#are the tumblr gays also going crazy for these old queens or is it just the twitter gays
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saw concalve. what flavour vape smoke do we think tedesco was blowing around the vatican
#conclave#are the tumblr gays also going crazy for these old queens or is it just the twitter gays#i have other feelings and thoughts but was in bed with a migraine for genuinely close to 20 hours lmao#and the sacramental vape was haunting me the entire time#also. being dean of the college of cardinals and stage managing a university drag show are eerily similar#this is a pointless text post
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Casual 911 watching roomie's thoughts on Performance Anxiety
right off the bat she's defensive against Pepa's blind date assault "he’s not alone he has a son and a husband!!!!"
Eddie saying "I can’t marry someone just cause you said so" - “that’s fucking gay”
Eddie telling the 118 about not wanting to perform for a date "you don’t have to perform for your husband"
"love that not a single one of them was excited about Eddie maybe dating"
bakery call: "Girl just call osha"
"omg starting an accidental union in the workplace??? Thats so us"
"imagine almost dying at work and going 'on my death bed I’ve decided to stan osha. I’m pro union now.'"
fire academy baby drill: "It’s a 6 month old. Check the fucking floor"
she really believed Novak could do it right from the get go. First and biggest Novak fan
turns out the baby WAS on the floor, everyone clap for our childcare professional queen who knows where a 6 month old baby can be found in the event of an emergency
Eddies date: "Eddie you are….gay"
"is he gonna make a FRIEND! that'd be fun"
"what if they become friends and then he sets her up with buck. tumblr would go crazy"
"WHAT ARE THESE FACES" about Ryans whole....thing
college audition panic attack call: "I wonder if JLH has singing in her contract"
"he just walked out of that stall like only a 17 year old twink can"
Eddies performance review: "I’m sorry is Eddie upset this girl he didn’t want dumped him"
"work life balance OKAY" ngl i feel like this comment was directed at me a little bit
"cap doesn’t wanna hear about how your dick doesn't work rn Eddie"
"I’m sensing the theme is safety, security, trust" when they're doing the harness exercise at the academy. was a joke but honestly....theres something there
"like seriously how many more times can chimney say secure"
"is Novak about to have a panic attack??? are we gonna get ANOTHER ONE???? is that thing i don’t know about, like are panic attacks a thing" you can imagine the face she made when I told her about the eddieana panic attacks
"I do wish his panic attack sounded less like sex grunts. but that’s just me. still love him"
bodybuilder call: "I’m sorry. is this not homoerotic? oh god its his DAD"
"this is the gayest thing I’ve ever seen"
"so dramatic of Angela Bassett to take the time to give a speech when this guy is dying. just say you'll arrest them if they cause a problem"
"oh a black woman carrying the whole place on her back what a surprise" she said respect black women
"Bobby just wants someone to say he’s doing a good job"
athena saying "that’s my husband" loudest laugh I’ve ever heard
She hates Nathaniel. Violently.
at this point she learned the episode is called “performance anxiety." "OHHHH that's not the theme I guessed"
She’s singing a fun trauma song @ the Ravi chim convo
"good acting Eddie. totally believable"
"YOU DIDNT HAVE A HUSBAND AND A CHILD AFTER YOU GOT DIVORCED, PEPA. leave him ALONE"
"the child of indeterminate age is having opinions" Jee is either the "plot device sleep schedule child" or this. she's really fixated on Jee
"She’s singing AGAIN? it HAS to be in her contract" about Maddie singing to Jee
"Novak is for sure joining the team when buddie are otherwise engaged. he's my new favorite."
She asked after if Buck has ever met Pepa ("she has to know about him right. why is she not asking about him") so I showed her Stuck and she saw Chris with Bobby and went "thats his grandpa :(" (i also had that moment earlier this week so im THRILLED she had the same thought) (although we've been talking a lot about bobby being bucks dad and buck being chris' dad the past few weeks) (yknow cuz the show won't shut up about it)
#I told her about what a shit show the spoiler situation was tonight so she turned up her commentary big time#she loves to entertain yall#roomie watches 911#911 spoilers
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Get out your glitter leotards and pour some champagne in your cat mugs! 🥂 🍾 It’s time to celebrate Freddie! 🎉😸
🎊 Freddie Mercury Weekend 2021 🎊
❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜
ABOUT THE EVENT
This weekend is a content creation event in honour of the man himself, the legend we all love, Freddie Mercury! Once more, everyone who is inspired by Freddie is invited to share their creativity with the fandom. You can write, draw, edit, record, even cross-stitch 😉 content for absolutely anything related to Freddie, any ship, any genre, any way you like. This is an indiscriminately inclusive, positive event. Everyone is welcome, there is no wrong way to be a fan of Freddie! (Except convincing yourself you're dating his ghost maybe. That's pretty wrong. And weird. Don't do that.)
WHEN? On the 21st, 22nd and 23rd of May.
HOW? On the above dates (or after!), post your contributions to the AO3 collection or alternatively on Tumblr, tagged ‘#fmw2021’ or/and ‘#freddie mercury weekend 2021’. If you post on Tumblr, please also tag @a-froger-epic to make sure you get a reblog from me!
❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜
THE PROMPTS
You can be as free with the prompts as you like. They are here to inspire, there is no wrong way to write them! Change them around, mix them up, make them fem!Freddie, A/B/O, add your favourite ship. Anything goes! 😊
21st of May - 500-1000 word challenge!
We’re kicking off the event with ficlets and drabbles. First time writer just testing the waters? No need for an epic, just write a scene! No time to write but you want to participate? Surely you’ll find time for 500 words! 😉 Interpret these mini-prompts however you like (every one is a separate prompt, but you can combine them!):
Make-Up 💄 | Pain/Pleasure 👀
Strip 👕 | Ring 💍
Forbidden 🤫 | Delilah 🐈
Piano 🎹 | Dormitory 🛏
Outrageous 🎉 | Contentment 😌
Come Together 🎇 | Ballet 🩰
Piece of Art 🎨 | Leather 🧥
Cockring 🐔 | Kimono 👘
Petals 🌸 | Leotard 🕺🏻
Mustache 🧔 | Last Time 😔
22nd of May - Is This The Real Life?
A list of real event/canon timeline prompts from Freddie’s life. How real you want to keep them, however, is entirely up to you!
Down in flames
Freddie is 16 years old when he leaves boarding school. Does it have something to do with the school gardener, Sanjay? Did he flunk his exams or did he not even sit them? Is one thing connected to the other? Does he really find a boyfriend when he goes to stay with his aunt in Mumbai (then Bombay)? Either way, there’s the small matter of his parents finding out about all of it... (Sources: x x )
When Freddie met Kenny
Freddie is a guest on Kenny Everett's radio show in spring 1974. Freddie is living with Mary, Kenny is married. Two gay men, deep in the closet. To no one's surprise, they hit it off immediately. (Source: x )
But when did he?
At some point during his relationship with Mary, prior to his relationship with David, Freddie had already begun sleeping with men. But how and when did that first happen? Cottaging in London? On tour somewhere in the world? Your guess is as good as ours…
Flying High
Sex, Drugs and Rock n' Roll. Like all rock bands of their time, Queen doesn’t escape the copious amounts of cocaine in the entertainment industry for long. Somewhere on tour in America, perhaps, Freddie is first introduced to it. Where? How?
Hide your tears
Jim said that he tried to be strong for Freddie and only cried in private, so as not to burden Freddie with his feelings. But this time, he is found.
One-liners:
In 1969, Freddie doesn’t know how to cook an egg and neither does Roger (Source: x )
In 1977, Freddie meets Joe while on tour in Boston and starts dating him behind David's back
In 1990, Brian and Freddie work on 'The Show Must Go On' (Source: x )
In a year of your choice, Jim reminisces about his fondest moment(s) with Freddie
In 1976, Freddie and Mary end their relationship
In 1984, Winnie gives Freddie a wedding ring (middle of the post: x )
In the late 60s, Freddie agrees to model for an Ealing Art School fashion show, but panics and flees the runway (Source: x )
In 1974, Freddie is strip-searched upon arrival in Australia (Source: x )
In 1982, Freddie and Roger go shopping in Amsterdam (Source: x )
In 1978, Freddie swings from a chandelier - naked (Source: x )
23rd of May - Is It Just Fantasy?
A list of AU prompts to spark your imagination. Take them and run with them or change them up, just have fun!
Make your dreams come true
Freddie hasn't been very fortunate in his life, until he finds a very special oil lamp, and rubs it just the right way.
Beautiful stranger
Freddie meets an alluring stranger at a masquerade ball, who has more secrets than he can hide behind a mask. But Freddie has some of his own.
Thicker than water
Freddie agrees to a dreadful fate in order to save his little sister from the very same. Fortunately, he has friends who are more than willing to help him, but can they? Or are they, too, in danger?
Diamonds are a boy's best friend
Freddie is the prized jewel of the court, a skilled belly-dancer and entertainer, but he may also be plotting murder and getting away with it.
Almost Real
In a distant future, humans have all but done away with face to face interaction. Humanity largely lives online. Children grow up isolated and live with only their families well into young adulthood. Cybersex is the new normal, although some families take a puritanical approach for fear of addiction. One day, impossibly, a real life young man falls through the containment field in Freddie’s back garden.
One-liners:
This plane is going to crash (Freddie knew there was a reason he hated flying)
Shipwrecked on an island (Freddie could never bear to be alone, but luckily/unfortunately for him…)
Hunger Games AU (Freddie is so dead)
A terrible road accident (Everyone is so dead, or are they?)
Blind Date AU (Freddie's best friend is so dead for setting him up with this person… or are they…)
Bank robbery (but who are the robbers and who are the hostages?)
Magic AU ("Yer a wizard, Freddie!")
Film Noir AU (Secrets and cigarette holders)
Interior Design AU (Does the carpet match the drapes?)
The Bodyguard AU (“And I will always love yooouuuu…”)
❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜
RULES & FAQ
⛔ Strictly No Hate ⛔
This is the NUMBER ONE RULE of the event, to ensure that everybody feels safe. No rudeness, provocations or hate aimed at creators or other commenters will be permitted, not on AO3 nor Tumblr.
Follow these steps if you receive a comment or ask that distresses you:
Do not engage. (You can take a screenshot as proof.)
Delete it. No ifs, no buts. Just delete it. (Don’t hesitate to block anon hate on Tumblr.)
Alert me ( @a-froger-epic ) or @aboutnothingness, who is lending me a hand to make sure all needs are attended, all questions are answered and everything runs smoothly. We are here to actively support you. We’ve got your back, and we will gladly talk to you and help you feel better.
If you choose to ignore this rule, your work may be removed from the event. We would hate to resort to that.
But what if one of the works has upset me?
Can the thing that upset you be tagged, but it wasn’t? Then please inform @a-froger-epic or @aboutnothingness, and we will bring it to the creator’s attention. (Remember to use the appropriate tags, everybody!)
Was the thing that upset you already tagged? Or is it perhaps simply the characterisation you find disagreeable? Then we suggest you click on the ‘back’ button, take a deep breath and remind yourself it's just fanfic.
Who can participate?
Anyone who is inspired by Freddie Mercury in any way shape or form. This event is open to all.
Can I combine prompts from different days?
By all means! We look forward to your futuristic Freddie-gets-kicked-out-of-boarding-school Maycury Film Noir AU. With leotards. Go crazy.
I'm not sure where my creation fits in, what day do I post it?
The days, like the prompts, are only suggestions. We don't mind when you post it, as long as you post it! Even if it's two weeks late!
Help, I've never posted fic before!
Don't worry, we've got you! (And more importantly, we've got AO3 invites!) @aboutnothingness is more than happy to walk you through the process of setting up an account and is also offering her services as a beta.
I’m still too nervous to participate!
You can post anonymously to the collection. You can disable anon comments on your work. You can disable comments entirely and just collect the kudos. You can close anon asks on Tumblr temporarily. But most importantly, we are here for you and we want you here!
❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜
“I love the fact that I make people happy, in any form. Even if it’s just half an hour of their lives, in any way that I can make them feel lucky or make them feel good, or bring a smile to a sour face, that to me is worthwhile.”
- Freddie Mercury
#Freddie Mercury Weekend 2021#FMW2021#freddiemercuryweekend2021#fandom event#Queen fandom#Freddie Mercury#it's here!#REBLOG REBLOG REBLO-
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Rating Total Drama ships that showed up when playing with the generator! (Pt. 6)
Beardo and Sierra (or Bearderra): Ah, yes. The extrovert and the introvert. Tale as old as time. Sierra kinda creeps me out but I love the idea of her simping for Beardo's beatboxing and audio fx skills. Rating: 7/10
Cameron and Tammy (or Cammy): I feel like this would be one of those relationships that would crumble fast after the honeymoon phase. Like I get that they're both nerds but I feel like there's only so much of the LARPers that Cameron would take. Rating: 5.5/10
Courtney and Sierra (or Courtnerra): So I know Sierra was 100% on Courtney's boat after the whole Gwuncan incident on TDWT (EVEN THO SHE SAID GWEN HAD A CRUSH ON DUNCAN SINCE TDI WHICH IS NOT TRUE-) so like. Idk. Maybe? Rating: 6/10
Gwen and Dawn (or Gwawn): I don't know why... But I also love this one. Of course, I prefer shipping Dawn with Gwen's cousin... Rating: 8/10
Heather and Ennui (or Heathnui): Heather and... a goth!? SAY IT AIN'T SO! Maybe her problem was just Gwen. Or maybe she was one of those "get out of my school" kinda gays... What were we talking about? Oh yeah, Ennui. He'd be in tune with Heather's darkness. I can dig it. Rating: 7/10
Josee and Sierra (or Joserra): Sierra's a crazy stalker fan. The Ice Dancers love their fans. So if Sierra were to get into ice dancing... Nothing is impossible is what I'm getting at, basically. Rating: 7.5/10
Max and Leonard (or Maxnard): The general consensus of Pakithew Island is that a lot of the characters feel like one-note architypes, and these two are usually examples of this. But that begs the question... Why weren't these two ever given the chance to interact? I feel like they'd actually be funnier as a pair because they're just two idiots working off of each other. Rating: 8/10
Samey/Sammy and Heather (or Samether): I like that the implication of Heather also feeling an unbreakable relationship towards Samey confirms that she's actually less toxic than Samey. Go off, Heather. Throw Amy off that volcano in the name of love. What a queen. Rating: 7/10
Scott and Ezekiel (or Scotekiel): Country boys? Horrifically treated by Chris? Assholes? IT MUST BE LOVE! Rating: 11/10
Scott and Sugar (or Scotgar): It's like that "country boy, i love you" vine and it makes more sense than Scottney. What more could you ask for? It'd be like Aleheather if they were both idiot savants. Rating: 9/10
Anyway, apparently I have to stop here because tumblr won't let me post more than ten images at a time even though I've done that before. It's not like these are all that good, anyway, so whatever.
#total drama ridonculous race#total drama pahkitew island#total drama revenge of the island#total drama#total drama action#total drama island#total drama world tour#total drama all stars#td dawn#td gwen#td sugar#td scott#td ezekiel#td sammy#td samey#td heather#td max#td leonard#td josee#td sierra#td courtney#td ennui#td cameron#td tammy#td beardo#Random Total Drama Ships
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I read Ruin and Rising because I’m bored
And I also hate myself
Like with the last book, I have a vague idea of the plot and stuff from tumblr and fanfics. I will also be refering to Darkling as Sasha for most of this.
I am still Darklina trash and don’t particularly like Mal.
On a different note, I’ve finally moved for college, but the internet here is trash, so I’ll probably have a lot more reading time now, since most games I play are online and will crash without internet.
Before
Cool story. Let’s hope Alina stays a badass.
Who am I joking, I know how this ends.
Chapter 1
So far so good. I hate the Apparat, per usual. Alina’s there basically dying and that bitch can’t wait to see her do so.
Cult leader to the core this one. He probably hates that his figurehead is alive and also not brainwashed.
Cult leader doesn’t like swearing. How surprising.
My boy David is completely right. What kind of irresponsible dingus keeps centuries old books in a fucking wet-ass cave? (Or a tree for that matter *cough cough* The Last Jedi *cough, cough*).
Genya is fun to be around.
Oh, shit, let’s go.
Chapter 2
Jesus Christ, Alina, Zoya isn’t that bad.
This is one hell of a shitshow.
I live for this version of Alina. Badass. Scary. I want more of this Alina.
Chapter 3
Out of all the random little details from crappy smut fics, I did not expect Oncat to be from the books, lol.
Mal actually has a supernatural tracking ability. Like, literally, they put a bug into the pouch with gunpowder so he could make the shot. I guess this was kinda said before, but never this directly, right?
Alina’s merzost-skyping Sasha now, yay.
Alina is horny for Sasha boy. Yay.
Alina canonically has a praise kink. Nice.
I hate LB with all of my heart at this very moment. How dare she bait us Darklina people like this? How DARE she? (Shipbaiting is the worst, seriously.)
Yes, yes, yes. These two lines. That’s what their relationship is all about. They’re each others foils, the yin to the other’s yang and... ugh. I am Darklina trash to the core and this hurts.
Darklina: You have a terrible taste in men.
Alina: I liked you once.
My boy Sasha walked into that one.
Chapter 4
Alina is a Queen. And we love her.
David, my beloved, my spirit animal.
It’s surprising they can read it at all, given it’s been centuries. Have you ever tried reading medieval manuscripts?
Honestly, with a father that crazy, it’s no wonder Baghra’s a bitch. And I’ve seen it said somewhere that the books imply Ilya’s experiments are what caused Baghra to be a shadow summoner and you know what? I can see how you’d make that connection.
Why is there so few Tidemakers in the books? Waterbenders are useful. I want more waterbenders.
Alina picking up some habits from Baghra I see.
Ah, yes, we love an educated giant.
I’m starting to think Harshaw is a bit nuts.
Shut up, Hershey. Or at least share the weed with the class. I’m not here for this “He’s mean to you because he likes you”. I might believe that in like, elementary school, but yall are (more or less) adults. Jesus.
Well, that was a bombshell of a twist.
Chapter 5
Oh boy, we’ve got some trauma bonding for out merry band of misfits. Yay.
Adrik has a crush on Zoya. And she hates it, lol. Cut the kid some slack, he’s like 15 or something.
That reminds me, I have a four-leaf clover pressed in books from close to year and a half ago. Time flies.
They’re really diving into the Mal has supernatural powers, huh?
Ghosts, let’s go.
Alina “I’m so happy to be outside I start to shine like a fucking fairy” Starkov and Mal is entranced. He’s definitelly nicer now. I’m not forgiving him for all the shit he’s pulled before and for using the silent treatment way too much, but hey, at least he’s improving.
I am not a Zoyalina person, but like... gay? Please? Rivals to grudging allies to friends to lovers, 300k slowburn? Sounds more fun than whatever Mala dn Alina have going on, lol.
(I’m starting to realize I’m not as much a Darklina person as I am anti-Malina person, lol. Like, literally everyone has a more interesting dynamic with Alina than tracker boy over there. Malina is at best boring AF and at worst toxic, codependent and emotionally abusive, while also being boring AF at the same time. It has literally nothing going for it except God herself liking it).
