#are people still making this joke. still true but am i months late

[victorfrankiestein]

draculaura had the original golden retriever boyfriend

[cleo-fox]

As the Clock Strikes Midnight - Part VIII

Series Masterlist Chapter Summary: In which you lie to yourself. Chapter Warnings: Sex, p in v sex, dirty talk, praise kink, wall sex, semi-public sex, library sex, unrealistic refractory periods. Tag List: I don’t have a tag list for this fic, sorry! The best way to hear about updates is to follow me on Tumblr or subscribe to the fic on AO3.

You don’t know what this is and you don’t know how to navigate it. 

Every night from dusk to midnight, you are in his bed. He makes you no promises and you don’t ask him to. You tell yourself that it’s meaningless, harmless, a bit of fun.

You ignore the fact that most sensible people would not define bedding a prince as a harmless bit of fun. Especially not when you’re a servant. Especially not when there’s so much that you could lose.

You ignore the fact that the longer it goes on, the more the meaningless parts start to feel substantive, the more it nudges at something in the center of your chest.

You ignore it all because if you don’t, if you stop and think very carefully about it, that’s when you will realize that you’ve wandered too far down a path that you ought not to have taken in the first place and by that point, it will be too late.

It is getting late and you are trying very hard to keep your eyes open. Your head is resting on Loki’s chest, your ear pressed against his heartbeat. His fingers have been trailing up your spine and into your hair and back down again. It’s soothing and it also gives you chills—a pleasant contradiction, much like Loki himself.

“I must leave tomorrow,” he says suddenly. “I have business on Midgard.”

“Oh,” you say. You’re not really sure how to feel about that. You’re not really sure whether you’re supposed to feel anything about that. Probably not. “How long do you expect to be away?”

He sighs. “Two months, at least. Likely more.”

“Long enough to cause trouble, I imagine,” you say lightly. There is an unexpected lump in your throat, but you’re doing your best to ignore it. There’s no reason there should be a lump in your throat; therefore it does not exist. You repeat this to yourself confidently, like saying it more than once will make it true.

“Well, naturally.” He rolls over, pulling you with him so that you are on your back and pinned beneath him. “I am the god of mischief, after all.”

“I suppose you are.” You recognize that look in his eyes. “And what mischief are you planning now, your highness?”

He hums and presses a kiss against your collarbone. “The usual sort.” He is growing hard against your belly. “I must have you at least once more before I depart on my journey.”

Despite all your complicated and confusing feelings, your body is warming to his touch, that all too familiar aching need stirring in your hips. “Only once?” you say as you open your legs to him.

“I said at least once. Try to pay attention, darling.”

In the end, he has you twice more, though the last one is quicker than you’d like, motivated by the lateness of the hour. He helps you dress and delays you once more at the door with a long and lingering kiss that you will find yourself returning to many times over the next several weeks.

“I really must go,” you murmur against his lips. “I’ll be missed if I’m away much longer.”

“Surely another minute won’t hurt,” he says, lowering his head to nuzzle the place where your neck and shoulder meet.

“I’m afraid you underestimate the power of very nosy kitchen maids.”

“Well, we can’t have that. I shall speak to Fritjof about the staffing.”

You know he’s joking, but there’s still a flicker of fear that runs through you at the sound of Fritjof’s name. “You wouldn’t,” you say, forcing your voice to sound light and unbothered.

He laughs quietly. “You’re right. I avoid speaking to that old bat whenever I can.”

You are used to hiding your true feelings about Fritjof. “He’s particular,” you say.

“He’s abhorrent,” says Loki. “If I were king, he would be the first I’d release from service.”

You can’t help but feel a little relieved by this statement. Sometimes it’s easy to feel like Fritjof’s unpleasantness is all in your head, or even just an overreaction.

You can’t say any of this, though, so you keep your expression neutral and polite. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

“I’m sure you do,” he says, a hint of a laugh evident in his voice. “You’re simply accustomed to being well-mannered about it.”

“I certainly wouldn’t say so if I was.”

He laughs quietly and runs a fingertip along your cheek. “I suppose not.”

There’s a beat of silence and the lateness of the hour strikes you once again. “I really must go,” you say.

“I know.” He looks at you carefully before leaning in to kiss you. It’s soft and gentle, almost tender in a way that makes you want to indulge in silly daydreams.

But the kiss ends, though his hand remains cupped against your cheek as he rests his forehead against yours. “I’ll send for you when I return,” he says.

You want to believe him, but there’s a part of you that’s afraid that this might be the end of your extraordinary little dalliance. Surely his attention will wander elsewhere once he returns. You hastily dismiss the thought and force what you hope is a believable smile.

“Safe travels, highness.”

You’re surprised by how immediately you feel Loki’s absence. 

It’s not just the sex, though you certainly miss that. You miss his company, his dry and sarcastic remarks, the way that his eyes light up when you say something sharp or clever. His smile, his quiet huff of laughter against your shoulder, the way his long fingers curl around yours. The way he listens, the way his brow furrows when he’s deep in thought.

You try very hard not to think about what any of that might mean.

You resume your clandestine trips to the library, but you find it’s hard not to think of Loki in a space that you associate so closely with him: here is a book that you know he likes, there is the chair he prefers. The memory of his kiss burns on your lips, the ghost of his touch seared into your skin like a tattoo.

Deep down, you know what this means, though you won’t admit it just yet. Not even to yourself.

The first few days are difficult, but after a few stumbling missteps, you slowly find your way back into the rhythm you found back before Loki upended your days.

You’re soon reminded, though, that these forbidden trips are not without their risks.

It’s only blind luck that saves you. You are coming back from the library, cutting across the dining hall to save time when you notice the lace on your boot has come undone. You bend down to tie it and it’s only then in the sudden silence that you hear footsteps approaching.

You draw back quickly into the shadows, pressing yourself flat against one of the large stone columns. From this vantage point, you can just see the doorway at the far end of the room.

A figure appears and your heart nearly flies out of your chest.

There in the flickering torchlight is Fritjof. 

You hold your breath as he crosses the room. It might be your imagination, but you would swear he looks more sinister in this light, with his beady eyes and the torchlight casting gloomy shadows across his face.

He’s a little past your column when he pauses, the sharp flare of his nostrils the only sign of life in his eerily still frame. Your heart is pounding so hard that you worry it might somehow give you away, impossible as it seems. He doesn’t know about the library, you tell yourself, willing it to be true. He doesn’t know I’m here.

His gaze sweeps over the room, his eyes squinting against the torchlight. The permanent line between his eyebrows deepens, almost as if he knows something is not quite right.

But finally, after a long moment, he seems to think better of it and continues on his way, footsteps echoing ominously in the large room.

You only let out your held breath when he leaves. You wait until his footsteps fade and then you make yourself count to one hundred before you tiptoe your way back to your room, your heart pounding the whole way.

If you were sensible, you would give up going to the library. You know that.

But with Loki gone, it’s the only thing you have to look forward to, and for that reason, you can’t quite convince yourself to give it up, though you do start taking a different route back.

And agonizingly slowly, those first four weeks pass.

On the first night of the fifth week, it occurs to you that you’re a little over halfway through. Assuming, of course, that it’s only two months and not longer like he thought it could be.

Assuming, of course, that he still wants you when he returns.

You decide that you’re not going to think about either possibility or the little blip of melancholy that creates strange tightness in your chest. It’s nothing. Nothing at all.

On the third night of the fifth week, you hear footsteps in the stacks.

It must be Fritjof.

You try not to panic as you set the book carefully on the shelf, listening intently. There was always part of you that knew that this was too risky to continue, that being discovered was always the inevitable conclusion. He’d nearly caught you once already, why didn’t you think this time would be different?

A voice comes from behind you. “And what business does a kitchen maid have in the palace library?”

There’s about a half second of terror before you realize that the voice is not Fritjof’s. 

It’s Loki’s.

Before you can turn around, strong arms are wrapping around your waist from behind, a broad chest pressing against your back. You relax almost instantly, your fear turning to something that you will later recognize as joy.

“You’re shaking,” he says, pressing a kiss against your neck.

“You frightened me half to death,” you say, your heart beating wildly, half from joy and half from fear. “I thought you were Fritjof.”

“Such grievous attacks on my character already?” he tuts against your neck, though you can feel him smiling. “Any sensible man would be offended by such a comparison.”

“He nearly caught me last week. And you’re much earlier than you said—I didn’t think to expect you.”

He presses a soft kiss against your neck. “Are you disappointed?”

“That depends on how churlish you intend to be,” you say.

He laughs and it only makes you ache for him. He turns you around and before you can get a proper look at him, he’s pulling you flush against him and kissing you deeply.

The restless, yearning ache that you’ve felt in your soul since he left finally stills when his lips touch yours. Kissing Loki feels like coming home—it feels so perfect, so right that it would scare you a little bit if there were room in your heart for any feeling other than joy.

It’s a minute or so later when he finally draws back just a little—only enough to speak. “Did you miss me?” he breathes against your lips.

Happy as you are, your first instinct is to deflect. You can’t be vulnerable. Not yet. “I would ask the same of you,” you say.

Instead of answering you directly, he presses his hips against yours so you can feel the hard length of him already straining at the confines of his trousers. You suck in a breath through your teeth.

“Now give me a proper answer,” he says, his voice dipping into a slight growl that awakens that familiar, aching heat low in your hips.

A shiver snakes up your spine. “Yes,” you say. “Very much.”

His eyes flash and suddenly he’s pressing you back against the shelf and kissing you deeply. Desperately. You arch against him as his hands palm your breasts before dropping to your hips to pull you closer still, close enough that you can’t help but feel the hard press of his cock against you.

He pulls away abruptly, grabbing you by the wrist and leading you deeper into the stacks.

“Where are we going?” There’s a breathy quality to your voice that you hope doesn’t reveal too much.

“You’ll see.”

His destination is a dark, secluded corner near a collection of atlases. Before you can ask more questions, he’s pressing you up against a wall and you realize with a thrill that he intends to have you right here in the library.

“We could be seen,” you say as he hitches up your skirts and hooks your leg up around his waist. But your voice lacks conviction and you can both hear it.

“It’s late and no one ever comes back here.” His hand slips between your thighs, pushing your undergarments aside. “And I need you now.”

It’s a thrilling admission made all the more compelling by his long fingers stroking your slick folds and circling your clit.

“Oh, you did miss me,” he breathes as he slides a finger inside of you. “My poor little kitchen maid, so slick and unsatisfied.”

You are aching and a whimper catches in the back of your throat as he presses the heel of his hand against your clit. You grab his shoulders as a second finger joins the first. “Please, I need—”

“What do you need?” he purrs as he curls his fingers. “Do you need to come before I fuck you into this wall?”

You nod, panting. “Please.”

He chuckles darkly. “Darling, you know that’s not good enough.”

Your clit is throbbing as you tense around his fingers. You’re so close and his time away has left you needy and desperate. “Make me come, Loki. Please.”

His grin is wicked. “Good girl.”

His eyes take on a particular kind of focus that you only ever see when he’s got you hot and bothered and chasing an orgasm. His fingers are fucking into you with a slow precision, the heel of his palm grinding against your throbbing clit, nudging you closer.

“You’re so close,” he says, looking at you hungrily. “I love it when you’re like this, all wild and wanton.” He licks his lips. “You’re going to have to be quiet, though. Can you do that, darling?”

