#are really more romantic and maybe i just dont experience platonic emotions much at all? not until a bit later anyway if at all

[blurryface-bitch]

social anxiety is so dumb. I come home from a great night out and when I wake up I immediately think of all the things I did wrong and become CONVINCED that everyone hates me now despite all evidence pointing to quite the opposite

[kohakuriver]

I think that theory exists because ppl dont want to see romantic subtext between Chihiro and Haku because they see Haku as muchhh older than her.

However I think he's really ageless along with other spirits, especially as a river spirit. That even as the Kohaku River and his stoic nature, he is still around the same age as her spiritually like a preteen or so because he's a literal river spirit. Especially since of when he rescued her in that river, it was such an important experience to him. So I think in that bc rivers reflect, he is in a way a reflection of Chihiro. Water flows and takes shape and stuff. A river doesn't age, and the only way to "kill" it would be to fill it in like and I think that killed him emotionally and figuratively. Why he ultimately forgot his name. I also think her dropping her shoe in the river is another reason Haku is around the same age as her, and not a much older thing. I think his age is purposefully ambigious. And conceptually him being immature, even if he is stoic and composed, makes sense for the other aspects of his personally. That he's not old or young, he's a river. And, his ambigious age doesn't seem to be malicious or weird or anything, especially cause of Miyazaki's views. His age is ambigious in many aspects including emotional maturity, and he's intentionally a character that's hard to read and understand at first glance. So I assume it's like a very literal thing, that Haku is seen as old so ppl do not want to believe there was something between them or that there could be. Personally I think where the movie is, that their relationship is nor platonic nor romantic (transends that) but there is a potential for connection there, Haku just forgot who he was and Chihiro was worried about saving her parents. But when they see each other again I can see Chihiro falling for him and developing a deeper crush on Haku.

I think that's why they decided to cut the line in the English dub too, that they thought it would be wrong for Zeniba to tease her about that bc of how viewers would or might personify Haku as being an older person and be grossed out instead of thinking it's cute and funny.

(also more things 1. Howl is Haku theory is so weird 2. HMC is overrated imo and for some reason affects how people view Ghibli stories as like these cottagecore pieces despite most not being like that 3. I love your art)

First of all thank you so much for sending such a nice long ask about spirited away i think this is the first nice ask i got on here in like. 3 years? (originally anon was off because someone nasty was harassing me) And thank you for loving my art!! Alrighty moving on-

I agree on a lot of this actually! I don't think Chihiro and Haku's relationship is platonic or romantic (Though I have shipped them since I was a kid) and they have a much deeper connection just like most Ghibli duos. (Pazu and Sheeta, Ashitaka and San just to name a few) I also always personally saw Haku as a year or two older than Chihiro but ultimately being very ambiguous since these spirits obviously have a very different concept of age and time.

I would like to point out, despite Zeniba's dragon boyfriend line being cut in the english dub she instead says something along the lines of "Only love can break the spell" in a kinda teasing way which I think was supposed to replace the boyfriend part. She actually doesn't say that in Japanese at all! To me that line was meant to convey the same thing and was just placed at a different moment. (I wish I knew why though lol maybe because the boyfriend joke and her serious tone right afterwards didn't feel right? Your reasoning could also be the case though!)

In my opinion I think majority of english speaking fans ship them (and still do) But when that stupid theory came out sooo many people fell for it. I've seen some fans like the theory because of the reason you mentioned which is fine of course, I don't care what people headcanon. But majority of the people I've talked to were just victims to clickbait and misinformation because they always rejoiced afterwards and were like "I can ship them again!!" lmaoo.

TBH I think most ghibli theories just exist as some form of clickbait or because the fans run out of things to talk about in the movies so they just make stuff up based on conjecture. The sibling theory isn't even the first time this has happened with Spirited Away. (It has like 6 more wild theories that don't really make sense.) I'm usually ok with that even though it's obnoxious when it clogs up the searches... I just hate when people insist its canon!! It's like... did we even see the same movie?? and where are you getting your info from??? lolol

Also that part of you mentioning Chihiro's rescue as an important experience for him and it reflecting back on him... i love the whole Haku analysis so much!

AND THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT ABOUT HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE!! Anon come out and be my bff I can't believe someone else thought the same thing. Howl's moving castle is a bit overrated in the way that i hate that it's used as like a "spoke person" for Ghibli. But at the same time it's so much more than its romance and pretty backgrounds but some fans only look at hot anime boy :') I wish more people talked about Sophie and her character (movie and book version) and how she should have kept her magic!

[bebx]

hi im so sorry but i need to get this off my chest and i cant talk to my friends about it because its so embarrassing and ive talked about it PLENTY

but anyway long story short i was dating someone, we have a weird history dating wise & have been best friends for 3+ years before that all started. literally three weeks ago we decided to be exclusive, on friday i found out that the day before, he kissed another girl IN PUBLIC. i know that girl, they've hooked up before (when i was also hooking up with him but it wasn't anything really and i didn't actually know for sure if they were hooking up (they were)). so we called it quits.

i still spent the weekend bc i'm weak and all i want is him. he said he never felt a connection like this with anyone, he said he loved me and he said he was sorry a hundred times..... he said it would take a long time before he'd feel 'normal' about me. we were both emotional when i left, and since then i havent really stopped crying lol

AND NOW. i dont know if im just driving myself crazy but i feel like he's (still) (again?) talking to that one girl and it would make sense because he basically cheated on me not even a week ago so why wouldnt he do this now??? but. it feels too cruel. but maybe thats just who he is.

god i hate this so much he drives me completely mad im stalking his every move and every time i see something that even slightly hints at my suspicions i get so ill and it makes me wanna kms. i just wanna feel normal i hate that he did this to me i miss him so bad. i know we literally shouldn't ever get back together again because this is just a fraction of the shit thats happened in the past 10 months, BUT I ONLY WANT HIM. and i feel like we're soulmates. BYEEEEE this is so humiliating. im so tired i just want it to end

hugging you so tight right now, anon!!! 🩷🩷🩷 so sorry you have to go through something like this. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, because each person experiences this type of pain differently, but I do know it just super sucks when the person who hurts us and the person we want to hate turns out to be the one we love the most. sometimes our hearts can be stubborn just like that (it all would’ve been so easy if we could convince ourselves to stop caring and to being able to fully hate them and moving on, but it’s never that easy, sadly). I can’t tell you what to do or how to react to the pain you feel, but know that your pain is valid and how you feel / how you react / how you cope with that pain, that’s valid too. and you are not weak for being hurt when someone wronged you, especially when it’s someone you trusted. I know this is cliche and is so much easier said than done, but please also be kind to yourself, above anything else. that boy and the girl he cheated on you with, they don’t deserve you. they lost you, not the other way around. think of this as an opportunity for you to open yourself to someone else who truly loves and values you, whether it be romantically or platonically. I know right now you just want him, but if the wrong person can make you love him this bad, imagine how much happier you’ll be when you finally find the right one who can make you love them the same way you loved him, if not more, the only difference is that they won’t break your heart. and you deserve to be happy. that someone is out there, and I truly believe you both will find each other when the time is right. but for now, try loving and being gentle to yourself even if it’s hard (I know it can be hard, but at least give it a try), the best revenge is to prove to them that you don’t need them to be happy and that you can heal from this and thrive without them in your life. doesn’t matter how long it takes, but you will get there one day, and you will look back and be so damn proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. because hey, look at you, you are still here, and for that, I am so damn proud of you!!

it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be completely broken, because the thing about crying and being broken is that it’s not permanent, even if it feels like it right now.

and by the way, the ones who should feel humiliated are him and that girl, not you. screw it if they deserve each other. YOU deserve so much better than that anyway.

[gay-fae]

for aros or people who are confused/want to understand their attraction a little better

Something I never really understood until I got more comfortable with being aromantic is platonic attraction. A lot of us know that attraction comes in all different forms but we can’t always pick out or discern what we’re feeling because the reality is that the human spectrum of emotions is complicated and doesn’t always neatly fit into boxes.

Platonic attraction was something that I often mistook for the beginnings of a crush. And because I didn’t understand what platonic attraction was, I got really frustrated when it never actually developed into a crush because everyone else seemed to get crushes, so why did my “attractions” never make me want to be more than friends with anyone?? I felt like I was behind or missing out on normal growing up experiences because getting crushes seemed like the standard (which is why representation matters!!)

Platonic attraction is something that I’ve come to understand better though! It’s still confusing at times but knowing that my intense feelings for someone aren’t necessarily romantic feelings is a great comfort.

What it feels like for me is: sometimes I experience a surge of love for a friend of mine. I find myself infatuated by them and want to be around them all the time. They make me my absolute happiest and I get excited at the prospect of seeing them. It’s a giddy feeling but it’s never turned into a romantic one. What I just described is how I’ve heard people describe feeling about their crushes but I know it’s not like that for me. I have no desire to be in a romantic relationship with my friends, I just want to be around them and spend time with them. (I’ve sometimes faced resistance on this front with people invalidating me and saying that I don’t want to accept that I have a crush. But these feelings of love are not exclusive to crushes, even if that’s the only context people usually hear them in).