I can see why Nadia is gay in the show. The book version of her definitelly has a crush on Tamar. Homegirl likes a woman, who can murder her with the flick of her wrist and honestly? Same.
Alina has some big “coming out of lockdown after a year” energy atm.
The cat is one of the most realistic characters in this thing, lol.
And since Tamar is also heavily queercoded, our lovely ladies make off into the night, flirting. Or maybe not. Let me dream, though.
At least Blade Boy is aware that his tattoo is stupid. To quote someone ranting about him on tumblr: He’s embracing his identity as a tool.
Oh, boy, this will be fun.
Evil soldier is horny for Mal. Saints, is there a woman in this book who isn’t horny for Blade Boy?
And here comes Niki to save the day.
Chapter 6
Niki saved the day.
Fiberglass? And David being David. Genya being in love with her nerd of a boyfriend.
Jesus Christ, this one crazy kid has moved the technology in this universe a whole century on his own. So, when is David going to propose to him?
Baghra hasn’t changed much I see.
Baghra’s about to drop some truthbombs, but no, we have to be rudely interupted because Genya’s rapist is throwing a fit.
Chapter 7
How does Mal sound? Is she gonna say the Blade boy sounds like her dad? I mean, I know voices are partially genetic, but it has been tens of generations between them, probably.
So, we’re finally taking Genya’s trauma seriously after all this time? Good. Better late than never, I guess.
I wish that regicide was already finished and I’m pretty sure that Genya does, too. Stop defending the fucking king, narrative.
David’s a nerd in all things I see.
Someone please just kill the king already. And the queen, too, for good measure.
Now that’s a romance.
Infodumping and listening to said infodumps is a legitimate love language, Alina. Let them nerd out over poisons.
Wait, has Alina never directly killed anyone before? I thought she did... hmmm.
And just like that, it should have been over. Ugh.
Somehow, Baghra is a better teacher now than she was before. She half feels like a completely different character.
Nevermind, she’s back at it.
Chapter 8
Holy shit, Nadia and Tamar are canon. They have canon gays here.
So, which one of them is gonna die?
Chapter 9
We arrive at that scene. The one, where they should have fucked.
Jeez, girl, get a hold of yourself. Life is short, fuck a villain.
In other news, Genya and David definitelly fucked.
Chapter 10
Poor David. He just wanted to know.
Damn... I never realized just how young Baghra was, when she killed her sister.
I’ve already made a post about this, but it really does strike me like Baghra has already decided to end her life at this point in the book.
Why is that whole “but what if we’re related” thing even in there?
Chapter 11
We love a suprise attack.
When did Sasha boy learn that trick?
Baghra really just did that. Oh boy.
Chapter 12
No, don’t kill the kid... ugh.
Emotiona support cat. She should be friends with Milo.
Porrige for brains. Oof.
So Nadia was the one, who got bees set on her in the book. Cool.
That’s a good question. Why was it never brought up to Alina, that other Grisha get blocks, too?
David already thinking of steampunk prosthetic for Adrik is honestly kinda sweet.
Chapter 13
Back home... kinda.
Is that really... you really care about Mal bonking the Grisha school mean girl over a year ago? Okay.
Chapter 14
Angst! Yay!
And more angst.
Chapter 15
Sasha really went “My mom killed herself to save you? Well, I’ll kill the closest thing to parents you have.”
Chapter 16
Nikolai’s alive. Kinda.
And these two have such a sibling energy, I can’t.
And then they fuck. Ew.
Chapter 17
Wait, wait wait... so Alina isn’t even the one to destroy the Fold?
Okay. That’s... weird.
Holy shit. That was...
So, Aleksander is dead. Mal isn’t. Someone else destroyed the Fold for Alina and now she has no powers.
Okay.
That’s a weird-ass ending.
Chapter 18
The gays survived, so that’s nice.
Genya made good on her promise of making Alina a ginger, lol.
After
What emotion is this supposed to give me? Cause all I feel is kinda sad.
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hi hi history-non again, sorry I know it's a very
ahem wide and girthy ahem
ask, and i'm sorry for not narrowing it down farther my brain is smooth as butter and the dart board, so to speak, is. big. i feel like im throwing my dart in the ocean of 'what i don't know' and trying to spear a fish who might speak to me like the queer elder i never ha d ;lkasjd;flkas damn you small conservative town ANYWAYS
i guess okay maybe do you have any favourite figureheads? whats your fave pieces of lgbtqa+ media (like books or shows?)
thanks again and sorry for.
uh.
big.
--
Lolololol. Yes.... it’s so... big...
In the 90s, the writers of nonfiction who I found really inspirational were Susie Bright and Kate Bornstein. My Gender Workbook was a classic. I gather there’s a new edition.
I was a massive, massive nerd, so my actual favorite queer book as a 14-year-old is one that will be a bit... uh... much if you’re not feeling very intellectual. It’s Third Sex, Third Gender: Beyond Sexual Dimorphism in Culture and History. This thing is a massive doorstop of a book that collects academic journal articles on third gender roles from various cultures. I was obsessed with this thing. Again, it’s academic journal articles, not popular nonfiction, so expect that level of impenetrable prose.
I was also a giant weeb, so I read a bunch of books on the history of gay sex in Japan. It’s pretty interesting how much people assume the “m/m sex = sin” shit was worldwide and how much it just was not.
In terms of fiction, I’ve always struggled to find f/f media I relate to. I really like the tv adaptations of Fingersmith and Tipping the Velvet. Lots of fucked up problematicness and gorgeous visuals. Gotta love the lady with the strap-on and the gold body paint!
For other queer media, I was a big fan of Velvet Goldmine and of Pedro Almodóvar’s older films, which are full of every problematic kink you can think of. They also have a lot of het I like, like the lady being coerced into sex (that she enjoys) by the drag queen who impersonates her famous mother she has a lot of mommy issues about... except said drag queen is really an undercover police officer. Just... whut. (All the “straight” stuff in Almodóvar’s films is also bugfuck nuts and often kind of queer.)
I really, really, really loved Crash. Not the shitty one that won an oscar: the car crash perverts one full of weird UST. There’s a ton of straight sex in this too, along with every gender combo and a laundry list of upsetting kinks. It’s just every kind of weird perv thing. (”Weird art film full of sex and problematicness” is pretty much the defining feature of movies I liked as a teen. I loved Kissed, that het necrophilia movie too.)
Stage Beauty is probably my favorite film for bi vibes. It’s this meditation on identity as the English stage was changing over from having men play women to having actual actresses. It ends in f/m, but it’s definitely a very queer film.
If you want slice of life stuff, I guess you could try Dykes to Watch Out For (the comic that’s the source of the bechdel test) or the Tales of the City novel series. These will both give you a sense of what was going on in certain queer communities in the late 20thC. If you want something relatively fluffy, Maurice is a historical costume drama with a happy ending. I found it awfully slow as a college student, but it does have naked Rupert Graves (Lestrade from Sherlock), so...
----
See, this is hard to answer because I came of age and did all of my reading of that kind a long time ago. I pretty quickly moved on to fangirl media, which I have always liked a lot better than other arguably queer stuff. Back in the 90s, that meant Japanese stuff and fic. Later, I had access to more flavors of by-fujoshi-for-fujoshi media.
So my actual favorite m/m books are a bunch of “m/m romance” (i.e. American BL being sold as ebooks on amazon). If you want live action TV and fandomy vibes, you’re better off with Trapped (hot cop/mobster action!) or one of those Thai series about schoolboys or something than stuff made by cis gay men in the US.
I also came of age in an era when “queer” media was very Cis Gay Men And Sometimes Cis Lesbians with an occasional nod to bi people existing... maybe. Kate Bornstein and a few others were raising the profile of MtF transsexuals (the term in use at the time) who wanted surgery or even, gasp, maybe didn’t want bottom surgery in some cases. Anything about FtMs or nb/agender/etc. identities was practically invisible. I saw the term ‘genderqueer’ around a bit, but it was mostly in contexts that were very tryhard and unappealing to me.
(You haven’t given any details, but I’m going to go out on a limb and guess you’re like much of tumblr and the flavors of queerness you relate to aren’t so much the Cis Gay Men Only culture that makes up quite a bit of queer history and older queer media.)
I can tell you what I liked as a teen, but not everybody is into fucked up art films that may not have happy endings. I can try to rec things about queer culture in the 90s, but I probably don’t have great recs for way earlier or later than that... unless it’s so much earlier that I’ve researched it while writing fic of some historical canon or other. A lot of how I learned about queer culture myself was from magazines or from reading soc.bi on usenet or just from living through the 90s--not typically from books that are easy to unearth and just hand to someone now.
I tend to just not like anything in the contemporary romance or slice of life genres, regardless of gender and orientation, so while I’ve watched/read a bit more queer stuff like this, especially in the past when I had less access to queer media, it’s not a space I’m great at reccing in. And that’s unfortunate because a lot of that type of art gives you a better sense of what other queer people were like in other eras and/or it’s a safer rec than some bananas crazy BDSM film.
I was, and am, very kinky (though pretty lazy in terms of actual practice), so a lot of my reading and media interest was bound up in that also. Obviously, I was quite interested in the drawings of Tom of Finland or the photography of Robert Mapplethorpe, but are you going to be into photos of some guy shoving a whip handle in his ass? I love the movie Cruising... it’s about serial killers and leather and homophobia and is every bit as potentially traumatizing as that sounds.
I feel you on the problem of finding queer elders. There isn’t really an obvious way to go about this.
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MEDIA THAT I RECOMMEND YOU CONSUME INSTEAD OF SUPERNATURAL FOR BOTH HEART AND HEALTH BROKEN DOWN BY TYPE OF MEDIA AND WHY YOU MIGHT LIKE IT IF AT ANY POINT YOU, LIKE MY POOR POOR SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD SELF, WERE INVESTED IN THIS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE FIRE OF A SHOW
with apologies to anyone on mobile who’s readmore function APPARENTLY doesn’t work
(I haven’t watched supernatural for at least five years and, given any sort of luck, I will never do so again, do not @ me)
hello babes. I am talking to you know bc I keep seeing supernatural, unironically, on my dash, and I think we can all do better. I see what’s happening and I think: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU3i_o5Xd4g
Supernatural is fudge stripes. You are Megan. We can fix this.
So a list of alternate things that I think are overall better written/characterized/just generally more enjoyable that might scratch some of those itches:
TV SHOWS
Good Omens
okay look if u were on tumblr last year u probably already watched this show but like. If u haven’t, it’s only six episodes babe and there’s a large enough fandom that u can go down a fanart hole for days on end
Basic summary: the antichrist has reached that lovely young age where he’s supposed to bring about the apocalypse. An angel and a demon who have decided that actually they like the world as is, thank you very much, try to stop the end times. They’re not very good at it though, which makes for a comedy of errors.
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: theologic (mostly christian) exploration/parody/imagery without inherently being a religious show. Fighting off the apocalypse narrative, which I think pretty much always goes hard as hell, but that’s just me. There’s a gay angel who’s socially awkward. There’s a fun very British demon. Touches on the hierarchies of heaven and hell, with framing Heaven as a bureaucracy and blurs the differences between angels and demons. Pining. Tenderness. A deep nostalgia for 80s music, though in this case it’s specifically queen, and who doesn’t love queen. Main character has a weirdly strong bond with his black vintage car. Satan is (sort of) fought.
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Gravity Falls
sometimes...things that are kids shows...with a set story and a predetermined ending...are better
(also this isn’t relevant to any of what I’m talking about but I really appreciate that Gravity Falls specifically went against the thing that most begged me about ATLA aka that a 15 year old girl would be like yeah I’m into a 12 year old boy because the 12 year old boy has a crush on me and I apparently don’t get to really have a say in this. How does that make sense.)
Basic Summary: Twelve year old twins Dipper and Mabel go to stay with their Grunkle Stan for the summer in a small Oregon town called Gravity Falls. Turns out this town is filled with all sorts of strange phenomena that they often have to confront, work around, learn about, or befriend!
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: The core focus of the show is a close sibling duo, but like It’s obvious that the siblings actually like and love each other and while they have their spats it’s still incredibly clear that they deeply care about each other even with their differences LIKE SORRY SUPERNATURAL YOU CAN’T JUST TELL ME THAT SIBLINGS CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER AND THEN THEY SPEND ALL THEIR TIME FIGHTING AND LYING TO EACH OTHER AND GENERALLY ACTING LIKE THEY CAN’T STAND EACH OTHER’S COMPANY BUT THEN OOOHHH YOU CRY ON TOP OF THE HOOD OF A CAR EVERY THREE EPISODE AND SUDDENLY THEY’RE SOULMATES OR WHATEVER
Anyway. Yeah. GF has a solid sibling dynamic. Monster of the week that builds up to greater over-arching plot. A little bit of body horror, you know, for humor. Fair amount of meta humor playing with the tropes of the genre. A Good Ol Big Bad that tries to pit the siblings against each other. Have to fight the apocalypse (you’ll see this point on like a good half of these recs, I really like ‘what are we gonna do about Armageddon’ media). Interesting creature design. Planned, satisfying ending (which supernatural absolutely does not have, but I still think if it had ended with the season 5 finale like it uhh pretty obviously was supposed to, that would sort of counted. Don’t revive shows that have clearly already told their stories kids.) Tie in media that gives you some fun extra stories when you miss the characters. (yes I read some of the supernatural novels when I was a c h i l d, yes I’m pretty sure there’s one or two of them still buried somewhere on my laptop, no I don’t wanna talk about it.) Older father figure (?) who owns a tbh kind of shitty shop. Both already in place and found family.
It’s a good show, and it’s two seasons. John Mulaney Voice: I dunno it’s 40 episodes
MINI REC ALERT! (mini recs are basically things that I’m not gonna go into detail about for whatever reason [probably either due to i’m not familiar enough with it OR I just don’t like. Have a bunch to say about it in regards to how it will scratch the itches presented to u by spn] but still seem like a Good Watch)
Mini Rec: Over The Garden Wall. Spooky Kids Media! Episodic! Miniseries so you can watch it in like 2 hours! Cool ass Animation! About two brothers encountering said spooky stuff! Big Bad tries to pit brothers against each other! Might haunt you for the rest of your life! Check it out!
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The Haunting of Bly Manor
I think about this show every goddamn day of my life. (Also not relevant but Greg Sestero makes a brief cameo in it and I was like hi greg my friend greg!)
Basic Summary: An girl named Dani, while staying in London, decides to take on an Au Pair job for two young children, an older brother named Miles (age 10) and the younger sister Flora (age 8) at the spoooooky and mysteeerious Bly Manor, and she gets far more than she bargained for.
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Okay so supernatural doesn’t actually do this but I know I KNOW why we let ourselves be queerbaited in 2012. Four words for you: CENTRAL! GAY! TRAGIC! ROMANCE! You want some pining? Some tenderness? Some LOVE? Some dealing with internalized homophobia but no, like, actual violent onscreen homophobia? HAVE I GOT THE SHOW FOR YOU. If ur favorite episodes where the ones that make you sob (for me it was kevin’s death on god), I recommend this show. If you wished that supernatural literally ever had consequences or perma deaths or didn’t retcon major plot events like every five goddamn episodes so that there could be some exploration of like grief and trauma through the lens of/ higher stakes of horror, I recommend this show. If you really do stay up at night picturing a supernatural that wasn’t made by dumbass cishettie white men hack writers but was actually allowed to have Dean and Cas be in love over the course of the show so they could have like actual development and not the most homophobic gay reveal of all time, I recommend this show. Hell, if you just want a banger ghost story in general, I recommend this show.
As for what they actually have in common: horror setting/aesthetic without actually being all that scary most of the time. A strong sibling duo, though they’re not nearly as much of the focus of Bly Manor. Found family. Strong themes of grief. Questions of what turns someone into a monster (and done much better) An actual, much better noble sacrifice done out of love. Escalation of stakes until there’s a big final confrontation. Semi-big bad trying to tear this family apart. Found and pre-installed family. Sad orphans.
Watch this show. Vibe with me. Cry with me. Yell at me about Owen Sharma
MINI REC ALERT!
Haunting of Hill House- spiritual predecessor to Haunting of Bly Manor, though they’re not actually the same universe/story. However, it’s made by the same dude and has a shared aesthetic/sensibilities/some of the cast. This is only a mini rec bc I haven’t actually seen it, but I’ve heard good things and that it, while much more heavily leaning into family dynamics, has similar themes of exploring Grief and Trauma through ghooossstttsss.
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Community
Okay I know that this may seem like a Wild rec considering community is a school sitcom with basically Zero paranormal elements but just like. Hear me out. And no this isn’t just because I think it’s a realy good show and I want more people to watch it, though that is a factor. If I was just recommending comedies that I think are good and more people should watch regardless of them serving as a replacement for supernatural I would demand you all go watch Galavant and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I’m gonna demand it anyway. Everyone go watch Galavant and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Now back to your original program:
Basic Summary: A group of students at Greendale Community College form a Spanish study group, and things quickly go Off The Fucking Rails in the best way possible.
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: All right I’m gonna be real honest this rec is for all of my (correct) bitches who’s favorite episodes of Supernatural were French Mistake, Changing Channels, and/or Mystery Spot. You think if Supernatural would’ve been fucking fantastic if it had been a committed comedy instead of a CW melodrama that occasionally landed some admittedly really fucking funny episodes/concepts, Community (and the movies on this list) will gently take you into its loving arms and give you everything you desire. It’s about the Meta comedy. It’s about the discussion, exploration, and subversion of common tropes within the format. It’s about the grand use of group/ found family dynamics in order to max both the goofs and the heart. It’s about fantastic callbacks. It’s about having one of the few “asshole with a heart of gold” leads I can actually stand because. You know. Growth. It’s about the INCREDIBLE genre and pop culture parody. Which genre do they parody, you ask. All of them. They parody all the genres. The glee parody episode is a fucking masterpiece of television. If you don’t want to watch a show that features a Halloween party where everyone turns into zombies and the ABBA discography blasts in the background, you can stop reading right now, because I can guarantee you won’t be interested in a damn thing I have to say.
MINI REC ALERT: The X-Files. I’ve also never seen this but a: everything I’ve seen out of context has been fantastically weird and delightful b: it appears that there’s a general consensus that Scully and Mulder are one of the only valid straight couples so it’s probably pretty fun and c: let’s all be honest. Supernatural was already basically an x-files rip off, it had like half of their original writers swiped from the x-files crew, I’m pretty sure if you liked especially the first couple of seasons of supernatural, you’re gonna like the X-files.
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Subcategory: TV SHOWS ( A WHOLE TWO OF ‘EM, OR MORE LIKE ONE AND HALF IF YOU WANNA GET TECHNICAL) I’M SPECIFICALLY RECOMMENDING FOR THAT COCAINE HIT OF PURE UNADULTERATED UNCUT 2012 TUMBLR NOSTALGIA
BBC Merlin
Yes, I know the show ended in 2010. Yes, it still provides that 2012 Tumblr nostalgia. 2012 Tumblr is a feeling, not an actual time period.