You manage a nod, but barely. The leg that’s not hooked around his waist is trembling.

“I’ve got you, sweet,” he murmurs, his arm firmly squeezing your waist. “Let go. Come for me.”

Your breath is coming in quick, shallow bursts. The instruction to be quiet seemed doable at first, but the feeling that’s cresting inside of you is so much bigger and stronger than you thought. You’re not going to be able to keep quiet.

“Loki,” you gasp in the last few seconds. “I can’t—”

Somehow, he understands your meaning because he covers your mouth with his, muffling your cries as you come hard, your fingernails digging into his back as you shake so hard your leg threatens to give out.

He doesn’t stop kissing you until the last shudder pulses through you.

“Oh, that’s lovely,” he says reverently. “Just lovely.”

“Please—”

You don’t have to say any more. He fumbles with the fastenings on his trousers and frees his cock. There’s no teasing, no delay as he positions himself at your entrance—he wants you too badly to play his usual games, his desire heightened by your weeks apart. He slides into you easily, lifting you fully off the floor as he sheathes himself in you. You whimper and he sighs, mumbling a string of curses under his breath.

“Norns, I missed this,” he murmurs, leaning back in to kiss you.

If you’d planned things properly, you would be back in his room or somewhere private where you could be as loud as you needed to be. This reunion has awoken something primal and hungry in both of you and staying quiet is a struggle. His hips take up a quick pace, driving into you with a speed and force that speaks to the profound need that had brought you to the corner of the library in the first place. He quickly finds the angle that makes you see stars and soon enough, you’re trembling around him.

“You take my cock so well, darling,” he mumbles against your throat, teeth scraping against the tender skin. “So good for me, so tight.”

“I’m so close—”

“I know, lovely, I can feel you.” He presses his forehead against yours, emerald eyes intent. “Come with me,” he grits out.

You keep your eyes locked with his until the force of your orgasm tips your head back against the wall, your eyes fluttering shut as you clench around his cock. He is close behind, gasping out your name as he buries his face in your neck.

It’s a good minute or so before he withdraws, and he seems reluctant to do so. There is something decadent and scandalous about his spend dripping down the inside of your thigh, but you decide you rather like the feeling. It makes you feel like his in a very raw and primal way.

You try not to think about the fact that you have any desire to be his.

He takes your hands in his and a green light spreads over the two of you. When it dissipates, you find yourself in his chambers, in front of his bed.

“You couldn’t have done that earlier?” you ask.

“It requires some concentration and my mind was singularly occupied,” he says. “I can’t imagine that you would have been very pleased had we arrived in separate places.”

He is right, but you don't want to say as much.

“I’d thought that your skill with magic was too great for such silly mistakes,” you say instead.

“I see my absence has not blunted your tongue.”

You smirk. “I hope you didn’t expect it to. I could not bear for you to be disappointed.”

He chuckles. “Not at all.”

He kisses you again and it’s slow and intimate in a way you don’t expect, in a way that warms you from the inside out.

“I’ve quite forgotten what you look like in my bed,” he murmurs against your lips.

“I suppose I could remind you,” you say.

He kisses you once more. “Turn around.”

He undoes the buttons on the back of your dress with achingly slow precision, pressing soft kisses against the back of your neck and all along your shoulders and spine. Your dress and then your shift and undergarments fall to the floor until you are bare before him.

His fingertips lightly trail along your rib cage and under the curve of your breasts. You suck in a shaky breath. You’ve just had him, but you’re already aching for him again.

His thumbs brush against your nipples and a soft moan falls from your lips.

“You can’t possibly need me again so soon,” he says, but you can tell from the rasp in his voice that this is not one-sided in the slightest. “You’re still dripping with my seed.”

You arch your back so that your ass presses against the growing bulge in his trousers. “You speak as though I am the only one with such a need.”

He hums, pressing back against you. “Perhaps you’re not.”

You look over your shoulder. “Well, your highness?”

He laughs low in his throat, one hand sliding between your legs, gently circling your still sensitive clit. “And here I thought you would be too sated for such boldness.”

“Perhaps you’ll have to try harder this time.”

You’re immediately gratified by the feeling of his bare skin at your back and you barely suppress a shiver. Typically if he resorts to magic to remove his clothes, it ends quite enjoyably for you.

“Perhaps I’ll fuck the boldness right out of you,” he says, his voice growing dark in a way that makes the muscles of your cunt ache in anticipation. You bend at the waist, bracing your hands against the edge of the bed to support yourself as he drags his cock along your dripping folds. “You speak sharply now, but we both know that you turn into a whimpering mess the moment you have my cock in your tight and greedy cunt.”

Quite suddenly, he’s at your entrance and pressing into you, his passage eased by the heady combination of your slickness and his come from earlier. Your back arches and you push up on your tiptoes, trying to take him deeper.

You can’t quite help the sigh that escapes your lips, even though it causes him to chuckle because it proves his point. His fingers massage your clit and you shudder, letting out a soft moan.

“Oh, you’ll have to do better than that, darling,” he says. “It’s been weeks since I last heard you scream for me.”

You cast a glance over your shoulder. “Like I said, highness: you’ll just have to try harder.”

His eyes darken in a way that makes you shiver. “You’ve grown bolder in my absence, love.”

You smirk. “Then teach me a lesson.”

Your intention is to goad him into fucking you hard enough to make the ache of these last few weeks disappear. His wide, feral grin makes you think you might have succeeded.

“Well, darling,” he purrs, his hips snapping hard against you in a way that makes your toes curl, “if you insist.”

He slips easily into a brisk pace, his fingers rubbing languorously at your clit. The contrast between the two is enough to make you moan in a way that’s so so wanton it’s almost embarrassing. 

“Yes, I want to hear all of your lovely noises,” he purrs. “Let me hear how much you missed me.”

His slow pace on your clit is still at odds with the way he’s fucking you and it’s driving you absolutely wild. You’re only getting the added stimulation on every other thrust and while it feels good, it’s not helping you get any closer to coming.

You tolerate it for as long as you can stand, but eventually you can’t help but moan. “Please, Loki.”

“Please what, my love?” he asks and you can hear the smirk in his voice.

“More.”

He knows your body well enough at this point that he doesn’t have to ask what you mean—he simply begins massaging your clit in time with the thrust of his cock, making you keen.

“Like that?”

You can only moan in assent and he lets out a low chuckle as he continues with his new pace.

This is what you really needed, you think. His large hand firm on your hips, fingers on your clit, his movements just a little rough, his skin slapping against yours as he drives into you with hard and steady thrusts. You can feel the edge starting to approach, all of your muscles tingling and tensing in anticipation of your release. 

He knows your body well—too well, perhaps—and he recognizes how your muscles tighten and twitch around his cock right before you come undone.

And he stops, withdrawing from you completely. “Not yet,” he says.

The whine you let out is perhaps the most pathetic noise you’ve ever made in your life. “Loki, please.”

He turns you around, silencing your protests with a slow, deep kiss. “I need you closer,” he mumbles against your lips.

You let him guide you down onto the bed. While you like it when he takes you from behind, there’s an intimacy to having him on top of you. You can catalog his expressions, count the flecks of gold in his green eyes. You feel simultaneously as though you are perched on a cliff of great height and peering down, but also warm and safe.

It’s a feeling that you probably ought to interrogate; instead you push it from your mind.

He kisses you as he eases back into you and you wrap your legs around his waist, urging him closer.

He’s slow and gentle with you. You thought you wanted fast and rough, but this…this is an unexpected perfection. You can feel every inch of him stretching and stroking the velvety inner walls of your cunt and every movement is somehow better than the last.

The buildup is slow and unhurried, the opposite of the library, the opposite of how he’d been driving into you mere moments before. He looks deep into your eyes, interrupted only when your lashes or his flutter shut against the rising tides within you both. It’s stirring something in your heart and you find yourself wanting to tell him that you missed this, you missed him, but the words stick in your throat and you suppose that’s probably for the best because these sort of things shouldn’t be spoken aloud when you are a servant who is bedding a prince in secret.

You shouldn’t be thinking about this. Not now. Probably not ever. Instead, you draw your focus to the coil that is slowly winding in the pit of your stomach and roll your hips up to meet his slow thrusts. You pull him down to kiss you, hoping that his focus on taking you to your peak eclipses the fact that there’s far too much feeling in your kiss.

And moments later, your toes curl one last time and you cry out as you completely unravel. He groans deeply and gives two more sharp thrusts before he succumbs to his own bliss.

He gradually slows to a halt, dropping his head to your chest as he catches his breath. You close your eyes, relishing the feel of him on top of you, still pressed inside you, the feel of his sheets on your back. You missed this. You missed him. You—

You shouldn’t continue that thought. You shouldn’t admit to that feeling, even to yourself. It’s stupid. It’s dangerous.

Don’t say it. Don’t think it.

Loki gives a satisfied sigh, breaking you out of your thoughts. “The next time I say I need to be away for weeks at a time, tell me I’m a fool,” he mumbles.

“I’ll tell you you’re a fool regardless of your travel plans,” you say.

His laughter rumbling against your bare skin might be one of the best sounds in the world. “I would expect no less.”

He eases out of you, vanishing the mess and quickly pulling you to his side. You rest your head against his shoulder and wrap your arms around his chest, draping your leg across his stomach for good measure.

“Did it go well?” you say after a moment of quiet. “Your business on Midgard, I mean.”

He sighs. “It was tedious. I’d rather have stayed here.”

You wonder if he means here on Asgard or here in bed with you. You’re not foolish enough to ask, though you are foolish enough to hope.

“I think it sounds exciting,” you say. “I’ve never left Asgard.”

“I’ll take you, someday.”

The promise in those words—and their sheer impossibility—raises a lump in your throat. “I rather think that would be frowned upon,” you say lightly.

“All the more reason for it.” He strokes a hand along your thigh. “And how did you occupy yourself without my stimulating company?”

“Oh, nothing terribly exciting,” you say. “I started reading in the library again.”

“I suppose I have been monopolizing your evenings,” he says, fingers tickling your thigh. “Though I don’t understand why you don’t simply take a book to your quarters.”

You swat at his hand. “You know that’s not permitted.”

He catches your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. “Neither is this, technically.”

“Yes, well.” You clear your throat. “I’d rather not give anyone more reasons to look more closely at my evening activities for that reason.”

“Am I to understand that you prefer my bed to the finest Asgardian literature?”

“That may be your understanding, but that’s not what I said.”

“Well.” He presses a kiss against the top of your head. “I suppose I’ll have to make my bed more tempting, then.”

It’s the sort of offhand comment you write off as a silly flirtation—he doesn’t mean anything by it, surely. It’s entirely forgettable.

Except…the next night, there’s a stack of books for you beside his bed.

“What’s this?” you say, trying to ignore the lump in your throat.

“I told you I intended to make my bed more tempting,” he says.

His eyes are glittering with mischief, but the gesture itself is achingly sweet, one that plucks at your heartstrings and reminds you of all the feelings that you’re pretending you’re not having. He had retrieved the book you’d been reading last night, along with titles by authors you mentioned liking back in the garden so many weeks ago. 

That night, he makes you read aloud from a book of love poems while he buries his face between your thighs, his tongue moving in iambs and dactyls on your clit until you come with poetry and his name on your lips. In the afterglow, you curl up next to him and read while he does the same, until you need each other again. It’s a new part of your routine, one that you’ll repeat many times in the coming days.