I have been trying to figure out if I’m more of a QPR kind of person or even just open to a QPR because I am someone who sometimes desires physical affection (like hugs and casual touches) (it should be noted that im asexual so sexual attraction isn’t even a factor here). But whatever I realize I am or want will come with time.

I always thought of friendship as something that just kind of happens. If you have similar interests, boom you hang out and that means you’re friends. But so much more goes into friendship and im gathering that at this point in my life. I’m attracted to my friends, just not in a romantic or sexual way. I’m attracted to them in a way that makes me want to express my love for them by spending time with them and talking about my interests and whatnot. My attraction makes me want friendship, not romance.

All it is is that my brain chemistry is different than other people’s and we use different labels to discern these feelings. Some people get romantic crushes, while others just get platonic ��crushes” (I know some people called them “squishes” for a time or maybe still do). Some people desire exclusive romantic relationships while others just need a friend they can be affectionate with or in a different type of semi-romantic relationship with. We all love differently (and some of us dont even love at all; shout out to loveless aros) and that’s okay. The spectrum of attraction tells us that the way we experience attraction isn’t wrong. Platonic attraction is just something that took me a longer time to grasp.

[lighthousegod]

Something abt being on the aro-spectrum that I havent seen a lot is talk about feelings of jealousy.

I am a jealous person, and I'm only figuring that out as an adult. I was jealous as a kid, too, but I never thought of it in a way besides platonic. Eventually I stopped having best friends so I stopped being as jealous and bitter when my friends hung out with other people more than me.

Even though I knew I had a tendency to get jealous of others when I had a "best friendship," I never considered myself fo be jealous in a romantic context. Any time anyone would get angry when their partners talked to someone, especially straight couples who's members talked to the opposite gender, I would get confused. Like, you're officially in a relationship, right? Why would your partner agree to that if they wanted to be with some other person?

But as I got older, I understood more. I had one "crush" in my highschool years, and when he flirted with or dated other people I HATED MY LIFE it felt so gross. I always felt like I needed to change, or that I wasnt as desirable, and I needed to try harder. He did end up liking me back, but nothing ever came of it. The euphoria of him liking me back lasted maybe a night, and then it was gone. And it left a pit in my stomach. The worst feeling in the world, feeling disgust toward a thing that had made me feel alive for the first time in my life.

But, nonetheless, in all that drama I discovered that I WOULD probably get jealous if I had a partner, just because of how much I overthink. And i think that's where i sort of differ from a lot of arospec people? See, i dont want a romantic relationship necessarily. I dont need to do all the sappy shit like buying flowers and calling each other babe, or even going on dates really. But I do want something adjacent to that. I dont hate the idea of touching, even though I sort of have a phobia to that, but I DO hate it if I think about it romantically. I love the idea of holding hands in this sort of nostalgic way, like how I used to with my parents when I was a kid. I dont mind the idea of someone playing with my hair the way people used to when it was long, like they admired it so much they had to run their fingers through it. Hugging doesnt sound so bad when it's done in that protective, grounded way. Like hugging someone after a long day, or early in the morning. Just standing there like that. Even kissing sounds okay sometimes, if I dont think about it too hard. I'm sure it feels good. I'm sure being that close, that intimate with someone, would make me feel good. A combination of being comfortable and still feeling that rush of emotion. That sounds like a dream. That sounds fake. It makes me sad to think I may never experience that.

But then, I can think about the same things in a romantic way and I immediately want to turn and run. Holding hands in the way couples hold hands is so weird. I've never held a boys hand before. When I hold my friends hands, it feels awkward. I can hold my father's hand, I guess, but his hands are so calloused that they barely feel like hands. When I hold my father's hand now, I feel almost nothing at all. Thinking of someone playing with my hair like, say, a husband would do for his wife, or vice versa, or wife for wife or husband for husband or partner for partner, any combination-- it feels wrong. It's too sweet. Like, sickly sweet. The way they smile up at each other. It just feels so empty. Like whatever they're feeling just doesnt exist for me. Theres a void there, I think, where that feeling is supposed to be in my head. Hugs and kisses dont feel right from the couples in the movies. I much prefer the ones between close friends that I WANT to be the main couple, i guess. Like, take stranger things for an example. I love steve and eddie, and if they hugged, even platonically, I think I'd lose my shit. I wouldnt care much for a romantic hug between steve and nancy, but I dont really feel much for the platonic ones between steve and robin either. So, for some reason I like this weird in between? But that's not the point. Back to the matter at hand.

All that stuff I mentioned before, about how I can like all this stuff in a weird, alterous way as opposed to platonic or romantic or familial, one thing stays constant: I dont want whoever's doing it to do the same with other people. I DO want to be Their Person, and I want them to be Mine. Not in a possessive way, that's weird, but yknow. I want to want to be around them. I want them to want to be around me, too. And I want to like each other the most.

Lots of aromantic people talk about how they dont understand why friendships arent held to the same standard as romantic relationships, and trust me, I have been there, but I definitely am not exempt from that sort of "ranking." I have people that claim we are best friends, or really close, but I just dont bond with them the same way they do to me. It doesnt click. I like them platonically, I like to be around them, but I'm not attracted to them. Not like I was to my "crush" in high school, or like I am to all the pretty boy characters i think about in my head, or even my best friends from elementary school. Nothing my friends and I do is special to us. We arent exclusive to each other. And to some people, that doesnt matter one bit, but not me. I guess I'm selfish, but man, I wanna be someone's favorite. I want someone to like me the most. Even though I dont know how to kiss and might not even want to, and my personalities not that big, and sometimes I dont have much to say at all, and sometimes more than anything I just need someone to make me feel like I'm not floating through life without making a connection at all.

But that's such a big job. I worry I'm not worth the work. I'm not sure I would be able to work that much for someone else, so it wouldn't be fair. It would be so imbalanced, like I was taking advantage of them or something. I can't do that.

Nonetheless, the best analogy I can think of is beds. Not having sex in beds, just literally sleeping in them. Some aro people want their own bed in their own house. Some want to share a house AND a bed, with one person or with a whole group. But me? I'd like to live with friends AND my person. The best friend, or the partner, or whatever they are to me. And I want my own bed, but if I ever have any troubles sleeping, or they do, I want each others rooms to be the first we go to. I want to love someone so much that I choose them to ground me every time. How amazing would that be? To not have each other, but still be connected. To have some in between, "other" sort of love that does is not just built on trust, but IS trust. Trust that you are wanted, you are welcome, and you are special. Being something more than friends, more than lovers. Helping each other be whole on their own. Knowing they love you not because you're friends, not because you're partners, not because you're family, not because of anything. They just do.

I do want love. I really, really do. I want love the way I love the ocean, and the way I love music. I want to be loved that way. The attraction to the beach that humans have had for centuries. The tendency to make tunes out of nothing, to hum just to hear the sounds. Even if the ocean is dangerous. Even if the song is off-key. I want love that is instinctual, that is unexplainable. I want love that has no reason. No words to explain it. I want the love that existed before we had the word for it. Before there were friends and lovers, there were just companions. Two people who chose each other. And they may have not been able to speak the word love, but I'm sure it was stronger than what we have now. I'm sure, if you sit still, you can still hear it.

[unambiguouslybi]

Hi! I’m 23y/o f and I just recently graduated college. I’ve been have bi curious for awhile now. My freshmen year is when a lot of my friends came out as bi and I was super curious and asked how they felt and I remember feeling like wow that really resonates with me too. I told them I think I might be bi to and my very straight best friend cut me off and was like no she’s not. So I kinda was like well maybe I’m not especially if my best friend from hs doesn’t think so. I thought I was sophomore year to but was shut down again and then I was talking to a guys kinda my junior year then COvid hit then I started dating a guy my senior year and we’re still together atm. 3 months into dating not even I get the feelings that I could be bisexual again and it makes me worry bc maybe I don’t want to be? I get to these spots where I only like the guy I date for really only 3 months then my libido drops and I don’t want to have sex at all with them anymore (I’ve only dated 2 guys) but both longer term relationships. In hs I dated a guy for 2 1/2 years and we didn’t have sex for most of it bc I didn’t want to. I always feel this urge also to get out of the relationship but I can’t break up with the other person bc we get super close and I don’t want to hurt their feelings but also I don’t know if I’m breaking up with them bc I’m scared of commitment or not. I didn’t realize I typed so much and I’m so sorry about that. Really I was just wondering what you thought. I defiantly get turned on by girls but I’ve only had like 2 small girl crushed I really only crush on men but I only want to flirt with them I never really want to date them. But idk. I’m just confused and looking for a little advice hahah

hello~

i'll be addressing your concerns in the order that you voiced them.

so first off i think its really rude of your high school friend to shut you down like that, she doesn't know you better than you know yourself so it was wrong of her to speak for you like that.

i'm not fully sure if you are bi or maybe lesbian, it seems like you haven't really had the chance to experiment with your sexuality and attraction. attraction comes in many different forms there's the usual romantic and platonic attraction that we're all very familiar with but there's also aesthetic attraction and alterous. these two terms i've mostly seen in a-spec spaces but I believe they can be applied in other spaces too. aesthetic attraction is when you appreciate the beauty of a person- their aesthetics- but may not necessarily want to be in a romantic or sexual relationship with them. alterous attraction is a strong desire for emotional closeness that doesn't have to be strictly platonic or romantic. maybe your attraction to men is strictly romantic? or alterous? maybe your attraction to women is sexual?

there's also the possibility that you might be a-spec, you mentioned wanting to flirt with men but not really wanting to date them and you haven't gotten to explore how you feel about women yet, but it's possible you might be a-spec. maybe relationships are tricky for you because your aromantic? or grayromantic? demiromantic? maybe you dont like sex so often because your asexual, or graysexual, demisexual? there's alot of possibilities out there but you wont really know for sure until you take the time to truly explore your feelings and experiment with your attraction. I just hope that your friend will be more supportive moving forward because it seems to me like the lack of support is what lead you here in the first place.