I love this stupid show. I plan on rewatching it all over the month of January. I harbor a deep amount of fondness for it. It’s why every time I see literally any depiction of Merlin I get just so fucking excited, and why I’ve consumed as many ridiculous Arthurian adaptations as I have (side note: my two favorite other ridiculous Arthurian legend adaptation are Avalon High, a DEEPLY silly DCOM that is required viewing to level up friendship with me, and The Kid Who Would Be King, which is the only movie that I think truly understands the comedic potential of playing a King Arthur Adaptation mostly straight but everyone in it is 12. I’m not sure it intended to be as fucking funny as it was, but again, they’re all middle schoolers. I have never been more jealous of an actor than I was of the 22 year old that got to play a 16 year old dumbass Merlin who was sometimes also Patrick Stewart and did all of his magic with ridiculous hand gestures That should’ve been me that should’ve been me that should’ve been me. Also Sword in the Stone by TH White is pretty good, because Merlin knows germ theory in the fantasy 400’s and he just uses it to be petty mostly. Also listen to High Noon Over Camelot by The Mechanisms. Also Also I tend to prefer family friendly adaptations because they don’t have the uhhh. You know. Incest and sexual violence of the original legend. Love to Not have that shit!) Whether you watched it initially and are due for a rewatch, or you’re intrigued enough by the concept of the show to watch it for the first time, you should join me on this wild wild ride.
Basic Summary: You know who Guinevere, Arthur, and Merlin are, come on. BBC said let’s make em all YOUNG let’s make em SEXY let’s make em FAMILY FRIENDLY and let’s make magic REALLY SEEM LIKE A THINLY VEILED ALLEGORY FOR BEING GAY BUT TO THIS DAY IM NOT SURE IF THAT WAS INTENTIONAL OR NOT BUT IT SURE SEEMS LIKE IT WAS. @ THE BBC MERLIN CREATORS WHAT IS THE TRUTH BECAUSE THERE WAS SOME INTERVI-
Basic Summary but like a bit more helpful: A BABY version of Merlin (and by baby I mean like 20 year old.) is sent from his small town to the big city the Kingdom of Camelot to find his destiny. Staying with the town physician and friend of his mom’s, Gaius, he ends up as both his assistant and personal manservant to Prince Arthur. But in a kingdom where magic is punished with death and the prince seems hell bent on getting himself into situations that are going to kill him, the young sorcerer has his more than his share of work cut out for him.
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Primo supremo queerbaiting. Like, yeah, okay, it’s queerbaiting, you know it’s queerbaiting, but you watch some of the scenes and ur like okay. I know why I let this bait me. Obviously with a modern show, I would expect more, I would expect better, I would raise my standards, but I gotta admit. Some of these scenes are fuckin compelling as hell, and the subtext is like barely sub. Monster of the week shenanigans. Some awful CGI creatures but like a charming awful. Like the kind of awful that tells you their very limited budget was more focused on cool swords than realistic creatures. Episodic stories build into a more overarching plot, with things getting darker in season 4/5. Shitty father that end up eating shit and while the son of said father is rightfully conflicted and upset over the death it’s cathartic and victorious as all hell for the audience. Multiple hot evil women, and I love hot evil women. There’s also nice hot women, which is a bonus. These women don’t all immediately stupidly die, so that’s a nice change. Also like a LOT of sarcastic humor and shenanigans if u like Sass Merlin is there for u personally name a more iconic line than “Oh I’m sorry, how long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?” AND THAT’S IN THE FIRST FUCKIN EPISODE brilliant amazing fantastic show stopping. Also you know those like dumb hijink episodes where like Dean was possessed by the spirit of a dog or some shit? You bet your bottom fuckin dollar BBC Merlin has those kinds of storylines. Also I know some people go to spn bc it had that HUGE fanbase and like BBC Merlin’s fanbase is still SURPRISINGLY poppin even though it’s been a decade since there was new content so like. Have fun!
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Doctor Who but Specifically the RTD Era
Look I’m not here to say that the first four seasons of reboot doctor who are the only good doctor who or inherently better than all the rest (though the RTD era is my favorite personally) BUT when ur seekin that sweet sweet superwholock frenzy nostalgia, this is the ‘who’ that is being referred to. Also like. Stan 9. We should all collectively stan the ninth doctor. Chris Eccleston, the Objectively Best Famous Chris, deserved better.
Basic Summary: An immortal alien that goes by “The Doctor” travels across time and space with a variety of different companions, often to try and save the day or fix a (sometimes self created) mess. It’s distilled campy sci-fi with a family friendly tone that has made me cry on several occasions.
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Monster of the week that, you guessed it, builds into bigger overarching plot style narrative. Fighting off the apocalypse, but like every couple of weeks because worlds are in danger a LOT. A semi-tragic romance that made people go absolutely buck fuckin wild bc pining n shit. Wamen, but they aren’t fridged. (actually for real though none of the main women die and I just think that’s really fun and flirty even though I could go on a COMPLETELY SEPARATE rant about the injustice of one of the character’s ending YES season 4 is my favorite season and one of my favorite pieces of media ever and I am currently actively recommending it to you YES im still fucking pissed over how it ended YES we exist) Specifically, a Wonderful and Very Excellent woman named Donna who goes on a spa trip that doesn’t end up going very well. That seems like a highly specific example, and it is, but it did happen in both shows. (Also, to anyone that continued watching SPN after like idk season 9 what happened to Donna? I always liked her and I know she became a recurring character so like DM whatever probably injustice was the end of her story line pls and thank you) I’m also extra specifically recommending for Supernatural Fans and also The World At Large: Season Four of Reboot Who. I rewatched it last year and it still goes so fucking hard. Donna Noble is the best character in existence. In regards to the appeal for SPN, personally I think the best part of SPN was when people who are soulmates went on adventures and tried to save the day and it was a good mix of banter and sincerity AND GUESS WHAT’S BASICALLY THE ENTIRETY OF SEASON 4 OF DOCTOR WHO. It’s so good y’all I wish Everything was about soulmates going on adventures and trying to save the day.
OKAY TV SHOWS DONE TIME FOR M O V I E S which I don’t have nearly as many recs for but uhh here goes
What We Do In The Shadows/ Shaun of the Dead
I’m lumping these two together bc my reasons for recommending them are largely the same, and I would call them tonally similar enough that if you like one you’ll probably like the other
Basic Summary (Shaun of The Dead): Uh-oh! London’s had a break out of some of that good ol’ zombieism. Shaun and friends decide to hunker down in a local bar, but they have to get there first. Will they survive? Will they fuck up some zom zoms? Who’s to say?
Basic Summary (What We Do In The Shadows): Some vampire roommates dick around. I think there’s technically, like, a plot, but it’s really just about some vampires Doin Their Thing. Vibin.
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: This is kind of similar to the Community recommendation, in that supernatural had the opportunity to be one of those things that was both a parody of a genre but also just a really good example of the genre. WWDITS and SotD are both those things for vampire and zombly movies, respectively. Have the aesthetic and some of the themes of a horror but is not actually all that scary. Horror Comedy is a god tier genre and I don’t know why it’s not more widespread. Fun monsters/cast of characters in general, so at least one person in it is probably going to make you go “oh gender” ya know? With SotD you have the fantasy power trip that comes with like any piece of media that involves hunting monsters. With WWDITS I go “yep that’s how bisexuals dress” and I Will Not Clarify which character I’m talking about.
MINI REC ALERT: All of Taika Watiti’s filmography. Thor:Ragnarok is one of like 3 marvel movies that I consider genuinely fucking fantastic completely independent of the MCU and my own tendency to be like “hurr bdurr I love. Superheros”. For the one that is most tonally like Supernatural But Significantly Better and Written By Someone Competent I think I would say try out Hunt For The Wilderpeople. It’s got a reluctant curmudgeonly father figure and I KNOW some of you motherfuckers were so invested in spn when you were like 16 bc you had daddy issues. This is a callout post for my friend [REDACTED], who I should text to watch Hunt for the Wilderpeople, actually.
MINI REC ALERT X2!!!: Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I’ve never seen it but it has both Winona Ryder AND Keanu Reaves so like. Goth bi rights.
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Happy Death Day (and Happy Death Day 2 U)
happy death day was one of those movies that I saw the trailer, went “eh”, heard other people say it was great, watched, and went holy fuck this slaps. Not nearly as much of a slasher film as the trailers implied if im remembering the trailer correctly
Basic Summary: Our main character Tree keeps waking up on the day she was murdered. The day resets every time that she dies. That’s right, it’s a time loop storey babey!!!!!!!!!!!
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: If you were anything like me you were foolishly lulled into supernatural for way longer than you should’ve been on the promise that the characters would idk like grow and change and become better and learn lessons and some of that would be through the power of receiving love and kindness. You know. Like how good writers would do it especially if their main characters are kind of dicks that really should make some changes. Well, Happy Death Day fucking delivers on that promise in SPADES. It’s about growth! It’s about change! It’s about making the active decision to become a better person and putting effort into doing so! There’s heavy themes of like grief and trauma and acknowledging them and facing them head on in order to move on and the negative consequences of refusing to do so and just trying avoid it until it goes away. There’s a romance that makes my dumb little self do the pleading face emoji. Tree is also one of the only good asshole with a heart of gold characters. I also think media is improved by having at least one character that is a Good Good Boy (note: Good Good Boy character does not have to be a man.) and Happy Death Day has Carter. Oh on that note: Tree Voice: I’ve only had character for (the same repeating over and over) a day but if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone here and then myself. Also the movie is funny so like hell yeah.
that’s all I got for relevant movies right now
BOOK RECS
jk i’m illiterate. Everyone should feel free to go ahead and add their own suggestions for this section The best I can do is uhhhh I think y’all would probably like Mira Grant’s novels, particularly the Newsflesh stories, bc sibling dynamics. Also the book The Haunting of Hill House is really good. Ballad of Black Tom slaps? There’s of course the Good Omens novel that the show was based on. I’m about to recommend some podcasts after this section which will include to Welcome to Nightvale because of course it will and the tie in novels for that slap, especially It Devours!, and I’m pretty sure they work as stories even if you know nothing about the podcast. Also also I think you should read “The Long Way to A Small, Angry Planet” by Becky Chambers It’s not thematically similar to supernatural at all but it’s one of my all time favorite sci fi novels and only like four people have read it which is a goddamn TRAVESTY.
Anyway yeah that’s it that’s all there is. Onto the medium that is like books but I can fold laundry or cook while consuming their narratives.
PODCAST RECS
Okay so this is getting uhhh wicked long so I’m gonna limit myself to only three full blown recs and a
mini rec
Alice Isn’t Dead
Fuck me running this show is so good. Literally hands down my all time favorite (and scariest!) horror podcast. Mamma mia, that’s a good fuckin story. The Book version is also good and has fewer Weird events but some further character development so I recommend them both.
Basic Summary: After her wife Alice disappears mysteriously, Keisha takes up a job as a long haul trucker, traveling all across America in order to find her, but ends up finding so much. Pursued by a deadly creature she calls The Thistle Man, the stakes of her journey are raised.
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: okay so I have a lost of bullet points of things that appealed to me specifically about supernatural and how no other shows covers all of them which sucks bc it means I basically Yearn for a show that’s supernatural but good. Alice isn’t Dead, however, hits the most of these bullet points AND is so fucking good. It has monster hunting. It has stopping a cataclysmic event BUT also discussion of the cyclical nature of events such as these and how the fight never truly ends but you can make some fucking progress nonetheless. It has a central gay romance that’s actually a central gay romance. It’s the ONLY show on this list that really hits that the weird and dark underside of americana vibe but specifically the americana of not like suburbs and shit but that eerie haunted feeling you get when you’re hours into a late night drive on open roads with no civilization around and an expansive sky and it just Seems like something should be watching you. Have you ever been out for a walk at midnight and encountered a deer and you looked into each other’s eyes and it felt like it was telling you a message that you couldn’t possibly hope to parse? Have you ever felt an incredible sense of deja vu eating in a restaurant you couldn’t have possibly been in before, because you’ve been to a thousand diners a thousand times just like one, and there’s an incredibly sense of homogeneity even though you’re 2000 miles away from anyone and anything that could possibly know you? Have you ever traveled to an area that seems to be stuck in a bubble of time, the only thing that shows any evidence of having aged past 2006 being yourself, and you wonder how your cell phone even works around here? THAT’S the spooky americana I’m fuckin talking about! Messed up road trips! Too much goddamn space! America is scary because it’s big and Filled With Things but also Not Enough Things! Fuck yeah!!!!! That time bubble fuckin EXISTS in Wyoming the most recent song on the radio I heard was fuckin Hey Soul Sister!
Also has a thing where like are there even good guys and bad guys in a conflict or is it all just one umbrella nightmare that you’re trying to stand against in anyway possible (u kno..like how the overarching structures of both heaven and hell were kinda fucked in spn? No spoilers but similar shit be happenin in Alice Isn’t Dead). Exploration of what makes someone into a monster, like how do you go down that path? Also this is the only show on this whole damn list that southern gothic music really suits it so points for that.
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The Magnus Archives
You know I had to do it to ‘em.
Basic Summary: Jonathan Sims has just become the Head Archivist at the Magnus Institute, a “research” “facility” that looks into paranormal/esoteric/unexplained phenomena.
John Mulaney Voice, Again: Nobody knows what the archivist is going to do next, least of all the archivist. He’s never been in an archives before, he’s just as confused as you are.
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Oh fuck this document is over 5k long I said I wasn’t gonna do this hhhhh so lipton lightning round: Slowburn Gay Romance but Actually Canon, Monster Hunting but Hey What Even Is A Monster Anyway, Acts Somewhat like a Loosely Connected Horror Anthology until it DOESNT, Little Things Build to Bigger Narrative, Characters Be Goin Through It (On God These People Need Therapy), Trying to Prevent/Fix The Apocalypse (X2!!!), Smug Asshole Big Bad, Horror as a Metaphor For Various Shit, Basically if you thought that the Men of Letter concept slapped and you think it should’ve been the whole damn show including being Deeply British you would probably really fuckin like TMA. Also if ur like the ideal piece of media is a horror tragedy but also like it’s a wacky sitcom but also also fuck cops. U will like tma.
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Welcome to Nightvale
IF ANY 2012 TUMBLR FANDOM DESERVES TO MAKE A MASSIVE COMEBACK AND BE EVERYWHERE AGAIN AND ABSOLUTELY FLOOD MY DASH IT’S WELCOME TO NIGHTVALE WHY DID WE ABANDON THE SHOW THAT TREATED US THE MOST KINDLY DID YOU KNOW THAT EPISODES 108-110 ARE THE BEST FUCKING BUILT UP NARRATIVE REVEAL THAT I HAVE WITNESSED IN MY LIFE DID YOU KNOW THAT IT CONTINUED TO BE REALLY FUCKING GOOD AFTER MOST PEOPLE STOPPED LISTENING DID YOU KNOW CECIL AND CARLOS ARE MARRIED AND THEY HAVE A DOG AND A TODDLER NOW BECAUSE OF ALL THE GAY PODCAST PROTAGONISTS CECIL GERSHWIN PALMER LOVE OF MY LIFE ELDRITCHIAN CHEERLEADER AND CERTIFIED BIMBO KEEPS FUCKIN WINNIN BABY. DID YOU KNOW THAT CECIL THINKS PEANUT BUTTER IS A ROCK.