It’s there in the hazy paradise between prose and the bliss of his touch that a small, secret voice inside of you begins to admit that as much as you say it’s a harmless bit of fun, the situation has spiraled out of control in the worst possible way:

You’ve fallen in love with him. And you know it’s only a matter of time before he breaks your heart.

Next chapter coming soon

[mercurianchild]

hey beautiful,

could you make a post about Venus in 8th house? You’ve mentioned you have this placement and I do too! Thank you very much for your time. 🩷

🖤Venus in the 8th house🖤

TW: mentions of death and s*x

The most common thing I have seen is that this placement (along with scorpio Venus and Venus-Pluto aspects) is s*xualised and glamorised a lot. While it is true, that this placement gives an alluring and interesting aura, it’s not just that. Venus 8th house people have to offer so much more!

A lot of my friends and family members share this placement and we all share one thing: the ability to love so deeply that it hurts. This ability can also turn toxic or even turn into obsession if this placement is underdeveloped.

A lot of 8th housers also stay with people for longer than they should. Most of the times they have outgrown some situations or people, but they refuse to let go because of the feelings they feel. I’ve also been trough that many times. In hope that the spark will come back or that the people involved would change.

A common thing I’ve seen is that it is really hard to let go of people they love. I’ve seen this in friends AND family members that they just can’t let go of certain people where love was involved. For me, it’s still that one guy who I haven’t talked to for 5 months now. In the end, he hurt me. But he showed me what it’s like to be loved. I am still not over him and I know it will take some work to let go of him. With him, I experienced what I envisioned as love between two beings.

Venus in 8th house people are (like other 8th house placements) able to read people like a book. The gut feeling about others is never wrong. Intuition is high.

Could be more into trying extreme and intense things in bed like bdsm or playing with knives. 🔪💀⛓️

Very much into occultism and practising it. All my 8th house friends, for example, are in coven or practices witchcraft. Very into herbs and Hollis tub healing methods.

Which leads to the point that people with this placement are natural healers (if developed).

Natural understanding for psychology. Like really!!! Not just theoretical, but also being able to apply it in real life!

Constantly going through death and rebirth moments in life. A lot of ego deaths will happen.

On the other hand, this placement can bring a lot of hate and resentment from women (no matter if the individual is male or female). A lot of jealousy from other woman which makes it hard to find out who will stab you in the back when you’re not around. This can also lead to trust issues in friendships!

Feeling emotions so intense that it may be difficult to word them. Something that helped me was to find a creative way to let them out. Writing, painting or creating music are wonderful activities.

Red and darker colours look wonderful on these individuals (yes, this can vary depending on the rest of the chart and genetics)

Underdeveloped Venus in 8th house can make someone prone to be a pick me or a real meanie.

Either these individuals had some point of being bullied in teen years or them bullying others.

Constant feelings of so much depth. Whenever I’m around other 8th housers I feel so understood. It’s like a warm hug. We just know what you’re feeling.

I said it before, but the ability to heal… just by being there. Just the presence of these individuals is so intoxicating and loving!

Tend to have very dark humour and make jokes about inappropriate things.

Knack for taboo topics. No fear in discussing them.

Love to keep things private or even a secret. Like being involved in affairs just for the sake of it being a secret thing. I feel like some may enjoy something like that just for the thrill of it.

A lot of secret admirers!!

Can have issues with s*xuality and some may not be s*xually active until their late teen years or early adulthood. From what I’ve seen in friends, read online or even experiences myself, there can be also some unconscious trauma relating to one’s s*xuality.

Last but not least: these individuals are hard to forget, as they carry so much depth, magic and power… once they recognise their potential, it’s over for all them bitches trying to put them down!!

[sundasystems]

1. The Letter That Started It All

On a sunny day in late May, I received a letter from someone whom I'd corresponded with on a story years earlier. The letter was confusing and fairly alarming. I will attach it here:

Something is going on here. I'm missing time. I can't seem to remember what my job is, but I know I've been doing it. And I get all warm inside when I think about work. A little voice in my head is saying I'm doing a good job. But at WHAT? I wake up at night from dreams that… I can't remember. Or won't remember. Or don't want to remember. My clothes don't fit anymore. When I ask the people here who used to be my friends they all tell me not to worry. That it just means I'm settling in to the job. I don't think I want to settle in. But I also can't seem to leave. Please help me. Emily Voss

Emily had recently taken a job at Sunda Systems, a global conglomerate with it's research headquarters in a North Carolina town known as Eden Springs. Her position was that of an Administrative Assistant in the Optical Research Division.

According to a phone call I'd had with her just after her hiring, she took this position in early April after having been recruited by another employee. I believe his last name was Varas, though I am admittedly basing that on an unremarkable memory from months ago.

That phone call was the last I spoke with Emily until this letter arrived. That was not uncommon. We were not very close friends, just acquaintances and occasional collaborators. She wasn't one to kid around very much, but I couldn't shake the idea that this was all just a practical joke.

Something in the back of my head was convinced that nothing bad could be happening at Sunda. After all their motto is "Connected in Harmony." I have a Sunda modem and router combo here in my apartment, though I'd never given it a second thought until I began this project.

It is for this reason, and a deep regret, that I ignored her letter for days. But it kept nagging at me and so I decided to do some cursory digging. After the glowing reviews from top brass in various governments and corporations, I found a small post on a forum devoted to conspiracy theories. I will post it's contents here:

Does anyone think it's strange that S*nda S*st*ms has a positions listed on their job boards seeking psychologists, psychiatrists, and neurologists? Any company that big has got to be up to no good.

The post is still visible in it's archived form, however the user, who went by w3bofli3s_222 made no posts after that one, and their account has been deactivated. No contact information was available for them.

For their part, that did appear to be true. The job listing website "Karear" contained the above listing for a Behavioral Psychologist who would be making six figures.

What would an internet infrastructure company need with a behavioral psychologist? And what work would they be doing that would allow them a bonus?

Out of curiosity, I inquired. Two hours later, I received a phone call from an unlisted North Carolina area code. The following is a transcript of the relevant parts of that call:

R: Hello there! My name is Reggie. I'm so happy you're interested in the psych position. How can I be of assistance. I: Hello Reggie. It's nice to hear from you. My name is Helen, which I'm sure you know from the form I filled out. I've been job hunting and I was wondering what exactly the job entails. R: Of course I'd be glad to explain everything. Have you heard of our company before? Perhaps you've used one of our devices? I: Yes, my internet provider uses your routers. R: Wonderful. Then you know that our mission is to make the world Connected in Harmony! To that end, we employ several psychological experts to act in concert with human resources. We have some of them monitoring employee morale and productivity. Some act as advisors to help us maintain healthy work cultures. And some act as councilors that are available to our staff. I: That is quite impressive... R: The position we are currently seeking to fill would be one of the advisory roles. We want our employees to be as relaxed and comfortable as possible while on the job. It's very important to us that our employees feel at home here; that they can breath easy and lose all their stress. Would you agree that's important. I: Yes... I would... R: That's good. It's important that prospective employees share our values, the first of course being Connected in Harmony. When people are together, they are understood. When people are understood, they fear less. And when people fear less, they relax more. I: ... R: Helen are you there? I: What? Oh sorry yes! I was just looking at my notes. Now the website mentioned a bonus structure? R: Yes, that's something that we could talk about that more in-depth during a formal interview. We like to reward our advisors when things are running smoothly. If employees are happy, then the psych team is doing it's job well. I: Okay well I think I have what I need for know. Thank you for taking the time to talk. R: Of course. I look forward to seeing your application soon.

It was an odd call. I found myself almost nodding off as he spoke, though I was sure I'd gotten a full night's sleep. I came away from it believing that things couldn't be as bad as Emily made them seem. Sunda was a good company determined to do good in the world.

Right?

But as I logged into my computer, I noticed the little light was on that signals the webcam was active. I checked through all my open windows and nothing should have been accessing the camera. And as I stared at it, confused, it blinked off.

I guess it could have been a glitch, but just in case, I got a small piece of electrical tape and covered the webcam. I left the light exposed, though. Better to know than to blind myself, too.

It was such a little thing, but it was enough. Emily's letter. The weird job listing. The call that made me feel so strange. And now the mysterious webcam activation. It was too many oddities to write off.

It was time to start investigating in earnest.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | October 30th-November 5th 2023

I really need to get back into the habit of making these every Sunday! But at least this time I didn't skip a week! :P

Complete

stickwitu. by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Canon Divergent, PWP | 38K | Explicit): “Did you just call me daddy?" Or: Three times Buck fights his daddy kink + the one time it slips out anyway. (sequel to 🔥 stupid people.)

mona lisa by roseapothecarys/ @gaylicense (PWP | 5K | Explicit): or: eddie makes buck's dreams come true

hits like ecstasy by roseapothecarys / @gaylicense (PWP, Getting Together | 4K | Explicit): or: eddie starts complimenting buck...a lot. surely he has no ulterior motive.

this time between by roseapothecarys / @gaylicense (Getting Together | 3K | Explicit): or: buck and eddie get trapped in an elevator

tender we fall by roseapothecarys/ @gaylicense (Post-Shooting | 4K | Teen): Or: Buck starts telling Eddie he loves him. Like, all the time.

one hundred ninety seven seconds by roseapothecarys/ @gaylicense (Post-Coma | 2K | Teen): Eddie is finding increasingly convoluted excuses to be in the kitchen late at night. or: in the aftermath of the lightning strike, eddie copes.

what if one of these days i go and change your name by Iover_of_mine (I_almost_do) / @lover-of-mine (Post-S6, Established Buddie | 2K | General): Buck runs into a fire while off-duty, Eddie gives him his turnout once the 118 responds, then proceeded to spiral about how he wants to marry Buck.

kiss and make up by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Getting Together | 3K | Explicit): Instead of being soft and sweet or adrenaline fueled and filled with love and thanks that they're both alive, their first kiss comes in the middle of a fight in Eddie’s living room.

blackout by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (Getting Together | 3K | Explicit): Buck wakes up hungover on Eddie's couch, with no memory of the night before. Eddie's at just as much of a loss as he is, but their friends seem to know something they don't.

🔥 like a dog with a bird at your door by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-S6, Getting Together | 51K | Explicit): or, evan “i love you like a dog” buckley has only ever known how to love like, well, a dog, but maybe eddie diaz is the kinda guy to give a flea-bitten mongrel a forever home

i want to scream "I love you" from the top of my lungs, but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me by scarcrossedbuck (cryptidNick) (Getting Together | 11K | Explicit): or: Buck drunk calls Eddie to confess his love anonymously. Eddie doesn't hear it. Buck struggles with his feelings.

there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head by Underhung_Aura (Getting Together, Post-Lightning | 8K | General): Eddie comes out to Buck, receives a quirky mug, and gets together with the love of his life. In that order.

i'll come tackle the monsters by Iover_of_mine (I_almost_do)/ @lover-of-mine (Getting Together | 4K | Teen): Buck has a nightmare and they talk about the shooting.