-mod ky

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

Hey, i just wanted to say that, like many here, i feel very seen in your page. At first, your posts of pictures of women's intimacy and such really helped me, because they bring me out of this place in life where currently it feels lonely due to being who i am, ya know? I've always had this sense of anormality since childhood, and i feel like figuring out my sexuality at 13 helped me understand why, partially, but since then i have accepted more that im a lesbian, sure, but i also got hit by all of the "norms" of early adulthood, wich somehow made me feel not so figured? The reality of going out, dating, etc brought out this umconfortability with my sexuality more and more as the years went on, cause its hard feeling alone, left out, unable to experience basic stuff like that (for reference im 19 now and have always been very sheltered-also due to being in the closet still). And i feel like seeing stuff about peers, even distant, and our history, and intimate positive portrayals of us etc help a lot when those feelings start to kick.

Recently, however, i started seeing your more personal posts, about your own hard feelings, and it made me feel very seen. I have been realizing that those are very common amongst lesbians, no matter more personal aspects of each's life, it seems that loliness, anger, guilt, shame, feeling ugly, dumb, wrong, etc just are part of being someone who's not a man and is just not attracted to them, and so are not dependent of them in a partriacal society.

Its not your fault, its none of us fault, its theirs. Dont dwelve on these feelings, time surely will be affirming if we're able to build more community, we need healing, caring and love like everyone, and we deserve it bro! Keep it up!

(sorry if my english sucks its not really my primary language so maybe i made some words up or something)

Anon!! 🥺💕💕💕

Thank you so much for reaching out to me with this. And you have nothing to be sorry about with your English at all! 💕💕

I’m genuinely so happy that photos and things I have posted on here have helped you feel seen. That’s all I ever wanted so I’m glad it helped you in that way. But in saying that I’m so sorry you have to go through those feelings of being left behind and uncertain. They are scary emotions, especially since they are ones we often end up carrying a lone. But I’m so unbelievably proud of you 💕 you have made it 19 whole years and you are taking so many steps to self acceptance and love. I hope with all my heart you find your people , be it platonic or romantic, that can help you carry this load and show you a world and path where you might not feel them as often. But if you can’t find them I hope you continue to remember how wonderful and beautiful and strong and deserving you are. Because regardless of what path you have or how long it might take it you, you are so worthwhile 💕💕

I definitely relate to the ugly feelings of being a lesbian sometimes. But I hope you get to experience the unique and beautiful side of lesbianism too. I hope both us can look at something and be like “wow. I’m so glad I’m a lesbian. Because I got to experience this because of it”. I wish that for you so much and I have no doubt you will find it 💕💕

Thank you again so much for taking the time to reach out to me and write this. It truly means so much. I hope you have an absolutely beautiful day 🌻🌻💖💖💖

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

what the fuck are emotions. What are they. I don’t get it???? Wh. What??? I can’t even tell what I want in life!!!!! What are emotions??!! What ARE WMTOIONSvvv????!!!!!???? I am having a crisis. Fuckibg. What. What is going on. What three fuck. WHAT THE FUCK. I hate it here. save me. I can’t tell what’s platonic and romantic and I’m suffering. I don’t think I’ve ever fully been in a romantic relationship where I actually wanted to be in one, more so just felt like I was supposed to want it and be happy with it. I love the idea of romance maybe?? Why does it hate me??? What’s going on. Hhhhhhh??????? I don’t get paid enough for this! Ajdjdjdjdjjj?????? I’m so confused????? I always think my feelings are romantic and daydream and all but like ARE THEY?????? It doesn’t feel like it???? Maybe?????? Cause I feel all butterflyey and airy and swoony and I hate it! I cannot handle having emotions, let alone when I can’t even tell what they are!!! Whyyyyyy????????? This is so chaotic but MY MAN I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD TJME IN THSI CHILIS RIGHT NOW. What’s a romantic thing?? Holding hands??? I don’t wanna hold hands lovey dovey if I’m not close friends with them. But exactly that! Friends!! Anything that’s romantic I could feel for a close friend!!! Fuck!!!! Is this queerplatonic??? Is this just platonic??? Is this romantic???? Is this the real life or is this just fantasy???? I DONT KNOW! I’m caught in a landslide no escape from reality! I DONT EVEN MIEK QUEEN THAT MUCH????? AHHHH?????? And of all people why must my heart have horrible taste! Like WHAT??? THATS the person you choose??? HHHHHHHH?????? I don’t know if I want a life partner!! The idea sounds cute in my little fantasy head filled with soft clouds and living in a cottage by the seaside drinking hot homemade coco but I don’t know about ACTUALLY doing that?? It’s cute but. The idea of my own little house or apartment. I can decorate it how I want, make it all my own, do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted how I wanted, have a garunteed space for myself... that sounds amazing! Any other seems like something I’ve thought I wanted for so long but now I’m questioning that and that’s a bit. Yikes. And I don’t wanna be alone! Society frames single people as alone and I just internalized that! Fuck amatonormativity all my homies hate amatonormativity!!! Girl help I have internalized possible arophobia!!!!!! Why do I keep quoting memes while having an orientation crisis??!?!?!?? WHAT IS HAPPENING???? What is existence??? WHY DO PEOPLE WEAR BASKETBALL SHORTS?????? Hhdjdhdjshjshshhdhhshdhh. Maybe I’ve felt romantic emotion? But did I? Truly? Maybe I’ve felt that attraction, but I never want to be tied down, however bad that sounds. Am I aro or just scared of commitment aJHDJDJDHSJDHJS,,, but like. I had a crush on a guy for a YEAR. I was head over heels. Like I was daydreaming bout love confessions babe it was bad. But I got over him. It was whatever. Then he like a year or two later said he had a crush on me, and asked me out, and I was happy??? I remember being estatic. And I agreed. But I have no idea why I was happy. Was I happy for the me from years ago? Did I like the attention and validation? Have I always had a problem of shooting for the high and then leaving the moment I reach the low??? I hated that relationship. I felt awful. Each time he did something romantic I felt sick, and I avoided seeing him even when I had the chance to visit. It was really bad and I felt really guilty. I’d gotten this nice little happy ending, and I ruined it. I got this cute fairy tale, and no matter how hard I tried, my feelings never came. I thought they’d come back. If anything they just fully yeeted themselves out the stratosphere ffs. It was terrible. I felt really bad but had to break up with him. And through the guilt I felt so relieved, like I was finally freed. Never really got why people were so emotionally destroyed after breakups when they’re still friends tbh. And we’re still friends. (1/2)

Oh yeah we get to do this again babyyyyyy!!!! Anyways, the other relationship I’d been in, I had actually wanted to be in a qpr, but he asked me out romantically and I didn’t know what to do. He didn’t even know what a qpr was. I was torn between happy at spending more time with him and saying how much I loved him and the crippling fear and disappointment and lingering uncomfortableness. It only ever increased. I was a million times closer to him, but I told him I thought I might be aro-spec, because much as I hate to admit it, I felt awful every time we did “romantic” stuff. It’s kinda flattering and also kinda freaky to think he likes me like that. I don’t fully get romantic feelings anyway, though. But I thought it would all be fine and then it just. Wasn’t. We switched to a platonic relationship and I’m much more comfortable with that, but he talks about our future and I feel this fear that I’m gonna break his heart, because genuinely, I could see myself living with him, but not out of romance or anything. Just kinda like. It’s free real estate if I need a bug killed, and also houses cost so much money, and also movie nights, but I could just invite people to my own place if I wanted a movie night. But I just don’t know. I thought for sure I had romantic feelings for at the very least one of them, but it just didn’t work, at all. And there’s this other guy, I swear I don’t only crush on guys lmaodnfjdjdjdjjd, but he’s,,,,,,,, a youtuber. Because I have terrible taste. He’s only a year or two older than me and is funny and cute (asexually, bcus I am ace) and so my stupid monkey brain was like ah yes, this one is who you’re gonna like! And now I’m just like 🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️ every time I think of him. Very annoying. My heart is like an annoying bug that keeps bonking it’s head against the window next to me while I tiredly try to drive. But like,,,, I think have a crush?? But I don’t even wanna date him??????? So????? What????? WhAt????? What are emotions I don’t understand them??? This is a lot and I’m sorry my fam squad but oh boy am I having a real funky fresh time over here (2/2)

So one thing that may help you here, we tend to think of what attraction am I experiencing as a big objective truth. But it can actually be very subjective. So changing your thought process from being a detective and figuring out exactly what you’re feeling, to going ‘what makes the most sense to me in how I conceptualize this’. So basically try and think more in terms of ‘this is a helpful way for me to think of this’ and don’t worry too much if it’s right or wrong because there may not be an objective right or wrong answer.