Basic Summary: Welcome to the sleepy desert town of Ņ̶̏ight V̶͚̰̮͗̔̊̊ale! Community radio how host Cé̵̟͚͕̗̞̙͂͑̽̄́c̵̤̼̞͈̪͓̍̽̋̚̕͜il Pǎ̵̧̨̢͚̻̈̂̄̇͐̇̊̀̆ͅl̶͚͎͕͉͖̬͓͑́̐̒̍̿̈́͢͜͝ͅm̸̧͙̟̖̠̳̬͋́͋́͌̚̚ͅȩ̙̖͎̖͂́̒͐͜͞r̢̢̛̰̻̮̺̩͙̼̈́͋̀͘ is here to k̠̠̰̦͙̯̥̎̄̆͌̎̀̿̔̌̚ê̷̢̬̥̞̩̯̘͒̽̈̓͐̂̔̍e̶̡̝̗̺̫̪̜͆̓̿̈͌͌̆͒͞ͅp̵̹̗̬̼̠̬͙̏͐͐̉̅͊͊́͟͞ͅͅ ỷ̛͙̞̦̦͖̑̉̌̎͞͡͡͝ͅo̧̧̥͎̻̥̲͇͋́́̔̈͌͞ǔ̸̬̯̫͇̦̮͕̤̲̯̽̔̀̔͆͋̈́͘̚ up to date all the local happenings, including w̸̢̢̢̧̡̡͍͖̻̳̹̼̼̰̬̭̱͔̲͙͍̰̠̥̺̝͖̺̖̼̮̼̞̳̞̜͉̤̯͇̖̳͖̠̙̺̲̤͇͈͚͓̮̭̱̭̩͚̟̥̬̟̻̝̼̖͚̘͐̆̅̂̃̈́͆͊̉̏͒́̈́̋͗͑̄̉́̐̌́̿̌͛̾̎̊̾̃̈́̉̔̍̐͛̕͘̚͜͜͠͠é̵̢̡̧̨̨̡̛̹̥̥̞̮̯͙͈̻̝͓͖͙̦̰͍̖̜̲̰̞͎͈̭̯̳͕̗͓͈̭̫̼̯̪̞̯̰̲̘̭͎̪̱̗̝̝̞̤̱͉͙̯͎̬͎̙̜̗͉̩̦̊̓̃̐̂́͂̎̐̾̔̽̀̉́̍̊̂̿̎͂͐̎̐̄̍̔̋̐̃͗̈́͂̀̒̊̎͘͘̕̚̕͜͝͝͝͠ͅͅ��̧̨̡̪̳͇͙̺̙̰̠͚͎̜̠͔̬͎̺̣͕̜a̸̡̧̡̡̨̡̨̛̛͙̣̘̳͎͖̥̝̟̱̩̥͙͉̝̲̙̮̩̩̹̱͔͎̥̹̻̜͚̭̬̳͚̤̙̖̯͎̱̫̞̪̻͖̱̞͔̭̻̺͚͚̯̬͓͓̳͇̳̦͓̞͈̮̤̭̣͉̲̞͚̘͗̆̃͌̅̍͊̓̈̇̌̒͊͑̊̏̊͌̈̓̿͗̒̏̒͊͒̏̃̎̒̀̅̾̍̀͘͘͜͝͠ͅt̵̢̡̨̧̧̛̛̛̯̤͓̘̻̤͓̪̰͔̪̝̫͎̻͔͈͎͔͙͕͈̰͓͍̀̏͒̆͋̈́̈́͂̔͋͆͂̅͗̍̆̍̆̔̑͊̏̈͒́̽͊́̿͂́̓͛̽͐͌̌̐̈̇̃̓̆̍̅̃̔̚̕͜͝͝͝ͅͅh̸̨̨̡̢̢̡̢̧̡̧̢̡̨̡̭̜̬̬̙͕̗̙̻̯̠̘͙̻̥͉͚̼̗͚͇͉̰͍̥͉̗͎̬̫͖͉͔̼̮̯̞̫̬̟̻͉̖̙̥̫͖̬͚̟̜̭͇͎̭̘̝̲̤͕͎̰̭̗̯̮̤̙̙̯͍̞̭͚͔͎̞̹̲̟͉̩̭̖̱̠͍̺͈̟̩̋̆̈́͆̍̆̄̏͜ͅͅȇ̸̢̢̨̨̧̛̜͍̺͎̬̪͙̻̝̣͓͈̺̩̳̟̲̠̣͈͎͎͈͉̙̪͖̳̺͇̹̊̍͊͑̿͊̌͛̿̓͊̾̀͂͛̉͆̾̽͆̈̏͛̊͛̍̈́̇͋̔͂̑͐̂̿͊̽͑͘̚͘͝͝͠͝ͅͅŕ̵̨̡̨̨̢̧̡̧̨̘̟͙̦̲̲̪̦̙̼̠̳͚̞̦̞͖͚͇̳͖̲̭͕̜̫̳̖̙͖͉͎̘̘̤̠͈̬͕̝̻͚̥͍͕̠̥͙̙̪̖̯͍̘̘̲̣̹̜̪̲̭̟̮̫̖̤̰͔̩̩͉̲͚̟̝̦̬̪̘̬̮̱͔̻̦̼̃̐̂͋̐̅̋͒̉͛́̅̈́̒̒͆̑̆͊̒͒̀̍̈́̍͌̍̏̔͋͌̒̍̌͛̓̈̂̐̕͘͘͜͜͝͝͝ͅͅͅ ̶̢̡̨̛̠͇̹̯͕͍̻̟̼̼̗̩̱̗̙̱̥̜̬̫̜͎͉̺̣͓̟̯̱͖̣̞̠̝̥͍̲̳̙̠͔̹̘̲̲̻̖̈́̊͋͜͜ą̵̡̧̟͕̬̳̜͈͈̳̝̜̣̬͔͈͈͎͉͍̯̟̞̺͎̝͇̰̥͖̬̯͙̤̬̼̲̦̯̭͓̠̺̳̱̰̮̎͋͆̈́͌͆̎̉̓̇̐͋͋́̃̉̈̄̏̓̉̿̅̒̉̒̉͂͛̄̀̇̒͊͛́͊̎́͆̌̆́̌͂̈́̽̋͛͗̑̊̀́̍͊̌͆͊͐͆̅̒̊̉̾̄͛̑̕͘͘͘͘͝͝͝͝͠͠͝n̸̡̛̛̛̛̛̙͎̬̦̠̼͓͈̝̾̍͑͛̅̒̾́̌̍͛̇̋̇̓̏͛̔͛̈́͆̿̌͐̿͊̿́͒̍̃̀̈͐̐̆͐̉̒̂̉̀̅̇̾͋̍͒̋̈̌̿͒͐̍́͗̀̌̌̚̕̕̕͘̚͘͘̚͜͠͝͝͝d̴̡̢̢̛̛̛̺̠̳̬͎̞̲̣̲̱̳̪̹͉̝̠̱̗̙̫̠̹̼̙̝͉̲̟̮̙̙̮̻̹͈̦̙̞͚̜̙̖̞͓̙̭͉̃̽̌̅̔̾̈́̒̽͑́̒͋̓̈́͆͋̽̒̃̽̋̐͌͂̍͑́̽̋̍͗̋͗͂̅̽̈̈̾͐̄̃̕̕͜͠͠͝͠͝ͅͅ ̵̡̡̢̛̛̗͚͍̺͇̲̳̯͓̰͍̙̮̙̜̟̞̣̼͕̝͔͙̺̫͈͈̠̻̘̱͍̦̭͔͈̤̺̗̮͕̦̞̘͍̯̻̝͓̤̳̫͔̩͉̈́͋̈́̐͒́̔́́̿̓̆͐̎͆̇͒̄̈̿̓̑̾̏̔̿͊̌͆͒̒͊̓̅̓́̔̅̀̀̀̃̿̂̑͂͆̅̎̾̏̓̂̈́͛͌̇̾͌͐̈̂̆͐̅̓̍̓̃̆͗̃͛̏̒̌̀̅͊́̽̐̆̿́̌͘͘̚̕͘̕̕͜͜͜͠͝͠͝͠��t̷̢̥͓̄͗̾̄̅̚͜r̵̨̡̨̧̧̢̛̛̛̛̛͍͙͚̥̱̞̜̦̜̼̺͉̠̬͎̰̻̜̼̫̤͓͖͖̤͇̞̥̖̈́͊̆̓͊̑̑̋̒̈́̔̆͆́̐͛͑͊͋̇̈́̓̑̍̏͐͛̽̋̎͑̃̈́͒̇̂̇̌͂̀̍̊̇̓̋̈́̌̏̕͘̚̕̚͝͝͠ǎ̴̡͓͓̯̘̥̱̱͖̦̺͓̘͉͖̞̟̦͈̜̥̰̘̞͈̦̠̼̯̙̭̼͚̟̖̲̠̝̜̐̅͆̏̈́̍́͂̃̾͑̓͋̽̄̾́̾̆̾͒͋̎͂̈́͘̕̕̚͜ͅͅf̷̢̡̡̧̢̨̡̧̢̢̧̡̧̫͖̖͇̲̫̮͕͉͓̩̪̳̹̩͎̖̟̤̤̲̟̪̫̻̻̖̟̦͉̼͎͖̭͍͖͎̖̳̳͙̜͉̝̘̺̖͚̙͉͕͙̯͖̞͚̮̲̻͉͙̺̭͓͎̤͙̦̦̺̯͕̜̰͍̳̙̦͉̪̥́͋̓̅̀͋͐̀̄̊̆̉̒̐͒̀̏̈̇̊̉̆̐̏̾̀̀̓͛͆̍̾͗͌̀̄̔͒̀̍̈́͆̔̒̑̏̍̏͆́̾̐̂͋̂̔̂́̓̓̌͌̉͛́̒̐̽̏́̑͊́̌̆̂̑͋̇̈́͌̑̿̅͗̚̕͘̕̚͜͠͝͝͠͠f̴̨̨̛̹͌̂̓͌͛̀͑̾̓̍͗̽͆̉̊͗̇́̍͌̊͐̔̈́̊̇͆̄̃̑̕̕͘͘͘͠͝͝͝͠i̴̧̡̢̢̧̢̨̨̧̧̧̛̛͎̗̳̦̘̙͓̦̙͔̜̼̘͇͇̺̭͉̠̩̟̤̥̘͙̤̩͔̪̱̻͈̪̼̼̞̠͎̟̹͕̻̭̤̪̲͕̟̺̻̻͖͕͚̣͇̖̰̝̩͈̤͕͇͕̝͙̙̪͔̗̫͇͎̙̲̲͖̗̘͉̲̣̤͎̔̐̆͒̄̈́̀̎̃̃̅͆̌̈́̽̈́̅̈́̑̄̇͒͐̀̐̀̒̍̀̓͌͗̓̽́͗̓̎͂͛̅̑̔̀͛̈́̽̾̃̊͊͆̄̍͑̍̆̌̾͗̄̊̽̉̅̆̀̎̀͑̿̎̋̄̆̃͐̾̏͛͒̍̋̅͘̕̚̕̕͜͜͝͝͝͝͠ͅͅc̷̛̛͚̝̻̣̞̓́̃́̀̃̓͗͌̂͛́̒̊͑̓͆̇̈́͑̏̆̀͌̑͂͂̄͌̉̔̋́̎͒̿͗͒͛̇͛̿̎̍̕̕̕͝͝͝͝͝ ̴̢̧̢̡̨̢̡̨̡̢̢̛̺̘̹̯̤̩̘̯͔̞̟̬̠̣̟̻̥̜̤͔̥͕̠̥̞͎̗̩̱̮͉͔͎̲̯̱̙̜̥̳̮͔̦̣͖͔̜͉̗̪̳̹̦̤͇̣̙͕̯̫̖̝̼̹͍̠͎͓̗͎̦͓̲̯̱̠̰͇̮̹͔̝͉͙̹̜̹͈̹̥͖̣̳̲͖̓́͌̈́̈́̀͌̄͂̌̾́̍̔̊̓̿͋͂͋̈́̋́́̒̓̀̒̃͂̀͑̐͛̆̆͒̈́̅̿͊͌̍͗̌̌͆̂͌́̉̏̒̓͊̾̒̓̋̽͐̏̾͘̕͜͝͠͝ͅͅr̸̨̢̛̪̞̬͓͔̥̤̣͔̭̥̙͉̦̗̠̳̩͙̂̈́͑͑̿̋̓̀͋͆̋̕͝͝ë̴̢̡̨̬͈͉̖̞͔͎͓͖̼̘̬͕̰͈̥͈̝̩͎͉͉̫̜͚͕̤͔̟̯͓͎̟͙̜̭̩̗̮͎̗̤͇̝̩͎̜̺̯͕͇̝͎̯͙̖͙̮̗̮̘́̑͑͛̂̅̄̌̽̓̒̾̿͆̏̏͐͛̾̂̃͑͆̅̄̿͋̅͂̈́̽͋͒̎͐̒̓͆̌̉͑͊́̀̈̾͛̋͑̋̎̈̀̽̀͊̏͘͝͝͝͝͠͝ͅp̴̧̧̡̢̢̢̛̛̛͚̟͓̖̭̪̻̪̲̬̥̙̥̰̼̹͎͕̪̞̮̺̰̬̘̫̤͉̦͙̮̖̙̹̻͔̖̮̲̞̣̻̜̠͇̬͚̱̦̼̲̮̀̂͌̍̈̒̍̋̌̏͐̓͛̉̂̈̀͑̈́͊͗͋͗́̂̎̎̃͆͒̅̑̇́̈͐̾̀̔̒̉͑͒̅̓̈́̋͋̀̍̄̿̌̀̉͆̇̔̈́͗̋̄̓̇͗̎̉̆͊̒͗̚̕͘͘̕̕̚͜͜͝͝͠͠͠͠͠ͅͅͅo̶̍̅̄͋͑̋̍̊̉̄̈̽̈͐̀͌͐̆͊͂̐̋͘͠��̢̡̧̨̡̛̛̛͔̦̼̰̠̯̰̟̲̣̜͙̲͙̪̱̱͕̺̪͈͉̺̻̙̥̲̩̲̩͔̠͚̩͓̞̠̯̟̫̣̗̦̰͉͚͙̺͎̼͖̥̙͈̯̲̝̞͎̻͕̮͔̰̖͔̭͙̩̼͔̫̹̘͓͔̜̘͍̎͆͛̐̀̂̿̈́͂́̈̌͐̇̀̒͋͑͐́͌̐̇̊͆̀͂͋̏́͋͆̏͗͂͑̂̓̽͘̚̕̕̕̕̚͘͜͜͝͝ͅͅͅr̴̨̨̨̧̨̛̘͕͈͔͙̠̬̯̩̗̰̗̬̦͈̗̝̣͓͓̟͕͙͈̠̘̻͓̭̝̘̦̦͓̭̘͙̻̙̼̩̰̝͈̱̝̱̬͉͙̣̖̮̲͈̙̱̩̣͕̦̰̮͔͈͓̙̮͍̳̟̠̞͎̱̣̰͕̩̝̲̝͐́́̍̈͐͋̐̑̌͋̓̈́̈͗̿̈̈́͗̑̚͜͜͜͜͜͝ͅͅţ̴̢̨̧͇͉͎̣̬̣̝̗̬̹͇̮̞̈́̐̌̇̈́̌͊̐̅̂̌̂͒͌́̈͌̂̊͗̍̿͑͋̎̓͂̀̎̎͒̾̏̒͌̃̄͋̌̾̍̈́̐̏͑̊̍͑͆̉̓́̆̌̾̓͊̊̈̑͘̚̕͘͘̕͝͝͝͝͝s̴̢̢̡̛̬̹͚̻͉̦̦̣̦̠̜͕̤̳͓͙̟̬͕̘̦̿͗̉̏̒͆̓̄͊͌͛͂͑̒̃͛͘͜͝͝!
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Honestly, probably bc Nightvale and Alice are by the Same Dudes, a lot of these points are the same as Alice Isn’t Dead, but it’s less scawy and more funney. Also hits the “horror, but make it kind of a sitcom” vibes. Doesn’t have the same road trip vibes, but DOES capture the exact weirdness of South Western USA, so I’m still giving it “fucked up americana” credit. If you’ve never been to New Mexico ur like this is an exaggeration clearly no desert town is subject to like ACTUAL cosmic horror and unexplainable sights but I’m telling you New Mexico is just Like That. (I highly recommend visiting the land of enchantment if you ever get the oppurtunity it is a deeply odd and wonderfully unsettling experience.) Look man it’s gay it’s a horror comedy cecil has a wonderfully soothing voice and it hates capitalism so fucking much like oh my god so much what more could you want.
MINI REC ALERT: Wolf 359! I have nothing deep to say about this I just like it and my gut tells me that y’all would enjoy it too I know there isnt much for physical descriptions in the show but I know in my heart that the main character is so so pretty and so so stupid. I KNOW yall like some himbos that experience character growth.
Okay since It’s my party and I’ll speak if I want to rapid fire list of podcasts I just like and want more people to listen to even though I’m behind on like all of them shhhhh: The Penumbra Podcast, BomBARDed, Dungeons and Daddies, Stellar Firma, Wonderful!
SONG RECS
okay these aren’t like replacement recs or anything they’re just really good and I almost certainly would have put them on some sort of supernatural playlist in 2013 but I don’t, like, have a good playlist for them now so I’m subjecting y’all to them also they all have the youtube link for ease of access
Woah There Kimmy- Felix Hagan & the Family
Devil’s Backbone- The Civil Wars
Blood On My Name- The Brothers Bright
Awake O Sleeper- The Brothers Bright
The Bottom of the River- Delta Rae
Old Number 7- The Devil Makes Three
The Bullet- The Devil Makes Three
In Hell I’ll Be In Good Company- The Dead South
Bartholomew- The Silent Comedy
Pomegranate Seeds- Julian Moon
Curses- The Crane Wives
Tongues & Teeth -The Crane Wives
OKAY THAT’S IT! THAT’S ALL FOLKS! FUCK!
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So I this are just a bunch of texts that I sent my cousin and I thought why not post it on Tumblr as well!
Please do not take this seriously this is just some really bad comedy. Hope you enjoy. (Also this does have swear words and I mean a lot of swear words so you have been warned.)
Ok I haven’t edit this at all so sorry for my grammar and sorry if this doesn’t make sense
So a new MLB episode came out and it’s a special? Idk to be honest but here are my thoughts cause I want you to watch it! So there is a fucking new intro! It reminds me of the old Barbie movies intros not gonna lie but I guess it’s kinda cool.
Ok so their flying abilities or powers or whatever look really weird and I don’t like them. Alya showing the camera back and forth gave me a headache.
Ok but Ladybugs knowing about roses and their meanings gives me fanfic vibes not gonna lie. Chat trying his best too whoo Ladybug and respecting their boundaries (which she made by the way) freaking adorable not gonna lie. Chat being flustered fuck I just realized how much I missed him. Ugh Ladybug’s soft look and as soon as she leaves Chat’s soft look fuck they are adorable omg. Ok Chat saying that he needs to give himself some flowers cause he is amazing. 100% agree 10/10 you deserve it. TREAT YO SELF!
Ugh definitely did not miss Marinette’s obsession with Adrien omg. She’s really trying to lie to tikki bro you’re with her all the time. You can’t lie to her plus she’s been alive since the beginning of the universe and you’re telling me you are honestly trying to lie to her. God damnit Marinette you are such a dumbass.
LMAO THE STUDENT FILM OH MY FUCKING GOD!! THAT’S SO FUNNY!
God damn I saw on tumblr people comparing Draco to Chloe and I’m like bro Draco is a meme and a great character. Chloe is a bitch who is so fucking annoying.
OMG THE TEACHER IS PREGNANT ALL SHE HAD TO SAY WAS I HAVE MEDICAL EXAMS AND I KNEW!!! FUCKKKK YESSSS A RED HEADED BABY!!!
Can you imagine there is a whole episode where the class has to take care of the baby (for whatever reason) and all of them freaking out cause this baby is too precious and Alya coming in and saving the day and being like guys calm down. It’s all good. Nino fucking going soft trying to help Alya as best as he can. Marinette and Adrien never doing this before so both of them are super flustered and nervous! God I WOULD LITERALLY KILL FOR THAT EPISODE NOW HOLY SHIT!!!
Ok damn Kim really ain’t holding back like chill dude. He really just told the principal that the science teacher isn’t cool. You tell that to your friends not the fucking principal. You dumbass.
LILA IS HERE FUCK!!! God not only do I have to deal with Chloe’s bullshit but Lila’s too omg. Ok idk if it’s the website that I’m watching it in but their voices sound weird and I hope it’s just the website and not the actual episode.
Marinette shut the fuck up ADRIEN WAS TALKING BITCH!!! YOU INTERRUPTED HIM!!! Lmao nice save Marinette talking about the film to distract everyone from the fact that you like Adrien. GOD DAMNIT ADRIEN’S SOFT LOOK FUCK!!! HE LOVES HER SO MUCH BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW IT YET OMG!!! GOD DAMN!!! Lmao Lila’s face! Yeah fuck you Lila! Bitchass!
So Marinette is telling everyone that she is over Adrien. Alya isn’t falling for this bullshit! Love that. Marinette, why are you lying just ask them to help you move on. Like I can see the effort but I don’t understand why you are lying about it if you aren’t completely over him. Like bruh. ALEX REALLY SAID “No kidding” to when Marinette said that she was acting crazy. YES ALEX QUEEN! CALL HER OUT! Marinette saying that she just wants to be friends with him and not in love with him. (ARE WE FINALLY GETTING THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT THAT WE ALL DESERVE HOLY SHIT IM LIVING!) Nope nvm she’s still on her bullshit. Did Alya just say that if Marinette will be ok with her and Adrien going to New York together because it may be too romantic. Like Bitch YOU GUYS LIVE IN PARIS! I'M SURE SHE WILL BE FINE!
FUCK YOU GABRIEL!! DIDN’T MISS YOU AT ALL YOU FUNKY ASS BITCH!!!
BRUH ANOTHER MIRACULOUS FOR REAL!!!
DAMN! Lmao Marinette trying to look tough that’s so funny to me! Who you trying to scare bitch cause you ain’t fooling anyone. Bruh Gabriel really friendzoned Marinette for Adrien lmao! Omg I love that. Fuck. I hate Gabriel so much.
I DIDN’T KNOW KIGMA WAS GOING TO BE IN THIS EPISODE!! YAY! EW WTF DID SHE JUST KISS HIM! ARE YOU KIDDING! WAIT WHEN DID THEY GET TOGETHER!! WTF! I DON’T REMEMBER THIS!
Marinette you are so annoying. Where’s Ladybug?! SHE’S SO MUCH BETTER! HOLY SHIT IT’S LADYBUG! OK BUT THAT SCENERY LOOKS SO ROMANTIC! Wait yeah both of them are going to New York like who is going to protect the city?! Oh shit nvm I’m a dumbass hawk moth is going too. Lmao! I’m an idiot! Ok BUT THAT WEIRD BUTTON THING IS ADORABLE OMG!!! AWWW! LIKE WTF!! I WANT ONE! BRUH HOW CAN SHE NOT LIKE CHAT NOIR WTF IS WRONG WITH HER!!! GODAMNIT!