Homefield Disadvantage by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Established Buddie | 2K | Teen): Buck is recovering from appendicitis. Christopher has an important school project. Eddie faces danger on the job. They are a family, your honor. That is all.

come close, let me be home by Daffi_990_ao3 / @daffi-990(Post-Season 6, Getting Together | 4K | Not Rated): Buck and Eddie slow dance at Maddie and Chim’s wedding

baby, say you'll always keep me by hattalove (Getting Together, Post-Season 4 | 8K | Teen): or the one in which joking about being married to your best friend is all fun and games, right up until you realize that you're not laughing.

WIP

🔥 and here, too, am i by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Future fic, Married Buddie | 1/3 | 11K | Teen): Six months into their marriage, Eddie is still struggling to decide whether or not he wants more kids, when he knows Buck does. The universe may not scream, but it certainly talks.

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Demon Buck, Canon Divergent | 6/? | 11K | Teen): Buck is a demon with the power to help with pregnancy, childbirth, and infant health. When the Buckleys make a deal asking for someone to help 'save their baby', Buck leaps at the chance as it will give him what he's always wanted: a life on earth. But demon deals are tricky and neither of them gets quite what they're after. This is Buck's journey as he navigates growing up on earth and remembering how to help those in need.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon, S1 through S6 | 97/? | 250K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

Re-Read

growing sideways by roseapothecarys/ @gaylicense (Getting Together | 3K | General): or: chris gets buck a father's day present.

🔥 i don't swim and you're not in love by hattalove/ @hattalove (S4, Post-Buck Begins | 32K | Teen): or, eddie cooks, chris domesticates a slug, and buck tries to figure out why he hates his best friend's girlfriend. to everyone's immense shock and surprise, it goes badly.

[philtstone]

half wordless, half in elven-tongue

Summary: There is something very practical about Arwen’s ancient and much-powerful grandmother (for an Elf, anyway) that Arwen admires, for she herself has sometimes found it difficult to achieve practicality. Estel, Man though he is, appreciates her fancies very much. He and his poet’s soul. She has spent the last twenty years sharing them with him in her letters, and every response (growing fewer and fewer until these last six months they stopped entirely) has him writing back like one offered water in the desert.

Arwen does not mind; it is not as though she herself has much more sense, climbing into bed with him as she does.

huge shoutout to @firstelevens for reading thru this and telling me it didn't suck despite not really going here. also, a secondary shoutout to @btwxsixesandsevens for gong here even less but inadvertently inspiring the "lover from a story" bit with their (as always) brilliant fic writing. would never have spent 3 weeks agonizing over this otherwise!!!

3rd October, 2952

Mellon,

I’m late writing you for entirely explainable reasons. You will say, not so unusual for you – that is not true, and you are only very over-eager writing me, which should not be as pleasant a revelation as it is – but anyhow, here it is. We’ve had many visitors of late, and my skill was needed in the healing den. Of course, I thought of you (in all Ada’s training I have not read nearly so much about the virtues of athelas as I did skimming your last letter) but I urge you not to worry, as we are all well here and there is no contagious illness. Your presence would have been appreciated though. If not by Ada (he sits in the study sometimes and looks yearningly out the window; I know he is missing you, though he won’t admit to it) than by the poor Dwarf whose stomach could not settle. You were always very good at getting a smile out of even the most stubborn of silly souls. 

On that point, how has it been on the frontier of friend-finding? I know you must not be in the Wilds any longer. Given how swiftly we understood each other, I am sure you will have no trouble at all on that front. Send updates soon,

AE

6th February, 2953

Estel,

Is the Angle so very cold as all that? Do not despair at the stiffness of your welcome (or in your bones!). You are still their kindred and that is manifest even in the curve of the characters you write: you love them already, do you not? Do not deny it. 

I am very intrigued by your observations on the rouge-wearing practices of your people and cannot help but wonder if it is an exclusively Mannish preference. I certainly do not wear it, but I have seen portraits and I do believe Uncle Elros did. I cannot determine the colour, however, as the portrait is old. Thoughts? 

You will see I have many questions today. Your insistence that every Dunedain woman you meet feels akin to a cousin or aunt is terribly amusing (I am almost convinced you are making a joke — are you?). I am sure at least one of them does not reciprocate that sentiment. Are they still wary of you, or very forward now? What is the food like? How many teeth have you broken upon the infamous bread you described? Have you met your grandfather yet? (I remember you were worried about that). 

Do not let the cold seep in too much. You must wear warm socks and eat foods that keep the blood warm. I may be an Elf, but my healing arts extend to many races, so you are thus obliged to listen to me. 

As for the rest – your people will love you soon as you do them, for such a love as the one you give is easy to return. You are certainly very likeable, at any rate, and I will argue with anyone who disagrees. 

Have hope, and be well. All will be as it should.

14th March, 2953

Do not say you listen to me on all fronts, as I have it in writing by your own hand that you have not eaten in three days. In the cold! Foolish man.

25th January, 2956

Elves do not experience such monthly pains, as you well know Estel. Or perhaps you do not, in which case I must chide Ada for thus limiting your training in the healing arts. Childbirth and bearing is a region most important, as I have learned (I can already imagine your blush) from your own mother, with whom I’ve spoken three times since your last letter. I have decided we must become fast friends, and her efforts at formality are altogether poor anyway; her face is as open as yours often is, and it warms me to know whence that quality came. 

Anyhow. The blood in your vest. There is clay that runs beneath the bark of some trees that will remove stains made by bodily fluid. Also vinegar, if you are near a homestead.

READ MORE

[kyriat-stories]

The harsh words of his brother rang in King Mijararo's ears, and to make the misery complete they got the sad message that Queen Alkmini had passed away on their way back. It was not unexpected considering her old age and health situation, but still sorrowful for those who loved her.

Just a few months later, they also received the message that Laonome, the Queen of Selinódasos, who was King Mijararos' aunt and Queen Euthalia's mother, surprisingly had turned ill and died. Rumors had it that she had been poisoned, but nobody were able to figure out who and how.

The King was of course devastated, but was comforted by the children's governess Bisera, whom he just months later decided to marry, because "it is easier this way", as he said.

Queen Euthalia was furious with her father, and wanted her sister Nikh to come to Manthos, "to avoid the influence from common and unfit people" as she explained it. "Absolutely not", was the short and clear answer from the king. We don't think he ever asked his daughter Nikh what she wanted, but if he had, she would most likely had agreed with her father. Truth is Nikh had a much better relationship with her "common" governess than with her rather snobbish sister. As for her younger brother Philokratis he was not old enough to understand.

Queen Euthalia had strong opinions about most things, and there had been a couple of episodes with both staff and family in the past. But lately the frictions between Euthalia and Amphiera had escalated to a level that was affecting the whole family. As soon as they were in the same room, which they were daily, there were loud arguments and glowers.

King Mijararos tried several times to discuss this with his wife, but to little avail.

- Why are you telling me this, she said, when it is Amphiera who is causing all the problems? She looks so innocent that one, but she is a demon! I'm telling you!

- That might be so, but please, if you could be a little less confrontational?

- You don't understand my situation Mijarare! Euthalia was clearly upset. I'm the head of this household, I am the Queen of this country, and my authority is constantly challenged by that... Lámia!

- But we will all just have to work together, and ...

- Work together?! She is a lazy slob, and all she can do is to lie on the coach and have the servants run around for her! And she don't have children or households or kingdoms to look after, like some of us! You don't know what you are talking about! Go talk with your brother and ask him to get his wife in order, next time. I'm sick and tired of this!

Mijaros found it best not to continue the discussion that night.

He had a feeling that his brother wouldn't be open for any suggestions concerning his wife's behavior, so he decided not to talk with him about it. Instead, he confided in his uncle.

- So you see the situation is a bit unruly, and I really don't know how to handle it. Do you think your Konchylia could... No, probably not a good idea. Could become even messier.

- Hmm. Well I don't know. She is good at stopping the children from fighting, but this is a different level of course.

- You know what is worse than two women fighting?

- What?

- Three women fighting.

- Ah, it's a joke!

- It is, but it's true, isn't it?

.

Previous | Index | Character overview | Next

[lucy90712]

Pedri- Injury

A/n: my requests are open so feel free to send me more requests.

Also this is based loosely off the time Pedri slid into the goalpost during the match against real sociedad in 2020

wc: 1600+

It's been so long since I've been to one of Pedri's matches as there has been a few away games and when Barcelona have been at home I've been too busy to go but today I told my boss that I needed to leave early so I can make it home to change and then head to the stadium. I felt awful leaving early as I'm the one that gets most things done but I've really missed going to games so I'm doing it for myself and for Pedri. He's been asking me for months when I'll next be able to make it to a game and last week I gave in and promised I'd make the next one so I'm keeping my promise although he doesn't fully know that. As well as going to the game I'm going to surprise Pedri before the match because I'm hoping it will make him more motivated for the match.

The reason I wanted to go home and change first before going to the game is one because my work clothes are uncomfortable and two because I wanted to wear one of Pedri's jerseys that he has given me. I didn't have much time to change if I wanted to make it in time to surprise Pedri so when I got home I ran upstairs and threw on the jersey with some jeans and grabbed my bag to head straight back out the door. Driving to the stadium on a match day is usually a nightmare but Pedri taught me a back way which cuts out loads of the traffic as one time I was really late to a game because of traffic. Taking my route it took about half the time it usually would so I managed to get there in plenty of time and find a good parking spot which very rarely happens although I'm sure that I'll still forget where my car is by the end of the match as I always do.

Once I was parked I headed in the opposite direction of most people as I wanted to surprise Pedri which meant going in a different entrance. Of course there was loads of security at that door but they all know who I am and I have a pass so they allowed me in after a quick conversation. Walking along the corridor I stopped and talked with loads of staff members as they haven't seen me in a while so they wanted to catch and up make sure I'm doing ok which was very sweet of them. Eventually I made it to outside the changing room as all the boys were coming back from their warmup which meant I could surprise Pedri before he got himself ready which is what I was aiming to do.

Loads of the guys waved or smiled at me as they walked past and of course I smiled back but really I was just looking for Pedri who was taking forever. Eventually I saw him walking with Gavi who clocked me standing there first so we both just waited for Pedri to notice as well. It took him so long that Gavi started laughing which quickly got Pedri's attention and made him turn his head so that he saw me. When he did he ran towards me and hugged me so tightly that my feet came off the floor for a few seconds. He put me down and rested his forehead against mine which allowed me to actually look at him and see the smile on his face which was big as I've seen it in a while. I love looking into his eyes but I knew we didn't have forever to just stand there together so I pressed a kiss to his lips and pulled away but he didn't let go.

"As much as I love this don't you need to go love" I questioned

"I probably do but I'm just so happy you are here I don't want to leave" he said

"Well you said you wanted me to watch you play so it might help if you actually get ready" I joked

"That's true I'll see you right after the match" he said running off to get ready

I had to laugh at him because he skipped off like an excited child but once he was gone I went off to the part of the stadium where friends and family of the players watch from. My leg was bouncing in excitement right until all the players came out on the pitch and I settled down a little bit. After kick off I got all nervous and excited again like I always do but this time I was even more nervous than usual as Pedri always puts so much more pressure on himself when I'm watching as he wants to impress me even though he knows I'll be proud either way. My heart sank when the other team scored as I knew it was going to be a long match but I still had faith that the boys could bring it back. It wasn't a long wait as just a few minutes later Barcelona equalised and then scored again to make it 2-1 before half time.