So maybe it is romantic, but you’ve also got strong romance repulsion for being personally in romantic situations (I definitely think from this do you do have romance repulsion happening), and that’s interfering with having a romantic relationship. Or you’re somewhere under the akoiromantic/lithromantic umbrella, where you do have romantic feelings but don’t want them reciprocated. 

Maybe your feelings are more in the platonic or alterous scale. So still very strong, but not romantic, or not entirely romantic. (If you’re looking for a guide on telling romantic, platonic and alterous attraction part, the faq for this blog discusses it.)

Some people experience parts of romantic attraction but not all romantic attraction, some people find attraction blurs together and it doesn’t make sense for them to see it as a single distinct type of attraction.

And some people just in general can’t distinguish between romantic and platonic. And there’s some labels around that, two of the most popular are idemromantic (when someone categorizes relationships as platonic or romantic but feels no notable differences) and platoniromantic (when someone can’t tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction).

You can also look into quoiromantic, which is basically disidentifying with the concept of romantic attraction entirely, or finding it nonsensical, inapplicable or inaccessible. So that’s another thing you can look into if it interests you.

So that’s a few avenues you can look into, if nothing here feels right, you can dig in more, but this is a good starting spot. 

But yeah, I’d definitely recommend trying and thinking of it in terms of what feels right, or what would be a useful way of looking at this. And not worrying about if it’s right or wrong, only if it feels right or makes sense for you. 

All the best, and good luck, Anon!

[iceeckos12]

oh i am intrigued by not!jon, but also im sure it will make me sad :(

OH HI yeeeah.....it has a very tragic premise and also makes ME very sad, so you’re not alone (and if you dont like tragedies, i would recommend that you stop reading now). not!jon au is one i have to be really, really careful about, just because it does deal with a lot of heavy themes; im not even sure if i really want to write it. more or less, elias decided that having a human archivist is too much trouble, so he took out a favor from the stranger to create him an archivist, who would be less unpredictable than gertrude had been. jon is one of the students that doctor lionel elliot taught, except he was created to have emotion, because fear is integral to being the archivist. elias instates jon as the archivist and then has him running around collecting marks so he can eventually start the apocalypse, which he does, same way he does in canon. that’s just the premise of the story.

the actual story is that jon willingly starts the apocalypse, and then realizes that....shit, elias never told him what was supposed to happen afterward. elias has his apocalypse, jon’s fulfilled his purpose, but...he’s still here. he comes clean to martin (THIS IS STRICTLY PLATONIC JON AND MARTIN, there would be a ton of problematic things wrong with them being in a romantic relationship), and martin is understandably furious and hurt. but then jon decides that he wants to confront elias, and martin does too, so they do the (grudging) s5 apocalyptic road journey. along the way jon basically learns how to....be a person. he was only ever created to experience and cause fear (the other emotions were an “unfortunate side effect” of that, according to elias), but martin shows him how to be something more than that.

and i want to make it clear - martin does NOT show jon this because he feels any obligation to, or because he forgives jon. by nature of martin being martin, jon picks up how to be human. he learns how to apologize, and how to grow.

tl;dr stranger!jon becoming a person, backlit by the apocalypse.

“Why did you make it so that I had to be afraid?”

Jon doesn’t know why he’s asking this. He has already been made; there is no turning off the cold knot of fear that curls in his stomach like ice. There is no point.

And yet.

And yet he is rapt as Elias Bouchard, nee Jonah Magnus, looks up from his desk and studies him with those calm, luminous brown eyes. They are inhuman, if you know where and how to look, and Jon does. Jon has the instructions pasted to the inside of his skull, a permanent tattoo from the Beholding. He may have been made from the Stranger, but he is as an orphan is to their birth parents.

Elias smiles. “There’s no point if you aren’t afraid, Jon. You are to be the perfect Archive of fear, after all. You have to be able to experience it.”

Jon nods solemnly, because it makes sense. It makes sense to fill a vessel with the ingredients necessary for the culmination of their work. It—he understands that. He understands that, but it doesn’t stop him from prodding the small knot of fear woven with spider-silk fine threads of anger and disgust, and...and warmth.

He does not know what that warmth means. The Beholding, that impassive, omniscient Eye, does not see fit to tell him. He touches his hand to his chest, feeling the steady thump of his faux-human heart.

“What do I do about the rest of it?” Jon asks. “Will they be...will they be a problem?”

“The rest of it?” Elias’ eyebrows rise, and he finally loses that smile, the one dripping with something oily and saccharine that Jon doesn’t have a name for yet. Maybe he will learn. He hopes that he will not. “Oh, you don’t mean other emotions, do you?”

Jon nods. Thump, thump, thump goes his heart.

He supposes that he should have pushed harder. If he were a human or a true avatar of the Beholding, he would have pushed harder. But he was born of the Stranger, and he is all but a year old, despite the age he wears on his face. Elias told him of all the ways they would deceive those in the Archive, and not once did Jon think that he was a part of that deception.

But then Elias says, “Hm. Those weren’t intentional, but I suppose that something made by the Stranger was always going to have some...defects. Just ignore them and focus on the final goal.”

And Jon feels a sudden stab in his chest, like someone’s jabbed him with a tiny needle, and it’s all he can do to nod.

[scenesinsidethecrystalmine]

2, 4, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 19, 20, 26, 48 for the astrology asks please 🤗

hope that's not too much 😂💖

first of all, IM REALLY SORRY FOR THE LONG DELAY :’c and thanks for the asks! love you <3 

and secondly, natal charts are not like the exact rules of our lives but still fun and interesting to answer this questions because you know i am interested in astrology <3

2. What are the positive and negative aspects of your Sun Sign that you display?

positive: leos can be known for their hair, i really like my hair if that counts :’)

negative: sometimes i can get a little egoistical, i know that is a cliche but you get my point haha

4.Positives and negatives of your Moon Sign that you display?

positive: my moon is virgo, and i definitely show it in the way i feel, moon virgos can be too thoughtful about their emotions, thus, leading them to be careful about what to feel. at some point, i like this because i can reason my emotions in a sensible way which leads me to think about stuff more realistically

negative: what i said above can also lead to overthinking, which would make me be more scared about my thoughts or the way i feel, like for example (as moon signs are associated with emotions) a bad experience about love would creep horrible ideas about love or on another topic relating to my emotions, it was just an example haha

7.What are your relationships like with those with Signs opposite to you?

maybe because my natal chart contains water elements, the people close to me are mostly pisces like @godsavetherocknrolll, who is one of the closest to me or my father who understands me most and my friend from college with whom i get along so well haha so i dont thing it has a big impact 

8. What Sign do you get along with best?

practically, leos are best with gemini but i dont even know a gemini haha my best friends are mostly aries or sagittarius.

9. Worst?

i cant think of a sign i couldnt get along with except leo haha i dont have any leos close to me

10. Favorite Sign in Sun?

leo or libra haha i really like my sun sign and libra is actually my rising which i like a lot but libra sun is also amazing

11. in moon? 

maybe id say libra again. i dont know why but libras are charming or sagittarius, i like their vibes haha

19.  Are you attracted romantically to a certain Sign?

im attracted to respectful and smart people of any sign

20. platonically?

the same answer for 19th question goes for this one too haha

26. If you could change any part of your charts what would it be?

i wanna remove virgo out completely, i dont like virgo haha

48. What do you think about Zodiac stereotypes?

we are more than that. yes they can be accurate at some point but we are more complicated and more different than what our signs tell what we are :’D 

[calypsohq]

► ( lalisa manoban & nonbinary ) according to the school’s records, calypso “cal” saetang is a 21-YEAR-OLD junior studying film, and they live over in gordon. they are a sagittarius, so that must be why others describe them as individualistic, honest, detached and regretful. when i see them, i’m reminded of old journals and diaries with chunks of writing scribbled out, film burning out in an old projector, the faint glow of a television screen late at night. ( gibby, 20, they/them, est ) ◄

andddd we’re on intro number two !!! i still don’t have my braincell but like pls take my bby calypso tyvm.

basics.

name: calypso saetang 

nicknames: cal

age: twenty one.

gender and pronouns: nonbinary, they/them.

sexual & romantic orientations: bisexual, biromantic, femme leaning.

major: film.

housing: gordon.

backstory.

trigger warnings: mental illness, death, death of a sibling, grief.

the eldest child of the saetang clan, when calypso was first born, everything the light touched was theirs. they were the shining star in their parents eyes, the single most important thing to exist in their life. cal was their princess, an invisible crown placed upon their head the moment they took their first breath, and they never really got to experience the true power that this held.

why didn’t they get to experience? well, it was simple. another baby came along only moments afterwards, a twin with eyes that shined just as bright as cal’s. they were two halves of the same whole, and for a brief moment, maybe they were equal.

it didn’t last, however. azalea was said to have been, “brilliant” by their doctors growing up, something calypso never showed signs of due to undiagnosed adhd, and immediately the two were different. while azalea excelled with starting to read eons above the level of her peers, calypso found themself with their head in the clouds, distanced from even many of their peers at school. 