Gabriel really said Surprise bitch to Adrien lmao. Damn poor Gorilla. I can’t believe he still doesn’t have a fucking name godamnit. Lmao I love plagg. Ew god damnit fuck you GABRIEL!
OMG LUKAAAAA! Marinette fucking date him already wtf. He is literally biking your stupid ass to catch up to the bus. GOD LUKA DESERVES BETTER! Marinette you always fucking ruin the moment fuck you. Fuck you. AGAIN LUKA DESERVES BETTER! Luka honey no don’t look at her like that you deserve better. Flashback to the perks of being a wallflower quote, “We accept the love we think we deserve” FUCK YOU BRAIN WHY YOU DO ME LIKE THIS!!
ALYA IS A TRUE FRIEND!!! Bro my friends would be laughing their ass off and making funny faces at the window instead of asking the teachers to stop the bus. HE WAS CARRYING HER SUITCASE TOO OMG! BRO LUKA HAS SOME STRONG ASS LEGS LIKE DAMN!!! Luka then says, “You know what’s important Marinette, that this trip gives you some clarity.” PLEASE GOD THAT SHE FALLS FOR CAT NOIR!!! PLEASE THAT SHE STARTS LIKING HIM!!! PLEASE! BITCH WHY KISS HIM ON THE CHEEK OMG WHY?! He likes you and you decide to kiss him on the cheek. Bro you are just making him fall for you more. Goddammit you are an idiot.
Bruh one look at Adrien and she becomes a tomato god damn. Am I being hard on Marinette cause she reminds me of me. NO WTF!!! Shut up! (At least I’m not a stalker or someone who gets obsessed with my crush in obnoxious ways.)
FUCK YOU CHLOE WE DIDNT WANT YOU TO COME YOU STUPID HOEEE!!!
I JUST REALIZED THIS IS A MOVIE!!! 12 minutes in and I just realized this is a movie. I AM AN IDIOT!!! God I’m so dumb lol. Ok this animation not gonna lie is kinda good.
He really yelled at Marinette in front of everybody in a plane huh. That’s so funny. Also he sounded like such a jock like wtf was that. Lmao Alya and Nino just looking at them like yessss our ship!!! (Alya and Nino are such a mood) This movie is literally like a fucking fan fiction. Adrien, “Oh yeah you’re sitting next to me!” Marinette fucking panicking. Omg this is literally a fanfic. I can’t! I love this omg. I LOVE ALYA SO MUCH OMG!!! Did Marinette just call Adrien her husband. YOU’RE LIKE 14 SHUT UP!!! PLEASE!!! How can you confuse husband with friend. Ok this just confirms that Marinette constantly daydreams to herself and tells herself that Adrien is her husband. Girl, GIRL YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HIM VERY WELL. SHE’S NOT EVEN IN LOVE SHE’S JUST FASCINATED WITH THE IDEA OF HIM. Ugh this is why I don’t like the idea of Marinette and Adrien or Ladybug and Adrien being together. Like she barely knows him and she counts that as love. Jesus. Lmao Gorilla has and will always ship Marinette and Adrien together. You can not change my mind.
Brooo if Marinette had a penis she would definitely have gotten a boner when Adrien fell on her. WHY IS MARINETTE LIKE THIS?! (Ok yes if my crush not that I have one but if I did I would probably do all the shit she is doing but I wouldn’t run away I would fucking just be in shock and freeze. Probably idk. THIS IS GIVING ME TO MUCH SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ACT NORMAL FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE.) Did Alya just say that “New York is the most romantic place in the world!” AGAIN YOU LIVE IN PARIS!!! OH SHIT NVM. I paused it too soon. She continues by saying, “After Paris obviously.” Ok my bad. Ok are we talking about the same New York cause New York isn’t that romantic. Then again what do I know. Marinette FUCK YOU!!! YOU COULD HAVE SAT WITH ADRIEN AND NOW YOU HAVE TO SIT WITH THE FUCKING PRINCIPLE. Lmao this is giving me fucking Spider-Man Far From Home flashbacks. Bro Adrien looks so disappointed. FUCK YOU MARINETTE! Bro gorilla is such a mood. Putting a 10 for both having a fear of flying and for needing relaxation. Wait why doesn’t he have eyebrows? I just realized that. I mean I knew but like I didn’t realize idk if that makes sense.
Dude the principal sleeping on Marinette THAT HAPPENED IN FAR FROM HOME!!! Wait a damn minute in Far From Home Peter lives in New York and goes somewhere in Europe (I forgot where) AND MARINETTE LIVES IN FRANCE AND SHE GOES TO NEW YORK!!! Not only that but these are both superhero movies and they are both in love with someone except here Marinette is trying to get over Adrien while Peter Parker was trying to win over MJ. OK SOMEONE ON THE CREATIVE TEAM LITERALLY WATCHED FAR FROM HOME AND SAID YES LET’S DO THIS BUT THE OPPOSITE. I CAN’T THIS IS SO FUNNY!
AWWWW Alya and Nino sleeping on each other IS EVERYTHING!!! I SHIP THEM SO MUCH!!! IVAN AND MYLENE TOO!!! THEY REALLY WANT TO KILL ME HUH!? WAIT ROSE AND JUELKA FUCK YESSS THE GAYS ARE WINNING!!! MY MULTISHIPPER HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS MUCH POWER ALL IN A MATTER OF SECONDS!!! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!!!
Dude I literally thought she said shit for a second I WAS LIKE WHAT?! But she said shoot. I really hope that’s not toilet water on her shirt. MARINETTE YOU HAVE A NAPKIN? OR TOILET PAPER ON YOUR HAIR?! GET THAT SHIT OUT OF THERE?!
Awww the sunset is so pretty. And Adrien is going to come in 3 2 1. Right on time. Adrien, “It's beautiful isn’t it?” I’m expecting Marinette to say, “Yeah but so are you.” and immediately regretting afterwards. Nvm she trips on him instead. Should have seen that coming. Ok now they are looking out the window again. This frame would be so cute if she didn’t have that stupid Toilet paper in her hair. Bruh Adrien just stands next to her and doesn’t even mention the Toilet paper on her hair. Adrien be like, “Yup just me and my fashionista friend Marinette looking at the window. Oh she has a piece of toilet paper in her hair. Damn must be a new trend I don’t know about. That’s kinda sus cause I am a model but whatever she knows more about fashion then I do so it’s all good.” (Not an actual quote.) Damn Alya and Nino ship them so much. Ok but what a mood!
Adrien says, “You're always willing to take a chance on something or someone even when no one else is.” Yeah bruh it’s because she is ladybug, I mean come on how do you not realize. Adrien really smirked at her whole shit! Adrien continues by saying, “You got something Marinette.” Marinette asks, “Something?” WAIT HOLD UP ISN’T HE DATING KAGAMI!!! WAIT IS MARINETTE A HOMEWRECKER!!! I’m kidding. Ok not really. Wait is Adrien a cheater like what?! Adrien continues by saying, “Yeah there in your hair.” He grabs the fucking piece of toilet paper. I LITERALLY FORGOT IT WAS THERE AND I BURST OUT LAUGHING!!! GOD I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!
Alya is a mood, “I can’t decide if they are the cutest people I know or the most embarrassing.” Literally me whenever I watch Miraculous ladybug. Also this literally sounds like something fanfic Alya would say. Not canon Alya. But I really love how they let Alya say that. Good call team! Omg Nino continues with, “Yeah I love Adrien but he is like a baby chick that just started cracking out of his egg he has a hard time understanding the signals people send them.” THIS LITERALLY SOUNDS LIKE A FANFIC AND I LOVE IT!!! OMG!!! I LOVE OPERATION NEW YORK OMG!!! YESSSSSSSS!!! ALYA AND NINO ARE LITERALLY OUR SAVIORS!!! GOD DAMN I LOVE THEM!!! ADRIEN HUGGED HER AWWWWW!!! I LOVE HIM!
THERE’S ANOTHER SUPER VILLAIN WTF!!! He really wants to kill the people huh. I mean he must be pure evil cause he literally is tearing the airplane apart. He really said: There's tons of people in this airplane huh. Welp I really need this technology so I guess they have to die!
DUDE WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GIRL? I can’t tell if she is a robot or a superhero! MAYBE BOTH!!! ALYA IS SUCH A SUPERHERO NERD I LOVE HER!!! OK this other girl superhero is literally captain marvel. She’s not Majestia (idk if that’s how you spell it) nah she’s captain marvel. LMAO WHEN CAPTAIN MARVEL MAKES AN APPEARANCE IN THE MLB MOVIE AND DOESN’T HAVE THE AUDACITY TO HELP OUT PETER PARKER IN HIS FIELD TRIP!! DAMN!!! SHE REALLY SAID FUCK YOU PETER! MLB FANDOM NEEDS ME MORE THAT YOU DO!! LIKE GURL PETER IS HAVING AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN CAUSE HIS 3rd father figure died!!! Then again she is saving an airplane fool of people but I’m sure you could have made a quick stop to give Peter some advice but whatever.
God I hate the principal.
CAPTAIN MARVEL REALLY SAID I HAVE TO SAVE MY ROBOT WIFE FROM THAT BOMB!! And she fucking blew the bomb away from her face. DUDE THERE IS SO MANY NEW SUPERHEROES HOLY CRAP!!! Ok including the Captain Marvel and the robot there’s 2 more but that’s more than Paris soooooo. WAIT CAPTAIN MARVEL JUST CALLED HER ROBOT DARLING!!! I was joking, I didn’t think they were together. OK I SHIP IT! Captain Marvel, “Are you alright darling?” (Giving me Spinderella and Netasha vibes not gonna lie) STOPPED IT TOO SOON!!! ROBOT JUST CALLED CAPTAIN MARVEL HER MOTHER!!! ABORT ABORT SHIP!!! I regret making all the comments that I just have made. So ignore them. I no longer ship them. Aw they have such a quote MOTHER AND DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP!!! They are hugging each other. Adorable.
Bruh Adrien and Marinette are talking openly to plagg and tikki like could you guys be more obvious. Like shut up.
So apparently there’s a superhero for everything in USA. Um I wish if there was USA wouldn’t be as shitty as it is now.
I love Nino and Alya, that's all I’m going to say.
Also the superheros have a code word for the French students and it’s literally ‘the little croissants’ I LOVE THAT OMG!!! WHO CAME UP WITH THAT CODE CAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!”
Ok turns out Robot girl can actually turn into a regular girl. SO THAT’S COOL!
How is it possible that Adrien and Marinette can’t figure out how the doors work like what?! Ok why the fuck is Adrien constantly catching Marinette every time she falls. Like he isn’t even close to her and he fucking races and catches her. Right he obviously doesn’t like her. Yup I definitely believe that bullshit.
Lmao the robot girl took one look at dumbass Marinette and stupidass Adrien and said, “Those 2 are made for each other.” That’s so funny. Ok robot girl is friends with a girl that has some weird ass earrings (dare I say lesbian). And they both are in school so I’m pretty sure they are the same age. SO I SHIP THEM!!! Grumpy girlfriend and super happy robot girlfriend. ADORABLE!
Lmao they are already going to a party bruh. They just got off of a plane and they almost died. And you’re telling me that they aren’t slightly jet lagged or even a little tired. Bruh come on.
DAMN SABRINA IS GONNA GET A LOVE INTEREST OKKKKKKKK!!! He literally winked at her and she went bright red. DAMN GURL GET IT!!! CHLOE FUCK OFF!!! SABRINA IS GONNA GO FLIRT WITH THE GUY AND NOT BE YOUR STUPID ASSISTANT!!! FUCK YOU!!! GOD DAMNIT CHLOE, SABRINA, MARINETTE AND ALYA ARE ROOMATES BRUHHHHH!!! (And they were roommates- OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES NOT NOW BRAIN PLEASE)
Bro the teacher looks at the hallway and nods cause she notices that all the lights are off in the room and no one is talking and she leaves. And immediately all the doors open and everyone is sneaking off to the party. BROOO THIS REMINDS ME OF NHI LOL!!! So the teacher suddenly pops out and asks what’s that noise and they all go into different rooms. The teacher doesn’t notice. And of course Marinette goes into the room with Adrien but on accident, and for a second I thought she was touching his pee pee but no she was just touching his lower stomach lol. They both look at each other and Marinette gets flustered and Adrien smiles softly at her. And she immediately gets away from him and they end up in the same room as ROBOT GIRL AND HER LESBIAN GIRLFRIEND!!! Robot girl is shipping them so hard while her girlfriend is glaring at them.
HER GIRLFRIEND CAN PLAY GUITAR YESSSSS!!!
SABRINA GO TO THE PARTY PLEASE!!! DITCH CHLOE!!! FLIRT WITH THE AMERICAN!!! THE AMERICAN IS FUCKING STANDING OUTSIDE THE WINDOW!!! WAITING FOR HER OMG!!! He takes her hand AND TAKES HER TO THE ROOF PARTY!!! FUCK I SHIP THEM SO HARD!!!
Omg the dialogue in this movie is fucking amazing. Marinette says, “Is it a bird?” Adrien, “Is it a plane?” Sabrina’s soon to be boyfriend, “No IT’S HOT DOG DAN!” Like bitch why is the hot dog cart flying like wtf?! Dude is this how French people see Americans because you know what?! THAT SOUNDS about right. If USA ever gets superhero’s we PROBABLY WOULD HAVE A SUPERHERO WHO SERVES FUCKING HOT DOGS!!! Damn this movie is pretty fucking realistic. The Americans are fucking thirsty for some hot dogs they literally run over Adrien and Marinette like damn ok yes a lot of Americans like hot dogs but we aren’t animals. Turns out the hot dogs are magical. ROSE LITERALLY GOT SUPER STRENGTH AND WAS ABLE TO LIFT UP IVAN!!! QUEEN!!! AW Sabrina got long ass hair like Rapunzel but it’s brown for some reason.
There’s 2 hot dogs left and Nino take initiative and pays for the hot dog and says, “Not a problem. My girl and I can have one and you 2 can have the other.” Damn this really is a fanfic huh. Then again I doubt a fanfic would have them sharing a fucking magical hot dog. Lol! This movie is nuts. They ate the hot dogs (nvm they took a bite of the hotdog and they dropped it on the floor) and they started floating. They grab hands and they are trying not to freak out.
Meanwhile ALYA AND NINO ALL THE FUCKING GET IS THESE HIGH PITCHED VOICES LIKE BRUH. Also Nino ships them so much omg! BRUH HOT DOG DAN EVEN SHIPS THEM! I mean he doesn’t say anything he just looks at them and smiles.
Omg Alya asked Robot’s girlfriend to set the mood with a song! And Robot’s girlfriend is like yeah sure thing. This movie is surreal.
THE SONG IS LITERALLY THE SONG THAT THEY DANCED TOO AT CHLOE’S PARTY OMG!!! I can’t believe I remembered that.
Bruh Adrien literally just repeated what I typed. HE JUST ASKED MARINETTE IF SHE COULD DANCE WITH HIM!!! They are floating and the moon is shining bright on them (Nice job Yue; setting the scene for us I see) and he extends his hand. She starts floating backwards cause she’s freaking out (What a surprise 😒). He grabs her hand and brings her closer to him. WHAT FANFIC AUTHOR WAS ABLE TO GET A FUCKING HIGH BUDGET TO MAKE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE THIS DOESNT FEEL LIKE AN MLB EPISODE!!!
ALSO Marinette is looking at Adrien in a way that makes her look like a Tim burton cartoon character lol. SHE FINALLY GIVES IN AND DANCES WITH HIM IN FRONT OF THE MOON!!! (They aren’t even dancing to be honest they are literally just hugging each other really closely and spinning) BUT ITS ADORABLE SO I FORGIVE THEM!
Lmao they zoom out of the roof party and you just see in the fucking corner Kim and some other dude having a push-up contest. They showed that in the beginning when Alya, Nino, Marinette and Adrien were entering the party. I just wasn’t expecting that in this whole time Kim and the other guy still continued the push-up contest omg. (This is the first 29 minutes and my hand is tired sooo I’m not gonna write anymore)
If anyone wants me to continue I will but I doubt anybody is going to see this post so yeah! Anyway if someone actually read this PROPS TO YOU DUDE!!! HOPE I DIDNT WASTE YOUR TIME!!! HAVE A GOOD YEAR!!!
Edit: I think Robot girl and girl with weird earrings are sisters soooooo I don’t ship them anymore. (I’m honestly really confused are they siblings or not?!)
#mlb spoilers#mlb#miraculous ladybug#shit post#Marinette#marinette dupain cheng#please don’t take this seriously#this is just me messing around#adrein agreste#shit I forgot their ship names#that’s how long I haven’t been in this fandom omg#ok let’s hope I don’t fuck this up#adrinette#ladrien#cat bug#is that even ladybug’s and Car noir’s ship name#oh shit no it isn’t#ladynoir#Nino#Alya#fuck gabe#fuck Gabriel agreste#fuck Lila
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tua rewatch 3
why are we five years ago? oh wait it's vanya's book time. [montage of all the siblings reading the book] is klaus reading it iN GROUP THERAPY? dhjsjs ben getting offended.
[vanya being late for orchestra] mood. helen's pretty. her name's helen right? i think she's a big deal later.
[tape of grace murdering hargreeves] me too grace me too. [luther and allison being alarmed and distressed] tfw ur robot ma turns out to be a murderer
okay but grace and patch are Carrying This Show
[grace listing off stats about the day hargreeves died] me too grace me too.
[allison and luther Looking at each other] "i'm not asking a robot if it has feelings, luther" [”were you ever angry at dad?”] that passive aggressive household activity. me when my friends ask if i'm resentful about having raised my little brother.
[patch at the clothes shop crime scene] go eudora. [diego makes a comment about her liking leather] diego be less creepy challenge.
[vanya and helen bathroom scene] oh so helen's a bitch okay. [”find something you’re actually passionate about”] oh wait she might be another psychoanalysis queen.
[cha cha with the straighteners] did. are you. oh right cauterising. ok. hazel and cha cha have a nice dynamic.
[five climbing out of the fire escape] five is just. half his lines are So Painfully thirteen-year-old. [klaus ‘finds’ the bagel] that bagel is very clean. [five steals a van] stakeout time. also did that guy leave his keys in the ignition? that was a suspiciously quick hotwire if not.
[allison tells luther about what happened with claire] oh i'm feeling for allison again. tbf i asked my mum and she said "yep u sucked i would've done that". [”i don’t know if any of my life is really mine”] it's that imposter syndrome. ugh i love her so much. but shoutout luther for trying to be helpful.
[leonard does aNtIqUE rEStOrATioN] ugh that's a red flag. [”well, [making statues] is kind of embarrassing”] all his self-deprecation is so obviously fake. wait maybe i'm just cynical. or gay. [violinist statuette] that's creepy that's creepy that's creepy [”here, have it”] don't take it. don't.
i'm gonna hurl. where's that gif of the gay best friend. "love him? you met him THURSDAY"
[this one. from here.]