Things were looking good even after half time until the other team got a chance and of course Pedri ran to try and stop the ball going in but he was slightly pushed and so he fell. He slid across the pitch and straight into the goalpost and at speed too. Straight away I knew he was really in pain as he rolled onto his stomach and didn't move other than putting his hand on his thigh that hit the post. The medical team came running out onto the pitch and give him some treatment but I think everyone knew that he would have to go off as even it it wasn't serious it could be if he kept playing. It was so hard to watch him laying there in the end I had to watch through my fingers as he was helped off the pitch and straight down the tunnel to go and be checked over properly.

Before I could stop myself I got up from my seat and went to go and find Pedri as all I cared about was him being ok and I hoped he would want some company. Luckily I haven't been to the physios room very often but I do know where it is so when I made it out of the stands I ran straight there and knocked on the door to make sure I was ok to go in. When I was told to come in I saw my poor boyfriend laying on the bed with his eyes closed looking like he was suffering which broke my heart even more than it already was. He didn't know I was there so I walked over to his side and slid my hand into his and leant down to kiss his cheek which made him open his eyes and I could just see the pain in them. As he was about to say something the physio came in and did a checkup which luckily showed that he didn't have any injury but they said he should rest for a few days just to be sure.

"You ok?" I asked once the physio left the room

"As much as I can be" he replied

"You we're playing so well out there I'm just so proud of you" I said trying to raise his spirits

"Thank you love I just wish I could've stayed out there" he said

"Well maybe it's best I don't come to your matches anymore I don't seem to bring you much luck" I laughed trying to lighten the mood

"Sure you may not always bring the best of luck but I love having you here and I'd take the bad luck any day to have you here watching" he said

"How are so sweet even when you're hurt" I said

"I try my best" he smiled

We laughed for a minute before I went and grabbed his stuff and then went back to help him back to my car so we could go home. He was walking much better but I still held onto him and helped him into the car because I won't let him get more hurt on my watch. On the drive back home we talked about the rest of our days as we haven't seen each other since early this morning and Pedri always asks me about my day no matter how boring it is. When we made it home I helped him inside and then let him shower while I made dinner which as always he ate in about 2 seconds but I'm so used to it that it doesn't phase me anymore.

After dinner I was about to ask Pedri what he wanted to do but I got my answer before I could even ask as he grabbed my hand and pulled me upstairs to the bedroom. I wasn't quite sure what was happening until he laid down and pulled me on top of him and immediately put his arm around me which told me he wanted to cuddle. Cuddling with Pedri is my favourite thing to do so I snuggled in and let him trace shapes on my back and sides. No words were exchanged between us we just laid there in silence which we do quite often but it never gets awkward and honestly I quite enjoy it. Eventually we both started to yawn so I turned the lights off and got back into bed and settled back down with my head on Pedri's chest for about two seconds before he got me to look at him and peppered my face with kisses before then actually allowing me to get some sleep.

[foxes-that-run]

Dear angry anon,

Below I have some reading suggestions for you instead of my blog, while you read these I recommend listening to Treat People With Kindness.

This ship has been used to bully, makes it difficult for the subjects and distracts from the many talented LGBTI+ artists we are blessed with.

Thank you and all the best.

28 times 1D said Larry is not a thing.

"On the phone to my sister [...] :) she's telling me about 'Larry Stylinson' hahah!!" H on Twitter November 2010

In 2011 Louis said he had a girlfriend in nearly every interview

“originally they were making little fan fiction but then it turned into so many people. Some people genuinely believe Harry and I are in a relationship. We started off just saying really good friends” have you kissed? “No.” Muchmusic June 2012

"This is a subject that was funny at first but now is actually hard to deal with as I am in a relationship. Me and Harry are best friends, people look into our every move. It is actually affecting the way me and Harry are in public." “We want to joke around but there seems to be a different rumour every time we do anything.” LT MTV July 2012

“Hows this, Larry is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard. I'm happy why can't you accept that.” LT Twitter September 2012

“Still months on reading ridiculous conspiracy theories. It's upsetting that I have to read them daily. Thank god for the lovely people on here. People like you reflect so badly on our incredible fan base. Go and waste your time somewhere else. unfortunately mate people like that are a lost cause and can’t stand to see me and Eleanor happy. Shame really!” On Twitter September 17 2012

"I just think it’s really degrading towards her." LT Chatty Man September 2012

"That is a conspiracy fan fiction that's made up between me and Harry." "Well it gets pretty graphic, it's just, apparently me and Harry are together and my girlfriend isn't real." LT Late Late Show October 2012

“But a lot of them are so wrapped up in the conspiracy. Let me tell you now, they'll find a way to put some twist on this interview. I think it's pretty obvious when you see me and Eleanor together that it's real. Think of the amount of time I spend with her. It's crazy that I even have to say it's genuine. 'The truth is, these people aren't our real fans. That's the way I like to look at it.” LT ET November 2012.

"Harry was the initial boy who set us up, Louis and Eleanor as well" Liam i93 Dallas June 2013

"That's photoshopped." So there's nothing going on? "No." H Sunrise October 2013

“The psychology behind the theories are very interesting. That's a fucking annoyance. I wouldn't say it was impressive. I'd say it was f***ing annoying." Louis sugarscape 26 November 2013

“The fact that you work for such a 'credible' paper and you would talk such rubbish is laughable. I am in fact straight.” LT Twitter November 2014

"People think of the Louis and Harry thing, which is absolutely nuts and drives me insane. It's like when you know the ins and outs of what is going on with people it's so annoying when it's so stupid. It becomes like a conspiracy or a cult, the people who watch them and think that every move they make is a gesture toward them being together, and I know it's not true and it makes me mad. It's so funny to be on the inside of it because you know what's what and then you hear all these crazy theories," Liam to Altitude September 2015

"Have a bit of respect for the baby." LT Refinery April 2016.

"This could cause like Global World War III! But I I have to say something. No, Larry's not real," Liam to KDWC 101.3 May 2017

"I think if you really listen to the lyrics, I think you can work out if it's really about that or not, and I would lean towards no." H to Teen Vogue May 2017

When Louis blocked the word Larry on instagram and posted his middle finger. Buzzfeed September 2016

Roman camp asked if Harry’s hand is in Louis MV “not that I’m aware.” Harry Roman Kemp May 2027

“It took away the vibe you get off anyone. It made everything, I think on both fences, a little bit more unapproachable. I think it shows that it was never anything real, if I can use that word.” Louis The Sun July 2017

"yeah so what was that like anyone who wants to write any rubbish about um the relationship between us, but that's just evidence right there you know what I mean when it matters" Louis Lorraine July 2017

"People can believe what they want to believe, but I just think it comes across sometimes a little bit disrespectful to the ones that I love. You know, like Eleanor. And, it's like anything. If you Google "conspiracy" on iPhones - You're gonna get a conspiracy. So, I think it's one of these things that people just love to buy into, But in reality, obviously there's no truth to it, obviously." LT Big Biz Quiz August 2017

"It was a kind of confusing thing to me as I have always been pretty open about me and my girlfriend. But hey, you know." … "They all think that my girlfriend is employed, these people who believe in that conspiracy." to Andy Cohen 7 August 2017

"I can categorically say that I was not contacted nor did I approve it." Twitter July 2019

“Can you imagine,” he says, “going on a second date with someone and being like, ‘OK, there’s this corner of the thing, and they’re going to say this, and it’s going to be really crazy, and they’re going to be really mean, and it’s not real.… But anyway, what do you want to eat?’ ”H to Rolling Stone 22 August 2022

“You start by realising all these ridiculous childish theories and conspiracies are wasted time and energy and then just throw the chicken in the oven to be fair.” Louis Twitter November 2023

"what are you most proud of?" "Freddie" LT Twitter November 2023

“they will not see the truth for what it really is. I'm sure many people look and find all these little conspiracies that happen in life interesting. I'd be lying if I said it didn't irritate me” April 2024 to G1

Seriously, it’s time to use this energy to

Support Queer Artists

[amysubmits]

Loving your podcast (except the amount of “ums” used in every sentence ;) )! I shared it with my husband as we venture into our dd/ds journey. It’s very refreshing to hear a real couple and their real perspectives from fetish/kink POV’s. I know you’ve talked a lot about your DD and spanking fetish; but how did you actually start/come out to CD about these things? What was his initial reaction?

Sorry for the late reply, I was a bit triggered by your 'joke' about my overuse of "ums". I believe in at least one podcast episode I addressed how I am self-conscious about how I am not a graceful speaker and how it makes editing difficult because I am not a linear speaker or thinker. I lose my train of thought frequently, struggle to find words, etc. So, I do say 'um' excessively, it's way worse IRL than on the podcast as we edited the vast majority of them out. Not all can be removed as it would break the flow of conversation or whatever else. We tried to edit to make things a little more cohesive and easier to listen to. So, yeah, what I basically got from your message was 'this person finds you annoying even when your way of speaking is cleaned up more than 50%' and that's painful even though it's true, I wish you hadn't told me that as I can't really do anything about it, it's just part of how my ADHD or other neurodivergence works. I felt like I should respond to that portion as I'm working on using my voice to defending myself, being less of a people pleaser, accepting myself and having more self-compassion/respect, etc. But I don't want to dwell so, moving on to the far more enjoyable part of your ask!

I think I've shared how I 'came out' to CD at some point in the past but I don't recall what blog post(s) that would have been in. If I come across them later I'll try to reblog for you. It's now been about 10 years since I asked for DD, and I had told CD about my interest in spanking prior to that, though I don't really recall when that was. So, my memory is not super detailed at this point but I'll try to give a general idea.

As wild as this is, he playfully spanked me before we were officially dating. About a week before he'd ask me to be his girlfriend, we went to the grocery store to hang out because that's all that is open in our town after like 7pm so we'd just go walk around the store sometimes when we were friends. And this day I had attended a funeral and I was still wearing a dress but I had switched into some flip-flops so my feet would be more comfortable. And as we're walking around I decided to buy some chips, but the ones I wanted were on a higher shelf and I am short, so I stepped on one of the lower shelves to get myself high enough to reach the chips I wanted, but one of my flip-flops fell off and he grabbed it while I was still up on the shelf and used it to swat my butt. I think basically in response to seeing that he was open to that sort of play (literally meaning play, no sexual connotation) I started leaning into that sort of play fighting, play wrestling kinda rough housing stuff with him and I'd slap his ass to get him to retaliate. He'd always do this harder, so I'd fight back harder, and I think it was after we were officially dating, but it eventually advanced to him using my belt on me over my pants! But it was all very giggly and playful. In hindsight, this sort of play probably should have made it clear to both of us that we were playing with spanking as a kink but it was never overtly sexual so I had compartmentalized it as just, innocent play. Haha.