with the taste of greatness on their tongue, the saetang’s weren’t satisfied with a prodigy for a daughter while their other child left away to rot. no, they wanted stars — two golden ones in their family, to bring them greatness. it starts simple: “calypso, you should be more like your sister,” and suddenly both children are found at odds with each other, a battle that calypso was never destined to win.

it wasn’t that calypso wasn’t capable - no, they were, but they weren’t like azalea. while she could dance and sing, they preferred to be behind the scenes, often dreaming up book and movie ideas and a life much different than their own that they’d scratch away into the depths of journals and diaries that could never meet the eyes of another. they weren’t the same.

this war, often fueled by their parents, started a war between sisters. everything cal could do, azalea could do better - a frustrating game of cat and mouse despite how hard cal would try. by the time the two got to high school, their relationship was irreparable - they shared nothing anymore other than their own face.

during their senior year of high school, the two were permanently split by the ways of nature as azalea passed away only weeks before their graduation. despite the two never being close, it seemed to hit calypso the hardest, who suddenly began to hide away in their bedroom. 

in fact, the only reason they left for haddon was to get away from it all - their old swingset in the backyard that hadn’t been touched in years, her old bedroom across the hall, the area where they carved their names into the windowsill in their bedroom, their parents, all of it.

this is SUCH a bad ending to this intro but like ba dum tss that’s where they are now !! they’re in film bc they’ve always been passionate about film and they wear their sister’s bracelet on their wrist always as their tribute to her! also don’t really talk to their parents anymore as they find themself harboring a lot of anger towards them for the rift they caused, but sometimes it’s just them trying to place blame on the lack of closeness the two had on someone other than themself.

study.

trigger warning: drugs mention.

if you say your favorite movie is by [ redacted bc i dont want anyone 2 be offended hello FDHJKFHAJK ] cal will kick you out of whatever room you are in with them. if you are outside, cal will kick you to the sun without any hesitation.

they’re quite opinionated which, is that for their own good or not? only time will tell. they never seem to be able to politely mask their disgust when someone says that they adore the newest adam sandler movie or that, god forbid, friends was funny ( no offense to anyone if u like that, pls know i adore u fdsjhdfhkj ). they can just be a bit pretentious at time, something they will swear they aren’t as they, “don’t care enough” to do such a thing. which, spoiler alert: they do care enough and if you are, unfortunately, someone they talk to, they will ramble to you about how pixar isn’t actually that good but dreamworks ruined itself trying to catch the high of shrek. 

they are... a complete pothead though and frankly if you ever need weed they are there for you

they get really philosophical about life and movies the higher they get though so you have to be prepared for some ramble about how everyone is a main character and that tik tok trend was wrong and this idea that some people are more important than others is exactly what capitalism wants you to think. 

they tend to be very detached tho - one of their biggest “fatal flaws.” they don’t usually give a fuck if they hurt you, not because they don’t care about you, their emotions just aren’t completely... there

consider them * linkin park vc * numb. 

they are very passionate abt hamsters too like they have one named saturn and you WILL see them put it in their pocket and take it to parties simply to go hide in the bathroom and play with it bc their priorities are clearly in check

honestly they just like rodents n probs want a chinchilla too which, valid

was an e-girl before being an e-girl was cool, basically just meaning they are emo. a valid emo, but still they’re quite emo. 

they were probs honestly interested in the school because of it’s dark history - the perfect setting and scene for a dark documentary on such a subject, or even a spooky place to shoot a movie. it’s kinda morbid and out of touch but hey, that’s calypso. 

they also think the minions are kinda cute so pls roast them 

wanted connections.

friends. — i just... i love platonic plots....

best friends. — hONESTLY it’d be really cute if there was a trio that was like, super super sweet bubbly cottage core girl, soft boy, and emo enby n so i am asking for that tyvm

enemies. — i can’t put frenemies down for them bc unfortunately cal is super quick to snip snip bUT LIKE ENEMIES ??? there’s a lot to do here, though frenemies might work if its like, used to be friends n now isn’t like idk listen my brain is gone

exes. — like ?? yea ??

other connections. — did u see my braincell leave ?? did u ?? reread n you’ll see the exact moment it left i swear 

[zombriekid]

From the Shoreline [Haruka Nanase/Gender Neutral Reader]

Series: Free! 

Summary: request- “...can you write a beach scene w him (Haru) swimming w a reader insert? you dont have to make it romantic if you dont feel comfortable doing so” a day at the beach brings to light foreign emotions 

  You’ve always been content to watch from the shoreline, to bask in the peace that the hissing froth affords you as the silk of the cool waves lapses at your knees, and the fine granules of sand slip in between your toes. It’s there, where the land claws at the sea that you find your bedrock; able to enjoy the reaches of the ocean but you’re still fixed on a stable foundation of shell and stone. Sure you’ll find particles scratching at sensitive skin later in your rash guard, that’s a given when you’re sitting in perpetually shifting sand, however this way you’re never fully committing yourself to the depths.  

  Unlike Iwatobi’s residential Human Dolphin Haruka Nanase, who breaches the water’s glittery barrier with a flourish of his dark hair. In the past you’ve jokingly called him a “hydro-phile”, mostly because, be it a toddler’s inflatable kiddie pool or the expansive lanes meant for Olympic swimmers in training, if there’s a body of water caught in his crosshairs then the dude is already diving in before his pants are even off. You know better now, though.  

  It’s not so much that he has a rather odd (see: questionable) obsession with water; in actuality it’s the only way he can freely express himself, convey his thoughts and feelings properly to anyone willing to listen because there are no expectations when you’re swimming. Well, besides keeping yourself afloat at least. Admittedly it took you some time to understand this quirk of his- between Haru’s introverted nature and your inability to read people there were a few years of awkward, fumbling communication between you two that found resolution in sunshine incarnate Makoto.   

  Now you fancy yourself close enough to Haru that you don’t need many words to discern his intentions.  

  ...at least you did before the skin on the back of your neck starts to bristle and tingle, before the pit of your stomach flutters instinctually with the sudden attention set upon you, and nine years worth of friendship and experience quickly clues you in on the source. And sure enough, a brief glance up from your feet and out towards the ocean you notice him peeking at you over the surface with everything from his chin down totally submerged; there’s a glint in the intense blue of his eyes, and his long lashes sit heavy as if he’s lost in thought, like he’s staring absentmindedly at something, but he’s not because he’s focused entirely on you.  

  You don’t know this look.  

  It’s completely new on him. New for him? Or maybe it’s not. It’s just never have you been at the receiving end of it… and it’s twisting your heart into fluttery somersaults within the cage of your chest.  

  Before your mind can run wild, where the questions of “what if” and “could be” are already turning the gears of your over-active imagination, you disrupt the stare down with a hitch in your throat. “What’s up, Haru?” 

  Just like that the fog lifts from his pupils, and though they don’t stray from you they appear to be brighter now, like he’s just realized that you’re physically here. Now you can read the message in his expression. He gives you a quick once over that begins on the shoreline and ends on your face: in other words, “what are you doing?”    

  “I’m not much of a swimmer, remember?”  

  Which is not some feeble attempt to appear modest on your end, you understand enough to keep your head above the waterline and maybe splash a doggy paddle or two, but swimming? Authentic, genuine, complete a specified number of laps within an allotted time period swimming? That was all Haru’s territory- has been since the pool lessons from your kinder years, and even back then you knew that he was leagues ahead. Always will be.

  Never stopping, never looking back; the water doesn’t judge and it doesn’t expecting anything from him.

  It’s freedom. It’s his freedom, and you totally get it now.

  Good thing you’ve always been content to watch from the shoreline.

_______________________________________________________________________

  The expression is back, the brand new one that pours an invisible film over his eyes until the color dulls but sharpens the cognizance, and just like before he’s imposing all of that concentration on to you now. It’s unclear if this... look is intentional or not but either you’re inhaling a sort of icy warmth deep into your lungs as the hairs on your arm rise.

  Chapped lips peel apart yet no sound follows, a problem that stems from the fact that the tip of your tongue is sticking to the back of your incisors, and be it luckily or unluckily you don’t have to keep trying to decode the mystery that is Haruka Nanase because you notice the single but firm nod he gives. Moments after both of his hands begin to gently slice through the saltwater in large, swooping arcs, feet kicking and paddling behind him as his eyes actually seem to catch yours this time.

  And the message is... something? The meaning’s lost to you, though there’s no denying that it is there; still you can’t figure it out by the time he reaches the shore.

  Without a single word, and in the throes of a fierce, cerulean-tinted stare, he offers you a hand with the palm facing towards the sky- and this you absolutely can understand. “Thanks, Haru. But you won’t be able to actually swim if I join,” your left shoulder lifts in a shrug, “was always more of a spectator, ya know?”

  Spectating from the bleachers, spectating from the poolside, from the squeaky plastic of a floaty and the steps in the shallow end and the white foam melting into the sand of the shoreline.

  “I don’t mind.”

  And that statement- those three little words... they change everything.

  Because Haruka Nanase isn’t swimming right now, won’t be if you accept his offer, and he’s aware of that. He’s okay with that, that fact doesn’t bother him. He’s purposefully slowing his pace... so you can catch up.

  Goddammit you’re gonna miss the crap outta this dude.