[allison turns up] shoutout allison for apologising and also for trying to be a better sister. [also shoutout allison for keeping vanya from making terrible life decisions for an extra episode] literally allison + vanya being sisters is my jam. more of that please.
[five watches a bunch of kids playing football and i think about the fact that he lost his entire childhood to an abusive douchebag and the apocalypse] oh o w my heart. [he has a flashback] oh Ow. [luther struggles to get in the car] jdjsjds [klaus dancing with delores] klaus that is your SISTER IN LAW have some respect. [wE fOuNd cLUes aBoUT dAd] no one cares luther. [they kick klaus out of the van] this whole scene is wonderful. peak comedy. [”you think you’re better than us”] luther coming in with the psychoanalysis except it's off because men are shit at psychology. [klaus shoplifts] me too five. me too.
honestly most of the comedy with klaus comes from his actions rather than his actual lines. they're a bit "uwu random XD" 2013 tumblr for me. but other characters watching him do crazy bullshit without really reacting? golden.
[hazel and cha cha go to griddy’s] time for the only straight couple that gets rights.
e l a b o r a t e
honestly if a girl was explaining how she makes donuts to me i'd fall in love too. i'm claiming hazel for the lesbians folks.
cha cha here to cockblock. [”that most certainly was not his father.”] cha cha out here coming up with The best cover stories. she really is an icon.
[agnes draws two (2) half circles instead of a full circle] that's cursed.
[family meeting about the grace tape] time for another fight over literally nothing. [”she just stood there, diego, and watched out father die”] i would too tbh. [”she shouldn’t get a vote” / “i was going to say i agree with you!” / “she gets a vote!”] me too diego. me too.
grace is Carrying This Show
[”sometimes i look at her and all i see is dad”] well that's some trauma. [they chat a bit more] i think once they move past the book problem, diego and vanya would be Iconic snarky bros.
ok that was a cool way to transition into a flashback. vanya's room is so small wtf. [klaus laughing at an on fire desk] does klaus have fire powers as well? or is he just That Way. grace is literally the best i love her.
[diego asks grace about if she ever wanted hurt hargreeves] okay i feel for diego a little bit now. also we stan murdering your abuser. diego. just. [idk what this was about but it’s par for the course]
grace is Carrying This Show
[hazel and cha cha get to the mansion] he's not there guys. oooh dramatic portrait [”that’s our kid”] hazel and cha cha adopt five from the apocalypse au [ghosts in the bath scene] klaus doesn't have powers he just has an auditory processing disorder. this is literally what everything sounds like all the time.
soundtrack time. this is gna b sick.
[luther and allison in the window] aw luther misses the moon. i love this little monologue thingy. why does everyone hate luther again? [they hear gunshots] hazel and cha cha rights for keeping that scene platonic. again with the freezeframes [cut to grace humming to herself] grace gets rights
[diego and luther arguing] can you lot be functional for long enough to make sure the bad guys are actually dealt with [vanya gets clattered] oh no.
SOUNDTRACK TIME.
[klaus wandering between rooms with headphones on] klaus is a Fat auditory processing disorder mood during this whole sequence. [”this bitch just made me angry”] allison is an icon and i'd die for her. [diego and cha cha face off with a pool cue and a table football bar] ooh how dramatic swishy swishy with your not-swords.
[luther smacks hazel to the ground] get him luther. [hazel flips him ass-over-tea-kettle] well damn ok hazel. go the fuck off.
[cha cha drops the chandelier] i feel like he had enough time to also get out of the way.
bro u could literally just shave if it bothered u that much.
[”oh, shit, mom”] oh yeah diego's about to kill their mother. [he cuts her arm open] oh ew. that's creepy as shit. grace is still carrying this entire show though.[”just picture the word in your mind”] i don't like this. at all.
[”hey, are you okay”] allison and vanya sisterly bonding moment. [”what is she even doing here”] oh my god diego can you not be a fucking dickhead for ten fucking seconds.
[shot of luther in the mirror] ok maybe he couldn't just shave.
[vanya shows up at leonard’s because she “dIDn’T knOw wHeRe elSe To gO”] VANYA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LIKE THIS YOU HAVE A WHOLE ENTIRE FLAT WHAT THE F U C K.
[he stopped to get a jelly donut] hazel rights.
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ahh yay u reblogged that ask thing i was hoping u would. ok so. yue/yueki (whichever ud prefer!), azula, bakoda :)
omfg leo <33 this makes me happy ok buckle up for a massive post
yue
how I feel about this character
when i first watched avatar i didn’t rly get her,, like i couldn’t get invested,,
but the more i think about her the more i love her
she is so kind,, so good,, deserves the world,,,,
all the people I ship romantically with this character:
sokka (not to be heterosexual but they were rlly cute onscreen okay)
suki (the vibes!!!!)
katara (moon <3 and <3 ocean <3 gfs <3)
my non-romantic OTP for this character:
yue x a long, happy life leading the northern water tribe and smashing the patriarchy
my unpopular opinion about this character
i can’t think of anything because nobody ever talks about her!! she’s so slept on :(
one thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon
it would’ve been cool if she joined the gaang,, i just love that idea sm. she would’ve brought one more braincell too and they Need That
my OTP
probably yuetara bc i just love that thing where u ship two characters who are foils to each other... very good, usually gay...
but honestly i’m only just opening my eyes to the wonderful world of atla wlw ships so my opinion is yet to be solidified
my cross over ship i don’t do crossover ships lol i find it hard enough gauging whether two characters have chemistry onscreen u cannot expect me to extrapolate it across media
a headcanon fact
i think yue probably hated pakku and she was goddamn right
azula
how I feel about this character
listen i skipped this q bc i couldn’t unpack it enough and honestly later on in the post i wrote two entire essays of how i feel about azula so just read that
all the people I ship romantically with this character
nobody, she needs to heal
my non-romantic OTP for this character
azula x therapy
my unpopular opinion about this character
idk if this is unpopular exactly and it’s gonna take some explaining
basically i went into the show (bc i only watched it for the first time a few weeks ago lol) expecting that she would be a Bad Bitch™ bc everyone’s like,,, simping for her
anyway
that’s not what she is?? like at all???
and at first i did not like her and i was like why does anyone like her even a little bit she’s literally just an agent of fascism and imperialism
and while watching the finale i finally was like Oh.
she’s an abused child. and all she ever learned how to do was manipulate and fight and make war
and she literally never recieved love from anyone
i just don’t understand how you can look at her character and think “yass queen” OR “she’s a crazy bitch”
i am fervently on team Uncomfy When People Idolize Canon Azula But I Desperately Want Her To Heal
one thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon
realistically, her redemption/healing arc would be messy and complicated and not at all linear and hard to make into a compelling tv storyline
and any “redemption arc” that would be compelling children’s television would not be Good Enough For Me
and unpopular opinion i don’t think it would serve the story to add an addendum of book 4
so no i don’t want the atla writers to concoct an Azula Redemption Arc
but i want the characters in canon to save a little space in their heart for her
for someone she has not directly hurt to see her circa sozin’s comet and say, “this is not the warmaking machine ozai tried his best to make, this is a deeply hurt child”
someone like iroh
scratch that “someone” shit i want iroh. i want iroh to hold space in his heart for his niece, to see that she is not a lost cause. please. you did it for zuko please do it for her
my OTP:
azula x therapy
my cross over ship
a headcanon fact
lesbian.
obviously.
bakoda (which is honestly at this point my actual otp i am fully subsumed)
when I started shipping it if I did
honestly idk? i think i got it from a tumblr post lol i was like “oh? we ship these two? excellent” and just Ran With It
my thoughts
the Old Gays vibes are immaculate. the yearning. the fighting beside one another. the raising children. perfect in every way
what makes me happy about them
that they can grow old together, happily, in their home, in a world at peace...... God
what makes me sad about them
the idea of bato just... pining... for years... the Angst
if we’re talking canonverse then i love mining bato’s injury for angst just consider the possibilities: bato feeling abandoned at the abbey... bato thinking hakoda will never love him if he’s left less mobile... bato not properly taking care of himself
i just have so many emotions about bato someone stop me
things done in fanfic that annoys me:
just straight up ignoring kya or even worse, kya slander, like,, she and hakoda were also in love
((i may or may not have literally done that in one of my fics and still have weird feelings abt it but it was 600 words of fluff so))
things I look for in fanfic
literally ANYTHING i will read any fanfic that has bakoda as a tag, bakoda nation is all about the crumbs
but for real. the yearning. all of the pining. they need to spend years in love with each other without saying a goddamn word
also if it wasn’t clear from my fics,,, whenever a bakoda fic includes kya i Love that shit. makes me go all heart eyes emoji. i love her. i love her so much i need more kya content
bato/hakoda/kya ot3 content is so blessed,, i see bato as gay probably but i can vibe with bisexual or it can be a v configuration
who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other
hakoda with kya, obviously
my happily ever after for them
growing old together.......... just being old queer dads in love...... please i love them so much this is giving me Emotions
who is the big spoon/little spoon
bato is the big spoon he’s like a foot taller than hakoda and hakoda just wants to be Held
what is their favorite non-sexual activity
there’s a bakoda fic on ao3 where the tags “burn scar care” and “mutual pining” are adjacent and uh yeah. That.
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a fic with brendon dallon and breezy is revolting it’s obvious they don’t like b or at least want to do some serious damage to his reputation
i was talking about vices era fic of them, but ok. for goodness sake, their kids used to call b and spencer uncle. the four (her, b, sarah, dallon) used to joke around together sexually, she’s reblogged brallon posts on her tumblr vices and twtl era, and i’ve no doubt she was (is?) familiar with and at least was supportive of fandom’s shipping of dallon and brendon, including threesome things involving her.
breezy even now has repeatedly said she’s talking about zack, not b eg that she won’t speak for b, when she’s discussing zack and management she’s not talking about b, that she stands by most of the zack allegations but implies she’s incredulous about most of what’s being said about b, etc. breezy has also said she’s got a lot of dirt on zack, some of which she’s hinted at, and she could definitely be dragging down zack a lot more heavily and more explicitly than she is eg i shudder to think about how she knows that zack fetishizes amputees, what zack said and/or showed to her. she’s actually exercising a lot of restraint considering what she knows/has experienced, what evidence she still has access to, and the crap she’s getting from much of fandom.
the closest she’s come to saying b was guilty of any accusations was in a private convo (that was posted for a short time before being deleted because breezy asked for it to be taken down) that she had with a woman who claimed that she was talking with b, and had a friend who was abused by b online eg got her to send him nudes then spread them around, gaslit her, told people she was crazy, the sadistic sexual convos she was subjected to, etc. this is the situation that turned out to be a catfisher (probably chelsey) and breezy seemed to cautiously think those two women were credible. which in a sense, they were, because it did happen to them, but not by b. they were abused, and honestly thought it was him, but it was not him.
hell, when lana (who was casually involved with him in 2007) came out, saying she was talking with b (she later said it was catfishing and not b), that he did the same things to her, etc I went a bit scorched earth on his ass and believed lana, kat, and the others that thought they were talking online with b. because i believed lana and talked to her about it (you can see screenshots online or check out my side of the convo and the parts she didn’t delete of hers after she learned it was a catfisher on my twitter if you want), does that mean i hate b or want to do damage to his reputation?
lana also says that most of that open letter from 07 was mostly untrue, not written by her, and contained inside jokes that someone who knew both her and b wrote. she did say things with b weren’t great, but isn’t clear on what happened then and wants to let it go. if she did come out with specifics, i would believe her. this is the part of the allegations over this summer that gives me the most pause, i find the most potentially concerning (eg credible, most of the accusations are anonymous accounts that were sometimes deleted the same day or “someone i talked to said this” or from shane morris or things easily debunked or a matter of interpretation/analysis or differences in opinion/politics. there are also some things i find upsetting that haven’t been brought up publicly, aside from me that he’s said) and i wish we did know, but lana’s privacy and life now should be what’s respected over finding out what happened.
i think her views on b are more complicated than people think, regardless of how those people think about her (eg she’s long gotten a lot of flak by panic fandom) or about b (eg if they’re now on the cancel b train or not). the latest dallon has said anything about b afaik is him saying they were still friends, they got along, etc. for one, if breezy hated b she wouldn’t have said this last month.
(from this screenshot, by a fan of b/panic worried about zack and b’s friendship. i don’t think the original post is up still)
this sounds like someone worried about him, who wished better for him. it also sounds like she’s sad that zack/the situations with zack that breezy and dallon had pushed them away from b. if she wanted b to crash and burn and hated him, she would want b to stay involved with zack, wouldn’t care about the friendships zack had cost him, she wouldn’t think zack was a bad influence on b but just someone who brought out what he truly was or even that b was the bad influence on zack, etc. it also makes me wonder what b would be like had he never met zack and/or have never had him longterm in his life, and i wouldn’t be surprised if breezy wondered the same thing.
i don’t think it’s as simple as b would be an guileless harmless untouched by internalized masculinity/male entitlement little angel if it were not for zack’s bad influence, but i definitely think b shapes himself, emphasizes certain aspects of himself according to who he is with/is talking to (eg do we think b acts the same with zack vs sarah vs taylor swift vs male friends on twitch. or young female fans vs female fans his own age vs gay/bi male fans vs casual hetero bro-y male fans...? i think not, for better and for worse). and the more one acts like a “typical male” eg sexually violent language, misogynist language, porn, male entitlement, etc the more one becomes one.
also, all sorts of things are being said and spread around now, including the assertion that b regularly exposed his genitals on stage at shows! it’s not breezy’s job or responsibility to go chasing all these accusations down and debunking them. if anything, her doing so would draw far more attention to them. it might even get more people believing he’s done all these things and that these interpretations are accurate eg about g/g/b and how what b and dallon have said about it has been twisted (i don’t think it should be their gay anthem, i think hurricane should be haha, but i can recognize that most of what is said about it by b haters is bunk), how b supposedly fetishizes bi women because he is drawn to them eg openness, knowing what and who they like. (see aside at the end.) i wasn’t going to link to that one and draw more attention to it but it is so patently ridiculous and easily proven to be false i couldn’t resist. this is how easily some people will believe and spread things, and no doubt some people will see that post and believe parts of it, including that one. indeed, they already have.
the truth is a lot more complicated than b is the best innocent angel vs is a sexual predator, breezy is a truthtelling queen vs horrible vengeful bitch dragging even b down, although i think it’s clear i like breezy and find her very credible. hell, if she disclosed things about b i’d believe her, but she has been clear that she’s not talking about him eg the gaslighting post. i’d default believe anyone who put their name and/or face to accusations involving them by default, with an open mind to more evidence coming forth to support or discredit the allegation. it’s sad to see that the only person actually trying to delve into these accusations is really, really wrapped up in b and seeing him as a pure angel. (and i thought i was unobjective and too “my sweet soft innocent lil boy” about b.) most others just... accept them, either to disbelieve it all or to believe it all as The Truth. we don’t even know if someone who is the age they say they are is behind them. for all we know, a 40 year old man mad that his daughter is obsessed with b could be behind those twitter anon accusations. hell, chesley or another stalker/catfisher could be behind some. shane morris could be lying (which is likely), or could have been duped himself. we don’t even know *who* made those accusations, let alone have had a fact checking process to verify them (indeed, we couldn’t have for the most of the assault accusations, eg the anonymous accusers are unknown so can’t verify that they were where they say there were). samantha has done some good work around this, and seems to be the only one trying to do fact finding work, but again, is the opposite of impartial. it would be good to see an impartial, proper fact checking source do what they can around this.
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(everyone has preferences ffs. i prefer bi men. does that mean i fetishize bi men? i honestly think a lot of teens and early 20s people think having sexual preferences or orientations around others’ sexual orientation, sex, personality, body types, etc is somehow bigotry and fetishization inherently. that a man being attracted to heavier/curvier women over thin is BIGOTRY AND DEHUMANIZING FETISHISM HOW DARE HE. that a woman only wanting to date other lesbians, or fellow butches, or... is BIGOTRY HOW DARE SHE. lesbians are such oppressors!!! that everyone must be open to being attracted to, dating, having sex with, etc everyone, and only maybe gender preferences or hard lines is ok, and gender is understood to be what someone calls themselves, with some fashion thrown in. and of course, phallocentricism, being into dick only, etc is still mostly ok, and males get to have a sexual orientation if they say so eg can only be interested in females not males, eg (to use the lingo so it’s understood) trans women are allowed to say they only want to date/have sex with “cis” women, or men can say they’re only into “cis” women. but females? how dare they. everyone knows females are supposed to be uwu soft subby bisexuals/pansexuals into personality and open to everyone who wants them and not have boundaries or a sexuality, sexual orientation of their own... my dear sweet summer children...
it’s also interesting that this belief goes hand in hand with being against the evil bigotry of kink shaming. so male sadism is a-ok, no matter how extreme, damaging, injurious, violent, cruel, etc as long as he can get someone to comply, but a woman only being into other females and vulva? genital fetishist!!! suddenly, kink/sexuality shaming is a ok)
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I wonder how marlenemckinn can actually write with your head so far up her ass. You rec and reblog her fics all the time and gush about her so much. Is this another crush? There's lots of other writers in the fandom that could use the recs from a big blog like yours. Use your popularity to help other writers please. I do love your writing but you reblog the same writers over and over and then fangirl over some writers and rp'ers like you're a teenager.
Nonny, did you ever think maybe I like eating ass? ;-)
Ah, where to start with this lovely ask? Let’s start with @marlenemckinn. I absolutely do gush over her and her fics because I love them. I’ve been a fan of her work for a really long time and only found her tumblr a few months ago and you’d better believe I gushed at her. She’s talented, has extremely diverse fics, is my Queen of the Wolfstar AU and if you follow my blog you know I get a massive hard-on for AU’s. She writes my OTP beautifully and in any setting and trope she does. I’ve also been lucky enough to get to know her a bit and she’s sweet and funny and just a lovely person. What’s not to gush about and fan-girl over?
You talk about me gushing over people as if in order to do it has to be a crush. First of all, having a crush, even a fandom crush, is not a bad thing even though you seem to think it is. For the record, I do not have a crush on @marlenemckinn, but I definitely get a lady boner for her writing and her posts. ;-)
Since you seem to follow me you know that’s what I do; I gush about people. I’ve always been a fan-girl from the time I was like 9 and crazy for Menudo and when I was 15 and dying over the New Kids on the Block. Hey, give me a break, I’m old, remember? The point is that I’ve always been a fan-girl and I do love to shower praise on my favorite fanfic writers and RP’ers. They work hard and deserve to be praised and gushed over.
There’s always a rise and fall of nasty stuff in fandom and right now we seem to be going through a big rise in nasty anons. Why not spread some love and positivity when and where you can? This fandom is blessed with a plethora of really talented creators and as someone who really likes to give praise (why yes, I do have a praise kink, thank you very much) and make others feel proud and happy about the things they enjoy, I’m going to continue doing just that. It feels good when someone compliments you about something you’ve done and when I enjoy someone’s art, their writing, their RP or even just who they are as a person, you had better believe I am going to sing their praises from the rooftops if I can. I don’t see why that’s a problem. This is who I am in real life as well as online. I won’t change and won’t apologize for it.