I'm REALLY guessing here, but I think we had probably been dating at least six months before I actually told him I was into spanking. He's always had an easier time being open and direct with conversations in general, but especially sexual ones, than I have been. So pretty early on he would try to ask me questions to get a better understanding of my sexual interests and what I liked, basically. I had a lot of shame and anxiety around my sexuality and my kinks and had no experience with being open about anything like that, I found myself sort of just getting awkward when he tried to get me to talk about things like that, and so he never pushed too hard. I knew that spanking was a meaningful part of my sexuality but I was so young and naive still that I thought this was like a one in a million type of kink to have. So for a while I thought it was so weird that I would just never be able to tell him or anyone as it was so 'freakish' in my mind. But as our relationship progressed and I felt safer and safer, it just felt less possible to keep it from him. So eventually I did. I don't remember exactly what I said, sorry. I know that when I spilled the beans, I said something like 'I hope you don't think I'm weird' or gross or a freak or something like that, idk exactly. But I know his response to me was essentially "What? no….that's hot!" which was SUCH a relief because I was so in love with him and it would have been devastating if he was judgemental of it. I believe he also said something to make me think that being into it wasn't nearly as weird (I guess what I really mean is rare) as I had believed it to be. At this time, I had not yet come across the idea of DD, so really all I shared was I was into spanking as that's basically all I knew.

After finding that out, he'd smack my butt while we were doing sexual things but I didn't really enjoy that much so that didn't last. A few years later I came across the idea of DD online and shared that with CD. He was curious but also had some concerns and a lot of questions. He didn't feel like I 'needed' rules and worried that giving me a rule would cause me to break that rule to get spanked which was a dynamic he didn't want to create. I didn't really have good answers to his questions, and I also was still deeply ashamed of these desires so it made it hard for me to have conversations about any of this. I'd even try to avoid saying the word 'spanking' out loud which was really confusing. In hindsight, I just clearly was not ready to engage with any of this stuff because I couldn't talk about it clearly enough to keep things safe. And I didn't realize that, but thankfully, he did. So for a while we'd occasionally talk about it but he'd raise the same questions that I didn't have good answers to and so I'd get awkward and embarrassed and end the conversation and it wouldn't be brought up again for a while. But over time we worked through some of the questions and concerns enough to feel comfortable giving it a try, except we couldn't think of any good rules at first. But then one day I lost my debit card again, which was a recurring problem for me, and it occurred to CD that it might make a good rule so he suggested it as our first rule and that's how we started.

And since then it's been a whole lot of communication and learning as we go, adapting regularly to insight we gain into ourselves and each other along the way. :)

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; GUTS by Olivia Rodrigo (Part I)

ALL-AMERICAN BITCH

I pay attention to things that most people ignore.

I'm alright with the movies that make jokes 'bout senseless cruelty, that's for sure.

I am built like a mother and a total machine.

I feel for your every little issue.

I make light of the darkness.

I've got sun in my motherfuckin' pocket.

I forgive, and I forget.

I know my age, and I act like it.

I got class and integrity.

I'm a perfect all-American bitch.

I know my place, and this is it.

I don't get angry when I'm pissed.

I'm the eternal optimist. I scream inside to deal with it.

Oh my fucking god.

I'm grateful all the time.

I'm sexy, and I'm kind.

I'm pretty when I cry.

BAD IDEA RIGHT?

Haven't heard from you in a couple of months.

I'm out right now and I'm all fucked up.

I'm sensing some undertone.

I'm right here with all my friends.

You're sending me your new address?

I know we're done.

I know we're through

God, when I look at you...

I should probably not.

It's a bad idea, right?

Fuck it, it's fine.

Yes, I know that he's my ex.

Can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend.

The biggest lie I ever said.

I just tripped and fell into his bed.

I know I should stop, but I can't.

I told my friends I was asleep.

I never said where or in whose sheets.

I'm sure I've seen much hotter men, but I really can't remember when.

VAMPIRE

How's the castle built off people you pretend to care about?

Just what you wanted.

Look at you, cool guy, you got it.

I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes.

Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise.

I loved you truly.

You gotta laugh at the stupidity.

I've made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine.

I should've known it was strange.

I used to think I was smart, but you made me look so naive.

You sold me for parts as you sunk your teeth into me.

Every girl I ever talked to told me you were bad news.

God, I hate the way I called them crazy too.

You're so convincing

How do you lie without flinching?

Can't figure out just how you do it and god knows I never will.

Went for me and not her 'cause girls your age know better.

You said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard?

You can't love anyone 'cause that would mean you had a heart.

I tried to help you out.

How you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand.

LACY

Skin like puff pastry.

Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell?

Did I ever tell you that I’m not doin' well?

Like perfume that you wear, I linger all the time.

It takes over my life.

I see you everywhere.

The sweetest torture one could bear.

I'm losin’ it lately.

I feel your compliments likе bullets on skin.

Aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist?

Like ribbons in your hair, my stomach's all in knots.

You got the one thing that I want.

It's like you're made of angel dust.

It's like you're out to get me.

You poison every little thing that I do

I just loathe you lately.

I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you.

I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you.

BALLAD OF A HOMESCHOOL GIRL

I don't think I get along with anyone.

I'm on the outside of the greatest inside joke.

Feels like my skin doesn't fit right over my bones.

So I guess I should go...

The party's done, and I'm no fun.

I told secrets I shouldn't tell.

I stumbled over all my words.

I made it weird.

I made it worse.

Each time I step outside, it's social suicide.

I laughed at the wrong time.

I talkеd to this hot guy, swore I was his type.

Guess that he was makin' out with boys, like, the whole night.

Everything I do is tragic.

Every guy I like is gay.

Oh, god, what did I say?

I'm shocked I'm still alive.

MAKING THE BED

Want it, so I got it.

Another thing I ruined I used to do for fun.

I thought it, so I said it.

Another day pretending I'm older than I am.

Another perfect moment that doesn't feel like mine.

Another thing I forced to be a sign.

Sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am.

Push away all the people who know me the best.

It's me who's been makin' the bed.

I'm so tired of bein' the girl that I am.

Every good thing has turned into somethin' I dread.

I'm playin' the victim so well in my head.

I read somewhere it's 'cause my life feels so out of control.

I tell someone I love them just as a distraction.

They tell me that they love me like I'm some tourist attraction.

They're changin' my machinery, and I just let it happen.

I got the things I wanted, it's just not what I imagined.

Counting all of the beautiful things I regret.

[vorish-wonderland]

Floyd has been bothering Riddle a bit too much recently. Riddle, who's been studying shrinking spells for an assignment in class, realizes he has the perfect way to get Floyd to stop annoying him.

Includes: soft/safe vore, unwilling prey, a sequel scenario to Let's Play Hide & Seek~!

✮✶True Or False✶✮

☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ

Riddle was studying in the library again. It's still quite a peaceful experience, but...

Ever since the incident with Floyd last month, Riddle hasn't exactly liked being alone in the library.

Not to mention Floyd's been annoying him even more this past month.

"Hey hey Goldfishie~ You tasted so good, can I eat you again~?"

"Goldfishie, you should talk to Azul and make a contract! That way I can eat you again when you break it~!"

"Ehehe, I just felt so good with you in there~ Mmmmhmhm... you filled me up so well, Goldfishie~"

"C'mon, just let me get a lick, Goldfishie~!!"

Riddle sighed, and just continued studying one of his spell books. This project includes learning a shrinking spell, huh...? It sure would be fun to get back at Floyd for what happened by, like, shrinking him and putting him in a jar he can't get out of, or something... yeah, that'd be funny.

"Hey Goldfishie~!!"

Speak of the devil...

"Goldfishie, I just had a really fun idea for something we can do together~!"

Riddle clutched at his stomach as Floyd spoke. He'd woken up surprisingly late today with no time to eat breakfast... he was regretting that decision now.

Suddenly, Riddle got an idea.

He grabbed his magic pen from his breast pocket and quickly cast the spell he was studying on Floyd.

"Woah, what was that, Goldfish?" Floyd asked. "My body's feelin' all weird..."

In almost less than a second, Floyd shrunk to about the same size Riddle was during the incident last month.

Riddle picked up Floyd and placed him down on the table in front of him.

"Am I dreaming?" Floyd asked. "If so, why aren't you a goldfish, Goldfishie?"

"...I've been wondering things about merfolk recently." Riddle said. "Let's play a little true or false game, Floyd."

"Huh-?"

"True or false..." Riddle unscrewed the cap to his water bottle. "Even when under the effects of a potion... a merman will revert to his true form when exposed to water. True or false, Floyd...?"

"Psh, false, obviously-" Riddle suddenly poured some water onto Floyd.

"Hm. Seems you were wrong." Riddle said, looking down at Floyd, still tiny but now in his merform. "Next question... before merfolk were recognized as people, many of them were caught and used as food. True or false, Floyd?"

"H-hey wait, Goldfishie, you... you aren't about to-"

"True. Though humans have tried to bury this fact." Riddle explained, picking up Floyd. "Final question. I'm hungry enough to eat anything right now. True. Or. False. Floyd."

"I'm... I-I'm gonna hope it's... false...?"

Riddle simply smiled, before putting Floyd tail-first into his mouth.

"Hang on Goldfishie!! Let's talk this out! You, y-you don't really want to eat me, right?!" Floyd actually started panicking.

Riddle made sure to enjoy this.

And then, he swallowed.

"Hahaha! Good joke, Goldfishie!! Y-you really got me-!"

Again.

"No! Goldfish don't eat morays! That's just not how this works! So you gotta stop this, Goldfishie!"

Again. At this point, Floyd's whole tail was in Riddle's throat.

"GOLDFISHIE PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!"

Riddle thought it was funny, hearing Floyd panic like this. He enjoyed being the more powerful one.

"Goldfishie... I-I'm begging you, please don't-"

Riddle swallowed one final time, making sure to do so before Floyd could finish speaking.

Riddle exhaled contently. Floyd tasted... terrible, probably because of his weird eel slime. But, despite the terrible taste, Riddle still enjoyed feeling Floyd go down...

Meanwhile, Floyd was freaking out because oh my seven Goldfishie just fucking ate him.

"Thank you for the snack, Floyd." Riddle contently licked his lips.

Riddle continued going about his day as if he didn't have one of the Leech twins in his stomach.

He found himself involuntarily blushing whenever he felt Floyd's little squirming movements.

This is about the time contact breakers start panicking and begging to get out... they start taking about how it's starting to 'hurt' and they'll do 'whatever Azul tells them to' if they're let out. Floyd wasn't in any pain, but... there's almost no water in here, which is not great for him, seeing as he's stuck in his merform...

"Hey, Goldfishie..." Floyd said. "It's gettin' kinda hard to breathe in here... c-could ya maybe... I dunno, let me out and pour some water on me...?" He asked, scratching at the moving walls of Riddle's stomach.

"Hmhm... that tickles, Floyd." Riddle mockingly said. "And relax, you're safe in there~"

"...why does that sound so familiar?"

"Because you said almost that exact sentence to me when you ate me, Floyd." Riddle angrily said.

"Oooohhhhh... oh, oh yeah, that... that makes sense..." Floyd said to himself. "It's a sorta dramatic irony thing, yeah?"

"I simply wanted to get back at you for eating me." Riddle said, taking a large sip of water. "I'm not going to let you out for a while, by the way. But don't be worried, I used a spell to temporarily halt digestion, you'll be fine."

"...I'm still gonna suffocate, Goldfishie."

"Are you?"

And then, a rush of water flooded the tight area.

"Huh. Guess not." Floyd said, now surrounded by water. "You're reeeal petty, y'know that, Goldfishie?"

"FOR WANTING TO GET BACK AT YOU FOR EATING ME?!"

"Well when you put it like that..."

"Although..." Riddle contently poked at his full stomach. "I'm starting to understand why you liked having me inside of you~"

"Good to see we're starting to understand each other." Floyd said, mostly to himself. "So... could you maybe let me out~?"