  The sharp heat of tears stings in the flesh of your eyes but you’re quick to blink them away before you brandish a crooked, toothy grine: “don’t be upset when you gotta save my ass from drowning!”

  He smiles in return and there’s a kind of amusement found in the corners of his mouth- not that you’re focused on that, of course. And it’s not the first time that you’ve seen him like this, it’s just the first where you, and only you, are the cause. Makes you feel... warm. Fuzzy.

  Your fingers curl around his open palm until your grip is firm, and using the entirety of his body weight as an anchor you hoist yourself up on to your feet and follow him into the depths of the ocean. Away from the shoreline.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

  Later, when the horizon sits low on the horizon and the saltwater makes your lips itch, Haru asks you to make him a promise.

  “While I’m in Australia, and you’re starting your first semester at college... will you still talk to m- to us?”

  You don’t acknowledge that near slip of the tongue, and you completely ignore the fluttering in your stomach because of it, so instead with a squeeze of your hand over his, you say: “of course! You’re stuck with me for life, dude.” Platonically, that’s how you mean it. Right? Right.

Not right, not when his fingers squeezes yours back.

“Promise?” 

Swallow the lump in your throat; give him a big ol’ grin.

“Promise.”

a/u: i picture haru as the kind of person that doesn’t really build up an attraction to someone, it just kinda happens and it confuses him but he’s not afraid of it. homie has a hard time expressing himself though so he wouldn’t be the first to act on it, just drop hints here and there in his own unique way. hope y’all enjoy this piece, a bit light hearted than what i usually tackle, ne? hit a like, drop a comment, reblog this ish so that other cool cats can see it! and to the anon who requested this i’m so friggin sorry that it took me this long to fulfill it but still i hope you like it -3- 

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 4 (Cont)

The gremlin challenges Tsubasa, a Symphogear, whose entire shtick is to sing to channel power, to sing.

It dawns on her, however, that Tsubasa is part Greninja. Tsubasa used Shadow-Weaving! It’s super effective.

“tell me, you jellyfish looking weirdo...”

“hey- hey, time out. are you gonna do what i think you’re gonna do. this is gonna like, kill you. you know that, right? that you will literally die? you do understand you can just retreat now or- or just take hibiki away, right? i even told you that was the whole point of this... uh... oh shit.”

“ARE YOU READY TO JAM”

“tsubasa please i will literally lend you my remaining brain cell to stop you from this really stupid mistake”

Dad has entered the server.

“oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. o- ryoko. stop breathing on me. this isnt helping my anxiety over my adopted daughter figure literally preparing to kill herself over my commands.”

“sorry babe its just the asthma, forgot my inhaler”

“i cannot FUCKING believe of ALL the opponents i had to fight i had to fight the DUMBEST one on the goddamn block, you idiot, you absolute dunce, RETHINK THIS”

“OH GOD SHE’S DOING IT! SHE’S DOING IT! THE ABSOLUTE MADWOMAN- FUCK- FUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE! FUCK! FUCK!”

“just used up my last brain cell for this attack, pal. you’re through.”

“NAH, EAT ASS YOU- YOU GODDAMN MANIAC”

“HAHA YEAH, GOT YOU NOW, SLOW WALKING, DRAMA INDUCIN’, PURPLE RAIN CHANN-”

“OH GOD! YOU TELEPORTED! YOU’VE GOT SV_CHEATS SET TO 1, DON’T YOU! NOCLIPPING LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS GET OUT OF MY FACE”

“WHOA WHOA WHOA WHAT THE FUCK WHOA I KNOW I CRACKED SOME JOKES BUT WE LITERALLY JUST MET AND I- I GOTTA KNOW PEOPLE FIRST BEFORE THIS SHIT AND- OH GOD PLEASE STOP”

“OH GOD! THIS... RAW, GAY, REPRESSED ENERGY... IT’S... TOO STRONG...”

The gremlin could not begin to comprehend Tsubasa’s intense love for incredibly well-built redheaded women.

Hibiki can, though.

“SO......... MUCH........... SAUCE...................”

“.................................................”

The gremlin retreats after getting her licks. This scene subtly implied something; the Nehushtan armor she wears regenerates over time, which means no matter how much damage it sustains, it will always return in one piece. The same can’t be said for the user, though.

Hibiki runs to Tsubasa, checking if she’s okay, totally oblivious to the gravity of what just happened.

“i came just as i could and ive brought happy meals for everyone”

Genjuro asks if Tsubasa is okay.

I dunno man, this is a pretty tough judgement call here. I mean, is she okay? Pain is a pretty subjective experience, after all.

“oh my god i get it. i get the joke she implied. she wanted to jam. she’s jammed! cause it- it looks like jam! no, wait, its more like sauce...”

It dawns on Hibiki that people actually do die during this job.

Tsubasa, as it turns out, survived her Swan Song. It makes sense that she would because she was naturally receptive to her relic, Ame-No-Habakiri. Still, the injury comes with great gravity. She’s benched for the next season, and it’s likely she’s gonna miss the playoffs.

Stuck on a respirator on the edge of life, Tsubasa will probably look back at this and go, “Gosh, I was such a wild child. Haha. Almost dying and all.”

Hibiki wraps her single braincell around the idea of death. Most main characters aren’t familiar with the concept of death, you see, because most don’t die. But this is Season One Symphogear. Flirting with death is common.

Ogawa comes in to comfort her.

“dumbass had her opponent bound and the gremlin still escaped anyway”

Ogawa then explains shit we already know. Thanks, Ogawa.

“in summation: i get where you’re coming from, but stop fucking saying ‘im gonna replace kanade’, please, im begging you”

Hibiki FINALLY gets it, and naturally upon realizing, feels really bad for it. A real right and true asshole.

“oh thank god i was worried not even that was going to get to you”

Meanwhile, in Tsubasa’s mind...

“ah fuck me. im trapped in metaphor limbo. see, im falling because i clipped my wing, cause i nearly died, you know, like icarus and shit”

“hold up my gay senses are tingling”

Her senses confirmed. Kanade is in her mind, in probably the most romantic metaphor possible. There is absolutely no way to interpret all of this platonically.

Tsubasa is literally submerged in a sea of her own emotions...

Involving Kanade, and how she strives to be like her and honor her memory.

SHE LITERALLY DROWNS IN THOSE EMOTIONS, SUBMERGING DEEPER INTO THE WATER.

Tsubasa, in her Symphogear Brand Medical Cocoon for the Dumb and Beaten Down, quietly slumbers in her semi-comatose state as she wrestles the water metaphors of her own sexual identity.

The poor thing just misses her girlfriend.

Meanwhile, Hibiki sits and thinks more than usual. In a flashback, Genjuro muses about how The Gremlin wanted to kidnap Hibiki.

“i dunno maybe The Gremlin’s super lonely or shit”

“i mean if thats the case ill just adopt her too”

Since Tsubasa is away, Hibiki has to pick up the quota for teenage angst in the 2nd Division. Unfortunately, she has very big shoes to fill, but Hibiki isn’t one for slacking in the misery department. She blames herself for everything.

“im really going to fire the therapist we have around here for being pretty damn useless”

“can i be the therapist?”

“ryoko i am absolutely begging you to filter your bad ideas given the several teenage crises we’re dealing with right now”

Hibiki then yells out, for what is possibly the third time, out of the blue:

“I HAVE PEOPLE I WANT TO PROTECT”

The flashback ends.

And speaking of girlfriends.

“there is no force on this planet stopping me from having some quality fucking time with my girlfriend damnit”

Miku points out Hibiki has been pretty lonely. Says she heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from another she was messin’ ‘round.

Unfortunately, Miku is a goddamned chad.

Immediate handholding. Make no mistake. Behind those soft-spoken eyes lies an absolute master.

“o-oh, my hand, you’re holding it, so smoothly”

“hibiki, you’re my sunshine. i want to soak up your rays so hard that every piece of flesh of my body is horribly mutilated from skin cancer.”

“jesus christ miku at least use sunscreen in your metaphors”

“ill use them just for you, hibiki. just for you.”

Their relationship is interesting. When one of them is sad, the other sorta acts as an angst vacuum. You’ll see them flip flop with their points of misery with each other, but when together, those problems always melt away.

Of course, emphasis on being together. Season 1 is the worst with keep them away from each other.

“Just Be Yourself!” Miku Kohinata, Symphogear, 2012.

“fuck me, you’re right. im the protagonist. i cant just eat shit here the whole time. i gotta do protagonist things!”

“was that an invitation?”

“another time. but now... let’s just catch up.”

And so, they laugh together about how the recorded footage of the meteor shower was all black. Truly the greatest couple of all time.

It is this realization of being her own self, coupled with her renewed gay energy, and new perspective on what she must do, that causes everything to go uphill for her from here. Take note.

Here is where a God is truly born.

Tachibana Hibiki.

The end of this episode cuts to a specific dojo.

Genjuro’s dojo.

“i dont fuck around with training, even though i probably should have trained you sooner. you sure about this?”

“dadman either you do this or i will most definitely die next time”

Part of their training involves watching action movies, because Genjuro is so unreal that he should frankly be a fictional character in the very universe he exists in.

Fucking adorable.