Now let’s address another point you made. My popularity and helping other writers with it. What makes you think I’m popular? My blog has a really decent following but it’s only ¼ of what @captofthesswolfstar has and even half of what @padfootlupinblack has and that dork doesn’t even publish his writing. lol I have no idea where the notion that I’m a “big blog” came from. Maybe it’s because I’m friends with some of the people who are considered to be “big blogs”, but I honestly don’t know where that perception came from. I’m just a massive dork who writes gay porn about fictional characters and proclaims her love for other dorks.
I have a very busy life offline and my time to read fics is really limited. Of course the first fics I read are going to be authors I already know and love. Of course I’m going to rec those fics. However, I regularly read new writers as well as lots of recs that come my way. I always make a point of asking for recs and encouraging new writers or writers that might be flying under the radar to dm me their work or to send me links. I love finding new Wolfstar writers and recc’ing them. I do it all the time. If you look under my fic recs tag I’ve got tons of recs by well known writers and some you might not have heard of. If I like the fic it gets recc’d.
But if I don’t know about it how can I rec it or even read it?
I really hate this thing where the “big blogs” have to feel pressure to help new creators. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but no one has to help anyone get more readers or followers. Most blogs with a larger following do rec newcomers and love to do so. But it’s not their responsibility to do so.
I have had this blog for almost 5 years and the first few years I was lucky to have 100 followers and I was thrilled to have that. You mean 100 people want to hear the nonsense I spew? DAMN. I’ve worked hard with my writing, I’ve tagged other blogs to share my work and I post all the time. It’s how I built my following and my readership for my fics. I have zero shame in promoting myself or my work because I want it to be seen. BUT, if another blogger or writer isn’t doing the same thing and fly under my radar, how is it my job to help promote them when I don’t know they exist?
I really appreciate your comment about my writing and I’m happy you enjoy it, but this ask really threw me for a loop. It’s not hateful per se, but it’s really not nice is it? Bottom line is I’m going to keep gushing, keep recc’ing, and keep spreading the love I have for other creators and yelling my praises at them because that’s who I am. Like it or not.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to change positions because having my head so far up @marlenemckinn‘s ass can get a bit uncomfortable for both of us and I need that woman to crank out another chapter of her fic for me. ;-)
#FFS#I just can't even deal with this ask#it's insane#what's wrong with praising people?#and you know what?#what if I do like eating ass?#dont' kinkshame people#I won't change#and you shouldn't expect me to#want me to rec your fics?#send them to me!#I'm not actively looking for new writers#but love when I find them
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You've probably said this before but what's your favorite aspect of the TOG series? I've only read like ten pages of the first book lol
aaaaa thank u for asking!! this sort of leads into something i’ve been meaning to talk about for a while so i hope you’re prepared for An Essay No One Wanted By Me. anyway this is a two-part answer, read below:
1. Aelin. Celaena. The main bitch, whatever you wanna call her lol. Without her I probably wouldn’t have cared about the series at all and wouldn’t currently be trapped in ToG tumblr hell reluctantly stanning a racist and homophobic series, but unfortunately when I was like twelve years old or whatever and read the first book I literally imprinted on Celaena like a baby duckling. To the extent that she became, like, the default avatar for all my maladaptive daydreaming and If I Don’t Project On Her At All Times I Will Die. It’s not like she’s the only thing I like about the series (I loooove a lot of the other characters, especially the gals, and the writing can be really great and engaging and cinematic) but Aelin has always been the supermassive black hole at the center of it all for me. I wouldn’t know how to even begin untangling her character from my psyche at this point. It’s honestly a little disturbing. Anyway.
2. Part two is a quality of the series that I feel was unprecedented in its strength in the first five books of the series (ToG-QoS plus the prequel novellas) and really really disappointingly weak in the last two books (EoS-KoA). Like I said above, Aelin has always been my main interest in tog so I read and enjoyed the last two anyway, but I definitely felt the loss of this - “this” being the detail and attention paid to all different types of relationships between characters, and how rich and unpredictable those relationships were as a result.
That sounds like kind of a broad, vague thing, but what I mean is that (in my opinion) rarely are romances and friendships and rivalries explored with such nuance, complexity, drama, and realism in most YA as they are in ToG. I remember reading Cassandra Clare’s books (lmao.) as a pre teen and loving those as well, but totally being able to predict who was going to end up with who, and finding the character dynamics to be pretty cut and dry.
In ToG that’s not the case at all. Like, you’ve got Celaena and Sam, a really complex example of enemies to lovers to….. Tragically Dead Boyfriend Whose Demise Fuels My Guilt and Self-Hatred For Seven More Books, Lysandra and Aelin, two girls pitted against each other by their abuser who team up a year later to unlearn their internalized misogyny and kill him, and Aelin and Chaol, who… how do I even describe the ups and downs (and downs. and more downs) of their relationship.
And that’s just three pairs! Pull the names of two characters out of a hat and I can almost guarantee essays worth of material could be written about them. Arobynn and Aelin? Aelin and Nehemia? Chaol and Dorian, as much as I hate both of them and feel that their relationship as been widely mischaracterized? All fascinating!!! No two people in those first few books are just friends, or just lovers, or just enemies. It’s always more complex, there’s always a history or tension or competing agendas or viewpoints that Fuck Shit Up.
And benefit of that is twofold: one, everything that happens between the characters just…. lands so well. The betrayals and triumphs and losses and victories of The Assassin’s Blade and Crown of Midnight and Queen of Shadows (especially TAB) are fucking heart-stopping. It’s great character-driven entertainment!! Gripping and engaging and vivid to the point of being painful.
And two, there’s no way to predict where a relationship is going to go. Aelin and Lysandra teaming up in QoS instead of returning to their rivalry? Who would have thought! Ansel and Celaena’s summer fling (they were in love. fight me.) ending like That? Holy fuck. Nesryn and Chaol breaking up in ToD? Oh shit! I fell for it again! Rowan and Aelin ending up together after everyone swore they were brotp in HoF? Hell yeah! Chaolaena seeming like endgame and then ending forever, with Chaol and Aelin realizing that the rift between them that began in CoM was something that would never sufficiently heal? Unprecedented. Fucking badass for a YA book to curve everyone like that. Tween me was shook out of her mind.
(Important to note, though, that the downside of this style was that SJM couldn’t tell where ~unpredictable relationships and characters~ ended and fridging began, and as a result, not one but two woc were killed off to make white characters sad and it sucked beyond belief).
Aaaaaand then QoS, the peak of literature, turned into EoS, and SJM just… gave up on all of that. I remember the first time Dorian and Manon met, and I was like oh, okay. So they’re going to end up together. And I was right. I remember that on this site, before EoS came out, before Lorcan and Elide ever fucking MET, people predicted the existence of Elorcan!! And they were right!! Like how fucking boring? Everyone is just paired off into completely predictable heterosexual ships and those are now the only relationships we get to read about (with a few exceptions, like Aelin/Aedion, Aelin/Fenrys, etc.).
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: my least favorite thing about Manorian is not that I find the relationship to be shitty (although I do, I really do). It’s that Dorian is suddenly the only character Manon gets to interact with in any meaningful way.
Like, are you kidding?! I want to read about Manon and Elide, Manon and Asterin, Rowan and Lorcan, Aelin and Lysandra, Aelin and Nesyrn, even if it’s not romantically (although some of them, like Manon and Elide, absolutely should have been, and the fact that not only was that ship very thoroughly sunk, but also they didn’t even get to TALK after QoS, felt like a real slap in the face to gay fans, but I digress), because those pairings previously had hella complexity and drama. But we don’t get to.
And this trend that’s so painfully present in the last two books Sucks for two reasons: one, every relationship that isn’t romantic (which were previously some of the most interesting ones) is abandoned so that more time can be made for The Hets™ and two, the relationships that are romantic, now the only ones left, are totally fucking boring and predictable!! If two characters are interacting at any point (if one is male and the other is female, of course) then you know for a fact that they’re not only love interests, but endgame.
And that makes me not care even when there is drama between them. Elide giving Lorcan the cold-shoulder for three hundred pages, and Manon and Dorian arguing, and Aedion being cruel to Lysandra weren’t compelling narratives to me like they should have been, because the whole time I was just thinking “but it doesn’t matter. I know it’s still endgame. There are no stakes here whatsoever; it’s a done deal.” Whereas Chaol and Celaena’s devestating breakup in CoM felt like (and was) suuuuper Real. An all-in bet on the wrong person. Crazy shit.
And not that I think two characters should never have a happy ending together (I really like rowaelin and nestaq and I would have loved malide!) but imagine how much cooler and subversive and entertaining it would have been if Elorcan, which seemed soooo totally cute and endgamey and borderline like fanfiction throughout all of EoS just ended forever right there and then on the beach, with Elide turning to Lorcan and saying “I hope you spend the rest of your miserable, immortal life suffering. I hope you spend it alone. I hope you live with regret and guilt in your heart and never find a way to endure it” - and BAM. She never speaks to him again. He’s dead to her.
I mean, talk about shock value! (See, Sarah, you can have shock value without killing of a person of color to make a white character sad 🙃). And I totally get that relational twists like that alienate fans more than just going the expected route and having them kiss and make-up does (I mean, the ending of Chaolaena in QoS certainly did, Jesus Christ) but I, Bella aelinbitch, personally live for that shit, and isn’t it only fair that all media cater directly and specifically to me? Lmao. But seriously, I do think it’s objectively more interesting, and that it keeps readers on their toes (I was on my ASS in EoS and KoA. Like. I was flat on my back sinking into the Earth).
And there are still sort of… glimmers of the old way she wrote in the first few books, but it just feels like a tease rather than something that’s really explored and indulged in the way it was before, and it just ends up being more frustrating (like what was the point of Manon and Dorian not getting married at the end of KoA if I would bet my life savings that in World of Tog it’ll be confirmed that they’re either married or still together) and sometimes downright problematic? Like to return to a previous example, I think all the drama between Aedion + Lysandra was a result of Sarah’s previous (good) instincts to shake stuff up and complicate the character dynamics, but it backfires because when they end up together, it’s not ever… worked out? Or addressed? If you create really intense drama between two people, then that needs to show up in their relationship, no matter how happy they end up together. It doesn’t just disappear.
And despite the fact that her understanding of that concept (that shit between two people doesn’t just disappear like magic) is one of my absolute favorite things about the first few books, Sarah even went as far as to use the last two books to retcon some of the original complexity away, which makes me want to rip out my hair!! Like Aelin at the end of KoA just going “Love you Chaol and Love you Dorian xoxoxoxoxox best friends forever!!!” instead of having, like, any type of mixed feelings about the way these boys treated her? I mean, come on! 100 pages earlier Chaol was openly saying she should die instead of Dorian! Why is everything just peachy-keen instead of fraught with tension!! (I know why. I know. It’s because she introduced way too many characters/POVs/storylines as the series went on and didn’t know what to do with them all besides sideline the nonromantic ones and pair off everyone else boy-girl boy-girl down the line). Or if it has to be peachy-keen, why is the peachy-keeness never critically examined as, perhaps, a repressive mechanism for Aelin to avoid dealing with painful truths from her past? Now that would be interesting.
(My ideal World of ToG would be just a transcript of the characters’ therapy sessions where Aelin realizes that her insistence that “Chaol and Dorian Are Her Friends!” is actually a way to keep herself safe emotionally and that she has plenty of reasons to hate them, and Lysandra realizes she should divorce Aedion lmao).
Anyway tldr: The variety, complexity, depth, and unpredictability of the relationships in Throne of Glass was simultaneously the most realistic (sometimes relationships of all kinds fall apart or veer off in unexpected directions and love is temporary and the boy you met in the first chapter isn’t actually your soulmate and it doesn’t mean he’s a villain) and the most gripping and dramatic (I would have been totally chill if maeve and erawan weren’t a thing and tog was just like a medieval soap opera, that’s how entertaining the character dynamics were) thing about the series, and to lose that in the last two books because of Heterosexuality (and introducing too many POVs and not knowing what to do with them all)…. kinda devastating.
This ended up being waaaaaay more complaining than it was talking about what I loved, but the only reason it bothers me so much is because it used to be so good!!! So just imagine the inverse of all the frustration I just vomited into this ask and you’ll have a good idea of how much I loved the series when things weren’t this way.
#im SO sorry for how shittily worded/ranty/emotional/long this is but *antoni from queer eye voice* a shitty YA series is actually something#that can be so personal...#greatest hits: hot takes
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01. LITHUANIA
Ieva Zasimauskaite - “When we’re old” 12th place
youtube
After six, long arduous months, this ranking somehow outlived the entire Almaia relationship, and that alone should be reason enough to finish the ranking immediately, but the the upcoming ban of all nfsw stuff (/porn) from this website will also cause a homosexual exodus (homosexodus? 🤔), sooooo, definitely time to finish this ranking before I lose 85% of my current audience.
Look, listen OKAY, just like how I naturally gravitate towards Lea Sirk’s sass and Elina’s pristineness and DoReDoS’s hilarious whateverthatwas, I was simply never *not* going to like a Lithuanian frumpy space princess and annointed HINDU with a voice more brittle than Theresa May’s position in the House of Commons, whose meditation rites include drinking a cup of boiling water (without the tea! just water) on a daily basis to *purify* her mind and soul. Okay the last MAY be an exaggeration on the behalf of the Flemish commentator (Peter Van de Veire is a known jokester), but then again, I can totally see Ieva telling this to random bystanders in her hotel lobby? Such oblivious, but well-meaning wackiness is just so Ieva SassyMouseKyte.
Naturally, one MASSIVE part of my Ieva stanning is JUST her personality, which is both intensely kooky and disarmingly innocent, see above. Another example: Ieva serenly sliding off the stage during the semifinal, only to find the nearest camera and exclaim ”I FELT THE PRESENCE OF *GODS* ON THE STAGE WHILE I WAS SINGING ^__^ I FEEL *ENLIGHTENED* 🤗🤗” llke she was Siddharta Gautama under the Bodhi tree <3 I am no a religious man but if Ieva said the stage was brightened with a non-descript Eastern Deity’s presence during the performance, who am I to refute it? 😁
Gods or no gods, I will say that it took a *serious* amount of dharma to give us *the most unexpected gift* we’ve ever could’ve been granted, which is a COMPETENT EUROVISION ENTRY FOR LITHUANIA. In terms of Eurovision, Lithuania are amongst of the objective *worst* on a terrifyingly consistent basis and here you have a fairly pleasant Ellie Goulding-inspired, frumpolicious Hindu cleric bringing a ballad about the inevitability of high medieval alliance pacts. Let’s Sing The Song That She Wrote:
Actually that’s selling the act a bit short, because for a brief moment, Ieva managed to transform her moment during the sheer INSANITY that was this year’s finale (well the sheer insanity streaked with horrifying, terrible, machinal dullness, not naming any names but *cough*austriaandaustralia*cough), into an oasis of *pure show-stopping sentiment* and that’s a powerful feat to accomplish for a Eurovision entry. Normally, you think such an entry would Blackbird itself into oblivion but as Ieva had prophetically declared, GOD WAS ON HER SIDE, AMEN, so nope, think again Christerifer Morningstar 😈
Speaking of, praise Hallellujah, Oh Glory and Mazzel-Motherfucking-Tov that Ieva qualified under the hilarity that is the current combined voting system (to those who still hate it, AISEL would’ve qualified under the old system despite being 12th in both jury and televote 🙃 Granted this would be funny if this had happened to Sennek or Ari or Eye Cue or basically anyone other than Aisel, but it didn’t so The Old System remains CANCELLED, s/n/s) because not only is Ieva an Elyon Goddess Moste High, and has the unique quality of being a Good Entry from Lithuania, “When We’re Old” is also... fucking awesome in itself?
“When we’re old” is *not* your typical BorisBubbles fave on the surface (lol as if I can expect you to know what a typical Boris fave is after only two full rankings on tumblr 😬), but it totally is? Ieva hits that personal sweet spot for me that I require from my faves: Quirky, but not overbearingly weird. Well-liked, but not liked *enough* to top every post-show list. Sentimental, but because her emotions are *real*, not because of some forced commercialized acting gig. (such as, um, fucking Rona Nishliu and her fake-as-fuck dry sobbing ugh die bitch! (k not literally, just musically, 5ever)). Also, this song makes me want to sing along like the soft ass fag that I am. “When Weeeeeeeeee’re OWLED Hooooooooooooooo!!!” All of this cements Ieva as a dark horse, an underdog and an eternal outsider and these are the *specific* type of entries that I started this blog for.
I guess I should write a bit more, with more *sass and pizzazz*, but that’s basically my Ieva love in a nutshell! I think she’s an utter gem, both as a human and a Eurovision participant, “When We’re Old” *still* remains the only entry this year to give me *emotional attachment* in the form of shivers and near-tears and bad impromptu karaoke. If you don’t think she’s all that, well that’s your loss, not sorry! She made the final through the good graces of Hare Krishna and did better than Jessi*can’t* and *No*lexander ! If I get a relationship, I want it be precisely like Ieva and her Hubbo’s. GET A LIFE!!
ALL HAIL THE QUEEN OF EUROVISION 2018
Thank you for reading this ranking, it’s been a blast! See you on the 1st of April 2019 for the #TelAviv2019 preshow ranking. God bless you and shalom!