"No."

"Yeah, should've expected that..."

This was a learning experience for both boys.

Riddle learned he likes the taste of eel, and Floyd learned he doesn't like being eaten.

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

As promised - here's my final thoughts on The Golden Girls, my way of honouring this show that has kept me such good company in the past few months. Before I begin, I'd like to thank all the people who have liked/reblogged my rants about this series: I've appreciated each and every one of you, and while we might be few, it's been nice knowing I wasn't alone shouting into the void. I hope you had as much fun as I did.

Be advised: this is long and rather messy, but if you're interested, here you go - under the cut!

Let me preface by saying that I knew basically next to nothing about TGG before I started watching, last September. I had seen the couple of very famous posts about it circling around tumblr, which gave me the idea that it was an old but relatively progressive and very good show, and I knew that Betty White, beloved American actress, starred in it - so, in general, I had a favourable disposition, but being both non-American and born in the late 90s I had literally no idea what I might be getting into.

To be honest, I knew I wanted to watch it eventually, but I would have waited even more if not for a certain occurrence - that is, I read the Good Omens book. It is mentioned a couple times in there that Crowley considers TGG one of his favourite sitcoms (there's even a scene in which hell communicates with him via Rose). I was at the time (and still am...) completely obsessed with GO S2, and in need of something to distract myself: I took the bait, expecting it to be a good way to spend some time.

I did not expect to like it this much.

Some stuff you probably already know - it's really very progressive, especially for its time, and it's certainly got an original premise: how many shows do you know in which the main characters are all middle-aged and old women? And, of course, you probably know that it's a funny comedy show. Here's the thing, if you've never watched it: it is way, way funnier than you think. Yes, funnier than that. My God, is this show hilarious. I am, in general, an emotive person when watching stuff, but I've never watched a show that had me laughing so much, so loudly and so consistently during its whole airtime (B99 got close, but nowhere on this level). The writing is (almost always) great, the jokes and gags are delightful, the characters all have amazing chemistry, and the actresses are EXCEPTIONAL. Rue McClanahan, Bea Arthur, Betty White and Estelle Getty deserved all the praise and awards they got for this series, and even more. It's almost miraculous how so much talent - in the cast and crew alike - managed to end up in the right place at the right time like this.

Let's delve into a little more detail, shall we? So - the writing. As I mentioned, the premise is already original in and of itself - a show about four ageing ladies living as roommates in Miami would be groundbreaking even now, let alone in 1985. Not only that: it's a show in which four ageing ladies live as roommates with very full, enjoyable lives, fulfilling hobbies and platonic relationships, romances and sexual relations; it's a show in which four ageing ladies deal with life, death, old age, health problems (especially "feminine" ones: that episode about menopause was scandalous!), family, love, sexuality and a plethora of other subjects, while at the same time embarking on shenanigans and incredible adventures.

I always say that, while the opposite is not always true, great comedy actors are also great dramatic actors, and this is true for the writing as well: the same actresses and writers that make you laugh until you wheeze one second will have you a sobbing mess in the next one. The girls face together a lot of heavy subjects and events (Blanche's relationship with her estranged children, Dorothy's first marriage and divorce, Phil's death, Rose's childhood in the orphanage and the identity of her parents, and so, so much more), which creates the space for some truly moving performances by all actresses. Hell, there's a scene in S7 that lasts less than a couple minutes, in which Rose talks to a dog, that still makes me tearful when I think about it.

Not only that: this show delves into a lot of themes that are still controversial today, and while a few jokes here and there might be outdated by today's standards (although there's much, much less of these than I expected), you can always tell they treated these issues with love, care, and genuine respect for all the people involved. The episode dealing with AIDS has already reached tumblr fame, but just off the top of my head I remember episodes about the life of immigrants, queer identities (both in terms of sexuality and gender identity), artificial insemination, racism, poverty, homelessness, ageism & the treatment of people in nursing homes, assisted suicide (yes, you read that right). Compare this with sitcoms aired years later (I'm looking at you, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and The Big Bang Theory), and then tell me this isn't a Very Special show.

Above all this, though, TGG is a show about four ageing women who become a family - who sometimes fight, sometimes keep secrets from each other, sometimes get involved in absurd circumstances, often bicker, but always, always, always have each other's backs and take care of each other. That's why, while the series finale was touching (once all the circumstances are taken into account: I wouldn't have forgiven such a hurried romance for Dorothy if not for the very strict constraints the writers had to work within), the actual, real finale to me was the next-to-last episode, Home Again, Rose: Part 1&2. Let me explain why.

There's an episode in S4, E22: Sophia's Choice, which deals with the condition of people in nursing homes, and how so many slip through the cracks of the system and live out their old age in horrible situations, alone and without any support. The three younger girls are understandably shaken by this thought: old age is growing closer for all of them - what if they end up slipping through the cracks too? What if they have to live out their days in solitude and abusive conditions? In the end, Rose (met with enthusiasm by her roommates) finds this solution:

I know, girls: let's make a pact that we'll always take care of each other. That we'll never desert each other, no matter what.

and in Home Again, Rose, Dorothy restates this same promise to Rose's daughter, Kirsten:

Honey, we made a pact a few years ago that if anything happened to any one of us, the other three would take care of her. Sort of an extra insurance policy.

She says this after an entire episode where the theme is that of family by blood vs chosen family: an episode in which the girls are barred from seeing Rose, who has to undergo an operation that might leave her dead or unable to take care of herself alone, because they're not her relatives; an episode in which they spend hours upon hours at the hospital anyway, waiting and hoping, and they are ready - they actually suggest the idea - to put themselves in horrible debt to cover Rose's medical expenses, because while they might not be related, they are family. It's just like Blanche states at the end of the very first episode, S1E1 The Engagement:

I was humming. And humming means I'm feeling good. And then I realized, I was feeling good because of you! You made the difference. You're my family, and you make me happy to be alive.

Do you see? They set the scene for how these characters interact in the very first episode, and then spend 7 seasons showing how true it is, up until the very last second. Sure - the girls argue, they bicker, they hurt each other at times, but you never doubt that they love each other deeply (except in the very, very rare occasions when the writing wasn't up to par - and even then, the doubt is very fleeting and quickly resolved). All of them have both blood relatives and romantic relationships (although not all of those are happy), and yet these other bonds are never portrayed as more important or more significant than what they share with each other. This is the very heart of the show, and it's a heart that beats thunderous and warm throughout all seven seasons of it - it's what makes TGG such a beloved, well-remembered sitcom.

(Since this is tumblr, aka the shipping old people site, and since you've all read my comments in the past few months, let me also spend a couple words on the queer romance reading of Blanche/Dorothy/Rose. For my own enjoyment, and because I needed some old woman yuri in my life, I decided in S1E1 that these three were in an open polycule and watched accordingly; can you blame me? They're always touching, they send each other some quite smitten Looks, they have great romantic chemistry, they're committed to each other, and quite a number of scenes are actually explicitly suggestive in that sense, although it's usually as part of a bigger comedic setup. I like to think that maybe, in a different and kinder world, this series would have ended with the three of them staying together as partners - if only for the fact that such a romance would have had incredible comedic potential. In any case, the point stands: these women love each other, whether there's some romance in there or it's all platonic, and that's the beating core of the show.)

Of course, even the best plots won't work if the characters involved fall flat; luckily, all the characters in TGG are spectacular. They're all very distinct, identifiable personalities without ever becoming stereotypes or growing stale; they have incredible chemistry in a comedic setting, but are so well-rounded that they work perfectly in a more somber setting too.

I've already commented in the past on how great a decision it was to keep Sophia a main character of the show, instead of just a recurring one: her special brand of caustic sarcasm is a crucial part of the dynamic between the main girls, and her one-liners are always iconic. Her bond with Dorothy is so sweet and realistic, and the way she gradually becomes Blanche's and Rose's mom too was delightful to watch. Dorothy herself, of course, is my very first love: the character that left the best impression on me in E1, and the one I resonate with the most. Her stares are iconic, her comebacks are legendary, and her regal poise and steadfast delivery make for a uniquely enjoyable kind of humour that I don't think I'll ever find anywhere else. And this is only her comedic side: her sweet and dramatic moments are equally memorable, and make her a favourite in no time. Rose is a testament to both the genius of the writers and Betty White's one-of-a-kind talent: her gimmicks and traits would have left me bored after a while in any other show, but in this one they just make her endearing. Giving her a heart of gold (on the good side) and an incredibly competitive streak (on the bad side) were clever choices, and they combined with her naivety and absurd anecdotes to make a character that is always, always funny, and always, always lovable. And finally, Blanche - oh, Blanche! I didn't expect to like her this much. I'm guessing this is equal parts due to the amazing character writing and to Rue McClanahan's exceptional ability - it might be because she's wonderfully charming in her usual, confident self, and even more compelling in her rare moments of vulnerability. What I can tell you with certainty is this: at some (early) point while watching I realized that I couldn't get enough of her character, and the feeling never went away, up until the very end.

You really can't help but love them all! The way they interact with each other, they grow with and thanks to each other, they support each other - it all makes for such compelling characters and dynamics that it's impossible not to enjoy. Betty White stated once, during an interview, that these four ladies are nice to visit for a half-hour every week, to see what they're doing, and I agree with the sentiment (although much more than 30 minutes a week would be wonderful!): they feel like real people, with real lives, and you just want to know what they're up to this time and how they're going to power and laugh through it. To misquote what Neil Gaiman once said about Aziraphale and Crowley in Good Omens: you could lock these four in a dark basement for a half hour and you'd have an entertaining show.

There's so much more I'd like to talk about (it's real hyperfixation hour, boys!) - from the amazing work of the costumes department to more character analysis to specific plotlines and themes, I could stay here rambling on for literal hours. However, this post is already long enough - I'll just keep this steam to fuel my creative endeavors.

Just briefly - so, what's next? Technically speaking, there's still The Golden Palace to watch, but I haven't made up my mind about it yet. According to the internet, Bea Arthur left TGG in part because she felt the writing was declining in quality, and I can see why she thought so; although the general level of the show always remained high, I also had my issues with some episodes in S7, and from the few reviews I've read about it it's a decline that's felt in Golden Palace as well. There's also the elephant in the room of Bea Arthur's departure: I think it was once again Betty White who said that Golden Palace felt like a table with a missing leg, without Dorothy there, although I'm sure Don Cheadle and the other actors did their best to compensate for her absence. This being said, I do love Sophia, Blanche and Rose, so I might decide to watch it eventually - although I'll probably opt for something else for a while, now.

If you've gotten this far, thank you so much. Watching this show and sharing my love for it with you all has been a delightful experience, and I'm truly grateful for it. I'll keep interacting with the fandom, of course (I have so many ideas for stories and vignettes!) - and I'll be sure to rewatch an episode here and there anytime I need to wrap myself in laughter and warmth. To you all, to Sophia, to Dorothy, to Rose, to Blanche: Thank you for being a friend!

[youkaigakkou-tl]

What do you think makes this series so good/fun to read?

AHA YOU’VE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD

(using a readmore bc its 1k words)

I think a manga has to do 2 things well, mainly. To grab your attention so you start reading it, and to keep your attention so you don’t drop it, and come back every month/week/whatever for it.