“im so conflicted its so clear she’s part of /fit/ now but i cant help but imagine her washboard abs”

Hibiki balls even harder at karaoke now, due to her Symphogear training, and not because she’s secretly Aoi Yuki playing a recolored version of Madoka.

Her significant other is mildly terrified at the superhuman that is slowly unfolding her powers before her eyes.

In the end, things all reach their logical conclusion.

Hibiki becomes a Tekken character, just like Genjuro.

Of course... Miku pushes the fact very subtly that she would never hide anything from Hibiki...

Turmoil brews in the worst way... soon...

[tayegi]

i have so many theories right now...what if the guys are just trying to win a bet set on the oc? or maybe jk just doesn’t realize he likes the oc and mistakes his own actions as platonic ones? also, as readers, we see the story through the oc’s eyes so we focus on that angst part at the end of chap9, but then again, the oc has stated multiple times to hoseok and so many people that her and jk would never be more. whatever she went trough there, jk could have been trough the same a million times.

ahhhh you guys are the best!!! srsly i am so honored to have so many thoughtful, lovely, incredible asks theorizing about the plot and what jk’s intentions are!!! i would love to respond to each and every one of them, but unfortunately, i am unable to confirm or deny anything!

But i think these are super interesting and i’ve read all of them, and i’d love it if other ppl did as well! MORE ASKS UNDER THE CUT: 

Anonymous said:I know Hoseok wasn’t in this chapter but I feel like Hoseok is gonna play her like jk did and she’s gonna be left in the dust with no one and resort to being even more icy. Jungkook has a lot of problems and it’s really evident that he likes her in that way. Fuckbois are really something else man. They get scared of affection yet lead girls on and make them scared of it. It’s like a constant cycle of insecurity. Damn I wish she was with jimin. He would’ve provided all the love and affection

Anonymous said:lmao why is everyone assuming jk will never change and that he’s going to be an Evil Fuckboi™️ forever. like, we can see how the oc changed throughout the story, so why y’all thinking jk can’t do the same. the story isn’t over, there is more to learn, and the oc and jk have more development to go through. anyway, deep in my heart I’m hoping they’ll get a happy ending 💜

Anonymous said:Why do I get the feeling that Jungkook has slight romantic feelings towards the oc but his fear of not wanting to get hurt outweighs those thoughts. I don’t know though I might be completely off😫Thank you for the update!

Anonymous said:I tried reading the story in JK's POV and I cant help but feel as if he isnt the one at fault for making OC cry. Yes, he rejected her but he's known as a fkboy. He stated clearly that he didn't want a relationship, he thought OC knew that clearly. Thus he thought they were just friends. All the things he said was misinterpreted into a romantic way cause people kept forcing OC to view their relationship romantically. I felt that if ppl didnt do that, OC wldnt have developed feelings for him.

carlyangel123 said:Ok everyone is saying that Jungkook hasn't changed at all and I'm not saying like oh yall wrong or anything😂. But I think, based on Jungkook's showcase of clinginess and affectionate actions through the past chapters, that he HAS fallen for the OC. However, bc of his past (not wanting to go through another possible heartbreak), his assumption the OC would never like him, and just maybe insecurities that he's denying it and forcing himself to be indifferent like the OC did in the beginning.🤔🤔

Anonymous said:Nah nah nah nah lu i refuse to believe that everything jungkook did was all platonic but through oc’s eyes we saw as romantic. Im trying to remember everything he’s done for her and trying to see it from a platonic pov but i cant. So here’s my conclusion: jk likes oc but during the car ride and seeing his hand in hers he had a realization and became fearful of being hurt like he was before. Thats why he put his barriers up again CUZ LIKE HOW COULD THAT BE THE SAME JK I JUST ALDJSKAHALA

Anonymous said:Jin was an ass who only wanted sex, cheated on y/n and didn't care for her, many people think that Jk may've gone through something similar with his ex, but I think JK's ex was totally different, she was in fact... the opposite. Possessive, wanted to be with jk all the time, didn't let him breath, etc... That's why he doesn't want a relationship, he suffered the opposite extreme of what the oc suffered with jin, also this would mean the oc is the complete opposite to jk's ex aka why he likes her

Anonymous said:i’m analyzing NR again and just a theory of my own: jk’s relationship with his ex girlfriend started as a fwb type and jk was the one to develop feelings first, and at first it was good and then severely went downhill? this theory is probably far from correct, but i was just piecing together the fact that he hates hookup culture, but is able to engage in it with OC, maybe jk just wanted the physical emotion or OC reminds jk of his ex? anyways i’m enjoying the story so so much! best wishes lu 💜

Anonymous said:Wait so like OC got reminded of Jin when she met JK, so I thought that maybe JK saw himself in OC? Bc sometimes they REALLY think alike.. Idk man I just had this idea.. I LOVE YOU SO DAMN MUCH LU HAVE A NICE DAYYYY–❄️🐰

Anonymous said:I've been thinking about oc's relationship with seokjin and jk's with his ex gf. We don't know anything about her except two things: the oc reminded jk of her (as jk reminded her of seokjin) and the "don't leave me like she did" he said while drunk. If seokjin helped oc build who she is and what she wants in a relationship, we could say that maybe jk wants something that lacked in his previous relationship, like emotional support or a caring hand. It matches oc's Ice Queen reputation a bit to me

Anonymous said:Omg jks roues are definitely along the lines of “dont fall for anyone”

Anonymous said:so like, i feel as tho hyejin plays a more important role than we’re realizing. why does she seem so obsessed with jk if everyone knows he’s a fuckboy who doesn’t do relationships? why does she think she’s different? why does she think she has a chance? unless they already have a history we don’t know about...?? 🤔

Anonymous said:Personally, I wasn‘t that surprised about Jungkook not feeling the same way as OC. I don‘t blame him, he was honest from the very beginning with her. At the same time, I cannot blame OC either for feeling the way she does. Hookup culture leads you to believe that the person you‘re sleeping with should not care for you. I assume that OC interpreted the signals from JK in the wrong way, and thought he might love her when, in reality, he does care about her, but not in the way she wants. (1) ☀️

Anonymous said:JK has found smn he can talk to, and share smth else beyond sex. At the very end, I think OC might be the one who will push him outside his shell but not necessarily be the one he will fall in love with. (2)☀️

Anonymous said:I feel like oc and Jungkook might be on the same wavelength but because Jungkook clearly hasn’t gotten over his ex and whatever happened he might be pushing oc away. Plus the fact he even wants to stay friends with her is quite sweet in itself. It shows he genuinely cares about her, but probably isn’t ready to have any sort of relationship. You haven’t mentioned him having any female friends either so all of that skinship he does with oc might just be his way of being friendly??

Anonymous said:I feel like Jungkook is not over his ex and maybe he will end up with her, maybe he really does like the OC for the sex and the friendship. That's all.

Anonymous said:What if JK still likes his ex? :O

Anonymous said:Hummm sometimes I feel like in the end they're just going to be experiences for each other. I mean the OC and JK, maybe they will have none relationship at all, not friendship nor fuck buddies nor bf and gf...

dodoesdidwill said:Hyejin's line "You are really good at skating. I'm amazed" what? No way he was practicing after OC took him to skate, right? There must be something we don't know yet...

Anonymous said:Ok, if "New Rules" has taught me anything, it's to NOT judge a book by its covers. I judged Mijoo too harshly & things weren't as they seemed. Not repeating the same mistake with Kook. He was obviously hurt by someone in the past, just like the OC. Sooo... Maybe OC is not the only one with new rules? Maybe Kook was so hurt, one of his rules is to not fall in love again, or to ever put himself in a vulnerable position to be hurt again? Idk but I don't think he's that much of a dickwad

Anonymous said:Okay, so you said that we've been seeing JK through the OC's perspective and that we need to sort through the facts and her assumptions. What the anon who talked about JK having FWBs for the intimacy said really made sense to me and I thought about the fact that, if my memory serves me correctly, we've only seen JK with the OC. We have no way of knowing how he's acted in other FWB relationships. Maybe this is how he's been with all of them??? I dunno.