EUROVISION 2018 - POST SHOW
01. Lithuania (Ieva Zasimauskaite - “When we’re old”) 02. Moldova (DoReDoS - “My Lucky Day”)
03. Estonia (Elina Nechayeva - “La Forza”)
04. Slovenia (Lea Sirk - “Hvala, ne!”)
05. Switzerland (ZiBBZ - “Stones”)
06. Germany (Michael Schulte - “You let me walk alone”)
07. Albania (Eugent Bushpepa - “Mall”)
08. France (Madame Monsieur - “Mercy”)
09. Hungary (AWS - “Viszlát nyár”)
10. Finland (Saara Aalto - “Monsters”)
11. Bulgaria (EQUINOX - “Bones”)
12. Denmark (Rasmussen - “Higher ground”)
13. Malta (Christabelle - “Taboo”)
14. Cyprus (Eleni Foureira - “Fuego”)
15. United Kingdom (SuRie - “Storm”)
16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)
17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)
18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)
19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)
20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)
21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)
22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)
23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)
24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)
25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)
26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)
27. Norway (Alexander Rybak - “That’s how you write a song”)
28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)
29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)
30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)
31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)
32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)
33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)
34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente”)
35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)
36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)
37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)
38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)
39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)
40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)
41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)
42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We got love”)
43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Jozef - “Lie to me”)
HALL OF BORIS BUBBLES EUROVISION FAVES (1972-2018) 1972: the Netherlands (Sandra & Andres - “Als het om de liefde gaat”) 1973: United Kingdom (Cliff Richard - “Power to all our friends”) 1974: Sweden (ABBA - “Waterloo”) (ed: totally by default btw. Shit year.) 1975: Germany (Joy Fleming - “Ein Lied kann Eine Brücke Sein” ) 1976: Luxembourg (Jürgen Marcus - “Chansons pour ceux qui s’aiment”) (😂) 1977: Belgium (Dream Express - “A million in 1-2-3″) (ed.: top five ESC year) 1978: Israel (Izhar Cohen & Alfabeta - “A Ba Ni Bi”) 1979: Germany (Dschinghis Khan - “Dschinghis Khan”) 1980: Luxembourg (Sofie & Magaly - “Papa Pingouïn”) 1981: Belgium - (Emly Starr - “Samson”) 1982: Germany - (Nicole - “Ein Bißchen Frieden”) 1983: Israel (Ofra Haza - “Hi”) 1984: Ireland (Linda Martin - “Terminal 3″) 1985: Turkey (MFÖ - “Didai, Didai, Dai”) 1986: Belgium (Sandra Kim - ”J’aime la vie”) (même si c’est une folie!) 1987: Belgium (Liliane St. Pierre - “Soldiers of Love”) (ed.: top Five esc entry) 1988: Switzerland (Céline Dion - “Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi”) 1989: Denmark ( Birthe Kjær - "Vi maler byen rød") 1990: Yugoslavia/Croatia (Tajci - “Hajde, da ludujemo) 1991: Sweden (Carola - “ Fångad av en stormvind”) (ed.: top five ESC entry) 1992: Denmark (Lotte Nilsson & Kenny Lübcke - “Allting som ingen ser”) 1993: the Netherlands (Ruth Jacott - “Vrede”) 1994: Germany (MeKaDo - “Wir geben ‘ne Party”) 1995: Cyprus (Alexandros Panayi - “Sti fotia”) 1996: Croatia (Maja Blagdan - “Sveta ljubav”) 1997: Poland (Anne-Marie Jopek - “Ale jestem”) (ed.: Top five ESC year) 1998: the Netherlands (Edsilia Rombley - “Hemel en aarde”) (I think???? lol 😬) 1999: Croatia (Doris Dragovic - “MARIJA MAGDALENAAAAAAA”) 2000: Latvia (Brainstorm - “My Star”) (ed.: top five ESC entry) 2001: France (Natasha St. Pier - “Je n’ai que mon âme”) (but also, nobody) 2002: Spain (Rosa - “Yooropz leebin a selebrayshun”) (ed.: this trashfest <3) 2003: Germany (Lou - “Let’s get happy”) (and let’s be GAY!) 2004: Albania (Anjeza Shahini - “Image of you”) 2005: Romania (Luminita Anghel and Sistem - “Let me try”) (Ed.: top five year) 2006: Iceland (Silvia Night - “Congratulations”) (ed.: 2006 SF > 2006 GF 😬) 2007: Georgia (Sopho - “Visionary Dream”) (ed.: i have about 9 absofaves from this year though lol) 2008: Iceland (Euroband - “This is my life) 2009: Iceland (Yohanna - “Is it true?”) (ed.: top five ESC entry) 2010: Albania (Juliana Pasha - “It’s all about you”) 2011: Germany (Lena - “Taken by a stranger) (ed.: top 5 entry, bottom 5 year >_<) 2012: Sweden (Loreen - “Euphoria”) (ed.: as with ABBA Loreen wins my ranking by default because this year is mostly rubbish.) 2013: Greece (Koza Mostra - “Alcohol is free”) (ed.: personal fave ESC year :)) 2014: Slovenia (Tinkara Kovac ft. Lea Sirk - “Round and round) (ed.: top five ESC year) 2015: Latvia (Aminata - “Love Injected”) 2016: Armenia (Iveta Mukuchyan - “LoveWave) 2017: Belgium (Blanche - “City Lights”) 2018: Lithuania (Ieva Zasimauskaite - “When we’re old”) (ooooohhhhhhhh)
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campaign 2 episode 28: corpse tea
okay alpha, just. shit yourself. I guess. right out the gate. good start.
augh the audio is out of sync on the criticalrole twitch
ah, shit, I'm gonna be at my parents' NO SPOILERS
(tumblr will also not be an issue until I get home so really that was directed at my discord group)
threatened by taliesin's new character
I keep hearing scanlan yelling "I'm gonna kill everybody in this motherfuckING HOOOOOUSE"
which is probably by design
caleb's devotion to the Spider Plan is inspirational
SHADY DEBATERS
sam: focus me: I refuse
I swear they say "shady creek run" faster every time
taliesin's character is a crazy hermit
look it's polite to thank your tools
mala: if you smell smoke, disaster is happening
"you are relying on me, I am very happy"
taliesin's character is an ant-lion
climate change is a bitch
I know liam is holding onto marisha bc caleb is looking through frumpkin but I honestly miss cuddly liam AND cuddly marisha so
"does anybody wanna throw me? ...does EVERYBODY wanna throw me?"
discord: twitch chat quote of the day: Tal is a gay grave cleric ogre
d o o r s
TALIESIN
ofc
"you don't say"
discord: "is taliesin just playing himself now" "yes but a cow"
discord: vox moochina returns
taliesin's SHIRT
"does he seem like he's going to kill us?" yes, with tea
that ART
"I would like to hug you" same
"do we have time for a comedy bit"
beauty and splendor and sometimes tea
dead people tea
"you help people into the ground. offhand, do you help people out of the ground?"
is he a raven queen cleric
"are you a good guy?" "I'm a good gardener"
mala: taliesin is playing himself in twenty years discord: god I hope I'm this cool in twenty years
I need break to happen so I can feed dogs but also I want this conversation to go on forever
sumalee looks like she has candle ears and I'm too easily amused
"violence is extremely natural"
"you seem to have a lot of anger" "you're actually seeing me realatively calm"
I need the full art of caduceus immediately
I am also going to start calling him clay starting immediately bc I cannot spell
this is very The Last of Us
redshirts. you want redshirts.
goddammit liam
"how old are you" uhhhhhhhhh
"a lot of shade just got thrown"
"if the insertion goes well, maybe we'll go steady" I'm a child of god what does this mean
"I just laugh along now." honestly same
INTO THE WOODS
okay y'all don't do anything interesting I really gotta feed dogs
I came back to frumpkin apparently surviving that one shithead guard
is tal using spell cards? I guess he prefers them to dndbeyond?
"we are outside the onion"
"I'm already regretting the name"
oh great clay's gonna be the new scanlan with the age joke
"I was married once. It lasted for like an hour."
can we stop talking about shooting assholes
harpooooon
tee pee kay, tee pee kay
"about to have a heart attack eye arr ell"
rogues are whatever
TEN!
#savephil
it's me playing dishonored
nott steals his buttons
"look at the windows" "they're nice"
mala: "waiting anxiously for my life partner" was that IC or OOC discord: yes
"I miss Vax so bad" honestly same
ULTIMATE CON MAN CADEUCEUS CLAY
stop saying "cracks"
"I take back my mockery"
NOTT
SAM WHY DON'T YOU HAVE DIMENSION DOOR
they're all going to die
TEE PEE KAY
oh man yasha's gonna rip her head off and eat her
CEASE YOUR RESISTANCE
fucking bears
it's really weird to try to connect nila's voice with one of the female inquisitors. maybe it's because I used it for my qunari and nila is very. not her.
(arcee is a little closer)
"so I'm gonna smack phil"
fourteenth time's the charm
"I have free will and I could follow you"
"that thing that makes me move fast" "cocaine"
"we will have words about the rules that exist!"
trinket?
"you know what that is? growth."
get the SWORD
sam killed sumalee
ROLL FOR REACHAROUND
how many maps matt
I do want to dye my hair pink again now
I thought Keg's health said 35/34 and was trying to figure out How
"or larkin" dat callback
"fuckin' phil, amirite"
why do you never check
oh no my heart
if this is an illusion I'm gonna throw my computer
"don't like" same, liam
"sam! saaaaaaaaaam"
did liam physically run from sam's one
"love when it works for the narrative!"
I'm not crying you're crying
if they kill lorenzo when I can't watch is2g
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I just realized it’s Fandom First Friday and the topic is meta!
For months, I’ve been slowly working my way through How To Be Gay by David Halperin, which talks about drag queens and how certain aspects of gay male culture appropriate from women to empower gay men. (Halperin uses the word ‘appropriate’ extensively, not necessarily in a negative context.) He brought up some points I thought were highly relevant for thinking about slash.
Last February, I went to Escapade and chatted with a bunch of acafans. To my total lack of surprise, they too love Halperin’s book and had the same reaction I did. I thought when I finish the book, I’ll write up some meta. But I got busy, and it’s a long, dense book. So then in August, I went to the final Vividcon. There, I ran into Francesca Coppa and mentioned this idea. Her response? “Oh, I just wrote a journal article about that.”
…
AHAHAHAHA! Oh god, we are the same person.
(NB: We are not actually the same person.We just have similar first names, similar fandoms, and similar flists back on LJ, have done similar fandom history oral history projects, go to the same cons, and have both been on the OTW board. Laura Hale once went so far as to “out” me as her. And now we like the same academic books too. Heh.)
So, obviously, now I have to write meta about this, and Fandom First Friday is the perfect time to take a stab at it. I have so much more to say and I want to go back through How to be Gay and pull out many more amazing quotes, but better to write something than wait for perfection.
What I found the most interesting about Halperin’s analysis was that he points out that women may find these funhouse mirror versions of femaleness upsetting, and those feelings are completely understandable and valid, but they don’t make drag any less empowering or significant for gay men. He neither thinks that we need to get rid of drag nor that women should stop having those reactions.
He also talks about how subtext is often more appealing than text: when he first started teaching his college course ‘How to be Gay’, on which the book is based, he assumed that students would connect more with literal representation of their identities. That’s the narrative we push: now that we have literal X on TV or in a Broadway show, we don’t need subtextual old Y anymore! Instead, many of his students loved things like The Golden Girls and failed to connect with current gay representation.
It’s a long book, but what many of his ideas boil down to is that a Broadway show that is massively subtextually queer allows the viewer to identify with any of the characters or with all of them simultaneously or with the situation in general. It’s highly fluid. Gay representation often means a couple of specific gay characters with a rigid identity. Emotionally, that can be harder to connect to.
Sometimes, allegory gets closer to one’s own internal experiences than literal depiction does.
Coppa’s article (book chapter?) is about exactly that. It’s titled: Slash/Drag: Appropriation and Visibility in the Age of Hamilton. She uses Halperin’s book but extends the idea further. I particularly liked her example of how female fans use Bucky to tell stories that are essentially (and often literally) about rape. His story is about a loss of bodily autonomy and about having one’s boundaries violated in a way that is familiar to female fans, but he’s a male action hero, so those stories don’t have the same visceral ick factor as writing about literal rape of literal women.
Partly, that’s due to how society treats men vs. women, but it’s also about which fans are writing these stories and which fans are the target audience of them. Just as a cis gay man appropriating Joan Crawford to talk about his experience of gayness isn’t really for or about women, most slash fanfic about Bucky being victimized isn’t really for or about cis gay men.
It was on the dancefloor at Vividcon that I realized that, as a woman, I have this unconscious feeling like I am appropriating gay men’s culture when I’m into Joan Crawford and other over-the-top female performers. It’s ridiculous! How can I be appropriating a female celebrity from gay men? But it’s an experience I share with lots of other women. Telling women we have no right to things is the bedrock of our culture.
That feature film Slash, which featured a bunch of cis male slash writers was inspired partly by the male director going on Reddit and finding a bunch of gay guys saying that slash squicks them. He felt that he was being progressive by erasing women.
On Tumblr, the fujocourse gets reblogged not just by toxic pits of misogynist, delusional bullshit like thewoesofyaoi, but also by seemingly reasonable fans. Hell, I’m pretty sure I used to suffer from this problem myself: I remember a time when I felt like I, as a bisexual woman, liked slash better, differently, and more correctly than straight women did.
I no longer feel this way.
There are lots of reasons for caring about slash, some of which are just about the pretty, some of which are more about gender, and some of which are more about sexual orientation, but after seeing decades of arguments about who is allowed to like slash, I have come to the conclusion that none of them are valid. All of them are “Not like the other girls!” and hating on femaleness. Some of the fans who do this are female and some are not, but it all boils down to not feeling like women have a right to a voice.
And then there’s Halperin calmly asserting gay men’s right to self-expression!
It struck me like a bolt of lightning because it was so self-assured. He never doubts that there’s something valid and important about giving gay men space to explore their own emotional landscapes. Literal representation is important, sure, but so is the ability to make art that speaks to your insides, not just your outside, and that sometimes means allegorical, subtextual art played out in bodies unlike your own.
“Fetishization” a la Tumblr often means writing stories with explicit sex or liking ships because they’re hot. Sometimes, it means writing kinks that are seen as dark or unusual. Frankly, this sort of fujocourse boils down to thinking that sex and desire are dirty and that m/m sex is the dirtiest of all. I do write some ~dark~ kinks in my fic because, for one thing, I’m a kinky person in real life, and for another, I often use fic to explore the experience of having dark thoughts and wondering what that says about me.
A lot of slash writers are exploring feelings of victimization. Another big chunk of us explore things like rape fantasies from the bottom: maybe we have and maybe we haven’t experienced assault in real life, but for all of us, having that kind of rape fantasy brings up questions of whether we’re asking for it, whether it’s okay to be into that kind of thing, whether it means something. Another chunk of us are exploring a different kind of “bad” thoughts: feelings of aggression, violence, dominance. In my own work, I’m interested in sadists and how they come to terms with their desires, but I think slash is also often a way to explore any sort of violent, dark feeling, not just rape fantasies from the top. Society tells us women aren’t allowed to have dark thoughts–hell, that we’re not capable of impulses that dark. Sometimes, it’s easier to write even a relatively banal action story about a male action hero because he, in canon, is allowed to have the feelings and impulses that interest the writer.
The fujocourse is all about saying that women aren’t allowed to have dark impulses ever. That we’re not allowed to be horny. That we’re not allowed to enjoy art for the sake of an orgasm. When we depict people not precisely like ourselves, we’re overstepping. When we make art for our own pleasure instead of devoting our lives to service, we are toxic and bad. Any time. Every time.
It’s just another round of saying that women’s pleasure is not valid and women’s personal space should not be respected. No hobbies for you: only motherhood.
And yet that’s not actually what most slash fans think. I was heartened to read Lucy Neville’s Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys: Women and Gay Male Pornography and Erotica. A friend read it recently and was trying to guess which quotes were from me. I have to admit, I was playing that game too! I honestly couldn’t tell, until I looked at demographic info, that some could not have been mine. They sounded so familiar. On Tumblr, I tend to wade into meta discussions, so I see a lot of loud, divisive views. I especially see a lot of views that, over time, make me start to wonder if I’m a crazy outlier. Intellectually, I know that this is all down to bad curation of my dash and a love of browsing the meta tags. I didn’t realize how much it had crept up on me unconsciously–how much I had started to feel like I had to justify and explain the most basic and common experiences of being a slash fan.
What was interesting about Neville’s book is how alike many of the women sounded. Now, no one book represents everybody, and she makes no claims to have figured out the exact size or demographic breakdown of fandom. Her focus is on women who like m/m material, whether slash or porno movies or anything else. At the same time, though, she surveyed heaps of women, and the responses were amazingly similar. Nearly every quote in that book strikes a chord with me. Nearly all of them, with a few minor variations, could be something I’ve written. Gay, straight, bi, asexual: we all had many of the same things to say about slash and what it means to us.
So, some brief, and more digestible thoughts:
Slash is “overrepresented” in meta and scholarly literature because people still ask us to justify ourselves constantly.
People ask us to justify ourselves because they assume that “good representation” is literal representation.
There are key emotional, psychological aspects of our experiences that are often better expressed allegorically, whether we’re gay men doing drag or women writing slash or any other sort of artist.
Here are some choice quotes from Coppa. (I will restrain myself and not just try to quote the entire thing. Heh.)
“There are endless transmedia adaptations of characters like Sherlock Holmes or Batman, so it is clearly not appropriation that’s the issue: it is the appropriation by the other—by women, in this case.
One could argue then that it is our awareness of this appropriative doubleness—of the familiar characters acting in an unfamiliar script, of the female storyteller animating the male characters— that boots slash out of “literature,” with its illusions of psychological coherence (see Edwards’s Chapter 3 in this volume), and puts it instead into the category of performance, itself so often associated with the fake, the female, the forged, the queer. My argument in this chapter is that it might be useful to compare slash to other forms of appropriative performance; drag comes powerfully to mind and, more recently, the musical Hamilton. These are forms where it’s important to see the bothness, the overlaid and blurred realities: male body/Liza Minnelli; person of color/George Washington.”
“In his book How to Be Gay, David Halperin (2012) discusses the ongoing centrality of certain female characters to the gay male cultural experience and takes as his project an explanation of why gay men choose those particular avatars and what they make of them. Halperin argues that gay men use these female characters to articulate a gay male subjectivity which precedes and may in important ways be separate from a gay male sexual identity (or to put it another way, a boy may love show tunes before he loves men, or without ever loving men). The gay male appropriation of and perfor- mance of femininity effectively mirror—in the sense both of “reflect” and “reverse”—slash fiction’s preoccupations with and appropriations of certain (often hyper‐performatively) male characters in service of a female sensibility; in both cases, appropriation becomes a way of saying something that could not otherwise easily be said.”
“A character like Tony Stark or Bruce Wayne speaks, obviously, to boys who are getting mixed messages about what successful manhood looks like in the twenty‐first century—it was hard enough in the old days to be Charles Atlas, but today you have to be Charles Atlas and Steve Jobs at the same time, which is a problem of time commitment just for a start. But these characters speak to women, too: differently. The doubled nature of the paired male characters taken up by slash fandom—these aliens, these costumed heroes, these men wearing man suits, men in male drag—make them appealing sites of identification for women, or proxy identities, to use Halperin’s (2012) term; that is, they provide “a metaphor, an image, a role” (185). They are sites of complex feeling.
But what these characters are metaphors for, what they make us feel, is not simple, singular, or easily reducible. Halperin takes hundreds of pages even to begin to excavate the complicated web of meanings around Joan Crawford; I am not going to be able to unpack any of these iconic male characters in a few paragraphs, and it is also the nature of fandom to build multiple and contradictory meanings around fan favorites (and to get into heated arguments over them).”
[In Halperin’s class] “Works that allowed gay men to be invisible were preferred to those where they were explicitly represented. “Non‐gay cultural forms offer gay men a way of escaping from their particular, personal queerness into total, global queerness,” Halperin (2012) writes. “In the place of an identity, they promise a world” (112). I would argue that slash offers something similar—that queer female space, as well as the ability to escape the outline of the identity that you are forced to carry every day—and that for gay men and slash fans both, the suggestion that you would restrict your identification to those characters with whom you share an identity feels limiting.”
“Visibility is a trap,” Phelan (2003) concludes, referencing Lacan (1978) (93): “it summons surveillance and the law, it provokes voyeurism, fetishism, the colonialist/imperial appetite for possession”—and fans on the ground know this and talk about it in very nearly this language. Again, this is not to say that fans—or gay men, for that matter—do not want or deserve good representations: female fandom, slash fandom included, championed Mad Max: Fury Road, Marvel’s Jessica Jones, and the new, gender‐swapped Ghostbusters, all of which have multiple and complex female characters. Rather, I am arguing that representation does not substitute for the pleasure or power of invisibility; for, as even the most famously visible actors say, “But what I really want is to direct.”
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