I actually started reading Yohaji because I saw it in a bookstore and the art, characters and premise caught my eye. While the “student transfers to a wacky school” scenario has been done to death (though I do enjoy it), I’ve never actually seen the teacher version of it done. I think I’ve started appreciating it more as I’ve grown up and grown out of “14 year old swordboy saves the world” plots, it’s just as fun to see an adult MC and adult characters having fun.

And speaking of characters, I think Haruaki is the perfect character, in general. His design is clean. Simple. To the point. I think a good indicator of a good character design is how easy you can shorthand it, how many details you can take away and still have it be recognizable. You put a ahoge on a distressed circle and that’s him.

My favorite phenomenon is the fact that on any book website, the first volume is always rated the worst. The biggest criticism I see of the manga, and of Haruaki specifically, is his sailor uniform fetish and “I can’t stand to watch him get bullied”. The second one is a common attitude problem I see of people going into comedy media, of taking things too seriously. Of course different genres of media have to be enjoyed with different metrics, you don’t go into Looney Tunes expecting high literature, and “sucks that Wile E Coyote got an anvil dropped on him”, said no one ever. “You’re supposed to laugh” is the most cringe thing to say about a joke, but I think some people ought to have a wider collection of lenses to look at media through.

I have thought about the sailor uniform fetish thing long and hard. The knee jerk reaction is “fetish is a strong word” and “he doesn’t need that character trait” but those are COWARD THOUGHTS! The more I think about it, the more I think it’s a genius move. First of all, it grounds him. In another more serious series, his combination of character traits (smart, athletic, has exorcism powers, reincarnation of Abe no Seimei) would be pretty scary, but his patheticness and his sailor uniform fetish grounds him firmly in the comedy genre. It’s also a good setup for jokes, and punchline to other jokes. Also, it gives him a reason to use his powers and do all the other weird shit without the story getting too serious.

Second of all, it acts as the great filter. Too many manga have your turn-off way too late into the story, whereas Yohaji has it in the synopsis, and if you don’t read that, on page two of chapter 1. It sets the tone, and you’re immediately confronted with the decision of “am I okay with this”. And if it’s not a turn-off, it’s almost certain you’re the target audience and are going to enjoy it. It’s almost like a thesis statement, “if you like this thing you’ll like the rest of it”.

The progression of the story is good too, while it starts with the tried and true “ahh the students are youkai so scary”, it’s actually a good thing, since it grounds the reader and gives a point of reference to jump off from. And as someone who reads other manga, and has seen fiction before, you probably get used to it pretty quickly, and the story does as well, and by the end of volume 1 it’s no longer doing the “youkai so scary” thing. (Chin up, Seimei-kun! There’s more things to be scared of in the world!)

The 25 students of class 2-3 are also handled super well. It’s a daunting number going into it, but most of them get a focus chapter early on, as well as earlier chapters being focused on the core group of Sano, Mame, Hijita and Beniko to ease you into the world. Even the ones that don’t get focus chapters show up in the background and interact enough that even if you’re bad with names, you can at least remember a trait or schtick of theirs. (See: the amount of times I’ve heard “oh yeah the merman” or “oh yeah the toilet paper”)

As a comedy manga, Yohaji gets to pull my all-time favorite trick: “Ohhhh there’s plot”. This is something I realised watching chainsawman analyses, which is “openly showing emotion is cringe”. This is true of basically everything, casual conversation with your friends, a song that hits too close to home, a story that sees you like a specimen under a microscope to pick apart; instinctively, many people show aversion to this, after all, isn’t it terrible to be seen so thoroughly by something other than yourself?

The great trick of comedy, is its ability to let your guard down to things like that. Unlike sadness or outrage, also exploitable and addictive emotions, joy is positive, and there’s no reason to pull yourself away. Comedy also typically doesn’t take itself as seriously, so when there IS an emotional moment, you’re vulnerable and it hits you full force. Basically it’s like this:

And now, the most important thing that Yohaji does well IMO, is each chapter’s structure. With monthly manga, a huge problem is by the next month you’ve forgotten what the previous chapter was about. (This is a problem I personally have with a lot of the Jump SQ monthly mangas, that shit just keeps escalating and I don’t know what’s going on anymore and I’m just along for the ride) This isn’t even usually a problem with Yohaji, since most chapters are standalones anyway (or 2 parters) but we’ve gotten to see how it handles this with Renren arc and Kyoto arc, and I have to say, really well!

Each chapter sets up its own minor conflict and resolves it by the end, while also setting up a vague direction for the next chapter. And the first 1 or 2 pages of each chapter has enough information to remind you what happened previously. This self-contained conflict-resolution makes each chapter a lot more memorable and satisfying, as well as being more effective for establishing new information for the rest of the arc to act on. (See: the common complaint on monthly manga chapters of “what? that’s all that happened this month??”, which is what happens, I find, when you keep escalating and escalating without ever resolving anything)

Well. All that said, the simplest answer to “what makes this fun to read” could probably be boiled down to clear panelling and clean character designs. Without those nobody will stick around to see what else the manga has to offer. Ultimately, it’s a matter of personal taste, and I think it’s better to have a specific target audience than casting the net wide, and it just happens you find out if you’re that target audience by page 2 of chapter 1.

[sabraeal]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤️

This is always the toughest because I have written over 100 fics (much more, if you count the ones in collections) and I truly do love pretty much all of them. I think I will keep this to Obiyuki fics I really found technically difficult, and creatively satisfying!

All Pain Will Turn To Medicine Joanna likes to refer to this as "as close a crossover between Jen's obiyuki fic and original writing as she can come and still call it fanfic" which is absolutely correct, since this fic require making an ENTIRE CAST of OCs to support the premise of "Obi and Shirayuki grow up as childhood friends in the canon universe." I worked on mainly original writing before I started posting fic, so I delight in making characters and then convincing people to care about them, sometimes even against their will.

And That's the Reason We Need Lips So Much Written for the VERY FIRST Obiyukiweek back in 2016, I had been talking about doing something just like this since I pretty much started posting Seven Suitors. Sorata has a love of taking tropes an twisting them, and I thought the "true love's kiss/kiss of life" would be a hilarious one to tackle because...CPR usually ends with vomiting and cracked ribs. I had to do some really in-depth research into the mechanism of hemlock poisoning, since there is no actual known cure, and make up a very convincing one for Shirayuki to discover-- half the reason U started writing fic for this fandom was because I had professional biology knowledge, I wasn't gonna handwave it!

Creatures of a Brief Season Like All Pain, this was for the first AU bingo we ever ran, and I was using a bunch of ideas we had all come up with almost six months earlier on the obiyuki server we had at the time. I'd been so taken with the idea of doing a retelling with daemons, especially with Shirayuki having a daemon that settled late, and Obi having a the witch's tether for his daemon...the biggest hurdle was hoping that I'd done the whole concept justice. It was a LOT of pressure, but it remains one of my favorite fics.

Family, Duty, Honor A Song of Ice and Fire is possibly one of my favorite fantasy series of all time (the show....exists), so when this showed up on my bingo board a few years ago I was ECSTATIC. I had many, MANY ideas for a long-form series that would involve SECRET PARENTAGE and POLITICAL INTRIGUE, and probably DRAGONS, but since it was just for bingo, I wanted it to focus on Obi & Shirayuki...and thus we started at the Fake Marriage, Real Baby plot 🤣 ASoIaF is very densely packed with lore and I wanted to keep this fic the same way...but also make it readable to those who do not shove themselves face first into 800 page fantasy novels. It was a balancing act that I feel like I ultimately got; there's lots of little hints left for fans of the series, but it's enjoyable to people who aren't!

A Color By Any Other Name I had been talking about writing a fic like this for YEARS before I got to sit down and write it; I was initially hesitant because sometimes relatively benign disabilities like colorblindness are used more as like...entertainment in fic, either just as jokes or something to be fixed by the end of the narrative. And my philosophy is always that if I am going to include and experience in a fic-- whether it be something playing a tabletop game, or experiencing grief-- it should feel relatable to a person who has experienced it. So if I wanted to write someone discovering their colorblindness (based more than a little off a close friend's experience in college), I didn't want the colorblindness to be the punchline. In the end I had more than a couple people mention they had read it out to colorblind boyfriends/husbands who had also thought it was funny, so I'm pretty happy with how it turned out!

[rayclubs]

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Testing the waters on how many vent posts it takes before everyone gets tired and leaves, but thankfully nobody actually reads these.

For the record, I am not planning to kill myself this time. I may sound like it, I may want to, but I'm not doing it. I don't have the means, nor the opportunity, nor the backup failsafe money bank for another hospital trip. So I'm not doing it.

I'm slowly chipping at the cut in my foot. I'm moving out in november, and I've realized I can't quit by then, so I'll just keep doing it. I'll get clean razors eventually. Until then, any handy tools will have to do. It... Feels good, if I'm being honest. Like I've missed it. Like an old friend.

I tried talking about it to someone but they told me in no uncertain terms to shut up and not bring it up again. They say not making jokes about suicide helps, but I've found that sincere, non-humorous discussions fair even worse. I tried so many times. I reached out to everyone I have. It doesn't matter if they tell me to keep it quiet outright, or just gently, softly, lovingly hint that I should drop the subject and go back to the usual jokey-jokes and lighthearted fun. I'm tired, and I've tired everyone with me. It doesn't matter how I'm doing, as long as I can keep things fun. Even my sister knows. She... She said nothing. I mean, she talks to me, just... Not about this. I can keep it fun and lighthearted, and it's not even untrue, I can still have fun, I just hurt. Every day from my waking up to dragging myself into bed I hurt, and I'm doing a terrible job of not letting it show, but it's passable and therefore enough. So I hurt, and I cut my hands, and I keep my scars from healing just to hurt in a different way for a bit, to take the edge off, to breathe. I can't wait for november, because there's only so much I can keep hidden from the people around me I don't trust, but once I'm alone? Once nobody is watching? I can cut all I want. Nothing else ever helps.

I really thought I was going to drown last friday. When pain exploded in the center of my chest and I lost balance, as the underwater current pulled me away from the shore, I thought that was it. I think maybe it was. It still feels like drowning, I think. What a pretentious thing to say. True though.

I'm acting like it's a recent thing but it's been going on for months. Years, maybe. I think I've always been wrong. The first time I burned my hand, I think I was thirteen? I still do that thing with the kettle, but I've learned other things. I want to try cigarette butts. I'm actually getting excited thinking about it, and you probably find it disgusting, but I sure don't. I'm past that. I'm a horrible person, if not in intent then in execution - I may mean well, but I'm not pleasant to be around, and I try, world knows I try for those I love the most - to make plans, to share interests, to talk about things without the looming weight of My Problem - tmcause that's what it is, right? It's my problem. Mine. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

Maybe I'll get a bad habit. Start smoking or drinking or some such. Doubt it'll help as well as the cuts though. I swear I'm not planning again, but if a car hit me, I think I'd say "thank you". That's my way of dealing with the blame. A natural disaster would work just as well. As long as it's not me. I've done enough for one day.

I don't know how to end this. Just. For the love of fuck, don't preach to me about how it gets better and I'm actually secretly loved unbeknownst to myself. I know it's always meant well, I'm just finding it impossible to believe lately, and unlike you who knows me in monologue, I know people in conversation - there's no secret there. I'm fun. I do okay. As long as I keep it up, I might come out of the other end and still have friends. Wouldn't that be nice.