Anonymous said:i think new rules! jk likes OC too. this thing going on between them isn't just platonic. but the problem is, he really doesn't want to invest in a relationship, as some sort of defense mechanism (kind of like repression maybe?) i can't wait to find out more about his past and see exactly how it's correlating with his actions rn. I'm super hooked in your story lu! you never fail to deliver as always 💜

Anonymous said:I think jk is just as scared of what he feels for oc as oc is scared of what she feels for jk. Like I think oc already went through a ‘I need to protect myself from my feelings for him’ phase and I think jk is going through that now after their time at the hotel. I think he realized that he likes her a lot more than he realized and after coming back he’s trying to shut his feelings so he doesn’t go through whatever happened with his ex again

Anonymous said:JK said he hated hookup culture yet he partakes in it. My theory is that he might've done the same as OC has now done. Maybe had a sort of fwb relationship with his ex and subsequently fell for them, and they broke his heart. But again, idk if that's enough for someone to want to abstain from romantic relationships forever, though it does depend on the person. I'm probably wayyyy off but it's worth a shot :')

[bleusidemv]

sooo i've come this way to ask you to answer every single one of the questions on that lovecore asks thing cause we haven't interacted in awhile and i love you so 💙💙💙💙💙💙

Aw babes I love you too thanks for asking me out haha💝💖💗💞💕💓💘 So here we go:1. Sexuality: Bi? Pan? Whatever...Ill go with whoever I fall for no matter the rest2. Dating someone right now? Yes3. Hopeless Romantic? Im quite mixed...like I have realistic expectations that young love mostly wont last long and that everything could change and come to an end and that sometimes you just part ways and all that stuff and I am well aware about it but when it comes to love gestures and confessions and dreaming of a future I can become quite romantic...but not hopless.4. What comes to my mind when I think of love...Music...certain songs play in my head and I have this feeling in my body like when your at a concert and the beat is so strong that your heartbeat matches with it and you feel it vibing through your entire body. Also my friends bc even if its rather platonic love...some of the most loveliest and romantic experiences Ive had with them. And my sister bc I dont love anyone more then her.5. Whats your type? I dont really have one certain type Im searching for. Of course I do prefere some things but in the end they dont matter if I have the right feeling about a person and we match up. I gotta say tho that I need at least a basic level of both emotional and usual intelligence. To me communication is the most important so I need someone whos able to talk wether it be serious stuff or just random thaughts. Also humor bc Im reaally sarcastic. And someone with a lot of patience and understanding bc I can be really difficult to get to know at first and I have some anticks I cant get rid of. But lookwhise I am so open for everything there is no certain type Im searching for. Oh and fun fact: now that I have some relationship and dating experience Ive realized that all and I really mean ALL the boys Ive dated had problematic families or difficult family situations so I might have a thing for that...not that I am searching for it but Ill end up with it anyways.6. Flowers or Hearts? Flowers7. Red or pink? Red8. Pastels or dark colors? Dark colors9. Scented lotion or perfume? BOTH10. Colors I associate with love? Red, rose and green but also some bluetones11. Animals I associate with love? Cats, bunnies and moose12. How do you know when you are crushing on someone? When Im even shyer then usual and make more stupid jokes and lose my appetite 13. How do you know when you are in love? When I want to talk to this person as much as possible and share stuff with them14. Have I been in love? Yes15. Fave romcome trope? I dont really like romcoms16. Fave aesthetic? So many...minimalistic all white and beige stuff but also pastels and flowers everywhere and the ocean in all its ways and forms17. Fave romantic movie? Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind and (500) days of summer18. Ideal date? Walking, talking, eating, stargazing and if possible go somewhere with water like a sea or lake or river or to a fairy wheel and share cotton candy19. What would you give your partner as a romantic gift? Something theyve wished for or something that reminded me of them...like you know you go somewhere and see something and instantly think "yn would like that" and definitly a pretty postcard with song lyrics that fit the situation on them...thats my way of showing that I like someone20. What would I want to receive? The same...either something Ive wished for or something that made them think of me or reminded them of me22. What do you think love is and how would you explain it? Well its a really strong chemical reaction within your brain that captures your whole body and takes over your mind. Its something twofaced kind of like it can be so strong and powerful but also so soft and sensitive. It comes in all forms you can think of and you can find it everywhere. I could go on and on about this but I think Id just get lost there so Im stopping myself here before the poet inside of me peaks out23. Do I believe in love at first side? In a metaphorical way yes. I do think you can have a certain connection with someone from the first time meeting on but there for you have to talk so not love at the actual first sight but first meeting maybe...yeah its probably just crushing then but if you let it grow it can bloom and a seed is still a part of the whole thing so yeah...or at least I just hooe so bc I read too many books about it24. Have you ever crushed on a friend? Yes25. Have you ever crushed on a stranger? Yeah 14-16 years old me was a crush hoe26. Celebrity crush? JB!!!!!!!!!!! 27. Crush on fictional charakters? Nope28. Matte or shiny? Shiny29. Bright or dull colors? Dull31. Fave lovesong? Ugh too many but what came to my mind first right now was Apple Pie by Princess Nokia32.

[almasidaliano]

a few of today’s new epiphanies; a dissertation. {pt 1 // 0304.}

telepathy is a beautiful thing really. strange this little experience. i thought i was delirious and honestly maybe i still am. however, i’m in control of how i use that. i understand now, a little more than before. i have a lot to do; few book series in store. i must commit to fluently typing on a typewriter. because of the aesthetic. {the idea is to release at MINIMUM 3 books in various structures; all the beginning of a different series/saga.} i plan to stick to handwriting until my muscles breathe with the memory. every word i write, solidifies the world’ll remember me. and every seed indeed.

thurtherfore, my mouth is not my only gifted piece, you see coupled with my ears- i don’t know how else to be.. blessings are curses too; it the most melocholny ways.. i listen to myself now; not immediately not completely however {i’m prone to self sabotage so we won’t be greedy😂} - only up from here ; just as soon as we find it again. :$ if everyone is truly listening how are things as they’ve formerly been? let that sink in..

so am i wrong; for trying to preserve, something that took every level of my existence to procure? seeing as it took every level of her existence to preserve; long enough to see the top; i didn’t expect the drop.. there’s power in having nothing to lose - expect i didn’t want to be who i was around your family because i couldn’t see past the bruising and the scars. i’m a product of my environment , just like you. different environment, so initial different construct. i met you and then all i thought knew was confirmed or surprisingly corrected. still easier said than done simply reframing your ideologies. because wounds aren’t healed, things still have been suppressed and have yet to even be addressed; because time had other plans in mind.. {so do i..}

so here’s the sitch ; i miss my stitch. and refuse to indulge something less than what exists within the bond we built, whilst feeling guilty so then receding into isolation to avoid feeling as if i was compromising myself and that bond. like i only can’t access 3/4 of one piece now. that physical aspect is missing.. that comfort that grounds you. the way her existence was my only addiction; used correctly you can help someone you love remember/find themselves; that’s what she did.

i’m in a place i’ve never been. this is when everything changed. WELL 2021. i say that because i’m way out of my lane; i have never been through nor felt the things i’m experiencing. i’m in a position i wish i had only ever seen on tv, while simultaneously thanking divinity. because - it is better to have loved and have lost, than to never know love at all.

***my ENTIRE romantic life before her was a sham. no shade, peace and prosperity to most. i say that because before i was testing society or fitting the picture; i was chasing platonic love because my friends were my family. they helped me manage and maintain my sanity. but friends aren’t caretakers yk we all get older. and not to say s/o are either; just meaning on the day to day. mental health is not easy, and i was never too much.

my friends and i we don’t touch like that {intoxication don’t apply because everybody extra —- eh only alcohol make the volume rise ; just depends lmao} i mean in day to day casual setting ? no. we may quick hug as the family bond grew, had handshakes and mf theme songs before that😂 my family dont exhibit PDA. when i seen people who were together interact it was usually abusive, toxic, portrayed through necessities {extremities} in some form. tough love has been vastly misconstrued. A PRODUCT OF THAT HERE! lmao however- a late winter night, outside a laundromat changed my life. HONESTLY. infinite times for the laundromat cause listeeennn; changed my life night after night. she touched me; and i could breathe again; and feel it. i could feel everything. the way i had been absent from the present; so numb.. she confirmed the theory she created when our eyes met; she always knew she “won”. and i wasn’t hella clingy; i craved the way she showed affection from the first look, first touch, first kiss or moreso gave me the support and courage to accept. besides her i can’t even tell you when any of that happened. AND she’s the only one w a first look and first touch qualifier lmao.

the bond is infinite. spiritual emotional and mental all intact. it’s the physical; the touch i’m searching now to get back. or get a consistent “this’ll be do” ; like we’ll be cool and shit still too.

confession 1: if i collected every night i ever SLEPT meaning truly rested, alone; i may have 2 years at max though.

whether family, roommate, friend, partner i’ve never spent too many night alone. and developmental years? yea maybe 10 of those single nights are from those.

ever seen twitches? i really think to an extend some darkness can consume souls. another time another place we’ve arrived at the gold; two gems to wrap up this expressions ordinance.

so the plan if not bone marrow when we would have a baby was going to be her brother because of the lineup of genes. i still feel , and want {regardless of semantics it will be} to continuing manifesting towards our dreams. it’s just strange; because well how do you approach any person in this situation? 😂 but how do you go to the brother and say this “ like i want to continue to build on the foundation we pavemented. and i was wondering if you’d mind—“ i never expected it to be under this condition. i think she’d be fine with that .

here’s the cavieat: first everything is the same but everything has changed i stg. he doesn’t look the same as i recall from my birds view . however he reminds me of her so much more than the rest of — eh depends it’s anywho. and it’s strange because i strayed and now i don’t know how to break the ice. and i meant to speak to him at all. and that’s like the most important part lmao. because i wanna know him. because him and i are a lot alike because i can’t really believe the “he’s okay” without talking to him, except niggas real short and vague these days i see lmao. he lost his big sister; i my big brother. full blood. balance. your rod. my brothers keeper. it’s ; i am him in this situation above the other siblings dynamically and i want to help however i don’t want to pry or seem weird. some people just want to be bothered because he also doesn’t talk to me so maybe he doesn’t want to. they have the same kind of light in their smiles he only squints his eyes when he laughs. dimples are genetic and let’s just say thanks yall lmao.

it’s energy. it’s just vibes fr. like —

sometimes; even my mind isn’t a place i’m alone.

to be continued..

-A.