy who wants to keep the world safe--who will fly a nuke into a wormhole knowing he might die, because it’ll save a city of innocents. The one whose first reaction every time he’s in danger is to check on people around him or Pepper. He’s the guy who tries to mentor the younger generation, despite the massive amount of daddy issues he’s got that had to make that terrifying. 

Tony is such a complicated character. 

He is flawed, but those flaws make him the hero he is, and the interesting character he is. 

But yeah, antis. Sexist war profiteer. You go with that.